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Voluntarily Childfree Women: Experiences and

Counseling Considerations

Article in Journal of Mental Health Counseling · July 2006

DOI: 10.17744/mehc.28.3.39w5h93mreb0mk4f

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 Journal of Mental Health Counseling
Volume 28/Number 3/July 2006/Pages 269–284

Voluntarily Childfree Women: Experiences and

Counseling Considerations

Debra Mollen

Traditional mothering continues to receive social sanctioning while women who choose not to have
children are oftentimes ignored or criticized. Voluntarily childfree women participated in a quali-
tative investigation in which semi-structured interviews, journals, and a focus group were utilized
to capture their experience of stigmatization. Data source triangulation, member checks, and con-
sultation with a peer debriefer contributed to the authenticity of the results. Two broad themes cap-
turing reasons for the choice not to have children and five categories of stigmatization were delin-
eated from the participants’ narratives. Considerations for mental health counselors who work with
women who do not want children are offered.

Despite the growing number of women who are choosing not to have
children in the United States and abroad (Casey, 1998), current cultural
attitudes and sociopolitical practices continue to lionize traditional par-
enting while dismissing and oftentimes criticizing women who exercise
other options (Burkett, 2000). As “woman” and “mother” have become
largely synonymous, those who do not conform may experience an array
of responses that can include isolation and rejection. While both women
who desire but cannot have children and those who choose not to have
children fall outside the purview of mother, the latter are of particular
interest based on the fact that they actively choose an identity that differs
from the cultural norm.
Reasons for choosing not to have children are complex and responses
to childfree women are likely informed largely by gender role expecta-
tions. How we come to see childfree women is likely juxtaposed with how
we understand what a woman is and moreover, what she should be.
Counseling and psychology as disciplines have primarily reflected nega-
tive depictions of childfree women, as the standard for healthy adult
female development has been equated with mothering (Freud, 1949;
Ireland, 1993).

Debra Mollen, Ph.D., is assistant professor in the Department of Psychology and Philosophy
at Texas Woman’s University. E-mail: dmollen@mail.twu.edu.

269
270 JOURNAL OF MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELING

There is some research support for the notion that childfree adults are
perceived less favorably than their parenting peers. LaMastro (2001)
studied 254 undergraduate students to determine perceptions of volun-
tary and involuntary childfreedom. Participants read short passages about
married couples who had either no, one, two, or six children. Perceptions
of childfree adults were more negative compared to perceptions of par-
ents, and adults without children were ascribed poorer marital status than
couples with children and were perceived as less caring, sensitive, and
kind than parents.
Letherby (2002) studied women without children and found that invol-
untarily childfree women were typically regarded by others as desperate,
while voluntarily childfree women were “viewed as selfish and deviant
and portrayed in ways that emphasize this: as aberrant, immature, and
unfeminine” (p. 10). Similarly, Park (2002), who interviewed 24 voluntar-
ily childfree women and men, found that the overwhelming majority of
her participants reported experiencing others as seeing them as selfish,
egotistic, cold, materialistic, peculiar, and abnormal. Byrne (2000) studied
childfree single women living in Ireland and found that the women were
regularly asked about their single status, including their childfreedom.
She noted that the women were often regarded as “too selfish” to have a
child.
Much of the research on childfree women has been conducted by ask-
ing people about their perceptions regarding family size or by querying
childfree women about ways they manage stigma (see, for example,
LaMastro, 2001; Park, 2002) as opposed to explicating phenomenological
accounts of the choice not to have children and the experiences of
approval and stigma. I designed the current investigation to understand
voluntarily childfree women’s reasons for their choice, their experiences
of others’ reactions to their choice, and to provide guidelines to clinicians
in light of these experiences. The focus on women’s experiences specifi-
cally was chosen both because of the significance of the role of mothering
for women in pronatalist cultures and because of gender role implications
for women who make this choice (Eagly, Diekman, Johannesen-Schmidt,
& Koenig, 2004).

METHOD

Participants
Nine voluntarily childfree women in a Midwest state were identified by
key informants and through snowball sampling (Patton, 2002). The nine
women ranged in age from 32 to 51. All but one of the participants were
European American, with the remaining participant identifying as mul-
Mollen /CHILDFREE WOMEN 271

tiracial (European-, African-, and Native American). Two of the women

had completed high school, one held an associate’s degree, one had a
bachelor’s degree, two had master’s degrees, and three held doctoral
degrees. Personal annual income ranged from $18,000 to $84,000.
Four of the women were married, one was single and heterosexual, two
were living with their partners and bisexual (one with a man, one with a
woman), and two were lesbians living with their partners. I chose not to
limit participants to heterosexual women only because research indicates
that pursuant to mothering, heterosexual and non-heterosexual women
report similar experiences (e.g., Flaks, Ficher, Masterpasqua, & Joseph,
1995), because non-heterosexual women can and do choose to become
mothers, and because the ability to conceal one’s sexual orientation does
not preclude non-heterosexual women from potentially having experi-
ences similar to heterosexual women around issues of choosing not to
have children.

PROCEDURE

I examined the reasons women choose not to have children and the
responses women receive from strangers, acquaintances, family members,
friends, and professionals in light of their choice. Approval was granted
from the Institutional Review Board prior to beginning data collection.
Participants’ narratives were collected by three methods: through a semi-
structured interview process, semi-structured journal entries, and a focus
group. Questions were created in order to capture the broad range of
experiences and reasons for the women’s decision not to have children.
Participants were provided with the list of questions before the interviews
were conducted so that they could begin thinking about childfreedom in
their lives. Interviews took place at the researcher’s home, the homes of
the participants, or the workplaces of participants depending on the par-
ticipants’ preference. Each interview lasted between 60 and 90 minutes,
was audiotaped, and was transcribed verbatim. Member checks were per-
formed to ensure accuracy and increase the validity of the study.
Participants received a copy of their transcript and provided commentary
and correction. Participants were provided with paper journals although
all but one chose instead to keep their journals in computerized forms as
Word documents and provided them to the researcher at the end of the
data collection period. All participants completed between two and six
entries in response to the six journal prompts provided.
The one-time focus group occurred after the initial period of analysis
________________
Note: Copies of the interview questions and journal prompts are available from the author.
272 JOURNAL OF MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELING

had been conducted so that participants could further support or refute

emergent themes and categories as well as meet in a supportive environ-
ment with other childfree women. The group met in a room with one-way
observation capability housed in a university training clinic in a Midwest
state. A peer debriefer, as well as one undergraduate and one graduate
student who aided in the transcription process, observed the 90-minute
group with the participants’ knowledge and consent, and shared their
observations with the researcher which were incorporated into the subse-
quent stage of analysis. Seven of the nine women attended the focus
group; two were unable to attend due to scheduling conflicts that
appeared to be ongoing.

Data Analysis
Narratives were analyzed throughout the study using the grounded the-
ory approach in which themes and categories emerge from the data and
the data are reviewed continuously until they have been exhausted
(Merriam, 2001). Themes and categories were initially identified through
reviews of the verbatim transcripts and participants’ journals. Narrative
excerpts and journal segments were color coded according to the research
questions and formed the basis for the focus group questions. The data
generated by the focus group were then incorporated back into the initial
analysis and provided additional verification of themes and categories.
All narratives generated from each data collection source contributed to
the results and discussion of this study.
I used several methods of checking themes and categories in order to
provide verification of the findings. The triangulation of data sources
(Merriam, 2001) was one such measure taken to ensure the study’s valid-
ity; themes were verified by consultation with two primary individuals,
each with substantial experience with qualitative design and women’s
issues and neither of whom was voluntarily childfree herself; and emer-
gent themes were also discussed with the consultants in consideration of
the primary researcher’s choice not to have children. Finally, consultants
provided valuable aid by reading and interpreting transcripts, reviewing
and supplementing emerging themes, and aiding in analysis.

RESULTS

Reasons for the Choice

The women who participated in the study reported a wide range of rea-
sons for their choice not to have children. These were delineated into two
broad themes, Early and Global Factors, divided into three categories and
Adult Factors, divided into two categories.
Mollen /CHILDFREE WOMEN 273

Early and Global Factors Influencing the Choice

Participants voiced factors impacting their choice related to three cate-
gories: gender identity and gender role resistance, messages from and
relationships with parents, and early experiences with childcare.
Gender Identity and Gender Role Resistance. The women in the cur-
rent study demonstrated an oftentimes resistant and even rebellious
approach to socially mandated gender roles. For most, this resistance and
rebellion initially emerged in childhood and became even more salient as
they grew into adulthood. Many of them voiced an early rejection of gen-
der-prescribed activities and play experiences, such as playing with dolls.
Five of the nine participants were self-described “tomboys.” For some,
this meant a preference for opposite-sex endeavors.
Among those women who recollected their early play with dolls were
several accounts of realizing they played with them differently than did
their peers or sisters. Some, when they looked back at their involvement
with dolls, saw early rejections of the maternal role.
The accounts about play described in the narratives reflect instances of
early resistance to prescribed gender roles. Several of the women
expressed preferences for activities other than dolls, playing house, and
baby-sitting. They spoke instead about their enjoyment of books, playing
outdoors, and games and activities that were often more physically active
and exploratory than playing with dolls traditionally allows. Of those who
did play with dolls, their narratives indicated either frustration by the
dolls’ limitations in movement or utility, or they resonated with accounts
of doll play that was decidedly not nurturing nor maternal.
It was apparent from the participants’ narratives that the construct of
gender—particularly making meaning of one’s gender, of understanding
oneself as female—figured prominently for the participants in this study.
All of the women reflected deeply about the meaning of gender and
about their sense of themselves as girls and women. Concurrently, they
exhibited an early and sometimes pervasive refusal to live within the con-
fines of typical gender role socialization.
Messages from and Relationships with Parents. Participants were asked
about their experiences in childhood pertaining to implicit and explicit
messages about mothering, family life, and socio-cultural ideals of moth-
erhood. Participants remarked extensively about the early messages they
received and the nature of their family constellations. Their responses
indicated that early family relations and interactions were oftentimes piv-
otal in their later decision not to become mothers.
Participants’ commentaries about their upbringing reflected a hetero-
geneous response set. Some of the participants reported having very close
relationships with their parents and an extremely satisfying childhood.
274 JOURNAL OF MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELING

For some women, then, the eventual decision not to have children does
not appear rooted in their perceptions of their mothers’ parenting ability
or interest.
Many of the other participants observed either an inequity in parental
roles and/or a sense of deep dissatisfaction or ambivalence about their
mothers’ experiences as parents. Nicole*, while writing in her journal,
reflected back to when she was ten years old and first “realized that my
mother was less valued than my dad because she didn’t work outside the
home.”
Those participants who spoke about their relationships with their
fathers also reported a mixed array of experiences, both positive and neg-
ative, which may have had some impact on the crystallization of their gen-
der identities generally and their later decision not to have children, more
specifically.
Early Experiences with Child Care. I asked participants to discuss early
childhood care-giving experiences that they saw as critical to their deci-
sion not to have children. Again there was a good deal of heterogeneity
among the participants, particularly regarding early childhood experi-
ences with babysitting, within-family child-care, and other caretaking
responsibilities. The commonality among them is pervasiveness of early
responsibilities that seems to have contributed to their eventual conclu-
sion that full-time child-care and parenting were unappealing alterna-
tives. Other women reported indifference or even aversion to childcare
responsibilities but nonetheless found themselves in care-giving roles.
The emergent theme among the women as they reflected back on their
upbringing as perhaps having impacted the eventual choice to remain
childfree was threefold. First, the majority of the women had one or more
experiences in care-giving from young ages. This experience reflects well
the gendered expectation of providing care and nurturance to less able
individuals, whether younger children, incapacitated parents, or elderly
people. Second, the women reported varying responses to providing such
care, ranging from joy and satisfaction to boredom and aversion. Finally,
as the decision not to have children became crystallized, the majority of
the women rejected the mandate to take on the role of full-time care-
giver, at least insofar as becoming mothers was concerned.

Adult Factors that Influence the Choice to Remain Childfree

When participants were asked to discuss the driving forces behind their
decision to remain childfree, a myriad of reasons were generated.
Through their interviews, journals, and the focus group, participants
________________
* All names of participants are pseudonyms.
Mollen /CHILDFREE WOMEN 275

detailed varied reasons for their choice that are separated into the vari-
ous categories delineated in this section. As analysis of the results pro-
gressed, it became clear that factors influencing the choice to remain
childfree could be divided into two distinct categories: those internal to
the individual and those external, which were both intimate and more
global. Those factors more intrinsic and personal to the women were
divided into six categories of freedom, while those deemed external
reflected more broad-based concerns about the hazards of bringing a
child into the world.
Freedom. The women in the current investigation appear to have found
a sense of richness and relief in their decision not to have children, and all
nine reported relishing the freedoms they enjoyed as a result of their
choice. The freedom to travel and the unimpeded ability to move freely
through the world were recurring points in eight of the nine participants’
responses. This sense of freedom to move around their world may be
understood on multiple levels. On one level, the women enjoyed leisure
travel, spoke about trips they have taken or anticipated taking in the
future, dreamed of journeying to faraway places, and felt that travel
would be compromised or impossible if they had children.
At another level, the idea of freedom of movement seemed to be
understood as the unencumbered motion throughout the normal routine
of daily life and space to be oneself in one’s environment. Four of the
women equated motherhood with being largely confined to the home and
with being limited to the activities of homemaking. This seemed to con-
jure images of boredom, tedium, and idleness.
Seven of the women cited the freedom to devote ample time and
energy to their careers as additional support for the reasons they have
chosen not to have children. Interestingly, both the upper-middle class
well-educated professional women and the working-class, less-educated
women cited career involvement as one of the compelling benefits of
their decision. For the seven who discussed their careers, it became clear
that the motivation for their work was less about financial gratification
and more about making a contribution, having a creative outlet, and pur-
suing meaningful work that results in increased life satisfaction, feelings
of pride about one’s work, and a sense of personal accomplishment from
having a meaningful job. These accounts make it clear that the partici-
pants relish work as a meaningful extension of themselves and appreciate
the time and energy they can devote to their careers.
Eight of the nine participants in the study were in long-term committed
relationships that included marriage or cohabitation with either an oppo-
site or same-sex partner. Of these eight, six specifically remarked about
the freedom to devote more time, energy, and emotional resources to
276 JOURNAL OF MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELING

their intimate relationships than they anticipated might otherwise have

been possible had they chosen to become mothers. Jennifer described her
marriage as very happy and wondered about the addition of another per-
son to her union, “I just don’t know if I would want to change the dynam-
ics in my relationship. I think that once you have a child enter your life in
a very significant way, the dynamic changes.”
Kate, Nicole, and Lucy, all of whom are lesbian or bisexual, conveyed
similar notions about their relationships in their journals. Kate remarked,
“I love my life of freedom and being responsible for my primary relation-
ship and myself only.” Nicole said that an advantage to living a life with-
out children is the ability to devote “more time and energy to commit to
a relationship. I have the time and energy to devote to making my inti-
mate relationship one that is healthy, rewarding, and enjoyable.”
Eight of the women in the study stated that by not having children, they
were able to devote significant amounts of time and energy to their own
development. This was evident through their focus on their work, rela-
tionships, leisure activities, community involvement, and other interests,
especially plants and animals. They reported feeling unconstrained by the
responsibilities of tending to the needs of others and enjoyed being able
to channel that energy back toward themselves.
The participants voiced a collective awareness of the monetary costs
associated with having children and found relief in being financially less
encumbered than their parenting peers. Seven of the nine women men-
tioned the financial freedom associated with choosing not to have chil-
dren. Interestingly, women in both the lower income brackets and those
earning a considerable amount found that being free from the financial
components of childrearing was significant. A higher-earning woman
expressed concern about the cost of raising a child more generally and a
woman from a lower SES expressed a more personal sense of being
unable to properly raise a child on limited finances.
The issue of freedom, then, plays a pivotal role for the women in this
study in terms of their decision to remain childfree. Their choice not to
parent has freed them to explore in terms of travel and unencumbered
movement; devote more time to career, education, and relationships;
focus on themselves and their own interests and development; and have
fewer financial obligations and concerns than if they had become parents.
External Influences. The second distinct theme that arose pertaining to
the women’s decision not to have children from an adult perspective was
a number of factors more external to the women. These included women
who were concerned about genetically inheritable diseases and condi-
tions, and those who felt that adverse environmental conditions in the
world today would be detrimental to raising a child.
Mollen /CHILDFREE WOMEN 277

Three participants worried that they would pass along to their children
mental or physical illness that runs in their families. They were aware of
genetically transferable diseases and voiced an apprehension about the
possible effects of these illnesses on any children they might have had.
Five participants named environmental concerns as contributing to
their decision not to have children. Kate’s work with autistic young chil-
dren prompted her to think carefully about the environmental hazards
and the resulting trauma to children and their families. Nicole, Lois, Lucy,
and Jennifer mentioned overpopulation as a concern. Lois, a 46-year-old
lesbian woman of mixed ethnicity, wrote in her journal that by not having
children, she has “not contributed to the overpopulation of the planet.”
Jennifer was impassioned about the environmental impact of her decision
not to have children. Like Lois, she mentioned overpopulation as a signif-
icant concern.
For the women who named environmental reasons as contributing to
their decisions not to have children, their responses ranged from the
stress human life has on natural resources to the effects of overpopulation
on the environment and to the inadequate conditions facing many chil-
dren today. There was a voiced sense among four of the women that the
world is an unsafe place for children these days. They voiced a collective
concern about highly toxic ecological and sociocultural conditions for
children, including abuse, poverty, and terrorism, that contributed to their
decision to remain childfree.”

Support for the Choice Not To Have Children

The nine participants reported a wide range of reactions to their child-
freedom from others, from casual acquaintances to significant others.
Most stated that they felt a good deal of support from their closest friends
and family members, which sometimes took the form of a general degree
of acceptance of their decision to remain childfree. In some cases, the
women even reported being admired or revered for their choice. This was
most evident in Naomi’s narrative. Naomi came from a small rural work-
ing class Midwest town where nearly all of her peers who graduated from
high school or dropped out immediately married and began having chil-
dren. In her interview, Naomi reported receiving a good deal of support
and encouragement for her decision to remain single and childfree from
her peers.
While these accounts of support and admiration cannot be generalized,
one possible explanation for the experience of approval may lie in the
women’s backgrounds that differ from the idealized image of mother in
our culture. Indeed, current sociopolitical trends have venerated mother-
ing, particularly among European American, middle- and upper-class,
278 JOURNAL OF MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELING

able-bodied, married, heterosexual women while disapproving of other

mothers who do not fit with this profile (Gillespie, 2003; Morell, 2000).

The Experience of Stigmatization

Despite some acceptance and even admiration for remaining childfree,
all nine women also reported the experience of being pitied, criticized, or
in other ways stigmatized for being childfree. For the purpose of this
study, stigmatization was conceptualized broadly and along a continuum
from relatively milder incidents of dismissal to more severe experiences
of reprobation. This stigmatization took several forms that were classified
into five categories. Similar to Byrne’s (2000) findings, the women in the
current investigation were (a) often discounted when it came to discus-
sions focused on children and (b) sometimes expected to compensate by
working extra hours. In addition to these, three other categories emerged
during analysis, including: (c) being considered weird or abnormal and, as
a subset, being subjected to others’ disbelief and shock, (d) being pitied,
and (e) experiencing discrimination.
In sum, all nine women reported experiencing some degree of stigmati-
zation due to their being childfree. These experiences ranged from subtle
but persistent questions from family members, co-workers, and strangers
to more blatant expressions of shock, dismay, pity, and sympathy. In some
cases, women reported having their sanity questioned and some were dis-
criminated against or observed such discrimination.
It may be theorized that women who choose not to have children chal-
lenge the pronatalist ideology that juxtaposes woman with mother and
leaves little room for those who choose not to live these bounds. On a fun-
damental level, women opting out of mothering challenges the ideology
of the institution of parenting, calling into question the rigidity of gender
roles, of what women are supposed to covet, and of the sociopolitical, reli-
gious, and familial idealism of creating the next generation.

DISCUSSION

In this study, I examined both the phenomenological experiences

underlying women’s choices not to have children as well as the ways that
voluntarily childfree women experience others’ reactions to their choice
not to have children. As detected in the participants’ narratives, the
women in the study identified a broad range of reasons for their decisions,
ranging from early childhood factors such as trying on and rejecting the
motherhood role, as with play activities, to dissatisfaction with and disin-
terest in childcare activities. While the experiences of women who choose
not to have children and those who do are arguably similar, it is in the
Mollen /CHILDFREE WOMEN 279

meaning ascribed to the experiences that women who choose not to

become mothers differ from their peers who do. Noted in their narratives
is a sense of gender rebellion, an awareness of what is expected from
them as women, and a refusal to live within these bounds.
When the narratives shifted to examining more present-day reasons for
remaining childfree, the participants offered a myriad of freedoms they
enjoy. Being able to devote ample time and energy to relationships,
career, leisure time, and self-care held considerable appeal. A conceptual-
ization of parenting as directing time and effort away from their own
development was evident in many of the participants’ narratives. While
research support has been found for the perception that childfree women
are viewed largely as selfish (Byrne, 2000; Letherby, 2002; Park, 2002), the
participants also offered environmental, health-related, and safety con-
cerns that contributed to their decision not to have children. Their choice
not to have children can be conceptualized as a complex decision marked
by an array of factors that include reactions to common developmental
experiences, a heightened perception of the costs associated with mother-
ing, systemic concerns related to the larger environment, and a desire to
devote resources to endeavors outside the purview of parenting.
The participants collectively reported the experience of stigmatization
with considerable regularity. Often this took the form of largely subtle but
still-hurtful remarks, questions, and assumptions. Participants shared
experiences of being slighted, like when friends and relatives dismissed
their interest in their own children because of the participants’ choice not
to have children themselves. In some cases, the childfree women reported
being queried about their normalcy by strangers, friends, and their thera-
pists; were expected to work longer hours or more inconvenient shifts;
and were refused sterilization for fear they would change their minds
about having children later. The phenomenological experience of stigma
among the childfree women in this study supports previous findings that
childfree people are regarded by others with skepticism and distrust (e.g.,
La Mastro, 2001; Letherby, 2002). One possible explanation for stigmatiz-
ing responses is that childfree women may pose a perceived threat to peo-
ple who choose to have children, as they have chosen a lifestyle in con-
trast to one that includes children. Another bespeaks the power of the
mothering role, so that those who eschew this identity call into question
what it means to be a woman, especially in pronatalist cultures.
There were several strengths embedded in the current study that bear
mention at this juncture. First, although the participants were essentially
racially homogenous, they reflected some of the other important compo-
nents of diversity, including age, class, and sexual orientation. This was
essential especially to counter the widely held belief that childfreedom is
280 JOURNAL OF MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELING

an issue among well-educated, wealthy women (Morell, 2000). Second,

the use of the tripartite method for collecting the women’s narratives con-
tributes to the study’s validity, as support for themes was derived from
multiple sources. The use of participant journals was particularly useful in
gleaning information that might have otherwise been difficult for partici-
pants to broach in the interviews and focus group. Third, the study
allowed the women to meet together in a supportive environment which
served not only as a compelling instrument for data collection but also as
a means to connect and to speak candidly about a topic that seldom gets
adequate attention in their daily lives. In fact, some of the participants
voiced their appreciation for finally having an outlet through which to
explore and examine their experiences as childfree women.
As with all research, the current study has limitations to be considered.
First, all but one of the participants was European American.
Additionally, the sample was limited to those living in one Midwest state.
Secondly, this study limited participation only to women who voluntarily
chose not to have children. While this restriction was intentional, the
study did not contribute to the important literature on women childfree
by circumstance or those affected by infertility. Third, participants were
limited to women and their experiences, as opposed to those involving
men or inclusive of other important players in the women’s lives.
Future research concerning how women and men make choices about
their reproduction is important in light of the substantial impact child-
birth and rearing has on people’s lives. Additionally, how couples negoti-
ate the decision to have children or not and studies of only men who have
chosen not to have children might well uncover much additional data.
Studies that explore counselors’ attitudes toward working with childfree
women could also add to the burgeoning literature in this area. Finally,
given the substantial rate of unplanned pregnancy in the United States
(Brown & Eisenberg, 1995), it is hoped that more programmatic research
be developed to aid in the quest for intentional, enthusiastic parenting
and that not having children be a viable option for whomever exercises it.

SUGGESTIONS FOR MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELORS

Both because of the current pronatalist culture and because most

developmental models include childbearing and rearing as normal com-
ponents of adulthood, counselors may unwittingly bring with them a host
of assumptions and judgments about women who choose not to have chil-
dren. These suggestions, developed from the participants’ narratives, the
author’s clinical experiences, and the extant literature documenting child-
free women’s experiences, are offered with this in mind.
Mollen /CHILDFREE WOMEN 281

Accept voluntarily childfree women as normal. Assume that women

without children are not necessarily deviant, unhappy, unfulfilled, dissat-
isfied, or abnormal. Be mindful of, and willing to challenge assumptions
about, women who choose not to have children. For example, as the data
indicate, women who make this choice come from all types of family sys-
tems, including healthy ones. Help women who choose not to have chil-
dren develop their voice around the reasons for their decision and recog-
nize that there may be compelling and unselfish reasons (i.e., concerns
regarding overpopulation) not to have children. Accept women as whole
in and of themselves.
Work with women who have not yet chosen whether or not to have chil-
dren in order to explore and clarify this decision in ways that embrace
multiple lifestyles and not solely biological parenting. Be cognizant of the
many options for parenting facing women today, including adoption, fos-
ter parenting, surrogate/social parenting, and voluntary childfreedom.
Help childfree women manage the stigma they may experience because
of their choice. Work toward empowering them to negotiate relationships
with others, to answer questions from others in ways that are most com-
fortable for them, including refusing to answer at all, and to avoid inter-
nalizing stigma.
Embrace feminist therapy tenets such as empowerment and conscious-
ness-raising to help structure therapy with women struggling with the role
of mothering in their lives (Enns, 2002). Encourage women wrestling with
the parenting decision to think critically and act purposefully. Support
healthy skepticism and questioning, and provide a safe environment for
exploring perceptions about and attitudes toward gender roles. Reframe
the pathology of the voluntarily childfree woman as pioneering and trail-
blazing.
Invite couples to explore the issue of parenting in treatment. Where
conflict exists around the decision to become parents, help each individ-
ual to be heard and understood. Encourage couples to think deeply and
realistically about the decision to parent. Help couples explore the emo-
tional, financial, and pragmatic ramifications of choosing to become par-
ents. Support alternative approaches to traditional parenting, including
adoption, surrogacy, social parenting, and not parenting.
Becoming aware of the ways established developmental theories have
ignored or pathologized adults who eschew parenting is an important first
step in working with childfree adults. As the choices surrounding parent-
ing continue to increase, mental health counselors are encouraged to con-
sider the ways that they assess, diagnose, and treat clients who choose
nontraditional paths. Remaining receptive to the many options afforded
282 JOURNAL OF MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELING

to adults in the area of parenting is judicious given the growth of alterna-

tives to traditional family systems.

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