Brielle Buss Capstone Final Journal Reflection

December 20th, 2023

For my capstone project, I had to research almost all of the information I was looking for. I was
trying to uncover the raw and real perspectives of addiction and how it can impact all aspects of
life. One of the most important things I took away from all my research is that everyone is born
with addictive traits, it just depends on whether they are brought out in life by things such as
drugs or alcohol. I researched three main components, how addiction works, how addiction
works inside the brain, and I constructed questions to ask two recovered addicts. These addicts
gave personal insight and shared stories on how they grew addicted to their drug of choice. They
both had many similarities and differences between them. This allowed me to learn that although
an individual is classified as an addict, it does not mean their stories are going to be the same. As
I researched deeper into the similarities and differences of addiction, I discovered that all addicts
share the same characteristics. There are signs someone can look out for if they’re ever
concerned for a friend or family member using drugs or substances. Causes are typically similar
between addicts, too. There are three main causes of addiction that are the most common among
all addicts, genetics, mental health, and environmental surroundings. These determine how a
person grows up and what they are exposed to during their youth. Unfortunately, addiction is
common and almost everyone knows someone who either recovered or lost their life due to an
overdose. Some of the most interesting things I have ever researched is how addiction works
inside the human brain. I was beyond fascinated by how it works and how addiction affects a
human physically. The brain has a pleasure circuit and is responsible for remembering what
kinds of things individuals like. This allows pleasurable activity to be repeated. When a drug is
reputedly exposed to the brain, the brain remembers only having feelings of relaxation and
pleasure when the drug is present in the body. The individual will slowly start to lose interest in
things they may have enjoyed before due to the drug not being present. This is what drives the
individual to take the drug again, and again. While interviewing the two recovered addicts, I
learned that addiction does in fact affect everyone in your life. The recovered addicts explain
how they have lost their family’s trust, lost good friends, and even had lost themselves. Some
things I learned about my skill set is that I am not good at managing my time. I struggled to
complete this project on time and hand everything in. I did not find the work itself challenging,
but the motivation to do it was hard to find. It would come and go and would be difficult to
maintain sometimes. I would work on this project for hours at a time, and then not think about it
for days, even more than a week. I already knew this about myself, but I learned how badly it can
affect me if I don’t do something to try to fix it. I know that I am capable of handing assignments
in on time if I find the motivation to do so. I am hopeful that I can improve this for the next and
final semester of my high school experience. Another thing I learned about my skill set is that I
am not good at adapting to change. I find change difficult and when obstacles are thrown my
way, I become defeated and have trouble bringing myself back to where I was before. I learned
that I work best when I am at home in a non-stress provoking environment. I’m easily distracted
by things such and found it difficult a lot of the time to stay on track while I was working on
parts of this project while in school. I get my best work done when I am in a quiet place by
myself. I also work well when I have a list or schedule to base things off. This helps me keep
organized and reduces my stress levels.
Being able to research into the raw and real perspective of addiction was relevant to me
because of how passionate I am. Not only do I have extreme passion for topics such as addiction,
but I have had many family members and friends struggle with it. This helped me see how brutal
it can really be at a young age. I was exposed to drugs and alcohol when I was only a child and
found myself comparing myself to others based on how often they encountered drugs and
alcohol. I assumed it was normal to have seen your parents drunk multiple times throughout
childhood, but many of my friends couldn’t relate to my experiences. Not that my parents are
alcoholics, but they have always had addictive traits and never hid the fact that they like to drink
or smoke. More of my extended family has suffered from addiction. My mom's cousin, who was
one of the people I interviewed, suffered from a cocaine addiction. His sister also suffered from a
cocaine addiction. They are both recovered. On the other hand, my dad’s cousin overdosed a few
years back. We would go see my dad’s family every boxing day and I can remember the smell of
his grandfather's house because it smelt of cigarettes. My own grandparents suffer from
addiction as well. I have grown up constantly being around the dangers and seeing the raw and
real perspective that I want others to see, too. My capstone project is relevant to the school
because within my own high school, there is addiction. The number of students I know who have
a nicotine addiction increases every year I’ve been in high school. Due to my research, I know
that nicotine addictions may only escalate to a more intense drug or substance one day. I know
that some students have already began to rely on drugs, the most popular one being marijuana. I
set out to target people my age in specific because I know that addiction will only continue to
increase among teens and young adults. I do not want to receive a message in only a few years
that one of my high school friends has passed away due to an overdose. I want to ensure that
people my age aren’t afraid to reach out if they’re struggling because there is always a way to
help. Not only do people my age need to know there’s always help, but the community in general
as well. This project is relevant to the community because addiction is a huge problem in society.
Even if you don’t believe it, you see addiction everywhere. Addiction is not only consumption of
a drug or substance but can be found in all areas of life. The most popular addiction isn’t even
drugs or alcohol, it is gambling. I believe in raising addiction awareness and not necessarily
preventing drugs and alcohol, but allowing others to know there are safe places to go if they find
themselves suffering.
Before starting my capstone, I knew that this project would impact me. The project
contributed to the way I view my own life and gave me a sense of gratefulness. The part of this
project that impacted me the most was when I attended Narcotics Anonymous. Physically being
able to be there allowed me to hear all these different perceptions and opinions on situations I
had never even imagined myself in. Addicts were just grateful to have a bed with warm blankets
and a roof over their heads at night. They were thankful that they could still be in this world and
reconnect with their family and make new friends. They were just simply happy to be alive. One
woman explained that she needs to make the conscious decision every day to not revert to her
old lifestyle and to embrace her new one. She said that when you start to pick out the good things
from your day opposed to the bad, you can become an overall happier person. This stuck with
me because I always focused on the negatives. I look back at my day and become upset with
myself for the things I did not do. I know that if I spent more time focusing on the things that I
did do, I would be less stressed and feel as if I accomplished more. Another woman said that one
is too many, but a thousand is never enough. She was referencing drugs. I remember what she
said because people are always wishing they had more, or less of something. No one is ever
happy with what they have. This goes back to finding things to be grateful for instead of finding
things that went wrong in your day. My capstone taught me that perspective does matter, and I
need to be more grateful for what I have.
There were several aspects to my capstone project. I am proud of myself for completing
all of it, but I am mostly proud of myself for organizing interviews. This was the biggest part of
my documentary and capstone. A lot of thought was needed to pick two individuals. I was
searching for recovered addicts, preferably finding addicts who were addicted to different
substances or drugs. I also wanted these addicts to be well-recovered, so they were able to
answer all the questions I created. I wanted to know of these people, so they felt more
comfortable while answering. The questions I created were personal and I wanted to make sure I
would get the most information possible regarding the topic of recovery. When the two
individuals were chosen, I arranged times that we could call on the phone. I sent them the
questions prior to the interview so they could think about their answers beforehand. When the
time came to call my first interviewer, I was nervous. I ended up figuring out a way to record our
phone conversation clearly enough to put into my documentary a voice recording. By the time
the second interviewer came along, I knew what to expect and was better prepared. I am proud of
how the documentary turned out overall. I did not have very much experience with editing prior
to creating my documentary but the final product turned out better than expected.
The biggest difficulty I faced while working on my capstone was my ability to do the
work. I have a bad habit of procrastinating and this project was unfortunately handed in late. I
found that often things would get in the way such as my outside of school activities or staying
caught up in my other classes this semester. It was hard for me to balance the workload and
manage all the assignments constantly being handed out. I also struggled with not thinking any
of the work I was doing was good enough. I would complete an assignment for capstone such as
a blog journal but find myself redoing it three more times until I was happy with it. I felt a lot of
pressure while doing this project trying to make every part of it perfect in my eyes. My time
management with this project was terrible. I tried to lay out a schedule and it would work
sometimes, but other times I’d become distracted and want to do something else. Since we were
assigned this project in September, and it wasn’t due until December, I didn’t even start until I
started getting harassed by teachers and my parents about it. I kept thinking to myself that I had
lots of time, not realizing how much research and planning would be required. This was a
problem that I tried to overcome but failed. I would plan out what I was going to work on for the
week, but only end up getting half of it done. I started to skip my competitive dance practices
after school to be able to work on my capstone project. I would stay up late hours of the night
and wake up early in the morning to be able to fit in time to do extra homework for my other
classes. This was not ideal and the things I had to do to overcome the obstacle of my lack of
motivation affected my grades in other classes and put me farther behind in my dances. Another
thing that I thought was difficult while doing my capstone was learning how to use the editing
app. I would become so frustrated with it that I would shut off my laptop entirely and go to sleep.
Although I am proud of the outcome, the app would glitch and lag as it became longer and
longer. It was hard to insert clips and videos and I did not enjoy it. Once I got the hang of it, I
would get less frustrated when something would glitch or not go my way. Having to adjust the
volume of the background music to be able to hear my voice was a pain. I dislike editing. To
overcome the troubles I was having, I would take a short break to calm myself down and work
on something else capstone related in the meanwhile. I knew that with more and more practice,
the editing process would eventually become easier, and I just had to be patient.
If I could change one thing about my project, it would be the way I showcase the
interviews in the documentary. As much as I love how the interviews turned out, they could have
been represented in a more attention-grabbing way. They were the focus of the documentary, so I
hope it comes across that way to others. The two interviews I completed were put inside the
documentary as voice recordings. In the background there are videos of landscapes and scenery.
If I had planned further ahead and given myself more time, I wish I could have filmed these clips
myself. The clips are from online and although they work perfectly fine, it would have been
cooler to have my own videos playing during the interviews. My original idea was to have three
to five people to interview, but I am glad I only got two people. I also should have gotten my
mentor more involved and gotten more of an outsider's insight on my project. I sort of judged
everything myself and adjusted things to the way I thought they should be. It may have been
helpful to have my mentor assist me when I first began the editing process, so it wouldn’t have
been so frustrating for me.
If I could give future advice to students about to start their capstone journey, it would be
to stay on top of the work. The biggest mistake I made was not planning and doing the
assignments as they were being handed out to me. I would suggest making a schedule to follow
over the course of the next few months. This schedule could include the times and days you’d
complete a section of your capstone. I believe if you spread out the work and do it over the
course of three months, it will be less stressful in the end. Future students should keep in mind
that they will have other classes that they need to stay on top of as well. Some students will have
finals or exams around the same time their capstone project is due. To ensure you can show your
best ability in each class, work on your capstone throughout the three months. There is a reason
that students are provided with that long period of time to complete their capstone, it’s not a
small and easy assignment to do. It involves a lot of effort and time and if you are not willing to
give those things, you will not do well on your capstone. Another thing that is important is
making sure that the topic you choose is relevant to more than just one aspect of your life.
Students are required to find the importance behind their project and provide reasoning as to why
it matters. Make sure you pick something that matters to you. I didn’t have trouble finding
reasons as to why my capstone project is relevant to me, but I know others who found it
challenging. If you pick a topic that resonates with you deeply, it will be much easier to complete
most of the assignments.