In the m d WISDOM
LIFE AS I KNOW IT
A matter of opinion
Harriet Minter finds herself in the business of other people’s business
Is it just me, or has
the world gone a
little mad recently?
I started to feel it
as lockdown eased
at the beginning of the year. People
who had spent two years feeling
as though they had been stopped
in their tracks suddenly hit
warp-speed on their lives. There
were breakups and divorces, new
relationships and babies, jobs
lost, and new businesses started.
Things which might have taken
years of considered thought and
planning previously happened in
moments. But these huge life
decisions aren’t the madness
I’m referring to. No, it’s the little
moments of madness that worry
me, and they seem to be all around.
It’s the woman who leant on her
horn for a full minute when I stalled
my car at the traffic lights. It’s a
friend who maxed out a credit card
for her dream holiday, even though
she was struggling to pay her rent.
It’s my ex-boyfriend, who needs
a job but can’t bring himself to
actually apply for any. It’s every
single politician opining on
trans-rights but not having a single
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word to say about the cost of living
crisis. Everywhere I look, it seems
as though old-fashioned common
sense has been abandoned in
favour of… what? What are we all
gaining from this collective mania?
I don’t know the answer, but I do
know the impact that it’s having
on me. I’m becoming increasingly
timid in my behaviour. I’ve started
imitating my grandparents and
ending every day with a turn
around my flat, where I switch off
each electrical item at the source.
When my kettle exploded the other
day I took two weeks to replace it
because ‘surely I can just boil water
on the hob?’ A routine trip to a
friend’s house outside of London
saw me checking the train times
obsessively right up until departure,
and then tutting loudly at the lack
of air conditioning in my carriage.
Most of all, a little judgemental
voice has started playing in my
brain, picking up on other people’s
decisions and dissecting them.
I am about two more world crises
away from becoming ‘Disgusted
of Tunbridge Wells’.
I’ve done enough therapy to
know what’s going on here. I’m
feeling destabilised and, rather
than just sitting with that feeling,
I’m finding all sorts of other things
to focus on instead. I’m sticking my
nose into other people’s business
so I don’t have to look too closely
at my own. Mainly, I’m deciding
that everyone else is mad, because
I don’t want to have to ask myself
if, in fact, I might be a little less sane
than is normal, too. And this is why
going to therapy can ruin your life.
Right now, I’d love to just proclaim
that the whole world is mad and
leave it there – but I can’t. Instead, I
have to sit down and work out what
I need to feel secure in a world that
feels anything but. And then I need
to put my opinions on other people’s
lives down and let them get on with
it. Oh God, this is going to hurt.
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IMAGE: MARK HARRISON. HAIR AND MAKE-UP: CAROLINE PIASECKI.
STYLIST: KATE ANYA BARBOUR
19/07/2022 13:20