Chapter 04 The Self

Answering The Question “Who Am I”?

CHAPTER 04

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

Do We Show Our Real Self?

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

ONLINE vs. OFFLINE

Facebook Profile: Reflect “Ideal Self” rather than “Actual Self”

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]
Importance of Social Networking Sites !
Social Sites have helped us to form our Social Self
 For Whom We have Never Meet (Strangers)
 Marketing Companies (Know Customer Insights)
 Recruitment Companies (Hiring Purpose)
 Education Purposes (Admissions)
 Engagement/Marriage Purposes

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

We Sometimes Withhold Crucial Information
 Current Job (or Past Job, If History is not good)
 Relationship Status
 Limited information sharing (Privacy Settings)

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

In Different Context we present ourselves differently
 Online & Offline World
 Family Circle
 Friends Circle
 Professional Circle
 Strangers

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

SELF PRESENTATIONS:
MANAGING THE SELF IN DIFFERENT SOCIAL CONTEXT
William Shakespeare Said in his Play “ As You Like It”

“All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely
players”
A human being plays many different roles in his/her life.

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

Who is more accurate in predicting our
behavior:

OURSELVES
OR
OTHERS WHO KNOW US WELL

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

Self-Other Accuracy in Predicting Our
Behavior
 We think we are better at knowing ourselves:
Because we have access to our internal mental state i.e Feelings,
Thoughts, Aspirations and Intentions

Others May not know that!

That’s why we ourselves predict better, is it true?

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

But Research says something else:
For Example:
Your friend is chronically late, more than half an hour late,
frequently. But could she label herself LATE.
She knows the intention that I have to meet with friends- so she
put her efforts to achieve goal of o ‘being on time’
This information can lead her to believe that she is mostly on
time! (She will recall a few instances when she is on time)

(In this domain Others can predict her behavior right)

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

 CONCLUSION

Sometimes we predict ourselves better than

others, but not always! Reverse is true also

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

Social Existence of Self is Always Remembered!

Why not to make it very much impactful ???

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]
 Little Expressive in Real World But More
Expressive in Virtual World

Facebook has enhanced the level of interaction

to all the different levels.
Shy vs. Non Shy

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

SELF PRESENTATION TACTICS
1. Self Promotion
2. Self-Verification Perspective
3. Ingratiation
4. Self-Deprecating

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

1. Self Promotion
Present ourselves to others as having a positive
attributes.
 Credentials: Grades, Awards, Degrees, Membership
 Tell the event attended (Concerts, International Conferences,
Countries visited etc)
 Books Read (Fiction, Non Fiction etc)

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

2. Self Verification Perspective
Theory that addresses the processes by which we lead
others to agree with our views of ourselves, wanting
others to agree with how we see ourselves.

We prefer to be close with others who verify our views!

(Verify Self Views)

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

For Example:
1. If you see yourself as extraverted, you want others to see
you as extravert.
2. A person’s belief that he/she is intelligent, make others to
see him/her as intelligent .
3. If you see yourself poor at math skills, shy and introvert,
make others to think in same way !

(Verify Positive Self Views)

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

The real limits to this effect !
If you see yourself as “disorganized”  Their desire is to
“Other people also see you as disorganized”

But

The Self Enhancement Push you to opposite direction:

“Assure people see yourself as organized person”

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

3. Ingratiation
When we try to make others like us by conveying that we
like them; Praising others to flatter them.

 It’s quite effective, unless overdo (May lead to suspicions)

 In return respect and they will praise you, also!
For Example:
◦ Express admiration of their achievements
◦ Exaggerate their positive attributes ignore their negative attributes
◦ Tell good things about him/herself.

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

4. Self Deprecating (Depreciation)
Putting ourselves down or implying that we are not as good
as someone else.
 To reduce the perceive status, importance and value
 Lessen oneself, criticizing oneself.

People deliberately demean themselves to lower audience

expectations of our abilities.  And Let results speak

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

For Example:
If your boss gives you work and its deadline is very near!

Say to the boss: You know “My Mind Processor Is Slow,

Nyle’s mind is fast”
By little self depreciation you can keep the expectations of your boss and
colleagues in check. And you make sure your coworkers and employer aren’t
expecting too much.
At the end when you completed a day before deadline or on due date,
everyone will praise.

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

SELF KNOWLEDGE:
DETERMINING WHO ARE WE
SOURCES OF GAINING SELF KNOWLEDGE:

1. Introspection (To Directly Analyze Ourselves)

2. The Self From Other’s Standpoint (To Take Observer Perspective
on Self)

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

1. Introspection
Latin word: Intro= within ; Spect=Look

Meaning: Looking Within/ Inward

Examination of one’s own conscious thoughts, feelings and

perceptions. “Self Observation”

Purpose : To Discover the Internal Causes of Behavior

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

Understand the Cause of Behavior
I want to know why I become very much emotional. I
want to know whether I’m a sentimental person.??
I can look inward and ask myself how I generally feel
at weddings, college graduations, and other
occasions that are relevant to sentimentality. If I feel
soft and warm on these occasions, I conclude that I
am a sentimental person.

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

Example (Introspection)
Suppose you are happy and in the state of happiness you look within yourself.

It’s said you’re introspecting your own mental feelings and examining what is going on in your
mental process in the state of happiness. Similarly for state of anger or fear.

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

 Why Isn’t Introspection Always Beneficial ?
Introspection May Mislead Us!
“Many of our behaviors are guided by unconscious desires
rather than conscious one”

 Why you like your girlfriend or boyfriend ?

 Conscious reasons can be: Physical attractiveness, Way how
he/she see things, laughs, and Dress.
 Emotional Factors can be cause of the behavior BUT….

 But the real reason for our behavior may not be accessed!

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

 “We are not good at predicting future feelings”
For Example: If person is currently going though the terrible
tragedy, and person is thinking how we will feel 1 Year after the
event.
 Person’s focus will be exclusively on the awfulness of that
event and neglect all the factor that may contribute to
happiness.
 He will predict that they will feel even worse condition as
future arrives

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

Same Case with Positive Event
 Person’s focus will be exclusively on the
Pleasantness of that event and neglect all the factor
that may contribute to sadness.
 He will predict that they will feel even better
condition as future arrives.

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

“Spending Money on Others vs Ourselves”
Most people believe that spending money on themselves
will make them happier than spending the same on others.

But Research suggests: Spending on others will give you

more satisfaction and happiness

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

The Self From Other’s Standpoint
Attempt to learn by taking an “Observer Perspective”

They have noticed over behavior in different

contextual settings, so they will more accurately
predict our behavior.

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

Actor vs. Observer
As Actor: We direct our attention to outwardly,
and tend to attribute more situational causes
for their behavior.
As Observer: Perceive the behavior as being
due to their dispositions (e.g., ability,
personality)

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

 WHO AM I?: Personal Vs. Social Identity

Personal End Identity: Continuum (Scale) Social End

We think
We think of ourselves as
ourselves member of
Primarily as specific
Individual social group

We perceive over selves differently at any given point

In time, depending on where we are on continuum Groups can be:
Social Class, Family,
Football team
FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY] Friends
We perceive others and ourselves based on both unique
characteristics and our membership in various groups

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

PERSONAL IDENTITY:

 Liberal/Conservative
 Introvert
 Self Directed
 Self Motivated
 Pragmatic

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

SOCIAL IDENTITY:

 Pakistani
 Sukkur IBAins
 Muslim/Hindu/Other
 Languages
 Political Affliations
 Gender Roles

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

Social Identity Theory:
Addresses how we respond when our group identity is
salient (Prominent):
Suggest that
We will move closer to positive others with whom we share
an identity
but
Distance from other ingroup members who perform poorly
or otherwise make social identity negative.

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

 How we categorize the Nature of
self in relation to others Experience of Self
Comparison

Intra group Comparison As an

Personal Identity - Different from Ingroup Individual
Members

Intergroup Comparison
Social Identity – Different from Outgroup As a
Members member
of a group

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

Social Comparison
 Intra group comparisons:
Judgments that result from comparisons between individuals who
are members of the same group. [We exaggerate similarities in
own group]
 Intergroup comparisons:
Judgments that result from comparisons between our group and
another group. [We exaggerate Differences in other groups]

Sec A vs. B (One claim we are Smart thinkers & Extrovert- but
other section is not Poor Thinkers & Introvert.

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

The Self Across Time: Past & Future Selves
Autobiographical Memory: “All memories related to your life”
By comparing our present selves with out past selves  And
we feel good about ourselves to the extent that we perceive
improvement over time.

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

Autographical Memory
From the moment of birth, each of us is
exposed to a world full of sensations and
information. All of these experiences—first
school, vacations spent with family, summer
visits, familiar places, sad farewell and so on.
Have the potential to end up as
autobiographical memories.

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

Generally when people are asked to write two memorable
events : (One Praiseworthy & Other Blameworthy)

Praiseworthy Event Recent Experiences

Blameworthy Event Past Experiences

Quote From
Recent Experience?
Or
Past Experiences ?
FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]
Possible Selves
Cognitive sense of self
Positive Possible Future Self: Attaining a desired
positive self
Negative Possible Future Self: Fear of Becoming
undesired self

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

Positive Possible Future Self:
For Example:
A student who likes video games might have a hoped-for possible
self as a highly successful video game programmer.
She might be more likely to work hard in her algebra class if she
saw the connection between attaining the desired possible self and
the skills she would learn in algebra.

You may forgo enjoyable activities to achieve the goal of becoming!

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

 Negative Possible Future Self:
For Example:
If a student has a feared possible self of having a job
they dislike, he may be motivated to work hard and
put forth effort to avoid such a future.

Thinking about possible selves can increase a person's motivation

to put forth effort to attain specified goals.
FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]
Self Control: Why It Can Be Difficult to Do
Self Control: Choosing to do what is right when I feel like
doing wrong.
*Focus is on achieving long term goals.

i.e “Diet Plan”  Weight Control

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

Ego Depletion
Ego depletion is the idea that the decision-making
process in your brain, particularly when you are going
against your preferences but has limited strength or
resources.

Diminished capacity to apply subsequent self control.

i.e One person want to quit smoking but his brain is not allowing him
to do that.
FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]
FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]
Self-Esteem
A person’s overall self-evaluation or sense of self
worth.
 Faith & Confidence in oneself
 Subjective Appraisal of oneself
 Self Acceptance
Personal Evaluation of own worth (Positive or
Negative)

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

Self Esteem: Attitudes Toward Ourselves
The degree to which we perceive ourselves positively or
negatively; Our overall attitude towards ourselves. It can be
measure explicitly or Implicitly.

Self-esteem can change readily in response to social situations.

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]
Low Self-Esteem High Self-Esteem

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

People Who are:
High vs. Low Self Esteem
Feeling good about People often take a negative view
themselves and relate things of everything related to them.
with them positively They notice & remember others
worst behaviors with them.

Express: Express:
Anger
Excitement
Anxiety, Fear & Frustration
Gratitude
Sadness, Irritability
Happiness.
FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]
FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]
 Negative Attitude (Low Self Esteem)

Low self-esteem individuals reacted to “Self-doubt”

with heightened doubts.
FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]
Positive Attitude (High Self Esteem)

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

When we reflect upon our achievements  Self
Esteem Increases

When reflecting all the time on failure  People

also start criticizing you  And it will harms your
Self Esteem

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

Measurement of Self Esteem
Explicitly Measured Self Esteem:
i.e I am worthwhile person. I can do everything.
(Likert Scale)

But over past few decades, the indirect or implicit

measure emerged:

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

Implicit Self Esteem:
“Unconscious evaluation of oneself“ and objects closely
associated with oneself.
i.e Feelings about the self of which we are not consciously
aware.
i.e You unconsciously favor people who are self motivated.
If individual experience a high self esteem, they should exhibit
the positive attitude toward anything associated with
themselves.

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

Implicit Self Esteem
Name Liking Effect: Individual with high self esteem tend to like
their own name.
Implicit Association Test: Individuals with a high self esteem
tend to associate words that relate to themselves with positive
words.
Genius  It’s me!
Professional  It’s me!
Good Looking  It’s me!
Lazy  It’s You!

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

What comes in your mind !

Work
Gun
Anger
Defeat
Afraid
(Or Use these words in sentences)
FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]
Thematic Apperception Test

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]
High Self Esteem become problematic:

If it crosses over into narcissism or

having a inflated sense of self.

Always praising own self

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

 Do Women and Men Differ in Their Levels
of Self Esteem?
In our society generally women have bit lower self esteem than
men, because here we found male dominated society which confines
the women desires to do anything, on her free will.

Working women may

Have high self esteem

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

But Even though there are
many women around us-
High Self Esteem.
She may be sitting next to you!

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

Social Comparison:
How We Evaluate Ourselves ?
Social Comparison Theory
People compare themselves to others to evaluate their self
worth.
Based on various traits:
- Mental or Physical Growth
- Appearance
- Knowledge
- Social Connections etc
[Leon Festinger’s ]
FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]
Comparison
1. Upward Comparison
2. Downward Comparison

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

Upward Comparison
A comparison of the self to another who
does better than or is superior to us.
You > Me !
You are better….. !

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

Downward Comparison
A comparing of self to those who are not as
proficient as we are at a given task. (Inferior to
us)
Me > You
I am better !

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

Does this comparison
worth doing?

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

Do You Agree ?

Upward comparisons make people feel worse about

themselves!
and
Downward comparisons make them feel better!

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

Any link to Self Esteem
Both types of comparisons can be either
inspiring or dispiriting (disappointing)
For whom?
 Low Self Esteem
 High Self Esteem

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

Self Esteem + Comparison

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

Self Evaluation Maintenance Model
To Maintain a positive view of ourselves, we distance
ourselves from other who perform better and move
closer to others who perform worse than us!

Doing this will protect current self esteem level!

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

Self Serving Biases and Unrealistic Optimism
Many of us show “Above Average Effect”:
Generally we think we are better than the average
person on almost every dimensions imaginable.
 We ignore negative social feedback
 And emphasize on favored positive self perception

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

Self Serving Bias
 ATTRIBUTE POSITIVE OUTCOMES to the INTERNAL FACTORS
 ATTRIBUTE NEGATIVE OUTCOMES to EXTERNAL FACTORS

◦We resist to accept responsibility for negative outcomes!

◦We accept the responsibility for our successes!

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

Unrealistic Optimism
Most of people show unrealistic optimism when it comes
to their outcomes relative to others.

Seeing our chances for success in life slightly higher than

our peers’ chances.

 Unrealistic optimism is dangerous!

 Based on unrealistic evidences!

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

The Self as Target of Prejudice
Prejudice:
Prejudice is a baseless and typically negative attitude that an
individual can hold toward someone else, or toward the members
of a certain group.
 I don’t like John, because he eats meat.
When you’re prejudicing against own self (self esteem will hamper)
i.e I belong to Muslim community and I am not considered as good human. I feel bad
about myself!

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

 Stereotype Prejudice Discrimination

• Cognitive • Affective • Behavioral

• Feelings • Action

❶ Stereotype: Americans are less good at maths than Asians!

❷ Prejudice: I don’t like Americans!
❸ Discrimination: I will not hire American for the job!

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

Stereotype Threat
Scenario:
You are sitting down to take an important exam, perhaps a college entrance
exam. You have spent years preparing for this moment and you hope all your
studying will pay off over these next few hours of testing. With sharpened
pencils ready, you are first asked to fill in the appropriate bubble on the test
form that corresponds to your age and gender.
But filling out information about gender and age may affect your chances of
selection (Negative Stereotype)
 And you may react to this situation by not attempting a test with full
concentration. [Affect your performance]

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]

Chapter Completed 

FARHAN SHAHZAD [FACULTY MEMBER @ SUKKUR IBA UNIVERSITY]