Ticket Id:1736307

05 February 1997
Dr. Perry Dontal
Gum Specialist
10 Carpenter St
Newtown

Dear Dr. Dontal,

Re: Ms Rosie Buck, D.O.B: 22 July 1950

I am writing to refer Ms. Rosie Buck, a 47-year-old smoker, who presented with a complaint of post
crown pain around the tooth 11 caused by a deep pocket around the mesial surface of the tooth Commented [A1]: post-crown
11 suggestive of sever gingivitis, for confirmation of diagnosis and further treatment. Commented [A2]: severe

Ms. Buck is married with two children. Regarding her family history, her younger brother had Commented [A3]: was
diagnosed with cancer recently. She had given up smoking 7 years ago. She is allergic to local Commented [A4]: gave up
anaesthesia and penicillin.
On 01 July 1995. an initial examination revealed that Ms. Buck has had an amalgam and composite Commented [A5]: ,
fillings along with carious lesions in the teeth 16, 26, 24, 43 and 11. Moreover, she has sub-gingival Commented [A6]: ,
calculus around all the teeth and has worn biting surfaces on most of the teeth. Gross scaling and Commented [A7]: calculi
amalgam and composite fillings were done on subsequent visits. Commented [A8]: her
On 28 July 1995, root canal treatment on tooth 11 was started and erythromycin 250mg was
Commented [A9]: ,
prescribed. Root canal treatment was completed after 2 weeks and a post crown was inserted after
2 months along with fine scaling.
0n 05 February 1997, Ms. Buck presented with pain on and around post crown on the tooth 11. X- Commented [A10]: of
ray indicates a deep pocket on the mesial surface of the tooth 11. This tooth was sensitive to Commented [A11]: indicated
pressure.
Given the above, your assistance for confirmation of diagnosis and her treatment accordingly
would be appreciated.
Should there be any queries, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Yours sincerely,
Dentist

Report
Word Length 233
Comments 1. The Letter is too long. Try to write around 180 to 200
words.
2. The letter lacks conciseness, and clarity.
3. The purpose is not immediately apparent in the
introduction, but is clearly explained in the conclusion.
 Ticket Id:1736307

4. An attempt to organize the content logically is seen, but

order of information and paragraphing need
improvement in places.
5. In addition, there are many inaccuracies related to
vocabulary, basic grammar and sentence structure.
6. Overall, the letter needs improvement.
Estimated Grade C+
Estimated Score 310/500
Advice 1. Convey the purpose of the document generally in the
introduction.
2. Always read and select case notes carefully.
3. Avoid basic grammar errors.
4. Improve choice of words.
5. Improve the structure of sentences.
6. Improve coherence/paragraphing.
7. Always proofread the letter after finishing it.
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