Beware the Flatterer

Proverbs chapter 7

Proverbs 6:23-36 “For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of
instruction are the way of life: To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the
tongue of a strange woman. Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take
thee with her eyelids. For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of
bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life.”

Have you ever read the children’s story, Hansel and Gretel? My kids have a video that’s a
modern take on that classic story. In the movie the siblings end up lost in a forest after
their wicked stepmother turns them out.

After wandering in the forest for some time, Hansel and Gretel find a beautiful house
fashioned from gingerbread and decorated with the sweetest treats imaginable. As they
approach the house, a sweet elderly woman invites them in to take some rest and have
something to eat. On the surface, her intentions seem admirable. She just wants to help
these poor, lost children,

So they enter her house and what do they see? A table set with a feat fit for a king! And as
their eyes glaze over, they are consumed with their hunger to the exclusion of everything
else; and they eat with abandon. Yet, even as they eat, they begin to sense that something
isn’t right, yet their hunger is so pervasive that it blinds them to the danger they are facing,
and they go on eating.

After eating their fill, an irresistible urge to sleep overcomes them and they again ignore
their internal alarms, accepting an invitation from that dear, sweet woman to take bed for
the night. And their sleep comes so sweet…

But in the morning they find to their horror and surprise that the house which was once so
sweet is now cold and gray. And they have become prisoners to their own desires, soon to
be a meal for the gnarly old hag who once appeared to be their benefactor.
_________________

The story of Hansel and Gretel is a classic childhood story that serves to warn us not to let
our desires carry us where danger is sure to consume us.

Yet how many times have we heard the stories?

 A young child lured away by a stranger with the promise of some sweet treat – and
it ends up in tragedy.
  Or of the teenage girl that meets someone on the Internet and later ends up the
object of the morning news.

We warn our kids to watch out for strangers that might lure them away with candy, or
sweet words, or others enticements; and we do it because we know the deceptive danger of
that which sounds too good to be true. We know that all things are not as they appear, and
that there are those forces out there - forces of evil – that will do anything to satisfy their
own lusts – stop at nothing to steal away the innocence of the ones we love.

In 2 Corinthians chapter 2:11, the Apostle Paul tells us that Satan is out to take advantage
of us – to defraud us and use us for his own malevolent desires. And Paul tells us that we
are not ignorant of his devices.

In other words, we have knowledge of how the enemy works. We aren’t blind to the tricks
he uses and we have a full awareness of his scheming ways.

And that ought to be true for each of us, because God has exposed the ways of our enemy
and we can see how he operates in several ways.

We see it in the names the Word gives him…

 Satan – In the Hebrew means – opponent, arch enemy of good, adversary. And in the
Greek meaning the accuser.
 Devil – false accuser, slanderer
 god of this age – rules over the worldly system that is antithesis to all that is godly.

He’s called the dragon, the deceiver, the ruler of darkness, and the king of death. He’s
the wicked one, the tempter, a murderer, the father of lies, and he stalks us like a
roaring lion seeking its prey.

In the many names the Bible gives him, we can see what he is all about. And we can also
understand his methods as we see how he moves behind the scenes to sway the minds of
men and events in an attempt to thwart the grace of God.

 We can see it in the story of Job, as the devil sought to cause Job to blaspheme God
through destroying all that he held dear.
 We see it in 1 Chronicles chapter 21, verse 1, where the Bible says that “…Satan
stood up against Israel, and provoked (cuwth – meaning “to seduce or entice”)
David to number Israel.”
  And we can see it in John 13:2, which says, “And supper being ended, the devil
having now put into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, to betray him;”

There are many ways that the enemy of our souls seeks to destroy us, and the Word of God
encourages us to be fully aware of His trickery, lest we be caught in a snare and destroyed.
Ephesians 6:11 warns us to “Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand
against the wiles (methods - trickery) of the devil.”

Yet, in spite of the many warnings in Scripture, we are often prone to be like little Hansel –
so consumed by hunger that we are blind to obvious danger.

Such was the case with a young man in a story that Solomon shares with us in Proverbs
chapter 7. In this passage Solomon issues a warning to his son by sharing the tale of a
young man lacking wisdom and discernment, who was so consumed with hunger that he
was willing to sell himself to destruction.

His isn’t fairy tale story about a hunger for sweets and gingerbread houses, but it’s a tragic
tale of a man who listened to the flattery of a woman and was drawn into a web of deceit
and destruction. And Solomon, warns his son with this tale – a warning that we should all
heed – a warning to beware the flatterer.

Listen to the story… (Verses 6-23)

You know guys, one of the most powerful temptations that men face is sexual sin. And
there isn’t a man here, that hasn’t struggled with it in some way. Now, I know that most of
wouldn’t admit that in mixed company. We’d like to give the impression that this is not
our problem.

But sexual sin is probably one of the most pervasive of all the “silent sins” in the church
today. The licentious immorality of our society with it’s acceptance of all forms of sexual
expression is rubbing off on the church.

And statistics are proving it today.

In fact, a survey in which Christian men were asked to list the sins they struggled with
most revealed that sexual immorality of one type or another represented 62% of all the
responses.
What kind of sexual sins do Christian men struggle with? The truth is that many of the
same sins that unsaved men struggle with… We are tempted with the same thoughts and
feelings as the unsaved, and for some men, these temptations have translated into genuine
battles as they struggle with things like…pre-marital sex, adultery, sexual fantasies,
pornography, homosexuality, and self-gratification.
Listen, just because we are Christians doesn’t mean that we’re immune to the enticements
of the enemy and we must come to grips with this issue if we’re going to combat it.

Sexual sin can’t be confined to physical intimacy with someone other than your wife or
someone else’s wife. And though many would rather keep the definition of sexual sin
narrow, Jesus broadened the subject in the Sermon on the Mount; and this is what He had
to say in Matthew 5:27-28 “Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt
not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after
her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.”
_______________

In Proverbs chapter 7, Solomon tells us that the “Hansel” in his story was a young man
“void of understanding”. Simply put, he lacked wisdom. And he put himself in danger
without a thought for the consequences.

Maybe he thought that the darkness would cover it up.

Maybe he thought that her promises of a husband staying away were certain.

Notice how she enticed him to sin… Verse 13-20… “So she caught him, and kissed him,
and with an impudent face said unto him, I have peace offerings with me; this day have I
payed my vows. Therefore came I forth to meet thee, diligently to seek thy face, and I have
found thee. I have decked my bed with coverings of tapestry, with carved works, with fine
linen of Egypt. I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. Come, let us
take our fill of love until the morning: let us solace ourselves with loves. For the goodman
is not at home, he is gone a long journey: He hath taken a bag of money with him, and will
come home at the day appointed.”

Oh, how she inflamed his hunger. With her sweet lips she kissed him. And with her
persuasive words she lured him. She said, “I’ve been looking for you and I’ve prepared
my bed for you with sweet scents.” My husband is gone and we have all night to enjoy
each other.”

And verse 21says that… “With her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the
flattering of her lips she forced him.”

APPLICATION
How many Christian men (men right here in this room) are involved in some secret affair
with sexual sin? They think that the darkness will cover them. They think that no one will
see. Oh, they may not have another woman in their life - yet.
  It may be they are living a life of sexual fantasy with eyes that undress every woman
that walks by.
 It may be that they’ve got a secret stash of pornography that no one else knows
about – yet.
 It may be that even now, they are flirting with other women on the job, or at the
coffee shop, or in the grocery store.
 Or maybe, they’ve made a friend of a woman other than their own wife – you know,
“My wife just doesn’t understand me anymore” “She and I’ve grown so far apart”
So they strike up a friendship with another woman who “understands them”

Listen to me! If you are in a situation like this, you are in grave danger! You’re listening
to the flattery of the enemy!
The enemy, disguised in beauty and innocence, will whisper in your ear…
 “There’s no harm in a little skin flick now and then.”
 Theirs’ no harm in that close friendship with another woman!”
 There’s no harm in looking at that beautiful woman walking by… after all, you
aren’t touching her.
But God’s word sounds the clarion call “Danger! Danger!” The Holy Spirit shouts within
you “Danger! Danger!”

And you need to listen to that inner voice of the Holy Spirit warning you to stay away –
to turn away, to run away!
Oh, how sad it is to know of so many men, even men within our own ranks that have fallen
so far because they listened to the voice of the flatterer!
 How many have heard her siren call and the sweetness of her allure and been drawn
away?
 How many ministries, families, and churches have been deeply wounded, and even
shattered because one man listened to the voice of the flatterer?

Oh, if only we would Beware the Flatterer!

Solomon warns us in Proverbs chapter 5:3-5 “For the lips of a strange woman drop as an
honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil: But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp
as a twoedged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell.”

Solomon warns us to “Beware the flatterer!” for she’s just waiting to see who she can
entice to sin.
Little “Hansel” in Solomon’s story didn’t fare as well as the bedtime story character that
escaped the wicked witch. There was no “happy ending”. He doesn’t escape the danger in
some dramatic fashion in the end. No, but while he gives himself over to his hunger the
woman’s husband came home from his journey and caught them together, and in a jealous
rage he killed him.

Listen, not all sexual sin will have that kind of outcome, but one thing is certain – if you
dabble with sexual sin you can not grow to the potential that God has for you.

Sexual sin, like all other sins, is a sin of decline. It may start small – maybe in the mind
with seemingly benign fantasies. But soon the law of diminishing returns takes effect, and
those fantasies won’t be enough. Fantasy will turn to reality and that sin will flesh out in
your life.

Do you remember King David? His sin with Bathsheba didn’t first occur in the bed. It
happened on the rooftop when he lusted after her. He sinned when he looked at her with a
lustful eye and imagined all that he could have.

But soon that wasn’t enough to satisfy his inner hunger so he committed the act.
The warnings of Scripture tell us of a heavy toll to pay if we play with sexual sin. Proverbs
627-28 asks “Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can one go
upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned?
The message is clear – if you play with fire you WILL be burned.
As a footnote to Solomon’s tale, he issues a warning… “Beware the flatterer!”

Look at chapter 7:24-26 “Hearken unto me now therefore, O ye children, and attend to the
words of my mouth. Let not thine heart decline to her ways, go not astray in her paths. For
she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong men have been slain by her. Her
house is the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death.”

We are warned not to “let our hearts decline (or deviate) to her ways…”
 The road to sin is always a deviation from where we should travel to her ways; go
not astray in her paths.
“For she hath cast down many wounded…”
 She may have made this young man feel special, but he was just another notch in
her belt, just another trick, just another way to satisfy her own lusts – she used him)
“Yea, many strong men have been slain by her.”
 But he failed to see reality. Like Hansel in the children’s story, he was blinded by
his consuming passion and he could not see that her house was filled with the bones
of the others she had slain before.
 He could not see that her sweetened bed was a snare of affliction and that
destruction was the sure result of his infidelity. Her house wasn’t what it
appeared to be – sweet to the taste and satisfying to the appetite. No… but it was
“the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death.

What are the consequences of sexual sin?

Hansel and Gretel thought the gingerbread house looked and smelled so sweet. But it was
the house of death. Sexual sin may feel good, but it is always destructive in the end.
 Those images in magazines and videos may be appealing, but the women on those
pages aren’t real. And exposure to that can cause you to have expectations that your
wife can never live up to. In the long run they’ll ruin your sexual intimacy with
your spouse.
 Fantasize about another woman while being intimate with your wife may be
pleasing to the flesh, but it’s a form of adultery that keeps you from the loving your
wife for who God made her to be.
 That woman you’ve been talking to and sharing things with that you should only be
sharing with your wife, may be nice, compassionate and sweet, but she’ll be used
by the devil to destroy your home, your family, your faith, and your life!

Proverbs 5:20-23 says, “And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman,
and embrace the bosom of a stranger? For the ways of man are before the eyes of the
LORD, and he pondereth all his goings. His own iniquities shall take the wicked himself,
and he shall be holden with the cords of his sins. He shall die without instruction; and in
the greatness of his folly he shall go astray.”

Beware the Flatterer!

Author Chuck Colson writes: “I still remember my sadness on hearing that an old friend,
and someone I believed was a sincere Christian, was leaving his wife of many years. I was
shocked and disappointed. I wondered: How could this man, committed to both his spouse
and his Lord, fall in love with another woman?”
Sheldon Vanauken describes how a Christian friend named John shocked him by
announcing that he was leaving his wife to marry another woman. John explained his
sudden change of heart by saying, "It seemed so good, so right. That's when we knew we
had to get the divorces. We belonged together."
As Vanauken explains, John (was) "invoking a higher law: the feeling of goodness and
rightness. . . A feeling so powerful that it swept away. . . whatever guilt (he) would
otherwise have felt" for what (he) (was) doing to (his) family.”
Citation: "Why Christians Divorce: The Sanction of Eros," adapted from BreakPoint (February 17, 2000), copyright © 2000, reprinted with permission of
Prison Fellowship, P.O. Box 17500, Washington, D.C., 20041-0500, p. 8
Beware the Flatterer! Don’t allow yourself to be seduced by sexual sin. It may satisfy
something short term, but in the end it will only result in heartache for everyone.

Instead, strive for sexual purity. Pray for it. Desire it. Let me close with the Word of the
Lord from Proverbs 5:15-19 “Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters
out of thine own well. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the
streets. Let them be only thine own, and not strangers' with thee. Let thy fountain be
blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant
roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.”

God says be satisfied with your wife. Enjoy her and her alone. For she is His gift to you.