Study On Couples, Family & Children

Licensed to Rogelio Abarquez Baladjay - roger_baladjay@yahoo.
com - HP17016732356987
Licensed to Rogelio Abarquez Baladjay - roger_baladjay@yahoo.com - HP17016732356987
Couples, Family & Children Estudy

Many Chris an couples today are living outside of what God envisioned.
Constant figh ng, mutual disrespect and distance between the couple are
seen in many homes. And besides the unhappiness that this produces in
their hearts, there is s ll the issue of poor witnessing and the spiritual life
that is damaged.
This is a subject that deserves our a en on, because the principle of living
in unity is something that will not only produce greater emo onal
fulfillment in the rela onship, but will also release upon the couple the
blessings of God.
Understanding the Unity

It is important that we can visualize what the unity of the couple can
produce in their lives, and then we will be challenged to preserve it. We
will also understand why the Devil, the adversary of our souls, fights so
hard against it. Jesus taught us that unity and agreement allows God to act
in our lives:
"Moreover I tell you again, if two of you on earth agree about anything
they ask, it shall be done for them by my Father who is in heaven. For
where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the
midst of them." (Ma hew 18.19,20)
On the other hand, the lack of unity prevents God from ac ng. God's word
shows us quite clearly that when a husband "fights" with his wife,
something happens in the spiritual dimension as well:
"Likewise you husbands, live with them with understanding, giving honor
to the wife, as the weaker vessel, and as being heirs with you of the grace
of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered." (1 Peter 3.7)
By failing to honor his wife as the weaker vessel and mistrea ng her (even
if only verbally), the husband is bringing a serious problem upon the
spiritual life of the couple. The Bible says that prayers will be hindered. It is
logical that this also applies to the woman, although it is the men who
more easily stumble into this. The biblical text reveals that a er
dishonoring the woman as the weaker vessel (with asperi es), the man,
even if he cries out to the Lord, will have his prayer hindered, because a
principle has been violated.
God does not act in an environment of disharmony and discord. This is a

fact. When they tried to build the tower of Babel, the Scriptures say that
God came down to see what men were doing. And God Himself, seeing
them working in harmony and agreement of purpose declared:
“Behold, the people are one, and they all have one language; and this is
what they begin to do; now there will be no restraint for anything they
a empt to do. Come, let us go down and confuse their language there, so
that they will not understand each other's language." (Genesis 11.6,7)
What we see here is that unity removes boundaries. When the couple
becomes one and speaks one language (without disagreement) they
remove the boundaries before them! God can act freely in such an
environment, but it is enough to lose the ability to speak the same language
that all is lost! In God's kingdom, when two come together, the effect is not
one of addi on, but of mul plica on. Moses sang about the army of Israel:
one of them would make a thousand of their enemies flee, but two of them
would make ten thousand flee! (Deut. 32.30).
Unity also brings with it other virtues. We can see this in one of the biblical
pictures of the Tabernacle. The mercy seat of the ark of the covenant
figures this principle. The Lord said that there He would come to speak to
Moses. The mercy seat (or lid of the ark) was the place where the glory and
presence of God was manifested. And in the instruc ons for the making of
this piece, we see the symbolism of unity. God said that the two cherubim
were to be one piece of beaten gold; with this He spoke symbolically of
unity among His worshipers (Ex. 25:17-19). The cherubim were to have
their wings stretched out towards each other (Ex 25.20), which speaks of
covering each other. The lack of unity leads us to act in the spirit of Cain who
said to the Lord:
“Am I my brother's keeper??” (Gn 4.9).
But when we are in unity with someone, we cover and protect that person!
This is a virtue that accompanies unity.
The other is transparency. The cherubim were to face each other (Ex.
25:20). This speaks allegorically of being able to face another worshiper
"eye to eye". It speaks of having nothing hidden, of having no hang-ups. No
one can look (spontaneously) into another person's eye when things are
not right. When Jacob tells his family that things were not well between
him and Laban, his father-in-law, the expression he uses is:
“I see that your father's countenance is no longer the same toward me"
(Gen. 31:5).
Jesus said that the eyes are the lamp of the body. They reflect what is inside
of us. And oneness is the ability to look eye to eye and be well. Par cularly, I
cannot agree with couples who hide things from each other, whether in
regard to their past life (mistakes and sins) or present (as in financial
ma ers, for example).
I believe that true unity requires the removal or se lement of "hang-ups"
(Prov. 28:13). Some mes we fake behavior just to please (or not displease)
the other, which diverges from biblical teaching. This theater will not
produce true unity. We must learn to be frank, as it is wri en:
"Be er is frank rebuke than covert love." (Proverbs 27.5)
Paul rebuked this kind of dubious behavior when he wrote to the Gala ans.
He talked about how the apostle Peter on one occasion acted this way in
order to be "diploma c" and that this a tude managed to a ract even
Barnabas, Paul's companion, and he publicly rebuked them (Gal. 2.11-14).
However, I want to emphasize that being frank does not mean being rude,
for the Bible teaches us to speak the truth in love.
The Agreement Principle

The Bible also teaches us that agreement is indispensable in a rela onship:
"How shall two walk together, except they be agreed?" (Amos 3.3)
The absence of agreement is an open door for the devil. When Paul wrote
to the Ephesians and talked about not giving place to the devil, he did so
within a context, which is that of sins that happen in rela onships:
"Be ye angry, and sin not; let not the sun go down upon your wrath, neither
give place to the devil." (Ephesians 4.26,27)
We have men oned before that agreement is an open door for God's
ac on (Ma . 18.19). But when we get to the point of dissipa ng it from our
rela onship, we are compromising not only the quality of sa sfac on in
the emo onal sphere, but also the spiritual sphere of our home. It is not
easy to adjust sa sfactorily in the marital rela onship. There are many
differences; in each one's background, personality, temperament, and add
to this the differences between man and woman. However, when we learn
to have as a common denominator the character and teachings of Christ,
then we achieve adjustment through giving in, forgiving, star ng over, etc.
Even a couple who seemed perfectly adjusted in their courtship and
engagement period will discover the need for further adjustment as the
years of marriage go by. It is not such an easy task, but it is not impossible! If
it were not within our grasp, God would be unfair in charging us with it...
but the fact is that it is not only possible, it is also a powerful key in the
Chris an life!
The couple decides together

There is an order of government and authority established by God in the
home. The husband is called the head (Eph. 5:22-24), and we understand
that as such he is en tled to the final word. However, this does not mean
that the man is always right or that he should not listen to his wife. We find
in the Old Testament an occasion when the Lord himself says to Abraham,
his servant:
"Listen to Sarah your wife in everything she tells you" (Gen. 21.12).
In the New Testament we see Pon us Pilate despising his wife's advice and
taking it badly (Ma . 27.19).
We also need to consider that being a leader does not mean being
authoritarian. When the apostle Peter wrote to the elders (who make up
the Local Church government), he said in his epistle that they should not
be "lords over the people" (1 Pet. 5:3). This shows that authority and
authoritarianism are two different things. I see many husbands saying that
their wives MUST obey them! But in saying that wives should be
submissive, God was not ins tu ng authoritarianism in the home. It is
also worth remembering that Jesus declared that
"to whom much has been given, of him much will be required" (Luke
12.48).
Men need to remember that in ma ers of household responsibility, they

will have to answer to God in a greater measure than women. But men
need not bear the burden of this responsibility alone.
It is important for the couple to talk and make decisions together. Since we
got married, my wife and I have known who is the head of the household,
but there have been very few mes when I have made a decision for
myself. We always talk and discuss our decisions. Some mes we already
agree at the beginning of the conversa on, and some mes we need a lot
of conversa on to mature well what we are discussing. But we know the
blessing of walking in agreement and we cul vate this among ourselves. I
understand that if the woman is called a "helper" in the Bible, it is because
the man needs her help. And the woman's help is not limited to domes c
ac vi es. The Bible speaks with this figure, that there should be a
companion rela onship. I believe that as a helper, the woman should help
in making decisions.
This is a process that requires adjustment. When it comes me to discuss

some decision, or even the way of being and behaving of each spouse, we
see how difficult it is to listen to the other. But we should pay a en on to
the biblical teaching on this:
"To answer before you hear is foolishness and shame" (Prov. 18:13). James
warns us as follows:
"You know these things, my beloved brothers. Let every man therefore be
ready to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath." (James 1.19)
The truth is that we are usually ready to speak and to be angry with each
other, but slow to listen to what the other has to say. And this needs to be
changed in us! In order to have agreement, we must learn to listen.
Handling misunderstandings
Disagreements do occur, even among the most dedicated believers, but
they must be dealt with soon. We read that one can get angry and not sin,
because it is a spontaneous emo onal reac on. But what each one does
with the feeling he had can become sin. Paul advised the brothers in
Ephesus not to let the sun go down on their anger (Eph. 4:26,27).
In other words, that there should be righ ng, forgiveness, and that no
hang-ups should be le behind. We need to learn how to deal with
disagreements in the home. Preserving unity does not mean never having
disagreements, but knowing how to properly maintain the rela onship
when this occurs.
Time does not erase offenses. There must be reconcilia on. Jesus taught
this:
"If therefore, when you bring your offering to the altar, there you
remember that your brother has something against you, leave your
offering before the altar, go first and be reconciled to your brother; and
then, returning, make your offering." (Ma hew 5.23,24)
Some people think that a er a disagreement it's just to "let it go". But the
Bible teaches us the principle of reconcilia on in a very formal way. There
should be an apology, a pardon. There should be a conversa on about
what happened (what hurt each other deeply, and why it hurt). And we
must not lose sight of the fact that we should strive to live without
quarrels, and not only reconcile when they occur (Eph. 4:31).
Husbands should be extra careful, because by nature they are more

ra onal than emo onal, and their words tend to be harsher and coarser.
This is why the Bible warns us:
“Husbands, love your wives, and do not treat them roughly." (Colossians
3.19)
"Likewise, you husbands, live with them with understanding, giving honor
to the wife, as the weaker vessel, and as being heirs with you of the grace
of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered." (1 Peter 3.7)
While the adage that "preven on is be er than cure" is true and

applicable here, we need to recognize that we o en fail by allowing
misunderstandings that could easily be avoided. In this case, we must
learn to mend and deal with these situa ons. But we must also not forget
that even if there is forgiveness and reconcilia on a er the mistake, when
it is repeated a lot it generates wear and tear and discredit, and this
requires a greater dimension of restora on a erwards.
There are couples who have achieved everything they want financially, but
cannot live well together. They, be er than anyone, can affirm how true
these biblical statements are. There is no use in having other
accomplishments and le ng the marriage rela onship get lost. We must
learn to cul vate unity in our rela onship. And this happens when we
learn to deal in a simple and prac cal way with day-to-day issues.
Family is essential
“No worldly success can compensate for failure in the home.” – David O.
McKay
It is no exaggera on to say that a person will have a be er head start in life if

they come from a loving and suppor ve home. Many people succeed
despite coming from less than ideal family situa ons, but having our basic
needs met, knowing that our parents love us, and learning the lessons of
life at home make the challenges of daily living much easier to face. As an
adult you probably wish for a happy home for your family.
This is no coincidence. God organized us into families so that we could grow

up with joy and security, and so that we could learn to love other people
unselfishly - the key to true joy. Family is the best place for us to learn to love
each other the way Heavenly Father loves each of us.
Happiness in our family will probably be achieved in a be er way if it is

grounded in the teachings of Jesus. This means being unselfish, honest,
loyal, kind, and having many other virtues, not to men on constant effort.
A loving and happy family does not happen by chance.
A blessed family
• For a family to be blessed, it is fundamental that God is present, and
for this to happen, it is necessary to invite Him to be part of the family.
Joshua's words: But I and my household will serve the Lord" (Joshua
24:15)).
• Prayer is important, because it nurtures faith and hope in God; so

parents should teach their children to pray and give thanks for the
blessings received. Alfred Lord Tennyson said that "the family that prays
together, stays together”.
• Both parents must maintain a harmonious and responsible dialogue

with their children, giving examples of good a tudes, educa on and
encouragement.
• This is my commandment: Love one another, just as I have loved you

(John 15:12). We should show welcome and apprecia on to each member
of our family.
• All family members should respect God's authority over them,

parents over children, and children should respect their parents' authority.
• It is important to have educa on and discipline in the home. It is the

parents' indispensable task to educate their children and above all to
monitor their friendships and access to social networks. The Bible says:
"teach a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not
depart from it" (Proverbs 22: 6).
• Set aside some me for the family to have moments of leisure and
fun, where everyone can socialize and enjoy each other's presence.
These moments are very important, especially for those who have small
children and teenagers.
• Do not commit adultery. Adultery is responsible for the destruc on of

many marriages and the dissolu on of many families, and is a sin against
God and against one's spouse.
• Each member of the family should work for the mutual benefit of the
family as a whole. Children should have tasks to fulfill, and they should be
told that work ennobles and brings personal and professional fulfillment.
• A family that prays together stays together. Create a rou ne where

everyone can pray and read the Bible together. Nothing can unite your
family more than this habit, besides being the best defense against evil
a acks.
• It is important to men on that whenever there are disagreements,

which is normal in human rela onships, we should try to solve them
through dialogue and understanding.
Children, blessings from God

“Teach a child in the way he should go, and even when he is old he will not
depart from it." Proverbs 22:6
The family has a fundamental role in personal, social, physical, emo onal,
intellectual and spiritual development, as well as in awakening the
voca on of children who need to be guided to integrate truth into the
fabric of our daily lives.
Children, at their tender age, are in the phase of imita on, of the whys, of
broadening their discoveries and se ling down important values and
limits, having great s muli for the development of their abili es.
Religious educa on contributes with values and principles that reflect

throughout the individual's life, star ng with their rela onship with the
world. By being guided, children come to understand that there is a
greater plan on earth and connect differently with all forms of life.
Here are some ps on how you can teach the li le ones the good ways:
1- Educa on through love, teaching to love God and neighbor

As mentors, parents need to be signs of guidance and direc on, never of
fear or penalty. Teaching to love God, to listen and understand His Word, is
the greatest teaching you can leave your children. Love is the best way for
educa on.
2- Teaching by example
All moments are opportuni es to transmit posi ve values, the example, in
this early stage, will serve as a mirror for the child's development - from an
early age, they observe and reproduce - this mirror is essen al for them to
have important references in their life. Inspire the child to develop
mechanisms of closeness, prayer, and conversa on with God. Be a model
of living with God and others, ques on whether your mirror reflects:
Are you suppor ve?

How do you act with regard to forgiveness? How do you talk to God?
Do you teach your child to pray? Do you teach your child to go to church?
Do you teach your child to love his neighbor?
Our reflex reveals our a tudes toward what we say in a constant and clear
way.
3- Instruct lessons of kindness

Teach respect and humility before all people, to abide by God's laws, to
love and respect parents. The future impacts on themselves and others
are reflex of the choices they have made. Instruct lessons in kindness,
correc on and limits.
4- Chris an values
Teach your children God's values - that Jesus le us and we can find
throughout the Bible - such as: Faith, Love, Respect, Gra tude, Humility,
Compassion, Honesty, Loyalty, and Pa ence, so that their good fruits will
benefit life in society.
The educa on of children is guided by the presence of their parents, walk

together.
5- “No" is growth
Teach that no is part of learning as human beings, servants of God
"No" is always a possibility.
6- Act with balance

Children need to be loved, taught, and corrected. Establish a list of tasks to
be accomplished, teaching to respect the established rules and showing
the reality of choices and their consequences.
Correct and treat with love.
7- Keep your promises

Don't make promises you can't keep. Show your child that you are a
trustworthy person.
9- Teach zeal, kindness, act politely and with respect

Be commi ed to your daily ac vi es by establishing a healthy rou ne of
tasks where you can discover the areas in which your child best develops
his natural gi s and talents with dedica on and good will. Teach your child
to think of the welfare of others and to act with kindness whenever
possible.
10- Teach the child to know God

Introduce the child to the real Jesus and what He has done for us, through
the Bible. Teach them to pray and read the Bible daily.
Be the mirror that your child should reflect. If you want your child to be a
child of God and to walk in the Ways of the Lord, first lay out the a tudes
you expect him to have. Then the child will be able to walk together with
wisdom following in the same steps.
To love is to put yourself in the other's shoes, to act on behalf of the other.
Show love!
Develop playful ac vi es that promote Chris an values in a prac cal way

from an early age. Explore all the techniques that combine religion with
games, arts and culture.
Check out some of these techniques, and let’s go!

How to teach
Prayer
Create a daily prayer rou ne. It can be before meals, in the morning, or
before bed, choose the best me for you and your child.
Bible readings
Read Bible readings, from an early age, to develop a habit and taste for
God's word.
Drawings
Illustrate or tell a story that represents a concept to the child. For

example, ask them to draw something that represents faith.
Stories
This is one of the most effec ve ways to gain a en on and allow the child
to reflita. Tell stories!
Theater
Separate a Bible passage, create a scenario, and let crea vity fluir.
Children love to be part of the crea ve process and hands-on learning.
Social Involvement
Encourage them to contribute with ac ons in the community, be it in the

church, at school, in the family environment... Ac ons of solidarity help to
develop values such as - Love, Respect, Humility, Compassion - plant a
tree, write le ers, help families in need - live in community.
Usually, learning the values of life is seen by children as something boring

and resome. That is why it is so important that you find ways to make this
learning enjoyable. Check what their gi s and facili es are.
Children are like a plant, which we have to water and care for daily, so that
it grows healthy.
Before teaching God's ways, we must walk in God's ways. For children to
grow in the right direc on.

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Licensed to Rogelio Abarquez Baladjay - roger_baladjay@yahoo.

Couples, Family & Children Estudy

Understanding the Unity

God does not act in an environment of disharmony and discord. This is a

The Agreement Principle

The couple decides together

Men need to remember that in ma ers of household responsibility, they

This is a process that requires adjustment. When it comes me to discuss

Husbands should be extra careful, because by nature they are more

While the adage that "preven on is be er than cure" is true and

It is no exaggera on to say that a person will have a be er head start in life if

This is no coincidence. God organized us into families so that we could grow

Happiness in our family will probably be achieved in a be er way if it is

• Prayer is important, because it nurtures faith and hope in God; so

• Both parents must maintain a harmonious and responsible dialogue

• This is my commandment: Love one another, just as I have loved you

• All family members should respect God's authority over them,

• It is important to have educa on and discipline in the home. It is the

• Do not commit adultery. Adultery is responsible for the destruc on of

• A family that prays together stays together. Create a rou ne where

• It is important to men on that whenever there are disagreements,

Children, blessings from God

Religious educa on contributes with values and principles that reﬂect

1- Educa on through love, teaching to love God and neighbor

Are you suppor ve?

3- Instruct lessons of kindness

The educa on of children is guided by the presence of their parents, walk

Teach that no is part of learning as human beings, servants of God

"No" is always a possibility.

6- Act with balance

Correct and treat with love.

7- Keep your promises

9- Teach zeal, kindness, act politely and with respect

10- Teach the child to know God

Develop playful ac vi es that promote Chris an values in a prac cal way

Check out some of these techniques, and let’s go!

Illustrate or tell a story that represents a concept to the child. For

Encourage them to contribute with ac ons in the community, be it in the

Usually, learning the values of life is seen by children as something boring

You might also like