Dhruv Malhotra, 15 January 2023

Introduction to Applied Ethics

Appeal Writing

It isn’t moral to hide things from your partner.

Relationships are built primarily on trust and communication. This does not mean your

partner needs to know everything about you. However, any information of significant

importance to them should be communicated to them honestly. If not, this is a direct violation

of their trust and threatens the entire foundation of a relationship. Once lost, trust can be hard

to establish again while also affecting other factors such as intimacy.

One moral theory that could be used to address this question is deontological ethics, which is

a theory that judges the morality of an action based on its adherence to moral rules or duties.

Deontological ethics holds that some behaviours are always right or wrong, no matter what

their results or repercussions are.

Deontological ethics would imply that it is generally wrong to hold information from a

partner since being honest and open with one's partner is one of one's moral obligations in a

relationship. This is so because the connection between partners is predicated on a shared

commitment to trust and candour. One would be breaking this agreement and acting

immorally if they withheld information from their spouse.

One of the most significant deontological ethicists, Immanuel Kant, claimed that we have a

moral need to treat people as ends in and of themselves, rather than only as means to our own

aims. To put it another way, we should respect the autonomy and dignity of others and refrain

from taking advantage of or manipulating others for our personal gain. From this vantage
point, keeping information from a partner could be perceived as an assault on their dignity

and autonomy because it includes controlling them and preventing them from having the

chance to make their own judgements.

However, there might be circumstances in which keeping information from a spouse secret is

deontologically acceptable. For instance, if releasing the information might put one's partner

in danger or harm, as would happen if one revealed a surprise party or kept it secret for safety

reasons. In such situations, a person may contend that by protecting their partner from harm,

they are respecting their autonomy and dignity and that this duty takes precedence over their

obligation to be truthful and open.

In conclusion, deontological ethics holds that keeping secrets from a partner is generally

wrong because it transgresses the moral obligations of honesty, openness, and respect for

one's autonomy and dignity. To protect one's spouse from harm or danger, however, there

may be instances where keeping knowledge secret is acceptable. In the end, whether anything

is morally right to keep from a partner will depend on the situation as well as the values and

principles of those concerned.

[Word count: Approx. 453 words]