ENG 150

Change Essay Peer Review Worksheet

Instructions:

1. Keep in mind that your job is to simply read and respond as a reader—you are not
grading your partner, but you can give them valuable feedback about what makes
sense, what is confusing, and whether or not this feels like the assignment you’re both
working on.
2. Please answer the questions below and, where possible, copy and paste examples from your
classmate’s essay. Sections that are copied and pasted must be enclosed in quotation marks
(e.g. “my sister was the sunshine in our family”). This is good practice for proper treatment of
another's words and also helps distinguish the peer's words from your comments so that they
can see exactly what is working well and what could be improved.
3. Please be sure to use a professional tone. Sarcastic, rude, or condescending comments
are not appropriate (and also not Christlike). Try to “peer review unto others as you
would have them peer review unto you”—be clear, specific, and sincere!

Name of the classmate you reviewed: _Sarah Arrington_____________

Title of your classmate’s paper: _Progress, not perfection. _____________

Peer Review Questions Peer Review Response

Introduction and conclusion
Is their title interesting and connected to their overall Yes, the title connects with the overall change. I like it
change? If so, why do you like it? If not, what do you because it gives the reader a head start about what
think they could use for a title? the story is centered on.
Is the opening of the paper intriguing? Comments/examples from the essay:

If so, what makes you want to keep reading?
If not, what is making it confusing, vague, or hard to
connect with?
Does the end of the essay give closure by connecting
back to the beginning of the essay? Does the overall
change make sense at the end?
If so, fill in the template in the box next to this one (i.e.
At first this writer…).
If not, suggest ways they could make a clearer
connection back to the beginning and make the
overall change apparent throughout the essay.
The opening of the story is intriguing, especially the
part about "organised religion" . It made me want to
read more.
"Growing up, my family did not participate in
organized religion"
Comments/examples from the essay:
Yes, the end of the essay connects with the beginning.
At first this writer found it difficult to understand the
idea of religion __
But then _She found the gospel of Jesus Christ
_happened, and now _She realised that you don't
have to be perfect to be loved by Heavenly Father,
because His love is unconditional. __

Tone
Does the writer tell you exactly what to think about
the message of the essay (like a Sunday School lesson)
or do they let you interpret the meaning for yourself?
Comments/examples from the essay:
The writer let's the story speak for itself. An
example;
"At first, I thought that I could never
 ENG 150
Change Essay Peer Review Worksheet
make the necessary changes needed to join the

Church and become a Latter Day Saint, but then

after meeting other converts and taking lessons

with the missionaries I changed my mind. I

learned that perfection is not a requirement, only

effort and progression, and now my life is

different because I have a strong marriage with

wonderful children and live a much cleaner,

healthier lifestyle"

Does the writer use “I” to describe their thoughts and
feelings or do they use language like “we” and “you”
that assumes their readers think/feel the same way
they do?
If so, point out a statement that reveals a lot about
their thoughts or feelings. If not, point out where they
are using “you” or “we” in an ineffective way.
Vivid Details
Does the story include one vivid moment where the
change happens? Are there other details that help you
see, smell, hear, touch, or feel the experience?
If so, give an example of an especially vivid detail from
their essay.
If not, give a suggestion for where you wish they
would include more details.
APA Formatting
Is the overall formatting correct (page numbers,
spacing, one inch margins, bolded title, etc.)? If not,
what is missing?
Comments/examples from the essay:
The writer used "I"
and "you" was used to let the reader use their
imagination.
"Joining this church seemed impossible. I
smoked, drank, had a child out of wedlock, you
name it"
Comments/examples from the essay:
Yes, the writer includes a vivid moment, An example
was how she felt before her baptism.
"The fourth times the charm apparently because
I said yes before even realizing it. A rush of
excitement fell over me, then sudden dread. We
set a date then after they left, I fell apart. I
sobbed to Jake expressing all of the ways I felt far
too inadequate to become a part of this special
gospel"
Comments/examples from the essay:
The writer was on point with the formatting,
the only thing missing was page numbers.

Encouragement & Advice

What are your partner’s overall strengths? What The writers strength is the ability to capture
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Change Essay Peer Review Worksheet
about this essay makes you want to learn more about every emotion in detail and did not give
their topic? unnecessary details.
Do you know of any resources that might help your
classmate as they continue to write? The writer can book an appointment with the
BYU writing support.