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JT Kench

Mr.Smith

ELA

16 October 2023

The effects of war and acceptance on the lives of American veterans

Ever since the founding of the Great United States, our country has been marked by

various and constant periods of war/military conflict. When brave soldiers are sent off to fight

for their country, they make sacrifices to their lifestyle, financial security, and physical health.

The fact of the matter is that all of these issues can be greatly impacted by both each other and

the response of American civilians. When service members return from combat, they should

have the support and resources to be able to continue chasing their dreams in this country which,

unfortunately, is not often the case. The immense horrors of modern warfare coupled with the

disrespect of ignorant civilians and government towards them, often causes veterans to develop

harsh mental and physical restraints, inhibiting their ability to pursue their own American

Dream.

It is no secret that war is a brutal and bloody preview of hell itself, however, the

ignorance of the United States government to the struggles of the military has become ever more

transparent. Abe Lincoln himself said that it is of great importance to “…to care for him who

has borne the battle”(Lincoln’s second Inaugural address) . One would think this goes without

saying, but over the course of American history, accounts of civilians and government

disrespecting veterans has been commonplace. After returning from overseas following World
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War 1, veterans had not yet received the pay promised to them by the government. In an attempt

to receive their due, former soldiers protesting to remind congress of such “were fired upon by

American troops, commanded By Douglas MacArthur.” (History collection). In addition to the

already meager pay for veterans, the government has been able to take advantage of loopholes

that let them pay less money. An example of this can be seen after the revolutionary war where

“The cost of the soldier’s uniform, weapons, and other equipment was deducted from his

pay”(History Collection). Although upfront It may appear as though the government is doing

their best to accommodate the needs of veterans, the iceberg goes way deeper than it appears

when it comes to how much the government additionally takes from them.

The examples previously provided have touched upon the mistreatment of veterans at the

hands of the government, but how about from citizens themselves. Following the end of the

Vietnam war, a crushing loss for the Americans which had included a great loss of personnel,

those who made it home, would face struggle here as well. As stated by History.com “for the

men who served in Vietnam and survived unspeakable horrors, coming home offered its own

kind of trauma. Some, like Wowwk, say they had invectives hurled their way; others, like naval

officer Ford Cole, remember being spit on”. If we were to shift to a more recent form of

disconnect between veterans and United States civilians, the words of Anthony Sadler can better

illuminate this issue. Sadler is an army veteran with a military deployment to Iraq in the early

2000's where he would experience heartbreaking moments such as the death of one of his closest

friends. When comparing compassion towards his struggles from civilians to ex-service

members, he says “If you cry, then people — especially men — will take it as a weakness and

they wouldn't understand what brought that emotion. But people here, we totally get it”(Sadler).

This quote reveals how civilians show a lack of understanding and compassion surrounding
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veteran struggles, and is why it makes it harder for veterans to be able to re-adapt to society

post-service. It is truly a different level of disrespect for citizens, who were not part of the war

effort, to criticize and humiliate those who sacrificed so much, and have experienced so many

horrors for their country.

The negligence of the government and the American people have made it difficult for

veterans to receive the help they need for their service related trauma. A large number of

veterans report that they have been struggling with PTSD or other mental issues after their

deployment, and, according to americanaddictioncenters.org “In 2020, there were 6,146 Veteran

suicides, which averages to 16.8 Veterans dying by suicide every day.” A different source also

states that “Although these mental health concerns are prominently highlighted, it is crucial to

acknowledge that other issues, such as suicide, traumatic brain injury (TBI), substance use

disorder (SUD), and interpersonal violence, can be equally detrimental in this

population.”(Moore). This makes prevalent the fact that other issues , derived from their

deployments, generally fall under the radar when it comes to veteran health. Despite the startling

amount of data that proves that veterans are struggling, little of this information is known by the

general public. With the unfathomable amount of taxpayers money that gets spent by the

government every year, it is imperative that more of this money should go to building the futures

of those who have served. On a good note however, the VA, a government organization created

on the basis of helping veterans, has been able to gain decent funding for helping former soldiers.

It is especially important that veterans with physical restrictions as a result of combat, can get the

help they need to be able to rejoin the workforce. If a veteran can’t work it means there's less

money coming in, less money means the bills don’t get paid, unpaid bills then lead to veteran
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homelessness. It appears government funding in the present and in the past has seemingly gone

into menial matters, rather than securing the futures of American veterans.

Based on all the data stated, along with the commonalities found through American

history, it is clear that America has not treated veterans the way they deserve. Veterans often take

the blame for war which citizens may not agree with, but the reality is that it’s not their choice,

their choice was to serve their country. Mistreatment at the hands of the people coupled with the

betrayal of veterans by the government ie. Being underpaid and lack of funding for veteran

healthcare are all factors which have inhibited veterans from doing as they please post service.

America is well-known for our extremely high defense budget, but it should be mandatory that

we sacrifice a tiny bit of dominance on the battlefield to care for those who bore the brunt of the

battle. Veteran health is one of those issues in America that always gets swept under the carpet,

but with adequate funding going to the right places, and the support of the people, that can

change.

JT,

Really solid structure with this essay. I do think that the historical context leading

up to the current troubles worked well. Additionally, you were able to tie these problems up

with a plausible solution (reallocating funds to better support veterans post-service.) A

couple things to improve on. I didn’t see much in terms of deliberate synthesis (using

transition words to indicate whether authors agree, disagree, are building off one another,

etc). Additionally, I would recommend reading your essay out loud or having someone else

proofread it for awkward wording/lack of clarity. I can usually identify your points, but I
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want to make sure that over time your writing style develops so that the ideas your are

expressing are clear to your reader.

Works Cited

Holzwarth, Larry. “10 Ways the United States Has Treated Its Veterans through History.”

History Collection, 15 Apr. 2021,

historycollection.com/10-ways-the-united-states-has-treated-its-veterans-through-

history/

Inoue C;Shawler E;Jordan CH;Moore MJ;Jackson CA; “Veteran and Military Mental

Health Issues.” National Center for Biotechnology Information, U.S. National

Library of Medicine, pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34283458/. Accessed 12 Oct.

2023.

Mitchell, Travis. “4. How Veterans and the Public See Each Other and Themselves.” Pew

Research Center’s Social & Demographic Trends Project, Pew Research Center,

10 Sept. 2019,
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“Suicide among Veterans - Why Are Veterans at a Higher Risk of Suicide?” American

Addiction Centers, 12 Sept. 2023,

americanaddictioncenters.org/veterans/suicide-among-veterans.

Texas Public Radio | By Carson Frame. “Study Finds

Evidence of Social Disconnect between Veterans, Civilians.” TPR, 20 Dec. 2017,

www.tpr.org/military-veterans-issues/2017-12-20/study-finds-evidence-of-social-

disconnect-between-veterans-civilians.

“Why Were Vietnam War Vets Treated Poorly When They Returned?” History.Com,

A&E Television Networks,

www.history.com/news/vietnam-war-veterans-treatment. Accessed 19 Oct. 2023.

“Va.Gov: Veterans Affairs.” How Common Is PTSD in Veterans?, 24 July 2018,

www.ptsd.va.gov/understand/common/common_veterans.asp.

Works Cited

Rubric

Skill Not Foundational Proficient Advanced

Yet
Identifies a topic Appears in first Thesis establishes a
paragraph complex claim
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Thesis establishes a
topic and a claim

Comments:
Thesis

Includes three or Includes multiple Includes specific,

fewer sources pieces of evidence meaningful, and
(from 8-10 sources) well-chosen evidence
Some evidence that clearly relate to that relates to the
relates to the thesis the thesis thesis

Includes multiple Includes a wide variety

Evidence pieces of evidence in of evidence
each body paragraph (primary/secondary
sources, political
Includes multiple types cartoons, opinion
of evidence pieces, studies, poetry,
fiction/narrative, etc.)

Comments:

Summarizes Explains how evidence Explains well-selected

sources supports topic points of comparison
sentence of individual among sources and
paragraphs evidence and their
connection to the
Explains how evidence thesis
Analysis supports the thesis of
the essay Demonstrates use of
advanced vocabulary
and varies sentence
patterns; evidence of
distinct voice and style
in the writing

Comments:
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Little connection Explains how the Clearly explains

between texts; texts/sources are relationships among
difficult for the related, though points texts (how they
reader to see how could be more selective confirm or challenge
the texts are related or better developed each other, build on
each other, provide
Synthesis Includes multiple differing perspectives,
sources in each body etc.)
paragraph
Utilizes a variety of
Utilizes transition transition words and
words and phrases phrases

Comments:

Some elements Heading is correctly No errors in MLA format

missing or some formatted
errors in MLA format
Pages are numbered

Most in-text citations

are correctly formatted

Works Cited: each

source entry is in correct
MLA MLA format
Format
Comments:

Shows evidence of Most quotes are All quotes are correctly

basic proofreading correctly integrated integrated

Follows essay Shows evidence of

Conventions
organization careful proofreading

Shows evidence of
proofreading
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Comments:

Essay Checklist

Content:
Thesis is the last sentence of my first paragraph
Each body paragraph has a topic sentence that is argumentative and relates to the
contents of the paragraph
I have included the required amount of evidence
My analysis explains how the evidence proves my claims
My body paragraphs relate back to my topic sentence and my thesis
I have attempted to synthesize my sources (agreement, disagreements, etc).
By restated thesis is the first sentence of my conclusion paragraph
I have properly cited my sources (in-text, works cited)

Writing
I have eliminated “dead words” from my writing (see list below)
I have looked at my transition words and phrases to ensure that they are effective
My quote integrations grammatically flow with my evidence (avoiding hanging
quotes)
I have included words/phrases from my thesis in the body of my essay (or synonyms)
I have utilized a grammar checker to catch errors
I have read my writing aloud to check for clarity

List of dead words:

● “I”
● YOU
● WE
● LIKE
● THING
● STUFF
● KIND OF
● SORT OF
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● GOOD
● BAD
● HAPPY
● SAD
● MAD
● THIS QUOTE SHOWS (INSTEAD: EXPRESSES, ILLUMINATES, DEMONSTRATES,
DETAILS, EXPLAINS)
● “MANY WAYS”
● “SEVERAL DIFFERENT WAYS”
● “TO BE” VERBS: IS, ARE, WERE