Sirota 1

Eli Sirota

Mr. Smith

ELA

16 October 2023

Obesity’s Effects on Pursuing the American Dream

Approximately 15 million Americans suffer from life-threatening obesity every year.

Obesity is affiliated with poor diet and lack of exercise and is largely associated with the middle

and lower classes. Obesity is a huge problem in the United States that greatly affects the middle

to lower class and jeopardizes their chance at success.

The first reason obesity negatively affects the American dream is due to the adverse

effects associated with occupational functioning and chronic disease. In the study by NCOA

researchers on healthy aging they found that “Men and women who carry significant extra

weight often face problems related to physical and occupational functioning, both due to their

size and chronic ailments”(Vafiadis). Physical and Occupational functioning problems can

directly affect performance and energy when working and can also result in loss of salary

depending on the type of job. The leading factor in chronic disease is poor diet and it heavily

affects the middle and lower classes so harshly because they can't afford healthier food. Many

middle-class citizens have trouble affording meals for their family and “one in 5 middle-income

families reported that they or their children skipped meals in the last year due to rising food

prices.” (NoKidHungry). If families can't account for putting every meal on the table then, they

aren't going to splurge on a more expensive alternative. Due to inflation food prices have

skyrocketed in the previous years making it exponentially harder to keep proper nutrition. The

graph by FAO below demonstrates the recent increase in food prices since 2000. Similarly to the
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research found by FAO, if families choose to

eat unhealthy and cheaper, medicine that's

needed to support the ailments associated

with obesity is very expensive. Therefore

many middle-class families struggle

financially because they can't afford the

medicine that’s needed to treat obesity,

making it significantly more difficult to become successful.

As well as physical issues, obesity causes mental health impairments and continues to be

heavily associated with depression. Depression can seriously affect willpower and makes

balancing your personal life with work nearly impossible when struggling. Obesity can also

bring many other horrific conditions that can affect someone's life, “obesity has been studied in

populations with mood disorders, schizophrenia, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder

(ADHD), and trauma”(GWU). Mood disorders and ADHD along with the more serious

Depression and Schizophrenia affect decision making and the ability to make healthy choices

about our lives. Some mental health conditions are extremely hard to live with and need medical

attention which can often be very costly. Most middle and lower-class citizens cannot afford

medications that can “cost an individual anywhere from $15-$100 a month, regardless of their

insurance coverage.” (Discovery Mood and Anxiety). 15 to 100 dollars a month adds up very

quickly throughout the year in addition to having to pay for other bills. This can set someone

over the edge in debt or even worse keep them suffering because they can't afford medication.

This reveals the neverending cycle of middle-class and lower-class mediocrity where one
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problem leads to another. This mediocrity cannot end when, as Richard Reeves showed in his

article, most middle-class Americans work around the clock to make minimal money.

Lastly, obesity can affect the American dream by a lack of exercise. Almost all

middle-aged adults lack exercise in their lives due to the minimal amount of free time out of

work, which likely would be used to spend time with family and other important alternatives.

The adverse health effects of exercise are amazing and “being physically active can improve

your brain health, help manage weight, reduce the risk of disease, strengthen bones and muscles,

and improve your ability to do everyday activities.”(CDC). Physical activity can greatly improve

quality of life when it helps brain function, weight loss, and risk of disease, but is uncommonly

found in an adult's daily routine. In contrast, time continues to be the reason why most

middle-aged adults don't exercise because the little time they get away from their jobs is likely

spent with family. “The average middle-class married couple with children now works a

combined 3,446 hours per year. This is about 70 hours per week”(Richard Reeves). If over half

the hours in a year are spent in the workplace and the other half at home not accounting for the

time needed for sleep, very few hours are left to pursue personal interests or necessary exercise,

which can negatively affect your mental health. Time is an extremely important factor in the

American dream, if there isn't enough time for personal priorities and spending time with your

family. Difficulties residing in physical and mental health will arise to cause challenges and the

solution to each problem is money they don't have. For example in a speech given by

well-renowned Dr. Milagros Rosal, he explains “obesity in children has become a considerable

problem… we have a crisis in this country and one that we should all be concerned about,

children are gaining excess weight… especially children from minority backgrounds and

children from under-resourced communities”(Rosal). The lack of attention toward children in

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under-resourced communities has spiked obesity rates. This demonstrates Americans don't have

nearly the amount of time or money to support a healthy lifestyle for themselves and their

families while providing enough money to be successful in this country.

Obesity in America leads to challenges that can greatly harm your chances of success in

this country. There are a variety of factors that lead to personal health including time, family

stability, and money that are hard to find when looking at an average American life.

Eli,

Really solid job of carrying your ideas throughout the essay. Additionally, you writing is

very clear. A couple things to improve on:

● Adding complexity to your writing (we have seen this with the thesis templates, and

will continue to work on ways to make our topic sentences, and therefore our

analysis, more complex)

● Utilizing a variety of evidence. Since this is an ELA class, you can use evidence

beyond informational sources, so I would like to see you give that a shot as the year

goes on.
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Works Cited

YouTube, 9 March 2019,

https://www.ifpri.org/sites/default/files/d9_images/inflation_nutrition_1.png. Accessed

18 October 2023.

Amoakohene, Tiffany. “Rising Food Prices Are Hurting Kids and Families.” No Kid Hungry, 20

March 2023,

https://www.nokidhungry.org/blog/rising-food-prices-are-hurting-kids-and-families.

Accessed 18 October 2023.

“Benefits of Physical Activity | Physical Activity.” CDC,

https://www.cdc.gov/physicalactivity/basics/pa-health/index.htm. Accessed 18 October

2023.

“Fast Facts – Mental Health and Obesity | STOP Obesity Alliance | Milken Institute School of

Public Health | The George Washington University.” STOP Obesity Alliance,

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https://stop.publichealth.gwu.edu/fast-facts/mental-health-obesity. Accessed 18 October

2023.

“Mind/body health: Obesity.” American Psychological Association,

https://www.apa.org/topics/obesity/mind-body-health. Accessed 18 October 2023.

Rath, Arun. “To reduce childhood obesity, UMass Chan Medical School study finds community

support is key.” WGBH, 15 May 2023,

https://www.wgbh.org/news/local/2023-05-15/to-reduce-childhood-obesity-umass-chan-

medical-school-study-finds-community-support-is-key. Accessed 18 October 2023.

Reeves, Richard V., and Isabel V. Sawhill. “A New Contract with the Middle Class - Time |

Brookings.” Brookings Institution,

https://www.brookings.edu/articles/a-new-contract-with-the-middle-class-time/. Accessed

18 October 2023.

“The Rising Cost of Mental Health and Substance Abuse in the United States.” Discovery Mood

& Anxiety Program, https://discoverymood.com/blog/cost-of-mental-health-increase/.

Accessed 18 October 2023.

Sarwer, David B., and Heather M. Polonsky. “The Psychosocial Burden of Obesity - PMC.”

NCBI, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6052856/. Accessed 18 October

2023.

Vafiadis, Dorothea. “How Excess Weight Impacts Our Mental and Emotional Health.” National

Council on Aging, 21 April 2021,

https://www.ncoa.org/article/how-excess-weight-impacts-our-mental-and-emotional-healt

h. Accessed 18 October 2023.

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Rubric

Skill Not Foundational Proficient Advanced

Yet
Identifies a topic Appears in first Thesis establishes a
paragraph complex claim

Thesis establishes a
topic and a claim

Thesis Comments:

Includes three or Includes multiple Includes specific,

fewer sources pieces of evidence meaningful, and
(from 8-10 sources) well-chosen evidence
Some evidence that clearly relate to that relates to the
relates to the thesis the thesis thesis

Includes multiple Includes a wide variety

Evidence pieces of evidence in of evidence
each body paragraph (primary/secondary
sources, political
Includes multiple types cartoons, opinion
of evidence pieces, studies, poetry,
fiction/narrative, etc.)

Comments:

Summarizes Explains how evidence Explains well-selected

sources supports topic points of comparison
sentence of individual among sources and
paragraphs evidence and their
connection to the
Explains how evidence thesis
Analysis supports the thesis of
the essay Demonstrates use of
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advanced vocabulary
and varies sentence
patterns; evidence of
distinct voice and style
in the writing

Comments:

Little connection Explains how the Clearly explains

between texts; texts/sources are relationships among
difficult for the related, though points texts (how they
reader to see how could be more selective confirm or challenge
the texts are related or better developed each other, build on
each other, provide
Synthesis Includes multiple differing perspectives,
sources in each body etc.)
paragraph
Utilizes a variety of
Utilizes transition transition words and
words and phrases phrases

Comments:

Some elements Heading is correctly No errors in MLA format

missing or some formatted
errors in MLA format
Pages are numbered

Most in-text citations

are correctly formatted

Works Cited: each

source entry is in correct
MLA MLA format
Format
Comments:

Shows evidence of Most quotes are All quotes are correctly

basic proofreading correctly integrated integrated
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Follows essay Shows evidence of

Conventions
organization careful proofreading

Shows evidence of
proofreading

Comments: