DBT for Private Practice
rtf
Emotional Expressiveness and TRUST
Emotionally Expressive Type
Trust my feelings. It is okay that I’m frustrated. I just Trust my feelings. It is okay that I’m frustrated. I just
need to make sure I don’t bowl him over with my
expression of it.
Redirect to my objectives. I’m really frustrated, but
what I really want in this situation is to make him
understand that I need support. I want him to know
that he is eager to criticize and has been skinny on
compliments.
Use my personality. I’m expressive. I tell him a lot.
Probably because I say so much, my message can
get lost. I need to slow down, look him directly in
the eyes, and let him know that this is important to
me and not another one of my stream-of-
consciousness verbalizations.
Sense my face, body, posture, voice. I’m tense, but
not that tense. This is not the end of the world. I
know he loves me, so maybe I should temper what
I tell him. But when I tell him, it will be important
that I let him know that this is a real issue and not
something that I just thought of on the spur of the
moment.
Tame my feeling. Since this is not the end of the
world, I won’t beat him silly with arguments
proving that what he’s doing is wrong. I’ll get
close to his face, look him in the eyes, and just tell
him what I’m feeling. Nothing dramatic.
© Thomas Marra/New Harbinger Publications 2005
723652176.
Emotionally Unexpressive Type
need to make sure I get my message across.
Redirect to my objectives. I’m frustrated, but he
probably doesn’t know it. Redirect my attention to
him. What do I need to say to him to let him know
how I feel?
Use my personality. I’m quiet. I don’t tell him much.
Maybe he doesn’t have any idea that his criticisms
are bothering me so much. I need to just tell him,
in plain English, what I’m feeling and thinking.
Sense my face body, posture, voice. I’m tense. I’m
usually not affected by him, because I know that he
loves me. But these critical remarks have gotten
out of hand. I need to let him know how I feel. I
need to be strategic and let him know what I want
from him.
Tame my feeling. I’m typically so meek and
uncommunicative that sometimes it’s difficult to
get my point across. I’ll practice what I’m going to
say to him. I’ll use feeling words, telling him that
I’ve been feeling nervous about talking to him
about this, but that it has been bothering me so I
decided to do it anyway. I’ll tell him that it hurts
when he criticizes me so much and gives so few
compliments.