DBT for Private Practice 725213388.

rtf

Emotion Regulation: Discriminate Primary from Secondary Emotions

The intensity of your emotion increases when you pile secondary emotions on top of primary emotions. Below, write your thoughts about which of your
feelings are primary reactions to the current event about which you are feeling strongly, and how many of your feelings are about past situations
(secondary emotions).

Identify the emotion
Example: I’m upset that my friend is
ignoring me. I’m feeling lonely,
unworthy, and angry that I’m always the
person who has to initiate in relationships.
Differentiate primary from
secondary emotions
My primary feeling is being lonely that
my friend is not calling me or initiating
social plans with me. My secondary
emotions are the feelings of anger and
unworthiness because I feel that others
have done this to me in the past.
My plan to deal with the primary
emotion
I’m not going to take my anger out on my
friend. It is not his fault that others have
been passive in my past social
relationships. I’m going to react only to
the feeling of being lonely by picking up
the phone and calling my friend.
My plan to deal with the secondary
emotion
My resentment and anger that I’m always
setting up social encounters is something
I’ll be better prepared to handle when I’m
not actively feeling lonely. I’ll take a look
at these resentful and angry feelings when
I’m not feeling so alone.

© Thomas Marra/New Harbinger Publications 2005

DBT for Private Practice 725213388.rtf

© Thomas Marra/New Harbinger Publications 2005