Peer Editing Review Sheet

Title of narrative: The dangerous Drink Number: 1

Peer reviewer: Chelsea Lewis

1. Read the story through once.

2. Read the story through again, marking any grammar or punctuation mistakes the person may have made.
3. Look at the first few sentences of the story. Is it a sizzling start? Explain why or why not. If not, suggest how
it could be improved.
It could be improved but other than that it was a good sizzling start because I wanted to know why it was
called the ‘Superpower’ drink and what does it do.
4. What is the setting of the story?
The drink shop
5. Identify the problem/complication in the story.
The problem/complication of the story was that every drink Joe drunk would give him a different
superpower and he wanted to be normal again.
6. Does the story contain tightening tension (suspense)? Identify at least one section where you wondered
what would happen next. If not, suggest where this could have been included.
At the end where it says ‘ I hope this is the right drink’ it makes me wonder whether or not it was the correct
one or would he be stuck like that forever.
7. Find two examples of direct speech (characters speaking). Were these examples of dynamic dialogue?
Explain why/why not. If no dialogue was included, suggest a place where some may have been effective.
Mackenzie has had some direct speech but forgot to have a new line with every speech. It made it clear the
character Joe didn’t like how he was and wanted to be back to normal.
8. Find two examples of show, don’t tell where information about a character or setting is revealed using
imagery/description. If this is not evident, suggest two places where this could have been done.
She has placed a show don’t tell when she says ‘his palms were sweating, and his heart was racing’ she is
describing that he is scared but not telling the reader.
9. Does the plot progress rapidly or are there parts that could have been cut out? Identify any ‘boring bits’ and
explain why they were not necessary.
There are no boring bit because every bit is important to make the story interesting.
10. Look at the final few sentences of the story. Is it an exciting ending? Explain why/why not. If not, suggest
how it could have been improved.
It is very exciting because Joe get’s his normal self-back or that’s what we thought, I guess we can just keep
on wondering.
11. Link to stimulus – explain how the story is connected to the topic of ‘The Wondrous Box’.
The drink gives joe powers which makes him super and according to Mackenzie makes him a superhero.
12. Identify three high vocabulary words you read in the story.
Fuzzled is sorta a big girl word
13. What do you think the theme (main message) of the story is?

Some things happen in life that are uncontrollable and in this case Joe couldn't escape his problems but
in the end he had to find a way to stop it.
14. Check that the author correctly paragraphed (each new idea and each new speaker has a new paragraph).
Where a new paragraph should have begun, write a large ‘P’.
15. What are two things you liked about the story?
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16. What are two things that could be improved upon for next time?
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