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24 Ways To Influence Even The Most Resistant People - The Independent - The Independent
24 Ways To Influence Even The Most Resistant People - The Independent - The Independent
The Independent
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Seduction — persuading a person to yield to your advances — isn't used only in the pursuit
of a love interest.
Influencing others is how we get jobs and promotions, win negotiations, sell products, and
gain notoriety.
In "The Art of Seduction," popular author Robert Greene explores the ruthless tactics of
some of history's greatest seducers, from Cleopatra to Casanova.
Your target should be someone "for whom you can fill a void," Greene says. Don't try to get
the most out of those who are too eager to please you, because they are usually looking to
get something in return; instead, find those who give subtle hints, like shyness in your
presence, that they are open to your influence.
If you want to initiate a relationship with someone who would be of value to you, you risk
forcing them to raise their guard if you approach them and immediately ask for something.
Before making a proposal, reach out to them via a third party, or develop a neutral or friendly
relationship before making it about business
Don't make a fool of yourself, but don't be humble when you're trying to win someone over.
Show off your most important connections and successes.
People cannot be seduced if they're content. Sell yourself by illustrating ways in which the
other party is lacking in some respect and then reveal how you can make up for that
deficiency.
If you're too straightforward with people you're trying to influence, you may scare them away
or even turn them against you. The best way to get people to work in your favor, Greene
says, is by subtly dropping hints over time without revealing your true intentions. That way
you can make your target think he or she is acting on his or her own initiative.
If you're trying to change people's minds, first play by their rules. Begin by becoming a
mirror, and they will open up to you.
8. Create temptation.
Determine what your target's weakness is, and play to it. Find an ideal that this person is
trying to realize "and hint that you can lead them to it," Greene writes.
The moment people think they know what to expect from you is when your hold over them
is broken. Keep their interest in you with the occasional surprise.
If you are giving a presentation, for example, goad the audience onto your side by telling
them what they want to hear. Make your argument convincing by making it enjoyable.
You will not win people over if you are a nagging constant in their lives. Associate yourself
with enjoyable experiences so that your target misses you when you're gone.
Rather than overpower your target, set aside your ego and communicate how the other side
is in a dominant position, even if it isn't exactly true.
"Remember: people want to believe in the extraordinary," Greene writes. Make whatever
you're trying to sell sound dramatic yet rooted in reality.
People are most vulnerable when they are shut off from everything around them. Make
others feel like they are the only person who matters.
If your target begins to become insecure and pulls back from you, demonstrate your value
by going out of your way to help him or her in some way.
Your targets will have had similar relationships that worked well for them. Figure out what
they liked most about these previous experiences and do things to evoke memories of
them.
Even the most clean-cut people have a curiosity of the forbidden. You do not need to be
doing anything wrong to make the other side feel as if they are working in a nebulous area —
that can mean something as simple as hinting that a deal you are offering is so great that it
is unprecedented and needs to be kept secret.
Avoid being overly polite with your target, which can have the unintended consequence of
making you seem insincere and insecure. Mix complimentary language with blunt,
straightforward insight.
When the other side is on your side but has become used to you, re-create interest by taking
a step back and having them chase you.
Keep your target focused on you by making yourself as attractive as possible, dressing
nicely, smiling, and speaking with confidence.
When your target has demonstrated that he or she is definitely interested in you, make a
final offensive move, stating your intended goal. End with a natural, bold finish, rather than
awkwardly or timidly avoiding what you really want, Greene says.
Once you have succeeded in your seduction, employ variations of the above tactics to
certain degrees to keep the other side from taking you for granted and making you
disposable.
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