EBook MF New Engaging Titles From 4Ltr Press PDF Docx Kindle Full Chapter

M&F; (New, Engaging Titles from 4LTR
Press)
Visit to download the full and correct content document:
https://ebookmass.com/product/mf-new-engaging-titles-from-4ltr-press/
2-3 Long-Distance Relationships 39 2-5 Living Apart Together 43
2-5a Advantages of LAT 44
2-4 Cohabitation 41
2-5b Disadvantages of LAT 45
2-4a Nine Types of Cohabitation Relationships 41
2-6 Trends in Singlehood 46
2-4b Does Cohabitation Result in Marriages
That Last? 43
3 Gender in Relationships 48
3-1 Terminology of Gender Roles 49

3-1a Sex 49
3-1b Gender 50
3-1c Gender Identity 51
3-1d Gender Roles 52
3-1e Gender Role Ideology 54
3-2 Theories of Gender Role
Development 54
3-2a Biosocial/Biopsychosocial 54
3-2b Bioecological Model 55
3-2c Social Learning 55
3-2d Identification 56
3-2e Cognitive-Developmental Theory 56
3-3 Agents of Socialization 56
3-3a Family 56
3-3b Peers 57
Courtesy of Brittany Bolen
3-3c Religion 57
3-3d Education 58
3-3e Economy 58
3-3f Mass Media 58
3-4 Consequences of Traditional Gender
Role Socialization 59 3-5 Changing Gender Roles 64
3-4a Traditional Female 3-5a Androgyny 64
Role Socialization 59 3-5b Gender Role Transcendence 64
3-4b Consequences of Traditional Male Role 3-5c Gender Postmodernism 64
Socialization 62 3-6 Trends in Gender Roles 66
4 Love and Relationship Development 68
4-1 Ways of Viewing Love 68

4-1a Romantic versus Realistic Love 70
4-1b Love Styles 71
4-1c Triangular View of Love 74
4-1d Love Languages 74
4-1e Polyamory 75
4-2 Social Control of Love 75
Courtesy of Rachel Calisto
4-3 Love Theories: Origins of Love 76

4-3a Evolutionary Theory 76
4-3b Learning Theory 76
4-3c Sociological Theory 76
vi M&F
Copyright 2016 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s).
Editorial review has deemed that any suppressed content does not materially affect the overall learning experience. Cengage Learning reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.
4-3d Psychosexual Theory 77 4-8 Psychological Factors in Relationship
4-3e Biochemical Theory 77 Development 86
4-3f Attachment Theory 77 4-8a Complementary-Needs Theory 86
4-4 Love as a Context for Problems 78 4-8b Exchange Theory 86
4-4a Unrequited/Unreciprocated Love 78 4-8c Role Theory 87
4-4b Making Risky, Dangerous Choices 78 4-8d Attachment Theory 87
4-4c Ending the Relationship with One’s 4-8e Undesirable Personality Characteristics of
Parents 79 a Potential Mate 88
4-4d Simultaneous Loves 79 4-8f Female Attraction to “Bad Boys” 89
4-4e Abusive Relationships 79 4-9 Engagement 90
4-4f Profound Sadness/Depression When a 4-9a Premarital Counseling 90
Love Relationship Ends 79 4-9b Visiting Your Partner’s Parents 91
4-5 How Love Develops in a New 4-10 Delay or Call Off the Wedding If... 91
Relationship 80 4-10a Age 18 or Younger 91
4-5a Social Conditions for Love 80 4-10b Known Partner Less Than Two Years 91
4-5b Psychological Conditions for Love 80 4-10c Abusive Relationship 92
4-5c What Makes Love Last 81 4-10d High Frequency of Negative Comments/
4-6 Cultural Factors in Relationship Low Frequency of Positive Comments 92
Development 82 4-10e Numerous Significant Differences 92
4-10f On-and-Off Relationship 92
4-6a Endogamy 82 4-10g Dramatic Parental Disapproval 93
4-6b Exogamy 82 4-10h Low Sexual Satisfaction 93
4-7 Sociological Factors in Relationship 4-10i Limited Relationship Knowledge 93
Development 83 4-10j Wrong Reasons for Getting Married 93
4-7a Homogamy 83 4-11 Trends in Love Relationships 94
5 Communication and Technology in Relationships 96
5-1 Communication: Verbal

and Nonverbal 97
5-1a Words versus Action 98
5-2 Technology-Mediated Communication
in Romantic Relationships 99
5-2a Texting and Interpersonal
Communication 99
5-2b When Texting and Facebook Become
a Relationship Problem 100
5-2c Sexting 102
5-2d Video-Mediated Communication 102
5-3 Principles of Effective
Communication 103
5-4 Gender, Culture, and
Communication 107
5-4a Gender Differences in
Communication 107
Courtesy of Chelsea Curry
5-4b Cultural Differences in

Communication 108
5-5 Self-Disclosure and Secrets 108
5-5a Self-Disclosure in Intimate Relationships 108
Contents vii
5-5b Secrets in Romantic Relationships 108 5-8 Fighting Fair: Steps in Conflict
5-5c Family Secrets 110 Resolution 112
5-6 Dishonesty, Lying, and Cheating 110 5-8a Address Recurring, Disturbing Issues 113
5-8b Identify New Desired Behaviors 113
5-6a Dishonesty 110
5-8c Identify Perceptions to Change 113
5-6b Lying in American Society 110
5-8d Summarize Your Partner’s Perspective 113
5-6c Lying and Cheating in Romantic
5-8e Generate Alternative Win–Win
Relationships 111
Solutions 113
5-7 Theories of Relationship 5-8f Forgive 114
Communication 112 5-8g Avoid Defense Mechanisms 114
5-7a Symbolic Interactionism 112 5-9 Trends in Communication
5-7b Social Exchange 112 and Technology 115
6 Sexuality in Relationships 116
6-1 Alternative Sexual Values 118 6-3d Oral Sex 126

6-1a Absolutism 118 6-3e Vaginal Intercourse 126
6-1b Relativism 119 6-3f First Intercourse 126
6-1c Hedonism 122 6-3g Anal Sex 127
6-2 Sources of Sexual Values 123 6-3h Cybersex 127
6-3i Kink 127
6-3 Sexual Behaviors 124
6-4 Sexuality in Relationships 128
6-3a What Is Sex? 124
6-3b Kissing 125 6-4a Sexual Relationships among Never-
6-3c Masturbation 125 Married Individuals 128
Hero Images/Getty Images
viii M&F
6-4b Sexual Relationships among Married 6-5d Condom Assertiveness 130
Individuals 128 6-5e Open Sexual Communication (Sexual
6-4c Sexual Relationships among Divorced Self-Disclosure) and Feedback 131
Individuals 128 6-5f Frequent Initiation of Sexual Behavior 131
6-4d Sexual Problems: General 129 6-5g Having Realistic Expectations 131
6-4e Sexual Problems: Pornography 129 6-5h Sexual Compliance 132
6-5 Sexual Fulfillment: Some 6-5i Job Satisfaction 132
Prerequisites 129 6-5j Avoiding Spectatoring 132
6-5k Female Vibrator Use, Orgasm,
6-5a Self-Knowledge, Body Image,
and Partner Comfort 133
and Health 129
6-5b A Committed Loving Relationship 130 6-6 Trends in Sexuality in
6-5c An Equal Relationship 130 Relationships 133
7 GLbTq Relationships 134
7-1 Language and Identification 134 7-7 Parenting Issues 150

7-1a Kinsey Scale 136 7-7a Gay Families: Lesbian Mothers and
7-1b Complications in Identifying Sexual Gay Fathers 150
Orientation 137 7-7b Bisexual Parents 151
7-2 Sexual Orientation 137 7-7c Development and Well-Being of Children
with Gay or Lesbian Parents 151
7-2a Beliefs about What “Causes”
7-7d Development and Well-Being of Children
Homosexuality 137
in Transgender Families 152
7-2b Can Homosexuals Change Their Sexual
7-7e Discrimination in Child Custody, Visitation,
Orientation? 138
Adoption, and Foster Care 152
7-3 Heterosexism, Homonegativity, 7-7f When LGB Relationships End: Reaction
Etc. 138 of the Children 153
7-3a Attitudes Toward Homosexuality: 7-8 Trends 153
Homonegativity and Homophobia 138
7-3b Biphobia and Transphobia 140
7-3c Effects of Antigay/Trans Bias and
Discrimination on Heterosexuals 140
7-4 Coming Out 141
7-4a Risks and Benefits of Coming Out 141
7-5 Mixed-Orientation Inside
Relationships 145
7-5a Relationship Satisfaction 145
7-5b Conflict Resolution and Intimate Partner
Violence 146
7-5c Sexuality 146
7-5d Love and Sex 147
7-5e Division of Labor 147
7-5f Mixed-Orientation Relationships 147
7-5g Transgender Relationships 147
7-6 Same-Sex Marriage 148
7-6a Arguments in Favor
of Same-Sex Marriage 149
7-6b Arguments against Same-Sex Marriage 149
Contents ix
8 Marriage Relationships 154
8-1 Motivations, Functions, and Transition 8-5 Marriage Success 171

to Egalitarian Marriage 154 8-5a Definition and Characteristics of
8-1a Motivations to Marry 155 Successful Marriages 171
8-1b Functions of Marriage 156 8-5b Theoretical Views of Marital Happiness and
8-1c Transition to Egalitarian Marriage 156 Success 173
8-2 Weddings and Honeymoons 156 8-5c Marital Happiness across Time 174
8-2a Weddings 157 8-6 Trends in Marriage Relationships 174
8-2b Honeymoons 159
8-3 Changes after Marriage 159
8-3a Legal Changes 159
8-3b Personal/Health Changes 160
8-3c Friendship Changes 161
8-3d Relationship Changes 161
8-3e Parents and In-Law Changes 162
8-3f Financial Changes 162
8-4 Diversity in Marriage 162
8-4a Hispanic Families 163
8-4b Mormon Families 163
8-4c Military Families 164
8-4d Interracial Marriages 166
Red Chopsticks/Getty Images
8-4e Interreligious Marriages 167

8-4f International Marriages 167
8-4g Age-Discrepant Relationships and
Marriages 168
8-4h College Marriages 170
9 Money, Work, and Relationships 176
9-1 Money and Relationships 177

9-1a Money as Power in a Couple’s Relationship 178
9-1b Effects of Poverty on Marriages and
Families 178
9-2 Work and Marriage 179
9-2a Basic Rules for Managing One’s Work
Life to Have a Successful Marriage 179
9-2b Employed Wives 179
9-2c Office Romance 180
9-2d Types of Dual-Career Marriages 180
9-3 Effects of the Wife’s Employment on
the Spouses and Marriage 182
9-3a Effects of the Wife’s Employment on
Her Husband 184
9-3b Effects of the Wife’s Employment on
Rob Marmion/Shutterstock.com
the Marriage 184

9-4 Work and Family: Effects on
Children 184
9-4a Quality Time with Children 185
9-4b Day Care Considerations 185
x M&F
9-5 Balancing Work and Family Life 186 9-5d Time Management 188
9-5a Superperson Strategy 186 9-5e Role Compartmentalization 188
9-5b Cognitive Restructuring 187 9-6 Trends in Money, Work, and
9-5c Delegation of Responsibility and Limiting Family Life 188
Commitments 187
10 Abuse in Relationships 190
10-1 Types of Relationship Abuse 190 10-3c Alcohol and Rape 201
10-1a Violence as Abuse 190 10-3d Rophypnol: The Date Rape Drug 201
10-1b Emotional Abuse 193 10-4 Abuse in Marriage Relationships 201
10-1c Mutual or Unilateral Abuse? 194 10-4a General Abuse in Marriage 201
10-1d Female Abuse of Partner 194 10-4b Men Who Abuse 202
10-1e Stalking 194 10-4c Rape in Marriage 203
10-1f Reacting to the Stalker 195
10-5 Effects of Abuse 203
10-2 Reasons for Violence and Abuse in
Relationships 196 10-5a Effects of Partner Abuse on Victims 203
10-5b Effects of Partner Abuse on Children 203
10-2a Cultural Factors 196
10-2b Community Factors 197 10-6 The Cycle of Abuse 203
10-2c Individual Factors 197 10-6a Why Victims Stay in Abusive
10-2d Relationship Factors 199 Relationships 204
10-2e Family Factors 199 10-6b Fighting Back? What Is the Best
10-3 Sexual Abuse in Undergraduate Strategy? 205
Relationships 199 10-6c How to Leave an Abusive
Relationship 205
10-3a Acquaintance and Date Rape 199
10-3b Sexual Abuse in Same-Sex Relationships 200 10-7 Trends in Abuse in Relationships 206
lofilolo/Getty Images
Contents xi
11 Deciding About Children 208
11-1 Do You Want to Have Children? 208 11-6 Abortion 220

11-1a Social Influences Motivating Individuals 11-6a Incidence of Abortion 220
to Have Children 209 11-6b Reasons for an Abortion 221
11-1b Individual Motivations for Having 11-6c Pro-Life Abortion Position 222
Children 210 11-6d Pro-Choice Abortion Position 222
11-1c Evaluation of Lifestyle Changes 210 11-6e Confidence in Making an Abortion
11-1d Awareness of Financial Costs 211 Decision 222
11-2 How Many Children Do You Want? 211 11-6f Physical Effects of Abortion 222
11-6g Psychological Effects of Abortion 223
11-2a Childfree Marriage? 212
11-6h Knowledge and Support of Male Partners
11-2b One Child? 213
of Women Who Have an Abortion 224
11-2c Two Children? 214
11-2d Three Children? 214 11-7 Trends in Deciding about Children 224
11-2e Four Children 214
11-2f Contraception 214
11-2g Emergency Contraception 216
11-2h Sex Selection 216
11-3 Infertility 216
11-3a Types of Infertility 216
11-3b Causes of Infertility 217
11-3c Success Using Assisted Reproductive
Technologies (ART) 217
11-4 Adoption 218
11-4a Characteristics of Children Available
for Adoption 218
11-4b Children Who Are Adopted 218
Courtesy of Chelsea Curry
11-4c Costs of Adoption 219

11-4d Open versus Closed Adoptions 219
11-5 Foster Parenting 219
11-5a Internet Adoption 219
12 Rearing Children 226
12-1 Parenting: A Matter of Choices 226

12-1a Nature of Parenting Choices 226
12-1b Six Basic Parenting Choices 228
12-2 Roles of Parents 228
12-2a Caregiver 228
12-2b Emotional Resource 228
12-2c Teacher 228
12-2d Economic Resource 229
12-2e Protector 229
12-2f Health Promoter 229
12-2g Ritual Bearer 230
Courtesy of Brittany Bolen
12-3 Transition to Parenthood 230

12-3a Transition to Motherhood 230
12-3b Transition to Fatherhood 231
12-3c Transition from a Couple to a Family 232
xii M&F
12-4 Parenthood: Some Facts 233 12-5e Use Technology to Monitor Cell Phone/Text
12-4a Views of Children Differ Historically 233 Messaging Use 238
12-4b Parents Create Diverse Learning Contexts 12-5f Set Limits and Discipline Children for
in Which to Rear Their Children 233 Inappropriate Behavior 239
12-4c Parents Are Only One Influence in a Child’s 12-5g Have Family Meals 240
Development 233 12-5h Encourage Responsibility 240
12-4d Each Child Is Unique 234 12-5i Adult Children Living with Parents 240
12-4e Each Gender Is Unique 234 12-5j Establish Norm of Forgiveness 241
12-4f Parenting Styles Differ 234 12-5k Teach Emotional Competence 241
12-5l Provide Sex Education 241
12-5 Principles of Effective Parenting 237
12-5m Express Confidence 242
12-5a Give Time, Love, Praise, Encouragement, 12-5n Respond to the Teen Years Creatively 242
and Acceptance 237
12-6 Single-Parenting Issues 243
12-5b Avoid Overindulgence 237
12-5c Monitor Child’s Activities/Drug Use 238 12-6a Single Mothers by Choice 244
12-5d Monitor Television and Pornography 12-6b Challenges Faced by Single Parents 244
Exposure 238 12-7 Trends in Parenting 245
13 Stress and Crisis in Relationships 246
13-1 Definitions and Sources of Stress 13-2b Choosing a Positive Perspective 249
and Crisis 246 13-2c Exercise 250
13-1a Resilient Families 248 13-2d Family Cohesion, Friends, and
13-1b A Family Stress Model 249 Relatives 250
13-2e Love 250
13-2 Positive Stress-Management 13-2f Religion and Spirituality 250
Strategies 249 13-2g Laughter and Play 251
13-2a Scaling Back and Restructuring Family 13-2h Sleep 251
Roles 249 13-2i Pets 251
Nicki Pardo/Getty Images
Contents xiii
13-3 Harmful Stress-Management 13-5 Marriage (Relationship)
Strategies 251 Therapy 263
13-4 Five Individual, Couple, and Family 13-5a Availability of Marriage/Relationship
Crisis Events 252 Therapists 263
13-5b Effectiveness of Behavioral Couple
13-4a Physical Illness and Disability 252
Therapy 263
13-4b Mental Illness 252
13-5c Telerelationship (Skype) Therapy 264
13-4c Middle-Age Crazy (Midlife Crisis) 253
13-4d Extramarital Affair 254 13-6 Trends Regarding Stress and Crisis in
13-4e Unemployment 260 Relationships 264
13-4f Alcohol/Substance Abuse 261
13-4g Death of Family Member 261
14 Divorce and Remarriage 266
14-1 Deciding Whether to Continue or End 14-2c Liberal Divorce Laws/Social

a Relationship/Get a Divorce 267 Acceptance 270
14-1a Deal-Breakers and Factors Predictive of 14-2d Prenuptial Agreements and the
Continuing or Ending a Relationship 268 Internet 271
14-1b Factors to Consider in Deciding to End 14-2e Fewer Moral and Religious Sanctions 271
a Relationship 268 14-2f More Divorce Models 271
14-2g Mobility and Anonymity 271
14-2 Macro Factors Contributing to
14-2h Social Class, Ethnicity, and Culture 271
Divorce 270
14-3 Micro Factors Contributing
14-2a Increased Economic Independence of
to Divorce 271
Women 270
14-2b Changing Family Functions and 14-3a Growing Apart/Differences 272
Structure 270 14-3b Falling Out of Love 272
Bacho/Shutterstock.com
xiv M&F
14-3c Limited Time Together: Video Game Addict 14-4c One Parent May Alienate Their Children
Widow 272 from the Other Parent 277
14-3d Low Frequency of Positive Behavior 272 14-5 Negative and Positive Consequences
14-3e Having an Affair 272 of Divorce for Children 278
14-3f Poor Communication/Conflict Resolution
Skills 272 14-5a How Parents Can Minimize Negative Effects
14-3g Changing Values 273 of Divorce for Children 279
14-3h Onset of Satiation 273 14-6 Prerequisites for Having a “Successful”
14-3i Having the Perception That One Would Be Divorce 281
Happier If Divorced 273 14-7 Remarriage 285
14-3j Top 20 Factors Associated with Divorce 273
14-7a Issues for Those Who Remarry 286
14-4 Consequences of Divorce for Spouses/ 14-7b Stability of Remarriages 287
Parents 276
14-8 Stepfamilies 288
14-4a Financial Consequences of Divorce 276
14-4b Fathers’ Separated from Their 14-8a Developmental Tasks for Stepfamilies 288
Children 277 14-9 Trends in Divorce and Remarriage 290
15 The Later Years 292
15-1 Age and Ageism 292

15-1a Defining Age 293
15-1b Ageism 294
15-1c Theories of Aging 295
15-2 Caregiving for the Frail Elderly: The
“Sandwich Generation” 295
15-3 Issues Confronting the Elderly 298
15-3a Income 298
15-3b Physical Health 299
15-3c Mental Health 300
15-3d Divorce 300
15-3e Retirement 300
15-3f Retirement Communities:
Niche Aging 301
15-3g Sexuality 302
15-4 Successful Aging 303
15-5 Relationships and the Elderly 303
15-5a Dating 303
15-5b Use of Technology to Stay Connected 304
15-5c Relationships between Elderly Spouses 304 15-6b Use of Technology and Death of One’s
15-5d Grandparenthood 305 Partner 307
15-5e Styles of Grandparenting 305 15-6c Preparing for Death 308
15-5f Effect of Divorce on the Grandparent-Child 15-7 Trends and the Elderly in the
Relationship 306 United States 309
15-5g Benefits of Grandparents to
References 311
Grandchildren 306
15-6 The End of One’s Life 306 Name Index 335
15-6a Death of One’s Spouse 307 Subject Index 345
Contents xv
M&F C h a p t e r 1
Marriages
and Families:
An Introduction
S ECT IO NS
1-1 Marriage
“Enjoy the little things in life . . . For one
1-2 Family
day you’ll look back and realize they were
1-3 Changes in Marriage and
the big things.” the Family
— K u r t Vo n n Eg u t, w r i t E r 1-4 Theoretical Frameworks
for Viewing Marriage and
the Family
1-5 Choices in Relationships:
View of the Text
A
s the title of this chapter implies, there is no longer one 1-6 Research: Process
definition or structure of “marriage” and “family” but and Evaluation
various definitions and structures. No longer is marriage
1-7 Trends in Marriage
exclusively a heterosexual relationship but between persons of
and Family
the same sex. And families are no longer two adults and children
but single parent families headed by either a woman or man. In
this chapter we embrace the diversity of marriages and families,
identify how they are changing, suggest a choices framework (as
well as other theoretical views) for marriage/family, and emphasize the need to be cautious
about accepting the findings of research studies in marriage and family. We begin with the
traditional conception of the term marriage.
1-1 Marriage
W
ith all the talk of having no interest in getting married, enjoying singlehood, and
pursuing one’s education/career, “raising a family” remains one of the top values
for undergraduates. In a nationwide study of 165,743 undergraduates in 234 col-
leges and universities, almost three-fourths (73%) identified raising a family as an essential
Rachel Calisto
2 M&F
7
1
Ch a p t er
objective (82% chose financial success as their top goal) (Eagan et al., 2013). In this chapter
we review the definitions and types of marriage and family, various theoretical frameworks,
and how researchers go about conducting M & F research so that we can be more informed
about our own decisions.
Although young adults think of marriage as “love” and “commitment” (Muraco &
m&f
M&F
Curran, 2012), the federal government regards marriage as a legal relationship that binds a
couple together for the reproduction, physical care, and socialization
of children. Each society works out its own details of what mar-
riage is. In the United States, marriage is a legal contract between marriage a legal
a heterosexual couple (although an increasing number of states contract signed by a
are now recognize same-sex marriage) and the state in which they couple with the state
reside, that specifies the economic relationship between the couple in which they reside
(they become joint owners of their income and debt) and encourages that regulates their
sexual fidelity. The fine print of what marriage involves includes economic and sexual
the following elements. relationship.
Chapter 1: Marriages and Families: An Introduction 3
Under the laws of the state, the license means that
spouses will jointly own all future property acquired
and that each will share in the estate of the other. In
Advice father most states, whatever the deceased spouse owns is

legally transferred to the surviving spouse at the time
gave son on his of death. In the event of divorce and unless the couple
has a prenuptial agreement, the property is usually
wedding day: divided equally regardless of the contribution of each
“It’s your fault.” partner. The license also implies the expectation of
sexual fidelity in the marriage. Though less frequent
“If you leave a glass on a table too because of no-fault divorce, infidelity is a legal ground
close to the edge and your wife for both divorce and alimony in some states.
knocks it off, tell your wife—That The marriage license is also an economic authori-
was my fault honey. zation that entitles a spouse to receive payment from a
If your wife leaves the glass too health insurance company for medical bills if the partner
close to the edge and you knock it is insured, to collect Social Security benefits at the death of
off, tell your wife—That was my one’s spouse, and to inherit from the estate of the deceased.
fault honey.” Spouses are also responsible for each other’s debts.
Though the courts are reconsidering the defini-
—Rex Fields, caR salesman tion of what constitutes a “family,” the law is currently
designed to protect spouses, not lovers or cohabitants.
An exception is common-law marriage, in which a
heterosexual couple cohabits and presents themselves
as married; they will be regarded as legally married in
those states that recognize such marriages. Common-
law marriages exist in 14 states. Persons married by
1-1a Elements of Marriage common law who move to a non-common-law state
Several elements comprise the meaning of marriage in are recognized as being married in the state to which
the United States. they move.
Legal Contract Marriage in our society is a legal

contract into which two people of different sexes and “Love is just a system for getting
legal age may enter when they are not already mar- someone to call you darling
ried to someone else. The age required to marry var-
ies by state and is usually from 16 to 18 (most states after sex.”
set 17 or 18 as the requirement). In some states (e.g.,
— Julian BarnEs, writEr
Alabama) individuals can marry at age 14 with paren-
tal or judicial consent. In California, individuals can
marry at any age with parental consent. The marriage
© iStock.com/Natalia Bratslavsky
license certifies that a legally empowered representa-

tive of the state perform the ceremony, often with two
witnesses present. The marriage
common-law contract gives increased power
marriage a marriage to the state. Not only does the
by mutual agreement government dictate who may
between cohabitants marry (e.g., persons of certain
without a marriage age, not currently married) but
license or ceremony also the conditions of divorce
(recognized in some, (e.g., division of property, cus-
but not all, states). tody of children, and child
support).
4 M&F
What’s New? one person, with 4% engaged or married. Of the vari-
ous risk-taking behaviors identified on the question-
naire, eight were identified by 25% or more of the
respondents as behaviors they had participated in.
Taking ChanCEs in These eight are identified below.
RoManTiC RELaTionships Almost three-fourths (72%) of the sample self-iden-
tified as being a “person willing to take chances in my love
Marriage is about love and love is about making
relationship.” However, only slightly over one-third of the
choices—some of them are risky such as moving in
respondents indicated that they considered themselves as
together after knowing each other for a short time,
risk takers in general. These percentages suggest that col-
changing schools to be together, and forgoing condom
lege students may be more likely to engage in risk-taking
usage thinking “this time won’t end in a pregnancy.”
behavior in love relationships than in other areas of their
To assess the degree to which undergraduates take
lives. Both love and alcohol were identified as contexts for
chances in their romantic relationships, 381 students
increasing one’s vulnerability for taking chances in roman-
completed a 64-item questionnaire posted on the Inter-
tic relationships—60% and 66%, respectively. Both being
net (Elliott et al., 2012). The majority of respondents
in love and drinking alcohol (both love and alcohol may
were female (over 80%) and White (approximately
be viewed as drugs) gives one a sense of immunity from
74%). Over half of the respondents (53%) described
danger or allows one to deny danger.
their relationship status as emotionally involved with
Most Frequent Risk-Taking Behaviors in a Romantic

Relationship, N 5 381
Risk-Taking Behavior Percent
Unprotected sex 70
Being involved in a “friends with benefits” relationship 63
Broke up with a partner to explore alternatives 46
Had sex before feeling ready 41
OJO Images Ltd/Alamy
Disconnected with friends because of partner 34

Maintained long-distance relationship (one year) 32
Cheated on partner 30
Being both in love and drinking alcohol can
Lied to partner about being in love 28
increase one’s vulnerability for taking chances
Elliott et al., 2012.
in romantic relationships.
Emotional Relationship Ninety-three percent background are considered more impor-

of married adults in the United States point to love tant criteria for marriage
as their top reason for getting married (Cohn, 2013). than love.
Love is also an important reason for staying married.
Forty-one percent of 4,730 undergraduates reported sexual Monogamy
that they would divorce if they no longer loved their Marital partners expect
spouse (Hall & Knox, 2015). sexual fidelity. Almost
American emphasis on love as a reason to marry two-thirds (66%) of
is not shared throughout the world. Individuals in other 4,695 undergraduates
y
a Curr
cultures (e.g., India and Iran) do not require feelings of agreed with the statement,
e
Chels
love to marry—love is expected to follow, not precede, “I would divorce a spouse

sy of
marriage. In these countries, parental approval and who had an affair” (Hall &
e
Court
similarity of religion, culture, education, and family Knox, 2015).
Legal Responsibility for Children Although associated with obesity and spouses often do not
individuals marry for love and companionship, one of sleep as well as singles since a spouse may snore or
the most important reasons for the existence of mar- bed hog (Rauer, 2013).
riage from the viewpoint of society is to legally bind a
male and a female for the nurture and support of any 1-1b Types of Marriage
children they may have. In our society, child rearing is
Although we think of marriage in the United States
the primary responsibility of the family, not the state.
as involving one man and one woman, other societ-
ies view marriage differently. Polygamy is a form of
“if we don’t shape our kids, they marriage involving more than two spouses. Polygamy
will be shaped by outside forces occurs “throughout the world . . . and is found on all
continents and among adherents of all world religions”
that don’t care what shape our (Zeitzen, 2008). There are three forms of polygamy:
polygyny, polyandry, and pantagamy.
kids are in.”
— lo u i s E H a r t, pa r E n t E d u c ato r polygyny Polygyny involves one husband and two
or more wives and is practiced illegally in the United
Marriage is a relatively stable relationship that States by some religious fundamentalist groups. These
helps ensure that children will have adequate care and groups are primarily in Arizona, New Mexico, and
protection, will be socialized for productive roles in Utah (as well as Canada), and have splintered off from
society, and will not become the burden of those who the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (com-
did not conceive them. Even at divorce, the legal obli- monly known as the Mormon Church). To be clear,
gation of the noncustodial parent to the child is main- the Mormon Church does not practice or condone
tained through child-support payments. polygyny (the church outlawed it in 1890). Those that
split off from the Mormon Church represent only
announcement/Ceremony The legal binding about 5% of Mormons in Utah. The largest offshoot
of a couple is often preceded by an announcement in is called the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ
the local newspaper and then of the Latter-day Saints (FLDS). Members of the
followed by a formal ceremony group feel that the practice of polygyny is God’s will.
polygamy a generic in a church or synagogue. The Although the practice is illegal, polygynous individu-
term referring to a mar- presence of parents, siblings, als are rarely prosecuted because a husband will have
riage involving more and friends at the wedding only one legal wife while the others will be married in
than two spouses. helps to verify the commit- a civil ceremony.
polygyny a form of ment of the partners to each
polygamy in which one other and helps marshal the polyandry The Buddhist Tibetans foster yet
husband has two or social and economic support to another brand of polygamy, referred to as polyandry,
more wives. launch the couple into married in which one wife has two or more (up to five) hus-
life. Most people in our society bands. These husbands, who may be brothers, pool
polyandry a form of their resources to support one wife. Polyandry is a
decide to marry.
polygamy in which one much less common form of polygamy than polygyny.
When married people are
wife has two or more The major reason for polyandry is economic. A family
compared with singles, the dif-
husbands. that cannot afford wives or marriages for each of its
ferences are strikingly in favor
polyamory multiple of the married (see Table 1.1 sons may find a wife for the eldest son only. Polyandry
loves (poly = many; for the benefits of marriage allows the younger brothers to also have sexual access
amorous = love) and and the liabilities of single- to the one wife that the family is able to afford.
is a lifestyle in which hood). The advantages of mar-
lovers embrace the riage over singlehood are true polyamory Polyamory means multiple loves (poly 5
idea of having multiple for first as well as subsequent many; amorous 5 love) and is a lifestyle in which lov-
emotional and sexual marriages. However, just being ers embrace the idea of having multiple emotional and
partners. married is not beneficial to all sexual partners. During the mid-1800s, the Oneida
individuals. Being married is Community of Oneida, New York, embraced a form of
6 M&F
table 1.1 concerned about enduring, intimate
Benefits of Marriage and the Liabilities of Singlehoodit relationships that include sex. A couple
who has a polyamorous relationship
Benefits of Marriage Liabilities of Singlehood
often have an open relationship—a
Health Spouses have fewer hospital Single people are hospitalized stable relationship in which the part-
admissions, see a physician more more often, have fewer medical ners regard their own relationship as
regularly, and are sick less often. checkups, and are sick more often. primary but agree that each may have
They recover from illness/surgery emotional and physical relationships
more quickly. with others.
Longevity Spouses live longer than single Single people die sooner than
people. married people. pantagamy Pantagamy describes
a group marriage in which each mem-
Happiness Spouses report being happier than Single people report less
ber of the group is “married” to the
single people. happiness than married people.
others. Also known as a three-way
Sexual Spouses report being more Single people report being less marriage, examples have existed in
satisfaction satisfied with their sex lives, both satisfied with their sex lives, both Brazil and the Netherlands whereby
physically and emotionally. physically and emotionally. one male was “married” to two
Money Spouses have more economic Single people have fewer females. While these are not legal mar-
resources than single people. economic resources than married riages, they reflect the diversity of life-
people. style preferences and patterns. Theo-
Lower Two can live more cheaply Cost is greater for two singles than retically, the arrangement could be of
expenses together than separately. one couple. any sex, gender, and sexual orientation.
The example in the Netherlands was of
Drug use Spouses have lower rates of drug Single people have higher rates of
a heterosexual man “married” to two
use and abuse. drug use and abuse.
bisexual women.
Connected Spouses are connected to more Single people have fewer The “one-size-fits-all” model of
individuals who provide a support individuals upon whom they can relationships and marriage is nonexis-
system—partner, in-laws, etc. rely for help. tent. Individuals may be described as
Children Rates of high school dropouts, teen Rates of high school dropouts, existing on a continuum from hetero-
pregnancies, and poverty are lower teen pregnancies, and poverty are sexuality to homosexuality, from rural
among children reared in two-parent higher among children reared by to urban dwellers, and from being
homes. single parents. single and living alone to being mar-
History Spouses develop a shared history Single people may lack continuity ried and living in communes. Emo-
across time with significant others. and commitment across time with tional relationships range from being
significant others. close and loving
to being distant
Crime Spouses are less likely to be Single people are more likely to be
and violent. open relationship a
involved in crime. involved in crime.
Family diversity stable relationship in
Loneliness Spouses are less likely to report Single people are more likely to includes two which the partners
loneliness. report being lonely. parents (other regard their own rela-
or same-sex), tionship as primary but
single-parent agree that each may
polyamory (complex marriage—every man was mar- families, blended families, fami- have emotional and
ried to every woman). Today in Louisa, Virginia, half lies with adopted children, mul- physical relationships
of the 100 members of Twin Oaks Intentional Com- tigenerational families, extended with others.
munity are polyamorous in that each partner may families, and families represent- pantagamy a group
have several emotional or physical relationships with ing different racial, religious, marriage in which
others at the same time. Although not legally married, and ethnic backgrounds. Diver- each member of the
these adults view themselves as emotionally bonded sity is the term that accurately group is “married” to
to each other and may even rear children together. describes marriage and family the others.
Polyamory is not swinging, as polyamorous lovers are relationships today.
recognized as a social unit, including adopted people. The
1-2 Family family is regarded as the basic social institution because

of its important functions of procreation and socializa-
M
tion, and because it is found in some form in all societies.
ost people who marry choose to have chil-
Same-sex couples (e.g., Ellen DeGeneres and her
dren and become a family. However, the
partner) certainly define themselves as family. Increas-
definition of what constitutes a family is
ingly, more states are recognizing marriages between
sometimes unclear. This section examines how families
same-sex individuals. Short of marriage, some states
are defined, their numerous types, and how marriages
recognize committed gay relationships as civil unions
and families have changed in the past sixty years.
(pair-bonded relationships given legal significance in
terms of rights and privileges).
1-2a Definitions of Family Although other states may not recognize same-sex
The U.S. Census Bureau defines family as a group of marriages or civil unions (and thus people moving from these
two or more people related by blood, marriage, or adop- states to another state lose the privileges associated with
tion. This definition has been challenged because it does marriage), over 24 cities and countries (including Canada)
not include foster families or long-term couples who live recognize some form of domestic partnership. Domestic
together. Marshall (2013) surveyed 105 faculty members partnerships are relationships in which cohabitating
from 19 Ph.D. marriage and family therapy programs individuals are given some kind of official recognition
and found no universal agreement on the definition of by a city or corporation so as to receive partner benefits
the family. Same-gender couples, children of same gender (e.g., health insurance). Disney recognizes domestic part-
couples, and children with nonresidential parents were nerships. Walmart offers benefits to same-sex partners.
sometimes excluded from the definition of the family. Domestic partnerships do not confer any federal recogni-
The answer to the question “Who is family?” is tion or benefits.
important because access to resources such as health Some view their pets as part of their family. About
care, Social Security, and retire- 60% of Americans own a pet. In a Gallo Family Vine-
ment benefits is involved. Unless yard survey of 691 pet owners, 93% agreed that their
family a group of two cohabitants are recognized by the pet was a part of the family (Payne & Bravo, 2013).
or more people related state in which they reside as in a Examples of treating pets like children include living
by blood, marriage, or “domestic partnership,” cohabi- only where there is a fenced-in backyard, feeding the
adoption. tants are typically not viewed as pet a special diet, hanging a stocking and/or buying
civil union a pair- “family” and are not accorded presents for the pet at Christmas, buying “clothes” for
bonded relationship health benefits, Social Security, the pet, and leaving money in one’s will for the care
given legal significance and retirement benefits of the of the pet. Some pet owners buy accident insurance—
in terms of rights and partner. Indeed, the “live-in part- Progressive© insurance covers pets. And pets are now
privileges. ner” may not be allowed to see the legal subject of divorce—the divorcing parties are
the beloved in the hospital, which granted custody and visitation rights to the animals of
domestic limits visitation to “family only.” the couple (Gregory, 2010).
partnership a The definition of who
relationship in which counts as family is being chal-
individuals who live lenged. In some cases, families 1-2b Types
together are emotion-
ally and financially
are being defined by function of Families Cou
rather than by structure—what rte
sy
of C
interdependent and are is the level of emotional and There are various types aro
line
Sch
given some kind of offi- financial commitment and inter- of families. ach
t
cial recognition by a city dependence between the part-
or corporation so as to ners? How long have they lived Family of origin Also
receive partner benefits. together? Do the partners view referred to as the family
family of orientation themselves as a family? of orientation, this is
the family of origin into Sociologically, a family is the family into
which a person is born. defined as a kinship system of which you
all relatives living together or were born
8 M&F
or the family in which you were reared. It involves you, presumably the only feasible adjustment to a series of
your parents, and your siblings. When you go to your par- basic needs, forms a crucial part of the environment in
ents’ home for the holidays, you return to your family of which every individual grows to maturity” (p. 11).
origin. Your experiences in your family of origin have an The universality of the nuclear family has been
impact on your own relationships. If you grew up in a lov- questioned. In Sex at Dawn, Ryan and Jetha (2010)
ing intact family, you have a different set of expectations reviewed cross-cultural data and emphasized that the
than if your parents were conflictual, divorced, and do not terms marriage and family do not have universal mean-
speak to each other today. Indeed, positive mother–father ings. In some groups, adults have sexual relationships
relationship quality is linked to children’s outcomes. In a with various partners throughout their life and view
study of 773 parents, those reporting having stable and themselves as mothers and fathers to all of the children
supportive relationships also reported fewer behavioral in the community. Children in these villages view all
problems with their children who were ages 3 through 9. adults as their mother and father.
The researchers also found that marital relationship qual- Dr. Robert Bunger (2014) is a premier anthropolo-
ity and children’s behavioral problems were reciprocally gist. His reaction to the thesis of Sex at Dawn follows:
related (Goldberg & Carlson, 2014).
Siblings in one’s family of origin provide a profound in my opinion the idea that everyone had sex with
influence on one another’s behavior and emotional devel- whomever and that all adults were parents of
opment and adjustment (McHale et al., 2012). Meinhold everyone’s children is utter nonsense. louis Henry
et al. (2006) noted that the relationship with one’s siblings, morgan in Ancient Society (published in the 19th
particularly the sister–sister relationship, represents the century) suggested that early humans lived in a
most enduring relationship in a person’s lifetime. Sisters state of “primitive promiscuity”
who lived near one another and who did not have children and the idea was taken up by family of origin the
reported the greatest amount of intimacy and contact. marx and engels. i do not know family into which an
Family of procreation The family of procreation of any society that actually lives individual is born or
represents the family that you will begin should you that way. The muria Ghond of reared, usually includ-
marry and have children. Of U.S. citizens living in the india have a system whereby ing a mother, father,
United States 65 years old and over, 96% have mar- the young people, between and children.
ried and established their own family of procreation puberty and marriage, live in
family of procreation
(Statistical Abstract of the United States, 2012–2013, a group marriage where every-
the family a person
Table 34). Across the life cycle, individuals move from one is allowed to have sex with begins by getting
the family of orientation to the family of procreation. everyone else of the other sex. married and having
at some point they drop out and children.
nuclear Family The nuclear family refers to either settle into monogamous mar-
a family of origin or a family of procreation. In prac- nuclear family
riage. i do not think that there
tice, this means that your nuclear family consists of you, family consisting of an
is any traditional society where
your parents, and your siblings; or you, your spouse, and individual, his or her
group marriage for adults is the
your children. Generally, one-parent households are not spouse, and his or her
norm. i think that some commu-
referred to as nuclear families. They are binuclear fami- children, or of an indi-
nal movements like the amana
lies if both parents are involved in the child’s life or sin- vidual and his or her
gle-parent families if one parent is involved in the child’s society tried group marriage
parents and siblings.
life and the other parent is totally out of the picture. but later gave it up.
traditional family
is the nuclear Family Universal? Sociologist Traditional, Modern, and the two-parent nuclear
George Peter Murdock’s classic study (1949) emphasized postmodern Family Soci- family with the hus-
that the nuclear family is a “universal social grouping” ologists have identified three band as breadwinner
found in all of the 250 societies he studied. The nuclear central concepts of the family. and wife as homemaker.
family channels sexual energy between two adult part- The traditional family is the
modern family the
ners who reproduce and also cooperate in the care of two-parent nuclear family, with
dual-earner family, in
offspring and their socialization to be productive mem- the husband as breadwinner
which both spouses
bers of society. “This universal social structure, produced and the wife as homemaker. The
work outside the home.
through cultural evolution in every human society, as modern family is the dual-earner
table 1.2
Differences between Marriage and the Family in the United States
Marriage Family
Usually initiated by a formal ceremony. Formal ceremony not essential.
Involves two people. Usually involves more than two people.
Ages of the individuals tend to be similar. Individuals represent more than one generation.
Individuals usually choose each other. Members are born or adopted into the family.
Ends when spouse dies or is divorced. Continues beyond the life of the individual.
Sex between spouses is expected and approved. Sex between near kin is neither expected nor approved.
Requires a license. No license needed to become a parent.
Procreation expected. Consequence of procreation.
Spouses are focused on each other. Focus changes with addition of children.
Spouses can voluntarily withdraw from marriage. Parents cannot divorce themselves from obligations to children via
divorce.
Money in unit is spent on the couple. Money is used for the needs of children.
Recreation revolves around adults. Recreation revolves around children.
Reprinted by permission of Dr. Lee Axelson.
family, in which both spouses blended family when parents remarry and bring addi-
work outside the home. tional children into the respective units.
postmodern family Postmodern families rep-
resent a departure from these Extended Family The extended family includes
nontraditional families
not only the nuclear family (or parts of it) but other
emphasizing that a models and include lesbian or
relatives as well. These relatives include grandpar-
healthy family need gay couples and mothers who
ents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. An example of an
not be heterosexual or are single by choice (Silverstein
extended family living together would be a husband
have two parents. & Auerbach, 2005).
and wife, their children, and the husband’s parents (the
binuclear family children’s grandparents). Asians are more likely than
family in which the Binuclear Family A
Anglo-Americans to live with their extended families.
members live in two binuclear family is a family in
However, commitment to the elderly may be chang-
households. which the members live in two
ing as a result of the westernization of Asian countries
separate households. This fam-
blended family a such as China, Japan, and Korea.
ily type is created when the par-
family created when The terms marriage and family are often thought
ents of the children divorce and
two individuals marry to be the same. Table 1.2 identifies the differences.
live separately, setting up two
and at least one of separate units, with the children
them brings a child or
children from a previ-
remaining a part of each unit.
Each of these units may also 1-3 Changes in
ous relationship or mar-
riage. also referred to
change again when the parents Marriage and
as a stepfamily.
remarry and bring additional
children into the respective units
Family
(blended family). Hence, the
W
extended family
the nuclear family or children may go from a nuclear hatever family we experience today was dif-
parts of it plus other family with both parents, to ferent previously and will change yet again.
relatives. a binuclear unit with parents A look back at some changes in marriage
living in separate homes, to a and the family follow.
10 M&F
Photographee.eu/Shutterstock.com
1-3a The industrial Revolution
and Family Change
The Industrial Revolution refers to the social and eco-
nomic changes that occurred when machines and fac-
tories, rather than human labor, became the dominant
mode for the production of goods. Industrialization
occurred in the United States during the early- and
mid-1800s and represents one of the most profound
influences on the family.
Before industrialization, families functioned as
an economic unit that produced goods and services
for its own consumption. Parents and children worked Families from familistic cultures such as
together in or near the home to meet the survival needs China who immigrate to the United States
of the family. As the United States became industrialized, soon discover that their norms, roles, and
more men and women left the home to sell their labor values are challenged.
for wages. The family was no longer a self-sufficient unit
that determined its work hours. Rather, employers deter- familism (e.g., focus on what is important for the fam-
mined where and when family members would work. ily) and the rise of individualism (focus on what it
Whereas children in preindustrialized America worked important for the individual). When family members
on farms and contributed to the economic survival of the functioned together as an economic unit, they were
family, children in industrialized America became eco- dependent on one another for survival and were con-
nomic liabilities rather than assets. Child labor laws and cerned about what was good for the family. This familis-
mandatory education removed children from the labor tic focus on the needs of the family has since shifted to a
force and lengthened their dependence on parental sup- focus on self-fulfillment—individualism. Families from
port. Eventually, both parents had to work away from familistic cultures such as China who immigrate to the
the home to support their children. The dual-income United States soon discover that their norms, roles, and
family had begun. values begin to alter in reference to the industrialized,
During the Industrial Revolution, urbanization urbanized, individualistic patterns and thinking. Individ-
occurred as cities were built around factories and families ualism and the quest for personal fulfillment are thought
moved to the city to work in the factories. Living space in to have contributed to high divorce rates, absent fathers,
cities was crowded and expensive, which contributed to and parents spending less time with their children.
a decline in the birthrate and thus smaller families. The Hence, although the family is sometimes blamed
development of transportation systems during the Indus- for juvenile delinquency, violence, and divorce, it is more
trial Revolution made it possible for family members to accurate to emphasize changing social norms and condi-
travel to work sites away from the home and to move tions of which the family is a part. When industrialization
away from extended kin. With increased mobility, many takes parents out of the home so that they can no longer
extended families became separated into smaller nuclear be constant nurturers and supervisors, the likelihood
family units consisting of parents and their children. of aberrant acts by their children/
As a result of parents leaving the home to earn wages adolescents increases. One expla-
and the absence of extended kin in or near the family nation for school violence is that familism philosophy
household, children had less adult supervision and moral absent, career-focused parents in which decisions are
guidance. Unsupervised children roamed the streets, have failed to provide close super- made in reference to
increasing the potential for crime and delinquency. vision for their children. what is best for the fam-
Industrialization also affected the role of the ily as a collective unit.
father in the family. Employment outside the home 1-3b Changes in individualism phi-
removed men from playing a primary role in child care losophy in which deci-
and in other domestic activities. The contribution men the Last 65 Years sions are made on the
made to the household became primarily economic. Enormous changes have occurred basis of what is best
Finally, the advent of industrialization, urban- in marriage and the family since for the individual.
ization, and mobility is associated with the demise of the 1950s. Table 1.3 reflects
table 1.3
Changes in Marriages and Families,1950 and 2015
1950 2015
Family Strong values for marriage and the family. Individuals Individuals who remain single or child free experience social
relationship who wanted to remain single or child free are understanding and sometimes encouragement. Single
values considered deviant, even pathological. Husband and and childfree people are no longer considered deviant or
wife should not be separated by jobs or careers. pathological but are seen as self-actuating individuals with
strong job or career commitments. Husbands and wives can be
separated for reasons of job or career and live in a commuter
marriage. Married women in large numbers have left the role of
full-time mother and housewife to join the labor market.
Gender roles Rigid gender roles, with men dominant and earning Egalitarian gender roles with both spouses earning income.
income while wives stay home, taking care of children. Greater involvement of men in fatherhood.
Sexual values Marriage was regarded as the only appropriate context For many, concerns about safer sex have taken precedence over the
for intercourse in middle-class America. Living together marital context for sex. Virginity is rarely exchanged for anything.
is unacceptable, and a child born out of wedlock was Living together is regarded as not only acceptable but sometimes
stigmatized. Virginity is sometimes exchanged for preferable to marriage. For some, unmarried single parenthood is
marital commitment. regarded as a lifestyle option. Hooking up is new courtship norm.
Homogamous Strong social pressure exists to date and marry within Dating and mating have become more heterogamous, with
mating one’s own racial, ethnic, religious, and social class group. more freedom to select a partner outside one’s own racial,
Emotional and legal attachments are heavily influenced ethnic, religious, and social class group. Attachments are more
by obligation to parents and kin. often by choice.
Cultural silence Intimate relationships are not an appropriate subject for Individuals on talk shows, interviews, and magazine surveys are
on intimate the media. open about sexuality and relationships behind closed doors.
relationships
Divorce Society strongly disapproves of divorce. Familistic values Divorce has replaced death as the endpoint of a majority of
encouraged spouses to stay married for the children. marriages. Less stigma is associated with divorce. Individualistic
Strong legal constraints keep couples together. Marriage values lead spouses to seek personal happiness. No-fault
is forever. divorce allows for easy severance. Marriage is tenuous.
Increasing numbers of children are being reared in single-
parent households apart from other relatives.
Familism Families are focused on the needs of children. Mothers Adult agenda of work and recreation has taken on increased
versus stay home to ensure that the needs of their children are importance, with less attention being given to children.
individualism met. Adult concerns are less important. Children are viewed as more sophisticated and capable of
thinking as adults, which frees adults to pursue their own
interests. Day care is used regularly.
Homosexuality Same-sex emotional and sexual relationships are a Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage. Gay relationships
culturally hidden phenomenon. Gay relationships are are, increasingly, a culturally open phenomenon (e.g., television
not socially recognized. sitcoms, gay athletes).
Scientific Aside from Kinsey’s, few studies are conducted on Acceptance of scientific study of marriage and intimate
scrutiny intimate relationships. relationships.
Family housing Husbands and wives live in same house. Husbands and wives may “live apart together” (LAT), which
means that, although they are emotionally and economically
connected, they (by choice) maintain two households, houses,
condos, or apartments.
Technology Nonexistent except phone. Use of iphones, texting, sexting, Facebook.
12 M&F
some of these changes. One of the most obvious A social exchange view of marital
changes is technology. Marriage relationships roles emphasizes that spouses negoti-
are initiated, developed, and maintained ate the division of labor on the basis of
with cell phone technology. Individuals exchange. For example, a man partici-
stay in contact with each other all day via pates in child care in exchange for his
text messaging. We will discuss the impact wife earning an income, which relieves
of technology on relationships in greater him of the total financial responsibility.
detail in Chapter 5 on communication and Social exchange theorists also emphasize
technology. that power in relationships is the ability
In spite of the persistent and dra- to influence, and avoid being influenced
matic changes in marriage and the family, by, the partner.
marriage and the family continue to be Albert Einstein’s second marriage to
resilient. Using this marriage-resilience Elsa Einstein provides another example of
perspective, changes in the institution of exchange. “She was an efficient and lively
marriage are not viewed negatively nor are woman, who was eager to serve and pro-
they indicative that marriage is in a state of tect him . . . . He was pleased to be looked
decline. Indeed, these changes are thought after . . . which
to have “few negative consequences for allowed him to marriage-resilience
adults, children, or the wider society” spend hours in perspective the view
(Amato et al., 2007, p. 6). a rather dreamy that changes in the
Courtesy of E Fred Johnson, Jr.
state, focusing institution of marriage
more on the cosmos than on the are not indicative of a
world around him.” (Isaacson, decline and do not have
1-4 Theoretical 2007, p. 247). negative effects.
Frameworks for theoretical

framework a set of
1-4b Family
Viewing Marriage interrelated principles
and the Family Life Course designed to explain a
Development particular phenomenon
A
ll theoretical frameworks are the same in and to provide a point
that they provide a set of interrelated principles
Framework of view.
designed to explain a particular phenomenon The family life course
social exchange
and provide a point of view. In essence, theories are development framework
framework spouses
explanations. The more common frameworks follow. emphasizes the important role
exchange resources,
transitions of individuals that
and decisions are made
occur in different periods of life
1-4a social Exchange on the basis of per-
and in different social contexts.
Framework For example, young unmarried
ceived profit and loss.
The social exchange framework is one of the most lovers may become cohabitants, utilitarianism the
commonly used theoretical perspectives in marriage then parents, grandparents, doctrine holding that
and the family. The framework views interaction and retirees, and widows. The family individuals rationally
choices in terms of cost and profit. It operates from a life cycle is a basic set of stages weigh the rewards and
premise of utilitarianism —the theory that individu- through which not all individu- costs associated with
als rationally weigh the rewards and costs associated als pass (e.g., the childfree) and behavioral choices.
with behavioral choices. Vespa (2013) studied cohabi- in which there is great diversity, family life course
tants age 50 and older and found that unhealthy but particularly in regard to race and development the
wealthy males were more likely to marry—they trade education (e.g., African Ameri- stages and process of
their wealth/agreement to marry for caregiving by cans are less likely to marry; the how families change
a female who needs economic support/wants to be highly educated are less likely to over time.
married. divorce) (Cherlin, 2010).
The family life course developmental framework discovered in the 1970s; she had been kept in isolation
has its basis in sociology (e.g., role transitions), whereas in one room in her California home for 12 years by her
the family life cycle has its basis in psychology, which abusive father (James, 2008). She could barely walk and
emphasizes the various developmental tasks family mem- could not talk. Although provided intensive therapy at
bers face across time (e.g., marriage, childbearing, pre- UCLA and the object of thousands of dollars of funded
school, school-age children, teenagers). If developmental research, Genie progressed only slightly. Today, she is
tasks at one stage are not accomplished, functioning in in her late 50s, institutionalized, and speechless. Her
subsequent stages will be impaired. For example, one of story illustrates the need for socialization; the legal
the developmental tasks of early American marriage is to bond of marriage and the obligation to nurture and
emotionally and financially separate from one’s family socialize offspring help to ensure that this socializa-
of origin. If such separation from parents does not take tion will occur.
place, independence as individuals and as a couple may Second, marriage and the family promote the
be impaired. emotional stability of the respective spouses. Society
cannot provide enough counselors to help us whenever
1-4c structure-Function we have emotional issues/problems. Marriage ideally
provides in-residence counselors who are loving and
Framework caring partners with whom people share (and receive
The structure-function framework emphasizes how help for) their most difficult experiences.
marriage and family contribute to society. Just as the Children also need people to love them and to give
human body is made up of different parts that work them a sense of belonging. This need can be fulfilled in
together for the good of the individual, society is made a variety of family contexts (two-parent families, single-
up of different institutions (e.g., family, religion, edu- parent families, extended families). The affective function
cation, economics) that work together for the good of of the family is one of its major offerings. No other insti-
society. Functionalists (structure-function theorists) tution focuses so completely on meeting the emotional
view the family as an institution with values, norms, needs of its members as marriage and the family.
and activities meant to provide stability for the larger Third, families provide economic support for their
society. Such stability depends on families performing members. Although modern families are no longer self-
various functions for society. sufficient economic units, they provide food, shelter, and
First, families serve to clothing for their members. One need only consider the
replenish society with socialized homeless in our society to be reminded of this impor-
members. Because our society tant function of the family.
family life
cannot continue to exist with- In addition to the primary functions of replace-
cycle stages which
out new members, we must have ment, emotional stability, and economic support, other
identify the various
some way of ensuring a continu- functions of the family include the following:
challenges faced by
ing supply. However, just having
members of a family ■ Physical care. Families provide the primary care for
new members is not enough. We
across time. their infants, children, and aging parents. Other
need socialized members—those
structure-function who can speak our language and agencies (neonatal units, day care centers, assisted-
framework empha- know the norms and roles of living residences, shelters) may help, but the fam-
sizes how marriage and our society. Girgis et al. (2011) ily remains the primary and recurring caretaker.
family contribute to the emphasized that “societies rely Spouses also show concern about the physical health
larger society. on families to produce upright of each other by encouraging each other to take
people who make for consci- medications and to see a doctor.
functionalists struc-
tural functionalist entious, law-abiding citizens ■ Regulation of sexual behavior. Spouses are expected
theorists who view the lessening the demand for gov- to confine their sexual behavior to each other, which
family as an institution ernmental policing and social reduces the risk of having children who do not have
with values, norms, services” (p. 245). socially and legally bonded parents, and of contract-
and activities meant to Disaster is the result for a ing or spreading sexually transmitted infections.
provide stability for the child born into a family which
larger society. does not function properly. ■ Status placement. Being born into a family provides
Genie is a young girl who was social placement of the individual in society. One’s
14 M&F
family of origin largely determines one’s social class, ■ Social control. Spouses in high-quality, durable mar-
religious affiliation, and future occupation. Baby Prince riages provide social control for each other that results
George Alexander Louis, son of Kate Middleton and in less criminal behavior. Parole boards often note
Prince William of the royal family of Great Britain, that the best guarantee against recidivism is a spouse
was born into the upper class and is destined to be in who expects the partner to get a job and avoid crimi-
politics by virtue of being born into a political family. nal behavior and who reinforces these behaviors.
Personal View:
”I Was Stolen from
My Family”
John D. Kisch/Separate Cinema Archive/Getty Images

T
he government is an institution that has
an enormous impact on family life. A
dramatic example is the Australian gov-
ernment policy in regard to Aboriginal chil-
dren. In Australia, between 1885 and 1969,
between 50 and 100 thousand half caste (one
White parent) Aboriginal children were taken
Rabbit Proof Fence is a 2002 film that
by force from their parents by the Australian tells the story of Aboriginal children
police. The rationale by the White society was who were taken by force from their
that it wanted to convert these children to parents by the Australian government
between 1885 and 1969.
Christianity and to destroy their Aboriginal
culture which was viewed as primitive and
without value. The children were forced to was a horrible experience for me. I couldn’t stand
walk or were taken by camel hundreds of the feel of the cloth touching my skin (p. 35).
miles away from their parents to church mis- The australian government subsequently apolo-
sions. (See the Rabbit-Fence Proof DVD.) gized for the laws and policies of successive parlia-
ments and governments that inflicted profound grief,
Bob Randall (2008) is one of the children who was
suffering, and loss on the aborigines. He noted that the
taken by force from his parents at age 7, never to see
aborigines continue to be marginalized and nothing
them again. He was, literally, stolen from his family—
has been done to compensate for the horror of taking
physically taken from his mother and taken away, never
children from their families.
to see her again. Of his experience, he wrote,
Bob Randall visited the marriage and family class
Instead of the wide open spaces of my desert of the author, told of his being taken away from his
home, we were housed in corrugated iron dor- mother, and sang “Brown skin Baby (They Took me
mitories with rows and rows of bunk beds. After away).” a video of his singing and playing this song
dinner we were bathed by the older women, put close to where he was taken away in australia over
in clothing they called pajamas, and then tucked 60 years ago has been posted to YouTube by the
into one of the iron beds between the sheets. This Global Oneness Project.
C hCahpat pe tr e 1r : 1M: aMr ar ir ar igae gs e as nadn Fd a Fma im

l i iel si e: sA: nA Inn It nr ot rdoudc ut ic ot ino n 15
15
1-4d Conflict Framework 1-4e symbolic interaction
Conflict framework views individuals in relation- Framework
ships as competing for valuable resources (e.g., time,
The symbolic interaction framework views mar-
money, power). Conflict theorists recognize that family
riages and families as symbolic worlds in which the var-
members have different goals and values that produce
ious members give meaning to one another’s behavior.
conflict. Adolescents want freedom (e.g., stay out all
Human behavior can be understood only by the mean-
night with new love interest) while parents want their
ing attributed to behavior. Curran et al. (2010) assessed
child to get a good night’s sleep, not get pregnant, and
the meaning of marriage for 31 African Americans of
stay on track in school.
different ages and found that the two most common
Conflict theorists also view conflict not as good
meanings were commitment and love. Herbert Blumer
or bad but as a natural and normal part of relation-
(1969) used the term symbolic interaction to refer
ships. They regard conflict as necessary for the change
to the process of interpersonal interaction. Concepts
and growth of individuals, marriages, and families.
inherent in this framework include the definition of the
Cohabitation relationships, marriages, and families
situation, the looking-glass self, and the self-fulfilling
all have the potential for conflict. Cohabitants are in
prophecy.
conflict about commitment to marry, spouses
are in conflict about the division of labor, Definition of the situation Two
and parents are in conflict with people who have just spotted each other
their children over rules such as at a party are constantly defining the
curfew, chores, and homework. situation and responding to those
These three units may also be definitions. Is the glance from
in conflict with other systems. the other person (1) an invi-
For example, cohabitants are tation to approach, (2) an
in conflict with the economic approach, or (3) a misinter-
institution for health benefits pretation—was he or she looking
for their partners. Similarly, Levent Konuk/Shutterstock.com at someone else? The definition used
employed parents are in con- will affect subsequent interaction.
flict with their employers for flexible work hours, Getting married also has different definitions/
maternity or paternity benefits, and day care facilities. meanings. For “marriage naturalists” it is an event
Conflict theory is also helpful in understanding that is a natural progression of a relationship (often
choices in relationships with regard to mate selection begun in high school) and is expected of oneself, one’s
and jealousy. Unmarried individuals in search of a part- partner, and both of their families. Persons in rural
ner are in competition with other unmarried individuals areas more often have this view. In contrast, “marriage
for the scarce resources of a desirable mate. Such con- planners” are more metropolitan and view marriage
flict is particularly evident in the case of older women as an event one “gets ready for” by completing one’s
in competition for men. At age college or graduate school education, establishing
conflict framework 85 and older, there are twice as oneself in a job/career, and maturing emotionally and
view that individu- many women (3.7 million) as psychologically. These individuals may cohabit and
als in relationships there are men (1.8 million) (Sta- have children before they decide to marry (Kefalas
compete for valuable tistical Abstract of the United et al., 2011).
resources. States, 2012–2013, Table 7).
Jealousy is also sometimes about
symbolic Looking-glass self The image people have of
scarce resources. People fear that
interaction themselves is a reflection of what other people tell
their “one and only” will be sto-
framework views them about themselves (Cooley, 1964). People develop
len by someone else who has no
marriage and families an idea of who they are by the way others act toward
partner. Thus wives are aware of
as symbolic worlds in them. If no one looks at or speaks to them, they will
how much time their husbands
which the various mem- begin to feel unsettled, according to Charles Cooley.
spend talking to the attractive
bers give meaning to Similarly, family members constantly hold up social
newly divorced female at a social
each other’s behavior. mirrors for one another into which the respective
gathering. members look for definitions of self.
16 M&F
G. H. Mead (1934), a classic symbolic interaction- rather than being locked into one role. In problem
ist, believed that people are not passive sponges but families, one family member is often allocated the role
that they evaluate the perceived appraisals of others, of scapegoat, or the cause of all the family’s problems
accepting some opinions and not others. Although some (e.g., an alcoholic spouse).
parents teach their children that they are worthless, Family systems may be open, in that they are
these children may reject the definition by believing receptive to information and interaction with the out-
in more positive social mirrors from friends, teachers, side world, or closed, in that they feel threatened by
and lovers. such contact. The Amish have a closed family system
and minimize contact with the outside world. Some
self-Fulfilling prophecy Once people define communes also encourage minimal outside exposure.
situations and the behaviors in which they are expected Twin Oaks Intentional Community of Louisa, Virginia,
to engage, they are able to behave toward one another does not permit any of its almost 100 members to
in predictable ways. Such predictability of behavior own a television or keep one in their room. Exposure
affects subsequent behavior. If you feel that your part- to the negative drumbeat of the evening news is seen
ner expects you to be faithful, your behavior is likely as harmful.
to conform to these expectations. The expectations Holmes et al. (2013) used a family systems per-
thus create a self-fulfilling prophecy. spective to explain the transition of spouses and their
marriage to parenthood. The researchers noted that
1-4f Family systems it is the context that must be considered to under-
stand changes. For example, having a daughter is
Framework associated with more conflict for fathers across time,
The family systems framework views each member and this impacts the interaction of the wife with her
of the family as part of a system and the family as a husband.
unit that develops norms of interacting, which may
be explicit (e.g., parents specify when their children
“Feminism is the radical notion
must stop texting for the evening and complete home-
work) or implicit (e.g., spouses expect fidelity from that women are people.”
each other). These rules serve various functions, such
as the allocation of keeping the education of offspring — a n i d i F r a n co, a m E r i c a n s i n g E r
on track and solidifying the emotional bond of the
spouses.
Rules are most efficient if they are flexible (e.g., 1-4g Feminist Framework
they should be adjusted over time in response to a Although a feminist framework views marriage
child’s growing competence). A rule about not leaving and family as contexts of inequality and oppression
the yard when playing may be appropriate for a 4-year- for women, there are 11 feminist perspectives, includ-
old but inappropriate for a 16-year-old. ing lesbian feminism (emphasizing oppressive het-
Family members also develop boundaries that erosexuality), psychoanalytic
define the individual and the group and separate one feminism (focusing on cultural
system or subsystem from another. A boundary may be domination of men’s phallic-ori- family systems
physical, such as a closed bedroom door, or social, such ented ideas and repressed emo- framework views
as expectations that family problems will not be aired tions), and standpoint feminism each member of the
in public. Boundaries may also be emotional, such as (stressing the neglect of wom- family as part of a
communication, which maintains closeness or distance en’s perspective and experiences system and the family
in a relationship. Some family systems are cold and in the production of knowledge) as a unit that develops
abusive; others are warm and nurturing. (Lorber, 1998). Regardless of norms of interaction.
In addition to rules and boundaries, family sys- which feminist framework is feminist framework
tems have roles (leader, follower, scapegoat) for the being discussed, all feminist views marriage and
respective family members. These roles may be shared frameworks have the themes of the family as contexts
by more than one person or may shift from person to inequality and oppression. Fem- for inequality and
person during an interaction or across time. In healthy inists seek equality in their rela- oppression.
families, individuals are allowed to alternate roles tionships with their partners.
1-5 Choices in
Relationships:
View of the Text
W
hile the previous theoretical frameworks are
useful in understanding marriage and the
family, in this text we encourage a proac-
Jane0606/Shutterstock.com
tive approach of taking charge of your life and making
wise relationship choices. Making the right choices in
your relationships, including marriage and family, is
critical to your health, happiness, and sense of well-
being. Your times of greatest elation and sadness will
be in reference to your love relationships. action Must Follow a Choice While the
Although we have many choices to make in our private life of Woody Allen has been the subject of
society, among the most important are whether to public dismay (e.g., he married his long-time part-
marry, whom to marry, when to marry, whether to have ner’s adopted daughter), he is one of the few Hol-
children, whether to remain emotionally and sexually lywood directors who is given complete control over
faithful to one’s partner, and whether to protect oneself all aspects of his films. His success began with a
from sexually transmitted infections and unwanted decision to become a stand-up comedian and make
pregnancy. Though structural and cultural influences a name for himself, then use this influence to launch
are operative, a choices framework emphasizes that his film career. His biographer writes, “Woody is
individuals have some control over their relationship nothing if he is not deliberate. Decisions may take
destiny by making deliberate choices to initiate, nurture, a long while to be made, but once his mind is made
or terminate intimate relationships. up to do something, he devotes all his effort to it”
(Lax 1991, p. 156). While in his twenties, Allen per-
“things do not happen. things formed two to three shows a night to small, 50-per-
son audiences six nights a week ($75 to $100 a
are made to happen.” week) for two years. He was beset with the fear of
“going live,” exhausted at the grueling schedule, and
— J o H n F. K E n n E dy, 3 5 t H p r E s i d E n t
doubted the future (should he quit?). He persevered,
pushed through another six months, got his break,
1-5a Facts about Choices and moved forward.
in Relationships
“in any moment of decision, the
The facts to keep in mind when making relationship
choices include the following. best thing you can do is the
not to Decide is to Decide Not making a
right thing, the next best
decision is a decision by default. If you are sexually thing is the wrong thing,
active and decide not to use a condom, you have made
a decision to increase your risk for contracting a sexu-
and the worst thing you can
ally transmissible infection, including HIV. If you do do is nothing.”
not make a deliberate choice to end a relationship that
is unfulfilling, abusive, or going nowhere, you have —t H Eo d o r E r o o s E V E lt, 2 6t H p r E s i d E n t
made a choice to continue in that relationship and
have little chance of getting into a more positive and some Choices Require Correction Some
satisfying relationship. If you do not make a decision of our choices, although appearing correct at the
to be faithful to your partner, you have made a deci- time that we make them, turn out to be disasters.
sion to be vulnerable to cheating. Once we realize that a choice is having consistently
18 M&F
negative consequences, we need to stop defending the
old choice, reverse the position, make new choices,
and move forward. Otherwise, one remains consis-
tently locked into continued negative outcomes of
“bad” choices. For example, choosing a partner who
Skylines/Shutterstock.com
was loving and kind but who turns out to be abu-
sive and dangerous requires correcting that choice. To
stay in the abusive relationship will have predictable
disastrous consequences. To make the decision to dis-
engage and to move on opens the opportunity for a
loving relationship with another partner. In the mean- Choices include selecting a positive or
time, living alone may be a better alternative than liv- negative View As Thomas Edison progressed
ing in a relationship in which you are abused and may toward inventing the light bulb, he said, “I have not
end up dead. Other examples of making corrections failed. I have found ten thousand ways that won’t
involve ending dead or loveless relationships (perhaps work.” Ron Wayne, negotiating with Steve Jobs, was
after investing time and effort to improve the relation- offered a 10% share in the computer giant Apple
ship or love feelings), changing jobs or career, and when it started up, but he was ambivalent since he
changing friends. would have to invest money that he feared he would
lose and thus he did not invest. In early 2011, his
Choices involve Trade-offs By making one 10% stake would have been worth approximately
choice, you relinquish others. Every relationship choice $2.6 billion. Later in life he said that he was not bitter
you make will have a downside and an upside. If you and had made the best decision at the time (Isaacson,
decide to stay in a relationship that becomes a long- 2011, p. 65).
distance relationship, you are continuing involve-
ment in a relationship that is obviously important to
you. However, you may spend a lot of time alone and “Nothing is either good or bad
wonder if you made the right decision to continue the but thinking makes it so.”
relationship. If you decide to marry, you will give up
your freedom to pursue other emotional and/or sexual —william sHaKEspE arE,HamlEt
relationships, and you will also give up some of your
control over how you spend your money—but you In spite of an unfortunate event in your life, you
may also get a wonderful companion with whom to can choose to see the bright side. Regardless of your
share life. Any partner that you select will also have circumstances, you can opt for viewing a situation in
characteristics that must be viewed as a trade-off. One positive terms. A breakup with a partner you have
woman noted of her man, “he doesn’t do text messag- loved can be viewed as the end of your happiness or an
ing or email . . . he doesn’t even know how to turn on a opportunity to become involved in a new, more fulfill-
computer. But he knows how to build a house, plant a ing relationship. The discovery of your partner cheating
garden, and fix a car . . . trade-offs I’m willing to make.” on you can be viewed as the end of the relationship or
as an opportunity to examine your situation, to open
up communication channels with your partner, and
to develop a stronger connection. Discovering that
you are infertile can be viewed as a catastrophe or as
a challenge to face adversity with your partner. It is
not the event but your view of it that determines its
effect on you.
Most Choices are Revocable; some are

Courtesy of Michelle North
not Most choices can be changed. For example, a per-

son who has chosen to be sexually active with multiple
partners can decide to be monogamous or to abstain
from sexual relations in new relationships. People who
Another random document with
no related content on Scribd:
DANCE ON STILTS AT THE GIRLS’ UNYAGO, NIUCHI
Newala, too, suffers from the distance of its water-supply—at least

the Newala of to-day does; there was once another Newala in a lovely
valley at the foot of the plateau. I visited it and found scarcely a trace
of houses, only a Christian cemetery, with the graves of several
missionaries and their converts, remaining as a monument of its
former glories. But the surroundings are wonderfully beautiful. A
thick grove of splendid mango-trees closes in the weather-worn
crosses and headstones; behind them, combining the useful and the
agreeable, is a whole plantation of lemon-trees covered with ripe
fruit; not the small African kind, but a much larger and also juicier
imported variety, which drops into the hands of the passing traveller,
without calling for any exertion on his part. Old Newala is now under
the jurisdiction of the native pastor, Daudi, at Chingulungulu, who,
as I am on very friendly terms with him, allows me, as a matter of
course, the use of this lemon-grove during my stay at Newala.
FEET MUTILATED BY THE RAVAGES OF THE “JIGGER”
(Sarcopsylla penetrans)
The water-supply of New Newala is in the bottom of the valley,

some 1,600 feet lower down. The way is not only long and fatiguing,
but the water, when we get it, is thoroughly bad. We are suffering not
only from this, but from the fact that the arrangements at Newala are
nothing short of luxurious. We have a separate kitchen—a hut built
against the boma palisade on the right of the baraza, the interior of
which is not visible from our usual position. Our two cooks were not
long in finding this out, and they consequently do—or rather neglect
to do—what they please. In any case they do not seem to be very
particular about the boiling of our drinking-water—at least I can
attribute to no other cause certain attacks of a dysenteric nature,
from which both Knudsen and I have suffered for some time. If a
man like Omari has to be left unwatched for a moment, he is capable
of anything. Besides this complaint, we are inconvenienced by the
state of our nails, which have become as hard as glass, and crack on
the slightest provocation, and I have the additional infliction of
pimples all over me. As if all this were not enough, we have also, for
the last week been waging war against the jigger, who has found his
Eldorado in the hot sand of the Makonde plateau. Our men are seen
all day long—whenever their chronic colds and the dysentery likewise
raging among them permit—occupied in removing this scourge of
Africa from their feet and trying to prevent the disastrous
consequences of its presence. It is quite common to see natives of
this place with one or two toes missing; many have lost all their toes,
or even the whole front part of the foot, so that a well-formed leg
ends in a shapeless stump. These ravages are caused by the female of
Sarcopsylla penetrans, which bores its way under the skin and there
develops an egg-sac the size of a pea. In all books on the subject, it is
stated that one’s attention is called to the presence of this parasite by
an intolerable itching. This agrees very well with my experience, so
far as the softer parts of the sole, the spaces between and under the
toes, and the side of the foot are concerned, but if the creature
penetrates through the harder parts of the heel or ball of the foot, it
may escape even the most careful search till it has reached maturity.
Then there is no time to be lost, if the horrible ulceration, of which
we see cases by the dozen every day, is to be prevented. It is much
easier, by the way, to discover the insect on the white skin of a
European than on that of a native, on which the dark speck scarcely
shows. The four or five jiggers which, in spite of the fact that I
constantly wore high laced boots, chose my feet to settle in, were
taken out for me by the all-accomplished Knudsen, after which I
thought it advisable to wash out the cavities with corrosive
sublimate. The natives have a different sort of disinfectant—they fill
the hole with scraped roots. In a tiny Makua village on the slope of
the plateau south of Newala, we saw an old woman who had filled all
the spaces under her toe-nails with powdered roots by way of
prophylactic treatment. What will be the result, if any, who can say?
The rest of the many trifling ills which trouble our existence are
really more comic than serious. In the absence of anything else to
smoke, Knudsen and I at last opened a box of cigars procured from
the Indian store-keeper at Lindi, and tried them, with the most
distressing results. Whether they contain opium or some other
narcotic, neither of us can say, but after the tenth puff we were both
“off,” three-quarters stupefied and unspeakably wretched. Slowly we
recovered—and what happened next? Half-an-hour later we were
once more smoking these poisonous concoctions—so insatiable is the
craving for tobacco in the tropics.
Even my present attacks of fever scarcely deserve to be taken
seriously. I have had no less than three here at Newala, all of which
have run their course in an incredibly short time. In the early
afternoon, I am busy with my old natives, asking questions and
making notes. The strong midday coffee has stimulated my spirits to
an extraordinary degree, the brain is active and vigorous, and work
progresses rapidly, while a pleasant warmth pervades the whole
body. Suddenly this gives place to a violent chill, forcing me to put on
my overcoat, though it is only half-past three and the afternoon sun
is at its hottest. Now the brain no longer works with such acuteness
and logical precision; more especially does it fail me in trying to
establish the syntax of the difficult Makua language on which I have
ventured, as if I had not enough to do without it. Under the
circumstances it seems advisable to take my temperature, and I do
so, to save trouble, without leaving my seat, and while going on with
my work. On examination, I find it to be 101·48°. My tutors are
abruptly dismissed and my bed set up in the baraza; a few minutes
later I am in it and treating myself internally with hot water and
lemon-juice.
Three hours later, the thermometer marks nearly 104°, and I make
them carry me back into the tent, bed and all, as I am now perspiring
heavily, and exposure to the cold wind just beginning to blow might
mean a fatal chill. I lie still for a little while, and then find, to my
great relief, that the temperature is not rising, but rather falling. This
is about 7.30 p.m. At 8 p.m. I find, to my unbounded astonishment,
that it has fallen below 98·6°, and I feel perfectly well. I read for an
hour or two, and could very well enjoy a smoke, if I had the
wherewithal—Indian cigars being out of the question.
Having no medical training, I am at a loss to account for this state
of things. It is impossible that these transitory attacks of high fever
should be malarial; it seems more probable that they are due to a
kind of sunstroke. On consulting my note-book, I become more and
more inclined to think this is the case, for these attacks regularly
follow extreme fatigue and long exposure to strong sunshine. They at
least have the advantage of being only short interruptions to my
work, as on the following morning I am always quite fresh and fit.
My treasure of a cook is suffering from an enormous hydrocele which
makes it difficult for him to get up, and Moritz is obliged to keep in
the dark on account of his inflamed eyes. Knudsen’s cook, a raw boy
from somewhere in the bush, knows still less of cooking than Omari;
consequently Nils Knudsen himself has been promoted to the vacant
post. Finding that we had come to the end of our supplies, he began
by sending to Chingulungulu for the four sucking-pigs which we had
bought from Matola and temporarily left in his charge; and when
they came up, neatly packed in a large crate, he callously slaughtered
the biggest of them. The first joint we were thoughtless enough to
entrust for roasting to Knudsen’s mshenzi cook, and it was
consequently uneatable; but we made the rest of the animal into a
jelly which we ate with great relish after weeks of underfeeding,
consuming incredible helpings of it at both midday and evening
meals. The only drawback is a certain want of variety in the tinned
vegetables. Dr. Jäger, to whom the Geographical Commission
entrusted the provisioning of the expeditions—mine as well as his
own—because he had more time on his hands than the rest of us,
seems to have laid in a huge stock of Teltow turnips,[46] an article of
food which is all very well for occasional use, but which quickly palls
when set before one every day; and we seem to have no other tins
left. There is no help for it—we must put up with the turnips; but I
am certain that, once I am home again, I shall not touch them for ten
years to come.
Amid all these minor evils, which, after all, go to make up the
genuine flavour of Africa, there is at least one cheering touch:
Knudsen has, with the dexterity of a skilled mechanic, repaired my 9
× 12 cm. camera, at least so far that I can use it with a little care.
How, in the absence of finger-nails, he was able to accomplish such a
ticklish piece of work, having no tool but a clumsy screw-driver for
taking to pieces and putting together again the complicated
mechanism of the instantaneous shutter, is still a mystery to me; but
he did it successfully. The loss of his finger-nails shows him in a light
contrasting curiously enough with the intelligence evinced by the
above operation; though, after all, it is scarcely surprising after his
ten years’ residence in the bush. One day, at Lindi, he had occasion
to wash a dog, which must have been in need of very thorough
cleansing, for the bottle handed to our friend for the purpose had an
extremely strong smell. Having performed his task in the most
conscientious manner, he perceived with some surprise that the dog
did not appear much the better for it, and was further surprised by
finding his own nails ulcerating away in the course of the next few
days. “How was I to know that carbolic acid has to be diluted?” he
mutters indignantly, from time to time, with a troubled gaze at his
mutilated finger-tips.
Since we came to Newala we have been making excursions in all
directions through the surrounding country, in accordance with old
habit, and also because the akida Sefu did not get together the tribal
elders from whom I wanted information so speedily as he had
promised. There is, however, no harm done, as, even if seen only
from the outside, the country and people are interesting enough.
The Makonde plateau is like a large rectangular table rounded off
at the corners. Measured from the Indian Ocean to Newala, it is
about seventy-five miles long, and between the Rovuma and the
Lukuledi it averages fifty miles in breadth, so that its superficial area
is about two-thirds of that of the kingdom of Saxony. The surface,
however, is not level, but uniformly inclined from its south-western
edge to the ocean. From the upper edge, on which Newala lies, the
eye ranges for many miles east and north-east, without encountering
any obstacle, over the Makonde bush. It is a green sea, from which
here and there thick clouds of smoke rise, to show that it, too, is
inhabited by men who carry on their tillage like so many other
primitive peoples, by cutting down and burning the bush, and
manuring with the ashes. Even in the radiant light of a tropical day
such a fire is a grand sight.
Much less effective is the impression produced just now by the
great western plain as seen from the edge of the plateau. As often as
time permits, I stroll along this edge, sometimes in one direction,
sometimes in another, in the hope of finding the air clear enough to
let me enjoy the view; but I have always been disappointed.
Wherever one looks, clouds of smoke rise from the burning bush,
and the air is full of smoke and vapour. It is a pity, for under more
favourable circumstances the panorama of the whole country up to
the distant Majeje hills must be truly magnificent. It is of little use
taking photographs now, and an outline sketch gives a very poor idea
of the scenery. In one of these excursions I went out of my way to
make a personal attempt on the Makonde bush. The present edge of
the plateau is the result of a far-reaching process of destruction
through erosion and denudation. The Makonde strata are
everywhere cut into by ravines, which, though short, are hundreds of
yards in depth. In consequence of the loose stratification of these
beds, not only are the walls of these ravines nearly vertical, but their
upper end is closed by an equally steep escarpment, so that the
western edge of the Makonde plateau is hemmed in by a series of
deep, basin-like valleys. In order to get from one side of such a ravine
to the other, I cut my way through the bush with a dozen of my men.
It was a very open part, with more grass than scrub, but even so the
short stretch of less than two hundred yards was very hard work; at
the end of it the men’s calicoes were in rags and they themselves
bleeding from hundreds of scratches, while even our strong khaki
suits had not escaped scatheless.
NATIVE PATH THROUGH THE MAKONDE BUSH, NEAR

MAHUTA
I see increasing reason to believe that the view formed some time
back as to the origin of the Makonde bush is the correct one. I have
no doubt that it is not a natural product, but the result of human
occupation. Those parts of the high country where man—as a very
slight amount of practice enables the eye to perceive at once—has not
yet penetrated with axe and hoe, are still occupied by a splendid
timber forest quite able to sustain a comparison with our mixed
forests in Germany. But wherever man has once built his hut or tilled
his field, this horrible bush springs up. Every phase of this process
may be seen in the course of a couple of hours’ walk along the main
road. From the bush to right or left, one hears the sound of the axe—
not from one spot only, but from several directions at once. A few
steps further on, we can see what is taking place. The brush has been
cut down and piled up in heaps to the height of a yard or more,
between which the trunks of the large trees stand up like the last
pillars of a magnificent ruined building. These, too, present a
melancholy spectacle: the destructive Makonde have ringed them—
cut a broad strip of bark all round to ensure their dying off—and also
piled up pyramids of brush round them. Father and son, mother and
son-in-law, are chopping away perseveringly in the background—too
busy, almost, to look round at the white stranger, who usually excites
so much interest. If you pass by the same place a week later, the piles
of brushwood have disappeared and a thick layer of ashes has taken
the place of the green forest. The large trees stretch their
smouldering trunks and branches in dumb accusation to heaven—if
they have not already fallen and been more or less reduced to ashes,
perhaps only showing as a white stripe on the dark ground.
This work of destruction is carried out by the Makonde alike on the
virgin forest and on the bush which has sprung up on sites already
cultivated and deserted. In the second case they are saved the trouble
of burning the large trees, these being entirely absent in the
secondary bush.
After burning this piece of forest ground and loosening it with the
hoe, the native sows his corn and plants his vegetables. All over the
country, he goes in for bed-culture, which requires, and, in fact,
receives, the most careful attention. Weeds are nowhere tolerated in
the south of German East Africa. The crops may fail on the plains,
where droughts are frequent, but never on the plateau with its
abundant rains and heavy dews. Its fortunate inhabitants even have
the satisfaction of seeing the proud Wayao and Wamakua working
for them as labourers, driven by hunger to serve where they were
accustomed to rule.
But the light, sandy soil is soon exhausted, and would yield no
harvest the second year if cultivated twice running. This fact has
been familiar to the native for ages; consequently he provides in
time, and, while his crop is growing, prepares the next plot with axe
and firebrand. Next year he plants this with his various crops and
lets the first piece lie fallow. For a short time it remains waste and
desolate; then nature steps in to repair the destruction wrought by
man; a thousand new growths spring out of the exhausted soil, and
even the old stumps put forth fresh shoots. Next year the new growth
is up to one’s knees, and in a few years more it is that terrible,
impenetrable bush, which maintains its position till the black
occupier of the land has made the round of all the available sites and
come back to his starting point.
The Makonde are, body and soul, so to speak, one with this bush.
According to my Yao informants, indeed, their name means nothing
else but “bush people.” Their own tradition says that they have been
settled up here for a very long time, but to my surprise they laid great
stress on an original immigration. Their old homes were in the
south-east, near Mikindani and the mouth of the Rovuma, whence
their peaceful forefathers were driven by the continual raids of the
Sakalavas from Madagascar and the warlike Shirazis[47] of the coast,
to take refuge on the almost inaccessible plateau. I have studied
African ethnology for twenty years, but the fact that changes of
population in this apparently quiet and peaceable corner of the earth
could have been occasioned by outside enterprises taking place on
the high seas, was completely new to me. It is, no doubt, however,
correct.
The charming tribal legend of the Makonde—besides informing us
of other interesting matters—explains why they have to live in the
thickest of the bush and a long way from the edge of the plateau,
instead of making their permanent homes beside the purling brooks
and springs of the low country.
“The place where the tribe originated is Mahuta, on the southern
side of the plateau towards the Rovuma, where of old time there was
nothing but thick bush. Out of this bush came a man who never
washed himself or shaved his head, and who ate and drank but little.
He went out and made a human figure from the wood of a tree
growing in the open country, which he took home to his abode in the
bush and there set it upright. In the night this image came to life and
was a woman. The man and woman went down together to the
Rovuma to wash themselves. Here the woman gave birth to a still-
born child. They left that place and passed over the high land into the
valley of the Mbemkuru, where the woman had another child, which
was also born dead. Then they returned to the high bush country of
Mahuta, where the third child was born, which lived and grew up. In
course of time, the couple had many more children, and called
themselves Wamatanda. These were the ancestral stock of the
Makonde, also called Wamakonde,[48] i.e., aborigines. Their
forefather, the man from the bush, gave his children the command to
bury their dead upright, in memory of the mother of their race who
was cut out of wood and awoke to life when standing upright. He also
warned them against settling in the valleys and near large streams,
for sickness and death dwelt there. They were to make it a rule to
have their huts at least an hour’s walk from the nearest watering-
place; then their children would thrive and escape illness.”
The explanation of the name Makonde given by my informants is
somewhat different from that contained in the above legend, which I
extract from a little book (small, but packed with information), by
Pater Adams, entitled Lindi und sein Hinterland. Otherwise, my
results agree exactly with the statements of the legend. Washing?
Hapana—there is no such thing. Why should they do so? As it is, the
supply of water scarcely suffices for cooking and drinking; other
people do not wash, so why should the Makonde distinguish himself
by such needless eccentricity? As for shaving the head, the short,
woolly crop scarcely needs it,[49] so the second ancestral precept is
likewise easy enough to follow. Beyond this, however, there is
nothing ridiculous in the ancestor’s advice. I have obtained from
various local artists a fairly large number of figures carved in wood,
ranging from fifteen to twenty-three inches in height, and
representing women belonging to the great group of the Mavia,
Makonde, and Matambwe tribes. The carving is remarkably well
done and renders the female type with great accuracy, especially the
keloid ornamentation, to be described later on. As to the object and
meaning of their works the sculptors either could or (more probably)
would tell me nothing, and I was forced to content myself with the
scanty information vouchsafed by one man, who said that the figures
were merely intended to represent the nembo—the artificial
deformations of pelele, ear-discs, and keloids. The legend recorded
by Pater Adams places these figures in a new light. They must surely
be more than mere dolls; and we may even venture to assume that
they are—though the majority of present-day Makonde are probably
unaware of the fact—representations of the tribal ancestress.
The references in the legend to the descent from Mahuta to the
Rovuma, and to a journey across the highlands into the Mbekuru
valley, undoubtedly indicate the previous history of the tribe, the
travels of the ancestral pair typifying the migrations of their
descendants. The descent to the neighbouring Rovuma valley, with
its extraordinary fertility and great abundance of game, is intelligible
at a glance—but the crossing of the Lukuledi depression, the ascent
to the Rondo Plateau and the descent to the Mbemkuru, also lie
within the bounds of probability, for all these districts have exactly
the same character as the extreme south. Now, however, comes a
point of especial interest for our bacteriological age. The primitive
Makonde did not enjoy their lives in the marshy river-valleys.
Disease raged among them, and many died. It was only after they
had returned to their original home near Mahuta, that the health
conditions of these people improved. We are very apt to think of the
African as a stupid person whose ignorance of nature is only equalled
by his fear of it, and who looks on all mishaps as caused by evil
spirits and malignant natural powers. It is much more correct to
assume in this case that the people very early learnt to distinguish
districts infested with malaria from those where it is absent.
This knowledge is crystallized in the
ancestral warning against settling in the
valleys and near the great waters, the
dwelling-places of disease and death. At the
same time, for security against the hostile
Mavia south of the Rovuma, it was enacted
that every settlement must be not less than a
certain distance from the southern edge of the
plateau. Such in fact is their mode of life at the
present day. It is not such a bad one, and
certainly they are both safer and more
comfortable than the Makua, the recent
intruders from the south, who have made USUAL METHOD OF
good their footing on the western edge of the CLOSING HUT-DOOR
plateau, extending over a fairly wide belt of
country. Neither Makua nor Makonde show in their dwellings
anything of the size and comeliness of the Yao houses in the plain,
especially at Masasi, Chingulungulu and Zuza’s. Jumbe Chauro, a
Makonde hamlet not far from Newala, on the road to Mahuta, is the
most important settlement of the tribe I have yet seen, and has fairly
spacious huts. But how slovenly is their construction compared with
the palatial residences of the elephant-hunters living in the plain.
The roofs are still more untidy than in the general run of huts during
the dry season, the walls show here and there the scanty beginnings
or the lamentable remains of the mud plastering, and the interior is a
veritable dog-kennel; dirt, dust and disorder everywhere. A few huts
only show any attempt at division into rooms, and this consists
merely of very roughly-made bamboo partitions. In one point alone
have I noticed any indication of progress—in the method of fastening
the door. Houses all over the south are secured in a simple but
ingenious manner. The door consists of a set of stout pieces of wood
or bamboo, tied with bark-string to two cross-pieces, and moving in
two grooves round one of the door-posts, so as to open inwards. If
the owner wishes to leave home, he takes two logs as thick as a man’s
upper arm and about a yard long. One of these is placed obliquely
against the middle of the door from the inside, so as to form an angle
of from 60° to 75° with the ground. He then places the second piece
horizontally across the first, pressing it downward with all his might.
It is kept in place by two strong posts planted in the ground a few
inches inside the door. This fastening is absolutely safe, but of course
cannot be applied to both doors at once, otherwise how could the
owner leave or enter his house? I have not yet succeeded in finding
out how the back door is fastened.
MAKONDE LOCK AND KEY AT JUMBE CHAURO

This is the general way of closing a house. The Makonde at Jumbe
Chauro, however, have a much more complicated, solid and original
one. Here, too, the door is as already described, except that there is
only one post on the inside, standing by itself about six inches from
one side of the doorway. Opposite this post is a hole in the wall just
large enough to admit a man’s arm. The door is closed inside by a
large wooden bolt passing through a hole in this post and pressing
with its free end against the door. The other end has three holes into
which fit three pegs running in vertical grooves inside the post. The
door is opened with a wooden key about a foot long, somewhat
curved and sloped off at the butt; the other end has three pegs
corresponding to the holes, in the bolt, so that, when it is thrust
through the hole in the wall and inserted into the rectangular
opening in the post, the pegs can be lifted and the bolt drawn out.[50]
MODE OF INSERTING THE KEY
With no small pride first one householder and then a second

showed me on the spot the action of this greatest invention of the
Makonde Highlands. To both with an admiring exclamation of
“Vizuri sana!” (“Very fine!”). I expressed the wish to take back these
marvels with me to Ulaya, to show the Wazungu what clever fellows
the Makonde are. Scarcely five minutes after my return to camp at
Newala, the two men came up sweating under the weight of two
heavy logs which they laid down at my feet, handing over at the same
time the keys of the fallen fortress. Arguing, logically enough, that if
the key was wanted, the lock would be wanted with it, they had taken
their axes and chopped down the posts—as it never occurred to them
to dig them out of the ground and so bring them intact. Thus I have
two badly damaged specimens, and the owners, instead of praise,
come in for a blowing-up.
The Makua huts in the environs of Newala are especially
miserable; their more than slovenly construction reminds one of the
temporary erections of the Makua at Hatia’s, though the people here
have not been concerned in a war. It must therefore be due to
congenital idleness, or else to the absence of a powerful chief. Even
the baraza at Mlipa’s, a short hour’s walk south-east of Newala,
shares in this general neglect. While public buildings in this country
are usually looked after more or less carefully, this is in evident
danger of being blown over by the first strong easterly gale. The only
attractive object in this whole district is the grave of the late chief
Mlipa. I visited it in the morning, while the sun was still trying with
partial success to break through the rolling mists, and the circular
grove of tall euphorbias, which, with a broken pot, is all that marks
the old king’s resting-place, impressed one with a touch of pathos.
Even my very materially-minded carriers seemed to feel something
of the sort, for instead of their usual ribald songs, they chanted
solemnly, as we marched on through the dense green of the Makonde
bush:—
“We shall arrive with the great master; we stand in a row and have
no fear about getting our food and our money from the Serkali (the
Government). We are not afraid; we are going along with the great
master, the lion; we are going down to the coast and back.”
With regard to the characteristic features of the various tribes here
on the western edge of the plateau, I can arrive at no other
conclusion than the one already come to in the plain, viz., that it is
impossible for anyone but a trained anthropologist to assign any
given individual at once to his proper tribe. In fact, I think that even
an anthropological specialist, after the most careful examination,
might find it a difficult task to decide. The whole congeries of peoples
collected in the region bounded on the west by the great Central
African rift, Tanganyika and Nyasa, and on the east by the Indian
Ocean, are closely related to each other—some of their languages are
only distinguished from one another as dialects of the same speech,
and no doubt all the tribes present the same shape of skull and
structure of skeleton. Thus, surely, there can be no very striking
differences in outward appearance.
Even did such exist, I should have no time
to concern myself with them, for day after day,
I have to see or hear, as the case may be—in
any case to grasp and record—an
extraordinary number of ethnographic
phenomena. I am almost disposed to think it
fortunate that some departments of inquiry, at
least, are barred by external circumstances.
Chief among these is the subject of iron-
working. We are apt to think of Africa as a
country where iron ore is everywhere, so to
speak, to be picked up by the roadside, and
where it would be quite surprising if the
inhabitants had not learnt to smelt the
material ready to their hand. In fact, the
knowledge of this art ranges all over the
continent, from the Kabyles in the north to the
Kafirs in the south. Here between the Rovuma
and the Lukuledi the conditions are not so
favourable. According to the statements of the
Makonde, neither ironstone nor any other
form of iron ore is known to them. They have
not therefore advanced to the art of smelting
the metal, but have hitherto bought all their
THE ANCESTRESS OF
THE MAKONDE
iron implements from neighbouring tribes.
Even in the plain the inhabitants are not much
better off. Only one man now living is said to
understand the art of smelting iron. This old fundi lives close to
Huwe, that isolated, steep-sided block of granite which rises out of
the green solitude between Masasi and Chingulungulu, and whose
jagged and splintered top meets the traveller’s eye everywhere. While
still at Masasi I wished to see this man at work, but was told that,
frightened by the rising, he had retired across the Rovuma, though
he would soon return. All subsequent inquiries as to whether the
fundi had come back met with the genuine African answer, “Bado”
(“Not yet”).
BRAZIER
Some consolation was afforded me by a brassfounder, whom I

came across in the bush near Akundonde’s. This man is the favourite
of women, and therefore no doubt of the gods; he welds the glittering
brass rods purchased at the coast into those massive, heavy rings
which, on the wrists and ankles of the local fair ones, continually give
me fresh food for admiration. Like every decent master-craftsman he
had all his tools with him, consisting of a pair of bellows, three
crucibles and a hammer—nothing more, apparently. He was quite
willing to show his skill, and in a twinkling had fixed his bellows on
the ground. They are simply two goat-skins, taken off whole, the four
legs being closed by knots, while the upper opening, intended to
admit the air, is kept stretched by two pieces of wood. At the lower
end of the skin a smaller opening is left into which a wooden tube is
stuck. The fundi has quickly borrowed a heap of wood-embers from
the nearest hut; he then fixes the free ends of the two tubes into an
earthen pipe, and clamps them to the ground by means of a bent
piece of wood. Now he fills one of his small clay crucibles, the dross
on which shows that they have been long in use, with the yellow
material, places it in the midst of the embers, which, at present are
only faintly glimmering, and begins his work. In quick alternation
the smith’s two hands move up and down with the open ends of the
bellows; as he raises his hand he holds the slit wide open, so as to let
the air enter the skin bag unhindered. In pressing it down he closes
the bag, and the air puffs through the bamboo tube and clay pipe into
the fire, which quickly burns up. The smith, however, does not keep
on with this work, but beckons to another man, who relieves him at
the bellows, while he takes some more tools out of a large skin pouch
carried on his back. I look on in wonder as, with a smooth round
stick about the thickness of a finger, he bores a few vertical holes into
the clean sand of the soil. This should not be difficult, yet the man
seems to be taking great pains over it. Then he fastens down to the
ground, with a couple of wooden clamps, a neat little trough made by
splitting a joint of bamboo in half, so that the ends are closed by the
two knots. At last the yellow metal has attained the right consistency,
and the fundi lifts the crucible from the fire by means of two sticks
split at the end to serve as tongs. A short swift turn to the left—a
tilting of the crucible—and the molten brass, hissing and giving forth
clouds of smoke, flows first into the bamboo mould and then into the
holes in the ground.
The technique of this backwoods craftsman may not be very far
advanced, but it cannot be denied that he knows how to obtain an
adequate result by the simplest means. The ladies of highest rank in
this country—that is to say, those who can afford it, wear two kinds
of these massive brass rings, one cylindrical, the other semicircular
in section. The latter are cast in the most ingenious way in the
bamboo mould, the former in the circular hole in the sand. It is quite
a simple matter for the fundi to fit these bars to the limbs of his fair
customers; with a few light strokes of his hammer he bends the
pliable brass round arm or ankle without further inconvenience to
the wearer.
SHAPING THE POT
SMOOTHING WITH MAIZE-COB
CUTTING THE EDGE

FINISHING THE BOTTOM
LAST SMOOTHING BEFORE

BURNING
FIRING THE BRUSH-PILE

LIGHTING THE FARTHER SIDE OF
THE PILE
TURNING THE RED-HOT VESSEL
NYASA WOMAN MAKING POTS AT MASASI

Pottery is an art which must always and everywhere excite the
interest of the student, just because it is so intimately connected with
the development of human culture, and because its relics are one of
the principal factors in the reconstruction of our own condition in
prehistoric times. I shall always remember with pleasure the two or
three afternoons at Masasi when Salim Matola’s mother, a slightly-
built, graceful, pleasant-looking woman, explained to me with
touching patience, by means of concrete illustrations, the ceramic art
of her people. The only implements for this primitive process were a
lump of clay in her left hand, and in the right a calabash containing
the following valuables: the fragment of a maize-cob stripped of all
its grains, a smooth, oval pebble, about the size of a pigeon’s egg, a
few chips of gourd-shell, a bamboo splinter about the length of one’s
hand, a small shell, and a bunch of some herb resembling spinach.
Nothing more. The woman scraped with the
shell a round, shallow hole in the soft, fine
sand of the soil, and, when an active young
girl had filled the calabash with water for her,
she began to knead the clay. As if by magic it
gradually assumed the shape of a rough but
already well-shaped vessel, which only wanted
a little touching up with the instruments
before mentioned. I looked out with the
MAKUA WOMAN closest attention for any indication of the use
MAKING A POT. of the potter’s wheel, in however rudimentary
SHOWS THE a form, but no—hapana (there is none). The
BEGINNINGS OF THE embryo pot stood firmly in its little
POTTER’S WHEEL
depression, and the woman walked round it in
a stooping posture, whether she was removing
small stones or similar foreign bodies with the maize-cob, smoothing
the inner or outer surface with the splinter of bamboo, or later, after
letting it dry for a day, pricking in the ornamentation with a pointed
bit of gourd-shell, or working out the bottom, or cutting the edge
with a sharp bamboo knife, or giving the last touches to the finished
vessel. This occupation of the women is infinitely toilsome, but it is
without doubt an accurate reproduction of the process in use among
our ancestors of the Neolithic and Bronze ages.
There is no doubt that the invention of pottery, an item in human
progress whose importance cannot be over-estimated, is due to
women. Rough, coarse and unfeeling, the men of the horde range
over the countryside. When the united cunning of the hunters has
succeeded in killing the game; not one of them thinks of carrying
home the spoil. A bright fire, kindled by a vigorous wielding of the
drill, is crackling beside them; the animal has been cleaned and cut
up secundum artem, and, after a slight singeing, will soon disappear
under their sharp teeth; no one all this time giving a single thought
to wife or child.
To what shifts, on the other hand, the primitive wife, and still more
the primitive mother, was put! Not even prehistoric stomachs could
endure an unvarying diet of raw food. Something or other suggested
the beneficial effect of hot water on the majority of approved but
indigestible dishes. Perhaps a neighbour had tried holding the hard
roots or tubers over the fire in a calabash filled with water—or maybe
an ostrich-egg-shell, or a hastily improvised vessel of bark. They
became much softer and more palatable than they had previously
been; but, unfortunately, the vessel could not stand the fire and got
charred on the outside. That can be remedied, thought our
ancestress, and plastered a layer of wet clay round a similar vessel.
This is an improvement; the cooking utensil remains uninjured, but
the heat of the fire has shrunk it, so that it is loose in its shell. The
next step is to detach it, so, with a firm grip and a jerk, shell and
kernel are separated, and pottery is invented. Perhaps, however, the
discovery which led to an intelligent use of the burnt-clay shell, was
made in a slightly different way. Ostrich-eggs and calabashes are not
to be found in every part of the world, but everywhere mankind has
arrived at the art of making baskets out of pliant materials, such as
bark, bast, strips of palm-leaf, supple twigs, etc. Our inventor has no
water-tight vessel provided by nature. “Never mind, let us line the
basket with clay.” This answers the purpose, but alas! the basket gets
burnt over the blazing fire, the woman watches the process of
cooking with increasing uneasiness, fearing a leak, but no leak
appears. The food, done to a turn, is eaten with peculiar relish; and
the cooking-vessel is examined, half in curiosity, half in satisfaction
at the result. The plastic clay is now hard as stone, and at the same
time looks exceedingly well, for the neat plaiting of the burnt basket
is traced all over it in a pretty pattern. Thus, simultaneously with
pottery, its ornamentation was invented.
Primitive woman has another claim to respect. It was the man,
roving abroad, who invented the art of producing fire at will, but the
woman, unable to imitate him in this, has been a Vestal from the
earliest times. Nothing gives so much trouble as the keeping alight of
the smouldering brand, and, above all, when all the men are absent
from the camp. Heavy rain-clouds gather, already the first large
drops are falling, the first gusts of the storm rage over the plain. The
little flame, a greater anxiety to the woman than her own children,
flickers unsteadily in the blast. What is to be done? A sudden thought
occurs to her, and in an instant she has constructed a primitive hut
out of strips of bark, to protect the flame against rain and wind.
This, or something very like it, was the way in which the principle
of the house was discovered; and even the most hardened misogynist
cannot fairly refuse a woman the credit of it. The protection of the
hearth-fire from the weather is the germ from which the human
dwelling was evolved. Men had little, if any share, in this forward
step, and that only at a late stage. Even at the present day, the
plastering of the housewall with clay and the manufacture of pottery
are exclusively the women’s business. These are two very significant
survivals. Our European kitchen-garden, too, is originally a woman’s
invention, and the hoe, the primitive instrument of agriculture, is,
characteristically enough, still used in this department. But the
noblest achievement which we owe to the other sex is unquestionably
the art of cookery. Roasting alone—the oldest process—is one for
which men took the hint (a very obvious one) from nature. It must
have been suggested by the scorched carcase of some animal
overtaken by the destructive forest-fires. But boiling—the process of
improving organic substances by the help of water heated to boiling-
point—is a much later discovery. It is so recent that it has not even
yet penetrated to all parts of the world. The Polynesians understand
how to steam food, that is, to cook it, neatly wrapped in leaves, in a
hole in the earth between hot stones, the air being excluded, and
(sometimes) a few drops of water sprinkled on the stones; but they
do not understand boiling.
To come back from this digression, we find that the slender Nyasa
woman has, after once more carefully examining the finished pot,
put it aside in the shade to dry. On the following day she sends me
word by her son, Salim Matola, who is always on hand, that she is
going to do the burning, and, on coming out of my house, I find her
already hard at work. She has spread on the ground a layer of very
dry sticks, about as thick as one’s thumb, has laid the pot (now of a
yellowish-grey colour) on them, and is piling brushwood round it.
My faithful Pesa mbili, the mnyampara, who has been standing by,
most obligingly, with a lighted stick, now hands it to her. Both of
them, blowing steadily, light the pile on the lee side, and, when the
flame begins to catch, on the weather side also. Soon the whole is in a
blaze, but the dry fuel is quickly consumed and the fire dies down, so
that we see the red-hot vessel rising from the ashes. The woman
turns it continually with a long stick, sometimes one way and
sometimes another, so that it may be evenly heated all over. In
twenty minutes she rolls it out of the ash-heap, takes up the bundle
of spinach, which has been lying for two days in a jar of water, and
sprinkles the red-hot clay with it. The places where the drops fall are
marked by black spots on the uniform reddish-brown surface. With a
sigh of relief, and with visible satisfaction, the woman rises to an
erect position; she is standing just in a line between me and the fire,
from which a cloud of smoke is just rising: I press the ball of my
camera, the shutter clicks—the apotheosis is achieved! Like a
priestess, representative of her inventive sex, the graceful woman
stands: at her feet the hearth-fire she has given us beside her the
invention she has devised for us, in the background the home she has
built for us.
At Newala, also, I have had the manufacture of pottery carried on
in my presence. Technically the process is better than that already
described, for here we find the beginnings of the potter’s wheel,
which does not seem to exist in the plains; at least I have seen
nothing of the sort. The artist, a frightfully stupid Makua woman, did
not make a depression in the ground to receive the pot she was about
to shape, but used instead a large potsherd. Otherwise, she went to
work in much the same way as Salim’s mother, except that she saved
herself the trouble of walking round and round her work by squatting
at her ease and letting the pot and potsherd rotate round her; this is
surely the first step towards a machine. But it does not follow that
the pot was improved by the process. It is true that it was beautifully
rounded and presented a very creditable appearance when finished,
but the numerous large and small vessels which I have seen, and, in
part, collected, in the “less advanced” districts, are no less so. We
moderns imagine that instruments of precision are necessary to
produce excellent results. Go to the prehistoric collections of our
museums and look at the pots, urns and bowls of our ancestors in the
dim ages of the past, and you will at once perceive your error.
MAKING LONGITUDINAL CUT IN
BARK
DRAWING THE BARK OFF THE LOG
REMOVING THE OUTER BARK

BEATING THE BARK
WORKING THE BARK-CLOTH AFTER BEATING, TO MAKE IT

SOFT
MANUFACTURE OF BARK-CLOTH AT NEWALA

To-day, nearly the whole population of German East Africa is
clothed in imported calico. This was not always the case; even now in
some parts of the north dressed skins are still the prevailing wear,
and in the north-western districts—east and north of Lake
Tanganyika—lies a zone where bark-cloth has not yet been
superseded. Probably not many generations have passed since such
bark fabrics and kilts of skins were the only clothing even in the
south. Even to-day, large quantities of this bright-red or drab
material are still to be found; but if we wish to see it, we must look in
the granaries and on the drying stages inside the native huts, where
it serves less ambitious uses as wrappings for those seeds and fruits
which require to be packed with special care. The salt produced at
Masasi, too, is packed for transport to a distance in large sheets of
bark-cloth. Wherever I found it in any degree possible, I studied the
process of making this cloth. The native requisitioned for the
purpose arrived, carrying a log between two and three yards long and
as thick as his thigh, and nothing else except a curiously-shaped
mallet and the usual long, sharp and pointed knife which all men and
boys wear in a belt at their backs without a sheath—horribile dictu!
[51]
Silently he squats down before me, and with two rapid cuts has
drawn a couple of circles round the log some two yards apart, and
slits the bark lengthwise between them with the point of his knife.
With evident care, he then scrapes off the outer rind all round the
log, so that in a quarter of an hour the inner red layer of the bark
shows up brightly-coloured between the two untouched ends. With
some trouble and much caution, he now loosens the bark at one end,
and opens the cylinder. He then stands up, takes hold of the free
edge with both hands, and turning it inside out, slowly but steadily
pulls it off in one piece. Now comes the troublesome work of
scraping all superfluous particles of outer bark from the outside of
the long, narrow piece of material, while the inner side is carefully
scrutinised for defective spots. At last it is ready for beating. Having
signalled to a friend, who immediately places a bowl of water beside
him, the artificer damps his sheet of bark all over, seizes his mallet,
lays one end of the stuff on the smoothest spot of the log, and
hammers away slowly but continuously. “Very simple!” I think to
myself. “Why, I could do that, too!”—but I am forced to change my
opinions a little later on; for the beating is quite an art, if the fabric is
not to be beaten to pieces. To prevent the breaking of the fibres, the
stuff is several times folded across, so as to interpose several
thicknesses between the mallet and the block. At last the required
state is reached, and the fundi seizes the sheet, still folded, by both
ends, and wrings it out, or calls an assistant to take one end while he
holds the other. The cloth produced in this way is not nearly so fine
and uniform in texture as the famous Uganda bark-cloth, but it is
quite soft, and, above all, cheap.
Now, too, I examine the mallet. My craftsman has been using the
simpler but better form of this implement, a conical block of some
hard wood, its base—the striking surface—being scored across and
across with more or less deeply-cut grooves, and the handle stuck
into a hole in the middle. The other and earlier form of mallet is
shaped in the same way, but the head is fastened by an ingenious
network of bark strips into the split bamboo serving as a handle. The
observation so often made, that ancient customs persist longest in
connection with religious ceremonies and in the life of children, here
finds confirmation. As we shall soon see, bark-cloth is still worn
during the unyago,[52] having been prepared with special solemn
ceremonies; and many a mother, if she has no other garment handy,
will still put her little one into a kilt of bark-cloth, which, after all,
looks better, besides being more in keeping with its African
surroundings, than the ridiculous bit of print from Ulaya.
MAKUA WOMEN

EBook MF New Engaging Titles From 4Ltr Press PDF Docx Kindle Full Chapter

Uploaded by

Document Information

Original Title

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

EBook MF New Engaging Titles From 4Ltr Press PDF Docx Kindle Full Chapter

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

M&F; (New, Engaging Titles from 4LTR

3-1 Terminology of Gender Roles 49

4 Love and Relationship Development 68

4-1 Ways of Viewing Love 68

4-3 Love Theories: Origins of Love 76

5 Communication and Technology in Relationships 96

5-1 Communication: Verbal

5-4b Cultural Differences in

6 Sexuality in Relationships 116

6-1 Alternative Sexual Values 118 6-3d Oral Sex 126

Hero Images/Getty Images

7 GLbTq Relationships 134

7-1 Language and Identification 134 7-7 Parenting Issues 150

8-1 Motivations, Functions, and Transition 8-5 Marriage Success 171

8-4e Interreligious Marriages 167

9 Money, Work, and Relationships 176

9-1 Money and Relationships 177

the Marriage 184

10 Abuse in Relationships 190

11-1 Do You Want to Have Children? 208 11-6 Abortion 220

11-4c Costs of Adoption 219

12 Rearing Children 226

12-1 Parenting: A Matter of Choices 226

12-3 Transition to Parenthood 230

13 Stress and Crisis in Relationships 246

Nicki Pardo/Getty Images

14 Divorce and Remarriage 266

14-1 Deciding Whether to Continue or End 14-2c Liberal Divorce Laws/Social

15 The Later Years 292

15-1 Age and Ageism 292

Chapter 1: Marriages and Families: An Introduction 3

Advice father most states, whatever the deceased spouse owns is

Legal Contract Marriage in our society is a legal

license certifies that a legally empowered representa-

Most Frequent Risk-Taking Behaviors in a Romantic

Disconnected with friends because of partner 34

Emotional Relationship Ninety-three percent background are considered more impor-

love to marry—love is expected to follow, not precede, “I would divorce a spouse

similarity of religion, culture, education, and family Knox, 2015).

Chapter 1: Marriages and Families: An Introduction 5

Chapter 1: Marriages and Families: An Introduction 7

1-2 Family family is regarded as the basic social institution because

Chapter 1: Marriages and Families: An Introduction 9

Chapter 1: Marriages and Families: An Introduction 11

1-4 Theoretical 2007, p. 247). negative effects.

Frameworks for theoretical

Chapter 1: Marriages and Families: An Introduction 13

John D. Kisch/Separate Cinema Archive/Getty Images

C hCahpat pe tr e 1r : 1M: aMr ar ir ar igae gs e as nadn Fd a Fma im

Chapter 1: Marriages and Families: An Introduction 17

Most Choices are Revocable; some are

not Most choices can be changed. For example, a per-

Chapter 1: Marriages and Families: An Introduction 19

Newala, too, suffers from the distance of its water-supply—at least

The water-supply of New Newala is in the bottom of the valley,

NATIVE PATH THROUGH THE MAKONDE BUSH, NEAR

MAKONDE LOCK AND KEY AT JUMBE CHAURO

MODE OF INSERTING THE KEY

With no small pride first one householder and then a second

Some consolation was afforded me by a brassfounder, whom I

SMOOTHING WITH MAIZE-COB

CUTTING THE EDGE

LAST SMOOTHING BEFORE