Task 1: The graph shows the value in US dollars (in millions of dollars) of investment in funds of four

categories from 1988 to 2014.

The line chart illustrates how many much money were was invested in funds of four sectors
section, including property, gold, fine art and company shares in the United States US between
1988 and 2014. Overall, all four of funds rose over the period with the gold receiving section
received the largest investment. While investing money for shares in companies of company
and property increased steadily, the others’ funds witnessed a more significant rise.

[Oh dear, you are still not introducing these paragraphs correctly, this paragraph is not just
about 1988 and 1990 is it? It seems like this is about the detail between 1998 and 2006, so you
would say something like “Looking first at the movements between 1998 and 2006...” ] In 1988
and 1990, around 100 million dollars was allocated for gold and fine art, while only about 50
million dollars was funded for company shares and property. In the following 16 years, the
value of investment in fine art and gold fluctuated from 50 to 200 million dollars with the slight
increase of gold from 100 to nearly 200 million dollars between 1998 and 2006 [this is a lot of
words, but at the end of the day all you have told me is that in 2006 gold is at nearly 200
million, where are the other figures?]. By contrast, two other figures had seen upward trends
throughout that period. [without giving me data, this is not valuable information

In the last 8 years [this is a correct paragraph opening, this is what you need to aim for], the
amount of money for both of gold and fine art grew rapidly with gold section became the most
invested asset, reaching its peak at 450 million [when?]before decreasing [what was is closing
figure?]. In comparisioncomparison, the growth in the investment of company shares and
property is insignificant [there is nowhere near enough detail here, you have just written a lot
of words with almost no detail, very disappointing]

Estimated
Grade
Task 5 150 -190 words
Achieve-
ment overall summary

✘ all key data covered / data is highlighted well

there is a lack of detail, you need to be aiming for around 10 or 12 points of data

For each of the four categories yo9u should be giving opening and closing data.
You give closing data for NONE of the categories!!!!
data is reported accurately

Cohesion 5 ✘ logical separation of data into paragraphs

and I have no idea why you chose to split it like split it like this. You should separate
Coherence it by those that rose significantly and those that rose to a lesser degree
✘ body paragraphs start with a phrase that indicates the data in the
paragraph
Not done for first body paragraph
logical paragraph development

linking phrases are used well

Vocabulary 7 ✘
appropriate word choices / control of word endings/forms
Errors and changes are highlighted in yellow

spelling is correct

Grammar 7 ✘
articles (a, an, the)

✘
sentence structures are correct

Errors and changes are highlighted in green

Overall 6 Very disappointing. Not enough data, not even the basic requirement of the
opening and closing figure. Data separation was flawed, and you did not signal
clearly your separation policy.
Data Separation

Data separation is a fundamental component of an IELTS report. When

separating data, you need to not only separate logically so that there is even
coverage of the data using two or three data paragraphs, but you also need to
signal your separation point to the examiner. In order to signal this to the
examiner the first clause of each of the data paragraph should signal the data
separation point. You can see an example of how to do this in the model report
provided below.

The aim of data separation is to achieve even coverage of the data using two or
three data paragraphs.

Example
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Questions and model answers

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 ielts-writing-task1-common-errors
 writing task 1 future Task
 planning Task 1 academic
 task-1-academic-map
 task 1 academic process
 task-1-academic-process-quiz
 task-1-academic-process quiz answers
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 task-1-academic-cot-quiz
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 task-1-academic-static
 task-1-academic-change-over-time

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