The Composite of Self

Where does anyone begin in a search for identity, considering their small existence
among many others?

In my story, I began as a daughter, picking up other roles along the way, such as being a
friend, and now, a student. None of these roles replaced the other, but rather come together to
constitute my identity. These roles reflect the different facets of my personality and the
relationships I have formed with others over time. These roles naturally formed through my
interactions with different agents of socialization, and they adapt and evolve as I meet more, but
currently, I am a daughter to the Forte Family, a friend to my Peers, and a student to the School
of Humanities. While these roles blend together, they are also reactive, and, I find myself
adjusting my behavior and language in my roles to connect better with the people they are
intended for, emphasizing certain aspects of myself.

But the reactivity of these roles, and essentially myself, are limited to the shaping of the
self through the Microsystem. Many other systems in my environment that are beyond my
control, affect my roles, such as Exosystems like school administrators and other such authorities
form codes and rules that I must comply with in my conduct at my school community. Lastly,
where and when I was born, and spent my youth developing in, shapes the general themes
present all throughout my roles. The Philippines as a Macrosystem sets my ideologies and beliefs
apart from those born in other countries in Asia, especially as one of the countries in the world
with the most Catholics. Being born in the 2000s also allowed me to experience almost every
major development in digital technology and the internet, as I grew as a person alongside it,
finding camaraderie and community at my fingertips, which is certainly a unique experience to
my generation and those past it.

Although my roles are ultimately a part of me, and are crucial tools in my development
and becoming an adult through interdependency, I am still an individual with autonomous
structures that aid in the process of my viewing and reacting to the world around me. Structures
like Id, Ego, and Superego, that are separate from my roles as a person, but are just as crucial.
These are what enable me to not only meet my needs, but also utilize what I have gleaned from
my interactions with others in selecting my choice of action in everyday situations. Despite being
autonomous in the sense that I choose what actions are appropriate to do, especially now as I
grow into adulthood, practicing independency, I am still never truly free from the influence of
others due to taking what I learned from them in choosing every one of my actions. Thus I can
only define my authentic identity of self as both autonomous and interdependent, both
influencing while being influenced by society, the world that is outside the one within me.
 Throughout this course, I have come to develop an understanding of the different
concepts of the self, as a system, and as part of a system. A self that learns from its relationships
with others, society, and the culture around it while in turn affecting them through the sharing
and practicing of that culture. Individuals like my parents, my grandmother, close friends,
teachers, and even online influencers, are among some of the most significant people in my life
who have participated in such reciprocal interactions with me, having left lasting impressions on
my growth. Their influence has given me different insights into different perspectives, changed
my beliefs, and imparted upon me, valuable lessons that have greatly contributed to my personal
growth. My story of discovering myself would not be complete without them. But again:

Where does anyone begin in a search for the self, considering their small existence
among many others?

The self is already within us since birth, ever-present in our nature of Id, balanced with
Superego by Ego. It’s multifaceted, and ever-changing in the roles that we perform in front of
different audiences that we have different relationships with. It has a lifelong journey of
development, ever-growing as we reach new levels of awareness and stages of individuation in
life in the context of our different relationships, whether with family, peers, or romantic partners.

As I end this essay, I think about what the title of my life story about the search of self
would be, and I look back to the title of this essay. To keep consistent with the theme, perhaps it
could be “Mosaics and Layers.” This title is reflective of my journey of introspection and deeper
understanding of the self. It symbolizes how I was able to analyze the different selves that
emerged throughout the semester, my continuous exploration of my identity, embracing the
dynamic nature of myself as influenced by several external factors, and my merging of the
diverse elements that make up my unique mosaic of experiences. This title echos my passion for
art, and calls back to one of my first experiences in digital and composite art.