Essay Mark Justification
Sample Awarded
No.
3 4 Instead of clearly agreeing
or disagreeing with the
statement provided the
writer states that they
agree with one part and
disagrees with another.
This depicts the writer as
being unsure of which
aspect of the essay they
will focus on. Irrelevant
points in the third
paragraph. Instead of
justifying why the writer
disagrees with the
argument he presents a
new view as to what
should be done to in the
light of social issues.
The student presents
examples such as
speeding and issues of
privacy-related offenses
to support this stance.
However, the essay lacks
depth in discussing the
Strengths
The student presents
examples such as speeding
and issues of privacy-related
offenses to support his/her
stance.
The language used is
generally clear and
understandable.
The structure follows the
general structure of an
essay, introduction, body
and conclusion.
Weaknesses Recommendation for
Improvements
Writer does not clearly Student should analyze well-
take a stance on the written essays. Examine how the
argument. authors structure their arguments,
use language, and present
evidence.
Lack of depth in
discussing the impact on The student should set aside time
to write regularly, whether it's
social order.
journaling, creative writing, or
Disorganized structure academic essays. The more the
and lack of coherent student writes, the more he/she
development of ideas. will refine his/her skills.
Lack of credential The student should also review
evidence and revise his/her essay multiple
times. Check for grammar,
Issues with grammar,
punctuation, and sentence punctuation, and spelling errors.
Also, assess the coherence and
structure and spelling.
flow of his/her ideas.
The strayed from the
second point made in the Student should back up his/her
introduction. arguments with evidence,
examples, or citations from
reputable sources.
broader impact or
implications of these
actions on social order,
focusing more on personal
perspectives and limited
evidence.
The essay lacks clear
structure and
organization. While it
attempts to present
arguments supporting the
prevalence of law-
breaking, the points are
scattered and lack
coherence. There's a need
for better transitions
between ideas to improve
the flow of the essay.
Additionally, the lack of a
clear counter-argument or
analysis of Trippett's
perspective on the
foundations of social
order weakens the overall
development of the
argument.
The language used is
generally clear and
understandable, but there
are issues with grammar,
punctuation, and sentence
structure that affect the
overall quality of the
essay. There are run-on
sentences and some errors
in phrasing that hinder the
reader's comprehension.

Content of Argument The essay attempts to agree Disorganized structure

(Score: 2): with Trippett's argument and fragmented
about law-breaking presentation of ideas.
The essay acknowledges behaviors among
that many Americans Americans. Numerous grammatical
break laws, citing errors and poor language
examples such as littering Provides some examples to structure.
and speeding. However, support the argument, such
the points lack depth and as littering and speeding. The points lack depth and
elaboration. The examples elaboration.
provided are limited and
The examples provided
lack substantial support or
are limited and lack
analysis. While the
substantial support or
student attempts to agree
analysis.
with Trippett's argument,
the agreement is
superficial and lacks
critical analysis or
exploration of the broader
implications of law-
breaking behaviors on
social order.

Organisation and
Development of
Argument (Score: 1):
The essay lacks a clear
structure and coherence in
presenting arguments. The
points are disjointed and
fail to build a cohesive
argument. There is a lack
of clear transitions
between ideas, resulting
in a fragmented and
disorganized essay. The
argument lacks depth and
development, making it
challenging to follow the
train of thought.

Mechanics and Language

Structure (Score: 2):
The language used is
basic and lacks
sophistication. There are
numerous grammatical
errors, spelling mistakes,
and awkward phrasings
throughout the essay,
which affect readability
and comprehension. The
lack of proper punctuation
and sentence structure
hinders the effectiveness
of the essay.