When I Was

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/26738557.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero
Academia
Relationship: Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shouto
Character: Todoroki Shouto, Midoriya Izuku
Additional Tags: tododeku - Freeform, Romance, Mentions of Suicide, Hurt/Comfort,
Strangers to Lovers, Angst, Fluffy, Dabi is a Todoroki, Dabi is Todoroki
Touya, Todoroki Enji | Endeavor's Bad Parenting, Drunk Deku, Two
Shot, Todoroki Family - Freeform, Color Blindness
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2020-09-30 Completed: 2020-11-03 Words: 11,750
Chapters: 2/2

When I Was
by ellieblue

Summary

Todoroki never liked green. But never hated it less when that color was in Deku.

Notes

So... This fanfic was written in November of 2019 as a gift for a friend. This is a TodoDeku
hurt-comfort story originally written in portuguese. First of all, I have to say that English is
not my native language, so I may have been helped by google translate in some parts of the
fic. Probably it will have something wrong, and I apologise for that.
Oh and it's a two-chapters story.
I hope you like it.
 MR. PERFECT BROCCOLI

Shouto Todoroki was a strange child.

In addition to his ocular heterochromia, the boy acted strangely in any situation he tried to fit into.
It was always the child who played alone, studied alone, and did everything alone. Totally different
from the other kids.

When he was nine years old, he discovered that his greatest pleasure in life was standing on the
pews of the church close to home, observing the mixture between the colors of the stained glass
above and the sun's rays, which gradually penetrated that environment. Maybe it was because those
specific colors were the ones he could really make out, the red and the pink were too beautiful for
the boy. Those that came out of the usual green. He hated green, because it was the only thing he
could see and could never distinguish from blue.

When he was twelve, Shouto created the unusual habit of checking if his sister was breathing every
day when the girl went to sleep. Fuyumi had spent the last summer in a hospital bed because of a
hereditary lung problem, inherited from his beloved father — who had abandoned them four
summers ago. Todoroki didn’t know why he did that, he didn’t know and no one could give him a
sufficiently convincing explanation for that stupid habit. Little did he know that sometime later, he
would do the same to all members of his family and that that silly custom would have saved his
sister's life twice in the next few years.

When he was fourteen, he woke up every morning at the kitchen table. It didn't matter if he locked
the door or tried to sleep in his mother's room, it was very common to find the boy standing there,
ready to go up to the marble table and spend the rest of the night there. In his stupid mind, the only
viable option was to stop sleeping.

And that is what he did.

He spent nights and nights awake. Writing letters to his father, asking how and where he was,
whether he would come to visit them or if he could call from time to time. Letters that would never
reach Enji, of course. Because Enji was a despicable human being, he could never, under any
circumstances, ask him to return. Shouto was a grown boy now, he had no reason to like his dad.
Or miss him, he definitely didn't. Over time, the young man replaced writing with small guitar
training during the night accompanied by doses and more doses of coffee, which his mother and
brothers did not like at all. However, they couldn't complain if Todoroki entered the closet and
didn't make such a noise with the instrument, could they?

And it was in that way that he started to deal with the so-called small night events. Until winter
came and his mother found out what he was doing.

When he turned sixteen, he found that he hated the color green a lot. It wasn’t enough not to be
able to distinguish what was blue and what was really green, he had also just discovered that one of
his eyes had a very bluish hue, different from what his whole life thought. Shit! It was a joke in
very bad taste on the part of fate to put him with two genetic differences in his eyes, as if he needed
that shit! And he really hated them as he never hated anything in his life.

He hated it when the girls in his class praised the color of their eyes, the way they were different.
He hated it when those who knew him since he was a kid played some stupid jokes, pointing to
different colors, as if he was really obliged to answer them. And they still complained when they
were ignored. Argh! How he hated that kind of situation. It was right there that he started to name
what he had, even though he had known it for a long time, but certainly the word tritanopia was
much better than the word color blindness. This was very clear in the sour tone of his facial
expression when he was called color blind.

And it was at that time that Shouto found the medicines in his mother's closet. He was no longer a
child not to know what a black label remedy was, especially one with the well-known name.
However, it was quite impressive to discover such information. Even more impressive when he
discovered that he was the last one to know. He didn't have a tantrum, he wasn't scandalous, much
less a child. There was no reason for that. However, at his core, he had to admit to himself that he
was upset.

With a few days to go before his seventeenth birthday, he received a letter from Enji addressed to
his name and a teddy bear that the boy used to carry everywhere in the past — the same one the
boy delivered to him the last night he spent there. In the letter, written in scribbles, the usual letter
of his parent; there was nothing but a shameful apology and a formal farewell. There, he said that
he knew that the young man had written him several letters and that he was disappointed that he
never got to receive them. Shouto threw up that day when he read the "I love you" written at the
end of the letter. He lay in bed all day, pretending he was sick, because he really was. Tired,
frustrated, constipated, whatever they wanted to call it. For the young man, that sensation could
only be the result of a serious illness that made his heart never stop beating fast, that made him
sweat, and sweat, and tremble, and tremble, without being able to move.

And the eyes full of tears did not dare to release them. I miss you, my son. He had no right, the
teenager thought, how could he be so cruel?

That night was one of the worst in his life, it was true. That was when he decided to do shit, it was
shitty night, why couldn't he claim one for himself? Perhaps that had been the worst of them,
perhaps he had overdosed and taken too many medicines from those who were hiding. And he was
very, very, very afraid when he woke up a while later. He was afraid that his mother was angry,
that she would abandon him too.

But, contrary to his expectations, when Todoroki opened his eyes, the first thing he won was a hug,
full of tears and cries of happiness. As a gift, he won the company of Touya, who lived in another
city because of college, a hug and two nights clinging to his brother, the time he spent in the
hospital. And a long conversation, entitled to a program every Friday morning: psychologist. It
was one of the requirements to make your mother a little less… tense. Yeah, that was the word.

And he tried to follow that schedule copiously.

When Shouto was eighteen, he met a girl named Momo. She seemed to have come out of all those
television clichés, the pretty, popular girl that everyone loved and hated at the same time. He didn't
know how it happened, it was a hot day — very, very hot — and the only thing the young man
wanted was to get home to take off his clothes and just be in his underwear lying on the bed.
Todoroki was sitting alone at one of the cafeteria tables, when Yaoyorozu decided to sit right in
front of him, with her shiny lip gloss and big earrings on her ears. The boy was surprised, of
course. After all, such a beautiful girl sitting at his desk, was quite strange, despite knowing that
his peculiarities attracted quite a few people close to him, as if he were part of a horror show. He
tried to ignore the stare itself, swallowing hard at times, or even taking another sip of his drink to
cover it up, the truth was that he found those situations extremely uncomfortable. But he couldn't
do anything when she called his name, he was lost.

“You really are Shouto, aren't you? What do you do with Iida in Aizawa's chemistry class?” — She
asked, smiling kindly.
He nodded without speaking a word.

“Well, Iida told me to look for him ... he said that you're, like, a chemistry genius and that you
could help me.” — She took the sunglasses off her face, showing her eyes so dark that it could
suck it like a black hole.

“Why did he send you here?” — he said at last. — “Iida has higher marks than mine, there's no
reason for him to send you here.”

“Iida is also a terrible teacher, despite being a great boyfriend.” — Momo smiled, too tired to plead
for help. Shouto's eyebrows arched, frowning. He had been wrong.

“So, hm, why are you here?”

“I told you, I need help. Can you do this for a nice stranger?” — Her smile widened and Todoroki
noticed that her eyes closed when she did that.

"Hm, fine," — he replied, simply, and left her sitting there alone.

Over time, Shouto discovered a very important thing about Momo: she knew a lot of people. He
could barely count on his fingers the number of people who would greet her in the short periods of
time they spent together. But he also discovered that the girl had some real friendships here and
there, and he was jealous for that. He never thought he would ever be envious of anyone, but if
there was anyone he could be envious of, it was Momo, he was sure. Shouto saw in smiles and
internal jokes — which he would never understand — something he never had and probably never
would have. And the teenager felt alone again. Because he was really alone and it wasn't like he
regretted it, no, it wasn't that. Todoroki liked to be alone, but ... well, not all the time. It was
somewhat uncomfortable to see a real group of friends up close without being part of it. So, Shouto
ran away. He ran away from all that crazy bizarre that stayed in his mind from time to time, every
time he was alone.

Except he didn't have a surprise factor, Momo wouldn't let him get away. He didn't know, she had
a very strong power to stick to people and get them close. Todoroki didn't know what to think
about it, but he didn't ask either.

In August, he decided it was time to do something. Lying on the bed had become a very boring
exercise in his humble lazy opinion. So, that decision came to put an end to that situation. He woke
up early, made his bed and rolled up his sleeves, ready to accompany his mother on her morning
runs — which, by the way, made her jump with joy at being able to spend more time with her little
boy. That one, like it or not, had become one of the greatest pleasures in his life (well, besides
music and fapping once in a while). The pulse that ran throughout his body to his fingertips was
like a chain reaction going on inside his chest, booming like music to his ears.

It was just at that time that Momo and Iida invited him to a “little intimate meeting” and, for the
first time, Todoroki decided to go. Well, he didn't exactly decide, in fact, it was more of a
constraint by the two friends, who wouldn't let him stay another second in that room. And even
though it wasn't that intimate — he means, nothing intimate — of those people, he had fun. He
talked to a girl here, a guy over there and that night was kind of special for the teenager.

But the most surprising thing was what happened the next day, when Shouto took his lunch
patiently to the usual table in the usual corner, to be alone as usual. Except, well, he didn't expect
his table to be occupied, which was bad luck, since it was a perfect place, close to the exit and
close to the air intake, but not far from the canteen. It was his most perfect acquisition. And now,
he had lost it.
He was getting ready to sit at some random empty table when one of his arms was pulled with a
certain force and he was taken to that table full of people. His mind was alarmed the instant he sat
down, and when he finally noticed where he was, he realized that the faces there were known. It
was weird — like, really, really weird. And the boy froze in his seat, not knowing what to do. He
acted automatically, taking the food to his mouth, chewing and swallowing, two sips of water at a
time. So he tried to ignore the conversation that surrounded him, but failed miserably when the boy
who hadn't noticed sat in front of him, pleading his head on the table.

"Aizawa hates me," — he said.

"I'm sure of it," — someone answered.

Shouto's eyes failed to observe that personification of a tree that sat very close to him. He must
have been going crazy, but everything about that boy was… green? That was it? He must be
confusing, he could only. How could a person be so green? So indescribably green? Todoroki
spent so long looking at the boy that he barely realized it was totally obvious. Soon, the alien in
front of him — as he gently dubbed it in his mind — was completely flushed. Another boy with
light pink hair (which Shouto identified as blond) grunted beside him, eliciting a loud laugh from
the boy with bubble gum (probably red) hair who hugged him. Had he done something so strange
that everyone would shut up?

“Good” — Momo started, when faced with a half-minute silence from his friends, which was
practically impossible to happen. — “My father gave us a crazy idea.”

“What did your old man make up this time? “ — said the blond boy.

“Please don't say it's about building, camping, fishing, or anything like that. My arms are not going
to endure another torture session like that” — Ochaco, the girl I was talking to last night,
whimpered, sprawling on the table.

“Torture session? Pffft, you are really soft” — challenged Bakugou, with an imploring smile on his
lips.

"You say that, but you can't knock me down in jiu jitsu," — she replied. — “Who's the softie here?
Hm?”

Kirishima laughed again, this time taking a grunt out of Katsuki's mouth — he had remembered
their names in a memory lapse from the night before. Shouto took advantage of the moment of
distraction to look back at the alien boy, whose name he still did not remember. I didn't even
remember if he was at that party. Probably not, he would have noticed it.

The teenager bit his lip in hesitation when he noticed his silent observation, but did not say
anything. And that brief moment ended the boom of the alarm. Lunchtime was over.

***

“My friend thinks you're cute” — she said directly, without taking her eyes off her nails, now well
done and cared for.

Todoroki didn’t answer, he thought it was best to ignore any joke attempts that Momo was trying
to make at that moment. He was more focused on solving that pile of questions in his notebook
than really paying attention to the bullshit his friend was talking about.

“Shouto!” — she called in a loud tone, crossing her legs before throwing them over her friend's lap.
— “You have to start listening to me.”
“Can't that be two hours from now? When I’ll be done with at least half of these questions?”

"Not really," — she decreed. — “It is your love life that is at stake here.”

“Since when do I have a love life?” — he asked, confused. — “And can you take your feet off my
notebook? You are kneading it.”

“Do you think I didn't see how you looked at Deku earlier? I was seeing the time that drool would
drip out of your mouth.” — He looked away, not having the courage to face Momo. Damn time
you went to meet a walking tree!

“What about him?” — he said, trying to appear unassuming and failing miserably.

“I said, he thinks you're, um, cute.”

“And?”

“And what? He never thinks anyone is beautiful and says that. You must be the love of his life.”
— she explained, as if that made the most perfect sense in the world.

“Don't overdo it, Momo. He thought I was beautiful, that doesn't mean anything.” — he said,
letting his shoulders drop, as well as the rest of his self-esteem. But, contrary to what he had just
said, his cell phone beeped, announcing the arrival of some random notification.

Shouto took the device and dropped it on Yaoyorozu's feathers, too surprised by what had just
happened.

“What's it?” — she asked, concerned.

“He sent me... a friend request?”

***

Perfect Broccoli is typing ....

Perfect Broccoli uploaded an image

Perfect Broccoli sent a message

Did you know that it is male penguins

that hatch baby penguin eggs?

it's like, the most perfect thing ever?

Don’t touch my hair sent a message

We’ve already reached that point where you

send pictures of your animals

and strange curiosities out of nowhere?

Perfect Broccoli sent a message

I think you are still unaware of the

concept of “there is no point to send

photo of your pets ”

even strangers can send me pictures of

little animals and I will bladly receive

gladly*

Don’t touch my hair sent a message

I'm pretty sure it's not a good one

receive messages from strangers,

it doesn't matter what their content is.

Perfect Broccoli sent a message

Gods, you put dots in messages

you’re old

and boring

Don’t touch my hair sent a message

A thousand apologies if madam doesn't

is governed by levels of responsibility,

but my mom always told me to

don't talk to strangers.

Perfect Broccoli sent a message

You're annoying

you're lucky that your musical taste saves you

saw the new clip from the kooks?

Don’t touch my hair sent a message

Nope. I didn't have time, on the contrary

of you, I have something to do.

Studying, you know? For the math exam

we have tomorrow.

Perfect Broccoli sent a message

Math who?

I don’t even know what this is

is it to eat?

Don’t touch my hair sent a message

Clown!

Perfect Broccoli sent a message

Yes, I am

I want to see you

(Viewed at 9:31 pm)

***

Todoroki dropped his cell phone on the bed as soon as his sister entered his room without
knocking on the door. She had two cups in her hands, one green and the other in a very light shade
of pink, which made him suspect if it was that color. It was not long before Fuyumi sat on his bed
without flourishes, offering one of the cups, full of thick and suspicious content.

“Break for hot chocolate?” — she said, taking the bangs off her eyes, it was time to cut it.

He picked up the cup spread in the air, taking it directly to his mouth and drinking the hot liquid,
his throat complained in despair, but Shouto didn't care, looking back at the book on the bed.
Fuyumi was there for some purpose, he knew it well. He just didn't know what it was and it
worried him.

“So ...” —he started.

She looked at him, blinking once or twice before dropping the cup on the dresser. She sighed,
turning to look at Todoroki and taking one of his hands. The thing was serious.

“Grandma wants us to spend Christmas with her.”

“I see no problem, Grandma always wants us to spend Christmas at her house, what's new?” — he
replied, without paying much attention.

“You don't understand, Shouto. It’s not our mother’s mother I’m talking about.” – The eyebrows
arched in disagreement, only to fall again with the half-closed look she gave.

“Wait, what do you mean?” — replied, now with all the attention that Fuyumi wanted at the
beginning. — “Is it, like, that grandma?”

“Uhum.”

“How is this possible?”

“I don't know, Mom wants us to go. She said that, despite everything, our grandmother is not to
blame for having the child she had.”

“This is a nightmare!” — He exclaimed impatiently.

“Yeah, I know. But we can't do much more than go over there and pretend it's the best Christmas
we'll ever have.”

“No way.”

“Yes way.”

“Fuyumi...”

“Shouto ...”

“Sasuke…”

“Naruto…”

He narrowed his eyes, hoping she would understand what his upset face meant. Going to that
grandmother's house meant being able to meet Enji, and all Shouto wanted least was to meet his
father. Much less with those pompous aunts who only knew how to talk about the other people’s
lives.

“Is mother going?”

“Of course not, our mother is not "welcome" in that house, did you forget?”

“So, I don't understand why we should go.”

“Because we never spent time there and we never visited grandma. She must want to take our
heads off.”

"All the more reason not to go." — he argued, throwing the book on the dresser before jumping on
the mattress again.

“Shouto!” — She grunted, indignant at the way her brother was behaving.
“Okay, okay, I understand” — He took the cover and covered his body before she even had time to
answer. — "When you leave, close the door" — he said, closing his eyes in a feigned sleepy pose.

Yes, it was true that he hadn't seen his grandmother in a few years, but it wasn't like he was obliged
to visit. After all, his mother was not allowed in that house. His grandmother never hid her disgust
for her grandchildren's mother and made that very clear in the acid voice she used whenever she
spoke to her. Shouto never really missed her. He spent so little time with that woman that he hardly
knew if he could really call her a grandmother.

The cell phone beeped again and only then did Shouto remember that he had practically ignored
Deku.

Perfect Broccoli sent a message

I'm at the playground nearby

comes

now

please

And Todoroki went, how could he deny such a request?

***

Izuku Midoriya was a strange boy.

And that was one of the other many curiosities that he would put on his list. Right after he likes
pictures of animals, he likes good music, in that order. He was strange in the choice of his clothes,
the tone of his hair and the color of his eyes. He didn't know where in the world he had found
someone so green, the thing he hated the most on the face of the Earth, but that when it came to
Midoriya, he disliked it a little less. Izuku was certainly strange, in his sudden curiosities in the
animal world and in the stars that shared space in his face. And maybe, for that reason, in that
general strangeness, his mind went black and the functions performed by the brain immediately
turned off, because ... hm, he even thought that color was not so horrible when combined with that
boy.

Izuku slipped on the playground toy when Shouto didn't give in, making an irritatingly childish
little noise when he hit the floor. His legs were straight when he stood up, throwing his arms
around Shouto's shoulders and smiling gently as he gave him a hug.

“Shoutooo ... You did come!” — He spoke excitedly taking a slight jump to reach his neck.

"Yeah, I did come" — he replied, putting an arm around the boy's back in front of him. He felt his
face heat up immediately when Izuku wasted no time pulling him closer, as if he actually needed
that. — “Are you drunk?”
“Nope, I'm slightly drunk, it's different. That word is not part of my vocabulary.” He laughed at his
own joke, as if he had said the funniest thing in the world. — “I'm so happy that you came, I just
want to squeeze you.”

Shouto sighed, tired and not sure if he really wanted to deal with a slightly intoxicated Midoriya
who kept pulling him to balance. The two of them were swinging from side to side until Izuku
stood on tiptoe, which helped a lot in the exercise of not falling at that moment.

“Shouto! I want to kiss you, can I kiss you?” — Asked, direct, smiling minimally when looking at
him, his eyes flashed when Todoroki's fingers went between the greenish strands of his hair. Deku
was almost certain that he would do it, at least, due to the intensity of the look that the other boy
sent him, it was a certainty that that moment would end in what he wanted. Dumb mistake. When
he tried to get closer and closer to Shouto's pale face, he stopped him.

"No." — he replied, simply. — “I don't kiss drunk people.”

And he laughed when he saw him snort, as if he were a child and someone had taken his candy.

“Why not?”

“Beause” — He smiled and let his lips go to Midoriya's cheek, leaving a cracked kiss there. “Is it
good for you?”

“No.”

"So sorry, Your Lordship." — he said, in a tone that was a mix of formal and playful. — “I won't
be able to satisfy you tonight.”

And Izuku didn't get carried away by that pretty face. Well, maybe just a little bit. He let his face
fall on Shouto's shoulder and snorted when he heard a low chuckle from the teenager.

“I hate you.”

“I doubt it.” — And for that answer, he received a pinch, accompanied by a roll of his eyes and a
small smile.

Yeah, he could never hate him.

 NO ONE WILL SURPRISE ME UNLESS YOU
Chapter Notes

Okay then
This is the last chapter of When I Was, and I could had posted it earlier, but it was a
little difficult to edit, so... here I am.
I hope you like it.

(The portuguese version of this story is on my wattpad profile:

https://www.wattpad.com/user/sabrinavilanova)

[NO ONE WILL SURPRISE ME UNLESS YOU DO]

Perfect Broccoli is typing...

When November came and the snow began to gradually fall, covering the streets, Shouto found
himself alone at home again. Not that that scenario was strictly common, after all, Rei still had her
overprotective side, even though she masked everything with that libertine mother expression. And
Shouto didn't complain, how could he when she spent so much time under Enji's control? Having
to listen to everything she heard, watching her work go away, keeping the family away so they
wouldn't get hurt any more. It was strange to think of those things as if everything had been left
behind.

And it was. At least, it should.

But the boy didn't care much when Fuyumi leaned against his doorframe — which she did
whenever she had something to say — and watched him without saying a word until Shouto finally
looked up to pay attention. He really didn't want to know of any crazy ideas that came up, he was
tired of them. So he kept his eyes on the guitar strings even when his sister started to speak. He
was having his rebellious puberty attitude, it was never too late for that time and his family owed it
to him. Because Todoroki had always been a quiet boy for society's standards. And the maximum
rebellion he had during his adolescence ended him in a hospital. However, in his defense, the boy
didn’t call it a rebellious attitude, he called it a desperate attitude. And, well, everyone agreed with
him in that regard.

All of this led to why they left him at home instead of dragging him out of there. While
concentrating fully on the task of ignoring Fuyumi, Todoroki — entitled to murmurs of agreement
for any question she asked —, the boy ended up falling into one of the traps of his meticulous
relative. And that was how he was responsible for cleaning the house, including the snow-covered
roof and sidewalk. Because snowing had two sides, just like a coin; and the boy believed faithfully
in the theory that the bad luck side was his, since cleanliness was the worst part of that natural
phenomenon that everyone strangely sympathized with. He was no longer a child, he no longer
saw fun jumping in the snow and making little angels with his arms. Maybe he never did that, in
fact, he missed the opportunity a long time ago.

But he really didn't believe it when his mother, Fuyumi and Natsuo embarked on a trip to the
capital to visit the state college that the brother would attend the following year, leaving him to see
ships with only one shovel in hand and the guitar in the other. It was as if he had been betrayed by
his own family. He already imagined the headlines when they arrived from there a week ago:
“BOY IS FOUND DEAD BY LONELINESS AFTER BEING ABANDONED AT HOME BY
HIS FAMILY”. And maybe he laughed at that thought a few hundred times hours after everyone
left. What could he do besides blaming his funeral and dramatic humor, inherited from his
maternal grandmother, for the good laughs he gave? Nothing. It was the kind of joke that couldn't
get out of his mind, so he reveled in every bit of time that day to laugh. Until it got boring. And
Shouto sat there, in that armchair by the window, watching the snow fall.

He took the opportunity to practice the music that had been on his head for weeks, calling for it to
be played. And Shouto was still considering the idea of sharing that with more people, as he had
done with all the songs he had been addicted to.

He bit his nails a few times when he felt his fingertips hurt from the strings that had been changed.
He didn't know how he had survived so long on nylon strings when he should have traded them for
steel strings. Just like everyone did when they reached a higher stage of learning. But he never
really cared about those things. Music only. This was an addiction that no one could take away
from him.

The thoughts were interrupted by the faint ringing of the notification on the cell phone. He rolled
his eyes and ignored it, it was probably Natsuo sending a photo of the trip and, honestly, Shouto
was not obliged to put up with his brother's jokes. But then another notification came, and another,
and another, and another. And it made his mind bubble as he remembered why he always left the
phone in silent mode. But his mother had made him promise to leave the device at a loud enough
volume to listen to her calls — which was extremely irritating and proved once again that Rei
wouldn't really let him be alone and would never make that kind of news feature became a reality
— and what had that earned him? Forty notifications from different apps and a cell phone crashing
every two minutes. It was all he had asked for, of course.

The only dowry he had was the patience not to throw it on the wall, he would never ask his mother
to buy another one. She had done too many shifts to give that one. Then he took a deep breath,
trying to build up the courage to venture into the dark place that was that cell phone with a shitty
processor. And the surprise was great when he noticed that it was not Natsuo making fun of him.
But who could judge him when he thought that? The older brothers' role was to tease the lives of
the younger ones. It was the natural law of life.

His lips parted from one another making a “pop” sound and he finally released the phone to check
the messages. This was not a bad thing. In fact, it was better than he expected. He sighed,
delighted, as he typed something to pretend he hadn't paid more attention to what he should have.

John Without Mary

Why do you send me so many pictures

of you with your cat?

Sherlock of John

Because we are cute?

Is there a problem with that?

John Without Mary

In fact, Marvin is cute.

You are, at most, tidy.

That was an unreasonable lie, he knew that. Midoriya was the cutest thing he had ever seen. With
those freckles covering his cheeks, it made he want to bite them even more. Something that Shouto
would never confide to anyone, since it was the kind of thing that made his ears feel hot just at the
thought. That was certainly one of the goals of the decade for him. But what could he do when
Izuku sent a photo with a reindeer tiara next to his space cat, Marvin? It was the image that would
kill him. Literally. The boy felt he could have a heart attack at any minute. He swallowed, his
hands were sweaty. The weather was so cold, but did he feel so ... warm?

John Without Mary

Hmm ...

Now that I noticed.

Why did you change the names

here in the chat?

Sherlock of John

‘Coz in my mind

John never married Mary

But Sherlock

Only my opinion matters

John Without Mary

Midoriya ...

Sherlock of John

MY GOODNESS!
THIS WAS REALLY WRONG

‘M SO SORRY

I D NOT REALIZE

I DIDN’T ASKED YOU TO MARRY ME

OKAY?

MY GOD, I HAVE TO CHANGE THIS.

John Without Mary

Don’t need :)

I do not care.

I didn't know you liked

Sherlock Holmes.

Sherlock of John

Can I really leave it like this?

I have the habit of exposing

my tastes for all

people I see ahead

And, oh my god, you used an emoji.

John Without Mary

Interesting to know that about you,

Mr. Sherlock.

Are you a crazy fan or BBC fan?

And I use emojis often :3

Sherlock of John

First, your last statement

is a lurid lie
Second, this fan type separation

it's ridiculous

everyone can enjoy Holmes.

Third, if you refer to books

the tales and their subsequent adaptations

for cinema and TV,

yes, I saw all of them.

John Without Mary

I like to know that ü.

And I'm sorry.

I didn't know that this kind of thing

was offensive.

Sherlock of John

You’re pardoned for being to amazing

for me to hold a grudge

And that made Shouto's face warm up again, his heart dancing in his chest, as if Sweet Emotion
was playing right there — the song always made him have that latent feeling. He swallowed, took a
deep breath, pulling and replacing the cell phone case. He didn't know how to respond in those
situations, in which Midoriya praised him out of nowhere and continued the conversation as if
nothing had happened. The boy wondered how Izuku managed to do that, talk and talk over and
over without losing interest on the subject. He was like the Sun, the center of the solar system, and
Shouto ... well, Shouto was Uranus, orbiting him in his slow, frozen way.

Sherlock of John

I heard you're free

this week

John Without Mary

Not exactly free.

We still have school, forgot?

Sherlock of John

You didn't need

remember that

But, well, I was thinking ...

How about we go out on Wednesday morning?

You, me, Marvin, coffee, stuff

John Without Mary

I cannot.

I have psychologist session on Wednesday,

sorry.

Sherlock of John

All good

Health first

So, Thursday?

John Without Mary

Proofreading…

Finals, remember?

Sherlock of John

Pfft, at night?

John Without Mary

Party at Momo's house.

Sherlock of John

My God, you are the hardest person

to find that

I’ve ever met in my life.

John Without Mary

Sorry?

But, look, Friday I'm free :)

Sherlock of John

Finally!

Friday, my house, at 8 am

Is it good for you?

John Without Mary

Combined, then.

Then he hung up the phone, placing the guitar against the wall. The strangest and perhaps even
ironic thing about talking to Midoriya, was that the boy brought him that weird feeling between
extreme peace and extreme nervousness. That warmth that took over his chest while your mind was
a mess. And the heart beat and beat. Shouto bit his lip while turning off the lights, thinking that
maybe, just maybe, he wasn't crazy to think that he liked the boy a little more than the average.

And that was no problem.

***

“Okay, mom, I know.” He said, more calmly than expected. “Yes, I'm eating, no, you don't have to
worry.”

He sighed, listening to her make the same responsibility speech for the third time in the last hour.
He knew that his mother cared and that, yes, that was a big step in their relationship of trust.
However things were really calm, really was, she had nothing to worry about. It was bullshit to
ruminate the whole trip instead of enjoying the ride. And Shouto was sure that she didn't enjoy it
while she was with him in her head.

He shook his head negatively, listening to Natsuo's low voice on the other end of the line. They
were getting ready to have lunch somewhere and the red-haired teenager, for the first time, wanted
to be in that place. Eating out was a privilege they had when traveling and Shouto envied his
brothers for it. His mother said goodbye briefly on the phone, but the call was not disconnected,
Todoroki was sure he still listened to Rei's breathing and knew that she wouldn’t hang up if he
didn’t do it himself. So he said goodbye again, in a low tone, before touching the screen, ending
the call.

He closed his eyes briefly, bringing his thumb to the base of his nose. He wasn't angry, it wasn't
that. Maybe he shouldn't think too much about the things that happened there with them, but he
thought, there was no way, that little bug was in his mind talking over and over about how he
should do exactly what he didn't want to do. So he didn't take his eyes off his cell phone until
Natsuo answered his message, which he sent while talking to his mother on the phone. And when it
was answered, he couldn't help the sigh of relief that came out of his mouth. Things were going
well, apparently. He licked his lips and let his shoulders drop, even before he threw himself on the
rug on which he was sitting again.

He received another notification, another message from Natsuo, this time with a picture of a
laughing Fuyumi, looking at someone. Shouto raised his eyebrows when he read the caption "our
little sister got along" and did not avoid answering "she is older than you", because his brother
knew how to be truly unbearable with the jokes when he wanted to. He laughed when he received a
thoughtful emoticon and turned off the screen, making sure he didn't have to answer it.

He waited a few minutes just to hear the alarm go off, announcing that it was time to get ready to
go to the appointment. He didn't know what he was going to say that week, he hoped that
something would come out while he was sitting there, looking at the picture behind him, without
being able to face his psychologist's face. Finally got up to hunt for his keys, it was time to go.

***

Nightmare Family

Firebender:

Someone makes Natsuo stop

sending pictures of Fuyumi’s new boyfriend.

Airbender

I don't know what you're talking about

Earthbender

Natsuo did WHAT?

Airbender
Nothing (◑_◑)

Avatar

Natsuo is making memes

with your new “love interest”, Fuyumi.

Airbender

Traitor (≖.≖)

Avatar

OMG, tRaItOr

It's not my fault if you’re

being an AsShOlE

Airbender

Fight me ( ︡ '-' ︠)

Earthbender

Thank you, little brother.

But don't call Natsuo an asshole.

Airbender

Ahá!

Avatar

Fuyumi, this is a meme.

So unfair.

Firebender
A bunch of dramatics.

Shouto, you're home, aren't you?

Avatar

Yep! :3

Firebender

I arrive there at 10pm.

And, my God, since when did you

use emoji?

Airbender

The name of this is

Midoriya effect.

Just saying ≧ ◔◡◔ ≦

Firebender

Midoriya isn’t that boy

with green hair? The crazy one?

Airbender

Yep, our baby’s

New boyfriend

They grow up so fast.

[crying in spanish]

Avatar

Go to hell.

He’s not my boyfriend.

Airbender

Still.

Earthbender

No matter what you

are, we support you.

Mom too.

Firebender

Anh, guys, I think

Shouto doesn't want to talk about it.

Avatar

Thank you, Dabi.

Firebender

But he’s cute,

He really is.

Avatar

v (‘.’) v

***

Shouto woke up early that day, hearing the door slam at the same time the alarm went off. Dabi
had arrived on time, as always, from his "pass" at the gym — one of his excuses to talk to his crush
while doing some exercise. He heard his name being called and the door of his room opened,
showing a sweaty boy, even with the freezing cold outside. His hair was down and the white tank
top stuck to his body, giving an even more disgusting look to what already looked like a mess.
The young boy grunted at the sight, murmuring something close to "go shower" before throwing
the blanket over his head again. But Touya didn’t let him remain in his den, resting his hands on
the blanket and pulling it hard enough to get him out of bed.

“This is aggression, Dabi...” Shouto yelled.

“It's not my fault if my dear little brother spent the night on the spree and was unable to sleep.” He
clashed, as he folded the blanket to throw it again on the lying teenager's head. “It's already half
past seven, time to get up. Come on, lazy, you have a psychologist today.”

The boy raised his eyebrows, removing the fabric from his face. His brother was uninformed. He
got up as he leaned against the headboard, crossing his legs before rubbing his fingers over his
eyelids. Okay, well, maybe he hadn't told the brother exactly when he had left the old psychologist,
but it wasn't like he really needed to say either. Touya didn't need to know about every aspect of his
life.

“The session is on Wednesdays now. So, I don't have to get up so early on Friday morning!”

“Since when do you have an appointment on Wednesdays?”

“Six months ago... when I changed my psychologist.” Touya frowned, confused. And he fingered
his own pants.

“I didn't know about that.” He sighed. “How is the new psychologist?”

“She is less lively and positive than the other, that guy gave me chills.” explained. “But she’s
better for me. Kick my stomach without thinking twice, metaphorically, of course.”

“Hm, these are the best.” He smiled without showing his teeth. “But, come on, get up. It is not
because you have nothing to do, that you will lie down all morning. I made you coffee and
consider it courtesy of your kind brother, because I am in a good mood today.”

“Does this good mood have to do with the gym?”

“Exercise always gets me excited.”

“Of course, especially when you see you know who.” He winked. “How was the bird?”

“Ha, how funny you are, a great joke.”

“I only said the truth.”

“Shut up and get up.” He opened a wardrobe door. “You have to eat.”

“You have to take a shower and I'm not complaining.” He laughed when he saw Dabi's angry look,
before putting his feet on the ground. “I won’t have breakfast here today, I’ll hang with a friend.”

“Hmm, is this friend Midoriya by any chance?” He asked with a smirk on his face.

“Go to hell, Touya.” He laughed, running his hand through his little brother's hair.

“And what do I do with that food on the table?”

Shouto shrugged.

“I don't know, call Hawks.”

***

Shouto Todoroki was tired, but he didn't know why, as he slept perfectly well during the night. The
feeling of physical and mental exhaustion took him at the same pace as his feet hit the ground on
that long walk to Midoriya's house. He still didn't know if it was a good idea to go there, accepting
the invitation to have breakfast with the boy seemed very pleasant. But there was a problem with
the whole story: It would be him and the other teenager eating, it would be the two of them alone.
And all the fuses in Shouto's mind were blowing up one by one until he reached the door of the
green house, which was two houses before the corner. It was neither too big nor too small, snow
was scattered in small grains on the balcony and the door was decorated with small stickers, which
the boy interpreted as cute.

He watched his feet shuffle on the welcome mat and sighed before ringing the bell. It didn’t took
long before he was answered, Midoriya seemed to be glued to the door by the speed with which he
opened it, presenting his smiling figure in the morning. Shouto gave himself the privilege of
watching him for a few moments, his messy green hair was turned down, and his face was still a
little puffy, which made Todoroki wonder if the boy had just woken up. His eyes followed his
cheek and then went to his lips, which also had a slight swelling. Thinking about it, he licked his
own dry lips before Izuku called him in.

The first thing he noticed was the color of the internal walls, all in a curious shade of green or
brown, which made the boy question the good taste of that family. And when he got to the living
room, he found a pile of patterned pillows, not to mention the other two armchairs and the only
sofa he had there. Todoroki tried not to think it was cute, but he had been defeated longer than he
thought.

“So...” Midoriya started with some discomfort. “I still need to take a shower, do you have a
problem waiting a little bit?”

Shouto just shook his head, slowly unbuttoning his overcoat. Inside that house, winter didn’t seem
to exist, as they put the temperature two degrees above average, which was a nightmare for a lover
of the lower temperatures like the young redhead who was just a few steps from the room itself.
Deku, he loved the sound of that nickname, he gestured again, in a silent request to follow him.
And Todoroki did.

At the end of the narrow corridor, a door with a black sign in the center was waiting for them, the
so-called “No Drugs, Only Cats” were clearly marked in white and the boy smiled at that. Holy
shit, what a perfect boy, that was the only thing that crossed his mind right now. And when Izuku
opened the door, Shouto started to laugh wildly — which to the other seemed more like a
contained laugh — because it was just the opposite of what he imagined.

“What? Is it that bad?” He asked, his eyes narrowed in fear, his bitten lips were proof. All
Todoroki wanted to do at that moment was to extend his fingers until he touched the small freckles
spread across the teenager's face beside him. He would caress his cheek and let his fingers go
around his flat ears, carefully pulling on the piercing he had right at the tip of his helix.
Unfortunately, that was just in his imagination.

"No. It was just ... unexpected." He clarified, touching the red strands on his head and making
circles with his fingers. "So, you're a fan of comics…" He observed as he touched the action
figures scattered over the black dresser he had there. A poster of "The Killing Joke" was taped to
the wall, Shouto smiled, because that was one of his favorite comics. “Do you have any around
here?”

Midoriya was still biting his lip when he walked over to the closet, pulling one of the doors aside
and revealing the extensive collection he had. They were of various types, ranging from terror to
the sweetest romance. Shouto waited until he let go of the closet to get closer.

“You can go take your bath, Midoriya. I can be waiting for you here.” The boy nodded.

“Anything call me.”

And he nodded, because it was the only thing he had to do. He knew that his presence aroused
some kind of nervousness in Izuku. It wasn't what he wanted, but it didn’t mean Shouto himself
was calm. He touched the spines of each magazine, reading the titles of each comic one by one. His
eyes automatically glued to the golden title, and when his fingers came closer to him, he heard a
noise of something falling on the floor. He turned his heels just to find a fallen Batman figure, but
he wasn't surprised to find the black furry animal on the bed, licking his own paw as he tried to get
rid of the evidence of the crime.

Shouto smiled and picked up the manga before sitting on the opposite side of the single bed.
Occasionally he looked away from the yellowed pages to watch the cat purring over the sheets.
However, he did not notice when he got up to smooth himself on his left foot, which caused an
astonished reaction in the teenager so focused on his reading. He saw the cat climb on his legs to
lie there shortly thereafter. Okay, maybe that cat was really cute.

Really much.

***

When Shouto was a child, his father's coarse voice was always present in his head, like a thick fog
covering his thoughts. That voice that deafened his ears, removed his vision and trapped his throat,
choking him, preventing anything from coming out. And even though the boy tried very hard not to
listen, when he hid in his closet, with his hands pressing his ears, the voice was still there, even
after Enji left. Even after years and years. He felt that this was the price that he and his family
would have to pay to deserve the little peace they still had. Just before autumn came, his cell phone
still vibrated with that call; in his head, the sound of the vibration did not stop, even when Enji
gave up. And in those hours he could still hear that voice in the back of his mind, telling him to
stop the bullshit, saying that the despair that took over his chest was proof of how weak he was, a
failure, and he was. The worst of all. The greatest weight.

But whenever that thought insisted on arriving, Fuyumi made sure to kick it out. It was just a look,
his eyes on hers, and the hug that took him out of that torment. And the words that made the air
come in and out again. And when she let her fingers lightly squeeze her cheeks, when she lifted his
chin so that she looked into his eyes; at that moment, everything was out of his control, the thick
tears came out of the corner of his eyes and the uncontrollable sobs reverberated throughout the
room, leaving him hoarse the next day. However, even if the pain lasted for hours and hours on
end, that piece of affection served to decongest his heart a little.

Todoroki really wanted to say that all that had stopped, that he no longer heard that ringing in his
left ear and that the voice that was so bad for him was gone. He could say that to himself as many
times as he wanted, but he knew he was wrong. However, that did not mean that he wasn’t okay at
that moment, even though his eyes weren’t focused on that manga page and his head still paid
attention to Enji's continuous voice saying that nothing would work. Even with all that, at that
moment, he felt lighter. With Marvin lying on his chest, Shouto closed his eyes, placing the
booklet open on his face. It didn't take long before he heard the click sound, which caused him to
look back at the door, finding a smiling Izuku looking at the cell phone screen.

“Have you showered?” He asked, startling the young man with green hair before the door half
open. He saw Midoriya's face take on a reddish tinge, but he did not look away as he should have
done, he let himself be lost a little in the sight of the flushed skin full of freckles. He blushed to his
ears, Shouto thought he was cute and really wanted to touch them, but the cat lying on his chest
prevented him from getting carried away.

“Uhum.” The voice came out slightly, even though Izuku didn't even open his mouth, he put his
hands over his face, trying to hide out of shame. It was even funny how the boy acted when they
were alone — or when he was not drunk. “The coffee is ready too, if you want to finish the manga,
I can wait.”

He blinked, throwing his head to the side, questioning.

“No need, I came here to have coffee with you, not to read.” He explained, taking the cat off his
body and took a few steps to put the comic in its place. “One of these days, you have to lend me
some ...” He continued, in an enthusiastic tone. “I mean, I don't find this edition of Sailor Moon
anywhere else, just in those trading and selling stores that charge a fortune.”

Midoriya laughed, leaving where he had entered, and Shouto followed, of course. The boy
squeezed his earlobe a few times as they walked, Todoroki noticed, as well as the other times he
did that. It seemed to be a kind of nervous tic that was always repeated.

"That edition, from the first manga..." He explained, swallowing. “It was my father who gave it to
me. He used to read with me when I was younger. That's how I got into the buying habit.” The low
and discouraged laugh did not go unnoticed by Shouto's ears, who narrowed his eyes as he crossed
the room to reach the kitchen. “All the money I earned went to buy manga, my mother never
understood much, but she never asked either ...”

And then he fell silent, the moment they reached the kitchen, he didn't open his mouth anymore.
The table was set up with a few things, which made Todoroki wonder when he had done all that.
He waited for Midoriya to sit, before taking his own seat. But he didn't stay much longer than the
seconds when she saw him put the coffee in the cup.

“You said he used to...” Todoroki would like to say that discretion was his forte, but, unfortunately,
it was not. He swallowed hard before proceeding, running a finger over the edges of the cup he was
using. “He stopped?”

“He left, Shouto.” He said nothing but that. The red-haired boy didn't look away for even a second,
it wasn't like he didn't know what was happening there.

“When?” He asked, this time, hiding his hands under the reddish wooden table, as he watched
Izuku slide the spoon into the cup.

“Seven years ago, I think.” He shrugged. “It's not like I'm counting.”

And the hands locked, with the fingers tightening the pants and the sweaty palms. The heat had
already infested his body, not in a good way, it was as if the flames were burning inside his
stomach. Maybe it was time to stop, but he didn't. In fact, he opted for the opposite.

“Did he just leave?” He swallowed this time, looking away to the fridge magnet that was behind
Midoriya.

“Yes, he left without knocking on the door, not a word.” He smiled wistfully and sighed as he
sipped his coffee, which by now was getting cold.

Izuku didn't seem nervous, Shouto observed. He looked more upset, disappointed, than sad. And
he couldn't help feeling pathetic for not knowing how to deal with it, because he never knew how
to deal with situations like that. However, Todoroki was a curious kid since he was born, the
questions slid through his tongue to the air, without the slightest hesitation. And maybe that was
the most uncomfortable thing on the scene, because he didn't even know why he was doing it,
talking about it. And even more, he didn't know why Izuku was answering him, he didn't know
why he hadn't stopped him yet. Perhaps that was the motivation for what he would say, a while
later.

"I'm sorry."

Fingers crossed.

However, the expression on his face was the same, which made him think that perhaps the other
boy did not find his words sincere. Shouto was afraid that his lack of expressiveness would affect
the way he conveyed what he felt. Because the boy understood what was going on. He understood
that sensation that took over his chest and put an end to any good feelings that remained. But he
didn't know how to say that. And he was terrified that Midoriya might, somehow, not interpret it
that way. Shouto was really sorry, he only said little. In grammar classes, he learned that the
interpretation of a text depended on how the sender passed on the message. And it would be his
fault, his alone, if Izuku thought he was a heartless monster. Perhaps it was true. If he didn't know
how to say the right words at the right times, why ask? Why be curious if in the end you were one
of those people who didn't seem to care?

“Shouto?” Midoriya called him, taking him out of that trance. The frustrated look made his
stomach clench and he couldn't help it when the word rolled out of his mouth.

He repeated and repeated his name, Todoroki even heard the push of the chair, the cup falling on
the fabric that covered the table, soiling it almost completely and Midoriya's murmured excuses
when he got up to try to repair that damage. Still, Shouto did not move, his hands were still glued
to the special fabric of his pants. In a moment, everything stopped. And Midoriya sat down again,
with a frustrated expression on his face, laughing without grace. The silence lasted for long
seconds until Shouto swallowed and said:

“Sorry.” He looked away. “I don’t know what to say.”

Izuku held on, he didn't dare take his eyes off the other teenager's face, because he knew that at
one time or another he would give up running away from his gaze. He smiled then. He let his
shoulders fall, together with his hands, which touched the table, scratching the material. That
coffee was being a disaster.

“How did it happen?” He asked, his eyes unfocused, his lip bitten.

“Hm?” He didn’t answer audibly, just touched his forehead in the same place in Shouto hid a scar,
not too long, under his hair. “Oh!”

He felt that bad feeling build up inside his chest. He saw Midoriya's calm face on the other side of
the furniture. Did not answer. He even opened his mouth, but closed it soon after. He realized that
he couldn’t find the right words to answer that question, since it had been a long time since
someone had asked it for himself. It had been a long time since Shouto had bothered to answer. He
felt his own shoulders tense, before sinking once again into damaging memories, the ones he had
tried to bury long ago. But Izuku didn't let that go, looking away, swallowing. And the surprise on
Shouto's expression seemed to excite him even more, when Midoriya stood up and grabbed one of
his hands, pulling it lightly to follow him. Todoroki did, obviously.
Midoriya was taking him to the living room, where he threw himself on the sofa, which ended up
happening to Todoroki too, in reaction. The green-haired teenager crossed his legs over the
upholstery and looked back at him, smiling in sympathy. Shouto didn't want to think about
anything else after that. Not in Izuku's hand over yours, nor in how he looked at him patiently. Nor
how he wanted to kiss him so much when the other boy had exposed him in a previous situation.

"You don't have to tell me anything ..." He started, biting his lower lip. Shouto saw him look away,
flushed, and didn’t hide his surprise when the boy's fingers touched his cheek, caressing that
region. “Just know that I'm here with you when or if you want to tell anything, okay?” He froze,
not knowing how to react. Todoroki tried to pull away on impulse, but Midoriya wasted no time,
grabbed his hand again and didn't let him go. Shouto did not understand the feeling, of being
sucked more and more out of the hole where he had been. His gaze was lost on the teenager's green
eyes without realizing it, and he only stopped it when Izuku laid his head on his shoulder, speaking
the words he wanted to hear so much:

“You are not alone, Shouto. I'm here with you.”

***

Izuku's friends were certainly the most dysfunctional people he had spoken to in his life — not that
he had spoken to a lot of them, anyway. The point is that Shouto would never understand how
information was processed within that circle. Whether it was the way they shared stories, most of
them old, or how they spent their time talking — that was an understatement for fighting. And
even so, Shouto decided to accept living with everyone immediately. Not least because he was with
Iida and Momo for some time and they looked cool, okay, not that cool. The point was that
Todoroki did not know how to behave in that niche, and his attempts at removal were futile
considering the fact that none of them let him be alone in his corner. He felt like a little boy
adopted by a troupe of weirdos.

And Shouto didn't hate that. Why? He never knew.

It was Thursday afternoon, Christmas was approaching and the teenager was seriously thinking
about how to escape the event at his grandmother's house. Not that he hated her, it wasn't that, just
that the man was more likely to be in his house, and Shouto didn't want to find him at all. The days
went by and he knew his chances of getting away from that dinner were getting lower and lower.
Fuyumi had already prepared his clothes, for example. While Natsuo stamped his foot saying that
he would not go to that place nor that the angels would fall from heaven and plead — what Shouto
thought unlikely to happen, since the angels were not there for his brother.

Except that Shouto saw in the group of freaks of his ... well, Midoriya, a way out of that mess he
was in. Momo would throw a party at the lake house, because she was rich enough to have a house
next door, and she had invited everyone, and that included Shouto, even though he didn't want to
admit that he was part of that group yet. And after an endless discussion with Fuyumi, he managed
to convince her that, no, he wouldn't go to that woman's house. He had to turn it on and they talked
for a while. That action had cost him two weeks of his vacation at home, but okay, he even liked
the lady's house and would do anything not to find his father.

When Christmas came, the boy did not know what to do or what to wear. He needed some three
hundred pieces of advice from his mother before he chose a sweater as reddish as the red strands on
his head, which would stay hidden for some time inside the dark brown overcoat he always wore.
Fuyumi insisted that he wear the white scarf his grandmother had sent her as a gift the year before.
And voilà, he was ready. He had spent the last night talking to Rei about any topic, while sharing
hot chocolate and stories from the woman's past. A happy past, a past that Enji was not a part of.
But there he was, in that moment, looking in the mirror, wondering if he was too dressed for the
occasion. Turgid anxiety hitting the chest. It would be a good day, a good week, he hoped, after all
that was what the whole situation promised, right?

Hours later, sitting on the crimson sofa in the living room, while Momo talked animatedly with
Iida and Ochako in the kitchen, he watched from the peripheral vision Bakugou sipping from the
glass of juice from time to time. Kirishima seemed less bored when discussing with Kaminari about
anything stupid that the head and the pair of stillness, Jirou and Midoriya, just watched them
without blinking. Shouto had not spoken to him since that day. Which was, at the very least,
uncomfortable, since they had established a conversation routine via messages.

“Say it.” Bakugou started. “If we were in a zombie apocalypse, who would die first?”

“Midoriya.” All of them responded at the same time. Izuku's face was on fire with all eyes turned
to him.

“Hey! Why me?”

“You are too good.” Explained Jirou. “I would want to go back to save anyone who was left
behind. Even if it was a lost cause.”

And everyone seemed to agree with that statement. Kaminari even laughed in his friend's face,
even after the curses that Jirou had thrown at him. The weather seemed mild there, and Shouto
wondered internally if he deserved to be in that space, invading everyone's routine. It wasn't
normal, was it? For that dysfunctional group, he was a long way from the line of companionship
that everyone had. He would definitely never be part of it, even if he wanted to.

Shouto watched everyone leave the room when Momo called them anywhere. And he found
himself alone in that room again. At least, until I heard Izuku's serene voice call out his name.

“Will you not come?” And held out his hand.

Dinner was really good. Momo's parents had ordered two huge dinners, one for the main house and
one for the house where they were staying. Shouto doubted that that small group could eat so much
food in one night. But he realized that he was deeply mistaken when he saw Kaminari and
Kirishima groaning in discomfort with their bellies and half of the empty table plates. After all that,
they talked. And the redhead was not left behind. Some drank wine, but he drank hot chocolate, as
did Ochako and Izuku, who had promised not to get drunk that night.

It was a very pleasant night, interrupted by Katsuki's scream in an attempt to sing Eye of the Tiger
in karaoke, with everyone laughing and whistling at his performance. However, like everything
else in this life, the night ended peacefully and everyone went to their respective rooms. Well,
everyone except Shouto... and Midoriya.

The green-eyed young man was sitting beside him on the black sofa. At that moment, he was
relaxed enough to let his legs rest on Shouto's lap, who would describe that position as
uncomfortable. With his head on his shoulder, he hummed some music that Todoroki didn’t know,
breathing heavily, as if he were already sleepy. He felt his hand stiffen in search of his own, and
there they linked their fingers. It was the first time that Shouto felt the warmth rise by his
fingertips. His face felt hot and his sudden urge to smile, even if it was a simple curve of his lips.

He did not notice when Midoriya became too quiet, his eyes closed showing how sleepy he was.
Okay, it was time to go to bed.
“Izuku ...” Shouto called.

“Hmm” that was the answer.

“Izuku, it's time to sleep.”

"But I want to spend more time with you." He replied slyly.

Shouto laughed nosy, pushing the boy's legs to the floor in an attempt to send him to the room, and
then stood up, pulling Izuku by the hand.

“We have a whole day tomorrow.”

“Yeah, but we don't have a whole day alone.” Todoroki raised his eyebrows, pulling him down the
corridor that would lead to the other teenager's room.

He opened the door without much haste to enter and felt Izuku's fingers tighten on his hand. The
shock caused Shouto to turn his body backwards, finding a smiling Midoriya, watching the bed. He
tried to free himself from the grip on his hand, but it was a flawed move, as it caused Izuku to look
at him.

“You are too complicated, Shouto Todoroki.” Said Midoriya, in a sigh, while pulling him by the
sweater to stand on tiptoes and capture his dry lips. For a moment, Shouto didn’t know how to
react, he was paralyzed by surprise. But didn’t took too long before he pulled the other boy closer,
sticking their bodies together.

It wasn't rushed, desperate. No, on the contrary, it was a sweet mixture of all the anxiety they had
for that moment with the lightness with which Midoriya's lips moved over his. The gloved hands
were now on his red hair, smoothing the strands as if they were the most precious thing he had
ever touched. Todoroki, on the other hand, remained firm in his position, letting his fingers lightly
press the other teenager's waist.

He really wanted to bring Izuku closer, even if it was almost impossible. He felt Midoriya slowly
move away and opened his eyes so he could see him again. The redness of his face made a trail to
the tips of his ears, and Todoroki fulfilled his sudden desire to touch them, placing a light kiss on
his flushed cheek.

“You are so cute, My God!”

Izuku laughed at the comment, sitting down and hiding. Shouto hugged him again, preventing
Midoriya from going away. He threw his head on the boy's shoulder, pressing his arms against his
back and let out a sigh of relief when he was returned. It was true that, in his perspective, Izuku had
always been a tangle of beautiful things. He was the type of person Todoroki never thought he
would meet. And I enjoyed being able to meet him, hug him. Love him the way he wanted, and the
boy deserved it.

At that moment, Shouto thought, the green that the other boy displayed so much had become his
favorite color.

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