PARANOIA

TM

ROBOTS OF
UNUSUAL
SIZE
Alpha Complex Mission Dossier 01
not for troubleshooter use
PARANOIA
R O B O T S O F U N U S U A L S I Z E

Written by
M. J. DOUGHERTY

Paranoia created by
DAN GELBER, GREG COSTIKYAN AND ERIC GOLDBERG

GRAPHIC DESIGN AND ARTWORK

Will Chapman, Amy Perrett

EDITOR
Matthew Sprange

FLY-BLOWN VISIONARY
Ken Rolston
CONTENTS ROBOTS OF UNUSUAL SIZE 4
MISSION BACKGROUND 5
ALL ABOARD THE GREEN CLEARANCE MACHINE 9
INCOMING!! 18
SECTOR 49 22
AN AUDIENCE WITH OLD ‘49 24
THE BATTLE OF SECTOR 49 26
BEFORE AND AFTER: A FEW NOTES 29

Paranoia TM & © 1983, 1987, 2017. Eric Goldberg & Greg Costikyan. All rights reserved. Mongoose
Publishing Ltd., Authorised User. The reproduction of material from this book for personal or corporate
profit, by photographic, electronic, or other means of storage and retrieval, is prohibited. You may
copy character sheets, record sheets, checklists and tables for personal use.
Published by Mongoose Publishing, Ltd. Published 2017.
BAAA
AAAA
AAAA
AAAA
AAAA
AAAA
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AD N
EWS
 W A R N I N G
CLEARANCE LEVEL VIOLET

ROBOTS
OF UNUSUAL
SIZE
G reetings, friend Gamesmaster! (if you are not the Gamesmaster-to-be
of this adventure, stop reading right now and destroy this document
by fire. Or destroy yourself by fire, that also works). Anyway, contained
within this document you will find an exciting(ish) mission for a group of RED
clearance Troubleshooters. In their loyal service to the Computer they will
venture Outside Alpha Complex (!!!) aboard a Robot of Unusual Size. They will
encounter Treason, Self-Interest and Buttercups, all of which are bad. They will
of course deal with these threats to Our Way of Life in the regulation manner.
Not knowing the regulations for dealing with buttercups is of course treason.
Thank you for your cooperation.

So, what’s going on here?

4 AN EXECUTION A DAY K
EEPS THE TREASON AT
BAY!
 5

MISSION BACKGROUND
Alpha Complex is Short of Resources. That’s a bit of an understatement
really; the resource-recycling equipment is only kept running by the regular
recycling of its components. The shortage reached crisis point in Year 214,
and since it’s been Year 214 all, err, year, Alpha Complex is well past crisis and
heading for total meltdownville.

Naturally, a solution has been found. Intrepid parties of Authorised

Scavengers equipped with screwdrivers and scavbots scour the countryside
around Alpha Complex for resources, but these days they mostly scavenge
the remains of the last scavenging party. Prospectorbots are sent out from
time to time to search for concentrations of resources… but the usual result
is a good day for a long range Authorised Scavenger party, i.e. happening
across the remains of a burned-out prospectorbot.

Every now and then, a prospectorbot actually survives long enough to report
back, and occasionally those reports contain data on a concentration of
Something Useful. So it was with Prospectorbot 7449… sort of. 7449, better
known as Old ’49, is a veteran of many missions. That is, its wreckage has
been dug out of innumerable canyons, several riverbeds and the occasional
crevasse. Patched up and sent out yet again, Old ’49 struck gold this time.
Or something. Gold, uranium, sheep…. Whatever it was that Old ’49 found,
it was useful and there was a lot of it. And so began the Great Gold (or
something) Rush of ’49.

The triumphant, if strangely garbled, signal from Old ’49 was intercepted,
retransmitted, filtered, cleaned up and Generally Messed About With. R&D
began working on efficient designs for resource-extraction robots. So did
PLC and HPD&MC. Armed Forces and Power Services got in on the action,
intending to make sure they were not left out of the bonanza that was sure
to come.

The resources committed to creating these giant resource extraction robots

were enormous, which would be ironic if irony were permitted in Alpha
Complex. Not long after the last of the machines, a giant sheep-mining1
device produced by Armed Services, rolled out of the vehicle bay, contact
was lost with the lot of them.

1. Nobody in Alpha Complex is quite sure what ‘sheep’ is, but it must be valuable. Records from the Times Before
occasionally mention economic sectors based on sheep and products made from it, so obviously Armed Services
wants all the sheep it can gather. Already plans are being drawn up for sheep cannon, sheep-reinforced body
armour and all manner of other sheep-based equipment.

P A R A N O I A PARANOIA P A R A N O I A PARANOIA
A crack team of security, armed forces personnel, scientists, technicians
and mop operators was assembled to investigate. They went missing too.
The potential loss of the sheep deposits2 (or whatever it was Old ’49 found) is
unacceptable. So the Computer turns to the Dependable Expendable, the
Universal Solution. Yeah, it rounded up the nearest Troubleshooters and sent
them on a suicide mission.

ONE BOWL OF GRUEL, WITH A BRIEFING TO GO

It’s dinner time in the RED Troubleshooter barracks!

Everyone is lining up with joyful expressions of Mandatory
Gruel Anticipation, bowls at the ready. And everyone is
so courteous when it’s gruel for dinner! It’s just so heartwarming
to see Troubleshooters ushering one another forward to receive
their gruel ration first. A couple of the guys near the front of the
queue are so courteous they’ve come to blows over who should
get the first bowl of steaming hot, tasty grey gruel. That’s so nice
to see, because as everyone knows the first servings are the
biggest and it’s an Infraction (at least) not to finish your gruel.
Gruel supplies are limited, after all. Waste not, get shot as a traitor
not. That’s what we say in Barracks RED 1404, don’t we, guys?

Say it with me, Troubleshooters! Waste not, Get shot as a traitor

not! And hurrah for the gruel ration!

Oh, wait, something’s happening. It’s the BIG Guy. Wow.

The BIG guy struts into the barracks, resplendent in his YELLOW
body armour and peaked cap with its BIG badge of office.
His ORANGE guards sweep the room with the muzzles of their
laser rifles as the BIG guy begins his inspection and summary
execution of a couple of traitors. You grab a bowl of
gruel and tuck in with a display of Mandatory Enthusiasm
as the laser muzzles sweep past you. And then…

2. Sheep deposits. Snigger

6 WHY DO YOU NEED TO K

NOW THAT?
 7

A NOTE TO THE GM
BIG is a new initiative currently being trialled. The BIG guys are tasked with
making it work or having to explain why they failed to do so. After which
they’ll be shot anyway. BIG, of course, stands for Briefing, Inspection and
Execution3. The BIG guys are nothing if not efficient. They sweep into a
barracks, root out some treason, inspect whatever needs inspecting and
brief the Troubleshooters without all that time-wasting going to the briefing
room. BIG is going to be a BIG success, improving efficiency by at least
0.002%. Or else.

You might get around to telling the players about BIG at some point, but
at the beginning of this adventure all they’ve heard is rumours about some
new initiative, and rumours are treason. So they’ll know BIG exists, at least in
treasonous rumours, but not necessarily what it is or what the BIG Guy does.

“You!” snaps the BIG Guy. “Grab your lasers and come with me.” He
flashes a BIG badge, and your iBalls helpfully display a variety of different-
sized arrows to draw your attention to it. The words AUTHORISED BRIFIEING
OFFICER/MISSION ORDERS TO FOLLOW flash up in your vision along with a
siren sound to make sure you noticed.

It is of course mildly treasonous4 to waste good gruel, so the Troubleshooters

should follow the BIG Guy out of the barracks with too-hot-to-hold bowls in
one hand and spoons in the other. Mandatory Gruel Enthusiasm should also
be maintained.

“Mission for you,” says the BIG Guy, leading the way to an open-topped
autotruck. It speeds off as you are getting in, forcing you to juggle bowls,
lasers, spoons… you did bring spoons, right? Oh dear. That gruel is super-hot
today. Better not spill any on anyone important.

“You’re going on a mission. Super-important. Your orders are waiting for you
at your destination. Equipment too. Questions? Well, this is my stop. Enjoy
your gruel.”

The autotruck lurches violently to a halt and the BIG Guy gets out. His guards
get out. You don’t get out. Unless you want to get shot. The autotruck
speeds off at, well, speed. After about half a bowl of gruel, it lurches to
a stop again and opens its doors. Ahead of you, a huge armoured door
stands open, revealing some kind of vehicle bay.

3. Yes, you’re right. Execution does not begin with a G. But BIE is a crap acronym.

4.There is no such thing as mild treason. There is also no such thing as good gruel, but you can’t have everything.

P A R A N O I A PARANOIA P A R A N O I A PARANOIA
 .
KIND
L T O BE
E G RUE
TO B
GOT
YO U’VE

It’s pretty normal in most ways, except that it’s

HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE.

A RED clearance flunky rushes up, trying to push a form into your hands
along with the gruel, bowl, spoon, and whatever else you are trying to
hold. The form is a Briefing Satisfaction Form. You are required to sign it. The
‘comments’ section is already filled in for you. Apparently you are Very
Satisfied with the quality of briefing you received. That’s good to know.

Ahead stands a large vehicle which might have started out as a heavy-duty
transbot. It runs on four sets of huge tracks, with a more or less rectangular
body section festooned with antennae and… stuff that probably does
something. At the front is a big scoop with a bunch of manipulator arms
above it. These are equipped with a range of augers, circular whirlysaws,
chainsaws, short-range laser cutters and grabbywhatsits. The arms move
slowly, aimlessly, restlessly, around the great black maw of the scoop.

The doors at the sides of the vehicle stand open, with retractable steps
extended invitingly. Behind you the armoured door slams shut.

8 MANDATORY FUN TIME B

EGINS IN 3…2…1…
 9

ALL ABOARD THE GREEN CLEARANCE MACHINE

The Troubleshooters have absolutely nowhere to go except into the vehicle.
If they want to fiddle around with stuff in the bay they can, of course. There
are mops, brushes and a few cloths to play with, but not much more than
that. Contacting the Computer produces the predictable response that,
“You have your orders, Friend Troubleshooter. Your Briefing Satisfaction Forms
have been filed for use as evidence in the future. Are you calling to report
mission completion?”

At some point the Troubleshooters are going to need to get into the vehicle.
There is nothing to eat in the vehicle bay except the gruel they brought
with them, and every now and then the lights go out for a while. The
Troubleshooters may suspect that the vehicle moves slightly whilst the lights
are off; maybe it does….

THE GREEN CLEARANCE MACHINE

The Green Clearance Machine is not a GREEN clearance device; it is
a Robot Of Unusual Size designed for the clearance and processing of
Green Stuff And Related Items. Specifically vegetation and topsoil, but the
machine isn’t all that choosy.

The lower half of the boxy central structure is taken up with processing
equipment. The Green Clearance Machine scoops up the top layer of soil
and vegetation as it goes, cutting through obstacles like trees, animals
and unwary Troubleshooters with its assortment of saws, cutters and various
devices suitable for pounding on stuff. Heavier obstacles are cracked into
bits or have holes drilled into them which are filled with explosives from
the machine’s dispenser. The wreckage is scooped into the maw and
processed as the machine proceeds.

Soil and vegetable matter are processed inside the machine, producing
bricks of various materials. Some are suitable for consumption and full
of nutrients. Others are… not so suitable for consumption. Bricks can be
stored inside the machine or pooped out as it goes, leaving behind a trail
of flattened and cleared earth suitable for use as the bed of a temporary
road. The Road Laying Machine designed to partner the Green Clearance
Machine was never finished; it is currently serving as a part-time warbot in
DLX Sector.

P A R A N O I A PARANOIA P A R A N O I A PARANOIA
The upper deck of the Green Clearance Machine is taken up with control
and living spaces for the crew. At the front is a really impressive operating
cabin that overhangs the scary maw and gives a good view of the
vegetation-mangling going on below. Behind this is the main living space,
complete with Gruel-o-Matic dispenser, holographic screens for watching
inspirational vids, equipment lockers and a surprisingly uncomfortable
couch. A bunkroom and utility space (actually a rather small and awkwardly
shaped cupboard) complete the vehicle’s comprehensive living/working
arrangements.

An excitingly narrow ladder runs up to an observation blister on the top of

the vehicle, from where it is possible to get onto the roof via a hatch that
is also slightly too narrow. The top of the vehicle is curved and uneven,
enabling Troubleshooters to fall off into the tracks or the giant maw. Oops.
There are various antennae and Devices Of Unknown Function on the top of
the vehicle, as well as a BOT on a plinth.

Not a ‘bot, a BOT. A Big Optical Telescope. This permits Troubleshooters

to gaze longingly into the distance at a destination they might reach one
day. It serves no other real purpose but was added Just In Case. So was
the Boot Sanitisation Unit located on the back-right corner of the vehicle’s
upper surface. Using this requires standing on one foot on the very edge of
a moving vehicle, above the tracks, whilst the unit cleans, polishes, buffs,
shines and generally does things involving a lot of vibration. It does not work
on boots that do not have a foot in them.

Boot sanitisation is mandatory twice a day.

There is a gantry running right around the vehicle, making it possible for
Troubleshooters to run right around the vehicle. Access is by way of a door
at the rear and one each side of the cabin. Fitness fanatics running laps
will annoy the hell out of anyone trying to work in the cab as they clamber
over the control seats. More about that later…. In the meantime, it should
be noted that the gantry has access points (commonly known as ‘gaps’)
above the tracks. For, you know, access.

10 THIS IS CARL. CARL IS

NOT A TRAITOR. BE LIK
E CARL.
 11

Speaking of access, the usual way in and out is by way of a side door and
retractable ladder leading into the main living space. This area will be the
Troubleshooters’ first impression of the Green Clearance Machine’s interior.
It is, not unexpectedly, drab, utilitarian and a bit smelly. And it’s green inside.
Not the same shade as GREEN clearance stuff, but green nonetheless. Is this
a GREEN clearance area? Are the Troubleshooters authorised to be in here?
Do they have their lasers handy?

They’d better. Because the promised equipment isn’t in the vehicle. Unless
it’s in the lockers. Please be in the lockers.

It isn’t in the lockers.

WHAT’S IN THE LOCKERS?

The lockers contain everything the Troubleshooters could possibly need
on this mission. Well, that’s what their orders say and it’s kind of what they
signed for. Actually most of the equipment lockers contain a certain volume
of air and not much else, but there are a few bits and pieces that might be
useful.

Loppenchops: One of the lockers contains a Loppenchop for each

Troubleshooter. This is a highly technical device with a long handle
incorporating an axe blade, a branch saw, a wickedly spiky spike and
a curious curved probe that might be useful for dislodging parts of a
Troubleshooter from the machine’s machinery. One of the Loppenchops is
an experimental design designated a Loppenchoppenmop. We leave the
details to your fevered imagination.

Vegetation Clearance Device, Incendiary, Projected, Liquid, Experimental,

Mk 2A: This device consists of a pair of backpack-mounted tanks and a
nozzle connected to them with a hose. Could it be a flamethrower by
some other name? Why yes, it could. Perhaps surprisingly, the vegetation
clearance device works quite well, although it only has a range of about
10m and disperses its flamey fluids in an uneven and random manner. The
device is accompanied by some stylish goggles and a set of heatproof
gloves. They are all left-handed and come in a range of sizes. The only one
that fits has six fingers.

Emergency Supplies: This is a large silver box with several thumbprint-

activated locks and a set of incredibly stiff snap fasteners that take several
minutes to get open. The box is empty, but it might be handy to keep stuff
in. Maybe.

P A R A N O I A PARANOIA P A R A N O I A PARANOIA
 MAND
ATOR
Y FO
OT WEAR
MAIN
TENA
NCE
MUST
NOT
BE N
EGLE
C TED

12 JUST PUSH THE BUTTON

. YOU KNOW YOU WANT
TO…..
 13

ARE WE MOVING?
Once the Troubleshooters have surrendered to the inevitable and entered
the vehicle, its outer doors close and its mighty fusion powerplant rumbles
into full life. The vehicle lurches erratically forward and soon reaches its
maximum speed of about one metre per second. That’s 60 metres a minute,
3600 metres an hour. Yes, this thing belongs to a class of vehicle known as
‘crawlers’ and not because it runs on tracks. A wounded Troubleshooter
can crawl about as fast as this thing goes. Oh, and speaking of wounded
Troubleshooters….

Just kidding.

The vehicle bay main door opens when the Green Clearance Machine
is just metres from impact with it. That is, it stands forlornly open for an
embarrassingly long time as the Green Clearance Machine rumbles ever
so slowly forward. The machine is 62 metres long, so the door has to stay
open for a couple of minutes more as the vehicle transits out into a bleak
concrete corridor. The door finally slams shut with a huffy clang and refuses
to open again for the rest of the day-cycle. Not that the Troubleshooters
know about this.

The corridor is 38 kilometres long, meaning it will take the Green Clearance
Machine more than ten hours just to get to the other end. This will give
the Troubleshooters time to investigate the vehicle, their situation, and the
possibility of impending doom. What they do not know is that they are being
subtly dosed with an experimental drug designed to offset the psychological
effects of the Outside on Alpha Complex citizens. The drug is in the air the
Troubleshooters are breathing, and will have taken effect by the time the
end of the corridor is reached.

By the way, the drug smells like horse farts.

The Troubleshooters should have plenty of time to get acquainted with

their surroundings and to discover they are locked inside the vehicle until it
exits Alpha Complex. They will surely find fun things to do like opening the
emergency kit or experimenting with the flamethrower. Once it becomes
apparent that there are not going to be many more little accidents, the GM
should fast-forward on to the Big Doors At The End Of The Corridor.

P A R A N O I A PARANOIA P A R A N O I A PARANOIA
The Big Doors form an airlock of a sort, with the inner doors closing behind
the Green Clearance Machine before the outer ones open. Anyone in the
cabin when this happens will be bathed in bright sunlight as the Outside
is revealed in all its green and unpleasant glory. Normally this is the point
where Alpha Complex citizens freak out, but the Troubleshooters merely
experience a shudder of discomfort and a distinctly horse-farty sort of
stench.

The Green Clearance Machine rumbles out of the armoured doors and
begins chewing its way across the landscape at a truly impressive 0.924
metres per second. There is no way to stop it from doing this, and the
controls do not respond. Nor does the Computer answer calls for instructions,
assistance or summary termination. All that happens is the horse-fart smell
gets a bit stronger and an automated device in the control cabin dispenses
sunglasses. Most are pretty cool, but one pair is a set of star-shaped mirror
shades. Sorry about that.

The mission is underway! The Green Clearance Machine is underway! Are

we there yet?

Nope.

A HELPFUL NOTE
Most Alpha Complex citizens do not know there is anything Outside Alpha
Complex, and knowing this without proper authorisation is treason. The
Outdoors is a source of endless confusion and terror to most clones (so is life
in Alpha Complex, come to think of it) and experiencing things like trees and
grass for the first time can send many clones over the edge into gibbering
madness.

But that gag can be overused, and players familiar with Paranoia might
be expecting to have to roleplay the usual ‘By the Computer, what is this
place?’ scenes. But not this time. The Troubleshooters are fine with the whole
Outdoors concept and not in the least bit freaked out. That might actually
make some players uneasy. Good.

For legal reasons we must point out that sniffing horse farts is not in fact a
cure for agoraphobia. It’s also a bit weird. Stop it.

14 WHY WAI T FOR THE MIS SIO

N ALE RT? SHO OT A TRA ITO
R TOD AY!
 15

Are We There Yet?

No.

What about now?

No.

Are we nearly there?

No.

At this point, we need to discuss Life Aboard The Green Clearance

Machine. Once the Troubleshooters are out of sight of Alpha Complex,
the doors unlock and they can move in and out of the vehicle. It does
not stop, travelling relentlessly in a straight line towards the distant horizon.
The Troubleshooters can get out and do stuff if they want, and since this
thing moves so slowly they are not in danger of being left behind. Indeed,
someone who manages to saw off his feet in a Loppenchop-related
incident could probably still catch up if he really tried.

See if you can make that happen. It’ll be fun.

Anyway, the Troubleshooters are going to have to live in the Green

Clearance Machine for some time. Just them, all alone in the wide world
and out of contact with the Computer. They’ll probably murder one another
within a day. Don’t worry about that, we’ve got you covered when new
clones are needed.

So, here’s how it is.

The onboard computer in the Green Clearance Machine is not very

sophisticated. In fact it doesn’t understand concepts like ‘turning’ and ‘not
driving over that Troubleshooter’, although as noted even a lichen patch
has a fair to reasonable chance of dodging out of the way of this thing. It
was instructed to lock the controls until the Authorised Operator boarded
the vehicle, and has done so. The Authorised Operator is not aboard,
though she is en route. Sort of.

P A R A N O I A PARANOIA P A R A N O I A PARANOIA
In the meantime, the Troubleshooters settle into a daily routine managed
by the dim but not actually psychotic onboard computer. This rather
limited electronic overlord communicates by way of messages flashed
on the interior screens. It occasionally displays motivational slogans like
‘Loppenchops, for when you need to lop and chop!’ or ‘Green Clearance
Machine is underway and on task!’ Although meaningless, this message
may make Troubleshooters of lower than GREEN clearance uneasy. The
Computer does not respond to any communication attempts during this
phase of the mission.

At the start of each day-cycle (actually every 14-30 hours more or less at
random), the onboard computer wakes everyone up with an Efficiency
Shower. That is, it efficiently douses the whole bunk area in warm-ish water,
soaking everyone and their bedding. Gruel is then dispensed by the Gruel-o-
Matic. Gruel is dispensed in two standard quantities: Far Too Little and Vastly
Too Much.

After breakfast, Mandatory Bedding Maintenance and First Boot Sanitation,

the Troubleshooters must complete a designated number (which is different
every day, except when it’s not) of laps of the Fitness Circuit. This means
running around the gantry, clambering through the cabin and jumping
over the access points (gaps) in the gantry above the tracks. Not everyone
can do this at once; the cabin must be manned during the active part of
the day-cycle even though the controls don’t work. Whichever clone has
just been subjected to everyone else climbing over him must run later whilst
someone else is manning the cabin.

Clones are expected to make up a motivational song whilst they run.

Something along the lines of:

Troubleshooters, clearance RED!

Shoot some traitors, make them dead!
Scrubots come and clean the mess!
Troubleshooting is the best!

… only, you know, better.

The GM may choose to award bonus XP Points for particularly inspiring and
motivationistic songs.

16 PLEASE EXPLAIN WHAT YOU MEAN

BY ‘NECESSARY EQUIPMENT AND
AMMUNITION’.
 17

During the day-cycle the Troubleshooters are expected to jump down

from the moving vehicle and investigate anything of interest nearby.
The instructions to do so take the form of messages flashing on the
Green Clearance Machine’s screens. Messages with helpful content like
‘INVESTIGATE NEARBY POINTS OF INTEREST’ will alert the Troubleshooters to
their task without conveying any useful information.

Remember that the Troubleshooters arrived at the Green Clearance

Machine equipped with what they were carrying – notably a laser pistol,
a bowl of gruel and a spoon. But possibly not the spoon. They are under-
equipped and far from resupply. A kind GM might let them scavenge some
equipment from odd corners of the vehicle. A clever GM might let them
scavenge some gear but not what they really need. Spacesuits, plankton
farming kits, a 756-piece screwdriver kit with two critical components
missing. That sort of thing.

What about these points of interest? Well, that’s up to the GM. You can
make as much or as little as you like of these side trips. There are many
things of interest outside Alpha Complex. Most are dangerous or weird, or
both. On the fairly mundane side, we have things like the wreckage of a
prospectorbot, with or without an Authorised Scavenger Team working on
it. Or an Authorised Scavenger Team that decides to scavenge the Green
Clearance Machine. A ruined settlement, perhaps populated by giant
cockroaches. Those are always good.

Odder encounters are at the discretion of the GM. The Prophet of the
Wastelands maybe, or Godzilla on his day off from trampling villages and
breathing fire at stuff. An army of communist pygmies. Whatever you like,
really.

Once it becomes apparent that the Troubleshooters are not going to have
any more amusing Loppenchop accidents, it is time to move on.

P A R A N O I A PARANOIA P A R A N O I A PARANOIA
INCOMING!!
At some point between Gruel Consumption and the end of Mandatory
Mission Fitness Maintenance, all the alarms in the Green Clearance Machine
go off at once. The GM may choose to simulate this by getting all the
players to think of an alarm, siren or alert sound then have them all start
making one of their choosing simultaneously. Award penalties for duplicated
or excessively lame siren sounds.

The communication screens helpfully light up with the words ‘INCOMING

[REDACTED]’ and then go blank. A few moments of nothing-much happens,
and then in the distance an object can be seen. High in the air, flame
belching from its drive or maybe retro-rockets, a canister or missile or
bomb or something is hurtling towards the Green Clearance Machine from
behind. From the direction of Alpha Complex. Oh, dear old Alpha Complex.
It’s been so long since thy doors closed behind us. Is this a gift from the
Computer? A missile?

Efforts to evade are pointless of course, so there is nothing for it but to watch
the object come rapidly closer until it slams down directly on the vehicle’s
upper surface and doesn’t detonate. That’s a good thing. It bounces off
the top, landing a short distance ahead of the Green Clearance Machine.
Directly in its path, in fact. As if anticipating consuming this tasty morsel the
manipulator arms and whirlysaws begin undulating like the tentacles around
a scary monster’s mouth.

From their positions in the vehicle or cowering in the undergrowth nearby,

the Troubleshooters will be able to discern that the object is in fact a
TINCAN. That is, a Tactical Insertion Projectile, Cannon-Launched5. It has
broken open revealing equipment canisters (also broken open) and a RED
clearance clone (not broken open, fortunately). The clone is wearing some
kind of breathing mask. She is lying in the path of the machine and not
moving. In an hour or two she’ll be in mortal danger!

The Troubleshooters will need to get down from the vehicle, avoiding
unscheduled interactions with the tracks, and get the clone aboard. They
might also want to grab the spilled equipment just in case it’s useful. It isn’t,
of course.

5. Acronyms are supposed to sound cool, not to be accurate, okay? TIPCL would be just lame).

18 A CLEAN CORRIDOR IS
A LOYAL CORRIDOR.
 19

The equipment canisters contain mission spares and supplies. 17,004 screws,
clips and assorted fasteners, a complete set of replacement nozzles and
mixing blades for the Gruel-o-Matic and twelve assorted boot-cleaning
devices. Also a self-activating holo-display containing the latest Fun With
Mops episodes. If the Troubleshooters install the Gruel-o-Matic components
their menu will be expanded to include two new variants: More Sticky Than
Usual and Smells Like Horse Farts6.

The clone recovers consciousness after a while and shows no signs of

freaking out upon being exposed to the Outdoors. Her mask is a portable
version of the gas dispensers in the Green Clearance Machine and has
altered her perceptions during the flight from Alpha Complex. Flight? Yes.
The TINCAN was launched from a special high-altitude parabolic cannon,
enabling the clone to reach her destination quickly and safely… well,
quickly. Any replacement clones will arrive the same way.

The clone, by the way is, Mel-R-YLR, the designated operator for the Green
Clearance Machine. Once she is aboard she can inform the Troubleshooters
that the vehicle is indeed not GREEN clearance but is intended for
clearance of green things. She can also unlock the controls, enabling the
Troubleshooters to steer, a bit, and to increase the vehicle’s maximum
speed to almost 2.1 metres per second.

And so the journey continues….

Aplha Complex Ahead!

That is not a typo above. Read on, Friend GM.

The Green Clearance Machine chugs its way through a forest and over a
few hills, across a riverbed, along a ridge, through a marsh, and onwards.
Long after the Troubleshooters have lost the will to live, they finally crest a
ridge and see ahead of them… Aplha Complex!

Not that they know this is Aplha Complex at this time. At first, all they see
is a shanty town of huts made out of robot pieces, with covered corridors
creating the illusion of being underground. The covers are in many cases
blankets or even mats of woven grass, so the illusion is a rather poor one. All
the same, the idea of being indoors is enough to make the Troubleshooters
salivate and twitch, fart gas or no.

6.not that anyone knows what a horse fart smells like in Alpha Complex.

P A R A N O I A PARANOIA P A R A N O I A PARANOIA
A sign above the entrance to this rather pathetic shanty town reads APLHA
COMPLEX: SECTOR 49. The Troubleshooters may notice the mis-spelling if
they are not drowning in drool. Clones move around the complex, visible
through the gaps in its jerrybuilt walls. They are doing mundane work-stuff;
cleaning, repairing and occasionally terminating one another. It’s all so
very… normal.

Well, obviously, no it isn’t. It’s a shanty town made of huts that seems to
be pretending to be Alpha Complex, but it’s home away from home to
the desperate clones who have gone mostly-mad out here in the Outside.
It’s like they have built themselves a fantasy to hide in. In fact, it’s like
that because they have. Which suggests these people are dangerously
unhinged. They are.

There, but for the grace of horse-fart gas, go I.

Oh yes, and in the background behind the shanty-complex, several

Robots of Unusual Size are working. Most are surface-mining types, using
great scoops mounted on wheels to lift huge amounts of material (and
drop quite a lot of it on anyone below) and deposit it on conveyors
leading to processing centres on their rear section. The largest of these is a
Frankensteinian contraption with three such wheels, clearly removed from
other Robots Of Unusual Size and cobbled together into a gargantuan
mega-resource-scooper.

The Armed Forces machine uses different method. It is armed with a

Penetrator Cannon to fire armour piercing shells into the ground and
blast out chunks to be scooped up. It ran out of shells a while back and
now crawls slowly across the landscape making a hollow TINK! noise as it
frantically loads and fires… nothing. Other, smaller (but still very large) bots
gather up fragments of rock, soil, sheep and whatever else gets in the way
and sift out useful materials. These are deposited in large heaps, sorted by
type.

And what a motherlode has been located! True, the largest piles are of soil,
grass and errant wildlife, but there is iron, copper, gold and a remarkable
amount of robot parts. Perhaps Old ’49 stumbled upon a vein of rich
prospectorbot and extractorbot parts? Or….

20 THAT INFORMATION IS AVAILABLE AT

YOUR SECURITY CLEARANCE. BUT YOU
CAN’T HAVE IT.
 21

A group of GREEN clearance clones are coming out from the gates of
Aplha Complex. They are not obviously armed and are waving in a friendly
fashion, albeit with dangerously large and manic grins. They beckon the
crew down from the Green Clearance Machine, and of course it is treason
to disobey the orders of higher-ranked clones.

The Troubleshooters are welcomed into Sector 49 of Aplha Complex. They

are ushered into the sweet, sweet Indoors of an internal room built out of
a gutted extractorbot, and offered some Clear Cold Beverage or a Dry
Bready Thing as refreshments. Yes, bread and water. It’s actually a pleasant
change from gruel.

But you know, there’s something not quite right here….

N.
? GREE
N
GREE

P A R A N O I A PARANOIA P A R A N O I A PARANOIA
SECTOR 49
That’s the problem right there. Alpha Complex sectors are named with
three-letter codes, not numbered. And they are actually inside Alpha
Complex rather than being perched on a hilltop in the middle of nowhere.
In a few days, if the Troubleshooters stay away from the Green Clearance
Machine and do not receive their regular doses of horse fart gas, they will
begin to be seriously wigged out by the Outside and may actually buy into
the fantasy that Sector 49 is the real thing. It’s better than the alternative
forms of insanity on offer in the Outdoors, that’s for sure.

In the meantime, though, the Troubleshooters have a mission. They actually

don’t know what it is though, since they never received a proper briefing.
However, in the middle of consuming a Dry Bready Thing they are suddenly
stabbed in the iBalls by a MISSION ALERT symbol. The Computer is speaking
to them!

ATTENTION ATTENTION. URGENT MISSION ALERT.

APPREHEND AND TERMINATE TRAITOR MIKE-Y-TLX. LAST
SEEN IN SECTOR FJS. URGENT. FAILURE NOT ACCEPABLE.

After an awkward moment in which they must ponder how to terminate

someone back in Alpha Complex when they are so very, very (sob) far from
(wail) home, the Troubleshooters’ iBalls light up again.

DISREGARD LAST. LOCATE AND IDENTIFY MISSING

GREEN CLEARANCE ELITE INVESTIGATION TEAM, LAST
POSITION YOUR LOCATION. HAZARD LEVEL EXTREME.
PERMISSION GRANTED TO DEPLOY SPECIAL WEAPONS AS
PER MISSION BRIEF. FAILURE TO RETURN OR DOCUMENT
USE OF SPECIAL WEAPONS CONISDERED TREASONOUS.

Then, after another moment…

22 WARBOT. FUNBOT. KNOW

THE DIFFERENCE.
 23

DISREGARD LAST OF LAST. SPECIAL WEAPONS NOT

AUTHORISED ON THIS MISSION.

So. The Troubleshooters have re-established contact with the Computer!

Actually, contact was never lost but until they arrived at Aplha Complex
there was no real need to talk to them. The loyal but tragically dim
computer aboard the Green Clearance Machine was deemed sufficient to
get the team to their mission destination, and also the fact that the controls
were locked so the Troubleshooters could not deviate from the plan even if
they wanted to.

And now the mission is finally clear! The Troubleshooters have been sent to
find out what happened to an elite GREEN clearance investigation team.
But what were they investigating? Queries to the Computer receive only a
vaguely threatening ‘Request for information noted’ response. So where is
this GREEN clearance team?

Right here. Most of them have supplemented the remains of their GREEN
clearance coveralls with cloaks of woven grass, making them look like some
kind of ragged techno-druids. The wild eyes and manic grins worn by many
of them don’t help much either. Some are less crazed, however, including
the rather charming Jaimie-G-49 who has appointed himself as guide and
advisor to the Troubleshooters.

Jaimie-G welcomes the Troubleshooters to Sector 49 in a rather more friendly

manner than a GREEN citizen would display towards lowly REDs. He gestures
expansively as he points out the Manufacturing Complex (it’s a shed) and
the Medical Centre (it’s a shed), the Advanced Research Facility (shed) and
the Fun Production Zone (yup, shed again). It’s at once strangely homely
and yet weirdly alien.

If asked, Jaimie-G explains that his team was sent to investigate why the
extraction robots had gone out of contact, but when they arrived at Sector
49 they found that everything was just fine (he giggles a bit at this point) and
the bots were hard at work extracting resources as programmed. Everything
is (more giggles) just fine. And would the Troubleshooters like to meet the
Computer?

P A R A N O I A PARANOIA P A R A N O I A PARANOIA
AN AUDIENCE WITH OLD ‘49
As it happens, the Computer is about to give a speech in person. His Tower
of Authority approaches Sector 49 at this very moment!

Sure enough, the largest of the resource-grabbing machines has drawn a

little closer, raising its enormous extraction wheels above the ground for now.
The GREEN clearance citizens of Sector 49 gather before it, resplendent in
cloaks of woven grass and a few bits of animal hide.

From the extraction machine – the Tower of Authority, it seems – booms a

strangely distorted robotic voice. It sounds a bit like someone is using a wire
brush on a styrofoam cup. You could do this to add authentic sound effects
to your speech.

CITIZENS OF SECTOR 49! REJOICE! OUR GREAT MISSION

HAS BECOME EVEN GREATER, FOR I HAVE LOCATED THE
MOTHERLODE!

The motherlode! The motherlode! Cry the

assembled GREEN clearance nutjobs. Some clearly
do not know what a motherlode is, but they’re
happy about it anyway.

THESE BRAVE VOYAGERS OF THE OUTDOORS HAVE

REVEALED TO US THE LOCATION OF UNLIMITED
RESOURCES! SUFFICENT TO KEEP APLHA COMPLEX
RUNNING FOR A THOUSAND YEARS OR MORE! WE WILL
MARCH ON THIS CORNUCOPIA OF SALVAGE AND TAKE
WHAT IS NEEDED! SECTOR 49 WILL ENDURE FOREVER!

24 DID THAT GO EXACTLY

AS YOU INTENDED?
 25

At this juncture, the owner of the voice emerges onto the control balcony
of the Tower of Authority. It is a dented, bashed, scraped and burned
prospectorbot, with the letters 7449 barely visible on its frame. It waves a
sensor hose dramatically and the crowd responds with cries of ALL HAIL
THE COMPUTER! and PROVIDER OF PLENTY, LEAD US TO THIS MOTHERLODE
THING! Weapons begin to appear, passed out by some of the citizens. The
Troubleshooters don’t get any, even if they ask.

In the middle of the cheering chaos, the Tower of Authority and other
extraction machines begin to swivel until they point towards distant Alpha
Complex. Directly along the path laid by the Green Clearance Machine.

WE WILL TAKE THIS MOTHERLODE AND SECURE ITS

RESOURCES FOR OUR OWN NEEDS!

- Blares Old ’49 as the extraction machines begin moving at a pace

that makes the Green Clearance Machine seem like a speedy autocar.

Meanwhile the Green Clearance Machine lurches into motion, whirlysaws

spinning up. Dwarfed by the Tower of Authority, it nevertheless advances in
defence of Alpha Complex. The Tower of Authority swings toward it
and charges to the attack! In just a week or two these Robots of Unusual Size
will bump into one another at a combined speed sufficient to cause
a loud clang.

But in the meantime, there are more pressing issues.

SEiZE THEM! SEIZE THE TRAITORS! TO THE SHEEP

PROCESSING MACHINE WITH THEM!.

- blares Old ’49.

GREEN clearance lunatics begin to close in, as the Troubleshooters’ iBalls

light up with:

P A R A N O I A PARANOIA P A R A N O I A PARANOIA
 MISSION ALERT: UPDATE: TERMINATE ALL
TRAITORS: DEFEAT THREAT TO ALPHA COMPLEX:
SECURE RESOURCES.

Guess they’d better be getting on with that then….

THE BATTLE OF SECTOR 49

First order of business is to survive. The GREEN clearance citizens of Sector
49 have no experience forming a lynch mob, but they make a very good
first attempt. There are plenty of them, backed up by some of the smaller
robots. A straight stand-and-shoot isn’t going to work; the Troubleshooters
will need to find cover.

This should lead to a wild chase through the shanty town. The
Troubleshooters will be chased through the Fun Production Zone (they have
a trampoline!) and the Manufacturing Complex (so many screwdrivers!)
before emerging into the open air near the main entrance to the camp. The
mob is close behind, but in the distance can be seen flames. Flames in the
air. Could it be that backup is inbound?

Yes, it could indeed.

TINCAN capsules begin to land, disgorging Armed Forces troopers. These

unfortunates mostly begin to freak out immediately, firing their weapons at
random or trying to crawl back into the capsule. Some are equipped with
breathing masks, from which leaks an oddly horsey odour. These troopers
are more on the ball, and begin trading fire with the lynch mob.

Pretty soon a battle is raging in Sector 49, with huts on fire and panicked
Armed Forces troopers running around, freaking out as someone in a grass
skirt tries to club them with a length of splintery organic material. The sign of
a trooper frantically clubbing an earthworm with a grenade may remind the
Troubleshooters that they are out of their element. And in the midst of it all,
Old ’49 blares out strangely familiar rallying phrases and exhorts his followers
to march upon the motherlode. Upon Alpha Complex.

There is only one way to stop this messianic prospectorbot from turning his
giant scooperbot on Alpha Complex (when it gets there, in a few months’
time) and that is to climb the great machine and defeat him head-on. Or
some other method. Actually there may be loads of ways to stop Old ’49 if
the Troubleshooters think of them.

26 CARL HAS BEEN EXECUT

ED FOR TREASON.
 27

TRAI
TORO
US M
ANIA
CS A
RE N
OT Y
OUR
FRIE
NDS

P A R A N O I A PARANOIA P A R A N O I A PARANOIA
The Rule of Adventure Fun assumes that the Troubleshooters will run the
gauntlet of battling Armed Forces personnel and elite but deranged
investigators, dodging the Green Clearance Machine as it whirlysaws its way
through the huts, sheds and inhabitants of Sector 49. The Troubleshooters will
surely want to clamber onto the Tower of Authority and fight their way up
through fanatical resistance and unsafe walkway railings. Finally, they will
be able to confront Old ’49 on his command balcony, ending the threat to
Alpha Complex by the final destruction of the old robot. Shoving him into
the ore processing centre would work, or some vigorous work
with a Loppenchop.

The details of this confrontation are very much up to you, Friend GM. You’ve
dicked the players around all the way here, so let them tell a good story.

And afterward, as night falls on the wreckage of Sector 49 and horse-fart-

masked officers start rounding up freaked-out troopers, the Troubleshooters
receive a message from the Computer.

MISSION STATUS UPDATE REQUIRED. EXTRACTION EN

ROUTE. RETURN FOR DEBRIFING. RECOVER REMAINS
OF PROSPECTORBOT 7449 FOR INSPECTION AND
INVESTIGATION.

Did they shove Old ’49 in the ore processing unit? Oh dear.

28 DO NOT BE LIKE CARL.

 29

BEFORE AND AFTER: A FEW NOTES

In case the incredibly subtle subtext of this mission bypassed you somehow,
here’s what happened:

There was an orgy of resource-grabbing, in the middle of which Old ’49

became damaged (again) and contact was lost with the Robots of Unusual
Size. The investigation team was not ready for the horrors of the Outdoors,
and went barking mad. They fixed up Old ’49 as part of their attempt to
create an Alpha Complex surrogate, and quickly came to accept Old ’49
as the Voice of The Computer.

Retreating into their comfortable madness, the investigation team

made a life for themselves, but the arrival of the Green Clearance
Machine reminded Old ’49 of the existence of Alpha Complex. He then
re-implemented his mission – to secure resources for Alpha Complex –
but substituted his own Aplha Complex. Seeing Alpha Complex as the
motherlode of salvage, he began planning his grand crusade to secure its
resources for his people. In his own way, Old ’49 was trying to look after his
people. He was a rather downmarket god, but a benevolent one.

Then some Troubleshooters chucked him in an ore processing unit.

The End.

Well, not quite.

Alpha Complex recycles everything, including recovered circuits from a

mangled prospectorbot with a God complex. Who knows if Old ’49 might
not arise once more? Meanwhile the Troubleshooters must return for a
debriefing, which may or may not be conducted by the BIG Guy.

Oh, and the horse-fart gas? That’s withdrawn from service. Not because
it has side effects (it does, but that’s not the issue), but for Operational
Reasons. Nobody is quite sure what that means, but there may be those
who wonder if the Computer feels threatened by anything that allows
clones to function outside without going barking mad sooner or later. Of
course, only a traitor would voice such sentiments….

P A R A N O I A PARANOIA P A R A N O I A PARANOIA
 HOW TO USE

1. Print.
2. Cut along dotted lines.
3. Fold cut pieces in half.
4. Apply glue to unprinted side.
5. Press together firmly.

ALTERNATIVE HOW TO USE

1. Print.
2. Cut out the front halves only.
3. Apply glue to unprinted side.
4. Stick on to the blank equipment cards from
the Blank Card Deck.

Paranoia TM & © 1983, 1987, 2017. Eric Goldberg & Greg Costikyan. All rights reserved. Mongoose Publishing Ltd.,
Authorised User. The reproduction of material from this book for personal or corporate profit, by photographic,
electronic, or other means of storage and retrieval, is prohibited. You may copy character sheets, record sheets,
checklists and tables for personal use. Published by Mongoose Publishing, Ltd. Published 2017.
 LOPPENCHOP EQUIPMENT
WARNING! WARN
ING! WARNING!
T
ACTION ORDER MEDIUM
L T R A VIOLE
U
EVEL:
MECHANICS +2 LEVEL 2
C E L
Branches, firewood, light furnishings or inquisitive CL EARAN
fingers; if it sticks out it can be lopped, if it stands
FUN IS MAND
ATORY!
still it can be chopped.

LOPPENCHOP EQUIPMENT
WARNING! WARN
ING! WARNING!
LET
ACTION ORDER MEDIUM
U L T RAVIO
LEVEL 2 :
LEVEL
MECHANICS +2
N C E
Branches, firewood, light furnishings or inquisitive CLEARA
fingers; if it sticks out it can be lopped, if it stands
FUN IS MAND
ATORY!
still it can be chopped.

LOPPENCHOP EQUIPMENT
WARNING! WARN
ING! WARNING!
LET
ACTION ORDER MEDIUM
U L T RAVIO
LEVEL 2 :
LEVEL
MECHANICS +2
A N C E
Branches, firewood, light furnishings or inquisitive CLEAR
fingers; if it sticks out it can be lopped, if it stands
FUN IS MAND
ATORY!
still it can be chopped.
 LOPPENCHOP EQUIPMENT
WARNING! WARN
ING! WARNING!
T
ACTION ORDER MEDIUM
L T R A VIOLE
U
EVEL:
MECHANICS +2 LEVEL 2
C E L
Branches, firewood, light furnishings or inquisitive CL EARAN
fingers; if it sticks out it can be lopped, if it stands
FUN IS MAND
ATORY!
still it can be chopped.

LOPPENCHOP EQUIPMENT
WARNING! WARN
ING! WARNING!
LET
ACTION ORDER MEDIUM
U L T RAVIO
LEVEL 2 :
LEVEL
MECHANICS +2
N C E
Branches, firewood, light furnishings or inquisitive CLEARA
fingers; if it sticks out it can be lopped, if it stands
FUN IS MAND
ATORY!
still it can be chopped.

LOPPENCHOPENMOP EQUIPMENT
WARNING! WARN
ING! WARNING!
LET
ACTION ORDER MEDIUM
U L T RAVIO
LEVEL 2 :
LEVEL
MECHANICS +2
A N C E
Branches, firewood, light furnishings or inquisitive CLEAR
fingers; if it sticks out it can be lopped, if it stands
FUN IS MAND
ATORY!
still it can be chopped. All this and mopping too!