The Voice Behind Her Story

As she stood there, she felt her heart sink and tears prick behind her eyes. Her gaze fell upon the number
that seemed to make her dream unattainable. Her hand slid over her body, feeling her bones protrude,
yet she still longed for a lower and lower number. She pulled out her laptop and took a deep breath,
surveying her hospital room, and there it began.

Aria got up from her bed and walked to the bathroom. She was getting ready to see her cousin Deya
again after a long time, as they hadn't been in contact for a while. Aria and Deya used to be inseparable
until one day, the contact broke off when Deya suddenly fell ill. Aria brushed her teeth and quickly got
dressed until she heard her mother shouting downstairs. Her mother was getting irritated because Aria
was taking too long to get ready to leave. Aria quickly put on her shoes and hurried downstairs. Her
mother, named Georgia, was relieved when she saw her daughter arrive. She thought it would take ages
before Aria was ready. They both got into the car and drove off.

After a long time, they finally arrived. Aria knocked on Deya's door with a big smile, but she never
expected to find her so weak and lifeless. Aria stepped back, but her mother quickly pushed her forward.
She walked past Aria and hugged her cousin. Aria looked at Deya with wide eyes. Was that her cousin?
Her cousin whom she always considered her best friend? Her cousin with whom she always had fun? Her
cousin whom she had known her whole life? Before she could think further, her mother pulled on her
arm and whispered in her ear, "Please behave. Adeya has been ill for a long time, of course, she doesn't
look as good as before." Aria felt a little guilty and hugged Adeya tight, telling her how much she missed
her. Adeya was quiet and seemed uncertain, but still forced a smile. Afterward, everyone went inside.

Aria looked around the house until she saw her aunt Catherine. Catherine came up to her and kissed her
on the forehead. "You've grown into such a big girl!" said her aunt with a big smile. Aria became a little
shy and didn't know what to say. "Go upstairs with Deya. I'll call you when dinner is ready," Catherine
said. Aria and Deya quietly walked upstairs and went to Deya's room. Aria noticed that Deya's behavior
had changed significantly. She didn't recognize her cousin anymore. Deya acted differently, wasn't as
enthusiastic anymore, and her physical appearance had also changed significantly. Deya looked up at
Aria and hadn't expected her to visit, especially not with her mother Georgia. She felt weak and
unattractive and wished that no one would see her. Aria looked at her again and asked if everything was
okay with her. Deya burst into tears immediately. She didn't feel well and it showed. Deya lay on the floor
and felt miserable. Aria wanted to comfort her but then saw that Deya was constantly looking at the
scale on the floor. Why was she doing that? Aria repeatedly asked her what was wrong. Deya
immediately said that Aria had to leave her room. Aria respected her wish and went back downstairs,
where her mother and aunt were talking.

Aria tiptoed downstairs when suddenly she heard her mother and her aunt Catherine talking about
Deya. She heard Catherine crying. She walked quietly downstairs and listened to their conversation. "I
don't know what to do anymore. She just won't listen and doesn't want to realize how serious it is," said
Catherine as tears rolled down her cheek. Aria was confused. What did her aunt mean by this? But a few
minutes later, she immediately understood what it was about when her mother replied, "You have to
understand that an eating disorder is not so easy to treat. What Deya needs most now is support and
love from us." Aria felt her heart beating faster. She immediately regretted eavesdropping on the
conversation. She didn't understand. How could Deya have an eating disorder? She had always seen her
as a slim, beautiful girl with a smile on her face. Afterward, she began to understand why she looked so
weak and why she looked at the scale so intensely.
"Dinner is ready!" Catherine called. Aria quickly came downstairs and pretended she had just come from
Deya's room. The aunt immediately noticed that Aria was the only one coming down the stairs and asked
directly where Deya was. Aria lied and said that she was still arranging some things in her room.
Catherine didn't believe her and asked what she was doing there. Aria felt blood rushing through her
body and didn't immediately know what to say until fortunately, Deya came down the stairs. Aria looked
around and was relieved, but her relief immediately turned into shock when she saw Deya with red eyes.
How long had Deya been crying there? Aria looked at her with pity and then sat down next to her
mother at the dining table. A few minutes later, Deya's father came home. He hugged his wife and
daughter. Then he shook hands with Georgia and Aria. They all sat down at the table and started
enjoying their meal prepared by Catherine, except Deya. Deya looked at her plate with a frown and
played with her food, and Aria saw that she had a great fear of what was on Deya's plate.

A few hours later, Aria and Georgia drove back home. While Georgia was driving, Aria told her that she
had overheard their conversation. Georgia looked disappointed at her and asked why she had done that.
Aria ignored her question and asked why she hadn't told her earlier that Deya had an eating disorder.
Georgia looked away from Aria and said that she didn't need to know everything and that she was after
all too young to understand such things. Aria rolled her eyes. She might only be 15, but inside she felt
much older. Aria didn't rush and told her that when she was in Deya's room, she burst into tears and
intensely looked at the scale. Georgia sighed and said that Catherine always told her that Deya almost
always had a mental breakdown because of her eating disorder. Aria looked at her mother strangely. Did
Deya have a breakdown when she was with Aria in her room? Aria shrugged and listened further to the
radio, which played all the time while they were on their way home.

After a long drive, they finally arrived home. Aria took off her coat and immediately hung it on the coat
rack. She walked to her room, closed the door, and grabbed her laptop. She still didn't know exactly what
an eating disorder entailed, so she looked it up. Her eyes widened as she read all the information. She
didn't want to believe that her best friend Deya was suffering from this, but her shock grew even larger
when she clicked on "images". This is how Deya looked now. Very thin, weak... almost lifeless. Deya no
longer resembled the lively person she once was, and neither did the people she saw on her laptop. She
quickly closed her laptop when she heard her father's footsteps getting closer. Her father opened the
door and said it was late and that she had to go to bed. Aria hid her laptop and put on her pajamas
before obediently lying in bed.

The next morning, Aria woke up tired. She threw her blanket away and got up. As she walked to the
bathroom, the pictures she had seen on her laptop flashed through her mind. She couldn't believe that
her cousin had had an eating disorder all this time. Aria grabbed her toothbrush and started brushing
her teeth. After brushing, she walked back to her room but then heard her mother calling someone. She
tiptoed downstairs and sat on the middle step with her head bowed so she could see her mother well.
She heard Catherine talking with a trembling voice and her mother looked worried. But what Aria heard
next shocked her. Catherine told Georgia that she had found Deya on the bathroom floor. She
immediately realized that Deya had overdosed when she saw the pills lying next to her on the floor.
Catherine immediately called the ambulance and they took Deya and her to the hospital as soon as
possible. Thousands of questions raced through her mind. Was everything okay with Deya? Why was she
doing this to herself? Did this just happen? And many more questions. Crying, she walked downstairs
and hugged Georgia. Although Georgia was still on the phone with Catherine, she still let go of her
phone. She quickly asked Catherine in which hospital Deya was. Aria and Georgia drove there as soon as
possible.
There they stood. The wind blew through their hair. They were both worried about Deya. They walked
into the building which would show Deya's condition. They walked through the door and saw Catherine
stepping out of a room. She walked over to them and hugged them tightly. She told them that Deya was
in good condition, but she had to stay in the hospital for a while because the pills she took were very
harmful, but also for her eating disorder. Aria and Georgia were relieved. Catherine took them both to
Deya's room. Deya was lying on her bed in tears. Aria stood behind her mother and didn't want to see
Deya. She was afraid to see her cousin whom she had known all her life in a bad condition, but her fear
immediately turned into confusion when she heard Deya ask if they could be alone. Catherine and
Georgia hugged her again and then both walked out of her room.

It was quiet. Aria didn't dare to talk to Deya. Deya noticed Aria's hesitation and assured her that she was
still the same old Deya, despite her eating disorder. She got up and sat on the bed, then asked Aria to
come sit next to her. Aria did and looked deep into Deya's eyes. She saw that the spark in her eyes had
dimmed. Deya shed a tear and said that she had developed an eating disorder because she aspired to
have the slim body of the women she saw on social media. She checked her weight on the scale daily,
counted calories, and exercised obsessively. She thought it was harmless until her mother found out
crying what Deya was doing. Her mother forced her to go to a psychologist for a diagnosis. Aria was
stunned. 'I thought a psychologist could help me, but the whispering in my head is too strong. I don't
know what to do anymore. I want to find myself again, but something is holding me back,' said Deya with
tears in her eyes. Aria felt guilty for not supporting her cousin, her best friend. But it was difficult
because she only found out about the situation later. 'I'm now getting medication and have to talk to a
therapist every day. I hope it will help me,' said Deya with a soft, trembling voice. Aria hugged Deya
tightly. Deya felt a little better, but Aria was shocked when she felt Deya's bones. Why was she doing this
to herself? She was as thin as a twig and had always had a beautiful appearance. But then she realized
that even the most beautiful people can have insecurities.

It was late. Aria and Deya had talked and laughed with each other after a long time. Aria saw how Deya's
spark slowly began to burn again. She had thousands of questions for Deya about her eating disorder,
but the conversation was already going so well and she didn't want to ruin it by asking those questions.
Catherine and Georgia came in. Catherine smiled when she saw her daughter Deya laughing with Aria.
She walked over to her daughter and stroked her fingers through Deya's hair. Deya looked up and hugged
her mother. Georgia and Aria watched them both and were also happy to see the relationship between
Deya and Catherine improving. They said goodbye before leaving the room and walking into the hospital.
Then they got into their car and drove away.

With a deep sigh, Maria closed her laptop. She stared at her reflection in the mirror and felt a wave of
disappointment wash over her. The story she had written, in which she hid herself behind the character
Aria while being Deya, hadn't brought her what she had hoped for. She had hoped that by writing a story
based on someone else's perspective on her eating disorder, she would come to realize how serious her
situation was. She got up from her bed and walked slowly to the scale. A mix of fear and sadness filled
her as she hesitated to look at the number. She felt lost, far removed from the confident girl she once
was. Where had that feeling gone? Where was her healthy relationship with food? She felt a knot in her
stomach and sat down on the floor.

With a sigh, she stood up again and looked intensely at her reflection in the mirror. It was time, to be
honest, to face herself. She tied her hair tightly behind her head and rubbed her body. Her ribs
protruded, and her skin was thin and fragile. She felt the wind glide along her body, a reminder of how
much weight she had lost. She no longer wanted to be trapped in this body, wanted to be imprisoned by
her eating disorder. She turned away from the mirror and looked at the portrait where her parents and
she hugged each other. She looked at her old self and realized how happy she looked compared to now.
Maybe writing the story hadn't been the solution she had hoped for, but it had taken an important first
step on her journey to self-acceptance and healing. And that, Maria, decided. It was a new beginning for
her.

-written by Mariam Ibzain

https://writtenstoriesbymariamibzain.weebly.com/stories.html