PARENTAL ROLES IN CHRISTIAN HOME

BY
ADEDAYO, AYODEJI PETER
MATRIC NO: 08507

SUBMITTED TO REV’D. DR. J.T POPOOLA, IN PARTIAL FULFILLMENT OF THE

COURSE REQUIREMENTS CHRISTIAN HOME (GNS 412)

ECWA THEOLOGICAL SEMINARY, IGBAJA

OCTOBER 2022
 TABLE OF CONTENTS

o INTRODUCTION: THE CONCEPT OF PARENTING

o PARENTING STYLES

o THE CONCEPT OF PARENTING

o PARENTAL ROLES IN THE FAMILY

o CONCLUSION

o BIBLIOGRAPHY
 INTRODUCTION

THE CONCEPT OF PARENTING

Parenting can basically be understood as the gradual process of providing physical,

social, emotional, and intellectual support to a child. It accompanies the intellectual development

that a child achieves because of the mutual relationship attained by the child from the person

responsible for taking care of the child. Parenting in most cases have been taken up by the

biological owners of the children, although there has been a recent increase in caretakers 1.

In reference to the definition of parenting (providing physical, emotional, intellectual and

social support), fathers have tendencies of instilling curiosity qualities when raising children.

Research has demonstrated that children brought up by males have over the years, proven to be

more actively attracted to the external context. They have tendencies of engaging and adopting to

the external environment. These are mainly personality trait of men. This therefore implies that

as child is brought up by a male, they assimilate the emotion, social and psychological ways of

the man.2

This is an indication that, if the father of the offspring is a business oriented person, the

offspring will subsequently adopt the same lifestyle and behavior as that of the father.

However, it is important to note that, it’s not a guarantee, a child who is raised from the paternal

side will adopt the father’s lifestyle though in most cases they do. Reports from various research

findings indicate that other factors may affect the child’s behavior, some of which may include

the parenting styles, the social-economic conditions of the family, and the child’s personality

traits among others

1
N, Cabrera, et al. “Fatherhood in the twenty‐first century Child development”, 71(1) (200):136
2
C. DiIorio, E. Pluhar, & L. Belcher, “Parent-child communication about sexuality: A review of the
literature from 1980–2002” in Journal of HIV/AIDS Prevention & Education for Adolescents & Children, 5(3-4)
(2003):30
 The raising of a child by its parents is very important; anybody can train children because

parenting is more than one staying with his biological parents. In fact as the present researcher

observed, most of the time it is good for one to be trained by his/her biological parents but it is

also best sometimes to be trained by caregivers or guardians. Irrespective of who trains a child,

bringing up a child properly is very essential, this is because children need to be trained properly

in order to be a good person when he/she grown up. Abraham Lincoln has righty said, “There is

only one way to bring up a child in the way he should go and that is to travel that way yourself”.

Theodore Roosevelt also said, “The tasks connected with the home are the fundamental tasks of

humanity”.3

Generally, people occasionally use ‘parenting’ just to describe what parents actually do,

but more often, especially now, ‘parenting’ means something that parents should do. However, a

strange thing happened to mothers and fathers and children at the end of the 20th century which

was called “parenting.4” therefore, it is correct to say that, as long as there have been human

beings on earth, the place of mothers and fathers and many others things related to caring of

Children and taken care of them cannot be disputed and to our surprise it has taken a new shape,

this is because parenting before now is easier than the contemporary times. According to

Merriam-Webster dictionary, the word “parenting” did not appear in the U.S. until 1958 and

became common only in the 1970s.

In addition, one can say, parenting has to do with something that parents should do. Off

course, to parent is a goal-directed verb; it describes a job, a kind of work. The goal is very clear,

it means to somehow turn your child into a better or happier or more successful adult better than

they would be otherwise, or better than the children next door. The right kind of parenting will
3
Mark Water, The New Encyclopedia of Christian Quotations (Alresford, Hampshire: John Hunt
Publishers Ltd, 2000), 43.
4
Alison Gopnik, A Manifesto Against ‘Parenting’ (2016). Retrieved via internet accessed on 4 June 2022.
produce the right kind of child, who in turn will become the right kind of adult. Parenting is a

process of raising, promoting, and supporting the physical, emotional, social, and cognitive

development of a child to adulthood and across the lifespan. 5 Child rearing is oftentimes defined

interchangeably with parenting. However, many non-parental figures (e.g., society, day care

providers, teachers, governments) offer similar types of care without being a child’s legal

“parent.”6 Care-giving is the act of assuming the main responsibilities for someone who cannot

provide all basic needs for oneself. Examples might include a parent, day care provider, trained

professional or family member.

There is an assumption as it regards parenting and the assumption as lasted for many

years which many still hold on till now. The assumption that parents directly or indirectly has

powerful influence on their children through the process of socialization and development has

saturated research, there is a cultural belief systems that, “If children turn out well, it is to the

parents’ credit; if they turn out badly, it is the parents’ fault”. As much as the researcher agrees

with this saying, however, on the other hand there are many children who received undiluted

training from homes and as well deviated as long as they are no more with their parents. As

regards this assumption, many parents have been challenged by various researchers who

highlight the role of biological influences on children’s development. For example, behavioral

genetic studies show that adopted children are more likely to be like their biological parents than

those that were adopted, thus, parents in basic characteristics such as personality, intelligence,

and mental health. Additionally, some scholars have criticized the emphasis on parenting by

asserting that other factors, such as peer relationships, exert a strong influence on development. 7
5
J. B. Brooks, The Process of Parenting (McGraw-Hill Higher Education, 2012), 10.
6

H. Abrahan, A Family is What you Make It? Legal Recognition and Regulation of Multiple Parents
American University Journal of Gender, Social Policy & the Law Vol. 4 (2017): 25.
7
Robert Bernstein, “Majority of Children Live With Two Biological Parents” Retrieved from the original
on 20 April, 2008. Accessed on 4 June, 2022.
 Hence, parents play a significant role in shaping children’s environments and thus

children’s exposure to other factors that influence development, such as peer relationships. 8 For

example, parents are much more likely than children to make decisions about the neighbourhood

in which the family resides, the schools that children attend, and many of the activities in which

children engage; in these ways parents expose children to certain peers and not others.

Additionally, children are more likely to select friends who have similar interests and values,

which are rooted primarily in early family experiences. Parents, who, in American psychologist

Marc Bornstein’s words, are the “final common pathway to children’s development and stature,

adjustment and success”, mediate even broad contextual factors, such as poverty and culture 9

PARENTING STYLES

Parenting styles play an integral role in the development of a child. In fact, research has

revealed that parenting styles can influence a child’s social, cognitive, and psychological growth,

which affects children both in the childhood years, and as an adult. This is because children

develop through a number of stimuli, interaction, and exchange, which surround them. The fact

that parents are regularly around a child’s life they will influence him/her either negatively or

positively.

The commonly known parenting styles are four. They include authoritative, authoritarian,

indulgent, and neglectful parenting.

Authoritative parenting is parenting style that is both responsive and demanding.

Parents who use this parenting style teach their children to be independent while at the same time

controlling their actions. Authoritative parents understand their child’s emotions, and they teach
8
Ashish Johri, “6 Steps for Parents So Your Child is Successful” retrieved from humanenrich.com.
accessed on 4 June, 2022.

9
Marc H. Bornstein, Refocusing on Parenting (Psychology Press, 1996), 10
them how to control their feelings. In addition, these parents always demand maturity.

Punishments are prevalent in this style, but they are not violent or arbitrary. This parenting style

has the advantage that children respond accordingly due to the various set limits.

Authoritarian parenting is the next parenting style. It is also known as strict parenting,

and it is both unresponsive and demanding. The central characteristic of this style is that parents

expect their children to comply, and conform to every rule. This parenting style has little open

communication between the parent and the child. Authoritarian parents normally require their

children to follow the set rules without even a single explanation why the rules and limits are set.

According to research, parents who adopt this parenting style are unresponsive to the child’s

emotional needs. As a result, these children tend to display low social competence because their

parents prevent them from making their own choices.

Indulgent parenting is a parenting style that is undemanding and responsive. Parents

who adopt this style are normally permissive and lenient, only because they have few

expectations from the child. Indulgent parents are usually involved with their children, but they

set very few rules and limits. Children brought up through this style are often seen as rude and

spoiled. This is because their parents do not teach them how to control their emotions.

Neglectful parenting: Unlike the other three, neglectful parenting is neither demanding

nor responsive. Instead, parents a completely uninvolved with the child’s growth. Neglectful

parents are usually unresponsive and dismissive to their children’s emotional needs. Children

brought up through this parenting style are often mature and independent; although they tend to

display emotional withdraw towards other people. In addition, these children do not express their

feelings easily.

PARENTAL ROLES IN THE FAMILY

The mother as an educator

Mother is the first and the best teacher. The family enables children protection in that

suggestively that makes parents responsible for their developing and to make their children grow

into a total personality. The role of the woman or the mother as an educator represents a crucial

resource to the development of the individual identity, which from researchers is seen even as

more important as the very marital status of the parents and the occupation of the parents

themselves. It seems that the feeling of being a mother, to the woman is more powerful than

being a father of given child for the husband. Always in accordance to the biological as well as

physiological relation of mother to the child, represents the first and reasonable part or segment

of the child’s development. This for the reason that mother assures child’s life, as she is the one

who brings the child in this world, and further on she raises them from being little towards

reaching a total independency in mature life.10

The mother’s function in this regard, has a very important role which as such may be

divided into two parts or directions: The first one is related to the child’s defense, while the other

one to the child’s overall development.

Mother’s protection as a function embeds several types of actions or types of functions.

The first type is connected to the physical protection of the child, which means that the child

must be provided healthcare and hygienic conditions, so that he/she could have a healthy life in a

worm home environment in every sense of the word, including here the ambiance where the

child lives, which must be well enlighten, a healthy place which offers the child to be showered,

feed up and taken care in general.

10
Ardita Ceka & Rabije Murati, “The Role of Parents in the Education of Children” Journal of Education
and Practice Vol.7, No.5, (2016): 62
 The second type is the Psychological protection, which can be reflected through the

child’s emotional security and psychological protection, especially in moments when the child

feels it when the mother is next to him i.e. her. Another group of activities in this regard, are the

maternal functions regarding the child’s development involving here the physical development,

the intellectual development as well as the emotional development of the child. Each child,

which grows up and is educated in the presence of mother, for sure is expected to reach an

appropriate physical, psychological as well as social development. In this regard, these children

have a much better appearance, the look happy and they enjoy the childhood in general. They are

communicative and as such they are ready to cooperate.

For this reason, mother’s love and care to the child, is full and well completed, and as

such is often accepted by other members of the very family. This type of cultivated love and

affection can be qualified as a key condition for an appropriate development of the children in a

given family. The children experience the physical as well as psychological effects of the

mother, and as such they are taken as model which influences their further development during

their emotional stage of development of their moral values as whole. This element of the so

called child’s identification, the child embeds it in his/her personality for years on and on,

throughout his/her total lifespan. It is planted in their character as well as temperament, and as

such it is reflected through his/ her attitudes and thoughts in interaction or behavior comportment

with the society in general. Almost all culture have developed arrangements which enable

mothers to provide for basic child care while maintaining other duties that are instrumental to

family wellbeing.11

The Father as an educator

11
Garbarino James, Children Families in the social environment, (New York 1982), 140
 The father in a family is a very important factor, concerning the organization of a nice

and appropriately functional development of a household, with a specific accent on the children.

Helping fathers be the ‘best fathers they can be’ is therefore of enormous importance to children.

A god father must be a good parent and a good husband. This person is extremely important

factor in the organization of the family life as a whole, which are the basic ground towards a

happily and joyful family for all the members of a respective family. Many young fathers want to

do things better than how they have experienced in their lives.

His presence in the family has a particular importance while it leads the family members,

i.e. the children towards a feeling of safety in their life reigning on the overall family members as

a compact union of members. In these circumstances of safety, the children are the ones who

benefit mostly. However, the so-called subjective experiencing of the parents by their children

varies in different ways and family models, and as such his relevance in a family is much more

different from the one that is performed by mothers. As a result of the gender prejudices in terms

of the duties to be performed in their family, especially regarding their approach and contribution

towards their children’s education, it turns out that mothers are more prepared to undertake their

role in their children’s education, rather than their fathers. Fathers make a powerful difference in

defining expectation and challenging children to do their best. 12 As such, the children learn their

responsibilities and role in the family, when they themselves grow up and become parents, which

is they are mature to play the father’s role in this regard. Given this theory, there has been done

much research, which proves that the relationship between father and child becomes stronger.

This relationship does not result to be dependent from neither of the other two relations i.e. the

one between father and child neither the one mother-child.13

12
Tammy Constantine, Parents In The School: The Impact Of Father's Participation In Children's Education
In Newfoundland http://www.mun.ca/educ/faculty/mwatch/vol2/constantine.html (1999), 1-4
13
C. Cowan, When partners become parents (New York, 1992), 98
 CONCLUSION

Parents play a very prominent role in the lives of the children. The father as the bread

earner of the family provides for the needs of the family, the mother is the homebuilder. Parents

determine largely, the future of the children. Therefore, prospective Christian parents should play

their role in order to have positive indelible impact on their children.

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Abrahan, H. A Family is What you Make It? Legal Recognition and Regulation of Multiple
Parents American University Journal of Gender, Social Policy & the Law Vol. 4 (2017):
25.

Bernstein, Robert “Majority of Children Live With Two Biological Parents” Retrieved from the
original on 20 April, 2008. Accessed on 29 October 2022.

Bornstein, Marc H. Refocusing on Parenting Psychology Press, 1996

Brooks, J. B. The Process of Parenting McGraw-Hill Higher Education, 2012

Cabrera, N, et al. “Fatherhood in the twenty‐first century Child development”, 71(1) (200):136
Ceka, Ardita & Rabije Murati, “The Role of Parents in the Education of Children” Journal of
Education and Practice Vol.7, No.5, (2016): 62

Constantine, Tammy. “Parents In The School: The Impact Of Father's Participation In Children's
Education In Newfoundland”
http://www.mun.ca/educ/faculty/mwatch/vol2/constantine.html Accessed 29 October,
2022 (1999), 1-4

Cowan, C. When partners become parents New York, 1992

DiIorio, C. E. Pluhar, & L. Belcher, “Parent-child communication about sexuality: A review of

the literature from 1980–2002” in Journal of HIV/AIDS Prevention & Education for
Adolescents & Children, 5(3-4) (2003):30

Gopnik, Alison A Manifesto Against Parenting (2016). Retrieved via internet accessed on 4 June
2022

James, Garbarino Children Families in the social environment New York 1982

Johri, Ashish “6 Steps for Parents So Your Child is Successful” retrieved from
humanenrich.com. Accessed on 29 October 2022.

Water, Mark The New Encyclopedia of Christian Quotations Alresford, Hampshire: John Hunt
Publishers Ltd, 2000