CHILD F008

Family Interview Project by Du Li

Dec 13th, 2023

1. How did you prepare yourself for parenthood? (Classes, workshops, books,
parental advice from friends/family). Do you think you could have been
better prepared for parenthood? If so, how?

For our first child, I purchased a couple of books geared towards newborn
care. Yes, I could have been better prepared if I could talk to other parents or
seek advice from my parents and maybe attend some classes about being
new parents.

2. What family traditions, values or beliefs are you passing on to your child
(ren)? Why are these important to you? Were these values/traditions
‘important to your parents?

We have been passing on a mixture of Chinese traditions and occasional

Jewish holidays. We try to pass on values of being considerate of others and
to work and study hard. The traditions are important in that they help teach
the children where they came from. These traditions and values were
important to our parents, but the importance varies depending on the
tradition.

3. What happens when your child disobeys you or breaks the family rules?
Please discuss your method of guidance and discipline, and your overall style
of parenting.

Our children, for the most part, do what they are asked, although as our son
gets older he fights for more independence. When they actively disobey, we
occasionally lose our patience and raise our voices with the children. The
main style of guidance is to let them know what they are expected to do, give
them reminders, and periodically check on them. To the extent that I can
reason with them, I attempt to explain from my personal experiences why I
value something or recommend doing something.

4. What goals or expectations do you have for your children? Do your children
know these goals and expectations?

Our goals and expectations are not concrete. The goal is for them to be happy
and successful in their own way. I have told them this many times. However, I
explain that to achieve these goals, particularly when they don’t have their
own personal goals, they should engage and do their best at the things they
are asked to do.
CHILD F008

Family Interview Project by Du Li

Dec 13th, 2023

5. What influences have contributed to your parenting practices- social trends,

social media, family culture, ECE theory, friends, etc.?

A lot of it is playing by ear. However, I have read some books on parenting

styles and how to help motivate and/or help them to reach their potential.
Advice tends to change depending on their age, and how to interact with
them depends on their emotional state. I have read that everyone yearns for
autonomy, and I attempt to give them some degree of freedom in choosing
what they do and when they do it, depending on whether it is something they
can afford to fail at. The reasoning being that they should be able to
experience the negative consequences of some of their bad decisions to grow
from them. However, it is a fine line in how much I feel like letting them fail at.

6. Discuss your view on education. Are you involved with your child’s school? Is
going to college a goal/expectation for your child? Why or why not?

We believe education is extremely important and have expectations that our

children will go to college. The future that college buys for an individual may
not be what it once was, but having no college education is likely even more
detrimental to their ability to live comfortably. We do our best to let them
know how important it is to be educated, and we both monitor them closely
to be sure they are on track. Our son is in his last year of middle school, so I
have been trying to help push him to do his best and get used to studying
more than he’s used to, and potentially more than he needs to, to make sure
that his transition to high school is not a difficult adjustment. There are lots of
distractions in the modern era, and we have not figured out the best way to
help them navigate these distractions, but so far I do not think their
education has suffered.

7. Explain how your life has changed since becoming a parent.

My priorities have changed since becoming a parent, with our children

becoming the most important thing in both of our lives. I think this results in
many disagreements between my wife and I, as we do not always see eye to
eye, but because our children are so important to each of us, we don’t always
find great compromises. Having children always puts pressure on our time,
resulting in us having to be extremely efficient in the things we do so that we
can drive the children from place to place, help them with homework or violin
practice, etc.
CHILD F008

Family Interview Project by Du Li

Dec 13th, 2023

8. Is parenthood what you expected? Why or why not?

Parenthood is not what I expected, although I don’t know that I expected

much. I think I naively expected my children to be small versions of myself
with similar likes and interests, and it became clear early on that they are
their own people.

9. What is a “typical day” for you as a parent? Identify some of the sweetest
moments and some of the most challenging moments of parenting.

A typical day involves getting up and splitting duties for getting them ready
versus driving them to school. Depending on the day, I am likely picking them
up from some activity (art class, martial arts, boy scouts, girl scouts, etc.). At
night, my son is more independent, and does his homework without too much
oversight from me. However, I will periodically check on him, make sure he
knows when he has any upcoming tests, make sure he knows if there are any
assignments due, and repeat until he gets too annoyed with me. My daughter
is not assigned much homework, but she has outside classes that I
occasionally help her with. In addition I help her with her violin practice,
including motivating her to do so.

The sweetest moments of parenting are when they come home from a
camping trip or some activity where they’ve been away and are super excited
to see me. Sometimes my daughter embraces me after we’ve worked
together on some project or she’s had a good violin performance. I think the
challenging moments of parenting are trying to overcome stubbornness that
often seems illogical. As my son gets older, it’s become challenging to
navigate being there for him and letting him push me away and gain his
independence.

10. How do you view your primary role as a parent?

My role as a parent is my number one priority and affects all of my decisions.

11. What advice would you give to a new parent?

It’s difficult to give people advice because every child is different, but I’d
probably tell them not to have many expectations and to get help when you
need it.
CHILD F008

Family Interview Project by Du Li

Dec 13th, 2023

12. Finish the sentence, “Knowing what I know now about being a parent, I
would...”

Knowing what I know now about being a parent, I would seek more advice or
suggestions from my parents, or friends who have older kids than mine; I
would also lower my expectations towards my kids so I would feel less
anxious.

Include in your summary and reflection of the interview:

● Background Information & Demographics (you may use bullet points for this
information)
○ Name of parent–Jason K
○ age–47
○ Socioeconomic status–middle class
○ race/ethnicity–Jewish/Causian
○ religion–Jewish turn atheists
○ marital status–Married
○ profession–Doctor
○ # of children- 2

● Note their parenting style (refer back to Module 2) (Authoritarian, Permissive,

Authoritative, Uninvolved)
○ Based on the interview about their parenting style, I believe their parenting
style gears more towards Authoritative

● How do you know this family and why did you select them for your interview
○ Good friends of us and they have very similar background as my own
family–multi-race couple raising two kids

● Identify any possible community resources that either they may participate in
or you may be aware of that would offer them support.
○ The Mission of Cross Cultural Family Center in SF provides child
development services in cross-cultural settings with a commitment to high-
quality, community based, and developmentally appropriate early care and
education programs( https://www.crossculturalsf.org). This is a great place
for interracial families to meet, form friendships, find playdates, and have
classes about how to respect and practice each parent’s inherited culture.
CHILD F008

Family Interview Project by Du Li

Dec 13th, 2023

They celebrate various cultural festivals such as Chinese new year, diwali,
hinamatsuri and so on.

● What are some ways in which you would support and engage this family if you
were their child’s teacher?
○ Educate myself about the diverse cultures within the family. Learn about
their customs, traditions, and values.
○ Be aware of potential biases and stereotypes. Talk to the family and find out
about their cultural background and beliefs.
○ Choose books, resources, and examples that represent the various cultural
perspectives and share/read to the kids in the classroom

● How would you involve this family (if you were their teacher) in the school
community and support the many aspects of their child’s/children’s
development and learning?
○ Invite the family to attend/participate different cultural representation
events the school would host through the year
○ Involve the family either mom or dad to plan a cultural event of his or her
representation and celebrate with their kids and the whole school
○ Create a welcoming and inclusive environment where all families feel
comfortable communicating with the school if they have any concerts about
their kids’ wellbeing
○ Invite both parents to regular meetings to discuss the child's progress,
concerns, and goals.