INTRODUCTION

The Social and Emotional domain describes children’s ability to develop positive
relationships and ideas about themselves and their abilities, regulate their emotions, behavior,
and impulses, and express emotions. Appropriate social and emotional development is critical
to life-long development and learning and is associated with a wide array of positive
outcomes. Such skills allow children to feel confident in their abilities to interact with others,
approach new situations, and express their individuality.
Children begin developing social-emotional skills at birth. Research indicates that
children are born ready to connect with other people in their environment. When a child’s
emotional and physical needs are met, learning pathways to the brain are formed, which lead
to learning in all developmental domains. Emotional signals, such as smiling, crying, or
demonstrating interest and attention, strongly influence the behaviors of others. Similarly, the
emotional reactions of others affect children’s social behaviors.

LEARNING OBJECTIVES
By the end of the lesson, the students will be able to:
A. identify the components of emotional intelligence (EQ) and the signs of social
intelligence (SQ)
B. discuss transactional analysis and ego states
C. analyze the strokes and life positions
LEARNING CONTENTS

Knowing the EQ and SQ

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (EQ)

What is emotional intelligence or EQ?
 Emotional intelligence (otherwise known as emotional quotient or EQ) is the ability to
understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress,
communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse
conflict. Emotional intelligence helps you build stronger relationships, succeed at
school and work, and achieve your career and personal goals.

The American psychologist and science journalist Daniel Goleman first coined the term
emotional intelligence. He wrote for the New York Times for over 12 years, reporting on the
complexity of the human brain and behavioral sciences. Goleman’s EQ theory comprises five
core components: empathy, effective communication or social skills, self-awareness, self-
regulation, and motivation.

Components of Emotional Intelligence

Psychologist Daniel Goleman created one of the most popular models of EI. It breaks down
EI into five key components, according to a 2018 research review.

1. Self-awareness

A key part of EI is a level of understanding and self-awareness of a person’s own emotions.

An individual with high EI is not only aware of what emotions they are feeling but can put
words to their feelings. They can also understand the consequences of their emotions and
how they may change and shift over time.

2. Self-regulation

Once a person has achieved the first component, they can move on to self-regulation. An
individual with a good awareness of their own emotions can better manage the emotions and
behaviors that come along with them. This may involve noticing a difficult emotion and
slowing down or resisting any impulsive action that may follow.

3. Motivation

Motivation is the process that stimulates and directs someone toward achieving their goals. It
is a key part of EI, 2016 research suggests. Motivation allows a person to remain true to their
goals and persevere, even during challenging times.
A person with low motivation may be discouraged easily by any obstacle and give up. A
person with high motivation realizes that the reward of their personal goals is worth the time
and effort spent getting there, even when they face obstacles.

4. Empathy

Empathy refers to how tuned to the emotions of others a person is. Someone with high EI can
accurately identify which emotions another person is feeling and can tell the difference
between genuine and false emotions.
A person may do this by noticing certain facial expressions or changes in another person’s
voice or body language.

5. Social skills

A person with higher levels of EI may be better at interacting appropriately with others than a
person with low levels of EI. EI can help a person build relationships, communicate with
others, and maintain friendships.

Signs of Low Emotional Intelligence

1. Low Self-Awareness: Highly Opinionated

A person with lower emotional intelligence will always fight that they are right. They always
find themselves arguing with others. They don’t want to listen to the opinions of other
people. This happens because they are struggling with expressing emotions or relating to the
feelings of others. They are prone to focus on their mistakes and are having difficulties
learning from them and moving on.
2. Lack of Empathy: Insensitive
People with lower emotional intelligence are unable to distinguish appropriate from
inappropriate behavior. They often say the wrong things at the wrong time. They may say
inappropriate remarks or crack a joke when a friend is grieving due to the loss of a loved one.
They become defensive if you bring up this inappropriate behavior. Since they have a poor
understanding of other people’s emotions, they are most likely unable to interpret the
emotional atmosphere they are in.

3. Lack of Accountability: Blaming Others

Since they have a hard time understanding the situation of others and always want to be right,
people with low emotional intelligence often cause problems. They don’t want to be
accountable for the problems caused by their actions.
If a problem erupts, you will point your finger at someone. You would defend yourself by
telling the others around you that you are misunderstood.

4. Poor Coping Skills: Low Motivation

People with poor emotional awareness have a hard time coping with emotional situations.
They would avoid being in emotional situations at all costs. Because of this, they are more
likely to hide what they feel and carry this burden with them as long as they can.

5. Low Self-Regulation: Unpredictable Emotional Explosions

People with low emotional intelligence struggle to control, understand, and express emotions.
They would react negatively because they are upset and they cannot understand what they are
feeling. They have constant and uncontrollable emotional outbursts. They get easily triggered
by trivial matters, which can bother them and cause their outbursts for hours.

6. Poor Social Skills: Relationship Problems

People with low emotional intelligence have very few friends. Sometimes, they don’t even
have friends at all. This is because they are unable to share emotional connections with
others.

7. Self-Centeredness: Narcissistic Tendencies

People with low emotional intelligence want to be the star of every conversation. You can
easily spot them, for they are the ones doing most of the talking. They would always navigate
the conversation towards themselves. They seem to be better than everyone. Their
accomplishments are better than yours. If you are an accomplished athlete, a person with low
EQ will drop hints that they’re better because they’re a triathlete.
WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
1. Identify what you’re really feeling
2. Acknowledge and appreciate your emotions
3. Develop a deep belief in yourself
4. Embrace self-awareness
5. Attune to others’ feelings
6. Assert yourself

SOCIAL QUOTIENT/INTELLIGENCE
What is Social Quotient (SQ)?

Social Quotient also referred to as Social Intelligence Quotient is the ability of a

person to manage people and to know how to present oneself, what to say, and what not to
say in a social situation. It helps one to extend boundaries and is acquired during their
lifetime through various experiences of success and failure in social settings. It is basically
the capacity of an individual to know/understand oneself and read their surroundings and
act/react accordingly. It is also often termed “street smartness”. Social Quotient is all about
what the future beholds for us and how we enhance ourselves to survive socially. It is to
comprehend the situation and figure out the best way to achieve a favorable outcome.

• The theory of social quotient was first brought to the forefront by American psychologist
Edward Thorndike in 1920.
• He defined it as, "The ability to understand and manage men and women and boys and girls,
to act wisely in human relations."
• No one is born socially intelligent. Instead, it involves a set of skills that an individual
learns over time.

Social Brain
The spindle cells. Intuition or the “gut feeling” is a result of these cells. These are
triggered when the best of the choices is to be made i.e., we need to choose as our gut guides
us. Listening to their intuition is a must for leaders provided it is attuned to the mood of
others. A spindle cell is the fastest acting neuron in our brain that guides our social decisions.
Human brains contain more of these spindle cells than any other species. Mirror
neurons enable a person to mimic or mirror what the other being does. These neurons play a
vital role in organizations as their presence prompts the followers to mirror their leader’s
feelings and deeds.

Strategies to Develop Social Quotient

Pay close attention to what (and who) is around you. Emphasizes the importance of being
observant and aware of your surroundings. It encourages mindfulness and vigilance to
enhance situational awareness, promoting safety, and fostering a deeper connection with your
environment and the people in it.

Work on increasing your emotional intelligence. Suggests focusing on developing skills

related to recognizing, understanding, and managing emotions—both yours and others'.
Enhancing emotional intelligence involves cultivating self-awareness, empathy, and effective
interpersonal communication, contributing to improved relationships and overall success in
various aspects of life.

Respect cultural differences. Emphasizes acknowledging and appreciating the diversity in

customs, values, and behaviors among various cultures. It encourages open-mindedness,
tolerance, and the avoidance of judgment, fostering positive interactions and understanding in
a multicultural world.

Practice active listening. Involves fully concentrating, understanding, responding, and

remembering what someone is saying. It requires giving your complete attention to the
speaker, avoiding interruptions, and providing feedback. Active listening strengthens
communication, builds rapport, and fosters better understanding in both personal and
professional interactions.

Appreciate the important people in your life. Underscores the significance of recognizing
and expressing gratitude for the individuals who play significant roles in your personal and
emotional well-being. Cultivating appreciation enhances relationships and contributes to a
positive and fulfilling life.
 Transactional Analysis and Ego States

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS
Transactional Analysis is first and foremost a therapeutic tool for positive change and
growth. It can be used either in therapy for the individual concerned or on a more surface
level for problem solving in everyday life.
TA is basically the study of how people take on certain behaviors, either by accident
or from their early caretakers or authority figures and then continue to play them out in their
adult lives. It is a model for people to use to work towards ‘autonomy’, a place from where
they can choose to live the way they want to and not to be still acting as if they are controlled
by past events or messages.
Transactional Analysis then is a modern psychotherapy model, which has; it’s own
particular language and theory of personality. It states that the person transacts with a person
in certain ways, structures their time between life and death in a particular way, plays their
own particular games and lives out their own unique script.
DEVELOPMENT OF TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS
Dr. Eric Berne developed transactional analysis in the last 1950s, using “transaction”
to describe the fundamental unit of social intercourse, with “transactional analysis” being the
study of social interactions between individuals. His influences included contemporaries such
as René Spitz, Erik Erikson, Paul Federn, Edoardo Weiss, as well as Freud and Wilder
Penfield, a Canadian neurosurgeon.
Inspired by Freud’s theory of personality—primarily his belief that the human psyche
is multifaceted and that different components interact to produce a variety of emotions,
attitudes and complex behaviors—and Penfield’s groundbreaking experiments involving the
stimulation of specific brain regions with electrical currents, Berne developed an approach
that he described as both neo- and extra-Freudian.
Discerning the need to build upon the philosophical concepts Freud introduced with
observable data, Berne developed his own observable ego states of Parent, Adult, and Child,
following Freud’s proposal of the existence of the Id (emotional and irrational component),
Ego (rational component), and Superego (moral component) as different and unobservable
factions of personality.
Berne also took special note of the complexities of human communication. He
highlighted the fact that facial expressions, gestures, body language, and tone may be
regarded as more important by the receiver than any spoken words. In his book Games
People Play, he noted that people may sometimes communicate messages underpinned with
ulterior motives.
EGO STATES
TA recognized that the human personality is made up of three “ego states,”; each of
which is an entire system of thought, feeling, and behavior from which we interact with each
other. The Parent, Adult, and Child ego states and the interaction between them form the
foundation of transactional analysis theory.
An ego state for Berne is:
‘a system of feelings accompanied by related set of behavior patterns.’
For example, spontaneous feelings, compliance and rebellion are all features of the
child ego state and may be activated by the individual at any time throughout his life.
Berne recognized that three such ego states must be in everyone and that together they
make up the unique individuals Personality.
For Berne the ego states are not roles but are phenomenological realities.
Each ego state is concerned with what actually happened in the past for that person
and how they acted will determine how they act in the here and now. The decisions that they
made then will determine the decisions and behaviours they now make in the present.
The Parent Ego State
(Case Study One)
Bob was the leader of his group of friends and it was he who always set the time that
they should meet, where they should go and what they ‘should do’. He often shook his finger
at his friends reprovingly. People in his circle of friends eventually got fed up of him and
many left the group.
(Case Study Two)
Mary and Joan were good friends and they went everywhere together. When Joan’s
mother died it was Mary who looked after her and often put her arm around Joan saying such
words as ‘Don’t worry about things. I will help you with all your work; I love you a lot you
know’.
The above then, are examples of a controlling parent behavior and a nurturing parent
behavior, of the Parent Ego state.
The Parent Ego State
The parent ego state contains the attitudes and behaviours that are observed and
copied from the individual’s caretakers and figures. In other words the spoken and unspoken
rules. The “shoulds’ and the ‘oughts” of life. The individual’s early parent is formed in the
child from birth to approx five years and in Transactional Analysis terms is called the parent
in the child or the P1. The complete parent ego state or the P2 is formed between the ages of
five years to approx twenty years as a result of even more external stimuli from their
authority of caretaker figures.
When the P2 is activated in later life, the person will be acting in the ways that their
authority figures will have acted, indeed this is the model that the individual will have
incorporated into his own parent, though it must be noted that each individual will have a
different parent ego state and will act in their own unique way.
The Adult Ego State
(Case Study Two)
James decided to go and see his aunt who lived in the next town – as he had never left
his town before, he had to get his map out to work out how he would get there – this he did
successfully and he got to his aunt’s house at the time he said he would. Thus we can see that
James used his adult ego state to work out logically, given the facts, how to solve a given
problem.
The Adult Ego State emerges around six months in the child and is concerned
primarily with appraising facts, reasoning, thinking, evaluating and responding to available
data.
It is described by many Transactional Analysis writers like a computer, concerned
only with rationality and logic.
However, I think this position is somewhat misleading and I prefer Berne’s
commentary, which describes that adult as coming from an integrated stance which does not
mean that when the person activates their adult ego state, he is coming from just a rational
position, but that he also has access to feelings, thinking and attitudes. Indeed, the person will
be part of the ‘here and now’ and experiencing and coming from an integrated adult stance.
The Child Ego State
(Case Study One)
When john’s mother died when he was three years old, he was too young to really
understand what had happened, he just felt hurt that his mother had gone away. When he was
fifteen years of age, John had a hard time trusting women – he often complained that women
left him and let him down a lot when he most needed them. Other people felt that women
were really good to him and helped him a lot.
(Case Study Two)
 Fiona when a small girl could get her father to do anything she really wanted. Indeed
as she grew up she was very good at managing to get men to do what she wanted. Later, she
was fired from several jobs by her bosses who said they felt she was manipulating them.
(Case Study Three)
As a child, Freda’s parents argued a lot and her major method of defense was to
withdraw and spend a lot of time alone going for long walks. At eighteen she got sacked from
many jobs for daydreaming and fantasizing. In her personal life, she would withdraw
mentally if her friends argued with her. They got fed up with her and left.
People who spend a lot of time operating from a child ego state usually are acting as
they did when they were a child. For example, Freda lost a lot of jobs because she
daydreamed when she should have been concentrating on her work. Fiona attempted to
manipulate men in her life with the expectation that she would get what she wanted as she
had from her father when a child.
Being in your child ego state does not mean that you are being childish. It simply
means that you are acting out as you did when you were a child.
The Child Ego State
The Child Ego State is primarily concerned with feelings though that does not mean
that when in the ‘here and now’ experience the person does not have access to attitudes and
thinking, but it simply means that when activated feelings are usually the executive energy
force.
The child ego state is the part of the personality, which is preserved from actual
childhood; it also contains all the impulses a person was born with. The child ego state is, as
said above, primarily about spontaneous feelings, needs and wants of the child. It is also
important to note that the child ego state contains ‘recordings’ of childhood memories and
experiences. Therefore, when the person feels and acts as they did when they were very
young, they are experiencing their child ego state.
The personality can be subdivided further into the Nurturing and Controlling parent
and the Free and Adapted child. An example of the nurturing side of the parent ego state
would be the person who lovingly takes care of the dog who go injured whilst crossing the
road. An example of the controlling parent being activated would be in the person who might
say ‘all dogs should be kept on leads and not allowed to roam free’ and do nothing to look
after the injured dog. From this particular example we can see how the same ego state can act
in different ways according to person’s past messages.
 An example of the difference between the free and adapted child ego state would be
for example, the person who complies to almost anything and perhaps may automatically say
‘thank you’ whilst repressing other feelings as opposed to the free child stance of free and
spontaneous feelings, according to the situation. The free child is naturally inquisitive,
curious and often does act without thinking of the consequences.
Another stance of the adapted child position is one of pseudo-rebellion. In other
words, an aware adaptation to a particular situation is the flip child of the compliant child
stance.
TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IN THERAPY
The goal of transactional analysis is helping the individual in therapy gain and
maintain autonomy by strengthening the Adult state. Typically, the individual and the
therapist will establish a contract that outlines the desired outcome they wish to achieve in
therapy. This may contribute to the person in therapy taking personal responsibility for events
that take place during treatment. The individual will generally then become more able to rely
on their Adult ego states to identify and examine various thoughts, behaviors, and emotions
which might hinder the ability to thrive.
Transactional analysis is frequently applied in the areas of medicine, communications,
education, and business management as well as therapy. The mainstream appeal of this
technique has attracted parents, professionals, social workers, and others who strive to
achieve maximum personal development. Transactional analysis is considered to be one
effective method of enhancing relationships with oneself and with others.
Studies show that transactional analysis, often used by counselors and clinicians to
address issues currently faced by the person in treatment, can be an effective tool in the
treatment of emotional and relationship difficulties that may develop as a result of chronic
health challenges.
Transactional analysis is used widely in the educational arena, and this method can
serve as a vessel through which educational principles and philosophy can be incorporated
into the daily lives of students. This type of therapy can be administered to children and
adults of all ages, regardless of social circumstances.

Conclusion
Transactional Analysis (TA) is a psychological theory that explores how people communicate
and interact. One of its central concepts is "ego states," which represent different aspects of
an individual's personality. There are three ego states: Parent (learned behaviors from
authority figures), Adult (rational and objective thinking), and Child (emotions and learned
behaviors from childhood). TA examines how these ego states influence communication in
transactions, which are interactions between people.
Dr. Eric Berne developed transactional analysis in the last 1950s, using “transaction” to
describe the fundamental unit of social intercourse, with “transactional analysis” being the
study of social interactions between individuals.
The goal of transactional analysis is helping the individual in therapy gain and maintain
autonomy by strengthening the Adult state. Typically, the individual and the therapist will
establish a contract that outlines the desired outcome they wish to achieve in therapy.

Analyses of Strokes and Life Positions

Humans are born with a fundamental need for connection. Throughout our lives, we look
for and receive this connection through diverse forms of verbal and nonverbal
communication:
 a smile;
 a hug;
 praise for something we do or who we are, and
 a challenge to something we do or who we are.

In transactional analysis, these modes of contact are called strokes. Eric Berne described
strokes as ‘a unit of recognition’ one person acknowledging another by way of act or speech.
Types of strokes:
 positive and negative
 verbal and nonverbal
 conditional and unconditional.

For example:
 Telling someone "I love you" is an unconditional positive stroke, affirming their
entire being.
 Saying "I love your cooking" is a conditional positive stroke, focusing on a specific
aspect of their being.
 Expressing dislike for someone's cooking is a conditional negative stroke.
  Saying "I hate you" is the ultimate unconditional negative stroke, rejecting their
entire being.

Throughout life, this communication develops our personality, informs our sense of self-
worth and defines our beliefs in ourselves, the world and others. Depending on the type of
strokes that we receive before adulthood we end up in one of four life positions, as defined in
Transactional Analysis.

Life Position
It is an individual's fundamental belief about themselves and others, which formed
during early childhood and influences their interpersonal relationships, communication
patterns, and overall psychological well-being throughout their life.
Eric Berne (1962) first articulated life positions in his article "Classification of
Positions." Berne identified four life positions:

There are different ways of diagramming these positions, but Ernst grid is one of the
famous and useful. According to Franklin Ernst who developed OK corral. Ernst’s grid
displays within four windows – our positive and negative views of the world. Those people
around us and ourselves.
 From https://southcottpsychotherapy.co.uk/transactional-analysis-life-positions/
1. I am OK—You are OK

It is considered the optimal, healthy position and is generally game-free.

People occupying this position will hold the belief that all people are innately worthy
and valuable. Wherein people are OK is a statement which describes their being or
essence rather than their behavior. This position is characterized by an attitude
openness and of honesty and trust. People occupying this position will be
collaborative and accepting of themselves and others.
For example:
A teacher believes that all students have the potential to learn and grow,
regardless of their background or abilities.
2. I am OK—You are not OK

It is occupied by those who project their difficulties onto others, they may be
blaming and critical. Transactional games that reinforce this position involve a self-
styled superior (the “I’m OK”) who projects anger, disgust, or disdain onto a
designated inferior, or scapegoat (the “You’re not OK”). This position requires that
there be someone to be ‘worse than’ in order to maintain the sense of self as ok.
For example:
A student who always criticizes their classmates' ideas in group discussions,
believing that their own ideas are superior. They may dismiss others' contributions
and dominate the conversation, creating a tense and competitive atmosphere.
3. I am not OK—You are OK

It is a position of being depressive. This position is characterized by feeling

powerless and lacking in comparison with others. People occupying this position may
discount their own needs in favor of others and may experience themselves as victims.
Transactional games supporting this position include “Kick me” and “Martyr”—
games that support the power of others and deny one’s own.
For example:
 A person who constantly seeks validation from others and puts their own
needs aside to please everyone else. They may feel inadequate compared to others and
constantly seek reassurance and approval from others to feel worthy.
4. I am not OK—You are not OK

It is a position of hopelessness, futility, and frustration. From this position life

seems uninteresting and hopeless. A sense of abandonment is felt during the first year
of strokes wither few and far between or non-existent which may lead to confusion
and a sense of pointlessness.
For example:
A person who has a pessimistic outlook on life and sees everyone, including
themselves, as flawed or unworthy. They may struggle with low self-esteem, feeling
disconnected from others, and finding it difficult to trust or form meaningful
relationships.

Developing people Skills

People skills are abilities to have positive interactions and build relationships with
others. These skills are essential to success in your personal and professional life. Learning
what people skills are and ways you can develop or strengthen your skills may help you
become a better communicator and leader, or accomplish other goals you have for your
career or personal life. Developing people skills, or interpersonal skills, is important because
these abilities help you become more successful. People skills are any abilities that you can
use to interact with others.

1. Cultivate emotional intelligence.

Your emotional intelligence is your ability to recognize and understand both your
emotions and the emotions of others. Learning how emotions drive behaviour and how to
control those emotions is fundamental to developing your emotional intelligence. If you
understand how emotional responses affect behaviour, this may help you avoid hurt feelings
when having difficult conversations. It can also help you motivate others, develop positive
relationships, and build strong teams that can work together.

2. Learn to listen.
 Listening is more than simply hearing what someone is saying. Learning to listen
involves paying attention to what someone is saying so you understand them and can respond
appropriately.

3. Develop conversation skills.

Engaging others in conversation is an important people skill and one you can develop
with practice. Conversation skills include listening to others so you may respond
thoughtfully, communicating clearly with your words and body language, and empathizing
with others so you can relate to them. Timing is also an important conversation skill.
Knowing when to respond can improve the flow of conversation and increase comfort levels.

4. Respect cultural differences.

When developing people skills, be aware that forms of social engagement can differ
from culture to culture. An accepted social practice in one culture may be offensive in
another. Before speaking with someone with a different culture, research cultural differences
so you can prepare. You're more likely to be forgiven for well-intentioned mistakes if you're
sincere in your efforts. Learning about other cultures is a great way to develop strong
interpersonal skills because you can learn about different worldviews and perceptions. This
can help you become more compassionate and empathetic towards others.

5. Give thoughtful compliments.

Giving a thoughtful compliment to another is a great way to start a conversation.
Being able to compliment others sincerely can help form personal and professional
relationships, which is an important people skill. Consider complimenting someone's work,
style, or accomplishment. This gives them an opportunity to tell you more and you can find
ways to relate. Compliments also encourage positive interactions and can make you more
personable. People may also compliment your work or congratulate you on an
accomplishment to start a conversation.

6. Allow Yourself Grace.

Be patient, forgive your progress, understand growth takes time, and embrace the
learning journey without being too hard on yourself. Try to give yourself grace while you're
learning new skills and remember that it's okay to make mistakes. While accepting that you
may sometimes fail, you can also identify where you struggle most and focus on developing
skills that help you succeed in these areas. For example, if you forget names, you can
research memory techniques to help make names more memorable.

7. Share the conversation.

Communication is an essential people skill, so learning how to converse with others
helps develop these skills. It's important to share the conversation you're having and allow
other people a turn to speak. Engage in open and constructive dialogues, exchange ideas, and
actively participate in discussions to enhance your abilities.

8. Leave a positive, lasting impression.

Leaving positive impressions on the people you meet can help build meaningful
relationships, which is a key people skill. You can learn how to make good impressions by
improving personality traits such as respect. Ensure you're polite in all your interactions.
‌
9. Building rapport.
Building rapport is an important aspect of developing people skills. Rapport refers to
the ability to establish a positive and harmonious relationship with others. Building rapport
creates a sense of trust and mutual understanding.

10. Empathy and emotional intelligence.

Empathy and emotional intelligence play a significant role in developing people
skills. Developing empathy and emotional intelligence allows you to connect with others on a
deeper level, understand their needs and concerns, and respond appropriately.

Emotional Management

 Emotional management is a set of skills that can help you react constructively to
people or events. Learning how to manage your emotions can benefit your career by
helping you make rational choices and develop relationships with others. Improving
your emotional management skills may take time and effort, but it can have positive
results in your professional life.
 Emotional management skills are abilities that help you regulate your emotional
responses to situations. They are a key part of emotional intelligence, which is a term
 that refers to a person's ability to identify and understand their own emotions and
those of other people.

Five key emotional management skills

1. Self-awareness
Self-awareness is a skill that allows you to predict how a situation or person might affect you
by understanding your own emotional state. It can allow you to observe your emotional
reactions to situations and learn how to improve your responses.
2. Reflection
Reflecting allows you to discover why you had a certain emotional reaction to a situation or
person and can help you resolve conflicts by separating the emotion from the situation.
3. Acceptance
A key emotional management skill is the ability to accept your emotions without assigning a
value to them, which can help you react rationally to a situation that's causing you to feel a
certain way.
4. Perspective
Developing a sense of perspective can help you manage your emotions by placing them into
context. Perspective can remind you that emotions are a healthy response to situations and
that you can overcome them to accomplish your tasks.
5. Empathy
Empathy is the ability to relate to how other people feel in a situation using your own
experience. Empathy can help you understand how other people feel based on the
circumstances you share with them.

Emotional factor

The emotional factor is all about a performer’s feelings and how these can influence the
outcome of any activity. This includes emotions which affect confidence, resilience and self-
control.

ANGER: an emotion that a performer may feel when frustrated, offended or wronged.

FEAR: an emotion brought on by feeling nervous about potentially making an error.

HAPPINESS/SADNESS: a reflection of how optimistic or negative a performer is feeling.

SURPRISE: a brief emotional reaction to something that has shocked you.

How to develop emotional management skills

1. Find ways to express your emotions

2. Recognize what makes you feel good
3. Give yourself space
4. Explore mindfulness
5. Learn breathing techniques
6. Keep a journal for your moods
7. Listen to podcasts or read books about emotional management
8. Consider speaking to a professional
SUMMARY

 EI can help a person recognize and navigate their own, as well as others’, emotions.
 Higher levels of EI can positively influence a person’s emotional and physical health as
well as make them more resilient to stress.
 Social Quotient also referred to as Social Intelligence Quotient is the ability of a person
to manage people and to know how to present oneself, what to say, and what not to say
in a social situation.
 Five components of EQ: Self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social
skills.
 A person can improve their EI by practicing meditation and by making small changes to
their routine.
 The spindle cells. Intuition or the “gut feeling” is a result of these cells. These are
triggered when the best of the choices is to be made i.e., we need to choose as our gut
guides us.
 Mirror neurons enable a person to mimic or mirror what the other being does.
 Effective listening is a communication skill that goes beyond simply hearing words. It
involves giving full attention to the speaker, understanding the message, and providing
feedback.
 Conversational skills refer to the ability to communicate effectively during discussions.
This includes active listening, clear expression of thoughts, maintaining appropriate eye
contact.
 Reputation management involves strategically influencing and controlling how an
individual or entity is perceived by others.
 Lack of arguing refers to situations where there is an absence or minimal occurrence of
disputes, disagreements, or verbal conflicts.
 Pay close attention to what (and who) is around you. Emphasizes the importance of
being observant and aware of your surroundings.
 Work on increasing your emotional intelligence. Suggests focusing on developing skills
related to recognizing, understanding, and managing emotions—both yours and others'.
 Respect cultural differences. Emphasizes acknowledging and appreciating the diversity
in customs, values, and behaviors among various cultures.
 Practice active listening. Involves fully concentrating, understanding, responding, and
remembering what someone is saying.
 Appreciate the important people in your life. Underscores the significance of
recognizing and expressing gratitude for the individuals who play significant roles in
your personal.
 Strokes in transactional analysis are units of recognition through verbal or nonverbal
communication, including positive and negative, conditional, and unconditional types.
 Life positions, influenced by early childhood experiences, shape individuals'
fundamental beliefs about themselves and others, leading to four possible positions: "I
am OK—You are OK," "I am OK—You are not OK," "I am not OK—You are OK," and
"I am not OK—You are not OK."
 Developing people skills, or interpersonal skills, is important because these abilities help
you become more successful. People skills are any abilities that you can use to interact
with others
REFERENCES

 Murugesan, Vijayalakshmi. “Social Intelligence.” SlideShare, 19 Feb. 2021,

www.slideshare.net/Vijirayar/social-intelligence-243052743.
 Bambora, Ms. Zahabiya. “Social Quotient and Its Significance.” HopeQure, 8 July 2023,
www.hopequre.com/blogs/social-quotient-and-its-biological-relevance-to-
leadership#:~:text=What%20is%20Social%20Quotient%20(SQ,say%20in%20a%20s
ocial%20situation.
 Segal, J. et al. (2023, December). Improving Emotional Intelligence (EQ). Retrieved
from https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/emotional-intelligence-eq.htm
 Williams, F. (2022, May). What to know about emotional intelligence. Retrieved from
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/components-of-emotional-intelligence
 Kentucky Counseling Center. (2021, October). How to Spot a Person With Low
Emotional Quotient. Retrieved from https://kentuckycounselingcenter.com/how-to-spot-
a-person-with-low-emotional-quotient/
 By, Murray, H., on, U., 24, O., & B.A.C.P., H. M. C. & P. (2023, October 24).
Transactional Analysis Theory & Therapy: Eric Berne. Simply Psychology.
https://www.simplypsychology.org/transactional-analysis-eric-berne.html
 Cooke, B. (n.d.). Transactional Analysis and Ego States. Manchester Institute for
Psychotherapy. https://mcpt.co.uk/transactional-analysis-and-ego-states/?
fbclid=IwAR0mfWghqaTKglL3JjzQJTszh6gC3BT9C2tWRqe2neLb5soqU1P7FNo2wxs
 Team, G. E. (2016b, September 5). Transactional analysis. GoodTherapy.
https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/types/transactional-analysis
 Feeling good… the need for strokes! (n.d.). Www.counselling-Directory.org.uk.
Retrieved February 3, 2024, from
https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/memberarticles/feeling-good-the-need-for-
strokes#:~:text=If%20the%20strokes%20we%20receive
 Analysis of Strokes AND Life Positions | PDF | Social Skills | Conversation. (n.d.).
Scribd. Retrieved February 3, 2024, from
https://www.scribd.com/presentation/515578435/ANALYSIS
 Southcott, Z. (2019, March 22). Transactional Analysis: Life Positions. Southcott
Psychotherapy. https://southcottpsychotherapy.co.uk/transactional-analysis-life-positions/
 The Ernst OK Corral. (n.d.). Ernstokcorral.com. Retrieved February 3, 2024, from
https://ernstokcorral.com/
‌
 12 tips for developing people skills (and it’s importance). (n.d.).
Https://ca.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/developing-people

 Emotional factors – SATPE. (2019, May

20).https://www.satpe.co.uk/2019/05/20/emotionalfactors/
 Emotional Management Skills: What They Are and How To Develop Them. (2022,
October22). Indeed. Retrieved February 3, 2024, from
https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/emotional-management-
skills?fbclid=IwAR3dLD15zzBDew6A-
rFnaUizSOKAdA9bk_xeVS802KVzS2Onv_NgAmM-U9w