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Befriending Your Fear

By Janis Richman
A head full of fear, doubt and worry has no room for dreams ............................................................ 2
It’s impossible not to have fear .......................................................................................................... 2
Do it afraid ........................................................................................................................................ 3
Is it possible to befriend your fears?................................................................................................... 4
Five practices to befriend your fear - learn how to “do it afraid” ......................................................... 5
Next steps, new beginnings ............................................................................................................... 9
You don’t have to do it alone ............................................................................................................. 9
Here’s to your dreams! ...................................................................................................................... 9
About Janis...................................................................................................................................... 10

A special thanks to
Mary Morrissey
And
Dr. Libby Weaver

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Befriending Your Fear
5 Practices you can use to move past your fears and live your dream
By Janis Richman

Have you ever wondered what your life would be like if you weren’t afraid?

What would you do that you have always wanted to do? What goals would you set? What
would you ask the Universe to present to you? So often, we are so afraid that we can’t even
imagine having what we want.

A head full of fear, doubt and

worry has no room for dreams

Fear is our biggest barrier to achieving our dreams and feeling alive. It’s often so rooted in
us that we don’t believe it is even possible to have the life we would love. But what if we
weren’t trapped by our fear and refused to let it rob us of the life we would love? Just
imagine living a life that is successful, fulfilled and without limitations ― one where you can
experience freedom, fun and flow!

It’s impossible not to have fear

Anyone who experiences greatness must also learn to experience and manage fear. What I
consistently see in people who are successful is the willingness to learn to befriend their
fear. They honor its presence and “do it afraid.” They learn to kick fear out of the driver’s
seat.

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If you are going to be successful at anything, you can expect to have a certain amount of
fear. Fear is simply feedback letting you know you are at the edge of the life you have
known.

If you let fear, anxiety or doubt rule you, you will find yourself reacting to circumstances --
rather than responding from a place of power.

Fear doesn’t mean we can’t, it simply means we haven’t.

~Mary Morrissey

It can be tempting to engage – or even encourage -- our fearful thoughts. As Abraham Hicks
would say, “Worrying is using your imagination to create something you don't want." When
we worry, we lose the connection to our inner strength, and our vibration becomes
contracted rather than expanded. This limits our capacity to effectively make decisions and
move forward.

Fear shows up as you reach the border of the reality you know. Your growing edge will
always feel uncomfortable. When you are in the life you know and recognize, you may feel
comfortable, but it’s likely you also feel constricted. You may not feel frightened, but you
may not feel happy or vibrantly alive either. You know that life. It’s what you’ve become
used to.

Where you are now and where you want to be is called “the gap.” As you move through that
gap towards your dream, it’s natural to feel a bit awkward or unskilled -- it’s because you are
on your way to becoming more of who you are.

Do it afraid
Our vision of the life we would love calls us to
step outside of the life we’ve known; to step
outside of our comfort zone.

Magic happens at that green growing edge.

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 Courage is moving ahead in spite of your fear. Once you decide to step into your greatness,
fear will be a companion. In order to have your dream, you must be willing to get
uncomfortable.

Y0ur level of success is directly proportional to your ability to tolerate discomfort, your
ability to befriend fear.

As you move in the direction of your dream…

What are some of the fears you will have to befriend?

Is it possible to befriend your fears?

Yes! There are a number of strategies and skills for deepening and developing your inner
muscles for overcoming fear. Practicing “doing it afraid” strengthens those muscles so it
becomes easier to recognize what’s scaring you and allows you to move forward anyway.

There is a big difference between fear having us and us having fear.

~Mary Morrissey

The Key: Put your focus back on your vision

Have you ever noticed that when you really want something badly enough that you are
willing to push through any beliefs or fears that are holding you back?

The greatest dream builders in the world have all been afraid. People who are never afraid
are always staying in their comfort zones and nothing great ever happens. When what we
want is greater than what we fear, we move forward.

This truth freed me from a life of pain and limping. I have been a dancer all my life, and for
the past 30 years, I have been enjoying a dance form called contact improvisation. For 7
years, I was afraid of having hip surgery and danced in pain all that time. I thought for sure
that there was nothing that could make me agree to “go under the knife.” Then 3 years ago,
I started traveling extensively for business and pleasure. And, it was part of my dream to do
even more of it.

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 I had just come back from Mexico, and even walking short distances on the beach was
painful. My dance was also beginning to be more affected. So, I started to imagine traveling
and dancing with ease of movement. I saw myself gliding across the dance floor and
running on the beach. I did that many times a day for 2 weeks.

Then, the magic happened… I remember waking up one

morning, and the fear had been totally replaced by a
desire to move freely. Suddenly, I couldn’t wait to get
the surgery scheduled, and I made an appointment that
day. Not only that, I decided that I was going to be the
poster child for recovery and saw myself dancing with
ease and grace. I followed all instructions and did all my
exercises to ensure results. Four weeks after the
surgery, I was back on the dance floor – dancing better
than ever!

What actions steps can you take to befriend your fears?

Five practices to befriend your fear - learn how to “do it afraid”

1. Have the courage to dream
Allow yourself to be a little uncomfortable (or even a lot) while you create a vision for the
life you would love to live. Write down your vision with as much detail as you can. Write it in
the present tense as if you are experiencing it now. Bathe it in gratitude. For instance, you
can start each paragraph with “I am so happy and grateful now that I am…” and then
describe your wonderful life. Doing this raises up your vibration and also allows you to feel
what it would be like to live it. Then, read your vision every morning and every night. As you
read your vision and notice how you are feeling, imagine yourself living it free from of fear.

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2. Step into the feeling tone
This practice builds on and enhances the vision practice
above. Keep practicing by reading your vision. Now begin
to notice how you would be if you weren’t afraid. Use
your imagination. Act it out. Get to know this new version
of yourself living your dream. What does this new you do?
What do you read, eat for breakfast? Who do you spend
time with? See yourself speaking up, asking for what you
want. As you practice envisioning your new life, what
does it feel like to be the bold, new you?

3. Pay attention to what you are paying attention to

Notice where you are placing your attention most of the time. Wherever you put your
attention, it will magnify. So, keep your attention on your dream. Keep your awareness on
the higher truth -- that you are part of something way bigger than any circumstance or
situation that might appear to be stopping you. That power and presence is everywhere and
it’s part of who you are. Focusing your attention on your higher truth helps set you free
from constriction. It loosens the paralyzing grip of fear that up until now, may have held you
back from your dreams.

We all know that facts and circumstances exist, but it’s what we believe about them and
how we respond to them that either keeps us trapped in fear or helps us reclaim our power
and glide through our discomfort zone.

What are some facts that keep you in fear of pursuing your dream?

Is it the amount of money you have in your bank account? How little free time you may have?
Is it that you didn’t go to college or never earned more than a certain amount of money in
your life?

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Rather than focusing on facts and circumstances, focus on higher truths that remind you of
who you are:

• I live in an abundant Universe.

• I have all the time I allow myself to have.
• The power within me is greater than any circumstances or conditions outside of me.
• My history does not dictate my future.
• There is an opportunity in EVERY situation.
• Something positive can emerge from every situation.

Write affirmative statements like these that apply to your life. Read them out loud every
day. This will shift your attention and allow you to focus on creating what you want, rather
than on what no longer serves or supports you.

4. Belly breathe
Most everyone experiences nervousness or anxiety when trying something new. Have you
ever wondered what being “nervous” was all about? When we are afraid, our fear thoughts
cause us to feel unsafe which in turn causes our sympathetic nervous system (SNS) to kick in
with stress hormones that result in negative emotions — which makes us feel even more
unsafe. It is very difficult to make decisions or take action when we don’t feel safe.

But there is another remarkable part of our nervous system – the parasympathetic nervous
system (PNS) that exists to allow us to feel calm and peaceful.

When you are in fear, you take short, sharp shallow breaths, which activates your SNS.
However, when you breathe diaphragmatically – moving your tummy in and out with each
breath – you are activating your PNS and communicating to every cell in your body that you
are safe. It makes sense… as you would never be able to breathe this way if your life truly
were in danger. The only way to activate your PNS is through your breath!

“You cannot access the PNS with your conscious-thinking, instructional mind.
In other words, you cannot boss your PNS into activation!
The only way you can influence it is simply by how you breathe.”

~Dr. Libby Weaver

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Activating the PNS via your breath immediately results in a reduction of stress hormone
levels as well as blood pressure. PNS activation also strengthens the immune system and
increases feelings of happiness.

Here’s how to do it: Inhale into your belly for 10 counts and hold for 10 counts. Then exhale
for 10 counts pushing your belly back in. This will relax your body and mind almost instantly.

Practice belly breathing on a regular basis – especially when you are feeling stressed or
afraid. I even do it while sitting in traffic!

5. Find something you are afraid of, and go do it!

Find something that you’re afraid of -- something that’s not

going to cause you physical harm, drain your bank account,
or destroy your relationship. It doesn’t have to be huge;
just enough to push you past your green growing edge.
Then go do it!

When you awaken the next morning, you will have

reframed your past. You will have created a past where you
experienced your capacity for courage and “doing it
afraid.” You will have shifted your vibration from
constriction to expansion.

By practicing this consistently, you will begin to master

befriending your fear.

“Do ONE thing every day that scares you.”

~ Eleanor Roosevelt

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Next steps, new beginnings
Now that you have new tools to help you transform your relationship with fear, you can
begin to close that gap of where you are and where you want to be. You can begin to live
your dream.

Know that these practices are here to support you so don’t feel
you have to master them all at once! Pick one or two practices
that resonate with you and begin there. The most important
thing you can do for yourself is to take immediate action on at
least one of these practices and be persistent. Commit to
maintaining your practice for a minimum of three days in a row.
Continue to re-commit to persist.

You don’t have to do it alone

If you find you would like additional support, I am here for you.

One of the things that brings me joy is having the honor of helping my
clients transform their lives in powerful ways.

Was this guide helpful to you? What was your biggest takeaway?
Which practice have you decided to begin with? Reach out with your
comments and your questions. Contact me at
janis@continuumlifecoach.com. I’d love to hear from you.

Here’s to your dreams!

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About Janis
Janis, a masterful coach, facilitator and educator, has been guiding
people for over 30 years.

She works with individuals, groups and corporate teams to pinpoint

their goals and clarify their visions. Her transformational techniques
allow people to see consistent positive shifts in their lives with
immediate results and less effort. Her approach supports clients in
realizing their full potential — moving beyond their limitations -- to
present their best selves and achieve the life they love.

Janis has masters degrees in Clinical Psychology and Health Services Administration. She worked as
a behavioral therapist before becoming a corporate trainer, developing innovative methodologies
for improving how people learn and apply technology for strategic results. She is a certified Dream
Builder Coach from Life Mastery Institute; a certified Conscious Aging Facilitator from the Institute
of Noetic Science; and a Licensed Spiritual Practitioner from the Centers for Spiritual Living.

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