YORK AWARD - WRITE ON

Write On – Example Course Outline 2013

Sessions 1 / 2 (weeks 2-3)

Grammar, style and punctuation
Academic essay writing-paragraphing, structure, introductions and conclusions
(writing reflection task handed in Week 2)

Session 3 (week 4)
One-to-one tutorials on reflection task

Sessions 4/5 (weeks 4-5)

Feedback on proof-reading task
More punctuation, grammar and spelling
Writing a briefing document in class

Session 6 (week 6)
Feedback on briefing document task
More punctuation, grammar and spelling

Session 7 (week 7)
Feedback on briefing document task
Final review of academic/professional writing: matters arising

(This is subject to change according to what areas need to be covered)

Assessment 1= Reflecting on your writing

Assessment 2= Proof-reading task

Assessment 3 = Writing a briefing document

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Diagnostic Task - Assess Your Grammar and Punctuation

The following task consists of a number of examples of incorrect or inappropriate use of grammar
and punctuation in academic and formal writing.
1. Find the errors and underline them.
2. Briefly describe what is wrong.
3. Write an improved version.

If you know the appropriate grammatical terms to describe the errors then use them.

1. There are many helpful books about writing English, however, students still
make mistakes.

Error:
Improved version

2. The development of alternative energy sources completely change the

economics of energy production and reduce our reliance on fossil fuels.

Error:
Improved version

3. Knowing the initial temperature, the speed of the drum, and the rate of heating,
the temperature could be calculated at any point on the graph.

Error:
Improved version

4. There were less cars on the road due to the poor weather.

Error:
Improved version

5. Many towns have experienced similar flooding problems, i.e. Shrewsbury, Bridgnorth
and Selby.

Error:
Improved version

6. This review is written by someone whom, it appears, is illiterate.

Error:
Improved version

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7. The politician’s aims include winning the election, a national health programme
and the education system.

Error:
Improved version:

8. Their is considerable doubt weather this solution will be affective.

Error:
Improved version:

9. The minister agreed in principle with the urban public transport system
development plan.

Error:
Improved version:

10. Nowadays pneumatic tyres are fitted to virtually all vehicles, originally they were
developed for use on bicycles.

Error:
Improved version:

11. Steiner believed the child should be protected from the world. This is due to the
adult being influenced by their experience as a child.

Error:
Improved version:

12. The plan, having been ratified, the government set out to win support from the
companies concerned.

Error:
Improved version:

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Paragraphs
Paragraphs are the building blocks of your writing.
They group points together and separate the groups from other groups.
So, you need to know what to group/separate and why.

You use paragraphs to make:

1. your essay as a whole less mentally tiring to read, and
2. your argument easier to understand.
3 your important points hit the reader with high impact.

Thus, a journalist or an adman often uses paragraphs differently from an academic.

Task 1
Here is an advert. The sentences and paragraphs are quite appropriate for an advert.
The result does not read well as an essay. WHY NOT?

Gizmos. They’re popping up everywhere to satisfy a market which is, we are constantly told, hungry for
time-saving technology.
It is already possible, if you have the cash, to buy washing machines and televisions which fix themselves,
paint which changes colour according to temperature and a fridge which can send e-mails.

Simple Academic Paragraphs

1. Give each paragraph a main idea.

Newspapers and ads don't, but it makes academic text much better.
It is often worth having a single sentence that summarises the paragraph, or contains the main idea.
This is generally called a 'topic sentence'.
These can come at the start, the middle or the end.
If you have a lot of figures (eg a survey report), it is a good idea to start with a topic sentence.

Topic sentences:
Look at the topic sentence in the following paragraph (highlighted in bold) and consider its role in
the paragraph. Then answer the questions below:

In some parts of the world, countries are faced with problems of inadequate and unevenly
distributed water resources. Some countries have developed a variety of strategies to meet
the water needs of their people and their agriculture. Such strategies are often implemented
in areas which receive an abundant supply of rain in their mountainous regions and suffer a
severe shortage in their low-lying and coastal areas. In the mountains, rainfall is captured and
channelled into a network of interlinked streams, which then feed into many planted terraces.
Similarly, dams constructed in countries with desert valleys trap and contain excess water
flowing down from the mountains above.

a. Do all paragraphs have topic sentences?

b. What does a topic sentence contain?
c. Where is a topic sentence in a paragraph?
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d. Why are topic sentences useful to the reader and why are they useful to the writer?

2. Give the main idea enough examples and supporting details and references.
You may also want to qualify it

3. Give the paragraph an internal argument

You go from X to Y: a sort of mental journey.
So, there is a pathway of basic ideas for the reader.
You should be able to list the basic ideas (e.g. in the margin).
You need to link the sentences together, so the reader can go down the pathway without a nervous
breakdown.
Don't make the reader go backwards or memorise things (ie. avoid "the former/letter").
Make sure the paragraph has an end - and does not just stop.

4. Variety in all things

Vary your sentence length
Vary your paragraph length
Vary the position of topic sentences (&/or don't always use them)

We can identify three qualities of effective academic paragraphs:

UNITY, COHERENCE and ADEQUATE DEVELOPMENT

What does UNITY

involve?

What does COHERENCE

involve?

What does ADEQUATE

DEVELOPMENT involve?

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A good paragraph will have unity: it will develop one main topic or idea without rambling or digressing.
Task 2 Which sentences should be removed to preserve the unity of the following paragraph?

(a)Wind can be thought of as a natural power source that man can use to do his work. (2) Two familiar
applications are to propel ships and windmills used in agriculture for irrigation and water supply. (3)
However, windmills are rather difficult to construct and require relatively large open spaces. (4) For
example, even today, small windmills are still extensively used for water pumping in rural communities in
Australia, South Africa and the U.S.A. (5) These countries have regions which experience high winds which
makes such an energy source easily exploitable. (6) Britain does not have such high winds. (7) There are also
a number of small electricity generating windmills which provide power for isolated farmhouses and rural
communities. (8) The USA wind energy programme is one of the largest wind energy programmes in the
world.

A good paragraph will have coherence: it will have an internal argument with sentences linked together
clearly and logically.
Task 3 Which sentences should be removed to preserve the coherence of the following paragraph?

1) The decay of radioactive elements in the earth continually produces heat. (2) The heat rises to the surface
but the temperature increases with increasing depth at a rate of about 8 to 20oC per km. (3) The deeper the
earth's surface is penetrated the hotter it becomes. (4) The key issue is how this source of energy can be
extracted efficiently. (5) Some is already converted in the form of hot springs, but the efficiency here is only
estimated at 25%. (6) Efficiency is so important and therefore new methods must be found so that energy can
be extracted more efficiently. (7) A further more recent method for extraction is through drilling down to a
depth of about 5km and pumping water into these dry holes from the surface; the steam created then rises
from another hole. (8) It is too early to comment on the efficiency and economic viability of this approach.
(9) More time is needed before decisions can be made whether this method will prove cost effective and
sufficiently efficient for widespread use.

There are many ways to develop a paragraph, but this usually requires at least four sentences.

Troubleshooting Paragraphs

Remember! Poor paragraphing results from a lack of one of more of the following:

 An orderly sequence (cohesion)  A balance between the claims made and

 A logical progression from point to evidence offered
point (coherence)  A lack of integration with what comes
before or after

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Checklist for your paragraphs for clarity and flow of ideas

1. Does each paragraph have a topic sentence stating the main idea? If not, do the paragraphs need such
a sentence?

2. Try to locate the central idea of each paragraph. If you have a central idea, it should be possible to
think of a word or phrase to summarise this.

3. List the points that are made in the paragraph. Think about the information in terms of whether
enough details in the paragraph support your central idea.

4. Are all the points you listed relevant? You may have included some details that should be omitted.

5. Is the information you are left with related enough to the central idea to warrant inclusion in the
same paragraph? Could you make a paragraph division within this paragraph or join the paragraph to
one immediately before or after?

Introductions checklist
A good essay / assignment introduction may / will ….

1. Introduce the topic of the assignment- this is often best done by restating the title in
some way.

2. Describe the background to the topic-the history and/or context.

3. Define key terms-this is particularly important where terms have diverse interpretations

4. Give reasons for writing the assignment- justify your topic focus, identify a gap to be
filled

5. Introduce questions/problems that the essay will address

6. Explain purpose-refer to the scope of the essay-a narrow focus or a more general focus?

7. Give an indication of your position/thesis statement – summarise your argument,

viewpoint or perspective

8. Outline the structure of the assignment e.g. Firstly, the assignment will…

Further Questions:
a) Can you see any elements that overlap?
b) Which elements do you consider to be ‘essential’?
c) Which elements would you include in shorter examination essays?

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Writing Practice - Introductions

Title: ‘Is Archaeology Useful to society?’

Points that could be included in the essay

 Archaeology as useful as / part of other mainstream school subjects – history and local studies, Maths-
measuring etc. geography

 Inspiration to artists poets and novelists

 Archaeology as a revenue earner, attracting tourists

 Re-learn from the past - Ancient agricultural techniques are of value today in some regions (Peru)

 Archaeological evidence used to support historical claims to national identity (Israel) or example of
Hitler using Archaeological evidence for Aryan supremacy claims.

An introduction to improve?

Use the introduction checklist, how could you improve the attempted introduction below?

Archaeology is the process of investigating ancient cultures through their material remains. At first glance is
it is hard to imagine how this discipline could possibly be of any use to any group of organised individuals in
the world today beyond the realm of being vaguely interesting. Many people stick to the idea that the past
has gone and we cannot change it therefore it is of no use and we should just leave it alone. They are partly
correct. The past has gone and wonderful as today’s technology may be it has not yet given us a means of
changing our history. But that does not mean that it should be ignored. A closer look will reveal that
archaeology is not only useful to today’s society but is in fact an important component in that society.

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Assessing introductions
Apply the introduction check list to these extracts from student writing:
a.
In response to the question: “Unfair competition from imports provides justification for tariff and non-tariff
protection for domestic producers”. Critically examine this assertion.

‘Such a claim as that given above, is common in daily newspapers. In this essay it is argued that the
assertion is, in general, false and that romantic assertions are no substitute for careful analysis and empirical
evidence. I shall begin by reviewing some possible meanings of the word ‘unfair’ and shall argue that the
appropriate concept relates to the international and domestic distribution of the gains from trade or welfare
losses from protection. I shall then proceed to show that protection tends to discourage specialisation
according to comparative advantage and to impose net welfare losses on both trading partners, especially in
the long run. I shall also argue that tariffs, along with other non-tariff barriers to trade, tend to harm
consumers and producers in both trading partners and do so, moreover, in such a fashion that cannot readily
be seen to be ‘fair’. The theoretical argument will be illustrated by reference to empirical evidence on trade
between developing and developed economies’.

b.
In response to the question: ‘What are the lessons for Anarchism of the Spanish Civil War?’

‘Anarchists were very active in the Spanish Civil War, especially at the start. Their contingents
fought hard and well at the front; their workers’ organisations ran industries and whole cities; in the
countryside communes sprang up. Yet the anarchists not only found themselves on the losing side,
they contributed to that defeat by allowing themselves to be undermined and in the end
overwhelmed by those with whom they had allied themselves. Anarchism in the Spanish Civil War
suffered self-inflicted disaster. This essay aims to establish this thesis, which is admittedly a
controversial one, first by describing the part played by the Anarchists in the Civil War and by
showing what happened to them and second by analysing their mistakes which led to their failure.
Some of the failures were beyond their control and probably inevitable, but others could have been
avoided. To understand how they could have been avoided is to learn the lessons of the Spanish
Civil War, and to learn how anarchism could be more successful’.

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Assessing an introduction ( further task)

TASK
Read this essay introduction and make a list of its good points. Compare your points with a partner.

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