Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Working With Survivors of Abuse Handouts
Working With Survivors of Abuse Handouts
Working With Survivors of Abuse Handouts
1. Message to survivors
5. Aftereffects of abuse
a. Severity of aftereffects by type of abuse
b. Symptom constellation
c. The Incest survivor's aftereffects checklist
7. Goals of treatment
10. Flashbacks
12.Countertransference Issues
. , They are survivors. If you don't have respect for
their strength you can't be of any help, It's a
privilege that they let you in - there's no reason
they should trust you - none. You can't know their
terror - it's your worst nightmare come true - a
nightmare. from which you never awaken,
\
It's
unrelenting. There has been no safety: no one, no
time, no place, no thing - all was tainted. Hope
was obliterated - time and time again. That they
are in your office is in itself a supreme act of
valor.
---·-·-··
Working with Survivors of Abuse
Part II: Uncovering the Abuse
"Presented by Mark O'Brien, CSW
March 30, 1994
Important Issues:
Things to A void:
- ~void giving the message that the patient is in.fil!Y way responsible for the abuse.
- Avoid minimizing the abuse.
- Avoid spending time trying to understand the abuser.
- Avoid implying that the survivor needs to forgive the abuser.
- Avoid implying that sexual preference is the result of abuse.
- Avoid touching without permission.
- An authoritarian stance can be a problem because it risks re-abusing the patient.
MIKE A:WORKING
Erickson's Developmental Tasks
• Main Question: "Am I loved and wanted?" or "Shall I share my life with someone or live
alone?"
L Normal appearing
2. Chaotic
Characteristics of each:
.,
'IL
. .
FAMILY MESSAGES TO SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE
* Don't feel. Keep your feelings in check. Do not show your feelings,
especially anger. .
*Bein cohtrol at all times. Do not sho~ weakness. Do not a~k for help.
* Keep the secret. If you tell you will not be believed and it will not
get help.
2. Emotional effects;
• depression uulnerability
• amdety rage
• guilt loss
• grief fear of loss of control
4. Somatic effects;
• somatic disorders and somatization
• directly and indirectly related to focus of abuse
• physiological changes and dysregulation
5. seauat effects;
• sexual emergence
• sexual identity
• arousal, response and satisfaction
.
(Maltz e, Holman, 1987) ·
.
7. Social effects; .
• inability to tunctlnn, usually ouer functioning, occupationally and
socially
• antisocial, deuìant behauiors
• comnutstue and adrìtctlue behauiors
,¡"{ ,r.• " ' ' ,. \ ' ,: ' - ' '
•
3. Use of force
8. Parental reaction
9. Institutional response
e History of revictimization
e History of self-injury
e Polarities of behavior .
0 Amnesia
- past·
= current
® Grief
7
//
l. ·Fc:ar of bc:ing. alortë. in che: dark, of sleeping alone; nightmares, nigh~ 'terrors (especially of
pursuit, threat, entrapmenr)
2. Swallowing and gagging sensitiviry; repugnance to water on one's face: when bathing or
swimming (suffocation feelings) ..
3. Alic:nacion from the: body-not ac home in own body; failure: to heed-body- signals çr take
care: of one's body; poor body image; manipulating body size: to avoid sexual attention
4. Gasrrointc:srinal problems; gynecologic.al disorders (including spontaneous vaginal infec-
tions); headaches; arthritis or joint pain
5. Wc:aring a lot of clothing, c:vc~_ i:g summer; baggy clothes; failure to remove clothing even
when appropriate: to do so {~~rê:._swÙruiîing_, bathing, slec:ping); extreme :q:qui~ement for
privacy whc:n using bathroori:i~- · · · · ·· ··' ·.
6. Eating disorders, drug or alcohol abus~ {or rÖta! abstinence}; other addictions; ~ompu~ivc:
behaviors
7. Self-destructiveness; skin carving, self-abuse:
8. Phobias
9. Need to be: invisible, perfect, or perfectly bad
10. Suicidal thoughts, attempts, obsession (including "passive suicide")
11. Depression (somc:cimc:s paralyzing); sec:min~~ baseless crying
U. Anger issues; inabiliry to recognize, own, or ~pr~
~ngcr; fur of actual or imagined rage;
constanr2~n'geÏ:; intense hostility toward ~n}e·~-~~~Ô¡:~~ic group of the perpetrator
... : - . .. .:-~-
13. Splitting (depersonalizarion); going into shock, shutdo~~ in crisis;· a stressful situation al-
ways is a crisis; psychic numbing; physical pain or numbness associated, with a particular
-memory, emotion (e.g., anger), or siruation (e.g., sex)
14. 'Rigid concrei of one's thought procc:ss; humorlessness or extreme solemniry
15. Childhood hiding, hanging on, cowering in corners (security-seeking behaviors); adult ner-
vousncss ov:.r being watched or surprised; feeling watched; srarile response
16. Trust issuesi 'inabiliry to trust (trust is nor safe); rotal trust; trusting indiscriminately
17. High risk taking ("daring rhe fates"); inabiliry to cake: risks
18. Boundary issues; co~rrol, power, terrirorialiry issues; fear of losing conrrol; obsessive/corn-
pulsive behaviors (attempts to control things chat don't matter, just to control somc:rhing)
19. Guilt, shame; low self-esteem, feeling worthless; high appreciation of small favors by others
20. Pattern of being a victim (victimizing oneself after being victimized by others), especially
sexually; no sense of own power or right to set limits or say no; pattern of relationships with
much older persons (onset in adolescence) ·
21. Feeling demand to .. produce: and be: loved"; instinctively knowing and doing what the: other
person needs or-wants; ·rdationships,mc,;¡g..mg.,u.adcoffs.,(love was .raken, not givc:n)
22. Abandonment issues
_; · 23. Blocking-out some period o_f early years (especially 1-12), or a specific person or place:
24. Feeling of -~rrying ~n awf~Í sccre~; urge: t~ tell, fc:~r of its being revealed; certainty that no
one will listen; being generally secretive; feeling "marked" (the "scarlet letter")
25. Feeling crazy; feeling different; feeling oneself to be unreal and everyone else to be real, or
vice: versa; creating fantasy wodds, relationships,. or identities (especially for women: imag-
ining or wishing self to be male, i.e., not :r victim)
___ 26. Denial: no awareness at all; repression of memories; pretending; minimizing ( .. it wasn't that
bad"); ~aving dreams ai: memories ("maybe it's my imagination"); strong, deep, "inappro-
priate" negative reactions to a person, place, or event; .. sensory flashes" (a light, a place, a
physical feeling) wimQUt a sense of th_etr.:_~aning; remembering the surroundings but _nqt th~
event
_ 27. Sexual issues: sex f~els •icfìrry'- ~.-â,v1:b¡ron ·to bçirîg.ì,touched, especially ïri gynecological exam;
0
strong aversion co (or need for) pari:ìéular sex acts; '(é~ling betrayed by one's óody; trouble
integrating sexuality and emotionality; confusion or overlapping of affection, sex, domi-
nance, aggression, and violence; having to pursue power in sexual arena which is accually
sexual acting out (self-abuse and manipulation, especially among women; abuse of ochers,
especially among men); compulsively "seductive" or: compulsively asexual; must be sexual
aggressor or cannot be; impersonal, "promiscuous" sex with strangers concurrent wich in-
ability to have sex in intimate relationship (conflict between sex and caring}; prostitute, strip-
per, "sex symbol," porn actress; sexual acting out to meet anger or revenge needs;
.. sexaholisrn"; avoidance; shutdown; crying after orgasm; all pursuit feds like violation; sex-
ualizing of meaningful relationships; erotic response co abuse or anger, sexual fantasies of
dominance or rape (Noce: Homosexuality is not an aftereffect)
28. Pattern of ambivalent or intensely conflictive relationships (intimacy is a problem; also focus
shifted from incest issues)
29. Avoidance of mirrors (connected with invisibilicy, shame/self-esteem issues, distrust of per-
ceived body image)
30. Desire to change one's name (to disassociate from the perpetrator or to take control through
self-läbeling) -:-
31. Limited tolerance for happiness; active withdrawal from happiness, rc:lucrance to trust hap-
piness ( .. ice=rhin ")
_ 32. Aversion t~ making noise •(including during sex, crying, laughing, or other body functions);
verbal hypervigilance (careful monitoring of one's words); quiet-voiced, especially when
needing to be heard
33. Stealing (adults); stealing and starting fires (children)
34. Multiple pc:rsonaliry
7. Grieving
3. Remembering
4. Believing It Happened
5. Breaking Silence
6. Understanding That It Wasn't Your Fault
12.Forgiveness?
13.Spirituality
STAGE FIVE: INTEGRATE THE PAST AND BEGIN RECREATING THE FUTURE
• I have made an internal choice to forgive and a have willingness to recreate a meaningful life for myself.
Flashbacks
By Laurieann Chutis, A.C.S.W.
As a child (or adolescent), we had to insulate ourselves from the emotional and physical horrors
of the trauma. In order to survive, that insulated child remained isolated, unable to express the
feelings and thoughts ofthat time. It is as though we put that part into a time capsule until it
comes out full-blown in the present.
When that part comes out, the little one is experiencing the past as if it were happening today. As
the flashback occurs, it is as if we forget that we have an adult part available to us for
reassurance, protection and grounding. The intense feelings and body sensations occurring are so
frightening because the feelings/sensations are not related to the reality of the present and many
times seem to come from nowhere.
We begin to think we are crazy and afraid of telling anyone (including our therapist) of these
experiences. We feel out of control and at the mercy of our experiences.
We begin to avoid situations, and stimuli, that we think triggered it. Many times flashbacks occur
during any form of sexual intimacy, or it may be a person who has similar characteristics to the
perpetrator, or it may b a situation today that stirs up similar trapped feelings ( confronting
aggressive people).
If you are experiencing stronger feelings than are called for in the present situation ... you are
experiencing a flashback.
Vietnam vets have normalized this experience and have coined the term post traumatic stress
syndrome.
Even the diagnostic category book for psychiatry defines post traumatic stress syndrome as the
normal experience of all people experiencing an event that is outside the range of normal human
expenence.
Flashbacks feel crazy because the little one doesn't know that there is an adult survivor available
to help.
Transference Issues in
Treating Incest Trauma
• Betrayal, disillusionment, mistrust
- criticism and judgement
• Traumatic transference
- you will do to me what others did
- you will be gratified by exploiting me
• Interpersonal/intimacy difficulties
.
** Therapist is not the parent and cannot make up for past losses. Losses
must be grieved. _ Therapist will be traumatized doing this work.
Therapist must decline being another sadistic abuser (Herman, 1987).