CHAPTER IV

RESULTS AND DISCUSSION

4.1 Research result

4.1.1 General Description of Research Locations

The Kambu District area, astronomically located to the south of the

equator, is between 3º 59' 55” - 4º 5' 25” South Latitude and 122º 30' 39” - 122º

33' 41” East Longitude. So far, regarding the geographical location of the Kambu

District area, to the north it borders Mandonga District; to the south it borders

Baruga and Poasia Districts; to the east it borders Poasia District; and to the west

it borders Kadia District, Wua-Wua District, and Baruga District. Kambu District

was formed based on Kendari City Regional Regulation Number 23 of 2006

which was stipulated on December 12 2006, with Level III Regional District

status. The land area of Baruga District is 24.63 km2 (BPS Kendari, 2021).

4.1.2 Area of Kambu District

The area of Kambu District is 24.63 km², contributing 9.21 percent of the

total land area of Kendari City, making it the fifth largest district of the ten

existing districts. The variation in area area by sub-district is very diverse, with

Mokoau Sub-District being the largest, followed by Lalolara, Kambu and Padaleu

Sub-districts. (BPS Kendari, 2021)

4.1.3 Kambu District Population Data

The population of Kambu District in 2014 was recorded at 31,433 people.

The largest population is in Lalolara Village, namely 13,859 people, followed by

Kambu Village, Padaleu Village, and Mokoau Village with 9,400 people, 5,104
people and 3,070 people respectively. The population density per km² in Kambu

District is 1,276. The largest population density is in Lalolara Village, namely

2,974 people per square kilometer, while the lowest is in Mokoau Village, only

245 people per square kilometer (BPS Kendari, 2021)

4.1.4 Respondent profile

To obtain accurate results, the researcher provided a list of interview

statements to the informant. The number of research informants 10 parents who

live in Mokoau sub-district, Kendari city, each informant has a different job or

profession . To analyze informants In this case, aspects will first be explained in

the form of name, age, last education, occupation and marital status . The

following is the informant data that will be used in the research :

Table 4.1.4.1
Parental Characteristics
No. Respondent Age Last education Work Marital status
's Name
1 Mrs. TL 40 Years SENIOR Self- Marry
HIGH employed
SCHOOL
2 IR's mother 42 Years SENIOR Self- Marry
HIGH employed
SCHOOL
3 Mr HR 40 Years BACHELOR Pns Marry
4 IL's mother 49 Years BACHELOR IRT Marry
5 NI's mother 35 years old SENIOR Pns Marry
HIGH
SCHOOL
6 Mrs. MA 47 Years SENIOR Self- Marry
HIGH employed
SCHOOL
7 Mrs. NN 45 Years BACHELOR Self- Marry
employed
8 Mrs SS 37 Years SENIOR Trader Marry
HIGH
 SCHOOL
9 SI's mother 39 Years SENIOR Trader Marry
HIGH
SCHOOL
10 KT's 40 Years SENIOR IRT Marry
mother HIGH
SCHOOL
Source Data Study Year 2023

The table above shows data on the characteristics of parents who were

respondents in research on toxic parenting models for children. Toxic parenting is

a parenting style that has a negative impact on a child's physical and mental

development. This parenting style is often carried out by parents who are

generally harsh, immature, or have mental disorders . From this table, it can be

seen that all respondents are married parents and have children. The majority of

respondents were mothers aged between 35-49 years. The respondents' final

education level varied from high school to bachelor's degree.

Based on the results of the analysis, it is known that there are differences

between interpersonal communication and gender in interpersonal

communication. This difference can occur because according to Ernest (2010) that

gender can influence a person's interpersonal communication skills. Ernest found

that interpersonal communication was better than men. This is because when

communicating a message, men tend to talk about it by going straight to the point

of the problem. Meanwhile, women are more likely to provide information from

messages that are addressed in depth and in more detail. (Ernest, 2010).

Table 4.1.4.2 Child Characteristics

No. Child's Age Gender Health Status
Name
1 FK 11 years Man Having a Behavioral Disorder
 old
2 A.E 11 years Woman Healthy
old
3 NU 10 years Man Having a Behavioral Disorder
4 AP 11 years Man Having a Behavioral Disorder
old
5 RN 10 years Woman Having a Behavioral Disorder
6 R.K 12 years Man Healthy
old
7 AT 12 years Man Healthy
old
8 IT 10 years Woman Having a Behavioral Disorder
9 H.N 10 years Man Healthy
10 M.L 10 years Man Having a Behavioral Disorder
Source Data Study Year 2023

The table above shows data on child characteristics, which includes the

child's name, age, gender and health status. From this table, it can be seen that

there are 10 children with an average age of 10-12 years, consisting of 70% boys

and 30% girls. The health status of these children includes 6 children with the

status "Having Behavioral Disorders" and 4 children with the status "Healthy".

This table provides an overview of the health status and characteristics of the

children who were research subjects, especially in relation to the parenting style

they received. Children's character can be divided into several categories such as

moral, emotional, social and intellectual. Character formation in each of these

categories is very important for the child's development and future.

In the family environment, parents have an obligation to fulfill all needs,

including the more basic ones, such as the child's physical and biological needs

(Asah), emotional and affectional needs (asih), and the stimulation necessary for

learning and development (Asah ). The need to strengthen character in children

(Ratih et al , 2020). For children, the family functions as the first and most
important education. Good families strive to raise children with mature character,

behavior and mental development.

If this is applied to a child's growth and development, the child will grow

into a good person. Sulistyanto , et al (2023) the importance of fun learning and

mentoring for children. Parents are a key factor in children's mental development

and have a role in educating and modeling children with a positive attitude

( Filtri , 2017). In general, children are quite adept at imitating both the behavior

and language of the people around them. Children will investigate and research

the sources they hear and see in their daily lives ( Kriswati , 2022).

Table 4.1.5.3
Characteristics of Key Informants (Relatives/Neighbors)
No. Name of Key Work Length of Knowing the Initial
Informant Informant (years)
1 civil servants Teacher 5 years
2 Key informant 1 IRT 5 years
3 Key Person 1 Household assistant 7 years
Source Data Study Year 2023

Key informants in this research consisted of:

4.1.5.3.1 The teaching staff, namely a teacher in Kambu sub-district,

Mokoau Village, Kendari City, is very open in providing an in-

depth understanding of the Toxic Parenting Communication Model

and its impact on children, especially elementary school children.

4.2.5.3.1 The first key informant was a housewife, informant 1, and also a

household assistant. The selection of the first key informant was

based on recommendations from teaching staff in Kambu sub-

district, Mokoau Village, Kendari City, who had an in-depth

understanding of the ins and outs of the location, events in the

 Kambu area, and played a role as a teacher in an elementary

school. Apart from that, this informant was very open in providing

explanations during the interview process.

4.3.5.3.1 The key person, in this case, as a household assistant, becomes

important when there are problems related to the Toxic Parenting

Communication Model in Forming Children's Character (Study in

Mokoau Village, Kambu District, Kendari City). This way, the key

person will immediately obtain information regarding the problem

After the author conducted research, the initial step taken by the researcher

was to conduct interviews with informants regarding the research problem. Then

it was reinforced with documentation during the interview process with

informants, so the researcher obtained data related to the problem being

researched, regarding the Toxic Parenting Communication Model in Character

Formation. children in the city of Kendari, especially the Mokoau sub-district.

The results that will be described are data from interviews conducted by

researchers with parent informants who have children aged 10-12 years and are

currently in elementary school. The informants are also residents who have settled

in Mokoau sub-district. Kendari city. The following are the results of interviews

that researchers obtained from parent informants: in Kambu village, Kendari city:

Table 4.1.5.4 Findings of Toxic Parenting Communication Model Analysis

No Respondent Analysis Findings

1 Mrs. TL Excessive criticism of children's achievements.

 2 IR's mother Not Providing Firm Rules

3 Mr HR Providing Support to Pursue Dreams

4 IL's mother Open Communication and Dialogue

5 NI's mother Authoritarian in nature, inhibits children's involvement in decision

making (one-way communication)

6 Mrs. MA Indulging in bad things about children

7 Mrs. NN Determination of Career Choices by Parents

8 Mrs SS Ability to solve problems

9 SI's mother Casual Communication

10 KT's Strict Rules and Harsh Sanctions

mother
Note :
= Pola Asuh Otoriter
= Pola Asuh permisif
= Pola Asuh Demokratis

Toxic parenting communication is an unhealthy communication pattern

between parents and children where there is a tendency to use forms of physical or

psychological violence in educating children.

Based on the table above, it is known that the majority of respondents

(50%) tend to choose an authoritarian parenting style, which may reflect a

tendency to apply strict discipline and have high expectations for children. As

many as 30% of respondents chose a democratic parenting style, indicating that

there is a significant number of those who prioritize communication and child

participation in decision making. Permissive parenting, chosen by 20% of

respondents, shows that there is a small number of parents who prefer to give

children greater freedom.

 Children who have toxic parents can experience a variety of adverse

effects on their mental health. Children will be affected in ways such as closing

themselves off, losing self-confidence, becoming shy, angry, or afraid, struggling

to control their emotions, and struggling to socialize (Pratiwi, 2023). Children

may feel these effects in the short and long term, especially psychologically.

Children may suffer long-term trauma as a result. Children can experience trauma,

which disrupts various developmental processes that children their age should go

through. This trauma has the potential to affect his way of life in the future if left

untreated for a long time.

In Forwad's (2022) view, there are various forms of toxic parents,

including inadequate, domineering parents, alcoholic or drug addicts, and cruel

parents. Parents who use violence are divided into three categories: intimate

violence, physical violence, and psychological or verbal violence. Violence that is

communicated through words, such as insults, criticism and ridicule towards

children is known as psychological or verbal violence (Munyua & Disiye, 2020).

Meanwhile, physical violence is defined as violence that results in injuries to the

body such as impacts, fractures, burns, and other injuries that may occur during

medical treatment including pinching, hitting, pressing, and so on.

The majority of parents believe that psychological aggression is

commonplace. This statement can ultimately harm children's psychological well-

being without the speaker realizing it at the time of communication.

4.1.2 Toxic Parenting Communication Model

Toxic parenting communication model in the formation of children's

character in the city of Kendari. This model will explain the impact of toxic

parenting communication patterns on the formation of children's character in

every family in the city of Kendari. The toxic parenting communication referred

to in this research is authoritarian parenting, democratic parenting and permissive

parenting.

4.1.2.1 Authoritarian Parenting Style

The authoritarian parenting style referred to in this research is a

communication model that tends to demand obedience and discipline from

children without giving reasons or explanations. Authoritarian parents also often

criticize, punish, or hit children if they do not meet the expectations or rules set.

Children who grow up with this communication model usually become afraid,

passive, or aggressive.

Authoritarian parenting is also often carried out with coercion, firmness

and violence. Parents insist that their children follow all their instructions, and this

impacts the severity of punishments or sanctions. Children's psychological

development can be negatively influenced by authoritarian parenting. Children

often lack self-control and emotional regulation when dealing with other people.

Not even confident, independent, or creative (Syamsudin, 2017). This parenting

approach will cause trauma, depression and stress in children. As a result, it is not

advisable to parent in an authoritative manner. Children who have suppressed

emotions can experience depression. This is proven by the relationship between

authoritative parenting and mental-emotional development in children.

There are several types of authoritarian parenting patterns that are often

applied by several families and parents in the Mokoau sub-district, Kendari city,

namely as follows:

4.1.2.1.1 Firmness of rules (physical violence)

The firmness of the rules in this research is a parent's attitude or behavior

who try to shape their children into who they want them to be. Based on researcher

information which was shown to parent informants in Mokoau sub-district, as the

results of interviews obtained by Mrs. KT , a housewife Ladder _ _ _ _ _ ( 40

year) says that:

“I discipline my child by giving him rules that he must obey. For

example, he has to get up early, pray, study, do homework, can't play games,
can't leave the house without permission, and so on. I also give punishment if he
breaks the rules, such as being scolded, hit, or pinched (Informant 1: 2 October
2023)
Based on the results of interviews conducted together KT 's mother can be

explained that when a n a k n y a Already _ _ when he is angry , his child will

definitely obey what he says . KT's mother also said that her child is very active

every day, his character is tough so it is difficult to stop him or give him advice.

This parenting approach will cause trauma, depression and stress in children. As a

result, it is not advisable to parent in an authoritative manner. Children who have

suppressed emotions can experience depression.

The majority of parents use an authoritative parenting style, and children's

development follows the stages of their development, according to other research

on the relationship between parenting styles and the development of preschool-

age children, the results of which are significant and the results of univariate

analysis regarding parenting patterns (Prayitno et al, 2019). Buried emotions can

make children feel overwhelmed and stressed, which can result in physical

problems, such as stomach aches, mouth ulcers, or flu before exams, needing to

urinate because of anxiety, or stuttering when anxious.

After the interview process with the first respondent was complete, the

interview continued with the key informant, an elementary school civil servant

(teacher). he said that:

"Many parents are less aware of the actions and behavior they carry out.
Imbalances of power and lack of dialogue can lead to toxic parenting
communications. The role of the surrounding environment, including family
support, can play an important role in providing support and helping overcome
detrimental parenting communication patterns. "A child who experiences toxic
parenting is best given early counseling with both parents." (key informant 1)

According to the informant, a child who has experienced toxic parenting

tends to show rude attitudes and behavior when with his friends. Especially when

interacting at school. Apart from that, there are also children whose characteristics

or attitudes lack self-confidence, an inability to express themselves well, and

difficulty interacting socially can be the result of detrimental parenting

communication patterns. as a teacher, it is important to detect and provide support

to children who may be affected by the Toxic Parenting Communication Model.

Encourage open communication and build trust between teachers and students in

an effort to mitigate negative impacts. He also highlighted the need for the active

role of the school community in providing support in the form of counseling to

parents and their children regarding healthy parenting communication.

 This is also reinforced by previous research conducted by Andar

Gunawan, et al (2023) that counseling assistants have a significant role in helping

students overcome the negative impacts of toxic parenting they experience.

Through counseling assistance, students can get emotional support, understanding

of the situation, as well as practical guidance and suggestions for dealing with

problems caused by toxic parenting. This counseling companion also provides a

strong moral and spiritual foundation for children affected by toxic parenting,

helping to develop self-confidence and belief in themselves. Individual counseling

therapy, family therapy, support therapy, and social-emotional therapy can be

effective approaches in overcoming the impact of toxic parenting on students. It is

important for schools and related parties to pay more attention to the role of

counseling assistance in supporting the welfare of students who experience toxic

parenting.

4.1.2.1.2 Indulging in bad things about children

Indulging in bad things about children is what is meant in this research,

namely parents who often compare children, and parents who can traumatize

children. Results of interviews conducted with Mrs. MA ( 47 years old). say that :

"When you are outside the house or gather with neighbors near the
house, most of them are still from the family, if you gather in a group, if you
don't have anything to gossip about, the most things the children tell you is
that they are naughty at school or impudent at home. What's more, my son is
kapatuli, I told him that because I already trust them, there's no way they
want to go spread it" (Informant 2: 8 November 2023)

Based on the results of the interview above, it can be concluded that MA's

mother often talks about her child's bad things when she is with her friends and
neighbors.

Research conducted by M. Safardi Bugi et al, (2023) shows that talking

about and bringing up bad things about children. Maybe as parents we don't

realize that when we tell neighbors about children it can hurt their hearts. Just like

parents, children also have self-respect.

From the results of previous interviews, the researcher tried to find other

information with the key informant, namely a neighbor of the previous

informant, he said that:

"It has been her (Mrs. MA's) habit since the beginning that every time
there is a social gathering or gathering, she always brings information from
home, whether it is information about her child's rebellious habits or the
situation of her family. She (Mrs. MA and her husband) is quite a strict
parental character. , has strict rules at home,” (Key Informant 2: November 9
2023)

Based on the key informant's statement above, it can be concluded that

MA's child has long experienced toxic parenting from the family. The parenting

style he received had a negative impact on his circle of friends. Both at school

and around where he lives. The Key Informant also said that the real impact he

saw in Mrs. MA's child was that his character became very rude in speaking

impolite words.

The results of the interview are in line with research conducted by I Putu

Adi Saskara (2020) entitled The Role of Family Communication in Overcoming

"Toxic Parents" for Children's Mental Health. The results of this research prove

that toxic parents have a big influence on children's growth and development

and health. So parents must set real examples and avoid using words that are
not suitable for hearing or attitudes that are not suitable for their children to see.

Because whatever a child hears and sees is a stimulus that will be processed and

stored in his memory.

4.1.2.1.3 High expectations

The high expectations referred to in this research are parent informants

who always demand that their children always give the best performance while at

school. Based on data obtained by the researcher in the field with the informant

Mrs. TL (40 years old), he said that:

"I'm not happy if my child doesn't get 1st place in his school, I've
given my best for his educational needs so he also has to give the best
results. He once won second place, at that time his school implemented an
online system, the children at home were too busy playing and relaxing
and ended up being too lazy to study. In the end, after the exam is carried
out, they may be overwhelmed, plus the duration given during the exam is
very limited. When I received the report card, I was very disappointed and
gave him a punishment by holding his cellphone and not leaving the
house. I do this so that he can study more actively." (informant 3: 8
November 2023)
Based on the results of interviews with TL's mother, yes, emphasized her

child to achieve even more. High expectations for children can make children feel

depressed, which can affect children's psychology. From Mrs. TL's statement, it

was explained that this hope could raise her child's motivation to learn. So that in

the future he will be the best of his friends at school. He also said that his son was

shy and didn't socialize much with his peers.

The results of previous research conducted by Adhenda M (2022) say that

parents sometimes forget that their children have the right to choose their own

choices by always assuming that the children are still small. Strict parents are
usually characterized by excessive involvement in every aspect of their child's life.

Parents will become very demanding or authoritarian, even always dictating who

the child should and should not hang out with. The biggest impact of toxic

parenting is that parents often impose their will and give their standards to their

children. If the child is unable to fulfill it, the parents do not hesitate to corner or

even "scapegoat" the child as the party who directs the family or disappoints the

parents.

4.1.2.1.4 One way communication

In this research, what is meant by one-way communication is a

communication pattern in which parents do not give their children the opportunity

to speak. Here the child is only a listener. Based on information that researchers

obtained from Mrs. NI (35 years old), she said that:

"Children must be listeners as long as they are not yet adults and
cannot determine their own path in life. I believe that my role here is very
big for my children to determine their own future. So while they are still
children, that's the biggest time for me to give them direction. In this case,
firmness is needed to respect the authority that I have established. This
makes me tend to decide everything without involving them in decision
making." (Informant 4: 08 November 2023)

Based on the statement above , NI mothers have a more assertive role

towards their children. Yes, it has the principle that as long as children are not yet

adults and cannot make their own choices, parents are obliged and must be firm

with their children. Children just have to listen to whatever their parents say.

Without putting up any resistance.

 The results of the interviews and observations above, are in accordance

with the results of previous research conducted by M Safardi (2023) which states

that children who experience toxic parents can feel mentally traumatized because

the parents' parenting patterns always force their children to follow their wishes,

therefore children with submissive behavior will try hard to make their parents

happy, then children with rebellious personalities will rebel against their parents.

This feeling largely comes from the fact that children of toxic parents blame

themselves for their parents' abusive treatment.

The researchers also found interview results related to one-way

communication. Together with informant Mrs. NN (45 years) he said that:

"When his child has entered college, he has prepared all his needs and
what major he will pursue. I have thought about his future path in life, because I
believe my choice is the best path for him to be successful in the future."
(Informant 5: 9 November 2023)
Based on _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ According to Mrs. NN 's statement above, the

rules and all decisions rest with the parents . This is done so that the child's future

will be better, without thinking about whether the child agrees or not with the decision.

According to Forward (2002), toxic parenting will make it very difficult for a child to

build a healthy self-image once they grow up. Therefore, a lack of self-confidence and

undeveloped self-esteem in the future will affect their condition, mentality and

developmental aspects of life. Children raised by toxic parents will have negative

memories and life experiences.

4.1.2.2 Democratic Parenting Style

Democratic parenting in this research is communication carried out by

parents to their children by providing the greatest support to their children. The

nature of providing open communication to children and providing rights. The

following are the results of interviews with several informants:

4.1.2.2.1 Providing support

The researchers obtained support from parents for their children when

conducting interviews with the informant Mr. HR ( 40 years), he said that:

"Every day I try to support the interests and talents that my children
have. Because I see that my children have great potential. I tell them that they
can feel free, the important thing is within reasonable limits. Always maintain a
sense of trust parents and don't disappoint because the trust given has the
freedom to explore various activities and I always try to provide full support.
This helps them feel appreciated and encouraged to develop their potential."
(Informant 6: 11 November 2023).

Based on the results of interviews with parents (Mr. HR), he said that he

implemented ways of educating children with open thinking, always giving great

attention and support to their children, and always trying to maintain good

communication and being responsive to their emotional needs. Not only providing

emotional support, but also empowering. their children in solving problems. This

approach creates a family environment that supports and motivates children to

become the best versions of themselves.

This type of parenting describes a warm and inclusive family environment.

With the emotional support provided by the family, Mr HR not only focuses on

listening, but also on providing joint solutions when the children face challenges.

This approach fosters a sense of self-confidence and independence in children. In

addition, Mr. HR is active in supporting each child's unique interests and talents,

giving them the freedom to explore and develop.

 4.1.2.2.2 Open communication

Open communication in this research is democratic parenting which

promotes balanced involvement between parents and children. The following are

the results of an interview with Mrs. IL (39 years), she said:

“ When my children make mistakes, we as a family always get together

and talk together about the consequences. We try to work together to
establish fair rules and punishments without harming anyone, both the
children and us as their parents. I believe in a joint dialogue approach
that can give them (children) the opportunity to understand the impact of
their actions." (Informant 7: 10 November 2023)

In the interview above, IL's mother applies a democratic parenting style by

taking an open approach. This can be done on the basis of building trust between

children and parents. IL's mother also said that in the decision-making process,

IL's mother always tried to involve her children in active participation. When

facing a problem related to children's mistakes, discipline is carried out through

dialogue and mutual understanding of the consequences of their actions, while

punishment is applied after joint discussion. Open communication provides a

strong foundation, creating an environment where every member of the family

feels comfortable.

The impact of open communication is also proven by Hutabarat (2022)

explaining that family language functions as the main domain in which children

acquire vocabulary, emphasizing critical things. Establishing effective

communication and fostering openness among family members can also foster

trust and comfort within the family to mitigate potential gaps that may arise.

Additionally, it is important for family members to follow ethical communication,

such as utilizing gentle and appropriate language when conveying intended

meaning to one another (Hutabarat, 2022)

4.1.2.2.3 Providing autonomy

Providing autonomy in this research is a situation where parents give

responsibility to their children, to determine their own hobbies, experiences and

actions as long as they remain within reasonable limits. Based on the results of the

interview that the researcher obtained with Mrs. SI (39 years), she said that:

“I give them the freedom to explore whatever they like, as long as it is

within reasonable limits. I also hope that my children grow up independent and
can instill a sense of responsibility in themselves. (Informant 8:13 November
2023)

The results of this interview show that SI's mother applies a democratic

parenting style by giving her children autonomy in decision making, providing

space for dialogue, and giving rewards based on their efforts. Providing this

autonomy not only strengthens children's involvement in family life, but also

supports the development of their independence and decision-making abilities.

4.1.2.3 Permissive Parenting Style

In research, what is meant by permissive parenting is a parenting style that

provides great freedom from parents towards their children. Parents who adopt

this parenting style usually do not set clear limits for their child's behavior. The

following are types of permissive parenting:

4.1.2.3.1 Low ability to solve problems

 Based on observation data, researchers found several permissive parenting

patterns implemented by one parent in the Mokoau sub-district, Kendari city. The

following are the results of an interview with IR's mother (42 years old), she said

that:

“When my child can't solve the problem, he will keep asking until he
can and then stop asking. Yes, I will finish asking until the problem is resolved.
We seek mutual understanding and try to find fair solutions. I believe that
involving children in this process can form responsibility and independence"
(Informant 9: 14 November 2023"

Based on the results of interviews and observations, it can be concluded

that parents (Mrs. IR) use permissive parenting patterns in educating their

children. The real impact of this permissive parenting style is that children will

become spoiled and dependent on their parents.

4.1.2.3.2 Does not provide strict rules

The results of interviews with several informants, namely the parents of

Mrs. SS (39 years), said that:

My child prefers to spend his time at home, so I don't worry too much
and only watch him at home for a while and because his child doesn't like to
behave in different ways and I also don't give standard rules at home for him to
play. As long as he has taken a nap and eaten, because my child is a child who
falls asleep very easily, especially when playing with gadgets. I am one of
those parents who really supports the growth and development of children, if
my child does positive and useful activities I give him praise and sometimes
also gifts. However, I also still act fairly if he makes a mistake so I give him
direction but not with force because I believe that as children they should be
given the freedom to explore themselves (Informant 10: 15 November 2023)

Based on the results of interviews and observations, it can be concluded

that Mrs. SS's parents use a permissive parenting style in educating their children.
This opinion is strengthened by expert theory, namely: According to Hurlock,

Hardy & Heyes, "The main characteristic of this Permissive parenting style is that

parents give freedom full of children and parental control and attention to what is

happening is very lacking." So parents let whatever their children do. Based on

the results of the interview that the researcher has explained above, the goal to be

achieved from parenting patterns in developing early childhood independence is

to change children's behavior so that children become independent, not dependent

on parents and other people.

5 DISCUSSION

As explained in Chapter I, the aim of the research is to find out the

parenting model that develops and influences the child's character and what

factors cause toxic parenting to occur in children. Thus, in Chapter IV, the author

analyzes the data using the method used, namely the qualitative descriptive

analysis method.

The case facts in this research will only explore the impact of the toxic

parenting communication model on the character formation of children in the

Mokoau subdistrict. The focus of this research is the parenting style: Authoritarian

style (high control and tends to be authoritarian), democratic (positive control and

providing guidance) and permissive parenting style (giving freedom without much

supervision).

4.2.1 Toxic Parenting Communication Model in Forming Children's

Character in Kendari City

 The toxic parenting communication model referred to in this research is

the parenting communication model applied by parents and is related to the

formation of their children's character. especially in the Mokoau sub-district,

Kendari city.

According to Forward (2002), toxic parenting will make it very difficult

for a child to build a healthy self-image once they grow up. Because of this, a lack

of self-confidence and self-esteem develops, which can affect all aspects of their

life development. Children raised by toxic parents will have negative memories

and experiences. We are all aware that no family is perfect, and this research

shows that some "violence" in family relationships. Usually this level is accepted

in all cultures and circles (Barnett et al., 2011).

The results of interviews with informants found that Toxic Parents itself is

a wrong/wrong parenting pattern which is more directed to how parents treat and

educate their children with poor parenting patterns. According to (Dunham &

Dermer) explain that "As children of poisonous parents develop and experience

damage to their emotional connection to parents, a multigenerational legacy of

poison is created" which means that even though having toxic parents can damage

relationships and mental health children, it can also cause the behavior to be

passed on from one generation to the next

According to Diana Baumrind (in Papalia, 2023) parenting styles are

divided into three groups, namely authoritarian (authoritarian), authoritative

(authoritative) and permissive (permissive).

 4.2.1.1 Democratic parenting style means parents with this parenting style have

positive control and provide guidance to their children

4.2.1.2 Authoritarian parenting style means parents with this parenting style

have high control and tend to be authoritarian. They set strict rules and

expect absolute obedience from children.

4.2.1.3 Permissive parenting style: Parents with this parenting style tend to give

great freedom to their children without much supervision or control.

4.2.2 Authoritarian Parenting Style

The authoritarian parenting style in this research is Parents with their

parenting style have high control and tend to be authoritarian . Authoritarian

parents tend to have no emotional involvement with their children. Children raised

in authoritarian parenting tend to be obedient and quiet,

Based on the results of research conducted by Rina Harahap (2023), it was

concluded that the majority of parents choose to apply toxic parenting to raise

their children. Authoritarian parenting can make children mentally more

temperamental. This parenting style also often makes children feel restricted,

insecure, anxious, and emotionally prefer to remain silent. Moreover, this

parenting style has had a negative impact on the family and affected the child's

growth and development process.

The results of observations made by researchers based on interviews with

informants found that 5 out of 10 informants chose to apply an authoritarian

parenting style with the aim of their children becoming more disciplined and

respecting every decision made by their parents.

 The observation data above is strengthened by previous research

conducted by Febrianti, F., & Subroto, U. (2023). that there is a relationship

between parenting styles and interpersonal communication with Authoritarian,

Authoritative and Permissive parenting styles. The results of this research also

state that parenting style has a significant relationship to interpersonal

communication, meaning that if adolescents have the most dominant authoritative

parenting style, the higher their interpersonal communication will be. On the other

hand, if permissive parenting is the most dominant, the lower the interpersonal

communication will be. Apart from that, children who are raised with an

authoritative parenting style are considered to have good communication training

which has an impact on good interpersonal communication skills. High

communication skills make it possible to establish good relationships with friends

and family because one of the tasks of adolescent development is to build

relationships with peers and have emotional independence that is obtained from

parents and other people (Sarwono in Rizal, 2023).

4.2.3 Democratic Parenting Style

Democratic parenting in this research is a parenting style applied by

parents whose parenting style has positive control and provides guidance. This

parenting style is characterized by parental involvement in their children's lives.

Based on the research results, researchers found that 3 out of 10 parent

respondents in the Mokoau subdistrict, Kendari city, implemented a democratic

parenting style. This is done to help shape the character of their children so that

they tend to be more independent and have good relationships with their friends,
easily manage their problems, be more open to learning new things, and respect

their parents more.

Based on research by Aljibra (2023) , it explains that democratic parents

expect final responsibility to lie in the child's activities but within rational limits ,

such as values regarding one's own autonomy and disciplined behavior that

parents expect.

4.2.4 Permissive Parenting Style

The permissive parenting pattern in this research is a parenting pattern that

is often applied and provides excessive freedom. The research results showed that

2 out of 10 parent respondents chose to apply this parenting style to their children.

The goal of permissive parenting is to give children the freedom to do

whatever they want. As a result, parents will pay less attention to their child's

growth and development. Children usually receive care in official institutions or

schools. Because of parents' tendency to pamper their children with expensive

things, this parenting style can make them selfish. This selfishness will hinder

children's interactions with other individuals (Astuti Jannah, 2012). This type of

parenting will produce children who lack self-control and social skills.

According to researchers, parents who apply a permissive parenting style

completely allow their children to do anything without supervision or control

from them, and they also comply with their requests. Therefore, children tend to

be rebellious, low self-esteem, low achievers, and irresponsible. Children who are

raised with this kind of upbringing lack the ability to compete outside, especially

in terms of achievement.
 Based on research conducted by Fanny Febrianti (2023), if permissive

parenting is the most dominant, the lower the interpersonal communication will

be. High communication skills make it possible to establish good relationships

with friends and family because one of the tasks of adolescent development is to

build relationships with peers and have emotional independence that is obtained

from parents and other people.

4.2.5 Factors Causing Toxic Parenting of Children in Mokoau Village

In parenting patterns, there are many factors that influence and become the

background for parents in implementing parenting patterns for their children, this

could be due to family demands, environmental factors or other factors (Fitri,

2015)

Based on the results of researchers' observations of several parent informants in

the Kambu sub-district, Kendari City, it can be concluded that behind the behavior of

Toxic Parents, there are several factors that cause toxic parenting to develop

children's character in Kendari City, namely:

4.2.5.1 Environmental factor

The social environment of parents in the past caused parenting patterns

and parents' expectations for each child to be different. Their environment is what

shapes their parenting style which is not good too, this is like what happens in the

field, parents demand that their children be who they want to be because they look

at the surrounding environment and then compare their own children

continuously, which affects their self-confidence. child. The environment in the

past also shapes the character of parents in raising their children, usually this toxic
parenting style is carried over from how parents were treated in the past and in

fact they have difficulty resisting this bad behavior. Sometimes they do (Fikri,

2017)

4.2.5.2 Economic factors

Economic factors also influence how harmonious a family is, economic

demands force them to continue working harder, causing the risk of stress, which

also has an impact on parents' behavior in caring for and treating their children,

this incident often occurs where parents always bring up and blame their children.

in financial matters and young people often receive inappropriate words from

their parents, such as degrading words, comparing their children's work

achievements which cannot contribute to improving the family economy, and

having expectations that their children must be able to improve the economy.

family, this certainly makes young people feel low self-esteem and find it difficult

to focus on achieving their own dreams (Fikri, 2017)

4.2.5.3 Level of education

Parents who have a high level of education have different parenting

patterns from parents who only have a low level of education. The importance of

adequate education and social support can not only prevent the implementation of

toxic parenting communication, but also open up opportunities to adopt healthier

parenting patterns. Awareness of negative impacts, understanding child

development, and knowledge about alternatives to children's education are the

keys to creating a family environment that supports children's positive growth

(Manurung, 1995)
 4.2.5.4 Lack of Social Support

The inability to obtain social support from family or community can make

parents more vulnerable to potentially harmful parenting practices

4.2.5.5 Stress and Life Pressure

Parents who experience high stress or life pressure, whether due to work,

financial problems, or family conflicts, may tend to express frustration through

unhealthy parenting patterns.

Soekanto generally stated that there are two factors that influence a

person's upbringing, namely external factors and internal factors." External factors

are the social environment and physical environment as well as the parents' work

environment, while internal factors are the parenting pattern models that have

been obtained previously. Further discussion of the factors that influence parental

parenting patterns are:

4.2.5.5.1The social and physical environment of the place where the family

lives. The parenting pattern of a family is also influenced by the

place where the family lives. If a family lives in an environment

where the population has low education and low levels of politeness,

then children can easily become affected.

4.2.5.5.2Models of parenting patterns received by previous parents. Most

parents apply parenting patterns to their children based on the

parenting patterns they received previously. This is strengthened if

they see that the parenting style they have received is seen as

successful.
 4.2.5.5.3Parents' work environment Parents who are too busy working tend to

hand over the care of their children to those closest to them or even

to baby sitters. Therefore, the parenting pattern received by the child

is also in accordance with the person who is caring for the child.

From the description above, it can be seen that the factors that influence

parents' parenting patterns are things that are internal (originating within oneself)

and external (originating from outside). This determines parenting patterns for

children to achieve goals in accordance with applicable norms.

 CHAPTER V

CONCLUSIONS AND RECOMMENDATIONS

5.1 Conclusion

Based on the results of this research, the researcher can draw the

conclusion that

5.1.1

5.2 Suggestions

Based on the research conclusions, the following are recommended:

5.2.1 If so

So that

So that

Thereby

5.2.2 if so