DATING APPS

Hi, my name is Ira. I am a final semester student at one

of the universities in Bandung. I live in an apartment that
my father bought for me when I turned 17. Although I
was born into a well-off family, I always feel lonely.

My parents divorced when I was 3 years old, and my

birth was the cause of their divorce. They wanted to
pursue their careers, but I was seen as a hindrance to their
careers. Eventually, I lived with my grandmother until I
was 17.

Living alone is indeed enjoyable, being able to do

whatever we want, go wherever we want without waiting
for anyone else. But you should know, it feels lonely in
the midst of crowds. I've always envied people who have
siblings, friends, parents. I can't even make friends
because I was betrayed by a friend I trusted the most. It
turns out she was only friends with me for money. The
world is crazy indeed.
Today is the schedule for my thesis guidance. I'm getting
ready to go to campus. I apply a thin layer of makeup to
my face, then choose the outfit I'll wear. Once everything
is ready, I head out. I drive my car fast because I'm
running a bit late. Luckily, the road isn't too crowded at
that time.

Upon arriving at the campus, I park my car and head

straight to the cafeteria because my thesis advisor said he
wants to have coffee. I check the time, darn, I'm 20
minutes late. I head to the cafeteria with a bit of a run
because I'm afraid of getting scolded. With heavy
breaths, I approach a table in the middle of the room with
4 chairs. 2 chairs are already occupied, and 2 are still
empty. My thesis advisor and a fellow faculty member
who also has a guidance schedule today are sitting there.

"Hello, sorry I'm late, sir," I greet while catching my

breath.
"Hi, it's okay, take it easy, just have a seat. If you want to
order food, go ahead, I'll settle Sean's first, then yours,"
my advisor responds.

"Oh, okay, sir," I choose the chair facing Sean and sit
down, waiting for my turn to order.

Long story short, I have finished my guidance session.

"So, what are your plans after graduation?" suddenly my

advisor asks the two of us.

"I'm going to take over my father's company, sir, because

I enjoy business and I'm the sole heir, so I have to
continue my father's business whether I like it or not,"
Sean quickly responds.
"Great, how about you, Ira?"

"Um, maybe I want to start my own business."

"Not getting married?" I'm slightly surprised by the

question; I didn't expect a very professional-looking
advisor like him to ask that.

"Oh, don't misunderstand. I'm asking because I care. Out

there, many women plan to get married after graduating
from college. But many of them fail in their marriages
because they marry the wrong person. The worst part is,
some of my former students even marry men they meet
on Dating Apps. Only knowing each other for a month,
they immediately get married. And you know what
happened next? The husband cheated on her. Despite
having a high education, she decided to marry a stranger
from an app," my advisor looks annoyed and a bit angry.
Does my advisor like the female student he mentioned?
Who knows, it's not my business.

I get ready to go home. On the way to the parking lot, I

meet Kayla, a senior student.

"Hey Ira!" Kayla calls out a little loudly. I turn around

and stop.

"Hey, I want to ask, do you have Professor Richard's

textbook? I've been looking for it in bookstores, but it's
sold out. If you have it, can I borrow it until I get my
own?"

"I think I have it. I'll bring it tomorrow," we're in the

middle of our conversation when Kayla's phone rings.
"Oh my god! He's calling, oh my god," Kayla looks
excited and enthusiastic seeing someone's name on her
phone.

"Who's that, Kay?"

"Um, it's this guy I met on a Dating App. You should try
it, it's called Bible. It's good for chatting when you're
bored, especially since everyone's busy. Oh, I have to go
now, bye!" Kayla leaves while answering her phone.
Dating Apps? Seems like everyone's using Dating Apps
nowadays, even my advisor mentioned it.

Before going home, I stop by the supermarket to buy

some groceries. After finishing shopping, I head straight
to my apartment. I park my car in the usual spot and take
the elevator. I press the 12th floor and close the door.
"Wait, miss, don't close it yet," I hear a voice from
outside the elevator. Spontaneously, I reopen the elevator
door. Two young women about my age hurry into the
elevator.

"Thank you, miss."

"No problem," I reply softly.

The elevator door closes again.

"Hey, this one looks good, huh. Swipe right, right?" one
of the women breaks the silence.

"Yeah, swipe right, no need to think, just go for it!" her

friend responds. What are they talking about?
"Seriously, ever since I started using Bible, I've never
been bored. I'm busy replying to all the messages that
come in,"

"Yeah, and there's someone asking me out every day. So

I never go out alone anymore. Aren't you getting tired of
going out with me all the time?"

"Ugh, be careful, you might end up missing going out

with me."

I overhear their conversation until they get off on the 8th

floor. Bible? Didn't Kayla mention that earlier?

Ding! The elevator stops on the 15th floor. I immediately

get off and head to my apartment. Upon reaching the
apartment, I put away all the groceries in the living room,
throw myself onto the sofa near the window. It's really
hot today. My body is covered in sweat. I intend to lie
down for a moment before tidying up the groceries. But
suddenly, I think of the Dating Apps that have been
filling my ears all day. Am I interested? It seems like it. I
grab my phone and search for Bible. I read the
description and how it works. I'm getting more interested.
Finally, I decide to install Bible. After it's installed, I'm
directed to create an account, upload a photo, fill out my
bio, and describe myself. After creating an account, I'm
guided through a tutorial. The way it works is simple,
just swipe right if you like, swipe left if you don't. Then
if there's a mutual like, there will be a match notification.
After a match, we can chat on the app. I swipe through a
few people until finally, a match notification appears.
This is the first person who matched with me. His name
is Febian. I immediately open the notification, and there's
a command to make the first move. I pause for a moment,
thinking about what to say.

"Hi!" I finally say in a formal tone.

"Hi Ira, nice to meet you. I noticed that the distance
between you and me isn't too far, where do you live?"
Soon, Febian replied to my message. Indeed, in the app,
we were given information about the distance between us
and the person we were interacting with. My distance
from Febian was only 500m. Very close.

"I'm in Greenfield apartment, where are you?" I replied.

"Oh really? I'm in Pavilion." Febian and I chatted for

hours. Time flew by, and it was already 7 PM. I hadn't
put away my things or cleaned up.

"Hey, I need to go now, I want to tidy up my stuff first,

let's continue later," I said, excusing myself.

"Oh, okay, but before that, can I have your number? It's
fun chatting with you," Febian asked. I was a bit hesitant
about Febian's request, but eventually, I gave him my
number.

After I gave him my number, I immediately closed my

phone and put away the groceries before taking a shower.

After everything was done, I opened my laptop intending

to work on the revisions for the thesis that had just been
given earlier in the afternoon. Suddenly, my phone
beeped, indicating a new message.

"Saved, Febian," without realizing it, I smiled at Febian's

message. I immediately opened his message and replied.

"Yes." Instead of working on revisions, I ended up

chatting with Febian until midnight. Febian was fun;
whatever I said, he understood. I was glad to have a new
chat friend. I started to become interested in Febian. At
11:30 PM, I started to feel sleepy.
"I'm going to bed now, feeling sleepy."

"Oh, okay, do you want me to accompany you? We can

sleep call. I'm alone in the apartment too." Without
hesitation, I accepted Febian's invitation. That night was
the first night I slept called with Febian. The following
nights, Febian and I always did the same thing, until it
became a habit. We always slept called every night.

Before I knew it, Febian and I had been acquainted for a

month. Febian and I had told each other a lot, about
school, family, hobbies, and daily routines. I was really
interested in Febian. Until one day, Febian invited me to
meet, and I agreed. Febian invited me to tour around
Lembang. He said he wanted something cool.

The next day, I woke up early and got ready to meet

Febian. After I was ready, I went down to the lobby and
waited for Febian. Not long after, my phone rang, yes,
who else but Febian.

"Hello, I'm in front of the lobby, the car is a red Mazda,

right?" Hearing that, I immediately got up from my seat
and went to find the car he meant.

"Oh yes, I'm wearing black."

"Yes, beautiful, I saw when you answered the phone."

Febian said with a soft seductive tone. I blushed upon
hearing it. Febian got out of his car and approached me.

"Hi beautiful, ready?" Febian asked, offering his hand to

me. I smiled seeing the tall white man in front of me.

"I'm ready." I replied shortly.

"Okay, let's go." Febian walked towards his car and
opened the front passenger door for me. I got in
immediately, followed by Febian who got in and sat in
the driver's seat. Febian and I immediately headed to
several places to play in Lembang and played all day.

At 8 PM, we were finally satisfied with our activities.

Febian and I decided to go home. On the way home, I
was mostly silent due to fatigue.

"Tired, Ra?"

"Hehe, yeah, it was so much fun. Thank you. I'll pay you
back later."

"What do you mean pay back? There's no need, I invited

you, so I should take responsibility."
"Okay, I'll pay you back later. Thank you very much."

"You're welcome, beautiful." It was quiet for a moment,

Febian looked at me intently after his last words. The
road that night was a bit crowded, so Febian wasn't too
busy looking at the road.

"Why?" I asked softly.

"You're so beautiful." Febian said, stroking my head. I

could feel my face heating up. I was sure my face was
red now.

"Thank you." I replied, smiling.

"Let's make a quick stop before going home."

"Where to?"

"You'll see later, you'll definitely like it. I'll make you
happy tonight." I was curious about where Febian would
take me. But I felt happy because I thought Febian would
give me a surprise.

Febian entered a hotel basement and parked his car.

Febian immediately got out and opened the car door for
me.

"Let's go down." Febian said. I got out of the car. Febian

took my hand and led me to the hotel lobby.

"You wait here, sit down." Febian said, this time

sounding like an order. I started to feel uncomfortable.
Febian went straight to the hotel reception. Soon, Febian
returned to me.

"Let's go." Febian said while holding my hand again.

This time a little rough. Febian pulled my hand while
walking towards the elevator. Febian took me to a hotel
room.

Arriving at a room, Febian opened the door without

delay. Inside was a bottle of wine, 2 wine glasses on the
table neatly arranged facing the window with a view of
the city lights of Bandung, romantic. The bed was
already sprinkled with red rose petals and towel
decorations shaped like swans.

"Surprise! Do you like it?" Febian said.

"I love it, you're so romantic." I replied with a smile.

"Okay, let's sit." Febian pulled out a chair for me to sit
on, followed by Febian sitting in front of me. Febian
opened the wine bottle and poured the wine into the
prepared glasses. I had never drunk alcohol before, but I
would try it now.

"Cheers." Febian invited me to drink.

"Cheers." I replied and drank immediately. Febian and I

fell silent for a moment, staring at each other.

"Why did you think of doing this?" I asked.

"Because I like you. I booked this a week before we met.

I asked for a room with the best view of Bandung." I
looked out the window. I was captivated by the view of
Bandung city in front of me. It was beautiful.
"Drink again, Ra." Febian and I continued to drink wine
while chatting. Before we knew it, we had finished a
bottle of wine. My body started to feel hot, my head was
slightly dizzy. I knew this was the effect of the wine, plus
I had never drunk alcohol before. So I would easily get
drunk. But there was a strange sensation that I felt. My
body felt tingling.

"Why, Ra?" Febian asked softly.

"It's okay, I've never drunk before, so I think the effect is

making me dizzy."

"Oh, why didn't you say so? Knowing you've never

drunk, I ordered a non-alcoholic drink, let me help you
lie down on the bed."
Febian helped me lie down on the bed. He carried me and
placed my body on the bed. My vision was a bit blurry,
and I chose to close my eyes. But I could feel Febian
locking my hands with one of his and placing them above
my head. His other hand caressed my head.

"I like your body, Ra," Febian whispered right next to my

ear. Hearing that, I understood what Febian was going to
do. I opened my eyes in shock. I tried to resist, but my
strength was no match for Febian's. Plus, I was
intoxicated while Febian was still fresh.

"Let me go, Feb! LET GO!" I shouted with whatever

strength I had left.

"Sshh, calm down, darling. I promised, I'll make you

happy until you're floating tonight, okay? Just stay still."
I struggled with what little strength I had left. But it only
made it easier for Febian to remove my clothes. I was
really dizzy and weak. I couldn't resist anymore, and that
night, Febian raped me.

The next morning, I woke up in the hotel without a single

piece of clothing, with someone's arm wrapped around
my waist. I was shocked and got up from the bed,
covering my body with a blanket. Febian, who was also
surprised, woke up.

"Hey love, good morning," Febian said with a cunning

smile. I, still feeling a little dizzy, forced myself to get up
from the bed. I grabbed all my clothes and headed to the
bathroom.

"Hey, where are you going, honey?" Febian got up and

stopped me from going to the bathroom. He grabbed my
body and stopped me in my tracks.

"Let go! I hate you! I'll report you to the police!"

"Oh really? On what grounds? Consensual relations? I
have the video, and you seemed to enjoy it here." Febian
said, showing me the video of us from last night. Febian
was right, I seemed to enjoy it. What was wrong with
me? I clearly refused, but in the middle of the game, I
ended up enjoying it.

"Curious why you agreed last night too? I put an

aphrodisiac in your drink when you were distracted." I
remembered when I was mesmerized by the scenery
outside. I didn't pay attention to my drink at all. Sly!
Absolutely sly! At that moment, I really hated Febian.

"Let me go!"

"Darling, don't be in a hurry. Let's play again, okay? I

know you still want it." Febian said as he turned me over
and threw me back onto the bed. Febian pinned me down
and started raping me again. I was completely helpless
and unable to resist. Febian's tall and larger body
compared to mine made it impossible for me to fight
back.

After satisfying himself, Febian got up and went to the

bathroom. I was still silent on the bed. I cried while
biting my fingers. Why was the world so cruel? What
was my sin that I deserved all this punishment?

"Hurry up, get up, shower, we're going home," Febian

startled me. I got up from the bed and went to the
bathroom. I showered and got ready to go home.

On the way home, I was completely silent. Febian

seemed to intend to strike up a conversation with me.
Silence dominated us both until we arrived in front of my
apartment. Febian stopped his car in front of the
apartment lobby. I got out of the car. As I was about to
get out of the car, Febian grabbed my hand and hugged
me.

"I'm sorry, Ra. I didn't mean to do that. I'll take

responsibility. Tomorrow, I'll meet your family, and I'll
also introduce you to my family." I let go of Febian's hug
and pushed his body slightly. I firmly replied.

"No need. I can handle everything myself. If I'm

pregnant, I'll take care of this child alone. Don't contact
me again. I don't want to see you anymore. We're done
here." I got out of Febian's car and quickly walked into
the lobby. I heard Febian calling my name several times,
but he was prevented from entering by the security guard.

Since then, I've been isolating myself. Avoiding

interaction with people. Sure enough, a month after that
incident, I was found to be pregnant. I didn't tell anyone,
not even my family. What do I care about them? I faced
everything alone.

I finished my thesis quickly. I defended it while six

months pregnant. People looked at me with disgust. I
didn't care. They didn't help me when I asked for it
anyway. I celebrated my graduation alone. Now, after
graduation, I started my own business.