We are losing the art of listening.

Sometimes paying attention in silence is more valuable than any words because
listening is an art and it means dedicating your quality time to another person so that when
he tells you something you can refute his words properly, or do you think it is right that
we do not pay attention to him? "You cannot communicate if you have not listened first
and you cannot do good reporting without knowing how to listen", explained Pope Francis
in his message on the 56th World Communications Day on the feast of St. Francis de
Sales. Stephen Covey, in his classic "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" tells us
that "We devote most of our waking hours to communication... We spend years learning
to read and write, learning to speak. But what training or education enables us to listen in
such a way that we truly and deeply understand another human being in terms of their
frame of reference?" In addition, one of the topics highlighted in the Second International
Psychology Seminar of the Continental University was the one presented by psychologist
Luis Perez, who claimed that, to avoid divorce, a relationship must be based on the ability
to communicate, and that even though nowadays there are more means available to do so,
50% get divorced basically because they do not meet this condition. Therefore, the art of
listening should be promoted more, to help us understand others.

Listening is experiencing an important development in the field of communication

and information, with the diversity of these such as podcasts, audiobooks, and more,
confirming that hearing is still essential for human communication. We all have ears, but
many times even people with perfect hearing cannot hear each other. There is an internal
deafness that is worse than external deafness, what is meant by this is that they do not
even consider the voice of the subconscious when doing anything, and if the person does
not listen to his self-much less listen to others. Refusing to listen often ends up being an
attack on the other person, since it is a total ignorance of this act. This is a very effective
reality and only by paying attention to who, what, and how we listen can we grow in the
art of communication, whose center is not theory or technique, but the internal capacities
that make reaching out possible.

According to Covey, when someone speaks, we listen from one of these levels.
We can ignore him or her, not listen to our interlocutor at all, of whom we spoke earlier.
Pretending to listen, while saying: "Yes... I see... Right" but in reality, not even the
minimal intention to listen is given, and not only this, here also applies to interrupting the
person, since most people usually have little knowledge of how often and badly they
interrupt others, convinced that they have to say something more important than what the
speaker is explaining. We can practice selective listening, paying attention only to certain
parts of the conversation, which is the most common. Finally, we can provide attentive
listening, focusing all our energy on the words that are pronounced, this fourth level is
the highest form of listening and represents an exercise of total empathy, we listen with
the intention of understanding and should be the correct way to always be occupied.

On the other hand, according to studies conducted by a religious academy, they

state that "Divorce is not in the statutes of the Bible, the person you marry will be your
spouse until death, you just have to ask God for advice if at some point there are conflicts".
However, this same Bible tells us in Matthew 18:15-16 requires open and honest
communication to deal with hurts and frustrations caused by sin. Knowing how to discuss
problems requires knowing how to listen and we already know that the number one
problem couples cite as a reason for divorce is poor communication, which implies not
being able to listen to each other properly. Many times, the options couples take is to
pretend the problem does not exist when the best alternative should be to look for
solutions together and to talk and listen about the other person's feelings. In the end, we
must remember that "the eyes of the Lord are toward the Lord, and his ears are open unto
their prayers: but the face of the Lord is toward them that do evil" (1 Peter 3:12).

In short, I think we should dedicate enough time to listen more and try to create a
real conversation with others because if we do not train our ears, we will not expand our
knowledge. If we pay attention, I think the world would be a different place, people will
not focus so much on themselves. However, this does not mean that you put the opinion
of others above your own, but rather, receiving prayers from the other person will make
us more empathetic and understanding of others. In addition, this is a very important point
in the relationship and for a good relationship the most important point is communication,
and if we are not trained in listening how do you think that relationship will last? Let's be
aware and thus avoid more serious mistakes in the future.