heart shaker

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/27436540.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: F/F
Fandom: 少女☆歌劇 レヴュー・スタァライト | Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight
(Anime)
Relationship: Saijou Claudine/Tendou Maya, the rest of the main ships but you really
have to squint for them
Character: Saijou Claudine, Tendou Maya, the gang's all here - Character, to
varying degrees - Character, also seiran, there's a dude, he's
unimportant
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Fluff, author knows nothing about reality tv
production
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2020-11-07 Words: 13,867 Chapters: 1/1

heart shaker
by vice (zzzubat)

Summary

When Claudine told Hikari she'd do anything to be back in the spotlight, she wasn't
expecting to end up on a dating show.

She really wasn't expecting Tendou Maya to be on it, too.

[Commission]

Notes

hiiii been a while!

college is kicking my ass, sorry about that ^^'

big thanks to 0mniessence for commissioning me again, i'm forever grateful <3

my beta reader couldn't catch a break, shout out to her

hope you enjoy~

“Join us in assisting this fine young man find his one true love in ‘Heart Shaker’ this November!
Applications are now open!”
Claudine yawns at the screen and checks her watch for the third time in the past forty minutes. She
ordered takeout, too tired from running around all day like a glorified lackey to some hotshot
superstar to even consider making dinner. Even paid intern positions suck, it turns out.

So now she’s practically sinking into her couch waiting for the food to arrive and watching mostly
dumb ads to pass the time. It’s the third time this The Bachelor knockoff has nearly poked her eyes
out with how corny and embarrassing it is and she’s about to give up and put on a K-drama on
Netflix when Hikari walks out from the kitchen with a pack of string cheese between her teeth.

“What are you watching?”

Claudine shakes her head. “The hot new reality show that’s going to—” she squints at the wall,
trying to remember the wording, “—make your heart race into the sunset?”

Hikari makes a face. Curiously, while there’s the expected disgust in her expression, her eyebrows
furrow just a bit. Claudine’s only seen her do that twice; once when Hikari’s girlfriend broke her
leg due to a misstep on a trampoline and a second time after Claudine’s last audition which had
gone so poorly she’s blacked it out of her memory. Oh, no.

“What’s up? You look worried.”

Hikari drops next to her on the couch like a sack of potatoes and rips the pack of string cheese
open, wordlessly offering one to Claudine. What the hell , she thinks as she grabs it, she’s hungry
anyway. But Hikari only offers her food when she thinks she’s in grave danger from Claudine’s
temper and Claudine knows this is the last pack of string cheese because Mahiru has completely
banned the things from entering the premises. Hikari says it’s an attack on her free will, Mahiru
just deadpans that Hikari happens to be lactose intolerant.

They’ve had that argument in front of Claudine multiple times and she’s sure Mahiru will end up
moving in eventually to save Hikari from herself—since Claudine stopped trying years ago—but
that would mean Karen would also have to move in and Claudine won’t survive fourth-wheeling
them.

Hikari sits up a bit after she bites into the string cheese like an animal and fixes Claudine with an
unreadable stare. Hikari’s known for her blank expression, but Claudine likes to think that after
knowing her for over a decade she’s pretty good at deciphering it.

“I signed you up for it.”

She stands corrected.

“I spoke to one of the producers, and they knew who you were when I mentioned you, so…” she
shrugs as she trails off, the very picture of nonchalance.

Claudine stares back at her in confusion for one, two, fifty seconds before her lips curl into a
sardonic smile that’s sharp enough to cut through glass. Hikari, to her credit, barely flinches, but
her body seems to instinctively move away from Claudine, shifting her whole center of gravity
little by little as several emotions flash through Claudine’s eyes. Have they always been that shade
of red?

Claudine’s voice is a pitch higher than it usually is when she speaks. “You did what now?”

Hikari slowly stands up from the couch, setting her precious string cheese on the table, all the
while carefully observing Claudine’s body language.
“Well, you were getting all depressed because you haven’t had a gig in a while, so I figured this
would… spice it up a little.”

“Spice what up, Hikari?” Claudine stands as well, both of them standing frozen in their living room
staring at each other for a long moment. “My life? By sticking me in a reality show ?”

She takes a step forward. Hikari calmly steps back.

“Think of your Instagram following. You’re hot and mean, they’ll be all over you.”

“Oh, I’m mean, am I?”

Hikari finally drops the blank expression and winces right before bolting as Claudine chases her
around their– frankly a bit cramped– apartment. It’s not the first time they do this, and it’s less than
advisable. Hikari is nimble and quick, so she slinks around the furniture like it’s nothing, but
Claudine practices a more aggressive style of pursuit, knocking things over until everything is in
complete disarray and they have to clean up for hours after.

“Listen,” Hikari says, eyes peeking over the kitchen counter as she takes shelter behind it. “I know
you hate the idea of being a TV personality, but this show is special.”

Claudine cracks her knuckles and picks up one of the unnecessarily heavy cushions, raising her
eyebrow in a silent threat.

“And why is that?”

“Yakumo Kyoko is involved.”

Claudine blinks.

“You’re kidding.”

“Scout’s honour.” She lifts up three fingers above the counter for Claudine to see.

“Hikari, you stole all of your scout badges from that girl with the braces in third grade.”

Hikari drops her hand. “Which you knew about and didn’t say anything, we’re both terrible. But
I’m serious about the Yakumo thing.”

Claudine rubs her temple, already feeling a headache coming, and climbs up on the couch so she
has a better view of Hikari and a better opening if she were to aim something at her. She tightens
her grip on the cushion.

“Why the hell would Yakumo be involved in a trashy reality TV show? She’s one of the biggest
musical theater producers in the whole country!”

“Apparently her niece is the one who pitched it or something. So here we are.”

Claudine chews on the inside of her cheek as she contemplates. This is certainly the most
embarrassing gig she’s ever gotten, but if it got her close to Yakumo it might be a tiny bit worth it.
For god’s sake, she’s been taking odd jobs for months just to pay for rent and for her “annoyingly
expensive taste”, according to Mahiru. Last week, during one of their most pathetic drinking
binges, she had sworn to Hikari that she’d take any chance to go back on the stage. And there have
been many instances of Claudine nearly firing her (having your roommate be your manager is a
risky move in the first place) but when Hikari did something right she really went all out.
She’s brought out of her musings when the doorbell rings and it takes her a moment to collect
herself before she steps down from the couch and lets the cushion drop. Pointing at Hikari in lieu
of a warning, she quickly crosses the room and pulls the door open rather harshly, startling the
delivery boy on the other side. He seems familiar.

“Ah,” he chokes on his words. “Hello. I have your delivery.”

Claudine takes one look at how terrified he is and sighs.

“What did I do last time?”

“It wasn’t you but some dark-haired girl threatened me with a knife…”

She rolls her eyes. “Right. Sorry about her, she doesn’t know how to act. Here.”

After giving him a generous tip she closes the door and sends Hikari a glare.

“You are in a professional field. How have you not had a scandal yet?”

Hikari finally stands up to her full height and leans over the counter at the smell of food. And
while Claudine adores her, Hikari’s the reason she refuses to get a pet. She’s a handful to deal with
on her own.

“I’m not the most public figure. You’re more likely to have a scandal. Like that time you went viral
on Twitter for making out with Koharu at a bar… Huh. Maybe we should’ve asked her to get you
into contact with Yakumo, actually.”

“Absolutely not. My parents saw that picture! I literally can’t face Koharu after that.”

Hikari swoops in and grabs the food from her. “Well, then Heart Shaker it is, princess.”

Claudine can only groan.

So that’s how Claudine finds herself squinting up at a tall building that seems like it was originally
meant to be a hotel, but somewhere along the way a lunatic had the idea of turning it into a
mansion, so now the outside of it looks flat and boring, while the inside is probably lavish. Nothing
more than a trick to keep people’s eyes on the screen, but she has to admit she’s rather surprised at
how big the budget for this show must be.

The staff is running around trying to set up the scene in the most aesthetic way possible. Hikari’s
next to her, tapping away at her phone. At first glance, it looks like she’s checking her email but
Claudine can clearly see her tilting her phone a couple of times, so she leans in and peeks over her
shoulder.

“Are you playing Genshin Impact right now?”

She hides how impressed she is that Hikari can play it vertically.

“Karen is five adventure ranks above me, I have to catch up.”

“Karen doesn’t have a job ,” Claudine hisses, though she grins soon after.
Hikari waves her hand. “Leave her alone, she has a broken leg.”

“I don’t think I can forget how she accidentally socked the barista at Starbucks with her crutches
last week.”

Hikari snorts but finally pockets her phone. “What about you, princess? Like your castle?”

Claudine suppresses the urge to tackle her—it’s how they resolve most of their conflicts—because
they’re in public and she can’t really tarnish her delicate high-maintenance rich girl image by
roughhousing her manager. Though the rich part got questionable in college and now it’s more of a
fever dream, after her parents’ bankruptcy. Oh god, someone is going to bring that up in the show
for petty drama.

“I’m having an argument in my head.”

“Keep that energy for the cameras,” Hikari says, then backtracks. “But not too much! We want to
leave this place with more followers, not a nationwide bullying scandal.”

“Who the hell are you calling a bully?” Hikari just smirks.

Filming her intro for the show is one of the most painful experiences she’s been through and that
includes all of her senior year of high school. Introducing herself to an audience isn’t foreign to her
but for some reason talking about how she’s looking forward to meeting this esteemed bachelor
makes her gag a little. She hasn’t actually figured out what to do with him. She has to keep herself
in the show for some time until she gets the chance to speak to Yakumo if she even decides to show
up. But she doesn’t want to accidentally make him too interested and end up winning.

“You look pale. Want some Xanax?”

Claudine catches Hikari’s hand before it can slip into her pocket and retrieve it. “You’ve never
been to a doctor in your life, how did you get that?”

“I have my ways.”

“So you can’t take your vitamins but you have controlled substances on hand?”

“You can say drugs, you know. Oh, there’s the others.”

Claudine drags her eyes away from Hikari to see several girls arrive from different directions
around the set. They’re in casual clothes but the way they carry themselves is unmistakable—she
guesses most of them come from strict rich families, a few performers, probably an ambassador’s
daughter or two. The producers gathered them all for a briefing of sorts as well as to have them
meet so that during the actual show when they’re supposed to be meeting for the first time there’s
less awkward moments. She hasn’t been part of a reality TV set before but she figured most of it
would be staged.

Hikari tugs on her hand a bit. “I smell privilege.”

Claudine doesn’t let go of her hand but she swiftly jabs her in the ribs with an elbow. Hikari just
raises a challenging eyebrow.

“You’re one to talk, the last two years of high school you ditched me to study in London alone and
had your parents pay for literally everything, including your retro video game addiction.”

“And now we’re both broke and resorting to reality TV for money and connections.”
Claudine just looks at her. “Hikari, this is my greatest nightmare.”

Hikari pats her head and then she’s shoving her away and into the small crowd of girls with a
smirk. Claudine’s always been the face of their little duo, or whatever you’d call it since she’s far
more sociable than Hikari but she’s starting to really see the appeal of hiding behind the camera at
this moment.

Ten minutes into this “briefing”, the producer leaves them on their own in the garden behind the
mansion. None of what he says is in any way new or helpful and he seems to catch onto the few
yawns in his audience so he spares them the pain and just slaps a few copies of the same document
onto a big table before disappearing. There’s staff setting up equipment around the edges of the
garden, but they’re far enough for this whole thing to feel like an awkward company picnic.

One of the more eager girls takes to reading the document, which turns out to be more of a manual
on how to behave properly on camera and Claudine is professional enough to know everything
that’s written on that piece of paper already so she slumps into a chair and observes the other
contestants.

There’s a girl doing her best to keep that fake smile on her face but Claudine’s had enough
experience with those to know she probably wants to be there even less than Claudine herself.
There’s a couple of hotshots that seem a bit arrogant—Claudine isn’t one to judge other women but
she can sense that the look those two gave her is not friendly—as well as several, well, normal
people who have likely entered the contest willingly.

She almost feels bad for how less than genuine she is about being on the show, but that’s when a
girl pulls up the chair next to her and clears her throat in the most pretentious way anyone could
make that sound. Claudine turns to find a blue-haired demonic creature that’s going to haunt her
for the rest of her life but she doesn’t know that yet.

“So,” the stranger drawls in a hushed tone. “Saijou Claudine. I’m shocked to see you here.”

Claudine racks her brain for any recollection of the girl in front of her but by the way she’s
grinning, she probably doesn’t expect to be recognized. Still, her attitude instantly betrays that
she’s born with status. The silver bracelets on her wrists and the charms on them probably cost
more than Claudine and Hikari’s rent for a year. She hasn’t lost her eye for expensive things, even
after losing… the expensive things.

“Have we met before?” she asks, not unkindly, even though she has a bad feeling about this
conversation already. But it’s not being filmed, so as long as it doesn’t end in public humiliation,
Claudine will count it as a win.

“Not directly. I’ve heard of you though.”

She doesn’t like that smirk. “Oh?”

“You seem to be all buddy-buddy with Yanagi Koharu…”

Ah, there it is.

She sighs and turns her full body towards the girl, partly to make sure the others don’t catch onto
what she’s talking about. The girl just watches her with a half-amused, half-bored look in her eyes.

“We’re friends . And you are?”

The girl clicks her tongue in disappointment before offering Claudine a hand, not for a handshake
but as if she’s expecting her to kiss it. Claudine openly rolls her eyes at her and the girl giggles,
pleased. She does settle for a normal handshake afterward, her teeth glinting as she grins.

“Hanayagi Kaoruko. Nice to meet you. You look like you’d rather not be here.”

“Where would you rather be right now?” she asks, dropping the sugarcoated sweetness, but
Kaoruko seems to appreciate it.

“God, anywhere else. But I'm glamorous company if you need some.”

She can sense that there’s something else to the offer, but her only friend on set right now is Hikari
and she feels just a bit lonely among these twenty or so strangers so she leans back in her chair with
a nod.

“Don’t make me regret it, Hanayagi.”

“Full of ourselves, are we? I like you.”

Claudine snorts and looks away before the others get the idea that there are alliances forming.
She’s not sure how an alliance would even work on a show like this but she doesn’t put it past the
showrunners to make drama out of it, and while they’re not around right now, it’s good to practice
subtlety. As she glances over the faces of the other girls her gaze suddenly falls on a sharp pair of
eyes watching her from the other end of the table.

She holds eye contact for what feels like minutes, dread pooling into her body in strong waves, jaw
clenching.

It’s just her luck, really.

Meeting the “esteemed bachelor” is very underwhelming. He’s all dressed up in a suit and his hair
has been carefully styled to look fashionably ruffled, while he himself behaves in a manner so off-
puttingly chivalrous that Claudine has to concentrate on keeping her eyes from rolling into the
back of her skull.

It’s after he dramatically waves a hand towards the back of the garden where the table they sat at in
the morning is now full of food. A small bar has been set up next to it and Claudine can’t shake the
feeling that she’s back at her senior prom, which isn’t really a memory she’s okay with
remembering so she swiftly swoops in and links her arm with Kaoruko’s, dragging her a bit to the
side. The cameras are rolling, so she’s not sure for how long she can get away with muting her
microphone, but she does it anyway, slipping her arm around Kaoruko’s waist to do the same to
hers.

“Handsy tonight?” Kaoruko teases, but grabs two wine glasses from the bar and offers her one, so
they’re not just standing there whispering to each other.
“You knew who I was.”

The statement takes her by surprise a bit but she hums in affirmation while taking a sip from the
wine. She makes a face right after.

“Oh, this wine is terrible.”

“You knew who I was,” Claudine asserts. “So you definitely know Tendo Maya, yeah?”

“Oh. Yeah, obviously. So?”

Claudine looks at her like she’s crazy. “ So? So what the hell is she doing here?”

“I have no idea. I mean, no offense, but this show seems beneath her.”

Claudine can spot Maya out of the corner of her eye, mingling with the others. Well, more like
being crowded by them, which really doesn’t surprise her. Maya’s practically a celebrity, her
parents being two of the most well-known actors in the industry. She’s had several roles, been
praised for all of them, yet she doesn’t seem too active with her schedules. So seeing her doing a
dating show is more than a bit surprising.

“Do you have a history with her or something? Your seething stare is a bit much…”

“I—no, not directly. Whatever. Look at them. They’re all over her.”

“What, are you jealous? Wanna plot her downfall?”

Claudine shoves Kaoruko and her stupid smirk away and downs the glass of wine she has in her
hand in two big gulps.

“Damn, okay, don’t get drunk on the first night. Actually, maybe do it, people like insane women.”

Claudine sets her empty glass on the bar counter. “Do they really?” she asks dryly.

“Well, we’re about to find out!”

Before Claudine can ask what she’s on about Kaoruko giggles and slinks away, leaving her staring
at her back in confusion. She’s certain she’s not drunk already from a single glass of wine and she’s
spent enough time under the spotlight that she knows she doesn’t get easily blinded, but what she
sees next makes her question whether she’s perceiving reality correctly.

Tendou Maya, in all her superstar glory, intently approaches her; her dark blue dress sways with
her as she goes like an elegant ocean pooling around her figure and Claudine may be petty but she’s
not oblivious to beauty. And Maya Tendo has a lot of that going for her.

Claudine drags her eyes from the glittering gems on Maya’s neckline to meet her even brighter
eyes. It takes her aback for a moment, but she squares her shoulders and prepares to greet her in a
socially acceptable way that doesn’t betray how bitter she is.

“Saijou Claudine,” Maya says and offers a hand.

“Tendou Maya,” she responds in kind, though her eyebrow rises slightly in surprise. She didn’t
expect Maya to approach her first, let alone know who she is. “You look good.”

What? She’s honest.

Maya smiles at her pleasantly. “You as well. I have to admit you caught my attention.”

“An honor, surely.” Her tone was far too dry for the girl not to catch onto the sarcasm, but she’s
unfazed.

“You flatter me.” Oh, so she responds with sarcasm in turn, though hers is less obvious. Still, she
can work with that. “It’s only you that I haven’t met yet.”

“You seem to know my name already,” she notes, smoothly taking another glass of wine from the
bar. She remembers her microphone is muted then, so she subtly glances around them to see if
anyone’s focused on their interaction, but surprisingly they’re not. Well, maybe she can get away
with it for longer.

“I know your name, but I don’t know you,” Maya simply says. She’s being almost charming in the
way she speaks, Claudine would take it as flirting if it wasn’t Tendou fucking Maya she was
talking to.

“How do you know my name, though? I mean, we don’t operate in the same scenes, it seems.”

Was that a dig on Maya for barely being active lately or on herself for being a broke assistant?
Maya takes it in stride either way.

“We used to. Forgive me for not introducing myself sooner.”

“Oh, it’s whatever,” she makes a mental note to scream in the mirror later for sounding like such a
bitch. “What brings you here?”

“Ah,” Maya falters just a bit as if she’s carefully thinking through her answer. “We’re all here for
the same thing, no?”

She sounds so awkward when she says it and it takes all of Claudine’s strength not to call her out
on it. So she can safely assume Maya’s reasoning is about as controversial as Claudine’s, but she
still can’t imagine what it could be.

“Not really,” she says and smirks, handing Maya her untouched glass of wine. “Cheers?”

Maya accepts it a bit reluctantly but politeness has been drilled into her since birth so of course, she
doesn’t refuse.

“Cheers.”

She has some preconceived notions about Tendou Maya, admittedly. So the glamor and exclusivity
of her presence dim a bit in Claudine’s eyes and she can only spiral back to that day in her mind
and grow stiffer and stiffer until her vision blurs.

“Are you alright,” Maya calls and she struggles not to laugh. “Do you need some water?”

So her zoning out is less subtle than she’d like. She should work on that.

“No, thanks. I don’t need your help.”

“Oh. Of course. I apologize for assuming.”

Claudine sends her a tight-lipped smile that doesn’t meet her eyes and seeks Kaoruko out in the
crowd. She spots her talking to one of the camera people, strangely, the short redhead who had
greeted Claudine with finger guns that morning.
“Sorry, I have to go.”

She doesn’t look back at Maya as she leaves, or else she probably would’ve noticed how the one
and only Maya Tendo deflates a bit, staring into her wine glass.

Dragging her feet through the long hallway, she nearly tunes out the voice of one of the producers
explaining where everything is. It won’t help much anyway, she’s seen the colorful guides
plastered over the wall in every hallway so far; the layout of the mansion is a mess at best. Half of
the bedrooms are neatly ordered in the west wing, the other half are haphazardly thrown around as
if the designer was making a puzzle out of it. She ends up, obviously, allocated to one such room
on the top floor where you could clearly see the ceiling slope down. Kaoruko jabs her that she
should watch out not to hit her head, but Kaoruko is also stuck rooming with the very eager girl
from earlier, so her comments don’t mean much.

That is until she peeks into her room and the first thing she sees is Tendou Maya sitting at a desk in
the corner, reading a book. Claudine pauses in the entryway, blinking owlishly at her and cursing
internally.

It’s hard not to notice her loitering by the door, so it’s not long before Maya looks up. Her lips part
in surprise but she recovers quickly, standing up and giving Claudine a pleasant smile. Not nice,
just pleasant.

“Claudine.”

“Tendou.”

“You can call me—”

“Can I, though?”

She’s taken aback by her own outburst, but she can’t take it back or else her pride will crumble, so
she simply walks over to her bed and opens her suitcase, which has been carefully set beside it.

“Why wouldn’t you be able to?” Maya asks, because she never lets anything go apparently, but
there’s genuine confusion in her tone and in the way she tilts her head.

Claudine sighs and sits on the floor to rummage through her luggage, because she doesn’t want to
have this conversation so soon— or at all.

“You’re the star of the show here. Everyone’s practically groveling at your feet, don’t you notice
it?”

Now that she thinks about it, the bachelor himself had to have his jaw picked off the floor for him
when he first saw her. It’s almost too obvious who the winner of the show will be already and
Claudine isn’t the least bit surprised. Leave it to Tendou Maya to waltz in and take something
away from her even when she doesn’t want it. She’s not sure Maya wants it either, to be honest, but
that doesn’t make the crushing feeling in her chest subside.

She lost her last audition to Tendou Maya. And she can’t shake the thought that it might’ve been
her last audition ever.
“You aren’t,” Maya says airly as if it’s some sort of achievement that she isn’t praising her for
breathing.

“No,” She stands up, considers what she’s about to do, and then does it anyway. She walks up to
Maya, a little too close to be appropriate, and crosses her arms. “And I don’t really want to be
friends, either. We’re rivals.”

Maya doesn’t say anything, but her stare speaks for itself. She’s obviously going to take any
challenge Claudine throws her way, so might as well make the most of it. Getting under Tendou
Maya’s skin may not be her main objective here, but it doesn’t hurt to see her squirm.

“Everyone here already worships you, I feel like we should balance it out, no?”

“You must be very determined to win.” She means ‘desperate’ and Claudine smiles with no hint of
amusement.

“I wouldn’t say I’m here to win, but if that’s the game you wanna play, I don’t mind.”

Maya takes the bait easily; Claudine isn’t even sure why she let that slip, maybe some part of her
wants to see her reaction. They’re closer than before— she can feel Maya’s breath on her face, but
she’s focused on mentally going through every bad thing that’s happened to her ever since she first
saw her and it’s enough to keep her from getting flustered.

“What are you here for, then?”

Claudine smiles sweetly and watches Maya’s eyes briefly fall to her lips as she does. Now that
must’ve been a coincidence, but she decides to play off it anyway, gently jabbing Maya in the
sternum.

“You know, suddenly I’m not too sure. But whatever it is, I’ll make sure to win.”

Maya licks her lips. Claudine doesn’t let her gaze dip.

“Good luck then, Saijou.”

Claudine scoffs but before she can say anything back there’s a commotion in the hallway that
sounds like someone cackling way too loudly. She frowns and steps away just in time to see the
door burst open.

“Claudine!” Kaoruko barges in with her face frozen in excited confusion. “You have to see the
showers! They’re shaped like flamingos!”

Claudine groans in disbelief.

“They are not .”

“Oh, they are. I know I have an extravagant taste, but this is too much even for me. Come see!”
She notices Maya then but if she senses the awkward atmosphere she decides not to comment.
“Hey, Tendou! You like flamingos?”

Maya doesn’t have a chance to respond, since Claudine grabs Kaoruko’s arm and drags her away in
the direction of the bathrooms.

She’s right, the flamingos are hideous.

“If you beat this gentleman at arm wrestling you get to have dinner with him at a luxurious
restaurant downtown, all expenses covered,” the host announces with a stupidly bright smile.

Claudine was prepared to lose whatever the ‘challenge of the week’ was since she really didn’t
want to bring all the attention to herself in the first week but at the mention of food she finds
herself considering it. She’s sure she can win an arm-wrestling match against the dude, he seems
like he’d shatter into a million pieces if he got hit by an above-average gust of wind. What’s
annoying her more than anything is that this is the pool episode of the show and she really doesn’t
want to be that close to a random shirtless dude, even if he was nice when he spoke to her the night
before.

She adjusts her sunglasses on top of her head and pretends she isn’t actually freezing. It’s sunny
out, but the air feels colder than usual which adds to her displeasure. When she woke up Maya was
already downstairs having breakfast with the others, so she thought she could have a peaceful day.
And then the whole pool announcement came in.

Oh, and Maya stands right beside her, hair tied up and blowing in the wind. She’s a little too
cinematic to be real—Claudine gets the urge to shove her into the pool to double-check, but she’s
not that mean, unlike what Hikari might say. She’d push Hikari in a pool any day, though.

“Up for the challenge, Claudine?”

Claudine gives her the fakest smile she’s ever had to conjure up. “Doesn’t seem like much of a
challenge.”

It isn’t. Claudine beats him within five seconds, the gasps of other contestants going straight to her
head and she finds herself genuinely grinning at the attention. She steals a glance at Maya, but she
can’t tell what she’s thinking nor is she happy with herself for seeking out the girl’s reaction.

A couple of other girls win, to nobody’s surprise. The guy’s ego seems just a little bit bruised, but
he’ll live. The problem with this whole thing is that the girls who succeeded have to arm wrestle
each other for the prize and now Claudine really has to win this in order to beat Maya at
something.

“Who the hell is even watching us arm wrestle for entertainment?” Claudine hisses through her
teeth at Kaoruko.

“Perverts?”

“You’re probably right.”

Clearly, the show is taking a lighter route when it comes to competitions, which is both a relief and
disappointment. As competitive as she is, the euphoria of the win is slightly dimmed by the
realization of how stupid and unnecessary all of this is. For god’s sake, she doesn’t even remember
the guy’s name half the time.

Doesn’t stop her from smugly taunting Maya once they face off against each other.

“Sorry, Tendou, this one’s mine.”

Maya raises an eyebrow. “The guy?”

Claudine almost chokes on her laugh. “I don’t fight over men. But I do fight over food.”

She winks for effect and decimates Maya with a quick flick of the wrist, so quick that she has to
ask herself whether Maya tried at all.

And when she steps into the restaurant on her well-earned date she finds herself thinking about
confronting Maya again while she makes conversation with the dude who’s supposed to be the
“prize.”

Kaoruko jokes that karma’s gonna get her for being so cocky about the arm wrestling competition
and she is proven right several weeks later after multiple contestants have left already and their
group feels far smaller, when the activity of the day gets announced and Claudine buries her head
in her hands on the breakfast table in frustration.

Paragliding? Who does that on a dating show? Maybe they should ask contestants if anyone has a
fear of heights before organizing something like that. Not that she’s afraid, but she’s not the biggest
fan of them, so she grits her teeth before approaching one of the assistants on set about it.

“You—you what?”

“Nana, seriously, I will go crazy.”

Nana looks overworked and more than a little bit stressed but she still smiles brightly and assures
Claudine wouldn’t have to participate in it if she doesn’t want to. But she should probably still go
with them for the screen time, which Claudine accepts with a grumble.

It’s not bad at first, she stands away from the edge of the cliff as the instructors go over safety
protocols. She tunes them out—her feet are staying firmly on the ground, after all, but one of the
other girls seems to have missed the memo about Claudine skipping this particular adventure and
drags her over in an attempt to convince her to try it. She doesn’t really hold it against her and she’s
almost touched that the other girls have warmed up to her fast enough to joke around but when she
makes the mistake of looking down her stomach churns.

She plays it off for the camera, making it out to be more of a fun quirk than something that actually
upset her because like hell is she going to let all their viewers know something that personal about
her. But, as actors are so attuned to analysing techniques, there’s one particular person in the group
who catches onto it.

She’s standing behind the group again, arms crossed so as not to make it obvious that her hands are
shaking. Maya carefully slides up to her after her turn and hands her a water bottle with a perfectly
blank expression. She takes it since she doesn’t want to make a scene out of something so small,
but Maya doesn’t let it go right away, so for a few seconds, they stand there, keeping eye contact
and fingers touching.

She shivers. Maya lets go.

When she leaves Claudine lowers her head in shame, though she doesn’t know what she’s ashamed
of.
A few nights later she wanders outside to get some fresh air and to possibly finally manage to
relax. She pauses at the entrance of the garden, seeing Maya curled up with a book on one of the
outdoor sofas in a grey sweater and white jeans, resembling a college student more than a celebrity.
The look suits her.

Claudine shifts her weight from foot to foot for a bit, deciding whether she should go talk to her
now or wait until Maya goes back to their room. But waiting isn’t her strong suit and she has less
control over that scenario, so she takes a deep breath and marches up to the sofa, sitting down on
the edge that’s furthest from Maya.

“Hey,” she says when Maya looks up at her.

“Hello.”

Claudine rubs the back of her neck, already feeling awkward. “Look, I just wanted to say… thanks.
For the other day.”

Maya smiles a bit and puts the book down in her lap, closing it to give Claudine her full attention.
One thing Tendou Maya never slacks in is being attentive.

“Of course. I’m glad you’re okay.”

They sit there in silence for a few moments and Claudine focuses on watching the water in the pool
slosh gently with the breeze. She stares at a lone leaf floating in it as she thinks about what to say
next. She doesn’t have to, it turns out.

“I was surprised you were scared of something, to be honest,” Maya speaks up.

“I’m not scared of heights. I’m just… unsettled. There’s a difference!”

Maya’s lips tug into a smile at how affronted she sounds.

“Right, then. I didn’t think you could be unsettled by anything.”

“Don’t lie to me, I was pretty unsettled by you showing off. What possessed you to sing while
paragliding?”

Maya shrugs good-naturedly. “They dared me to?”

“Still. You’re so annoying.”

Maya’s fingers tap a rhythm on the book cover that reminds Claudine of a song from a musical she
can’t quite place. It’s a good description for Maya too, she supposes. There’s always something
about her that’s just the slightest bit off, so she’s unable to figure out what goes through the other
girl’s mind. She lowers her gaze to the book in Maya’s lap and finds another thing that takes her by
surprise.

“Is that a… middle-grade novel?” she prods at the book inquisitively.

“It’s entertaining,” Maya defends, keeping the book out of Claudine’s grasp. “Besides, the
demographic doesn’t signify quality.”

“Right, well, the demographic for this—” she sweeps her arms out to motion to the mansion, the
garden, everything that’s been seen by a camera around them, “—is middle-aged straight white
women.”

“Are you insulting middle-aged straight white women?”

“Are you saying the show is bad?” Claudine teases with a grin and Maya pauses, realizing she’s
been caught. “You can say the show is bad. It’s true. We’re all supposed to be fighting over some
guy that looks like a cardboard cutout of a 90s boy band member.”

“You’re quite creative.”

Claudine snorts and relaxes into the sofa, pulling her knees to her chest.

“My manager is a bastard, I have to keep the vitriol coming or she’ll get the idea that I like her or
something.”

“You speak fondly of her, though.” Claudine shoots her a look. “It must be nice having such a
close relationship with your manager.”

Claudine shrugs. She really hasn’t had the time to think about it. Hikari pretty much became her
agent the moment she came back from London and they’ve been stuck with each other ever since,
and even longer than that. Hikari’s presence is a constant in her life, and she wouldn’t have it any
other way, but she’s not admitting that out loud, much less to Maya.

“I’ve tried getting rid of her. Didn’t work. Isn’t your manager your mother? I can’t tell which is
worse, to be honest.”

Maya glances down at her book.

“Right.”

She expects her to say something else but Maya stays silent, so Claudine busies herself with
playing with a string on her sweater as if it’s her life’s mission to unravel it. Soon after she spaces
out again, barely hearing the sound of pages turning as Maya returns to her book.

Claudine wakes up with a start, either because of a dream she can’t remember or the loud knocking
on her door. She drags herself into a sitting position, blinking past the haze. Kaoruko’s standing by
the door, seemingly impatient.

“Oh, good, you’re up,” she says cheerfully. “I need a hairbrush.”

Claudine’s still trying to recollect her bearings so the request catches her off guard. She looks
around. She doesn’t remember coming back to the room last night, having been lulled to sleep on
that garden sofa she had been sharing with…

Hmm.

“Claud!”

She yelps at the second interruption, scurrying off the bed in a haste.
“God! Don’t do that! What happened to your hairbrush?”

“There was a spider in my room,” she says as if that explains everything.

“And you…”

“Threw the hairbrush at it. Broke it. Did you wake up dumber than yesterday?”

Claudine scoffs and reaches for her own hairbrush on top of her dresser. When she turns, Kaoruko
is watching her with a suspicious glint in her eye.

“Why are you in your clothes from yesterday?”

“I was too tired to change,” she lies through her teeth, and she doesn’t really know why either.
Kaoruko knows enough about her to have her kicked off the show already, it’s not like telling her
she had a heart-to-heart with Maya and then presumably got dragged back to the room by the same
girl while she was barely conscious would do anything other than give Kaoruko more reasons to
tease her.

But she feels uncomfortable with the implications about her relationship with Maya that’s going to
result in and she, once again, can’t place why.

Kaoruko doesn’t seem to buy it but she shrugs anyway and grabs the hairbrush from her.

“Oh, by the way,” she says as she exits, always having to have the last word. “Maya carrying you
in last night like a princess was sickening.”

“Out of my room, Kaoruko!”

She hears her laugh echo in the hallway and it dawns on her that she’s going to have to get used to
the sound.

Her face feels hot.

She doesn’t see Maya at breakfast so she doesn’t get the chance to apologize for falling asleep out
in the fucking garden and making herself Maya’s problem, though the thought of it makes her
giggle a little to herself. She cuts herself off almost as soon as she starts, shaking her head.

“What’s wrong with me…” she mutters as she joins the rest of the contestants on the bus that’s
supposed to take them to their activity for the day. She swears this feels like boarding school more
than anything, and Hikari agrees, adding that they only need an ugly uniform to complete the vibe.

The activity of the day turns out to be a stunt to garner in more viewers by using one of the most
effective means known to them—animals. They’ve organized an event with a local animal shelter
and she has to admit that spending the day playing with puppies really isn’t the worst thing in the
world. It might be the best experience she’s going to have in the show, so she’s determined to make
the most of it, even if she knows they mainly did it to show the bachelor’s soft side. Don’t get her
wrong, the dude seems nice, but dogs are nicer.

Claudine knows she and Kaoruko are probably regarded as the least professional contestants on
set, but the thought cements itself once Kaoruko marches up to her and shoves a cat into her arms
before pulling out her phone with purpose.

“Have you checked Twitter lately? You and Maya are neck and neck on the popularity charts. I bet
all the simps went crazy when you won the arm wrestling thing.”

Claudine adjusts the cat in her arms and makes a sign to the redheaded camera girl—her name is
Futaba, she’s come to learn—not to film this conversation. Kaoruko’s bound to say something
rude, and she’d rather keep the girl around, if only for her own entertainment.

(It’s not. She’s quickly getting attached to her, which surprises her the most, considering it’s been a
bit over a month at that point and while she’s open with her emotions, she wasn’t expecting to be
able to call this girl her friend after such a short time.)

“How many times do I have to tell you that random Twitter polls aren’t reflective of real
statistics?”

“Well, clearly they’re not. I’m so low.”

Claudine snorts. “Maybe we should talk to each other on camera as well? If I’m so popular, I’m
sure you’ll get some benefits out of it.”

“You keep your benefits to yourself,” Kaoruko teases, and the way she pronounces the word is
close to scandalous. “But are you offering me free clout, Miss Saijou?”

“Nothing is ever free, Hanayagi, pay up.”

Kaoruko shoves her and makes the cat in her arms hiss.

“Whoa, the fuck? This cat hates me, I swear.” Claudine gives her a look. “Okay, but I can pay you
in information.”

“What could I possibly care about—”

“The Tendous seem to be under fire for being bigots.” She’s surprised Kaoruko doesn’t add a
sarcastic ‘lol’ at the end of that sentence.

“The… what?”

Kaoruko leans into her and scrolls down through her Twitter timeline—which mostly consists of
pictures of herself, unsurprisingly—and stops at an article with a headline that makes her eyes
bulge out of her skull.

“Uh… Is this true?”

“I mean I always got those vibes from the Tendous, so probably… lol.”

“That’s kind of… really bad.”

“I feel like homophobic slurs are entry-level shit for those stuck up bitches, so are we really
surprised?”

Claudine blinks at her. “You swear more than I thought.”

“If it fits.”

“Well,” Claudine looks around and spots Maya sitting on the floor with a couple of puppies
jumping around her. There’s a stupid grin on her face that’s too bright to be fake and suddenly she
feels a bit dizzy. “So her parents are homophobes. Doesn’t mean she is.”

Kaoruko hums. “Yeah, you’re probably right. I always thought she was gay, actually.”

Claudine nods subconsciously before her mind can process the words, but once it does she snaps
her head to look at Kaoruko so fast her neck cracks.

“Pause. What?”

“Oh, come on. You can’t tell me you haven’t suspected.”

“ No? ”

And she really hasn’t, not when most of her thoughts about Maya are borderline homicidal. Okay,
that’s a bit much—she’s just very competitive and Maya makes her insecure, but she’s not blind, so
why hasn’t she thought of it before?

She glances at Maya again and how she holds herself. The girl seems to only know how to do
extremes so she’s either the gayest person Claudine has ever met or the straightest. She can’t quite
tell at the moment, especially because Hiroto is crouching next to her, looking so whipped
Claudine can’t help but make a face.

“Inconclusive evidence.”

“Boo. Think about it.”

And she does think about it. So much in fact that she drives herself crazy. Because the possibility
completely alters her interactions with Maya. Could you call them flirting? Claudine has definitely
caught herself saying things to Maya that she’d say to a random girl at the bar to fluster her, but
flustering Maya is even more satisfying and that’s probably bad.

She’s sitting cross-legged on her bed, scrolling through the Heart Shaker tag on Twitter to find
memes of Kaoruko’s face when she notices Maya hasn’t touched her phone all day, not even to do
those coloring puzzles she’s obsessed with.

(She learns too much about Maya just from being near her, but they haven’t really had an in-depth
conversation about anything. Usually, it either gets interrupted by Kaoruko before they could get
there, or Maya herself deflects and pulls away. It shouldn’t come as a shock – Claudine did tell her
she had no intention of being her friend.

She regrets it now. Just a bit.)

“Can I ask you something?”

She drags her eyes away from what’s a very well made edit of Kaoruko rolling her eyes at other
contestants to look at Maya. There’s some unease in her expression.

“Sure?” She doesn’t mean to sound it out like a question, but this is uncharted territory she’s going
into.
“Hiroto asked me to accompany him for dinner tomorrow.”

“Ah.” She figured as much. "Congrats?"

Congratulations don't seem to be in order, considering how apprehensive Maya looks. She doesn't
show it too much, but the fact that she's bringing it up in the first place to Claudine of all people
must mean something about it is troubling her.

"Did you… Have you kissed him?"

The bluntness of the question surprises her a little, so much so that she ignores the text from
Kaoruko she just got that looks suspiciously like a copypasta, and ignoring Kaoruko's texts is never
something she'd advise anyone to do.

"Uh… Yeah? But this whole thing is staged, it's not like it was any different from people I've
kissed on stage. Kissing is just kissing. It doesn't have to mean anything. "

Maya hums, deep in thought, and Claudine realizes she's probably watched everything Maya's ever
starred in (for research, and also out of spite… and maybe because Maya was a bit breathtaking
when she acted) but she's never seen her do a kiss scene.

A ludicrous idea takes root in her head and she's always had trouble keeping her tongue.

"What, have you not kissed anyone before?" she asks it in a tone that's a bit disbelieving, but she's
almost convinced she's right, knows it for sure when Maya takes a minute to answer. "Literally
how ? You have like forty available suitors at all times! It's like they rotate on shifts!"

Maya shrugs, trying to play it off, but she seems so tired; it must be exhausting to be Little Miss
Perfect all the time.

"They never interested me."

"And does Hiroto?"

A grimace. Of course not. Her mind goes back to that one conversation with Kaoruko and she
shifts on her bed, weirdly excited all of a sudden.

"Okay, but I don't see your problem. Just don't kiss him? It's not like you have to."

Maya looks at her like she's stupid. Okay, Maya doesn't mean to look at her like she's stupid, but
her stare is naturally a bit condescending, not to mention that she probably does think Claudine is
playing the part of a silly clown at that moment.

"If I don't, he's going to eliminate me at the next ceremony."

Well, that sure is… True.

"Do you care about that? I mean, what's the point of you even competing in this?"

"You don't care, either," Maya defends, but Claudine's filter is a little more nonexistent tonight.

"Yeah, but I'm here for money and connections, hello? You have both. So why ?"

She looks even more apprehensive now and Claudine quickly realizes she's not going to share
anything more for the time being.
"Look, forget it. I don't see how I can help, though."

"I…" Maya doesn't take her eyes off her. "I don't want my first kiss to be on camera."

"Well, okay, but I still don't…"

She freezes up like an ice block, not even blinking for a long moment. Surely, she couldn't be
asking what Claudine thinks she's asking. They're only tentatively toeing the line between enemy
and acquaintance, it would be ridiculous to trust Claudine with this sort of thing.

"You… What?"

"Kissing is just kissing, no? So?"

Getting slapped with her own words is something she'd been expecting to happen eventually but
the scenario is so foreign to her. It's not like she ever thought she'd be close enough to Maya to
speak to her, let alone kiss her.

Why is she considering it, though?

She glances at Maya's lips.

Her own first kiss sucked but at least it was with someone she was close to (it was with Hikari,
they were both 14 and stupid; Hikari is arguably still just as dumb in her opinion). And she's most
definitely closer to Maya than Maya is to Hiroto, so it makes sense that she's the better option.

Of course, she's the better option, just look at her!

"You don't want Kaoruko instead?" Claudine asks, smirking.

"No."

"Direct."

"She looks like she bites."

"Who says I don't?"

Silence.

“Okay, fine.”

Maya visibly perks up and Claudine wants to crawl into the dirt or become a leaf, or anything that
will spare her the mortification of kissing the girl she was sure she hated until a few weeks ago. But
maybe that’s better, maybe hating Maya will make it easier for her to just kiss her and send her off
to win the heart of the dude Claudine’s supposed to be competing for. But it was never about him
— the rivalry she has with Maya in her head is one-sided and it has nothing to do with the show.
She’s starting to realize just how in her own head she’s gotten, the bitterness of losing something
she’s worked for since she was a child mixed with that empty feeling in her chest she gets
whenever she sees Hikari with Mahiru and/or Karen has overwhelmed her senses and she bites her
lip hard as it dawns on her.

She’s tired and she’s lonely and sad , in so many ways that words seem too simple to explain it. So,
what the hell, none of that is going to change if she kisses Maya, and nothing is going to change
with Maya either.
It’s an easy decision then when she moves to stand from her own bed and scoots over to Maya. Her
own heartbeat pulses in her ears and there’s a headache coming with it, she can feel it, but she
doesn’t let it show on her face.

“I’ll have you know I expect something as compensation for this,” she mutters, but they’re close
enough for Maya to hear her just fine.

“Kissing me isn’t enough of a reward?” Maya teases but judging by the way she’s gripping the
blankets she’s not that sure of herself.

“It’s a punishment, Tendou. I’m sure I must have done something in a past life to justify this.” She
jabs to ease the tension. “Genocide maybe?”

“What makes you think it’s not karma for something you’ve done in this life? I spoke to your
agent-friend-roommate hybrid the other day.”

She is going to wring Hikari’s neck like a chicken.

“What the fuck did she tell you?”

“Is that really relevant right now?”

Claudine shakes her head and mentally notes to have a talk with Hikari later because while she
doesn’t care about Maya’s opinion, she’s a bit of an attention whore and gossip about her catches
her interest quickly. Back to the matter at hand, though...

“Okay, okay, let’s get it over with.”

Maya, honest to god, pouts at that but Claudine barely sees it, because in the next second she’s
leaning in and pressing her lips to Maya’s firmly. She still hasn't been able to process what's
happening and Maya's lips are really soft, so it takes nothing more than a simple touch for her
mind to empty out and her instincts to take over. She was ready to make fun of Maya for being a
bad kisser, but the girl follows her rhythm just fine.

Claudine exhales into it and tilts her head, hand snaking up to curl at the nape of Maya’s neck,
pulling her in closer. Maya lets out a squeak in surprise and Claudine chuckles against her mouth.
Her grin makes it hard to keep kissing so she pulls away and pats Maya’s cheek.

“There you go. I should warn you—no kiss is gonna beat that one.”

Maya eyes her smirk and subtly rolls her eyes. “Thank you.”

“That’s the lamest thing I’ve heard someone say after kissing them.”

She stands up from Maya’s bed. Her phone is still face up over her own blankets and she can see a
stream of texts from Kaoruko, no doubt complaining she hasn’t gotten a text back. Kaoruko’s a bit
of a needy friend, which shouldn’t surprise her at all. When she picks up her phone her hands are
shaking.

“I’ll keep my gratitude to myself, then.”

“I didn’t say that ! Order us pizza and we’re even.”

Maya looks at her with an amused twinkle in her eyes. Leave it to Claudine to equate kissing to
food. She reaches for her own phone to do as much but pauses when she sees the missed calls and
messages. She has hardly touched her phone in the past couple of days. She’s not an idiot, nor is
she deaf—she knows of the scandal involving her family happening but ironically the show, as
publicized as it is, does take her mind off her personal life to an extent. She ignores the messages
from her father, sighs, and glances up at Claudine.

Her blonde hair is a bit of a mess, falling over her shoulder as she reads something on her phone
and snorts, typing back a message quickly with a self-satisfied smile on her face.

Maya finds it hard to take her eyes away from her.

Claudine has to force herself not to look at her.

The next day Claudine is uncharacteristically anxious. She didn’t have a good night’s sleep, and
Kaoruko has stolen her hairbrush again and she doesn’t have the energy to stalk up to her room and
demand it back so she cards her fingers through her hair until it looks presentable before going
downstairs. Maya is always up before her so she doesn’t get to see her in the mornings. She’s
probably out jogging or something.

When Claudine enters the kitchen the idle chatter of the remaining contestants seems a bit stiff and
it doesn’t take her long to figure out why. If Maya’s little date goes well she’s definitely going to
win. Claudine almost smiles at being right once again, except she doesn’t feel very happy about it.
For one, she hasn’t gotten to do what she came here to do yet—Yakumo is an elusive beast and her
niece is this annoying little shortie who might be bossier than Claudine herself, so she hasn’t
managed to butter her up either.

Man, what a waste.

“I know, right?”

She looks up, startled, not realizing she said that out loud.

Nana grins at her, clipboard in one hand and a large cup of Starbucks coffee in the other. Nana
hangs out with them a lot, several people from the staff do. Claudine has learned enough about her
so far to know that this production is definitely beneath Nana’s capabilities, but she seems as stuck
as Claudine is, so she doesn’t bring it up.

Claudine stares at Nana’s coffee like it’s the second coming of Christ.

“Oh, no. No, no,” Nana clicks her tongue and places the cup on the table, away from Claudine as
she sits opposite her. “You won’t survive. I asked for eight espresso shots.”

“How are you fucking alive ?”

“I’m convinced Nana isn’t real,” comes another voice from behind Claudine, making her jump.
“Whoa, sorry.”

Ah, there’s the annoying shortie.

“Hisame,” Nana greets brightly. “Been a while.”

Hisame winces and pulls up the chair next to Claudine. “I’m sorry! I had some... family stuff to
take care of.”

Nana snorts like she’s caught her in a lie but doesn’t press further. It does get Claudine thinking
that while Hisame is the supposed main showrunner of this whole debacle, she only appears on set
when she’s absolutely needed.

“Not much of a passion project, huh?” she asks, once again cursing herself for being so blunt with
her boss . Hisame looks at her quizzically. “ Heart Shaker , I mean.”

Hisame pulls a face. “I wasn’t even the one who pitched it, but the original genius bailed so I had
to pick up the slack. My aunt thought it would be ‘hilarious.’ Her words.”

“Yakumo is a mystery to me,” Nana muses as she takes a big gulp from her cup. Her whole body
seems to vibrate when she does. Claudine and Hisame glance at each other.

“Get in line,” Hisame turns and lowers her voice so only Claudine and Nana could hear; Claudine
feels herself smiling subconsciously. “She calls me the other day and she goes: ‘Is your girlfriend
free for brunch?’ Like what ? Invite me first at least?”

Claudine raises an eyebrow. “Is everyone on set gay or something?”

Nana laughs. “Aren’t you?”

“Well... yes, but—what the hell? Like, this is the straightest show ever?”

“They didn’t let me make a lesbian version of The Bachelor , okay? We’re all suffering.”

The three of them laugh, but Nana’s giggle is sharper than usual. That espresso sure hits fast.

“Eh, it won’t be for long. He has his eyes on Maya. Maybe we can introduce something about true
love on the show and let him pick prematurely.”

Hisame seems to consider it. Claudine has a bad feeling about it, though. Something about the idea
of Maya really ending up with Hiroto bugs her. Her lips seem to tingle with the memory of last
night and she sighs.

“What about her, though?”

“Who knows? Aren’t you her roommate? Does she like him?” Whatever her expression is, it makes
Hisame snort and put her face in her hands. “Guess not then. Oh, that’s gonna be a huge mess.”

Claudine watches Nana take another sip from her demonic coffee and sighs.

The bad feeling follows her all day and it seems to grow once the sun sets, signaling that Maya
should be on the date right now. She busies herself by watching Netflix on her phone in bed. She’s
mulling over whether to text Kaoruko and ask her to hang out but the girl has been absent that day.
Claudine only saw her once talking to Futaba in the garden, but she didn’t want to interrupt so she’s
gone the whole day without talking to anyone other than Nana and Hisame that morning.

She’s halfway through the fourth consecutive episode of some ghost show when the door flings
open. Maya stands in the doorway, breathing a bit heavily. Claudine’s brain goes into alarm mode
immediately and she’s standing up, walking closer to gauge if anything’s out of order. Maya looks
fine on the outside, but her eyes shimmer a bit and Claudine feels something inside her crack.

“Hey, what happened? Are you okay?”

Maya shuts her eyes tightly and slowly blinks them open.

“I... I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t kiss him. He tried but—"

“Oh, Maya...” It’s the first time she’s called her that. Not Tendou, not Tendou Maya, just Maya.
There’s something almost intimate in calling her that and she feels it lodge in her throat when she
tries to swallow. “Hey. I told you. You don’t have to.”

Maya just looks at her for a moment, searching for something. And she seems to find it because
she leans in and shatters Claudine’s world with a simple kiss. Claudine’s breath hitches, because
what the hell? She’d been replaying the damn kiss from yesterday in her mind for hours, but she
didn’t think she’d get to experience it for real again.

She closes her eyes and pushes forward until Maya’s back hits the door. Once again, it’s like the
rational part of her brain simply shuts down when she brings her hands up to cup Maya’s face.
Maya's own hands glue themselves to Claudine's back, slipping under her shirt.

How bold. Claudine smirks against her lips and pulls her impossibly close by the collar of her
blazer.

"Do you… want to… talk about it?" Claudine asks in between kisses, but she's pretty sure she
already knows the answer.

"No," Maya basically growls and tugs on Claudine's bottom lip with her teeth.

"Yeah. Yeah, okay."

They stay pressed against the wall for a very long time.

She hasn't been able to speak to Maya at all in two days and she's starting to get irritable. By the
time she snaps at Kaoruko for spreading butter on bread wrong at the breakfast table she admits to
herself that maybe the Maya thing is affecting her a bit more than she'd like. And Maya is
practically a ghost; even if they share the same room she's gone during the day and always
manages to sneak into bed after Claudine is dead to the world and leave again before she awakes.
It's an annoying schedule to keep track of.

And she’s frustrated beyond belief at the fact that Maya’s avoiding her on purpose and refusing to
talk about the kiss(es). The only thing she can do is march into Kaoruko’s room and vent for a
couple of hours before going back to her room or to whatever activity they have scheduled. She
doesn’t even notice the cameras anymore and she doesn’t bother being bubbly when she’s in the
spotlight, because she’s honestly too tired to deal with it.

Patience isn’t a virtue she possesses. So on the third night, she sits on her bed with one of Nana’s
coffee orders and waits. It takes Maya until roughly 3 am to come back into the room and she gets
startled by Claudine already glaring at her.
“Close the door,” she says firmly.

“Claudine...”

“You don’t look like a coward, you know? You kind of are, though.”

Maya sighs, dragging her feet over to her desk after softly closing the door.

“I didn’t mean to avoid you,” Claudine fixes her with a look. “Okay, fine, I did. But I don’t know
how to talk about it.”

“Okay,” Claudine licks her lips. “How about you start with an explanation. You kissed me. Why?”

“You… interest me.”

She scoffs in response. “Obviously. I don’t get it, though. Are you gay? Why are you on a straight
dating show?”

Maya shifts and crosses her arms, clearly uncomfortable. Too bad, Claudine thinks, she doesn’t get
to just kiss her and run away without an explanation. Especially not when Claudine’s brain seems
insistent on replaying it before she goes to sleep every night.

Maya takes a deep breath. “You heard of my mother’s scandal?”

“Yeah. To be honest, knowing that your mom would call me a dyke kind of makes me laugh.”
Maya stares. “Tough crowd. So then? You’re here to convince her you’re straight?”

“Sort of.”

“That’s the worst plan I’ve ever heard, Maya, what the hell?”

“It was… also a dare.”

“I can’t stand you. Who dared you to do that ?”

Maya presses her lips together in a thin line, contemplating.

“Hanayagi.”

Claudine instinctively looks down at her phone and the four notifications she has from the contact
named hanayagayrights before looking back up at Maya with a stone-cold expression.

“Hanayagi. As in… Hanayagi Kaoruko? You knew each other before this?”

Kaoruko sure hadn’t told her that.

“We’ve known each other for five years.” Claudine’s jaw drops. “We agreed to pretend we didn’t
for the show. She did find better company, anyway.”

Claudine doesn’t take the statement seriously, because she’s too mad at Maya right now to let her
flatter her. She sends Kaoruko a quick strongly-worded text.

“Okay, fine. That aside, what are you going to do now exactly?”

“What do you mean?”

She’s really pretty in the moonlight and Claudine curses herself for noticing. What does she want
from Maya, anyway? She’s hooked up with many girls before, and it’s not like she doesn’t have
many prospects for more hookups when she leaves the show, but—and she hates to admit this—
Maya intrigues her too.

“What do you want from me?” Maya seems to falter. “Because neither of us wants to win this
competition. And you’re probably leaving at the ceremony this week.”

“I know.”

“So? What do you want? We’re on a time limit here.”

“What do you want?”

Claudine tilts her head. Throwing the ball back in her court is a bit of a cowardly move again, but
Maya doesn’t have any experience with this sort of thing, so she’ll give her a pass just this once.

“I don’t know. I thought I hated you two weeks ago.” Maya gives her a sad smile. “I’m willing
to… try whatever it is you want. But I don’t hide, Tendou.”

“No, of course, you don’t.”

Her tone is off and Claudine instantly catches on. “You know about Koharu. God, of course, you
know—Kaoruko is your friend, apparently. Does that bother you? If it does, get a grip. I don’t go
around chasing lesbian scandals on purpose .”

Maya stays quiet for a moment, looking at the wall behind Claudine instead of her face.

“Are you two still…”

“No.”

“Oh.”

“Aw, were you jealous?” Claudine laughs. “Cute. And also bad. We can’t date, Tendou.”

Calling her that is a deliberate choice and she sees Maya’s fingers twitch in response to it, ever so
slightly. Oh, she’s annoyed. Claudine’s smile grows.

“And why not, Saijou?”

“Well, for one, you haven’t asked me out yet,” she says matter-of-factly. “And I might find you
irritating, but I don’t want you to get disowned . So we’re at a bit of a standstill.”

Maya sighs and finally moves over to her own bed. Claudine’s gaze follows her and she crawls into
the covers and stares up at the ceiling.

“I know,” she finally says softly.

Claudine sighs and throws her legs over the edge of the bed. She can barely hear her own breathing
from the buzzing in her head as she watches Maya’s profile. She feels too impulsive around her,
from making rude remarks to what she’s about to do now. She slips off the bed slowly and closes
the distance between her own and Maya’s bed. When she puts her knee on the mattress Maya looks
up at her.

“Scoot,” she whispers.

The surprise on Maya’s features makes her look a bit like a puppy, but she complies without any
questions. Claudine makes herself comfortable under the covers and motions for Maya to turn
around. When she does Claudine throws one arm over her waist and cuddles into her back.

“I’m having a lapse of judgment. You better enjoy it.”

Maya just hums.

“You’re making this harder,” she mutters.

“It’s my specialty.”

She can almost feel Maya roll her eyes before she sinks into her arms and drifts off to sleep.
Claudine stays awake for a bit longer, listening to her breathing.

Just what the hell has she gotten into?

The elimination ceremony is unnecessarily stuffy as usual. At least it gives her an excuse to wear a
ludicrously expensive dress and look pretty while Hiroto is deciding on who to kick from his life.
After she’s done with hair and makeup she walks to the side where Hikari is tapping on her phone
as usual. There’s something different, though.

“Why are you in a suit?” she asks, looking over Hikari’s shoulder at her phone. “ Among Us this
time… Is there a gaming trend you don’t hop on?”

“ League of Legends .”

“Don’t fucking lie to me. You’re Platinum II on League.”

Hikari ignores her. “Karen said I look hot in the suit.”

“Ew.”

“Are you saying I don’t look hot?” Hikari demands all the while murdering someone on screen.

Claudine tugs on her suit lapels a bit and makes a show of raking her eyes up and down. “No,
you’re the hottest.” She kisses her cheek for emphasis and Hikari grins.

“Your girl is glaring daggers at me.”

“Not my girl,” she says, but she glances back to catch her red-handed. Maya averts her gaze. “I
mean… it’s complicated.”

“Oh, I get complicated. I have two.”

“Bragging again.”

“Always.”

With that Hikari pushes her back towards the cameras being set up for the live broadcast. All the
ceremonies are live, something about authenticity. Claudine has to laugh at that—there’s not a
single thing about this show that’s not fake. She sees Hisame talking to Nana in the corner and
waves at them, making a cutting motion on her neck with her thumb. Hisame nods at her darkly.

She takes her place beside Kaoruko wordlessly.

“Oh, come on, are you still mad? I was going to tell you, but then you wouldn’t listen to me when I
was trying to matchmake you two.”

Claudine glances at her and sees her pouting. “And why the hell would you want to do that?”

“I mean you’re both a bit uptight, you’re insecure, she’s repressed. Match made in reality TV
heaven?”

“Shut up.”

Kaoruko laughs.

She’s been through enough of these ceremonies to know what comes next—Hiroto stands in front
of them in his polished suit and smiles as if he’s not picking through potential significant others.
Claudine’s always regarded these sorts of reality shows as incredibly shallow, but there’s
something even more sinister about standing there waiting to get rejected. The humiliation of it is
amplified and she can’t imagine how much it must hurt to get rejected publicly.

Claudine’s all professional and composed, but she’s secretly picking at her nails behind her back,
waiting for all of this to be over so she can sink into her bed and knock out for the night. Or leave.
She hasn’t really considered the possibility of being eliminated.

Hiroto makes his way to the podium in the center where five roses are ordered in a neat line.
Seeing so few of them reminds her that it’s been a while since the show started and that she hasn’t
really achieved what she came for. She glances at Hisame behind the camera and wonders.

“Welcome!” the host starts and Claudine tunes him out. It’s been the same opening speech since
the beginning. She knows how this one will go. She trains her eyes on Maya. She seems entirely
unbothered, even though they all know she must be the one eliminated today.

She keeps staring at Maya’s back as the host goes on, but focuses once Maya’s name is called.

Wait.

Wait, what?

She blinks a few times but the scene before her doesn't change—Hiroto is smiling at Maya like
she's the sun, holding the first red rose between his fingers. Holding it out to her .

Maya is ever the professional but Claudine can see that something's not right about the slope of her
shoulders. She wasn't expecting it. Claudine looks at Kaoruko and receives a confused eyebrow
raise and a shrug in response.

Does he really like her that much to keep her in the competition after she rejected him?

And the most infuriating part of it is that they look like the perfect couple standing next to each
other. Millions of people are rooting for them. Okay, Claudine thinks remembering the rating
reports in Nana's clipboard, maybe not millions . But enough people. It makes her blood boil,
honestly.

Maya reaches for the rose and Claudine yawns, not really caring that people would overanalyze it
on social media later if any cameras catch the action. Looks like nothing is really going to change,
anyway.

Except Maya's hand drops to her side before it touches the rose.

"I'm sorry," she says.

Claudine's eyes nearly bulge out of her skull. She can't be doing this now, during a live broadcast,
right? It's a call to a scandal, she should know better.

And Maya does. But she's also so, so tired.

Hiroto just stares at her, confused.

"I'm sorry, I can't accept it."

"What?" he asks dumbly.

"What?" Claudine hisses under her breath.

Somewhere behind the cameras, Futaba leans towards Nana.

"Uhhhhh?" she prompts.

"I…" Nana returns.

The broadcast keeps going.

"What do you mean?" Hiroto laughs as his panicked eyes glance at the showrunners who are both
just standing there slack-jawed. "I didn't take you for a prankster, Maya."

"I'm not," Her smile may as well cut into his soul with how he backs away. "You're perfectly nice,
it's just that I'm not the girl for you."

"Holy shit," Kaoruko whispers, impressed.

Claudine doesn't hear it. She doesn't hear any of it. The buzzing in her head is back and it's loud .
She can't tell if this is really happening or if she's having some lucid dream.

Her eyes meet Maya's.

"And, well, I might've found someone else."

Claudine could scream but she won't forgive herself if she has a meltdown on camera. Maya is
looking right at her, there's no way to read the situation as anything other than what it is—Maya
offering Claudine a rose instead.

And it means a lot more because it has nothing to do with the format of the show.

"Um…" Hiroto is frantically looking between the two of them, somehow not catching on fast
enough. Claudine ignores him.

"Are you crazy?" she finally speaks.

Maya's mouth twitches into a smirk. "A little bit. Come with?"

She offers her a hand and when Claudine takes it (because of course, she takes it) she can feel how
clammy Maya's palms are and how she's subtly shaking. She can't really blame her, she's not sure
she can even breathe until Maya pulls her away and out of the spotlight.

"Uh," Futaba repeats.

"I… I need a drink."

Next to them Hisame snorts, which turns into giggles and evolves into full-blown laughter.

They keep going with the ceremony while Claudine and Maya are pulled away by Nana.

"I should've known someone would do this," Nana mutters under her breath. Well, she mutters that
and a string of other things that Claudine does her best not to hear or she'll start giggling.

Hisame, now that she's calmed down from her fit, grins at them.

"I hate you both, but I sort of feel vindicated. Take that, stuffy old men on the board! I got my
lesbian version of The Bachelor! "

"Hisame, your aunt—"

Nana gets interrupted by a hand on her shoulder. The woman is instantly recognizable. Claudine
straightens her back and prepares herself for what's to come. She squeezes Maya’s hand
uncomfortably tight, but the girl doesn’t seem to mind.

"You two," Yakumo points between them. Claudine subconsciously shifts towards Maya, even if
she doesn't know what she's looking for. Support? "That was hilarious."

Okay, so she doesn't need that, apparently.

"I know you, Tendou. And you… Claudine, was it?"

"Saijou Claudine."

Yakumo hums. "Nice name," She snaps her fingers. "Okay, I'm going home, I'm starving. Hisame,
tell—"

"Yeah, yeah," Hisame says, waving her off. She knows they're related, but she's still so surprised at
how casual Hisame behaves around Yakumo. "Don't forget brunch. I got it. Am I invited this
time?"

"Of course, my precious tiny troll."

Yakumo ruffles Hisame's hair and leaves.

"What the fuck," Claudine says lowly. Maya covers her mouth with her hand beside her.

"You know what?" Nana barely waits for everyone to turn to her. "We can talk about this later.
Our messages are already getting flooded."

"I thought Junna was in charge of the official accounts? Why do you look so stressed?"

Nana puts her hand on Hisame's head.

"Because when my girlfriend is stressed to the point of screaming at people, I'm stressed. I'm sure
you understand."

Hisame shakes her off. "No, I don't. Koharu doesn't show stress."

Claudine chokes on her own spit. "Wait. Koharu ? You're Koharu's girlfriend? Like, Yanagi
Koharu?"

Hisame nods.

"That bitch didn't even tell me ."

So that's the girl Koahru had been talking to her about in their last conversation more than four
months ago. After that, they'd lost contact with each other and Claudine never reached back,
mostly out of embarrassment. But Koharu definitely knew she was here.

Maya tenses next to her.

"You and—"

"Relax. She has a girlfriend and I have a date."

Maya frowns. "You do?"

"Yes. With you , stupid."

Maya nudges her a bit to show that she's displeased with the teasing. Unfortunately for her, since
she single-handedly wrangled Claudine into yet another lesbian scandal, so she deserves all the
jabs she's going to get.

God, she really needs to stop it with the scandals.

Six months later

Maya holds onto a teacup with both hands, gaze focused on a bus stop on the other side of the
street which sports a rather silly-looking ad of the upcoming season of Heart Shaker . She’s sitting
at a quiet cafe, tucked away from the main street, as she waits for her coffee date to arrive. Not
much of a coffee date, since no one has managed to convince her to drink coffee yet, but she
doesn’t contest it.

“Hey, sorry I’m late, I had a stupid meeting and…” the voice trails off as Maya keeps staring at the
bus stop. “Oh, what the fuck is that?”

Maya looks back at Claudine with a smirk shining on her lips and a giddy feeling in her chest she
always gets when she sees her. Call her a romantic idiot, but she can’t help being enamored with
the girl, sarcastic insults and all.

“Apparently they got enough traction to justify a second season,” she says casually as if she isn’t
losing it internally over this.

Claudine scoffs and takes a seat on the small table, knocking her foot against Maya’s ankle lightly.

“They only got traction because of that stunt you pulled. Do they expect it to happen again?”

“The stunt worked out, though,” Maya says and watches Claudine roll her eyes. “Not everyone can
get a girlfriend that way.”

“The stunt gave Nana a heart attack, you mean,” Claudine counters and stirs the straw into her
coffee just to have something to do with her hands. “And who says I’m your girlfriend?”

It’s Maya’s turn to roll her eyes. “The name for my contact in your phone.”

“Touche,” Claudine mutters.

Maya stops her from potentially puncturing her cup with the straw by taking her hand in her own.
It’s instinct at this point, but it doesn’t stop the warmth that blooms in her chest.

“You look stressed.”

“What gave you that idea?” Maya just stares. “Okay, fine, maybe I’m a little nervous.”

Maya lets her fidget with their intertwined fingers and waits. She doesn’t have to be the paragon of
patience to wait it out – Claudine doesn’t usually take long to voice her concerns, especially when
the concerns are about Maya being irritating.

“I got a callback,” Claudine says finally and Maya smiles.

“I told you you would.”

She scoffs. “Sorry I wasn’t too optimistic, given my recent track record.”

“I wasn’t being optimistic, though. I just knew.”

Claudine throws a sugar packet at her for being a smartass.

“Also, we’re invited to brunch next Saturday,” Maya notes.

“What’s with Yakumo and calling it ‘brunch’, anyway?” Claudine asks, frowning in confusion.
Cute , Maya thinks. “Sometimes it’s at 5pm. That’s dinner. She does it just to fuck with me at this
point.”

“And Hisame,” Maya adds.

“And Hisame. We should really tell her there’s a second season of that mess coming. She probably
won’t know.”

Hisame got, somewhat deservingly, kicked out of the Heart Shaker project because she didn’t stop
the whole ‘lesbian confession scene’ from happening. It’s the most searched for term on YouTube
that has to do with the show.

“Kaoruko’s going to force us to watch it,” Claudine says, with all the enthusiasm of an sleep-
deprived poll worker.

“Certainly. Won’t be as good as our season, though.”

Claudine opens her mouth, presumably to call their season a trash fire, but stops when she sees the
fondness in Maya’s eyes. It’s something that never fails to take her aback.

She sighs and quickly leans over the table to press a kiss to Maya’s cheek.

“No. It won’t.”

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