The Young and Stupid: -- Chapter one.

Idont know what Im doing right now. I said to myself, staring into the mirror of the boys bathroom. Excepttalking to my reflectionBut why?

I puckered my lips with a sigh.

I dont know. I shook my head, pacing the fairly large room.

Pickled berryvalagulum! I made that word up. Peter pepper piper picked a piping hot pepper and pick itgaaahhhh. I grunted, jabbing my foot at one of the stalls and sighed again, dropping it to the ground. I skipped over to the mirror once more and leaned on the counter.

My hands burning, I muttered, twisting the faucet to cold, and stood there. Why did I turn that on? I wondered, forgetting. OH! Thats right! I exclaimed, sticking my burning hand under the running water.

Well, now that I have some time, why dont I introduce myself?

The names Hed. Kimmy Hed.

HAHAHA. Jk. Its Nate Sharits (Pronounced: Share-its). Yeah, stupid last name, but thats what my dads last name was I mean is soI cant really change it till I get married, I guess. At least I dont have my moms last name Mallory. I mean, I wouldnt mind having that last name, but I dont, I have my dads. Plus, Mallory is a girls first name.

Uh, anyway

I sighed, yanking my tingling hand from the water and looked around for a paper towel dispenser, but I couldnt find it.

Whatwhere?

I grumbled, patting my hair down with my drenched hand. My natural black hair was a mess anyway; the water may be able to fix it.

I turned to the mirror again and stuck out my chest, striking a super hero pose. When the cats away, the mice will play! Yeah, Im stupid.

I exhaled, slouching. Then I stuck my tongue out and made a weird soundso weird that if you were an innocent bystander you wouldve thought I passed gas.

I went into a stall and sat on a surprisingly clean toilet. Thats weird. Never have I witnessed a clean toilet in the boys restroom. Ever. This is so weirdnot weird. AMAZING! I leaned back and jabbed my foot at the stall door again. I jumped up and scoped around the room, expecting each stall clean. It even smelled a bit fruity in here.

Then I realized something.

No urinals...

Oh God, no I backed away like there was a rabid dog snarling at me, planting myself against the wall.

Then I heard something that made me realize the worst possible thing.

Why are you in the girls restroom?

I was so preoccupied by the little smelly soaps; I didnt hear her walk in. I didnt answer her. I just stared. She blinked. I blinked.

.........

I ran out of there repeating stupid! over and over and over and ovewell, you get it. How did I not realize I was in the girls bathroom?! I stood there, hoping no one saw me exit.

Nop

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a group of prancing girls walk into the restroom, giggling.

I got out of there just in time. As I was about to run away, my eyes caught site of the boys restroom sign. It was in big bolded letters:

MENS RESTROOM

And there was a poor excuse of an image of a man on the sign.

I rolled my eyes with a groan and decided to wonder hopelessly around this big-ass mall not really hoping to find the group of friends I left to fend for themselves while I went to the wrong bathroom to think. About what? None of your business.

I soon found a nice set of stairs and sat myself down.

-- Chapter Two.

Lets be cute smile, Nate! Darby - my BFF - dropped her head on my shoulder, and nudged me to look down most likely at her phone so she could take a proper picture of us both, and post it on Facebook.

No.

She pouted, getting right up in my ear. Naaaaatteeee!

Daaaarrbbbbbyyy! I mocked back, shoving her, trying to at least look like I was paying attention to what the teacher had to say.

Dont be such a poopy-head, poopy-face.

Dont be such a poopy-head, poopy-face. I mimicked her again.

Stop mocking me! she hissed.

Stop mocking me!

Youre a jerk.

I know.

Just one picture, Nate. Pleeeaassseee.

I flipped her the bird - which I found slightly hilarious as I am wearing an Angry Birds shirt that say Flipping the bird on it.

She didnt huff or show any signs that she was annoyed. I just heard a *click* - a pretty loud one, if you ask me. Everyones head snapped our way, including the teachers.

Whos phone was that?

I pointed to Darby. Her jaw dropped.

WAY TO HAVE MY BACK, BRO.

I just shrugged. I was not getting in trouble for something she did again.

Mrs. Owen smiled at us, but looked at Darby and said, Darby phone. Darby grumbled forking her phone over to Mrs. Owens awaiting hand. She walked over to her desk, opening one of the drawers, setting it in there. You can have it back at the end of class.

Fine. She crossed her arms over her chest not before jabbing me in the side. I poked her in her side too.

Mrs. Owen walked back up to the front of the room. Okay, so before we were so rudely interrupted Shoop, how do I figure this out?

Shoop AKA Anthony inhaled sharply and said, Okay, so you take well, first you have to move all the decimal points to the left

How many times?

Two. And then, you have to...uh, take thirty-two from both sides. And then you divide 200 by twenty, which would beten. Then you have to add one to that because of the-the 32 cents covering the first minute. Which would be eleven minutes.

Correct. Mrs. Owen said. Good job, Shoop.

He slapped his hand down on the desk, and inhaled sharply saying, Ooh, scrub. I honestly think there is some dumb epidemic going around our school, causing all the football players here to say stupid things like scrub or dust bucket or dirty perry or 'hot boy' or, or 'that's hot'. I dont know what any of it means, but then again, I dont really care.

Alright. Sharits. Do number two for us, will ya?

Okay, uhm I looked down at number two. Of course, another word problem. And it was a really hard one. Im bad at writing them into equations, but here goes. The third number is

five less than twice the first. The second number is twice the first number. Twelve less than the first decreased by the third is equal to negative fifteen. Find the first three numbers.

Sonofabitch, why?

Which one would be x?

I sighed. The first one?

Right. Whats the second?

2x.

She nodded. And the third?

2xminusfive?

Yup. THANK GOD. What would the equation be?

CRAP.

Uh...x minus 12minusopen parenthesis 2x minus five, closing parenthesis equals negative fifteen? Or here, to make it more understandable: x-12-(2x-5)=-15

Atta boy. she said as she finished writing what I said down on the board. NowMcCoy.

Darbys neck snapped up. Yes?

Finish it for us.

The look of Shoot me now? shot across her face, but she said, Rightuh And then she somehow managed to finish it correctly. Not saying I doubted her, butshes not that bright.

As soon as she finished it, the bell rang.

Everyones stuff was suddenly all in their bags, and they rushed out of the room to fifth period.

Darby and I were almost out the door when Mrs. Owen called Darby back.

Darby, your phone.

Ohyeah Nate, wait for me.

I sadly did. Im always late for Health, because its on the other side of the school and whenever Darby makes me wait for her, Im insanely late. Ive gotten so many detentions because of this. Darby, hurry. Alright, alright. Thanks, Mrs. Owen. she said up at her, still just standing there, NOT hurrying. Mmhmm. Dont let it happen again. Save it for the bathroom, alright?

Hah. Okay. And then she finally started for the door, but I was already out in the hallway, begging her to walk faster. I honestly dont even know why I wait for her. We have different fifth period classes she has English, which is right down the hall. We end up splitting up as soon as we leave the room. BYE. I snapped, turning around, bolting down the hall. I heard her giggle, as she said, Alrighty. Later, gator. I prayed one of the principals or a teacher wouldnt catch me. But no. Almost halfway there, I heard, Hey! Whos running? I immediately stopped, unintentionally. I shoulda kept running. Mr. Shultz was really close to me. I whipped around, and said, That was me gotta go bye. and took off again. Im pretty sure well talk later if Im really late again. Unfortunately, I heard the bell ring when I was only five seconds away from the Health room - meaning I was late. Nate, youre late again. Mrs. Smith said not even looking up, as soon as I hopped into the room. I know, I know. But Lemme guess. Darby again? she said, eyes following me as I found my seat. I nodded, but before I could tell him the same ol story Ive told her before she said, Morning or after school ohwait. This is yourfourth time, is it, being late. She looked up. Tuesday/Thursday school. Ugghh. I hate Tuesday/Thursday school. They are so boring. You sit in Mr. Yates room for two hours after school. How would I know? Ive attended these lovely events only once before it wasnt for being late to class. One day last year, I was sick, so my mom called me in. And Darby stayed the night, and wasnt feeling up for going to school either. So I called her in, and apparently they knew it was me and not her dad. And -- did you know they send the cops out to find you if you dont show up? Well, they do.

Anyway, long story short, we got caught, and both had a Thursday school - when Mr. Brewer the boringest teacher in the world held it. It was hell. My dismay mustve shown clearly, because she just said, Sorry, dude. I slunk back in my chair as she continued on with how to find your BMI. Sometimes I really despise Darby. She gets me in trouble so much. Butof course I knew that I wouldve been late anyway, so I cant really blame her for this. And I get her in trouble a lot too. But still. --And I was like Oh, thats me gotta go bye. and ran off. Oh, my God. Darby snickered. I decided to tell her about my little run-in with the principal at lunch. Yeah, but I was still late - and now I have a Tuesday/Thursday school. She looked like she felt bad for me. Oh, broGod, that sucksAnd Im not gonna be there. Whatta shame. Damn my luck. I said, shaking my fist to the heavens. Hah. Sorry. Maybe I can tell Mrs. Woerner off again, and get one, too. Watch you get suspended instead. Id shit myself. She laughed, because she knew it was true. She has a tendency to take things a bit too far. But I swear, if she tells me to shut up one more time me and her are gonna tussle. --Thursday school sucks bunghole. Yeah, THURSDAY. That means Mr. Brewer. Just my luck. It wasnt just me, though. Five other misfits were here, too. Darby gave me her notebook and told me that if I loved her enough Id write to her and draw her stuff in it. I wasnt really feeling up for it at first I even did my homework instead but after a while I finally started to. I just wrote and drew anything that came to mind. And since I had color pencils and, I guess loved her a little bit, it looked BEAST.

Darby's a cool kid, just so ya know. Weve been 'BFF's since freshman orientation, no joke. We were both hella confused and had no idea what to do, and we got put in a group of six together, plus a 'Senior Leader'. Everyone basically paired up with someone they felt comfortable enough to do so with, and we were the only two left who didn't have a partner, and our Senior Leader stuck us together. I'm kinda glad she did, because it's been almost a year and a half now, and we're still going strong. About ten minutes in, I heard the door open and Mr. Brewer say, Maggie, youre late. I didnt look up at first, because, honestly, I didnt really care. Until Mr. Brewer told her, Sit at that table, the one next to Sharits you do know Sharits, right? Sharits. he said, now directing it at me. I finally looked up. Raise your hand. Make yourself known. Before I could, Maggie said, Yeah, I know him. How does she know me? I dont even know her? Do I have my very own stalker? ( :D ) Which side? Your choice. She nodded, walking over, taking a seat on the left. But as soon as she sat down, she scooted over to the right seat, now closer to me. And before I could go back to drawing Darby a portrait of herself, I heard a PSSSSSTTT. I reluctantly looked to my left at Maggie, who Im assuming made the noise. I raised my brow, letting her know I heard her and was somewhat listening. She leaned closer, but didnt say anything. I waited. She sat there. I waited some more. And then finally she said, hi. REALLY? Hey? Thats all. She jerked herself back into a normal, sitting position, looking down at her book. What the math? Alright. I slowly went back to drawing for Darby. A couple minutes passed before there was a loud bang out in the hallway. Everyone jerked themselves up. Mr. Brewer even jumped. What the Devil-- He walked over to the door and

looked out it. He looked back at all of us. Everyone stay in your seat, and dont even think about moving. He walked out. I already knew what was happening. Ben Heilman ran in proving I was right. He gave me the sup nod, jogging over to his seat (Hes been here so many times, he has his own), and quickly sat down, pulling a notebook out, dropping it on the desk. He snatched out a pencil, but instead of doing it gracefully, it flew out of his hand. He dived after it, falling out of his seat. Me and Maggie both laughed and said, Ha. FAIL. Then we both grinned at each other. I think I just found a new friend. I stuck my hand out for her to take. She grabbed it and we shook hands. Nathan Sharits. I introduced myself. She smiled. Maggie DeBella. I frowned. My last name is poop compared to yours. Hmmit kinda is. She smiled smugly. I knew at that exact moment that me and her could be the best of friends. Mr. Brewer suddenly walked in, and sat at his desk. I dont even think he noticed Ben. It wouldve stayed that way, but Ben had to ruin it and sneezed. BenjaminHave-have you been here the whole time? He nodded slowly, looking rather confused. Uhmyeah...? He narrowed his eyes at him. Alright. WowI wouldve been caught if I did that.

Finally, two hours and more than half a notebook later, it was finally, finally over, and I could go home. Yaaayyy. Not like it really mattered to anyone. No one was gonna be home. Id normally pick up my little sister, Tilly (She's four) after school from Mrs. Jacobs her babysitter, but since I had detention, shes probably with my mom. And my mom was currently at school or college, whatever. She went back because she got pregnant with me during her sophomore year (of college, not high school) and had to drop out, never finishing.

While were on the subject of me being born ruining peoples lives, I feel I should tell you my mom and dad never married before or after I was conceived and birthed. So I guess that makes me a bastard child. Cool. Didnt ever really plan on going to Heaven anyway. I guess you could say Tilly and my older brother Colton (He's eighteen) are also bastard children. I honestly think they're never going to get married. Not that they should. They're fine just the way they are. And my dad, he has a, what he calls, a REAL job. I wouldnt consider it that, but, hey, if you think being a carpenter is as life changing as being a doctor, then go right ahead. Oh, and Colton's at his girlfriend's house, having relations, most likely. I try not to think of it. The thought of him violating that poor girl sickens me. So, anyhow, it only took me about ten minutes to walk home, so I was quickly reunited with my dog, Katrina. She's a husky, and has nothing better to do. We just sat in my room and watched Adventure Time, eating Launchables. I'd usually be doing my homework right now - for my first class - but I did it all during those two dreadful hours I was stuck at school, 'member? I'm surprised Darby's not here right now. She's always over here after school. But for some reason she's not today. I think her Granpa died a while ago, so she might be at his funeral. Or she's just sitting at home. Probably doesn't even know I'm home. I texted her, all like 'Sup!?' and all dat. She was all 'Yo, ski ski, man. Sitting at my home, dawg. ARE YOU HOME YET???' And since I was I sent back 'YEEAAAAHHH BOIIII. Are YOU?' And she was. Anyway, she's over now, and we're doing her homework. But I doubt any of it is going to be right. Darby knows a guy and he has supplied us with some smot. Fun stuff, man.

-- Chapter Three
She ended up staying the night, and when my mom got home she took me, Darby, and Tilly to Taco Bell and me and Darb got an XXL Chalupa each; Tilly got a ninety-nine cent taco supreme, and my mom got a normal Chalupa. It was goooooooood. And somehow she didn't notice Darby and I weren't completely 'there.'

Mostly because we always act like we're stoned. Oh, and guess whaaaaaaattt. I saw that Maggie chick at Taco Bell. She was there with who Im guessing was either her mom or older sister. I think older sister, because I've seen her around the high school. I didn't really expect her to acknowledge my existence - either of them - but Maggie sure did. She actually ran up to me, and hugged me, shouting, "HI, NATE!" and then she turned to the girl she was with, and said, "Emmy, this is that guy I was talking about!" And 'Emmy' said, "OH, HE IS CUTE!" The whole time, I just like...?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!???!1!1/1/1. I'M CUTE? PSSSSH. More like SEXXYYY. jk. And then after holding onto me for ten more seconds, she finally let go and ran up to Emmy and they ordered their food. After they got their stuff, Maggie forced Emmy to choose the table closes to us, and she kept talking to me the whole time. She completely ignored 'Emmy' and the people I came here with and locked in on me. It was definitely odd, is my point. Can't say I expected less from Maggie - she looked like the type of girl who was really forward. --On the way to school the next day, while we were walking, Darby was quiet the whole time. It was kinda weird, because she's always got something to say. Always. I didn't know if I should ask if something was wrong or what. I did anyway. "Are...are you okay?" She shrugged. "Oh, yea. I'm fine." I stepped in front of her making her slam into me. "Lies. Are you bummed because you missed out on two more hours of hell? 'Cause if that's it, trust me. You didn't miss much." "No, it's not that. It's just..." She stood there for a seconds, and then stepped to the left, walking passed me. I turned, following her, waiting to see if she'd continue. "Boy, that Maggie

chick's somethin', ain't she?" Didn't know if she was doggin' on her or what. Knowing Darby, doggin'. "I know, right? She's definitely something." She stopped for a second, and then walked on. "Is she a good something?" Oh, I think I see................................. "Oh, uh..." I shrugged. "I don't know. I only met her one time before that." "When?" "Thursday school." "Yeah? Well...what...what do you think of her?" Well, this is...uh...awkward. I always knew Darby kinda liked me. But...I dunno. I don't really...feel the same, y'know. I mean, there's nothing wrong with her. I just...like her as a friend and that's it. But I'm sure if I absolutely had to, I could make myself like her like that more... That sounds bad. It's not like she's not likeable...but...yea. SILENCE HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR TOO LONG. DO SOMETHING. I shrugged again. "Uhm...she's...she seems cool, but...I don't know...What-what do you want me to say?" "Uh...hah...That...I don't know - You know what?" she said, quickly. "Forget I said anything, all right? I was just wondering." "Uhm...all right." And then we walked the rest of the way in silence. --"Hey, you have D lunch, right?" I looked down at Maggie, not knowing if I should answer her truthfully or not. I shoved my jacket into my locker. "Uh...yeah. Do you?" She grinned, nodding. "Yup." "...Cool."

She nodded again, looking down at her planner. "Uh-huh. What class do you have before lunch?" "Health." "Oh, cool. Mrs. Smith, right?" I nodded, grabbing my Algebra book. "What do you have?" "Art." she said. "Matthews. Do, do you wanna sit with me and Emmy? We could walk together, y'know, since the Art and Health room are, like, right next to each other. Or meet up." "Oh...I usually sit with Darby." She scrunched up her nose. "Darby? Who's Darby? Oh - that girl you were with at Taco Bell?" I nodded again, shutting my locker. "Well...she, she could come with. I doubt Emmy would mind. I don't." Hmm. I couldn't tell if she was just saying that or actually wanted her to. Either way, I ended up saying I'd think about it. She wanted to walk around with me for the remainder of Morning Walk Around, but I told her I had to meet up and talk to Darby about eating with them. I left out the part that if she didn't want to, I wasn't going to. At our lunch table, it's just me and her. And if she didn't wanna, and I still went ahead anyway, she'd be sitting alone, and that's not nice of me. I almost got away alone, but Maggie said, "Oh, do you want me to come with you? Y'know, extra push." Not really... But I didn't want to be mean, and said, "Suuurrreeee." We found Darby by the English computer lab/library. Yes, English classes have their own computer lab. There's one for English, Math, and Science. "Hey, Darby-Darb." I said hopping on her back, which didn't hurt to do, because she didn't have a bookbag on her back; she had a HUGE purse draped over her shoulder instead. She groaned in a laughing way. "Hello, Nathan - oh...and Maggie." She dipped her head down, curtsying.

"Good morning!" Maggie said big smile and all. As we started walking, Maggie jumped in between Darby and I and somewhat turned to Darby and said, "Hey, Nate and I were wondering if you wanted to sit with us at lunch today." 'NATE AND I'? I...US? NO. I quickly shot Darby a look, jabbing my arm behind Maggie, poking Darby in the side. Darby looked uncomfortable - she even did this thing where she tucked her hair behind her ear, and kept doing it over and over - but said, "Oh, uh...well...You both wanna know, eh? Well...yeah. Sure. I guess." Noooooooooooo. Daaaarrbbbbbbbyyyy!!!!! I was hopping she'd say no, because then I could say, 'Well, if she doesn't want to, I can't.' Y'know, be the good friend. But I knew Darby was too nice to say no. To other people. She's a bitch to me. >:O "Great!" Maggie clapped her hands together. "Alright, well, I say - What class do you have before lunch?" "English." "What teacher?" "Oh, Davis." "Aw, man. He's awesome. I love him. My favorite teacher - hands down. Oh, uh, since you have a different class - " "MAGGIE!" Emmy screamed from a junior bench. "Oh, well, just look for us, alright? We sit over on the left side, by the first line." "MAGGIE!" she screamed again. "I gotta go. Later, dudes." She made a peace sign, running over to Emmy, hopping down next to her. Darby and I continued walking, not saying a word to each other. "You're okay with that, right? You know, sitting with her." "Oh, yeah, yeah." she said with a nod. "Perfectly fine." "Well, good. 'Cause if you're not, I could just tell her no." "Oh, no. Don't do that. That's not fair to you."

"Fair to me?" I asked. "How'd that not be fair to me? More like not fair to her. I don't, I don't care if I sit with her or not. I'm not even sure if we're friends yet. Now, you and I. We've been best buds for a loooong time." She grinned, and then frowned. "Well, I mean...you like her, right? That's why you agreed to sitting with her." I sighed. "I've only known her for like three days, Darb. Haven't hung out with her for more than three minutes. Can't like her." She shook her head. "It's possible. I mean, it only took me a couple hours to like yo-...Oh hey, look. Is that a bathroom? I gotta pee." She darted into the girl's bathroom. Godddddddddddd. No. Darby. Shhhhhhhhhhh. I leaned up against the wall, waiting for her to 'finish'. "I don't like her like that, Darb." I said after a few seconds. "At least I don't think I like her like that." "You don't think you like her?" I shrugged. I really didn't. Like, seriously. I just met her. I can't like her yet. It takes me a while to really start to like someone like that. "Maybe if she wasn't so..." "...her?" I heard her say with a laugh. "Yeah." She didn't say anything for a while, and then, "Nate...Do...do you think you...could...could ever like...me in that way?" I honestly didn't know. She always randomly asks me this, like once every month. I swear. I always say the same thing. "Maybe." "So no?" I could see she was looking in the mirror. "Is something - what's wrong with me? What don't you like? Am I not...pretty enough for you? What is it?" I sighed. "C'mon, Darby. You know I think you're gorgeous." Which is true. She ain't too bad on the eyes. "And you know I love you. You're my best friend. You're a cool cat and everything. It's just..." How do I put this nicely? "I don't know." I heard her sigh. "Okay...What time is it?"

"Ah..." Before I could get the rest out, the Five Minute Bell rang, signaling it was 7:35 and we had five minutes until the Tardy Bell rang. "Was that the Tardy Bell?" she asked. "Nope." I said, shaking my head. "Alrighty, well." She stepped out of the bathroom, hair now up in a tight ponytail. She struck a super hero pose, and said, "Leggo?" thumb pointing in the direction we were going to walk. I hate the tern 'LEGGO.' It's so annoying and stupid. But since it was my dear Darby saying it, I was okay with it. Anyway, I feel, for some reason, I should tell you what classes I have, so if I or anyone talks about them, you'll somewhat have a clue. Alright: First period: Mr. Brewer, American History Second: Study Hall Third: Study Hall again. (I have two because I took Summer Gym. And I'm only so lucky to have one after the other. Though, it's actually really boring. Most of the time I have nothing to do, so I just sit there for two periods. I try not to do any of my homework at home, so I can do it there, but...I get bored at home. Yes, bored enough to do homework.) Fourth: Algebra Two, Mrs. Owen Fifth: Health, Mrs. Smith Sixth: English, Mr. Davis And seventh: Biology, Ms. Otte Fun, fun, eh? Anyway, Maggie found me after Health and latched onto my arm, dragging me behind her to the cafeteria. I kept praying I'd see Darby on the way there, so I could grab her and drag her with me. But I didn't. It took a few minutes, but we finally reached the cafeteria. She jerked me to a stop, like she was searching for the table they usually sit at. And then we heard, "Maggie! Nate! Over here." Maggie smiled over at Emmy and pulled me over to their table. Emmy pushed the chair across from the table out for me to sit in. But I was

kinda paranoid that if she could reach all the way over here with her foot she could probably kick me in the nuts if I did the wrong thing. I dropped my bookbag down on the ground next to the chair. But before I sat down, Maggie dropped her bag in the seat next to Emmy, and grabbed my hand, saying, "Have you ever been in this line before?" pulling me towards it. OFF ME, FIEND. "Nope." I said, shaking my head, following her. "Me and Darby always sit on the right side, and alternate between the second and third - " I dropped her hand, not really wanting it in mine. " Should-shouldn't we wait for Darby? I don't think she knows where you sit." I tried to stall, stopping five feet short of being in the lunch line. Maggie smiled at Emmy, but shook her head at me. "Nah, I'm sure she'll find us. She knows what your stuff looks like, right? Then she'll find us, I'm sure." People were already piling in behind them, and there's more people in here now. She's not gonna find us - not right away. I don't want to leave her hangin' and wandering around like a little cute lost puppy. "Well...yeah. But what if she doesn't? I don't want her to get like lost looking for us..." Maggie laughed a little, and pulled me into the line, right between her and Emmy. She stayed wrapped around my arm and rested her head on my shoulder. I instantly wanted to get her off me. That's Darby's shoulder. She always puts her head on this one. She's always on that side of me. "She'll be fine, dude. Chill." No, I need you to get off of me, weirdo, and then maybe I'll chill. I made a weird noise, and shrugged. I really didn't want to be mean to Maggie, Emmy, or Darby. Definitely not Darby. I didn't want any of them to get mad at me. But before I knew it, the line moved about twenty feet up, and Maggie was handing me a tray. Geez, that was fast. I felt so bad. I kinda feel like I abandoned Darby. I hope she'll find us, because I didn't really want to sit alone with them. Well, Emmy's fine, doesn't really say much, but Maggie - God, she's just too much. When we made it back to the table, I didn't sit down right away. I scoped for Darby, eventually finding her, standing by the door, looking around. I yelled for her a few times, but I didn't think

she heard me. So I ran over to her. I didn't even tell Maggie or Emmy. I just took off. Well, I needed her over there now. "Oh, hey, Nate." she grinned when I ran into her - literally. I couldn't stop myself in time. She says my name weird. She always does, and I always notice it when she does it - I just don't say anything. It's a good weird, though. She kinda says it like it should be italicized and bolded. No one else says it like that. It's cool. Kinda makes me feel special. Anyway, I grabbed onto her arm and said, "Thank God, you're here. Maggie is driving me INSANE." That made her smile even bigger, which made me smile too - she has a nice smile. "Yeah? How?" I told her everything, walking with her into the second line, not really caring for Maggie or Emmy anymore. Well, I'm sure they saw me. They don't need an explanation for everything. Darby kept smiling the whole time. She's evil deep down, I swear. It didn't take as long to get through the line this time, because almost everyone had been through already. Even though I really wanted to take my time getting back...but then I thought about my lunch sitting there at the table with them, so I hurried back, dragging Darby behind me. And I'm sure it looked bad - Maggie probably thought I was racing back to see her. -_And our table was missing a chair, one that was vital for Darby to sit in. So I snatched her one from the table next to us. The whole time, Maggie and Emmy didn't even talk to us, which I was somewhat grateful for. They just sat on their side of the table and giggled to each other. It was annoying. But hey, at least they're not bugging me. I shouldn't have said that. A couple minutes later, Emmy nudged Maggie and then looked up at Darby. "Hey - Darby, right? I kinda want to get some more fries. Wanna go back up in the line with me?" "Not really..." "HAHA..." That was me laughing. Oh, Darby. You're funny. But Emmy gave her the 'puppy eyes' and said, "Pleeeaassseeee? I don't wanna go up alone, and Maggie won't go with me. Pleeaaaassseee???" God, I wanted to smack her with my tray. I'm sure Maggie was making her go. I kinda want to hit her with my tray too.

"...Fine." Darby sighed, getting up. Emmy grinned, grabbing her arm, pulling her into the line. I just thought: NO DARBY PLZ COME BACK PLZ I LOVE YOU NO NO PLEEEEEAAAASSSEEEE DONT LEAVE ME WITH HER NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. "So, uhm..." Maggie cleared her throat. "Emmy's kinda been bugging me about this for the last, like, two days, and...I just kinda thought: 'Eh, why not,' ya know? So..." She sighed, trying to figure out how to word it. No. Don't word it. Don't even say it. I don't even wanna know. No. Shut up. NO. "So, I was wondering - I don't usually ask this, but...I know I've only known you for three days, but...ya wanna...go out, or something?" NO. NO. WHY. NO. I WAS TRYING TO AVOID THIS. NO. GOD WHY. I mean, she's cute and everything. But...she's way too forward, and...it's odd. If she didn't talk to me first, I probably wouldn't have even considered talking to her - let alone being her friend or...or boyfriend...honestly. But then she said, "I mean...I don't know if I should be saying this, but most guys see this as a plus...I'd probably do stuff with you. Like...anything." Oh. I reconsidered. I know. I shouldn't have. But...hey, if she's willing...Not like I'm getting anything from anyone else. No one halfway decent is offering. It's all hoes. Maggie doesn't really look like a hoe, but...she may just be. But still...I shouldn't just say yes for that reason. It's a bad reason. And Darby doesn't like her at all. "Alright." YEAH THAT'S RIGHT. I SAID YES. I'M NOT PROUD BUT SHIT. WHO CARES. NOT ME. NOPE. I'M PROBABLY GONNA GET SOME SOON, SO HA. SUCK MY DICK BITCH. Oh no wait. Maggie's gonna do that, HA. ........................Darby is not gonna be happy about this...............darn........................... But...she's willing, so...oh well.

And Maggie seemed to be happy with my answer, because she grinned really big. --ohmahgawd. When she said 'anything' she really meant anything. THIS GIRL IS A HOE. It was...it was...shocking. I swear - not even a day later, when she came over to my house for the first time EVER - we weren't even in my room for a second before she was all, "Hey, you'll never believe how flexible I am - WATCH." And then she did some damn toe touch thing, and said, "Omg, we're in the perfect position to do Doggy Style!" And then she was all, "Hey, I have no gag." LIKE WHAT THE GOB. And then she proved it. SHE REALLY DOESN'T HAVE A GAG, GUYS. I'M GOING TO HELL, NO DOUBT. But we haven't had sex yet, if that means anything. I mean...it has only been about a week. I'm not THAT easy. But Maggie may just be. She suggests we should do it like all the time. And I feel like such a girl, though, being the one going all 'Noooo. Let's wait.' ...I'm a guy. I shouldn't even know the meaning of the word 'wait' or of its existence. Oh, and I still have yet to tell Darby. But it's only been a week. Probably not gonna last much longer...just saying. Because, honestly, if this is all it's going to be, then...I don't know if I really want to keep dating her. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH WE'VE DONE AND HOW MANY TIMES IN THIS LITTLE WEEK? We don't just 'hang out' it's always something else. We don't just sit there and talk and watch TV and all that jazz. The TV may be on, but we aren't watching it. I know this is gonna sound really weird, but...I kinda want a relationship like me and Darby have, where we actually talk and go to movies and play board games and watch TV and have G rated fun. MAGGIE WON'T EVEN EAT IN FRONT OF ME. It's so stupid. It bugs me. Whenever I sit with her at lunch, she only gets things she knows she gonna 'look good' eating. Pizza? Nope, sorry. Soup? Hell no. Anything else? I'm sorry, what? Like...SERIOUSLY. GET OVER YOURSELF. My DICK has been in your mouth. Trust me, if THAT didn't look unattractive, NOTHING WILL. ---

Darby's over now. We're sitting on my couch 'watching' Seinfeld, playing Sims Social, and eating Easy-Mac. Well, Darby wasn't paying much attention to the game. (Neither of us were watching TV) She was too busy letting Katrina lick her feet. Yeah. It was just lovely. And I'm guessing it tickled, because she was laughing a lot. Which made me laugh because she looked like an idiot. "Hey, I'm peeing at your house." Darby said with a laugh. (She was referring to the game, btw.) "Ha...cool...You know what's weird...well, kinda weird, but not really - Dude, you're like trippin'. Stop it." She laughed. "Why?" "I don't know. I think it's because I broke your guitar - Oh, hey, ha, I just kissed you." "WHAT?" "I DON'T KNOW." Yeah, I do. Did it on purpose. "I didn't mean too. It...it just happened. I meant to click 'apologize' and clicked 'Romantic kiss' instead. But you accepted it - AWW. YOU HAVE A HEART OVER YOUR HEAD - I'm doing it again." *laugh* "Why?" "Because I wanna - OH MY GOD. WE'RE DATING." "OH MY GOD. SERIOUSLY?" "YEAH. I just sent you a request." "Shall I accept?" "You shall." "I just accepted." "Good - oh, damn. I just insulted you...we're not dating anymore." "WAY TO GO, NATE." "HEY - SHUT IT UP. I just apologized...and we're dating again. I'm gonna go take a shit in your toilet."

"Classy." "Indeed." SEE. THIS IS WHAT I WANT WITH MAGGIE. Or maybe I just need to dump Maggie and find someone like Darby. Or maybe I should just date Darby, like wtf why not. We basically are already. We're married on MySpace, our Sims are dating, and we're in a 'complicated' relationship on Facebook...she's also my sister on Facebook, which is why we say it's 'complicated'. So what if I don't really like-like her. I could. It wouldn't be that hard. She's a fucking beast. -I never realized how many classes I had with Maggie until now...almost all of them. I swear to God. All of them - besides Heath, Bio, and my first Study Hall. Swear. To. Fucking. God. I feel kinda bad. Knowing now that I've somewhat known her for half a year now. She's noticed me, but I never noticed her...I don't think so, anyway. And...you know what's kinda buggy? I think I'm actually starting to...like Maggie...like...as a...as a girlfriend. It's so weird. I just realized I'm emphasizing a lot right now. Like...a lot. But yeah. Even when she wants to hold hands and all that, I don't secretly want to shove her into a trashcan. I think why I'm starting to like-like her is because...well...when she came over, like...yesterday and she was all up for blowjobs and all that, I was just like, "Uh...actually, can we just...talk? And I dunno...watch TV?" I know. I'm a faggot. Blah blah. But she got all :DDDDDD!!!! And was like, "OF COURSE. AWW YOU JUST WANNA HANG OUT? THATS SO SWEET. OHMY. THIS IS GREAT. ASDFGHJKL<3" Yeah. And we just hung out and I actually talked to her, and we had many great conversations. It was great. <3 Oh, but...I still haven't told Darby yet...I want to but...I can't. I don't want her to get mad or anything. I keep thinking what if she gets really mad? And won't talk to me? I'll cry.

Well...maybe not. But...something like that. Then again, if she just stops being my BEST friend because of that, maybe I shouldn't even be friends with her...not saying I wouldn't miss her, because I would. Nah, I'd probably break up with Maggie, and go fight for my woman. Well...DARBY'S AMAZING. Now's a perfect example of how: We're sitting in Science - pretty pumped, last class of the day, YA KNOW - and it was Mole Day y'know, the basic measuring unit in chemistry, the molecule. I didn't really listen to why it has its own day, but, hey, we get to eat food in class. It's great. Anyway, so me and Darb were working together on this worksheet all about 'finding the molar mass' and we were just talking about random things - stupid things. Loudly. (I had completely forgotten about Maggie. I always forget she exists whenever I have a class with Darby. But Maggies not here today; shes at home, sick. Boo, right? +: ) But, not like it matters, shes not in this class with us. I guess I was just saying And I was just like, "I wonder if we annoy Ms. Otte." - because we're constantly asking her to come over and help us. Darby just laughed and said, "Yeah - Hey, Ms. Otte, do you hate us?" That made me laugh, and I said, "Would you like to disown us?" And Ms. Otte laughed with us - because she's cool like that - and said, "Has that always been an option? Yes, please." But then she was all, "I'm just joshin' ya. You guys are pretty cool." Me and Darby both cheered like this was a sign from God that it was okay to keep on keepin' on. And anyway, that wasn't the only example of why I need Darby in my life. So, about ten minutes later, we were still working on the paper. And there was this loud ass bird outside. As soon as I realized it wasn't going to shut up anytime soon, I said to Darby, "Hey, Darby, go tell your mom to be quiet." Then, after laughing a little, Darby said, "Nahh. What if she disowns me? I can't handle that, man." And...I don't know. I thought it was hilarious.

We weren't the only ones who found that hilarious, though. We got half the class laughing with us. EVEN THE TEACHER. So...see. We're great together.

-- Chapter Four
My brother is a player. He has three girlfriends. THREE. And they all know about the other girls. WHAT THE FUCK.? HOW? He's so gross and disgusting. "But yeah," he said, BRAGGING. (This is before I knew they all knew, bytheway. "Ashley wants me be her first." *stupid guy laugh* "...cool. Wait. What about Maddie?" The girl who I thought was his ONLY girlfriend. "Oh, she's okay with it." And that alone made me go: o_+? WHAT? "WHAT? She's okay with it?" *nod* "What the - how...I just...what?" I couldn't say anything. What is wrong with them? Especially Ashley. She should not want him in her. EW. That...ew. No. He shouldn't be anyone's 'first'. He's so grody. "Yeah," he said. "But, get this - you remember Jordan, right?" "Sadly...why?" "Well, I'm datin' her, too." "Good God, man...what...? I just...And they're...Get out of my room." I pointed to the door. "Heh, heh, heehh. Why? Jealous?" "JEALOUS? Why would I be - No. Youre just annoying me. GO." *slams door in his face.* Coltons an idiot. Darby said shaking her head, also not approving. Oh, yeahshes over right now. And heard that whole little conversation.

I fucking know, right? I sat myself down next to her on the floor. She handed me my controller, still shaking her head. Were playing video games right now. JEALOUS? I went on. He thinks ImJEALOUS? No. Youre dumb, almost as dumb as your little hoes. RIGHT? Hes stupid. Theyre all stupid. I hope he gets them all pregnant at the same time. Thatll be the day. I said with a laugh. And why him of all people? Hes so ew. GOD, RIGHT? Thats what Im sayin. Hes soColton. RIGHTbutyeah. Hey, did I tell you about that Luke kid? What he said to me? Luke Hefflefinger? I snorted. HEFFLEFINGER? She puckered her lips. Yes. HEFFLE YES OR NO? Damnno. What? What did Hefflefinger say to you, hmm? Nate, stop. she laughed. And when she started to tell me again, she couldnt. She snorted and started laughing againwhich made me laugh. We laughed about it for, Id say, almost five minutes. Alright seriously. Whatd he say? She narrowed her eyes at me. Youre not gonna make fun of his last name? Nope. I shook my head. I really wanna know. Tell me. Okay, she said slowly. He came up to me today in English, and was all Blah, blah, blah. I didnt really listen. I mean, hello? Were playing Super Mario Bros. I cant listen and play at the same time. And I said yes. CARP. WHAT? And you said yes? She nodded. Toto what? YOU WERENT EVEN LISTENING? NATE. DARBY. Just tell me again.

She shook her head. Nope. DARBY. Okay, fine. Hehe asked me out. WHAT? WHAT? HELL TO THE MOTHERFUCKING NO. WHATTHEFUCK. WHAT? NATE. STOP FUCKING CUSSING. my mom screamed from the living room. SORRY...Too bad youre mine? DID YOU TELL HIM THAT? She grinned, and then nodded. AND HE STILL ASKED YOU OUT? WTF DARBY? I dont know! I said no at first, but he kept asking why not over and over again. Why not? Why not, Darby? Well, why not? Come on, Darby. Why not? IT WAS SO ANNOYING. So, I just-I just said okay. Okay. Well. Thats better. I mean, he had to keep bugging her over and over that means she didnt want to, yknow. Which is great. I know, I know. I dont like her like that, so why am I trippin balls? BECAUSE. Even though shes not mine, she still kinda is. Duh. Im just possessive like that. Not with just anyone, though. It seems to just be Darby. Likeseriously. The first time I talked to her, saw how much of a beast she was - I had already mentally claimed her. Shes mine. No one else can have her. HE NEEDS TO BACK THE FUCK OFF. Boo. I dont wanna play anymore. I whined, dropping my controller down. I dropped by head into her lap and fake cried. DARBY, WHY? WHY WOULD THE GODS LET THIS HAPPEN? She just laughed, pausing the game and started playing with my hair. And it felt niiiccceee. Immediately, my dick was just like HAVE SEX WITH HER but I was all noo. go back to bed, bro. But he wouldnt. I swear. My dick is such a dick sometimes. I turned over onto my other side, wrapping my arms around her waist. I swear I almost started falling asleep right then and there. But then she stopped. I wanted to cry. Whywhy do you even care?

I shrugged as if the answer could not be any clearer. Because youre mine? I picked up her hand, dropping it back onto my head. Do that thing again. She did. After a couple more seconds she shook her head, stopping the playing-with-hair thing. Butnot really. I meanyou dont like me like that, though. I shrugged again. Maybe I do. No, you dont. You dont know what I feel. Shoot Im a guy. I dont even know what Im feeling. Ooh. Shes playing with my hair again. Now I know what Im feeling tired and amazing. Butforeal. Maybe its because shes not available anymore or just because Im now realizing my love for her that has always been there.? Im going with the second one. Exactly. she said, leaning down, KISSING MY MUTHAFUCKIN FOREHEAD. I wanted to yank her back down and have her do it about 20,000,000,007 more times. Sweet Jesus. Do that again. I pulled myself up for her again, but she laughed, pushing me back down. YOURE A TEASE. I screamed up at her. HELL IS FILLED WITH MEAN GIRLS LIKE YOU. She laughed her pretty laugh again, but didnt say anything. She leaned back, laying down. I quickly moved so I was laying on her little belly, because well, her vagina was like RIGHT THERE, so AND OH SHIT I FORGOT IM DATING MAGGIE. oh fuck. oops. Oh well. No, not oh well. SHES MY GIRLFRIEND. I shouldnt be huggin on Darby like this. BUT SHES SO COMFY. And shes playing with my hair. Maggie doesnt do that. Well, she tried to one time, but she fucked it up. Darby does it a certain way. Its nice. Goddddd. I dont want her to date him. Or anyone, for that matter. She needs to just stay single forever. That way Ill never have to worry about her getting taken away from me. >:D It felt like we laid there for hours, but Im sure it was more like ten minutes. It was nice. I wouldve feel asleep on her, but my mom barged in and was all, HEY KIDS. DO YA LIKE VIOLENCE? Nahh. Im kidding. She didnt say that. She said, HEY KIDS. DO YA WANT SOMETHING FROM BURGER KING?

We did, so we were all, YEA-UUHHHHH. But we didnt feel like going with, so we just told her what we wanted and she went and got it. Anyway, we wouldve stayed in that position until she got back, but Darby said she needed to go take a shower, because she stinked. She smelled fine to me, but whatevs. Plus, I might get to see her naked, heh heh. NO. I HAVE MAGGIE. But Ive already seen Maggie naked. Never seen Darby, though. But still Meh. That didnt stop me from stealing her clothes and her towel out of the bathroom while she showered. I sat myself against the wall, crisscross applesauce, with her clothes in my lap. I waited for my evil plan to unfold. . . . . She is taking way too damn long. Its been, what, five minutes? She needs to hurry the eff up. My mom will be home soon, and this wont be as much fun then. Im pretty sure she took Tilly with her. And I think my dads at work, and Coltons at one of his girlfriends houses, Im sure HEY SHES DONE. Seconds passed and then I heard her screech, NATE. NOT FUNNY. Oh, but it is. I said as she poked her head out. She scowled, and stuck her leg out and then pulled it back in. There. Now give me my clothes now. Doesnt count.

Naaaaatttteeeeee. Daaaarrrrbbbbyyyy. She pouted. I pouted back. Ooh. I see hip. There. Side boob. AND BECAUSE I WAS BUSY LOOKING AT HIP I MISSED BOOB. Nope. Not good enough. Nate, youre so unfair. Darby, blah, blah, blah SHUT UP. Do you want your clothes back? Yes? MORE. You know, your Moms gonna be home soon, so I just say you give me my stuff, you punk. I say just do it, Darby. BUT SHE WOULDNT FUCKING DO IT. I was so pissed. And soon my mom did come home, and Darby was like, MRS. NATES MOM. HELP. NATE, GIVE DARBY HER CLOTHES BACK. I dont even know how she knew. She was nowhere near the bathroom, but somehow she always guesses. THIS IS THE HOUSE OF TORTURE fine, Darby McFaggot. Have your damn clothes back, you fucking tattletale. Damn bitch. Motherfucking... She stuck her tongue out, happily grabbing her clothes. I walked back to my room, FURIOUS. But my Mother left our food sitting on my bed, so YAY. Since it was the weekend, Darby McFaggot and I stayed up really late and watched movies scary ones, because she really hates em and ate everything in sight. Seriously. Im gonna have to buy a new TV when we go to Wal-Mart. jk. Darby eats like a man, by the way. Even in public. She doesnt really care if she looks unattractive; if shes hungry, shes gonna eat whatever she wants. Ive seen her eat a whole pizza by herself like a champ. It wasscary. But...dare I saysxc. I am a really bad boyfriend. ---

So I realized I HAVE YET TO SHOW YOU WHAT HAPPENS WHEN MAGGIE COMES OVER. I MEAN, I TELL YOU, BUT I DONT GO INTO DETAIL LIKE I DO WHEN DARBYS OVER OH AND NONE OF THIS WAS MEANT TO BE IN CAPS. THE AUTHOR ACCIDENTALLY HIT CAPS LOCK AND IS TOO LAZY TO HIT BACKSPACE AND TAKE IT OFF CAPS LOCK. OkaY, there. Anyway. Yeah. Soo, maybe I will soon. But right now, Im in English and yeah. Maggie cant be over if were still in school. Anywho, since Im in English and I have an awesome teacher who is always getting off topic, I think youd like to know what he is saying right now. Nothing really about English. Isaiah kid in my class asked Mr. Davis about his wife. Even though what we were doing reading poems had nothing to do with his wife. Mr. Davis just said, Thats has nothing to do with what were doing, but may I tell all of you a story? It was meant for my Senior Class, but may I tell you? Everyone said YES. But the name of my friend what we used to call him is a tad inappropriate. We used to call him Horndog Harvey, and so one day, I asked him for advice with I dont know why, but I came to him for advice. About women. Anyway, I asked Horndog Harvey, how-how do you get a women? Im a bit tired of being alone and want someone I can be with for a long time. And he said - *deep manly voice* Well, one: dont let them know youre needy. Whatever you do, no matter what, never let them know. And I was like, Wellwell, alright. What else? And he said, Two: no matter what, if they text you a long, thought-out paragraph no matter what its about just send back K. Most of the girls in the class laughed and went, NO. And Maggie said, I hate when guys do that. Yeah, its so annoying. Tori said, agreeing. Mr. Davis did his weird crooked smile, and said, So, anyhow, when I first met my wife Connie it was one of those love at first sight things. And I straight-up told her, I am needy. I am the neediest person you will ever meet. And she was like, Im very needy too. So I was likecool, cool. Well, this is good. And then I told her And I like to text a lot big paragraphs. And she was like, ME TOO! So, long story short, after a couple months, we started going out, and Im so glad I didnt take ol Horndog Harveys advice, because now I have found a woman who takes me for me. I found myself a goddess. And I hope I have her for a very long time

Wow. Angel a girl behind me said. I thought this was going to be funny story. Me too. said some other kid I dont care enough about to know his/her name. Well yes, it turned out to be very serious, now didnt it? *everyone nods* Well, now, I say we should get back to some nonsense with our next poem Advice from the Experts by Bill Knotts. He hopped up, and laid down on the ground. I lay down in the empty street and he put his feet up on the chair and parked my feet against the gutters curb, He jumped up, and got on top of a desk. while from the building above a bunch of gawkers perched along its ledges urged me dont, dont jump! He looked down at the paper which had the poem on it and said, Well, what the hell was up with that. Its so weird! But, as Billy Collins suggests, we should read it twice, so And so he did read it again, but he still said he didnt understand it, and moved onto the next poem. See. Mr. Davis is just way too cool. Im surprised we ever learn anything in this class. Were never really on topic. He always has a personal story or memory he has to share about something. Which is why hes my favorite teacher. So, after English was over, I went all the way upstairs and down to the very end of the hall to my last class, Bio. And Maggie walked upstairs with me, because her last class was easy Biology with Mr. Yates, and his room was close to Ms. Otte. Im taking not-easyshes in academic, I think. But instead of going right to her class, she sat next me and made small talk. We never really talk about anything interesting though, sonothing really good to share. Except when Darby walked in, Maggie got all irritated all of a sudden. And then Darby said, Hey, Nathanial, wanna walk around until class starts? I went, Ehhhh. We never walk around, though. We just stand outside the door for two minutes. So? She hopped on the table, shaking my shoulders. Cmon, broooooo. Better than sittin in here.

I probably shouldnt of, but I was all fiiiinnnneee. because Im guessing it made Maggie mad, and she got all pissed, and stomped out of the room. But then again, shes a drama queen and can get over it. Me and Darby stood out in the hallway and talked to Ms. Otte until the bell rang, about nothing really. Mostly what we were going to do over the weekend. We were going to hang out this weekend Darby and I and maybe go to Kings Island and become Ride Warriors, even though we already were. And go to Fear Fest. But if we couldnt do that, we were just gonna hang out. And I kinda squeezed in that I might hang out with Maggie, if I could. Darby gave me a funny look, because she still doesnt know. And the look on her face was like ? when Cristina girl in mah class said, Hey, Nate, someone wrote I heart Nate on my desk. And I already guessed who it was and so did most of the class. ALMOST EVERYONE said, Maggie. Likewhat the H? Cristina went on, And someone else wrote under No, I love him more. Fucking MAGGIE. Shes always doing that shit. I swear. You know how many desks Ive seen with I <3 Nate or Nate + Maggie = Forever or, or M+N written on them? SEVEN. Now this one makes it eight. And her effing signature on her phone is 9/03/11 M+N<3 Its kinda buggy, man. I dunno. I mean, its cool that she likes me enough to deface school property, butgeez. Oh, and Emmys in my first Study Hall. Just thought Id tell you. And her first name isnt really Emmy. Its Emily, apparently. And is it weird thatI think Emmys kinda hot? Like, the more I see her, the hotter she gets. Thats weird. I know it is. I think the reason why Maggies getting more blah and lovey dovey is becausewellwe finally did it. About a week ago. I dont know if it was her first time or not. It felt a little awkward to

ask. She didnt act like it was her first though. She was very, uhm, slutty about it. ButI dont know. Yeah. Anyway. If it was, cool. If not, meh. I mean, its kinda cool, doin a virgin. Just cause. Idk. I kindaI kinda felt like aa hero. Like, shejust acted like I was the greatest thing in the world to her andyeah. Ityeah. ANYWAY. But now, if I ever break up with her, Im gonna feel so bad. God, this sucks Nate. Ms. Otte said. Read the next set of materials, please. SON OF A B-WORD. I dont even know what ones were just read. What are we reading? WHAT CLASS IS THIS?! ABORT MISSION, I REPEAT. ABORT MISSION. NO HABLA INGLS. SHIT. Thank God I had Darby, and she was paying attention. She pointed to the ones I needed to read. WHEN DID I GET THIS PAPER IN FRONT OF ME? CHROMATOGRAPHY? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? UhmOne beaker, pencil, ruler, and a brown marker. WHAT ARE WE DOING? Oh deer God. I need to pay attention more. ---

Maggie came over after school, because she wanted me to help her study her Spanish. I was so tempted to lie to Darby about why she couldnt come over today, but Maggie was there all clingy and whatnot and told her she was coming over to study Spanish. She even did the quote thing. Im sure she said it like that to piss Darby off, but Darby was the bigger person, and just smiled, saying, Well, whatever. My dad kinda wanted me home anyway, because, you know, Ive been at your house the past, like, week and havent been home at all, so Ill just see you later? Yeah? Okay, bye. and took off in the direction of her home. Im sure shes gonna come over when Maggie leaves. Anyway, Spanish is really fucking confusing. I had to show her the side of the flashcard that had the Spanish on it and she had to say what it was in English. I held up one that said Rico on the front of it. Rich. she said, confidently. Correct. The next one said guapo. She looked stumped. no ideahint? You are very guapo. She smiled and said, Hmmm. Good-looking? S. You act very I held up the next one that said Rubio on it. She squinted her eyes, trying to figure it out, and then said, Wow. Good one, dick-face. Blonde. I stuck my tongue out, and looked down at the next card, which had fcil on it. Ha. I got a good one for this. This is what you are. It took her a few seconds but then her jaw dropped in fake shock and she whacked me with one of my pillows. I AM NOT EASY. Mmhmm. Thats exactly what an easy girl would say. Vete a la mierda.

Is any of that on one of these cards? She just smiled and flipped me off. Well, I see how it is. I did the sign language thingy mah bob for fuck off. Either it was fuck off or fuck you. Either way See. Sometimes Maggies pretty alright. Butyea. Eventually she was all studied up and I got to go back to insulting her with English words. I really am a bad boyfriend. I just called my girlfriend easy whichshe kinda is. I mean, she only knew me for three days we barely talked at all and then she asked me out. Not even a day later, she was already giving me handjobs and blowjobs, and letting me do all sorts of things to her. And she kept suggesting we should bang like every ten minutes, and kept that going for a week. AND THEN, finally, a number of days ago, we finally did it. Im just saying. I think weve only been dating forwell, we started dating on the thirdits now the seventeenthsothats like fourteen days, so exactly two weeks. Ilikeyeah. Honestly, I usually wait at least a number of months before I have sex with my girlfriend, because I have these things called MORALS and STANDARDS. Yeah. ButI mean, I guess you cant really call Maggie a slut or any of that. So what, shes easy. So are most guys, but you dont call them man-whores even though they kinda are. Theyre players or whatever. And yeah. I dont know where I was going with that. But, my point is, Im a bad boyfriend, if you think about it WELL, ANYWAY. I GOTTA GO. MAGGIE WANTS TO FUCK. LATER, DUDES.

-- Chapter Five

Katrina had puppies nine of them. Nine. AND THEY ARE SO CUUUUUTTTEEEEE. It was twelve, but three of them died :( Unlike a normal person, my dad was pissed, for some reason. I really dont see why, though. I mean, theyre so freakin adorable. My favorite one is Chubbs. Hes chubby and cute. Oh, and he walks off of things like tables. Its so funny. I kinda see why my dads mad, kinda. But not really. Im walking over to Darbys right now, because she really wants to see a puppy. Im taking Chubbs and London Londons a girl puppy, btw. According to my mom, shes hers. So, anyway. It took me, like, fifteen minutes to get to Darbys house, and London was being a little bitch the whole time. She kept walking out into the street and when she wasnt doing that, she was darting in front of Chubbs, making him trip over her leash. It was funny, but every time she did it, Chubbs would start whimpering and whining which made me sad. But I eventually reached Darbys house. And after I knocked on the door, I picked both Chubbs and London up and held them so they were covering my face, so Darby got to see their cute little faces first. I heard her gasp. AWWWW OH MY GOSH THEYRE SOOOO CUTE!!!!!!!! OHMYGOD. I KNOW RIGHT? I handed her London, and listen to her awwww some more. Anyhow, since for some odd reason Darbys father doesnt trust me and Darby to be alone in her room, Darby and I were sitting in her living room, playing with the puppies. Oh, and because her dad is stupid, this is why I never stay over here, really. Which, I mean, if you think about it, wouldnt it be a better idea to let me stay over here where he can supervise us rather than having her over at my house, in my room, on my bed, sometimes intoxicated to the point where she cant even breath right and totally un-supervised? That just never made any sense to me. Or maybe its just because Darby lies and says shes going over to Shelbys house when really shes going over to mine. Oh well. Ha.

Chubbs just tried walking off the couch to the table which was right next to the couch but there was a small gap between them and his little puppy leg slid off the table and he yelped and fell about a foot and a half. OhmyGod. It was so cute. Oh, uhm, yeah. I really like dogs, if you couldnt tell. Darby just thought it was the cutest thing ever, too. So, ANYWAY, I was just telling Darby about how Chubbs is gonna have to get his nads chopped off. Pretty interesting conversation, yes. Darby cradled Chubbs in her arms while London ran around Darbys living room. Yeah, hes got the I clapped my hands together the clap. Thats why your balls have to leave. I said, grabbing his little puppy feet. Darby laughed and then we got to talking about more important things - like Halloween. And I now realized something. I kinda got me a problem. Both Darby and Maggie want me to go trick or treating with them. Likenot all three of us together no way in hell theyd both want that. And I have no fucking clue what the fuck I am going to do. I always go with Darby shes my trick or treat buddy. But then again, Maggie is my girlfriend. And Ive never been trick or treating with her. But I dont want Darby to get mad at me if I go with Maggie instead. I doubt she has anyone else she wants to go with. But Im sure if she knew Maggie and I were kind of an item, shed be more okay with it. ButI really dont want to tell her. AndI kinda want to go with Darby. We always have so much fun, and I always make her go up with me to those really creepy house that have those people in the masks that jump out at you and stuff. Its hilarious. But Maggie, tho. Shes gonna be mad if I ditch her to go with Darby. ButI dont really wanna go with Maggie. But at the same time, I do. AND FUCKIN LONDONS NOT MAKING ME FEEL ANY BETTER RIGHT NOW. Shes being all aedxdgvutyfvbkhgfdsddas.

She just keeps barking and messing up my train of thought, and shes making it hard to look like Im actually listening to Darby and what shes saying about what shes gonna dress up as. Geez-us, London. Why cant you be a good dog and sleep like Chubbs? Yes, my little Chubbs is curled up into a little ball, all cute like, and snoozing away. Butyeah. No clue what Im gonna do. WellI could just tell them both I cant go and sit at home and be bored. ButI really wanna go. GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZ. HELP A BROTHA OUT? Any-freakin-how, later, right before I was about to leave and go home around 9:30 Darby was all like, Whys London? I almost left without her. I must really hate this dog. I looked around. II dont know. Where is that little fucker? LONDON. She didnt run into the room like I expected her to. And then we both heard a little puppy bark coming from the dining room. LON-DON. GETCHO BOOTY IN HERE. She still didnt come. Alright, I said, getting up off the couch. On the count of threeOneTwoTHREE oh youre stuck on the chair. YEAH. Somehow she managed to wrap her leash around the leg of one of the chairs. Shes a little weirdo. I untangled her and picked her up, walking back into the living room. And Darby went on to quote me five more times, because that was apparently that hilarious. Eventually she stopped and I made my way home. Darby would come over, but I dont know she couldnt? --Okay, so, uhm, I told Maggie I wanted to go trick or treating with Darby. And she flipped shit. And, uhIuhflipped shit right back at her. And according to her, were on a break now. Which we all know means Its over, jerk-face. BUT if I change my mind and finally come to my senses, shell be waiting or some shit. And only then, can I try to talk to her again. BITCH. Youre not that great. I can go on just fine without talking to you.

Grrr. But, since I didnt tell Darby about me and Maggie in the first place, or anyone, for that matter, I dont really have anyone to talk to. Gah. This sucks. Im actually considering telling her, so I have someone to talk to. But shell be so mad. Idc. Im telling her. Waitshould I? I didand FUCKING GUESS THE FUCKING FUCK WHAT. She. flipped. her. lid. HUADGVYVAAJKJAPOLJHFRTZERTYUIOPNB GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD. CXSDFG.

Now, I dont have ANYONE to talk to. Well, I have other friends, but none of them are talkingto-about-stuff-like-this-or-anything-at-all stuff. Darbys the only person I really trust, I guess. Wow. I need to start getting other friends. Or at least, start trusting other people. But...everyone at our school sucks. Theyre all back-stabbing, two-faced hoebags. Darbys the only real person I know. Maybe if she could just understand why I didnt tell herBUT NOOOOOOOOOO. I hate people. --Somehow, in her mother way of figuring stuff out, my mom knew something was wrong with me. So she came in my room and asked me if something was wrong. And, well, I thought I could tell her and shed understand. So I tell her and then she flips the situation on me and tells me how Im the reason that I have nobody and I cause everything myself and just putting me down with every word. I wanted somebody to talk tonot somebody who would tear me down even more.

So, me being me, I started to yell at her and told her to get the fuck out of my room. I told her that shes just making everything worse and I hate myself even more now and GET THIS -- she says, If you hate yourself that muchyou know what to do. WHAT THE FUCK. My mom just told me to kill myself. Its not the first time though. Shes so bipolar. Not kidding. I dont understand her AT ALL. Like, one minute, shes all cool and Id actually consider us friends. And the next, shes trippin. I really, really hate people. Goddddddddd. I need to talk to Darby like noooooooooowww. Luckily, I didnt have to wait too long but the reason wasnt so good. She curled herself up into a ball, head on my shoulder. Why would he do that, Nate? Oh, yeah. Luke - or as I like to call him, Lucifer is an ass, by the way. Apparently it was a bet, to ask to Darby out, I mean to see if he could get in her pants. And now my poor, little Darbys bawling her eyes out. Has been for the past thirty minutes. I didnt know what to say to her. I just let her cry it out. Why would he do that to her? Sweet, little Darby, of all people. Shes so nice. She doesnt talk shit about people, or anything. Hes obviously stupid, and doesnt know what he gave up. I would totally snatch Darby up, take her off the market. I could. I should. I mean, were both single now, right? Wellshe is. Am I? Seriously. I dont know. Maggies so confusing. She said it was basically over between us, right? Then why is she being so weird? One day, she ignores me as if I dont exists, making me think Yup. Were done. She wasnt bluffing. And the next, shes all Hi, Nate! So were hanging out later, right? making me think Ohsouhmweretogether again? And then the next, its like I told her some crude joke about her grandma forgetting she even existed because her Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember her at all, and her grandma actually had Alzheimers.

Which she doesntI think. And...I dont know. Shes so weird. I think Im being used. Oh well. It gets me sex. Hey, Darb. I said, once she finally stopped crying. Yeah? What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Hmmmuhm. I dunno. What? Hey, wheres my tractor? OhmyGod, Nate. Wow. Youre so dumb. Hahahaha. Ha. She thought it was funnnnaaayyyy. I win. Thanks. Okay, so a man walks into a bar unfortunately, it was a metal bar, like a pole. So he got hurt. She laughed again. Go on. YES. SHES HAPPY AGAIN. I tried to think of another joke. Oop. Got one. Knock knock. Whos there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident. OHMYGOD. WHAT THE FUCK? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Shall I continue? Yes, please. Knock knock. I said again. Whos there? Dave. Dave who?

Dave proceeds to burst into tears as his grandmothers Alzheimer has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him. Ha. See. Thats the joke I didnt tell Maggie. Incase her grandmother actually did have Alzheimer. I know Darbys didnt. Darby was almost in tears because I am that hilarious. omg nate stawp. I think Im going to die. your so funny. lol. But I couldnt stop. I continued on with the jokes until I ran out of them. Which ended up being about twenty minutes later, at 4:30. Soare we going trick or treating, or like what? Uhh She slouched, thinking. Well, I dont know. I meanyou mean us? Like me and you? I nodded, messing with the bracelets on Darbys wrist. Derrrr. Who else would I go with? WellMaggie. I mean oh wait. yeah. Never mind. Thats why you guys yeah. Okay. Uh. Sure, I guess. Ha. Alright. So, are you still gonna be a Crayon? She laughed, and then said, Well, its at home. Oh. You wanna get it? Yknow, since Halloweens today and everything. In about two hours, to be exact. Nah, She shook her head. Does you mom still have her old prom dress? Uhyeah. I believe so She nodded. Alright. Welluhm, I was thinking of, like, wearing those black pants I left here, and my, uh - that black, striped shirt the that one. She pointed to my closet. My eyes settled on the shirt. it was actually mine, but she wears it more than I do. I nodded, letting her know I approved. She continued, And, well, I was thinking that, you know, wearing the dress over that, and, likemaybe a hat fedora, actually and, yeah. Maybe actually wearing some make-up, andmy converse? I tried to imagine it, but ended up imaging her naked. And then I started thinking some dirty things. So I immediately tried to stop thinking all together. Failed.

Yeah. Thatll look sweet. She smiled real big. Thank you. Youre gonna have the Chelsea Grin thing goin on, right? I smiled. Yup. You wanna help me with thething? She laughed, knowing what I meant. Sure. --It took about for-freakin-ever. But thats okay. I was eye-level with Darbys boobs for about an hour. Yay. But I almost got a boner five times, which was the only real bad part. And Darby kept trippin, because she was afraid she was going to cut my real skin when she was cutting the liquid latex. Another reason it took forever: the tutorial we watched kept skipping and dragging. But, anyhow, it turned out nicely, and I chased Darby around the house, because it freaked her out and idunno. That was fun. And I swear we almost kissed like twenty times. I wouldve been a-okay if we did, butI dont know. Just never went through with it. Oh well. Ill try again later. And Darby looked scary as hell, too. I made the mistake of telling her she looked like the little girl from The Orphan, because she knew that chick freaked me out and she chased me around the house. Oh, and my Moms old prom dress wasnt, yknow, insanely girly or, uhm, well, pretty. It was from the 80s, soyeeah. Not saying, all the dresses from the 80s were uglybut this oneyeah. She wore it without the silky under partuhmpart. So she only had the lacey part over her clothes. It was, like, peach-colored, or something like that. Butit looked awesome. And she wore one red high top and a grey low-cut one. Oh, and that black fedora. Yeah. Cool. I know.

And next year, she said she wanted to wear the same thing, but with a gas mask. And I suggested she should carry around one of those, like, pickaxe things, and say she was the girl version of the Bloody Valentine dude. Itd be sweet. Anyway, at around 6:00pm, were out the door and gettin us some caaannnddaaaayyy. And we did actually stay out the whole eight hours - I mean, two. It lasted til eight. Which is why I said eight. oops. my b. (un)fortunately, Darby and I are really not Above the Influence at all, so were getting high behind a church right now with, like, five other people. Arent we cool? The first time I saw the new T-Mobile commercial, I thought that it said walking in an orgy wonderland. It actually says walking in a 4G wonderland. Haha. Honest mistake. Would you rather Darby made her thinking face. We were chillin like a couple of villains, hanging out over by the play set or whatevs. Yes. A play set. Behind a church. St. Pats church. Apparently it doubles as a school for kids. I hope your mom dies. Sorry. That wasnt meant to go to you. masturbate alone in your car or with a lot of people in the car with you? Oh, thats easy. A car full of priests. False. Black bear. Haha. Alright, Dwight. When did Darby get so hot? I mean, seriously. Just look at her. Look. Look with your special eyes! MY BRANDDD

Yum, right? --hotboxed the car. holy shit. i cant believe this shit. oh my god. this. lololol my mom just texted me. oh man. sup mom. whaaddafuh? oh man. guess what. darby and i MWAH MWAH MWAH. yeeeeaaaahhhh, man. like five minutes ago. oh haha and now. ha yeah. nonstop. this is cool. Im likin this/ we should fuck next. ha. oh yes. itd be rather delightful. Im pretty sure we did something else to we mayve banged, but I dont remember. oh and were not by the church anymore. werewait. where are we? oh nooh well. bye. I have to piss. Im taking darby with me. ha. yes.

-- Chapter six
Darby and I along with a few random people stayed at random persons house last night. And we were the first to wake.

We were both lying on the floor of random persons bathroom. Ewww. Darby groaned, climbing into my lap. Where are my pants? And shirt? Whose house is this? And why do they have windows in their bathroom? Who would want windows in their bathroom? What happened last night? IM SCURRED. She dropped her head onto my shoulder, and I picked her up, sitting her on the counter, which had the sink with it, so she wasnt on the ground anymore. I almost sat down on the toilet seat lid, but realized thatd be a dumb idea. Its probably colder than a mothafucka. And mothafuckas are cold WHERE ARE MY PANTS. SRSLY. Where are your pants? she asked, groggily. I dont know. I jumped up, sitting next to her. What happened last night? Do you remember anything? Nope. Nada You? She shook her head. Nothing uhmthe stuffs not on your face anymore There was stuff on my face at one point? OhI remember. The stuff. I looked in the mirror. She was right. It was all gone. Like it was never there in the first place. BUT THEN. I looked away for a second, and then back again AND THERE WAS STUFF BACK ON MY FACE. All the make-up, and jazz ALL. BACK. ON. MY. FUCKING. FACE. WHAT THE HELL. Darby even went 0_o???? ohmygodButit wasnt there, like a second ago Darby, Im scared AND OH MY GOD. WHAT? I had just now noticed, her costume wasnt on her either, and she was just wearing not-jeanshorts and a tanktop. But her clothing was sitting in the tub AND BETWEEEN HER FUCKING LEGS RIGHT NEAR THE COOTER - WAS LIKE A CRAP LOAD OF WHAT LOOKED LIKE MY MAKEUP STUFF ALL SMEARED. AND SHE HAD SOME ON HER FACE.

AND MY FACE-STUFF LOOKED SMUDGED. OH LORD OF ALL DEERS NATE, WHAT THE FUCK. She jumped down, looking down at her legs. I DONT KNOW, DARBY. GEEZ maybe, maybeII dont know. Oh God NaaattteeenoI She sighed, leaning against the counter again. Well, do you thi-You dont remember anything? At all? I shook my head. I really didnt at all. And I kinda wished I did. Because I obviously missed out on something great. Wonderful - WHOSE HOUSE IS THIS? Thats what Ive been wondering! She looked around and somewhat out the window. II think its that Mills kids house remember him? Travis, or whatever. The one we call T. Mills. Oh, yea. Yes. I swear. Thats his name. Travis Mills. Not lying. Like the singer. But this ones Korean like straight-up. No Caucasian in him at all. She groaned into her hands, and then reached for the doorknob. She looked up. Its locked. Sowe locked itand apparently did some stuff. That I dont remember. cool. We both jumped when suddenly someone started knocking on the door from the other side. HEY OPEN UP. I GOTTA PISS. Darby quickly unlocked it, yanking it open. And some dude, who looked way too old to still be going to the high school, did the pee-pee dance. But then he stopped, looking from her to me, me to her, up and down, side to side, left to right, north to south, east to west, front to back, forward to backwardsuhmyeah. I ran out ofthings. He said, Oh, sorry. I didnt realize you guys were still fucking, or are you done now FUCKING? Darbys eyes went wide. Not gonna lie, so did mine. He looked at us like we were idiots. Duhh. Or I dunno. You guys were doin somethin that involved a lot of Im sure he was imitating Darby as he leaned up against the wall, and moaned loudly, squeezing his eyes shut, stomping his foot. OH GOD. NATE Youre Nate,

right? I reluctantly nodded. Oh, okay well NATE. FASTER. YES. PLEASE. OH FUCK. GODDDDDD. NATE, NAAATE. OHHHHH, YES. Holy crap on a cracker. Anyway, can I go pee? Oh, uh, yeah. Sure. Darby grabbed onto my arm, and yanked me out behind her. Woah. Theres a shit ton of people out here most sleeping. Others now getting up, leaving. And oh my God. About five of those people gave me thumbs up, and one guy even told me I got myself quite a screamer there. And like seven people agreed with him. Darbys face had invented its own shade of red. But thankfully, we found two people we actually did know who were awake, and chilled with them. I know the dude his name was Cruea, Chris Cruea. We used to be friends back in Junior High, but then he got suspended and we never hung out again. And the girl, Ive seen her around, but not quite sure what her name is. Im thinkin its Taner Ely maybe? I dont know. I found some guy clothes in some dudes room and put them on, because I couldnt find mine. Darby went and got her clothes out of the bathroom and put those back on. We walked to the Root Beer Stand, because this T. Mills kids house was like right across the street from it. Its a drive-in, but we went inside, because we didnt have a car. Anywho, after Darby and I went to the bathroom to get all that shtuff of my face and her legs, we all picked a table and tried to re-cap last night. Dude, I dont remember ANY of this... Taner laughed. You could tell she was the type of girl who gets high all the time she had a stoner laugh. Everyone else nodded, agreeing that they also had no memory of it. Oh my god. I groaned into my hands. Bits and pieces, but overall, nope, nothing. All I know is that I had a goooood night. Ill say. Chris snickered at Darby and then tipped me a nod. Dont you even. I already knew what he was gonna say. Hes already brought it up ten times in the past five minutes. I just shoved my face into my hands, praying hed say something else. You guys are pretty loud well, mostly her. My head shot up and I glared at him. Shut up.

Darby just said, I have no idea what youre talking about. Taner made a really loud "pfffft" noise, drawing the attention of a large group of people a few tables away from us. I kept my eyes down so I didn't have to look at them those people or Chris and Taner. "Yeah, right." she said finally. I dont see how you wouldnt remember it though you guys were stoned of your asses. Again, no idea what youre talking about. Yeah, Chris said, nodding over to Taner. I mean, even though, Im pretty sure Taner and I were, maybe somehow higher than you both and we still remember it. But then again, you guys were drunk as fuck too. Darbys neck snapped up. Drunk? I got DRUNK? Thing about Darby, shes all down for weed; Mary Janes her girl, but drinking doesnt settle well with her. Same with me, not a big drinker. But come on, Taner went on, ignoring her. I mean, you have to remember that. I mean, you sounded like you reaaalllyyyy liked it. Oh, my God. I finally said, covering my face with my hands. Can we not talk about this? Yeah. Can we justdrop it? Darby begged. Fine, fine. Taner nodded. Chris also nodded. Good? Good. Alright, uh SCUSE ME. MAAM!" Darby hollered, snapping her fingers in the air, beckoning the waitress to come hither. But when they turned around, it was a dude. HAHA. Chris dropped his head on the table and bursted out laughing while Taner dropped her head into her hands, biting her lip to keep from laughing, squeezing her eyes shut at the same time. I just flat out laughed loudly, pointing at Darby. Darby somehow managed to blush even more and dropped her hand. "Sorry." she mumbled. He pushed out a laugh. "It's alright." he said. "What can I get you guys?" We all ordered, and as soon as he walked away Taner said, Great. Way to go, Darby. Ten bucks says he spits in your food. I said, Ten bucks says he spits in all of our food since we were all there. YEAH, THANKS, DARBY.

IM SORRY! Darby said, trying to defend herself. But I mean, you guys saw im. Hes very chicky looking from behind. Yes. He actually was. --Did we have school today? We were chillaxin at Darbys house just me and her. Whats-their-faces went home. I shrugged, plopping down on her bed. Im rarely up in her room. But her Dad wasnt home, so I finally got to be. I must savoir it while I can. Ooh. Is that Memory Foam I feel? Maybe. I hope not. I dont think so. Okaygood. Believe it or not, things were a little awkward now since we were told that we actually did do something, and it mayve actually been sex. And see, Darby was kinda sorta maybe a bit of a virgin, so if we did, she might be a little sad that she didnt remember any of her first time. Butheh. I may have had sex with Darby. Sweeeett. AM I DATING MAGGIE OR NOT? God, I hope not. Soyou dont remember? No She shook her head. But, you know, ifif we diddo it, uhmIm okay with that. I sat up. Really? Why? She shrugged. I dont knowIts justif I could pick anyone to get totally intoxicated with and lose it to this may sound a little weird, but Id choose you. AWWWWWWWW. I feel like a Pokmon Id choose you. Butwhy? She shrugs. II dont know. Youre justso cool andyoure my best friend, and everything. And, I dunno. I-I just trust you a lot, I guess? I mean, like, I love you, man. I made a heart with my hands. Thats so sweet. Butwhat ifwe didnt?

ThenI dont know. We didnt I wish there was a way I could just, like, check and see if Im still a virgin or not, cause then Id know. Oh, thatd be cool. Right? I think someone needs to invent something like that like a little home test. Thatd be pretty great right now. Yeah We sat there. So, uhm I looked up at Darby, waiting for her to continue. Uhmdid you even likewhen you guys were dating - did, diddid you like her? Wait are you guys still dating? Because if you areand we did it I really dont know. Shes so weird. Weird how? LikeWEIRD. I mean, I remember not liking her at all; and the only reason I agreed to going out with her is because she admitted shed do stuff, butI dont know. EventuallyI actuallykinda didstart to like her, butshes just so confusing and weird. And when I told her I was going trick or treating with you, she started flippin out, and then, I dunno. I mean, one day shed hate me and wouldnt talk to me at all, and then the next she wants to hang out, and the next shes back to ignoring me. And you girls say us guys are confusing. No, you guys are worse. Well, I apologize for half my gender. And I apologize for a big majority of mine. She did her little snarky smile and then looked down, going back to thinking about things I wanted to know. Okay, seriously, why is Darby suddenly becoming so unnffffff too me now. I never really thought of her this way until you guys came along. I blame all of you. But Im sure we wouldve ended up getting baked and possibly fucking in some dudes bathroom without your guys presence anyway. Its almost happened many times before. faufnacjpFHNAKCJ. Anyway, about ten minutes later, we started watching My Bloody Valentine (I dont usually watch scary movies at all but Darby hates them, so I gotta. She usually wouldnt cave in at

all, but I promised wed watch something really funny afterwards. Plus, I told her it had Jensen Ackles you know the guy from Supernatural -- in it, and she thinks hes mighty fine lookin.) And at the beginning, when he walked by the motel room, and heard that girl and dude bangin oh my God, it was torture, and I just wanted to grab Darby and do her, but I was like, Dude, that chicks going to die; this is not the time to be getting freaky. But...Godddddddd. I wanted to so bad. Plus I really didnt want to see her or that little midget girl die. But I didnt want to freak Darby out by jumping on her all of a sudden. So I refrained from doing what I wanted. BUTI mean, for all we know, we probably already did it, soImaybe I could just kiss her. Kissing, not that bad. NO. I cant. Why not? CAUSE. Fine. After that was over, and she saw the ending, she said, So, does that mean theres going to be another one? I mean, if you havent seen it, you dont really know how it ends, and I hope this is okay with you, because Im about to ruin it for you ohyou know what. Never mind; you want to know, watch it and see for yourself. I shrugged, getting up. I dunno. Maybe. What do you want to watch now? Uhmmmmmmmm. She thought about it. Ooh. Her thinking face is even hot. Do you haveDue Date? I grinned with a nod, switching movies out. I sat back down next to her, and we watched the trailers of all the movies that were coming out soon. Oh, you know what. Weve already seen Due Date, many times. We can live if we dont watch it today. I pulled her over into a hug not a friend hug, though hoping shed somewhat catch my drift. . . . .

Ooh. Her lips are nice and soft. Ohshe did catch my drift, by the way. xXxh4rdc0remak1n0utbr0xXx This actually is quite delightful. Why didnt I do this sooner? And I really dont know why Im not explaining this in great detail. I should, shouldnt I? Youd all really like to know how this blissful event is going down, right? Well, alright SHIT. HER DADS HOME. And since her DVD player doesnt work in her room, we were watching the movies downstairs, in her living room. Yeah. The front door is like right there. Ten feet away. Yeah. Oh, you want me to tell her dad you said hi? Cause I can. Hes right there. Oh, ha. Hes pissed. Ill tell him later, alright? Im at home now. Yup. Her dad called my mom apparently to tell her I was a bad kid and needed to stay away from Darby. Uhm, yeah. Right. Good one. My Mom even said, Yeah, right. Keep Nate from doing what he wants? Cool Story bro. You should be a comedian. Youre funny. Im serious. She said that. My Moms weird. Really weird. Im tellin ya. --I shoved my face into a pillow, trying to drowned it out, but she was LOUD she being Ashley and Colton wasnt exactly shy about it either. He was, uhyelling some pretty vulgar things, like, uh, Yeah, suck my dick, bitch and, uhI dont know. Just things like that. It was pretty funny at first, but OMG. Its so annoying now. Likeguise srsly? Its almost 12AMI NEED TO SLEEP. I have school tomorrow. AND SO DO THEY. For some reason, listening to them do it, made me want towith Darby, of coursebut shes not here. God, this is torture, I tell you. And around one or so, I still couldnt sleep and I felt oddly hungry. So I got myself up and walked to the kitchen.

Ugghhh. THEYRE STILL DOING IT. I think its still them. As I got out a bowl I heard a different chick voice yell out, and I mean YELL out, well, moan/scream, OH YESOH GOD. FUUUUCCCKK. *loud moan* YES, OHFUCK ME. HARDER. FAAASSSTTEEROHGODDDDD. And I just thought, Oh, you know what, fuck you, you whore. Shut up. We get it. Blaahhhh. Like, really. You gotta be that loud? Seriously? Have some decency, slut. And its Colton doin ya; cant be THAT good. Alright. STOP IT. Uh, anyway, I got out some Honey Bunches of Oats and dumped it into that bowl. I opened the fridge, looking for the milkbut I couldnt find it, which was weird because it was definitely there a couple days ago. Oh, noIts notgone, is it? OH, PLEASE, DONT LET THERE BE NO MILK LEFT. I already put some cereal into a bowl. I pushed some stuff aside, double-triple-teniple-checking. I HAD TO BE SURE before I threw out poor cereal. ButwaitnoI think.I think I see it. Mr. Milk, is that you? Waaayyy in the back? Please, oh please, let it be you. IINO. ITS FUCKING CREAMER. FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU Uhm I heard a really not male voice say behind me. I turned around and saw who Im guessing was Ashley? What are you looking for? Can I help? Are you Ashley? I asked instead. She stared at me for a second and then nodded. Yup? Waitthenwhos up there? Orhave I been looking for milk a lot longer than I thought? Just then I heard a different girl voice scream out. Different than the other one I heard earlier. We both looked up. HOW MANY GIRLS DOES HE GOT UP THERE? Ororoh, God no. I hope not. What ifits my mom and dad doing it? Oh gag, gag, gag. No. Ew. Dont think that. Ew. Oh, uhm. Im sure you already know by now, but, uhthats uhmJordan, I think. Yeaheither her or Maddie. It was Jordan when I left. Awwww. She was frowning. :( Ohso youre not okay with that? Him having like two other girlfriends? No

OH, YOU POOR LITTLE THING. I hopped onto her with a hug. But I couldnt comfort her for long. Colton and whoever were getting louder, and it was starting to get awkward trying to comfort someone with a growing boner, I mean. Welp, Im gonna go watch some porn, alright? Take care of yourself. And for Gods sakes, find yourself a better boyfriend. ..Oh sweet Jesus. She just told me Id be a way better boyfriend and we should go do something dirty. But I was just like, OR, just go with me on this, we could, yknow, talk or something. You got any problems you cant tell anyone else that youd feel like telling to a stranger? And dis bitch. She bit my mothafuckin lip and pulled on it and oh my. --She is really loud I mean, there wasnt a time when she wasnt not moaning, ya know. I kept thinking Colton would hear her or my mom or someone. She told me I didnt have to worry about Colton, though. Apparently she told him she was going home. And Mother and Father probably think its Colton. Butnope. Ohuhmyeah. Why do I skip out on this stuff and make you guys guess whats happening. Im doin her. I know. I shouldnt be. I mean, what about Darby? Or Colton, even. Colton can get over it, and Darby, Im sorry, butI really wanted sex. And she told me to, quote-un-quote beat my pussy and put it in deep. How could I refuse that? But we didnt just jump right into it. We actually took my advice and talked. She told me Colton was a dick. That he was just using her. She actually started crying. And I cant handle seeing a girl cry especially over douchebags. I just cant. It makes me all sad. I just feel like I need to tell them their beautiful and be there for them, yknow? Make them happy again. So, of course, that raised the question: Thenwhy are you even dating him? Whyd you want him to be your first?

He told you? Ohuhmwas he not supposed to? WellI meannobut She sighed AND SNIFFLED. Awww. Colton is a butt. Hes making her cry. II thought he was different. IIm so stupid. She slouched over, dropping her head onto my shoulder. I hugged her. Youre not stupid. Even though I kinda did call her and the other hoes stupid earlier. Butmaybe theyre not stupid, yknow. Maybe they actually thought he liked them like Ashley did. I actually thought he liked me. He doesnt. Hes just using me. And you know what? She propped her chin up onto my shoulder. II kinda knew he was, butI liked him so much. I gave it up to a jerk how am I not stupid? I believed he actually liked me, really, really liked me. Im stupid. Theres nothin to it. I looked over at the clock. It was 2am. Yeah, Im not sleeping tonight. I repositioned her so she was back in front of me, and cupped her face, trying my best to successfully wipe under her eyes without hurting her. No. Youre not. I said, kissing her nose, hoping to get a smile out of her. Thats what I do to this one girl at school. Her names Nikki. When shes sad I go up to her and give her a big kiss on the cheek. She always gets the biggest smile and is happy again. And I got my smile. :D <-- it looked kinda like that. Which made me go :D. Oh, this is nice. You got fucked over I dont really know how to say that in a nice way thatll make you feel better, butits true. Its Its sad but true. She laughed a little. HaThats a Metallica song. Oh my God. It is. Oh my GodShe listens to Metallica. I swear if she tells me she loves Paramore or Of Mice and Men or, or Blink 182, Im marring her. How do you feel about Blink? She lifted her head up. 182? Yup.

I love Toms voice and Marks. And Travis is just amazing, too. I saw them live, like, five months ago, and it was orgasmic. They are honestly one of my favorite bands ever. Why do you ask? This girl definitely deserves happiness. Ohno reason. Just wondering. Aww. She smiled again. Okay. She rested her head on my shoulder. And we sat there for a bit. I checked my phone for the time again. Fucking three. in the. fucking. morning. I have to wake up for school in three hours. I aint gonna make it through the day. But I didnt want to make her sad and tell her she needed to go. Maybe she can stay here. I can have a snuggle buddy Awww. She looks so sad again. QUICK. HOW DO I MAKE HER FEEL BETTER? (Hobo: FUCK HER. Me: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?) Uhmdo you wannastay the night or something cause if you wanna stay thats okay, butI gotta go to sleep soon. I got school tomorrow. She got a confused look on her face. Isnt tomorrow Saturday? ..Is it? Ohnever mind then. Butyeah. If you wanna stay thats cool. Im into snugglin if thats okay with you Yeah? She bit her lip. Oh dear lord. Well, Im into fucking. WHAT IS WITH THIS GIRL. Shes almost as confusing as Maggie. oh well. AND THATS HOW WE ENDED UP BANGING.

-- Chapter seven
EY BRO. WHERE ARE YA? I said like a gangsta into the phone, when she answered.

Emmy laughed from the other end and said, Im close, alright. Calm your tits. Im by Dunaways. Oh, so right across the street. Yes. Im talking and going to hang out with Emmy Maggies sista. Well, just cause Maggie and I arent cool right now doesnt mean I cant hang out with her hot sister. Oh, AND were gonna be hanging out at the library cool, right? doing homework. Oh. I puckered my lips. Alright, well, Im at the last table the one by the Vlad books. iight, homes Hey, is that bitchy old chick working today? Yeeaaaahh, she is. I said, sinisterly, eyeing the bitch right now. Yes. she said, like it was a victory. Shes gonna hate us. I scoff. As if she already doesnt. God, remember what she said last time? She laughed. I laughed, too, remembering. Oh my God Hey, this is the liiiiibraaarrrryyyy. Stop talking or Im gonna report you youngsters to the officials! like, calm the fuck down, bitch. Youre handling books here, not missiles. Emmy laughed. Right. Chill out Oh, Im, like, right outside Ha. I see you. SUP NATHANIAL. I turned around and stood up, arms wide open. HEY GURL. SHHHHHHHH! the old hag, Mrs. McGarry snapped at us. Emmy waved her hands at her, and skipped over to me.

and that when he finally has enough free time well go to the movies or something. I shook my head, disapproving as Emmy continued to tell me about her dysfunctional boyfriend Brandon. If he doesnt want to see me anymore why wont he just tell me? I pretended to take off my hypothetical glasses. She let out a smile, waiting for me to continue. You came to the right place no, but seriously. He doesnt deserve you if hes not going to take a few minutes out of his schedule and call you up I mean, you are his girlfriend. You shouldnt have to wait for him to realize hes stupid and hope hell change. I say you just forget

about his dumb ass and go out with someone wholl actually give you his complete and upmost attention. Wow. Im a faggot. She sighed, agreeing. but you never know he could really be busy and not have the time to-- To what? Call you? She began to speak again but Hell no. I aint done yet. Nooooo. Youre his girlfriend. I said, slowly. She stopped, thinking. And then smiled. Okay, fiiiiiiinnnneeeee. Youre right. Yaddah, yaddah, yah. Damn skippy, Im right I gotta piss. I got up and walked myself over the mens bathroom, cautiously checking to make sure it wasnt the girls before walking in. Woah. Its scary in here. So I hurried my ass up and peed before the power suddenly cut out and the only light Id see next would be the light. I bolted out of there, and as soon as I got back to the table, Darby jumped up yes, DARBY. Shes got homework to do to -- fighter stance and all, and screamed, HEY, NATE. GET LOUD WITH ME. About twenty people jerked their heads in our direction. I grinned at her, but stuck the same pose as her. YELL AT YOU? IN THE LIBRAY? HELL NO, DARB-IGAL. THATS NOT ALLOWED. YOURE CAUSING A SCENE. KNOCK IT OFF. She smiled. WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST CALL ME, NATHANIAL? AM I GONNA HAVE TO KICK YOUR ASS? I BELIEVE SO. HELL NO. HELL YES. I screamed back, amazed that we werent getting thrown out yet. NO. YES. IM RIGHT. YOURE WRONG. BLOW ME. She almost laughed at the last part. (Emmy was grabbing her sides, cracking up.) But Darby stayed strongonly to burst out laughing a few seconds later, mid-sentence. I couldnt help but laugh too. I mean blow me? I dont even know why I said that, but eh. It worked. We sat back down at our table, and reluctantly started doing our homework again.

It was going great, until, out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of an elderly woman on one of the available computers. She shushed us, loudly. Apparently we were being really loud. I held a hand up, mouthing sorry to her; she rolled her eyes, turning back around. I rolled my eyes, and Darby made a face at her to show her discontent. Emmy was oblivious to the whole thing. Darby and I stuck our tongues out at her as soon as she turned around. BITCH, we both whispered loudly. I jerked myself so I was sitting up straight again. What? Emmy asked wondering why we suddenly said bitch. Nothing, I said. Just that grannys gettin up my ass right now. I knew she had turned to glare at me, but I ignored her. Emmy stifled a laugh, looking over to her. She waved with a wicked smile. Yeah, She looked back up at me. We better calm and behave ourselves before she gets herself lodged and stuck up there. she said purposely raising her voice on certain parts. I grinned at her before slamming my hands down on the table and stretched, loudly grunting and yawning. I got more than grandmamas attention. About half the people in this fine public library turned their gazes to me, but I only had eyes for the Grinch over there. With my feet stuck out in front of me, under the table, arms stretched out in front of me, too, grabbing the air, I smiled sweetly, waving. She just rolled her eyes and faced the dimly lit computer screen. Nathan. Darby laughed, shaking her head. I just shrugged and went back to normal position. I danced a bit in my seat causing Darby and Emmy to giggle -- fetching my Worlds History book from my Nike backpack, flipping it open to page 596, chapter 16, topic: The Spanish Inquisition. Lovely. I grabbed todays homework worksheet out, and obtained my Papermate mechanical writing utensil and stared down the first question: The Spanish Inquisition was started in result of the French not converting to Catholicism. Uh, false, I thought marking an F on the line, and scribbling down, The Spanish Inquisition was started in result of non-Catholics not converting to Catholicism.

Numbertwo: Catholics only stole from non-Catholicsfalse. They killed and tortured themNumber threeTrue. Number4 What? That doesnt makewhen did we learn that? I don't remember learning about the total number of people who died and how many survived! I flipped through the pages skimming for anything that looked like a number, but found nothing. Its not even stated in the freakin chapter. How would I know? Hey, I looked up at my girls. How many people died during The Spanish Inquisition? And how many survived? I dont know. What Ohyeah. No idea. Cool. Well, maybe if I went to a computer Google it. Darby said with a shrug as soon as I thought ^ that. I threw the paper and pencil between pages 608 and 609, walking over to a vacant computer, setting my stuff down. I went to Internet Explorer and clicked on one of the search engines. I typed in the question and clicked on the I'm feeling Lucky button. All right, Google, do your thing. It took me straight to WikiAnswers.

A: The number of people who died in the various inquisitions across Europe are difficult to determine, but the number of victims can be numbered in the thousands, not the millions as a previous respondent stated. The entire populations of Europe would have been wiped out if inquisitors had killed in those numbers! Even though the Spanish Inquisition lasted for hundreds of years the Inquisition was held primarily in small areas in France, Spain and Italy. For example, the Spanish Inquisition, assuredly the most vigorous and corrupt of the various inquisitorial bodies that existed in Europe, held 49,000 trials between 1560-1700 and executed between 3 and 5,000 peo--

That is where I stopped (there were, like, 10 more paragraphs), but I got enough info to answer the question. Roughly 5,000 dead. Yeah, I didnt answer the second part, mostly because I didnt want to look it up especially if I would have to read 20 paragraphs. I guess Ill just take the grade Grammy pushed in her chair and padded her way to the door. She stopped momentarily to huff at me, while I just smiled and said, Well, bye, sexy! I expected her to roll her eyes and whack me upside the head with a ruler, but she did not. She smiled, patted my hair before waddling away. Forget Staceys Mom. I got it goin on.

So, hows Margret? Emmy looked up from her book, a slight smile on her face. NO. I didnt mean like THAT. NOOOOO. Shes fine. Why do you ask? OhuhI cant just ask? She smiled some more, looking back down. Whatever you say. I huffed in annoyance, looking over at Darby as she surfed to Inter-web in search for the covalent and ionic compound name for Ca(C2H3O2)2. Em-mah-lee and I were still sitting over at our table. Why dont you just go out with Darby? My neck snapped Emmys direction. What? I asked, bewildered. She smiled bigger. You heard me. Why not? What the hell. BebeBECAUSE. I threw my hands up, turning away from her. What makes you think I should date Darby, anyhow? She shrugged. I dunno. I just think you guys would look cute together.

And based solely on that you think we should date? I asked, brow raised. No. she said slowly, still smiling. And you look at her all cute and I dont know. You should just do it. I DO NOT. Do too. You like her. You like her A LOT. You want to date her and looooove her. Its so obvious. Me and Cristina talk about it all the time awwww youre blushing! I covered my face with my hands. DAMN IT. My face felt a little warm. I was. NO, IM NOT. Yes, you are. She nodded her head franticly. She leaned over the table, touching my cheek. A caveman could roast chestnuts on these things! Chestnuts is such a weird word. She shook her head at me, smirking evilly. Dont go trying to change topics Youre blushing because you know Im right Im a guy. Im incapable of blushing. I went on, wishing there was a way itd just stop. Obviously not. She tipped her head towards me. Youre blushing. You love Darby. You want her and you know it. Im right. Youre wrong. Blow me. Using my comebacks against me does not make you witty. Does too because you love Darby. I stared at her. No. Yes, you dooooooooo. No. Then why are you blussssshhhiiiinnngggg?/?/??? I mentally slapped my face and screamed at it to stop such foolishness. It didnt. I heard what happened at Travis party. The word crap springs to mind. Really now? AVOID EYE CONTACT. AVOID. Im sure whatever you heard was lies. Lies and blasphemy. 100% blasph.

Mmhmm. 100% blasph, I like that. And Im sure Wasnt it you who said, and I quote, Call me old fashion, but I think you should like the person youre going to fuck? I dont remember saying that. From what I heard, you dont remember any of it. Shucks, right? Yes. No. Nothing happened, so nothing to remember. Nothing to shucks about. Okaaaaaay. Emmy sat there, silent. So did I. It wasnt a good, comfortable silence, but shoot. As long as she wasnt going to bug me, I was fine with it. But it lasted for a few minutes a few, annoyingly awkward minutes. OKAY. FINEII do like Darby, okay. Just dont say anything. NO. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME. NOOOOOO. SHE KNOWS NOW. SHES GONNA TELL HER. SHIIIIIIITTT. She started to squeal with happiness but then stopped suddenly, and looked behind me with wide-eyes. And I feared for the worst. I was so buggy on turning around to see what she was staring at, afraid itd be that demon dude from Insidious or Darby had just heard everything. But really wanted to know at the same time. I mustered up all my thoughts and mentally threw them out the window that one. Right there. I slowly turned around. But nothing was there. Darby was still sitting twenty feet away in the computer chair, typing, listening to music. Funny. I snapped turning around to a cackling Emmy. You shoulda seen your face! she laughed, and then stopped briefly to reenact my face. And continued laughing again. I picked up her notebook and ripped out a blank page, crumbling it up. Fuck you. I got up, throwing it at her. Whatevs. she said, calming herself. And as soon as she saw that I was gonna walk away, she said, Ooh. Where you goin? Gonna go hang out with your lover? NO. I was. And that was proved because I walked right over to Darby, sitting down in the seat next to her. I leaned back, nonchalant, chewing on my nails.

Darby looked away from the screen and smiled at me. Sup, Sharits. McCoy. I said with a nod. She smiled again, eyes going back to the computer. We sat there for a while and then she asked, Would you rather ride a goat or a dolphin? A goat ate my umbrella when I was three, so a dolphin. Hmm. I see. Fair enough. We sat there some more. It was nice kind of sitting there though. It wouldve remained nice, but Emmy had to ruin it by skipping over to us. She pulled us both into an odd hug. Darbys face was right. there. RIGHT. THERE. *awkward face-time* Welp, She pulled away and I noticed she had her bag with her and all her stuff wasnt on the table anymore just Darby and Is stuff. Youre leaving? asked Darby, eying Emmy. Yup. Mommy Dearest is pissed that I lied about cleaning my room when I didnt, soI bid you two farewell. She cracked a smirk. Have fun. Hey, Emmy. She turned around. I flipped her off. She just smiled and continued walking. Darby sat there, looking between Emmy and I, and then let out a small laugh. Whats up with the she mimicked Emmys smirk Did I miss something? Uh, *nervous chuckle* Heh. Nope. Nothing. alright, wellWhat time is it? *le check my phone* 7:20. She nodded. CoolYour house or mine? Im actually thinking of tell mah padre that Im gonna stay at your houseif I stay at your house, that is. Eh. I thought about it. I dunno, man. We always stay at my housebutI dont care really. You pick.

LOUD SIGH. AlrightuhmwellI dont really care, either. ButYoure never really at my house well, staying the night, so And you do have that Memory Foam stuff. Pretty top-notch. Right? She sighed again. Somy house? S, seorita. She smiles. She sat up quickly and said, OH, THAT REMINDS ME. I need you to help me sh-tudy my Sh-panish. Alright, mdear. Can do. Thanks, man. Yup. She turned back to her computer, and I just sat there for some reason, staring at her like a creeper. I dont know why, but I did. Hey, She handled me one of her headphones. Listen to this song. I really like it. I took it from her, putting it in my left ear and waited for her as she restarted it, and hit play. I dont know what it was, but it was pretty. (Yes. I did just say pretty.) When all the world is spinning round Like a red balloon way up in the clouds And my feet will not stay on the ground You anchor me back down Already wanting to know what it was called, I looked down at her phone, seeing: Artist: Mindy Gledhill Album: Anchor Song: Anchor Darby slowly grabbed her phone, eyes glued to the computer screen. She looked down and clicked the home button and then the messaging icon. She texted her Dad asking if I could puh-leaz stay the night, and some other stuff about how he can trust us, and blah blah blah. You know. Basically LYING.

I am As a restless But I look And anchor me back down

nearly soul for

who you

world always to

skips come

renowned town around

She turned to me with a smile. Do you like? I smiled back up at her. Me gusta. Bueno. she said with a smile.

There are those who think that Im strange They would box me up and tell me to change But you hold me close and softly say That you wouldnt have me any other way When people pin me as a clown You behave as though Im wearing a crown When Im lost I feel so very found When you anchor me back down There are those who think that Im strange They would box me up and tell me to change But you hold me close and softly say That you wouldnt have me any other way When all the world is spinning round Like a red balloon way up in the clouds And my feet will not stay on the ground You anchor me back down Then that prettiness was kinda ruined when Tempt Me, Temptation by A Skylit Drive was blasted into my ear a few seconds later. I tried not to show that I almost crapped my pants, because I kinda wanted to listen (to Jags BEAUTIFUL voice). What are you waiting for? Salvation is my name Take me for who I am Sit back and bite your tongue Shut the fuck up I beat you once before,

And Ill beat you again What of you has been the same? You leave me drained and bound Buried beneath until I rise above Sing to me, woah You leave me drained and bound For the last time You turn me on Its in the way you move (In the way you move) You turn me on Its in the way you move Its in the way you move I am consumed by you Im drowning, Im drowning On the floor Weve done this over and ov DAMNIT. Never thought Id be pissed to hear Darby speak, but whaddah ya no. Just was. Why didnt you tell me it was over? She was referring to the song. Uhm I tapped my chin. I like A Skylit Drive? HmmFair enough. And my Dad said you could, by the way. Cool. She let me finish listening to the song, and then we got our stuff and left. And since, its November and Daylight Savings gave us one more hour to sleep, it was unnaturally dark out as we walked to my house - I had to get clothing. Thankfully, Mother was in a good mood, and offered to drive us to Darbys only to get an earful of a speech from her dad. We didnt even get around to studying Spanish. As soon as we got up into her room after getting another lecture from her Fah-jaw (I made the mistake of closing her door (bad habit I guess; I always close mine. Oops.)) -- we both collapsed onto her bed and TRIED please, note TRIED to sleep.

But HER FUCKING DAD realized: horny teenage boy + Daddys baby girl + one bed + in girls room + alone = boy should sleep on floor. Yay. I love floor. NOT. But as soon as her dad left to go to his room (the living room; they have a small house and only two bedrooms. One for brother (who I spend half of my visits here trying to avoid) and the other for her) TEN MINUTES LATER Darby allowed me to join her (putting me on the far side of the bed under a poop-ton of blankets) and I slept like a bay-bay. Now Im seeing why I dont stay here often. --Were watching movies in almost all of my classes. American History: Sargent York (I think?) Health: 28 Days (not the zombie one; the one with Sandra Bullock when shes an alcoholic. We just started it and I already like it lots. But we had to skip the first like seven minutes of it, because there was partying and nudity. sad face.) English: The Outsiders and Gone with the Wind (because Ponyboy and Jonnycake mentioned Gone with the Wind, and Mr. Davis wanted us to understand why they did; and yes, if you read The Outsiders, they mention Great Expectations. Wed probably be watching it right now, too, but we watched it the first two weeks of school (colored and black and white one) Oh, and were also reading The Outsiders, too. We might read Gone with the Wind)andyeah.) .thats it Hmmthought it was more. Anyway, Im in Study Hall now the first one and it hasnt even started yet (we got three minutes until it does) and Im already really bored. I mentally whined out a groaned and stomped my feet, pissed that Emmy wasnt here yet. Shes here today, right? If not, I swear to God OH HEY THERE SHE IS. EMMY LOOKS GOOD TODAY.

She looked over to me and grinned, playing with her loooong brown hair, as she sat her stuff down at her table a whole two tables away. I nodded at her. Emily. Come hither. She obeyed, skipping to me. Howdy, partner. How may I be of service? Oh uhm Why did I want her over here ? I dont remember Hey, did you finish that thing for Otter Pop? (Ms. Otte) Yup. she said, big smile. Ew. You suck. Go away, you over achiever. She just stuck her tongue out, walking back over to her table. I got out my Science folder as soon as the bell rang. Big, fat, loud Study Hall teacher got up from her desk. She looked down at the seating chart and then back up, checking to see if anyone wasnt here today. MIKE CLEM?! she screeched. CLAY RICHARDSON? EMILY ELDRIDGE? ARE ANY OF YOU HERE TAKE OUT YOUR HEADPHONES, GUYS. NO? OKAY, TEACHERS PASSES TO MY SIDE. Everyone who had a pass got up and went to the sign out sheet including Emmy. DAMN IT. Now I have no one to make stupid faces at. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFor some reason, I noticed scrawny, blonde, also loud Study Hall teacher looking my way. It took me a few seconds to realize she wasnt looking directly at ME, but at the two loud-mouths to my left. Her heels sounded like guns going off in the very quiet lunch/Study Hall room. She marched up to the two and said, Alec, get up. The blonde dude groaned loudly, but got his stuff together. She looked down at the seating chart she had in her hands, and then told him, Come with me. and almost everyone watched her lead him to his new seat, all the way on the other side of the cafeteria. Unfortunately, the girl who was sitting in that seat was forced to move into his old seat, which was right next to me, if you dont remember.

Awwww. Shes adorable. Like a little tiny thing. And shes mixed like black and white. Oh, shes adorable. She sat her stuff down, and then herself. Evil blonde lady said, Sorry about your luck, to her. OH HAIL NAW. THIS BITCH BETTER NOT BE TALKING ABOUT ME. But the kid Alec talks to ALL THE TIME rolled his eyes and sighed with boredom. Whoever the little tiny girl was did a little tiny girl giggle and said, in her little tiny girl voice, Oh, its okay. OH MAH GOSH.<3 Okay, when the time is right, I will make her speak some more. --My mom and I are going to Taco Bell. :D We just took Darby home after being at mine for more than a week and decided, in spite of her, to go to Taco Bell without her. >:) We went through the drive-thru because Mother was in her ratty-ass pajamas and didnt want people to think she was a hobo or s/t. I dunno. She said something like that. It was funny. But there were like twenty cars in front of us. We were just about to back out and go inside when thirty more piled in behind us. Wonderful how was school? I shrugged. Meh. It was fine. Were watching 28 days in Heath, andI dont know. Its good. Her eyes went a little wide. The zombie movie? No, Mother. Its the one with Sandra Bullock and shes an alcoholic. Oh! Yeah, yeah. With Steve the Pirate? Oh yes. Yeah, Ive seen it. Good movie. We sat in silence, patiently waiting for it to be our turn to order. But, JFC, whoever was currently ordering was taking their God damn time.

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. What are they doin up there we got a damn retard working at Taco Bell LETS GO. Oh, yeah. UhmI can be really offensive when peeved. Oh, and yeah. My mom lets me cuss. She says teenagers are gonna cuss and party and be retarded no matter what parents do or say, so why bother trying to stop them. Good parent, right? Mom just nodded, agreeing with me. Damn. Right? Wouldnt surprise me. She started jumping up and down in her seat, clenching her manicured fingers around the steering wheel. HURRY UP. IM GOING INTO LABOR, AND NEED MY TACO. I made a gun with my hands and shouted, POP, POP, POP, WATCHIN MUTHAFUCKAS DROP. Kirsten (thats her name, by the way) cackled, shoving me. Youre such a bad kid. Dont hate me cause you aint me. Then she tried to be cool and said, Whatevs. NoMom, stop. Twhaaaaaaat? Why would I do that, homeboy? I dropped my head into my hands, rubbing my forehead. No. Just dont. Dont hate the player, hate the game. I laughed at that. You aint got no game. I reminded her, matter-of-factly. Do to. I shook my head, wishing the one car in front of us would be catapulted into the sky and wed take their place, because they mustve been sharing their life stories. I swear theyve been up there ordering for almost five minutes same as all the other fifty thousand cars before them. Do I have swag? I looked at her, baffled. What? Swag. she said again. Do I have it? Uhm I hear you youngsters talking about swag all the time, and I want some Tilly said I did. The four year old? She nodded. Yes, Mom. You have swag.

Yay. YAAAAAAAAY. ITS OUR TURN. Im sorry, but can you hold on for a minute? a little, tiny girl voice said over the order-takerthingy. My swagless Moms fake niceness came out as she smiled and said, Oh, its fine. Sure I think thats Wendy. Bitch, I dont know who Wendy is. Cool I hate when shes around other people and Im there with her, because shes so fake. She acts really nice and weird, and always tries to show off like shes the funniest thing ever. And then when were alone again, shes back to normal and bossing me around. Its really fucking annoying. Never Tilly or Colton. NEVER. Its always me she treats like shit. Its like, in her eyes, Tillys embalmed in gold and is Heaven on Earth. And Coltons just their fuck-up kid, so they dont even bother with him. And then me the one stuck in the middle and a burden. EVEN THOUGH I DONT DO SHIT. I honestly think Im the better kid out of all three of us. Colton has been in Juvie SO many times for stupid things. Hes got breaking and entering, trespassing, aggravated assault, hes the worst klepto I have ever meant, and trust me, Ive met many. He always gets caught. And he gambles and drinks and smokes and all this shit. Sure, I drink and smoke and steal SOMETIMES, but, shit, Im not dumb enough to get caught. The only reason hes not in Jail now hes old enough is because my Dad went to law school and is a pretty good lawyer. Plus, he knows a crap ton of people on both sides of town, and because hes a cute little ginger boy according to many of his female friends -- he can just smooth-talk his way through anything. Tilly can just get annoying as fuck. And - Its just so annoying Hi, Im sorry, again. the little voice squeaked. She sounds so familiar Oh, its alright, sweetie. the fakest bitch in the world said. What can I get you? Uh Nate, what do you want again?

Same thing I always get Chalupa. XXL? No. Alright, two Chalupa Supremes. Anything else? she asked. WHERE. WHERE DO I KNOW YOU FROM? Kirsten shook her head. Nope. Were good. Okay. Your total is blah, blah blah. Whatever. Anyway. We came to the conclusion that Wendy was the reason we were still in line for twenty minutes. Apparently, my mom talked to her last week supposedly her and Wendy go way back and she knew Wendy when she was just a little baby and yaaaddaaahhh yaaahh and she told mom that she had applied for a job at Taco Bell, but didnt think she was going to get it. And then a few days ago, she talked to my Mom again and told her she got the job and yeah. SO POINT IS, shes new and sucks at taking orders. Shes just the cutest little thing ever, Nate. she continued on as if I cared. You have to meet her. Youll love her No promises. I muttered bluntly, looking out the Wendy I MEAN, WINDOW. wtf? Honest mistake. (Author: No honestly. I accidentally wrote Wendy instead of window, but didnt feel like fixing it.) Oh, cheer up, buttercup. No. Geez, whats up your bum? You. Youre tacky and I hate you. Nothing. I said just as we pulled up to the second window the first one is fucked, I guess. And OH MY GOD. The little Wendy chick ( Author: Totally spelled chick wrong, and then Word

corrected it. IT WOULDVE BEEN HILARIOUS TO SEE HOW BAD I MESSED THAT UP. EFF YOU MICROSOFT) is that chick that now sits next to me in Study Hall. I almost shit myself when I saw her. Anyway, after listening them go on and on about some girl shit I didnt care about, we finally got our food and went home. --Have you ever heard Maggie laugh before? I asked Darby the following Monday at lunch. She nodded, finishing off her last three fries at once. She mimicked Maggies laugh. I laughed because she had imitated her laugh perfectly. Yeah, she said with a chuckle. Why? I shrugged. She laughs like a women. Darby thought about it and laughed. I never thought of it that way, but . Just then, we both heard a distinct mature laugh. Maggies. (Oh and, yeah, we dont sit with Maggie and Emmy anymore, believe it or not. Were back to our normal seat.) Perfect timing. Yeah, Darby laughed and then nodded. Like a women. Told ya. Im gonna take my tray up. I informed her, standing. She made a weird noise as if to say Wait for me, standing up, too. She shoved a sporkful of pumpkin pie into her mouth, quickly realized that was a bad idea its school pumpkin pie; sucks ass. EW! she groaned, spitting it back out. This school sucks. I nodded, agreeing. Right. We walked the twenty-odd feet to the place where you put your dirty trays and then Darby suggested we should go to the Commons. (Where almost everyone goes after theyre done eating.) I didnt completely like the idea, because that Luke kids in our lunch and he always goes to the Commons and so does Maggie and this slut, Stephanie. (Ill tell you all about her if we see her there.) But I said sure and off we walked. And I decided to tell Darby about some random story that has no point and doesnt relate to this story at all. And Im gonna cue you guys in half-way through it, so you have no clue what Im talking about. (:

my Moms friend gave me a ride home, so I didnt have to walk thank God. But shes all about Jesus - Darby laughed. Wonderful. Yeah, I chuckled as I said, and she had all these Bibles in her backseat, and she kept playing this Jesus music. It was hilarious. Oh, my God. I would die ew. She frowned once we got to the Commons. Too many people. And there was. Way too many. And oh, look. Stephanie. And that was also true. And she was sitting with Lucifer. The slut. I said with a snarl. OKAY. Wanna know why we dont like that hoe? Weeellllwe used to be cool with her and everything, but then she had to go be a skank and start mackin on Darbys boyfriend her first boyfriend, ever. Yeah. And she repeated this with every guy Darby ever liked. But she didnt just mess with Darby. She had to go fuck my life up too. The dumb bitch was an evil bitch to like three of my ex-girlfriends that I was still cool with and occasionally hung out with. And then decided to date Colton and actually broke his heart. BUT FOR SOME REASON, Darby hasnt completely banished the whore from her life. She still talks to her like nothing ever happened. Now me. I dont play that shit, and Stephanie knows that. She doesnt even bother making conversation with me. Which is fine. I do not want her slut-face in my life ever again, and make it a priority to avoid her at all costs. Ive been doing pretty good. But Darby always drags me along with her whenever Stephanie wants to talk to her. But, thank the Lord, Stephanie must not have noticed us, because she didnt wave Darby over, and Darby wasnt in the mood for chit-chatting with the Devil, and we both turned quickly, running back to the lunchroom. We got halfway there and then the bell rang. I laughed evilly while Darby groaned. My sixth period class is Davis, which is right outside the lunchroom, and Darbys in Health, which is well, you know where that is. The reason we have mixed emotions about it is becausewellI dont know. We just do. Eighty pages. yeah. This pointless story has been going on for eighty pages now. eff yeh. Just thought Id tell you.

Anyway. I dont really know what other pointless shit I can tell you about or make you witness, soI just think Ill end this whole story now. Yeah. So Sorry. Especially if you liked it (for some odd reason) Theres just no point anymore. Sorry for wasting your time. Bye.

Just kidding.

EIGHTY-FOUR PAGES. WOO! Yeah. So, lets get back to the pointless-ness, shall we? So, here I am, chillin on my bed, 12am, not a school night, watching porn, YA KNOW. And you know what sucks? I have to settle for shitty porn sites, because all the good ones (i.e x-art and theres another one, but cant think of it right now.) or just ones with HD (but now that I think of it, do I really wanna see that shit in High-Def? Nahh) you have to be a member. Yeah, not a big deal, right? Just sign up, nbd. WRONG. You have to pay for that shit. Like, $20 bucks a month. Not worth it, so I stick to Spankwire and Pornhub and XVIDEOS. Meh. But still. I feel like Im missing out. Why are we talking about this again? OH YEA. BECAUSE I LOVE BEING POINTLESS AND GOING ON ABOUT NOTHING. DUHh. Oh, I went on Redtube one time, back in sixth grade. I thought it was another version of Youtube. It sure was. THE NAKEY VERSION. Hmm. Havent been on there since. I should go check it out. Oh, wow. Theres a warning. This website contains sexually explicit material. Well, no shit. And then there were two buttons under that. One said ENTER the other said EXIT. I was tempted to hit EXIT, just too see where itd take me. (Author: DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PORN SITES I CHECKED OUT? JUST SO THE CHARACTER SEEMED MORE LIKE A GUY TO YOU JUST FOR THS ONE SCENE(MAYBE MORE), NOT LKE THE GIRL WHO WROTE THIS STORY? A LOT. you get it, right? f u dnt o welllll.) NEXT TIME. EW. THATS WHAT A CREAMPIE IS? That screenshot does not make it look pleasant. Oh, and word of advice, to any of you ladies out there that plan on doin porn thats gonna end up being public, please, PLEASE shave before you do. And while were on the topic of not shaving, No Shave November, does NOT apply to GIRLS.

Just please. Hey, you know what I realized. You havent met Tilly yet. You should. Shes adorable. Yes, even though shes a pain in the butt, I love her. She my favorite sister. *: Just then, there was a little knock on my door. oH I WONDER WHO THAT COULD BE. Since I knew for a fact it was Tilly (she always comes into my room around this time) I said, Whats the password? I just heard a little Tilly giggle and then, Its Bwittany, bitch. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh, my. I am a bad brother. You may enter. She pushed open the door and stood there, leaning against it. She said, Naaatee. I had a bad dweam. She kept looking behind her like she was scared. So I shut my laptop and scooted over to the edge of my bed. Come hither. I said, arms out. She quickly ran over to me, hopping into my arms. I pretended like she had gained a shit-ton of weight and picking her up was a hassle, blah blah blah. You know, basically making her feel bad about herself. But shes too young to understand that I just insulted her and giggled like it was the funniest thing ever. I plopped her down next to me and then got up to shut my door, because she didnt. -_Can we watch a mooooovieee? she asked as soon as I got up. Why, of course. I shut my door and headed over to the TV. Whatcha wanna watch? The Incredibles. Oh, fuck yeah. Great choice. So we did watch that. And lemme tell ya, Tilly is an excellent cuddle-buddy. Shes just so tiny and huggable. <3 She fell asleep ten minutes in, and I ended up watching it twice. Ooh. Violet would make a hot person if she was real. She kinda reminds me of this chick April Oneil. Not the Ninja Turtles chick. This onewellshes pornstar. Yeah. Shes hot. And I dont think her tits are fake so *thumbs up* They dont look fake. They look like Darbys like a

perfect copy of hers. And her nip-nips are the same exact size its weird -- and Darbys arent fakeI dont think so, anyway. Be kind of a downer if they were. Yeah, but that April chick shes a ho. In this one video I saw of her, she doesnt really look like one shes all shy and shit, and then in ten other ones, shes a shank. Like, 169% slut. Its weird. Yet hot. O-o OKAY, TILLY. YOU NEED TO GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM. I picked Tillian up and carried her out of my room, down the hall to the left and turned right to her room. I laid her down and covered her up with her Harry Potter blanket. Cool, right? Makes me love her a little bit more. Sex just sounds so good right now. js. I skipped out of her room, whistling a happy, upbeat tune in my mind. Hmm. Im feeling kinda thirsty. I continued my skip into the kitchen, getting a Coca Cola out of the fridge. Im surprised we had any left. Colton and his stoner friends usually drink and eat everything. Oh, and I got a Poptart the Smore kind. <3 Geezwhats up with all the <3s ????? Ah, well. On my way back to my room, I stopped in the living room. Well, thats where my baby is Chubbs. Oh, he makes my days worth while. And he was the only one awake well, him and Katrina. Anyway, I chilled with them for, like, five minutes and then off I went to me room. I was oddly surprised to see a certain someone lightly knocking on my door. WHAT THE FUCK, ASHLEY. THAT WAS A ONE (plus two) TIME THING. GO AWAY. Uh She quickly turned to me. OhHi, she said, looking down at her hands.

Sup II thought you were You werent in your room, though. Ive been standing here for, like, five minutes - Kitchen. She stopped talking. What? The kitchen, I said again. I...I was in the kitchen - I dont wanna sound mean, butwhat the hell do you want? She kind of laughed and shrugged. Colton snores and I cant sleep - Then go home? and, well, you dont OhWhy are you still dating him? I asked, remembering how much she said he hurt her. I thought you were done with him. She didnt say anything at first, and then she shrugged. I, I dont know. I I sighed. Okay, well, I walked past her into my room. I guess, I guess you can sleep in here. Oh, really? Thanks, Nate. She walked in behind me, and, out of habit (and whenever she decided she wants to chill with me, things happen), I closed the door behind her. Being the gentleman I was (Hobo: HAHAHAHA. WHAT A JOKE ! Me: Fuck off, eh?) I said, You can sleep on my bed. What about you? she asked suddenly looking confused and innocent. I shrugged, setting my drink and Poptart on my nightstand. I went and grabbed a few blankets out of my closet and a couple pillows. I dropped them on the ground and pointed to the floor. Here. But this is your room. I cant take your bed. Thats thats rude. Again, I shrugged. Its fine. But she shook her head. Sleep with me I, I mean, up herewith me. I dont mind. Well, thats cool. ButI kinda mind. I mean, theres nothing wrong with her, but shes Coltons. And I already betrayed him when weya knowd. And we didnt do it just that once; we did it, like, five other times after that.

Nothing has to happen. she said, reading my mind. But what if something does? I cant keep doing that to him. I get that. But, but what if I want it? What about that? I dont know? OH, CRAP. SHES GETTING UP. She wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me close to her. oh deer lord shes playing with my hair. Who cares if hes okay with it? Hes never gonna be. Im done with him. Done. I swear. If you want, Ill break up with him. Tomorrow. Just I like the way you make me feel. You wont. I said, knowing she wouldnt break up with him even if someone paid her to. I say someone instead of me, because Im broke, n1gg4h. Im broke. Yes, I will! Just, please. Make me feel good again. Please. Just one more time. WELL, DAMN. OKAY. Hey, want a detailed sex scene? Okay, here goes are you ready? I can get pretty raunchy: I stuck my penis in her vagina and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust until ORRRGGAAAASSSSMMMM. And then thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust until another ORRRGGGGGAAAAAAAASSSSSSSMMMM.

And then guess what. Thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust and thrust until you guessed it ANOTHER ORRRRGGGAAASSSSMMMM because Im just that good. It was nice. Alright, later gator.

-- Chapter Eight

ohmygolly. this is all really pointless. I mean, EIGHT chapters. OF POINTLESSNESS. WHY ARE YOU STILL READING? Oh, and just so you know, Im not usually this much of a hoeand that rhymed. Anyway, yeah. Its just three people (possibly just two). Not THAT bad, right? I mean, Maggie to be fair, she WAS my girlfriend at the time. And Ashley, wellI dont really know what to say about her. And (POSSIBLY) Darby. Shes been my best bud for a loooooooong time, and we might have not even did it, so Well, not JUST three (or two?). I mean, not gonna lie, did it with more than three (or two) people. I think its four. Possibly five. HEY, I GET HIGH A LOT. REAVE ME ARONE. There might have been this one chick, but I dont know. Its a little weird to ask, so I just never did. And oh my God. Thanksgiving was BORE-RING, but break was alright. There was school Monday blagh and Tuesday, too, but Darby woke up that morning and didnt feel good Im sure so my Mom called me in and Darbys Dad called her in.

Believe it or not, that was a really boring day. We couldnt do anything or go anywhere. We were supposed to be in school. We just went on Movies2k and watched movies all day i.e Insidious, A Walk to Remember Darby bawled her eyes out the whole time and 50/50. Oh, and Cruel Intentions omg that movie. Darby stayed at my house again and we watched some marathon on Syfi, and when my dad got home, we had THE weirdest conversation ever. He was bragging about how he read the whole Twilight Saga while he was in jail he didnt pay taxes. And then he got all sassy when Darby and I laughed at him. He said, Well, it was either that or How to Build A Cabinet and I already know how to build a cabinet. It was funny. See, now. Hes kinda like my mom you know, a hypocritical bitch and when hes not trying to tell me what to do, hes pretty alright. And then he started preaching about the Bible to us. Believe it or not, hes a hardcore God lover. But he totally fucked it up and went against God, because he kept saying faggot/s and cunt about twenty times especially when he was talking about Abraham and bestiality and all that. It. was. hilarious. But then Darby sadly had to go, because Thanksgiving was tomorrow and all. But, like I said, Thanksgiving was boring. We didnt even celebrate today. (we are Saturday at my g-pas.) We just sat around the house all day. My Mom and Dad exchanged their thoughts on why the other shouldnt be alive (it was just one of those days, I guess); Colton was too busy screwing Ashley surprise, surprise. Told you she wouldnt break up with him -- so I wasnt blessed with hearing him go on and on about what an acrobat she was in bed AS IF I DIDNT ALREADY KNOW -- and Tillian was chillaxn with me up in my room. And my Mom ordered Papa Johns last night, because she knew they wouldnt be open today, so we were eating some of that. Tilly got herself another YES, another slice of pizza and said, Hey, bubby. Yes, bubby. Thats what Mother calls me sometimes she calls Tilly sissy. She doesnt call Colton anything special, though. Except, from time to time, Cole-tawn. Not really anything great, but he always gets twenty times happier when she does. Yes, Tillian?

Whats sex? Something you are never going to participate in. She gave me a look BITCH, DONT BE GETTING A TUDE WITH ME. Youre four. You shouldnt even be asking me this. I blame my Mom for her having all these questions about that, uhm, topic. Its her fault for letting her watch the Hangover with us and actually answering Tilly when she asked alright this is the convo Tilly: Mom, whats that? Mom: Oh, thats a condom, sweetie. Tilly: Ohwhats a condom? Mom: *le tells her* Tilly: Ohwhats sex? YEAH. HER. FAULT. What makes you think I know what it is? I asked, staring at the TV instead of answering her. Well, I dont want to explain it again. Im obviously not that great of an explainer of that if shes still confused and has to keep asking me. Colton told me to ask you he says you major in it or whatever, and do it all the time. FUCK. YOU. NOT COOL BRO. I sat there. Oh Yeah, so what is it? I just said, No. WHY NOT?!?!?!?!?!?! she whined in her little annoying kid voice. Because I said so. OH GOD. I SOUND LIKE MY MOM. NO NO NON NONONONONOOO. But she groaned and shut her mouth. But, of course, she didnt stay quiet for long. Why do you hurt Ashley? ME? I snapped. ME HURT HER? MORE LIKE HER HURT ME wait, what do you mean? She said, I mean, like at night you hurt her.

Im not sure I understand the question. She sighed and paused. Likewhen she sweeps in your room. You hurt her and she screams and she yells at you. You hurted Maggie, too. oh. Hey, how bout you go hang out with Colton. But I dont wanna hang out with Colton hes mean to me. Well, yeah. Hes a dickhead. Just I picked her up and opened my door, setting her down. Go. I shut the door. WHAT A FUCKING WEIRDO THAT KID IS. Just then my mom shouted, NATE! WHAT? Nothing. WHAT. I shouted again. Still nothing. GOOD GOD WOMEN WHAT. no-thing. I stormed out of my room into the living room where Mother was sitting on the couch with Katrina and London. Yes? Oh, I wasnt sure if you were here or not you are. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? YOU COULDNT HAVE TEXTED ME OR ANSWERED ME BACK SO I KNEW THATS WHAT YOU WANTED? I HAD TO GET UP FOR YOUR BITCH-ASS. FUCK YOU. Yes, I said that to her. Hey, Ive said worse. I screamed again and then took off for my room. And the second I shut my door, maybe a few thirty seconds after, she shouted for me again. I dont know why, but I shouted WHAT. WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW? She mustve actually wanted something, because she yelled back something lengthy. I dont know what, though. WHAT?

She shouted it again. Still dont know what, and I was not planning on getting up. So I texted her. But instead of answering me via text, she shouted it again. So I yelled, CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIFE, I DONT HAVE SONIC-HEARING. JUST TEXT ME. GOOD LORD. But she didnt. I jumped up and ran back into the living room, furious with this slut. WHAT? I love you, honey. That was not what she was yelling at me. I was so pissed. I wanted to rip the door of its hinges and beat her with it and then flip the coffee table on top of her, and suffocate her with one of the throw pillows if she was still alive. I settled with flipping her off. She just smiled and went back to watching The Office. I stomped back to my room muttering, dumb bitch. I hope you die. I mean, seriously. Who does that? Evil people, thats who I slammed my door shut and screamed, GOD. I HATE YOU!!!! srsly tho who does tht? But yeah, Thanksgiving was boring. Argh. Okay, NOW she texts me. She said that my cousin (ALLY) was gonna bring her new boyfriend to Grampas Saturday. Cool. She always brings them to g-pas she kinda has to. I dunno why, but she thinks my opinion matters and makes me decided whether or not she can continue dating them. Seriously. If I find ONE THING I happen to not like about them that she loves shell break up with them. Its kinda dumb to me, but w/e. its cool. So how bout we fast forward to Saturday, eh? God. Tilly is so annoying. I mean, I love her and all, shes my baby, but if shes sitting down for more than thirty seconds, and knows she cant get up and walk around, she starts crying. Not joking. And the drive there is twenty minutes, so shes just crawling around the car having a bf (bitch fit). And Mother and Father were bitching to each other again today, so *gag*. Surprisingly, Colton was the only one not annoying me.

He was just chilling, looking out the window, listening to his iPod, not bugging any of us. Fucking genius. Listen to music. Great idea. So I tried that please, note TRIED. The second my headphones were in my ears everyone decides they wanna talk to me. I was fucking pissed. Tilly kept crawling onto my lap, crying, Naaaaatttteee! Nate, I have to pee! Bubbby! Waaaaaahhhhhh!!!!! AAHHHHHHH!!! So, me being me, I yelled at her. TILLY, SHUT THE FUCK UP. Just hold it, you fucking baby. God damn. That only made her cry more. I wanted to chuck her out the window. And my mom had the brains to say, NATE. Dont fucking yell at her. What the fuck is wrong with you Tilly, SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I SWEAR TO GOD IM GOING TO KILL YOU. REALLY? I snapped. You get to yell at her, but I dont? Yes, she said. I do. Shes my kid. Dont you cuss at her either. I turned to Tilly. Hey, Tilly. Go fuck yourself. Oh, now Tilly thought that was hilarious, and started laughing. And I dont know if that was better than the crying, because I just knew she wasnt going to stop anytime soon. Once you get Tilly really laughing at something, she will not stop unless you hit her, or threaten to. Now, I dont actually hit her. Thats Moms job or occasionally Fathers. I just threaten to. Yet shes still their baby girl their reason to wake up every day and keep on keepin on. Great. she said, turning around, facing the road again shes not driving, by the way. Dad is. Way to fucking go, Nate. She knew Tilly was gonna be really into this laughing thing. I waited for her to continue, but Colton beat her to it. Jesus fucking Christ, Tilly! he groaned, ripping out a headphone. It wasnt that funny. Shut up! HEY. Mom screeched, turning to him. Same goes for you, you little fucker TILLY, SHUT UP OR I WILL BEAT THE FUCK OUT OF YOU WHEN WE GET HOME. Oh, yea. That also works. Tilly immediately stopped and started playing with her toes. Where are her shoes??? Thats so not fair! he yelled back. How come you get to yell at her all you want, but we cant? She annoys us just as much as she annoys you. Ohmygod I actually agree with Colton. Me: But God forbid we yell at her and treat her like you treat her. Youre such a hypocrite. YES, EXACTLY! Colton high-fived me.

She scowled at us, but turned back around. But of course, she couldnt keep her mouth shut. She had to keep talking. I cant believe this. Turning against your mother. I dont have to take this - Oh shut up. I said, annoyed with her. Youre so full of shit. You always say that. Its the same thing every time. Just shut up for once. You know, she went on, this is the reason your life sucks and you hate yourself so much, Nate both of you, actually its because you jump at any chance you can to bash your mother. You know, I gave you life and I honestly wouldnt mind taking it back - Colton jumped in. Youre a terrible mother! You shouldnt even be allowed to have kids. How does it feel to know your kids hate you? Hey, now, Colton. Father said. Oh now he decides to say something. Dont you talk to your mother like that. She may not be the best but she tries. Did you ever think that maybe you guys are the fuck ups? Oh, same to you. Colton shot back. We dont just hate her. Youre not that great either. So, tell me. How does it feel? Sucks, doesnt it? To be hated this much. To know that the only people you really have in life - that are supposed to be there for you - want you dead and wish you werent alive? It hurts, I know. Just go fuck yourself both of you. Wed be better off out on the streets than with you. Woah. Its true, but woah. Oh, stop it. cried and I mean, cried Mom. All of you! This is supposed to be a good day. And were supposed to be thankful, and I cant be thankful for such rotten kids! Oh what the fuck. God, I hate you all. If I could go back in time and not have any of you oh, believe me, I would. Youre horrible kids. Horrible. The only thing Im thankful for is that the world is hopefully going to end next year, so I dont have to deal with you for too much longer. Im pretty sure she was trying to be funny. Oh, Colton said. The feelings mutual. And she whipped around and slapped him. Oh, deer lord. I was about to say that, what Colton said. Kinda glad I didnt. It was oddly silent now. Everyone went quiet. Kirsten and Michael (DAD) looked straight ahead again. Colton went back to listening to his music. I looked and saw Tilly was sleeping somehow. I finally looked out the window again. It was raining. Cool.

Suddenly, Tillys head shot up and she said, Oh, its raining! and then she dropped her head back down on my shoulder, falling asleep. Weirdo. We might as well not even go now. our robot of a Father said, when we were only a few houses away from Grampas. Kinda too late now, isnt it? We should just go back home. No. She shook her head. We already told them we were coming Somebody, wake her up. she said as we pulled up into the driveway. I ended up being the one to wake Tilly up. As soon as the car was parked, Colton hopped out and went for the house. Mom and Dad jumped out to, following behind him. I opened the door and picked Tilly up, getting out. Ally and her Dad were already here and her boyfriend. Her Dads car was parked next to Grampas. The second I stepped foot in that house, Ally and her boyfriend turned to me. They were sitting at the table the only ones at the table. Kirsten and Michael were in the kitchen talking to Grampa. I dont know where Colton was. Allys Dad (our uncle) was sitting in a recliner, watching football. I tried not to act freaked out and walked passed them to the couch where Tilly and I always sit, and laid Tilly down, sitting beside her. Tilly instantly woke up and crawled onto my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck, falling asleep again. Alright. Ally turned to boyfriend. Josh, this is Nate, my little cousin. Nate, this is Josh. Yes, Allys older than me which really makes me wonder why she cares about my opinion so much. Josh reached out his hand for me. Hi, Im Josh. Still kinda in a bad mood I said, Oh, no fuckin way. Thats so cool. Wouldve never guessed it. Not like Ally didnt just say it twice or anything. But now I know for sure. Thanks. But I still shook his hand. Thats all that matters, right? -_But then I realized that was mean. Im sorry. That was kinda mean, wasnt it? He nodded and shrugged. Its just not having a great day, I guess. Nah, man. Its cool. I understand. I shook my head and gritted my teeth with a smile. No. You really dont.

Before he could say anything, Tilly suddenly sat up and screamed, really effin loud for, like, ten seconds, and then stopped, laying back down on me. Joshs face = ha. Uh heh heh. Sorry. She does that sometimes. She kinda has a sleeping disorder or just really freaky dreams. I dunno. Somebody wont take her to get checked. I shot Mom a look. She just flipped me off, still in the kitchen. Fuck off, Nate. Right after you suck my dick. I shot back with a wicked grin. Still Joshs face. Ohkay. Well what grade are you in? Really? I asked, raising a brow. He nodded so I decided to answer him. Tenth. And you? Oh, Im in College. Freshman. But, lets see. Tenth, sophomore. That would make youwhat, fifteen? Sixteen? I nodded. Sixteen as of August 12th. Yourself? Nineteen. Okay, so just a year older than Ally. Oh, I dont believe I mentioned this Allys last boyfriend, his name was Cody. They were engaged. Yup. As soon as she got out of high school, he proposed. But then after being engaged for like four months, I dont know what happened, but suddenly Ally-kins was single. And now shes dating this kid if I approve, that is. Okay, Tillys a weirdo. She stood up again and then just stood there. Shes just STANDING there. Right now. Im scared. But he seems pretty alright. But its probably just an act. I mean, he is at her Grampas house for a late Thanksgiving, her Dads here, and her Aunt and Uncle, two boy cousins and a little girl. Totally couldnt be himself here. I suddenly heard someone yell out, NNO. OH MY GOD. WHAT WAS THAT? I looked up to see it was Josh, yelling at the TV. Really into football, eh? Uh, he chuckled. Yeah. Ohio against Michigan, kind of a big deal. Is it? Nope. Not to me. I know. Weird. A guy who doesnt love football. :O I dont understand what goes on. Allys the same way. So football worshiping boyfriend + lets go fly a kite girlfriend = this relationship should work out G R E A T. I looked at Ally and she just shrugged. Then I looked at Tilly. Still standing there.

My Grampa walked out of the kitchen with a big thing of spiral ham and set it on the table. Mom walked out with a big bowl of green beans and Father was right behind her with big bowl of biscuits and little thing of butter. They looked up at Tilly for a few seconds and then went back to setting up the table. Nate, my Mom said, setting the green beans on the table. Wake her up wheres Colton? Just as I was about to poke her, Tilly suddenly opened her eyes and screamed and then fell back asleep. I dont know where he is. I said, and against my will, I started shaking Tilly. Tilly, get your ass up. She opened her eyes and looked around. Food? I smiled yup, shes my sister. Yes, food. She hopped up off the couch and grabbed my hand. Nate, sit next to me. she said, dragging me over to the table. Just as we sat down, the front door open and in walked Colton. I thought he was inside? When did he go outside? What? Mother turned towards him, hands on her hips. Where have you been? she asked, giving him the eye. He held up a pack of Marlboro Reds. Outside. She just shook her head and laughed grimly. Sit your ass down. He mocked her quietly, but sat down to the right of Tilly. I was on the left. Dinner was slightly awkward. No one really talked, but when they did it was to Josh, just asking him questions. I guess Ally told him that the only way theyd continue dating was if I approved of him, because he kept talking to me, and if someone other than me asked him anything, hed answer them and then look at me almost like he was trying to see if it was a good answer. And I swear, Ally kept silently judging him and wincing every time he took a bit of the ham. See, shes a vegetarian has been for three years, since she was fifteen. She brought her own little vegetarian lasagna and ate that along with her sushi. Odd combo, but she seemed to like it. And I fucked with Josh so much. Like I asked if he was a virgin, have they had sex yet, if no, were they planning to, what was his PIN code, social security number, D.O.B, if he believed in 2012 normal questions. And he would just laugh and give me sarcastic answers. Which made me like him a little bit more.

Apparently, like Ally, hes really Christian-y, and just might worship God a little more than football. But he is WAY different than Cody. Cody was a Christian, too, but not as much as him. And Cody was a skateboarder; Josh was a football player. And I swear Cody looked like he couldve been Jesus. He had the beard and everything. Josh looked all clean and, dare I say, preppy-ish. Plus, Cody was a Vegetarian, too. Why did they break up? I mean, I didnt really like Cody that much, but they were just good together. And nothing against Josh, but Cody was a cool guy. Just wondering. But then again, Cody scrapbooked. After dinner, everyone put their dishes in the sink, and my Mom went all nice and helped Grampa wash them. Everyone else sat in the living room and watched football. Except Tilly. She crawled back into my lap and slept some more. Great, all this sleeping means shes gonna be up all night, and guess who gets to deal with her. ME. And for some reason, Josh still felt like he had to talk to me. Have you ever been to Harrisons? he asked me and I shook my head. My Mom has. He grinned up at my Mom. Well, thats where I work. Yeah? she said with a fake smile. He nodded. Yup. And Im not trying to be cocky, butits good. You guys should come down there sometime. When Im working, of course. My Mom continued to smile. Will do. He turned to my Dad and studied him. Howd you lose your thumb? he asked. Ahh. He looked down at it. Im a carpenter. And I was working on this building mustve been three stories high, and I was working on the roof. And so I was measuring a piece of wood for a window and then when I went to cut it this faggot, Jason sneezed. Scared the hell out of me. Well, anyways, so he sneezed and fucked me up and I ended up sawing the tip of my thumb off. Josh grimaced. Ouch.

Yeah, he said with a sigh, and then shrugged. But Im still alive. Yeah, Josh said. Almost cut the tips of my fingers off all of them when I was working the other day. Scared me half to death. I almost cried. I was cutting up some red peppers and the manager told us to keep our fingers tucked in. And I forgot to that time, and my buddy, Ronnie, bumped into me. And I almost lost them glad I didnt. That would sucksorry. My Dad laughed and said it was alright. I felt someone/thing pull on my arm. It was Tilly. Naaaatttteeee. she said all sleepy. Cuddle wiff me. She didnt even wait for a response from me. She yanked me down behind her so we were both lying down, and cuddled up against me, pulling my arms around her. Girl knows what she wants and how to get it. We all continued to watch TV until 6:00pm. Ally said, Daddy, go get the pie. Pumpkin pie, derrr. It is Thanksgiving. He just said, No. But, Daddy! Its alright, Josh said, getting up. Ill get it. Kiss ass. Oh, no. My mom got up. Sit. Youre our guest Nate, go get the pie. Fuck ass. Josh didnt protest but I sure as hell did. No. I said looking at her like she was crazy. Fine. She turned to Colton. Colton. Go get it. But - Now. Fine. He got up, walking into the kitchen returning a few seconds later with the pie still in the box. He sat it on the table. My mom looked at him expectantly. Wheres the plates? Spoons? Forks? When he didnt show that he had them, she continued, Go get them. Now.

He groaned at her and, man, if looks could kill. But he went and got them. Hmm. Maybe Coltons got it worse than I thought. When they do acknowledge his existence its bad. At least theyre not evil to me ALL the time. Sometimes were cool with each other. But they ignore Colton, like he isnt even alive. And they refer to him as their experiment child that they were just testing their parenting skills with. Thats gotta suck. Butthe pie was good. So, did I pass? Josh asked almost everyone. They all laughed except Colton (who was still in a bad mood) and Tilly (she fell asleep on me again) and I (I just wasnt feeling it) but before they told him yes or no, they all turned to me. I was tempted to say no, but I just shrugged and said, I approve. And I swear to you, Josh got up and leaned over the table. I think he wants to hug me. You know, I said, immediately backing away (Tilly almost fell off me). There are those moments that you think are perfect hugging moments when, in actuality, they arentthis is one of those moments. Nothing against you or anything just into hugging chicks. But I held out my hand. He laughed and shook it. Anyway, we stayed twenty more minutes and then, instead of just saying we were going home, my Mom made some big speech about how it was really dark out and she was really tired, didnt get much sleep, and eating all that dinner plus the pie really filled her up, and blah blah blah. Thats another thing that pisses me off about her. Just fucking say were going home now. Its not that confusing or heartbreaking. Hell understand. But she just kept going on, which kept us there for another five minutes until Tilly woke up again and started screaming. And I was holding her, so she screamed right in my earso I threw her down. But we got to leave. Im sure shes alright. She said her butt hurts now. ergh. alright. now what? Thanksgivings over. Christmas is in a month. Should I just skip to Christmas? Ooh, how about this. Its November 29th, five days after the real Thanksgiving. Darbys over at my house, of course. We were sitting on my couch, both on a laptop, surfing the World Wide Web when I suddenly got the urge to look outside. I honestly dont know why. So I got up, yanking open the curtains, and OMG GUESS WHAT. OH MY GOD. DARBY ITS SNOWING!!!!

REALLY?! YEAH!! YAAAAAYYYY!!!!! Uhmyeah. Thats it. But it was snowing a lot. Or at least looked like it. The next day all the snow was gone. We were so pissed. We got ourselves all pumped up for there possibly being a two-hour-delay, BUT NO. But anyway, in Study Hall that day, some kid I didnt know walked up to me. Youre Nate, right? Erryes? Oh, well He reached into his bag and pulled outwhaddafuh? Is that my shirt? And pants? Here. You left this back in the woods. I took them from him. Thanks. Yup. He walked away. Well. He sure did take his time getting this back to me. Halloween was like a month ago, but oh well. Oh hey look. Its Emmy. EMMYS LOOKIN FRESH TODAY. WORK THAT UP-DO, HONEY. THANKS, BABE. She sat her stuff down and walked over to me. You have health, right? I nodded. Whats your drug? We have to do these presentations in heath about a certain drug. In front of everybody in our class. Yeah. Im really nervous. Percocet. I said. And yours? GHB. What day? Tuesday. Boo. she frowned. Monday. But hey, I get five bonus points. Yeeaaahhh, eff off.

She stuck her little tongue out and skipped back over to her seat. A couple more seconds passed and then the bell rang. Everyone went back to their seat and big Study Hall lady stood up. She repeatedly looked down at the seating chart and then back up. Hmph. Everyones here. she said, a little dissatisfied. OKAY. TEACHER PASSES TO MY SIDE. I actually got up this time. Teacher pass, fuck yeah. But I had to go take my Math test. I missed Tuesday and like three tests. I already took my Health test this morning and English one yesterday after school. And did fairly well. Is it weird that Im really effing nervous right now? Ive never signed out before, out of Study Hall. What if I somehow fuck up and everyone is late for whatever class they were going to? That would suck. And of course, the one day I decide to go somewhere during Study Hall, Emmy doesnt. BUT OH HEY. LOOK. ITS NIKKI. She wasnt facing towards me, so I ran up to her and kicked her butt. She grabbed it, turning around with a red, shocked face. But when she saw it was me, she grinned and waved. Shes one of those scene girls, one of the few that actually go all out with it, and Im talking all out. She wears tutus and rainbow leggings and Hello Kitty and her hairs dyed all the weird colors and she dyes it every few weeks or so. She just all out. I put my hands on both sides of her face and gave her a big kiss on her forehead. She grinned bigger and did some weird chick thing that meant she was extremely happy. (Im guessing) She moved in front of me, grabbing the pen from some kid in front of her. She gave blonde Study Hall lady a Post-it and then signed her name and next to it Ferriel. But she didnt immediately walk away. Aw. Shes waiting for me. She handed me the pen and I handed Blondie my Post-it. She handed it back to me and I signed my name and then Owen. I gave the kid behind me the pen and off me and Nikki walked out of the Lunch Room. But we didnt stay together long. She continued on straight and I turned to the right, passing three class rooms before turning to the right again entering Mrs. Owens room. Everyone was talking, but as soon as I walked in, they shut up. Only for a few seconds and then they went back to talking a few people went, HI, NATE! I gave them the sup nod. Mrs. Owen was walking around the room checking homework, I suppose. I didnt exactly know what to do, so I just stood there. I looked around the room. No one really special was in hereexcept Maggie. I didnt even notice her at first. I dont know how not, though. She was in the first seat right next to the door.

I gave her a nod. Margret. Nate. I thought that would be it, but she said, Is Darby mad or something? What do you mean? I asked, leaning against her desk. I mean, she just looked mad today is it because of Lacie? Lacies this chick who apparently talks too much shit and cant back it up. I shrugged. Probably. She says shes gonna fight her if she says another word to her. But I love Darby to death, butshes gonna get her ass kicked. Like, she talks a fair game, Id be scared of her, but she cant fist-fight. Ive seen her try before, and she almost got her ass handed to her but Watson came parading out of her room and, like, had a conniption, and made them stop. Exactly. Well, except this one time, she got into a fight with Stephanie whooped Stephanies ass. It was hilarious. Oh, yeah. I heard about that. Last year? Yup. And it was right in front of the office too, and they didnt get caught. Are you serious? I nodded. But Darby got Stephanies shirt over her head and knocked her glasses off and Stephanies iPod went flying across the hall and she just started wailin on her. It was bad. Holy crap. Yeah, but Stephanie did a lot of shit to piss Darby off. So maybe she could beat Lacies ass, who knows. But thatd be a fight Id wanna see. Maggie laughed. Right. And then that was like the end of that conversation until she asked, Why are you here? Oh, uhm, Math test. Oh. What do you have - Informal? Geometry? Before I could tell her - Mrs. Owen nearly made me crap myself when she was suddenly behind me. Sharits, she said, walking to the door. Come with me. I waved goodbye to Maggie and followed Owen out the door. She took me one classroom over to Mrs. Clendenings. But looks

as though Im not the only one that missed the test. That Wendy chick was in here already. No one else but Mrs. Clendening and a student teacher. Cool. Mrs. Owen sat me three desks away from her and handed me the test. If you need any help, just come and ask. She started walking towards the door. And when youre done, bring it back to me. Good luck, Sharits. she tipped Wendy a nod Morgan. And then she left. Holy God, I thought, looking down at my test. Its a packet. Two pages front and back. I instantly got a headache. I mentally sighed (or so I thought.) When I looked up, for some reason getting the urge to, Wendy, Mrs. Clendening and student teacher were all looking at me. I just said, Sorry and I signed my name, looking down at the first question: 1. 2x + 5y = 15 Okay, not bad. Uhmminus 2x from both sidesdivide five from everything. Soy = -2/5x + 3? Lets hope so. Errtwo: 2. 4x 3y = 12 Minus four from both sides, divide everything by -3, and I gety = 4/3x 4.right? Okaaayythree YOU DONT CARE, DO YOU? DIDNT THINK SO. Ill just do this not out loud in my head? eh. I got to question eight when I heard a Pssssst! I reluctantly looked up, this whole situation vaguely reminding me of the first time I met Maggie. Hmm. What if what happened with Maggie happened with Wendy? Like, because thats how Maggie first got my attention. I ask this because thats who went Pssssst! Wendy. I raised my brows, letting her know I heard her. She said, turning a bit pink, Uhm, can I borrow your eraser? Oh. Sure. I threw her my pencil. She caught it and I sat there, waiting for her to finish erasing whatever she needed to erase. I waited for her to go Pssssst! again, but she didnt. Instead, she got up and walked over to me, handing me my pencil. Thanks. she squeaked, turning in direction of her desk and went for it. Aw, shes cute.

Anyway, I finished my test at 9:05, but didnt know if I had to go back to Study Hall or not, because last week, Blondie told us we couldnt come back to Study Hall if we signed outso I just sat there until 9:28 when Cutie got her stuff together and left. Thats when I got my stuff and followed her back to Mrs. Owens room. Everyone was up and talking to someone, except Maggie. She was reading. Wendy had just handed Owen her test and went over to talk to some girl. I gave Owen mine and just stood there. I dont know what to do. Do I go back to Study Hall? Wendy isnt. I asked Mrs. Owen, Sodo we go back to Study Hall? She shook her head, putting away calculators. Nope. Stay here. Alright. I went back over to Maggie and we chit-chatted about health. She has Percocet, too, and goes Thursday the bitch. A minute passed and then the bell rang and Margret and I walked to Study Hall. Oh, and I think were friends again, because she suggested that we should hang out sometime this weekend and work on our projects together. Or she just wants to do it again. Whatevs. Sex is awesome and I like being used for it. Emmy gave me the weirdest look when she saw me and Maggie all buddy-buddy. Ill explain it to her later or Maggie will. -Were basically in a relationship, right? Darby, youre so weird. Thanks. she said with a smile, leaning up against the wall. Were at my house, duh. Just got home from school. I was sitting in the living room; Darby was somewhat in the kitchen, halfway in the living room. But arent we? I just laughed at her but said, Sure. Why? Well, I was just thinking I heated you up some pizza and got you a drink I knew what she was hinting at. And I should return the favor. Yes. Yes, you should.

What do you want? I asked, getting up, walking into the kitchen. Oh, I dunno! she said, walking passed me back into the living room. Lying down on the couch, she added, Surprise me and by that, I dont mean Go kill a cat and serve me its internal organs. WELL, DAMN, then what am I supposed to make you? I said, wittily, rummaging through the freezer, and before she could answer me, I spotted a bag of pizza rolls. She looooovess pizza rolls. NEVER MIND. Okaayyy. I got out exactly eight she has this thing about eating things in even numbers, I dunno and put them on a plate. I popped them in the microwave for one minute and walked back into the living room, plopping down next to her on the couch. I picked up my awaiting bag of Chex-Mix Cookies & Cream thingies. They are YUM. Want some? I asked, holding the bag out to Darbigal. Her eyes lit up and she reached for them. I dont know why I expected her to just take a handful because I knew her better than that. She grabbed the whole bag but only took one out. She would. She began to hand me the bag, but as soon as she popped the Chex into her mouth she went YUM! and yanked the bag back to her, getting out a handful, THEN gave me the bag. These are good. she said, shoving two into her mouth. You say that like I dont know. She stuck her tongue out and then sat up quickly, looking into the kitchen. Fifteen seconds. And? Naaaaate! she whined. Stop it before the beeping! I shook my head. Nope. NATE! Eight seconds. HURRY. You should get that. She groaned loudly, but jumped up, running into the kitchen. I heard the microwave door open, and then her ask, How long?

Forty-six seconds. Kay. She pressed two buttons and then waited a few seconds before hitting Start. She walked back into the living room. Youre so mean; I made you pizza and got you a drink I may have possibly had sex with you, and you still make me make my own food. Who does that? JERKS. May have. I said. Key word. You may have possibly had sex with me. You may not have. But still. She sat down. Not cool. Youre not cool. Your face isnt cool. I know. Its hot. She sat there, trying to comprehend what I meant, and then she said, OHHH. Good one ten seconds. Can you get them this time? Please? No. Pleeeeaaassssseeeee? Ill blow you. Dont play with my head like that, woman. Get it yourself. But but NAAAATTEEE. Hey, you might wanna hurry up. GOD. OKAY, FINE- OH CRAP. NO. - *BEEP BEEP BEEP* - DAMNIT! Ha. Fuck you. See, now. If you suggested that too, I may have got them. She flipped me off, so I said, Oh, sure, I wouldve used my fingers and everything, but nooooooo. Youre so gross. she said with a laugh, getting up. Which is why I think youre dad doesnt like me. I think that, too.

I like being that one kid parents hate, the one they warned you about, and then when your children hang out with me anyway, it just - Its cool. I like pissing people off. (: I have to pee. Darby suddenly said the second she walked into the living room. She sat her food down on the coffee table and then bolted down the hall to the bathroom. k cool. . Wow. The time Im actually alone, when its okay for me to think about something and go on and on about it, I cant. I cant think of anything. darn, right? Uhm, Maggie and I. I dunno. Were gonna bang this weekend, I know it. She wants me to come over to her house this time. But Emmys gonna be there, so I think so anyway. I kinda hope so. Is that weird? (oh look at me. Im rambling) That I want Emmy there? Not for, like, an odd threesome, but like I wanna do her (Maggie) and everything, but not really, ya know? I kinda just want to hang out with her, too, and I really need to do my project, because I know I wont if someone isnt there making me, and Darbys going over to Shelbys this weekend so I wont have anyone to hang out with. And Darby kinda acts like shes my mom and makes me do my homework and makes me food and makes me wear a jacket if its cold outside and all that good stuff. SoI dunno. OH HEY DARBY-DARBS DONE PEEING. SWEET. She finished eating her pizza rolls and I tried looking up info about Percocet becausehead start or something like that. I just found pictures, and a lot of things that didnt help me. Whenever I search Percocet, OxyContin would come up. Oh well. Lacie just pisses me off so much. Darby went on, checking her Facebook. The other day she came up to me and hugged me. I was about to shank a hoeor is it shank a bitch? I dunno. I said, and then looked up, immediately thinking of something to say that would make her laugh hysterically. Im not familiar with street terms. And she did laugh hysterically. Ha. RIGHT.

Thanks, bro. Mmhmm. But seriously. She just irritates me. I wanna beat her with my crow-bar. For some reason, I suddenly thought of this movie, that I can remember the name of and I said, 1-800-Choke-Dat-Hoe. Again, she laughed loudly. 1-800-Choke-Dat-Hoe. Thats funny. Whats that from or did you just make it up? I tried to remember ityup. Nothing. I honestly cant remember its from a movie. I suddenly felt something vibrate like four times. Oh. Phone. I checked and saw a message from mama. Is Darby here? Well, no shit. When isnt she here? And shes right in her room, down the hall. Weve been home for an hour. How does she not know if Darbys here, or not? Is she suddenly deaf or something? Darbys loud as fuck. I sent back: Duuhhhhhh. And guess what. She got pissed. And she didnt text her madness to me, she screamed it. DONT BE GETTING A FUCKING ADITUDE WITH ME. I DIDNT HEAR YOU GUYS. like calm your tits, crazy. God damn. But then she also yelled, DOES SHE NEED CLOTHES? Because shes obviously gonna stay the night again. I yelled back, YEAH wait. You do, right? Derrrrr. Can you text my Dad and ask? Apparently, hes okay with it now. I wouldnt be, but okay. Surrreeee. and I did. Hey, sweetie, my MOM said, walking into the living room. (Shes so fake, I told you.) Dans gonna come over today and help you move your stuff upstairs. Dans a friend of hers. Oh yeah. Uhm. We have a three story house well, if you count the attic as another floor. Its HUGE. But poor looking at the same time. Probably because we put poor looking furniture in there and have like ten dogs, so the yard is fucked. Anyway, Tilly, my Mom and Dad, and my room is on the first floor, and then theres the second floor. Theres four rooms up there plus a

bathroom, yet no one uses it. And Colton sleeps in the attic, which is also huge, by the way, and he gets it all to himself. But my mom told me I could move my room up to the second floor, pick a room, and have that whole floor to myself. Pretty psyched. And told me this a week ago and I have yet to move any of my shit up there. Sweeeeeeeet. Yup. She smiled at Darby. The only reason shes nice right now is because Darbys here. Do you need stuff? I can drive you to your house; I have to get hooks for stockings, anyway. Yeah, thatd be nice did my Dad ever text back? I checked my phone. Nope. Oh, and reason why Darby has to have me text her Dad is because her phones broken. I dont know how or why, but she broke it. Oh well. And Dan gave me a card to Pantera, you guys wanna get something to eat? Its actually Panera, but Mother and I call it Pantera. You know. The band. YUM. Darby said, liking the idea, obviously. YES. Have you had their Mango Smoothie? Its awesome. Well, you can get that - lets go. Its supposed to get really cold later and I aint driving around when it gets dark and cold out. No thanks. Ah. Theres some of the real her. She even started to sound like a stingy bitch. We got ourselves up and drove the five minutes to Darbys house. But of course, when we got there, the door was locked, and neither her brother nor dad were home. But her dog, Chewy, was. Unfortunately, they never taught him how to unlock and open the front door or else wed never be locked out of her house again. So we walked back to the car. Not there? mother asked as soon as we reached the car. Obviously. I muttered, climbing in the front seat, shutting the door. Darby spoke up over me so I dont think Mommy Dearest heard. Nope. she said, shutting the door. Hey, Nate. Did he reply yet? Nope.

Alrighty, well. Kirsten looked herself in the mirror and fixed her lipstick. She looked at us, LIKE SHE WAS CONFUSED. God I hate you. Please. Go die. Youre so fake. I just cant. Pantera? Darby nodded about fifty times while I just sat there. Just as Mom was about to hit the gas, Darby suddenly shouted, OH WAIT! We looked back at her, all like what. My I have a spare key. In the mailbox. Go, go. mother urged her. Im hungry. Darby hopped out the car and ran up onto her porch. She got on her tippy-toes, looking into the mailbox, and grabbed what Im guessing was the key, and went for the door, unlocked it, cheered, and ran inside. You know, I heard to my left. If you dont get your grade up in math, youre grounded that means no phone, TV, internet, anything. Not even Darby. I snorted at the not even Darby part. Bitch, Id like to see you try to keep me away from her. Thats my best friend, alright? I see her every day, and I will keep doing that if I please. Keep Nate from doing what he wants? Cool story, bro. Youre funny. You should be a comedian. Wasnt it her who said that? Practice what you preach, eh? Yeah, okay. Nate, Im serious. she said, fixing her lipstick some more. Go ask your teacher if you dont understand something its been a while since Ive done that stuff. I cant always help you. You cant always help me? Did you really just say that? You never help me. Well, thats because you never ask. Well, you never offer Its justI dont know how to combine like terms. Thats one of the few thousand things I dont understand in math. I know it sounds easy, but Im like an idiot when it comes to the easy stuff. I never know if one of them either has a negative sign with it or the subtraction sign to the left of it; do I still add them together like its a negative sign or what? Then ask. I do, and then forget what she told me, so I just stopped asking. I dont want to. Why not? she asked, getting frustrated.

I dont know. I *le sigh* I just feelstupid asking for help. And she wont let us use calculators, so I cant check if Im right or not and no, I will not do that stupid plug it back in shit. She doesnt give us time to do that. And thats why youre failing. Make time. IM NOT FAILING! I finally yelled at her. I have a B+. Thats not failing! I dont even feel sorry for you. she went on. You obviously dont care about your grade that much, or else you would do anything you can to have an A. You should have an A, but you dont. And if you still have a B by the end of the semester, youre grounded. I dont care if its your only B. OHMYGODDDDDDDDDDDDDD. Do you ever get so mad that you actually start crying? I do. RIGHT NOW. Its not totally noticeable, though. I just flipped her off and looked out the window. And thats another reason no one likes you. When they try to help you, you dont accept it. Cool. I knew she was gonna say more, but Darby rolled out of her house with clothing and the Iliad. (Library book thats two weeks overdue.) She yanked open the car door and hopped into the back seat and yelled, TO PANERA! Well, first we have to go to CVS. Oh look whos all nice again. But then, definitely. OHMYGOD SHUT THE FUCK UP. SHES SO ANNOYING. GAAAAHHH. CVS was boring. My mom bought Darby a chocolate bar and chapstick, and decided to be nice and get me a pack of gum. THANKS. I swear. She mustve just wanted daughters. Shes all nice to Darby and Tilly. But to her SONS, shes a bitch. I was just thinking about that. But anyway, we couldnt find the hooks, so we just went to Panera. That was fucking expensive. I got grilled cheese and it sucked ass. The bread was weird as fuck and they put five slices of cheese on the damn thing, and then didnt completely cook it, so it was just crap load of cheese on some burnt ass bread. But I got mac and cheese, too, which was actually good.

Darby got this BLT/sub thing. I dunno. Mother got a sandwich and broccoli and cheese soup. Yeah. It cost too damn much. $27.05. But we also got drinks, so And I swear to fucking God, I saw Mitchel Davis grampa!!!!1! IM NOT KIDDING. (Author: I SWEAR. I went to Panera with my Mom and my BFF, and I SWEAR TO EFFING GOD. HE WAS SITTING ONE TABLE AWAY. I ALMOST CRAPPED MYSELF. IT LOOKED JUST LIKE HIM.) But yeah. Oh and there was this hot waiter there. Waiter. Dude. A guy. Darby thought he was hot. Not gonna lie, I also thought he was iigghht. And his tattoos just made him more UNF, yknow. But there was also this chick there, a little blonde thing so you knew she was probably a hoe (JKJK.) And she sat a table away from us with her mom, maybe. idk. And she kept looking at me. It made me feel really insecure, because I was eating like I was a starving child in Africa. (you know the ones everyone talks about) Anyway, this is a really long paragraph. There we go. Better. I just tried not to look at her or acknowledge her existence. BUT GET THIS. When they were just about to leave, I dont know why, but I looked over in their direction and noticed she was writing something on a napkin. Probably gonna give her number to that waiter. Hes hot, okay. But what the fuck is this. She got up, but instead of following her mother to the door, she took the long way pass our table. I immediately looked away, and then down at my mac and cheese. What the hell do you think youre doing, girly? A little folded up piece of napkin was pushed next to my plate, but I didnt look up. I waited a few seconds and then looked up to see if Mom or Darb had seen that. Nope. Darby had said something about her wanted to try ecstasy and my Mom was getting all Well did you know even if you just try it once you can get flashbacks of when you were on the drug, even after three years later, and it can be a painful flashback and drive you insane especially if you get them randomly for the rest of your life and you might commit suicide just to make it all stop? on her. I grabbed the napkin and looked around for that chick. She was walking out the door now, and of course, she decided to turn around and look at me the exact second I spotted her. I looked back down at it. I swear if its actually her numberIm not calling her, either way.

I slowly unfolded it, and whatta ya know. *reads off the number* All ten digits. I dont know why she gave the zip, but okay. Well just assume its her real number. If it is, shell be getting some crazy prank calls. Whats that? Darbigal asked, looking down at my hands. I instantly crumbled it up and said, Panera has WiFi. And that got her talking again. OH MY SERIOUSLY? We shoulda brought the laptops. .yeah. You know how many times this has happened before? A LOT. Why would you give me your number? Especially if you dont know me, and just saw me at some place? I mean, come on. Im just gonna give this to anyone who asks for my number. Sorry, but thats what you get for being stupid. My Mom looked down at her phone as it vibrated. Nate. Its unnatural how much you annoy me. Hurry up. Dans on his way over now. Im done. Ive been done for thirty minutes. Well, why didnt you say anything? We couldve been out of here a long time ago! Fuck you. You couldnt have just looked over and saw my food was gone? Or asked me? I shrugged. My bad. She started shoving all her shit back into her bag. Whatever. Lets go. God. Finals are in two weeks. Im probably going to fail a majority of them. Most likely the Math. I bet you Ill get a bad grade, and bring my B to a C, and then Ill be fucked. That was just a random thought. When we pulled up in front of our house, Dan was already there with his annoying laugh. And we were stuck with that stupid laugh until seven. Thats when Darby and I just arranged my stuff around in my new room while Dan and mom watched TV in the living room. I dont have all my stuff in here, by the way. Just my bed, a dresser, some of my clothes, my TV, aaanndddthats kinda it. There wouldve been more in here, but Dan started bitching about his back, so we decided to just stop there and move the rest in the next time he came over.

Dude, this is sweet. said Darby, looking out the door, down the hall. The whole floor to yourself IIm a lil jealous, I will admit. Has my dad texted back yet? Nope. Wanna call him? I unhooked my phone from the charger and was already handing it to her, because if she didnt ask her dad to stay and she stayed anyway, hed get mad at me and I want him to like me. Yea, I know. I said I like being the kid parents hate, but Darbys are an exception. I mean, Im gonna marry her; I want her parents to like me. ;) She sat down on my bed and reached for it. Uh, yeah, sure. She searched for the contact and hit call, bringing the phone up to her ear, and waited. After a couple seconds, she said, Dad? Hi...Im at Nates duhWell, can I stay the night again? You know how they have a, like, three story house? And no one uses the second floor? But his mom like told him he could move his room up here, and nowhe does. And we just moved all his stuff up here, and I dont wanna make him sleep up here alone, so- There was a pause and then she rolled her eyes. Yes, alone omg. Im sorry, but this piece of hair is bugging me. I made a gesture to her, telling her to fix it. She looked confused at first, but ran her hand through her hair. Okay, better. But its all in her face now. Woah, man, chill out. I was just saying She widened her eyes in a frustrated way. I made that gesture at her again. She did it, and thankfully fixed it. Nates like a brother to me, okay? Just calm down She rolled her eyes again and put her head on my shoulder. I know. Can I have my phone back now? Just knowing I cant use it makes me want to use it. So Im like dying during school. UGH. Its fucked up again. Taking matters into my own hands, I reached over and moved that stupid, annoying piece of hair behind her ear. She looked up and gave me a thumbs up as if to say Thanks, bro and then sighed at her dad. Well, can I?...please?..........no? She lifted her head up, and pouted. WHY NOT?... Good lord. That man bugs me. Just let her stayII dont wanna sleep up here alone. She suddenly hung up and gave me back my phone. He said no. She dropped her head back down. Can you walk me home or ask Dan to drive me?

Id probably be able to walk you home. I said, knowing Id end up having to anyway. Its really dark out. You wanna go now? She scrunched up her nose, which usually means shes dissatisfied with something. Yeah, I guess. Why does my dad have to be so stupid? I dunno, man. I dunno. Okay, it is hella cold out here, and I shouldve wore a thicker hoodie like Darby said. Its also really dark out. Cant wait to walk back in this. And its a fifteen minute walk. Cool. We held hands the whole way there. (: Well, we always hold hands, even when its not cold even in the hallway at school. Well, apparently, I walk really fast, and shes really tiny, so Im kinda afraid that if I dont, and like let go, Ill lose her, and I dont want that. I love Darby. We also bad-mouthed her dad the whole time. I gave Darby a BIIIIIIIGGG hug, we exchanged I love yous (like always) and then I walked my carless ass home. Holy ass. Its freezing tits out here. I sped my walk up a bit. I eventually got home. It took forever, but I got there. I sat up in my room for about an hour or so, just listening to Blink and Scarlett OHara (the band) and OMG. Eddie Cano, the screamer, he looks JUST like Chris Cruea. I SWEAR TO GOD. Just an older version. Especially in the Lost in Existence video, when Eddies about to be bathing in milk. I swear. Just Like HIM. Ooh. Im feeling a movie right now. But what? I got up, and began searching through the box of movies that were sitting by the TV. Eh. Nothing great. This is my Disney movie bin aint feeling it now. I stood up, heading for the door. Gonna go check mah room. Right as I was about to exit, I swear to God, I saw something out of the corner of my eye, in the corner of my room. But when

I went to look again, nothing. Not what I thought I saw. But I swearthere was something there oh fuck shit. My poster just fell. Of Paramore. Hayleys on the floor. Poor sexy Hayley.): My ass was out that door and I ran to my old room. I took my time searching for the movie I wanted. Eww. Nothing good here, either. Maybe theres something in Tillys room. She takes all the good movies. I suddenly wanted Pringles. Kitchen, here I come. Mother and Dan were sitting awfully close on that couchoh well. Not my prob. Wheres dad? Its like 9:00pm, hes usually home by now oh well. Got my Pringles now, btw. I just ignored their weirdness, and walked to Tillys room. I walked down the hall, and right as I was about to pass the bathroom, the door opened and I was blinded by a bright light. I screamed in agony, and the light immediately shut off. Nate! my mother screamed from the couch. Are you okay, honey?! Hands still covering my eyes, I said, YEAH. Oh, gosh! ASHLEY>:| Im so sorry, Nate! Are you okay? I rubbed my eyes, continuing my walk to Tillys room. ASHLEY. Why are you here? Not trying to sound mean or anything, but Oh, uhm. Why are you following me? Well, Colton, obviously. Butuhm...I promise. This is the last time, butcan I? Tilly was already sleeping, so I tried not to be too loud when I said, No, Ashley. I crouched down, going through Tillys box of movies. Breakfast Club, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Juno, Donnie Darko, Grease 1 and 2, Aristocats. Yup. Told you. All the good movies. I was tempted to just take her box.

Ashley got down next to me and grabbed my hand, but I jerked it away. I need that hand for movie-grabbin. Nate, please! I shushed her, because she was being loud as fuck. She lowered her voice. Please? No. Nate, please. I dont care if it hurts him. I dont love him. He obviously doesnt love me, so why should I love him? I grabbed Tillys box, and stood up. Then why are you still dating him? I turned for the door. She hopped in front of me. She looked down at the ground and then back up at me. Itsbecauseits the only way I get to see you. Oh shut up. Bull. No, honest, Nate. I dont see you at school, or anywhere else, for that matter. This is the only place. And I cant break up with him and still come over hell know somethins up. Well, I cant keep doing this to him. I pushed passed her, walking down the hall and through the living room. Dan was gone, but my mom was in the kitchen. She turned her head to us, and gave me a look. I just shrugged. Why do you suddenly care about his feelings? Ashley asked, a little curious and mad, following me up the stairs. About three steps up, I stopped, turning around. She actually ran into me. Because! I said. Why do you suddenly not? He doesnt care about mine! Why dont you care about my feelings? Why dont you care about mine? I asked, whipping around, going back to stair-climbing. She grabbed my hand, forcing me to turn back around. My moms face. I do! For a split second, I forgot my mom was there, and I said, Well, you sure dont show it. If you did, youd understand why I DONT WANT TO FUCK YOU ANYMORE. She actually looked hurt by that. Well, its true, tho. Why not? I suddenly thought of Colton. Not like I havent been for this whole conversation, but whats he doing right now? He had tove heard the I DONT WANT TO FUCK YOU ANYMORE, right? And his girlfriend has been in

the bathroom for how long now? Unless hes sleeping now. Butthis early? What if she told him she was leaving, like she apparently always does? Im sure he thinks Im talking to Darby. Probably thinks shes still here. I knew my mom was gonna wanna talk later. She gave me the look that told me so. Great. Wheres Colton? I asked, looking up the stairs, going up a few more. My mom just wouldnt stop looking at me. Ashley went up a few, too. I dont even think she knows my moms right there. Upstairs? With Maddie, I think. Of course. Thats probably why she wants to sleep in my room with me. Shes probably the odd third-wheel. Or if Jordans there, too, fourth-wheel. I got the urge to look down the hall, towards my new room. .I just saw something. AGAIN. By my door. Like a shadow. I dont want to go in there. NoIts probably nothingit probably is something. It has to be. An evil spirit. I swear. Noooo. I have to stay positive. This is going to be my new room; I have to sleep in there. Alone. Darby cant stay over all the time, and Ashleyaint doin that shit with her anymore. Cant be scared of my own room. Its probably one of the dogs. We have twenty of them, remember? ButGood lord. I dont want to sleep in there alone. Fine. I reluctantly turned to Ashley. One more night. But thats it. God. I can still see my mom. Im gonna get a HUGE lecture on this later. Seriously? Yes, but just one more time. And dont think its because I want you there. My room freaks me out. Her smile fell for a second but then she got it back and hugged me, which Im sure was uncomfortable for her since I had this big box of movies between us. Okay! I then heard my mom. Uh, Nate. Come here for a second, please.

I told Ashley to wait for me upstairs, and she said okay and did so. I followed mi mama to the living room. She was watching How I Met Your Mother. That chick from House was in this episode, but her hairs blonde now. Okay, I know what this is about, but She had a bowl of oatmeal in her hands. She sat down on the couch, and patted the spot next to her. Sit. I sadly did. She didnt say anything for a long time, or at least it felt like forever. Okay, what if there was a demon in my room, and I just left Ashley up there to die? Are you and Ashleyhaving sex? Why why why why why why why why. God how awkward. Do I have to answer that? She just sighed. I dont blame her. Im a disgrace. She has nothing to be proud of. Im horrible son. Shes right. Ohmygod. Im a cheater-helper, you know? Ashleys cheating on ColtonWITH ME. oh shiiiiiiiitt. I never thought of it like that. But its true. I just oh god. Colton, Im so sorry. Nate, she said, and sighed again. I know! I groaned into my hands. And are you guys gonnado it again? Tonight? Ugh. No. I dont know. Maybe. No. I dont know. Do I have to answer this? How long? I dont even know. AVOID. AVOID THE CONTACT OF THE EYES. A while? Since, likethe beginning of November, I think. God, Coltons gonna hate me. Yeah, he is. I glared at her. Sorry. But he is. Coltons gonna be pissed. Im a cheater-helper. Im, Ima mistress. But the dude version. ah craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap.

I feel like shit. I whined, dropping my head in my hands, and then latched onto her. Mommy, make the feeling go away! Oh, sweetie! Wow. Great bonding time, eh? She was all sad and she was crying, and, and I didnt know what to do. And she wouldnt stop and I just wanted to make her feel better but she suggested it! Actually, a hobo did, too. Woah. She suggested it? That youdo it? YEAH. The hoe. Woah. Right? Gaaahhhhhhhhhhhh. Poo pooo pooooooooooooop. Thats how I feel. Guh, sex sounds pleasant right now NO. WHATS WRONG WITH YOU. STOP IT. BUT NO. Tell her to go home, she said. Unless you want to keep hurting Colton, then go right ahead. I dont want to hurt him. Why would I want to do that? Dont try to guilt me. I already feel as bad as I possibly could. No one should feel this way. It sucks. Ashley, you are not worth this. Colton could kill me. Seriously. I know it might seem like Colton doesnt care about her, and hes just using her, but when hes not bragging about how he shagged her, its Nate, shes so beautiful, and funny. and Shes my favorite. And he told me that if he could just have her, he would, but he doesnt want to hurt Jordan or Maddies feelings. ButI dont want to die. Or, or if I do, let me have sex first. Please. Thatd be nice. Geez. Alright. I stood up. Well, dont do that. You know I feel bad already. I know, I know. I was joking. Youre not very funny. Nooooo. NATE. Dont go picking a fight. JKHasnd;anjl too late. She sighed and said, See. I shouldnt even feel sorry for you. This is your fault. You couldve made her a cake, or bought her something shiny. Anything. But you chose to fuck her. Oh good Lord. This is so true. I suck. But Im not gonna let her know that. Is it weird that I think T. Mills is sexy as fuck? My thoughts are weird, arent they?

I WANTED TO HAVE SEX AND SHE WAS THERE, NOT SAYING NO, so yeah, Im gonna do her. Im a guy. Im not going to reject that. Youve seen her. Very attractive, I know. But - at least, tell me, didya use protection? O_O PLEASE TELL ME YOU DID, WE DONT WANT A LITLE NATE RUNNING AROUND ANY TIME SOON. I just looked at her and said, Oops. Her eyes went wide. NATE. You better be joking. Nate, tell me youre joking. I wasnt. (: Well, I kinda was, but mostly not. I think we used a condom twice out of the five times. OOPS. I smiled and walked upstairs. And she said some more stuff but it was blocked out by me plugging my ears, going, FA LA LA LA LA FU-FUUH-UCK YOU. Gaahhhhh. I didnt know whether I wanted to run back to my room, because Ashleys in there and possibly a ghost. Butwhat if this hallway isnt that safe, either, and theres the Horrifying Houseguest behind me, or some shit? Thatd be scary. So I ran my ass back to my room. Ashley was sitting on my bed, staring down at her phone. Not texting, but playing a game. What is that, Tap-Tap? Its Tapulous. Oh, man. She looks good. NO. yes? NAHHH. Dont think that. But its true? aksufgakjdcbdha. Tonights gonna suck balls. But we didnt bang, by the way. Well, not yet. Its only been a minute, so Do youwanna watch a movie or something? I asked, not really knowing what else we were going to do. Yeah, sure. She sat her phone down next to her, pulling her knees to her chest. And that was all she said. any ideas on what? Ohuhmwhat do you have? Breakfast Club, Easy A, FlippedIts Kind Of A Funny StoryDue Date, Sixteen CandlesTransformers all of them...I dont know. Pick something. Okay, okay. She made a face that led me to believe she was thinking. UhmBreakfast Club? She waited for me to either approve or disapprove.

I showed her I approved by taking it out of its case and clicking the on button of the DVD/VCR player. I turned on my TV, and grabbed the remote, getting up, going over to my door. I shut it, and then turned off my light, walking over to my bed. Scoot over. Damn, stingy. But she did so, and I sat in my spot. You know, she said, a couple seconds later. What?6 <-- that six isnt supposed to be there. Just throwing this out there, but I think the reason youre so ARRGG right now, because you, my friend, need sex. No. You. You are the reason Im so ARRGG right now, you slut. You know, I said, mimicking her. I think youre right but Im NOT gonna get it from you. You and I over, alright? She frowned and then smiled. No. No? I asked. Youre just gonna say Nolike that? I dont have a choice? Is that right? She nodded AND THATS HOW WE ALMOST ENDED UP BANGING. Almost becausewellI like Breakfast Club, and I wanted to watch it. So I shoved her off, and ohmygod her face was the best. Is it okaythat Im okay that we didnt bang that night? Because we didnt. She fell asleep halfway through Breakfast club, and Im not into doing people while their sleeping. But omfg. I need Maggie this weekend. BAD. kihncalkvn its only like Tuesday. jfc I cant. I swear to God, if Maggie cancels on me or something, Ill crash some party and bang some chick there. Hopefully a clean one. But if its nothing but hoes, Ill get Darby drunk off her ass and do her. Anything. Oh wait, crap. Darbys going to Shelbys this weekend. I forgot. DAAAMMNNN IIITTTTTT. Then IIllif I have toI guessif Ashleys there, thenokay. Maybe we should just do it now? I will wake that bitch up. But she looks soasleep. Andwhat time is it? Oh, its only like 10:00pm. Okay, Nate. Go to sleep. Youre usually asleep by now. GO TO BED. But SEEEEEEXXXXXXXXXX. NOOOOOO.

Good lord. I wonder how horny Id actually be if I didnt masturbate. Ah man. Im hungry. Pussy sounds delightful right now. NO NATE STAY STRONG. FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. --Okay, Im sorry, but Darby and I are having the best time right now. Okay, this guy gave Darby his number, and were texting him right now on my phone, and weve been laughing so much. Ask him if hes Asian. HAHAHAHAHA. Or would that be disrespectful? Well, we dont know what he is. Weve seen him around school, but idk. Cant tell. He dresses like a white boy, but his face says something completely different. Darby just laughed some more. NO. Umm so I was just curiouswhat grade are you in? Well, I am. Watch him be a senior. Youre not talking to him if he is. She sat my phone down next to her on my bed. Hes not a senior. He cant be. He doesnt look that old. Lauren said he was a sophomore. She said hes weird. Weird how? Oh, uhm. Well she said that he seems all sweet at first, but then like he uses you. And then he gets all clingy, and, uhmthreatens suicide. I almost choked on my spit. SUICIDE? Well, I dunno. That mightve been what she said. You dont kno- And then we started laughing. I dont know why, but we did until my phone buzzed. We both looked at it and I jumped for it. I started laughing. I TOLD YOU! HES A SENIOR??? YUP. And then we laughed about that. I dont know whats wrong with us. Theres no way. Hes lying. She grabbed the phone from me. Seriously? Like I am dead serious right now. He cant be .he is. Oh my goddddddd.

Yup, I reached for the phone. Guess who youre not talking to. No, Nate! She pulled away, and then texted something. I told him Im only a freshman. Like hes gonna care and youre a sophomore, genius. .DANG IT.I just fixed it..he said thats not bad, smiley face.Nate, what do I say to that? Nothing. I said, reaching for the phone again, but she pulled away. Let me ask how old he is. He looks seventeen. No, hes a grown man and youre a little girl. Tell him you cant talk to him anymore. Its your bed time. Naaattee! she laughed. Please? If hes eighteen or something, Ill tell him pedos arent my thing. I laughed. Fiiiinnneee. We waited until *buuuuuzzzzz* Hes seventeen HA I TOLD YOU. Oh well I guess thats not that bad. Should I delete my lesbian? Shes on Facebook, deleting a shit ton of friends, because she doesnt talk to them, or something. I dont know. And her lesbian is actually a lesbian. She likes all of Darbys statuses and Darby thinks she thinks shes a les, too, soWell, I made Darbys status about a week ago, saying Im gay, and she liked it. I dunno. Maybe you should keep her and then when she realizes shes one of the ten left shell be like OMG SHE DOES LOVE ME, and then I jump in all like BACK OFF MY BITCH, BITCH. Darby smiled. Okay. Even though she like broke my heart today. Apparently Cortie (thats her name) made a status all like I wish she would text me): and then some shank commented Sorry, mlove, Ill text you now<3 and yeah. Darby looked down at my phone as it vibrated. His birthdays Valentines Day. Cool? Yeah, I dont know. He just told me. I think hes just trying to impress you because hes got a tiny dick.

She laughed really loud. Hes making up for what he lacks in bed. And then I laughed, and we laughed about that. Oh my God. I said, wiping my tears. We are great. RIGHT! Im telling you, we should just date. But is it just me or do you feel really high right now? I laughed. Right, weve been laughing so much today and half the shit aint even funny. She continued to laugh. I just told him my birthday. Sweet - Damn this kid texts back fast. Describe yourself to me. Tell me about your heart.Whats that supposed to mean? It means hes got a tiny dick. She laughed again. Nate, stop. I just said What do you want to know? holy crap. Speedy texter here. Uhm How are you, what makes you the person you are. Uhmwouldnt it be easier if we just played Twenty Questions? Right. He said I should start. What should I ask oh, Do you play any sports? We waited. He doesnt play any sports. But he sings and plays the guitarand is in all AP classes. Dang it. Hes smartCool, smarty pantsI run track. See. I said. Hes trying to impress you most likely because of his tiny dick. Dont fall for it. She laughed of course. Alright. Awesome. What kind of music do you lie?he meant likeI think. I snorted. Obviously not that smart. Darby laughed. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. He aint in Advance English, apparently. And then I laughed. And she told him what music she liked. And then he told her he has met Danny and Ben from Asking Alexandria, and Chris (not sure who Chris was), and Oliver Sykes. -__- This guy sucks. But then he asked her what she looks for in a guy.

Uhsomeone funny, smart, can make me laugh and smile, someone who is just sweet. Hes gonna think Im lame Damn, speedy. Its not lame. Im different than most guys or half my friens he meant friends- This guys an idiot. I value the hear he meant heart. she continued, ignoring me. All AP classes, my ass. This kids a faggot. Shhhhhh. Theyre just typos. Not like he fucked the whole word up. He wants to know what physically attracts me to a guyuhmSmiles. Im really picky about teeth. Yeah, she is. What about you? SHIT. I meant about girls. *guy voice* Im not into guys lol Well, actually hes not as funny as us, so he probably wont say something that great. Hes not that creativeHes attracted to eyes. On males. We both laughed. Well, my eyes are ugly. No, theyre not. Yeah-huh, theyre all small and poopy, and squinty. I laughed. Great description. Tell him that. She flipped me off. I havent seen them. Well they are, trust me. Watch him come up to you tomorrow Oh hey - oh those are ugly, bye. Oh my God. I would cry and run to you. I dont know why Im so picky when it comes to smiles mines not even that great. Your smiles beautiful. Nooooo, its not. My teeth. Theyre like dinosaurs. Dinosaurs are cool. But you wouldnt want their teeth. Theyre ovaly. I like squares. I like yours. Your whole smiles just great. Thanks. Mmhmm. You remember Dustin? Yup.

Hes occupation was slapping hoes and Destinys was being dopeGills was Your Butthole. And this dude I just deleted works at the pentagon. Im so glad Im deleting these people. Where do people come up with this stuff? Right uh oh. what? He says he wants to see them in person. He wants to walk around tomorrow Well, Im not walking with you guys. Thatd be weird. Wouldnt it? Hes trying to get it in and Im gonna be the cock block. WellI actually like that idea. But Im just gonna let her beg for a little bit. Nate! she whined. Pleaaaasseeee??? Noooo. Ill be the third wheel. Ill just walk with Emmy. She dropped my phone and moved the lap top off her lap. She jumped into my lap, and then started begging me. And it got annoying real fast. FINE. She took that as this: You dont want to walk with Emmmmmmmyyy. You want to walk with meeeeeee. Well, yeah, I said like she was dumb. Walk arounds our time. Right and hes getting in the way. I say you kill him. I like how you just pass that off on me. She smiled, climbing off me. I told him okay. Ask him if hes a virgin hes probably not. OhmyGod. Darby, dont talk to him. Ill just ask How far have you gone? I dont wanna be talking to some dirty boy. Oh Ive gone to state WITH A GIRL! Or boy. He hasnt corrected himself yet. I laughed and said, I doubt hes gonna tell you well, he might. Yeah, some guys are proud of it. She looked down at the phone and then her eyes widened. OH ITS YOUR MOM. I saw floss and was like? What is this kid into!? Wow, it would be 69

messages when I ask that question. I need to shower, but I want to know. Im about to make you sit in the bathroom with me. Like always. Always. She always makes me sit in the bathroom with her while she showers. Or outside the bathroom. Whatd my Mom say? Oh, brush your teeth. She would. She smiled and then the phone vibrated again and then she made this face: -____So I asked, What? He said, Where to? I knew hed say that. Imao, I meant with a girl. We sat there, surfing the web on our laptops. The second my phone buzzed, I jumped for it. Well, if he said something I didnt like, she was done talking to him. I read aloud: lol ohhhhh kissing and feel ups. Thats all. You fucking liar. I sent back: Haha liar. Darby just went, AWWWWWWW! Hes a virgin? Thats so cute! I tossed her the phone. She looked down and read my response. I hate you. Youre done. she said, shaking her head. The phone buzzed and right as she went to grab it, it buzzed again. And then again. Holy shit. Uhm, I have had the opportunity to do a lot of things with a lot of different girls but I dont because I dont want to do things with a random girl Im not going to be with. I want to be with a girl and then do stuff. Its just I havent been with a girl because I havent found the right girl to be with. Dont get me wrong there are a lot of good looking sweet girls but they dont match what Im looking for It buzzed again. I want to though. I just dont know why I dont. I think its because I care. I dont know. Its hard to explain.AWWWWWW! She started texting him something. Okay, I said Awww thats really sweet. I just thought a guy like you wouldve already done stuff, but I think its cute youre waiting. holy cow. It buzzed again. I dont think he was done explaining himself. Her eyes suddenly widened. What? UhmWell do stuff after spending time with youOh, WILLI think. It buzzed again. Well, if I was with someone then I would do stuff. I would never force it or push it on you THERE WE GO AGAIN. You! Buddy, you aint doing shit with me. omg I love you Darby. She continued reading it after it buzzed two more times. Good lord. Okay, I want her to want it too. Most girls, since I know a lot What? with my heart too.This boy dont make sense.

Dont know what they want, have different views, dont match standards, etc. She paused and then widened her eyes again. Uhm, Id love to make a girl happy with my body. I just want to be able to make her happy. Okay.well, Im gonna go take a shower. Are you even going to reply to this fag? She smiled. Eh, okay. And she did, and then she threw it back down on the bed, holding her hand out. Of course I took it. Shower with me? she asked. Always. And off we walked to the bathroom. I sat outside, waiting for her to completely undress and hop in the shower, and then tell me it was alright for me to come in. Eventually I got that, and I went in and sat on the ground, in front of the sink. So I think my room is haunted. Yeah? she said. Kinda think that, too. Awesome. Like I swear, at night, always around midnight, when I stay here, of course, I swear I always hear shit. Freaky, bro. Thanks, dude. Totally needed that. She just laughed. Sorry. I was just backing myself up, alright? Kay. Just blame it on your dogs. It could just be them. Or Colton being a dick. Truuuuueeee. Anyway, I said, not wanted to get too freaked out about my room. I had a really odd dream last night. Was it a naughty dream? she asked. Was I in it? Sorry, I laughed. Not this one, babe. Boo. Well, tell me anyway. I guess Ill hear this boring dream. Okay, so I was at this really fancy restaurant with my Granma, and, like, I had to pee, so I, like, hopped into this pick-up truck and pissed in the drivers seat. Darby laughed at that. I continued, Yeah. And then when I was done, I went right back inside, and, mustve drank a lot, because I had to pee again. So I went and peed in the drivers seat again. But then I realized I was right next to the front door, so I moved the truck. And these people were just like - ? so I mooned em. Darby laughed again, really hard this time, and told me to go on.

I told my mom about it, and of course she got all insight-y on me. She said, You were with Granma, that means that everythings okay; shes okay. Shes in a better place now, or else she wouldnt have been able to be in your dream. I was like COOL! Kay, whatever. And she was like, And you peed in the truck instead of a toilet because you had to go. You proved that you can you do anything if theres a will, theres a way. Wow. Yeah. And I said, Okay, thats cool. But why did I moon those people? Like, whats up with that? And she said, well, give me a minute.Oh, okay. You did that to show that you are in control of yourself. You dont care what others think. You do what you want when you want. And I was like, Uhmyeah. I dont think so. But okay! Darby laughed some more. Youre moms weird. I know. But I did have some enchiladas before bed, so that might be why I had that dream. Yeah, enchiladas will do that to ya. Anyway, Darby soon finished and I went back to my room, waiting for her to re-dress. She soon came back, and we watched Family Guy until 9:30 and then went to bed. Told you. We go to bed early. But, technically, it would be 10:30, if it wasnt for the time change, so. But Darby always falls asleep before me. Always. But I asked my mom to buy me a Bob Marley (its a natural mood relaxer and its like an energy drink, but it makes you really sleepy. You have to be at least eighteen to buy it.) Its the berry kind, and it is wonderful. After one sip my ass is usually out. But I chugged like half of it to make sure I definitely went to bed. Of course I gave Darby some, too, because, apparently, she wakes up in the middle of the night and gets freaked out too. But I made her leave some so that way, if I did end up waking up in the middle of the night, Id have some to drink and just go right back to bed. Is it weird that I already have like ten ideas on how to kill myself? Or is it just weirder that I randomly asked that? Oh, and I hate the word random. I hate when people describe themselves as random. Its annoying. Anyway, back to the suicide. Well, my mom always tells me to just go kill myself, so I always came up with new ideas. Pretty effective ones, I hope. Like, I was just thinking this, I could take a bunch of pills and drink a Bob Marley, and some beer or something, because I guess youre not supposed to mix those things.

Or, or, uhm, I always thought about hanging a noose up really high off the ground, and then hanging myself. Or hanging it over a train tunnel, and then tying it around my neck and jumping off it right in front of a train. Or cutting really deep all over my body, and then taking raw meat thats been left out in the sun for a few days and then rubbing it over the cuts, because then it would get infected and I could die from blood poisoning. . . . I need professional help, dont I? And Im probably giving some ideas to some suicidal people Oops. Im getting really tired. Uh, youre all beautiful. Dont do it. You may think no one loves you, but thats not true blah blah blah. I dunno. l8er g8er. Im not really one to help with happiness. I mean, have you met me? str8 against h8. yeah.

-- Chapter nine

Okay, so Maggies over right now, and were not even working on our projects. No, were talking in the living room; I dont trust her in my room - about this jumper she saw Darby wearing a couple days ago. It said: Careful or youll end up in my novel and Maggie was just like, When I write, I name my characters after people I hate and then kill them off brutally. I laughed at that and said, But then you see them the next day, living, and its just like, Aw man, youre still alive? How inconvenient. Maggie laughed and went, Well, damn! Note to self: plane crash, not as effective as so previously thought. And then we laughed. Maybe they should fly Delta. I suggested. I hear they cause 80% of most plane crashes. seriously?

No. Oh my God. Why would you believe me? Oh, hahahahahaha. I was about to say my grampa flies that. I was about to be like she whipped out her imaginary phone Hey, gramps, guess what airline youre not using anymore. And that made me think of my Grampa, and okay, so we were talking, him, me, and my mom, about birthdays, and he was marking them in his calendar. And he thought I was born in 1996, but I wasnt. Im 1995. So I told him, No, thats the year Tupac died. And he just looked at me, confused, and said, Whats a Tupac? And it was hilarious. My mom even laughed. And so did Maggie when I told her. And that story reminded her of this kid Chance, in her gym. Like, I swear, she said, Kop (gym teacher) hates him. Like, yesterday, everyone was talking, really loud, because class hadnt started yet because, you know. So everyones runnin their mouths, talking shit really loud. And then heres Chance She looked at me, seriously, and then, in a deep voice, she said, Hey, did you dye your hair? Kop HEY, YOU DONT NEED TO BE TALKING! GO TO THE OFFICE! I was just like o_O It was hilarious, though. I laughed letting her know I, too, thought it was funny. I knew there was a reason I liked her. She reminds me of Darby like a lot. Like she changes her voice a lot, you know, to go along with the story shes telling. Darby does that all the time. Shes the Darby I can date and fuck, and wouldnt mind not being friends if it ended. Like I could go on without her. Thats so mean. But true. I need the real Darby in my life. Anyway, we chilled at my house for an hour until 4:24, and then we walked to her house, and actually worked on our projects for a bit. Dont ask why we went to my house first, but we did. But no one else is here. Not even their dog. Wow. I know a lot of people with dogs. Well, I love dogs. And I know a lot of people with other animals they just have dogs too. Of course none of those people have cats the ones with dogs. Im fine with that. Cats are stuck-up bitches.

(Author: Okay, Im sorry, but Im watching Pineapple Express right now, on FX, so of course they cant have cussing. Anyway, when Dale calls Saul an asshole, they dont say asshole. So Dale calls him a casserole. So Sauls like, Pretty sure Im not a casserole. Im actually a nice guy. And when Dales on the phone with that blonde chick, Angela or whatever, and shes all like, I love you, too, Dale! I wanna marry you! and hes like, OhI made a mistake.Oh, furby. Furby. Not fuck.Furby. And even though this is my first time watching this, I know what the word is supposed to be. Oh and when they arent using furby, its just freak every single time. Anyway, I just thought it was hilarious, and I just wanted to share that. ) So, I said after being in her house for ten seconds. Where is everyone? She walked into the kitchen. Emmys still at school Science Club. Either that or whats-hisfaces house. Do you want a drink or anything? Propel? Uhh I was still just standing there in the living room by the front door, not comfortable enough to just sit without being told to. Yeah, sure. (Author: AND OH MY GOD. BLACK GUY JUST CALLED THEM MUTHA LUCKAS. AND SAID FREAK ABOUT FIFTY TIMES.) Okay. And my mom and dad are still at work. Emmy should be home soon, though if shes at school. She might stay atwhats his name? Brandon? Yeeeaahh, shes still dating him. Yeah, yeah. Right. She walked back into the living room with two black cherry Propel Zeros. She laughed handing me one. You can sit down, Nate. she said, pulling me over to the couch. .Okay. I cant believe youre still not comfortable enough here! Well, Ive only been here, like, three times. I defended myself, reading the label off the bottle. Im not even comfortable at Darbys house and Ive been over there a lot. I guess I just have respect for other peoples houses. I dont know. Thats what my mom says. (Author: LORD. BLACKIE JUST SAID SHUT THE BEANS UP! And Red just said, motherlover. This is gold, you froghead. (Yeah, I just skipped to the end.) Just freakin watch it on TV, so much better.) Yeah, I understand. Maggie took a big sip of her Propel. And where is Darby, anyhow?

Shelbys. Shes gonna be there all weekend. Ah. She nodded. Is that the only reason you agreed to hang out with me this weekend? .no? Because you cant hang out with Darby. she said. If she was here, would youve said no to me? I thought about it and then still said, No. I always hang out with Darby. Shes at my house all week. This is our break from each other seriously. Thats what we call it. AndAnd just because were not dating anymore doesnt mean we cant be friends and hang out. I never said we couldnt. I-I know. I was just saying that in case you were thinking it. But apparently it never crossed your mind, so sorry. I take it back. Geez. I wasnt saying that either! Okay. Are we gonna work on our thing? Yeah. Sure. Okay. But we just sat there, so I was like, Like now? Oh, yeah, yeah. She got up and went over to their family computer desk and opened up a drawer, pulling out a laptop. She walked back over to me and handed it to me. You can use this its Emmys. And dont worry, I asked her if you could use it, and she said yes. Good Lord. I forgot how big laptops are. Alright. She went back over and sat down in the computer chair. She turned on that computer and waited for it to load. Im still a little awkward here and dont like touching other peoples stuff, so I reluctantly opened up Emmys ginormous laptop. It took a number of seconds but the little user screen popped up. I clicked the only icon there: jhnlancjacnalihjfnc and thankfully there wasnt a password I had to put in. A couple more seconds and then the desktop came up. Allllrriiiggghhttyy. Start, All Programs hmm. Microsoft PowerPoint 2010. Alright. Click. Cool. Okay, uhmDoes Emmy use Google Chrome? Because I really dont like Internet Explorer. Mozillas alright, but Chromes better.

Uhhhno. But there is Safari. Thats okay. Click. Wait for it to load. Okay, gooooood. Ugghhh. I dont want to do this. But I need to. Its due Tuesday. In five days. Well.thats a lot of days. But I know Im not gonna do it Sunday or Monday night. Wait, no actually its only four. Its due Tuesday. I only have tonight, tomorrow and Sunday to work on it. Well, those are the only days Ill feel like working on it. I need a pep-talk. Uh I looked up at Maggie. Can I wheres your bathroom? Yeah, sure. UhmI asked where? but okay. Kay, thanks. I walked myself down the hall to the room Im assuming was the bathroom, shut the door behind me and whipped out my phone, dialing Shelbys number. Couple of rings later, Yes, Nathan? It was Darby. Oh my God. I dont want to do it. Darby, help me. Im going to fail. HELP. Alright, alright. Calm down, bro. If you dont do it, youre gonna fail, exactly. And remember, Smith said if you fail this project thats a hundred points youre gonna fail this semester. And you dont want that. Your moms gonna bitch at you a lot, and then Im gonna have to hear all about it. Spare me, Nate. Please. Fine, fine. For you, I guess. Thank you! Just Okay. I gotta go, okay? Were at Frickers and its my turn to order, and Shelby wont stop giving me the stink-eye. I heard Shelby yell out, Well, excuuuuuuuuuuuse me! Frickers? Man, you suck. I could hear the smile in her voice as she said, As long as youll always blow. Good one, sweet cheeks, but its kind of the other way around. Oh, whatever! Youll do fine. she said. I believe in you, bub. Yeah, yeah. She laughed. Okay, I love you. Bye.

Uh-huh. I love you, too. Bye. And then she said, Bye again for some reason, and Shelby yelled, BYE, NATE! But anyway. Im feeling very good about myself now. Thank you, Darby. I flushed the toilet and waited a few seconds to make Maggie think I actually went to the bathroom even though I didnt. And then I pretended to wash my hands so she didnt think I was disgusting or whatever. I walked back out to the living room. We worked on our projects for abouta while, and no one else is home yet. Should I be scared? Uhm, on the bright side. I got a nice back ground for all my slides. And some info. Darby would be so proud. But eventually Maggie saw how bored I was and we stopped and went out and sat on her back porch. Oh, turns out her dog has been outback this whole time. We didnt even really talk. We just sat there. It was actually kind of awkward. So I was so thankful when my phone almost made me shit myself when it decided to suddenly not be on silent anymore. Someones calling me. Ashleys calling me. Why. Why is she calling me? Why didnt she just text me? How did she get my number? I really didnt want to talk to her, but gah, Maggies awkward. I answered. Uhyeah? She was crying. Or sounded like it. Uhm, yeah, Nate. Hi. Youre not home. Where are you? Uh I turned so I wasnt facing Maggie anymore. No, Im at a friends. Why? Oh, uhm. She was quiet for a few seconds. *odd sound* Nothing. No. Obviously its something. What? Are you okay? She was quiet again, and then she blurted out, I broke up with Colton. .YouYou what? You broke up with Colton? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? Maggie sat up quickly. What? Who broke up with Colton? Nate Nate, tell me. Who broke up with Colton? What? I swatted at her and then turned my attention back to Ashley. She said, Whos that?

My friend. I told her. Whats wrong with you? What did you tell him? You left me out of this, right? Yes. I told him the truth in a way. I told him I didnt like being his girlfriend along with two other girls. Its not fair, and it hurts. I told him I dont love him. I told him I loved someone else. Someone who actually cared about me and my feelings. And - Woah, woah. You love someone? Who? Maggie became alert again. Someone loves someone? WHO? I shushed her. But Ashley didnt answer me, which pissed me off a bit. She just said instead, And I said I couldnt be with him anymore, if all we were going to do was have sex that only meant something to one of us. Well, thats cool. I really wanna know who she loves. Well, go you. Now who do you love? But she didnt say anything. Come on! Tell me. Do I know him? If I do, I wont tell. I promise. I waited, but she stayed silent. And then it sounded like she was about to say something. But nothing. And then, You. Me? Me what? I asked, hoping that was actually like a Japanese name that sounded like the word you. I mean, why would it be me? She said she loved someone who actually cared about her and her feelingsdoesnt she think I didnt/dont? Yknow? We had a fight about it. And sex that only meant something to one of uswe did that, tooso? This girls mixed up. Well, she said, in a way, so she didnt tell him the complete truth. So maybe she was lying about loving someone? Yes? You. she said again. I love you. NO. I never hung up so fast. Maggie noticed. What? she asked. Now I was the one not saying anything. I didnt even think about it. I chucked my phone. Far. It went all the way across the lawn, and over the fence. Maggies dog, Mugz, barked and jumped up, chasing my phone. And ran right into the fence. If I wasnt so petrified I wouldve laughed. I think there was a dog on the other side, because I heard another yelp. I think I just hit a dog. Oh my god. Or Mugz scared the crap out of the other dog? Or that was Mugz?

Maggie just kept saying, What NATE, why did you you threw your WHAT? What happened? Who was that? TELL ME, PLEASE. I need to know! Tell me, tell me, tell me. Uhm, rather not. What why not? Who was that? Whatd they say? I wanted to call Darby so bad, but my phone That phone was really, really expensive. THEN WHY DID YOU THROW IT? Who was that? Nate, tell me! NO. I said, finally realizing how absurd that would be, me telling her who that was and what they said. Hello. Ex-girlfriend here. Do I really wanna tell her about my ex-fuck-buddy and how she apparently loves me now? Well, maybe I could just tell her about Ashley breaking up with Colton and just wing it if she asks any other questions. Its not like she talks to Ashley. Nate, please! she begged. Tell me, tell me, pleeeaassseee! Its gonna drive me insane if you dont tell me. DO YOU WANT THAT? DO YOU WANT ME TO GO INSANE? Oh, you mean you arent now? Then what is all this? No. she said, shaking her head, seeing what I was doing. Dont go trying to get me all mad; youre telling me no matter what, so dont stall, just tell me. I mean, did you really expect to have that type of conversation and be able to start wiggin out right in front of me? Oh, Nathanial, I thought you knew me better. jnfkncla shes so right. Even though weve only known each other for, what, a few months, and dated each other for, what, a month? And only hung out a few times. I know better than to do that in front of Maggie. Shell eventually find out. Shes just like Darby, always able to figure shit out when she really wants to know. I swear I just switched out the original with a copy. Okay, fiiinnee! YES! Alright, spill it. Okay, okay, uhm. You know Ashley, right? Heard of her?

She nodded. Coltons chick OHHHHH. Oh my - She leaned in and whispered, They broke up? And when I nodded, her hands flew to her mouth and she gasped. Oh, man! Why? What happened? Well, uh, I looked around her yard. Its really dark out now. Where is everyone? I tried to remember everything Ashley told me. She just told me that well, you know how he was, like, using her, right? She nodded. Well, she just told me that she told him that she had had enough of it, and she was done with him; that it hurt. And I was suddenly as interested as her when I said, And that she didnt love him ever! Oh, my god! Maggie gasped, hands back over her mouth. Brutal, much? RIGHT. Well, I mean she has a reason - - yeah, but ouch. Colton still has feelings. Ugh I know. Dont remind me. She patted her hand on my knee eagerly. Well, go on. Why did you go all, Me? Me what? What was that about? Why did you throw your phone? Oh, uh, THINK! THINK! I got nothing. Why else would she say that to me in that conversation? What else could she have said to make me chuck my expensive-ass phone? OH I COULD SAY ASHLEY THINKS SHE MIGHT BE PREGNANT. No, then Maggie will be all, *GASP!* WHAT, DID YOU SLEEP WITH HER? IS IT YOURS? WHAT THE HELL, NATE. and I dont want to deal with that. I could just say that she wanted me to be the one to, like, tell Colton. No. Ashleys not pregnant. (I hope not) I cant say that. Its not true. And what if Maggie goes and runs her big mouth, and starts telling everyone? Okay, uhm, maybe Ill just say WAIT! Maggie snapped. Who does she love? Aw damn. I forgot about that part. Somehow. And then she gasped. Oh my Nateshe doesnt she doesntloveyou, does she? I just made all the physical exaggerations that will hopefully lead her to believe I thought that was preposterous. No, Maggie. She relaxed. Lets not get ridiculous here. Then what? she asked. Who? I still havent thought that far. Uhm, okay, uhmmmSHIT. I DONT KNOW.

This really odd sound suddenly hit my ears. Mustve hit Maggies, too, because she just made the what the fuck is that? face, and she said, What the fuck is that? Before I could get my two cents in, she yelled out, MUGZ! Mugz, come here, boy. *smooch-y sounds* Come on. Where are ya? Come here, boy! And here came Mugz. With something in his mouth. MY PHONE. I guess I didnt go as far as I thought. Oh my - Maggie pulled him onto her lap. Spit that out, right now, young man! Mugz, right now! Yeah, I dont know if I want that back, but she eventually yanked it out. She shoved him off her, my gordy-ass phone in hand. And then she handed it to me. Uh, no. I dont want that anymore. From what I can see, theres Mugz drool all over it, bite marks, and the screen was cracked. She dropped it in my hands and went back to loving on Mugz. Yeah. It doesnt feel that grand, either. Ew, it was all slobbery. And it reeked. I gagged remembering that Mugz was eating his own shit before he chased after my phone. I threw it down on the ground, disgusted, trying not to throw up. Well, how about that for a diversion. My mom is going to let my dad kill me, and shes gonna just stand there yelling at me. Mugz hopped up and darted after my phone, and startedeating it again. MUGZ! Maggie screamed. STOP IT! STOP IT NOW! Maybe I should just go. I recommended, already standing. That made her stop. She instantly jolted up. What NO. I thought but - I was supposed to stay the night. But, uh, yeah. Not feelin it anymore. Plus, shes gonna make me tell her. No thanks. But theres a chance we could bang, soNo, I cant just stay for that. And I think that Mills kids having another party. I mean, come on. Its Friday (Rebecca Black: Friday, gotta get down on Friday Me: Fun, fun, fun, fun.) All his parties include weed and easy girls. Which are probably really dirty girls. Maybe Ill just stay hereMaggies clean. I hope. I gotta talk to Colton. Well, I dont gotta nor wanna, really. But, but, Nate. She took a few steps forward, and I took five back. I want you to stay. she said.

But I want to make sure hes okay. Because, like I said, he actually did like Ashley a lot. And if she really did tell him she didnt love him, hes gonna be really, uhm, hurt. And, like, no one else likes him, really, so he should be really suicidal, is what Im saying. Like already. And this should break him. And I dont want it to, and like he succeed, because then Ill always know that I couldve done something and been there for him, but didnt. And then Ill have to live with knowing that its basically my fault. His girlfriend, that he actually mightve loved, loves me instead. Hell be fine, Nate. I promise. she told me, suddenly only inches away. Heh, hey. Im just gonna back up a bit. You dont know that. and then I just rephrased all the things I just thought about that whole situation into another big paragraph and said it to her. I left out the like last sentence, though. And you know what she did? She just like chuckled and said I was sweet. No. If I said that last sentence, you wouldnt be saying that. But I stayed strong. I didnt give in and be like, Okay, youre right. Fine. But since youre making me stay here when I really know I shouldnt, sex me up, alright? No, I didnt say that. I just told her, I really gotta go, okay? Illcall you later or something, and we can hang out to tomorrow. She continued to pout. But, Nate - Nope. I turned, heading inside, walking through the kitchen to the living room. Right when I was about to open the front door, I realized: heh, my project. Well, Im coming back over tomorrow. Yeah, but what if you dont? .right. Plus I kinda promised my mom Id bring it home and show her what I got so far. If I dont and just tell her, she thinks Im lying. So Thankfully, Maggie was right behind me. -_Nate, please, she started. Why is it such a big deal? Why does she want me to stay here so bad? Do you have a flash drive? She stared at me. What? Uhm, yeah. Why?

I pointed to Emmys laptop, which was shut now. Project. She looked from it to me, and then got that sad, pleading look on her face again. Or you could just stay here? And we could work on it together? NO, OH MY GOD, MAGGIE. WHAT DONT YOU GET? ARE YOU REALLY THAT STUPID? IM GOING HOME. TO BE THERE FOR MY BROTHER WHO JUST GOT DUMPED. COLTON NEEDS ME. HED DO THE SAME FOR ME. AND WHY IS IT SO IMPORTANT THAT I STAY HERE? IM NOT THAT GREAT OF A KID. IF IT MAKES YOU WANT ME OUT OF HERE THEN I JUST MIGHT AS WELL TELL YOU THAT ITS ME. ASHLEY LOVES ME. OKAY? THERE. NOW, PLEASE GET ME A GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCKING FLASH DRIVE BEFORE I FUCKING CHOKE YOU, YOU FUCKING GAAAHHHHH!!!!! Woah. I feel better. She just stood there. Youre lying, right? Ashleyloves you? So I was right? She loves you? YES, OH MY GOD. I started my march to her room, fighting the urge to make a Skrillex joke. I believe I saw a flash drive in here at one time. And Maggies obviously not gonna get it for me. I threw open her door, stomping over to her desk, looking for one. Hey, guess who followed me. Nate - God damn, girl. Why do you say my name so much? Oh, hey, found one. I grabbed, and turned around, holding it up. Can I use this? Yes? Thanks. I pushed passed her to the door, going back to the living room. She followed me, grabbing my arm, yanking me back, forcing me to turn back around. Nate, she fucking said a-fucking-gain. Maggie. I mocked. You do know that we are the only ones here, right? You dont have to point me out like we arent. Okay, okay. Im sorry. But, Nate, I really am. I just I justI want you to stay, okay. Please? I-I miss you. We never hang out anymore. The only reason you agree to hanging out with me is because you know youre gonna get something out of it. Thats not true. Entirely.

And Im okay with it. she said, shaking her head. Im okay with it becauseI-I want to see you. I need to, because I lo-like you. Still. Its crazy, really. But you were my first, okay; I get the right to be a little clingy. SHUT UP. SHHHHHUUUTTT IT UP. WHY? What is it that makes people think Im so great? Like I have everything? But awww shit): at the last part she said. But I actually have nothing. My life is shit. Ive got one or two real friends and theyre girls. No girlfriend because I cant maintain a real relationship. I always fuck something up. Maggie, you should know this. Im an asshole, if you havent noticed. I dont even know why people want to talk to me. My jokes are crude and offensive. You should be repulsed by me. Im a disappointment to my family. My grades at school are now slipping. All my money goes to weed or pointless shit. Im such a waste of space and Ive had enough of it. And when I get home Im going to get my ass handed to me, because of my stupid phone. And Ashley probably fucking gave me something because she slept with Colton, and I just HAD to do her. Coltons a slut, and Id be surprised if he was clean. I told Maggie ALLLLL dat. ^ I even let the last part slip out. OOPS. Yeah, Im definitely not going to stay here tonight. YOU SLEPT WITH HER?!?!?!?! she cried, following me out to the living room. I sat down on the couch, jerking open Emmys laptop. WELL, I WOULDNT SAY IT IF IT WASNT TRUE, MAGGIE GOD DAMIT! I cant get the damn flash drive in the stupid thing. I tried five more times and yelled, MAGGIE, HELP ME. She grabbed it from me and I clicked the little user thing. Of course she got it in right away. You had it upside down. she told me. Oh. Yeah. She sighed. Oh my God. This fucking thing is taking forever to be recognized on Emmys stupid computer....FINALLY. I clicked the little save as button and then saved it onto the flash drive.in case you wanted to know how that whole situation went down.

I didnt remove it safely. I yanked it out. Well, lifes too short for that shit. I exited out of PowerPoint, because I didnt want either of them going through it and laugh at how stupid it looked so far, and then theyd go on and on about it to each other. Dumb bitches. I gently shut her laptop, and shot up off the couch, shoving the flash drive into my pocket where my phone would be. I turned to Maggie. She was just sitting there, all sad-like. I tried not to notice, cause if I did, I wouldve hugged her and said I was sowwy and I was lying; none of that was true. I was just mad, blah blah. Now, any other questions or can I go home? You can go home. Kay, bye- WAIT, NATE! Okay, one more question. I stopped, and turned back around, trying not to give her the death glare. What? Why? she asked. Why her? I told her the same thing I think I told my Mom. She was there. She nodded, like okay. What ifI was there? Then I probably wouldve did ja. For some reason that made her smile..kay? And you smile, why? Oh, I dont know. She shrugged, still smiling. Just that youd still do me. Its nice to know. I dunno. Kay, weirdo. She stuck her tongue out at me, so I stuck my tongue out at her. She smiled and looked down at her hands. .Can I still go or would that be...weird now? CauseI think were okay now? I dont know. And then she just had to ask, So...what if Darby was there? Well, I sat myself down on the couch next to her, seeing that I probably wasnt going to leave soon. to be fair, she was there. And she got the most appalled look on her face.

Wha SHE WAS THERE? WHEN YOU WERE DOIN ASHLEY? NATE, EW! Wh NO. She was there earlier, and then she had to go home, and then I heard Colton screwin someone and then I got all bleh and hungry, so I went to the kitchen and Ashley was there, all sad, and yeah. Oh.soare you feelingbleh.right now? Im pretty sure she took bleh as horny, which it was. Actually I really want ice cream. OR GRILLED CHEESE. YUM. MAGGIE. NO. I have to go home. You dont have to. Alright, I said, standing up. Ill make a deal with you, if youll make me some grilled cheese, or get me ice cream or both I will stay. If you dont, Im out. She actually got this really hopeful look on her face, and hopped up off the couch, bolting into the kitchen. OKAY! And thats when I made a run for it. Well, sorry. I dont know how else I was going to get out of there. Uhmits really cold out. And I forgot my jacket at Maggies. Dang nabbit, Maggie. Why do you have to live so far away from me? It took me about twenty minutes to walk/run home. And I dont know why, but I was expected a parade when I got home. And like everyone was just so happy I was there, and that I made it home safely. I dont know why, but I did. But nope. My mom was chilling on the couch with London and Katrina, watching The Office. The other puppies were in their bed, which was in the corner of the room, sleeping. Theyve gotten so big already. So cute. Father was nowhere to be found. Like always. She just looked up at me and then back at the TV. I thought you were staying at Maggies. I shut the door, and stared at the TV. Yeah, no. Well, since I have ya here. She patted the spot next to her. Sit. I did, and just sat there until she asked, Why are you home?

Well, I sighed. Yeah, I guess Ill tell her. Believe it or not, I actually do tell her anything. Ashley broke up with Colton. And she said, Yeaahh. I kinda heard them yellin at each other, and then Ashley the poor thing came runnin down stairs, bawlin her eyes out. I understand what you meant. She just looked heartbroken and sad. And I would just try do anything I could to make her happy wait. Howd you figure it out? She called me. Wheres Colton? Oh, uh, upstairs, I think. Been up in his room for hours. I was gonna get up, and talk to him, butWhat if Ashley lied to me? Said she didnt say anything about me, but she did? Uhmhow is he? I wanted to make sure I wasnt going to get slaughtered if I went up there. She got an even more sadder look on her face. Ive never seen him this down. Ever. Are you gonna go talk to him? Yeeahh. I guess. If I dont make it back, all my belongings go to Darby. I was just about to get up when Why dont you and Darby date? OH MY GOD. MOM. STOP. Why does everyone say that? WHY. I was just saying. Youd be cute together. If I didnt know you guys were just friends I would think you guys were already dating. She still likes you, right? Hop on that, bro. KAY, COOL. I got up, heading towards the stairs. She kept talkin, though, so I was like, HEY, MAN. DONT TALK TO MEEEE. and ran upstairs. Coltons door was shut. Didnt really want to knock. What if hes doin Jordan or Maddie? I put my ear up to the door. Didnt hear any moaning or any of that. But I THINK I JUST HEARD A SNIFFLE. IS HE CRYING ?!?!?!?! I softly knocked. I heard another sniffle and then, What? I dont know if I should just walk in or whatI did. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands. He looked up. *sniffle* Sup. Hey, man I stepped in. It is huugggeee up here. Holy crap. Ive never actually been up here. But geez-us. Uh, whats, whats up? How, uh, are you? Well.I dont really know how to make

dudes feel better or how to talk to them, which is why I guess I always hang out with girls. I know how to talk to them, and Im okay with hugging them if theyre sad? Im fine. Really? You sound a bit nasallylike you were just crying. Oh oh crap. HeHes starting to cry a little bit, but like in a manly way, I guess. Hes trying not to. Oh lord. What do I do? He just dropped his head in his hands, made a loud sniffly nose. ): WHAT DO I DO? Uhhdont dont do that. Uh - Should I like hug him or something? I slowly walked over and sat a few feet away from him on his bed or going to. This bed is dirty as fuck. You cant like look at it and see, but hes fucked so many shanks on here. Lets just sit on the corner here. EW OH MY GOD. IT FEELS WET. Maybe its his tears YEAH OR CUM. Ugh. Dont think about, dont think about it. Theres probably Crabs or Gonorrhea all over me now. THAT SHIT AINT CURABLE. Okay, well, it is, but UGGHH. STOP IT. I SAID DONT THINK ABOUT IT. Did you want something? YEAH, ANTIBIOTICS, PLEASE. OR A QUARANTINE. OR GERM-X, AT LEAST. Nah, Im good No, wait. UhmI-I heard about you and Ashley He groaned. Im fine. I scrunched up my nose. He needs to change these sheets. Theyre smellin a bit rank. Are you sure? You I know how much you liked her. And Seriously. he said, running his hands through his hair. He sniffled again. Im fine. I just OH MY GOD. IS THAT A DILDO? I just want to be alone right now, actually. Oh, okay. I got my ass up. Yeah, but thanks for for caring. I guess. I cleared my throat, making my way to the door. Yup. Anytime. Uh, later. Yup.

I shut the door behind me. Ugh. I swear it was like eighteen years of college and Colton all shoved into one room. Id like to think I saved a life today. Now, if youll excuse me, Im gonna go bathe in some GermX now. too much?

-- Chapter Ten.

Oh my God. I think Im going to throw up. Its Monday night. My projects due tomorrow. In front of everyone, I will have to present. I just sounded like Yoda. Anyway. Godddddddddddddddddddd. I dont want to. I dont know whats wrong with me. I used to be able to do presentations all the time, no problem. That was like grade one to fourth. And there was a lot of presentations during that time period. SO MANY. In front of everyone. I used to be fine, and then here came fifth grade. In D.A.R.E. we had to write a paper about how we wont do drugs or drink which I now find ironic, because from time to time you can find me crushin up my weed, maybe snorting a line of coke, and/or spilling my Heineken on my D.A.R.E folder and, uhwhat were we talking about? Oh, yeah, and read it in front of everyone. OH MY GODDDDDDD. I was so ABJKANLJDBKAJDNA. Freakin out during that whole thing. And like I was shaking so bad, and this fucker was just like, Oh my God. He was shaking so much! I got suspended for decking him. But he deserved it. But then in sixth grade, I was fine again. We had to do some many presentations that year, but I was good. But then after that, DOWNFALL. I get so shaky and nervous just THINKING about presenting. But, but in eighth grade, we had to do a PowerPoint on some shit from the 18 th-century, and present it in front of half of our team, which was more than one hundred people (our whole

team was about three hundred people). And I was fine. Somewhat. I kind of felt like throwing up before and after, but during, I was okay. Good Lord. I can really ramble, cant I? Ugh. Whatever. Im putting the finishing touches on my PowerPoint. It looks cool. I even presented it to Darby about five times. But oh my God. I cant even do that reading shit in front of people. You know, like going around the room and reading a paragraph out of a book stuff? Yeah, I get really nervous, but then, right after, Im all like DudeI wanna read now. But, yeah, anyway. Darby presented hers to me, too. Hers was cool. Not as cool as mine, but it was cool. Butyeah, nervous. Socan we just take our time getting to Health class? Please? (Author: NO. FAST FORWARD, BITCH.) -___________________________________So, yeah, Im now at my fourth class, Algebra. Health is next. Yikes. Oh, and just so you know yeah, Im a sophomore in Algebra Two. I had Algebra One in eighth grade and Informal Geometry when I was a freshman. If you werent even questioning that thennvm. Most sophomores are in Informal Geometry now. Yeah. Anyway. Just thought Id clear that up. Yeah. Were doing a practice quiz right now kind of like a review, I guess, because finals are next week. And then after that we have break for two weeks. YAY. But yeah. I finished my quiz thing a while ago. Now Im just sitting there. Bored. Blah. I need to hang out with my dude friends soon. Dont get me wrong, I love Darby and somewhat like my other chick friends, butIm getting too chicky. You know? And I really want pizza right now. And I dont know what else to talk about right now. Like honestly. Im all out. Uhm, lets talk about my weird obsession with Hayley Williams. Okay, uhm

Shes fucking gorgeous and hilarious and I love her and I dont even want to have sex with her. I just respect her so much. I want to respect her all night, for the rest of my life, for always. I want to respect her up against a wall. Shes just so kasfbnalnfldfans I cant even. God, she is so great. <3 And my ringtone is her just saying Hey, this is Hayley, and, uh, I think you got someone calling you right now. Like theyre trying to get a hold of you, you know that. I just downloaded it. Just like go to whatever thing you use to download music and shit I use Ares; it used to be Limewire, but yeah, they had to be stupid and stop working anyway, just go there and type in either You got someone calling you and/or Hayley Williams. If you just put it Hayley Williams, youll get a bunch of songs she was featured in, and theyre all great. Like The Few That Remain by Set Your Goals omg. I love the way she comes in on that. All like Whoa, whoa, guys, uhm, is it cool if I get in on this here? HELL YEAH! Dude, go for it. ALRIGHT, LISTEN OHHH, I SEE YOU READY, SET, GO. and yeah. Shes just amazing.<333 Oh, and my background on my phone is Hayley, too. I really like her talking voice. Shes just so YUM like all together. Anyway . I honestly dont know what else to say. Uhm, Im really liking the band Memphis May Fire. I dunno. Theyre good. And Of Mice & Men REALLY good, and will always be. I was watching a crap load of interviews over the weekend of Austin and Alan and I it was great. And a couple interviews with Danny and James from AA, and, good Lord. Their accents are amazing. The way James says drums Hey, Im James and I play the drooms CUTE. And you know what. Watching bands do interviews makes me have so much more respect for them and watching Hayley Williams do anything makes me love her even more. AND HAVE YOU SEEN HER PERFORM LIVE? Shes a tiny little thing but she goes harder on stage than any dude Ive ever seen.

Like honestly, Im in love. I almost love her more than I love Darby NAAAHHH. That aint possible. I love Darby a lot. Holy crap. I can really go on about nothing, cant I? But goodness Darbys great, too. God, I love her. I love her so much that I dont even want to have sex with her. I just respect her so much. I want to respect her all night, for the rest of my life, for always. I want to respect her up against a wall. Shes just so AWESOME. Hah. Who am I kidding. I wanna have sex with her. Okay, Id have sex with anyone. But preferably Darby, alright. But, no, seriously. I love Darby. I would date her so hard and then marry the fuck out of her. I told her that, too. Right in front of her dad. Thats how much I love her; I would risk getting my ass kicked. But he just laughed. Uhm, so one time I, I guess, play wrestled a girl and she said You could probably rape me right now if you wanted to. and I couldnt tell if she was flirting or if she was genuinely scared for her virginity. So I just got up and left. goddd Im so boooorreeeddd. blaahhhh. think of stuff to talk about. So I met this girl at the club and I just wanted her to suck my dick and that's cause SHES A BOPPIN BITCH SHES A BOPPIN BITCH SHES A BOPPIN BITCH. Oh my God. This is boring. I kinda want to go to Health now. I dont even care. Just get me out of here oh god. Its 11:20. NO, NO. I TAKE IT BACK. I DONT WANNA GO ANYMORE. PLEASE. Darby bolted over to my desk and grinned evilly. Have fun in Health. and then ran away. Bitch.

Butokay, I dont feel like explaining how it all went down in detail, butI didgood, I think. People clapped for me. Like a lot. A lot. A. Lot. Way more and louder than they did for other peopleso Maybe I just did so bad that they wanted me to feel better about myself. You know? So they clapped like a just did badass at it. Or I actually did do badass on it. Or no. Im going with that. Im a badass and need to accept it. Okay, Londons being annoying. Shes attacking the cable for my laptop charger, my hand, my foot, my school bag and my fingers as I try to eat my Easy Mac. shes a slut. Oh, yeah. Im home, by the way. And this fucking girl omg. She came up to me today at lunch and was like, Whats your name? Youre quite the stunner. And I was just like, Thats why they call me Taser. She just laughed and walked away. Like I didnt even answer you. I just made a smartass comment. Dont walk away yet. Be determined. Get your answer. And then, ANOTHER GIRL came up to me it was maybe later on, though. She was like, Want to try an Australian kiss? It's like a French kiss but down under. I was just Hahahahahhahahahahahaha. Then she walked away. But wtf. Is it National Flirt With Nate And Then Walk Away Day? like seriously. So many chicks came up to me oops. I just kicked London off my bed. She yelped and ran out the door WELL IF SHE WASNT SUCH A SLUT.

I think my mom should get a Twitter. It would be hilarious. Were talking about it right now. Downstairs. In the living room. Well, apparently, London came yelping like a little bitch to her, and the first thing my mom yells is, NATE, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO MY BABY? AND WHATS A TWITTER? So I explained it to her, and I just thought it would be a great idea. So were making her an account right now. And then some other bitch came up to me and was like, How are you, Sam? all smiley. And I was just like, What - Im not Sam. AND THEN SHE FUCKING RAN AWAY, LAUGHING. Sorry. I was thinking about school again. Ugh. Anyway. Im skipping to Saturday morning and Im sorry but who the fuck comes and fixes windows at 7:30 in the fucking morning? SO fucking pissed off. Tried as fuck and the window guy comes and is telling me I have to wake up and leave my room so he can fix it. I told him to fuck off but he didnt listen. Im just kinda lying in bed now with the covers over me yelling at everyone. But oh my God. He is louder than a mother-fucker. I am so pissed. FIIIIINNEEEE!!!!!!! I yelled getting up with my big comforter and extra firm pillow. ILL GO. FUCK YOU. and tried not to trip and die as I made my way downstairs to the living room. I threw my pillow on the couch and then wrapped myself up in my blanket, felling down on the couch, going back to bed, trying to ignore the obnoxiously loud sound of hammering. At like ten or something, my mom came barging out of her room with London running behind her. London was barking really loud and annoying-like, and my mom was all COME ON, LONDON!!!! COME ON!! LETS GO OUTSIDE!!! YOU WANNA GO OUTSIDE!?!?!?!? Oh my God. HES STILL HERE. Just hammering away. If he doesnt leave soon I will commit. After playing with her outside for a bit, she came back inside but let London stay out. She got her coffee and walked into the living room. She patted at my feet and told me, Move over, moocher. I reluctantly did, still grouchy as fuck.

Where are you out here? she asked, turning on the loud-ass TV but it still didnt drowned out the loud sound of power drills. I groaned loudly, annoyed, before answering her. The fucking window guy made me get out of MY ROOM at SEVEN IN THE FUCKING MORNING so he could fix the windows. The one that is being loud as fuck right now. She was quiet for a second. She went Uhmwhat window guy? The one you obviously let in. Do you not hear that? I snapped, shoving my head under my blanket, trying to block out all the noise. But nope. Still loud as can be. Somehow it was louder now. I didnt let any window guys in. I yanked the blanket off my head, still peeved and a little confused. So what, some dude just walked in our house and decided to fix my window? She jumped up, walking over to the bottoms of the steps. She looked up there. She turned back to me. Is he still here? I sat up. I have the biggest head ache ever. Uhm, yeah. How do not hear him? She looked afraid for a second and then looked back upstairs, then she scowled at me, walking back into the living room. Good one, Nate. You almost had me goin there. What what are you talking about? I got up, following her into the kitchen. hfklfnka. When I passed the stairs the sound of hammering and talking and power drills got exceptionally louder. Was there more than one guy now? Either that or hes talking to himself. In different voices. What are you talking about? she said, angry, yanking open the back door. She whistled and called for London. After a couple seconds, she came running inside. I was being serious! So was I. She slammed shut the door and picked up the dog food, filling up a few bowls with it, setting them on the ground. She didnt call for them. Give it a minute. Theyll all come running. Dont play games with me, Nate. No window guys are here. Ive had enough of these stupid games. Do you do this for attention? Or are you just fucking with me because you think its funny? She thinks Im doggin on her because, uh, shes a bit of a schizo just mildly and, so she says, she used to have episodes like this all the time where she thought she heard/saw something

that wasnt actually there. And no one would believe her when she told them about it. So she think Im just being a dick and mocking her, because, well, I did it a few times to her before. I WAS HIGH, OKAY, AND SHE WAS BEING A BITCH. Like, really bitchy. But I guess she has a reason. Shes alsokind ofbipolar. My jaw clenched. No! Im serious. Im not screwin with you. Mom, just believe me. For once. Just please - Yeahuhmthis is actually happened before, though. Kind of. Just not the same exact situation. Okay, so about a year ago, I swear to God, I walked into our house and there was this little girl, just chilling at on our couch. I didnt really pay much attention to her, because, I mean, Tillys a little girl and not a completely loner, so she must have friends. And I was just like, Hi. And she was like, Hello. I asked her, How are you? And she told me she was okay, kind of bored and anyway, we had a really long conversation, and she just told me her whole life story. And I told her mine, but hers was weird as fuck. She kept saying shit about her Large Mama Doll that her brother broke, and she was really upset about it. And then she went on and on about The Wizard of Oz and how her mom was going to go take her and her brother to see it as soon as it came out, and I was just like wut? Its already out, kiddo. Where have you been? But she was just so excited about it. And Im not even going to say anything about what she was wearing. She just looked so.old-timey. You know? She was wearing this really.bland dress and, clippy shoes which reminds me when she just got up and started tap dancing for me andI dont know. But anyway, I eventually started to realize that shes been talking to me for about an hour, and wasnt hanging out with Tilly..which was why I thought she was here. So I asked her, Wheres Tilly? And she was just like, Tilly? I was like, Yeah, thats why youre here, right? Youre one of her friendsright? And she told me, NoI dont know why Im here. I just am. and blah blah blah.

But then before I could ask, What the hell do you mean? she said she had to go. It was time for the movie, and that her mom was here to pick her up, and I was just WHHHAAAATTTTTTTT. Anyway, yeah. I told my mom about it, but she just got all mad at me. No, Nate! she snapped. O-KAAAAAAAAAAAYY. I yelled, walking into the living room. I got my stuff and marched my ass back up to my room. And, uhmthose guys are gonelike no one is here. But me. It was like they were never here. There wasnt any of that weird plastic stuff on the floor. Or anything. It was all gone. But I could still kind of hear them talking. Like they were still here. Should I tell my mom? No. Shell just get all pissy at me. I didnt even want to sleep anymore. It felt reallyeerie in here. And I dont know. I keep feeling like someones watching me. But..it was kind of a.good feeling..in a way. Likeidk. I just felt good. Calm. It was weird. Yeah, so, Im just going to leave before I get brutally murdered. But where will I go? I dont want to stay in this house. Darbys at Shelbys, andI dont know if Maggie and I are okay. We havent talked since I told her to make me grilled cheese and then I ran out on her. ButEmmy and I are okay, I think. She hasnt been at school, all week, thoughSo she could be pissed at me, but hasnt had the chance to tell it to my face. Plus, I cant call or text her to even plan on hanging out. I still havent told my mom about my phone. I probably should. But not now. Shes mad at me. FOR TELLING THE TRUTH. But if I was just imagining it, thenit wouldnt be the truth. But I couldnt have imagined it. It was so real. He was really here. He kicked me out of my room to work on my window, which, if you ask me, doesnt need to be fixed. I sighed trying to figure out what I was going to do. Well, first, I should get out of this room. I threw my blanket and pillow on my bed, and then I heard what sounded like vibrating, likea phone. It did it twice. I tried to figure out where I heard it. It did it again. It sounded like it was coming from somewhere on my bed. I moved my blanket. Not there. It did it again. I went to pick up one of my pillows, lifting it up.

..my phone? wtf? IT. WAS. MY. PHONE. All normal again, like it wasnt mauled by Maggies dog. I wasnt entirely sure I wanted to even touch it. What if it was like poisoned or, like, what if I touched it and got electrocuted? I dont want that. I reached for it and it buzzed a few more times. Someones calling me. Unrestricted was calling me. What. The. HELL. Uhhhh..should I answer it? Okay. I hesitantly grabbed my phoneYep, Im still alive. But I actually jumped and screamed at the sound of my poster of Paramore falling down AGAIN. Okay, whatever is in my room obviously does not like Paramore. FOR SOME UNKNOWN DUMBASS REASON. I quickly hit ignore on my phone, and shoved it into my back pocket and bolted out of my room, running downstairs into the living room. I dont want to be in this house any more. Its haunted. I know it is, and I dont want to be killed by a ghost. So, remembering that Tilly was here, I got her, Chubbs, and Katrina, and we went to the park. And I couldnt stop staring at my phone. The whole time. what the hell. Im so confused. HOW? How is it all okay? How long has it been on my bed? Who put it there? Maybemaybe Maggie fixed it and snuck over, and hid it there? And just didnt tell me? It is my phone. All my stuff is on it, its all the same as when I left it. Who was calling me? I really kind of wanted them to call me again and figure out. I was about to text Maggie.

What if Im going crazy? What if its not actually here and Im just imagining it? Butit feels so real And those window dudes. They WERE here. Im not imaging thatam I? What if Im schizophrenic, like my mom? Her brother and sister were schizophrenic, too. But they were the really crazy kind. Like my uncle, Stephan. One day he just went crazy he was riding his bike outside his house last Thanksgiving me, Tilly, Colton, my mom, and her dad were there and this dude was walking down the street, didnt even look at him, but Stephan went crazy. He got off his bike, picked up Tillys little plastic bat, and beat the shit out of him. It was crazy. And her sister Amanda. According to my mom, Amanda was getting some things out of her locker when this really nice girl came up to her. She doesnt know what she said to Amanda, but the next thing she knows, Amanda shoved that girls head into her locker, and slammed the door on her head over and over and over again, and ugh. Makes me cringe. But theyre both in jail now, so Amanda and Stephan. But, yeah. Apparently it runs in the family on her side, anyway. AndI dont want to be schizophrenic. Ive seen how bad it can get. Dont want that happening to me. Butcould I be imaging my phone? Being right in my hand? I was afraid to ask Tilly to touch it and tell me it was actually there, but what if its not, and she looks at me like Im a lunatic, and then Id know Im actually a lunatic? I really dont want that. *gasp* My mom. Shes Bi-Polar. WHAT IF I AM TOO? I wouldnt be surprised kind of already act like I am but still. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Someone, please kill me before I find out. My phone started vibrating again. It only did it twice, so its a text message. I clicked a button, the screen lit up, and I looked lovingly at my background before unlocking the screen. Uhmit was Cha-Cha. Hey, did you know its fifty-eight degrees out? It is. Cha-Cha told me so. I sighed, wanting to know how the hell my phone was actually here. I really wanted to text Maggie or Emmy, and ask them if they had anything to do with itbut I didnt want to know at the same time.

Screw it. I need to know. I clicked the little message icon, and then Magzilla (thats Maggie, btw.) To: Magzilla From: Me ---------------------------------------Hey..? ---------------------------------------And we wait. Tilly was swinging. Katrina was laying on the bench next me, just chillin. The puppies were over by Tilly, playing in the mulch. So cute. And phone buzzes. uhm To: Me From: Magzilla --------------------------------------------------------------Emmys pissed at you. Just so you know. So be expecting a text from her soon And hi. Also and, youre texting menew phone? --------------------------------------------------------------Thats the way it looks on my phone, okay. Maggies not retarded and just texts like that for fun. Butshe thinks I got a new phone, so she couldnt have fixed it for me. And she actually texted back, so Im not imaging my phone. Its actually there. And Emmy is pissed at me. Great. Right as I was about to text Maggie back, *phone buzzes twice*. Hello, Emmy. *buzzes again* -__To: Me From: Em-mah-lee --------------------------------------------------------------(1/2) This is a little late, but WHAT THE FUCK, NATE. Why did you make Maggie cry, you ASShole?? She wont tell me. And Ive had

Mono for about a week, which is why I --------------------------------------------------------------And we click on next message. To: Me From: Em-mah-lee --------------------------------------------------------------(2/2) havent been at school, AND youre a dumbass who throws his phone and breaks it. But anyway TELL ME NOW, OR IM KILLING YOU. --------------------------------------------------------------And lets answer Maggie first. To: Magzilla From: Me --------------------------------------------------------------Uh, yeah. Just got it. Shes angry. And, uhm, you mean you DIDNT fix it for me and then sneak over and hide it under my pillow? If no then Im going crazy. --------------------------------------------------------------Okay, SEND. Now onto Emmy. To: Emmy From: Me --------------------------------------------------------------Uhm, hello. UhhhhhhhhhI just kinda made her sad. nbd. Hey, did you by any chance fix my phone and then sneak over and hide it under my pillow? --------------------------------------------------------------Someone please say they did it. And hello, Maggie. *le click on message*

To: Me From: Magzilla --------------------------------------------------------------(1/2) Yeah, furious. But dont tell her why you

made me, you know, cry, because shell be even more pissed with you. Just make something up. Like say we got into a --------------------------------------------------------------And it just buzzed again. Two more messages. EMMY. NO. Lets just ignore that and read the rest of Maggies message. To: Me From: Magzilla --------------------------------------------------------------(2/2) fight. Thats what I told her, but she wont believe me. Just dont tell her what it was about. And, uhhhhsorry, but no. --------------------------------------------------------------Oh sweet Jesus. Maggie didnt fix my phonewell, maybe Emmy did. Yeah, totally while she was furious with me. Yeah, definitely. Then who did? I sighed, clicking reply. To: Magzilla From: Me --------------------------------------------------------------Fantastic. Okay. --------------------------------------------------------------*sends* To: Me From: Em-mah-lee --------------------------------------------------------------(1/2) NBD? ITA A VERY BIG DEAL. She wouldnt stop crying. SO WHAT DID YOU DO? She wont tell me anything. She justsaid you guys got into a fight. About what? TELL --------------------------------------------------------------And Maggie texts me. *ignores* To: Me From: Em-mah-lee --------------------------------------------------------------(2/2) MEEEEE. And no? wtf? Why the hell would I fix your phone for you after you made my baby sister cry? The

next time I see you, youre dead. --------------------------------------------------------------Cheese and rice. I dont want to deal with you right now, Emmy. Im not mentally stable enough for this, because apparently I AM CRAZY. WHO DID IT THEN? This doesnt make any sense. Maybe Im dreaming. Im answering Maggie first. To: Me From: Magzilla --------------------------------------------------------------If she asks you if youre texting me, say no. She saw that you texted me, which is why she texted you but I told her I wasnt going to answer you. --------------------------------------------------------------Coooooooooooooooooooooool. To: Magzilla From: Me --------------------------------------------------------------Uggghh. Alright. --------------------------------------------------------------(Author: Hey, lets see how this is going for Maggie.)

M4Gz1lla$ P.0.VIEWWWW

Emmy is so pissed. See, this is why I shouldnt have left my phone in the kitchen, unsupervised. I just had a feeling something like this would happen. She always reads my texts. Granted, I wasnt thinking Nate would text me out of the blue, but what do ya know. He did. Thankfully, I walked back into the kitchen, right as she was about to use my phone to text him back, and cuss him out. But now Emmys sitting in her room, yelling at him via text, Im sure. I get why shes mad and all, but I didnt want her to call him out on it, and make him feel bad even though that was kinda shitty. I cant believe he slept with her. :((((( Gaaahhhh. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry. And she loves him. I dont blame her. Nates just so great. In bed and as a person. And I let him

be my first. God, Im so stupid. But it was just so hard to not want him to fuck me. I mean, have you met the dude? Hes hot as fuck and hes so funny and just so amazing and I just cant. And I want to kill myself now. Why did he have to sleep with her??? How many times did they do it? Did he like it? kjahlfjbkdasfcnmdnla do you guys know? I just wanna /wrist. But no. Ive been clean for when did I meet Nate? October first. Ill never forget that day. Well, that was the day that he actually talked to me in conversation form for the first time. I dont even think he noticed me before that. But oh well. He talked to me then. Thats all that matters. It was a crappy day, and he made it a thousand times better. Now the day I first met him Freshmen Orientation, August 17th. I say met with quotation marks, because I didnt actually meet him. I just saw him. I wouldve met him, been in the same little group with him even. But no. Stupid Darby was in front of me, and she got put in his group. And Id see them so many times in those two measly hours, laughing together. Honestly, Ive hated her ever sense. I see them together every day, all the time, laughing. For a little more than a year now, its been. And its not fair. If I was just one spot up, that would be me. Should be me. But no. I had to wait until October first. That day - it was like I realized that I actually can be happy. After one little talk, everything was better. And October third. Now thats the best day ever. (The second being October 15th, when he made love to me for the first time. It was amazing. He was just so considerate and caring. Ugh. If I could do it over again, I would. (Hobo: *gags*) ) But Im pretty sure if I didnt tell him I was, eh, I guess you could say easy, then he probably wouldnt have said yes. I just wanted him to like me. But ugh. I was so happy. Until the twenty-third. Thats when he told me he was going trick or treating withher. And not me, his girlfriend. It was just the worst. And then I heard from these two girls they were talking about it. I heard them talking about this kids party, Travis, I think. They just were going on and on about it. Wasnt really listening until they mentioned Nate and Darby. And I dont even want to get into that. I just wanted to kill myself so badly. But Emmy wouldnt let me, and she will murder me if I ever cut or do any other form of self-harm again. So Im not going to. Even if I really want to. But anyway. Sorry for droning on and on about him. He just I thought I meant something to him, but he proved me wrong. But I was not going to let him know how much it really hurt.

I guess I should answer him back now. He texted me back about five minutes ago. And again three minutes ago. And then again, just now. --------------------------------------------------------------<3: Uggghh. Alright. --------------------------------------------------------------Even a simple text like that has the ability to make me tingle with delight and ache with agony. (Hobo: Gurl, you got it bad. Me: ..And you are?) Should I text him back? I wanted to. I wanted be like, Well, anyway, whats up? Anything. I just didnt want him to stop texting me. But I knew hed be fine not texting me. Well, I should read the other messages first. Okay, the second one: --------------------------------------------------------------<3: Okay, she really wants to know, Maggie, what we had a fight about. She wont stop asking me, sowhat should I tell her? Still nothing? That it was just a fight? --------------------------------------------------------------Ugghh. The way he texts with grammar! Normally, the way I text is horrible, but when I text him, I try so hard to make it look good. And he says my name when he texts me. Its just nice. Okay, and the next one. --------------------------------------------------------------<3: MAAAGGGGGIIIEEEEE!!!! She wont stop asking. She really wants to know. --------------------------------------------------------------And now I will answer him. --------------------------------------------------------------Me: UhhhhI dont know. Just tell her it was over something stupid, and escalated to more, which

is why I eventually started crying. --------------------------------------------------------------And, uhm, I actually did fix his phone. Well, bought him a new one his old one was done yes, with my own money. I, uh, snuck into his room, around nine or something this morning. He wasnt in his room, so I just left it there. Shh. Dont tell him. (Hobo: Youre fucking crazy. Me: Do I know you? Author: And hey, lets see what Emmys thinking right now. Me: What? Author: BYE.)

Emmys View of Things.

Nates an asshole. (Author: And I think were done here NAH. Im kidding. Lets just see.) How could he hurt her like that? Why wont either of them tell me what they were fighting about? Its starting to piss me off. A lot. I need to know what he did, what he said to her. She really liked him, ya know. Ive never seen her cry so much over anything. Not even when dad told her we might have to put Mugz down. (Hes a really old dog, doesnt move much. Just lays around. And eating 89% of a phone didnt help much.) Weve had him since he was a puppy. She loves that dog so much. And phone buzzes. I looked away from the TV and picked my phone up off my bed, reading the response. --------------------------------------------------------------Nathan: Whatever, Emmy. It was just a fight. Nothing to explain. --------------------------------------------------------------NOTHING TO EXPLAIN? Theres a lot to explain. She was crying for hours and I should be texting this to him. I angrily hit reply. --------------------------------------------------------------Me: (1/2) NOTHING TO EXPLAIN? Theres a lot to explain. She was crying for hours. Do you know how

much she liked you? A LOT. It nearly killed her when you guys broke up. (2/2) She was depressed for days. And coming home to her bawling her eyes out nearly killed me. Im just trying to keep her from hurting herself again. And I just need to know what you did, because she wont tell me, and I need you to, so maybe then she will talk to me about it. So just tell me. Please? --------------------------------------------------------------I just really wanted to know. I was about to just go into Maggies room, pretending like Nate told me everything. Maybe shell believe me and start talking about it. Doubt it, but I really wanted to. Ill just wait for him to answer me. If he just says it was just a fight, and doesnt tell me, I will go in there, and make her tell me. I just need to know if it was really a big deal or not. You never know with Maggie. She can have the biggest fight in the world with someone and either bawl her eyes out for days on end, or it wont even affect her. Same way if it was a little fight. So you never know, and I always try to get as many details as I can about it and I dont know. He just needs to tell me. And we get a reply. And looks as though I pissed him off. --------------------------------------------------------------Nathan: (1/3) THERE YOU GO AGAIN. What YOU did. Why does everyone assume its just my fault? Not everything I do is wrong, you know. It wasnt just me. Maggie had a lot to do ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Nathan: (2/3) with it. You need to accept that shes not perfect. And what happens between me and Maggie is OUR business. Not yours. If she really wants you to know, shell ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Nathan: (2) tell you, so until then, FUCK OFF.

--------------------------------------------------------------Well, looks like hes not going to tell me. I just texted back Fine. Im gonna just ask Maggie. But hes right. I guess. If she really wanted me to know, she wouldve told me by now. But I really want to know. NO. Shell tell me when she wants. But I wanna know. THATS IT. I got up, running out my door, across the hall to Maggies room. Shes going to tell me. Her door was shut so I barged in. She was sitting on her bed, staring down at her phone. Her TV was on, but she wasnt watching it. When her door slammed against the wall with a loud *BANG!* she jumped, turning to me. EMMY! she shrieked. Jesus Christ. You scared the hell out of me! Tell me. I demanded, hands on my hips. She just stared at me, and then jerked her head back down. No. If you want to know so bad, ask Nate. I did! He wont tell me, so I need you to. She huffed, annoyed. You dont need to know everything, you know. YES, I DO! I hopped down on her bed, grabbing her wrists, making her drop her phone. And I begged, Please, Maggie! I need to know so I can help you. Thats all Im doing. Im trying to help. Just please! I dropped my head into her lap. And her phone lit up as it buzzed. I jerked my head up with a scowl. Youre texting Nate! Did you tell him not to tell me?! She shoved me off her bed. Yeah, that hurt. No, Emmy. She grabbed her phone, texting him back. But I shot up, and grabbed her phone from her. Wha EMMY! She jerked it back. And we started playing tug-of-war with her phone. NO, MAGGIE! TELL ME FIRST, AND THEN ILL LET GO! NO! MAGGIE!

NO!!! she screeched, yanking it from me, sitting on it. She crossed her arms, looking down again. I heard her sniffle. I sighed, hands on my hips again. It looked like she was about to cry, but she held it in. Maggie, I sighed again and then sat down. She opened her mouth to say, HeHe I cant believe he -And she loves him. Who? Darby? I kind of guessed she might have, but which is why I kept pushing him to date her after him and Maggie broke up. I knew Darby liked him and that he liked her. (Nate: WHAT NO, I DONT. Me: Yeah, ya do. Dont deny it. Nate: ) Plus, I knew then, Maggie would have to let him go and get over him. After I force her to, because she wont do it on her own. No! she growled. But probably. I hate her. Then who? I pressed, dying to know. She grimaced. Ashley. Who? Then somehow she got an even darker look on her face. He fucked her. He fucked Darby, too. HOLY SHIT. But You dont know that. Just because people were talking about it doesnt mean its true. Its probably just a rumor. No. She shook her head. He told me. WHAT. HE TOLD HER THAT HE MIGHT HAVE SLEPT WITH DARBY? Maggie obviously doesnt like Darby as is. That wont make it any better. She got that helpless look in her eyes again. She looked up at me, mascara ruined, running down her cheeks. She loves him. Thats why she broke up with Colton DARBY WAS DATING COLTON? No, you idiot! she snapped. ASHLEY. ASHLEY LOVES NATE?! Even though I have no idea who Ashley isIm guessing Coltons exgirlfriend. She glared. YES. Keep up or Im done telling you. Okay, okay. Geez. Go on. She grimaced again, trying not to cry. I should have made him go with me. Not her. Then wed still be together. Hed still be mine like he should be. But he just had to go with her! That should be me he wouldve fucked me. Not her. Me.

I sighed. Its time to get harsh. Maggie, no. You need to stop. Its been two months. Its over now and you need to get over it. We all knew it wasnt going anywhere. Hes done with you and has obviously moved on. Why cant you? Because! she cried. I had sex with him, Emmy! YOU WHAT? I let him be my first everything. And I I just Its not fair! He was just able to move on so quickly after everything. He just forgot everything I didnt mean anything to him, and its not fair! She finally dropped her head onto my shoulder and cried even harder now. Oh lord, oh lord, oh lord. She - I cant believe her. She gave it up to him. No wonder shes all crazy right now. But they werent dating for that long. Thats just not like her. So she mustve really, really, really, REEEAAALLLYY liked him. Well, Ive known that shes had a little crush on him for quite some time now, and she was so ecstatic when they started dating just talking, even! Butstill. This is crazy. Although, I read this article it was a really long time ago but it was all like, It only takes four weeks to get over a relationship. If it takes you any longer, you may be in love, blah blah. ITS BEEN ALMOST TWO MONTHS NOW. She might love him. And I also read that if you talk about someone a lot, youll get a greater chance of falling in love with them she talks about him all the time, has since she first saw him. But shes only fifteen could she really love him? But I wasnt going to let her know what I thought about this. I just said, Wow. You mustve really liked him, huh? She just nodded. Poor Maggie. :(

And back we go to Nate.

To: Me From: Em-mah-lee --------------------------------------------------------------Fine. --------------------------------------------------------------I shouldnt have texted Maggie. This is the stupidest thing ever. But now shes not answering me back. She usually does. Its been like seven minutes. She always tries to keep the conversation going. Oh, btw. We went home. It started raining. But Im sitting in the middle of my old, empty room. Did you really expect me to go back into my new, haunted room? Hell no. And I just cant get over my phone. HOW IS IT HERE RIGHT NOW?

And Maggie texts me back on my demon phone. To: Me From: Magzilla --------------------------------------------------------------I hate Emmy so muchaopqd[0QEI9QWPFUJASC MZMCskjadn::dnm;oPJQn:D,;D .CKKCN;O )0io;pj;lnc?/////da0-0ujoOupojLnknxlNcLIshdai cnlcn c c bxn l --------------------------------------------------------------What? I didnt even answer. I mean, what do I say back to that? But I swear if Maggie tells Emmy that will not end well for me. But, I mean, its not really all my fault. We werent dating at the time, so why is she getting all pissy about it? Its not like we were going to be together forever, so she can just get over it. I did. Though, not gonna lie, Im not completely over it. I mean, Im not a complete emotionless asshole. I kinda did like Maggie. She was a pretty cool chick, and I liked hanging out with her, but it was a high school relationship that only happened because Im horny 24/7 and cant always take care of it myself. It wasnt built to last. And this is a really long paragraph, so. There. And because I have the worst hormones in the world, were never going to date again. I helped Ashley cheat, whos to say I wont cheat on Maggie? Or anyone else, for that matter. jfc. Sex would be great right now SEE I TOLD YOU. WORST. HORMONES. EVER. Always horny at the worst time ever. Maybe I should call Ashley NO. I swear something is wrong with me. Besides the obvious.

-- Chapter Eleven
Guess whaaaat. Im having sex right now. And youre not. Sucks for you! But dont ask with who because I dont know. Just, uhm, some chick. Idk. But it is going grrreeeaatt.

Well, Im about to. She still gots her undies on. Lets just get those off. Okay. YAY. And.Alrighty. Its in. Officially sex. Woo. Ah, man. My dick it beautiful. You, lady I dont know, are one lucky slut. IM OPTIMUS PRIME, MUTHAFUKKA. Do do doooo. JACKHAMMER, BITCH. If you dont understand what Im referencing to, then, oh well. Youre missing out. Maggie suddenly popped into my head. Why? I have no idea. . . . This sex just got awkward.. I miss Maggie. :((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( I dont know why, but I just do. So much. </3 Alrighty, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnddddddd x-amount of minutes later, sex done. Im going home. Alrighty. Just chillin on mah couch. Doing something really lame. ImIm being such a girl right now. Imgoing through our old messages on the book of faces and my phone. Maggie and Is messages, I mean. Okay, heres a weird conversation we had likea while ago: To: Magzilla From: Me --------------------------------------------------------------hey fucker. --------------------------------------------------------------To: Me From: Magzilla --------------------------------------------------------------HEY BABY<33333 --------------------------------------------------------------To: Magzilla

From: Me --------------------------------------------------------------no. --------------------------------------------------------------To: Me From: Magzilla --------------------------------------------------------------Lol, yeahhhhhhh. You know you like it when I call you baby. YOU CANT DENY IT!!! --------------------------------------------------------------To: Magzilla From: Me --------------------------------------------------------------.fine. It does make me feel sexy. --------------------------------------------------------------To: Me From: Magzilla --------------------------------------------------------------SUCCESS! :D --------------------------------------------------------------To: Magzilla From: Me --------------------------------------------------------------:P So.looking forward to walking to school tomorrow? :) --------------------------------------------------------------(Because Emmy wasnt going to school, so she couldnt take her.) To: Me From: Magzilla --------------------------------------------------------------Shut up. --------------------------------------------------------------To: Magzilla From: Me ---------------------------------------------------------------

So youre MOST DEF looking forward to it? I would be too butI ride the bus --------------------------------------------------------------To: Me From: Magzilla --------------------------------------------------------------Haha, your soooooooo funny! --------------------------------------------------------------(I really wanted to correct her, but I dont know. Just didnt.) To: Magzilla From: Me --------------------------------------------------------------Im sure Id be more funny if I walked to school --------------------------------------------------------------To: Me From: Magzilla --------------------------------------------------------------I hope you miss the bus tomorrow and have to walk. :P --------------------------------------------------------------To: Magzilla From: Me --------------------------------------------------------------Hahahaha. Yeah, wellYOURE PRETTY. --------------------------------------------------------------And she was like, I know(; and then eventually she said: To: Me From: Magzilla --------------------------------------------------------------lawlz. You should come over. (((: --------------------------------------------------------------To: Magzilla From: Me ---------------------------------------------------------------

HA. Blunt much? ;) But, yeahI should.but.oh dear, it looks as though Im already in my pajamas. AND ARENT YOU GROUNDED? --------------------------------------------------------------To: Me From: Magzilla --------------------------------------------------------------Sooooooooooooooooo? Daddy can get over it. Ill tell him Im having Nate-withdrawls. Hell understand. --------------------------------------------------------------To: Magzilla From: Me --------------------------------------------------------------HAHAHAHAHA. MAGGIE! Seems legit. TOTALLY! --------------------------------------------------------------To: Me From: Magzilla --------------------------------------------------------------:DDDD Soooo.you should come, pwease ! Over, that is. ;)))) --------------------------------------------------------------To: Magzilla From: Me --------------------------------------------------------------oh bby. ;) Ehhhh.Ill ask. Butlike a sleep over thing or just hang out? --------------------------------------------------------------To: Me From: Magzilla --------------------------------------------------------------Sleep over, duh. ---------------------------------------------------------------

And I was like, OKAY!!!!!!! and yeah. I went over to her house and we did her homework...seriously. Eh, Facebook now. And we go to Maggie DeBellas page and awh dear lord. She uploaded a picture about five hours ago, and shes just making the cutest face ever I call it her oblivious-blonde face. But the caption, though: Miss you. -_- That better be about her dumb dog that might die soon. Or is already dead. I dont know. Its been a few days since we last talked. And another status, also a number of hours ago: Please tell me what i'm doing wrong? Maggiieeee, stoooooppp! :( le sigh. .aw jeez. Heres a status from last Saturday night, after Maggie, me, and Emmy got into that big text fight:
Maggie Debella You're over me. We're over. I'm trying to get over you. Like Comment 10 December 2011 at 19:49 via Mobile

2 people like this.

And we skip over some useless people I dont care about, and la la laaa.more sad statusesmore people idgaf aboutsad, sadtruth is, blah blahsaaaddddcute picture of her, aw..more people..sad statusand FINALLY. Her status, November 11: I like big cock in my mouth. Five people liked it. I commented, Nates cock, that is. and those same five people, plus Margret, liked it. Yes, November. We broke up in October, but we were still awkward friends. And heres somethin else.
Maggie Debella I hate my life. Idgaf Like Comment 23 October 2011 at 23:15 via Mobile

When we had that, uh, fight. But, uh, heres something happier.

Nate Sharits I'm nuts 4 you... Like Comment 18 October 2011 at 17:50 via Mobile

Maggie Debella Golly Nathan. I would of never knew.. 18 October 2011 at 18:05 Like

And some status about Emmy, how much Maggie wants pizza, I love you, la la, and heres another thing.
Maggie Debella I'm not perfect. Youre not perfect. We're perfect. Together. Like Comment 17 October 2011 at 23:18 via Mobile

Some bitch idk, Some other chick and 3 others like this.

some post from some chick I dont know..another one. Song lyrics. And status about October fifteenth. You remember what happened that day, right? *sigh*
Maggie Debella oh my fucking god. BEST DAY EVER. ily<3 Like Comment 15 October 2011 at 16:35

3 people like this.

Nate Sharits You would make a status about it. 15 October 2011 at 18:01 Like Maggie DeBella <3(: 15 October 2011 at 18:08 Like

And this was when I made the mistake of giving her my phone. I have an app for Facebook and I never log out. And she went on and made my status this:
Nate Sharits I just love Maggie DeBella so fucking much. I honestly dont know what Id do without her. She makes my day complete and I want to marry her. God. Shes so beautiful. I honestly think well be together forever. I love you baby. <3333333 Like Comment 07 October 2011 at 13:00

Maggies friend, Some cool dude, Maggie DeBella, MY MOM, and 7 other friends of Maggie like this.

Maggie DeBella Oh gosh Nate. This is so sweet. I love you too. :) 07 October 2011 at 13:02 *little thumbs up icon*11

Nate Sharits Fuck off, Maggie. 07 October 2011 at 18:04 *little thumbs up icon here, too*12

Ughh. Okay, Im done. I need to stop Im honestly about to be shooting waterfalls out my eyes. Gaaaaaahhhh. Im turning into such a girl. But but I miss heerrrrr! WHATS WRONG WITH ME?!!?!?!?! Why do I have to care now? The front door suddenly opened and in walked mom. What the fu where have you been? I questioned madly like a good parent. (Its like in the AMs now.) She looked at me, rather surprised, but shut the door behind her, and took her time taking off her coat, then laid it on the couch. After looking down at her hands, she finally answered me with, What are you doing up this late? Christmas break, mother. I reminded her, in a smartass-tone. Obviously. Oh, right, right. YuP. P is capitalized because I made it *pop*. Answer me. I demanded. Just out. she said, simply, arms getting crossed over her chest.

Oh, Im sure. That answer wouldnt work from me, so why should it be any different from you? I looked at her expectantly, but she just stared down at the ground. We got a guilty one here. Shes never just out. Probably with someone, that was not my dad. Well, okay, theyve been having problems lately, as you may have already guessed. Theyre never home at the same time anymore. But honestly, I dont even know where he is now. I dont even think hes home. Hes never home, so I dont see why shes been out all night if hes not even here to avoid. She groaned at me, pushing her fingertips to her temples. Because, Nate, Im an adult. Im allowed to be out late, and I wont be brought home by the cops, unlike someone. I scoffed, rather unimpressed with her response. That doesnt mean shit. Just because youre an adult doesnt always give you an excuse. And I have never been caught by the cops; I believe youre thinking of Colton this time. Perhaps the only time you think of him. Again, she scowled at me. She opened her mouth for a protest, but shut it, and after a few seconds she sighed. She sat down on the arm of the couch and sighed loudly again into her hands. Eh, okay. I guess Ill ask. Are you and dad okay? And AGAIN, she sighed. No, she answered honestly. At least, Im guessing honestly. I mean, how would I know? But that made me frown. Whats up? I dont know. Just things are different now, is all. Wasnt a lengthy explanation but it was enough. I nodded, letting her know I understood. Yeah, I get it. You wanna talk about it? More? She looked up from her hands, and smiled warmly. She patted my hand. No, but thank you. I think I have some Bob left; gonna drink that and pass the fuck out. Bobs a Bob Marley, b t w. You know the drink. I started to smile, laugh even, but then, leaning forward a bit, she focused her eyes on my face and frowned. Honey, are you okay? What wrong? She actually sounded proper worried. I dont know why, but my heart skipped about fifty beats. Yeah, Im finewhy?

She shook her head, running her fingers through my hair, her thumb grazing under my eyes. No, youre were you crying? Whats wrong? Tell me. oh god please - I WAS CRYING? I imminently jerked my head away from her and looked down. NO. I wasnt. A tear dripped off my chin right then, but I wiped it away. Why? Was I really crying? wtf. She scooted herself until she was practically on top of me, and cupped my face. OH, HONEY!!! She yanked me into a hug. My face was shoved into her tits. MY BABY! MY SWEET BABY BOY! OH, GOSH. TELL ME WHATS WRONG! oh lord. Shes such a mom. Should I tell her? I mean, the last time I tried to tell her about me and Maggie, she flipped out on me. Shell probably be like, WELL, YOU SHOULDNT HAVE FUCKED IT UP WITH HER AND MAYBE SHED STILL BE HERE, YOU DUMBASS! because she totally would. She went on, blabbering and begging me to tell her for what seemed like forever until I was finally like, OKAY! and yanked myself away again, because I dont feel right, talking about another woman while getting to second base with my mom. Just you gotta promise you wont flip out on me and start yelling and make me feel shittier than I already do. Apparently offended by this, she gasped, and began flipping out on me. WHAT I dont do that! You ask for my opinion and I simply give it - I NEVER ask for your opinion! I interrupted. I ask for your help; what I should do whats best for me, not you. Well, that basically is the same as asking for her opinion, but if I say it in a hurtful, well-thought out way, shell think Im right. And you just go on and on, yelling at me, making me hate myself more and more; just blabbering about I fucked it up when its obviously not just me. Im not the only person in the world who has problems and makes mistakes. Its not just me! So if thats all youre going to do, then Im not telling you. She sat there, taking all that in. Then she sighed. Youre right. IIm sorry. I just I sighed loudly, rolling my eyes, hoping shed understand that I didnt really want to hear her excuse. She mustve because she stopped mid-sentence, and sighed, too. Right. Go on. I sighed again and just said, Maggie. What about her?

I-I I looked down, because it felt weird saying this. I miss her. I looked back up at her. She narrowed her eyes at me, not in a demeaning, patronizing way, but like she was debating on what to say. She motioned for me to go on. And Im not really sure why all of a sudden. I mean, I was fine before, didnt really I guess care, in a way, but I do now. A lot. Obviously enough to start crying. And - *le sigh* - I dont know. Were you just thinking about her or talking to her? I shook my head. No. I was -- Ugh. Im gonna sound like a big, girly freak, but I was, uhm, going through our old messages, and her Facebook, andI miss her. And I dont like it. At all. This caring stuff feelings sucks ass. She somewhat laughed at that, but when I didnt she stopped. Im sorry, honey. I shrugged. Its fine. I just *drops head in hands* God, I feel so stupid. She let out a whimper and put her hand on my knee and where the fuck are my pants? Are you kidding me? She noticed I was pants-less, too. Her eyes widened as she stared at me. Nathan. Where are your pants? I, uh, THINK! This is my home, right? Its normal for me to walk aroundpants-less, right? She took a second, but nodded. Uh, yeah. I guess so. Perfectly normal. Then yeah. I just took them off, andyeah, forgot, or else I wouldve put some on when you came home yeah. yeAh. Oh, okaywell, are you okay? Then she got even more serious. She forced me to look at her and she asked seriously, Youre not going to hurt yourself, are you? I wanted to hit her. I hate when she asks me that. Always. Whenever somethings wrong with me, after she yells at me, degrades me down to a numb and steps and stomps on me, sometimes dances the Macarena, she has the nerve to ask if Im okay; if Im going to hurt myself later. Shes uggghhh, you know? Cant say I wont try.

She swallowed rather loudly, but nodded. Okay. She finally stood up. She was about to walk away, I think, but turned back to me. If it means anything, I dont want you to. Then dont leave me alone, because I will. But without a response from me, she turned away again, and walked down the hall to her room, leaving me there. I wanted to scream at her, and beg her to not leave me, actually afraid of what I might do alone. Im doing it. And Im going to make it hurt make it worth it. Before I knew it I was in the kitchen, standing in front of the knife drawer. I dont even remember getting up, walking in here. The drawer was suddenly open and a steak knife was in my hand, my left sleeve rolled up. I took the tip and slowly glided it over my wrist, not hard enough for a cut. I angled it so it was flat against my wrist and pushed down, and yanked it back. I could honestly hear the skin ripping. It was odd. A long rigid cut. I dont know how deep. My head was spinning. I felt dizzy, lightheaded. Sleepy. Good. Then, suddenly, a quick jab. I just stabbed it into my arm. Went in about a centimeter or so, maybe. Wasnt even bleeding yet. Or mightve been. I dont know. I do know that I felt so much better and that scared me, but it such a familiar, nice feeling, I didnt care. A fast yank and it was out of my arm and my sleeve was back down. The knife dropped out of my hand, clattering on the ground. Didnt feel like picking it up, so I just left it there. My arm, ah, tingled and stung but it was a nice feeling. I wanted to fall back down on the couch and sleep, but no, fuck it. Im doing it. I actually threw my laptop on the ground, and laid down and eventually fell asleep. It would be nice if I didnt wake up tomorrow.

-- Chapter Twelve

*BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!! MOTHAFUKKA!!!!!!! BUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!* My phone is such an asshole. Always bitching in my ear like a little bitch.

WAKE

UP

I couldve sworn I already dismissed my alarm at 5:00am, 5:30am, and 6:00am when it usually wakes me up on a school morning. BUT APPARENTLY NOT! And it was right under my head, too. But I ignored it and tried to sleep again, but the little fucker, it did it again. I was ready to chuck it. Ehhh. I dont feel like moving. I havent even opened my eyes yet, not since six when it last went off. I dont even know what time it is now. *phone buzzes again* OKAY, WHO THE FUCK LIKE HONESTLY. I was just about to prepare my body for moving when I felt something lick my left hand. I flicked my fingers at whatever it was and groaned. It stopped for a second and then did it again. I think thats Chubbs, probably. He always does that. It started again, and a few seconds later, another tongue joined. ( O ________________ 0 ) One of them stopped and there was a giggle. Then it started again. Really wanting to know what the fuck was going on, my eyes shot open and I moved my head over the edge of the couch. ..wow. I stared down at Tilly and Chubbs. Tilly had stopped licking my hand and giggled up at me. Chubbs was still going at it. Uhhhhhhmmmm..? What the fuck, Till? She giggled again, and shrugged over exaggeratedly. I dunno! She licked my hand again. I decided thats probably not gonna form into a good habit, so I yanked my hand away from them, and immediately regretted it. Sharpest pain the human body should never experience. Oh my fucking god. I almost started crying. WHAT DID I DO?!?!?!!?

Tilly saw this and hopped up. *little girl voice* NATE! WATS WONG!? OH, AW YEW OKAY? Fantastic. OKAY! she continued to scream, coming into acceptance, believing that I was actually fantastic, and bolted out of the living room with Chubbs following behind AND OH MY GOD, SO MUCH BLOOD. IM DYING. DYING. IM DEAD. IM ALIVE BUT IM DEAD. It was grody AF, but I couldnt look away my arm, I mean. It was sickly cool. My wrist was at that oddly beginning scab; my forearm was just an abnormally shaped oval, I guess, and it wasnt anywhere close to scabbing. It was kinda watery. But cool. .Im weird. One of the reason I like self-harm is because I like scars and the whole scabbing process. And it helps get frustrations out. Its like the one time Im in control of what happens to me. Its strangely comforting that I could take it a bit too far and end it all. Im not only one who thinks like that, am I? My stupid phone buzzed again meaning I had some unread messages. Or some new ones. I should check those. But when I went to lift myself up, with my arm, I couldnt. I tried and legit fell on my face. It hurt way too much to do anything; to move it. So I just grabbed it with my right hand and rolled over onto my side. Okay, lets see here Cha-Cha (two messages; just weather) like fifty messages from Maggie, and yay, one from Darby. According to Cha-Cha, at 6:04am, it was fifty-eight degrees, and at 7:14am, it was sixty-two degrees. Cool. Its unnaturally warm for December. It hasnt even snowed yet, like at least a lot; not enough for a snow day, Ill tell ya that. Okay, Im gonna read Maggies first, but probably answer Darby first. To: Me From: Magzilla ---------------------------------------------------------------

We have to put Mugz down. :( --------------------------------------------------------------:( But that wasnt her only message. Apparently she sent that at like eight this morning. And then at 9:23: To: Me From: Magzilla --------------------------------------------------------------Nate, please, I need someone to talk to. --------------------------------------------------------------Then she tried calling me. Its almost eleven now. Oh, lord, I FEEL SO BAD! Im answering her first, definitely. To: Magzilla From: Me ---------------------------------------OH MY GOD, MAGGIE. I AM SO SORRY. I didnt go to bed until like 5 this morning. But ANYWAY. :( WHY? ---------------------------------------That took for freakin ever to text with one hand, but we sadly send. Okay, onto Darby. To: Me From: Broskii[: --------------------------------------------------------------NAAAAAAAAATTEEEEEEEEE<333 hey. (: Whats up? --------------------------------------------------------------To: Broskii[: From: Me --------------------------------------------------------------DAAARRRBBBYYYY<333 hi, uhh, I just woke up to get this Tilly licking my hand. WEIRD. And yourself? ---------------------------------------------------------------

SEEENNDDDDDDD. I laid there poking at my arm for a few minutes until I got a text back. From Maggie. To: Me From: Magzilla --------------------------------------------------------------Its okay. Dad said hes getting old, like really old, and hes in a lot of pain from when he got by that car, and bunch of other stuff. Were going to do it Thursday. Can you please go with me? I really need you there. I feel like Im dying, Nate. --------------------------------------------------------------To: Magzilla From: Me ---------------------------------------OH HONEY OF COURSE ILL GO! ): What time? ---------------------------------------Poor Maggie. Apparently shes already depressed like really; used to cut and everything. She has this big, like, V thing on her wrist. I was there when she did it. She tells people she was cutting a bracelet off her arm because it got too small, wasnt paying attention, and cut herself. LIE. She was totally paying attention. It was in Davis class, about a day or two later if our fight about Halloween; Mr. Davis was teaching and I was somewhat paying attention. Halfway through the class Maggie asked for a pair of scissors to cut some flash cards up, but she did not use it for that. I looked over the exact moment she did it. There was blood everywhere, but she had sleeves and a (MY) big hoodie with extra-long sleeves so no one else noticed until sometime after when she had her sleeves rolled up. This really loud and obnoxious girl saw and called her out on it. She shrieked, Oh my God! Maggie! What happened?! Rather loud and obnoxious, if you ask me. Everyone looked at her, and then at her wrist. *Loud gasps everywhere*

I actually felt horrible for Maggie. She just looked so helpless and embarrassed. She told everyone well, what I told you she told everyone, and Mr. Davis sent her to the nurse, tried. Maggie flipped out on him, and just told him shed rather go to the bathroom instead to clean it up. He insisted shed go to the nurse, but she refused, and eventually he allowed her to go to the bathroom. She was in there for the rest of the class. . anyway. Her dog dying probably isnt keeping her sane. I think thats another reason we got along so well because we both did the whole self-harm-y thing, and, well, we both cool as fuck. Oop. Got a text back (Author: And I really dont feel like copying and pasting the text message thing again, because Im lazy so well just do it like this) It was from Darby. Broskii[:: WHATTA CREEP! I woke up at like seven of course. Im with my mom and she is totally kissing my ass right now. Only been with her for twenty minutes and shes already bought me like fifty new clothes, and is offering to buy us tickets to Warped. Wanna go? :) Her mom is totally kissing her ass right now because she (her mom) kinda abandoned Darby and her brother and I guess her dad when they were like, I dont know, some age, and now shes trying to buy Darbys love and it always works out wonderfully for both of us obvs I mean, WE COULD BE GOING TO WARPED TOUR THIS SUMMER. IM STOKED. Me: FUCK YES. OH MY GOD. WHY WOULD EVEN ASK A DUMB QUESTION LIKE THAT. Maggie answered me back, btw. Magzilla: I dont know yet. I think sometime after or around ten. Ill have to ask my dad again. Me: Okay.uh *awkward subject change* Wazzup girly? Well, I dont want to keep talking about all that depression causing stuff. And I lay there until I get a responding text.

Magzilla: I asked him. He said 10:15, so we can come get you at 9:30-ish. And hahahahaha, well, Nathan, nm. Watching this Must Love Cats show. I think thats what its called anyway. The host is COOT. and he sings like every five minutes omg his voice. ;) And you? Me: LOL MAGGIE LOL (Me: I dont really ever use lol like ever I kinda use it as a joke, I guess. In a mocking wayI dont know.) YOU WOULD. I think Ive seen that show, though. Uhhh.Im laying here. Nothing really. Justlaying. ehhhh. Oh, and okay. And I told her about Tilly licking me and we texted until we ran out of things to talk about and one of us me just stopped answering back. But anyway, Darby answered me, and we texted untiluhshe went to bed at like twelve that night.yup. WELL, I never run out of things to talk about with Darby. We dont really have conversations; its mostly just things like: Her: Ew, I just threw up in my mouth. D: Me: God, Darby. y u so sexy?!?? Her: Genetics. ;) Me: no. Her: YEESSSS. Golly, Im so happy right now, N8. (She was referring to how she blackmailed her mom into letting her get a tattoo for her 17th birthdaylong story and I already waste enough of your time.) Me: No. Stop. Youre a horrible person. Youre going to Hades. Her: I DIDNT MEAN TO DROP THE SPIRIT STICK! I SWEAR!!!! (Author: Bring It On, anyone?) But hey, Ill see you there. ;) Me: hahaahahaha. IM SURE. And of course. Bunk buddies, right? Her: of course, bby. And Colton will be joining us, right? Me: FUCK OFF. Her: Neveerrrr. Me: Whatevs. Me again: Hey, McFaggle, whats that one thing called? That weighs you?

Me again, again: nvm. My mom just told me. Its a scale. Her: Are dumb. Me: Yes, are dumb. Her: Shut uuupppp!!! Me: Naaahh..wow. I just told my mom that our scale is broken and she was like, Well, if you stopped eating you wouldnt have broke it with your fat ass. And now she just going on and on about how Im getting fat. What is this, like the fourth time today? Imma deck this bitch. Her: WOW. Yet youre nowhere near fat? wtf? Do it, man. Just one quick hit. Im rooting for you, bro. I believe in you, you skinny-ripped motherfucker. Me: Aww, thanks man. Youre too sweet. <3 But I swear, one day I will. You better support me in court. Her: Oh, no duh I will. I got yo back, n-word-but-to-make-it-more-acceptable-I-will-replacethe-er-with-a. Me: says the real n-word-but-to-make-it-more-acceptable-I-will-replace-the-er-with-a. Her: WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!?!?!??!?? >:O Me: I love youuuuuu. Her: Thats what I thought, BITCH. Me: lmfao, Darby. lmfao. Okay, that was actually kind of a conversation, but I thought it was funny and just wanted you to read it, too. But our real convos dont make any sense. At all. Its all just inside jokes, nothing really translatable by the outside world. But yeah. I love her. <3 And just to make things more interesting quicker I COMMAND THEE TO FASTFORWARD TO THURSDAY MORNING. And of course, I made the mistake of going off to a party to get laid and stayed out til like three and then finally came home and crashed on the couch. Oh and my arm still grody as can be. Its kind of got a scab a green, liquidy one. But I put Neosporin on it and big band-aide.

Anyway I woke up in my bed grumbling. I sat up, yawned, scratched my head, got off the bed and wondered why I was still wearing my clothes because I usually sleep in pajamas (aka NUDE. jkjk boxers and shirt)...Then I remembered. FUCK YEAH. SEEXXXXXX. I ran around the room, celebrating. YAY, YAY, YAAAAYYY, EVERYONE, YAY!! Well, now that I got that out of the way. My neck hurt. A lot. I probably laid on it wrong or something. ha. laid. My arm surprisingly doesnt hurt. Kind of numb. Either that means I slept on it or I have some nerve damage going on.were going with its asleep. I picked my phone up off my bed and turned off the alarm for the 690,000,000th time this morning, and decided to check the time. 9:26am ...I feel like I'm forgetting something...Something important... I shrugged it off and jumped into the shower. Without waiting for it to warm up. "HOLY MOTHER OF - OH MY GOD!" So it wasn't that cold at all. Just as it was warming up, my mother knocked on the door. "WHAT?!" I screamed. "MAGGIES AT THE DOOR!" I shriek and fall out of the shower, tearing the curtain down with me. "JUST A MINUTE!!" Holy crap holy crap holy crap holy crap. I can't believe I forgot! GAH. I stumbled into my room, cold and naked. Clothes! I need clothes! I opened my drawer so hard it fell out of the dresser. "OH SERIOUSLY - COME ON!" ARE YOU OKAY, NATE?" "YEAH MOM!!" I threw clothing everywhere. I got my whitey-tighties on I, I, I mean, MANLY BOXERS with SNAKES and GUNS and DRUGS and, and SEMEN all over them MY SEMEN. I

grabbed a random pair of pants which I am more than sure Ive worn so far almost every day this week. When I tried to put them on I fell over. I grunted and got up; I reached in my closet and pulled out whatever came out. A blue shirt with Spock on it, him saying Trek yourself before you wreck yourself, and he was doing the live-long-and-prosper thing, which I cant do, by the way. I fail at everything, I swear. I put on a load of deodorant...Hair! Hair! What about hair? OH WHO CARES? I never do anything to it; it never cooperates anyway so I dont even bother. Plus it kind of adds to this whole Im a crazy motherfucker; talk to me and Ill spew acid all over you type of thing I already got going on yet no one seems to pay attention to because they still try to talk to me. I grabbed my phone which wasnt charging at all last night, and its an Android, suckiest battery life ever. It was already at 61% -- I threw it in my pocket, slung my backpack over my shoulder, quickly realized I didnt need my bag, chucked it back onto my bed and ran. "I'M REA-" I tripped over the rug and landed face first onto the carpet. I was facing a pair of Toms. I looked up. Maggie was smirking like an evil bitch. Her eyes, formally red from crying, were gleaming with delight. Her cheeks, slightly wet, looked like they were about to fall off her face of she smiled any bigger. She bursted out laughing, kneeling over, pointing at me, still lying on the ground. HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHA, NATE! OH MY GOD! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!! I jumped up, defensive. HEY, HEY, MAGGIE. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU! I got in her face. HAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA! Fake laugh if you couldnt tell. She had stopped laughing when I said the first fuck you, but as soon as I finished, she stared at me, failing at holding back her grin, and started laughing again. It lasted a few seconds before she finally stopped a bit, enough to pat me on the shoulder and properly thank me, Oh my Gosh, Nate. That was sooooo funny. I really needed that. Thanks. And she began descending back down the hall to the stairs. And then down them she went. ..well.. I composed myself before following her. I gave my mom a hug, told her where I was going because I failed to mention it to her for the past three days or however many days ago Monday was, and after watching her hug Maggie for about ten minutes, I reminded both of them that the, uh, appointment, I guess, was at 10:15, and it was almost that time (lie). My mom reluctantly let go and we finally walked out to her dads truck. Mugz was sitting upfront in the passenger seat. He really didnt look good.

Finally! Sam, Maggies dad, exclaimed when Maggie opened the backseat door revealing Emmy on far left. Took you long enough. Maggie scrunched her nose at Emmy, who, need I say again, was on the far left, all the way on the other side of the truck. Emmy, scoot over Im already all the way over, Maggie! Maggie shushed her and went back to answering her dad. Yeah, sorry. Nate oh my God, Nate. She was halfway in when she started laughing, but I shoved her butt. No, Maggie. This is not story time. LETS GO. I pushed her again, telling her to go. She eventually got her booty in there, and I climbed in after. But she just had to tell everyone my embarrassing moment. She managed to drag out that .000069 second event into a grueling ten minute campfire story. She knew what she was doing. She was doing it on purpose, I know it. I was giving her the death glare the whole time, but she ignored it. I managed to tune her and everyones laughing out until, after what seemed like forever later, we arrived at the vets. Its like everyone suddenly remembered where we were, what we were here to do, because everyone stopped laughing at once. Mugz even starts whimpering a bit. Oh god. It was so sad and depressing I could cry. An odd choking sound came from my left. Maggie. She even seemed surprised by it and quickly clasped a hand over her mouth, but she couldnt quiet the gasps for air she was making. Emmys frown turned into a scowl. Oh, Maggie. Mugz started barking at Maggie, and hopped into the backseat, onto her lap, and started licking her hands. She parted them, tears streaming down her cheeks. Mugz licked her face a few times and barked again. She started to smile but couldnt and tried to hold back a loud cry as she wrapped her arms around Mugz tightly. He immediately started licking the top of her head, messing up her hair. Oh, Mugz! she cried into his neck. This isnt fair! This isnt fair! Her head shot up and she sobbed to her dad, Daddy, why? Why! Dont kill Mugz, Daddy. I need him! Please! If he dies, I die! I cant live without him, Daddy. I cant.

Oh my god. I almost started crying like a little bitch. It was just so sad! When he didnt answer her back, she let out another loud cry, No! I cant! and dug her face back into Mugz neck. It took a while but she eventually calmed down. A little. She hadnt completely stopped crying, but it wasnt as extreme as before. Checking his watch, Maggies dad sadly looked at Maggie. Mags, sweetie, he tried, putting a hand on her shoulder. Its-its almostDo you still want to go in? She didnt answer at first. I want tobutI dont think I can. He sighed. Im sorry, Maggie, butwe have to go. She shook her head, though, holding in another cry. She was still latched onto Mugz, and she didnt look like she was anywhere close to letting go. Emmy inhaled deeply, and coaxed, Come on, Maggie. Its whats best for him. It sucks, but hes in too much pain. Living hurts him too much. Its his time. I imagined my mom telling me that, if it was Chubbs, or Katrina - weve had Katrina since I was in, I think, the middle of eighth grade. IId probably somehow be crying harder than Maggie is. ngl. I wouldnt hold back; wouldnt even think about it. Oh loorrrrdddd. This I cant. Its so depressing. I dont want to talk about it anymore. In detail. This whole scene. So, yeah. When they tried to get Mugz out of the car, he wouldnt. He kept barking, like he knew this was it. Like he didnt want to leave Maggie. And it was it was just so sad, you know. But they got him out eventually. Emmy went in with their dad, and Maggie and I snuggled in the backseat like literally, snuggle - and she cried the whole time. So. Depressing. You know. And I just cant. She just wouldnt stop crying. QUICK! WHAT DO I DO TO MAKE HER FEEL BETTER? (Hobo: FUCK HER. Me: SHUT UP!!!!!!)

But anyway, couldnt think of anything to do, so I just sat there and, you know, let her bawl until, I dont know how long later, but they came back. Without Mugz. Oh god. Maggie started crying even harder, and it was so depressing. And her dad was just like, Anyone else want Dairy Queen? I do. and we went to Dairy Queen. Maggie didnt get anything, and then I felt like I shouldnt so I didnt. And we hung out for the rest of the daykind of, I guess. Well, she went straight to her room, and I didnt know if I was cool with Emmy yet, so I went with, and shes just been curled up in a ball, not even crying anymore for the past I dont know. its been a long time. D E P R E S S I N G A S F U C K . But we be snugglin, you already know. And have been for forever. omg. Same position for a really long time = I really want to turn the other way, but she seems comfortable. Were in like that spooning position. Its nice. I bet its really driving you insane. she said, eyes closed, after a number of minutes. Too bad I have no idea what youre talking about. She began to smile. This. I waited for her to continue because I honestly have no idea. Us not having sex. Like we usually are. Its gotta be making you a little buggy. Yes, yes, oh my god yes. Please, lets fuck. Nah.

She finally opened her eyes, looked over her shoulder at me for a second, smiled, and turned back around. She closed her eyes again. Oh, really now? Yup. For some reason I find that insanely hard to believe. I scoffed. Gee, thanks. She laughed. Well, Im just saying. We were quiet for a few moments, and then I sighed before finally letting it all out; what Ive been wanting to say for a really long time now. I told her, Its fine, though. Really. I dont mind. LIE! Its honestly not fair to you at all, I know. And I just dont want you to think thats the only reason I want hang out with you anymore because its not, okay? I actually do like you, okay, its just - *I sigh* - I just think were better off friends, you know? You you deserve so much better. So much. And dont you even say, Exactly, I do. You. - yaddah yaddah yah, because if you do, I swear, I am leaving now. Like legit. Well, I wouldnt want that. Who would. She sighed, but didnt say anything. uh, I win? yay. But then she just had to fucking gasp. Oh, Nate! She grabbed my left arm, jerking herself up. I was ready to knock a bitch out. I just groaned and tried to block her out. She looked wildly from my arm to me, my arm to me, over and over. Oh, gosh! Nate, why would you do that?! Oh, god, oh god, oh god! Oh, my FUCKING god, Nate! Maggie shut up. Oh, how could I shut up! This is oh lord, Nate! And she just wouldnt shut up. Wha WHY? Whyd you do that! Why would you ever do that? I clenched my jaw at that, just wanting to scream. I hate when people fucking ask that. Why? Why would you ever hurt yourself like that? Well, obviously because I fucking felt like it.

Because I felt like it. Obviously. I yanked it away from her, sitting too. And who are you to talk, Ms. Oh-silly-me-my-bracelet-was-too-small-and-I-wasnt-paying-attention! What the fuck ever, Maggie. THATS WHAT HAPPENED, NATE! she shrieked shrilly, and I mean, shrilly. UH, NO, Maggie. I snapped back in a loud, obnoxious, mocking tone. I was there, right next to you! Dont you fucking lie to me I saw you do it. Well, you saw wrong. She stuck her nose up in the air, not looking at me, stupidly confident with that answer. And besides, that was me. She was suddenly worried about me again, grabbing my arm. Not you. God, are you okay? Oh, just fantastic. Good. She held her middle finger back with her thumb before flicking my arm with it. I was ready to shove her out a window. I immediately recoiled away from her, gripping my arm, trying not to bawl my eyes out. And let the angry hurt words began. FUCK! OW, YOU BITCH. YOU FUCKING SLUT. OH MY GOD, YOU AGGGHH. GOD, IM GLAD YOUR DOGS DEAD; YOURE A FUCKING BITCH. Well, it hurt, okay. But it was like she didnt hear that. WELL, THATS WHAT YOU GET! she scolded. Dont you ever fucking do that to yourself again, Nate! I just jumped up, hands on my ears. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. BITCH, DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO! KAY, NOOOOO. THAT AINT GONNA FLY WITH ME. HELL NO FUCK. Maggie. That really hurt. Promise me youll never do it again, and we can have sex. Ooh. Good deal. FUCK no. She frowned. Why not? WHY. Why do people get so sad when I dont want to have sex with them? wtf. *over-exaggerated hand gestures* BECAUSE, MAGGIE. Ive been having sex with some proper sluts every night for the past I dont know forever, and I would like to keep you as clean as I possibly can, because, believe it or not, I dont want to ruin your life any more than I probably already have. ..WHAT. EVERY NIGHT? NATE! What did I tell you if you ever want sex, come to me; I will gladly help you!

MAGGIE, STOP. Did you not hear the last part IM DOING THIS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. God, we fight like children. But with more mature content. She stopped briefly, tilting her left to the side, and looked at me like I was God. Ohbut, Nate, I dont care. You havent completely ruined my life. Just a big portion of it, but Ill get over it. I already am. And but I want you to. Havent I already told you that? No, Maggie. I said sternly. Havent I already told you, this, I motioned between us, us, were done. Over. And we are never going to happen again. shit. I am an asshole. Again, she frowned, but it needed to be said, she needed to understand, she needs to move on. She whispered, But I dont want us to be over. Nate, I love you. Thats when I knew I had to get my ass out of there, or something would happen: I would probably end up feeling guilty and give in just to make her happy, or something. Plus, I was not ready to say that back to her. I cant even say it to my mom; you think Im going to say it to a crazy chick? Wellthanks. I gotta go. But she latched onto me. I imagined the American Psycho theme. Maggie, no. I tried yanking away from her. She let go and hooked her arm around my neck, tugging me down to her. She cried into my shoulder. dang it. Now Ill never get away. I tried swaying, hopping shed eventually get sea sick and get off Maggiiiieeee, stoooopp. but she didnt. No! she wailed, literally pulling me down on top of her, wrapping her legs around me. Tell me you love me! Please! Say it back. Oh, please! You dont even have to mean it; just say it. I need to hear it. Even if its fake. I shook my head, not comfortable with lying to her, trying to pull her off me. No, Maggie. I say her name a lot. I just realized that. But, I dont know, its like she listens more if I do. And why not? she wanted to know. Am I really that impossible to love?

No, no. I say quickly, starting to panic. Thats not it. I just - She continued to bawl even louder, holding on tighter. Oh, god. Uhm.nothings wrong with you. I - *cries somehow even louder* - I just, uh Im not really - In love with me? Oh, no, no, not that. Im just not uh And she kept crying. Louder and louder. Someones going to walk in eventually, if this is a good family, to see if shes okay. They shouldve already come in sooner, like when I was cussing at her. But wait. Her dog. Its dead. Thats what they think shes crying about. How could I forget? Well, good, but not really. But, if my daughter was getting cussed at by some raunchy teenage hood rat, I wouldve came in with a machete a long time ago. Anyway She went on with her crying, and I I cant. It just sounds so real. Not like she was faking it. Like this really bugs her enough to cry. Does she really like me that much? Orapparentlylove me? God, this is weird. I dont like it. Not being able to take it anymore, I sighed. Fine, Maggie. I I love you. Even though I dont. -_She pulled away with a happy gasp, tears streaming down her face. Oh, really? she squealed with excitement. I reluctantly nodded. She pulled me back into a hug. Oh, Nate! Isnt this just lovely! Were in love, in love oh, this is great, fantastic, really! Oh, wow! what the fuck. She does know that I was, uhm, lying, right? Yet shes still this happy? That Im lying to her? Whatever. As long as shes done crying. And let the happy kisses began. Just everywhere. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaanndddd thats how we ended up banging. Not even joking. We just almost about to right now. But, lucky me, guess who walks in mid-pre-sex. Like me, just in boxers, Maggie, completely naked. Dad. Her dad. Hahaha, oh Ive never ran so fast.

I tried to grab as much of my stuff before, literally, diving out her window. Well, that was fun, yeah. But lets never do it again. Okay. Uh, next chapter?

-- Chapter Thirteen
So, the semesters almost over now, by the way. The first one. Only like three days until its the new one. And I have me some new classes. Alright: First period: same as it was before. Second: Study Hall a-fucking-gain. Third: Study Hall. AGAIN. (Im honestly about to ask to get them changed. I wasnt even supposed to have two study halls in the same semester last semester. I was actually going to do Spanish One, but the class was filled, so I just took Study Hall again; and I couldnt move the Study Hall to another time, because all my other classes were sophomore only classes. When I talked to Darby about getting them changed, she was like, Bro, just take it; youll always get your homework done. blah blah, and, stupid me, I listened to her, and ended up being bored out of my mind for two quarters.) Fourth: same as it was before Fifth: Art 1 Sixth: Same. And seventh: Same. Alrighty. Well, second periods about to be over, two minutes. And, yeah, bored. I did all my homework. I was thinking about going to the office for third period and asking, but then I remembered: Shit, Davis class; we have this essay due today, all finished and typed, and its nowhere near finished, so I could always go to the computer lab instead to do that. But, nah. It shouldnt take that long to talk with my guidance counselor, and I can go to the computer lab afterwards.

Alright, plan done. The bell rang ending second period. Everyone got up, besides me (this is my third period) and rushed out the door. I took this as my chance and got up, walking over to big, fat study hall lady. She was at her computer, doing stuff. When I leaned up against her desk, she looked up. Yes? I cleared my throat before speaking. Uh, can I go to the office and fix my schedule? Oh, uh, yeah, yeah. Is this your third period? I nodded, like Uhm, yeah? I never get up to leave for third after second, some times its just me in here for a really long time. Youd think she wouldve noticed. Okay, sign out first. Okay. Anyway, I signed out and walked down the hall to the attendance office. Mrs. Rike was sitting on the other side of the door at her desk. She was on the phone. I guess Ill wait. Wait. I dont have to. I turned to my right, walking down the hall to the other office connected to the attendance. My guidance counselors door was shut. I eyed the chairs lined up against the wall and the people sitting in them. (left to right) A rather preppy bitch doing her makeup, some emo dude sleeping, Stephanie (ew), some kid I dont know, and.Maggie. Well She was slouched over, her head shoved into her hands. She looked a mess, from what I can see. And she sniffled. Cool. I took a seat in the chair next to her and debated whether or not I should try talking to her or just leave her alone. I just stared, hopping shed feel it and look up. She didnt. Shes probably in here for her dog. I dont know why but I suddenly look at her wrists. Yup. Shes cutting again, and its bad. I poked her head. She didnt move at first so I quickly accepted that she was dead. Maggie? She didnt respond. Yup. Shes gone. I poked again, harder this time. Still nothing. WHY

NOTHING? I looked around to see if anyone was looking at me. Yup. Everyone who was sitting in the chairs next to us were. I think shes sleeping. Stephanie suggested. NO. DONT TALK TO ME! I looked from her to Maggie. I opened my mouth. Maybe. Really wanting to think thats it, I shoved her violently, and sure enough, she jolted awake. WHA - She stopped to rub her eyes and groan. -T the fuuhh? But when she looked over and saw it was me poking and shaking her, she grinned. Oh, hey, Nate! I smiled back. Sup. She took a moment to look around the room, probably trying to figure out where she was and why she was here. She looked at me. Why are you in here? I took my folded up schedule out of my back pocket, and unfolded it, showing it to her. I have Study Hall two times in a row again next semester, and I dont want it. Oh. What periods? Second and third. Her face lit up. See if you can get Spanish for second period Emmys taking it -- and gym for third because, well, thats my gym class. Okay. Uh is Emmyare we okay? Or does she still hate me? Well, she definitely doesnt love and want to marry you, but - *laughs* - I dont think she hates you, but she was totally mad, like about to shoot my head off, when I She suddenly looked down. I told her. Told her what? This cant be good. Uhm, She pushed out a laugh. Thatthat wethat you were, uhm, yeah. ..wat? I dont understand. Before she could answer, the guidance counselors door shot open, and she walked out, patting some kid on the shoulder. Remember, Michael, she started, pulling him back to her when he tried to run away. Its not your fault, alright? Just focus on your grades, because thats whats really important here, okay? Dont roll your eyes at me; Im trying to help, you little ungrateful fu Blah, blah. blah. I stopped listening. Maggie was intensely captivated by their conversation.

I snapped my fingers in front of her face. She blinked, eyes darting to me for a split second, but she didnt continue talking. Maggie, tell me or Ill I wasnt sure what I would do. But suddenly I got it. Something good. I smirked evilly. Or Ill send everyone in my contacts Her head shoot towards me, already knowing where this was heading. those pictures. Everyone else looked at us too, secretly wanting to know. Even the kid and guidance counselor were watching. And tell them to forward them. Maggies eyes were huge. I swear to god if you do. Maybe I wont have to tell me. She narrowed her eyes at me before groaning. Fine. But instead of continuing, she shot a glare at everyone in here. Look away! Stop eavesdropping, you twats. They all gave her a sneer look but looked away. I patted her knee, telling her to continue. She didnt say anything though. Just made a, uhm, hand gesture. The sexual kind. WHAT. Everyone looked back over, but when Maggie glared at them again, they all turned their heads the other way. Maggie twisted back to me, a desperate expression on her face. I know! she bellowed. But, but she it just came out. And she didnt acted as pissed as she probably was, but - Mrs. Cameron, the guidance counselor, btw, interrupted, the boy no longer next to her. She called on the next victim. Uh, ElenaShiverdecker, is it? The preppy girl looked up from her little portable mirror. She snapped it shut, putting it back into her purse. She rose, straightening out her skin-tight pink Abercrombie top, hiking up her already short shorts, making them delightfully shorter just as Maggie cleared her throat. Uh, you pronounced Maggie DeBella wrong. Mrs. Cameron smiled at her. Funny. She let Elena catwalk in first, and closed the door behind them. I am never getting out of here. I spun Maggie around so she was looking at me again. Whatd she say? I pressed. Oh, uhnothing, actually. She just hugged me. Hugged you? I repeated, a tad confused. Why? She looked down. Because, uhI was cryingwhen I, when I told her.

why? She took a deep breath and exhaled. It was when we were texting, when you got your phone back, and yeah. I just happened to start crying and it just came out. Ohwell so shes not ticked at me? She shook her head. I dont think so. Okay well. Im done with this conversation. What were we talking about before? Oh, yeah. Uhm, can I even do that? Start taking Spanish in the middle of the year? Maggie stared at me for a second with a perplexed look, then caught on. probably not, but I mean, you can drop it whenever you want, so you should be able to start it whenever you want, too. I nodded, like k, and we just sat there for a bit. When the Elena chick came out, the emo dude whose named I learned was Henry Privy, went in. Then Stephanie after him. I checked the digital clock hanging on the wall above me. 10:10..make a wish! *wishes* Okay. Fifteen minutes til third period ends. Ive been in here since 9:30. Shit. After sitting some more, I eventually realized I never asked Maggie why she hereor did I? I dont remember. I tilted my head trying to. I dont think so. I tapped her shoulder. When she looked over, I questioned, Did I ask you why you were here? She tilted her head, too, thinking. UhmI dont believe so. Oh, okay, well why? Mugz, she said simply. Apparently its obvious how fucked its made me lately; Ive been in here since the end of first period. My eyes widened. And I thought Ive been in here for a long time. Thats ridiculous. Eh. She shrugged. Its fine. Ive missed like two classes, so thats always cool. Well, yeah, I guess, but still geez. But theres been a lot of people in here before me, so - And door opens. Mrs. Whats-hername walked out with Stephanie. She said some encouraging words to her before sending her off with a teachers pass.

Uh I checked the clock again. 10:31. I didnt even hear the bell ring at twenty-five when third ended. Alright, uhm, She peered down at a clipboard, and then back up smiling at Maggie. Margret. Maggie narrowed her eyes, standing. Yup. Okay, well, She stepped to the side, hand motioning inside. Come on in, dear. Maggie threw a peace sign at me and anyone staring at her, and ghetto-walked in, leaving me there. Alone. Bored. *sits there a bit and checks time again* 10:34. Im missing math class. Dang it. Oh well. I played with my fingers until I heard a door open. I looked up, thinking it was the guidance counselors, but nope. It was the door to this here room. In walked really hot cheerleader aka Leah Shelby. Alright, *freeze frame so I can talk about her* Okay, so shes like perfect. I swear. Shes Hitlers idea of awesome: blond hair, blue eyes. And hot. She was wearing regular clothes not cheer stuff, like idk a long sleeve shirt and pants. She wasnt wearing slutty stuff, like the cheerleaders do in movies. She just looked, I dont know, normal. But shes hot. like really hawtt. And she is so nice again, unlike the cheerleaders in movies. Most of the cheerleaders at our school are actually really nice well, to me, anyway.

Alright, *un-freeze*. And she actually said hi to me, like smile, wave, everything. And I made the dumbest smile back. And I was mid-drink of my Propel, and I have this weird thing where, like, if someone smiles at me or says hi, I dont stop whatever Im doing, I smile back no matter what. So when I smiled back at her, I almost spit up my drink all over myself. This is bad. Very bad. But she like giggled and said, Naaattee, lookin good. I just - *thumbs up* Well, I do what I can. Its working for you, must I admit. She golf-clapped back. I tried to bow while sitting. Why thank you. She giggled again, peace-sign, continued her walk up to the left and strolled into the attendance office. How smooth am I? Very, yeah? But gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh. Bored af. But nothing to think of or blather about, so*fast-forward time until Maggie gets out of there, which btw ended up being like twenty minutes later; a little birdy (guidance counselor) eventually told me its because she started bawling her eyes out and threatened to kill herself with a stapler. They actually wheeled her out in a wheelchair.) Yeah, no joke. Maggies a crazy bitch, Im telling you. .okay. Kidding a little. She really did go a bit psycho, but she walked out, still crying a bit. But I gladly walked into that room and sat down in the very nice, comfy chair. Lord, maybe thats why people have been staying in here for thirty minutes minimum this is the best piece of furniture consisting of a seat, legs, back, and often arms, designed to accommodate one person ever! Just great. But then she ruined my blissful mood by asking why Im here, sweetie.

I sat up straight, knowing if I didnt Id be out like a light very soon. I cleared my throat again. Well, uh, I got out my schedule, and since she ended up reaching for it, I handed it to her. Next semester, I have two Study Halls in a row again, and Id rather not. She examined it, lips puckered like she was thinking. She gazed up. Again? I nodded a bit too much for such a simple question. Yup. Hmmpf, well, She laid it on the table, turning to her computer, and scooted herself in so it was literally like the monitor had back sassed her and she was just like, Bitch, wanna run that by me again? I laughed to myself in my mind. Why am I so funny? Lets see here. She clicked a few things. And then a few more things. She was suddenly looking at me. Talk about scary as fuck. Whats your name again? This bitch. I was in here about fifty times last year and about twenty already this year, mostly because of troubles at home; they (every freaking teacher) has made me come in here to talk to her yet it obviously doesnt help. At all. But I tried not to melt her head with my heat vision, and told her, Nate Sharits. Its like a light clicked on in her mind and she slapped her forehead. Oh, yes! I remember now. You cussed me out about a month ago, yeah? When I tried to help you with what was it? your mother, right? Things got a bit touchy. ..yeah. She wagged her finger at me with a devilish grin. Quite the vocabulary you have, if I remember correctly quite colorful. I made an attempt at a chuckle. Well, you know me! She went on laughing more. Unfortunately. *old, proper lady laugh!* She got serious. How is that going, by the way? Is she still buggin ya?

Oh, no. Its fine. Were good now just I tried to think of a lie. Werent exactly seeing eye-to-eye then? she finished for me. I mentally shot her head off, but nodded in real life. Yes, exactly. She started smiling again. I see. She twisted back to the computer. Nathan Sharits? Yup. She did some typing. Ah yes. There you are. *click click* Second and third, right? Uh-huh. AlrightyUhm, yes, I see. Study Hall and then Study Hall againNext semester, yeah? Yes. Good lord. She squinted her eyes, getting right up in that monitors face. What classes would you like? I began to think back to what Maggie had said to me earlier, and then to what Darbys classes were next semester for those periods. Uh, if you can, Spanish Two, maybe, for second, or, uhm, Goodness, what is Darbys second period class? Ohits Spanish Two, too.But Emmy and Darbys teachers are different. Yeah, that. Or, if not, Ill justhave Study Hall again. Thats cool, too. And, uhm.for third, gym? She turned back to her computer, did some typing and clicking. What teacher? For Spanish. Or do you not care? You obviously must trying to get the same class as a friend, maybe? Uh, I strained a laugh. Heh. Yeah. Two different friends and two different teachers. She smiled. Knew it. Haa, yup. I went back to remembering. Uhhhhh Think, think. Either Miller or Tussing. Hopefully Tussing. Thats Darbys. She nodded, doing some more clicking. She ended up frowning. Im sorry, neither are open. Oh, *pffft sound* Thats fine. I shrugged. I guess Ill just keep Study Hall. Oh, are you sure? I can bump someone out of there; there are like twenty kids failing. she offered, a bit too eagerly.

.no. Its fine. Plus, starting a foreign language in the middle of the year dumb idea. True, true whatd you want for third? Gym.if you can. She went back to clicking and typing, and smiled. :D Alright, good news. There is one spot open for Kopp and one for Sedler, which would you prefer? And we go back to thinking and remembering again. I think Maggies Kopp. I hope. Kopp. She looked shocked by this. Really? You opening choose Kopp? Kopps a dick and a perv, soyeah. Well, I mean, I smiled sweetly at her, unless you can see what teacher Maggie DeBella has? She matched it, turning back to the computer. Ill see. *type type click type click* Oh, whatta ya know, I can check that. Alright DeBella, yes? Alright, a Ms. Margret DeBella hasKopp. So Kopp is your final answer? Well, duh. .. .. . I didnt mean for that to come out as.uhmrude. I expected her to whip out a ruler from like the 1920s and beat me with it. She laughed instead. Its fine. She did a few more clicks and types and then the printer made the scariest noise ever that could wake a person in a coma. Apparently she was printing out my new schedule. She grabbed it, did a little double-check, and handed it to me with a smile. Here you go, dear. I returned the smile, grabbing it from her. I did a little double-check and said, Thank you. Mmhmm oh, wait, and here. She took out a Post-it note and wrote something down on it. Her signature and the time 11:17. Are you fucking kidding me? I came here at like 9:30, now its 11:17. This is bullshit. But I got my stuff done. Lets just stay positive here. I had to in order to keep myself from throwing her noisy-ass printer at her.

I made myself smile at her as I took the Post-it, thanked her again, and exited the room. There were three more students out here now. Hope they dont have anything important in any of their classes for the rest of the day, because they are never getting out of here. I mentally prayed for each one of them and didnt even go to math; I went to health, because, well, there wasnt any point. And, uh I have nothing else to think or talk about or cool event to fill you in on right now, so.Im just gonna goand, uh, say this chapter is done. Short but done. And.

yeah. later.

-- Chapter Fourteen
There are five pregnant girls at my school five. Ones a freshman, two are sophomores, ones a junior, and the last ones a senior, so one in each grade level. Great. I dont know why I was so shocked when I saw them not like they were all in a group or something, like a pregnancy pact; Ive seen them separately throughout the day. But anyway, dont know why I was so shocked to see them, not like its a shocking seeing a pregnant teenage girl, but I dont know. I didnt think that shit actually happened. Well, I mean, I know it happens, but likeat our school? Its not like were a goody-two-shoe school definitely not but it was just weird. Like, people that go to our school are sluts and man-whores and all that, but none of them are pregnant the girls. At the Junior High, they are a ton of pregnant sluts, but yeah. It was just odd, I dont know. But I didnt make it too obvious when I saw them. I just kept looking straight, like I didnt even seen em. But I did. So, anyway, we bought a new scale. Its puurrddaayy. For a scale. And I got an Iced Mocha. And Im listening to Awolnation, chillin like a villain, blogging, kinda want to marry Hayley Williams. Its a good day, yeah. Except its Sunday. And its like 8:00pm.

Ew. I havent done any homework. But I still have a Study Hall, so. Thats good. But I have homework in my first class. This sucks. Anyway. You dont care, do you? WELLLLLL THEN. No ones making you read this. So GEEZ. Anyway. My moms making fish with her new boyfriend. Oh yeah. My dad like left us. Yup. GOOD RIDDANCE! He sucked anyway. BABY, WHEN IM YELLIN AT YOU, ITS NOT YOUR FAULT, ITS NOT YOUR FAULT, YEAH AND BABY, CUZ IM CRAZY FOR YOU, ITS NOT YOUR FAULT, ITS NOT YOUR FAULT, YEAH. Good band, yup. Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh. I guess I should do my homework. And by that I mean, keep blogging. OHHHH, ITS NOT THAT YOU SHOULD CAAAREE, I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW Really good. Hey, tomorrow is Maggies birthday. :) Were gonna hang out. She just doesnt know it yet. So, yeah. Lets skip to that, I guess. *SKIIIIPPPPPPPPPPP*

So since I was already at the park with Chubbz because I love him, I decided, yeah, now would be a groovy time to call Maggie and tell her were hanging out now. So I picked up my celly and dialed her number, and waited until she answered. Yaaahh? THEY SAID ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY, BA NA NA NA NA NA, ITS MY BIRTHDAY, TOO! And thats all I know. There was a brief pause and then Maggies insane laugh. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA, wow, Nate! It is my birthday! You already said happy birthday to me, though SO?! I replied madly. Now Im telling you again. Its because I love you, Maggie. God. Oh, and that you need to get to Herrlinger, because thats where I am, and its kinda weird hanging out with you without you actually being here. She giggled again. Wha do I not get a say in this? Nope, because if you did, you could say no, and thats not cool. Right, I see where youre coming from. Uhm, Ill ask Emmy if shell drive me there. DOOOOO EEHHHTT! lol okay, Nate, hold on. Ill ask and call you back or text? Alright, whichever bye. Later, gater. No. Bye. Hahahaha, okay. *just hangs up* Welp, now we wait. *after waiting some time* - a txt from Margret. To: Me From: Magzilla ---------------------------------------------------------------

Okay, she said yeaaaahhh. Be there in a flash. --------------------------------------------------------------I was just like, Youre such a faggot. The reply: <3 So, after waiting some more time - a wild Maggie appears. Emmys green van pulled up Im guessing. Ive never actually seen it, but I knew it was them, because Maggie puts her feet up on the dash, always. She just thinks shes so cool. And then she did her ghetto-walk out and over to the picnic tables as Emmy sped away down the street. I cupped my hands around my mouth and announced, BEEP BEEP, FAGGOT ALERT. PAGING DOCTOR FAGGOT! She threw up the deuces (basically a peace sign) and did that stupid duck face. Oh, sup, Nate. she greeted in that chill voice of hers, sitting herself down on the bench next to me. Ive never really noticed how casual Maggie talks, just really chill and calm. Like, I dont know. Its cool. Even when shes freaking out, its still nonchalant-like, but in a freaking out way. Anyway. Chubbs came running up to us well, her, and she gasped, Chubbs! bending down to pick him up. She hugged him tightly. Oh, youre such a big boy now! She fawned over him for about a really long time until he started squirming around. I told her that usually means hes about to piss, so she put him down and we started talking well, about to. She suddenly gasped. You threw away my dog! I just remembered that I had actually forgot. Oh, crap. I forgot, too. I didnt actually throw Mugz away; it was his collar. She gave it to me and, uhm, yeah. I DID NOT! Yes, you did! Nooooo. Cody did, and I didnt really want to dig through the trash for it. Yes, Cody. I actually do have a guy friend. We hung out and he threw Maggies dog in some grody-ass trash, so I think thats another reason I hang out with girls mostly; they dont turn into assholes and through valuable shit away. Well, they do, but usually not to me. Well, thats another reason and because, well, theyre girlswith vaginas; I can do stuff with them. Oh whatever! Okay, fine. Whatever. I dont I dont even care. I aint even mad. Uh-huh.

We chilled there for a little while longer until her dad called her. She leaned back into a rather blas pose and answered with Sup. She paused for a few seconds. Hello? Wait, hold on. She pulled her phone away from her ear and pressed the volume key a few times. She brought it back to her. Yeah, dad? Hi. My volume was off I mimicked her posture, phone to my ear and everything. I mocked her with a voice that sounded nothing like hers. My name is Maggie and I just think Im so cool. I pulled the phone away from me and pretended to turn up the volume. Here, let me turn my volume up so I cant hear my haters. She flashed a toothy grin, saying some more stuff to her dad, not before putting up a peace sign. And what is that? I asked, motioning to her, doing the same. A peace sign? Deuces, she corrected me, and waved it in the air. Throwin up the deuces. Im on that hot boy status, I can do that. Shes so stupid. Do you believe this kid? What an idiot. Oh, okay. She went back to her convo with her dad. Oh, Im talking to Jessie. Shes not allowed to hang out with me, ahahahah. COOL BEANS! Anyway, she finally got off the phone and we went over to the swings and swinged (Swung? Swang?) So, Maggie took a number of steps back, taking the swing with her. It rested on her booty. I was in the swing to the left of her, facing her (kinda. Ya get it?) I thought I should let you know, its official, I didnt get my period this month. I glared at her. Maggie, shut the fuck up. Seriously. With all the girls at our school getting knocked-up, I didnt want to hear that, and she knew. She bursted out laughing, insanely, having to cover her mouth. Just thought Id tell you, She sat down on the swing, and began to twirl around in circles. In case you wanted to know. She let herself go, spinning around about thirty times. It made me dizzy, and I wasnt even looking at her. *the sound of little girls shouting came from my right*

We both stopped and looked that way. Two little girls (one younger than the other) came running towards the park, a woman and two men walked behind them. I say those words with because they didnt look old enough to be considered that; maybe just in their twenties. The dudes looked like they could be gay together, and the girl one of their sisters, but I doubt it. Dont know why, just did. So, Maggie said again, back in the position she was before. I had decided to start swinging. I tried to kill myself Friday. Forgetting there were children there, some within ten feet of us, I shouted, YOU MOTHER FUCKER! And even though I was about fifty feet off the ground at the moment, I still managed to jump off the swing and almost hopped on top of her. I just about squeezed the life out of her. MAGGIE, WHAT THE FUCK!? I dont know! She made herself laugh. I just didnt feel like living, you know? I shoved her, sitting back down. And you get mad at me no, not cool, Maggie. She just shrugged and clicked her tongue. Well, its different. Whatever, you - I was about to call her a mother fucker again when one of those little girls walked up, belly-flopping down on a swing. She turned back around, trying to pull herself up. Failed. She screamed, MOMMY! still trying. Maggie turned to me and was just like, Nate, this is so sad. Help her. I made that scoffing face, scoffing. No. You. She stuck her tongue out just as that little girl screamed at the top of her lungs again, MOMMY! HEEELLPP! Finally, after a few more cries for help, that girl walked over, and she didnt have her sunglasses or hoodie on that she did when she got here, and she was HOT. Hot mom. I gawked, approving. Maggie chuckled at that. Wow, Nate. But wait mom. There must be a dad. DANG IT. And it was one of those dudes, the one with a buzz cut. He was hot, I must say. I know it was him because he was like, *as he was holding the other little girl* You want me to get her, baby? -_Fuck you, bro.

Baby, already halfway there, waved her hand in the air back at him. No, I got her. She got to her, and picked her up, setting her on the swing. There you go, Ana. Ana instantly started cheering and screaming with delight. Mother got behind her, pushing her a few times, did an underdog, and then left her. Not kidding just walked away. Some mom. I commented under my breath. Right. agreed Maggie. Lets just make our kids day and then leave em. I laughed at how dramatic she made it out to be. I know. The bitch. We went on to say insults about her and laugh until that little girl, still trying to make herself swing, suddenly turned her head to us. She exclaimed, HEY! SWING ME! Maggie scoffed to me, Little pushy bitch, standing up, going over to her. Of course I laughed. But then the other little girl came over. She just stood there, watching Maggie push her big sister, Im guessing. Scary as fuck lookin. Maggie just had to say, Oh my god, its like The Seed of Chucky one of them dolls. My jaw dropped and I couldnt help but laugh. Maggie! Youre such a bitch. She smiled smugly, walking back over here, and I said, referring to Ana, Great, leave her like her mom. Maggie jaw dropped this time, but she covered her mouth, and she laughed. WELL. She sat back down. The other little girl kept attempting to smile at us as she played in the sand. According to Maggie, it was scary, so she quickly suggested we should go over to the slide before we died. But that little scary fuck followed eventually. And oh my god, she kept trying to talk to me. I felt it was best to ignore her. I made that face at Maggie, the one that just screams, OH MY GOD, HELP ME. And she did. In her Maggie way of helping. Maggie got up to the very top of the slide, about to go down it. She just said, protectively, might I add, Hey, dont talk to him. Oh my god, I thought I was going to die. Maggie had brought a, uhm, Sobe, so I was mid-sip of that, and ended up almost choking. I literally crouched down, trying to breathe. But that little girl, she just kept trying. I knew because Maggie snapped again, Oh my god - go away. She went down the slide at the speed of light, and was in front of me, who was still on the ground. Maggie, stop. I begged, trying to stand. I cant breathe.

But lord. She took a big step forward, and feigned a lunge at her like she was about to start a fight. What? It was so funny, omg. I finally got up, and reluctantly tuned around to where that little girl was standing was. She was now stumbling away from us. Stumbling because she was, like, two and two year olds have, like, no balance yet. And Ana, she was playing with Chubbs. I forgot he was here. Oops. But yeah. We laughed about that for-like-ever, not even kidding. Good golly. Why do I do this? I shouldnt have hung out with her, because, like, now I realized how cool Maggie actually is which is very and now I dont want her to leave. This is going to end badly. And it almost did. Maggie came here at like four-ish. Its now nine. At night. We have school tomorrow. Fuck. Well, she was going to text her dad and ask him to come get her, but she remembered: Oh wait, he dont like Nate, and Im hanging out with him, at a park near his house. Well, dang. So she texted Emmy, and shes just taking forever to get here. And no one else is here. Double fuck. My mom texted me to get home at 7:34. Triple fuck. I am screwed. And Maggie was getting progressively closer. No. Go away. Please. I cant no. So, she began her sentence with for the 483,342,098,936,234,783th time today. This is a bit late, butwhatd ya get me? For what? I played dumb. Its not its your birthday or anything oh wait. Nate! she giggled. Come one! I actually did have something. A lame and gay as fuck something, at that. When I started digging into my back pocket, she was straight-up cheesin.

Geez, smile any bigger and youll have your very own Chelsea grin. But she kept grinning. Oh, shh. Shush. Im just what is it? Ehh. Lets drag this out. Make her beg. She can get hysterical when she really wants something but cant get it right away. Oh, I dunno. Just something. She playfully slapped my shoulder. No! This isnt fair, you a-hole. Gimmie. I focused on Chubbz instead. Goodness. Why do I keep spelling his name with a z at the end? Its supposed to be an s and I dont even think youve noticed, but Ive been doing it like that for a while now, like, hes not Mugz. Anyway, I swiveled around, looking for him, because it is dark as fuck out now, and I dont know where he is. I twirled around in circles, eventually finding him. He was literally like a foot away from us, sleeping. Little effer. He knew this was going to happen. HE KNEW. I was, legit, about to kick him. Just as I was preparing to get ready to kick, Maggie started hopping up and dog I, I mean, down(Author: Oops.) Nate! she continued to squeal. What is it? But I really didnt want to give it to her. It was an extra lame gift. Im feeling a little fruity buying it for her. Plus, I dont want her to get the wrong idea, you know? Because it cost a shit-ton of money, like, seriously. And I paid for it all. Quadruple fuck. Never doing that again. Never spending that much money on someone who is just a friend. Well, it was from some catalog, Premier Design, I believe. Its called the Promise Keeper; its a 36 necklace with lobster claw closure with removable pendent.Thirty-four bucks, yeah Im gonna remember every fucking detail about this piece of shit. But its really pretty, I will say. Its like in the shape of a key, but the, like, top part, I guess, is in the shape of a heart. I know, Im lame. But my mom dragged me to one of the little open house parties for the catalog thing, and I dragged Maggie with me and she saw it and like it, so yeah. But, yeah, feelin lame and cheesy for getting it and has she been talking this whole time?

God dammit, Maggie, I groaned, apparently interrupting her. Havent you learned by now? This is my thinking face. That means Im thinking; dont try to talk to me. I am not listening. She scrunched her nose up at me, sticking her tongue out. Well, is that any way to talk to the birthday girl on her birthday? NO. Now, for yelling at me, I say you give me my gift now and something else to make up for that. I somewhat faked an annoyed and defeated sighed. Like what? She broke out a not-so-old grin and did she just check me out? Oh, just something, but, til then gimmie. This time I sighed a real annoyed, defeated sigh, digging into my back pocket again. Then I remembered it wasnt in there. As she jumped up and down giddily, I took my Nike bag off, digging for it in there. Ah, found it. I reluctantly pulled it out. It wasnt in my hand for more than .000000000001 seconds before she gasped and reached for the little box, taking it from me. Oh, Nate! I wonder what it is; the box is just gorgeous! It must be exquisite - No, I cant! She threw it back to me. I dont want to know; Im too excited. Well, okay - Wait, never mind. She snatched it back. She grinned down at it. She ran her thumb over the lid and looked back up. Premier Design? Whats that? Never mind, I dont care. Im too scared to open it, though. Just tell me what it is. I cant well, maybe I can. The box is gorgeous, did I already say that? Why do I feel like crying - Fucking hell, Maggie. I grabbed it from her, ripping the top off. It was in a little clear plastic baggy, so I almost tore that open. I grabbed her hand, turning it over, and dumbed it into her palm. There, god damn. She gasped again. Oh gosh. Nate, this is beautiful. Its alright. Oh, goodness. She started fanning her face. is she crying are you kidding me. This is so amazing! Oh, I could hug you. Could? She was. I tried to keep myself from falling over as she hopped up and wrapped her legs and arms around me. Lord Maggie. No, this is beautiful! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Eh, it nbd. She yanked away. Nbd?! No, how much did this cost you? This looks pretty posh. Hell no. I was not telling her, *and I told her* because then shed be like, WHAT? *throws it at me* No way! I cant take this, Nate, blah, blah, blaaaahh. Watch. Shell say it. Oh, whatta ya know. She is. WHAT?! She began to hand it back to me, but I backed away. No, Maggie. Take it or I swear to god - No way! she continued along with the script. I cant take this, Nate. She literally shoved it back into my hand. I did the same to her. Noooo. I spent a shit-ton of money on this. Youre keeping it. But - No. Nate - No, shut up. She huffed so hard, her bangs flew up a bit. Fine, since you spent so much money on me though, Im telling you, believe it or not, I am not worth that. Oh, I know. I flashed a smile as she play glared. Ha, ha. was her fake laugh back. She looked back down at it. This is really sweet, Nate, really. Thanks. She hugged me tightly. I tried to pull away after three seconds, but she pulled me back. Uh-huh. She wont let go. Is this really how Im going to die? Get off Oh, She pulled away quickly, taking a few steps back. Sorry. she apologized, sheepishly. I was just happy and She stared down at it. She sighed. Yeah. I stood there, looking from her to the necklace, her to the necklace, and smiled. Are you gonna put it on or just stand there and gawk at it?

Oh, she said again, looking up with a smile. She apologized again. Sorry. Erm She unclasped it and brought it up to her neck. She tried re-clapping it around her neck three times before giving up, standing there. I guess Ill help. Okay, hold on, hold on. I got behind her, moving her hair over her left shoulder. I slapped her hands away, taking it (the little claspy thing) and since it was in fact a 36 necklace, I ringed it through the lobster claw closure again, and clasped it closed for her. There. She thanked me and took her jolly ole time gawking over it. Well. This is fun. NOT. But I didnt say anything. Wait What you said I had to give you something elsefor, like, yelling at you or whatever. What? Her smile fell for a second, but she brought it back up quickly. She looked down, Oh, uhm, then back up. A kiss, of course. Maybe more. MOTHER FUCKER. god shit dammit cinco fuck. I sighed, quickly becoming frustrated with her, deciding like many other times, hell, why not? Let her know. Okay, seriously. This is starting to piss me off. How many times have we been over this? A shit-ton of times. (foreign language for six) fuck. Maggie, no. And why not?! she actually screamed, jaw clenching. Because, Maggie! I matched her tone and volume. Chubbs let out a sneeze that could bring a dead man back to life and then hed go Awwww! and then die again of cuteness, cuz puppy sneezes are adorable. His sneeze mustve scared the hell out of him because he jumped up and puppy barked, and started running around in circles. We both took a brief moment and just went, Awwww! Extra cute. I prayed she had suddenly forgot, because I really didnt want to fight with her on her birthday, but she snapped her attention back this way and glared a glare of death.

JUST KISS ME, YOU ASSHOLE! ITS MY BIRTHDAY AND I DESERVE HAPPINESS AND NOTHING BUT, AND YOU ARE FUCKING THAT UP RIGHT NOW. I WANT BIRTHDAY SEX. NOW. O_O <-- the look on my face. well. UGH. whhhyyyyy does it have to be her birthday? Any other day and I would be more okay with rejecting her, but Exactly. Its her birthday. This sucks ass. Her eyes went wide and she looked appalled by what she had said. Uh, She cleared her throat. I-I dont know what came over me just then. I was justupset, I guess. UhmIm sorry. its okay. She was frowning, so much, so sad-like. I inhaled and sighed loudly. Fine, okay - Oh my god. She looked like a serial killer. Big fricken psycho smile. I fought the unbelievably strong urge to back away slowly and run as fast as I could. REALLY?!?!?!?!?! uhyeah, I guess. She cackled. HAHAHA okay yay. She immediately closed her eyes and smiled, puckering her lips way too much. Uhm, honey, no. She opened her eyes when I took my index finger and poked her lips. No? Too much? I nodded. A lot too much. Ohwell. She shut her eyes again and didnt even bother puckering or anything. For some reason I really didnt want to do thisbuthey, she said birthday sexthats good. Im a horrible person, yup. But, ugh, I couldnt stop myself until I burped. hahaha oops.

She groaned, squeezing her eyes shut, scrunching up her nose. Ugh, Nate! I couldnt stop laughing. That was so freaking funny. Sorry oh, wait, hold on. I think - I held a finger up, putting my right hand over my stomach and burped again. Ooh. Yup. Sorry. I *burp* oh god. Nate! She hit my stomach making me burp again. Seriously, I dont know what wrong with me, I just *burp* good lord. Oh, She waved her hand in her face. Gross. I gave her few seconds to recover and then we got quiet. Well, I said, nodding to myself. Still wanna make out or? She narrowed her eyes in a You fucker kind of way, shaking her head. Nah, Im good. She suddenly jolted a bit, taking her phone out of her hoodie pocket. UhmEmmy. I sat back down in my swing. And what does she want? What the fuck? Why is she smiling? Why would you smile at that? Thats not smile worthy. She sat down on her swing. Me to come home. Like, what the fuck? Weve already been weve this. she made this annoyed face, swaying her phone a tad bit in her hand. But shes not going to pick me up now Why? Im guessing she texted that to her, or she just said it for no reason. Well, thats lame. I know! Somethins been up her ass lately, I swear. Just as she finished her sentence, her phone rang. She scowled before answering it. What the fuck? Why wont you pick me up? Damn, Maggie. She just shrugged, and were just gonna fast-forward through this phone call. Its basically just Maggie cussing at Emmy, and then, Then get mom to get me!*long pause* Im guessing her dad took the phone from Emmy, because Maggie said, Dad, can you come get me?...Where am I? UhmHerrlinger Maggie! I hissed. He knows I live near there. She just shrugged, pulling the phone away from her, finger on the receiver. What, I need a ride home - NO. Im not at Nates. Im, Im I have other friends who live near Herrlinger, dad, like half the school lives hereWhat? Im not lying! Fine, then ask Emmy; Im with Jessie. Emmy drove me here.

*really long pause.* I was just like, so? She was about to answer me but instead quickly threw up her index finger, shushing me. She sat there with a scowl as her dad screamed at her over the phone. She groaned a few seconds later, rubbing her temples. Kay, asshole. Bye. My jaw dropped as she hung up. Maggie! She just let a snarky smile out and shrugged again. Oh, well. Hes being an asshole, so Im gonna call him out on it. I honestly dont give two fucks. I was about to tell her she was white and should act it, when she was just like, And who are you to talk? Ive seen the way you talk to your mom and dad and just about everyone in your family. I let my jaw drop. Oh. OH. HEEEELLL NO. Now I was the one acting not-white. But youve met them! I tried to reason. Theyre a bunch of pricks, and if I dont let them know what I think of them, Ill explode. Exactly. she said with a wink. I made a stink-eye face at her. I hate when youre right. She smiled. Which is all the time, sodont see why you talk to me. Yeah, I wonder that, too. She pretended to be offended and I smile smugly. Sohow ya gonna get home? I dunno. She shrugged, getting out her phone again. Guess Ill try Kitt. Her mom. For some reason her moms not pissed at her for still hanging out with me like her dad. Maggie says her mom understood and didnt bite her head off for the, uh, incident She quickly texted her something. Now we wait. Alright. *after waiting sometime* She said okay. Sweet. *after waiting some more time*

Hey, shes here. So I walked her to the truck, we hugged, and then they left. So now Im walking home. Oh my golly. You would never believe who Im hanging out with. Remember that hot cheerleader? YUP. Her. :D I dont know how, but were hanging out. I think its because, okay so in math class like a while ago, we were working in groups of three or more on some homework, and she walked in to get help from Owen, and I kinda said out loud, Damn, she is so fine. and she, like, heard me and just smiled. and I dont know. Then we had a fucked up schedule because of OGTs and, so everyone had different lunches, and she didnt have any of her friends in her lunch and I kinda did but not really, so we sat together and talked and yeah. Thats how that happened. But yeah, were at her house, chillin in her bathroom - dont ask me why, I dont know - playing with her Macbook; shes got this thing on there that takes pictures and makes em look funny, so yup. And normal pictures too. But she keeps taking the worst pictures of me; Im never paying attention when she does it so, Im like mid-talk and *snap* she takes a picture. -_So, Im getting her back right now. So, I started, feeling a bit like Maggie. Can you cross your eyes? She nodded a crap-ton of times, Uh-huh, looking up from her phone, and crossed them. She still looked hot. Not good enough. Okay, can you do that thing with your tongue? That, uhm, curly thing. idk. She didnt either, because she un-crossed her eyes and just looked at me like, What? That that, I did it, and she was like, OH! Yeah. She did it. Now cross your eyes. She did. Still looked hot, wtf. Now speak. I instructed.

She didnt stop all that stuff, and said, what? And I quickly took a picture. Nothing, nothing. I shushed her, accidentally minimizing the screen. Oops. I opened it back up and looked eagerly at the picture. -_HOW!? I needed to know. HOW do you do that?! She wasnt making that face anymore. What? she asked, again. *over-exagerated hand gestures to the screen* THAT! She squinted her eyes, leaning forward to see what I was taking about. She gasped. Nate! I look so dumb. Delete it! Oh, whatever! I yelled into the air. You know youre gorgeous no matter what, you sassy bitch. She tried to keep the offended look but couldnt and started laughing. Oh, first Im hot, then Im gorgeous, and now Im a sassy bitch? She shook her head. Youre confusing. Oh, I said, running my fingers through her blond bangs, causing them to fall over her GORGEOUS blue eyes. So the blondes getting to your brain, I see. She gasped again, slapping my hand away. Low blow, Nate. she decided. Low blow. I smirked at that word. Blow. I repeated, leaning forward, winking, sitting back up straight when she hit me. No! she laughed. But yes. No. she said again, poking my arm. It must be a yes, or else why would you have done - I poked her arm just like she had to me that? She paused for a moment, looking down at her hands and began to chip the very little black paint there was on there off. Then she shook her head, smiling still. She poked me again, saying, No. I think you mispronounced yes, wrong, like really wrong. I poked her.

Except Im not, She poked me again. So no. *poke* Why do you keep saying yes like that? She laughed for the sixtieth time. Im saying it right: noooooooo. Except yes. She smiled. Whatever, I cant win with you. Or, I started, holding my index and middle finger up. You could. She immediately got it, sly smile, but still shook her head. You wish. I matched that sly smile and said, Oh, Im sure you do. She suddenly lurched forward, andI think she kissed me. Im not entirely sure. It was happened so fast. There was definitely some lip action goin on, tho. I know that much. But, it was like she realized what she did way before I figured it out. She slunk back, hand over her mouth, staring at the ground. She cleared her throat. Uhm I was just, Oh. She laughed nervously. Yeah, I - sorry. Uh, no. No. That wascool. She smiled. Really? Okay. You shouldnt be happy about that. Id French my brother if he wasnt such a jerk..ok. Over-exaggerating, but sumn like that. Its not that big of an accomplishment. But, nonetheless, I nodded, smiling, too, realizing, Hey, I might get a make-out buddy for the night. Yaaaayyyy. and then Oh, wait, this is Leah Shelby; my make-out buddy would be Leah Shelby. I just kissed Leah Shelby. I should have sex with Leah Shelby. That would be awesome. Life-long goal = almost complete. Yeah. *straight-up cheesin* Oh, okay. WellI can I kiss youagain?

Again? y I so shocked? Its me, for goodness sakes. Who wouldnt want to kiss and possibly make out with me? I mean, cum on. Im fabulous. Yeah. She continued to grin, but suddenly dropped it, fear spreading everywhere. Unlessyou dont want tothennever mind. What the fuck? Are you kidding me? Youre Leah Shelby. You dont even have to ask. Of course I want to make out with you. Youre awesome. Too much? Really? Would I lie to you? If I have to, I will. js. Well, I guess not. Exactly. Soshall we get to it? :D Okay. And we kissed again...and againand againto the point where itd be considered making out. And thenthings happened. Likenice things. eff yeah. All I do is win. #winning. Oh and guess who was a virgin but not anymore? Leah Shelby. Did not see that coming.