AN APPOINTMENT IN SAMARRA

Once upon a time, there was a rich Caliph in Baghdad. He was very famous because he was wise and kind. One morning, he sent his
servant, Abdul, to the market to buy some fruit. As Abdul was walking through the market, he suddenly felt very cold. He knew that
somebody was behind him. He turned round and saw a tall man, dressed in black. He couldn't see the man's face, only his eyes. The
man was staring at him, and Abdul began to shiver.
'Who are you? What do you want?' Abdul asked.
The man in black didn't reply.
'What's your name?' Abdul asked nervously.
'I...am...Death', the stranger replied coldly and turned away.
Abdul dropped his basket and ran all the way back to the Caliph's house. He rushed into the Caliph's room.
'Excuse me, master. I have to leave Baghdad immediately', Abdul said.
'But why? What's happened?' the Caliph asked.
'I've just met Death in the market', Abdul replied.
'Are you certain?' said the Caliph.
'Yes, I'm certain. He was dressed in black, and he stared at me. I'm going to my father's house in Samarra. If I go at once, I'll be there
before sunset.'
The Caliph could see that Abdul was terrified and gave him permission to go to Samarra.
The Caliph was puzzled. He was fond of Abdul and he was angry because Abdul had been badly frightened by the stranger in the
market. He decided to go to the market and investigate. When he found the man in black, he spoke to him angrily.
'Why did you frighten my servant?'
'Who is your servant?' the stranger replied.
'His name is Abdul', answered the Caliph.
'I didn't want to frighten him. I was just surprised to see him in Baghdad.'
'Why were you surprised?' the Caliph asked.
'I was surprised because I've got an appointment with him...tonight...in Samarra!'

The Unicorn in the Garden

James Thurber
Once upon a sunny morning a man who sat in a breakfast nook looked up from his scrambled eggs to see a white unicorn with a
golden horn quietly cropping the roses in the garden. The man went up to the bedroom where his wife was still asleep and woke
her. "There's a unicorn in the garden," he said. "Eating roses." She opened one 5 unfriendly eye and looked at him. "The unicorn is a
mythical beast," she said, and turned her back on him. The man walked slowly downstairs and out into the garden. The unicorn
was still there; he was now browsing among the tulips. "Here, unicorn," said the man and pulled up a lily and gave it to him. The unicorn
ate it gravely. With a high heart,because there was a unicorn in his garden, the man went upstairs and roused his wife
10 again. "The unicorn," he said, "ate a lily." His wife sat up in bed and looked at him,coldly. "You are a booby," she said, "and I am
going to have you put in a booby-hatch."
The man, who never liked the words "booby" and "booby-hatch," and who liked them even less on a shining morning when there was a
unicorn in the garden, thought for a moment. "We'll see about that," he said. He walked over to the door. "He has a golden
15 horn in the middle of his forehead, "he told her. Then he went back to the garden to watch the unicorn; but the unicorn had gone
away. The man sat among the roses and went to sleep.And as soon as the husband had gone out of the house, the wife got up and
dressed as 20 fast as she could. She was very excited and there was a gloat in her eye. She telephoned the police and she telephoned
the psychiatrist; she told them to hurry to her house and bring a strait-jacket. Then the police and the psychiatrist looked at her with
great interest. "My husband," she said, "saw a unicorn this morning." The police looked at the psychiatrist and the psychiatrist looked at
the police. "He told me it ate a lily," she said.25 The psychiatrist looked at the police and the police looked at the psychiatrist. "He told
me it had a golden horn in the middle of its forehead," she said. At a solemn signal from the signal from the psychiatrist, the police
leaped from their chairs and seized the wife.They had a hard time subduing her, for she put up a terrific struggle, but they finally
subdued her. Just as they got her into the strait-jacket, the husband came back into the 30 house. "Did you tell your wife you saw a
unicorn?" asked the police. "Of course not," said the husband. "The unicorn is a mythical beast." "That's all I wanted to know," said the
psychiatrist. "Take her away. I'm sorry, sir, but your wife is as crazy as a jay bird." So 35 they took her away, cursing and screaming,
and shut her up in an institution. The husband lived happily ever after.

Moral: Don't count your boobies until they are hatched.

There's No Fury Like a Woman Scorned!

On the first day Margo packed all her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come
and collect her things. On the third day, Margo sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on
some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each an every room and deposited few half-eaten anchovies dipped in caviar down the
curtain rods. When Margo's husband Ralph returned with his new girlfriend Tracey, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly,
the house began to smell. They tried everything, cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents,
and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even
paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.....Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in
the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, Ralph and Tracey could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got
out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place. Then Margo called Ralph, and asked how
things were going and he told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home
terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, Ralph agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had
been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour his lawyers delivered the
paperwork.
A week later Ralph and Tracey stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home -
including the curtain rods!
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