Unit title 8

Intrapersonal skills

Chapter one
Intrapersonal skills:

Introduction:
Interpersonal skills: the ability to interact and communicate well with other people.
Effective helping: to render assistance, or an act that satisfy a need or contribute strength to the other person.

Effective helping has continued to change significantly in two major areas:

1. The nature, process and scope of counselling and therapy.
2. The settings and environments in which counselling and therapy occurs and the diversity of client populations.

Over the past decades counselling and therapy models have evolved from:
• Traditional psychodynamic approaches - which assumes an intrapsychic, individual perspectives.

• Integrated cognitive-behavioural approaches - took an individual problem solving perspective.

• Systemic approaches - focus on family interactions.

• Outcome-oriented brief therapies - which is within a multicultural systems/ ecological perspective.

Who is the helper?

Helper is anyone who assist others to understand, overcome, or deal with internal and external problems.
There are three categories of helper which includes: professionals, non professionals and general human services
worker.
They are all distinguished to one another by the knowledge they possess and the level of skills

1. Professional helper:
• Specialist who undergo extensive graduate-level training in the study of human behaviour.

• They learn applied helping strategies, and experience supervised clinical training while helping individuals, families

and groups.
• Professional helpers include:

i. Psychiatrist: are physicians with the knowledge of psychopharmacology, ability to prescribe drugs, familiar with
medical diseases, treatment and case management of inpatient.
ii. Psychologists: receive training in behavioural sciences, well versed in psychological theory, unique contribution in
psycho-diagnosis and in research methodology.
iii. Counsellors: provide preventive and developmental services.
iv. Social worker: provide service through their knowledge and coordination of available community organisations and
social policies.
v. Psychiatric nurse: supervised for clinical purposes and are trained for prescription privileges.
vi. Activists: human service workers that help with child abuse and so on.

2. Generalist human services workers:

• They include: youth street workers, substance abuse counsellors, day care staff, probation officers, supervisors,

managers, human resource personnel, and church workers.

• Apart from not being trained, they attend seminars on various issues in human relation services from time to time.

3. Non-professional helpers:
• It includes: friends, relatives, colleagues, boyfriends and so on.

Assumptions and implications of the counselling model:

People are responsible for and capable of making their own decisions within the environment.
People always have a freedom choice. People can go seek for help to anyone and everywhere.

Behaviours are purposive and goal-directed.

People need to feel good about themselves and they need conformation from significant (parents/ friends) others.
Example: if you failed a test they will tell you to try again and give you reasonable advice. That will make you feel
much better.
People are capable of learning new behaviours and eliminating or lessening existing behaviours.
People’s personal problems may arise from unfinished business, others could be by incongruence.
Many problems experienced today are societal or systemic rather than interpersonal or intrapersonal.

Major implications of the human relations counselling model for a helper:

• Defines empathetic communication skills at the core effective human relationships.

• Empathetic communication skills can be taught to all helpers.

• Provides room for diversity and flexibility so helpers can learn variety of intervention strategies.

• Modifies and integrate a variety of established approaches and strategies.

• Provides the versatility and flexibility necessary to meet the need for a multicultural heterogeneous population.

• Provides for dealing with feelings, thoughts and behaviours.

• Focuses on positive rather than negative aspects of helper’s life.

• Assists the helper to actively assume responsibility for living and for decision making.

The counselling model in dimensional terms:

The dimensions of the model are divided into three:
i. First dimension is the stages of the helping process.
ii. Second dimension is the skills for helping process.
iii. Third dimension is the issues being dealt with in the helping process.

STAGES:
Relationships,
Strategies: cognitive, affective and behavioural.

SKILLS:
Hearing verbal messages
Perceiving non-verbal messages
Responding

ISSUES:
Topics (sexism, racism, ageism…)
Values (attitudes, beliefs…)

Chapter two
The helping relationship:
This chapter looks at:
1. The helping context
2. Empirically validated helper characteristics
3. The importance of communication for any helping relationship.

The purpose of the helping relationship is to meet the needs of the helpee, not helpers.
Helpers assist and support helpees so they can come to terms with their problems by exploration, understanding and
action.

The effectiveness of relationship depends on:

The helper’s skills in communicating his/her understanding of the hepee’s feelings, worldview and behaviors.
 The helper’s ability to determine and clarify the helpee’s problem.
The helper’s ability to apply appropriate helping strategies which can lead to constructive action on the part of the
helpee.

Kinds of helping relationship:

i. Formal:
- Normally there is appointment or referrals.
- Primary relationship is for helping.
- Client experts concrete help with problem solving.

ii. Informal:
- Contact may or may not be formal.
- Helping relationship is secondary to another type of relationship.
- Client may not expect help with problem solving.

How helping relationships develop:

• Building rapport.

• Helper and helpee meet to focus attention on helpee’s concerns.

• When helper is able to maintain trust, empathy, caring, respect, dependability, acceptance and commitment to the

relationship.
• When the above ingredients are not well maintained, the relationship will eventually terminate.

• When helper and helpee always engage in a mutual relationship.

• Congruence between helper and helpee can affect the relationship either positively or negatively.

• The helping relationship is embedded on, sociocultural, political, economic and organisational context.

What makes a helper effective:

• Successful helper is familiar with many approaches and strategies.

• Helpers must adopt their counselling style to achieve congruence with the value systems of cultural diverse clients.

• Helper must be sensitive to the implication of cultural variables, from a variety of backgrounds.

• Helper must be aware of their underlying beliefs and values in order to aid helpees in clarifying their own.

• Become aware of other people’s values so to help understand, appreciate and accept differences between you and

your client.
• Helper must continually deepen their self-understanding in three domains (affective, cognitive and behavioural)

• Be able to separate their social, economic and cultural values from those of their clients.

Effective communication behaviours: Helpful behaviours

Verbal Non-Verbal

- Uses understandable words - Maintains good eye contact

- Reflects back and clarifies helpee’s statement - Occasional head nodding
- Appropriately interprets - Facial animation
- Summarizes for helpee - Occasional smiling
- Uses verbal reinforces (Mm-hm, I see) - Occasional hand gesture
- Calls helpee by helpee’s preferred name - Close physical proximity to helpee
- Appropriately gives information - Moderate rate of speech
- Answers questions about self as appropriate - Body leans toward helpee
- Uses humor occasionally to reduce tension - Occasional touching as appropriate
- Is non-judgmental and respectful - Relaxed, open posture
- Adds grater understanding to helpee’s statement - Confident vocal tone

Non-helpful behaviours:
Interrupting, giving advice, preaching.
Blaming, cajoling.
Extensive probing and questioning, especially “why” questions.
 Directing, demanding, patronising attitude, over interpretation.
Using words or jargon helpee doesn’t understand.
Straying from topic, intellectualising, overanalysing.
Talking about self too much.
Minimising or disbelieving.
Looking away from helpee.
Sitting far away or turned away from helpee.
Sneering, frowning, scowling, tight mouth.
Shaking pointed finger, distracting gestures.
Yawning, closing eyes.
Unpleasant tone of voice.
Rate of speech too slow or too fast.
Acting rushed.
Looking repeatedly at watch or clock.
Playing with a pen or paperclip.

Characteristics of effective helpers:

Self-awareness
Gender and cultural awareness
Honesty
Congruence
Ability to communicate
Knowledge
Ethical integrity

Helper self-assessment:
Am I aware when I am feeling uncomfortable with a client
Am I aware of my own avoidance strategies
Can I really be honest with the helpee
Do I always feel as though I need to be in control of situations
Do I feel irritated when others do not see things the way I do, or when helpee’s do not respond the way I think they
should
Do I always feel as though I am omnipotent, so to make helpee get better or to feel successful
Am I so problem-orientated that I am always for the negative, the problem and never responding to the positive or
the good
Am I able to be as open with clients as I want them to be with me

Chapter three
Communication skills:

Perceiving nonverbal messages:

- Understanding nonverbal communication is a foundation on which human relationships are built.
- Helper must develop a conscious awareness of nonverbal manifestations and their various meaning.
- Be able to see if the nonverbal behaviours are consistent with the verbal behaviours.
- Nonverbal behaviours provide clues to, not conclusive proof, underlying feelings.

Hearing verbal messages:

- It involves understanding both cognitive and affective content and being able to distinguish between them.
- Your response to a client’s statement will depend on your ability to hear and understand what is being said and to
uncover the underlying message.
- Before you learn to respond appropriately to a client’s statement, you must learn to hear and discriminate between
his/her apparent and underlying cognitive and affective messages.
 Verbal cognitive messages Verbal affective messages

- Cognitive messages involves, talking about
things, people etc.
- A client is often more comfortable talking about
thoughts or behaviours than actual feelings.
- The cognitive theme that the helper focuses on
affects the direction of the ensuing discussion.
- The helper must respond to and focus on one
major theme at a time in order to clarify and
explore all aspects of the situation.
- Messages are communicated to us verbally and
nonverbally.
- They involve feelings: emotions that may be
directly or indirectly be expressed.
- These feelings can be grouped into four
categories: anger, sadness, happiness, and, fear.
- Helper must be able to listen to the client’s
messages and identify his/her feelings rather than
project your own onto the client.

Responding verbally and nonverbally:

Helper must be skilled in responsive listening
Responsive listening is defined as attending and responding to the verbal, nonverbal, cognitive and affective
messages.
Helper must refine hearing and perceiving skills as well as developing awareness of oneself.
Helper must be able to communicate genuine acceptance and understanding issues by clarifying the helpee’s
statement.
Helper must be congruent in his/her verbal and nonverbal communication.

i. Nonverbal responding:
- Communicate warmth, understanding, attentiveness and efficacy in congruence with verbal behaviours
- Helpers must adopt their nonverbal behaviours to a client’s level of comfort

ii. Verbal responding:

- Show that you truly hear your client and you understand them and their perspective.
- Be able to communicate your ability to help.
- Be able to increase the client’s self-understanding and self-exploration.
- Focus on major themes and clarify inconsistencies.
- Reflect back the underlying feelings.
- Learn about languages and hints that are culture specific.

Advanced verbal response skills:

• Paraphrasing: restarting the content of what is said (synonyms)

• Reflecting: communicating our understanding of helpees concerns and perspectives

• Using questions: “open-ended, what can you tell me about this?” closed-ended, can also repeat a word from their

statement. ‘I’m just tired of everything” can also use but/and…

• Clarifying: an attempt to focus on or understand the helpees statement. “Sounds to me like…” or “I’m confused

about…”.
• Interpreting: add something to the helpees statement, tries to make the client understand their underlying feelings. “I

just can’t seem to bring myself to study for psychology” “you seem to resent having to do something you don’t want
to do”.
• Confronting: honest feedback about what is really going on ‘‘seems you are playing games here’’.

• Informing: share objective and factual information.

• Summarising: type of clarification.

Chapter four
Building relationships and establishing goals:

Conditions affecting the relationship stage:

i. Initial contact
- Interview client as to establish the helping relationship
- Set boundaries and establish goals.
ii. Duration
- Depends on the nature of the relationship (formal/informal)
- The nature of the problem (short term/Long term)
- The setting in which the relationship occurs

iii. Applications and forms

- Its better for helpee to complete applications and forms before establishing a relationship.

iv. Record keeping

- It is legally allowed and very important for helper to keep basic written information.

v. Facilities
- Have meetings in a place where helpee’s confidentiality can be ensured.

vi. Timing
- Try by all means to keep appointments as scheduled.

vii. Other people

- Decide accordingly if brining another person in the relationship will help or hinder your client.

Five critical steps in relationship stages:

STEP ONE: INITIATION/ ENTRY

- A warm smiling welcome is the best way to start your sessions.
- Draw out the helpee by making responsive statement than asking questions.
- Working with reluctant and resistant clients
‣ Be able to explore the reasons for reluctance.
‣ Reluctance can emanate from fear, shame, embarrassment and exposure of secrets.
‣ Reluctance can be diminished by exhibiting patience and empathy.
‣ Resistance can occur when trustful relationship has not yet been established.

- Four categories of clients resistance

‣ Amount of verbalisation, content of messages, style of communication and attitude toward helper and helping
sessions.
‣ Clients show resistance by verbalising too little, limiting verbalising to safe topics, missing sessions, not paying
attention, client talking nonstop.
‣ Helper can reduce defensiveness by changing the pace, topic or level of discussion.
‣ Resistance can be reduced by sharing an awareness of the resistance with helpee
‣ Helper can modify their style of helping or change strategies.
‣ Helpers often experience anxiety, frustration and anger by struggling against the resistance.

STEP TWO: CLARIFICATION OF PRESENTING PROBLEM

- At some instances it may take time and patience to uncover the problem that the helpee has.
- Some clients might not even be aware of their real concerns.
- Through responsive listening helper assist the helpee in sorting out different presenting concerns at hand.
- It is important to take your time to get to the real problem and not rush too quickly into problem solving.

STEP THREE: DEFINITION OF STRUCTURE/ CONTRACT

- Once the problem has been clarified, helper decide whether he/she will be able to provide help in solving the
problem.
- If not then appropriate referral need to be made.
- Agreement is the key factor in this stage.
- You can either make a contract which include time of sessions, length of sessions, site of sessions, fees, estimate
number of sessions needed, who may or will attend the sessions, procedure for changing terms, identification of
helper and helpee expectations.
STEP FOUR: INTENSIVE EXPLORATION OF PROBLEMS
- Here you assist the helpee to look at the aspects, implications and ramification of the problem through responsive
listening.
- Know what the problem is, who has the responsibility for the problem and to what extent the helpee is able to effect
some problem solving.
- Since the helpee’s problem is part of where he/she lives, the helpee is most likely to feel helpless, hopeless and
frustrated.
- At this stage the helper learns more about the helpee’s thinking process, feelings and behaviors.
- You start to discover the helpee’s coping strategies, ambitions, beliefs, attitude and relationships with others.
- You encourage helpee to express thoughts and feelings he/she is experiencing without fear of being judged or
instructed.
- You promote trust, genuineness and empathy so to create a safe climate for helpee to explore his/her self-awareness.

STEP FIVE: ESTABLISHING OF POSSIBLE GOALS AND OBJECTIVES

- After exploring the problem, the helper and helpee develop goals and objectives for the relationship.
- It can be accomplished in a systematic or casual fashion, depending on the style, theoretical orientation and helping
context.
- Goal may either be outcome, focusing on problem resolution or process, focusing on the relationship between helper
and helpee.
- They both determine mutually which goals are feasible, given the nature and conditions of the particular helping
relationship.