MOCK EXAM

PART 1
1. After making an investigation, the fire department reached the conclusion that blaze was set
intentionally.
Unburied verbs / noun habits / zombie nouns
After investigating, the fire department concluded that …..
2. Although they began as a side business for Disney. Destination weddings now represent a
major income source.
Fragment
Although … Disney, Destination weddings …..
3. Because his laptop was small in size, he could carry it everywhere.
Empty words
Because ….. small, he ……
4. Every employee must wear his photo identification on the job.
Bias language / gender bias
….. wear their
5. Pertaining to your request, the above-referenced items (printer toner and supplies) are being
sent to your Oakdale office, as per your telephone conversation of April 1.
Trite business phrases + empty words
As you requested in your telephone conversation of April 1, the printer toner and supplies are
……
6. Plans for the new community center cannot go forward without full community support.
Negative thinking/expression + redundancy/slang/colloquial language
Plans ….. can proceed/advance with full community support.
7. There is a password-checker that is now available that can automatically evaluate the strength
of your password.
Opening filler / indirect language
The password-checker now can automatically …..
8. This is an announcement to tell you that all computer passwords must be changed every six
months for security purposes.
Long lead-in
All computer ……..
9. When collecting information before purchasing a tablet, the Web proved to be my best
resource.
Dangling modifier
When collecting ……, I found the Web was the best resource.
10. Kindly inform the undersigned whether or not your representative will be making a visitation
in the near future.
Indirect language / not using conversational tone of voice + Redundancy + Noun habit + flabby
expression (compound preposition)
Please inform me whether your representative will visit soon

PART 2
CAREFREE CATERING
1449 Webster Blvd., Athens, GA 30601
Voice: 706-288-3022 Fax: 706-288-2222

April 20, 2011

1
 Mr. Tom Landon, Social Chairman
Zeta Tau Omega Fraternity
220 Gaines Commons
Athens, GA 30601

Dear Mr. Landon:

Thank you for asking us to cater your spring party. We appreciate that you have been trusting
us for organizing your exciting and engaging parties. By working together, we can make it a
great success.

Some of the services and estimated charges are listed below so that you can review them with
your committee.

• Table and chair set-up $100

• Cleanup $3/person
• Food $7.50/person
• Tablecloths, band stage, bar setup $250
• Soft drinks $.50/person
• Servers $10/hour/person

Changes in our policy will help us professionalize customer service quality, which will
satisfy every need of our loyal customers like you, Mr. Landon.

After you’ve met with your committee and formed an idea of your budget, please give me a
call at (706) 288-3022. And remember, you can trim costs by providing some of the labor and
helping with the cleanup. I’ll look forward to discussing all your party needs.

Yours sincerely,

PART 3: As the boss of Forward Link Electronic Solutions, write to all staff, refusing requests of
letting staff’s family and friends to participate in the annual sports tournament of the company. This is
an employee-only event.
Format: 2 (Memo) From/To/Subject line (clear)/Initial names/single space within + double space
between/ no greetings
Negative message: 8
- Buffering: appreciation / compliment / agreement
- Reasoning:
o regulation (number of teams/number of members: fixed/scheduled)
o scope of the tournament (over the budget if the scope is extended)
o Purpose: bonding / internal gathering / understanding
- Cushioning the bad news
o Subordinating clause: Although your family members can participate as supporters for our
tournament, we hope they will have a great time together with us.
o We hope to welcome your family members to join our tournament in the future when we
can reschedule our budget for an extended event.
o Alternative/compromise: year-end party / holiday/ vacation ……

2
- Closing pleasantly
o Follow-up:
▪ Register: who? How many? Contact? Deadline?
Wish for a successful tournament

OPTION 2
PERSUASIVE

- GAIN ATTENTION
o LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP (SUPPORT, APPRECIATION)
- BUILD INTEREST?
o STATISTICS/FACTS/FIGURES RELATED TO THE ECONOMY
CONSEQUENCES BECAUSE OF COVID-19
- REDUCE RESISTANCE?
o DELAY THE INCREASE
o BANK POLICY
o OPTIONS (SHARING THE SPACE WITH OTHERS)
- MOTIVATE ACTION?
o 6-MONTH VOUCHER (PARTY)
o INVITATION (DISCUSS)
o RESTRENGTHEN YOUR LIKELIHOOD TO FURTHER YOUR
PARTNERSHIP