KẾT QUẢ ĐÁNH GIÁ KỸ NĂNG VIẾT (WRITING)

Họ tên Học viên Nguyễn Phương Dung Ngày test 21/01/2024

Giáo viên chấm bài Phan Thành Nhân

Điểm số 6/9

Correction (Chỉnh sửa bài viết)

Student’s essay:
The pie chart illustrates the major causes of global land degradation, and the table
indicates how three regions of the world were affected by these causes in the 1990s.

Overall, it is immediately apparent that the major factor that causes the worldwide
land degradation is over-grazing and forest destruction. In addition, the total
percentage of degraded land in Europe was highest.

With regard to global land degradation, the leading cause was over-grazing at 35%.
Over-cultivation was responsible for the degradation of 28% of land in the world and
also cutting down so many trees, account for 30%. Other reasons were only at 7% left.

Regarding the table, Europe had the highest proportion of land that was less fertile at
23%. Beside that, the major cause was deforestation at 9.8%, whereas over-farming
had the least at 5.5%. Oceania had 13% and this was caused by overgrazing at 11.3%

Teacher’s correction:
The pie chart illustrates the major causes of global land degradation, and the table
indicates how three regions of the world were affected by these causes in the 1990s.

Overall, it is clear immediately apparent that the predominant factors contributing to

less productive land the major factor that causes the worldwide land degradation
wereis over-grazing and deforestationforest destruction. In addition, Europe stood
out as the region most significantly damaged by this environmental issuethe total
percentage of degraded land in Europe was highest.

With regard to global land degradation, the leading cause was over-grazing,
accounting for at 35%. Over-cultivation was responsible for the degradation of 28% of
land in the world and also cutting down so many trees, accountingaccount for 30%.
Other reasons were only 7%only at 7% left.

Regarding the table, Europe had the highest proportion of land that was less fertile,
which constituted at 23%. NotablyBeside that, deforestation emerged as the primary
 contributor, accounting for 9.8%the major cause was deforestation at 9.8%, whereas
over-farming represented the least significant factor had the least at 5.5%. In terms of
Oceania, had 13% of its land faced reduced fertility, predominantly attributed to and
this was caused by overgrazing at 11.3%

Kiểm tra lỗi không hợp lệ

Bài viết hợp lệ

Detailed remarks (Đánh giá chi tiết)

1. Task Response/ Task Achievement (Khả năng trả lời bài thi): 6
Feedback on Task Achievement: The student's report covers all the main points in
the provided data and follows the proper format of an IELTS Writing Task 1
(Introduction, overview of main trends/changes/stages, body paragraphs).
However, some information could be presented more accurately and clearly.
Suggestion for improvement: Provide more specific information in the overview
and body paragraphs.
2. Lexical Resources (Vốn từ vựng):6
Feedback on Lexical Resource: The writer uses a range of vocabulary, but there are
some inaccuracies, repetitions, and imprecise word choices. Some less common
lexical items are attempted, but not always successful.
Suggestion for improvement: Use vocabulary with more precision and accuracy.
Aim to use less common lexical items effectively.
3. Grammatical Range and Accuracy (Độ chính xác và đa dạng trong ngữ
pháp):6
Feedback on Grammatical Range & Accuracy: The writer generally maintains
grammatical control, but there are noticeable errors that hinder overall clarity. The
use of complex structures is limited.
Suggestion for improvement: Focus on improving grammar accuracy, especially in
complex structures. Aim to use a wider range of sentence structures.
4. Coherence and Cohesion (Tính liên kết, mạch lạc và tổ chức bài
viết):5
Feedback on Coherence & Cohesion: The writing has clear paragraphing and
general progression. The writer uses some linking words effectively, but there are
instances of repetition and lack of clarity in linking ideas.
Suggestion for improvement: Vary the usage of linking words and avoid
unnecessary repetition. Ensure that ideas flow smoothly and are linked coherently.

Lưu ý: Kết quả kiểm tra sẽ được bảo lưu trong vòng 02 tháng sau khi làm bài.

Trân trọng cảm ơn,

ICAN IELTS team