WRITING Examiner feedback: A short message

Part 6 Question 31 Sample answer B

Your English friend Chris was ill and hasn’t got the Hi Chris,
information about the school trip. Write an email We’re going to London to the school trip. I’m very
to Chris. exciting because I didn’t went before. The school
Tell Chris: trip price cost £20 for each person.
• when the school trip is happening I hope you feeling better soon!
• where you are going See you soon,
• how much it costs. Leyla
Write 25 words or more.
Examiner’s comments
Band 3
Sample answer A Satisfactory attempt at the task. The target reader
Hi Chris, is informed about bullet points two and three, but
bullet point one (when the school trip is happening)
The school trip will be next week, on Wednesday
is missing from the message. The text is coherent,
June 24th. We’re going the Science Museum. It’s
and punctuation and the simple linking word because
£14.50 each. I hope you are feel well enough to
are used to help organise the text. Some simple
come!
grammatical forms are used with some control.
See you soon,
Jake
Content 3
Examiner’s comments Organisation 3
Band 5 Language 3
All three parts of the message are fully communicated.
There are only some minor grammatical mistakes. Very Total 9
good attempt at the task. The content of the message
is relevant to the task. The text is coherent and basic
cohesive devices (It’s) are used. Everyday vocabulary Sample answer C
is used appropriately and even though there are some
hi
errors with the grammatical forms used, the meaning
is still completely clear. sorry you ill
the trip is go park for having picnic and make sports
in morning
Content 5 david
Organisation 5
Examiner’s comments
Language 5 Band 2
Total 15 Poor attempt at the task. Only bullet point two is
clearly addressed in the text, which means the target
reader is only very minimally informed. The first bullet
point (when the trip will take place) is rather unclear
as he just writes ‘in morning’. The final content point is
not addressed at all. There is limited control of simple
grammatical forms and the script is short (18 words).

Content 1
Organisation 1
Language 1
Total 3

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 WRITING Examiner feedback: A story
Part 7 Question 32
Look at the three pictures.
Write the story shown in the pictures.
Write 35 words or more.

Sample answer A Sample answer B

James needed a new pair of jean but he hated
going shopping. So he decided find a pair online.
He chose a pair and ordered them. When it arrived
he felt very excited. He quickly tried on them.
Unfortunately they were the wrong size and they
were too big for him. They looked terrible! He felt
very sad.
Examiner’s comments
Band 5
Very good attempt at the task. All of the content of
the story is relevant to the task and the connections
between the pictures are clearly shown using
basic linking words and cohesive devices (but, So,
When), so the reader can fully understand the story.
Vocabulary is generally used appropriately, and
even though there are some small errors with the
grammatical forms used, the meaning is still clear.
Content 5
Organisation 5
Language 5
Total 15
At the home the boy looked at clothes on computer.
He bought jeans and the man come at the door.
Then the boy wears jeans but jeans are very big and
he is not happy.
Examiner’s comments
Band 3
Good attempt at the task. All three content points
of the story are communicated, although very little
is mentioned about the second picture. The target
reader is on the whole informed. The text is coherent,
and some basic linking words and cohesive devices
(and and Then) are used. Basic vocabulary is used
reasonably appropriately. The change between
present and past tenses in the text (‘He bought jeans
and the man come at the door.’) may impede the
reader’s understanding.
Content 4
Organisation 4
Language 3
Total 11

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 WRITING Examiner Feedback: A Story

Sample answer C
He sitting computer
He shoping clothes
He got clothes
He wears troser
He looking in miror
He unhappy

Examiner’s comments
Band 2
The candidate has attempted the task, but this is a
collection of unconnected and very simple sentences
rather than a story. Although the individual sentences
are comprehensible, the links between the events are
not shown and the candidate lacks the language to
convey the intended meaning clearly, so the reader
understands little of the story. Some basic vocabulary
is used correctly (unhappy, computer, clothes, wears).
A few simple grammatical forms are used with only
limited control.

Content 2
Organisation 1
Language 1
Total 4

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