There's always a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, or is there?

Part 1: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

I am Nosipho Ndamase, 18 years of age and a rural girl. I live in a small village near Tsomo in
the Eastern Cape. I am xhosa, a proud one if I may add. I left school when I was in grade 11,
once I failed the grade I decided to drop out. I live with my mother, Nobesuthu(53), father
Wilfred(64), older brother Bandile(25) and younger brother Lwazi(14). My older brother is a taxi
driver, he is employed by a wealthy man from another village. He’s the family’s breadwinner,
along with my father who gets welfare money.
Our village is very small, we have less than 80 people. Pretty much everyone knows everyone.
The church is a place where most villagers meet – after Kwa Bra Xola’s Place of course. Our
church influences the village in many ways. Girls wear dresses, pants are not allowed in church
and also outside church. I don’t understand why girls are not allowed to wear pants when God
and his people used to wear long dresses. The pastor talks ill of the city, he says the city is an
evil place. Half of the congregation want him out, you tell me which place is more evil.
Mthembu’s son, Melikhaya, went to the city to look for work in 2005. It’s 2010 now and he hasn’t
return. Ntombizanele, my friend’s older sister went to go study in the city last year. She came
back with a baby and her family decided she must not return to the city. Her family called the
pastor to pray for her. The next Sunday she stood in front of the church and apologised.
Everytime I ask her about the city she just tells me the city is okay. I’ve always wanted to visit
the city, maybe get a job and provide for my family. Obviously my parents would never approve
of me going to the city.
Whenever I watch Generations the soapie, I get more interested in acting. I want to be an
actress, I don’t want to be a housewife like my parents foresee me to be. I wish my parents
were not so old fashion. I wish the church didn’t influence our village that much. I wish I had a
sister, my brothers are annoying and they always gang up on me.
My two friends, Zimkhitha and Noluthando are curious to see what this big bad city is all about.
Well, at least Noluthando is curious because Zimkhitha is very reluctant. She’s like the pastor,
she thinks the city is evil. Deep down I know Zimkhitha would love to go to the city but she can’t
because her boyfriend promised to marry her. It’s been 2 years of promises, and she still thinks
her boyfriend is “waiting for the right time”.
I can’t wait to go to the city when the opportunity presents itself.
***********
It was a quiet Saturday morning, everyone was sleeping. I think it was about 06:15am. I heard
someone crying or something, whatever it was. I was scared, I listened attentively and for some
odd reason I thought it was a mermaid. I heard stories about mermaids that lived in the dam
nearby. Apparently they cry when something bad happened. My older brother’s friend, Zolani
had an encounter with a mermaid. He was coming from Bra Xola’s Place, the tavern. He was
drunk, when he passed the dam he heard a mermaid singing his name. He ran like a mad man,
I don’t know if the story is true but mermaids freak me out.
When I heard the cry becoming more and more louder I sat up. I heard my parents getting out of
their bedroom. My younger brother is a heavy sleeper, you can bang pots in his ears and he still
won’t wake up. I walked on my tippy toes to the sitting area. I saw my parents peeping through
the window. My mother was talking softly to my father, I couldn’t make out what she was saying
but she had a serious face. I heard my father saying, “it’s a baby”, what? I quickly went to peep,
I was curious, is it really a baby? My father unlocked the door and my mom said, “Hayi Jola!”
(No Jola) she was terrified. My dad looked at my mom, they were having a silent eyeing fight.
They were talking with their eyes, making funny facial expressions. I think my mom was scared
for my dad to open the door. What if it was a mermaid? Or some evil thing? Or whatever it was.
My dad was sure that was a baby.
Suddenly the crying stopped. It was a bit dark outside. I saw my dad locking the door again,
once again my mother wins. My dad is a stubborn man, it took a few nasty looks to convince
him it wasn’t safe to open the door. I sat on the chair gently because it was wobbly. “I wonder
what was that”, my mother said. My dad was sticking to his story, “it was a baby” he said. After a
few minutes there was a knock on the door. My parents looked at each other, my mom was
shaking her head. The person knocking shouted, “Jola! Vula ndim uDlamini” (Jola! Open it’s me
Dlamini). Oh, I know that voice. It’s Dlamini, our neighbor. My dad opened the door, Dlamini was
holding something wrapped in big blankets.
“My wife heard a noise outside and ordered me to check what is was. I saw blankets covering
this little one”, said Dlamini. Wait, no, wait; what? My dad looked at my mom. I was so lost,
who’s baby is that? Obviously not mine. My dad checked the baby, took the baby and thanked
Dlamini.
I stood up, I wanted to see the baby. My mom told me to go to sleep, I told her I wasn’t sleepy.
My dad said I must go to my bedroom. I looked at them and left. When I was in my room, I
couldn’t sleep. A baby? I wonder who’s baby that is. Baby? No ways. Maybe the person who
abandoned the baby just left the baby there. I mean, the baby has no ties with anyone in my
family. Of course the baby has no ties with anyone in my family, really.
I heard my older brother arriving. His taxi is a skorokoro. When he entered the house all hell
broke loose. My parents and my brother had an argument. I heard my mom say, “You going to
take care of this baby”. My brother stormed out of the house, I heard the baby crying. The
baby’s cry became distant and more distant, it’s clear my brother left with the child.
In the afternoon, my parents called me and my brother to the sitting area. They told us to not tell
anyone about the baby, it’s not their business. My dad added, “Even Dlamini, his wife, his
children, the pastor or anyone”. My brother was confused, “What baby?” My mom said “good”.
We swore not to tell anyone.
Mxm
**********
After the baby incident, my parents learned to accept the baby. He lived with us, yes it’s a baby
boy. My parents named the baby “Abongile”. My older brother bought baby food and clothes for
the young one. My older brother, Bandile is a taxi driver so he’s always away. Me and my
mother look after the baby, I do the babysitting the most.
One sunny Tuesday afternoon, I was sitting under a tree. The baby was sleeping, my parents
were visiting a family member. Suddenly, I saw an unfamiliar face. This girl was short, she was
wearing a long colourful dress. She came towards me, I stood up. “Hi, can I help you”, I said.
She looked around and asked if the baby was fine. Oh, so this is the girl who left the baby? She
looks so young, maybe she’s my age or younger. “Yes, the baby is fine. Who are you”, I asked
curiously. She told me she’s the mother of the child and Bandile’s ex girlfriend. What? So this is
what my parents were hiding from us?! She asked to see the baby, I told her my parents were
not at home which motivated her more.
I led her in the house, the baby was sleeping. “Oh, Mandla mntanam!”(Oh, Mandla my child),
she sighed. Wow, she knows the baby is her child now? I was surprised. My parents named the
baby Abongile, Mandla? Okay. She wanted to take the baby, I couldn’t let her. I used my dad’s
Nokia 1100 phone to call my brother, Bandile.
After about 20mins my brother arrived. He parked his taxi, banged the taxi door. He was very
furious. “Anelisa mnqundu wakho ufuna ntoni apha?”(Anelisa your ass what do you want here?)
he asked furiously. The last time I saw my brother this angry was when my parents called him
“ingcongconi” (mosquito) because he always rely on them for everything. The girl was so
scared, I don’t blame her though. Bandile slapped the girl, just when he tried to beat her even
more my parents arrived and stopped the fight. My parents confronted the girl and they didn’t
give her the baby. They wanted her parents to fetch the baby not her.
It all felt like a scene from Generations, there was too much drama.
Hayisuka!
**********
Every Sunday everyone seems to be in a rush. The church starts at 09:00am but there’s an
early morning praying session that starts at 7:30am and ends at 8:30am.
Everyone is ready to go church, my brothers, my parents and me. I always walk with my friends,
Noluthando and Zimkhitha to church. When we were going to church, we saw a tall light skinned
beautiful lady. At first we thought the lady was “umlungu”(white person), we argued with each
other. As the lady was approaching us she smiled and stopped in front of us. Kengoku? (And
now?). “Hi guys”, she said with a smile on her face. We looked at each other and greeted her
back. She asked if Melusi was home, uhm, which home? His house or Bra Xola’s Place? I told
her I don’t know. She asked us to help her find Melusi. We agreed to help. We went to Melusi’s
house and nobody was home. We went to Bra Xola’s Place and, surprise, surprise we found
him.
Melusi gave us the house keys. This lady introduced herself as Linda. She lived in
Johannesburg, wow, I was so happy to hear that. I was curious to hear more about this
Johannesburg. Linda was so confident, I really liked her personality. My friend, Zimkhitha was
panicking. She kept saying, “We’re going to be late for church”. Shut up! Linda invited us to
have drinks with her, cooldrinks. I couldn’t say no, I said yes. My friends looked at me, I know
they knew I wasn’t going to church. They left me, I ran after them and told them to not say a
word to my parents and they promised. I trust them, but I somehow trust Noluthando more.
Melusi’s house looked great inside, I’ve never really entered the house. Linda said I can make
myself comfortable, wow, the couch was so comfortable. Linda’s suitcases were pink and so
beautiful. She asked me what I was wearing, I was confused. “Is this how you guys dress
around here?” she asked. What’s wrong with my dress? Mxm. I quickly changed the subject,
“How is the city?” I asked. She told me the city is great and much better than “this place”. I told
her I always wanted to go to the city but my parents would never let me. I told her about my
friend’s sister, Ntombizanele who was punished after going to the city and coming back with a
baby. She was shocked.
Linda seemed to be the only person who understood me. She told me she had a good feeling
about me. I asked her if she knew Karabo, she looked so confused. “Karabo? There are lots of
people named Karabo in Johannesburg, which Karabo?” she asked. I told her Karabo from
Generations, she laughed. What’s funny? She couldn’t stop laughing, I felt stupid. “You think
Karabo and other celebrities are friends with everyone from Johannesburg?” she asked. I didn’t
answer her because I was speechless. But she told me she only knew Karabo from tv and not
personally. Whatever! I told her I want to be on Generations, she smiled. “I see you’re a big
dreamer”, she said.
I told her everything that happened in the village before she came. I told her about the baby
incident, my brother slapping his ex girlfriend and the pastor. She seemed to love me.
When I saw people coming back from church, I quickly ran home. I took the key which was
under a brick and opened the house. When my parents got home they didn’t even notice I
wasn’t in church.
Thanks God!
**********
Days went by and I started learning more about Linda. She was 23 years old and had a 2 year
old son. She’s dating a Congolese man, her baby daddy. She lives in Sandton in a big house.
Her boyfriend has multiple businesses and she is living a good life.
One Friday afternoon, Linda was teaching me how to use her touch screen phone. She told me
she was leaving on Sunday. I was sad, I really liked her a lot. “You can come with me to
Johannesburg, that’s if you want to come”, she said. Wow! I told her I would be more than
happy to come with her. The only problem I had was my family, how am I going to tell them?
They don’t even know I want to be on Generations. I decided I will write them a letter.
My friend, Zimkhitha kept telling me how evil the city is. “I would never go to the city even if they
gave me a thousand rand”, she said. Linda gave her the nickname, “stiff head” because she’s
so stubborn.
Linda would call all of my friends and tell them beautiful things about the city. Almost everyday
she told us beautiful things about the city. She told us stories of the places she’s been to.
Sometimes I would glance at Zimkhitha and she would be smiling. I knew she likes the city but
she’s too influenced by the pastor, her family and the villagers.

Every night I started having dreams about the city. I never been there but I feel like I’ve been
there because of my dreams. I also had a chat with Karabo in my dream, that made me more
excited. Maybe my ancestors are trying to tell me something. Maybe if I go to the city I will be an
actress and be famous.
I noticed something very strange, for the past two days the same car came to visit my parents.
Everytime the car came, I was sitting under the tree with Linda and my friends. It was a white
car with black windows, I don’t know the car’s name but it was a nice car.
I wonder what’s going on?

Part 2: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

The more I think about the city, the more I want to leave this place.
That Friday evening the same car came to visit my parents. This time my father went out.
What’s going on? Maybe my parents were negotiating about the baby? Who knows? After my
father finished talking with the man in the car they came inside. The man was accompanied by a
young man. They introduced themselves, the man was Patrick and the young man was Mvuyisi.
Apparently Patrick was a servant who served Mvuyisi’s family. Mvuyisi was a prince from
another village. They invited me to a maiden ceremony. The prince was going to choose his
princess, all virgins were invited to dance for the royal family.
They told me my parents already gave them permission to send me to virginity testers. The old
women test if girls are really virgins. They told me it was part of the maiden ceremony process.
My parents were smiling. My dad said, “Look at this prince, he is handsome. He’s looking for a
girl to steal his heart”. I looked at the prince, yes he’s handsome but I don’t want to get married.
“I would love to see you there Nosipho”, said the prince. I faked a smile. What am I going to do?
I can’t go to this maiden ceremony, I have to leave on Sunday. I didn’t talk for a while. “What’s
wrong? Do you know how many girls would love to marry the prince? You should be honored to
be invited. A no would be an insult”, said Patrick the servant. I couldn’t say no, I just couldn’t. I
told them I am happy to be one of the chosen girls. My parents rejoiced as if the prince asked
me to marry him.
They told me the virginity test will take place on Sunday at 05:30am. A taxi will fetch me and the
other girls so I must be ready at 04:30am. I was angry but I didn’t want to show my anger, I
faked a smile and said, “Okay”. Patrick went to the car and came back with a traditional attire for
me to wear on Sunday. “If you pass the virginity test we will give you a white traditional attire to
wear to the maiden ceremony. The white represents purity”, said Patrick. I kept nodding to
everything they said. Patrick and the prince left, my parents couldn’t stop talking about the
“respectful humble young man”.
I couldn’t sleep, I kept thinking about the maiden ceremony and the city. I knew for sure It’s the
city over the maiden ceremony. Linda told me beautiful things about the city, she never
mentioned the evil spirit or the devil possessing people to do bad things like the pastor said. My
main reason to not want to be at that maiden ceremony is not because I’m not a virgin, oops!
My parents think I’m a virgin, I lost my virginity a year ago. I was curious, I wanted to feel what
it’s like to have sex. I only had sex only once. I have to find a way out of this problem.
Shit!
**********
I woke up feeling good, it was a sunny Saturday. I sang as I was sweeping the ground. I saw
Linda smiling as she was coming towards me. “You woke up on the good side of the bed”, she
said. I told her I can’t wait for tomorrow. “You told your parents?” she asked. I quickly checked if
someone was behind me, I saw my younger brother. He greeted at Linda and left. I said softly,
“No”. She was confused, “You’re a naughty girl”, she whispered.
After I was done sweeping, we went to Melusi’s house where Linda was a guest. I told her about
the virginity test and the maiden ceremony, she laughed it off. I didn’t find that funny! She told
me to be strong and that she’ll tell me when her boyfriend sent the money. I told her about my
plan. “The virginity test will be at 05:30am, I am going to escape and come here. I know my
parents will go to church so I will sneak in the house, pack my bags and leave with you.
Unfortunately, your boyfriend hasn’t sent the money so…I don’t know”, I told her. Linda looked
at me like I was crazy, “You should really be an actress”, she said laughing. I smiled, at least
she sees potential.
I spent my Saturday afternoon with Linda. My friends were not talk to me, they didn’t greet me
when they saw me. When I greeted them they didn’t really answer me. I’m sure they’re angry at
me for spending more time with Linda. I don’t blame them.
Linda got a message from her boyfriend, she told me her boyfriend sent her money. Finally my
plan will come to life. My mom kept calling me because she wanted me to get ready for
tomorrow.
When my family was having supper, my mom kept talking about the virginity test. “Tomorrow I’m
not going to church, I’m leaving with Nosipho at 5:30am”, she said. What? No! She can’t leave
with me. My plan is ruined, what am I going to do? I went to sleep with a broken heart.
I was sleeping when my mom woke me up at 4am. I turned on the kettle. There’s been
electricity in my village for 2 years now, I’m thankful for electricity or as many villagers call it,
“electric”. I quickly took a bath. I wore the traditional attire, after I was done I faked a stomach
ache. “Ouch!” I screamed. My mom came running, “Nosipho? Nosipho what’s wrong?” she
asked. I told her I had a stomach ache, she said maybe I was nervous. Really? She ran to her
bedroom and came back with a panado pill. That’s the only cure for every illness, panado.
I took the pill and swallowed it with water. The taxi came at 5:30am and my mom came with me.
The girls in the taxi started singing traditional songs. It was dark outside, not having street lights
made it even darker.
*sigh*
**********
When the taxi arrived at the venue, many taxis were already there. I’ve never been to this
village, it had a sign written in bold capital letters “WELCOME TO KWA XHOSA CULTURAL
VILLAGE”. The huts were very colourful, there was only one bricked house. The bricked house
had patterns painted on it, there were flowers planted on the side. The village had lamps, it
wasn’t that dark.
We were all wearing the same traditional attire. There were many girls. The old women of the
village told us about the process. They told us how they can see if the girl is not a virgin. I was
so nervous. I met a girl by the name of Nontobeko. She was from Mthatha and she was 20
years old. We talked for a few minutes, she told me she once worked in Johannesburg. “I
worked there for a year. Johannesburg is a good place for hustlers, but I prefer Durban”, she
said. I asked her what she meant, before she explained further my mom grabbed my arm and
said, “Come, you should stand in the front row”. I waved at Nontobeko, and left with my mom.
I was so scared, my mom gave me less time to react. I was part of the first group, I don’t think
my plan will work. I never knew the distance between this place and my home was this far.
When I was standing in the queue my heart was beating fast. I didn’t want to speak to anyone
but this girl kept talking to me. I wasn’t in the mood, I answered her by nodding or shaking my
head.
So far all the girls that came out of the hut passed the virginity test. Now it was my turn. I was
shaking, I entered the hut. The old women were not that old, maybe they were my mom’s age or
younger. There were three women in the hut. They introduced themselves, one was MaDlamini,
the other Mam’Vundla and Mam’Gcirha. Mam’Vundla told me not to be afraid, they wouldn’t
take long. There were blankets on the floor, I was looking around for blood but I didn’t find it.
“Lay on your back and open your legs. Don’t forget to take off your panties, love”, Mam’Gcirha
said. The other two women were busy doing something else.
I did what Mam’Gcirha told me to do, Mam’Vundla kicked my panties. Mam’Gcirha went down
on her knees. I was looking at the ceiling, praying to myself. Mam’Gcirha called the other
women. I knew it! I knew it! Mam’Gcirha told me to sit up. I sat up and the women were talking
amongst each other in the corner. Mam’Vundla went out, oh no! Maybe she was going to tell my
mother I wasn’t a virgin. “Have you had sex before young lady?” asked Mam’Gcirha.
“No, I have never had sex in my life”, I lied.
“Why are you not tight?” asked Mam’Gcirha.
Oh no! I had to lie, fast!
“I was riding my brother’s bicycle and I injured myself”, I lied again. I was sweating.
Mam’Vundla came in, she was alone. Thanks God!
“That explains it! Bicycles are not for girls, the injury broke your virginity. What counts is the fact
that you never had sex. Technically you are a virgin”, said Mam’Gcirha.
I was so happy. I stood up, wore my panties and hugged the women.
I went out and my mom was waiting for me, she was so proud of me. We left.
When we got home my dad and my brother were getting ready for church. The time was
7:30am. My mom kept telling my dad how ugly the girls were and that they don’t stand a chance
with her baby girl. My mom changed her mind, she was going to church. I was so happy. She
asked if I was going, I told her I was tired and she understood. My family went to church, as
soon as they left I went to Linda. I met my friends when I was going to Linda. “I’m not going to
church today”, I told them. They didn’t say a word, they just left.
Linda already packed her bags, she told me I must get ready. I was so excited, I went home and
packed my clothes. I don’t have many clothes, there wasn’t much to pack anyway. I wrote a
letter to my parents:

Dear Mom & Dad

I wrote this letter to tell you how much I love you. I’m going away to look for work, I’m coming
home with lots of money. I’m going to provide for the family, I’m going to build you a big
beautiful house. I’m not going forever.
I’ll miss you, mom and dad. Send my goodbyes to Bandile and Lwazi.

Nosipho.
I quickly locked the door and placed the keys under a stone. I then left with Linda.
My life is about to get better!

**********
When we arrived in our small town, we took a taxi to Johannesburg.
The road to Johannesburg was long and tiring. I kept Asking Linda how far are we from
Johannesburg and she kept saying “very far”. The taxi stopped at a few petrol garages and we
would go pee or buy something to eat. I was so excited, finally I was going to the city. I didn’t
miss my family nor did I miss my friends.
Linda fell asleep, I couldn’t because of the excitement. We arrived in Johannesburg at 9am. The
taxi rank was full of taxis, the taxis were hundred times more than the taxis back at home. My
brother can work here, I’m sure these people earn a lot of money compared to the peanuts he
makes back home. I’ve never seen many people in my life. They were moving around, other
people were rushing to work.
Linda called her boyfriend, she kept saying, “Oh, voicemail”. I don’t care if it was mutemail or
singingmail, I was too excited to finally be in the city. After trying a few times, Linda finally talked
to her boyfriend. We waited next to a tiny tree. A guy selling earrings and pantyhose came to us.
“Beautiful earrings my sister, gold the real mcCoy just R50”, he advertised. We didn’t answer
him, he just went away mumbling.
A tall guy came out of a big car. He came towards us, I saw Linda smiling. The man had two
wrist watches, each wrist had a watch. I thought to myself, hayi uyayibagxa (he’s over doing it).
Linda and this guy hugged each other. “Introduce me to your friend”, he said in a funny accent.
“Oh, this is Nosipho the girl I’ve been telling you about”, said Linda. The man reached out his
hand for a hand shake, he had rings in every finger. I shook his hand, he looked deep in my
eyes and said, “I’ve heard a lot about you”, he said in his deep voice. People from the movies
always respond with, “I hope good things only”. I smiled shyly. He carried our bags to the car.
Wow, the car smelled good.
When we were driving to Linda’s house we passed beautiful houses. Maybe one day I’ll buy one
of these houses. I was so excited. Linda’s boyfriend, Raymond said he likes my excitement.
We finally arrived in Linda’s house. It was so big and beautiful, it was like those houses on
Generations. Her house was huge, I know I’ll get lost everyday. I saw Linda’s 2 year old son,
Stephen, he was cute. Linda had a babysitter, the woman was a bit old. Linda showed me my
room, it was lovely. Finally I had my own room, I was excited. Raymond left.
I can’t wait to chase my dreams in the city!
**********
The city was just like I saw on tv, it was big and beautiful. Linda told me a bit more about her
boyfriend. He was born in Kinshasa, Congo. His father was a wealthy man who owned several
shops around Kinshasa. His mother was a teacher who later became a head mistress. When he
was 20, he got his trust fund money that his father kept since he was a baby. His father passed
away five years ago. He moved to South Africa and started his empire. He has a sneakers, t-
shirts and caps boutique in Sandton. He also has three other clothing shops, one in the
Johannesburg CBD, other in Pretoria and Durban. He has a strip club in Hillbrow, apparently the
club makes around R100 000 a week.
Wow! Her boyfriend is a wealthy man, no wonder she lives in a big beautiful house. Linda also
has a beautiful pink lambo- something car. Life is definitely good for herself, her son and family.
“Today we’re going out. You’re in need of a serious wardrobe makeover”, said Linda. I was so
excited. Linda left her son with Gogo, the babysitter. We went to the mall. Wow, the mall was so
beautiful, many people were walking around. We entered a clothing store and Linda helped me
pick some clothes. At last, I was going to wear pants without people criticising me. The were a
lot, I’ve never bought so much clothes in my life. I was worried, I asked Linda how she was
going to pay for everything. She laughed and just took out a card. “Ever seen or heard of a
credit card”, said Linda. The lady who was behind the counter laughed. That was embarrassing,
I know I’m from the rural areas but I went to school and I’m not that stupid. Linda paid using the
credit. We left the clothing store and we went to a shoe store. The shoes looked amazing, these
shoes are like those shoes Karabo wear on Generations.
I picked a few pair of shoes. I tried walking in high heels but it was a bit difficult for me. Linda
bought me high heels even though I couldn’t walk in them. “You’ll learn my dear”, said Linda.
She paid for everything and we went to a cellular shop. She bought me a new cellphone, it was
a Nokia Express. I really appreciate her more.
We ate at Hungry Lion, damn those people take long.
We went home and I couldn’t wait to wear my clothes.
Life is about to get better.

Part 3: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

Two months later.

It felt like I was born in Johannesburg, I was part of the culture. I could even drive, Linda paid for
my driving lessons. I was even friends with Linda’s three close friends, Lindiwe, Zonke & Phumi.
I also met Raymond’s friends, Uche, Kevin, Hakeem, Rashidi, Adelphe and Kwame.
I learned that Raymond’s strip club, Phoenix, also has inside business besides the stripping. He
sells drugs, well, he have people working for him who sell drugs for him. There are large flats
behind the strip club where girls live there. The girls sell their bodies. Some strippers sell their
bodies. I’ve met a girl named, Natasha, her stripper name is Foxy. She is a stripper and a
pastor’s daughter. She is a sweet person. I’ve heard stories of some girls getting hooked on
drugs, others found dead in the bathroom.
I would never risk my life, that I know for sure. Foxy and Linda don’t really get along. Apparently
Linda was once a stripper, her stage name was Rosa. Raymond once had a thing for Foxy,
that’s before he started dating Linda. Foxy never had feelings for Raymond, or as strippers call
him, “Papa Ray”. Linda was jealous of Foxy for many things, Foxy once told me that Linda
started hating her guts the day the girls had a pole dancing competition and she won. In her
own words, “Raymond told the girls the winner will go out with him for a day out at the spa. I
won, the crowd loved me and I remember the look on her face. I never really had feelings for
Raymond. Linda hates me because I’m a reflection of what she wishes to be”. Tjo!
Raymond bought me a new phone for my birthday, two weeks ago. He bought me a Blackberry
8520. My BBM contact list is full. I’m starting to become popular amongst Raymond’s friends,
two of his friends once macked on me.
One day I was alone in Linda’s house, I wasn’t feeling well. Linda, her son and Gogo went out.
Suddenly I saw Raymond walking in.
“Hey, where’s Linda?” he asked
“Out”, I replied
“Gogo and little Stephen?”
“Out. They all went to the mall”
“And you?”
“I’m not feeling well”
“Flu?”
“No, stomach ache”
“Or maybe you wanted to have the house to yourself”
“Oh, nyan’ nyan? (really)”
“Nyan’ (really)”
“My stomach is sore, Raymond”
“Shame, I’ll buy you Eno. You’ll feel better in no time”
“Really? That would be nice”
“Or maybe you should come with me, you must be really lonely”
“Uhm…not really”
“It wouldn’t hurt”
“Maybe you’re right”
“Ok, let’s go Nosi”

We went to the nearest shop. Raymond bought me Eno and a bottle of water. I drank the Eno in
his car, within a few minutes I felt much better. “Let’s go buy some ice-cream”, said Raymond. I
couldn’t say no, I know he wouldn’t take no as an answer. We went to buy some ice-creams,
Raymond is a loving guy.
When we came back, Linda, her son and Gogo were already back from the mall.
I’m starting to find my feet. I’m the next big thing.
**********
Linda changed, she’s not the same person I met in the village or the person who bought me
clothes two months ago. Maybe I thought I knew her but I didn’t. Sometimes she leaves the
house without telling me where she’s going. I don’t know if maybe I did something to offend her.
One day Linda was out of the house. Gogo was playing with Stephen. I was reading a magazine
when someone opened my bedroom door. Oh, it was Raymond.
“Surprise!” he shouted.
I just laughed at him. “Linda is not home”, I told him.
“I’m not here to see Linda, I’m here to see you”
“Oh…”
“It’s Adelphe’s birthday today. We’re doing a surprise party for him. It’s all happening in the club
and you’re invited”
“Thank you, I didn’t know”
“Didn’t Linda tell you?”
“No, she doesn’t say much these days”
“That’s strange. But now you know”
All this time Raymond was talking with his hands behind him like he was hiding something.
“What’s that you have behind you?” I asked him.
“This is for you”, he said handing me a rectangular box.
“Thank you”, I said. I opened the box and it was a necklace.
“Wow Raymond! This is beautiful”, I said excitedly.
“I saw this necklace and it instantly reminded me of you. You’ve been a good friend to me and
Linda”
“It’s good to hear. Thank you”
“Uh- look, I have to go now”
“Okay, bye”
“Bye, see you later tonight”
“Wait – do I have to buy Adelphe anything? Like, a present?”
“No, no, no. Just come with your…pretty self and don’t breath a word to Adelphe”
“I promise I won’t”
“Good. Bye!”
“Go well”

Linda didn’t tell me about Adelphe’s surprise party. Maybe she forgot.
I took out what I’m going to wear tonight. I took out my black freakum dress. I was going to wear
my new necklace, it really matched with my shoes.
It’s going to be a GREAT night!
**********
When Linda came back she still didn’t tell me about the party. She later went out, when I looked
outside her car was gone. Maybe she went to the party. I sent Raymond a BBM, I asked him to
please pick me up and he replied, “Uche will fetch you”.
I wore my stunning outfit and minutes later, Uche came to fetch me. We drove to Raymond’s
strip club, Phoenix. The strip club was packed. I swear, Linda was surprised to see me. Foxy
was excited to see me, Linda watched at a distance.
“What’s up with your bestie?” asked Foxy.
“She’s been acting strange. I don’t know”, I replied.
“Look at her, she’s staring at us. Her evil eyes are piercing. She’s a devil, look at her”, said
Foxy.
“Don’t mind her”, I told her.
Raymond came to us, he asked if everything was fine and we told him not to worry. “Can I talk
to Nosi in private?” he asked, Foxy left.
“Uhm…you look wow, beautiful”, he said.
I was blushing.
“The necklace looks beautiful on you”, he said.
I was turning red everytime he gave me a compliment.
“Let me go check on Linda”, said Raymond.

Foxy came back. She told me she watched me and “Papa Ray” from a distance. “You guys like
each other”, she said. Me? And Raymond? No, I can’t like Raymond, I mean I don’t like him.
Finally, Adelphe was on the way. Everyone was hiding.
When Adelphe opened the door, we all screamed, “SURPRISE!!!” We nearly gave the poor guy
a heart attack. “Happy birthday my brother”, said Raymond hugging his friend. We sang
Adelphe the, “happy birthday song”.
After a few minutes, drinks were flowing. Foxy was on duty that night, she gave Adelphe a sexy
lap dance. People were cheering, they chanted, “TAKE IT OFF!!!” Adelphe took his shirt off but
people kept chanting, “TAKE IT OFF!!!” Foxy went down on her knees and she unzipped
Adelphe’s pants and she tried to take off Adelphe’s pants but he didn’t want.
The party was fun. I engaged in an interesting conversation with Rashidi, one of Raymond’s
close friends. Rashidi is a very gentle guy, he’s not loud. He is also cute. “Will Raymond kill me
when I take you out?” he asked.
I laughed out loud.
“What’s up with people thinking me and Raymond are something more than friends?” I asked
him.
“He’s very protective over you. You tell me, what’s up?”
“Raymond is my friend’s boyfriend. So he’s also my friend”
“Ok. So? Can I take you out?”
“Why?”
“Because I want to”
“That’s it?”
“Yeah. And maybe I, you know, kinda like you”
“You like me?”
“Isn’t that obvious?”
“Maybe”
“I know you also have a thing for me”
“You think so, right?”
“No, I know so”
“Hmm…ok”
“So? Can I?”
“Yeah”
“Tomorrow at 1pm. Okay?”
“Okay”
“I’ll fetch you”
We partied the night away, I didn’t drink alcohol because I don’t mess with alcohol. Rashidi took
me home, he’s a nice guy.
Tomorrow is a new day for new opportunities!
**********
I woke up feeling good. I was looking forward to my day out with Rashidi. I spent the morning
grooming myself. Linda walked in just as I was trying to pick an outfit to wear. “Going
somewhere?” she asked.
“Uhm… Yes. I’m going out”, I replied. She crossed her arms. “Who are you going out with?” she
asked. Wow.
“Rashidi”, I answered.
“Oh? You like Rashidi?” she asked with a smile.
“Maybe, I don’t know”
“Rashidi is a cool guy”
“I know”
“Let me leave you, enjoy your date”
Linda walked out. She was acting strange.
Anyway, Rashidi came to pick me up. On our way to the restaurant, Rashidi kept imitating
Raymond, that was hilarious. He’s good at imitating people. We had a good laugh.
When we arrived at the restaurant, Rashidi pulled out a chair for me. That was so kind of him.
He told me more about himself. He was born in Dar Es Salaam in Tanzania. He has three
siblings. Just like me, he’s the second born. His father divorced his mom when he was 10 years
old. I also told him more about myself. I told him my dream of being an actress and he said he
knew a friend who knew an agent. He told me he’s going to set me up. I was so excited to hear
that.
Rashidi couldn’t stop complimenting me. I was blushing everytime he threw a compliment.
Finally, we ate. The food was to die for.
Rashidi took me home. I had a great time with him. We never kissed, not that I’m complaining.
I can’t wait to tackle my dreams!
***********
One day later.
I was watching tv with Linda when we heard a loud aggressive knock on the door. Linda asked
who it was. “It’s me!”, shouted Raymond. She opened the door.
Raymond was angry, Linda was worried. “What’s wrong babe?” asked a worried Linda.
“Nothing”, said Raymond.
I knew something was up, he was lying. He sat next to Linda. “Get me something to drink Nosi”,
ordered Raymond. What’s wrong with this man? Does he not know how to say, “please”. I got
Raymond something to drink, he didn’t even say thank you. Something was definitely up.
There was silence. Everyone was watching tv, Linda broke the silence. “Nosipho tell Raymond
how Rashidi imitated him”, said Linda. I could see how Raymond was not in the mood. “Maybe
next time”, I said. “You guys were making a fool out of me?” asked an annoying Raymond. I
mean, what’s wrong with this man?
“No, we were just fooling around”, I said.
“Relax babe”, said Linda.
“Don’t tell me what to fucking do”, said an irritated Raymond.
“What’s wrong with you? First you knocked like a mad man, now you taking shit too personal.
What’s wrong with you?” asked Linda who was fed up.
“I can knock anyhow I like, this is my house!” shouted Raymond.
Linda looked at me and shook her head. I don’t know what was wrong with him. That’s it! Maybe
he didn’t like the fact that I went out with Rashidi. I was starting to become more and more
irritated with Raymond. I felt like shouting or screaming.
Raymond left with Linda. Good riddance.
I spent the whole day in my bedroom chatting with Rashidi via BBM. I heard Linda entering the
house. I then got a BBM from Raymond. It read:
“Hey Nosi. I apologise for being a jerk earlier. When Rashidi told me he took you out on a date I
was a bit jealous. I want you all to myself, I like you Nosi. I know you feel the same too”
I was confused. I knew Raymond liked me. He sent me a second BBM, it read:
“Can you come over tonight at my place? I need some company :)”
This man was serious. I won’t lie, I also like him. I replied, “I can’t wait”.
I lied to Linda and said I’m going to sleep at Foxy’s place.
I’ve turned to quite a bad girl these days!

Part 4: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

I packed a few clothes and I took a taxi to Raymond’s house. Raymond’s house is like a castle,
well, I wouldn’t mind being the queen.
Ever since I’ve moved to the city, I’ve learned more things about myself. The fact that I know
many men are chasing my tail makes me powerful in a way. I like the attention, I’m sure Linda
withdrew herself from me because she is threaten by me. I can actually see what Foxy told me.
Raymond opened the door, he was wearing a white gown. When I entered the house, I saw two
ladies wearing the same uniform. “This is Cleo and Anathi, they are professional masseuses”,
said Raymond. I went to the bedroom to take off my blouse and pants. Anathi massaged
Raymond while Cleo massaged me. The masseuses gave us a full body massage. It was so
relaxing.
The masseuses later left. Raymond and I had a lengthy chat. I asked Raymond about his drug
business but he doesn’t like talking about that. He told me the girls that sell their body are not
part of his business. I told him I want to be a stripper, he was surprised but he said he can
arrange that. Foxy once told me how much strippers make everyday, I need that money.
Raymond told me his relationship with Linda is very rocky. It’s been that for quite some time but
he knows how to keep things on the low. He told me I was way more better than Linda. I was
flattered. “I want you. I want you so bad you have no idea”, he said. I was speechless. We
kissed and kissed and kissed some more. I enjoyed his company, we slept in the same bed.
Nothing happened – thanks God.
I went to Linda’s house the next morning. I didn’t stay for breakfast.
I’m falling for Raymond – hard!
**********
Two days after.

Rashidi set me up with the agent guy. I quickly rushed to the coffee shop where the agent was
waiting for me. The agent was wearing a neat tuxedo. “Hey Nosipho”, he said with a deep voice.
“Hi”, I greeted back.
“I’m Katlego Sefatsi. I’m an agent and I manage stars. I also make people famous”, he said.
“I’m happy to hear that”, I said excitedly.
“I’ve heard you want to be an actress”
“Yes I do, that’s my dream”
“Your dreams are about to be a reality. I can see you already have the style, the look. You’re
first going to start at the bottom. It depends how good you are, you might be a superstar
overnight”
“Ok”
“Here’s my business card. The address is written at the back. Visit for recordings, we want to
know what we’re working with”
“No problem”
“Can you tell me when your interest in acting came about?”
“Well, me and my family liked watching Generations. I always wanted to be an actress, I want
to be rich and famous. I want to be there amongst legends”
“Nosipho, dadewam (my sister), if you want to be an actress just for the fame and money then
you doing it for the wrong reasons. You should be passionate, very passionate -”
“I am -”
“Don’t make it about that only. Do you know a fallen star?”
“No”
“Fallen stars are because of that “mina ngifuna ukwaziwa, hehe hoho(I want to be
known/famous) If you want to be a success story then I’m willing to be the person behind all of
that, you understand?”
“Yeah I do”
“Okay, if you really want to make a future for yourself – visit that address”
“I will”
“Thank you Nosipho for your time, I have a few meetings to attend. If you mind -”
“No, thank you sir”
“You can call me Katlego or KG”
“Okay, KG”
Katlego bid farewell. He really opened my eyes, maybe I should just be passionate about my
acting rather than longing to be this famous and rich actress.
Raymond sent me a BBM saying, “Meet me at Phoenix”. I went to the club. After I arrived at
club Phoenix, Rashidi arrived too. Awkward.
“Hey babe”, greeted Rashidi kissing my cheek. I hugged him.
“Did you miss me?” he asked.
“Yeah”, I lied.
“Are you free tonight?” he asked.
Oh, poor guy.
“I don’t think so”, I stuttered.
I could see in his face he was disappointed. I just felt like saying, “yes” but Raymond was
starring like a bouncer. Raymond was making me uncomfortable around Rashidi, so I went to sit
at another table with Rashidi.
“I saw the agent”, I said.
“That’s great. What did he say?” asked Rashidi. He was really enthusiastic.
“He gave me his business card. He said I can visit any day for a recording”
“I’m really happy for you. Can we toast to that?”
“Uhm…I don’t know”
Rashidi called a waiter and he ordered some drinks.
“You have no idea how much I’ve missed you. When are we going out again?” asked Rashidi
“Uh – I don’t know”
“What about tomorrow?”
“I’ll see”
“Okay, do let me know. Alright?”
“Yep”
“Raymond told the gents you want to be a stripper”
“What else does he tell the “gents” huh?”
“Guy code”
“You just revealed what he told you, so you already broke the guy code. What else does he tell
you?”
“About this girl…”
“What girl?”
“Chill. It’s just Linda”
“Only Linda?”
“And maybe that other girl… *laughs* I’m joking”
“Don’t do that!”
“I’m sorry. What’s up with you?”
“Nothing”
“Loosen up, strippers are not tense”
“I’m not a stripper”
“Strippers to be are not tense”
“Are you trying to be funny?”
“Just chill. You always laugh to my jokes. What’s up?”
The waiter came with the drinks.
“Here. Maybe this will loosen you up”, said Rashidi.
I really wasn’t in the mood. I still can’t believe Raymond told them I want to be a stripper. What
else does this guy tell them?
“Can we toast to your future and possibly our future?” asked Rashidi
Our future? Wow.
“Yeah”, I said.
“To your acting career, I know you’re going to make it and don’t forget to write your Oscar
acceptance speech. To our future, you are a beautiful lady and I would like to spend more time
with you”
“Cheers”
“Cheers”
Rashidi is full of surprises sometimes!
**********
A week later.
I’ve been having private pole dancing lessons with Vina, the queen of pole dancing. I’m quite
flexible so it was easy for me to get the moves. Now I’m a part-time stripper at Phoenix Strip
Club. I work during the evening, my shift starts at 8pm and ends at 11pm. My stripper name is
Chichi. Much have happened during the past week.
Raymond bought me a red Suzuki Alto 1.0 GL. Raymond recently employed me to be his part-
time delivery girl. He sells those inflatable children’s swimming pools, so I deliver those
inflatable swimming pools to Durban and Pretoria. Raymond’s Durban and Pretoria friends order
the inflatable swimming pools and I deliver and then they sell them.
My relationship with Raymond is great, we’ve managed to stay out of preying eyes. Rashidi is a
nice guy, we’ve been going out on a few dates. He’s been pushing for us to be a couple, I like
him but I don’t know. He’s very different compared to Raymond. He’s the total opposite.
Raymond is rough, he is smooth. Raymond is an extrovert, he’s an introvert. But they are both
cute.
The weird thing about the past week, last weekend after getting wasted for the first time in
Johannesburg, I felt weird the next morning. Maybe I had a hangover but Foxy didn’t describe it
the way I felt. If that makes sense. Linda kept asking how I felt, it’s a good thing she still cares.
Raymond also kept asking me to describe the symptoms. It was weird but I had a great time.
I parked my car at the club’s parking lot. I entered via the back door. I had a new look, I had a
blonde weave. It looked so good on me. I saw Foxy stretching, warming up for her shift. We
were going to be on duty at the same time. I joined her.
“Hey Foxy”, I greeted with a smile.
“Hey Chichi”, she responded.
We didn’t talk much. The waiter was sent to call us for our shift. People were packed, we will
make money tonight. There are foreigners who like to go to the club as a group. They buy
expensive wine and they spill the wine on the floor and they throw strippers chunks of money.
We call them, ballers.
I did my thing on the pole, music was blasting. The ballers kept putting money in my bra.
Raymond and his friends, Rashidi, Uche, Adelphe, Kevin, Kwame and Hakeem entered the
club. They sat in the VIP section. I could see them whilst I was dancing. After a few minutes I
saw some girls joining them. I saw a drunk girl sitting on Rashidi’s lap, he didn’t mind. He was
chatting with this girl, smiling and being all friendly. I was jealous. I dragged one baller who was
enjoying my show by the arm. I dragged the baller to the stage, I kept grinding on this baller. I
was trying to get Rashidi’s attention. Rashidi was too busy with the girl, I told the guy to lay on
his back then I danced on top of him. I dry humped the poor guy, the crowd reacted with an
uproar. Finally I had Rashidi’s attention, he looked really jealous. I took the baller off the stage. I
worked my magic on the pole.
People really liked me and Foxy. It was a great night. I’ve discovered my new hobby which was
getting people’s attention.
Tomorrow I had a delivery.
I enjoy the fruits of my labour!
**********
After a crazy night on the pole, I woke up to Raymond’s delivery. Linda told me Raymond
dropped these inflatable swimming pools and I had to deliver them on time. I took a quick bath. I
was so lazy, I just wanted to rest the whole day.

Raymond sent me a BBM that said: “Deliver those inflatable pools to King Pin, Ash and Martin.
Xoxo”.
King Pin lived in Hillbrow, Ash lived in Durban and Martin lived in Pretoria. I drove my car, my
first stop was in Hillbrow. King Pin owned a few taxis, I don’t understand why he sells inflatable
swimming pools.
I stepped out of my car and King Pin was sitting outside his house. “Hey”, he greeted with a
huge smile on his face.
“I’ve got a delivery for you”, I said.
“I’m happy to hear that”, he said pleasantly.
I took out ten bags of inflatable swimming pools. I grabbed a notebook and pen for King Pin to
sign.
“Thank you”, he said.
I’ve never seen someone excited for inflatable swimming pools, maybe they sell like hot dogs?
“Please sign here”, I said.
“Ok”
He signed.
“How about we go out for drinks”, he said.
“No, that’s not a good idea”, I said.
“Why? Because you don’t mix business with pleasure?” he asked
“No, I’m not in the mood”, I said. I would never go out for drinks with this fool, he looks like he
sneaked out of a rehabilitation centre and missed an AA meeting.
“What about tomorrow? Will you be in the mood?”
“What do you want from me?”
“I just want to be your friend”
“I have many friends they can fill a village”
“I want to be your best friend”
“Well, whatever your motives are…they won’t work with me”
“Whatever!”
I left for Pretoria. King Pin is a mad man.
The drive to Pretoria was nice and smooth until I saw traffic. There had been an accident on the
N2, cars were slowing down. It was frustrating, I have to rush to Durban after I deliver these
inflatable swimming pools to Martin. Finally, I broke out of the traffic. I was heading to Martin’s
restaurant, he’s always there.
When I arrived, Martin’s friend directed me to where Martin was. Martin was at his office.
“Good day sir”, I greeted.
“Good day young lady”, Martin greeted back with a smile, a sexy smile.
“I have your delivery”, I said.
“Oh, nice. I’ve been waiting”
“Sorry for being late, there was traffic”
“Why am I not surprised?”
“I forgot my notebook, let me quickly go to my car”
“Ok”
I quickly rushed to my car, took the notebook and returned to Martin’s office.
“That was quick”, said Martin.
“Please sign here”, I said.
“Ok”
Martin signed.
“Your boss also does business with King Pin?” asked Martin
“Uhm…yes but Raymond isn’t my boss. We’re just friends”, I told him.
“Scratch my back and I’ll scratch my back kinda friendship?” he asked.
Damn, this guy was asking ridiculous questions.
“I wouldn’t say that exactly”, I said.
“You know what’s funny? Last night I spoke to Ray on the phone. He assured me that his
partnership with King Pin died a year ago. Now I see this nigga King Pin on his book. What is
that called?” he asked.
“I don’t know”, I said. I was speechless.
“Do you want me to tell you what that is called? It’s called HYPOCRISY”, he said.
I was confused.
“I have to go somewhere”, I told him.
“You can go dear”, he said.
I was so lazy to drive to Durban I just lied to Raymond, I sent him a BBM saying, “I’m feeling ill, I
can’t drive to Durban”. He told me to come home and rest.
I’m starting to get a hang of JoHUSTLEburg!
**********
Two days later.
Rashidi visited me twice in a row. I know people would think that’s sweet but I need my space. I
like Rashidi, a lot but sometime I feel like we’re not in the same page.
Raymond came to visit, Linda was out.
“How’s my beautiful lady doing?” he asked. Raymond was looking good as usual.
“I’m good. How’s my handsome man doing?” I asked. At this point I had my arms around
Raymond. Gogo was out with baby Stephen. It was only me and Raymond.
“Let’s go to your room”, said Raymond.
I led him to my room. He sat on my bed and we started kissing. I didn’t even feel guilty for
having an affair with my friend’s boyfriend. I knew Raymond didn’t like me, he loved me.
We kissed for a long time, he put his hand on my thigh. He whispered sweet words, he told me
he loves me very much. The next thing he was on top of me, breathing heavily and I was
grabbing the duvet. My breasts were pressing against his sweaty chest. I could feel his warm
testicles pressing against my butt. I let out a moan. He was on top most of the time, it felt so
good.
When we were done, he quickly wore his clothes and left. He told me he was late for a meeting.
Linda came back. I acted like nothing happened. I organised an outfit to wear for my pole
dancing tonight. I was going to rock the pole together with my girl, Foxy. I’m starting to think
Chichi is my alter ego.
Tonight is going to be a good night, I’ve got a feeling!

Part 5: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

Linda left for the club. I quickly did a few touch ups. I sent Raymond a BBM saying, “Chichi will
meet you at club Phoenix” he responded, “I can’t wait to see Chichi’s skills on the pole”. Minutes
later he changed his BBM status to, “LINDA i LUV U WITH ALL MY HEART”. I was so pissed.
When I got to the club, Rashidi and Linda was talking in a corner. Hmm…I watched at a
distance, they were giggling like school kids. I just passed them, I didn’t even greet Rashidi. I
went to the changing room, Foxy was already there. As usual, she was stretching – I joined her.
“You see that evil friend of yours? You must look out for her, she’ll snatch Rashidi away from
you”, said Foxy.
“And leave Raymond?” I asked.
“Well, maybe not but I know her too well”, said Foxy.
“Rashidi will never fall for her”
“You think so?”
“I know so!”
“Oh”
“Oh?”
“Alright”
“Rashidi loves me”
“Are you also in love with him?”
“I…I…well, you know, I kinda li- love him”
“Nosipho, I’m going to be honest with you. I don’t like what you’re doing to Rashidi. He’s
probably falling in love with you but you don’t love him. Look, he’s giving you 100% and you’re
returning him with 50% you have to choose. Is it Papa Ray or Rashidi?”
My eyes widened.
“Raymond? What do you mean Raymond or Rashidi?” I asked.
“Come on Nosipho! Don’t act a fool. I know you like Raymond! I know these things”, said Foxy.
“I don’t like Raymond that way, we’re just friends”
“I wouldn’t surprised if you guys were screwing each other”
OMG!
“What? I’m not having sex with Raymond. Really? Come on”, I protested.
“So you never had sex with him?”
“No”
“You never wished to have sex with him?”
“No”
“You don’t like him?”
“No”
“You hate Linda, right?”
“No”
“Say yes”
The club manager told us to get ready, we were going on stage in 5mins.
When we were on stage we did our thing. People were cheering, the ballers were throwing
money on us. As I was dancing, my eyes kept starring at Linda and Rashidi who seemed in their
own zone. I tried not to give a shit about the two of them. After my shift, Raymond invited the
strippers, his friends and well, Linda to a mini party upstairs. We had cocktails. I don’t remember
much but what I can remember is Linda leading me to the bathroom, saying, “You are wasted.
Just shut your eyes, Raymond is going to help you”. I remember Raymond in the bathroom, he
kept telling me, “We’re going to take you home”. My eyelids felt heavy, I couldn’t open my eyes.
I passed out. Maybe I’m weak, I don’t know but I didn’t knew having a few glasses can get me to
that zone.
I’m learning more about myself…
**********
In the morning I was vomiting. Linda helped me, she kept bringing me glasses of water. When I
stopped vomiting Linda started asking me question after question.
“How are you feeling now”, asked Linda
“I’m much better, thank you”
“Are you dizzy?”
“No, I’m fine”
“Aren’t you hallucinating?”
“No, Linda I’m fine”
“Do you feel on top of the world?”
These questions were a bit strange.
“I’m not feeling on top of the world. I’m just fine, well, I’m just hungry”
“That’s it?”
“Yes! Let me go have something to eat. Can I?”
“Don’t be silly, of course. Go have something to eat before you starve yourself to death”
I made myself some sandwiches.
In the afternoon, Raymond came to visit. He wanted to speak to me in private. I could feel
Linda’s cold stare – but I don’t give a damn. We went outside.
“Why didn’t you tell me Martin found out about King Pin?” asked Raymond.
“It’s your business, I don’t know”
“Exactly! It’s my business. Nosi, you’re suppose to tell me these things”
“I’m sorry”
“Now Martin wants to cut things between me and him. It’s really bad for the business”
“It wouldn’t be this bad if you told him that you’re still doing business with King Pin”
“Don’t even say that, don’t even say that! I know what I’m doing”
“What are you going to do?”
“He told me he won’t cut things between us on one condition”
“And what’s that?”
“You”
“Me? *laughs* what does he want from ME? He wants to take me out for, let me
guess…uhm…drinks?”
“No”
“He wants me to be his date for some event?”
“No”
“He wants me – ”
“He wants to have sex with you”
“WHAT?! What did you say? I hope you told him to voetsek!”
“Well…”
“No! Raymond, no!”
“He’s an important customer, I need him. We need him”
“No Raymond! Why can’t you look for a new customer? No!”
“Martin has been my loyal customer for years. I need him, we do”
“I don’t”
“Can’t you be open minded for just a second? You need money for your hair don’t you? What
about the car you’re driving? Where the fuck did I get that money? Money doesn’t grow on
trees, you know that. I work hard for my money and my deals”
“Raymond if you really work hard, go have sex with Martin”
“What the fuck? Are you insane? He wants you! Nobody but you!”
“I can’t”
“Why? At least think about it”
“I’m sorry, but no”
“Please”
“I don’t think so”
“Please, I’m begging you. Think about it”
“Is that all?”
“For now, yes”
“Ok”
“Will you think about it”
“I’m going inside”
I went inside. I couldn’t believe Raymond. Anyway, why does this Martin guy care much about
who Raymond sells his inflatable swimming pools to? That’s crazy and a bit childish. Raymond
went inside, kissed Linda goodbye and he left.
Rashidi sent me a BBM saying: “Can we meet in THAT restaurant?” I replied, “Yes”. I needed to
go out, just to cool my mind. I just grabbed a jacket and drove to that restaurant.
When I got to the restaurant Rashidi was already waiting for me. I hugged him.
“Hey babe, how are you doing?” asked Rashidi. He seemed to be in a good mood.
“I’m alright, you?”
“I’m fantastic. I’ve missed you”
“I’ve missed you too”
“I hate it when you don’t reply to my BBMs”
“I’m probably busy”
“Ok, I just thought maybe you were avoiding me”
“No, why would I avoid you?”
“I don’t know, maybe I’m boring?”
“You’re funny, not boring”
“You used to come over to say hi after your shift but you act like I’m not even in the room. You
give other guys lap dances but you don’t even give me a lap dance or – ”
“It’s my job”
“I know, but I just think sometimes you do that to get to me”
“And do I?”
“Yeah, which man would enjoy another man grinding on their woman?”
“So I’m your woman?”
“Yeah, you’re mine”
“Oh?”
“Oh? What do you mean, oh?”
“We never had that talk”
“But you know”
“Am I your wife too?”
“Don’t be silly, no, we never got married”
“I don’t know because I don’t remember being in a relationship with you”
“What is this?”
“What do you mean?”
“What are we?”
“Good friends”
“Good friends? How?”
“I’m not ready for a relationship”
“I wish I can have lots of many and throw money at you when you dancing on the pole, maybe I
would be more than a “GOOD FRIEND” *laughs*”
“What are you trying to say?”
“That maybe you’re in some sort of a relationship with one of the ballers”
“Are you silly? The ballers are just my customers”
“I know you probably have a crush”
“I don’t”
“Do you like me?”
“Yeah”
“Do you want to be with me?”
“I’m not ready?”
“Yes or no, do you want to be with me?”
“No”
“Thank you for your honesty. Can I order?”
“I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings”
“You’re not the first to hurt my feelings. I’ve been hurt a thousand times. Don’t apologise to me,
I don’t need your apology”
“But I’m sorry, I’m truly sorry”
 “No, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I’m not the right man for you, I’m sorry that I don’t have a lot of
money, I’m sorry that I fell deeply in love with you. I’m just sorry for caring about you. I’m sorry,
it’s my fault”
“Don’t be like this”
“Can I order something to eat? I’m starving”
“Rashidi you’re a great guy, it’s just that I’m not ready to be with you”
“It’s okay, remember it’s my fault”
“Don’t be like this Rashidi”
“Like what? I’m being real at least someone is being real here”
“I don’t want to eat, you can eat alone. I’m going”
“Bye! Say hi to Linda”
I was so angry. I left the restaurant, Linda probably said something to Rashidi. I called my friend
Foxy, she invited me to her flat. I told Foxy about the fight with Rashidi.
“It’s Linda’s fault, she’s evil”, said Foxy
“I didn’t know she was this evil”
“I told you and you didn’t listen to me”
“I now hate Linda with a passion”
“Welcome to the club. Linda’s not my favorite person in the world. She’s jealous of me, I look
better than her and I’m better than her. She always tries to bring down people because she’s so
jealous. You’re the next victim, she’s probably plotting something against you. You’re younger,
fresher and sexier than her. You’re a reflection of what she wishes to be so she hates you. I’m
sure she’s after Rashidi. Move in with me, she’s probably going to poison your food”
“I don’t want to move in with you, I love you though. I just think she won’t go to that extreme”
I had an interesting conversation with Foxy. After that I went home and Linda was sleeping, I
couldn’t be bothered.
Yerrrr….!
**********
I work up quite late, I had a lot of things on my mind. I just wanted to talk to Raymond, it was
very important. I’ve been thinking about what to say to him for the past 16hrs.
I took a bath then rushed to Club Phoenix, I needed to talk to Raymond regarding the Martin
issue.
When I arrived at Club Phoenix, I went straight to Raymond’s office. It was locked. I asked one
of the cleaners where Raymond was, the cleaner responded, “Papa Ray is out”. I asked the
cleaner if he knew where he will be back, unfortunately he didn’t. Damn it! I decided to wait for
him, I sat on the couch. Some girls were busy with their shift. I was trying to kill time, I logged
onto facebook, stalked a few timelines.
After waiting for what seemed to be an hour, Raymond entered the club, he was walking with
Foxy. They were laughing, Foxy was carrying shopping bags. I was confused, what’s
happening. I played cool, Foxy doesn’t know Raymond is having an affair with me. I could see
Foxy was shocked to see me but she acted cool.
“Hey friend!” said Foxy, acting all cool.
I didn’t want to act strangely. Maybe I was thinking too much, maybe Foxy met Raymond on her
way to the club. Silly me! I know they met on the way – or I hope so.
“Hey my friend”, I said faking a smile.
“I’ll leave you guys to catch up”, said Raymond going to his office.
“Wait – I need to talk to you, it’s important”, I said.
“Okay, come with me. Foxy, it was great catching up with you”, said Raymond.
“Ok, see you soon”, said Foxy. The way she said it seemed like she was bragging.
Maybe I’m reading too much into this, nothing is going on. Foxy doesn’t like Raymond, yes! Of
course she doesn’t.
I entered Raymond’s office and securely closed the door.
“It’s urgent”, I said.
“I can see. Take a seat”, said Raymond. “No, it’s okay”
“So tell me, what’s urgent?”
“It’s about Martin”
“And?”
“I thought about it, I thought about it long and hard. I appreciate you for what you’ve done for
me, I really do. I feel bad, really”
“What does this mean? Is it a no?”
“Yes, I can’t Raymond!”
“Why?”
“Because – ”
“Shut up! You’re ungrateful little girl! After all I’ve done for you?”
Raymond was really angry, I’ve never seen him like this. His eyes were like an animal’s eyes, I
was really scared.
“I’m sorry Raymond. I…I… – ”
“You’ve let me down. I thought you loved me”
“I DO!”
“If you really loved me, you would do this one little thing for me”
“It’s not just one little thing to me”
“It’s just sex! Just sex!”
“Just sex? Is it just sex to you?”
“Yes”
“When I have sex with you, is it just sex?”
“It’s just sex!”
“Just sex?”
“Just sex. What do you want me to say? It’s more than sex?”
“Yes, it’s love. When I’m having sex with you Raymond, it’s more than just sex. It’s making
love”
“Making love? We’re not married”
“Marry me then”
“WHAT?! Are fucking crazy? Okay. I’m sorry for yelling but I’m not ready for marriage”
“Dump her”
“Who?”
“How many are they Raymond?”
“How is all of this connected to the Martin issue? How?”
“I want us to be together”
“But we are”
“I sacrificed Rashidi for you. He really loves me. Well, I don’t know if he still loves me but I
rejected a relationship with him for you. Don’t you understand it?”
“I do. I understand everything. You are my girl, you are my woman”
“Let them know I’m your girl, let them know I’m your woman. Raymond, I’m tired of being the
spare wheel. I don’t want to be your booty call, I want to be yours. I don’t want to share you”
“Well…uhm…Linda is my son’s mom. I’m with her because of the baby, I don’t want to
disappoint her. I’ve disappointed her a lot, I don’t want to be that guy. I like you – a lot. I don’t
want to be in a romantic relationship with you. Let’s keep this more fun, the only way we can
keep it more fun is by not being in a romantic relationship. Linda is boring. You’re more
interesting, I like everything about you. You’ve got a big booty and beautiful breast. I love your
smile, your teeth, your seductive eyes, your long natural hair, I love the dimples on your butt. I
love your bushy eyebrows, I love your kissable cute lips. I appreciate you, don’t you know that? I
really do”
Raymond made my heart smile. I didn’t know he was so good with words.
“I lo – I like you a lot too”, I said.
“Come here”, said Raymond with his arms open. We hugged for a good minute.
“I don’t want to have sex with Martin, please don’t make me”, I said.
“I won’t. I’ll negotiate with Martin, don’t worry”, said Raymond.
I felt so good. Thanks God I spoke to Raymond, the weight was lifted off my shoulders. I left his
office and I received a BBM from Rashidi saying, “I need to speak to you. Plz respond” I replied,
“Leave me alone!”
I was in a good mood, I went to the mall. After that I went to a new restaurant – no, not THAT
restaurant. I was busy on my phone when I felt someone covering my eyes.
“Who are you?” I asked.
It’s not Raymond! I know his cologne. This person smelled weed and axe body spray. This isn’t
Rashidi! I asked again, “This isn’t funny anymore. Who are you?” This person revealed himself.
What? It’s that crack head looking guy, King Pin.
“Surprise!” he shouted, like a mad man. He looked like he was high.
“Are you high?” I asked him.
“Me? High? No, I’m not high”, he said.
“You’ve been smoking weed? Sies”
“I offered to take you out for drinks, look at you now. You are lonely”
“Who said I’m lonely?”
“You’re eating ice cream alone, people around you are sitting with their partners”
“Leave me alone”
“You think you’re better than me? I’m richer than your boss”
“Raymond isn’t my boss, he’s…my friend”
“Friend? I can recruit you”
“I don’t need a job”
“I loaned Raymond some money to start his empire. Did you know that?”
“I don’t need to know”
“Well you do now. Can I have a goodbye kiss? I can see you don’t want anything to do with me”
“Voetsek!”
“I can buy this restaurant right now, do you know that? I’ve got millions and millions of rands in
my bank account. Let’s go to the bank, I’ll show you my amount”
“No. Go!”
“Chill, why do you hate me? I’m sexy and not that old, I want to marry you. I will pay 5 million
for your lobola (bride price) do you know that?”
“Go before I call the manager”
“Why? I love you”
“Go sell your inflatable swimming pools, people need to swim”
“Swim? Do you think I’m really selling inflatable swimming pools? If I wanted that I would go to
Game and buy that white people shit”
“Go away! You’re annoying”
“Let’s go swim in my pool, I’ll let you touch my tap”
I called the security but King Pin quickly ran out. King Pin looks like a crack head version of T-
Pain.
I went home, I was so tired. I slept.
Is it normal to look forward to waking up just to see a man you love? To me, yes :)!
**********
I woke up to Rashidi and Linda giggling like school children. I went to brush my teeth, Rashidi
stood up and said, “Finally you’re awake. I came to talk to you”.
“I’m going to brush my teeth”, I said. He seemed happy to finally have a word with me. I didn’t
want to embarrass him in front of Linda, otherwise if Linda wasn’t there I wouldn’t even answer
him.
After I brushed my teeth, I invited him to my bedroom.
“Thank you for your time. I was really looking forward to this, how are you?” he asked.
“I’m good. Please rush to the point, I don’t have all day”, I said. I wasn’t in the mood.
“Ok. I’m really truly sorry from the bottom of my heart. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. Please
find a good place in your heart to please forgive me. I am not perfect, sometimes I say things
that I don’t mean. I really like you a lot and I would like us to be together but – ”
“Rashidi, look – ”
“But you don’t want us to be in a relationship and I respect your decision. I want to be your
friend, If you only want friendship I can be your friend and nothing more. I don’t care if it takes
you hundreds of years for you to be ready for a romantic relationship with me, I’ll wait. Nosipho I
need you, I don’t want you, I need you”
“Rashidi, look I respect you. I know you respect me, I like that. I’ve seen guys taking advantage
of girls, you’re not that type of man. I like the fact that you put others before you, you’re not
selfish. I am the total opposite – ”
 “But I don’t care, I just need you. I want things to be like they used to be. I miss our late night
chats on BBM. I miss our burping competition via voice notes, I miss your one liner jokes your
father taught you. I miss you, Nosipho Ndamase I really miss you”
“I miss you too”
“Please give me another chance. Let me mend this broken friendship”
“Ok, I’ll give you another chance”
Rashidi was so happy. My crush for Rashidi was reborn.
After that whole reunion with Rashidi, I decided to surprise my friend Foxy. I always call when I
go to her flat because she’s always busy. It was really sunny outside, I picked a funky outfit to
go with the weather.

I drove my car to Foxy’s flat. It looked like she wasn’t home or maybe she was sleeping. I
knocked a couple of times but she didn’t answer. I tried calling her but her phone was on
voicemail. I was a bit down because I really wanted to surprise her. I decided to drive to
Adelphe’s apartment, he doesn’t live that far from Linda’s flat. I drove a few blocks before
reaching his apartment. I know he will be surprised to see me because I never visit him.
I knocked on his door, he opened the door. I could see his eyes widening, he was surprised to
see me.
“Hey there! What brings you here? Come in”, said Adelphe.
His apartment was neat.
“I just came to say hi”, I said.
“Can I get you anything? Make yourself comfortable”
“No thanks. I went to see my friend Foxy but she wasn’t home, I decide why not drop by”
“How are you doing?”
“I’m great, and you?”
“I’m ok. Last time we had a chat was on my surprise party, if I’m not mistaken”
“It was a long time. Your apartment looks lovely by the way”
“Thank you. Well, you know, I try. So how are things between you and Rashidi?”
“Things are ok – ”
“He’s falling in love with you. I’ve never seen him falling in love like this”
“Well…”
“I think he has a thing for strippers. He dated Angelica for a year. You wouldn’t know her, she
left Club Phoenix just before you came to Jozi. He then dated Foxy for 6 months, now it’s you.
He’s really in love with you”
What? He once dated Foxy? Why didn’t Foxy tell me this? And Rashidi? Why didn’t he tell me
this?
“Me and Rashidi are just friends. We’re good friends”, I said. I was shocked.
“Rashidi told me you guys were dating. Anyway, he really loves you”
“We talked, he knows where he stands”
“Are you sure you don’t want anything? Last night I ordered Chinese food”
“No thanks. I’m fine”
“If you say so”
“Uhm…I’m happy to see you, I hope we meet again. I really have to go somewhere”
“Okay, thanks for popping in, take care”
“Alright bye!”
“Yeah”
I left Adelphe’s apartment. I decided to drive past Foxy’s flat just to see if there were any signs
that she was home. While I was driving to her flat, I saw Foxy talking to another man. She was
wearing a big t-shirt. I stopped my car, I observed. I was nowhere near Foxy’s flat, I didn’t want
her to notice my car. When the guy walked to his car I saw his face properly. That was Martin,
Raymond’s customer. Maybe when I saw Raymond and Foxy the other day, maybe Raymond
was negotiating with Foxy to sleep with Martin instead of me. But still it didn’t make sense. I
reversed my car, I didn’t want Foxy to see me.
Who really is this Foxy chick?
**********
I drove to Club Phoenix. I wanted to have a chat with Raymond. The manager told me that
Raymond went out with his girlfriend, he asked if he can deliver any message to him…I said no.
I wanted to clear my mind, I took out my phone. I went to my contact list, I scrolled down to
Rashidi. I wanted to talk to him, maybe go out and clear my mind. I know that would make him
happy but I just didn’t have the gut. I ended up not calling Rashidi.
I just went home, by home I mean Linda’s house. I tried watching tv, nothing was interesting. I
thought to myself, the whole purpose of me coming to the city was to pursue a career in acting.
KG, the agent gave me his business card long time ago but I haven’t taken the time to for
recordings. I was lazy, let me just put this acting thing aside. Being a stripper isn’t my ideal job
but I’m paid tons of cash and I must admit, I love the attention. In the future I would like to go to
college, well, an FET college. I failed my grade 11.
For the first time ever since I came to Johannesburg, I really missed my family. I miss my mom,
my dad, my brothers and my friends. I don’t want to go back to my family with nothing,
everything that I’m doing now, I’m doing for my family. I want to build a house for them, I want to
buy a car for them.
I was bored, I decided to read people’s BBM statuses. Linda’s picture had a finger with a
beautiful ring – status read: “He proposed. I luv my baby”. What? Raymond proposed? After all
that talk, why would he do such a thing. I angrily called Raymond but his phone was on
voicemail. I cooled myself down.
I stayed indoors until evening time, I got ready for my shift.
*sigh*

Part 6: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

I drove the Club Phoenix. Foxy was stretching, I came in and sat on a chair. I didn’t feel like
stretching today.
“I came to visit you today, it was meant to be a surprise but you weren’t there”, I said.
“Oh? I was out”, said Foxy.
“Where were you?” I asked.
“Out”, she replied.
I knew she was lying. I saw Martin coming out of her flat.
“Are you sure you didn’t have any guests?” I asked, trying to drag the truth out of her.
“No, I was out”, she lied.
“You wouldn’t lie to me, right?”
“Of course”
“You would tell me anything”
“I’ve told you everything. Are you suspecting anything?”
I couldn’t say yes.
“No”
“I trust you, I know you trust me”
“I do trust you”
“That’s all that matters”
The truth is I USED to trust her, I don’t anymore. Who knows what else she’s hiding from me?

We went to dance on the pole, our shift was in full swing. The manager told us there was a
gentleman who was celebrating his birthday and he ordered a full 1hr private pole dancing and
lap dance session. There’s something called a “Birthday Special Tease”. I went to meet this
birthday guy, he introduced himself as Jason. He was turning 27 and he wanted to treat himself.
He was with his friends.
“Nice meeting you Nosipho, you can show me the way”, he said.
We went to a room, it had a pole. A colorful disco light was spinning. There was a security
outside the door – just in case the customer decides to misbehave.

I started giving this man a sexy lap dance, I was grinding myself against him. He was really
enjoying it. He had a boner, I could see in his eyes that he was a bit embarrassed. He covered
his boner with his hands, but I slowly removed his hands and I started grinding repeatedly. This
show happened for an hour, the security opened the door and we left the room.
I saw Raymond and Linda surrounded by people, they were congratulating them on their
engagement. I didn’t give a rat’s ass. I continued with my shift. After I was done with my shift, I
decided to not go home like I usually do. Foxy left, I sat with Rashidi, Uche, Adelphe, Kevin,
Hakeem and Kwame. We were laughing, enjoying ourselves. We started drinking, Raymond
and Linda came to join us. I faked a smile and congratulated them on their engagement.
Rashidi, Uche, Adelphe, Kevin and Hakeem went to dance on the dance floor. I was left with
Linda and Raymond. Awkward. Linda offered to buy me something to drink, I couldn’t say no. I
was tipsy, after drinking that drink I was on the dance floor. I was so energetic, I’m sure Linda
bought me those energy drinks.
I stumbled to the toilet. After that, I went to the back of the club. I don’t know why. I looked
around, I was a bit dizzy. When I was approaching the club’s exit doors, I met Jason. The guy I
was giving a lap dance earlier.

“Hey Jason! We meet again”, I said.

“You’re drunk?” he asked.
“No I’m tipsy”
“Stop acting”
“I’m not acting. Can you please move I’m going in”
“No. I know you want me”
“I don’t want you”
“That lap dance? You really like me”
“I met you today, I didn’t even know you existed”
“So? I know you wanted it”
“Wanted what?”
“My dick”
“Your what? You’re crazy, get out of my ”
“No, dance for me the way you did in that room”
“My duty is over”
“I’ll pay you double the amount”
“My duty is over”
“Do you like it on the floor or on the bed?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Since there’s no bed, we can do it on the floor but it would be so uncomfortable. This is
concrete, what about concrete? Have you ever had it on the concrete?”
“Move!”
“Hey! Don’t act like you don’t want me. I can see right through you, you’re a freak. I like freaks”
“If you want to fuck go to these flats. I’m sure there are girls who will be happy to help you”
“I don’t need their help, I need yours”
“I don’t want to fuck you”
“Let’s not make this hard. Now open that shit”
“No!”
“Hey! Stop acting”
We struggled with each other. He was so powerful, I screamed. He covered my mouth, I bit his
hand. He punched me, I fell down. He quickly took off his belt and unzipped his pants. I was on
the floor, I started kicking like a mad woman. He kept beating me with his belt, he dropped his
pants to his ankles. That moment I was praying inside, I was asking my ancestors to fight this
man. Perhaps this is my punishment for leaving home. I started screaming, no one came to my
rescue. The music was too loud. I managed to stand up, when I was about to run he grabbed
my leg. I kicked him with my other leg, this made him more angry. He grabbed me and he
forcefully tried to take off my panties but I wasn’t making it easy for him. I kicked him hard on his
balls, he fell down, he was in pain. I ran, I saw a brick, carried the brick and dropped the brick
on his head. He was laying on the floor unconscious. His head was bloody, I didn’t care if he
was dead. I ran to my car. I sat in my car, I closed my eyes. I didn’t cry, I just thanked God. I
was too weak to drive. I locked my car doors, and slept inside my car.
I thank God.
**********
I slept in my car. I heard someone banging my car window. I woke up, it was Rashidi.
“Hey Nosipho! Wake up, let me drive you home”, he said.
I wasn’t in the mood to talk to him. I still had nasty flashbacks from yesterday.
“No, I’ll drive myself home”, I said.
“You must be hungry. Can I at least take you out for breakfast?” he asked.
“I’m not hungry”, I said.
“Ok. Please open the door”, he said.
I opened the door.
“What’s wrong with you? Last night you just disappeared. What happened?” he asked.
Must I tell him the truth? Ok, maybe not.
“I was tired. I just left the club and slept in my car”, I lied.
“You should have told me. I would’ve drove you home”
“You were busy”
“But you’re my friend and friends help each other”
“You were busy celebrating with your friends, you were having. I couldn’t spoil that moment”
“I’m willing to do anything for you. I’m trying to gain your trust again, remember? I want things
to be alright between me and you – ”
“But things are”
“I know, but I want things to be 100% ok”
I sat there and I started thinking. Who has my back here in Johannesburg? Raymond already
hurt my feelings by proposing to Linda after he told me that he likes me more than he likes
Linda. Foxy is my only true friend but after hearing from Adelphe that she had a romantic past
with Rashidi, I don’t trust her. Rashidi is a great guy but I feel under his gentleman disguise lays
a guilty man with secrets. Who do I trust?

“Are you alright?” asked Rashidi.

“Yeah I am. I really need to go now”, I said.
“Ok. Drive safely”, said Rashidi.

I drove to Linda’s house, well, that’s the only home I have in Johannesburg. When I arrived, I
rushed to my room and started crying.
After crying for over 30mins, I looked myself in the mirror and I talked to myself.
“I’m a strong person, I can get through this”, I told myself.
I can get through this!
**********
A week later.
My relationship with Raymond is obviously not the same. I try not to care about him but I do. He
tried calling me a few times but I didn’t answer his phone calls. Ever since that mini engagement
party I haven’t really spoken to him about that. Our relationship is strictly business and nothing
more. When he visits Linda, he acts like he doesn’t really know me – like the way he acted
when I first came to Johannesburg.
He no longer sends me to deliver those inflatable swimming pools. When I used to be the
delivery girl, he paid me. Now my only income is the money I make from pole dancing. I don’t
want to be a stripper for the rest of my life. I’ve thought about moving out of Linda’s house but
that would be costly.
I’ve became close to Kwame for some odd reason. Maybe that’s because we share a similar
childhood. Kwame is from Ghana and he is Rashidi’s best friend. He smokes a lot but he wants
to quit, he’s funny but Rashidi is funnier.
My afternoon was quiet. Linda decided to host a pool party this evening. She was out, shopping
for the party. She asked for my services though. She asked me to pole dance during the pool
party, she promised I will do that for only 30mins and she will pay me for every 5mins. Of course
I said yes.

I decided to visit Kwame’s house. I knocked for a while before he opened the door.
“Sorry, I didn’t hear you. Make yourself comfortable”, he said.
“Thank you. I thought you were out”, I said.
“No. Can I get you anything?”
“No thanks”
“So? What’s up?”
“Nothing. I just came to visit you”
“I feel special”
“You are”
“Oh? Ok. So…How’s Foxy?”
“Fine”
“Is she coming to the pool party?”
“I don’t know, I don’t think so, since she doesn’t get along with Linda”
“That’s the most pathetic rivalry I’ve ever witnessed”
“Linda is jealous of Foxy”
“It’s not jealousy. I don’t think so”
“But Foxy told me Linda is jealous of her because she is the reflection of what Linda wishes to
be”
“Foxy lied to you”
“What? Then why do they hate each others guts?”
“They’re just the same person. They hate each other because they’re alike. There’s no
jealousy”
“But Foxy told me that Raymond once had a crush on her and Linda liked Raymond so she was
jealous of the fact that Raymond liked Foxy and not her. That’s back when they weren’t dating.
Foxy didn’t like Raymond, she rejected him and Raymond settled with Linda”
“No, Raymond and Linda were attracted to each other. Foxy was Linda’s friend. Ray started
dating Linda and he was messing around with Foxy, they had an affair. Linda found out that Ray
cheated on her and she ended their relationship. Ray stopped messing around with Foxy and
he begged Linda to take him back. Linda took him back and a few months later they had a baby.
Maybe Foxy and Linda might be jealous of each other but I think they don’t like each other
because they’re the same person. Does that make sense to you?”
“It does, yeah. Tell me, where did Foxy and Linda meet? I heard Linda was a stripper”
“Yes Linda was a stripper but she stopped after she found out she was pregnant. Foxy’s father
was a priest and she was limited to do certain things. When Foxy passed matric, she went to
study at varsity and she met Linda at Club Phoenix. She would sneak out of Res just to come to
Club Phoenix. That’s all I know”
“She used to date Rashidi, right?”
“I don’t know if I should dig deep into that”
“Why? Come on. We’re talking, you told me about Foxy and Raymond. Why can’t you tell me
about Foxy and Rashidi?”
“You know why”
“I don’t know. Why?”
“Because Rashidi likes you a lot and I don’t want to make things awkward between the two of
you”
“Me and Rashidi are not dating. He’s just my friend”
“But he likes you a lot – you know that”
“I know but I’m not committing a crime”
“No one said you are, but I think you guys will make a great couple”
“Rashidi is just my friend”
“For now…”
“Stop forcing what’s not there”
“Are you kidding me? You like him. I know you do!”
“Let’s change the subject”
“I know the truth hurts”
“Let’s act like we never had this chat”
“I’m a good actor”
“So, what are you wearing tonight?”
I spent the afternoon at Kwame’s house, he’s so fun to be around and he talks a lot! I still can’t
believe Foxy lied to me.
The pool party is something to look forward to though. I can’t wait!
**********
It was party time.
Linda invited a few of her close friends, Raymond invited his friends and his biggest customer,
Martin. I was surprise to see Foxy at the party, she was Martin’s date for the evening.
I was with Rashidi, Kwame, Uche, Hakeem and Adelphe. Linda invited a dj, he was on fire. Foxy
was with Martin and Raymond, she looked bored.
“I heard you’ll be blazing us with your incredible presence”, said Uche.
“Yeah”, I replied.
“I’ll be throwing money like those ballers”, said Rashidi.
I gave him a nasty stare – he knows we spoke about this.
“You should teach me your moves”, said Hakeem jokingly.
I laughed.
“Where will this practice take place? In the bedroom?” asked Kwame. He’s such a joker.
“I wouldn’t mind. Nosi, I wouldn’t mind”, said Hakeem.
Rashidi was playing along – although he looked like he didn’t like what his friends were saying
to me. I knew they were joking, I was playing along.

“She has this move, man. Her ass pops out, that shit is sexy”, said Hakeem.
“I would marry her everyday”, said Uche.
“I would marry her every hour”, said Kwame.
“She wouldn’t marry neither of you. She probably won’t be ready for marriage”, said Rashidi. I
knew he meant it but I tried not to react.
“Nosi are you tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind the whole day”, said Uche.
I laughed so hard.
These guys are so fun to be around.
“Nosi, I’m writing a telephone book. Can I have your number?” asked Adelphe jokingly.
“So this is what you say to girls? Come on guys, step up your game”, I said.

Linda called me, it was time for me to pole dance. The dj turned up the music, I was ready to do
my thing. A few minutes later I was working the pole. Everyone was enjoying my performance. I
felt so good, I could see Raymond staring at me. Our eyes met, he looked away.
After I was done dancing, people kept complimenting me on my pole dancing skills. I went to
drink with Rashidi, Uche, Kwame, Hakeem and Adelphe. Linda, Raymond, Foxy and Martin
were talking – well, Raymond and Martin were doing the talking. I can imagine how awkward
things are between Linda and Foxy.
I was so tipsy. I saw Raymond entering the house alone. I just wanted to confront him,
something told me not to go but I went inside the house. I saw him in the kitchen, he was
looking for more glasses. I could tell he was shocked to see me there.
“Uhm…Nosi? Are you stalking me?” he asked.
“How could you do that to me? After all that talk?” I asked.
“I did what was best”
“Best for who? You or her?”
“For the both of us. Nosi, you should understand that you came into my life when Linda was
already there”
“So?”
“You should understand”
“You played me! I thought you cared for me”
“I do care, if I didn’t do you think I would’ve let you stay here? Of course not!”
“So what’s gonna happen now?”
“I’m gonna go outside and act like this conversation never happened”
“Just like that? No apology? Nothing?”
“I don’t owe you an apology. You owe me an apology for not answering my phone calls. That’s
rude”
“Whatever Raymond! Do you! I don’t care about you and your evil girlfriend turned fiancée”
“If you didn’t care about me, you wouldn’t be here discussing this with me”
I stormed out. I was so angry. I drank my sorrows away – well, I think I did.
People left, the party was over. Rashidi was cleaning the garden. Raymond and Martin were
inside enjoying a game of soccer. Foxy was sitting beside Martin, acting like she was enjoying
football. Linda was also cleaning the garden. I was so drunk, I was laying with my face facing
up.
“Nosipho you’re drunk. Go to sleep”, said Linda.
“Don’t tell me what to do! You’re not my mother”, I said angrily.
“I know I’m not your mother but you should go to sleep. You look tired”, said Linda.
“I look tired? I look tired? How does a tired person look like?”
“You’re obviously drunk”
“I’m drunk so what? Is it your problem?”
“You’re in my garden, so it’s my problem”
“You mean Raymond’s garden?”
“Go to sleep. You’re seriously drunk”
“Don’t tell me what to do!”
“Nosipho. Listen to Linda, please go to sleep”, said Rashidi.
“I wasn’t talking to you. Shut up! Shut up! I wasn’t talking to you”, I said angrily. I had so much
anger.
“Ok, I’ll shut up”, said Rashidi.
“Just because this is your house you think you can control me? I’m not your puppet. Do you
hear me Linda? I’ve been too patient with you – I’m losing my patience with you”, I said.
“I’ll tell you tomorrow everything you said, I’m sure you would laugh”, said Linda trying to change
the subject.

Raymond came out of the house.

“What’s going on here?” asked Raymond.
“She’s drunk”, said Linda.
“Go to your bedroom Nosi”, said Raymond.
“Don’t talk to me, you bloody liar!” I screamed.
“What’s wrong with this girl?” asked Linda. She was slowly losing her cool.
“Do you want to know what’s wrong with me?” I asked moving towards her.
“You’re drunk”, she said.
“Ask your man. He knows everything. I’m not dumb! I’m very smart. Unlike you, you Linda! You
are so dumb. You didn’t see it coming did you?” I asked her. I was ready to speak it all.
Martin and Foxy came out of the house.
“Is everything alright?” asked Martin. I could see Foxy was confused.
“Tonight I’m going to tell everyone how I feel about each and everyone of you”, I shouted.
“I think we should leave”, said Martin looking at Foxy.
“No! Stay there. Don’t leave”, I said.
Raymond looked at me. I wasn’t going to back down.
“I thought you had my back Foxy. I thought you were real with me. I heard everything, you lied
to me. Why didn’t you tell me you once had an affair with Raymond? Why didn’t you tell me you
are Rashidi’s ex? The day I came to surprise you, you told me you were out. I went to visit
Adelphe and I went back to check if you were home but when I was approaching your flat. I saw
you with Martin. I thought you were real with me”, I shouted.
“I didn’t mean to keep things from you”, said Foxy.
“You told me Linda was evil, that I shouldn’t trust her but you’re the same person”, I said.
“Don’t compare me with Linda. We’re not the same person – not even close. I don’t use people”,
said Foxy. She was starting to get agitated.
I saw Linda talking to herself. I think she was calming herself.
“Let’s go Foxy”, said Martin.
“And you? Martin, you told Raymond if he wants to keep your partnership, he should convince
me to sleep with you. Raymond, you told me you were going to fix it. What did you do? Did you
beg Foxy to sleep with him?” I asked.
“I don’t have time for this”, said Martin walking away.
“Nosipho go to your bedroom…Now!”, ordered Raymond.
“Our friendship was a coincidence. I told myself to never befriend a female stripper. I couldn’t
afford another heartbreak. I met you, Nosipho. Our friendship was too good to be true. I never
had a friend who cared so much about me. But…our friendship turned another direction. You
became a different person, you became selfish. I guess having all those ballers throwing cash at
you really made your ego big. Before you judge me look at yourself. I’m sorry for not telling you
all those things”, said Foxy and she left with Martin.
Rashidi just left without saying a word.

“So you think you’re smart?” asked Linda.

“I know I am”, I said.
“Really?” asked Linda.
“I’m smarter than you”, I said.
“You think so?” she asked.
“I slept with Raymond”, I said out of the blue.
Linda was silent. Raymond scratched his head.
“I had an affair with your man. He told me he likes me more than you”, I said.
“If you were smart, you would’ve known he was lying to you”, said Linda. “He wasn’t. We had
sex”, I said.
“Stop lying to yourself. Our project was a success. Thanks to you”, said Linda.
“What project?” I asked. I was confused.
“Ever since I met you in the village I knew that’s it. You really wanted to go to the city, you were
desperate. I told Raymond, we found ourselves the right person. Raymond has been trying
different ingredients for his new drug, he just wanted someone to test the drug. When I met you,
I knew you were the right candidate. Raymond didn’t like you, he was using you. He wanted to
act like he had feelings for you just so he can manipulate you. We spiked your drink, more than
twice. We observed what the drug did to you. It seemed to work just fine, thank you so much –
the drug is really selling by the way”, said Linda.
“You could’ve killed me”, I said. I was shocked and angry.
“The inflatable swimming pools you used to deliver were full of cocaine. You were delivering
drugs. Now tell me, how smart are you? We outsmarted you”, bragged Linda.
I felt like crying but I just stood there, I can’t believe they played me like that.
“I think you should move out. Here – you can use my card to pay for your living”, said Raymond
handing me his platinum card.
“You can keep your card and your car. I’m moving out”, I said angrily.
“No, keep the car. You will need it”, said Raymond.
Maybe I should keep the car, I’ll really need it. I went to my bedroom, packed all my clothes and
left with my car. I booked a room at a hotel.
When I get back up on my feet, Linda and Raymond will be sorry they ever double crossed me!
**********
I woke up at the hotel. I couldn’t believe what happened last night, I could remember everything.
I could hear Linda’s voice in my head screaming, “We outsmarted you”. Living in a hotel is really
expensive. Today I have to look for an affordable flat to rent.
I signed out of the hotel. I dragged my suitcases and I started looking for a flat. Almost every
building I visited, the landlord had the same story, “The flats are occupied”. I felt like giving up,
maybe I should sleep at a hotel tonight too but I couldn’t afford to spend money like that. I’m
now unemployed and homeless. I looked everywhere for a place to live, luckily I entered
another building and there were unoccupied flats. I met the landlord, Mr Smith.
“There are two kinds of flats in this building, one bedroom flats and two bedroom flats. And also
furnished flats and not furnished flats. What suits your needs?” asked Mr Smith.
“One bedroom furnished flat”, I replied. “Ok, that would be R2000”, said Mr Smith.
No ways! I can’t pay R2000 every month, I’m unemployed!
“How much is the cheapest flat?” I asked.
“One bedroom unfurnished is R1000”, replied Mr Smith.
It’s affordable but it’s unfurnished! I must buy my own furniture and that’s another costly thing.
“Sorry, I can’t take that one either. I don’t have enough money to buy furniture”
“You can share a flat with someone. There’s a female university student who arrived last
month. She’s been seeking a flat mate for a while. When you share a flat, you pay half”
“Ok. What kind of flat does she rent?”
“Two bedroom flat, furnished. The total is R3000 but if you take the offer and stay with her,
you’ll pay 50% of the total amount”
“I think I’ll settle for that. Can I pay now?”
“Now? Of course! Why not? Please!”
I payed the 50% and Mr Smith directed me to my new flat.
I knocked on the door. The girl opened the door, she was pretty. She was wearing spectacles,
her hair was neatly pleated. When she said “hi”, I noticed she had bracelets on her teeth. She
looked like a geek.
“I’m Nosipho Ndamase and I’m your new flat mate”, I said confidently.
“My new? My new…flat mate?” she asked. She looked confused.
“I already payed my 50% don’t be surprised. Mr Smith told me you wanted a flat mate. I guess
your wish came true. Can I enter my flat now? Thanks”, I said.
I could see she was surprised. I’m sure my personality also blew her away.
“I’m Mbali Zondi. I’m a first year student at UJ. Can I get you anything?” she asked politely.
“No thanks. I’m fine”, I said.
The flat was beautiful and very neat. She looks like a neat freak. There were books everywhere.
“I – I – I…didn’t know someone was coming. I should’ve cleaned up”, she said nervously.
“It’s your flat too, so chill”, I said.
“That room on your right is your bedroom”, she said.
“Okay. Don’t you get lonely in here?” I asked.
“I – I – I’m usually at school. And also the library”, she replied.
She looked nervous.
“Do your friends come to visit?” I asked.
“Friends? I don’t have friends”
“What do you mean, you don’t have friends? Even animals have friends”
“I’m not that social. I’m a quiet person, I love my space”
“Where are you from?”
“Durban”
“Ok”

This Mbali girl looks like a weirdo.

Let’s hope I get back up on my feet. I really need to get back up!

Part 7: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

Mbali had morning classes. She is a science student – I forgot what she studies but I don’t really
care. What I care about the most is getting back up. I need to find a job – fast!
I decided to go look for a stripper job because I know I had a reputation in that field. People love
me! I know they do. As I was searching for a club, I came across Poker Face Strip Club. The
club looked so professional and beautiful on the outside. I decided to try my luck at Poker Face
Strip Club.
The manager told me to wait for the owner. A group of girls were standing in a queue. I’m sure
they’re also here for the same reason. I looked around, I saw competition. They looked like they
were models, I know I don’t stand a chance against them. The owner came, I was shocked.
King Pin? What does he want here? Is he the owner? If he is, I’m sure he won’t choose me after
I rejected him more than once. He told us he will call every girl in his office for a short interview.
I wanted to leave because I know I don’t stand a chance with him.
I watched the girls coming in and out of his office. Finally it was my turn. I entered his office, he
was a bit surprised to see me.
“I thought my partnership with Raymond is over. What are doing here?” he asked.
“I’m no longer working for Raymond”, I told him.
He didn’t believe me. He laughed.
“I’m serious. I’m no longer working for Raymond. We had a major complication, look, I don’t
wanna talk about that. But I’m serious, I don’t work for him”, I said trying to justify myself.
“How would I know that this isn’t a trap?” he asked.
“What trap? Why would I do that? Why would Raymond do that?” I asked.
“Why wouldn’t he?” he asked.
I thought about it. If Raymond and that snake of his are capable of doing what they did to me,
what else can’t they do?
“So, why are you here?” asked King Pin
“I need a job, King Pin”
“Did your boss leave you out in the cold?”
“No. He…There were complications”
“What complications?”
“It’s confidential”
“I don’t trust you”
“Why? Why are you giving me a tough time? Is it because I rejected you? Why?”
“Calm your vagina! I’m not giving you a tough time. I just don’t trust you. Why would I trust
someone who worked for my enemy and has no explanation why she left?”
“You can trust me”
“They all say that”
“I just want to be on the pole. I don’t need nothing more or less from you”
“We both know I could hire you. I just don’t know if I can trust you”
“What can I do to earn your trust?”
“Well… – ”
“Please don’t tell me to have sex with you”
“I only chased you once. I no longer have those silly feelings for you…well, it was more lust
than feelings. Anyway, I’m surrounded by women”
“Do I have the job?”
“Not so fast uhm…what’s your name again?”
“Nosipho”
“Yes, Nosipho. Look – ”
“I hate Raymond as much as you do. I want revenge. Yeah, I said it! The reason why I’m here
is because I want revenge. I want to work hand in hand with you. I hate Raymond and that witch
Linda. They’re going to pay for everything they did to me”
King Pin laughed.
“Really! I hate Raymond and his witch with a passion”, I said.
“Ok”, said King Pin unconvincingly.
“His new drug is selling”, I said out of the blue.
King Pin was suddenly curious.
“If you really hate Raymond and you want to bring him down. Then you should work hand in
hand with me, because I once worked there and I have a glimpse of how things operate there. If
you were really smart, you would work hand in hand with me”, I said.
“The job is yours”, said King Pin
I knew I got him.
“What do I get?” I asked him.
“A job. What else do you want?”
“Promotion”
“What promotion?”
“You know”
“You want to be more than a stripper?”
“Yeah”
“First earn my trust then I’ll promote you”
King Pin is really smart.
“Ok, understandable”
“You’ll start tomorrow night”
We shook hands.

I think I’m getting there!

**********
The next morning, Mbali was getting ready to go to class. I was drinking coffee, watching her
move around.
I don’t understand this girl. She eats, lives and breaths books. After class, she always goes to
the library. She was going to school for the both of us – I mean, really? Her style is whack – she
reminds me of myself when I first came to Johannesburg. I just had to help this girl.
“We should go shopping this afternoon”, I said.
She looked puzzled. I saved money, I guess it won’t hurt to help her out. She needs it.
“I – I – I don’t have money”, she stuttered.
“Don’t worry. It’s all on me”, I said.
“Huh? You don’t have to. Really, I – I – I…you don’t have to really”, she said.
“I said don’t worry. It’s all on me. Really, don’t worry”, I said.
Mbali went to class.

I decided to think to myself, what must I do to earn King Pin’s trust? Obviously I have to help
him bring Raymond down, but Raymond is a tough nut to crack. I have to have someone who’s
in Raymond’s circle or works at Club Phoenix. Suddenly, Rashidi and Foxy popped up on my
mind. After the altercation that happened days ago, I don’t think they even want to talk to me. I
understand Foxy’s case but Rashidi? He likes me and I think maybe I should use his weakness
to benefit myself.
I should just get a hold of Raymond’s confidential files. I decided to send Rashidi a BBM but he
didn’t respond. I sent him multiple BBMs but he didn’t respond. Fuck it! I gave up.
When Mbali came back from her class, I drove her to the mall for some shopping.
We went to different clothing shops, tried different clothing. I helped Mbali pick some clothes.
We had fun.
When we went home it was a bit late. I went to work at Poker Face Strip Club, it was my first.
I run this…!
* ********
I went to Poker Face Strip Club for my first night on the pole. There were a lot of girls on the
pole, how am I going to get my own shine? I met a coloured girl, her name was Bridget – her
stripper name was Coco. She introduced me to all the girls.
She showed me the strippers’ locker room. The club was really beautiful, inside and outside.
Bridget told me she’s one of King Pin’s girlfriends. I was surprised that King Pin had many girls.
“He’s a great guy. We love him”, said Bridget.
“How many are you?” I asked.
“Six”, she replied.
I felt like laughing but I rather kept quiet.
I then started my shift. I was on the pole doing my thing, the club became more lively when I
was dancing on the pole. I can’t blame them, I have that kind of effect.
When I was done with my shift, King Pin told people that tomorrow there’s a braai at his house
and everyone is invited.
I went home and Mbali was already sleeping.
*sigh*
**********
Mbali didn’t go to class, she told me there wasn’t any class that day. I tried inviting her to King
Pin’s braai but she didn’t want to. I don’t know what’s wrong with her, it’s the only chance for her
to mingle with other people. I got a message from Rashidi, I was really excited. He wanted to
meet me at that restaurant.
I excitedly rushed to the restaurant. He was already there. I really missed him, he looked cuter
than the last time I saw him.
“Hey Rashidi”, I said hugging him.
He gave me a cold hug, I was stunned.
“Hey”, he said with a low voice.
“How are you? You look good”, I complimented.
“I’m ok. Can we cut to the chase?” he asked. He wasn’t interested.
“Yeah, why am I here?”
“I heard about you and Raymond. I can’t believe I was such a fool. No wonder you didn’t want a
relationship with me, you were messing around with Raymond. I’m disgusted”
“I don’t care if you’re disgusted or not. I can’t change the past – ”
“Such ignorance and arrogance!”
“Ok. I’m sorry but I can’t change the past. You’re a great guy and any girl would be happy to be
in a relationship with you. But I was real with you, I didn’t lead you on. We never kissed or did
anything”
“I know, but I really liked you. You knew that! I know you liked me too but you’re too proud to
admit it! I never felt that way about a girl before. You made me look stupid. I don’t like it when
people make me look stupid”
“Don’t judge me Rashidi! You don’t know me”
“With what you did with Raymond? I know girls like you too well!”
“You don’t know me Rashidi! I swear if you could walk in my shoes, you would fall! You know
my name and my face but not my story! Tell me what I already know Rashidi, tell me I’m a
foolish village girl. Tell me I’m a typical rural girl! Tell me I’m not that smart! Go ahead tell me
what I already know! What have I done to you people? Huh?”
“I… – ”
“You don’t know me Rashidi! You don’t know me! Don’t judge me! I left my village because of
people like you!”
“I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings but that’s the truth”
“You know what? Fuck you! Fuck your fake American accent! Fuck your cheesy text messages!
Fuck your friend Rashidi! Fuck your friend’s girlfriend! Fuck you and your stupid entourage!
Fuck you! Ok?”
I was angry.
“Don’t turn this around. It’s not about me, it’s about you. Fuck you too. I’ll delete your BBM
contact and I’ll block your phone number. Don’t call me, don’t send me your pathetic BBMs and
don’t text me. You’re arrogant, you think you know but you don’t know. If you’re not so arrogant
you would apologise to me. I’ve been too good to you, you’re misusing my goodness. Nosipho, I
just don’t care anymore. I had your back but you’ve shown your true colors. Goodbye!”
Rashidi left angrily. I didn’t care, he’s such a loser!
I went to King Pin’s house. Some strippers were decorating his house for the braai that will take
place this evening. I also helped with the decorating.
Hours later, the braai was underway. I was having fun, at least I’m not arguing with anyone.
King Pin called me, he wanted to introduce me to someone.
“Nosipho, this is Antonio. He’s been watching you the whole time. He just wants to have a word
with you”, said King Pin.
Antonio was Italian and really cute. He had an expensive looking wrist watch. He had a
wristband that had Italian flag colors.
“Hi, Nosipho”, he greeted me.
He had a sexy Italian accent.
“Hi”, I greeted back.
“I’m Antonio Albero. My friends call me Tony”, he said.
“I’m Nosipho Ndamase. You can call me Nosi”, I said.
“Nice name, zulu?” he asked.
“No, xhosa”
“Xhosa women are beautiful, you are very beautiful”
“Thank you”
“I love your smile. Your eyebrows remind me of my Italian people, they have thick eyebrows”
“Uhm… – ”
“I know maybe that’s a bit too much”
“No, it’s okay”
“I live in Sandton. Where do you live?”
“Rosebank”
“Ok, we should hang out sometime”
“Eish. I don’t know”
“Please give me your phone number. I really want to stay in contact with you”
“Ok. It’s 073 821 9902”
“Thanks. Nice chatting to you”
“Ok, bye”
Antonio looks like a good person. I went home with a white heart. The braai was fun.
Let’s do this! I got this city life on lock down!
**********
Two weeks later.
For the past few weeks, I’ve been trying my best to get into King Pin’s good books. I think he
trusts me now because I’m no longer a stripper at the club, I’m in charge of hiring strippers and
planning events.
My relationship with Antonio is great. He has been taking me out on several dates, he bought
me several luxurious gifts. Tony is 43 years old but the age difference isn’t a problem for me. I
like him a lot and I know he feels the same way about me.
Mbali has been the same old boring girl she is, nothing changed. But what changed though is
the fact that she wants a job. She tried different clothing stores but still no luck. After I disclosed
the job I did, Mbali was skeptic but she understood when all else fails, there’s no choice. She
didn’t judge me for being a former stripper and that made me respect her even more. She’s a
very intelligent girl.
Antonio decided to visit my flat. Mbali was studying, I was so happy to see Antonio. He bought
me flowers.
“Beautiful lady, how’s my beautiful lady today?” asked a bubbly Antonio.
“I’m good. How are you boo?” I asked.
“I’m fine now. You make me happy”, said Antonio.
“This is my flat mate Mbali”, I said.
“Mbali? That’s a beautiful name. Xhosa?” asked Antonio.
“No, zulu”, replied Mbali.
“Good to meet you, Mbali. I’m Antonio, but you can also call me Tony”, said Antonio.
Antonio had a restaurant, it’s a beautiful luxurious restaurant.
“Mbali has been looking for a job”, I told Antonio. I know he’ll offer her a job.
“You’re invited to work as a waitress at my restaurant. Well, that’s if it’s ok with you”, said
Antonio to Mbali.
I could see Mbali was happy but she couldn’t believe I told Antonio she was looking for a job.
“I’ll be more than happy, thank you”, said Mbali.
“So, when can she start?” I asked.
“This weekend. It’s Friday today, maybe tomorrow? What do you say Mbali?” asked Antonio.
“That would be great”, replied Mbali.
Antonio stayed for a couple of minutes, he was sharing his funny childhood memories, we
laughed so hard. It wasn’t long before I left with Antonio. We went to his restaurant for
something to eat.
Damn I’m good!

Part 8: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

Everytime I’m at Antonio’s restaurant, I can’t stop complimenting the design of the restaurant.
“Tell me Antonio, how do you do it?” I asked.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“The restaurant, this luxurious life, everything. What’s your recipe to such success?” I asked.
“Well, I work hard for my money”, he replied.
“I know you work hard for your money. But what’s the recipe to such success?” I asked again.
“Ssssh! It’s a secret”, he replied.
I laughed.
“Some guests will be joining us”, he said.
I was shocked.
“Ok”, I replied.
“They’re my friends”

30mins later Antonio’s friends arrived. They were tall and big. They were wearing expensive
suits, they looked like they were just like Antonio. He introduced me to his friends, Bruno,
Collins and Patrice. Bruno was Italian just like Antonio but he spent most of his years in South
Africa. Collins was born in South Africa, his mother is coloured and his dad who passed away
five years ago was Italian and great friends with Antonio’s dad who’s alive. Patrice is
Congolese, just like you know who (Raymond). Patrice looks like a white version of Raymond. I
don’t know why I’m even comparing him to that snake.
“Bella ragazza (beautiful girl)”, said Bruno in Italian.
“Hi”, I greeted.
“We’ve heard a lot about you”, said Patrice.
“Don’t worry, only good things”, said Collins.
“I must say, Antonio has a good eye”, said Bruno.
 They spent an hour or so complimenting me. I loved the attention but it felt really awkward. I
think Antonio was just using me as a show off. I was like a trophy and he was inviting people to
look at his trophy – felt like that. I’m not a person who’s shy of all the attention but sometimes I
think, “wrong timing”.
I don’t want to be anyone’s trophy but maybe I’m just overreacting.
I had a good time with Antonio and his friends. I went home and Mbali couldn’t stop telling me
how excited she is about the job. I was really happy for her, at least I played a role in all of that.
Once again, damn I’m good!
**********
It was a beautiful Saturday. I had a lot planned for the day. I was looking forward to reuniting
with Foxy. Oh, you didn’t know that? I’m too busy talking about this new gentleman in my life, I
forgot to tell you about my reunion with my former best friend.
Why reunite with Foxy? Well, firstly I need someone who works in Raymond’s business, as you
may know by now she’s a stripper at Raymond’s club. Secondly, I need more information about
Martin and lastly I want some solid proof to bring Raymond down.
Mbali went for her first shift as a part-time waitress. I went to meet Foxy.

Foxy was already waiting for me, she was excited to see me. She gave me a tight warm hug.
“It’s good to see you Nosi, you look so good”, she said.
“Thank you. You also look good”, I returned the compliment. She really looked good, I won’t lie.
“I’m sorry about – ”
“Don’t worry Foxy, it’s all in the past now. I want to move on”
“I also want to move on, wow. I can’t believe you just said that”
“Why can’t you believe? You’re my friend”
“Friend? Wow, yes friend. I really missed you”
“I missed you too. So, what’s happening at Phoenix?”
“Uhm…the usual, you know”
“No, I don’t know. So what’s happening there? Any new faces”
“A lot of new faces. There are new strippers and a new club manager. Guess who’s the new
club manager”
“Linda?”
“No, it’s Rashidi”
“Oh boy! So, is he doing a great job?”
 “Yeah, everything Rashidi does is good. There are rumors going round the club that Rashidi is
secretly dating Linda”
“What?!”
“That was my reaction at first. I wouldn’t be surprised if the rumors are true”
“Why would Linda cheat on a guy who buys her anything and everything? Raymond is Linda’s
life support. It doesn’t make sense”
“I know, right? I think they’re just rumors. Some people didn’t like the fact that Rashidi was
placed as manager. He doesn’t have any experience, he’s just a smart guy”
“Yeah. Anyway, what else is happening in the club? Are you dating Martin?”
“Speaking of Martin, he had a big brawl with Raymond”
“What was the cause of the brawl?”
“I don’t know”
“Aren’t you dating Martin?”
“I am but he doesn’t talk about business. He doesn’t mix business with pleasure”
“Alright”
“He’s a great guy. His business as a drug lord doesn’t really define him as a person. He has a
good heart”
“If you say so”
“How are you Nosi? What do you do now?”
“I’m just a normal girl again”
“You’re no longer a stripper?”
“Yeah, I’m an event planner and I hire strippers at this club”
“What club”
“Uhm…Poker Face Strip Club”
“Woah! PFSC is like Phoenix’s biggest rival. Did you know that?”
“No I didn’t”
“King Pin doesn’t get along with Raymond and my boyfriend”
“King Pin is a cool guy. You would love him”
“I don’t think it would be great for me to mingle with my boyfriend’s enemy. Sorry”
“I understand”
“Can we order now?”
“Oh yeah! Of course”

It was great meeting Foxy again, I won’t lie. She gave me great information although it isn’t
enough.

I won’t home and Mbali was already there. She was resting on the couch.
“How was your first day at work?” I asked her.
“Fine”, she replied.
She looked upset.
“You look happy”, I said sarcastically.
“Would you tell your friends something that would possibly destroy them?” She asked.
That’s strange.
“If you really love your friends, yeah”, I replied.
“What if it hurts them?” she asked.
“Well, the truth hurts but sometimes we hide things from our friends because we think we’re
protecting them. Rather kill me with the truth than poison me with lies”, I said.
She looked really uncomfortable.
“I don’t know where to start”, she said. She sat up.
“Are you hiding something from your friend?” I asked.
“I don’t know if you know this but I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable”, she said.
She was making me nervous.
“Your boyfriend is married”, said Mbali.
I was shocked. Why didn’t he tell me? I can’t stand men that lie to me. It happened once with
Raymond, I don’t want it to happen again.

“Antonio is married? How do you know?” I asked.

“He came to the restaurant with another lady. They were holding hands, I asked my co-worker
who the lady was and she told me the lady was Antonio’s wife, Bella. I’m sorry”
“It’s okay Mbali, you don’t need to be sorry. Men have screwed with my mind millions of times,
this isn’t the first. But I’m fucken disappointed in him. I thought he was matured and different. I
don’t know, thanks for the info”
“Please don’t tell him I told you. I don’t want to lose my job”
 “Don’t worry, I won’t drag your name into this. He must have a good explanation for this. I really
don’t know”
“I’m really sorry Nosipho”
“You don’t need to be, don’t be. He better have a good explanation”.
I couldn’t believe Antonio lied to me. Well, he never said he was single but he should have told
me something.
Mxm!
**********
I called Antonio early in the morning, I needed to see him urgently but he said he was. He
scheduled our “meeting” for this afternoon. I couldn’t eat breakfast because I kept thinking about
Antonio and this Bella.
Mbali told me she met a guy at the restaurant. The guy was flirting uncontrollably, he introduced
himself as Rashidi. I was shocked, I hope he’s not the Rashidi I know. He wanted to take her
out but she didn’t want.
Finally, I went to meet with Antonio. I waited for him in his restaurant. Mbali was working her
shift.
Antonio finally arrived.
“Hey sweetie, I’m sorry I’m late”, he said.
“It’s ok”, I said. It wasn’t really.
“What was so urgent that it couldn’t wait?” he asked.
“Who’s Bella?”
“My wife”
He said it with no remorse.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were married?” I asked furiously.
“Chill sweetie. I’m in the process of divorcing her. You could ask my friends, she moved out of
the house long time ago”
“What else are you not telling me? Do you have any children?”
“No, my wife is infertile so I don’t have any kids. I would love to though”
Awkward.
“I’ve been hurt before, I don’t want to be hurt again”, I said.
“You’ve probably been with boys and not men”, he said confidently.
“Well, more like men who act like boys”, I said.
“Don’t worry, I’m a real man”
“I know”
Mbali kept looking at us, I’m sure she was worried. When she saw we were laughing, she was
relieved.
I went to Antonio’s house. His house is a castle, it’s enormous. More beautiful than Raymond’s
house. I don’t know why I keep comparing things with Raymond. Anyway, Antonio’s house is
very beautiful. He went to use the bathroom, I looked around. I came across his office, I was so
curious I came in. I saw a picture of him and his family. I opened the drawer, I saw a file labeled,
“confidential”. I didn’t want to open it but I’m so curious, I slowly opened it. I just saw a list of
names written, as I was reading the names I saw King Pin and Raymond. I quickly paged
through the file, I went to Raymond’s section – whatever it was. I didn’t really read everything. I
was surprised to learn that Antonio sponsors Raymond. I quickly placed the file in the drawer,
as I was leaving Antonio’s office I bumped into him, that gave me a fright.
“You scared me”, I said breathless.
“Sorry, do you want water?” he asked.
“No, I’m fine”
“What were you doing there?”
“Your family picture is really beautiful”
“Oh? Thanks. Can I get you anything to drink? I have some fine wine”
“I would like some juice, please”
“Ok, let me get you some juice”

Antonio poured me some orange juice. We had a long heart to heart conversation. Antonio is a
wise man.
When I left, it was already dark outside. Mbali was worried but when I told her everything she
was happy for me.
Finally, things are getting much better!
**********
Mbali was attending her classes. I went to Club Phoenix. I saw Rashidi, he didn’t speak to me –
I didn’t care. The club didn’t have a lot of people because it was still morning time. I decided to
go to Raymond’s office.
The office was already open, I just stood at the door. Raymond was shocked to see me. I went
to sit on the chair opposite him. He looked at me without uttering a word. Finally, he spoke to
me.
“Why are you here? I told you to take my credit card”, he said.
“I don’t need your credit card, I’m well on my own”
“Ok, that was just a friendly gesture. I heard you work for King Pin now”
“Do you have a problem with that?”
“No – no, not at all. I don’t really give a shit about King Pin, he’s definitely in my bad books”
“I heard – ”
“And you decided to work for him to spite me?”
“I didn’t even know he owned that club – ”
“Ah…drop the act – ”
“I didn’t. Whatever! Believe all you want”
“Why are you here? Did King Pin send you to spy on me?”
“Spy on you? You don’t have anything good going on here, why would I spy on you?”
“I don’t know…maybe revenge? You tell me”
“You still haven’t apologised to me. What you did to me was really…bad”
“I don’t owe you an apology. I scratched your back and you scratched mine”
“You drugged me! You would’ve killed me!”
“You’re alive. Anyway that drug doesn’t kill and don’t worry it doesn’t make people get hooked.
It’s just a happy drug. No harm in being happy”
“Raymond you’re a sick bastard! You and your psycho girlfriend Linda!”
“I have work to do, please close the door on your way out”
“Stephen has psycho, evil parents! I feel sorry for him!”
“Don’t bring my son into this!”
“Why? Why Raymond? Oh, what are you going to do? Drug me again?”
“Leave my office before I call security”
“I won’t leave this office”
“You’re so stubborn. Nosipho, tell me…why do you think you have the world wrapped around
your pinky finger? You think you know everything. Leave this business to us professionals,
you’re an amateur, little girl. Go work as a cashier or a waitress, anything suitable for little girls
like you”
“I’m not a little girl! Stop with the name calling!”
“You’re not clever as you think. You’re just a naïve little girl who left home hoping for a perfect
life – ”
“This amateur, stupid, naïve girl knows that Antonio is doing business with you. He’s a huge
contributor in your business and he’s my boyfriend. Did you know that?”
Raymond was confused and taken back.

“I know you want me to payback for all of my sins. I know you’re seeking revenge. I’m just
waiting for you to strike because I know you will. Just get this done with, avenge already.
Doesn’t this kill you? Doesn’t it kill you that I know that you’re going to strike? I know for sure
that it’s not exciting anymore. I’m sorry for being a party pooper. Oops! That was meant to be a
surprise for me. I’m sorry I ruined it for you”
“I won’t do anything to you Raymond. The only thing that would kill you is seeing this amateur,
stupid, naïve girl succeed. It would kill you. I know that!”
“You’re so sure. I don’t really care about you Nosipho”
“Then you must learn to care about me because I’m Antonio’s girlfriend and you have to treat
me with respect. Let me go now, maybe I’ll see you in Antonio’s meetings. Please kiss Stephen
on the forehead for me, and push Linda off the balcony for me. Bye”
I left. He was silent, I knew I got to him. I knew it!
I went to work. As you may know by now, I’m no longer a stripper. I’m in charge of hiring
strippers. I go to different strip clubs and I observe strippers and offer them a deal. It’s either
they take it or leave it – well, with the money Poker Face Strip Club pays their strippers, they
take the deal. I also plan events for the club, I’m planning to get some celebrities and host them
but for all I know, celebrities are full of shit. I have my own little cute office, yay!
I told you, I run this shit!
**********
The following day, I met with two strippers from Club Phoenix. I offered them an amazing deal
and they accepted right away. So, I poached two strippers from Club Phoenix – it’s not payback
or anything, it’s just that I’m concerned about their money stability. Poker Face Strip Club pays
strippers a lot of money, I did them a favor – I’m not spiting anyone. Ha!

I decided to go do my grocery at the supermarket and I met, oh boy, Linda. Kill me now.
“Hi Nosipho”, greeted Linda.
“Who are you? Do I know you?” I asked. I was just acting.
“Come on Nosipho, drop the act”, said Linda.
“Who are you?” I asked.
“Linda”, replied Linda rolling her eyes.
“Oh? I didn’t know it was you. I just saw a snake but now I see it’s you”, I said ridiculing her.
“Whatever. You’re still holding a grudge for what Raymond did to you?” She asked.
“Clearly Raymond didn’t do that alone. Remember?”
“I know. And I’m really sorry”
“No, you’re not sorry Linda. You’re just saying sorry nje”
“Do you know how hard it was for me? No! You don’t know”
“Tell me Linda. What was hard? Telling me the truth or asking me to leave your house?”
“Everything was hard. I didn’t want Raymond to do that to you – ”
“Bullshit!”
“Really, when Raymond told me his plan – I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t know how to face
you…that’s why I always went out without telling you where I’m going. I didn’t talk to you
because I was so guilty”
“I don’t believe you. You said ever since you saw me back at the village you knew I was the
one. Tell me Linda, why did you go to the village? To come back with someone like me? Yes,
right?”
“No. Nosipho I’m not the bad man here, Raymond is”
“Trying to stop Raymond doesn’t count because you did it anyway. You’re as bad as him”
“It’s the thought that matters”
“Fuck you Linda. You stupid bitch! You and your evil boyfriend are going to pay for everything
you did to me”
“Raymond was right about you! You’re not Nosipho, you’re someone else. All you have on your
mind is revenge. I don’t know what I created. I shouldn’t have came to Johannesburg with you if
I knew you were psycho!”
“You’re a snake”
“If I’m a snake then you’re looking at the mirror Nosipho. You’re seeing your own reflection”
“Get a life Linda. Stop living under Raymond’s shadow”
“You should consider going home. I got a call from Melusi the other day. Your mom is in
hospital, she’s sick because of you. Go back home, your family and the villagers are worried”
“I…I don’t want to go back yet”
“What? And your mother? Your family? The worried villagers? You should go home Nosipho.
It’s been a while now”
“I don’t want to go back. What’s your problem? You’re not my mother! Why don’t you go back
home and stop living under Raymond’s shadow?”
“The major difference between me and you is that you have a family and I don’t. Go back home
Nosipho, stop with the whole tough girl act. Your family needs you. You don’t have to stay there
forever, just go visit your mother in hospital and your people”
“I know it hurts you to have me here in Johannesburg. It hurts you more to see me succeed
without your help. You like to be on the spotlight, you’re jealous of my shine”
 “So this is what this is all about? Spotlight? I’ve been there and done that. Your arrogance is a
serious problem – ”
“Why don’t you tell Raymond the truth?”
“What truth?”
“You’re having an affair with Rashidi!”
“Really? Oh, I didn’t know that”
“Stop acting Linda! You’re having an affair with Rashidi”
“Rumors don’t shake me!”
“Rumors? Ha! Whatever”
I left angrily, I wish like punching Linda on the mouth. I left my grocery and stormed out of the
supermarket.
I went straight to Antonio’s restaurant. I saw Rashidi sweet talking Mbali, I couldn’t care less
about their stupid high school relationship. I ordered something to eat. Mbali was talking to
Rashidi, she wasn’t working. The waiter came with my food – it looked so good. As I was eating
Rashidi and Mbali kept looking at me. I wonder what Rashidi was telling Mbali. Suddenly, some
woman came and sat at my table. I stopped eating and looked at her, I was puzzled.
“Can I help you?” I asked.
“Stay away from my husband, young girl”, this woman said.
Oh, this was Bella? She looked like she was in her late 30s, she had big hair. Her skin was
tanned and she had make-up. She looked like she stepped out of a Jerseylicious scene. She
was Italian and a pretty woman.
“You must be Bella?” I asked.
“You must be that whore my husband is messing around with?”, she asked sarcastically.
“I heard a lot about you”, I said. I was so calm.
“I don’t care what you’ve heard. Stay away from my husband and go to school”
“Your husband is divorcing you – ”
“He won’t divorce me!”
“You’re crazy! Get out of my face!”
“Stay away from my man!”
We were definitely causing a scene. People were looking at us. It was out of my league to fight
for a man in public. I just went out, she followed me outside. Some people came out of the
restaurant, people who were walking outside stopped walking and watched.

“Stay away from my man! You whore!”, Bella yelled.

“Tell your man to stay away from me then”, I said calmly.
Antonio arrived. He tried stopping his crazy wife.
“Bella are you insane?” He asked.
“Stay away from her, you love me not her”, Bella said crying.
This was really pathetic, I went to my car. As I was opening my car door, Antonio stopped me.
“Please, forgive her. She’s insane”, said Antonio.
“This is embarrassing Antonio, I don’t do these things. I don’t fight for a man in public”, I said.
“I apologise. I’m sure she had a lot to drink”, said Antonio.
“Don’t make up excuses for her. She’s not drunk nor is she tipsy. She’s a maniac. Obviously
she is obsessed with you”, I said.
I got into my car.
“Take care of her, I’ll call you”, I said.
“Ok. I love you”, said Antonio.
“I love you too”, I replied.
I took off.

Bad!

Part 9: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

As I was driving to this place, I saw Raymond’s car parked next to a tree. He was inside his car,
talking to some girl. I didn’t see the girl properly but that wasn’t Linda. I slowed my car, I parked
in a parking lot full of cars. The girl came out of the his car, she was pregnant. I drove away. I
didn’t know what to make of it.
I drove to this place. It was a big house. I pressed the intercom and stated why I was there. The
gate opened. A security showed me inside the house.
There were many girls. I asked a few girls where Mr X’s office was and they directed me.
Mr X’s office was open, he was sitting on his chair which was facing away. I could only see his
back.
“Mr X? I have a delivery for you”, I said. He turned, and oh my goodness, I was surprised.
“Rashidi? What are you doing here?” I asked, I was surprised.
“What are you doing here?” He asked.
“I came to deliver this. What are you doing here?” I asked him again.
“I came to visit a friend”, he said.
“Where’s Mr X?”
“You can drop the package here, I’ll tell him – ”
“I can’t do that. I need to speak to Mr X”
“He’s out”
“The girls told me that he’s here”
“He’s out. Drop the package and leave”
“I’m afraid I can’t. I’ll come back tomorrow”
Rashidi quickly stood up and went to close the door.
“You don’t want any problem, right? Drop the package”, he said with a nasty look on his face.
“No!”
“Stop being fucking stupid!”
“Rashidi, let me first call King Pin”
“Don’t call him. Why can’t you listen to me? Drop the package and leave, is it that difficult?”
“I don’t trust you Rashidi”

A girl called out, “Mr X, there’s someone here for you”.

I was confused.
“Mr X? Rashidi? Are you Mr X?” I asked him.
“I have a guest”, he said trying his best to avoid answering my question.

The guest entered his office. How surprising can this be?
“Hey Nosipho, how are you?” asked Martin.
“I’m fine thanks, and you?”
“I’m great. Say hi to Antonio for me”
“I will”
“The atmosphere is tensed here, can I give you guys some time?” He asked.
“No, Nosipho was about to drop the package and leave”, said Rashidi.

I didn’t know what to say, I dropped the package and left.

When I was just entering my car, Rashidi came rushing towards me.
“I know I’m the last asshole you want to have a heart to heart with, but I need to talk to you. Can
we meet at our favorite restaurant?” Asked Rashidi. “Why would I say yes?” I asked.
“Out of curiosity. I know you’re curious about what just happened there. At least give me the
chance to tell you what’s going on”, he said.
“Why can’t you just tell me right now?”
“I can’t”
“You’ve been nothing but rude to me Rashidi. I don’t give a shit about what you have to say. I
don’t know what you’re up to, why would you order a package from King Pin? Are you ordering
it for Raymond?”
“If you want to know my side of the story, meet me at that restaurant. Please don’t tell King Pin,
I beg you, please”
“I won’t tell him. Okay, I’ll meet you there – tomorrow morning, at ten?”
“Sounds good to me”
“Whatever”
“Thank you”
“Don’t thank me”

I drove away. I can’t believe what just happened. Am I dreaming? I went straight home, I gave
King Pin a call and he was very happy that the package was safely delivered.
Mbali was watching tv and I joined her.
**********
I told Mbali that Antonio bought me a new house and new car. She was so surprised, she
couldn’t believe it. She kept saying it’s too good to be true. I don’t care, that’s all I ever wanted.
My dream is slowly becoming a reality.
I showed Mbali the video of her really high, she was so embarrassed. I think she was mad of me
for recording that video. I didn’t send her to Rashidi and company, I was recording for the sake
of entertainment.
I packed my clothes and I was ready to move into my new house. I was so excited, I promised
to visit Mbali once in a while.
When I got to my new house, I couldn’t believe a girl like me from a very small village in the
Eastern Cape can own a big house like this. I was very excited, if only I had my family by my
side, my friends. I just wished I could drag my pastor and ask him, “What about the city again?” I
was the happiest girl in the world.
Antonio came to visit me.
“Do you like your new house?” he asked.
“Yes, I love it”, I replied. I really did.
“I’m glad you like it. Now you know how I feel about you”
“Yes. I’ve never met a man who – ”
“Who what?”
“Who did everything for me. I thought that happened in the movies, this is too good to be true.
It’s like I’m living in a dream, I’m waiting for anyone to wake me up now”
“Well, can I pinch you? Because you’re not dreaming”
“Have I ever told you I love you?”
“Yes, but I don’t mind hearing that a million times”
“I love you Antonio”
“I love you too, Nosipho”
“You’re a great man Tony”
“Thank you. So, when am I meeting your family? You never talk much about your family”
“You never talk much about your family too”
“Well, my family live in Italy. But my parents once lived in South Africa for a while but they’re in
Italy now. What about your family?”
“They live in Eastern Cape”
“When am I meeting them?”
“Soon”
“I can’t wait to meet your family. I know they’re good people because you’re a great person.
You only come from the best”
“Yeah, they are. How’s your divorce going?”
“Oh, my divorce is going great. In a few days, I will be officially divorced”
“Is Bella going to get 50% of your stuff?”
“No! She came into my marriage with nothing, she will leave with nothing”
“Damn. I bet that’s good though”
“It is for me, for her? A nightmare”
“I want to have a braai. I want to invite a few friends, I just want to celebrate my new home”
“Sounds great, baby, that’s actually a great idea. Can I invite a few of my friends too?”
“Yes, why not? I like your friends, they’re cool people. Please invite them”
“I will. Babe, I have to go somewhere, I just remembered I had to deliver something to Martin”
“Martin?”
“Yeah, Raymond introduced Martin to me. I believe you’ve met him?”
“Met him?”
“You told me”
“I told you? Oh yes, I kinda know him because my friend is dating him”
“I have to deliver something to him”
“What’s that?”
“It’s just a letter”
“I can deliver it for you”
“What about work?”
“King Pin would understand”
“King Pin hates Martin”
“I will make up an excuse. I mean, he’s your friend, right? King Pin respects you, he will
understand”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, give me the letter”
“Ok. Thank you so much babe”
Antonio rushed to his car and he came back with the letter.
“Here’s the letter”, he said.
“I’ll deliver it now, now”, I said.
“I’ll have a rest here”, said Antonio.
“Don’t worry baby, relax and take a well deserved rest”, I said.

I left for Martin’s house.

I hope he’s at home.
**********
I drove to Martin’s place. Martin was locking the gate when I got there. He stood there and
looked at me, I don’t think he recognised me.
“Hey Martin”, I said.
“Did Raymond send you here?” he asked.
“No, Antonio sent me”, I said.
I could see his face changing.
“Aren’t you going to let me in?” I asked.
He looked dazed.
“Of course, come in”, he said opening the gate for me.
Martin led me inside his house.
“Make yourself comfortable”, he said.
“Thank you”
“So Antonio sent you here?”
“Yeah, I have a letter for you”
“A letter?”
“Yes”
“Uhm…wow, that’s a first”
“A first?”
“I mean, he never wrote me a letter before. Can I get you anything to drink?”
“I’m fine thanks”
“You’re Antonio’s delivery girl now?”
“No, he’s my boyfriend. I just offered my help”
“Offered your help?”
“Yeah, he’s been really good to me”
“Oh really?”
“Yeah”
“Are you sure you’re not using that as an excuse to come over”
“Come over and do what?”
“I don’t know. Whatever you girls do”
“I’m not that type”
“Not that type? I know what type of girl you are”
“You don’t know me”
“I don’t know you, yes. But I just think I know what type of girl you are”
“Everyone has thoughts. Keep thinking”
“There’s just something about you. I don’t know, but…whatever. Can I have the letter now?”
“Thought you’ve never ask”
I gave Martin the letter and he put the letter in the drawer.
“What made you leave your first job?” he asked.
“Which one?” I asked.
“Being Raymond’s delivery girl. The last time I saw you, you were really angry”
“I was”
“Remind me to not get on your bad side”
“Yeah, well, what can I say?”
“We should have a double date some time. You know, me, you, Foxy and Antonio”
“Sounds like a great idea. How about tomorrow evening?”
“Great! Why not?”
“That would be fun”
“Very”
“We can meet at Antonio’s restaurant”
“My favorite spot”
“Okay then, I’ll Antonio know about the double date”
“I’ll let Foxy know as well”
“Okay. Uhm…bye”
“Let me show you the way”
“Alright”
Martin is a cool guy, Foxy was right.

I called Antonio and told him that I delivered the letter to Martin. I also told him about the double
date, he was also excited. I told him that I wasn’t going straight to my house, I’m going to work.
I drove to Poker Face Strip Club. Now that I’m no longer a stripper, I feel no pressure. I don’t
rely on tips or ballers anymore, thanks God!
When I entered the club, the manager told me that King Pin wants to have a word with me in his
office. I went to his office, he looked pissed off.
“Hey King Pin”, I greeted with a smile, I was trying to break the barrier.
“You’re late for work”, he said with a straight face.
“I know and I’m sorry”
“Sorry won’t fix anything. You’re not sorry, look at you”
“But I am though”
“Where were you? I hope you were getting some information on Raymond”
“I was with Antonio”
“And Raymond? How far are you?”
“Uhm…I’m still working on that”
“What have you found so far?”
“Uhm…I’m still working on that”
“Then work fast, what’s wrong with you? I trust you to get the job done”
“I will…just, chill”
“Leave my office and do your job”
If only King Pin knew I haven’t started with the Raymond operation. I’m too busy with my love
Antonio, he’s such a great man.
Work pays at the end of the day. Work hard, play hard!
**********
Antonio spent the night at my new house and I was really happy because that house is too big
for just one person. Antonio left early in the morning. I took a quick shower and I quickly went to
visit Mbali, I know she doesn’t have any classes.
I drove to Mbali’s flat, I knocked a couple of times before she opened the door. The flat looked
like she had a party last night, it looked untidy. I couldn’t believe a neat freak like her would let
something like this happen. Suddenly I heard a man’s voice saying, “Mbali who is that?”. I
looked at Mbali, I think I made her shy. The man came out of her room, why am I not surprised
it’s Rashidi. He was shirtless, had his socks and boxers on.

“Oh, it’s you?” he said.

“I came to visit you. I really miss you”, I told Mbali.
“I miss you too”, she said.
“Let me grab my clothes”, said Rashidi. “How’s your new house? Antonio is a really sweet guy”,
said Mbali.
Her bedroom door wasn’t shut, I could see Rashidi putting on his clothes.
“It’s rare to find a man who can buy you a house and a car”, I said.
“You’re a lucky girl”, said Mbali.
“Don’t worry, there’s probably a man out there who’s willing to do that for you too”, I said.
Rashidi gave me a cold stare. I said that just to get at him.
“I really don’t know about that”, said Mbali.
Rashidi got out of the room, he kissed Mbali, as he was kissing her our eyes met. He looked
like he was trying to make me jealous, he’s so childish. He left the flat.

“I want to ask you something”, I said.

“Yes?”
“I would like to ask if you would like to stay with me?”
“What? What about Antonio?”
“We don’t live together. The house is too big for me. I want to be with someone”
“Move in with Antonio”
“Antonio has his own house. I want to stay with you”
“Nosipho?”
“Please Mbali. If I annoy you, you can move out”
“Don’t be silly! You never annoy me”
“Please? Please?”
“Okay”
“Really? Oh my word. Thank you Mbali. You can move in today”
“Today?”
“Yes. Oh, wait…maybe tomorrow because I have to be somewhere tonight”
“Alright”
“Thank you. Now I can go to work in peace”
“You’re leaving already?”
“Yes, King Pin is going to kill me if I’m late again”
“King Pin? I still can’t get over that name. Sounds like a struggling rapper’s name”
“Mbali! You’re so naughty”
“I stole that one from Kwame”
“Kwame isn’t well. See you soon darling”
“Bye”
“Bye”

I left for work.

**********
I was at work, the two strippers that I recruited from Raymond’s club already started their shifts
at Poker Face Stripper Club. I must say, I’m doing a great job as a stripper recruiter. I haven’t
really planned any events so I wouldn’t say the same for event planning.

After work, I drove home and I dressed up for the double date. Antonio came and we drove in
his car.
When we got to his restaurant we waited for Martin and Foxy. I haven’t talked to Foxy in a
while.

Martin and Foxy finally arrived.

“Tony!” exclaimed Martin.
We all exchanged hugs. I’ve never been to a double date.
“What’s up man?” Martin asked Antonio.
“Nothing man. I’m good, how are you?” asked Antonio.
“I’m alright”, replied Martin.
“I hope the lady is treating you well”, said Antonio referring to Foxy.
“Yeah, she’s treating me well. I hope Nosipho is treating you well too”, said Martin.
“She’s giving me a hard time”, said Antonio jokingly.
“I’ve got one word for you my friend, RUN!” said Martin jokingly.
“That’s actually a great idea”, said Antonio. We all laughed. “Nosipho is treating me very well”,
added Antonio.

We all ordered, ate and conversed. We laughed our asses off, I’m sure people thought we were
crazy.
I had an amazing time. Tomorrow Mbali is moving in, I can’t wait.

Part 10: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

In the morning, I took a quick shower and I went to fetch Mbali. I didn’t tell her I was coming.
When I got to her flat, I knocked a couple of times but she didn’t answer me. I thought maybe
she was sleeping, I tried calling her but her phone was on voicemail. I shouted her name and
still no response. I just waited for a few minutes, I heard her unlocking the door. The door
opened, I thought it was Mbali but it was just her boyfriend Rashidi. He was wearing his boxers
and socks, he was shirtless. He opened the door but he didn’t open the gate.
“Can I help you?” he asked.
“Good morning, Rashidi. And yes I’m fine, thank you for asking”, I said mockingly.
“Mbali is asleep”, he said.
“Wake her up”, I said.
“It’s rude to wake someone up for a stupid reason”
“Stupid reason? Do you read minds now? Wake Mbali up”
“Your sugar daddy bought you a house and a car, go live your luxurious life and stop bugging
Mbali. You’re a bad influence to her, she’s a clever girl who’s doing great at school, don’t mess
things up for her. She’s studying towards a degree, she wants to be successful and work hard to
get whatever she wants. You’re an opportunist and an uneducated rural girl, you go around
claiming you’re a woman just because you sleep around with older men. You’re just a girl. Go
back to school and just go home”
What Rashidi said really hurt my feelings, I just felt like punching him or shooting him in the
head. I just told myself to remain calm and show no reaction, I didn’t want to satisfy him.
“Rashidi? Look who’s talking. You’re a vulture, you’re Raymond’s tail. You’re nothing without
Raymond. I see being the new manager at Raymond’s club really grew you some horns. You’re
a bitter boy, you think you can get over your feelings for me by bashing me? You’re afraid that
Mbali will see greener grass at the other side, huh? You’re the most insecure guy I’ve ever met.
Mr Nice Guy, you’re not as innocent as you present yourself to be. Does Raymond know that
you’re messing around with Linda? I bet not”, I said angrily.
“I’m not messing around with Linda”, he denied.
“Stop lying!” I shouted.
“Why are you so sure? You don’t have proof”
“I will…soon”
I just got into my car and left. I was so angry! Rashidi doesn’t know who he is dealing with. I
decided to surprise visit Foxy. The double date last night made me remember our good old
days. I drove to her flat.
It’s been a long while since I visited her. The gate was locked but her door was wide open. I
knocked on the door, I could hear her laughing out loud. Seems like she had a visitor. She came
to answer the door, I could see she was shocked to see me.
“Hey”, I greeted her.
“Hey doll, come in”, she said opening the gate.
I came in and I went to the sitting area, I was surprised to see Linda there. Am I dreaming?
What the hell is she doing here?
“What are you doing here?” I asked her.
“That’s not a good way to greet an old friend”, she said.
“Linda just came to visit me”, said Foxy.
I thought they hated each others guts.
“But you guys hate each other”, I said.
“Our men work together and we’ll be stupid to carry this useless feud”, said Linda.
“Yeah, it’s all in the past now and we’re concentrating on the future”, said Foxy.
I still haven’t forgiven Linda and I don’t want to ever be her friend again.
“I heard your man bought you a new house and car”, said Linda trying to be friendly. “I also
heard you quit pole dancing and you’re recruiting strippers and planning events”, she added.

“Yeah”, I replied in a low tone.

“Can I get you anything to drink?” asked Foxy.
“Water please”, I replied.
Foxy went to the kitchen. I think she saw how weird things were and that was her escape.
“How many times must I apologise for what we did to you?” asked Linda.
“I don’t need your apology, Linda”, I said.
“But I want to apologise”
“Your apology will fall on deaf ears”
“What’s wrong with you? I’m being sincere”
“Nothing’s wrong. I don’t expect you to be sincere”
 “I want to make things right. I don’t want to be involved in useless beefs. That’s too high school
for me”
“Do they drug people in high school? I didn’t know that”
“What do you want me to do Nosipho?”
“Nothing”
“Why are you so stubborn? Why can’t you move on? You have a good life now, I’m sure you
don’t want to hold any grudges”
“I’d be stupid to forgive and forget what you and your man did to me”
“Ok. Stand on top of the mountain and tell the world what we done to you. If that would make
you better”
“Don’t mock me”
“I’m not Nosipho! I don’t know what you want from us”
“I want nothing”
“I know you probably have something planned for me and Raymond. Maybe you want us to pay
but it’s not worth it. This is your chance to be the bigger person. I want to fix our friendship”
“You’re not my friend and will never be my friend Linda. You messed that up”
“Yes, I messed up. Let me fix this, please”
“How? Are you going to buy a time machine and reverse time and fix everything?”
“You remind me of a sister I once had Nosipho – ”
“Stop talking”
“I lost my family. I only have Raymond, my son, Gogo and…you”
“Stop talking. I don’t want to hear your lame talk”
“Nosipho, please”
“Foxy I’m leaving now, never mind the water”
“Stephen misses you Nosipho”
“Shut up Linda! You’re a fake bitch. You don’t love Raymond, you’re making things between
you and Foxy because Raymond told you to do that. You’re a fake bitch. The only person you
have is Stephen, it’s a pity he’s too young to even have your back. Give him a few years to
mature. You’re nothing but Raymond’s trophy. Get off the trophy cabinet, bitch”
Foxy was really shocked, her eyes were popping out of her eye socket, her mouth was open. I
left. I know Linda is just fake, she didn’t even defend herself because she knows she’s a fake
bitch.
I drove to work. On my way to work I got a phone call from King Pin, he was furious.
Eish…
**********
I ran inside Poker Face Strip Club. The manager told me that King Pin wants to see me and it’s
urgent. I knew I was in deep trouble.

I walked into King Pin’s office, he told me to close the door. I knew something was up.
“You’re late again”, he said. This time he was shouting, he was rather chilled. For a minute I
thought he was high.
“I know and I’m sorry”, I said.
“I see you have everything you ever wanted and your job doesn’t matter anymore. You have a
wealthy boyfriend, a brand new house and car. Life must be good”, he said.
“I don’t rely on my boyfriend for everything. I take this job really serious”
“If you weren’t Nosipho Ndamase then you wouldn’t be sitting here. I would’ve fired you”
“I’m glad you didn’t”
“I can’t let you go. No, you’re on a mission and I’m part of that too. It would be stupid of me to
let you go. Wouldn’t it?”
“I guess so”
“Found any dirt on Raymond? Any information or document?”
“I’m still working on it”
“Nosipho, I don’t think you heard me right. Have you found any dirt on Raymond? Any
information or document?”
“No”
“What is this? Mission impossible?”
“I’m working on it”
“How? Tell me Nosipho how are you working on it?”
“I’m doing things my way”
“And your way being shopping, eating in fancy restaurants, going to the salon and driving
around in a lambo?”
“No, I’m trying”
“You made a promise to me. Keep it”
“I am”
“You’re too slow. I want to see something in two days”
“Two days?”
“You’ve been asleep for a while. Wake up”
“How am I going to get anything in two days when almost everyone who works at Club Phoenix
hates me?”
“Rule number one, befriend your enemies”
“It’s not as easy, you know”
“If you know what you’re doing it’s easy. Or are you an amateur?”
“I’m not a professional but I will try”
“You’ve abandoned this mission. I’m slowly losing my patience”
“Don’t worry”

I went straight to work. I had to think of ways to get Raymond’s confidential documents.
I worked my butt off. When my shift ended, I decided to drive to Mbali’s flat. Luckily annoying
Rashidi wasn’t there.
“Packed yet?” I asked her.
“Yes, I thought you were not coming”, she said.
“I came earlier but you were sleeping”, I said.
“Strange. Rashidi didn’t tell me you came by”, she said.
“Are you fine?” I asked.
“I’m good”, she replied.
“Ok. Let me help you with the suitcases”, I said.
I dragged the suitcases to my car and we drove to my home.

As we were driving to my house, Mbali kept talking about the beautiful houses and how she’s
excited to see my house.
When we got to my house, I saw her jars dropping. She couldn’t believe she was going to live in
this big beautiful house.
“It’s huge, no wonder you didn’t want to stay alone”, she said.
That night we ordered takeaways.
**********
I’m just glad that Mbali is staying with me, I really enjoy her company. It’s better to live with
someone then no one, this house was too big for me.
Mbali went for her classes and I was left alone. I didn’t feel like going to work, King Pin is
already putting too much pressure on me regarding this Raymond thing.
King Pin sent me an SMS saying, “Need your help with something. Plz hurry”. I quickly drove to
the club.

I hope this wasn’t a silly joke. I went to his office.

“Close the door”, he said.
“That SMS sounded urgent”, I said.
“It is. I need your help Nosipho”, he said.
“What can I do for you?” I asked.
“I need you to deliver a package for me”, he said.
“King Pin, I don’t want to be the delivery girl again”
“Just this once, please. You delivered for Raymond”
“That was in the past, plus I didn’t know I was delivering drugs”
“Huh?”
“It’s a long story”
“Please, please, please”
“King pin you’re bringing me back now”
“Tell me how much Raymond payed you, I will triple it”
“Please, I don’t want – ”
“I’ve never begged someone like this. If any of my close friends walked in, I would lose my
street credibility”
“Just this once?”
“Yes”
“Okay”
“Thank you Nosipho. Can we agree on one thing?”
“Uhm…yeah?”
“Antonio must not know about this”
“I can keep a secret”
“Alright. I’ll pay you after the job”
“Okay”
“Here’s the package. Deliver it this afternoon”
“Alright”

There’s not much to do at work. We have lots of strippers and there’s no more recruiting I can
make. I just play cards on my computer.
Finally I went to deliver the package. The address was written there. The venue was
somewhere in Hillbrow.
**********
As I was driving to this place, I saw Raymond’s car parked next to a tree. He was inside his car,
talking to some girl. I didn’t see the girl properly but that wasn’t Linda. I slowed my car, I parked
in a parking lot full of cars. The girl came out of the his car, she was pregnant. I drove away. I
didn’t know what to make of it.
I drove to this place. It was a big house. I pressed the intercom and stated why I was there. The
gate opened. A security showed me inside the house.
There were many girls. I asked a few girls where Mr X’s office was and they directed me.
Mr X’s office was open, he was sitting on his chair which was facing away. I could only see his
back.
“Mr X? I have a delivery for you”, I said. He turned, and oh my goodness, I was surprised.
“Rashidi? What are you doing here?” I asked, I was surprised.
“What are you doing here?” He asked.
“I came to deliver this. What are you doing here?” I asked him again.
“I came to visit a friend”, he said.
“Where’s Mr X?”
“You can drop the package here, I’ll tell him – ”
“I can’t do that. I need to speak to Mr X”
“He’s out”
“The girls told me that he’s here”
“He’s out. Drop the package and leave”
“I’m afraid I can’t. I’ll come back tomorrow”
Rashidi quickly stood up and went to close the door.
“You don’t want any problem, right? Drop the package”, he said with a nasty look on his face.
“No!”
“Stop being fucking stupid!”
“Rashidi, let me first call King Pin”
“Don’t call him. Why can’t you listen to me? Drop the package and leave, is it that difficult?”
“I don’t trust you Rashidi”

A girl called out, “Mr X, there’s someone here for you”.

I was confused.
“Mr X? Rashidi? Are you Mr X?” I asked him.
“I have a guest”, he said trying his best to avoid answering my question.

The guest entered his office. How surprising can this be?
“Hey Nosipho, how are you?” asked Martin.
“I’m fine thanks, and you?”
“I’m great. Say hi to Antonio for me”
“I will”
“The atmosphere is tensed here, can I give you guys some time?” He asked.
“No, Nosipho was about to drop the package and leave”, said Rashidi.

I didn’t know what to say, I dropped the package and left.

When I was just entering my car, Rashidi came rushing towards me.
“I know I’m the last asshole you want to have a heart to heart with, but I need to talk to you. Can
we meet at our favorite restaurant?” Asked Rashidi. “Why would I say yes?” I asked.
“Out of curiosity. I know you’re curious about what just happened there. At least give me the
chance to tell you what’s going on”, he said.
“Why can’t you just tell me right now?”
“I can’t”
“You’ve been nothing but rude to me Rashidi. I don’t give a shit about what you have to say. I
don’t know what you’re up to, why would you order a package from King Pin? Are you ordering
it for Raymond?”
 “If you want to know my side of the story, meet me at that restaurant. Please don’t tell King Pin,
I beg you, please”
“I won’t tell him. Okay, I’ll meet you there – tomorrow morning, at ten?”
“Sounds good to me”
“Whatever”
“Thank you”
“Don’t thank me”

I drove away. I can’t believe what just happened. Am I dreaming? I went straight home, I gave
King Pin a call and he was very happy that the package was safely delivered.
Mbali was watching tv and I joined her.
**********
The following day, I was looking forward to meeting Rashidi and hearing what he has to say. I
called King Pin and told him that I can’t come to work, he understood. I think if I didn’t deliver
that package, he wouldn’t be so okay about me taking a day off considering that I’m not even
sick.

I went to that restaurant and I found Rashidi waiting for me.

“Hey, thanks for coming”, he said.
“I had no choice”, I said.
“You caught me by surprise yesterday. I didn’t know King Pin was sending you to deliver the
package. I – ”
“Rashidi, just cut to the chase. Are you Mr X? And what is going on between you and Martin?”
“Martin is a friend of mine and we like to chill together – ”
“Are you Mr X?”
“Stop cutting me off, do you want me to tell you this or not?”
“You’re going around in circles. Just tell me what’s going on”
“I ordered the package for someone. I can’t tell you who though”
“What’s the point of me being here if you won’t tell me everything?”
“I can’t tell you everything Nosipho. I don’t want to screw this shit up”
“You haven’t answered me, are you Mr X? Yes or no?”
“I am – ”
“Wow”
“But everything you saw there, isn’t what you think”
“What are you talking about?”
“The girls”
“What’s up with the girls?”
“They’re just filling up the place, they’re uhm…working for someone. They’re only 8 but they
give me a headache”
“Who’s this someone?”
“Someone I work with, I don’t want to name this person”
“Still doesn’t make sense. Are you selling drugs?”
“No. I told you I’m working for someone. Look, the house and the girls belong to this person”
“How did you meet this person?”
“Through Martin. I just wanted the money, that’s all. I’m clean, I’m clean”
“Why call yourself Mr X?”
“I can’t use my name. How many Rashidis are there in this area? I think Mr X is more
mysterious and I don’t know, cool maybe?”
“I still don’t understand this. Does Raymond know about this?”
“Uh…I…I don’t think so”
“Is that a no?”
“Yes”
“Obviously King Pin doesn’t know about this as well”
“He knows the guy because they’ve met a few times. This guy is his new customer”
“Where does this guy live?”
“In that house”
“Oh”
“I hope you understand now”
“A bit”
“How’s Mbali?”
“She’s alright. She doesn’t deserve going through that crap with you”
“I care about her”
“No, sleeping with her doesn’t mean you care about her”
“It has nothing to do with that. I kinda like her”
“You’re using her”
“I’m not. I care about that girl”
“Oh?”
“I do, I know you don’t want me to be with her. You can take her to live with you but you can’t
take her away from me”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. You know Nosipho what’s funny? A few months ago I was chasing you. I was madly,
insanely in love with you. If anyone told me that things would end up like this, I would’ve said
they were crazy. Now, we hate each other’s guts. I wouldn’t call it hate but we really don’t like
each other”
“Things change”
“Sometimes we think things change but we as people change. I think you’ve changed a lot”
“I’m still the same girl”
“No you’re not. You let money get into your head”
“I’m not even rich, what are you talking about?”
“You know what I’m talking about”
“I haven’t changed, you just never knew me”
I stood up.
“Look, thanks for explaining. I need to go”, I said.
“Maybe I never really knew you”, said Rashidi looking deep into my eyes.

I left. I drove to Antonio’s house.

Part 11: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

Antonio was watering his plants. He smiled when he saw me, he dropped the hose pipe.
“Hey baby. What a pleasant surprise”, he said kissing me.
“I’ve missed you”, I said.
“Missed you too. Let’s go inside”, he said.
We went inside the house.
“Babe, can I get you anything?” He asked.
“No thanks”, I replied.
“What have you been getting up to?”
“Work, work and more work”
“Is Mbali comfortable in her new home?”
“Yes, she loves her new home”
“I’m glad”
“I was thinking of doing a mini party on Saturday just to celebrate my new house”
“I think that’s a great idea babe”
“You can invite a few of your friends”
“I will”

I had a long chat with Antonio. He is a very smart guy, he really motivated me a lot. I got an
SMS from Foxy, she wanted us to meet in Antonio’s restaurant. I left Antonio’s house
immediately.
My friendship with Foxy isn’t the same as before.
I couldn’t wait to see Foxy and ask her how things are going her side.
**********
When I got to Antonio’s restaurant, Foxy hasn’t arrived yet. I waited for her. Maybe twenty or so
minutes later, she arrived.

“Hello my friend”, she greeted me.

“Hi friend”, I greeted back.
“How are you, friend?” She asked.
“I’m okay, and you?”
“I’m not fine”
“What’s wrong Foxy?”
“Rashidi is making some changes in the club and he changed my shifts. I’m working for two
days only”
“But you worked for five days”
“Exactly. I’ve been working there for years, I’ve never worked for two days even as a rookie”
“You are like one of the best strippers”
“Rashidi is bringing some pathetic changes to the club”
“What does Raymond say about that?”
“Nothing. I don’t understand why Rashidi would put up a girl who’s not flexible in a five day
shift. That girl is stiff, she’s just beautiful. She has no personality, she’s just flat”
“I don’t know what to say”
“Do you enjoy poaching my colleagues?”
“I’m just giving them better”
“Better?”
“Did you know that strippers who work at that club pay thrice the amount Raymond pays you
guys?”
“Such lies?!”
“I’m telling you the truth. I’m recruit strippers – ”
“Is that what you call poaching?”
“You can call it whatever but I’m helping the poor kids”
“Anyway, how are things going between you and Tony?”
“Things are great, he’s such a nice guy”
“He’s a good man”
“Have you ever met Mbali?”
“Mbali? I don’t think so”
“She’s a university student, she lives with me and she’s my good friend”
“Oh, I would like to meet her some day”
“And she’s dating Rashidi”
“Maybe not”
“She’s actually a cool girl. By the way, I’m having a party at my place. I think Antonio is going to
invite Martin anyway. You guys can come together, that’s if you don’t have plans”
“When is the party?”
“In the evening, at six”
“Uhm…Ok, but I won’t stay long because I have my shift at eight”
“No problem”
“Is Linda invited?”
“She’s not my friend”
“You can’t act like you don’t know her”
“You used to hate her with a passion, don’t make yourself look better”
“We resolved our issues. I think after what happened between the both of you, she changed.
She’s nicer now”
“She’s fake”
“She deserves a second chance but I won’t force you to be friends with her”
“Friendship happens effortlessly Foxy. If you force friendship then it’s not as real as friendship
that happened without trying too hard”
“I think you should deal with your issues”
“I’m not crazy Foxy”
“I didn’t say you were. You are just not that same girl I met months ago”
“Why is everyone telling me this? Are you the same Foxy you were a year ago? No!”
“There’s changing for the better and changing for the worse. I think you changed for the worse,
no offence”
“What are you trying to say?”
“Nothing. I don’t want to be on your bad side”
“I’m not a monster. If you’ve been through what I’ve been through, you would understand me
better”
“True”
“So…can we change the subject now?”

I didn’t know the meeting with Foxy would turn out so dull, I was expecting more.
I went to my house.
**********
Two days later.
It was Saturday and finally my house party. I spent the last two days shopping for decorations
and I’ve hired caterers. I also hired a DJ for my house party, it’s going to be fun.
By the way, King Pin gave me a lecture about that Raymond thing. I’m really not putting much
effort, not intentionally though. Anyway, my party was in session.
Antonio invited Raymond, and he came with Linda. Martin was with Foxy and Mbali invited
Rashidi. Antonio’s other friends were there, I invited a few people from the club.
The DJ was playing some good music, people were really enjoying their themselves. I didn’t
want Raymond nor Linda there but Raymond is Antonio’s friend. Foxy and Linda were all giggly,
it was annoying. I didn’t want to pay attention to Linda and Raymond, I just started drinking.

Antonio saw that I was drinking too much, he grabbed me aside.

“Babe, slow down on the alcohol”, he said.
“It’s my party, I want to have fun”, I said.
“I know babe, but slow down”, he said.
I took his advice and slowed down.

Mbali was dancing like a crazy woman, it’s good to see she’s having fun. I went inside to have a
glass of water. When I was in the kitchen, I felt someone’s hand touching my shoulder. I turned,
and it was Martin.
“Hey Martin. You want a glass of water?” I asked.
“No”, he replied.
“Ok”
“I have a gift for you Nosipho”
“A gift for me?”
“Yes…here”
Martin gave me a box.
“Open it”, he said.
I opened the box and it was a beautiful silver necklace.
“It’s beautiful but I can’t accept it”, I said.
“Why not? When I saw it I thought of”, he said.
Cheesy.
“I can’t, I mean, what will Foxy say?” I asked.
“She will understand”, he said.
“It’s really beautiful”
“Just like you”
“Why are you doing this?”
“You are my friend’s girl. And my friend”
“Your friends’ girls are lucky”
“They are. Let me help you wear it”
“Right now?”
“If you want”
“Uh- not really but thank you for the gift”
“You’re welcome”
“Let’s go back to the party”

It was so thoughtful of Martin. We went back to the party, people were really enjoying
themselves. Raymond went to dance next to me.
“Your house is beautiful”, he said.
“I know”, I said.
“You have a lot going on for yourself, I’m glad”, he said with a smile.
“Are you surprised?” I asked.
“I knew you were going to end well”, he said.
“When did you know? After or before you drugged me?”
“That happened months ago. Can’t you put that behind you?”
“Everytime I try, I always see you and your useless girlfriend”
“Can we talk in private?”
“Make it quick”

We went to the lounge.

“Look, I’ve screwed up and I’m really sorry. If I could reverse time, I would really change what
happened”, he said.
“But you can’t”, I said.
“I know and that’s what kills me”, he said.
“Lies”
“Nosi, please. Why can’t you accept our apology?”
“I’m still hurt”
“You always say we’re going to pay. I’m afraid it’s no longer hurt but pure vengeance. I know
you want to make us pay for what we did but – ”
“You will pay for what you did to me Raymond”
“If you really wanted me to pay for what you did, why haven’t you done it yet?”
I was silent.
“You’re dating Antonio because he’s a great contributor to my club and given the chance, you
might convince him to cut all the ties he has with my business. You also work for King Pin, you
know that guy hates my gut after I cut him off. Isn’t that vengeance enough?”
“I love Antonio and I didn’t know I was working into King Pin’s club when I was looking for work”
“You love Antonio?”
“I love Antonio!”
“Few months ago, you loved me”
“He’s not like you, he’s a better man than you’ll ever be”
“I know, you might not confess but there’s a tiny bit of you that still likes me”
“I don’t like you”
“You don’t hate me either”
“Are you done?”
“No I’m not. Being angry at someone is like grasping onto hot coal with the intention of throwing
it at that person but you get hurt. Now I’m done”
He left.

Foxy left for her shift and few hours later the house party was over.
There’s so much cleaning to do.
**********
Mbali went for her shifts at Antonio’s restaurant.
I had a strange dream about my mother last night. She was carrying a gun in my dream. I was
driving my brother’s taxi, Foxy was sitting on the passenger’s seat. It was dark, just when my
brother’s taxi approached the robot lights, my mom pointed a gun at us. She was wearing her
church uniform, she pointed the gun at us and kept talking in tongues. I woke up.
The dream was strange.
I decided to rethink my plans. I don’t want to be involved with the likes of King Pin and Raymond
anymore. As much as I don’t like Raymond, I just want to end this drama. I want to start my life
over. I want to do a spring cleaning in my life.
I don’t want to get caught up in unnecessary drama. There’s so much I know but I won’t snitch. I
knew I had to tell King Pin that I’m stepping out.
I decided to drive to King Pin’s club. When I got there, King Pin wasn’t happy to see me.
“Hi King Pin”, I greeted him.
“Hey”, King Pin greeted back.
“I just came by because I have something important to discuss with you”, I said. My heart was
beating fast.
“You found anything on Raymond yet?” He asked.
“About that, no – ”
“No? Are you insane?”
“No! I’m pulling out!”
“Pulling out? Why would you do such a thing?”
“I can’t do it anymore”
“What’s wrong? You still have feelings for the guy?”
“No! I don’t want drama in my life”
“Drama will always follow you. You can’t pull out, you made a promise to me”
“It wasn’t a promise”
“Then what was it?”
“I was very angry back then! I wanted to get back at him but I don’t have strength anymore. It
happened months ago, I just want to forget it”
“I can’t believe you”
“I know you gave me the job because I told you I wanted to help you bring down Raymond but
you can take your job. I quit”
“No one plays King Pin like that. I gave you a job and in return you had to help me get some
important documents from Raymond’s office”
“Find someone else”
“Look, you’re not out of this as yet. When I have those documents, you’re out”
“I don’t want to”
“You have to”
“Or what?”
“Or you may regret it”
“What are you going to do?”
“You don’t want to know”
“King Pin, I can repay you every cent you payed me working in this place”
“I don’t want Antonio’s money, I want the documents”
“How can I access the documents? Raymond doesn’t keep confidential documents in his office”
“You will make a way”
“Why are you so hungry for these documents?”
“Greed”
“His house is secured, I can’t even try my luck there”
“You will have to befriend your enemies, come one Nosipho, I told you this long time ago”
“What’s written in these documents anyway?”
“Everything I need to know about that club”
“Like what?”
“Everything but the tender application will be a bonus. Raymond is the only club owner who has
that application, I would kill for that application”
“I can’t do it King Pin, in the beginning I thought I could but I’m an amateur, I’m clueless”
“Do you know what’s the easiest option?”
“What?”
“Your boyfriend is the biggest contributor in Raymond’s club and I’m sure he has all sorts of
documents and – ”
“No! I can’t steal from my boyfriend, not after everything he did to me”
“It’s not stealing, it’s bailing yourself out of this mess”
“I can’t”
“You’re so stubborn. You need to sort yourself out. It’s either breaking into Raymond’s house or
stealing from your boyfriend”

I don’t know what to do. I left King Pin’s office.

I will make a way.
**********
I laid on my bed, my face up, my eyes concentrating on the ceiling. I was thinking of my next
move. What must I do now? I want to move on with my life. I don’t want Raymond or Linda in
my life. I know I wanted to bring them down but now I don’t care anymore. I have a new man in
my life, a new car and a new house, I want to live a new life. For the first time in Johannesburg,
I miss my family. I don’t want to go yet, I still haven’t accomplished what I always wanted to do.
Yeah, I still want to be an actress although I’m showing no signs of giving a damn.

Mbali came back from her shift. I went to the lounge, she didn’t look happy.
“A colleague giving you hell?” I asked.
“No”, she replied.
“What’s up with the long face?” I asked.
“I’m just tired of this Italian woman always bugging me”, she said.
“Italian woman?”
“Antonio’s ex wife”
“That Bella lady? What does she want from you?”
“I don’t know. She always gives me hell, just because I’m your friend doesn’t mean I have
anything to do with Antonio. He’s just my boss”
“She’s a bitter old granny. Just ignore her”
“I can’t ignore her, it’s my job to cater for the customer, remember?”
“Don’t worry Mbali, I’ll let Antonio know”
“Please”
“I will”
“Anyway, I hope this evening’s date with Rashidi will cheer me up”
“What’s your deal with this man?”
“We’re dating, duh!”
“I know but do you really, really, really like him that much?”
“I really, really, really like him. Why are you asking me this? Am I being clingy or…?”
“No, no! You’re just alright. I was just asking. Sometimes Mr Nice Guys have a lot to hide, deep
inside they may not be nice guys”
“Rashidi is different”
“Oh?”
“Yep, ok, let me get ready for my date”

5 HOURS LATER
 Mbali was on her date, I decided to surprise my man, maybe cook him some dinner and…see
where the night leads us. I sent Mbali a text that I was at Antonio’s house just in case she
comes back earlier than me.
I told Antonio about Bella giving Mbali problems at work and he promised to ban her from ever
coming to the restaurant. I cooked him dinner, he hasn’t had homemade food in ages, he says.
These days I have to admit I eat takeaways, my mom would be angry. I can hear her voice
saying, “Ulivila”(lazy person).

The night is just young…

Part 12: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

I dished Antonio the food I cooked. Rice and beef stew, well, he loved my food. Luckily he had a
vanilla flavored ice cream, so that was our dessert.
After eating the delicious food I cooked, we had our own make out session.
I decided to pour Antonio’s favourite wine. Not for me but Antonio. I poured him, glass after
glass as we conversed. “You seem to be in a good mood. What did I do to deserve all of this?”
he asked taking a sip.
“Aren’t you my man?” I asked.
“I’m a lucky man. Go ahead, pour yourself some wine”, he said.
He was a bit tipsy.
“It’s fine, I’m driving anyway”, I said.
“Driving? You can spend the night here. Imagine what else we can get up to, just thinking about
it gives me a boner”, he said.
“Maybe next time I can sleep over”
“Babe, you can spend the night here. This is your house also”
“Next time”
“Babe come on”
“Maybe next time”
“Alright. May that next time be soon”
“It will. Let me fill you up babe”
“Are you trying to get me drunk or what? I’m a bit tipsy now. Yeah, fill my glass babe”
I filled up his glass.
“Let me go to the bathroom. My bladder is gonna blast”, said Antonio stumbling to the bathroom.
“Oh shit! I nearly fell”, he said.

When he was in the bathroom, I quickly went to his office. I checked his drawers, my heart was
pounding. Maybe I’ll find something in here, I checked but I couldn’t find anything. I heard the
bathroom door open, I quickly rushed to the lounge and acted like I was busy texting on my
phone.

“How about some music?” He asked reaching for the remote. He switched on his mp3 player.
I won’t lie, the music was crap.
“My favorite Italian contemporary jazz artist”, he said dancing like he lost his leg.
“Dance baby! Dance baby! Dance baby!” I cheered him on.
My phone rang, it was Mbali. She arrived and she wanted the keys, I told her to ask Rashidi to
drive her to Antonio’s house. I gave her the directions.

“Come join me baby”, said Antonio. He pulled me.

“Alright”, I said.
We danced. I wasn’t in the mood to dance, he was drunk. His face was red, white people are
weird when they’re drunk.
“Let’s go to my room. Maybe you can give me dance on my, you know what”, he whispered in
my ear.
“We can dance here”, I said.
“Why are you here then? You don’t want to spend the night here and you don’t want to have sex
with me”, he nagged.
“Just chill babe”, I said trying to calm him down.
He was angry but yet again he was drunk.
“Do you have a problem with making love to your man?” He asked.
“No I don’t. You’re drunk”, I said.
“I’m not even that drunk”
“Ok, you’re sober”
“Babe, let’s go have some fun on my bed”
“You need to sleep”
“I’m not sleeping”
Antonio is giving me hell. He had too much to drink, well that’s my fault and well, my purpose.

“Let me give you a sexy massage babe”, I said. I know by the time I’m done massaging him,
he’ll be sleeping. We went to his bedroom. I took his shirt off, he was too drunk to do that by
himself.

He laid on his stomach, I began massaging his back. I heard a car horn, might be Mbali.
“I’ll be right back”, I told Antonio. He was mumbling, I think I kinda waked him up.

I reached for my house keys in my handbag. I went outside, I gave Mbali the house keys.
“Are you spending the night here?” Asked Mbali.
“Uhm – I don’t think so, no. I’ll arrive later, I don’t know when but I’ll sleep in my house tonight”, I
said.
“Alright. Go do your thing girl”, said Mbali.
I went inside.
I hope Antonio is asleep. I just want to get this over and done.
**********
As I was approaching his bedroom, I heard him snoring. He was loud, sounded like there was a
construction site nearby. I entered his bedroom just to make sure that he was sleeping. He was
asleep, finally I went confidently into his office.
I searched the office, I opened his cabinets. I still couldn’t find anything. I remember walking to
this office for the first time, I saw his confidential files. I sat on his chair and I looked around.
Where will Antonio put his confidential files? I was thinking hard, I was looking at his cabinets. I
asked myself, what’s wrong with these cabinets? I stood up. I pushed the drawers back and
suddenly the cabinet opened. I always saw this in the movies, the cabinet opened itself. There
was a fake brick wall. It had handles, so I pulled the handles and I saw multiple files.
I tippy toed outside Antonio’s office just to check if he was still asleep, he was. I quickly went in
his office and I browsed through the files. There were many files, I didn’t know what I was
looking for. Other files were written in Italian, which I don’t understand. I saw an application, it
was a tender application. It was worth millions of rands, I saw multiple tender applications. I took
one application and I quickly placed everything in the drawer.
I left his office, I took my handbag and I placed the application in my car storage. I closed his
door and I left immediately.
I drove to King Pin’s club.
I just want to get this shit done…
**********
The time was like 12am. I arrived in the club, I went straight to King Pin’s office. His door was
closed, I knew he was talking with someone. I decided to wait. He was taking some time, I was
getting a bit irritated now and so impatient.
I thought to myself, maybe no one was inside. I went to ask the manager if King Pin was in his
office and he said yes.
“King Pin is in the office with some girl”, he said.
“Does the girl work here?” I asked.
“No. She looks familiar though, I don’t know where I know her from”, he said.
“How long have this girl been there?” I asked.
“For over an hour or so, I don’t know”
“Ok, thanks”

I went to my office, well, I did quit my job. It’s not really my office but I went to wait there.
After a few minutes, I heard people coming to my office. I heard a girl saying, “I can’t wait to
start working”. I stood up and King Pin entered with Foxy. I was shocked.
“Foxy? What are you doing here?” I asked.
She didn’t answer me.
“Foxy will take over your position as of tomorrow”, said King Pin.
“Wow. You really couldn’t wait for me to leave”, I said.
“I decided to quit, didn’t you? Or are you having second thoughts?” He asked.
“Of course not”, I said.
“What are you doing here?” He asked.
“I can give you guys some time to sort whatever you have going on”, said Foxy.
“You can stay, King Pin I have to talk to you privately in your office”, I said.

We left my old office and went to King Pin’s office.

“What’s up? Don’t tell me you want your old job back”, he said.
“No. I have something for you”, I said.
“Ok?”
“I told you I don’t want anything to do with this Raymond thing. It’s getting tiring and old, I want
to be free – ”
“We had a deal, I don’t like people whose bark is worse than their bite”
“Don’t worry, I did stick to my word”
King Pin cracked a smile.
“This might not be bringing Raymond down, but it is any business man’s dream”, I said handing
him the application.
He took the application, his smile disappeared. He decided to read the application. I was so
nervous, I was anxiously waiting for him to say something. As he was reading, he kept widening
his eyes. I don’t know if that’s a good or bad sign.
“This isn’t bringing Raymond down, yes. For the past two years, ever since I heard about these
tender applications. I always wanted to get my hands on these. I know a few trustworthy people
that would be happy to help me win this bid. I mean lawyers, there’s this lawyer, he’s really good
and he’s my friend. He always wins these bids. You know why? Because he works for a
company that’s linked to the one that gives out these. These are really scarce and when they’re
out, everyone wants them. It’s hard to get these, some scumbag lawyers once offered to help
me get one of these. I paid him R100 000 in the first week but it was too low, as he said. I paid
him another R100 000, maybe he’ll convince them I told myself but he came back the next week
with another story. He told me that his friend who works in that company had many requests for
the same applications and many people paid him more and so I had to pay more. If you have
been following this story, I paid this lawyer R200 000 already. For the third time, I paid him R300
000, now that’s R500 000. He still came back with another story. This time I was fed up, I told
him to give me back all of my money because he failed his job. He told me stories, I found out
from the guy who’s gonna help me with this bid that he was spending my money. Since the fool
worked in that company, he already had the applications. He fooled me, I thought he was trying
to get me those applications from a colleague. Thinking about it now, it’s really funny. I hope he
was around to laugh at that shit with me, we would have some whiskey, smoke cigars and play
jazz in the background as we laugh at that shit together”, King Pin narrated.
“Where is he now?” I asked.
“Dead”, he replied.
“Shame. What happened?” I asked.
“Nobody messes with me and gets away with it”, he said.
My heart started beating fast.
“I’ve been too nice to you”, he said.
“I never did anything wrong”, I said.
“Many times, but I always ignore”
“I’ve been good to you”
“Do you want me to tell you another story?”
“Uh- no, it’s really late. I have to go”
“Come on. Take a seat”
“I really have to go”
“Please?”
“I won’t be long”
“Thank you”
I sat on the chair, King Pin was walking up and down.

“You taught me a lot of things, I don’t know if you know that. I’m not that “please” or “thank you”
kind of man but you’ve made me say those things. It’s weird. Anyway, I have to tell you this
crazy story. Years ago, a guy from Durban came to Jozi for work. I took this guy under my
wings, I taught him everything he needed to know about these streets. After I molded him, he
decided to work for a rich Italian guy. The Italian guy was a mob and his family was one of the
most respected mob families in Italy. I felt betrayed and I told myself, he’s coming back to me. I
was right, he came back to me because he wasn’t treated right by this Italian guy. I couldn’t
accept him, I told him if he wants me to trust him again, he should spy on the Italian guy for me.
He did that. He spied and he also got ahold of some information for me. He earned my trust but
I there was a huge part of me that didn’t trust him. I had to go sort out some people and he was
with me. He was the only one that saw me sort out these people, by sort out I mean shoot.
When we got back from the shooting, he acted different. I didn’t like the way he was acting, the
kid wasn’t a good liar, I knew if he was ever cornered by the police he would tell everything. I
also hope he was still around so we can chat about the past and just laugh at our little stupid
conflicts”, said King Pin.
“Why did you kill him?” I asked.
“Because he will keep the secret”, he said.
“And the lawyer that’s going to represent you on this bid, are you going to kill him?” I asked.
“No”, he replied.
“Oh…ok…I think I’ll leave now, your stories are really interesting”, I said.
“No, sit down. I can pour you something to drink. I have more stories to tell or are you getting
bored?”
“No, of course not. Your stories are…interesting”
“Can I pour you something to drink?”
“No thanks”
“Alright. Remember when I first saw you? I laugh everytime I think about it. Do you also
remember the restaurant incident? Too funny, don’t you think?”
“Very funny”
“Look what you’ve missed. All of this, this and this. Now you ended up with an old man. Tell
me, how many tablets of viagra does he use to satisfy such a beautiful woman?”
“He’s not that old. What is viagra?”
“Viagra helps old men with their erectile dysfunction”
“No, he doesn’t take those tablets. He’s not that old”
“He’s your sugar daddy”
“Antonio isn’t my sugar daddy”
“If you’re saying he’s not your sugar daddy, you’re in denial. Which guy would buy a house and
a car for a girl they met a few weeks?”
“He loves me”
“Do you love him?”
“Of course!”
“If I were you, I would ask myself, why did he buy me a house and a car – ”
“It’s because he loves me”
“You’re a beautiful girl Nosipho, any man would be hypnotised by your beautiful. We both know
why things have been too easy for you. I have to admit, I was lying to myself. After the
restaurant incident, I was like, fuck that girl. Whatever. But ever since you worked here, I kinda
felt this feeling again. I’m not romantically feeling you, I never was. I’m just sexually attracted to
you, I just wanna fuck and leave”
“You haven’t told me if you accept that application or not”
“Haven’t you been listening to what I said”
” I have but – ”
“What did I say?”
“You said a lot”
“Like what?”
“Obviously you don’t want people to backstab you”
“And?”
“And…you kill people?”
“Not just any people, sources”

I knew I had to get out of there fast.

“I’m sleepy, I have to go King Pin”, I said, I was so scared my voice was breaking.
“Chill for a while. I have a lot of stories to tell”, he said.
“I can’t”
“If you walk out that door, you’re in trouble”
“What do you want from me?”
“Bitch listen to everything I have to say. Go out of this office and go party with the rest of the
people, leave your phone. Don’t leave this club, if you leave without my permission. You will be
sorry you ever did that shit. Now, leave my office and go act jolly”
“Please don’t hurt me”
“Give me your phone”

I gave him my phone, I even left my handbag.

I said a little prayer to myself, I hope this psycho doesn’t harm me….
**********
The time was 2am. Foxy left a few minutes ago. I was so scared to even have a chat with
anyone. I saw King Pin leaving via the back door, he gave me a signal. I walked slowly to him.
We went outside, he asked for my car keys. I gave them to him, he told me to sit on the
passenger’s seat. He drove the car.
“Mbali called”, he said.
“What did she say?” I asked enthusiastically.
“I didn’t answer it, you better call her back and make up a crappy story”, he said giving me my
phone.
“What must I say?”
“I don’t know, do what you girls like to do, lie”
“Where are you taking me?”
“Stop asking me questions and give Mbali a call”

I phoned Mbali and I told her that I was renting a hotel. She was confused. I think she believed
me.

“Why are you doing this to me?” I asked King Pin.

“Doing what? I’m just driving you”, he said.
“Where are you driving me to? Why can’t you tell me?”
“We’re going to my house”
“For what?”
“For a good time, friend”
“Friends don’t do this to friends”
“Friends don’t drive their friends to their house for some bonding time? In which planet?”
“You should’ve told me from the beginning, I nearly pissed my panties”
“Don’t piss on yourself, I don’t want your pussy smelling like tuna. I like to go down there when I
do, you know, some kinky foreplay shit”
“Huh?”
“Don’t worry, it will be good”
“What?”
“I told you I’m sexually attracted to you. Don’t tell me you want King Pin to wish he could’ve”
“What happens after that?”
“You leave. No, you already lied to Mbali so maybe you can sleep over”

King Pin is just a pervert but I thought he was going to kill me. I just want to get things done. I
just have to do what I have to.
We got to King Pin’s house. He went to heat the jacuzzi water.
“First we have to go in there”, he said.
“I don’t usually go to the jacuzzi. It’s been a long time”, I said.
“This would be your most memorable”, he said. “You can undress in that room”, he added.

He was in his boxers and I was in my bra and panty. We went into the jacuzzi. He held my waist
and whispered, “So this is what Antonio is dealing with, huh?” He pulled me towards him and I
could feel his boner pressing my belly button. He lifted my chin and he began kissing me. His
warm tongue sliding inside my mouth. I closed my eyes. I could feel his hands grasping my butt,
squeezing my butt. I won’t lie, I was enjoying it.

We kissed a minutes, and minutes and minutes. He pulled away, he went out of the jacuzzi and
he helped me out. He was so strong. We kissed as we were standing besides the jacuzzi, he
told me to jump on him, I did. We went to his bedroom, I playfully threw me on his bed. He didn’t
care about his bed getting wet, he opened my legs. We began kissing, he was laying between
my legs. I could feel his boner. He began planting kisses on different parts of my face, he went
down to my tummy. He licked my tummy, I told me to sit up, I did exactly that. He took off my
bra and I laid on my back again.
My nipples were hard, he looked at me and smiled. He whispered, “You’re enjoying it, nipples
don’t lie”. He began licking and sucking my nipples. My whole body tingled. He planted kisses
on my chest, he went down…stomach…he went down…belly button…he went
down…there…he took off my panty. He began licking and doing whatever he was doing. I
moaned. He kept licking, I was breathing heavily. I grabbed the duvet tight, I shouted, “Shit!” He
stopped and went to the bathroom. I sat up and waited for him.
When he got back, he just went to open his wardrobe. I looked at him, I was confused, why isn’t
he doing what he just did?
“Hey! What’s up now? Are you gonna leave me hanging?” I asked.
“No, I came for this”, he said holding a baby oil bottle.
“And now?” I asked.
“Ever heard of a lube?” He asked.
“Lube? That’s a baby oil”
“You have a lot to learn, but you’ll see when I use it”

He placed the, “lube” next to the bed lamp. He resumed where he left. After that he took off his
boxers.
“Suck”, he said.
“Eeuw! No thanks”, I said.
“If I can lick your pussy, why can’t you suck my dick?”
“I’ve never done this before”
“You’ll learn. Just don’t bite, open your mouth”

I can’t believe I agreed to do that. I opened my mouth and he began stuffing his dick in my
mouth, I gagged.
Finally we had sex. I won’t lie, I enjoyed every second and minute. We used a condom, by the
way. I fell asleep shortly after having sex.
I feel like a dirty skunk…
*********
King Pin woke me up early in the morning. I had to lie to Mbali and tell her I was on my way.
“I don’t do those cheesy breakfast in bed and cuddling shit”, said King Pin.
“I don’t expect you to. Anyway, I have a man”, I said.
“Yesterday I made you forgot you had a man, remember? I don’t blame you though”
“That will never happen again King Pin”
“It was nice doing business with you. You are good in bed as you’re good looking. Don’t act like
you didn’t enjoy it, I made you scream”
“Whatever”
“You were screaming, “King Pin! King Pin! Oooh King Pin!” You loved every second of it”
“When are we leaving?”
“On a serious note, it was great doing business with you. Your pussy is good”
“This stays between us”
“I can keep a secret, don’t worry”
“I hope so”
“You don’t think I can keep a secret?”
“I didn’t say that”
“Where did I put the car keys?”
“I don’t know”
“Shit!”
“So…tell me, what’s up with you and Foxy?”
“You’ve only slept with me once and you’re jealous?”
“Really, what’s up?”
“She wanted a job”
“Weird”
“Huh?”
“Weird. It’s not so long ago I had a chat with her. She wasn’t happy about the changes the new
club owner did. She never showed any signs of being interested in leaving her old club. I was
shocked to see her there, it’s so sudden and weird. I don’t know why she would accept the job,
you’re not his boyfriend’s favorite person”
“A job is a job, I didn’t even think about Martin”
“Really? What are you up to this time around?”
“Nothing, can’t I recruit? Don’t tell me you’re judging me, you out of all people”
“I’m not judging you, I just know you’re up to something. I know you”
“You know me because we’re the same person?”
“Same person? Me and you? You got that wrong”
“You’re just a female version of King Pin but you’re more emotional and soft”
“I’m not soft”
“You’re not hard”
“I’m hardcore”
“If you were really hardcore, you would’ve got me Raymond’s documents. You’re soft, you let
your emotions control the situation”
“I’m not the only person in the world that’s like that”
“Yeah, you’re one of them. I think I remember where I hid the car keys”

King Pin opened his wardrobe and found the car keys. I did take a short shower, King Pin drove
to his club. He made his way inside the club and I drove to my house.
This is a ride or die world…

Part 13: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

As I was driving my car inside my yard, I saw Rashidi rushing to his car. I stopped the car and
came out of my car. I went straight to Rashidi’s car.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I asked furiously.

“Chill. It was too late to drive home, I decided to sleep over”, he said.
“This house isn’t a rendezvous house”, I said.
“It won’t happen again”, he said with an I-don’t-care looking face.
Mbali came out of the house.
“You’re home early”, she said.

Rashidi drove away. I drove my car in my garage and I went inside the house.
“Why did you sleep in the hotel?” asked Mbali.
“Because I can”, I said.
“You have money, hey? If I had money just like you, I would do the same too”, she said.
“I don’t have money”
“Doesn’t your boyfriend give you money?”
“I’m not a gold digger”
“Oh…I didn’t mean to rub you off the wrong way”
“It’s cool. I’m just tired”
“I’m also tired”
“Aren’t you going to school today?”
“I’m tired”
“Oh?”
“I’m going to sleep”

I gave Antonio a call just to hear if he was okay. I told him what he did when he was drunk and
he laughed. He couldn’t remember a thing, he told me that as promised he fixed the Bella issue.
Bella was officially banned from entering the restaurant. I was so happy to hear that, I know
Mbali will be relieved.
I tried calling Foxy but her phone was off, I just wanted to have a chat with her. Ok, I’m lying, I
just wanted to know what’s up with her and King Pin. She’s probably at work. I decided to
visit…Martin, he’s my boyfriend’s friend and my friend.
**********
I drove to Martin’s house.
I knocked for a while before he opened the door.

“Hey Nosipho, come in”, he said with a welcoming smile.

He led me to the lounge.
“It’s always great to see you, how are you?” he asked.
“I’m okay, I guess. How are you?” I asked.
“I’m doing fine. This is a nice surprise I won’t lie”
“I thought why not visit Martin? I’m in love with the necklace by the way”
“It’s good to hear. How’s work?”
“I no longer work at King Pin’s club”
“Oh? Where do you work now?”
“I don’t work anymore”
“What happened?”
“I was getting bored”
“I can imagine. Don’t worry, a better job is waiting for you out there”
“I don’t wanna work yet. I just wanna relax”
“Being alone in that big house sounds boring”
“I live with Mbali although she goes to her lectures during the day”
“Mbali?”
“She’s my friend”
“Beautiful name”
“She’s Rashidi’s girlfriend”
“Really? Alright. Can I get you anything?”
“Juice please”
“Alright, juice coming up”

Martin went to the kitchen and came back with a glass of orange juice and some biscuits.
“The other day, when I delivered that package. What were you doing with Rashidi and is he
really Mr X?”, I asked curiously.
“I met Rashidi through Raymond. He’s a cool guy and a good friend”, he said.
“So…is he Mr X?”
“I don’t know, maybe, I don’t know”
“He told me he’s Mr X, I didn’t buy it. Why would he order a package from King Pin?”
“Why wouldn’t he?”
“He told me that a guy who owned that house is the one who ordered the package”
“I don’t know, maybe”
“Are you friends with this guy?”
“Yeah”
“What’s this guy’s name?”
“You ask too many questions. His name is Jack. Can we talk about something else?”
“How’s your relationship with Foxy?”
“Okay”
“Is it just okay?”
“It’s alright. She’s cool”
 “You still haven’t told me why you told Raymond to convince me to sleep with you in order for
him to save your partnership”
“That was long time ago”
“I still want to know”
“You want to know?”
“Yeah and I also want to know if he sacrificed Foxy”
“Mischief is the answer and no, he didn’t sacrifice Foxy”
“Then what did he do to save your partnership?”
“You ask too many questions”
“I want to know”
“I can’t tell you everything or is it why you’re here? You want answers?”
“No, no, no I just came to see a friend”
“For a minute I thought you were a detective”
“Sorry, I get carried away sometimes”

I had a long conversation with Martin, he’s a cool guy.

I left Martin’s house I decided to treat myself. I went to the mall to buy myself clothes and maybe
surprise Mbali with a few items.
Great!
**********
Many stores have a sale, it was christmas for me. I entered my favourite clothing shop, there
were many people.
I picked as many clothes I could get my hands on. I also picked a few clothes for Mbali, I know
her style and size. As I was shopping, I met Linda and Raymond…awkward.
I acted like I didn’t see them. I know they saw me. They passed me and they didn’t say a word
to me. It’s like we didn’t know each other. I don’t give a damn to be honest.
I went to pay for the clothes and got out of the shop afterwards. I know Mbali will love the
clothes I bought for her.
I went straight home and she loved the clothes I bought her.
Later that day, Antonio took me and Mbali out for dinner in the sky. I’ve never experienced that,
it was awesome. Everything was perfect.
I can’t believe a few months ago I was in the Eastern Cape dreaming of this life that I’m living. I
couldn’t ask for more.
I love my life, screw those who’ve caused me pain.
**********
A week later.
For the past days, I’ve been spending my time in the club, doing what most girls my age do. It’s
nice for a change to just have fun and don’t worry about crooks.
Mbali has changed, I don’t think she even goes to her classes. Well, she leaves my house and I
don’t know if she really goes to her classes. All she cares about is Rashidi, damn, Rashidi’s love
portion works. Mbali is submissive to Rashidi, I find that extremely ridiculous.
I haven’t been to King Pin’s club ever since we had sex. I heard that Foxy has fired many
strippers and replaced them with her friends that used to work for Raymond. Guess who’s
poaching now…
The other day I met Adelphe. He was excited to see me, I can’t say the same. I know
Raymond’s friends have nothing to do with what he did to me but it was best for me to cut every
ties that link to Raymond. If you know what I mean. Adelphe is a cool guy, he filled me in on
what’s been happening in the club. He has a hot tongue, he can’t keep his mouth shut but I
didn’t say I don’t like that. He told me that Linda and Raymond had an argument in the club. He
said he thinks Foxy might have been the reason for the argument. Raymond is “allegedly”
dating Foxy behind Linda’s back. I won’t be surprised if that’s true. He also told me that Rashidi
might leave the country because his passport is expiring by the end of this month. I really didn’t
care about that piece of news, he can go back to Tanzania.
I have to say, Antonio has been good to me but he’s a bit boring. He’s not exciting anymore, I
don’t know why. Our relationship isn’t exciting anymore, but I still love him. We have a lot of
improving to do.
Alright…
**********
At last I managed to have a chance to meet Foxy after her busy schedule. I’m starting to think
she’s avoiding me.
I went to her flat. She was alone, thanks God.
“Nosipho! Come in, what a lovely surprise”, she said.
Too fake.
“How are you doing?” I asked her.
“I’m on top of the world”, she said. She seemed to be in a good mood.
“Good to hear”
“What about you?”
“I’m fine. Are they treating you well at Poker Face Strip Club?”
“Yeah, they’re treating me well”
“So…why didn’t you tell me about the job?”
“I didn’t think it was that important”
“What? Are you kidding me?”
“What did you want me to say, “Hey I got a new job and I’m taking over your position”? Did you
want me to say that?”
“At least if you told me something. If I didn’t go to the club, I don’t think you would’ve told me
yet”
“At first it was hard. You just left your job and I took over from where you left – ”
“Thank you! I just left my job, why would King Pin hire you?”
“Why wouldn’t he?”
“You are Martin’s girlfriend!”
“So what?”
“King Pin hates Martin”
“I’m not Martin, I’m Foxy”
“Regardless, you’re still connected to Martin in a way”
“You’re also connected to Martin in a way, you’re his friend! Tell me, does King Pin hate you?”
“You know what I mean. Foxy, it just doesn’t make sense”
“Nosipho what are you trying to say?”
“King Pin is definitely up to something”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know”
“Exactly! Stop over thinking and making up things in your head, you’ll go crazy”
“I’m not making up things, something just doesn’t seem right”
“You know what? Linda was right. You’re always calculating. Maybe what Raymond did to you
really fucked up your brain, you think everyone is up to something”
“Don’t even start with that! I don’t want to hear Linda or Raymond’s name!”
“Why not? Why can’t you forgive them? Move on!”
“It’s easier for you to say because you never went through what I went through!”
“I know what it feels like to be played, I know exactly how you feel”
“Which side are you on?”
“I’m not choosing sides, Nosipho!”
“Foxy you’re not innocent!”
“What does me not being innocent have to do with this? Go talk to a professional, you need
help”
“I need help? Are you trying to say I’m crazy?”
“I’m not – ”
“Fuck you Foxy! Fuck your fake breasts! Fuck your useless job! Fuck your new bestie, Linda!
Fuck your ugly flat! Fuck your new boss! Fuck everyone! This city is full of fake people. Why did
it take me so long to see that you’re fake? You made me believe that Linda was evil! You and
Linda are different sides of the same coin!”
“You’re calling me fake?! Fuck you too! At least I can take care of myself! I don’t rely on a man
to survive! I’m more independent than your dumb grade 11 drop out ass! You’re sleeping your
way to the top! You’re a prostitute! At least I don’t sell myself for luxurious items! You think you
run this shit! You never did and you never will! Look around, no one likes your arrogant ass! Do
you want me to be real with you? Your name has been going around these streets. King Pin has
been telling people that you sucked his dick. Your name is dirty, you’re a filthy slut to some
people. You call me fake? Do you want me to tell you real shit? Let me be real with you…Your
boyfriend is fucking your new bestie! Your boyfriend is a dirty man whore! I once fucked your
man, your friend fucked your man, Linda has a history with your man, Fifi once fucked your
man, Cleo once fucked your man, half of the strippers who work for Raymond once fucked your
man. You’re calling me fake? Nosipho you don’t know shit! Antonio is just a rich Italian that has
a thing for black girls and he has a small dick. I’m fake? bitch please!”
“May your soul rot in hell”
“Meet you in hell bitch! I’ve been nice to you, you expect me to kiss your ass? Bullshit!”

I left Foxy’s flat, I was boiling with anger. I drove to King Pin’s club. I couldn’t believe Antonio
has a history with a lot of girls, he even had sex with Mbali? I couldn’t believe it! Maybe Foxy
was saying that to break my friendship with Mbali.
I had to speak to King Pin.

Part 14: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

I was furious. I made my way to King Pin’s office, his door was closed. I didn’t care what was
going on inside, I opened the door violently. What I saw really shocked me.
I saw Rashidi accept a brown envelope from King Pin.
“What the fuck are you doing here bitch? Can’t you knock? Huh?” asked King Pin.
I looked at Rashidi, we stared at each other, he looked away.
“It’s urgent”, I said.
Rashidi left the office.
“Can’t you knock?” asked King Pin.
“Why are you going around telling people that I sucked your dick?” I asked furiously.
“Am I lying?” He asked.
“You said you were going to keep it a secret”
“And I did. What do you want?”
“Then why did Foxy tell me that you’re telling people that I sucked your dick? How would she
have possibly know that?”
“Why would I go around telling people what I did with you in the bedroom? That’s absurd!”
“How would she know King Pin? Heh?”
“Foxy is a mental bitch! I didn’t tell anyone that shit! If you believe that shit, then believe it!”
“What was Rashidi doing here?”
“You’re so nosy”
“A brown envelope King Pin? What was in there? Money? What job did he do for you?”
“Bitch get out of my face. I gave you your life, go and live your life. You would have been in
heaven by now, well, hell. Get out of my face”
“I kept my promise King Pin. I hope you do as well”

I left. When I was approaching my car, Rashidi was waiting for me. He was leaning against my
car.
“Back off my car”, I said angrily. I was upset about what happened in there with King Pin and my
argument with that whore, Foxy.
“Just in case you were wondering, this isn’t for me. It’s for a friend”, said Rashidi.
“I don’t care, I wasn’t even wondering”, I said. I got into my car, just when I was about to close
the car door, Rashidi grabbed the door.
“Don’t tell anyone what you saw today”, he said.
“I have my own problems to deal with, why would I go around telling people that you’re
rewarded by King Pin for doing a great job at whatever you’re doing? Why would I?” I asked.
“Hey, hey, hey, he’s not rewarding me. This is for a friend”, he said defending himself.
“Who’s this friend? Why does he or she have to be so anonymous? Why?”
“I can’t tell you who he is”
“Oh, he’s a guy?”
“Just promise me you won’t tell anyone”
“And if I do?”
“I know some of your deepest darkest secrets”
“Ha-ha-ha”
“I’m serious. I know you wanted to bring Raymond down but failed”
“Who told you that? King Pin?”
“King Pin? What does he have to do with that?”
“I was just guessing”
“You keep my secrets, I keep yours”
“I thought you said that envelope was for a friend, why must that be a secret? Anyway, me
wanting to bring Raymond down wasn’t a secret. Everyone knows I hate him”
“That’s not the only secrets I know”
“Can I go now?”
“Promise?”
“Can I go now?”
“Promise?”
“Ok, I promise. I don’t know what makes you think I’m interested in whatever you have going
on. I have my own problems to deal with”
I drove away. I went to my house, Mbali was attending her classes, I decided to watch tv then
drive to my man’s house.
Not having a job really makes one very bored, especially me.
I drove to Antonio’s house. By the way, I bought takeaways, I hope he hasn’t had lunch.
Hmm…
**********
I parked my way car outside Antonio’s yard. I opened the gate and I went inside. I knocked on
his door, no answer. I knocked again, no answer. Maybe he’s not home. I shouted his name. He
told me he was coming, he was on the shower. I waited.
He opened the door, he had a towel wrapped around his waist. He was barefoot, he kissed me
on the lips. I went inside, he closed the door.
“How are you baby?” He asked, he was out of breathe.
“I’m okay. Babe, who knew rushing out of the shower makes someone this out of breathe”, I
said.
“Yeah. How was your day babe?”
“My day was horrible”
“What happened?”
“Long story”
“Tell me”
“I had an argument with Foxy”
“I thought you two were good friends, what went wrong?”
“We were chatting and we ended up arguing. Your name came up, in a nasty way”
“My name? Fill me in”
“Foxy told me that you have a history with her, Linda and other strippers that work for
Raymond. I hope I’m not just another black girl”
“No, no, I love you. You know that”
Antonio went to sit next to me, he kissed me on my cheek.
“That was in the past. I’m with you now, I gave you a house and a car. I love you”
“I know you love me but sometimes when things from the past come up like this, I just don’t
know what to make of it”
“I’m sorry babe, I’m sorry you had to find out like that”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Why would I tell you about someone I had a fling with years ago?”
“Foxy is my friend”
“I know, but that’s all in the past”
“I don’t know”
“You never told me about Raymond”
I was surprised.
“I don’t want to talk about him”
“You see? Please don’t let me talk about my past flings”
“Are you going somewhere?”
“Uhm…yeah, I was going to see how things are going in my restaurant”
I looked down. I don’t know if I should ask him about Mbali, maybe Foxy was lying. Mbali is in
love with Rashidi, maybe I should just keep quiet.

“Is everything okay babe?” asked Antonio.

“Yeah”, I lied.
“I know you’re feeling down, let me make it up to you this evening”, he said.
“I would love that but I’m not in the mood to go out”
“We can have dinner at my house. Lit some candles and order some food”
“Is my food that bad?”
“No babe, your food is the best food I’ve ever tasted. You don’t seem like you would be in the
mood to cook”
“True”
“What do you say? Dinner at my house?”
“I guess so”
“Yes! And we can have our own nice time afterwards”
“Yes for the dinner, I don’t know about the nice time afterwards”
“What? Babe you can’t be serious”
“I am”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m not in the mood”
“I’ll make you be in the mood”
“Oh?”
“Yes”
“We’ll see”
“Let me get you something to drink. Same old juice?”
“Yeah”

Antonio went to the kitchen. His pants were tangled, it looks like he was in a hurry when he took
them off. His bedroom door was not fully open, his tangled pants looked neglected. I stood up
and went to untangle them, fold them and place them neatly on his bed. I looked around,
something was weird. Antonio said he was taking a shower but his face cloth was on his bed
and DRY. I heard Antonio’s phone ringing, he went outside to answer it. I decided to rush to the
bathroom. There were no signs that he took a shower and rushed to open the door. He looked
like he faked the whole thing.
I came out of the bathroom. Antonio came inside the house.
“Here’s your glass of juice”, said Antonio giving me the glass.
“Thank you”, I said.
As we went to the lounge, I saw an item of clothing behind the couch. Antonio saw it too. He
picked it up.
“Baby, here’s your blouse. You might have forgotten it”, he said.
“This isn’t my blouse”, I said.
“What? This is your blouse”, he insisted.
“This isn’t my blouse! Don’t I know my clothes now? That doesn’t belong to me”, I said.

I fear what was about to happen.

Somebody hold me…
**********
Antonio kept insisting that the blouse was mine.

“Where is she?” I asked.

“Who?” He asked acting dumb.
“Where is she?” I asked again.
“Who? Who? Who? Who?” He asked repeatedly.
“Where is Mbali?” I asked him.
“I don’t know. Where is she? In class? I don’t know”
I searched the house, he was following me like he was my tail. He kept saying, “Stop searching
my house, you won’t find anyone in here”.
“Antonio I know you’re not alone in this house”, I screamed angrily.
“Of course I’m not alone, I’m with you”, he said.
“I’m not joking. I know you were not showering”
“What was I doing? Why do I have this towel wrapped around my waist then? Why?”
“You were obviously faking it! Where is she?”
I went to his bedroom, I opened his wardrobe, he was holding me. I used all my power, he
slipped and I quickly opened the wardrobe and I saw Mbali.
“I knew it! That wasn’t my blouse. I bought her this blouse. And you? How could you Mbali?” I
asked.
“I can explain”, she said.
“You can explain? Explain then”, I said.
“There’s no explaining to do, Mbali go home”, said Antonio.
“She doesn’t have a home anymore. You’re not welcomed in my house, you can move to
Rashidi’s house. Tell him why you moved out of my house, tell him how much of a dirty whore
you are”, I said angrily.
“Nosipho stop it! I’m sick and tired of this, okay? Mbali take your clothes and leave”, said
Antonio.
“She said she can explain, let me hear”, I shouted.
“It’s not what you think”, she said.
“Then what happened? You guys were playing hide and seek that’s why you were hiding in the
wardrobe half naked? Explain to me. Let’s go to the lounge, explain to me”, I said.
Mbali wore her clothes. Antonio took me to the kitchen.

“What do you have to say? I thought you said you loved me”, I said with tears rushing down my
face.
“Babe, I know what I did was wrong and I’m really sorry. But you made me do that, you don’t
pay attention to me”, he said.
“My fault? How can I be responsible for you cheating on me? I wanted to ask you earlier if Foxy
was right. Guess what? She was right”, I said.
“You don’t pay attention to me and you don’t want to even have sex with me”
“How long has this been happening?”
“Me and Mbali are not in any relationship”
“How long?”
“A few weeks”
“And what’s a few weeks Antonio?”
“Only two weeks. But you know how I feel about you”
“I’m going. I need to sleep”
“Please forgive me”
“The dinner is off”
“Babe, please. I’m begging you”
“Bye”

I went out of his house. My heart was shattered into pieces, I didn’t know Antonio out of all
people would do this to me. I drove to my house.
I have to admit, karma is a bitch.
**********
When I got home I decided to throw Mbali’s clothes out. I was so angry, I threw her clothes in
the street and in my yard.
Mbali knocked on the door, I didn’t answer the door. I saw her picking up her clothes. I opened
the door. She was a bit scared to come in.
“Come in and explain to me”, I said.
She was shaking.
“I don’t have an explanation, I deserve everything you are going to do to me. You can kick me
out of your house, I understand. Sorry won’t change what happened. I don’t have an
explanation”, she said.
“Why him?” I asked.
“The first time I had sex with him, I was drunk. I’m going through a hard time, my relationship
with Rashidi turned sour. He wasn’t happy and I wasn’t happy, we were trying to make each
other happy. He came with a bottle of wine, you weren’t here. We started talking and we drank
wine. I started confessing some stuff and he confessed too, then we started making out. We
had sex. We were unhappy people”, she explained.
“Two weeks?” I asked.
“I’m going through a hard time. I am right now. Antonio loves you, I just wanted to be loved”
“Wanted to be loved by a man who has a girlfriend?”
“No. I’m just saying”
“You have something going on with Rashidi. You tell me everytime that you love him – ”
“I do but sometimes he…he’s not the Rashidi I know”
“I’m hurt Mbali. I didn’t think you had it in you to do such a thing. You are the only real friend I
have. How am I going to trust you again?”
“You can trust me. I swear I won’t do that again – ”
“What if your relationship with Rashidi turns sour? Are you going to rush to Antonio?”
“That won’t happen again”
“I think you should move out”
“I won’t do that again, I promise”
“I want to trust you but I can’t”
“I know I did you wrong but I’m a human being, sorry to sound like a complete asshole.
Everyone makes mistakes, don’t tell me you never made mistakes in your life”
“I have…plenty”
“Put yourself in my shoes”
“I think you should leave, now”
“Please”
“If I didn’t find out today, the affair would have continued”
“It wouldn’t”
“It would. If I didn’t bust you”
“I still want to be your friend”
“I don’t trust you anymore”
“I don’t blame you. At least tell me that you’re still my friend”
“I don’t know, Mbali”
“You’ve done a lot for me. I appreciate you, very much. Where must I go?”
“To your old flat or Rashidi’s house”
“Someone lives in my old flat”
“Go to Rashidi’s house”
“I can’t”
“He’s your boyfriend”
“I know but our relationship is sour at the moment”
“Then look for a place to live elsewhere”
“Are you going to let me live on the streets?”
“Why should you stay here? Go to Rashidi’s house”
“I can’t”
“Why not? Why?”
“Because he beats me. I’m afraid of him. He has some anger issues. I can’t live with him”
“He’s abusing you?”
“It’s not abuse, it’s just – ”
“Don’t defend him! He’s abusing you”
“I’m not an abuse victim”
“You’re in denial”
“He doesn’t beat me all the time. He’s a good guy but sometimes he takes work stress at
home”
“You’re a smart girl, dump his ass. He doesn’t deserve you”
“I like him a lot”
“Look, things will never be the same between us. If you show me you’re willing to make this
friendship work, then we can continue our friendship. What you did was wrong. I don’t forgive
and forget, but I’m learning. I’ve done a lot of things out of anger and I don’t want to be that
crazy girl again. You can stay in my house but you must promise me to never do what you did
again. If you do it again, I swear I’ll make you pay”
“I won’t. I swear, thank you for letting me stay. I really appreciate it”
I’ve cheated on Antonio before and I stole from him. I can’t act innocent but at the same time I
feel betrayed by my own friend. I can’t let her go now, I don’t have anyone in Jozi besides
Antonio and her.
Once again, karma is a bitch.
**********
I woke up the next morning, I felt like everything that happened yesterday was a dream. I
received many text messages from Antonio. He was apologising non-stop.
Mbali went to her classes. I decided to go out, like go eat out. I had a lot on my mind.
I didn’t go to Antonio’s restaurant. I went to a new restaurant that recently opened. A waitress
came to me and I ordered something to eat. As I was sitting waiting for my order, I couldn’t stop
thinking…how did Foxy know that Mbali was sleeping with Antonio? How did he know about
King Pin? My order came and I ate.
As I was eating, Linda entered the restaurant. She was asking people if they were enjoying their
food, weird. She disappeared, maybe she went to the restaurant’s kitchen. I called a waitress
and asked if she knew Linda. The waitress replied, “Yes, she’s my boss. She owns this
restaurant together with her fiancé”. I wasn’t surprised.
Linda was in sight again, she went towards me. Oh my goodness, I’m not in the mood.
“I hope you’re enjoying your food”, she said.
“Yeah”, I replied.
“Thanks for coming to this restaurant, I hope you come again. You can refer your friends here if
you wish”, she said. “Yeah”, I said in a low tone.
 She left. I saw her going to another table, she said the same thing. She acted like I was just a
customer and she didn’t know me, great actor.

I left the restaurant. I drove to King Pin’s club. I decided to pay Foxy a visit. I went to my old
office, I didn’t find her. Maybe she hasn’t arrived for work yet, no, she’s suppose to be here. If
she’s not in her office, then maybe in King Pin’s office?

I went to King Pin’s office and the door was closed. For some weird reason, I decided to place
my ear on the door to hear if anyone was there. I heard Foxy’s voice, she was talking to King
Pin.
Foxy: They have a new restaurant.
King Pin: Who cares?
Foxy: I do, that could’ve been me. She stole my man.
King Pin: I don’t care about your girl drama, I just want the documents.
Foxy: I’m her friend now, that will be so easy.
King Pin: Raymond is going down.
Foxy: Their wedding is next month, I’m one of the bridesmaids.
King Pin: The job will be done by then?
Foxy: Yeah
King Pin: Don’t screw me, trust me, you don’t want to mess with a man that has nothing to lose.
Foxy: I won’t you can trust me.

I left, I couldn’t believe Foxy. She was planning to bring Raymond down. I don’t really care but
she doesn’t really love Linda, she’s using her to get back at Raymond.
What a fake bitch.

Part 15: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

I was learning to get over what Antonio did to me. I think I’m growing up, I am right? I don’t think
I’m as bitter as before, maybe getting over Raymond (totally) really worked for me. As for Mbali,
our relationship isn’t the same again. Maybe when time progresses things will be just fine but in
the meantime, I don’t really know. The problem I have is trusting people too much and in the
process I get hurt. The other problem I have is getting myself in trouble.
I don’t like living without knowing. When I’m alone, I ask myself, what’s going on? Who is Mr X?
Why is Rashidi calling himself Mr X? Why did King Pin hire his enemy’s girlfriend? Why is Foxy
planning to bring Raymond down? I always ask myself questions and questions. I may not know
the answers but I won’t rest till I know what’s happening.
I decided to drive to that house I found Rashidi sitting comfortably in some guy’s office,
remember? I just wanted to visit this man who can’t be named.
I drove to this mystery man’s house.
Curiosity killed the cat but it didn’t kill this young lady.
**********
I arrived at this mystery man’s house. I didn’t see any activity happening outside. I went out of
my car, and I looked around. This house was a bit more busier the last time I was here, strange
if you ask me. My car was parked outside of this mystery man’s yard. I went towards the gate,
luckily the gate wasn’t locked, I made my way into the yard. I couldn’t hear people talking, it’s
like no one was home. I knocked on the door.
The last time I was here, there were many girls. Some guy opened the door, can this be the
mystery man? He looked clean, I mean, he looked like a man who wouldn’t be involved in any
drug related business. He was a black man, he was wearing spectacles and he looked like a
nerd.
“Hi sir”, I greeted him.
“Hi, how may I help you?” He asked.
“I’m looking for a guy named Rashidi”, I said.
“Sorry, this is the wrong house I’m sure. Try other neighbouring houses”, he said.
I heard a woman screaming, “Who’s that Vukani?” The man answered, “A young lady looking
for a guy named Rashidi”. The woman appeared, she was pregnant.
“We just moved in, we don’t really know many here”, she said.
“Or Mr X?” I asked.
“Lady, we just moved in, try next door”, the man said.
“I would like to know who the previous owner of this house was”, I said.
“An old lady, we don’t know her name. A bank sold us this house. You can ask our neighbours,
maybe they know a thing or two”, the man said.
“Okay, thank you”, I said.
“Alright”, the man said. He closed the door.

An old lady? Are you kidding me? Something was definitely up. I drove my car to Antonio’s
restaurant. I just needed something to eat.
I ordered something to eat. Just when my food was coming, I saw Bella and her friend entering
the restaurant. She has the nerve to break the rules, she was banned from ever entering the
restaurant. Bella kept looking at me. I think she was gossiping about me to her friend, they kept
giggling. I felt so uncomfortable. They kept giggling like school children. I know they were
laughing at me. I couldn’t take it anymore, I went to the table Bella was sitting.
“What’s your problem?” I asked her.
“Nothing, what’s your problem?” She asked.
“You’re not suppose to be here”, I told her.
“Says who?” She asked.
“Antonio”
“Antonio? Which Antonio?”
“Stop playing dumb or are you naturally dumb?”
“What do you want from me? Wasn’t Antonio enough?”
“You were banned from entering this restaurant, why are you here?”
“Banned? What a folk story! Who told you that bed time story, let me guess, uhm…Antonio?”
“He said he banned you from – ”
“He did? He did? I wonder why he didn’t mention that last night”
“Last night?”
“He didn’t tell you? He gave me a call”
“What call?”
“Well, it’s not like it’s the first time. Your boyfriend has been calling me non stop, I’m starting to
think he has my number on speed dial”
“Fuck you”
“Don’t tell me, he didn’t tell you. You guys should go see a relationship counselor, I’m tired of
him nagging about his bad relationship. By the way, work on your anger issues, that’s not cute”
I angrily left the restaurant. What’s wrong with Antonio? I can’t believe he made me look bad in
front of Bella and her friend.
My relationship with Antonio isn’t good at all. I don’t want to leave him, no I don’t but I’m willing
to make things work with him.
*sigh*
**********
I went to my house. Mbali was already back from her class. We don’t talk much these days. I
got a phone call from Antonio, he told me he had a surprise for me and that I should go to his
house this evening.
I wonder what surprise he had for me. I dolled myself up, when it was 6:30pm I drove to his
house.
I got to his house, stepped out of my car and went to knock on his door. He was quick to open
the door, I gave him a kiss on the cheek. He led me upstairs to a spare room. I saw a table for
two, candles around the room and some good looking food.
“Surprise!” He shouted with excitement.
“Wow”, I said.
“Since we didn’t have that dinner the last time, I figured why not? I hope you like it”, he said.
“I love it, babe”
“I’m glad you love it”
He pulled out a chair for me. He was being a gentleman but that won’t change everything.
“You look beautiful”, he complimented.
“Thank you, you look good too”, I said.
This trying too hard to make things look perfect was awkward and fake.
“I don’t know how many times I apologised to you, just know that I love you and I’m trying to
make things right”, he said.
“I know you are, but let’s not lie to ourselves, our relationship isn’t the best in town”, I said.
“I know but we should work on it”, he said.
“I would love to work on it but how can I work on our relationship when there are people who will
come in and expose secrets?”
“What are you talking? You should stop hanging out with Foxy, she’s probably feeding you shit”
“I’m no longer hanging out with her”
“Then don’t talk about her”
“Antonio, you brought up her name”
“Obviously you were talking about her”
“Whatever”
“Nosipho, we can’t carry on like this. I want to work things between us, do you?”
“I do”
“What do you think we should do?”
“I don’t know, be real with one another?”
“Yeah, we should start there”
We ate, I didn’t really enjoy myself.
After eating we went to the lounge.
“I had another thing in mind”, said Antonio.
“And what’s that?” I asked.
He placed his hand on my thigh. He leaned over for a kiss, do I have a choice? I met him
halfway and we kissed. His phone rang and he went to answer it in his office. I saw a framed
picture of him and Bella in his room divider. Wow, and he wants to move on?

After his phone call, he came back excitedly.

“Where were we again? Oh, yeah, kissing”, he said.
“Babe? What’s that picture doing there?” I asked.
“It’s always been there for a long time, ok, back to where we were”, he said trying to change the
subject. He leaned forward for a kiss, I looked the other way.
“What the heck?” He asked.
“Why is her photo in there? Aren’t you guys divorced?”
“I’m going to get rid of the photo, okay?”
“Okay, also get rid of her phone number”
“What?”
“And ban her from entering the restaurant”
“Are you kidding me?”
“I’m sick of your lies Antonio, are you having second thoughts?”
“Second thoughts on what?”
“On why you’re with me?”
“Of course not!”
“Then tell me, why are you sleeping with my friend? Why are you frequently calling your ex
wife? Why didn’t you ban her from the restaurant?”
“What’s wrong with you? Why are you so jealous? I don’t know what’s up with you”
“You thought I wasn’t going to find out?”
“Who told you this?”
“Bella!”
“Nosipho, I can’t do this anymore”
“Why are you even in contact with Bella? I hope phone calls is the only contact you’ve done
with her behind my back”
“I’m sick and tired of how you’re treating me. You don’t care about my emotions, you don’t care
about my sex life, you only care about yourself. You always put yourself first, you’re selfish,
arrogant and stubborn”
“Don’t turn this around. It’s all your fault!”
“My fault? Clearly I’m not the only person in this relationship”
“Whatever”
“Yeah, that’s all you say. I’ve been around longer to know what love is. And Nosipho, you never
really loved me!”
“I did, I do”
“No! You just like me!”
“I don’t!”
“Why can’t you trust me?”
“You gave me a reason to not trust you!”
“Don’t tell me you never done something you regret”
“I have and I understand, that’s why I forgave you!”
“Nosipho? If I was just an average guy, who doesn’t have what I have, would you have dated
me?”
“Of course”
“You promised one day, you’ll introduce me to your parents – ”
“I don’t want to talk about my parents”
“Why not? Is it because they don’t approve this relationship? Why?”
“No…I just don’t like talking about them”
“You wanted to know why I cheated on you?”
“Tell me”
“Mbali is submissive, she treats me like a man. She isn’t stubborn and she understands me,
she caters for my needs”
“And I don’t?”
“You only care about Nosipho. What about Antonio? Your heart is full of love for Nosipho, I
don’t know if Antonio has a space in your heart”
“What’s going to happen now? You’re going to take your house and your car?”
“I thought about that – ”
“And?”
“I think so”
“I’m just a number, right? Just one of the black girls you dated, right?”
“I loved you but maybe I wasn’t in love with what’s inside. Maybe I was in love with who you are
in the outside. I’m sorry”
“Alright. I’m going to look for a new place to rent”
“Okay. You can stay in the house until you find a place to rent”
“Okay”
“I didn’t think things would turn out this way but, this is life”
“Goodbye Antonio, it was great knowing you”
“Same here”
We hugged and I left his house.
I didn’t feel hurt, I think our relationship was a ticking time bomb.
Whatever.
**********
I told Mbali that I broke up with Antonio, she was worried. She thought maybe she was the
reason behind the break up. I told her that I was going to look for a place to rent. I advised her
to look for a place to rent.
Maybe I should just pursue my dream job which is to become an actress. I decided to look for
an apartment online, I saw a post by a gay man named Glam, he was looking for a mate to split
the rent money. He wanted a female or gay man to share his apartment. I e-mailed him, I hope
he answers my e-mail.
Two days later.
I decided to pay KG a visit. KG is that agent guy who gave me his business card. The address
was written on the back of the business card. I drove my car to this building.
The building looked abandoned and old. Some windows were broken. I saw an old man sitting
outside the building, he was carrying a walking stick.
“Sir, do you know where room35 is located?” I asked him.
“Take the stairs up, it’s somewhere on the left side. You’ll see the number on the door”, he said.
“Okay, thank you”, I said.
“Don’t you have R5? I want to buy some bread”, he said.
I gave him R20. He kept thanking me over and over again. Sweet.
I entered the building, I saw an elevator, it was in a bad state. I took the stairs up. Some people
lived there, jeez! How much do they rent? R10? Anyway, I saw room35. The door was wide
open, I saw some people carrying papers. I entered the room, a guy came towards me. He had
dreadlocks.
“How can I help you?” He asked.
“I came for a screening test, an agent named KG gave me this card”, I said.
The man shouted, “Lucky, where is KG?” Lucky responded, “He’s out for lunch”.
“You can take a seat”, the dreadlocked guy said.
The seats were so uncomfortable.
After a few minutes, KG arrived. I think he recognised me.
“Hey, what took you so long to come here? I’ve been waiting for you. If you came earlier, you
would have had an extra job at Isidingo. They were looking for party people, you have to start
small”, he said.
“I was busy”, I said.
“I can imagine. Right now, we’re going to test your acting skills. After this lady, you will stand
there and just give us a 5min acting role”
“What must I say?”
“Anything, just be in character”
“Okay”
“Alright, you’re going after this lady. Lucky, she’s next”

I went after that girl. I did my thing and they loved it. KG told me that they were interested in
having me on their team. I was happy to hear that. He told me that he’ll do a follow up meeting
with me. We were going to discuss the percentage and other essential things. He told me that
we’ll meet at that restaurant we met months ago.
Mbali moved in with Rashidi. He doesn’t know that Mbali cheated on him, and I won’t be the one
to break the news.
One step at a time.
* * * ** * * * * * *
The house is empty, I can hear myself think. Ever since Mbali moved out, I’ve been a bit
paranoid, especially at night. I had a bad dream, remember that dream I had of my mother
pointing a gun at me? I had a second dream of my mother. This time she was eating at
Antonio’s restaurant. I walked in and I was surprised to see her, when I looked at her plate she
was eating a soup made of blood. That was a scary dream, I didn’t understand what it meant
and I didn’t want to understand it because it was too creepy.
I woke up in the morning and saw a message on my phone. I opened the inbox and I saw a
reply email from Glam. I read it and he invited me to view his apartment, I was so excited. He
even wrote his phone number, I decided to give him a call. He told me that he will be in his
apartment until 12pm because he had to go to a job interview.
I took a shower after that I wore the outfit I picked out. I drove my car to the location, the
address was written. Unfortunately there was traffic, I was afraid that I wasn’t going to make it in
time. Today I was also going to meet KG, my possible new agent. As I was in traffic, I saw a
woman passing by in my rear mirror. I looked around and I didn’t see anyone. I tried to
remember what this woman was wearing but she was quick, I just saw a grey dress, well, I
think. A man driving a Golf GTi was opposite me. I saw him lifting his hand, greeting me, I
responded with a nod. He said something, I didn’t hear him, I faked a smile. He leaned over and
fully opened the window at his passenger side and shouted, “How are you?” Is he seriously
trying to have a conversation with me in traffic? Weird. I didn’t talk, I just signaled “ok” with my
thumb. Finally cars were moving, thanks God. He hooted, I hooted back. The guy acted like he
knew me, he’s so weird.
After driving, driving and driving, I finally arrived at Glam’s apartment. I stepped out of my car. I
pray the house looks good inside like in the photos I saw.
There was a bell at the door. Who still uses a bell anyway? I pressed the bell, it didn’t work. I
knocked on the door. He opened the door, I think I disrupted him while he was putting on his
make up.
“Nosipho?” He asked.
“Yes”, I replied.
“Come in, yoh! My bell doesn’t work but I’m planning to fix it”, he said.
I entered the apartment, there were dishes in the sink. The kitchen was a mess. I was
disgusted.
“I was going to clean that”, he said. “Let’s go to the sitting room this way”, he said.
The apartment didn’t look clean. His lounge had shoes and other items of clothing.
“I was going to clean that too”, he said. I saw a toy that looked like a penis. I looked at him
puzzled.
“Don’t judge me girl, everyone has needs”, he said.
I didn’t know what he was talking about.
“Let me show you your room”, he said.
He led me to the bedroom, at least it was neat compared to the other rooms. “Do you like it?”
He asked with a smile. “Uh…it’s okay”, I said uncertain.
The bedroom looked like it belonged to a broke person, the bedroom was neat though.
Glam raised his eyebrows.
“You don’t like it?” He asked.
“I…yeah but it’s neat”, I said.
“Do you see yourself sleeping here or what?” He asked.
“I don’t know”, I said.
“You have to know, bitch – ”
“Excuse me?”
“Oops. My friends like to warn me about this. I call my friends, “bitch” and sometimes I call
other people “bitch” by mistake”
“Oh?”
“So? What are you going to do now?”
“I think the apartment is fine but the bedroom is not so great”
“Go rent a room at a hotel then”
“I would if I had the money”
“You look like you have money”
“I do? I don’t have money”
“But you have that car?”
“Yes, I hustle…”
“Bitch please, what hustle? Oh, I know. The only hustle that can get you that car is dating a
sugar daddy”
“You’re crazy”
“Bitch please, I know that for a fact”
“I don’t have time for this, is there anything left for me to see?”
“Diva! Relax your tits. Let’s check out the bathroom”

We went to check the bathroom, it was really beautiful. He also showed me his bedroom, it was
far from being neat. I told him that I will give him an answer tonight.
I left.
I had to meet KG to discuss business. I drove to my favourite restaurant, no, not Antonio’s
restaurant.
When I was driving to the restaurant, I saw a taxi full of people. When I took a quick look at the
taxi, I saw a woman who had her face buried in her arms, maybe she was sleeping. I looked
again and I saw a teenage girl talking to phone. What? It can’t be possible, I looked at the taxi,
my neck stretched out. I didn’t realise the robots were Green, I was waken by a car behind me,
hooting. I drove my car.
Why am I having these weird visions? Why? It’s crazy! I think it has gotten worse, I was even
afraid to sleep alone in the big house tonight. The best move is to move in with Glam ASAP!
I entered the restaurant and KG was waiting for me.
“Hi KG”, I greeted him.
“Hey, hey, hey. Are you ready?” He asked.
“Yep I am”, I said as I sat down.
“Ok, so Nosipho, I’m a talent agent and let me go straight to the point. If you agree to be
managed by me, I will get 10% of what you make. My role as a talent agent is to act as a go-
between for casting directors and you, the actor. I have great connections with some casting
directors, good legal connection – ”
“How would I get a role?”
“Casting directors send out notices to talent agents describing what kind of actor they’re looking
for in each role. I pick the role that I think is mostly suitable for you. I then send a picture of you,
CV and demo link”
“Okay”
“In addition to responding to casting director’s notices, I seek out upcoming
auditions, follow up on your meetings with casting directors, act as your professional contact
person and negotiate your contracts. A good talent agent, which I am, will promote you one-on-
one with casting directors when I feel you need a little push to get noticed. Are you comfortable
with me being you agent?”
“Yeah”
“Ok, to start off on a right foot, I need to know which roles you’re looking for. Just remember
that not everyone can be a leading man or woman”
“Which roles do you think will suit me?”
“Uhm, let me think…if we were talking about comedy, you’ll be more suitable with a sarcastic,
uptight character. I just think you can pull off any genre except action. I don’t think action is for
you”
“I don’t really like action movies”
“You have to sign an agreement”
“Okay”
“Are you happy with everything? Don’t you have any questions?”
“No, I’m happy”
“Thank you Nosipho, you can sign here”
I signed the agreement, I was happy with everything. KG treated me to some lunch, he told me
it was the first and last time he’s doing that for me. Funny.
I didn’t want to go home. Who was I going to talk to anyway? I decided to call Mbali, she was at
the library. I went to pick her up.

Mbali was waiting for me outside the library, she saw my car.
“Hi”, I greeted her.
“Sharp”, she said opening the car door. “Are you good?” I asked her.
“Yep”, she replied.
She didn’t seem like she was in the mood.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” I asked.
“Yep”, she replied.
“Okay, you look…happy”, I said sarcastically.
She didn’t engage in any conversation with me. It was total silence. She said I must drive her to
the bus stop nearby Rashidi’s house.
Odd, just freakin’ odd.

Part 16: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

It’s all fun and games during the day but at night, it’s a totally different story. I don’t know, these
days I see things that aren’t there, more like I see someone. I don’t know if I’m seeing a ghost or
I’m just going crazy. I get scared at night, I no longer sleep with the lights off. I even play the
radio when I sleep. I’m scared.
I had another dream. I was walking in the forest, I was a young me. I came across a coffin. I
opened the coffin and I saw myself there sleeping peacefully. A young me was looking at the
current Nosipho, if you understand me. I woke up, I was sweating. I was so paranoid. What was
happening to me? I couldn’t go back to sleep again, I went to the kitchen and I made myself a
cup of coffee then I watched tv.
I was relieved when I saw it was getting brighter outside. I couldn’t wait to move out and live
with someone. My new gay roommate was going to be a problem, at least he won’t sleep with
someone I’m dating.
Something told me to kneel near my bed and just pray. I could feel tears rushing down my face.
How can everything be perfect and the next moment everything is chaotic? My life was starting
to be this tangled ball of yarn.
As soon as I saw the sunrise, I took a bath, a lengthy bath. I had a lot to think about, my family
was on my mind. Maybe if I go back home, give my parents some money and leave again. I’m
not rich but I did save some money. I can leave next week. I was afraid of the unexpected, I
know my parents will give me a lecture but that’s what parents are for, right?
After taking the bath, I felt eased. I phoned Glam, I told him I was moving in today. I received a
text from Mbali, she wanted to meet me. I just wonder what she had to say.
Hmm…
**********
I rushed to go meet Mbali, I wonder what she had to say. The last time I saw Mbali she wasn’t
the happiest girl in the world.

“Hey Mbali. Why am I here?” I asked her straight away.

“Hi”, she greeted.
“Hi”, I greeted again. She looked like she had something important to tell me.
“I have something to tell you but I don’t know how”
“You can take your time, Mbali”
“The only reason I’m telling you this is because you’ve been good to me and I have to repay
you, I might not have enough money but I owe you my loyalty”
“Sounds serious”
“It is”
“Tell me”
“I’ve been spying on you”
“What?”
“When we were living together, I was spying on you. I told him everything he needed to know.
He made me seduce Antonio and sleep with him just to steal from him”
“Who?”
“Rashidi”
“Rashidi? What’s wrong with this guy? Why is he so evil? What did you steal from Antonio?”
“A file”
“Which file”
“A confidential file”
“And you’re telling me this now?”
“You gave me a second chance”
“What makes you think I will give you another chance?”
“If you could just put yourself in my shoes, I think you would understand. I never asked for all of
that”
“Why do my friends betray me? The people I call my best friends? I was busy fearing my
enemies, I was being cautious around them. I didn’t know that the person who hugged me, who
called me a friend was the real person I should fear”
“I’m sorry”
“You’re just like Linda!”
“I didn’t mean to”
“You didn’t mean to? You backstabbed me multiple times, I forgave you once. I’ll be stupid to
do that the second time around”
“You found out about that from me! Imagine if someone told you this, how would you feel? At
least I had the nerve to tell you!”
“What difference does that make?”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you”
“You already did. I never betrayed you, not even once”
“Sorry”
“Sorry? Sorry my ass. Get your lying, cheating, backstabbing ass out of here Mbali. You make
me sick!”

Mbali left. I couldn’t believe it! Why am I always the one to be backstabbed? What did I ever do
to these girls?
I went to pack my clothes, I was ready to move in with Glam. After I was done, I called Antonio
to collect his keys. I still had that car Raymond bought for me. Antonio came and he collected
the keys, there wasn’t much talking. I drove to Glam’s apartment and I immediately moved in.
He gave me a spare key.
That day I decided to drive to the nearest restaurant. I noticed that I had no friends, I had no
one. Mbali gone, Antonio gone too, the people I had left were gone. I had no job, I can’t only rely
on my acting gigs. As I was eating, Raymond came in, he saw me and he went straight to me.
“Why are you eating alone?” He asked.
“Why shouldn’t I?” I asked.
“You shouldn’t because…ok, I’m talking shit, I’m just trying to get you to talk back”, he said.
“Oh”
“I’ve been looking for you”
“You want to drug me again?”
“Ha-ha-ha that joke is old. Seriously, I was looking for you Mbali”
“Why?”
“I need your help”
“What makes you think I would help you?”
“Because you might be willing to make this person pay”
“I’m tired of helping people bring other people down. It never ends well”
“It will end well this time”
“I can’t help you”
“Why? You didn’t even hear what I had to say”
“You already said it Raymond”
“I mean, I haven’t told you the person’s name”
“Tell me”
“Promise you’ll help me?”
“I can’t promise”
“Ok, promise you won’t tell anyone?”
“Yeah”
“King Pin”
“What?”
“Yes, him”
“What made you think I would help you”
“Because I heard about him replacing you with Foxy”
“He didn’t fire me, I quit on my own”
“Or are you scared of him?”
“Raymond, don’t think I will help you, I won’t”
“Why Nosi?”
“Because you don’t mess with King Pin and expect to come out alive”
“King Pin talks a lot of shit and he can’t back it up, he acts tough but he’s just a coward. I know
him too well, the guy is even intimidated by my presence”
“How are you planning to bring him down? Don’t tell me you want some documents”
“Huh? No. I will tell you when you agree to help me”
“Raymond, I have an acting career to persuade. I can’t afford to jeopardise it by being involved
in crimes and – ”
“It’s not a crime Nosi”
“Then what is it?”
“It’s called tasting his own medicine”
“Oh shit! Anyway, shouldn’t you be parked in a hiding place somewhere talking to your
pregnant side chick?”
“Woah! Pregnant side chick? What are you talking about?”
“I saw a pregnant girl get out of your car. Who was that?”
“Why are you so curious?”
“I just am”
“For your information, that was Linda’s sister. Linda doesn’t get along with her family, her sister
was dating a Nigerian man but after she got pregnant, he dumped her. She just wanted some
cash, I was just helping her. Don’t tell Linda, she won’t be happy”
“Why? She’s her sister!”
“Her sister is one of the people that turned their back on her. I think she wants to fix things
between them”
“What’s her sister’s name?”
“Siba – Sibabalwe”
“Where does she stay?”
“Why are you asking me these questions?”
“Because I can”
“She lives somewhere in Jozi, I pay her monthly rent and I buy her groceries – ”
“Oh, whatever”
“See? I’m a good guy”
“Look, I don’t think I will help you”
“Why not?”
“I told you, I don’t want to jeopardise my career”
“Please think about it, here, this is my new number. Call me if you changed your mind”
“I don’t think so”
“Please take it”
“Okay, whatever”
“Nosi?”
“Yeah?”
“That ‘oh you want to drug me’ joke is so out of fashion”
“Whatever”
“Okay, bye”
“Bye”

Raymond left. I didn’t think I needed to think about, I don’t want to get involved. How ironic?
King Pin and Foxy are working together to bring down Raymond and Raymond wants my help
to bring down King Pin.
I went straight to Glam’s apartment. He’s always out partying with his gay friends, no wonder his
apartment looks dirty.
*sigh*
**********
One week later.
For the past week, I’ve been going to auditions. I played my first role as a stripper, it was a small
part but I killed it. Glam is a sweet guy but he parties a lot. I didn’t give Raymond a call because
I didn’t want to be part of some scheming, gone are those days.
I’ve been having bad dreams, I think the dreams were getting worse. Sometimes I would wake
up out of breathe. I don’t know this woman I’m always seeing, I can’t see the face properly but I
always see a grey dress. That freaks me out. I haven’t told anyone.
Now I’m driving home. It’s been more than four months since I left home. I’m sure my family will
be happy to see that I’m driving my own car.
My younger brother, Lwazi was sitting outside. He was wearing his “krwala” clothing, he was a
man. I felt bad that I didn’t go to his ceremony. Transition from a boy to a man is the most
important stage of a xhosa guy. He was wearing his “krwala” clothing, when he saw this
unfamiliar car he stood up. I parked the car and I came out. I was wearing dark sunglasses, a
skinny jean, white blouse with puffs, the necklace Martin gave me, a wrist watch and stilettos. I
took off my sunglasses, I saw Lwazi removing his hat. He quickly ran inside the house. I took a
deep breathe and I went for the door. Just when I was about to enter the house, my mother
stood on the entrance.

“Nosipho Ndamase! Nguwe lowo? (Is that you?)”, my mother exclaimed.

“Ewe ndim mama (yes, it’s me mom)”, I said.
“Hintoni le imbi oyenzileyo mntanam? (What’s this bad thing you did my child?)”, my mother
asked.
“Bendifuna umsebenzi mama (I wanted a job mom) I’m sorry for leaving without consulting you”,
I said.
My mother cried.
“Uyazi bona into oyenzileyo? (Can you see what you did?” Umama ebekhathazekile ude walala
esibhedlele ngengxa yehigh blood pressure (Mom was worried she even slept at the hospital for
high blood pressure”, Lwazi said.
“I’m just happy that you’re back mntanam (my child). I didn’t think I will ever see you again.
You’ve missed a lot of things, your brother is even a man, woluka (circumcised)”, my mom said.
“I’m happy that you’re back, iphi impahla yakho? (Where are your clothes?)”, my brother asked.
“I brought a few clothes”, I said.
My mom looked at me, “Ngoba?” she asked. I didn’t know how I’ll tell her.
“I just came to visit”, I told her.
“Hayi! (No!) Nosipho”, my mom exclaimed. She thought I was back for good.

My brother took my suitcase that was in the car. My big brother, Bandile and my father, Wilfred
arrived. I could hear my brother’s skorokoro. My brother and father entered the house.
“Ufunantoni apha? (What do you want here?), my Bandile asked.
“Likhaya lakhe eli kaloku (This is her home too), my mom defended me.
“Why Nosipho? Sukwenzeni? (What did we do to you?)”, my father asked.
“Niks (nothing)”, I replied.
“Look at her, what are you wearing? Tight jeans and hideous shoes. This child is truly
possessed by the devil, she needs the pastor’s prayer”, said Bandile.
“Calm down, nyana (son)”, my father said to Bandile.
“She went to the evil city, she clearly breathed the evil air and she is evil. She needs to stand in
front of the congregation and admit her sin – “, my brother said.
“Woah, hima (wait) Bandile”, my mother said.
“The church will look at us funny, if we accept her, what will people say? Look at what she’s
wearing!” My brother shouted.
“What’s your problem? I forgot intloko yakho iqinile (hard-headed)”, my father said.
I felt like punching Bandile, he’s the one evil. What’s his problem?
My parents talked to me and I told them what I was up to in Johannesburg, I lied. My parents
were not quite impressed by my car or the money. It was like I was buying them.
I’m glad that I’m home. But I’m still having bad dreams.
Yep…
**********
In the morning, I woke up and I sat outside. The early morning sun was piercing my skin. I had a
hot cup of coffee in my hand. I watched the birds chasing each other in the sky, I smiled. As I
sat on the most uncomfortable chair in the world, I reminisced my childhood days. I could
remember my mother taking me to school for the first time. The other kids were crying but I
didn’t cry, I’ve been a hard nut since I was a young child. I had dreams, I wanted to be an
actress – a famous one. If you told the young me that I would end up like this, I would’ve
probably said you were insane – well, a psychopath, you know.
I went to Johannesburg with the hopes of making my life better and hopefully my family’s too. I
won’t lie though, life was good until I got involved with bad people. My pastor always preached
about the city being evil, the truth is: the city isn’t evil. Yes it isn’t, people corrupt the city. Well,
the city isn’t the only corrupt place. I don’t like how the pastor preaches about the city, he makes
it seem like the village is a perfect place. We also have corrupt people, the church itself is filled
with corrupt minds. Growing up, I’ve never loved my church. The people are very judgmental
and they think the world revolves around them. The church has brainwashed many people in
our village. One thing I will never do is stand in front of the congregation and apologise for going
to the “evil” city. If my parents are ashamed of me, then be it, I don’t care.
As I was thinking to myself, sipping coffee, I saw my friend Noluthando carrying a bucket of
water on her head. The village all of a sudden has scarce water, people now have to collect
water from the dam. I stood up and I went to her, I was delighted to see her. The last time I saw
her, she wasn’t talking to me.
“Noluthando, hi”, I greeted her.
“Nosipho you look so different”, she said.
“How are you?” I asked.
“I’m fine, when did you arrive?” She asked.
“Yesterday”, I replied.
“I didn’t see you”
“Where is Zimkhitha?”
“She’s married to a man from King Williams Town, she lives there now”
“Really?”
“Yes, she also has a baby”
“What? What happened to her boyfriend?”
“They broke up, her boyfriend impregnated another girl”
“Shame. So who married the prince?”
“Aneziwe, she’s from another village. You wouldn’t know her”
“Yes, I wouldn’t”
“So what happened in the city?”
“I looked for a job – ”
“And?”
“I’m an actress now”
“What? Nosipho, are you going to be on Generations now?”
“Not yet, but I’m still new. I have to learn first”
“Your parents were worried about you. I knew you left with that skinny girl”
“I just wanted a good life for me and my family”
“You look like you lived a good life. You have a visitor?”
“No”
“Oh, who’s car is that?”
“That’s my car”
“You’re lying! Nosipho, you’re such a liar!”
“Really! Come, I’ll show you”
“Nosipho!”
As I was going to my car, Noluthando’s mother called her, she screamed, “Noluthando! Hiza
apha wena!(Come here, you)”. Noluthando left, as she was leaving, she looked at me in the
eyes. I knew she will get into trouble. I waved goodbye.
I went inside the house and I began cleaning the house.
I’ve been away for too long.
**********
After cleaning, I used the water that was stored in a tank to wash.
After washing, I wore my pants – not a skirt or a dress. And I wore a red blouse with white polka
dots. My parents were waiting for me in our tiny lounge. I sat on the couch, my parents took
some time before saying a word. It was awkward. My father finally broke the silence.
“Nosipho, me and your mom were talking and we came to this following conclusion”, my father
said.
I looked at my mom, she looked away.
“Nosipho, you need to stand in front of the congregation and apologise on Sunday. You should
do this in order for the villagers to accept you”, he said.
“We love you Nosipho”, my mother added.
“Why should I apologise for something I didn’t do?” I asked.
My parents looked at each other.
“My child, you went to the city and the pastor always advice against that. You should apologise
for that”, my dad said.
“Why should we stay in this place forever? Look at this place, there are many opportunities
outside this place. I’m sorry but I don’t want to live my life wondering what if. Don’t tell me you
never dreamed of being somewhere besides here”, I said.
“You see? Nobesuthu you see? Hey child, why are you back chatting?”, my dad asked.
“I’m not back chatting, dad. I’m just saying”, I said.
“Look at what she’s wearing Nobesuthu”, my dad said.
“Sisi, you know we don’t dress like this in this village. Why are you making up your own rules?”,
my mom asked.

I could hear my brother’s skorokoro, I rolled my eyes.

“I’m not making up my own rules. I’m just wearing whatever I want”, I said.
“This is not the city, my child”, my mom said.
“What has the city taught you? To disrespect your parents? If you didn’t go to that bloody city
you could’ve been chosen to marry the prince. I could see the prince really liked you. You
messed that up, Nosipho”, my dad said. He was angry.
“I was looking at your car outside. What job did you say did?”, my big brother, Bandile asked.
“I’m an actress”, I replied.
“How much do they pay you?” Bandile asked.
“Enough”, I replied.
“That car looks expensive. An actress who just started acting can’t even afford that car. I’m just
saying”, Bandile said. He disappeared to the bedroom.
“My child, you have to stand in front of the congregation and apologise”, my mom said.
“If I don’t apologise?” I asked.
“You must, please my child. That’s the only thing that could save you from embarrassment”, my
mom pleaded.
My big brother came out of the bedroom, he was shirtless.
“If you don’t apologise then you should find a new family that will accept you. Nosipho, people
are talking. You have embarrassed us enough. You left home, people were asking, “Where is
Nosipho?” The prince even asked where you were. What example are you setting for the young
girls in this village? Nosipho you are an embarrassment”, my brother said.
“Woah! Bandile, she’s your sister”, my dad said.
“I didn’t know I had a sister. She was gone for too long. Tell us, where did you get the car? You
need prayers”, my brother shouted. He had a short temper.
“I worked for the car”, I said. I was holding myself from shouting.
“You worked for the car? How?” My brother asked. He was so angry, his chest was sweaty.
“Bandile, leave Nosipho alone”, my mother said.
“No mama, Nosipho deserves to be punished!”, my annoying big brother shouted.
“What’s your problem Bandile?” I asked, I was starting to show my true emotions.
“You are the problem Nosipho!” Bandile shouted.
“You have personal issues”, I said.
“I’ll beat you up right now!” He shouted.
My brother tried to hold me but my parents were quick to stop him. He was really strong, my
dad even fell because he was pushing them away. I stood up and I went outside. My younger
brother, Lwazi rushed in. I could hear my mother swearing Bandile. I couldn’t take it anymore, I
came inside and I told my parents to leave Bandile. I looked at Bandile in the eyes and said, “I
deserve punishment, beat me Bandile”. He looked at me and he went to the bedroom. When he
came out he was wearing a t-shirt. He said, “God will punish you, Nosipho” and he left with his
skorokoro.
I didn’t promise my parents anything. I don’t think I will apologise for something I didn’t do.
Mxm!

Part 17: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

The next morning, when I woke up, I heard the pastor’s voice. He was talking to my parents, oh
boy! I know what the conversation was about. I heard the pastor talking about shunning. Is he
being real? Shunning is something that USED to be practiced many years ago in our village.
Shunning is the use of social exclusion as method used to enforce church rules. Shunning
doesn’t end of all social interaction, but it does involve
 rituals that remind the wayward of their sin and seek to bring them back into fellowship. I didn’t
get out of my room, I heard my mother saying, “Ok Pastor, let me wake her up”. I quickly acted
like I was sleeping, I covered myself with blankets. My mom entered the room, she gently
stroked my hair. “Nosipho, wake up” she said. I woke up and she told me the pastor wants to
have a word with me. I went to the lounge.

The pastor was sitting on the couch opposite where my parents were seated. There was a cup
of tea and biscuits on the table, I sat on the single couch. The pastor took off his eyeglasses.
“My child, do you know why I’m here?” He asked.
“No”, I lied.
“My child, your parents were worried. You may know by now that people who leave this
community to go to the city, they suffer consequences”, he said.
“I know”, I said.
“If you know, why did you leave this place? Do you know what you brought to your family is
nothing but shame?”, the pastor expressed.
“I went to Johannesburg to look for a job. I want to provide for my family”, I said, defending
myself.
“That’s a lovely gesture my child but you do know that there are places you can find work here.
Anyway, a woman is not expected to work, your work as a woman is in the house. By cleaning
and cooking, you’ve done your bits”, he said.
Can you imagine? His mentality is so many years ago! This is a new world, things are done
differently. Why can’t women be independent? Why do we always have to do housework?
That’s totally sexist!
“I just wanted to do what was right for my family, although I did a wrong thing by leaving home”,
I said.
“I had a conversation with elders of the village, we think that shunning should be reintroduced in
this village. I’m sure your parents have told you what shunning is because they grew up in that
time of shunning”
“They told me”
“You have to confess your sin in front of the congregation on Sunday. Today is Friday, you
have a lot of time to think about what to say. No one will want to be associated with you, that’s
part of the process of being shunned”
I was boiling inside. The pastor later left. My parents didn’t talk to me, that’s when I knew that
the “shunning” process was underway. I couldn’t believe I came back to this? Silent treatment?
This is bullshit!
Proper bullshit!
**********
In the afternoon, I decided to take a walk. My friend wasn’t talking to me, the neighbours were
not talking to me and my family too were not talking to me. I felt alone, seriously, I choose being
in Johannesburg than here. As I was walking, I saw a little girl crying. I went to the girl, her face
was buried in her arms against the tree.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” I asked.
The little girl didn’t respond. I asked her again what was wrong. She still didn’t respond. Her
face was buried in her arms, I couldn’t see her face.
“Are you lost?” I asked.
She didn’t answer me. I gave up, I walked away.
“Nosipho! Nosipho! Nosipho!”, the girl screamed.
I stopped. She knows my name? I turned my back and I saw that woman. That woman I’ve
been seeing in my dreams and when I was awake. I just froze, in my mind I was saying, “Run
Nosipho” but my body was frozen. I looked at this woman, her face was painted black. I could
only see her white eyeballs popping, finally my body regained strength and I ran like a mad
woman. I was screaming, I could hear this woman chasing me.
I entered the house and I locked. My parents looked at each other. They couldn’t talk to me
because I was shunned. My mom opened her mouth as if she was going to say something. I
went to my room, I was shaking. I’m probably the most unlucky person in the world right now! I
laid on my bed. I tried thinking about my next move. Where do I go from here?
It’s too early for me to go back to Johannesburg. I don’t know if I must apologise for doing
something right. If I go back to Johannesburg, my church will probably not welcome me ever
again. I don’t want to end up with no one, at the moment I’m alone even though I’m at home.
People are giving me some silent treatment, shunning is a torture. My life was perfect, I don’t
know how it changed so fast. I was fooled by Raymond and Linda, Foxy and Mbali betrayed me,
Antonio broke up with me, Rashidi hates me, people aren’t talking to me back home, I must
apologise for doing something right and I’m being chased by a ghost. Why is this happening to
me? Is this my punishment for leaving home unexpectedly?
I spent the whole afternoon in my room, I just felt asleep. I had another dream, I can’t remember
everything but I remember being chased by that ghost. I ran into the railway and the train came
and I woke up. I was breathing heavily.
The room light was on and I saw a plate of food next to my bed. I feel like a prisoner in my own
home. When will this shunning end? I ate the food. My mom entered the room. “Lwazi is
sleeping in the lounge”, she said without maintaining any eye contact with me.
That night, the whole house was sleeping, I wasn’t sleepy because I slept in the afternoon. My
big brother has his own shack located in our backyard. His shack is right next to my bedroom. I
was bored, I decided why not peek. You know, I was sleepless, I just wanted to see if he was
asleep. I saw him getting entering his shack with some random girl. And this guy judges me?
Pathetic!
I went out of my room, I tippy toed out. My younger brother, Lwazi was asleep. He was snoring,
he’s a heavy sleeper. I could see my parent’s lights going off. I waited for a while before I tippy
toed to the door. My parents were having a conversation.
“Johannesburg is a big city”, I heard my mom saying.
“I’m sure Wiseman’s son is somewhere there. He left when he was 8 years old. His mother was
a drunkard, poor child”, my dad said.
“Do you think Wiseman’s son is still alive?”, my mom asked.
“Eish, I don’t know. I think Thandolwethu is still alive”, my dad said.
“How old is he now?”
“I think 27 or 28 years old”
“He was older than Bandile, I can remember. Yes! He was 2 years ahead of him. He’s 27 years
old”
“Yes, you’re right”
“Would you ever know him if you met him?”
“Yes, he looked like my brother a lot”

I tippy toed back to my room. Wiseman was my father’s big brother. Unfortunately, I never had
the chance to meet him because he died 19 years ago.
I slept perfectly afterwards. No bad dreams, nothing.
**********
It was a beautiful Saturday morning. I took a chair out and sat outside. I just love the morning
sun. I had my cup of coffee in my hand, I’m addicted to caffeine. As I was enjoying the morning
sun, my mom said I should go and fetch some water from the dam. I took a bucket and I went to
the dam. I think the time was about 9am.
I was a bit scared of finding the ghost lady waiting for me somewhere. Luckily I saw a group of
girls, they were laughing, pretty much having a good time. I did what I was there to do and I left
afterwards. The bucket was so heavy.
When I got home, I got a phone call from my agent, KG. He told me that he had a role for me
but I told him I was at home. He didn’t take it lightly, I finally convinced him that I will make it up
to him.
After cleaning the house I watched tv. I was so bored, I missed everything about Johannesburg.
I just wanted to leave but it was too early, I just needed to spend time with my family.
My father and brother arrived, they were at another village. My mother made them a cold drink,
it was hot.
“I don’t know what’s happening here Nobesuthu”, my dad said shaking his head.
“The tokoloshe are getting worse”, my brother said.
“The cows, sheep, goats, chickens, pigs, dogs, cats and donkeys are dying like flies. Whatever
this is, it’s really killing these animals. I’m afraid that we, humans are next”, my dad said.
I just sat there and watched tv, I could hear what they were saying, obviously.
That afternoon Dlamini came to visit my parents. I was laying on my bed when he was here. I
could hear everything they were talking about. Dlamini told my parents that there’s a mermaid
on the loose. He said that he once heard a mermaid crying. I don’t know what to make of this.
What if that ghost lady is actually a mermaid? But that’s a bit absurd.
Mermaids are not something new in this village. There’s a story of a girl who lived in my village
many years ago. The girl went to fetch some water from the dam, when she there, the mermaid
apparently took her. It didn’t kill her but she drowned there and her body was never found. Her
mother didn’t cry nor did she mourn. People say that her mother knew that her child was going
to be taken by the mermaid. There’s been news that the family was going through a series of
bad luck and they had to sacrifice their daughter. After their daughter was taken by the
mermaid, the family didn’t suffer from any bad luck anymore. The mother of the girl is alive but
she’s old. She lives near the village I went to for virginity testing. I would love to visit her. I want
to ask her questions about her daughter, what if she’s the woman I’m seeing? But I don’t
understand though, if she is the woman, why did she target me? I’m not even related to her. It’s
weird but it won’t be such a bad idea to find out, is it?
In the evening, my brother Lwazi came in the room and he gave me my food. I was a prisoner in
my own home. Pathetic! Just pathetic.
*sigh*
**********
It was the early wee hours of Sunday morning. I could feel my body frozen, I laid motionless on
my back. I was breathing heavily, I could feel my eyes rolling. I saw my mom opening the door, I
couldn’t talk. She didn’t turn on the lights, she stepped forward and I realised this wasn’t my
mom. This woman took slow steps towards me, I wanted to close my eyes, I didn’t want to see
this woman’s face. My eyes couldn’t close, my eyes were rolling, I couldn’t stop them. I wasn’t in
control of my body, I felt so weak. This woman stood there, she didn’t move. I felt like screaming
but I couldn’t even utter anything. My vision became blur. I managed to walk, I was so weak. I
reached for the door, I fell. I started crawling, I stretched my arm, I wanted to reach the door
handle. I couldn’t. I wanted to make a fist and bang the door as hard as I could. I couldn’t make
a full fist, I weakly banged the door.
I passed out on the floor.
In the morning I found myself on the bed. Maybe my mom or dad or younger brother lifted me to
my bed. Everyone was getting ready for church, my dad was already dressed.
“Thank you to anyone who lifted me off the floor”, I said.
I knew I wasn’t suppose to talk to my family because I was shunned.
My family looked at each other. My mom bit her lips, she wanted to respond.
“Thank you”, I said again.
“I was sleeping”, my mom responded. “Maybe it was your dad or Lwazi”, she added.
My dad shook his head in disagreement and my brother shrugged his shoulders. Maybe I don’t
remember myself getting up from the floor, I don’t know.
I had an important decision to make. Must I go to church and apologise for nothing or should I
just stay home and don’t go to church? I watched my family as they were getting ready for
church. I decided I will stay at home. My family finally left for church, they didn’t even ask if I
was going or not. I’m sure they saw that I wasn’t going since I wasn’t getting ready for church.
I had the house all to myself. I wonder what’s happening in Johannesburg. All I know is that
everyone is playing someone. My car has been parked outside ever since I was back home, it
was in the same position I parked it when I arrived. It looked abandoned, the windows were
dusty, the wheels had mud on them, it was just dirty. I went to check if the tank had water, it had
a small amount of water. I used the water to wash my face, armpits and private part. Afterwards
I decided to take a drive, I locked the door and placed the keys under a rock.
I drove to the village that’s situated near the virgin testing village. I had to ask people where
Mam’Ngwevu lives, they directed me.
**********
I arrived at Mam’Ngwevu’s house. Her house was painted white, it was shaped like an L. She
had a hut next to her house. There aren’t many people roaming around the village, maybe they
went to church? This village is famous for its witchcraft. It is believed that witches use a broom
and fly at night. It all sounds like a folk tale to me.

I knocked on Mam’Ngwevu’s door. She opened the door.

“Good morning”, I greeted her.
“Good morning”, she replied.
“Is this Mam’Ngwevu’s house?”, I asked.
“If I may ask who’s asking?”, she asked.
“Nosipho – Nosipho Ndamase”
“How may I help you?”
“Are you Mam’Ngwevu?”
“Yes”
“Okay, I would like to ask you a few questions”
“Come in”

I came in the house and I sat on the couch. It looked like she was alone.
“What questions do you want to ask me?”, she asked.
“Uhm…it’s about your daughter”, I said. I bit my upper lip, I was nervous. I didn’t know if she
would agree to help me.
“My daughter died 32 years ago”, she said.
“I’ve been seeing a woman – ”
“You’re having hallucinations”
“No, ma. That’s why I’m here, I want to make sure if I’m not seeing your daughter. I heard about
your daughter’s death – ”
“If my daughter could haunt someone, she would haunt anyone in this family. Why would she
haunt you?”
“I don’t know, that’s why I’m here. I want answers”
“Ndamase, I made peace with my daughter’s death in 1978”
“What was your daughter wearing the day she died?”
“I can’t remember – I forgot”
“Oh, just like you forgot to mourn?”
“Why would I mourn? The ancestors took her, she’s in a much safer place”
“Much safer place? Her bones are in the dam”
“No! She’s with her ancestors!”
“32 years? You lied to yourself for 32 years. Your daughter drowned to death, there wasn’t any
mermaid or – ”
“You don’t know the story, you weren’t even born at that time. Don’t come here and act above
me. You don’t know what happened”
“Of course I don’t”
“Do you know how hard it is for me? Till this day, I’m haunted by the incident. I can remember it
like it was yesterday”
“What happened?”
“The family was going through a hard time. My mother was a sangoma back then, a good one.
She saw her mother in a dream, her mother told her that there was going to be a storm. The
next day, there was a huge storm. Her mother appeared again in her dream, she told her that
the only way the family can reverse the curse is by sacrificing my daughter. Do you know how
hard it was for me? I told my daughter to fetch water from the dam, I knew she wasn’t coming
back. I remember hugging and kissing her – ”
“I can imagine the suffering you went through, Mam’Ngwevu”
“She was wearing a red dress and she was barefoot”
“The woman I’m seeing is wearing a grey dress”
“It can’t be Zoleka”
“I guess so”
“Maybe it’s someone from your family”
“Why would she hurt a family member?”
“Did you tell anyone about this?”
“No, you’re the first one to hear this”
“You should tell your family”
“I’m shunned back in my village”
“Oh? What did you do?”
“I went to the city”
“Or maybe someone from the city bewitched you”
“No, there’s not much witchcraft going on there, just money hungry people”
“Have you experienced any bad dreams?”
“Yes, plenty. Do you know how to interpret a dream?”
“Not really”
“I remember when I was in the city. I had a bad dream, I was driving in the dark. When I
stopped the car at the robots, my mother pointed a gun at me. What does that mean?”
“I don’t want to lie about that, I don’t know”
“Another bad dream I had in the city was seeing the young me opening a coffin. In the coffin
was me at this age. That’s weird, does that mean I’m going to die?”
“No, your dreams might be serious. You should talk to your parents”
“My parents? They won’t do anything, my mom will probably give me panado is sleep better”
“Or you should see a sangoma”
“My body was frozen this morning. I couldn’t move or talk. I saw a woman getting in my room,
at first I thought she was my mom. When she took a step forward, I realised it’s that ghost. She
disappeared, I managed to walk. I wanted to bang the door so bad but I was weak. I slept on the
floor but I woke up on my bed. I later found out that no one helped me. I don’t remember getting
up from the floor”
“These things aren’t normal, talk to your family”
“I will when I think it’s time. Thank you very much Mam’Ngwevu for your time”
“You’re welcome”
“I have to leave”
“Thank you for visiting me”
“No, thank you”

I left Mam’Ngwevu’s house. I’m now back at square one. I drove back to my village.
I spent the morning watching tv, I was just waiting for my family to get back.
*yawn*

Part 18: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

My family got back from church. My mom told me that the pastor wanted to have a word with
me. I quickly went to hear what the pastor had to say.
The pastor was waiting for me, his legs were crossed. A bible and eyeglasses were next to him.
When he saw me, he tried to crack a smile but it was just a half smile. You know, just a crooked
smile – if you understand.
“Good afternoon young lady”, the pastor greeted me.
It’s been a long time since I saw the inside of a church.
“Good afternoon pastor”, I greeted back.
“I see you didn’t use my advice”, he said.
I didn’t reply, I just looked down.
“Why didn’t you use my advice? Don’t you want your shunning to be lifted?”, he asked.
“I do”
“Then why didn’t you come to church?”
“I can’t promise myself and the people never to do something I’ll probably do”
“In other words you don’t trust yourself?”
“I do but – ”
“You don’t believe in yourself?”
“I do, pastor. It’s just that – I can’t stay here forever. I want to experience the world, I want to
meet more open-minded people. Isn’t that what life is about? I can remember a poem I did back
in school, it talked about how life was a journey. If you never been anywhere else besides the
place you were born in, then you never experienced life”
“I’ve been through the good and worse, I’ve experienced more than you”
“You may have but there’s more to experience outside this huge fence”
“Fence?”
“Yes, this place is like a fenced area. Well, fence represents exile”
“I grew up in this place, with these rules. You should’ve adapted by now”
“Times are different, pastor”
“What are you saying?”
“Things are done differently”
“What does the city teach people? Nothing!”
“There are more jobs in the city than in this place. What does that say about the city?”
“The city is a dangerous and evil place – ”
“Isn’t this place dangerous and evil too?”
“No”
“What about the witchcraft that’s been happening?”
“I don’t know, the city is more dangerous and evil than the rural area”
“Pastor, you’re over exaggerating”
“Mind your words young girl. You should be ashamed of the unnecessary attention you brought
your family. You are shunned, you were suppose to admit your sin in front of the congregation, if
you did, we wouldn’t be talking”
“Am I the only person sinful?”
“No but that doesn’t make what you did a good thing”
“Pastor, there’s not a chapter or verse in the bible that says traveling is a sin”
“It’s not about traveling”
“Then what is it about?”
“Why are you so stubborn? You only want to listen to yourself and no one else, that’s why you
went to the city. This pastor is stupid? This pastor is stupid?”
“You’re not stupid – ”
“Then why?”
“I don’t want to be involved with this church anymore. That’s the only way I can lift my
shunning”
“Have you told your parents?”
“No”
“Why not?”
“I’m shunned, remember?”
“Drop the attitude, young girl”
“I’m sorry”
“People won’t care about you anymore. You chose this, you have to face it – on your own. You
can do as you like, just know that you’re not allowed here anymore. Remember, it was your
choice”
“What’s going to happen with my family?”
“Nothing, they can choose what to do with you”
“Will they communicate with me?”
“They have to make that decision, it’s up to them”
“I do care about my family, pastor. I want the best for them”
“I pray God shows you the right path”
“This is the right path”
“I would love to have a word with your parents. Kindly let them know, that’s it for now”
“Okay, thanks”
I left. I felt a bit free but I don’t know how my parents will take it.
I rushed home and I told my parents that the pastor would love to speak to them.
30 minutes later.
My parents came home. I looked at them, I was trying to see their reaction. “The pastor told us
about your decision”, my dad said.
I heard my brother’s skorokoro. Here comes trouble!
“I was waiting for the right time to tell you”, I said.
“But my child, why didn’t you tell us?”, my mom asked.
“I was going to tell you”, I said.
“When?”, my mom asked.
“I’m sorry”, I apologised.
“You’re sorry? Aren’t you suppose to be apologising to the congregation?”, my annoying brother
asked.
“I’m not talking to you”, I said. I was so irritated with him.
“I’m talking to you”, he said. He took a seat.
“Bandile, can you give us some time?”, my dad pleaded.
“Don’t worry dad, I wasn’t going to stay for long. I can’t stand the smell of a rotten potato”, my
brother said, as he looked me in the eye.
He left.
I discussed my decision with my parents, I made them understand my reasons. They told me
they understand but they don’t condone it. I was happy that they were cool about it, well,
obviously they’re not cool about it but I’m rather glad that they’re understanding.
I miss Johannesburg.
**********
One week later.
Not much has been happening in my life. What I’m happy about is that my friend is talking to
me, although her mother doesn’t like the idea since I’m a “disgrace”. My parents have been
talking about Thandolwethu a lot, I don’t know how they will find him if they’re stuck in the
village. I think they should just stop going to church, that’s just my opinion. If you don’t go to that
stupid church then you won’t follow those stupid rules. Johannesburg is a big city, where will
they find Thandolwethu? They don’t even have a picture of him! Looking for this Thandolwethu
will be like looking for a needle in a hay stack.
Regarding my nightmares, I’ve not been having any bad dreams but I saw the ghost just once. I
was sweeping the yard and I saw the ghost hiding behind a tree. She hid there for like 30
seconds, it’s creepy. I don’t want to tell my family because they’ll think everything is happening
because I went to the city.
I’ve been getting numerous phone calls from my agent, he’s really angry. He even threatened to
drop me if I didn’t come to Johannesburg as soon as possible. That’s why I’m leaving for Jozi.
My younger brother, Lwazi helped me with my suitcase. He carried my suitcase to the car. I’m
happy that I went home and that I gave them money. I’m sure the money will last them for a
while. The only money I have is for petrol and food.
I kissed and hugged my family. Except for Bandile, he wasn’t home – even though he was at
home, I wouldn’t have hugged him. At least this time I’m leaving in a right manner. I got into my
car, my family were waving. I drove away, as I was driving I saw my friend carrying a bucket of
water. I slowed the car and I said goodbye to her, although I did say my goodbyes a few hours
ago.
I drove to Johannesburg. I was excited to be out of that place but I was nervous on what I’ll find
there. I mean, I don’t know what’s been going on there. Mbali is cold towards me, she doesn’t fill
me in on what’s happening.
I stopped at a few garages to fuel my car.
Jozi here I come…
**********
I arrived in Johannesburg in the morning at about 8am. I parked my car outside Glam’s
apartment. His curtains were closed and the apartment didn’t have much activity going on. The
door was shut. Maybe he was sleeping or not home – he’s such a party animal! I knocked on
the door, no answer. When I knocked the second time around, he opened the door.
“Were you sleeping?”, I asked him.
“Yes, you’re back?”, he asked.
“Yes I am”, I said as I made my way in.
“For good?”, he asked.
“Are you tired of me?”, I asked playfully.
“Of course not. I was going to give you a call”, he said.
“Oh? What were you going to say? Oh shit! I nearly forgot my suitcase”, I said as I rushed to get
my suitcase that was in my car.
I received a phone call from my agent, he wanted to see me ASAP. I dragged my suitcase
inside the house, Glam offered to help – so nice of him.
“So you didn’t tell me what you were going to say”, I said.
“My friend from Cape Town recently landed in Jozi. He wants me to stay with him”, he said.
“So what’s gonna happen next?”, I asked.
“I’m moving in with him. I won’t pay rent, how cool is that? I just feel sorry for you, are you going
to rent this apartment all by yourself?”, he asked.
“I don’t have that much money”
“Find yourself a job or a person to share the apartment with”
“I’ll make a way”
“I’m sorry”
“It’s alright, Glam”
“So, how was the village?”
“Okay”
“Okay?”
“Yeah, there’s not much going on”
“I also wish I can get away from all the Joburg noise and be in a quiet area with great scenery.
The rural areas might have bad roads and bad networks but the mountains, the vegetation, the
huts – it’s just a perfect painting. Isn’t it?”
“Yep”
“Now that’s relaxation!”
Glam is a hyperactive gay man with a brain full of pink glitter.
I took a quick shower before heading to a meeting with my agent. I won’t lie, I didn’t have a lot of
money in the bank and I had to save money and make money. At least I gave my parents
money, that’s all I wanted to do – I wanted to provide – my heart is at peace. I went to meet up
with my agent, he wasn’t a happy man.

“I’ve been calling you, texting you, what’s the point of having a cellphone?”, my agent asked
angrily.
“I’m sorry, my phone was on and off, plus the network there is bad”, I defended myself.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving? I’m your agent, I’m suppose to know these things”,
KG addressed.
“I’m sorry”, I apologised.
“You better be. Look, a director approached me. He’s looking for an actress to play a daughter
of a priest. The auditions are happening today at 3pm, do you think you’ll be able to make it?”
“Yeah”
“I’ll send you the address. The director said you killed your role as a stripper on your first movie.
He would love to work with you”
“That’s nice to hear”
“You know what? I have his number on speed dial. Let me give it to you”
KG reached down to his pocket and he took out his cellphone. He gave me the director’s phone
number, I was happy that the director was satisfied with my work.
I had a conversation with KG about my acting career. He later left.
I was looking at my phone when I heard a familiar voice. When I looked up, I saw King Pin. He
saw me and he came towards me.
“Hey beautiful, where have you been?”, he asked.
“Why do you care?”, I asked.
“Come on, show King some love. No hello or hi?”, he asked as he came close to my face like he
was going to kiss me.
I pulled back and I mumbled, “Hi”.
“We should hook up, you know what I’m saying? We should”, he said.
I laughed.
“What’s funny? Share the joke”, he said. He took the chair and he sat right next to me.
“Nothing”, I said.
“I kinda like you”, he said.
“Oh please! You’re high”
“Why do you always say I’m high when I express my emotions?”
“King Pin has a heart?”
“Hell yeah! What do you say?”
“About?”
“Us”
“Nothing”
“Like, you don’t even like me?”
“I don’t hate you either”
“I’m keeping it real. Ever since I saw you – ”
“Oh please! Remember you told me you never liked me, it was just lust? Remember?”
“Maybe I was high that day, don’t lie. Why can’t I remember that?”
“Are you sure you’re not high right now?”
“Of course not. If I was high I wouldn’t remember that steamy sex we had”
“I don’t want to remember that night. It was just so wrong”
“But you enjoyed it”
“Whatever”
“Nosipho, when I think about that steamy sex we had, I cum”
“Get out of here”
“Really, can we hook up?”
“Hook up and do what?”
“You know”
“Okay, bye King Pin – I’m leaving”
“Wait, wait, wait. Give me a chance”
“I don’t want to”
“Everyone deserves a second chance”
“Some people aren’t worth a second chance”
“People like me, right?”
“Wow, you’re so smart after all”
“Okay Nosipho, don’t insult me. What do you want from me?”
“Nothing, what do you want from me?”
“I want you”
“Oh well, you can’t have me”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t want anything to do with you”
“Are you seriously going to leave me hanging?”
“Watch me”
“I would love to watch you leave, I like what I see but please, don’t go”
“Leave me alone King Pin”
“One date, please”
“What are you up to?”
“Nothing, I just feel you”
“Feel me? What the fuck?”
“You know what I mean”
“Bye King Pin”
“Nosipho? Nosipho? Nosipho?”

I left him hanging, I always knew he was obsessed with me.

Hahaha…
**********
KG sent me the address to the auditions. Before I drove to this location, I went to fuel my car.
After fueling my car, I quickly went inside the shop to buy airtime. When I came out I saw
Raymond leaning against my car.
“It looks as good as new. I have to admit, you’re doing a good job”, he said.
“What are you doing here?”, I asked.
“I just stopped by to buy airtime and I saw your car. I have to do a lot of phone calls now that I
have a wedding coming up”, he said.
“Alright, can you please move I want to get into my car”
“Have you thought about it?”
“I told you before, I’m not interested in helping you”
“Why?”
“We had this talk before, are you deaf?”
“So you’re not helping me?”
“I guess you’re retarded too”
“Why do you hate me so much?”
“Raymond, I don’t hate you”
“Why don’t you want to help me?”
“Because I have a choice”
“Okay, thanks for nothing anyway”

I stood there and I watched his disappointed self enter the shop. He thinks he can control every
girl with the promise of money, I’m not that girl. So I drove away because I didn’t want to be late
for my audition.
I’m sure KG put in a good word for me. When I arrived at the auditioning venue, I didn’t see a lot
of people. I went inside the building and I saw a few people. The director told me what to do, I
took a mini script and I learned the lines.
The casting director signaled me and I began acting in front of the camera. I was doing well until
I stopped, I saw the ghost. I closed my eyes, when I opened them the ghost was gone. I redo
my audition, I hope it was good enough for me to get the part. I drove back to the apartment.
I saw a letter from the landlord, the rent was increasing. How am I suppose to pay that amount
since I’ll be staying alone? The deposit is ridiculously high, this is hideous! I went to pay the
landlord a visit.
“Mr, why are you increasing the rent?”, I asked.
“It’s about time”, he said.
“You’re going to lose tenants”, I said.
‘I haven’t increased the rent money in two years, it’s about time. It’s not cheap to maintain this
building”, he pathetically explained himself.
“The deposit money is too high!”
“If you can’t afford the rent, move out. I’m sure many people would love to move in”
I left angrily. I knew I had to move out, I had no choice but where will I go?
For some weird reason, I drove my car to King Pin’s club. I haven’t been there in a while now.
I went to his office. His door was wide open, he was surprised to see me.
“Are you looking for a job? Because I don’t have any open positions”, he said.
“No, I’m not looking for a job”, I said.
“Then why are you here?”, he asked. He stood up and closed the door.
“Maybe I gave you a bit of a tough time”, I said sympathetically.
“If you’re here to apologise, I don’t need your sympathy”
“No – I think you deserve a second chance”
“What took you so long?”
“I don’t know”
“Come on, Nosipho, what do you want?”
“Nothing. I want to give you a second chance. We can go to your silly date – once”
“It’s not a silly date. Can I take you out tonight?”
“Sho”
“I don’t dress up for dates”
“I wasn’t planning to dress up for this date, King Pin”
“Okay, can we meet at Eat-alian Buzz?”
“That’s Antonio’s restaurant”
“Do you have a problem with that?”
“Of course not”
“Meet me there at 7”
“Okay”
“Sharp”
“Bye”

I left King Pin’s club. I was desperate, I needed cash. I later retired to my apartment, I had to
find a more affordable flat.
Yoh!
**********
I didn’t dress up, I just wore my pair of skinny jeans, sneakers and blouse. I drove to Eat-alian
Buzz.
King Pin wasn’t there, so I waited for him. I saw Martin entering the restaurant, he saw me and
smiled.
“Long time no see”, he said opening his arms for a hug.
“I went to visit my family”, I said as I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him.
“Okay, you look good”, he complimented.
“Thank you”, I said.
“Are you waiting for someone?”, he asked.
“Yes”, I replied.
“Can I take a seat with you?”
“Yeah, why not? Take a seat”
“I’m sorry about your failed relationship”
“These things do happen”
“Isn’t it weird that you’re here in his restaurant”
“It’s a bit weird but why must I hide from him?”
“I know, right?”
“So how are things going between you and Foxy?”
“We broke up”
“What?”
“Yes”
“What happened?”
“We fought all the time, I was getting tired of her nagging”
“I’m really sorry”
“Plus she works longer hours compared to the hours she used to work as a stripper. We never
really talked much, doesn’t sound like a relationship, does it?”
“I guess yes. You’ll get back to the dating scene in no time, don’t worry”
“I don’t know, hey. So, who are you waiting for?”
“A friend”
“Okay. Look, we should hang out and catch up”
“Sounds good to me”
“Your relationship with Antonio might be screwed but you both are still my friends. I have a
house party coming up this weekend, on Saturday. You can come by”
“Can I bring anything?”
“No, no, no, not at all. Just bring yourself”
“Oh, okay”
King Pin entered the restaurant, he was wearing the same clothes he wore when I visited him.
Not that I complain. I know he doesn’t get along with Martin, I hope they don’t cause a scene.

“Sorry I’m late. I had to take care of some business”, King Pin apologised.
“No problem”, I said.
“Why are you sitting with this fucking fool?”, King Pin asked.
“He’s my friend”, I defended Martin.
“Who’s a fool, you fool? So you were waiting for this bitch ass nigga?”, Martin asked.
“He’s also my friend, Martin. Just chill guys. Uhm, Martin? I think you can leave now”, I said.
King Pin and Martin stared at each other. Martin stood up, he looked at me, I looked down. “I
lost my appetite anyway”, he said. King Pin sat down and he smiled arrogantly.

“What was that about?”, I asked, I was pissed.

“Calm your clit, I was just being real”, he said arrogantly.
“Why do you say you’re being real when you’re being rude?”
“I wasn’t being rude. I’m suffering from a rare disease known as realist, I can’t help it. Let’s stop
talking about that shit, can we?”
“Whatever”
“Tonight is going to be a good night”
“I hope so”
“You hope so? Fuck that shit, hell yeah! It’s going to be a fucking good night, excuse the pun.
See what I did there?”
“Huh?”
“Fucking good night? Fucking good night?”
“What?”
“F-U-C-K-I-N-G good night. The emphasis is on fucking”
“Whatever”
“I can’t wait to lick your nipples. And eat you p- ”
“Shut up. Can’t you have a mature conversation for once?”
“You interrupted me. Eat your pussy. Anyway, what do you want to talk about?”
“Never been to a date?”
 “I’ve been to a date. It might be a long time but hell yeah, I’ve been to a fucking date. Fucking
date, fucking date – see what I did there?”
“Can we order?”
“Now?”
“Yes”
“Okay. WAITRESS!!!”
“Don’t need to shout”
“What is this? A library? Relax your tits”
King Pin was being so annoying. The waitress came and we ordered.

“Why are you acting like you lived in the bush for a long time and you just met people?”, I asked.
He laughed.
“Come on, I’m not that bad”, he said.
“Tell me a bit more about yourself”, I said.
“I don’t like talking about myself”, he said.
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want to talk about myself. This is just too serious”
“What’s serious?”
“This talking about yourself shit. Feels like I’m in an interview”
“I don’t really know you that much”
“You will know me along the line”
“Why do you have many girlfriends? Don’t they get jealous? Do they live in the same house?”
“Too many questions”
“Answer me”
“I love bitches and bitches love them some King Pin”
“You can’t treat a girl like a bitch”
“I love bad bitches”
“Do you know that a bitch is a female dog. What are you trying to say about girls?”
“Girls call each other bitches. Some girls call themselves bad bitches but when a guy calls a girl
a bitch, why does she get mad? Why are girls like that?”
“I don’t know”
“No, you do know. Is it some girl code?”
“No”
“Yes, it is. Why do girls ask money to do their hair. A week later they ask money again to do
their hair?”
“I don’t know”
“No, you girls are tricky”
“Men are also tricky. Tell me. Why do guys like going after a girl that doesn’t want anything to
do with them? Men are like dogs, they just like chasing”
“Men love a challenge. We like what we can’t have”
“Why?”
“It’s like studying for a big test and passing. It feels good because you know that you gave your
best. If you copied the test and passed. What have you achieved? It’s just a freeby, you
convince yourself that you deserved it”
“Hmm, okay. I didn’t know you were smart, no offence”
“Are you kidding me? I’m a smart man”
The waitress came with our food. We thanked her.

“I kinda like you, hey. I know I’ve told you this a million times but it’s true”, he said.
“I don’t know what to believe anymore”, I said.
“You think I’m lying?”, he asked.
“I don’t think you’re lying”
“Do you believe me when I say I kinda like you?”
“King Pin, I would love to believe you – ”
“But?”
“But, you’re saying you kinda like me. Are you sure you like me?”
“I’m not good at expressing how I feel. I’m a gangster, I’m used to thug love”
“King Pin, you’re a teddy bear trapped in a character. Your real name isn’t King Pin”
“The food is good”
“Don’t change the topic. Why are you even surrounded by many girls? Why are you trying to be
a thug? I know you’re a nice guy, not everyone who does the business you do has to be a
hardcore, heartless person. Look at Martin, he’s a cool guy”
“I’m not Martin, I’m King Pin”
“No, you’re not King Pin – your mother didn’t name you King Pin”
“Do you think a date with you will make me change my life? What do you want me to do? Do
you want me to wear suites, turn my strip club to a children’s day care, go to church, donate my
money to charity and be friends with everyone?”
“Of course not”
“Leave me alone then!”
“I didn’t mean to get you upset”
“Jeez! ‘Look at Martin, he’s a cool guy’ cool guy my foot. Is that why you don’t like me? You
have your eyes on Martin?”
“Martin is my friend”
“Have you guys fucked?”
“Of course not! How could you even think of such a thing?”
“I like you, am I committing a crime?”
“You don’t have to be aggressive”
“I’m not a smooth guy”
“You like me, then what?”
“I want to see where things go between us”
“You have more than three girlfriends”
“They’re not even my girlfriends, they’re my girls”
“What difference does that make?”
“I’m single”
“Oh wow, all of a sudden?”
“I’m not dating those girls, I don’t want to talk about them. Did I admit to dating all of them?”
“No but you said you have many girls, remember?”
“Did I say I was dating them? No! I probably said that to make you jealous”
“Whatever, King Pin”
“I like you, that’s all”
“What do you like about me?”
“Your beauty, your attitude and everything about you”
“Let’s just eat King Pin”
I need King Pin’s help, hence me accepting to come to this date. A horrible date, if I may add.
Jeez!

Part 19: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

I didn’t know where to start, I wanted to ask King Pin for some cash – I was going to pay him as
soon as I get back up on my feet.

“Uhm – I need your help”, I said with a breaking voice.

“How may I help you?”, he asked as he chewed his food.
“I need cash, King Pin”, I said.
He was quiet, he didn’t answer me.
“What do you say?”, I asked, I was at the edge of my seat.
“I mean…er…how much do you want?”, he asked.
“Ten grand”, I said.
He was quiet again.
“Talk to me, King Pin”, I said.
“All of a sudden you want my help”, he said.
“I’m desperate. I don’t even have a place to stay because I’m moving out tonight. I need at least
somewhere to crash in, like a hotel”, I said.
“Hotels are expensive. Let’s say I borrow you this ten grand, you’re going to pay for one night
and it’s costly. It really is costly, you’ll be left with a small amount. What happens afterwards?”,
he asked.
“I don’t know, find a flat to rent perhaps?”
“Then what will happen after that?”
“I don’t know, okay? I’ll look for a job”
“I can’t borrow you the ten grand. You can come crush at my house, I wouldn’t mind”
“What?”
“You heard me – come on Nosipho, you don’t have a place to stay. Plus you won’t pay rent or
worry about buying food”
“What’s the catch?”
“Nothing”
“Come on King Pin, I know you want something”
“Let me just say, I’ll scratch your back, you scratch mine”
“I don’t know”
“Take it or leave it, let’s just shake on it”
“Okay”
We shook hands. I don’t know what I’m getting myself into but hey, at least I have a place to
live.
After the date, King Pin begged me to kiss him. I did – after that I drove to my apartment and I
took my suitcases. I gave the keys to the landlord, I should’ve thrown the keys at him. I drove to
King Pin’s house, he had a towel wrapped around his waist.

“Welcome to your new home”, he said.

“Thank you”, I said. His house is beautiful.
“Make yourself at home, I’m going to shower now. Behave yourself”, he said with a wink.

He went to the bathroom. A few minutes after he entered the bathroom, he received a text
message. His cellphone was laying neglected on the sofa. I curiously opened the message, it
was from Foxy. The message read, “We are out of flake”. I deleted the message.

Minutes later King Pin got out of the bathroom. I heard someone knocking, I went to answer the
door.
I opened the door and Foxy was crossing her arms.
“What do you want here?”, she asked. She was surprised to see me there.
“What are you doing here?”, I asked her.
“It’s none of your business”, she said. “I want to speak to King Pin. Is he home or what?”, she
asked.
“King Pin!”, I shouted.
King Pin didn’t come, I closed the door – she was outside, I could see her rolling her eyes. I
went to King Pin, he was putting on his clothes.
“Foxy wants to talk to you”, I told him.
“Oh? Is she in the kitchen?”, he asked.
“No, she’s outside”, I replied.
“Tell her to come in”, he said.
I crossed my arms and I stared at him.
“What?”, he asked.
“Whatever”, I said as I walked away.
I opened the door and Foxy came in.
King Pin and Foxy talked softly in the lounge, I was making myself something to eat in the
kitchen. King Pin told me to bring a jar of juice and two glasses. I was so pissed, am I his
waitress now? I brought the jar filled with juice and two empty glasses and I placed them on the
table.
After eating I went straight to bed. King Pin, Foxy and another guy were in the lounge talking.
Oh well…
**********
I woke up early in the morning at 7:30am. I was frying some eggs when King Pin came to the
kitchen.
“You disappeared last night”, he said.
“I went to sleep”, I said.
“Okay”, he said. He poured himself some juice.
“Judging by the way you guys were loud, I would you guys had some fun last night”, I said.
“Yeah, we did. You should’ve joined us”
“I don’t really get along with Foxy”
“You sacrificed a good night because of some stupid bitch beef?”
“Hey! It’s not a bitch beef and it’s not stupid”
“Whatever, to me it’s stupid. Weren’t you guys like, the best friends in the whole wide world or
some shit?”
“Yeah, once upon a time”
“What happened?”
“Trust me, you don’t want to know”
“That’s why I’m asking. So what really happened?”
“I don’t really wanna talk about it”
“Oh?”
“What’s up with you and Foxy?”
“Foxy works at my club”
“No, I know that. I mean, between you guys”
“You think we’re dating?”
“You tell me”
“Wow, why do you care?”
“She broke up with Martin. Are you the reason for that break up?”
“Martin is a pussy, he can’t even keep a girl. I wish I was the reason for the break up just to
shove it in his face. That nigga is a bitch ass nigga”
“So you weren’t the reason behind the break up?”
“No. I’ve always known you wanted me, baby girl, relax. I’m not dating Foxy, relax baby”
“Me? Want you? That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time”
“You can act all you want, I know you like me. Just don’t fall hard, okay?”
“You’re insane”
“You make me insane”
“Shut up”
“Make me”
“Whatever. Leave me alone, I don’t want to burn my eggs”
“Can I have some?”
“Eggs?”
“Or is there anything I can have either than eggs?”
“Of course not”
“Yeah, eggs”
“Make your own eggs”
“What? Nosipho, are you seriously side lining me?”
“Watch me”
“Baby girl, you’re so heartless”

King Pin went to shower. After that he left.

I decided to visit Martin. I owe him an apology for last night, King Pin was rude to him. I drove to
his house. I saw Antonio’s car parked outside his car, awkward. I didn’t want to enter Martin’s
house anymore, I waited for Antonio to leave Martin’s house. I saw them talking, Martin was
walking Antonio out. I decided to step out of the car, Antonio will see my car anyway. Why must
I hide?
I went out of my car, I could tell Antonio was shocked to see me.
“Hey boys”, I greeted them.
“Hey”, they both said.
“I was about to leave. I’ll e-mail you that document, pal. It’s good seeing you around, Nosipho”,
said Antonio and he left.
“What are you doing here?”, asked Martin. He didn’t seem happy to see me.
“You’re my friend, remember?”, I expressed.
“Are you sure? Because yesterday you were King Pin’s friend”, he said.
“Come on Martin, I’m your friend”, I said.
“I can’t believe you were waiting for that jerk. Was that a date?”
“King Pin is just a friend”
“Hey, it’s your choice anyway. I can’t hand pick who you should or shouldn’t hang with”
“Aren’t you going to invite me inside?”
“No, I was about to leave”
“Okay? Look, I just came to apologise about yesterday. You didn’t deserve it”
“It’s cool”
“Really Martin, I’m really sorry. You’re a cool guy, King Pin is a – ”
“Jerk?”
“He is a troublemaker”
“Hey, I wish you and King Pin a happy life. My bad, he’s just a troublemaker. That’s all he is”
“You’re my friend”
“I didn’t say I wasn’t”
“I’m sorry”
“I said it’s cool. I forgive you”
“I can make it up to you”
“You don’t need to, Nosipho”
“I know you’re angry at me”
“No, I’m not”
“Cool”
“Cool”
“See you when I see you, Martin”
“Alright – cool. I have to leave immediately, I have an important meeting with a client”
“Okay, travel safely”
“Alright, bye”
“Bye”

I got into my car and I drove away. I decided to visit Kwame. I know it’s crazy but I miss some of
Raymond’s friends.
Please don’t judge me.
**********
I drove to Kwame’s place.
I stepped out of my car and I went to knock on his door. There was a lot of noise going on
inside. Luckily Adelphe came to answer the door.
“No ways! Yo, Kwame, it’s Nosipho!”, Adelphe shouted.
I could hear Kwame in the background saying, “Don’t lie”
“Come in, stranger”, said Adelphe.
“Thanks”, I said as I entered the house.
Adelphe led me to the lounge. There was Kwame, Hakeem, Uche, Rashidi, Mbali and some
random girl. When the boys saw me, they chanted, “Nosi! Nosi! Nosi!”, except for Rashidi.
“Where have you been?”, Hakeem asked.
“I’ve been around but for the past weeks I’ve been at my parent’s house”, I replied.
The lounge was smokey, there was a hubbly bubbly on the table, cigarettes and lighters too.
These people were having a smoking party.
“It’s been too long man, don’t ever do that shit again”, Uche said.
“I won’t”, I promised.
“You need to try this”, Kwame said, as he handed me the hubbly bubbly.
“Uh…”, I stuttered.
“We won’t take no for an answer. After disappearing on us for months, you need to make it up to
us. Just inhale and exhale”, said Kwame.
Do I have a choice? I inhaled and exhaled.

I won’t lie, the vibe was good. It’s good to be a kid again and stop worrying about something.
Mbali still haven’t talked to me. She doesn’t really say much. I later learned that the random girl
was Hakeem’s girlfriend, Nikita. She seems like a nice girl.
I had fun at Kwame’s house. I left and I went to meet up with my agent because I received an
important message from him saying he wants to see me because it was urgent.
KG was already waiting for me.
“Sorry for keeping you waiting”, I apologised.
“This isn’t something new”, said KG.
“I’m sorry”, I Apologised again.
“The reason why I called to meet you is because I had a phone call from the director of the last
movie you auditioned for…”
“And?”
“I’m sorry to tell you that you weren’t chosen”
“What? How?”
“I don’t know, I wasn’t there when you auditioned”
“Did they tell you why they didn’t choose me?”
“No”
“You should’ve asked”
“Nosipho, look, what you need to do is just work on your acting. You need to grow as an
actress, this is part of growth”
“Not being chosen for a role isn’t part of growth. I feel like a total loser! Who did they choose?
Because those girls weren’t good”
“Hey, you’re not a loser. You can’t win everytime”
“I’m used to winning”
“Well, you should get used to losing as well”
“I need to go have a word with the director. He obviously made a mistake”
“Don’t – trust me, you don’t want to go there”
“I do”
“You’ll make a total fool out of yourself”
“I’m just going to ask nicely”
“I don’t care, don’t do it. Listen to me, I’m your agent. If there wasn’t failure, we wouldn’t enjoy
the fruits of success. You tried your best, Nosipho. Just because you didn’t get that role doesn’t
mean you’re a loser”
“KG, do you think I have what it takes to be a famous actress?”
“It doesn’t matter what I say. Do you think you have what it takes?”
“I think so”
“Then I can’t argue with that”
“I thought I was going to get the role. I really thought I was getting the role. Well, I didn’t”
“Many doors will close and many will open. When you’re a successful actress, you’ll be sitting
with your rich friends, telling them how hard it was to reach where you are…”
“I’m starting to doubt myself, KG”
“Just remind yourself why you wanted to be an actress”
“Yep”
“This is only the beginning. You have to prepare yourself for the worse”
“Yeah, I know”
“Are you good?”
“Yes, thank you”
“This is part of my job”
“How come I don’t know much about my agent?”
“What do you need to know about me? I’m just an agent, I’m here to make people’s dreams
come true”
“Who makes your dreams come true?”
“Seeing my people successful”
“Okay”
“I want my daughter to have a great life. I want her to have everything I didn’t have. I want to
provide for my family”
“Oh sweet man. What’s your daughter’s name?”
“Boitumelo”
“Nice name. How old is she?”
“A year and a half”
“Cool, do you live with her?”
“She lives with her mom but we’re all planning to move in together by the end of this week. I
bought a house”
“Wow, amazing. Your mom must be really proud of you”
“Well, yeah, my mom has been really supportive. My mom and my girlfriend have been really
supportive, they’ve been with me through my darkest days”
“That’s great”
“Uhm…What about your family?”
“My family is okay”
“Just okay?”
“Yep”
“Do you have any siblings?”
“Yeah, two brothers”
“So, you’re the only girl?”
“Yep”
“Damn, don’t your brothers gang up on you?”
“They used to but they’ve grown up now”
“Are you the oldest or youngest?”
“I’m in the middle”
“Alright…middle…I had two siblings too”
“Had?”
“My big brother passed away five years ago, I’m left with my older sister, Tshidi”
“I’m so sorry”
“Nah – it’s okay”
“At least I know something about you”
“Same here”
“You’re a good agent”
“Hmm…I don’t get that quite a lot but I’ll take it and run with it”
“Until you get angry…”
“Ha!”
“Uhm…if there’s anything – ”
“Nah, I’m done”
“Okay, thanks for your wise words”
“No problem”
“Bye”
“Bye”
I had a great chat with KG, he’s a nice guy. I love the fact that he loves his family, that’s a real
man right there. I’m lucky to have him as my agent. I drove to my new home.
**********
I was curled up on the couch, reading a magazine and glancing at the tv every chance I got.
King Pin entered the house. He looked tired, he threw himself on the couch and closed his eyes.
There was silence, I didn’t know whether to ask how his day was or just carry on reading the
magazine. He opened his eyes, he was laying on his back. He turned his head to where I was
seated, “I had a meeting with Antonio, guess who’s my new partner for this new project”, he
said. I didn’t know who to name.
“Uhm…I don’t know. Tell me”, I said.
“It’s mother fucking Raymond. It’s that nigga Raymond man”, he said unpleasantly.
“That’s awkward”, I said – my face was just written: SURPRISED.
“I don’t like this nigga Raymond but I will try and maintain my composure because there’s a lot
riding on this one. I can’t jeopardise that project”, he said.
“Good – at least you’re not being selfish”, I said.
“Woah! Says the queen of all selfishness”
“No I’m not”
“You are selfish. Saying you’re not selfish is like saying you’re not beautiful”
“You think I’m beautiful”
“Are we going to have another argument on that too?”
“No. So, am I?”
“Don’t act as if you don’t know you’re beautiful”
“I like being told I’m beautiful. I don’t want to go around telling myself I’m beautiful but people
don’t see that”
“Bullshit! You know you’re beautiful”
“I don’t want to be Foxy. She leaves her flat with this huge amount of make up, she thinks she
looks good but she looks like a clown”
“Let’s change the topic”
“Oh, when Foxy’s name get thrown you want to change the topic?”
“It’s not that – ”
“Then it’s what then?”
“I’m a man, I can’t sit hear and listen to you talking about make up and how much you dislike
Foxy”
“I’m sorry for talking bad about your girlfriend”
“She’s not my girlfriend, come on”
“Then what is she? Oh, wait, she’s helping you bring down your new partner, Raymond. Right?”
“I don’t have time for this”
“The truth hurts, does it? Yeah King Pin, walk away. That’s what you’re good at anyway”
“If you think I’m good at that then you don’t know me little girl”
“Don’t call me little girl. I hate that”
“Why does it pain you that we were plotting something against Raymond? Do you have feelings
for the guy? Foxy told me everything that went down between you and Raymond. You had the
chance to bring him down but you were so in love to do that”
“No I wasn’t”
“Do you still like Raymond?”
“Of course not”
“Really?”
“Why are you so intimidated by Raymond?”
“I’m not intimidated by that pussy”
“Say that in his face, King Pin. Why are you always looking for someone to help you bring
Raymond down? Why can’t you do it alone since you’re not intimidate by him?”
“Good night”
“You’re a pussy”
“What did you say to me?”
“What are you going to do King Pin? Are you going to beat me?”
“I don’t go around beating little girls”

King Pin went to his bedroom. I just sat there, I wasn’t angry, I felt sorry for him. Why do I even
feel sorry for him? I know him too well. I’ve worked for him, he was there when no one wanted
anything to do with me. I thought about it, he was part of the reason I didn’t feel connected to
Antonio anymore. I slowly fell for his bad boy tendencies. Antonio was soft, he was rough.
Antonio said what I wanted to hear, King Pin said what I didn’t want to hear. Different worlds.
Ever since I had sex with King Pin, everything changed. I didn’t want anything to do with
Antonio. He’s a nice guy but he was too boring. King Pin is funny but he comes across as rude
to those who don’t know him well. He does say some awful things sometimes but I don’t know
why I’m falling for him.
I had to apologise to him.
I knocked on his bedroom door, he didn’t answer. I opened the door, he was facing the other
way.
“King Pin are you sleeping?”, I asked.
“What do you want?”, he asked.
I got on his bed and I planted a kiss on his forehead.
“What was that for?”, he asked.
He was wearing eyeglasses, it seems like he was reading some papers. I won’t lie, he looked
sexy with the glasses on.
“I’m sorry for what happened earlier. I can be a bitch sometimes”, I said.
He smiled.
“Am I forgiven?”, I asked.
“Let me think”, he teased.
“Please”, I begged.
“I forgive you – only if you make it up to me”, he said.
“Do you want me to make you eggs in the morning?”, I asked.
“Even better. What about some make up sex? Come on baby girl”, he said.
I leaned forward and I kissed him. He touched my butt and squeezed it.
“Do you believe me when I say I really want you?”, he whispered in a soft deep voice.
“Yeah”, I whispered in his ear.
“Why are you so beautiful?”, he asked as he whispered in my ear.

We ended up having sex – I’ll leave that to your imagination.

Ha…
**********
When I woke up, King Pin wasn’t there. I reached out to where he was sleeping, I was trying to
feel the temperature. If it was warm then he just got out of bed, if it was cold then he got out of
the bed long time ago. It was cold, seems like he got out of the bed long time ago. I sat up, I
heard people talking in the lounge. I was sick, I wanted to vomit. I ran out of the bedroom and
straight to the toilet seat where I vomited.
I rinsed my mouth with water after I vomited and I brushed my teeth. I came out of the
bathroom, King Pin looked at me. He was with three girls, I’ve never saw them before. I didn’t
even say hi to them, I just went straight to King Pin’s bedroom.
After they left, King Pin opened the door.
“And now?”, he asked.
“What?”, I asked.
“Rushing to the bathroom and the moodiness?”, he asked.
“I’m better now and I’m not moody”, I said.
“Are you okay Nosipho?”
“I said I’m better now! Damn it!”
“Woah, calm your tits baby girl”
“I’ll punch you in the face if you tell me to calm my tits, I swear”
“What’s wrong with you? What did my magic stick do to you?”
‘Leave me alone”
“Oh, it’s that time of the month?”
“No – of course not”
“Look, I’m going to the club now. I’ll be back in the evening. Call me if you need anything,
okay?”
“Who were those girls anyway?”
“Uh – just some girls looking for work”
“They know where you live?”
“I was surprised too”
“Oh, okay”
“Call me if you need anything, bye”
“Bye”
King Pin left.

I was home alone, I cleaned the house. I was bored afterwards. Having no job is crazy, well, I
do sort of have an acting career but I can go for weeks without getting any acting gig. I heard a
knock on the door, I went to answer the door.
When I opened the door I saw a girl standing there. She was popping her gum. What caught my
attention wasn’t the way she chewed her gum but the short skirt she was wearing.
“How may I help you?”, I asked her.
“I need to speak to KP”, she said.
“Who’s KP?”, I asked.
“King Pin”, she replied.
“Alright, uhm, King Pin is at his club”
“Really?”
“Yeah but you can leave a message”
“I want to talk to KP, face to face”
“You can go to his club, he’s always there”
“I already went there, he’s not there”
“No ways, King Pin is in his office. Whoever told you that King Pin wasn’t there is mad”
“Are you sure King Pin isn’t home?”
“Yeah I am. Do you think I’m lying?”
“I don’t trust a bitch”
“Excuse me?”
“Check here, don’t you have a few hundreds?”
“I don’t have”
“Ah, fuck. Bitch I know you’re lying to me. You’re looking good and you’re living in KP’s crib,
you gotta have a few hundreds with you”
“First of all, who are you? And secondly, don’t call me a bitch. I don’t have money, really”
“Hey, hey, hey, hey. Look, K1 calls everyone a bitch”
“Whatever, K-what what, whatever you call yourself. I don’t have money”
“No cash for K1?”
“Nope”
“I’m a struggling bitch, I don’t have anything – ”
“And what connects you with King Pin?”
“King Pin is my pimp. He fired K1 last week, can you believe that shit? KP fired one of the
bitches that made him a lot of dough. That’s some bitch ass mentality right there”
“What did you say? King Pin is a pimp?”
“Yeah, he’s a pimp. Now I’m a struggling bitch, I got debts to pay”
“Why did he fire you?”
“Arg…can I come in?”
“What?”
“I won’t cause any problems. I swear K1will act like she’s invincible”
“This isn’t my house, K1. I can’t just invite anyone – ”
“Come on bitch. This bitch right here is not just anyone, she is KP’s number one profit”
“But you said he fired you”
“When I talk to him, he’ll come to his senses”
“Sorry I can’t help you”
“Bitch why you’re so heartless? Like, can’t you see another bitch is in distress? I beg for the
sake of bitch code”
“I can’t help you”
I closed the door. I don’t know this crazy girl and I can’t believe King Pin is a pimp. He’s got a lot
of explaining to do.
Yeses!

Part 20: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

I didn’t want to hang in the house for too long. I decided to take a drive around my new
neighbourhood. I got in my car and I drove away. I saw Rashidi’s car parked right next to a tree
and in front of Rashidi’s car was Linda’s car. Linda is a sneaky bitch, oh yes, bitch. I got out of
my car and I quickly ran to where the cars were parked. There was a tall wall so I don’t think
they will see me and the tree is huge.
I tippy toed to Linda’s car. I was cautious, I don’t want to set the alarm off. I could see the lights
in her car were on so that means she didn’t close the door properly. It was too easy for me but I
don’t want to get caught. I looked around, I didn’t see anyone. I cautiously went inside the car. I
went through her car, my earring screw fell off. I reached for it under the seat and I saw a photo,
the photo’s back part, the white part was visible. I was curious who was in that photo but I had a
feeling it was a photo of Linda, Raymond and their son. After all the rumours of Linda dating
Rashidi, what if it’s the photo of them? I picked up the photo, I didn’t turn it. I looked around to
see if there wasn’t anyone coming. I turned the photo around and what I saw shocked me. My
heart started beating fast, I could feel my lips getting dry. I was angry at the same time I felt
betrayed.
Linda and Bandile, my big brother were looking all lovey dovey on that picture. Am I dreaming? I
quickly got out of the car, I ran to my car and I drove away. I went to stop at the nearest parking
lot. I tried to process everything, I couldn’t, no I couldn’t. Why didn’t Linda tell me that she knew
my brother? I lived in that village all my life and I only saw Linda that one time. Where did she
meet my brother? Did my brother ever come to the city? I had so many questions. Suddenly I
heard a knock on my window and that really gave me a fright. It was Hakeem. I went out of my
car and I hugged him.
“Sorry I gave you a fright”, he apologised.
“It’s fine”, I said, no it wasn’t.
“Are you good? It was great seeing you the other day”, he said.
“Yeah I’m good. I missed you guys”, I said.
“Don’t ever do that again”, he said.
“I won’t”
“See you soon, I have to go. My girlfriend is waiting for me”
“Okay, cool”
Hakeem left. I got into the car and I drove away. I was still shocked because of the photo I saw.

10pm
That evening I only ate takeaways. I tried calling King Pin a multiple times but I couldn’t get
ahold of him. I didn’t know where he was. Maybe he was having an important meeting with
Antonio. I decided to give Antonio a call, he told me King Pin isn’t with him. Since King Pin is a
pimp, I thought maybe he’s with these girls, I don’t know. I looked at the time, maybe I’m
overreacting, it’s too early according to King Pin. He doesn’t come home this time, he comes
home later. Well, just because he comes home early sometimes doesn’t mean he must come
home early everyday.
Two hours later, it was midnight. I was sleeping in the couch when I heard the door opening. I
asked who it was and it was King Pin. He locked the door, I was so pissed. After he was done
locking the door, he tried to give me a kiss. I stood up angrily, “Fuck you King Pin”, I said
furiously.
“What did I do now?”, he asked.
“I’ve been waiting for you for a long time, I was worried”, I stressed.
“Thanks for waiting for me but you know that I’m a busy man”, he said.
“Yes you are a busy man, a very busy man”
“Did you make supper?”
“What the fuck do you think I am? Your wife?”
“I’m just fucking asking, calm your vagina”
“Ah! I swear to God I’m going to punch you in the face”
“What’s wrong with you today? You’re an angry maniac!”
“I’ll show you an angry maniac, you punk!”
“Hey, hey, enough”
“Or what are you going to do? Kick me out of your house?”
“Doesn’t sound like a bad idea”
“Fuck you King Pin. Fuck you for lying to me. I asked you who those girls were, you gave me a
lame excuse”
“I thought I told you that they were looking for a – ”
“Fuck you King Pin!”
“Hey, don’t be like that”
“Like what? You’re a pimp! A girl named K1 came by this morning, she was looking for you”
“K1?”
“Don’t even act like you don’t know her!”
“Damn man, I don’t know”
“What don’t you know? You’re a pimp!”
“You’re saying that like it’s a disease”
“Why are you pimping?”
“I don’t have time for your mini QnA”
“What else are you hiding from me King Pin?”
“I don’t owe you anything! Mind your business”
“Okay, I’ll mind my business. You carry on with your pimping”
“Don’t act like you’re any better”
“At least I don’t go around selling girls”
“Nosipho, please. You also had sex in exchange of money and luxurious items. From Raymond
to Antonio and now me”
“Are you trying to say I’m a prostitute?”
“If the shoe fits, fucking wear it”
“I’m not a prostitute! Fuck you King Pin!”
“Prostitution isn’t necessarily standing in fucken corners and fucking every dick you can lay
eyes on. You know it. End of discussion, I’m done Nosipho”
“Go to hell King Pin”
“I’m right after you”
I was so angry at King Pin I wanted to punch him.
Arg!
**********
The next morning, I didn’t really spend much of my morning in King Pin’s house. We didn’t really
talk about what happened last night, we acted as if we didn’t see each other. I went to have
breakfast at a restaurant.

As I was eating, K1 came to me.

“Yo”, she said as she sat down.
“What do you want?”, I asked her.
“I see the bitch is living large, huh? Going out for breakfast, eating fancy breakfast. KP is
treating you grand, huh? I see”, she said.
“I’m not your friend, okay? I only met you yesterday, we don’t know each other. I asked you
what you want, instead you’re chewing my ear off, talking rubbish”, I said.
“Do you know where I live?”, she asked me.
“Of course not. I don’t even know you”, I replied.
“I need a place to crash”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because you’re KP’s bitch”
“I’m not King Pin’s bitch!”
“Girlfriend, whatever you call it. But, look, I just need a place to crash for like two to three days.
My boyfriend kicked me out of his crib”
“How many times must I tell you? That’s not my house, go and talk to King Pin”
“KP doesn’t want shit to do with me”
“If he doesn’t want shit to do with you, why would you think he would agree to let you stay at his
house?”
“Because you’re going to convince him – come on, you’re KP’s bitch, I mean girlfriend”
“We’re not dating”
“Okay? Oh? Oh? Oh?”
“I can’t help you”
“So you’re going to let another bitch live on the streets?”
“I don’t know you! Please don’t make your problems my problems”
“There are a lot of bad guys on these streets. What if I get raped or some shit?”
“Get raped? That’s more like shoplifting”
“Bitch I’m sick and tired of your stinking attitude. I only met you yesterday but I can sense that
you’re a heartless, self-centred, naïve, stupid bitch. That’s why I fucking hate xhosa girls, go
back to Eastern Cape bitch, stay away from our jobs and men, bitch. You’ll be KP’s dog for life,
bitch. Rot in hell, bitch”
“Why are you causing a scene, you retard? Look at you and look at me, I’m not on your level”
“I’m a real bitch, I don’t beat around the bush, bitch. You’re not on any level, bitch. You’re at
level zero, bitch. You’re not better than me, I hustle for my money”
“And I don’t?”
“You get money because of your looks. You sleep your way to the top, bitch”
“You’re really crazy, look at you”
“I don’t need your help anymore. You’ll get what’s coming to you, bitch. Trust me, you don’t
want to mess with a bitch like me”
“You don’t want to mess with a bitch like me too. K1 just get your ass out of here, you psycho
bitch”
K1 was causing a scene, she was talking loudly. The security tried to escort her but she didn’t
want to leave. She kept shouting, “I’m going to eat breakfast”. She was lying, she didn’t have a
cent, she’s mad that I don’t want to help her. I don’t even know her, she has issues.

“Go, stop resisting”, I said.

“Shut up, bitch before you see blood”, she intimated.
“Just go – leave”, I said.
“Get your hands off me, bitch. I’m going to have breakfast”, she said to the security guard. She
was resisting.
“Look at her, she’s mad. Can someone book her to a mental institution? She’s mad”, I said.
“Shut up, bitch”, she said to me. She was fuming with anger.
“Lady, you have to leave”, the security said gently. He stopped wrestling with her, he wanted her
to leave in peace.
“I know where you leave, bitch. I’ll make you life hell, bitch”, she said to me.
She left the restaurant. She gave me a nasty look, I’m not the typical girl to get easily
intimidated but she’s mad. At this point, she’s capable of doing anything. I immediately gave
King Pin a call, I told him what happened, I was shaking and crying. King Pin just told me that
she won’t do anything, she was just trying to intimidate me. As if that was enough to console me
– I wanted to be around someone. Obviously, King Pin didn’t make himself available. I thought if
I told him what happened, he would say, “Okay, tell me where you are, I’m on my way”. I
decided to go to Martin’s house but I wanted to give him a call before going there. Things are
awkward between us but he’s a cool guy, I don’t believe he’s mad or angry at me.
I gave him a call and he told me that he was in a meeting. Too bad. I drove to King Pin’s house,
I tried not to be paranoid.
When I got to King Pin’s house, I made sure that the gate was securely closed, even the doors.
I just wanted to sleep, I took a panado pill and I slept.
I had a dream. I was running in the forest and I came across King Pin kissing Mbali. I kept
asking, “Why are you doing this to me?” and he didn’t answer. I called his name multiple times
but he didn’t respond, he was just kissing Mbali. I ran, I came across Antonio kissing K1. I felt
sick. I kept running and I came across Rashidi kissing Foxy, I couldn’t believe it. I continued
running and I came across Linda kissing Bandile, I was so shocked I covered my mouth. I
continued running and I saw Raymond kissing me, it was weird. I was watching myself kissing
Raymond. I shouted, “Nosipho stop kissing him”, but Raymond and “Nosipho” kept kissing – I
took off again. I stopped running for a while and I looked around. All these people were kissing,
it’s like they were controlled because every movement was the same. I saw Martin standing
alone in the midst of the kissing that was happening. Martin reached his hand out to me, I
nervously gave him my hand. He held me, he looked me in the eyes and he smiled. I felt so
calm, he led me further in the forest. He told me to wait because he wanted to pee real bad. I
waited for him, he sneaked behind me, I felt his hand touch my shoulder, I was facing the other
way. I smiled and I turned and I saw the ghost, I fainted. I couldn’t see the ghost’s face,
everytime I try noticing her face my vision become blur.
I woke up from the bad dream. The tv was on, King Pin was home. I reached for my phone and I
checked the time, unbelievable, the time was 6pm, it was prime time. I never slept like this ever,
this is my first time ever. I can’t believe I was sleeping in the morning and I woke up at 6pm.
Unbelievable. Just unbelievable.
**********
King Pin was watching tv, I sat in another couch – the one King Pin was not seating on. There
was silence, finally King Pin broke the silence.
“Are you okay?”, he asked.
“Yep”, I lied.
“You don’t have to be afraid of K1, you know, she gets psycho when she doesn’t get what she
wants”
I didn’t respond.
“I’m tired of arguing with you, Nosipho. Can we just not argue anymore? Look, you can’t change
the person I am. You can’t come into my life and just change me”, he said.
“I don’t know what to believe anymore. You tell me you like me, you said those girls were just
looking for a job meanwhile you’re their pimp. I don’t know what to believe, really King Pin”, I
said.
“I like you but when you act clingy, you just turn me off. Clingy girls are a huge turn off,
seriously”, he said.
“You call it clingy, I call it caring”
“Nosipho, you get mad when other girls are around, you get mad when I come home late and
you get angry when I ignore you”
“So I must stop caring?”
“No, just stop being clingy”
“Clingy?”
“Yes clingy”
“Whatever”
“Nosipho, we’re friends. The reason you’re living here is because I care about you – you’re my
friend after all”
“Friend?”
“Yes friend”
“Do you have sex with your female friends? Do you tell your female friends you like them?”
“No, you’re a special friend”
“Special friend?”
“Yes, Nosipho. What do you want us to be?”
“I guess I’ll settle for friendship”
“Look, look, hey, hey, I’m not a relationship kinda guy. I don’t want to rush anything because – ”
“Because you’re scared you’ll fall in love?”
“No, because I have mixed feelings for you. Sometimes I really like you but sometimes I don’t
like you”
I giggled.
“I feel like that too”, I said with a smile.
“You like me?”, he asked.
“Yes, King Pin”, I rolled my eyes.
“Shit, I knew you liked me”, he said happily.
“But sometimes I dislike you”, I added.
“We both have mixed feelings about each other”, he said.
“We have a love-hate relationship”, I said.
“Come sit next to me”, he said.
“No, I’m okay here”
“Come sit next to me, please”
“Ah, King Pin”
“I even said please. Come on”
I went to sit next to him.
“That’s what I wanted”, he said.

My head rested on his chest, he wrapped his arm around me. I looked him in the eye, he kissed
my forehead. I returned the favor as I kissed his forehead, he smiled. We watched tv. I felt his
hand grabbing my butt, I didn’t say anything, I just continued watching tv.
“Let’s go cuddle in my bed”, he said.
“Okay”, I agreed.

He picked me up, I wasn’t expecting that.

“Woah, don’t drop me”, I pleaded.
“Really?”, he remarked.
He rushed to the bedroom and dropped me on his bed.
“Ouch, why didn’t drop me gently?”, I asked with a giggled.
“You’re heavy compared to the last time”, he said breathing heavily.
“What are you trying to say? I’m fat?”, I teased him.
“Hey, I don’t like skinny bitches”, he shrugged.
I laughed.
“We’re only going to cuddle, right?”, I asked him.
“Well, I can’t promise you”, I said uncertainly.
We went under covers. The next minute he was on top of me.
“Is this cuddling?”, I asked.
“I guess my trap worked”, he laughed.
We started kissing passionately. The next thing he was penetrating me. I felt uncomfortable, it
hurt – a bit. I closed my eyes real tight, I held onto the sheets real tight – I just laid there, he was
breathing heavily on top of me. “Ouch”, I said. He stopped.
“Are you okay?”, he asked.
“I – I – I feel pain”, I said.
“I can be gentle, okay? I’ll be gentle”, he promised.
“Okay”, I said.
I was sick, I felt like vomiting. He was penetrating me again. I looked up in the ceiling, I could
feel tears rushing down my cheeks. He stopped again.
“Hey, why are you crying?”, he asked with a confused face. “Look, we don’t have to carry on”,
he said.
“I don’t know why I’m crying”, I said as I wiped my tears. I quickly wore my clothes and I rushed
to the bathroom – I locked the door.
I started vomiting, I was holding my stomach – I had a stomach ache. King Pin knocked on the
door. “Is everything okay Nosipho?”, he asked. I didn’t respond. I sat on the tiles, they were so
cold. I felt the pain increase, I screamed. “Open the door Nosipho!”, King Pin yelled. I stretched
my arm, I reached for the door handle and I opened the door. King Pin rushed in, he picked me
up and he rushed to his bedroom. He gently placed me on his bed.
“Please get me something more comfortable to wear”, I said.
“Like a dress?”, he asked.
“Yes”, I replied.
He went to my room and he came back with a dress. I was starting to get a bit weak, luckily he
helped me take off my jeans and blouse. He helped me put on my dress.
“Let’s go to the hospital”, he said.
He wore his hoody, took his car keys and he picked me up.
He was worried, I got on his car and he drove away.
I’ve never seen him this worried.
*sigh*
**********
When we got to the hospital, the stomach ache seemed to disappear. King Pin went to the
reception, I watched him talk to the receptionist. Minutes later, King Pin came to seat next to me
as we waited for the doctor.
“How are you feeling?”, he asked.
“A bit better”, I replied.
“The doctor is on his way”, he said.
“Okay”, I said. I was nervous, I don’t like hospitals.
The doctor came and he instructed me to follow him to the examination room. When we were in
the examination room he asked me what happened. I told him everything, excluding the sex
part. He wanted to do a scan – how weird. He told me to lie on the examination table.
Unfortunately I was wearing a dress.
“You know what we can do? Just take that black towel over there and wrap yourself. After that
you can take off the dress”, the doctor said.
I took the towel, wrapped it around my waist and I took off my dress. My bra was on, of course.
I laid on the examination table.
“Doctor, why am I doing this?”, I asked nervously.
“Uh – your symptoms – I just want to make sure you’re not pregnant”, he said.
“Pregnant? No ways, I’ve been having my periods”, I said.
“You’d be surprised”, the doctor said. He applied gel.
“Why is gel applied during ultrasounds?”, I asked curiously.
“Applying a gel to the skin during an ultrasound procedure allows the transducer to pass over
the skin more easily so that it makes better contact with the body. It transmits the sound waves
from the probe to the skin to be more specific – ultrasound waves travel very poorly through air”,
he said.
I didn’t know that.
He placed the ultrasound scan on my stomach and he moved it around on the areas he applied
gel.
“I can see the head – beautiful! Congratulations Miss Nosipho”, the doctor said.
“What? I’m pregnant? How?”, I asked. I was so shocked.
“Condoms are not 100% protective”, he said.
“I was on my periods, there’s no baby movement and look at my stomach – nothing”, I said.
” Many things can cause bleeding
during pregnancy including cervical changes, sex, infection, and placenta problems. In many
other cases the reason is unknown and nothing is abnormal or wrong at all. Some women have
periodic bleeding for the first several months of their pregnancy”, he said.
“I can’t believe this”, I said.
“You’re four months pregnant”
“Four months? Is it too late for an abortion doc?”
“Uhm – Nosipho, I think you should first speak to your partner, family or friends just for advice.
Abortion is a big process and I don’t want to plant an idea on your mind – ”
“You’re not planting anything on my mind. I just want to know if it’s late for an abortion”
“No it’s not”
“That’s all I wanted to know”
“What are you going to do now Nosipho?”
“I’ll tell my partner”
“That’s a great start”
“Can I have the scan photo?”
“Absolutely”

I wore my dress and I took off the towel.

“You should come for your check-up two weeks later”, he said.
“Okay, you’re going to determine the baby’s gender?”, I asked.
“And that too”, he said.
He handed me a scan photo.
I was nervous, I didn’t know how King Pin will react.
He was sitting in the waiting room, as soon as he saw me he stood up.
“So?”, he asked anxiously.
“I’m fine but we have to discuss something when we get home”, I said.
“Alright, as long as you’re fine”, he said.

We went home.
I’m so nervous.
**********
We arrived home.
“The doctor didn’t even give you some medicine”, he said as he took off his hoody.
I didn’t know where to start. I sat on the couch. When the doctor performed the ultrasound and I
saw the baby on the monitor, I was so shocked. I wanted to get rid of the baby but when I was in
King Pin’s car, I thought about it. I don’t want to get rid of the baby, if he doesn’t want anything
to do with the baby – I’ll take care of my child on my own.
King Pin sat next to me.
“That’s the worse sex I’ve had”, he said jokingly.
I didn’t even crack a smile, I was thinking to myself.
“Talk to me, what’s up?”, he asked.
I didn’t respond.
“How am I suppose to help you if you don’t talk to me?”, he asked.
I still didn’t respond.
“Okay I give up, but don’t ever accuse me of not caring”, he said.
I just stood up and left. I locked myself in the bathroom. King Pin knocked on the door, he was
get a bit angry. I could hear his knock getting more violent.
“I’m tired of this shit, Nosipho. Get the fuck out!”, he yelled.
“Leave me alone!”, I yelled.
“I want to use my bathroom!”, he yelled.
I got out of the bathroom and I went straight to my bedroom, he followed me.
“You’re acting strange. I don’t like the silence treatment”, he said.
“You don’t know what I’m going through”, I said.
“How am I suppose to know if you’re not talking to me?”, he asked.
“You want to know what’s wrong with me?”, I asked.
“Please”
“I’m pregnant”
“Pregnant?”
“Yes, with your child”
“My child?”
“I’m four months pregnant”
“With my child? Are you sure it’s my child?”
“Yes! What’s wrong? You want to run away from your responsibilities?”
“Four months pregnant? Nosipho, we had sex four months ago? I recently started having sex
with you”
“What are you trying to say? I’m a slut?”
“Don’t put words in my mouth”
“It’s your baby, we’ve been having sex for a long time. We once had sex when we were drunk”
“Are you sure that’s not Antonio’s baby?”
“No! It’s your baby! Fuck you!”
 “Hey, don’t start! Look, if it’s my baby then I’ll support you and the child but when the baby is
born, I want a paternity test”
“Paternity test? Whatever, this baby is yours!”
“I’m going out”
“Out?”
“Nosipho, I need some fresh air”
“Is that an excuse to get away from your pregnant “friend”, oh wait, you impregnated your
“friend”. Arg!”
“I’m sick and tired of your bitching! I’m going out, I don’t know if I’ll be back. Maybe I’ll come
back in the morning”
“Are you going to sleep over at Foxy’s house or the girls you pimp?”
“I don’t have time for this. Good bye”
“Make sure you don’t impregnate whoever you’re going to, okay?”
“You’re such a bitch!”
“Go to hell, you stupid illegal women seller. I regret being your baby’s mother”
“Let’s not be sure about that, how many guys have you fucked in the last four months?”
“Go to hell”
King Pin left.

What a jerk!

Part 21: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

The next morning, I woke up early and King Pin still wasn’t back yet. What made my morning
though was Mbali’s SMS, she wanted to meet me at Antonio’s restaurant, I was looking forward
to that. I made myself some breakfast and when I ate I heard someone opening the door, I knew
it was King Pin.
He went straight to his bedroom and closed the door. I stood up and I went to knock on his door.
“King Pin, can I come in?”, I asked.
I heard him mumble a “yes”. I came in. “I’m sorry, King Pin”, I apologised.
“Nosipho, why do you always act like a jealous girlfriend?”, he asked.
“Sorry for caring”, I said.
“I need my space, I’m a man. I can’t report to you everything I’m doing, I’m a grown ass man”
“I’m sorry, okay?”
“Okay”
“Aren’t you going to apologise?”
“For what? You were the one who put words in my mouth”
“Eish, men and their egos”
“So…you’re carrying my child?”
“Yes”
“Oh, do you know the gender yet?”
“No…the doctor told me to go for a check up after two weeks”
“Ok”
“Do you want a boy or a girl?”
“I don’t know. Well, a boy would be nice but I wouldn’t mind a girl also. Basically, I wouldn’t
mind the gender as long as, you know”
“No – I don’t know”
“As long as I have a kid”
“Are you excited?”
“I don’t know how to feel, this child is my first. A part of me is happy and another part of me is
nervous. My uncle used to say a man’s work is his children”
“So…What are we?”
“Uhm…”
“King Pin?”
“Yeah?”
“Why are you so afraid of being in a relationship?”
“I’m not scared – ”
“Yes you are – you’ve been having one night stands all your life, do you want to do that all your
life?”
“What do you want Nosipho?”
“I want us to be a couple, I want us to raise this baby together – ”
“We are going to raise this baby together – that’s if it’s mine”
“This is your baby King Pin!”
“I don’t want to fight with you again, I swear if you yell all hell will break loose”
“Stop being in denial, this is your baby”
“I’m going to take care of you and the baby, don’t you believe me?”
“I do”
“Then why are we even talking about this?”
“Okay, sorry”
“Let’s just take things one step at a time. We can’t rush things, do you get me? Because, uhm,
just because you’re carrying my kid doesn’t mean I should marry you or have a romantic
relationship with you”
“I didn’t say I want to marry you”
“I’m just saying, I’m just making an example”
“Well…”
“Nosipho, I like you but we should take things one step at a time”
“I understand”
“I’m a fucked up dude, I’m not going to lie about that. I’m real, I talk shit, I’m sexy – I’m sexy,
right?”
“You’re manly”
“Is that a good thing?”
“Yes, you’re handsome in a manly way”
“Anyway, I’m just straight to the point. It’s either you love me or hate me, I don’t really care”
“You’re also annoying”
“Yes, that too”
“You should learn to be more romantic though”
“Ha-a”
We hugged and we ironed things between us.
King Pin left for work. I went to meet up with Mbali at Antonio’s restaurant.
Mbali was already waiting for me.
“Sorry I’m late”, I apologised.
“Are you kidding me? You’re always late”, she joked.
We hugged each other.
“So nice to see you again. I wasn’t expecting that SMS at all”, I said.
“I know”, she said.
“Why did you want us to meet?”
“I’ve been hiding something from you and it’s bothering me”
“Tell me”
“I don’t know where to start”
“Just tell me”
“Uhm…remember when I told you that Rashidi was beating me?”
“Yes”
“I was lying”
“Why would you lie about that?”
“Because I didn’t want you to kick me out of the house. I had to finish my mission”
“Mission?”
“I was suppose to steal from Antonio”
“What?”
“They wanted me to steal some files from Antonio. The only way I could get access to those
files was to sleep my way to getting them. I knew it would be hard for Antonio to cheat on you so
I used his vulnerability. You and him were going through some problems and I knew he was a
desperate man. I visited him after hours, even in the afternoon – we used to chill in his house,
drink vodka and listen to his crappy jazz. When he was too drunk, I made my move and when
he was sober, I tried to seduce him. I know it’s too late for an apology but – ”
“Did you get the files?”
“Yes”
“Who are “they”, huh?”
“I don’t want to name people”
“Really? Because I think I heard Antonio’s name or am I wrong? Tell me, you’re confessing to
me – I need you to tell me the truth”
“I can’t do this, I’m not even suppose to be with you”
“Was it Rashidi and one of his friends?”
“I can’t tell you”
“It’s obvious that Rashidi is one of those “they” you’re talking about”
“That’s all I wanted to tell you”
“Do you know Mr X?”
“Who’s that?”
“I’m sure Rashidi talked about this mysterious guy”
“Why is this guy mysterious guy?”
“Because Rashidi said so. Your boyfriend is sneaky and he covers his trail pretty well, I should
applaud him on that”
“What are you talking about?”
“Months ago, I offered to help King Pin by delivering a package assigned to Mr X. King Pin
gave me the address, I went there and I found a bunch of girls, which I find it’s weird. I went to
Mr X’s office and I found Rashidi there. He told me that he’s Mr X’s friend and guess what
happened, Martin shows up. Rashidi then feels guilty, he wanted to meet up with me. I asked
him who Mr X was, he told be a bunch of tales, which doesn’t make sense until now. I asked
Martin about Mr X and he told me loads of bullshit. I instantly knew that Rashidi and Martin were
up to something. I decided to visit Mr X’s house and I found a couple living there. I asked this
couple if they knew Mr X or Rashidi or Martin and the couple said nope, the last owner was an
old lady. That’s bullshit because the last owner was Mr X, oh wait, Mr X doesn’t exist. Before I
forget, when I asked the girls that were in the house when I delivered the package if Mr X was
there they said yes. I found Rashidi there and I asked if he’s Mr X, he told me yeah. Does that
make sense to you? Definitely not! Your man is sneaky. He covered his trail pretty well, I must
say”
“I didn’t know that”
“The reason he moved out of the house is because he knew that I knew what was up”
“Nosipho, I sometimes ask myself why I fell for Rashidi. He’s a nice guy who’s involved with
bad people and that kinda makes him a bad person but he’s actually a great person”
“Rashidi really changed. He was Mr Perfect, now he’s just mean”
“I don’t think he’s mean at all”
“Yeah he is”
“King Pin is the total opposite of Rashidi. He’s just a bad boy. I can’t believe you left Antonio for
a guy like him”
“King Pin is an ass but if you get to know him, you’ll tolerate him. We do argue but I think deep
down he’s a good person”
“Eish, men”
“Men think showing emotion is for women – ”
“I know, right?”
“Showing emotion is a good thing though”
“Yeah. I miss talking to you, Nosipho”
“Me too”
I had a decent chat with Mbali, I miss having her around. It’s a good thing she told me this
because I really didn’t have any idea.
I didn’t tell her I was pregnant, only me, the doctor and King Pin know this. I need to tell my
parents – when I’m ready.
*crossing fingers*
**********
It was nice talking to Mbali, it’s been a long time since we had a chat. I haven’t received any
news from my agent, this goes to show how scarce acting jobs are for amateur actors. Or
maybe my agent wasn’t doing a good job – for once I felt like I don’t stand a chance in the
acting business. It all looks easy on tv but it’s hard. Anyway, I don’t want to think about that.
I drove to Adelphe’s place, he lived in Foxy’s neighbourhood. He was surprised to see me there.
“Nosipho, what a nice surprise. How are you?”, he asked.
“I’m fine thanks and you”, I asked as I took a seat.
“I’m fine, I’m fine – let me get you something to drink. Juice or water or tea or coffee?”, he
asked.
“Juice, please”, I politely said.
Adelphe went to the kitchen.
“I don’t want to offend you”, he said.
He was still in the kitchen.
“What’s wrong?”, I asked him.
He didn’t respond – he came with a glass of juice and some biscuits.
“Many girls are offended when they’re called big”, he said.
“What are you trying to say?”, I asked.
“You’ve gained weight – no offence. You do look good though, you’re an African woman”, he
complimented.
“Thank you – you’re not the first to see how big I am”, I said.
“Big is not the word, you’re bootylicious and beautiful”
“Okay – I get the picture”
“I heard you’re dating King Pin, why would you even date a dude like him?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“I just think he’s out of your league”
“Wow, why are you talking on my behalf?”
“I’m just saying, Nosi”
“King Pin is a cool guy”
“If you say so”
“Let’s not talk about him, can we?”
“Of course”
“How are things going?”
“Good”
“What’s been happening at the club?”
“Same old stuff”
“I once heard that Rashidi’s management style is different”
“Yeah, everyone’s management is different”
“He did some major changes, what did Raymond say about that? I bet he didn’t like that”
“Rashidi is still the manager, how’s that?”
“Well, I guess Raymond has no choice. Uhm…isn’t he suppose to be getting married soon?”
“The wedding was postponed – ”
“What? Did they fight again? I heard rumours that the perfect couple once had an argument at
the club in front of customers”
“Look Nosipho, I don’t want to talk about that…can we change the subject?”
“Alright – ”
“Where were you hiding?”
“I wasn’t hiding”
“You were so scarce, there’s a party happening tonight at Raymond’s club. You should come
through”
“Uhm – I don’t know hey”
“Please, we really miss having you around”
“I don’t know – ”
“Please Nosi, you can leave if you don’t like the vibe”
“With you guys around? No ways, it’s always a good time”
“Is that a yes?”
“Yes”
“You won’t be disappointed”
“What time?”
“Eight”
“Okay, I’ll be there”

I was happy that I won’t be stuck at home tonight. I left Adelphe’s place and I went to buy some
lunch for me and King Pin. I wanted to surprise him.
I drove to King Pin’s club. I went straight to his office. His door was open so I just walked in.
“Hey you”, I said.
“Hey”, he responded.
“Look what I got you”, I took out the food.
“Yummy, you read my mind”, he closed his laptop.
“You work hard so I figured why not bring my bo- I mean my friend something to eat”, I said.
“That’s thoughtful of you, thanks”, he took a big bite of the burger.
Foxy walked in.
“Oh, I didn’t know you had a visitor”, she said.
King Pin looked at me, I rolled my eyes. “I wanted to show you something”, Foxy said.
“He’s eating right now”, I said.
King Pin looked at me again, I leaned back.
“Are you King Pin?”, Foxy asked.
“Ladies please”, King Pin interrupted.
“Are you blind? Obviously you can see he’s having lunch. It’s rude to interrupt your boss while
he’s having lunch”, I said.
King Pin stood up, “Make it quick”, he said to Foxy. They disappeared together. Are you kidding
me? Who the hell does Foxy think she is?
I waited for about ten minutes. King Pin arrived at his office.
“We talked about this, why the fuck are you doing it again? I hate when girls keep tabs on me. I
hate that shit, I can speak for myself – stop acting like a psycho bitch, seriously”, he expressed.
“I brought you lunch, I wanted to spend time with you. I don’t want to be interrupted by an
attention seeking whore”, I said.
“Oh shit, this is going to be an argument again. Look, I’ll eat, you can talk till blood comes out of
your ears, I don’t care”, he said.
“Can’t you see I’m trying? I want us to turn a new leaf – for the sake of the baby”, I said.
He kept eating.
“This is really delicious”, he said.
“Stop being childish, why can’t you have a decent conversation with me?”, I asked.
“You want to know why? Because you’re immature, you can’t hold a ‘decent’ conversation
without having a fighting and you’re miss know-it-all”, he said.
“No I’m not!”
“You are, look, can we enjoy this meal without fighting?”
“I just lost my appetite”
“You should eat, don’t starve my ‘child’. Hey?”
“Whatever”
I left his office, I heard him laugh. He said, “The stress isn’t good for my baby”. He’s such an
ass.
I drove home (King Pin’s house)
**********
I searched for something to wear tonight, I haven’t shopped in a while. I went through my
wardrobe, some of my dresses were a bit small – I’m gaining weight. Luckily I had a freakum
dress which fitted perfectly fine. I chose the black freakum dress and gold stilettos with pointy
spiky design on the stiletto. I laid my outfit on my bed, I reached for my jewellery box, I took out
my necklace. My outfit looked good, I went to watch tv.

@ 7PM
King Pin arrived home, I was already dressed in my beautiful outfit. I had make up on and I was
looking hot.
“Woah! You’re looking sizzling hot”, he complimented.
“Thanks”, I blushed.
He touched my waist. His strong hands were firmly holding me. He kissed my neck.
“You smell good – you always smell good”, he complimented.
I was busy on my phone. I was talking to Adelphe.
“Let’s take a trip to my bedroom”, he said.
I was busy texting, I didn’t answer him. He grabbed my ass.
“Hey, stop”, I said – I was still texting.
“I like grabbing your ass. You never tell me to stop”, he said.
“I’m busy”, I said.
“Stop texting – let’s go to my room”, he nagged.
“Stop nagging”, I said.
He jokingly grabbed my phone. He took out my phone battery.
“Let’s go have a quickie”, he laughed.
“That’s not funny, why did you do that?”, I tried not to get pissed.
“Let’s go to my room”, he made a puppy face.
“Cute – but it won’t work”, I said.
“Please”, he puffed his cheeks like a child.
“Don’t do that”, I laughed.
“Let me go shower. I’m going to shower, do you want to join me?”
“King Pin, really?”
“Let’s take a trip to my bedroom”
“You’re a joker, you know that?”
“I get that all the time. Where are you going?”
“Out”
“Out? With who?”
“A group of friends”
“Oh, okay”
“We’re going to have a good time”
“Enjoy”
“I will – I can’t wait to see my boys”
“Oh”
“They missed me – I’ll probably give all of them a kiss on the lips – ”
“This is funny. Sorry”
“What’s funny? The fact that I’m going out with my boys? Or that I’m going to kiss them on the
lips?”
“Everything. Look, obviously you’re trying to make me jealous. It didn’t work”
“I’m not trying to make you jealous”
“You can kiss them on the lips, I don’t mind”
“Oh really?”
“Yeah Nosipho, unlike you I’m not a clingy boyfriend”
“Boyfriend?”
“Uhm…you know what I meant”
“King Pin?”
“What? I’m your boy friend, well, guy friend. You know these things”
“Oh well, don’t miss me, okay?”
“Oh please, Nosipho. I’m also going out”
“Okay”
“I’m going to Foxy’s house. Maybe I should give her a kiss on the lips too – ”
“Stop it!”
“I’m joking – I was just trying to get to you”
“It’s not funny”
“Sorry”
“It’s not funny King Pin”
“I was just trying to get to you”
“Don’t touch me”
“Come on, I’m going out though. I’m having a night out with the boys. I was forced to come. Me,
Antonio, that nigga Raymond and Jeff are going out. I heard Antonio talk about bowling, how
whack is that?”
“How are things between you and Raymond?”
“Still the same, we’re just tolerating each other for the sake of the new business venture”
“I think you guys are going to be friends again”
“Trust me, in this business nothing can be resolved after a bowling match”
“I think this new business venture is not a coincidence”
“Well, I don’t really care. I just want to be civil with the guy for the sake of the new business
venture”
“Okay”
“I didn’t ask, where are you and your ‘boys’ going?”
“Phoenix”
“Oh”
“The party starts at 8pm, I better be early”
“Drive well”
“I will”

I went to my bedroom and I took my purse. I took my car keys which were on the dressing table.
I left the house.
I drove to Phoenix, it’s been a long time.
*********
I got to the club, it was packed. I went to the VIP section where Adelphe, Kwame, Uche,
Hakeem, Rashidi, Mbali and oh boy, Linda were seated. There were new strippers and same
old ballers.
“Can we all toast to reuniting with a long lost friend, Nosipho?”, Kwame lifted his glass up.
It was super awkward for Rashidi and Linda, I could tell but they played along. Everyone lifted
their glass, I took an empty bottle and lifted it.
“Cheers”, we all said.
“Tonight is going to be a good night”, Hakeem said.
“I don’t wanna drink tonight guys”, I said.
“Booooo!!! Party pooper”, Kwame screamed.
“We will buy the booze, you don’t have to worry about a thing”, said Uche.
“I’m serious guys, I don’t want to drink tonight”, I said.
“Why not?”, asked Adelphe.
“You don’t have to force her if she doesn’t want to drink”, said Linda.
“It’s okay, you can drink your energy drink”, said Hakeem.
“The building is packed, am I a magician or what?”, Rashidi admired himself.
“Yeah buddy, you’re a magician”, said Kwame.

Me, Mbali and Uche went to dance on the dance floor. The dance floor was renewed, it really
looked nice and sparkly.
When I was tired of dancing, I went back to the VIP section. Linda was sitting there with her legs
crossed.
“I just find it funny”, she said out of the blue.
“What?”, I was confused.
“Mbali slept with Antonio when you and Tony were dating. But you still laugh with her. I don’t get
it – if you can forgive her for sleeping with your man, why can’t you forgive me for hiding a
secret from you?”, she asked.
“It’s not that”, I said.
“You slept with my man, I’m the one who’s suppose to act the way you’re acting towards me”,
she expressed.
“I forgave you long time ago, but I don’t want to be your friend”, I said.
“I can’t force friendship, that’s who I am. If you don’t want to be my friend, it’s okay”, she said.
I kept quite.
“Just know where you come from. Just know who made all of this possible for you”, she said.
“I know where I come from, I made all of this possible for myself”, I replied.
“Stop lying to yourself. If it weren’t for me, you would be stuck in that village”, she said.
“I wanted to ask you this; what you did to me – does it have anything to do with Bandile?”, I
asked her.
She looked shocked.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”, she lied.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you knew my brother?”, I asked.
“Why didn’t your brother tell you she knew me?”, she asked.
“It was my first time seeing you in the village. Where did you meet my brother?”
“I don’t have to answer this”
“You dated him, right?”
“No…”
“Don’t lie – ”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about”
“Linda – I’m going to get to the bottom of this. I’m going to find out the truth and I’m going to
expose you. You’re so fake”
She left. Rashidi came to the VIP section, he had a drink in hand. He looked at Linda who was
walking fast, he raised his eyebrow.
“What was that about?”, he asked.
“You don’t want to know, trust me”, I was pissed.
“Oh, female drama – count me out. I don’t want to know”, he sipped his drink.
“Where’s Mbali?”, I asked.
“She is…she is somewhere there…oh, there”, he pointed.

I went to Mbali, she was dancing.

“This party is off the hinges”, she said.
“Someone spoilt my night”, I said.
“Don’t let that shit get to you, okay? We’re going to dance until the roof comes off”, she said.
Kwame came, he dragged us to the dance floor. There was a circle and people took turns
dancing inside that circle – it reminded me of high school.
The time was 1am, I was so tired. My battery was low. I didn’t drink that night but I had mad fun.
Mbali was so drunk, I lost count the number of times she fell. I went out to the parking lot and I
got into my car.
I drove away swiftly. As I was driving in the dark, I saw someone wearing black. I held onto my
brakes – my car wheels squeaked. I nearly drove over someone. I was breathing heavily. I
drove my car slowly.
Ten minutes later there was mist, I couldn’t see probably. The mist got worse, it was windy too. I
was scared – I stopped the car. I heard someone playing drums. I saw someone walking
towards me, I noticed it was a woman. She was playing drums. I was scared, I couldn’t see her
face. She threw the drum, it hit my car window and it cracked. I reversed the car, she jumped on
my car, I screamed. She kept hitting my window with her elbow. I drove the car fast, she fell and
I drove over her. I could feel my car driving over her, it was like it went over the bumper. I cried.
As soon as I got to King Pin’s house, I knocked like a mad woman. He opened the door, I went
inside.
“What’s going on?”, he asked.
“There was mist and wind then I saw this woman playing drums. She threw the drums and my
window cracked. She started hitting my window with her elbow, I ran over her”, I was shaking.
“Did you kill her?”, he asked.
“I don’t know”, I replied.
“Jeez! Nosipho!”, he exclaimed.
He opened the door.
“Where are you going?”, I asked him.
“I’m going to check on your car”, he said.
He went out to check on my car. I waited in the kitchen, I was nervous.
He came back.
“Are you sure the woman threw a drum and cracked your window?”, he asked.
“Yes, I was driving. My window cracked”, I said.
“No, Nosipho, no, no, no”, he said.
“What? I saw the woman, really!”, I shouted.

I went out, he followed me.

My car looked like nothing happened. There was no crack, I was so shocked.
“See?”, he pointed.
“I can’t believe this”, I said.
“I can’t believe it too”, he left.
I went inside the house, he locked the door.
“Did you smoke?”, he asked.
“Do I smoke?”, I asked him.
“I’m just asking”, he laughed.
“This isn’t funny, I nearly died”, I said.
“I’m going to sleep, good night”, he said.
“Can I sleep with you?”, I asked.
“You can”, he permitted.

I slept on King Pin’s bed. I was scared.

**********
I didn’t experience any bad dreams. I slept peacefully. In the morning I noticed King Pin was not
in bed, this was starting to be a habit for him. I heard him speaking to someone in the lounge. I
got out of bed and I wore my gown and slippers. When I opened the bedroom door, I saw King
Pin and Foxy talking.
“Hey Nosi”, greeted King Pin.
I mumbled a “hey”. I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Foxy kept giggling like a school
girl with a crush.
I didn’t want to cause a scene. I made myself cereals and I went to sit in the lounge. I watched
tv, I didn’t pay attention to whatever they were doing. Foxy kept getting louder and louder, she
wanted me to react but I didn’t. I was pissed though. King Pin went to answer a phone call
outside.
“I heard you’re hanging at Phoenix again”, she said.
“Is that a crime?”, I asked.
“I didn’t say it was a crime”, she responded.
“What are you doing here?”, I asked.
“Is coming here a crime?”, she asked.
I kept quite.
“We have the same taste in men, I should say. From Raymond to Antonio and now King Pin.
You love my leftovers”, she laughed.
I kept quite.
“King Pin must be feeding you, look at you. You’ve gained weight”, she said.
I was getting tired of her.
“You’re a visitor here, you should respect me”, I said.
“You’re also a visitor, remember? This is King Pin’s house”, she snapped.
“Go to hell”, I said.
“I’ll meet you there”, she replied.

I stood up and I slapped her. She fought back – we were fighting. I pinned her down and I
punched her, King Pin saw us fighting.
“What the fuck?”, he separated us.
“Your bitch just attacked me”, Foxy cried.
“You deserve it, bitch!”, I shouted.
“Stop”, King Pin held me.
“And you’re living with this psycho bitch? This slut?”, Foxy was angry.
“Calm the fuck down, ladies!”, King Pin yelled.
“I’m a slut? You’re a walking STI!”, I screamed.
“Hey, we talked about this”, King Pin said to me.
Foxy left angrily. King Pin was pissed.
“Why do you always do that?”, he asked.
“She started, I swear I was quite. She attacked me”, I defended myself.
“I don’t want to hear it, why are you always looking for trouble? I don’t get you”, he said.
“Fuck you, King Pin!”, I shouted.
“I’m not Foxy”, he pointed his finger at me.
“Don’t point your finger at me”, I said.
“I’m going to point my finger at you”, he kept pointing his finger.
“I’m tired of your foolishness”, I pushed him.

I made him more angry, he rushed towards me. I knew he was going to get physical because
the look on his eyes said it all. I ran to my room. He pushed the door, he was so powerful. He
managed to get in, he dragged me by my hair. I was crying. He let go off my hair, I punched him
– he pushed me. With great force, I slammed my back against the wall and fell.
“You want me to get physical with you?”, he asked.
I was crying.
“You bring out the worst in me. I try Nosipho, I try my best to be good to you. I haven’t touched
alcohol for 36 hours, 36 motherfuckin’ hours. I did it for you and my child. Why should I change
if you keep bringing the old me?”, he asked.
I was crying but all of a sudden I couldn’t hear myself cry. Everything was mute, I could see
King Pin talking but I couldn’t make out what he was saying. I started shaking, I was getting
weak at the same time. I closed my eyes, when I opened my eyes I was laying in the forest. I
stood up, I looked around – I was in the middle of nowhere.
“Nosipho”, a man with a painted face called my name. This man’s face was painted black. I
couldn’t tell who he was.
“Who are you?”, I asked him.
“Follow me”, he said.
“No”, I said.
“Nosipho, follow me”, he said with a firm voice.
“No. Where are you taking me? Where is this place? Who are you?”, I was panicking.
“I said, follow me”, he said.

I slowly took steps back.

“Where are you going?”, he asked.
I ran – he didn’t chase me. He just looked at me. As I was running, I saw him in front of me, I
bumped into him and I fell.
“I said, follow me”, he said.
“Where are you taking me?”, I asked.
“Just follow me”, he led the way.
I had no choice, I followed him.

We got to another place. It was a small village with no more than ten huts.
“Enter that hut”, he pointed to a big white hut.

I slowly made my way to the hut. I saw a sangoma sitting with her face down.
“Why am I here?”, I asked her.
She stood up. She spread her arms and made fists. She jumped up and down, her face was
still facing down. I looked around the hut, I saw a beautiful mirror. I looked at the mirror, I saw
someone behind me. I quickly looked behind me and no one was there. I looked at the mirror
again and I saw nothing. The woman stopped jumping up and down, she looked at me. We
were face to face. The woman was my mother, my eyes widened. She strangled me.
“Mom, mom! Stop it”, I wrestled her strong grip.
I collapsed, my eyes were shut. I opened them again, I was in hospital. I panicked, I felt a hand
touching my shoulder, I screamed.
“Don’t worry, it’s me”, King Pin said.

I don’t know how I got here.

Part 22: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

“What am I doing here King Pin?”, I asked him.

“I pushed you and you fell. You started shaking uncontrollably and I called the ambulance”, he
said. Shame was written all over his face.
I touched my neck.
“I’m sorry”, he apologised.
“Is my neck red? Or does it look like someone strangled me?”, I asked him.
He looked at me with a confused face.
“Your neck is fine”, he said.
We were both quite. He broke the silence.
“Can you still remember what I told you?”, he asked.
“What?”, I asked him.
“You bring the worse in me, blah, blah, blah”, he said.
“Oh, yes I can”, I responded.
“I meant it”
“I can’t do this anymore”
“What are you trying to say?”
“King Pin…I think we should give each other a break”
“I guess”
“We should before we end up killing each other”
“And the baby”
“Yes, and the baby”
“Where are you going to stay?”
“At a friend’s house”
“One of your ‘boys’ house?”
“Maybe”
“Oh”
“Can I tell you something?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you so much, it turns to hate sometimes”
He smiled.
“I know you don’t like me but love me. You just can’t express your feelings”
“Love?”
“Yes, what’s wrong King Pin?”
“I don’t know”
“What don’t you know?”
“I don’t know what I don’t know”
“If you say so”
“I feel like sometimes you want to hear something totally different”
“Like what?”
“Come on Nosipho, you know what I’m talking about”
“If I knew I wouldn’t ask you”
“You know – ”
“Whatever”

The doctor came, he discharged me. He gave me vitamins. King Pin drove me to his house.

When I got to King Pin’s house, I started packing my clothes immediately. King Pin went to his
club. I drove to Martin’s house.

I knocked on Martin’s door. He opened the door.

“Hey Nosipho, come in”, he welcomed me in.
“Thank you, how are you?”, I asked.
“I’m alright, how are things going your side?”, he asked.
“Okay – I guess”, I said as I went to the lounge.
“You guess?”, he asked.
“I need your help Martin”
“I’m listening…”
“I need a place to live in for a while”
“What’s wrong? I thought you were living with your boyfriend King Pin”
“King Pin isn’t my boyfriend”
“Why are you moving out? You’re tired of King Pin’s tantrums?”
“No, I just want to give him space”
“So you guys had a fight?”
“Uhm…not really”
“Look, I don’t care why you moved out of King Pin’s house. You can move in”
“You’re a good friend, thank you”
“That’s what friends are for, right?”
I gave Martin a big hug.
“Do you mind if I move in today?”, I asked.
“Why not? Of course”, I replied.
I was happy that I was moving in with Martin. He’s the coolest guy ever, he doesn’t have much
drama.

I drove to King Pin’s house. I took my suitcases and I left.

I can’t wait to live with Martin.

**********
Five hours after I moved in at Martin’s house, that crazy girl showed up. Martin was away, he
went to buy dinner.
“What are you doing here?”, she asked.
“What are you doing here?”, I asked.
She went to the kitchen and she came back with a beer in her hand.
“I live here”, she said.
“What? You said you were homeless. Why did you want to live at King Pin’s house then?”, I
asked.
“I don’t know”, she shrugged her shoulders.
“The last time we saw each other, you threatened me”, I said.
“I did? Were you scared?”, she asked.
“No, no…of course not”, I said.
“What are you doing at my brother’s house? You’re not bed hopping, are you?”
“I’m not a slut!”
“Don’t jump to conclusions”
“You said ‘brother’, is Martin your brother?”
“He’s my cousin brother”
“Are you kidding me?”
“No. Bitch, K1 is being frank”
“Now I know what’s up”
“What are you talking about?”
“Nothing”
“Mxm”
“Were you really working for King Pin?”
“Yeah”
“How was it?”
“Working with him or the job?”
“Both”
“Working with him was alright. The job was okay”
“Why did you sell your body when your cousin brother has enough money to take care of both
of you?”
“We had issues – which I don’t want to talk about”
“Martin doesn’t like King Pin – ”
“So?”
“Didn’t he get angry when he found out he was your pimp?”
“No”
“Oh – ”
“I’m a grown ass woman, I can make my own decisions. I don’t care if people approve or
disapprove”
“Do you know Foxy? She is your cousin’s ex girlfriend”
“Natasha?”
“Yes”
“I know her, she’s the biggest bitch ever”
“You can say that again”
“How do you know her?”
“I met her at Club Phoenix, we were strippers back then. We’re no longer friends though”
“Oh, we were never friends. I also met her at Club Phoenix. I was a stripper too”
“You said you’re no longer friends with her, what happened?”
“Many things happened. I feel as if she always wants to do what I’m doing. She’s always
invading my space, I don’t know what’s wrong with her. When I was living with King Pin, she
was always the. Her fucked up relationship with Martin ended and it’s like she was trying to end
what me and King Pin had. I know she has a school girl crush on King Pin!”
“Is that the reason why you’re here? Are you going to let Foxy ruin your relationship with KP?”
“No, I just want to give King Pin some space – we both need some space”
 “Give KP an opportunity to be in bed with her? Obviously you’re out of the picture, if she has a
crush on KP – don’t you think she will use this time to put her plan into action? I hate that bitch
but I have to admit, she’s sexy. Do you think KP will say no to her?”
“King Pin wants to change, he would never do that”
“KP? The baddest boy in Johustleburg? You don’t know him”
“No, you don’t know him”
“KP is like most men, he lies and cheats. Do you think he will say no to her?”
“Yes”
“Then you’re lying to yourself. I’m sure KP is fucking that bitch right now”
“He’s probably working”
“KP will stick his dick to every hole he sees in front of him”
“No he doesn’t”
“So you think you’re the only meal on the menu?”
“I’m not a meal – ”
“KP is crazy, funny, charming, cocky and some women find that sexy. Word on the streets, he’s
good in bed”
“King Pin values the relationship he has with me. Behind that tough guy persona he puts out,
he’s actually a good guy”
“I don’t see what people see in KP, he’s nothing but an arrogant jerk. He disrespects women,
he’s rude and he thinks he can get anything he wants”
“Whatever”
“He was my boss but he’s an ass and he knows it”

Martin arrived with takeaways. We all ate. K1 is crazy, she’s like the female version of King Pin.

Later that evening, K1 left, she went to party with her friends.

I stayed home with Martin, we watched a movie. Martin even made popcorns. King Pin sent me
an SMS saying he wants to see me, I didn’t respond to his SMS.

“Why didn’t I move in long time ago? If this is the way a guest is treated”, I said.
“Nah, you’re my friend”, Martin looked shy.
“What’s wrong?”, I asked.
“Nothing”, he said – I could see something was bothering him.
“You have the worst poker face, do you know that? Tell me, please”, I begged.
“I have a lot of questions”, he said.
“About me moving in?”, I asked.
“And that too”, he said.
“Ask me”
“Let’s rather watch the movie, maybe I’ll ask you next time”
“What if there is no next time?”
“Nah, it’s alright”
“Please ask me”
“It’s okay”
“Martin, please”
“It’s okay, Nosipho”
“Okay”

We watched the movie, I knew he wanted to ask me whatever he wanted to ask but I think he
was a bit shy.
He’s a good friend.
*********
We were laughing so hard, the movie was really funny. It’s good to laugh again.
“This guy is insane”, Martin laughed.

There was a kissing scene and it was a bit awkward. I was sitting in the same couch as Martin,
we both were sharing a blanket. From the corner of my eye, I could see he was looking at me as
he took sips of beer. It was awkward.
“Why did you really leave his house?”, he asked.
“I told you, we need space”, I said.
“Why do you guys need space from each other?”, he sipped his beer.
“We argue a lot and that’s not healthy”, I said. The questions were uncomfortable.
“What do all these guys have that I don’t have?”
“I’m lost…”
“Raymond, Antonio and King Pin”
“Why are you asking me that?”
“I’m just asking”
“Nothing”
“Or maybe you’re into bad boys?”
“I thought we were friends”
“You only see me as a friend?”
“Duh”
“You don’t have feelings, nothing?”
“I do have feelings for you but not romantic feelings. You’re like the big brother I never had.
You’re kind, you’re extremely cool and a chilled guy”
“Oh”
“I’m sorry Martin”
“It’s okay”
“No it’s not okay”
“That’s all I wanted to know, are you happy now?”
“I’m happy that you asked the questions you wanted to know. You’re a good friend Martin”
“You’re a good friend too, Nosipho”
“Where are you going?”
“I need to pee”
“Okay”

I felt sorry for the guy but I’m not going to say ‘yes’ to every guy that likes me. He’s the coolest
guy I know in Johannesburg, I don’t even know why he’s in this business. It doesn’t suit him. I
couldn’t carry on watching the movie, I was sleepy and I think it would be more awkward if I
stick around. I went to my bedroom, on my way there I told Martin that I was going to sleep.
When I was on my bed, I rubbed my tummy for the first time. I couldn’t believe a human being
was growing inside me. Bringing life onto earth is one of the things that make women more
powerful. Women might not be the most praised human beings on earth but I think the earth will
be nothing without women. I closed my eyes and I visioned how the future will be with my baby.
Martin knocked on my bedroom door.
“Come in”, I said.
“I just wanted to say good night”, he said.
“Okay, good night”, I said.
He smiled and closed the door.

I went to sleep. I didn’t have any bad dreams. I slept peacefully like a baby.
In the morning, Martin was the first to wake up. My phone had many missed calls from King Pin.
I made myself breakfast, I don’t know why King Pin keeps SMSing and calling me. I returned his
calls but his phone was on voicemail. Well, I tried.
“Where’s K1?”, I asked Martin.
“Maybe she’s at a friend’s house”, he replied.
“She didn’t come back?”, I asked.
“Yeah – she does that all the time”, he said.

Wow.
**********
I already had my breakfast, I was watching tv while Martin was getting dressed in his room.
Suddenly I heard someone screaming my name, I looked out the window and I saw King Pin.
Martin came out of his bedroom, he looked out the window.
“What is this asshole doing here?”, he asked me.
“I don’t know”, I ran to the door.
King Pin opened the gate violently.
“One of your boys’ house? Is Martin your ‘boy’?”, he was angry.
“Calm down, Martin is my friend”, I said.
“Get out of here”, Martin said calmly.
“Shut up, I’m talking to my girl”, King Pin said to Martin.
“King Pin what are you doing here? I told you we need some space”, I said.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were moving with him? Why would you live with him?”, he asked.
“How many times must I tell you? Martin is my friend”, I was getting annoyed.
“Let’s go home Nosipho”, he ordered.
“I can’t – we agreed that we need space from each other”, I said.
“Let’s go!”, he shouted.
“Hey man, are you deaf? She doesn’t want to leave”, Martin defended me.

King Pin held my hand and he dragged me.

“King Pin, no! King Pin!”, I panicked.
He stopped and he let go off my hand.
“Are you crazy?”, Martin was pissed.
“Fuck you bitch ass nigga, don’t involve yourself. It’s between me and my girlfriend”, King Pin
yelled.
Wow, so I’m his girlfriend now? I couldn’t believe what I heard. I sort of admired how the word
‘girlfriend’ flowed out of his mouth. This is all what I wanted to hear but the timing was so wrong.
“I thought you said he was just a friend”, Martin said to me.
I shrugged my shoulders.
“Nosipho I can’t fucking let you stay with this man. He hates my guts, I know you don’t want to
live with me right now. Fuck the space, I don’t care. We have a lot of problems but we can’t
expect living apart to solve those problems. We need to face our problems together. I’m doing
this for our baby”, King Pin voiced out.
I couldn’t believe he just let the cat out of the bag. This was suppose to be a secret.
“You’re pregnant?”, Martin was surprised.
I didn’t respond, I just looked down.
“You’re carrying his child?”, Martin asked again.
“Nosipho, get your clothes and let’s go”, King Pin ordered.
“I told you King Pin, we need space”, I said.
“Leave my yard”, Martin pushed King Pin.
After Martin shove King Pin, all hell broke lose. King Pin punched Martin, the next thing they
were fighting. They are both powerful men and I couldn’t stop them. What stopped the fight was
the sound of police siren.
The police van stopped at Martin’s place, now King Pin and Martin were both scared. I was
confused. Foxy came out of the van, she entered the yard with two officers.
“Nosipho Ndamase you’re under arrest for assaulting Natasha Dlamini”, the policeman said.
Foxy had a swollen lip and her nose had a plaster.
“She assaulted me too”, I defended myself.
Martin went inside his house, he closed his door. I could hear him locking the door.

“Foxy, are you being for real?”, asked King Pin.

“We had a fight”, I told the policeman.
“She pressed assault charges against you”, the policeman said.
“She assaulted me too though”, I said.
“Let’s go”, Foxy told the two policemen.
They left.
“Thanks”, I thanked King Pin.
His nose was bleeding.
“Let me help you with that”, I tried to wipe his bloody nose but he just walked away.

I stood there and I watched him drive away. Martin’s door was closed, I knocked, he didn’t
answer me. I kept shouting his name but he didn’t answer. I can understand, he has every right
to be mad at me. K1 even arrived.
“Where’s Martin?”, she asked.
“He’s inside”, I replied.
“Martin open the door, is he sleeping?”, she asked.
“No, he just had a fight with King Pin minutes earlier”, I said.
“What? Is he okay?”
“I don’t know, he doesn’t want to open the door”
“It’s all your fault”
“How is it my fault? I didn’t tell King Pin to come here”
Martin opened the door a few minutes later. When I walked in, I saw my suitcase.
“You attract so much drama, I don’t need you here. I’m sorry”, Martin said.
“Are you kidding me?”, I asked.
“You have to leave now”, he said.
“I thought we were friends”, I said.
“I thought we were friends too. Why didn’t you tell me you’re pregnant with King Pin’s baby?”, he
asked.
“What? I knew you were a sneaky bitch”, K1 added her two cents.
 I took my suitcase and I left immediately. I thought my friendship with Martin was strong. I drove
away.
I sent Mbali an SMS, I told her to meet me at Bill’s Place, a small restaurant.
I drove to Bill’s Place, I parked outside and I waited for Mbali. I waited for hours, I thought she
wasn’t coming, I was starting to give up. I wanted to leave but she arrived.
“I was in varsity, I had double classes”, she said.
“Alright”, I said.
“How are you?”, she asked.
“I’m sick and tired of men that come in my life and think they can do whatever”, I said.
“Who wronged you?”, she asked.
“Today was really dramatic. It was like I was in a movie scene. I was living with Martin because I
had some issues with King Pin. Out of the blue King Pin arrives, he causes a scene, the next
thing he’s fighting with Martin. The police came, Foxy pressed assault charges against me but
the police didn’t arrest me, thanks god. Now Martin kicked me out of his house, he says I attract
drama”, I said.
“Woah, friend, that’s dramatic. What are you going to do now?”
“Do I have a choice? I must go back to King Pin”
“You don’t need him”
“I do need him, Mbali. He takes care of me”
“You’ve been through a lot, you don’t want another guy to fuck up your life”
“My life is already fucked up”
“But this is your chance to turn your life around”
“I don’t have money, I’m broke ass hell”
“Find a job”
“It’s not easy”
“Nosipho you’re just making up excuses”
“No I’m not. You won’t understand what I’m going through”
“Make me understand”
“No, you wouldn’t”
“Try me”
“Mbali, I don’t have my own place. I don’t have a job, I’m going through a very rough patch with
King Pin and I’m carrying his baby”
“What?”
“Yep”
“Oh my goodness, Nosipho. I don’t know if I can congratulate you”
“I’m going through hell, you wouldn’t understand”
“I guess, congratulations? I don’t know what to say, wow. You’re pregnant, you’re right, I
wouldn’t understand what you’re going through. Wow, it must be hell”
“It is – for now”
“I know you’re going to pull through”
“Yes”
“You’re going to be fine. You’re a strong beautiful girl. You deserve good, you deserve a man
that will respect you and love you for who you are inside”
“You’re right”
“It’s not too late to change. I broke up with Rashidi, I’m focusing on my books right now. I live in
my own tiny flat, I’m doing great things for myself”
“That’s good to hear”

I was proud of Mbali, she looked like the Mbali I met months ago. She looked free, she looked
innocent again. I do want to change but in order for me to change I want to go back to my past
and forgive the people that wronged me. I want to give birth to my child knowing there’s no
drama. I want to be a totally different person when I hold that baby for the first time.
I know I can.
**********
It was good talking to Mbali. I drove to King Pin’s club. As I was entering, I saw Raymond
coming out of the club. I saw Antonio’s car parked outside, I knew they had a meeting. They’re
working on a new business venture together.
“Hey Nosi”, Raymond greeted.
“Hey Ray…mond”, I greeted back.
“You’re looking good”, he complimented.
“Thanks”, it was awkward.
“See you this evening”, he said.
“Excuse me?”, I was confused.
“Antonio invited me, Linda, King Pin and you to have dinner in the sky”, he said.
“Oh”, I didn’t know.
“I thought King Pin told you”, he said.
“Maybe he forgot”, I said.
“Alright, see you there”, he walked away.

I walked in and Antonio walked out. He smiled and waved, I waved back. I went to King Pin’s
office.

“Do you know how proud of you I am when you said ‘my girlfriend’?”, I walked in and took a
seat.
He didn’t respond, he was typing on his laptop.
“When I was coming here, I met Raymond. He told me Antonio organised a dinner in the sky”, I
said.
“Yeah”, he mumbled.
“You didn’t tell me”, I said.
“If you answered my calls, you would’ve known”, he said.
“I’m sorry”, I apologised.
“I’m sorry too – I’m feel sorry for you”, he said.
“I want to move in with you. We can make this work for the sake of the baby”, I said.
He laughed.
“So now you want to move in? What happened? Your ‘boy’ kicked you out?”, he asked.
“You’d rather see me sleep on the street then?”, I asked.
“I didn’t say that. I’m going to accept you back but I’m not doing it for you, I’m doing it for my
child”, he said.
“Okay”
“Tonight we have to go to that dinner thingy”
“Dinner in the sky”
“Yes that”

It was good to talk to King Pin again without fighting. He took me to a dress shop where I bought
a very beautiful dress. I looked like a princess.
I spent the afternoon getting ready for dinner in the sky. King Pin had beautiful suits in his
wardrobe.
“King Pin, you never told me your real name”, I said.
“You want to know my real name?”, he asked.
“Yes”, I replied.
“My real name is Sexy Man”, he joked.
“Come on”
“Mr Sexy Man”
“Please”
“Okay, Thando Dlomo”
“Wow, Thando”
“But I prefer you call me King Pin”
“Where’s your family?”
“I don’t have a family”
“Come on, even animals have a family”
“I don’t like to talk about my family”
“Why?”
“You ask a lot of questions”
“I swear I’ll never ask you these questions again”
“My family is in Durban”
“Okay”
“My mom’s parents wanted my mom to marry some guy but my mom didn’t like the guy. She
met a xhosa man and she fell in love with him and that’s how I was born”
“What happened to your dad?”
“After my mom found out she was pregnant, she was afraid. She told her mom and her family
told her to marry the guy – ”
“The zulu guy?”
“Yes, she married the zulu guy and she lied to him and said the baby was his. The poor man
found out I wasn’t his child and he divorced my mom. When I was young, my mom went to live
with my real dad – the xhosa guy. The man passed away. I was too young, I can’t remember
how he looks like. I was about a month old, I don’t know. My mom’s family turned their back on
my mom. She moved to Johannesburg and I lived most of my life here. During school holidays I
went to my mom’s parents – they accepted me, they had no choice because I was their
grandson. But my mom’s relationship with her parents was never the same again”
“Where’s your mom now?”
“In heaven”
“I’m so sorry – ”
“It’s okay, but I’m angry at her for not telling me more about my dad”
“Do you know your dad’s name and surname?”
“I wish. But I made peace with it, long time ago. All I know is that my real dad was a xhosa
man”
“And you met a xhosa girl”
“Yes, a beautiful xhosa girl”

Now I know a bit more about King Pin.

We got ready for the dinner in the sky. We were dressed to impress. My King was looking
handsome in his suit.
I hope tonight ends well, because my day started on a dramatic note.

Part 23: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

Dinner in the sky is always good, the view is magnificent. I was sitting next to King Pin, Linda
and Raymond were sitting opposite us. Antonio was sitting in the far end, he didn’t have a date
and that didn’t bother him. I won’t lie, the atmosphere was very tense and I was so
uncomfortable.
“Do you know if you get married to this man, he’s going to annoy you for the rest of your life?”,
Antonio joked with Linda.
Linda laughed.
“I love him”, Linda responded.
Raymond kissed Linda on the cheek.
King Pin looked like he wasn’t in the mood. He kept downing wine and eating.
“Are you alright?”, I whispered in his ears.
He nodded his head.
“How’s your relationship with King Pin going?”, asked Linda.
“Fine”, I responded.
“Just fine?”, she asked.
“What do you want it to be?”, I asked.
“I’m excited about the new business venture. I must say, good work guys”, Antonio changed the
subject.
“I’m happy, although me and Pin are not buddy-buddy – I’m happy on the turn out”, said
Raymond.
King Pin didn’t say anything, he just lifted his glass, faked smile and winked.
I give it up to Antonio though, he really wants King Pin and Raymond to be friends again. I think
they need time but I don’t trust Raymond because he once approached me to help him bring
King Pin down. I don’t know if he still wants to bring him down.

“You are all invited to our wedding. We’re still planning on a date”, said Raymond.
“That’s a second invitation for me but I’ll accept it”, said Antonio.
“Raymond can I ask you something?”, asked King Pin.

Oh boy!

“Yeah”, responded Raymond.

“Why are poaching my customers?”, asked King Pin.
“What, what are you talking about?”, stuttered Raymond.
“Come on, nigga, you know what I’m talking about”, said King Pin.
“If you don’t tell me, how would I know?”, Raymond expressed.
“I know you’re a bookie man, I’m a bookie too but when you enter another man’s territory, then
you’re looking for war”, said King Pin.
It was my first time hearing this.
“Your customers are coming to me. There’s something you’re not doing right, bro”, said
Raymond.
“Bullshit! Nigga I know what you’re up to. Why you always have to be my tail though?”, King Pin
was angry.
“Gentlemen, take it easy”, Antonio tried to calm them down.
“No, Antonio. Stay out of this man. You know what? I can’t sit here and act like everything is
okay. I’m a real nigga, I’m hardcore as fuck! I’m saying this in front of all these people, you’re
fake”, King Pin yelled.
It was really embarrassing.
Linda whispered something in Raymond’s ear and Raymond didn’t respond to King Pin.
“Sit here with a fake ass nigga? Be on some, ‘excuse me, thank you, pardon me, sorry’ shit?
Sing motherfuckin’ khumbaya and act like all is well? Lower this shit, you all can enjoy your
dinner in the sky alone. Babe are you coming? Raymond you’re a fake nigga”, King Pin was
acting like a mad man.
“Calm down babe”, I said.
“Lower this shit”, King Pin yelled.
Dinner in the sky turned to mad lunatic ranting in the sky.

We were on the ground, King Pin got out.

“Yo Nosipho are you coming or nah?”, he asked.
I didn’t respond, I was angry and embarrassed.
“I’m leaving now, you can ride on Antonio’s car”, he left.
“Your man is a lunatic”, said Raymond.
“Why didn’t you say that when he was here?”, I asked Raymond.
“Wouldn’t that be adding fuel to the fire?”, asked Linda.
“I wasn’t talking to you”, I told Linda. I looked at Raymond and said, “You’re really fake and you
know why I’m saying that”.
“I’m tired of you Nosi, you’re not perfect! Stop the act!”, Linda yelled out of the blue.
“I’m not perfect and I don’t aim to be”, I said.
“Let’s go Linda”, said Raymond.
“Go bitch!”, I yelled.
“I’ll beat your ass, I swear. I’ve let you bully me for too long. I’m tired of apologising to you and
trying hard to please you”, said Linda.
“Tell him Linda”, I said.
“Fuck off!”, Linda yelled.
“Tell him about my brother”, I said.
“What is she talking about?”, asked Raymond.
“Let’s just go sweety, this girl is insane”, Linda left with Raymond.
“I’m not done with you Linda. You and your man are fake, fong kong”, I said.
Antonio was in his car the whole time. I went to the car, I opened the door and Antonio looked
upset.
“Are you good?”, I asked him.
“Just buckle up”, he said.
“I’m sorry about what happened earlier but I was angry”, I said.
“Then you have to deal with your anger”, he said.
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me”
“Are you taking their side?”
“Why did you come to this dinner in the sky?”
“You invited King Pin and I was accompanying him”
“Oh, for a second I thought you came to insult people”
“King Pin also did his mini ranting, it’s not all me”
“I will talk to him tomorrow. I don’t know who you are anymore”
“Don’t judge me”
“I’m not, I’m just saying – ”
“You’re not perfect”
“Of course I’m not”
“Don’t make me look bad”
“Can I drive now?”
“Drive”

Antonio was angry. Luckily, he didn’t drive with anger. As he was driving I saw someone
crossing the road.
“STOP!”, I screamed.
Antonio stopped the car, the wheels squeaked.
“What’s wrong?”, he asked.
“Didn’t you see?”, I asked.
“See what?”, he asked again.
“Someone crossing the road. You nearly ran over someone”, I said.
“No, I didn’t see anyone crossing the road”, he said.
“Oh”, I said.

He looked at me in a funny way, he drove the car again. It was dark.

Oh my.
**********
Antonio played the mp3 player, oh boy! He played his boring classical songs. He stopped at the
robots, there were no cars. Suddenly, I felt a cold breeze. I had goose bumps, I didn’t know
what was happening. Antonio took a quick look at me and carried on driving.

We got to King Pin’s house. I thanked Antonio for the ride. I knocked on the door, King Pin
opened the door. I went to the lounge and I saw Foxy.
“I was leaving anyway”, she said.
“Let me help you out”, said King Pin.
I rested on the couch.

King Pin came in and he locked the door.

“She came to give me a file”, he said.
“I didn’t ask”, I said.
“I’m just letting you know, I know you’re going to act all crazy and shit”, he said.
I didn’t respond. King Pin went down on his knees and he kissed me on the cheeks.
“I’m sorry for what happened during dinner”, he apologised.
“Let’s talk about it, tomorrow. I’m tired”, I said.
“I want to squash it today”, he kissed me.
“I’m very sleepy”, I yawned.
“Let’s go sleep, come”, he picked me up.
I slept in his bed. I was really tired.

I had another dream. I was back at home, my mom was sitting outside. I was afraid of her
because the last time the ghost had my mother’s face.
“Come”, my mom said.
“Are you my mom?”, I asked.
“Yes”, she replied.
I sat next to my mother.
“Be careful”, she said.
“Of what?”, I asked.
“Be careful”, she said again.
My mom looked like she was a robot, she didn’t blink.
“Murder. Murder. Murder. Murder”, she kept repeating.
I couldn’t make up what she meant.

I couldn’t.
In the morning, I had a very funny feeling. I wanted to talk to my mother but the telephone
doesn’t work back home. King Pin went to buy some tools at the warehouse and also a cot for
the baby. I heard a knock on the door, I went to open the door and there was Foxy.
“King Pin isn’t home”, I said.
“He’s not?”, she asked.
“Yeah”, I said.
“Oh well, I just came to give him his shirt”, she took out King Pin’s shirt.

I took it his shirt.

“Where did you get it?”, I asked.
“I slept over this week, it was too late to drive. Tell him I had a great night and thank him for
borrowing me his shirt, I didn’t get the chance to thank him”, she bragged.
“You were here last night, you work with him. Why didn’t you thank him yourself?”, I asked her.
“When I’m with him, I’m too busy”, she replied.
“Why are you all over King Pin?”
“He’s my boss, I work for him. What are you talking about?”
“Do you have a school girl crush on him?”
“This is funny”
“Yes or no, Foxy?”
“Of course not”
“Let’s hope so”
“Why are you so threatened by me? Chill, I won’t steal your man. If I wanted to steal your man,
you wouldn’t have been here”
“You wish”
“Do you think King Pin loves you?”
“He does”
“King Pin isn’t a relationship type of guy, he just smashes and leaves”
“Really? Then why am I living here?”
“Pity”
“What did you say?”
“I said pity. King Pin has many girls dancing on his dick, you’re not the only girl”
“You don’t want to see me happy, that’s why you’re saying that”
“I don’t care about your happiness. As long as I make him happy, it’s all good”
“Him?”
“King Pin, my boss”
“Okay, look sweety, King Pin is my boyfriend. Whatever you’re up to, it won’t work. Coming
here every chance you get, that has to stop”
“Or else what?”
“I’m not joking”
“You’re going to beat me? Give me a swollen lip and bruise my nose?”
“Maybe I’ll break your skinny legs, so you can’t walk. Maybe that will stop you from coming
here”
“Nosipho, you’re lucky I dropped the assault charges – ”
“You also assaulted me, you were not doing any favours for me”
“Nosipho, I don’t think you know but let me break something down for you. Awesome ends with
‘me’ and ugly begans with ‘u’. I hope you get that”
“Oh shame, Foxy”

Foxy left. King Pin has a lot of explaining to do.

Mxm.
**********
King Pin came back. I helped him bring the things he bought inside the house. “I bought white
paint because we don’t know the gender of the baby yet, anyway white is for both genders”,
said an enthusiastic King Pin.
“Uhm, babe, Foxy came by earlier”, I said.
King Pin stopped what he was doing.
“What did she want?”, he asked.
“She came to drop off your shirt”, I said.
“Oh yeah, yeah”, he said.
“She said she slept here”, I said.
“Yeah, we had uhm, something to sort out. Business, yes, it was business related”, he said.
“Alright”, I said.
“Alright? Okay. Wow, I thought, oh boy, here comes another argument”
“You have a lot of explaining to do. Let’s just finish packing these things first”
“Uh – what? What explaining? I told you that Foxy slept over because we had to take care of
some business”
“Can we finish packing first?”
“Of course”

We moved everything in the spare room. We will transform the spare room into a baby room.
King Pin was going to set up the cot and paint the room. I was going to help him paint the room
but he didn’t want my help, eish, men and their ego.

He started painting the room, I was next to him as he painted.

“You can relax in the lounge”, he said trying to get rid of me.
“Nice try”, I sarcastically complimented. “I’m guessing you want to interrogate me again?”, he
said.
“It’s not interrogating”, I corrected him. “It is to me”, he said.
“I just want to know the truth”, I looked him in the eye.
“Nosipho, you don’t need to know everything”
“Why?”
“Because you don’t”
“That’s not a good reason”
“I’m trying to paint here, do you mind?”
“Carry on painting. It’s not like you paint with your mouth, right?”
“Eish”
“I didn’t know you were a bookie”
“Now you know”
“Running a strip club, having a drug business on the side, being a pimp and a now a bookie.
How do you manage?”
“For your information, the drug business wasn’t mine and I’m not a pimp right now, someone
else is doing that job for me”
“Why are you so corrupt?”
King Pin laughed.
“Everything I have is my life”, he said.
“I understand but still, you’re involved with the bad guys”, I said.
“Why are you worried all of a sudden?”, he asked.
“I don’t want any problems. I want our baby to live a good life – ”
“The baby will live a perfect life”
“I still feel like I don’t know you”
“That’s your problem then”
“You don’t really open up to me”
“Do you?”
“Uhm, well…”
“Exactly, now please stop with this boring meaningless talk”
“Did you have sex with Foxy while I was away?”
“Did you have sex with Martin?”
“Of course not”
“Same here”
“Why did she bring your shirt?”
“She wore it”
“That means she took off her clothes – ”
“Yeah, she took off her clothes just like any human being would do”
“Why would she borrow your shirt when she can sleep with the clothes was wearing?”
“I don’t know Nosipho, why don’t you give her a call right now and ask her”
“I don’t get the whole meeting at your house thing. Why do you bring business at home? Why
can’t business stay at the office?”
“It’s business”
“Why can’t you guys discuss your business at the club?”
“We do but business is business”
“What’s there to discuss anyway? When I was in the position Foxy is in, there wasn’t anything
serious to discuss”
“Things changed”
“Or maybe you are up to something”
“Like what?”
“You tell me”
“I’m not up to anything. Now do you mind, I want to paint in peace?”
“Ever since I came back, you didn’t show me any affection”
“What? I kissed you last night and we slept in the same bed”
“So…how are you going to deal with Raymond since you guys had an argument?”
“The usual, just fake a smile”
“I hope everything turns out great for the both of you”
“I received an SMS from Antonio. He wants to have a meeting with Raymond and me”
“We all know what that meeting is about”
“Yep but I don’t feel sorry for what I did”

King Pin is an arrogant man but I sometimes think his arrogance is sexy. I went to the lounge
and King Pin carried on what he was doing.
Aaah…
**********
After King Pin was done with the room, he went to shower. The room looked so beautiful and
neat. After King Pin was done showering, I made him something to eat.
“Hmm, looks delicious”, he said.
“You did a great job”, I complimented.
“Oh well, I did it for the baby”, he said.
“Do you love your food?”, I asked.
“Yes”, he replied.
He didn’t look happy though.
“What’s up?”, I asked.
“Nothing”, he replied.
“You must be tired”
“I’m not”

I don’t know what was wrong with King Pin. Minutes later he went to the meeting Antonio
organised. I decided to search the house. I wanted to find anything that would link up to Foxy.
Call me crazy or a jealous bitch but I’m tired of being a pushover. It’s time for me to stand my
ground and fight for what’s mine and King Pin is mine. I searched his room. I didn’t see any
evidence, I just saw a tiny notebook, I threw it across the room because I was angry that I didn’t
bust him. Something told me to check out the notebook, I took the notebook and I opened it. I
saw a list of people’s name and an amount of money written next to their names. The total was
more than a quarter of a million rands. I closed the notebook and I saw ‘bookie funds’ written
outside the book. Wow, I was surprised.
To those who don’t know, someone who facilitates gambling, commonly on
sporting events, by setting odds, accepting and placing bets, and paying out winnings on behalf
of other people. “Bookie” is a slang term for “bookmaker.” Bookies do not usually make their
money by placing bets themselves, but by charging a transaction fee on their customers’ bets
known as a “vigorish,” or “the vig.” Bookies may also lend money to bettors.

@ 6PM
King Pin arrived.
“You back early”, I said.
“Were you expecting a visitor?”, he kissed me on the cheek.
“No”, I replied.
“Let’s go out, celebrate and do what couples do”, he laughed.
“Wow, you’re starting to get romantic, I like it”, I laughed.
“I’m trying”
“What’s the celebration?”
“The baby, we never really celebrated that. Us, the deal I made with Raymond and the rest – ”
“What deal?”
“Raymond is a fake ass nigga. He knew I knew what was up, I exposed his ass. He wants us to
combine our bookie businesses into one. He said I will get 60% and that’s good enough for me”
“Why would Raymond give you a higher percentage?”
“Because I’m King Pin, hello?”
“Anyway, I can’t wait to celebrate with you tonight”
“Me too”
“That’s all I ever wanted”
“To go out for dinner?”
“More like, spend a quality time with someone I love”
“Me too”
“Really?”
“Yeah”
“I’m glad”

King Pin blindfolded me and he drove me somewhere, I was blindfolded so I couldn’t really see
where I was.
“Keep your blindfolds on, we’re going in”, he said.
King Pin parked his car. We got out and he held my hand, guiding me, the blindfolds were still
on. I heard another. man’s voice, he was talking to King Pin. What’s going on? King Pin
removed my blindfolds…
“Oh my word, King Pin”, I gushed.
“Do you like it?”, he asked.
“Of course”, I hugged him.
“Since I messed up the last dinner in the sky, I thought why not make it up to you”, he said.
“How thoughtful of you, babe. I love it”, I was so happy.

We had a private dinner in the sky, I loved the surprise.

**********
We were up in the sky in no time. There were different types of food on the dinner table. I knew I
was going to eat like there’s no tomorrow.
“I really can’t believe you did this”, I said.
“I’m a tricky cat”, he said.
“Yes you are, just so you know, this means a lot for me”, I said.
“I’m glad you like the surprise”
“I love the surprise”
“Can we toast to us?”
“Why not? Of course”
“Okay. This is a toast to us”
“Yeah, cheers – and the baby”
“To us and our baby”
“Cheers”
“Cheers”

I had a great time with King Pin. He told me that Raymond, Martin and Rashidi were all partners
in their bookie business. He told me he was partners with a guy named Tim. Him and Tim are
now in business with Raymond, Martin and Rashidi. He said he’s going to get 60% of whatever
they make. I don’t think it will end well.

We went home later. I was still excited.

“Do you know what I’ve learnt?”, asked King Pin.
“What?”, I asked.
“That the smallest things can impress a woman”, he said.
“We don’t really mind, it’s the thought that counts”, I said.
“Babe, I saw a necklace and I thought of buying it but I didn’t. At least it’s the thought that
counts”, he joked.
“Come on now”, I laughed.
We were sitting in the same couch. I rested on the couch, I placed my legs on his lap. He
rubbed my feet.
“Let’s go cuddle”, he said.
“Come on, I know when you say ‘cuddle’ you mean have sex”, I said.
“Come, let’s go”, he dragged me.
“Pick me up”, I said.
“You’re heavy”, he said.
“You mean you’re not man enough?”, I joked.
“Oh shit”, he picked me up.
I laughed.

He gently placed me on his bed. He started dancing, that was really fun.
“I missed you”, he kissed me.
“I missed you too”, I said.
We kissed passionately, the next thing he was on top of me.
“Be gentle”, I whispered.
“I will”, he kissed me.
We started having sex.

After having sex with him, I looked the other side. I wasn’t feeling okay.
“I enjoyed that one. Your pussy is good”, he kissed me on the cheek.
I didn’t say anything.
“Did you enjoy my dick? Because I was deDICKated”, he joked.
I didn’t say anything.
“My dick educated you, I call my dick DICKtionary”, he joked.
“Sorry”, I walked out of the room.
I went straight to the bathroom and I vomited. After vomiting, I brushed my teeth. I went back to
King Pin’s bedroom.

“Are you okay?”, he asked.

“I’m fine now”, I said.
“Can I turn off the lights?”, he asked.
“Yeah, you can”, I said.
He turned off the lights and we slept.
Ezinye izinto azikwazi ugcagciswa. (Some things can’t be explained).

Part 24: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

One week later.

I had to see the doctor for check up. I was happy and nervous at the same time. I ate boiled
eggs for breakfast.
“You should come to the check up with me”, I told King Pin.
“Uhm, I can’t”, he said.
“Why? But I told you this a long time ago”, I said.
“I know, maybe I’ll go with you to the next check up”, he said.
“What’s keeping you busy?”, I asked.
“I have to go to a meeting”, he said.
“You mean you have to see Foxy?”
“Come on, trust me you don’t want to go there”
“I do, let’s go there”
“Hey, I’ll just act like we never talked about this”
“Why are you always sensitive when we talk about Foxy?”
“I’m not, you are”
“Is Foxy going to be at your meeting”
“Really, Nosipho?”
“Answer me, damn it!”
“Yeah”
“Foxy and who?”
“Foxy and no one else”
“So you’re going to a private meeting with her”
“She works for me”
“Yeah, she does more than work for you, right?”
“This is funny”
“King Pin, why can’t you postpone the meeting with her and just support your girlfriend?”
“It’s an important meeting”
“Is a strip club more important than your baby?”
“Making money for us and the baby is more important”
“Don’t flip the script”
“I don’t want to argue with you Nosipho. You’re pregnant”
“Clearly making money is more important than your baby”
“I can drive you to the doctor”
“I don’t need you to do me any favours”
“I’m just helping you”
“You’re helping me?”
“If you don’t need my help, it’s okay”
“King Pin, if you’re ready to grow up please tell me”
“Hey, hey what are you trying to say?”
“I’m tired of holding your hand like you’re a bloody toddler”
“I can’t stand here and argue with a pregnant woman who’s emotionally unstable”
King Pin left. I was so angry. And Foxy wins again.

I drove myself to the doctor. The doctor performed an ultrasound procedure. I wish King Pin was
here, the doctor also told me the gender of the baby. He said it was a girl and I was happy. I
drove back to King Pin’s house.
King Pin wasn’t home, I tried to make sense of everything that’s happening around me. That K1
girl wanted to live in King Pin’s house, why? Because she had her cousin, Martin. Unless Martin
planned something, he doesn’t like King Pin. What about Rashidi? He sent his girlfriend, Mbali
to steal from Antonio. Mbali never told me the other person’s name, I’m guessing Martin? It
goes back to when I delivered that package to “Mr X” but I found Rashidi there and Martin later
entered. That’s all strange to me and now they’re all in partnership with King Pin. I don’t want to
concentrate on that but I don’t want King Pin to get hurt. I really love King Pin, I don’t see myself
with anyone else but him.
It was about 2pm, King Pin rushed to the house.
“Babe, how did it all go?”, he asked.
“Good”, I replied.
“So?”, he asked.
“It’s a baby girl”, I said.
“That’s amazing”, he said.
“Yep”
“I’m sorry for not going with you”
“I really wanted you to come with me”
“Close your eyes”
“For what?”
“Just close your eyes, please”
“Er…oh”
“Close them”
“My eyes are shut”
“Okay…”
“Still shut”
“Open your eyes”
“Okay”
“Surprise”
“King Pin”
“Beautiful necklace for a beautiful girl”
“It’s lovely but a necklace won’t change anything”
“I know”
“It’s lovely, thanks”
“Uhm…we’re having a group date with the gents”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, it’s a mini celebration”
“Oh”
“I would love for you to come with me”
“Your gents?”
“Well, Raymond, Rashidi, Martin, Tim and their dates”
“I can’t go”
“Why?”
“Because the last time I saw Raymond and Linda, it wasn’t nice”
“It won’t happen again, please”
“Are you buddy-buddy with them now that you’re all partners?”
“It’s a long way to go”
“Okay”
“Will you come with me?”
“Yes”
“Thank you babe, we should get ready because we should be there at 4pm”
“Cool”

I can’t wait.
**********
We drove to Raymond’s restaurant. When we got there, Raymond, Linda, Rashidi and Mbali
were already there. There were no customers in the restaurant, the restaurant was hired just for
us.
“Welcome guys”, said Raymond. “Martin hasn’t arrived yet, I’m sure he’s on his way”, he added.
I went to talk to Mbali.
“Hey Mbali, how are you?”, I asked.
“I’m good”, she replied.
“I thought you said you ended things with Rashidi”, I said.
“Yeah but he asked me to be his date. We’re friends now”, she said.
“Okay?”
“How are things between you and King Pin?”
Before I could answer Mbali, Martin entered with Foxy. I was surprised, I went to King Pin.
“What is she doing here?”, I whispered in King Pin’s ear.
“Why don’t you go and ask here?”, King Pin whispered in my ear.
“Okay, ladies and gentlemen, can we all come to this table”, said Raymond.
We all went to sit in the same table.
The table was long. Me, King Pin, Mbali and Rashidi were sitting on the same side. Opposite us
were Linda, Raymond, Foxy and Martin. There were waitresses serving us food. Tim, King Pin’s
friend and partner couldn’t make it.
“I never thought I would be having a meal with King Pin and his girl”, said Raymond. He added,
“I hope this partnership mends our broken friendship”.
“I hope you gentlemen know what you’re putting yourselves into. This is no joke, this is
business”, said Linda.
“I think before we start afresh, we should get everything off our chests”, said Martin.
“That’s a good start”, said Raymond.
Linda looked at Raymond, “This won’t end well, babe”, she said.
“No, let’s do this”, said King Pin.
I looked at King Pin, he shrugged his shoulders.
“Before we start, I have to say. You gentlemen are smart – at least you thought you were. Let’s
face it, my bookie business is bigger than yours”, said King Pin.
Martin interrupted him.
“Hence you got 60% of what we will make”, said Martin.
“60% isn’t enough, I looked at all your records and I compared it to mine”, said King Pin – Martin
interrupted him again.
“Well, that’s bullshit. It’s 60% and it’s final”, said Martin.
“Wait, Martin. Uh – so what are you suggesting King Pin?”, asked Raymond.
“70%”, replied King Pin.
“That’s crazy”, said Rashidi.
“You guys need me”, said King Pin.
“70% is a bit extreme, don’t you think?”, asked Linda.
“Your bookie business made between R75 000 to R80 000 a month. My bookie business made
R100 000 to R150 000 a month. Let’s say our businesses combined will make…uhm…R230
000. 70% of R230 000 would be…uhm…let me count…uhm… R161 000 is what I will get and
the R69 000 will be yours”, King Pin arrogantly said.
“R69 000 is lower than the average amount we make every month”, said Rashidi.
“Take the 60%, we all win”, said Martin. “Let me think, uhm, oh yeah…no is the answer”, said
King Pin.
“But we agreed on 60%”, said Raymond.
“65%, how’s that?”, asked King Pin.
“Better than the 70%”, replied Raymond.
The agreed on a 65/35 deal. I was so proud of my man.
“Before we take this partnership to the next level, everyone sitting here should confess”, said
Raymond.
“I don’t have anything to confess”, said Mbali. I looked at her and I looked away immediately.
“Anyone wants to confess?”, asked Raymond.
Everyone on the table was quiet.
“No confessions?”, Raymond asked again.
“Let’s just eat, things are going to be awkward”, I said.
Surprisingly, Foxy was quiet the whole time.
The food was good but there was some fakeness on the dinner table. You could cut the tension
with a knife.
After everyone was done eating, a man played a violin. Beautiful. I saw Foxy talking to King Pin,
she hugged him. She was all over him.
“Look at Foxy”, Mbali said to me.
“I saw her”, I said.
“She has a crush on King Pin, it’s visible”, said Mbali.
“I don’t know what she wants from us. She visits King Pin’s place, she’s annoying”, I said.
“What? She visits King Pin’s house? That’s shady”, said Mbali.
I was so angry, King Pin wasn’t giving me attention. I dragged him by his arm.
“What the fuck?”, he yelled.
Everyone looked at us.
“If Foxy was doing that you wouldn’t freak out”, I said.
“You’re so obsessed with my name”, said Foxy.
“Just leave me alone Nosipho. Stop acting like a selfish bitch”, King Pin was so angry.
“You’re so insecure”, said Foxy.
“Are you sleeping with her?”, I asked King Pin.
“Leave me alone”, said King Pin.
“Is that why she brought that shirt? You guys had sex and you borrowed her your shirt?”, I was
angry.
“We talked about this, you’re making a fool of yourself”, King Pin whispered in my ear.
Martin pulled me aside, he wanted to talk to me. King Pin shoved him.
“Don’t touch her!”, King Pin was clearly tipsy.
“Don’t shove him”, I defended Martin.
“Nosipho, do us all a favour and go back to where you came from”, said Foxy.
“Stay out of this, bitch”, I said.
“Mbali doesn’t like you, Rashidi doesn’t like you, Linda doesn’t like you, Raymond doesn’t like
you, Martin doesn’t like you, I don’t like you and King Pin doesn’t like you”, said Foxy.
“Wow, says a girl who wanted to bring Raymond down. Yeah, that’s a confession. Heard that
Raymond?”, I was ready to tell everything.
“Foxy, what is she talking about?”, asked Linda.
“Nothing”, lied Foxy.
“Nothing? I hope it’s nothing”, said Linda.

People were starting to show their true emotions. Fake masks were peeling off.
It’s going to be dramatic. It won’t end well.
**********
“Tell her the truth Foxy”, I said.
“I needed the money”, said Foxy.
“So that’s true?”, asked Linda.
“Yeah, I was just helping King Pin”, said Foxy.
“It never worked. I thought maybe after Nosipho failed, Foxy was going to help me. It was too
easy, Foxy was Linda’s friend, too easy. But it never really worked”, confessed King Pin.
“I wanted to bring you down, Raymond – and Linda. After what you guys did to me, I was bitter
and hurt. I never hated people the way I hated you guys. I learned to forgive you guys but I can’t
forget”, I said.
“We apologised, over and over again. You didn’t want to accept our apology. You were rude to
us, it’s understandable because we betrayed you. Sometimes I wished you weren’t stubborn.
You’re just a kid, you know nothing about this business”, said Linda.
“I’m not a kid! I’m old enough to know what’s right and wrong”, I said.
“You say you have forgiven us but you still hate us”, said Linda.
“I forgave you guys but I told you, I can’t be your friend anymore”, I said.
“I don’t care anymore, Nosipho”, said Linda.
“What makes you think I care?”, I asked her.
She didn’t answer me.

“This city is full of fake people. The pastor back home always said the city was an evil place.
People corrupt the city. Having a celebratory dinner? What is this? Celebrating new partnership
built from deceiving”, I said.
“I’ve been quiet for too long. What do you know? You’re just a selfish, arrogant, stubborn, stupid
rural girl who thinks the world revolves around Nosipho”, said Rashidi.
“Are you talking to me Mr X? Oh wait, Mr X is fake. Why don’t you tell everyone what you’ve
been up to”, I said.
“Nothing”, Rashidi took a sip of wine.
“King Pin sent me to deliver a package for Mr X. I found Rashidi in this house, he was sitting
comfortably in the office. He told me he was Mr X, Martin later entered the house. It’s strange, I
find that strange”, I said. I added, “And you, Martin? What were you and your cousin, K1 up to?
She wanted to stay at King Pin’s place. Did you send her? Did you?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about”, said Martin.
“How come you know everything?”, asked Linda.
“I’m smart”, I said.
Linda giggled.
“You? Smart?”, Linda giggled.
“Yes, I’m smart enough to know that you have a history with my brother. You thought I would
never know?”, I asked her.
“We dated, so what? It was in the past, does that make you smart?”, she asked.
“Why do you always ruin everything?”, asked Raymond. He wasn’t happy.
“And Raymond, wow, Raymond. He approached me and ask for my help to bring King Pin down
but I said no”, I said.
I could see King Pin’s face frowning. He looked at me.
“You were meeting this guy behind my back?”, asked King Pin.
“No, we met randomly”, I said.
“Since this is a confessions spree, let me confess something before she says anything. Linda,
I’m financially assisting your pregnant sister”, said Raymond.
“What? We talked about this Raymond. How could you?”, Linda was pissed.
“Rashidi, are you running a drug business behind my back?”, asked Raymond.
“If I’m going to fall, I’ll drag someone with me”, said Rashidi.
“Answer me, damn it! Are you?”, Raymond was angry.
“Yes, with Martin”, replied Rashidi.
“With Martin? You’re my friend and Martin, we’re partners. How could you guys betray me? No
wonder my business wasn’t doing well. I heard my customers were being satisfied elsewhere, I
thought it was King Pin, not my best friend and my partner”, Raymond was shouting.
“Sorry man”, apologised Rashidi.
“Linda was involved too”, said Martin.
“What? Is he telling the truth?”, Raymond asked Linda.
“Yes”, replied Linda.
“Rashidi, over friendship is over. You’re fired from the club. Martin, our partnership is over.
Linda, our engagement is over – I’m done with you. You should leave my house, leave
everything I bought you including my car. My son is staying with me”, Raymond walked out.
“Baby, listen”, Linda ran after Raymond.

Mbali, Rashidi and Martin left.

“Are you happy now?”, asked King Pin.

“It’s not my fault, Raymond asked for it. He wanted people to confess, he must suffer the
consequences”, I said.
“You’re unbelievable, you know that?”, King Pin was angry.
“You don’t give me attention!”, I yelled. “So you thought it would be a great idea to expose
people for the sake of getting attention?”, he asked.
“You have to choose King Pin”, I said.
Foxy interrupted me.
“This girl is psycho”, she said.
“Shut up bitch!”, I screamed.
“You’re driving me insane, shut the fuck up”, said King Pin.
“Why do you always choose her over me?”, I asked.
“I come home to you, aren’t you happy?”, he asked.
“If you knew how to keep a man happy, he wouldn’t be in my bed every chance he had”, said
Foxy.
“What is she talking about, King Pin?”, I asked.
“Tell her King Pin. Tell her how you admire my petite body, tell her how you kiss me from my
forehead down to my belly button, tell her how bad she treats you”, said Foxy.
“I’m a man, Nosipho”, said King Pin.
“That’s not a good excuse, how could you cheat on me?”, I cried.
“You don’t make me feel like a man, you always have a lot to say and we argue a lot”, he said.
“I knew you were sleeping with this slut. When last did you have sex with her?”, I asked.
“Today”, responded Foxy.
“Is it true?”, I cried.
“Babe, you make me do all these things”, he said.
“You lied to me, you said you were going to a meeting with her. How do I make you do all these
things? Do I force you to fuck her at gun point? I can’t believe you! You sacrificed doing
something right for a change like going with me to check our baby’s health, you chose to fuck a
slut?”, I cried.
“I’m sorry”, he said.
“It’s either me or her. Choose now”, I commanded.
“I don’t want to choose, it’s silly and fucking childish”, he said.
“How am I going to trust you again?”, I asked.
“It won’t happen again. She was just a distraction”, he said.
“Just a distraction? You said you really liked me and you want to leave Nosipho for me”, said
Foxy.
“Don’t twist my words, bitch”, said King Pin.
“You want to leave me?”, I asked.
“No”, he responded.
Foxy slapped King Pin.
“Do that again, and I’ll kill you”, King Pin was angry.
“You lied to me. You promised me a lot of things”, said Foxy.
King Pin hugged me I just stood there – I didn’t hug him, Foxy punched King Pin. That made
him more angry, King Pin pushed Foxy and she fell. She laid on the floor, she touched his
stomach as if she had a stomach ache. King Pin was worried, he wanted to help her but I
stopped him. Foxy managed to get up, she walked towards us.
“Are you crazy? You’re going to kill our baby”, she said.
I looked at King Pin, he looked confused.
“You’re pregnant?”, he asked.
“You impregnated me King Pin”, said Foxy.

I couldn’t believe my ears. Suddenly I felt this rush down my spine, my body temperature rose
and I was feeling hot. My knees began to weaken, I kneeled. I felt dizzy. My vision went blur, I
fell on the ground. I could hear King Pin saying, “Nosipho!, Nosipho!” but his voice sounded like
he was further. I closed my eyes, I opened them again and I saw trees. I was in a forest, I was
laying there, I couldn’t get up.
Bit by bit I was starting to lose myself. It was like I was escaping my body, I was too weak. I
closed my eyes.
What’s going on? Am I dying?
**********
I woke up in hospital, King Pin was sleeping on the chair next to my hospital bed.
“King Pin”, I called.
He woke up.
“Hey, how are you feeling?”, he asked.
“Good”, I replied.
“You fainted, do you remember everything that happened prior to you fainting?”, he asked.
“Yes”, I replied.
He kept quiet.
“I was right, you are sleeping with that witch”, I said.
“Only if you knew how to handle me, I wouldn’t be fucking another girl”, he said arrogantly.
“Don’t make this my fault! I never cheated on you”, I said.
“But you cheated on Antonio, you’re not a saint either”, he said.
I kept quiet.
“Stop acting like you’re perfect, because you’re not”, he said.
“Do you regret cheating on me?”, I asked.
“Do you regret treating me like shit?”, he asked.
“I never treated you like shit, I love you. Clearly you don’t love me”, I said.
“Look, I’ll wait for you outside. We’ll talk more when we get home”, he left.

The doctor came and he gave me vitamins. He wrote a list of foods I should and shouldn’t eat
while I’m pregnant. I was immediately discharged, King Pin was waiting for me outside. He
drove me home.
When we got home, Foxy was sitting on the stairs. I don’t know what she wants.
“Two weeks pregnant, here”, Foxy threw a doctor’s statement at King Pin.
“Don’t throw it”, King Pin was angry.
“I’m carrying your baby, you’re going to support me”, said Foxy.
Foxy brought her suitcases, wow.
“Can you explain the suitcases?”, asked King Pin.
“I’m moving in, I was evicted from my flat”, she said.
“You’re not staying here”, said King Pin.
King Pin opened the door, I entered and Foxy entered too.

“Get the fuck out of my house!”, yelled King Pin.

“I don’t have a place to stay”, she said. “That’s not my problem”, said King Pin. “I’m carrying
your baby, it’s your problem”, she said.
I just looked at them arguing with each other, I didn’t interfere. I went straight to my bedroom
and I packed my clothes. King Pin and Foxy were arguing.
When I was done packing, I sat on my bed. I didn’t hear them argue, maybe Foxy left. I opened
my bedroom door, I went to the lounge and Foxy was sitting there. King Pin wanted to talk to my
aside, we went to the kitchen.
“Don’t be mad, she won’t be here for long”, he whispered.
“I don’t care because I’m going home”, I said.
“What? Why?”, he asked.
“I want to take a break from the city”, I said.
“Come on, what about me?”, he asked. “What about you?”, I asked.
“I’m your boyfriend, I need you”
“You’re not MY boyfriend, you’re OUR boyfriend. I’m sharing you, remember?”
“Nosipho, Foxy was just a distraction”
“Just a distraction? How would you feel if I said you were just a distraction?”
“I know you love me”
“I’m glad you do because I know you don’t love me”
“Give me another chance, Nosipho”
“I need to see my agent before I leave”
“You’re the mother of my kid, I care about you. I’m an asshole, I admit it but I think our future
looks bright”
“Do you really love me?”
“Yeah”
“Okay, if you really loved me, you would let me go away for a while. I just want to get away from
all this drama”
“Alright, are we still on?”
“Let’s take a healthy break from each other”
“A break?”
“Yes”
“Cool, do you want me to drive you there”
“No, I’ll drive myself – ”
“What if you faint again?”
“That won’t happen”
“Please let me drive you there”
“It’s okay, I’ll drive”
“If you insist”
“But you can drive me to my agent”
“Okay, let me get my car keys”

King Pin took his car keys and we drove away. I wanted to have a serious talk with my agent,
not much has happened. I don’t think my acting career is going well, I’m not meant for that.
I met up with my agent and I told him about my pregnancy, he was surprised. I told him that I’m
quitting, he understood. He said if I consider going back to acting, his agency is always open.
KG is a good man, God bless him and his family.
We drove back to King Pin’s house, it was dark.
What’s going to happen next?
**********
When we got back at King Pin’s place, Foxy was asleep.
“It’s dark outside, you can leave tomorrow”, he said.
“Maybe you’re right”, I said.

King Pin ordered supper, I never really talked to Foxy. What’s there to say? She was in her
bedroom the whole time. After supper, I watched a scary movie with King Pin.
“You like scary movies”, I said.
“Scary movies are the best”, he said.
We were sitting on the same couch, we were sharing a blanket.
“Am I the worst boyfriend you ever had?”, he asked.
“You’re my first love”, I said.
“Wow, really?”, he was surprised.
“Yes, you’re the first man I ever truly loved”, I said.
“I feel honoured”
“Oh please”
“Really, that means the next man has a lot of stepping up to do”
“You can say that again”
“Really, that means the next man has a lot of stepping up to do”
“You can say that again”
“Really, that means the – ”
“Oh, King Pin – not like that”
“I’m just being silly”
“What about you?”
“You’re the only girl I had genuine feelings for – this is the longest relationship I ever had”
“Do you always cheat? Please, don’t be mad”
“I’m used to being a bachelor”
“Why do men cheat when they have a good girlfriend?”
“There’s a reason for cheating, you also had a reason when you cheated on Antonio, right?”
“He was a bit boring”
“Antonio is a cool guy, he’s a great businessman but he’s not as innocent as he looks”
“I know”

I had fun with King Pin that night. He made me fall in love with him again.

The next morning, I was on the road, I was heading home. I’m tired of keeping secrets from my
parents, I want to tell them the truth now.

It was a long drive, I stopped at more than five garages to take a break.
I arrived home at about 5PM. My older brother’s taxi was parked outside, I knew he was home. I
entered the house, my family was shocked.
“Nosipho, my child!”, my mom sighed.
“Good afternoon everyone”, I greeted.
“Take a seat”, my mom said.
“How are you my child?”, my dad asked.
“I’m not well”, I replied.
“What’s wrong my child?”, my dad asked.
“I don’t know how you will react”, I said.
There was silence.
“Dad, mom, I…”, I couldn’t finish the sentence.
“What’s wrong my child?”, my mom was worried.
My big brother, Bandile was staring at me and that made me more nervous.
“Did someone cut your tongue? Can’t you talk?”, Bandile pressurised me.
“Wait, Bandile”, my mom said.
“I’m pregnant”, I said.
My mom put her hands on her head and she kept saying, “Hayi Nosipho, hayi Nosipho (No
Nosipho, no Nosipho). Tears went down my cheeks, my dad didn’t say anything. I disappointed
my family. My little brother, Lwazi stood up and he went to his room. Bandile stared at me, his
eyes were piercing.

“You’re a disgrace to this family”, he said.

“Leave me alone”, I said.
He slapped me and said, “You need to be taught a lesson”. My mom stopped my brother, my
face turned red. I stood up and I left the house.
I was so angry, I went to sit at the back of the house. I could hear my mom and Bandile arguing.
I buried my face in my lap, I was proud of myself – at least my family know. When I lifted my
head, I saw a woman standing next to a tree, her back was facing me.
“Who are you?”, I asked her.
She didn’t respond.
“Who are you?”, I asked again.
 She walked away, I followed her. I saw her enter the house. I didn’t enter, I was afraid. I saw
her going to my room. “Get out of my room!”, I shouted.
“Lwazi is in your room”, my mom replied.
“Lwazi! Lwazi! Lwazi!”, I called out.
I ran inside the house, Lwazi came out of the room.
“What?”, he asked.
“She’s in here”, I said.
“No one’s in here, come check”, said Lwazi.
“Mom, she’s in here”, I said.
My mom was freaked out, she looked at my dad.
“I’m serious mom”, I said.
Bandile angrily left the house, I heard his skorokoro driving away.

“Sit down my child”, my mom said.

I sat down, Lwazi went out of the house.
“Let’s talk about your, uh, pregnancy. Who’s responsible?”, my dad asked.
“Thando”, I replied.
“What’s his surname and where does he live?”, my dad asked.
“His surname is Dlomo and he lives in Johannesburg”, I replied.
“He must pay for the damages”, my dad said.
“He’s a busy man”, I said.
“I don’t care, he can send his uncles or any male family member”, my dad said.
My vision began to go blur, I was weak and my body temperature rose up.
“Nosipho, what’s wrong?”, my mom panicked.
I saw the woman running towards me, her feet didn’t touch the ground, it’s like she was floating.
I couldn’t see her face. I couldn’t run because I was so weak.
The woman just ran and her body clashed mine. It’s like she entered my body, I could feel a
foreign soul in my body. I sat up and I stared at my mom, I didn’t blink. My mom was frightened,
her eyes popped out.
“Nosipho, what’s wrong? Talk me”, she said.
I collapsed on the couch.
I was so weak, my heart stopped. Everything went blank. I could hear my mother crying, “She’s
dead”.
I laid there, unconscious…

Part 25: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

I opened my eyes, I was laying in bed. My parents and the pastor were praying. I couldn’t get
up, it’s like my body was stiff. I couldn’t move a muscle but my eyes were wide open. I was
struggling to get up, I wanted to scream but I couldn’t open my mouth. I struggled for a while
before I could move a muscle. Finally, I was free – my parents and the pastor were still praying,
I waited for ‘Amen’ so I can get out of bed.
“Amen”, they sang.
That was my cue, I got out of bed. Funny though, my parents and the pastor just went out of my
room, they didn’t even talk to me. I got out of the room.
“Mom, dad, I’m fine now”, I said.
They didn’t answer me.
“I wonder what’s wrong with Nosipho”, my mom said.
“I’m fine now”, I said.
“An evil force is responsible”, the pastor said.
“Look at me mom, look, I’m fine”, I said.
It’s like I wasn’t there, my mom ignored me – everyone did. I went to my room again, I saw
myself laying on the bed. I looked so unconscious but peaceful. What’s going on? I looked at
myself, seeing myself laying on that bed, I was helpless. I tried to wake myself, I didn’t wake up.
I was aware of what was going on, I went out of the room. I tried whispering something in my
mom’s ear but she didn’t hear me. Am I a spirit? Did I die? I went outside, suddenly the clouds
started forming. It began to rain, it wasn’t just any rain, it was heavy rain. Thunder started,
BOOM! BANG! BOOM! I was afraid, I collapsed.

I was coughing uncontrollably, my parents and the pastor ran to my room.

“Nosipho, you’re awake my child”, my mom said happily.
“Praise the Lord”, the pastor said with hands spread in the air.
“Bring her a glass of water”, my mom said to my dad.
My dad ran out of the room, I was aware of everything that happened.
“It’s raining heavily”, I said.
“No, it’s not”, my mom said.
“No, it’s raining”, I said.
“It’s hot outside, I even took off my blazer”, the pastor said.
“But…”, I couldn’t believe it.
My dad ran in with a glass of water.
“How are you feeling my girl?”, my dad asked.
“I’m fine”, I replied.
I drank the water. The pastor looked at his wrist watch, “I have a meeting with the chief”, he
said.
“Thanks again for helping us”, my mom thanked the pastor.
“If it wasn’t for God, this child would still be laying there”, the pastor said.
“God is good”, my dad added.
“He is indeed, I have to leave. Goodbye and God bless you Nosipho”, the pastor left.

We all went out of the room, we went to sit in the ‘sitting room’.
“God wouldn’t let me suffer like this if he loved me”, I said.
My mom looked at my dad.
“I don’t deserve this”, I said.
“Everything will be okay”, my mom said.
“No, mom. Everything won’t be okay. I don’t know this woman, she keeps…”, I stopped talking.
My mom sat on the edge of her seat.
“Woman?”, she asked.
“Yes”, I mumbled.
“What woman?”, my dad asked.
“I don’t know her. She always appear with a blurred face, one time she appeared as you, mom. I
don’t know what she wants. Sometimes she’s not a threat but sometimes she’s violent – like,
she wants to kill me. But hey, maybe I’m just reading too much into this crap. People around me
think I’m crazy”, I said.
‘Oh no”, my mom sighed.
“What does that all mean, mom?”, I asked.
My mom didn’t answer me.
“Are the ancestors angry at me?”, I asked her.
She kept quite.
“Please answer me”, I said.
“We have to go to my family today”, my mom said.
My dad looked at my mom. “Why?”, he asked.
“It’s really important”, she said.

My mom’s family live in another village that is not that far from our village.

“Why?”, I asked mom.

“It’s about time”, she replied.
“About time for what?”, I asked.
“I think we have to leave right now”, my mom said.
“Can I come?”, my dad asked.
“No”, my mom replied.

We left immediately, my mom didn’t tell me what was going on.

What’s going on?
**********
My mom’s family live in a tiny village that is smaller than ours. My grandmother is 87 years old,
my grandfather died at the age of 95. My grandmother lives with her grandson, Mongezi, a 25
year old mechanic. She also lives with two girls she raised, Babalwa(10 years) and Amandla(14
years).

My grandmother, MaDlamini was very excited to see us.

“My children”, she said happily.
“Hello mom”, my mom hugged her mom.
I also hugged her.
“Babalwa, Amandla, come and greet your aunt and your cousin”, MaDlamini said.
Babalwa and Amandla greeted, kissed and hugged us. They were so shy.
“I don’t know why Amandla is even shy, she talks too much”, said MaDlamini.
“They are so grown”, my mom said.
“Babalwa is in standard two and Amandla is doing standard 6”, said MaDlamini.
“Grade 8, not standard 6”, Amandla interrupted.
My grandmother looked at me and she winked. I laughed.
“Do you know her?”, my grandmother pointed at me.
“That’s Nosipho”, said Amandla.
“That’s not Nosipho to you, she’s older than you”, said MaDlamini.
“Sis’Nosipho”, Babalwa added.
“Yes”, MaDlamini nodded her head.
I smiled.
“Go buy Coke for the visitors”, said MaDlamini.
“It’s okay, mom”, my mom said.
“I don’t usually get visitors”, said MaDlamini.
“It’s okay, grandma”, I said.
Babalwa and Amandla left.

“What brings you here?”, asked MaDlamini.

“It’s Nokwanda”, my mom replied.
I was a bit surprised, who’s Nokwanda?
“Oh, oh, oh”, MaDlamini sighed.
“She’s been troubling Nosipho”, my mom said.
“We should consult MaDuna”, said MaDlamini.
“Where is MaDuna?”, my mom asked.
“Unfortunately she’s currently in Kwa Zulu Natal for the annual uhlolwa kwentombi (virginity
testing)”, MaDlamini replied.
“What are we going to do now?”, my mom asked.
“She’s coming back tomorrow morning”, said MaDlamini.
“Okay”, my mom said.
“You can sleep here”, MaDlamini suggested.
“Mom, I can’t. I have a house to look after, I’m a married woman”, my mom said.
“Nosipho can sleep here, you can come in the morning”, said MaDlamini.
“I think that’s alright”, my mom said.
“I’m going to sleep here?”, I asked.
“Yes my child”, my mom replied.
“What’s going on?”, I asked.
My mom looked at her mom.
“You’re going to be fine”, said MaDlamini.
“My twin sister, Nokwanda is haunting you”, my mom said.
“I don’t even know her, we never even met. Why?”, I asked.
“She was evil”, my mom replied.
“Evil? How?”, I asked.
My mom went out of the house.

“Grandma, what’s going on?”, I asked.

“Nosipho, my child, your mom’s twin sister, Nokwanda was an evil person. She was fascinated
about the devil work, she enjoyed killing things. She killed every dog we had. She joined a cult,
it was led by an old lady known as Phiko. She was only 10 years old when she joined the cult.
She did every bad thing you could think of, she was the total opposite of your mother. One day,
she talked in her sleep, she said, “Yes Phiko, I’m going to kill my sister. We need her blood”. We
placed her in a children’s home – ”
“Sorry to interrupt you, why did you place her in a children’s home when you know she’s evil?”
“We thought maybe she’ll be a kid again and not a blood hungry monster. Back then, there
were mobile clinics that came every Tuesday and Thursday. We asked the nurses if they knew
any social worker, luckily that day a social worker was present. We talked the social worker and
she took Nokwanda the next day. Nokwanda didn’t even last a week, she came back home. I
couldn’t believe I gave birth to a monster. We took her to church but she didn’t change. One
sunny afternoon, we found her hanging on a tree, she committed suicide. She was 13 years old
when she killed herself”
“That’s the most horrible story I ever heard. What does she want from me?”
“I think you know”
“My blood?”
“Yes”
“Why does this involve MaDuna?”
“She’s the best traditional healer we have. She helped us a lot in the past, she’s a family friend”
“Can she help me?”
“Yes, everything will be fine”
“After tomorrow will things go back to normal?”
“It depends”
“On what?”
“Relax, Nosipho”
“Grandma, will you relax if you knew some evil psycho person wants your blood so bad?”
“Of course not, I understand”

My mom entered the house again, her eyes were red, it looks like she was crying outside.
“Mom are you okay?”, I asked.
“I’ll be fine”, she said.

My mom left and I stayed behind.

I can’t help to get help from MaDuna.
**********
In the evening, I was getting ready to sleep. I said a little prayer and then I went to sleep. I miss
King Pin now, his strong arm would be around my neck, his cologne would be lingering in the
air. His hand would wander, grabbing everything he wants and not apologising for being an
arrogant ass. He was funny, he did put a smile on my face when I was down. Sometimes he
would wipe a smile off my face and make me mad. I missed everything about King Pin, I love
him with all my heart. I smiled as I reminisced all our beautiful moments. I closed my eyes and I
imagined King Pin.
He was wearing a suit, smoking a cigar in his office. I opened the door, he smiled. He inhaled
the smoke and he kissed me, transferring the smoke to my mouth. I blew the smoke in his face
and I whispered in his ear, he grabbed my butt.
I snapped out of my dream, I giggled. Suddenly, I felt a cold breeze. The window was open, the
curtain was moving rhythmically. I was afraid, I buried myself under my covers. The wind
stopped blowing, I lifted my head. I rushed to close the window but it was already closed,
STRANGE! There was a tree that was not that far from the window…one blink and I saw a girl
hanging. I knew that was Nokwanda as a 13 year old, I was freaked out. My room had many
shadows walking on the wall, I screamed, I was terrified. I fainted on my bed.
In the morning, I heard drums playing. I got up, I was possessed – I think. I just got out of the
house, I didn’t know where I was going. I just entered a hut, I never been to this hut. I saw a
sangoma playing drums, my mom and my grandma were sitting on the floor. I just laid on the
floor, I don’t know why.
“Nosipho”, the sangoma called.
“What’s going on?”, I asked.
“A very dark cloud is covering this girl”, the sangoma said. “Don’t worry, I’m here to help”, she
added.
She played the drums.
“I’m going to perform something, MaDlamini, are you sure you want to be with us? You’re an old
lady”, the sangoma warned.
“You can go home mom”, my mom said to grandma.
“No, I want to be here. Nokwanda was my child”, said MaDlamini.
“Okay”, the sangoma played the drums.
The sangoma, MaDuna closed the door, it was dark inside. She played the drums.
“Everyone should look down, don’t look up or look at the spirit that’s going to join us”, MaDuna
warned.
I was so scared.
She played the drums. She burned “impepho”. She talked in a different language that I never
heard of.

I could feel a presence in the room.

“She’s here”, the sangoma said.
We all looked down, except for the sangoma.
“Nokwanda, what do you want?”, she asked.
I didn’t hear any response.
“She’s your sister’s daughter”, the sangoma said.
The candles that were lit just went off. I felt like someone was strangling me. I was choking, the
sangoma poured water on me, it wasn’t really water, it stank. I was dragged across the room, I
was crying. My Grandma lifted her head, she wanted to help me…
“NO!”, the sangoma screamed.
My grandma fell. My mom was still looking down. The spirit stopped choking me, I got up and I
went to help my grandma.
“Grandma, wake up!”, I screamed.
“She lifted her head”, the sangoma said, “Keep your head down”, she said to my mom.
The sangoma opened the door. She talked in a different language, after that she gave my mom
permission to look up. My mom ran and she went to help her mom.
“Will she be okay?”, my mom asked.
“Yes – I think”, the sangoma replied.
We took a wheelbarrow and we gently placed grandma and we transported her to her bedroom.
Mongezi monitored grandma and we went back to the hut.

“What’s going to happen next?”, I asked the sangoma.

“I think it’s about time”, the sangoma said.
“Time for what?”, I asked.
“Your mom is the only person who can defeat Nokwanda”, the sangoma said.
“I knew it, I saw that coming”, my mom said calmly.
“How will she defeat her?”, I asked.
“She has to enter that world”, the sangoma said.
“The only way she can enter that world is if she’s dead. No ways!”, I yelled.
“Calm down, my people will help your mother”, she said.
“How?”, I asked.
“Nobesuthu, we need to meet at 8pm. You must also be present, Nosipho”, the sangoma said.

We will meet at 8pm, I wonder what will my mom do.

Yho!
**********
At 8pm we went to MaDuna’s hut, Mongezi, Babalwa and Amandla were looking after grandma,
she was slowly recovering. I won’t lie, I was afraid of returning to MaDuna’s hut. I didn’t know
that the ghost was that dangerous.
The sangoma, MaDuna told us to take off the shoes and leave them outside. Candles were lit
and they were placed in a circle, we sat inside the circle. MaDuna had three drums, she gave
me and my mom a drum.
“I spoke to Bhele, he’s a bit late though”, said MaDuna.
“Who’s Bhele?”, my mom asked.
“Bhele is a good friend of mine”, replied MaDuna.

Bhele rushed in the hut.

“Sorry I’m late”, he apologised.

Bhele was a short man with a huge belly, he was wearing his xhosa attire. He was barefoot.
“Greetings”, greeted Bhele.
“This is Nosipho and her mother, Nobesuthu”, MaDuna introduced.
“Okay”, Bhele nodded.
“As you know, I told you everything. You said you knew exactly what should be done”, said
MaDuna.
“Yes, I’m Bhele in case you didn’t know. I think I can help you with your situation”, he said.
“Please”, my mom pleaded. “We really need your help”, she said.
“I already told them that in order for Nosipho to be helped, Nobesuthu should be involved
100%”, said MaDuna.
“Yes”, Bhele nodded.
We starting beating the drums. Bhele applied a white powder on his face, he passed the bowl
and MaDuna also applied the powder. MaDuna gave my mom the powder then me. We all had
powdery faces, I didn’t know how that would help. We started playing the drums, I entered a
trance. I started jumping up and down.
“What is she doing?”, my mom asked.
“She’s jumping up and down”, MaDuna replied.
“I can see that but why is she doing that?”, my mom was confused.
MaDuna looked at Bhele.
“She is uh…she is possessed”, said Bhele.
I fell down.
“Nosipho! Nosipho! Nosipho!”, my mom was terrified.
“Bhele, you said you knew what you were doing”, said MaDuna.
“If you doubt me, why am I here?”, asked Bhele.
“Let’s wait for her to finish what’s she’s doing”, said MaDuna.
I fell on the ground and I laid unconscious.
“Why is she not moving?”, my mom asked.
MaDuna and Bhele went to speak outside. I thought grandma said MaDuna was the best,
obviously she’s not THAT good as I thought she was.

MaDuna came inside alone, Bhele left – I didn’t know where he went.
“This has to be the most extreme case I ever had. I don’t have much experience in dealing with
such things, I don’t want to lie”, said MaDuna.
“What’s going to happen now?”, asked mom.
“Bhele is going to transfer you to MaKhumalo, she will definitely help you”, said MaDuna.

We waited for Bhele, when he arrived, he took us to MaKhumalo’s place. It wasn’t that far.
MaKhumalo didn’t look like the woman you want to mess with. She didn’t even smile when we
walked in. Her house was cold, Bhele left us there and he left.
MaKhumalo took us to a room full of traditional medicine – the room had a funny smell. There
was a mat in the middle of the room, we sat there. MaKhumalo left us there, she went outside to
smoke.

“Where is this woman?”, I was impatient.

“Calm down”, my mom said.
“No, mom. I want this to be complete”, I said.
“It takes time”, my mom said.
“Which I don’t have”, I added.
“You’re so stubborn”, my mom said.
“Sorry for wanting this to end soon”
“I also want this to end soon but it’s not in our hands, Nosipho. You have to trust whoever is
helping us”
“I will, where is she now?”
“Calm down, Nosipho”

I can’t wait any longer.

**********
“Maybe the time is 9pm”, I said.
“Just stay calm”, my mom said.
“I’m running out of patience”, I said.
“We need her help, we should wait”, my mom preached.
“I know, I just want to get this over and done with – I’m tired of waiting, that’s all”
“Oh, Nosipho”
“Really! Mom”
“Do you need this woman’s help?”
“Of course I do”
“You have to wait”

“Your mom is right – you have to wait”, MaKhumalo entered the room.
I didn’t expect her to walk in – I was shocked when she said that.
“I can’t work on you tonight”, the woman said.
“What? Why are we here?”, I was getting irritated.
“This is my house and you are going to abide by my rules”, the woman said.
“When are you planning to start?”, my mom asked politely.
“Tomorrow – maybe the day after tomorrow, that depends on Nosipho’s behaviour”, MaKhumalo
said calmly.
“Okay, we’re going to come back tomorrow”, my mom said.
“Nosipho must stay”, said MaKhumalo.
“Excuse me?”, I asked.
“You must stay”, MaKhumalo repeated. “Okay”, my mom agreed.
“I can’t stay here”, I protested.
“You have to listen to MaKhumalo, she knows what she’s doing”, my mom said.
My mom left me there. I was left with MaKhumalo, she wasn’t a friendly woman.

I went to her lounge, there wasn’t a tv.

“Where’s your tv?”, I asked.
She didn’t answer me.
“You don’t have a tv?”, I asked.
“Did you bring a tv?”, she asked.
“No”, I replied.
“Okay”, she said.
“This house is cold”, I said.
“Did you bring a heater?”, she asked.
“I’m just saying”, I said.
“I’m just asking”, she said.
“This is awkward”, I mumbled.
“Tell me about your dreams”
“I had many dreams”
“Tell me any dream you can remember”
“Sometimes I just collapse and I’m taken to another world – is that dreaming?”
“Partly”
“Partly?”
“We can call it ‘visions'”
“Yes, visions. I remember one time I was driving back to my boyfriend’s house. I saw a woman,
her face was blurry – she threw stuff at my windscreen and it cracked. She also climbed the
front of my car, she kept hitting her elbow against my windscreen, I was terrified. I kept driving, I
ran over her with my car. When I got to my boyfriend’s house, I told him everything. When he
went to check my car, it was perfectly fine. I saw it too, it looked brand new”
“You were hallucinating”
“When I think about it, I have more visions or hallucinations than nightmares. I can’t remember
my dreams but I can remember my visions, or whatever they’re called”
“What connection do you have with a baby?”
“A baby?”
“Yes”
“I…I…I’m pregnant”
“Okay. Just listen to me carefully, I won’t repeat myself. I’m here to help you, I’m not your
friend, I’m an elder to you and I have to be respected by Nosipho at all times. Don’t talk back,
I’m not your mother – we can’t have two big women in this house. Everything I say goes, you
should do everything I say you must do. If you think you can’t abide by my rules, you’re free to
go right now”
“I just need your help”
“That’s not the right answer”
“What must I say?”
“How old are you? Can’t you talk?”
“I can”
“Then what’s wrong?”
“Nothing”
“If you think you can’t abide by my rules you’re free to go right now”
“I understand”
“That’s your reply? You just understand?”
“What do you want me to say?”
“I think I’ll be doing more than helping you with your situation”
“And what’s that?”
“You need to change your attitude”
“What’s wrong with my attitude?”
“How about you stop asking questions and listening?”
“I am, that’s why I’m having a conversation with you”
“Nosipho, you don’t know me”
“I feel like I do know you”
“This is going to be a long process”
“You can say that again”
“Look, you can leave if you don’t need my help”
“I need your help, what do you want me to say or do?”
“Listen. Less talking and more listening”
“But I am”
“Go to that room, now”
“To do what?”
“Stop asking questions, go now”
“Alright”
“You’re so stubborn, I think I have to smack you to your sense”

I went to the room. I sat on the floor, MaKhumalo entered the room.
“Sleep”, she ordered.
I didn’t want to argue but I couldn’t help myself…
“Sleep?”, I asked.
“Stop asking questions”, she said.
I laid on the floor, I closed my eyes but I wasn’t sleepy.
“Sleep…sleep…sleep”, MaKhumalo whispered.

I ended up sleeping.
In the morning, I found MaKhumalo smoking outside.
“Good morning”, I greeted.
“Good morning”, she replied.
“I want to apologise”, I said.
“How was your sleep?”, she asked.
“I slept okay but the floor, eish”, I said.
“What did you want to apologise about?”, she asked.
“About yesterday”
“What about yesterday?”
“I was acting weird maybe it’s my pregnancy hormones”
“Try another excuse”
“I’m sorry, I acted like a mad pregnant woman”
“Okay”
“You accept my apology?”
“If I don’t accept your apology we will have another argument”
“So, will we start today? This afternoon?”
“Who’s in charge here?”
“You are”
“Thank you”
“When will we start?”
“When your attitude changes”
“I apologised”
“So?”
“I thought we will move forward”
“We will move forward, go get a bucket and go fetch some water”
“I’m pregnant”
“Are your hands pregnant?”
“No”
“Go get a bucket and go fetch some water”
“Why am I here?”
“Why are you here?”
“I’m not here to be a maid”
“That water is going to help you. Don’t you want me to begin the whole process?”
“Oh, you should’ve specified”
“You need to learn to listen”
“I’m sorry”
“I feel sorry for you”
“I apologise”
“Stop apologising and go get the bucket, quick, now, now, run”
“Okay”
I rushed inside, I took the bucket and I went to the dam to fetch some water.

Part 26: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

No one was near the dam, it was so quiet. I started pouring the water, suddenly, the water
turned to blood – I stepped back. I felt someone grabbing my shoulder, without noticing who it
was, I pushed the person. When I looked back, I saw MaKhumalo on the floor. I saw the ghost,
charging towards me, I was freaked out – I fainted.
When I woke up, I saw my mom and MaKhumalo. I noticed MaKhumalo had a knife in her hand,
I didn’t know what she was going to do. I was weak, my eyes kept opening and closing weakly. I
felt MaKhumalo cut my arm, she cut my mom’s arm too. Blood was rushing out of my arm,
MaKhumalo took my bloody arm and she placed it on my mom’s cut. MaKhumalo started talking
fast, whatever she said, it didn’t make sense. I just closed my eyes and I slept.
I had a dream – my mom was in my dream. It wasn’t a scary dream, at all.
When I woke up, my mom and MaKhumalo were having a chat in the lounge. I looked at my
arm, I had a plaster – the scar didn’t hurt that much. I felt fresh, I felt on top of the world,
something I haven’t felt in a long time. A huge burden was lifted off my shoulders. I went to join
my mom and MaKhumalo.
“You slept well?”, my mom asked.
“Yes, like a baby”, I smiled.
“I’m glad”, said MaKhumalo. “It’s not over though, your mom has to do a ceremony”, she added.
“I’m going to speak to your father”, my mom said.
“Dad is going to agree, when will this ceremony be?”, I asked.
“This weekend”, my mom replied.
“It’s important that everyone in the family is involved in the ceremony”, said MaKhumalo.
“Yes”, my mom nodded.
“You’re going home today, Nosipho”, said MaKhumalo.
I was happy – excited, really.

We left MaKhumalo’s place and we went to see how grandma was doing. She looked okay, she
was feeling better. We left grandma’s house and we went back home.

Everyone was present, mom was ready to tell everyone the news.
“Can everyone please gather”, my mom said.
Everyone went to the sitting room.
“I told you about Nosipho’s issue. This Saturday, MaKhumalo said I must do a ceremony”, my
mom said.
“Ceremony? Where?”, my dad asked.
“Here”, my mom replied.
“What will people say?”, my dad was worried.
“Who cares? We’re doing this for Nosipho, don’t you want your child to be alright?”, my mom
asked.
“I do want her to be alright. Why don’t we take her to church? We can invite the pastor and the
congregation to pray for her”, my dad said.
“No, we should do the ceremony”, my mom was getting aggravated.
“I’ve been silent for a while, Nobesuthu. This child went to the city, we never did anything. She’s
pregnant now and we still haven’t done anything. Whoever impregnated you should man up, he
must pay for the damages. After all that is done maybe you might do that ceremony”, my dad
expressed.
“We need to do this soon, my husband, this child needs to be cured”, my mom said.
“I’m sorry Nobesuthu, your child should tell her boyfriend to pay for the damages”, my dad left.
“He’s a busy man”, I said.
“I don’t care”, my dad said.
“I don’t have time for this”, Bandile left.
I went to my room and I gave King Pin a call.
He didn’t pick up his phone, I called again. This time he picked up his phone.
“Hey, Nosipho”, he said.
“Where were you?”, I asked.
“I was busy”, he replied.
“Oh”
“Why did you call? Is everything okay?”
“Can’t I call my boyfriend?”
“I’m sorry, how are you?”
“I’m alright and you?”
“I’m fine but I really miss you”
“I miss you too. So…is…is she still there?”
“No”
“Oh”
“I wish you were here”
“Uhm…my dad wants you to pay for the damages”
“What?”
“You impregnated me, he wants you to pay for the damages”
“Oh, that”
“You need to tell your uncles or any male in your family, I don’t know, just come and pay”
“I’m out of town”
“Where are you?”
“Durban”
“Oh”
“But I’ll talk to my uncle, he’s cool – he will agree – and also my friend”
“That would be cool”
“It’s just paying for the damages and nothing more, right?”
“Yeah, what more should be paid for?”
“I don’t know…lobola? I don’t know”
“Oh please”
“It’s not a trap, is it?”
“Quite with the not so funny jokes”
“I’m joking…okay…I think I have to go now”
“I love you”
“I love you too”

I was happy that King Pin agreed. I can’t wait for him to meet my family, he’s a cool guy.
Yay!
**********
The next day, it was Wednesday, I went outside. It was still in the morning, I saw my big brother,
Bandile looking at my car. He was surrounding my car, he saw me then he stopped.
“Do you want to take it for a test drive?”, I asked.
“What makes you think I want to drive your car?”, he asked with an attitude.
“I was just suggesting, I saw how you were looking at it”, I said.
“Do you want to take my taxi for a test drive?”, he asked.
“No, why?”
“You looked at it”
“Hey, I was just suggesting”
“I still don’t get how you bought this car with your own money”
“I still don’t get how you managed to be in Linda’s photo”
“What?”
“Oh, you forgot? I saw a picture of you and Linda”
“Are you sniffing around?”
“No, I saw a picture of you and Linda – that’s all”
“What’s the big deal?”
“You went to the city”
“I went to the city? You’re stupid”
“No, I’m not stupid – you are! I saw the background…you were in Jozi”
“Shame”
“You’ve been judging me for something you’re also guilty of”
“You’re talking shit”
“What did I ever do to you? Is it because I went to the city? What?”
“The world doesn’t revolve around you”
“That’s a pathetic reason. Why do you hate me so much? I’m your sister”
“Leave me alone”
“What did I ever do to you?”
“You would never understand”
“Make me understand”
Bandile just got into his taxi and he drove away angrily.

I received a call from King Pin.

“Hey babe”, I was happy.
“Hey”, he sounded depressed.
“What’s wrong babe?”, I asked.
“Uh – about the damages – ”
“What’s wrong?”
“How about next week?”
“Next week? When?”
“Next week Monday”
“No”
“I’m busy”
“I have to do this ceremony soon”
“What ceremony?”
“It’s a family issue”
“Nosipho, what ceremony?”
“It’s a family thing”
“I’m sorry but we can’t make it this week”
“Whatever”
“Please understand”
“I have to go”
“Already?”
“Bye – ”
“Wait, I love you Nosipho”
“Bye…love you too”

I hope my mother manages to convince my dad about the ceremony. I really want to get
everything over and done with.
I can’t wait.
**********
All my friends were no longer living in the village, I don’t blame them though. I was sitting
outside when I saw a guy I used to attend school with. The same guy I lost my virginity to – the
last time I heard, he was living in King Williams Town. We never really dated. His name is
Mfundo, he looked handsome.
“Nosipho, how are you?”, he asked with a cute smile.
“I’m alright, wow, how are you?”, I asked.
“I’m fine”, he sat on the stoep.
“You’re looking, uhm, good”, I complimented.
He laughed. “You’re looking good too”, he said.
“What are you doing here?”, I asked.
“I just came to see my sister”, he replied.
“Your sister lives here now? I thought she was also in KWT”
“She moved back here, how’s life?”
“Hard – ”
“I know, right? What are you doing at the moment?”
“Nothing, I was an actress back in Jozi but I gave acting a break – for now”
“Wow, Jozi? I also worked in Jozi for a while”
“Really? What job?”
“I was working in a bank, I was a cashier”
“That’s amazing”
“I work in Durban now, I’m still working in a bank and I’m studying accounting”
“Wow, I’m proud of you”
“You said you were an actress, did you get any chance to work with famous actors?”
“Not really, I was new and I had to start from the beginning”
“You’re right”
“You’re living in Durban right now, right?”
“Yes, I’m just on a break. I’m using my week off to my advantage”
“Good for you”
“Where in Jozi did you stay?”
“Sandton”
“I was in Rosebank”
“Okay, are you married or dating or whatever?”
He laughed. “I’m single”
“Don’t lie”
“But I am single”
“Okay”
“And you? Are you married or dating or – ”
“It’s complicated”
“What does that suppose to mean?”
“Complicated should tell it all”
“So you’re in a complicated relationship”
“Yes”
“Remember how we used to be sneaky?”
“How can I forget? Immediately when I saw you, I thought of all the sneaky things we used to
do”
“We never got caught, that’s the best part”
“Yeah, remember when you made your mom tea with salt?”
“Yes! I can still remember the funny face she made, it was hilarious”
“She thought you added salt by mistake”
“Remember when we…you know, in your room”
“My parents are inside the house right now”
“I’m sorry”
“How can I forget? We were young and we were curious”
“Your mom thought we were studying but…”
“I know, it’s really funny when I think about it now”
“Remember, ‘We’re going to marry each other when we’re old enough’ we were really crazy”
“Funny”
“I see everything is going well with you, you’re looking good. Let me go inside and greet your
parents”
“Go in”
Mfundo went in and he greeted my parents. They had a short conversation then he left.

My young brother, Lwazi was walking with a girl, when he approached the gate, the girl
returned.
“Lwazi you have a girlfriend now”, I teased.
“No, she’s my classmate”, he said.
“Classmate? Liar”, I said.
“Really”, he sat on the stoep.
“If you say so”, I smiled.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Go ahead”
“How’s pregnancy?”
“Lwazi…”
“I want to know”
“Why do you want to know?”
“Because I want to know”
“Pregnancy is okay, I guess”
“Does it hurt?”
“No, why are you asking me these questions?”
“Can you keep a secret?”
“Yes, you can trust me – I’m not Bandile”
“My girlfriend is pregnant”
“What?”
“Sssh!”
“Lwazi!”
“My girl told me today”
“The girl you were walking with?”
“No, she’s my girl’s friend”
“What are you going to do?”
“She won’t tell her parents anytime soon”
“Why?”
“Because I would be in trouble and they will come here”
“Just tell mom and dad”
“No ways! I’m not doing that”
“If you delay it, you will be in more trouble. It’s better to tell them now”
“No, Nosipho. You promised to keep it a secret”
“I will”
“I trust you, I don’t trust Bandile”
“I also don’t trust Bandile. I don’t know why he hates me so much. Did he ever tell you why he
doesn’t like me that much?”
“He never told me why. I don’t think he hates you, he just has issues with himself”

I couldn’t have said it any better, Lwazi is a smart kid. I really love him.
I hope everything turns out great.
**********
One week later.
I spent the morning giving King Pin directions to my village. I was excited for him to finally meet
my family. The house was spotless clean, my mom baked scones – tasty if I may add. My dad
was ready, he’s been ready – oh, my annoying big brother was also there. I hope he doesn’t
ruin everything because he’s good at ruining things.

Finally, King Pin arrived. He was driving a Range Rover. I immediately went to my room, as my
mom instructed me earlier. I could hear different voices, two to be precise but I didn’t hear King
Pin’s voice. I peeked, I didn’t see King Pin – I gave him a call. He told me he’s in the car and he
will enter the house when instructed by his uncle. He also told me his friend, Tim was there.
I stayed in my room as they negotiated in the sitting room. I listened to everything, it was then
time for me to meet King Pin’s uncle and friend. My mom said I must give them something to
eat. I poured cool drink and filled each plate with scones, then I went to serve them. I also made
King Pin something to eat too although he was still in his car outside.
They were sharing jokes, everyone seemed happy. King Pin entered the house, I could see my
father’s facial expressions changing. What did this mean? Maybe my dad doesn’t like King Pin?
What does it mean? My mom looked shocked.
“This is Thando Dlomo”, his uncle introduced him to my family.
“You look exactly like my older brother, Wiseman Ndamase”, my dad said.
“People look alike”, said King Pin.
“No, you look like my brother. Who’s your father?”, my dad asked.
“My dad died long time ago”, King Pin sat on the couch.
“Do you know Wiseman Ndamase?”, my dad asked.
“No”, King Pin replied.
“I also don’t know him”, King Pin’s uncle said.
“Thando Dlomo, my brother passed away 19 years ago. His son’s name was Thandolwethu, I
believe his mother’s last name was Dlomo”, my dad said.
“My full name is Thandolwethu Dlomo”, said King Pin.
There was silence in the house.

“It’s him, it must be him”, my dad looked at my mom.

“Give your mother a call, just to verify”, my mom said.
“My mom is not alive”, said King Pin.
“I can’t lie and say, yes Wiseman was Thando’s real father, I don’t know. I’m the youngest out of
all the siblings. I was young when my sister was pregnant with Thando. Let me phone my
brother, he older than me. Let me go outside”, King Pin’s uncle went outside.
It’s like my heart stopped. I hope he’s not what I think he is…
King Pin’s uncle entered the house, everyone was quiet.
“I just spoke to my brother, Wiseman is Thando’s real father”, King Pin’s uncle said.
King Pin covered his face with his hands, my mom hugged him. My dad’s eyes were teary, I’ve
never seen my dad like that.
“Nosipho was impregnated by her cousin? No wonder she’s seeing ghosts and fainting every
chance she gets”, Bandile said.
“She didn’t know!”, my mom defended me.
“What’s going to happen now? This is a disgrace, your child always brings shame to this family.
It’s like she has a dark cloud following her”, Bandile shouted my mother.
“Bandile, Bandile, stop acting like a boy”, my dad interrupted.
Bandile stormed out of the house. I felt dizzy, I saw the ghost, she threw a broken glass at me, I
tried to avoid it but it cut my chest. Blood started flowing, my chest was painful. I fainted.
I still can’t believe my first true love was my cousin.
I can’t believe it!
**********
I woke up in bed, King Pin was sitting besides me.
“Are you okay?”, he placed his hand on my forehead to feel my body heat.
“I think I’m fine”, I sat up.
“Let me drive you to the doctor”, he said.
“No – thanks but no”, I said.
“This isn’t healthy for you and most importantly the baby”, he said.
“There’s someone helping me”
“Is that person a doctor?”
“Yes, a traditional doctor”
“Nosi – ”
“She knows what she’s doing”
“And a qualified doctor who went to school doesn’t?”
“I’m not saying that – you wouldn’t understand”
“You’ve been through hell, Nosipho. I don’t want you to lose the baby”
“I won’t lose the baby”
“Look, I might be your long lost cousin but that’s still my baby and I’ll take care of her”
“Do you think that’s how things will be?”
“What do you mean?”
“You don’t know this family. Do you think you’re going to be part of the baby’s life?”
“Of course”
 “My family won’t allow you to be part of the baby’s life. You’re just going to be the ‘uncle’ and
nothing else”
“I’m going to be the father to that baby, I don’t care what your family say or people say”
“Please leave”
“What?”
“I need some time to myself”
“Okay, if you need someone to talk to, I’m always here”
“Okay”
King Pin exited my room. It’s like I was dreaming, I couldn’t believe King Pin was my cousin.

My mom entered my room.

“I spoke to your dad, we’re having the ceremony tomorrow”, my mom said.
I didn’t say anything.
“It’s a good thing that we finally found Wiseman’s son. It wouldn’t be possible if it wasn’t for you,
Nosipho. Thank you”, my mom smiled.
“Why am I cursed?”, I asked.
“You’re not cursed, my child”, my mom said.
“Everytime things are going well for me, something bad occurs”
“Life is complicated, my child”
“Mine is way too complicated”
“Life would be pointless if there weren’t complications”
“I just wish I can sleep and never wake up”
“Be careful what you wish for”
“Mom, do I have a dark cloud on top of me?”
“No, no, my child”
“People don’t like me”
“You’re a beautiful girl inside and out”
“I hope people saw that”
“What happened in the city?”
“A lot”
“What exactly?”
“Mom, I don’t want to bore you with my stories”
“I had a chat with MaKhumalo, she says ghosts like to feed on negative energy. Maybe that’s
why you faint so much and have bad visions”
“I don’t know, maybe”
“Are you feeling well?”
“No, I mean, I don’t know how to feel”
“We can schedule the ceremony”
“No – ”
“Alright”
“No, don’t. I want to get this over and done with”
“Sounds good to me”
“Mom can I ask you something?”
“Yes, anything”
“Uhm…Why would Bandile hate me?”
“Bandile doesn’t hate you”
“He does, I don’t know what I did to him. Maybe there’s something I don’t know – ”
“Bandile is just an over protective brother”

My dad called for an urgent family meeting in the sitting room.

I wonder what he’s going to talk about.

Part 27: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

We all went to the sitting room. When I say all I mean, me, my mom, my dad, Bandile, Lwazi,
King Pin, King Pin’s uncle and his friend, Tim.

“I asked all of you here because we have a big problem. As you all may know, Nosipho is
pregnant with Thandolwethu’s child. That is incest and it’s not something to be proud of. I don’t
want people to know about this nor should the baby when he or she grows up”, my dad said.
“It’s a she”, Nosipho interrupted.
“This is a disgrace, seriously, I hope everyone participate in keeping this a secret”, my dad said.
“I can’t”, King Pin said. People were shocked.
“You have to”, my dad said.
“I can’t act like I don’t have a child. I want to be there for my child unlike my father”, King Pin
expressed.
“Hey boy! You don’t know Wiseman! He wanted the best for you but he didn’t have the
opportunity”, my dad was angry.
“Uncle, you see? I didn’t come here to be degraded. I’m not a boy, I’m not a boy!”, King Pin was
angry.
“I saw you entering this house, you were pissing, pissing, pissing now you’re shitting here”,
Bandile interrupted.
“I wasn’t talking to you”, King Pin quickly shut Bandile.
Bandile stood up, “This is my father’s house, you don’t have a right to yell at him or talk back.
You’re just a visitor”, he was pointing at King Pin.
“Sit down and shut up”, I was sick and tired of Bandile.
He took out his belt, he wanted to hit me.
“I’m going to beat the sins out of you”, he said.
King Pin stood in front of me – he was protecting me.
“Okay, everyone sit down”, my dad said.
“Thando, it’s okay man, sit down”, King Pin’s uncle gently pushed King Pin to his seat.
King Pin went out, I followed him. He went to his car.

“Don’t let him get to you”, I said.

“I’m not related to this family”, he said. “I don’t know about that”, I said.
“I want to leave right now and never come back”
“Please, listen to me”
“What Nosipho? Do you believe we’re related?”
“I don’t know”
“Do you still love me?”
“You already know the answer to that”
“Do you still love me, yes or no?”
“Of course, I will always love you”
“Fuck this cousin shit, my heart beats for you Nosipho”
“King Pin – ”
“Let’s go somewhere without drama, let’s start a new life and raise our child together”
“I…Look, King Pin… I – ”
“I thought you said you loved me”
“I do but – ”
“But what?”
“I’ve disappointed my parents many times, it’s time for me to do the right thing”
“Are you staying here? Forever?”
“No but – ”
“But this, but that. Why are you always full of stories? Why can’t you for once be yourself”
“I am”
“You care more about what people say”
“Who doesn’t?”
“I don’t”
“You’re lying to yourself, everyone does give a damn about what other people say”
“I don’t give a shit about what other people say. I just want to leave this place ASAP! No
wonder you left this village”
“What’s wrong with you King Pin?”
“What’s wrong with you?”

I got out of King Pin’s car, I was angry. I saw MaKhumalo approaching the gate, I just went
inside the house and straight to my bedroom.
I heard MaKhumalo’s voice, I wasn’t in the mood. My mom called me but I didn’t answer, she
entered my room.
“MaKhumalo is here”, she said.
“I’m tired”, I lied.
“Nosipho, if you want to be better you have to see MaKhumalo, she’s here to help you”, my
mom said.
“I’ll be there in a minute”, I said.

I closed my eyes, I took a deep breath in and out. I went to meet MaKhumalo in the sitting room.
I wasn’t in the mood – there’s too much drama.
**********
MaKhumalo was drinking water, I saw King Pin – I quickly looked away.
“We can’t delay the ceremony, young girl”, said MaKhumalo.
“I told her”, my mom said.
“I need everyone to support Nosipho and Nobesuthu. Everyone has to be happy, free,
supportive – everyone has to have a positive vibe. Ghosts feed on negative energies, we want
everything to go according to plan”, said MaKhumalo.
“We’re just visitors, well, me and this gentleman over there”, King Pin’s uncle said.
“Can I please talk to the family, only?”, asked MaKhumalo.
“Okay, we’ll excuse you for a while”, King Pin’s uncle and Tim went out.
King Pin sat on the edge of his seat.
“You may stay son”, my dad said to King Pin.

MaKhumalo told us that we need to be positive. If everything goes well tomorrow, I’ll be fine. By
the looks of things, King Pin is going to spend the night at our house. I don’t know how to react,
I really don’t. It’s not going to be a ceremony where the community gets involved, it’s only for the
family. MaKhumalo will be there to assist. Grandma, Mongezi, Babalwa and Amandla will also
attend the ceremony.
MaKhumalo left, so did Tim and King Pin’s uncle. King Pin was going to spend a few days – my
father was happy because King Pin reminded him of his older brother, Wiseman. Bandile was
the same old annoying, hard-headed ‘boy’.

@ 6PM
I went outside just to cool off. The evening breeze was refreshing, I admired the beautiful
sunset, I smiled as I looked up. I felt someone brushing my hair, I froze, who’s that? I hope it’s
not that stupid ghost. Maybe it was King Pin…
“Beautiful”, this person said.
It was definitely a guy’s voice and it wasn’t King Pin or Lwazi or yuck, Bandile. I slowly turned.
“Hey”, Mfundo said with a smile.
“Mfundo, what are you doing here?”, I asked.
“That wasn’t the response I was looking for but since you asked, I just came to see you”, he
said.
“Oh, I thought you left”, I said.
“No”, he replied.
I didn’t say anything, I didn’t know what to say – it was awkward basically.

“When I see you, I just remember all the things we used to do”, he said.
I kept quite.
“We used to watch the sunset, do you remember?”, he asked.
“Yes, I can remember it like it was yesterday”, I said.
“It was cute, remember you said I was the most romantic guy?”, he laughed.
I smiled.
King Pin didn’t know I was sitting with Mfundo.
“Are you okay?”, he asked.
“I’m alright”, I replied.
“Oh, I didn’t know you had a visitor. I’ll give you guys some time”, he said.
“No, you can sit with us, right Mfundo?”, I asked.
“Yes, you can chill with us”, said Mfundo.
“No, I’ll go inside”, King Pin insisted.
“If you say so”, I said.
King Pin left.
“Who’s that?”, Mfundo asked.
“He’s…a family friend”, I replied.
“Okay. Hey, uhm, I’m going to town tomorrow, would you like to come along?”, he asked.
“I can’t, sorry”
“Oh”
“Thanks for inviting me but there will be a family gathering tomorrow”
“Okay, uhm, cool”
“Thank you”
“I – I just, I just wanted to, you know, catch up with you but I respect that. I hope the family
gathering goes well”
“Thanks”
“Uhm, I think I have to go…it’s getting late”
“Mfundo?”
“Yes”
“Send my greeting to your sister”
“I will”
“Bye”
“Bye”

I watched Mfundo disappeared.

“I hope I made you smile like that”, King Pin teased.
“I wasn’t smiling”, I said.
“Who’s that?”, he asked.
“That’s just a friend”, I said.
“Your ‘boy’?”
“I have many guy friends – ”
“I know, I was just asking”
“I know”
“Why didn’t you tell me about the ghost?”
“You would think I was crazy, like that day you checked my car”
“I didn’t say you were crazy”
“You asked if I was high, no difference”
“Don’t put words in my mouth”
“If I told you would you have believed me?”
“Honestly, no”
“Thank you for your honesty. Now you know why I kept that from you, I told my family recently. I
was basically hiding it from them too”
“I asked if you loved me, you didn’t answer me directly”
“I told you, I will always love you”
“What are we?”
“Cousins”
“Oh fuck, you see?”
“What? But that’s the truth though”
“Do you wish I wasn’t your, I can’t believe I’ll say this but, cousin?”
“I ask God, over and over, why did he take my only happiness. My love for you was real, I knew
my love for you was strong when I stood my ground and told myself, ‘I must fight for what’s
mine, fuck Foxy’ it was real”
“Was?”
“Is, was, I’m confused”
“Just so you know, we’re still dating. We never broke up”
“Funny”
“We’re dating cousins”
“I think we should listen to my dad”
“Why do you always play by the rules?”
“I told you, I want to do things, you know, right”
“You never cared about anyone but yourself”
“I grew up”
“Overnight?”
“Don’t mock me”
“I know you still love me with all your heart, I know you want to continue this relationship and I
know you’re tempted to make out with me right now”
“I still love you but I don’t want to get into trouble”
“Trouble? Fuck trouble, look at you, you’re looking sexy. If we were at my house I would’ve
gave it to you – ”
“King Pin!”
“What? Don’t tell me you don’t miss this dick”
“Oh my goodness, shut up”
“Kiss me”
“No”
“Come on, we’re at the back of the house, everyone is inside the house”
“These neighbours are sneaky”
“Am I going to sleep in your bed?”
“My dad will kill you”
“I have blue balls”
“So?”
“I want to park my BMW in your garage”
“Let me leave, you’re crazy”
“Don’t”
“Let’s go inside”
“Lead the way”
“Alright”
“I like what I see”
“Shut up, you’re such a pervert”
“I’m tempted to squeeze your ass but I just remember you said these neighbours were sneaky”
“They are”

King Pin is crazy, he makes me laugh.

I can’t wait for tomorrow.
**********
The next morning, the weather was sunny. I woke up feeling fresh, King Pin opted to sleep on
the couch. He already took a bath, he was looking good although he wore the same clothes. I
took a bath and I had my breakfast after I was done. Everyone got ready because MaKhumalo
said the ceremony will start at 10am.
Grandma, Mongezi, Babalwa and Amandla arrived. My dad introduced them to King Pin, he
didn’t tell her the truth, he said King Pin was my friend. There was a small family reunion going
on, people were laughing, I caught a glimpse of Bandile laughing. I was happy that there was
some sort of a positive vibe going on. My grandma is a joker, she shared jokes and the mood in
the house was chilled.
MaKhumalo finally arrived. She brought imphepho (sage herb), a bucket, a straw mat and two
beaded bracelets. We moved the table, MaKhumalo placed the straw mat on the spot where the
table was placed.
“This is going to be a short ceremony”, said MaKhumalo.
She told me and my mom to sit on the straw mat. The rest of the family made a circle holding
hands, surrounding me and my mom.
“I want everyone to relax, don’t be tense”, said MaKhumalo.
She burned imphepho (sage herb) and she moved around the sitting room.
“Please pour some water in this bucket”, MaKhumalo gave Lwazi the bucket.
Lwazi quickly ran to the tank which was outside.
“Relax, don’t worry about anything. Clear all your negative thoughts”, said MaKhumalo.
Lwazi came back with the bucket full of water.
“Everyone come and wash your hands here”, she said.
One by one we went to wash our hands.

MaKhumalo told everyone to close their eyes. She started shaming the ghost. “You’re evil, you
deserve to rot in hell”, she said.
I didn’t have any clue how this ceremony will be conducted.

MaKhumalo started singing and stomping her feet.

“There’s a negative force in this room”, MaKhumalo stopped singing.
I started shaking uncontrollably, I stopped after a while. The scar on my arm started to hurt, I
saw my mom holding onto the scar on her arm.
“Ouch”, I was in pain.
“There’s a negative force in this room”, MaKhumalo repeated.
“Can’t you get rid of this negative force?”, my dad asked.
“I can’t purify someone’s soul”, replied MaKhumalo.
“This person is in the room, amongst us?”, my dad asked.
“Yes”, MaKhumalo started surrounding everyone that was holding hands.

Clouds started forming and it began to rain. I wasn’t the only person who saw that, everyone
did.
I felt sleepy, it was so sudden but I closed my eyes and I slept.
When I woke up I was on a bed, maybe I was dreaming. I am dreaming, of course I am.
I didn’t know where I was, where am I?
**********
I woke up in other room. I saw a guy, he was a bit far from where I was standing. I followed him,
he didn’t know I was following him. He entered a room, I looked around to see if no one was
there, I entered the room. I saw a long table, there was food everywhere on the table and many
people were seated. When I walked in, everyone looked at me.
“Take a seat young lady”, an old lady kindly said.
There was only one seat which was not occupied, I sat there.
“Where am I?”, I asked.
“You’re in your thoughts”, the old lady replied.
“Thoughts? What are you all doing in ‘my’ thoughts?”, I asked.
“Shall we dine?”, the old lady asked with a smile.
“Go ahead, I’m not that hungry anyway”, I said.
“You have to eat, the baby needs to grow healthily”, an old lady with a husky voice said.
I couldn’t believe she knew I was pregnant, I sat there in disbelief.

They started eating, when I looked on my left, I saw Bandile. I was shocked.
“What are you doing here?”, I asked.
“What are you doing here?”, he also asked.
“I don’t know, why are you in my thoughts?”, I asked.
“I don’t know, how am I suppose to know?”, he asked.

I woke up, everyone was watching me.

“What did you see?”, asked MaKhumalo.
I looked at Bandile.
“Nothing”, I lied.
“Nothing? You were moving your limbs”, she said.
“I saw nothing, it was…blurry”, I said.
“Close your eyes again and concentrate”, MaKhumalo gently placed my head on a pillow.
“Close your eyes and concentrate, concentrate”, she said.
I closed my eyes.

I saw Bandile standing under a tree, I went to him.

“Why are you avoiding me?”, I asked.
“I’m avoiding you? Heh, you like everything to be about you, right”, he looked the other way.
“What did I ever do to you?”, I asked.
“Can you please stop asking me that annoying question”
“Are you jealous?”
“Of you?”
“Yes”
“What’s there to be jealous about?”
“I went to the city, I came back with lots of money and I have a nice car”
“I’m jealous of you? I’m jealous of you, Nosipho Ndamase? You’re too full of yourself, anyway
why would I be jealous of someone who didn’t even work hard for what she has?”
“I was an actress, I worked hard – what are you? Yes, just a taxi driver”
“Yes, I’m just a taxi driver. I’m not ashamed of that, why can’t you tell people the truth?”
“What truth?”
“Tell them how you got the car”
“I worked for the car, I paid the car with the money I made from my acting jobs”
“Keep lying to yourself”

I woke up, I was sweating.

“Did you see anything? You’re sweating”, said MaKhumalo.
“No”, I lied again.
“How is this possible?”, my mom asked.
“This is serious, I’m not here to play. Tell the truth Nosipho”, MaKhumalo was getting pissed.
“I will concentrate, I promise”, I went back to sleep again.
“Concentrate”, said MaKhumalo.

I was standing on the balcony, I felt someone kissing my neck. He held my waist, he pressed
himself against my ass. He whispered, “Hey”. I turned around. It was Mfundo.
“I miss you”, he said.
“Mfundo, what are you doing here?”, I asked.
“I’m here for you”, he kissed me on my forehead.
“But – “, I couldn’t finish what I was going to say, he kissed me.

We kissed, it felt so wrong, I pulled away.

“This is wrong”, I said.
“What? I know you liked it”, he said.
“I’m not that girl, okay?”, I said.
“You were my partner in crime, remember? Come on”, he said.
“I don’t want to”
“Nosipho”
“No, Mfundo”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t have feelings for you”
“We can just be…”
“Be what?”
“Look, we can just have fun”
“I’m sorry Mfundo”
“I know you want to kiss me, you forgot you just kissed me?”
“You kissed me”
“And you kissed me back”

I woke up, MaKhumalo and everyone were watching me.

“And?”, she asked.
“I was chased by someone”, I lied.
“Did you see who it was?”, she asked.
“No”, I lied.

*sigh*
**********
“Nosipho, this is not a joke”, said MaKhumalo.
“I know, I know”, I said.
“My child, please concentrate”, my mom said.
“I am concentrating”, I said.
MaKhumalo looked me in the eye, I quickly looked away.
I closed my eyes again.

I saw Bandile stick fighting, he was shirtless, he was sweating like a hoe in church. I took a
bottle of water and offered him.
“Here, you need it”, I handed him the bottle of water.
“No, I’ll pass”, he said.
“Come on, it’s hot and you look tired”, I said.
“I said no”, he said.
“Jeez, I was just being kind”, I said.
“If I wanted water, I would stop what I’m doing and go get water”, he said.
“Meet me half way, can you? I’m just trying my best to mend whatever’s broken between us”, I
said.
“And you thought this would help?”
“I’m just being nice to you, what’s your problem”
He came towards me, we were eye to eye.
“Stop licking my ass, will you?”, he said.
“I just want my big brother back”, I said.
He walked away, I followed him.
“Talk to me, please”, I begged.
“Stop beating yourself. Leave me alone”, he said.
“I want to know what’s wrong with me or you. Please”, I was trying my best to catch up with him,
he was walking fast. “Leave me alone”, he shouted.
“Bandile!”, I stood there.

I woke up.
“Did you see anything?”, asked MaKhumalo.
“No”, I lied.
“I’m done with this, Nobesuthu, talk to your child. I’m here to help you Nosipho, stop lying. I
know something must have happened, tell the truth right now or I’ll leave and never come back”,
she threatened.
“Nosipho, tell the truth”, my mom said. “Nosipho, this woman is here to help you”, my dad said.
“My child, tell the truth”, my grandma said.
I was being pressurised.

“I saw…I saw…I saw myself”, I lied.

“What were you doing?”, asked MaKhumalo.
“I was sleeping”, I said.
“Sleeping?”, MaKhumalo was confused. “I can’t explain it, I was sleeping peacefully. I saw
myself, it’s like I had two bodies”, I said.
“You didn’t see the ghost?”, she asked. “No, ever since my arm was cut, I haven’t seen the
ghost”, I said.
“That’s a good thing”, said MaKhumalo.
It was still raining heavily, MaKhumalo said when the sun comes out, I’ll be cured. It was a
waiting game, if the sun didn’t come out that day, that would mean I will still faint. I was really
scared, I lied to MaKhumalo and the rest of the family, maybe the end results won’t be good.
Grandma, Mongezi, Babalwa and Amandla left – Bandile drove them to their house, it was still
raining. MaKhumalo told my mom to spend the next two days at her house, she wanted to do a
small ritual. MaKhumalo left, it was still raining.

I hope the rain stops.

Part 28: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

I went to my room, I watched the rain on the window. King Pin came in the room.
“That was a freaky experience”, he said.
“We had to”, I said.
“I know”, he sat on my bed.
“Are you enjoying your time here?”, I asked.
“To be honest, no”, he replied.
“I’m making your life hell, right? With all my weird stuff going on”, I said.
“It’s not you, it’s this place. I’m used to the city, I don’t know how you managed to live here for
over 18 years”, he said.
“I learned to adapt”
“It will take me a while”
“Have you spoken to dad?”
“Yes, he can’t stop talking about my father. He says he was a gentleman”
“My dad really loved your dad”
“When your dad told me about Wiseman, my dad, I couldn’t help but notice how different we
are. If he raised me, I think I would’ve left home or something”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. He’s good and I’m bad”
“No you’re not!”
“Do you think my dad would’ve been proud of me?”
“Yeah”
“You’re just saying that”
“Really, you’re successful”
“Wherever his soul is rested, I don’t think he approves of the businesses I’m running”
“He’s proud of you”
“Your dad was planning to show me my father’s grave today but it’s raining”
“You’re a good man, King Pin”
“I’m trying”
“You really changed compared to the first time we met”
“Oh, I don’t even want to think about that”
“Why?”
“Because it’s silly. You even tried calling the security, how embarrassing”
“You were a crazy psycho, you said you had money and you wanted to marry me”
“I said that?”
“Yes, you forgot?”
“Damn, that’s bad! Maybe I was high”
“Maybe”
“That’s embarrassing”
“You used to swear a lot”
“I still do”
“But not like you used to”
“Yeah, but when I’m mad, I swear like a maniac”
“Maniac? It’s a good thing when it comes out of the horse’s mouth”
“We really been through hell”
“I know, hey”
“This place might be crappy and stuff but it’s good for relaxation. The city is loud, this place is
quiet – peaceful”
“You don’t have to live in a fancy neighbourhood to see a beautiful view. You just get out of the
house and see it all”
“Yes”
“I always thought you and Bandile would get along”
“I don’t give a shit about that one”
“He’s your cousin”
“So?”
“He might be an ass but try and get along with him”
“I don’t respect him”
“Just fake it”
“He doesn’t even respect you”
“I don’t know what I ever did to him”
“He treats you like you’re not his sister. I would kill for a sibling, seriously”
“I’ve learned to deal with it”
“When are you coming to Jozi?”
“I was thinking of coming with you, when are you leaving?”
“In three days”
“I hope this stupid rain stops”
“Me too”
“I need to go see the doctor for a check up”
“You don’t look like you’re pregnant”
“It’s better that I don’t have a big stomach”
“You’re the sexiest pregnant woman I’ve seen”
“Oh, stop”
“Really”
“Thanks”
My bedroom door was closed. King Pin leaned over to kiss me. I looked the other way.
“Come on”, he whispered.
“Someone might walk in on us, this door doesn’t even have a key to lock”, I said.
“Just sssh…”, he placed his finger on my mouth. “You have perfect lips”, he said.
“Please”, I looked down.
“Let’s play tonsil hockey, I know you want to”, he licked my ear.
“Please, don’t tempt me”, I whispered.
“You’re not perfect, we’re both sinners – just like everybody else”, he kissed my cheek.
“King Pin”, I sighed.
“Your perfect chest”, he gently squeezed my boobs.
“Please”, I whispered.
“I want you”, he kissed my neck.

He was tempting me. I shall not be tempted by my own cousin.

**********
“I want to take your panties off”, his hand grasped my thighs.
“And forgive us our sins”, I whispered.
“I know you want me”, he kissed my chin.
“As we forgive those who trespass against us”, I whispered.
“I want you to curl your toes and aggressively grab the sheets as we make love”, he licked my
neck.
“And lead us not into temptation”, I whispered.
He kissed me, I just sat there, I was really tempted.
“You’re my cousin”, I said.
“Fuck that shit”, he said.
We started kissing, I laid on my back and he was on top of me. The next thing I knew, he was
breathing heavily on top of me, I let out a moan. At that moment it seemed right, it just felt right.
I had sex with King Pin, thanks God nobody opened the door.

King Pin took the ‘towel’ and he went out of my room. As I looked up in the ceiling, guilt
overwhelmed me. I shouldn’t have let temptation control me but it happened anyway. I don’t
know if I’ll get over the fact that King Pin is my cousin.
Good news though, the rain stopped. I rejoiced, my mom was so happy, she hugged me. My
mom was going to spend two days at MaKhumalo’s house. My dad was going to visit a family
friends’ house, they were going to have a ceremony.
When the sky cleared, my dad went with King Pin to Wiseman’s grave. I was left with Bandile,
Lwazi was not home. It was awkward.

“What were you doing in my thoughts?”, I asked.

“Excuse me?”, he was surprised.
“You didn’t know?”, I asked.
“What are you talking about?”, he asked.
“Oh, I thought you were aware”
“Of?”
“I saw you”
“I’m lost”
“When I closed my eyes, I dreamt of you”
“And?”
“That’s weird”
“Why didn’t you tell MaKhumalo the truth?”
“I thought you were aware of that”
“I wasn’t, now I am”
“Oh”
Bandile relaxed on the couch, he laid on his back and he closed his eyes. I looked at him. I
couldn’t believe it, I thought he was aware. The way he looked at me when everyone was
holding hands, it’s like he was guilty.
“I can feel your heavy eyes prying at me”, he looked at me.
“Why are you so cold?”, I asked.
“Cold? And you’re warm?”, he asked.
“I’m not joking”, I said.
“I’m not laughing”, he said.
“You’re so childish”
“You’re childish”
“Get a life”
“I already have a life. You should get a life”
“Mxm”
“How does it feel to know your boyfriend is your cousin? That’s disgusting”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about”
“You’re impregnated by your cousin, no wonder you’re experiencing problems”.
Bandile knows how to push my buttons.
**********
“I don’t know what’s your problem with me!”, I shouted.
“You don’t care about other people, that’s my problem with you!”, he yelled.
‘I do care, Bandile. You’re always cold towards me. Only me”
“I hate what you did to this family”
“It was a mistake”
“You clearly didn’t learn from your mistake”
“Please don’t judge me, don’t even judge me”
“That’s not a baby growing inside you”
“You’re mad”
“That’s not a baby, that’s a snake”
“God bless you, Bandile”
“You don’t even notice how I…how I…”
“I can’t believe you”
“I once cared for you but you were…”
“This isn’t my fault, don’t even make it my faults. Bandile, I won’t be an excuse for your
insecurities”
“Insecure about what?”
“You’re insecure about everything. You’re not an angel, you’re not innocent. I know you went to
Johannesburg to meet with your girlfriend, Linda”
“Shut up”
“You’re just like your girlfriend, you’re both evil”
“I will squeeze the air out of your body if you say that again”
 “When things don’t go according to your wishes you always resort to violence. Be a man for
once and stand your ground, do you have a penis or a vagina?”
“I’ll beat you, I swear – this baby will come pop out”
“You’re a coward!”
“What did you just say?”
“I said you are a coward”
“I’m a coward?”
“Yes you are”
“Sorry for being a coward. I should’ve told you this a long time ago but excuse my cowardly
ways – ”
“What’s that?”
“You’re nothing but a naïve, stupid, slut who goes around opening her legs for money”
“I’m not a slut!”
“Every guy in Jozi knows you, they know you too well”
“How do you know?”
“I’m a taxi driver, I’ve got friends who drive around”
“Liar”
“Oh, how do you think mom and dad will react when they find out that their precious little girl
was a stripper and not an actress?”
“I was an actress!”
“Shame, really?”
“I’m telling the truth”
“You’re a sneaky girl. I wonder how dad will react when he finds out that his nephew is involved
in dirty businesses”
“You don’t know King P – Thando!”
“I might not know this King Pin guy but what I do know is that he’s involved in dirty dealings and
you, my precious little sister, you are not innocent too”
“Who told you that rubbish?”
“I told you, I have friends”
“Please don’t tell mom and dad”
“I won’t if you promise me to stay away from this King Pin, Thando, whatever his name is.
You’re disgracing our family”
“He’s my cousin”
“Exactly, he’s just your cousin. If I ever catch you looking all lovey dovey with this guy, I’ll tell
mom and dad”
“There’s nothing happening between us, we’re just cousins”
“I hope you’re telling the truth”

I don’t know who told Bandile this, whoever this is, deserves to rot in hell.
My heart sunk.
**********
King Pin and my dad returned. I made them something to eat, Bandile was out – he went to do
his useless job. After my dad ate, I ironed his clothes and packed his clothes. He left, my mom
was at MaKhumalo’s house for that ritual.

I was alone with King Pin.

“At last, we’re alone”, he went to sat next to me. “I really miss our alone time, you were right,
there’s no privacy in here whatsoever”, he said.
He massaged my shoulders.
“You’re tense”, he whispered in my ear. “King Pin, stop”, I said.
“I’m just massaging you babe, this stress is not good for the baby”, he said.
“Stop what you’re doing”
“Come on, you never tell me to stop massaging you, I’m the best at this”
“I’m not joking King Pin”
“Don’t act like you’re not enjoying the massage, hmm, nice, hey?”
“I said stop fucking massaging me!”
“Hey, relax your medulla oblangata”
“We should stop this”
“Is this the same person who was moaning in the room saying, ‘oh, harder, harder King Pin,
fuck me’?”
“Bandile knows”
“Oh, that nigga’s name comes up”
“Really, he knows”
“That we had sex?”
“No, what I did in the city and what business you’re in”
“I don’t care”
“You don’t care?”
“Nosipho, why do you care about what other people think or say? I don’t get that shit”
“King Pin, do you know how my mom and dad will react when they find out the truth?”
“No”
“Yeah, that’s right, you don’t know”
“So?”
“So you can’t act like you know”
“You should calm down”
“Calm down? Calm down? My brother who happens to hate me, knows everything he shouldn’t
know”
“I’ll talk to him”
“No!”
“Why?”
“No…uh…no, please don’t”
“I want to talk to him, man to man”
“He said I must stay away from you”
“That’s bullshit!”
“I know, but we should or else he’ll tell mom and dad”
“What’s wrong with this guy?”
“I think it’s the right thing to do”
“And you support that shit?”
“I don’t have any choice”
“You do”
“Please, King Pin”
“I can’t believe you”
“I love you, I really do – ”
“I love you too but – ”
“If you really love me, please do this one thing for me, please”
“It will be hard – ”
“I know but as long as we got each other’s back”
“I got your back”
“I got yours too”

King Pin can be a darling sometimes.

That evening I cooked supper, I mean, who else would?
*sigh*
* * * * * ** * * *
Lwazi came home and left again, he said he was going to sleep at a friend’s house. Bandile
invited Mfundo, I don’t know why he did that – that’s spiteful if you ask me. Luckily, there was
plenty of food. I dished for him too.
“This food is delicious”, Mfundo said with a mouth full.
“Remember when you used to cook with Nosipho? You guys looked cute together”, said
Bandile.
He was so obvious, he was trying to make King Pin jealous.
“I can remember that, I loved every moment”, said Mfundo.
“Please pass the sauce”, King Pin said to Bandile.
Bandile looked at me, “Of course cuz”, he faked a smile.
“So what do you do for a living?”, asked King Pin.
“I’m a bank cashier”, replied Mfundo.
“Bank cashier? Sounds boring”, said King Pin.
“It is, but I’m studying accounting. I want to be an accountant”, said Mfundo.
“When you’re a qualified accountant, you can be my personal accountant”, King Pin joked.
“Why not?”, Mfundo laughed.
They were both laughing, Bandile was jealous.
“Why don’t you share with Mfundo what you do for a living”, said Bandile.
“Yes, I forgot to ask what you do for a living”, said Bandile.
“Oh, I am a businessman”, King Pin confidently said.
“He’s one of the successful businessmen in Jozi”, I added.
“Really? That’s amazing, what business do you do?”, Mfundo asked.
“I have a club, it’s a strip club”, replied King Pin.
“Wow, I’d love to visit your club, what is it called?”, Mfundo was so enthusiastic. “Poker Face
Strip Club”, replied King Pin.
“I’ve heard of that club, great things. I always wanted to check that club out but I was always
busy”, said Mfundo.
“You can visit anytime man, drinks on me on your first visit”, said King Pin.
“That’s cool, I will. I hope you don’t change your mind. Are you serious?”, asked Mfundo.
“Yeah, I’m not kidding you”, King Pin laughed.
I took a quick glance at Bandile, he was not in a good mood.

Mfundo and King Pin have a lot in common. It’s like they knew each other before.

After supper, Mfundo went home. Bandile went to sleep in his shack, I was left with King Pin,
again.

*sigh*

Part 29: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

“We have a house to ourselves, once again”, King Pin looked me in the eyes. “Don’t even think
about it”, I said.
“We locked the door, what else can go wrong?”, he asked.
“No, King Pin”, I said.
“No what? Hey, look, we don’t have to have sex or anything – ”
“No, King Pin. Please, please, I don’t want to keep doing this”
“What?”
“You and me, we should – ”
“Should go to the bedroom?”
“No, it’s time we – ”
“It’s time we get our freaky on?”
“Be serious for once in your life!”
“I was just trying to make you smile”
“By acting like a fool?”
“Come on now”
“It’s over”
“What’s that?”
“I said it’s over, we never officially broke up”
“Are you breaking up with me?”
“We’re cousins”
“If that’s what you want”
“We’re cousins, King Pin. You have to get used to that”
“I can’t get used to that”
“You have to, I’m learning but I can’t get used to it if you keep doing what you’re doing”
“If I came in with a girl, would you be jealous?”
“Why are you asking that?”
“I’m just asking”
“No, I wouldn’t”
“Tell the truth”
“I am”
“Bandile is not here”
“Okay, yes! Are you happy now?”
“Why are you fighting your feelings?”
“Because – ”
“I know, I’m your cousin, blah, blah, blah”
“I don’t want to disappoint my family”
“You won’t – they don’t have to know”
“That’s a dangerous game”
“And you’re good at it, remember with the Antonio situation?”
“How can I forget? But it’s different”
“How different?”
“I cheated and this is not cheating, it’s incest”
“You’re starting to sound like an old lady, you’re no longer interesting anymore”
“What? No, I am”
“You used to have that ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude”
“I still do”
“No you don’t”
“Maybe I grew up”
“Give me that excitement again, one of the reasons I fell for you was because you were
exciting”
“I am”
“No, you’re boring”
“I’m pregnant, remember?”
“I know, but, funny enough I don’t see you as a cousin. Nothing really changed for me, I don’t
know about you. Oh, well, who am I kidding? A lot has changed for you”
“Not much”
“Do you still love me?”
“I told you a million times, yes I do”
“Oh”
“Oh? Remember how you used to be non-believer of love?”
“Kiss me”
“Arg”
“Give me a goodnight kiss”
“On the cheek?”
“No, lips”
I gave him an ‘innocent’ kiss on the lips. He pulled me back and he went for a passionate kiss.
We heard the locker, we stopped kissing.
“Open, it’s me”, said Bandile.
We looked at each other.
“If your brother is here to cause problems, I swear I’ll get physical with him”, said King Pin.
“No, chill, please”, I opened the door.
Bandile was holding his blanket.
“Are you sleeping here tonight?”, I asked.
“Yes, until mom and dad gets back”, he said.
He was there to monitor me and King Pin. He’s such a bore.

That evening, Bandile slept in the couch and I slept in mom and dad’s room, King Pin slept in
my room.
Boo!
**********
I had a dream that evening.

I walked into an empty room. I looked around, there were only mirrors and my reflection. I heard
footsteps, I didn’t see anyone. Finally, I saw a guy approaching me.
“Who are you?”, I asked.
“I’m Raymond, who are you?”, he asked.
“I’m Nosipho”, I said.
The guy was in front of me and I saw it was Raymond, Linda’s Raymond.
“What are you doing here?”, I asked.
“I just arrived, you’re looking amazing”, he said.
“Thank you, you just arrived?”
“Lady, I said I just arrived”
“Lady? You liked calling me Nosi, not lady”
“Sorry, I don’t mean to be rude but, do we know each other by any chance?”
“Yes, we do”
“I don’t remember you, who are you again?”
“I’m Nosipho, stop acting”
“I’m not, I don’t know you”
“Whatever”
“Do you mind joining us?”
“Us?”
“Me and my friends”
“Yes, this is weird”
“This is a beautiful place, I love the mirrors”
“Can we go meet your friends already?”
“Okay, I guess you’re not a patient lady”
Raymond led me to another room, there was Antonio, Linda, Mbali, Foxy, Rashidi and King Pin.
“What are you guys doing here?”, I asked.
“We’re taking a break from our busy schedules”, replied Foxy.
“Mbali? What are you doing here?”, I asked.
“You know me?”, she was surprised.
“You’re my good friend, remember?”, I went towards her. She stepped back.
“I guess you’ve met Mbali. This is Mbali’s husband, Antonio. This is Foxy and her husband, King
Pin and this is Rashidi and his wife, Linda”, Raymond introduced me to people I know.

This was a joke.

“Mbali and Antonio? Foxy and King Pin? Linda and Rashidi?”, I was surprised.
“Why do you sound surprised?”, asked Raymond.
“Because all these people hate each other”, I said.
“Hate? No, lady, they don’t. They love each other”, said Raymond.
They laughed.
“Where is your partner?”, I asked.
“You mean, wife? She’s on her way. She takes her time to get ready”, said Raymond.
“This is unreal”, I sighed.
“Take a seat, lady”, Raymond pulled out a chair for me to sit.

Nosipho came in, she was looking good. I saw myself, weird.
“This is my beautiful wife, Nosipho”, said Raymond.
“This is me”, I said.
“This is my wife, Nosipho. Uh, Nosipho, this is Nosipho, I just met her”, said Raymond.
I shook Nosipho’s hand. I looked into her eyes.
“Can’t you people see? This is me”, I said.
“You just have the same name as my wife’s name, that’s all”, said Raymond.
“Nice to meet you Nosipho”, said Nosipho with a beautiful smile.
“Am I seriously talking to myself?”, I asked.
“Where are you from?”, asked Nosipho. “I’m from where you from”, I said.
“How did you get that cut on your face?”, she asked.
“I don’t have a cut on my face”, I said.
“Ouch, it looks painful”, she said.
I touched my face and I came across a huge scar on my face. I ran to the mirror, I had many
scars, they started multiplying, I screamed.
Aaaaaaaah!!!
**********
I woke up.

Lwazi ran to the bedroom.

“What’s wrong Nosipho?”, he asked.
“Nothing, it was all a dream”, I said.
“You screamed, I thought you were in labour pains”, he said.
“I’m fine, please bring me a glass of water”
“About that, Bandile said you must fetch water when you wake up”
“What?”
“He’s under the tree, you can ask him”
“Can’t he do it?”
“Maybe since mom and dad – ”
“He’s not mom nor is he dad”
“It’s your duty”
“Huh? Lwazi!”
“You know that too”
“I will”
“Please do, we don’t want problems”
“What happened to you?”
“I don’t want to listen to you and Bandile arguing”
“What did Bandile do now?”, Bandile asked, he interrupted Lwazi. “Lwazi, go and cut the grass
and stop gossiping like a girl”, he said.
“But bro, I was just telling Nosipho what you told me”, said Lwazi.
“The grass won’t cut itself, go, go, go”, Bandile commanded.
Lwazi left.
“I’m guessing he told you? What are you waiting for?”, asked Bandile.
“I will, I’ll first eat”, I said.
“Eat? Okay, eat – I don’t want to starve that”, he pointed at my stomach.
“That? This is a baby, a human being”, I said.
“Whatever, I don’t care”, he said.

“What’s your problem, man?”, asked King Pin. He entered the room and he sat on my bed, I got
out of bed.
“What’s my problem? What do you want me to say?”, asked Bandile.
“I’ve seen you torturing her over and over again”, said King Pin.
“Playing the defensive boyfriend?”, asked Bandile.
“Back off man”, said King Pin.
“Okay, I’ll go fetch water, everybody back to whatever you were doing”, I separated them, they
were ready to get physical.

They went their separate ways, I went to fetch water.

That day was really boring, mostly because Bandile was home. He was sitting next to me, he
and King Pin shared nasty stares. It was ridiculous, I wish mom and dad were home.

@ 4PM
I was sitting under a tree, I saw Mfundo, he smiled at me – I smiled at him too, I had no choice
really.
“Hey”, he sat down.
“Hey”, I said.
“You good?”, he asked.
“Yeah”
“You don’t look fine”
“Am I that ugly?”
“No, not like that”
“I’m just joking”
“You’re beautiful, you’re not ugly”
“I was just joking, chill”
“You really are beautiful”
“I know”
“Thanks for inviting me to dine with you guys, it meant a lot”
“Invite you?”
“Bandile said you invited me”
“Oh, yes, sorry”
“It’s okay”
“You had a great time?”
“Yes, the food was perfect and the conversation was cool. I like your cousin”
“We share something in common”
“Huh?”
“I was adding to what you said, you said you like King P – Thando”
“Yeah, yeah, he’s a cool cat”
“Yes”
“He’s a well established man”
“Yes, he is”
“I was thinking of something, it might be stupid but I think it’s good for me”
“What’s that?”
“I want to work in his club”
“Huh?”
“I know it might sound stupid, ‘what the hell is he thinking’ but I would love to work in a club”
“You’re tempted by the strippers?”
“No, no, not at all”
“What about your job”
“It sucks”
“And studying accounting?”
“I will continue with my studies”
“What if you end up falling in love with working there?”
“It’s a temporary thing, I won’t fall in love with working there. I know myself”
“If you say so, no one can stop you”
“This might sound out of line but, have you ever thought of, you know”
“Of what”
“Me and you”
“What are you trying to say?”
“I don’t know what I was thinking, sorry”
“Talk to me”
“Uhm, anyway would you like to go to town with me?”
“Mfundo”
“There’s no ceremony happening today”
“It’s a bit late”
“No, it’s not”
“I don’t know hey”
“Please”
“Uh – ”
“Please”
“Okay”
“Thank you, can we leave now?”
“Let me go tell my brother”

I told Bandile that I was going to town with Mfundo, he was like, “Go ahead, enjoy yourself”, he
was obviously trying to make King Pin jealous.
I drove to town.
**********
We got to town, I parked my car and he took me to a clothing store.
“What are we doing here?”, I asked.
“To buy clothes”, he replied.
“You didn’t tell me you were going to buy clothes”, I said.
“It was meant to be a surprise”, he said.
“Wait, surprise?”
“We’re not going to buy clothes for me, it’s all for you – this a surprise”
“Wow”
“Look for clothes you would like to buy”
“This is, eish, Mfundo no”
“Please”
“I have many clothes”
“I also have many clothes but I wouldn’t say no if someone wanted to spoil me”
“Thank you but…why are you doing this for me?”
“You deserve it”
“Mfundo?”
“Let’s try it again”
“What?”
“You know what”
“Mfundo, please”
“I want to be in a relationship with you, again. I miss you”
“To tell you the truth, I even forgot about you”
“You never forget your first time”
“I know – ”
“Do you at least have feelings for me?”
“Mfundo, please”
“Not even 0.1% feelings for me?”
“You’re a good guy, I would love to be your friend”
“Just friend?”
“Yes, that’s the only relationship I want to have with you”
“Ouch”
“You’re a great guy”
“Don’t even try and soften the blow”
“I’m sorry”
“We can leave”
“Are you sure, we can go around town and window shop like we used to do”
“I’ll take the taxi”
“You can ride in my car”
“It’s okay”
“I’m really sorry Mfundo, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings”
“Bye”
“Are you going to leave me hanging?”
“Let me walk you to your car”
“At least give me a hug”
“Nah, it’s fine”
“Hug”
“Handshake?”
“Are you kidding me? Come on, don’t be like that”
“I mean it”
“Okay, handshake. This is weird Mfundo”
“Drive safely”
“Thank you, same to you”
“Bye”
“Bye”

I didn’t want to lie to Mfundo, I didn’t have feelings for him. I forgot he even existed.
I drove home.
**********
When I got home, King Pin wasn’t there.
“Where’s Thando?”, I asked Bandile.
“At Kwa Bra Xola’s Place”, he replied.
“What? Those crazy drunkards will stab him and steal his chains and wrist watch”, I said.
“I thought he was iron man”, he said.
“That’s not funny”, I said.
He laughed, “You still love him?”, he asked.
“No, he’s my cousin”, I said.
“I’m watching you and this guy, I have eyes and ears everywhere. Remember that”
“I’m not sneaky”
“You are”
“We’re just cousins”
“Are you sure you’re not dating secretly?”
“No, we’re not. We just love each other like cousins”
“You don’t have a choice when it comes to guys”
“You don’t have a choice when it comes to girls”
“I do”
“Your girls, they’re crazy”
“How?”
“They’re just plain crazy”
“Like you?”
“I’m not crazy”
“Mfundo looks like a good choice for you”
“Mfundo is a good guy but he’s boring. He was naughty back then but now he’s boring”
“You want a guy who will break your heart?”
“No, I want a guy who’s confident in himself”
“You mean, an arrogant ass?”
“No. You won’t understand”
“Why?”
“Why are you even talking to me?”
“Because I can”
“What’s up? You don’t talk to me like this”
“Like what?”
“You always want to beat me up or you tell me to shut up”
“You’re annoying”
“You’re worse”
“I know”
“Am I dreaming?”
“I can leave if you want me to go”
“No, don’t. I really missed having a big brother”
Bandile looked down.
“I never hated you”, I said.
“I wish you can see yourself in my eyes”, he said.
“Am I that bad?”, I asked.
“You wouldn’t understand”, he said.
“Is it good or bad?”
“Mixture”
“I wish you can also see yourself in my eyes”
“It’s probably bad”
“A mixture”
I smiled at him, he was shy to smile back but I could see he wanted to smile.

King Pin entered the house, he entered with Lwazi.

“He was drunk, I found him at Bra Xola’s Place, he was making a scene”, said Lwazi.
“King Pin, you’re drunk!”, I shouted.
“Shut the fuck up”, he laughed.
“Thanks Lwazi”, I said.
Lwazi went out of the house.
“King Pin, look at you, you’re so drunk”, I took off his shoes.
“You looked smashed”, said Bandile.
“Shut the fuck up, bitch ass nigga”, King Pin started swearing Bandile.
This was going to be a long evening.

Part 30: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

“Stop swearing me, man”, said Bandile. “Or what? You’re going to tell your parents that King Pin
has a strip club?”, asked a drunk King Pin.
Bandile looked at me. I couldn’t believe King Pin just let the cat out of the bag.
“I’m a real ass nigga, I say my mind. Ask my baby, she’s been there for me. She knows me too
well, right my baby? Bandile, you can blackmail her all you want, I don’t care. I still love her”,
said King Pin.
“You guys are cousins, that’s disgusting”, said Bandile.
“We’re just cousins, I love him like a cousin”, I said.
“But you fucked me like a girlfriend”, King Pin laughed.
“You promised me Nosipho”, said Bandile.
“He’s just drunk, he’s just saying things”, I said.
“Saying things? We had sex this week, and man, I enjoyed that shit”, said King Pin.
Bandile looked at me and he walked out of the house.
“Look what you’ve done!”, I shouted.
“What I’ve done? Now it’s all my fault?”, asked King Pin.
“Why did you say all those things? Can’t you keep secrets? I thought you said you had my back”
“I do but you were fake, I hate shady bitches”
“You’re making things worse”
“I’m helping you”
“How?”
“You don’t have your own voice”
“You’re ruining things for me”
“Fuck you!”
“Fuck you too!”
“Go to hell, bitch”
“Say that when you’re sober”
“I will, fuck you bitch!”
 “I don’t even want to argue with you, you’re drunk and I love my baby so much. I don’t want to
lose this baby”
“Go to hell!”

I went out of the house, I went to Bandile’s shack. I knocked, he took a while before opening the
door.
“I don’t want to hear your apology”, he said.
“Please Bandile, hear me out”, I said.
“You promised me”, he said.
“I know and I’m sorry”
“I told you if you don’t stay away from him, I’ll tell mom and dad the truth. You chose it – you
chose it”
“Please Bandile, please”
“Get out”
“Bandile, please”
“Get out”
“I hope you find a good place in your heart and do the right thing”
I left.

Lwazi came back, the mood in the house was different. He could sense it, he looked at me and
he signaled something, I think he wanted to ask what happened, I just shrugged my shoulders.
My parents are coming home tomorrow, I’m scared because Bandile is going to tell them the
truth.
*sigh*
**********
It was in the morning, I woke up quite later than usual. I asked Lwazi where Bandile was, I was
hoping to pursued him but he was at work. Lwazi went to his friend’s house, King Pin was in the
sitting room, he just bought clothes.
“Good morning”, he said.
“Hey”, I mumbled.
“I didn’t know I was going to stay for days, I’m tired of wearing the same outfit everyday. I went
to buy some new clothes, cool right?”, he admired his new clothes.
“Do you remember what you did yesterday?”, I asked.
“I did I do?”, he asked.
“You disrespected me and Bandile”
“Oh”
“I think Bandile is going to tell mom and dad the truth”
“Why?”
“Because you told the truth about us, you said we had sex this week”
“Oh shit, did I really say that?”
“Yes, you were swearing at me – ”
“I swore at you? I’m really sorry”
“Sorry won’t change what you did”
“I know but please understand that I was drunk”
“That’s not a good excuse”
“What do you want me to say then?”
“The old King Pin came out”
“I’m trying, I’m really trying – ”
“You’re not trying hard enough”
“This is like a cage for me”
“You’re always making up excuses”
“This isn’t my territory – ”
“Arg!”
“I’m a city guy, I’m not a rural guy”
“And then?”
“My way of thinking is different than that of a rural guy”
“Go on”
“And…and, I like having a good time”
“This is all a joke to you”
“I made a stupid mistake”
“Is this child a stupid mistake too?”
“No, come on, where does the kid come in now? This kid was unexpected but not a mistake,
okay?”
“We’re having a baby in a few months, you need to step up”
“Excuse you, I don’t need no stepping up to do. I’m going to provide for her and I’m going to be
the best father”
“Whatever”
“I don’t care what your parents say, I am going to be part of this baby’s life”
“Whatever, I don’t want to argue”

My mom was the first to arrive. My dad followed afterwards, my dad came back with a chicken –
it was still alive. My dad couldn’t stop telling us about the ceremony he attended.
Hours passed by, it was getting late. King Pin bought KFC for everyone. Bandile arrived, my
heart stopped.
Dad told Bandile what happened in the ceremony. Meanwhile I was sitting on the couch, my
heart was pounding. We watched Generations, I couldn’t watch properly – I was stressed. I kept
glancing at Bandile, he was watching tv. Two hours later, my parents were sleeping, Bandile
went to sleep in his shack. I went to knock on his door, he opened.
“Thanks for not telling mom and dad”, I said.
“You should stop”, he said.
“I will”, I said.
“It’s not healthy for the family”
“Thank you very much”
“It’s cool”
“Our relationship is improving”
“Uhm…I’m tired”
“Oh, I’ll leave you”
“Let me walk you out”
“Thanks”
“Alright”
“The sky looks beautiful at night”
“Yep”
“Goodnight Bandile”
“Yeah, bye”
“Bye”
It was awkward but I’m glad he’s not treating me like he used to. I’m also glad that he didn’t tell
mom and dad, I thought he was going to tell them.
Thanks God.
I went inside the house.
**********
I went straight to my room, Lwazi was laying on his back.
“You look happy”, he said.
“I am”, I said.
“Who’s responsible?”, he asked.
“Myself”, I laughed.
“I wish I made myself that happy”
“Who else would be responsible?”
“I don’t know, maybe Mfundo?”
“Arg, Mfundo is just a friend”
“Shame, why are you friendzoning the guy? He’s a cool guy”
“He’s super cool but – ”
“But what?”
“But we’re so different. He’s too serious”
“That’s a crazy reason, girls like giving crazy reasons. Opposites attract”
“He used to be way better when we were kids, now he’s too serious”
“Don’t you want a serious guy?”
“I want a guy who’s not that serious”
“You don’t know what you want”
“I do”
“I’m going to sleep, goodnight”
“Arg, Lwazi”

I went to sleep.
I had a dream.
I was in a strip club, I saw Bandile – he was a male stripper. He watched him from a distance,
he was giving some girl a lap dance. I watched as he grind against her, Bandile took her away
from everyone, I followed them. They went to a room, I peeked through the key hole of the door.
I saw them kissing, the door just fell BAM! Maybe I was leaning too much and it couldn’t support
my weight. Bandile was surprised to see me, the girl turned and she was me, Nosipho.
“Please don’t tell mom and dad”, said Bandile.

I woke up. That dream was stupid, I couldn’t understand it.

In the morning, I had to fetch water, again! King Pin volunteered to help me, he brought an extra
bucket. We went to the dam.
“Guys in this village don’t fetch water, they believe it’s the girl’s duty”, I said.
“I wish there were more forward thinking men in this place”, said King Pin.
‘Me too, you know, you were right when you said a city man’s way of thinking is different than
that of a rural man”
“I’m always right Nosipho”
“Oh please”
“You’re always on my mind”
“We’re here to fetch water King Pin”
“I’m serious, you’re always on my mind”
“We should stop playing this dangerous game”
“I thought you liked it”
“Getting caught won’t be nice”
“Stop thinking like an amateur”
“Thandolwethu Dlomo, we should stop what we’re doing, we’re cousins”
“I hate this ‘cousins’ excuse”
“It’s the truth, you have to live with it”
“I don’t know but I’ll try”
“You always say that and the next thing you’re on top of me”
“And you like it too. You have a choice too, either you do it or you don’t do it. I know I’m
irresistible and you always fall for my charm”
“Whatever”
“I want to kiss you right now”
“That’s not a good idea”
“No one is watching us”
“No”
“Come on”
“Someone might be watching”
“Fuck whoever is watching”
King Pin leaned over for a kiss, I gave him a kiss. As always, he went for a passionate kiss. It
felt right in the beginning but my senses came back, I pulled away.
“This is wrong”, I said.
He was right in front of me, a small gap separated us, he hugged me and he grabbed my ass in
the process. I quickly pulled away, I was shock, I saw Bandile watching us. He had his fighting
sticks in hand, he turned around and left.
I was in trouble, I quickly placed the bucket full of water on my head and I rushed home. King
Pin walked behind me.
I’m in deep shit.
**********
When I got home, I quickly poured the water to a tank and I went to check Bandile in his shack. I
saw him stick fighting alone, he was practicing. When he saw me, he went to his shack.
“I fucked up big time”, I said.
“When are you ending this romantic relationship with your cousin?”, he asked.
“I already ended it but all the temptation is taking a toll on me”, I said.
“That’s a stupid excuse”, he said.
“I know”, I said.
“How do you think your mom and dad will feel when I tell them I caught their daughter kissing
her cousin? How do you think they’ll feel if I tell them you had sex with him in their house?”, he
asked.
“They won’t be pleased”, I said.
“Do you want to be a black sheep of the family all your life?”
“No, uhm…please Bandile. I know I messed up – ”
“I didn’t tell your parents the first time, what makes you think I won’t this time around? You
promised to stay away from him”
“I know and – ”
 “Shut up, just shut up. Mfundo wasn’t good for you, you think he’s good for you? He’s a bad
guy”
“You don’t know King P – Thando”
“After all he’s done to you?”
“Everyone makes mistakes”
“Repeatedly? Don’t you think that’s stupidity?”
“I’m sorry, okay?”
“You don’t know a good man even if he’s right in front of you”
“Are you talking about Mfundo? He’s not my type”
“You have a type?”
“Yes, who doesn’t?”

Bandile took a few steps forward, he held me waist and he looked deep into my eyes.
“What are you doing?”, I asked.
“What I should have done a long time ago”, he replied.
He smelled my neck, he then kissed my neck.
“What are you doing? You’re my brother”, I was surprised.
I wanted to say something but he kissed me, I quickly pulled back.
“Bandile?”, I was confused.
“All these years, I’ve watched you go out with different guys that didn’t deserve you. I didn’t tell
you how I really feel about you, I like you so much. I never really hated you, I was frustrated that
you never noticed me”, he said.
“But you’re my brother”, I said.
“I’m not your brother, my dad died a long time ago”, he said.
“What?”, I was shocked.
“My dad was a garden boy, he worked for a white man. He met your dad, they became
inseparable buddies, when he got really sick, he told your dad to take care of me like I was his
son. At that time your mom and dad didn’t have a child. Years later, you were born. And Lwazi
followed but I just like you”, he said.
“No”, I couldn’t believe it.
“I’m not even related to you and that guy is your cousin”, he said.
“Bandile, I don’t have that connection with you. I’m sorry”, I said.
Bandile pushed me to his bed. He began to kiss me, I laid there.
“I like you Nosipho Ndamase”, he whispered.
He was shirtless and at that moment, he was really sexy. I stood up, I looked at him – this
might be weird but when I thought of his past behaviour, it was just sexy.
“I know you too well”, he whispered.
“I don’t know what to say”, I closed my eyes.

I felt light, all the tension just fled away. He kissed me and I…kissed him too. He was ripping my
clothes, his strong hands grabbed my waist.
“No”, I said.
He kissed me.
“I said no, what’s wrong with you guys?”, I said.
“Just close your eyes”, he said.
“No!”, I screamed.
He placed his hand on my mouth. He locked his door.
“Nosipho Ndamase”, he whispered.
He took off his belt…then his pants.

“What are you doing?”, I asked.

“Don’t be like that”, he kissed me.
“Are you seriously going to have sex with me even though I don’t want?”, I asked.
“You’re just playing hard to get”, he said.
“No”, he was just too strong.
He opened my legs and he took off my panties, I begged him not to. He kissed me, the next
thing, he went to cry in a corner.

He took a large knife, I was terrified.

Please, don’t.
**********
Bandile had a large knife in hand, he was standing in the corner. I was scared, I didn’t know
what to do. He still had tears on his face, he didn’t wipe them properly. I was trying to make
sense of what happened, was he going to rape me? I didn’t want to think of that but still, it’s like
I was dreaming.
“Bandile, please, please, I am begging you, please drop the knife”, I said calmly although my
heart was pounding.
“Life is useless, I am useless”, he said in a pathetic manner.
“You’re not useless, Bandile”, I said.
“Do you think I’m proud of what I just did?”, he asked.
I shrugged my shoulders.
“I wasn’t going to hurt you, I didn’t mean to – it wasn’t my intention”, he said.
“It’s okay, just drop the knife”, I said.
“I had a tough childhood, you have no idea”, he said.
“What are you going to do with that knife?”, I asked.
“I was separated with my half sister, we were so tight. At least she still loves me up until this
day”, he said.
“You have a half sister? I didn’t know”
“You’re a kid, there’s much you don’t know”
“Where does your sister live?”
“Johannesburg”
“Okay”
“It was easy for me to go to sneak out of this place. I’m a taxi driver, I’ve been everywhere. I
visited her but it’s been months since I seen her”
“Why did you judge me if you too went to the city?”
“I don’t know, maybe I’m a bitter person”
He dropped the knife and he sat on his bed. His big strong hands touched my face, his hand
examined my face, he was like a blind person.
“I want to leave this place”, he said.
“Where are you going to stay?”, I asked.
“With my half sister”, he said.
“What’s your half sister’s name?”, I asked.
“Linda”, he answered.
“You’re not talking about the Linda that I know, are you?”
“Yeah”
“What?”
“I’m leaving, today”
“Huh?”
“Come on, you’re happy that I will be out of your way”
“I didn’t say so”
“Just remember that Thando is your cousin, whatever you do – ”
“Bandile, you should be the last person to tell me this”
“Excuse me?”
“You kissed me a minutes ago”
“I’m not your brother”
“But that doesn’t make any difference”
“I’m not even related to you”
“I grew up in front of your eyes, that’s…weird and disgusting”
“I’m disgusting? Is that what you’re saying? And what are you? Because you’re sleeping with
your cousin”
“That’s different”
“His father was your father’s brother. Soon you guys will share a surname – ”
“King Pin will never change his surname to Ndamase”
“And how do you know?”
“Because I do”
“Nosipho, wake up girl. Tell me, were you planning to marry your cousin?”
“No”
“He’s your cousin”
“Don’t judge me Bandile”
“How would you feel if your baby did the same thing you’re doing with her cousin?”
“She wouldn’t”
“How sure are you? Because if mommy is doing it – ”
“Shut up”
“Nosipho, stop whatever you’re doing”
“And then what?”
“Then find yourself another guy”
“Let me guess, you?”
“If you want but obviously you wouldn’t because you’re always falling for bad guys”
“And you’re a good guy?”
“I have my moments”
“I never saw you cry like you did”
“It’s shame”

King Pin was yelling my name, he went to knock on Bandile’s door. I opened the door, King Pin
stared at Bandile. I left his shack, Bandile took the large knife and he went to cut something, I
don’t really know what is was.
“And then? What’s up?”, asked King Pin.
“He’s leaving”, I said.
“Good riddance”, said King Pin.
“It’s not something to rejoice about because what he revealed to me in there really opened my
eyes”
“What’s up with you?”
“Did you know that Linda is Bandile’s half sister?”
“No ways”
“After the death of his father, my dad took care of Bandile”

King Pin couldn’t believe it. I heard fighting in the house, my mom and dad were screaming. I
quickly ran inside and I found Bandile arguing with my parents.
“I’m leaving this house!”, he yelled.
“I’m not stopping you, leave”, my dad encouraged.
“You finished my dad’s money long time ago”, said Bandile.
“Don’t be rude!”, my mom shouted.
“She knows, I told her everything! Everything! Thando this family is not innocent at all neither
are you and you, Nosipho. Tell them Thando, you own a strip club and you sell drugs. You, you,
you, this precious daughter of yours was a stripper, she slept with all the popular drug lords in
Jozi. That’s why she had lots of money, she had sex in exchange of luxurious items and money.
That car outside was bought by my sister’s boyfriend. She slept with my sister’s boyfriend. Your
mom is not innocent too, she had an affair with Radebe. Lwazi is not your son, tell them
Nobesuthu”, said Bandile.

The room was quiet, everyone was trying to take in everything that was just said. Lwazi entered
the house.
“You’re just in time, tell him. Tell him that this is not his real dad, tell him the truth”, said Bandile.
“What’s going on here?”, Lwazi was confused.
“Your real dad is Radebe”, said Bandile. “Get out of my house before I kill you”, my dad was
angry.
“No wonder your daughter has been seeing things, this family has dark secrets”, Bandile left the
house.
“Mom, is it true?”, asked Lwazi.
“My child”, my mom began to cry.
“Tell me the truth”, Lwazi demanded.
“Yes”, my mom was crying.
“Did dad know?”, asked Lwazi.
“Calm down boy, you would never understand”, my dad said.
“So you knew I wasn’t your child?”, Lwazi was angry.

I didn’t know that Lwazi wasn’t my dad’s child. It seems like my dad knew, I remember when my
dad was a miner, he didn’t come home for months. He saw us like, three times a year, he only
worked there for three years. I can remember my mom not being happy in her marriage, maybe
she turned to Radebe. I don’t blame her, there were rumours that my dad was cheating.
Lwazi left the house, he was angry. King Pin went to my car to chill. I followed him.

“No, Nosipho I don’t want to stick around. Your family is full of drama, I hate that shit”, he said.
“Today secrets were revealed”, I said.
“Bandile pulled a Nosipho on us”, King Pin laughed.
“It’s not funny, King Pin”
“I’m just saying, he pulled a Nosipho on us”
“He didn’t say anything about us sleeping together”
“Yeah, I’m glad”
“We should really stop”
“I think so too because this drama is too much”
“Don’t try to kiss me, don’t tell me you want to cuddle, don’t squeeze my butt, don’t flirt with me.
Our relationship is platonic starting from today”
“At least give me the opportunity to be a father”
“We talked about that, the family talked about that”
“I don’t want to be an absent father”
“You can see her but you can’t tell her that you’re her father”
“The kid must call me dad not uncle”
“You must understand”
“No, you must understand that I’m the father of this child”
“Oh really?”
“What does that suppose to mean?”
“When I first told you, you asked if the child was yours and that you wanted to do a DNA test
when the baby is born”
“No I didn’t”
“Yes you did”
“I don’t remember that”
“Were you high, again?”
“Don’t start me, okay? You’re not being funny”
“I know we were going to leave tomorrow but can’t we leave tonight? The drama here is just too
much”
“We can, yes. I can’t wait to get out of here”
“As soon as we get there, I need to go for check up. Hopefully this time, you will join me”
“I don’t want to promise you”
“You promised me that you’re going to accompany me this time around”
“What if I’m busy?”
“Why are you always busy?”
“I’m a businessman”
“That’s not an excuse”
 “Don’t you need baby clothes? Your clothes? Don’t you want to eat? Don’t you want fuel for
your car? Food? Trips to the mall? All that stuff, don’t you want them?”
“I do”
“That’s why I must take care of my business”
“Why can’t you sacrifice 2hrs of your time? I don’t think it’s even 2hrs, maybe an hour or so”
“I’ll try, can we go inside?”
“You can”
“I?”
“I’ll join you later”
“Okay, cool, see you inside – my beautiful cousin”
“Don’t push it”
“Smile Nosipho, if you frown you’ll get old soon”
King Pin got out of the car, he was laughing.

I can’t wait to go to Johannesburg, I’m sick and tired of this village.

Ndirhugqukile finish.

Part 31: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

King Pin bought a cordless telephone for my parents. I was happy that I will call them all the
way from Johannesburg. I packed my suitcase. My parents made peace with the fact that I
wanted to go back to the city, they had no choice. I am healed now, MaKhumalo really helped
me.
“We are leaving”, said King Pin.
“We haven’t really officially welcomed you, young man. We need to do a ceremony, just to
welcome you to the Ndamase family”, my dad said.
“Okay, I’ve been thinking about this and I don’t want to offend you or anything. I don’t want to
change my surname”, said King Pin.
“It’s your choice, young man. You are Wiseman’s only son and he would have liked it if you
changed your surname. I don’t want to force you, do you understand? You’re old enough to
make your own decisions”, my dad said.
“Am I the only child my dad had?”, asked King Pin.
“Eish, son, your dad had children everywhere he went. Wiseman was a ladies’ man, you are the
only son I knew he had. When we talked, he only mentioned you as the only son”
“How many children do you think he had?”
“I don’t know, maybe five or six”
“That’s a lot”
“I know”
“Mr Ndamase, thank you for welcoming me with open arms”
“You’re welcome my son. You’re like my own son now, Nosipho is your sister, take good care
of her”
“Nosipho’s well being has always been my priority, sir”
“She’s pregnant, make sure she takes things easy”
“I will, as stubborn as she might be, I will”
“Thank you son”
“Okay, bye. We will call as soon as we get home”
“Please do, drive safely”
King Pin hugged my parents and he went to the car. I kissed my mom and hugged my dad, I
didn’t get to see my younger brother, Lwazi. I guess he was still angry.
King Pin drove my car, I sat on the passenger seat besides him. My parents waved at us, we
waved back.

I knew it’s a long way to go.

“If you get tired, tell me. I’ll drive”, I said.
“I got this, don’t worry”, he said.

There was silence.

“Uhm…are you going back to your acting career?”, he asked.

“Why are you asking me that?”, I was confused.
“You have to rest, that’s all”, he said.
“No, I wasn’t planning. I’m pregnant”, I said.
“Good because your dad told me to look after you. The old man is worried, I always took care of
you”, he said.
“Much went down, hey. I was in a difficult situation and my spirit was disturbed but I’m fine now”
“I’m worried about the baby”
“You don’t need to worry about the baby”
“I have to, that’s my child”
“Here we go again”
“No, Nosipho, that’s my child and I have a say too”
“Can we just change the subject?”
“Why? Why do you always want to change the subject when we talk about the baby? Are you
sure that’s my baby?”
“How could you think of that?”
“I’m just asking”
“King Pin, stop the car at that garage”
“It’s too early for breaks”
“I need a break from you, I can’t believe you”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you”
“Just stop the car”
“Nosipho, I’m sorry”
“Stop the fucking car”
“I will, don’t need to be rude”
I was so angry, King Pin stopped the car and I went inside the garage shop. I bought some
sparkling water, the next thing, King Pin rushed to the shop.
“Nosipho, you have to see this. Come”, he dragged me.
I quickly paid for the sparkling water and I left.
“What’s up?”, I asked.
“Come on, quickly. You won’t believe it”, he said.
He opened the car boot and Lwazi was sleeping there, he was all curled up. We looked at
each.
“Must I wake him up?”, asked King Pin. “Let me wake him up”, I said.
I woke Lwazi up.
“What are you doing in my car boot?”, I asked.
“Have we arrived in Jozi?”, he asked.
“No, what are you doing in my car boot? Does mom and dad know about this? I don’t think so”, I
said.
“Please don’t call them”, he went out of the car boot.
“Your parents are going to freak out”, said King Pin.
“I want to take a break from them and the village”, he said.
“And school?”, I asked.
“It’s the holidays, I will return when the holidays are over”, he said.
“Why didn’t you tell mom and dad? They will go crazy looking for you”, I said.
“I was still angry at them”, he said.
“Get in the car, you’re going to call mom and dad and tell them yourself”, I said.
We all got into the car, I gave him my cellphone.
“Here”, I handed him.
“Do I have to call them now?”, he asked.
“Yes”, I said.
“I will call them when we get to Jozi”, he said.
“They will probably be dead because of a heart attack”, I said.
“Ugh, Nosipho. Do I have to?”, he asked.
“Lwazi give your parents are call right now so you don’t have to worry about calling them. You’re
not even talking to them face to face, man up brother”, King Pin encouraged.
Lwazi called mom and dad. He talked to them, I didn’t hear what mom said but I could tell just
by looking at his face that mom and dad were not happy. Lwazi gave me the phone, he said
mom and dad wanted to speak to me. They told me that they don’t want Lwazi to spend the
whole holidays in Johannesburg, they want him back by next week.

King Pin drove the car, it was so dark.

We stopped at a couple of garages to eat or use the toilet.
After hours of driving, we finally entered Johannesburg. The time was about 8am, I could see
Lwazi smiling.
“Welcome to Johannesburg, Lwazi”, I smiled.
“This place is beautiful”, he was smiling from ear to ear.

King Pin drove to his house. Finally, we were home.

**********
I showed Lwazi his room, he was so excited. King Pin slept, he was so tired. I also showed
Lwazi around, he couldn’t stop complimenting how beautiful the house was. I was also tired, I
went to sleep.

@ 1PM
King Pin went to buy something for us all to eat in the afternoon. I heard a knock on the door, it
was Foxy. Lwazi was watching tv, I didn’t want to make a scene. I went outside and I closed the
door on my way out.
“How may I help you?”, I asked.
“Is King Pin inside?”, she asked.
“No, he’s out”, I replied.
“Really?”, she thought I was lying.
“What do you want from him?”, I asked.
“He wanted to see me”, she said.
“Stop lying”
“I’m not lying, Nosipho”
“King Pin was in the Eastern Cape”
“I know, he sent me multiple text messages”
“Oh?”
“I’m not here to fight because I love my baby, I don’t want any miscarriage and stress. Your
cousin wanted to talk to me, here, you can see the messages he sent me”
I saw the messages, they were from King Pin.
“He’s not home”, I said.
“Tell him I was here, I don’t know what he wanted to tell me. Anyway, he knows my number and
where I live. Goodbye”, Foxy left.

I went inside the house, I can’t believe King Pin told Foxy that he was my cousin. I wasn’t aware
that he was chatting to Foxy. I waited for him to return.
King Pin came back with a KFC bucket.
“Kids I’m home”, he said.
Lwazi went to the kitchen.
“Go ahead, kill yourself”, he said to Lwazi.
“Hmm, I will”, Lwazi took his pieces of chicken.
“Where’s your sister?”, asked King Pin.
“In the lounge, she’s watching tv”, said Lwazi.
King Pin and Lwazi came to the lounge, Lwazi was eating KFC.
“Nosipho, you can kill yourself too. There’s plenty for everyone”, said King Pin.
“I need to speak to you, can we go to your room?”, I asked.
“Yeah, let’s go”, he said.
We went to his room, I closed the door carefully. He laid on his bed.
“I know my dick is good but I’m not in the mood right now”, he said.
“This is serious”, I said.
“You’re horny and you can’t control yourself?”, he joked.
“Stop with the silly jokes. Foxy came by”, I said.
He sat up. “Oh? What did she want?”, he asked.
“You the one that told her to come”, I said.
“What did you say to her? I hope you guys didn’t fight”, he said.
“You were sending her messages? I thought you said you were done with her”
“I never said that, Nosipho. It’s starting to become a habit for you to put words in my mouth, I
never said that. I said I can’t cut her off because she works for me”
“You said the only relationship you will have with her is business and not romantic”
“Yeah, I’m not romantically involved with her”
“She showed me the messages you sent her”
“Foxy would never do such a thing, don’t lie”
“She referred to you as my ‘cousin’, am I lying? Why did you tell her that?”
“Yo, is that what you wanted to tell me?”
“You sent her messages saying, ‘I miss you’, ‘I can’t wait to see you’ is that a business
relationship?”
“Why are you catching feelings? You’re just my cousin”
“I guess you’re right, I’m just your cousin”
“Don’t even play that card now, you were the one who said, ‘oh let’s end what we’re doing,
we’re cousins’ remember?”
 “Of course we’re cousins. I’m not angry because you’re talking to Foxy, what pisses me off is
that you’re telling her everything that doesn’t concern her”
“That’s was stupid, I’m sorry”
“You see? You’re always sorry. Sorry won’t fix anything”
“I know. Foxy understands me – ”
“And I don’t?”
“I’m not saying that, it’s just…things are different between us now. You’re my cousin, I’m trying
my best to process that on my beautiful head, okay? Foxy is also carrying my child – ”
“Stop whatever you’re saying because you’re not making sense”
“Foxy is also carrying my child and you know that I want to be the best father. You might not
see eye to eye with her but that won’t stop me from seeing her”
“I understand”
“We’re cousins”
“You don’t have to repeat that, I know”
“I do care for you Nosipho Ndamase, I love you and will always love you. Maybe we had the
strongest bond because we’re cousins. These things do happen”
“It’s cool”
“Just know that I’m always here for you”
“I’m always here for you too”
We hugged.
“Let’s go to the lounge”, he said.

We went to the lounge, I found closure. That’s all I wanted to hear, he’s my cousin and I must
live with that. Although there’s a part of me that is in love with him, I have to let him go.
You wake up one morning and you have the love of your life by your side. The next morning you
wake up and the love of your life is nothing more than your cousin. It’s devastating.
How would you feel if I was you?
**********
The next morning, King Pin woke up early and he went to work. He didn’t tell me, he told Lwazi
– that’s because I was still sleeping. I made Lwazi breakfast. He was new to the city, I had to
show him around. I was planning on taking him out today, he will be very excited. My
relationship with Lwazi hasn’t changed a bit, I love him very much like before. We might not
share the same father but I still love that kid.
I took a long bath and I tried to forget about everything that happened. I rubbed my belly, I
relaxed my head and I closed my eyes. I felt calm, I don’t remember the last time I was this
calm. My bath lasted for an hour or so.
I wore a very comfortable dress and sandals. I saw King Pin’s file, he forgot his business file. I
took the file and I drove to his club to give him his file. When I got to the club, I went straight to
his office, his door was slightly open. He was talking to Tim, I heard him talking about Linda, so I
stood outside and I listened to their conversation.
“There’s this thing she does bro, woah! She turns me on”, said King Pin.
“What’s going on between you and Linda?”, asked Tim.
“We’re just having fun, she’s a cool girl”, said King Pin.
“I can’t believe you were hooking up with this girl for two weeks and I’m only hearing about this
now”, said Tim.
“Linda is hot, she’s a hot yellow bone”, said King Pin.
“What about Foxy?”, asked Tim.
“What about Foxy? It’s not like we’re dating”, said King Pin.
“Nosipho is going to kill you, she doesn’t like Linda”, said Tim.
“She’s my cousin”
“If you were seeing this Linda chick for almost two weeks, it means you were seeing her while
you were still with Nosi. Before you found out you guys were cousins”
“Linda is more mature”
“You’re going to hell, bro. You boasted about Nosi’s body, you boasted about Foxy’s boobs and
now, you’re boasting about Linda’s maturity”
“And her soft light skin”
“Do you want another baby?”
“No, no, no – ”
“I know you’re allergic to condoms”
“Ha! Come on bro”
“What if she tells you, ‘I’m pregnant King Pin’ what are you going?”
“On to the next one…”
“What?! You’re insane – ”
“I’m joking! No! I’m just joking!”
“Are you seeing Linda today?”
“No, I don’t know. Maybe, I mean, I don’t really know – it depends if she’s not busy”
I couldn’t believe King Pin was boasting about being a player. He saw me, I quickly left and he
ran after me. I quickly went to the parking lot, he held my hand.
“Please stop, let me explain”, he said.
“Don’t touch me”, I was angry.
“At least let me explain”, he said.
“Okay, go ahead, explain”
“It’s not what you think”
“What do I think?”
“Whatever you think, you probably think I’m a skunk”
“You still haven’t explained”
“Go ahead, just judge me”
“I thought you were a changed man. So tell me, you were dating me and Linda at the same
time?”
“No”
“We were dating when you met her, I heard everything”
“We were not dating”
“Oh? Really?”
“Yes”
“King Pin, you’re a liar. I’m so stupid to even have thought you changed”
“Are jealous? What’s the deal now?”
“I’m not jealous, I’m disgusted. You don’t respect women!”
“Hey, watch it”
“You can’t have them all. Is it Foxy or Linda?”
“I’m not dating neither of these girls”
“You’re just having fun, right?”
“You sound like an old lady, just chill”
“This is all a game to you”
“You cheated on Antonio with me, you’re the last person to judge me”
“You’re so arrogant, can’t you listen for a second? Are you going to jump from bed to bed all
your life?”
 “We’re cousins, you live your life and I’ll live mine. Yeah, we live in the same house but don’t
interfere with what I. do, and I won’t. Simple”
“I shouldn’t have brought this file to you, I was just being generous”
“Thank you”
“Just know that you’re a dog”
“Okay, I’m a dog”
“You’re just like your father, he was nothing but a womaniser. He didn’t care about women’s
feelings, he made babies everywhere he went – ”
“Don’t talk about my father, you never met him”
“I’ve heard a lot about him”
“He’s dead, you can’t fucking talk about him”
“I can”
“You’re a fucking whore just like your mother!”
“Say that again, I dare you”
“You’re a fucking, fucking, fucking whore just like your fucking mother!”

I slapped him and I left, I was so angry.

**********
I came in crying.
“What’s wrong Nosipho?”, Lwazi was worried.
I didn’t answer him, I went straight to my bedroom. Lwazi opened the door.
“What’s wrong? Is it Thando?”, asked Lwazi.
“I swear I’m gonna punch him in the mouth and cut off his balls and penis”, I was angry.
“Woah, which guy did this to you? Is it Thando? Or?”, Lwazi was confused.
“You wouldn’t understand, Lwazi”
“Tell me, who did this to you?”
“Please give me a moment, just leave my room. Please”
“Nosipho?”
“I’m serious, please”
“What happened?”
“I need some time to myself, please?”
“Nosipho…”
“Lwazi!”
“Okay, if you need me just give me a shout, okay?”
“Yeah”
Lwazi went out of my room and I was just crying. I just fell apart at that moment, I wasn’t only
crying about what King Pin said but all the bad luck I’ve had in the past weeks. Maybe I had a
panic attack, I don’t know. I just couldn’t control my breathing, I was overwhelmed. I opened the
door, Lwazi came running.
“Take a deep breath”, he was panicking.
Lwazi took my phone and he called King Pin but he didn’t pick up his phone. He randomly
called Adelphe, yeah, I still had his number. Adelphe quickly arrived and he drove me to the
hospital.
When I arrived in the hospital, the doctor took me to his examination room. An oxygen mask
covered my nose and mouth. The doctor was the same doctor that did my check up. He was
racing around his room, I was laying in the chair. I could feel my breathing going back to normal,
I had to change my clothes, so I wore the long robe. The doctor did an ultrasound, he looked at
me.
“No heartbeat”, he said.
“What? It can’t be doc”, I didn’t know what to do.
“Can you hear anything?”, the doctor asked.
“No, so…so…so that means…”, I couldn’t finish the whole sentence.
“I’m really sorry for your loss. This wasn’t a miscarriage, it was a stillbirth”, he said.
“What’s a stillbirth, doc?”, I asked.
“A stillbirth is when a baby dies in the womb during the last 20 weeks of pregnancy. A
miscarriage is a fetal loss in the first half of pregnancy”, he said.
I kept quiet.
“Factors that cause stillbirth are, birth defects, abnormal chromosomes, infection in the mother
or fetus
Injuries, chronic health conditions in the mother – such as diabetes, epilepsy, or high blood
pressure. Problems with the placenta that prevent the fetus from getting nourishment, such as
placental detachment. Sudden severe blood loss – hemorrhage in the mother or fetus, heart
stoppage in the mother or fetus, umbilical cord problems and stress”
“What’s going to happen now doc? I can’t even think right now, I’m in disbelief”
“There are options regarding stillbirth delivery. You can have your labour induced, either
through labour and delivery or through a procedure performed under general anesthesia. You
can have the baby’s body removed in a procedure known as dilation and evacuation, D&E.
During D&E, you’re put under general anesthesia or given IV sedation and local anesthesia
while the doctor, me, dilates your cervix and remove the baby”
“I don’t want any procedure, I just want to deliver the baby”
“We have to induce your labour. You know, Miss Ndamase, induction is good is a better choice
if you want to experience birth as part of a grieving process, for example. You also have the
option of seeing and holding the baby, I know that will be hard but it will be good for you. After
the induction, an autopsy of the baby can be performed to provide more clues about the cause
of the stillbirth”
“How long am I going to be here for? How long does this induction take?”
“It depends on how your body responds to the induction”
“On average?”
“Uhm…it’s about 12 hours”
“What?”
“I know it’s a long time but we have to perform it, okay? You need to trust me and my co-
workers”
“Okay”
“I will give you a synthetic version of oxytocin, it’s called pitocin. It’s a hormone that causes the
uterus to contract. I will just give you 10 minutes or more to just relax and process everything,
okay?”
“Yeah”
“I believe you have friends waiting for you in the waiting room?”
“My friend and my brother”
“Alright, are you going to tell them the news”
“You can tell them, doc”
“Okay, I will. I’ll also tell them to come and see you before the induction begins”
“Thanks”
“You’re welcome, just relax Miss”

The doctor went out.

**********
Adelphe and Lwazi entered the examination room.
“We heard what happened, we’re so sorry. Are you fine? Of course you’re not fine but are how
are you?”, asked Adelphe.
“I’m alright, I guess. I’m waiting for the induction process”, I said.
Lwazi hugged me.
“I tried calling Thando but he isn’t picking up his phone”, said Lwazi.
“Hey, I really need to go. I have an important meeting, you’ll be fine?”, asked Adelphe.
“I’ll be fine, I have my loving brother by my side. Thank you very much Adelphe”, I thanked.

Adelphe left in a hurry. Lwazi kept calling King Pin, he managed to get ahold of him. It was time
for my induction, Lwazi went to the waiting room. The doctor came in and he began the
induction process.
After about 8 hours, I was ready for labour. The labour pains were really painful, it’s like I was
run over by a car. The doctor accompanied by the nurses helped me. After the whole breathing
in and out and pushing, the baby came out. One nurse took the baby away, she cleaned her. It
was going to be hard to look at my motionless baby but I had to.
The nurse gave me the baby, I looked at her, she was white. The baby was a white, my
daughter was white. She was in my arms, I examined every feature. I looked at my dead infant
for about 5 minutes and I called the doctor to take her.
Minutes later King Pin came rushing to where I was laying.
“I heard everything”, he hugged me. “I couldn’t believe it”, he said.
I could tell by looking at his shirt collar that he rushed to the hospital. He looked the other way
and he closed his zipper.
“I’m really heartbroken”, he said.
I didn’t say anything. All I could smell was Linda’s perfume, he was with Linda and he didn’t
answer my phone calls.
“The only time that I needed you the most, you weren’t there”, I said.
“I was busy”, he said.
“I know you were busy, you were busy with her”, I said.
“I’m a businessman”, he said.
“Whatever”, I said.
“Where’s the kid?”, he whispered.
“Why are you whispering? The doctor took the kid”, I said.
The doctor entered the room, King Pin stood up.
“Hey, are you one of Miss Ndamase’s friends?”, the doctor asked.
“Yeah”, replied King Pin.
“This girl is the strongest young ladies I’ve seen here”, the doctor said.
“Yeah. Doc, tell me, where is the kid?”, asked King Pin.
The doctor looked at me.
“He can see the baby”, I permitted.
“Are you sure?”, the doctor asked.
“Yes, yes. I am, yeah”, I turned my back and I closed my eyes.
“Alright, follow me…uh”, the doctor stuttered.
“Thando”, said King Pin.
“Oh yeah, follow me – Thando”, they went out.

When they left the room, I cried. My heart was really achy, I was broken hearted. Minutes later,
King Pin came back alone.
“Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? A white fucking baby? You made me drive all
the way just to see a…a white baby. That’s not my baby, am I white? That’s Antonio’s baby, you
bitch”, King Pin was furious.
I was crying.
“Stop with the crocodile tears, you mind fucking bitch. You knew all along that you were carrying
another man’s baby? You fooled me, you fucking fooled me. Look at me, don’t fucking act like
you’re heart and shit. Look at me”, King Pin turned my head.
“Ouch, you’re hurting me!”, I screamed.
“Trust me, the shit you did to me is more hurting than this shit. I was happy that I was going to
be a father”, he said.
“I didn’t know too. I didn’t know that the baby was Antonio’s”, I said.
“Stop lying, you know your body. You knew when your period stopped, you just acted like you
didn’t know. You knew you were pregnant all those months, you were just acting like you always
do. You’re a great actor, I must give that up to you, bitch. If I wasn’t your so-called cousin, I was
going to pay for the damages that I didn’t damage? What the fuck Nosipho? You judge me but
you’re not innocent. I guess you know why I said you’re just like your mother. You’re doing what
your mom did to your dad with Lwazi”, he said.
I was quiet.
“What are you going to say? Are you going to sit there and just act like you didn’t do something
wrong? No apology? Nothing?”, he asked.
“Apologise for what? I didn’t know”, I said.
“I’d be a fool to believe that”, he said.
“Whatever”
“My uncle always told me that girls always say, ‘whatever’ when they get caught. My uncle is a
very smart man. If you were not my cousin, I would’ve kicked you out of my house. I can’t do
that because I promised your dad that I will take care of you”, King Pin left.
I didn’t know that I was carrying Antonio’s baby, I was messing around with King Pin a lot when I
was dating Antonio. I wasn’t that sexually active when I was dating Antonio.
The time was 10pm, I was discharged from the hospital. I had a statement of my child’s death, I
had to bury her immediately. I drove away, Lwazi was sleeping. I drove to a restaurant, I can
imagine how hungry he was.
After eating, I drove to King Pin’s house. He wasn’t home, I didn’t really care.
It wasn’t a good pregnancy, I was stressing a lot and it didn’t feel like I was pregnant. I only
connected with the baby when I wanted to escape my problems. Learning about the death of my
premature infant, it did hurt a bit because I feel like I murdered the baby. I was way too stressed
for a pregnant girl. I heard stories of how some women would cry the whole day after learning
the news or maybe become suicidal, I wasn’t like that. I was just myself, I was fine. The fact that
I wasn’t too worried made me worried. Does that mean I’m a heartless person? Does that mean
I’m ignorant? Does that mean that I’m not a good mother? What does it mean? I guess, I
focused more on other things rather than bonding with my baby.
I went to the baby’s room. I looked around, I felt a hand on my shoulder and I jumped with fright.
“You’ll be okay”, said Lwazi.
“Thank you little brother for everything. If you were not here, the Lord only knows what would’ve
happened. I’m really grateful, you’re my hero”, I hugged him.
“I love you, sis”, he hugged me tight.
I went to the lounge, I was guilty. I think I will have nightmares of this day, for days to come,
perhaps, weeks, possibly months or years.
But for sure what I know is, I don’t know what I don’t know.

Part 32: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

The next morning, I wasn’t feeling good. Lwazi came in my room to hand me a cellphone.
“It’s mom”, he said.
I took a deep breath and I answered the phone.

“Good morning mom”, I said.

“I heard what happened dear”, she said.
“I choose not to talk about it”, I said in a low voice.
“You have to come home, you need time to heal”, she said.
“I’m alright, mom”, I said.
“You lost your child. Tell me, when are you going to bury your child?”, she asked.
“I’ll talk to Thando, but it will be soon”
“Nosipho, where are you going to bury the baby?”
“I’ll look for a graveyard here – ”
“No! No! No! You have to bury this baby here”
“But mom…”
“Listen to me, okay? Just listen for once, you need to come home. Thando told us everything,
when I say everything I mean EVERYTHING”
“But still…”
“Don’t make me come to the city and get you there, it wouldn’t be nice. Right now I’m angry, I
am. If you were here, I would have gave you a beating of your life!”
“I will come home”
“When?”
“When I finalise everything with the hospital, I will bury the baby there”
“Your dad is furious”
“I…I don’t know what to say, I’m sorry? It’s not even my fault that I lost the baby”
“There’s always a reason”
“I know”
My mom dropped the phone on me, she didn’t even say goodbye. I knew she was angry but
what did I do? I didn’t ask Mother Nature to terminate my pregnancy. I didn’t know I was
carrying Antonio’s baby, why does everyone think it’s my fault?

I cried, Lwazi came in my room.

“Oh no, you’re crying again? What’s wrong?”, he asked.
“I’m tired of this thing, I’m really tired”, I cried.
“It will all pass”, he comforted me.
“I know but still it’s really hard for me”
“Nosipho you’re a brave woman, if you can pass the scary ghost thing, you can pass this one
too. I know your baby died and it’s hard, I know but trust me, it will all pass”
“Thando is suppose to be here, comforting me”
“He didn’t come home, do you have any clue where he might be?”
“He’s with some girl named Linda, Bandile’s half sister”
“Promise me you won’t fall for him?”
“He’s my cousin, what are you talking about?”
“The way you look at him, Nosipho – ”
“Must I close my eyes?”
“No, it’s just that…you shouldn’t fall for him. Do you still have feelings for him?”
“Lwazi you’re young, you won’t understand”
“I’m not a boy”
“Going to the mountain doesn’t make you a real man either”
“Why are we having this conversation?”
“I still have feelings for him – ”
“He’s your cousin”
“I know, I do know!”
“Your blood cousin”
“Ugh!”
“He’s giving you a reason to hate him – ”
“I don’t hate him…I just don’t like what he does. He knows I have feelings for him but he goes
around fucking girls and boasting about it”
“He’s your cousin”
“I know, damn it! And I’m trying to get over him but it’s difficult”
“Move”
“I can’t afford to pay rent every month”
“Find a job”
“It’s not that easy. This is not the village where you go to a neighbour’s house and ask, ‘can I
do your laundry for R50’ or ‘can I cut your grass for R60’ and you instantly get a job”
“Okay, I give up Nosipho”
Lwazi left my room.

I was in the kitchen when King Pin entered the house.

“Why did you tell my mom and dad?”, I asked.
“They needed to know”, he said.
“I was going to tell them, thanks for making me look like a bad daughter”, I said.
“You’re not only a bad daughter, you’re also a good liar”, he said.
“I didn’t know I was carrying Antonio’s baby, I swear I didn’t”, I said.
“For your information, I told Antonio”, he said.
“You had no right to tell him”
“You said you wanted to live a life with no secrets, I’m making your life easier”
“You’re just being mean and bitter”
“I guess, that’s what cousins are for”
King Pin went to his room.

Lwazi was right, King Pin is giving me more reasons to hate him. His behavior makes me sick to
the core.
**********
That afternoon I wanted to take Lwazi out. I also needed some time out, just to cool off my
nerves. Lwazi was happy to finally be out of the house. I took him to the mall, if I had money I
would have bought him clothes but my budget was super tight.

After showing him around, we went to a restaurant. I saw Bandile, he came to us.
“Wow, Lwazi? What are you doing here?”, he asked.
“It’s none of your business”, Lwazi brushed him off.
“It’s good to see you bro. Hey Nosipho”, he smiled.
“Don’t act all friendly, what do you want?”, I asked.
“I’m just happy to see you and Lwazi, that’s all”, he said.

Linda called him and he left. Linda couldn’t look me in the eye.

“Let’s go somewhere”, I said.

“No, don’t mind them”, said Lwazi.
“I’m leaving”, I said.
“Don’t, please”, Lwazi stopped me.
I then received a phone call from the doctor, he told me I should come visit him tomorrow
because he has the results of the autopsy. I guess that was good to hear but that won’t change
anything. I ate lunch at that restaurant with Lwazi, I was appreciative of my younger brother. We
left and went home, as soon as we arrived, I received a phone call from Antonio – he wanted us
to meet at his restaurant. I drove to his restaurant.

When I got to his restaurant, he led me to his office.

“It’s been a long time since I saw you. How are you?”, he asked.
“I’m fine”, I said.
There was awkward silence.
“Uhm…is it true?”, he asked.
“Yes”, I replied.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”, he asked.
“I didn’t know”, I said.
“You didn’t know?”, he seemed unsure. “Yes”
“What’s going to happen now?”
“I’m going to bury the baby back home”
“Home? Alright, when?”
“As soon as possible, I have to meet the doctor tomorrow”
“Please tell me because I want to go to the funeral”
“Oh”
“I can help you financially”
“I…”
“Please, that’s my baby too”
“Okay”
“You’ll be fine, alright?”
“Yep”
“Please keep me updated, will you?”
“Yeah”
“Thanks, you may leave”
“Bye”
“Bye”

I left Antonio’s office, I saw King Pin walking hand in hand with Foxy, when he saw me he
quickly let go Foxy’s hand.
“You’re a dog, King Pin”, I said.
“Hey Nosipho”, he faked a smile.
“Don’t act dumb, you’re a dog”, I said.
“I’m sorry about your baby, Nosi”, said Foxy.
“You told her?”, I asked King Pin.
“Let’s go take a seat”, King Pin said to Foxy.
I stopped him.
“I’m not a fool, King Pin. I see what you’re trying to do”, I said.
“Calm down Nosi, I know things are rough for you. Losing a baby isn’t easy”, said Foxy.
“I’m talking to King Pin not you, Foxy. Can we talk privately?”, I walked outside.
King Pin followed me.
“Why are you doing this to me?”, I asked.
“What?”, he asked.
“Why are you telling everyone that I lost the baby?”, I furiously asked.
“I’m not telling everyone”, he said.
“This is all a game to you, right? I know it’s all a game to you. You won, are you happy?”
“This isn’t a game at all – ”
“You’re mind fucking everyone now – ”
“Not true”
“You’re with Foxy now and later you’re going to be with Linda – ”
“So this is what it’s all about? You’re jealous?”
“You think you can have every girl in the world?”
“I can, do you have a problem with that?”
“Does Foxy know that you’re fucking her friend, Linda?”
“I’m not dating neither of them”
“You’re just sleeping with them? What do you call it again? Uhm…oh yeah, ‘having fun’ – ”
“I’m not interested in you anymore. I don’t think we will ever have sex again or be in a
relationship. Get that in your head, this is over, over fucking over. You drive me insane, I don’t
want to be with you. Foxy and Linda are far better than you, they’re fun to be around and they
don’t attract drama. They respect me and they’re submissive”
“You don’t need to be rude”
“I’m being fucking real though”
“I just lost a baby, you’re suppose to comfort me not tell me how Foxy and Linda are far better
than me. That’s rude, ignorant and heartless”
“You’re always seeking attention, when someone doesn’t give you attention you explode. Just
chill, Nosipho”
“And you’re my cousin?”
“Just go and take a nap”
“And you’re my cousin?”
“Bye Nosipho”

I was so heartbroken, I drove away.

Weeks ago King Pin couldn’t get his hands off me and now he’s so rude and he doesn’t want
anything to do with me. What happened to him?

**********
I needed someone to talk to, I met up with Mbali, I haven’t seen her since I came back from the
village. Mbali was shocked when she heard my story.
“Nosipho, are you sure you’re fine?”, she asked.
“I will be fine”, I said.
“I’m really sorry for what happen, I can imagine the pain”, she said.
“It’s fine, I will get over it sooner or later”, I said.
“Your life is like a movie”
“I wish I can sleep and never wake up ever again”
“Don’t say that”
“Why are bad things happening to me?”
“There’s a reason, I think only God knows”
“I was cursed”
“Ugh, it will pass”
“It’s easy for people to say that. I don’t know what I did wrong, people don’t even like me that
much”
“Are you kidding? Guys wag their tongues when you walk pass”
“I’m always this bitch, I’m always wrong. People don’t even believe me, why do people hate me
so much?”
“I don’t hate you, I love you”
“I have people that I don’t really like but I dislike them for a reason. These people hate me for
no reason. King Pin hates me”
“King Pin cares about you – ”
“He said Foxy and Linda are far better than me”
“What? That’s a bit heartless”
“He doesn’t want to listen to me, he goes around telling everyone who cares to listen that I lost
my baby”
“That’s so wrong”
“He thinks I played him, like, I didn’t even know that I was pregnant with Antonio’s baby. I really
didn’t know because I wasn’t that sexually active with Antonio, he thinks I tricked him into
believing that was his baby”
“I think King Pin still loves you but he’s disappointed”
“In me?”
“Yes and also the fact that you guys are cousins”
“King Pin doesn’t love me, the only reason I’m still living there is because he promised my dad
to take care of me”
“He still loves you”
“You don’t know how he acts around me nowadays, he’s a totally different guy compared to the
one I fell in love with. He’s worse than before. He boasts about sleeping around with different
women”
“Really?”
“I listened on his conversation with his friend, he was telling him how good Linda was in bed.
He also has this thing going on with Foxy, he’s being a serial player”
“People told you that King Pin was a player but you didn’t believe them, I guess you do now”
 “I can’t wait for tomorrow, I just want to go to the hospital, hear what the doctor say and make
plans with Antonio. Then go home as soon as possible. After burying the baby, I want to move
to a different city and start a new life”
“That would be good, are you sure”
“Mbali, I’ve been thinking about this and I’m sure”
“Which city did you have in mind?”
“Between Pretoria and Durban, I don’t know”
“They’re both great cities, I won’t lie”
“I will have to decide”
“You have to”
“Thanks for agreeing to talk to me”
“You’re my friend, Nosi”
“I love you Mbali”
“I love you Nosipho”
We hugged.

I drove home, it was a bit dark. King Pin was watching a movie with Foxy, they were eating
popcorns. I didn’t want to be rude or start drama, I just went straight to my room and I slept.
Lwazi was sleeping, I think.
I had a dream…
**********
In my dream, I saw King Pin carrying a knife, he was walking slowly. Lwazi was drunk, he was
with two guys, I didn’t know them. King Pin was hiding behind a tree, the two guys were ahead
of Lwazi, King Pin was looking at Lwazi, by the look of things he wanted to stab him.
I woke up, I was breathing heavily. I walked out of my room and I went to go look for Lwazi in
his room, he wasn’t there.
“Where’s Lwazi?”, I asked King Pin.
“He went somewhere with his new friends”, he said.
“Friends? What friends?”, I asked.
“Chill, Lwazi is a man, he can take care of himself”, said King Pin.
Something told me to look for him. I walked out of the house. I heard King Pin asking, “Where
are you going?”
I drove away a few houses and I saw Lwazi drunk. I stopped the car, I saw someone who was
hiding behind a tree, he ran as fast as he could.
“Lwazi? You’re drunk!”, I yelled.
“Oops”, he laughed.
“Who are you guys?”, I asked the two guys.
“I’m Thabo, this is Thabang”, one of the guys introduced.
“Help me get him inside the car”, I said.
They helped me. The two boys looked a bit tipsy, they smelled alcohol. Thabang kept looking at
me, I didn’t know why. I saw him rubbing his eyes, he looked at me again.
“What’s wrong?”, I asked.
“Greetings sir”, he said.
“Excuse me?”, I asked.
“I’m greeting the man next to you”, he said.
I looked besides me, no one was there.
“You’re drunk, go home”, I said.
“There’s a white man standing next to you, he’s wearing a long robe and he has long hair”, he
said.
I giggled.
“Stop smoking whatever you’re smoking”, I said.
Thabo and Thabang looked at each other and they ran. I was confused, I got into my car and I
drove away.
When I got to King Pin’s yard, I called him to help me with Lwazi. He came outside and he
carried Lwazi inside the house.
“Look at him, King Pin. How could you allow this to happen?”, I asked.
“He needed to go out, being stuck in this house especially if you’re a guy, it’s boring. He’s
young, let him live his life”, he said.
“Thanks God I’m not carrying your child, I feel sorry for you Foxy”, I said.
King Pin’s face changed.
“I’m leaving now, see you tomorrow. I had a great time”, Foxy hugged King Pin and she left.

“You think it’s a joke?”, he asked.

I didn’t answer him.
“Do you think it’s a fucking joke? How could you even joke about that? In front of Foxy? Why did
you even say that to her? Do you know how much pain I’m feeling inside because you lost the
baby that I thought was mine? And you joke about it? You’re heartless”, he said.
“You’re heartless, you’re not even supporting me. I need you”
“You need me, Nosipho? You need me? Why are you pushing me away then?”
“I’m not pushing you away, I need you. How am I pushing you away?”
“You’re always doing what you’re doing right now”
“And that is?”
“Argue”
“I still have feelings for you”
“No”
“I love you”
“No”
“King Pin…Thando, I’m serious”
“Nosipho, no”
“Why? You wanted this few days ago”
“That was days ago”
“You said I was being too careful and that I need to stop worrying about what people say”
“You will never stop worrying about what people say”
“I love you, okay? I know you’re my cousin but I don’t care”
“You do care”
“I’m telling you that I don’t care. Thando, please. Give me, give us another chance”
“No”
“Why?”
“Just no”
“I miss you”
“No”
“Thando Dlomo, I miss you. You’re the love of my life”
“No”
“Please”
“You’re not the girl I fell in love with”
“I am”
“You have many skeletons in the closet”
“I’m bearing my soul right now, I love you”
“Nosipho, I can’t”
“Why?”
“Because there are some things you haven’t told me”
“Like what?”
“You, your mom, your family, you’re all hiding a secrets”
“Which family doesn’t have secrets?”
“Your family has loads of secrets”
“We don’t have any secrets anymore”
“Bullshit”
“Why does my family’s secrets have to do with us? It’s not like you’re an honest person”
“I’m better than you”
“You’re cheating on Foxy with Linda. Honest? Nah”
“How many times must I tell you, I’m not in a relationship with any of these girls”
“Do you love me?”
“I don’t want to answer that”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want”
“I know you still have feelings for me”
“I can’t be with you”
“What did I do?”
“You’re a liar”
“What? King Pin? Are you kidding me?”
“Do you have anything you want to tell me that you and your family have been hiding?”
“No”
“Really?”
“Yes, I can’t think of anything”
“Think harder”
“There’s nothing to think, no, there’s nothing. You were there when the secrets were unveiled”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes”
“Nosipho that’s why I don’t want to be with you”
“What did I do?”
“You were married when you were 15 years old and your husband went to Johannesburg with
your 1 year old baby boy and he never returned. This year the prince invited you to a ceremony,
you and the other girls went through a process where you had to be tested if you were a virgin.
Your parents knew the prince liked you and you had a good chance of being chosen by the
prince but the only problem was that you were not a virgin. Your parents tipped off the virginity
testers, you passed the test but sadly you came to Johannesburg. Did you come here to pursue
you acting career or look for your husband? Huh? Next time, don’t throw stones when you know
you live in glass”
“I never came to Johannesburg for him”
“But still you didn’t tell me all of this but you say you love me? No wonder bad things happen to
you, your family is cursed”
“Who told you this?”
“It’s for me to know and you to find out”

King Pin went to his room, he slammed the door. Lwazi was sleeping, I was full of rage. I went
to sleep angry.
I forgot the most important thing which is, “Never go to bed angry”.
**********
The next day, I woke up early and I took a quick bath, ate breakfast and I drove to the hospital.
I wasn’t feeling right, I was in a bad mood. When I got to the hospital, the doctor told me
autopsy results. He told me that the baby’s stillbirth was caused by excessive stress. I wouldn’t
say I didn’t see that one coming. I gave Antonio a call, he drove to the hospital. He went to see
his baby, I waited for him in the waiting room.

He came, I looked him in the eyes, he looked devastated.

“She looks beautiful. It was hard seeing her motionless, such an innocent baby. Why did she
have to die? May her soul rest in peace”, said Antonio.
“We have to plan the funeral today”, I said.
“Yes, we have to bury her soon”, he said.
“My parents want the baby to be buried back home”, I said.
“I can respect that, I mean, it’s fine”, he said.
“Will you be there?”, I asked.
“Uh, of course. That was my baby, I know I never knew about her but I have to”, he said.
“We should get going”, I said.
“Yes”, he said.
We left the hospital.

We went to a funeral parlour. We chose a tiny beautiful caskette for the deceased baby. We
talked to the director of the funeral parlour, we made arrangements regarding the burial that will
take place back home.
Me and Antonio went our separate ways, I gave Bandile a call, I wanted to talk to him about
something. We met at Raymond’s restaurant.
“Just know that I’m excited that you gave me a call, I thought you didn’t want to talk to me”, he
said.
“I just want to ask you something”, I said.
“What’s that?”, he asked.
“Did you tell Thando anything?”, I asked.
“No, I haven’t seen him in a while now”, he said.
“You live with Linda and he always goes there, that’s not possible”, I said.
“What would Thando want there?”
“He’s dating Linda but he doesn’t want to admit it, he says he’s just having fun”
“Having fun with my sister? He’s crazy, are you sure something’s happening between them?”
“Yeah, he’s sleeping with her”
“What? He’s having sex with my sister? He’s penetrating my sister? That guy is a walking
STD!”
“He’s not a walking STD, your sister is a whore”
“Whore? Look who’s talking”
“Why did you tell Thando that I’m married and I have a baby boy?”
“Why would I tell him that? That’s a secret I managed to keep for years, why would I tell
someone I don’t even like? I don’t have time to talk to him”
“You revealed family secrets back home, do you remember that? And I know you told him”
“What would I gain from that if I told him?”
“You want him to hate me more”
“Really?”
“Yes, you’re bitter that I turned you down. In your head, if you can’t have me then no one else
should”
“Wow, just wow. I don’t know what to even say, this is just crazy”
“You don’t know what to say because you’re caught red-handed”
“I don’t want to keep defending myself, I’ll look guilty”
“You’re guilty but you’re just playing it cool”
“Look, I never told anyone that secret, ever. If you don’t believe me, fine”
“If you didn’t tell Thando that, who did?”
“I don’t know, Lwazi? I don’t know”
“No ways, Lwazi would never stab me in the back like that”
“You really trust your Lwazi”
“He would never do that to me”
“I guess this conversation is over, I’m gone”
“I know you told Thando, I don’t buy this surprise look you have going on”
“Okay, believe whatever you want to believe. I was looking forward to speaking to you, if only I
knew you were going to talk about this crap, I wouldn’t have come”
Bandile left. I drove home.
King Pin was watching tv in the lounge, Lwazi was sleeping in his room.
“Can I explain myself?”, I asked.
“Sit down and explain”, he said.
“Look, it’s true that I was married”, I said.
“Was?”, he asked.
“King Pin, I mean, Thando – I didn’t ask for marriage, I was still a kid. I had a boyfriend, he was
three years older than me. He broke my virginity, we didn’t know what we were doing, we were
just curious village kids. Unfortunately I became pregnant and to avoid the shame, my parents
and this boy’s parents said we must get married. We did what our parents told us to do, it’s not
an official marriage like, signing documents, it was a traditional marriage. We didn’t love each
other, no we didn’t, we didn’t even know what love was. We were miserable, that marriage was
disastrous. He went to Johannesburg to look for a job, he took the kid and he promised to come
back with him but he never returned. I was happy that he didn’t return because I didn’t want to
be in a miserable marriage but yet again I’m worried, is he okay? Is the baby okay? I don’t
know”, I said.
King Pin hugged me.
“I didn’t know the whole story, I’m sorry”, he said.
“Who told you?”, I asked.
“It doesn’t really matter now, I don’t want any drama”, he said.
“I think it’s Bandile”, I said.
“Let’s not even talk about him, just relax and concentrate on getting better”, he said.
“I went with Antonio to a funeral parlour, we made arrangements for the funeral”, I said.
“That’s good, when are you going home?”, he asked.
“Tomorrow”, I replied.
“That’s quick but it’s good, right?”
“Yes”
“Nosipho”
“Yes?”
“I would love to apologise for being an ass and I – ”
“It’s okay”
“And I love you very much like a cousin. We have a great connection and I hope we don’t screw
our relationship again”
“I also love you and I won’t lie, I’m still working on this cousin thing”
“Me too”
“Let’s forget whatever happened in the past, let’s just live in the present”
“Nosipho, I think that’s actually a good idea”
“Yep”
“Alright and there won’t be any jealousy?”
“Yes”
“I’m happy with that”
We hugged and I was happy to be in good terms with King Pin again. He’s my cousin and my
friend.

I’m happy 🙂
Part 33: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

The next day, I packed my clothes, Lwazi wasn’t happy to be going home. King Pin promised
he’ll come for the funeral, I believed him. We left early, the time was 7:30am. I knew it was
going to be a long, long, long drive but I had to.

Lwazi was quiet, I was a bit worried.

“Are you hungry?”, I asked.
“Nah”, he replied.
“You’re not happy that we’re going back home?”, I asked.
“I’m not ready to face mom and you know, my ‘dad’. I’m not ready”, he said.
“You’ll be okay”, I said.
“I don’t know”, he said.

I drove for hours and hours, I stopped at a few garages to take a break.
We arrived in my village at 11pm, my mom was outside. When we got out of the car, my mom
came towards us. The first thing she did was hug me, she didn’t even say, “hi” or hug Lwazi. We
went inside, my dad was eating. He didn’t show much enthusiasm, he just nodded his head. We
sat down, mom offered something to eat but we were too full.
“Boy, why did you?”, my dad asked.
“I wanted some time away”, responded Lwazi.
“I’m not even talking about that, boy. Tshawe was here yesterday”, my dad said.
“That doesn’t concern me”, said Lwazi.
“Hey boy, you impregnated Tshawe’s daughter!”, dad yelled.
“I’m not even sure if the baby is mine”, Lwazi was being ignorant.
“Lwazi”, I sighed.
“Nobesuthu, talk to your child before I kill him with my own hands”, dad went to his bedroom.
“Lwazi my child, if you knew you were sexually active, why didn’t you use a condom?”, mom
asked.
“Why is everyone on my case? No one said anything when Nosipho was pregnant”, said Lwazi.
“Don’t even mention my name”, I said.
“Are you Nosipho? How are you going to provide for your baby? Where will we get money to
pay for the damages?”, asked mom.
“I will work”, responded Lwazi.
“And school?”, I asked.
“Leave me alone”, Lwazi stood up and he went out.
My dad came out of his room with a stick, he caught Lwazi off guard. He started beating him,
he was really angry. I’ve never seen my dad that angry, it was like he was beating someone his
age or something. My mom tried to intervene but my dad pushed her away. After a while my
dad stopped, he went to his room, he was shaking with anger. Lwazi walked out, he slammed
the door. I wanted to go after him but my mom said I must leave him alone.

@1am
My parents were sleeping, I was waiting for Lwazi. I heard a knock on the door, I asked who it
was just to make sure. It was Lwazi, I opened the door.
“Are you okay?”, I was worried.
“I was just beaten by your dad, yes I’m really fine”, he sarcastically said.
“He’s your dad too. He’s our dad”, I said.
“That man isn’t my dad, that beating wasn’t because I impregnated that girl. That beating was
pure bitterness and disappointment because I’m…I’m…a jacket”, he said.
“No, don’t say that”, I said.
“He’s been holding this jacket for years. It’s not even his, I blame my mom. I hate her”, he said.
“You’re just angry, I don’t blame you but you don’t hate mom or your dad”
“Who am I?”
“Lwazi Ndamase”
“No, I’m just Lwazi”
“You’re a Ndamase”
“No, that man isn’t my father”
“He loves you like his own son”
“Nosipho that man hates me”
“Where was your real father when you were in the mountain? When you were circumcised?
When it was your ceremony? Where was him? Because he wasn’t there”
“You were not there too”
“I know, I was in Johannesburg but that’s besides the point”
“I’m going to sleep right now, Nosipho”
“Lwazi?”
“Yes”
“Don’t make the same mistakes I did”
“I’m not you. We’re different people. Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to sleep. Goodnight
Nosipho”
“Goodnight”

Tomorrow is a new day.

**********
In the morning, my mom was having coffee outside. I went to join her.
“Can I tell you something?”, I asked.
“What’s that?”, she asked.
“I know it might sound crazy but I had another dream when I was in the city. It wasn’t a bad
dream, no it wasn’t. So…I went to sleep and I dreamt of Lwazi, he was drunk. There was
someone following him, this mystery person kept hiding behind trees and cars. Lwazi was
stumbling, the people he was walking with were ahead of him. I woke up and I went to check on
Lwazi. Guess what? He wasn’t in his room, something told me to go outside. I drove a few
blocks and I saw him drunk. Everything that I saw in the dream, the mystery person ran away.
Am I psychic?”, I asked my mom.
My mom smiled.
“It’s working”, she said.
“What’s working?”, I asked.
“MaKhumalo is good at what she does”, my mom said.
“Do you think we are cursed?”, I asked. “No”, she replied.
“I feel like the past is catching up with us in a very bad way”, I said.
“We had to do what we had to do”, she said.
“Thando knows about my failed marriage”, I said.
“Good”, she said.
“Good? How can that be good? It’s embarrassing”
“He needed to know, he’s family”
“Did you tell him?”
“Yes”
“Oh my goodness, I thought Bandile told him. I even confronted him. Why did you tell him?”
“If I didn’t tell him, who was going to tell him? Obviously not you”
“I’m not married, it’s not even official on paper. I didn’t want to get married anyway, you forced
me”
“It was the best thing to do, Nosipho. Marriage is the cover up for all shame in this village”
“And bribing?”
“I did everything for you, aren’t you grateful?”
“I am but it wasn’t the right way”
“Even though something is on your left, it’s still right”
“I told Thando everything”
“Why?”
“Mom, I’m tired of being THAT girl”
“I have no words, Nosipho”
“Does dad really know about this?”
“What did I say to you?”
“You said he knew”
“And now? What’s the problem?”
“I don’t know”
“Nosipho do you trust me?”
“Mom…I do”
“That’s all I want to hear”
“My life is hell”
“The prince came to see you this week but you were in Johannesburg”
“What does he want from me?”
“I don’t know but you should go and visit me”
“What will his wife say? No I can’t”
“Nosipho, that’s disrespectful. You should follow up too, just to show some respect. It’s not like
you’re going to walk, you can drive your fancy car”
“I will see him this afternoon”
“Good girl”
My mom went inside.
I quickly went to my room, Lwazi was still asleep. I looked for my diary in my wardrobe, I used to
write when I had a bad day. The last time I wrote there was last year. I found my diary, the
pages were very hard and bent.
I went through the pages until I got to a certain page. I read it to myself:
“When I told my mom I was pregnant at the age of 14, she made me move in with her mother in
another village. A few months later, I gave birth in my grandmother’s hut with the help of the
older women in that village. I came back home without the baby, my mom staged a mini
traditional wedding for me and my boyfriend at that time. Getting married in this village is a big
deal, I’ve heard of stories of children getting married at the age of 13 to older men. The people
don’t know that the child is my own, mom has brainwashed everyone…”

Lwazi woke up.

“What are you reading?”, he asked.
“It’s just…it’s nothing”, I quickly put the diary away.
Lwazi went out of the room.

This afternoon I have to visit the prince, just to follow up on his visit. I don’t know what he wants
from me.
**********
In the afternoon, I nervously drove to the prince’s house. I didn’t know what I was going to say,
my mom pressurised me to follow up, I had no choice. On my way to the prince’s house, I
received a phone call, it was Antonio. I stopped the car and I answered the phone call.
“I’m going to the Eastern Cape, King Williams Town to be precise for a business meeting, I was
thinking of paying you a visit. I was told it’s not too far from this place”, he said.
I didn’t know what to say.
“Hello? Are you still there?”, he asked.
“Uhm…yes, yes. I’m speechless, I wasn’t expecting that”, I said.
“I always wanted to meet your family but if you’re not comfortable with that idea, I’ll respect
that”, he said.
I didn’t answer him. I was thinking, I didn’t want to disappoint Antonio, he sounded enthusiastic.
“Uhm…uh…why not? Yeah, you can visit me”, I said.
“Alright, have a great day. I need to you know, get going”, he said.
“Bye”, I dropped the phone.
He caught me off guard. I drove to the prince’s house.
When I got there, the prince, Mvuyisi was sitting under the tree with his family’s servant, Patrick.
The same man that accompanied him to my home when they invited me to the ceremony. When
Patrick saw me, he excused us.
“Take a seat”, said Mvuyisi.
I took a seat.
“Thanks for coming to see me”, Mvuyisi smiled.
“I heard you came to see me but I wasn’t home”, I said.
“Yes, I wanted to talk to you”, he said.
“Talk?”, I asked.
“Yes, the way you left was so sudden and – “, the sight of his father made him shut up.

“Greetings young lady”, his father said. “Good afternoon, sir”, I said.
His father, the king was walking with a group of men. They got into the car and drove away.

“As I was saying, the way you left was so sudden and I was disappointed by the way you left. I
won’t lie, I still am”, he said.
“That’s why you visited me?”, I asked.
“You didn’t even apologise, after we invited you to the ceremony, all that trouble”, he said.
“I’m sorry”, I said.
“I was worried, I kept asking myself, ‘did I force this girl into doing something she didn’t want to
do?’ I mean, you know, I was really worried”, he said.
“No, you don’t have to worry. It was my choice”
“Why did you even go when you knew you were planning to leave?”
“I didn’t want to disappoint my parents”
“Okay, anyway, I don’t blame you Nosipho”
“Is this the only thing you wanted to talk about?”
“Uh…er…no”
“Oh?”
“You may know that my father, the king, has more than one wives”
“I know”
“I was thinking of polygamy and I want you to be…you know, my second wife”
“Mvuyisi?”
“Ever since I saw you Nosipho, I fell for you. If you didn’t go to Johannesburg, I swear I would
have chose you. Every time I go to sleep, I always wonder what if…”
“Sorry, I can’t Mvuyisi”
“Why?”
“I don’t want to lie to you, I don’t have feelings for you. Marriage is all about commitment”
“I am committed – ”
“That’s you, good for you but I’m not. Look, I can’t do this…”
“Nosipho, I spoke to your mom, she said you will be more than happy”
“You spoke to my mom about this?”
“Yeah, didn’t she tell you?”
“Excuse me”
I quickly ran to my car and I drove away. I was really angry, I can’t believe my mom.
I got home and I was in rage. My mom was sitting alone in the sitting room. It seems like no one
but my mom was in the house.

“I thought you said you didn’t know why he was here”, I said.
“How did it go?”, she asked.
“Mom, why did you give the guy false hope?”, I asked.
“False hope? What are you talking about?”, she asked.
“Why did you tell Mvuyisi that I will be more than happy to be his second wife? I won’t let you
win this time around. Your days of calling the shots are over”, I said.
“You look stressed, do you want a cup of coffee or tea?”, she asked.
“No”, I replied.
“Okay, you should relax. You should mourn the death of your baby”, mom went outside.
I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t even tell my mom that Antonio was coming to visit, the
timing was so wrong.
It was Thursday and the funeral was on Saturday morning. It wasn’t going to be a big funeral, it
was going to be a private funeral.
@9PM
Me, Lwazi and my parents were watching tv. I received a phone call from King Pin, I went to
answer the phone call in my room.

“King Pin, how are you?”, I asked.

“I’m fine”, he replied in a low tone.
“Are you at home or the club? I can hear people making a noise on the background”, I said.
“Uh…I’m at home, I have uh…a party”, he said.
“A party? Okay, why did you call me?”, I asked.
“I have to uh, uhm…I know you’re going to hate me right now but I…I have to be somewhere on
Saturday so…so I can’t be at the funeral, sorry”, he said.
“You always have to be somewhere when I need you the most”, I was disappointed.
“You need to understand Nosipho. I would love to be there but I can’t”
“Anyway the funeral will happen with or without you”
“Don’t be like that, come on”
“Bye King Pin, enjoy your party”
“Wait – Nosipho, I swear I’ll make it up to you”
“You always say that, bye”
“Good night?”
“Bye!”

I was disappointed that King Pin wasn’t going to the funeral but it’s fine, life goes one.
**********
The next day.
I heard MaKhumalo’s voice, she was in the sitting room. I stayed in bed, I didn’t want to talk to
her. I waited for her to leave. Minutes later she left, I went to the sitting room.
“Good morning”, I greeted my mom.
“MaKhumalo was here – good morning”, my mom said.
“Oh, what did she want?”, I asked.
“She wanted to know how things are going”, my mom said.
“And?”, I asked.
“I told her about the dream you had back in the city”, she said.
“What did she say?”, I asked.
“She wants you to visit her”, she said.
“Is everything okay? I have to prepare for tomorrow’s funeral”, I said.
“It won’t take long”, she said.
“I will visit her in the afternoon”, I said.
My phone rang, I went outside to answer it. It was Antonio.

“Hey Nosipho”, he greeted.

“Antonio, hi, how may I help you?”, I asked.
“I’m in King Williams Town, I’m about to go to a meeting right now. And uh, I’m going to use my
GPS to, uh, get to your village”, he said.
“Okay”, I said.
“Alright, I was also thinking about spending a night at your house. After the funeral tomorrow, I
will leave. You know? Uh, yeah, that’s if you’re comfortable with that of course. Are you still
there?”, he asked.
“Yeah, yes, yeah – I’m listening. I don’t have a problem with that. I…I’ll be more than happy to
host you”, I said.
“Really? That’s good to hear”, he said.
“Yeah”, I said.
“Alright, uhm, I have to go right now. I have to attend the meeting. Bye”, he said.
“Bye”, I said.

I don’t know how my parents will react, I haven’t told them that Antonio is coming.
I spent the morning answering phone calls from the funeral parlour. Everything was set for
tomorrow morning. Only my family and selected friends were going to the private meeting.
Antonio came up with the idea of renting caterers for the day. Not more than thirty people were
going to the meeting, everything will run smoothly.
That afternoon, I went to MaKhumalo’s house. She was sitting outside.
“Nosipho”, she said.
“Ma, greetings. How are you?”, I asked. “I’m fine”, she replied.
“Mom told me you wanted to see me. What’s wrong?”
“Something big is about to happen”
“Excuse me? MaKhumalo, what do you mean?”
“I didn’t want to share this with your mother. Ever since I took your mom under my wings,
helping her, curing her and helping you too – I couldn’t help notice the similarities you, your
mom and Nokwanda have”
“With all due respect MaKhumalo, don’t even put me, my mom and Nokwanda in the same
sentence. Nokwanda is an evil soul and a psychopath”
“Nosipho, I know what I’m talking about – ”
“That’s why I’m here?”
“You can’t help it Nosipho, it’s not your fault. It’s all in your blood, your blood is not pure”
“MaKhumalo, this is ridiculous. There’s nothing wrong with my blood”
“Hear me out. I helped you, it’s your turn to help me”
“What do you want?”
“I want you to help yourself”
“How?”
“Nosipho, last night my bones told me something. I needed to share it with you and not your
mother”
“Why? You’ve been helping my mom for weeks, why are you sidelining her all of a sudden?”
“Because she’s the problem”
“I don’t understand”
“Then help yourself”
“MaKhumalo, you’re speaking in codes, I don’t understand you”
“You understand me but you’re too lazy to analyse everything. I helped you, please return the
favour by helping yourself for me, please?”
“How can I help myself when I don’t know what’s going on?”
“Nosipho, open your eyes – you’re a smart girl. Just open your eyes”
“Oh? I will”
“I’m serious”
“I’m also serious, I will”
“Your mom will obviously ask why I called you here. Just make something up, I don’t want her
to know”
“Sneaky – alright, I’ll make something up”
“Don’t breath a single word to a living soul, Nosipho”
“MaKhumalo, I promise I won’t tell anyone”
“Okay, have a safe journey home”
“Alright, bye”

I left MaKhumalo’s house, I was confused. I must open my eyes? My mother is the problem?
That doesn’t make sense. Anyway, I’m not looking forward to explaining myself to my parents
when Antonio gets here.
*sigh*
**********
@2PM
I saw Antonio’s car. The weather is hot so my parents were sitting under the tree. Antonio came
out of the car, I hugged him. I could see my mom’s face changing.
“Mom and dad, this is my friend, Antonio”, I introduced.
“This is this Antonio guy who impregnated you and cheated on you with your friend?”, mom
asked.
I couldn’t believe King Pin told my mom that Antonio cheated on me.
“Hi, how are you Mr and Mrs Ndamase?”, Antonio humbly asked.
“I’m fine”, my dad said with a straight face.
“Antonio is staying with us for just a night, he’ll immediately leave after the funeral. He helped
with the funeral”, I said.
“Why didn’t you tell us that you invited your boyfriend to sleep over?”, my mom asked.
“He’s not my boyfriend – I didn’t know how I will tell you, I was scared”, I said.
Antonio looked at me.
“Uh, I didn’t know that she didn’t tell you. I thought there was mutual agreement, I’m sorry for
invading your space”, said Antonio.
“How old are you?”, my mom asked.
“Mom that’s not necessary”, I said.
I looked at Antonio and said, “Please go to your car, I want to fix this”.
Antonio went back to his car.
My dad went inside the house, my mom followed him. I also went inside, I was angry.
“I don’t want him here”, my mom said.
“We can’t just chase him away, he’s already here. He helped with the organising of the funeral”,
I said.
“He’s the father of the child, that’s his duty. This man is old enough to be your dad”, my mom
said.
“He’s not that old, Antonio is a good guy. Mom, he’s a good guy”, I said.
“Good guy my foot”, my mom said.
“Okay, Nobesuthu shut up”, my dad interfered.
“Do you want this man in your house?”, mom asked.
“This is my house, I call the shots”, my dad said.
“Do whatever you want Wilfred Ndamase”, my mom left the house.
“Tell this friend of yours to enter the house”, my dad said.
I went to call Antonio, he entered the house.
“Listen, we don’t have enough rooms here. But you can sleep in the shack, in our backyard”, my
dad said.
“Thank you Mr Ndamase, I promise I will respect your space”, said Antonio.
“I know you will respect my space, you look like a respectful man. Nosipho will change the
bedding for you, you can sit down, watch tv and relax. Are you Italian?”, my dad asked.
“Yes sir”, replied Antonio.
“Your accent sells you. If you want to have something to drink, there’s a tavern down the street,
it’s called Bra Xola’s Place”, my dad said.
“It’s okay sir”, Antonio laughed.
“Back in the 70s I used to work for Italians. I was a barman at an Italian owned bar”, my dad
liked telling stories.

It seems like my dad likes Antonio. I went to change the bedding in the shack. I put on some
fresh, clean bedding.
The last time I stepped foot in that shack was when Bandile…when he tried to do something
he’ll regret. The shack was cold inside, suddenly I had this uncomfortable feeling. I sat on the
bed, I closed my eyes and I saw Bandile taking a few steps forward, he held my waist and he
looked deep into my eyes. I relived that moment again.

[“What are you doing?”, I asked.

“What I should have done a long time ago”, he replied.
He smelled my neck, he then kissed my neck.
“What are you doing? You’re my brother”, I was surprised.
I wanted to say something but he kissed me, I quickly pulled back.
“Bandile?”, I was confused.
“All these years, I’ve watched you go out with different guys that didn’t deserve you. I didn’t tell
you how I really feel about you, I like you so much. I never really hated you, I was frustrated that
you never noticed me”, he said.
“But you’re my brother”, I said.]

I opened my eyes again, I heard a knock on the door. I quickly made myself busy. Antonio
entered the shack.
“Wow, thanks”, he looked around.
“I know this isn’t what you had in mind”, I said.
“It’s just fine, I love new experiences”, he said.
“I’m really sorry, this isn’t fancy and stuff”, I said.
“It’s fine Nosipho, really, I am. It’s not like I’m going to stay here forever”, he said. “It’s not like –
no offence, I know you grew up here, I didn’t mean to offend you or anything”, he added.
“It’s alright”, I left the shack.
Antonio chased me.
“Stop, please. I didn’t mean to offend you or make you angry”, he said.
“Stop apologising for something you didn’t do. Okay? I’m just having a bad day, that’s all. And
no, it’s not your fault”, I said.
“Okay, I was just saying”, he turned back.
I went to sit on the stoep. I thought of what MaKhumalo told me. I couldn’t understand, it didn’t
make sense. I don’t know why she didn’t tell me, I don’t understand why I should find out – at
this point, I don’t really care about what MaKhumalo told me. I want to bury my child and start a
new life, I’m tired of always looking for trouble. Lwazi got out of a red car, he entered the yard.
He seemed happy, he sat next to me. He playfully tickled my cheek.
“Smile, smile, smile”, he tickled my cheek.
I smiled.
“Yes and she smiles ladies and gentlemen”, Lwazi fooled around.
“You’re so happy, it’s like you’re not a 16 year old father-to-be”, I said.
“And she kills the mood ladies and gentlemen”, he said.
I sighed.
“When I came I out that car, I saw you thinking, daydreaming, what’s on your mind big sis?”, he
asked.
“Where do I start?”, I asked.
“I know you’re thinking about a certain man”, he said.
I giggled.
“Yes, I’m right, right?”, he asked.
“Yeah”, I said.
“Is it Thando?”, he asked.
I looked at him.
“Oh, come on. Get over him, he’s your cousin for crying out loud. He…hey, who’s car is that?
Wait, I’ve seen this car before. Anthony?”, he asked.
“You mean Antonio? Yes”, I replied.
“What is he doing here? Big sis, what’s your secret? How do you keep all these guys on a tight
leash? They’re all over you”, he said.
Lwazi looked a bit tipsy.
“Antonio is here for the funeral”, I said.
“Is Antonio on your mind?”, he asked.
“No”, I replied.
“You didn’t really give me an answer, is Thando on your mind?”
“No”
“Is it a man?”
“Yeah”
“This guessing game is kinda lame. Am I on your mind, big sis?”
“No”
“The prince?”
“No”
“Your dad?”
“No”
“If I’m not on your mind, your dad isn’t on your mind, Thando, Antonio and the prince are not on
your mind, which other man would be on your mind? Oh, wait, is it Mfundo?”
“Lwazi no”
“Which man is on your mind then?”
“Just go inside and make yourself busy”
“Tell me”
“Go inside”
“Nosipho, I won’t go inside without you telling me”
“You probably had one too many”
“I’m not drunk, Nosipho. Tell me, please?”
“It’s Bandile”
“Eeuw! Sies! Bandile?”
“Eeuw? Sies? Really?”
“That guy didn’t like you”
“I think he can help me open my eyes”
“What are you talking about?”
“Lwazi, you won’t understand. You’re…young”
“Young? You know what this ‘young’ guy did for you? He advices you, protects you, saved your
life and this ‘young’ guy has your back”
“Lwazi, you’re the only person I trust with my whole heart”
“You don’t need Bandile’s ‘eye-opening’ help, I’m right here”
“Thank you but I need to talk to Bandile”
“Alright, I tried – ”
“Lwazi it’s not like I don’t trust you, I do trust you but Bandile is old enough to know the darkest
secrets of this family”
“Stop digging these secrets, you know these secrets will destroy this family”
“I need to know, something…something big is about to happen”
“Nosipho Ndamase is that you? Is that body two?”
“It’s me, I need to know the truth”
“The truth always hurts, just know that. I won’t stand between you and whatever you’re up to.
I’m just scared that these secrets will mess things for us all”
“I just have to, Lwazi”
“Why do you all of a sudden want to know the family’s deepest secrets?”
“Because…I just have to”
“You have to? You’re weird, let me go inside and make myself something to eat”
“Lwazi…please don’t tell anyone”
“Don’t worry, I won’t. You know me”
“Thank you”

I think I have to do this. MaKhumalo gave me a simple instruction, she helped me and it’s my
turn to return the favour by helping myself for her.
I’m like Lwazi, scared of the unexpected.

Part 34: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

@8PM
We had supper, we had a guest. Mom invited the prince, Mvuyisi and the man that serves
Mvuyisi’s family, Patrick.
“Tell Lwazi what you told me”, my mom said to Mvuyisi.
“My dad is planning this huge stick fighting competition to determine who’s the best stick fighter
in Tsomo”, said Mvuyisi.
“You should come”, said Patrick.
I’ve never seen Lwazi stick fight, the only person who loved stick fighting was Bandile.
“I will try”, responded Lwazi.
“You should. Nosipho, you should come to this ceremony happening tomorrow for girls, it’s
going to be amazing”, said Patrick.
“That’s if she’s not busy, of course”, added Mvuyisi.
“She’ll be very busy tomorrow morning, maybe if she comes in the afternoon, is that alright?”,
my mom asked.
“Yes, the ceremony will end in the evening”, said Patrick.
I faked a smile and said, “I would love to come, I can’t wait”.
“So…Antonio do you love this village?”, my mom asked.
“Well, I love this village. The scenery is to die for and the people are very kind”, replied Antonio.
“Italian?”, asked Patrick.
“Yes”, Antonio responded.
“ami il cibo? [Are you enjoying the food?]”, Patrick spoke italian.
“sì [yes]”, Antonio laughed.
“Surprised that a rural man like me knows italian?”, asked Patrick.
“Wow, you reminded me of home by the way. Mr Ndamase also has a history with italians”, said
Antonio.
“Oh, I didn’t know that. I used to serve for an italian family in Cape Town back in the 80s”, said
Patrick.
I was starting to get bored with all the italian talk, my dad was awkwardly silent.

“How’s your wife?”, I asked Mvuyisi.

“She’s fine”, replied Mvuyisi.
“Why isn’t she here?”, I asked.
“Because I didn’t want to overcrowd”, he said.
“But he’s here”, I said referring to Patrick.
“It doesn’t matter anyway”, my mom barged in.
We heard a car outside.
“Are you expecting anyone?”, my dad asked my mom.
“No”, my mom replied.
Everyone was quiet, we heard a knock. Lwazi got up, he went to answer whoever was at the
door.
Lwazi shouted, “It’s Thando”.
I was surprised, Thando? I thought he had an important business meeting tomorrow. I was so
excited to see him, I got up and hugged him.
“Thando my son”, my dad shook King Pin’s hand.
My mom hugged King Pin.
“Hey buddy, you’re also here for the funeral?”, King Pin asked Antonio.
“Nobesuthu, you’re having a funeral at your house?”, asked Patrick.
Things started getting more and more awkward.
“It’s nothing you have to worry about”, my mom said.
King Pin looked at me, I looked away.
“Nice to see you, mate”, Antonio said to King Pin.
“I’ll dish for you”, I went to the kitchen.
I could hear my mom and Mvuyisi conversing while everyone was eating.
“There will be another virgin testing and maiden ceremony”, said Mvuyisi.
“Why? I thought you made up your mind about you know who”, my mom said.
“She said no and I’m not the begging type. Hundreds of girls come from different parts of the
Eastern Cape, with the same hopes and dreams which is to marry the prince, me”, said Mvuyisi.
“There’s a lot going on right now, I think she needs some time to think about everything”, my
mom said.
I went to give King Pin his food and I sat on my seat.
“This young man really loves Nosipho, ever since he saw her in town, he instantly fell in love. It
was, as white people say, ‘love at first sight’. He has literally put his heart on the table for your
daughter”, said Patrick.
“I know he loves Nosipho”, my mom smiled.
“Then why doesn’t your daughter want to marry him?”, asked Patrick.
King Pin looked at me, I looked away. I could feel his eyes, he was staring at me.
“This young man has confessed his love for you, what do you say?”, my dad asked.
“I don’t know”, I shrugged.
“I love you Nosipho Ndamase, I will take good care of you. I’m not like other men out there who
can’t treat a lady. I would never lift a hand on you and I promise to always make you happy”,
said Mvuyisi.
The ‘never lift a hand on you’ really got to King Pin. He just put his plate aside.
“I just lost my appetite”, said King Pin.
“Do you love this man?”, dad asked.
I looked at my mom, she smiled.
“I…I do-don’t know”, I said nervously.
All eyes were on me.
“I need some time to think”, I said.
King Pin shook his head in disagreement as we locked eyes, I looked away.
“Give her some time to think, there’s much going on”, my mom said.
“I have to cancel this virginity testing and maiden ceremony. Your answer will determine
everything”, Mvuyisi smiled. “I never knew xhosa people did virginity testing. Do you really have
to marry a virgin?”, asked King Pin.
“Young man, there’s much you don’t know about the xhosa culture. Some people don’t really
care if they marry a virgin or not but where this young man comes from, they do care. His father,
the king, married his mother when she was still a virgin. All his four wives were virgins when the
king married them. This young man also married a virgin, hence the virginity testing that takes
place before the maiden ceremony. Well, his wife is of course, no longer a virgin. They’re
expecting their first child, we all hope it’s a boy. Well, old women in our village suspect it’s a boy
since the mother is ‘ugly’ during pregnancy. We also think it’s a boy”, said Patrick.
King Pin laughed.
“What’s funny?”, my mom asked.
“Nothing, I just remembered something…that’s hilarious”, he said.

The supper was really boring. I wish I wasn’t here.

Mvuyisi and Patrick seemed to have enjoyed their time. They later left. Right after they left, the
pastor came to the house. He wasn’t the village pastor, I didn’t know him. My mom asked him to
help conduct the private funeral. I was happy that the pastor agreed to help us.
**********
Antonio went to sleep in the shack. King Pin was outside, he was standing under the tree. I
sneaked behind him and I shouted, “Hey!” with the hopes of giving him a fright.
“I thought you were going to scream like a girl and say aaaaaah! Next time I will get you”, I said
playfully.
“What happened back there?”, he asked.
“We ate supper? It was boring actually”, I said.
“You can’t be a puppet your whole life, you know”, he said.
“I’m not a puppet, I don’t even know what you mean”, I said.
“Really? Okay”, he said.
“Whatever”, I said.
“Your mom is the puppet master. She’s controlling the strings”, he said.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. She wants the best for me”, I said.
“More like she wants the best for herself”, he said.
I didn’t answer him.
“Nosipho go inside and wash the dishes”, said mom.
She gave me a fright, King Pin was also surprised. Maybe she just got there and she didn’t
hear everything.
“I heard you like whiskey, why don’t you come inside and drink with your uncle, he missed you.
There’s a lot of catching up you both have to do”, mom said to King Pin.
“I love whiskey, I would love that – thank you”, King Pin went inside.
I washed the dishes. My dad was having a conversation with King Pin as they drank whiskey.
Lwazi came to the kitchen.
“I’m tired of these people”, he said.
“Who are these people?”, I asked.
“Thando and your dad”, he replied.
I paused.
“Why are you saying ‘these people’?”, I asked.
“Mxm. Thando is suppose to sleep in the shack, not Antonio”, he said.
“Get lost”, I continued washing dishes.
“Okay princess”, he said with a smirk.

At night, everyone was sleeping in their respected spaces. King Pin was sleeping on the couch,
well, he was having troubles sleeping. Lwazi was snoring, I couldn’t sleep so I went to watch tv.
King Pin sat up.
“I won’t lie, this couch is not comfortable at all”, he complained.
“You can sleep in my bed”, I said.
He looked at me.
I chuckled. “Not together, of course. I’ll sleep on the couch”, I said.
“No, it’s fine”, he said.
“If you say so…okay”, I shrugged.
“I drank whiskey, I’m suppose to be sleeping not struggling to sleep. Don’t tell your dad but I
think the whiskey was filtered”, he laughed.
I joined him in laughter.
“It was mixed with water, it wasn’t strong. Let’s call it, waterskey”, he laughed.
“Oh my goodness, that’s crazy”, I smiled.
“Your mom was checking me out the whole time. She was giving me the crazy eyes, it was
creepy. Every time I looked the other way, she was staring at me. When I was talking to your
dad, I can feel her eyes. Heavy. Is it because of what I said about her? Maybe she caught a few
words when she interrupted?”, he asked.
“I don’t know – I hope not”, I said.
“Because I won’t lie hey, I meant every word”, he said.
“You don’t know my mom”, I said.
“This family is built on foundation of lies. It won’t be nice when the foundation crumples and
secrets are discovered. And I’m just saying”, he said.
“You only been in this family for two seconds, you don’t know anything about my family. Don’t
pass any judgment whatsoever”, I left the sitting room angrily.
King Pin followed me to my room.
“Hey, hey – I’m not passing any judgment. I’m just saying. You also know that this family has
secrets”, he said.
“Which family doesn’t have secrets?”, I asked.
He didn’t answer me.

We heard a noise coming from the outside. We looked at each other, it wasn’t an owl or frogs or
crickets, we never heard this noise before.
“Did you hear that?”, he asked.
“Yeah, I did”, I said.
“Sounded like a wild animal or something”, he said.
“I’ve never heard that sound in my life. I’ve lived in this village for nineteen years, and I’ve never
heard such – we should go to sleep”, I was scared.
“We should at least check – let me looked out the window”, he said.
“No! You don’t do that around here. You don’t look out the window at night at something you
don’t know, you’ll go blind”, I said.
“That’s just a silly xhosa myth”, he took it lightly.
“King P – Thando, don’t look out the window. Trust me”, I tried to stop him.
“I’ll just take an innocent look, just for a few seconds – I won’t stare”, he went to look out the
window.
He doesn’t listen, he always does his own thing.
King Pin looked out the window then he closed the curtains again.
“I saw nothing, for your information, I can see just fine”, he said arrogantly.
“Do you always have to be THAT person? I told you, don’t look. You don’t listen to anyone but
yourself”, I said angrily.
“What? It’s not like I committed a crime. I did that for us – everyone – our safety”, he said.
“You did it for yourself, for your curiosity. I hope you’re happy. You’re twenty-seven years old,
not seventeen! Start acting your age”, I said.
“I can’t see! Oh my God! I can’t see”, he kneeled down.
I was worried, I went to help him.
“Oh my goodness, I told you don’t look out the window”, I hesitated.
“Ha! Got you! Next time, don’t let your frustrations out on me”, he walked away.
“You’re so childish!”, I said furiously.
He laughed, his laughter irritated the living shit out of me.
I cooled off, then I went to sleep. King Pin is just an arrogant bastard who thinks he’s the boss. I
guess it’s true what they say, “you can love a person easily and hate that person easily”. I won’t
call it hate but I’m starting to dislike him more and more. All his player tendencies, lies,
arrogance, self-centred nature and bossy attitude is starting to get on my nerves.
Tomorrow morning I have to wake up early in the morning. The hearse will arrive at 6am as
promised. The private funeral will begin at 7am.
I can’t wait to get this funeral over and done with!
**********
I woke up early the next morning. By 5:30am I was already dressed. I wanted to check on
Antonio outside but the thought of the noise I heard last night gave me a fright. Lwazi went to
pee outside, that was the best moment for me to tag along and check on Antonio.

I knocked on the door.

“It’s me, open”, I said.
He opened the door. He was wearing an expensive suit, it really suited him.
“You’re looking good”, I complimented.
“Thanks, you’re also looking good”, he returned the compliment.
He quickly looked outside and he closed the door.
“Your mom was generous enough to bring me hot water in a bucket to wash”, he said.
“Oh”, I said.
“Uhm, did you hear anything last night?”, he asked.
He also heard it? My heart stopped.
“Yeah”, I responded.
“That thing was really scary. I heard it surround this shack, I was really scared. Its footsteps
were heavy, that means it’s a pretty big animal or beast, whatever it was. I’ve never been that
scared – ever”, he said.
“I was also scared. You say it surrounded the shack? That must be one hell of a scary
experience”, I said.
“Do you think it has anything to do with witchcraft? I heard some spooky things about rural
villages”, he said.
“I don’t know – I hope not”, I shrugged.

We left the shack, we went inside the house.

“Nosipho you must fetch mom and the others”, my mom said.
“Okay”, I grabbed my car keys.
I had to fetch MaDlamini, Mongezi, Babalwa and Amandla. I drove to my granny’s house.
When I got there, they were still getting ready. I had to wait for them, which I didn’t like. It was
getting clear and more clearer outside. I went outside to get some fresh air. I saw a group of
villagers surrounding something. I was curious what it was, so I went to check whatever it was. I
couldn’t see what it was because my way was blocked by enthusiastic villagers. I heard a
woman say, “The tokoloshe (gibberish) ate the cow. These tokoloshes are back”. How can a
tokoloshe eat a cow? I walked to my granny’s yard. I thought to myself, what if it was that
strange animal that made that unusual noise last night? Yet again, what if the noise I heard last
night was of an injured dog or goat or cow or sheep?
Finally, they were all ready to go. I drove home.
When I got home, I noticed the hearse outside. The baby’s petite body was here. The pastor
was present. Not much people, just as planned. It’s a private meeting – it’s private for a reason.
The pastor conducted the funeral at home, it was my mother’s idea. When it was time to go to
the graveyard, when we went outside, we noticed some onlookers. Curious eyes were looking, I
looked at my mom – she didn’t like it – I could tell.
At the end we buried the child, there was no need for an obituary. We didn’t even do a memorial
service, what’s the use? We only knew the gender of the baby and nothing else. As soon as we
got home, there were caterers that catered for my family. I didn’t have much of an appetite, the
only craving I had was pen and paper. I went to my room, sat on the bed and began writing:

I only know you by your gender and your heartbeat

You died a lonely death in the womb of a bitter teenager
Or is your death a representation of my soul?
A soul that is dead?
Or is your death a representation of my family?
A family whose integrity is dead?
Must I blame your death on myself?
Must I blame your death on the greed of stillbirth?
Must I blame your death on my family?
There’s no doubt, I’m a bad mother
I…
I couldn’t finish what I was writing. I quickly went to MaKhumalo’s house. I don’t know why but
something just told me to go there.

I drove to MaKhumalo’s house. The time was around 10am. MaKhumalo was collecting woods.
“Good morning”, I greeted.
“Nosipho, I didn’t expect to see you here”, she said.
“You never really told me the problem”, I said.
MaKhumalo placed the woods in her bedroom.
“You have to figure it out by yourself”, she snapped.
“MaKhumalo, how am I suppose to do that? My eyes are always open but still nothing”, I
complained.
“Use your brain, you’re smart but you don’t have confidence in yourself. You’re a smart girl,
Nosipho – why don’t you believe that?”, she asked.
“I do”, I said meekly.
“Be aware of everything around you, the signs are around you. You just don’t use your brain,
you’re stubborn”, she said.
“At least give me a hint”, I said.
MaKhumalo looked at me in a funny way.
“I know, but please”, I begged.
“I don’t know the problem but there’s a problem”, she said.
I chuckled to myself.
“All along you don’t know the problem? And you’re judging me for not knowing the problem?
This is crazy. Maybe it’s true what they say about sangomas (traditional healer/witch doctor)
they like to break up families. I won’t let you destroy my family, there’s nothing wrong with
anyone here”, I said.
“If you think I’m doing this just to destroy families, why are you here then?”, she asked.
I didn’t answer her.
“I healed you, do you remember that? You were seeing ghosts, people thought you were crazy.
Do you see ghosts now? No. Who helped you? Who helped you?”, she asked.
“You”, I replied.
“Exactly. If I were you, I would focus on knowing this mystery problem”, she said.
“How do you know there’s a problem?”, I asked.
“My bones”, she responded.
“Last night, I heard a weird noise. I wasn’t the only person who heard this strange noise but my
cousin and my friend. It sounded like a wild animal or beast, I don’t know”, I said.
“There’s something happening in all these villages. People complain that there’s something
eating their crops, cows, dogs, cats, sheep, etc”, she said. “I saw a group of villagers
surrounding a dead cow which was killed by, supposedly, a tokoloshe”, I said.

There was a knock on the door – it was my mother.

“Having a private meeting?”, she asked with a smile.
“No”, I responded.
“Take a seat Nobesuthu”, said MaKhumalo.
“I was about to leave”, I lied.
“Alright, I hope I didn’t disturb whatever you were doing here”, she said.
“Bye MaKhumalo”, I left.

I went home, there’s a lot of questions that need answers.

**********
Antonio left after having lunch, I thanked him for everything he has done for me. King Pin didn’t
leave, he told me that he’s leaving the next morning.
After the funeral, I noticed a change in King Pin. He was moody, he was sitting next to the
shack. I went to ask him what was wrong.
“Are you okay?”, I asked.
“Yes”, he mumbled.
“You don’t look okay”, I said.
“Remember when you told me you and your mom went to MaKhumalo’s house for the first
time?”, he asked.
“No”, I replied.
“Remember man, you said MaKhumalo cut you and your mom and she joined your bleeding
scars together. You didn’t tell me that your granny had that scar too. I don’t know but when I
was helping her out the car, I saw the scar and she hid it. Why did she hid it? Is she
embarrassed or something?”, asked King Pin.
I giggled.
“MaDlamini doesn’t have any scars on her arms. Maybe it’s just a scratch because she fell after
opening her eyes in that hut, MaDuna’s hut”, I said.
“It was a scar, it looked fresh. I’m sure it’s painful because it looks painful”, he said.
“I didn’t notice that scar”, I said.
King Pin kept quiet.
“Why are you sad?”, I asked.
“I’m not sad, I’m just thinking”, he said.
“About?”, I asked.
“Whenever I’m here, I just…I’m not free, I’m not myself. The atmosphere is tense”, he said.
“You’ll get used to it”, I said.
“There’s a lot of witchcraft in this village. Lwazi told me about the tokoloshe terrorising people’s
houses and possessions and also killing animals. This village is a freak show, for real”, he said.
“I grew up here, I guess I’m used to everything”, I said.
“After you went to sleep, your mom went out of the house. She thought I was sleeping”, he said.
“My mom went out? Thanks God that mysterious animal didn’t kill her”, I was shocked.
“This is weird if you ask me. This is too weird and coincidental – I thought this one through and it
doesn’t make sense”, he said.
“What are you trying to say?”, I asked enthusiastically.
“Well, I…”, he didn’t finish the sentence because he started coughing.
“Do you need some water?”, I asked.

King Pin kept coughing, I ran inside to pour some water for King Pin.
When I came out, I saw blood.
“Oh my word! What did you eat?”, I asked. I was surprised – shocked.
King Pin drank the water, he kept rinsing his mouth with water. I called Lwazi, he came rushing.
“Thando my bro, are you alright?”, asked Lwazi.
“I’m fine now”, he stood up.
“Are you sure?”, I asked.
“Yes”, he said firmly.
He went inside the house.
“What’s wrong with him? He looks angry”, said Lwazi.
“I don’t know”, I shrugged.
“He looks like a girl on her periods”, joked Lwazi.
“It’s not funny, he could’ve died”, I walked away.
Lwazi shouted, “Are you two sharing tampons?”

As promised, I had to go to the “girls” ceremony that was hosted by Mvuyisi’s family. Lwazi also
tagged along, he was going to participate in the stick fighting competition. I can’t wait to see his
ass get beaten by the other guys.
I’m not really looking forward to this but hey…
**********
When we got to the valley, there were hundreds of people. It seems like almost everyone went
there. I think most people were looking forward to the stick fighting competition. I saw
MaKhumalo, she smiled and waved when she saw me. My mother, grandmother, Mongezi,
Babalwa, Amandla, MaDuna, Bhele and Mam’Gwevu were all there. I later saw my dad and
King Pin there.

MaKhumalo wanted to talk to me, we went to a place more quiet.

“I heard you’re going to dance with the girls”, she said.
“The irony”, I joked.
“Are you going to dance?”, she asked.
“I…I don’t know, I’m not pure, I don’t want to make the same mistakes I did back then. I don’t
want to live a lie but at the same time, I don’t want to disappoint my family”, I said.
“Listen to your heart”, advised MaKhumalo.
“Okay”, I nodded.
“This is for you”, MaKhumalo gave me something tightly wrapped in a handkerchief.
“What is this?”, I asked.
“Keep it safe”, she said.
I took it and I shoved it in my pocket. I didn’t even know what is was. We went to join the crowd
again.
My mom came with the prince.
“Hey Nosipho”, he said.
“Hi”, I smiled.
“Great seeing you here. Can we talk in private?”, he asked.
“Private?”, my mom asked.
“Yes”, responded the prince.
“Okay, let me excuse you then”, my mom left.

The prince, Mvuyisi led me to a beautiful hut.

“You may take a seat”, he pointed to the beautiful couch.
“Thank you – this couch is beautiful”, I complimented.
“Well, my wife likes decor”, he said.
“Your wife has great taste”, I said.
He smiled uncomfortably.
“Have you thought about what we spoke about?”, he asked.
“I haven’t had time to think about that”, I said.
“How long do you take to make your decisions? A decade, perhaps?”, he mocked.
“Yes, a decade – sometimes I take a century”, I ridiculed the situation.
“I’m not playing Nosipho”, he said.
“I’m also not playing”, I said.
He sat next to me.
“I meant every word that I said to you, I really love you and I would love to make you my wife. I
will take good care of you, I promise. Please, at least take a risk – let’s get married – if you’re
not happy in the marriage, you can leave me. Just take this one risk, life is about taking risks”,
he preached.
“I’ve taken more risks than I can handle. I don’t want to make the same mistakes I did. Your wife
is pregnant, take care of her – look after her and stop chasing girls”, I said.
“I’m not chasing girls, I’m just chasing you. Can’t you see that I love you?”, he asked.
“You’re a great guy Mvuyisi but I don’t want to marry you. I don’t even like polygamy”, I said.
He kept quiet.
“You made me wait, you gave me hope but deep down you knew you didn’t want to marry me. I
feel like a fool”, he buried his face in his hands.
“I’m sorry Mvuyisi, I didn’t want to disappoint my family. I’ve always cared about what they say,
especially my mom. It’s time for me to do me, I don’t want to live up to people’s expectations of
me. There’s a lot I want to tell you”, I said.

For once I felt like I was in charge. I felt very comfortable.

I took a deep breathe.
“I’m not a virgin. At the age of fifteen I got married and I had a baby – it wasn’t a formal real
marriage – just a cover up. My ‘husband’ and my kid left, until this day I don’t know where they
are. This afternoon, we went to bury my child. She was only five months as a result of stillbirth”,
tears raced down my face.
“Why are you telling me this?”, he asked.
“That’s the real me”, I said.
“Who are you right now? I want to speak to the real Nosipho Ndamase”, he said.
“Speak”, I said.
“After the ceremony, I don’t want to see you and your family on these grounds. I don’t want to
associate myself with liars. Tell me, if you had a kid when you were fifteen, how the hell did you
pass the virginity test?”, he asked.
I looked the other way.
“You cheated? I don’t even want to look at you right now, I’m disgusted. Your mom is a
manipulator, she played me. Your family is nothing but power hungry freaks, thanks God I didn’t
marry you”, he said.
“Don’t include my family into this. Your family is as bad as mine, your dad killed his father for the
throne”, I said angrily.
Mvuyisi stood up.
“I curse you and your family. May you live a miserable life of poverty!”, he shouted.
“God forbid!”, I shouted.
“Leave!”, he was angry.
I left.

I felt this powerful energy overwhelm my body. The real me is back, I’ve imprisoned my true self
for months, well, years. I was happy, I looked for MaKhumalo, I wanted to tell her everything but
I didn’t see her. People were surrounding two boys that were stick fight. I saw Lwazi shirtless,
he looked exhausted.
“How did it go?”, I asked.
He shook his head, “I won two rounds but I got knocked out by that guy wearing a red shirt”, he
pointed to a guy that was fighting.
“He’s good, plus you wouldn’t have won this competition. Look at all these guys, they’re
stronger than you and older”, I said.
“Thank you, that’s what I want to hear after I injured my thumb”, he said.
“You injured your thumb? Let me see”, I said.
“It’s fine”, he said.
I watched the stick fighting competition, those guys can kick some ass.

Part 35: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

My jaw dropped to the floor when I saw Mfundo. He was getting ready to stick fight. He didn’t
see me, I wanted to say hi to him but after rejecting him, I felt bad. My grandmother, MaDlamini
was sitting on a chair. Taking in what King Pin told me, I had to check it out for myself. I went to
stand next to her.
“Your brother was good”, she said.
“Oh yeah? I didn’t get to see him, I feel bad but I spoke to him”, I said.
“He should work on his stick fighting skills”, she said.
“I’m sure he will. Are you fine?”, I asked.
She looked at me confused, “Why wouldn’t I be?”, she asked.
“Didn’t you fall and injure yourself?”, I asked.
“No”, she giggled.
“It’s hot today, why are you wearing a jersey?”, I asked.
“Because I’m old”, she responded.
“Or maybe you’re hiding something”, I said.
“Isn’t that Mfundo?”, she asked.
“What happened?”, I asked her.
“He looks all grown up”, she continued. I was getting a bit agitated, she wasn’t answering my
questions, she was trying so hard to change the subject.
I quickly pulled her jersey sleeves and I saw a huge cut on her left arm. It looked bad, I wanted
to vomit.
“Are you happy now?”, she asked.
“What happened? It looks like you were involved in an accident and no, you didn’t fall”, I said.
“You always curious, this is just a cut. I’m old, I tumble and fall. My balance is not as good as
you kids”, she smiled.
I knew she wasn’t telling the truth.
Suddenly I felt someone pulling me violently, it was my mom. She pulled me to a place with not
so many people. “Why did you tell him?”, she was angry.
“Because he deserves to know the truth”, I said.
“The only thing he deserves is your love”, she said.
“I don’t love Mvuyisi”, I said.
She slapped me.
“I only wanted the best for you”, she said.
“No, you only wanted the best for yourself”, I said.
“You went to the city, I was cool about that. You were pregnant, I supported you. People were
talking bad things about you, I managed to make your name clean. This is how you thank me?”,
she asked.
“What you did for me was expectant, you are my mother. I don’t owe you anything”, I said.
“Yes you do, you owe me respect and loyalty”, she said.
“You can’t expect me to return the favour. You were being a mother, it’s your duty to love me
and do all those things for me. I respect you a lot, because you are my mother”, I said.
“I did all those things because I love you. I hooked you up with the prince because I love you, I
wanted you to live a life that I never lived. I also wanted to marry a prince but when he didn’t
accept me, I was heartbroken. I wasn’t a virgin, I couldn’t marry him. If he had chose me, I
would have been a queen now”, she said.
“Are you talking about Mvuyisi’s father?”, I asked.
“Yes”, she mumbled.
“This is just too much”, I left.

I won’t allow my mother to pollute my thoughts. I went to watch the stick fighting competition.
King Pin was standing next to my dad, I went to join them.
“Mfundo is kicking ass, he’s good”, said King Pin.
“Oh”, I mumbled.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”, he asked.
“I’m fine”, I lied.
“Mfundo made it to the finals, he’s going to fight some guy”, he said.
“Good for him”, I wasn’t showing interest.
“Come on, this is not a funeral, loosen up girl”, King Pin tried to cheer me up.
“Nosipho if you frown, you’ll grow old soon”, my dad said.
“That beautiful face deserves a beautiful frown”, King Pin smiled.
He made me smile.
“That’s more like it, great job”, he said.
Mfundo saw us, he went to us.
“Hello people”, he greeted.
“Hello”, we sang.
“I don’t remember you mentioning that you were a great stick fighter”, said King Pin.
“That’s not something to brag about”, said Mfundo.
“I would”, said King Pin.
“I know you would”, Mfundo laughed.
“Who are you fighting next?”, dad asked.
“I don’t know – I wish I win the finals. If I win the finals, I will compete with the best. All the guys
that win the finals fight with each other. The last man standing is the champion”, said Mfundo.
“Don’t worry mate, you already won this. They should all go home because you’re the
champion”, said King Pin.
“At least you have a cheerleader”, I said referring to King Pin.
“Aren’t you my cheerleader too?”, asked Mfundo.
“I will be your cheerleader when you win”, I said.
“So you think I’m going to win?”, asked Mfundo.
“If”, I added.
“Nosipho celebrates with everyone that wins, she doesn’t have a favourite”, King Pin joked.
They all laughed.
“I wouldn’t mind having you as my cheerleader”, Mfundo flirted.
“Congratulations on a well deserved win”, Lwazi shook Mfundo’s hand.
“What happened to your thumb?”, asked Mfundo.
“I injured myself while fighting”, replied Lwazi.
“I give you a two thumbs up for the effort”, joked King Pin.
We all laughed.
“At this point I don’t know if you’re sober or drunk”, joked Lwazi.
No one laughed.
“Your joke just impregnated a girl”, King Pin laughed.
“Do you mind holding this blanket? Because you’re used to holding blankets”, joked Lwazi.
Things were becoming a bit too personal. My dad left.
“If you can’t handle the heat, get out of the car boot”, said King Pin.
Lwazi sneezed and said, “I just remember, I’m allergic to bullshit”.
“Okay, stop – this isn’t funny anymore”, I said.
“Give me your dad’s address, I want to kick his ass for not using a condom”, said King Pin.
“Woah”, Mfundo was surprised.
Lwazi was angry, he wanted to beat King Pin but Mfundo stopped him. King Pin was just
standing there, he was laughing.

“You think you can fight me? You think you can fight me? Come, I dare you boy. You’re just a
sixteen year old and you’re trying to fight me? I’ll kill you”, King Pin ranted.
“It’s okay, cool down”, I said.
“Don’t tell me to cool down. Your brother is acting immature. You took everything serious, I only
made one joke boy”, said King Pin.
“I’m not a boy, I’m a man”, said Lwazi.
“Let’s all just get along and watch these talented stick fighters. Shall we?”, asked Mfundo.
King Pin left the scene angrily.
“Look at him, and he says I’m immature? Fuck that guy, he thinks he’s better than everyone.
Fuck him”, Lwazi was angry.

Obviously things took a turn for the worse. It’s obvious that Lwazi doesn’t really like King Pin, it’s
been a while now.
I hope they resolve their issues, they’re cousins.
**********
Obviously Lwazi and King Pin are not on good terms now. They didn’t talk to each other, things
were really awkward.
Mfundo was ready to fight his opponent, Patrick introduced Mfundo’s opponent – it was Bandile.
I was shocked, I was just shocked. How did he get here?
“What is he doing here?”, King Pin asked me.
“How am I suppose to know? I don’t know”, I said.
A few minutes later Linda appeared, she ran towards King Pin.
“What’s going on?”, King Pin was confused.
“Bandile wanted to come to the stick fighting championships, he says he never missed a
competition. I decided to accompany him, I had nothing going on really. I was bored. Hey
Nosipho”, said Linda.
“Hi”, I felt uncomfortable.
“Bullshit, that’s just an excuse to come and see me”, said King Pin.
“You know you’re full of yourself, right?”, Linda laughed.
“See you later King Pin”, I excused myself.

I looked for MaKhumalo again, there were many people, I didn’t see her. Mfundo and Bandile
were stick fighting, I didn’t pay attention to that fight – I was looking for MaKhumalo.
I looked for MaKhumalo pretty much everywhere and I didn’t find her, maybe she left. I was
tired, I sat on a big rock. I felt my arm hurting, the scar to be precise. It healed long time ago,
this was weird – the pain was sharp, it’s like someone was inserting needles in my skin. I closed
my eyes, the pain disappeared.
After stick fighting match, Bandile was declared the winner and he was going to participate with
real strong competitors that advanced to the next level. He took a break, I figured that’s my cue
– he’s the person I wanted to talk to about ‘family issues’. He was sitting under a tree, eating
bread with a banana.
“Hey”, I greeted.
“Aren’t you suppose to be at the girls’ ceremony? Or did they kick you out? You’re not virgin”, he
said.
“Can we not talk about that?”, I pleaded.
“What can we talk about?”, he asked.
“I want to talk to you about something really important. I know this a wrong place to discuss
what I’m about to ask you”, I said.
“Sounds serious”, he said.
“It is”, I said.
“What’s that?”, he asked.
“You’re my only hope. I want to know the real truth about my mom and her twin”, I said.
He laughed.
“What’s funny?”, I asked.
“How am I suppose to know about your mom’s twin? I wasn’t even born at that time, I only know
what other people told me and what your family told me”, he said.
“What did other people say?”, I asked.
“They said what your family told me. Your mom’s twin was evil”, he said.
“That’s it?”, I asked.
“Yeah, what were you expecting to hear?”, he asked.
“Tell me something I don’t know”, I said.
“Like what?”, he asked.
“Tell me about the secrets you know about my family that I don’t know”, I said.
“Oh, wow, can we continue this after the competition? Plus I’m starving, I need to eat”, he said.
“Alright, you can meet me in my car then”, I said.
“Okay”, he resumed eating.

I was hopeful, I knew I was going to get the answers I was looking for.

2 hours later.
Bandile won two fights but unfortunately lost his third fight. I was waiting for him in my car. He
entered my car, he had a scar on his face.
“Woah, and your face?”, I asked.
“This? It’s nothing, it’s just a battle scar”, he said.
“Thanks for coming”, I said.
“Anything for my ex-sister”, he smiled.
“Tell me what I want to hear”, I said.
“I haven’t relaxed yet and you want me to get straight to the point? Let’s just chill first”, he said.
“Chill? I’m not here to chill, I want you to tell me nothing but the truth”, I said. “I will, if you
promise to chill”, he said.
“This is stupid”, I said.
“No it’s not, do you know what’s stupid? You asking me for help after you humiliated me and
accusing me of something I didn’t do”, he said.
“I’m sorry for everything I did to you”, I said.
“Now you’re sorry? When were you going to apologise if I didn’t bring that up? I know you’re
going to accuse me of being an asshole and I don’t care. The world doesn’t revolve around”, he
said.
“I’m sorry, what do you want me to say? Everyone makes mistakes, I’m only human”, I said.
“If you really think everyone makes mistakes, why can’t you forgive Linda?”, he asked.
“I forgave her long time ago but I can’t be her friend, I told her. Why can’t you help me? Is it
because I rejected you?”, I asked.
“Do you think when I say no to you it’s because you rejected me? I don’t care about that
anymore, why would I dwell on something I would never have?”, he asked.
“You’re the only person who can help me”, I said.
“Why are you suddenly interested in your family’s secrets?”, he asked.
“I want to know the truth”, I said.
“The truth hurts, Nosipho”
“I know, please tell me everything you know that I don’t know”
“I don’t know much”
“Tell me what you know”
“Uhm…well…when I was young I heard stories about your mom’s family being involved in
witchcraft. Your grandmother’s mother was a witch and she had an altercation with another
witch. Apparently this witch cursed your great grandmother, it was reported that she passed
away a day after the altercation. People said she was bewitched by the other witch but your
mom’s family said she died because of heart failure. The witch cursed all the female members,
born and to-be-born. I don’t know what was the curse. I think Nokwanda turned out to be the
way she was because of the curse. Your grandmother had three miscarriages, your mother had
two miscarriage and…”
“I also lost my baby”
“Yes, Nosipho I don’t know everything”
“So…you mean the story goes on?”
“Yeah, ask your mother or grandmother”
“They will never tell me the truth”
“Then ask an elderly person from the village – someone who was close with your family.
Like…the old lady that lost her child at a young age. The old lady that sacrificed her child”
“Mam’Gwevu?”
“Yes, her”
“Okay, I will. I didn’t know she was close with my family”
“There’s a lot you don’t know”
“Thank you Bandile”
“Don’t thank me – ”
“But I will anyway, thank you. Sorry for not advancing to the next stage, you’re a good stick
fighter”
“I know, maybe next year I will win for the first time”
“Maybe”
“Okay, bye Nosipho”
“Bye Bandile”

Bandile got out of the car. I need to speak to Mam’Gwevu, I saw her today, I hope she agrees to
help me.
Secrets are coming out.
**********
With this new revelation, I had to speak to Mam’Gwevu, I saw her around. I looked for her, I
couldn’t find her – how can I? There are hundreds of people, I thought to myself, maybe she
went home. I decided to drive to Mam’Gwevu’s house, when I got to her, I knocked and nobody
answered. Her neighbour told me that she went to the ceremony hosted by the king, I didn’t see
her there. My impatience was growing, maybe if I come in the evening, she will be home.
I went straight home. No one was in the house but the door was wide open, such selfishness. I
saw my mom’s bag, I instantly knew she’s the one that left the door wide open. Maybe she was
in the toilet, I went to check her and she wasn’t there. Or maybe she went to visit a friend or
she’s at her mother’s house. The pastor knocked on the door, it’s been a while since I saw him.
His beard covered his face, he looked different.
“Good afternoon Nosipho”, he said with a deep voice.
“Good afternoon pastor”, I wasn’t expecting him – he caught me off guard. “Take a seat”, I said.
My mother didn’t bake anything, I know how the pastor loves my mom’s baking.
“Mom didn’t bake anything, it’s been a while since she baked”, I said.
“Oh my child, your mom is a good baker but it’s fine. I already ate”, he said.
“Can I get your some tea or coffee?”, I asked.
“I’m fine my child. My stomach is full, eating while full is a sin. No thanks my child”, he said.
I thought to myself, does everything have to be a sin?
“Mom isn’t home”, I said.
“I can see that. People are talking out there, they say there was a funeral in this house. That’s
bizarre”, he said.
“People should just mind their own business”, I said.
“No, people are worried. What is happening in this household? People are fighting, there are
funerals happening and your parents don’t barely go to church anymore”, he said.
“Whatever is happening here doesn’t concern anyone but the people living here”, I said.
“I am worried about you and your family. What is going on?”, he asked.
“You’re here now, do you see anything odd? Definitely not”, I said.
“This family needs prayer my child. This house need prayer. This house is tense”, he said.
“As you can see my parents are not home. Nice seeing you, I’ll tell them that you came to visit”,
I said.
“I’ll come back later”, he left.

People should just mind their business.

After the pastor left, I went to MaKhumalo’s house. I knocked for a while, nobody answered.
Something told me to just open the door, when I opened the door, it looked like someone broke
in. Things were messy, I opened MaKhumalo’s bedroom and it was half empty, I heard a noise
coming from the other room. “MaKhumalo? Is that you?”, I asked.
“Nosipho”, my mom called. She came out of the room.
“What are you doing here?”, I asked.
“Where did MaKhumalo say she was going?”, she asked.
“I don’t know”, I said.
“Don’t lie”, she said.
“‘I’m not lying, I’m telling the truth. I don’t know, she didn’t mention anything to me”, I said.
Another woman entered the house, she introduced herself as Nontandathu.
“Can I help you”, asked Nontandathu.
“We’re looking for MaKhumalo”, my mom said.
“MaKhumalo is away, she didn’t say when she’ll be back”, said Nontandathu.
“She’s away?”, asked mom.
“She went to Durban to train would-be sangomas”, said Nontandathu.
“Okay”, my mom was disappointed.
“Do you have her phone number?”, I asked.
“Yes”, replied Nontandathu.
“Please give me her phone number”, I said.
Nontandathu took out her phone and she gave me MaKhumalo’s phone numbers.
“Are you related to MaKhumalo?”, mom asked.
“Yes, I’m her niece”, replied Nontandathu.

I left my mom with Nontandathu, I went home. When I got home I saw King Pin and Linda, they
were kissing.
“Where are the shack keys?”, asked King Pin.
I gave him the keys – they were next to a the tv.
“Thank you, I didn’t see them”, he went out of the house with Linda. They were holding hands.

In the evening I decided to visit Mam’Gwevu. Luckily she was home. I knocked and she opened
the door.
“Young lady, how may I help her?”, she asked.
“Good evening Mam’Gwevu. I’m here because I need your help that’s all”, I said.
“You need my help?”, she asked.
“Yes, I would like to ask you a few questions”, I said.
“Young lady, if this is about my child, we already had this talk”, she said.
“No, no, it’s not about your child. It’s about my family”, I said.
She shook her head.
“Please, I need your help. I would like to ask you a few questions”, I said.
“Where do I come in?”, she asked.
“I heard that you were very close with my family back in the days”, I said.
“Nosipho, young lady, that was back then”
“It doesn’t matter”
“What do you want to know?”
“The curse”
“You’re too young to know about that”
“I’m old enough, please I need to know”
“Why? That’s something that happened years ago”
“Mam’Gwevu – I need to know because I want to help my family”
“What do you need to know?”
“Everything, the curse, just everything”
“Are you ready for the truth?”
“Yes”
“Okay”

At last, I was going to know the real truth, getting to the root of this.
**********
With this new revelation, I had to speak to Mam’Gwevu, I saw her around. I looked for her, I
couldn’t find her – how can I? There are hundreds of people, I thought to myself, maybe she
went home. I decided to drive to Mam’Gwevu’s house, when I got to her, I knocked and nobody
answered. Her neighbour told me that she went to the ceremony hosted by the king, I didn’t see
her there. My impatience was growing, maybe if I come in the evening, she will be home.

I went straight home. No one was in the house but the door was wide open, such selfishness. I
saw my mom’s bag, I instantly knew she’s the one that left the door wide open. Maybe she was
in the toilet, I went to check her and she wasn’t there. Or maybe she went to visit a friend or
she’s at her mother’s house. The pastor knocked on the door, it’s been a while since I saw him.
His beard covered his face, he looked different.
“Good afternoon Nosipho”, he said with a deep voice.
“Good afternoon pastor”, I wasn’t expecting him – he caught me off guard. “Take a seat”, I said.
My mother didn’t bake anything, I know how the pastor loves my mom’s baking.
“Mom didn’t bake anything, it’s been a while since she baked”, I said.
“Oh my child, your mom is a good baker but it’s fine. I already ate”, he said.
“Can I get your some tea or coffee?”, I asked.
“I’m fine my child. My stomach is full, eating while full is a sin. No thanks my child”, he said.
I thought to myself, does everything have to be a sin?
“Mom isn’t home”, I said.
“I can see that. People are talking out there, they say there was a funeral in this house. That’s
bizarre”, he said.
“People should just mind their own business”, I said.
“No, people are worried. What is happening in this household? People are fighting, there are
funerals happening and your parents don’t barely go to church anymore”, he said.
“Whatever is happening here doesn’t concern anyone but the people living here”, I said.
“I am worried about you and your family. What is going on?”, he asked.
“You’re here now, do you see anything odd? Definitely not”, I said.
“This family needs prayer my child. This house need prayer. This house is tense”, he said.
“As you can see my parents are not home. Nice seeing you, I’ll tell them that you came to visit”,
I said.
“I’ll come back later”, he left.

People should just mind their business.

After the pastor left, I went to MaKhumalo’s house. I knocked for a while, nobody answered.
Something told me to just open the door, when I opened the door, it looked like someone broke
in. Things were messy, I opened MaKhumalo’s bedroom and it was half empty, I heard a noise
coming from the other room. “MaKhumalo? Is that you?”, I asked.
“Nosipho”, my mom called. She came out of the room.
“What are you doing here?”, I asked.
“Where did MaKhumalo say she was going?”, she asked.
“I don’t know”, I said.
“Don’t lie”, she said.
“‘I’m not lying, I’m telling the truth. I don’t know, she didn’t mention anything to me”, I said.
Another woman entered the house, she introduced herself as Nontandathu.
“Can I help you”, asked Nontandathu.
“We’re looking for MaKhumalo”, my mom said.
“MaKhumalo is away, she didn’t say when she’ll be back”, said Nontandathu.
“She’s away?”, asked mom.
“She went to Durban to train would-be sangomas”, said Nontandathu.
“Okay”, my mom was disappointed.
“Do you have her phone number?”, I asked.
“Yes”, replied Nontandathu.
“Please give me her phone number”, I said.
Nontandathu took out her phone and she gave me MaKhumalo’s phone numbers.
“Are you related to MaKhumalo?”, mom asked.
“Yes, I’m her niece”, replied Nontandathu.

I left my mom with Nontandathu, I went home. When I got home I saw King Pin and Linda, they
were kissing.
“Where are the shack keys?”, asked King Pin.
I gave him the keys – they were next to a the tv.
“Thank you, I didn’t see them”, he went out of the house with Linda. They were holding hands.

In the evening I decided to visit Mam’Gwevu. Luckily she was home. I knocked and she opened
the door.
“Young lady, how may I help her?”, she asked.
“Good evening Mam’Gwevu. I’m here because I need your help that’s all”, I said.
“You need my help?”, she asked.
“Yes, I would like to ask you a few questions”, I said.
“Young lady, if this is about my child, we already had this talk”, she said.
“No, no, it’s not about your child. It’s about my family”, I said.
She shook her head.
“Please, I need your help. I would like to ask you a few questions”, I said.
“Where do I come in?”, she asked.
“I heard that you were very close with my family back in the days”, I said.
“Nosipho, young lady, that was back then”
“It doesn’t matter”
“What do you want to know?”
“The curse”
“You’re too young to know about that”
“I’m old enough, please I need to know”
“Why? That’s something that happened years ago”
“Mam’Gwevu – I need to know because I want to help my family”
“What do you need to know?”
“Everything, the curse, just everything”
“Are you ready for the truth?”
“Yes”
“Okay”

At last, I was going to know the real truth, getting to the root of this.
**********
Mam’Gwevu offered me a cup of tea but I kindly turned down the offer.
“Your great grandmother wasn’t evil but people made her become another person”, said
Mam’Gwevu.
“She was involved in a lot of witchcraft scandals”, I said.
“She never killed anyone”, added Mam’Gwevu.
“But still witchcraft is not a good thing”, I said.
“She was a good person, you never had the chance to sit down with her and talk to her. She
was a good person, she did the best for her children and grandchildren. You can’t judge her,
you don’t know her”, said Mam’Gwevu.
“I’m not judging her”, I said.
“Clearly the curse went too far. Who could have imagined that her granddaughter’s daughter
would be haunted by an evil force?”, Mam’Gwevu shook her head.
“That means Nokwanda was the way she was because of the curse?”, I asked.
“Yes”, replied Mam’Gwevu.
“Why did MaDlamini desert her child when she clearly knew that she was cursed and it was not
her fault?”, I asked.
“I don’t know”, shrugged Mam’Gwevu.
“What about my mom?”, I asked.
“Your mom once experienced what you went through before she got married”, said
Mam’Gwevu.
“I didn’t know that”, I was shocked.
“I thought everything was going great after your mom’s family did a ceremony. You don’t
deserve to go through whatever you’re going through”, said Mam’Gwevu.
“I’m cured now, MaKhumalo helped me”, I said.
After mentioning MaKhumalo’s name, I saw Mam’Gwevu’s face changing.
“Did I say something that offended you?”, I asked.
“No”, she replied.
I thought Mam’Gwevu was the key to all the unknown but she’s hiding something from me. I
knew she wasn’t going to tell me the truth, she’s just telling me what she thinks I need to know. I
don’t want to know about how good my great grandmother was, I want to know about the curse
and why it occurred. I was disappointed in Mam’Gwevu, she wasn’t open enough. Funny
enough, she was open about telling her story about sacrificing her daughter.
I thanked Mam’Gwevu for talking to me although I didn’t get much out of it all. I drove home.
Lwazi and my dad were watching tv, there was awkward silence. My dad and Lwazi’s
relationship is broken, Lwazi is becoming a troublemaker. Ever since he became a man, he
thinks no one should tell him to do anything. He’s also in bad terms with King Pin. He’s a bad
boy now, he’s surprisingly arrogant compared to his calm, down-to-earth nature.

Mom rushed in the house.

“Where is he?”, she asked.
“Who?”, I asked.
“That stupid Thando boy!”, she said angrily.
“What did he do?”, I asked.
“He’s in the shack”, Lwazi barged in.
Mom angrily went to the shack, I followed him, Lwazi too.
I was confused, I wonder what King Pin said to make my mother angry.

Mom banged the door like a crazy person. King Pin didn’t open the door.
“Open this door!”, she yelled.
She banged the door.
“Thando open this door before I kick it open”, said mom.
“Just open the door man”, said Lwazi.
My mom kicked the door, Lwazi also helped her. Finally, they kicked the door open. King Pin
and Linda were under the covers, King Pin was shirtless, Linda was only wearing her bra.
“What’s going on?”, asked Linda.
Mom grabbed the blanket and threw it on the floor. Linda and King Pin were totally nude, Linda
was embarrassed. She shyly wrapped the blanket around her waist and she wore her panty
whilst the blanket was around her waist. King Pin sat up on the bed and he covered his privates
with his hands.
“In my yard? My shack? How could you use my shack as a sex room?”, mom was furious.
The neighbours were looking, they gathered in small groups. I quickly went to my room, I got a
blanket and I rushed to the shack and I gave it to King Pin to cover himself.
“Why did you kick the door?”, asked King Pin.
“You should leave this house now, I don’t want to see your face here ever again. You repeatedly
stab me in the back, how could you paint me black to the king and the queen? They told me
everything”, said mom.
“I meant every word I said”, said King Pin.
“If you don’t leave right now, I’m going to kill you with my own hands!”, mom was furious.
King Pin went out of the shack and straight to the house. Linda still had the blanket wrapped
around her waist. Mom angrily followed King Pin.
“It was happening in this shack, hey. I can smell vagina and sweaty balls”, Lwazi laughed.
“Are you happy now?”, I asked Linda.
“This is not my fault”, she said.
“Leave before my mom comes back and humiliate you. There’s already an audience outside,
good luck”, I said.
“I’ll call Bandile, he’ll fetch me”, she said.
“Are you too embarrassed to show your face to the audience outside or you’re too embarrassed
to walk the walk of shame or maybe both?”, I asked.
“How the hell did you fall for an ass like Thando? You’re too pretty to mess around with that
pathetic, selfish, arrogant, abusive shit. Play far from him”, said Lwazi.
“If I needed relationship advice I would watch Dr Phil”, said Linda.
“I warned you”, Lwazi left.
“You can’t stay away from drama I see”, I left the shack.

Mom and dad were arguing.

“He’s not going anywhere!”, my dad shouted.
“You only met him months ago, you don’t even know him! People look alike, how sure are you
that he’s your nephew? We don’t need him, he’s constantly making my life a living hell”, said
mom.
“I never made your life a living hell. You don’t like me, that’s all. You hate the fact that you can’t
control me like you control everyone living here, I’m sorry uncle but it’s true. I can’t dance to
your guitar, I will never dance to your guitar. You hate me because I know your other side, your
bad side. I was happy to have met my father’s family, I was genuinely happy. I spent twenty
eight years wondering who I really am. My mother didn’t want to tell me anything about my
father, where he lived, what his name was, she only told me that my dad was xhosa. I never
imagined this, for some weeks now I have been thinking about changing my surname to
Ndamase but I don’t even want to change my surname anymore. This surname has been
tossed in dirt a couple of times, I’d rather be a Dlomo. Wherever my dad’s spirit is right now, I’m
sorry dad – I can’t do it. I’m sorry uncle, I’m really sorry but I can’t change my surname. I don’t
want to be in a house knowing that someone doesn’t want me there. If she wants me to leave
and never come back, I can”, King Pin said with tears in his eyes.
I’ve never seen King Pin this emotional, he made me cry. Lwazi was looking down.
“Son, you’re always welcome in this home”, my dad said.
“Your wife hates me”, said King Pin.
“She’s going through a lot right now”, said dad.
My mom left the house.
“It’s dark outside, you can’t drive anywhere”, said dad.
“Dad is right, you can’t drive. It’s really dangerous, more dangerous knowing there’s a wild beast
on the loose and tokoloshes”, I said.
“Don’t be a dick head man, don’t drive”, said Lwazi.
“Okay”, smiled King Pin.
“I’m sorry for what happened earlier on, I don’t know – I have mixed feelings about you man, I
don’t want to lie. I don’t really hate you, although I’ve said that for a number of times now. I’m
sorry, I guess I’ll be that annoying young cousin brother”, said Lwazi.
“Apology accepted, I’m sorry too”, said King Pin.
Lwazi and King Pin shook hands and gave each other cold hugs, yes, cold hugs.

We heard a car outside, it was Bandile. Linda quickly got inside the car. Bandile drove away.
Mom didn’t return, we ate supper without her.
**********
After supper, my dad and Lwazi went to sleep. King Pin was watching tv, I was washing the
dishes. As I was washing the dishes, I saw a shadow walking pass outside. I thought it was my
mom, I didn’t care. After a few minutes, I thought to myself, why doesn’t she come in? I saw her
walking pass. After I was finish washing the dishes, I went to the sitting room, King Pin was
sleeping and the tv was on. I heard the beast breathing heavily. I was scared, I woke King Pin
but he didn’t wake up. I shook him as hard as I can, he opened his eyes and closed them again.
I was mad at him now, I didn’t want to look out of the window. I sat on the sofa, I was really
scared. I closed my eyes, hoping when I open my eyes everything will be alright. I opened my
eyes and I didn’t hear the scary beast. My scar started to hurt again, the pain was better than
before but it still hurts. I received a phone call from Mongezi:
“Hello Nosipho, please come to MaDlamini’s house as soon as possible”, Mongezi was
breathless.
“What’s going on? Is everything alright?”, I was worried.
“No, MaDlamini collapsed, she’s not responding”, Mongezi was shaking.
I could hear Babalwa and Amandla in the background crying.
“Ok, I’ll be there”, I said.
“Please hurry”, said Mongezi.

I heard the scary beast outside, I was scared. I won’t go outside, I don’t want to be killed by that
scary beast. King Pin didn’t want to wake up. I remembered that handkerchief MaKhumalo gave
me at the ceremony. I already changed to my night dress, I went to look for the handkerchief in
that pair of jeans I wore earlier. I dug on the pockets, I saw the handkerchief, it was tightly tied. I
sat on my bed and I untied the handkerchief. It required a lot of power, I sweated trying to untie
it. Finally, when I untied the handkerchief, I saw a letter and white powder in a small packet. I
read the letter:
“I always preach about being brave and facing the music but I’m not living up to my words.
Writing you this letter is more comfortable than telling you face to face. I have been disloyal to
you and you deserve to know the truth. When I cut your arm and joined it with your mom’s
bloody scar, I was transferring all your dirty blood to your mother. Your mother knew about it,
she made me keep it a secret. You were going to turn out like Nokwanda but your mom
sacrificed herself. Now that you are alright, your mother is not okay. I told you to open your eyes
but you were too blind. Your mother is slowly turning into a monster, she needs your help. She’s
losing herself, she’s overwhelmed by an evil force. The powder is to protect you from every
single evil force. Rub your face, chest, arms and stomach with the powder. I’m leaving this place
for a while, I’ll be back at a later stage. Take care of yourself”

I was shocked, tears rushed down my face. My mother went through all that trouble for me? I
couldn’t believe it. I received another phone call from Mongezi.

“Nosipho where are you?”, asked Mongezi.

“I’m on my way”, I lied.
“Please hurry up”, he said.
“I’m on my way, okay? I’ll be there soon”, I said.

I rubbed my face, chest, arms and stomach with the powder. I opened the door, I was scared – I
closed the door and I ran to my car and I drove away. I quickly drove to my grandmother’s
house.
When I got there, my grandmother was laying on the bed. Mongezi was holding MaDlamini’s
hand.
“Thanks God you’re here”, said Mongezi.
“What happened?”, I asked.
“She collapsed, I don’t know what went wrong. Maybe dehydration – I don’t know”, said
Mongezi.
“You said she wasn’t responding?”, I asked.
“Yes, I was out of my mind, I told the girls to lock themselves in their rooms. They were crying, I
don’t want them to see her suffer”, said Mongezi.
I shook my grandmother.
“Wake up”, I said softly.
My grandmother opened her eyes, she got a fright, she looked around.
“You said she just collapsed?”, I asked Mongezi.
“Yes, I don’t know – it all happened so fast. I was bringing the chickens inside, since there are
tokoloshes on the loose, when I came in, she collapsed”, said Mongezi.
I held MaDlamini’s hand.
“I need to speak to you – alone”, said MaDlamini.
Mongezi went out of the room.
“Are you fine grandmother? What happened?”, I was worried.
“My child, I didn’t give birth to that monster. She was here earlier, her eyes were ugly, almost
like a wild animal. She pushed me, I fell and I was unconscious”, said MaDlamini.
“You’re talking about my mom, right? Is she responsible for that huge scar on your arm?”, I
asked.
“You’re the only person who can stop this madness. She’s out of line”, said MaDlamini.
“How can I stop my mom? I don’t know if I should call her my mom because she’s a beast. Yes!
Beast! It all makes sense now”, I said.
“What are you talking about Nosipho?”
“My mother is the beast that has been parading our yard at night”
“Beast?”
“Yes, beast. I should call MaKhumalo”
“Wait! Don’t call her. We should solve this on our own”
 “No we can’t MaDlamini, we need MaKhumalo’s help! You’re too old to be involve in this kind of
stuff, you know what happened the last time. You’ve been through a lot, please rest”
“Nobesuthu is my child, I need to help her. She needs me more than ever and no one can stop
me from doing what’s right for my child”
“Grandma – easy”
“No, Nosipho – I owe this to my child. I never had the chance to do the same for my mother – ”
“I guess there’s nothing I can do”
“We don’t need MaKhumalo’s help”
“She’s good at what she does”
“Nosipho I said we don’t need her. Don’t call her or visit her”
“But – ”
“There are not buts Nosipho. We don’t need her, okay?”
“Alright, just rest. Tomorrow I can take you to the doctor to check your scar”
“No, no, no, no, no – ”
“Grandma that scar is an open scar, it might get infected. You’ll get sick”
“No”
“Okay, you’re very stubborn. I’m going right now”
“Be safe”
“Okay, get well soon – see you tomorrow morning”
“Goodnight Nosipho”
“Goodnight”

I left my grandmother’s house and I drove home.

When I got home, my mother was watching tv. King Pin was sleeping on the sofa. My mother
didn’t even turn her head, the thought of what my mother was turning into gave me a fright.
“Did you eat?”, I asked mom.
She didn’t answer me.
“Mom? Are you okay?”, I asked.
She didn’t answer me. I stood in front of her, she looked me in the eye. We looked each other
in the eye.
“I’ve went through a lot for you. At least what you can do for me is just meet me half way”, she
said.
“Is this about the prince?”, I asked.
“You embarrassed this family enough, you made me look bad in front of all these people. Do
you know that these people don’t like you? They talk bad things behind your back but I clean
after you. I make it my duty to wipe your name, make it clean. I don’t get much credit, you don’t
give me much credit. You think I’m doing all these things for myself but I’m trying my best to
give you the life you deserve”, my mom said.
“I thank you for everything you done for me mom. I know I don’t give you much credit but I’m
grateful to have you. Sometimes I wish you can let me live my own life. You don’t have to make
every decision for me, I’m no longer a little girl. I want the best for me”, I said.
“When you were young, you always wore pink clothes. You called yourself a ‘princess’, your dad
called you ‘princess’. I also called you ‘princess’, you were destined to be a princess. You
messed up that opportunity”, said mom.
“You made me someone I was not. You lied to people, I wasn’t comfortable living a lie. You
don’t understand, you will never understand. You spent your life lying, manipulating and
persuading people”, I said.
“You will never understand”, my mom went to her bedroom. She left me hanging. King Pin
opened her eyes and smiled.
“Welcome back”, he said.
“I thought you were sleeping”, I said.
“I was until I heard you and your mom talking, yes I heard everything”, King Pin smiled.
“I needed to talk to her”, I said.
“You deserve a smooch, if I wasn’t your cousin I would have gave you a kiss”, King Pin licked
his lips.
I laughed.
“You’re crazy”, I said.
“I’m glad you came to your senses”, he smiled.
His phone received a text message. He looked at his phone.
“Linda?”, I asked.
“Yes”, he replied.
“I guess she’s addicted now, it won’t just be ‘having fun’ for long”, I said.
“I don’t blame her, I’m a chick magnet”, he said arrogantly.
I shook my head.
“You also was once addicted, remember?”, he was being super arrogant.
“I don’t know how that came in, I was talking about Linda not Nosipho”, I said.
“I know, I was just saying. I’m sorry if I disturbed some wounds”, he said.
“Wounds? Now you’re being too full of yourself. I’m over you, I’m not heartbroken anymore.
Thank you to you for helping me get over you. Your jerk tendencies helped me a lot, thank you”,
I said.
“You’re welcome”, he faked a smile.
“I’m going to bed now, goodnight. You can close your eyes because I don’t want you to watch
me leave”, I said.

King Pin stood up and he held me close to him.

“When did you grow such confidence?”, he asked.
“Leave me alone”, I said.
“Sorry”, he let go off me.
“Leaving you was one of the best things I did in my life”, I said.
“Don’t tell me you don’t get jealous when you see me talking to other girls, Linda and Foxy to be
precise”, he said.
“Oh shame, that’s why you’re too close to them all of a sudden? You’re trying to make me
jealous? I’m not jealous a bit. Grow up”, I said.
“My relations with Linda and Foxy are real and they’re not out of vengeance and stupidity. You
think I will go through all that trouble to make you jealous? Think again”, he said.
“Remind me how this conversation turned from you being proud of me to you proving your
innocence”, I said.
“Proving my innocence? I’m not proving my innocence. It was a good choice to turn you down”
“Turn me down?”
“Nosipho you wanted to carry this love thing, or whatever it was between us. Remember when
you were freaking out about Linda and Foxy? You were so in love with me, I was as you say,
your ‘first love’. Remember?”
“And you didn’t love me?”
“I did”
“So what are we debating about?”
“You tell me”
“King Pin – ha! I’m stuck with you for the rest of my life. You’re my cousin, your days of
tempting me and getting in my pants are long over”
“Hmm”
“Or are you not over me?”
“Me? I’ve been over you for a long time. You were the one that was crushing on me – ”
“Excuse you, you forgot how you used to beg me to kiss you or have sex with you?”
“I never begged you for anything”
“You have King Pin! Remember when I said we must stop what we were doing because we
were cousins and you said I shouldn’t care about what other people say?”
“I remember saying that but I didn’t beg you. Remember you ended up in my arms that day?
Sleeping half naked next to me? Remember?”
“I want to forget that, it was wrong”
“Wrong? You liked every moment, remember? ‘Don’t stop King Pin, yes, yes, don’t stop, I love
you King Pin’ you liked every moment of it Nosipho”
“Okay I did but that was then. Do you ever see me go gaga over you now? Do you see me get
jealous when you’re with Linda? No! I’m over you King Pin”
“Keep telling yourself that, I know the truth”
“Why does everything have to be about you? I don’t have any feelings for you! You’re my
cousin!”
“Why are you yelling? Do you want to wake your family up? Or you want to cause a scene like
your mother. I won’t be surprised if there’s a crowd outside, this family attracts unnecessary
drama”
“This family is your family too”
“I wish I wasn’t part of this family!”
“Leave! What’s stopping you King Pin?”
“I’m only sticking around for my dad”
“A man you never knew, yes stick around”
“What does that suppose to mean”
“Do you think he would even care if he was alive? Your dad was a womaniser, he made babies
everywhere he went. He ran away from his responsibilities. Don’t you ask yourself about your
siblings? Your dad didn’t care about his children, what makes you think he’s proud of you or if
he cares about you sticking around?”
“He cares”
“Oh? Did you receive an SMS from him telling you he cares?”
“Your dad told me stories about my dad. He was just like me, do you know why your dad loves
me? He says I am my father. Everything you see right here is my father. I might not have met
my father personally but what your dad told me, I feel like I knew him for a long time. You can
stand here and mock me and my dead father all you like, I don’t care. Call him a womaniser, call
him any name you want, I still love my father. I look in the mirror and I have a conversation with
him. I’m crazy, right? Sometimes I feel like I’m crazy for talking to myself whilst looking at the
mirror. The reason I do that is because I’m the closet image I have of my dad. Go ahead, make
fun of me Nosipho”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hit hard. I’m going through a lot right now, I’m sorry, okay? I have so
much on my shoulders, I’m a ticking time bomb ready to explode anytime. I apologise”
“I’m going to sleep right now and I’m going to wake up tomorrow and act like this never
happened”
“Just like that?”
“Goodnight, and yeah, don’t even talk about this tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay”
“Goodnight, now walk off. My eyes are closed for your information”
“Goodnight”

I went to sleep.
I don’t understand why that even happened. We’re both going through a lot, I think deep down
we got each other’s back although we don’t admit that much often like we used to. King Pin is
family and my dad loves him very much. I don’t want to fight with any family member, I want to
mend this family. I’m tired of being the laughing stock of this village. It’s time to make things
right, I need to help my mother before she harms our family.
I need to be brave for everyone involved.

Part 36: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

In the morning, my mom was in a good mood. She was singing as she cleaned the house. My
dad and King Pin were sitting outside, under the tree. Lwazi was still sleeping.
“Good morning Nosipho”, my mom was in a good mood.
“You woke up on the right side of the bed. Good morning”, I said.
“I’m feeling good”, she said.
“I can see that”, I smiled.
It was weird that she was all smiles today because last night we got into a heated argument. I
quickly went outside to make a phone call. I didn’t want anyone to hear my conversation so I
went to stand next to the shack. I phoned MaKhumalo:

“Hello MaKhumalo”, I greeted.

“Nosipho? How did you get my phone number?”, asked MaKhumalo.
“Nontandathu gave me your phone number. I read the letter”, I said.
“Oh”, she said.
“What does that mean now? My mom isn’t a bad person, right? If she was a bad selfish person,
she wouldn’t have done that for me”, I said.
“Your mom isn’t a bad person but she made bad decisions”, she said.
“I need your help”, I said.
“Nosipho, I gave you everything you needed. I’m in Durban right now and I’m very busy”, she
said.
“That white powder isn’t enough”, I said.
“That powder is one of my powerful remedies. Do as I stated on the letter”, she said.
“You can’t leave me hanging, you lied to me. The least you could do is guide me. Help me,
please”, I begged.
“I can’t hold your hand forever, it’s time to let go now. Nosipho you’re a very strong girl, you just
don’t believe in yourself. You can help your family”, she said.
“I asked you how I can help my family a million times but you keep giving me the same answer
all the time. You keep saying, I must open my eyes. My eyes are always open”, I said.
“Wake up young lady, every answer you have is in front of you”, she said.
“I’m not good at reading people and analysing things around me. Have your bones, uhm, shown
you anything?”, I asked.
“My bones show me you. You’re the answer to everything that’s happening. If you don’t help
your family soon, your family will fall apart. I will bless you and try my best to show you the light.
I’m busy but I will try and make a way. This is the hardest case I ever had to deal with”, she
said.
“Thank you very much MaKhumalo. I appreciate you wanting to help me again”, I said.
“I have to go before they see me talking on the phone”, she quickly dropped the phone.
“What’s the appropriate first step to take? Hello? MaKhumalo? Hello? Oh, damn it”, I didn’t
know she hung up.

I went pass King Pin and my dad, I caught King Pin looking at me – he didn’t look happy. I
figured it was because of the argument we had last night. I went to help my mother clean the
house, she was in a good mood.

After I finished cleaning the house, I went to wash myself, put on some fresh clothes and I
noticed that mom left. I asked my father, he said he saw her talking to the neighbour outside. I
didn’t see her outside, maybe she was inside the neighbour’s house. I decided to drive to
MaDlamini’s house. When I got there, MaDlamini was sitting on the couch, her arm was
wrapped in a bandage.
“Good morning MaDlamini and Mongezi”, I sat down.
“Good morning”, Mongezi smiled.
“Good morning my child, you came at the right time. MaDuna is on her way”, said MaDlamini.
I looked at Mongezi, he excused himself – he went to work in the garden.
“MaDlamini, you know MaDuna is not experienced in these sort of cases, she’s clueless. I
thought you didn’t want any third parties involved”, I said. “MaDuna is like family, she was in
Swaziland practicing and being better at her craft”, said MaDlamini.
“MaKhumalo knows what she’s doing, she helped me before”, I said.
“By transferring your bad blood to my daughter! That’s cheating, she doesn’t deserve to be
called a traditional healer, she’s a cheater”, said MaDlamini.
“She made a few mistakes, but let’s look past that, she’s very good at what she does”
“Nosipho, I don’t want to argue with you. If you don’t want to help your mother, leave right now”
“You know I do but I don’t trust MaDuna”
“You need to trust her, she’ll heal your mother”
“MaDlamini I don’t understand. Why can’t we just do this as a family, stick to your original plan.
Me, you and mom”
“You are a child, I am an adult so I make the decisions. Nobesuthu is my child and I know
what’s best for my child”
“She’s my mother and I also know what’s best for her”

MaDuna came in, she had a straw mat and a huge plastic bag with things inside.
“Good morning everyone, Nosipho help me with these”, she gave me the huge plastic bag.
I went to put the plastic bag in MaDlamini’s bedroom.
“Did I come in at a bad time? I can feel the atmosphere is tense here”, said MaDuna.
“No, not at all”, lied MaDlamini.
“Where’s Nobesuthu?”, she asked.
MaDlamini looked at me, I shrugged.
“Where did you sleep?”, asked MaDuna.
“At home”, I replied.
“How come you don’t know where your mom is?”, she asked.
“I don’t know, I don’t know where she went. She was talking to the neighbour one minute then
the next she was gone”, I said.
MaDuna nodded her head.
“Nosipho you can phone home and ask Lwazi to look for her and tell her to come here”, said
MaDlamini.
“She’ll want to know why she’s coming here”, I said.
“Make something up, tell her I’m sick”, said MaDlamini.

I phoned home.
**********
King Pin answered the phone.

“Uhm, is Lwazi awake?”, I asked him.

“Uh – no, why?”, he asked.
“I wanted him to look for mom, she needs to get here ASAP”, I said.
“Oh, is anything wrong?”, he asked.
“Uhm…Ye-no, no”, I bit my upper lip.
“Your mom…she went to the king’s house. The neighbour told your dad, now he went to look for
her there. I’m just guiding the house”, he said.
“What? Is she crazy?!”, I hung up the phone.

“What’s wrong Nosipho?”, asked MaDlamini.

“I have to go, I might or might not come back”, I rushed.
“What’s going on? Is your mother okay?”, MaDlamini was worried.
I tried to calm down, faked a smile and said, “She’s fine, I have to go somewhere”, I left.

I quickly drove to the king’s compound, on my way there I kept swearing! How stupid of her!
When I got to the king’s compound, my mom was causing a scene. My dad couldn’t control her
anymore.

“The mighty king, you think you’re better than everyone? Just remember how you got that
crown, you swine!”, my mom yelled.
She was drunk, my mother never touched alcohol for years.
“We must go mom”, I held her hand.
“Leave me alone Nosipho! Do you want me to beat you up? Can’t you see I’m having a
conversation with the mighty king? The king, king, king”, said mom.
“Nobesuthu let’s go home”, my dad said calmly.
“Get you wife out of my compound before I have her escorted by my men”, ordered the king.
“Where’s your pathetic son? Where is Mvuyisi? Mvuyisi! Mvuyisi! Where is he?”, mom was
drunk.
“Mom let’s go home, please. This is embarrassing”, I said.
“You are an embarrassment!”, mom yelled.
Mvuyisi came out of the house.
“Ah, I should have known. What is this drunkard doing in this compound? I told you, I don’t want
to see you and your pathetic family in this yard”, said Mvuyisi.
“Watch your mouth”, dad warned.
“This family is too good to be seen with your family. Your family are nothing but low life people
who think getting their daughter married to the royals will vanish their ugly secrets and fill their
empty pockets with gold”, Mvuyisi said to my mom.
My dad is a very chilled guy but when he retaliates, it won’t be nice.
“Hey stupid boy, I warned you. If you open that stinky mouth of yours, I will something your dad
hasn’t done in a long time”, said dad.
“Your wife sold me dreams. She wanted me to marry her daughter, knowing that she isn’t a
virgin. Dad, she passed the last virginity testing but she wasn’t a virgin”, said Mvuyisi.
“What? Are you people making a mockery out of the system of virginity testing? Huh? What’s
wrong with you people? Nobesuthu leave NOW!”, the king went inside the house.
“Bitch”, Mvuyisi said to me, he then went inside the house.
I wanted to punch him but I just looked at him. I helped my dad put my mom in the car. He
looked angry, my mother was laughing – she was drunk. I drove home.

When I got home, Lwazi was polishing his shoes outside. He dropped his shoes when he saw
mom very drunk, he went to help mom. We all helped her get inside the house. King Pin was
confused and amazed at the same time, he didn’t help her. When my sat on the couch, Lwazi
took off her shoes.
“What happened to her? Mom, why did you do such a thing? Was she at Bra Xola’s Place?”,
asked Lwazi.
“No, she was at the king’s compound. Everyone is banned from ever entering the compound”, I
said.
Lwazi looked sad, he went to resume polishing his shoes outside. King Pin looked at me and
he shook his head. I noticed dad wasn’t in sight, I don’t know where he disappeared to.

Suddenly dad came out of his bedroom with a belt, he charged at mom and he kept beating her.
We were all too stunned to even stop him, he was fire, very angry. We were afraid that he was
going to beat us also if we interfered. Lwazi heard the loud screams, he rushed inside the
house. We all watched, I couldn’t take it anymore, I went out of the house. All I could hear was
mom getting beaten, my dad was angry. He bottled up all his anger, he exploded. After the
screams were over, I could hear my dad saying.
“Leave my house! Go to your mom’s house, there’s only one man in this house. You can’t
control me, leave my house Nobesuthu. I’m tired of you, you’re too much”, he was angry.
“Cool down uncle, go outside and catch some air”, said King Pin.
Lwazi angrily rushed outside, he stood next to me.
“You saw what your dad did to my mom? I wish I can
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh
hh! I’m angry”, Lwazi threw his shoes.
“You’re going to tear your shoes, it’s not use getting angry. What’s done is done”, I said.
“How can you be cool about that bullshit? How can you be
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!”, Lwazi was shaking with anger.
King Pin went outside.
“Keep the noise down”, he said to Lwazi.
“Don’t tell me what to do, you’re not the boss of me! You both don’t care about this. I’m not
surprised, Thando you’re used to beating women and Nosipho is used to being a punching bag!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! No one beats my mom like that and gets away with it”, said Lwazi.
King Pin giggled, “Hulk, keep the noise down before you attract unnecessary company from
these neighbours”, he said.
Lwazi punched the window and he broke it.
“Are you mad, boy? Are you fucking mad? You’re going to answer that to your dad”, said King
Pin.
“Calm down Lwazi”, I said.
Villagers that were working outside were looking. Those who heard the glass break, went
outside to look.
“Congratulations, you have an audience”, King Pin went inside.
 My dad went out, he saw the hole in the window and he went inside the house again without
saying a word. Lwazi was bleeding.
“Let me see”, I said.
“Don’t touch me”, he walked away.
I watched him walk out the gate. I thought to myself, this family is doomed.

My mom packed her clothes, I helped her pack. When she was done, I drove her to MaDlamini’s
house.

When we arrived, MaDlamini went out of the house.

“You found her, finally we were waiting for hours”, she said.
My mom didn’t greet MaDlamini, she just went inside.
“She’s drunk?”, asked MaDlamini.
“She’s better than she was when we found her. She’s staying here for a couple of days until she
mends things between her and my dad”, I said.
“They separated?”, asked MaDlamini.
“They need to sort themselves out. I think MaDuna can go home, mom needs to take a long
rest”, I said.
MaDlamini nodded her head.
We went inside.
MaDlamini told MaDuna to come back tomorrow morning, MaDuna left. Mom went straight to
sleep, I drove home.
Dramatic day.
**********
When I got home, I went straight to the dam. I needed to get away from everything. When I got
to the dam, I saw Bandile practicing stick fighting from the far end of the dam, it had to be him –
I know him too well. I sat on the grass and I thought about everything. I reflected on everything
that has happened, I kept asking, why me? The only thing that cheers me up are text messages
from Mbali telling me about her “future” husband. She has been seeing this guy for the past
weeks, she says the guy is a very nice guy. Well, she says that to every guy she starts dating. I
imagined her saying everything she texted me, face-to-face, I smiled.
“Can I guess why you’re smiling?”, asked Bandile.
He was shirtless, he had his fighting sticks in hand, he smelt like a “man”.
“Oh, where’s my manners? Good afternoon”, he said.
I acknowledged by nodding.
“So why are you all smiles? I guess everything is going fine, you found all the answers you
wanted”, he said.
“It’s not that easy, Bandile”, I said.
“Oh? Why were you smiling?”, he asked.
“Such curiosity, oh my goodness”, I smiled.
“New boyfriend?”, he asked.
“Give up”, I said.
“No, so are you going to tell me?”, he was so curious.
“I’m just thinking about a friend, that’s all”, I said.
“And I’m Michael Jackson’s son”, he said.
“Really, I’m not lying. I miss my friend, I miss Mbali”, I said.
“Hmm”, he said.
“Really!”, I justified.
“Don’t worry, I’m just fooling around”, he laughed.

There was silence, we both watched the sun’s reflection on the water.
“Remember when we used to get into trouble for swimming in this dam?”, he laughed.
I smiled, “Yes”.
“That day we were asked to fetch water, instead we swam until noon. That old man chased us,
so we ran home without the buckets. We lied to mom and dad, I mean your parents and said the
old guys from the South took our buckets and ran away. I remember your dad getting pissed”,
laughed Bandile.
“Mom kept asking, ‘Wilfred, can you see how ashy these kids are?’ Every time she said that, we
looked at each other”, I laughed.
“Remember that day when we said we were going to visit MaDlamini, instead we went to this
dam? We swam for a good hour or so, suddenly we saw Mongezi riding a bike, we held our
breath underwater, we didn’t want him to see us”, he laughed.
“Memories, I remember everything like it was yesterday. We were really naughty children.
Remember when you accidentally knocked Bra Mveli’s vodka and it all spill. Then you poured
water and quickly mopped the floor. Bra Thami passed out outside, you placed the bottle next to
him. When Bra Mveli came back, he saw his bottle of vodka next to Bra Thami, he was puzzled.
He drank it and it was water, he woke Bra Thami up, saying, ‘stop pretending to sleep’. Bra
Mveli accused Bra Thami of drinking his vodka and replacing it with water, we couldn’t stop
laughing. The next day they were ganging up on my dad about soccer”, I laughed.
We laughed so hard, my stomach hurt from laughing.

“Come back”, I said.

“What?”, he asked.
“Come back, come live with us”, I said.
“No, I can’t”, he said.
“My dad will welcome you back if you apologise”, I said.
“No”, he said.
“Do you hate the apologising part?”, I asked.
“No, I’m ashamed of myself. Going back to that house will be a reminder of the bad person I
was”, he said.
“Come on, you’re not bad”, I said.
“Go ahead soften the blow”, he smiled.
“Really, you’re not a bad person. I don’t blame you for the person you were, this place will make
one go crazy”, I said.
“If I’m not a bad person why did I…I…I force myself against you?”, he asked.
I kept quiet.
“I have nightmares of that day, that moment. What kind of a good person presses her sister on
the bed and demands sex? I’m a rapist”, he frowned.
“Rapist? You didn’t rape me, I knew you were not going to do anything to me. It was in the heat
of the moment, I won’t lie, there was something sexy about the way your strong hands came
onto me. You were being a bad boy, and that turned me on – a bit”, I looked away.
“What’s your fascination with bad boys?”, he asked surprisingly.
“Bad boys are exciting and daring”, I responded.
Bandile kept quiet.
“I’m sorry for everything I ever did to you”, I apologised.
He smiled, “Me too”.
I looked down.
“If you say bad boys excite you, did King Pin really excite you? I mean, how?”, he asked.
“King Pin was the master and I was the slave. He had me wrapped around his pinky finger, at
least he thought so. Well, King Pin was not a good master, he was vulnerable. I fed off his
vulnerability, I was his ego. He did what masters shouldn’t do, show weakness”, I smiled.
“That excites you? You’re weird”, said Bandile.
“It’s all a game and games excite me”, I said.
“Oh, so what was King Pin’s vulnerability that you fed off?”, he asked.
“Love”, I responded.
Bandile laughed, “And what weakness did he show?”, he asked.
“Me”, I responded.
“Remind me to never play games with you”, said Bandile.
“I’m the queen of mind chess”, I said.
“But you fell in love with your, as you call it, ‘master’. Was that also part of the game?”, he
asked.
“It was meant to be. Don’t think I’m like that with all guys”, I said.
“Noted, I know, only ‘bad boys’, I know”, he nodded.
“How’s…your sister?”, I asked.
“She’s traumatised”, he joked.
“Come on, she loves attention – she got an audience that day”, I said.
“She deserves better than that King Pin dude who’s a player. I’m happy that whatever was
happening between them is over”, he said.
“Over?”, I was surprised.
“Didn’t your precious cousin tell you? I thought you guys were tight”, said Bandile.
“We’re not as tight as we used to, we annoy each other. We have arguments, we’re cousins – I
mean, hey, I’m happy”, I said.
“I’m glad you’re happy”, he said.
“Have supper at our house”, I said.
“Ah, Nosipho, no. I don’t want to go back to that house, fetching Linda was bad enough”, he
said.
“Come on, sometimes it’s good to remember what kind of person you were to realise how much
you’ve grown as a person”, I said.
“True but I don’t want to go back there. I’m ashamed of myself”, he said.
“Come on, you didn’t rape me, you did nothing wrong”, I said.
“You know why I held the knife?”, he asked.
“I don’t care, let’s not talk about something that”, I said.
“It’s better that I don’t come to your father’s house. And please, don’t beg. Please, thank you for
the offer”, he smiled.
I felt pain coming from my scar.
“Ouch”, I closed my eyes.
Bandile looked away – he looked at me again, “Are you okay?”, he asked.
The pain disappeared.
“Now I’m fine”, I said.
He stood up. “I have to get somewhere”, he said.
“Okay, it was good talking to you”, I said.
“I had a great time, thanks”, he smiled.
I watched him walk away. I feel much better, I needed that. I received a phone call from
MaKhumalo.
**********
I received a phone call from MaKhumalo.

“Hello, MaKhumalo. Nice hearing from you, do you have anything for me?”, I asked.
“I can’t talk for much longer, I’m hiding in the bush, I just burnt my sage and I asked for the
ancestors to guide you”, she said.
“Minutes ago, I felt a sharp pain coming from my scar”, I said.
“That’s a warning, open your eyes”, she said.
“Okay”, I didn’t understand.
“I have to go before someone finds me here”, she hung up.
“I need to ask, what kind of warning? Hello? Hello? MaKhumalo? Arg, damn it! Again”, I said.
I tried calling MaKhumalo again but her phone was on voicemail. I went home.

King Pin and my dad were playing chess under the tree, I went inside the house and I searched
for Lwazi, he wasn’t home. I watched tv.

I cooked supper, King Pin and dad were sharing whiskey under the tree. Lwazi was home, his
right hand was wrapped in bandage, he was watching tv.
When supper was ready, everyone was inside. We locked the door, I dished for everyone.
There was silence, my dad broke the silence.
“Lwazi, tomorrow you have to fix that window”, said dad.
Lwazi didn’t respond.
“It can rain anytime soon”, said dad. “Do you hear me?”, he asked.
“Yes”, mumbled Lwazi.
“When is mom coming back?”, I asked. “This is not the right time to talk about your mom”, my
dad brushed off.
“Let’s just enjoy this delicious supper”, added King Pin.
I wanted to say something to King Pin but I decided it’s best to keep to myself.
“Where were you Nosipho? This afternoon, you left without saying a thing”, said dad.
“I decided to take a walk, cool off some nerves”, I said.
“Walk where to?”, asked dad.
“I was just taking a walk, roaming around the village”, I lied.
“Oh, okay”, my dad nodded.
King Pin smiled to himself.
“I have been thinking…if anything happens to me, I want Thandolwethu to take over – I want
him guide this family. This house will be Thandolwethu’s”, said dad.
Me and Lwazi looked at each other.
“What?”, I was shocked.
“What’s wrong? You didn’t hear what I said? Thandolwethu will be the head of house after I’m
gone”, he said.
“This is bullshit! Seriously, this guy just met this family five seconds ago and he’s already the
beneficiary of your assets? This is crazy”, Lwazi was angry. “How am I suppose to leave this
house to you? You’re immature, you go around impregnating girls, you break windows, you
drink alcohol, you’re too unstable for such responsibility Lwazi”, said dad.
“Does mom know about this?”, I asked. “This is my house, this house was my father’s house.
He gave this house to me and my brother, Wiseman. My brother is dead and Thandolwethu
rightfully deserves this house”, said dad.
“Thando has his big fancy house in Johannesburg, he has his own business. What makes you
think that he will leave everything to come and live in this house and this village?”, I asked dad.
“We talked about”, said dad.
“Oh, so this was already discussed?”, I asked.
King Pin was quiet the whole time.
“The reason isn’t because I’m immature, it’s because I’m not your son. That’s why leaving
everything to this thug over here”, Lwazi was angry.
“Okay, look, I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t, uncle came up to me and he told me this – he had a
dream about my father”, said King Pin.
Me and Lwazi laughed.
“That’s true, my father appeared in uncle’s dream. He told him to do what he’s saying right now.
I know my life is in Johannesburg but I’m happy that my dad accepts me as his son. That’s all
what I wanted, I don’t have any choice but to accept everything that’s given to me. Nosipho, I
told everything, you know my story and the fact that you’re acting a fool right now, pains me”,
said King Pin.
“I’m done with this!”, Lwazi went to his bedroom.
“You should understand my child, Nosipho”, said dad.
Lwazi came out of the bedroom.
“What must she understand? This guy doesn’t want to change his surname, we can’t be led by
a Dlomo, this is the Ndamase family!”, Lwazi yelled.
“Sit down or get out”, said King Pin.
“Fuck you!”, yelled Lwazi.
“Have respect, this man is older than you”, said dad.
“This guy doesn’t respect women, he beats women, he cheats on women, he has half naked
girls dancing on the pole in his club. Tell me, is that a good leader? Bullshit!”, Lwazi was angry.
“This is unnecessary”, King Pin was cool.
“Unnecessary? You once beat Nosipho until she was unconscious, you cheated on your
pregnant girl with Linda”, said Lwazi.
Dad looked at King Pin. Lwazi went out of the house. There was silence.
“Is it true?”, asked dad.
King Pin shrugged.
“Did you beat my daughter until she was unconscious?”, asked dad.
“I was stupid, I regret it”, replied King Pin.
“Your girlfriend is pregnant but you’re fooling around with that girl?”, asked dad.
“I don’t have a girlfriend”, replied King Pin.
“You don’t have a girlfriend? And that girl?”, asked dad.
“Uncle, we were just having fun”, replied King Pin.
“You’re playing games with girls? We don’t do that in this family, real men don’t do what you’re
doing”, said dad.
“You were beating your wife this afternoon, you were angry – I’m not judging you. I hope you
also understand and don’t judge me too”, said King Pin.
“Once you grow up and be my age, there’s much you can handle and cannot handle. What I did
was not right but at that moment it was right. I was talking about you playing games with girls,
we don’t do that in this family. Things are the way they are because the ancestors are angry”,
said dad.
“I apologise with all my heart. I’m sorry for putting my hands on your daughter, I already
apologised to Nosipho long time ago. It won’t happen again, I’ve grown after that, I was stupid
back then”, said King Pin.
“A true man apologises, I accept your apology. Your dad is with no doubt proud of you. Promise
me you will take care of this girl who’s carrying a Ndamase. Deep down you are a Ndamase, Mr
Dlomo”, said dad.
“I’ve been taking care of her”, said King Pin.
“Let me go wash the dishes”, I went to the kitchen.

Foxy is carrying a Ndamase? They’re not thinking of making that baby a Ndamase.
Yeses.
**********
I washed the dishes, I heard the front door opening, it was Lwazi. I sang to myself as I washed
the dishes. I heard footsteps, they stopped. I looked back, it was King Pin. He had his plate on
his hand, since I was washing the dishes, I took the plate. He was holding the plate with such
power that I couldn’t take the plate. I looked at him, I didn’t want to say anything. I thought, oh
maybe he’s fooling around. I took the plate, he was holding it tightly.
“Do you or do you not want me to wash that plate?”, I asked.
“What’s going on between you and Bandile?”, he asked.
“What? Nothing”, I responded.
“Really? Why did you lie to your dad?”, he asked.
“I didn’t lie, give me the plate”, I said.
He gave me the plate.
“You said to your dad you were roaming around the village”, he said.
“I was”, I said.
He laughed. “I’m not stupid”, he said.
“I didn’t say you were”, I said.
“Do you know why I’m saying you are lying?”, he asked.
“Why?”, I asked.
“Because I went to look for you”, he said.
I looked away.
“Nosipho, I knew I was going to find you there because you go there to cool off. I saw you and
Bandile laughing like school kids”, he said.
“I met him there”, I said.
“Did you send him an SMS or he sent you an SMS?”, he asked.
“No! I didn’t know I will find him there. He was practicing his stick fighting at the end of the dam.
He came over to me”, I said.
“Be careful”, warned King Pin.
“He’s not a monster, he’s a good guy”, I said.
“Oh? Are you guys writing love letters to each other now?”, he asked.
“Are you trying to be funny? I still consider him my brother”, I said.
“If you don’t stay away from him, I will tell your dad”, said King Pin.
“My dad won’t do anything. And I won’t stay away from him”, I said.
“You’re starting war now. You know that everything that’s happening right now is because of
him. If he decided to shut up and leave this place, everything would’ve been fine”, said King Pin.
“Fine? You think Bandile is the reason the family is the way they are? This family is cursed”, I
said.
“Ancestors are angry”, said King Pin.
“That’s not my problem. You don’t have a clue what’s happening in this family, do you?
Ancestors are not angry, this family is cursed”, I said.
“Just stay away from that troublemaker”, he said.
“Or else what? Dad won’t do anything to him”, I said.
“Your dad might not do anything but I will”, King Pin left.

King Pin should mind his own business. After I was done washing the dishes, I went to watch tv.
I sat next to Lwazi. We heard a knock on the door, my dad asked who it was, and it was the
pastor. Dad opened the door.
“Man of God, enter”, said dad.
“Ah Jola, good evening”, the pastor sat down.
“What brings you here at this time of the day?”, asked dad.
“Jola – ey, evening everyone, you see I forgot about you now? Good evening my children”,
laughed the pastor.
“Good evening”, we sang.
“You can carry on watching the tv, don’t mind me. Ey, Jola, I was sent here by Tshawe”, said
the pastor.
“Tshawe? Why?”, asked dad.
“Tshawe and his wife say they came here weeks ago to report their daughter’s pregnancy.
There hasn’t been any word or follow up from you”, said the pastor.
“Pastor, yes they came here weeks ago. They told me about their daughter, my son was not
here at that moment”, said dad.
“Okay, because they thought payment of damages would’ve been payed by now”, said the
pastor.
“I told my son about that, he said he had everything under control”, said dad.
“Ey, Jola, they don’t want to come across as being a pain in the back. They want to get pass
this, they asked me to ask you and your son to make a plan”, said the pastor.
“Do you hear that Lwazi?”, dad asked.
“Yes”, mumbled Lwazi.
“The best thing is for you and your son to meet up with Tshawe and his wife, apologise for being
quiet. Set the record straight for them”, said the pastor.
“I hear you pastor, I will go with my son tomorrow morning”, said dad.
“That’s good, Jola. Let me leave – where is Nobesuthu? She’s sleeping?”, asked the pastor.
“She’s at her mother’s house”, replied dad.
“Okay, she went to visit, okay. Ey, Jola, let me leave”, the pastor stood up.
“Let me show you the way”, dad stood up.
“This family is worrying me, I don’t see you in church anymore”, said the pastor.
My dad laughed nervously.
“Okay, good night Jola – good night children”, the pastor left.
Dad closed the door.

“Lwazi tomorrow we have to go to Tshawe’s house”, said dad.

“Where are we going to get the money?”, asked Lwazi.
“You said you had everything under control, I’m not paying a cent – I don’t have money”, said
dad.
“I will pay, I will make a plan”, said Lwazi.

My dad went to sleep, my brother was asleep and King Pin was sleeping in the shack. He
managed to fix the door. I was not sleepy, I was watching tv. After being up for close to an hour,
I went to sleep.
Tomorrow is a new day.

Part 37: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

In the morning, dad and Lwazi went to Tshawe’s house. I was getting ready to go to
MaDlamini’s house. King Pin stood on the doorway and he looked at me.
“Where are you going this morning?”, he asked.
“It’s none of your business”, I responded.
“Are you going for your meeting at the dam? Or maybe you changed your location? Huh?”,
asked King Pin.
“Why are you all of a sudden interested in whatever I get up to?”, I asked.
“I’m protecting you”, he replied.
I giggled, “I don’t need your protection”, I said.
“Stay away from Bandile, Nosipho”, he said.
“I won’t stay away from him, he never did anything wrong to me”, I responded.
“So it’s true, you’re going to meet up with the dude?”, he asked.
“No, I’m going to visit my mom”, I said. “I’m not stupid”, he said.
“Believe whatever you want to believe. I’m going to MaDlamini’s house, get out of my way”, I
said.
He got out of my way, when I was about to get out of the house, he said, “Just know I’m not a
fool”. I didn’t answer him, I got into my car and I drove away. I quickly called MaKhumalo but her
phone was on voicemail, I really wanted to talk to her. I drove to MaDlamini’s house.

When I got there, I saw MaDuna enjoying a cup of coffee with my mom and my grandmother.
“Good morning everyone”, I greeted.
“Good morning Nosipho”, they sang.
“We were waiting for you, I was about to call you but your mom said you were probably on your
way here”, said MaDlamini.
“When are we starting?”, I asked.
“You just entered, sit down and have a cup of coffee”, said MaDlamini.
“I want to get this over and done with”, I said.
“My child, relax, everything is going to be fine”, said mom.
“Nosipho, you don’t have to worry about a thing. Just trust me, I have anything under control.
Have a cup of coffee like your grandmother said”, said MaDuna.
I don’t trust MaDuna at all, the last time we came to her for help, she turned on someone else
for help. MaKhumalo is the only person who can help this family but only if she picks up her
damn phone.
I made myself a cup of coffee, Mongezi and the girls were in town. MaDuna, MaDlamini and my
mom were having a conversation instead of doing what she (MaDuna) was here for. That kind
of professionalism is questionable, if it were MaKhumalo, we would have been done by now.

One hour later.

We were about to start, I was angry that MaKhumalo didn’t pick up her phone. MaDuna went to
her hut earlier, she returned with small candles. MaDuna told mom to sit on the middle of the
straw mat, MaDuna lit the small candles and she placed them around the mat. Me and
MaDlamini kneeled outside the circle created by the candles. MaDuna closed the curtains, the
couches were moved to ensure space. MaDuna started burning the sage herb, she mumbled to
herself as she spread the smoke.
“Why are you looking tense?”, asked MaDlamini.
“I’m not tense”, I replied.
“Trust MaDuna, she has everything under control”, said MaDlamini.
“Let’s hope”, I said.
MaDlamini looked at me amazed. MaDuna started dancing and singing.
“We call upon the Dlamini ancestors to guide us, Dlamini, Zizi, Jama kaSjadu, Mabetshe,
Bhanise, Ngxib’inoboya, Fakade, khatsini, Mtikitiki, Nomana ndab’azithethwa intsuku
ngentsuku, Bhengu, Nonyathi we call upon you, help your child”, said MaDuna.

My phone rang. It was MaKhumalo.

“Switch that phone off, Nosipho”, said MaDlamini.
“It’s an important phone call”, I said.
“More important than your mom?”, asked MaDlamini.
“Excuse me, I really have to answer this phone call”, I went out.

I went to the backyard to answer the phone call.

“Thank you for calling back, I have been trying to get a hold of you for hours”, I said.
“I told you, don’t call me all the time. Do you want to get me into trouble? I had a thirty minutes
break, my bones are telling me something”, she said.
“What are your bones saying?”, I asked.
“You must use that powder I gave you. Be careful”, she said.
“You haven’t told me what the bones are saying”, I said.
“Your family is too hard to read. I just see danger, that’s all”, said MaKhumalo.
“How can it be too hard to read? You’re one of the best traditional healers, these things should
be easy for you to read”, I said.
“If you think my job is easy to read, why don’t you throw the bones and see for yourself. I told
you, your family’s case is the hardest I’ve done so far”, said MaKhumalo.
“MaDuna is helping mom, I don’t trust her. The last time she couldn’t treat my mom, you’re
better than her”, I said.
“Just trust her”, said MaKhumalo.
“I wish you were here with us”, I said.
“I am, in spirit”, said MaKhumalo.
“What must I do? What is my role?”, I asked.
“You just have to be brave”, replied MaKhumalo.
I didn’t say anything.
“Nosipho? Are you still there?”, asked MaKhumalo.
“Yes – thank you for calling”, I said.
“Don’t forget the powder”, she reminded.
“I won’t, bye”, I said.
“Bye”, she dropped her phone.

I went inside the house. There was silence, my mom was sitting on the couch, they didn’t look
happy.
“I forgot something at home”, I said.
“Do you want to do this or not?”, asked MaDuna.
“I do”, I replied.
“It doesn’t seem like it”, said MaDlamini.
“I will come back as quickly as possible”, I said.
“Remember your mom sacrificed for you”, said MaDlamini.
“I have to go, I’ll be back”, I left.
I drove home. When I got home, I went straight to my bedroom. I took the powder and I started
applying it on my face, arms, chest and stomach. King Pin was watching tv, he didn’t say
anything to me. I left the house and I got into my car and I drove away. On my way to
MaDlamini’s house, I saw Bandile walking. I slowed the car down. “Hey”, I said.
“Nosipho”, he smiled.
“Where are you off to?”, I asked.
“To visit a friend”, he said.
“Oh, okay. You can ride along”, I said.
He shook his head and said, “I need this walk”.
“I forgot, you’re training your stamina for next year’s stick fighting competition”, I said.
He smiled. I stopped the car, he stopped.
“You don’t give up, do you?”, he asked. “Nope”, I smiled.
He didn’t look like he was in a good mood.
“Get in, maybe you can tell me what’s bothering you”, I said.
“So now you’re a psychologist?”, he asked. He got into the car.
“Are you alright?”, I asked.
“I’m fine”, he said.
“You don’t look fine”, I said.
“I am”, he said.
I got out of the driver seat and I went to the passenger side, he was puzzled. I gave him the
keys.
“Drive”, I said.
“What?”, he asked.
“Please”, I said.
He shifted to the driver seat and I sat on the passenger seat.
“You always wanted me to drive your car”, he said.
“Yeah but you were feeling yourself too much”, I laughed.
“Oh, well”, he smiled.
When he began to start the car, King Pin’s car pulled out from behind. I saw him running
towards the car. I whispered to Bandile, “Here comes trouble”.
King Pin banged the door.
“Is this your grandmother’s house?”, he asked.
“Don’t start, please”, I said.
“What the fuck are you doing in the driver seat?”, King Pin asked Bandile.
“King Pin leave”, I said.
“You heard her, leave”, said Bandile.
“Why are you doing this to our family Nosipho?”, asked King Pin.
“What am I doing? I’m doing absolutely nothing, leave me alone. Leave Bandile alone”, I said.
“You must have a good dick since she’s sticking up for you this much”, said King Pin.
“You’re disgusting!”, I yelled.
“I know you’re fucking him. He’s screwing you because I screwed Linda”, said King Pin.
“Leave my sister’s name out of this!”, Bandile was getting angry.
“Your sister is a whore, tell her it was nice to meet her. She’s not all that, my friends sold me
dreams”, said King Pin.
Bandile got out of the car angrily, he rushed to King Pin, I got out of the car too. They looked
each other in the eye, war was about to begin, I stood in the middle.
**********
Bandile was really angry, King Pin was being mean and selfish.
“Are you fucking my cousin?”, asked King Pin.
“I swear to God, I’m going to knock you out right now”, said Bandile.
“King Pin go home”, I said.
King Pin roughly pushed me away, I fell hard on the ground. That made Bandile more angry.
Bandile started beating King Pin, he had no chance against the strong stick fighter. King Pin
was bleeding – he angrily got into his car and he drove away. Bandile helped me up.
“Are you okay?”, he asked.
“I will be okay”, I was limping.
Bandile opened the car door for me, he helped me up. He got into the car, he didn’t drive. He
was deep in his thoughts, he was looking at the steering wheel.
“You don’t have to worry about him. King Pin is an ass, I regret doing all those things I did with
him in the past. You don’t have to worry about him, I’m stuck with him for the rest of my life”, I
said.
Bandile leaned over and he kissed me unexpectedly. We kissed passionately, I got into my
senses and I pulled away.
“Drive”, I said.
He didn’t say anything, he drove. I didn’t look side aways, I looked forward. Bandile stopped the
car next to a tree, he got out of the car and he gave me the car keys.
“My friend lives around”, he said.
I nodded. He walked away. I shifted to the driver seat. I quickly drove to MaDlamini’s house.
When I entered the house, Mongezi, Babalwa and Amandla were watching tv.
“Where’s mom and MaDlamini?”, I asked.
“They just left, they said they were going to MaDuna’s hut. They just left a few seconds ago”,
said Mongezi.
“Okay, thanks”, I left.
I drove away, on my way to MaDuna’s hut, I saw them walking. I stopped the car. They got in, I
got a long lecture from MaDlamini.
When we got to MaDuna’s house, she started setting up everything like she did in MaDlamini’s
house. Mom sat in the middle.
“We call upon the Dlamini ancestors to guide us, Dlamini, Zizi, Jama kaSjadu, Mabetshe,
Bhanise, Ngxib’inoboya, Fakade, khatsini, Mtikitiki, Nomana ndab’azithethwa intsuku
ngentsuku, Bhengu, Nonyathi we call upon you, help your child”, said MaDuna.
My phone rang, it was MaKhumalo.
“You’re not planning on answering that are you?”, asked MaDlamini.
“I have no choice”, I said.
“Nobesuthu speak to your child”, said MaDlamini.
I quickly went out of the hut, I went to answer the phone call.

“I’m running out of airtime, Nosipho, open your eyes during the climax of the ritual”, said
MaKhumalo.
“What? MaDlamini was knocked unconscious the last time she opened her eyes”, I said.
“You have to do this, I’m running out of airtime, bye”, she said.
“Hello? MaKhumalo? Okay, bye”, I switched the phone off.

I went inside the hut.

“Give me that phone!”, demanded MaDlamini.
“I will switch it totally off”, I said.
“Nosipho give me that phone”, said MaDlamini.
I turned the power off and I gave her my phone. She tucked my phone in her bra.

MaDuna did her little ritual.

“Nokwanda are you here? If you’re here do something to show your presence. Please shut your
eyes everyone, MaDlamini don’t open your eyes, okay? I can sense a presence”, said MaDuna.
Wind started blowing, everyone’s eyes was shut.
“Don’t open your eyes”, warned MaDuna.
Things in the hut started shaking, it’s like there was an earthquake. I took a deep breathe and I
opened my eyes. I blacked out.

I opened my eyes and I was somewhere. I stood up, I looked around. I was outside my
grandmother’s village. No one was in sight, I quickly ran to MaDlamini’s house, no one was
there. I ran to MaDuna’s hut, still, no one was there. I saw two women having an argument. I
tried calming them down but it seemed like they didn’t see me. I noticed the other woman
looked familiar, I remembered I saw her on a few of my grandmother’s photos. She was my
grandmother’s mother, MaDlamini. They were arguing. They were swearing at each other, I
realised the other woman that was arguing with my great grandmother was Majola, because my
great grandmother kept saying. I tried to make sense of everything, I was back in the past. At
that exact moment when my great grandmother had the heated argument that turned into a
generation curse. I saw everything for myself, words were thrown around, it wasn’t good to
watch. After the argument I followed Majola, she angrily went to her house and she casted a
spell on my great grandmother and the family. She took a key that was hanging on the wall, she
walked to the dam that was in my village. She planted the key and she cursed my grandmother
and all her daughter’s daughters.

It was blank, I couldn’t see anything. I went down on my knees and I fell on my back.

“Nosipho! Nosipho wake up!”, yelled MaDuna.

I opened my eyes, it was raining.
“Are you okay?”, asked mom.
“You scared us”, said MaDlamini.
I sat up on the floor, I didn’t say anything.
“Talk to us Nosipho”, said mom.
“I’m fine now, I have to be somewhere”, I stood up.
“This child is in charge of us now! First she answered the phone when we were busy with the
ritual, then she left in the middle of the ritual now she’s going again. Nobesuthu, talk to your
child”, said MaDlamini.
“If I don’t go, I won’t help mom”, I said.
“Help your mom? Where are you going? You being here is the greatest help”, said MaDlamini.
“I have to find the key, I have to break the curse”, I said.
They looked at each other amazed.
“I had a vision, I saw my great grandmother and Majola having an argument. I witnessed
everything, I have to find the key – Majola buried the key near the dam. I saw where she buried
it”, I said.
“Okay, go ahead and help your mom”, said MaDuna.
“It’s true, the woman who cursed and killed my mother is Majola”, said MaDlamini.
“It will all be over, mom. After you’re cured, you will move back in the house with dad”, I said.
My mom smiled.

It was raining outside, MaDuna lend me her umbrella. After all these months, I was happy –
happy that everything will be fine. I wasn’t only going to help mom but I was going to help the
future generation.
My heart is dancing.
**********
I got into my car and I drove to the dam. I parked my car under the tree, I got out of the car and I
rushed to where the key was buried. I saw someone dug the mud and found the key. What was
left on that spot was a hole. I stood there puzzled, who took the key. I was holding an umbrella,
my knees went weak. What am I going to say to my mom? To everyone? I was disappointed in
myself, I kept wondering, who knew about this? I kneeled, looking at the hole as if it was going
to tell me who took the key. My scar began to hurt. I whispered, “ouch”. I looked up, Bandile was
looking at me. The pain quickly faded. I stood up.
“Bandile”, I said.
He looked at me, he looked at me weird. His eyes were almost dead, I didn’t know what
happened to him. I thought to myself, maybe he’s high on something.
“You’re looking for this?”, he asked.
“How did you know about the key?”, I asked.
He laughed.
“Bandile, answer me. How did you know about it?”, I asked again.
“Why wouldn’t I know?”, he said.
“Give me the key”, I said.
“I’d be stupid to give you this key”, he said.
“Bandile? Are you kidding me?”
“No, I’m not”
“Please, my mom needs to be cured. The future generation rely on this key. My family rely on
this key, please”
“Nosipho, you don’t have any idea who I am”
“Who are you? Tell me”
“I’m Nosakhele Bantu. Also known as Majola, the daughter of the greatest sangoma that ever
lived”
“What have you done to Bandile?”
“You’re a lucky girl. You should’ve been dead by now”
“What have you done to Bandile?”
“I have been watching you for the past months – ”
“Watching me?”
“Your daughter is with me. I will raise her to be just like me – ”
“You’re lying, that can’t happen, it was stillbirth”
“I’m very powerful. Ever wondered why your little brother is changing? He should’ve been dead
too, you helped him”
“You were the mysterious person who was hiding behind trees? You were trying to harm Lwazi
when he was drunk. I can remember, I had a dream about that, it was in Johannesburg”
“I am slowly destroying your family – ”
“Why are you doing this to us?”
“Bandile is a fighter. I should’ve killed you in the shack, I had the knife in my hands. I was ready
to kill you but he didn’t let me”
“Bandile please fight! Wherever you are, please fight! How did you get into Bandile’s body?”
“MaKhumalo helped me”
“What?”
“Yes, your precious MaKhumalo helped me”
“She wouldn’t betray my family like that”
“When she was at your house, that ceremony she did – that was my only chance – ”
“You were the evil spirit present?”
“Today you’re going down”
“Please – ”
Bandile kneeled down like an animal and he made a very loud beast noise. The sound was very
familiar. He surrounded me, he was walking like a baboon. It wasn’t really Bandile, it was Majola
trapped in Bandile’s body. I took a few steps backwards, Majola slowly came towards me.
“Please don’t hurt me, what do you want from me?”, I was terrified.

Out of the blue, I saw my mother – or I thought. She introduced herself as Nokwanda, I was
more terrified. I knew I was going to die.
“Don’t be afraid”, said Nokwanda.
“Go away Satan!”, I yelled.
“I’m on your side”, said Nokwanda.
Majola stood upright.
“Nokwanda what do you want here?”, asked Majola.
“I’m here to help my blood”, responded Nokwanda.
“Blood?”, Majola laughed.
“You probably heard of bad things about me but let’s put that behind, I’m here for you”, said
Nokwanda.
“You believe her? She wants you as much as I want you”, said Majola.
I was confused.
“I heard bad things about the both of you. I don’t trust any of you”, I said.
“Nokwanda give up”, said Majola.
“Nosipho, please”, pleaded Nokwanda.
“Nokwanda you killed animals but you were just a kid. I can imagine how evil you are as an
adult”, I said.
“Do you blame me? I was cursed just like your mother”, said Nokwanda.
“My mother is nothing like you!”, I yelled.
“I want to help my family. People portray me as an evil person. You were never told the good
things I did”, said Nokwanda.
“I only need the key”, I said.
“I’m here to help you”, said Nokwanda.
Majola got angry, she went towards me but suddenly she stopped.
“Nosipho here’s the key”, said Bandile.
I knew it was him, I reached out my hand to get the key but he fell.
“You think you can have the key?”, asked Majola. “I’m going to destroy your family bit by bit”,
she said.
Nokwanda went towards me, I walked backwards. My phone rang, I answered it.

“This isn’t a great time, MaKhumalo. You owe me an explanation”, I said.

“I’m really sorry”, she said.
“That’s all? You’re just sorry. How could you do that to my family?”, I asked.
“I was protecting you”, she said.
“Whatever, don’t call me anymore. I don’t need your help anymore”, I said.
“Please listen to me”, she said.
“Bye”, I cancelled the call.

Majola ran towards me, she jumped on top of me. My phone flew up in the air and landed near
the tree. She strangled me.
“I’m going to kill you with my own hands. Well, not my own hands but Bandile’s hands”, she
said.
Nokwanda was carrying a big stone.
“No, don’t, please you’re going to harm Bandile”, I said.
I tried fighting back but she was so strong, well, Bandile was so strong. I gave up fighting, I
closed my eyes. I gave up on life for a moment.
I’m going to die.
**********
When my eyes were shut, everything that has happened in my life appeared in fast forward
mode. I knew I was dying, I’ve heard stories about these sort of things.
I opened my eyes, I was in hospital. King Pin, Lwazi and my parents were surrounding me.
“Mom are you okay now? Where’s Bandile, is he okay?”, I asked.
“Rest my child”, said mom.
“Yeah, rest”, said King Pin.
“I’m happy that you’re okay. I found you laying unconscious on the ground near the dam”, said
Lwazi.
“I was?”, I was surprised.
“I’m glad that you’re okay my child”, dad kissed me on my forehead.
Everyone left the hospital room except for my mom.
“It was brave of you”, said mom.
“I’m so disappointed in myself”, I said.
“Everything happens for a reason”, she said.
“I was this close to getting the key, this close but…”, tears started racing down my face.
“Don’t cry my child”, mom hugged me. “I hope there’s a next time”, I said.
“What happened?”, my mom was curious.
“Majola took the key. She was in Bandile’s body and I saw Nokwanda”, I said.
“This is unreal”, mom covered her mouth in shock.
“Don’t you believe me?”, I asked.
“I do, I do believe you my child”, mom said.
I smiled weakly.
“Get well soon, I promised MaDuna I will go back as soon as I see that you’re up and okay”,
said mom.
“You can go”, I smiled.
“Alright, see you soon”, mom left.

Minutes later King Pin entered the hospital room I was in and he had a swollen eye and a few
scratches on his face.
“Hey”, he said.
“Hey”, I mumbled.
“I owe you an apology”, he said.
“You do?”, I acted surprised.
“I’m sorry for everything I have done. I’ve been a pain in the ass, I’m really sorry. To tell you the
truth, I still had feelings for you. It was hard for me to transition from being your boyfriend to
being your cousin. I never admitted it because, you know, because of my ego. You’re the only
girl I truly loved with all my heart. Thank you for teaching me how to love, in the meantime I’m
searching for my Mrs right. Linda and Foxy are not the right girls for me”, he said.
“What I noticed is that you began to act like the old King Pin. You were changing when I was still
with you but when you became my cousin, you went back to that King Pin you don’t even like”, I
said.
“I know, I’m sorry”, he said.
“Don’t be sorry, it’s your life. I feel sorry for you”, I said.
“Can I ask you something Nosipho?”
“Yeah?”
“What’s happening between you and Bandile?”
“Nothing”
“Are you sure?”
“You just asked me a question and I answered you. What do you want me to say?”
“I’ve noticed how he looks at you”
“I hated what you said to Bandile”
“What’s that?”
“You said, ‘your dick must be good since she’s sticking up for you’ I really hated that”
“I’m sorry, I apologised to you though”
“You know what? You’re an arrogant ass”
“Why? I apologised. Do you want me to go down on my knees and beg for you to accept my
apology?”
“Don’t push it”
“You’re acting like you’re better than me or something”
“That’s bullshit, you know it”
“I don’t want to argue with you, I’m leaving”
“Leave, do us all a favour and go back to Johannesburg”
“Oh? It’s like that now? Tell me, where are you going to live when you go to Johannesburg?”
“Definitely not at your house”
“I thought so too. Bye Nosipho, sort your own issues”
“Grow up King Pin”
“You grow up, please”
King Pin left the room. I stayed in hospital for a day before getting discharged.

The next morning, I was going home. I was getting ready to leave. I received a text message
from Mbali, she was talking about her new boyfriend, I smiled at what she wrote. MaKhumalo
entered the hospital room.
“Sorry for not knocking”, she said.
“What are you doing here?”, I asked.
“Your mom told me I will find you here”, she said.

I sat on the bed. What will she say now?

**********
“You didn’t give me the opportunity to explain everything to you”, said MaKhumalo.
“How could you do this to our family? Are you really helping us?”, I asked.
“Yes, I am – I was doing what was right at that time. I don’t regret my decision”, she said.
“You’re just like your evil friends”, I said.
“Majola isn’t my friend. She’s old enough to be my mother. She visited me a few months ago. I
was terrified when I saw her, I thought she returned to kill me like she killed my family”,
MaKhumalo began to cry.
“She killed your family? I’m sorry, I didn’t know”, I said.
“She said she wanted to enter your body but I didn’t let her. She made me choose a family
member. I chose someone who hated you back then, Bandile was an easy pick. He was always
on your business, giving you a hard time. I chose him, I chose Bandile”, she said.
I kept quiet.
“If you want to see me, I will be in my house. I came all the way from Durban to help you and
your family, that’s if you still need my help”, she said.
“What about the sangomas you were training?”, I asked.
“They’re in good hands”, she replied.
I looked away.
“As I said, I will be in my house if you need me”, MaKhumalo left.
I didn’t have to think twice, MaKhumalo is the right person for the job. I was excited that she’s
back although I didn’t show much enthusiasm. Now I have to convince my mom and my
grandmother. MaDuna is good at what she does but MaKhumalo is better than she.
My dad came to fetch me, he was driving my car. He drove me home. I had to face the boring
King Pin, I won’t say I’m looking forward to seeing him.
King Pin was sitting under the tree. I got out of the car, he approached me.
“I’m the last person on earth you want to see, I know. I’m also sick of myself, but hey, I really
meant what I said there – the apology. I don’t want to fight with you anymore”, he said.
“We will always fight because we’re family. I’m sorry for being an ass too, I’m stressed. That’s a
lame excuse but I’m not in the right space of mind right now”, I said.
King Pin hugged me, that’s one thing I don’t have to worry about.

I rested the whole morning, King Pin lend a helping hand. I was grateful for the help I received
from him.

In the afternoon, I drove to Melusi’s house, where Linda and Bandile were staying. Linda was
hanging her clothes, I got out of the car. She acted like she didn’t see me.
“Linda, uhm, is Bandile home?”, I asked.
She looked at me and said, “Good afternoon Nosipho, yes, I’m fine thank you”, she said.
“Is Bandile home or not?”, I asked.
“He’s spending so much time with you these days. I thought he was with you”, she said.
“When last did you see him?”, I asked.
“This morning”, she replied.
“Oh, okay”, I said.
“I heard what your cousin said about me”, she said.
I didn’t say anything.
“I can’t believe he said that about me. Bandile told me, he wasn’t happy”, she said.
“They got into a fight – it’s old news now”, I said.
“He doesn’t answer my calls. Do you have anything to do with this?”, she asked.
I giggled.
“I don’t have time to break your fling”, I said.
“Fling? You’re probably jealous because he’s with me. Now you’re using Bandile to make him
jealous”, she said.
“So you’re still with him? I thought Bandile said you were over him”, I said. “I am now, I don’t
want anything to do with King Pin anymore. He made a promise and he broke it”, she said.
I was curious about the promise King Pin made.
“Do…do you think Foxy is really carrying King Pin’s baby?”, I asked.
“Yes”, she nodded.
I saw Bandile, he was shirtless and he had his sticks. By the looks of things, he was practicing
his stick fighting – as usual. He just went pass me without greeting me.
“Did you guys fight?”, asked Linda.
“No”, I followed Bandile inside the house.

He went to his bedroom, I followed him. “Leave me alone”, he said.

“It wasn’t your fault”, I said.
“I don’t want to be around you because you remind me of someone I hate being”, he said.
“I said, it wasn’t your fault. Stop blaming yourself, okay? Now I understand. It wasn’t you that
day in the shack”, I said.
“Please leave”, he said.
“Bandile, listen, please. Bandile? Hear me out, please”, I pleaded.
“Nosipho leave me the fuck alone! What the fuck is your problem?”, he was angry.
“Don’t be a fool, please. I want to help you, come with me to…”, I didn’t finish what I had to say
because Bandile interrupted me.
“Leave!”, he yelled.
“Come with me to MaKhumalo’s house, she’s going to help you”, I said.
“Why don’t you listen?”, he held me close.
He kissed my forehead, I closed my eyes. We looked each other in the eyes, I could see fear in
his eyes. He came a little bit closer and closer and closer…then he kissed me. I closed my
eyes.

Linda came into the room, we stopped kissing. It was really awkward.
“I…I…I have to go”, Linda dropped Bandile’s clothes on his bed.
“Thanks for washing my clothes”, said Bandile.
Linda went out of the bedroom.
“So? Are you going to MaKhumalo’s house?”, I asked eagerly.
“You don’t take no for an answer, do you? I guess I have to go. I must say, that kiss persuaded
me”, he smiled.
“Then I should kiss you more often, you stubborn man”, I said.

We both left for MaKhumalo’s house. I drove to MaKhumalo’s house.

Part 38: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl

MaKhumalo was happy to see us, she apologised to Bandile and made him understand why
she did that. Bandile understood but he didn’t accept it, I don’t know any human being that
would accept that. I decided to drive to MaDlamini’s house, Bandile stayed at MaKhumalo’s
house.
When I got to my grandmother’s house, they were eating muffins – MaDuna was also there.
“Here’s my granddaughter, are you okay my child?”, asked MaDlamini.
“I’m fine”, I smiled.
“Sit down my child”, said MaDlamini.
“It won’t take long”, I said.
“Your mom made some delicious muffins, come and have some”, offered MaDlamini.
“No thanks, I need to speak to you mom in private”, I said.
“Your mom is sitting with elders and you want her to stop whatever she’s doing and attend to
you?”, MaDlamini shook her head.
“Mom can we please speak in private”, I said.
“Nosipho, I can’t stand up and just leave, I’m eating”, said mom.
“It’s really urgent”, I said.
“Tell me”, she said.
“Mom please come with me”, I said.
“I can’t”, said mom.
“MaKhumalo wants to help you, she came back to help our family”, I said.
“Then what am I doing here?”, asked MaDuna.
“Don’t mind this child, I’ve been telling her that we don’t need that woman’s help”, said
MaDlamini.
“We need MaKhumalo much more than we ever did”, I said.
“Eish, this child, Nobesuthu speak to your child”, said MaDlamini.
“Nosipho, outside…now”, mom went out.
I followed her outside.

“What do you think you’re doing Nosipho?”, asked mom.

“I’m doing what’s right for you”, I replied.
“MaDuna knows what she’s doing”, mom was too sure.
“She knows what she’s doing but MaKhumalo has a more broader knowledge in these cases”, I
tried to defend MaKhumalo.
“Nosipho, your MaKhumalo left us without saying a word. How am I suppose to trust that type of
person?”
“Mom, MaKhumalo can heal you totally. Please mom, don’t you want to get better?”
“Of course I do but MaDuna – ”
“I know you don’t want MaDuna’s help, your mom is forcing you – ”
“MaDlamini isn’t forcing me to do anything!”
“Okay, calm down mom. MaKhumalo is open to helping, she’s waiting for you right now”
“I don’t need her”
“Mom, please, you need her. I know you know that you need her but you don’t want to
disappoint your mom”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about”
“You do mom. Let’s go to MaKhumalo’s house, please”
“I can’t Nosipho”
“Remember how you used to tell me that you’re doing what’s best for me?
“That doesn’t have anything to do with this situation”
“It has everything to do with this situation mom, I’m doing what’s best for you”
“Nosipho…”
“I love you mom, I can’t afford to lose you. I love you with all my heart, I’m not saying this
because I want to persuade you, I mean every word with all my heart. I don’t tell you much often
but I love you mom”
“I love you too”
My mom hugged me. I felt her love, tears started racing down my face.
She agreed to go to MaKhumalo’s house, my grandmother wasn’t happy but she had no choice
but to support her daughter.
We went to MaKhumalo’s house. Mom was confused when she saw Bandile.
“What are you doing here?”, asked mom.
“Bandile need MaKhumalo’s help”, I said.
“What help? Do you know how much trouble this boy has caused?”, asked mom.
“He needs help”, I said.
“Ma, I’m sorry for everything I have done to you and your family. The pain that I’ve caused”,
apologised Bandile.
“I accept your apology”, said mom.
“Thank you very much ma”, Bandile was happy.
“I’m accepting your apology because I don’t want to carry anger and resentment towards you.
That’s not healthy for me”, said mom.
“I have something to tell you Nobesuthu”, said MaKhumalo.
MaKhumalo told mom everything – she told her how Bandile is possessed by Majola’s spirit.
My mom was shocked and scared.
I told MaKhumalo that I saw Nokwanda and that she wasn’t evil as people claimed her to be.
MaKhumalo started setting up everything, she was ready to cure my mom. I told her about the
key, she said she had everything under control, I trusted her.

MaKhumalo did her thing. Majola was present again.

“Where is the key Majola?”, asked MaKhumalo.
“The key is in your mother’s uterus”, replied Majola.
“I’m not joking. Majola where is the key?”, MaKhumalo asked again.
“I see you’re joining us Nosipho, you’re lucky that you’re not dead. Well, yet”, laughed Majola.
“You want me, take me on”, said mom. “Let’s have a deal”, said Majola.
“I’m tired of your deals”, said MaKhumalo.
“Let’s listen to what she has to say”, I said.
“I’ll give you the key, you give me Nobesuthu’s mother”, said Majola.
“You’re really crazy!”, said mom.
“If you don’t want the offer I can go forever”, said Majola.
“Forever?”, I asked.
“Yes, forever. I’m going to the dam, I’m going to live underwater”, she said.
“MaKhumalo you can’t allow her, what will happen to Bandile?”, I was worried.
“Majola you can’t do that”, said MaKhumalo.
“I’m sure there’s another better solution”, I said.
“Yes – MaKhumalo, you can reverse everything. Give me the girl, I always wanted the girl”, said
Majola.
“No! Stay away from Nosipho”, said MaKhumalo.
MaDlamini knocked on the door, I opened the door.
“What’s so hot in here”, said MaDlamini.
“MaDlamini, this is the wrong time to visit”, said MaKhumalo.
“I came to check on my daughter or am I not allowed in your house?”, asked MaDlamini.
“Majola’s spirit is present right now. She’s in Bandile’s body, I think it’s better that you leave”,
said MaKhumalo.
“I’m not going anywhere, I’m not scared of Majola. Where are you? Come out, why did you kill
my mother?”, MaDlamini asked Majola.
“I killed your mother because she was no use to the community”, replied Majola.
“Who were you to decide?”, MaDlamini was angry.
“I’m Majola the greatest witch that ever lived”, she was happy.
MaDlamini wanted to strangle her but she would hurt Bandile instead, I stopped her.
MaKhumalo did her thing, MaDuna later joined. They both helped Bandile and mom.
MaKhumalo told me to go to the place the key was buried. Bandile was tightly tied so Majola
can’t escape. She told me to bring the key before 8pm. The time was about 2pm. I drove to the
dam.
When I got there, I went to where the key was buried. I began digging, I found the key, I was
happy. I saw Nokwanda, I was really scared.
“Stay back, don’t come closer”, I said.
“Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you”, she said.
“Nokwanda what do you want?”
“Nosipho I want to rest in peace”
“What?”
“You’re the only person who can help me. I need to rest in peace, Majola torments me – ”
“Torments? How can I help then?”
“Take the boy to Majola’s house, tell the boy to stab Majola’s mirror. I guarantee you,
everything will be okay”
“How will I open Majola’s house? Nobody leaves there”
“Nosipho you can use that key”
“This key?”
“Yes”
“Okay, thank you”
“No, thank you”

I quickly rushed to MaKhumalo’s house, I was sure that today the sun will set and my mother
would be okay – Bandile too.
**********
I told MaKhumalo that we should go to Majola’s house and do what Nokwanda told me to do.
We went to Majola’s house, I opened Majola’s house with the key. Majola started to become
violent, we all tried to stop Bandile, he was too strong. Majola’s spirit being in Bandile’s body
was very hard to deal with. Bandile is very strong and we couldn’t handle. MaKhumalo told me
to call my dad, Lwazi and King Pin. I drove home.

When I got home, my dad, King Pin and Lwazi were watching tv. It was really quiet.
“We need your help”, I said.
“We? Who’s we?”, asked dad.
“Me, MaKhumalo, MaDuna, MaDlamini and…mom”, I replied.
“Help on what?”, asked King Pin.
“Uhm…Bandile has been possessed by the spirit of the greatest witch that ever set foot in this
village. We can’t control him, he’s too powerful for us”, I said.
“What makes you think that we will help him?”, asked Lwazi.
“If we help him, we will help mom”, I said.
“Where are they?”, asked dad.
“In Majola’s house”, I replied.
“How did they get in? That house was locked for years”, said dad.
“We – I found the key”, I said.
“Okay”, said dad.
“I urge everyone to come out and help…please”, I said.
“I don’t know”, shrugged Lwazi.
“If we don’t do anything soon, something bad is going to happen. When that clock strikes 8pm
and we haven’t done anything, there will be trouble”, I said.

I drove to Majola’s house. MaKhumalo was giving everyone the powder to protect themselves.
Minutes later I arrived, dad, Lwazi and King Pin arrived. They held Bandile to the ground, they
were able to pin him down.
“Bandile must stab the mirror but how can he do that when Majola is in charge right now?”, I
asked MaKhumalo.
“Bandile fight man, fight. You’re strong, come on, fight”, MaKhumalo motivated.

We spent hours in Majola’s house. The time was 7pm, we had only one hour left. I was really
sweaty, everyone was tired. After many hours, Bandile finally regained his body. He was
gasping for air, I ran up to him.
“Do you want water? Are you okay?”, I was worried.
“No thanks, I’m weak – tired. It’s like I’ve been working in the field the whole day”, he said.
His legs were shaky so he sat down.
“You must look in the mirror and stab it, everything is going to be okay after that. This is the last
stage”, said MaKhumalo.
“I can’t stand up, I’m really weak”, said Bandile.
“Lwazi please help me carry Bandile”, I said.
“Don’t worry my girl, I’ll carry him – come Thando”, said dad.
Dad and King Pin carried Bandile, MaKhumalo gave him a knife to stab the mirror. Bandile was
too weak to stand on his own but he had to. He weakly stood in front of the mirror, he looked at
it and when he was about to stab the mirror, his hand went to my direction. Everyone screamed,
it seems like Majola took over again. She had the knife around my neck, ready to cut my throat
open.
“If anyone comes near me, I swear I will cut her throat open”, said Majola.
I was crying.
“Look at the time, I think 8pm is approaching – I’ll go with her underwater, you won’t see her
ever again”, said Majola.
“Take me, take me instead”, said mom. “No, no, no, no, no”, I shook my head.
“Take me”, MaDlamini came forward.
“No mom! You can’t do this”, protested mom.
“Please mom and grandmother, don’t offer yourselves”, I said.
“You’re still young Nosipho, life is longer for you. I can die any moment, I’m old”, said
MaDlamini.
“That doesn’t mean you should sacrifice your life”, I said.
“Shut up! Everyone shut up!”, shouted Majola.

I closed my eyes and I prayed. The knife fell, I kicked it away. Bandile fell, it’s like he was
battling with Majola. All of a sudden he had power, he wasn’t that weak anymore. Bandile stood
up.
“Quickly give me the knife”, he said.
I quickly gave him the knife, he ran to the mirror. He stopped, he fell, everyone was watching in
amazement. Bandile is definitely a fighter, his willingness was impressive. He stood up again
and he ran and quickly stabbed the mirror. Everyone rejoiced in excitement. He kept stabbing
the mirror until there wasn’t something to look at. There was no reflection, nothing, there
was…freedom. He dropped the knife, I hugged him tightly, he kissed my cheek. King Pin was
watching, he went outside. MaKhumalo swept the glass pieces that were shattered on the floor.
I went outside to check on King Pin, he was sitting on the stairs.

“What’s up?”, I asked.

“I feel sick”, he said.
“Sick of me and Bandile?”, I asked.
“Oh? I thought you guys weren’t…you know, ‘together’. You tell me what’s up”, he said.
“Bandile is a nice guy, I like him”
“You like him? Okay”
“You should give him a chance”
“So you guys are dating?”
“No but what I can tell you is that the feeling is mutual”
“Oh…okay, good for you”
“There’s a girl waiting for you out there. A lucky girl, if I may add”
“You like to sugar coat things”
“That’s the truth though”
“I like you…I…I really like you, Nosipho”
“King Pin you’re my – ”
“You’re not a Ndamase”
“What?! Where did you get that bullshit?”
“I promised uncle to keep this a secret until the right time”
“I don’t believe this. If I’m not a Ndamase what am I?”
“Listen, Wilfred loves you – don’t you ever forget that”
“If I’m not a Ndamase what am I?”
“Nosipho – ”
“What am I, King Pin?”
“A Dlazi, you’re Samuel Dlazi’s daughter”
“What? Radebe?”
“Yeah, you and Lwazi have the same father”
I angrily went inside Majola’s house where everyone was rejoicing.

I foresee trouble.
**********
“Is it true? Is it true that I’m not a Ndamase?”, I asked my parents.
“Nosipho, this isn’t the time”, said mom.
“Is it true?”, I asked.
“Yes”, replied dad.
People were surprised, MaDlamini couldn’t hide her amazement.
“Nobesuthu what is this I’m hearing? You told me Lwazi wasn’t Wilfred’s son, why didn’t you tell
me that Nosipho too wasn’t Wilfred’s child?”, MaDlamini was amazed.
“Mom, I’m disgusted by your antics. You married this man but you had children with another
man whilst you were married”, I said angrily.
I left the house and I drove home.

When I got home, I went straight to my bedroom. I heard footsteps coming towards the
bedroom, it was Bandile.
“Nosipho”, he said.
“I don’t want to talk to anyone”, I said.
“Nosipho…it’s okay, I’ll do the talking. Look, what happened back there really shocked
everyone, including me. Saying sorry to you won’t change anything, being angry at everyone
and not wanting to talk to anyone won’t change anything either. I hope you’ll find a good place in
your beautiful heart and forgive your parents, especially your mom. Thank you very much for
what you done”, he said.
I looked at him, I was confused.
“Thank you very much for helping me. If it wasn’t for you and your brain, I would be possessed
by an old witch”, smiled Bandile.
“You should thank MaKhumalo…and MaDuna”, I said.
“Hmm…thank you for deciding to talk to me”
“Bandile, getting mad at everyone or my parents won’t change anything. I love the man that
raised me, I’m a Ndamase no matter what”
“That’s true”
“But the thought makes me…a bit mad. How would you react?”
“I would go to the dam and practice my stick fighting”
“Why didn’t I think of that? Of course you would do that”
“Do you know where I go when I’m angry?”
“Where?”
“Come let me show you”
“Bandile…”
“Nosipho come please”

He led the way, I followed him. We went up the mountain, I didn’t even know where we were
going. Finally we arrived at a very peaceful place with a beautiful view. There was a huge rock
with writings on it and also beautiful flowers. Bandile gave me a flower.
“A beautiful flower for a beautiful girl”, he said.
“Thank you, wow, this place is beautiful. I never been here, ever”, I looked around.
“You see these writings on this rock? These are my notes, I write them when I come here”, he
said.
“This is a lot of writing”, I said.
“I know, I like to…you know”, he said shyly.
“You like to write? You don’t have to be embarrassed about that”, I said.
“I like to write”, he looked down.
“Can I read what you wrote?”, I asked.
“Help yourself, you can read”
“Alright”
I read the writings, I smiled.
“Wow, you’re a good writer. You should try and publish a book or write a movie. I have a friend,
KG, well, he’s more like my former agent. I’m sure he can help you”, I said.
“I’m not that good, come on”, he said.
“This is amazing, don’t let your talent go to waste, okay?”
“I will think about that”
“So…how often do you see your kids?”
“I haven’t saw them in a long time now”
“Are you planning on – ”
“Can we please talk about something else? I don’t like to talk about my kids”
“Okay, what can we talk about then? You brought me here”
“Let’s talk about us, Nosipho”
“Us?”
“Yes”
“What about us?”
“I know you like me and I like you – ”
“I don’t want to rush anything”
“Just admit that you like me”
“Well…”
“Nosipho I know you like me”
“I do – a bit”
“Hmm, I don’t blame you, okay?”
“Oh please”
“Really. I like you, I have confessed this a million times now”

We stayed there for a while before heading home. He didn’t come in, he went home, I got in the
house. My parents, Lwazi and King Pin were watching tv. I was glad that mom came home.
“We would love to apologise to you, Nosipho and Lwazi. We haven’t been the best parents but
we love you. Just know, you’re still true Ndamases. I love you, your mom loves you too”, said
dad.
“Dad, our blood will never separate us. You’re still our dad regardless of everything that has
happened. We love you will all our hearts, Lwazi might not confess but I know he loves you with
all his heart. Mom, you’re not perfect, we love you too. Let’s start over, take things one step at a
time”, I said.
“We would love that”, dad said with tears forming in his eyes.
We all had a group hug, including King Pin.

Three hours later.

Everyone was sleeping except me and King Pin. We were sitting on the same couch, he came
a little bit closer.
“I miss you”, he whispered in my ear.
I didn’t say anything.
“But you’re already taken by Mr stick fighter. I wish we can rewind everything, go back to when
things between us were great”, he said.
“We fixed our issues with each other, I thought things between us were great”, I said.
“You know what I mean. I’m talking about when we were in a relationship”
“Things will never be the same again”
“I know”
“King Pin, you should learn to let go – just like me”
“I will…with time”
“See who’s catching feelings now? I thought you said were this guy who would never be left
hanging, look at you now”
“Nosipho, I don’t even want to answer you”
“Do you think Foxy is really carrying your kid?”
“I don’t know, maybe or maybe not”
“I hope she’s not”
“Why? You don’t want competition?”
“Ha! Competition? Nah, because I don’t want her kid to be a Ndamase. I don’t want her to be
associated with this family”
“I guess we all have to wait and see”
“I guess so too”

King Pin went to sleep on the shack outside. The stars were sparkling tonight, it was the
beginning of something new. Wherever my great grandmother’s spirit is rested, she must be
definitely proud of me.

It’s been a long way coming but it has definitely been worth it. It’s been a blessing in disguise.
**********
The next morning I went to thank MaKhumalo and MaDuna for their help. I really felt blessed.
I’m alive for a reason.
I went back to Johannesburg for a few months. When I finally met Mbali’s new boyfriend, I
nearly fainted because he was the father of my child. He was also shocked to see me, I told
Mbali the truth and she wasn’t very pleased. Monde, that’s his name, he told me that he decide
to never return because he didn’t want to live a miserable life. I understood, he told me that my
son is in great health. He is a smart little man and he goes to school, I tried to negotiate with him
regarding my son. I told my family about Monde and my son, Mveli. They were shocked but
happy, Monde agreed to let my son stay with my parents on one condition – that he can visit
him and his family whenever. I felt bad that I robbed Mbali’s chance at love but she didn’t make
a big fuss about it. I knew deep down she was hurt.
My relationship with Bandile is simply platonic, nothing is happening between us.
A few months later, Foxy gave birth to King Pin’s baby. He named the child Thando Jnr, the
child was a boy. Me and Foxy were not friends we just respected each other’s space. I later
moved to Durban, I rented an apartment there and King Pin payed for my studies. Lwazi stayed
with me, he schooled in Durban. We were away from all the Johannesburg chaos.
My parents’ marriage is going stronger than ever.
King Pin stopped with all the illegal business. He renewed his strip club and named it “Destiny
Night Club”, he turned it into a night club. He also opened a restaurant.
Foxy tried out for modeling, she travels the country modeling. Her son lives with the King Pin’s
mom’s family, Dlomo family.
Linda worked as a waitress, her son lived with her family.
Bandile wrote short stories for local movies. He got a scholarship to study film and television
production.
Raymond moved to Cape Town where he opened a large chinese restaurant. He sold his club
to Martin.
Martin is engaged, he bought Raymond’s club.
Rashidi is a club manager at the club Martin bought from Raymond.
Adelphe, Uche, Kwame and Hakeem have their own t-shirt line. They’re real entrepreneurs now.
Mfundo is studying accounting in Durban, we hang out from time to time.
MaKhumalo lives in King Williams Town, she’s still doing well as a traditional healer.
Nothing changed for MaDuna.
My grandmother, MaDlamini passed away. May her beautiful soul rest in peace.
Mongezi, Amandla and Babalwa still live in MaDlamini’s house. Mongezi works as a secretary at
a municipal office. Amandla and Babalwa are still going strong at school.
I will never associate myself with bad people. After completing my high school, I would love to
go to university and study and become a social worker. During school holidays, I visit my
parents and my son in the village.
The village is a bit more free, people go to the city without getting judged. The pastor stepped
out and a new pastor was elected by the people. The old pastor moved to Butterworth.
Life is too short, make the most of it. Remember, the decisions you make today influences your
future.

THANK YOU FOR READING THIS FICTIONAL

STORY.

THE END

PART TWO

#1: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

I was deep in my own thoughts, my grandmother sat next to me.

“Are you sure you’re ready?” She asked. She was more nervous than me.
“Yes – it’s been too long now. I have to do this”, I replied confidently.
“Please come back my child, whatever you do, please come back”, my grandmother’s eyes
were watery.
“Of course I will”, I said.

The next day I was supposed to leave for Johannesburg. I was going to look for my mother,
Nomsa Gaxa. She left 10 years ago, she said she was going to look for a job and stay with my
father, Wilson Hlophe who was a mine worker back then.
I’m Yoliswa Gaxa, I’m a 20-year-old girl from East London, Eastern Cape. I live with my
grandmother, Regina Gaxa, she’s a healthy 65-year-old. I also live with my younger brother,
Mbulelo, he’s 16 years old. My cousin sister, Asisipho (24) and her son, Aphiwe (3) recently
moved in with us. My grandparents raised me but unfortunately my grandfather passed away 2
years ago, may his soul rest in peace. All my grandmother’s children passed away, finding my
mother was one of the motivations.

“God will be with you throughout your journey. Trust in the Lord, we will keep you in our prayer”,
my grandmother was becoming emotional.
“Gogo, don’t worry”, I assured her.
“Is the money enough for food and shelter?” She asked nervously.
“Don’t worry Gogo, everything is sorted. I will take a train to Jozi, get accommodation, look for
my mother and perhaps get a job”, I said.
“Okay”, my grandmother nodded her head.

My younger brother wanted to go with me but my grandmother and cousin convinced him that
staying is better. I was a little nervous because I never been to Johannesburg and I often hear
about how dangerous the city is.
I didn’t tell my boyfriend, Vusani (25) that I was leaving, I didn’t know where to start. But I
organised a meeting with him. He’s a busy man now, he works as a salesman for a warehouse
store. He recently got the job, I see more of him during the weekends. He told me that we can
meet after work, I agreed.
Late afternoon, I was with my friends, Aphelele, Tina and Ovayo. They are a crazy bunch.
Aphelele is very loud and energetic. Tina is more reserved and smart. Ovayo is really funny.

“My friend how anxious are you about tomorrow?” Asked Ovayo.
“I just want everything to pass, you know? I can’t wait for tomorrow”, I said.
“You still haven’t told Vusani?” Asked Aphelele.
“I will tell him today”, I said.
“Don’t be a stranger, do halla at us”, Tina reminded me – again.
“I will call you guys every chance I get”, I smiled. “I will really miss you guys”, I added.
“Stop, you will make me cry!”, Aphelele screamed.
“I will come back guys, come on don’t be dramatic”, I said.

Later that day, I met up with my boyfriend. He asked me to go to his place. He was really
excited to see me. We’ve been dating for 2 years but it seems like we’ve been dating for a
longer time.

“Here’s your favourite drink”, he handed me a glass full of apple juice.

“Thank you”, I tried faking a smile.
“You look really tense, do you want a backrub? I can give you one”, he offered. It was a great
offer but I couldn’t take it.
I placed the glass on the table and I adjusted myself on the seat, “I need to talk to you”.
“Sounds really important”, he said studying my face.
“I’m afraid it is”, I said.
“Let’s hear”, he sat next to me.
“I don’t know how I can even explain it”, I buried my face in my palms.
“Are you pregnant?” He asked.
“No, no – I’m not pregnant”, I stood up.
“Sit down, you’re making me nervous”, he gently pulled me to sit down.
“You’ve been a great boyfriend to me. A great man and a great friend. Knowing you was one of
the greatest things that ever happened to me. I appreciate everything you ever done to me – “, I
couldn’t continue. How can I even think of doing what I’m going to do? He offered me my
favourite juice and he never did anything that made me second guess him.
“You know you can talk to me”, he placed his arm around my neck.
“You do know about my mother, right? I told you the story already. My grandmother raised
money for me to go to Johannesburg to look for her”, I said.
“That’s great, when are you leaving?” He asked.
“Tomorrow”, I responded. Silence overcame the room.
“You always wanted to find your mother, I’m just happy that you will finally do it. As long as you
will come back and we will do what we always talked about. You know, get married and start our
own family”, he said.
He spoke so beautifully but I had to be realistic with him.

“About that, Vusani – I don’t even know how long I’ll be away”
“I will wait for you”
“You don’t understand Vusani – ”
“I do understand Yoliswa. You will be away for a while, I will be here raising money for the
lobola. So when you come back, we will get the lobola negotiations going”
“I don’t want to waste your time, there will be a lot of girls hanging around, me not being here
will perhaps tempt you. I want to free you from the thought of not being out there because of
me”
“Yoliswa what are you trying to say?”
“Vusani, it’s best that we go our separate ways”
“What?”
“I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry – ”
“What did I do wrong?”
“You did nothing wrong. This is best for you – ”
“Best for me? What happened to our marriage talks?”
“I thought I was ready but I’m not ready for marriage”
“You’re not ready for marriage because you’re going to Jozi, it’s all good Yoliswa. I’m sure there
are many men out there waiting for you in Jozi”
“Don’t say that”
“When you made this decision, what were you thinking?”
“I was thinking what’s best for you – ”
“Do you want to know what’s best for me? Do you?”
“It’s okay, I just wanted to tell you that”
“So I must be fine with that?”
“I don’t expect you to be fine right now but maybe when time – ”
“You never loved me!”
“Vusani, please – ”
“You never loved me Yoliswa!”
“I did!”
“If you really loved me you will think this through”
“I already thought this through, I’m sorry Vusani but we have to go our separate ways”
“You will never find a man like me. I respected you from day 1. This is how you repay me?
Thanks a lot”
“I have to go”
“Who’s stopping you? You already made the decision, haven’t you? Go!”
“Goodbye Vusani”
“I’m not a bitter man but Lord knows I curse you. You will never find the right man, you will have
problems with your love life”
“How can you be so cruel?”
“Goodbye Yoliswa, close the door on your way out”
“You’re surely a bitter boy not a man! Go fuck yourself, little boy!”
“And you’re the bigger person right now Yoliswa?”

I left angrily. It wasn’t supposed to end like that but it did and I wasn’t happy about it. It was
really dark, I went home. My cousin was the only person watching tv in the lounge.

“Hey cuz”, I threw myself on the couch.

“Where have you been girlie?” Asked Asisipho.
“I was at my boyfriend’s house or shall I say ex boyfriend’s house”, I said.
“What? You guys broke up and I’m only knowing about this right now? Yoliswa you can surely
keep a secret”, she said.
“We broke up this evening, nothing old about it”, I said.
“Oh, I didn’t know. I’m sorry to hear this, you two made a cute couple”, she said.
“These things do happen. Anyway, where’s everyone else?” I looked around.
“Gogo is sleeping, Aphiwe is at his father’s parent’s house and Mbulelo is out, you know him”,
she said.
“Okay”, I grabbed the remote.
“Your plate is in the microwave”, she said.
“Okay, thank you Asisipho”
“Are you ready for tomorrow?”
“Yeah, I am”
“You don’t look happy”
“I just broke up with my boyfriend”
“Understandable”
“I’m happy that finally this day is nearing. I just want to get this over and done with, you know?”
“Yes, I just wish you the best of luck. I hope you find your mother or father”
“Let’s hope I do”
“You will”
“Yeah, well…”
“You have to be positive Yoliswa”
“I will be but it’s hard”
“I know but you have to be”
“I don’t want to disappoint everyone”
“You won’t”
“Asisipho, what if I don’t find her? Will Gogo not think this was a waste of her money?”
“Beware of the power of the tongue girlie – ”
“I’m sorry, that was me thinking out loud”
“I have an advice for you”
“And that is?”
“Don’t think such things. Everything will be okay, alright?”
“Yeah”
“Now go take your food and eat. Tomorrow will be a long, long day”
“Thank you Asisipho”
“What for?”
“For everything, you’re like my big sister. Thank you for everything”
“I would also like to thank you for being a great younger sister”

Asisipho is like my older sister, I love her so much.

The next day, everything was ready. I said my goodbyes to my friends and family. I took a taxi
to the train station where I took a 10am train to Johannesburg. I packed a photo of my mother
so that people recognise her. My main aim was to go to where my mother worked, I had a small
piece of paper with the address and name, basically everything on it.
The train ride was long and tiring. I couldn’t eat because I was nervous. The train arrived in
Johannesburg at 8am the following day. When I stepped out, the air smelt differently compared
to East London. Almost a scent of sin and desperation. The city was huge, there was a lot of
noise. I looked around, what did I get myself into? I asked myself. I saw a bench and I went to
sit on it just to take everything in. I cautiously took out my phone and I made a quick phone call
back home notifying them that I arrived in Johannesburg. A few minutes later I saw a group of
four coming towards me. The group consisted of three boys and a girl, they looked roughly my
age. I convinced myself that they were just passing but my eyes met the eyes of a member who
was walking in front.
“Get your ass up”, the guy said rudely. I was so afraid, I quickly stood up.
“Where are you from?” The guy asked. I was so scared, I didn’t answer him.
“Are you deaf?” He asked.
The girl surrounded me, “I say she’s from Durban, she looks zulu”, she said.
“Bom bom bom bom bom bayethe inkosi”, they mockingly sang.
Laughter erupted, I was just standing there.
“I’m from East London in the Eastern Cape”, I said with slight anger. I could hear them stop
laughing one by one.
“You came here to steal our men?” The girl asked.
“No”, I quickly replied. How could she even insinuate that! I heard a voice ordering the group to
leave. They stood up and they left.
“Don’t mind them”, this mysterious guy said. “Are you okay?” He asked.
“Yes”, I replied.
“They’re my friends, don’t mind their crazy antics”, he said. He left, I sat on the bench to catch
my breathe.

A few minutes later I was holding the piece of paper, asking anyone who crossed my path
where Diners was located. After what seemed like forever, I got directions to a small restaurant
called Diners. My mother worked there ten years ago. I made my way to the small restaurant, I
wished I could see my mother there.
“Can I help you?” A petite black waitress asked me.
I took out my mother’s photo, I was so clumsy I dropped my cellphone. “I’m looking for this
woman”, I showed her the photo.
“I don’t know her, did she say she works here?” The lady asked.
“She worked here 10 years ago, I don’t know if she still does”, I replied.
“Let me get the manager, maybe she might know her”, the lady disappeared.

I waited for her for close to 15 minutes. Finally, an old white woman appeared.
“Hello”, she greeted with a smile on her face.
“Hello. I just want to ask if you know this woman”, I showed her the picture. “Last time I checked
she worked here, that was 10 years ago by the way”, I added.
“What’s her name?” She asked.
“Nomsa Gaxa – Nomsa Beatrice Gaxa”, I replied.
“Beatrice? Oh, I remember her. She left the restaurant 6 years ago”, she said.
“Oh”, I was disappointed.
“She went to work in my cousin’s bakery shop called Matt’s Bakery”, she said.
“Can you please give me the address?” My hope was lit again.
“Okay, do you have a pen with you?” She wrote the address down.
“Thank you very much”, I said.
“You’re welcome”, she smiled.

I felt my body tingle, the thought of finding her in the bakery was magnificent. I was battling with
what to do when I see her, must I hug her or ask why she never came back. I made my way to
the bakery, it was a small bakery.
There was a white young lady and an old white man working.
“Good morning and welcome to Matt’s bakery. What would you like this morning?” The young
lady was so friendly.
“I’m looking for someone”, I said.
“Can I help you?” The old man asked.
“I’m looking for Nomsa Beatrice Gaxa, I heard she left Diners to work here”, I said.
“Beatrice? There’s no one by the name of Beatrice Gata – G- Gaxa who works here”, he said.
“Did anyone by that name ever work here?” I asked.
“Uhm…yes. This bakery has had two people by that name. One passed away a year after
working for us and the other, oh boy, I don’t really know what happened after she left us”, the
old man looked at me with oh-so-sorry eyes. I won’t lie, I was really disappointed.
“Okay, thank you very much”, I left the bakery disappointed.

Where to from here? The sun was hidden behind the clouds, almost like it was portraying my
faded hope. I don’t have a place to stay, this was all a mistake. I could just take a train home
right now and forget this ever happened but my cousin’s words were ringing in my ear. I had to
be positive, maybe I will can find her as soon as tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.
In the meantime, I had to find a place to sleep.

#2: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

My feet were sore from walking around looking for a cheap place to stay. It’s either the place is
expensive or the building is occupied. I went to sit on a bench at a park. Minutes after I was
there, three girls went to sit on the bench next to mine. They were laughing and talking out loud,
I heard one of the girls talking about finding a fourth person to move in with them. I didn’t want
to seem like I was listening to their conversation but I was so desperate. I took a long breath in
and I went over to them.
“I don’t mean to invade your conversation but I was looking for a place to stay all morning and I
heard you guys talking about wanting a fourth person to move in”, I said.
The girls looked at each other.
“What’s your name?” One girl asked.
“I’m Yoliswa”, I replied.
“Where are you from?” The girl asked.
“I’m from East London but I came her to…look for a job”, I said.
“I’m Vanessa, this is Puleng and this is Sihle”, she introduced me to her friends. “You can come
stay with us, you look completely harmless”, said Puleng.
“Are those your stuff?” Asked Vanessa.
“Oh yeah”, I went to take my bags from the bench.
“We often come here just to cool off but we can go and show you the apartment”, said Vanessa.

They told me it wasn’t that far so we took a walk. Vanessa seemed like she was the leader, she
was a beautiful, tall and skinny light skinned girl. Puleng was also beautiful, she was a short
chubby red bone with big beautiful eyes. Sihle was calm, she was also beautiful. She wasn’t tall
nor short, she had a beauty spot on her chin.
We finally arrived. The apartment was okay, it was really big enough for four people although it
was messy.
“Mind the mess”, Vanessa kicked a pair of jeans.
“Trust me, I’m used to this”, I lied.
“We should show her where she’ll be sleeping”, said Sihle.
“Follow me”, Vanessa led the way.
They showed me my bed, I was going to share a bedroom with Sihle. The bedroom had two
single beds, Sihle’s bed was neat, teddy bears were neatly stacked.
“A girl left us a few days ago, she left without saying a word. Well, she wrote a stupid letter, we
just hope you don’t pull that stunt”, said Vanessa.
“I would never do that”, I said.
The girls looked at each other, they were communicating using their eyes. Vanessa cleared her
throat, “Can we talk about rent money? When are you paying? Do you even have money?” She
asked. I giggled, “Yes, how much is the rent money?” I asked.
“R750”, replied Puleng. “The whole apartment is R3000 but we equally divide the rent money.
It’s cheap compared to other apartments you would get around here”, she added.
I paused for a while, “R750? I…I only have R500”, I said.
“So you came to Johannesburg hoping to find a place and feed yourself with only R500? What
are you? A cheapskate?” Vanessa wasn’t pleased at all.
“Or I can take my bags and leave”, I said.
“Look, the rent money is due two weeks from now. You can look for a job, everyone wins”, said
Sihle.
“I guess so”, Puleng looked at Vanessa.
“You should deposit 50% of the money you have right now. What if you take advantage of
staying here, maybe leave without paying?” Vanessa was stressing herself.
“I thought you said I look harmless. Come on, I won’t do that. Okay – okay, I will deposit the
R250”, I said.
“Great, welcome home”, said Vanessa.

I payed the deposit. The apartment needed some serious cleaning. I got to know the girls a little
bit more. Vanessa was 20 years old, she was working as a waitress at some fancy restaurant.
Puleng was also 20 years old, she had a baby boy who was 9 months. She was a
photographer. Sihle was 20 years old and a media student doing her final year. After a few
laughs, Vanessa came with a half full bottle of vodka.
“Let’s play a drinking game”, she said.
I checked the clock, “It’s only 2 o’ clock”, I said.
“My dear, it’s never too early or late for some vodka”, she said.
“Truth or dare!” Puleng shouted enthusiastically.
“No, how about Never Ever Have I Ever?” Sihle suggested.
“I love Sihle’s idea more”, said Vanessa.
“You have to count me out”, I said.
“Arg! Such a party pooper”, Vanessa teased.
The girls played a drinking game, they were so loud. I watched them act crazy, they’re a crazy
bunch.

Hours later, Vanessa and Puleng left. I was only left with Sihle.
“You should ask Vanessa to put in a good word for you”, said Sihle.
“No, I don’t know about that”, I said.
“Come on, do you seriously think this place has unoccupied jobs? Jobs are really scarce”, said
Sihle.
“I don’t want anyone to sugar coat what I’m about. I don’t need favours from anyone”, I said.
“I can tell you’re stubborn”, Sihle smiled. “I love your attitude but this is Johannesburg. You need
people”, she added.

I had a long conversation with Sihle, she told me that she met Vanessa and Puleng in
Johannesburg. After passing matric, she went to Johannesburg to study further, she met
Vanessa and Puleng at the bus station. They were looking for girls to move in with them.
Vanessa and Puleng’s friendship goes way back from high school days. Sihle gave me an
impression Vanessa always wants to be the boss. When I first saw her, I could tell what type of
person she is. My first impression of Sihle was that she’s a quiet girl but she’s really not.

Vanessa and Puleng came back in the evening with two guys and a KFC bucket.
“This is Kwame and Hakeem. And guys this is Yoliswa”, Vanessa introduced.
They were foreigners, tall, dark and handsome.
“Hi Yoliswa”, Kwame shook my hand.
“Hey”, Hakeem kissed my hand.
“Aren’t they gentlemen? They bought us dinner, how cool is that? Make yourselves
comfortable”, Vanessa pointed to the couch.
The guys looked like regular guests, they were friendly with the girls.
“Why are you quiet?” Hakeem whispered in my ear.
“I’m just thinking”, I said.
“You’re beautiful”, he complimented.
“Thank you”, I smiled.
“Are xhosa girls this beautiful? Wow”, he said.
There was a knock on the door, Vanessa opened the door. Two girls entered the apartment.
“Nosipho! When did you arrive?” Hakeem went to hug this Nosipho girl.
I was so lost, I saw people exchanging hugs.
“Mbali and Nosipho, meet Yoliswa”, introduced Vanessa.
I hugged these girls, they seemed really friendly.

In no time, we were laughing and having fun. It was like I knew them for a very long time. Liquor
was flowing.
“This is for Yoliswa! Welcome to Johannesburg!” Screamed Sihle.
I couldn’t believe total strangers could do such a beautiful and thoughtful gesture. I was tipsy, I
forgot about my mom and at that time that was good.
“I dare you to kiss Kwame”, Puleng dared Vanessa.
We all chanted, “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”
They kissed and we screamed.

We played a series of drinking games, we had really had fun. Hakeem kept complimenting me
the whole time, I think it had something to do with him being drunk. We had a great night.
In the morning, I woke up on the couch. The other girls also passed out on the couch, Sihle was
sleeping on the floor. I saw Vanessa talking to Hakeem outside, I went to drink some water. I
had a terrible hangover, I heard footsteps, it was Nosipho.
“Good morning”, she greeted.
“Morning”, I greeted back.
“So where are you exactly from?” She asked.
“I’m from East London”, I replied.
“Oh, I’m from Tsomo”, she said.
“When did you move to Johannesburg?” I asked.
“It’s been a while but I live in Durban now. I don’t know if I will move here permanently”
“Nosipho, don’t you study?”
 “I went back to do my grade 12, I passed and I wanted to study social work but I’m having a
change of heart”
“That happens a lot”
“A part of me doesn’t want to live here since this place has terrible memories. Hakeem and
Kwame were my ex’s friends, my friend Mbali and I also have a history of bad tension between
us but we’re cool now. Her ex is good friends with Hakeem and Kwame, it’s like everyone I meet
has some connection with these people I used to know”
“What are you doing in Johannesburg?”
“Uh, I work as a waitress”
“I’m also thinking of finding myself a job”
“You should try out Jump Cafe, I work there and they’re hiring. Vanessa also works there”
“I will, before you leave can you please write down the address?”
“Okay, you will find a job because you’re already pretty. That place is filled with pretty girls”
“I will try my luck”
“Let me wake Mbali up, I’ll take a shower at my place”
“Nice meeting you Nosipho”
“Nice meeting you too Yoliswa”

This Nosipho character was intriguing, she seemed like she had experience. I was looking
forward to meeting her again.
In the afternoon, I went to Jump Cafe to look for a job. The place was packed, I saw Vanessa,
she ran to me.
“What are you doing here?” She asked.
“I just came to try my luck, you know, try for a job or something”, I said.
“Okay, good luck”, she went back to do her job.
I was told to go to the manager’s office. He was a mature white man. He was busy on the
phone, he signaled me to sit down. After the phone call he asked how he can help me, I told him
I was looking for a job. He interviewed me, asking a few questions. The questions ranging from
my work experience in the field, my recent job, my schooling and my abilities. I was so nervous
but I think I did great. He told me that if I don’t get a phone call within two weeks then I wasn’t
successful.
Just to kill time, I went to a book shop. It was two roads away from the apartment I shared with
the girls. The book shop was small but the books were packed. When I entered the shop, a guy
came to assist me. He smiled as if he knew me.
“I see you settled in quite well”, he smiled.
“Sorry, do I know you?” I was confused.
“Pardon me, I helped you yesterday. Remember that group that gave you a hard time at the
train station?” He reminded me.
“Oh, sorry – I forgot to thank you”, I said.
“It’s okay. I’m Metaphor”, he introduced himself.
“I’m Yoliswa”, I said.
“Purchasing a book?” He asked.
“No, I just came to check out the books. I was bored and figured, why not”, I said.
“They all come here when they’re bored. Apparently this place kills time. I can’t remember the
last time someone purchased a book here”, he said.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to – ” I tried explaining myself but he cut me short and said, “That was
me being sarcastic”.
“Oh”, I felt awkward.
“You like books yeah?” He asked.
“Yes”, I replied.
“There’s a book club that meets every Sunday at 5 o’ clock. You should go and mingle with
other avid readers”, he said.
“I don’t know about that. I’m new to town and I don’t know much about this place”, I said.
“That’s a great opportunity to meet new people. Maybe make new friends, I’ll be there”, he said.
“Are they meeting here?” I asked.
“This place is too small. We meet in the third shop from here”, he pointed at the shop.
“I don’t know”, I said unconvincingly.
“It’s your choice”, he shrugged.
Metaphor was very talkative, I couldn’t believe he lived on the streets. He didn’t tell me how he
ended on the streets but he seemed like an intelligent person.
I went back to the apartment, Sihle was watching tv. I went to join her.
Hours later…
There wasn’t much to do, I was bored. I decided to go to the book club. Metaphor was right, I
have to meet new people. If I want to find my mother, I have to know a lot of people. When I got
to the book club, only four people were there. Metaphor came to me.
“Good to see you Yoliswa”, he was excited.
“Good to see you too”, I looked around. I never really been to any book club but I know there
should at least be more people.
“Where’s everyone?” I asked.
“This is everyone”, he said.
“Oh? I thought…never mind”, I said.
“I hope you stick around. We have a lot of people who come into that door and ask, ‘where’s
everyone’? Then we never see them ever again”, he said.
“I’m not promising you anything”, I said.
“Let me introduce you to everyone”, he led the way.
Metaphor introduced me to Asanda, Taylor, Steven and Aphiwe. I won’t lie, I regretted making
the decision of coming to this book club, it looked dead. Everyone except me explained what
their current book was about. Steven and Asanda’s explanation was long and boring. Books
were recommended, books were read – my mind was elsewhere. What seemed like a long hour
and thirty minutes came to an end. Everyone exchanged goodbye hugs and handshakes.
Metaphor decided to walk me.

“Had a great time?” He asked enthusiastically.

I didn’t want to disappoint him, I replied, “Yes”.
“You should come back next week. We were discussing maybe meeting more than once a week
before you came in”, he said. “What do you think?” He asked.
“I’m a newcomer, I don’t see how my opinion matters”, I said.
“True but since you had a great time, I figured you would like to meet more than once”, he said.
“How do you deal?” I asked.
“Deal with what?” He was confused.
“Living on the streets and working in the book shop”
“Yoliswa, I’ve been doing this for 3 years. It’s nothing”
“Nothing? You’re living on the streets”
“Before you judge me, first find out what I’m about. Do you think it was by choice? Most of us
live here because of circumstance”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you upset”
“Where do you live?”
“I can walk myself home, thank you for being kind enough to walk me home”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, Metaphor”
“Hope to see you around”
“Bye”
“Cheers”

When I got to the apartment, the girls were getting ready. I was confused, they said they were
getting ready to go to Hakeem’s pool party. They invited me to go with and I didn’t decline the
offer. I was having a bad day. I also got ready for the pool party. The girls told me that the
theme is all black everything. Luckily black is my favourite colour and I have tons of black
clothing. We all dressed up for the party, everyone was looking great.
When we got to Hakeem’s house, it was packed. I saw Nosipho and Mbali there, I was more
excited to see Nosipho. It feels like I’ve been in Johannesburg for ages. I was going to say hi to
Nosipho but Hakeem grabbed me.
“Hey beautiful”, he hugged me. He smelt really good. “I forgot to tell you yesterday”, he added.
“You have a beautiful place”, I complimented. His house was really beautiful.
“More beautiful than you? I doubt”, he was flirting with me.
Vanessa called Hakeem.
“See you around”, said Hakeem as he went to Vanessa. This was the perfect opportunity to go
to Nosipho, she was standing alone.
“Hey you”, I hugged her.
“You good?” She asked.
“Yeah”, I replied. “How are you?” I asked.
“I’m okay. How did everything go?” She asked.
“I’m only waiting for a phone call now”, I said.
“That’s good”, she said.
I had a great conversation with her, she’s a beautiful girl inside-out.

An hour later, I was tipsy. Sihle told me that Nosipho is crying, I was baffled. I went to check up
on her and she was really drunk, she confided in me. I couldn’t hear half of what she was saying
but she said something about Hakeem intentionally hurting her. I went to get Hakeem, he was
dumbfounded at Nosipho’s accusations. Apparently Hakeem’s friend was in town for a day and
he decided to show up at his place, he’s also Nosipho’s ex boyfriend. I think he’s name is
Raymond but Nosipho was pissed at Hakeem. While they were sorting this issue, I went to
dance with the girls.

“Why is she being dramatic? If she’s truly over this guy why is she acting this way?” Vanessa
expressed.
“I decided to leave her with Hakeem to sort this childish thing. One thing I don’t tolerate is
childish bullshit”, I said.
“Is she even over this guy? Where’s this guy? If he’s cute, see you later ladies”, Puleng joked.
“Go for it my friend!” Vanessa encouraged Puleng.
“Where’s Mbali?” Asked Sihle.
“Don’t ask us about Mbali we want this guy”, Puleng laughed.

Puleng and Vanessa went to ask Kwame where’s Nosipho’s ex. I thought they were joking.
Hakeem came to me.
“Why are girls full of drama?” He asked.
“Did you sort that out?” I asked.
“Yeah, I took her inside. She’s with Mbali”, he said.
“Does she always act like this when she’s drunk?” I asked curiously.
“I don’t remember the last time I partied with her. Enough about her, tell me about you”, he said.
“What about me?” I asked.
“Why are you so beautiful? We can start discussing that”, he said.
Kwame called Hakeem, apparently something broke. He went to fix that. I looked for the girls,
Sihle was talking to some guy. Vanessa and Puleng were sitting on some guy’s lap. They were
really drunk, I went to them.
“Your friends are wasted”, the guy laughed.
“Let’s go inside guys”, I tried to get them off the guy’s lap.
“I never saw you girls before”, the guy said.
“We also never say you before”, said Vanessa.
“What are your names?” The guy asked.
“I’m Vanessa, this is Puleng and this is Yoliswa”, said Vanessa. “What’s your name?” Asked
Vanessa.
“I already told you, I’m Raymond”, he said.
“So you’re Nosipho’s ex?” I asked.
“Yeah but I’m not here to discuss my relationship with her. I already heard about the
waterworks”, he said.
Nosipho saw Vanessa and Puleng sitting on Raymond’s lap and she called them snakes. There
was a huge argument between Nosipho, Vanessa and Puleng. I went elsewhere, I was so tipsy.
The pool party was fun but there was too much drama. Hakeem signaled me to meet him inside,
I went there. He was seated in his lounge.
“I hate everyone who disrupted our time alone”, he said.
“This is your pool party, you’re the man to call for everything”, I said.
“You’re beautiful”, he whispered in my ear.
“You keep saying that”, I said.
“That’s because you’re beautiful. Can I have you phone number?” He asked.
“I don’t give my number to people I don’t know”, I said.
“You can get to know me”, he said.
“That doesn’t sound bad”, I said.
There was an awkward silence, suddenly he leaned forward for a kiss.
“What are you doing?” I leaned back.
“This is a beautiful moment”, he said.
“Do you go around kissing girls who give you attention?” I asked.
“No. I’m sorry – I’m so tipsy”, he said.
“I’m also tipsy”, I said.
“What are you in Jozi Yoliswa?”
“I came to look for a job”
“How’s job hunting?”
“I only went to look for a job in just one place”
“You should try Diamond Lounge”
“What’s that?”
“It’s a club and it’s hiring. They hire girls like you – beautiful girls”
“I like partying but I don’t see myself working there”
“My friend is the manager there. If you have a change of heart, you can always talk to me”
“It’s okay, I don’t see myself working there”
“It’s your choice”
“What do you do for a living Hakeem?”
 “Me, Kwame and my other friends make t-shirts. We also have our small businesses at the
side”
“I hope it has nothing to do with illegal business”
“It’s all legal”

I had a great time but I was tired. Hakeem hired a cab for us since he was too drunk to drive.
The girls were drunk, I wasn’t that drunk compared to them.
I was enjoying my time in Jozi so far but I will look for my mother once I got any leads on her
whereabouts.

#3: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

A week later in Johannesburg felt like a whole month. The girls have been good to me, it feels
like I knew them for a very long time. We even call ourselves, “VPSY”, pronounced Veep-see.
The name is made out of the first letters in our names. In the beginning I liked Nosipho but as
the days went by, the girls disclosed things about her which made me dislike her. I still haven’t
gotten that phone call from the restaurant manager.

I heard Hakeem’s voice. He asked where I was, Vanessa told him I was in the bedroom. He
knocked on my door.
“Come in”, I said.
“You just woke up?” He asked.
“No”, I replied.
“Good morning”, he greeted.
“Morning”, I greeted back.
“I’m not staying, I have to be somewhere in like, five minutes”, he said.
“What brings you here?” I asked him.
“Well, my investor invited me and Kwame to his house for dinner. There will be other
businessmen there who happen to be his friends. Uhm…so he said we must bring dates. I was
wondering if you can accompany me tonight”, he said nervously.
“Okay”, I shook my head.
“I’m happy to hear that. Thank you”, he said.
“Now I have to find something formal to wear”, I said.
“I will come and pick you up in the afternoon, we’ll go shopping for a nice outfit for you”, he said.
“Sounds great”, I said.
“Okay then, let me get going”, he said.
“Who will be Kwame’s date?” I asked.
“He said he’ll ask Vanessa”, he replied.
“Oh, alright”, I said.
“See you later”, he left.

I took a long shower since we don’t have a bathtub. After showering, I took a long walk, just
roaming around. I had my mother’s photo in my pocket. Johannesburg is a big city, finding my
mother is going to be a challenge, a hard one. As I was walking, I saw Metaphor. He was
wearing a white shirt and a pair of jeans. He looked neat for a person who lives on the street.
“Hey stranger”, he said.
“Hey Metaphor”, I wasn’t really in the mood.
“I was hoping you would come back to the book club”, he said.
“I have better things to do than being in a book club”, I was annoyed.
“You’re just like them. The numbers influenced your decision to not come back, right?” He
asked.
“It’s not even about the numbers, I don’t see myself there. It’s like I’m out of place”, I said.
“I’ll respect your decision. Where are you off to?” He asked.
“Somewhere, I don’t know where but I’m just going somewhere”, I replied.
“Can I accompany you to wherever you’re going? Please? I’m really bored”, he said.
“I don’t know man”, I walked away.
He followed me, “Okay, I insist”, he said.
I had no choice but to let him accompany me. I didn’t even know where I was going. My
mother’s photo accidentally fell, Metaphor picked it up.
“Who’s this?” He examined the picture. “It’s none of your business”, I tried snatching the photo
but he quickly kept it out of my reach.
“Give me my photo”, I said.
“Who’s this?” He asked again.
“It’s my mother, now give me this”, I snatched it. I walked away. Metaphor ran after me.
“Are you looking for her?” He asked.
“I think you should go back to your friends”, I changed the subject.
“It’s a big city, you need people – lots of people to help you”, he said.
“Metaphor why are you here? I mean, why do you care so much about a total stranger you only
met at the book shop?” I asked.
“I just want to protect you”, he said.
“I don’t need your protection, Metaphor. Tell me, what else do you want from me?”
“Nothing”
“Nothing?”
“Yes, nothing”
“I can’t believe you”
“Yoliswa, look, I can’t explain why I have a soft spot for you – ”
“Soft spot?”
“Let me finish. I have a soft spot for you, I do. My instinct was to protect you since the day I first
saw you, you know I helped you out at the train station. I can’t explain it, do you believe in fate?”
“No”
“Oh…but I can help you find your mother”
“Metaphor, I – ”
“I know a lot of people in Jozi, I got connections”
“Where will we start? I don’t have any leads at the moment”
“My friend works at Home Affairs, I can ask him to check your mom in the database”
“Her former employer said two people by the name of Beatrice once worked there. One passed
away, I’m praying it’s not my mom”
“What’s your mom’s full name?”
“Nomsa Beatrice Gaxa”
“Okay, I’ll ask my friend to run that name onto the computer. I’ll let you know on the findings.
You should direct me to where you stay”
“It’s okay, we can meet at the book shop”
“Book shop? You only been there once”
“I can give you my phone number”
“Okay by me”

I had a nice conversation with Metaphor. He told me his real name is Tshepo and that he has
been living on the streets for close to three years. After his mother passed away, his uncle went
to stay with them. He abused him and his brother mentally and physically. He ran away from
home to live on the streets, his family doesn’t get along. His younger brother was sent to an
orphanage. Metaphor doesn’t know which orphanage took his brother but he says once he gets
a good job and makes reasonable money, he’ll a find flat to rent then look for his brother.
Metaphor is a smart guy.

When I got to the apartment, Hakeem was talking to Vanessa outside the apartment.
“Finally, I’ve been waiting for a while now”, said Hakeem.
“I’m sorry”, I apologised.
“See you later Vee. Let’s go”, Hakeem led the way.

I was excited to go shopping after a long time. We finally arrived at the mall, Hakeem saw his
friend, Rashidi there.
“Hey mate”, they exchanged handshakes.
“Hey girl”, greeted Rashidi.
I responded, “Hey”.
They started speaking their language, I didn’t understand a thing. They were laughing, I was so
irritated. Rashidi finally left.

We roamed around the mall, entering every clothing store that caught our eyes. Finally, we
entered a boutique. It had beautiful clothes. I tried out a few dresses and shoes. After not more
than fifteen minutes after walking into the boutique, I found a red velvet dress and silver
glittering stilettos. The outfit was perfect. Hakeem bought a maroon suit and a white collar chain
shirt. The outfit looked really good on him. He said he wanted to trim his hair so we went to the
barbershop. After that we went to the salon, I wanted a weave. Hakeem waited for me as I had
my hair done.

After getting everything we wanted, we went to eat at a restaurant.

“Did you enjoy your afternoon?” Hakeem asked with a broad smile.
“Yeah”, I replied.
“I also enjoyed my afternoon with you. I can’t wait for tonight”, he said.
“Me too”, I said.
“Still haven’t gotten that job yet?” He asked.
“Uhm…not yet”, I replied.
“They’re stupid. Why would they want such a beautiful girl to wait this long? If I was them I
would hire you on the spot”
“I don’t know. Maybe I should start looking for a job”
“Yoliswa I told you my friend Rashidi is the manager at Diamond Lounge, he can hook you up
with a job”
“I don’t want to work in a club, how many times must I tell you?”
“Yoliswa that place pays a lot of money, you can rent your own place”
“I don’t care about that”
“It’s your choice”
“Yes and you must respect it Hakeem”
“I just want the best for you”
“I appreciate that but I know what I want”
“Fair”

After eating at the restaurant, Hakeem drove me to the apartment. I went in with my shopping
bags and the girls were really excited to see what I bought. When I showed them, they went
insane.
“This is beautiful my friend”, gushed Puleng.
“This is lovely but wait till you see what Kwame bought me”, Vanessa went to her room.
“This is beautiful. I can’t wait to see you wearing the dress”, said Sihle.
Vanessa came out of her room with a blue dress, it was beautiful.
“Wow, this dress is beautiful”, I said.
“I know, right? This was custom made for me”, said Vanessa.

Me and Vanessa got ready for the dinner date. We looked beautiful, it was like we were going to
a matric ball. We waited for the boys to come fetch us. We waited for a while.
A limo pulled up, we couldn’t believe it. We were jumping up and down, Hakeem and Kwame
came out. We were surprised. Hakeem walked me to the limo and Kwame walked Vanessa.
Puleng and Sihle were taking pictures of us as if we were celebrities.
When we got to the investor’s house, we saw a few cars parked. The house was a mansion,
everyone looked great. Hakeem introduced me to his investor, Mr Arnold. He was a 53-year-old
Russian based in Sandton. He also introduced me to the co-owner of the club he’s been talking
about, he was Martin. I had a conversation with Martin, he was engaged. He told me that he
bought the club from a guy named King Pin. It was a strip club called Poker Face but they
renovated the club and they renamed it Diamond Lounge. He also introduced me to his lovely
fiancée. I spent the night mingling with businessmen and their significant others, I felt really
important.
Finally, we were all seated around a big table. Dinner was specially made by experienced chefs.
The food tasted wonderful, it was just food orgasm. I had a great time, I won’t lie. Hakeem led
me to a room full of books.
“Hakeem, what if Mr Arnold find us here”, I looked around.
“Finally, we’re alone”, he said.
I went through the books.
“Can I have your attention?” Hakeem took the book out of my hand. “Can I have your attention
now?” He asked.
“Thanks for choosing me to be your date”, I smiled.
“I had to choose you”, he took a step closer.
“Oh”
“Yoliswa, my beautiful queen”
“Queen? Okay”
“Yes you are. When can I see you again?”
“When you visit me and the girls”
“You and the girls? Are you kidding me? I want to see you not them”
“I have to tell you something Hakeem. I’m not looking to get into anything here, I recently broke
up with my boyfriend”
“I wasn’t planning to get into anything with you…yet”
“Yet?”
“I just want to get to know you first. Don’t you want to get to know me too?”
“I do want to know what you’re about”
“So when can I see you again Yoliswa?”
“I don’t know. Maybe tomorrow?”
“That would be great. I want to show you around, I want to be your tourist guide”
“Oh yeah? Sounds good”
“Let’s get out of here”

I had a great time. The limo dropped us off at our apartment. The time was 11pm.
My stay in Johannesburg so far has been nothing but great.

#4: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

I woke up smiling from ear to ear in the morning. Yesterday’s dinner at the investor’s mansion
was like waking up into a dream. I was in a good mood, Hakeem sent me a good morning text.
After getting Hakeem’s text, I got a phone call from a private number. I answered the phone call
and it was the manager of Jump Cafe. He told me what I wanted to hear, “You got the job”, I
screamed with excitement. He told me I was going to work part-time, I was happy either way. I
was going to start as soon as the next day. Finally I will be able to look after myself and my
family. I shared the good news with my new friends, they were happy for me. I felt like having a
mini celebration, I gave Hakeem a call, his phone was on voicemail. The girls suggested we
have breakfast at a restaurant, it sounded really expensive but Vanessa said she will take care
of everything.

I took a long shower. After I was done showering, Sihle told me that Hakeem called and she told
him I was still showering. I decided to return his phone call.
“Good morning Hakeem”, I laid on the bed on my stomach, swinging my legs.
“Hey Yoliswa. I saw your missed call, is everything okay?” He asked.
“Yeah, I just wanted to share good news with you. Remember I told you about the job at the
restaurant? Well, I got a call, I’ll be working as a waitress part-time”, I shared enthusiastically.
“Really? That’s amazing. I’m happy for you”, he said.
“Now I’m going to eat out with my friends, have a mini celebration and stuff”, I said.
“Sounds fun, I wish I can join you guys but I’m really busy at work”, he said.
“It’s okay, you do your work”, I said.
“I don’t think I will see you today, I have loads of work to do”, he said.
“It’s okay really”, I said.
“Okay, enjoy your mini celebration. See you soon”, he said.
“Alright, bye”, I ended the call.

Just about ten minutes after giving Hakeem a call, I saw a tall, well-built white man entering the
apartment. He had tattoos, his hair was spiky, he was wearing a white vest showing his tattoos
and muscles. He was also wearing jeans and flip flops. Vanessa hugged this guy.
“Yoliswa this is Frankie, he’s a good friend of mine. He doesn’t speak good english”, said
Vanessa.
“Hi…I’m Frankie, friend of Vanessa”, said Frankie with an italian accent.
“I’m Yoliswa”, I shook his hand.
“You new girl I hear”, he said.
“Yes”, I nodded.
“Vanessa give me a call…er…she says, ‘Frankie come over and join us for breakfast’. I
was…er…eat the banana but I left it there on kitchen counter. I can’t cook, my mom is the good
cook. When I woke up, I didn’t know what to eat. I was er…happy for the call”, he said in his
italian accent.
Frankie was very talkative, his broken english was really annoying though. I had to make sense
of what he was saying at times. Frankie had a beautiful Range Rover, he drove us to the
restaurant. When we got to the restaurant, it looked really fancy. We got in.

“This is er…beauty – beautiful”, said Frankie looking around.

“I knew you would like it”, said Vanessa. She sat next to Frankie. “Breakfast is on Frankie
ladies”, Vanessa told us. Sihle looked at me and winked. “So we can order anything?” Asked
Sihle.
“Babe, anything”, replied Vanessa. I wasn’t complaining. We looked at the menu and order what
we wanted. I got to know Frankie a bit more. He grew up in Italy and he moved to South Africa
four years ago. His parents own a massive Italian restaurant in Pretoria. He was born with a
silver spoon in his mouth. He talked about himself more often in his broken english. He was very
arrogant and selfish. Apparently he met Vanessa in his parents’ restaurant in Pretoria.

After spending hours in the restaurant, we went our separate ways. Vanessa had a 10pm shift,
Puleng went to work and Sihle went to college. I was lonely, I wanted to go to the book shop but
something told me not to go there. I couldn’t wait to go to work. I went to window shop at the
mall and I met Nosipho carrying shopping bags. I haven’t seen her since Hakeem’s party.
“Nosipho, hi”, I greeted her.
“Hey”, she replied
“How are you?” I asked.
“I’m doing good and you?” She asked.
“I’m okay. I got the job by the way”, I said.
“Oh”, she said. She didn’t seem happy.
“Okay then, let me get going”, I said.
“Wait – “, she stopped me. “I heard you said some nasty things about me when I was drunk”,
she said. I was surprised.
“What?” I was just speechless. “Who told you that?” I asked.
“It doesn’t matter but I just want to make one thing clear, I’m not stupid”, she said.
“I never said you were stupid”, I said.
“You go around talking shit about me, you don’t know me and what I went through”, she said.
“Nosipho, what did I say about you?”
“You don’t know what you said now?”
“The only thing I remember saying was that I hate the way you acted when you were drunk.
You were mad at Hakeem for inviting your ex, if you’re over him, why did you get angry? I was
really annoyed by your behaviour that’s all”
“If you knew what I went through with that guy, you would understand why I didn’t want him
there. Hakeem knows what his friend did to me, that’s one of the things that got me angry”
“So he shouldn’t have invited his own friend because of one person who didn’t want him there?
That’s insane”
“You don’t know me Yoliswa, if you knew everything you would understand”
“What did Raymond do to you?”
“I don’t want to talk about it. You will probably hear a lot of things about me, that’s if you haven’t
heard already”
“I’ve heard everything”
“Why am I not surprised? Your friends had a discussion about me, right? They filled you up with
anything and everything you wanted to hear, right? I’m used to this”
“I don’t care about the things you’ve done in the past, it was your decision anyway”
“Whatever, I don’t have time for this childish bullshit. See you at work Yoliswa. Bye”

I didn’t know what to make of that conversation with Nosipho. I knew for a fact Mbali told her
everything me and the girls said about her when she was drunk. I didn’t apologise because I
meant everything I said. I’m not confident about my relationship with Nosipho, we will work in
the same restaurant soon and I’m not ready to be around her most of the time. Maybe when
time goes by, we will get a chance to know each other a little better but in the meantime, I’m not
really feeling her.
I spent most of my afternoon at the mall. I don’t have money, I was just window shopping. I got
an SMS from Hakeem saying he wants to see me and that he’s heading to the apartment. I
quickly rushed to the apartment. On my way to the apartment, I saw Metaphor. He was handing
flyers.
“Hey Yoliswa, here”, he handed me a flyer. “Our small book shop is moving to a new place,
bigger and better”, he said.
“Oh, that’s cool”, I said.
“Yeah, I know right? I spoke to my friend that works at Home Affairs, he agreed to help”, he
said.
“Wow. That’s good to hear. So, what does he want in return?” I asked.
Metaphor laughed, “I got this, okay? Trust me. I know you got trust issues but you can trust
me”.
“So when do you think he will get the info? I want us to meet”, I said.
“I don’t know but I told you, you should give me directions to where you stay so I can go there
and deliver feedback”, he said.
“It’s okay, I will go to the book shop”, I said.
“If you say so, remember we’re moving. The address is on the flyer, not far from where we are
located currently”, he said.
“Okay Metaphor, take care”, I left.
I remembered Hakeem said he’s coming to visit me, I ran to the apartment. When I got there, I
was breathless. I was greeted by loud laughter when I got in, Hakeem was chilling with Vanessa
and Sihle.
“At last you arrived”, said Hakeem.
“I thought you said you were going to be busy the whole day”, I took a seat, I was breathing
heavily.
“What’s up with you? Is someone chasing you? I thought I was going to be busy the whole day
but I’m here now. We can celebrate”, he said.
“Right now?” I asked.
“How about tonight?” Vanessa suggested.
“Sounds good, we can have dinner at some fancy restaurant”, said Hakeem.
“Or go out clubbing”, said Vanessa.
“No clubbing for me tonight, I have to be at work tomorrow”, I said.
“So? I go clubbing most of the time and I go to work the next morning”, said Vanessa.
“Maybe we can go out and have dinner”, said Hakeem.
“Sounds good”, said Sihle.
“Dinner it is”, I said.
Vanessa didn’t like that everyone was against her suggestion. She always likes to be heard,
she’s bossy. I’ve witnessed that for myself. Vanessa and Puleng call each other, “Sweetie”,
they’re tight friends. Before I arrived, Sihle was a loner, now she’s not because we’re pretty
close. We sleep in the same bedroom, I think that is part of the reason why we grew closer.
I was sleepy after roaming around the mall, so I decided to take a nap.

Hours later, Sihle woke me up. The time was 6pm.

“Get ready, we’re going out”, she said.
“Dinner?” I asked.
“Yeah, get ready”, she rushed out of the bedroom. I checked the time, I couldn’t believe I
napped for many hours. Hakeem entered the bedroom.
“Damn girl, you can sleep”, he said.
“I was really tired”, I said.
“We’re going out for dinner. Get ready because we’re leaving in five minutes”, he checked his
wrist watch.
“Okay”, I got out of bed. I quickly got ready then I went to join everyone. We all rode on
Hakeem’s car. He took us to a fancy restaurant. Unlike Vanessa, he didn’t invite anyone to tag
along. When we got to the restaurant, it was really quiet. Nobody was in sight.
“What’s going on here?” Asked Puleng.
“Surprise!” Hakeem shouted enthusiastically.
“Hakeem what’s going on?” Vanessa looked at Hakeem puzzled. Hakeem held my hand and he
led me to a table which was at the corner of the restaurant. “This is all for you”, he whispered in
my ear. The girls stood far from us in amazement.
“I hope you girls don’t mind. I want to have a more intimate dinner with Miss Yoliswa”, said
Hakeem.
“So we tagged along to your date?” Vanessa went to our table.
“She didn’t know about this”, Hakeem defended me.
“This is a pathetic joke, you know that? I don’t have time for this”, Vanessa expressed
dramatically.
“What must happen now?” I asked Vanessa.
“Enjoy your dinner, I’m out”, she walked away. Puleng followed her. Sihle just stood there alone.
“Hakeem I really appreciate the gesture but I can’t have my friend sitting alone while we enjoy
each other’s company”, I said.
“I really wanted us to have dinner together but maybe next time. Let’s join her”, Hakeem stood
up. We went to join Sihle, she was busy on her phone.
“I’m really sorry guys, I can imagine how special this would have been for you”, said Sihle.
“It’s okay”, I said.
“Vanessa is such a drama queen, did she really have to do that? And Puleng? She’s such a
follower”, said Hakeem.
“I’m starting to get sick of her. First she invited her italian friend who can’t speak proper english
to our mini celebration this morning. Now she storms out because we won’t join them for dinner.
This is really childish, I’m sorry”, I said.
“Remember when you showed us the dress Hakeem bought you? She didn’t want all the
spotlight to be on you, she quickly went to fetch her dress and the whole topic changed from
Yoliswa’s dress to Vanessa’s dress. You felt for it, you complimented the dress and talked about
it, I was so mad, I was like, ‘Can’t she see she’s shifting the focus to herself only?’ I was
pissed”, said Sihle.
“Well, she didn’t win tonight”, I said. We all laughed.
“If you stop talking about her right now then she really didn’t win”, said Hakeem. We shifted the
conversation. I couldn’t believe Hakeem hired a restaurant for me. We had an incredible time,
we got home at 12am. I had an early morning so I went to sleep immediately after we got back.
In the morning, the mood was really different. Sihle left for college, I was left with Puleng and
Vanessa. They were calling each other, “Sweetie” and I was annoyed. I couldn’t wait to get out
of the apartment. Subliminal messages were being thrown around, I just kept quiet and I got
ready for my first day at work. Vanessa was off that day, but tomorrow we will be on the same
shift at work which will be awkward if we don’t sort everything between us. I left for work, with
my brave face on and my mood switched manually to happy although I was feeling down.
When I arrived at work, Nosipho was chatting to another girl. This girl looked older. I looked
around, the only person I knew there was Nosipho. The manager came to welcome the new
employees and he told us if we want to know anything we must ask the supervisor, Vicky. After
the manager’s short speech, the doors were officially opened and customers started coming in. I
adjusted my apron, Nosipho came to me.
“Hey”, she saluted.
“Hey”, I saluted back.
“Your shift is ending at 1?” She asked.
“Yeah, yours?” I asked.
“Same time”, she replied.
“Doesn’t everyone’s shift end at 1?” I asked.
“Nope, some will end at 1:30”, she replied.
“Weird”, I said.
“Welcome to Jump Cafe. It’s not a fairy tale, people are really mean. They will give you a tough
time but you have to treat them with respect either way”, she said. “Vicky is a pain in the back.
Oh, she’s coming, make yourself busy”, Nosipho went away. Vicky looked mean.
“Here’s your name tag Yoliswa. When a real one with a pin is made, you will get it”, she said.
“Thanks”, I placed the name tag on my new uniform.
“You look really familiar, have we met before?” She asked.
“I’m new here, I wouldn’t say we’ve met. Maybe you saw me at the mall or you’re mistaking me
for someone else”, I said.
“Or maybe you look like someone familiar. You will be hearing that a lot around here”, she
smiled. Vicky looked mean but she was nice.
“It’s a restaurant after all”, I said.
“Welcome Yoliswa, now get to work”, she patted my shoulder.

I thought being a waitress was an easy job but I couldn’t wait for my five hour shift to end. A tall
black man in a tuxedo walked in. He was carrying a briefcase and newspaper. Nosipho looked
at me and smiled.
“What?” I asked her.
“His name is Tyler – Tyler Ndlovu. He’s a regular customer. The girls have a huge crush on him,
not me though”, said Nosipho.
“Oh”, I said.
“Go take his order although I know he wants Ground Round Steak with salad and potatoes and
also a diet Coke”, said Nosipho.
I went to take this guy’s order. He was reading a newspaper.
“Good day sir, can I take your order?” I asked.
He continued reading the newspaper, without looking at me he said, “I would have a Ground
Round Steak with salad and potatoes – and a diet Coke. Thank you”. I went to the kitchen,
“Table six wants a Ground Round Steak with salad and potatoes and a diet Coke”, I said.
I took the order to this Tyler guy who was serious. He took his food, he didn’t even say thank
you. I went to Nosipho.
“Why do girls have a crush on this rude guy?” I asked.
Nosipho laughed, “He’s just serious, that’s all. You’ll get used to him”, she said.

My first day at work was okay, my shift ended at 1pm. I was so tired, when I got to the
apartment, I took a nap.
#5: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

I napped for almost an hour, not that I woke up voluntarily though. I was woken up by screams,
it was Vanessa and Puleng. I heard Hakeem’s voice, I rolled my eyes before heading to the
lounge.
“Hey beautiful”, said Hakeem, he had make-up on his face.
“Doesn’t he look adorable?” Vanessa gushed.
“He looks like a joke”, I said. The truth is, he did look like a joke.
“Come on Yoli, he looks cute with all this make-up”, said Puleng.
“I need to get this off my face right now”, said Hakeem wiping the make-up.
“No! Don’t wipe it off. You look adorable, trust. Now let me take a few photos”, Vanessa took out
her phone.
“Thank you very much for waking me up”, I went to the kitchen.
I could hear Vanessa and Puleng asking each other, “What’s wrong with her?” I had enough of
them. Luckily Sihle got back from college, she saw I was angry.
“Good afternoon Yoli”, she smiled. “Or maybe not? What’s up?” She asked.
“I was woken up by these two dogs”, I said.
“Let me guess, Vanessa and Puleng?” Sihle guessed.
“Yeah”, I shook my head.
“Arg! What are they doing? What’s with all the screams?” Asked Sihle.
“They applied make-up on Hakeem’s face”, I said.
“Seriously? I need to see this”, Sihle went to the lounge.
I quickly made a sandwich for myself, my phone rang, it was Asisipho – my cousin.

“Hey Asi”, I was happy to hear her voice.

“Hey. Why are you so quiet? Granny is starting to worry”, she said.
“Everything is okay. Tell her I got a job at a restaurant”, I said.
“What? And you didn’t care to share with us? Where are you? Why do I hear people
screaming?” She asked curiously.
“I was going to call you guys when I had airtime, I’m really sorry. Arg, it’s just the girls I share
the apartment with”, I said.
“Are you sure you’re not at a party or something?” She asked.
“Asisipho, really?”
“I’m just asking. Anyway I just called you to hear your voice and know your well being”
“I’m fine. Do send my greetings to the fam, I miss you guys”
“We miss you too. Oh, I have one minute remaining. Did you know Vusani is in Jo’burg?”
“What? No. Where?”
“I don’t know but someone told me he got transferred to Jo’burg. You should maybe call him
and – ”
“No ways. I’m done with him. Plus he said some hurtful things before we parted ways. I’ll pass
on that offer, cuz”
“Anyway, Jo’burg is a big city. He might be working at the rarest place you could find”
“Maybe”
“Okay Yoliswa, good bye my love”
“Take care cuz”
“Sharp”
“Sharp – sharp”

The girls were screaming even more, it seems like Sihle joined them. I just went to my bedroom
and closed the door. I ate my sandwich there. After that, I buried my face under my pillow. A few
minutes later, the screams were no more. I heard a knock on the bedroom door.
“Come in”, I said.
Hakeem came in, “Is everything okay?” He asked.
I shook my head, “I’m really tired”, I said.
He hugged me. “Are you better now?” He asked. I laughed, “Who told you, you gave magical
hugs?” I asked. He laughed so hard.
“But thank you, I feel a little, just a little better”, I said.
“That’s an improvement I guess. Let’s go out, just us”, he said.
“I’m really tired”, I said.
“We can go to…the massage parlour”, he said.
“You really won’t take no for an answer, will you”
“Nope. But the massage will be beneficial, it can release stress. You seem very tense”
“You’re right”
“What was that?”
“I said you’re right”
“Am I not always right?”
“Arg, go away”
“Ha!”
“Thank you Hakeem”
“Don’t thank me, this is nothing”
“No, thank you for everything you done for me. I’m really grateful”
“Making you happy makes me happy”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I know I’ve known you for a short period of time but it damn feels like eternity”
“What did I ever do to deserve such a gentleman?”
“Nothing, I just like you. I do respect your decision though. I know you just got out of a
relationship and you’re not ready but I’ll be here right by your side”
“I’m glad to hear that”
“Let me make a phone call”
“Go ahead”
“I’ll be right back, okay Yoli?”
“Okay”

After Hakeem got back from making his phone call, I got ready then we left for the massage
parlour. I really needed to release the stress. Nobody except Metaphor know why I’m in
Johannesburg. They all think I came here to look for a job but in actual fact, I’m looking for my
mother. I’ve gotten closer to Hakeem and Sihle but I’m not ready to disclose this secret with
them. It’s funny how I speak openly with Metaphor. Anyway, the massage was awesome I loved
every moment of it. It’s like weight has been lifted from my shoulders, I really feel light. When we
got to the car, Hakeem wanted to take me out. I couldn’t say no after such a thoughtful gesture.

He drove to Jump Cafe, my new workplace. When we got there, different girls were on duty but
Vicky was still there.
“And I come back to my new home”, I said.
“This is a beautiful restaurant”, he said.
“Yeah it is”, I looked around.
“One of my favourite restaurants in Jo’burg”, he said.
A girl came to take our order but we just wanted water for now.
“You still haven’t told me why you were mean when I had that make-up on”, said Hakeem.
“Mean? I wasn’t being mean”, I said.
“You were a mean girl”, he smiled. “Or maybe you were being jealous”, he said.
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, please”, I rolled my eyes.
“Roll your eyes and they will stay that way”, he said.
This Tyler Ndlovu guy entered the restaurant.
“Tyler!” Hakeem waved his hand. I didn’t know he knew this guy. Tyler went to shake Hakeem’s
hand.
“How are you doing my brother?” Asked Tyler.
“I’m fine man. You come here much often?” Asked Hakeem.
“This is my second home my brother”, he said.
“This is Yoliswa, my friend”, Hakeem introduced me to this Tyler guy.
“Hey Yoliswa. You look really familiar”, he shook my hand.
“I work here, I served you lunch. It’s amazing how you noticed that I look familiar since you
didn’t even bother to look me in my eyes”, I said.
“You came here to look people in the eyes or take orders? Don’t be silly. Hakeem my brother,
great meeting you. See you around lady”, Tyler walked away. I was so angry.
“Did you hear what he said?” I furiously asked Hakeem.
“Calm down. You’ll get to know him, he’s a straight talker. And a really cool guy”, Hakeem tried
calming me down.
“He’s rude. I don’t like him”, I expressed angrily.
“You look kinda hot when you angry, you know that?” Hakeem looked into my eyes. I looked
away, it was really awkward. “You have the most beautiful innocent eyes I’ve ever seen”, he
whispered.
“Thanks”, I said.

We had our late lunch at Jump Cafe, the food is just delicious. Hakeem dropped me off at my
apartment. Sihle, Puleng and Vanessa were watching a movie.
“Come join us”, said Sihle.
“I…”, I was speechless.
“Come on, are you going to nap the whole day?” Vanessa said. I went to sit next to Sihle.
“We’re going out tonight, if you want you can tag along”, said Vanessa.
“Eating out?” I asked.
“No, clubbing”, said Vanessa. I didn’t have money, I was really broke.
“I’m broke”, I said.
“Aren’t we all? Come on Yoli”, Vanessa begged me.
“My friend we’re all broke but Vanessa will work her V magic”, said Sihle.
“V magic? Wow. Okay”, I said.
“All black everything is the dress code for tonight”, said Vanessa.
After that drama exit by Vanessa in the restaurant Hakeem hired, I grew a little dislike for
Vanessa. She might or might not have picked it up but she’s a smart girl, she might have picked
it up. I’m hoping clubbing together will bring our friendship back to normal. Puleng is another
story, I just feel sorry for that girl. She’s such a follower, Hakeem was right. She likes to please
people, Vanessa to be precise. I’m just curious to witness this V magic, I hope the V doesn’t
stand for vagina. I don’t want her to sleep around for drinks, that’s trashy. She does have nice
clothing, I hope she doesn’t sleep around for money. That’s just a thought.

In the evening we got ready for what will be a perfect night out. I was the first to finish preparing
myself, I dug into my suitcase and I took out a notepad and a pen. I started writing…
“As I stood in front of that mirror. I took out my make-up set. When I opened it, I smelt the hard
work of manufacturers’ sweat that work hard in producing this masterpiece. A masterpiece
made so perfect that it paints all the misery and pain. I painted myself, I used every colour I
came in contact with so I could cover my guilt. I looked myself in the mirror, I look like I came
out of a magazine. If only you knew that the real me trapped in me was screaming, “Let me out!”
I don’t want to let you out, I want to chain you inside me. Use any lock I could get to chain you,
tie you on a very strong emotion called anger. Now let me be…”

Sihle asked what I was doing.

“Nothing”, I quickly put my notepad away.
“I’m done. Let’s go join the rest”, she said.
Vanessa and Puleng were also done. We took a cab to the club. We went to Diamond Lounge.

When we got to the club, Vanessa went to talk to the bouncer. We stood for not more than ten
minutes before she signaled that we must enter the club. When we got in, the club was just
packed. We didn’t have money, Vanessa said by the end of the night we will be in the VIP area.
We sat down and watched the rest have fun. A man came to sit next to Vanessa. He gave us
each a 750ml can of Castle Lite Gold. He introduced himself as Philip. Vanessa opened the
cider, she spilled the cider intentionally on the table.
“Watch it!”, the man jumped up. “Let me help you with this”, he wiped the spilled cider.
“Oops. I’m not used to these cans. I usually buy spirits and all the expensive shit”, said
Vanessa.
“I thought you girls drank this, I’m sorry”, the man apologised. “I’ll be back”, he left.
Puleng and Sihle were praising Vanessa.
“How do you do this?” Sihle asked enthusiastically.
I’d take it, this might be that “V magic” they were talking about. The man came back with bottles
of vodka and wine. Our table was just full of alcohol. We had a conversation with Philip, he was
a cool guy. He called his friends to come to the club ASAP. When his friends got there, they
also bought more alcohol. They were three of them, namely Anga, Themba and Jabu. Philip
was seated next to Vanessa, Anga was seated next to Sihle, Themba next to Puleng and Jabu
next to me. The conversation flowed lightly. Hours later they took us to the VIP. It was really
boring at the VIP but we made it fun. Vanessa went to the bathroom and she signaled that we
all follow her.

In the bathroom we applied make-up.

“We’re not going home with them but we will take their numbers”, said Vanessa.
“Of course we weren’t gonna leave with them”, I said.
“Philip is so not my type”, said Vanessa. We all erupted into fits of laughter.
“He looks like my father”, said Puleng. After we were done adding some touches here and
there, we went to join the guys. Rashidi went to check on us and left. We had a great time.

When we were leaving, the guys wanted us to leave with them but we took their phone numbers
instead. We promised them that we will see them tomorrow blah…blah…blah. We were really
drunk, we took a cab home.
When we got to the apartment Puleng started vomiting, we helped her. We even tucked her to
bed. Sihle went to sleep on my bed, I tucked her nevertheless. I was stuck with Vanessa. We
just turned on the mp3 and started having our own after party. We were grinding on each other,
laughing like lunatics, apologising to each other over and over again, crying for no reason,
hugging each other and dancing like mad people.
A hard knock woke me up. I looked at the time, it was 8:15am, I jumped. I was late for work, I
quickly waked Vanessa. We were sleeping on the floor. I went to answer the door, it was
Hakeem.
“Good morning beautiful”, Hakeem gave me flowers.
“Nothing good about this morning”, I took the flowers.
“Were you drinking last night? You smell like a tavern”, said Hakeem.
We went to the lounge, he laughed at Vanessa who was still sleeping on the floor after I’ve
woken her up.
“Vanessa wake up, we’re late for work”, I woke Vanessa up.
“You girls are wasted”, Hakeem checked all the bedrooms.
“Hakeem you’re not helping”, I said.
Sihle said she’s not going to college and Puleng said she’s not going to work. I couldn’t dodge
work, it was my second day and it’s not even a great impression. Headache was killing me, I
had a terrible hangover. Me and Vanessa took a shower together. We took a quick 5mins
shower. We were running all over the place. My phone rang, I didn’t even see where it was.
Hakeem found my phone.
“Club guy is calling”, he gave me the phone. I took the phone and I went to lock myself in the
bathroom.

“Hey”, I whispered.
“Hi babe, why are you whispering?” Asked Jabu.
“Why don’t you call me later? Maybe in the afternoon?” I suggested.
“Okay”, he ended the phone call.
When I got out of the bathroom, I could see Hakeem’s facial expression changed. I went to kiss
him on the cheek, “Thanks for the flowers”, I smiled. I got ready for work, the time was 8:45am. I
asked Hakeem to take us to work.

He drove us to Jump Cafe. He told me that he has the whole day off and that he can fetch us
from work, I didn’t want to offend him, I agreed.
Vicky wasn’t happy that we were late, he was mad at me because I was new. He said I had two
more strikes left. Vanessa also got a strike, she had one strike left. Nosipho watched me and
Vanessa get a lecture from Vicky, I caught her shaking her head in disbelief. We went back to
work.
Oh my, Vicky is strict. She doesn’t waste time. I can’t believe Vanessa has only one strike left
before she’s fired. We get paid R50 per hour and we wasted an entire hour so we will work 4
hours, which is R200. By the end of the week I will get my weekly wages of R700 not the
original R750. I work three days a week, Mon. Tue. and Wed. and Vanessa also works three
days a week, Sat. Tue. and Wed.

I should focus.
#6: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

The restaurant was packed as usual. Nosipho spoke to me for the first time today.
“I see you and Queen V solved your issues”, she said.
“Nothing a glasses of vodka can’t fix”, I said.
“So you went clubbing last night? No wonder you guys were late”, said Nosipho.
“Please don’t tell Vicky”, I pleaded.
“I won’t do that”, she assured me. “Be careful of that one”, said Nosipho.
“Who? Vanessa?” I asked.
“Yeah”, she replied.
“How did you meet them?” I asked.
“I decided to move back to Jo’burg, find a job and I reunited with my friend Mbali. She met Sihle
at a student get together at some event, so Mbali introduced me to Sihle. Upon meeting Sihle,
she introduced me to her flat mates, Vanessa and Puleng. I never really liked Vanessa, I saw
her true colours more than many times to decide I should play very far from her”, said Nosipho.
“True colours?”
“She’s a jealous, manipulative and a fake person”
“So much exaggeration? Nosipho – ”
“I’m telling the truth Yoliswa. You will see for yourself”
“She can be really jealous and annoying but she’s a cool person”
“You mean fake?”
“Come on Nosipho – ”
“You’ll see for yourself. Don’t say I didn’t tell you, okay?”
“Arg”

I went back to doing my job. Minutes later Tyler entered the restaurant. He was carrying a
newspaper again. Vanessa whispered to me, “This guy is a gem”. I whispered to her, “I don’t
like him, he’s such an ass”. Vanessa went to take his order, I was happy I wasn’t the one taking
his order. I don’t understand how Vanessa is crushing on someone who doesn’t give a rat’s ass
about her. Let alone anyone. I watched Vanessa act like a teenager with a crush, it was really
unbearably annoying to watch. The restaurant was packed more than yesterday, it was a crowd
favourite. Vanessa ran to me, breathing heavily.
“Oh my word! Don’t look back”, she said ducking behind the counter.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Come!” She dragged me down the counter.
“What’s going on?” I was so confused.
“Philip just entered the restaurant”, she whispered.
“Why are we hiding?” I asked.
“Because I don’t want him to see us”, she said.
“Is this part of your V magic? If it is, then it’s whack”, I said.
“I added his phone number to my reject list. Every time he called me, his call is automatically
rejected. I don’t want anything to do with that guy, all I wanted was his money and nothing else”,
she said.
“I didn’t know. Jabu called me this morning, I told him to call this afternoon”, I said.
“Silly, you’re not supposed to talk to him. You’re giving him more reason to chase you”, she
said.
Nosipho saw us hiding under the counter.
“Who do you think is going to serve these customers? Or should I call Vicky?” Nosipho was
being difficult.
“Or shut up”, said Vanessa.
“Don’t tell me to shut up you skinny bitch”, Nosipho surely didn’t like Vanessa that much.
“Please stop guys”, I tried stopping them before it escalated to something bigger. Vanessa said
she’s going to the toilet. When she was about to turn the corner, she signaled me. I excused
myself and I went to the toilet. Nosipho just looked at me and shook her head in disbelief.

Vanessa closed the door.

“What if she calls Vicky? I’m going to get my second strike in one day and it’s only my second
day. And…and you’re going to get fired, you have one strike left”, I said.
Vanessa giggled, “You stress too much. I know Nosipho won’t tell Vicky”, she said.
“What makes you so sure?” I asked.
“She has a soft spot for you and she’ll never report us because you’re involved”
“Vanessa I can’t live like this. Vicky is going to come in here, let’s just go and face Philip”
“Let me tell you what will happen when we face Philip. He will push for something that will
never happen. I know guys like him, he’s such an emotional guy. He looks like he cries when he
orgasms. Did you catch glimpse of the shoes he was wearing last night? Totally fake. His
cologne smelt desperation and neediness. Now tell me, do you want to associate yourself with
someone like that?”
“Uhm…of course not”
“Good. Now let’s stay here until he leaves. Maybe he’ll be gone in an hour or maybe 45
minutes”
“What if Vicky – ”
“Arg! Stop with all the worrying. You should learn to chill, okay?”
“You make it sound – ”
“Ssssh…just ssssh”

We waited in the toilet for about 30 minutes. I was praying that Vicky didn’t notice that we were
not working. We got out of the toilet and Philip was gone. Hakeem entered the restaurant, I
smiled. I went over to him.
“You look really sexy in your uniform”, he complimented.
“Thank you”, I blushed.
“It’s packed in here”, he looked around.
“So what can I get you?” I asked.
“I want you for lunch”, he whispered.
“Yoliswa isn’t on the menu, I’m sorry”, I smiled.
“Really? Tough because I really wanted you”, Hakeem held my hand.
We flirted. I felt a tap on my shoulder, another waitress told me that Vicky wanted to see me
ASAP. I was so nervous, I went to Vicky. She was in her small office.

“I heard you wanted to talk to me”, I said nervously.

“Take a seat Yoliswa”, she said. She wasn’t smiling. I thought she was going to give me another
strike.
“Relax”, she said. “You’re a beautiful girl, I hear you’re new in town. My advice is for you to keep
a level head and carry on looking for your mother. I won’t say you must ditch your friends but
you must differentiate your real friends. The owner of this restaurant is friends with the bakery
owner you went to look for your mom at. I’ve met worked with your mother before, we worked
together for three months. She was presented an opportunity to work for a wealthy family, she
took it. The family owned a car dealership, it’s the Podolski Family”, said Vicky. I was silent, I
was really shocked.
“Thank you”, I stood up. I couldn’t believe someone other than Metaphor know about my
mother. Just when I was about to leave the office, Vicky asked, “Why did you keep it a secret?”
“It’s none of anyone’s business”, I replied. I could feel my anger rising.
“If you want to find your mother, it will be anyone’s business. I’m just saying”, she said. I left her
office. I was really pissed, I didn’t even go to Hakeem. Nosipho followed me. I went to the toilet.
“Nosipho please go”, I said.
“Not until you tell me what’s wrong”, she said.
“You want to know what’s wrong?” I asked her. She nodded, “Yes”.
“Everything is wrong Nosipho”
“Everything? Like what?”
“I don’t want to talk about it”
“What did Vicky say?”
“It’s personal”
“I respect that”
“When you first came to Johannesburg what was your initial reaction?”
“Uhm, I was a very immature rural girl. I had a rural mentality, if I had a chance to go in back in
time. I would fix everything I did wrong”
“Meaning?”
“Uhm, Yoliswa I don’t like talking about my past. I got involved with the wrong people. I hope
that doesn’t happen to you too”
“It won’t”
“Let me go and do my work”
“Thanks”
“For?”
“For everything Nosipho. You have a good heart, I can’t believe I ever doubted you”
“Great to hear that. You’re also a good person”

We opened the door, we saw Vanessa standing there.

“Oops, I was about to go in”, she said.
I went back to doing my job. Hakeem was eating, I went over to him.
“Sorry for disappearing just like that”, I said.
“You should stop apologising for everything. You’re at work, I understand that you’re busy”, he
said.
I smiled.
“I will come and fetch you when your shift ends”, he said.
“Okay”, I didn’t want to disappoint him.
I went back to work. Hakeem is a good guy but I just got out of a relationship, it’s a good thing
that he understands everything.

Hours later, my shift ended. Hakeem delivered on his promise, he was waiting for me in the
parking lot. Vanessa went to town, she didn’t ride with us.
“Hey gorgeous”, Hakeem opened the car door for me.
“Hey gentleman”, I got into the car.
“Let’s go to my place”, he said.
“I don’t know”, I said.
“Come on, I’m tired of hanging around your friends. But don’t tell them that”, he said.
I laughed, “Okay”, I said.
Hakeem was so excited. He drove to his house.

The last time I been to Hakeem’s place, it was crowded. He had a beautiful house.

“Make yourself comfortable”, said Hakeem. “You can make yourself anything to eat or drink.
Here’s the tv remote”, he added.
I made myself something to drink, Hakeem sat next to me. Shortly, my phone rang. It was on
the table, Hakeem looked at me.
“Aren’t you gonna answer that?” He asked. I remembered Jabu said he’s going to give me a call
in the afternoon.
“Uhm. Nope”, I said. The phone stopped ringing. I checked my phone and it was Jabu. He
called again, I rejected his phone call. There was awkward silence.
“Is it that club guy who called you this morning?” Asked Hakeem.
“He’s just a friend”, I replied.
“So it’s him?” He asked again.
“It doesn’t matter anyway”, I said.
“What’s his name?” He asked.
I didn’t respond. “Surely his name isn’t “club guy”. Huh?” Hakeem was just curious.
“Hakeem let’s drop it. I don’t owe you any explanations, you’re not my boyfriend”, I said.
“You do have a point there”, he said.
After that everything went South. It was just awkward silence.

#7: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

A knock disturbed the awkward silence. Hakeem went to check who it was, I heard laughter.
The voice somewhat sounded familiar but it wasn’t Kwame. Hakeem appeared with the
Raymond guy.
“I didn’t know you had company mate”, he told Hakeem.
“Don’t worry, she’s a good friend of mine”, said Hakeem.
“I believe we’ve met before, right? You’re Yolanda?” Asked Raymond.
“No, I’m Yoliswa”, I corrected him.
“Oh yeah. How are you?” He took a seat.
“Good, and you?” I asked.
“I’m great, nice to meet you again”, he said.
Nosipho’s ex seemed really friendly but the way Nosipho made him look was totally different.
Hakeem and Raymond had a conversation, I was just there busy with my phone. My phone
rang again, it was Jabu. I went outside to answer the call.

“Jabu talk to me”, I said.

“I’ve been calling you for a while now and this is how you answer the phone? Where were you?
I thought you said I must call in the afternoon. I want nothing from you”, he said.
“Before you talk any further, I just want to tell you to please stop calling me”, I said.
“You should have told me in the morning when I called you. I don’t like being treated like a piece
of shit”, he said.
“I don’t talk to pieces of shit”, I said.
“Fuck you bitch! I hope you catch STDs whore!”, Jabu yelled and he dropped the phone. I
wasn’t upset at what he said, I was just happy that he won’t nudge me. I went inside.

Raymond was sitting alone.

“Where’s Hakeem?” I asked.
“In his bedroom, he’s talking with an important client on the phone”, said Raymond. “You never
really told me anything about you. I just know your name and that you’re Hakeem’s good friend”,
he said.
“What do you want to know?” I asked.
“Where you’re from, what you’re doing here and why you’re friends with that mumu”, he said.
“I’m from East London in the Eastern Cape. I’m here for work and I’m friends with Hakeem
because he’s a good guy”
“Xhosa girl – ”
“Yes, you’re used to them?”
“Very”
“Dated them?”
“Yeah”
“Oh”
“Why are you asking Yoliswa?”
“You do know Nosipho, right?”
“Of course, she’s my ex”
“What did you ever do to the girl?”
“I don’t wanna talk about it. Are you Nosipho’s friend?”
“Kinda, yeah”
“You don’t seem sure”
“We had a misunderstanding”
“Girl drama?”
“Yeah”
“So how’s Nosipho doing?”
“Why don’t you reach out to her and ask her. Maybe mend your relationship with her”
“I would but she doesn’t want anything to do with me”
“I think she still has feelings for you”
“I don’t believe that one bit. She messed around with someone I didn’t like only to find out he’s
her long lost cousin. Karma is a bitch”
“What?”
“You didn’t know that?”
“No, she doesn’t want to talk about her past”

Hakeem got out of his bedroom.

“Let me drive you to your apartment Yoliswa, I’ve got to go somewhere”, said Hakeem.

He drove me to my apartment.
When I got to the apartment, the girls were watching a movie. I joined them. We spent the whole
day watching movies.
Days went by, Johannesburg treated me good. My friendship with Vanessa blossomed, I think it
got Puleng and Sihle very jealous. It was a Sunday night, we got ready to go out. In the past few
days, Hakeem became so distant towards me. Not that I really care, he’s not my boyfriend
anyway.
We took a cab to Club Diamond. We had money to spoil ourselves rotten. Me and Vanessa got
paid on Friday, it was all good in that department. When we got to the club, Vanessa told us that
her male friends from Pretoria will be joining us shortly.
Minutes later, Vanessa’s male friends joined us. She introduced them to us, they were Ishmael
and Tebogo. They danced and drank with us. Ishmael and Tebogo rented an apartment for the
weekend.
“You look beautiful”, Ishmael whispered in my ear. I whispered, “Thank you”.
Vanessa offered me a drink, “For my best friend in the whole wide world!” She screamed. She
was really drunk. She wrapped her arms around me and Ishmael and said, “I see you’re getting
to know each other. My friend this gentle brother has a good heart and he’s handsome, look at
him. But I want you to drink that drink and join me on the dance floor”.

After the drink, I got so turnt. I was hyperactive, I outshined everyone on the dance floor. I was
having a time of my life. When we were leaving the club, Vanessa asked me to accompany her
to see Ishmael and Tebogo’s apartment. I was so drunk, I could hear Sihle saying, “Vanessa
can’t you see she’s out? She needs to go home with us”. I left with Vanessa and her male
friends. We were singing in the car. My vision was blurry, I passed out and woke up in between.
I don’t remember getting to the apartment but I was laying on my back on the bed. Vanessa only
had her bra and panties on.
“Where’s your clothes?” I asked her. She laughed at me and said, “I’m wearing clothes”. I
thought maybe I was too drunk or perhaps hallucinating. She leaned forward and kissed me. I
pulled away, I looked directly into her eyes. I blacked out. When I opened my eyes, I was only in
my bra and underwear. Vanessa pulled me aggressively and we started kissing aggressively.
Everything was a blur after that.
My phone rang, I lazily tried reaching for my phone. My eyes were heavy, I had a terrible
headache. I looked at my phone screen, a private number was calling me. I answered the
phone call and it was Vicky. She was really mad, I checked the time and it was 11:15am. I was
very late for work, I was angry. I got out of bed, I was in my bedroom. I ran out of the bedroom,
no one but me was home. I didn’t shower, I just got dressed and left. I was mad at my friends for
not waking me up.

When I got to the restaurant, I saw Vanessa and her male friends having breakfast. I quickly
went to Vicky’s office, the door was open.
“I’m really, really sorry”, I apologised.
“I’m giving you your second strike”, she said.
“What? Please, I’m really sorry”, I begged her.
“This isn’t a joke. If you don’t wanna work here, the door is right there. If you come to work late
again, you’re fired. Go”, Vicky was furious. I got out of her office. I went straight to where
Vanessa was seated.
“Why didn’t you wake me up?” I asked furiously.
“Excuse me?” She seemed confused.
“We were partying all night together. You’re here, why didn’t you wake me up?” I asked.
“Sweetheart, I was at Ishmael and Tebogo’s apartment. Ask Sihle and Puleng why they didn’t
wake you up”, she said.
“How did I get to the apartment?” I asked.
“Our driver took you home”, she said.
I was so confused. I went back to work. Nosipho was irritating me, she was acting like my
mother. I had two strikes, I was so angry at myself. I only worked for two hours because I came
in late.
After work, I needed someone to talk to. I wanted to give Hakeem a call but I didn’t want to act
like I missed him because he hasn’t made contact with me for days. Metaphor came to mind, I
remembered the bookshop moved to another shop. On my way to the bookshop, I heard a car
hooter and someone screaming my name. I looked around, it was Raymond. He stopped his car
on the side of the road. I went to say hi.
“Where are you heading to?” He asked.
“A bookshop”, I responded.
“A bookshop, huh? So you like reading”, he said.
“Yeah”, I said.
“Let me drive you there”
“I don’t wanna waste your time”
“I insist”
“I don’t know Raymond”
“Come on, what do you have to lose?”
“You won’t take no for an answer”
“Nope”
“You will get bored. It’s just a bookshop”
“I like books too”
“Liar”
“Yeah I do”
“What was the recent book you read? Facebook?”
“Funny. I see you got jokes, I like. But nope, the recent book I read was Fifty Shades of Gray”
“Wow”
“Get in”
“Okay”

Raymond drove me to the bookshop. On the way, we spoke about books. He surprised me, he
was a really smart guy.
Hmm.

#8: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

We got to the bookshop, Metaphor gave us a warm welcome. He then wanted to talk to me in
private.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“I’ve got good news for you. My friend managed to find your mom’s address”, he said. I hugged
him, I was so happy.
“That’s good to hear, thank you very much”, I was ecstatic. “Where’s the address?” I asked.
“You will have to meet with him”, he said.
“That can be arranged. When is he off?” I asked.
“Tuesdays and on the weekend”, he said.
“My shift ends at 1pm. We can arrange to meet somewhere”, I was so happy.
“I’ll tell him”, Metaphor smiled.
“Thanks again”, I hugged him. I was so relieved.

I went to join Raymond. We looked at a few books. He bought me two books, his fascination
with books was amusing. He offered to take me to home. So I couldn’t let him down after he
bought me books. He drove me home, when I got there Vanessa was listening to music.
“Where’s Puleng and Sihle?” I asked.
“Puleng is at work and Sihle is still at school”, she said.
“What happened last night?” I asked.
“We had a great time, we should do it more often”, she said unashamedly.
“I woke up in my bed, I was at your friends’ apartment. How did I end up here?” I asked.
“I told you that we called our driver for you. You can ask Puleng and Sihle”
“Vanessa, I had an incredible time last night but some things don’t end up. I remember you half
naked, kissing me. I was also half naked. What happened?”
“What?! I kissed you? When?”
“Last night, I wanted to ask you today. Didn’t we kiss?”
“No! I’ll take it as a compliment that you’re fantasizing about me”
“No, no, no – I’m not fantasizing about you, I never ever fantasized about you. I’m not crazy
either, I’m sure that happened”
“Why would I lie to you? Maybe you were hallucinating”
“Hallucinating? I don’t hallucinate when I’m drunk, my vision gets blurry but that’s it”
“Then what are you trying to say?”
“I’m trying to say that something happened between us and I want to clear things”
“Clear things then”
“Whatever happened, happened. Let’s not ever talk about it and hopefully that doesn’t happen
again”
“Nothing happened Yoliswa”

Puleng and Sihle finally got back. They told me how drunk I was last night. Hakeem came to the
apartment, he came to drop my mother’s photo. I didn’t even notice it was missing. I was in my
bedroom.
“She’s beautiful”, Hakeem looked at my mother’s photo. “Just like you. I’m sorry for not returning
it as soon as possible”, he said.
“Thanks”, I snatched the photo from his hands.
“Is she alive?” He asked.
“It’s none of your business Hakeem”, I said.
“You always keep me in the dark with most of the things happening in your life”, he said.
“Probably because I don’t owe you anything”, I said.
“You’ve changed”, he sat next to me.
“Change is good”
“Yeah but I like the Yoliswa I first met more”
“What are you trying to say?”
“That you’ve changed”
“You’ve also changed Hakeem”
“How?”
“You don’t call much often, you hardly visit and you’re cold”
“Cold?”
“Your eyes aren’t as warm as – ”
“Yoliswa, hold up. What are you saying? What are you saying Yoliswa?”
“I don’t have to repeat myself Hakeem”
“I’ve been nothing but good to you. But you showed me a side of you that I wasn’t willing to
accept”
“Oh?”
“Let’s face it, we were just friends. I might or might not have wanted more”
“We both know you wanted more”
“At some point”
“Hakeem come on man”
“Okay, yeah. But now you’re not that girl I used to kick it with”
“That’s why you’re keeping your distance?”
“I’m a busy man Yoliswa and I’m not your boyfriend, remember? Look, I don’t like keeping a
lady waiting, I have to get going”
“Lady?”
“Yeah, I just met a really cool girl. We’re not an item but we’re taking things slow”
“Wow, that’s good”
“Take care Yoli”
“You too Hakeem”

It was clear that Hakeem moved on. Not that it phased me or anything. As I was laying on my
bed, I remembered Metaphor doesn’t know where I live or my digits. I decided to take a long
walk to the bookshop. I was tired of always going to the bookshop to maintain contact with him,
he has been asking for my number or my address for a while now. When I got to the bookshop,
they were closing.
“Yoliswa, what are you doing here? Because we’re closing”, said Metaphor.
“I forgot to give you my phone number. I want you to give me a call when your friend approves
of us meeting”, I said.
“So you finally came to senses”, he said.
“Do you have a cellphone though?” I asked.
“Just because I live on the streets, doesn’t mean I’m technology unaware”, he laughed.
“Technology unaware? Whatever man, this is my number”, I entered my number on his phone.
“Thanks. I’m heading home right now, do you wanna accompany me?” He asked.
“Really? Of course not”, I said.
“I was just kidding”
“Oh. I would like to see where you stay though but I’m scared”
“Of what?”
“Street kids”
“They’re completely harmless”
“Okay”
“So you’re coming with me?”
“It’s not like I have anything to do but I’m really scared”
“I’m here, you don’t need to be scared”
“Wow, look at you”

Metaphor took me to his “home”. On the way, we walked pass a lot of street vendors. He took
me to a really dark staircase.
“I’m not getting in there”, I said.
“It’s not as dark as it looks inside”, he said.
 I stood outside, he went down the staircase and shouted, “You can see me from there, I know.
It’s not as dark. Come on”. With caution, I walked down the stairs. The walls had a lot of graffiti.
It wasn’t that dark inside. The place was really neat, a pile of cardboards were neatly placed in
the corner.
“Make yourself comfortable”, smiled Metaphor. There were torn couches, a rusty two plate
stove, an old microwave and an old cupboard.
“You have a two plate stove, do you have electricity?” I asked.
He laughed, “No, Vixen just likes to collect random things. She’s hoarding this place but don’t
tell her that”, he said.
“Where’s everyone?”
“Out”
“Is Vixen your girl?”
“No, she’s just sharing this place with us until she gets a place to stay. She’s beautiful though. It
wasn’t easy for her to find a place in these streets because some guys want something in
return. I won’t lie, I’m training the guys I live with. When Vixen arrive, they wanted to smash her.
It’s typical male behaviour but they cooled down”
“How the heck do you do this? It’s like you’re helping everyone”
“I love helping others, I feel complete when I help others”
“That’s good to hear Tshepo”
“Tshepo?”
“That’s your real name Metaphor, isn’t it?”
“So you remembered?”
“Why wouldn’t I? Come on. So what will you do about your little brother?”
“I will find him when I have a proper roof over my head”
“I feel like I owe you”
“It’s nothing really”
“I’ll return the favour, you’re helping me find my mother, it’s only right that I do the same”
“If you say so”
Shortly after a girl arrived.
“This is Vixen, the girl I was talking about”, said Metaphor.
“Hey Vixen, I’m Yoliswa”, I shook her hand.
“Nice to meet you”, she smiled.
Vixen was a really beautiful girl, I don’t know how she ended up on the street. She was dressed
well.
“When did you start living here?” I asked.
“This weekend. I met Metaphor in the bookshop, I asked him if he knew a place I could stay for
a couple of days. I didn’t have money, he said I can live with him and a few friends. He was nice
but I didn’t take the offer right away. I went around looking for a place and oh my goodness,
guys out here are douchebags. I went back to the bookshop, and now I’m here”, said Vixen.
“Where are you from?” I asked her.
“Aliwal North”, she replied.
“I’m from East London”, I said.
As soon as we found out that we were from Eastern Cape, it was just craziness after that. It
was like we were old friends catching up. She told me that she ran away from home because
she wanted to follow her dreams of being a musician. She saved money to go to Johannesburg,
her story is very touching. Her mother passed away, she lived with her older sister and her
sister’s friends.

I later went back to my apartment. I was so tired. I wanted to have an early night but that can’t
happen with these girls around. Just when I wanted to nap, I heard familiar male voices. It was
Raymond and Kwame. Vanessa came to wake me up. I lazily got out of bed, I was wearing my
PJs.
“You’re in PJs? It’s so early”, said Kwame. They had two bottles of vodka.
“I have an early morning, I have a shift at 8”, I said. They all booed me.
“Really guys, I don’t want to be up all night drinking”, I said.
“Just one or two shots”, said Raymond.
“I can’t”, I went back to my bedroom. They booed me. Raymond went to my bedroom.
“Are you really going to sleep?” He asked.
“After I reach page 30, yeah”, I was reading my new book.
“Page 30? Wow, it’s like you’re a reading machine”, he said.
“Have you read your books?” I asked.
“Uh…not really, I was busy. Maybe tomorrow”, he said.
“Okay, please close the door when you leave”, I said.
“How’s your day looking tomorrow?”
“Why are you asking?”
“I’m just asking”
“It depends, I don’t know. I’m meeting someone if the person agrees to meet up”
“Who wouldn’t wanna agree to meet up with you”
“Oh well…”
“Have a good night Yoliswa”
“You too Raymond”

I was hoping Metaphor’s friend agreed to meet up with me. Vanessa also had a shift tomorrow.
I kept thinking about Vixen, maybe tomorrow I can sway the girls into letting her stay for just a
few days. The streets aren’t safe for such a beautiful girl.
The next morning, I found Sihle blacked out on the floor. Vanessa and Puleng were nowhere to
be found. I woke Sihle up.
“Sihle where’s Vanessa and Puleng?” I asked her.
She just shrugged her shoulders.
“What do you mean you don’t know? Weren’t you all drinking together last night?” I asked.
“What’s the time? I need to get ready for my lecture. They left with Kwame and the other guy, I
forgot his name”, she said. I tried calling Vanessa but I directly went to voicemail, Puleng too. I
just got ready for work, if she doesn’t go to work or comes extremely late, she’ll get fired. I tried
my best. I took a cab to work.
When I arrived at work, Vicky asked Vanessa’s whereabouts. Everyone was asking me as if I
knew where she was. I tried calling her again but it went straight to voicemail.
I went back to work. At midday, Vanessa entered the restaurant with Raymond and Kwame.
She was so chilled.
“Where were you?” I asked her. She just started laughing, tears rolled down her face.
“She was safe, don’t worry”, said Raymond.
Vicky called Vanessa to her office but she said she doesn’t want to go to her office because
she knew she was going to get fired. Vicky fired her in public, it was really humiliating but
Vanessa didn’t care. I could feel a cold stare from Nosipho. I went to speak to her.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“What is he doing here?” She asked.
“Raymond? I don’t know. This is a public restaurant, I’ll take a wild guess and say maybe he’s
here to eat”, I said.
Raymond came over, he put his arm around me and said, “I read the book”. I couldn’t believe
him, in front of Nosipho.
“I hope we go to the bookshop soon. I had a great time with you. Oh hi Nosipho”, he said.
“Hey”, Nosipho replied.
“You’re looking good”, he said.
“Thanks”, said Nosipho.
Raymond kissed my cheek and said, “See you soon”, and he left. I just froze, I didn’t know what
to do or say.
“So you guys are dating?” Asked Nosipho.
“I don’t know what just happened. I’m not dating him”, I said.
“You don’t need to explain anything to me”, she walked away.
“But I’m not dating your ex. I don’t know what just happened Nosipho”, I tried justifying myself
but Nosipho didn’t hear me out.

I felt Vanessa’s arm around my neck.

“What’s wrong with her my friend?” She asked.
“She thinks I’m dating her ex”, I said.
“She’s childish, leave her”, said Vanessa.
“What are you going to do now that you got fired?” I asked.
“I was about to tell you, I got a job at Club Diamond. I’ll be working there as a promoter. I’ll get
paid triple the money I get here in just one day”, she said.
“Oh, I’m happy for you”, I said.

My day was just weird. I don’t know what happened.

#9: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

After work Metaphor sent me a text saying his friend wants to meet me where I work, Jump
Cafe. I was happy about this, so I decided to wait for him. Mind you, I don’t even know how this
person looks like, how stupid of me not to ask. I studied every guy’s face who entered the
restaurant. Some guy looked around, our eyes met. We stared at each other, he smiled and
came over to the table I was seated.
“You must be Yoliswa”, he said.
“Yes I am”, I smiled.
“I’m Jeffrey, Tshepo’s friend. He told me a lot about you but he forgot to mention how stunning
you are”, he said.
 I blushed, “Thank you”, I was smiling. He took off his jacket, hang it on the chair and he took a
seat.
“So what did you find?” I asked enthusiastically.
“A lot”, he replied.
“Care to share?” I asked.
“I think I know where your mother lives”, he said. I was so delighted to hear that.
“Can you give me the address?”
“I can show you. I heard you’re new to the city”
“That would be lovely. But you’ve done so much for me, it’s too much now”
“I insist, really. I love helping people”
“Metaphor, I mean Tshepo said the same. I can clearly see why you guys are friends”
“Yeah, I love helping people. Can we go now?”
“Already?”
“We can chill for a bit if you want”
“No, no – we can go. I’m so nervous. Where does she live?”
“In Hillbrow”
“Okay, let’s get going then”

Finally I was going to meet my mother after many years. What am I going to say to her? “Hi
mom” or “You still remember me?” or perhaps just tell her that everyone misses her back home.
What if my mother is different now? What if the bad side of the city made her a product of the
sinful brand? My mind was racing, my heart was beating faster and faster and faster. The car
entered the Hillbrow streets, the atmosphere this place produced was heavy. When I got out of
the car, it was dusty. I coughed, dust covered my eyes. A building, an old building stood before
me. It had long staircases, I looked at it. My laziness was catching up with me, but I had to go
up for the sake of my mother.
“This is the place”, said Jeffrey. He led the way, I followed him. We climbed and climbed and
climbed, I was so tired. We finally made it to the top, he took out keys and opened the flat.
“I need to quickly refresh before heading to your mom’s flat”, he said.
“You live here?” I asked.
“Yes, I’m really thirsty. Come in, don’t you want something to drink? I can imagine how thirsty
you might be, those stairs don’t play”, he said.
“I can use a glass of water”, I walked in. His flat was small, his room divider was full of
photographs. He poured me water.
“Here”, he handed me the glass of water. I drank like a mad man, he looked at me and let out a
voiceless chuckle. He went to his bedroom, he was there for a while.
“Jeffrey, we can go now”, I said. He shouted, “I’ll be right there”. My phone rang, it was my
grandmother.

“Gogo, how are you?” I was so happy to hear her voice.

“I’m fine my child, I hope Johannesburg is treating you well. I pray for you my child, I just prayed
for my child”, she said.
“Thank you Gogo”, I said.
“Do you read your bible?”
“Gogo, it’s been a while”
“I was reading your favourite passage in the bible, Psalm chapter 23”
“Really? That’s nice”
“I just called to tell you how much I miss you. How’s everything regarding your mother?”
“Uhm…I’m still looking for her”
“I’m also praying for my daughter, your mother”
“I’ll pray for you too, the whole family”
“Are you going to church that side Yoli?”
“Er…Churches are too far from where I live”
“Oh, okay. Take good care of yourself my child, God bless you”
“God bless you too gogo”

Hearing my grandmother’s voice was motivation to really find my mother. Jeffrey was taking his
time.
“Jeffrey, what’s taking you so long?” I was getting agitated now. He came out of his bedroom
with a half full glass of red substance.
“Do you want?” He gave me this glass.
“What’s this?” I asked.
“Wine”, he replied. I nodded in disagreement. He drank the wine in one go, he stumbled to his
mp3 player. He switched his mp3 player on. He increased the volume. I didn’t even hear myself
think. He locked the door, I sat on the edge of my seat. My heart was beating fast, what is he
trying to do? He pulled me towards him, whispered in my ear, “Let’s dance”.
“I don’t want to dance, I want to leave”, I said.
“Come on, can’t you dance? Come one please Yoliswa girl”, he grabbed my butt. I slapped him,
I fueled him. He turned into an animal, his eyes were red. I ran to the door but it was locked, he
took out the keys and playfully waved them.
“Why are you doing this?” I was crying. He pulled my hair and he licked my cheek. I could smell
his breathe, he was drunk. I could smell the filthy cheap alcohol. “I promise I won’t hurt you if
you give me what I want”, he said.
“Please, don’t do what you’re going to do”, I cried. He slid his hand down my pants, I couldn’t
cry anymore. I gave up, I silently prayed to the Lord. May you take the wheel baby Jesus, I
silently prayed. He dragged me to his bedroom, he was powerful, my strength was no match for
him. He threw me on the bed, I prayed for strength. Dear Lord, please give me strength. I
punched him, he fell to the ground. I quickly ran to the door but it was locked, I screamed but
nobody could hear me with all this blasting music. I was so shaken, my mind wasn’t working
properly, I couldn’t turn off the volume of the mp3. I looked back, he dragged me. He wrestled
with me until he couldn’t wrestle anymore. He looked at me and I could see his eyes widening,
he looked next to me. It was like he saw a ghost, he cried. He unlocked the door and ran out. I
looked around, what did he see? I ran as fast as I could. I wasn’t familiar with the area, I didn’t
have enough money to take a cab. I stopped a car, a woman was driving it. I asked she give me
a lift, she saw I was shaking, she helped me out. I lied to her and said someone mugged me.
She dropped me off a street near the bookshop. I ran to where Metaphor works.

“Hey, how was the meeting?” Asked Metaphor. I gave him a hard, hot slap. Luckily no
customers were in the shop.
“What was that for?” He asked.
“Your friend is nothing but a fraud. He fooled me into thinking he was a good guy and that he
wanted to help me”, I was crying.
“What happened?” Asked Metaphor.
“He tried to rape me. He said he was going to show me where my mom lived. He took me to his
flat for “refreshments” before taking me to my mom. He planned everything. I blame you”
“Yoliswa calm down”
“How can you tell me to calm down? Another man tried to take advantage of me. Are you guys
a tag team or something? Do you fool girls, tell them you want to help them? It’s really pathetic”
“I’m sorry for what happened but I wasn’t aware”
“Aware or what? Aware that your friend was going to do that today? Was it scheduled for
another day? What?”
“Look, I’m sorry! I hate what he did to you, he’s not my friend anymore. I didn’t know he’s
capable of doing something like that. What do you want to do now?”
“I don’t want to ever see that dog again”
“Good”
“And you too”
“What?”
“I don’t want anything to do with you”
“What did I do?”
“You know what? Go to hell”
“Yoliswa!”
“Go fuck yourself!”

I left angrily. When I got to the apartment, Sihle was watching tv. I just ran straight to my room.
Sihle went to check up on me.
“Are you okay?” She asked.
“I just want to sleep”, I closed my eyes.
“Okay”, she closed the door.

After she closed the door, I quickly reached for my notepad and pen and I started writing: “My
heart is bleeding. I can feel every inch of myself leaving me. He took advantage of my hunger.
He promised me food that will end the starvation I was in for many years. He had me fooled, my
eyes were blurred with hope for the future, damn I was looking forward to the future. How can a
normal person do that to another person? He’s nothing but a low life chancer. Will he be able to
look himself in the mirror? To look the shame he has brought upon himself, will he? What if I
was one of his many victims? I didn’t see it coming and it wasn’t my fault. God will deal with him,
I’m thankful I’m alive that’s all”.
After writing on my notepad, I let out a silent but yet powerful cry. My heart was tearing apart. It
was like I was showered with knives. I was consoled by my realisation that I was alone and so
lonely. I decided to take a nap, I had no other choice.

#10: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

I dreamt about what happened earlier, I felt someone shaking me, I jumped with fright.

“Wake up Yoliswa”, said Sihle.

“You gave me a fright”, I said.
“Were you having a bad dream?” She asked.
“Yes”, I replied.
“We’re going out tonight, do you want to come with?” She asked.
“I don’t know. Something bad happened to me today”, I said.
“Your eyes are swollen, are you sick? Are you allergic to something perhaps?”
“No, Sihle. I don’t know where to start”
“Tell me Yoliswa”
“I came to Johannesburg to look for my mother not my to find a job”
“Why didn’t you tell us?”
“I don’t know, I thought it was better”
“Did you find her?”
“No. I met a guy at the bookshop, he seemed really nice and willing to help me. For some odd
reason, I trusted him. I told him about my mother, he promised to help me. He said he had a
friend who works at Home Affairs, he’ll ask him to assist me. His friend found info that my
mother is still alive, I was really happy. After visiting my mother’s recent workplaces, where I
found nothing, just devastating news that a person by that name passed away. I was relieved to
hear that she’s alive. And – ”
“And what? I can’t believe trusted a random stranger. Why didn’t you talk to me at least?”
“Metaphor is this guy’s name. He works – ”
“Arg! Really? Metaphor the guy that lives on the street?”
“You know him?”
“Yeah, he’s Puleng’s ex. He didn’t tell her he lived on the street, what a douchebag move”
“I didn’t know”
“Stay away from that guy. He may seem like a sweetheart but he’s a heartbreaker. What
happened next?”
“I met up with Metaphor’s friend, because Metaphor said he wanted to meet me and tell me in
person. We met up, he said he found where my mother lived. Since I was new to the city, he
drove me to this place. It was in Hillbrow, we got to this old building, went up a flight of stairs
and got to a flat. He said he wanted to get something to drink because he was thirsty. I waited
for him…he…”
“Yoliswa, what did he do?”
“He turned on the mp3 player, the volume was blasting. He looked tipsy, he tried raping me”
“What?! That’s insane, how cruel can men be? What are you going to do now?”
“I don’t want anything to do with Metaphor and his people. However, when he invited me to his
place – ”
“You went to his place? Are you crazy? Stop putting yourself in these situations”
“I trusted him”
“More than us?”
“He was different. Anyway, I met a beautiful girl. She’s from Aliwal North, her name is Vixen,
she’s living with him and his friends. The streets are too dangerous for such a beautiful young
girl. I want her to maybe come live with us for a while”
“Eish, I really don’t know”
“I’ll talk to the girls”
“Good luck with that, but I don’t think Vanessa will be happy to have another beautiful girl here”
“Why does everything have to be about her?”
“Ask her that. Yoliswa, I wish you the best of luck with that”
“But would does Sihle say? Forget Vanessa”
“I say yes. Are you coming to Club Diamond tonight? You really need to loosen up”
“I’m not in a party mood tonight”
“You need this Yoliswa. Are you planning to be in the whole night? And be depressed? Loosen
up”
“You’re starting to sound like Vanessa”
“Yoliswa, feeling sorry for yourself won’t help. It wasn’t your fault, you’re not the first nor the last
girl to go through this. You need to dress up and hit the club. That douchebag might be used to
making girls feel like this, maybe he gets fulfillment in breaking souls. Don’t let him win, wear
your confidence and don’t be a victim but a survivor”
“You’re right. Thank you for being a good friend to me”
“Thank you for giving me the opportunity of being a good friend. Now get ready”

After having that talk with Sihle, I got my confidence back. I got out of bed and I got ice blocks
for my swollen eyes. But Sihle thought it was just a bad idea to put ice on my eyes, “Are you
crazy? Your eyes will go back to normal, just give them a few minutes”, she said. The time was
around 6pm, it was still early. I disclosed everything with Puleng too, she was so shocked, she
got emotional. I didn’t want them to feel sorry for me. So we spent the evening getting ready. My
eyes went back to normal. We took a cab to the club.

When we got to the club, Vanessa me with a big hug.

“I heard everything sweetheart, I’m really sorry”, she said.
“It’s okay”, I nodded.
“If you need someone to talk to, I’m here”, she said.
“Thanks”, it was good to hear that. She led us to our own exclusive table. We were later joined
by Hakeem, Kwame, Raymond and Rashidi. An interesting conversation was started by
Rashidi, he wanted to know why girls aren’t upfront with their feelings and why they played hard
to get.
Madame Vanessa was the first to dive, “Girls are sometimes not upfront with their feelings
because of rejection”, she said. She continued, “We play hard to get because we like being
chased. And I know guys like to chase”.
“But Vee, not every girl isn’t upfront with their feelings because of rejection. You get those girls
who are in a relationship because they don’t want to hurt the guy because he’s been good to
her”, said Kwame.
“Oh shame, you’ve dated weird girls”, Vanessa laughed.
“I hear what Kwame is saying, that does happen. I think we have too many expectations in
relationships, that even if nothing is happening, we wait for something to happen”, said Sihle.
“That’s crap man! Girls send out mixed signals because they’re scared of being rejected. When
you give your all, it’s either you get less or you don’t get none”, said Vanessa.
“No my friend, you’re missing the point. I understand what you’re saying but expectations too do
play a role in girls not being upfront with their feelings”, said Sihle.
“Okay. Why do girls always feel like they’re entitled to everything?” Asked Kwame.
“Entitled to everything like what?” I asked.
“Like, you girls think you guys are Jehovah or something. We get it that women are put at a high
pedestal in society, why do you girls abuse the privilege?” Asked Kwame.
“Women are responsible for life on earth, why not?” Puleng laughed.
“Bro Kwame, you get those women who call themselves feminists. They irritate the shit out of
me”, said Rashidi.
“There’s nothing wrong with a feminist, I think everyone should be a feminist”, said Sihle.
“Hell no!” The guys protested.
“Feminists are a bunch of men haters. If you’re a feminist, you’ll never get a man. Feminists
deserve to use vibraters for the rest of their lives”, said Hakeem.
“Feminists just need some good dick”, said Raymond. The guys all laughed.
“Why are you guys so against equality of the sexes?” Asked Sihle.
“We’re not against equality, we’re against the feminists that say men are animals”, said Rashidi.
“You guys can we please change the subject, it’s tiring now. Let them hate feminists, pussy is
still pussy anyway”, said Vanessa.
“Sihle that’s why you’re single, you’re a feminist”, said Kwame. We all laughed. It didn’t feel like
we were in a club, we were in our zone. It was incredible.
“Let me get a girl to take home”, said Kwame.
“You mean get STD?” Joked Raymond.
“The last time I was huffing and puffing on top of a girl was when I was performing CPR on my
cousin”, said Kwame.
“You don’t say. Cousin? You dirty bastard”, said Hakeem. They teased Kwame on what he said.
“You guys are really childish now. It was CPR, why would I have sex with my cousin?” It was
clear that Kwame wasn’t taking the jokes well.
“It’s just jokes. Go get STD you fool”, said Rashidi.
“Guys, stop”, I was holding myself from laughing.
“I will get STD and sleep with your girl”, Kwame said to Hakeem.
“You better hide those hands Hakeem”, said Raymond. Everyone laughed their asses off.
Kwame didn’t get the joke, he was frustrated, he was tipsy too.
“Hahaha? What’s funny?” Asked Kwame.
“Didn’t you get the joke? Raymond says Hakeem must hide his hands because he’s in a
relationship with his hands. Meaning, the only action he gets is masturbating”, said Rashidi.
Kwame laughed alone.
“Kwame is that guy that doesn’t get a joke made at the dinner table during a family reunion.
Wake up a week later in the middle of the night and laugh because he made sense of the joke”,
said Hakeem.
“Then he calls his uncle, brother, sister, brother-in-law, niece, everyone that was at the reunion
how he gets it now”, said Rashidi.
“Let me leave you guys, I don’t like what you’re doing to me. I’m not a fool. I said I’m not a fool”,
Kwame said angrily.
“Hakeem and Rashidi please leave him alone. Kwame go pick a girl to take home”, said
Vanessa.
“I like this girl. She’s really smart, I really like Vanessa. You tell it as it is”, said Kwame. He was
even losing his balance. But he managed to leave, we saw him disappear to the dance floor.

Drinks were pouring in, I was having a time of my life. Vanessa was sitting next to me, were
kept having shot after shot. I felt a hand under the table touch my thigh, I jumped. It was
Raymond.
“Don’t do that! May that be the last time you do that to me!” I shouted.
“I’m sorry, it was a mistake”, he apologised. “I was moving my hand, I’m sorry that I touched
your thigh”, he said.
 I overreacted. He didn’t grab my thigh, it was just an innocent moving of the hand. I guess the
incident really messed me up.
“I’m sorry too”, I apologised. I also needed to be the bigger person and apologise for
embarrassing him in front of his friends. While we were enjoying ourselves, the guy that bought
us drinks the other night came in with his friends. He saw us, he came to the table.
“Don’t let these girls fool you, they’re money hungry bitches who use men to get alcohol”, said
Jabu. He was that angry guy who swore me on the phone.
“They’re our friends, who are you guys?” Asked Hakeem.
“We bought these bitches alcohol a while back. They promised to see us again the next
morning”, said Jabu.
“Stop being bitter assholes”, said Hakeem.
“What did you just call us?” Asked Philip. He was the guy whose calls were rejected by
Vanessa.
“I’m the manager of this club, I can throw you out and even worse suspend you guys from ever
entering this club. I have contacts with local club owners, I can even tell them not to let you in”,
said Rashidi.
“We didn’t come here to cause a fight, we just wanted to say hi to these bitches”, said Jabu.
They walked away.
“You girls should stay away from these guys”, said Raymond.
As dampening as that was, we managed to go back to our happy zone.

Vanessa whispered that we go upstairs. We left everyone, the club was huge. She led the way,
she used a card to open a room upstairs. We got in, it was a beautiful little room.
“This is beautiful”, I looked around.
“I want to show you something”, she said. I was curious. She got on the bed and reached for a
shoe box on top of the shelf.
“I found this”, she opened the shoe box.
“Wow! Wow! Wow!” I couldn’t believe my eyes. There was cash and a 9×99 mm pistol. “Where
did you find this?” I asked.
“Somewhere. I wanted to show you because I trust you a lot. I don’t know how I can take this
home without anyone noticing. Do you have any advice?” She asked.
“Uhm. You can put it in a bag but you can leave the pistol, just take the money only”, I said.
“You’re right, I wonder how I didn’t think of that. I guess you’re going to get your percentage”
“Percentage? No, I don’t deserve it”
“You helped me out. I will give you maybe 10%”
“No, it’s your money, you found it”
“Okay, how much do you think it is?”
“Didn’t you count the money?”
“No, I found it a few hours ago. I was too busy”
“It looks like it’s a lot of money”
“Yeah, maybe God gave me this money for a reason”
“Charity?”
“No silly. I could use some shopping, the restaurant paid me peanuts. Don’t you wanna work
here?”
“I don’t like the idea of working at a club. Hakeem tried enforcing that idea on me but it didn’t
work”
“This place pays like crazy. It’s your loss Yoliswa”

Vanessa took the money and we left the room. We went to join the others, they were dancing
except for Hakeem and Raymond. Vanessa went to dance, I was left with Hakeem and
Raymond.
“Excuse me guys”, Raymond stood up and left. It was awkward silence. I didn’t know what to
say, he broke the silence.
“Where did you and Vanessa disappear to?” He asked.
“She was just showing me around”, I lied.
“Okay”, he nodded.
“So how’s your girlfriend?” I asked.
“She’s not my girlfriend yet Yoliswa”
“Okay, your female friend who’s going to be your girlfriend soon”
“I’m still getting to know her”
“Okay. How’s life?”
“Good, yours?”
“I won’t exactly say it’s good but I’m getting there”
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t want to talk about it”
“I respect that. Have you found someone special?”
“Hakeem I told you I got out of a relationship – ”
“I understand. Do you still love him?”
“No”
“Did he hurt you?”
“You ask too many questions, Hakeem”
“I’m just curious”
“We’re in a club, I want to have fun not discuss my ex. That’s depressing”
“If you say so”

I spent the evening dancing my youth away. At around 1am, the girls wanted to leave but
Vanessa wasn’t in sight. We spread and started looking for her. I looked for her in another room,
no one was there. I stumbled through empty boxes and I got out via the back door. I called her,
but there was no reply. I saw Jabu, he zipped his pants. It looks like he was peeing, he was
smoking a cigarette.
“You bitch, where are your friends now?” He walked towards me.
“Leave me alone”, I said.
“I saw you smiling when your friends were talking shit to us”, he pulled my hair. I kicked him in
his private area.
“You bitch!” He fell to the ground.
“I said leave me alone”, I ran. When I got into the club, the girls were now looking for me. They
found Vanessa. Raymond drove us to our apartment.
We had an incredible night out.

#11: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

We got to the apartment, the time was around 3am. Sihle and Puleng went to sleep. Vanessa
showed me the money she stacked on her purse.
“Let’s count it”, she whispered. We counted the money.
“R4770…R4780…R4790…R5000. Wow, it’s R5000”, said Vanessa. It was a lot of money. “Are
you sure you don’t want at least 10% of the money?” She asked again. I didn’t want her money
because I didn’t know where it came from.
“No, I’m fine”, I said.
“Are you going to work tomorrow?” She asked. How could she even ask me that question?
“Of course”, I responded. “I have to sleep, I don’t want to be late for work”, I said.
“Okay, good night”, Vanessa put the money back in her purse.
“Good night”, I went to sleep. My eyes were really heavy, I needed to sleep.

The next morning, I got ready for work. Sihle was applying make-up in the bedroom.
“Do you think it’s a good idea for me to invite Vixen to live with us today?” I asked her. Sihle
nodded her head and replied, “What you doing is great, but you only met this girl once. How do
you know she’s not trouble?”
“You girls also welcomed me into your apartment the very same day I met you guys. You
trusted me, just like I trust Vixen. She won’t screw me over”, I said.
“If you say so”, she shrugged.
“Will you accompany me there”
“Where?”
“Where she’s currently living”
“Yoliswa you can’t be serious”
“Please Sihle”
“I’m scared”
“It’s not a dangerous place. Okay, we won’t get in, we’ll just stand outside and wait for her or
call her”
“Did you tell Vanessa and Puleng?”
“Where are they now?”
“Come on Yoliswa. So you didn’t tell them? I thought you promised to – ”
“I didn’t get the right chance. We were drinking and dancing the whole evening”
“I don’t know Yoliswa”
“Please Sihle, I’m begging you”
“Uhm – ”
“Please Sihle”
“Eish, I don’t know. I – ”
“I will return the favour. Please”
“Yoliswa – ”
“Do you want me to go down on my knees? Because I can”
“You don’t have to do it. Okay, okay, okay. Just promise we will stand outside, not go in and
stuff”
“I promise. Thank you very much Sihle”
“You will call me, okay? We can meet at the place you work in, maybe have lunch first”
“That sounds great”
“Okay. Let me love and leave you. I don’t wanna be late for my lecture”
“Okay, see you later”
“Later!”

I took a taxi to work. Luckily, I wasn’t late. I didn’t have a good night’s sleep, I slept late and
woke up early. We had thirty minutes until the opening of the restaurant. Vicky was wiping the
counter, I went to apologise and ask her about my mother.
“Good morning”, I greeted.
“Good morning”, she carried on wiping the counter.
“I’m sorry for breaking the rules and I’d like to apologise on behalf of Vanessa too”, I said.
“I forgave you long time ago but you don’t have to apologise for her. It was only a matter of time
before she left this place. She’s used to doing this”, she said.
“I’m also sorry for the way I reacted when you told me about my mother. I’m truly grateful for the
information, I’ll look for her”
“It’s satisfying to hear that”
“Thank you”
“You’re welcome. As long as you stick to the rules”
“I will, I’ve learnt my lesson”
“Good”

It was nice having a chat with Vicky, it was much needed. I had to fix my relationship with
Nosipho, as much as she says it’s okay I know it’s not okay. She just spoke on the phone, she
was glowing after that phone call.
“Hey Nos”, I smiled.
“Yoliswa, hey”, she said.
“How are you?” I asked.
“I’m good and you”
“I’m great. It’s good to see you glowing”
“Glowing? Stop being silly”
“Was that your boyfriend?”
“Boyfriend? No, that was my cousin brother”
“Who are you fooling?”
“It’s been a while since we spoke and he’s really funny”
“Oh, is it him?”
“Who?”
“The one you were dating? The girls told me”
“Yeah, I don’t want to talk about my relationship with Thando”
“I respect that. I just wanted to clear things between us – ”
“If you’re talking about that Raymond thing, don’t waste your time. Believe me when I say, I’m
over him. I know he did that to make me jealous, he was just being a big toddler. I don’t give a
damn about him. What books were you two talking about?”
“We share a passion for books – ”
“Wait, what? Raymond hates books. He doesn’t like reading”
“Really? He even bought me books. No wonder he didn’t start reading his books”
“He’s lying to you. He wants to get close to you, I think he likes you”
“Likes me?”
“Duh! Can’t you see?”
“He can’t like me because Hakeem likes me. Well, although he’s getting to know another girl, I
know he likes me”
“Do you like him?”
“He’s a good guy”
“Huh-ah, let’s try again. Do you like him?”
“Kinda”
“I’ll take that as a yes”
“I have this silly crush on him”
“Does he know?”
“I’m not crazy!”
“Yoliswa, you should let him know before he gets into a relationship with this girl”
“I’m not ready for a relationship”
“Maybe you are but you’re afraid”
“Maybe”
“Hakeem is a sweetheart, Raymond is a bad boy”
“Last night Hakeem, Raymond and Rashidi were pricking fun at Kwame, it was really funny.
Kwame was pissed”
“No, poor Kwame”
“I wish you were there”
“It sounds like lots of fun but I don’t want to be around Vanessa. She makes me sick! The way
she embarrassed herself in the restaurant just the other day. She likes attention”
“I hope you get to know her even better, she’s cool”
“Cool? Vanessa? Wow, not at all. Whatever, let’s not talk about that girl. She makes me sick”

The restaurant finally opened, customers came in bit by bit. In no time, the restaurant was
packed as usual. That Tyler guy entered the restaurant with his infamous briefcase and
newspaper. He sat down, I went to take his order. This time, he wanted a vegetable salad and
soda water. I was surprised.
“Care to explain the sudden change in your facial expression?” He asked me.
“I thought you were going to order your favourite meal”, I said.
“Who said Ground Round Steak with salad, potatoes and a diet Coke was my favourite?” He
asked.
“I guessed since you always – ”
“That’s the problem, you ‘guessed’. Yolanda, Yo something, whatever you name is, how long
have you worked here?”
“I’m Yoliswa not Yolanda or Yo something. I’ve been working here for a while”
“That doesn’t sound like a long time to me. Look, please get me my food, I’m hungry”
“Why are you so rude?!”
“Excuse me?”
“You come in here, with your fancy suit, briefcase and newspaper – ”
“Some of us have real jobs here”
“Wow, so what am I doing?”
“You’re backchatting, or is that what you do around here?”
“I’m tired of your shade. I wish you could shut that hole so bullshit doesn’t fall out”
“Do you want me to get up, go to the kitchen and get my food?”
“You need to get a bag over that personality. I’ll get your food”
I was angry at this rude Tyler guy. He was rude, I disliked him. He dampened my mood. I went
to get his food, I placed it on the table. I didn’t even say a word. He didn’t even say thank you.
What an asshole!

Hours went by, my shift ended. I gave Sihle a call, she said she was on her way. I really hoped
we could find Vixen.
She finally arrived.

“Hey girlfriend”, she took a seat. “Is this place always packed?” She asked.
“Yes”, I replied.
“I’m starving, can we take an order now?” She asked.
“Of course”, I replied.
We ordered something to eat.
“Last night you and Vanessa disappeared, where were you?” She asked.
“Uhm, we…we…we just went to the bathroom, to refresh”, I said.
“Oh, okay. So how was seeing Hakeem again?”
“Sihle!”
“What? Come on, there’s chemistry between you guys, there’s no denying”
“First Nosipho, now you”
“What? Was it good seeing him again?”
“It was good, yeah. He’s getting to know some girl, so…”
“So what? So you’re gonna let him go just like that?”
“Arg!”
“He likes you and you like him. There’s no need for us to do the maths here”
“I can’t be with him”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want to be in a relationship. I told him that too and look where his heart is at
now”
“You pushed him away”
“No I didn’t. It got to a point where we stopped communicating. I don’t know what went wrong,
he says I’m not the girl he first me. Did I change?”
 “I wouldn’t say you’ve changed because when you first came to Jozi, I didn’t know you. To me,
you haven’t changed. Maybe he didn’t think you were a party animal”
“Is there something wrong with being a party animal because he parties too?”
“Maybe that’s the problem. I don’t know, you should give him a call maybe”
“I will, when I get the chance”

After we were done with lunch, we walked to where Metaphor lived. Sihle was really scared but I
loved the fact that she accompanied me. She’s such a great friend.
I hope we find Vixen.

#12: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

We got to where Vixen temporary lived. We didn’t get in, we shouted her name.
“It’s so dark”, said Sihle.
“When you get in, it’s not that dark at all”, I said.
“Do you think she’s not here?” Asked Sihle.
“I don’t know. Maybe”, I said.
We waited for a short while before she finally showed up with shopping bags.
“Hey Yoliswa, if you’re looking for Metaphor he’s at work”, she said.
“We’re here for you. Vixen, this is my friend Sihle, we share an apartment with other girls. We
would love you to come stay with us”, I said. She was really surprised.
“Wow. Really?” She asked.
“The streets aren’t safe”, said Sihle.
“Thank you guys but I don’t have enough money to rent”, she said.
“No, you can stay with us until there’s something going for you”, I said.
“I was at the mall, how long were you guys here?” She asked.
“For a while”, I said. She went inside. Sihle looked at me and whispered, “Where did she get the
money to shop at such an expensive shop?” I didn’t reply to what she said, I just smiled meekly.
I got in, just to help Vixen pack her clothes. Sihle followed. We helped her pack her clothes.
“I need to tell Metaphor that I’m moving out. You guys don’t mind passing by the book shop?”
She asked.
Sihle looked at me, she knew I wasn’t ready to face Metaphor.
“Is there a problem with that? I can go there by myself, you can wait for me here”, she said. I
quickly responded, “We’ll go with you”. Sihle looked at me wide eyed. “Are you sure Yoliswa?”
She asked.
“Yes”, I replied. Vixen smiled at me. The truth is I wasn’t ready to meet Metaphor again. He’s
nothing but a chancer and a manipulator, I’m helping Vixen by moving out. Maybe he arranged
someone to fool Vixen too, who knows? After we were done with the packing, we walked to the
bookshop. Sihle and Vixen spoke, I was too lost in my own thoughts to even participate in the
conversation.

We finally arrived at the book shop. Vixen told Metaphor that she’s moving out and will be living
with us. Metaphor was happy to hear that. He wanted us to speak but I had nothing to say to
him.
“Please give me a few minutes”, he whispered. He begged me, I finally gave in. Sihle and Vixen
left, I told them I will meet them at the apartment.
“Thanks for giving me a chance to finally talk to you”, he said.
“Get straight to the point, I don’t have time for this”, I said.
“Look, I’ve been trying to get ahold of Jeffrey – ”
“Don’t even mention his name!”
“I’m sorry, I feel like this is all my fault. I shouldn’t have introduced him to you”
“Yes, this all your fault. Can I go now?”
“Don’t be like that, please. I’m really sorry – ”
“I don’t want anything to do with you”
“Yoliswa, I said I’m sorry! Damn it! What’s wrong with you?”
“Go to hell with your attitude!”
“Okay, I’m sorry for overreacting but I’m tired of apologising over and over again for something I
had absolute no knowledge about”
“You had no knowledge about what his intentions were? Ha!”
“What does that supposed to mean? What Yoliswa?”
“I don’t trust you Tshepo, you played me. I give you a fucking compliment for fooling me!”
“So now you’re going to hate me because of this?”
“I don’t trust you!”
“Let’s go to the police right now so you can report Jeffrey. I’m tired of this!”
“I don’t want!”
“What do you want then?”
“I want you to leave me alone. That would make my life complete”
“Your life won’t be complete, you’re so unhappy!”
“You don’t know me to be making such conclusions!”
“I may not know you that well but your unhappiness doesn’t go unnoticed. If you carry on living
your life like this, you will end up being an angry, bitter person”
“Stop acting like you know everything, you’re not as clever as you act. My advice to you is to go
home, stop living on the streets and go get your brother!”
“Don’t talk about my brother!”
“I just did”
“Get out Yoliswa, I’ve been nothing but kind to you. I never wanted anything from you! Nothing!
I don’t think you’re going to find your mother anytime soon because you have trust issues. Work
on yourself and not others”
“I’ll pray for you Tshepo”
“Don’t pray for me Yoliswa, pray for yourself!”

I walked to the apartment, I was really angry. When I got to the apartment, Sihle was showing
Vixen around.
“You’ll share a bed with me”, I told Vixen. I got a phone call from Vanessa, she wanted us to
meet at the club. I quickly made my way to the club.

When I got to the club, Vanessa was seating on the sofa, I went to her.
“What seems to be the problem?” I asked her.
“I need your help”, she said nervously.
“I’m listening”, I said.
“Yoliswa, I need you to keep something for me. Keep it in a safe place, no one should see it”,
she said.
“What is that you’re talking about?”
“Yoliswa, I have this box – ”
“No, no, no – no!”
“At least hear me out for a minute, please”
“I don’t want to keep some box I don’t even know what’s inside. That sounds very criminal-like,
I’m sorry Vee but I can’t help you”
 “I trust you, I really do. That’s why I’m open with you. I just want you to keep the box for only
two days. That’s all, two days, please”
“What’s inside the box?”
“Money”
“Where did you get that money from?”
“Rashidi”
“Where did he get that money from?”
“I don’t know, he asked me to keep it safe for him but I’m always busy – ”
“And I’m not?”
“You only work a few hours, a few days a week. I work every single day. Please”
“I would like to help you but I can’t, I’m really sorry”
“You don’t need to be sorry Yoliswa, it’s okay”
“Uhm…I need to tell you something”
“What’s that?”
“We have a new roommate. She used to live on the street, she – ”
“What?! Why am I only knowing about this now?”
“I was meaning to tell you. Really, I…it just slipped my mind. Sihle accompanied me to where
this girl lived. I think you’re familiar with Metaphor, are you not?”
“That bastard, yes!”
“Her name is Vixen, the streets aren’t good for a beautiful girl like her. She’ll move out when
she’s financially stable”
“I hope that’s soon”
“I don’t know about that”
“Oh well, what can I say? She’s already at the apartment”
“Yeah. Uhm…if that was all?”
“Yes, thanks for your time my friend. See you tonight. Do bring that new girl, I want to meet her”
“Alright, see you later”

I left the club. I took a cab to the apartment. When I got to the apartment, the girls were having a
conversation. Puleng seems to gel well with the new girl. I went straight to my bedroom, I took
out my notepad and started writing:
“I wish I was immune to being hurt. I feel like my soul has been crushed into tiny pieces. My
hopes were thrown back at me like sharp spears. Piercing me bit by bit. I cried till I could not cry
no more, my voice was stolen by a filthy man. I need my voice back, it seems like the only voice
I have left is the one only heard when reading words written by a distorted girl that is me. I wish I
live in a fictional world, a fairytale to be quite exact. Fairytales have good endings, I need that in
my life”.

Later in the evening, we got ready to hit the club. Vixen and myself were sharing a mirror, I
asked her where she got the money for the clothes she bought earlier. It was totally
inappropriate but I was curious.
“My boyfriend bought me these clothes”, she replied.
“Where does your boyfriend live?” I asked.
“Why are you so curious?” She asked.
“I’m sorry, I’m just a curious being”, I laughed.
“He lives in Sandton”, she said.
“Okay. Are you ready for tonight?”
“Yeah, it’s been a while since I went out”
“It’s going to be a great night, trust me. Club Diamond is a great club, you’ll meet Vanessa
there. She’s a club promoter, we used to work at the same restaurant”
“I’ve heard some interesting things about her, I can’t wait to finally meet her”
“She’s a cool person”
“That’s what I’ve gathered”

We all got ready and took a cab to Club Diamond. I was excited for Vixen to finally meet
Vanessa. When we got to the club, it was packed. Vanessa was seated at a table with Rashidi,
Hakeem, Kwame and Raymond. We went to join them, Hakeem kissed Vixen and hugged her. I
later learned that this is Vixen’s ‘boyfriend’. I was so shocked. I just wanted to get really drunk.
We were having a great time, Vanessa signalled that we go upstairs. We went to that room
again.
“Let me show you this box I’m talking about”, she reached for the box.
“It’s really not necessary”, I said. She opened the box, it was full of money.
“See? It’s a lot of cash”, she said.
“Where did Rashidi get this amount of money?”
“This is a really successful business”
“Why didn’t he just deposit the money to his bank?”
“I asked him the same thing, you know these foreigners like to flash, they flex a lot”
“But still, it doesn’t make sense”
“I’ll keep this box in my bedroom”
“That sounds like a good idea”
“I hope that bitch Puleng doesn’t get sneaky with me”
“Of course she won’t, don’t you trust your best friend?”
“I do but these days, I don’t know”
“I don’t think she’s that type of person”
We got out of the room and we went to join the rest. Hakeem and Vixen were so in love, they
were really touchy. Vanessa looked at me and winked.

The guys bought us alcohol. The trouble gang weren’t bothering us. On my way to the
bathroom, I saw a tall black man coming towards me. He had a neatly trimmed beard.
“Hey sexy”, he said.
“Hey”, I said.
“Go to the bathroom, I’ll wait for you here”, he said confidently. I took his offer, I went to the
bathroom, when I came back he was seated in the corner. I went there, he was sitting alone.
“Tell me, is your name beautiful?” He asked. I giggled, “Was that a pick up line?” I asked.
“Can I have your number? Because I’m writing a telephone book, now that’s a pick up line”, he
said.
“Hmm. Okay”, I smiled. I could see Hakeem from across the room looking at me.
“Wipe that smile off your face, I don’t want your boyfriend to injure me”
“Boyfriend?”
“Don’t you have one of those?”
“Nah”
“I’m your boyfriend then”
“So fast?”
“Yes. You still haven’t told me your name”
“I’m Yoliswa”
“I’m Thando”
“Nice to meet you Thando”
“Nice to meet you too sexy, I mean Yoliswa”
“You’re such a flirt”
“I’ve been told. I should come here much often just to bump into beauties like yourself”
“Are you from around?”
“This used to be my club. It was a strip club, I sold it to my mate, Martin. I have to say, he
turned it into a beautiful place. Not that it wasn’t beautiful in my days but I’m happy with the
change”
“Do you live in Jo’burg?”
“I moved to Pretoria. I live there now”
“Wait, so you’re this King Pin guy?”
“Yes, but I would like you to call me Thando, please”
“Does Nosipho know you’re in town?”
“I gave her a call just after I landed a few hours ago. Hey! You know Nosipho?”
“Yes, she’s my friend”
“I want to be your friend as well. Cuz didn’t tell me she had such hot friends. Now I want to
meet all her friends”
“This is really awkward”
“What?”
“I attract every guy that has had something going on with Nosipho in the past. This is awkward”
“It’s not awkward at all. Are you here with friends or what?”
“Yes, they’re seated right there”
“Those losers?”
“Don’t call them losers”
“I don’t like Raymond, he doesn’t like me as well. We just tolerate each other”
“He’s a cool guy”
“Look, I would like us to meet tomorrow, how’s that?”
“I don’t know”
“Please, I want to see you again. I have to leave right now, I’m so tired. I haven’t slept for 20
hours. I want us to continue our conversation tomorrow over a cup of coffee or tea, whatever
suits you”
“Uhm – ”
 “If you don’t say yes, I’ll go back to my place, slit my wrist while Drake is playing in the
background”
“You’re funny! Okay”
“Okay?”
“Yes, Thando”
“Please give me your number”
I gave him my number, he was a really a cool humorous guy. He left, I went to join the gang.
Hakeem wasn’t looking impressed at all.

I noticed Vanessa and Raymond were missing. I asked Sihle, she had no idea where they went.
The drinks kept coming and coming, I was in a different state. I went outside, looking for
Vanessa for some weird reason. I got out via the back door. I heard the back door shutting, I
turned and it was Jabu.
“What are you doing here? You’re so obsessed with me”, I said.
“Bitch you’ve gotten away with a lot of shit. I don’t let a bitch walk all over me”, he said.
“Get lost you asshole”, I said. He grabbed me by my hair, pushed me and I fell. He grabbed me
up, knocked me against the wall, he called me all types of names. He smacked me, chocked me
and told me I was going to die a painful death. I cried, he overpowered me. I just heard two
shots, he looked me in the eyes. His eyes were rolling back, I could feel his weight all over me.
He fell to the ground, my dress had blood stains. Raymond came over to me, he was carrying a
gun. Vanessa was fixing her dress and wearing her shoes.

“Are you okay?” Raymond hugged me. I didn’t know what to say. “That bastard deserved to
die”, he said.
“My friend, are you okay?” Vanessa was worried.
“Yes”, I nodded.
“Let’s take you home”, said Raymond. He took off his jacket and he placed it on my shoulders.
“I’ll deal with him”, said Raymond.
I was so shaken. Raymond gave me and Vanessa a lift home.

#13: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

In the morning, I had a terrible hangover. I didn’t even want to think about what happened to
Jabu. My mind kept going back to that moment, not when he was shot but Vanessa fixing her
dress and wearing her shoes. She and Raymond disappeared, it all added up to one thing. Last
night was just an approval that Jo’burg is sin city. Hakeem came to visit his girlfriend but she
went out for a jog around the neighbourhood.
“Your girl is out”, I said.
“Do you know when she’ll be back?” He asked.
“Not at all”, I replied.
“I saw you and King Pin last night, it looked like you were having a great time”, he said.
“Yes, it’s been a while since a man made me laugh so hard”, I said.
“He’s a ladies’ man. I’m just letting you know this so you don’t get surprised”
“Surprised? Why would I be surprised?”
“When he cheats on you”
“Who said I was going to date him?”
“Girls fall for his tricks”
“You talk like you’re one of these ‘girls’. Has he broken your heart?”
“Is that supposed to be a joke?”
“I’m happy that you’re looking out for me Hakeem but I think you should use all those efforts on
your girlfriend, Vixen”
“She’s not my girlfriend as yet – ”
“But she calls you her boyfriend”
“I’m getting to know her”
“Have you guys had sex yet?”
“No, why?”
“That answers everything”
“What are you talking about?”
“If she gives in, she’ll get the girlfriend badge, right?”
“Not everything is about sex”
“They all say so”
“But that’s the truth, not everything is about sex”
“What type of guy are you? Your girl lived on the streets ever since she came to Jo’burg. You
didn’t even care to offer her a place to crash in”
“This is new to me. She lived on the streets?”
“You didn’t know?”
 “No! No wonder she didn’t want me to visit her. She made silly excuses about how dirty her flat
is. I thought it was just typical girly behaviour”
“I’m sorry to be the one to break the news to you”
“No, thank you. I have to go”
“Please don’t judge her”
“Bye Yoliswa”
I didn’t know that Vixen kept where she recently lived a secret. I hope I didn’t cause any
problems. I got a phone call from Thando, he told me he wanted us to meet at Jump Cafe. I
even forgot that I promised to meet him the next morning. I got ready.
A cab dropped me at Jump Cafe. I looked for him in the restaurant, I found him busy on his
phone. I went to sit with him. When he was done with his call, he greeted me with the most
beautiful smile.
“Slept well?” He asked.
“Like a baby”, I replied.
“I just got off the phone with a friend I recently met. He bought Raymond’s club from Martin
because Raymond sold it to Martin. I renovated my club, gave it a different name but I ended up
selling it to Martin. Now my friend wants me to invest in his new club. He’s giving me 35%”, he
said.
“Are you going to invest in his club then?” I asked.
“I will but 35% is too little”
“What percent are you looking at settling for?”
“50%”
“Do you think he will agree with that?”
“He has no choice. I know I’ll invest more money than him. If I was a crook, I’d want than 50%”
“Makes sense”
“Let’s stop with this business talk and talk about you”
“What do you want to know?”
“Where are you from? Why are you single? What do you do for a living?”
“I’m from East London in the Eastern Cape. I’m a waitress at this restaurant. I’m single because
I just got out of a long relationship and I’m still finding myself”
“Can I help you find yourself?”
“Ah, Thando!”
“I’m kidding. I could just spend the whole day looking at you without saying a word”
“Why’s that?”
“You’re beautiful, I’m trying to concentrate here”
“Can I know a bit more about you. I only know your name, what you do and that you’re
Nosipho’s cousin”
“That’s me basically. There’s nothing interesting about me”
“You look like an interesting guy”
“So you’ve been analyzing me? Okay”
“Not like that!”
“It’s okay”
“Do you have a kid?”
“Yes, I have a son. He lives with his mother”
“Do you have a good relationship with your baby momma?”
“I wouldn’t say it’s a good one but we’re trying for the sake of the kid”
“Do you visit your kid much often?”
“Yeah. Do you have a kid?”
“No, not at all”
“Okay. My past experiences changed my life, I’m not the person I used to be. People will
probably tell you things about me, please do me a favour and block everything you hear. I know
the people you hang out with don’t really like me”
“Don’t worry”
“I would like to be your tour guide, show you around”
“Hmm – ”
“I have a feeling you just go to work, go home and party”
“And go to the bookshop”
“I can give you a tour”
“I can actually take you up on that offer”
“You must. Okay, can we order?”
“Of course”

Thando was a really fun guy to be around. He made me laugh. After having breakfast with
Thando, I went to Diamond Lounge or as we call it, Club Diamond. Vanessa was typing on a
laptop.
“Good morning my friend”, she said.
“Is he dead?” I asked.
“Who are you talking about?” She asked.
“Jabu, is he dead?” I asked again.
“Oh, him. I don’t know”, she said.
“What do you mean you don’t know Vee?”
“Just like you, I don’t know”
“Vanessa, what’s going on between you and Raymond?”
“Nothing”
“It didn’t seem like nothing last night”
“You wanna know the truth?”
“Yes”
“We’re just fucking”
“How long have you been sleeping with him?”
“Since Hakeem’s party”
“That’s a long time”
“Yep”
“Oh”
“I need you here, these bitches are dumb”
“You do know I have a job, right?”
“Yoliswa come on, R750 per week is nothing. You can get that money in one hour here”
“I’ll think about it”
“If you love your job that much, you can work two jobs then. There and here”
“Tyler isn’t making my job easier, he’s a difficult and rude customer”
“The customers here are friendly”
“Okay”
“So you’ll work here?”
“Yes, I’m tired of the rude ungrateful customers. I’ll call and tell Vicky I quite. Tomorrow is pay
day”
“You can’t even make it rain with R750 in the club my friend”
“Not at all”
“I’m happy now. You won’t regret your decision my friend”
“I hope not”
“My friend! That Vixen girl is dating Hakeem! I was so shocked”
“Yeah. Me too”
“Do you regret bringing her to the apartment?”
“No”
“Hakeem was jealous when you were speaking to that guy last night”
“Did you know he’s King Pin? He sold this club to Martin”
“No ways!”
“Yes ways”
“Okay, I didn’t know he’s that guy”
“He prefers to be called Thando. I met him for breakfast”
“My friend you don’t waste time”
“I promised him, I hate not delivering – ”
“My friend, I’m watching you”
“Why?”
“You sneaky bitch! I’m watching you my friend”
“Why though?”
“I remember having a chat with a skinny stripper girl the other day, she told me she had a kid
with King Pin. That name rang bells, watch out”
“He told me he has a kid”
“You like him?”
“I only met him last night, he’s a great person. A funny guy”
“I’m watching you”
“I’m also watching you and Raymond”
“Raymond? He’s not my man and he’ll never be my man”

We had an interesting conversation. Vanessa is insane, I love her. We have a lot of things in
common. She’s very ambitious, like me. We know exactly what we want. I know I said I was
against working at the club but the money I get as a waitress is too little. Vanessa gave me
Raymond’s phone number, I called him, I told him I wanted to see him urgently. He said he was
in the neighbourhood so he’ll pass by.

Vixen was not home, I figured she came to refresh then went to her boyfriend’s house. I waited
for Raymond for a couple of minutes. He finally arrived.
“You said it was urgent”, he said.
“I just wanted to ask you something”, I said.
“Okay, ask”, he said.
“Is he dead?”
“Yoliswa – ”
“Raymond please tell me”
“Yoliswa – ”
“Yes or no?”
“No”
“Where’s his body?”
“I think it’s better if you don’t know. Yesterday didn’t happen, okay?”
“Just like you and Vanessa?”
“Did we have to?”
“Yes – ”
“I don’t owe you any explanations Yoliswa. In fact, I’m tired of you”
“What?”
“You’re up there, you always act like you have high standards”
“Really? Just because I didn’t give in to your advances?”
“It’s not even about that, if I really wanted you, I would have gotten you. I always get what I
want”
“Now why are you bitter?”
“I’m not bitter. No, Yoliswa – I’m not bitter”
“You’re being totally wrong right now”
“I’m sorry but maybe this was a good opportunity for me to express myself. You’re so uptight,
learn to loosen up”
“I won’t change who I am to please anyone. If you have a problem with who I am then you don’t
deserve to be in my circle”
“Don’t take it like that, you’re a cool girl but loosen up sometimes”
“Loosen up and fuck at the back of the club? Act like I don’t care?”
“Can we drop the subject? I see you’re getting worked up. Are you okay?”
“I’m okay”
“Look, tomorrow I’m going back home”
“Oh?”
“Kinshasa in the DRC”
“Is everything well back home?”
“Yes, I’m just going to visit my family and son”
“That’s good”
“I don’t want to leave knowing you’re angry at me”
“I’m not angry at you”
“I won’t party tonight, I have an early flight tomorrow morning”
“Okay, travel well”
“I will, thanks”
“When are you coming back?”
“I don’t know when. And I don’t know if I’ll come back to Johannesburg”
“Really?”
“Yes, let me get going. How far are you with the books?”
“It’s been a while”
“Okay. Let me get going”
“Take care Raymond”
“Okay, you too Yoliswa”

I was so lonely, I was home alone. Vixen was at Hakeem’s place.

#14: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

I took a long nap. When I woke up, Sihle, Puleng and Vixen were home. Sihle came to the
bedroom.
“Hey lover. I saw you sleeping, I didn’t wanna wake you up. Are you okay?” She asked.
“I’m alright, I was just tired”, I said.
“You were jerking and mumbling. It seemed like you were having a bad dream”, she said.
“Maybe”, I said. I was worried that one day I will talk in my sleep about the Jabu incident.
“Are you ready for the night ahead?” She asked. I looked at the time.
“What? It’s past six already? I slept that much? Wow”, I was shocked.
“You sleeping for those hours you’ve missed when you went clubbing, came home early
morning and went to work hours later”, she said.
“Maybe you’re right. But I feel good. I’m ready for the night ahead”, I said.
“Uh – Mbali gave me a call minutes earlier, she and Nosipho are joining us tonight”
“That’s good to hear”
“The more the merrier, right?”
“Yeah. I haven’t seen Mbali in a while”
“Let me make myself something to eat. Can I get you something?”
“Uhm, no thanks – I’m fine”
“Alright”

I managed to get out of bed. I felt like taking a quick shower just to be refresh. I took the shower,
I heard a familiar voice. It was Nosipho greeting the ladies, she came with Mbali. I was still in
the shower.
I came out of the bathroom with my towel wrapped around me.
“Hey ladies”, I greeted Nosipho and Mbali.
“Hey”, they sang.
“Let me quickly change, I’ll join you girls soon”, I headed to the bedroom to change. I heard the
girls talking loudly and laughing. After I was done getting dressed and beautifying myself, I went
to join everyone. I was really happy to see the girls back together again, Vanessa was the only
missing link.

“I really missed you”, Nosipho smiled at me.

“Really? Aaaw! I missed you too. I’m gonna miss you even more since I won’t be working at the
restaurant anymore”, I said. The whole room was just quiet. Nosipho awkwardly smiled and said
nothing.
“Wow. Do you have a new job?” Puleng asked.
“Yes, Diamond Lounge”, I responded. I saw Nosipho’s eyes widen.
“That place pays a lot of cash, Vanessa told me. Good choice”, said Puleng.
“Is your cute cousin coming tonight? I’m asking for a friend”, Sihle said to Nosipho. The
awkward mood just disappeared into thin air.
“I wonder which friend you’re talking about”, Nosipho gave me a naughty look.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” I laughed.
“He is”, Nosipho said. “And he’s looking forward to seeing you, Yoliswa”, she said. I just started
blushing, I don’t know why but I started blushing.

Vixen was really distant, I figured it’s the fact that I told Hakeem that she lived on the streets. I
didn’t mean to, it just came out. If I had a time machine, I’d go back in time and correct things.
After a few hours of great laughter and conversation, our cab pulled out outside.
The driver drove us to Diamond Lounge where we were welcomed by an enthusiastic Vanessa.
She led us to our table, Hakeem and Rashidi were already there. There were many bottles of
alcohol, I was in heaven. Vixen sat next to Hakeem, I could sense the tension between the two.
I still feel bad for telling Hakeem, I seriously thought he knew.

We all took shots of Vodka except for Nosipho, she was sitting in the corner. I went over to her.
“Why are you so distant?” I asked her.
“It’s nothing really, I’m just waiting for Thando”, she said.
“Okay but you can join us. We’re having shots of Vodka”, I said.
“No”, she declined.
“What’s wrong Nosipho?”
“Yoliswa, go have fun”
“Nosipho how can I have fun when I know a friend of mine isn’t having fun?”
“It’s cool, really”
“No it’s not. I know this isn’t the right place to get all emo but tell me what’s bothering you – ”
“Nothing – ”
“Really?”
“It’s been a while since I went out. This place is just…I don’t want to talk about it”
“This place is just what?”
“Memories Yoliswa, there I said it”
“I thought you said you were over everything, you’ve moved on”
“I thought so too”
“So what will you do now?”
“I’ll wait for Thando, I told him I’ll wait for him”
“You can join us – ”
“Please, go and have fun”
“Are you sure?”
Vanessa dragged me to the dance floor, I was still talking to Nosipho. We danced. Minutes later
I saw Thando entering the club, I carried on dancing. Vanessa put her hands around my neck
and whispered in my ear, “Foxy told me what kind of man your new crush is. As your friend,
your best friend, don’t even cross that path my friend.” I was confused, I didn’t even say
anything, I continued dancing. As I was dancing, I could see Hakeem and Vixen talking in the
corner, judging by their facial expressions, it wasn’t a ‘cute’ conversation. My eyes met
Hakeem’s, I quickly looked away. I was planning to have a great night but it’s just dramatic. We
went to join the girls.
Downing alcohol, again and again and again! I switched my phone off. Rashidi expressed how
happy he is that I’ll be working at Diamond Lounge. I wanted to go over to Thando and say Hi
but I kept thinking about what Vanessa told me.

We spent hours at the dance floor, I was high, very high. Hakeem left with Vixen. Sihle and
Puleng were getting ready to leave but I wasn’t ready.
“Let’s go home”, said Sihle.
“Go home without me, I’ll leave with Vanessa”, I said.
“Are you sure?” Sihle asked.
“Yes”, I said.
“Sihle let’s leave her”, said Puleng.
“Okay, have fun. Come straight home, I don’t want to hear you went to some guy’s apartment”,
said Sihle.
“She’s old enough to make her own decisions Sihle. My feet are killing me, can we leave now?
My word!” Puleng was really impatient. They left.

Vanessa was kissing some guy, I decided to go to Thando and Nosipho.

“Hey guys”, I smiled.
“You’re high”, said Nosipho.
“Duh! Hey Thando”, I hugged him. I didn’t mean to hug him, it was the alcohol in me.
“You should go home. I can take you home”, said Thando.
“No! I want to have fun”, I said.
“Am I really seeing what I’m seeing? No ways”, said Nosipho. I turned around and there was
this girl, she was skinny.
“King Pin”, she smiled.
“Foxy what are you doing here?” Asked Thando. I remembered Vanessa told me about this girl,
she’s Thando’s baby momma. Also the girl that told Vanessa what kind of person Thando is.
“I just came to check out what’s happening here. Oh, hello Nosipho”, she said. Nosipho just left,
she didn’t say anything.
“Who are you?” She asked me.
“If you’re going to cause any problems, leave now”, said Thando.
“Or what will happen? This isn’t your club no more, you can’t throw me out”, she said.
“If you’re here, who’s with my kid?” Asked Thando.
“A nanny”, she replied.
“Let’s hope you’re telling the truth”, said Thando.
“I am! Why are you always doubting me King Pin?” She asked.
“Because you always give me a reason to doubt you. You even lied about getting a job as a
waitress”, he said.
“It was just once! I’m a secretary now”, she said. I couldn’t believe it! A secretary? Vanessa told
me she was a stripper.
King Pin had to drive her home, so he left.

I had an amazing time, I danced the night away with Vanessa. We went home at 3am, I was
more drunk than Vanessa, we took a cab home. When we got to the apartment, Sihle open and
closed the door. She dragged me to the bedroom, I slept on my bed immediately. When I woke
up in the morning, my head was heavy. I looked over at Sihle’s bed, it was neatly made. The
apartment was rather quiet, I went to look for the other girls. They were all gone, I saw a note on
the kitchen counter, it read, “I locked with my key, the other key is next to the tv – Sihle.” I had to
take a shower and go tell Vicky that I’m quitting. I checked my phone and I saw eight missed
calls from my cousin sister, Asisipho. I didn’t have airtime, I told myself that I’ll call her when I
buy airtime.

I took a cab to the restaurant. Vicky was mopping the floor, she was surprised to see me.
“Yoliswa, what can I do for you today? It’s not even your shift today”, she said.
“It’s important”, I said. Vicky dropped the mop.
“Okay, follow me”, we went to her small office. “What’s wrong?” She asked.
“I’ve been thinking and exploring my options for a while now and I’ve come to a conclusion. I
think it’s best for me to quit, it was lovely working here but I need this growth”, I said.
“Did you find a better job?” She asked.
“Kinda”, I said.
“Where?” She asked.
“It doesn’t really matter”, I said.
“Why? Why doesn’t it matter?”
“Vicky, that’s all I wanted to say”
“Did she influence your decision?”
“Excuse me, who are you talking about”
“Her”
“Vanessa?”
“Of course”
“Vicky, she didn’t influence me at all”
“Ha! If you say so”
“Really. Okay, thanks for everything”
“No problem, take care of yourself. Good luck in finding your mother”
“Alright, thank you”
I left her office and I went to the nearest ATM to withdraw money. I then bought airtime and I
dialled my cousin.

The phone rang, she didn’t answer. I dialled her number again.
“Yoliswa I tried calling you last night”, she said.
“Good morning and I’m fine thank you for asking”, I said.
“I don’t have time for games, we’ve been sweating the whole night. Grandma was rushed to
hospital, she’s in a critical condition”, she said.
“Will she be okay? Now I’m shaky”, I said.
“I don’t know, you must come down to East London”
“Asisipho just tell me the truth. Do you think she’s going to, you know, die?”
“I don’t know, she’s old. Whatever happens to her, I know she’d want to see you soon”
“I’ll be there tomorrow if I can”
“Alright”
“Send my greetings to everyone”
“Okay, bye”
“Bye”

I was so stressed, I earned R750, I can’t go back empty handed. With this R750 I’ll get transport
to East London, it’s not enough money. Maybe I should pay Vanessa a visited, she would be
happy if I asked her to lend me money since she insisted on that 10%. I took a cab to Diamond
Lounge.

#15: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

When I got to Diamond Lounge, Vanessa was talking to another girl. When she saw me, she
came to me.

“I wasn’t expecting you”, she said.

“I need your help”, I said.
“What’s wrong?” She asked.
“My granny is in hospital, I need to go back home ASAP. I want to go tomorrow but I don’t have
enough money. Can you please lend me a few hundreds?” I asked.
“No problem my friend. How much?” She asked.
“Enough”
“And how much is enough?”
“Uhm… Well, you – ”
“Come on my friend. Name an amount”
“R500”
“That’s too little”
“It’s fine”
“No it’s not. I’ll give you R2000”
“What? That’s too much”
“Come on, you need the money”
“I need the money but that’s too much”
“I insist, you’re my friend”
“I – ”
“Please, allow me to help you”
“Okay but I’ll pay you ASAP”
“No problem. I’ll give you tonight”
“Thank you my friend”
“See you later on”

I left the club. I was worried that my grandmother might pass away without seeing her daughter.
What will I tell them when they ask what I’ve found so far? I got a phone call from Nosipho
asking me to meet her for lunch, I couldn’t recline. I took a cab to the restaurant. She was
looking great.

“Hey Nosipho, you’re looking hot”, I hugged her.

“Hey Yoliswa baby, thanks. You’re also looking great”, she said.
“Before we go any further, I want to tell you something”, I said.
“What’s wrong?” She asked.
“I’m leaving for East London tomorrow, my grandmother is ill”, I said.
Nosipho shook her head, “I hope she will be fine. Me and Thando were planning to drive down
to the Eastern Cape this evening, you can tag along”, she said.
“Nosipho, I don’t want to be a problem”
“A problem? You’re my friend. And I know for a fact that Thando will be more than happy”
“Really?”
“Yes”
“You should speak to him first”
“I will let him know but you need to pack your clothes. We were planning to leave at 6pm”
“Alright, I don’t know how I can return the favour”
“Just be a good friend to me, that’s all”
“Wow, thank you very much”
“So tell me have you told Vicky?”
“Yes, I told her this morning”
“Did you tell her where you’ll be working next?”
“No ways, I couldn’t tell her”
“Why?”
“You’re starting to sound like her, please don’t start”
“I used to work at a club too, I know all about the excitement. One minute you’re on top of your
game, the next you’re at the bottom and you don’t even know how you got there. You start using
people at the top to make yourself feel…superior, you get?”
“Yes but we’re not the same”
“We don’t need to be the same to have the same experiences”
“I’m not going to experience what you experienced. I’m not going to make those decisions, I
know what I want”
“Sometimes you’re not aware of the decisions you make”
“Why don’t you trust me that much to know I’d never make such stupid mistakes? I don’t mean
to sound rude here Nosipho but I don’t have that rural mentality”
“Rural mentality?”
“Rural girls go to the city and since they’re not exposed to that life, they live the life they always
dreamt of by any means possible”
“I get you but – ”
“Not all of them are like that though”
“I was about to say. Okay, can we drop it now?”
“Thank you”
“So tell me about Hakeem”
“What about him?”
“I know you like him, I don’t want Thando to be disappointed”
“I used to like him”
“Oh? What happened?”
“By the way, what do you mean about Thando being disappointed? Why would he?”
“He likes you, I’m sure you know that”
“He just met me though”
“He’s attracted to you, you’re a beautiful girl. Do you blame him? You haven’t told me what
happened with Hakeem”
“Nothing happened with him, he’s dating a girl I helped get off the streets – ”
“Wait, what?”
“Let me finish. As I said, she’s dating a girl I helped get off the streets. I didn’t know they were
dating until we went to Club Diamond and I saw them kiss”
“You don’t like him because he’s dating this girl?”
“Nosipho, I’ve noticed I was only crushing on him, just a silly high school crush. Plus, Vixen is a
cool girl. I’d never do that to her”
“Good. Thando doesn’t like competition. Do you think Hakeem still likes you?”
“No, I think it was just a childish crush, you know those silly teenage crushes”
“Alright. I’m happy to hear that. Thando deserves a woman who’ll love and respect him as a
man. He never really fell in…can we order?”
“Fell in love? He never fell in love with anyone but you?”
“I don’t want to talk about it. Can we order?”
“Nosipho, it’s okay. I’m sure there’s…okay, he’s a great, funny guy. Any woman would be
happy to have him as a boyfriend”
“Yeah, I know right?”
“Foxy seems – ”
“No, no, no, no! I don’t want to hear that girl’s name, she’s foolish”
“Alright. I think we can order now”

We ordered something to eat, after that we went our separate ways. She told me I must be
ready by 6pm. They’ll come and fetch me.

On my way to the apartment I bumped into Metaphor, it was so awkward.

“Hey”, he greeted me. He didn’t even look at me. Before I could say, “hi”, he was already far. I
quickly made my way to the apartment. When I got there, Vixen was watching tv with Sihle.
“I’m going back home guys”, I told them straight away. They looked at each other.
“Why? What happened?” Asked Sihle.
“My granny is sick, she’s in hospital”, I replied.
“No man, I hope she recovers fast”, said Vixen.
“I hope so too”, I said.
“So when are you planning to go back home?” Asked Sihle.
“Tonight. Nosipho and Thando will pick me up at around 6pm”, I said. The girls were shocked
but they understood. I went to pack my clothes, they helped me pack my clothes. When Puleng
got home, she also helped me pack. Vanessa came home just to give me the money she
promised to borrow me then she left again.
At 6pm, I heard a car pull up outside and I knew that was Nosipho and Thando. Sihle helped
carry my luggage to the car, Thando met us half way, he placed the luggage in the car boot.
“Hey ladies”, he greeted me and Sihle with a smile.
“Hey”, we sang.
“I guess this is goodbye my friend. See you when I see you, don’t forget to call me when you
arrive”, Sihle hugged me.
“Don’t worry, I will”, I said. I got in the car, Nosipho was sitting on the front seat.
“Hey doll”, she said.
“Hey”, I said.
“I heard about your granny, I hope she recovers fast”, said Thando.
“I hope so too”, I said. I texted Asisipho, I told her I was coming home. “Thank you guys for
agreeing to give me a lift”, I reached for my handbag, “I don’t know if this will be enough, this is
for the petrol”, I handed Nosipho R300.
“What are you doing? No, are you silly?” Thando was shocked.
“This is a little thank you”, I said.
“My friend don’t be ridiculous. You don’t have to pay”, said Nosipho, she rejected the money.
“You are far too kind”, she smiled. Thando looked at me on the rear view mirror and he shook
his head with a smirk.
“Thank you again”, I said.
“Stop it, you’re starting to annoy me”, said Thando.
“He’s just joking”, Nosipho laughed.

I knew the road will be long and tiring. Midnight, Nosipho was sleeping, I just woken up.
“You were snoring”, said Thando.
“I was? Really?” I was so embarrassed.
“I’m joking”, he laughed.
“Don’t play with me like that”, I smiled.
“I love your smile”, he complimented.
“Thanks. Stop making me blush”, I giggled like a little girl.
“If that’s how you look when you blush then I want to see you blush more often”
“King Pin…I mean Thando, my cheeks hurt”
“I only said one thing, by the time I’m done you wouldn’t feel your cheeks”
“Really now?”
“Yes. I hear you’re going to work for Martin”
“Yes, Club Diamond or Diamond Lounge”
“It’s going to be an adventure for sure but I just wish you don’t mix with the wrong crowd. You’re
already mixing with a wrong crowd”
“How so?”
“Your friends”
“Vanessa?”
“Rashidi and company. From what Nosipho told me, Vanessa is trouble”
“What else does Nosipho tell you?”
“Everything”
“Why am I not surprised”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing”
“It can’t be nothing”
“Thando, carry on”
“Are you mad at me? Anyway, I’m just warning you”
“Did Nosipho put you up to this?”
“What? No, she didn’t. Did you girls talk about this?”
“Kinda”
“You can do you but you have to be careful. I only care for people I love and like”
“Where do I fit?”
“Uhm…I kinda like you. I don’t know you but I would like to know you”
“Okay”
“What about you?”
“Same”
“Same? You sound like you’re mad at me”
“I’m not, I’m just annoyed”
“I’ve been told I’m quite a nuisance, even this lady sleeping next to me, she tells me at least a
thousand times a day”
“It’s not you, it’s her”
“Oh”
“I trust her as a friend to keep things strictly between us – ”
“Me and Nos have a special bond, you don’t have to worry, your secrets or whatever it is, it’s
safe with me”
“I don’t know”
“You’re hurting me now, do I look like a guy who’d go around letting the whole wide world know
your secrets?”
“I think it’s better if we drop it King Pin…Thando, whatever your name is”
“Wow, you’re really pissed. I’m going to stop at the nearest garage. You need to cool down”
“You won’t understand”
“I get why you’re pissed. I’m also pissed – ”
“Because I said ‘King Pin, Thando whatever your name is’?”
“No, that’s petty. I’m pissed because you don’t trust me”
“I don’t know you”
“How can you know me?”
“What kind of question is that?”
“It’s a good question Yoliswa”
“I think we should drop it”
“Wow. Started from complimenting her now we’re here”
“Is that supposed to be a joke?”
“You’re so pissed, chill”
“Don’t tell me to chill”
“Alright, go on and on”
“You’re the one taking things overboard, Thando”
“Really? Okay”

Nosipho woke up. “What’s going on guys?” She was confused.

“Talk to your friend, she’s fuming up over bullshit and you know me, I can’t tolerate bullshit”,
Thando said to Nosipho.
“It’s over bullshit now? Really Thando?” I was getting agitated.
“Why are you two arguing? What happened?” Asked Nosipho.
“Thank God I see a garage. I need to cool off, you also need to cool off Yoliswa”, said Thando.
“Whatever”, I said.

We finally got to the garage, Thando got out of the car.

“Yoliswa what happened?” Asked Nosipho.
“He was giving me advise about choosing my circle wisely, not mixing with the wrong people
and stuff. I asked if you told him to speak to me about it, he said no. Basically, everything I told
you, he told me. Everything we spoke about, I trusted you to not share the things we talk about,
private things, but you told him. I was pissed at that, well, you but he kept rubbing it in my face
and I ended up being pissed at him”, I said.
“You can still trust me. Thando is my cousin, I trust him with all my heart, I tell him everything.
Maybe I shouldn’t have told him all of that but he’s curious when it comes to you. It’s not like we
sit and discuss other people. He likes you, you know that”, she said.
“Why was he angry? I don’t see why he got angry”, I said.
“Thando is a changed man but sometimes I see small snippets of the man he used to be. I’m
proud of how he handled this situation, if he was that man he was back then, he would’ve
dragged you down. He’s was a very, very brutal guy. Heartless and cold mixed with arrogance”,
she said.
“I think I should sleep”, I said.
“Are you sleeping because you’re sleepy or you’re trying to avoid him?” She asked.
“I’m just sleepy”, I lied.

Thando later came into the car. We took off.

#16: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

I slept the entire night, when I woke up, the sun was shining bright. We stopped next to a public
telephone and Nosipho was making a phone call.

“You’re awake”, said Thando.

“Yeah”, things were still awkward, I didn’t even know what to say to him.
“Nosipho is making an important phone call”, he said.
“Didn’t you guys buy enough airtime?” I asked.
“Our phone batteries are dead”, he said.
I noticed he was talking to me as if nothing happened last night. I wanted to be the bigger
person and apologise.
“Uhm…about – “, as I was about to apologise, Nosipho went to collect coins in the car.
“Finally, you’re awake. Good morning my friend”, greeted Nosipho.
“Good morning my friend”, I greeted.
“Were you going to say something?” Asked Thando.
“I don’t remember”, I lied.
Nosipho went out.
“Oh, I thought you were going to say something”, he said.
“No, I don’t recall”, I said. “So, did I snore? Maybe I was going to ask that”, I said.
Thando laughed and replied, “No”
A few minutes later, Nosipho got into the car and we drove away.

After many hours of driving, we were on our way to East London. I told them they can drop me
in town, I can take a taxi to where I live but they insisted to drop me at home. I couldn’t argue,
I’d lose anyway. I was grateful for having such amazing friends.

We finally arrived, my brother Mbulelo was playing soccer with his friends.
“Mbulelo! Come help me with the luggage”, I said. He ran to help.
“You’re looking all grown up”, I pinched his cheeks playfully.
“No, leave me alone, you’re embarrassing me”, he took my luggage inside.
“Come in guys”, I led the way. When we got inside, the sight of my ex boyfriend almost made
me faint.
“Hello beautiful”, he hugged me. I was so confused, I looked at my cousin who was smiling.
“We’ve missed you”, my cousin gave me a tight hug.
“These are my good friends, Nosipho and Thando. They gave me a lift”, I said.
“Thank you for helping my cousin. Sit down, I’ll get you something to eat”, said Asisipho.
“You don’t have to, please, we need to rush somewhere”, said Nosipho.
“It’s okay Asisipho, they need to leave ASAP”, I said.
Vusani put his arm around me. Thando looked away, I was so annoyed but I didn’t want to
show it.
“We heard about the old lady being hospitalised, we hope she recovers soon. We feel bad for
coming here empty handed”, said Thando.
“You brought my cousin back home safely, that’s all we wished for. Thank you very much”, said
Asisipho.
“Thank you man, drive safely”, Vusani shook Thando’s hand. They shook for a while, I could
see fake smiles and weird eye contact.

Nosipho and Thando finally left. Mbulelo went to his friends, Asisipho’s son, Aphiwe was
sleeping.
“What are you doing here Vusani?” I asked.
“Vusani has been helping us a lot since grandma was hospitalised. He just came here to see
you, he’s been talking about you a lot”, said Asisipho. “Can we talk in private Vusani?” I asked.
“Let me excuse you guys”, Asisipho went out.
“I’ve missed you”, Vusani stroked my hair. I stepped back. “What’s wrong?” He asked.
“You shouldn’t be here, you know that”, I said.
“All those years can’t go to waste”, he said.
“The last time we spoke, you said some hurtful things to me. You cursed me”, I said.
“I’m not proud of that. I want us to try again”
“Vusani, I can’t give you want you want right now”
“Okay, give it some time. Don’t you love me anymore? Don’t tell me you don’t even feel
something for me”
“I do – ”
“Then why are – ”
“Ssssh! It’s different now. I’m not that girl who was head over heels in love with you. Please
understand that. I’m different now”
“Of course you’re different. Tell me, what’s going on between you and that guy?”
“Friendship is going on”
“That’s all?”
“Were you expecting more?”
“No”
“Yeah, that’s it”
“I’ve really missed you. What happened there?”
“A lot but I don’t wanna talk about it now”
“We can hang out tomorrow”
“What about work?”
“What about it?”
“Don’t you have to go to work?”
“No, I’m unemployed currently”
“What?! What happened?”
“A lot happened but I’ll talk about it when we meet up tomorrow”
“Tomorrow afternoon?”
“Sounds good to me”
“Alright”
“Alright then, I guess I should get going”
“Yeah”
“See you when I see you”
“Bye”
“Bye”

Vusani left. Asisipho rushed inside.

“So…what happened?” She asked.
“Nothing”, I smiled.
“Did you guys kiss? Why are you smiling like that?” She asked.
“Nothing happened, no, we didn’t kiss. I knew you were going to ask”, I laughed.
“So what happened there? You know, in Jozi. What happened?” She asked. The smile quickly
disappeared.
“Jozi is a totally different world”, I sat down.

I told Asisipho everything that happened in Johannesburg except the part where a guy almost
raped me.
I was happy to be home because home is where the heart is.

#17: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

In the afternoon, I went to visit my grandmother in hospital. When I entered the hospital, the
scent made my blood boil. A nurse directed me to where my grandmother was lying. The sight
of seeing my grandmother wrapped in tubes, made my heart sunk. I failed her, I wanted to cry. If
only I found my mother, things would be different. I held her hand, it was weak, it had no power.
Her veins were so visible like they were going to pop out of her skin. I took a seat right next to
her.
“Grandmother, it’s me Yoliswa. I’m sure you can hear me. It pains me to see you lying here. I
wish, if it was possible for me to take your position. I came as soon as I heard you’re in hospital.
I wish I came with my mom. Unfortunately, I didn’t find her, well, seeing you like this just gave
me more strength to look for her. Johannesburg was different. I met some amazing and no so
amazing people. I nearly…I nearly got…raped but I heard you praying for me. You saved my
life, how can I repay you? There’s only one thing I know you want, and that’s your daughter, my
mother. I really love you with all my heart, you raised me to be a strong woman. Please, don’t
leave me yet. You can’t leave me, I still want you to see me succeed in life. Remember how you
used to say you want to sit on the front seat of my car? I’m working towards that, I want to see
you sitting there fully healthy. Maybe my mom will be on the back seat, how’s that? I know you’ll
love that, right? Please, don’t leave me. Don’t leave us”, tears rolled down my face. I felt my
granny’s hand squeezing me. I called the nurse, she ran in.
“My granny just squeezed my hand”, I said excitedly.
“Are you sure? It must be a twitch”, she said.
“Nurse, I’m telling you she squeezed my hand. I can differentiate between a squeeze and a
twitch”, I said.
The nurse just looked at me like I’m insane.
“You think I’m crazy, right? I’m not insane! She squeezed my hand”, I was starting to get
agitated.
“If you continue raising your voice at me, you’ll be out of here. I’m your elder, you can’t just talk
to me anyhow. I’ll call in a doctor, okay? Just calm down”, the nurse said.
“I’m sorry”, I apologised.
“It’s okay, sit down and calm down”, she left the room.

I held my granny’s hand again and she kept squeezing and squeezing my hand. She opened
her eyes and started panicking.
“Granny, calm down, it’s me Yoliswa”, I tried calming her down.
 A doctor came in and he started working on my granny. I was told to leave the room. I was at
the waiting room for a long time.

A white girl came to sit next to me. She smiled at me, I faked a smile, I was too nervous.
“Hello”, she offered her hand for a hand shake.
I shook her hand, “Hello”
“I’m Jennifer, I’m waiting for my father”, she said.
“I’m waiting for my granny”, I said.
“Oh okay. What’s your name?” She asked.
“Yoliswa”, I replied. I wasn’t really in the mood.
“I was meant to fly to Johannesburg today but my dad got really sick”, she said.
“You live in Johannesburg?” I asked.
“No, I’m going there for work. It’s my first time that side. I got a good job, everything is sorted out
for me, the accommodation, everything”, she smiled proudly.
“That’s good to hear. I just got back from Johannesburg”, I said.
“Really? You live there?”
“It’s a long story but I worked as a waitress but I’m no longer one. But I have a new job waiting
for me”
“Okay, that’s great”

I was called to see my granny. I said goodbye to Jennifer. When I entered the room, my granny
was sitting up. I was so happy to see her awake and looking healthy.
“Gogo!” I hugged her.
“Easy”, she said, “You’re going to hurt me”, she added.
“I’m sorry gogo, I’m too excited”, I said.
“How’s everyone?” She asked.
“Everyone is good but they were worried about you”, I said.
“How was your journey?”
“Gogo, my journey was good”
“Thank you Jesus. You look worried, I can see the emptiness in your eyes”
“I’m tired, I didn’t sleep much and I was worried about you”
“Besides that, is everything okay?”
“No but everything will be okay. Did you hear what I said earlier?”
“No. The nurse told me you were here”
“I wish I came with good news regarding my mother”
“Don’t tell me she passed away”
“No, I didn’t find her but – ”
“Johannesburg is a big city. Maybe she’s not even in Johannesburg”
“You’re right but the search was only the beginning”
“Yoliswa – ”
“Please gogo, please give me a few weeks or months, I’ll find her”
“You’re still going back?”
“Yes, please let me. I have a job, I can take care of myself”
“Alright but if you don’t find her, come back home”
“I will”
“I support you 100%”
“And I’m grateful for that”

I went to buy my granny some fruit. We spoke for a very long time until visiting hours were over.
I went home, it was really late.
It was dark, as I was approaching my house, I saw a red old Toyota parked outside the yard. I
quickly rushed in, when I opened the door, I heard laughter coming from the dining room. I
rushed to the dining room, I saw Vusani eating. I was so furious, Asisipho smiled at me.

“Hey Yoliswa, your food is in the microwave. Vusani bought dinner”, she said.
“Your favourite”, Vusani smiled.
Before I could reply, my phone rang. It was Thando. I went to my room to answer the phone.

“Thando”
“Hey Yoliswa, how are you?”
“I’m good, not good-good. Okay, I’m coping. How are you and Nosipho doing?”
 “It’s good to hear, I’m fine. Nosipho is fine too, we just finished eating supper, she’s washing
the dishes. How’s your granny?”
“Gogo is recovering, I had a nice long conversation with her”
“Wow, that’s great. I’m so happy for you. So…are you coming back to Jozi?”
“I have to”
“Uhm…are you going to work at Club Diamond?”
“Yes, why?”
“I’m just asking”
“I know you were just asking but why?”
“I said I was just asking”
“Alright. Jobs are really scarce, I’m grateful for the job”
“Of course you are. Tell me, what’s happening at your house? I hear people laughing or it’s just
the tv?”
“Uh – yeah, it’s just the tv”
“Okay. I just called to check up on you”
“Thank you, how thoughtful of you”
“Good night, dream about me”
“Good night Thando, I’ll try and dream about you”
“Bye”
“Bye”

I went to the dining room to take my phone charger.

“Yoliswa, aren’t you going to join us?” Asked Asisipho.
“No, I’m tired, I just want to take my charger and sleep”, I said.
“Aren’t you hungry?” Asked Vusani.
“No”, I took my charger. “Good night guys”, I said and I went to my room. I was really tired and
sleepy. I gave Vanessa a call.

“Yoliswa, my friend. How are you?” She was really excited.

“Hey, I’m good. I miss you very much”, I said.
“You have no idea how much I miss you too. We were just talking about you, how’s your
granny?”
“She’s recovering”
“That’s amazing, that’s really amazing”
“Yeah, I’m happy to see progress”
“Yep. So when are you coming back? I know it’s your first night and all, I don’t mean to sound
like an insensitive cow – ”
“Vanessa, it’s okay. I’ll come back, when the time is right”
“When do you think the time will be right?”
“I don’t know, maybe a week later or something”
“Oh”
“You sound disappointed”
“Absolutely not, it’s great that you’re spending time with your family. I just thought you’d come
back ASAP since you got to start your new job”
“Trust me, the job is the least of my worries right now. But that doesn’t mean I don’t care about
it. Vanessa, I need to be here right now, for some time”
“I understand my friend”
“My ex is a pain in the ass”
“Oh boy, what did he do?”
“You won’t believe it. This afternoon he expressed how much he’s still in love blah blah blah.
So I told him I’m not into him like that, so he asked me out. I accepted because I want to clear
some things with him. Now he’s in my living room having supper with my family, can you believe
that?”
“Woah, what did you do to the poor guy? He can’t keep his distance”
“It’s actually annoying and he asked if I’m dating Thando”
“I hope you said yes”
“No, I said no”
“You gave him the motivation – ”
“Even if I said yes, he would’ve been in my living room having supper with my family”
“Speaking of Thando, when last did you speak to him?”
“A few minutes ago”
“Hmmm. You like him, right?”
“Not like that”
“Stop lying to yourself. I think you two would make a kick ass couple”
“Oh please!”
“I’m serious”
“Oh damn it! I’m out of airtime, one minute remaining”
“I’ll call you tomorrow morning”
“Okay, good night”
“Good night my friend”
“Say hi to the girls for me”
“I will”

Asisipho and Vusani were laughing and raising their voices. I couldn’t even sleep, they were
really annoying. A few minutes later, I heard the door close. I sat up, I didn’t hear any talking. I
figured Vusani left. I went to peep, indeed, he was gone. I was so relieved, I went to the living
room.

“I thought you were sleeping”, said Asisipho.

“It was hard to sleep because you and Vusani couldn’t keep your voices down”, I said.
“I’m sorry, we were just having a great time. Vusani is a good guy, he came all the way here to
spend some time with you. You didn’t even thank him for the food, you just dismissed him. I was
so embarrassed”, Asisipho ranted.
“I’m going to meet Vusani tomorrow and there’s a lot we’ll discuss”, I said.
“I already know what you’re going to say to him. Just rethink everything, can’t you see the guy is
trying? He loves you with all his heart”, said Asisipho.
“Stop cheerleading for this broken relationship. I admit he’s a good guy, I had great and not-so-
great times with that guy. I’ve moved on, I don’t love him anymore”, I said.
“You broke up with him because you were going to Johannesburg, your relationship with him
was perfect, nothing was wrong”
“And you know this because you’re me? You were dating him? Oh, since you’re so in love with
Vusani, why don’t you date him? You two can have supper together every day and laugh at
each other’s dry jokes!”
“Where’s this coming from? You think I like Vusani? No! I’d never date him even if he was the
last guy on earth”
“So you want me to date a guy you’d never date even if he was the last guy on earth?”
“Don’t be stupid, you knew exactly what I meant!”
“I’d like you to stay out my issues. I don’t want to see him here again. I don’t need you to set up
surprise dates or whatever. Please respect my wishes”
“I will”
“Thank you. Let me go to sleep, good night”
“Good night”

I went to my bedroom, I was happy I had the chance to get some things off my chest. I went to
sleep.

#18: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

I woke up in a really good mood. I was looking forward to meeting my friends and I wasn’t
looking forward to meeting Vusani in the afternoon. I was already dressed even. My phone rang,
it was Vanessa.

“Hello my beautiful sweet friend”, I answered.

“Someone’s in a bubbly mood today”, she said.
“I feel so free and happy”, I said.
“And that makes me happy. So will you be feeling like this when you meet your ex?” She asked.
“I’d rather not talk about that one, I’ll deal with him when the time comes”, I said.
“Aha!”
“Really. So how are you doing this beautiful sunny morning?”
“Not much sun in Jozi, more wind. But apart from that I’m good”
“Are you at work?”
“Yep. I need to tell you something, it slipped my mind last night”
“Is it good or bad?”
“I don’t know how you’ll take it”
“Shoot”
“Uhm. Okay. Uh – Rashidi hired Vixen, two girls left and there was a shortage”
“I still got my job?”
“I don’t see why he won’t hire you”
“Is Vixen replacing me?”
“I don’t know. Rashidi would never do you like that or me”
“You don’t know Rashidi. So he’s looking out for his boy?”
“Huh?”
“Vixen is Hakeem’s girlfriend, where does that leave me?”
“I’ll talk to him, chill. I told him why you’re home, he understood”
“Is he hiring?”
“He didn’t mention that to me”
“Did he mention hiring Vixen?”
“No but Yoliswa please chill”
“How do you expect me to chill? I left my waitress job for the club. I can’t be fired before I even
started”
“Okay, you’re being delusional now. Who spoke about getting fired? Don’t jump to unnecessary
conclusions. I got you”
“Can you send me Rashidi’s number?”
“I will. Look, everything is going to be fine. Continue being bubbly, don’t let this phone call ruin
your mood. Okay?”
“Okay. Things are going to be fine, right?”
“Yes. Sihle has been complaining, she says you never called her ever since you left. She’s
been whining like a baby”
“Sihle is the least of my worries now”
“You don’t have to worry about anything. I got you, trust me”
“I trust you”
“Good. Okay, Vixen just arrived. Awkward. I have to go, bye”
“Bye”

I had no problem with Vixen working in the club but I was scared she might be my replacement.
I got ready to go meet my friends, Aphelele, Tina and Ovayo. It’s been a while since I saw them,
I was really excited. We were meeting at a park.
They were seating under a tree, when they saw me they all ran to me to give me a hug.

“We’ve missed you my friend”, said Ovayo, she had tears rolling down her face.
“Come on, don’t cry. I’ve missed you girls too”, I said.
“So how was Jozi?” Asked Aphelele.
“Where can I start? Jozi is Jozi. But what you see on tv is a bit exaggerated. I met awesome
people and I loved every bit of it. The nightclub life is insane! We partied hard”, I narrated.
“Sounds like where I’d fit in well”, said Aphelele.
“It’s insane”, I smiled.
“Tell us more. Your friends, your experiences, everything”, said Tina.

I knew my curious friends wouldn’t let this one slide easily.

“I lived with Vanessa, Sihle, Puleng and Vixen. They’re amazing, we do everything together and
we support each other on everything. There’s also Nosipho, she’s amazing. I rode on his
cousin’s car, they’re both amazing people”, I said.
“Don’t you have spicy news? We don’t want to hear how amazing these people are”, said
Ovayo.
“Well, I don’t have anything bad to say about them”, I said.
“There’s some things you’re not telling us but it’s okay. I want to go to Jozi for work”, said
Aphelele.
“She’s been saying this”, said Tina.
“Are you sure?” I asked.
“Yes but I’m raising money to go there”, said Aphelele.

I wasn’t sure about her going to Johannesburg. I didn’t want people I know there, it would be
really awkward.
I had fun with my girls, we talked and laughed our asses off. In the afternoon, I went to meet up
with Vusani. He has already waiting for me in the restaurant.

“Hey”, he got up to hug me.

“Hey”, I sat down.
“I’m sorry about yesterday”, he apologised.
“It’s fine”, I said.
“Really, I shouldn’t have been there”, he said.
“It’s fine”, I kept assuring him.
“Cool”, there was awkward silence.
“When I was in Jozi, I heard that you were transferred to Jozi. It was hard to believe”
“No, just rumours”
“Knew it – ”
“I’d be lying if I said I’m over you, Yoliswa. I still love you and I’m still confused why you broke
up with me. I never did anything wrong. I would’ve supported you 100% on your decision to go
to Johannesburg, you shouldn’t have broken up with me”
“Vusani, I don’t know how I can explain this but I don’t have feelings for you no more. I broke up
with you because I couldn’t feel that spark”
“Why didn’t you let me know? I now feel stupid”
“I’m sorry for not letting you know then”
“To think I quit my job because… It’s not on”
“Continue. You quit your job because of what?”
“Let’s just drop it”
“No Vusani, tell me”
“It doesn’t matter anyway”
“Vusani, tell me!”
“Because of… Ugh!”
“Please”
“You want to know why?”
“Yes, tell me”
“Because of you”
“Me?”
“Yes! You! After you left I was depressed. I wanted to give up on life. Have you ever loved
someone that much? I don’t think so. Do you even know what love is?”
“I’m sorry to hear that. I do know what love is”
“What is love?”
“Love is unexplainable”
“Bullshit! You don’t know what it is”
“I’m sorry, Vusani”
“No girl has ever hurt me like you did”
“I don’t know what you want me to do. I know saying sorry won’t reverse what happened. Can
we not talk about this?”
“And talk about what?”
“Anything but this”
“You’re guilty”
“Arrest me. Don’t do this to me”
“Do what exactly Yoliswa?”
“My grandmother is fighting for her life in hospital, I’m already stressed, don’t do this to me”
“How dare you use your grandmother to worm out of this? You played with my feelings. I feel
played. After all I did for you and your family?”
“You’re not superman or this hero you’re trying to paint here Vusani. Shit happens, deal with it”
“Deal with it? That’s what you’re saying to me? You have no remorse at all”
“It’s not like that Vusani. Look, I woke up on the right side of the bed. I won’t let your emotional
blackmail or whatever it is, try and rob me off my happiness. I’m sorry, I don’t know what you
want me to do. I can pay you back every cent you used on me and my family”
“I don’t need your money”
“Okay then”
“If you were in my shoes how would you react if you heard the things coming out your mouth?”
“I would get over it”
“There you go again!”
“What? It’s over! It happened, get over it. I’ve never seen a guy take a break up the way you’re
doing. It’s ridiculous! Get over yourself. You want me to be mean now?”
“You know what Yoliswa? Fuck you. I don’t want anything to do with you. I wish I can tell those
friends of yours who transported you here how horrible you are. I’m sure you’re using them too.
You’re beautiful on the outside but you’re a snake on the inside”
“This is childish. I’m leaving. Have a nice life Vusani. I don’t know who you are anymore”
“I got bitten by you bitch. These are the after effects you venomous bitch”
“I was going to say you and Asisipho deserve each other but my cousin doesn’t deserve you.
Stay away from my house. I swear Vusani, if I see your petty ass there again, I’m calling the
police”
“I want nothing to do with your family. I’m not even touching Asisipho, I’m sure the venom runs
in the family”
“You’re stupid”
 “Makes sense why your mother left. She doesn’t want to associate herself with such an evil
family like yours”
“Don’t talk about my mother, you don’t know her!”
“You don’t know her either! Give up. You’ll never find her. She probably has a new family. She
forgot about you and your family. If she really loved you, she wouldn’t have left”
“God bless your soul Vusani”

I left the restaurant angry. A man never disrespected me the way Vusani did. I wanted nothing
to do with him. I rushed home where I told Asisipho everything, she wanted to knock out his
teeth. I told her he’s not worth it.
Men like Vusani are the reason women think men are dogs.

#19: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

I decided to call Nosipho, my mood was ruined by that stupid guy by the name of Vusani. My
first call didn’t go through, I called her again and she answered.

“Hi Yoliswa”, said Nosipho. I could hear people talking in the background.
“Hey girl, how are you?” I asked.
“I’m good and you?”
“I’m not good”
“What happened?”
“It’s my ex, he’s such an ass”
“What did he do?”
“We met this afternoon. I wanted to clarify things with him. It turned into this horrible altercation”
“Damn, are you okay though?”
“Yes, I don’t want anything to do with him”
“Good for you”
“This day was supposed to be great. I woke up in a good mood but it seems like it’s getting
worse and worse”
“I’m sorry”
“Now I’m just crossing my fingers for my new job”
“What happened?”
 “My roommate, she’s Hakeem’s girlfriend, she got hired. I’m scared she might be my
replacement but Vanessa says I shouldn’t worry”
“Leaving the restaurant was a bad idea”
“You’re not helping out. I’m telling you I might lose my job”
“I share your pain but don’t you think it’s for the best?”
“Are you kidding me? That waitress job paid me peanuts”
“Yoliswa, I’ve warned you before, don’t hang with the wrong crowd”
“It’s just work, plus they’re really nice people”
“They’re crooks”
“Okay, Nosipho I don’t care. I’m tired of hearing you bash them every chance you get. I get it,
you still hate them for what they did to you but I’m not you. I don’t hate them”
“Go ahead. Be good friends with them, you will see for yourself”
“They’re not even my friends, we have mutual friends”
“Whatever Yoliswa. But I’ll tell you ‘I told you so’ when they screw you over”
“Can we talk about something else?”
“Okay. How’s your family? Your grandmother?”
“Good. They’re good. How’s Thando?”
“He’s also good. Do you want to talk to him?”
“I don’t know”
“He wants to talk to you”
“Oh. Okay”

Thando got on the phone.

“Yoli girl, you good?” He asked.
“Hey Thando, yes I’m good”, I said.
“Just wanted to say hi. How are things at home?”
“Good. Everything’s fine”
“You don’t sound fine”
“I’m just irritated”
“Who irritated you?”
“Nosipho and my ex but I don’t want to talk about it”
“Nosipho? I’ll deal with her, don’t worry”
“Please deal with her for me”
“What did she say?”
“Can we not talk about it?”
“I’ll ask her anyway. Okay, let me get going. Do enjoy your day, beautiful”
“Thanks. You too. Say hi to the fam”
“Will do. Bye”
“Bye”

I was bored the whole day. Ovayo invited me to her friend’s 21st birthday party. I wasn’t going to
decline. I picked an outfit for the night, I was happy I wasn’t going to spend the whole day at
home.
Hours later, Ovayo came to fetch me. A Quantum minibus was waiting for us outside. The music
was blasting, I told my cousin, Asisipho that I’m going to a party and I’ll come home late.
Aphelele and Tina were in the Quantum minibus plus a group of unknowns. The time was
around 5pm. There was alcohol but I made a decision to not drink because I wanted to be sober
when I landed. My friends were taking shots except for Tina.
We got to the venue, it was packed outside. The 21st birthday was held in a community hall.
The birthday girl ran towards us, she gave Ovayo a hug.
“This is Lizzy”, Ovayo introduced her to us. She seemed really sweet, she hugged us.
“Welcome guys”, she smiled. She led us to a VIP-esque area.
“You are the friend that went to Johannesburg?” She asked.
“Yep, that’s me”, I said.
“Are you back permanently?” She asked.
“No, I’ll go back sooner hopefully”, I said.
“I’m going to Johannesburg soon”, she said.
“Wow. Nice”, I smiled.
“There are so many people yet it’s so chilled”, said Ovayo.
“My mom invited the whole congregation. My big brother is playing Mr Bouncer at the door. I
don’t know when everything will officially start. I can’t wait to go party”, said Lizzy.
“They’re hosting Lizzy at Club Venus tonight”, said Ovayo. It was really cool. I thought only
celebrities and wealthy people were hosted in clubs.
After a few minutes, everything kicked off. It was like church in the beginning, understandable
because there were church people there. She got lots of gifts and money. People were saying
nice things about her, it was like a wedding almost. The hall was packed, I figured her parents
were well respected people in the community.
We left for Club Venus at 8pm. There were still people in the hall. Lizzy had an outfit change.
Her father bought her the latest BMW. We rode on her new car. I wondered where Ovayo met
Lizzy, she was intriguing.
We jumped the queue, of course we won’t stand in the queue when we’re rolling with Lizzy. We
went straight to the VIP section. I wasn’t new to the VIP section, I bragged to them how I’m
always in the VIP section back in Johannesburg.

“When I hit Jozi, I want you to show me around. I want to go to every hot club”, said Lizzy.
“I will do that. I have friends who know club owners”, I was tipsy.
“Good! I’ll take you up on your offer”, she said.
“We can pinky promise right now”, I said.

We even pinky promised, it was a sealed deal. I wanted to get rid of all the weight on my
shoulders, I wanted to get wasted.
We were dancing like there’s no tomorrow. I felt someone tap my shoulder, when I turned, I saw
my high school ex boyfriend, Sanele.

“Yoliswa you’re looking good”, he complimented.

“Thank you, you look good too”, I said.
“Can I give you a hug? It’s been years”, he said.
“Of course”, I said. I gave him a hug.
“I can’t get over how beautiful you look. You’re so hot, I’m speechless”, he said.
“Thank you”, I said.
“Can I have your number? I want to talk to you, just catch up”
“Just catch up?”
“Yeah, is it wrong?”
“It’s not wrong but right now I’m so tipsy, I can’t think straight”
“I just need your number, it’s not like I’m asking for sex”
Tina dragged me.

“Yoliswa, don’t talk to him. He’s sneaky and you’re drunk”, she said.
“It’s all good, he just wanted my number”, I said.
“Don’t give him”, she said then walked away.

I went to dance with my friends, Sanele walked away. I was having a nice time!

#20: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

We left the club at 2am. I saw Sanele again.

“You’re really not going to give me your number?” He asked.

“If that’s the only way to get you off my back, I will”, I said. I gave him my number.
“I’ll call you”, he said.
“Alright”, I said.
“Take care”, he left.

Lizzy was so drunk, she was vomiting on the side of the road. The club manager called a cab
for us, Lizzy’s boyfriend drove her home in her car.
Me and my friends were singing in the cab like crazy people. The cab driver dropped us at my
house. We knocked, we were so loud, we were laughing and doing all sorts of crazy stuff.
Asisipho opened the door, she looked pissed.

“Do you know what time it is?” She asked.

We just laughed. We got in, my friends made themselves comfortable on the couches, their
sleeping area.
“I was worried sick Yoliswa! I tried calling you but it kept going through voicemail. What is wrong
with you? Do you know how worried I was?” Asisipho was really furious.
“I don’t want to talk about this tonight, I want to sleep. Let’s talk about it tomorrow”, I went to my
bedroom. My feet hurt from dancing. I went to sleep.
In the morning I had a hangover, my head hurt like crazy. I had a glass of cold water, my
friends were already gone. Asisipho was preparing something for her child.
“What you did this a.m was out of line”, she said.
“I’m sorry”, I said.
“You have to be. Why do you have a phone when you don’t even answer it? I was worried sick
about you”, she said. “I’m really sorry, Asisipho”, I said.
“You better not do it again”
“It’s been a while since I had fun and I apologise for stressing you. My battery died”
“Yoliswa, it’s good for you to go out and have fun but you have to control yourself. You couldn’t
even stand. Someone would’ve taken advantage of you, is this what happens in
Johannesburg?”
“No!”
“I hope so”
“Yes, I’m telling the truth”
“I wouldn’t know. You know, if you’re lying then you’re lying to yourself”
“I’m not”
“We’re visiting gogo this afternoon”
“Okay”
“You’re going?”
“Of course”
“Okay, let me go feed this child”
“Asisipho – ”
“Yes?”
“Thank you for being the big sis I never had”
“Aaaw! Sweet. Although I want to strangle you sometimes, I love you very much. Thank you for
being you”
“Cool”
“Let me go feed Aphiwe”

I received a phone call from Vanessa.

“Hello Vee”, I said.

“Don’t hello Vee me, why didn’t you pick up your phone last night?” She was angry.
“First Asisipho, now you. I was partying the night away. I went to a friend’s 21st birthday party.
My battery died and – ”
“I don’t care about a stupid 21st you went to. The police were here last night, Yoliswa. They
were questioning people about Jabu’s disappearance!”
“What? Oh my gosh! Did they question you?”
“Yes! I’m on my way to the police station for further questioning”
“Why?”
“His friends might have told them about me and you”
“No! So are you going to confess?”
“Are you mad? It’s not like I killed him or anything. And I’m not stupid enough to tell them I
witnessed his death”
“What are you going to say?”
“I only knew him from the club. He was interested in you, we once partied together. That’s it!”
“Why do you have to include me?”
“His friends probably told the police. If they want to interview you, tell them that he was
interested in you and you rejected him”
“Huh?”
“After you rejected him, he was bitter and mean. You don’t have to mention that night”
“I’m so shocked and confused. I don’t want to go to jail”
“Why would you go to jail? Chill. You need to really chill”
“I’m sweating”
“You’re horrible I swear. Are you even hearing what I’m saying? Chill damn it! You don’t need
to give off suspicious vibes”
“This means I have to go down?”
“You don’t need to jump the gun. The police will call you, that’s when you need to come down”
“What if they ask if you called me?”
“Just say I didn’t. I’ll delete you from my call log just in case”
“What? This is some CSI shit. I watch that show all the time and people get caught”
“You should also delete my number from your call log. Be chilled about it, you don’t need to
panic”
“What happened to the body?”
“I don’t know”
“I thought you said Raymond got rid of it!”
“That’s what he told me”
“You believe him?”
“I can’t discuss any further. I have to get going. Yoliswa, promise me you’ll be chilled? I’ll call
Raymond now. Bye”
“Bye”

I’ve never been so scared in my life. I was shaking, Asisipho came to fetch something in the
kitchen, she saw I was shaken.
“Are you alright?” She asked.
“Yeah, yes – let me go take a bath”, I said.
I went to lock myself in the bathroom. I ran the water, I watched the water fill the bathtub. I got
in the bathtub and closed my eyes. I relived the day Jabu got killed.

I heard the back door shutting, I turned and it was Jabu.

“What are you doing here? You’re so obsessed with me”, I said.
“Bitch you’ve gotten away with a lot of shit. I don’t let a bitch walk all over me”, he said.
“Get lost you asshole”, I said. He grabbed me by my hair, pushed me and I fell. He grabbed me
up, knocked me against the wall, he called me all types of names. He smacked me, chocked me
and told me I was going to die a painful death. I cried, he overpowered me. I just heard two
shots, he looked me in the eyes. His eyes were rolling back, I could feel his weight all over me.
He fell to the ground, my dress had blood stains. Raymond came over to me, he was carrying a
gun.
I opened my eyes and I was drowning. I quickly sat up, I was gasping for air.

#21: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

I didn’t feel like I was in control of my own body. I wanted someone to save me. It hurt me that I
couldn’t speak to anyone else about Jabu’s death. I got out of the bathroom, I wanted to give
Nosipho a call and pour my heart out but something told me not to.
I got dressed, my phone rang, it was Vanessa.
“Everything’s done. The interview wasn’t complicated at all. They asked me about you”, she
said.
“What did they ask? What did you say?” I asked.
“Don’t worry, they asked how your relationship with Jabu was. I told them there wasn’t much of
a relationship and that he was interested in you but you weren’t interested in him”, she said.
“Oh, okay”, I was relieved.
“You don’t have to worry about anything, be cool about it”
“How can I be cool when it replayed in my head when I was taking a bath? I remembered
everything that happened that night”
“Don’t worry yourself”
“Raymond left us in this mess”
“Don’t even talk about him. He said he got rid of the body and – ”
“Did he? Did he really? How come he never mentioned what really happened? Like where the
body is?”
“You won’t drop this? Can you please drop this?”
“I don’t like not knowing things. Don’t you think we would be at ease if we knew what he did to
the body?”
“You mean you would be at ease? I really don’t care”
“Of course you don’t care, you were busy fucking him to even care”
“What?”
“I’m sorry Vanessa. This is stressing me. We’re visiting grandma in the afternoon and I’m not in
the right mind frame”
“Cancel”
“I can’t. Maybe it’s the last time I get to see her before going to Jozi. I don’t know when the
police will call me. Did they say they’ll call me today?”
“I don’t know. You worry too much, please don’t. Look, I got you. We will pass this together.
We’ll have lunch someday and laugh about this”
“Hopefully”
“Come back to Jozi soon so I can work on your confidence”
“Don’t play like that”
“Really my friend. I have to go now, chat later”
“Okay, bye”
“Bye”

After that phone call, I felt a bit better. Vanessa is truly a good friend. I got a phone call from a
number I didn’t know, I was hesitant to answer it because I thought it was the police.
“Hello”, I answered nervously.
“Yoliswa? This is Lizzy”, she said.
“Oh, yeah – hi Lizzy”
“I got your number from Ovayo. I have a picnic this afternoon, I was wondering if you wanted to
come”
“I’m sorry, this afternoon I’m visiting my grandmother in hospital”
“Uhm…and after?”
“I don’t know. I’d love to come but I really don’t know”
“Save my number and call me when you decide to come”
“I will”
“Cheers”
“Bye”

I didn’t know about going to the picnic because I wasn’t in a mood to mingle.
In the afternoon we went to visit grandma, we bought her fruit. I never liked the hospital scent. It
was busy, the nurses were moving up and down. We went to sit in the waiting room while
Asisipho went to speak to the nurse. Asisipho’s son, Aphiwe was sitting on my lap. My younger
brother, Mbulelo was busy on his phone.
“Do you think we’ll ever find mom?” Asked Mbulelo. This was the first time he mentioned mom
ever since I returned. I don’t remember him showing any interest for a long time, he’s difficult to
read because he doesn’t say much. I didn’t know how to answer him, thankfully Asisipho came
and told us to follow her to where grandma sleeping. I didn’t answer him.
On the way to see grandma, the question Mbulelo asked was echoing in my head. We finally
got to where grandma was, she was sitting up, that was good. I wanted to give her a tight hug
but with all those tubes, I couldn’t.
“My children”, she smiled.
“We miss you gogo”, I said teary eyed.
“When are they discharging you?” Asked Asisipho.
“I feel better but you know these doctors. The food here is terrible, it’s like I’m eating cardboard”,
she exaggerated. We laughed.
“Here granny, we bought you fruit. We know how you love fruit”, Asisipho placed the fruit basket
next to her.
She told us crazy patients’ stories, they were so funny. She looked healthy. I got a phone call, I
excused myself.

“Hello”, I answered.
“Am I speaking to Yoliswa?” This gentleman asked.
“Yes, who am I speaking to?” I asked.
“I’m the detective in charge of the Jabu case. I hear you were Jabu’s love interest. I want to ask
you a few questions”
“You can ask me on the phone, sir”
“I prefer face-to-face. Where are you?”
“Not in Jozi, I’m in East London”
“When are you coming to Johannesburg?”
“Soon”
“And when exactly is soon?”
“Maybe in two or three days time”
“I’ll keep in contact”
“Okay – Sir, what will happen if I don’t show up?”
“Why would be the reason not to if you don’t have something to hide?”
“I don’t have something to hide, I was just asking”
“Okay then, let me hang up – enjoy your day”
“You too. Bye”

I was so nervous. I went to join my family, they were laughing out loud. I was so sour, I was
ruining the happy vibes.

“Why the long face?” Asked gogo.

“I’m returning to Johannesburg tomorrow”, I said.
“What?” Asisipho was shocked.
“What seems to be the problem my child?” Asked gogo.
“I need to sort out some things and I also have to start work ASAP before they replace me”, I
said.
“You left too soon. We haven’t had time to ourselves”, nagged Asisipho.
“It’s okay Asisipho, it’s not like it’s the last time we’re seeing Yoliswa. Go sort out whatever you
need to sort out and start work my child”, said gogo. I was glad she showed support and she
didn’t mention my mom – right now, she’s the least of my worries.
We stayed with gogo for a couple of hours until we left. On our way home, Asisipho didn’t talk
much. She seemed so focused and in her own world, I didn’t want to disturb her. I knew it was
because I was leaving tomorrow. When we got home, Asisipho still didn’t say anything.

“Are we going to act like we’re in our own world now?” I asked. Asisipho just looked at me and
shook her head.
“What’s wrong? Is it because I’m leaving tomorrow?” I asked.
“When were you planning to tell me?” She asked.
“I also didn’t know I was leaving tomorrow, I got an important phone call”, I said.
“I was really happy to have you back. I was even planning what we’ll get up to the next week. I
was so excited”, she said.
“We’ll spend quality time when I’m back”
“Yoliswa, you don’t understand”
“I do. I get that you’re mad but please understand that I have a life and there are things that I
need to take care of in my life”
“Wow! And I don’t have a life?”
“I didn’t say you don’t have a life – ”
“Sounded like you did. Look here Yoliswa, you don’t have any idea how it feels to be a mother
not only to my son but to your brother and look after gogo – ”
“Where is this coming from? I appreciate what you do. I might not get to experience what you
do around here but I do understand how hard it is for you”
“I’m scared, Yoliswa. I’m scared that I’ll be caught up in the role of perfecting motherhood and
not get to experience life in general”
“We all get scared, Asisipho. You’re doing a great job. I love and appreciate you”
“I just love you”
“I could never do what you do”
We hugged, we were so emotional.

Few minutes later, I got a phone call from Vanessa. I went to my bedroom.
“Hey Vee”, I said.
“I can’t wait to have you back, these bitches are boring the shit out of me. Vixen’s stories about
her childhood are like bedtime stories. I really miss you”
“I miss you too my friend. I’ll be back soon, I’m leaving town tomorrow”
“What?! Really?”
“Yes!”
“I just want to scream. Wait, your granny is fine?”
“She looks healthy”
“That’s great. Wow! I can’t wait to tell the girls”
“I miss the girls. Please say hi to them for me”
“I will”
“So what’s happening in Jozi besides the case?”
“Well, drama and a lot of drama”
“What happened?”
“Nosipho’s puppet, Mbali and Rashidi got into a heated argument at the club and Hakeem tried
breaking them apart and Rashidi punched him. A big fight broke out, now Rashidi is jobless.
Martin is yet to appoint a new manager”
“That’s hectic. Is Hakeem okay?”
“Yes, he beat the shit out of Rashidi. I was mad at Rashidi the past few days, it was a good
sight seeing his ass beat up like that”
“You’re something else I swear”
“Wait, you asked if Hakeem was okay? You really care”
“He’s my friend”
“Nosipho’s puppet isn’t your friend?”
“Don’t call her that. I asked because you said they got into a big fight”
“No, you asked because you care”
“I do, he’s my friend. Mbali is Nosipho’s friend – ”
“Nosipho is your friend – ”
“That’s not the point. Okay, how’s Mbali?”
“See? She’s fine”
“Happy?”
“My friend, Vixen is marking her territory. Hakeem came to the club the other day wearing
matching colours with Vixen”
“That’s cheesy”
“Very cheesy! How’s King Pin?”
“Last time I checked, he’s alright”
“I can’t wait for you to return. Martin is hosting a dinner at his place in a couple of days. I don’t
even have a date”
“I’m sure you’ll find someone”
“Yeah. I know you’re coming with King Pin”
“I don’t know”
“Don’t know if you’re coming with King Pin or if you’re attending?”
“Both”
“BOOOOO! You suck. Why are you like this?”
“Maybe when this Jabu case pass, everything will go back to normal”
“You’ll still on that tip? Come on my friend. You’ll end up depressing yourself”
“It’s not as easy as you make it seem”
“You worry yourself too much”
“You’re right”
“I’m always right”
“Don’t feel yourself too much”
“Allow me. I had a great chat with you. I have to attend a few clients my friend. I can’t wait to
have you back”
“I can’t wait too”
“Goodbye my friend”
“Bye Vee”

I needed that phone call from Vanessa, after it I felt like a different person. I was more confident
than before. I gave Lizzy a phone call regarding the picnic. She told me where it was and I got
ready. I was in the mood to loosen up and also spend time with my friends before heading to the
city of gold.
#22: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

I took a taxi to where the picnic was. When I got there, only Lizzy and Ovayo were there.

“Where’s everyone?” I asked.

“They must have terrible hangovers wherever they are. Hello dear”, Lizzy got up and hugged
me. “You weren’t sure you were coming but I’m glad you did”, she said.
“Can we eat already? I’m hungry”, Ovayo opened the tupperware.
“It was nice coming down to East London although what brought me here wasn’t that nice. Also
meeting you, Lizzy”, I said.
“Likewise. We’ll meet again in Johannesburg don’t worry”, she said.
“When are you leaving?” Asked Ovayo.
“I want to leave tomorrow”, I said.
“You don’t seem sure”, said Lizzy. I was nervous going back to Johannesburg because of
Jabu’s case, I didn’t want to go because of that.

After a few minutes, Aphelele and Tina arrived wearing sunglasses.

“I’m not taking my sunglasses off”, Aphelele poured juice immediately. We all looked at each
other and laughed.
“Hello girls”, Tina greeted.
“Hello”, we all sang. I really needed to be in my friends’ company. We chatted and laughed. I
made the decision that moment that I’m leaving the next day, I told them. They were happy to
had me back for a few days but they were sad I had to leave. My friends from back home are
different from my friends in Johannesburg. I don’t have to try hard for my friends in East London,
I get to be myself fully.

I got home at 8pm, Aphiwe was crying uncontrollably. The table was messy, everything from
medicine to food was on the table.
“He’s been crying for hours, I don’t know what’s wrong with him. His forehead isn’t hot, he’s
okay but he’s just crying”, Asisipho was teary eyed. I could see she was defeated and had no
fight left in her. I took Aphiwe from her and started rocking him as I walked around in circles.
“Maybe he’s affected by gogo’s health or there’s bad energies in the house”, she said. It
seemed like a bad time to tell her I’m leaving tomorrow but I had to.
“Asisipho, I – “, my phone rang. “I have to take this”, I gave her Aphiwe and went outside.
“Hello”, it was a private number. This person didn’t say anything. “Who is this?” I asked. I just
heard heavy breathing. “This isn’t funny, who are you? I don’t have time for stupid pranks”, I
dropped the call. I went inside angrily.

Aphiwe was still crying. “It’s better I just go to the hospital”, said Asisipho.
“Let me call someone and ask what the problem might be”, I dialled Nosipho’s number. The
phone rang for a long time before she picked up.
“Hello Yoli”, she said energetically.
“Hey. We have a problem here at home. I came home to my cousin’s 3 year old crying
uncontrollably. She says he’s been crying for hours and his forehead isn’t even hot. Do you
know what the problem might be? She wants to take him to the hospital. She thinks maybe the
kid is affected by gogo’s health or there’s negative energies at home. I don’t know, Nosipho”
“That’s bad. It might be bad energies but she can go to the hospital. If she says everything
seems okay, I’m afraid the nurses will give him panado or a shot”
“Okay, thank you”
“I hope the kid gets well soon”
“Me too. Alright, bye”
“Good night”

“Take him to the hospital”, I told Asisipho.

“I’ll call Vusani, he can take us to the hospital”, she reached for her phone. Okay, she has
Vusani’s phone number now? I didn’t want to say anything because the situation was tense. My
little brother entered the house.
“What’s going on?” He asked.
“We don’t know what’s going on but we’re taking him to the hospital”, I said.
“Did he hurt himself or what?” He asked again.
“Mbulelo, we don’t know”, I was getting annoyed.
“You’ll have to look after the house. Vusani will take us to the hospital”, said Asisipho.

Vusani got there as soon as he could. He drove us to the hospital, he was speeding the car.
When we got to the hospital, Asisipho was immediately given attention by the nurses. They
were directed to a ward. I was with Vusani in the waiting room. Vusani was pacing up and down.
“Sit down, you’re making me dizzy”, I said. He didn’t listen to me. “Sit down, Vusani”, I said
firmly.
“Shut up!” He snapped at me. I was surprised and we didn’t say a word to one another. A nurse
came to us, he ran to the nurse. I looked at him, why is he acting like he’s the baby daddy?
“The kid is alright. He’s sleeping right now”, the nurse said.
“What was wrong?” Me and Vusani asked at the same time.
“We didn’t find anything wrong but we took some tests and we believe the results will be back
by the end of this week. We gave the kid medicine and injection”, the nurse said.

The nurse walked away. Asisipho walked to us, Vusani hugged her. “You’ll be okay”, he
mumbled. I watched them hug for a very long time.
“Is he coming home with us?” I asked.
“Yeah”, Asisipho nodded. Asisipho hugged and kissed me on the cheek. She went to fetch
Aphiwe, he was sleeping. Vusani offered to carry him, I carried his medicine.
Vusani dropped us at home, Asisipho stayed in the car because Vusani had something
‘important’ to discuss with her. I kept looking through the window, I put Aphiwe on the bed
gently. Mbulelo went to bed immediately after we came home. Asisipho got into the house.

“That was long”, I said.

“Tell me about it”, she threw herself on the couch. “Now I have a headache. Don’t have a baby
anytime soon”, she said. I smiled.
“I wanted to tell you something earlier”, I said.
“Yes?”
“Asisipho, I’m leaving for Johannesburg tomorrow”
“Okay”
“I really hope Aphiwe doesn’t give you any problems”
“Me too. I’ll let you know when I get the test results”
“I’d appreciate it”

The next day I took an early taxi to Johannesburg. I left some money behind for my family. I
took at my notepad in the taxi and started writing:
For once my cousin who I thought was the strongest of us all, was weakened. If the strong can
be that weak and vulnerable, what does it leave us weak people? When I watched her break, I
had no choice but to be strong for her. Because all the times I have been weak, she has been
strong for me and to have the roles reversed was something I have been waiting for. Not that I
have been waiting for her to be on her weakest, I have been waiting to give back what I thought
I would never give her which is emotional support. She’s such a strong young lady, I guess no
matter how strong you are, there will be moments of weakness and those moments will make
you stronger. I can’t wait to be in Johannesburg, hopefully I will channel my strong for the road
that’s ahead.

#23: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

At last, I arrived in Johannesburg the next day at 11am. I spread my arms and inhaled the Jozi
air, I could taste the hustle. I saw someone who looks like Metaphor crossing the road, I just
looked away. I took a cab to the apartment, on my way there I called Vanessa who was already
at work. She said I should meet her at the club so we can have lunch at this new restaurant co-
owned by her Italian friend, Frankie. The cab had to change direction, the driver was nice.

Minutes later, I arrived at Diamond Lounge. Vanessa ran and gave me a big hug, Vixen smiled
at me, I smiled back. “Welcome back”, she said from across the room. Vanessa grabbed my
hand and led me to the parking lot, she was so excited. She dangled keys in front of me.
“Look what Santa got me”, she said excitedly.
“Wow. Where did you get it from?” I asked, I was surprised.
“It’s not new. I got it from Frankie”, she smiled.
“Does Frankie give away Range Rovers to his friends? If yes, I want to be his friend!” I joked.
“Get in my friend. Make yourself comfortable”, she said. She dropped her keys, when she
picked them up I noticed a new tattoo on her lower back. It looked like a wing, the tattoo looked
huge.
“Wait, what’s that on your back?” I asked.
“What do you mean what’s this on my back? It’s a tattoo, silly”, she got into the car.
“It looks huge”, I was surprised.
“Either you go big or go home. Look at it”, she showed me. It was an eagle, it looked really nice.
“Nice”, I gushed. It wasn’t something I’d do but it was Vanessa so it was understandable.
“I was planning to surprise you. Did my surprise work?” She asked.
“Of course. Wow! It’s like I was gone for a year. Do you have a husband and kids?” I laughed.
“I though you’d never ask”, she giggled.
It was so good to be back. Well, at least to see her. She drove me to Frankie’s restaurant, it was
called Dine With Me. She parked the car.
“What a name”, I sighed.
“I can’t wait for someone to ask where someone’s going and I reply, ‘to dine with me’ I can’t
wait”, said Vanessa.
“And I hope I’m there to go, ‘I see what you did there'”, we laughed.

The restaurant was packed for a new restaurant. The food was really delicious. Vanessa drove
me to the apartment and she drove away. Sihle was home, she was watching tv.

“I’m back”, I went to put my bags in my bedroom.

“Welcome back. Was that Vanessa?”, she asked.
“Yeah, she took me to this new restaurant. Wow! We should go there, no more Jump Cafe for
us”, I said.
“How’s everyone at home?”
“My granny is okay now. My cousin’s kid was crying the night before I left. He was
uncontrollable, we sent him to the hospital. It was awful”
“Shame man. Is he okay?”
“Yeah but we’re waiting for test results. What’s been happening here?”
“Rashidi and Hakeem got into this huge fight at the club and Rashidi got fired. Hakeem was just
stopping Rashidi and Mbali, they were arguing. Close to blows”
“I heard. Is Rashidi okay upstairs?”
“I think he has anger issues. The club was upside down. I don’t think he’s getting his job
anytime soon”
“How’s Hakeem?”
“He’s okay now, he had a blue eye”
“Poor Hakey”
“Hakey?”
“Hakeem”
“That was cute”
“Stop Sihle”
“It sucks that we didn’t hear from you when you were away”
“I did call”
“When?”
“I’m sorry. I always told Vanessa to send my greetings to you guys”
“It’s okay, maybe she forgot”
“Maybe”
“So what’s gonna happen between you and Vixen?”
“Why are you asking?”
“I’m sure Vanessa told you that she works at Club Diamond and she’s dating your crush”
“Correction. Hakeem isn’t my crush, he’s my friend plus I stopped by at Club Diamond and she
looked happy to see me”
“If you say so”

I was really tired so I went straight to bed. I dreamt I was swimming in the swimming pool. I
swam to the bottom and I felt someone body weight pushing me further below. I started
panicking, when I finally got this person off of me, I noticed it was Jabu with his shot wound. I
woke up gasping for air. I heard noise coming from the lounge, I walked like a zombie to the
lounge.

“Hey sleepy head”, Puleng gave me a big hug.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost”, she said. I looked at Vanessa who signalled we go to her
room.
“I’m just tired”, I smiled. I went to Vanessa’s bedroom.
“Have you heard from the detectives?” She asked.
“No, I haven’t. I had a bad dream and Jabu was in it. I’m really tired of this”, I whispered.
“And I’m not? Listen, you shouldn’t ruin things for us, okay?” Vanessa brushed my hair.
“I won’t”, I said meekly.
“We’re going out tonight. We’re going to dance like it’s our last night on Earth”, she smiled.

I wish I was as brave as Vanessa. We all dressed in black that night, Hakeem drove by to get
Vixen. The rest of the girls travelled in Vanessa’s car.
I couldn’t wait to have fun and forget my problems. When we got to the club, everyone
screamed, “Welcome back Yoliswa”. I was so surprised.
“Surprise!” Vanessa hugged me.
“You organised this?” I asked her teary eyed. “Yes, with the help of these ladies”, she said.
They gave me a group hug.
In no time, we were on the dance floor and all eyes were on us. Vixen was giving Hakeem a lap
dance in the corner.
“She hangs out with him a lot. It’s actually annoying”, Vanessa whispered to my ear.
“She must really be in love”, I said.
“What love? She’s starstruck”, said Vanessa. “She does it all the time. She left with him tonight,
it’s really annoying”, she added.
“Leave them”, I said.
“I’m actually glad Hakeem got his ass beaten”, Vanessa laughed.
“How can you say that?” I giggled awkwardly. Vanessa just stick her tongue out and started
dancing.
The club was packed!

#24: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

Vanessa ran to her two male friends, Ishmael and Tebogo. I recognised them, I wasn’t fully over
that night when I saw Vanessa half naked and us kissing. Only to be told by her I was
hallucinating. I went to sit down, catch my breathe a little bit. I saw Hakeem walking towards me
smiling, Vixen was nowhere in sight.

“Hello there”, he sipped his beer.

“Hello”, I kept watching over his shoulder.
“Are you waiting or looking for someone?” He asked.
“No. How have you been?” I asked.
“Good. And you?”
“Good”
“Okay. You heard about the fight, right?”
“Yeah. I never thought you guys would ever fight”
“Why?”
“Because you guys seemed really close”
“Even close friends fight”
“I don’t know about that”
“Wait until that happens between you and Vanessa”
“That’s never happening”
“Is everything okay back at home?”
“Yep”
“Why are you distant?”
“I’m not distant”
“You are. It looks like your mind is elsewhere. You’re in a club, it’s your welcome home surprise
party. Cheer up. Or am I boring you?”
“Not at all. I’m okay, tired but okay”
“Alright. Let me go to the toilet. It was nice talking to you”
“Cheers”
“Cheers”

Vanessa came over with Ishmael and Tebogo.

“Come, we’re taking shots”, she grabbed my hand to the bar.
In no time, we were taking shots. Vanessa quickly went to the toilet. I was tipsy.
“I need your help guys, work with me here”, I said.
“What’s up?” They asked.
“Remember the night we all partied together? Did I come home with you guys and Vanessa?” I
asked.
They looked at each other. “You took a cab to your apartment”, said Ishmael.
“Was I extremely drunk?” I asked.
“You were really high”, said Tebogo.
“We were all high though”, Ishmael cut him.
“But she was higher”, Tebogo laughed.
I wasn’t getting anything from them. Vanessa ran to us.
“Let’s dance!” She shouted excitedly.

It was good to see Vixen dancing with the girls, Hakeem was sitting with his friends. I had a
great time, when we went home I couldn’t barely walk. There was an argue between Vanessa
and her male friends, they argued that she was too drunk to drive so they drove us home.
Vanessa is very stubborn.
When we got to the apartment, we had our little party. We were all drunk, I caught a glimpse of
Vixen flirting with the boys.

“Vixen come here!” I shouted. She fell on her way.

“I’m so smashed bruh”, she laughed.
“Look, I love you a lot. I don’t want to have any bad blood with you”, I said. I was drunk, saying
things I shouldn’t be saying.
“I love you too. Every time I look at you I wish I was really close to you. I like the way you dress,
you’re cool, you’re dope. You know? I might have been cold after you told Hakeem that I lived
on the streets but right now it’s all good, you know? We’re the only Xhosa people here, we
should have each other’s back all the time. I love you a lot”, she hugged me.

Afterwards Vanessa came over.

“My friend, you see this one? She’s a sneaky bitch. Look how she’s all over my boys. I feel sorry
for Hakeem”, she said.
“She’s having fun”, I said.
“Will it be fun when she’s on her knees with my boys’ dicks in her mouth?” She asked with her
eyes popped out.
“I have too many things to care about. I don’t care what she does with her life”, I wasn’t even
interested.
“Your eyes should be on Hakeem while her eyes are on other men”, Vanessa gave a smirk. I
just smiled and shook my head.

Alcohol was flowing, we played spin the bottle. I drank so much I blacked out. When I opened
my eyes I was in bed, Sihle was drinking water.

“You were wasted last night my friend”, she laughed.

I sat up, “I have a terrible headache and my eyes are heavy”
“Have you seen yourself? You have to, your eyes are swollen”, she said.
“What?” I jumped from the bed and looked myself in the mirror. My eyes were puffy.
“You were crying last night. You kept saying you’re sorry and that it wasn’t your fault that he had
to go”, said Sihle. When she revealed this my eyes went wide.
“Was it linked with your ex?” She asked.
“Yes!” I nodded, “But I don’t wanna talk about. My break up still haunts me”, I added.
“No wonder you wanted to take things slow with Hakeem, poor thing. I’m here if you want to
talk”, she said.
“Thank you, Sihle”, I faked a smile and quickly went out the room.

I went to look for Vanessa in her room but she wasn’t there. It was awkwardly silent around the
apartment. Puleng and Vixen were nowhere to be seen.
“Where’s everyone?” I asked Sihle.
“They went out for breakfast”, she said.
“Okay. So when I was asking for forgiveness and crying, you and who were present?” I asked.
“Just me and Puleng then Vanessa came and took you to bed with the help of her male friends”,
she said.
“Last night was fun. Let me go make coffee”, I wanted to beat myself for the lack of control. I
should control my drinking, what if next time I spill the beans regarding Jabu’s murder? I wasn’t
even sure if he was really dead, Vanessa says he’s dead but Raymond said he’s alive.

#25: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

The girls came back in the afternoon, they brought us lunch. Vanessa didn’t say a word to me,
she was cold.

“Did Sihle tell you how drunk you were?” Asked Puleng. “You were so drunk. ‘I’m sorry for what
happened. It didn’t have to go the way it did. I’m sorry'”, she imitated me.
“I don’t wanna hear about it again”, I said shyly.
“I wonder who were you talking about”, she said.
“Oh please, Puleng you heard what she said. She doesn’t wanna hear about it, change the
damn subject”, Vanessa said angrily.
“Whoa. Sorry Yoliswa”, Puleng said to Vanessa.

“We’re turning up again, right?” Vixen asked.

“Of course”, said Vanessa. ” You need to control your drinking, Yoliswa. Drink like a lady, last
night you were very unlady-like”, she said.
“Don’t conform to societal’s expectations of how a woman should act”, Sihle said to me.
“You didn’t have to carry her to her bed so shut up”, Vanessa told Sihle.
“Your friends did not you, you shut up”, said Sihle.
“I can’t deal with childish bitches”, Vanessa left.
“Yeah, walk away like you always do”, said Sihle.
“Guys, we had a great night last night, we don’t need this”, said Puleng. I stood up and went to
Vanessa’s room.
“Great!” I heard Sihle exclaim.

Vanessa was lying on the bed.

“Is everything okay?” I asked.
“You can be such a fool sometimes”, she said.
“Don’t you think you insulted me enough?” I asked.
“Don’t you think you deserve it?” She asked.
“I was drunk. I had no control over myself”
“You need to learn control”
“I will, clearly”
“Don’t just say it – ”
“I don’t know what more you want from me. It was a mistake, okay? I’m sorry”
“You should be sorry. Last night I was so embarrassed by what you did. I was cringing, I had to
ask myself if that was my friend lying on the floor crying because of alcohol. If I could take back
yesterday, I would. I really would”
“I’m sorry I embarrassed you. I had a great night, it’s unfortunate that things had to end that
way”
“I don’t wanna look at your face right now”
“Vanessa, I don’t know why you’re treating me like a disgusting thing – ”
“You disgusted me! The fact that you can sit here and act like you’re not ashamed and really
sorry, disgusts me”
“I am sorry! – ”
“Don’t raise your voice – ”
“I don’t know what you want from me. I’ve already apologised to you and I’m going to apologise
to the girls as well”
“Do you think they even care? I was the one who fucking took you to bed. They were laughing.
Even Sihle who’s suddenly your lawyer, they laughed at you. They were on the floor. You were
a laughing stock. And you want to apologise to them. Why?”
“Well, I didn’t know that happened. I guess not”
“I want what’s best for you. You know that. Those girls don’t care. Sihle doesn’t care, Puleng
doesn’t care, even that bitch Vixen doesn’t care. I’m hard on you because I know you can do
better. I know you more than those bitches. I have your back and I’d like to believe you have
mine too. People will laugh with you but behind your back, they laugh at you like those bitches
sitting there”
“I do have your back, 100% You know my secrets, I trust you. I apologise with my whole heart
for what happened last night. I’m going to control my intake of alcohol. If it’s possible, I want to
share a room with you”
“Apology accepted. Puleng can move in with Sihle and Vixen in that room. The bitch snores like
crazy”

We hugged and squashed everything. Vanessa told the girls that I’m going to share a room with
her and that Puleng will move into my old room with Sihle and Vixen. Puleng took it well, there
was no arguing.
A month later.
Me, Vanessa and Vixen grew closer because we worked at the same time. Hakeem and his
friends jokingly referred to us as Destiny’s Child, usually followed by which member is which girl.
I finally met up with the detective the past month and I feel a lot more relieved because it all
passed. I have been busy in the club but I wanted to go back to looking for my mother. Vanessa
suggested I meet up with a PI, she said she’ll accompany me.
The last time I spoke or seen Nosipho was at Martin’s party. We don’t speak like before
because our conversations usually ended with me defending Vanessa. I couldn’t understand
why she was obsessed with Vanessa when she’s not her favourite person.
Thando visited me at work, although I don’t speak with Nosipho anymore, I still maintain contact
with him.

“Hey you”, he hugged me.

“What a surprise”, I smiled.
“I hope you haven’t had lunch”, he said.
“No, I haven’t”, I said.
“Let’s go to Jump Cafe, bruh”, he said.
“You’re not serious”, he looked him in the eye.
“I am. Why?” I asked.
“Is this a set up? You know Nosipho works there”, I said.
“You’re guys aren’t talking. Right now, you don’t exist in each other’s lives. Why is it hard to be
at her workplace? You can ignore her the way you’re doing right now”, he said.
“What if she serves me? I have to speak to her. I can’t risk things”
“You girls are just full of drama. You and Nosipho were doing great before someone got into the
picture”
“Who? Vanessa? She’s always been there for me”
“And Nosipho hasn’t?”
“No”
“Wow. Okay. We can go to any restaurant of your choice”
“Let’s go to Dine With Me”
“Cool. Meet you in my car”
“Okay, I’ll be there in 5 minutes”

We drove to Dine With Me.

“I should meet the owner of this restaurant. This place is sick”, said Thando.
“I know him, he’s friends with Vanessa”, I said. He gave me a grin.
“What?” I asked him.
“You know everyone now?” He asked.
“Not everyone, some people”, I said.
“Don’t mix with everyone. Look at Nosipho, she learnt her lesson”
“I’m not Nosipho”
“I’m just saying”
“I don’t want a lecture”
“Fine”
“Good”
“Are you mad at me now?”
“Yes”
“Okay”
“Very mad”
“I’m sorry. We’re in a beautiful restaurant, let’s not spoil it”
“You did not me”
“You gonna blow this thing up”
“Just shut up, Thando”
“Loosen the fuck up, bruh. What the hell?”
“You’re such an ass”
“I’m an ass”
“You are”
“Let’s lighten the mood”
“Whatever”
“You know I’ll stand up and dance in front of everyone if you carry on like this. Or stand on the
table”
“You wouldn’t do that”
“I can”
“Don’t do it, you’re going to embarrass us”
“Us?”
“Yeah, you and me”
“Don’t worry, I won’t. Let’s talk about us”
“What about us?”
“I like the sound of us”
“We’ve talked about this and – ”
“It’s cool. Whatever makes you happy I’m happy”
“You’re so cheesy”
“Like a cheese spread?”
“Like a cheese spread”
“I’d like to spread something else”

Thando was really smooth, although he annoyed me sometimes, there was something about
him I liked so much. I couldn’t quite figure out what.
He stuck out his tongue and wiggled it. He can be silly sometimes, we laughed at his silliness. I
ended up having a good lunch out. He drove me to work, we planned to meet again in the
evening.

#26: Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

Vanessa gave me a naughty smile from across the room. She walked towards me with a tablet
in hand.

“I heard you and King Pin went out for lunch”, she said.
“Yeah, we did”, I said.
“When are you guys making it official?” She asked. I was surprised she asked because she’s
been pulling me in Hakeem’s direction but not much ever since Vixen got close with us.
“You know we’re just friends”, I said.
“I’m sure Nosipho is jealous of you guys. This is the man she once loved and found out he’s her
cousin”, she said.
“I don’t care about that one”, I really didn’t care what she was feeling.
“Enough of this King Pin and Nosipho talk. I’ve got good news for you. Remember I suggested
you meet up with a PI? Well, I was recommended this guy, he’s really good. His name is Jacob
Peters, I have his contact details. You can contact him whenever you’re ready”, Vanessa gave
me a piece of paper with the guy’s contact details.
I was so excited, it gave me so much hope.

“Thank you my friend”, I hugged her.

“That’s what friends are for, right?” She smiled at me. We got back to work.

On our long day from work, we ordered pizza. When we got to the apartment, Hakeem and
Vixen were cuddling on the couch.

“Where’s everyone?” Asked Vanessa.

“They went out for dinner”, replied Vixen whose tongue was down Hakeem’s throat.
“That’s a pity. We brought pizza, indulge yourselves”, Vanessa was a bit annoyed.
“I need to take a shower and get dressed. I’m meeting Thando tonight”, I said.
“Are you guys going on a date?” Asked Vixen.
“Not really”, I said.
“You know what would be really cool? A double date”, said Vixen. I could see Hakeem’s eyes
widen.
“That’s not quite a bad idea. How about tonight?” I asked. I knew Hakeem was uncomfortable
with the idea but I knew he wasn’t going to turn down his excited girlfriend.
“I’m in. Babe, can we?” Vixen gave Hakeem the puppy eyes.
“Okay”, Hakeem under his breathe.

I called Thando and told him about the double date, he was an uncomfortable as Hakeem but
he said yes. They don’t have a pleasant history, Hakeem is friends with the guy Thando hates
and Hakeem isn’t much of a fan, Thando too. I just hope the double date ends with both of them
walking out alive.
Dine With Me was the perfect place, Vanessa organised a table for us. We were to all meet at
the club afterwards. Vanessa got ready like she was tagging along, when I asked where she
was heading to, she said she’ll rather go to her male friends than stay behind with Puleng and
Sihle. I thought, but you lived with them before me and Vixen moved in.
Me and Vixen took our time getting ready, when we were done, luckily Sihle and Puleng got
home. Hakeem drove us to Dine With Me. Thando’s car was already parked outside. We were
shown our table, he was drinking water. I couldn’t imagine how awkward it was for Hakeem and
Thando, they didn’t shake hands, they nodded their heads. Me and Thando were seated
opposite Vixen and Hakeem.

“You’re looking good”, Thando complimented me.

“Thank you. You too and you smell good”, I returned the compliment. “You know Vixen, right?” I
asked him.
“Yeah, you mention her sometimes and I see her here and there at the club but we never really
said a word to each other”, he smiled.
“It will all change tonight”, said Vixen.
“Yeah”, he smiled and drank his water.
“You two know each other but we won’t go there”, I pointed at Hakeem and Thando.
“We don’t want things to be more awkward than they are”, said Hakeem.
“How do you guys know each other?” Asked Vixen.
“Let’s change the subject”, I said.
“Did you guys date the same girl?” Vixen was letting this go.
“Babe chill”, Hakeem said this with a bit of annoyance.
It was awkward in the beginning but the conversation started to flow. I applaud Thando for
putting their differences aside. They even discovered that they supported the same football
team. After what turned out to be a great double date, we headed to the club. We even
scheduled a second date, the boys wanted us to go bowling next time. I got in Thando’s car on
the way to the club.

The club was really packed. Vanessa was dancing with Tebogo, I didn’t see Ishmael. I didn’t
want to leave Thando alone so I danced with him. After some minutes, in walked Nosipho.

“You didn’t tell me she was coming”, I said.

“I knew how you’d react”, he said.
“You’ll have to excuse me”, I went to join Vanessa.
Nosipho gave me a nasty look when I walked past her. What’s wrong with her?

#27 Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

“You were right, she’s jealous of me and Thando”, I whispered in Vanessa’s ear.
“I told you. She’s fake this girl”, said Vanessa. “I want you to go and snatch King Pin and dance
with him. Even give him a lengthy kiss then give Nosipho a wink”

I laughed. “I’d have to drink to do that then blame it on alcohol”, I said.

When me and Vanessa hit the dance floor, we let loose. I quickly ran to the bathroom to pee
because I’ve had a few glasses. On my way out, I bumped into Hakeem. He had champagne all
over his head and shirt, and some on his pants. I could see his six pack, he looked so sexy.

“What happened to you?” I asked.

“Champagne showers”, he laughed. I stared at his dimple.
“You’re looking hot anyway”, it slipped. I paused and looked at him, he smiled at me.
“Thank you. I was heading upstairs to change”, he said.
“Okay”, I moved out of his way.
“Yoliswa”, he called me.
“Yes?” I replied.
“You’re also looking hot”, he said then ran upstairs. I felt butterflies in my tummy, let’s just blame
alcohol.

I didn’t see Vanessa on the dance floor, I saw Puleng and Sihle, I asked them if they’ve seen
Vanessa, they said she disappeared with some guy. I was worried, I went to look for her in the
rooms upstairs but didn’t see her. I went to the back of the club and I was welcomed by the
scent of marijuana. There she was, smoking with Tebogo and some random guy.

“I was looking all over for you, I was worried”, I said. She laughed and said, “You worry too
much. I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself”
She passed me a blunt.
“Here, lose yourself for once”, she said.
“No, thanks. I’m good”, I said.
“This stuff will make you better. Good is average”, the random guy said.
“Who are you anyway?” I asked him.
“He’s a friend of mine”, Vanessa replied.
“TJ”, the guy extended his hand for a handshake. I stared at his hand, reluctant. I eventually
shook his hand.
“Yoliswa”, I introduced myself.
“Nice to meet you. Join us in heaven”, he said.
I shook my head. “See you inside, Vee”, I went inside.

Later Vanessa entered the club alone. I was seated, my mood shifted slightly, I wasn’t having
fun no more.

“Hey friend who needs to learn to loosen up”, said Vanessa. She hugged me, “Why do I love
you so much?” She was high. “Do you love me too?” She asked.
“Of course I do”, I replied.
“Really?” He asked again.
“You know that”, I said.
“Are you going to leave me?” She asked.
“No. Why are you asking me these questions?” I asked.
“Because people who say they love me always end up leaving me”, she said. Things just went
deep, although she was high, she was saying things she buried deep down.
“I won’t”, I stroke her hair.
“You’re a nice kid. Really nice. But I don’t wish to have your heart. You’re soft”
“I think everyone has their soft side”
“Show me your hard side”
“I don’t want to force it, Vee. It will reveal itself”
“You’re too soft”
“Not really”
“Why didn’t you smoke that blunt?”
“Because I didn’t want to. Since when is smoking a blunt a representation of hardness?”
“It’s not. It’s just that, you’re too conscious. You need to loosen up. Look how you were freaking
out when the detective was on your tail”
“Do you blame me? I don’t want to get on anyone’s bad side”
“That’s the problem. Fuck what everyone thinks”
“The difference between me and you is that I care”

Vanessa went silent then said, “I feel so good right now. Let’s go lose ourselves on the dance
floor”. We ran to the dance floor. My eyes met with Hakeem’s, he smiled at me and continued
dancing with Vixen.
“You two want each other. It’s all written in your faces”, Vanessa whispered in my ear.
“He’s my friend’s boyfriend”, I smiled.
We continued dancing. We went home at around 4am. We had another party at the apartment,
we drank alcohol and blasted the music. We played drinking games. At one point during spin
the bottle, Vanessa and Vixen gave each other a raunchy kiss. I was amused, I suddenly
remembered our encounter. Is this girl straight?
The room started moving, I was drunk. I couldn’t keep my balance, I fell on the couch, so
comfortably I closed my eyes and dosed off.
I relived the Jabu case in my dreams again.
I heard the back door shutting, I turned and it was Jabu.
“What are you doing here? You’re so obsessed with me”, I said.
“Bitch you’ve gotten away with a lot of shit. I don’t let a bitch walk all over me”, he said.
“Get lost you asshole”, I said. He grabbed me by my hair, pushed me and I fell. He grabbed me
up, knocked me against the wall, he called me all types of names. He smacked me, chocked me
and told me I was going to die a painful death. I cried, he overpowered me. I just heard two
shots, he looked me in the eyes. His eyes were rolling back, I could feel his weight all over me.
He fell to the ground, my dress had blood stains. Raymond came over to me, he was carrying a
gun. Vanessa was fixing her dress and wearing her shoes.

“Are you okay?” Raymond hugged me. I didn’t know what to say. “That bastard deserved to
die”, he said.
“My friend, are you okay?” Vanessa was worried.
“Yes”, I nodded.
“Let’s take you home”, said Raymond. He took off his jacket and he placed it on my shoulders.
“I’ll deal with him”, said Raymond.

I went to Diamond Lounge or as we call it, Club Diamond. Vanessa was typing on a laptop.
“Good morning my friend”, she said.
“Is he dead?” I asked.
“Who are you talking about?” She asked.
“Jabu, is he dead?” I asked again.
“Oh, him. I don’t know”, she said.
“What do you mean you don’t know Vee?”
“Just like you, I don’t know”

I waited for Raymond for a couple of minutes. He finally arrived.

“You said it was urgent”, he said.
“I just wanted to ask you something”, I said.
“Okay, ask”, he said.
“Is he dead?”
“Yoliswa – ”
“Raymond please tell me”
“Yoliswa – ”
“Yes or no?”
“No”
“Where’s his body?”
“I think it’s better if you don’t know. Yesterday didn’t happen, okay?”

When I woke up, it was morning and I was on my bed.

#28 Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

I didn’t feel well in the morning, I didn’t even get a good night rest because we slept in the
morning. It was raining outside. The dream I had was a reminder that I will never escape Jabu’s
death. I was doing so well.

Vanessa was all dressed, “Do you wanna go out?” He asked.

“I’m not feeling good”, I said.
“Last night was a jump!” She seemed alright, no hangover.
“How come you’re all fresh like you didn’t sleep for a few hours?”
“Because I have a really good relationship with my body unlike some people”
“I’m really tired. I’m going to sleep the whole day”
“Hopefully recharging for tonight”
“Yeah. I had a dream -”
“About your family?”
“No, him”
“We’ve been through this”
“It felt like I was there. When he got shot, his blood all over my clothes, Richard saying he’s still
alive, you not sure -”
“Let it go. It happened, just let it go”
“I’ve been doing exactly that but I dreamt about it”
“I can get you some pills”
“You think drugging myself to sleep will erase everything? It’s not the first time I dreamt about it,
Vanessa. You act like I’m in control of what I dream about. Trust me, if I was, I would not dream
about it”
“This is tiring. Because it passed, life carries on, no need to dwell on the past”
 “A past that happens to haunts me. It’s easy for you to say because it doesn’t affect you. It
doesn’t replay over and over in your mind”
“I love you but I’m done talking about this. Get some rest, I’m going out with Puleng. She’s the
only one dressed”
I wasn’t surprised, Vanessa doesn’t care for anyone but herself. I spent the morning ranting to
Sihle how selfish Vanessa is, she had a lot to contribute.
In the afternoon, me and Sihle went out for lunch. Sihle brought me to this new dining place
called Martin’s.
I saw Metaphor but acted like I didn’t see him, he walked past us and didn’t say a word.

“I never realised how much I missed you before we got to Martin’s”, said Sihle.
“We live together, we share a bedroom and we go out together”, I said.
“I know but we’re always surrounded by people. We were closer when you first got to
Johannesburg”, she said.
“You’re right”, it was so awkward.
“I hope we do this more often”, she said.
“Me too”, I said.
“When are you going to look for your mom?”
“Vanessa referred me to a PI”
“That’s much better”
“Yeah”
“What’s really going on between you and Nosipho’s cousin?”
“Thando?”
“Yes, him”
“We’re just friends, I guess”
“You guess?”
“Yeah. Like, I’m not really attracted to him”
“You’re just attracted to Hakeem?”
“You guys are going to get me into trouble”
“So I’m not the only one who notices?”
“Notices what? Hakeem has a girlfriend and she happens to be a friend of mine”
 “That’s tricky. I know you two like each other but as much as I’d love to see two people who like
each other together, he’s your friend’s man”
“Why are you saying that like I’m going to snatch him away from Vixen? Hakeem is just a friend
who happens to be dating my other friend”
I was overwhelmed by guilt. All the times I’d catch Hakeem looking at me and exchange glances
with him, I felt guilty. I enjoyed his attention. But he’s dating my friend, how can I be such a bad
friend?
I enjoyed lunch at Martin’s but I couldn’t shake the guilt I felt. We took a cab home, Vanessa
and Puleng were watching a movie. Vixen wasn’t home though. I dragged Vanessa to her
bedroom.

“What’s wrong?” She asked.

“I’m a bad friend. How can I be a bad friend?” I threw myself on the bed.
“I’m lost. Why are you a bad friend again?” Vanessa sat next to me.
“Vixen is my friend, I can’t be enjoying her man’s attention”, I buried my face in my hands.
Vanessa laughed at me, “You’re so dramatic. You need to chill. Stop creating problems for
yourself”
“How would you react if your friend loved your boyfriend’s attention?”
“I wouldn’t know”
“Just answer the question, Vee”
“I really wouldn’t know because I wouldn’t be aware. You need to understand, you wouldn’t be
the only guilty party. The boyfriend would also be the bad guy”
“Men are known to be dogs, she’ll let him off the hook easily. I, in the other hand, will be a
horrible friend and she will want nothing to do with me”
“Girls are known to not get along, your point?”
“Vanessa, you don’t understand”
“Is this how you’ve been living your life? Creating problems for yourself?”
“No, it’s just that -”
“Stop worrying. Chill. You’re not a bad friend, you’re a better person than I’d be in this situation.
If you were a bad person, you wouldn’t care like you’re doing right now”
“Really?”
“Yes”
“I’m sorry about this morning, Vee”
“You were right”
“I was angry because I feel like most times you brush things off”
“That’s what I know, you get up and keep it moving”
“Not everyone is the same”
“I had a lot of scars growing up. I fell, got into fights, got beaten up. No one stood up for me, my
parents always told me to get up, dust myself and keep it moving. I’ve cried till I couldn’t. Only
the strong survive”
“You never speak about your family”
“I choose not to”
“Oh”
“I’m the person I am because of my experiences. I’ve taken the biggest punch from life but I
dusted myself, got back on my feet and said, ‘You hit like a bitch’. This is nothing. I want you to
be strong. I wish I had someone who told me these things growing up”
“Thanks. I appreciate it”
“For real. Don’t create problems for yourself”
“I’ll try”
“Not good enough”
“I will”
“I hope so”

Vanessa left, she touched my heart. I saw the sincerity in her eyes, that very moment, she won
me over again as a friend. A best friend.

#29 Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

In the evening, we got ready to hit the club. We all wore black. There was a great vibe, mostly
because we all took shots. Minutes later, a Quantum taxi came to fetch us. Vanessa knew the
driver, she knows everyone.
Vixen seemed to be the only one tipsy, she kept telling us how much of a good boyfriend
Hakeem was and how good in bed he was.

“He takes me to Heaven every time we have sex”, she bragged.

“Too much info”, said Sihle.
“Everyone here knows sex. Everyone here has had sex before. Even you, miss innocence”,
Vixen said to Sihle. “I can’t wait to dance with my bae”, she said excitedly. Vanessa looked at
me and shook her head, I smiled.

We got to the club. I was in a good mood, I couldn’t wait to dance, drink, flirt and just live my life.
Vixen ran into Hakeem’s arms, she was very energetic, I’ve never seen her behave like that.

“I swear, she didn’t take the same shots as us”, I told Vanessa.
“Her true colours are showing”, said Vanessa.
“Look how embarrassed Hakeem is, poor guy”, I said.
“By the end of the night, you’ll be comforting him. I have a feeling”, she said. I just smiled and
shook my head.

We were sitting at the same table as Hakeem and his friends. The alcohol was flooding.
Vanessa disappeared for a while and came back with a card.

“Look what I got”, she dangled the card in my face.

“What’s this?” I snatched it. “S&M Holdings. Mr T. Sithole, what the hell?” I read the card.
“Well, it’s a business card. Mr Sithole and his friends want to see us, like, now”, she said.
“Who are these guys?” I was confused.
“Filthy rich guys. They haves shares at mines, business men, they are billionaires my friend”
“Whoa. They’re probably old”
“So what? Let’s just go upstairs and say hi to them”
“Are they fat?”
“They’re toned”
“We’re just gonna say hi?”
“Yes, then we’ll dance the night away”

I followed Vanessa upstairs. I was nervous, I didn’t want to stay for a long time. When we got
there, they were laughing loudly. They were only four.
“You’re back”, the one smiled. He was light skinned, had dimples and really white teeth. “This is
my friend Yoliswa”, Vanessa introduced me to them.

Mr Sithole was the light skinned one. There was Mr Mbatha who looked scary, he didn’t smile
much. Mr Van Wyk, he looked like a coloured but he spoke IsiZulu. Mr Thabethe was short, he
was the only one who was wearing a ring.

“Join us girls”, Mr Sithole signalled us to sit. I looked at Vanessa, it didn’t look like we were just
going to say hi.
“Loosen up. What are the girls drinking?” Mr Thabethe asked us.
“I’m good”, I said.
“Are you sure?” Asked Mr Van Wyk.
“Yes”, I replied.
“Your friend is really smart. I like her mind, I mean, I love it”, Mr Sithole told me about Vanessa. I
saw his hands creeping under the table, he grabbed her thigh. Vanessa smiled at him.

I stood up, “Vanessa let’s go”, I said.

“What’s wrong now?” Asked Mr Mbatha.
“I’m not feeling well”, I said. I lied.
“Here’s some water”, Mr Mbatha gave me a bottle of water.
“I don’t need water”, I said.
“This was my granny’s remedy for everything. If you had a headache, you drink water. If you
had a stomach ache, drink water. Financial problems, drink water”, said Mr Mbatha. Everyone
laughed. I couldn’t help myself, I laughed.
“And laughter is the best medicine, they say. How are you feeling right now?” He asked.
“A bit better”, I lied.
“Good”, he smiled. It was the first time seeing him smile.

They turned out to be really nice guys and funny too. After a few hours, they said they were
leaving. I couldn’t believe how time flew. Mr Sithole gave me their business card. We told them
we worked at the club, they didn’t even ask for our numbers. We all left the VVIP room upstairs,
Mr Mbatha turned to me and said, “Here, tomorrow go see a doctor or something”, he gave me
a stack of money. We were trailing behind, Vanessa didn’t see anything. I thanked him, I wanted
to not accept the money but I did.
They left and we went back to our table. I told Vanessa that Mr Mbatha gave me a stack of
money. We went to count it away from the crowd and it was R10 000. I paid Vanessa the money
she borrowed me when I went home. I was so excited, I was even planning on sending some
back home.
We took more shots and danced. Vixen was on the floor, Hakeem had baggage, I felt sorry for
him. Sihle and Puleng later left with Vixen. I saw Hakeem going upstairs, a few minutes later, I
followed him. He went to the storeroom, I opened the door.

“Hey!” He got a fright.

“I’m sorry, what were you doing?” I asked.
“Just checking some stuff, what are you doing here?” He asked.
“I work here”
“But you’re not on duty”
“I am now”
“You’re following me?”
“Why would I?”
“I don’t know. Maybe you like having me in sight?”
“Oh, please. You’re not that special”
“Really? I feel special because you give me more eye contact than any person in the building”
“More than your girl even?”
“Maybe it’s a tie”
“You played that well. You must be really exhausted from picking your girl from the floor”
“Why are you saying it like that?”
“Like what?”
“Like it’s some kind of a joke”
“But you were picking her from the floor”
“Wow. What a friend you are hey”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“The Yoliswa I know wouldn’t pass such a remark about her friend. Or hang out with sugar
daddies”
“Whoa. Wait, sugar daddies?”
“Yes, sugar daddies. Blessers. How much did you girls get?”
“You’re disgusting. The Hakeem I know wouldn’t say this”
“What do you want from those people?”
“You don’t even know what happened! You just concluded. We were just chatting with them,
they’re really nice decent people”
“Of course they’re going to be nice in order to win you girls over!”
“Why do you care so much?”
“Because I don’t want to see you hurt”
“Hurt by what? Talking to them?”
“It will escalate. You will get lured. Those people have everything you don’t have, they will
provide them for you. Don’t get fooled by that, they will use you and when they’re done with you,
they will get another beautiful girl. Those people don’t care”
“I guess that’s what we have in common, we don’t care. You should focus your care on your
girl”

I left the storeroom. I felt nausea. The thought of him, I couldn’t say his name without pulling a
face. Maybe I really needed this so I can get over him.

#30 Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

Vanessa was dancing on the table, the TJ guy was sitting across her cheering her on. I went
over and got her off the table.

“You’re acting like Vixen!” I yelled.

“What the fuck? Why do you have to always suck the fun out of everything?” TJ asked furiously.
“You better shut up”, I said to him.
“Or what? What are you gonna do? You think you’re better with your mightier than thou
attitude?” He was all up in my face. I shove him.
“Chill out, bro”, Vanessa dragged him by his hand.
“I’m chilled it’s just that I hate when a bitch thinks she’s all that when she’s not”, he said.
Vanessa slapped him on the mouth.
“Are you serious? Fuck you, bruh”, TJ walked away. People were looking at us.
“You’re a bad influence”, I said to him. He stopped, and walked back to us.
“Really? What has Vanessa haven’t done? Fuck off”, he said.
“Friend, leave him alone”, Vanessa said to me. “Please go”, she said to TJ.
“I was leaving anyway”, he left.

After a while, Vanessa called her Italian friend, Frankie to come fetch us. He came instantly. He
drove us home. When we got home, Sihle told me that Vixen vomited on my bed and she was
sleeping there. It was so gross. Vanessa said it was okay, I can sleep with her. I was so tired, I
slept instantly.
In the morning I woke up with a horrible hangover. When I went to the kitchen, Hakeem was
eating bacon and eggs. Vixen was busy in the kitchen with an oversized shirt. I didn’t greet
Hakeem, I only greeted Vixen.

“Hey Vixen”, I poured a glass of water.

“Hello friend. I’m sorry about your bed. I washed your linen as soon as I woke up”, she said.
“It’s okay. Thank you. Where are the others?” It was so quiet.
“Vanessa went to a ‘meeting’, Sihle went to meet her mother and sister and Puleng went to a
blind date”, she replied.
“Okay. I wonder what meeting Vanessa went to. It seems like everyone got plans”, I said
downing the water.
“I’m going to spend the day at Hakeem’s house”, she said.
“Now that I think about it, I have to go to the mall to do something”, I said.
“That’s better”, she said. I went to Vanessa’s bedroom to get my phone.

I called my cousin, Asisipho. I was happy to hear her voice. I told her I was going to send them
R3000. She was happy to hear that, I even spoke to my grandmother. She sounded fine, I was
happy that she was okay. They didn’t ask me about my mother, I was lowkey glad.
After Vixen and Hakeem left, I took a bath and got ready. Before leaving the house, I sent a
message to the girls, telling them where the key was hidden just in case they arrive before me.
It wasn’t that packed at the mall. I went to send the money via Shoprite Money Market. I sent
Asisipho the numbers and called her and gave her the pin code.
I heard someone calling me at the parking lot, I looked around and it was Mr Mbatha. He got out
of his black Bugatti.

“Hello there, nice to meet you again”, he said. He was wearing an expensive looking suit. He
looked like he was going to attend an awards ceremony.
“Hi, nice to meet you too”, I said nervously.
“Are you in a rush?” He asked. I wanted to say yes but I thought, I was going to get home and
nobody would be back yet. I’d spend the day alone and get bored to death.
“No, I’m not”, I replied.
“I want us to grab something to eat and talk, you know”, he said.
“I’d love that”, I said. He opened his car door. “Please wait for me here. I need to be
somewhere, it won’t take long”, he said. I got into the car.

It looked like I was in a spaceship. The interior looked out of this world. I watched him disappear
then I took multiple selfies. I waited for a long time, he said he wasn’t going to take long but it
was an hour or so. He finally came back.

“I’m sorry, I know I said I wasn’t going to take long but I also didn’t know it was going to take that
long”, he said.
“It’s okay”, I said.
“Thank you for being so understanding”, he smiled.

Moments later, his phone rang, he answered it. I saw his facial expression changing, he
dropped the phone.
“Satan doesn’t rest. That was my partner, he wants to see me, he says it will be brief. We’re
meeting at Martin’s. I’m so sorry, we will still go out. Let me drive there then we can go to a
fancy restaurant”, he said. I nodded, I didn’t have much to say.
He told me about his new restaurant in Pretoria he opened with his partner friend. I was shy to
ask if he had any kids. We arrived at Martin’s. People were looking at the car, he got out, I
waited for him in the car. Just minutes after he got into Martin’s, I saw Nosipho entering
Martin’s, I made sure she didn’t see me. She got out with Thando, they spoke for a while before
parting ways.
After 30 minutes, Mr Mbatha got out. He entered the car.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“Yes”, I smiled.

There was a knock on the window.

“You forgot your pen”, this voice said. It sounded familiar, when I looked, it was Thando.
“Hey Yoliswa”, he greeted me. I could see he wasn’t expecting to see me there. I gave him the
nod of acknowledgment.
“Thank you, man. We’ll talk later tonight”, Mr Mbatha drove away.
“You guys know each other?” He asked.
“Yeah, I’m friends with his cousin sister”, I said.
“Alright. We’re going to my other restaurant”, he said.

I thought, this man is filthy rich. I wasn’t familiar with the surroundings we were in but it was a
wealthy neighbourhood. He parked at the parking lot, across a very fancy restaurant called La
Concuna.
“This is it”, he said. He quickly got out of the car and opened the door for me.
“Thank you”, I got out. I felt like such a lady.

When we entered the restaurant, people showed him so much respect. It was like he was a
president. A waiter led us to a table.

He was really great company, the food was amazing, it was so delicious. He told me his funny
childhood stories and his come up stories in the business world. I had so much fun but I was still
nervous. He told me I should call him Walter. We spent hours in the restaurant, I was having
such a good time.
It didn’t feel like Sunday.

#31 Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

When we left La Concuna it was raining, we ran to the car. I was wearing a short sleeved top, I
was cold, I even had chicken skin.
”We need to get you a coat, it’s really cold”, he said. I was shy to say no to him. I didn’t say
anything. He drove to the mall, on the way he kept raving about this boutique he usually buy
some of his clothes at.
When we got to the mall, he led me to Dennis, the name of the boutique. The employees
displayed so much respect for him. They quickly came to assist. So this is how to gain respect
from employees as a customer, you have to be filthy rich. One lady took me to where the coats
were.
”As you can see, our beautiful coats. From Gucci to Burberry to Armani to Dior to Dolce &
Gabbana”, the lady said.
“They’re beautiful”, I said.
“And expensive”, she smiled.
“I just wanted plain and simple and not expensive”, I said.
“I’m sure Mr Mbatha won’t mind. He’s rich”, she said. “I’ve always wondered what it felt like
dating a man who can afford everything. They say money can’t buy happiness but I’d be happy
if I landed on this section once in a while. He’s come with a variety of girls but you’re not like
them. You’re pretty chilled and like, you’re not bitchy”, she added.
“We’re not together”, I quickly defended myself.
“Oh? I’m so sorry, is he your father?” She asked.
“No”, I looked at the coats.
“So what is he to you then?” She asked. She was so curious and very unprofessional.
“I didn’t come here to discuss what relationship I have with Mr Mbatha. Are you going to assist
or should I ask someone else to assist me?” At this point, I was feeling sassy.

She didn’t say anything, she helped me look for a coat. I finally found a coat, it was a black Dior
leather coat. Mr Mbatha loved it, he paid for it and we left. On our way out, Thando and Nosipho
were entering. Mr Mbatha joked how it was a coincident, I greeted Nosipho but she was so cold.
We left, finally.
I wore my coat. We were parked in the parking lot.

”You look beautiful”, he gave me a compliment. He said that like a thousand times already. I
smiled and accepted the compliment. He slowly moved his hand from the gear to my thigh. I
thought maybe he did it by mistake, he looked me in my eyes and smiled. I awkwardly smiled
back.
”I’m hosting a charity function at my place tomorrow night. I’d love to have you by my side as my
date”, he said.
“I’d love to be your date”, I couldn’t say no because he did so much for me. Giving me R10 000,
taking me to a fancy restaurant and buying me an expensive coat.

He brushed my thigh, “I love your skin”, he said. He started driving. “Tomorrow my driver will
fetch you from work so you can buy an outfit for tomorrow’s charity function. I will call a friend of
mine who owns this boutique, so I can tell him you’re coming by”, he said. I was blown away,
I’m used to people like him on TV.
He dropped me at the apartment, I thanked him. He asked for my phone number, I gave it to
him. It was late when I got home. Everyone was home. The girls were curious to know what I
got up to. I told them everything. In the evening, we started preparing to hit the club.
Me and Vanessa were getting ready in her bedroom.
“So there’s a charity function happening tomorrow and Mr S didn’t even tell me”, she said.
“Maybe he forgot”, I said.
“He’s not that old”, she said. We paused and laughed.
“Are you meeting him tonight?” I asked.
“I don’t know. He didn’t mention anything about the club. Did Mr M mention anything about the
club?” She asked.
“Not at all”, I replied. I could see Vanessa was a bit disappointed. “What meeting were you on?”
I asked.
“Business”, she replied. She didn’t say much.

When it was 10PM we left the apartment. A Quantum took us to the club. We sang along to
songs playing in the radio, it was so fun but we haven’t had anything to drink yet.
When we got to the club, as usual, Vixen went to Hakeem. She acts like a clingy girlfriend, it’s
annoying.
We all took shots except for Vixen who was busy with Hakeem.

“Vixen is annoying now. We get it, you’re dating Hakeem”, I said annoyingly.
”She’s in love”, said Sihle.
“That’s obsession not love”, I said.
“Are you the master of love now?” Sihle asked sarcastically.
“Why are we even talking about Vixen? Let’s get drunk”, Vanessa poured shots.

We took shots after shots. I was really drunk, I couldn’t stand still. While we were dancing,
Vanessa told me she saw Mr Sithole. She wanted me to accompany her upstairs, I was so
drunk, I didn’t want to face him and his friends like this.

”My friend I’m wasted. I don’t want them to see me like this”, I said.
“Fine. I’ll go by myself”, she went upstairs. She was not drunk at all, that surprised me because
she took shots with us and more even.

Vanessa came back a few minutes later, she looked angry.

“What happened?” I asked.
“I swear I saw him. Now that pathetic thing said he wasn’t there but you know what’s funny? He
didn’t want to open the bloody door. He’s in there, I know it. He must be there with some girl. If
he wants to play, then he met someone who’s used to this game. I edited the settings of this
game. He will know me”, Vanessa was boiling. I wanted to lighten up the mood so I joked,
“Maybe you’re just tipsy”, I smiled. She looked at me, shook her head and cracked a little smile.
“Let’s have fun. I don’t want you to be like this the whole night. Lighten up”, I hugged her.

She laughed and said, “You’re starting to sound like me now”.

We danced the night away. A few hours later, Vanessa’s friends, Ishmael and Tebogo were
there. Vanessa came with a tray, he handed me a glass.

“What’s this?” I asked. It was a pink drink.

“This my friend is what I call a good time”, she drank her glass.
“I’m so drunk, I hope I don’t vomit tomorrow morning or tonight”, I drank this pink drink.

After a few minutes, I felt dizzy. The room was moving. Vanessa held my hand and drag me to
the dance floor. I didn’t feel drunk, I felt light. It was kind of a nice feeling. We left the club. I felt
so sleepy, I don’t remember our ride but I remember bits. Like waking up with Tebogo closing
the door of the bedroom me and Vanessa were in. We were left alone.
I closed my eyes, when I opened them again, we were kissing passionately. She sucked my
neck and planted kisses on my face. When I looked in the mirror, I had a love bite on my neck. I
closed my eyes, when I opened them, she was on top of me. Her face changed to Jabu’s face. I
screamed.
It was a blur after that.

#32 Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

I felt someone waking me up, I was on the couch. I don’t remember arriving at the apartment.
Vanessa was already dressed. She gave me a glass of water.

“You must get ready for work”, she said. I was so lost, the rest of the girls weren’t there.
“Where’s everyone?” I asked.
“It’s Monday. Sihle is at school, Puleng and Vixen are at work”, she said. I watched Vanessa
moving up and down the apartment, what happened last night was replaying in my mind. I tried
to put the pieces together but I couldn’t.
“What happened last night?” I asked her.
“We had an amazing night. It was crazy!” She said enthusiastically.
“How crazy?” I wanted her to tell me everything that happened.
“Very”, she smiled.

I went to take a shower. I tried to remember everything but I couldn’t. I quickly went to look
myself in the bathroom mirror. I remembered the love bite I had on my neck, but it wasn’t there.
Maybe I was imagining things. Something happened between me and Vanessa, how can she
act like nothing happened? Or she was drunk? But her memory is great and I was more drunk
than her. I continued taking a shower.

After the shower I got dressed. When I was done, we left the apartment. Vanessa drove to work.

“You’re very quiet. You’ve been quite distant, what’s wrong?” She asked.
“I just want you to be straight up with me”, I said.
“Okay? I’ve been straight up with you, what’s up?” She raised her eyebrow.
“What really happened last night?”
“I think I told you, we had a crazy night”
“Give me details”
“We drank, danced, sang, stopped at the boys’ apartment and went home”
“What happened when we were at the boys’ apartment?”
“We played the 30 seconds game but the drunk edition. It was so fun!”
“And then what happened?”
“Tebogo dared you to kiss Ishmael. You were on fire last night!”
“And then what happened? Who did I kiss next?”
“Nobody. You’re asking me a million questions, is everything okay?”
“Please, be straight up with me”
“Excuse me? Have I not been straight up with you? Where is this coming from? If you hanged
out with Nosipho last night, I would have been sure she said something to you but you didn’t”
“There are things that happened last night that you’re not telling me”
“If you know so much then what’s the point of me even telling you?”
“So you agree you’re not telling me everything?”
“You’re putting words in my mouth. I told you everything you needed to know. You don’t expect
me to tell you our journey to the club too”
“I remember that. It’s after we left the club that’s a blur. But something happened between us.
We can’t act like nothing happened”
“It’s nothing though”
“Nothing? Are you kidding me?”
“You’re back to your old self now, how wonderful – not”
“What happened last night shouldn’t have happened”
“It was a mistake -”
“It’s the second time now! You denied it the first time”
“What are you talking about?”
“Don’t act like you don’t know”
“Yoliswa, my friend, I was talking about my bottle of wine you knocked off by mistake”
“Oh”
“What were you talking about?”
“It’s nothing”

I was embarrassed. The drive to the club was awkward, I was not feeling like myself. I don’t
know what was happening, if I was imagining things, why was Vanessa in the mix? Why not
anyone other than her?
We got to the club, Hakeem took over Rashidi’s position as the manager so he called a
meeting. I wasn’t even in the mood for a meeting or hear him talk. He said we didn’t respect the
rules of the club like there were rules in the first place. He passed around a paper with rules
written down. He said if we didn’t abide by the rules, we were going to get a strike. If we had
three strikes then we would get fired. He said he’s open to suggestions for themed parties.

”Anyone with a suggestion?” He asked. There was silence for a few seconds until a girl with
purple hair, her name was Dolly, raised her hand.
“We should have pyjama parties, that would be insane”, she said. Everyone bust out laughing.
“Did she tell a joke?” Hakeem was so serious.
“Come on Hakeem, we know you want to laugh. We would host pyjama parties if we were a
group of twelve year olds”, said Vanessa.
“Do you have a better suggestion?” Asked Hakeem.
“Yes. We can host foam parties”, she said. Everyone mumbled in agreement.
“Not bad”, Hakeem nodded his head. Vanessa slowly walked towards Hakeem, she fixed his tie
and said, “You might have created silly rules but at least you have more structure than Rashidi.
We’re going to rake in a lot of money.” I looked at Vixen, trying to catch her reaction. She didn’t
seem happy, I smiled to myself.
”Thank you Vanessa, now go back to your seat”, Hakeem pointed to her seat. He acted so
serious. I couldn’t believe how someone can share a table with us, drink with us then act all
mighty. I know he’s the manager and holds authority over us but he needs to stop acting like
this intimidating guy, clearly he’s not.
“Any other suggestions? If not, then on to the next thing. There will be different roles in the club.
There will be the maintenance team, the admins and the bartenders”, he said. We were baffled,
we looked at each other in confusion.
“What will the admins do?” Asked Vanessa. She was the only one who had the balls to question
authority.
“Think what do admins who work in the office do then think club”, he said.
“We’re going to answer the telephone?” Vanessa laughed. Everyone laughed.
“Admins will get to be in control of the poster design for our themed parties”, he said.
Everyone’s face started to change, who wouldn’t want to be an admin?
“I will interview you girls tomorrow so I can decide what team you belong to. This meeting is
dismissed”, he left.

The girls were excited all of a sudden. Vanessa was so sure she was going to be an admin.
I won’t lie, I also wanted to be an admin. A few minutes after the meeting ended, Vanessa and
Vixen disappeared. No one knew where they went. I got a message from Vanessa saying I
should come upstairs. I went upstairs and saw them drinking.

”Don’t be a wimp”, Vanessa handed me a bottle of Vodka.

“Come on. Lose yourself for a bit”, said Vixen.

I stared at the bottle.

”I have to be somewhere in the afternoon and I have to be sober”, I left the room.

#33 Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

A few minutes later, Vanessa and Vixen got out of the room. Vanessa went to sit next to me.
“You’re such a party pooper”, she said.
“I’d rather be a party pooper than not being able to walk straight the entire day”, I said.
“Look how I’m walking”, Vanessa catwalked across the room. “See? I’m walked straight. But I
still love you because you’re my best friend”, she hugged me.

In the afternoon a man wearing a tuxedo and white formal gloves entered the club. He was an
old man, he said he was looking for me. It dawned on me, he’s Mr Mbatha’s driver – his
chauffeur. I left the club, the girls watched me. Outside, a black limousine was parked. I’ve
never been on a limousine. It brought back childhood memories, when I dreamt of this day,
finally. I was so excited. The old man opened the door for me, he said they called him Madala.
No surprise there. There was an ice bucket and champagne, he said I can help myself. I only
poured myself a little. He didn’t speak much, he drove me to the shop.
When I got to the boutique, the people working there were so friendly. I felt like I was the first
lady. I fitted the dresses, it felt like I was playing dress up, something I dreamt of as a child. I
was so happy. It felt like I wore every dress there, finally, I found the dress for me. It hugged
every curve on my body, it was made for me. The whole boutique stopped and adored me.
I admired myself in the mirror, soon, the room was filled with familiar faces. I saw my friends
from back home, my family, my roommates, Metaphor, Hakeem, Nosipho, Thando and Richard.
They were seated, I noticed a red carpet, I walked on it, Mr Mbatha was waiting for me in a
tuxedo. The distance between me and him became longer, I couldn’t reach him. I finally gave. I
saw him kissing Vanessa on the cheeks, I was shocked.

“You look beautiful”, the employee said. I snapped out of the daydream.
“Thank you, I love it”, I smiled.

I got everything I needed, I asked Madala to drive me home instead of the club. I called
Vanessa and told her to stick up for me when Hakeem notices I’m not there.
Sihle was home, luckily she helped me with my hair while I told her about my ride to the
boutique.

“So what’s happening between you and this Mr? I never imagined you to be one of those girls”,
she said.
“One of those girls?” I asked.
“Yeah, like, those girls who like sugar daddies. I don’t blame you though, a girl’s gotta do what a
girl’s gotta do”
“I’m not those girls, Sihle”
“Then why would a grown man spend so much on a beautiful girl without wanting anything in
return?”
“I’m not dating him. If he wants something in return, that’s him. I’m not planning to sleep with
him”
“I’m just saying, no grown man spends so much on a beautiful girl without wanting anything in
return. If you don’t give him what he wants, he’ll toss you away like a bag of trash”
“What are you saying? I should give him what he wants?”
“Do you want to give him what he wants?”
“No”
“Then don’t. Stop leading him on. In his head, he thinks he’s got you because you’re accepting
his gifts”
“I do like his gifts. He treats me like a princess but I don’t want to sleep with him or be with him”
“If you don’t want him to start treating you like his property, stop this while it’s still early. You
don’t want him thinking he owns you just because he spends money on you”

This is why I love Sihle, she says it like it is. She never hypes me up. I always seek her advice.
She finished doing my hair, my hair looked great. I did my make-up, I took long because I
wanted it to be perfect. A few hours later, I was all dressed up. All the girls were there, Vanessa,
Puleng and Vixen were back from work. I got a call from Mr Mbatha aka Walter, he said his
driver was driving him to my apartment. I was really nervous because I don’t know if he was
going to like my outfit, he spent thousands on me.

“You look like you got out of those stylish magazines, you look beautiful”, said Vanessa. Her
approval made me even more confident.
“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do”, said Sihle.
“Don’t drink too much”, said Puleng. The girls were giving me all the advice I needed and didn’t
need.
“Thank you girls for your wise words”, I said. “I got this”, I said confidently.
There was a knock on the door, maybe that’s him, I thought. Sihle answered the door, there he
was looking good in his suit. He had a new haircut, he looked 10 years younger. I didn’t notice
he had a dimple on his left cheek. He had a bouquet of flowers in his hand.
“You look so beautiful”, he said eyeing me up and down. “Wow. You’re looking good. Wow”, he
was speechless. He gave me the flowers. I handed them to Puleng to put them in a vase. He
led me by hand to the limousine and opened the door for me. The girls watched me, it was like I
was going to a matrix ball. The driver played a slow jam. Walter poured me a glass of
champagne.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to concentrate with you looking like this”, he said.
“You’re also looking good”, I said.
“Thank you. Everyone will be looking at you. Every girl in there will envy you. I don’t blame
them. If I was a girl and I saw you, I’d turn lesbian”, he said. He rubbed my thigh. “I can’t even
get my hands off you”, he whispered. I was uncomfortable.

After a minutes we arrived. His house looked like a castle.

“Wow. Your house is so beautiful, it looks like a castle”, my jaw was on the floor.
“Fit for a king, now I’m looking for my queen”, he winked at me.

When we entered the house, there was press and a few guests, other people were on their way.
There were waiters and waitresses, they were serving people. Mr Sithole walked in with a
beautiful girl, she was tall, she looked like a model. She was his date for the night. What about
Vanessa?

“Hello Yoliswa. You’re looking good”, he said.

“Thanks”, I faked a smile.
“Yoliswa this is my friend, JoAnn, she’s a retired model and entrepreneur”, he introduced me to
this girl. I extended my hand for a handshake.

If this is how people will introduce their partners, I wonder what Walter will introduce me as. I
just work in the club, I don’t even have a title. I don’t have any money, the biggest thing I’ve
done in my life is gaining the courage to look for my mom in another city. That’s definitely not
something to brag about.
#34 Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

Thando and Nosipho entered the house, I was sitting alone. They walked towards me, I wasn’t
in the mood for Nosipho.
“Hey Yoliswa”, Thando greeted me with a smile. Nosipho just looked at me with a cold gaze.
“Hey Thando”, I smiled.
“You’re looking beautiful”, he said.
“Thank you, you’re looking handsome”, I said.
“I try. You know I didn’t know you knew my partner”, he said.
“I do, it’s recent actually”, I said.
“Where did you guys meet? I wouldn’t be surprised if you said the club”, said Nosipho.
“Where else would I possibly meet him? Definitely not in a dumpster posing as a restaurant”, I
said sarcastically.
“You’re probably his date because his girlfriend couldn’t make it. She’s an accountant, she’s a
busy woman anyway”, said Nosipho.
“Okay girls, stop it”, Thando tried to stop us but Nosipho was still going on.
“Tell your stupid friend, Vanessa to not mess with me again or else I will show her the sky”,
Nosipho’s eyes were filled with grim. “You too”, she said with an icey gaze. I just looked at her
and said nothing, she left.
“I thought you were much better than this. I guess you’re just like girls out there, into money that
you would date a man who’s one foot into the grave”, said Thando.
“Your cousin was one of those girls”, I said.
“There’s a huge difference between was and is”, he walked away.

I’m sure they planned it but I wasn’t bothered, I just came to have a good time. The charity
event finally started, there were seating arrangements. Thando and Nosipho were on the table I
was on, I felt like vomiting. Walter made a speech, photographers took pictures, journalists took
notes and recorded audio. There was a small camera crew, they were taping. I was surprised
how massive it turned out.
Hours later, we were served food. That was after items were sold and the money donated to
charity. The total donation was R1.2m, Walter announced he will add a quarter of a million,
everyone gave him a standing ovation. Everything felt feigned, he was generous and his friends
and people who donated are generous but the lengths he went through are questionable. It all
screams ‘look at me’, maybe it’s a tactic to win the community’s hearts.
Walter kissed me on the cheek, there were just too many flashes. I was overwhelmed, Vanessa
is suitable for these sort of things, not me. I was interviewed by multiple journalists. Most were
curious with what’s going on between me and Walter, it was awkward. I was relieved that the
interviews were over. Metaphor served me food, I was surprised to see him there, last time I
checked, he was working in the book shop. I know we have not been talking to each other but
that moment, I broke my silence.

“What are you doing here?” I whispered.

“Are you talking to me?” He asked.
“Duh!” I rolled my eyes.
“Your boyfriend, or whatever he is to you, gave me an opportunity to make a few rands for the
night. I will answer to him, do everything to make him happy, even if it is to be your slave for
tonight. Now don’t think because you spoke to me, I should do the same. Just because you’re
on speaking terms with me, doesn’t mean I should be. That’s one thing, I don’t owe you. That’s
the only power I have in this uniform tonight”, Metaphor put the plate in front of me and left.
Walter whispered that I follow him to his bedroom, he has a surprise for me. I did as he
instructed. We went to his bedroom. It was huge, it looked like my apartment with the girls.

“Make yourself comfortable”, he said. I sat on his bed, he opened his wardrobe. He took out a
box, it was a present – because it was wrapped. I thought, he did so much for me, what would
this possibly be?
“This is for you”, he handed me the box and sat next to me. I opened the box, he watched me.
When I opened the present, I saw lingerie.
“This is beautiful”, I hugged him.
“It’s not just any lingerie, it’s Agent Provocateur”, he said. It was my first time hearing of that
brand, it sounded really expensive. “Maybe tonight you can try it on when everyone leaves”, he
came closer.
“I’m not too sure about that”, I said.
“You’re shy?” He asked.
“Uhm … Yes”, I lied.
“Don’t be”, he caressed my thigh.
“What about your girlfriend who’s an accountant?” I asked.
“She’s not my girlfriend, she’s my half-sister. Who told you she was my girlfriend?” He asked.
“Thando”, I looked down.
“He’s stupid. He knows Anele is my half-sister. Look at me, what’s wrong?” He asked.
“Mentioning Thando’s name makes me remember what happened before the event started”, I
said.
“What happened?” Walter was concerned.
“Thando and his cousin were ganging up on me. He watched his cousin degrade me and
threaten me”, I cried. Walter consoled me. He said I should stay in the bedroom. He rushed out.
I sat alone, laughing to myself. I walked to the mirror and admired myself, how much of a great,
convincing actress I am.

Walter came back, I acted sad.

“I dealt with it”, he hugged me.
“What did you do?” I asked.
“I confronted them, his cousin showed no remorse, so I had her thrown out, Thando then
followed her”, he said. Inside I was saying, checkmate.
“Maybe you can try this on for me next time”, he smiled. He rubbed my thigh, “I hope I don’t
make you uncomfortable when I do this, I’m a very touchy person but only to people I like – a
lot”, he said. I just found him so attractive. What he did for me, melted my heart. I leaned over
and gave him a kiss. His lips were so soft.

“Be mine”, he whispered.

“Yes”, I whispered.

We kissed again, it felt so good. We eventually left the bedroom. The charity event was a
success, the journalists said we must get a copy of their newspapers the next day. Walter drove
me home and watched me get inside. The girls wanted to know what happened, I told them
everything. They playfully mocked me and called me Mrs Mbatha. I got some private time with
Vanessa.

“Congratulations, friend”, she said.

“Thank you”, I smiled.
“You’re even glowing. Tell me, was Mr S there?” She asked. There was no use in my lying to
her, she was gonna hear the truth eventually.
“Yeah, he was there with some skinny bitch. I wanted to give her my plate”, I said.
“Did he introduce her to you?” She asked.
“Yeah”
“What did he introduce her as?”
“A friend”
“I don’t buy it. She’s probably one of his girlfriends”
“You’re more pretty than her anyway”
“I don’t know her but she doesn’t pose a threat to me”
“She was so skinny, my friend”
“If I see her, I’m going to invite her out for lunch”
“She needs it”
“But Nosipho’s got the nerve! When you were telling us what she said, I just wanted to strangle
her. I wish I was there to wave her goodbye when they threw her out”

We got ready to hit the club, it was going to be a buck wild night, just like every other night we
are out.

#35 Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

When we got to the club, Hakeem told us that he wants us to be at work tomorrow at 7:30am, if
we valued our work, we should be there at that time. He looked so serious, I was happy that he
wasn’t going to be in the club, at last Vixen won’t be his clutch bag. She can finally dance with
us!
I didn’t want to drink that much because tomorrow was an important day at work, Hakeem was
going to interview us. Vanessa got us shots, we don’t spend our own money in the club.
Vanessa always says girls make the clubs, men go to the club to see us and try outdo one
another by spending as much as they can on us also trying to gain a reputation. Mr Sithole
entered the club with two other guys I haven’t seen before and the girl I saw at the party.

“This man has got the nerve”, Vanessa gulped her drink. Mr Sithole just walked past us like he
doesn’t know us with his skinny ‘friend’.
“This man is messing with the wrong girl. Yoliswa, I need to speak to you privately”, Vanessa
stood up, I followed her. We got out via the back door.
“Did you see how he walked past us like he’s never seen us before?” She asked furiously.
“I saw him”, I said.
“He doesn’t know me”, she paced up and down.
“You know what I think you should do? I think you should just leave him alone, he doesn’t
deserve you”, I said.
“That’s your advice? Wow. That’s the most stupid thing I’ve heard today after Hakeem’s rules, of
course”, she said.
“You can’t make him want you if he doesn’t. He walked in with the same girl he took to the
charity event, don’t you think if he wanted you, you would be the girl he took to the event and
upstairs?” At this point I was irritated.
“So that’s the bitch he took to the charity event? I’m gonna go upstairs and see what she’s
about”
“Are you sure you want to go through all that trouble for a man who walked past you like you’re
invisible?”
“Don’t make it sound like that, please. I know what I’m doing”
“I just don’t want you to get hurt because he really doesn’t care”
“I’ve never fucked a guy who wants nothing to do with me, correction”
“What? When?”
“When I went to that ‘business meeting’, he enjoyed it. He told me nobody does it like me”
“Wow. That was fast”
“I don’t waste time and I’m going upstairs right now, there’s nothing you can say that will
change my mind. You can go back to the girls, listen to Vixen talk about Hakeem, Sihle talking
about feminism and Puleng whining about how her tummy is”

Vanessa left me there, I just stood there confused. I just shook my head and went inside. This
night was different from other nights, it wasn’t as crazy, it was more laid back. Sihle wanted to
talk to me in private.

“You know, I’m not a judgemental person but I have to say, I’m surprised how you handled the
situation with this old guy. I can’t believe you let me give you advice like you were gonna use it.
You wasted my time, I won’t lie. I’m not buying the he’s-a-nice-guy, you’re not with him because
of that. You know he’s rich, you’re after his money. I’m disappointed in you”, she ranted. She
was a bit tipsy.
“This is funny because back in the apartment, you were cheering me on, now you have alcohol
in your system, you’re calling me out. Seriously? His name is Walter not old guy. Yeah, he has
money but I’m not after it. He actually motivates me to work even harder. He’s a gentle guy, you
don’t know him”, I said.
“Neither do you. It hasn’t even been a week and you think you know him like the back of your
palm? You don’t know how he acts when he’s mad, you don’t know if he’s married or there are a
lot of yous out there or if he has kids. You don’t know him that well”, she said.
“Are you jealous of me? Because it seems like you are”
“Yoliswa why would I be jealous of you?”
“Because no one spends thousands on you”
“This is ridiculous! I don’t envy you, it’s not even your money”
“You should drop this holy attitude of yours!”
“This is who I am!”
“This is who I am too. You’re saying you’re not a judgemental person but judge people every
chance you get. I don’t even wanna carry on now”

I angrily walked away. I wanted to leave the club.

I went to get Vanessa upstairs, she was taking too long now. When I went upstairs, I was told
Vanessa left a long time ago. I tried calling her, the call went straight to voicemail. I texted her.
The girls left the club, I told them to leave me behind. I was starting to get worried. I asked a few
employees if they saw her around, I used the info to trace her. One scared me when he said
she left with a white man. I went to check the rooms. I still didn’t find her. Defeated, I walked
outside.
I saw a girl that looked like Vanessa in Hakeem’s car, I only saw the side of her face. I hid,
Hakeem kissed this girl, she got out and it wasn’t Vanessa. I felt someone’s hand on my
shoulder and I jumped, it was Vanessa.

“Who are you hiding from?” She asked.

“No one. I was looking all over for you. I called and texted you”, I said.
“My battery died. The girls left?” She asked.
“Yeah. Tonight wasn’t a good night. My day went from good to horrible. Me and Sihle had an
argument. I’m moving out again”
“Why did you move in again in the first place? Puleng is a sweetheart, she’ll move in with Sihle”
“People who use alcohol to build their courage to talk to someone are cowards. Sihle is a
coward”
“Let’s go home, my friend”
“Where were you?”
“Outside”
“What happened upstairs?”
“Nothing you should worry yourself about. I’m tired and I wanna pass out in my bed”

A cab took us home.

The girls were already asleep, Puleng opened for us. We went to sleep, tomorrow was going to
be a big day at work. I’m anxious but confident about the interview.

#36 Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

We woke up early in the morning, I didn’t have much sleep. I don’t think anyone did. Everyone
was looking at their reflection in the mirror, busy doing make-up. There was silence, I was
thinking about the argument I had with Sihle and the interview. Vanessa asked Puleng if she
doesn’t mind that I switch beds with her, she kindly no. She moved her stuff to Sihle’s bedroom.
I told her that I will take her out for lunch one of these days.
My phone rang, it was Walter.

“Hello”, I smiled like a fool.

“Good morning my sweetheart. Did you sleep well?” He asked.
“Yes, and you?” I only slept for a few hours, totally not good.
“I slept like a baby. Are you free later today?”
“Uhm … I really don’t know”
“You don’t know? Please call me when you have an idea. Would you like transport for work?”
“I would love it”
“I will alert my driver. What time?”
“We have to be at work at 7am. Maybe 6:45. It’s me and my friends”
“Okay, I’ll tell my driver. Have a nice day, sweetheart”
“You too”
“Walter’s driver will drive us to work girls”, I said cheerfully.
“But we take my car to work”, said Vanessa.
“I know but it’s not every day that we have a chauffeur”, I said.
“Yoliswa is right”, Vixen backed me up.
“I guess so”, Vanessa shrugged and carried on applying make-up.
“I want the girls to see us when we pull up in a very expensive looking car”, I said. I caught
Vanessa wrinkling her eyebrows. “What’s wrong?” I asked.
“I just feel like you’re overreacting. I have a beautiful, expensive car too and the reaction we’ll
get won’t be any different from the one we always get when I pull up”, she said. Sihle giggled.
“Can I help you?” I asked Sihle.
“Yeah, how about you calm down? Have you never travelled in a car before?” She shook her
head.
“I have, better cars than you’ll ever be in”, I said.
“When will you be in your own car?” She asked.
“Soon”, I went to the kitchen.
“Oh, so he promised you a car in return to getting his old dick sucked by a young beautiful girl?”
She asked.
“What part of your body hurts? Why are you being mean to me?”
“You’re not the victim, Yoliswa! You also said some mean things to me”
“All because I didn’t listen to your advice? Grow up!”
“It’s more than that, you’re turning into someone I don’t like”
“If you have a problem with who I am now, chances are you always had a problem with me but
you’re just a good actress”
“Stop trying to be someone you’re not”
“It’s funny how you know me more than I know myself. It’s really funny!”
“You’re such a mini Vanessa!”
“Oh shut up, Michelle Williams!”
“You can call me Michelle all you want, Yoliswa. You’re not even the Beyonce of your friends”
“Shut up, Michelle!”
“Is that supposed to hurt my feelings? Okay, I’m really hurt that you called me Michelle. Are you
happy now?”
“I’ll be happy when you leave this apartment for good”
“I lived here before you. I think you should leave this apartment, go live with your sugar daddy”
“Give me your father’s number instead”
“All this time you’ve been hiding your thirst for older men and you think I’m crazy when I say
you’re trying hard to be someone you’re not”
“Okay you two, we’ve heard enough”, Vanessa said angrily. “How old are we? Really, how old
are we? I have a headache, I’m not in a good mood, I slept for 3 hours and it’s early in the
morning. Are you, friends and roommates seriously fighting because of a man? Sihle, it’s not
you to run your mouth like that. You’re for women, you always preach togetherness. Yoliswa,
you need to seriously calm down. Don’t act like he’s your first boyfriend”, Vanessa gave us a
mouthful.
There was silence, we heard a car horn. We got out, me, Vanessa and Vixen. I had a feeling my
day wasn’t going to go well. The ride to the club was really silent. I caught glimpse of Madala
looking at me.

“I see you girls are not morning people”, said Madala.

“Horrible morning”, I muttered.
“We do have horrible mornings and days but at least we’re alive to tell the story. Many didn’t
make it to a new day, be grateful you’re alive”, he said. I smiled.
“Thanks for sharing that”, I said.
“Pass it to the next person, hopefully they pass it to another. Then it becomes a never ending
cycle. Just to remind people they’re alive, life is precious and we take it for granted”, he said. He
reminded me so much of my grandmother.
“Wow. Thank you”, I smiled.
“That’s what I wanted to see. You’re welcome”, he said.

We finally got to the club, he gave me a card and said Walter said I should call whenever I
wanted to be picked up. I checked the time, we arrived a minute before 7am. Just on time. The
girls were dressed very professional, I was surprised, they took it serious. I know everyone is
probably hoping to be admin.
We waited for 7:30am, I listened to the girls go on about what they did the previous night and
the interview. Then out of the blue, 6 guys appeared. They said they were there for the
interview, we were all surprised. Hakeem was really taking this changing-things-around-here
seriously. We didn’t have any male workers, I guess it was good for the business. We were a
total of 12 girls.
It was finally time for the interviews, Hakeem called one girl that was close to his office. The girls
changed their sitting arrangements, some weren’t ready to be interviewed. I just sat in my seat, I
was sitting next to Vanessa, she wasn’t herself, I was worried.

“You know, what Madala said in the car – “, Vanessa interrupted me.
“I’m not interested. And life isn’t that simple”, she said.
“You’ve been acting weird since last night. Does this have anything to do with Mr Sithole?” I
asked.
“No”, she muttered. She looked around then came closer and whispered, “Richard said the body
is in the boat”
“What? I thought he got rid of it”, I whispered.
“Apparently the guy he paid to get rid of the body has been blackmailing him. He’s coming back
to ‘deal’ with the man”, she said.
“I don’t like this one bit”, I said.
“He wants us to get to know the guy, he says it’s the only way we can get to the body. I also
don’t like this”, she said.
“Where does this guy live?” I asked.
“Around Jozi. He gave me his address. This is stressing me but if we have to do this to clean
our tracks, why not? We just have to be, you know, strong and here for one another”, she said.
“Yes”, I held her hand, she smiled.

I took a deep breathe, I needed to be strong not only for myself but Vanessa as well. I waited for
my turn anxiously.

#37 Confessions Of A Xhosa Girl 2

I was lost in my own world, I forgot I was sitting, waiting for an interview. In no time, it was my
turn. I walked to Hakeem’s office, closed the door and took a seat.

“You even sat before I could say sit”, he said.

“Do you want me to stand up?” I asked.
“Yes”, he said nonchalantly. I thought he was joking, then realised he wasn’t. I stood up.
“You may take a seat”, he smiled.
“Do I have to remain silent until you tell me to talk?” I asked.
“Are you trying to be funny? Is this a joke to you?”
“Not at all, I -”
“Shut up! I’m your boss, I deserve to be treated with respect, do you understand?”
“Yes”
“Good. Tell me about yourself”
“What do you want to know?”
“I said tell me about yourself, you have 5 minutes to sell yourself”
“I’m originally from East London. I was raised by my grandmother, I have a younger brother,
cousin -”
“You’re boring me. Tell me about your abilities, education and your role model”
 “I’m a fast learner, I’m computer literate, creative, I have good people skills, I can work
efficiently with a group, I have matric, I passed with a Bachelor’s Degree and my role model is
my grandmother. She inspires me to be a better person, we grew up without much but she
made us feel like we had everything. Her love filled the house, it made it warm -”
“Thank you. Tell me about what job you would like”
“I’d like to be an admin”
“Hmm. Everyone wants to be an admin, why should you be one?”
“Because I believe I have the necessary skills to be one”
“What necessary skills?”
“I’m creative -”
“Everyone is creative”
“You didn’t let me finish”
“Go on”
“And the club won’t spend much money paying for outside people to make posters”
“Money isn’t a problem”
“But it still needs to be saved. I can teach the girls”
“How do you know they’re not good with computers like you or even better than you?”
“I work with these girls everyday. They always come to me for help”
“Your 5 minutes is almost up. Any final words?”
“If you make me one of the admins, I promise to work my butt off. I will utilise my skills to -”
“Time’s up. Call the next person”
“Just like that?”
“Time’s up”
“Okay, have a nice day”
“You too, Yoliswa”

I left Hakeem’s office feeling uncertain, Vanessa was the next person up, I wished her luck. My
head was spinning. The thought of Jabu’s body coming back to haunt me, I thought I passed
that stage. I went to the bathroom to vomit. I locked myself in one of the stalls and cried. I heard
voices, I kept quiet.
“Vanessa says this works and she tried it on someone”, I heard a girl talking to another. I
couldn’t quite figure who, I don’t know everyone to the point of distinguishing their voices.
“She’s gonna make big bucks with these babies”, one girl added. They were in the bathroom for
a few minutes then left, I waited a few minutes then left too.

5 hours later.

Everyone was waiting for the results, Hakeem said he will put up the results on the wall. The
girls nervously waited for the results. Hakeem put up the results and everyone ran to check their
names. I waited for the region to clear up. Vanessa came back saying she got the admin job,
Vixen too. Well, Vixen only got that job because she’s Hakeem’s girlfriend. I went to check my
name and I got the bartender job, I couldn’t believe my eyes, not even maintenance. Hakeem
went to join us, they clapped for him, I just folded my arms.

“As you can see, there are a few guys with us. They work here now. I will call the names of
those in charge of these respective jobs. Steven you’re in charge of the admins, Jason you’re in
charge of maintenance and Robbie you’re in charge of the bartenders”, he said.

We looked at each other.

“How is this possible?” I looked at Vanessa in astonished.

“Yoliswa, you look like you have something to say”, said Hakeem.
“No, I don’t”, I said.
“Come on, stand up. Share what you just said to Vanessa”, he said.
“Well, I said how is this possible”, I said.
“What?” He asked.
“That people we don’t even know are in charge”, I said.
“Who’s the boss here?” He asked.
“Martin”, Vanessa stood up.
“Where is he?” He asked.
“Obviously not here because he put you in charge”, said Vanessa.
“Yes, I’m in charge. I’m the boss around here. I make the decisions. I appointed you and I can
fire you”, he said boasted. Vanessa sat down with a smirk, I sat down.
“Did I tell you to sit down?” He asked me.
“No”, I said.
“Remain standing”, he said. He continued talking to everyone, while I stood up. I felt controlled
and humiliated. I don’t know what I did to this man. He finally dismissed everyone, he said
everyone can go home, the time was 14:00. He still demanded me to remain on that same spot,
Vanessa got out and came back again.
“Are you enjoying this power? Is this a power trip?” She asked Hakeem.
“This has nothing to do with power but everything to do with respect”, he said.
“What bad did she do to deserve this humiliation? Why are you being mean to her? She used to
be your friend”, said Vanessa.
“Is this supposed to make me guilty? People now know not to mess with me. People will look at
her and say, I don’t want to be in her position therefore, I won’t do anything that will put me in
that position”, he said.
“Being with someone else is disrespectful to you?” I finally found my voice. “I watched you every
night dancing with her, your eyes always fixed to mine. Even when I wasn’t watching I felt you
looking at me. I liked it, I know you did to. The thought of someone liking you from a distance yet
intimate every time our eyes locked. Now I like someone else, you can’t bare the thought of me
liking someone else because I won’t look at you the same way. Now I’m disrespectful because I
chose someone else. You can call me a gold digger, a bitch and every word there is to make
me feel small, I don’t care”, I cried.

Hakeem didn’t say anything, he just left. Vanessa comforted me. I called Walter and told him, I
plan on having lunch with him, he was happy to hear that. Vanessa took a cab home, I called
Madala. Walter said he’s heading to La Concuna, Madala drove there. When I got there, no one
but Walter was there. I smiled.

#1 Who Killed Majola?

“Majola Dlanga is a 45 year old man, married to his second wife, Michelle Johnson a 25 year old
woman. Michelle is a beautiful mixed race woman, her mother is black (zulu) and her father is
white.
Majola owns a law firm, he met his second wife, Michelle there. Majola’s first wife, Nomzamo
Bethela a 40 year woman with three children: The twins [Athenkosi(17) Athabile(17) and
Yonela(13)].
Nomzamo was heartbroken when Majola left her for a younger woman.
Majola has many enemies, his eyebrow raising millions he makes every year makes him a
target. When Majola divorced Nomzamo, Patrick decided to go after her. Months later
Nomzamo and Patrick were dating.
 Patrick didn’t like Majola that much, they were cousins. There’s always been competition
between the two but Majola always came up tops.
Athenkosi plays soccer. One day, Majola and Michelle went to watch his semi-final game
against another school. Athenkosi didn’t like the fact his father always drags Michelle into their
lives.
Majola also has an older son outside marriage, Bongani. He is 21 years old and he gets along
with his dad quite well compared to his other half siblings. Bongani even moved in with his
father. Majola gave Bongani permission to invite his girlfriend, Tshidi to move in. Tshidi is a
good baker, her dream was to open her own shop where she can sell her cakes, cupcakes and
muffins. Majola made that dream come true, he bought a small shop for her.
Athabile recently started dating a coloured guy, Marcus. When Majola heard that his daughter
is dating, he didn’t like the idea. He thinks no one is good enough for his daughter.
Majola’s former best friend, Edward is one of the many targeting Majola. He is jealous of him
and he wants Majola to disappear, he once joked, “My birthday wish is for Majola to disappear”.
He said that joke in front of the staff he works with after they surprised him with a birthday cake
on his 41st.
Majola’s long time best friend, Charlie. They went to high school together. It was rumoured that
Charlie once had an affair with Majola’s first wife, Nomzamo. He denied those rumours stating,
“Nomzamo is like my younger sister, I love her that much”. Charlie was an alcoholic and a
gambler. His relationships don’t work, he has a failed 2 year marriage. Majola hired Charlie in
his firm but due to his drinking habit, he didn’t rise to the occasion most of the time. Putting
friendship aside, Majola decided to fire Charlie. Sources say that Charlie was acting like a
maniac when he was fired, even security guards were called to escort him out of the building.
When Charlie was asked about the way he supposedly acted when he was fired Charlie said, “I
took my stuff and left with my head held up high. I didn’t act crazy, that building is full of liars. I
don’t blame them though, their profession allows them to do so”.”

Emily Tontho let out an exhausted sigh after reading a mini background report wrote by one of
the department’s private investigators, Lorenzo Van Wyk. Emily is a 26-year-old rookie who just
got her first major investigation case. She was thrilled, this is what she always dreamed of.
Finally, the years spent writing essays of 5000 words and learning about criminology in
university will come in handy.
Emily was in her office daydreaming when a knock interrupted her daydream. It was Lorenzo
Van Wyk, he had two coffees in hand.
Lorenzo: I went to the cafeteria and came back with these (he hands Emily the hot coffee) be
careful it’s hot.
Emily: (she places the coffee aside) Thanks mate. I read your report and there are many red
flags.
Lorenzo: Who do you suspect of murder?
Emily: Everyone. Everyone close to Majola is a suspect at this point.
Lorenzo: It’s really sad what people do for money.
Emily: (sips coffee) Money is the root of all evil.
Lorenzo: Yeah, you can say that again. What are you doing today? Are you going back to the
crime scene or what?
Emily: After this coffee, I have to go back to the crime scene. Yesterday I managed to talk to a
few neighbours, I need to speak to more neighbours. A man across the street was a tough
cookie, he didn’t want to say anything. I could see in his eyes that he was hiding something but
I’m going to knock on his door today, I might as well be a nuisance until he spills the beans.
Lorenzo: Good luck with that, I’m going to interview the Westside guy for the online crime show.
Emily: Oh yeah, the guy that witnessed the bank robbery?
Lorenzo: Yeah (looks at his wrist watch) I think it’s time for me to get moving. Andy hates it
when I’m late, good luck with the case.
Emily: Thanks.
Lorenzo: I’ll tell you when the episode is online, okay?
Emily: Please do.
Lorenzo: Bye.

Lorenzo left Emily’s office. Emily read the background report again.

She didn’t finish her coffee, she quickly rushed to her car outside. The reception was full of
policemen and policewomen, Emily smiled. Everyone likes Asakhe’s baking. Many hands dug
into the tupperware that was full of muffins. Emily went out, she got into her car, just when she
was starting her car, Vusi ran to her. Vusi worked in the laboratory, he had a file in his hand and
his other hand was holding a bitten muffin.

Vusi: Hey, excuse me (he swallowed the muffin) sorry about that.
Emily: Everyone loves Asakhe’s baking, you even got into the craze.
Vusi: (laughs) She’s the best baker we have in the station. So…I should give you this (hands
her a file) this contains everything we found on the crime scene but my men are still doing the
digging right now. I was going to meet them a bit later and…(checks wrist watch) damn it!
Emily: You’re late?
Vusi: Yeah, yeah – I have to get going right now.
Emily: You wouldn’t be late if you didn’t spend your time overdosing on Asakhe’s muffins.
Vusi: Let me get going. I can’t help it, alright? She’s a great baker.
Emily: (shakes head)
Emily drove away, she made her way to the crime scene.

The suburb was at a stand still. The atmosphere was heavy. Majola’s death took a toll on the
suburb. Emily got out of her car and she went to knock on the neighbour that lived across
Majola’s house. She knocked for a long time before the neighbour opened the door. The
neighbour, Mr Jennings looked like a strict man. He had large thick glasses with brown frames,
he had a thick mustache, he had thick eyebrows, his ears were pointy, his cheeks were red, his
hair was blonde and curly. He was wearing a blue shirt, black pants and big black construction
boots.

Mr Jennings: You…you again? What do you want this time?

Emily: I want to know the truth.
Mr Jennings: What truth? I told you everything.
Emily: Holding information from the police is a serious crime Mr Jennings.
Mr Jennings: I didn’t kill that man.
Emily: Let’s not jump into conclusions, shall we?

A woman’s voice in the house asked, “Patrick who are you talking to?” Mr Jennings replied
hesitantly, “Nobody honey”.

Emily: Do you want this the hard way or easy way.

Mr Jennings: Am I the only person living in this area? Why don’t you ask other neighbours? Ask
bloody Miss Kitty or Mr Lamar or Mr…uh…yes Mr Lewis, yes him – he…he…he had a fight with
old chap Majola.
Emily: Really?
Mr Jennings: Yes.
Emily: Thank you for the tip but I want to speak to you now.

A woman appeared.

Mr Jennings: Go inside Paula, she was about to leave.

Paula: Why didn’t you tell me you were speaking to the police? Welcome madam, come inside.
Emily came inside. Paula made her tea and gave her some biscuits, Emily didn’t want to reject
Paula’s offer because she was so excited. Mr Jennings went to the bathroom.

Paula: Don’t mind him, he’s just a stubborn man. I’m Paula Jennings, who are you?
Emily: I’m Emily Tontho, a detective. I came to investigate on the Majola case.
Paula: Poor Majola, he was a good man. Emily: How well did you know him?
Paula: Not that well, me and Patrick moved here six months ago.
Emily: Oh?
Paula: Yes, sorry for being over excited, we don’t get visitors much often.
Emily: Don’t be sorry. Why didn’t Mr Jennings just tell me that he’s still a newby?
Paula: As I said, my husband is a stubborn man.
Emily: Did you witness the fight between Mr Lewis and Majola?

Mr Jennings came out of the bathroom.

Mr Jennings: Paula was asleep, she didn’t witness the fight. If that’s all, please close the door
on your out.
Paula: He’s just being silly, you can stay here as long as you want.
Emily: Where does Mr Lewis stay?
Paula: Mr Lewis stays –
Mr Jennings: The third house from Majola’s house
Emily: Okay, thank you Paula and…Mr Jennings.
Paula: You’re welcome. It’s looking like a movie outside, the whole crime scene thing. I only
see it on tv.
Emily: Goodbye Mr and Mrs Jennings.
Paula: Detective, you only had one sip of tea and one bite of these delicious biscuits.
Emily: I have to go and do my job, I would love to stay longer but I can’t.
Mr Jennings: Let her go Paula.
Emily: But I won’t promise this is the last time you see me.
Emily went straight to Mr Lewis’ house. She knocked and a girl opened the door. She looked
shocked to see Emily.

Girl: Please don’t arrest me and my family.

Emily: (laughs) I won’t if you promise you’re not involved in the crime.
Girl: No (shakes head repeatedly)
Emily: Any grown ups at home?
Girl: My papa is in the bathroom and my granny is sleeping.
Emily: Oh, okay – I can wait for them.
Girl: Come inside.
Emily: Thank you

Emily entered Mr Lewis’ house. It was a large house. The enthusiastic girl led Emily to the
lounge.

Emily: I’ll wait for Mr Lewis (she looks around)

Girl: Are you going to arrest my papa?
Emily: If your papa wasn’t involved in the crime then I won’t arrest him.
Girl: My papa told me that the police arrest bad people. My…my papa is not a bad man.
Emily: As long as he’s not bad, I’m happy.
Girl: What’s that? (points at Emily’s jean pocket that had a recorder peeking)
Emily: Oh, this is just a recorder.
Girl: What’s a recorder?
Emily: A recorder is a device that records anything. I record conversations.
Girl: Okay

Mr Lewis came out of the bathroom.

Mr Lewis: I heard voices

Emily: (stands up) I’m Emily Tontho – I’m a detective –
Mr Lewis: (interrupts) The Majola case?
Emily: Yes sir
Mr Lewis: Call me Lewis. Betty go to your room. Sit down, please.
Emily: (takes a seat) I came to ask you a few questions.
Mr Lewis: Okay

Mr Lewis was an old man. He was bald, his skin was pale. He was wearing glasses, he had
bright blue eyes. He was wearing a blue and white stripped golf t-shirt, white shorts and
sandals. He looked like a harmless man.

Emily: I heard that you had an argument with Majola before he was murdered.
Mr Lewis: We sorted everything out, we were civil with each other.
Emily: What caused the fight?
Mr Lewis: My daughter, Betty’s mother recently got divorced. She hired one of the lawyers at
Majola’s firm but Majola fired the guy. This lawyer didn’t tell my daughter that he was fired. My
daughter payed this man a huge chunk of money. I confronted Majola when I found out. It was
wrong to do so but at that time it felt right. I didn’t understand why Majola didn’t transfer this
guy’s customers to another lawyer, I thought it was very amateur, you understand?
Emily: Who’s this lawyer?
Mr Lewis: Frederick Smith
Emily: Okay. Did your daughter get her money back from this lawyer? What happened?
Mr Lewis: Majola blacklisted this man, she didn’t get her money back but she got another
lawyer.
Emily: Alright, before I came here I visited Mr Jennings. Are you familiar with him?
Mr Lewis: Ah, no. He doesn’t say much, he doesn’t have friends in this area at all. It’s not
healthy, you see? He shuts everyone down. Why do you ask?
Emily: I was just asking, that’s part of my job. The last time you saw Majola, how was his
mood?
Mr Lewis: He was happy. I was surprised when I heard the news of his passing.
Emily: Did you notice anything out of the ordinary the day he was murdered? Mr Lewis: Not at
all.
Emily: Did you hear any gunshots?
Mr Lewis: No.
Emily: No? Okay.
Mr Lewis: Is that all?
Emily: For now, yes.
Mr Lewis: Alright, enjoy your day.

Emily left Mr Lewis’ house. She went to Majola’s house, the police were everywhere. Michelle
was doing an interview with the news reporter, there were journalists everywhere. Majola was a
well known man in Sunnyside. Majola’s son, Bongani was sitting in the lounge.

Emily: Your father didn’t deserve to die like that.

Bongani: (takes a deep breath) I know
Emily: Where’s your girlfriend?
Bongani: She’s at her parents’ house.
Emily: I’m Emily Tontho, I’m a detective and it’s my responsibility to find the killer or killers. I
believe you called the police?
Bongani: Yeah, I called the police.
Emily: Where were you?
Bongani: I was at my girl’s small bakery shop, I was helping her. When I got back, I…saw him
covered in blood.
Emily: When you left the house, where was your dad?
Bongani: My dad wasn’t home.
Emily: Where was Michelle?
Bongani: Michelle also came through, she came to help us in the shop.
Emily: Does she usually help around the shop?
Bongani: Not that much, she helps when she wishes.
Emily: Did you all leave at the same time?
Bongani: She left before us, she first went to do some shopping and then she came to the
shop, she had shopping bags.
Emily: Who was the last person your dad had an argument with?
Bongani: I don’t know, I’m afraid I can’t answer that.
Emily: Do your half siblings visit much often?
Bongani: Yonela and Athabile visit much often but Athenkosi doesn’t visit that much, he hates
Michelle and myself. Lord knows why.
 Emily: You said Michelle helps around the bakery shop when she wishes. Why was this day
different?
Bongani: She helps occasionally not all the time.
Emily: I could imagine a woman like Michelle doesn’t have time to wear an apron, cover her
designer clothes, humble herself and take orders from people.
Bongani: You don’t know her, she’s quite a humble person.

Michelle entered the house.

Michelle: Detective Tontho, what are you doing in this house at a time of mourning?

Michelle was a mixed race woman. She had a nice curvy body, she looked stylish. She was
strikingly beautiful, she had big curly hair. No wonder Majola fell for her.

Michelle: We’re mourning the death of a husband, a father, a friend and a great man. Majola
was a great man, may his soul rest in peace. He didn’t deserve to die like an animal.
Emily: I would love to ask you a few questions.
Michelle: Follow me.

Emily followed Michelle. Majola’s house was so big, it looked like a castle. They passed many
rooms until Michelle entered a cosy study room. She sat in a chair, Emily also grabbed a seat.

Michelle: This is my late husband’s study room. He worked long hours here, he was such a
workaholic.
Emily: Bongani told me that you were the first to leave the house yesterday.
Michelle: I had to rush to the mall, I was meant to meet my husband for a lovely lunch later that
day.
Emily: At what time?
Michelle: At 3 ‘o clock.
Emily: You also went to help around the bakery shop.
Michelle: Yes –
Emily: (interrupts) I imagined a woman like you would come straight home and try the outfits you
bought, rather than being a cashier at a bakery shop or doing whatever you were doing there.
 Michelle: (smiles) I love to help around the bakery shop. Did Bongani tell you that the whole
family like to help around the bakery? Me, Majola, Bongani, Athabile and Yoliswa.
Emily: That’s a great bonding session. I just can’t keep my mind off yesterday though. (Looks at
Michelle’s shoes) Working in six inch stilettos is fun, huh?
Michelle: Much comfortable than those shoes you’re wearing.
Emily: So Athabile and Yoliswa are always around?
Michelle: Yeah, Majola really love his girls. Athabile is his favourite child, maybe because she’s
an A student and she’s really interested in studying law. All Majola wanted was his children to
take over his legacy and run the firm after he’s gone. That came early, too early (wipes tears
with a tissue) his kids didn’t want anything to do with law, Athabile was the only kid interested in
law. She wants to be a lawyer when she grows up.
Emily: Athabile was daddy’s girl?
Michelle: Yeah, she’s a sweet girl. Majola didn’t like it when she started dating, in my opinion
she’s old enough.
Emily: I’m guessing that broke some connection links between father and daughter?
Michelle: A bit – actually a lot because I just realised that it’s been a week since she visited.
Emily: I heard that you and Majola’s ex wife don’t get along and also his son, Athenkosi doesn’t
fancy you.
Michelle: I tried being civil with that woman, she’s just jealous of me. Can you believe she told
her kids to never step foot in this house ever again? No wonder Athenkosi hates me.
Emily: How were things between Majola and her?
Michelle: Very awkward. She’s a very evil, vengeful person. She’s dating Majola’s cousin, she’s
evil.
Emily: Apparently Majola and his cousin don’t get along.
Michelle: That’s true, his cousin is just a jealous guy. He’s always been jealous of Majola, he
didn’t have what it takes to compete against Majola.
Emily: Did Majola have enemies?
Michelle: Lots!
Emily: Do you know of any?
Michelle: Edward, Nomzamo, Patrick, Steven and other lawyers whom I can’t name because
they’re a lot of them.
Emily: I thought you said things were awkward between Nomzamo and Majola. You didn’t say
they were enemies.
Michelle: She hated him, she said she would never forgive him for choosing me over her.
Emily: Did you ever witnessed an argument between Majola and his ex wife?
Michelle: Apparently in her house when Majola went to speak to his stubborn son, Athenkosi.
Emily: Apparently?
Michelle: Athabile told me.
Emily: Oh.
Michelle: (phone rings) Uhm…this is an important call, excuse me (stands)
Emily: Thank you for allowing me into your home, I’ll talk to you soon (stands)
Michelle: Have a nice day detective.
Emily: You too Michelle.

After long hours questioning the neighbours, Emily went straight home. She lived with his father,
Andile Joseph Tontho, a former detective. Joseph, as he is called, is a kind man. He is 56 years
old, he was a detective for 26 years. He retired when he was 47 years old due to an injury that
put him in a wheelchair. He got into a bad car accident and his legs were numb ever since.
Emily’s mother, Eunice was a grade 8 English teacher. She passed away four years ago after
losing a battle with breast cancer. Emily’s father used to work at Sunnyside Police Station, the
same station that his daughter now works. Emily has an older brother, his name is Bantu and
he’s 30 years old. He’s a male nurse and he doesn’t have the great son-father relationship with
his dad. Emily was always a daddy’s girl since birth. She has a striking resemblance with her
father’s mother who passed away when her father was a teenager. Emily only know her
grandmother in photos. Emily is a beautiful girl with dimples like her grandmother but she grew
up as a tomboy. She’s still a tomboy at heart.

Emily opened the door, she ran to the couch and lays there.

Joseph: Here (hands Emily a cold can of beer)

Emily: (sits up) Dad?
Joseph: Come on, a cold beer after a long day at work won’t hurt.
Emily: (takes the beer)
Joseph: That’s my baby girl.
Emily: (opens the beer and takes a sip)
Joseph: How’s everything going with the Majola case?
Emily: It’s going to be a hard case. So far things are okay, I think.
Joseph: I’m really proud of you my child.
Emily: (smiles)
Joseph: Supper is ready.
Emily: Dad, you know what happened the last time you cooked. It’s dangerous –
Joseph: (interrupts) I ordered, you don’t have to stress about anything. Plus, I’m a grown man
Emily, I can take care of myself.
Emily: I’m just worried that’s all, I…I don’t want to lose you.
Joseph: You worry too much baby girl, loosen up. Okay?
Emily: Did Bantu call?
Joseph: I suggest you forget about that, baby.
Emily: Why don’t you call him and –
Joseph: Emily, please.

Emily and her dad ate supper. After that, Emily went to sleep – she had a long day tomorrow.

While most people were sleeping at 00h07, Vusi was in the laboratory working. He heard
someone’s footsteps.

Vusi: Jack? Jack is that you?

He looked around and saw no one. He walked out of the room, he saw a room open. He heard
someone going through the files in the cabinet. Vusi slowly crept in the room.

Vusi: Jack?
Jack: (gets a fright) Man, don’t do that!
Vusi: What are you doing?
Jack: I’m looking for a file.
Vusi: What file?
Jack: (holds chest) That red file. Man, you gave me a fright.
Vusi: (laughs) I gave that file to Emily.
Jack: That detective chick you were talking to yesterday?
Vusi: Today not yesterday.
Jack: Buddy you might as well check your watch. It’s midnight.
Vusi: Midnight? (Checks wrist watch) Shit! Time flies.
Jack: You’re officially part of the midnight crew now.
Vusi: Midnight crew?
Jack: Yes, also known as security guard hours.
Vusi: Where were you?
Jack: Out – so when are we going to the crime scene? 6am?
Vusi: 7
Jack: Yeah (scratches head) Now I remember. Thanks buddy, I have to leave now. Wifey will
be mad!
Vusi: Oh, so you’re leaving?
Jack: Aren’t you leaving?
Vusi: I have tons of work to do.
Jack: You know what you want?
Vusi: Arg! I know, “a girlfriend, a kid and a life”.
Jack: (laughs) See you at the crime scene.
Vusi: (nods head) Drive safely.

Jack left. Vusi went to back to work.

#2 Who Killed Majola?

The time was 5am, Emily woke up and she went to the lounge. She went through the file Vusi
gave her yesterday.
Emily: (reading softly) Majola suffered a few broken bones and a fractured skull. The window
was broken which shows forced entry. Majola has fighting wounds, a bloody baseball bat and
hammer were found next to the body. Majola had three shots, one in the chest, one in the rib
cage and another in the heart. His neck looked like he was strangled. (Stops reading)

At 7am Emily was already at the crime scene.

Officer Mthembu: Detective, we have a witness that stepped forward.

Emily: Oh yeah? That’s good to hear, where’s the witness?
Officer Mthembu: (pointing) That gentleman wearing a green shirt.
Emily: Alright, thanks officer.
Officer Mthembu: (smiles) You’re welcome.

Emily went to talk to the witness.

Emily: I heard you witnessed something.

Witness: Yes, that day –
Emily: (interrupts) Sorry, can we talk somewhere more private? Like (looks around) over there
(points to the tree)

They went to stand under the tree.

Emily: This is more like it now. You were saying?

Witness: Yes – as I was saying, that day Majola died I heard noises coming from the house.
Emily: By noise you mean gun shots?
Witness: Yes, I heard three gun shots. Unfortunately I didn’t see anyone after that – however,
before the whole thing happened. I saw a suspicious gentleman outside Majola’s house. I went
out to throw my garbage, I greeted him and he greeted back. I tried making conversation with
him but he brushed me off.
Emily: He brushed you off?
Witness: He faked a phone call and I went inside.
Emily: What happened after that?
Witness: I was rushing to work, I went to work afterwards. When I came home, I heard the
devastating news.
Emily: You think the gentleman you saw was involved in the crime?
Witness: Yes, no doubt.
Emily: Can you describe the gentleman? (takes out pen and paper)
Witness: Tall, light skinned, he was wearing a lot of clothes – he was wearing a cap. All I can
remember is that he was tall and light skinned.
Emily: (stops writing) Well, with no proper description –
Witness: (interrupts) I can point him. I can remember his face, I can point him.
Emily: Alright, thanks uhm…you didn’t say your name.
Witness: Fred
Emily: Thanks Fred, we’ll alert you if there’s any need for pointing the suspect.
Witness: Okay detective (leaves)

Vusi went to Emily.

Emily: Good morning Vusi

Vusi: (yawns) Good morning detective.
Emily: Late night?
Vusi: I didn’t get the chance for a proper sleep.
Emily: Too bad.
Vusi: I was in the lab, working on different cases.
Emily: Any discovery on the Majola case?
Vusi: Not really. Did you check the file?
Emily: Yeah, Majola suffered a lot of hardship.
Vusi: Hardship? That was hell – more than hell.

Emily felt a hand touching her shoulders. It was Lorenzo.

Lorenzo: (smiles) Good morning my favourite detective in the whole wide world.
Emily: (giggles) I’ve been a detective for five seconds and I’m already your favourite in the
whole wide world.
Lorenzo: (laughs)
Emily: Good morning Lorenzo, good to see you here again.
Lorenzo: Ncaaw, did you miss me? (playfully strokes Emily’s cheek)
Emily: (laughs) What I meant was, what are you doing here?
Lorenzo: Good to be back, Em’. The episode is online, better watch it.
Emily: Great, I will.
Lorenzo: What’s up Vusi?
Vusi: I’m good my man, you?
Lorenzo: Great.
Vusi: Alright Emily, chat to you soon. Take care Lorenzo (leaves).
Emily: Oh, okay.
Lorenzo: Alright man.

Majola’s house was surrounded by the police and journalists. Michelle was having an interview
with a journalist. Emily went back to the spot Majola was murdered. She walked around, she
looked out of the broken window and she saw a brick. Emily went out of the house, she went to
check the brick. After a few minutes examining the house, Emily went to Nomzamo’s house.

Nomzamo was Majola’s ex wife. She didn’t look like she was happy.

Nomzamo: Come in.

Emily: Thank you.
Nomzamo: How may I help you?
Emily: I’m investigating the Majola –
Nomzamo: (interrupts) I know. What are you doing here?
Emily: I’m a detective, my job is to investigate. I’m here to investigate.
Nomzamo: I didn’t kill Majola.
Emily: Can we take it easy, shall we?
Nomzamo: I didn’t kill him, whatever that woman –
Emily: (interrupts) Woman?
Nomzamo: Michelle. Whatever she told you about me is probably a lie. She likes to lie about
me.
Emily: Did she lie about you being Majola’s ex wife?
Nomzamo: No.
Emily: You just said whatever she told me about you is probably a lie.
Nomzamo: I wasn’t talking about that. She is a snake in the grass, she uses her looks to get
ahead.
Emily: Oh?
Nomzamo: Let’s go to the lounge (leads the way)
Emily: Alright.
Majola’s son, Athenkosi was in the lounge. He stood up and went to his bedroom.

Nomzamo: That’s my son Athenkosi.

Emily: Oh yeah, the twin.
Nomzamo: His twin sister is out.
Emily: Oh, okay. You were talking earlier about Michelle using her looks to get ahead (takes out
recorder)
Nomzamo: Yes, that’s how she got Majola. Michelle is just a beautiful uneducated girl who
goes after educated wealthy men. Michelle never loved Majola, she loved his money. She killed
him.
Emily: Michelle?
Nomzamo: Yes, she killed Majola.
Emily: Well, she does have a motive.
Nomzamo: She killed him.
Emily: I heard you had countless arguments with Majola.
Nomzamo: Show me ex lovers who don’t have arguments.
Emily: You went after Majola’s cousin after you got divorced.
Nomzamo: (looks away)
Emily: Care to explain?
Nomzamo: (stands) I don’t like to talk about that.
Emily: (stands) Why? Why don’t you like talking about it?
Nomzamo: It’s none of anyone’s business.
Emily: You went after Majola’s cousin who happens to dislike Majola.
Nomzamo: (sits down) That doesn’t mean I killed him.
Emily: (sits down) I didn’t say you killed him but there’s a motive.
Nomzamo: I’m done with this interview. Emily: No, no it’s not.
Nomzamo: At least Patrick cares about me. All Majola cared about was his company this,
friends that, he didn’t give me any attention. I was lonely, Patrick always had a crush on me. He
cared deeply for me, he was always there for me.
Emily: When was the last time you spoke to Majola?
 Nomzamo: A week before he was murdered. I was shocked when I heard the news, he’s the
father of my children…I felt sorry for my children…I
Emily: Were you on speaking terms with him during his last days?
Nomzamo: (shakes head) I wish I can reverse everything, I would have at least been civil with
him. I take back every bad name I called him, I killed him whilst he was alive. I killed his ego, his
manliness, his desire…I wish I can reverse everything.
Emily: Tell me about you and Charlie.
Nomzamo: (wide eyed) Charlie? As in Charlie the drunk?
Emily: Majola’s friend.
Nomzamo: What can I say? He’s nothing to me. I last spoke to him years ago, I was only civil
with him because he was Majola’s friend, otherwise he was just there.
Emily: Alright. I need to speak to Athenkosi.
Nomzamo: (folds arms) He’s going through a lot, he needs space.
Emily: I know but I’m doing my job. Don’t you want to know who killed the father of your kids?
Nomzamo: What does a 17 year old boy know about murdering someone?
Emily: That’s what I want to find out. May I?
Nomzamo: Second room on your right.
Emily: Thanks.

Emily went to Athenkosi’s room. She knocked on the door, music was playing loudly. Emily just
opened the door. Athenkosi was laying on his back.
Athenkosi: (turns off music) Ever heard of knocking?
Emily: If you weren’t playing music that loud, you would have heard me knock.
Athenkosi: You’re already in so…(shrugs)
Emily: I want to ask you a few questions.
Athenkosi: About?
Emily: Oh (smiles) I’m Emily and I’m a detective. I’m investigating the Majola case.
Athenkosi: Okay, a few questions, right?
Emily: Yes. Tell me, when last did you see your dad?
Athenkosi: It was a long time ago. I don’t know when.
Emily: How was your relationship with your dad?
Athenkosi: Alright.
Emily: And your relationship with Michelle?
Athenkosi: Non existent.
Emily: What about your half brother?
Athenkosi: You came here to ask me about my relationships with these people?
Emily: I’m doing my job.
Athenkosi: I don’t have time for this.
Emily: Excuse me?
Athenkosi: If you really want to know who killed my dad, you should be talking to Michelle and
not me.

Emily received an SMS, she read it.

Emily: I have to go, this isn’t over.
Emily left.

Back at the laboratory.

Vusi and Jack were busy on the computer.

Vusi: You never told me why you needed that file.

Jack: I wanted to do my job. Man, I can’t believe you gave that detective chick the original
copies. Why didn’t you give her photocopies?
Vusi: Her name is Emily, not ‘that detective chick’. I gave her the original copies because I trust
her.
Jack: You mean you like her?
Vusi: Shut up.
Jack: Ncaaw, you’re catching feelings. It’s alright man, you two make a great couple.
Vusi: Just shut up man.
Jack: And you’re blushing, how cute!
Vusi: (laughs) You’re a fool, you know that?
Jack: Please tell your girlfriend to return the original copies –
Vusi: (interrupts) She’s not my girlfriend.
Jack: (laughs)

An assistant came into the room.

Assistant: Miss Tontho is here.

Jack: (looks at Vusi) Miss Tontho is here. Vusi: Uhm…bring her here.
Assistant: Alright.
Jack: Let me fix your hair man.
Vusi: Leave my hair alone man.
Jack: I’m only helping.
Vusi: I don’t need your help. Don’t you have anything to do? Don’t you?
Jack: Breath in and out (whispers) here comes the bride.

Emily entered the room.

Vusi: Hey Emily.

Emily: Hey guys.
Jack: Hey.
Emily: I believe you have something for me.
Vusi: Yes, I –
Jack: (interrupts) I have to take a quick phone call (leaves)
Vusi: As I was saying, I found something worth your while.
Emily: Here (hands file) thank you very much.
Vusi: Oh…yeah…yeah…Jack was nagging me about this file.
Emily: Show me.
Vusi: Yes. I was busy on my computer. I used the shoe print that was found on the crime
scene, traced the print and I found a match. Look.
Emily: CAT?
Vusi: Yes, a size nine CAT construction shoe.
Emily: Nice work Vusi.
Vusi: And look at this. Another shoe print, it’s a size nine Nike shoe.
Emily: Please make photocopies of these two prints.
Vusi: Okay. (does copies)
Emily: This doesn’t make sense. People ask me why I do what I do, this is one of the reasons I
do what I do. This is exciting.
Vusi: (smiles)
Emily: Let me call Lorenzo, I’ll be back.

Emily went out of the room, Jack quickly went inside.

Jack: So?
Vusi: So what?
Jack: Did you ask for her number? Or did you ask her out?
Vusi: Here’s the file you wanted (hands him the file)
Jack: Why are you making copies of? What’s that? Shoe prints?
Vusi: Emily want copies of these.
Jack: Oh.
Vusi: Please do me a favour.
Jack: Anything my man.
Vusi: Go and do your work and stop asking me dumb questions.
Jack: Hey, hey –
Vusi: (interrupts) You’re my assistant, I’m asking you to assist me. What are you waiting for?
The work won’t do itself, go.
Jack: Someone’s sexually frustrated (leaves the room)

Emily entered the room.

Emily: Are you done?

Vusi: Yes, here (hands her copies)
Emily: Thank you Vusi.
Vusi: You’re welcome.
Emily: Let me rush to the station, I have to do a few interviews.
Vusi: Uhm…er…Emily.
Emily: Yes?
Vusi: Uhm…I was wondering…uhm…uhm…
Emily: Yes?
Vusi: Did Asakhe bake anything?
Emily: (laughs) I don’t know. If she did, I don’t think there are any muffins left.
Vusi: Of course. That was a dumb question, drive safe.
Emily: Okay, bye.
Vusi: (waves) Bye.

Emily rushed to the police station. Lorenzo ran towards her.

Lorenzo: I have to be somewhere. Charlie is waiting in the interrogation room.

Emily: Oh, okay – thanks.
Lorenzo: Captain wants to have a word with you.
Emily: Me? I wonder what he wants to say.
Lorenzo: (shrugs shoulders) I have no idea. Let me go, I don’t wanna be late.
Emily: Okay.

Emily went to the Captain’s office. Before approaching his office, she stood in front of a large
cabinet with trophies and names of past detectives in the Hall of Fame section. Emily liked
looking at the cabinet every chance she had, her father was one of the best detectives in the
station but his name was never written.

The Captain got out of his office, he saw Emily looking at the cabinet. The Captain stood there
and looked at her.

Emily: (Shocked) Sir? I’m sorry, I was about to knock.

Captain: Tontho, we have been trying to get a hold of you for the past (looks at wrist watch)
hour.
Emily: I was –
Captain: (interrupts) Are you a detective or a tourist?
Emily: Sir, I’m sorry. I was busy doing my job, I went –
Captain: (interrupts) Detective Tontho, it’s good to hear that you were doing your job but your
suspect has been sitting in that room for an hour or so.
Emily: I will attend to him right now, if that’s all you wanted to say?
Captain: I’m watching you Tontho.
Emily: I promise this won’t happen again.
Captain: (nods)
Emily: Thank you sir.
Captain: If you want your name to appear there (points at the cabinet) you have to work extra
hard.
Emily: (quiet)
Captain: You may go.

Emily rushed to the interrogation room. Her mood swiftly changed. She sat on the chair with
great force and released a tired sigh. She took out a recorder, pressed the play button, stated
the case and who she was interviewing and she placed the recorder on the table.

Charlie: I have been waiting here for quite some time now.
Emily: Sorry for the delay.
Charlie: Why am I here?
Emily: Because you won a trip to France, why do people come to interrogation rooms? I need
to ask you a few questions.
Charlie: If I don’t answer?
Emily: You have to.
Charlie: I know my rights.
Emily: And I know the law.
Charlie: Not answering the questions is breaking the law?
Emily: Let’s not make things any harder, shall we?
Charlie: Your people treated me like I was a criminal.
Emily: How exactly?
 Charlie: They knocked on my door like mad people. On the way to the station, they didn’t want
to answer any of my questions.
Emily: Well, I don’t know why they did that but you’re here now.
Charlie: Hey woman, I know my rights!
Emily: Charlie –
Charlie: (interrupts) Just so you know, I didn’t kill Majola.
Emily: When last did you see him?
Charlie: Majola was a busy man, I would say…maybe a week before his death.
Emily: No phone calls?
Charlie: No.
Emily: But you guys were inseparable.
Charlie: Ha! That was high school.
Emily: What happened?
Charlie: Majola was a big shot, he hanged with big shots. Me? I’m just a nobody.
Emily: I believe you worked for him.
Charlie: Yeah but I decided to quit.
Emily: Why?
Charlie: The stress was too much.
Emily: Or maybe you didn’t rise to the occasion.
Charlie: I give my all in everything I do. Emily: Oh yes, you do give your all. You even gave
away most of your belongings just to gamble.
Charlie: That was a mistake –
Emily: (interrupts) Like the day you caused a scene when Majola fired you?
Charlie: I was never fired, I just decided to quit. And I haven’t gambled for six months, I’m even
attending meetings. I want to change.
Emily: Tell me about you and Nomzamo.
Charlie: (laughs) You heard the rumour too? Pathetic if you ask me. There’s no me and
Nomzamo. I don’t know where people get these stupid rumours.
Emily: I wonder why people would make up these rumours.
Charlie: I wish I knew, but people are bored.
Emily: My people tell me that the bank is at a verge of repossesing your car.
Charlie: Yes, I’m working on a way to keep my car.
Emily: Maybe Majola was the only way.
Charlie: Don’t do this.
Emily: The puzzles are all fitting properly in my head.
Charlie: (quiet)
Emily: Were you jealous of Majola’s success?
Charlie: (quiet)
Emily: Yes.
Charlie: (quiet)
Emily: Did you ever wish you were in Majola’s position?
Charlie: (quiet)
Emily: Yes.
Charlie: What do these questions prove?
Emily: A lot –
Charlie: (interrupts) We’ve talked about my gambling problem, my friendship with Majola, my
rumoured relationship with Nomzamo and getting dismissed at Majola’s firm (hesitates for a
second) I mean…quitting my job.
Emily: (smiles) Where were you at 2:35pm on Wednesday?
Charlie: (thinks) uh…I was having lunch with my sister.
Emily: If we called your sister, would she back you up?
Charlie: Yeah
Emily: (takes out phone) Let’s see if you have an alibi (hands him the phone)
Charlie: What do you expect me to do?
Emily: I want you to type in her number so I can call and confirm.
Charlie: I…I don’t know how to use these fancy smart phones (gives back the phone)
Emily: Okay, give me her number.
Charlie: 0 8 3 7 6 8 4 9 0 0
Emily: What’s her name?
Charlie: Ntombi
Emily: Okay (calls the number)
There was silence in the room. Emily put the phone on loudspeaker.

Emily: Hello, am I speaking to Ntombi?

Ntombi: Yes, who am I speaking to?
Emily: You’re speaking to Yolanda. I would like to ask you a question and I would like you to
truthfully answer it. Okay?
Ntombi: Yolanda do you know me?
Emily: That’s besides the point. Are you going to truthfully answer my question?
Ntombi: What do you want? Where do you know me from?
Emily: On Wednesday at around 2:35pm, where were you?
Ntombi: Do I know you?
Emily: Please answer my question.
Ntombi: I don’t know, I was at home. I think.
Emily: At home? So you weren’t out?
Ntombi: I was, yes.
Emily: So you were out?
Ntombi: Yes.
Emily: Where?
Ntombi: Why do you want to know? Where were you at that time?
Emily: I was doing my work.
Ntombi: I was also doing my work.
Emily: Okay, look, my real name is Emily. I am a detective at Sunnyside Police Station and I
would like to know the truth. Where were you?
Ntombi: Sunnyside Police Station? Where do I get in?
Emily: Someone referred me to you, apparently you are his alibi, you were with him at the time
of Majola’s murder.
Ntombi: I met my brother on Wednesday at around 2:30pm. Is he the person you’re referring
to? It has to be him since he was Majola’s friend. Majola was a loving person, he didn’t deserve
to die like that. My brother has nothing to do with Majola’s death.
Emily: Thank you for confirming that, that’s all I needed to know (drops the phone) Well, Charlie
you do have an alibi.
Charlie: So I’m off the hook?
Emily: (smiles) Ha! Not just yet. Tell me more about Edward.
Charlie: (surprised) Edward?
Emily: Yes.
Charlie: Well, I don’t know much about him accept he was once Majola’s friend turned enemy.
Emily: What, what happened exactly?
Charlie: (shrugs shoulders) Jealousy I guess.
Emily: I know what jealousy can do – jealousy can make one do pretty bad stuff, you know?
Charlie: I know.
Emily: Who do you think killed Majola?
Charlie: I don’t know, that’s your job, go find out who killed him.
Emily: What if I’m looking at the killer right now?
Charlie: (laughs) I’ve never killed a fly in my life.
Emily: What shoe size do you wear?
Charlie: Size nine and ten, depends on the making of the shoe.
Emily: Alright, Charlie, I think that’s it for today. I have a few interviews to do today.
Charlie: Okay, I’ll hear from you.
Emily: (stands) You know the way out.
Charlie: (nods)

#3 Who Killed Majola?

A few minutes later, Patrick made his way to the interrogation room. He was Majola’s cousin
and they didn’t get along. Emily sat down, took out the recorder and started recording.

Patrick: I’m not used to these things.

Emily: Get used to these things. I believe you weren’t a fan of Majola.
Patrick: Neither was he.
Emily: I want a straight answer.
Patrick: Yes.
Emily: He’s your cousin, why didn’t you get along?
Patrick: There’s always been competition between me and him.
Emily: I can imagine. You’re even dating his ex wife, checkmate?
Patrick: No.
Emily: Why would you date your cousin’s ex wife?
Patrick: Because I can.
Emily: Did you want to prove anything?
Patrick: What’s there to prove? I was a better man than him.
Emily: And you won?
Patrick: (shakes head)
Emily: Sounds like a boring competition.
Patrick: It wasn’t a competition to determine the winner, it was just a competition to…like,
whatever he did, I wanted to do better and whatever I did, he wanted to do better.
Emily: Oh, sounds like a battle of the egos. I guess you’re happy that he’s out of the way.
Patrick: Happy? (shakes head)
Emily: Come on, you didn’t even like the guy.
Patrick: I didn’t want him dead.
Emily: They all say that.
Patrick: Not as sincere.
Emily: And they’re all good actors too.
Emily: Where were you at 2:35pm on Wednesday?
Patrick: I was working.
Emily: Can anyone back you up.
Patrick: (takes out a page) I made a copy of the work register. Everyone signs the time they
arrive and leave. You can see for yourself, I was definitely working.
Emily: (looks at the page) You came prepared.
Patrick: I would never kill anyone.
Emily: Would you pay anyone to kill for you?
Patrick: (angry) He was my cousin! We shared the same last name! I had problems with the
guy but I never wanted him dead!
Emily: Calm down Patrick. I want to help you find your cousin’s killer but I would love you to
help me.
Patrick: I don’t play dirty. Yeah, I’m dating his ex wife but I never played dirty.
Emily: Who do you think killed Majola?
Patrick: His wife.
Emily: (smiles) Michelle?
Patrick: Yes.
Emily: Can you back your accusation?
Patrick: Michelle cheated on Majola with Bongani. When Majola found out, he wanted to file for
divorce and review his will of testament.
Emily: How do you know?
Patrick: I don’t want her to get involved, she’s too young.
Emily: If she knows these things, she’s not too young. Who told you?
Patrick: Yonela.
Emily: Majola’s youngest child?
Patrick: Yes. She…she just told us about the arguments and the divorce lawyer she saw. We
just put the pieces together.
Emily: When you say ‘we’ –
Patrick: (interrupts) Me and Nomzamo.
Emily: How does Yonela know what the arguments were about?
Patrick: One day she overheard Majola saying to Michelle, “You won’t play me again like you
did with my son”.
Emily: Wow, that’s some concrete information.
Patrick: (looks down)
Emily: It’s true when they say little pitchers have big ears.

After the interview, Emily was told that Edward can’t make it and they had to reschedule the
meeting. An interview with Athabile was also rescheduled because she had to attend
Mathematics classes.

After a busy day, a tired Emily went home. Her father, Joseph was watching a game of soccer.

Emily: Good evening dad.

Joseph: Ah! Come on! A simple one on one with the goalkeeper!
Emily: (throws herself on the couch) Oh…
Joseph: Hey baby girl, how was work?
Emily: Work was fine.
Joseph: (looks Emily in the eye) You can’t fool me baby girl, I know you like the palm of my
hand.
Emily: Okay (sits up) to be honest…work was hectic.
Joseph: (places tv remote on the table) What happened?
Emily: (shakes head) The case is my big break, I get that but I feel so much pressure. Today I
got a weird vibe from the captain.
Joseph: You’re a good detective. I’m proud of you, I know that you will pull through.
Emily: (smiles) thanks dad.
Joseph: Found any leads yet?
Emily: Uhm…I’m interviewing Majola’s family and friends.
Joseph: Do you suspect anyone?
Emily: (shrugs shoulders) I don’t know. It’s complicated.
Joseph: I know you hate it when I do this but I had to…for your sake (drives wheelchair to the
bedroom & takes a file) this is for you (hands it to Emily)
Emily: What’s this?
Joseph: Read it.
Emily: (reads it)
Joseph: You can keep it, it’s –
Emily: (interrupts) I don’t want you to do my job for me. I told you dad, I don’t want any favours
from you.
Joseph: I just wanted to help you.
Emily: But I don’t need your help.
Joseph: Baby girl we all need help. You’re lucky that you have someone who’s willing to help
you, when I was a detective I would’ve loved it if someone helped me.
Emily: Where did you get this information?
Joseph: A detective never reveals his sources.
Emily: You’re not a detective anymore.
Joseph: I will always be a detective.
Emily: Don’t do this ever again, but I’ll hold unto this. Thank you…dad, thank you.
Joseph: (smiles)
Emily: I need to sleep, I’m really tired.
Joseph: Oh? I prepared food.
Emily: Dad, you shouldn’t slave yourself like this. Plus cooking is dangerous for you.
Joseph: (laughs) Just because I’m in a wheelchair doesn’t mean I can’t do anything. You
remind me a lot of Cynthia, may her beautiful soul rest in peace.
Emily: (smiles) Dad, you’re all I have. I don’t want to lose you too.
Joseph: Don’t worry baby girl.
Emily: Good night dad.
Joseph: Good night baby, I love you.
Emily: I love you too.

In the morning, Emily tried to get ahold of Edward. He said he was really busy. Too bad. Emily
was looking at the file her dad gave her, Lorenzo sneaked behind her.

Lorenzo: What’s that?

Emily: (gets a fright & quickly puts the file aside) Uhm…I called Edward, he said he can’t make
it today.
Lorenzo: That’s bad. What was that?
Emily: What?
Lorenzo: This (takes file)
Emily: (quickly stands) Give it back.
Lorenzo: Why is it so secretive?
Emily: (snatches the file) You can’t do that! You just can’t do that.
Lorenzo: Woah, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
Emily: I’m okay, it’s just that…look, that was really disrespectful –
Lorenzo: (interrupts) I didn’t mean –
Emily: (interrupts) Shut up. That was really disrespectful, you can’t take my things without my
permission.
Lorenzo: I didn’t mean to upset you, Em’ I’m really sorry. I was just fooling around.
Emily: Good (puts file in the cabinet) Any news for me?
Lorenzo: Nope, I just came to take this (takes file from Emily’s table)
Emily: Oh, sorry, I forgot to return that.
Lorenzo: Is it too late for a Good morning?
Emily: (smiles) No.
Lorenzo: Good morning, see you around.
Emily: Good morning to you too.
Lorenzo: Later (leaves)
Emily: Alright.

After Lorenzo left, Emily quickly reached for the file in the cabinet. She began to analyse it,
again!

In the afternoon, a cleaner was sent to Emily accompanied by Lorenzo.

Emily: (confused) Lorenzo? What’s going on?

Lorenzo: You know Regina, right?
Emily: No.
Lorenzo: This is Regina, she’s a cleaner at the laboratory.
Emily: O-kay.
Lorenzo: Give her the phone.
Regina: (gives Emily the phone)

Emily watched the video on the phone. She was left dumbfounded.

Emily: Vusi accepting a tip from a man. Uhm…Regina do you know this man?
Regina: No.
Emily: Do you have any other videos?
Regina: No.
Lorenzo: Vusi is up to something.
Regina: He works till the morning, Lord knows what else he gets up to.
Emily: What made you suspicious to the point of recording a video?
 Regina: (looks at Lorenzo) He always wanted me to go home early. Whenever I left, I saw the
same car. One day I decided to record and this happened.
Emily: How long have this been going for?
Regina: For about three days now.
Emily: Alright, so…so why do you think this video will help me with my case?
Lorenzo: I got a call from Jack, he says some of the evidence is missing. This is really
suspicious if you ask me.
Emily: It was really smart of you, Regina. Can you send the video?
Lorenzo: Let me help you with that Reggie (takes phone)

Lorenzo sent the video.

Emily: Thank you. I will investigate on this.

Lorenzo: Okay, Reggie, drop by my office tomorrow afternoon.
Regina: Alright (leaves)
Lorenzo: I can’t believe that bastard!
Emily: I never knew he had it in him.
Lorenzo: A wolf in a sheep’s clothing. Look, I have to go. Heard anything from Tshidi?
Emily: Uhm…Bongani’s girlfriend?
Lorenzo: Yes.
Emily: No.
Lorenzo: Shit! Okay, I’ll give her a call. She’s suppose to be here for an interview. Let me go
(leaves)

An hour later, Tshidi was in the interrogation room. Emily quickly rushed in the room. Tshidi
looked really nervous.

Emily: (smiles) Hey Tshidi.

Tshidi: Hello.
Emily: Relax, you look really tense (takes out voice recorder)
Tshidi: I’m okay, ma’am.
 Emily: (smiles) You’re the first person to call me “ma’am” around here. I’m really flattered but
you can call me Emily. (presses the voice recorder to start recording). Your dream came true
courtesy of Majola, how’s your bakery business?
Tshidi: Good, people love my baking. One day I would love to have a baking school and a large
bakery.
Emily: That’s good to hear. Baking is something I would never do, let me just say the last time I
baked ended in me opening all the windows.
Tshidi: (laughs)
Emily: I believe you live with the Dlangas. How nice of Majola to let his son’s girlfriend to live in
their family home. I don’t know any fathers who would allow such a thing. He was really fond of
you, hey.
Tshidi: (shrugs) I guess.
Emily: Was Mrs Dlanga also in with the idea?
Tshidi: Her opinion never mattered to me.
Emily: I’ll take that as a no?
Tshidi: Michelle is all beauty with no brains, I can’t understand half of the things she say.
Emily: Woah, I can imagine how awkward it becomes on the dinner table.
Tshidi: We never sat on one table and ate dinner. That’s only movie stuff to me.
Emily: (laughs) Movie stuff? Okay.
Tshidi: Why am I here?
Emily: Majola died after you guys left the house –
Tshidi: (shakes head) I don’t know who killed Majola.
Emily: Your boyfriend found him there, right?
Tshidi: Yes, I was with him. We came back after a fruitful day at work, we found him laying
there all bloody. I nearly puked, whoever did that was sick. How can a good man like Majola die
like an animal? Life is unfair, really unfair.
Emily: Who do you think killed Majola?
Tshidi: Certainly not me and my boyfriend.
Emily: And Michelle?
Tshidi: Who knows what else she’s capable of?
Emily: Meaning?
Tshidi: You know Michelle, she will do anything for money. I don’t know, okay? This isn’t my
kind of setting. I’ve never been here, I…Please can I call my boyfriend?
Emily: You talk like she did something you witnessed just for money.
Tshidi: She’s a gold digger.

A policeman knocked on the window, Emily stepped out.

Policeman: (points at the interrogation room next door) You have a visitor sitting next door.
Emily: Who? (peeps on the window) Michelle? What is she doing here? Lorenzo didn’t tell me
about this.
Policeman: Go and hear what she has to say.
Emily: Yeah, thanks.
Policeman: Okay (leaves).

Emily went to the interrogation room where Michelle was seated.

Michelle was wearing a monochrome dress, a gold chain, black half-boots, gold wrist watch and
gold bangles on both wrists. She was sitting with her legs crossed and a brown envelope on the
table.

Emily: Michelle, what brings you here?

Michelle: Is that a way to greet a widow?
Emily: Come on, let’s not be dramatic shall we? How can I help you?
Michelle: No, I’m here to help you.
Emily: I’m busy with an interview next door with Tshidi. Every interview I do around here is
booked, okay?
Michelle: I came at the right time.
Emily: Michelle why are you here?
Michelle: I told you detective, I’m here to help you. I came here with evidence.
Emily: Are you up to your tricks?
Michelle: Tricks? You don’t even know me that well.
Emily: Trust me, I know you very well.
Michelle: Don’t believe everything Tshidi says.
Emily: Tshidi? No, I have my sources.
Michelle: Oh, so do you want the evidence or not?
Emily: (reaches for the envelope)
Michelle: (holds Emily’s hand) Let’s not get forward, ‘shall we’?
Emily: (smiles) What do you want?
Michelle: Thank you, at last she makes sense.
Emily: Don’t waste my time woman.
Michelle: (takes envelope & stands) I need a little favour from you –
Emily: (disturbs) Are you kidding me?
Michelle: (shakes head) Not one bit. Look, I want you to invite the press, I want to have a press
conference.
Emily: Woah, why?
Michelle: I feel it’s the right time to do it. The press has been hounding me for some time now.
Emily: You think I’m going to help you because?
Michelle: (whispers in Emily’s ear) In this envelope is a can of worms, let me just say Tshidi
isn’t that innocent.
Emily: Michelle sit down.
Michelle: (sits down) That’s an offer, right?
Emily: I can’t just pull off a press conference right now.
Michelle: You can, I can…you know, call the journalists.
Emily: I don’t have time for that.
Michelle: So you don’t want my help?
Emily: You do know that you might go to jail for withholding valuable information?
Michelle: You can’t do that! All I want is a press conference.
Emily: Many people might have went down on their knees and worshiped you, which I won’t do.
Michelle: Just organise me a press conference damn it! I’m not asking you to buy me a bugatti,
which you would never afford anyway.
Emily: I don’t have time for your attention seeking stunts –
Michelle: My husband passed away, the least you could do is respect me.
Emily: You need to respect yourself, you should be at home, mourning. I’m sure you’re loving
all the attention these journalists have been giving you.
 Michelle: Every time I go out, I have journalists on my trail, asking me questions. I want this
press conference just to get them off my back. Please.
Emily: You’re speaking to the wrong person.
Michelle: If I give you this envelope, promise me that you will at least transfer me to someone
who’s going to assist with the press conference.
Emily: I will found someone willing to help.
Michelle: How do I know you’re not bullshitting me?
Emily: Do I look like that type of person?
Michelle: (shrugs) You promise, right?
Emily: Do I have to make a pinky promise for you to believe me? Come on.
Michelle: (hands envelope) Better not be bullshitting me.
Emily: (rolls eyes) Let me see this ‘golden’ evidence. (opens the envelope and goes through
the papers)
Michelle: Tshidi isn’t a saint after all.
Emily: This would make a tabloid journalist jealous, this is interesting. Thank you.
Michelle: No, thank you.
Emily: (stands) Once again, thank you.
Michelle: (stands) Pleasure doing business with you.
Emily: Don’t push it.
Michelle: (steps closer) Thank me later.
Emily: That’s all for now.
Michelle: Bye (leaves)
Emily: (leaves)

Emily went back to interview Tshidi who was burying her face in her arms.

Emily: I’m back (press voice recorder to record) Majola must have really loved you, opening a
small bakery shop for you.
Tshidi: He believed in me.
Emily: Seemingly, he must have really loved you. We don’t hear of such stories, if we could
stop a random stranger and ask if they believe this, what do you think they would say?
Tshidi: I don’t know, maybe they would be surprised.
Emily: Why?
Tshidi: Maybe they would think it’s crazy.
Emily: Why?
Tshidi: Because he’s not my father?
Emily: You know what I think they would think? They would think, why would an old man spoil a
beautiful young girl without nothing in return.
Tshidi: Not everyone wants something in return.
Emily: Yes, not everyone. He might be the ‘everyone’ who wants something in return.
Tshidi: Definitely not Majola.
Emily: Sexting. Do you love sexting?
Tshidi: With my boyfriend, yes.
Emily: And with other people besides your boyfriend?
Tshidi: No.
Emily: Take a look at this (hands her the envelope)
Tshidi: What’s this?
Emily: Take.
Tshidi: (takes the envelope)

There was an awkward silence in the room.

Tshidi: It’s not what it seems.

Emily: What does it seem like?
Tshidi: I…I…Whatever.
Emily: You cheated on your boyfriend with his dad.
Tshidi: I was stupid, I shouldn’t have done that but I was desperate. I needed money.
Emily: R55 000 every month?
Tshidi: (quiet)
Emily: R55 00 every month? You certainly did something right, hey?
Tshidi: I wish I can take it all back. He was nice to me, I took advantage of that. I needed
money for my mom, her surgeries were expensive.
Emily: Why didn’t you just ask money for money? I’m sure he would’ve gave you willingly.
Tshidi: He did…he did.
Emily: Your mom would be disappointed to hear about this.
Tshidi: My mom passed away.
Emily: Oh…I didn’t know, I’m sorry.
Tshidi: (cries)
Emily: Does your boyfriend know about this?
Tshidi: No.
Emily: What were you thinking?
Tshidi: I was being selfish, I only cared about myself and not the people who care deeply about
me. My mom would be really disappointed in me.
Emily: When did it begin?
Tshidi: A month ago.
Emily: What led to the texts?
Tshidi: I thanked him and he replied with a flirty text and I also replied with a flirty text.
Emily: Did you have a crush on him?
Tshidi: What kind of question is that?
Emily: Did you?
Tshidi: No, of course not. I was just flirting because he was flirting with me. I never had any
desire to sleep with him.
Emily: If he proposed sex you would’ve accepted the offer –
Tshidi: I’m sorry detective but you don’t know me.
Emily: I know that you sexted with your boyfriend’s father, that’s disgusting.
Tshidi: Don’t judge me! I had to do it for my family, my mother in particular.
Emily: How did you continue to live there after Michelle found out?
Tshidi: Because it’s not her house.
Emily: This doesn’t add up. Michelle is too territorial, why would she let you stay there after she
found out about the raunchy messages you sent her husband?
Tshidi: You should ask her, I don’t know what happens on her mind.
Emily: How were things between you and Michelle after she found out? I can imagine how
awkward things were.
Tshidi: It’s not like she was my friend or anything, we had no relationship. She was just there.
Emily: Were you guys on speaking terms?
Tshidi: We lived in the same house, we exchanged a few words now and there.
Emily: Would you say she was cold towards you?
Tshidi: She was more civil, not cold.
Emily: Help me understand this: She was the first person to leave the house, right? You and
Bongani left after her. After shopping for most of the morning, she went to your bakery shop and
helped you out. We are talking about a woman who found out that her step-son’s girlfriend
sexted her husband. Why would Michelle sacrifice her precious time just to wear an apron, and
help around the bakery?
Tshidi: I don’t know.
Emily: Hmm. Okay, Tshidi, we will have to schedule until some time.
Tshidi: Alright.

#4 Who Killed Majola?

Emily drove to the laboratory to check up on Vusi. She couldn’t believe the video she saw of
Vusi accepting bribe, that was out of his character. On her way to the laboratory, she received a
phone call. It was Lorenzo, he said Edward called and he would like to have the interview in his
office. Emily couldn’t miss it, she drove to Edward’s firm.
Edward’s firm looked stylish, it looked more like an interior design company. Edward’s assistant
directed Emily to Edward’s office. He was seated on his big chair, he turned around.

Edward: Finally, good afternoon, uhm, what’s your name again?

Emily: Emily.
Edward: (shakes Emily’s hand) Sorry, I’m bad with names. You may take a seat, Emily.
Emily: You have a beautiful company, Edward.
Edward: I know. Tell me, why did your people hound me? It’s like I killed Majola or something.
Emily: Did you?
Edward: No, if I wanted to kill Majola he would have been dead long time ago.
Emily: I don’t know how you top lawyers operate.
Edward: What do you mean when you say ‘you top lawyers’ huh?
Emily: You know exactly what I’m talking about. Not so long ago, you were in hot waters –
Edward: (interrupts) Don’t believe everything you read in the newspaper.
Emily: I asked myself, what else can you do for money.
Edward: I never engaged in any fraud business with any Korean company.
Emily: But?
Edward: But nothing. Why are you here? Are you here to investigate about my alleged dealings
with a Korean company or you’re here to investigate who killed Majola?
Emily: On your 41st birthday your birthday wish was for Majola to disappear. Are you happy
now that your wish came true?
Edward: It was just a joke, you can ask anyone who was there. Anyways, it’s a pity that he’s no
more.
Emily: As if you care.
Edward: I do, he was once upon a time my best friend but things went sour.
Emily: What happened?
Edward: The hype got to him, he grew a big head and the fame swallowed him.
Emily: Tell me about the part you got jealous of him.
Edward: I wish I can but I was never jealous of him.
Emily: (smiles)
Edward: What? I was never jealous of Majola, he was jealous of me. I got nasty emails from
him, if I was as bad as people claim I am, I would have leaked those emails to the press.
Emily: Why didn’t you?
Edward: That would be playing dirty.
Emily: Come on, you once played dirty.
Edward: Emily, it seems like you know me more than I know myself. Tell me more.
Emily: Rather you tell me more. Do you know Michelle? Majola’s wife.
Edward: Oh, her? I know her very well. She used to work for me.
Emily: Really? Wow, what a small world!
Edward: I once had an affair with her and I’m not proud of that. It happened when me and my
wife took a break from each other. Otherwise I know her.
Emily: Did Majola know you once had an affair with her?
Edward: Of course! We attended events together.
Emily: If you say you didn’t kill Majola who did?
Edward: Maybe Michelle, she’s a gold digger. I don’t get it, what would I benefit from killing
Majola? I wouldn’t inherit his business or his profit or any assets. Why would I kill him?
Emily: To be the top dog in this business, Majola was the best.
 Edward: Majola wasn’t the best, he worked with the best including this company. I made Majola
who he was in this industry. I never even got a thanks, just a door slam in the face. I sacrificed a
lot for that man. He stabbed me in the back, I’m surprised I’m the bad guy here.
Emily: You let yourself be the bad guy. You should’ve stopped it before it got worse. You are to
blame for this.
Edward: I am to blame? You’re more ridiculous than the law.
Emily: Watch it –
Edward: (interrupts) I don’t understand why I’m always the bad guy.
Emily: When was the last time you spoke to Majola?
Edward: A year or so.
Emily: And Michelle?
Edward: I bumped into her three months ago.
Emily: You said maybe Michelle might be responsible for Majola’s death, elaborate.
Edward: Truth be told, she started dating Majola only to make me jealous, so it was never love
at first sight. I guess when she saw how much Majola is worth, she stayed. It was only a matter
of time.
Emily: (phone rings) Uhm…sorry, I have to take this. (Leaves room)

Emily went outside the office to answer the phone call, it was Lorenzo.

Emily: Lorenzo talk to me.

Lorenzo: Are you still interviewing Edward?
Emily: Yes, why?
Edward: I need you to go check up on Vusi.
Emily: But I’m interviewing Edward, I might not get this opportunity again. Edward is a busy
man, can’t I go tomorrow morning?
Lorenzo: No, look, if I wasn’t busy, I would go to the laboratory but I’m extremely busy. We
can’t let this slide, we should act up faster. What if you might get answers?
Emily: How is this even part of the Majola case?
Lorenzo: Stop being so naïve, go to the laboratory now.
Emily: Okay.
Lorenzo: Bye.
Emily: Sharp!

Emily went in the office.

Emily: I have to go.

Edward: Is that all?
Emily: Of course not but it’s getting late. You’re not off the hook just yet, thanks for taking time
out of your busy schedule. I will show myself out.
Edward: Bye.
Emily: (leaves)

Emily drove to the laboratory.

In the lab, Vusi was busy on the computer.

Vusi: What a lovely surprise Emily, how may I help you.

Emily: I just want the truth.
Vusi: Okay?
Emily: I saw the video footage.
Vusi: Oh? Sorry, what are you talking about?
Emily: I’m talking about you accepting the bribe.
Vusi: Bribe? No ways.
Emily: I saw the footage, you were accepting –
Vusi: (interrupts) Do you seriously think I would do such a thing?
Emily: I saw the video, it was you.
Vusi: Do you seriously think I would do such a thing?
Emily: You did, I saw the footage. I also couldn’t believe it. Why?
Vusi: I thought you knew me better. I didn’t do that, can I see the video?
Emily: (takes out phone) Look.
Vusi: (watches video)
Emily: Remember now?
Vusi: (gives her the phone) That’s not me.
Emily: Vusi, please –
Vusi: (interrupts) That’s not me, Emily.
Emily: You’re the only person around here with dreadlocks.
Vusi: Okay, I want to see the person that shot this video.
Emily: No.
Vusi: Why?
Emily: I never reveal my sources.
Vusi: The person you see in that video is someone trying to be me. That’s not me, I swear on
my mother’s life.
Emily: This is confusing.
Vusi: If that was me, I would tell you the truth.
Emily: Why do you order people to go home in the evening?
Vusi: I never told anyone to go home early ever since I worked in this lab. Whoever told you
that was lying to you.
Emily: Some of the Majola files are missing.
Vusi: The files are safely in the cabinet (walks to the cabinet) the last time I touched them was
when you wanted them (opens cabinet) wait, I swear the files were right here. What the fuck?!
Emily: I told you.
Vusi: Whoever your source is, definitely knows something I don’t know.
Emily: I’m confused now. You say this is not you –
Vusi: (interrupts) Don’t you believe me?
Emily: I don’t know.
Vusi: I don’t have anything to say to you until you tell me who your source is.
Emily: You know that’s not going to happen.
Vusi: (shrugs) Then I don’t have anything to say to you.
Emily: This might get you into trouble, if this video goes viral you will attract a lot of attention
and you might get fired.
Vusi: For something I didn’t do?
Emily: Do you think people will buy that?
Vusi: (quiet)
Emily: If you want to talk, you know where to find me.
Vusi: I have nothing to say to you, Emily. You never gave me a chance to prove my innocence.
Emily: You wasted your chance, if this video goes viral – good luck.
Vusi: I don’t need luck.
Emily: Goodbye Vusi.
Vusi: I will look for the files now, they might be misplaced.
Emily: This isn’t over.
Vusi: (goes back to work).

Days went by, finally, she got the opportunity to interview Majola’s two daughters. She decided
to interview them at the comfort of their home. First up was Yonela, she was 13 years old, she
was in her room listening to music and watching television.

Emily: Knock, knock, can I come in?

Yonela: Yes.
Emily: (Enters the bedroom) Wow, you have a beautiful bedroom.
Yonela: Thank you.
Emily: (looks over to the corner of the room) Were you playing tea party by yourself?
Yonela: No, with Teddy bear and Cinderella.
Emily: I can see they look very comfortable in those chairs. Look at Teddy Bear, he’s even
smiling, he seems like he really enjoyed your tea.
Yonela: Teddy Bear is a ‘she’ not a ‘he’.
Emily: Oh, my bad – nonetheless she looks like she had a ball.
Yonela: (increases the volume)
Emily: Can we talk?
Yonela: (increases the volume)
Emily: Yes? No?
Yonela: (decreases the volume) Huh?
Emily: Can we talk?
Yonela: Yes.
Emily: Can I sit here? (points to the bed)
Yonela: Yes.
Emily: Or maybe we can have a tea party.
Yonela: Yes.
Emily: Let’s go sit in the corner right there, I love your chairs.
Yonela: Thank you.
Emily: (sits on the tiny chair) I also had these chairs when I was your age.
Yonela: Can I pour you some tea?
Emily: Yes please, I would love a cup of tea.
Yonela: With biscuits?
Emily: Yes please. I’m sorry about what happened to your father –
Yonela: (interrupts) Here’s your cup of tea and biscuits.
Emily: Wow, thank you. As I was saying, I’m sorry about your father.
Yonela: My father is in heaven.
Emily: Let’s hope – I mean, of course. I heard you liked visiting your father.
Yonela: My mother used to drop me off there, sometimes my dad came to fetch me.
Emily: What did you and dad get up to when you visit him?
Yonela: We would go to the movies, the aquarium, the zoo, amusement park and the mall.
Emily: Sounds fun, your dad seemed like a fun man. I wish I was you, what did you get up to
with Michelle?
Yonela: I also forgot, we would also go to Tshidi’s bakery.
Emily: Tshidi is quite a baker. What did you get up to with Michelle?
Yonela: Nothing.
Emily: Nothing at all?
Yonela: Yes.
Emily: Do you think your mother has anything to do with that?
Yonela: No, Michelle never loved us. Well, I don’t know. My mommy says Michelle is a bad
person and I don’t like bad people.
Emily: Did that hurt Majola?
Yonela: They would fight, I never loved it when daddy was angry.
Emily: Do you think Michelle is capable of hurting daddy?
Yonela: No.
Emily: No? Why?
Yonela: Because she is…she is…I don’t know.
Emily: When was the last time you visited your father’s house?
Yonela: Mommy won’t let us because she had an argument with my daddy.
Emily: I bet you were really upset.
Yonela: I was but I used to speak with daddy on the phone.
Emily: You said, your dad and Michelle used to fight. Were the fights happening in front of you
guys?
Yonela: Sometimes.
Emily: What would Michelle and your dad fight about?
Yonela: Uhm…allowance and…I forgot.
Emily: Allowance? Okay.
Yonela: Yes.
Emily: Anything else?
Yonela: And…and…allowance.
Emily: What about Bongani?
Yonela: And Bongani, one day my daddy was shouting Michelle because she messed around
with Bongani.
Emily: Alright, play with your friends, okay? I have to speak to your older sister.
Yonela: Okay.
Emily: (stands) The tea was lovely, the biscuits were delicious. I have to go, bye.
Yonela: Bye.

Emily was surprised to find out what type of person Yonela was. She was childish and behaved
like a child with learning disabilities.

Emily went to Athabile’s bedroom, she was reading a book.

Emily: Hey, can I come in?

Athabile: Do I have a choice?
Emily: I’m Emily Tontho and I’m a detective –
Athabile: (interrupts) You’re here to investigate the death of my father. I don’t even know why
you’re here because everyone in this house is innocent.
Emily: Until proven guilty, yes. I want to ask you a few questions.
Athabile: Ask.
Emily: Can I have a seat?
Athabile: Yeah, have a seat.
Emily: (takes a seat) When was the last time you had a proper chat with your father?
Athabile: A long, long, long time ago.
Emily: Why?
Athabile: It’s complicated.
Emily: Let’s try again, why?
Athabile: Oh…me and my dad were not seeing eye to eye.
Emily: Why?
Athabile: Because he was a control freak, I’m old enough to make my own decision. He didn’t
want me to even date, imagine that.
Emily: And Michelle?
Athabile: I love how clever she thinks she is.
Emily: She seems to be in the bad books of most of your family members.
Athabile: I wouldn’t necessarily put her in my bad books at the same time she isn’t one of my
favourite people.
Emily: Do you guys have a bond?
Athabile: No, not at all.
Emily: Your father had enemies, right?
Athabile: Oh yes! Many – people were jealous of my father – still are.
Emily: I can imagine, he was at the top of his game. He was brutally murdered, do you think
maybe one of his enemies is responsible?
Athabile: I don’t know who killed my father but whoever that was, is a cold heartless murderer.
Emily: Why do you think your dad didn’t want you to date?
Athabile: Because he thought I was emotionally immature.
Emily: Is that all?
 Athabile: And because he wanted to be the only man in my life that mattered. He was selfish,
he always thought of himself – well, not always but most of the time.
Emily: Michelle told me that you were Majola’s favourite child mainly because you followed in
his foot steps.
Athabile: My dad loved his children equally, he adored my passion for law.
Emily: And the firm?
Athabile: What about it?
Emily: Since Majola is no more, do you think you might one day take over?
Athabile: Me? No ways, I’m sure he left everything for Michelle. He loved her like she put a
spell on him.
Emily: Michelle knows nothing about law.
Athabile: We haven’t seen the will yet, therefore I don’t want to comment on anything directing
to inheritance.
Emily: Alright. I spoke to your sister, she said you guys witnessed a lot of fighting between
Majola and Michelle.
Athabile: Yeah, they would argue – here and there.
Emily: About allowance?
Athabile: That was once.
Emily: Oh, okay, what else would they argue about?
Athabile: The bills, house duties and some silly things and cheating.
Emily: Your brother…he – he seems like he didn’t express much appreciation to your dad.
Athabile: Athenkosi doesn’t forgive and forget easily, that’s his problem. He’s been angry at dad
ever since the divorce, he blames him.
Emily: Do you?
Athabile: My dad made mistakes but I wouldn’t blame him for the failed marriage. Both my
parents had a part to play in the failed marriage. I don’t condemn my dad’s actions, him
cheating on my mom but I don’t blame him.
Emily: You mentioned your father and Michelle would argue about cheating.
Athabile: Michelle cheated on my father with Bongani.
Emily: Why do you think Majola didn’t kick them out?
Michelle: My father hated loneliness. He was scared of losing people close to him. He felt like
he failed us and we weren’t visiting as much and he was scared to lose Bongani too. I think
that’s why.
Emily: Thank you for your time.
Athabile: You’re welcome.

#5 Who Killed Majola?

Emily investigated the Majola case for weeks. Another case came along and she had to put the
Majola case on hold. The missing files were never retrieved and that added to the case being
put on hold.
His father, Joseph has always been supportive of her.

Joseph: Don’t beat yourself up, my child. During my career as a detective, I put on hold
countless number of cases. It’s not the end of the world, trust me.
Emily: This was my first major case, dad – my first! Did you flop on your first case?
Joseph: Come on baby!
Emily: Definitely not! Nothing you say will erase the feeling that I’m feeling, dad.
Joseph: I’m proud of you, my baby. I’m sure your mother is looking down on you and smiling
right now.
Emily: You’re only saying that because you’re my father.
Joseph: That’s not true. I’m sure your colleagues are proud of you.
Emily: I wish I can just sleep the whole of tomorrow and not go to work.
Joseph: You’re not serious! No! Emily, that’s not a good idea.

[Knock on the door]

Emily: I’ll get that (answers the door)

It was Vusi, Emily went outside.

Emily: How did you find me? Did you follow me?
Vusi: (laughs) No, I saw this (hands her I.D document) you left it in the lab.
Emily: Oh, thank you – thank you very, very much. I didn’t even notice I had a missing I.D
document.
Vusi: I just came to drop this.
Joseph shouted, “Emily who is that?”

Emily: It’s just a friend from work, but he’s leaving now.

Joseph drove his wheelchair to where Emily and Vusi were standing.

Joseph: Hello young man.

Vusi: Good evening sir.
Joseph: Emily why don’t you invite this young man to dinner?
Emily: Vusi probably has work to attend to, he’s very busy.
Vusi: I…I wouldn’t mind.
Emily: I’m sure you have a lot of work to do.
Vusi: No, it’s fine – why would I miss an opportunity to dine with one of the respected detectives
in the state?
Joseph: Come in my boy.

They all went inside, Emily dished up for everyone. Joseph was happy to see a visitor after a
long time.

Joseph: You say you work in the lab, yeah?

Vusi: Yes sir.
Joseph: That’s good. Tell me, where did you meet Emily?

Emily gives his father a funny look.

Vusi: At work –
Emily: (interrupts) Vusi is just a friend from work.
Joseph: Just a friend?
Emily: Yes dad.
Vusi: Uhm…sir, I’ve read good stories about you. I can’t believe I’m having dinner with one of
the best detectives of all time.
Joseph: I’m flattered.
Vusi: You must be proud of your daughter, she’s really good at her work.
Joseph: I’m really proud of her, she’s in a male dominated career but she’s giving the men a
run for their money.
Vusi: Yes.

Conversation flowed between Vusi and Joseph all through the night.

The next morning Emily was at work, reading Lorenzo’s crime report. The station’s captain
came to them with a detective that used to work there.

Captain: Can I have your attention for a few minutes?

Emily: (puts crime report aside) Yes, of course.
Captain: Lorenzo you do know this man. Emily, this is Gift Mda, he’s a detective and he used to
work here. He is your new partner, he has been doing some research regarding the Majola case
– he is well knowledgeable in that. I hope you two work together quite well. I know you will
because your fathers used to be partners back in the days. I have to go now (leaves)
Gift: What more can I say? (takes Emily’s hand) Nice to meet you (kisses her hand).
Emily: (quickly jacks off her hand) Lorenzo please follow me.

Emily and Lorenzo went to a private place.

Emily: Did you know about that?

Lorenzo: No, I should have told you if I knew about it. That guy is a cocky, selfless bastard, I
don’t like him. I don’t know what he’s doing here, there are hundreds of stations in the country.
Emily: I don’t need a partner. This means that the captain doesn’t believe in me, why would he
tag me with someone?
Lorenzo: You might not have experience but you’re a far better detective than that bastard!
Emily: I hate my life right now.

Gift Mda was a 27 year old man. His father, David Mda was also a detective at the same
station. His father is on the Hall of Fame cabinet. Gift is an attractive man but his cocky nature
makes him annoying at times.
Emily and Gift were working in the office. Emily was seated near the corner, far away from Gift.
The two were going through the evidence.

Gift: The files that went missing in the lab were later retrieved.
Emily: I know that.
Gift: But why is it written that –
Emily: (interrupts) I was going to change that.
Gift: When?
Emily: When I had time.
Gift: Oh. The evidence here isn’t enough, we have to interview these people again.
Emily: ‘We’?
Gift: Yes, ‘we’ are partners, remember?
Emily: (mumbles) I’m not loving this.
Gift: Trust me, me too. I will set up a special interview with Michelle, maybe in a date form.
Emily: Whatever makes you sleep at night.
Gift: Woah, what’s up with you? Miss Uptight.
Emily: (leaves)
Gift: I don’t blame you, I’m too hot to handle.

Gift set up an interview with Michelle. He organised a small restaurant for their meeting.

Michelle: Hmm, a man with taste.

Gift: (pulls out chair) You may take a seat.
Michelle: And a gentleman too (sits) You’re looking good.
Gift: I know but thank you. You’re also looking good.
Michelle: I know but thank you too. So why the beautiful place when you’re going to ask me
questions?
Gift: This place is fit for a woman like you.
Michelle: A woman like me? Hmm, this is not my vibe but I admire the effort.
Gift: Not everyone is a Majola, you know.
Michelle: I know, there were few of him.
Gift: Clearly. I wouldn’t be your type obviously because I don’t own a law firm.
Michelle: Well…
Gift: And I’m not a lawyer’s son.
Michelle: Yeah, so get to the point. Ask me the questions and I’ll answer truthfully because I
preach the truth. Your colleague owes me a favour but we will come to that.
Gift: What favour?
Michelle: No, no – questions first.
Gift: Come on, maybe it’s a favour that I can fulfill who knows?
Michelle: She promised to organise a press conference.
Gift: That’s all?
Michelle: Yes.
Gift: That’s nothing, I can organise that for you. I can organise it tomorrow even.
Michelle: What? So early?
Gift: Yes.
Michelle: Wow, you don’t waste time.
Gift: I don’t.
Michelle: That’s fine by me.
Gift: Maybe you can return the favour.
Michelle: No boo, no boo. I did what I had to do, this, this is my favour.
Gift: I thought we were on the same page.
Michelle: Never that.
Gift: Alright, I was just kidding. So…you come back from your day of shopping and you find
your step son and his girlfriend making phone calls, your husband has been brutally murdered,
that must have been a nightmare.
Michelle: I couldn’t sleep, I don’t know who would do such a thing.
Gift: Whoever killed him made sure he doesn’t live to see another day.
Michelle: Heartless murderer!

Emily entered the restaurant.

Gift: Hey, what a lovely surprise. Look who came to join us.
Michelle: (sarcastic) Yay.
Gift: Take a seat right next to me.
Emily: You look dressed for the occasion.
Gift: Is that your way of saying I look good? Thank you anyway.
Emily: Carry on with the convo.
Gift: By the way, tomorrow there will be a press conference.
Emily: What?
Michelle: You didn’t fulfill your promise, don’t act all surprised.
Gift: (shrugs)
Emily: We’re partners, you should tell me stuff like this.
Gift: (sips champagne) Now you’re acknowledging that ‘we’ are partners.
Emily: Whatever Gift, carry on.
Gift: How did this murderer enter the house?
Michelle: Didn’t you see the pictures? The windows were broken.
Gift: We can’t even argue and say it was a burglar because nothing was stolen. This person
entered the house knowing what they were going to do. It’s funny enough that the cameras
happened to not work that day.
Michelle: The cameras have not been working for a week. Majola said he will take the matter
into his own hands.
Gift: A week is a long time, although Majola is a busy man, he can make a few phone calls and
get someone to fix the surveillance cameras.
Michelle: I don’t know why he took long.
Gift: Weird.
Emily: The windows were broken, yes but the funny thing is that the window pieces were
outside but the brick was inside.
Michelle: What does that mean?
Emily: That means that whoever broke those windows was inside not forcing from the outside
to go inside.
Michelle: I don’t know, what are you saying?
Emily: Just that, or do you not understand english?
Gift: Do you know what I find funny too Emily?
Emily: What’s that Gift?
Gift: Apparently the ‘murderer’ entered the house via the window but the hole wasn’t big
enough for even a twelve year to enter in.
Emily: This person entered the house via the door not the window.
Michelle: Maybe Majola forgot to lock the door.
Emily: Or maybe someone gave this person the key.
Michelle: That’s insane!
Emily: I said ‘maybe’.
Michelle: I seriously don’t belong here right now.
Gift: You and Charlie grew closer to each other.
Michelle: He was my husband’s friend, I had no choice but to be civil with that drunkard!
Gift: Charlie felt like Majola abandoned him.
Michelle: Did you expect Majola to be buddy-buddy with that man who doesn’t have a dress
sense to save his life? He looked like a hobo, his breathe? Yuck! He always smelled cheap
alcohol.
Gift: (looks at Emily)
Emily: He was also a gambler, an addict. He sold his items, he took out multiple loans and he
had debt. In that moment maybe it felt right for him to do the ‘bad’. He was desperate, he was
willing to do anything for money. You and him would have made a great tag team in this
instance.
Michelle: Why would I kill my husband when I knew that I wasn’t going to get anything?
Gift: What do you mean?
Michelle: I saw his will a year ago, everything was for his children and ex wife.
Emily: Come on, not even the house?
Michelle: No, the house was for his ex wife.
Emily: And Bongani?
Michelle: Money.
Emily: Why would Majola buy Tshidi a small bakery and not even leave anything for you
behind?
Michelle: I don’t know.
Gift: That doesn’t make sense.
Emily: Did you confront him?
Michelle: And give him more reason to write me off?
Emily: Write you off?
Michelle: You know – he was fixing his will. At least that’s what he said to his lawyer.
Emily: Huh?
Gift: How did you know this? Did the lawyer tell you? Or did you sniff around?
Michelle: The lawyer told me. After I saw the documents, I phoned the family lawyer.
Emily: For what I’ve gathered, Majola loved you a lot. Why would he exclude you from gaining
anything? Clearly something went wrong.
Michelle: I don’t know, I was shocked too.

They questioned Michelle for close to an hour after retiring to the office.

Gift: It was great seeing you there.

Emily: Just doing my job.
Gift: It would be nicer if Michelle wasn’t there.
Emily: What?
Gift: The whole setting was nice. It was romantic.
Emily: I’ve been to better places than that.
Gift: How about we go out for a couple of drinks after work?
Emily: How about no?
Gift: What do you want?
Emily: Nothing.
Gift: I’m trying my best here, meet me halfway.
Emily: You came here ten seconds ago. What do you expect? The only thing I know about you
is that you’re David Mda’s son, that’s all.
Gift: I knew coming into this, I will deal with people like you. That Lorenzo guy is a pain and I
didn’t imagine my partner who happens to be a girl, is also a pain.
Emily: A girl? Wow.
Gift: It didn’t come out right but you do get what I’m saying, right?
Emily: My dad told me stories about your dad, it’s like I’m looking at your father right now.
Gift: What does that suppose to mean?
Emily: You are so selfish.
Gift: You’re trying to say my father was a selfish man?
Emily: Your father was a lying, cheating and conniving man who backstabbed his friend just to
be the hero.
Gift: You don’t know my father!
Emily: Your father is degrading the purpose of that Hall of Fame cabinet. He doesn’t belong
there – at all!
Gift: Your father was jealous of my dad, he will never ever be like him. Your father isn’t on that
Hall of Fame because he’s nothing!
Emily: (slaps Gift)
Gift: See you tomorrow (leaves)

Emily stayed at work till late, she worked on the Majola case alone. Vusi came to drop some
files.

Vusi: (watches Emily from a distance)

Emily: Hey, can I help you?
Vusi: I didn’t know I would find you here.
Emily: Well, I’m working on this Majola case.
Vusi: Is Gift here?
Emily: No.
Vusi: Oh, too bad – I came to drop this. He wanted these files.
Emily: Okay, you can leave them right here.
Vusi: Alright (puts the files on the desk)
Emily: Is that all?
Vusi: I want to talk to you about the video incident.
Emily: I’m listening.
Vusi: I wanted to raise this issue up when I dropped off your I.D but your father, you know,
interrupted. Look, I thought about it and I know who might be the culprit.
Emily: Yes?
Vusi: I remember when Jack kept asking me about the file you took and I remember catching
him looking for something in the cabinet. Maybe it was Jack.
 Emily: The guy in the video has dreadlocks and Jack doesn’t have dreadlocks, do you mind
explaining that part?
Vusi: It was a wig.
Emily: (laughs)
Vusi: (takes out his phone) Look.
Emily: And?
Vusi: I asked him about this wig, he said he went to a dress up party after work and he forgot to
take the wig out of his locker. What a coincidence! But I acted dumb.
Emily: Why do you think Jack did that?
Vusi: I thought he was my boy, we have to find out who gave him money.
Emily: Sorry, did you just say ‘we’?
Vusi: I thought you were going to help me.
Emily: I’m busy with the Majola case, if my boss hear that I’m busy with something else on the
side, I would be suspended.
Vusi: He doesn’t have to find out.
Emily: The files were recovered, many people in the lab and in here think they were misplaced.
Vusi: We both know the truth, the files were stolen by Jack.
Emily: And what did Jack do with them? Because everything is still there.
Vusi: We can find out.
Emily: “We”? Vusi there is no “we”. I told you that I can’t do that.
Vusi: If you don’t want to help me, I’ll ask your father.
Emily: Are you crazy?
Vusi: It seems like your father still has some fuel left in him, I’m sure he will be more than willing
to help.
Emily: My dad is in a wheelchair, he’s not in a good state to be doing such things.
Vusi: From the conversation I had with him, he would be happy to hear such news.
Emily: Why are you doing this?
Vusi: I’ve been there for you –
Emily: (interrupts) Blah! Blah! Blah! That’s a crappy excuse.
Vusi: Must I go down on one knee?
Emily: Of course not!
Vusi: (goes down on one knee) Emily –

Lorenzo walked in.

Lorenzo: I thought you would never ask. Did she say yes? (laughs) what are you two doing?
Vusi: (quickly stands)
Lorenzo: Were you asking her to marry you? (laughs) huh?
Vusi: Please rethink this, Emily.
Emily: I can’t, Vusi.
Vusi: Sleep on it.
Emily: Vusi, I –
Vusi: (holds her hand) I beg you, please.
Lorenzo: What’s going on here?
Vusi: See you tomorrow, goodnight. Cheers Lorenzo (leaves)
Lorenzo: Bye man. Emily? And now?
Emily: It’s complicated.
Lorenzo: Did you say yes? (laughs)
Emily: This isn’t a joke, he asked me to help him find out who’s in that video.
Lorenzo: The files were recovered, what’s the big deal?
Emily: That’s what I said to him.
Lorenzo: If he says that’s not him in the video, who’s that?
Emily: Jack.
Lorenzo: He doesn’t have dreadlocks, how is that possible?
Emily: He said he found a dreadlocks wig in his locker. One night he caught Jack searching for
the files.
Lorenzo: So this Jack guy was imitating Vusi?
Emily: Yeah.
Lorenzo: But why?
Emily: I don’t know.
Lorenzo: We should talk to the cleaner, find out more information.
Emily: I’m not digging into it, I’m busy with the Majola case.
Lorenzo: Ever heard of multitasking?
Emily: Really?
Lorenzo: Bad joke, but you can do it on the side. The boss doesn’t have to know.
Emily: The boss is watching me like he’s a hawk, I can’t risk my job for a silly video of an
assistant impersonating a lab researcher.
Lorenzo: An assistant accepting bribe in exchange of evident files, is that silly?
Emily: Why don’t you help him?
Lorenzo: This is your chance to shine. This Majola case is dragging. Vusi has risked his job for
you multiple times, he has broken many lab rules for you. It’s only fair if you return the favour.
Emily: I was working on the Majola case, if that’s all – please close the door on your way out.
Lorenzo: If you agree to help him, you know where to find me (leaves)

After spending most of the night in the office, Emily went home at 3am.

The next morning, Gift was the early worm. Emily followed, she was tired.

Gift: You won’t believe this.

Emily: I’m so tired.
Gift: Do you want to hear this or not?
Emily: I’m listening, gosh!
Gift: Michelle gave Athenkosi Majola’s car.
Emily: (yawns) What?
Gift: Last night I managed to set up an interview with Tshidi. I will meet up with her in her small
bakery. I want you to set up an interview with Bongani at the same time I will be interviewing his
girlfriend.
Emily: (yawns)
Gift: Are you even listening?
Emily: Yeah – I will.
Gift: If you’re still hanging onto what happened between us yesterday, I’m not that type of guy. I
don’t hold grudges, to me – that didn’t happen.
 Emily: I stayed until late, I left at 3am and I literally slept for 2 hours. I’m super tired and sleepy
but I’m going to the cafeteria right now, I’m going to get myself a hot cup of coffee.
Gift: Help yourself.

Emily went to the cafeteria and Lorenzo was there.

Lorenzo: Good morning Em’

Emily: Hey.
Lorenzo: You look drowsy.
Emily: Thank you very much.
Lorenzo: I’m sorry but you know what I meant. So…have you thought about what we spoke
about?
Emily: I’m really tired Lorenzo, can we not speak about that?
Lorenzo: I spoke to Gift earlier, he’s going to have an interview with Tshidi.
Emily: He told me, after this cup of coffee, I have to make a phone call. I need to set up an
interview with Bongani.
Lorenzo: I can do that for you.
Emily: Really?
Lorenzo: Yes.
Emily: Thank you.
Lorenzo: Anything for my favourite detective.
Emily: Don’t think you’re softening me up, I’m not planning to ditch the current case I’m busy
with.
Lorenzo: No one asked you to ditch anything, Em’. He needs your help, that’s all.
Emily: I have to go, notify me when the interview is set.

In the afternoon, Gift went to Tshidi’s small bakery to interview her.

Gift: Can I have two cupcakes please?

Tshidi: Alright…that would be R10.
Gift: Okay (gives her money)
Tshidi: Alright…thanks.
Gift: How are you?
Tshidi: I’m alright and you?
Gift: I’m okay. Shall we?
Tshidi: Of course – let me close the bakery for a short while.
Gift: You do that, I’ll sit here and eat my cupcakes.

Tshidi put up the “Closed” sign on the door and she locked.

Gift: Delicious, you’re really good!

Tshidi: Thanks.
Gift: You seem like a really humble person, I can’t wrap my head around what you’ve done.
Tshidi: Excuse me?
Gift: You and Majola, he’s old enough to be your father.
Tshidi: I had to do what I had to do.
Gift: I feel like there’s more to why you did it.
Tshidi: My mother needed money for surgeries –
Gift: (interrupts) You told Emily that Majola would’ve gave you the money willingly, don’t try and
make an excuse for sexting with an old man.
Tshidi: I –
Gift: (interrupts) It was recorded using a voice recorder. You might have fooled Emily but you
can’t fool me. I can see right through you.
Tshidi: Is that so? If you knew everything why would you come here and interview me?
Gift: I want you to confess. I know that you know. What really happened.
Tshidi: Nothing! I was sexting my boyfriend’s father, I was stupid.
Gift: You’re too smart to be playing this silly game. Tell me what really happened.
Tshidi: (cries) I don’t want to get into trouble.
Gift: Tell me the truth, for your own good.
Tshidi: Michelle cheated on Majola with Bongani, I was returning the favour.
Gift: Did Majola know about Michelle and Bongani?
Tshidi: Yes.
Gift: And how was his relationship with Bongani afterwards?
Tshidi: It was okay, funny enough. I think he was more upset at Michelle than Bongani.
Gift: If you can excuse me – I want to give my partner a call.
Tshidi: Alright.

Gift gave Emily a phone call and he told her everything. After the phone call, Gift went back to
interviewing Tshidi.

Back in the police station, Bongani was sitting in the interrogation room waiting for Emily.

Emily entered the interrogation room with a voice recorder.

Emily: Hey.
Bongani: What’s up?
Emily: You do know why you’re here, right?
Bongani: Yep.
Emily: Let’s not waste any more time and get with programme.
Bongani: Why not?
Emily: (begins recording) I want you to go back to the start. You and your girlfriend left the
house first?
Bongani: Yeah, we left first.
Emily: Carry on.
Bongani: Michelle followed afterwards. We were the first to return home and we saw the body. I
tried performing CPR but my girl kept shouting, “he’s gone, he’s gone”. We both made phone
calls, I was crying like a baby.
Emily: So Michelle was the last to leave the house you say?
Bongani: Yes.
Emily: When we first spoke, you said she was the first to leave the house.
Bongani: I said that?
Emily: Yes.
Bongani: I don’t remember myself saying that.
Emily: When I lie, I also don’t remember my lie.
Bongani: What are you trying to say? I made a mistake.
Emily: Correct it.
Bongani: She was the…let me think…hmmm…she was the last to leave.
Emily: Why did you lie the first time?
Bongani: I was shaken, I was not myself. I can’t remember half of what we spoke about. You
have to remind me.
Emily: After you saw that your father was dead, what did you do except for calling the police?
Bongani: I performed CPR, I told you.
Emily: Didn’t you look around?
Bongani: No, I was busy helping my father.
Emily: You didn’t even care if the murderer was still in the house?
Bongani: No, I was focusing on my dying father.
Emily: He was dying?
Bongani: He was dead, dying, whatever. I was focusing on him.
Emily: Do you think his murder was premeditated?
Bongani: I think it was a burglar.
Emily: Everything was still intact. Seems like that “burglar” went to steal your father’s life.
Bongani: I still have nightmares of that blood! Sometimes I can’t go to sleep, I take pills. I’m so
miserable.
Emily: How was your relationship with your father before he passed away?
Bongani: We were bonding more than ever. We were suppose to go on a family trip next
month.
Emily: The surveillance cameras didn’t work, we missed some valuable information. The
cameras have a bad timing, don’t you think?
Bongani: I know, right? I was pissed. If they were working, we would’ve seen the person behind
all of this.
Emily: Your father must have been a really understanding man.
Bongani: He was, sorry, what are you talking about?
Emily: You and Michelle.
Bongani: What about us?
Emily: You had an affair with your father’s wife.
Bongani: It was a mistake.
Emily: How?
Bongani: I’m a man, she came in hard.
Emily: You had a choice, didn’t you?
Bongani: Michelle doesn’t take no for an answer. She kept coming after me.
Emily: Why do you think she came after you?
Bongani: I don’t know, maybe because I’m young and good looking?
Emily: Why would a woman like Michelle go after you?
Bongani: Wow, “a woman like Michelle”, wow.
Emily: Majola had money, everything you couldn’t afford. Why would Michelle go after you?
Bongani: You tell me, why do you think she went after me?
Emily: She wanted to make Majola jealous. Perhaps?
Bongani: Oh?
Emily: And that costed her a lot. Has your father told you about his will testament?
Bongani: No, that’s too private.
Emily: I wonder though, why did Majola write Michelle off the will?
Bongani: What? Where did you hear that?
Emily: You didn’t know?
Bongani: No, I can’t believe this! Is that even legal to write your spouse out of the will?
Emily: Was she in the will in the first place?
Bongani: I never knew!
Emily: In that household, it seems like you and your father shared the same fetish, if I may call
it, a fetish.
Bongani: And that is?
Emily: Swinging partners.
Bongani: My girl never had sex with my father, just sexting that’s all.
Emily: Who knew such amount of drama happened in the infamous, Majola’s house?

The interview went on quite longer than Tshidi’s interview.

The two partners finished their interviews. Gift was reading a book, Emily entered his office
without knocking.

#6 Who Killed Majola?

Emily: I’m tired of this. I’m here to tell you the truth about everything.
Gift: What a nice surprise, take a –
Emily: (interrupts) Your dad is not who he say he is –
Gift: (laughs) I thought we were past this.
Emily: Every time I pass that cabinet, Gift, I can’t help but think that my father deserves to be
on that Hall of Fame list. He was a hard working man, he dedicated everything to his job. Your
father robbed my dad’s chance of being in that cabinet and most importantly he ruined my
father’s reputation. He crushed his ego.
Gift: (stands) If you have a problem with my father go and speak to him, face-to-face. I don’t
know what your dad told you about my father and I don’t want to hear it. It’s obvious that he
dislikes my father and the unfortunate part is that my father never speaks about your dad.
Emily: Your father always wanted to be praised, he hated teamwork and he tried everything in
his power to get rid of my father. Do you remember that George Downey case?
Gift: Yes.
Emily: That case was never completed, my father dedicated years investigating that case. He
gave me the file, it has everything.
Gift: Why are you telling me this? What does your father completing an old case has to do with
my father?
Emily: Your father robbed my father’s chance at greatness.
Gift: Stop beating around the bush, what exactly did my father do?
Emily: You want to know?
Gift: Tell me.
Emily: Your father organised a set up for my father. He placed cocaine and weed in my father’s
locker, the boss found out and he was expelled. His badge, everything was taken from him
including his dignity.
Gift: I don’t believe this.
Emily: Stop being naïve!
Gift: Why didn’t your father tell the boss that it was a set up?
Emily: Because –
Gift: (interrupts) And how did your father knew it was my dad who did that?
 Emily: My father just knew it. Your father didn’t want to work with my dad, he was jealous of
him. Your dad was a very competitive man.
Gift: (laughs) Whatever, Emily. I will just read this book and you can roam around or whatever.
Emily: Ask your dad.
Gift: Whatever, Emily.

Emily left.

It was very late, Vusi was working in the lab. He heard footsteps coming from the computer
room. He tiptoed to the computer room, he saw a cleaner carrying a bucket and mop. The
cleaner was looking around, she looked like she was up to something. Vusi walked in, she got a
fright.

Cleaner: Sir, you gave me a fright. The time is 11, I thought you were gone.
Vusi: What are you doing?
Cleaner: I was about to clean but you entered.
Vusi: At this time?
Cleaner: Yes, tomorrow my shift begins in the afternoon.
Vusi: What were you doing here?
Cleaner: Sir, I was doing nothing.
Vusi: (checks files)
Cleaner: Everything is still there. Why would I steal files?
Vusi: Apparently these files grow feet and they walk.
Cleaner: I heard the files went missing.
Vusi: Someone took them.
Cleaner: I will go if you want me to leave. It’s obvious that you don’t trust me, you can clean
(hands him the mop).
Vusi: (takes mop) You may leave.
Cleaner: Alright, sir.
Vusi: Anyway, who gives cleaners permission to clean rooms that are only for workers?
Cleaner: The boss made complaints on how dirty the rooms are.
 Vusi: No – no – no – tell your colleagues to never enter these rooms with valuable information.
Many things have gone missing in this lab, I’m not saying cleaners steal – but some people will
do anything for money.
Cleaner: I will tell them, sir. Good night.
Vusi: Travel safely.

The cleaner left, Vusi just went out with the mop and bucket.

Gift went to visit his father, David Mda.

Gift: Dad, how’s the flu?
David: I’m alright son. How’s work?
Gift: Work is work, I’m just trying to get along with my partner. What makes it worse is that it’s a
female and you know how females nag.
David: Are you losing your touch son?
Gift: (laughs) Not at all.
David: Oh, I was just asking. You do know that the Mda magic never fails, right?
Gift: Exactly. Uhm…dad, I want to tell you something.
David: Is it serious?
Gift: I don’t know how you would feel.
David: Then tell me.
Gift: The…the girl I’m working with is Joseph Tontho’s daughter.
David: That makes sense why she’s giving you hell.
Gift: She’s also telling me stuff about you and her dad.
David: Stuff like what?
Gift: Like how you betrayed her father.
David: And you believe that?
Gift: No, I don’t know because you never told me. Plus, I can’t imagine you doing it.
David: (shakes head) How did I betray Joseph?
Gift: You placed cocaine and weed in his locker and he got expelled.
David: (laughs) Where was this? High school?
Gift: I just want to hear it from you.
David: Do you think I would do that?
Gift: I want you to tell me if that’s true or not. She says after her father was expelled, he
continued with the George Downey case. He finished the case, he got all the answers.
David: That man doesn’t give up, does he? Well, I don’t care whether he finished the case or
not, he still won’t be in the hall of fame.
Gift: Hall of fame?
David: It came out wrong. He still won’t be the hero, because he wanted to always be that man.
Gift: Tell me your side of the story.
David: Are you interrogating me?
Gift: No, not at all.
David: I’m your father, you should trust me.
Gift: How? You don’t even want to confirm whether or not you –
David: (interrupts) Of course not!
Gift: Okay.
David: Get out of my house, now!
Gift: Why are you getting emotional?
David: You have no right to come into my house and treat me like a law offender.
Gift: I know you know something.
David: Ha! Arrest me!
Gift: I always looked up to you, just know that. You inspired me to be who I am but I would
never betray my partner like you did.
David: What are you saying?
Gift: You forgot I’m a detective, I can’t be fooled by small talk.
David: (grabs Gift’s shirt aggressively) Don’t mess with me son.
Gift: Or else what? You’re going to set me up too? You want my locker number?
David: I don’t want to see you again. You betrayed your own father.
Gift: Come on, how did I betray you? I just wanted to know the truth and you became so
emotional. Too emotional.
David: (pushes Gift) Get out of my house.
Gift: I’m leaving.
David: Go to Joseph, he will teach you how to be a bad detective. You will regret this day, no
one messes with me and gets away with it.
Gift: I can’t believe I looked up to you!
David: Leave my house now!
Gift: Bye, dad.

Gift drove away.

In the morning Lorenzo was having a cup of coffee while conversing with Vusi. Emily went to the
cafeteria.

Lorenzo: Good morning Em’.

Emily: Good morning Lorenzo and Vusi.
Vusi: Good morning.
Lorenzo: Do you want a cup of coffee?
Emily: No thanks.
Lorenzo: Are you sure?
Emily: Yes, I am sure Lorenzo.
Lorenzo: (looks at Vusi) Okay.
Emily: It’s not working guys.
Lorenzo: We didn’t say anything.
Vusi: Good thing you arrived, I just came to drop these off (hands Emily a file).
Emily: (takes file) Thanks.
Vusi: Uhm…Do you have a minute? I want to talk to you – I swear it’s not about the video thing.

Gift came to the cafeteria.

Gift: Emily can we talk in private? It’s about what you told me yesterday.
Emily: Alright…Vusi, I’m sorry, maybe we can talk when we meet up next time.
Vusi: Why not? Of course, it’s getting late – I have to go to work anyway.
Emily: Alright then (leaves with Gift)
Vusi: Thanks for the coffee man, see you when I see you.
Lorenzo: Okay man.

Vusi left. Gift and Emily were in Gift’s office.

Emily: Vusi gave me this file, it’s the phone records.

Gift: Sweet, that’s good. Uhm…check here, I went to speak to my dad about what you said and
he caused a scene.
Emily: How?
Gift: Like, it happened so fast. I asked him and he became so defensive, he even threatened
me and he kicked me out of the house. But he said he didn’t do it, his actions said otherwise. He
even said I betrayed him, can you believe it?
Emily: It’s obvious.
Gift: It is obvious, what happens now?
Emily: All I ever wanted was my dad’s name to be clean. I want people to know him as the
good detective he was rather than the detective that got expelled for smuggling illegal drugs.
Gift: I hear you, so….
Emily: I will think of something but in the meantime, let’s get back to work.
Gift: I slept late yesterday.
Emily: Me too, this case is depriving me of my sleep.
Gift: Found any interesting angles?
Emily: I have like a huge board with names of everyone we interviewed. I write notes next to
each name –
Gift: (interrupts) No ways, really?
Emily: Yes, my father used to do that, it’s crazy.
Gift: It’s not crazy, it’s great.
Emily: Great? Wow, I know, right?
Gift: Yeah.
Emily: Any interviews I don’t know about?
Gift: Not at all, we should take a look at these phone calls.
Emily: Of course.
Gift: You may take a seat.
Emily and Gift worked through the evidence they received.

After hours in the office, Emily took Gift home. It was around 1pm. Emily’s father was watching
news.

Joseph: Hey baby girl, you’re home early.

Emily: Dad I want you to meet my partner, Gift Mda.
Gift: Good afternoon Mr Tontho, it’s great to finally meet you in person.
Joseph: Good afternoon.
Emily: Just watch tv and act like we’re not home.
Joseph: Where are you going?
Emily: To my bedroom, I want to show Gift my board. We’re busy with the case.
Joseph: In the bedroom?
Emily: Dad, we will work in the study.
Gift: Don’t worry Mr Tontho, it’s just work.
Emily: Let’s go Gift.

Emily and Gift went to the bedroom.

Gift: Your dad calls you “baby girl”.

Emily: Yep, ever since I was a little girl.
Gift: Cute.
Emily: This is my board.
Gift: You were not playing when you said you wrote notes.
Emily: Not at all.
Gift: This is nice though.
Emily: Let me pick it up –
Gift: (interrupts) I will pick it up, you lead the way to the study room.
Emily: Oh, that’s nice of you.
Gift: I’m a nice guy, Emily (picks up the board)
They went to the study room.

Gift: Your dad seems not to be in a good mood after we walked in.
Emily: I don’t know.
Gift: Maybe it’s because I’m David’s son.
Emily: Nonsense, maybe he’s having a bad day.
Gift: Oh, okay.
Emily: Let’s get back to work. We agreed that our main focus is everyone that lives in Majola’s
house.
Gift: Yes, they’re a suspicious bunch.
Emily: They change their stories when we interview them, well, Bongani changed his story.
Gift: He slipped.
Emily: Yes, he slipped. Do you think they tell each other how to answer to certain questions?
Gift: I think so but everything we gathered from the forensics showed otherwise but I have a
feeling they were involved.
Emily: Some way.
Gift: Yeah, some way.
Emily: I told you about the brick?
Gift: Yes, the cameras not working that week was suspicious. The technician says the cameras
were indeed not working following something faulty, I don’t know.
Emily: Do you really believe Michelle was written off the will?
Gift: That’s bullshit, it doesn’t make sense.
Emily: I also don’t think Majola did that but why would she lie?
Gift: If her name isn’t on the will, she gets nothing and she will gain nothing if she is suspected
of murdering her husband, that’s what she thought.
Emily: She gave me documents of her husband’s sexting messages to Tshidi. She was really
snooping around, no doubt. I don’t get it, why would Tshidi cheat on her boyfriend with her
boyfriend’s father? She blames it on stupidity, I think it was all staged.
Gift: Staged?
Emily: I saw the phone number that sent Tshidi the texts in the phone record. The number sent
a text to some number saying, “see you later my friend”.
Gift: (laughs) Michelle is stupid, she is stupid. It’s evident that she is the one that sent the texts
to Tshidi and Tshidi was co-operating.
Emily: Was Majola really paying her the huge chunk of money for her mother’s surgery?
Gift: We have to set up an interview with Tshidi. I can get her to speak, I will go hard on her.
We have concrete evidence.
Emily: We have been far too kind with them.
Gift: Yes.
Emily: Bongani is another case, I will interview him again. He is a tough nut to crack but I will
eventually get through to him.
Gift: We are slowly heading to the light.
Emily: Yes.
Gift: I think we should go out and grab a couple of beers after work.
Emily: Then we drive under the influence? Great stuff.
Gift: Or we can drink at my place, maybe you can spend the night at my house. You will look
really good on my bedside.
Emily: Nice try buddy.
Gift: Why are you like this?
Emily: I don’t mix work with pleasure.
Gift: You’re boring.
Emily: Thank you very much.
Gift: (laughs) Give me credit.
Emily: You’re a charming man but you’re not my cup of tea.
Gift: Ouch.
Emily: Cheer up, I’m joking (laughs).
Gift: Your sense of humour is weird, you know that? (stands) come here.
Emily: What?
Gift: Come here (wraps his hands around Emily’s waist)
Emily: This is awkward.
Gift: You’re beautiful.
Emily: Thank you.
Gift kissed Emily, the two held onto each other.

Back in the lab, Lorenzo made a surprise visit.

Lorenzo: Hey buddy.

Vusi: What a surprise, how can I help you?
Lorenzo: I was in the neighbourhood and I decided to pop in.
Vusi: Okay, make yourself at home.
Lorenzo: Heard from Em’?
Vusi: No, did she say anything to you?
Lorenzo: No, she and Gift left.
Vusi: Maybe they went to interview people.
Lorenzo: No interviews today, they were really cosy today. Maybe they decided to cut their day
short and went home.
Vusi: Is that even allowed?
Lorenzo: It’s Emily and Gift, dude.
Vusi: You make it sound like they’re this power couple or something.
Lorenzo: I’m just worried, she didn’t talk to me since the morning. They’ve been in Gift’s office
for most of their day until they disappeared.
Vusi: I didn’t hear from her since morning too.
Lorenzo: I don’t know what’s wrong with Emily man, I know she wants to help but she’s holding
back.
Vusi: Speaking of the video, I caught the cleaner snooping around in one of the rooms. She got
a fright when I entered the room.
Lorenzo: Cleaner?
Vusi: Yeah, the cleaners have nothing to lose man, they can accept any bribe to steal the files.
Lorenzo: What are cleaners doing in the rooms? I will speak to the person in charge after this
conversation, we can’t have files missing again.
Vusi: I told her to tell her colleagues to never enter the rooms. Man, tell me, who is the person
that shot the video? Was it a cleaner or an assistant or a security guard?
Lorenzo: Man…
Vusi: Emily didn’t want to reveal this source as if she was going to help me. I’m tired of waiting
around for her –
Lorenzo: (interrupts) Give her a bit of time, okay? I swear she will help you.
Vusi: I don’t need her help anymore. I can hire a private investigator.
Lorenzo: Are you insane?
Vusi: Are you going to help me then?
Lorenzo: (quiet)
Vusi: Thought so too!
Lorenzo: Lower you voice man.
Vusi: Sorry man. I don’t understand why this person will shoot this video and not show other
people but you and Emily. What did the person want to achieve? What? I’m still working, I’m not
fired.
Lorenzo: I also don’t know man.
Vusi: This is crazy. This is really insane.
Lorenzo: Look man, I will speak to Emily when I see her.
Vusi: She doesn’t want to get involved, leave her alone.
Lorenzo: I will try my luck, again.
Vusi: (shrugs)
Lorenzo: Okay man, see you around.
Vusi: Okay man.

The time was 8pm. Emily invited Gift for dinner but he was late.

Joseph: Maybe he’s not coming.

Emily: He will be here.
Joseph: You’ve been saying that for the past 30 minutes.
Emily: Dad you’re not helping me.
Joseph: Why are we even having supper with this Gift guy?
Emily: He’s a nice guy, give him a chance.
Joseph: You seem to be in a good mood.
Emily: I’m just happy that we’re discovering new exciting things about the Majola case.
Joseph: Really?
Emily: Dad, I have this dilemma that I’m faced with at work. You do know Vusi, right?
Joseph: Of course, he really is a nice guy. I like him, when can I see him again?
Emily: (rolls eyes) He –

There was a knock on the door, Emily went to answer and it was Gift, he gave her a bouquet of
flowers and wine. Gift entered the house and Emily guided him to the dinner table. Emily went to
dish up.

Gift and Joseph were the only ones seated around the dinner table.

Gift: (sits down) Good evening Mr Tontho.

Joseph: Good evening.
Gift: I brought some red wine, I heard how you like red wine.
Joseph: Yes I do.
Gift: I also like red wine, ever went for wine tasting?
Joseph: No.
Gift: You should go some time, it’s so fun.
Joseph: Oh.
Gift: The last wine tasting I went to was in Stellenbosch, Cape Town last year. Now that I think
of it, it’s been a long time.
Joseph: (quiet)
Gift: I have to say, your daughter talks about you a lot, she loves you very much and she looks
up to you.
Joseph: I know that.
Gift: Did she tell you about me?
Joseph: What about you?
Gift: Anything?
Joseph: The last time she was stressed was because of you. She told me how much she hated
being your partner and how bad you treated her.
Gift: I never treated her badly, the feeling was mutual – we were at each other’s throat when we
first met, I don’t blame her. Sir, apart from that did she mention anything?
Joseph: No.
Gift: Okay. (looks around) Is that you? (points at a picture on the wall).
Joseph: That’s me, when I was about your age.
Gift: Nice.
Joseph: I arrested someone on that day, I can remember like it was yesterday. I successfully
completed my first big case, I was getting ready to celebrate with my mates.
Gift: That’s great! You were truly a great detective, especially in that time when black people
were oppressed. You paved the way for us, thank you.
Joseph: I loved my job, I dedicated everything to my job.

Emily placed food on the table.

Emily: What were you two talking about?

Gift: Your father was telling me about that picture.
Emily: That’s my favourite picture. Did he tell you that he took that picture the same day he
completed his first big case?
Gift: Yes.
Emily: I always joke with him and say I will also take a picture the day I complete this Majola
case.
Joseph: You can, if you do, it will be placed right there next to mine.
Emily: (laughs)
Joseph: How’s the case going?
Emily: (looks at Gift) Great.
Gift: We’re getting there.
Joseph: Okay.
Emily: I have to tell you something dad.
Joseph: You’re pregnant?
Emily: Not at all, no. I…I sort of told…well, I told Gift about the file you gave me. I also told him
the truth about his dad.
Joseph: Emily I don’t want more people to get involved in this.
Gift: Don’t worry Mr Tontho, I went to ask my father and he acted defensive. He grabbed me by
my shirt, he said I betrayed him and he told me to leave his house. I asked him why he was
getting emotional, if he didn’t do it, he would’ve been calm and tell me that he didn’t do that. I
was convinced my dad did it.
Joseph: The reason why I say your dad did it was because a friend of mine told me that your
dad asked him where he can buy drugs for research. After I was expelled, my friend told me and
I put two and two together. He said he didn’t know whether he did it but he felt the need to let
me know.
Emily: I know years have passed by but I believe your name deserves to be cleared. You were
a good detective, I want people to remember you by your truly amazing work rather than a man
who got expelled for drug smuggling.
Joseph: I don’t care anymore.
Emily: Dad, you do care. I know how much you still love your job.
Joseph: It’s better if I leave with it rather than be bitter my entire life.
Emily: All I ever wanted was your name to be on the Hall Of Fame cabinet but now I realised, it
doesn’t matter. It wouldn’t make you greater if your name was written on the Hall Of Fame, your
name will forever be written on the hearts’ of the people you helped and those who love you.
Joseph: Thank you baby girl, that’s good to hear.
Emily: One day, Lorenzo came with someone to the office. They showed me a video of Vusi
accepting bribe from a driver of a certain vehicle. Files went missing in the lab and the person
that shot the video said Vusi was responsible. I went to confront Vusi, he denied everything. He
told me that the person in the video was imitating him. He also said he found a dreadlocks wig
in one of the assistant’s locker but the assistant said he went to a dress-up party and forgot to
take the wig home. I doubted Vusi at first but I believe he would never do that –
Gift: (interrupts) You believe him?
Emily: Yes.
Gift: Wow, so you didn’t even care to be impartial?
Emily: Dad, Vusi needs my help – he wants to find the man behind the mask, well he suspects
his assistant. I can’t help him because the captain is watching me like a hawk. I don’t want to
jeopardize my work but I can’t help but think that he jeopardized his job many times for me.
Gift: This is insane.
Joseph: Shut up Gift! Emily my child, what do you want to do?
Emily: I want you to help him.
Joseph: Me?
Emily: Yes, this is that case you have been thirsty for.
Joseph: I don’t know.
Emily: You can do this, dad. I know you can do this, I believe in you.
Joseph: I will think about it.
Gift: You didn’t care to tell me?
Emily: We didn’t want many people to be involved.
Gift: I’m your partner!
Emily: It’s not about you Gift!
Gift: So this is how you’re going to act around your father?
Joseph: My child was in a good mood, don’t ruin her mood. If you can’t talk, leave my house.
Gift: (stands) I thought we were getting somewhere Emily.
Emily: Were you going to help? I know how you dislike Vusi.
Gift: You have to make a choice, is it this case or the Vusi case?
Emily: Are you stupid? I said I won’t jeopardize my job, my dad will help him.
Gift: Can I speak to you outside?
Emily: Anything you want to say, you have to say in front of my father!
Gift: It’s like that now?
Emily: I’m sorry, Gift but…
Gift: I have to leave, see you at work. I will set up the interviews. It was nice to meet you Mr
Tontho, enjoy the rest of your evening (leaves)

#7 Who Killed Majola?

The next morning, Lorenzo and Emily were watching an online video in the cafeteria. Gift was
making himself a cup of coffee.

Lorenzo: (whispers) What’s wrong with him?

Emily: (shrugs)
Lorenzo: I went to see Vusi yesterday, speaking of yesterday, where did you and Gift disappear
to?
Emily: You went to see Vusi? Is everything okay?
Lorenzo: Yes, so where did you and Gift disappear to?
Emily: We went to my house to finish our work.
Lorenzo: The workplace isn’t good enough?
Emily: Yesterday wasn’t a busy day, okay? Stop asking me these questions.
Lorenzo: Don’t bite my head off, I was worried about you.
Emily: I’m really sorry, I’m not feeling well today.
Lorenzo: How are you going to do the interviews then?
Emily: Maybe I will be okay.

Vusi walked into the cafeteria.

Vusi: Good morning everyone.

Lorenzo + Emily: Good morning.
Vusi: Yesterday a man recognized me from the crime scene and he asked me to organise a
meeting with you.
Emily: Did he say what his name was?
Vusi: Fred, he said he once spoke to you.
Emily: I remember him, he is one of the witnesses I spoke to at the crime scene.
Vusi: Here is his phone number (hands card)
Emily: Okay, thanks.

Gift went over to Emily.

Gift: Are you ready for the interviews?

Emily: Now?
Gift: No, tomorrow, of course now!
Emily: I will be there, wait for me in the car.
Gift: Don’t take your time.
Vusi: (whispers to Lorenzo) someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
Gift: Anything you want to say on my face boy?
Vusi: Who are you calling a boy?
Gift: This filth standing right in front of me.
Emily: Timeout guys!
Gift: Do you know why I’m calling you a boy? Ask why?
Vusi: I won’t entertain this bullshit.
Gift: Because you can’t fight your own battles you thief!
Emily: Gift stop it, please.
Vusi: So I’m a thief now?
Gift: You stole the files, asshole!
Lorenzo: Woah, okay guys let’s drop it right there.
Gift: Listen to me carefully boy, you will be behind bars by the end of this week.
Emily: Gift please!
Gift: You are nothing but a useless piece of shit. You don’t have any balls.
Emily: Gift let’s go! Now!
Gift: Let’s go, his presence was starting to make my skin crawl.

Emily and Gift left.

Lorenzo: Don’t mind him, he’s just an angry bastard.

Vusi: She didn’t even look at me.
Lorenzo: Let it go bro.
Vusi: I thought I knew Emily but I was mistaken.
Lorenzo: Leave her man.
Vusi: I need to go.
Lorenzo: Drive safe man.
Vusi: Alright man, see you when I see you.
Lorenzo: Probably today.
Vusi: Okay, take care.
Lorenzo: Yeah man, drive safe.

Emily and Gift separately conducted their interviews with Tshidi and Bongani.

Joseph went to the laboratory. The workers there who are familiar with him welcomed him with
open arms. Vusi was surprised to see Joseph. They went to a quiet room.
Vusi: Sir, what can I do for you? What a pleasant surprise.
Joseph: Feels like ages since I been here. Nothing has changed, at all.
Vusi: Can I get you anything?
Joseph: No thanks, I’m fine. I just came to speak to you.
Vusi: If this is about Emily, I’m sorry but I –
Joseph: It’s about you. Emily told me everything, she asked me to help you.
Vusi: She did?
Joseph: Yes.
Vusi: And you agreed?
Joseph: Why not.
Vusi: Sir, really? Oh my, really?
Joseph: You’re a nice guy, you don’t deserve all of this. I believe you’re innocent, Emily also
believes you’re innocent.
Vusi: Wow, she does? She has been giving me a hard time.
Joseph: Deep down she cares deeply for you.
Vusi: I like her, I like her a lot and I would do anything for her. We just not gelling these days,
she’s always with her partner. I know she has a case to take care of but I miss our small talks.
Joseph: You remind me a lot about myself when I was your age. The first time I saw you, I
could see in your eyes that you liked my daughter.
Vusi: I wouldn’t say the same for her.
Joseph: Have you told her how you feel?
Vusi: To be quite honest, I haven’t told anyone but you about this.
Joseph: I suggest you tell her. How about you come over for dinner this evening?
Vusi: Uhm…
Joseph: I won’t take no for an answer.
Vusi: Okay.
Joseph: See you there.
Vusi: Alright.
Joseph: I have to go, see you.
Vusi: See you.
The time was around 5pm and Emily was waiting for the witness, Fred at a small restaurant.

Fred: (takes a seat) Sorry I’m late.

Emily: It’s okay. I almost forgot about you.
Fred: I know it’s been a while. I found something right where that guy was standing.
Emily: What is that?
Fred: A necklace.
Emily: Let me see.
Fred: (hands her the necklace) Here.
Emily: Looks like it belonged to a woman.
Fred: Yeah.
Emily: Can I hold onto this?
Fred: Yes. I also remembered something.
Emily: Yes?
Fred: A day before Majola’s incident, I saw a guy examining the windows outside. I went
outside he left immediately. He was the exact height as the guy I saw the following day.
Emily: Only if you knew how he looks like, we would’ve called in a sketching artist.
Fred: Well, I can’t describe him but I can point him.
Emily: Was he tall?
Fred: He was average, maybe 5’6 tall.
Emily: Okay, anything you want to add?
Fred: No.
Emily: Thank you Fred.
Fred: It’s only a pleasure detective.

#8 Who Killed Majola?

After the interviews, Emily went home. When she got home, she saw Vusi and her father
chatting on the dinner table.
Joseph: Hey baby girl, Vusi helped me cook, come join us.
Emily: What are you doing here?
Joseph: I invited him for dinner.
Vusi: Your father told me everything, thank you very much.
Joseph: We went through the video and everything is coming together.
Emily: I can’t have dinner, I already have plans.
Joseph: Plans?
Emily: Yes, I’m meeting Gift.
Joseph: Why do you waste your time with him?
Emily: He’s my partner.
Joseph: I was hoping we could all eat dinner together.
Emily: Maybe some other time, I have to take a quick shower. Enjoy your dinner (leaves)
Joseph: I tried.
Vusi: It’s alright. She’s a big girl.

Emily went to meet up with her older brother, Bantu in a restaurant. He was already waiting for
her. It has been a long time since they saw each other. Emily just ran into his arms and she
wept.

Bantu: I’m sorry, Emily.

Emily: I’ve missed you.
Bantu: I’ve missed you too. I’m sorry that you got caught up into this drama between me and
dad.
Emily: I’m tired of this drama Bantu, can’t you and dad just get over your differences? We need
each other.
Bantu: If he wanted to talk to me, he would’ve called me ages ago.
Emily: He’s been waiting for your phone call too, it’s pointless Bantu, don’t you see?
Bantu: I don’t want to talk about him. Let’s talk about work, I see you’re investigating the
biggest case at the moment.
Emily: Yeah, it’s really tough but I’m always up for a challenge.
Bantu: I’m really proud of you, when I saw in the News, I was like, ‘that’s my little sister’.
Seriously, I’m really proud of you. Mom is undoubtedly proud of you.
Emily: (smiles)
There was a lot of catching up to do with the two siblings, they chatted the evening away.

A few days later, Joseph and Vusi pieced together everything. They went to Emily’s workplace,
she was in the cafeteria with Lorenzo and Gift.

Emily: Dad what are you doing here?

Joseph: You have to go and arrest Jack, he’s responsible for the missing files.
Emily: Do you have substantial evidence?
Vusi: We have overwhelming evidence.
Lorenzo: Great work sir!
Gift: We have to get going then.
Emily: What did you find?
Joseph: The person who was recording this video was asked by Jack to do so, it was a cleaner.
We cornered the cleaner, she admits that Jack asked her to record and he gave her money.
Gift: I don’t understand, who did he give the files to?
Vusi: That’s what we’re trying to find out. Let’s get moving.

Emily, Gift, Vusi and Joseph all drove to the laboratory.

Michelle went to the station. She saw Lorenzo working in his office, she entered his office.

Michelle: Hey sexy.

Lorenzo: Can I help you?
Michelle: (sits) Yes.
Lorenzo: If you’re looking for Emily or Gift, you just missed them.
Michelle: I’m not looking for them, I just wanted to talk to you.
Lorenzo: About?
Michelle: Security.
Lorenzo: Excuse me?
Michelle: I need protection, my family needs protection.
Lorenzo: Hire a bodyguard then.
Michelle: I want you to organise a security force for me and my family, we are not safe.
Lorenzo: I can’t help you, sorry.
Michelle: Do you want me to talk to your boss?
Lorenzo: Go ahead.
Michelle: The police are supposed to protect people, I need protection.
Lorenzo: From what?
Michelle: I buried my husband, people know that there’s no father figure in that house and it’s
only a matter of time till someone takes advantage.
Lorenzo: You’re paranoid.
Michelle: (stands) Why are you being so difficult?
Lorenzo: Look, I have tons of work to do.
Michelle: I will talk to your boss (leaves)

Back at the laboratory, Jack was busy on the computer.

Vusi: Jack.
Jack: What’s up? Can I help you all? What’s going on?
Emily: You’re under arrest for stealing the files that went missing.
Jack: But the files were misplaced.
Gift: We’re taking you to the station for questioning.
Jack: Vusi my brother, how can you sell me like this?
Vusi: I should be asking you this.
Emily: Shut up and get your hands behind your back!
Gift: (handcuffs Jack) Where do you think this is? Huh? Rubbish.

Jack didn’t resist at all. They took him for questioning. Joseph went home and Vusi went back to
work.

On their way to the interrogation room, they came across the captain talking to Michelle.
Captain: What is going on here? Why is the lab assistant handcuffed.
Gift: Sir, this man is responsible for the missing files.
Captain: What?! You’ve been stealing files?
Jack: Sir…it’s a misunderstanding I can surely fix.
Emily: Misunderstanding? You must be out of your mind!
Captain: Okay, you’re going to sort out that but…uhm…Mrs Dlanga needs security for her
family.
Emily: (looks at Gift) We’re just detectives.

Lorenzo was rushing to out when the captain called him.

Captain: Do you want to get fired?

Lorenzo: Sir, I –
Captain: Mrs Dlanga wanted your help but you were rude to her. You do know that we have
jobless people qualified to do the job you don’t want to do? I have tons of CVs in my office as
we speak.
Lorenzo: Sir –
Captain: Go.
Lorenzo: Okay sir (leaves)
Gift: We’re busy at the moment, ask Officer Mthembu to assist her.
Captain: Follow me Mrs Dlanga.

In the interrogation room, Jack was waiting to be interrogated. Emily and Gift were talking
outside.

Gift: Do you believe that woman?

Emily: Michelle is something else.
Gift: Security? She lost it.
Emily: Let’s go inside.

Jack was standing when Emily and Gift entered.

Emily: Take a seat.
Jack: Am I going to jail?
Gift: You deserve to go to jail.
Jack: Please, can we come up with a deal?
Gift: (looks at Emily) Tell us everything.
Jack: I don’t want to go to jail for something like this.
Emily: Well, you shouldn’t have done it.
Jack: Can we come up with a deal?
Gift: Why?
Jack: If you don’t help me, I won’t help you.
Emily: Why do we waste our time then? We should as well lock you up right now.
Jack: Okay – okay – I will speak but I want protection.
Gift: (laughs) What’s up with you people and protection today?
Jack: This person is dangerous if he finds out I snitched, he will send his people to kill me. I
swear, I didn’t do this willingly.
Emily: Yeah right!
Jack: Really, I swear. A red car was following me, I decided to go to the garage hoping the car
will stop following me. When I went to buy something in the garage’s shop, I saw the driver of
the car approaching my car. I ran to my car, he asked if I’m that guy who works in the
laboratory, I said yeah. He drove away and I went home.
Emily: Was this in the evening?
Jack: Yeah. The next morning when I was parking at the lab’s parking lot, I saw the red car.
The man came out of the car and he told me that his boss sent him to look for someone to
assist on the operation. I didn’t know what he was talking about, he explained that his boss
wanted a file but he needed someone working there to help him out. He said I have no choice
but to work with them or else they will kill me and my family. They said if I tell the police, they
will bomb the entire laboratory.
Emily: Why did you ask the cleaning lady to record you accepting bribe and why were you
disguising as Vusi?
Jack: They said I should disguise as someone else, I had a wig I wore to a dress up party and I
decided to wear it. I knew people would think that was Vusi –
Emily: And you don’t care, right?
Gift: Why did you ask the cleaning lady to record and show us?
Jack: I was stupid.
Gift: You are stupid!
Jack: I wasn’t thinking straight, it felt right at that time.
Emily: Who is this person and what did he want to do with the files?
Jack: I also don’t know.
Gift: Talk!
Jack: They didn’t tell me why they wanted the files but that’s all.
Gift: The name! Who’s this person?
Jack: Razor, his name is Razor.
Emily: I want you to call this Razor person, tell him you want to meet him tonight. I will organise
a police force to take him in.
Jack: I will get killed!
Gift: We will protect you.
Jack: I can’t, just arrest me.
Emily: You will.
Gift: We will protect you.
Jack: (cries) I can’t, sorry. I have a family to take care of, I’m a married man. They don’t
deserve to live their life without me.
Emily: No life will be lost, we assure you.
Gift: These people deserve to be behind bars. Help us and we will help you.
Jack: Okay, if you promise to keep me safe.
Emily: We promise you.
Jack: Okay, I will give him a call.

In the evening, Emily was preparing supper. She was happy.

Joseph: It’s good to see you jolly.

Emily: I appreciate you, my colleagues, family and everyone in my life.
Joseph: (smiles) We appreciate you too. Tell me, what’s the special occasion?
Emily: You helping Vusi and capturing the bad guy.
Joseph: I was going to ask about him, is he in jail?
Emily: He told us everything, I’m just waiting for his phone call anytime now (checks phone)
Joseph: Phone call?
Emily: It’s a set up.
Joseph: Set up?

There was a knock on the door.

Emily: It’s a long story dad.

Emily went to open the door, it was her older brother. He came inside, Joseph was amazed.

Emily: I invited him. Remember when Vusi came over for dinner? I lied I wasn’t going out with
Gift, I went to meet up with Bantu.
Bantu: I gave it some thought, we do need each other.
Joseph: Good evening son.
Bantu: Good evening dad. I’m sorry, for everything.
Joseph: And I also apologise for everything.

Emily’s phone rang, it was Jack. She answered the phone in her room. Jack said the man was
15mins away. Emily called Officer Mthembu to alert the force. She left the house, she gave Gift
a call.

#9 Who Killed Majola?

It was dark outside. Jack was in his car, a loud knock on his window gave him a fright.

Jack: Hey Razor, you gave me a fright.

Razor: You wanted to see me. What’s good?
Jack: Hey man, I just wanted to ask if there’s anything you want.
Razor: Nah, it’s all good man. Was that all?
Jack: Can you chill with me for a while?
Razor: Man I got business to take care of. What’s up with you?
Jack: I just need someone to talk to.
Razor: I’m not your friend bro.
Jack: Are you sure you don’t have –
Razor: Our business with you is done. You helped us, we appreciate that but it’s over bro.
Jack: I know man. What did you do with the file?
Razor: I don’t know what he did.
Jack: You mean you don’t know at all?
Razor: What did I just say? Look, I have to leave.
Jack: Now?
Razor: Can I ask you something?
Jack: Yeah, what?
Razor: Do you have a crush on me? Are you gay?
Jack: Me? Gay? No!
Razor: I’m leaving.
Jack: Wait –

Police cars rushed to the parking lot followed by Emily and Gift.

Razor: What is happening?

Jack: I don’t know man.
Razor: Did you set me up?
Jack: Me? No! Why would I?
Razor: Why did you call me then? You set me up! You will pay for this.
Jack: I didn’t! I promise!
Razor: I’m not stupid!

Emily and Gift went out of their cars.

Gift: So this is Razor? Wow, Mandla.

Razor: Hey bro, what’s good?
Emily: You know each other?
Gift: I used to go to school with this guy. Are you good man?
Razor: Yeah bro, we should catch up some time.
Emily: But we have to first take you in for questioning.
Razor: What?
Emily: Hands behind your back and shut up.
Razor: I won’t let a woman tell me to shut up, Gift talk to your girlfriend.
Gift: I’ll take care of this Emily, you may go to your car.

Emily went to her car.

Gift: We need to take you in –

Razor: For what?
Gift: The files Jack stole for you.
Razor: I knew he’s responsible for this, damn!
Gift: If you could help us –
Razor: I’m not a snitch.
Gift: Do you want to go to jail?
Razor: I been there before, I would rather be there than snitch on my people.
Gift: Mandla, let’s not make this hard.
Razor: Take me in, I don’t care but someone is going to take care of this snitch.
Gift: Hands behind your back.
Razor: Leave me alone.

Gift grabbed Razor and he handcuffed him.

Razor: You’re a cop now, huh?

Gift: I’m a detective but I’m not afraid to get my hands dirty.
Razor: I won’t snitch.
Razor was locked up.

The next day, Gift and Emily were interrogating Razor.

Emily: You’ve been saying, ‘I don’t snitch’ for an hour now.

Razor: I don’t snitch.
Gift: Okay Mandla, you don’t snitch but what if I ask how much?
Razor: How much is what?
Gift: Come on, everyone has a price.
Emily: (whispers) What are you doing?
Gift: (whispers) I know what I’m doing.
Razor: I don’t want anything from you.
Gift: Come on Mandla –
Razor: No one messes with the boss.
Gift: We will protect you.
Razor: I don’t need your protection.
Emily: Don’t make things harder for us. Tell us what you know. What happened to the files and
who are you working for?
Razor: Take me back to the cell, I can’t do this.
Gift: Do you want to go back to jail?
Razor: It’s the least I could do.
Gift: You still have a choice.
Razor: And I already made up my mind.
Gift: Okay.
Emily: What a waste of time, let’s go.

Razor was taken back to the cells.

Days ago, Emily and Gift tried to set up an interview with Majola’s lawyer but it was said that he
went overseas for a trip that will last for a few days. He was supposed to come back today but
he didn’t. His friends and family tried to get ahold of him but he doesn’t answer his phone which
is odd of him, as his family describe.

A man was directed to Gift’s office. He was the lawyer’s brother. His name was Trevor.

Gift: Talk to me.

Trevor: I called the hotel my brother was supposed to be in and they said nobody by the name
of Phillip Ndaba. The guy that was expecting to meet him called the company my brother works
for but they said it’s been days since he went to work. The whole family is worried, we’re
thinking of opening a missing person’s case.
Gift: Your brother ever done this before?
Trevor: No.
Gift: When was the last time you saw your brother.
Trevor: A day after Majola’s funeral.
Gift: Who was he with?
Trevor: He went there alone, I met him there.
Gift: Did he leave with someone?
Trevor: I left first but he was speaking to Michelle when I left.
Gift: Did you ask her?
Trevor: Yes, she says the last time she saw him was at the funeral.
Gift: Let’s not rush and opening a missing person’s case as yet. Maybe he doesn’t want to be
found. I will let my partner know. Was he himself when you last spoke to him?
Trevor: Obviously not because it was his friend’s funeral. Otherwise he was okay.
Gift: Okay sir, I will let you know when we find anything.
Trevor: Alright, thank you.

Gift told Emily everything Trevor told him. They were notified that Razor wanted to see them.
They went to the interrogation room.

Emily: Ready to speak now?

Razor: I heard my grandmother passed away. She raised me, I have to be there for my family. I
want to tell you what I know.
Gift: (looks at Emily) Tell us.
Emily: (sits) Tell us everything you know, who’s your boss?
Razor: Eric Johnson aka Blade.
Gift: Blade? He was arrested multiple times for possession of drugs.
Razor: I gave him the file, I don’t know what he did with it.
Emily: Why did he want the file?
Razor: He didn’t tell me but I overheard him saying he wanted to get rid of the evidence.
Gift: What? I checked the files that went missing, everything is still there.
Emily: Let me call Vusi, I want him to double check if what’s on paper matches what’s on the
computer (leaves the room)
Gift: I’m happy you wanted to talk, thank you.
Razor: I’m doing this for my grandmother.
Gift: Condolences to you and your family.

Emily gave Vusi a call and he told her that the findings have been manipulated but he had
backup.

Emily went inside.

Emily: You won’t believe this. The results were manipulated.

Gift: What?!
Emily: But Vusi says he has backup. Thanks to his forward thinking.
Gift: We have to arrest Blade.
Razor: Good luck with that.
Emily: We have to arrest him after this.
Razor: Does that mean I’m off the hook?
Gift: If you work hand-in-hand with us, you might be off the hook.
Razor: I will but I have to rush home.
Gift: Our people will follow you just in case you think of leaving the city.
Razor: I would never do that.
The police went to arrest Blade, he was eating in a restaurant. He was taken to the station
where he had to wait in the interrogation room. Gift and Emily went in.

Blade: Can’t a man have their lunch quietly with no disturbance?!

Gift: You manipulated the evidence.
Blade: Excuse me?
Emily: Stop acting dumb, you know what we’re talking about.
Blade: No I didn’t, do you have proof that I did it?
Gift: You knew Majola?
Blade: Everyone knew the mighty Majola, he’s my brother-in-law.
Emily: He is?
Blade: Yes, he married my little sis.
Gift: This just became interesting. Was your sister involved in the murder somehow?
Blade: My sister isn’t a murderer!
Emily: Why would you hire someone to steal the evidence?
Blade: Because I’m Blade.
Gift: Who’s your boss?
Blade: I’m my own boss.
Gift: You hired someone to steal the file for someone. Who is it?
Blade: Me.
Emily: Is it Michelle?
Blade: I said me.
Gift: Do you want us to find the person who killed your brother-in-law?
Blade: Of course but this case has been going on for too long now, I don’t have faith. Maybe
you guys should quite your jobs because you suck at your jobs.
Emily: We will arrest you for being an accessory to murder, how’s that?
Blade: No you can’t.
Emily: We can if you don’t tell us the truth.
Gift: Man I know you’ve been in jail many times and the highest sentence you’ve served was 3
years. We’re talking about 20+ years.
Emily: Did you kill Majola?
Blade: No.
Emily: Are you willing to go to jail for years for something you didn’t do?
Blade: Of course not. Look, I was asked by Bongani, okay? That’s it, can I leave now? I told
you the name.
Gift: Which Bongani?
Blade: Dlanga.
Gift: Majola’s son?
Blade: Yeah man, that’s all I did, nothing more. You have to believe me and my sister wasn’t
involved.
Emily: How sure are you?
Blade: He said I must not tell her.
Gift: We’re keeping you here until further notice.
Blade: What?! I told you what you wanted to know which is the truth! You can’t keep me here!
Gift: Calm down Mr Eric Johnson, we will keep you here until we find out the truth.
Blade: When is that? 10 years? You can’t do this! I want to speak to my lawyer.
Emily: You have a right to do that.
Gift: Let’s go Emily.

Emily and Gift went to Majola’s house to arrest Bongani. When they got there, Bongani was with
his girlfriend.

Bongani: Hello?
Emily: We’re taking you to the station for questioning for manipulating the evidence, you –
Bongani: Are you crazy? I’m not going anywhere!
Gift: Resisting arrest isn’t making anything easy.
Bongani: At least let me grab something to wear, you may come in and make yourselves
comfortable.

Emily and Gift went in and they sat down.

Tshidi: Can I get you anything to drink?

Emily: I’m fine thanks.
Gift: I’m also fine.

They waited for Bongani for more than 20mins, they asked Emily to check up on him and he
was gone. They went to look for him around the neighbourhood and they didn’t see him. It was
evident that he was guilty of something.

The whole day was spent trying to find Bongani, the police were everywhere.

In the evening, Emily was getting ready to leave when Tshidi came to her office.

Emily: Tshidi what are you doing at this time of the night?
Tshidi: I can’t live like this, I want to go back to my old life without drama.
Emily: What are you talking about?
Tshidi: I’m talking about the lies.
Emily: Sit down.
Tshidi: (sits) When I heard that my mother needed to do surgery, I didn’t know where I could
get the money. I couldn’t ask Majola, he bought me a bakery, that would be asking a lot from
him. I told my boyfriend and somehow Michelle found out and she gave me this great offer. She
said I should help her with something and she will give me R55 000, I couldn’t say no. Those
messages to Majola were fake, she used a phone number that Majola used to use. I’m sorry,
I’m really sorry.
Emily: Do you know why she did that?
Tshidi: I have no idea why but I know of an affair she had with Majola’s lawyer. When Majola
found out, there were talks of divorce.
Emily: Why didn’t you say this before?
Tshidi: She threatened me, she said she will hurt my family if I uttered anything to the police.
Emily: Thank you for this useful information. You have to act normal, tomorrow we will arrest
her.
Tshidi: Alright.
Emily: Thank you and good night.
Emily was happy with this valuable information, she told Gift. Who killed Majola was going to be
found soon.

#10 Who Killed Majola?

The next day, Michelle was arrested and taken to the police station. She was in the interrogation
room, Emily and Gift walked in.

Michelle: You ruined my morning.

Emily: Did you see your brother? He’s here too.
Michelle: Brother?
Emily: Eric Johnson aka Blade.
Michelle: Oh, that fool. He’s my half-brother. What is he doing here?
Emily: He hired someone to steal the Majola file that contained the evidence.
Michelle: What was he going to do with the file?
Gift: Bongani.
Michelle: Bongani?! What was he going to do with the file? Wow, I didn’t know.
Emily: Do you know what we know though? We know that you lied about Tshidi and Majola
exchanging texts. We also know that you had an affair with Majola’s lawyer who happens to be
missing. Did you, Bongani and this lawyer kill Majola?
Michelle: No! I will admit I did some mistakes in the past but –
Emily: Did you have a part to play in this murder?
Michelle: No, please believe me.
Gift: Michelle why did you lie about Tshidi and Majola?
Michelle: When Majola found out I cheated on him again, he said he’s going to divorce me and
ditch Phillip. I knew he was going to change his will testament and write me off, I wanted
something that will stop that from happening. When we got married, Majola didn’t sign a prenup.
My friend told me if Majola was going to write me off the will testament, I had to fight him. I had
to get substantial evident that will at least get me support money every month even though he
wrote me off.
Emily: Every month? I never heard of that.
Gift: The only law I know is criminal law.
Michelle: My friend told me that she did that and she at least got 30% of after her husband
wrote her off the will testament.
Emily: It makes perfect sense why you would want him out of the picture.
Michelle: Many people say I killed Majola, it really hurts me a lot. People think that I’m
heartless, I only care about myself – well, I do care about myself because nobody really cares
about me. I raised myself, I taught myself everything I know now. Growing up I told myself that I
deserve a wealthy man because I have been through hell. I have standards, people have called
me a gold digger numerous times but I don’t care. Just because I have an expensive taste
doesn’t mean I’m a gold digger, it simply means that I know what I want. I won’t lie, that past few
months have been hell in my marriage but I truly loved Majola.
Gift: Where is Phillip?
Michelle: I last saw him at the funeral, we spoke and he disappeared.
Emily: Have you spoken to Bongani?
Michelle: No, I heard he ran away. It’s evident that he had a part to play in Majola’s death.
Gift: And you don’t?
Michelle: Not at all. I’m telling the truth, it may look like I don’t show remorse but that’s me. I
want you guys to find Bongani, lock him up and throw the keys.
Emily: How was Bongani’s relationship with Phillip?
Michelle: I won’t say they were friends, it was okay.
Emily: Do you know Bongani’s friends?
Michelle: Bongani’s friends are studying in different cities but there’s Tyler, he lives in the
neighbourhood.
Gift: Can you give us directions?
Michelle: Yes.
Gift: Let’s go.

Michelle directed them to Tyler’s house. Tyler was playing Xbox when Emily and Gift visited
him.

Gift: Hello Tyler.

Tyler: Hey.
Gift: I’m Gift Mda, this is Emily Tontho and we’re detectives. We’re investigating the Majola
case and we would like to ask you a few questions.
Tyler: Okay.
Emily: When was the last time you spoke to Bongani?
Tyler: He texted me a few minutes ago.
Gift: What did he write?
Tyler: Uhm…he said he was visiting his grandmother’s place.
Emily: Can we see the phone?
Tyler: Okay (hands the phone)
Emily: (reads the messages) We can track him down.
Gift: Yes.
Emily: We will hang unto this for a few hours, if you don’t mind.
Tyler: I don’t.
Gift: If you have another phone, don’t alert him, okay?
Tyler: I won’t do that, sir.
Emily: Did you usually visit Majola’s house?
Tyler: Not too often because I moved out a few months ago. I just came home to visit my
parents but they’re at work right now. When I still lived here, I did visit Majola’s house more
often.
Emily: When last did you talk to Majola?
Tyler: A day before he was brutally murdered. He was a really cool man, he liked making jokes
and he was a great father and very, very, very protective of his daughters.
Gift: Ever experienced his protective ways?
Tyler: One day I was over at his house, his daughter came with his boyfriend and he chased
him away.
Emily: Did you know Athabile’s boyfriend?
Tyler: Not personally, but I know him. I forgot his name, I think he’s Mark or Marcus, I don’t
know.
Emily: Thank you for your time.
Tyler: I know this is none of my business but did Bongani do anything wrong?
Emily: We also want to find out.
Tyler: Oh.
Emily: Goodbye Tyler.
Tyler: Bye, take care.

Emily called Athabile to ask her where her boyfriend lived. She gave her the directions. They
drove to Marcus’ house. He was wearing a blue overaller, fixing a car.
Gift: Marcus –
Marcus: Am I in trouble?
Gift: You must be Marcus.
Marcus: Yeah, who needs to know?
Gift: I’m Gift, this is my partner Emily. We’re detectives –
Marcus: What do you want?
Gift: We want to ask you a few questions.
Marcus: I’m busy.
Emily: It won’t take long.
Marcus: Ask.
Gift: Can you stop what you’re doing?
Marcus: You have to be quick because I need to get somewhere.
Emily: Is this your car?
Marcus: Yeah, it’s really old that’s why I’m fixing it. Let’s go sit on the stairs.

They went to sit on the stairs.

Gift: You’re dating Majola’s daughter, right?

Marcus: Yeah.
Gift: It must be hard dating a big shot’s daughter.
Marcus: There’s no challenge I don’t endure.
Gift: How was your relationship with Majola?
Marcus: I was in a relationship with his daughter not him. He was trying his best to stop the
relationship from happening but his daughter loves me.
Emily: Do you?
Marcus: She’s my world, I love her. She’s not like the girls I used to date in the past.
Emily: Probably because she had a rich father.
Marcus: You’re trying to say I dated her because of Majola’s wealth?
Emily: Is that how you interpreted what I said?
Marcus: What else did you mean?
Gift: So going to Majola’s house was off limits, I can imagine?
Marcus: Yeah, I only went there twice. First time when she asked me to accompany her and
the second time when I went to tell him how much I love his daughter.
Emily: Did he doubt you?
Marcus: Yes, to him I was a nobody. Just a poor coloured boy probably. I know men like him
want their daughters to date rich guys or guys who had rich fathers. I just live in this house and I
drive that car. I’m average.

Emily stood up, she went to check the car. Marcus quickly stood up.

Marcus: Hey! Hey! Hey! Get away from the car.

Emily: What are you hiding?
Marcus: Nothing, okay? I sprayed that car, those toxins will get you sick detective. I covered
myself with a gas mask.
Emily: Pretty old car.
Marcus: Yeah it is, can we go back to the stairs.
Emily: Why are you rushing me like you’re hiding something?
Marcus: I’m not hiding anything.
Emily: Can I search your car?
Marcus: Why would you do that?
Emily: If you don’t have anything to hide, you would let me.
Marcus: You can’t.
Emily: There’s something you’re hiding.
Marcus: Leave my car alone!
Emily: That’s it, Gift let’s search this car.
Marcus: Please, there’s nothing you will find here.

Emily and Gift searched Marcus’ car they saw nothing. Emily saw papers hidden on the roof of
the car inside. She took the papers and Marcus ran. Gift chased him but he was too fast, they
got into the car and they chased him by car. While in pursuit, Emily saw that the papers were
Majola’s will testament.
They managed to corner Marcus, Gift handcuffed him. He didn’t want to tell them what the
papers were doing with him.

When they got to the station, Emily called Fred to check if Marcus was the guy he was talking
about. When Fred got to the police station, they lined up suspects. Fred recognised Marcus and
he confirmed that it was him.

Officer Mthembu and Vusi were trying to track down Bongani using Tyler’s phone and the recent
messages he sent him. They even tried to act like Tyler but he didn’t respond to the texts.

Marcus was in the interrogation room.

Gift: Tell us everything.

Marcus: He never liked me and I never liked him too. When Bongani told me about his master
plan to get rid of him, I liked it. I was going to get some money, a lot of money. I had plans for
that money. The surveillance cameras weren’t working, I was told and we had to work fast. We
weren’t planning to do that then but we took advantaged of the faulty cameras. He gave me the
keys, everyone was out. He told me that he was going to shower then go have dinner with
Michelle. I opened the door then I took out the keys. I hid there for almost an hour, I heard him
enter. I wanted to attack him after he closed the door but I knew he was going to shout. I waited
for him to take a shower, I knew with the water running, no one will hear him. He was about to
shower, the water was running, I attacked him from behind. He fought, his adrenaline was
kicking but I managed to finish him off. I made sure no one saw me leave. Bongani came in and
acted all surprised as we planned. By the end of the day, he transferred money but not the
specified amount but he promised to pay after he got more money from Majola’s account.
Emily: Why do you have Majola’s will testament?
Marcus: I took it from Majola’s lawyer.
Gift: Did Bongani bribe him?
Marcus: If that bastard agreed to take the bribe he would’ve been alive.
Emily: He’s dead?
Marcus: Bongani shot him and I finished him off.
Gift: Where is his body?
Marcus: (laughs) We buried it in the graveyard! Isn’t that funny?
Emily: You’re sick! You’re sick do you know that?
Marcus: I’m a genius!
Emily: Michelle wasn’t involved in any of this?
Marcus: No, she knew nothing. Only the masters were part of this master plan.
Gift: You will rot in hell.
Marcus: (laughs) I will save you a seat.
Emily: Did you speak to Bongani today?
Marcus: No.
Emily: You’re going to jail.
Gift: He’s going to rot in jail.
Marcus: Call the news people, every journalist in the country. I want them to know how genius I
am.
Gift: You’re sick in the head.
Marcus: (laughs) I loved the rush! Ha!

They arrested Marcus. He made headlines, some blogs were apologising for accusing Michelle
of murdering her husband. Athabile and her family couldn’t believe Marcus did such a thing.
Bongani was still missing, posters of him were put up. A reward for anyone who could help find
Bongani was offered. When Phillip’s family and friends found out, they were devastated. His
body was found and returned to the family. He suffered two shots to the head, one to the heart,
another to the chest and three to the stomach.

A week later. Emily and Gift were given medals for their exceptional work. Emily’s father was
also thanked, he received his badges that were stripped off him years ago. Newspapers wanted
a piece of the trio, they didn’t forget to thank everyone that helped with the case. Bongani was
still missing.

Gift invited Emily over to his apartment.

Emily: Nice apartment.

Gift: Thanks, I try.
Emily: (sits) I’m happy that we completed the case.
Gift: That’s why I called you here for, we never really had our own celebration.
Emily: Oh?
Gift: I cooked.
Emily: (laughs) You did what?
Gift: Keep on laughing, you will be surprised when you taste my food.
Emily: Let’s hope you’re not blowing your own horn.
Gift: I’m a great cook.
Emily: Okay, we’ll see.
Gift: Before we eat, I just want to tell you something.
Emily: Yes?
Gift: I think you’re an incredible woman.
Emily: Aaw! Thanks.
Gift: We gave each other a hard time when we first met but we grew closer. You taught me so
much and I’m not just saying that, I mean it. You humbled me, you made me see the bigger
picture. I need someone like that in my life, forever.
Emily: What are you saying?
Gift: I also don’t want to hurt you because I have a reputation for hurting girls, I was told.
Emily: (laughs) Okay?
Gift: What I’m trying to say is, Emily I just want us to be friends and nothing more.
Emily: It’s…It’s fine.
Gift: Are you okay?
Emily: I’ll be okay, okay?
Gift: Please forgive me, you’re an incredible woman. Your dad doesn’t like me at all, I didn’t
want you to choose between me and him. I’ve seen you with him, he’s your number one man in
your life.
Emily: You make it seem like I don’t have my own life.
Gift: No, I’m not saying that. I’m sorry if I led you on.
Emily: I’m sorry if I led you on.
Gift: (laughs) Friends?
Emily: Of course!
Gift: Can we eat now?
Emily: Yes partner.
Gift: I’ll dish up.
After Emily had dinner at Gift’s apartment, Vusi wanted to meet her. They met up in the
laboratory.

Emily: You wanted to meet me, what’s up?

Vusi: Nothing really, I just wanted to share something with. It’s been too long and I think it’s
time.
Emily: Okay?
Vusi: I…I…I like you – very much.
Emily: I like you too, you’re a nice guy.
Vusi: I like you but not in the way you think I like you. Like, I have feelings for you Emily.
Emily: Vusi –
Vusi: I wanted to tell you long time ago but I couldn’t because something always came up. Your
dad also helped me at one point, the last time I went to your house, remember?
Emily: Arg, dad is sneaky.
Vusi: (laughs) I’m grateful for him.
Emily: Yeah well –
Vusi: Do you want to go on a date with me tomorrow?
Emily: Vusi, I don’t want to disappoint you or lead you on. If you didn’t have feelings for
someone and they asked you to go on a date with you, would you go?
Vusi: I don’t think so. I take it that you don’t feel the same way as I do?
Emily: Yes, I’m really truly sorry.
Vusi: Don’t be sorry, everyone gets rejected. It’s part of the human journey.
Emily: I hope this won’t mess up our good friendship.
Vusi: It won’t.
Emily: Good, see you around.
Vusi: Okay.

Bongani’s run was cut short when he was found in another country. Marcus and Majola were
sentenced to life in prison without parole for first degree murder.
Majola’s family each received what Majola left for them. Michelle sold the house, she moved to
another suburb. Tshidi is still running her small bakery shop, her cousins help her run the
bakery. Nomzamo and Patrick got married. Athenkosi was chosen to participate in a soccer
tournament overseas. Athabile still dreams of being a lawyer, she’s studying harder.

Who killed Majola? Bongani, his own son and his daughter’s boyfriend, Marcus. Bongani was
money crazy, he was greedy and jealous of his father’s wealth. Everything was premeditated.
Marcus was also money crazy, he never showed remorse for what he did, he just boasted about
it. They will rot in jail.

The end.