THE MONSTER

I take a deep breath and look at the spot where our gate once stood. I promised

myself that I would never step foot outside our propriety, yet here we are. But if I had to

do it, for my lovely Merricat.

I still can’t figure out how it happened but she got very ill, terrifying ill. At first,

I thought that she was being overdramatic, desperate for my attention. But she just kept

getting worse and worse, and now she can’t even get out of bed. I tried everything, I

cooked her favorite meals and made every tea that I could think of, yet nothing worked.

Poor Jonas hasn’t been doing much great either, his old age finally getting to him. Since

my homemade solutions haven’t had any success, I have no choice but to finally go and

confront my biggest nightmare.

“Just a few more steps” I kept mumbling to myself, “You know Merricat would

do this in a heartbeat for you”.

I hold on to those words as I walk down the road to that horrible village, as if

they were the only thing that was keeping my sanity. Once I get close enough, I take a

small break and gather my thoughts. They have been all over the place and mother hates

messes. For a brief second, I can’t stop myself from gloating at my small achievement.

But once that fleeting moment of happiness, my thoughts are once again overcome with

dread. I can’t help myself but wonder if the villagers recognize me and still blame me

for the ruin of the Blackwoods. Or if I would see him again, the monster of my

nightmares.

I try my best to keep these thoughts at bay and ready myself to confront my

demons. I stand straight and put on my best smile, that never really reaches my eyes. I
do my best to remember everything that my parents taught me about manners and to

remember all of those dreadful meetings with Helen Clarke.

I walk in to the village with as much grace as possible as I can, but as I take my

first step towards the village, all of that confidence vanishes as soon as I sense the first

stares. It was just one or two people who noticed me at first, probably curious about the

new face who decided to bless them with their presence. But then those looks of pure

curiosity, start changing to recognition, and slowly going towards hate and disgust, just

like I feared. When I was younger, people would say that I looked just like my mother

when she was younger, while Merricat resembled our father. It seems like that hasn’t

changed, making something that was I was very proud of, into to something that I can’t

help but absolutely hate.

And then I started to hear the whispers.

“It can’t be.”

“They just never seem to take the hint”

“Dammit, I thought they would’ve died by now.”

It’s been a while since I felt this small and this watched. The last time I felt this

miserable was when I last saw him.

I walk as fast as I can, trying my best to avoid all of these horrible and dreadful

people, but ultimately falling. Every turn I would make to avoid a small group, would

make me get face to face to a bigger gathering, just like the legend of Hydra. It was

Uncle Julian who taught me that, since he always liked telling me the stories of the

Greeks and the Romans, something that my mother despised. She believed that the only

knowledge I needed was different cooking recipes, nothing else. Thinking about them
helped me from not completely crumbling and crying. Despite all of the giggles and the

stares, I refuse to give them the satisfaction of seeing me cry.

After what felt like the longest journey of my life, I managed to reach the

Elbert’s shop. I remember Merricat once telling me that they use to sell different

remedies and medications. I hope that it is still that case, because if not, it would make

all of this for naught.

Once I step in the store, I release a sigh of relief. It seems to just be Mr. Elbert in

the store, and thankfully he still hasn’t recognized me. As I step closer to him, I start to

pray to all of the gods that I know (all taught by Uncle Julian behind my mother’s

back), that it would stay like that.

“Good morning, young lady. How can I help you on this fine day?” He politely

asked. At first, I’m taken back, completely surprised with such common courtesy. I

suddenly hear my mother’s voice saying how it was rude to leave people hanging.

“You see, my lovely sister is very ill and I don’t know what to do” I respond,

doing my best to make sure that I don’t ruin the only pleasant interaction so far. I tell

him all of Merricat’s symptoms, absolutely avoiding saying anything that can make him

put two to two together. While he recommends different types of remedies and

treatments, I started to smile, but this time around with was real. It’s been a very long

since I felt this sense of ease with someone besides Merricat.

I end up buying one of the products that he showed me, wishing that this is the

one that manages to cure my sweet sister. We bid our goodbyes in the most respectful

manner and I turn around. As I’m about to leave, the door opens and a man comes in.

The one man I wished that didn’t. The monster that ruined me.
 We met for the first time a few weeks after the trial. Even though I was

acquitted, people in the village never believed the verdict, sometimes not even I did. I

was a lot braver back then. Even though I know people wouldn’t hide their hate for us

anymore, I would still walk around the village. I would ignore their stares and do one’s

best to live as a free person. At the start, the villagers would only yell crude remarks at a

distance, but as time went by, they would get closer and closer. I do my best to ignore

them, but sometimes a frown would come out paired with a few tears. They would

usually disappear as soon as I remember mom saying that frowning would only make

me have wrinkles, however this time around it didn’t. As an effort to collect myself, I

sat down on a bench near Stella’s and attempt to calm myself down.

After a few minutes, he appeared. Said his name was Henry and asked if he

could sit next to me. I was suspicious at first, but he seemed genuinely concerned, so I

agreed. We just sat there in silence for a while, and then he started talking. Asking me

questions and actually listening for my answers, there were even points where he made

me laugh. As I started to feel better, he asked if I could walk me home and I, once

again, agreed. We spent most of the walk talking with each other, and I even started to

feel like a normal 22-year-old.

A few weeks went by and we kept meeting each other and talking. Each time it

made me happier than before. When I was around him, I would forget all of the hatred

towards me, it was almost like it was just the two of us in this world.

After almost two months, I had fallen head over heels for that man. I was ready

to do almost anything for that man. Until one night where everything changed.

One night I decided to see him in the village. As always, we sat in the bench

where we met for the first time and we talked for hours, with him cracking a few jokes
every few minutes. It was so late that the village almost seemed like a ghost town, the

only sound that you could hear was us talking and me laughing.

After what felt like one of the best nights of my life, I told him it was time for

me to go home. Like always, he asked if he could walk me home and just like

clockwork, I said yes. However, this time something was different.

As we got closer to my propriety, he would get quieter and quieter, as if

something was on his mind. Once we reached the gate, I asked him if I said something

or did something to upset me, just like what my mother would tell me to do. He didn’t

answer me. And then he took one step closer, while I took one step farther. We did this

little dance, until my back was against the stone wall of our gates. Until I had nowhere

to run.

The moment I looked him in the eyes, I didn’t recognize him anymore. The

sweet gentleman that I met a few months ago was long gone, in his place was a beast

looking at his prey. My smile started to falter as he got closer, alarm bells ringing in my

head.

“No, no, no, no…” I whispered as he leaned to kiss me. It seems like he didn’t

hear me.

“Don’t.” I mumble as I try to push his hands away. He probably didn’t hear me

this time either.

“Please…” I say as he rips my clothes. He must’ve heard me this time, but yet

he doesn’t stop.

“Please stop. I don’t want this...” I beg with tears in my eyes. He just smiles.

“STOP!” I yell as he gets his way with me.

 I beg, and I yell, and I cry, but he never stops. It’s almost like I’m not there, as if

I don’t exist. I try to push him away; he just pulls me harder. I try to scratch him or hurt

him; he just pins my hands. I never stood a chance.

Once he was done with me, he just threw me away like a rag doll. And then he

just left. Left me there defenseless and all alone. All I could hear were my cries and

whimpers.

As soon as I got enough strength, I stood up and I slowly went home. Once I got

there, I thanked the gods that I was alone, since Merricat was still in the orphanage and

Uncle Julian was still in the hospital. They didn’t have to see me this way, it would be

very unladylike as my mom would say. My mom would also say that it was my fault,

that I should’ve known better and done better. She would say that no man would ever

love me or want to be with me anymore. That I was no longer a lady. That’s what my

beloved mother would say. Thank God she is dead.

From that day on, I promised myself that I would never go back to the village.

That I would never see him again. And yet, here we are. Face to face.

“Hello Constance” he said.

“Constance?” Mr. Elbert asked.

I just walked out and ran with the groceries in my hand. I ran and never looked

back, with tears running down my face, no longer caring if I looked like a proper lady or

not. I just ran and ran until I couldn’t anymore. I finally reach the spot where our gate

once stood.

“Never again.” I say as I stepped in “Never again”.

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