Nature vs Nuture: Neither and Both JD Roberto | Updated Jun 28, 2015

1. Are we the sum of our biology or are we the sum of our experiences? This
is a question that I have been obsessing over for years. As a parent, the
nature versus nurture debate has a profound impact on the most important challenge of your
life. It makes you think whether we can we really mold our kids into the compassionate,
successful, creative, human beings we want them to be? Or are they just who they are for
better and worse?

2. Many psychologists claim that nurture is ‘the be all and end all of our kids’ personalities’. If
we bring them up right, teach them good values, this will have a greater effect on their
personalities than anything else. Before my own kids came along, I firmly believed that this
was correct that nurture had the most impact. Yes, of course, we inherit certain things from
our genes such as hair and eye colour, body type. But, I imagined that personality traits
weren’t something innate. But then I had kids and now I’m not so sure.

3. On one hand, I think that the argument that nature determines our personality,
temperament and behavior is doubtful. It’s common knowledge that people change over
time. They change their opinions, values, and the way they act in different situations. They
don’t change because their genes magically change; they change because their environment
is constantly shaping them. There is clear evidence of this, especially among children. You
can have the most outgoing, happy kid, but if they suffer bullying at school, this could turn
them into a shy, nervous person. Or even worse, it could cause feelings of aggression and
hate. Surely those influences clearly demonstrate that our environment shapes us in a way
our biology simply can’t. Right?

4. And yet, as the years have passed, it’s become obvious that there are personality traits in
both my kids that have been there since they were barely a week old. For example, an
ultrasound of my son before he was born shows him holding the base of his umbilical cord. To
this day, touching his belly button is an unconscious comfort mechanism for him and the kind
of thing that reminds me that his personality was being formed long before he came into this
world. In addition, even although our two kids were raised by the same parents in the same
house with the same rules, they are wildly different people. Pebbles is carefree, always
performing, quick to smile and laugh. Z is quiet, sensitive, and a rule follower. This is who
they are and, from what I can tell, it’s who they’ve been since day one; their personality is
inherent.

5. From time to time, this realization makes me wonder what can parents really do to make
their children happier, better human beings? I’ve come to believe the answer is that we have
to nurture their nature. For example, my daughter’s love of the spotlight has the potential to
make her an engaging and charismatic spirit, but it could also make her an exhausting,
impolite narcissist. Z’s temperament can lead to empathy and insight beyond his years, but
it can also lead to anxiety, and fear. When we know that, we can start to teach them to play to
their strengths and minimize the negative consequences of their short comings. The hard
work is really about being able to see both the positives and negatives of their respective
natures and then give them the individual tools they need to thrive.
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Take 2 minutes to skim the article Nature vs Nurture: Neither and Both and write down some examples
on how nature affects your personality and how nurture affects your personality.

How nurture effects our personality:

Example: People change because their environment is constantly shaping them.

How nature effects our personality:

Example: Kids raised by the same parents can be completely different people.

Look at the vocabulary words in bold in the text. Match the synonym for each word.

a)nature
acquire – obtain
b) nurture
sympathy – compassion
c) inherit (v) heredity
d) traits form – forge

e) temperament attribute – feature

f) empathy attitude – ego

g) inherent innate – intrinsic

h) mold / shape (v) upbringing – rearing

i) genes character – temperament

j) behavior rude – disrespectful

k) impolite attitude – conduct

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Check your understanding of the text. Is the statement true or false? If the statement is false, correct it

I. Psychologists believe that nurture is the only factor that influences our personalities.

II. Having kids has not changed the author’s opinion on the nature vs nurture debate.

III. The author’s children have similar personalities.

IV. It is not possible to shape a child’s nature.

VI. Now answer the questions.

Now answer the questions.

1. What was the author’s opinion about nature versus nurture before he had children?

2. What is the example the author gives to demonstrate how our environment can affect our personality?

3. What did the author’s son’s first ultrasound make him realize about his personality?

4. What’s different about his two children’s personalities? What’s interesting about this?

5. What is the author’s final conclusion about the nature versus nurture debate?

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