Entry 1

April 1st, 1932

I am Hans Müller. I’m 12 and I live in Cologne Germany. I have a mom, dad, and a sister.
My mom doesn’t really work but my dad does. He works with the Jüdische Rundschau
newspaper company. I think he said he was publishing something about an election coming up. I
don’t really know what he does, I should probably ask him more questions about it. As far as I
know we are doing well, my dad makes good money and me and my sister are doing well in
school. My dad is Jewish, and my mom is German. I guess that makes me half Jewish, half
German. It’s funny my dad always said it looked like I am fully Jewish and my sister fully
German, he jokes that we swapped DNA. I thought being Jewish was a normal thing, but kids at
school make fun of me for it. My parents haven’t told me how they met but I’m pretty sure they
met when they were around 16. One thing I know for sure is that they both have lived in Cologne
for most of their life. I think I’ll stay here too. I like it here. We are right on the Rhein River.
Sometimes My dad takes me on boat rides on the Rhine. We are pretty close to the Heumarkt, so
Me and my friends do stuff there after school. I will probably end up working in there unless I
can get a job with my dad. The only thing I complain about is there is not much open space, or
even grass. It is hard to play games like kick ball without grass, so I ride my bike to pass time.
The town has a lot of turns and streets, so I need to work on memorizing t he town. I found a
map, which should help me with that. So far, I know I live near the Rheinau Hafen, and if I go
down the road near the water, I get to the Heumarkt.
Entry 2
June 23, 1937
A lot has happened since I wrote in this. Adolf Hitler was elected
chancellor in 1933. I guess maybe that was what dad was publishing. I did not know much about
him, until he came to Cologne for the first time. I know about him now, and I know what he
stands for. Everything was fine, until he got elected. First my family Jewish people became hated
as Hitler gained supporters, and his rise in power did not help that at all. Dad’s newspaper
company got boycotted, then shutdown. This had basically made us homeless once dad savings
ran out, so mom had to get a job because no one would hire Dad. After the election Hitler came
to Cologne for the first time. He used this opportunity to encourage people to throw bricks at us,
and graffiti literally anything we owed. Then in 1935, whatever law Hitler decided to make
caused mom and dad to split up. For some reason instead of being with mom, who had a job and
could provide for me, I ended up with dad who was still unemployed, and my sister went with
mom. I am not even sure if Hitler split my parents up because mom was oddly supportive of
Hitler despite being in the Jewish family, and mom had sorted hated dad ever since he lost his
job. Between hate crimes and poverty, life was really bad. I used to never really see my dad’s
family but mom kicked us out, me and him moved in with his sister and her family. The house
was nice, and they looked to still have a job, or at least money but all the graffiti and riots were
still happening, and it still was hard to see my ethnicity as anything good. Then accouple months
ago after hearing rumor about it, me and all other Jewish kids were kicked out of school. I have
come to terms with being denied a job because we’re Jewish but now any job that needs school
to be completed of out of the picture because we cannot go anymore, my future terrible. I don’t
even know what to do anymore, there no school to attend, the house is pack full of people since
most of dad’s relative are broke and we can only afford anything more than one house for all 12
of us, and everywhere I go I am reminded of how much the whole world hates my people. I don’t
think this could get any worse.
Entry 3
March 7th 1939
A year ago, me and my dad had to decided to leave my aunt's house. He said he knew of a train
that could take us west where there was a larger Jewish population. I guess his thought was that
they wouldn’t attack a bigger group, but that turned out to be false. When we got to Poland, I
thought everything was going to be fine, we found a town called Piotrków with a large Jewish
population, and they welcomed us when we told them our story. There were still the same laws
against us but not as much hatred since we kind of outnumbered the Nazis there. I was kind of
confused when the government changed all our names, they added “Israel” to my name. But
around a month ago, a large group of soldiers came and transported us to the “town”. It is like a
poor neighbourhood. There aren’t any walls or barriers stopping us but there are signs with skulls
warning the Germans about us. I’ve been told they are real human skulls. I heard they are going
to be putting us to work, I think it is safe to assume we are not being paid. I hope I don’t get put
in a factory. They gave us a curfew. I still don't know what time it is, I just follow people when it
gets dark. I should ask Dad how he is doing. I haven’t seen him in a couple of days.
Entry 4
December 4 1941
I don’t really know where I am right now. About a year ago they forced all of us into the town
square and “selected” people to go to the railway station, it was mostly Jewish men around my
age I think about 200 of us. I thought I got lucky when they selected me, I don’t feel lucky right
now. I hope Dad is okay, he didn’t get selected in the town square and I haven’t seen him since.
The Nazis took all the selected people on a train, I was surprised they were about to fit all of us
on it. The train ride to this place was the worst, they had us all packed into carts and if we talked
at all… they shot us. This camp is worse than the other. We have to wake up at a specific time,
then build more housing until night. The food is terrible and not even enough for the work we are
doing. This is worse than prison, we must work because if you are not working hard, they killed
you. In the beginning, they used bullets, but as more people were being killed, they built these
large rooms. I think that was where there killed large amounts of people because, I never saw
anyone walk out of there, only guards and they usually seemed bothered coming out. I am so
bored and tired and hungry and cold. All I do is work and I am constantly afraid. They brought in
a bunch of people recently, they looked to be Russian soldiers. They are probably why we have
to build all these houses. I heard they are getting more people, I think there are enough houses,
but they are still going to make us build more. I don’t know how much longer I can live like this,
I hope I get out soon.
 Entry 5
1944 ( 24 )
I was at that camp for around 3 years, my whole life there was sleeping, working, and trying to
stay alive. They brought in more Jews every couple of weeks, but most couldn’t handle the
lifestyle... a lot of them committed suicide, and I used to mourn them but after a while, I stopped
noticing the deaths, it was hard to care. The hardest days were during the fall of 1943, just
outside the camp they murdered what seemed like thousands of people, I’m not even sure if they
were Jewish or if the Nazis even cared about that anymore. They also kept bringing in more war
prisoners, all of them had the same stranded look. I think eventually the Russians were worried
about the number of soldiers Germany claimed because last month, they evacuated the camps.
They told all of us remaining Jews to get ready to leave. Us Jews and the soldiers had to walk to
another camp, this one is massive. The workers kept calling it Auschwitz. There is a large
entrance with train tracks on it, and inside was a massive area with houses on both sides. But no
matter how big it was, I knew it wasn’t good that they relocated us to a place where we don’t
work as much. I was confused why they kept us alive when we got there but soon, I was told
why. The Germans want people to experiment on, so they brought us there. First, they gave us a
number, mine was 52032. The only experiment they did on me was sterilization. They shot a
bunch of rays at my penis, I felt like they did it for hours. It caused burns all over my legs the
stomach. I did not want any of it to happen, but I was told they would kill me on the spot if I
refused at all. They did countless other people, I heard about the blood clotting experiment. They
gave people these pills, then shot them or cut their arms off, they thought the pills would stop
them from bleeding out, but they still died. I don’t know how I am going to leave this place,
there are guards everywhere. The only hope I have now is Russia or some other big country.
Russia almost got me but the Nazis evacuated us. I’m not even sure why they are keeping me
alive, I am too tired to work. I hope they do not try more experiments on me. One is enough.
Entry 6
1945 January 28
It’s finally over. I think all this started when I was 12, and now I’m 25. I thought I was going to
die like the rest of the Jews, but I was able to survive. I hope my family is alive. I am pretty sure
Mom and my sister are fine, I assume my sister pretended she wasn’t Jewish and stayed in
Cologne, I wouldn’t be surprised if my mom was married to Hitler before he shot himself. The
Russians finally storms Auschwitz, and unlike in Lublin, we weren’t evacuated, I guess without
Hitler the Nazis didn’t know what to do. It was surreal, the ran into the houses and told us to
follow them, we walked past all the skulls and shoes and bodied but instead of being put in the
gas chamber (which is what usually would happen if you were being escorted that way) we were
let out and brought to Russia. That is where I am right now. They have most of us in housing, but
they told me to stay in a hospital for a while. I don’t know why I feel just fine, definitely better
than how i felt in the camps. I just want to return to Cologne, I don’t care about how I was
treated there, I just want to see my friends again. I haven’t seen them in almost 10 years. I want
to find Dad, I know there is a good chance he died. The Nazis had no use for older men, but I
still have hope I can find himmm
 AFTERWARDS
Hans never left the hospital. He died as he was writing the last entry. His death was caused by a
combination of exhaustion, malnourishment, dehydration, and the X-rays shot at him during the
sterilization experiment. His mom and sister did indeed survive, and as he predicted his sister
survived because she denied being Jewish. In 1940, the people who were not selected to be sent
to the Lublin concentration camp stayed there, the next day more people were selected to go to a
different camp, Auschwitz. Hans’ father was selected to go. As part of the first few groups there,
he was forced to build the gate, houses and factories in the surrounding area, the thing Hans was
so mesmerized by when he first entered the camp. He was later killed in Block 11 of Auschwitz
during the testing of the gas Zyklon B, which became the gas used in the killing center of
Auschwitz to kill 1.1 million people.
- Noah Hingco

Citations:

- “An Arranged National Community.” NSDOK, https://museenkoeln.de/ns-

dokumentationszentrum/default.aspx?s=775#!prettyPhoto . Accessed 25 May 2023.
- “ANTISEMITIC LEGISLATION 1933–1939.” United States Holocaust Memorial Museum,
encyclopedia.ushmm.org/content/en/article/antisemitic-legislation-1933-1939. Accessed 25
May 2023.
- “AUSCHWITZ.” United States Holocaust Memorial Museum, 16 Mar. 2015,
https://encyclopedia.ushmm.org/content/en/article/auschwitz
- “LUBLIN/MAJDANEK CONCENTRATION CAMP.” United States Holocaust Memorial Museum,
https://encyclopedia.ushmm.org/content/en/article/lublin-majdanek-concentration-camp-
administration?series=24 . Accessed 25 May 2023.
- “LUBLIN/MAJDANEK: KEY DATES.” United States Holocaust Memorial Museum,
https://encyclopedia.ushmm.org/content/en/article/lublin-majdanek-key-dates . Accessed 25
May 2023.