The group of friends get ready to go out for the evening, checking their appearance and gathering money for drinks. They take the bus into town and attempt to get served at a busy pub, counting their pints. Realizing the bouncers may not let them all in together, they split up into pairs for the next venue, though one friend is unhappy with his partner.
The group of friends get ready to go out for the evening, checking their appearance and gathering money for drinks. They take the bus into town and attempt to get served at a busy pub, counting their pints. Realizing the bouncers may not let them all in together, they split up into pairs for the next venue, though one friend is unhappy with his partner.
The group of friends get ready to go out for the evening, checking their appearance and gathering money for drinks. They take the bus into town and attempt to get served at a busy pub, counting their pints. Realizing the bouncers may not let them all in together, they split up into pairs for the next venue, though one friend is unhappy with his partner.
(The actors nodessine the lads getting ready for the big night Jupp Double check. oui.) Les Condoms? Eric Baz, that is it. Friday night, fit for a fight. Get down Erıc Checkaroonie. there. Have a skinful. Might have a Chinese, or a chicken-in-the-basket. Maybe a hot-dog. Mightriskit. Jupp Breath? Got my dole money saved up. Try and pull some (They all breathe out and try and smell their own breath.) skirt. Give her a pup. ALL Ugh! Beer should drown that. RALPH Pza looking cool. I’m looking great. Wish 1 didn't have that spot. (He squeezes an imaginary spot.) Gotcha!! Jupp Right. That's it then. We're ready. Catch the bus at Blackheads. Slap some Clearasil on my face. Not bad, the end of our street. Jerry. Not bad at all, mate. RALPH Ding ding. Eric Hope 1 don't get stabbed again. Les Fares please. Jupp “Time, is it? Eric Bollocks. Les Jesus Christ... Jupp Get down town to start the pub crawl. When we get RALPH Ten to seven. there it’s packed already. I see me mates. Baz, Jerry an’ Kev an’ me into the Taverners. Les Gonna be late. (During the following sequence the lads attempt to get served. RarLpn Time for another quick check. Their actions should convey the bustling, pushy atmosphere of (They all siand in a row and check the various parts oftheir a pub.) bodies.) Four pints, please! Eric Hair? (as they down the first pint of the evening) ONE!! Les Check. Course I’m eighteen. Jupp Tie? Get some crisps. Les Check. Four bagsof beef. ERIC Aftershave? Cliff Richard uses this. Lookat tits on that. ALL (sing) Got myself a sleeping walking... (to audience) Social comment. RALPH Check. Four pints, pal. Eric Tale on genitals? TWO!! Les Check. Hey, who’s pushing? Eric Clean underpants? Are you being served? RALPH Well... Hey up, bastard. Les They’ll do. Four morepints, pal. 12 BOUNCERS BOUNCERS 13 ALL THREE!! Jupp How many have we had? Jupp Got any pork scratchings? RALPH Ten. Eric Hey, watch me shirt. Jupp Timefor another. RALPH Look who’s pushing? Eric I’ve only had nine. Packed in’t it? RALPH Are we off? Les Eric Jupp Let me get to them bogs. D’ you think we’ll get in? Jupp Should do. Eric Excuse me. Les Hopethere’s no trouble. RALPH Four pints. Eric There’s four ofus. ALL FOUR!! ALL Yeah. Jupp And a whisky, love, please. RALPH Come on. Let’s get down there, pick something up. ALL FIVE!! Right. ERIC Excuse me, love. ALL Right. Les I gave you fiver. Eric Hang on. Les What? Jupp Fat gett. Eric Piss call. RALPH Four pints, four bags of beef, four bags of salted peanuts and four whisky chasers. ALL Ob yeah. ALL SIX!! SEVEN!! (They all turn their backs as ifpe eing and then turn back to Jace the audience.) Jupp Have you got any cashews? Jupp We’d better split up. Eric Hey twat, I’ve been stood here a month. Les Why? Les Can we have some service down here? Jupp The Bouncers. RALPH I’m next, love. Eric Don't let you in. In groups. ERIC Shut your mouth, skullhead. RALPH OK. Me and Kev. Right. Jupp I’m being served, love, thanks. Jupp Yeah. And meand.. -(realisin g who he’s parred off with.) (The four lads recoil as they see beer spill all over Eric Ob shit! [Baz] ’s trousers.) (Just as they are about to move awa y they allfreeze. Pause. Eric Oooooh! Lookat that. Somebody’s spilt beer all over They once more become the girls we saw earlier in the my suit. hairdresser sequence. Eric [Maure en], Les [Rosrel], Juno [ELa mel, and Raton [Suzy] all stan Jupp Daft gett. circle having a laugh and a drin d together in a k in a pub. They are all Eric It’s brand new. dressed upp in their brand new cloth es ready for the night out. This should be communicated to LES Ill dry. the audience through their actions. They introduce themselves one by one.)