SUBSCRIBE

/ THE SCIENCES

8 Do’s and Don’ts for

Communicating with Your Cat
From body language to training tips, here’s how to
build better bonds with feline pals.

By Brittany Edelmann
Feb 9, 2022 7:30 PM | Last Updated Feb 9, 2022 7:29 PM

(Credit: Creative Cat Studio/Shutterstock)

Newsletter
Sign up for our email newsletter for the latest science news

EMAIL ADDRESS SIGN UP

Ever wonder why your cat isn’t being very

friendly, or doesn’t hang out with you often?
While it’s true that some cats are extremely
affectionate and won’t leave you alone, many
just don’t seem to be fans of people and take
that famous feline aloofness to the extreme.

The reality: While you may want your kitty to

sit with you or do something you want them
to do, cats are complex creatures that vary in
personality and behavior. “Just like there are
humans who aren’t into hugging and then
there are humans who everybody they like
they want to hug, there are some cats at both
ends of that spectrum and everything
between,” says M. Leanne Lilly, veterinarian
and clinical assistant professor at Ohio State
University.

And unlike dogs, who were purposefully

domesticated by humans tens of thousands
of years ago, cats were not trained or bred to
be domesticated, says Gabrielle Castro, a
fourth-year veterinarian student at Ohio State
University. But with a little insight into feline
behavior, you may be able to train your cat (a
little), or at least communicate your wishes to
them more effectively.

Following the do’s and don'ts provided here

may help strengthen your bond with your cat,
increasing the chances that they will be less
stressed generally, and more inclined to relax
and play, or just hang out with you. And that’s
good for both of you, because physical
interaction with a cat can be beneficial for
your overall health. One 2019 study by
scientists at Washington State University
showed a decrease in cortisol, a stress
hormone, within just 10 minutes of
interacting with cats (or dogs) compared to
those who just observed interactions from
afar. So give these tips a try.

Do: Blink Slowly

“How quickly you blink can affect your cat,”
Lilly says. Who knew? Slowly opening and
closing your eyes can make cats feel more
comfortable and help you form a better
connection with them. A 2020 study
published in Scientific Reports defined slow
blinks as “a series of half-blinks followed by
either a prolonged eye narrow or an eye
closure.” The researchers determined that
cats are more likely to approach the
experimenter who does this. It’s like a smile.

Do: Use Clicker Training

Training clickers, available in any pet store,
can help to get shy cats to come to you and
play, says Fiia Jokela, veterinarian and
resident in the American College of
Veterinary Behaviorists. As part of the
training, Jokela recommends using a long
stick with a toy at the end. Each time your pet
moves closer and his or her nose touches the
end of the stick, make a clicking sound with
the clicker and reward them with a treat or
food that “the cat likes better than just the
regular meal.” To learn more about this
technique, check out YouTube videos such as
Best Friends Animal Society’s “Clicker
Training with Cats.”

Do: Turn up the Heat

“Cats … in general, like houses warmer than
most Americans keep them,” Lilly says. A
2016 research study indicates that the ideal
room temperature for felines is 86 to 100.4
degrees Fahrenheit — much warmer than
most humans prefer. Cranking up the
thermostat, especially in winter, may be cost-
prohibitive in many regions. But placing a
heating pad next to you — one that is safe for
claws and not too hot — creates a localized
hot zone that can make cats “feel cozy and
warm” and “is a great way to try and get your
cat to hang out with you,” adds Lilly, who has
three pads for her kitty: in the office, the
bedroom and the living room.

Meanwhile, cat owner Susan Adamucci

places warm blankets near her that her cat,
Pepper Potts, gravitates towards.
Researchers also recommend the use of
warm bedding or heating elements such as
SnuggleSafe to help cats “more easily cope
with the environment.” And giving the cat a
treat after arriving at one of these spots can
be a way to reinforce this behavior in the
future, says Jokela.

Do: Try Di!using Tension

If you want your cat to be with you in a
certain room, you can try using a plug-in
diffuser called “Feliway,” says Christine
Fellacher, a veterinarian in Florida. Cats
normally leave behind a chemical called a
facial pheromone when they rub their face
against something. These are seen as "happy
messages" and a positive indicator of well-
being. Feliway is a synthetic version of the
feline facial pheromone. Fellacher
recommends this diffuser for cats that are
aggressive or stressed, as it can help reduce
feline anxiety and have a calming effect.
“Some cats will seek out that relaxation,”
Fellacher says. “They’ll want to stay in that
room because they know that they’re a little
more chilled.”

Do: Ask for Consent When

Petting
“Pet the cat a couple of times and then stop,”
says Melissa Bain, a clinical professor of
animal behavior service at University of
California Davis, School of Veterinary
Medicine. “If the cat appears to want more
attention, it should approach [you].” If not?
“Respect that and stop petting,” Bain says.
This can lead to the cat wanting more
attention because it realizes it “can signal to
the owner to stop petting whenever,” she
notes. Lilly also recommends “offering a
hand” and seeing if the cat rubs against it.

Do: Watch Their Body

Language
If your cat approaches you with his or her tail
up, like a question mark, this can mean it is
“probably going to be friendly, or at least
comfortable with the interaction that is going
on so far,” Lilly explains. But, if there is slow
movement and low-to-the-ground posture,
pretending as though the cat “doesn’t exist”
to increase comfortability prior to interaction
can help, Lilly says. Likewise, if the ears are
pinned back, “then they're not a happy cat,”
says Marina Jaworsky, associate veterinary at
Green Tree Animal Hospital in Libertyville,
Illinois.

Don’t: Reprimand Your Cat

If you pet your cats or try to get them to come
near you and they become scared or
uncomfortable, they may decide they’ve had
enough, “and they might even nip at you,”
Jokela says. Even if you think your pet is being
mean — what cat owner hasn’t? — don’t act
out against them. Yelling, scolding, or even
spraying water on them will “definitely break
the bond,” Jokela says.

Don’t: Use Laser Pointers

Playing with your cat can help you form a
stronger bond, Jokela says. But laser pointers,
which many cats seem to love, may not be
the best toy. The caveat? When cats are
constantly chasing something that they will
never catch, it can create or worsen OCD and
obsessive tendencies, where your kitty is
“always looking out for this thing because
they don’t get the satisfaction of catching it at
the end,” Castro says. Left with nothing to
nab, this can leave cats stressed and
contribute to health and behavior issues. One
2021 research study showed increased
reports of abnormal repetitive behaviors the
more that laser light pointers were used.

Every cat is different. Understanding what

they like and don’t like, keeping stress to a
minimum and making them as comfortable as
possible is key to a better relationship.
What’s most important? “Respecting their
boundaries and interacting in a way that they
want to interact, versus the way you may
want to interact, can be beneficial for your
relationship,” Castro says.

animal behavior

MORE FROM DISCOVER

THE SCIENCES

25 Tips To Take The Best Eclipse

Photos

THE SCIENCES

Maps of Totality for the 2024 Eclipse

THE SCIENCES

These 5 Supplements Can Keep Your

Skin Healthy and Glowing

THE SCIENCES

A Neutron Star Rests at Supernova

1987A’s Center

THE SCIENCES

Neanderthals May Have Used Glue to

Get Themselves Out of Sticky
Situations

THE SCIENCES

This Bizarre, Long-Necked Dinosaur

Had 500 Replaceable Teeth

RECOMMENDATIONS FROM OUR STORE

SHO P NOW

STAY CURIOUS

JOIN
OUR LIST

Sign up for our weekly science

updates.

EMAIL ADDRESS SIGN UP

View our privacy policy

SUBSCRIBE
TO THE MAGAZINE

Save up to 40% off the cover price

when you subscribe to Discover
magazine.

SUBSCRIBE

THE MAGAZINE

ABOUT DISCOVER

SHOP OUR STORE

PRIVACY POLICY

SUBSCRIBE

ADVERTISE

NEWSLETTER

TERMS OF USE

CUSTOMER SERVICE

CONTACT

COPYRIGHT POLICY

COPYRIGHT © 2024 KALMBACH MEDIA CO.

WEBSITE ACCESSIBILITY

1 FREE ARTICLE SUBSCRIBE