Bahir Dar University

College of Education and Behavioral Sciences

Department of Psychology

Psychological and social Consequences of Divorce on Children’s and Their

Coping Mechanism Used in Gondar City Administration

A Thesis Submitted to the College of Education and Behavioral Sciences,

Department of psychology in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the
Degree of Master of Arts in Social psychology (MA)

By

Daniel Melkie

Advisor

Andargachew M. (PhD)

Jun, 2019
Bahir Dar, Ethiopia
Psychological and social Consequences of Divorce on Children’s and Their
Coping Mechanism Used in Gondar City Administration

A Thesis Presented in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for Degree

of Master of Arts in Social Psychology

By
Daniel Melkie

BAHIR DAR UNIVERSITY

COLLEGE OF EDUCATION AND BEHAVIORAL SCIENCES
DEPARTMENT OF PSYCHOLOGY

June, 2019
Bahir Dar, Ethiopia

BAHIRDAR UNIVERSITY
 DEPARTMENT OF PSYCHOLOGY

I hereby certify that I have read this thesis entitled “Psychological and social Consequences
of Divorce on Children’s and Their Coping Mechanism Used in Gondar City Administration”
prepared under my guidance by Daniel Melkie. I recommend that it be submitted as fulfilling
the thesis requirement.

Andargachew Moges (PhD) _____________ ________________

Advisor Signature Date

Approval of Board of Examiners

___________________________ _____________ ________________

Chairperson Signature Date

___________________________ _____________ ________________

External examiner Signature Date

___________________________ _____________ ________________

Internal examiner Signature Date

[
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
First and foremost, Glory to my Heavenly Father my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for His
immeasurable guidance, mercy and grace to help me reach this stage.

This work comes in to end not only by the effort of the researcher but also the support of
many individuals and organizations. To begin with, I would like to thank my dearest advisor
Andargachew Moges (PhD) for his constructive suggestions throughout my work. Had it
been without his support, this work would not have come into reality. Secondly, my heartfelt
thanks go to my family as a whole. and special thanks go to my mother, Woynetu
Malede and my father Melkie Abate, My sister Betselot Melkie and Maza Melkie who
helped me by giving their consistent moral and financial support, And my deepest thanks
and love goes to my loving, caring and responsible fiancé Tsion (Enatye) Tegbar who has
been with me all these years helping and encouraging me to accomplish my study
successfully. I would like to say I love you all. My heart full thanks go to my teachers who
helped me to come this paper to success. They support me in each activity of the work.
Besides, participants of the study in Gondar city administration and the staff of the schools
are greatly praised for their help to do this work.

Last but not least, I want to express my great thanks to my classmates in general, their
support was amazing. Tarekegn Tegegne, Setegn Kassie and Debela Jufar for their
continuous support when I need help. I would like to say God bless you all and I love you
very much.
 TABLE OF CONTENTS
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS..........................................................................................................i
LIST OF TABLE......................................................................................................................iii
ABSTRACT..............................................................................................................................iv
CHAPTER ONE: INTRODUCTION........................................................................................1
1.1. Background of the Study.............................................................................................1
1.2. Statement of the Problem............................................................................................4
1.3. Objectives of the Study...............................................................................................8
1.3.1 General objective.................................................................................................8
1.3.2 Specific objectives...............................................................................................8
1.4. Significance of the Study.............................................................................................9
1.5. Scope of the Study.....................................................................................................10
1.6. Limitation of the study..................................................................................................10
1.7 Operational Definition of Key Terms.............................................................................10
CHAPTER TWO: REVIEW OF RELATED LITERATURE................................................12
2.1 The Concept of Marriage, Family and Divorce...............................................................12
2.2 The Effect of Divorce Effect on the Family Cyclical Relationships............................13
2.3 The Effects of Divorce on Children’s..........................................................................16
2.4 Social Consequences of divorce on children..................................................................18
2.5 Psychological Problem...................................................................................................19
2.6 Immediate reactions......................................................................................................21
2.7 The way to coping mechanism.....................................................................................21
CHAPTER THREE: RESEARCH DESIGN AND METHODOLOGY.................................26
3.1. Description of the Study Area...................................................................................26
3.2. Research Approach....................................................................................................26
3.2.1 Research Design......................................................................................................27
3.3. Sources of Data..........................................................................................................27
3.4 Population, Sample size and Sampling Techniques.......................................................27
3.4.1 Population................................................................................................................28
3.4.2 Sample size..............................................................................................................28
3.4.3 Sampling technique..................................................................................................28
3.5 Data Collection Instrument........................................................................................29
3.5.1 Primary data.............................................................................................................29
3.5.2 Secondary data collection........................................................................................30
3.6 Data Analysis Methods...................................................................................................30
 3.7 Ethical Considerations....................................................................................................31
CHAPTER FOUR: RESULTS AND DISCUSSION..............................................................32
4.1 Demographic Background of Children’s......................................................................32
4.2 Consequences of Divorce on Children Wellbeing....................................................32
4.2.1 Psychological consequence of divorce on children’s............................................32
4.2.2 Social consequences................................................................................................40
4.3 Coping Mechanisms of Children from Divorced Family..........................................43
4.3.1 Chooses to be Spiritual............................................................................................43
4.3.2 Seeking Support from their friends and families.....................................................44
4.3.3 Entertainment...........................................................................................................45
CHAPTER FIVE: CONCLUSION AND IMPLICATION.....................................................46
5.1 Conclusion of Major Findings...................................................................................46
5.2 Implication.................................................................................................................47
REFERENCES.........................................................................................................................50
APPENDICES..........................................................................................................................55

LIST OF TABLE

Table 1: Demographic information for participants.................................................................32

 ABSTRACT
This study was designed to identify the psychological and social consequences of divorce
on children’s and their coping mechanisms used in Gonder city administration by using
qualitative research method descriptive. The research used 6 students as a data source and
they were selected using a purposive and snowball sampling technique. The present study
explores the experiences of children’s from divorced parents from their point of view using a
qualitative in-depth interview method the study finds that the consequences of divorce are
multidimensional such as psychological and social consequences because of divorce.
In consequence, almost all children’s face stressful and traumatic life events psychologically
and socially that has destructed their overall wellbeing. this study also found that some
children’s found divorce as a benefit who was undergone in unhappy lives with their
parents and it allows them to experience the unlikely positive side of divorce. these
children’s also experience social isolation by their friends who usually have fun and
mock them because of their parents’ divorce. most of the students although, have a
good relationship with their neighbors and friends beside their parents’ divorce. They
receive love, care and guidance from the society. These children’s also experience a
variety of psychological problems like anger, fear, loneliness, grief, sorrow, and hatred
are some of them. besides this, the children’s have been using different coping
strategies in their post-divorce lives to cope up with divorce-related problems. the
employed effective coping mechanism by children’s able them post-divorce adjustment
possible and significant. hence, this research finally shows the implication for whom
it will benefit and how. for all concerning bodies who are interested in this issue
will provide the relevant information how divorce is affecting the psychological and
social consequence of children’s.
 CHAPTER ONE: INTRODUCTION

1.1. Background of the Study

The history of marriage is as old as the creation of man When God allowed marriage for a
man it was supposed to bring a man and a woman into one flesh by the spirit and bear
children’s that blesses the family with happiness. Marriage is the oldest and also the first
social belongingness ordained by Almighty God as a social attachment between two persons
to be husband and wife for the rest of their lives. Marriage as a grant by God gives the right
to sexual intimacy and reproduction of children for the husband and wife (Sarker, 2007).

Marriage means the condition of being united as one with individuals of the opposite sex as
husband or wife for the objective of accompanying, togetherness, and building a family. Most
of the cultures around the world agree with the idea that marriage is an essential event that
can happen in every society in the world. The Church itself seeks with others to state again
strongly that the basis for keeping that marriage must be for the unique and supportive
romantic alliance between a woman and a man from which rear children that will be a great
addition for the generation uniquely possible. The meaning and understanding of marriage
mostly have a deep root for many cultures: it is because marriage is not meant to prohibit, or
harmfully disadvantage anyone.

Marriage is a special companionship that is different from all other relationships. A vital
feature of marriage is that the biologic fact that a man and a woman can join together as
husband and wife in integration that is set to the making of new life; not only biological, as
the researcher tried to explain earlier, marriage means two creation called a husband and wife
become one flesh in the spirit, it does mean that one of them is not only there to please their
selves, whatever happened to one of them can affect the other one. For instance; when the
husband is happy most probably in happily married couples the wife also gets happy no
matter what her benefit is, in contemporary when the wife gets sad the same thing might
happen to her husband, he as well sad because of her sadness. This does mean a man and
woman now becomes one flesh in marriage according to the holy bible.

Marriage still is profound among societies all over the world. However, the value we give to
marriage and the norms we held is not always stable, and sometimes it will be rapidly
changing. Most marriages do reflect the norms behind one’s culture. Marriage is a major

1
phenomenon for one’s society because it is one way of a socio-economic transaction affair.
Marriage has its background in every country and society, In Ethiopia, in the feudalist
regime, marriage was mainly practiced for political purposes. The high-class rulers need
marriage purposefully to strengthen the bond between the husband and wife’s family in the
socio-economic and mainly for political purposes. (Yisak & Camfield, 2009) in Ethiopia;
most marriages are bond basically for economic purpose.

According to Amina (2008), the union of marriage has a great mission behind it, it is
provided for the prolongation of the human race and the development of society. Many
individuals get into marriage with the new spirit of hope of having a long-lasting satisfying
companionship with their partner. These couples marry for romantic love, for companionship
with one another, for friendship in love, for building a great family, for stable finance and
more other intimacy reasons. Everybody has an image of what successful marriage would
look like, staying married for a lifetime and having beautiful children, living their fancy life,
living a luxurious life while growing old together.

It’s nice to dream about successful marriage and working to catch it. However, marriage is
an institution that will not be always fun between husband and wife. It encounters many
difficulties in the past and many people can’t deal with it and their only choice is to end up
their beloved marriage by divorce which the experience affects the well-being of their
children. Marital insecurity has become the main concern in present-day society and this is
related to unpleasant separation, divorce, and widowhood. Separation and divorce are a social
incident generated by either the wife or husband or both of them, but widowhood is far away
from what a human being can control it, it is related to losing one's spouse through death
(Amina, 2008).

Separation is classified into two: those are physical separation i.e. where the husband and
wife supposed to be in one home together, but the couples choose to live separately without
fixing their marital instability. Mental separation is when the husband and wife decide to live
together in one roof but it just without any biological and psychological intimacy. Many
marriages in Ethiopia look like they separated in mental separation, this happens that Ethiopia
as a culture does not tolerate divorce and many couples notice it. So, to separate their ways
apart they live in a home that is already broken in unstable marriage. It is vital to notice that
when marriage is broken down by the court of law, it is called divorce, but when it is broken
down by death is called widowhood (Amina, 2008). Ethiopia is one of the Orthodox countries

2
where marriage is seen as one of the basic social chains for having a happy marriage life
through behaving socially accepted type of marriage. However, as time goes on and on,
globalization and modernization have inflated the importance the society gives for marriage
life, especially in big cities and big towns, including Addis Ababa. (Serkalem, 2006)

Individuals, communities, and also a state tries their best to protect marriage from divorce.
Unfortunately, divorce is something which is hard to avoid from the root of many families.
According to Tilson & Larsen, (2000), the most familiar causes of divorce from the women’s
view are unfruitful life, beating, ill-treating spouse, money wastage, adultery, exercising too
much control, forcing to do sexual intercourse, absence from home for a long period of time,
and a huge difference in age.

In most societies, people believed that marriage is something that follows the same rules
across generations with a new different couples. But now at this time, everybody sees divorce
as a simple phenomenon. It’s known that a new couple gets into marital instability in just a
week after marriage. It seems that in this generation marriage is losing its value and respect
too.

Divorce has psychological, economic and social impacts on the divorcees (Walsh, 1999). The
negative influence of a divorce is excessive, especially on children’s, it is a hard experience
for all children, and their reaction to their parents’ divorce may differ depending on their age
and developmental level. Children who came from divorced families are at high risk for their
psychological and social wellbeing than from intact families. This negative effect of divorce
on the psychological and social wellbeing of children’s has a stronger consequence when the
child is younger at the time his her parents’ divorce (Sisay, 1997).

According to Walsh (1999), the negative consequence of divorce, continue into the adulthood
stages where adults from divorced family begin to face problems in a romantic relationship.
Divorce is an alarming experience that influences the whole family system especially its
effect on children’s wellbeing is critical. Divorce may cause several negative consequences
on children including low self-esteem, difficulties in their future relationship, being addicted
by substance, lowered school achievement, depression, and misbehavior. Frydenberg &
Lewis (1996), also noted that how children’s life stressors, such as their parental divorce, are
likely to overwhelm their social & emotional development and create coping patterns that
may remain throughout their adolescence and adult lives. What can be concluded from the
results of these studies, is how parental divorce affects the children’s psychological and social

3
wellbeing and also how effective the children’s coping mechanisms are to flee away from the
disturbing feeling of their parental divorce.

Therefore, this study is focused on the psychological and social consequences of divorce on
children and their coping mechanisms. Despite of the seriousness of the problem, but there
are not enough available studies on the subject of divorce and its effect on children’s
psychological and social wellbeing area to create awareness on the minds of every individual
and address how deep the problems are to the concerned bodies, organizations, and
individuals to lessen the problem. Because of this major gap, the researcher is was motivated
to investigate the psychological and social consequence of divorce on children and their
coping mechanism in Gondar city administration.

1.2. Statement of the Problem

The phenomenon of divorce has been repetitively researched, especially from the 1970s on
when the number of divorces started to expand within western countries. Regardless of how
many times these research studies in Ethiopia and globally it appears that the enormous
number of them concentrated on what the recognized negative consequence or outcome of a
divorce is. Some other present-day studies have concentrated on divorce in a holistic manner
(Amato, 2000; Wallerstein & Kelly, 1980). Few other studies have concentrated on the
effects and consequences of divorce on spouses. Some of this suggestion include how to cope
with this over expand phenomenon in global and Ethiopian societies to decrease its likely
negative outcomes and to encourage the optimal development of children and their
psychological and social wellbeing following their parents’ divorce.

Divorce is not an event that happens at a single point in time; it represents an extended
transition in the lines of parents and children. Children who experienced parental divorce are
vulnerable to different problems and risks. (Claiborne, 2012) stated that children from a
divorced family are more exposed to having many sexual partners, crimes and others.
Divorce highly destructs society and also has a long-lasting effect on the family bondage and
the relationship between child and parents. Children and adolescents who face problems in
their parents’ divorce mostly have no say in the procedure but the divorce equally has an
impact on them as much as it influences the parents whom they involved in.

Children who exhibit their parents’ divorce are highly influenced by the changes that occur in
their parents. Mostly, these children have been living with both parents so parental break up

4
in family brings with it difficult times and changes that they have to manage with such as
living only with the custodial or responsible parent in addition to all the physiological
changes they are dealing with as they get into young ages. Most of the people out there
believe that divorce affects the couple’s life but studies indicate that in the case of divorce
children are highly affected than couples do. In some instances, divorce affects an
individual’s commitment to long-lasting term companionship for a lifetime where this
commitment declines (Ackerman, 2006).

Usually, divorce hurts children, spouses as well as on society. According to Fagan &
Churchill (2012), the impact of divorce is unrepairable anguish to all are who involved in it,
but very risky to the children. Divorce is the final act of marital instability, and those
problems before divorce practices are affecting the children. (Wallerstein, 2012). When
children receive less attention, less emotional support, less financial assistance, and practical
help for academic support and encouragement, eventually they may lose stimulation of
intimacy, socialization, emotional stability, intellectual support from their parents. (Zinn &
Etzin, 1999) stated that, parental divorce has the following effect, children experience
psychological problems like anxiety, trauma, depression, and unhappiness. According to
Markham (2013), divorce has both short- and long-term effects: if the children’s who
experienced parental divorce are too young to understand the situation completely, they
might feel accountable or responsible for the divorce that happened in their family. In the
short-term effect, they become increasingly aggressive, unfriendly, savage, unwilling, and
emotionally become unstable.

It’s hard to easily recover from the trauma of divorce; even it may shade dark in their future
lives. (Wallerstein, 2012) stated that some children are not as strong as others; some are
affected negatively throughout their life span. Therefore, the impacts switch to adulthood;
then the children might have less trust in their girl boyfriends and tend to love their partners
less.

Amato (2005), also claims that academic performance is negatively associated with divorce;
those whose parents are divorced rank lower in their intellectual performance than children in
intact families. This is explained further in Wallerstein (2012), a study in the USA context
that divorce affects the grade level in which children attain: the number of girls who drop out
of high school is increased by 33 percent because of parents’ divorce. Children living with
two biological parents, complete total years of education and have higher earnings than

5
children from other family structures (Wallerstein, 2012). Divorce also reduces the likelihood
of attaining a college education because of lower financial support from divorced parents.

There is no statistical report that can show the actual divorce rate at the regional or national
level in Ethiopia. But according to Tilson & Larsen (2000), “forty-five percent of first
marriages in Ethiopia end up in divorce within 30 years, and two-thirds of women who
divorce within the first 5 years of marriage”. In the same study, it’s stated that divorce has
been a common and largely accepted practice in Ethiopia.

Indrias (2006), report the number of street children in Ethiopia totals 600,000 and more than
100,000 in the capital city (Addis Ababa). According to Woldekidan (2003), in Ethiopia,
around 4,042,357 children are estimated to live under difficult conditions because of families'
inability to support children due to family dissolution (Woldekidan, 2003). And also
Mekonnenn; Kassa and Ayalew (2019), also indicated according to the 1994 population and
housing census in Addis Ababa, among 506,852 married couples 97,147 were divorced. So
the above data shows that divorce is becoming among the major societal problems in Ethiopia
in general. That is a deeply shocking divorce rate for a country that is highly pounded by
religion and norms by value and importance of marriage.

There are different reasons why some marriages have become unsuccessful in the present
time society leading to a breakup of the marriage institution. The presence of mother and
father are all main things in nurturing a holistic child. In the children’s world, a family
consists of both mother and father together but the absence of one of the parents pretend to a
major threat to the well-being of their children.

There is an average body of study’s that look into resiliency part in children’s encounter with
parental divorce such as coping and adjustment i.e.: (Farber et al., 1985). However, the study
seems to be limited in its scope in that it paid little attention to what particular psychological
and social challenges do children experience, and also didn’t explore their coping
mechanisms after parental divorce. There are few studies examined the psychological and
social consequences of children as a result of parental divorce and how do children cope with
their challenges. (Wethington & Kessler, 1986).

There is also some local study in Ethiopia that focused on a broad understanding of marriage
and divorce and also its consequence but the researcher saw a knowledge gap. Which is
almost all of them didn’t study the psychological and social effects of divorce on children’s
and also barely studied the coping mechanism of the children’s. For example, Serkalem

6
(2006), examined the economic consequence of divorce. She concluded that divorce brought
to the family severe economic challenge and women’s are highly affected by it. They usually
engaged in informal works including, selling homemade products, firewood, and charcoal.
And also Serkalem’s finding reported that how divorced women’s social reaction is; it’s
limited because of lack of time and money to participate in social activities. So their social
life after divorce is very hard. And also their socioeconomic problem creates a psychological
disturbance, this is explained by frustration to cope and handle life after divorce especially
with children. Though Serkalem saw the socioeconomic perspective of divorce, she didn’t see
the psychological and social consequences of divorce on children’s and their coping
mechanisms especially.

Another study by Mekonen (2014), focused on the effect of divorce on adolescents’ self-
esteem; Mekonen tried to show how adolescents from divorced families differ by their self-
esteem from the intact family. His finding revealed the difference in their self-esteem
between divorced and intact family children’s. However, Mekonen’s research didn’t see the
social consequence of divorce on children. His participants mainly were adolescents. In his
research coping mechanism is not explored.

Another research by Yohannis (2015), tried to see the lived experiences of divorced women
in rural Ethiopia; a special focus in Hulet Ejju Enessie Woreda: Addis Zemen kebele. His
primary focus in the study was to look at the post-divorce experiences of women in rural
Ethiopia, and the impacts of parental divorce on the psychological well-being of the divorced
women; He specifically, investigated how the women managed to adapt their new lives after
legal dissolution. Yohannis finally concluded that divorced women were highly affected
socially, psychologically and economically. They face a lot of rejection from society and they
also experienced insults in everyday activity and they are also deprived of different survives.
Unlike other researchers, Yohannis saw coping strategies of women and he found out that
divorced women’s used different coping strategies to overcome their difficulties in life. For
instance, they have faith in God, find strength from friends or families. Yohannis’s research
is focused on only divorced women and didn’t see the psychological and social consequences
of divorce on children’s and their coping mechanisms.

Finally, Seid & Yehulashet (2014), investigated the psychosocial and economic consequence
of divorce in the Muslim community in Gondar city administration. Their finding indicated
that divorce increases the odds of socio-economic problems on the individuals. In the study,

7
women are economically dependent on their husbands, so the economic problem after
divorce is becoming more severe. The result indicates that the economic, social and
psychological situations of divorced participants are noticeably worse than those of married
respondents. This study, however, didn’t examine how children are affected by divorce.

So, what makes the present research different from other local studies is that it’s particularly
focused on children and how they are affected by their parents’ divorce. specifically
the study investigates consequences of divorce on children’s psychological and social
wellbeing. The study also examines the different coping mechanisms that children use
to cope with their parents’ divorce. Geographically, previous researches were conducted
in Addis Ababa. This study is conducted in the city of Gondar.

To address the purpose, the following research questions were posed:

What are the psychological consequences of divorce on children wellbeing?

What are the social consequences of divorce on children’s wellbeing?

How do children cope with their challenges after their parents got divorced?

1.3. Objectives of the Study

1.3.1
[[
General objective

The general objective of this paper was to explore the psychological and social consequence
of divorce on children and their coping mechanism.

1.3.2
[[
Specific objectives

The specific objectives of this study are to:

1. Discover the psychological consequence of divorce on children.

2. Explore the social consequence of divorce on children.
3. Discover the coping mechanism children’s use to cope up from the difficulties
they face during and after their parents’ divorce.

8
1.4. Significance of the Study
The finding of this study imparts useful information that could be used as a mentor in
handling children’s who have experienced parental divorce. It helps to understand the
consequence of divorce on children.

The research result will also assist concerned stakeholders to improve children’s wellbeing by
assisting them to grow up as healthy and holistic human beings. Children raised in intact
married families are more likely to attend college, are physically, psychologically and
socially healthier are less likely to be physically or sexually abused, less likely to use drugs or
alcohol and to commit delinquent behaviors, have a decreased risk of divorcing when they
get married.

Gondar city is a makeup of more than one ethnic and religious group live in oneness
peacefully. As previous researches indicated that divorce is more prevalence in urban cities
than rural, and also its rate at the national level become increasing in the blink of eyes.
Moreover, there are no sufficient studies in Gonder city specifically. Due to this reason, the
researcher is eager to do research that can alleviate this highly rapidly social ill. This ill
should get a consistent and reliable solution. The research will do this by providing
appropriate information to concerned bodies. This research will help them to minimize the
effect of divorce on children’s psychological and social wellbeing and know what an
effective coping mechanism is for children’s at a national and regional level

This research may also serve as one source for further studies on the psychological and
social consequence of divorce on children’s and their coping mechanism and also it may also
be useful to divorced parents, schools, and teachers of children’s, judges duty with divorce
proceedings in courts, spiritual fathers and mothers, institutions which are concerned with
divorced couples having children. (Strong et al., 2008).

The advantage of the present study is that it increases the knowledge base about the
psychological and social consequences of divorce on children’s and children coping
mechanisms with parental divorce during their childhood years. It also culminated in the
forming of a set of guidelines for both children and adults that would encourage fruitful
coping mechanisms among them with parental divorce. It will expect that this awareness and
suggestion will allow psychologists, counselors, social workers, health care practitioners, and
any other individuals participate in helping families during divorce, to cope more
successfully with this event. It is also hoped that more additional future research and follow-

9
up studies into this particularly applicable and far-reaching phenomenon will continue to be
conducted by other researchers both in Ethiopia and abroad.

1.5. Scope of the Study

The scope of this study is limited to “psychological and social consequences of divorce on
children’s and their coping mechanisms in Gonder city administration. The study is
specifically limited sample secondary school students in Gondar city.

1.6. Limitation of the study

[[

The study topic area is very sensitive and it was hard to easily access children’s who
are experienced parental divorce. even after access those children’s they were not
volunteer to be a participant. the researcher almost spend half day with the school
counselor by searching voluntary students but after that, there was only six children’s
who were available, experienced and voluntary to be a participant of the study. this
was because the school doesn’t have a written document about this type of children.

The other incident was, two of the participants are not willing to be recorded. the
researcher tried them to keep their information and he will not mention any of their
name but they wouldn’t. the researcher was not pushed them or convince them to do
as long as they are not interested in it. this slightly affects the process of data
analysis because the researcher spent most of his times to remember what they said
and read some note books which written during data collection.

1.7 Operational Definition of Key Terms

Divorce- is the termination of a marriage legally. It refers to dissolution of marriage or
termination of marital relationship.

Well-being- According to concise oxford dictionary (tenth edition) the state of being
comfortable, healthy or happy.

Psychosocial-refers to the psychological and social conditions of children.

Children- According to the national law; the researcher used under 18years old children for
this study.

Intact Family: A family comprises parents who are living together husband and wife
having children.

10
Coping mechanism- children’s effort to manage their stress and traumatic experiences
during and after their parent’s divorce.

11
 CHAPTER TWO: REVIEW OF RELATED LITERATURE

Introduction

This chapter reviews the literature on the psychological and social consequence of
divorce on children and their coping mechanisms. The review include from local to
worldwide countries experience about how divorce affects children’s psychological and
social well-being and also how children’s cope up with the feelings of being raised in single
parents. Before directly reviewing the consequence of divorce and children coping
mechanism, conceptualization of marriage, family and divorce are discussed.
2.1 The Concept of Marriage, Family and Divorce

Different researchers study different aspects of marriage with different perspectives,

However, what is common among them is that they seem to agree to the concept that
marriage is as old as the origin of a human being. Anne (2005), conceptualizes marriage as a
broad term, which includes sexual intimacy, economic and emotional partnership between
couples. Anne also argues that, marriage has very close meaning among different societies,
which is; the basis of the formation of the family for reproduction.

Marriage in the past and present human societies were described as approved by the culture, a
union of one man and woman is called monogamy and one man and two or more woman
called polyandry, in which there will be a declaration by the culture to sexual intercourse
between the married partners and there is the expectation that children will be born from their
relationship and sexual intimacy. Some other researcher, Edward (1991), defines marriage as
a social rule in which one or more men to one or more women form intimacy, recognized by
the culture, law or custom of the society.

Marriage in Ethiopia has also different forms, such as traditional, cultural, religious and civil.
Among all of these forms, the traditional and religious marriages are commonly practiced,
Civil marriage is also the second more common ways of marriage (Serkalem, 2006). Other
scholars Tilson & Larsen (2000), come to the conclusion that nearly 95 % of women’s
married at the age of 30 whereas the dark side is, 45 % of all first marriage in Ethiopia ended
up in divorce within 30 years of togetherness; 28% of first marriage ends in divorce within
the first 5 years, 34 % within 10 years and 40 % within 20 years.

12
Divorce is like a wrecking ball which is when it comes it destroys everything in the family
cycle. The next part will try to prove that how divorce shade dark images on family, which is
how family cycle broken because of divorce.

2.2 The Effect of Divorce Effect on the Family Cyclical Relationships

The unrecognized part of divorce is, when the couples end their marriage by divorce, another
sort of divorce will occur between parents and their children too. The primary cause of
divorce is the couple’s conflict that leads to marital dissolution which declines the intimacy
between parent and children’s (Elizabeth & Toby, 1995). Usually, in post-divorce life,
divorce partners have two sets of problems; which is their adjustment to the intrapsychic
conflict and mainly to their role as a single parent to their children. For not only single
parents but for, children’s stress level is very high. The stress of divorce damages the
relationship between children’s with their families. The support parents receive from home
by their children’s after divorce is rated much lower than children from intact homes.
Unfortunately, this negative implication becomes more pronounced after children join high
school and university (Jane E & Diane D, 1997).

According to Amato (1994), children’s from divorced parents receive less emotional support,
financial assistance, and practical guidance from their families at home. Divorced homes and
family show a decrease in intimacy, love, pride, positive view for academic behavior,
encouragement for social maturity, and warmth to their children’s. Divorce by itself might
not affect parenting but it often leads the family to worry, stress and exhaustion and these
factors affects both parenting and parental control in the family. As a result, the result of
divorce is less caring and overprotect more at home. After divorce, the child’s ability to trust
their parents and their friends is strongly hard for them. Their parent’s marital dissolution
makes very hard for them to trust their families, friends, and others. According to Ann, et al
(2009), children in divorced families are at greater risk of different outcomes following
family marital dissolution and the negative consequence of those outcomes will continue into
adulthood stage.

There is a difference in the home environment when children live with divorced mothers or
divorced fathers. For example, according to Jane & Diane (1997), children’s who live with
divorced mothers have a poor affection and less interest in home environments. Moreover,
despite their big intention, divorced mothers are less able than married women’s to give
emotional, psychological and financial support for their desperate children’s. Sometimes
13
divorce causes a decline in children’s trust of their mothers when marital dissolution occurs
especially when children’s are at age 0-4. Compared to an intact mother-children relationship,
divorced mothers have less affection and less communication with their children. To
discipline their children’s they use harsh methods, this behavior is consistent more especially
during the first year after their divorce. Divorce affects the mother-child relationships
particularly, but this phenomenon will likely improve within two years after the divorce.

Divorce leads to a decline in the frequency and quality of contact and relationships between
families. According to Amato (1994), 50 percent of children’s reported that they are did not
see their father in the past year because their father is nonresidential. Usually, divorce
worsens children’s relationships with their parents. Marital dissolution creates a gap between
child-parent relationships; even when compared to children’s who are living in married but
unhappy families.

Despite age, children from divorced parents have deep agony. Because of divorce, children’s
loss a long time family celebration, home traditions, daily rituals, and special events. Girls
will react very slightly in such different ways to their parent’s marital dissolution. Young
girls will feel a need for affection, love, and attention and they also have a fear of
abandonment. Girl’s ambition about deciding on marriage are likely to be overwhelmed by
anxiety. Yet, girls with no effect during their parent’s divorce will form a security friendship
based on love during adulthood. (Sarah W, et al, 2008)

Girls may be less influenced in their attitudes towards a divorce it’s because they have more
role models about marriage and affection than boys do like in media or something. In
contrast, boys have fewer role models about marriage outside of their family. For boys, for
interpersonal skill father’s presence in their life is important for them. Men from the families
where the father absent will experience less masculine sexual and gender identification and
will develop more feminine identification. (Steven & Karen, 1985).

Divorce destroys the children’s ability to handle conflict in their later life. The difference
between intact and those ended their marriage in divorce lies primarily in the partners' ability
to handle their marital conflict and move to the agreements. Children model their parents in
almost everything. Parental modeling lessens many of the children’s capacity for handling
conflict in their later life, but not only this some children react by a stronger capacity to
ensure stability.

14
For example, students from married families compared to students from divorced families use
more violence very frequently to resolve their conflict and even more likely to be violent and
aggressive (Robert & Nicole, 1993). Even after they got married when they become adults,
they are more likely to be unhappy, violent, arguer, shouter, physically assault to their
partners. Then, the likelihood of divorce in their marriage is an almost undeniable fact.

Amato (1990), concluded that children from divorced families have poor social skills
characterized by an aversive or and coercive interaction styles and it leads to rejection in
response. Most children from divorced families have a fear of rejection from social
circumstances. Their social life is damaged in several ways; for example, they have few
friends, they complain by their lack of peer support, hostility towards adults, and absence of
attention, aggressiveness, and anxiety.

According to Lisa (2005), a variety of psychological outcomes are related to marital

dissolution that will lead to vulnerability in many children’s. Moreover, children’s whose
parent’s divorce exhibit more depression, antisocial behavior and anxiety from the intact
families. Children who are affected by the divorce of their family at any age will continue to
be affected in their lives.

Regarding behavioral problems, children of divorced families have increased behavioral

problems and the conflict put the child’s social competence at risk. Married families have low
to medium levels of conflict but they have fewer behavioral problems than those families in
high conflict. Parental conflict negatively affects the consequence of children’s behavioral
problems, despite their parents’ marital status. Mostly during divorce, conflict is often
accompanied by less responsiveness and affection which leaves their children to feel more
insecure. Because of this, children’s feel more likely to feel that their social milieu is
uncontrollable. It’s predictable that children’s from divorced families are likely to engage in
fighting and stealing at their schools. (Amato, 1997)

Children’s attitude towards marriage is also affected by their parent’s divorce. Children
raised by divorced families are likely to have less positive attitudes towards marriage. Those
negative attitudes toward marriage likely drive the children’s in their later life for less
commitment to romantic relationships when they become adults. When they become adult,
divorced family children are likely showing more ambivalence than from intact family
children’s about to involve in a relationship. Girls share this ambivalence and react in more
conflict, more doubt, and lack of faith in their partner and they don’t even value their

15
relationship status. Children’s raised in divorced partners are less likely to believe that
marriage is all about endurance and persistent compared to intact family children’s. They are
less likely to stay in a lifelong marital status commitment with their partner, and also they
can’t see themselves positively as future parents. (Daniel, 2007)

High levels of inter-parental conflict after divorce are related to negative views about
marriage. According to Renée (2006), many children fear that their future relationships and
marriages will lack true love, trust, communication and think of their partner be an infidel
and it will be full of conflict and abuse. Mainly, they worry that their marriage or
relationships will fall short or their partner will abandon them. The study found that those
types of children’s from divorced families still had persistent about their chances of a happy
marriage even after they grow adult. This anxiety prevents them from thinking about
marriage and some also fail to form good romantic ties.

According to (Susan & Catherine, 2001) parental divorce often leads to low trust among their
children’s in their future lives. The divorce of their family often makes their romantic
relationships more difficult when they reach adulthood level. Their parent’s divorce makes
dating horror for children, it horrifies adult’s romantic relationships for the rest of their lives.
The effects of their parents’ divorce will hunt them into adulthood romantic relationship
level. Compared to girls from intact families; the girl’s from divorced families have less trust
and less satisfaction towards a romantic relationship. Children’s from divorced family fear of
rejection and related to this they feel lack of trust very frequently that hinder their
relationship status. Children’s from divorced family believe that relationship is full of trouble,
harass persistently, think of infidelity, and have less trust, in general, they believe the
relationship should be approached with caution. (Daniel J, 2007)

2.3 The Effects of Divorce on Children’s

Many scholars stated that divorce has a different negative consequence on children. These
consequences can be categorized as psychological, social, economic, and even some times
political. Many researchers agree that divorce affects all children from divorced families.
According to Fagan (2012), the effects of divorce on divorcees may happen suddenly
following marital dissolution and it may take a long time to get back to normal life events,
Unfortunately some effects might still emerge in their later life events (Fagan, 2012).

16
Divorce is becoming a major phenomenon in Ethiopia and the rates also show risen during
past decades. According to (Family code proclamation, 2000), In Ethiopian society, divorce
is an unavoidable fact for many families. Divorce has various interconnecting factors that will
highly affect personal, social, cultural and economic factors for the divorced couples and
children’s in general.

According to Du Toit & Van Staden (2005), Divorce is not easy, it’s something that very
chaotic and shocking experience that can mark a dark future in the life events of every
person. There is so many various study’s that finds how a person affected by divorce by
showing the levels of depression feelings and traumatic experience through time (Parvez,
2011). And also some other scholar called Buit (2012), studied that how divorce cause a
severe stressful life for couples and their children’s because it leads them to a very complex
and challenging life event that can negatively hurt the lives of them. More than this, again
according to Parvez (2011), agree with, divorce directly linked with the social life of the
persons; it striking the individuals social life and make them solo runner. Marital dissolution
also causes a series of major shifts in the family roles and also relationships will be
miserable, for sure, there will be different homes for the couples and their children’s. (Tilson
and Larsen, 2000).

In contemporary, Schneller (2001), see the unseen part of a divorce. It revealed that divorce
also has a positive side for those who undergo difficulty times during marriage. It helps for
some of them liberate themselves from difficult life situations and it frees them to experience
the relief they have been held in their shoulders during their marriage. The researcher agrees
with that, divorce gives divorcee’s specially woman’s confidence, happiness, personal growth
and enables them highly to improve their mess lives and enable them to adjust to their post-
divorce lives.

But that doesn’t mean divorce has a great positive side than the negative ones. It’s a traumatic
incident for many people and its consequence is to create a very challenging situation for
divorcees (Ferreira Da Costa, 2007).In general, divorce is the most highly destructive life
situations that bring severe life change to divorcees that will bring psychologically, social and
economically regardless of whether the couples or their children’s.

Matthews (2012), came up with two general categories of the effects of divorce on children’s;
which is, short and long term effects. According to Matthews, short term effects of divorce
include: depression, aggression, anger, difficulty in economy, less parental guidance, low

17
academic achievement in schools, low self-confidence, low social adjustment, and low
consistent discipline. Matthews (2012), asserts that some of these behaviors are the ones that
are quite persistent throughout the long term effect of divorce for children’s.

According to Braver, et al (2008), divorce is not a good thing that a couple always gets in a
quarrel of war over many issues, and this has a big consequence for the children’s wellbeing.
Many children’s dream to have their own family with more children’s in the house and a long
lasting happy relationship forever (Jackel, 2001). Even infants wish to have an achievement
in their education. But when they become disappointed by their parent’s marital dissolution
they may become very weak in their achievements. Similarly, Serkalem (2006), stated that
divorce has a negative consequence on the divorcee’s whether on parents or children in
socially, psychologically and economically.

Therefore children in divorced families are greatly affected psychologically, socially,

emotionally, economically and in other related problems. But as long as the researcher gives
more intention to psychological and social problems of children’s from divorced problems.
Because the research needs to be narrowed more specifically to those two major problems.

2.4 Social Consequences of divorce on children

Divorce is a potentially disruptive event that leads to tragic and upheaval in children’s lives.
According to Kelly & Emery (2003) divorce causes is a wide range of behavioral and
psychological problems on children’s. The end of a marriage is negatively associated with a
lot of negative outcomes in the quality of children’s lives in the future as the result of changes
in the way that family interaction will not be the same again. Jeynes (2002), stated that anti-
social behavior is shown to be high on single parent children’s. Children’s who are living in
divorced families are more likely to act out antisocial behavior, they show aggression towards
almost anybody, they engage in sexual activity, including violence and they also have
difficulty in interacting with peers. This and related behaviors are all shown to be very high
among children’s who are from divorced parents. As the researcher it’s hard to believe in;
antisocial is the direct cause of divorce but social scientists speculate that “antisocial is a part
of a result from children’s who lost a parent-child relationship. Because it has been shown
that, parent’s involvement, support and guidance in the children’s day to day activity shown
decreased those types of behaviors.

According to (Balestrino, et al. 2008), often, divorce is a very complicated phenomenon that
includes everything from maintenance and child support until the phenomena recover to the

18
original situation. Meanwhile, children will be suffered by existing situations. But if the
situation is not handled properly, then the children’s develop a negative attitude towards
parents, love, marriage, family at all.

The effects of divorce are severe, it leads children’s hearts, minds, and souls to more pain.
From the unlikely beginning to observably significant and also the duration from short to
long term (Fagan and Churchill, 2012). Marital dissolution does weaken the relationship
between the family especially between parents and their children’s (Fagan, 1999). And also,
(Amato and Cheadle, 2005) agree with that; disagreement in the family generally erodes
children’s relationship with their parents, no matter whether the marriage is eventually ended.
Again (Fagan, 1999) argued that the effects of marital dissolution often lead children’s too
destructive conflict management methods, and also less social competence.

According to Amato (1994), children from divorced families experience more problems like
low academic status, bad attitude, poor psychological adjustment, and negative self-concept,
difficulty in relationship with friends and family low well-being than intact family children’s.

Lanahan and Sandefur (1994), agree that, children’s from divorced families are more
probably to drop out from their schools, less probability to attend their education in university
college, if it’s so then they have more probability to be “unemployed” then there is more
likely to experience economic difficulty as growing up to be adults.

2.5 Psychological Problem

Divorce related to psychological consequences problems have so many dimensions. The
emotional trauma of marital dissolution has a long term impact on the psychological
wellbeing of the families. According to Fagan & Churchil (2012), divorce increases
psychological discomfort immediately after divorce and have also long lasting negative
consequence for divorced family. Children from divorced family have likelihood to
experience emotional distress when they become adult. Amato (2005), concluded on that,
more than one third of children’s were depressed, academically doing poor, had hard time to
remain in friendships, experience sleep problem, and they hope that their parent’s will rejoin.

Related with psychological trauma, children’s affected in different ways about their parent’s
marital dissolution. Post-divorce life is full of challenging for children’s because they engage
themselves to stress about the phenomena. It is important and useful tip for the parents to

19
understand the stress that their children often experience when parents ‘divorce. Children
stress about the following:

The family will be changed: -children’s biggest threat is change. Divorce is the biggest
phenomena that will shuffle everything in the house and the family. When divorce happen in
the family, changes will occur in many responsibilities.

Loss of attachment: - usually children’s have a strong bond to their parents, sister and
brother and all of their family members. They become attached in everything and they don’t
want to lose this attachment. So, any change to this family set up, loss of contact with any of
their beloved one’s can cause real stressful life.

Abandonment: -when the children’s lost their beloved one families or loss any of them
attachments, then the next stressful event for them is fear of abandonment. Children’s fear if
they lost one of their parents then they may also lose the rest. They can’t have any guarantee
about the rest of the families who’s with them, because they think the rest will one by one
abandon them. Then they may blame themselves about what happened in the family, they feel
unlovable and mainly they feel not safe around their.

Hostility in the family: -it’s obvious that continues arguments in the family may make
children’s feel guilty, sadness, anger, isolation, too much worry, and frustration. The hard
decision for children’s is, trying to make them take one side of parent’s or turn against the
other parent will create too much confusion and places them in the middle of the ocean.
Children’s reaction to the stress of their parents’ divorce may vary from relief and fully
acceptance to sadness, anger, anxiety and frustrations.

Children’s will react in so many ways to their parents’ divorce. According to Bloom (2004),
divorce causes a distress reaction in children’s that can manifest in different types of
behavior. For example, as indicated in the above pages: depression, poor academic
performance, psychosomatic, interpersonal conflicts and many more. Suffered children by
their parents’ divorce often fear rejection, abandonment, fear of isolation or lack of their basic
needs met. Actually, their understanding about the phenomena will be shaped by their age
and stage of development. The common one is children’s of all ages of all ages will
experience signs of suffer.

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2.6 Immediate reactions
When parental divorce happens there is a lot of bad atmospheres running around in the
family. In that time, especially there is a lot of immediate reactions and actions going on in
children’s behavior because children’s are not the one who’s decision maker in the process of
their parental divorce. So, divorce is almost incident for them and they don’t know what to do
then there immediate reaction is different. Some of them are listed down as an examples.

Questioning their parents

Children’s may not questioning their parents when they first listen their parent’s divorce
news, but it’s highly happening to go back to their mind within weeks after the divorce
happens. Divorce shifts and cause great shock in child’s world, the children’s need an answer
and explanation about the phenomena which is happened in their family repeatedly because
it’s their one of simple coping mechanism and they will working through the confusion of
situation (Hooper ,2005).

Crying
According to Hooper (2005), if children cry, let them; don’t try to stop them or tell them to be
brave. Because, crying is all about a natural expression of their sorrow and that’s why it’s
good for them. If they do this they will be okay in their later life but if parents teach them to
be brave for nothing then they may find another way to express their sorrow in their later life
in an inappropriate way.

Believe in it is their fault

It will happen, children will curse themselves about their parent’s divorce. They think they
managed to cause the divorce. They will consistently asking themselves and try to search
what they have done to cause their parents’ divorce. If children’s find out and believe that
they are the reason for their parent’s divorce then they may do something bad by their own.
These feelings are not seen so it’s hard to easily understand for parents, but the feelings of
guiltiness are real for the children.

2.7 The way to coping mechanism

According to Compas et al (2001), coping is a conscious volitional efforts to control or
maintain emotion, cognition, behavior, physiology, and the environment in response to
stressful events or circumstances. In the argument of coping strategies, scholars classify
coping to two broad dimension, which is emotional focused coping and problem focused
21
coping mechanism (Lazarus & Folkman, 1984). But, these dimension have been highly
criticized for years for being too simplistic which is treat a complex issues as simple. In
response to this criticism Ayers et al, (1996), used four theoretically and empirically defined
coping categories, They believed that, the findings has been highly replicated in different
samples of children.

The model consists four conceptually different coping factors, which is: the first one is

Active coping- it’s about cognitive decision making, the children’s intended to focus on
direct problem solving ways, they seek understanding about the phenomena but the way out
from that distressful method in this category is positive thinking and be optimist about what
happened in the family.

Avoidant coping- this method is similar like denial, because it’s one of the coping method
to avoid thinking about the phenomena. They will try to use avoidant action and do a wishful
thinking.

Support seeking coping- children’s are not ready to handle this type of stressful
situation by themselves only so they will find someone or something which helps them or
show them the way how they will handle it. They need support for their actions and support
for their feelings!

Distraction- it’s a bad way to express their worse feelings inside of them. But they use it to
cope their feelings because it’s a physical release of their emotions.

The researcher believed that in the children’s later life not only coping mechanism is
effective but the way their coping efficacy is importance. It’s because coping efficacy is the
child’s subjective evaluation that they can successfully deal with distressful events for now
and for their future (Sandler et al, 2000). Coping efficacy’s likely to influence children’s
coping efforts and they will use different coping mechanism for their different stressful
events of their lives. If children’s coping mechanism they use are successful then their sense
of efficacy will highly increase and they will be use that type of coping strategy in their
future. But if their coping mechanism are negatively met its outcome, then they will less
likely to use that coping strategy in their future and they will also feel hopeless and helpless

The phenomena of divorce is hard on children because parents also have their own distress
and they may forget that their children is also suffer by the same type of distress. The pain the

22
distress the grief are equal feelings no matter how their parents feel about it because they are
both loss their beloved one in the family. As explained repeatedly in this research, children’s
experience a tons of emotions when their parents split up, like they disbelief, fear, anger,
sorrow and fear of rejection will dominate (Hooper, 2005).

Suffered children’s have a bunch of needs, for example, the need to be aware of their feelings
by somebody, the need to build trust, the need to have a power over their life, above all they
need family support to express their grief. Most of the people expect children’s to go through
the sorrow like their divorced parents have been. Even though, the sorrow affects children’s
individually depending on their age.

Children’s will react about divorce in different phases, for example According to Hooper
(2005), listed down the three phases which children go through in the distressful event of
divorce.

 The existing phase- this phase is the phase of the begging of all sufferings. During
this stage there are main emotions children’s will experience such as, shock, denial,
and anger. This stage is regarding to the information first heard about their parent’s
break up news so then, the child first defense mechanism is protect themselves from
this shocking news by avoiding the rumor. They first shock and next they will use
denial, at some point denial doesn’t work for the devastating news they heard about
their parent’s divorce then they probably become very angry; they use this to express
what they can’t deal the stress they on it.
Shock–it’s the result of the news they heard, they express by shock and bursting in
to tears. They don’t believe what’s is happening so they want to go back to play but
they swallow their scream, they look in confusion.
Denial–no matter what, children’s are not well prepared to handle the devastating
news because if they accept it then their world is about to fall apart. When children’s
first know about their parent’s process to divorce, goes in to emotional shock that
may temporarily easy the pain, when denial comes in turn, it prepare them
eventually about the separation of their parent. According to Whitman (2001), denial
is an attempt by the children’s to convince themselves that their parents are not
going to split up and let them think that everything will be alright the problem will
go away very soon.

23
 Anger–the parent’s should tell their children’s that the divorce is a reality because it
will help them that it’s something they will have to face in their life. It’s obvious
that, during this emotions the first feeling will be a fearful insecurity, filled with fear
and anxiety. Children may use anger to protect themselves from the stressful event
but the announcement of the divorce will bring angry reaction either immediately or
later when they have time to think about it. Then they will show their emotion by
action rather than by words. Hooper (2005) believed that, if the anger feeling
constructively handled it will be destructive or self-destructive.
 The secondary phase- and during this period children’s emotions will be the same
as the existing phase. However, in this phase they try to handle their feelings
differently. Instead of deny their feelings or shoot back to others, now they are
accepting the event and feel some of them such as, Feelings of guiltiness, anxiety,
depression and absence of hope.
Anxiety – for the loss of their parents, anxiety is a common emotion. They feel fear
that they will also lose the remaining parents in their lives. Hooper (2005) advice
that, it’s important to keep children’s life intact as before the separation of their
family as soon as possible. They will worry even for money, they think about who
can help them with finance, who will cook and care them or who will take them to
school.
Depression –it’s a common reaction to overwhelming pain. This is different very
different from depression caused by chemical imbalance in inside of our body, this
depression is like “reactive depression” because it’s in reaction to parental divorce.
Depression stage begins when children’s are moved beyond denial know that they
can’t deny anymore, they can’t control their parents. Children’s will worry about,
where they will be living, how they can learn peacefully, whether their parent’s still
love them and so on.
 The acceptance- this phase is as the name indicated it’s the phase of accept what is
happened in the family. This period is known as coping because the children’s defense
mechanism is at the normal range distinguishing the acceptance phase (Hooper, 2005).
children’s in this phase reach a point to accept what’s already done. Many children
reach the phase of acceptance of their parent’s divorce after two years and they will try
to handle the crisis throughout their later life. Age six to eight children’s will return to

24
their play or day dreaming about their parents’ divorce or they will accept the
phenomena and trust the next chapter of their life.
The children’s may also restore their self-confidence and security, return their faces t
their scholastic achievements, new friendship and finally accept the new structure of
family. The key part in the acceptance phase is that the children’s now have the
ability to cope in the life circumstances in their life, face the truth about their family
in the sense of acceptance and restore there hope.

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CHAPTER THREE: RESEARCH DESIGN AND METHODOLOGY
This chapter presents the research design, sample, sampling technique, data collection
instrument and procedure and, analysis and ethical consideration.

3.1. Description of the Study Area

Gondar city, which is located in the northern part of Ethiopia, AT A DISTANCE of 776km
from Addis Ababa, capital of Ethiopia and 182km from Bahir Dar capital of Amhara
National Regional State. The city has above 384,000 populations. Located in the Semien
Gondar Zone of the Amhara Region, Gondar is north of Tana Lake on the Lesser Angereb
River and southwest of the Simien Mountains. It has a latitude and longitude of 12°36′N
37°28′E with an elevation of 2133 meters above sea level. It is surrounded by the Gondar
Zuria woreda. Gondar served as a strong Christian kingdom for many years (Wikipedia). The
city has six sub-cities.

3.2. Research Approach

Creswell (2007), stated that there are different criteria to select research approaches based on
three factors, which is the research problem, the researcher personal experience and the
peoples for whom the research will be written. Depending on this, the researcher employed
the qualitative method as a research approach. Because the research title is hard to explain by
numbers rather it’ll be clearer when explained in an in-depth manner and the reader of this
research will understand in detail the consequence of divorce on children’s psychological and
social wellbeing. Also, the qualitative approach enabled the researcher to deeply explore the
issue and present the findings from the point of participants experience and their perception.

The qualitative approach is very effective for the researcher in establishing the intangible
factors, such as the psychological and social feelings, coping mechanism, how children’s
react and feel about their parental divorce. Creswell (2007), believed that a qualitative
approach enables the researcher to highly depend on the participants answer on the issue
under study because qualitative approach uses the open-ended questions towards the
participants. This method helps to gather information about the psychological and social
consequences of divorce on children’s and their coping mechanisms based on their
experience by referring to their stories. This has given the researcher an in-depth

26
understanding of the topic in general and the children’s beliefs and attitudes following their
parental divorce.

3.2.1 Research Design

The study also used phenomenology as a research design, the reason why the researcher used
this design is that this design helps to understand the subjective, lived experiences and
perspectives of the participants. It also helps the researcher to focus on the children and their
experiences by using an interview for data collection. Phenomenology focuses on discussing
what all participants have in common as they experience a phenomenon (Creswell, 2007). All
participants in this study were children from divorced families.

In general, the phenomenological design provides information about unique individual

experiences, so the qualitative research method and phenomenological design were employed
to explain deeply the issue under study.

3.3. Sources of Data

This study used relied on primary data sources as well as secondary data sources
which are, various related literatures on the issue under study. Primary sources gathered
from practical field study using semi structured in-depth interviews carried out with
children’s who have experience their parents’ divorce. The rest data were gathered mainly
from journals, articles, books, unpublished materials and the internet.

3.4 Population, Sample size and Sampling Techniques

In order to collect data for the participants, the researcher selected six participants for the in-
depth interview mainly because the researcher used phenomenology design. This enabled the
researcher to conduct an in-depth interview through open-ended questions as it requires
plenty of time. In addition, in reference of other scholars who studied the effect of divorce
included small number of participants in their qualitative researches. For example, Murray
(2012), has only twelve participants the reason was thinking that the sample was big enough
for qualitative study, Schneller (2001), also used small number of participants for conducting
qualitative study.

Hence, so much time and energy was undertaken that needed sufficient time to get
willing participants who provided genuine information for the study under investigate.

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3.4.1 Population

In selection of sampling site and targeting population, random, purposive and snowball
sampling methods was employed. The researcher used random sampling just because to
select sample secondary schools. This is because all schools are assumed have similar
attributes in the case of divorce. The targeted sample are students who have experienced
parental divorce. These students were selected purposively with the assistance of their
school counselor. Purposive and snowballing sampling technique was employed to
select sample students. their experience of parental divorce was taken as major criteria
to select participants.

According to Creswell (2007), participants for a qualitative study need to be carefully chosen
to be individuals who have all the experience of the phenomenon in question, so that the
researcher in the end can forge a common understanding. So, for the purpose of collecting
primary data, the researcher purposefully select six participants for the in-depth semi
structured interview.

3.4.2 Sample size

[

According to Saunders, Lewis and Thornhill (2012), a population is the whole set of group
members in this case those students who experienced parental divorce in the selected school
might be many. That’s why we need sample, a sample is a small scale of the population
selected for the research to act as a symbol of the large population. Just because it is difficult
to collect conduct data using the whole population.

Often data collection in phenomenological studies consists of in-depth interviews with

participants. Creswell (2007), recommends that researchers interview from 5 to 25
individuals who have all experience the phenomenon. So the researcher decided the
population sample size to be 6 children’s who have experienced parental divorce. The reason
behind 6 students was selected is due to the schools out there haven’t a written document of
children’s who face their parental divorce. So the researcher can’t get a whole population in
the school rather try to get those 6 students and do the interview.

28
3.4.3 Sampling technique

Initially convenient sampling technique was employed to select participants. This was
followed by snowballing technique for the rest of the participants. This is because the
researcher needs referral for additional participants who have experienced parental divorce.
Babbie (2013), argues that snowballing as a non-probability sampling method is preferred
when each participant to be interviewed is requested to suggest other people that they
know with a mutual experience.

The researcher initially with voluntary children who have experienced parental divorce and
invited them to participate in the study. Once the participant themselves or school counselor
agreed and signed up for the study by giving verbal assent, they requested by the researcher
to sign consent forms authorizing their students participate in the study. The only reason the
researcher asked the consent of the counselor rather the parents is just because, the researcher
can’t easily access the students’ parents and as long as the teachers or the counselors have an
obligation to take care of their students, they will give a permission to do the study with the
children’s.

3.5 Data Collection Instrument

3.5.1 Primary data

In order to get the primary data, in-depth semi structured interview were applied to gather the
field data. In-depth interview (IDI) were help full to conduct children’s whom experienced
their parental divorce. In-depth interview (IDI) enables the researcher to collect more data
which may not have been possible through any other means (ECC, 2010). This interview
provided an opportunity for the researcher to get detail information about the causes of
divorce and the effects on children’s psychological and social wellbeing.

In-depth Interview

To collect comprehensive data from the participants of the research, an in-depth interview
guide was employed. The content of the semi structured interview was reviewed and
approved by the advisor later discussed and made it ready to apply. The advisor of this
research made a serious revision on the content of the interview and review being on the
focus of the consequences of marriage on children and the psychological and social
consequences and also coping mechanisms that are important for the study. The interview

29
guide covered brief demographic information, psychological and social consequences of
divorce on children and their coping mechanisms.

So one of important process in data collection is to use recording procedures when

conducting one on one interview. Design and use an interview protocol include open-ended
questions and ample space between the questions to write responses to the interviewee’s
comments. The researcher determined the place for conducting the interview. Found a quiet
location free from distractions. I checked the physical setting is comfortable for the
participant and to audiotape the data. After arriving at the interview site, the researcher was
obtained consent from the interviewee to participate in the study. During the interview, the
researcher was stayed to the questions, complete the interview within the time specified,
respectful and courteous, and offer a few questions and advice.

The participants took the consent form from the researcher, the agreement form for children’s
below 18years. The researcher will be available for the parents or teachers who needed to ask
questions or clarifications according to the study or any other concerning that would make
them feel unpleasant as they participate in this research. Participation in this study was
completely voluntary and the participants had their full right to get to aware of this fact. They
were participating in this research without any force rather it was depended on their wills.

Finally, the interview questions were conducted in the field by Amharic version but the
results were translated into English to do data analysis. For accuracy, the translation of
languages was checked by the advisor of this research to get an accurate version.

3.5.2 Secondary data collection

The main sources of secondary data for this study were: various related literatures on the
issue under study gathered mainly from journal articles, books, and other divorce related
documents, unpublished materials and the internet.

3.6 Data Analysis Methods

The researcher used an interview to have in-depth information from participants. According
to Creswell (2007), he added different ways to have an interview with participants. Such as
telephone interview, a focus group interview and one on one interview. Among the different
forms of interview, a one to one interview was employed to collect data. According to

30
Creswell (2007). Because of the sensitivity of the topic, it’s advisable to ask participants
about their personal experience in a one on one interview. This is the best way to
encourage participants to talk with freedom.

Data analysis for this study was carried out based on the research questions. Data analysis go
through the data (e.g. interview transcriptions) and highlight “significant statements”
sentences or quotes that provide an understanding of how the participants experience the
phenomenon. Creswell (2007), suggested that the researcher also writes about their own
experiences and the context and situations that have influenced their experiences and reflect
these personal statements at the beginning of the discussion or put it in the middle or last
lines.

According to Murray (2012), purposively data are analyzed for categorizing, examine,
summarize and give the order to describe in a meaningful way. Then after the researcher read
and listen to all the respondents' data carefully for the analysis process and got an idea about
the whole information, then the researcher was do coding together with the data under the
psychological, social and coping mechanism. After this, the researcher brought together the
data received from interview respondents to each category where it belongs and started
analysis. This process will help the readers of this study to have an easy and clear
understanding of the topic. All the issues discussed in the analysis part is using data from the
semi-structured in-depth interview with children’s whose parent’s divorced.

3.7 Ethical Considerations

In collecting and organizing any research, it is the responsibility of every researcher to keep
his participant’s secret. During the process of this study, necessary measures as taken to
ensure ethical standards. Participants were informed about the purpose and objective of the
research.

At any time in the process of data collection the researcher will maintain
confidentiality of the information given by participants. initially, I was establish a
good rapport with participants. participants (children) was informed that they have the
right to withdraw from the study at any time in the data collection process if they felt
uncomfortable with it or if they have any other reasons that they will not be able to continue
with the research. The participants and their counselor were informed about all the reality
about the study before they signed the assent forms orally and in paper. This was help to

31
make sure that they are fully aware of the study and for what they are signed the assent
form. Informed consent was signed by a counselor who had the right to do it as long as the
informants are under 18 years old but they gave their consent in oral.

32
[
CHAPTER FOUR: RESULTS AND DISCUSSION

In this chapter the findings of the study are presented in line with the research questions. In
the first part, the background of participants is presented. The next part also focused on
psychological and social consequence of divorce on children. And the final part will be the
coping mechanism children’s use to cope up with the feelings of their parents’ divorce.

4.1 Demographic Background of Children’s

[

Table 1: Demographic information for participants

No Sex Age Educatio Whom you are When did your How old were you when
nal level live with parents’ divorce your parents divorced
1 F 17 9th With mother Before 6th month 17
2 F 17 9th With mother Before 5 year 12
3 F 16 9th With mother Before 1 year 15
4 F 16 9th With mother Unknown Unknown
5 M 17 9th With mother Before 1 year 16
6 M 18 10th With mother Before 6th month 18

4.2 Consequences of Divorce on Children Wellbeing

Consequence of divorce is worse for some of participants in the process of divorce. It’s one
of the major distressful event. The problem is even worse for children’s. The next sub
chapters will tell about how children’s affected by divorce in their psychological and social
wellbeing and also their coping mechanism to cope up with the feeling of their parents’
divorce.

4.2.1 Psychological consequence of divorce on children’s

The findings of this part indicated that divorce has a multidimensional effect on children’s
psychological wellbeing. According to the study finding, it’s visible that the majority
children’s are highly affected by their parents’ divorce. Children starting from parents’
disagreement and the process of divorce, suffered by social, emotional and also psychological
wellbeing.

33
Almost all of the respondent psychological wellbeing is differs. They believed that they now
gain a lot of new behavior because of their parents’ divorce. Their wellbeing have shown an
extraordinary difference. Like, most of the respondents shared the same idea that they are
now completely in other psychological wellbeing. They are now angrier, fearful, and
ashamed by themselves, careless in everything of their lives, jealousy of seeing other family,
feeling of isolation, feeling of forgotten, fearing of losing their custodial parent and some
other psychological consequences are on the respondents’ side. For instance respondent six
believed in that:

“…I wish my father is still with us, I love him. But as long as he is not here I feel
much stressed, I feel something missed in my life and also very fearful that I may also
lost my mom like my father.”
It’s clearly seen that majority respondents have a negative psychological consequence due to
their parents’ divorce. Feeling of forgotten and thinking about what will happen in the
next is also one factor raised by respondent 4: “I worried a lot, when thinking about
what will be happen next in my life. Everything seems too worse for me; I have a problem on
decision making.”

Respondent 6 also share his tough time said “I had a feeling of forgotten by my parents, that
really makes me fearful. I continuously cry because of the hard situation I’m living.”

And also because of the closeness of the month which his father left the home, respondent 6
said that he always miss his father and also want his father to come back to him. This two
participants already suffered by psychological attacks which is feeling of unworthiness
and they perceived that their next life will be miserable because of the divorce.

There is also shown in the study that the children’s after their parents’ divorce have
completely different life style whether it’s positive or negative. The next part will show us
how children’s live in post-divorce.

Elizabeth & Toby (1995), stated that the unseen part of divorce is, when the married couples
end their marriage by divorce then another type of divorce will happen between parents and
their children sooner or later. The first cause of divorce is the marital conflict that leads
children’s psychologically, socially and emotionally disrupt.

Children’s attitude about getting married when they become adult is negative. Especially
female respondents have negative attitude for marriage and also negative perception for boys
after their parent’s divorce and their father left them alone.

34
All of girls respondent (four),they are pretty sure by themselves that they don’t want to get in
to marriage sooner or later, they want to live their lives without getting married because they
fear about the history of their parent’s will repeat in their life too. Some respondents believed
that the reason for their parent’s divorce is their father and they perceive that all men’s will
be like their father and others perceive marriage in dark glass because of what
happened in their life. In a different way, the remaining two boys have positive perception
about marriage unlike girl’s respondents. They wish themselves to be a good husband and
father for their future marriage when the time come. they believed that their mother suffers a
lot because of their father so that’s why, they see their mothers struggle to make them happy,
to fulfill their needs and everything is on mother’s shoulder, the boy responded that:

“…Seeing my mom struggle too much without any help to make me happy is really
hard for me. I always tell myself, I should be a good husband when i get married
because I see how divorce affects my mother so I don’t want to do this again like my
father did, I always strive to be a better person.”
From the above statement, it’s clearly seen that, divorce has a long term effect in children’s
psychological wellbeing. For some of them it will shade negative attitude and for some of
them also it will have a positive mark on their adult stage. Sarah, et al (2008), agree with this
finding that, girls’ ambition about marriage are likely to be overwhelmed by grief. Yet, it’s
clear that, girls with no effect during their parents’ divorce will form a secure friendship
based on love during their adulthood stage.

Unlike the previous literature, Steven and Karen (1985), reported that, their father presence at
home help them develop more psychosocial wellbeing but unlike girls, boys from divorced
families will experience less masculine behavior and gender identification and they will
develop more feminine behavior. But this researcher found that boys from divorced
parents develop a sense of responsible for their dream wife because they saw how
divorce affect their mother than their father.

According to Susan and Catherine (2001), parental divorce often leads to low trust among
their children’s in their future life. The divorce of their family often makes their romantic
relationship more difficult when they reach adulthood level. Their parent’s divorce makes
dating horror for children, it horrifies adult’s romantic relationship for the rest of their life.
The effects of their parents’ divorce will hunt them in to adulthood romantic relationship
level.

35
Wallerstein (2013), have a common conclusion that, divorce puts children at greater disaster
for a lot of problems. This study also indicates that children’s from divorced family are
affected by many problems.

The Post-Divorce Life

For most family, divorce is full of companionship and caring each other with love and peace.
But unfortunately, this will not last long and all of the good times come to end. This bad
phenomena will hurt children’s the same like couples do. After divorce life is completely
different. There is a missing person in the family and they will remember that person in every
step of life. For instance respondent six shared his life like:

“I would love to bring my dad here with me, I still miss him a lot. I always feel sad
when I remember him, especially when the special events come or seeing other
families united. We had a great family together but now it’s not. I remained silent
most of my time, feeling dizzy is common for me now a time.”

4.2.1.1 Negative Psychological Impacts

[[

The child respondents reported that they are highly negatively affected with a lot of
interrelated consequences of divorce. Most of the respondents agree that they all are affected
by the divorce of their parents. The majority are negatively affected, they are now silent,
fearful, careless and also ashamed of what happened in their family. Their before and after
personality is completely changed whether in positive or negative way. For instance
respondent 5 said that:

“Divorce of my parents was too heavy for me to handle. I was very shocked when I
heard the news that my parents are going to divorce and I reacted by crying a lot but
after that my personality is changed, I was careless about anything I just came home
for food and go back to my friends every day. Now, I’m starting to care for my mother.
I’m trying to do what she told me to do. There is no one for her to help as long as my
father left so here I am now for my mother.”
And in the negative way, the rest of all respondents suffer the consequence, and also the
father role in home is very significant but when the father left home alone then the children
will not feel secured anymore. The next respondent shared her life story:

“Before my parent’s divorce my fathers like a head of our family, he watch over us, he
controlled everything, which was why I was too secured. but after my father left us
alone i feel like there is no one now who will control me; and then I become like who
spent all her day out of the house and also now I adapted the nagging behavior, I
insult and upset in almost everything”

36
She is not the only child whom after their parents’ divorce that are changed their personality.
Respondent three also shared the previous respondents life story, respondent three was in bad
situation even before the divorce, she reacted as follows:

“…even before the divorce there was no love and peace at home at all, my father
drunk alcohol a lot and he came back to a house late at night and he always disturbs
us, he tried to beat us and my mother too, he always said go out in my house. Because
of that my mother cries a lot and we also. When I heard the news that they will divorce
I was started to worry about what will happen to us next, I barely go to school. But in
the other side we were in peace, he no longer disturbs us. I feel free and peaceful now.
I no longer need him. He’s now married to other woman but I don’t care I already
hate him.”

Fear, Anger, Grief& Loneliness

Out of the total interview informants of children’s five of them reported that they passed
through significant major psychological chaos because of their family break-up, which lasted
for a long period. They shared their life stories that they experienced stress, fear, grief, and
loneliness when they experience the beginning of their loneliness time without their parents.
These informants described painful psychological consequence during and after the process
of their parents’ divorce which for majority of respondents last for a long period of time. The
children’s experienced the loss of their family in a way of physical support as well as
emotional support.it was also stated by the study that the divorce of their parents bring
psychological mess in their life, hence, they were forced to hide their emotion and feeling
kept for themselves and they don’t want to share their parents’ divorce status with others.

Some of these children informants faced a variety of emotional disturbances as a result of the
psychological effects of their parents’ divorce. The loss of physical support is means a lot for
most of the respondents. They reacted to the increased grief of their day to day life by swap
their feeling to stress and more load of grief feeling. The respondents who had been
dissatisfied with their family situation even before divorce, they valued their presence and
somehow friendship and they reported that they became distressed when the divorce
happened. However, the effect only affected them for a quite short period of time. Informant
number one and three shared a common feeling about their parents’ divorce. They
experienced a hard time even before their parents’ divorce. They living with their mother
now and their father was harsh for them and when the divorce happened both respondents
feel stressed but that only remains for short period of time, respondent number one even
agree that her parents’ divorce was a good decision. She reacted like this:

37
 “When the divorce was going to happen I feel so stressed and distressed a lot of my
time and feel like nothing is possible for us now without our father even if he had no
good behavior. But after a short period of time I tried to stand with all my feet to help
my mother as the elder one child in the home. Now this time, I don’t feel like past time,
I agree that their divorce was a good decision for all of us instead of keep nagging all
the time day and night.”
Anger and Hatred
One of the respondent three, said that she is now free and feel peace instead of her father left
them alone. She consider her father responsible for all her life sufferings and difficulties even
before the divorce. This respondent described her feelings towards her father. She said:

“My father wasn’t a nicest father at all, he came to home late at night and disturbs us
especially my mother suffer a lot. I always feel ashamed by him in front of my friends.
When the divorce happened I feel stressed though but now I’m totally free and happy.
No one will disturb us anymore. Now at this time I hate my father a lot now; I heard a
news this soon that he’s married another girl and I hate him more.”
The remaining respondents haven’t anger or hate towards their father, they feel missing them,
they feel they lost big thing of their life, they wish he is there with them and many more
positive feeling to their left behind father. However, there is one respondent who experienced
hatred and anger feeling for her father. As all the respondents reacted for the psychological
interviews, they feel that their new personality over shadow them because of the process of
divorce and post-divorce life. They feel like they are now a whole different person whether
they like it or nor or whether in a positive way or negative way.

According to this finding the following scriptures have something in common:

According to Angarne-Lindberg (2010), agree with this research finding by stated that
individuals who pass through psychological consequences experience distress, grief and
trauma after divorce. Even if children’s are not the one whose voice is heard when parents
decide about divorce doesn’t mean that children’s after divorce life is really unaffected.

And also Ferreira Da Costa (2007), finding agree with the finding that how post-divorce
life is full of stressful event for children explains, the new identity taken following of
divorce contributes for a major life stressors in adjusting post-divorce

In a similar way, according to Kotwal & Prabhakar (2009), conclude that divorce is known as
one of the most significant life stressor that causes psychological, social and health problems
for the party’s involved on it. It is also clearly visible by the respondents that they experience
problems like anxiety, grief, anger, feeling of incompetence, feeling of rejected, loss of

38
emotional ties with their parents, loss of physical support like guidance and loneliness. In
support of this idea, According to Serkalem (2006), explains that, divorce may create mental
health for the divorcee’s including their children temporarily. This crisis is caused as a result
of marital disruption is usually limited in time, it may be aroused by sometimes by
spontaneous events and has the positive possibility of resolution. The findings of this research
also have respondents whom they stated that the crisis is limited for them by time and it
didn’t last long on them. This respondents had passed through the divorce process like their
parents and they now adjust well in the post life of divorce.

4.2.1.2 Positive psychological impacts

[

This study also found some positive psychological benefit from the respondents
despite of their parents’ divorce. usually, it’s unlikely to experience positive out come
from one of the most traumatic life event phenomenon. however, despite of the
numerous difficulties of divorce, some of the respondents gain various positive results
from their parent’s divorce. when children’s asked about their post-divorce lives they
respond that they benefited and experience positive psychological impacts. this positive
psychological impact reported by participants are, alleviation, freedom, being
responsible and happiness is their benefit after their parents’ divorce. this respondents
defined their self-growth in terms of psychological, social and emotional. their post-
divorce is now full of confidence and sense of responsibility for their custodial parent
in their post-divorce life.

Alleviation and Freedom

Despite of their immediate reaction for the news of their parents’ divorce in the way
like all of the participants do, but this respondents experience some positive experience
after the divorce. The feeling of alleviation is something which this participants experience
when their divorced father was not good for them or their mother at all. After the
divorce this children’s started to live a happy family despite of the missing person in
their home. Two respondents have similar experience regards to alleviation and
freedom after their parents’ divorce. Respondent 3 reported her experience like:

“…I feel freedom now, my father was always came to home and disturbs us, i can’t
study during late he disturbs me. He told us to leave the house. But now I’m happy,
it’s a relief for me. I’m happy because they divorced. He’s such a looser and i hate
him more now even before.”

39
It’s not something different for this respondent to be happy in the unlikely moment but her
previous life with her parents wasn’t not too comfortable. That makes them to distress even
before the divorce but when the divorce happen they see the positive way. Similar to this
participant, respondent 1 also had a distressful and traumatic life before her parents’ divorce.
Her family was always nagging and she reported that she hated that circumstance.
She tried to remember like this:

“…I hated my home at all because of the quarrel, misunderstanding and harsh
speaking between my parents. I even think about flee away from home or commit
suicide but now I don’t think about it, there is alleviation inside home now.”
This two respondents who experience positive relief after their parents’ divorce are
those who have a bad and negative attitude to their parents before divorce. their
home and family was full of misunderstanding, violent and quarrel and the one thing
that ends that era was divorce, so they experience relief and freedom despite of the
grief and sorrow.

Happiness

Like the previous topic, participants also experience happiness in their aftermath of
parental divorce. it’s because they started to see improvements in their life as a
prospect to growth and development. divorce helped them to avoid all their stress and
traumas they felt during their parents violent relationship and to recover from their
traumas. according to children’s, their immediate reaction to their parent divorce like
the rest of other respondents they felt in sadness but their post-divorce was different.
after divorce, they become satisfied by their parents decision to divorce and they
happy. two participants shared the same feeling about their parent’s divorce, they are
happy. for instance respondent 1 said, “Now I’m fine, I don’t feel stress. I’m happy
because they choose to divorce. they were not happy by their relationship so I
preferred their divorce and now I’m happy.”

Schneller (2001) support the findings of this study, which issue the unseen part of divorce. It
revealed that divorce also have a positive side for those who undergo through a difficulty
times during marriage. It helps for some of them liberate themselves from difficult life
situations and it free them to experience the relief they have been hold in their shoulder
during their marriage. On the contrary of this finding, Bereket (2012) revealed that, divorcees
experience low happiness and poor psychosocial wellbeing. Divorce creates stressful life that
causes chronic stress that may affect psychological and physiological illness. Despite of this

40
Rawlins (2012) stated that, divorce has a positive side that can create happiness for
individuals who are involved on it. The end of unsuccessful and unhappy marriage open
opportunities for divorcee’s better freedom and happiness. Moreover, the informants of this
study reported that the divorce of their parents has exposed to new life experience with
freedom and happiness and it give them the chance to enjoy a peaceful and quiet life. So,
divorce helped this two respondents experience their freedom, happiness and joy.

However, this study shows that not all respondents have a bad feeling about their parents’
divorce there are also some respondents that they agree and they are happy for their parents’
divorce because it’s better for their parents and for them to choose a separate way rather
living in same roof together. this respondent believe that for sure, their parents’ divorce
enables their parents and mainly them to stay healthy and happy without inhibiting them from
moving forward after their parents’ divorce. This in turn helps them by avoiding any feelings
of disturbance and disappointment that will negatively impact their lives in every way of
aspect.

4.2.2 Social consequences

According to Kavas (2010), various societies all over the world have different view and
attitude towards divorce and divorcees who undergo through the process of divorce. Some
cultures have a positive perception and others have a negative attitude towards divorce. There
are various factors for dissimilarity of different perception for divorce and divorcees. For
example, socio-economic status, geographical area that change the perception of divorce. For
this reason, the researcher sees this useful to see the societal perception in Ethiopian context
towards divorce and divorcees from the perspective of respondents to give insight in to the
perception of the people.

4.2.2.1 Positive Social support

[

Four of the respondents reported that they have never felt negative social acceptance towards
their parents’ divorce rather they receive care, support and positive advice from their school
friends and neighbors despite of their status. They also add that their elder neighbors even
tried to make peace to their divorced parents. People around them do not have a negative
attitude towards divorce and this children respondents have respect and great encouragement
from their friends and society at all.

41
The majority of the respondent shared their feeling of sadness with the society with respect
and love. They respond that, they are highly surrounded by the caring society that helps them
to handle the situation of their family divorce. the society have not any negative attitude
towards them or their mother, rather, they tried to be there with us, they encourage us to be
strong and brave. As an example, respondent one reported about the attitude of the society
when her parent’s divorce is:

“…My neighbors and friends was with me through all that difficult time. My friends
come to my place and have fun with me, they made me laugh and I’m happy by my
friends support. The neighbors was also amazing, they help me and my mother to be
strong, and they promise to provide anything we need. They advise us, they guide us.
They even tried to reconcile my parents.”
Even though according to the findings the majority respondents have a positive attitude from
the society but there is also negative attitude. Although, the majority of the respondents of
this study have not faced any negative social attitude doesn’t mean that there is no social
stigma at all in the Ethiopian society. There is also instances where two respondents faced
social exclusion. This might be because of the norm and values of the society that keeping up
marriage is essential. In support of this finding, divorce results negative change on children’s
in their social relationships. For this reason, in Ethiopian society because of there is positive
attitude towards marriage, some children’s face negative perception by their friends and
neighbors because of their parents’ divorce.

In contrary of this finding, Serkalem (2006) stated that, divorces experience negative social
relation with a decline social networks. But participants find it a welcoming environment for
them. They never experience the negative attitude in the social context rather social’s help
them to be strong, brave, and also guide them to a better person in their post-divorce life. The
elder one’s also tried to make agreement between the divorced couples for the sake of
children’s. So this respondents only experience the social positive attitude and perception
towards them.

4.2.2.2 Negative perception of society

[

As the findings of this study indicates, social problem is one of the major consequence of
divorce that children encountered during their parents’ divorce. Through interview, some
children’s wellbeing were deeply hurts by the society’s negative attitude. This children’s also
added that, there was a deep silence in the home, they feel that, they are helpless, lost
everything, feeling of incompetence, and fear for their custodial parent for they will leave
them one day. This effect of their parents’ divorce damages their close relationships with
42
their parents. This children respondents shared their social history like they were unhappy in
and out of the house environment and dissatisfy by the support and care, they easily angry,
upset, and sad.in this case, they now have developed weaker emotional bonds with their
society than before.

Two informants unlike the others, had experienced the negative social perception against
their parents’ divorce status that really disrupted their psychological and social wellbeing in
their post-divorce life.one of the respondent stated that the neighbors of them are trying to
make peace to their parents but they talk hateful speech’s about her father is make her
uncomfortable. The other respondents also shared their idea what the social context did
negative attitude to them. This informants had through in a very difficult situation.

Respondent four shared her experience:

“The society perception to me was negative, our neighbors sneer about my parent’s
divorce and also my school friends sometimes mock me and have fun on me because of
my parents’ divorce and really hate it that really hurts me so much.”
Parvez (2011) findings also similar to the opinion; indicated that the divorce perception in
society is influenced by the social values. It is also visible that following divorce of their
parents, children’s suffer from social support and segregation that will fill their post-divorce
life with external as well as internal difficulties.

In general, the study findings conclude that divorce affects the relationships of children with
their social context. Some of the respondents reported that the social life and relationship
with their friends and neighbors are now much different than their previous life before their
parents’ divorce. The majority of the respondents reacted to the social positive attitude
despite of their parents’ divorce but two respondents shared their social relationship that
affect them not to able to get moral and psychological support they need. They indicated that
the love and friendship they had been getting from their some of school friends and neighbors
has almost stopped after their parents’ divorce. In addition, the problem of loneliness is
higher for this children. Therefore their immediate and most available support is hiding in
their home and doing things that made them refresh. One of the respondent shared his ideas
when he feels loneliness:

“…Because of my parent’s divorce I feel rejected and forget by my parents. Deep

silence is almost my character now a time. I couldn’t pursue my education properly
and everything has become a disaster for me. I almost become a lonely boy and has

43
 isolated myself from others. My only enjoyment is game. I love playing game and that
is the only way that can make me forget all those stories.”
Although, the finding of this study shows that majority of children’s has good relationship
with their friends’ and neighbors. Furthermore, the social relationship of the majority of
children’s with neighbors and friends has continued. This informants have passed through
challenging situations as a result of their parent’s divorce. The children’s how negative
psychological and social condition like, they become quiet, emotional, feeling of isolation
and sensitive too. Because of some social stigma, they have developed strange attitudes and
they preferred to be all alone instead of actively participating and interacting with their
friends and neighbors.

4.3 Coping Mechanisms of Children from Divorced Family

[

The respondents reported that they faced many psychological and social challenges during
and after their parent’s divorce. The informants’ cited their way of coping mechanism to
overcome the problems. Effective coping method can lead divorcees to positive outcomes.
This section will discuss on coping mechanisms that the respondents on this study used to
overcome the problems they face and even to adjust their lives after their parents’ divorce.

During the study, the majority of respondents agree that her custodial parents provide
whatever they need to fulfill their needs and make them feel happy but despite of their
parent’s effort, the children’s have still experienced various challenging situations as the
result of parental divorce. Children’s prefer other coping mechanism rather their parents
effort to fulfill their needs by buying toys and other material. effective coping
mechanism taken by children’s will lead them to positive outcomes in their lives. the
following section will show children’s have been using coping mechanism in order to
cope up the difficulties they face because of the divorce and to adjust their aftermath
of parental divorce

4.3.1 Chooses to be Spiritual

Out of the six respondents two of them are reported that their spirituality has helped them
greatly in adjusting their new life condition after their parents’ divorce. Respondent five
reported that:

“After my parent’s divorce, I highly relied on God to help me cope up various

challenges I had. Always go to church and read bible helped me to have a normal

44
 thinking. I feel grow after my parent’s divorce and in sadness moment I seek God and
he gave me strength. I permanently do this to find peace and cope up my problems.”
Thus, this two respondents believe in the divine power to enable them cope up their problems
and they will have a better future. They highly depend on God to get help from their pain and
they believe that only God can help them to get out of their mess. Apart from depending, they
also committed to go to church and read the holy bible also helped them to have a better life.
The same as Molina (1999), explained that, spirituality enables the divorcees to handle
properly the problem they face and to experience positive changes in their lives. This finding
pointed out that, some children respondents’ use spirituality as their coping strategy to adjust
themselves in post-divorce lives. Having faith in God resolves their parental divorce
psychological and social trauma. Despite of their parents’ divorce, children’s reported that
spirituality made them feel happy and strong, this respondents are able to cope up with their
after divorce troubles as a result of other means.

4.3.2 Seeking Support from their friends and families

Again, out of the six respondents two of them relied on supportive way to survive the
challenges they faced after their parents’ divorce. Their support is mainly comes from their
friends and their custodial parents. Respondent two reported that:

“…In the moments of sadness, my friends and my family members were the only ones
who were with me and to share my problems. My friends gave me a lot of fun, and
moral support. And also my family gave me material support. They gave me all until
now without any limitation in every aspect.”
Unlike the other respondents, one of the respondents stated that, her mother can’t support her
or guide her because she is too hurt by divorce than her. This respondent can’t gain any
support because her mother can’t taking care of herself and she can’t forget about the divorce
and its pain.

It’s concluded that some of this respondents are heavily relied on their friends in their hard
time and also their family helped them by fulfilling their needs to adjust their post-divorce
live. The respondents realize that their close friends and families were a strong source of
support to cope up their problems. This highly shows that Ethiopian society is a collectivist
society, believe in share and support others to those who are highly in need of help. This is
why that respondents’ family and friends come to the front line for help them cope up their
problems and respondents admitted that they benefitted from them. Hence, the study finding

45
revealed that friends and families help is an important coping mechanism for children’s to
deal with their parents’ divorce.

[[
4.3.3 Entertainment
In this part, respondents choose their different way of coping to escape from their
psychological, social and emotional distress. From the six respondents four of them use
entertainments as a coping mechanism of their own. This respondent’s entertainment is
including playing soccer, video games watching movies and listening music is part of them.
Respondent four reported her coping mechanism even if there is another way for her: “I love
music, music is my painkiller, my family was there for me, they fulfill all our needs but my
main tool for forgetting those problem is music, music is above all for me.”

This respondent said that her family is there to help her cope up her negative feeling, they
fulfilled all her needs including buying toys, shoe and clothes one of their preferred way of
coping but she preferred listening music than her toys. They suggested that it’s there way of
out of that kind of situations. Hiding themselves in their world is their best choice than any
other coping methods.

46
 CHAPTER FIVE: CONCLUSION AND IMPLICATION

5.1 Conclusion of Major Findings

The purpose of this study was to

1. Discover the psychological consequence of divorce on children.

2. Explore the social consequence of divorce on children.
3. Discover the coping mechanism children’s use.
To achieve the purpose, the following questions were raised:

1. What are the psychological consequences of divorce on children wellbeing?

2. What is the social consequence of divorce on children wellbeing?
3. What are the children’s coping mechanism for their wellbeing problems?

According to the finding of the study it’s concluded that the psychological
consequences of divorce on children were found prevalent. The major psychological
consequences experienced by children includes the feeling of anger, become more
fearful, ashamed by themselves because of what happened in their family, feeling of
forgotten when their parent leave them alone for their custodial parent and also deep
grief was the most negative psychological consequences the children’s face but there
was also a positive psychological consequence, those are, feeling of peace and secure ,
rather live in quarrel home they choose to live a happier life despite of the divorce,
feel responsible, give care for their custodial parents because there is no one left in
home.

The social consequences of divorce on children were also other findings of the study. The
common social consequences of divorce experienced by children were two headed which is
in a positive and negative way. children’s affected negatively by the society negative
attitude about divorce. they are isolated, they are ashamed in front of their friends,
they got mocked. on the other way, the societies attitude towards children’s were
positive and they received a respect, welcoming, and counseling service by the society.

To cope with the psychological and social influences of divorce, children applied different
strategies. Some of the strategies used by those children were spirituality gaining support

47
from the society or their close friends and also use entertainments such as listening
music and playing videogames were the major coping mechanism children’s uses.

Children’s before divorce and after divorce lives are extremely different. For some of them it
followed by freedom because their previous life was not good but for most of children’s it’s a
full of grief and loneliness period of time. They attacked by many psychological and social
traumas in their lives. The study shows that divorce brings a lot of damage on
children’s psychological and social wellbeing and also for some children who were
live in a quarrel house they now gain their peace and freedom because of their
parents’ divorce. divorce is their solution to their sustained wellbeing than live in
quarrel house.

In general, the researcher come to conclusion that divorce is highly related with many
psychological and social problems to children’s. It causes high destruction in children’s
wellbeing. Their psychological wellbeing is highly affected because of their parent’s
divorce but mostly the children’s sorrow is invisible but they are affected too much
by divorce as much as the divorcees do. the social stigma is still exist in the society,
this children’s suffered by the negative attitude of the society about divorce but
majority participants have a good welcoming attitude from their society which is
highly appreciable by the researcher. children’s way of coping way almost effective
for them they use their methods to hide from their unpleasant feeling and they do.

This finding shown that, even though children’s suffer by their parent’s divorce and
the consequence is multidimensional still they didn’t get attention by the concerning
bodies. children’s need affection, guidance, love and care from their family, friends,
and society at all. children’s who passed through this tough time are vulnerable to
different factors in their lives and they will continue to their adulthood stage unless
better care and emphasis is given from government and non-governmental
organizations. therefore, the issues of children’s from divorced parents need to give
high emphasis.

5.2 Implication
Many literatures agree with the term that marriage is the most respected and acceptable social
norm for many societies. It is believed as a big commitment that gives strong relationship
based on love, trust and respect. In contemporary, divorce is becoming one of social issues
that causes a lot of psychological, social and emotional consequences. However, it seems

48
that, in Ethiopia it has never get any attention at the national level and even the so called
concerned bodies wouldn’t do something important to reduce or find solution that mainly
help children’s who suffered a lot by the time of divorce. Even during the time of this study,
it was very difficult to find the respondents because there was no written document on
divorce cases, there was nobody gives care for this children issues.

Divorce and the consequence of divorce is increasing but the job to do in the
concerning bodies like, schools, family organization, religious institution, NGO’s and
others are weakening time after time. The early prevention should start before
marriage to reduce the likelihood of divorce and consequences on children’s. Starting
of family education will enable the society and even the couples about the healthy
relationship and it’s benefit and how children’s will be affected in a broken family.
the target of this education should focus on the consequence of divorce and the
implication of happy marriage effect on children’s wellbeing through counseling
information. The counseling service in post-divorce lives is mandatory to alleviate the
psychological and social impact of divorce on children. it includes provide appropriate
care and support for children’s by creating a good social interaction.

The next part will be the implication part, the researcher here tried to show how this study
is beneficial to those who are concerned on divorce and consequences to children’s
wellbeing.

Based on the findings the following implication are forwarded:

 This study shows that how children’s level of stress is increasing because of
their parents’ divorce. hence, the responsible bodies whom involved in family
organization will help them as an alarm sound to provide access to
psychological support for those children’s and their custodial parent and also post-
divorce counselling will help them strong through the divorce process in emotional,
psychological and social wellbeing.
 This study shows that how divorce affects the children’s over all wellbeing,
usually, children’s hurt in unseen but it’s as equal as divorcees pain. so this
research will be helpful to couples who are on the merge of divorce or
already divorced to know how their decision affect their children’s
psychological and social wellbeing.

49
 This study will help the custodial parent’s how children’s are affecting because
of divorce. and it will show them how to approach their children. and also it
will show them what method children uses to cope up from that kind of
feelings.
 The prevalent of divorce is not given attention by national and regional level.
But this research is now like ice breaker to show how divorce is prevalent
time to time and help them by answer the question ‘how to prevent this social
ill’
 It shows the benefit of teaching and informed the society about the
consequence of divorce and how children’s affected by it.
 This study also found helpful that divorce is an option to be considered in
order to avoid more worse psychological and social consequence; that may
distract children’s if they continue living in the full of quarrel and conflicting
family.
 It also helpful that, society’s attitude towards marriage should be improve.
Children’s are in seeking of support during their hard time, in that time social
exclusion isn’t advisable rather a welcoming and respected society is one way
for children’s to cope up from their hard times.
 The other implication goes to religious institutes. Religious institutes doesn’t
support divorce but many couples divorce this time. The religious institutes
will learn from this study and know their responsibility in preventing the
prevalent of divorce, and help children’s cope up through spiritual methods.
 Religious institutes should help their followers how to handle their marriages
and help them to find their coping mechanism in the house of God than try
to attempt some illegal coping mechanism like attempt to suicide.

 There might be many children’s in every school who are very distressful
because of their parents’ divorce. hence, in the school where the researcher
collect the data, there is no written document about the children’s and there
was no care and support center for those children’s. but this children should
get the necessary attention in the school for a better future. therefore, the
school community should link the consequence of divorce on children’s to

50
 different Governmental and non-governmental organization by drafting some
projects.

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55
 APPENDICES
Informed consent form to participate in the study
Title of the research
Psychological and social Consequences of Divorce on Children’s and Their Coping
Mechanism Used in Gondar City Administration
My name is Daniel Melkie, I am a post graduate student at the Bahir Dar university.
I’m now conducting this research as part of my senior thesis project in social
psychology. The purpose of my study is to investigate the psychological and social
consequence of divorce on children wellbeing and their coping mechanism. My study
consists deep in-depth interview questions that ask about demographic information,
psychological and social consequence of divorce and also your way of coping
mechanism. Please answer the questions in the order they asked. For purpose of this
study, it’s best if you answer all the questions, But if there is a question that feel
uncomfortable, you are not obliged to give a response.

The information you provide during the study is completely confidential and at no
time will your name be associated with the responses you give. If you have any
questions about what you will be doing in the study or about the study itself, feel
free to ask.

In appreciation for your time, I will pay 10 ETB to each participant for attending the
face to face interview.

Participants’ permission:

I, the undersigned person, have voluntarily agreed to participate in this research project. I
have read and understood the Informed Consent and the conditions of this project. I hereby
acknowledge the above and give my voluntary consent for participation in this project by
signing my name on the line below. I understand that I may refuse to participate or stop
participation at any time without any penalty.

Name_____________________________________

56
Signature___________________________________
Date _____________________________________

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57
 Semi structured interview Guides

Part 1 Background information

1) sex
2) age
3) education level
4) whom you are living with
5) when did your parents’ divorce
6) how old were you when your parents’ divorce

Part 2 Psychological consequence of divorce

1) What do you feel at that moment?

2) What do you feel right now?
3) What did you do at that moment?
4) What effect do have on your personality
5) How do u describe yourself before and after your parents’ divorce? Is there
significant change?
6) What is your attitude about marriage and divorce after your parents’ divorce?

Part 3 Social consequence of divorce

1) Did you tell about your parents’ divorce to anyone else?

2) What is the individuals’ response about your parents’ divorce?

Part 4 Coping mechanism

1) What do you do to escape from the stressful events?

2) Is your friends, families help you to cope from your stresses? How?

58
1. የግል መረጃ

1. ፆታ
2. እድሜ
3. የት ት ደረጃ
4. ከማን ጋር ነው የምትኖረው ሪው ?
5. ቤተሰቦችህ ሽ የተፋቱት መቼ ነው ?
6. ቤተሰቦችህ ሽ ሲፋቱ የስንት ዓመት ልጅ ነበርክ ሽ ?

2. ስነ-ልቦናዊ ተፅዕኖ

7. በጊዘው የተሰማህ ሽ ስሜት ምን ነበር ?

8. አሁን ምን ይሰማሀል ሻል ?
9. በጊዜው ምን ነበር ያደረከው ሽው ?
10. ስብዕናህ ሽ ላይ ማንነትህ ሽ ላይ ያመጣው ችግር አለ ?
11. ከቤተሰቦችህ ሽ ፍች በፊትና በኋላ ራስህን ሽን እንዴት ታየዋለህ ሸ?
12. ስለ ትዳርና ፍች ያለህ ሽ አመለካከት ምንድን ነው ?

3.ማህበረዊ ተፅዕኖ

13. ስለ ቤተሰቦችህ ሽ ፍች ለሰው ታዋራለህ ሽ ? ለምን ?

14. ከሰው ያለው ምላሽ ምንድን ነው ?

4. ከችገሩ ለመውጣት የሚጠቀሙበት ዘዴ

15. ከዚህ ጭንቀት ለመውጣት ምን ምን ታደርጋለህ ሽ ?

16. ቤተሰቦችህ ሽ ፣ ጓደኞችህ ሽ ወ.ዘ.ተ. ከዚህ ጭንቀት እድትወጣ ጭ ይረዱሃል ሻል ? እንዴት?

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