How to Top

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/24758230.

Rating: Explicit
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Relationships: Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V, Kim Taehyung | V/Park Jimin, Jeon
Jungkook/Park Jimin
Characters: Jeon Jungkook, Kim Taehyung | V, Kim Seokjin | Jin, Kim Namjoon |
RM, Park Jimin (BTS), Min Yoongi | Suga, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Kim
Yugyeom, Choi San
Additional Tags: Eventual Smut, Slow Burn, Angst and Feels, Hurt/Comfort, Explicit
Sexual Content, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Crack, Alternate
Universe, Switching, Mutual Pining, Implied/Referenced Suicide,
Volleyball Player Jeon Jungkook, Nerd Kim Taehyung | V, Angst, Idiots
in Love, Denial of Feelings, Anal Sex, Self Confidence Issues, Not
Actually Unrequited Love
Language:
🥺💌
English
Collections: Taekook fics I hold dear to my heart , Finished_MightReadAgain
Stats: Published: 2020-06-16 Completed: 2020-07-26 Words: 277,210
Chapters: 38/38
 How to Top
by kthnotfound

Summary

in which the school's resident badboy helps a seemingly unattractive loser win the heart of his
best friend.

it sounds like a good idea at first, however, it's all fun and fake dates until somebody
accidentally falls in love.

Notes

Hey there and welcome to my story! This fic is also available on my wattpad account!

Other places to reach me if you wanna say hi or chat!

my twitter
my instagram

Here is also How to Top's Spotify Playlist in order of the events of the book (:
HTT's Official Playlist
 milk tea & pork broth

♡♡♡

Kim Taehyung was used to being the 'ugly' friend.

Terribly lanky, baggy clothes, hair that didn't ever want to cooperate, and a pair of glasses he
couldn't get rid of unless he wanted to be completely blind. He wasn't really an eye-catcher,
but more of the type to send people sprinting the other direction.

He was the friend that people asked for his other friends' (who were a hundred times better
looking) phone numbers. Taehyung was that one loser people based all their jokes about, and
the guy that never went to parties but stayed home to play videogames until his brain was
fried.

The only thing he was good for was math homework answers and free hallway passes. Not
hookups, or heat in the moment kisses.

People forgot about Taehyung, and when they did happen to remember him, it was always as
the 'ugly' friend. The pathetic guy that followed Kim Seokjin and Jung Hoseok around school
because nobody else would take him into their friend group.

"Park Jimin is so fucking hot it's unfair."

"And I'm so fucking ugly it's unfair," Taehyung sighed, resting his chin on the cusp of his
palm, watching the aforementioned laugh at something one of his friends said.

Usually after school, the student population flooded into the streets of the downtown area
near their high school the second classes were out. The majority of teenagers crammed into
Sunshine Sips, a boba shop owned by the Jungs.

Along with Taehyung and Hoseok, and probably twenty other high school students dying for
milk tea and an aesthetic snap for their instagram story, was Park Jimin and his bunch— aka
the most handsome boy in school and his three other extremely good looking
friends waaay out of Taehyung's league.

The one thing about having looks equivalent to a trash can was the fact that most crushes
were ninety percent of the time always unrequited.

Taehyung happened to have the fattest crush on Jimin, and honestly it was the most stupidest
thing ever considering his chances were next to nothing. Compared to him, Taehyung was
literally the speck of dirt on his thousand-dollar leather Dior boots.
"You're not ugly, Tae, you're just a late bloomer," Seokjin said, reaching over the table to
pinch his best friend's cheek. Taehyung's nose crinkled, the younger swatting him away.

"I'm seventeen, hyung," Taehyung muttered, "and I still look like I'm ten and prepubescent."

"I mean, at least you don't look like that foreign exchange student that's basically a wannabe
Park Jimin," Hoseok sipped his tea. The youngest of the trio glared at him.

"What? I'm just saying. Oli London's wack."

"Both of you aren't helping," He pouted, shoulders caving in as he sadly sipped his drink.
Taehyung averted his attention toward Jimin's table by the window, wishing he was one of
the lucky girls that sat with the popular bunch at their table.

Sometimes the group brought girls to their booth, and honestly, it was difficult for Taehyung
to not compare himself to them. They were too perfect to miss. All of them matched Jimin's
group's level of stunning, flaunting their long legs in trendy figure-hugging dresses and their
perfect skin and perfect hair.

It made sense people like Jimin went for girls like them. Guys like Jimin never went for gay
kids that wore oversized clothes from thrift stores, and only experienced kissing when they
practiced on their fist in fifth grade.

The same went for his friends. All of them look fresh out of a luxury fashion magazine, while
Taehyung came straight out of the dumpster.

"I don't get why you like him," Seokjin said. "Ya'll literally spent three hour shifts together at
the ass crack of dawn in a sketchy convenience store during the summer. Who knows, at that
hour, you could have fallen for a dude named Jimmy."

"Shut up," Taehyung groaned, kicking the older beneath the table. Jin laughed, sounding
equivalent to a leaking faucet. "He was a nice guy, okay?"

"You say that about everyone who loves Harry Styles."

"He really liked his new album. How could I not say he's a good guy? For pete's sake, hyung,
he was a Cherry enthusiast!" Taehyung argued back, angrily sipping his drink. "He has taste."
He grumbled beneath his breath.

"I'm personally a Zayn guy," Hoseok interrupted, earning another death glare from the
youngest of the trio. He held his hands up in defense, leaning back in his seat.

"Fine, I'll admit he has taste," At that, Taehyung sat up in his seat, thinking he won the
argument, but the older held his hand up, "but, I don't want you to get hurt again."

Taehyung deflated. "I'm not stoopid."

"Yes you are. You're very much stoopid, bitch," Jin rolled his eyes. "You barely know the guy
except that he likes an artist universally loved by everyone." Taehyung scoffed, shaking his
head.
"I know more than that," He said, crossing his arms over his chest. "We made a connection."

"Made a connection my ass," Seokjin sighed. "Then why hasn't Jimin tried to talk to you after
summer?"

"Ugh I don't know yet. You're really killing me here," Taehyung groaned. He turned toward
Hoseok, "Can you help me?"

"I'm kinda on Jin's side, Tae," Hoseok shrugged, amusement twinkling in his eyes as he
watched the youngest facepalm. "Jimin's a player, dude. You're like an innocent baby bird
that hasn't left the nest yet, while Jimin's those scary birds that pick babies from the ground
and eats them. No offense."

"What?"

"He's been watching National Geographic lately," Seokjin explained.

"Offense not taken I guess," He said slowly before turning back toward Seokjin. "But m'not
saying I wanna date him though. It's just a crush."

"Bitches be saying it's a crush but want their organs rearranged the next second. You're
bitches."

"Hey," Taehyung frowned, "I never said that."

"We be knew you were thinking it," Hoseok said, immediately grunting when Taehyung
kicked his shin. "Aye! Not the shin splints dude," He wheezed, reaching down to rub his leg.

"Listen to us, Tae. Jimin isn't worth the fuss. I don't wanna see you all mopey when you get
rejected," Jin said, his tone softening for a moment. "He's the type we avoid 'cause he can't
keep his dick in his pants."

"I swear he's a nice guy," Taehyung tried to convince them otherwise, but it was obvious he
was already losing this battle. Before he could open his mouth to plead his case, the door to
the shop slammed open.

"Jeon Jeongguk I'll fucking slice your dick off!"

All three of them craned their heads over to see a boy chasing after Jeon Jeongguk in the
flesh, the other red faced and fuming probably because of the latter's behavior. Everyone
went silent, and a few others held their phones up to film the free drama as the duo stopped in
the center of the store.

"I really like my dick, so I have to deny that kind offer," Jeongguk slid his hands into his jean
pockets, his features oddly calm compared to the other, but nobody could miss the shit-eating
smirk on his lips.

"It's not an offer, it's a threat! You seriously don't know how to keep your fucking dick in
your pants 'cause our relationship didn't keep you from fucking my sister!" The angry boy
screamed, shoving his finger against Jeongguk's chest.
"I fucked her cuz she asked," Jeongguk shrugged, unbothered, which only made the boy turn
a deeper shade of crimson.

"T-That's— god, I hate you, you manwhore!"

Without flinching, Jeongguk's grin widened. "Awh, thanks. But m'sorry. You gotta get more
creative, Lee. I've heard that all before." He cooed, patting the other's head.

"Careful there, sweetheart. You're gonna pop a vein if you don't calm down." He chuckled,
squeezing his shoulder before joining Jimin's side and snatching his drink. Taehyung watched
as he winked at him and casually took a sip like nothing happened.

Taehyung wondered how calm a person could stay calm in this situation, but he supposed it
was only something an asshole Jeon Jeongguk could pull off.

The only reason Taehyung knew about him was the fact Jeon Jeongguk was a frequent issue
in student council meetings, and that Park Jimin was one of his friends.

He was a literal walking hazard to human kind. Sure, he was the star of the volleyball team
and could kill with his spikes, but the guy loved ditching class and engaging in coitus with
people in places that weren't very... hygienic.

Taehyung thought the guy was full of shit. Parading around the school in his cliche leather
jacket and full black ensemble instead of his uniform, thinking he was invincible just 'cause
he was handsome and privileged since his dad was the headmaster.

He didn't understand why a guy like Jimin would befriend him. Jeongguk was arrogant, rude,
and just downright nasty with his sexual history. Taehyung himself wouldn't even dare to
associate with him.

"Jeon Jeongguk!" His ex shouted, gathering the attention in the room once more. Taehyung
hoped it wasn't another screaming match, but much to his own surprise, there was a drink in
his hand.

"Yes—?" Jeongguk didn't even finish his sentence before the cup was crushed over his head,
drenching him in pale brown milk tea.

Everyone gasped, including Taehyung as the guy dumped the rest of the drink on him, even
tossing the broken cup into his lap. Just when he thought it was over, he slapped Jeongguk
right across the face and left without another word.

Taehyung, however, noticed how Jimin lunged for a napkin and was quick to help Jeongguk
clean up the sticky liquid that coated his hair and dripped down his face in streams. Worry
twinkled in Jimin's big, crescent-shaped eyes, and for a moment, Taehyung felt a twinge of
jealousy, wanting nothing to be the one talking to Jimin (minus the milk tea on him).

Although Jeon Jeongguk was a horrible human being, and stupid as it sounded, Taehyung
wished he was like him to some degree.
Not completely (that was gross). But he wondered, what did Jeon Jeongguk have that made
Park Jimin actually notice him?

"That's an L," Hoseok leaned over and whispered to Taehyung, sipping his tea quietly,
snapping him out of his thoughts.

"The asshole deserved it," Jin added, agreeing with him. Taehyung hummed, not really caring
about Jeon Jeongguk except for the fact that a slim part of him really, really wished he had
what he had.

♡♡♡

"This is your twentieth detention this month."

"And?" Jeongguk grumbled, slouching in his seat, legs spread wide as his good ol' father sat
in front of him in his teacher desk, giving him the familiar look of parental disapproval.

"Can I ask why you called me here?" He glanced between his dad and the weird looking kid
standing awkwardly against the wall adjacent to them.

It wasn't unusual for Jeongguk's dad to request his presence in his serious adult office— it
was their son and father thing. Quite unconventional, but nothing beat sitting in your dad's
office, waiting for another wonderful chat about responsibility and the future!

However, it was typically a private endeavor, and Jeongguk honestly had no idea who the kid
was watching them. He never saw him around before, but then again, he sucked ass at
remembering the faces of people he flirted with one second and the next he spent fucking
them into oblivion.

But this guy wasn't one of his hook-ups; he knew that one for sure. Jeongguk didn't really,
well, messed with people that looked like that.

It was hard not to put it in to what his father called 'rude phrasing', but as nicely as he could
word it, the guy wasn't the best in terms of looks.

Who still wore their hair in bowl cuts? It was 2019, not the eighties. Also, this guy had
the worst hair color ever. It was an unappealing muddy brown that somewhat resembled pork
broth, and the way his fringe was cut didn't make it any more attractive.
Jeongguk guessed he was one of his dad's nerds by the way he wore his uniform. It was
wrinkle free, void of any self expression. His tie was straight, and his crimson blazer was
buttoned all the way— oh, and his posture looked like someone shoved a stick up his asshole.

To be honest, he somewhat reminded Jeongguk of one of those catalogue models, except

minus the model-worthy looks.

He ducked his head, hoping pork broth boy didn't catch him staring, or else that would be
quite the embarrassment. He tried to focus his attention on his father, and not the stranger that
was staring holes into the side of his head.

"Do you not recall vandalizing the side of our historic library?" His father asked, already
tired even though barely ten minutes had passed. Jeongguk shook his head, unable to think.

"You wrote 'penis rocks, coochies suck' in red spray paint, and proceeded to draw the
genitalia in detail on the brick."

"Oh yeah," Jeongguk forced out a chuckle, not quite expecting his dad to go into that much of
a detail. He swore pork brother nearly laughed, but the kid was smooth and coughed. "That.
That was a good one."

"No it wasn't. It was vulgar and inappropriate," His dad sighed, pushing his glasses further up
the bridge of his nose. "If you weren't my son, I would have abandoned you with the wild
roosters off campus."

"Roosters are... friendly?" He flashed his signature grin to his father, hoping it would work to
some affect like it usually did on his female teachers and most of his hook-ups.

"Fried chicken, anyone?"

"And you had sex with different genders in multiple storage rooms and empty classrooms. I
saw the condoms son. The condoms."

"Free real estate?"

His dad returned it with a frown, "Son. May I remind you that you also ditched school three
times a week? Showing up to your volleyball practice doesn't excuse your absences during
class hours."

"C'mon, old man. You know how I feel about school," Jeongguk snorted, trying to keep his
voice cool. He stole a glance over at pork broth head, noticing the guy was holding back a
smile and failing.

This brat really has the nerve to mock me, Jeongguk poked the side of his mouth with his
tongue. He made sure the loser knew he was staring at him, and when their gazes met, he
raised an eyebrow at him, challenging him.

Pork broth immediately stiffened, averting his gaze to the ground. At least he knew his place.
"I do, and that's why I'm withholding your college application," His father said, and the
second those words left his mouth, Jeongguk shot up in his seat.

He did not just end my career like that.

"You can't do that to me," Jeongguk's brows furrowed, his hands on either side of him
bunched into fists.

"Yes I can. If you want to pursue your volleyball career, I suggest you pick up your act," His
dad said sternly, folding his hands over his desk. "This is your spot on the Olympic Japanese
volleyball team we're talking about."

"Of course I will! C'mon dad, let's be reasonable men and just talk this out civily," He said,
voice rising unevenly, hoping he sounded convincing. His dad, on the other hand, wasn't at
all impressed.

"We had that chance months ago prior to your senior year," Mr. Jeon replied smoothly,
ignoring the way his son's jaw hung open, ready to argue. "And at this point, I don't trust you,
so I'm putting you in the hands of my student council president."

"Excuse me sir?!" Oh, that wasn't his voice, was it?

"You heard me, Mr. Kim. Your record is spotless and more pristine than any record I've seen
in my years of running this boarding school." Jeongguk shook his head, leaning back in his
seat, shaking his head.

"T-thank you sir, but there's other people like h-his friends. Kim Namjoon's the head of
leadership," Kim said (Jeongguk preferred pork broth), stumbling over his words. Jeongguk
rolled his eyes. Was he really somebody to trust when he could barely talk?

"I know, but I'm afraid they'll be too lenient on my son. My decision is final, therefore you
two are going to work together to rehabilitate Jeongguk's record," Mr. Jeon clapped his hands
together, flashing both teenagers a tight-lipped smile.

"But sir, we have no classes together," Pork broth said. Jeongguk admitted he was a little
shocked he wasn't jumping at the chance to be at his side 24/7. He could name a few who
would kill to be in porky's position, but he guessed this was a bit relieving.

Although, the more he thought about it, it didn't sit well with him. He, Jeon Jeongguk, one of
the most handsome guys in school hanging around someone as below average as Porky
wasn't something he could picture right on the spot.

It was like mixing pineapple with pizza. Cheetos and milk. Salami and grapes. You get the
gist.

Not only was his volleyball career on the line, which he worked hard for mind you, but his
reputation.

This was the end of his life. His dad really was out to ruin his entire existence this time
around.
"Oh yes you do. Jeongguk just never attends classes. He's an intelligent kid, but I'm afraid his
priorities have been... shifted," His father said. Jeongguk rolled his eyes, even mouthing
'wow' at the older man and preceding to slow clap at him.

"And before you leave, because I think Mr. Kim here is a brilliant example of student
behavior, I chose to revoke Jeongguk of his private dorm." Now that made Jeongguk
fucking livid.

"Woah, woah, woah," Jeongguk shot up onto his feet, holding his hands out, stopping his
father from continuing. From the corner of his eye, he noticed Porky covering his face. Glad
we're on the same page.

"That's my space, dad. I worked for that space," He didn't know why he was holding his
hands together, but he was, and at this point, he wouldn't mind getting on his knees and
begging for forgiveness.

"And you will work for it back," His dad said, getting up from his desk. He walked around
until he was standing in front of his son. He reached out and lowered Jeongguk's hands.

"For Mr. Kim, I already arranged you to move into the penthouse room," Mr. Jeon said, his
attention focused on the boy beside them. Jeongguk hung his head, jaw clenching tight.

"How long will this last for sir?" Porky asked, his voice soft as Jeongguk's father was about
to leave the room. Jeongguk squeezed his eyes shut, hoping this living hell wouldn't last
longer than a month—

"Four months, and then you can return to normal when winter break begins," Mr. Jeon said.
At that, Jeongguk's shoulder sagged, a muscle twitching on the curve of his tightened jaw.

"I'll be going now so you two can get acquainted with one another. Tomorrow, I want you
both to work on Jeongguk's student record as soon as possible," and with that, the door
clicked shut, leaving Jeongguk and Porky alone.

"Are you going to say anything?" Jeongguk tilted his head up, the skin between his eyebrows
furrowing realizing that wasn't him who said anything but it was Porky.

"What's there to say?" He scoffed, reaching down to grab his bag and aggressively throwing
it over his shoulder.

"You could at least say something about yourself!" Porky bit back, crossing his arms over his
chest. The younger of the two scowled. This entire thing was bullshit, he wanted to say, but
he guessed Porky would tell his father everything.

"You really wanna know one thing about me?" Jeongguk snapped, kicking the chair on his
way out, somewhat satisfied by the way Porky flinched away from him.

"I don't associate with ugly people," He forced out a smile, making sure to slather his words
with as much bitterness and hatred he could before slamming the door right behind him.
This was going to be a long four months, and Jeongguk was already dreading it.
 life scarring things & feelings

♡♡♡

"He got a penthouse room? The fuck? This is why I hate privileged bitches," Seokjin
grumbled, adjusting his hold beneath one of Taehyung's boxes as the two walked their way to
the other side of the male dorms.

"It's only for four months," Taehyung tried to change the topic seeing that anyone could hear
them right now, but deep down, he couldn't help but agree with him.

After their first meeting, it only worsened the feeling in Taehyung's gut. Sure, he was used to
being called 'ugly' to his face— people were mean, and there was no changing that. But just
because he was used to it doesn't mean it didn't hurt. It stung.

He was a person, and although Jeongguk was one too (somehow), the guy needed a real
lesson on how to show at least some basic human decency.

"So? Just 'coz his daddy is the headmaster doesn't mean he can walk away with these things,"
Jin said.

"Well he doesn't," Taehyung chuckled uneasily. The older glanced at him, raising a
questioning eyebrow.

"You know how Jeongguk plays volleyball, right?"

"Yeah, he's one of those 'irl' Haikyuu guys. He's basically living the dream of any anime
weeb," Jin nodded, brows furrowing.

"His dad threatened to withhold all of his college applications if he didn't become a better
person," He said, spilling the tea. Jin literally gasped.

"Damn, I didn't think Jeon Senior had that in him," He muttered. "Didn't think Jeon would be
a pussy unless you threaten him right."

"Who said I was gonna threaten him?" Taehyung's nose crinkled, his glasses frames falling a
little off the bridge.

"Nobody. You can't even kill a bug without crying to Hoseok to let it live."

"Shut up." The two of them turned a corner into the A-dorms, and right off the bat, Taehyung
knew they were in the better side of the boys' dormitory.

It was bigger and aesthetically pleasing, and much more private. It looked fresh out of those
idealized college catalogues that make the campus look one hundred times better compared to
where Taehyung stayed with Hoseok and Jin.

There was always some sort of weird shit going down in their part of the dormitory. Their
dorms were somewhat crowded, and most of time very loud due to neighbors drinking
alcohol at unrealistic times of the night, or people having a fun time getting freaky in the
sheets (apparently jerking off wasn't enough).

One day there would be someone streaking butt naked for some stupid dare, or another
breezing by on their electric scooter shouting 'zoom' to the top of their lungs. He swore
people in this boarding school were on hardcore drugs at this point.

They were all supposed to be 'smart' and 'proper', but by now, all of that was pretty much
shoved out the window.

"I wonder who else gets these rooms," Jin surveyed the hallway, slight bitterness tinting his
tone. The younger of the duo shrugged and continued down to where Jeongguk's room was.

It was at the end of the hallway. The nearest rooms were a couple feet away, giving the
utmost privacy for every occupant. If there was this much space, the walls had to be sound-
proof, too.

Taehyung gulped, unable to fight the chill prickling at his skin, forcing the hairs on his arms
to stand. He knew nothing about Jeongguk except that he had sex with people like a bunny in
heat.

Who knew what kind of person he was. If Jeongguk was some crazy murderer in disguise,
absolutely nobody would hear a single thing. The nearest help was a good five minute walk
away.

"You good Tae? You look like you saw a ghost," Jin glanced at him, worry evident in his tone
as they finally stopped in front of his door.

"I'm doing dandy," Taehyung croaked, licking his chapped lips. Jin nodded, still eyeing him
skeptically and sat his box on the ground, patting the cardboard one last time before stepping
back.

"This is it. I guess I'll see you in four months," The older chuckled, scratching the side of his
neck. "I can't believe I'm going to be alone with Hoseok and his fucking crazy sock addiction
by myself."

"Hey, it's not that bad," Taehyung frowned a little.

Jin scoffed, "He has pancake socks, Tae, and literally every kind of breakfast food pairs of
'em. Don't get me started on his famous French artist socks he won't shut up about."

"Geez. Fine, but know I'm not disappearing forever," He joked, the laugh that left his lips
sounding a bit more forced than he wanted it to.

Internally, however, he screamed for Jin to not leave him alone, deciding whether or not to
beg the guy to join them just so he could have a witness if Jeongguk went rogue on him. God
knew what would happen the second he left.

Shut up, you dweeb, he inhaled sharply. Jeongguk is not Joe and will certainly not kill you.
You really gotta stop watching that show at night.

But he didn't say anything. He gave Jin an awkward bro-side-hug and waved goodbye at the
older as he retreated back to his room for the evening. Once Jin was out of sight, Taehyung
swallowed thickly, his hand slowly dropping back to his side.

He warily eyed the number plate on the door, teeth chewing on his bottom lip nervously as he
spotted Jeon Jeongguk's initials and his own beneath the number. The key in his pant pocket
suddenly felt like a heavy stone, weighing him down until he sunk into the carpeted flooring.

"You got this," He mumbled to himself, fishing for the keys in his pocket. His hand trembled
as he leveled the end to the lock. It took every bit of his will to unlock that door, and when he
heard that click, he nearly hesitated to peer behind it.

"Frick it," Taehyung sighed and pushed it open with the top of his shoe, preparing himself for
the worst.

It was empty! Jeongguk didn't seem to be there, but the second Taehyung's gaze fell on the
dorm, his jaw immediately dropped. There really was a reason why they called this place a
'penthouse'.

The space was surprisingly homey, themed with green fake plants and whites and dark
browns. It contained a tiny kitchenette combined with a living area that fitted an actual couch
and a tv set. On the side were three doors— two of them which Taehyung guessed were
bedrooms while the other was a small bathroom.

He swore this place could have qualified as some apartment in Seoul. The floors were
wooden, and by the couch was a fluffy white rug. Taehyung shut the door behind him after
kicking his things in, unable to take everything in.

He quickly ran over to his temporary room, making sure to avoid Jeongguk's. It was a bit
cramped, only fitting a single twin bed, closet, and a desk, but it was better than his own
dorm back in the D-section by a long shot.

Taehyung set his things on the bed, stretching as he studied the bare walls in awe. He
supposed he could spend all of his time in here of he smuggled food, the toaster in the
kitchen, and made strategic bathroom breaks to avoid Jeongguk at all costs.

It bummed him out that he didn't have a lock, but maybe he could make a sign and keep
Jeongguk out by force! Good, this was good. Four months in here didn't sound so bad the
more he thought about it.

By making minimal contact with Jeongguk and only talking when it was required, then these
four months would go by fast and he could go back to the safety of his friends!
Taehyung went out to quickly grab the other box before Jeongguk returned. He kicked off his
shoes, not wanting to ruin the cute little rug, and took his time to admire the place. Much to
his surprise, at least the other knew something about hygiene.

He picked up his box, humming a tune to himself. His attention was fixated on the dorm,
appreciating its aesthetics, but just as he was about to reach his door, he collided into
something hard.

The box crashed to the ground with a thud, and Taehyung landed on his bum, but the scream
of agony that pierced through the room wasn't his. Or at least, he didn't think it was.

He patted around the ground to find his glasses that fell off in the collision, his eyes squinting
narrowly as everything was terribly blurred. The exact moment he put them on, he instantly
regretted looking up.

An actual, legit, freaking dick was nearly on his face, and it belonged to nobody other than
Jeon Jeongguk himself.

A high-pitched scream ripped through his throat seeing a penis literally a couple inches away
from his face. Any more movement, he would be touching it.

Taehyung shrieked, immediately covering his eyes. He wanted to cry, the image seared into
his retinas that not even bleach could remove. Why was it so big? And why was it so veiny??
And thick??? Why was it so ugly??

"Jesus christ, can you please shut up?" Jeongguk hissed in pain. Taehyung didn't hear him as
he curled into a ball, rocking back and forth, internally and literally still screaming.

"Bro, you do realize that you have a dick, too!" The other shouted, "and you can open your
eyes. I have a towel on."

"It's so ugly!" Taehyung half sobbed. "Why does it look like that??"

"Fucking hell," Jeongguk grumbled. "Seriously, calm down before someone thinks I'm trying
to kill you."

And with that made Taehyung burst into tears.

It took almost an hour before he uncovered his eyes, but even then he couldn't meet
Jeongguk's eyes without seeing his dick in his mind.

The two of them sat awkwardly on the couch, a huge distance separating the two of them.
Taehyung, who was sure he was traumatized, and Jeongguk, who was holding an icepack
close to his foot. Neither one of them said anything for a while.

"So," Taehyung rested his chin on top of the pillow he was cuddling for dear life. "Are you
going to apologize to me?"

Jeongguk scoffed loudly, "For what? You have a dick you encounter on a daily basis...
Unless." He drifted off, earning a kick to the shin from the older.
As Jeongguk cried out in pain, Taehyung hid the smirk spreading across his lips behind his
pillow. "O-Of course I have one. I'm not a girl, stupid."

"Dude, by the way you act, I beg to differ," Jeongguk muttered, ignoring the death glare
Taehyung sent in his direction. "But hey, you should be the one saying sorry here.
You crushed my foot."

"You bumped into me, smoothbrain."

"You weren't paying attention, idiot."

"Your dick is the most horrific thing I've ever laid my eyes on and should never be shown to
anyone else for the preservation of their sanity."

"What does that have to do with my foot?" Jeongguk snapped. "C'mon, it won't hurt your
perfect little record to say 'sorry' to me. It's simple. Say it with me. 'Jeon Jeongguk, I am
terribly and truly sorry for injuring your foot with my carelessness'."

"I am not saying that," Taehyung pushed his glasses up his nose. "It's just a foot. Get a new
one."

"Get a new one? I thought you were supposed to be smart, four eyes," Jeongguk scowled.

"Four eyes? Is that the best you can do?" The other rolled his eyes. God this guy was full of
it. "Literally nothing you say will affect me, Jeon."

"Whatever. I still demand an apology because my two feet are crucial in volleyball. If I find
out you did something, I'm blaming that shit on you," Jeongguk spat.

"You actual imbecile." Taehyung wondered how the hell this guy was so popular. He literally
shared the same amount of brain cells as a fish. A fish.

"God I hate this. I hate you," Jeongguk stood up, and thankfully he was clothed this time in a
white shirt and gray sweatpants. Taehyung mimicked his voice behind his back, rolling his
eyes at his childishness.

"Were you mocking me?" The other accused, raising an eyebrow at Taehyung. His jaw was
clenched tight, a muscle twitching visibly on the edge of his jawline.

"Get out of my sight," He snarled, flipping Taehyung off before half-limping, half-storming
off to his room like a child throwing a temper tantrum.

Slightly amused, Taehyung sighed. "I can't. I'm stuck with your irresponsible ass for four
months."

"Don't remind me!" Jeongguk shouted over his shoulder and slammed the door behind him.
God, not only was he an idiot, but he was a drama queen.

Taehyung leaned back into the couch, relieved that little encounter was over. To think this
was the start, yet he already saw the worst thing he could possibly set his eyes on. He
shivered, immediately trying to force that image out of his mind.

Of all people, this was a guy Jimin liked and spent time with. It made absolutely no sense,
since the guy he talked to every night at their mediocre, minimum wage paying job was the
sweetest, most big-hearted person he ever met.

And then there was Jeongguk. An apparent fuckboy with an ugly dick. It just didn't connect.
Sweet Park Jimin and Ugly-dicked Jeongguk.

It should have made Taehyung stop and realize this crush wasn't worth it, especially if that
was Jimin's standards, but he just couldn't let go. He liked him, a lot— it was practically
crippling.

Every single crush he ever had teared him to shreds.

However, there better be something good about Jeongguk that made Jimin like him. These
next four months were going to be a struggle, but if Taehyung could at least learn something
to get Jimin to notice him, then maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.

Scratch that. This was going to suck, and Jimin, like the rest of his crushes, would be
unrequited all over again, but a boy could dream, right?

♡♡♡

"You saw his WHAT?!"

"Shut up," Taehyung face blazed bright crimson as he slapped his hand over Hoseok's mouth,
keeping him from screaming to the entire class that he saw Jeon Jeongguk's peepee.

"Did you tell Jin yet?" Hoseok eventually peeled his hand off, thankfully bringing his voice
down to a hushed whisper.

"Nope," He shook his head, his shoulders caving in as a few classmates stares averted to their
desks. "He's gonna go off about my 'virgin' eyes and beat the shit out of him."

"And? Fights are entertaining. Especially the ones were the low quality sound cloud rappers
wants to fight someone for breathing," The red head said in a matter of fact way, which
earned an eye roll from his friend.

"Dude, I'm literally the student council president. I have a reputation to keep up," Taehyung
murmured.
"Oh right," Hoseok hummed. "Gotta be a goody-two shoes and please Headmaster Jeon and
earn all of his approval. I get it."

"I don't do it to 'please' him, stupid," The younger of the duo's lips curved downward. "I do it
because it's my job. Nobody else could maintain order like I do."

"I guess, but you're kinda shit at your job during after school hours," Hoseok reminded him.
"Have you seen the crap kids do in the east bathrooms?"

Taehyung rolled his eyes, smacking his forearm. "It's after school, and no. I don't plan on
running into the stoners vaping in the handicap stall on my freetime."

"Who said they vape," Hoseok snickered, earning a death glare from the younger before the
teacher called class to start. Taehyung turned to face the white board, though he couldn't help
but glance around the room for a familiar face.

Today was technically the start of their agreement, and with all honesty, the only reason
Taehyung was concerned was because Headmaster Jeon ordered him to do this.

Hoseok was somewhat right that he lived to please teachers with his work— especially the
headmaster. But this wasn't about pleasing him. That wasn't that hard if he followed his
requests and continued being a good student.

It was also pretty much about Jimin.

There was something about Jeongguk that was his key to getting Jimin's attention. But if he
refused to cooperate with him at all, he was going to blow his entire chances at getting his
crush to like him back, and the trust of the headmaster.

Taehyung didn't want to be screwed by Jeon Jeongguk at all.

"Looking for Jeon?" Hoseok whispered near his ear, making the boy flinch in his seat.
Taehyung rolled his eyes, trying to play it off like he totally wasn't searching for him (oh he
was).

"No. Since when did you know he was in this class?" Taehyung asked, his brows slightly
furrowing. The older shrugged, crossing his arms on the desk.

"He may not be able to control his dick, but he can surprisingly use his brain," Hoseok said.
"He's in all the advanced placement classes. The kid has all As, but he just doesn't show up."

"How does that even work?" Taehyung scowled. This didn't sound right. Attendance was
practically 90% of doing actual school.

"I dunno. Heard some of his side hoes pick up his work for him from all of his classes and
then they fuck while he does it. Honestly, I think that's a good way to get through calculus
and if I find the time I might try it out myself," Hoseok chuckled. At that, Taehyung smacked
his arm with a bit more force.
"Don't become him, I beg you," Taehyung whispered harshly, trying to focus on the lesson.
God. It was only a day, yet Jeon Jeongguk was already driving him insane.

"I won't," Hoseok laughed, reaching over to ruffle the younger's hair. Taehyung quickly
swatted his hand away, unimpressed.

"Do you think he'll show up?"

The question slipped past his lips before he could even stop himself, but the damage was
already done. Hoseok oohed like an annoying prepubescent middle school student and
suggestively nudged Taehyung's side.

"I think he will," Hoseok said after mercilessly teasing the younger until his cheeks were the
same color as his hair. "I mean, Namjoon and Yoongi are in here."

Taehyung glanced over Hoseok's shoulder, catching a glimpse of Jeongguk's other two best
friends. Kim Namjoon was responsible for gathering up school spirit, coordinating every
dance and rally. Not only did he plan amazing events that were the talk of the campus, he was
Taehyung's rival for valedictorian.

Min Yoongi, on the otherhand, was the quietest in the group and intimidated the most people.
All Taehyung knew he was a gifted pianist, and on his free time, he played water polo. Other
than that, Min Yoongi didn't appreciate attention and stayed low.

They were an interesting bunch. Taehyung used to dislike them to some degree, since they all
kept to themselves and acted all like they were the shit until he met Jimin.

The boy always told stories about them with the biggest, brightest stars in his eyes. Taehyung
found himself in those early hours admiring them, thinking they were the reason he never fell
asleep.

He learned things like how Namjoon and Yoongi were eating cookies that tasted like they
were freezer burnt, but in reality it was the peanut butter in them that riled up Yoongi's severe
nut allergy and sent him to the hospital (they all had a big laugh about it when the swelling
went away).

There was also the time they were all drunk off their asses and got this special marker. They
drew a whole bunch of shit and dicks on Namjoon's feet, and the next morning they couldn't
wash off.

It was then did they realize, horribly hungover and freaked out, that they tattooed Namjoon's
feet.

To think they were actually decent people beneath their cocky exteriors— Taehyung didn't
expect that. He didn't like fake people, but the way Jimin painted them in his stories, they all
seemed genuine.

All except Jeon Jeongguk. No matter how many nice things somebody said about him,
Taehyung needed actual proof because at this point, his dick wasn't doing him any good.
Throughout the period, Taehyung checked the door, wondering if Jeongguk would come to
class. But as time ticked away, he realized it was useless. His own friends didn't seem as
concerned as he was, so he stopped, knowing he probably looked like an idiot.

When the bell finally rung, Jeon Jeongguk still didn't show up.

"Talk to him about it later tonight," Hoseok told him as they walked back to Taehyung's dorm
for lunch.

"Tell him to take it seriously, or else you'll pop all of his volleyballs. Kid's a slut for the
game."

"That doesn't sound too bad," Taehyung hummed, clutching his binders close to his chest. "I
haven't been into his room, though."

"Goodness Tae, you saw his dick and now you're picturing what his room looks like? Are you
really the Kim Taehyung I know?" Hoseok teased. The younger shot him death glares,
scowling when he playfully elbowed his side.

"I'm not thinking dirty. Ugh, gross," He grumbled, pushing Hoseok back with his arm. "I'd
never lose my virginity to a guy like him," He mumbled quietly, his face practically in flames
saying the cursed word.

"Oh right. You're saving it for the 'one' aren't you?" Hoseok chuckled. Taehyung shrugged,
hoping this conversation would end soon, but knowing him, when it came to sex Hoseok
wouldn't shut up.

"I guess," He scratched the side of his neck, the room feeling hotter than it was supposed to
be. "Never in a thousand years would he be the 'one' in my life."

"Sure. You say that now, but next thing you know, you're his slut in his secret sex dungeon~!"

"Please shut up!" Taehyung groaned, ready to throw his books at the older. Hoseok laughed,
clutching his tummy tight as Taehyung purposely sped up, not wanting to be seen next to
him.

Hoseok jogged to catch up to him as Taehyung was trying to steady his damn breath.
Sometimes he wished he was more fit, but at this point in his life, that was basically
impossible.

He approached his door, hoping Jeongguk wouldn't be there, but the more he thought about
it, the guy wasn't a loser and probably didn't spend his lunch periods eating in his room. He
doubted Jeongguk was at his level of dweeb-ness.

"Is your Jeonggukie home?" Hoseok leaned against the wall, watching Taehyung fumble for
the key on his lanyard. The younger scowled at him, only to be met with another laugh.

"He's not my 'Jeonggukie,'" Taehyung mumbled underneath his breath, shoving the right key
into the door. "And I'll never date someone like him."
"But you wish you were like him. If you want my honesty, I wish I could bag bitches at the
same rate he could," The older hummed, but before Taehyung could criticize him, his smile
dropped from his face.

"What?" Taehyung asked. Hoseok stood up, holding a single finger up as his brows furrowed.

"You hear that?" The other shook his head. "That squelching noise? There! There it is again.
It's like clapping? I dunno who would be doing that..."

"I'm concerned about you, hyung," Taehyung said, the frown he wore deepening when
Hoseok's entire expression paled. "What? C'mon, I'm hungry."

"Tae, I think we should go—," The words left Hoseok's mouth a too late by the time
Taehyung swung the door wide open.

And for the second time that week, Taehyung wanted to die because in the living room was
Jeon Jeongguk's bare body, full on thrusting into a random girl spread out and moaning on
the couch.

"—Somewhere else. Oh shit," Hoseok whispered, standing behind Taehyung who dropped
his things on the ground. Jeongguk and the girl had stopped, and the look on the boy's sweaty,
rose-colored face was indescribable when he noticed them by the door.

"Do you think it's too late to go the cafeteria?" Hoseok chuckled uneasily. Taehyung just
screamed.
 ugly pajamas & ugly people

♡♡♡

"We need rules," Taehyung said, slamming a blank piece of note paper on the dining table
right in front of Jeongguk, who was munching on a sandwich.

"Rules? This is my place," Jeongguk scoffed, stuffing his face with more of that hideous,
peanut butter and purple jellied thing he was eating.

"And it's my place now as well!" The older forced his lips into a smile as he shoved a pen in
Jeongguk's face, dropping it on top of his paper plate. "So we need rules because there's two
of us!"

"No we don't. You do you, and I do me," Jeongguk said. "Mind your business, and I mind my
own."

"Jeongguk, you see, I don't wanna live like free range chickens," Taehyung gritted his teeth
together, the smile he wore lowkey freaking out the younger.

"Free range chickens? What do you mean?" He waved his half sandwich in front of
Taehyung, subtly eyeing the boy up and down.

"You. You're the freaking chicken eating whatever he wants and doing whatever he wants
without caring what the other chickens say!"

"Can you put that into human terms 'coz I'm not a chicken, bro. I'm a teenager with raging
hormones, for your own info buddy," Jeongguk said, plopping the lump of bread back into his
mouth, chewing exaggeratingly just to spite the older.

"God you're terrible," Taehyung pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose, his glasses
rising higher up his face. "How can I say this?"

"I'm waiting on you, specs," The younger said with his mouth full, which mind you, was
nasty. "Use your brain folds."

"Oh my god you just have to control your dick," He blurted out, watching as Jeongguk
almost choked on his food. "If we are going to work together, you have to respect me so I can
respect you."

"So you're saying I can't have sex? That's a big suggestion coming from a guy like you," His
brows furrowed, and at least this time he was covering his mouth with his palm.
"N-no! I mean, YES— kinda? Well I just don't want to walk into y'know that again. And a
guy like me?"

"That was one time. I swear I would have angled in a way where it wouldn't have fallen in
your line of vision if you told me you were coming!"

"Angled? Dude sex and math are different, you goon!" Taehyung wanted to punch this guy in
the face. "And you didn't answer me. I'll literally give you a detention for bullying."

"Oh my god so scary. Detention sucks," Jeongguk raised his hands up, sarcasm dripping off
his words.

"Y'know what It's a small request. We make rules and follow 'em so we can finish these four
months without killing one another," Taehyung inhaled sharply, trying to get a hold of
himself.

Jeon Jeongguk really was an infuriating, egotistical, volleyball-playing, sex addict, brat.

"What's in it for me?" Jeongguk asked, finishing off the rest of his sandwich. Taehyung tried
not to stare at the way he got extra jam on fingers, finding it incredibly weird watching
Jeongguk suck on his index finger.

He averted his gaze back to the paper, not wanting to have that image in his head. "We can
divide the days we get this place all to ourselves. You can have your days of... intercouse, and
I'll spend my days not having to worry to see anyone's bits and bobs!"

"Oh you don't have to worry about seeing them for a while, specs," The younger chuckled,
grabbing the pen, which Taehyung immediately snatched back, his eyebrows scrunched
together.

"Excuse me?" Taehyung asked, holding the pen in mid air. Jeongguk shrugged, crossing his
arms over the table, tilting his head up and giving him one of those shit-eating grins.

"Nobody would fuck a guy wearing pink and yellow pajamas with Ryan Bears on them."

"Unbelievable. Are you hating on my pajamas now?"

"It was actually your hair first. Kinda reminded me of pork broth, but sure, let's say that,"
Jeongguk grinned. Taehyung's jaw hung open, and before he could say anything, the younger
reached forward and pushed his jaw up, closing it.

"Careful. Don't want you to swallow anything that could make you choke," He mused,
propping his elbow up on the table, resting his chin on his palm.

"Was that a sexual innuendo...?" Taehyung asked, horrified. Jeongguk winked, making the
urge to vomit seem much more plausible in Taehyung's mind. He rolled his eyes and started
to write.

"Alright before I proceed to barf my entire breakfast on you, this is our list of rules," He
pushed the paper closer so Jeongguk could get a good look at it. It was nothing to look at yet,
but there were three sections: the universal rules and each their respective sides.

"Can we name it something cool? Y'know, like give it something catchy code name?"
Jeongguk hummed, tracing the margin with the tip of his finger.

"I mean, that doesn't sound too bad," Taehyung shrugged, tapping the pen against the paper.
"What should we call it then, Mr. Jeon?"

"'Help Me For I am Being Held Captive by a Loser.'"

"T-That's—? God, I hate you," Taehyung muttered, his grip around pen tightening. "Can we
please put aside our differences and just do this."

"Alright, geez. You do you," Jeongguk shrugged. "I was just trying to have fun." He rolled
his eyes and muttered, "Not like you know what that means."

"Okay rule number one, no sex!" He ignored the younger happily, scribbling down the first
rule in his perfect penmanship. "No sex when we're in the same place. Absolutely no naked
bodies or absurd sounds, please and thank you."

"What's number two going to be? Wear conservative clothing at all times?" The younger
rolled his eyes. "No shorts five inches away from your knees, or spaghetti straps. God forbid
the spaghetti straps!"

"Number two was going to be no entering each other's rooms without permission, but okay."

"That's a good one, I guess. That was a compliment toward the list, not you."

"I got that," Taehyung snapped. "Rule number three. No having people over that aren't our
friends. Again, this supports our first rule! I don't want to see any girls here."

"I'm bisexual, idiot. I don't just like girls," Jeongguk said, earning a death glare from
Taehyung. "What? Don't tell me you're homophobic."

"I'm not," He swallowed, finishing off the third rule. "I have two gay dads back home."

"Then why aren't you looking at me?" Because then I realize you have a bigger chance with
Jimin than I do.

"Because you're an ugly person," He flashed a fake-ass smile at him before creating two
columns, writing their names at the top of them.

"Takes one to know one, specs," Jeongguk mumbled beneath his breath, flinching when
Taehyung weakly punched his shoulder. "Ow. That hurted," He said monotonously, mocking
him.

"Alright on to our personal rules. These ones you actually have a valid opinion on!"
Taehyung sing-songed, sliding the paper to Jeongguk. He held the pen out to him with a
tight-lipped smile, the edges of his lips faltering when he snatched the pen from him.
"Okay, for you, specs, we have rule one. Mind your own fucking business," Jeongguk
declared. "Just 'coz my dad asked you to help me, doesn't mean you get to be my friend. We
have boundaries."

"I'm fine with that," Taehyung shrugged, pulling out the chair beside him and sitting down. "I
don't want to be friends with a sex-magnet anyways."

"Rule two," The younger grumbled, ignoring the smug smirk on Taehyung's face. "I get the
dorm to myself every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. In that time, I get to do whatever I
want without you judging me."

"Oh I'm judging you right now, Jeon," He shook his head, chuckling bitterly. "But fine. Go do
what you do. I'll take the others day happily!"

"Then here comes rule three," Jeongguk continued, side-eyeing the older, a frown twitching
on his lips. "No falling for me. I know I'm very, very attractive, and losers like you think you
can get a chance, but I'm sorry. I shall crush your spirits now rather than later. You're not my
type."

"What a gentleman you are," Taehyung rolled his eyes. "You aren't my type either." He said,
stomach fluttering a little when he thought of Park Jimin.

Sweet, compassionate Park Jimin with the cutest of smiles and the most bubbly laughter
Taehyung ever heard. Jeon Jeongguk was nowhere as gentle and kind as Jimin was, or even
had the same amount of heart that he did.

Taehyung wondered if Jeongguk was anyone's type to be fair because he certainly didn't see
himself falling for him.

"Good. Now that's settled, it's your turn!" He swiped the materials from Jeongguk, fingers
brushing against one another's ever so slightly. His nose crinkled at the contact, and he made
sure to scoot away from him.

"Rule one. Don't cross your boundaries with me like ever. Rule two, you have to come to
every class we have together. And finally, rule three: you have to do volunteer work with me
every weekend!" Taehyung said smugly, watching as Jeongguk shot up from his seat.

"Volunteer work? Tae, it's the weekend," Jeongguk sputtered, his hands splayed over the
table. The older raised an eyebrow at him.

"So? You need to get a better record. I'm doing my job, Jeongguk," Taehyung scowled.
"Unlike you, I'm responsible. You need me to get on that volleyball team, and your dream
college or whatever."

"Don't put it like that," He sat back down on his seat, arms crossed over his chest. His mouth
crammed into a small pout, the younger looking like a defeated little kid that was told he
couldn't go outside.
"I think we can agree this is fair," The older said, supposing that this was a victory when
Jeongguk didn't even attempt to create some counterattack to get back at him. He scribbled
his signature on a line, making another one for Jeongguk.

"I hate this. I hate you," Jeongguk spat, snatching the pen from him roughly, rolling his eyes
when his gaze fell on Taehyung's smirk. He signed in the spot next to Taehyung's name,
grumbling curses.

"There. Four months won't be so bad," Taehyung chuckled, watching as Jeongguk slammed
the pen on the table and immediately stood up.

"I'm going to practice," He didn't even bother to give him one last glance as he disappeared
into his room. Taehyung rolled his eyes, returning his attention back to their little argeement.

The first thing that came to mind was that Jeongguk had crappy handwriting. His penmanship
was like he was on the verge of taking a shit and scribbled something down, hoping it looked
like words. Maybe even wrote it with his left for some added pizazz.

But before he could move on and frame this thing, he noticed a message scrawled at the
bottom right beneath Jeongguk's equally shitty signature.

You're pajamas are ugly. Fantastic. He didn't even know how to use basic grammar either.

♡♡♡

"Another full crowd today," Jimin patted Jeongguk's back as the two exited the lockerroom to
the main gym, ready to practice for the day. "Most of them are here for you, bro."

"I don't understand why coach allows them here. They're a distraction," He brought his
waterbottle up to his lips and took a sip, wincing when the crowd of screaming girls in the
balcony level chanted his name.

"Oh c'mon Gguk, you have a fan chant. Be a bit more appreciative, y'know," The blonde
giggled, squeezing his shoulder before jogging ahead and calling for a volleyball. Jeongguk,
on the otherhand, rolled his eyes.

He fucking adored volleyball. To put it in lighter terms, he boarderline worshipped the sport
after playing it for years. Everything about it from the thrill of breaking past a defensive wall
and sealing the kill, and the endless rallies that always left him on a thrill from the adrenaline
rush.
Jeongguk took the game seriously— volleyball was the key to his future. He was the team
ace, and when he could, he played on a spot in the junior national team for South Korea.
Colleges wanted him. Oversea teams kept their close eye on him. The Olympics were
literally calling his name.

And he worked so hard just for his father to hold him back. Well, it was partially his fault, but
the guy didn't have to do him dirty like that.

He could have settled with a month of detention, not an irritating, big-mouthed loser that was
going to be his roommate for four months. The idiot even made him commit time to
volunteer work when he could be practicing his jump serves!

Jeongguk jogged out onto a court, managing to pick up a volleyball that rolled his way. He
surveyed the spectators, unable to remember any familiar face in the sea of students watching
them intently.

Most people were here for him to see him hit some cool spikes. Others were there for Park
Jimin, their talented setter, but instead of watching him play, they eyed his ass.

Let's just say Jimin left little to no imagination when he chose his bottoms. The guy wore the
smallest of black short shorts, the material straining around his thighs and giving viewers a
perfect angle of his ass. Jeongguk didn't get why Jimin preferred it that way, but he supposed
it was personal preference.

"Stop staring, idiots," Jeongguk grunted, smacking the back of Choi San and Kim Yugyeom's
heads as he passed by. "You're here to serve. Save the eye fucking and girlfriend searching
for parties."

"Hello to you too~ Captain. We were just talking about how cute you were walking in today
with Parky over there," Yugyeom smirked, pushing Jeongguk back, making sure to ruffle the
older's hair.

Jeongguk swatted his hand away, "I will literally spike this ball into your skull." Though he
didn't really mean that, the smile playing on his lips giving him away.

"I'd pay to see that," San said, immediately ducking when Yugyeom pretended to throw the
volleyball at his head. Jeongguk, on the otherhand, rolled his eyes and continued to serve
over the net at a speed amateurs feared.

San was the team's libero, a position that designated him as the team's defensive specialist.
Liberos only played backrow, being responsible for most of their crazy saves. Sans did
everything he could to save the ball even if it meant diving into chairs or people.

Yugyeom was one of the middle blockers, along with the freshman, Choi Soobin. He was one
of the top tier defenders, and occasionally would he become a middle hitter during games
when Jimin couldn't set to Jeongguk.

"Soo, is there still anything going on with our lovely Parkingson over there?" Yugyeom
asked, bouncing the ball against the gym floorings as Jeongguk caught a ball from another
teammate.

"No. There wasn't and will never be anything between us," Jeongguk said, ignoring the way
San and Yugyeom exchanged skepticall looks.

"Dude he likes you. It makes sense. You, a partial twink, and him, a fourth of a twink, will
make a perfect couple," San reasoned, watching as Jeongguk served over the net with a little
more force, the ball nearly nailing a spiker standing in the hitting line.

"I don't get why you guys won't talk about that," Yugyeom handed Jeongguk another ball,
snorting a little at the death glare the older sent him.

"There's nothing to talk about," Jeongguk mumbled, making fleeting eyecontact with Jimin as
he lazily jogged over to grab a loose ball from the ground. The setter wiggled his fingers at
him before returning his attention back to the ball tossed at him.

"Well, I don't think getting shitfaced at a party and being dared to—," The oldest of the trio
reached forward, clamping his hand over San's mouth. The younger silently begged Yugyeom
to save him, but the guy simply shrugged, enjoying his suffering.

"Don't talk about that. That never happened. I'm gonna tell you to start hitting now, and you
better listen," Jeongguk snapped, removing his hand. San nodded quickly, saluting the captain
before running off in Jimin's direction.

Leaving Yugyeom and Jeongguk behind, the younger of the two let out a sigh. "It's obvious,
Gguk, that Parker likes you. You guys are best pals, so adding the kissing and boyfriend shit
wouldn't be different."

"No," Jeongguk shook his head, grimacing at that idea as he took a quick scan of the crowd
cheering Jimin on. Their faces usually blended into a blur of different people, but something
was odd.

Something, or well, someone caught his attention. He stopped, the ball spinning in his tight
grip as he squinted, focusing his gaze on the many faces. But before he could find the face he
was looking for, Yugyeom nudged his shoulder.

"I don't get you at all, dude. Anyone can feel your chemistry from a distance. I say go for it,
but you keep telling me 'no' without explaining shit," Yugyeom crossed his arms over his
chest.

"Because there's nothing to explain! We're friends, Gyeom. Just friends," Jeongguk stressed,
wanting nothing more but to focus on hitting the ball until the skin on his palm became a raw,
angry red from slamming the volleyball too roughly.

"Sure. Friends that did something friends don't usually do," He sighed, watching Jeongguk
send another ball flying across the court. "Oh, look. An idiot dropped something from the
spectator level."
"Again?" Jeongguk stretched his arm over his chest, trying to loosen the muscles in his
hitting arm. The change of topic eased the knot tangling itself in his throat, thankful that
Yugyeom wasn't pushing it.

"Yeah. Dropped a whole ass phone. Bet that thing's broken," Yugyeom shrugged, spinning
the ball in his palm as he readied his stance to serve. "Saw the poor guy run out of the stands
to grab it."

They said nothing as they continued to practice their serves. Jeongguk finally appreciated the
silence, and the lack of questions bothering him about the Jimin situation he didn't want to
address anytime soon.

He channeled as of his frustration on the ball like he usually did, steadying his arm out in
front of him. He inhaled sharply, narrowed gaze settling on a space of the court where no
other players stood. He clenched his jaw, tossing the ball high up in the air and ran after it
before calculating his jump, arms flying behind him the second he rose into the air, nearly
airborne.

Arm reeled back at a bend, the edge of his thumb brushing against his cheek, Jeongguk's gaze
never left the ball once as he hand came forward. It was the moment his palm collided with
the top of the ball, body snapping into his form as he striked it across the court, power
surging through his palm, sending it charging forward.

He landed back on the ground, breathless as his ball landed exactly where it needed to go.
Around him, as his heartbeat raged in his ears, the stands were screaming his name to the top
of their lungs.

"Try hard," Yugyeom flicked the back of his head when another ball is thrown in Jeongguk's
direction. He caught it, flinching when Yugyeom pinched his ear.

Jeongguk noticed Jimin was staring at him, and when their gazes met, the older gave him a
thumbs-up. He flashed him a sheepish grin, though the edges of his lips struggled to hold.
Jimin tucked his hair behind his ear, giving Jeongguk a cute little finger heart.

He told himself that summer didn't complicate anything between them, but he knew it was a
lie.

Things happened that summer, which Jeongguk wasn't proud of. Certain things that involved
Jimin, and with all honesty, a couple of kisses that really shouldn't have happened.

But before he could go back to serving, a ball is suddenly flying in the same direction as
Jimin. The setter wasn't fast enough to protect himself, and before he could steady his fall,
another player blocking a hit crashed right into him.

The entire gym went silent.

Jeongguk was already jogging over to the scene with Yugyeom by his side, the two not
exhanging a single word, knowing they had to check on him.
Jimin was on the ground, his back facing up as he buried his head in his arms. The team
circled around him, shouting orders over one another considering the fact their coach wasn't
there. Others suggested to call an ambulance, but another member, Hyojong, told BamBam to
calm down.

When Jeongguk approached the circle, Jimin was still in the ground, but there was somebody
else crouching by his side, whispering incoherently to the blonde.

It didn't take Jeongguk very long to realize who it was by the hideous haircolor. Why was
Porky here?

"Everyone get out of the way," Jeongguk barked, his orders immediately being followed by
every member except Porky. He scoffed, not wanting to deal with the loser, but of course,
Porky never listened.

"That means you too," He snarled, roughly pushing Porky aside. The boy in his stupid, ugly
framed glasses raised his eyebrows at him, watching as Jeongguk knelt by Jimin's side.

"Can you get up, Chim?" Jeongguk lowered his tone, softening his voice just for his
bestfriend. The older nodded and rolled onto his back with the help of Porky, which Jeongguk
didn't appreciate.

"I-I'm sorry," Porky said much to Jeongguk's visible annoyance. "Someone called for the ball,
and I thought I could serve? It looked easy, s-so I just thought."

"Fucking shut up already," Jeongguk snapped, his hand settling on Jimin's shoulder as he
helped him up. "You're not even allowed to be here."

"I said I was sorry, Jeon."

"Fuck that. You aren't on the team, therefore you can't touch the equipment or even be on this
floor. You're not meant for this sport, loser."

"But—," The other said, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, the tanned skin
between his brows wrinkled.

"No. I'm not fighting you right now, Porky," He spat, ignoring the looks his teammates were
giving one another. He averted his attention back to Jimin, blocking out everyone in the room
except him.

"M'okay. I-I just need some ice," Jimin murmured, holding his head in his hands. "I'm okay,
Ggukie. Don't worry about me." Jeongguk didn't understand why Porky stiffened beside him.

"You need a concussion test," He said softly, rubbing his hand up and down Jimin's back, but
for some reason, he couldn't seem to block out the way Porky was staring at the two of them.

He turned his head toward the boy, ready to shit talk him about minding his own business.
However, he noticed that Porky wasn't staring at him— his gaze was focused solely on Jimin,
worry twinkling in his eyes behind those hideous frames.
Weird. He never looked at him like that.

"I can take you, hyung," Porky said, his hand gently wrapping around Jimin's forearm. "It's
my fault you got hurt. I can bring you to the nurse."

"I can do it," Jeongguk cut in, unsure why he did, but Porky wasn't listening to him. He was
staring at Jimin like he was the only thing that mattered.

"N-No it's fine. You need to run practice," Jimin squeezes Jeongguk's wrist. "I can go with
Tae."

Since when were they on nickname basis? Jeongguk simply nodded, unable to come up with a
single word. He licked his lips, watching as Porky helped Jimin get to his feet, and slowly the
two of them headed for the exit.

Jeongguk noticed the way Porky was a flustered mess around Jimin; it was obvious in the
way his cheeks flushed a vibrant rose pink, and the way he stumbled over his usually fluid
pronunciation. Porky was careful helping Jimin, treating him with this kindness Jeongguk
thought he was incapable of.

"What are you all staring at? Get back to practice," Jeongguk snapped out of his thoughts,
realizing nobody wasn't moving.

"C'mon. Get moving." He shouted, clearing his throat as he watched the members return to
their stations. Jeongguk sighed, hands on his hips as he glanced back at the exit, something
inside of him dropping when the pair were gone.

That was horribly weird, but it didn't take long for Jeongguk to connect the dots. The tomato-
colored face of Porky that made him look like roastbeef, him stumbling over his words, and
all around acting like a shy mess.

Oh my god. Did Porky like his best friend?

 ugly crushes & pretty deals

♡♡♡

To say Taehyung was freaking out was a whole understatement: he was shitting his pants.

Literally— he was on the verge of convulsing since his stupid heart wouldn't shut up. At this
rate, it was about to fall out of his chest and onto the floor, and he wasn't so sure what would
be worse: Jimin finding out that he likes him, or the fact his organ was on the ground.

He slid his trembling palms together, wincing at the sweat that slicked his skin. Jimin didn't
seem to notice, which was great. This was great— the silence, the sync of their footsteps. It
was safe, and Taehyung had all the time to figure out what to say.

Should he say hey? Maybe ask about his love for volleyball? No, that wouldn't work;
everybody knew Jimin loved volleyball. Was he close enough with him to ask about his day?
Well, not necessarily, but it wouldn't hurt.

"I'm sorry I served the ball at your face." Frick, that wasn't the plan.

Taehyung wanted to strangle himself the second those words left his lips. Even better—
throw his body out a window and disappear. He winced internally, cringing at his choice of
words and hoped Jimin wouldn't think he was a bigger loser than he already was.

Honestly, scratch that. There was a 100% chance he looked like the biggest loser no matter
what while he stood next to the Park Jimin.

Unlike Jimin, who glowed effortlessly, and whose blonde hair reminded him of wisps of spun
gold, and wore outfits that accentuated his curves. Taehyung, on the other hand, lacked the
clear skin, the perfect twenty-twenty vision, the smirk that radiated pure confidence, and
expensive clothes that didn't hang off his body like a pillowcase.

Next to him, he was nothing. He didn't deserve to be standing next to someone as pretty and
perfect as Jimin, yet every part of him wanted to be there with his crush. Get the chance he
would probably never have again.

God, he hated this. Hated the anxiety picking away at him, the insecurities piling up in the
back of his mind that he struggled to hold back. If only he was beautiful, then maybe he
would get a stronger shot at getting Park Jimin to really notice him.

But even that was wishful thinking.

"It's all good," Jimin chuckled, snapping him out of his trance, voice awfully sweet to
Taehyung's ears. "It happens when you're a beginner."
"I-I swear, I w-wouldn't have targeted your face," Taehyung stuttered, stumbling over his
words. God, he was making a huge fool of himself.

"Don't worry about it Tae. It's probably nothing serious. Ggukie likes to overreact!" He said,
looking up at him with the most beautiful of smiles that had his heart doing flips in his chest.

However, Taehyung couldn't ignore the way his stomach plummeted hearing the way Jimin
said Jeongguk's name. Sure, they were friends, but there was no denying Jeongguk had a
greater chance. It was foolish, really, thinking like this. They were friends, best friends, but
who knew— anything was possible.

"S-so," Taehyung gulped, words trembling on his tongue as he tried to get a grip of himself.
"D-Did you enjoy y-your summer?" He asked, cupping the side of his neck.

"I did. Did a lot of volleyball clinics, hung out with my friends, partied a bit, met new people.
You know, that," He giggled. Taehyung nodded along like he totally did the same thing
(nope). "Did you enjoy your summer?"

"Yeah. I guess." He hoped the older remembered their time together at the convenience store,
and he tried not to let the disappointment consume him when Jimin didn't mention anything
about it.

Didn't he enjoy the time they spent together, too? He remembered on the last shift before he
disappeared, Jimin told him that he was the easiest person to talk to, yet here he was, acting
like Taehyung was a mere stranger. It could have been a coincidence, and the guy was just hit
in the head by a volleyball.

Overthinking really sucked butt.

"What did you do?" Jimin asked, swinging his arms as he walked. Taehyung gulped, knowing
if he said what he did, the older would completely lose interest in him.

People like Jimin didn't enjoy playing games with online friends, binging webtoons, or
watching anime until their eyes burned for the entire summer. They liked drinking and sexual
games, partying, and chasing thrills Taehyung that wasn't quite his forte. He preferred his
comfort zone rather than risking it all just for a temporary thrill.

"I partied," He cleared his throat, sliding his sweaty palms into his hoodie pocket, unable to
meet Jimin's eye. "Drank beer with buds y'know. Went to a couple bonfires and... partied
some more."

"Really? Didn't think our student council president would have that side to him." Was
he flirting? He didn't know, he sucked at seeing signs, but his stomach fluttered anyways and
his neck stung and was already stained with the tell-tale hue of pink.

"Uh y-yeah, right. I guess?" He chuckled uneasily, catching a glimpse of one of Jimin's pretty
grins from the corner of his eye. Taehyung didn't know why he was still lying, but Jimin
seemed to like it.
"Cool," Jimin hummed. "You should come to one of our parties after our games. You'd love
them 'cause Namjoonie-hyung plans them."

"Yeah, of course. Yay, I just love some partying and underaged drinking," Taehyung tried to
sound at least a little enthusiastic, but it nearly sounded like a cry of pain. Jimin, on the
otherhand, didn't seem to notice.

"Mm. Alright, this is my stop!" The two of them stopped in front of the elevator, which
clearly wasn't the nurse's office. Jimin turned to face him, his big, doll eyes staring up at
Taehyung, who couldn't meet his gaze without having a heart attack right then and there.

Taehyung raised an eyebrow, barely glancing over at the other, fringe brushing over his eyes.
"This isn't the nurse's place."

"I know," Jimin grinned, "I'll be okay. You didn't hurt me at all, and I promise to get a bag of
ice on the way. Don't tell Jeongguk, alright? He'll worry about me a lot." I'm worrying about
you, too.

"O-okay take—," Before Taehyung could say goodbye, Jimin was already boarding the
elevator without looking back.

Once the double doors shut, stranding him alone in the corridor, Taehyung lowered his hand
back into his pocket, neck inflamed as he tried to ignore the embarrassment that chewed
away at his thoughts. At least he didn't make a bigger fool of himself.

And it wasn't that bad, he guessed, but even then, no matter how much he tried to console
himself, this heaviness layered thick in his chest and he wasn't so sure why.

♡♡♡

"That's him? You sure that's our student council president?" Namjoon's mouth hung open
after the youngest pointed out his roommate in the cafeteria.

The group decided to eat there for once despite it being a weekend. It was Sunday, which
Jeongguk refused to give them intel on any of his rules that he made with Porky, and there
was no way he would tell them he was bullied into making them. It was sadly Porky's day, so
he guessed he respected it and came here to waste time.

But Porky was here; he noticed him before anything else. It was hard to miss Porky, and he
supposed it was the fact that Porky wasn't quite the eye-pleaser. Nothing else.

"Correct, sir. That is indeed, him— my roommate," Jeongguk said, begrudgingly stabbing his
salad with his plastic spork as he followed Namjoon's gaze to where Porky sat with two other
pretty people.

"Didn't think he'd look like that...," Namjoon said, chuckling uneasily. "I heard shit like he
was a stuck-up, teacher-pleaser, but even then I thought he was just some pretty rich boy. But
he's just... that."

"Don't be stupid, he can't be that bad," Yoongi rolled his eyes, ignoring the chicken sandwich
he was focused on eating. Namjoon jutted his chin to where Porky sat, and the oldest simply
whistled.

"He's bad," He muttered. "It's like he's stuck in the early 2000s and never left that phase." He
gestured at him subtly with his hand, not trying to draw any attention to them.

Jeongguk snorted lightly, realizing Yoongi was right. The guy wore oversized clothes that
didn't fit that aesthetic; they were just straight up ugly. He looked like a block, his shirt
consuming most of his figure, and his jeans were a unpleasant blue, and were often tugged up
by how unfitted they were.

He wondered why Porky didn't care. If he were him, he would have begged his parents to
work their wonders and make him gorgeous. Schools of teens were like sharks— they ate
what appeared smaller and less fit. They ate what didn't belong. But he guessed Porky was
smart and got a position that made him untouchable.

At least he had some brains.

"Dude, if I got forcefully roomed with someone for four months, I'd make sure they were
fucking hot," Namjoon scoffed. "Don't wanna stare at something that burns my retinas every
day."

"Exactly. Like that hair. Not even a fuckin' makeover can fix that kid," Yoongi joked, earning
a grin from the two of his friends.

"It's just for four months with Porky," Jeongguk accidentally let slip, his shoulders
immediately caving in when both of his friends began to laugh out loud, drawing the
attention of others.

"Porky?!" Namjoon wheezed, smacking the table, along with Yoongi who was clutching his
stomach. "Fuck, Jeongguk— is that what you call him?"

"Yeah, 'coz of his hair. Kinda reminds me of pork broth," He gulped, stuffing his mouth with
salad. He glanced around, unsure why he wasn't joining in with them. He merely smirked as
Namjoon punched his shoulder, though he just wasn't feeling it.

"God, Jeon. You're stuck with an absolute loser," Namjoon pretended to wipe away his tears,
finally sitting back down in his seat. Jeongguk snorted, the edges of his lips tugging up ever
so slightly but he said nothing.

"Don't let him rub off on you now," Yoongi kicked his leg beneath the table, teasing him.
Jeongguk's jaw clenched, his grip around his pork tightening as the two continue firing out
shit about Jeongguk becoming just like Porky.

"Fuck, if I had a face like his I'd sue my parents."

"You think he practices being this ugly?"

"God, Jeongguk, maybe if you lost volleyball you could end up just like Porky over there~!"

"M'not fucking him, and I never will be," Jeongguk shot up in his seat, slamming his tray on
the table, making everyone in the room fall silent as his hands trembled. His jaw tightened, a
muscle throbbing on the curve of his jawline as he glared at everyone staring at him— even
Porky.

Porky. Kim Taehyung. He and his big eyes met his gaze, and for a second, Jeongguk swore
they were questioning him, silently asking 'what was wrong' without even trying. But he
ignored it, turning his head, unable to look at him without this nagging feeling in the back of
his mind and his throat swelling shut.

"Jeez, we were kidding. You of all people know that," Namjoon snorted, rolling his eyes as
the younger sat back down. Jeongguk said nothing, continuing to stab at his salad until
someone's arm slid around his shoulders.

"Saw you yelling at these two idiots earlier. What's up?" Jimin's soft, sultry vowels tickled his
ear, though Jeongguk didn't fall for his voice as he gently pushed him away.

"We're just talking about Jeongguk's boyfriend over there," Yoongi snorted, pointing in the
direction where Porky sat, laughing along to something his friends (he had those?) said.
Jeongguk, on the other hand, nearly choked on a leaf.

Jimin's eyes narrowed as he glanced back and forth between their two groups, "You have a
thing with that over there?" He said slowly, the sweetness that lathered his words replaced by
this bitterness he knew well.

"I don't have a thing with anyone," Jeongguk muttered, inhaling unevenly through his nose as
Jimin pulled his arm away from him.

"He's lying. Kid's in love with Porky over there," The youngest head shot up, sending a death
glare where Namjoon sat with a smug smirk. He knew what happened that summer. He knew
damn well why Jeongguk didn't like talking about that shit, yet here he was, fucking it up.

"You don't even know him, Gguk," Jimin spat out, the smiles he usually wore void from his
features. Instead poised on his lips was a frown, the corners of his mouth stuck in a
downward trend.

"I don't. I don't even like him," Jeongguk muttered, swallowing, though it did nothing to the
knot tangled in his throat. "He's just my roommate."

"A roommate? I thought we were going to be roommates," The older of the two snapped,
which added to the dull pounding in the back of Jeongguk's head. "Y-You didn't tell me this."
He was getting like this again, thinking Jeongguk was his when really, he wasn't. Fuck, he
wondered how long it took for Jimin to realize that whatever happened during the summer
meant nothing to Jeongguk, and every inch of him wanted to shout it to the world
that the Jeon Jeongguk fell for nobody.

But he wasn't that mean. He might be an asshole, but he could never treat his friends like that.

Not even Jimin. He didn't like him like that, and all he wanted was his best friend back, but
who was he to ask for that?

"And why should I? It's not even for forever. I'll live with it," Jeongguk whispered angrily,
but before Jimin or anyone of his friends could give them their opinions that meant nothing to
him, the entire cafeteria went silent again— and it wasn't his fault.

Jeongguk slowly turned around, wondering what the hell was going on this time, but the
moment his eyes landed on the scene, his stomach dropped.

Porky was standing in the center of the cafeteria, food all over him and two smug-looking
volleyball players Jeongguk couldn't remember the names of high-fiving one another.

He didn't know how that happened, but he winced, noticing the way Kim's entire body visibly
trembled, and how he stared at his hands as if horrified with his existence. His two friends
lept to their feet, quick to defend them from the volleyball players, even shoving them aside
to get to their friend.

He knew them as Jung Hoseok and Kim Seokjin. One of them was a dancer, and the other
wasn't really popular, but mostly everybody knew him as an underrated handsome guy who
liked to tutor. They ran to Porky, Hoseok giving him his jacket while Jin, red faced, told off
the volleyball players.

He watched Hoseok wrap his arms around Porky as they exited the cafeteria, whispering
something to him as Porky visibly fought back tears. Jeongguk couldn't help but wonder if
his own friends would save him from that with the same care Porky's friends did.

He wondered if Namjoon and Yoongi would do the same and mean it, but he knew that was
stupid. They wouldn't do that. They might even laugh in his face like the others in the
cafeteria, tell him he looked like an idiot. Would they do it with love? Jeongguk didn't know
if his friends loved him, they never talked about stuff like that.

"Poor guy," Namjoon whispered to Yoongi and Jimin and shrugged, though Jeongguk
couldn't miss the way the edge of his lip quirked upwards.

"Kid deserved a reminder, am I right?"

Jeongguk slumped in his seat, trying his hardest to drown out their insults and jokes out from
his ears. He could feel Jimin staring holes into the side of his face, and the longer Namjoon
laughed, the more he wanted to shrink and disappear.
Instead, he stole glances at the door Porky exited through. For what reason? He didn't know,
but he supposed it was just because he wanted to leave and nothing else. Right. Nothing else.

♡♡♡

Jeongguk stumbled into the darkness of his dorm, limbs aching and body slicked in his own
sweat after two hours of volleyball practice. He dragged his feet, the couch practically calling
his name, but before he could, he noticed the light by the kitchen was on.

Brows furrowed, he guessed it wouldn't hurt to investigate. He dropped his dufflebag by the
couch and pulled off his jersey, discarding it onto the floor after wiping off the excess sweat
glistening on his face, toned muscles flexing and clenching with each swift movement.

He slowly approached the kitchenette, confused to hear sniffling at this late hour, until he
remembered Porky was there. Porky. Right, the cafeteria incident.

Porky was facing the wall, shoulders shaking and tiny hiccups escaping past his lips while he
seemed to be making ramen. Jeongguk stood by the wall, sighing softly realizing the older
was crying. He kept sniffling, wiping his eyes on the sleeve of his silk dinosaur pajamas.

A part of his stomach twisted into a knot, watching as Porky cried silently to himself. It was
saddening, really, and not even Jeongguk could make a joke about it. He chewed at his lip,
wondering if he should say anything, but before he could, he knocked over a fake plant.

Porky's head immediately snapped in his direction. The older quickly wiped his eyes, cheeks
flaring a bright crimson as he tried to erase any trace of tears on his face. Jeongguk stood
awkwardly by the side, unsure of what to say.

"You saw nothing," Porky hiccuped, still rubbing his sleeves over his eyes. "Y-you s-
saw nothing."

"Okay, okay, I saw nothing," Jeongguk said, slightly holding his hands up in defense, unsure
whether he should approach him but his feet carried him toward the older anyways.

"Here to make fun of me? Call me ugly to my face maybe? I'll let you pick the insult," Porky
forced out a laugh as he stirred his ramen, fumbling with the chopstick between his fingers.
Jeongguk sighed, scooting Porky aside and snatching it away.

"No," Jeongguk murmured, keeping his voice low. He stirred the ramen for him, unable to
meet Porky's gaze, but luckily he was staring at the floor so it made things slightly easier.
"Then what? You gonna call me a loser?" He spat out, words breaking apart as they slipped
past his lips. "I know you hate this as much as I do."

"No. And yeah, I hate it too," The younger shrugged, setting aside the chopsticks to find a
bowl. He could feel Porky's eyes on him, but deep down he knew it wasn't because he wanted
to check him out.

It didn't take much to realize he was jealous of him.

He knew the feeling of wanting something you thought you couldn't have. There were a lot of
times he felt that, to be honest, but he worked for those things and received them with just a
little push from his mother, or his aunt. He guessed that maybe Porky needed some sort
of push, but Jeongguk just didn't know how to do that.

Jeongguk didn't like to help others. People liked to leech onto the successful ones, believing
if they associated themselves with a person they could earn the same amount of success they
did with little to no effort. He hated those people— parasites, you could say.

But in the library, he overheard things about Porky. Apparently the guy was an angel, and
although a suck-up, people knew he was brilliant and sweet. He was the perfect victim to
walk over 'cause he was just too nice— he let things get away if he liked you, and he was the
guy who always forgave those who didn't deserve it.

Jeongguk couldn't believe it much, but he guessed Porky was only mean because he was.
Then again, Porky had to have been someone nice for his father to like so much.

Maybe, just maybe, that it wouldn't hurt to help him if Jeongguk could benefit from it, right?
Give and take for an equal prize. If he helped Porky, Porky could help him without knowing.

Genius. He, Jeon Jeongguk, was a fucking genius.

"You like Jimin, don't you?" Jeongguk blurted out without thinking. Porky choked.

"W-what? W-why should I tell you? And no, I d-don't at all," Porky stammered, struggling to
put together a single sentence as his features flushed a faint pink. Jeongguk raised an
eyebrow at him.

"F-fine. I do. I thought you said we can't be personal with one another," His nose scrunched
together in a way that made Jeongguk chuckle. His lips pressed into a small smile as he
poured Porky's dinner into a bowl for him.

"Oh, specs, your crush exceeds that rule," Jeongguk teased, sliding the bowl over to him. "If I
tell you that I can help you, what would you say?"

"Help me? I'm not a charity case," Porky sputtered, gaining that confidence Jeongguk
couldn't help but uncover in that moment. This wouldn't be so hard after all; at least he had
something to work with.

"Let me explain," He said, handing him the chopsticks, which Porky took reluctantly. "You
want a chance to date Park Jimin, correct?"
"Pfft, you think you could give me a chance to date your friend?" The older scoffed, rolling
his eyes as he focused his attention to his bowl of food. "Nobody would date me. M'literally
the most unattractive thing on this planet."

"Well, I believe you can. You see, I can tell you all the things Jimin likes and how to win him
over. This gives you a fat advantage since I'm giving you info I've gathered over the years!"
He said, though by the way Porky seemed to deflate beside him didn't quite excite him.

"C'mon specs! I'll teach you everything," Jeongguk followed him out of the kitchenette and to
the little table. But before he could sit down, Porky swerved the area and headed toward his
room.

"Wait! I'm being serious! I'll help you get Jimin to like you so you guys could date. You don't
owe me anything 'coz you're already helping me and my record," Jeongguk chased after him,
practically begging Porky at this point.

Thankfully, he stopped in his tracks, which was right in front of his bedroom door. Jeongguk
instantly took a few steps back, remembering their other agreement about never entering
eachother's room. He folded his hands in front of him, straightening his posture to meet
Porky's skeptic gaze with a smile.

"Jeongguk, this won't work," Porky whispered, clutching his bowl tight. Jeongguk's smile
faltered.

"What do you mean? I'm giving you lessons on how to woo over Park Jimin?"

"No, it's not that."

"Then what?" Jeongguk asked, the skin between his brows crinkling. Porky sighed, closing
his eyes for a moment before opening them and gesturing at himself.

There was nothing wrong with how Porky looked, now that Jeongguk took the time to really
look at him. Sure, he was lanky, but that could be fixed with exercise and food to bulk him
up. His hair could be fixed by his aunt, Jeongguk could give him some old clothes, and his
skincare was easy— he was a God at skincare. Those glasses could be replaced, etc.

Besides all of that, Porky didn't look that bad.

"This," He whispered, tone soft. "Me. People don't give a damn unless you're hot."

"Then I'll make you hot," Jeongguk shot back, chuckling awkwardly when Porky gave him
an odd look. "Hey, I'm offering you my services, here. Along with getting Park Jimin, I'll
give you a glow up."

"That's impossible," Porky spat, about to turn back into his room, but Jeongguk's reflexes
were faster. He snatched his shoulder, knowing it overstepped their boundaries, but Jeongguk
needed this.

If he got Kim to become hot and the exact ideal type of Jimin, then Jimin would stop liking
him and things would go back to normal! Jeongguk would get his record back up and
dedicate the rest of his life to volleyball, Porky will get dick and become the hottest kid on
campus (next to him).

The plan was foolproof! No feelings involved, just dudes helping other dudes become pretty.

"It's possible, Taehyung," Jeongguk murmured, squeezing his shoulder slightly. "Change
won't hurt you. M'sure you're tired of people treating you like shit."

"C'mon. You get something out of this while helping me out, too. It's a win, win."

At that, Porky— Taehyung's adam apple bobbed visibly, ducking his head to avoid
Jeongguk's stare. The younger sighed when the older said nothing. He pulled his hand back
and gently slid them into his sweatpants pockets as he backed off, realizing that Taehyung
wasn't in it.

He turned to the side, guessing he would just take a shower and regret making a huge ass fool
of himself. Maybe those rules were a good idea to follow next time.

"Jeongguk."

That he didn't expect. He stopped in his tracks, spinning around on the balls of his ankles, his
eyes meeting Taehyung's stare. He raised an eyebrow at him, coaxing him to speak his mind.

"Okay, I'll take it. Make me pretty as long as you let me make you a good student," Taehyung
nodded, flashing him the smallest of smiles that tugged at Jeongguk's heart. He gave him a
thumbs-up, his lips curling upward on their own.

"Of course. I won't disappoint you, Specs," Jeongguk grinned, amusement twinkling in his
eyes when the older ran into the safety of his room, shouting before he left.

"Put on a shirt you manchild." And as dreadful as these four months sounded, Jeongguk was
glad he found something to look forward to even if it meant getting close with Taehyung,
because lets face it, there was no way he was going to fall for him anyways.
 smart asses & dumbasses

♡♡♡

Seeing Jeon Jeongguk with somebody other than his friends was probably the weirdest sight
anybody in school ever witnessed, especially when the guy next to him was a loser like
Taehyung.

He was used to the stares, and maybe Jeongguk was too, but for a completely different
reason. After all, he was the captain of the boys' volleyball team and an actual sex magnet
(not Taehyung's words), so he supposed his guess was pretty accurate.

Jeongguk rarely came to class that the idiot forgot how to wear his uniform. The two of them
spent the morning bickering over toast and the entire student handbook that Jeongguk
insisted that didn't apply to him ("Shut up you're wasting braincells speaking").

In the end, Taehyung managed to magically get Jeon Jeongguk fitted into one of their
crimson blazers, crisp white button-up, pressed black slacks, and matching oxfords. It was a
start, and despite the fact Jeongguk refused to wear his tie and unbuttoned a few buttons on
his shirt, it was a good start.

"Gosh, should I like walk to the front of class and introduce myself?" Jeongguk gushed,
sarcasm radiating off his words as he trailed after Taehyung like a lost puppy (if only Tae
could kick him).

"Hello, my name is Jeon Jeongguk, seventeen years old and a hundred times smarter than
your student council president. Please take good care of me," The younger mused, making his
voice sound higher than it already was, which only made the older want to punch him.

"I will bodyslam you onto the desk if you don't shut the hell up," Taehyung mumbled, trying
to pick up the pace, thankful that at least his legs were longer than Jeongguk's.

"Wanna fuckin' bet Specs?" Jeongguk snorted. "I can serve you like a volleyball out the
window if you just asked." He shot back.

Taehyung whipped his head over his shoulder, eyes narrowing at him once he found their
seats at the front. It took everything within him to not tell him off, knowing damn well
everyone was staring, perhaps wondering what the hell was going on. He inhaled sharply,
sitting himself down, focusing on the whiteboard rather than the idiot on his right.

God, he probably shouldn't have agreed to whatever this was.

He really needed to do better at keeping himself together. Jeongguk, out of all people,
shouldn't be pitying him for something in the control of forces beyond nature rather than his
own hands. He was better than that; composure was his middle name.

Jeongguk shouldn't be involved in any of his personal business: they weren't friends.

Yet Jeongguk caught him crying. He wondered how Jeongguk stayed when he probably
looked terrible with all that snot and runny tears. He was a messy crier, unable to contain
himself whenever he got all choked up, and soon enough everything just fell apart.

And of course, he put himself back together with a bowl of ramen and heartwarming gay
anime with a picture frame of his dads next to him (homesickness sucked). Mean words
weren't supposed to affect the student council president. He was beyond them; he knew his
worth.

But did he really when he was nothing but an ugly, nameless face to all of his peers?

"Hey, stop thinking, specs. Class hasn't even started yet," Jeongguk nudged his side, snapping
him out of his thoughts. Taehyung nodded, forcing his lips into a sliver of a grin until the
younger was distracted by some pretty girl.

Part of him still envied Jeongguk, hated him perhaps that he was good-looking. He didn't
have to suffer through years of endless bullying and name-calling, or the adults telling him
that 'kids will grow out of that phase' when really, those insults just worsen.

Jeon Jeongguk had it easy for him. He was able to be open about anything without being
judged. He could flaunt his sexuality effortlessly, and people wouldn't bat an eyelash.
Jeongguk could date people without any limits. People liked Jeongguk because he was a
pretty boy, while Taehyung was just that one loser, and people immediately hated him for it.

But then that other half, the half that accepted his little plan, though that maybe
Jeongguk could help him.

Besides the ego bigger than his head, his irritating attitude, and his occasional rude
comments, he guessed he could look past that. Jeongguk seemed like a guy to keep his
promise, and who knew, maybe something good could come out of it even though this idea of
a 'full-on makeover' went against loving yourself.

Loving yourself was hard, but maybe if he changed his looks things would be easier.

"I leave you for a few minutes and you're already analyzing shit?" Jeongguk nudged his side
again, whining like a little kid, again. Class didn't even start yet, what was his rush?

"I leave you for a few minutes and you're already strategically finding ways to get into some
random girl's underwear," Taehyung sighed, sarcasm falling from his lips effortlessly as he
adjusted his glasses.

"Ouch. You really think I'm all about the sex, don't ya, Specs?" Jeongguk asked, crossing his
arms over the desk. He could hear the pout in his voice easily.

"Kinda," He shrugged, getting out his binder from his backpack. "The council calls you a
mobilized form of terror to the student body's sexual health."
"Is that smart lingo for saying I'm a giant walking STD?"

"Five points to Jeon Jeongguk!" Taehyung rolled his eyes, opening up his planner to write
down the class calender for the day, knowing their Chem teacher would go nuts if they didn't.

"Isn't trash talking students beyond your moral code?" Jeongguk muttered. "You're just
jealous that I have sex like a healthy teenager."

"Nope," His brow furrowed as he broke the tip of his led. Aggressively pressing the end to
his pencil, he met the younger's gaze. "I very much appreciate my body, and I chose to
abstain from sex unless it's with a trusted significant other."

"That's smart talk for 'I'm a fucking virgin' isn't it?"

"S-shut up," Taehyung squeezed his pencil in his grip, bunching his shoulders together as he
tried to hide the way his cheeks suddenly flushed with this unbearable warmth. "M'not a
virgin."

"All virgins deny it, Specs. It's okay. When I'm done being your fairygod-dude, my magic
will rock your world," Jeongguk said smugly, but the smirk he wore immediately fell when
he realized what he said.

"T-that wasn't an innuendo, you know," He cleared his throat, now fumbling for his own
binder. The older nodded slowly, face reddened and ablaze.

"And I was kidding, I respect your choice," Jeongguk added quietly, his words shocking the
older. "Sex is freaky anyways. Pfft, who needs it, cause I totally don't. Abstinence is for
winners!" He joked.

"Just please shut up while you can," Taehyung begged, and thankfully, Jeongguk did.

Chemistry wasn't that bad, except for the occasional mean whisper and the flirty comment
Jeongguk shot toward anything that breathed and could spread its legs. Taehyung tried to
focus on hydrocarbons and naming those stupid alkanes and alkenes, not on Jeongguk's
sexual escapades.

However, Hoseok wasn't joking when he said Jeongguk actually had a brain.

Taehyung expected him to flop and not take the class seriously, but here he was, eyes slightly
widened and mouth hanging while he watched Jeongguk easily knock out those molecular
structural drawings.

He finished them before he could, and as he worked, he held the pencil carefully, tongue
sticking between his pressed lips as he drew out every hydrogen on the carbon chain, not
forgetting the methyl or ethyl groups on the side.

The entire time he refused to flirt with anyone. Any girl that walked by, Jeongguk barely
even flinched. He simply waved them off, giving them an apologetic smile, handed them his
number and went back to business.
When he was done, he gently set his pencil on the desk and cracked the biggest smile,
proudly shoving his paper in Taehyung's direction for him to check.

"Take that, specs," Jeongguk smirked, to which the older merely rolled his eyes at. That
egotistical child.

If Taehyung was some other person, he would have been amazed at Jeongguk's ability to
work quickly. He wondered if he picked up any hookups this way, but he couldn't quite
imagine hearing him say "if I can draw 2-methlypropane in less than a minute, can I show
you my dick?" any time to anyone.

"Looks like you are capable of thinking with your brain rather than your dick," Taehyung
grumbled, exhaling through his nose realizing Jeongguk was right. What else could he do?

"My dad worries for no reason," Jeongguk said, leaning back in his seat, stretching his arms
behind his head. "Class is irrelevant. I don't need a teacher's dear love and attention."

"School is literally about showing up," He muttered. The younger snorted, rolling his eyes.

"No, it's mostly doing your homework and doing good on tests," Jeongguk retorted. "I have a
4.5 GPA, Specs. Don't underestimate my power."

"A w-what? I have a 4.4," Taehyung stammered, eyes nearly bulging from behind his glasses.
There was no way he was smarter than him. "How is that possible? What?"

"I do my work," Jeongguk smirked, shrugging like it was nothing. "You jealous,
Specky?" Yes, but not because of that.

"Frick off," He groaned, hearing the bell ring. The teacher said something about homework,
but he got it all down, so he didn't pay much attention. "You're free to ditch me by the way.
The bell rang."

"No shit sherlock," The younger said, raising an eyebrow at him. "And why would I ditch
you? We have a whole ass agreement to start working on."

"We have to put that on hold," Taehyung told him, putting away his things hastily. "I have
things to do. It's a free period."

"By things you mean what exactly?" He could feel Jeongguk's gaze fixated on him, following
his every move, and to be honest, Taehyung didn't understand why he wasn't squirming
beneath his gaze. He shook his head, pushing the thought away as he zipped up his pencil
case.

"Homework. I go off campus and do it at Sunshine Sips," Taehyung explained, immediately

cursing at himself for revealing his super secret plan. Jeongguk noticed the mistake
immediately, the smirk he wore growing on his lips.

"What a coincidence— I have a free period, too," Jeongguk chuckled, getting up. He casually
tossed his bag strap over his shoulder and waited beside his desk, bouncing on the balls of his
feet.
"No you don't. Go do Jeongguk things," The older snapped, fumbling with his backpack as he
slid his arms into the straps awkwardly.

He got up, almost bumping right into Jeongguk's chest. He tilted his gaze upward, breath
catching in his throat when he realized their close proximity, the other's features somehow
clearer in his field of view. He quickly pushed his glasses up his nose, gulping.

Jeongguk raised a questioning eyebrow as Taehyung took a step back, digging his nails into
his palms. It was oddly silent now, and neither one of them knew why. It wasn't like
Taehyung's heart was racing; in fact it was oddly calm, stilling in the cavity of his chest.

Nothing happened, and nothing was the reaction.

"I'm gonna go with you, and we're gonna take on the first step to our immaculate plan of
getting you a boyfriend," Jeongguk said after some time, sliding his hands into his pants
pockets.

"If it changes your mind, I'll pay for your boba."

"You will?" Taehyung's ears immediately perked up, hearing the words 'boba' and 'free' in the
same sentence. Jeongguk nodded once, licking his lips.

"Yeah. But we're not going out as anything, okay? Not even friends. Remember, the rules,"
He said sternly. Taehyung rolled his eyes, brushing past him. This guy really was a handful.

"I know, idiot. C'mon. Let's go before the hour's over," Taehyung gestured him to follow him,
the edge of his lip quirked into half a smile. Jeongguk sighed, shaking his head to the side
before joining the older.

♡♡♡

"Lesson one of the Jeon Jeongguk's grand plan— How To Be A Top," Jeongguk declared,
handing the older his boba order, snorting softly seeing his eyes light up when his drink was
in his hands.

"How To Be A what now?" Taehyung's brows creased as Jeongguk led them to a booth in the
back of the shop. The duo sat by the corner, away from the other customers and any
windows.
"How To Be A Top," Jeongguk answered, sipping his drink. "Don't give me that look, Specky.
If you want to date Jimin, you have to channel your natural inner fuckboy."

"I don't have an inner fuckboy," He deadpanned, sliding into the seat in front of him. "I've
never had sex. What makes you think I can fake it?"

"M'not saying you're gonna fake it. You're gonna learn how to be one. That's the title of this
plan," The younger shot back in a matter of fact tone. "We have three phases."

"Three phases? How much freetime do you have?"

"Enough to devise this entire baby. Call this plan Jeon Junior because I poured a lot of my
hard effort into this," Jeongguk grinned, twirling his straw between his fingers. "We have a
lot of work to do."

"Never say that again, please," Taehyung frowned, mild disgust decorating his features. "All
you're doing is spitting out dead skin cells talking like that."

"Ouch. But okay, channel that bite. Anyways we're getting sidetracked. Back to what I'm
saying— Phase One: the makeover," Jeongguk waved his hands in the air, gesturing a little
rainbow in front of him. "We go big, or we go home here."

"How I can make sure you're not gonna turn me into the Grinch?" He asked, raising an
eyebrow at the younger, straw sitting between his lips. "Or like, make me uglier just to mess
with me." He added in a whisper.

To say Jeongguk wasn't affected by that would be a lie. He sat up in his seat, eyeing the older
as he slouched over, head bent down to obviously avoid his gaze. Part of him wanted to make
some joke about, but he hesitated, remembering what Namjoon and Yoongi said and the
events at the cafteria.

What the hell did you go through, Tae?

"You have no faith in me, don't you, Specs," He said to be safe, deciding to not push any
further. He might be an asshole, but he knew his limits.

"No I do. You just have the IQ of a squid, and I don't know if I should trust you completely."

"Hey, you can," Jeongguk said, defensively, though he kept down his volume, noticing the
way Specs's shoulders began to droop. "I made a deal with you, and I'll stick with it. You're
helping me, so I'll help you."

"You don't know if Jimin would even like a guy like me" Taehyung murmured, stirring his
drink around. "All of your effort could go to waste, y'know."

"Oh shush Jimin would like you." It wasn't a full lie. They had to have atleast a couple things
in common, right? Well hopefully because Taehyung was his key to getting his bestfriend
back, but he wasn't going to say that.
"But—," Jeongguk raised his hand up, cutting him off. Taehyung glanced up at him,
eyebrows knitted together, and by the looks of it he wanted to say something else, but
Jeongguk wouldn't let him.

"Trust me, Specs. I was going to tell you that the first step was skincare. I'm gonna show you
my routine, and since your face isn't that bad as mine was, I'll also spare you tips on how to
use makeup," He said, crossing his arms the table, slightly leaning forward.

"Makeup? You use makeup?" Jeongguk nodded.

"Concealer, mostly. I have a knack for eyeshadow on the good days," He shrugged like it was
nothing. He could tell Taehyung wanted to ask something, but he pressed his lips into a tight
smile.

"Remember, the rules, Specky. No personal shit." At that, Taehyung nodded once, then twice,
and they continued like nothing happrnrd.

"Alright, but know my hands aren't steady like at all," Taehyung said. "I'll mess up."

"Practice will help," Jeongguk countered, sipping his drink, chewing on the sweet boba in his
mouth. "In a couple weeks, your face will be clear and smooth. I'm kinda proud you don't
have any scarring."

Taehyung almost touched his face, but the younger kicked him beneath the table, causing him
to yelp out loud. "Hey! What was that for?" He snapped, pain crinkling his features.

"Big rule in the laws of skincare— don't get your lil grubby hands on your face, you lil
terrorizing munchkin," Jeongguk cooed, earning a dirty look from the older.

"You coulda been nicer," Taehyung grumbled, reaching below the table to rub his shin. "And
don't call me munchkin, you actual ogre."

"While we get your skin all nice," Jeongguk ignored him, "we can change your hair. I was
thinking we get a perm, but if not, we can start small like a trim. You got a lot of dead ends,
but Jihyo can fix it."

"May I ask how you know this?" The older sighed, to which the younger responded with
another shake of his head. There was no way he getting personal with anybody.

"Once you get a new cut, we could dye it. Then once we're done with that, we'll go on from
there," He clapped his hands together, hoping it didn't sound so bad. After all, he made this
entire plan at one in the morning with nothing but a carton of banana milk.

"You thought this out, didn't you?" Taehyung raised an eyebrow at him, but before Jeongguk
could argue that his plan was valid, he noticed the little twinkle in his eyes. Was he amused
by him?

"But what will we do to the Jimin part?" He asked, propping his elbow on the table, resting
his chin on the cusp of his palm, pork broth-colored hair falling over his eyes.
"I can tell you the basics if you want," Jeongguk shrugged. "Jimin's birthday is on October
13th, he's been a setter ever since middle school. He's a people person, very, very confident,
likes all cats, sweets, drinking, parties, and sex." He listed them off on his fingers.

"Was the sex part really necessary?" Taehyung's nose scrunched a little bit.

"Do you even know how to have sex, Specs?" The younger raised an eyebrow at him, biting
back the smirk twitching on his lips when the older's ears began to match his blazer. "I can
explain. First you prep the—,"

"N-No, I get it. I know what sex is. Does it mean that much to Jimin?" He asked softly.
Jeongguk nodded slowly, supposing it did. Jimin liked sex as much as he did. It was
practically one of his hobbies, but he didn't want to scare Little Specs like that.

"Alright," Taehyung swallowed, pushing aside his empty drink. "I-I think I can do this? I
dunno, but I promise to try... We'll see if it works out."

"It will work out, but can I ask something?"

"Yeah? Please don't ask anything sex related, or else I will personally chop off your limbs."

"How did you meet Jimin? It's technically not a personal question, so it's valid," Jeongguk
clarified, slightly tilting his head to the side to get a better look at Spec's features while the
older seemed to be stuck in thought.

The longer he studied Specs, he knew he wasn't as ugly as he and the others thought him to
be. Specs was the kind of good-looking that took time to find; it wasn't on the surface for
display— you had to dig a little bit before you hit the jackpot.

In fact, he wasn't ugly at all, he just didn't know how to put himself together.

Something like a stone dropped into the pit of his stomach, sinking further and further,
weighing him down along with it. His throat was suddenly dry, and even though he cleared
his throat, he couldn't help but feel that nagging feeling in the back of his mind.

He shouldn't have judged Specs like he did, but he supposed it was simple habit after hanging
out with Namjoon, Yoongi, and Jimin for years. Fuck, he could remember everytime they sat
in Namjoon's basement, talking shit on people who didn't deserve it, yet he sat there, agreeing
anyways.

But even that was a bullshit excuse, yet he knew he would never admit this out loud. He just
couldn't.

When Specs finally lifted his gaze away from his lap, Jeongguk turned his head the other
way, pretending to study a plant bowl hanging above them. He tried to whistle a tune, unsure
why he was shifting in his seat when moments ago he was fine.

"I met him last summer," Taehyung spoke carefully as though he was trying to find the right
words to describe this moment. "I had to work to buy a gift for my one of my dad's birthday,
and I felt bad I didn't get him anything last time, so I did night shifts."
"He was stressed out from work, and he was grumpy, so I thought I could buy him a coloring
book because I remembered he loved to draw." Jeongguk didn't want to feel like an asshole
and tell him that he was getting too personal, so he kept listening.

"Anyways, they were late shifts. Terrible hours. It was then did I meet Jimin," It was the way
did the older's face ease, which made Jeongguk realize he wasn't kidding.

He actually liked Park Jimin. Like, liked like.

"He was sweet, and he treated me like a person," He murmured, voice shy and cheeks tinted a
rosy pink. Taehyung smiled to himself, his eyes squinting ever so slightly. "We talked about
things we liked all night while we worked. I looked forward to every shift, wanting to see
him and hear him talk about his love for volleyball."

His eyes sparkled with this sort of light he couldn't quite explain as he continued to talk about
Jimin, and the longer he did, Jeongguk's smile slowly fell from his lips. The guy
actually cared for him, and he could tell by the way he chuckled to himself with every little
memory and inside joke he told him that what he felt was genuine.

Jeongguk wasn't sure what to think.

Taehyung talked about Jimin like he really knew him, which wasn't exactly the case. Maybe
he did, he didn't know, but Jeongguk knew Jimin since he was born. The guy was practically
a brother to him, and he knew every side to Jimin that others failed to see.

It was obvious, however, that Taehyung didn't truly know the many faces of Park Jimin just
yet.

But maybe Taehyung was good for Jimin, rather than him. Maybe there was a possibility to
change Jimin, make him a better person. Jimin wanted a boyfriend, and Taehyung seemed to
want the same thing. Jeongguk wanted none of those things.

This idea is good, Jeongguk thought, chewing at his inner cheek as Taehyung droned on
about Jimin's laugh. With some work, they could date. You can hand him off to Jimin and
focus on volleyball. All that matters is your future, Jeongguk, not them.

"Ah crap, look at the time," Taehyung realized, face a bright hue of red when he stopped
himself from rambling on and on. "Frack, I probably creeped you out, didn't I?" Jeongguk
snapped out of his thoughts.

"No, n-no you didn't," He said, blinking, glancing at his Apple watch on his wrist.
"M'guessing you really do like him." At that, Taehyung flushed a deeper crimson.

"Y-yeah? I guess so? But it's not a big deal," He chuckled awkwardly, following after
Jeongguk who got up. "I'll treat you next time, by the way."

"You don't have to," Jeongguk murmured coldly, tone hardening. He knew Taehyung was
smart, so of course he noticed, but he brushed it aside, instead speeding up his pace. Before
he did, he didn't forget to wave at the Jungs.
"With that attitude I won't. When you're in a better mood, I'll buy you barbecue next time,"
Taehyung punched his shoulder, hoping to ease the mood, but it did the complete opposite.

The walk back to the school was silent, and the rest of the time, Jeongguk couldn't help but
get this odd feeling that maybe he wasn't helping Taehyung. But before he could overthink,
he discarded the idea away, knowing that this was right, hooking them together.

It was right. It had to be.

 makeovers & disasters

♡♡♡

"Why haven't you gone back yet?" Jimin jogged over to where Jeongguk stood twenty
minutes after practice had ended for the afternoon, his duffle slung over his shoulder and
blonde hair tied in a little ponytail.

He glanced up, phone in one hand and the other tucked in his sweatpants pocket. Jeongguk
opened his mouth to talk, though not a single word escaped past his lips when he realized his
friend was subtly checking him out.

Oh, how he knew that trick well— ask a question to catch them off guard, and while they
struggled to come up with an answer, discreetly eye them up and down. Jeongguk froze, not
really used to being on the receiving end, and to be honest he wasn't much to look at right
now, nor did he like this.

In the locker rooms, he took a quick shower before going off to meet Specs to continue their
game plan after school. Besides that, he donned on a trusty pair of gray sweatpants and his
junior olympic jacket from when he played last summer. He didn't try hard, so he could make
Specs feel comfortable.

Jeongguk saw how Specs eyed him when he wore his small collection designer clothes
around the place. He grew used to the staring, but the way Specs's mood immediately
dimmed in his presence, he knew that type of mentality would get them nowhere.

"Why haven't you left?" He decided to reverse the question, raising an eyebrow at the older
as he slid his phone into his pocket. Damn, he should really get Specs's number.

"Oh, well, I was kinda wanting to talk to you," Jimin chuckled, grinning shyly up at him.
Jeongguk's brows eased, his lips curving into a slight oval.

"Is it important?" Jeongguk asked, hoping deep down that it wasn't. He didn't want him to
know he was meeting up with Specs. God knew what his reaction would be if he saw them
together.

Another thing about Jimin was that he got jealous easily, and he wasn't afraid to show it, or
act on it.

"Well depends on how you consider it," The older tucked his blonde hair behind his ear,
tilting his head upward to meet his gaze as he stepped closer to him. Jeongguk tried to step
back, but there was a damn wall behind him.
"Great, but uh m'kinda busy so could we save this for later?" He tried not to get affected by
the hurt that flashed through his friend's features, but there was nothing else he could do or
say. He loved Jimin; it was physically impossible for him to hurt him.

"Gguk, I wanna talk about us. It's September, and we still haven't talked about that," Jimin
murmured, eyeing him suspiciously when he reached to check his phone just to purposely
avoid looking at him.

"What's making you so scared about commitment?"

"Huh?" Jeongguk nearly choked, brows scrunched together and blinking rapidly as he forced
himself to meet Jimin's gaze. "What?" He didn't expect that.

"Jeongguk, let me put two and two together," Jimin started, tone softening as his pudgy
fingers clutched around the strap of his bag. "I felt something."

"I think we can save this for another time, Chim," He swallowed, pushing off the wall, eyes
darting around for an escape. Jimin opened his mouth to argue, but Jeongguk cut him off,
"No. We're not discussing this here, hyung."

"Why not? We both know you're gonna push it away! I don't get why you're so scared," His
lips fell into a frown as he stepped in front of him, blocking the younger from going
anywhere.

Jeongguk shoved his fingers through his damp hair, exhaling unevenly. "I told you, I don't
want anything with anyone. I don't have the time."

"But you have the time to fuck a new person every week?" Jimin snapped. It took him a
moment to realize what he said, his brows easing as he met the younger's now narrowed gaze.

"Don't be a hypocrite. You know damn well what I want, and it's not a relationship. I have
volleyball, colleges, the fucking Olympic team to consider," He said cooly, his fingers curling
into fists inside of his pockets, raven hair brushing over his eyes.

"We'll talk about this when I'm ready, alright?" Jeongguk whispered, slightly easing his tone
when he realized he was nearly shouting. "My career's on the line. You of all people, as
my best friend, should understand."

"I could help you," Jimin whispered, but Jeongguk wasn't having it. He shook his head, jaw
clamped shut as his tongue poked the side of his mouth.

"I have it all covered. I think you should go back to the dorms," He cleared his throat,
pushing past the older and toward the foyer, unable to bring himself to look back at him.

"Jeongguk," Jimin called, though he wasn't stopping any time soon. He sped up his pace,
pulling up the hood from his sweatshirt beneath his coat as a weak attempt to drown him out.

"Please text me, okay?"

He shouted after his retreating figure, but Jeongguk refused to listen any further, proceeding
to exit out the double doors. The second he was out of the gym, he froze, exhaling the breath
he didn't realize he was holding the entire time. Hunching over, he ran his palm down his
face, sighing in frustration.

Everything about that summer he regretted. It was a mistake, a big one at that, and he realized
damn well it wasn't going to be cleared anytime soon. Fuck, he was so close to hearing those
three words he hated with every fiber of his being— it was awful.

But Jeongguk already knew the longer he ignored it, the thicker the tension that enveloped
them, ruining their old conversations and replacing it with dreaded awkward silence. Yet he
just couldn't bring himself to talk about it.

It didn't really matter to him, but to Jimin, it was everything. However, he honestly thought
the older would understand since his entire life practically revolved around volleyball.

He didn't hate him— there just wasn't any more room in his life for anything, or anyone. And
the idea of falling in love was bullshit. It was a distraction, total ruination; a mess that
Jeongguk didn't need.

A mess where Jeongguk, himself, was a product of the collateral damage.

"Sorry I'm late!" His head shot up to see Taehyung jogging in his direction, binders in his
arms and blazer falling around his shoulders. The sight really was something, the corner
Jeongguk's mouth curving upward.

"Gosh, I didn't think it would take so long, but I was talking to my teacher about my
recommendation letter to Korea University," Taehyung explained, speaking a hundred words
per minute as he shoved his things into his backpack.

"Korea University?" Jeongguk asked, unsure why he was surprised when Specs was pretty
smart. He could probably get into any school he wanted with ease.

"Yup! I'm gonna be majoring in business. I wanna be some cool CEO in the future, y'know?"
He nodded, stuffing his papers into his bag, brows creasing when it wouldn't fit.

God, he was a mess, Jeongguk noted, watching the boy with a flutter of amusement in his
chest. Though he didn't mean it in a negative way; he was one of those controlled disasters.
Chaos and precision all in the same person.

"Why are you smiling like that?" The older asked, brushing back his pork-broth colored hair
behind his ear, scowling slightly. Oh fuck, he wasn't supposed to see that.

"Me? Smiling? I think you need to get your eyes checked," Jeongguk raised an eyebrow,
pointing at himself. Taehyung rolled his eyes at him.

"I already did," He said, gesturing at his face. "That's why I have glasses, you incompetent
slug."
"Right," Jeongguk bit his lip, giving the older a few more minutes to get himself together,
while at the same time fighting the grin twitching on his mouth.

"Okay," Taehyung exhaled, clapping his hands together. He wasn't really fixed, for his tie was
a bit crooked and his blazer had some wrinkles, but the younger didn't say anything— he
looked too proud of himself.

"I'm ready. What are we gonna do?"

"Today's the day, Specs," He said, watching the way the older's features lit up upon hearing
his words. "I noticed your skin cleared up lately after I showed you my skincare routine, so
it's time for lesson two."

"N-no way! Really? It actually worked?" The older gasped, fingers reaching up to feel his
skin, but he immediately stopped himself without needing the other to tell him. "S-sorry. Got
excited."

"It's all good. I'll introduce you to Jihyo, and she's gonna be doing your lil makeover,"
Jeongguk said, jutting his chin in the direction they were going. The older nodded along,
following him as they began their walk.

"How did you know Jihyo, if you don't mind me asking?" Taehyung matched his pace
effortlessly, though Jeongguk noticed he kept a decent space between them as they walked.

"She's friends with my sister," The information wasn't necessarily private, but Jeongguk kept
his answer vague, wanting to shut down any question that followed. "They knew each other
from uni."

"Oh, I see," The older hummed. "Did you two ever hook-up or something?" Now that wasn't
a question he expected. Jeongguk nearly choked.

"What? Specs, you know it truly does hurt me that you think of me like that," He pressed his
hand to his chest, pretending to sniffle. At that, the older rolled his eyes, smacking his
shoulder.

"M'just asking, jeez. I was just curious 'cause you literally have bedroom eyes for everyone,"
Taehyung said in a matter of fact tone.

"Bedroom eyes? What are you, a victorian woman?" Jeongguk snorted, dodging Taehyung as
he went to slap his arm again. "And no, not always. Especially not for my sister's friends."

"Ah I see that you follow that 'bro code' too, hm?" The older chuckled softly, hooking his
thumbs into the beltloops of his slacks. Jeongguk shrugged.

"I guess? It's mostly 'cause my sister would beat me, and so would my mom if she could,"
Jeongguk found himself admitting before he could stop the words from flowing straight out
of his mouth.

He winced, hoping Taehyung wouldn't ask about his mom, but instead, he continued to smile
ahead. "At least you have them to keep you in check." He simply said, their gazes meeting
briefly, but Taehyung's the first to pull away.

"What do you mean? Does your mom let you run wild, or something? Does she set your
curfew?" He teased, nudging his elbow, a ghost of a grin playing on his lips. Taehyung shook
his head.

"I don't have a mom."

"O-Oh, fuck, I'm sorry," Jeongguk froze, watching as Taehyung scratched the side of his
neck, flashing him an awkward grin. "I didn't know that."

"No, it's fine. I have two gay dads, so like having a mom is completely out of the question
anyways. I guess I have one, but she's out there living her best life without me, and I'm doing
the same," Taehyung chuckled, noticing the younger was staring at him.

"What, did I get too personal on you, Jeon?" He joked.

"N-no, not at all," He swallowed, shaking his head slowly. "I forgot you told me about your
dads."

"It's okay. A lot of people forget things about me when I tell them." Jeongguk wasn't sure
what he meant by that, whether it was some self-deprecating joke, he still decided to drop the
subject before it got any weirder between them.

"I noticed your jacket," Taehyung blurted, catching the younger off guard. Jeongguk raised an
eyebrow at him. He rolled his eyes and pinched the material of his sleeve.

"Oh, yeah. I played for South Korea last year," He eased his shoulders, guessing this was safe
territory. It was volleyball, nothing else. "We won the entire thing. Literally nobody came
close, so I guess it was fun."

"Cut the crap," His ears perked up. Taehyung was staring at him now, his eyes narrowed.
"You want a challenge, and that's why you're trying to qualify for the Olympics because this
isn't enough for you."

"Well, if you put it like that," Jeongguk murmured, carding his fingers through his hair. "I
guess? How could you tell?" He tried to lighten the mood, a smirk dancing on his lips.

"I have to admit, I watched your games."

"Awh, thanks for your support, Specs. Didn't think you had it in you."

"Okay, shut up and let me talk," Taehyung chuckled, rolling his eyes but the grin on his lips
betrayed him. "I wasn't there to watch you. You just happened to be there, playing when I
came."

"Were you there for Park, then?" Jeongguk asked, watching as the grin on Taehyung's lips
faltered. He swallowed, noticing the oh-so familiar way the older's cheeks flushed red.
"I assure you, by the end of this Park will like you," He said. "It'll all be worth it in the end.
You two together, and I'll be happily married to volleyball."

"You're seriously gonna date a volleyball?" Taehyung snorted in disbelief, raising an eyebrow
at him. The younger nodded, pursing his lips.

"Of course. Y'know, synthetic leather and hitting really turns me on," Jeongguk said,
immediately regretting it when he realized what else that could mean. Taehyung burst into
laughter.

"That was so wrong on so many levels," Taehyung gasped in between fits, nudging
Jeongguk's shoulder as he grew silent, neck searing hot and pink.

"M'not really into that," Jeongguk said, voice slightly hoarse as he grabbed a hysterical
Taehyung's elbow to enter one of the shops. Feel Special Salon was quite the cringey name,
but he couldn't judge Jihyo's skills.

While Taehyung struggled to compose himself and Jeongguk continued to burn beneath all
the layers of clothes he wore, Park Jihyo herself emerged from behind the teal curtain
separating the reception area from the rest of her store. She lifted a questioning eyebrow at
the duo, a small smile on her cherry-painted lips.

"Is this the 'Specs' I've been hearing about?" She asked, approaching them with one of the
brightest smiles in the room. Jeongguk frowned, opening his mouth to argue that he totally
didn't say that, but Taehyun beat him to it.

"He talks about me?" Taehyung said in disbelief, pretending to wipe away tears from beneath
his frames.

"No I—," Jihyo raised one of her hands, silencing him. "Yes, he does. He called me at one
a.m. to discuss our plans for you. Kid was drunk on his banana milk."

Jeongguk immediately looked the other way when he felt Taehyung's gaze on him, blushing
feverishly.

"Are you two ready? I got the back set up," She asked, jabbing her thumb over her shoulder.
"If not, I can leave you two together?"

"I think I spent enough time with Jeon over here," Taehyung chuckled, abandoning his side to
go with Jihyo. Jeongguk glanced up, brows knitted together seeing the two of them bond
within a second.

He followed after them, watching the duo talk about things he really had no care for. Every
now and then would he hear his name, readying himself to defend his name when they would
laugh out of nowhere.

With all honesty, he didn't think they would get along this fast, but he supposed Taehyung
was full of different surprises that even Jeongguk wasn't aware of. It still managed to get him,
and though he would be shocked, he grew used to it.
It was refreshing, seeing someone this genuine. To think Taehyung would just be faking it
since he was the student council president, but it natural. The kind smiles, the compliments.
Jeongguk didn't think those types of people existed nowadays.

"Your skin's really pretty, Taehyung-ssi," Jihyo snapped him out of his thoughts. He gave
Jeongguk his bag, giving him a fleeting smile before returning to where Taehyung stood by
one of the chairs.

"Thanks. Jeongguk helped me," He said, a smile stretched across his lips. In the mirror, he
met the younger's stare, who was leaning against the wall, and gave him a thumbs-up.

"I know he probably told you what we're gonna do, but since I'm a pro, I'll repeat it," Jihyo
teased, ignoring the death glare Jeongguk was sending her way. "We'll wash your hair, give it
a trim, and dye it. Simple as that."

"Do I get to choose the color?" Taehyung gushed, letting Jihyo lead him to one of those
chairs leaning into one of those sinks. She nodded, helping him get ready.

"Of course, love. This makeover's for you, not Jeongguk over there," Jihyo said, pulling
gloves over her hands. Jeongguk was about to say something, but the older cut him off.

"Oh, we're not dating, or even involved in t-that way. We're not even friends, noona."
Jeongguk grimaced, knowing Jihyo would probably beat him for missing that crucial fact.

"Really now?" She turned her head over her shoulder, her narrowed gaze meeting Jeongguk's.
He swallowed, removing his hand from beneath the things to wave in her direction.

She mouthed, 'you're gonna die' before returning her attention back to Taehyung, ignoring the
way the younger's expression paled. Jihyo leaned down, her hand covering her mouth as she
whispered into the older's ear, saying something that made Taehyung giggle in his seat.

"Are you guys talking shit on me?" Jeongguk asked, but they proceeded to pretend he wasn't
there, leaving him to pout all on his own.

This was going to take forever.

♡♡♡
 ♡♡♡

It went like this for an hour, and Jeongguk's back was beginning to ache from standing still
for so long. He tried to get a glimpse, but Jihyo refused to let him look, even banishing him
back out to the front of the reception.

So there he sat one of the settees, arm propped on the side, and face resting on the flat of his
palm. He checked his phone every now and then, ignoring the messages from Jimin and the
texts from Namjoon asking where the hell he was.

He could have been doing something else like homework if he knew it was going to take this
long. God, all those AP classes were biting him in the ass, and Jeongguk still had some things
to do later tonight when Taehyung was asleep.

There was so much to do, so much to worry about. His college applications and getting into
the Olympic team weren't his only concerns; there were other things that picked apart at his
brain, demanding his attention to figure out piece by piece.

And no, it wasn't the situation with Jimin. That was an issue on its own, but by helping
Taehyung it could take that off his plate.

"Jeongguk?" He resurfaced from the depths of his thoughts, finally spotting Jihyo standing by
the curtain. She gestured him forward, and it took him a second to untangle himself from
their things.

He got up, stretching slightly as he approached her, realizing Taehyung wasn't with her.
"Where is he?" He asked, rubbing at his eyes.

"I think you'll like what you see," Jihyo said. At that, Jeongguk's lips drooped into a frown.

"Ji, I'm not dating him. I'll never consider it," He tried, but the older shushed him and placed
her small hand on his shoulder. He raised an eyebrow at her, wondering what was wrong.

"Don't fucking tell me you turned him into the Grinch."

"No, not at all," Jihyo said, chuckling softly as she patted his shoulder. "But can I ask why
you aren't gonna cuff him? Sweetheart, he's amazing! And you are a lonely little shit!"

"Keep your voice down," Jeongguk sighed, pulling her hand off of him. "M'not looking for
anything right now." Jihyo hummed.

"Fine, but when you become emotionally available, date him! Don't let Park Jimin snatch
him. He's too good for this world," She whispered, gently shoving his chest. "I know about
your dumbass plan."

"It's not a dumb plan," He argued, crossing his arms over his chest. "He likes Jimin, Jimin
wants to date someone, and I love volleyball. It's perfect."

"Oh kiddo, you do realize volleyball can only fulfill so much of your life, right? I know it
means a lot for you to get that scholarship for your sisters," She said, softly. "But you need
love too."

"M'doing mighty fine on my own," Jeongguk said firmly. "I have to focus on my future. You
know that more than anyone else."

"And I do. I've known you since you were five and begging your parents to let you play
volleyball like your sister," Jihyo chuckled, earning a small smile from the younger at the
faint memory. "But don't let that keep you from experiencing something good."

"I'm already experiencing something good."

"No, I mean a relationship. Your parents' experience with love doesn't settle what you get to
experience," She said, squeezing his arm. "It's very different for everyone, and I do believe a
guy like Taehyung can take you." She wiggled her eyebrows at him.

"Get your head out of your imagination," Jeongguk grumbled, rolling his eyes as she let out a
laugh. "It's not good in there."

"Whatever, but hear me out and become friends. You deserve some better friends," She
whispered before disappearing behind the curtain to go get Taehyung.

Her words rung in Jeongguk's ears, though he didn't quite understand why she would suggest
that. He was perfectly content with his life; everything was going on as he planned it all those
years ago. Sure, his friends had their bad times, but they were all he knew, all he had, and he
couldn't see what was wrong with it.

He decided to think about it later— that was another stress for another time. Jeongguk rolled
his eyes as Jihyo made a trumpet noise, "Get on with it," He said, already growing impatient.

"Presenting, to the entirety of Seoul, the new and still very much amazing, Kim Taehyung!"

Jeongguk didn't recognize the person that walked out. In fact, his jaw fucking dropped.

Replacing the pork-broth tone was a vibrant blue, which complimented his tanned skin rather
nicely despite the color being an unusual choice. His hair was no longer long and dead thanks
to Jihyo's work. The sides were cut short while the top was layered, leaving it a bit longer by
the fringe.

Fuck, Jeongguk couldn't put together a coherent sentence. His hair didn't cover his eyes
anymore, and the way Jihyo styled it made his throat suddenly run dry. She parted it down the
middle, brushing aside his freshly dyed locks into a slight curve, exposing his smooth
forehead.

Was he wearing a fucking earring? Jeongguk nearly choked, spotting the single clip-on stud
on his ear, the white, gem studded chanel logo contrasting against his bright hair. His glasses
were gone, but he saw Jihyo was holding them. There also was clearly something on his
mouth, which Jeongguk assumed was a peachy pink gloss to seal the look.

"What? D-does it look bad?" Taehyung asked softly above the squeals of Jihyo as she shoved
him toward Jeongguk. Jeongguk blinked, no thoughts, head fully empty.

"N-No, not at all," Jeongguk swallowed, the words that slipped past his lips, blinking rather
slow as he stared at the boy in front of him.

"What do you think, Jeongguk?" Jihyo giggled, still squealing like a school girl as she looked
back and forth between the duo.

I think you're beautiful, though he refused to say it out loud. You were never really ugly like
they said. I didn't think you were to be honest.

I was just being an asshole to you, Specs.

"Good job, Ji," He settled with instead, closing his jaw when he realized he probably looked
like an idiot. He turned toward Taehyung, taking a couple steps, watching as his eyes
widened while he slowly closed the distance between them.

"Do you like it?" Jeongguk asked, keeping his voice soft as he made sure to leave some space
between their bodies. Taehyung didn't have to tilt his head up much, but he did so, meeting
Jeongguk's stare.

"It's new," Taehyung answered, adam's apple bobbing nervously in his throat. "I don't know if
I'm good enough, though."

"You're more than enough," He whispered, quickly adding when Taehyung gave him a weird
look, "For Jimin. He'll be an idiot if he didn't fall for you." He said, noticing the way Jihyo
was shaking her head at him.

"Oh he'll fall for you alright," Jihyo said, interrupting Taehyung before he could speak. She
glanced over at Jeongguk, an all knowing smile on his faces. The older was blushing
profusely, sputtering thanks in both of their directions.

She reached up and patted Jeongguk's shoulder, smiling at the two of them as neither one
dared to look at one another. Jeongguk wanted to say something, but it was practically
impossible when his tongue was tied and Specs was looking like a model right out of Chanel.
"Any guy would be an idiot if they didn't." She said finally. "Go get 'em Tae," Jihyo smirked,
but to who she was referring to, Jeongguk didn't know.

But all he could bring himself to assume was that it was Jimin. It had to be— he wasn't an
idiot.
 sub par flirting & shitty liars

♡♡♡

So this was how it felt to be pretty.

Taehyung wasn't used to it, walking by Jeongguk's side and having people stare at him on the
street for an entirely different reason than before. It was odd, really, all the smiles from
strangers, and the people actually checking him out! Some girls even stopped them, asking
for their numbers.

"Look at you already bagging bitches, Specs!" The younger chuckled, nudging his side as the
two of them enter a korean barbecue, which Taehyung insisted on to thank him.

"I'm not bagging any bitches," Taehyung said, nose crinkling as the hostess led them to their
seats. He sat opposite of Jeongguk, pushing his glasses up up his nose (he couldn't see shit
without them).

"You got two girls' numbers," Jeongguk said in a matter of fact tone. "I think that's some
progress."

"No I didn't," He frowned, handing him one of the menus on the table, making sure to not let
their hands touch.

"It was more like you got them, and I awkwardly watched as they called me hot a thousand
times."

At that, a grin blossomed over Jeongguk's lips. "I don't understand why you won't take the
'W.'"

"Because there's no 'W' to take! You literally got a free booty call right there!" Taehyung
found himself giggling as he tried to hide his face behind the menu, eyes never leaving the
younger's.

"And that was all you, Specs, and if it makes you feel better, I won't use them!" Jeongguk
said, holding his hands up in defense.

"Jeongguk, I'm very, very gay."

"Oh yes. But to them you looked straight. You see, you now are a special type of gay: the
spaghetti noodle," He quickly thanked the waiter giving him his water before averting his
attention back to Taehyung, a smirk playing on his lips.
"Spaghetti noodle? Is that an insult to my body?" Taehyung asked, snorting. Jeongguk shook
his head, plucking the lemon out of his water and taking a sip.

"No. You see, a spaghetti noodle is very interesting. They look straight on the outside, but
when they're wet, they become a squiggle!"

"Please don't tell me that was a sex joke because I'm a hundred percent sure that was a big
sex joke," He groaned with a roll of his eyes. "I'm so done with you."

"No you're not," Jeongguk said after they made their order. "You can't be. The four months
barely even started."

"God, don't remind me," Taehyung tried to sound bitter but he just couldn't, his lips stuck in a
stupid, traitorous smile. "But anyways, did you see me? I totally froze when they approached
us."

"Are you telling me that I'm responsible to teach you how to flirt, too? Oh Specs, flirting is
basic human nature," He gasped, pressing a hand to his chest, faux offense scribbled over his
features.

"It's not my fault! I've never been in a position to flirt with anyone," He murmured, his voice
softening toward the end of his sentence as he fidgeted with the wrapper of his straw between
his fingers.

"I don't flirt. It's just not in me."

"I don't believe that," Jeongguk folded his hands over the table, leaning forward in his seat.
Taehyung lifted his attention from his lap to see him staring directly at him.

"You know what? C'mon, give me your best flirt attempt right here, right now."

"W-what? No. I just told you I physically can't flirt with anyone," Taehyung stammered, not
at all expecting that from the younger. Jeongguk raised an eyebrow at him, still staring at
him, making him shift awkwardly in his seat.

"I'm literally peer pressuring you into flirting with me right now," Jeongguk declared, earning
a snort from the older.

"If I say no homo, will it make you happy?"

"Don't," The older chuckled. God, this boy really was a handful. Taehyung was already
exhausted, and all he was doing was listening to him while sitting down. "No homo is the
most gayest thing ever."

"Fine. Then flirt with me. Full Homo."

"Jeongguk, you're bisexual."

"Okay geez, flirt with me in bisexual then."

"But I'm a hundred and fifty percent gay. I have gay dads so that makes like me two-hundred
percent."

"Do you want me to teach you or not?" Jeongguk cried out, grabbing fistfuls of his hair.
Taehyung, on the otherhand, couldn't keep his composure any longer. His shoulders shook as
he tried to contain his laughter behind his palm (he was failing).

"Alrighty, fine. I'm warning you, I'm horrible at it," A smile fixed itself onto his lips, cheeks
aching and eyes squinting to the point he could barely see.

"Go on. I'm waiting," The younger said, gesturing at him to bring it on, and with a deep
breath, Taehyung blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"Was your father a thief?

"The fuck? How does elderly parent figure scream flirty to you?" Jeongguk frowned, the skin
between his brows creasing as all of his hopes died from that one sentence. Taehyung held a
finger up, shushing him.

"'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes," Taehyung finished,
and when he did, he clamped his mouth shut, unable to fight the way his cheeks burned after
saying something that cringey.

Jeongguk's eyebrows, on the otherhand, eased, his frown fading into a thin line as he leaned
back in his seat, shoulders slacking. Taehyung's heart raced in his chest, wondering if what he
said was too weird (to be honest, what even was his limit)? He gulped, ready to apologize but
Jeongguk cut him off, clearing his throat.

"Not that bad, Specs, but I'm gonna tell you straight up that was mega cheesy," Jeongguk
cracked a goofy smile, his reaction dissolving the panic crawling up Taehyung's throat. Thank
god.

"Told you I sucked at flirting. My skills are equal to a walrus," Taehyung mumbled, pushing
back his newly-dyed hair behind his ear. It smelled faintly of flowers and vanilla, probably
because of the shampoo Jihyo used.

"Nah, with some finesse, I think you can pull it off. Like I said, your natural inner fuckboy is
in there somewhere," Jeongguk said.

"Why don't you show me some of your 'natural inner fuckboy' if you believe in it so much?"
The older suggested, finding it rather amusing when he teased him. The tips of his ears never
failed to turn red, and it humored him knowing he wasn't aware of it.

"You wouldn't last one second, Specs. That's quite the big request," He warned. At that,
Taehyung rolled his eyes. "Don't want you catching feelings for me, now instead of Jimin."

"Oh I'd never. I'm worried that it'd be you falling for me, Jeon," Taehyung teased, propping
his elbow on the table, balancing his chin on the cusp of his palm as he eyes Jeongguk up and
down.
The younger snorted, "Highly doubt it. Remember, with great beauty comes great
responsibility. The biggest rule is don't let it get to your head."

"You're one to talk," He muttered, tapping the edge of his nails against the bottom of his lip.
"You're a walking airhead powered by your massive ego."

"My ego comes from my magnificent talent in the connoisseurship of volleyball," Jeongguk
chuckled, earning a grin from the older. "But seriously, I should make you sign some
contract, or some shit. 'Don't let this new power change you, or else.'"

"Jeon, that only happens in movies," He scoffed, sitting back up when Jeongguk shrugged,
folding the napkin in front of him into a little cootie catcher.

"Fine. But don't come crying to me when everything goes into shambles."

"I won't. I promise you that. Hey, we aren't even friends."

"Alrightie then, Specs. Whatever you do after our deal is over will be beyond my powers as a
super talented, extremely hot, and godly volleyball player." And with that, the two of them
fell silent once their food came.

Jeongguk was wrong, Taehyung thought as he watched the younger cook the meat on the grill
in front of them. There was no way he'd let it get to his head; the purpose was to feel better
about himself and get Jimin to notice him. He didn't care about popularity at all.

It wasn't like he was a complete pretty person— he honestly still felt like a fraud. He was still
ugly, just that he hid behind a facade of make-up and clothes that he wasn't really used to.
There was nothing to flaunt, no ego to feed.

Jeongguk was wrong, and Taehyung would prove that to him. Whenever that was.

♡♡♡
 ♡♡♡

Taehyung lept up from the his bed, panic rising up his throat as he threw his phone down and
ran out.

He scanned the room for anything of Jeongguk that would make his friends suspicious. He
grabbed a shirt off one of the bean bags, some empty cartons of banana milk, and a
volleyball, practically sprinting to throw them into Jeongguk's room.

"Uh, Specs? You're crossing the boundary," A sleepy eyed Jeon Jeongguk wandered into the
living area, pajama bottoms sagging around his waist, exposing his v-line, shirtless, and hair
splayed in different directions.

The older spun around, completely caught off guard by the younger who was carrying a bowl
of cereal in his hands. Okay, he didn't expect to immediately run into him, but at least he
wasn't having that. Was he even in to morning sex? Hopefully not.

"My friends are coming like right now. They're freaking sprinting like goddamn naruto,"
Taehyung shook the thought out of his head, breathless as he ran back to the couch to fold the
blankets.

"But today's my day to have friends over though, Spec," Jeongguk pouted, spooning some
cereal from the bowl he was holding into his mouth. "I didn't quite pinpoint you as a rule
breaker."

"I know, god, I'm sorry," He stammered, shoving his fingers through his hair, not caring if he
messed it ul at this point. "It's just, they don't like you so I'm kinda trying to hide you? No
offense."

"I don't know if I should be offended," The younger muttered, staring sadly at his cereal
bowl. Taehyung lifted a questioning eyebrow at him, supposing he just wasn't used to seeing
Jeongguk in the mornings.

They usually kept their space, but he guessed that he was starting to get tired of spending
every waking second in the isolation of his bedroom. Maybe he could start going out more.
Sure, netflix was cool and all, but he couldn't just snack on just granola bars and nutella jars
that he stashed beneath his bed for forever. He was probably to go insane if he stayed cooped
up for too long.

"Don't. That was just rude. Sorry," Taehyung shook his head, pushing his glasses up his nose
as he fixed the pillows. "I just don't think it's a good time to introduce you to my friends, you
know?"

"Why won't you let me meet them?" Jeongguk asked, scratching his bare tummy. "I'm totally
qualified."

"Not everybody likes you, you know."

"Yeah, but I'm really cool. I'll use my charm."

"No, just put on a shirt, brush your hair, and your teeth. I'll consider it," He said, barely
glancing over where the younger stood, focusing all of his attention on the living area to
make sure everything was in place.

"Fine. Aye, aye, captain, but also know you owe me later," Jeongguk's footsteps retreated
against the hardwood floors, and it didn't take long to hear the bathroom door swing shut.

The second Jeongguk was gone, Taehyung flopped onto the couch, a sigh escaping past his
lips, blue hair getting all over the frames of his glasses. He shoved it back, wondering why he
was stressing out all of a sudden— his friends weren't like that.

But a part of him wondered if they would hate him for changing. All Seokjin preached was
self-love and being the baddest bitch, while Hoseok was the literal embodiment of it, which
didn't make him feel any better that he got up and became some stranger.

He didn't know why he feared they were going to hate it, but he supposed there was always
this part of him wondering if he was ever enough for his two best friends. Seokjin and
Hoseok had been there for years, cheering him up bully after bully, never failing to put a
smile on his face even if he was crying his eyes out.

They were all he had, really. No other people stuck by his side the way they did. Nobody
gave him that same burst of confidence like Jin whenever he tried to give him a pep talk.
Nobody could make him smile and mean it like Hoseok did.

Maybe they wouldn't hate the change; they were too supportive. And then there was
Jeongguk and their plan.

His friends didn't have a good history with his friend group, or with people like Jeongguk.
They didn't like the fuckboys with no filters and did whatever they want without fearing any
consequences. They hated the privileged, and anybody who felt they were above everyone
else.

Certainly, Jeongguk fit that criteria, but Taehyung knew, thet deep down, he was different
from what others portrayed him as.
They've been living like this for the last two, almost three weeks of September. On
Jeongguk's days, he kept to the isolation of his room. When it was his day, he moved his
usual routine to the living space since Jeongguk wasn't there to judge him with his natural
(unfair) athleticism.

Jeongguk wasn't discreet whenever he judged someone. He stared at you with those big,
round eyes like you just offended his borderline addiction for banana milk.

Taehyung honestly found it hilarious a teenager his age could get high off a sugar rush from
the amount of banana milk he chugged a day. To think a guy like Jeongguk did that, but with
all honesty, Taehyung had no idea what kind of guy Jeongguk was.

Before all of this, he knew him as this horribly mean, arrogant, privileged fuckboy with no
brains. Sure, he was still a bit egotistical, but he always managed to blur all the lines. Instead
of blunt insults he made jokes, and on the rare occasions when Taehyung would go out of his
room during the night, he always saw him studying by himself.

Sometimes he would see him in some uniform other than their school's at night, which
confused him. But to be honest, what about Jeongguk wasn't at all that confusing or highly
secretive?

He still wasn't sure what to think if this Jeongguk was real, or if they were even friends
despite all of his help. It was just weird between them when they weren't talking about school
or the plan.

And the plan, oh God, he wasn't going to tell them anything about it. He knew they would
hate him for that, so that story would be saved for another time for sure. His stomach twisted
and churned knowing he was keeping a secret from them, but this was for the better.

All of this— the makeover, the plan, getting Jimin, the truce with Jeongguk— was for the
better, right?

"Are they here yet?" Jeongguk walked over to where Taehyung was now standing by the
kitchen sink, washing his cereal bowl that he forgot to clean up.

"Does it look like they're here?" Taehyung turned to meet his gaze, but he quickly noticed he
was still shirtless. Features paling, he forced himself to not look down, absolutely refusing to
after the last 'dick' incident.

"I told you to put on a shirt. Where is it?"

"Too much work. I'll find one later," Jeongguk leaned against the counter, gaze following his
hands while he washed the plates. "Why? You bothered?"

"Can you shut up? Everything that leaves your mouth is either sexual, dirty, or highly
suggestive," He aggressively scrubbed the bowl, getting suds up his arms. Jeongguk snorted,
amusement twinkling in his eyes.
"I was kidding, Berry," At that, the older gave him a dirty look. Jeongguk frowned, raising
his hands up in defense. "What? I was considering calling you a smurf, but be happy I said
berry."

"Do you want to meet my friends or not?"

"Why yes, I do. But before they come, I'd like to remind you that you owe me some of your
time," Jeongguk said. Taehyung flicked the sink off, drying his hands with one of the rags.

"If it's anything weird, consider me out," Taehyung said, about to leave, but Jeongguk
stepped in front of him, blocking him. Curse his stupid stocky, volleyball player build.

"No, I was just thinking about your shitty flirting skills. Because I feel bad, I'm offering you
my expertise on how to flirt with Jimin," Jeongguk crossed his arms over his chest, smirking
directly at him.

Taehyung's eyes narrowed, getting a feeling the younger was planning something. "I'm not
seeing Jimin anytime soon, though?"

"Yes you are. We are going to a party. It's not a rager, just a banquet for volleyball. They have
a preseason one, and one for the end. At this one, you'll come as my plus one to seduce
Park!" Jeongguk clapped his hands together.

"Please don't use 'Park' and 'seduce' in the same sentence," The older sighed, pushing his
glasses back up his nose. "I don't get how you're going to teach me how to flirt."

"I'm gonna teach you visually. Just watch and listen. Take notes, you nerd."

"But there's nobody here— oh w-woah there bucko," Taehyung's breath hitched in his throat
when the younger took a step forward, closing the gap of safety between them without a
second thought.

"What?" Jeongguk murmured, the edge of his lip quirking upward as he gently tilted his head
to the side. Taehyung choked on his words, unable to think of anything except that he was too
close.

"W-what are you d-doing, idiot?" He gulped, hands beginning to tremble in front of him.
Jeongguk merely smirked, unmoving.

"M'not even that close, Tae," For some reason, his voice was smoother, deeper, lowering a
decibel by decibel until it was as soft as a gentle caress— the frack? Was this how he picked
up his hook-ups?

"W-Why are y-you smiling at me like that?" He stammered, the skin between his brows
furrowed into a frown along with his lips. "D-don't look at me like that."

"Why not?" Jeongguk chuckled. Taehyung rolled his eyes like it was pretty obvious why he
shouldn't.

"You shouldn't be smiling like that."

"Like what? Explain."

"Like you're... being stupid. You shouldn't be smiling at strangers like this if this is what you
do. If I were you, I'd just frown. Just frown and then avoid crazy people because this is
seriously giving the wrong message."

"I think you're cute."

"Whaaaat?" Taehyung scratched the side of his neck, swallowing. Is this guy high?

"Just saying," Jeongguk shrugged, grinning that shit-eating grin Taehyung wasn't sure if he
wanted to punch off or slap off. "I think it's cute when you push your glasses up your nose
because they're a little too big on your face but you need them anyways."

"Are you sure you're talking to the right person?"

"If I wasn't I wouldn't be here looking at you, right?" Oh that smooth motherfucker. If he was
someone else, he swore his heart might have skipped a beat.

"Tae, I'm trying to teach you something useful," He snorted, and from the corner of his eye,
Taehyung noticed his hand was near his cheek. He sucked in his breath, stilling as he pushed
his hand back and tucked aside his hair behind his ear himself.

"Okay, sorry. Go on," He laughed awkwardly, lightly patting Jeongguk's chest, and instantly
regretting it because oh boy why was his chest hard and muscle-y? Were chests supposed to
be hard and muscle-y?

"If you're not ready, I won't try anything," Jeongguk lifted an eyebrow. "I do have some
deceny, Specs."

"I didn't say you didn't," Taehyung said, swallowing as he averted his gaze to his feet, unable
to meet Jeongguk's eye without his words replaying in his ears. "It's just kinda weird."

"Then I'll stop," He simply shrugged, but before he could take a step back, Taehyung's fingers
coiled around his wrist, keeping him from leaving. He didn't realize he did so until Jeongguk
gave him a skeptical look.

"M'sorry it's just... like I said, I've never flirted with anyone. Nobody tried to flirt with me
when I was ugly, and I'm not as open about my sexuality like you are," The older explained,
his tone softening as his grip released from Jeongguk's wrist, his fingers oddly burning at the
touch.

"Oh, Specs, I should have considered that. I didn't think about it," Jeongguk said, pushing his
messy hair back. "Does anyone even know yet?" He asked, lowering his voice.

Taehyung shook his head, "Nope. Publically I'm still in the closet, you can say. Only my
friends know, and of course my dads. In fact, they knew ever since I was a kid." At that, a
chuckle slipped past his lips, dying faster than it did coming out of his throat.

"Specs, if you're not comfortable—,"

"—No, it's okay. I t-think it's good if I came out. I'm not ugly anymore, so people wouldn't be
mean, right? Everybody accepted you when you came out that day," He swallowed, though
the lump in his throat didn't budge.

Jeongguk's expression suddenly darkened, "I'm not going to convince you to come out if
you're not ready. It doesn't matter who you are, Specs."

"Then what am I going to do? I've n-never done something like this. This makeover, or even
trying to get someone to like me. I'm lost, Jeongguk. I don't even know what to do without
you if you want my honesty," Taehyung pointed out, bringing himself to meet Jeongguk's
gaze.

"I've never had a boyfriend, never kissed a guy, never went on dates. I was on the bench, like
those guys on your team, waiting and dreaming for their turn but never being called up to
experience the actual game," He whispered.

"Specs."

"Jeon Jeongguk."

"Think of this like training for a volleyball game," The younger said, resting his hand on the
counter, his body practically hovering over Taehyung's. They didn't have much of a height
difference, so he was able to meet his directly, but who knew it was just as deadly doing so?

"I'll teach you every single thing I know to give you the chance to play," At that, Taehyung's
features softened as he stared into his warm, chocolate brown eyes, and for once, he didn't
question the genuine kindness within them.

"It's time you're on the starting line up, don't you think?" Jeongguk asked. Taehyung nodded
once, then twice, the edges of his lips quirking upward.

"The bench is getting a little tiring," He agreed, licking his lips as the younger fell silent. He
did too, not a single thought running through his mind like he usually did.

For some reason everything seemed to slow down, including his heart, the only thing his
mind focused on being the younger.

It was weird, seeing him this up close, seeing every detail, every imperfection that many
others might have failed to notice. It was too personal, defying all their rules, yet neither one
of them even attempted to call the other out. They stood like this, silent except for each
shallow breath that escaped past Taehyung's parted lips.

He couldn't take everything in, scrambling to remember but knowing it was futile. From the
little mole he didn't realize Jeongguk had beneath his bottom lip, to the small scarred crater
on his cheek, to the other beauty mark above the sharp curved-edge of his jawline. He
smelled fresh, like mint and some sort of tree probably from his bodywash.

What was going on? He couldn't breathe properly, throat closing and lungs squeezing.
Jeongguk was inching closer, head tilted to the side and lips parted like his own, bodies
nearly pressing yet he could still feel him.

Taehyung's eyes were wide open, dazed like a deer in headlights wondering what was
speeding in his direction. His hand flew up to Jeongguk's sculpted chest, yet he didn't push
him back, protecting himsef from the impact as the collision surged—

"Taehyung open up the door!"

Both of them sprung apart, flying to different sides of the kitchen, the voice snapping them
both to reality. Taehyung leaned against the counter, pushing his hair out of his eyes to see
Jeongguk, running a hand down his face.

"Jeongguk," Taehyung whispered his name, but the younger said nothing as he brushed past
him and to his room, slamming the door right behind him in the process.

Taehyung merely stood there, heart kickstarted back to normal, but every inch of him was
oddly alright. Albeit a bit numb, but he supposed it was the shock. He even looked at his
hands, expecting them to be trembling, but they weren't.

He was okay, but was Jeongguk, okay? What even was that? Taehyung shook his head,
guessing it wasn't a big deal. He inhaled slowly, sparing a glance at Jeongguk's door before
going to the front of the dorm to let his friends in.
 pick-up lines & put downs

♡♡♡

"Soo, how's living with Jeon Jeongguk?" Hoseok asked, sliding into the booth Taehyung was
sitting at while he finished up his trig homework.

After school, he usually went down to Sunshine Sips on the days he didn't have a lot of
homework to spend time with Hoseok on his shift. Those usually fell on Jeongguk's days, but
today he wanted to be with his friend since Jeongguk was being weird.

It was odd, but he didn't think much of it after their almost kiss. Even though Jeongguk was
avoiding him like the plague, he didn't really care that much. Meant more food and tv time
for him.

"He's a good roommate when it comes to following rules," Taehyung said, thanking the older
when he handed him his drink. He gentle stabbed his straw into cap, jittering with excitement
to feed his boba addiction.

"Really? He doesn't hook-up with people anymore?" Hoseok lifted an eyebrow, drinking his
own tea. The younger of the two shrugged as he returned to doing the rest of his work.

"I don't know, and I don't care. Whoever he sticks his thing into doesn't concern me as long as
it isn't in our dorm," Taehyung said, tapping his pencil against his paper.

"That's weird. That guy's notorious for breaking rules and having endless sex," The older
hummed. "Do you think he's softening 'coz of you?"

Taehyung's head whipped up, disbelief flashing in his narrowed eyes. "What? No. I'm not his
type, and he isn't mind. I made up my mind when I first met him, hyung."

"And what was that?" Hoseok asked, curiosity gleaming in his eyes.

"That I'll never date him, or let myself fall for him," Taehyung said, rolling his eyes when the
older gave him a skeptic look. "I'm being serious. Just because I look like this now, doesn't
mean my morals will change."

It was true. For the last few days, the people he was putting into detention or caught doing
bad things flirted with him. It was awfully weird, especially because he was doing his job,
and each one of them offered to take him out on a date, or have a 'quickie' in the janitor's
closet (whatever that meant).

He still wasn't used to it, being this pretty. People on the council were doing him more favors,
keeping longer eyecontact on him during meetings, and all of them jumped at the chance to
patrol with him during after school hours (mind you, alone— together).

Girls were asking the cafeteria ladies to help slip their phone numbers into his sandwiches.
The occasional boys would subtly check him out, and purposely get into trouble just to have
him yell at them (this school was freaking weird).

Taehyung denied them all, politely. He gave them tight-lipped smiles, said he wasn't
interested, and tried not to feel bad that he shot them down. Sure, their attention brushed his
ego, but that was just about it.

"You're aware you're hot, now, right? Everyone in this shop comes here to look at you while
you study," Hoseok said in a matter of fact way, even wiggling his eyesbrows at the younger.

"Please don't say that," His brows creased slightly. "I don't like being objectified, thank you
very much."

"Okay, geez, but look at you. Since when did you stop wearing your school tie and
unbuttoned your shirt?" Hoseok gestured at him. "Like that's just abusing your powers, my
dear friend."

Taehyung frowned a little, pressing his hand over his chest. He glanced at Hoseok, his frown
deepening seeing the look of disappointment on girls' faces sitting across them from over his
shoulder.

"It got really hot, hyung," He argued, not seeing anything wrong with it. "I do this all the time
when I come here because you guys have the damn heater on blast all year long."

"Or you're just hot and flaunting it."

"Shut up," Taehyung grimaced. "I'm not."

"Then what are you waiting for Tae? Everyone's throwing themselves at you for a chance to
get a piece of you. This is your shot to experience that cliche first teenage relationship,"
Hoseok exclaimed, immediately getting shushed by Taehyung as he ducked down.

"What?? Why are we hiding?" He asked, trying to hold back the giggles. Taehyung
swallowed, his face warming up as his gaze followed the person who just walked in.

Hoseok opened his mouth to speak, but he quickly realized who he was really looking at. It
was him.

Park Jimin walked into Sunshine Sips, greeting the Jungs with his usual wide smile that
turned his eyes into the most adorable half-moons Taehyung would rather spend hours
looking at than the actual moon. He was just so gorgeous, blonde hair tousled over his head
in gentle waves, white-button up rolled up at the sleeves, and black slacks hugging his legs.

Deep down, Taehyung was yet to admit the fact that he was waiting for Jimin to talk to him
like the others. He couldn't help but make up those stupid scenarios in his head, accepting
every single dream request from Park Jimin to go on some cute date.
"So that's who you're saving yourself for?" Hoseok whispered. "Really? When you have a
whole ass Jeon Jeongguk and the entire student body, yet you still go for him??"

"Shut up!" Taehyung nearly squeaked, face already flushed red when all Jimin did was
breathe. Hoseok frowned, not impressed. "I just never really stopped liking him, you know?"

"Then actually talk to him dumbass. What's holding you back?" The older asked, flicking the
blue haired boy's forehead. "Jimin's just like everyone else. Go up and talk to him."

"It's not that easy," He whispered, trying to hide his face behind his hands. "What if he's not
interested?"

"You don't know if you don't try. You miss a hundred percent of the shots you don't take,"
The older nudged his leg behind the table. He gently pulled his hands away from his face,
smiling sweetly at his best friend.

"And what if I miss?" Taehyung murmured, gulping shakily. Hoseok shrugged.

"Then you miss. Find someone else who knows your worth." And with that, Taehyung was
somehow on his feet, walking right in the direction of Park Jimin.

Okay, he didn't have a plan. Sure, Jeongguk kinda taught him how to flirt, but before they
could really go anywhere else, he almost kissed him and ignored him the rest of the night.
After that, he didn't give any more tips, and this meeting wasn't supposed to happen. Crap,
Jeongguk was his literal guide.

He wiped his hands down the sides of his pants, trying hard to control his breathing so he
wouldn't faint and become a stuttering mess in front of Jimin. He got in line behind him,
eyeing Hoseok from the side, who was nodding encouragingly and giving him an enthusiastic
thumbs-up.

Frick, what should he do? Talk? Tap his shoulder? Taehyung chewed at his lip, watching as
the line ahead of them was dwindling and his mind kept screaming at him for being such a
damn idiot.

"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"

He did not mean that. Taehyung wanted to cry, right then and there, hoping that when Park
Jimin turned around, he wasn't going to get decked, or at least get shot down for being a
loser. How did he mess it up that bad? It didn't even start yet.

He didn't realize how much he towered over Jimin, so that gave him some consolation that
this wasn't going to hurt. The older of the two finally swiveled around after tucking his phone
away, brows raised on his fair complexion as he pointed at himself.

"Are you talking to me?" Jimin asked, incredulously. Taehyung nodded slowly, cupping the
side of his neck, thumb burning against his skin.

"Yeah, I am," Taehyung said, side eyeing Hoseok whose head was on the table, his body
shuddering as he tried to contain his laughter. He flushed a deeper shade of red, knowing he
messed up.

"That was... cute. I've never had someone try a pick up line on me before," He chuckled
sweetly, tucking his blonde hair behind his ear. Wait. Taehyung froze. Did he not fail?

"Well consider me the first," He crammed his lips into a crooked smile, his hand sliding down
his neck before he slipped them into his pants pockets. "I wasn't kidding. I think you're
really... breathtaking."

"You do? Have I ever seen you around here before?" Jimin asked, batting his eyelashes up at
him. At that, his eyebrows furrowed slightly, everything around him suddenly coming to a
stop.

Did he not recognize him?

He wasn't sure if he should be offended, or whether if that meant he missed his shot.
Taehyung quickly snapped out of it when he realized he wasn't saying anything. He inhaled
sharply, gathering all the drops of courage he could muster.

"No. I'm Kim Taehyung," He said, smoothly, holding his hand out to the older. Park Jimin
grinned at him, slipping his smaller hand into his. Holy frick their hands touched! He
screamed internally, but on the outside, he simply smirked.

"Park Jimin. And by the way, I think you're cute, too," The older squeezed his hand before
pulling it away. He crossed his arms, having to look up to meet Taehyung's eyes. Oh god, this
was happening. He wa talking to Park Jimin. He noticed him.

"You know, I've never really said that to anyone before," Taehyung chuckled, the smirk on
his lips slowly feeling more natural by the second.

"Why should I believe a guy like you?" Jimin teased, his words enough to make Taehyung's
heart spasm in his chest.

"Really? A guy like me?" He feigned innocence with a mere lift of his eyebrow. Jimin
nodded, and oh my fricking gosh, was he blushing? His cheeks were a little red, but he wasn't
sure if it was his imagination.

"Yeah. Guys like you that use pick-up lines on people," Jimin said, giggling, the sound that
left his lips sounding like heaven. Taehyung was practically melting for him. "How would I
know if you haven't done this before?"

"'Cause I only use them on the people that matter. And you matter," Taehyung grinned, tilting
his head a little to the side, his blue hair falling slightly over his eyes. "I've came across a lot
of pretty people, but none of them were as pretty as you."

"You're bold, Taehyung," He said, eyeing him up and down. "Luckily, I like bold. Oh, and
you're lucky I'm into guys, too. What would you have done if I was straight?"

"Probably jump off a cliff," The younger said without thinking. He expected him to turn
away in disgust, probably even make a comment about how cringey he was, but Jimin just
smiled and smacked his arm.

"Hope I see you around sometime. I play volleyball, and if you want, you can drop by a little
early so we could chat more."

"I'll consider that," He murmured as Jimin walked up to the front of the line, his gaze never
leaving Taehyung's until the woman asked for his order.

Once he was done, he was about to pull out his wallet, but Taehyung was faster. He held a
finger up at Mrs. Jung, taking out a wad of won without much thought. The entire time, he
felt Jimin's eyes on him, watching him with disbelief.

"You didn't have to do that. I'm a stranger," Jimin chuckled sweetly, following him to the
waiting area for his drink order. Taehyung chuckled along, the smile he wore making the skin
around his mouth ache.

"And I did 'cause you are one," He said, pushing his hair back, feeling the older's stare on
him.

"Why did you?" Jimin asked, crossing his arms over his chest. Taehyung shrugged, flashing
him one of those smirks he remembered Jeongguk using on him. He wasn't so sure he
replicated it right, but by the way Jimin's feature softened, he supposed he did.

"Because if I ever find myself getting into some sort of relationship with that stranger, the
first thing I would tell others about how we met is that one, I used a cheesy ass pick-up line,
and two, I bought them their boba," Taehyung said.

"And what's number three?" He smiled up at him.

"Three? I'd tell them that I smiled at them," And so he did, watching as the older's features
flushed the prettiest pink he had ever seen. God, it was so pretty it could have been his
favorite color.

"How romantic of you," He teased, grabbing his drink. He knew their time was coming to an
end, and for some reason, he wished it wasn't. "I have to get going, by the way. I have to go
to practice soon."

"Right. When's your next game?" He asked, letting the other walk ahead of him as he leaned
against the counter. Jimin turned around, straw resting on the curve of his upperlip.

"Tomorrow. My offer still stands," Jimin waved, and when he walked out of the store,
Taehyung let out the biggest breath he was sucking in. Hoseok ran up to him, cheering his
name as he grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him.

"Told you, you could shoot your shot!" He squealed, grip tightening around Taehyung's
shoulders as he gave him the giddiest grin he could muster. "Look at you, growing up. M'so
proud of you!"

"Thanks hyung," Taehyung ended up laughing, realizing that maybe this change wasn't so
hard to get used to after all.
 ♡♡♡

Jeongguk's lips moved feverishly against his, a moan falling from his parted mouth as he
jerked his hips forward, nails digging crescents into the sides of the other beneath him. He
exhaled sharply into the older's mouth before pulling away, releasing into him with one final
thrust.

"Fuck," He swore loudly, pulling out of the stranger and tossing the used condom into the bin
beside his bed. Jeongguk flopped onto his back, trying to catch his breath, no thoughts, head
empty.

"We should do that again," The boy beside him panted, trying to throw his arm over him and
cuddle, but Jeongguk wasn't having it. He removed his hand and sat up, using his soiled
blanket to wipe the cum off his stomach.

"I don't think so," He said, getting up from his side of the bed and reaching down to grab his
joggers. He slid them over his hips, letting them hang, exposing the faint trace of his v-line.

"Why not? I'm hot, you're hot. Wasn't the sex good?"

Even though sex never failed to clear his mind during weeks that practically ate him alive,
this time around, Jeongguk simply wasn't in the mood to talk anymore. He shook his head,
hearing the familiar scoff of disappointment and trustfund money along with the furious
ruffle of bedsheets.

"Fuck you, you know. Just 'cause you're the captain of the boys' volleyball team doesn't mean
you're the supreme twink," The blonde spat.

Jeongguk rolled his eyes, hearing the guy mumble more curse words in his direction. The
stranger walked around him, picking up their clothes without a hurry as Jeongguk stole
another selfish glimpse of his ass. It wasn't good ass, but it was enough to ease his stress at
least.

He carded his fingers through his sweaty locks, and from the corner of his eye, he realized the
time. He blinked rapidly, wondering if it was the after-sex daze clouding his mind, but it
wasn't. The second he saw those red letters on his clock, his blood ran cold.

Oh fuck. Taehyung.
"Get out," Jeongguk snapped, voice cutting through the air. The stranger looked up, eyebrows
furrowed as if he spoke another language. "I said get out of here. My roommate's coming
back."

"Why do you care? Isn't your roommate that fucking loser?" At that, Jeongguk's jaw
clenched, his hands finding their way to his sides. He approached the stranger, stopping until
his breath fanned across his cheek, eyes narrowed.

"Don't say that," Jeongguk sneered, shoving the guy back who was clutching his clothes.
"Just don't."

"Why not? He's ugly. I don't get why you had to be roomed with a liability like that. You're
lucky I'm nice, 'coz people won't wanna fuck you if they hear he's living here," The guy said,
scoffing.

"I said, get out," The younger raised his voice, causing the boy to flinch, cowering away from
him. He pointed at the door, jutting his chin at him to leave, and without saying another word,
he did.

Jeongguk followed him out, watching him stumble as he put his clothes back on hastily.
Arms crossed over his chest, he didn't realize he was holding his breath until the boy left.
Fuck. Where in the world was Taehyung?

He glanced around the room, making sure nothing was out of place, hoping that Taehyung
wouldn't notice he had a person over on one of his days. He knew he had to take a shower,
that was for sure. Didn't want a trace of his frequent rule breaking to be recognized anytime
soon.

Fuck, plus there was the fact he promised Taehyung today he would go help volunteer with
him, and here he was, dawdling and having sex with a dude he couldn't remember the name
of just because he had been sexually deprived and stupid enough to almost kiss Specs.

Right, he nearly kissed Specs. Just the thing he needed to add on top of all his stress.

What a way to deal with things, he rolled his eyes, closing his bedroom door behind him as
he slid into the bathroom to take a quick shower. Jeongguk was able to scrub literally every
trace of the guy off his body, and in minutes finally came out in black skinny jeans and a gray
oversized shirt.

His ears picked up the doorknob click, prompting the younger to practically throw himself
onto the couch to look like he did nothing for the couple of hours Taehyung left him alone. It
usually worked, for Jeongguk's rulebreaking habit had been emerging out of the depths lately.

He didn't mean it, and Taehyung would probably kill him if he found out, but September just
wasn't his month right now thanks to Jimin, Specs, and his family back in Busan.

Sex just happened to make it a bit more, easier to deal with.

"You ready...Oh?" Taehyung jingled his keys as he strode in, his crimson blazer draped over
his arm. He stopped by the couch, eyebrow raised at the younger.

"What?" Jeongguk swallowed. Taehyung lifted an eyebrow and gestured calmly at his shirt.

"That's my shirt, dumbass. My favorite one."

"Oh really? Want me to take it off... or?"

"Just keep it. Your body is already in it," Taehyung sighed and ran his fingers through his
blue hair. It was fading a little without the constant retouches, but it was nothing too bad.
Jeongguk made a mental reminder to take him back to Jihyo.

"Alright," His words drifted off as the older went back to his room, carefully shutting the
door behind him. And with that, left Jeongguk alone on the couch.

The thing that confused Jeongguk was that nothing was awkward between them.

They nearly kissed— wasn't that a reason to make things weird? Taehyung should be
ignoring him, not asking what he wanted him to pick up for him from the cafeteria to eat, or
if he did the homework for trig. He shouldn't be standing in the same room as him, or having
dinner with him and talking about his day, thinking he wasn't listening when he was.

Most people would have ignored him, maybe even call him a couple insults for fucking it all
up. But at this point, he knew Taehyung wasn't like most people. It was this feeling he
couldn't describe when it came to him— he was just different, but not in a bad way.

But it was odd. Jeongguk spent all his time walking on eggshells around Specs, but the older
went ahead and destroyed every shell without batting an eyelash.

"Hey, loser. You ready to go?" He blinked rapidly, tilting his head up when he realized
Taehyung was speaking to him. Jeongguk opened his mouth to talk, but the older cut him off.

"Are you okay? Like all you've been doing lately is hitting a volleyball against the wall or
staring at your bowl of cereal like it's gonna talk to you," Taehyung said, his hands on his
hips.

Suddenly his entire throat ran dry. "M'okay. Just vibing, you know?"

"Really though? You've been 'just vibing' for days," The older sighed, walking over to the
couch and sitting down beside him. Jeongguk gulped, noticing the space he kept between
them.

"I'm gonna give you five seconds to tell me what's wrong."

"There's nothing wrong?"

"Five...four..three," He counted down slowly, a smirk slotted lazily over his lips. Jeongguk
rolled his eyes, knowing it wasn't going to work on him, but the longer Taehyung stared at
him, his features paled.
"This isn't gonna work," He murmured, shifting a little in his seat. "You can't peer pressure
me to do shit, Specs."

"Yes I can. It's my turn."

"Fuck off, Blues Clues."

"I'm almost at one. Literally stalling to give you time!" Taehyung mused, his gaze never
leaving his. Jeongguk swallowed, hands sweating and throat closing for an entirely different
reason. His thoughts, fuck his thoughts, what even were they?

"Why?" He slipped his palms together, wincing at how damp they were, and the way his
voice nearly broke around the edges.

"Why what? Use your big boy words." He cooed, enough to frustrate the younger completely.

"Why aren't we awkward?"

Jeongguk blurted out, the words strung into one jumble but enough to knock the wind out of
his chest. He watched quietly as Taehyung's smile slowly fell off his lips, instead his teeth
clamping down and biting at the skin.

"Is there a reason to be?" Taehyung asked, which wasn't what he expected. He frowned,
eyeing the older as he tucked his blue hair behind his ear. At that, his shoulders tensed, the
words he wanted to say bubbling up his throat.

"We nearly kissed for fuck's sake," He said, gesturing between the two of them. "Dudes don't
continue life after like normal after almost kissing someone. It's literally bound to be
awkward. It's human nature to be awkward." Taehyung lifted an eyebrow.

"Jeon, you said yourself you were teaching me." Oh. Taehyung chuckled softly, "I'm okay. I
don't think you're weird, but I do believe you're an ass from time to time. But I also didn't
quite pin you as a fellow overthinker."

"I don't overthink." Yes you did, you manchild. He sat up straighter, not missing the older
rolling his eyes. "I was concerned for you."

"Concerned for me? I'm starting to believe you're considering me as a friend," Taehyung
teased, which didn't go appreciated by the younger. He scowled, kicking his leg out to get
him, but the older was fast, dodging his attack with a yelp.

"No. I'm casually refering to our rules!" Jeongguk said, firmly. At that, Taehyung rolled his
eyes.

"Jeongguk, I don't break rules, and you know that, or else I wouldn't be having my job. I'm
well aware of them, and I have a feeling that this isn't about me," He said, catching the
younger off guard.

"Are you struggling with emotions right now?"

"What the fuck? No? I'm not a prepubescent teen!"

"Well you sound like one," Taehyung shrugged, earning a death glare from him. "What? I had
to ask. I had a seminar about mental health the other day. I'm learning to become a counselor
so I could add it onto my resumee."

"M'not troubled for fuck's sake. I'm okay," He said, crossing his arms over his chest. "Just
concerned."

"Then what? Are you not getting enough sex?"

"Weird question, Velma. I choose the category 'Nonpersonal Questions' for four hundred."

"This isn't jeopardy, idiot."

"It is now, 'cause I said so. Uno reverse card." Taehyung rolled his eyes.

"If it's about this, do you want me to write a whole ass essay to prove why I would never ever
like you in that way to satisfy your ego? 'Cause I can start with the fact that I'm not attracted
to you, Jeon. I'm not your type, and you aren't mine," The older snapped. Ouch. "Is that it?"

"I don't know," He murmured, defeated. "I really don't know." It was the truth— he was
clueless, and he honestly didn't know how he felt.

What even was the entire point of this argument? He was being stupid, letting his stupid
emotions get the best of him. He blamed it partly on September being the worst month ever,
and the fact he was sexually deprived. He was Jeon Jeongguk; he shouldn't be so affected by
as something as trivial as an almost kiss.

Taehyung was basically a hook-up minus all the sex and the addition of awkward flirting.
They weren't even fuckbuddies, much less actual friends.

Beside him, Taehyung deflated, and after a moment, he exhaled softly. Jeongguk couldn't
bring himself to meet his eye until he got a grip of himself (he was working on it).

"Jeongguk, we agreed to help each other. If you want to back out—," Taehyung started, but
Jeongguk cut him off, shooting up in his seat.

"No. I need this... for volleyball," Jeongguk shoved his fingers through his hair, tugging
slightly at his scalp. Right. It was the reason he was in this anyways, and making Taehyung
hot was part of getting Jimin off his ass.

Get your head back in the game Jeon.

"Okay, then we'll continue. If it gets too much, it's your call, but don't overthink. It sucks," He
got up after the older, the two of them walking side by side toward the door. Jeongguk held
the door open for him, but before they could leave, he cleared his throat.

"Specs."
"Jeon Jeongshit?"

"I'm not thinking anymore."

"Good, but like, I think you should still use some brain power—,"

"—Are we good?" He suddenly said, ignoring him. Taehyung's shoulders sagged downward,
and despite what Jeongguk expected as a huge 'no' he nodded with a small smile.

"Why wouldn't we be, pal?" He awkwardly punched his shoulder. The younger's nose
crinkled as he exited the door first, shutting it in the older's face before he could get out.

He sped up, snickering to himself as he slipped his hands into his pocket, hearing an agitated
Specs shout his name down the hall. He glanced over his shoulder to see Specs struggling to
catch up, features lightening up as he fought the smile twitching onto his lips.

He ran down the hall, hearing a flurry of censored curse words and Specs threatening to pop
all of his volleyballs. He didn't know when he started laughing his face off, or when he
stopped and Taehyung rammed right into his back.

It was nice, not having to think, and with all honesty, he didn't think being Specs's 'pal' was
that bad of an idea after all. But of course, he wasn't going to say that out loud.
 pals & not so good pals

♡♡♡

"Welcome to my sanctuary!" Jeongguk watched as the older pushed past the double doors to
a kennel area filled with dogs of all sizes, and immediately, he watched him practically
waddle-run over to a small black and tan dog jumping at the sight of him.

"You work at an animal shelter?" He followed after him, scanning the concrete room,
wondering why he didn't expect this from Taehyung.

"I volunteer for free. I schedule days here when I'm not helping at homeless breakfasts, or
food and clothes drives," Taehyung said, already kneeling on the ground and petting the little
fluff balls that swarmed him.

"Is this for your resumee?" Jeongguk joined him inside of one of the kennels, making sure to
shut the door behind him. He raised an eyebrow, noticing a little poodle sniff his shoe.

"Nope. Well, kinda, but playing with dogs who don't have forever owners and reminding
them that they deserve love is better than leaving them alone," He said in a matter of fact way
as he gently ran his fingers through the pomeranian's hair.

"Dogs aren't humans, Specs," He teased.

"But all of 'em feel just as strongly as you and I," Taehyung cooed at the little dog that
hopped into his lap, his entire features lightening up as the smile he wore was enough to
brighten an entire room.

Jeongguk realized he was staring too long and averted his gaze to the little poodle giving him
sweet little puppy eyes. He decided to sit down next to him, guessing it would be weird to
simply stand around for the next two hours they were going to be here.

It humored him, Taehyung's duality, that was what. At their dorm, he was shouting curses at
him and throwing around smirks like candy, which didn't quite sit well with Jeongguk
because since when did he learn how to utilize that.

Compared to then, the Taehyung he witnessed right now, shoving his glasses that fell off his
nose and giggling when the dogs left dozens of kisses on the curves of his cheeks, was the
complete opposite. He barely looked like a guy that would send threats, and more like the
person he made fun of before the big makeover.

He didn't know how to feel about that, really.

His blue hair was a mess, falling over his eyes in wisps that the older carded his fingers
through and pushed aside. Jeongguk noticed while he petted the poodle on his lap, how
Taehyung cupped the dog's faces with his palms in the shape of tiny hearts. He never
neglected any of them, showering them in his love.

There was too much love in Taehyung, and it was then did Jeongguk get this heavy sensation
tugging in his stomach, his lips falling into a frown.

"Y'know I have a lot of pets back home. My dads felt bad about me being the only child, so
they agreed to buy me whatever pet I want," Taehyung said, saving Jeongguk from spiraling
into thoughts about him he didn't want to explore.

"Really? My dad refused to buy my sister a pet after she accidentally forgot about her hermit
crab during the move after the divorce," Jeongguk snorted, only realizing that he said
something personal when the older's gaze fixed on him.

Jaw tightening, Jeongguk was about to tell him to fuck off until Taehyung cleared his throat,
looking away, "My dads didn't mind. They liked pets just as much as I did." He said,
continuing like Jeongguk didn't say anything.

His shoulders relaxed, not quite expecting that and whether or not he should thank him. He
swallowed, remembering those regular hook-ups who let it get to their head that Jeongguk
might have felt a sliver of emotion for them (he didn't) and practically tried to force
information about his private life.

They would get irritated when he denied to talk about his family, complaining that talking to
him was like a wall, and that he put little to no effort into anything except his precious
volleyball. He didn't care, for he kicked them out later, but this was a piece of himsef he
refused to give away to others.

He wasn't ashamed, he loved his family to pieces, but it was just too personal. People didn't
need to know about his backstory and pity him for the things he went through. He would
rather they talk about his sexual history and his sport behind his back, instead of warping the
details of his personal life to satisfy their insatiable greed for drama.

Not like Taehyung would do that, but just because he found one person that wasn't full of
shit, didn't mean he told them his entire lifestory right away.

"How many did you have?" Jeongguk asked, chewing on the inner wall of his cheek, trying
to act like nothing happened.

Taehyung grinned, scratching behind the ears of a beagle puppy. "I got a hamster, two cats,
three fish, two goats at my grandparents' house, and a sassy little turtle named Mr. Sheldon
Shells."

"Your house is a fucking zoo, Specs."

At that, the older let the out a laugh, the sound rumbling in his throat. "The perks of being the
only child I guess. But I think my dads love them more than they love me."
"I can see why," Jeongguk snorted, earning a jab to the side from the older. "Hey I was just
messing with you, Specs. You're an animal hoarder."

"No. I'm an animal lover," Taehyung corrected. "I give all of my endless love to little critters
because I'm single and lonely."

"Sounds like the beginning of a crazy cat lady," He yelped, dodging Taehyung this time
before he could smack him. He held his hands up in defense, a crooked grin sitting lazily on
his lips.

"So," Jeongguk said, propping his leg up and draping his arm over his knee. "Is that dog right
there your favorite?" He pointed at the fluff ball from earlier, the same one with the eyebrows
and black and tan fur that Taehyung seemed attached to.

"This little dude is called Yeontan," Taehyung said, picking up the puppy, showing it to the
younger with the proudest smile. "He's my baby. The shelter got him a couple months ago,
and he had some health issues. I stuck right by his side up until now."

"You named it Yeontan?" He lifted an eyebrow. The older nodded, bringing the dog close to
his chest.

"Yeah. Nobody here wants to adopt dogs with problems," His voice softened as he gently ran
his fingers through Yeontan's fur, massaging the spot behind his ears. "So I try to come as
often as I can because all his friends get adopted except for him."

"Oh," Jeongguk said quietly. "What happens if he doesn't get adopted?" He watched
Taehyung stiffen, and he immediately regretted it, but the older shook his head, taking in a
deep breath.

"Then they'll put him down," Taehyung whispered, words slightly breaking. "But I don't
wanna talk about that. I wanna think that someone will adopt him and give him the love this
little guy deserves."

"Someone will, but I think he looks pretty attached to you, Specs," Jeongguk gestured at the
two, unable to help the fact that they simply looked perfect together.

Yeontan was falling asleep in Taehyung's arms, cuddling against his chest like it was the best
place on earth. Taehyung continued to stroke the spot between his ears, which he supposed
Yeontan liked a lot because the little dude was dozing off.

"Oh no, I can't. I'm not home as often as I was," He murmured. "I know my dads would be
okay with it, but they're already taking the time out of their days to watch out for my pets
there."

"Do you go home often?" Jeongguk asked, shifting uncomfortably watching Taehyung fall
silent on him. "The school lets us go home every other weekend to see our families."

"They're in Daegu. I can't," Taehyung muttered. "I wish I could. I miss them, but I have stuff
to do, and they understand college is the most important to me right now."
"I see," The younger's teeth captured his bottom lip, gently nibbling at the skin. "Isn't it
funny? I kinda understand you for once, Specs." That was a little bit of a lie.

"What?" He raised a questioning eyebrow at him. "Was that supposed to be an insult?"

"Oh no, no," Jeongguk shook his head, shifting so that his legs were now crossed over one
another, not realizing that his knee brushed against Taehyung's.

"I just get where you're coming from."

"You do?" Taehyung said, at which the younger nodded. "Wow, that's so cool that we can
relate to one another." Sarcasm dripped from the older's words, but he knew he was kidding
but that didn't stop Jeongguk from nudging his side.

"Yeah," He shrugged. "I don't know if this is a shocker, but I really miss my family too." His
voice softened at the faintest memory of his sisters flashed in his head for a second too short
for his own liking.

"Wow, you're displaying human emotions. So relatable. The flavor is immaculate."

"Okay stop," Jeongguk scowled, smacking the older's shoulder who was snickering to
himself. "I'm trying to show you my innate relatability and awesomeness here."

"Why yes. If I were somebody else, I'd think you were trying to win me over," Taehyung
teased, raising his hands up to defend himself when the younger shot him yet another death
glare.

"Alright, I'm sorry," He said, patting the younger's knee. "I'll stop. I'm listening to you now."

"M'not trying to win you over," He grumbled. "I just didn't want you to think you were weird
'coz you miss your family. Mine live in Busan, and I can't go up because of volleyball. So
bam, you're not weird 'coz I miss mine too."

"You really love volleyball, don't you?" The older hummed, gently putting Yeontan aside as
he got up onto his feet. He held his hand out for Jeongguk, which the younger simply stared
at.

"Volleyball is the entirety of my existence. It's the reason I wake up, but so are my family,"
Jeongguk nodded, slowly taking Taehyung's hand in his. It was fleeting, that exact moment.
Their eyes met, neither one saying a word, and soon once their hands separated, the world
resumed as per usual.

Funny how everything— his heart, time, their surroundings— seemed to stop around
Taehyung. Jeongguk tried not to think too hard about that.

"Where are we going?" He asked, following the older to one of the walls were leashes
dangled from pegs. He watched as Taehyung took off a harness for Yeontan and gave the
same things to Jeongguk.
"Walking them. We pet, then we walk, play, feed, cuddle, and go," Taehyung said. He lead
him to where Yeontan and another dog was, gesturing at the younger to crouch down.

He taught Jeongguk how to properly put on a dog harness and attach the leash, and soon
Jeongguk was petting the soft head of a white maltese named Gureum. It yapped at him when
he pulled his hand away, and when he went to pet the little guy, it nuzzled against his fingers.

"Looks like you charmed yet another one," Taehyung teased, getting back up to his feet, red
leash in his hands. "Who else can you not charm?"

"You," Jeongguk teased, earning an eyeroll from the older as the two of them walked with
their dogs out of the kennel area.

"In your dreams," Taehyung stuck his tongue at him. The two of them walked side by side,
Yeontan and Guruem waddling ahead of them on their leashes: red, for Taehyung, and blue
for Jeongguk.

They went outside of the building, and nearby was a little park for dogs, which was rather
convenient so they didn't have to go too far and tire the little ones. Yeontan kept scaring poor
Gureum with his barks every now and then when they see another dog.

"Awh he's like you, too, Specs," Jeongguk said when Taehyung bowed to an old woman
walking her own dog after Yeontan brutally scarred her chihuahua for life.

"What do you mean?" Taehyung grumbled, cheeks slightly dusted with pink as he gently
tugged Yeontan along.

"You think you're so intimidating and confident, until a big dog comes along," Jeongguk bit
back a laugh, gesturing at the way Yeontan hid behind Taehyung's legs when a woman jogged
by with her golden retriever.

"What?" He frowned, earning an eyeroll from him.

"I mean you suck literal ass at flirting."

"I beg your pardon," Taehyung frowned, "I can flirt."

"A pick-up line isn't flirting, young padawan," He said, leading Gureum away from Yeontan
who was now growling at him. "Face it. Your skills can never beat mine."

"Really now?" He raised an eyebrow at him, "I want you to let you know I saw Jimin the
other day."

"You did what now?" Jeongguk's lips crammed into a frown, eyebrows narrowing on his
features. "When did you see him?"

"At Sunshine Sips. He came in before volleyball practice, and we talked! I approached him,
and I thought I messed up, but we ended up flirting, and gosh he's so much prettier up close!
He forgot who I was, though, but I don't blame him 'cause I changed my looks and I wasn't
wearing glasses," Taehyung rambled, gushing about their meeting to a severely concerned
Jeongguk.

"He forgot your name?" Jeongguk interrupted his ramble about how gorgeous Jimin's smile
was. The older stopped talking to realize what he said and finally nodded.

"Well yeah, it doesn't matter to me. I wasn't that memorable anyways before I got a
makeover," He shrugged like it was nothing, but to Jeongguk, every alarm in his head was
setting off.

"Didn't you tell me that you spent most of summer together?" He asked, stopping in his
tracks, not at all liking the sound of this. Taehyung nodded like he was being stupid.

"Jeongguk, it's okay. I'm used to people forgetting who I am," Taehyung rolled his eyes like it
was nothing. Jeongguk bit his lip, unsure whether he was lying to him right now.

"What else did you talk about?" Jeongguk continued, trying not to sound too nosy. It was just
that he didn't like what he was hearing, not because he had any feelings for Jimin (he didn't),
but the fact that Jimin could be faking things.

"He talked about your volleyball game today, and he invited him to the lockers." Jeongguk
choked.

Motherfucking Park Jimin did what?

"S-Specs don't go," Jeongguk waved him aside when he gained control of himself. Taehyung
raised an eyebrow at him, but he was quick to explain, "Don't. Trust me. I've known Jimin for
years. I'm not trying to ruin your hopes, but please don't go."

"Why not? You can't make my decisions for me, Jeon," Taehyung said, the skin between his
brows creasing along with the corners of his lips.

"It's not a good idea. I don't think you're ready for it," He said, firmly. "Inviting people to the
locker room isn't limited to just Park Jimin. Fuck, even I've done it before. Everybody does it
if they're an ace."

"What do you mean?" The older frowned. Jeongguk sighed, shoving his fingers through his
hair, unable to meet Taehyung's gaze. "Jeongguk."

"He's inviting you for sex, alright!"

"Oh," Taehyung whispered, and when Jeongguk did bring himself to look over at him, he
noticed the boy's cheeks were flushed a bright hue of pink.

"I'm not proud of it, but we athletic stars do fuck in the lockers. Don't give me that look!" He
snapped, though he immediately calmed himself down, not wanting to scare Specs. "I warned
you. I know you wanted your first time to be...special."

"Jeongguk...," The older murmured, twisting the leash between his fingers. Jeongguk sighed,
eyeing the older, silently shouting 'what' at him.
"Does he just want me for the sex?"

"What? No! If Jimin got to know you better, he wouldn't. He's a cool guy, I swear. Just keep
talking to him and don't let him take things like that from you," Jeongguk said, his tone
softening around the edges.

He wasn't so sure why he was painting his friend out to be some good person, but he just
couldn't live with the way Taehyung's features dimmed when he told him that. He didn't
regret telling him the truth, that was for sure. Who knew how easily he crumbled under
pressure, especially when he saw Jimin like he was the most perfect thing on earth?

Taehyung didn't deserve to get played like that.

"You can still come to the game," Jeongguk said, hating the silence between them. "I'll be
there to beat him if he tried anything."

"It's okay," Taehyung whispered, waving him off with a small smile as he turned to return
back to the shelter. "We can try again some other time." And with that, he went back without
waiting for him.

Fuck. What did he just do?

♡♡♡

"You," Jeongguk seethed, trying to keep himself calm as he approached Jimin by his locker.
The game was going to start in thirty minutes, the coach wanting them out to warm up, but
Jeongguk needed to do this. He just had to.

"He's not going to show up now or later," He said, hands on his hips when the older's gaze
settled on him. He stood in front of him, jaw clenched tight.

"Who are you talking about?" Jimin asked, batting his eyelashes innocently, tilting his head
up to meet his intense gaze.

"You know who I'm talking about," The younger snapped, keeping his expression calmed.
"That Kim Taehyung guy isn't a toy."
"Oh. So you've been keeping tabs on me Jeonggukie? I didn't think you cared about me," The
older merely frowned, turning to the mirror on his locker door to apply lipgloss across his
lips. "But you got me. Guy's fucking hot as hell."

"Don't take this wrong, Chim. Taehyung's off limits for sex," He said, watching the older
smack his lips, satisfied with his look for their game. Jimin adjusted his shorts, raising them
higher over his ass.

"If you wanted to fuck him, I would have let you," Jimin simply shrugged, turning back
around to face the younger. "You could've just asked, Ggukie."

"What? No," Jeongguk scowled, shaking his head. "I'm saying this because he's a decent
guy."

"Bullshit. Everybody's fucked up here. Including you."

"Not Taehyung," He murmured, glancing over Jimin's shoulder to see Yugyeom and San
gesturing at them to hurry up and get out. "Fuck with anyone you want, except Taehyung.
He's the guy who you're looking for. Someone... who has commitment."

"I don't even know him," Jimin started, which the younger cut off with a bitter laugh.

"Hell yeah you do. He's the kid you worked with at the convenience store," Jeongguk said,
watching realization ease its way onto Jimin's features. "You know him."

"Why are you even doing this? Are you his friend, or something?" At that, the younger
stiffened, not quite expecting Jimin to say that. His adam's apple bobbed in the hollow of his
throat.

"We're pals," He murmured, "and I want you to date someone who's actually interested in
you." His brows furrowed when Jimin stepped closer, their faces meters apart from one
another's.

"Are you even hearing yourself, Gguk?" Jimin scoffed, his hand reaching up to fix a wrinkle
on Jeongguk's shirt. They were wearing the long sleeved ones today, the ones Jimin liked,
ones he hated.

"Someone's lying here, and it isn't me. Hurts to think you'd lie to your only bestfriend who's
been there for you for forever," He rested his hand on his shoulder, smirking up at him.
Before Jeongguk could speak up, Jimin leaned forward, pressing his lips against his.

It was brief, and he could taste his sugary cherry lipgloss, burning on his skin along with his
touch; it didn't feel right. He frowned, gaze narrowed while he wiped his mouth with the edge
of his sleeve, eyes following Jimin as he patted the side of his cheek with the fakest of
smiles.

"I'll be careful with Taehyung just for you," Jimin hummed. "But one last thing." He said
before pushing past him, massaging his fingers to get ready to set for their important game
tonight.
"You still owe me for keeping your secrets, Ggukie."

Fucking snap out of it, Jeongguk shook his head, running a hand down his face. You have a
game to play. He inhaled sharply, shutting Jimin's locker and leaving once the older was out
of sight.

"What were you doing?" Yugyeom jogged up to him, handing his captain a volleyball to start
warming up. Jeongguk immediately tossed the ball in front of him, sending it surging forward
over the net in one second.

He grabbed another one, teeth gritted as he ignored Yugyeom's questions, the crowd
screaming his name in the distance, and the warm-up music deafening his ears. He didn't
hesitate to serve it over, slamming all of his power onto one ball, the ball bending at his will.

"Woah, woah, slow down you frustrated bunny before you break an opponent's face,"
Yugyeom patted Jeongguk's shoulder after he served another ball that almost knocked a
player on the floor

"I'm warming up," Jeongguk deadpanned, grabbing another ball off the floor and spinning it
in his palms effortlessly. On the otherside of the court, the opponents were shouting at him to
chill out.

"Let me warm up. That's an order."

"You're gonna kill someone. Nobody serves like a machine gun except you," Yugyeom
snatched the ball from his hands, earning a 'hey watch it' from the older as he held it above
his head. Screw tall people.

"We all know you're aiming for their best players 'cuz they're annoying as fuck, but we need a
team to play against," The younger said, lightly serving the ball underhand to another player
waiting for one.

"Let me serve," Jeongguk snapped, trying to grab another ball just for it to be kicked away
and given to somebody else.

"Cool down first. You solve your issues by hitting a ball or having sex. I solve mine by
talking," Yugyeom grumbled, grabbing him by the wrist and pulling him off the court despite
his protests.

"Gyeom, I'm the captain. I need to be out there," He argued, shoving his fingers through his
damp hair, lips bunched into a scowl.

"Not when there's a fat vein throbbing on your neck that's aboutta burst," Yugyeom poked his
collarbone. Jeongguk yelped, slapping his hand away as he tried to push past him but to no
avail. Stupid middle blockers. They were literal walls.

"I'm fine," Jeongguk tried again, only to be grabbed the shoulders and be firmly held in place.
"What do you want me to say? I'm currently stressing out from my shitty ass week, my shitty
ass life, and my shitty ass emotions. Is that what you wanna hear?"
"Bingo," The older deflated, realizing that was exactly what he wanted to hear. "Is there
anything I could do? Y'know help?" Yugyeom asked.

"Leave me alone," He forced a smile to his lips, finally prying the younger's hands off of him.
"I got it. It's none of your business." He snapped, grabbing a ball rolling in his direction.

"Well you're our team captain. You're concerned about us all the time, so we should care
about you," Yugyeom said, watching as Jeongguk settled into his stance, his arm bent with
the ball centered on his palm.

"I'm fine," He said, gritting his teeth together as he spun the volleyball one last time. "I'll be
fine."

And he was. Sort of.

There was something about volleyball that took the chaos of his life, crammed it together into
a ball he could channel all of his frustration into, and slam it across the net. It made things
make sense for a little while, and he supposed that's why he loved it so much because it
cleared up his mind.

It was euphoric when the ball came into contact with his hand and all of his power centered
on slamming it to the ground for the kill. It just made sense; it was like second nature.

They were winning, as always. With Jimin as their setter, Yugyeom and Soobin as the
blockers, San as the libero, and Jeongguk as the ace, things were easy. Sure, the other team
got a few rallies up, but they always made sure to shut them down.

But near the end of the second set, while the team was gathered around for a time-out called
by the other team (it was useless; they knew were losing to Jeongguk's team), he glanced
around the crowd, a particular blue-haired someone catching his eye.

It was Specs and his friends, and Specs was waving at him from the stands, or well, at least
he thought he was. He was about to wave his hand, but from the corner of his eye, he realized
Specs wasn't waving at him, but at Jimin.

Oh.

Jeongguk took a swig of water, shutting out Specs from his thoughts. When Jimin brushed
past him to get onto the court, he winked at him, and got onto his position by the net like
nothing happened. It shouldn't have affected him like it did, but Jeongguk swallowed it back
down to play.

They ended up winning both sets.

A whistle snapped through the silence once the ball bounced off the ground, rolling over to
the other team's benches. Of course Jeongguk hit the last kill, knowing he beat his last record
of 20 for 25, and of course it was Jimin who set it to him.

He knew deep down he was nothing without Jimin, and he made sure to remind him of that.
He landed back on his feet, swiping the sweat slicking his forehead with his wrist only to see
Jimin's back facing him. He was getting his hair ruffled by San and Jackson, praising him for
his amazing setting skills.

Eventually they all shook hands and bowed, though he knew neither one of their opponents
were happy. Nobody liked Jeongguk— he had opportunities they didn't and skills they
couldn't master, but it didn't really bother him when they gave him nasty looks.

All he cared about was reaching Specs when he noticed Jimin was gone from the circle.

"Where are you going?" Yugyeom called after him, but Jeongguk ignored him, thanking
nature for giving him his height as he spotted Specs's blue hair by the stands.

Jeongguk pushed past their school reporters, trying to get a word from him about the game.
He ignored girls reaching out to him, his attention fixated on the only thing that mattered in
that moment. When he finally emerged from the crowd, Jimin was already gone, leaving
behind a flustered Specs.

"Where's Jimin?" He asked, grabbing Specs's by the shoulder to get him to face him.
Taehyung seemed shocked to see him, but the older snapped out of it, blinking a couple
times.

"He just left, why?" Taehyung questioned, his gaze drifting to where Jeongguk's hand was
still on his shoulder. The younger swallowed thickly, recoiling his hand back.

"Did he try to invite you to the lockers?" Jeongguk said, unsure why he was so out of breath,
but thankfully the older shook his head at him.

"Do I need to beat him, or anything?"

"You don't. He just asked me something that I might need your help with because I'm awfully
bad at stuff like this." At that, he raised an eyebrow at him, urging him to continue. With a
roll of his eyes, he said the last thing Jeongguk wanted to hear.

"He asked me out on a date!" What the fuck.

 fake & faker

♡♡♡

"Park fucking Jimin asked you out? He what now?"

Seokjin's eyebrows raised at the youngest as the three of them were crammed onto the couch,
sharing warm blankets and popcorn to rewatch their favorite movies instead of studying like
they should be.

It was a problem with having a tv, and of course, Taehyung didn't want it to just sit there
collecting dust. It wasn't like Jeongguk ever used it, so he supposed he was doing him a favor
anyways.

"He did! After the volleyball game he came up to me, said I looked cute— and mind you, I
was wearing my usual stuff— then we talked some more about the game, and he said we
should grab boba sometime!" Taehyung gushed, leaning into Hoseok who wrapped his arms
around his shoulders.

"Were you like... hearing things right?" Jin asked, his tone still edged with skepticism.
Taehyung nodded eagerly.

"We even exchanged numbers!" He squeaked, "but I'm not gonna text first 'cuz I'm not that
dumb, and it's hard to text first." Jin glanced over at Hoseok, his lips pressed together into a
tight line.

"So can I ask you some serious question?" Seokjin hummed, throwing his arm over the back
of the couch. Taehyung gave him a thumbs-up, mumbling 'sure' as he popped another piece
of popcorn into his mouth.

"You're well aware of Jimin's sexual history, right?"

Well yeah, Taehyung nearly choked on his popcorn, but he tried to keep a straight face. He
knew the older was completely inexperienced compared to him, but that didn't really concern
him since he had Jeongguk to help him out.

Jeongguk was probably just as experienced as Jimin, so at least that helped edge Taehyung
near even ground with him. The younger told him he was still going to teach him some new
things, and Taehyung was cool with it as long as its things that could help him keep Jimin
interested.

"Jin's right, Tae. You've never kissed anyone, much less even did the diddly do," Hoseok
wiggled a suggestive eyebrow at him, earning an eyeroll from the blue-haired boy.
"He could be taking advantage of you, bub," Seokjin murmured. "Jimin's worse than Jeon
Jeongguk. The guy's rumored to have a higher bodycount than your roommate over there."

"Seokjin hyung's right. Your bodycount is zero, while Jeongguk over there and Jimin
probably have over a hundred."

"My roommate over where?" Taehyung asked, only to see Seokjin gesture where Jeongguk
stood by his bedroom door, yawning and rubbing at his tired eyes. His lips curved into an
oval, remembering the younger usually woke up this late in the day.

He ignored the weird looks Hoseok and Seokjin were giving him as he made sure Jeongguk
was fully awake. The guy was an idiot and usually stayed up until three in the morning
studying in the kitchen, drinking banana milk and talking to someone on the phone at such an
ungodly time.

Taehyung never interrupted him, though every now and then he would check up on the
younger to make sure he was asleep. When he did manage to make it to the bed, however,
Jeongguk was out like a light for hours, and the second he woke up, the poor guy was
delirious as heck.

So Taehyung, being the greatest roommate ever, made things easier for him. He eventually
realized that Jeongguk actually had a lot of things on his plate, and simple things like
reminding him to eat and making sure he wouldn't hurt himself half-awake was his duty as
his roommate.

"I brought out a bowl for you and your cereal," He said, pushing Hoseok's arms off of him to
sit up on the couch. Jeongguk, eyes still shut and lips pressed into a small pout, nodded,
scratching the side of his neck before waddling to the kitchen.

"Make sure you're awake before you pour the milk stupid." The younger gave him a thumbs-
up, which was enough for Taehyung to return back to where he was sitting between the two
older boys.

"What was that?" Hoseok asked, not bothering to keep his voice down. Taehyung raised an
eyebrow at him, but the older shrugged. "What? He's delirious. He won't remember this shit."

"I can hear you," Jeongguk said from the kitchen.

"See. He can't hear us," Hoseok smiled, patting Taehyung's shoulder. "Completely delirious."

"Still can hear you. Not deaf or delirious. I'm eighty percent awake." They all ignored him
anyways.

"Anyways, can I also ask the fuck was that for?" Jin blinked, unable to comprehend what just
happened. The youngest rolled his eyes, smacking both of their arms.

"I can literally hear ya'll talking shit, the fuck?"

"I was just being a nice roommate," He said in a matter of fact tone, shrugging like it was
nothing. "We've been living together for literally a month and spending every second of our
days together. He may be an asshole but he's nice too, on the good days."

"Hey, don't act like I folded all your socks for you Hoseok. And Jin, remember how I always
made you dinner after your night shifts at the ass crack of dawn?" Taehyung scowled, unsure
why they were making such a big deal of it.

"I'm just being a good roommate, nothing else."

"Alright. Just making sure that this makeover isn't making you a hoe," Hoseok chuckled,
yelping when Taehyung lightly punched his shoulder. "What? I don't want you having a high
bodycount either."

"M'not gonna be a hoe," The younger of the trio grumbled. "I'd never date Jeongguk, or
anyone othee than Park Jimin. Sorry." He called over his shoulder to where the younger
stood, quietly munching on fruity pebbles and staring at the wall.

"Geez, Tae. Why do you have to be so brutal?" Jin joked, raising his hands up in defense as
Taehyung silently threatened to hit him. "And seriously. Out of all people, you wanna date
Park Jimin?"

"Because he's a really sweet guy," Taehyung sighed, feeling like he was seriously repeating
himself for the umpteenth time. What about Park Jimin did they not trust? "I know him in a
way you guys don't."

"Sure you do. Jeongguk knows him better, and he was probably with the guy all summer.
Everyone thinks they know a person just 'cause they have sleep-deprived conversations at a
shitty time," Jin said, and also added, "Who knew if he changed."

"Dudes. I'm still here. In the room. Awake."

"I do because he didn't, hyung. He told me nothing happened when we worked together," He
frowned, jutting out his bottom lip into a pout, barely looking over at Jeongguk who was
aggressively spooning cereal into his mouth.

"I don't like arguing with you guys at all."

"We're not arguing. We're just trying to understand why you're going for a well-known
fuckboy," Seokjin said, glancing over at Hoseok to support him, but the second oldest merely
shrugged.

"I honestly don't care. I trust Taehyung, and if he wants to date Jimin, he can go for him,"
Hoseok said, patting the youngest's head with a fond smile. "If Jimin's an asshole, we'll beat
him up."

"Well Tae, I trust you, but why him? Seriously, you could date someone on your level and
lose your virginity together. It just doesn't sit right with me when a guy like Jimin is gonna
take your first kiss and that thing," Jin sighed.

"I want the best for you."

"And Jimin's more than enough," Taehyung muttered, earning an eyeroll from the oldest.
Before he could defend himself, Jin turned around, waving over at Jeongguk to get his
attention.

"Now you acknowledge my beautiful presence," Sarcasm dripped off of Jeongguk's words,
which brought the smallest of smiles to Taehyung's face. Jin, on the other hand, rolled his
eyes.

"What's your opinion on Park Jimin?" Seokjin asked, which made Taehyung scoff and shake
his head. He knew Jeongguk wasn't going to answer, or if he did, he would bite back with
something rude.

"Do you prefer the biased, or unbiased response, good sir?" Okay, he did not expect that. He
turned around, brows knitted together to see if it was really his Jeongguk talking.
Surprisingly, it was still the idiot with messy bed hair eating children's cereal.

"Unbiased, you douchebaguette," The oldest said, narrowing his gaze. "Why would I ask you
if you were just gonna sugarcoat shit?"

"Dunno. You even said yourself I had a lot of bodies, over a hundred, which is wrong. I'm
also starting to question you as well, Sheepy," Jeongguk shrugged, the edge of his lip
quirking upward into a smirk.

"Sheepy? The fuck?"

"You look like a smol alpaca, so bam, Sheepy it is."

"Alpacas aren't sheep."

"Sheeeeeeepy."

"Taehyung control your animal," Jin whipped his head back to where the two others sat,
fighting smiles on their faces. Taehyung simply shrugged, knowing there was nothing he
could do.

"M'not an animal. I'm quite the educated human specimen. Just look at my GPA," Jeongguk
said, earning a death glare from both Jin and Taehyung.

"But most people are interested in my dick. Can't control that, but like they said. The bigger
the brain, the bigger the weewee—,"

"—Jeongguk," Taehyung tried to hold back his laughter, his arms crossed over the back of the
couch as his gaze met the younger's. "Please cooperate." He flashed him a smile, one he
couldn't bite back.

"Fine," He raised his bowl up along with his free hand in defense. "My opinion on Jimin
without bias? He's got the commitment. He wants a relationship, and he's a good guy. There.
A Jeon Jeongguk review. Wanna rate your experience?"
"Is that all? I feel like you're bullshitting me," The older muttered, not in the mood for these
younger kids' shenanigans.

"I'm not. Jimin's a good person. When he finds the one, he'll settle on them. He's a loyal guy,
it's just he needs someone to be loyal back," Jeongguk said smoothly, waving his spoon at
them.

"And you think Taehyung's qualified?"

"I'm very sure that Grover over there is just a splendid match for Mr. Park."

"That's all?" Jin raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah. Would you like to rate your experience now? Leave a good review while you're at it?"

"Please shut up for the love of God, before I beat your cocky ass!" Jin cried out, returning
back to his seat to Taehyung and Hoseok, snickering their asses off.

"You wanted my opinion, Sheepy, and you got it," Jeongguk shrugged, spooning more cereal
into his mouth.

"You're an asshole. I don't see how Taehyung stands you," Seokjin muttered, sinking into the
couch as Hoseok and Taehyung's laughter fill the room. "You traitors. Thought we were
friends."

"Correction. I'm an asshole in fancy font."

"I'm out," The oldest shot up to his feet, pressing hos fingers to the bridge of his nose. "I'm
outta here. Let's go Hoseok. I have a shift anyways in an hour."

"You guys!" Taehyung couldn't help the laughter bubbling out of him as Seokjin dragged
Hoseok with him to the door. "Come back hyung!" He wheezed, nearly doubling over before
he could stop them from leaving.

When the door shut, he turned around, bottom lip caught between his teeth as he tried to hold
back his laughter. His gaze met Jeongguk's in an instant, and soon enough he was consumed
by the sounds of his own laughter, and this other sound that reminded him of a squeaky, high-
pitched witch.

"I-Is that you? Oh my god!" Taehyung gasped for air, his lungs rattling in his chest as he
stumbled to the couch, holding onto it as he couldn't see shit.

"Are you being laughist to my laugh?" Jeongguk wheezed, his nose scrunched as a smile
stretched itself across his lips, exposing his two front teeth that reminded Taehyung of a
bunny.

"L-Laughist?"

"Like racist, but instead of race, it's laughter. So lemme ask that again. Are you being laughist
or something?" The younger squeaked before leaning against the counter, eyes squeezing
shut as he continued to laugh like some dying hyena.

Eventually the two settled down, and they found themselves sitting on the couch— Jeongguk
with his cereal, and Taehyung with the blankets hugging him. Neither one of them said a
thing, the only sound being the occasional munch from Jeongguk.

"So, did you mean it?" Taehyung asked, glancing over at Jeongguk beneath his blankets.
Jeongguk was mid-drink, his eyebrows bunched together as he stopped himself from drinking
the milk.

"Mean what? That you're a good match for Jimin." The older nodded, biting his lip, feeling
the familiar warmth flush across his cheeks.

"How old are you? Ten?"

"What? No. I'm just... I wanna know if you meant it," Taehyung said, frowning slightly. "And
I'm turning eighteen in December, fool." The younger remained silent, twirling his spoon in
his bowl.

"We're pals, Specs. 'Course I meant it," Jeongguk finally said, chuckling a little. "I totally
picture you and Park k-i-s-s-i-n-g up in some random tree. If possible, I'd gladly recommend
you a tree."

"I literally hate you. Delete thyself," He snorted, nudging Jeongguk's side with his elbow.
"But can I just say something?"

"Like what? Are you gonna enlighten me now?"

"Let me speak, you behemoth," Taehyung snapped. "It's just... you know. That, you know. If
you know, you know." Jeongguk raised an eyebrow at him, amusement twinkling in his eyes.

"Know what? Use your big boy words," Jeongguk mimicked him, purposefully lowering his
voice to sound like him (which he didn't). Taehyung rolled his eyes.

"Can you like teach me... how to go on a date?"

"You really had to ask?" The younger chuckled, leaning forward and setting his finished bowl
on the table. "That was gonna be my next lesson, Specs."

"Oh really? You were gonna ask me out?" Taehyung asked, teasing him a little. It was
Jeongguk's turn to roll his eyes. Before Taehyung could speak up and further make fun of
him, Jeongguk got up.

"Hey, where are you going?" He asked, watching as Jeongguk rummaged around for
something in the cabinets. It took some time until he finally found what he needed, and
before he came back he snatched a sharpie off the table.

"Before we go on a fake date, we must make some special agreement that must be
documented on a legal piece of paper," Jeongguk declared, sitting down on the floor by the
coffee table.
"You mean a freaking napkin?"

"Don't hurt its feelings Specs. If it wants to be a legal paper, it can be a legal paper. Don't
crush its dreams," He scooted over to let Taehyung sit next to him as he scribbled something
on the napkin.

It was awful penmanship; what did he expect? The sharpie didn't really work, and it was
bleeding into the napkin, and Jeongguk kept getting sharpie on his 'godly volleyball fingers'
every time he tried to fix his writing.

Finally, after some cursing and arguments about who should write it down, they were able to
write a single sentence that was actually legible.

DO NOT MEAN ANYTHING CUZ ISSA FAKE DATE. SIGN NAMES HERE.

"That's the best you can write, Jeon?" Taehyung snorted, finding it absolutely ridiculous how
proud the younger was of his craftsmanship. He nodded, signing the thing with his initials
'JJK' and handed it to him.

"I'm always doing my best, now sign it coward," Jeongguk said, smirking at the older who
snatched it right from him. He uncapped the pen and neatly printed his name beneath
Jeongguk's.

"So that's it? Now what," The older asked, watching Jeongguk take the 'legal document' and
brought closer to his side, proceeding to set his hand down on it and the other on his heart.

"I, Jeon Jeongguk," He started, biting back the smile on his lips when Taehyung let out a
snort. "Promise to not mean anything when I take Kim Taehyung on our fake date. If I do, I
understand the consequences that results in feeling human emotion."

"You are so ridiculous. I hate you."

"Come on. Say it with me. Saaaaay it," He nudged the 'legal document' next to Taehyung.
Eventually, the older gave in, setting his palm on the napkin and the other right on his heart,
attention fixating on Jeongguk.

"I, Kim Taehyung, promise not to mean anything when Jeon Jeongguk takes me out on our
fake date. If I do, which I won't, I understand the consequences that results in feeling human
emotions. There."

"Alright," Jeongguk slid his hands over one another, rubbing them together, lips slacked into
a half-grin. "Now we are legally binded to this document, and we can't break the rules, or
else that happens."

"I have absolutely no idea where this is leading up to," Taehyung admitted, though he
couldn't deny the fact that he was somewhat enjoying this. This side of Jeongguk was
something else.

"And that's good because I have something to ask you," He said, folding his hands over his
lap. At that, Taehyung raised a questioning eyebrow at him.
"Specs."

"Jeon Jeongasshole?"

"Will you go on a fake date with me?" Jeongguk asked, and when Taehyung said nothing, he
frowned, shoulders slumping. "The entire point of this is for you to say yes, you dumbfuck."

"Yes," Taehyung eventually murmured, head tilted a little to the side, the gentlest of smiles
tickling his lips. "I'd like to go on a fake date with you."

"Great," The younger's voice drifted off, his adam's apple bobbing in his throat. "It's settled."

"I'm gonna take you on the fakest date ever."

♡♡♡

"Sometimes I wonder why he chose volleyball," Yugyeom said, the two of them waiting in
line to hit. "Like he could've been a competitive stripper, and I wouldn't even question it."

"A competitive stripper?" Jeongguk frowned, spinning the ball in his hands. "Are you talking
about me, or Jimin?"

"Park. Like it's very unchristian of him to wear those shorts so high. Kinda reminds me of
James Charles," The younger said, jutting his chin to where Jimin was focused on fixing his
form.

"Why? He doesn't go for straight guys, and he isn't fully gay. Jimin doesn't have a label on
himself," He said, not so sure where this conversation was going.

"No, I'm saying this. The fuck his dick go? Like he wears those short ass shorts, and his dick
is like non existent," Yugyeom exclaimed, keeping his voice down when he realized he might
have scarred the freshman behind them.

"That's what you're concerned with?" Jeongguk sighed, absolutely not amused as Yugyeom
nodded.

"Why don't you ask him yourself? 'Yo, Jimin where that dick of yours go?'"

At that, the younger shoved him playfully, "Shut the fuck up, Cap." Jeongguk snorted, about
to add something until he realized San was waving at him for his attention. He held a finger
up at Yugyeom and went over to the libero.

"What's up?" He asked, wondering why San wasn't practicing when he should be. He was
only a third year, and if he wanted to keep his spot, he had to work on his receiving.

"There's somebody named Jung Hoseok waiting for you in the foyer. Coach told me to tell
you to deal with it, or else he's gonna make us run laps the next time you bring a hook-up
over," San explained.

"A hook-up? No, he's just a good friend of my pal's," Jeongguk said, wondering in the back
of his mind why Hoseok was here. "Go back. I'll deal with it," He patted the younger's
shoulder and walked over toward the foyer.

Jung Hoseok wasn't a stranger to Jeongguk. They knew each other enough to not be
strangers, but not that well to consider one another good friends.

Once upon a time, Hoseok was on the volleyball team since freshman year. It was long before
Specs transferred into the school in their second year, and when he met Kim Seokjin.
Jeongguk, at the time, surprisingly wasn't the captain— Hoseok was.

Hoseok was their ace for some time, and Jeongguk admired the guy. He was one of the best
captains to ever lead, making sure everybody was in good spirits and praising their
teamwork. Whenever somebody made a mistake, he corrected them with this scary coolness,
but he always encouraged them.

Not only was he the captain, he was dating Min Yoongi— one of Jeongguk's friends.

They were a close couple for a year before Hoseok shattered his kneecap during the finals.
After his accident, the two spent less and less time together, and it wasn't very long until
Hoseok found Seokjin to fill the gap he made between Yoongi and him.

Then Jeongguk never saw him again.

He no longer went to parties Namjoon held at his house. He stopped joining them to watch
Yoongi's waterpolo games, never stayed over at the end to drink with them. He simply gave
the captain title to him, said goodbye, and left.

Jeongguk didn't disrespect his decision at all. He promised to pick up where Hoseok left and
went along as if nothing ever happened.

"Glad to see you're still funny," Hoseok said when he noticed him. His hands were tucked
into his blazer pockets, the smile he wore rivaling the sun. Just like he remembered him but
older, taller, even.

"What brings you back home hyung?" Jeongguk grinned, holding the volleyball beneath his
arm as he stopped in front of the older. "Thinking about joining the team again?"

"I would if I could, Jeon," The corners of his smile faltered a little, the sadness of nostalgia
dancing in his bright eyes. Jeongguk simply nodded, dropping the topic.
"I'm here 'cause we need to talk about Taehyung."

"Oh," The younger straightened his posture. Brows furrowing, he asked, "Why? Is something
wrong?"

"No, he's fine. You know him, he's studying away," He chuckled, which honestly Jeongguk
agreed with. "Anyways, I don't usually do confrontations like this, but Taehyung's been
through a lot."

"So I've heard," Jeongguk swallowed, wondering where this was going. Hoseok hummed.

"And I know Park Jimin. He's not a good guy," He continued, crossing his arms over his
chest. "I taught him how to set every day for almost two years, and witnessed his every
tantrum and bratty attitude. He talked shit on teammates. Screamed at my face."

That Jeongguk didn't know.

"However, that's the past. We're almost adults now," Hoseok cut him off before he could
counter him. "I believe Park could have changed, and since you two are friends, you probably
know more than I do. And since Taehyung is my friend, I want to know."

"Know what?" Jeongguk asked, pressing his lips together, mouth running dry.

"Is Park an actual good guy for Taehyung?

"You're a really nice kid, Jeongguk. You got respect that Park doesn't have. If you're lying,
and you let Taehyung get hurt, I won't forgive you ever." The smile on Hoseok's face
contrasted against his words, and honestly it felt like an indirect punch to the gut.

God, he forgot how intimidating Jung Hoseok was.

"I-I won't let him get hurt. I swear, Jimin's a good guy. Taehyung's just what he needs," The
younger said, struggling to talk as a knot tangled itself in his throat.

"But is he what Taehyung needs?"

"W-What?" Jeongguk frowned, not expecting that.

"You do know how good of a person Tae is, right? He's one of those rare, genuine kinds of
selfless people with too much love in them that it could kill 'em," Hoseok explained. "Right?"

He wasn't wrong.

"Hyung, I need to go back to practice. We could talk about this later." At that, Hoseok sighed
softly, shaking his head.

"I was just hoping you know that Taehyung's worth more than he sells himself as, kid. But if
you say so, okay. I trust you like I did with my position," Hoseok said, keeping his tone low.
"But please, don't let Park Jimin hurt my best friend. He's been through a lot."
"Trust me when I say Taehyung doesn't need anymore heartbreak."

"Yeah, of course. You can trust me," Jeongguk murmured, watching as Hoseok reached
forward and patted his shoulder, smiling at him like he did all those years ago.

"Great. It was nice coming back after so long, seeing you do well. Keep up the good work,"
Hoseok gave him a thumb-up before turning around and exiting past the gym doors out into
the open.

Jeongguk gulped, unsure of what to think. All he knew was that Jimin and Taehyung were
going to date, and like he promised, Jeongguk was going to help.

That was the whole point of this entire arrangement anyways. Jeongguk was going to benefit
from this, and so was Taehyung for two entirely different reasons. He wasn't one to back out
— he never did, but for some reason, Hoseok's words got him.

Would they work? Would Jimin actually fall for him? Would Taehyung be okay? His mind
built different scenarios before tearing them back down, picking them apart until his head
decided to develop another idea.

He shouldn't be worrying since Jimin knew what he was doing since out of the two of them
he had the most experience, but that was what scared him. Who knew what he would do to a
guy like Taehyung, who was absolutely clueless about everything.

Fuck, he didn't even know how to kiss a person, much less have sex with another guy.

It only made sense that Jeongguk would step in and teach him these things the right way.
Sure, he was just like Jimin when it came to experience, but he wasn't going to let Taehyung
turn into the second version of Jimin (god forbid that happens).

With all honesty, he shouldn't be caring this much, but it was Jimin and his career, and the
fact that Taehyung was too nice for people like them to fuck with. If only he could figure
things out right away instead of letting shit fall apart, and if Jimin wasn't a little bitch, stuff
would be easier.

But that wasn't the case. He was awful at predicting the future (who wasn't?), Jimin was the
biggest bitch ever to exist, and he got an interesting, genuinely good person involved with
their fuckboy bullshit and his own fucked-up emotions.

This was supposed to be simple, not confuse the fuck out of him and complicate things even
more. At this point, 'not thinking' was already out the window.

Jeongguk sighed, running a hand down his face, returning back to practice. He ignored the
looks Yugyeom and San gave him as he fell back in line, head hanging as he replayed
Hoseok's words in his head.

But is he what Taehyung needs?"

He had to do this. This was supposed to be about his needs, not Taehyung's, but the longer he
let those words sit in his mind like a crushing weight about to snap apart every one of his
bones, he wasn't so sure what his intentions were anymore.

Snap out of it, Jeongguk exhaled through his nose, gaze meeting Jimin's as neared his turn.
The older flashed him a smile, but he looked the other way, unable to meet his stare properly.

Fuck, he was going to do this, because if he didn't, his life wouldn't be easy, and he needed
life to be easy, to finally make sense. But this could work— it could; it was possible.

If he could get Kim Taehyung to change his looks, then it probably wouldn't be hard to get
Jimin to change his personality, right?
 fake dates & the real deal

♡♡♡

Jimin and Taehyung were going to date, and like he promised, Jeongguk was going to help.

The two of them were in the living room, or well, Jeongguk placed a chair a good couple feet
away from his room and forced Taehyung to sit down on it while he searched for some old
clothes. The older asked why they weren't just going into his room, and Jeongguk shut him
up by throwing a pillow at his face.

It seemed to work because Specs didn't mention anything about their current situation after
that.

"For the first date, you gotta wear something nicer than that, Specs," Jeongguk said, gesturing
at the baggy sweatpants and the oversized jacket that practically ate up Taehyung's figure.

"The whole point is to show off how hot you are."

"Are you calling me hot, Jeon?" Taehyung teased, which immediately made his face all hot
and gross (yuck). Jeongguk merely blinked, his lips curling upward into a tight smile.

"I'm using hypotheticals, Specs," He clapped his hands together, fingers folding over one
another and cleared his throat. "Please don't warp my words into compliments, thanks."

"I mean you could give me a compliment. I wouldn't hate it completely," The older bit his lip,
earning a death glare from the younger.

"Stop."

"Stop what?" Was he teasing him?

"Stop that. Stop being a fuckboy. I'm supposed to be the fuckboy in this pal-ship," Jeongguk
scowled, not at all appreciating the way the older was snickering at him. "There's only room
for one of us."

"So what am I gonna be?" Taehyung asked, leaning back in his seat, arms crossed over his
chest. The younger raised an eyebrow at him like he was being stupid.

"A loyal bitch. That's who you are."

"Ouch," He heard the older's laughter follow him as he ventured back into his room. He
rolled his eyes, going to find the outfits he managed to dig from the pile of clothes stuffed in
his closet.

Jeongguk didn't get rid of his clothes back from the last three years of boarding school, which
he kinda regretted because his closet was full of unnecessary shit that couldn't fit his body.
He was skinny back then, and it took awhile for him to get his body into the amazing-ness it
was right now.

There was a good chance Taehyung could fit them. If his predictions were correct, Taehyung
was skinny beneath all those layers and probably had a smaller build. It would make sense,
and the most Jeongguk had seen his body frame was in his school uniform, but even his
blazer and jeans didn't fit him properly.

He came back out with all black, an outfit he guessed would look good on Specs. When he
returned, he saw the boy was on his phone, giggling as his thumbs danced over his screen.
The smile he wore crumbled around the edges as he leaned against the door, knowing that oh-
so familiar blush on Specs's cheeks.

It didn't take him long to realize who it was.

They were texting now, huh.

"Hey Specs?" Jeongguk cleared his throat, his lips pressed into a thin line. Taehyung's head
shot up, finally noticing that he was there, ready for him.

"You're really in the mood for flirting, hm,"

"Sorry," He mumbled, shutting his phone off and slipping it into his hoodie pocket. "My
attention is all yours, Jeon." He said, spreading his legs as he draped his arm over the chair,
which was quite the sight for Jeongguk.

He didn't expect that. "Alright," He blinked, trying to ignore how Taehyung was spread out
on the chair. "I have things I'd like you to try on. It's simple, and it's skintight. None of that
baggy stuff until you two have been dating for a bit."

"What? My clothes are offended you don't like them," Taehyung said, chuckling a little. He
pinched the material of his jacket, "This is mad at you."

"It's clothes, Specs. It doesn't have any feelings," Jeongguk retorted, handing the clothes out
for him to take. "I'd like you to get undressed right now."

"Did you just ask to me undress?"

"Yeah," Jeongguk shrugged like it was nothing. "C'mon. Clothes, off."

"Like in front of you?" The older's nose scrunched together. It took a moment for Jeongguk to
realize what he meant, and he did, hand flying up to the side of his neck, scratching the skin
awkwardly.
"I mean we're guys, so I wouldn't care," He said, knowing Taehyung was staring at him, but
he just couldn't bring himself to meet his gaze. "Feel free to strip however you want, but like,
not in a gay way."

"Oh? There's a gay way to strip now?" Specs snorted. Jeongguk swallowed, ears burning.

"Can I remind you that we both like dick?"

"No! Well yeah, I like some dick, but not exactly your dick. You don't like mine either so—
you know what I mean, here. Take these," He dumped them on the younger, grumbling. "Stop
being flirty, Specs. I'm not in the mood for flirty."

"I'm not being flirty," Taehyung let out a gentle laugh as he got up from the chair. "I'm just
letting out my inner fuckboy." He said, brushing past the younger.

"Well for my convenience please put it away?" Jeongguk asked, carding his fingers through
his raven locks. Taehyung stood by the entrance to his bedroom, eyebrow quirked upward.

"If you say so," He shrugged before shutting the door behind him, leaving Jeongguk alone.

"I've unleashed a monster," Jeongguk mumbled, sitting down on the side of the couch, arms
crossed over his chest.

He was right: he did unleash a monster.

Ever since Taehyung got that makeover, people swarmed them. Those kinky little shits,
wanting Taehyung to yell at them and get super turned on. Then they come to Jeongguk,
knowing Taehyung didn't do that type of stuff so it left it to him to finish what he started.

What type of dumbfuckery was that? Jeongguk didn't argue because it was a free fuck, but it
didn't feel like a full fuck. Hell, one time somebody moaned Taehyung's name instead of his.

It didn't feel right, but he supposed this was what they did to him. However, Jeongguk didn't
want this for Taehyung— the point of this makeover was for Jimin, not for the horny little
bastards that attended this boarding school.

So, he tried to end those things behind Taehyung's back.

Sometimes he overheard them talking about Specs in gross, sexual ways, thinking like they
knew him now even though they forgot who he was for years. A part of him would snap if
heard another 'dick me down Tae' in public, so he did what every pal would do for their pal.

He told them to fuck off! Told them not to touch Taehyung, not to think of Taehyung, and if
he saw them even try to live their dumb kinky fantasies by approaching Taehyung, he would
gratefully spike a volleyball to their face!

Usually did the trick. Somewhat lowered the amount of hookups he got recently, but it was
worth it.
"Jeon," He snapped out of his thoughts, giving his full attention to Specs. He glanced upward,
seeing Taehyung hiding behind the door. "I-I don't know."

"What? Speak up Specs," Jeongguk said, resting his hands on his knees. "Can't hear you."
Was this a rare occurrence? Specs turned shy for him again?

"I-I just. I don't know if y-you'd like it," Taehyung murmured, drumming his fingers against
the wall. "It's n-new. Like really, really new, and it's tight."

"Promise I won't judge you, Specs. In our contract, it has a strict no judging policy," The
younger gestured for him to come out. Taehyung scowled, raising an eyebrow at him.

"All I saw was 'don't mean anything cuz issa fake date' you idiot," He chuckled softly, the
frown around his lips shifting into one of his shy smiles. Jeongguk shrugged, knowing that it
was true, but a part of him wanted Specs to be comfortable around him.

"M'serious, Specs. I won't judge you when you come out," He said. Taehyung gulped and
nodded once, hiding behind the door for a couple of moments. The younger waited, hoping
he wasn't changing back into his old clothes.

Just as he was about to open his mouth, Taehyung walked toward him, eyes squeezed shut
and hands held out in front of him to make sure he won't run anything down. When he was
coming too close, he shot up to his feet, Jeongguk's hands gently curling around his wrists,
steadying him.

"I'm keeping my eyes closed," Taehyung squeaked, to which Jeongguk could barely reply to
because he himself was busy staring.

Taehyung was indeed not at all smaller than him. This entire time he was hiding broad
shoulders, a tiny waist accentuated by the black belt Jeongguk gave him, and long as fuck
legs exposed in his black skinny jeans which hugged his figure. His thighs, my god, he had
massive thighs that were clearly strained against the material.

And an ass? Oh my god he had an ass. He glanced around him, curious, and oh. Kim
Taehyung was hiding this from people, and for what? Well, it was good. Good since
Jeongguk was the first to make this grand scientific discovery.

Jeongguk couldn't think after that. Literally no thoughts except 'what the fuck' repeated in his
mind. It made things worse that Taehyung was wearing his clothes, and fuck, he made them
look good.

Okay, this was inappropriate; he knew he shouldn't focus on Taehyung's body. That was a low
move, and he knew Specs probably didn't want to be viewed as some sex object— he was
more than that. Fuck, It shouldn't have crossed his mind in the first place.

Maybe he should be the one spiking a ball to his face.

"I-Is it bad? I-I can go change?" Taehyung said, but Jeongguk stayed silent. The older slowly
peeled his eyes open, suddenly realizing their position. His adam's apple bobbed nervously in
his neck seeing that Jeongguk was towering over him.

"Not at all Specs," Jeongguk cleared his throat, pulling his eyes away from his body and back
to his questioning stare. "You look great."

"Really? Don't lie," He whispered, lowering his arms to his side. Jeongguk carefully
squeezed his tiny wrists, shaking his head.

"Nah I'm not lying. You were lying though. You were hiding this from everyone," He teased,
watching as the older rolled his eyes at him.

"I wasn't lying. I just... didn't love my face, so it made sense I didn't love my body too,"
Taehyung shrugged like it was nothing, like hating on himself was just another thing he did
often.

Jeongguk didn't like that. "Well I don't know if my opinion is valid, but if you want my
completely unbiased review, I think you look really good. You should give yourself some
more credit."

"Didn't think I was gonna get a Jeon Jeongguk review," He chuckled softly, his gaze focused
solely on him, which made Jeongguk shift awkwardly beneath his gaze. "But thanks. I
appreciate it."

"Confidence is key, Specs. I'm teaching you how to be a top, so you gotta act like one,"
Jeongguk joked, realizing he was still touching the older. He gulped, slowly retracting his
hands away from his wrists, slipping them back into his jean pockets.

"Oh really now? Do they have some specific way to talk?" Taehyung asked, lifting an
eyebrow lazily at the younger.

"Well I guess. You can give it a shot, but you might be wrong," Jeongguk shrugged, which
only made him snort.

"I'm gonna be so dominant, you're gonna be begging me to fuck you," The older suddenly
took a swift step closer, catching Jeongguk completely off guard. The backs of his legs
brushed against the side of the couch, nearly causing him to topple over.

"One, tops don't ever talk like that," He said, throat swelling shut as his gaze met Taehyung's
narrowed eyes, mind spasming when the tip of Tae's tongue flicked painfully slow across his
own bottom lip.

"Two, it's Jimin you wanna fuck, Specs, but I guess m'flattered?"

"I was joking, Jeon," Taehyung took a step back, unaware that he snatched the air out of
Jeongguk's lungs by pulling that little trick. Not cool.

"W-what did I say about turning off your inner fuckboy around me! There's only room for
one of us," Jeongguk grumbled, not at all appreciating the way his neck was practically on
fire (hopefully he didn't notice).
"Whatever Jeon," The older's lips slacked into a lazy smirk, one that made Jeongguk roll his
eyes. "Now, what are we doing on our fake date today?"

"Oh, yes, our fake date," He said, scratching the side of his neck. "Well, you see, it's going to
be simple. A basic first date that anyone, even you, can master."

"Great then. Know that I pass just about everything," Taehyung said, grabbing the jean jacket
Jeongguk left for him on the couch and sliding it over his arms.

"Sure you do. Who has the 4.5 GPA here?" Jeongguk snorted, pulling himself back together
as Taehyung elbowed his side, bringing a smile to both of their faces.

"I'll consider if you pass since I'm way more experienced than you."

"Really? Since you're so experienced, can I ask how many relationships you've had before?"
Taehyung asked as the two of them exited from their dorm, walking side by side. Jeongguk
didn't quite expect that question as he shoved his keys into his pocket.

"Like real ones?" The older nodded. "Like five, four? Didn't have a lot of girlfriends or
boyfriends. Never really had the time for them."

"But you have time for me?"

"What?" Jeongguk stopped by the elevator, eyebrows furrowed. Taehyung simply shrugged,
flashing one of those stupid smirks at him.

"I'm flattered, Jeon, that you have time for me," Taehyung said, softening his tone. "You're
the first to ever do that, really."

"Shut up," The younger muttered, ears blistering hot as he heard the older chuckle once they
slipped into the elevator. For the rest of them, neither one of them speaks for the entire way
down.

♡♡♡

"So, first rule of first dates," Jeongguk said, the two of them walking downtown together. It
was busy at night. Street performers busked, the dangling lights above the small strip
twinkled like stars that fell too close to the ground, people strolled about, and stores either
smelled strongly of good food, or sweet candles.
"What are they?" Taehyung asked, staying close to his side, which the younger seemed to
notice, but he didn't put much thought into it.

"You gotta be on time, put your damn phone away," He gestured at the phone Taehyung was
holding onto. He quickly tucked it away.

"Give them your entire attention, ask questions yada yada. Be yourself."

"Is there anything else?" The older followed the younger into this small aesthetic shop with
people inside. Jeongguk nodded, holding the door open for him, his other hand gently settling
on the small of his back.

"We'll talk about it when we get inside. I have a feeling you'll like this," Jeongguk winked at
him and walked off to the front desk, leaving Taehyung awkwardly standing around as he
surveyed the entire room.

It was cozy in there, the entire room a mixture of soft neutral whites and grays and wooden
floors. The venue looked straight out of an aesthetic pinterest post.

The older noticed the people at the tables were all mostly couples ranging from early twenties
to older sixties. It took him some time to realize that they were drinking wine and eating
snacks, and on the tables were small art projects.

Some were sitting together, painting on small square canvases while following Bob Ross
tutorials, and others were chatting quietly while they made cute little couples bracelets.

Taehyung blinked several times, completely taken a back by the effort Jeongguk put into this
— it was just a fake date, yet it felt... real.

"You really took me to a couples' art session?" He murmured, pulling the younger's sleeve so
he could hear him over the gentle violin and piano music playing in the background.

"Effort is a big thing in dates, Specs. Listen when I say it makes things more memorable,"
Jeongguk replied, his hand settling on that same spot as he guided him to a table in the back
next to a giant window overlooking downtown.

"This will be the best fake date you've ever had."

Jeongguk even held the chair out for him! The older eyed the boy skeptically, shocked to see
Jeongguk was capable of doing something as thoughtful as this.

Maybe he wasn't just an asshole who thought with dick. Maybe somewhere in him there was
a heart.

A heart Taehyung didn't know existed until now.

"Because we are severely underaged, they are giving us sparkling water," Jeongguk explained
to him when a waitress came by, filling their wine glasses with a fizzy clear drink. "Classy,
right?"
"Didn't think you'd do this for me," Taehyung said in a matter of fact way, taking a sip of his
drink as a lady came by to give them material for bracelets first.

"It's a fake date, Specs. Gotta teach you right," He teased, slightly bowing his head for the
woman before she left. "Now, listen. When you're together like this, it might be awkward."

"Since we are pals, we have jumped that hurdle."

"So are you saying we should get to know eachother right now?" Taehyung asked, eyeing the
small box of beads the woman gave him. He couldn't help but smile when he noticed the
word beads, knowing what he was going to make.

"Yeah. Forget the personal rule. The point of dates is to become personal so you can see if
they're the one for you," Jeongguk explained, already starting on his bracelet.

"We're not dating to fuck Specs," He said, giving him stupid finger guns. "We're fake dating
to marry."

What a dork.

"Alrightie then. When did you realize you fell in love with volleyball?" He noticed the
younger froze, but before he could apologize, he began to chuckle.

"Damn, you're really cutting to the point, aren't you Specs?" The younger glanced up at him,
smiling for a moment before he returned to making his bracelet.

"You don't have to answer," Taehyung said, putting together a blue bracelet for Jeongguk,
noticing the other couples were doing something like that. Not that they were a couple
though. They were pals.

"Well I fell in love with volleyball because of my mom," Jeongguk said, catching him off
guard, but Taehyung listened anyways. "My mom coached my sister's team, and since I was
joined to her hip, I learned the game and loved it like she did."

"That's really cute," The older murmured, finding himself smiling while he threaded a cute
little star bead on the bracelet. "Did your dad approve of it?"

"He wanted me to play a manly sport like basketball or soccer," Jeongguk shrugged, and he
noticed how his eyes twinkled when he seemed to speak about his mom, "but my mom told
him volleyball was just as worth it as any other dream."

"She always fought for me, even if I fucked up."

"She sounds really cool," Taehyung murmured, sneaking a glance at Jeongguk to make sure
he didn't overstep. Instead, he noticed that he was too focused on his bracelet.

It was cute, seeing his brows scrunch together when he couldn't slide a bead on. When he
dropped a bead, he would curse lightly and murmur dumb death threats to the beads like they
were actual people.
"How was it living with two dads?" Jeongguk asked, swearing softly when a bead fell from
his hands. At that, Taehyung's smile grew wider.

"It's something," He said after thinking about it. "My dads' are used to all the stares they get,
but they'd rather get stared at then have to be apart just 'cause some people aren't comfortable
with a black and an asian man being married and having a family."

"I could see where you get your badass-ness from," Jeongguk teased, which made the older
roll his eyes.

"Warren and Siwon are the best parents I could have ever asked for," Taehyung murmured,
chest aching the more he thought about his parents.

"Whenever I had scary nightmares, they'd let me sleep in their room and put on a movie. I
was a sucker for Disney princesses. My dads told me I used to wear all the small dresses and
little heels."

"So you were a twink from the start?"

"Shut up," He grinned, flicking a bead at him, which the younger deflected easily. "Don't
bully me."

"Oh I could bully you anyday, Specs."

"Ouch. Now you're just hurting my feelings."

"If it makes you feel any better, when I was a kid, I grew up with four sisters," Jeongguk said,
missing the way Taehyung's features ease when he realized the younger was getting too
personal, but he said nothing, staring at the way Jeongguk focused on his art projecy.

"I was the middle. Got an older one, and the three are all young," He chuckled, probably at a
memory, which Taehyung thought was sweet. "They liked to put makeup on me and paint my
nails. I let them do it even if I looked like a clown because they spent hours making sure I
looked pretty."

"I couldn't bring myself to tell them it looked like shit, so I encouraged them and helped them
learn."

"Didn't quite pinpoint you as the sweet older brother figure," Taehyung teased, tapping
Jeongguk's wrist gently. The younger glanced up, wondering what he wanted until he realized
he was waiting for his wrist.

He held his wrist out, not meeting Taehyung's gaze, "And nobody will ever know about that,
okay?"

"Your secret's safe with me, Jeon," He murmured, his fingers brushing against the soft skin
on his wrist as he fit the string around it. When he was satisifed, he took it back to add the
letter beads.
"And I like being the only one who knows this side of you," Taehyung admitted without
thinking. He knew it was probably stupid, but when he looked up, he noticed the younger's
ears were a shade of pink.

"It kinda feels like a special privilege."

"I have no idea if you're complimenting me or just adding to my ego," Jeongguk grumbled,
earning the sweetest of laughs from the older as he gently nudged his foot beneath the table.

"Take the compliment," Taehyung murmured, not meeting his eyes but he knew Jeongguk
was staring. He expected some sort of flutter, or at least a cliche epiphany, but as he sat there,
he felt nothing except calmness. Nothing except a steady heart.

When they finished their bracelets, they pushed their chairs together to the next activity.
Before they did, Taehyung revealed his bracelet to the younger with the biggest grin ever.

"Look! It's a whole bunch of pretty blue colors! All you wear is black, so I made this," He
said, helping him put on the bracelets with an assortment of blue beads and pretty white stars.

"Do the beads really say Ugly Dick JK?" Jeongguk snorted, showing him the little letterings
he chose ever so thoughtfully. Taehyung nodded, unable to hold back his laugh.

"What did you make for me?" He asked, letting the older put on a red beaded bracelet with
little purple star charms on it. He twisted it over to see the letters, lips aching from the smile
he wore.

"Specs? Why did I expect that?"

"You're welcome," Jeongguk nudged his side and reached for the paintbrush waiting for him.

They didn't really have a full conversation while they painted. It was more of the occasional
insult or curse when Jeongguk messed up. Taehyung watched the younger from the corner of
his eye while he painted, noticing how he held the paintbrush carefully, the tip of his tongue
stuck between his lips as he painted on each detail.

It was a nice silence. The violin and piano in the back, the soft chatter of couples around
them, and the way Jeongguk would hum a song when he was working.

Taehyung liked it, if this was how a date felt. If this was how dates were, he wouldn't want to
leave.

But they eventually had to. He signed his name on the corner, proud of the abstract face he
drew. The younger, on the otherhand, seemed to have drawn the sky outside the window. It
was perfect, and with all honesty, Taehyung didn't expect him to be so good at art.

Jeongguk took some time to scribble his signature on the back, and once they were done, the
owner of the place asked to frame their art and take a picture of them like they did with all
their couples.
"Stand closer to your boyfriend," She said sweetly, holding the polaroid up. Taehyung and
Jeongguk exchanged knowing looks, but before he could speak up, Jeongguk wrapped his
arm around his waist, pulling him close.

"We gotta act the part. Remember that Specs," He whispered near his ear, gaze directly on the
camera. Taehyung nodded dumbly, smiling when the lady took their picture.

Before they left, they watched her hang them up on the wall with hundreds of other couples'
artwork and polaroids. They thanked her and bowed, but as he turned to go, the younger
stayed.

Jeongguk stood by their work for a little longer, staring at their paintings. Taehyung's
eyebrows furrowed together as he tugged his hoodie sleeve.

"We really do look a couple," Jeongguk murmured, his words leaving the younger confused.
He simply gave him a crooked smile and went on his way with Taehyung following behind
him.

♡♡♡

"So, how did you like this date?" Jeongguk asked, taking a sip of the banana milk he bought
for the both of them as the two took a stroll around the park. They decided to go there instead
of an actual restaurant, wanting to appreciate the weather.

"I enjoyed the painting a lot. I might go back there with Seokjin and Hoseok honestly,"
Taehyung said, popping a chip into his mouth. "I also liked the bracelets. You outdid
yourself."

"Well I couldn't let your first date go to shit, Specs. Did you think I was gonna scar you, or
something?" He snorted, which earned a smile from the older.

"You kinda already did when we first moved in together," Taehyung said in a matter of fact
tone. "I'll never stop calling you Ugly-Dicked Jeongguk."

"God, don't remind me. It's branded in my mind and on my bracelet," He chuckled, showing
him the blue beads that decorated his wrist. Little did Taehyung know was the fact that he
treasured it; there was no way he was going to remove it.
"But it's the truth. You do have an ugly dick."

"So do you. Just saying. Not like I've seen it lol."

"Did you just say 'lol' outloud?" Taehyung asked, eyebrows raised on his features already
consumed by the shadows.

"No," Jeongguk snorted, slightly thankful it was getting dark so the older wouldn't notice
how red his ears got.

They walked along the path, growing silent as the sun fell between the thick clouds, the
golden day slipping into darkness. It was cool, surprisingly, and the lamps around them were
illuminating a hazy yellow. The sound of cars echoed throughout the empty park, and among
the trees, the sky scrapers and buildings peeked from behind them.

"Tell me something about you Specs," Jeongguk blurted out of nowhere, and half expected
the older to clown him, but instead Taehyung sighed.

"Like facts about myself?" The younger nodded. He merely hummed, drumming his fingers
against his banana milk carton.

"I don't know? I like reading webtoons. Especially those feel good ones. The ones where the
lovers take forever to realize they love one another really make me frustrated, but it feels
great when they finally get together," Taehyung said, slowing his walking pace down.

"I like movies and video games? I wanna play animal crossing, but I haven't gotten the
chance. I like food. Lots of food. I like art too. Oh god, this is weird," The older chuckled
awkwardly.

"Why?" Jeongguk asked, throwing away his finished food in a nearby trash along with
Taehyung's. "To make you feel less weird, I can tell you some things about me."

"Really?" He murmured, eyebrows easing on his features. Jeongguk nodded. "Really."

"I also like reading webtoons, but I prefer those horror ones like Bastard and Killing Stalking.
Now those were good," He said, nudging Taehyung's side to get the older to smile. "I like
action movies, but I guess since I grew up with girls I like romance ones."

"Did you get this idea off of a romance movie?" Taehyung teased, which brought a stupid
smile to Jeongguk's lips, one he couldn't control.

"No. You really have no faith in me, Specs. I can be romantic if I want to," Jeongguk
murmured, flicking the older's shoulder. "I'm super romantic."

"And I'm super straight."

"Hey, I don't appreciate the insult," He said, pretending to be offended, though he just
couldn't when his damn lips kept on smiling against his own will. "Why don't you believe
me?"
"Is it because I haven't made a move on you?"

"Wait what? No," Taehyung snorted, the laughter that slipped past his lips uneasy. "No not at
all."

"Are you waiting for me to make a move on you Specs? Show you my technique?" Jeongguk
wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at the older.

"God no. Ew stop, your eyebrows can not physically move like that," He chuckled, gently
punching the younger's side, who was laughing on his own.

"Well if you insist." Jeongguk said, enjoying the way the younger kept hitting his arm to stop.

"I did not insist—oh hi there," Taehyung's voice fell into a whisper as the two stopped in their
tracks. He glanced down slowly to see their hands intertwined.

Jeongguk's breath stilled in his chest as he eyed the older, waiting for a response to pull his
hand away. It was weird, and he honestly felt like a middle school student holding hands with
their crush (not that he was his crush). Jeongguk wasn't used to all this crap; he didn't even
know how to feel.

But holy fucking shit they were holding hands!

Taehyung's hand was bigger than his, and it was somehow warm to the touch. It was weird,
since his entire palm engulfed his, and his fingers were much longer, much softer against his
calloused skin.

"Why are we holding hands?" Taehyung swallowed, tilting his head upward to meet his gaze.

"You said you were waiting for me to make a move so I did, idiot," Jeongguk bit his lip,
awkwardly swinging their hands between them.

"So bam, a surprise. I made a move."

They continued to walk along the lake, fingers intertwined and gazes averted anywhere but at
each other. Neither one of them said a thing, and with all honesty, Jeongguk was debating to
pull his hand away at this point. Taehyung's hand was practically limp in his grasp.

But before he could, the older squeezed his hand, catching him off guard.

"I want to thank you," Taehyung murmured, his voice so soft it nearly blended into the
sounds of the city at night. Jeongguk swallowed, unsure what to do with his hand.

"Thank me for what?" He whispered, focusing his attention straight ahead. "I did nothing."

"Don't say that," The older chuckled, gently yanking his hand. "You made me pretty."

"But you were already pretty." Oh shit.

"Oh? Oh," Taehyung said, his tone softening. "I didn't know you thought that."
"I-I mean that I didn't have to do much, or well, Jihyo didn't. You just didn't give yourself
enough credit," Jeongguk admitted, his other hand clutching the side of his neck, fingers
scratching at the skin.

"Well I'm saying thanks for helping me out with these things. You're a really good pal, you
know."

"Yeah. I appreciate our pal-ship," He swallowed, nodding along. The two of them came to a
stop by the bridge. They stood near the railing, overlooking the man-made lake that glittered
beneath the moonlight.

"You know, I didn't have a lot of friends. The people here didn't give me a chance when I
transfered," Taehyung murmured, staring off at the black water. "I was lucky to find Hoseok
and Jin, but people were so cruel, saying they only hung out with me because they pitied me."

"I went home to my dads every weekend, crying my eyes out and telling them I wanted to
transfer out."

"I didn't know that, Specs," Jeongguk whispered, a knot tying itself in his throat as he stole a
glance at the older, noticing how the moonlight made him look just as breathtaking— fuck.

This was supposed to be a fake date. He signed a contract. What was he even thinking?

"Things are different now," Taehyung cleared his throat. "And it means a lot you're showing
me these things. It's a nice experience, and I found a pal out of it."

"I guess I did too," Jeongguk said quietly, ignoring the way Taehyung kept himself from
telling him something personal. "I had fun tonight, Specs. More than I did in a while."

"Really? You did?" The younger nodded, tugging their hands gently so now the older was
facing him.

"Yeah. I'll only tell you this once. Don't let it get to your head, Specs," He pulled himself
together, cramming his lips into one of his trademark smirks.

"I won't," The older grinned up at him, his free hand tucking aside his blue hair behind his
ear. "Can I ask you something, Jeon?"

"Sure. Hit me with anything."

"How do dates end?" Oh, he didn't expect that.

"Well," Jeongguk said, trying to get into teaching mode, not wanting his stupid emotions or
whatever to get into his head. "If it didn't go well, you say goodbye. If you think it did go
well, maybe it'll end in a kiss. It depends on the person."

"Really?" Taehyung asked, which Jeongguk nodded. "So if I liked the date, I could kiss
them?"
"Yeah. Our date's for practice so I don't care what you do," He shrugged. "I'm fine with just
going home unless you wanna go do—,"

"—Can I kiss you?"

"W-What?" Jeongguk's eyes widened, his entire stomach dropping. He gulped, blinking
rapidly as his gaze flitted between Taehyung's features to their fucking hands. "I-I didn't
know you liked the date."

"You said yourself this was for practice." Right. The younger swallowed, trying to calm down
the way his heart literally spasmed in his chest. He didn't not expect any of this, yet here he
was, having to teach him how to kiss.

"You know what to do right? Like, please tilt your head and not smush your face against me
because that would be pretty fucking weird," Jeongguk said, voice slightly cracking.

"I think I got it. I think I can kiss you," Taehyung said, and fuck, why was he so confident?
Who let him be this fucking confident?

"Alright. If you say so, Specs. Please don't hurt me."

"Shut up," The older closed the gap between them, unaware of how the younger's heart was
doing all kinds of twists and turns inside of his chest.

He stilled, eyes focusing on Taehyung's gentle features as he leaned forward, their interwined
hands between them. Jeongguk's brows furrowed, feeling Taehyung's breath warm against his
cheek, unsure why their close proximity made his heart palpitate.

Somewhere along the lines, everything silenced, the only sound he picked up being the
incessant throb of his heart and his uneven breath. He closed his eyes, feeling stupid for
doing so, but every time he tried to open them, he couldn't.

Specs better not fuck this up, he thought, brows drawn together as he waited, every second
painful until he felt Taehyung's lips fractions above his own.

"Fucking hell you kissed my teeth!"

"I'M SO SORRY FORGIVE ME!"

Jeongguk pulled away from him, their hands flying apart as he gently touched his bottom lip.
The older was covering his face, shoulders hunched together as he seemed to silently scream
to himself. Jeongguk, on the otherhand, wondered how the hell somebody could miss that
bad.

Even his first kiss wasn't that bad! At least he knew how to aim properly!

"I'm so so sorry! I-I didn't think I would miss your lips!" Taehyung shouted, hands trembling
over his features as Jeongguk stepped closer to him, the shock wearing off faster than he
expected.
"I swear your lips were closer!"

"Taehyung—,"

"—Frack I just loss half of my lip virginity and I failed. I failed! How do I miss— Oh HI
THERE!"

"Shut up," Jeongguk murmured, unsure what came over him to cup Taehyung's face into the
cusps of his palms. "Just shut up. Hurts me a bit that you weren't listening to me, Specs, but
please quiet down."

"I'm sorry. I'm probably the worst person you ever kissed," Taehyung cried out, his shaking
fingers curling around his wrists. "I'm the worst. I'm sorry I kissed your teeth and kinda
missed your mouth."

"You didn't just kinda. You kissed my chin."

"Can you please throw my body into the lake."

"Taehyung, just, calm down for a second," The younger murmured, gently shaking his face.
"Get your shit together and look at me."

"I'm looking," Taehyung squeaked, his big eyes directly staring at him. "Are you gonna throw
me into the lake?"

"No," Jeongguk whispered, gently running his thumb over the curve of Taehyung's bottom
lip. "When you want to kiss someone, calm down. Don't think about anything except them."

"Alright. Alright I'm thinking about you," The older breathed out, his breath slightly easing
back to normal.

"Good, now slightly part your lips." And he did. "I want you to relax, okay? Tilt your head
like that. Ok, now I want you to close your eyes for me, Specs."

"You sure you're not going to throw me into the lake? 'Cause I'd let you," Taehyung's lips
formed a small smile. He closed his eyes, which the younger was thankful for so he wouldn't
see him panicking.

"Specs please shut up," And when he did, Jeongguk inhaled slowly, telling him this was just
for practice. It meant nothing— they were nothing but pals, and that was all that was between
them. No feelings. No stupid complications.

There was no reason to be scared because this was supposed to be nothing, to mean
absolutely nothing. When he kissed him nothing was going to change between them, so why
was he freaking out so much?

This was just a kiss. He done this before.

It was just a kiss.

"Are you gonna—," He kissed him.
 right & wrong

♡♡♡

The walk back to the dorm was silent.

Jeongguk wasn't sure what he should say, or even how to bring up a conversation after
literally putting his mouth over Taehyung's and just kissed him. He wasn't thinking when he
grabbed the older's face, the coolness of his cheeks stinging his warm palms before he kissed
him.

He kissed Kim Taehyung. He kissed Specs.

And he didn't regret it.

It wasn't that bad, really. Taehyung wasn't horrible at it, though his first attempt at it would
forever be branded to his memory. Honestly, Jeongguk guessed he gave him some points for
trying despite the fact he bumped his lips against his teeth and chin.

But he felt bad— it was Taehyung's first kiss, and the guy ruined his shot at one of those
movie-esque kind of kisses, so Jeongguk kissed him. It was short, and it was simple. None of
that crazy shit, which for some reason felt oddly refreshing for the younger, who had kissed a
lot of people in his life time.

The two of them simply stood there, by the lake and under the moonlight, slowly kissing one
another in the center of an empty lake. Jeongguk made sure to be careful, holding Taehyung's
face like it was the most delicate thing in the world as their lips fitted perfectly against one
another's.

Kissing Specs was somehow different in a good way, and he wasn't so sure if he that tugging
in his heart meant he wanted to feel his lips again or that he was about to die.

"That was my first kiss," Taehyung suddenly blurted out when they entered the elevator, his
fingers still touching his lips.

"And you ended up bumping your lips against mine like bumper cars," Jeongguk muttered,
pressing the button to their floor.

"Could've given me a fucking concussion."

"And then you kissed me," The older whispered. "I think you kissed me."
"I kissed you," He leaned against the wall, hands tucked into his pants pockets, trying hard
not to let his eyes to wander down to Taehyung's ass.

"You kissed me," He repeated. Oops, his eyes slipped down for a second. Just for a safe
second. "Your lips went on my lips and moved."

"I think that's what kissing is?" Jeongguk lifted an eyebrow at the older. "What, Specs.
You've never seen kissing before?"

"N-No I have. I just didn't think— did you know we exchange 80 million bacteria when we
kiss? Like I have you in my mouth," Taehyung said softly.

"That sounds dirty, no pun intended," The younger snorted. "But Specs, if you wanted to suck
my—,"

"—No! I do not want to suck your dick now," He squeaked, hands flying to cover his face.
"Gosh darn your dick's in my mind again."

"I don't know if that's a good thing, or a bad thing, but all I'm going to say is that we're saving
the dick sucking for another time," Jeongguk said, pushing off the wall when the elevator
doors opened.

"Are you implying you're gonna suck my dick?"

"Do you want me to? I was gonna give you the honor but—."

"—W-what?" Taehyung nearly screamed.

"I'm kidding. If we're ever going to learn something sexual, we're sitting down with my
laptop, play hot gay porn, and we're gonna write a two page analysis on how to have sex,"
Jeongguk said, nonchalantly.

The older, on the otherhand, stared at him in horror. He couldn't help but laugh.

"Now you're implying I've n-never masturbated, aren't you?" Taehyung grumbled, still
covering his face behind his hands as he followed Jeongguk out of the elevator.

"Specs, you missed my lips and kissed my chin."

"That has no correlation to what I do with my dick!"

"Right, but if the two page analysis essay doesn't sound appealing we can have a competition
to see who jerks off faster if that floats your boat," The younger teased, hearing Taehyung
sputter some incoherent words beside him.

"There you can prove your skills to me."

"I hate you," Taehyung whispered, punching his shoulder. Jeongguk sneaked a glance at the
older, lips effortlessly curving upward realizing he was blushing a shade of bright red.
"No you don't. You hate me because I exposed you for not beating your meat," Jeongguk
shrugged, which earned another pained groan from the older.

"Shut up! We're in the hallway!" He grabbed the edge of his black hoodie sleeve, tugging it
gently. "And I do, just n-not often. It feels... awkward."

"You don't want me to talk about your dick, yet here you are, giving me extremely Rated R
details about your pleasure sessions."

"DON'T SAY THAT!" Taehyung roughly tugged his sweatshirt, face practically as red as
tomato. "And I'm not! You're twisting my words!"

"Geez, okay," Jeongguk couldn't fight the laughter that bubbled up his throat. "I believe you,
and I will proceed to shut up for your convenience."

"T-Thank you," The older murmured, tucking aside his blue hair behind his ear.

"So... have you ever fingered your own ass?"

The older almost screamed his name before he realized what time it was. So, the most mature
thing he did was to start chasing the younger down the hallway and threaten to snap his
fingers. Jeongguk started to sprint, laughter fluttering from his lips as he effortlessly out-ran
Taehyung.

"I will end your entire career right now!" Taehyung whisper-yelled at him, already out of
breath from running so much.

"I'm gonna snap your fracking fingers so you can't spike a volleyball ever in your life!"

"Wow so scary! I am so scared. Can you see the fear in my eyes?!" Jeongguk whisper-
shouted over his shoulder, nearly stumbling over his own feet from laughing so hard he could
barely even see.

He ran around a corner, holding onto the side of the wall to stable himself when they
approached their room. He clutched his stomach, practically wheezing when Taehyung wraps
his arms around his neck, almost taking him down.

"D-Did you seriously just try to throw me to the floor?" Jeongguk cried out, literal tears
brimming in his eyes as he tried to pry the older off of him.

"Stop! This is not a bullying opportunity! M'trying to break your fingers!" Taehyung snapped
quietly, still trying to pull Jeongguk to the ground but horribly failing at doing so.

"Specs, that's my shoulders. Not my fingers."

"Shut up!" The older grumbled, and after some time, he finally gave up. He pressed his lips
together into a pout, crossed his arms and walked the rest of the way to their room with
Jeongguk snickering behind him.
"Uh Jeongguk?" He raised an eyebrow at the older when they finally were at their door. The
older was staring at the lock, hands feeling around his pockets but he eventually gave up.
Sighing, Taehyung tilted his head up, meeting his gaze, still pouting.

"Do you have they keys?" Taehyung whispered softly, gesturing sadly at the door. "I left
mine."

"Tae," The older whispered 'what' back. "You know if I open this door the date ends,
right?" And I don't want it to end, but that's irrelevant.

"Yeah, why? If you have something to say that's very inappropriate please just hand me the
keys," The older grumbled, holding his hand out. Jeongguk shook his head, gently pushing
his hand away.

"Can I teach you one more tip?" He asked, unsure what possessed him to take a step closer to
the older, but Taehyung didn't seem to mind that. At least those feelings were mutual.

"Fine. What is it?" Taehyung muttered. Jeongguk rolled his eyes, not appreciating his
attitude, but he let it go just this once.

"This is how dates should really end," He whispered, reaching up to brush aside his hair away
from his eyes. Taehyung stilled beneath his touch, watching his every move.

He didn't know what possessed him to lean in and press his lips against Taehyung's once
more. He wasn't so sure if it was the fact that his mind was running on the leftover adrenaline
coursing through his veins, or the unconscious want to touch Specs again, to feel him just a
little while longer before the world continued like normal.

It was hesitant; barely even a proper brush.

"I'm s-sorry, are you sure?" Jeongguk murmured against his mouth, chest tight despite
nothing happened.

The older simply nodded, eyes already shut. The younger inhaled, his hand resting on
Taehyung's neck, gently pulling him close and carefully sealing the distance between them.

His lips slotted over his, Jeongguk guiding Taehyung as his thumb gently caressed the side of
his nape to assure him he was doing okay. It wasn't rushed— just them, standing in a brightly
lit hallway, kissing one another without a single thought.

There was nothing else to think about except the sensation of Taehyung's lips on his own;
warm and soft and tentative, and though this gesture was ever so simple, Jeongguk found
himself scrambling to savor every last second before his lungs gave out.

And for a second, there was this jolt, but before he could think about it, he was already
pulling away.

Nobody spoke when the kiss finally broke. His heart tightened in the cavern of his chest
when he realize Taehyung's eyes were still closed, and his lips— fuck, they were pink and
swollen all because of him.
Mindlessly, he ran his other thumb over Taehyung's lips, breath hitched in his throat when the
older's eyelids fluttered open. Fuck.

"Is that all you wanted to do?" Taehyung murmured, voice slightly hoarse as he took a step
back, watching as Jeongguk's arms fell back to his sides.

"That's all for tonight," Jeongguk nodded, clearing his throat (and hopefully his mind) as he
went to open the door, gaze not meeting Taehyung's until they approached their dorms.

"Thank you for everything. For the lesson," The older whispered, standing by the entrance to
his room, voice soft.

"Yeah. It was nothing," Jeongguk swallowed, unsure why his stomach did this flip when
Taehyung smiled at him.

"It was the best fake date ever. Sleep well, okay? I want you to be in your bed this time,"
Taehyung chuckled, waving before disappearing into his room.

He sighed, stealing once last glance at where the older stood before he returned to the
isolation of his own room. He wasn't sure what he was feeling, or if he was really even
feeling anything at all.

Except for the fact his heart hammered against his rib cage, throat suddenly dry, and stomach
twisted into knots he couldn't tangle. He wasn't sure if that counted, or if it meant anything.

All he knew was that Taehyung was on his mind, and no matter how hard he tried to clear his
head, he just simply couldn't. He just couldn't.

What the fuck did you do to yourself, Jeon?

♡♡♡
 ♡♡♡

"Oh look, you didn't die," Namjoon snorted when the youngest of the group finally joined
them for once since Taehyung was at a student council meeting, so he couldn't go with him to
Sunshine Sips and do their homework.

Which was a bummer since Jeongguk didn't want to go to cafeteria and talk to his friends. He
wanted to be with Specs in their own world for a little longer and not give a fuck about
other's opinions.

But he let Specs go. They were just pals after all.

"Where have you been, Jeonggukie?" He asked. "I thought you were gonna join us yesterday
night to spray paint our rival's mascot. Thought you loved that type of stuff?"

I really don't, Jeongguk bit his lip. "I was busy last night hanging out with a pal," He said,
glancing over at Jimin who was staring directly at him.

"Really? 'Cuz I thought you were just avoiding us," Namjoon forced out a laugh as he nudged
his side, his words making the younger stiffen in his seat.

"But we're all good, right?" I don't know.

"Yeah, we're good," Jeongguk murmured, eyeing Jimin back, even lifting an eyebrow at him.
"Are you okay, Chim?"

"I'm doing just fine," Jimin said, pushing his tray aside. He turned away from the younger,
focusing his attention back to his phone where he seemed to be waiting for a text.

"Still trying to fuck that guy?" Yoongi muttered, the sentence that slipped out of his lips
snatching the younger's attention. However, Jeongguk kept his head down, trying to pretend
he was focused on his grapes.

"He denied me again," Jimin grumbled, shutting his phone off. "It's the third time I tried to
ask him out, but he keeps shutting me down, saying he needs time. I'm giving him his fucking
time. How much more does he want?"
"Maybe he's not interested?" Namjoon cut in, to which Jimin rolled his eyes at. "With looks
like that, he probably gets a lot of people begging to date him. Probably fucked around with a
lot people too."

Were they talking about Taehyung? Jeongguk's brows drawn together, his appetite
disappearing the second he realized they were. He listened in, one of his hands curled into a
fist on his lap.

"He's interested," Jimin pressed his lips together into a thin line. "He's lucky he's fucking hot.
If he wasn't, I'd be wasting my time."

"You should respect that he wants time, hyung," Jeongguk suddenly spoke up, jaw clenched
as he slowly rose his gaze to meet the others staring right at him. "You sound kinda
desperate."

"Desperate? He's the desperate one," Jimin scoffed, something indecipherable flashing
through his narrowed eyes. "You should see what he texts me."

"If you're implying something dirty, don't lie to me. He wouldn't do that shit," Jeongguk said
cooly.

"You don't know that," The older bit back.

"Chim, if you want to approach him, do it slowly. He might still be new to these kind of
things," Realizing what he said, Jeongguk immediately shut himsef up. Namjoon and Yoongi
exchanged confused looks, wondering how the hell he knew that.

"Jeongguk, why are you so heated? It's just a fuck," Namjoon said, raising an eyebrow at
him. At that, the younger scoffed, his finger nails digging into the skin on his palm.

"Yeah. Let Jimin fuck whoever he wants. He got to the guy first, Gguk. You know the rules
about the hook ups," Yoongi said, waving his fork at him.

"Let me remind you," Namjoon mused. "Whoever talks to them first, gets the fuck. Nobody
else can interfere. Clearly, Jimin got to him first. I didn't see you talking to the new kid."

"I know. I made those rules," Jeongguk muttered, inhaling sharply. Honestly, fuck those
rules. They couldn't do that to Taehyung. "And he isn't new. He went here before."

"Really? What's his name?" Namjoon asked.

"Kim Taehyung. My roommate."

"Who?" The older raised an eyebrow at him, genuinely not remembering.

Jeongguk swallowed, his teeth gritting together as he averted his stare to Jimin. "Outside the
cafeteria, now." He shot up from where he sat, ignoring the whispers of other students upon
realizing something was wrong.
"Why I did nothing?" Jimin batted his eyelashes at him ever so innocently. The younger
opened his mouth to talk, but Namjoon was quick to cut him off.

"Dude, sit down. It was a joke," He said, tugging his blazer. Jeongguk glared at him, yanking
his arm away from him. "Chill out. No one's hurting anyone here."

"Could you guys just shut up?" Jeongguk snapped, stepping away when Namjoon tried to
reach for him.

"Please, I just want to fucking eat."

"Then fucking eat, bro," Namjoon held his hands up in defense, glancing over at Yoongi and
Jimin when the younger finally sat back down. "Nobody's trying to stop you." He added
when Jeongguk aggressively shoved a grape into his mouth.

"God, Jeon. You hang out with a fag like that, and suddenly you're soft."

"What did you just say?" Jeongguk froze. His jaw tightened as he turned to face the older, a
lump forming in his throat. Namjoon lifted an eyebrow at him, acting like he didn't just say
an offensive slur.

"What did I do?" He asked, eyes wide.

"You're fucking aware Jimin and I are open to guys, right?" Jeongguk spat out, gesturing
between the two of them at the table. He nodded slowly, not understanding where this was
going.

"Told you I was okay with that," Namjoon shrugged. "I didn't say I was okay with other
people."

"I'm out of here," Jeongguk muttered, grabbing his tray. He ignored his friends' protests
telling him to come back, wanting nothing but to go back to the dorm even if it meant being
alone without Taehyung.

It didn't matter as long as he wasn't with them.

♡♡♡

Taehyung stirred, realizing he fell asleep on top of his chemistry exam notes. He groaned
softly, hand reaching up to rub his tired eyes as he glanced over at his clock, shocked to see
he was out for hours.

Since when was it already twelve a.m.? He swore it was three in the afternoon a moment ago.

Albeit a little disappointed he wasted so much time, he decided to get up from his bed and get
a snack. It probably wouldn't hurt to eat anything, especially since he missed dinner. Frick, he
missed dinner. He promised Jeongguk he was going to eat with him.

"Crap," He cursed underneath his breath, instantly hating himself for forgetting a promise he
made. He carefully opened the door, not wanting to wake his roommate up just in case he
was asleep.

It was his fault, he realized as he slipped into the cool darkness of their living room. Today
was just so busy he wasn't able to check out his phone, or even get a chance to see Jeongguk
and make sure he was doing okay without him.

The meeting went on for too long. The headmaster was furious a couple idiots went and
vandalized their rival school's property, and Taehyung had to listen to the entire council argue
about punishments most of the time. The other half was shooting down his many admirers,
who tried to make a move on him.

He promised himself he would make it up to the younger in the morning, and maybe make
him some food if he left for the convenience store tomorrow at an early time.

Maybe buy him some cereal, or be nice and thank him by making pancakes. He made a mean
batch of them according to his dads, and maybe he could get Jeongguk to help.

Right before he entered the kitchen, he froze, hearing a voice that wasn't familiar at all.

"It's literally ass o'clock Ggukie, go sleep stupid." It was that feminine voice— the same one
Taehyung heard the last few times he stumbled upon Jeongguk in the middle of the night.

"I can't sleep. I tried," Now that was Jeongguk. He sounded exhausted, his voice slightly
hoarse. He peered around the wall, spotting him slumped over the table with his hood on,
facetiming someone on his phone.

"Yes you can. I'm your older sister. I'm ordering you to go to bed," Taehyung couldn't really
see the girl on the phone since he forgot his glasses. Everything was a big blob, and if he
squinted, he could make out a face that wasn't a mesh of random colors.

"How's mom," Jeongguk murmured, words muffled against his sleeve. His sister scoffed.

"Jeongguk, stop changing the subject," His sister sighed, until she finally caved in. "She's
fine. I took her to the doctor for her physical therapy, and she made progress with her left
hand strength."

"Good. That's good. Is she taking her medication?"

"Yes, Jeongguk."
"Is the girls okay? Lin? Kyungie? Inna?"

"Yes, Jeongguk."

"Did you make sure Lin gets a note in her lunch? You know how sad she gets at school
because of Mom. And Kyungie— did you take her to dance? Did you buy Inna a new pair of
kneepads for volleyball?"

"Yes now stop worrying! Auntie and I are doing the best we could here," His sister said, and
although Taehyung couldn't see, he could hear the tiredness in her words.

"Hyejung-noona, I can ask dad if I can go home this weekend to help," Jeongguk started,
"You have mom to take care of, and she's a lot, and then the three girls. If you need me—,"

"— You do enough, Gguk. Trust me. Just focus on your volleyball. We have everything
covered," She murmured, and if Taehyung squinted enough, he could see her place her hand
on the screen.

"You said that last time, and Inna got pneumonia," Jeongguk muttered. "If you want, I can
pick up another job to take the load off. I could pay for the new medication if you let me take
up this shift. Just please, let me do something."

"Jeongguk you're not listening to me."

"I am listening," He snapped, realizing he raised his voice. He inhaled slowly, running his
hand over his face. "It kills me I can't help you guys. Ever since mom got sick... I can't think.
I'm here, doing nothing but playing a fucking game and pretending like you guys are doing
okay."

"And we are doing okay. Go to sleep, Jeongguk. You always call me to argue, and I don't
have the fucking energy to do this," Hyejung whispered. "If anything bad happens, I'll call
you. You know that."

"You won't call me, Jung. We both know you won't," Jeongguk murmured. The two of them
remained silent, until the younger finally said goodbye and ended the call.

Right before Taehyung could escape and pretend like this never happened (he knew Jeongguk
would get mad), he knocked over a fake plant, wincing the second it clattered to the ground.
He froze in his place, an uneasy smile settling on his lips, wincing.

Frick.

"How much did you hear?"

Taehyung closed his eyes, hoping he wasn't talking to him. "Taehyung, I know it's you. So
tell me, what the hell did you fucking hear?"

"I heard the last part," Taehyung murmured, sighing as he realized there was no way to
escape anymore. He turned around, slowly edging his way into the kitchen to see the younger
staring directly at him.
"But you still heard something," Jeongguk said, tilting his head up to meet Taehyung's gaze.
The older stopped right beside him, guessing it would be weird to sit down.

"And I promise I won't tell anyone. I'll act like I heard nothing. I know I shouldn't have
overheard, and that was very, very personal... please just don't be mad," Taehyung rambled,
his voice softening when Jeongguk exhaled unevenly, covering his face with his hands.

"I'm sorry, Jeongguk. I'm sorry."

"Specs, I'm not mad," Jeongguk murmured, holding his head in his palms, his eyes squeezed
shut. "I'm just... you weren't supposed to know that."

"Know that you disappear at late times in the night to work for your family?" He whispered
softly. The younger shook his head, tugging at his hair beneath his hood.

He didn't expect this, especially from a guy like Jeongguk, but this wasn't the time to
compare him to all the versions of Jeon Jeongguk he overheard around school.

This was the real Jeon Jeongguk— the one that had the biggest heart, the one who cared
about his sisters and adored every single one of them. The version that worked hard to take
care of his family, not the version of him that fucked people on demand and was a complete
asshole to anyone who breathed.

And yet, no matter how amazing this version was, Jeongguk didn't allow anybody to see it.

"Why don't you want people to know about this?" Taehyung asked, hoping he wasn't
overstepping any boundaries between them. He opened his mouth to tell him it was okay, he
didn't have to answer, but the younger simply sighed.

"I hate rumors, Specs," Jeongguk whispered, words trembling ever so slightly. "I hate how
people warp things just so they could have drama to tell and make everything seem worse
than it really is."

"I don't want them fucking up the image of my sisters just so they could make themselves
look better than me."

"I don't want strangers to act like they know me and give me pity I don't need," He
murmured, playing with his fingers. "They're better off knowing who I am here, Specs. I'd
rather they talk shit about me than my family."

"Oh," Taehyung whispered, tucking aside his hair behind his ear. "Well you know I won't do
that to you. I understand where you're coming from. I don't mention my dads at all 'cos I don't
want them to go through what I experience."

He sat down on one of the chairs, pulling it close so it was next to Jeongguk. He swallowed,
unsure of what to do. "Jeongguk, you're a good person."

"Don't," Jeongguk murmured, lifting his head from his hands. "Please, let's not talk about it."
"Okay," Taehyung whispered back, taking a deep breath. "Okay. Then you should sleep. It's
late, and you're clearly stressed out."

"I can't," The younger said softly, voice slightly breaking. "I can't Specs. Trust me, I've tried."

"Well, then, if you don't wanna talk, wanna hear a joke?" He tried to at least lighten the
mood, and when the younger didn't answer he guessed it wouldn't hurt to try to make him
feel better.

"Why did the can crusher quit his job?" The younger said nothing.

"Because it was soda pressing!" Silence. Taehyung cleared his throat, trying to think of
another joke.

"Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they're bagels!" Again,
nothing, but he noticed the edge of Jeongguk's lip curve upward.

"Why do cow-milking stools only have three legs? 'Cause the cow's got the udder!"

"You're ridiculous, Specs," Jeongguk snorted quietly, propping his elbow on the table, resting
his cheek on the cusp of his palm. "Your jokes are hurting my soul."

"I'm trying to make you laugh, idiot," Taehyung rolled his eyes, unable to fight a smile of his
own twitching on his lips. "Is it working?"

"Maybe," The younger grinned shyly, "I hate you."

"No you don't," He chuckled, reaching over and flicking his wrist. "You love me." At that, he
swore Jeongguk's smile faltered a little at the corners, but Taehyung supposed it was just his
bad eyesight.

"If you still can't sleep, wanna hear a story?" He asked, leaning forward in his seat.

"If it's more puns, I'm going to throw myself out the window," Jeongguk muttered. Taehyung
rolled his eyes, nudging his foot with his slipper.

"No, it's about me," Taehyung said. "When it was too late to watch a movie and I couldn't
sleep, my dads let me sleep in their bed. They said told me every nightmares go away when
you have company."

"What are you suggesting?" The younger asked, watching him get to his feet. Taehyung held
his hand out, giving him a crooked smile masked beneath the shadows of their dorm room.

"Sleep in my bed with me."

"W-What?" The older took Jeongguk's hand in his, intertwining their fingers together. He
helped him off his chair, gently tugging him along as he lead him to his bedroom.

"Isn't this breaking our rules?" Jeongguk asked, stopping right before the door.
Taehyung rolled his eyes, "Frick the rules. You need to sleep." The other didn't argue, finally
letting Taehyung take him into his room.

It was pitch black inside, the moonlight spilling between his blinds barely even bright enough
to be considered light. Taehyung realized Jeongguk was struggling to stay awake, so he
helped him onto his bed, letting him get in first.

The only sounds were their uneven breathing and the rustle of Taehyung's blankets.
Eventually they settled: Jeongguk against the wall and Taehyung sliding in right behind him.

There was absolutely no space between them, and he guessed he blamed the size of his twin
bed. It was obvious it was only made for one person, but they made it work even though
Taehyung's body was pressing into Jeongguk.

God, they were so close. Taehyung held his breath, feeling Jeongguk's racing heart against
his. In the blanket of blueish darkness, he had to squint to see his features, and when he did,
he didn't know what to think.

His lips were slightly parted, and right beneath was a little mole. Taehyung pulled the blanket
over them, keeping his eyes on the younger, who was fighting to stay conscious. Somehow,
his hand reached up and traced the edge of his jawline ever so softly.

He ran his fingers up his jaw and along the shapes of his lips. He outlined the bridge of his
nose, and eventually he was drawing little smiles on his cheek. Jeongguk's eyes were nearly
shutting close, but there was still something holding him back.

So Taehyung did the unthinkable.

He wrapped his arms around Jeongguk's tiny waist (that was surprising), bringing the
younger close to his frame. He let him rest his head on his chest right above his heart while
he hugged him close.

Their faces nearly bumped into one another at the close proximity, causing Taehyung's heart
to still. It was weird, this feeling, but he just didn't seem to care at this point.

He wasn't sure if it was the exhaustion of the day, or the fact that having Jeongguk cooped up
in his arms made him feel oddly content.

"Why are you doing this?" The younger frowned, half asleep as he looked up. Taehyung
freed one of his hands to brush aside the younger's hair away from his eyes, eyebrows easing
when a sleepy Jeongguk leaned into his touch.

"My dads said a hug will make sure all the stress and nightmares go away," Taehyung
whispered, watching as the younger fell asleep in his embrace before he could answer.

It was odd, and he didn't know what he was doing, but it felt right. Somehow it felt right, and
as he stared at Jeongguk's peaceful features slacked with sleep, Taehyung didn't regret it.

It just felt right.

He let his own eyes fall shut and held the younger closer to his frame, resting his head against
his. Eventually he fell asleep, with Jeongguk in his arms, and his heart beating like nothing
even changed.
 platonic hickeys & heated stuff

♡♡♡

Things returned to normal between Jeongguk and him; it was like nothing ever happened.

Taehyung didn't mind that they didn't talk about it. He supposed the younger would bring it
up when he was ready, and all he could do was wait for him. It wasn't cool to force people to
do things they simply weren't ready for.

When Jeongguk felt it was the right time, Taehyung would support him like all friends do.

So business continued as usual. He walked to every class with Jeongguk by his side, spent
every lunch with him at Sunshine Sips, went to meetings after making sure Jeongguk got to
the dorm safely and came back from practice with his favorite cereal.

When it came to night time, Taehyung practically dragged Jeongguk away from the table to
his bed. The younger was still pretty stubborn, not listening to him when he demanded he go
to sleep at ten.

Most nights ended up with Taehyung rolling the younger into blanket burritos on his bed,
making sure he was all warm and content before hugging him tight.

Jeongguk was like a giant cuddly teddy bear, and he was all cute and pouty when he was
delirious.

"Why am I always the little spoon?" Jeongguk grumbled the previous night, half-asleep as the
older ran his fingers through his surprisingly soft hair.

"Because you're a big idiot," Taehyung whispered back, and that was basically the end of
their discussion.

The next morning, Taehyung bit into an eggo waffle, typing away at his laptop as he wrote
his essay on the dangers of gay conversion therapy. It was Saturday, and Seokjin and Hoseok
made sure to tell him they went home for the weekend, leaving him alone.

Well, he wasn't entirely alone. Jeongguk couldn't go back to Busan on weekends due to
volleyball. This was usually how it went anyways. Taehyung would lounge around in his
room, watching netflix while Jeongguk went out to practice and came back with food.

It surprised him Jeongguk wasn't going out with different people lately, which struck
Taehyung a little confused since that was practically a side hobby of the younger's. He didn't
really care what he did, but he supposed it felt nice he chose to stay here with him.
Maybe Jeongguk wasn't that bad of a friend after all.

"Hey Specs, I've been meaning to ask you," Speaking of the devil, Jeongguk came out of the
bathroom, a toothbrush in one hand and toothpaste dribbling from the edge of his mouth.

"Ask me what?" He glanced away from his screen to see a shirtless Jeongguk, but honesty, he
wasn't that shocked anymore. The guy hated wearing shirts at the dorm.

"I was talking to Jimin the other day," He quickly ran back into the bathroom to finish
brushing his teeth before saying,

"Why have you been denying him Specs?"

"O-oh. You know about that," Taehyung froze, blinking a couple times at the younger as he
stood by the door with a towel around his shoulders. Frick, he wasn't supposed to know about
that.

"We have a banquet to go to next weekend," The younger said. "The plan was to get him
there, but why aren't you making a move right now?"

"N-no reason," He mumbled, averting his attention back to his essay, which honestly he didn't
care for right now because it looked like a jumble of words. "I just haven't been feeling well."

That was kind of a lie, and honestly he hoped he didn't catch it, but knowing Jeongguk, he
probably already did. He could hear his footsteps echo on the flooring, and it didn't take
much for him to realize he was standing beside him; he could feel him looming beside him.

"Is it because I'm taking all your time?" Jeongguk asked. Taehyung's brows furrowed, head
whipping up to meet the younger's gaze.

"Because we can end this a bit earlier."

"What? No. I'm just not ready, that's all. I-I need more practice before I date him, you know?"
He said, chuckling uneasily. Jeongguk frowned.

"There's only so much I could teach you, Specs. We're already in Phase 2," Jeongguk said,
resting his hand on the back of Taehyung's chair and leaned forward, their faces inches apart
from one another's.

"Phase 2? You know, you've never explained all the phases to me," Taehyung murmured,
shutting his laptop before Jeongguk could read all of it. The younger grumbled 'hey', earning
an eyeroll from the older as he pushed him away to get up.

"Well Phase 1 was the makeover. Phase 2 is all about the skills. That's where we are at,"
Jeongguk said, following Taehyung while he put away his dish in the sink.

"Phase 3 is when... Is when I give you to Jimin."

He didn't know what he exactly meant by that, but he merely hummed. When he turned
around, he gasped softly, his chest bumping into Jeongguk's. He pressed his lips together,
swallowing as his gaze met the younger's.

There was something in his gaze that he couldn't quite decipher what it was. Hurt? No,
Jeongguk wouldn't feel that way. If he was pained, he would tell him eventually, and honestly
it could just be some figment of Taehyung's imagination.

Maybe he was just sad that morning over something else?

"Well then, we'll make the most out of Phase 2, right? Please, I still need your help,"
Taehyung said, capturing his bottom lip between his teeth. "I don't think I can go on a date
with Jimin just yet."

I don't think I can do this without you. He didn't say that out loud; it would be embarassing.

"But you'd go out with me? Aren't we pals?" The younger teased, never failing to bring a
smile to his lips. Taehyung lightly punched his shoulder, unable to help himself from rolling
his eyes.

"Friends. We're friends," He corrected him softly, watching calmly as the sweetest smile
spread across the younger's lips. Jeongguk raised an eyebrow at him, not aware that he
stepped closer toward him.

"I've upgraded to a friend now?" Jeongguk said, wiggling his eyebrows in that stupid way
Taehyung absolutely hated.

"I've just made fucking history!"

"Shut up," Taehyung murmured. "Don't make me take that back," He threatened half-
heartedly.

Jeongguk raised an eyebrow at him, "What? I was literally your friend for a second, and I'm
getting that privilege revoked?!"

"What have I done to you, Specs?" A lot of things.

"If you don't step back, I might consider revoking it," He said, tilting his head a little to the
side as he adjusted the towel around Jeongguk's shoulders.

"And what if I don't step back?" Jeongguk asked, challenge sparkling in those big, doe eyes
of his that honestly didn't match his fuckboy identity.

It still didn't make sense how this guy became one of those fuckboys in cliche highschool
dramas. He was too caring for his own good, and the guy was smart. Jeongguk owned the
biggest heart Taehyung's ever seen, and yet he chose to be known as a fuckboy.

But there was a reason, and Taehyung appreciated that reason. He did it not because he cared
about his own reputation but his family. He was capable of love, which Taehyung thought he
wasn't before.
And he knew this Jeongguk would never see the light of anyone else beyond the two of them,
yet for some reason, he liked the idea of that.

Just Jeongguk and him. Maybe Jeongguk would be his best friend someday.

"Then I'll break your fingers," Taehyung murmured, bumping against the counter. Jeongguk
snorted.

"What is your obsession with my fingers? Do you want them in you, or something?" At that,
Taehyung choked in horror.

"I saved that for a later lesson, but if you're down—,"

"—I never said that," Taehyung cried out, smacking his chest as the younger snickered.
"What's your issue with saying really dirty things?!"

"I dunno. I just find it funny when your eyes get all big," Jeongguk shrugged, flicking his
chin. The older didn't expect that, and before he could talk, the younger was already leaning
down.

"Excuse me," Taehyung squeaked, his hands flying up to Jeongguk's chest, though he didn't
push him back. "The sink is watching."

"Relax," The younger snorted. "I'd never do things you don't want me to do. We're learning
on your own time."

"And plus we're learning something different today."

"Are you gonna kiss me again?"

"What? I didn't mention kissing," Jeongguk raised an eyebrow at him.

"We know you're thinking about it," Taehyung said in a matter of fact tone. "You could've
just asked. It's for practice, after all."

"God. M'afraid what you're going to do to me, Kim Taehyung," He murmured, unable to fight
back the grin fitting itself onto his lips.

"I'm gonna make you fall in love with me," The older teased, missing the way Jeongguk's
smile crumbled a little at the edges.

"I'm kidding. We're just friends."

"That's bold. But are you bold enough for this next quick lesson?" Jeongguk asked,
practically pining the older against the counter. His hands were on either sides of him, his
chest pressing against his own, still a bit damp from his shower.

"This lesson requires you to channel your inner fuckboy."

He returned his stare without hesitation, his heart stilling in his chest when he realized how
close their faces were. If Jeongguk moved a little bit more, he would be kissing him, like
actually kissing him.

And Jeongguk was still kinda wet— not like that though. His hair was still tangled and damp
from his shower, and his skin was awfully cool against his touch. Taehyung usually didn't
mind him being shirtess, but this was a whole other level of what the frick.

"Tell me," Taehyung challenged, smirking directy at the younger. "I can take anything." He
declared.

"You sure, 'cause I don't think you're gonna last," Jeongguk shrugged, teasing him. The older
rolled his eyes at him.

"I can beat you in anything."

"But you can't beat your own meat," He yelped, flinching when Taehyung punched his
shoulder. "I was kidding, Specs." He muttered, lips pulling into a pout as he rubbed his arm.

"Just tell me what is. I have a fat research essay to do," Taehyung said, gesturing his at his
laptop. "If you're not worth my time I can—,"

"— Make out with me Specs."

What did he just say?

"W-what? I-I thought you were g-gonna ask me something else," He squeaked, stumbling
over his words as he struggled to even think when Jeongguk's sentence repeated in his mind
like a broken record.

"You said you could take anything, but if you wanna step down from the challenge— oh,"
The older cut him off by cupping his face in his hands, gently squeezing his cheeks together.

"You want to make out with me Jeon Jeongguk?" Taehyung swallowed, trying to channel
every drop of confidence he could muster. There was no way he was letting Jeongguk see
how much he was freaking out on the inside.

He was supposed to learn how to be a 'top', not a freaking 'bottom' like Jeongguk mentioned.

"That's what friends are for right?" Jeongguk asked, his voice cracking slight as Taehyung
eased his grip on his cheeks. "Ouch, my face hurts."

"Can I kiss you again? I promise I won't hurt you," Taehyung said, gently patting his cheek
when the younger gave him a skeptical look. "C'mon, I messed up once."

"You missed my mouth. How could you miss my mouth?"

"That was an accident! Let it go!"

"You literally smushed your face against my face hoping it was my lips. You went in blind
for no reason."

"Shut up. Trust me, I'll get better at it," He jutted out his bottom lip into a pout, hoping it
worked like it did with Seokjin and Hoseok whenever he wanted something.

Jeongguk stared at him, hesitance dancing in his eyes before he let out a sigh. "Fine." He
murmured, rolling his eyes when Taehyung squealed, excited.

"If you give me a concussion before our final preseason tournament, I'm not gonna forgive
you, Specs," Jeongguk grumbled, rolling his eyes when Taehyung gave him the giddiest grin.

"You won't regret this!"

"Oh I—," Taehyung shut him up by kissing him.

Great! He didn't miss his lips this time! He wanted to celebrate, but he realized screaming in
excitement into Jeongguk's mouth might make him choke so he decided to do that later.

Okay, they were kissing now. Jeongguk's lips were somehow really soft against his own, like
wow, how was that even possible? Focus Taehyung, he told himself as Jeongguk suddenly
pressed foreward.

It caught him off guard, and somehow his hands accidentally slipped to Jeongguk's hair,
pulling him closer as Jeongguk did most of the cool stuff. He gasped against Jeongguk's lips,
feeling something wet swipe across his bottom lip.

He pushed him off, breathing heavily, "W-what the heck was that?" He asked, panic rising up
his throat, unfamiliar with whatever that was.

"Do you want me to stop?" Jeongguk's brows knitted together, confusion in his gentle gaze.
"I mean if you aren't ready, I'm not—,"

"— No I mean, d-did you just lick me?"

"Specs, what the fuck," The younger groaned. "You just ruined the mood."

"I-I'm sorry, but like, you licked me."

"Please shut up. You're ruining kissing for me."

"BUT YOU LICKED ME. Excuse you, I am not a lolipop, I am a person. With lips."

Jeongguk captured his lips with his own, taking control like he always did and successfully
shutting him up. Taehyung decided to just 'frick it' and let Jeongguk do whatever, after all, he
knew more than him.

Exhaling through his nose, he wrapped his arms around Jeongguk's neck, letting him deepen
the kiss.
He supposed he should open his lips a bit more and he did, finding it rather odd that
Jeongguk's tongue was in his mouth, and it surprisingly felt good albeit a little weird at first.
Frick, he didn't know what to think because at this point, he was putty.

He ran his fingers through his locks, tilting his head to the side, letting Jeongguk take over.
He moaned slightly, surprised the sound even left his lips as the younger nipped at his bottom
lip, sending waves of little shocks through every one of his nerves.

And somehow, Jeongguk lifted his entire weight onto the counter. He wrapped his legs
around his waist, tugging gently at his hair as Jeongguk popped his lips off of his. He moved
his head back, exposing his neck while the younger trailed kisses down his jaw, completely
lost in the daze of the moment.

Jeongguk was too good at this, unraveling him with something as small as kisses. He left wet
opened mouth ones down his jugular, even biting playfully at the sensitive skin on his
exposed collarbone whilst Taehyung accidentally pulled at his hair.

His skin was cold against Taehyung's touch, a complete contrast to the warmth of his lips that
made his stomach twist into knots. Just when he thought Jeongguk was going to stop there,
he connected their mouths again, his hands running down Taehyung's thighs.

In this moment, he felt everything and nothing at all. Every sense of his amplified as he
focused solely on Jeongguk and Jeongguk alone. Every accidental moan and yelp that left his
lips was all because of him.

Were friends supposed to make each other feel this way?

The younger's hands were everywhere: feeling the space between his thighs, thumbs hooked
beneath his shirt and stroking the bare skin of his waist, and sometimes he would
occasionally squeeze his ass. He wasn't sure what else he was doing, too distracted by the
way Jeongguk kissed him like there was no fracking tomorrow.

Like if he stopped, he would leave him.

Taehyung let him do whatever he wanted, touch him, kiss him wherever he wanted since it
felt good, and of course, it was just practice— he was mentally keeping notes.

"Oops," Jeongguk was kissing his shoulder blade when he finally spoke, voice hoarse as he
tried to catch his breath. Taehyung pulled back, blue hair falling over his eyes when he met
the younger's hooded gaze.

"Guess what I just did."

"W-what did you do?" He breathed, removing his fingers from Jeongguk's hair after gently
patting his head, realizing he was tugging too hard.

"I left a hickey," The younger murmured, freeing his hand from its grip around his waist. He
shivered when his thumb brushed against the tender spot on the dip of his collarbone.
"You l-left a what now?" Taehyung frowned, lightly pushing him back to see what he did. He
wasn't that stupid; he knew what a hickey was, but he never knew what it looked like until
now.

"A hickey. I marked you, Specs."

Right there, on the canvas of his tanned skin, was a blossom of red, pink, and faint purples. It
was small, and he supposed he could hide it, but holy frick, he did not expect to get a hickey
from Jeongguk ever.

"I'm sorry," Jeongguk chuckled, pulling away from the older with a lopsided smirk on his
lips.

"I couldn't help myself."

"No it's okay," Taehyung immediately regretting looking down.

"Well then if you're okay, I can teach you something else later?" The older nodded slowly, but
he wasn't focused on that. "What's wrong?"

"Jeongguk?" Taehyung swallowed, that being the last thing on his mind. His eyes were wide,
and holy shit his own face was burning, but not because he was kissing Jeongguk.

"Yeah?" He lifted an eyebrow at him.

"A-are you hard right now?"

"W-what no— oh shit."

"Goodbye. It was nice kissing you, friend," The younger immediately scrambled away, not
looking back at the older who started to laugh. Taehyung clutched his stomach, trying to call
out to him, but he couldn't as his lungs seemed to squeeze.

God this was just too good. He, out of all the people in their school, gave the Jeon Jeongguk a
boner.

That was what friends were for, he guessed.

♡♡♡
"Specs, are you home?" Jeongguk called out as he came back from volleyball, dropping his
things by the door where Taehyung's backpack was.

"Right here!" He made his way to the couch where Taehyung was sitting with a laptop on his
lap and a bowl of sliced apples. He guessed the guy didn't move since he left for practice, but
he didn't mind.

He wanted payback for that morning.

It was partially his fault for getting hard, but he had to place the blame on Taehyung. For
fuck's sake, he let him feel his heavenly ass! Like that ass wasn't a joke, and the second
Jeongguk had it in his hands, he didn't want to let that shit go.

Of course, he did because they were friends, and friends weren't supposed to like grabbing
their other friend's ass.

But then again, they were a weird pair of friends, so Jeongguk guessed it didn't matter.

Anyways, he wanted to get him back, let Taehyung feel how it felt to get a boner and have
nobody take care of it. The guy must have had one before; it was practically human nature to
pop one, but he wasn't sure if Taehyung ever experienced actual 'arousal' in his life at this
point.

So Jeongguk, like the amazing person he was, was going to teach him!

He locked their door twice, making sure all the locks were in place just in case a dumbass
was going to try and unlock their door. Jeongguk thought about this plan all day, even during
volleyball, and nobody was going to keep him from getting his ultimate payback.

However, when Yugyeom tried to keep him for an extra scrimmage, but Jeongguk wasn't
quite know how to explain that morning to him, so he just said he had personal business to
attend to.

There was no way he was going to say, "Oh you know, my friend gave me a fucking boner so
I'm gonna give him one. Just a casual, typical Saturday morning, you know."

"Are you down for another lesson?" Jeongguk asked, sitting down beside him and snatching
one of his apples. Taehyung nodded, typing something just before he was going to shut his
laptop.

"I think you want to keep that," The younger said, taking his laptop from his grip. Taehyung
raised an eyebrow at him, setting his apples on the table.

"Why would we need my laptop?" Taehyung frowned, watching as Jeongguk entered his
private browser. It took a couple seconds for the older to realize what was going on until—

"WE ARE NOT WATCHING PORN TOGETHER."

"Specs, we agreed to this the other day," Jeongguk snorted, trying to keep his composure
while the older shook his head beside him, repeating 'nope' over and over again.
"We're gonna watch hot gay porn and write a detailed two page analysis on it."

"No we are not," Taehyung squeaked, screaming a little when he noticed Jeongguk was
already on that sight. "Jeon Jeongguk we are not."

"Fine," Jeongguk shrugged, unable to fight the smile on his lips when Taehyung shrieked at
the category he just now entered.

"We'll just watch and comment on it. Think of it as a cool example lesson."

"T-this is not cool. I-I don't k-know why we're doing this," Taehyung nearly shouted, but
Jeongguk shushed him, trying so hard not to laugh as he scrolled through these ridiculous
porn videos.

"Does 'Fat veiny cock destroys whiny twink's tiny asshole' sound appealing to you?"

"Jeongguk!" Taehyung covered his face, and for the first time, his entire features were bright
red. At that, the younger smirked, proud he was already getting to him.

"If not, there's 'The assventures of rim tim tim' if you're down," Jeongguk snorted, a laugh
bubbling in the hollow of his throat as Specs curled into a ball, leaning on his side.

"There's a lot more. Fist Bang Bang, Fill Guy the Science Gay, Watch Twinkies Get Filled.
Fuck, Specs who makes these?" He cried out, finally letting out a laugh as he continued
scrolling through every video with Taehyung refusing to look at it.

"Jeongguk please," Taehyung wheezed, and it took him a moment to realize that he was
laughing to. "I don't know why we're doing this."

"I just thought you should learn how it works," Jeongguk shrugged, wincing when the video
titles get worse and worse. He wasn't sure if he should show Taehyung a video about BDSM
— that could potentially scar him.

He didn't quite pinpoint Taehyung as a very kinky guy, honestly. Maybe a muscle fetish? He
saw him staring the other day while he was working out in the living room. Other than that,
Taehyung probably wasn't into those things; he wasn't either.

"Would it be inappropriate to say this is going to be a contest, too?" Jeongguk asked, only to
burst into more laughter when Taehyung shot up in his seat, horrified.

"A-a contest? About w-what?" He stumbled over his words, adorably flustered over all of
this. Jeongguk was trying his best to keep a straight face but it was virtually impossible.

"A contest to see who breaks first." Taehyung raised an eyebrow at him.

"First one to have to jerk off, or at least wants to touch themselves loses."

"I THOUGHT THIS WAS A LESSON!" Taehyung cried out, running his hands down his
face as the younger finally found a video that wasn't cringey, or absolutely ridiculous.
"And it is. But also some friendly competition," Jeongguk went to sit on the floor, set the
laptop on the table, ready to push the start button. "You in?"

"W-why is this even a thing?" He grumbled, but eventually he nodded, giving in and joining
him on the ground. "Fine. I have a feeling this is payback for this morning."

"Indeed, you are correct my dear friend," Jeongguk grinned. "It's okay, Specs. I made sure to
choose a video that covers all the bases. It's very much adequate for a virgin like you."

"Please shut up you unvirgin," Taehyung muttered, crossing his arms over his chest.
Jeongguk glanced at him one last time, finding it cute how he was fuming beside him and
pressed play.

He made sure to keep the volume medium, hoping it would get Taehyung to crumble first.
Jeongguk was good at keeping his features still, and he always found gay porn amusing
rather than arousing, so he supposed he would be the winner.

Taehyung better give in first, anyways.

It was already weird, getting through the first few awkward minutes of watching the two
main leads kiss. The younger kept stealing glances at Taehyung, making sure he wasn't
scarring him or anything, but the older was watching it with a calm expression despite his
rosy red cheeks.

When they finally got to the foreplay, Jeongguk pressed his lips together, instantly noticing
the way Taehyung's features scrunched together when the top made the bottom lie down on
their back. The younger already knew what was happening.

"Why are his fingers going into his butthole?"

Jeongguk nearly choked. Oh right. Teaching lesson time. "Uh, well, he's opening him up. It's
a bit harder to fuck someone in the ass. You need to stretch 'em out a bit before you go in."

"And does it feel weird?" Specs asked, focused on the video, which surprisingly caught
Jeongguk off guard.

"I mean, I don't know personally. I've never bottomed for anyone," Jeongguk said. Taehyung
hummed.

"So technically you have your butt virginity."

"What did you just say?" Jeongguk swallowed, not exactly hearing him right. "My what?"

"Because you've never let anyone frick you in the ass, you have your butt virginity,"
Taehyung pointed out. Jeongguk blinked rapidly, still trying to register what he meant.
"Therefore you're a virgin."

"M'not a virgin," Jeongguk chuckled uneasily, scratching the side of his neck. "F-fine I lied.
I've bottomed a couple times, but it's rare, okay. Those times only happened because they
have big dicks."
"So, you're saying if I have a big dick, you'd let me top you?"

"Excuse me?" Jeongguk did not want that image in his mind. Taehyung didn't say anything
and leaned back into the couch, focusing on the video.

He honestly liked to think Taehyung was smaller than him to preserve his own ego, and also
the fact that he just couldn't resist a big dick. That was one of the few things absolutely
nobody knew about him, but of course, he told Taehyung without thinking.

Call him a size queen, but it didn't matter. It wasn't like Taehyung had a big dick anyways.

Jeongguk wasn't exactly sure how Taehyung wasn't breaking yet. The top got to the weird
part, trying to build up the sexual tension for the film, which honestly Jeongguk couldn't
watch without cringing. It was overly exaggerated, but there was no other way to teach Specs
without doing himsef.

Which he wouldn't do. Ever.

By the time the video got to the actual fucking, he swore Taehyung had to at least be turned
on at this point. Sure, the moans were a little exaggerated, but it was fucking porn— what did
Jeongguk expect.

At this point, Jeongguk wasn't even focused on the video. He didn't want to
glance down there, that would be weird, especially since Taehyung was in sweatpants, and
staring down there was not very friendly of him.

Taehyung didn't even blink when the top started to thrust into the bottom. "Are you okay,
Specs?" Jeongguk asked, a little concerned when the older wasn't saying anything.

"Is this really how sex works?"

"Not exactly? It's not this over exaggerated," He gestured at the screen, not sure where this
was going between the two of them. "They make it like this to turn people on."

Taehyung didn't say anything. Oh? Oh. The corners of Jeongguk's lips curled upward. "Are
you turned on right now, Specs?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at him.

"W-what kind of question is that?" Taehyung shoved his shoulder, horror in his widened eyes.
"It's porn. Of course I'm gonna be... yeah! Shut up."

"Like what level of turned-on are you feeling right now? Is it like, damn that's hot, or wow I
think I wanna go to my room and deal with it?" Jeongguk asked, enjoying the way
Taehyung's features redden with each word he said.

"I-I know you're trying to get me back from this morning, but I'm not gonna lose now," The
older said, crossing his legs together, and that was when Jeongguk knew he was getting close.

"So you're saying, you're already hard?"

"S-shut up," Taehyung's face was brighter than an actual tomato, and honestly, Jeongguk
wanted to laugh but he was moments way from winning.

"Oh my god, you're hard!" Jeongguk shot up, scooting closer to the older with a shit-eating
smirk on his lips. "So, how does it feel?"

"W-why would I tell you that?" Taehyung gulped, keeping his attention straight on the screen
where the top was pounding into the bottom.

Jeongguk knew this was it, he got Taehyung, all until he cleared his throat and said,

"That's what I'm going to do to you." What.

"D-do what to me?" The younger pressed his lips together, adam's apple bobbing nervously
in the hollow of his throat.

"That," Taehyung pointed at the screen. Jeongguk's features paled when he realized the top
was basically destroying the bottom's ass.

"I'm gonna fuck you so hard, you're gonna be sobbing my name."

"Whaaaaaaaaaat?" Jeongguk's mouth gaped open and close like a fish. Taehyung nodded, not
at all fazed by what he just said.

"I was just practicing what I was gonna say, Jeon," The older simply shrugged. Jeongguk
swore he saw him smirk, but before he could call him out, he was focused again.

"Are you hard now, Jeongguk?"

"Huh? N-no, pfft, me? Hard? You gotta try harder than gay porn," He scoffed, staring straight
ahead at the screen, but of course, Taehyung chose this time to look at him, and fuck, it was
too intense for him.

"Stop that. This is a teaching opportunity."

"So if this is a teaching opportunity, does that mean I can ask questions?" Jeongguk did not
like where this was going, but he nodded anyways.

And honestly, he probably shouldn't have agreed to it because right after Taehyung turned off
the video, he climbed right onto his lap. Jeongguk swallowed, internally freaking out for two
reasons. One, this was supposed to be payback from this morning, and two, holy shit
his glorious ass was on his dick.

Fuck, he was screwed.

"If I do this to someone, will it make them hard?" Taehyung asked, and Jeongguk wasn't so
sure if he was pretending to be innocent at this point.

"Depends on the person," Jeongguk swallowed, his hands finding their way to Taehyung's
hips, holding him in place because he knew damn well if he moved, something would
happen.

"Like the video, the guy did this when he was sitting on the top's lap. Can you tell me if it
works?"

Fuck, Jeongguk bit down roughly on his tongue, the taste of metal in his mouth when he felt
Taehyung roll his hips down on his lap. He instantly winced, feeling heat rush down to a
place where it shouldn't.

"It worked didn't it?" Taehyung asked, batting his eyelashes down at him. Jeongguk kept his
mouth shut, knowing he would say something stupid if he talked.

Taehyung carefully ran his hands down his chest, just like the guy did in the video, his touch
leaving burns behind in its wake. Jeongguk was losing brain cells at this point, gritting down
on his teeth when the older pressed his ass purposefully against his straining dick.

"Taehyung what are you—," He was instantly cut off by the older's lips, and fuck, his senses
were basically overwhelmed to the point of no return.

His eyes were wide for a moment when he realized Taehyung was leading the kiss. He
supposed it was fair to let him take control, and he did, his hands sliding down his hips and to
the curve of his lovely ass that Jeongguk couldn't help but squeeze like a good friend would.

Taehyung was getting better at this. He kissed him sloppily, hastily, his hands cupping the
sides of Jeongguk's neck as he pulled him closer to him, coercing his lips open for his tongue
to enter his mouth.

Oh, so he was a quick learner, too.

Fuck, he couldn't get enough when the older rolled his hips down on his aching hard-on,
everything about him clouding his head. He slid his hands up his shirt, feeling his cool, tiny
waist against his calloused touch.

Taehyung popped his lips off of Jeongguk's, copying what he did this morning, and who
knew it felt that good. He kissed down his jaw, lips lowering down to his neck. He alternated
between wet, open-mouthed kisses to playful nips that had Jeongguk gripping at his ass to
steady him on his lap.

Fuck, this wasn't supposed to happen— none of this was even planned. The whole plan
wasn't to kiss his friend more than once, but here they were making out on the floor by the
couch and giving each other platonic hickeys!

What a wonderful fucking friendship this was!

Jeongguk groaned lowly, eyes nearly rolling to the back of his head when Taehyung's nice ass
brushed against his throbbing dick again, obviously teasing him with no shame.

Fuck, he wanted some sort of friction, but he knew that was going too far. Jeongguk inhaled
sharply when Taehyung's teeth bit into his skin, the sting instantly being lapped up by
Taehyung's tongue.
And he left a hickey too. He really did unleash a fucking monster.

But that wasn't what Jeongguk was concerned about. He felt something hard against his
stomach, and it took his lazy mind to register what it was until he made Taehyung stop.

"L-looks like you're hard, too Specs," He swallowed, not at all expecting to see a fucking
dick imprint that huge, straining against his sweatpants. Holy shit.

Specs was hung. That was impossible.

Jeongguk pushed him off of him, ignoring the weird look Taehyung gave him as he
scrambled to his room. When he found what he was looking for, he saw Taehyung was
staring at the laptop screen, lips swollen and his dick still probably hard.

"Why did y— why the hell do you have a ruler?" The older asked, watching as Jeongguk
joined him on the ground and whipped out his trusty ruler.

"Have you ever measured your dick?" He asked, watching Taehyung nearly choke on his
words. He carded his fingers through his blue hair, eyebrows scrunched together.

"No? Why should I?" Taehyung frowned.

"You're seriously telling me you've never gotten curious while you yanked your wank?"
Jeongguk waved the ruler at him. Taehyung's features went red again, but it the older was
way better at containing himself than other.

"Kim Taehyung, don't tell me you've never beat off."

"I did! I just don't do it often because...," The older drifted off. Jeongguk, who was very much
impatient, poked his knee with the ruler, trying his hardest not to look at his raging erection.

"Why?" Jeongguk said, scowling. "Why not?"

"Because it's sensitive alright!" Oh my fuck.

"That's the whole fucking point stupid!" Jeongguk groaned, wanting to bash his head into a
wall. "All dicks are sensitive."

"B-but mine is more sensitive," He murmured, and holy shit, Jeongguk didn't know why he
found that hot but he ignored it.

"Are you seriously trying to measure my dick!"

"Yes!" Jeongguk tried to put the ruler down, but the older swatted him away. "You can't have
a bigger dick than me!"

"Is that what's concerning you right now?" Taehyung said. Jeongguk nodded.

"Yes, now let me make this scientific discovery."

"Oh my god, no! You are not measuring my dick!" The older shouted, pushing his ruler away.
"I do not want to find out how big it is."

"Well I do! If it makes you feel better, last time I checked, I was around six or seven-ish?"

"JEONGGUK SHUT UP!"

"C'mon aren't you curious?" He tried to reason with him, but he wasn't sure if it was his dick
controling his every will at the moment. Taehyung rolled his eyes.

"This is not a competition," Taehyung grumbled, but the younger wasn't having it. "Why does
it matter?"

"YOU CAN'T BE BIGGER THAN ME!"

"And that matters to you?" The older shouted back.

"Well hell yeah! Because if I'm gonna bottom for you, I don't want my ass destroyed!" Oops.
That wasn't exactly what he wanted to say.

"Y-You're gonna let me top you?" Jeongguk smacked his shoulder with the ruler, his face
practically on fire.

"No! Please take the damn ruler and measure your dick because I'm crying on the inside,"
The younger whispered, holding the ruler out for Taehyung to take. The older raised a
concerned eyebrow at him and took it.

"Fine. Just don't look at me," Taehyung muttered, and Jeongguk gratefully turned away,
wanting nothing but to erase his existence. They probably weren't going to talk about this
weekend ever again.

"Jeongguk," Taehyung said after some time. The younger muttered a sad 'what' as he turned
around to see Taehyung holding the ruler up.

"I don't know if I measure right but it's like 8 inches and roughly a fourth."

"Goodbye," Jeongguk stood up, wincing at the way his dick twitched at the sudden
movement.

"It was nice to know you."

"Wait comeback," Taehyung chuckled, reaching out to grab the younger before he left.
"C'mon, you can't be mad at me. I can't control my dick size."

"I'll be in the shower," The younger whispered, and with that, he left Taehyung alone to do
whatever he wanted with himself because at this point he didn't know what to do.

Part of him regretted doing this plan, and the other half honestly was deeply concerned for
him by the time this entire fiasco was over. Sure, the feelings things were a problem, but now
the state of his ass was going to be wrecked.
At this point, Jeongguk wasn't so sure if he could recover.
remember & forget

♡♡♡
 ♡♡♡

"There's somebody waiting for you," Nayeon said, standing by the entrance to the meeting
room with her hands folded over her lap. The boy lifted his gaze away from his phone, still
smiling from those ridiculous texts.

"Is it Jeongguk?" He asked, knowing the younger liked to drop by on the slow days.

Sometimes he brought food and boba, and the two of them sat there for hours, talking about
stupid things and cracking jokes until they were wheezing. Other times, Jeongguk would
drop by, kiss his cheek, put his head on the table, and take a nap.

Taehyung didn't really mind those moments as long as Jeongguk was there. Sure, he might be
annoying sometimes, but nothing could replace his company. It felt nice to have him there by
his side.

Made his day just a little bit more tolerable.

"Actually no. It's the setter on the volleyball team." Taehyung sat up in his chair, blinking
rapidly at the girl. That he didn't expect. He gulped, brushing his blue locks in a half-assed
attempt to fix his looks.

Park Jimin. His heart still fluttered at the thought of him, and the idea of him was ever so
perfect in his mind. He could picture his pretty smile, and the way his eyes turn into little
half-moons, which Taehyung could stare at and trace for hours if he got the chance.

But to be honest, it was somewhat weird, finally talking to him when he spent most of his
highschool days dreaming to even breathe in the same room as him for a couple minutes.

Now Jimin texted him almost every day, and the older kept asking him out, but Taehyung
simply wasn't ready for that yet so he denied him. He was just too nervous, knowing there
was a potential for him to mess up and lose Jimin's attention he wanted so badly.

The longer he spent practicing with Jeongguk, the more confident he felt, and he really, really
wanted to date Jimin for a long time. Sure, he was avoiding him lately, and the last time he
saw him was at that volleyball game, but all of this was for the right reason.

Jimin didn't remember him, and when he finally did, he would date Park Jimin and be perfect
enough for his standards. There was nothing else that could possibly change his mind.
Jeongguk was just a friend there to help him, and nothing more.

"The setter?" She nodded. "Let him in then."

Nayeon left the room, and in a couple moments, Park Jimin replaced her. He entered with his
hands slipped in his pockets, a crooked smirk on his pretty lips Taehyung just wanted to kiss,
and his blonde hair in effortless waves over his head.

"What brings you here?" Taehyung asked, gaze following the older as he sat down beside
him.

"You," Jimin winked at him, and frick, he swore his heart stopped. If the room were any
quieter, he knew Jimin could probably hear his heart hammer in the cavern of his chest.

"Okay, be serious," He tried to fight the smile on his mouth, teeth sinking onto his bottom lip.
"Why are you here?"

"I have to have a reason to see you?" Jimin asked, his eyebrows easing on his soft features.
"What if I want to see you just because?"

"Stop," Taehyung murmured, rolling his eyes. "I know you volleyball players. You guys
always want something."

"Oh really? I hope you're not comparing me to Jeongguk," He watched as the older pressed
his lips into a tight line, and immediately alarms went off in Taehyung's head. Wait, crap, he
probably shouldn't talk about Jeongguk at all.

"No, I'm not. Why would I?" He snorted, trying to wave it off, but he could still see the faint
irritation in Jimin's narrowed gaze.

"I heard you two were close," Jimin said, crossing his arms over the table, leaning foreward
in his seat.

"You did? You know we're just friends," Taehyung raised an eyebrow at him, adam's apple
bobbing nervously in his throat.

"Really? I thought you weren't into me because I was best friends with Jeongguk. I didn't
know he had any besides me, to be honest. Jeongguk doesn't really make friends," Jimin
shrugged. Taehyung, however, didn't understand what he meant.

"Oh! You didn't know that, did you? I've known him for years, and he isn't quite the friendly
person. Most of the time he's being fake just 'cause he doesn't want to be that person," The
blonde said cooly.

"Jeongguk's not like that," Taehyung murmured, the skin between his brows scrunching
together. "He's the sweetest person I've ever met."

"Sweetheart, that's an act. I've never seen Jeongguk genuine with anyone except me," He
chuckled lowly. "But I guess he could be fond of you for a... certain reason."
"What do you—," The younger of the two frowned, slightly confused by what he meant, but
Jimin simply shook his head, silencing him.

"Enough talk about Jeongguk," Jimin snapped softly, lips curving into an essence of a frown.
"I did not come here to talk to you about him when I could be practicing."

"He's irrelevant right now."

"Alright. If you say so," Taehyung said, swallowing. At that, Jimin's features eased, a smile
replacing the frown quicker than Taehyung could comprehend.

"Great! Well, tomorrow's our final game for the preseason championship. You're gonna be
there, right?" He didn't want to tell him Jeongguk begged him to come so he kept quiet,
nodding once.

"I was wondering if you wanted to wear my jersey! I have an extra one, and it's tradition for
every ace to give their jersey to somebody that matters to them!"

"You want me to wear your jersey? Like, the number 13?" Jimin nodded eagerly, giving him
a sugary smile. Taehyung licked his lips, not quite expecting that to be honest, but it was
Jimin— he just couldn't say no to him.

It wasn't like Jeongguk would be mad at him. The younger made jokes about Taehyung
wearing his jersey with his last name on it, but those were stupid jokes they made on a daily
basis. Jeongguk didn't mean it, and he knew Taehyung liked Jimin.

Jeongguk would understand, right?

"Okay. Sure. I'd love to wear your jersey at the game tomorrow," Taehyung said, telling
himself he was sure of this decision over and over in his head. The more he said it, the more
he believed it.

"Fantastic. You'd look amazing! Everyone would see that you're gonna be mine," Jimin
teased, not failing to erupt a thousand little butterflies in Taehyung's stomach.

"Yeah," He gathered all of his courage into a crooked smirk, feeling that familiar warmth
spread across his cheeks.

"But I think it's the opposite, doll."

"E-excuse me?" Jimin raised an eyebrow at him, eyebrows knitted together. Taehyung
channeled the confidence inside of him to sit straighter in his chair, the smirk he wore silently
teasing him.

"You heard me," Taehyung said, adjusting the cuffs to his white-button up. "Who said I was
yours?"

"I? I thought that was already—," Jimin swallowed, eyes slightly widening as he eyed the
younger up and down. Taehyung pushed his swivel chair out so that it was next to Jimin's,
leaning closer to the older.
He didn't know what he was thinking, really. He was running on what he wanted to do with
Jimin ever since he met him, and all the things that Jeongguk taught him.

Sure, they haven't gone on a date yet, but Taehyung wasn't letting this moment pass off.

"Really? You're letting yoursef believe that, doll?" The tip of his tongue flicked across his lip,
wettening the skin. "Sure, I'm wearing your jersey, but I'm gonna show everyone
that you're already mine."

"H-how so? I can't add anything to my uniform," The older scoffed, his jaw visibly
tightening. Taehyung rolled his eyes, reaching forward and playfully yanking at his tie.

"Who said I was gonna do something to your uniform?" Taehyung smirked, leaning back and
crossing his arms over his chest.

Jimin glanced back and forth between his tie and Taehyung, mouth slightly ajar, unsure what
to say to that. Maybe those lessons were paying off.

"W-who told you to be such a flirt?" Jimin cleared his throat, adjusting his tie, gaze focusing
solely on Taehyung.

"Nobody. I was just holding myself back," He said, carding his blue hair, touseling it.
Something flashed in Jimin's narrowed gaze, making his heart twitch.

"And you expect me to wait when you're ready? I'm not patient," The blonde scoffed, subtly
eyeing him up and down. At that, Taehyung could feel his ego swell in his chest.

"Well you gotta learn, doll. I don't like brats," He shrugged nonchalantly. "I'll accept your
offer when I want to."

"I'm done with you," Jimin snapped, getting up from his chair. Taehyung rolled his eyes,
shooting out of his chair, hand flying out to wrap around the older's tiny wrist. He pulled him
back, smirking at the way Jimin's eyes widened.

"Confident. I don't remember you being this way," He murmured, and it took a moment for
Taehyung to realize what he meant. His expression softened, and fuck, his heart was on the
verge of palpitating.

"You remember me?" Taehyung whispered, chest squeezing, senses drowned out by the
incessant throbbing of his heart against his ribs.

He remembered him.

"Of course," Something flickered across Jimin's features, but Taehyung couldn't quite
decipher it.
"I always did. I was just playing with you that time," He smirked up at him, his other hand
tucking aside his blonde hair.

"I remember we used to work together. Is that what you wanted to hear?" Jimin lifted an
eyebrow at him.
"Yeah," Taehyung found himself saying without thinking. He couldn't hear anything over the
sound of his heartbeat thrashing around in his ears. At thay, Jimin's lips eased into the
prettiest smile.

"Not so confident now, are you?" Jimin chuckled, freeing his wrists from his grisp. Taehyung
held his breath, watching as his hand slid up his chest, his small fingers curling around his
own tie.

"What else do you want?" The younger murmured, struggling to even his breathing when
Jimin stepped closer. The blonde had to tilt his head up to meet his gaze, and honestly it
melted his heart. He swallowed, wondering where the hell this was going.

"For you to go on a date with me," He said, vowels dripping in honey as he traced a little
heart over Taehyung's chest. "I won't take 'no' as answer."

"Well you gotta convince me first, doll," Taehyung chuckled, slightly tilting his head to the
side, trying to get a better look at the older. He was gorgeous up close, and fuck, he wanted
him.

He waited so long to have this moment, and now it was happening. The Park Jimin was
inches away from him, and if he just reached out, touched him, then his dreams would be his
new reality.

"Convince you? You just want so much from me," The older pouted, his other hand reaching
up to pat Taehyung's cheek. His touch was cold against his skin, enough to send a chill down
the curve of his spine.

He wasn't lying. He did. "What else do you want me to do? Get on my knees and beg?" Jimin
teased, though he missed the way his jaw clenched. "Why the fuck would I do that for you?"

"Fine. I'll go on a date with you," Taehyung didn't know why he didn't fight back, stand his
ground just a little while longer. But he supposed it was the way Jimin held all the strings to
his heart and tangled them in ways that tugged at it, played with it.

"Good," He smiled brightly, tugging his tie so their faces were a mere couple inches apart.
"You're gonna be my date to the preseason banquet!"

The banquet. Wait, wasn't that the one Jeongguk asked him to go to? Before Taehyung open
his mouth and explain that he couldn't do that, the older's smile fell from his lips.

"Second thoughts already?" He murmured, words dragging slowly as his grip around
Taehyung's tie tightened. The younger simply shook his head, gaze fixating on Jimin's
flawless features he remembered spending hours gushing about when he was ugly.

"It's a date," Jimin said, his lips hovering over his.

"You gonna kiss me, doll?" Taehyung teased, swearing everything seemed to stop around
him.
"I was thinking about it," The older chuckled gently. "Why should I? You don't deserve it
since you kept me waiting."

"If you won't kiss me, I won't wear your jersey," He said smoothly, the edge of his lip
quirking upward. "And I won't tell you what I meant by showing everyone that you're gonna
be mine."

"Oh? We're gonna be like this, aren't we?" Jimin giggled, his other hand gently smacking
Taehyung's chest. "Since you're so desperate." He rolled his eyes, a smile playing on his lips
as he leaned forward.

And Taehyung kissed him.

He tasted sweet, his plump lips like heaven on his own. His hand flew up to the side of
Jimin's neck, cupping it as he pulled him closer, wanting to taste every inch of him he could
reach but he knew he had more chances to do that later.

He bit playfully at the older's bottom lip, teasing the skin between his teeth before pulling
away with a soft pop. He glanced down at Jimin, who was staring up at him with a smile. He
released his tie, gently pushing him back.

"You gonna tell me what it is?" Jimin asked, and for some reason a part of Taehyung's
stomach dropped when he stared a little too long at his face, trying to find that sparkle in his
eyes he was used to seeing in Jeongguk's.

He shook the thought out of his mind, masking his mild disappointment with a smirk, "I'll
meet you at the lockers at tomorrow's game."

"Fuck you," Jimin rolled his eyes, slowly sauntering backward to the door. "You're lucky
you're pretty."

"See you," Taehyung winked at him, and when the setter finally left his office, he let out the
breath he didn't know he was holding this entire time.

He collapsed back down on his swivel chair, leaning back as he spun aimlessly on it. It took
him a couple seconds to realize that holy frick, he did kiss Park Jimin, and Park Jimin
actually kissed him back!

"Holy shit," He whispered, the curse foreign on his lips but at that moment, it summed the
jumble of thoughts in his head. He tried to calm his heart bashing against his chest, but all of
it was fruitless.

In that singular moment he didn't think would ever happen but did, nothing else seemed to
matter. Not even his phone which went off with notifications from Jeongguk.

Park Jimin remembered him, and he kissed him. Who knew things were actually working out
like they were supposed to.
 ♡♡♡

"Ready to beat Ansan Prep ass?" Yugyeom roughly patted Jeongguk's back as the team were
in the locker room, getting ready for their game in an hour.

"You know they're an easy team to beat," San said, standing shirtless by his locker as he dug
for his special Libero jersey. "Those guys can't block for shit."

"Exactly. That is why we are gonna destroy their asses!" Yugyeom said, ignoring the way
Jeongguk snorted. He pulled off his shirt, replacing it for his black jersey— 12.

"Oh that bracelet. Jeon you gotta remove it," San said, but the older merely gave him a dirty
look and he quieted down.

While he was shrugging on his jersey, he noticed his spare one hanging with his Olympic
team jacket. His eyebrows eased on his features as he quickly put his shirt on to grab it off
the hanger.

"Ah, do you have a special someone to give that to?" Yugyeom asked, leaning over to get a
better look at his white jersey. "Did you forget tradition already?"

"No, I didn't," Jeongguk murmured, thumbing the material. He knew traditions well. Give
your jersey to a person that matters to you, and apparently it helped you play better.

He didn't really believe in that bullshit, and the aces of the team were only allowed to do it.
That being Jimin and him, but he hadn't seen Jimin around yet. The guy was probably
running late, though he knew Jimin never gave his jersey away either.

And for the last few years he was on the team, he didn't give anyone his jersey and they
played just fine. Or well, he did.

But for some reason, a part of him wondered if he should give it to Specs. Taehyung kinda
mattered to him, and even though he didn't believe in any of that superstitious crap, he
guessed it wouldn't hurt to try it.

"You gonna give it to your hot nerd boyfriend if he shows up?" Yugyeom asked, wiggling his
eyebrows at him. Jeongguk glanced up from the jersey, frowning.

"Boyfriend? I don't have one," Jeongguk said, a little confused when Yugyeom and San
exchange knowing looks.
"I have a friend. Not a boyfriend."

"Uh, yeah you do. That guy you walk around with to literally every class. The student council
president," Yugyeom said, leaning against the locker. Jeongguk, on the otherhand, put the
jersey aside and was tying his shoes on.

"Oh that guy? I remember him," San said. At that, Jeongguk's head whipped up, brows drawn
together. He expected some mean shit and was ready to defend Specs, but San merely
grinned.

"He helped tutor me in math! Really nice guy, and I thought his glasses were pretty cool."
Oh.

"His name was Kim Taehyung, and I've heard he got some insane makeover?" San glanced
between them, slightly confused why Jeongguk was staring at him.

"You remember Kim Taehyung?" Jeongguk asked, ignoring the weird look Yugyeom was
giving him.

"Of course I do," San nodded. "He was chill. I don't understand why so many people judged
him for his looks and immediately trashed him."

Jeongguk didn't say anything. He tried to hide the smile twitching at his lips as he pulled his
knee pads on, glad to hear there were some nice people out there that appreciated Taehyung
for what he was worth.

"You should give him your jersey," San blurted out. "I don't know what you two are, but he
looks like he means something to you. Who knows, he might give you some goodluck~."

These guys were fucking idiots, Jeongguk thought, rolling his eyes. "That stuff s'not true."

"So? Still do it," Yugyeom grabbed his extra jersey and shoved it toward Jeongguk once he
stood up, nearly making him stumble back.

"Cuff him already. Make him yours."

"Don't ever say that shit again," Jeongguk grumbled, folding the jersey over in his hands.
"You watch way too many dramas."

"No I don't," Yugyeom snorted. "I just believe in true love, and I'm getting those vibes from
ya'll."

"Yoo me too dude!" San gasped. The two of them reached over a poor freshman changing
and high-fived. Jeongguk was not at all impressed.

"Honestly Jeon, somebody could write a 200k word slowburn on you two, and I'd read it,"
Yugyeom said, earning a weird look from the older.

"What? I'm just saying. You guys would be cute."

"C'mon. This is literally fate telling you to give him your jersey and show how much you
care!" Yugyeom reached over and squeezed his shoulder, completely disregarding the disgust
on Jeongguk's features.

"You need to lay it off on your dramas," Jeongguk muttered, but eventually he gave in. "Fine.
But to make this clear, we are friends. F-R-I-E-N-D-S."

"Sure, and San is not a fucking twink." Yugyeom rolled his eyes, flinching when San hurled a
towel in his direction.

"Oh shit! Jeon, guess who's standing by the locker room door! The love of your—,"

"Shut up before I spike a volleyball to your face," He grumbled, but of course, it didn't stop
them.

The two idiots ran behind him, basically shoving Jeongguk to go and pursue Taehyung. He
almost told them to get a grip, but when he finally looked over to where they were pointing
at, every thought of his crashed to an abrupt stop.

There he was— Kim Taehyung, his friend, or pal, or whatever the fuck they were. He was
looking around, but Jeongguk couldn't help notice what he was wearing. He actually took his
advice up for once on what to wear.

He was in one of Jeongguk's black hoodies that he gave him and matched it with a pair of
ripped skinny jeans that hugged his thighs. Too bad at this angle Jeongguk couldn't see his
glorious ass, but there was no way he was going to admit that out loud.

Nobody needed to know what they did together, and honestly he didn't need to pop a boner
right now.

Besides that, he noticed his blue hair was pushed back by a black bandana, loose strands
framing his face. He wasn't even wearing his glasses either, so he assumed he wore contacts.

"Holy fuck he's hot," San murmured. "Ow! The fuck was that for?" He yelped, rubbing the
back of his head where Yugyeom smacked him.

"His ass is reserved for Jeongguk, and Jeongguk only," Yugyeom declared.

Jeongguk really hated his team members sometimes.

Taehyung, however, didn't stand there for too long and went off the other way. Jeongguk's
brows furrowed, wondering where he was going.

"Go! Give him your jersey before he runs away!" Yugyeom pushed Jeongguk forward.
"Shoot your fucking shot."

"I play fucking volleyball not basketball you actual deformed pickle," Jeongguk snapped,
trying to shove him off, but it wasn't so easy being held in place by a libero and a middle
blocker that was basically a wall.
"So what! We have a fucking net too! Same thing!" He said, shoving Jeongguk again and
finally letting go. He spun around, giving them death glares.

"Dude stop staring at us. I know I'm hot and San is a prepubescent teen, but Taehyung is
going away!"

Yugyeom gestured him to go, but Jeongguk didn't quite budge. He wasn't so sure if he should,
and Yugyeom wasn't exactly helping.

"I will make sure Jimin won't set to you," Yugyeom threatened, which eventually made the
older cave in.

"Fine," Jeongguk sighed, turning back around to go down the same hall Taehyung went. "I'll
go." And with that, he went, trying to block out the cheers his teammates gave him as he sped
up his pace.

Jeongguk knew they were fucking idiots, and as much as he wanted to hate them, his lips
betrayed him. A smile unfolded itself over his mouth, staying put despite Jeongguk's best
efforts to pack it away.

He glanced down at his jersey, guessing maybe it didn't hurt to ask Taehyung if he wanted to
wear it. After all, he shouldn't freak out— they were friends. It wasn't like a sudden marriage
proposal.

Plus he couldn't help but wonder what Taehyung would look like wearing his jersey.

Of course, his thoughts remained PG, and the image that formed in his mind beat any other
dirty thought (beside the ones about Taehyung's fantastic ass).

Imagine, whenever he looked out to the crowd after a kill, Taehyung would be cheering for
him, wearing his jersey with his number and last name on it. In that moment, he would be the
only thing that mattered— in a platonic way.

Maybe Taehyung could be his lucky charm.

Just as Jeongguk turned the corner, he stopped, frowning at a weird breathy sound that surely
wasn't supposed to happen in a locker room. It didn't take him long to know it was a moan,
but who would be moaning?

It was too high-pitched to be Taehyung's moans. He knew what they sounded like from the
last time they made out. Jeongguk could identify it anywhere if he got the chance (not in a
weird way).

Curious, he decided to glance over the corner of the lockers, expecting to see stupid freshmen
getting nasty before a volleyball game. He was ready to break it up and threaten them to get
out, or else he would report them to the coach like he usually did.

He loved seeing their scared reactions. Freshmen were literal idiots.

But it wasn't freshman that he saw. It was Jimin, being pressed up against locker, and it didn't
take him long to realize who the person that was pining him with their face buried in his neck
was.

The blue hair was a dead give away.

Jeongguk stood there, stunned as he hid his jersey behind his back. He swallowed thickly,
noticing over Taehyung's hoodie was Jimin's jersey 13, and his last name PARK on his back.
Jeongguk blinked, hoping he was seeing things, but he knew that wouldn't work.

His stomach dropped.

Jimin's eyes were hooded as he let out airy moans, his small hands grasping at Taehyung's
hair, pulling at while Specs sucked purple hickies down his neck.

Before Jeongguk could leave, his gaze met Jimin's, and the older merely smirked at him. He
winked, knowing damn well what he doing, and that was enough to piss Jeongguk off.

His jaw clenched, teeth trembling as he gritted them together, blood practically boiling. Jimin
kept his eyes on him the entire time, a sly smile on his lips as he moaned louder for him to
hear.

Fuck, Jeongguk couldn't stand there, watching Specs do that to somebody that wasn't... him,
yet his legs refused to even move. He witnessed Jimin push his Specs off of him, looking up
at him before leaning forward, kissing him on the lips.

Jeongguk didn't know why he felt so dizzy. It was as if a wave of nausea crashed over him
and yanked him under without any warning. He wasn't supposed to feel like this; he knew
this was going to happen.

He knew Taehyung never liked him. They were just friends, yet standing there, watching this
go down was enough to have his insides twisting into knots.

There was no fucking way he was giving him his jersey.

His final straw was when Jimin started to trail kisses down Taehyung's jaw just like he did
and leave a hickey on his neck the same way Jeongguk did. He squeezed his eyes shut,
inhaling sharply to get a grip of himself and turned the other way, leaving.

He ran back to their main lockers, keeping his head down. He brushed past Yugyeom and
San, not in the fucking mood to dea with their questions as he went back to his locker. His
teammates silenced when he threw his locker open, the metal crashing against the other
lockers, echoing throughout the room.

Jeongguk shoved his jersey inside, seeing nothing but red. He slammed the door shut, unable
to meet the eyes of anyone— not even Yugyeom and San.

"Meet me on the court," Jeongguk murmured, unable to control his breathing, his hands
coiling into fists by his sides.
Everyone in the room murmured in agreement, watching as Jeongguk stormed out of the
locker room without another word.

"What happened?" Jimin came out, breathless while he adjusted his jersey to see his
teammates standing in a circle, nobody saying a word.

"Did I miss anything?" He batted his eyelashes innocently at them, pretending to be

genuinely lost.

Yugyeom and San glanced at one another, both sporting uneasy expression. They weren't the
only ones to notice the line of hickies, flowers of purple, red and pink blossoming on the side
of Jimin's neck.

It wasn't the first time he went to a game like this, but Yugyeom and San weren't stupid.

"Nothing. We're just heading out," Yugyeom smiled, patting Jimin's shoulder, eyeing the
hickies on his neck with distaste. He glanced over at the team, gesturing at them to follow
them.

All Yugyeom and San knew, was that, thanks to Jeongguk being angry, this game was going
to be horrifying.
 controlled chaos & messes

♡♡♡

Jeongguk scored twenty points on his own.

His teammates knew where this was going. When he was angry, there was no stopping
Jeongguk. Nobody else could get set to, and all they could do was hope there would at least
be some sort of rally.

Kill after kill, he destroyed any chance for the other team to get a point in. All of his irritation
channeled into his palm, forcing the volleyball past the fingers of middle blockers, ripping
their defense apart.

Nobody talked him, fuck, nobody dared to approach Jeongguk whenever he was in the zone.
Despite the fatigue gnawing at his knees, his palms reddened and numbed, sweat slicking his
entire body, and his uneven breathing on the brink of suffocating him, everyone knew.

Jeon Jeongguk was untouchable when enraged.

Veins protruded from his arms, trembling, aching beneath the sheen of sweat that coated each
chiseled muscle. Adrenaline surged through every inch of his body, powering his every
move, devouring him.

The crowd's screams melted into ringing static in his ears. All he could focus on was hitting
that fucking ball over and over again until his hand print was on that ball. But that wasn't the
only thing that stole his attention.

On Jimin's neck were hickies. Hickies given to him by Specs, and it was fucking impossible
to not see them.

They were in Jeongguk's line of sight— the splotches of dark purples blending into Jimin's
fair skin. Every time his gaze fell on them, a scream teared through his throat, calling the ball
for himself, wanting to unleash his fucking agitation on a kill.

He wasn't so sure why he was mad in the first place. Parly it was because Taehyung lied to
him; he was meeting Jimin behind his back. Then again, the point of their plan was to win
Jimin over, but he let himself foolishly believe he meant something to Taehyung.

In Taehyung's eyes, he felt more like his himself more than he did in his entire life. With
Taehyung, he wasn't lonely, and for once, he was happy to have a fucking friend, or whatever
they were.
A real friend that maybe valued him.

And there was the fact he let his defenses slip ever so easily around Taehyung like an
amateur. He was too fucking blinded by his emotions, feelings he should not have allowed
himself the privilege to feel.

He supposed it was a harsh reminder what their agreement was in the beginning. No feelings.
No friendships.

Nothing but a selfish deal.

With all honesty, he needed it. Needed to remember that what they were doing to each other
was nothing but meaningless.

"Jeongguk, you need to stop," Yugyeom murmured, approaching the older during a timeout.
They were already fifteen points into the second set, and all the points were of course, scored
by Jeongguk with the occasional point from their middle blockers.

"When people say they want you to aggressively spike a ball to their face, they were joking."

"You're seriously going to injure your palm if you don't calm down," San handed him an ice
pack, forcefully grabbing his hitting hand and placing it on his vibrant red palm.

Jeongguk winced, trying to take it back, but the libero was too stubborn. San gave him a
death glare, challenging him to pull away, and eventually he gave in with a roll of his eyes.

"Thank you," San muttered, "you violent rabbit."

"Let others get a chance, cap. You need to save yourself for the rest of the season," Yugyeom
tried to reason with him as Jeongguk hung his head, staring hard at the floor while San iced
his hand.

"I know what Parker over there did wasn't cool, but you should ease up a bit. Talk to
Taehyung about it. It could be some misunderstanding," The younger sighed, lowering his
voice only for Jeongguk to hear.

"Honestly, I don't think Taehyung meant it."

"There's nothing to talk about," Jeongguk gritted his teeth together, glancing up briefly to see
Jimin staring calmly at him.

"And he meant it," He added softly, hurt lacing his gentle words.

"Dude, he literally got hickies from your man," He rolled his eyes, not hearing him. "I know I
shipped ya'll but I change my mind. That's some fucked up shit right there."

"Yugs, not the time," San scolded him, elbowing his shoulder. "What he's saying, is that you
need to calm down and tak—,"
"—Get your fucking act together Jeon," Jimin cut in, cutting off San, his words silencing the
entire team. Jeongguk's head whipped up, gaze falling on Jimin who was staring at him
boredly.

"This is elementary behavior. I thought you'd be more mature."

"Me? Mature? Fucking look at you, Chim," Jeongguk snarled, swatting San away from him,
seething red. "Who the fuck shows up to games with hickies?"

"I didn't ask for these. Taehyung gave them to me," Jimin merely shrugged. Jeongguk tried to
step forward, but Yugyeom and San held him back.

"And why are you so heated, Ggukie? It's not like he's yours," The blonde said, lips curling
into a false frown.

"He's interested in me, remember?"

Jeongguk said nothing, knowing his words were the truth he couldn't deny. He inhaled
sharply, feeling his heart squeeze in his chest. He swept the faces of his teammates, jaw
clenched tight a muscle visibly twitched beneath his sweat-drenched skin as he breathed
heavily.

"Set a better example for your team," Jimin snapped calmly, features unmoving. "You're the
captain. Learn to control your emotions, but if you can't,"

"Why call yourself a fucking leader?"

"Parkson that's enough," Yugyeom started, but the shorter boy hand shot up, silencing him.

"No, he needs to listen. If he wants to get personal, he needs to speak up," Jimin spat, and for
a moment he swore he meant something else. "Right now, your feelings are invalid on this
court. Get. Your. Shit. Together."

Jimin was right. He was right. Jeongguk swallowed, shoving Yugyeom and San's grip on him
off to take a step closer to the older, words loaded like bullets on his tongue. Jimin glared up
at him, arms crossed tightly over his chest.

"What are you doing, Chim?" He found himself saying instead, his words breathy as they
slipped past his lips. Jimin eyed him up and down, mouth fluttering into a grimace.

"I'm not setting to you anymore."

"You can't do that to me," Jeongguk growled, shaking his head furiously. "I'm the fucking
captain."

"Right now, you don't sound like one," Jimin bit back. Jeongguk stood straighter, ready to
argue but the setter seemed to have already made up his mind.

"Face it, Jeongguk," He murmured, shoving past him and returning to the court when the
referees blew the whistle, signifying the end of the timeout.
"You're nothing without me."

The other team was pooling onto the court, getting back into position. Even his own
teammates were taking their post, but before Jeongguk could leave with Yugyeom, San
grabbed his shoulder, stopping him. Right before he could argue, he noticed he was already
replaced.

"You should cool down, Jeongguk. Let us handle it now," San murmured, pulling Jeongguk
back to the dreaded bench. He glanced back and forth between the court and Jimin, fuming.

"I need to get out there," Jeongguk spat, desperation suddenly lacing his tone, "You don't get
it. Volleyball is the only thing I have going for me, San. You can't just take that away
from me."

You can't take volleyball from me. I already let him take Taehyung.

"And we aren't. We're just saying sit down and take a breather. Jimin not setting to you will
only piss you off more," San said, brows furrowed.

"You aren't fucking listening to me!"

Jeongguk scoffed, rolling his eyes. He wanted to argue, demand that the coach put him back
in his rightful position as their wing hitter, but he noticed everyone in the entire gym was
staring at him. He sucked in a shaky breath, realizing he was keeping the game from going.

Somewhere in the crowd, he could feel Taehyung staring at him, asking him silently what
was wrong.

Fuck, don't think about him like that.

"I am. But we need you to calm down. When you do, I promise to talk to coach into letting
you in, alright? Just please, sit," San tugged his arm, tone serious.

Jeongguk swallowed, finally giving in to the libero. He exhaled in frustration, crashing down
on the bench, the feeling foreign. In all his years of playing, never was he accustomed to
sitting on the sidelines.

And yet, here he was, sitting on the bench while he watched Jimin set to another player that
wasn't him.

What more was Jimin going to take from him?

Eventually, they won the game with ease, and it didn't really shock him to be honest. Their
team was the best out of the entire prefecture, but what irked him was the fact he didn't play.
He spent the rest of the game, sitting, but there was nothing he could do about it.

Back in the lockerroom, he ignored his teammates celebrating around him, bolting straight to
his locker to shower and change. All he wanted to do was try and forget about his shitty
mood while he eased the burning in his fatigued muscles, but he just couldn't focus on
anything else.
Taehyung plagued his mind, and those hickies. Fuck, those hickies. He needed to get a grip of
himself, but even when he closed his eyes that was all he saw.

"Woah, Jeongguk," Yugyeom said as he peeled his jersey off, the cool air in the lockerroom
stinging his overheated skin. He rubbed his palm, wincing slightly at the tenderness as
bruises began to sprout on his skin.

"What?" Jeongguk asked tiredly, holding his hands out for Yugyeom. The younger turned his
arms over, gaze hardened when he showed Jeongguk the little speckles of bruises dotting his
arms. Funny. He never got bruises.

"That bracelet really hurt your arms," Yugyeom murmured, releasing his grip from
Jeongguk's wrists. "You need to take it off."

Jeongguk opened his mouth to tell him he couldn't, that there was no way he could take the
blue beads off. He stared down at it, wincing when he peeled it off his wrist, the bracelet
digging into his circulation from being repeatedly hit with a ball.

The skin beneath it was bruised and blueish in tone, and he supposed he probably shouldn't
play with a bracelet on— now that was stupid. Part of him didn't want to take it off, knowing
that was all of Specs that he gave to him.

It was a piece, not the entire person, yet it still meant something to him. Yet the other half
knew he had to take it off to protect himself. He couldn't afford to get hurt again. Jeongguk
stood there, rolling the beads between his fingers, mind torn apart.

He took it off.

Sighing, he shoved it into his pants pocket hanging out of his locker and stormed away
toward the showers before the regret could devour him anymore than it already did.

♡♡♡

Jeongguk didn't like attending parties, but of course, Namjoon coerced him into coming
anyways.
They weren't ragers; if they were, his dad would find out, and they would all be screwed. Call
it controlled chaos bottled in Namjoon's penthouse dorm. The music wasn't blasted, and
people made sure to stay leveled, but people got drunk off their asses.

And although he hated drinking, Jeongguk was one of those people— to an extent.

Even though they won, he still felt like he lost.

He leaned against the open doorway to the kitchen, third beer bottle in his clutch as he
surveyed the dorm. Most of the people were athletes of all kinds, others were leadership kids,
some were popular party goers, and the rest were just random faces.

Yugyeom and San never went to these parties, and when Jeongguk invited them after the
game, they simply declined and said they were going to go back to their dorm. Jeongguk
didn't force them of course; he wasn't a total asshole.

It would have been nice to have somebody to talk to.

Yoongi and Namjoon ignored him at parties despite the fact they begged him to go to them.

When Jimin and he were still friends, they spent their time talking in the corner, drunk off
their asses and laughing about incredibly stupid jokes. It felt nice to have a friend without
worrying about anything else.

That was the past, and the last time they were drunk was the reason they were in this mess.

Jeongguk took a swig of beer, realizing Jimin was nowhere to be seen. He wondered if he
went with Taehyung some place, and a part of him worried about Jimin taking advantage of
the inexperienced boy, but Taehyung seemed to be doing well on his own.

He wasn't sure if it was the alcohol affecting him, but he supposed the bitterness in his mouth
was because of Specs choosing Jimin.

Taehyung. He couldn't stop thinking about him even if he filled his system with alcohol,
hoping to just clear his thoughts and exist without a worry, yet he couldn't. His mind,
his heart wouldn't let him.

Specs choosing Jimin was default at the beginning of this. Fuck, he knew Taehyung wasn't
going to give a shit about him, and yet, he carelessly let his feelings get involved. Let himself
become his friend, knowing damn well that wouldn't end on good terms.

Jeongguk wasn't a fucking idiot; he knew something was different when he kissed Specs that
first time.

It wasn't anything cheesy, or cliche like a epiphany about how much he loved him. It was
nothing like that, and of course, he viewed Specs as a friend, but his body wanted the other
thing.

He found himself wanting to touch Taehyung, to kiss him, which wasn't good. He couldn't
treat Specs like another fuck just because he was sexually attracted to him. That wasn't right.
They were friends.
And he could just imagine the look of hurt flash across Taehyung's features when he told him
all he could think about was fucking him.

"Hey, I knew you would come!" He heard Namjoon shout over the collective chatter of
people crammed into the room. Jeongguk glanced up, swallowing when he realized it was
Jimin, but he wasn't alone.

Jimin and Taehyung.

What a fucking great surprise.

Jeongguk's gaze met Jimin's for a brief moment, and he could of sworn the blonde took a step
closer to Taehyung, sparing him an all-knowing smirk. He sighed, rolling his eyes and
slipped into the kitchen, getting away before his own lungs could suffocate him.

There was a couple people in the kitchen, though it wasn't as crowded as the main living
space. He took his place by the kitchen counters, leaning against one as he swirled the
remaining beer in his bottle, debating whether or not to chug it.

Right before he could chug it, somebody tapped his shoulder.

"You're Jeongguk right? The ace?" It was a girl. He looked her over, pressing the rim of the
bottle to his lips.

She was shorter than him, small breasted, had long black hair that fell to below her chest and
a face full of makeup complimenting the school's colors.

Not exactly his type, and he wasn't in the mood to fuck around, but he supposed he could use
some company even if he wasn't going to listen to her the entire time.

"That's me," Jeongguk said, boredome lacing his words. A smile lit up her features as she
stepped closer, snatching a beer can from behind him.

"I wanted to know you looked really cool at the game," She tilted her head up to look at him,
her lips pressed into a sultry smile as she opened the can.

"Some said you looked angry, but I thought you were just super focused. It was kinda hot."
Oh, she was flirting. Nice. So cool. He was totally interested!

"I guess," He decided to say 'fuck it' and threw his head back, letting the rest of the bitter
liquid travel down his throat. When he was done, he kept his gaze trained ahead, not in the
mood to meet her eyes.

She continued to talk on about volleyball and other things that honestly didn't interest
Jeongguk in the slightest bit. He kept nodding along, and somewhere he grabbed another beer
to replace his empty one, pretending that he was invested into their little chat.

Whatever her name was wasn't a bad person. She sounded sweet, and if he cared a bit more,
maybe he would have actually listened. Maybe, if Taehyung just didn't occupy the entirety of
his mind, he would give somebody else a chance.
Fill his thoughts with a person that he shouldn't regret wanting.

But he couldn't. The longer he stood there, the more his mind wandered to Taehyung,
wanting to know if he was okay, or at least if Jimin was taking care of him properly. All he
could think about was if he was safe— he wasn't a party goer at all.

Fuck, Specs probably didn't drink alcohol. Well, he mentioned the occasional wine glass with
his dads, but besides that Taehyung probaby wasn't a drinker.

Something tugged in Jeongguk's chest, and he knew he had to go find his friend, to ease the
worry eating him up, but he couldn't. He couldn't move, and there was no way he was going
to face Taehyung like this.

It was probably the alcohol talking anyways.

"A lot of people wonder why a guy like you is still single. You're literally perfect," She
chuckled, her hand resting on his chest.

"Anybody would want to get with you."

It took most of his willpower to not roll his eyes at her not-so subtle attempts to get him to
kiss her, or at least fuck her. Just as he was about to tell the girl he was going to go back to
his dorm, from the corner of his eyes there was no way he could miss Taehyung enter a room.

Taehyung was looking around, probably lost, and when he recognized Jeongguk, he waved at
him. But that wasn't what Jeongguk was focused on.

It was the hickies on his neck.

"Are you saying you want to get with me?" He swallowed, averting his gaze to the girl. He
didn't know what he was doing, but he could feel the older's eyes on him, watching.

"Was it not obvious enough for you?" The girl said, smirking. "Will you let me?"

"I'm thinking about it," He shrugged, taking another swig of beer for good measure. Fuck,
Specs was still staring at him. "You know what? Fuck it."

He kissed her— it was what she wanted anyways. His lips crashed against hers, moving
fluidly as the taste of beer stained his tongue. He slowly opened his eyes, glancing over
where Taehyung stood, his chest shamelessly doing flips when he realized he was watching.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer, deepening the kiss as their
tongues clashed. It was sloppy, and saliva dribbled around her chin, and he blamed it on his
fuzzy reaction, but his free hand slipped to her waist, knowing that the older was looking at
him.

It honestly didn't feel right. It wasn't Taehyung's waist.

They kissed one another hastily, as if she wanted to savor the moment for forever, but
Jeongguk really wasn't on the same page and tried to hurry it along. His teeth teased at her
lip, emitting a moan from the stranger, one that didn't quite settle right in his ears as he
devoured the sound.

Taehyung, on the otherhand, hadn't moved one bit.

He took it up a notch. He pulled away, trailing kisses behind her ear down to the soft curve of
her jaw. It was different, than Taehyung. When he kissed the older, his lips brushed against
the faintest scrape of stubble, and it drove him fucking wild.

But this wasn't Taehyung, and when he kissed her, his heart didn't race. It felt more of like a
chore, and the only thing driving him was her want, the beer thriving throughout his system,
and Taehyung's indecipherable stare.

Fuck, all he could think about was Taehyung as he kissed her. He could feel his soft skin
beneath his calloused touch and grab at his ass, his favorite ass, and nip at his neck to hear his
low, throaty moans. He could trace his nose against his throat, heart fluttering whenever he
giggled.

He could remember the shape of his gentle mouth on his, fitting like a missing puzzle piece.
The way he grabbed his jaw, letting him know he was there, ready to take control.

The way his moans filled him up, and all Jeongguk wanted to do was hear them beneath him.

He was kissing down her neck, sucking hickies on places he knew people could see.
Taehyung's stare was creating holes into his skin. And for some reason, it kept him going,
feeling oddly vulnerable when Taehyung stared at him like that.

Though he knew, he wanted Taehyung to keep staring. To see what he was doing. To feel, if it
was possible, what he felt when he saw him with Jimin.

A taste of payback, burning on his tongue, tugging at his heart. Taehyung. Taehyung.
Taehyung. His name drove him to the brink of insanity, and he wasn't sure what he was
feeling, what this was.

And soon, Taehyung left.

He pushed the girl off, rolling his eyes when he realized hers were squeezed shut, expecting
more that he couldn't give. He continued to drink from his bottle, ignoring the way she
tugged at his sleeve and focused directly on the spot where Specs stood, watching him.

A smirk twitched on his lips, and he allowed it to stretch across his slightly swollen mouth.
He was practically chaos controlled, but whenever it came to Taehyung, he was a disaster
waiting to happen.

This was a whole fucking disaster, but did Jeongguk care? He didn't know. He knew nothing
except he pictured kissing Taehyung the entire time, and his feelings were a fucking tangled
mess he couldn't bear navigating.

Perhaps it was the alcohol talking, and maybe it could have been the truth. Taehyung made
him feel everything and nothing at all.
"Why aren't you doing anything?" The girl asked, breathless. Jeongguk glanced over at her,
and a part of him wanted to tell her to fuck off, but he knew that was too mean.

"I think you should go back to your dorm," He said, the edge of the bottle pressing against his
lips. "It's late. You should go."

"You're drunk, and there could be some creeps."

She opened her mouth to speak up, but Jeongguk simply raised an eyebrow at her, and she
gave in. He sighed, enjoying the silence as he continued to drink, going from his fourth to his
fifth in a blur.

His shoulders seemed to relax despite the dull aching sensation lingering in his muscles. He
scoffed under his breath, examining his palm, eyeing the little bruises dotting his skin. It hurt
to move, but he ignored it.

Sighing, he slipped his palm into his pants pocket, frowning a little when his fingers brush
against beads. He dug around and managed to pull the blue bracelet out, thumbing the letters
carefully as he stared down at his palm.

Jeongguk swallowed, remembering the reason why he took it off. It was hurting him, but
somewhere in him wanted to wear it again. After all, Specs gave it to him.

Eventually, he slipped it back onto his wrist, telling himself he would be more careful next
time. A few minutes later, he pushed off the counter and left his drink, deciding maybe it was
his turn to go home while he could still walk.

When he entered the living room, he noticed his 'friends' crowded around the stupid pingpong
table Namjoon that he made Jeongguk beg his dad to let into his room. They were playing
beer pong, and at the other end was Taehyung and Jimin.

Jeongguk stood in the center, watching the way Specs had his arm draped over Jimin. He
wasn't drinking, and he supposed Taehyung was smart enough to not need him.

Fuck, what was he even thinking anymore? His head was a mess. He carded his fingers
through his hair, realizing there was no use in staying, and left.

♡♡♡
Jeongguk blinked rapidly, wondering what the fuck happened as he woke up on a bed that
certainly wasn't his. He squinted, head pounding as he felt something cool and wet on his
forehead.

He pushed himself onto his forearms, surveying the dark room, confused. He couldn't see
anything, for the room was too dim, and everything seemed to blend into the shadows.

Just as he was about to get up, a hand pushed down on his chest.

"Lie back down," A deep voice drawled, and it took him a moment to realize he was on
Taehyung's bed.

"Why am I here?" He let Taehyung's gentle touch remove the towel from his forehead and set
it on the sidetable beside them.

"You passed out on the couch, and I couldn't just leave you there," Taehyung propped himself
up to match Jeongguk's gaze, the younger trying to ignore the fact their chests were pressed
against one anotherms.

"So you brought me into your room?"

"Correct. Good observation skills," Taehyung rolled his eyes in the dark, though Jeongguk
could make out a smile if he focused enough.

"You know what happens in rooms right?" Jeongguk asked, glad to see he wasn't completely
shit-faced, but his veins were still humming.

"Yes, sleep," The older murmured, nudging his foot with his own. "You're just as dirty
drunk."

Jeongguk opened his mouth to argue, but there, in the darkness, his gaze caught something.
For a second, he thought they were shadows, but he wasn't that stupid.

It was the hickies.

He swallowed, silencing as he slowly reached out, fingers touching the hardened bone of
Taehyung's collarbones. He traced around one of the bruises, throat tight as he felt
Taehyung's gaze settle on him.

"Why aren't you asleep?" Jeongguk asked, voice softening as he pressed down on one of the
tender bruises, heart racing when Taehyung shivered beneath him.

"Because I'm waiting for you to sleep," Taehyung said. "You're drunk."

"Not anymore. I'm sober," It wasn't really a lie, but he could tell Taehyung raised an eyebrow
at him.

"What? My brain isn't fuzzy anymore."

"Well yeah, because I was taking care of you," The older murmured, his fingers curling
around the younger's wrist.

"You were what?" Jeongguk frowned, trying to keep his voice down when he glanced over at
the clock, seeing that it was three in the morning.

"You were burning up, so I panicked and tried to cool you down. We have a freaking test
tomorrow, so you owe me one," Taehyung whispered back.

"You should have let me perish."

"You were drunk, not dying on the battlefield."

"Let me perish when I want to," Jeongguk said, though he couldn't deny the way his heart
began to betray him and started to thump faster.

"No, I won't. You can't perish until you get into that Olympic team," Taehyung murmured,
easing his fingers as he took Jeongguk's palm into his own, gently running his thumb over the
bruises.

"You hurt yourself. I was worried."

"Why were you worried?" His voice got caught in his throat as he felt Taehyung trace little
shapes over his aching palm.

"Because I'm your roommate . Your friend," He said like it was obvious. "And I know very
well how much volleyball means to you." He swallowed.

"Please, stop hurting yourself. The game was scary to watch."

"Did I scare you?" The younger whispered, features easing when the older's brought his palm
to his face, gently pressing a kiss on one of the bruises.

"Kinda," Taehyung admitted, continuing to gently massage his palm. "Thought you were
gonna kill someone with a spike. Maybe even pop the ball."

"I'm sorry," Jeongguk said, "I didn't mean to scare you." Now that wasn't a lie.

"It's nothing," The older let go of his hand, his fingers resting against his chest. "You were
just in the zone. I get that. And if you want to talk about it, I'm right here."

Well he did want to talk about it, but how in the hell was he going to explain to his friend that
he didn't like it when he kissed Jimin. Gave him hickies.

It shouldn't have bothered him anyways; he knew that. Fuck, he really was a mess earlier that
night.

His breathing slowed as he stared at Specs, his cheek now leaning against his arm which he
bent beneath his head. His mind, for once, was oddly clear in the older's presence, yet the
confusion that stirred in his tummy remained.
What did he feel around Taehyung? Sure, he was a good friend, and he enjoyed his company.
Then there was the fact he wanted to fuck him, and also the fact that he kinda wanted his dick
in his ass, too.

Just for science, of course. Nothing else.

But did he really want it? He didn't know if it was just the inner need for sex raging in his
hormones, or he was just being an idiot.

Probably the latter, but it didn't stop him from running his hand up Taehyung's chest, the cusp
of his palm slotting against the side of his neck. He tilted Taehyung's head to the side, face
inching near his, feeling his breath tickle his cheek.

"You gonna kiss me again?" Taehyung murmured, his voice thick with something Jeongguk
didn't have the energy to analyze.

"Do you want me to?" Jeongguk asked, gently stroking his thumb over Taehyung's neck.

"Do you want to?" He raised an eyebrow at him.

"Kinda. Yeah," The younger whispered, lips hovering over his. "I want to."

And he did. He placed his lips hesitantly over the older's, shoulders relaxing as the sensation
of his mouth on his seemed to sharpen his sense. It was lazy, not at all rushed, their
exhaustion pouring into a gesture like this.

Jeongguk popped his lips off of Taehyung's, staring down at him from the angle he was at, his
hand now placed on his cheek. The older met his narrowed gaze, silently asking questions he
didn't have answrs to.

Is this what he really wanted from him? Might as well find out, Jeongguk thought as he
leaned down once more, capturing his lips into his own.

Something was different this time around, and he wasn't sure if it was the way they paused
every now and then, just listening to the sound of their breaths before moving their lips
languidly against one another's.

Then suddenly, his hands were gripping onto the older's face, pulling him closer, the blankets
rustling beneath his weight. The kiss deepened, his tongue pressing past his parted lips and
entering his mouth, tasting him as saliva messily dribbled down his chin.

Somewhere along the lines, Jeongguk ended up on top of him, feeling Taehyung's strong grip
hold onto his hips, holding him in place. He kissed him, needy, brows furrowed, wanting
more and more.

Heartbeat bashing against his chest, head splitting in to two, Jeongguk popped his lips off of
Taehyung's, a string of saliva connecting their kiss-swollen lips. He watched the older wipe
his chin, the string breaking as Taehyung's eyes fixated on him, and him only.

"Are you sure?" Jeongguk murmured, the words falling out before he could catch them.
"You know what you're doing," Taehyung said, sliding his fingers beneath his thin shirt.

"Do it. Teach me."

Jeongguk broke the contact, inching down further, feeling Taehyung's slightly hardened cock
against his ass. He inhaled sharply, peppering kisses down the older's neck, eyeing those
damn hickies with hatred as he left new ones, bigger ones on places only he could see.

His body acted on need, this want he couldn't quite figure out if actually did want it, but he
kept going, and soon Taehyung's shirt was off, forgotten on the floor.

He trailed kisses down his chest, glancing up at the older, waiting for a sign that he wanted
him to stop. Fuck, Taehyung's stomach was soft and smooth compared to his own, and he
couldn't help himself from leaving a hickey below his rib.

Jeongguk didn't think about anything else except doing this, fuck he needed this, and skipped
past the stupid build-up as he got down to Taehyung's waistband, impatient.

The older sat a little up, his back leaning against the headboard as Jeongguk steadily met his
stare. He swallowed, noticing him nod his head in the dark.

"I trust you."

His fingers slipped beneath his waist band, gently pulling down his pajama bottoms (they
were cute cats but he ignored it) down his hips, gulping when he noticed the print of his hard-
on straining behind his underwear.

Fuck, he was so hung. Jeongguk licked his wet lips, glancing over at Taehyung as he pressed
a light kiss to the fabric, mouthing at his hard cock beneath the material. Taehyung shivered
under his touch, his hand finding its way to his hair.

Jeongguk couldn't stand teasing him, wanting to get this over with to find the answer he
wanted, to get the satisfaction he though he desperately desired.

He pushed his underwear away, breath hitching in his throat when Taehyung's dick sprung
out of the fabric. He wasn't joking when he said eight inches. It was massive, veins throbbing
in his grip, and fuck his mouth watered.

He didn't know how it was going to fit into his mouth as he coiled his trembling fingers
around it.

Taehyung's grip on his locks tightened, the sting worsening his head ache, but none of it
mattered as Jeongguk gently ran his hand up his length, thumb pressing into the slit, already
leaking.

He trailed his lips down its side, alternating between open-mouthed kisses and little licks that
had him groaning. He felt the older tense beneath him as he dragged his tongue around the
tip, flicking into the slit teasingly, his pre cum bitter.
Taehyung hissed when Jeongguk's hot mouth sunk onto his dick, his tongue pressing his shaft
to the roof of his mouth. He slid down slowly, the burn straining his throat. He gagged, tears
springing to his eyes when his cock slammed against the back of his throat.

He wasn't even fully in his mouth yet.

Jeongguk pulled back slightly, deciding to bob his head up and down because there was no
use— he was too big, too thick that the skin around his mouth dully ached. He inhaled
sharply through his nose, squeezing his cock before sinking down again.

His eyes fluttered shut, though his heart twitched hearing Taehyung's low, gutteral moans fill
the room. He hollowed out his mouth to the best of his ability while his hand around his dick
pumped his length, emitting moans out of the older.

"F-fuck Jeongguk," Taehyung groaned lowly, his hips bucking up to match Jeongguk's pace.
"I— fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck."

He winced when Taehyung yanked at his hair, but it kept him going, his own painful hard
cock twitching in the constraints of his pants. He nearly choked when Taehyung thrusted into
his mouth, almost shoving his cock down his throat.

"F-fuck you're so good at this," The older breathed, moaning loudly when Jeongguk
quickened his pace, heart racing at the praise even though his throat was on fire.

"S-so good," Even though this wasn't his best work, and he totally bit off more he could
chew, Jeongguk knew the older was close.

He pulled his mouth off, watching as Taehyung threw his head back, swearing loudly as he
jerked him off, wrist flicking up and down as he helped him chase his orgasm.

Right before Taehyung was going to cum, he took the older's cock into his mouth, working
him while his hips bucked upwards, meeting every bob of his head.

"J-Jeongguk," Taehyung choked out his name in a heavy moan, releasing into his mouth.

Jeongguk squeezed his eyes shut, swallowing every drip of his release, languidly easing him
through his orgasm as the older cried out, tugging at his hair so hard he was crying tears of
his own.

When Taehyung came down from his high, he was breathing heavily, hands covering his
reddened face as Jeongguk popped his lips, wiping at the edge of his lips. His chest rose and
fell unevenly as he sat there, gaze flitting between Taehyung's limp cock and the older's
fucked-out expression.

He expected himself to want more, to want to take Taehyung right there and fuck into him all
of his frustrations while he screamed his name.

But he didn't. He didn't want that anymore.

Suddenly, it was like everything was clear, and he realized this was stupid. He shouldn't be
wanting this from Taehyung— he shouldn't be doing this to him. This wasn't right; Taehyung
was his friend.

His only friend that mattered.

Fuck, he could still taste his cum on his tongue, but all of that didn't seem to mean shit when
he saw his bracelet around his wrist. The red beads were hard to miss, and there, his heart
dropped.

Taehyung was still wearing his bracelet.

"Jeongguk, are you okay?" Taehyung asked softly, breathless. "Do you want me to—,"

"—No. Just no," Jeongguk murmured, staring at his lap when Taehyung sat up, tucking his
dick away before scooting next to the younger.

"C'mon. I can't suck you off good, but I can jerk you off if you want?" Taehyung whispered.
He watched his hand reach up, but before he could swat him away, he realized he was wiping
cum off his lips.

"Are you okay, Gguk?"

"T-Tae, we're friends, right?" Jeongguk's voice shook as he realized he fucked up. He fucked
up big time with the only person that treated him like a decent human being.

Fuck, why did he do this? Sure, it made things clear that all he wanted was to be Taehyung's
friend, but this was wrong.

It was so, so wrong. He didn't want Taehyung in that way.

"Of course we are," Taehyung murmured, brows furrowing when Jeongguk got off the bed,
running hands anxiously through his hair.

"Why do you ask?" He whispered, trying to reach after him to pull him back, but Jeongguk
shook his head, stepping away.

"We need to act like it," Jeongguk muttered. The older raised an eyebrow at him. The
younger inhaled shakily, swearing inwardly at himself for even thinking of Taehyung like
that.

"I said," Jeongguk's legs carried him to the door, the younger refusing to turn around, not
wanting to see the older's reaction.

"If we're friends, we need to act like it."

And he left because now he knew, he shouldn't want him for his body, for the sex no matter
how tempting it was. That wasn't something he wanted, and even though things were a
confusing mess, that was just as clear as his love for volleyball.
Taehyung was so much more than just a fuck he could forget about.
want & need

♡♡♡
 ♡♡♡

His friend was gone.

The younger came home at hours when Taehyung finally gave up waiting for him. There
were no more cuddles, no more breakfasts together, or walking to class side by side and
talking about stupid, little things.

No more lunches at Sunshine Sips and making bets about who would get the most numbers
from girls. No more lessons, and no more texts telling him to have a good day, or that
Jeongguk would bring him food that they could share over work.

It didn't feel right coming back to an empty dorm without Jeongguk, or eating food without
somebody making fun of him, calling him 'Specs'.

Days were dull, and his nights seemed to drag longer when the older was in his bed, staring at
the ceiling with nobody to hold.

This was what losing a friend felt like?

Taehyung just didn't know why Jeongguk was avoiding him like the plague. Was the plan too
much? Did the younger finally realize Taehyung wasn't worth his time?

Did they go too far the other day?

Taehyung should have stopped him— god, he knew he shouldn't have let him but he did. At
that time, he wasn't thinking, and he blamed it on his exhaustion, but also the fact Jeongguk
was just there.

He was there, and he could feel him close by, his presence enough to still his uneasy heart
and erase the tension eating away at his mind. One touch from Jeongguk and everything was
clear; things just made sense, and he didn't have to worry, or try to scramble for some
explanation.

He messed it up, kissing him, but he knew he only did it to see the sparkle in his eyes, to feel
the calm moments before the storm. To have him touch him, ease his thoughts, melt away his
worries, tell him things were okay without the words ever leaving his lips.
He wanted to feel that, that clarity, and so he let him suck it off saying it was for practice. But
Taehyung knew that was bullshit.

Whatever happened that night wasn't for practice., and despite Jeongguk being the person
that made things make sense, he managed to mess it all up.

And that was when he realized his missed him.

There was only so much Hoseok and Jin could fill, so much he could ask for whenever he
spent time with them. Don't get him wrong, but there were things only Jeongguk and he
understood.

Whenever they talked, and he saw something that reminded him of something Jeongguk
would joke about, he would get all excited just to realize he wasn't with him.

Then Jimin. God, Jimin. There was only so much he could do with Jimin. Sure, he liked him,
but he just couldn't focus around him when Jeongguk was on his mind. Even though he spent
time with him in the time Jeongguk was gone, he couldn't focus.

His attention was all on checking his phone, hoping that the notification was Jeongguk
replying to his
text, and his stomach dropped whenever it wasn't.

Even if Jimin was staring at him the entire time, irritance in his tone when Taehyung was
staring too long at his phone, it didn't matter.

Just one text— that was all he wanted, but as days passed, leading up until the banquet, he
knew there was no chance in getting one. Somewhere along the lines, he messed up. He
tangled the clarity he was so used to sharing with Jeongguk.

Because of that, there was no more 'Specs' and 'Ugly Dick Jk'.

It was just Specs.

And it didn't feel right.

Like a small piece of him was missing, and he couldn't find it. It was confusing, and the
longer he worried, he didn't know how to feel, or what he felt except one thing.

He missed Jeongguk.

He missed him, and he kept missing him. The pieces of Jeongguk he left behind in their dorm
worsened the heaviness in his chest. His volleyball signed by his sisters, and his shirts, and
the bowls of empty cereal he refused to wash because a 'volleyball god' doesn't do the dishes.

To think he thought Jeon Jeongguk wouldn't even mean anything to him, yet here he was,
missing him.

"I'll see you later right?" He snapped out of his thoughts, realizing he had already walked out
of the elevator with Jimin by his side.
"Later? For what?" Taehyung asked, rubbing at his face. He hadn't slept for nights, waiting
for Jeongguk to come in, but he never did. The exhaustion was getting to him.

"The banquet. Did you forget, or were you busy thinking about Jeongguk again?" Jimin said
cooly, making the two of them stop. Taehyung glanced down at him, brows furrowed.

"What? Why do you care?" He murmured, sliding his hands down his blazer and into the
pockets of his uniform slacks. Jimin rolled his eyes.

"Face it, Tae. Jeongguk's not gonna come back for a while. He goes off like a little bitch with
his tail between his legs, and then he returns like nothing happened. Trust me, I know him,"
Jimin sneered.

"But is he okay though?" Taehyung couldn't help but ask, voice thick as Jimin rolled his eyes
again.

"Of course he's okay. I already told you, he doesn't do emotional shit. He detours it."

"B-but you can't just let him suffer on his own. You need to be there for him, support him,"
The younger said, the corners of his lips falling into a frown.

"What if he needs someone?" What if he needs me?

"He doesn't. Jeongguk doesn't rely on anyone, and just 'coz he buddies up with you, doesn't
mean shit. He's on his own. He wants to be alone," Jimin said, crossing his arms over his
chest.

"Let him be alone, Tae. He doesn't want you."

But I... I want him. "Fine," Taehyung murmured, swallowing thickly as Jimin reached over
and took his hand in his.

"Don't let Jeongguk ruin this for us," The younger stared at their fingers, heart lazily skipping
a beat when Jimin's small ones intertwine with his own.

"Tonight, it's our night. Our first date," Jimin said, enthusiasm dripping from his words as he
squeezed the younger's hand. Taehyung nodded, barely even listening.

"You better clap when I win awards." He wasn't so sure if he was joking but he smiled
anyways.

He let Jimin pull him toward their dorm, listening to him drone on and on about awards he
didn't care about. It was funny, really, when Jimin spoke about volleyball all he cared about
was winning titles and awards underneath his name.

Compared to Jeongguk, who spoke with the whole fricking universe in his eyes about
volleyball, telling stories about nights he spent practicing his jump serve for hours, or pissing
his coaches off because he was too rough.
He made whole dramatic scenes, jumping off their couch for extra cinematic elements,
making stupid little sound effects while Taehyung lost it on the floor. Then Jeongguk would
act out other people in dumb voices, only making Taehyung laugh harder.

God, he really did miss him.

"—Wish I would win MVP, but I know the stupid committee is giving it to Jeongguk. Like
yeah, he hits hard, but like I set. I control his hits," Jimin rambled on while Taehyung stood
by the door, taking his time to find his keys.

"If I didn't set to him the way he wants it, Jeongguk wouldn't even be good," The blonde
scoffed. "I swear people don't even understand the importance of the setter. It's all about that
spiking bullshit that doesn't even require skill."

"Can I ask something?" Taehyung sighed, his other hand carding through his blue hair, his
fringe falling over his eyes. Jimin nodded, looking up at him.

"Why do you even play volleyball?"

He could already hear Jeongguk's answer in his ears, perfectly, word for word from all the
times he had shouted it at the top of his lungs. Because I love it, and without it I'm nothing.
Volleyball's part of me, it always has been, and I'll play it until I can't.

Fuck that, even when I can't, I'll play it even if I lose a limb. When you see a bouncing
sausage on the court with no limbs, that's me Specs.

"I liked it, I guess," Jimin shrugged, while the other internally cursed when he found his keys.
"But my Dad said I needed to do an extracurricular. There's only so much money can do for
you."

"You're rich?" Taehyung raised an eyebrow at him, gently pushing him aside to unlock the
door.

"Mm. How do you think I got into this good school?" Jimin asked, pulling Taehyung's hand
for him to face him when he finally got the door open.

"Didn't your mom and dad pay for it?" At that, he winced. He already told him he had dads.

"I got in through a scholarship. I applied late so I came here a year later than others," The
younger said, letting Jimin brush aside his hair out of his eyes.

"You're quite the smart one, aren't you?" The blonde said, smiling gently up at him, the edges
of his eyes creasing with his smile.

"If you wanna say that, sure," Taehyung cracked a small grin. Jimin chuckled, squeezing his
hand before letting him go.

"Alright. I gotta go. I'll see you at the banquet later, right?" He pecked his cheek, feeling his
smirk brush against his skin. "Correct?"
"Of course," He whispered, watching Jimin saunter down the hallway, glancing over his
shoulder to wave at him before turning around the corner to the elevators.

Swallowing, Taehyung exhaled unevenly, pushing the door open and going inside. He didn't
know what he was expecting, but a part of him hoped Jeongguk would have returned home
already.

He just wanted to see his volleyball bag, his stupid cartons of empty banana milk, and his
smile again, but when he walked in, there was nothing. Again.

Taehyung ran his fingers through his hair, shutting the door behind him. He glanced around
the room, guessing there was no use waiting when there was a banquet he needed to get ready
for. After all, he was going to be Jimin's date, but even that didn't seem to be as important as
Jeongguk's disappearance.

As much as he liked Jimin, and he couldn't think around him, he needed Jeongguk, who made
him think straight and everything seem okay.

He wandered into his room, changing out of his uniform for a simple pants and button-up for
the occasion. It was nothing much; he didn't want to be too flashy for a banquet he wasn't
even a part of. He stood in front of his mirror, shirt faling around his shoulders as his gaze
fell on his stomach.

His bruises were slightly fading now. He couldn't even seen the marks Jimin left on him, for
Jeongguk covered them up that night. Taehyung's eyes fell shut. He couldn't think about that
evening without seeing Jeongguk's head bobbing between his legs, and his hand laced
through his hair.

It was embarassing even imagining again, for he made sounds he didn't know he was capable
of and felt stars exploding in his head, but he supposed it was on his mind as well. Jeongguk
staring at him, eyes full of this innocent feelings that contrasted the lewdness of his mouth
around his... yeah.

But he wanted it, and he didn't regret it.

Eyes peeling open, his fingers drifted to the one below his ribcage, parallel to his heart,
gulping when his bracelet brushed against it.

Stop thinking about that, he shook his head, trying to get the oddly vivid memory out of his
head. And he did, not as successful as he wanted it to be, but he decided to get dressed to this
over with and head outside already.

When he was done, he was wearing tight black pants, matching it with a simple gray blazer
on top of a white button-up. He didn't do much with his hair, for Jeongguk did most of the
styling, but he wasn't here to help so he let it be.

He found himself staring at his phone on his bed before he walked out, hoping there would be
some text. Yet the longer he stood there, he knew it wasn't going to happen. Sighing, he
grabbed his phone and walked out, not expecting to see Jeongguk.
The second he looked up, however, there he was.

Jeongguk. He was already in his suit, all black which didn't quite surprise him. His back was
facing him, and it seemed he was on his phone, distracted. Crap, he didn't know if he should
say something, or walk up to him. He was here, he was finally here.

He couldn't mess this up. He didn't know how long this would last, or if Jeongguk could
leave. Fuck, he didn't want Jeongguk to leave before he could get a word in, but his mind was
spiraling, and he wasn't sure what to do to make him stay.

Just before Jeongguk could leave, he gathered all the courage he could find, knowing for sure
he didn't want Jeongguk to leave him again.

"Why are you avoiding me?"

Jeongguk stiffened, the younger realizing that he wasn't alone. He watched, breathing slightly
elevated as Jeongguk turned around to finally face him. He gulped, lips pressing into a thin
line as he felt the younger's reluctantly gaze meet his own.

"M'not?" Jeongguk said, his words numbing the older as he stood there. Taehyung couldn't
believe he just said that.

"You've been ignoring me all week," He cleared his throat, putting his fists into his pocket.
"You didn't answer any of my texts, or even gave me a heads up if you were okay."

You don't know how much I missed you.

"Are we okay, Jeongguk?" He asked, taking a step foreward, desperation on his tongue. "You
can't say you don't know."

"Specs, it's nothing personal," Jeongguk started, but the older didn't want to hear that stupid
excuse he had heard countless of times. He hated it, despised that feeling. It was the reasoon
why he changed.

Rejection. He could see it in Jeongguk's features.

"W-well it kinda feels like it is. I let you suck me off, and then all of a sudden I'm treated like
one of your hook-ups," Taehyung said, words falling from his lips as panic seized his throat.

"T-that's not what I meant," Jeongguk whispered, but the older simply shook his head at him,
his lips beginning to tremble.

"Then what did you mean?" Taehyung murmured, squeezing his fingers into fists. The
younger merely swallowed, saying nothing.

"Did I hurt you?" Again, nothing.

"Are you going with Jimin to the banquet?"

"What?" Taehyung's brows drew together. "Why does that matter? Don't change the topic,
Jeon."

"Just answer my question," Jeongguk mumbled, exhaling shakily. Taehyung opened his
mouth, ready to tell him that didn't matter, that the only thing that mattered to him was
Jeongguk and fixing whatever it was between them.

But Jeongguk interrupted him, "Please. I just want to know if I should start going alone."

"Jeongguk," His feet pulled him closer to him, but the more he tried to close the distance, the
further he felt far away from him. "That doesn't matter."

"It matters right now," He said, crossing his arms over his chest. "Just answer my question,
Specs."

For once, Taehyung's heart swelled in his chest, though he knew it was out of frustration.
"Why won't you answer my question? I want my friend back. I want you back."

"And I'm here now so answer my question."

"No you aren't. You aren't here. You and I both know you aren't here. Just tell me what's
wrong and I'll fix it. We'll fix it," Taehyung sputtered. Jeongguk shook his head, biting at his
lip.

"Are you going with Jimin, or not?" Jeongguk said softly. "I need to get going." God,
Taehyung couldn't believe him. Of course, he would be stubborn.

Exhaling, he said, "I am. I was going to." He could hear something drop, but he didn't know
what it was.

Jeongguk nodded once, stare fixated on the ground as his tongue poked the side of his mouth.
God, he knew it was going to make him leave. His friend was going to walk out that door,
and the two of them wouldn't be the same.

Taehyung couldn't live with that so he reached forward, grabbing his wrist before he could
turn around and leave him. Jeongguk turned around, adam's apple bobbing in the hollow of
his throat as his gaze met Taehyung's desperate one.

"But not anymore," He whispered ever so softly. "I'm not going, and you aren't either."

"I have to go, Specs," Jeongguk murmured, pulling his hand away from him, tucking it into
the pockets of his pants. "It's an award banquet."

"And? We both know you don't give a shit about those awards," Taehyung said, mind
scrambling for a plan because he didn't mean to blurt that out, though he wasn't going to take
it back.

"How do you know that?" The younger asked, and for a second Taehyung thought he was
mad at him, but he realized he was kidding. Right on his lips was a ghost of a smile.
"Because I know you play because you love it," He whispered, scratching the side of his
neck, feeling the younger's intense gaze on him.

"You love it so much, you're willing to play it even when it hurts you."

"Wow. That's very philosophical of you, Specs," The older gulped, hearing Jeongguk chuckle
lightly. "I guess I give you points for listening. Very important in a healthy relationship."

"A-are you giving me love advice right now?" He frowned, brows scrunched together as he
noticed Jeongguk's lips curved upward into a small grin.

"If you put it like that, sure," Jeongguk murmured. "I could give you some more. Did you
know ignoring your problems is very wrong? Top mistake all idiots make."

"Really? I didn't know that," He tried to be sarcastic, but he couldn't help the smile that
blossomed across his lips realizing things with Jeongguk were getting better.

"Well, there you go. Don't ignore your gut, Specs. If you feel it, allow yourself to feel it if it's
right. Unless you wanna be that idiot," Jeongguk chuckled.

"You're so stupid," Taehyung smacked his arm, rolling his eyes. Jeongguk snorted.

"Stupid for you," Jeongguk corrected, his features easing into the gentlest of smile. "Only for
you."

Taehyung said, nothing, instead remembering every detail of Jeongguk his mind happened to
forget in the days he missed him. He filled every missing piece, the freckle on his lip, and the
one on his neck that he liked to brush his lips over.

It was nice, to be in his presence again, and he could feel the uneven, sporadic pitter patter of
his heart calm beneath his gaze. Felt nice to just have him, there in arms reach, in full view.

"Right," The younger was the first to clear his throat, the two of them realizing they were
staring at one another for too long. "So, you said we're not going to a banquet anymore?"

"Oh, yeah, right," Taehyung licked his lips, nodding along as he tried to sort out the sudden
confusion plaguing his mind.

"Right, we're ditching."

"Didn't quite pinpoint you as the type to ditch," Jeongguk teased. "Did I rub off on you,
Specs?"

"I think it was the other way," Taehyung joked. At that, Jeongguk raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, I thought we were past that," Jeongguk pretended to look hurt, though he knew better.
He rolled his eyes at him, lightly punching his arm.

"M'just kidding," Taehyung eventually said, knowing it was probably not a good move to
bring that up. "I have an idea, though. On what to do."
"You do? Is it better than being in a room with horny teenagers, annoyingly formal adults,
and expensive dining?" He asked, following Taehyung to the door, everything seeming to be
in place all over again.

"Because I mean, I have a thing for silverware."

"Ew stop. Andi it depends on how you view it," The older thanked him for opening the door,
though he didn't walk any further until Jeongguk joined his side.

"Are you gonna kidnap me, Specs? Sell me to a boy band while you're at it?" Jeongguk
nudged his side, earning yet another eye roll.

"Shut up and trust me," Taehyung said when they approached the elevator. He glanced over at
the younger, flashing him a wide grin.

"Okay, fine," Jeongguk raised his hands up in defense. "I trust you," He said soft enough for
him to hear, and that was enough to have Taehyung's face warm up.

♡♡♡

"My legs fucking hurt!" Jeongguk groaned as the two of them pedaled past the cityscape and
down a short cut Taehyung remembered, "M'never trusting you again."

"Oh shut up. You're a volleyball player! Think of this as a nice leg exercise!" Taehyung said,
gripping the handlebars to his bike, smiling so wide as the wind whipped through his hair.

The two of them decided to take bikes and go to the spot Taehyung used to visit everytime he
felt so sick of being away from home, or the people got too suffocating to stand.

He rarely visited the place nowadays, for he couldn't trust himself being alone with his mind.
But now, he was alone with Jeongguk.

And that didn't sound too bad.

He pedaled faster, letting the icey air cut his cheeks as the city behind them blurred into the
pinks and dark blues that blotted the sky like unsaturated watercolor. The golden sun fell, and
it was as if they tried to chase it, reach it until it disappeared behind the indigo clouds,
melting away behind skyscrapers.

The skin around his mouth ached from smiling too hard, and his fingers felt numb from
gripping the bars too tight, but none of that seemed to matter.
He could feel Jeongguk's eyes on him, watching him with a small smile while he let the wind
mess up his blue hair. He glanced over at the younger, heart thrumming in his chest when he
noticed he was the only thing clear in his line of sight.

But of course, he looked away, a wave of shyness crashing over him, and it took moments
before he could resurface, catch his breath.

Whatever that was, he didn't know what it meant.

And before he could dwell on it, he stopped his bike, realizing the booming sound in his ears
was from the waves crashing against the shore. The beach. They were here.

"Is this it?" Jeongguk asked, stopping his bike beside him. He followed the older as he took
off his shoes and socks, leaving them by the bike he gently put down on the cool sand.

"Yeah," Taehyung said, tucking his hair behind his ear after rolling his pants up. "This is it."

The two of them, now barefoot, headed down the path to where the water met the land. Their
ankles sunk into the sand, numbing their entire feet for the ground was freezing cold from the
frosty evening air.

Neither one of them said a thing until they came to the water, shoulder to shoulde as they
looked off into the endless sea seemingly kissing the edge of the world. Taehyung swallowed,
inhaling the salty mist, eyes falling shut as the sea dampened his cheeks.

"This place is beautiful," Jeongguk murmured in awe, his voice making Taehyung's eyes
flutter open.

"How did you find this?" He asked, wading closer to the sea. Taehyung followed after him,
trying to keep his balance and not trip over wet clumps of sand.

"I found it when I transfered here. People use it, but rarey anybody comes to it at night,"
Taehyung said, letting his feet sink into the ground, seafoam pooling around his ankles as the
waves hit the shore.

"When things got too hard to handle, I came here. I've always liked beaches," He explained,
wiggling his toes beneath the sand. "I live on a farm with my dads, so I don't see the coast."

"You live on a farm?" Jeongguk raised his voice, his words nearly muted by the ocean's
gentle roars.

"Yeah. My family runs a strawberry farm," He said. "My grandparents still run it, and my
dads help in it. I used to work there until I came here."

"Really? That's cool. Must have been fun."

"It was. My dads make really good strawberry food. Maybe one time you can meet them. I
think they would love you," Taehyung chuckled, holding his hair out of his eyes when the
brushed over them.
"Of course they would love me. Who wouldn't?" He joked, and as the two met eachother's
gaze, they looked the other way, dropping the subjects.

"I've always wondered how it was to live on a farm. My mom joked about owning one, but
then she decided us five were enough," Jeongguk started, kicking water in the older's
direction. He gave him a dirty look, splashing him back.

"Do you have a favorite memory with your sisters?" Taehyung asked, wading around the
ocean, not wanting to go too far. He couldn't feel his toes, but he didn't really mind.

"There was one time," Jeongguk said after some thought, "that I was sleeping shirtless. My
sisters are younger than me by a lot, so they're dumb. They all took markers and drew all over
my back, and when I woke up, I was a canvas of Barbie drawings."

"That's cute," Taehyung found himself giggling, able to imagine Jeongguk with doodles on
his back in rainbow pen. "Was it fun living with them?"

"Yeah, I guess. They had their times, but don't we all honesty?" The younger snorted. "You
get used to being the only boy."

"Don't you have your dad?" Taehyung asked, and when he realized the younger fell silent, he
opened his mouth to talk, but Jeongguk cut him off.

"They divorced," Jeongguk said with a shrug. "My mom was an independent woman, and my
dad felt like he was holding her back from doing the things she loved. So he let her go."

"Oh. I didn't know that," He stopped, coiling his arms around himself, hugging his frame as
he eyed the younger's side profile. "That must have really sucked back then."

"It did. It honestly made no sense because they didn't fight at all. My dad made sure to let me
know it wasn't our fault," Jeongguk murmured, watching the sea engulf his feet. "But he told
me, if you love someone, you want them to be happy. And he knew she wasn't happy being
held back."

"If you love someone, you have to let them go when you realize you can't make them happy
anymore."

"But what if you want to make them happy? You can't just give up like that," Taehyung said,
watching as the younger finally faced him. He could see his lips poised into a frown, though
when his gaze fell on him, Jeongguk smiled.

"Don't think about it as giving up, but more like, what? A temporary goodbye," Jeongguk
shrugged.

"A temporary goodbye?" He lifted an eyebrow at him.

"A temporary goodbye," The younger swallowed. "It's when you put things on hold and focus
on what's better for you."
"Jeongguk," Taehyung whispered, stepping closer to him, sucking in a shaky breath when a
gust of wind blew their hair in all kinds of directions.

"I want to be honest," Jeongguk said softly, moving forward to him as if some force was
pulling them together. "I think you're really... amazing."

"You think what?" His brows furrowed.

"Y'know I've never had an actual friend like you," The younger continued, "and I guess I
appreciate it. I've never enjoyed myself more than I had, and it's been almost three months. In
a couple more weeks, this is gonna be over."

He was right. The deal only lasted until winter, and for some reason his stomach fell at the
thought of him leaving Jeongguk. He gulped, unsure what he was going to say next, and
hopefully it wasn't going to be anything bad.

"I just wanted to let you know, I never wanted you just for your looks. I kissed you because I
wanted to. I spent all that time with you because I wanted to."

Taehyung's brows furrowed. What was he saying? The waves were too loud, pounding
against the shore like thunder, and that was all he heard beside the incessant throb of his
heart.

Was he somehow missing something important? Was it serious?

"I called you ugly, but honestly I didn't think that. I was being stupid, and I still am. I don't
think I'll ever stop being stupid," Jeongguk chuckled after saying something Taehyung
desperately tried to hear.

"What?" Taehyung shouted over the waves, voice trembling as he screamed above the
thunder.

He saw the way Jeongguk's smile suddenly broke at the edges, and all he wanted to do was
reach forward and keep it from falling apart, but the sand seemed to be cementing him to the
ground.

He tried to reach forward, holding his hand out, and slowly he watched the younger's fingers
intertwine with his. He gulped, feeling Jk pull him closer to him, their chests pressed against
one another's, heartbeats throbbing in sync.

"We're friends," Now he could hear his voice, his lips gently brushing against his ear, breath
hot on his earlobe. "And I realized that's what means the most to me."

"And I know you like Jimin. I don't want to confuse you, or ruin what you've been wanting
for so long," Jeongguk said, pressing his forehead to the side of his hair. Taehyung inhaled
sharply, finding himsef hanging off of every single word he said.

"So let's say this is my temporary goodbye to you."

"You can't leave me again. I won't let you," Taehyung suddenly pulled back, his heart
stinging, aching so bad he wanted nothing but to rip it out of his chest.

"I missed you. I fucking missed you, and you left. I thought I ruined this, and now we're
together," He blurted out, words falling uncontrollably from his lips as his breathing
quickened.

"We're together, and now you want to say goodbye?" Taehyung asked, voice breaking. "Y-
you don't get it."

"Don't get what?" Jeongguk whispered softly. The older shook his head, lips trembling.

"I-I can't," Taehyung murmured, swallowing.

"I can't do this without you."

"Specs," The younger sighed, his other hand gently reaching up to cup his cheek. Taehyung
shook his head, not wanting to lose him again.

"You're one of my closest friends, Jeongguk. I care about you," Taehyung said softly, "and if I
messed up, I'll fix it. Just please, tell me what I messed up."

"It wasn't your fault, and I'm not gonna leave you, Tae," Jeongguk whispered gently. "I never
said that. It was my fault. I'm the one ruining this."

"God, I hate us," Taehyung let out a broken laugh, leaning his cheek into the younger's warm,
calloused touch. "I hate us. I hate how confusing we are."

"We are," He nodded, "and that's why I'm saying goodbye, temporarily. Because all we're
gonna be is friends. I'll be there to help and give godly advice."

"But besides that, no more kissing, or any more weird stuff. I don't want you like that, and
honestly I'm in need of a friend," Jeongguk whispered softly.

"I need you."

"I d-don't want you like that either," He said, firmly, though his words trembled, and he
wasn't so sure why his heart tugged when he said that. "I-I really need you too." He finally
admitted.

"Great. We're on the same page for once, Specs," Jeongguk's voice broke a little at the edges.
"Now that's settled, phase 2 is done."

"Y-you think I'm ready?" Taehyung asked, eyebrows drawing together. Jeongguk let out an
uneven sigh.

"You are. Just move on your own pace," He said, clearing his throat. "If Jimin tries anything,
I'll beat his ass like the best friend I am." At that, Taehyung gave him a genuine grin.
"Since when were you my best friend?" He teased, beginning to shiver, but for some odd
reason, the heat in Jeongguk's palm was enough to ease his stupid, restless heart, flooding
him with warmth.

"I self-promoted myself," Jeongguk flashed him a crooked grin. "Hope you don't mind it."

"No, I don't," Taehyung said. "So this is it? This is your temporary goodbye."

"Yeah," Jeongguk nodded slowly, once then twice. He swallowed, and for a second, he swore
his gaze flitted to his lips. "Did you know, Specs."

"Know what?" He asked, realizing the younger undid their fingers, and now his hands were
cupping his face.

"When you smile, it's like a rectangle. A little box of happiness and joy and really snarky,
mean insults," He chuckled softly, the tip of his thumb brushing the edge of his lip.

"I thought you said no more of this," Taehyung said, joking a little, missing the way hurt
flashes over the younger's eyes.

"Let me bend the rules a little while longer, Specs," Jeongguk muttered. He rolled his eyes at
that.

"You're still a rule breaker, I see," Taehyung snorted, sighing softly when Jeongguk's lips
tugged upward.

"Only for you, Specs," He said. He traced the smile lines on his cheek, before saying,

"Can I kiss you goodbye temporarily?"

Without thinking, Taehyung answered, "Please."

His eyes fluttered shut, and for a moment he waited for something long, something that
would have him melting into him. But instead, Jeongguk gently brushed his lips over his, the
contact causing him to jolt beneath his skin, nerves flaring for a second.

With that, he pulled away, and he took a step back, the smile on his face not quite reaching
his doe eyes. The sparkle Taehyung searched for had dimmed, and as he watched Jeongguk
move away from him, his stomach dropped.

"This is it," Jeongguk said, holding his hand out. The older took it, shaking it, letting himself
remember how it felt before Jeongguk let go of him.

"Goodbye temporarily, Specs," He flashed him his signature smirk, though Taehyung could
see the silent struggle in his stare. But he said nothing and swallowed, giving him a smile of
his own.

"Best friends?" He asked, unsure why his heart felt heavy, stomach twisting and turning.
Jeongguk nodding, the wind whipping through his hair, sun setting behind him into a
supernova of pinks, blues, and hazy oranges, and the sea crying in the background. In those
seconds he counted down for his reponse, Taehyung's heart squeezed realizing the twinkle in
his eyes had died.

"Yeah," Jeongguk declared. "Best friends."

 besties & little shits

♡♡♡

"So you two are bestfriends?" Seokjin asked, his chopsticks pausing right before he could put
the rice into his mouth.

"Yeah, we are." Taehyung nodded, folding his hands over the table as he glanced between the
older and Jeongguk. Hoseok, on the otherhand, was trying not to laugh while he ate his
pudding.

"Since when?" Jin raised an eyebrow, chomping on his food.

"Since last week," He answered, remembering the beach, and the temporary goodbye, but
that wasn't something he would say out loud.

Jeongguk and he proceeded to forget that ever happened. They never talked about it, never
even mentioned it. There was only so much they could do to erase it of its existence, but they
tried. They tried.

It was too painful to think about really, so he supposed it was for the best.

"And you chose him, Mr I can't keep my dick in my pants because I'm a sexy volleyball
player, to be your bestfriend?"

"Pretty much yeah," Taehyung nodded. At that, Hoseok snorted when Seokjin angrily shoved
rice into his mouth, giving Taehuung a nasty look.

"Am I a fucking joke to you?"

Taehyung exchanged confused glances with the younger beside him. Jeongguk shrugged,
looking away as he fidgeted with his bracelet, twisting the words 'ugly dick jk' between his
fingers. He inhaled slowly, stomach twisting and looked away and fixing his attention on his
hyungs.

"What?" Taehyung swallowed, bracing himself for the impact of Jin's furry.

"You know he's a hazard to your health right? The player of all players?" Jin asked, which
made Hoseok cover his mouth with a napkin, trying to cover his mouth.

"I'm sitting right here, Sheepy," Jeongguk said, again ignored by the oldest.
"And you, you have your lip virginity, and your ass virginity, and hopefully your dick
virginity too," The oldest said. "He could coerce you!"

"Right here, just vibing I guess," Jeongguk repeated and was still ignored.

"I'm so fucking sorry," Hoseok wheezed, holding the napkin over his mouth. Jin gave him a
death glare, and the other raised his free hand up in defense.

Taehyung, on the other hand, winced internally, and he could tell by the way Jeongguk tensed
beside him that they were probably thinking the same thing. He just knew there was no way
they were going to tell him a single thing between them.

Oh yeah, I kissed him, made out with him several times, and he sucked my dick (that
technically counted right?). Got a couple hickies.

Somehow I still haven't had sex with him, but I think we planned for it to happen. I don't
know.

However, that was probably enough to send Jin into severe cardiac arrest, rise from his
fricking grave, and murder Jeongguk with his ghostly hands. That was not an outcome either
of them wanted to see, to be honest.

"Can we look past Jeongguk's... other extracurricular activities?" He felt Jeongguk's gaze on
him, and he could tell he was probably raising an eyebrow at him, maybe even smiling.

"Are you talking about volleyball, Specs?" Jeongguk teased, and he half expected him to
nudge him, or at least elbow him, but lately, Jeongguk refused to touch him.

Not in a dirty way of course. It was more like if he touched him, it would burn him, so he
tried to keep his distance. Literally, the idiot would flinch when he brushed his fingers against
his on accident. If they bump into one another, Jeongguk swerved him.

It was better than him ignoring him though. At least he still had his best friend.

"No I'm not," Taehyung scowled. "Y'know what I'm talking about. If you know, you know."

"Are you talking about sexual intercourse?" Hoseok wiggled his eyebrows suggestively,
earning a snort from the youngest of the group and an eye roll from Taehyung himself.

"Frick off," He mumbled, taking a sip from his water bottle. "I'll remind you again I'd never
have sex any time soon. I told you, I'm saving myself for that person."

"Jeongguk and I are platonic best friends."

Jeongguk snorted softly, which Taehyung instantly shut down by stepping hard on his toe.
The younger inhaled sharply, hiding his pain with a tight-lipped grin when Hoseok and Jin
gave him weird looks.

"Jin, I think they already made it clear they're only 'best friends,'" Hoseok said in a matter
fact tone, crossing his arms over the table as he leaned forward in his seat.
"Oh c'mon, Hobi. Jeongguk's a sex magnet. He breathes, lives, and munches on sex," Seokjin
waved his chopsticks at Jeongguk aggressively.

"I munch on sex?" Jeongguk asked, amused. "I must remind you, I'm here right now.
Breathing, living, and munching on air."

"Fuck off," Seokjin rolled his eyes, "Taehyung, please I told you to leave your animal
outside. He could be contagious with rabies."

"This is a cafeteria," Taehyung's brows furrowed. "And he's human. A hundred percent
human."

"I mean, I could be a furry," The older of the duo shot Jeongguk a dirty look. He raised his
hands up in defense, "What? Just saying, don't assume."

"Jeongguk, you are a person," The blue haired boy groaned, already getting tired of this
conversation. He probably shouldn't have introduced Jeongguk to his friends this early, but he
did, expecting a better outcome than this.

"Wrong," Jeongguk smirked. "I'm a fucking grocery store."

"Out. Leave. Banished. Nobody wants you anymore peasant," Seokjin pointed his chopsticks
toward the exit, disgust scrunching his features together. Beside him, Hoseok was snickering
quietly.

"Go. Skedaddle. Disappear. Vanquish."

"What? It means I'm better than a buffet," Jeongguk shrugged like it was totally normal thing
to be a fricking grocery store. "You're just mad that I'm better and that Taehyung's the better
twink."

Taehyung wanted to shrivel and die right there.

"Where the fuck is this going?" Hoseok wheezed again, pressing his fingers to the bridge of
his nose, trying so hard not to laugh.

"Taehyung's not a twink," Jin snapped, but Taehyung was quick enough to notice the flicker
of a smile on his lips. Maybe this wasn't a total disaster, and maybe, this would work out like
he wanted it to.

"But look at him! That's why he's a twink. Well a partial twink, but you see, he's still a twink
at the end of the day. Same way that you are Sheepy, and I am a 100% better than a grocery
store," Jeongguk clapped his hands together, somehow proud of himself like he made a point.

"So bam, logic!" He grinned. "Science rules."

After a second, Hoseok was already bursting into laughter. Jin was fighting a smile, and
Taehyung was chuckling softly to himself, shoulders easing as he realized all of his good
friends were finally getting along.
While his friend group practically gave in to highly disappointed laughter, his gaze fell on
Jeongguk, who was staring at his lap, playing with the bracelet gently. When he glanced up,
Taehyung gave him a tiny smile and hoped he would at least return it.

And he did, a crooked grin plastered itself across his lips, and all Taehyung wanted to do was
— nothing. He swallowed thickly, forcing himself to look the other way, knowing Jeongguk
was staring at him but there was nothing they could possibly do.

"Okay after some consideration, we'll let you into the group, but," Jin raised a hand, silencing
everyone at the table.

"Jeon Jeongguk must complete a quiz on whether or not he knows Taehyung beyond his
body."

Taehyung awkwardly scratched the side of neck, not able to bring himself to see Jeongguk's
reaction. But eventually, he caved in, glancing over at the younger hoping nothing was weird,
but Jeongguk didn't seem to mind. He was smiling, though Taehyung noticed the twinkle
wasn't there.

It hadn't been there for days.

Every inch of him wanted to find a way to bring it back, see the light in his eyes once more,
but he didn't know how. And it wasn't like he was going to tell Jeongguk that; it would be
weird. Too weird.

Frick, why was everything so weird? He should be content with this change. After all, there
was Jimin. He liked Jimin, not Jeongguk. It shouldn't have to be this awkward still, and as
much as he waited for it to level out, it was chipping away at his composure.

He honesty wondered how long this would last, but he shook the thought out of his head.
They agreed to be best friends. It was mutual. It had to be mutual.

"The first is easy. Taehyung's favorite color?" Jin asked, fixating his attention all on Jeongguk
like he was being interviewed for some elite job offer.

"It's purple," Jeongguk answered back cooly, "and on every other day it's pink. He can't
choose."

Jin and Hoseok nodded along, which Taehyung hoped it meant that it was good. Jeongguk
knew a solid deal about him from all the time they spent together walking to every class,
spending lunch at the same place, and even in the comfort of their shared dorm.

Jeongguk couldn't possibly fail; he was too smart for that. Plus there was the fact he knew
that this was so important to Taehyung, so he wouldn't blow, but Jin and Hoseok weren't
necessarily the easiest to be around.

They were intimidating, mostly because of all the bullying, to anyone who were outsiders.

Most of the people Taehyung thought were nice to him, ended up being complete assholes
behind his back. He didn't blame Hoseok or Jin for being that way, for it happened so many
times their trust was wearing thin.

But deep down, Taehyung knew Jeongguk wouldn't hurt him.

In fact, part of him wanted to grab his hand, tell him he got this without even saying a word,
but he knew that wasn't right. Jeongguk seemed to be doing okay on his own.

After all, he answered everything right. From his parents, to the reason why he got here, and
his life back in Daegu, he realized Jeongguk really did listen to him. He listened to every one
of his stupid stories even though he thought he wasn't.

And when it got to the final question, Taehyung's stomach dropped.

"What's your favorite part about Taehyung?" Jin asked, eyeing the youngest up and down
warily.

"Is that a trick question?" Jeongguk asked, but the oldest didn't say anything. Instead
Jeongguk sighed, drumming his fingers against the table until he finally said,

"Everything," He murmured. "My favorite part is being his friend and getting to spend time
with him. Is that all you need?"

Taehyung sucked in a breath, peering up at his two friends to see their reaction. Part of him
expected for Jin to freak out, maybe even deny Jeongguk right there. Hoseok wouldn't have
cared— he seemed to like Jeongguk.

But when his attention focused on Jin and Hoseok, the two simply exchanged unreadable
looks, ones that Taehyung didn't recognize. They never looked at one another like that, that
was for sure.

Eventually, Jin cleared his throat, "The jury has spoken and have considered your case."

"Am I guilty or not, your honor?" Jeongguk asked, raising an eyebrow at the older.

Taehyung wanted to roll his eyes at their stupid behavior, but he guessed that was the only
way they could communicate properly. At least they weren't trying to strangle each other or
murder one another, right?

"I was thinking of sentencing you back to fuckboy land, but with careful consideration and
input from our jury," Jin gestured at Hoseok, "we have come to a decision."

Taehyung and Jeongguk turned to look at one another, the younger's lips fitted with a lazy
smirk. The older rolled his eyes, unable to bite back a smile of his own tickling his lips
whenever Jeongguk was happy. He gave him a thumbs-up, ignoring the way his heart lurched
when Jeongguk winked at him.

"You can join our group," Jin muttered, holding his hand over the table for Jeongguk to
shake. He fist pumped the air, murmuring 'fuck yeah' before he took the oldest hand in his
own.
For a split second, he swore Jin looked at his own wrist resting on the table when his gaze
discovered the little bracelet dangling around Jeongguk's wrist. Taehyung guessed he was just
overthinking things, but he thought Jin's expression softened.

"But if you hurt our Taehyung, we won't hesitate to jump your ass," Jin added, and quickly
the younger retracted his hand, probably fearing he was going to chop it off.

"Just because you two are different, doesn't mean you get a special pass," He explained, but
before Taehyung could ask him what he meant, they were already moving on.

"Sounds fair," Jeongguk nodded, folding his hands over the table. "I don't have any intentions
on doing that."

He said those exact words as he stared at Taehyung, the softest of smiles replacing the cocky
smirk he wore like a prized accessory. Taehyung swallowed, flashing him a weak grin,
hoping that was it until Jeongguk murmured ever so quietly,

"I'd never do that. Ever."

♡♡♡

Taehyung was walking back to the dorm himsef after the final class. It wasn't something he
would usually do, but Jeongguk had to speak to his coaches about missing the banquet first,
so they parted ways a bit ago after making plans to grab dinner together.

God, the banquet. It crossed his mind a lot lately, especially because Jimin was infuriated
with him, and the fact he couldn't get the look of desperation Jeongguk had in his eyes as he
told him he wanted to say goodbye temporarily.

Right when they came home that night, Jeongguk stopped him by the door, their intertwined
pinkies retracting away from one another.

"Still go for Jimin, Specs. He's all you ever wanted right?" He murmured, voice rough, and
before Taehyung could come up with answer among all his tangled emotions, Jeongguk went
inside.

That was the last time they spoke about it, and he guessed he was so caught up in Jeongguk
that he forgot about Jimin. The whole point of this plan was to win him over, date him. Jimin
was his end goal.

But somewhere along the lines, all of it blurred together.

And suddenly he didn't know what he wanted. God, Jimin was right there, and Taehyung was
finally able to have a chance with him after so long. But then in the back of his mind there
was Jeongguk.

Jeongguk's stupid laughter, his smile that exposed his little bunny teeth whenever he got too
excited, his stupid jokes, and the way everything seemed to make sense for awhile around
him. There was the way he kissed him, touched him...

But none of that mattered anymore. They agreed to end it, to make things easier, to stay as
friends, but what did that even mean? What was easy about any of this?

He gulped, rubbing the side of his aching neck as he rounded the corner. All he wanted to do
was sleep, eat, and maybe get some homework done before Jeongguk got home. Do things
that would take his mind off the confusion.

"Taehyung!" He glanced up, nearly at his door when he realized who was standing there.

It was Jimin, and the older didn't seem so happy. Taehyung sighed softly, guessing his plan
would be thrown out the window now that Jimin was here to probably ask him about the
banquet in person. Ask him why he ditched him for Jeongguk.

"Why do you keep ignoring my texts, huh?" Jimin snapped as Taehyung pushed his way to
the door, wanting to get inside and deal with it in private.

There was this thing about these volleyball players. They never did things half-assed. Most of
them fought for what they wanted in the most grandiose way possible. Privacy? Who was
she?

"I'm asking you a fucking question. You ditched me at an important event! Do you get how
bad that makes me look?" He neary yelled, though he kept his composure.

"I'm sorry. Something important came up," He said, unlocking the door and heading inside.
Jimin, of course followed after him, slamming the door shut as he followed Taehyung to the
kitchen.

"Wow? Really? And it involved Jeongguk, didn't it," Jimin snarled. "Of course it did," He
scoffed when the younger didn't answer.

"What's your fucking issue with Jeongguk? What is so fucking amazing about him?" He
finally shouted, watching as Taehyung leaned against the counter, rubbing his tired face.

"Want me to remind you Jeongguk will never give a damn about you? Taehyung, he doesn't
care! All he cares about is volleyball and fucking strangers!" Jimin continued, screaming his
lungs out.

"All Jeongguk wants from you is sex! Open your fucking eyes and realize that guy is nothing
but an egotistical—,"

"—And you're not the same?" Taehyung asked, glancing up from his palms to see Jimin, red
faced and trembling with anger.
"Jimin, I-I like you. I really do, and I'm sorry about ditching you and not telling you sooner,
but this was important to me," He softened his tone, shoving his fingers through his hair.

Jeongguk is important to me, he wanted to say, but he knew Jimin would only get more angry
than he already was.

"We could always go on another date, but this? I'm not gonna tolerate you talking shit on
your own friend," Taehyung murmured, gesturing at him.

"Jeongguk's supposed to be your best friend, too."

"M'not friends with him anymore," Jimin muttered bittery, his words not at all what
Taehyung expected for him to say.

"He ruined it during the summer."

"What did you say?" Taehyung raised an eyebrow at him. He watched as Jimin inched toward
him, his lips quivering while his free hand fisted at his blonde locks.

"Last summer, Jeongguk, my 'best friend' broke my heart," He explained, glancing up at

Taehyung with big, saddened eyes that gleamed with this pain he didn't quite expect Jimin to
harbor.

Taehyung remained silent, not at all remembering any mention of this from the younger.
Jimin inhaled sharply.

"Jeongguk and I had a thing." Oh. They did.

"It's over now, but Tae, he broke my heart. He made it feel like he cared about me and told
me I meant a lot to him, and right after we had sex... he left," The older murmured, words
breaking.

"It was like that was all he wanted from me," Jimin sniffled, "and I tried to talk to him about
it, but he said he didn't remember what happened in the summer."

"I felt so... hurt, Taehyung."

Brows furrowed, Taehyung wrapped his arm around the older's waist pulling him closer. "I-I
didn't know that," He mumbled, unsure what to think.

"T-that's why I'm worried about you, spending all that time with him. He says something like
he likes everything about you, but that's his way of trying to fuck you over," Jimin hiccuped.
"I don't want him to hurt you like he did to me."

"He won't. I know he wouldn't, and I appreciate your concern," He bit at his lip, scrambling
for a word to say as he struggled to absorb this.

"But why are you telling me this?"

"Because you're around him so much. Sometimes I think you're leaving me for him," Jimin
whispered, his eyes red and watery. Taehyung squeezed his waist, swallowing as his chest
tightened.

"M'not. I told you, I like you," Taehyung murmured, "and I'm sorry about Jeongguk. I didn't
know he'd reject you like that." I knew he was capable of it, but I swore he changed, right?

"Yeah," The blonde said, swallowing. "But I'm done with him. I like you, and I just don't
want you to get hurt."

"I promise, I won't. If you want we can always go on another date. I'll take you on one," He
pulled him closer, searching for the butterflies that usually exploded in his stomach and the
eratic thump of his heart but struggled.

"You would?" Jimin batted his eyelashes at him, his hand reaching up to cup Taehyung's
cheek. The younger nodded, cramming a smile onto his lips.

"Well, I want you to promise me that we won't tell Jeongguk this, okay? Keep things between
us," He hummed, patting his cheek. "Promise?"

"'Course, I promise," Taehyung said, tensing when the older kissed him briefly, his lips
pressing against his own. Taehyung barely kissed him back, unable to comprehend what just
happened by the time Jimin pulled away.

"Don't let Jeongguk get to you, baby," Jimin grinned, gently pinching his cheek. "He's not
good for you."

Sure he isn't, and do I really care, but Taehyung didn't say that. He nodded along, forcing
himself to grin at the older who seemed content with his words.

"Alright. I have to get going to practice. Wanna grab dinner together after?" Jimin pulled
away from like he wasn't crying moments ago, and the younger couldn't help but find that
odd at his sudden change of mood.

"I can't," Taehyung followed him to the door, his hands resting inside his pant pockets as he
leaned against the wall.

"Why not? Are you avoiding me now, Tae Tae?" He teased, eyeing him up and down subtly,
and for a moment he thought he rolled his eyes.

"No. I have work to do for the student council," He lied smoothly, thankful he had some skill
in that at least. He guessed lying all the time to those students who thought they were getting
into trouble with the headmaster did come in handy.

"Oh, I see. Well then, I'll see you later," The older merely hummed, pressing a quick kiss to
his cheek.

"Right. See you," Taehyung said, watching as he disappeared down the hallway. When he
was gone, he shut the door and sauntered over to the couch before crashing down onto it.
He rested his head on the pillow, staring up at the ceiling as Jimin's words replayed in his
mind. God, he wondered why Jeongguk never mentioned any of this. He honestly wouldn't
have been mad— it was the summer, and Jimin didn't specify what summer.

For all he knew, it happened a long time ago.

And the Jeongguk Jimin described didn't sound like his Jeongguk. His Jeongguk that made
dumb jokes, that had the biggest heart for his family, and gave him compliments that weren't
centered on looks.

He wasn't stupid— he wasn't going to let someone make his own decisions for him. Jeongguk
was his best friend too, the person he spent every day with, and felt grounded around.

But in the back of his mind, he thought of the times Jeongguk rejected so many people in
front of him. Of course, he didn't say yes to strangers asking for sexual favors, but Taehyung
always happened to witness him shoot them down with an apologetic smile.

And for some reason, his mind let him wonder what if Jeongguk would reject him like the
rest with that same apologetic smile, and the calm 'no thanks. it's not you, it's me' line
directed tight toward him.

It terrified him to just think about it. Rejection. It shouldn't have since it was normal, it was
an every day thing, but all of it made him suffocate within his own body.

Years of rejection, of half-hearted sorries, and stupid excuses that made no sense. All of it
came flooding back, and god, he was paralyzed in place, reliving those endless days of
painful rejctions through a projector in his mind.

"M'home Specs!" Jeongguk called, but his voice seemed so far away, distant. "Specs? I said
I'm home, and you're not excited? That's a shocker."

He could hear his footsteps, and as much as he tried to gather a grip of himself because he
knew things were different, he struggled. He couldn't get out of his mind, and god he wanted
to escape so bad he didn't realize Jeongguk crouched beside him.

"Specs, are you okay? The ceiling's not gonna talk any time soon," Jeongguk chuckled softly.
"Specs?"

He blinked rapidly, trying to focus on Jeongguk's voice. Right, he was there, beside him. He
turned his head, gaze falling on the younger's gentle features, edged with slight worry.

"Are you not feeling good? 'Cos if you aren't, I'm okay with eating dinner here. I could make
you soup! I can't cook, but I can make a mean soup," He said, words so light it made
Taehyung's breathing ease.

"I played too much volleyball, I never learned how to cook," Jeongguk snorted. "Except
soup."

Taehyung stared at the younger, focusing on his gentle words and holding onto them,
desperate to stay a float. Jeongguk's eyebrows creased, and god, how much he wanted to
reach over and touch him, to erase the wrinkle of worry with his thumb.

"Seriously, you're scaring me now, Specs," Jeongguk suddenly reached over, placing his palm
on his neck, probably to check his temperature.

"My soup powers might not be able to solve this."

He gulped, forgetting the way Jeongguk's hands felt on his own. His skin was always so
rough, and he remembered their argument about using lotion, but he refused because
'calloused hands were hot' and Taehyung didn't want to agree so he kept his mouth shut.

But as Jeongguk tried to figure out his temperature, he resurfaced from his mind, his
heartbeat fluttering ever so slightly in his chest, and soon everything seemed to steady. He
focused only on Jeongguk, the rest becoming irrelevant.

It was the first time he touched him in days.

"You don't have a fever, but if somebody hurt you, I'd gladly beat them up," Jeongguk pulled
his hand away, the smallest of gestures enough to make his stomach twist. No please come
back.

"Nobody hurt me," Taehyung murmured, finding his voice. It was always Jeongguk's
presence that made everything feel normal. "I'm okay, I swear."

"Do you still want soup though?" Jeongguk asked. "'Cuz I need to tell you something."

"What?" He found himself propping himself up on his elbows, the smallest of smiles curling
his lips upward.

"I lied about soup. I was just trying to sound cool, and honestly if you let me cook you soup,
I'd be serving you burnt liquid," He admitted, chuckling uneasily as he scratched the side of
his neck.

"Burnt liquid? Maybe you shouldn't cook at all," He grinned, tucking behind his blue locks
behind his hair.

"But you're not feeling good. If you're not in the mood, we could have dinner here. All I can
make is cereal though," Jeongguk muttered.

"Cereal?" Taehyung chuckled, and the younger nodded, not meeting his gaze. He slightly
titled his head to the side, finding it adorable how his ears were tinged pink.

"Okay just because I bully you, doesn't mean you bully me Specs," Jeongguk grumbled.
"You're gonna hurt Cereal's feelings."

"Jeongguk," The younger looked up, eyebrows raised. "Let's eat cereal."

"You're down to eat cereal?" Jeongguk gasped, "for dinner?" Taehyung nodded, sitting up.
Jeongguk got to his feet, eyes widened with excitement.
"So I don't have to make soup?" He asked, pointing his thumb at himsef. Taehyung nodded,
holding his hand out for the younger to pull him up.

"No. I don't want you to burn the dorm down," He snorted, wiggling his fingers at him.
Jeongguk rolled his eyes, but he couldn't seem to hide the boyish smile on his lips as his
fingers slowly slipped into Taehyung's.

"Good idea," Jeongguk snorted. "I don't wanna kill you with liquid that tastes like a dirty
rag."

Hesitantly, their hands closed around one another, grip tight. The younger was obviously
stronger, and he was able to pull him up. Taehyung felt himself be lifted up the couch, but
before he could stand, he tripped on the edge of the coach.

He gasped, arms throwing out to grab onto anything to break his fall. Taehyung's eyes fell
shut, and he realized his arms were around Jeongguk's neck, but he was afraid to open his
eyes to see his reaction.

Taehyung inhaled slowly, reluctantly peeling his eyes open, and when he did he realised how
close their faces were. Jeongguk's hand was on his lower back, holding him in place, but he
could tell he didn't want to touch him anymore than he could.

"Oh hi there," Taehyung chuckled awkwardly, staring directly into the younger's gaze, part of
him hoping he could find that twinkle he was looking for, but it was useless.

It wasn't there. What the heck was wrong?

"We gotta stop meeting like this stranger," The younger teased, steadying him like he always
did.

"Don't want you falling for me now."

"Yeah," Taehyung swallowed thickly, nodding as he removed his arms around Jeongguk's
neck and took a safe step back. Neither one of them said anything, even refusing to look one
another in the eye.

Eventually, Jeongguk cleared his throat, "Want some cereal?"

"I'm down for some cereal," and that was that. The two of them ended up standing in the
kitchen, eating cereal from Jeongguk's special collection in silence.

However, it wasn't a bad silence where it was awfully awkward and painful to be in. It was
the kind that made Taehyung realize how much he liked how things were, how safe it was.

But at the same time, when Jeongguk gave him that damn crooked smile, he nearly choked
on his own cereal.

His heart fluttered.

 broken hearts & broken dicks
Chapter Notes

feedback is always appreciated! <3

♡♡♡

Jeongguk needed a boyfriend, or a girlfriend, or something that was human and had
emotions.

It was weird, seeing that the infamous fuckboy Jeon Jeongguk wasn't living up to his name.
Sure, he thought it was gross and totally unhygienic, but like it just wasn't Jeongguk without
the cocky attitude, and the 'bagging bitches' flair he had to him.

He turned down every person that tried to get a hook up out of him, and Taehyung watched in
absolute shock as Jeongguk denied them without even giving them a single look over.

Usually he would take a small peek, but Jeongguk simply shook his head and said every
single time that he wasn't in the mood.

Taehyung was sure something was wrong with him.

He tried to bring it up, but he wasn't sure if it was a best friend thing to ask about each other's
sex life. After all, his was basically nonexistent and Jeongguk had a huge body count
compared to him, deeming the topic an unpopular one at the dinner table.

Plus the last time they discussed something sexual, they ended up touching one another.
Jeongguk's mouth was on his dick, and he moaned, and it felt good, and Jeongguk kinda
swallowed his—

There was a reason bringing up sexual stuff wasn't a good idea. Plus Jeongguk was still
avoiding touching him every chance he got, swerving him and making sure they sat on the
couch five feet apart.

But all he knew was that it was off, and the balance needed to be restored. Jeongguk didn't
even accept a phone number, heck he rarely checked his phone.

All he wanted to do was go to Sunshine Sips with Taehyung, study, and go back to the dorm
and watch movies with him until he had practice. When he was hungry, he offered to pay for
dinner, and they went in comfortable silence.

If Jeongguk was allowed to help Taehyung get a boyfriend, certainly he could return the
favor to his best friend, right?

If he got Jeongguk a new person, maybe he wouldn't have this stupid heart issue anymore!

"So, are you busy tomorrow night?" Taehyung asked as the two were eating dinner like they
always did at Sunshine Sips. Jeongguk paused before biting into his sandwich, eyebrows
furrowing as his gaze met the older's.

"Think so," Jeongguk glanced between his sandwich to the weird smile on Taehyung's lips.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?" He batted his eyelashes at him, folding his hands over the table. The younger
blinked at him, genuinely confused.

"Like you're gonna... eat me."

"W-what? N-Nooo," Taehyung swallowed, shoulders stiffening. Jeongguk raised an eyebrow

at him. "Did you mean that sexually?" He squeaked.

Jeongguk rolled his eyes, "Get your head out of the gutter. If you just want my food, just tell
me, Specs." He grumbled, gently putting his sandwich back on the plate and pushing it in the
other's direction.

"No, that's not what I meant, but thank you," The older murmured, pushing the plate back to
him.

"Then what?" Jeongguk asked, the edges of his lips cramming into a small frown as he
pushed the plate back. "Also I insist. Your cheeks look skinnier. Eat or else I'll hold you down
and gently feed you food."

"My cheeks are not skinny, and thanks for your concern but I don't wanna be held down,"
Taehyung grumbled, giving his sandwich back with a roll of his eyes.

"I'm asking because look over there."

"Should I be trusting you? You're like, what, blind," The younger snorted, but Taehyung
merely scoffed and smacked his side. He gestured briefly over at the table where he
recognized some volleyball players, but the last one, he didn't know— great.

"Them? Why are you pointing at Yugyeom and San?" Jeongguk asked, taking a sip from his
boba. The older rolled his eyes again and pointed to the boy sitting between them.

It was perfect! The student looked straight out of a minimalist fashion magazine like the rest
of the students in their school, with his parted, wispy raven hair, sharp jawline, and long legs.
His blazer wasn't on, but he rolled his shirt sleeves up and the bottoms of his slacks, pairing
the outfit with black oxfords.
He couldn't get a good look at his face, but he saw a lot of piercings! Jeongguk had a lot of
them, though he didn't wear them very often because of volleyball. Anyways, both of them
wore earrings! Jeongguk had to like that.

"Don't you think he's cute, my dear Jeonggukie?" He asked, singing his words sweetly as he
made sure the younger was looking. When he did, his smile grew, knowing his plan could
possibly work, but he tried his hardest to ignore his heart squeezing in his chest.

Mission get his heart to stop fluttering whenever he was too close to Jeongguk was plausible
after all.

"Sure. He's okay I guess. Why?" Jeongguk said after some time, his tone was slightly off.
Taehyung's heart tightened again.

"Are you thinking of dating him now?"

"What?" Taehyung's smile fell. "No. No, I'm just asking." He tucked behind his blue hair past
his ear, trying to busy himsef with his fruit bowl even though he wanted to sneak glances at
him.

"You think you could be free tomorrow though?"

"Depends on what time coach ends practice," He shrugged, realizing that Taehyung was still
staring at the stranger. "Specs. What are you doing?"

"I'm just asking," He said, popping a grape into his mouth. "Don't you think you need to get
back in the game?" He tried to tease, hoping it removed this stupid feeling he absolutely
hated.

"I still play volleyball, Specs," Jeongguk muttered, eyeing him warily. Taehyung groaned,
rolling his eyes and wrapped his fingers around his forearm, pulling him close to him.

"You're bored with me."

"I'm what now?"

"I was absolutely horrified by your sexual activities in the past," Taehyung whispered into his
ear, and before the younger could reply, he held him down, "but I realized you need it to
function properly, and you need to get some human interaction in there as well."

"Human interaction? I'm talking to you, and I think that's enough for me," Jeongguk snorted
softly, flicking the bottom of Taehyung's chin. The older narrowed his eyes at him.

"And sex? I'm fine without it for a while."

"C'mon, you don't miss it?" Taehyung whined, gently shaking Jeongguk's arm. "It's not bad
for you!"

"Why are you making it sound like I was an alcohol addict and you're trying to get me to use
again?" He whispered back, pulling his arm away from the older.
"I told you, I'm fine."

"Jeongguk, there's only so much a hand can do," He said, jutting his bottom lip into a pout,
hoping his last resort would work. Jeongguk stared at him, brows furrowed, eyes incredulous.

"Did you just tell me I shouldn't jack off?"

"Sorry. That got kinda weird," Taehyung chuckled awkwardly, pulling away from the
younger as he felt his cheeks warm up, a familiar hue of red probably painting his features.

"Specs, what's up? I'm not bored of you at all if you think that, but I also don't have the time
to fuck around anymore," Jeongguk sighed, reaching over and patting his shoulder.

"Thanks for caring in that cute Specs way of yours."

"B-but I wasn't suggesting you get a sex buddy," He said softly, twirling the straw in his boba
drink. "I was saying maybe you should try to find a person 'cuz I'm gonna... start dating
Jimin. Soon."

"Oh," He glanced up, expecting to see a stupid, boyish smile on Jeongguk's lips, not just a
single word and a blank, unreadable expression.

"Ouch, Tae," Jeongguk chuckled, though he could tell he was forcing it, and each half-
hearted laugh tugged at his chest.

"Didn't think you wanted to get rid of me that fast."

"What? No! I don't wanna get rid of you at all! I really love being best friends. I-I just don't
want you to be lonely," Taehyung said, trying to grab his wrist to assure him, but the younger
moved away. He gulped, hoping it didn't hurt him.

"Jeongguk, are you mad at me?" Taehyung asked when the other refused to look at him. "I'm
sorry. I'll drop the subject. I won't push you again."

The younger didn't say anything to him, and just as Taehyung slumped forward in his chair,
guessing he ended up hurting Jeongguk instead of helping him, Jeongguk sighed. He glanced
up at him, swallowing thickly, hoping he wasn't that mad because that was the last thing he
wanted between them.

However, Jeongguk merely smiled albeit tight-lipped. "Fine. I'll try it."

"You would?" Taehyung whispered, eyes lighting up. Jeongguk shrugged, glancing over at
him.

"Yeah, but no promises anything will happen," The younger said nonchalantly. "I'll talk to
them if you want me to, but anything other than that, I won't do."

"Jeongguk," He started, but before he could reply, the younger was already getting up and
going to the line where the stranger was standing.
With all honesty, Taehyung should have been excited to see Jeongguk getting back on his
feet, but when he saw the stranger smile up at Jeongguk, the giddy grin he wore suddenly
fell. It crumbled into nothing, and his fingers curled into fists as his chest squeezed to an
almost unbearable point.

This was a good idea, he tried to remind himself, tried to ease the way he couldn't feel
something as heavy as concrete crush his heart. It was a good idea if he wanted to get over
feeling this way for a person who was supposed to be his best friend.

Jeongguk really hated how whipped he was for Specs.

It started off as a joke in volleyball, saying that he would do anything if his Taehyung asked
him to. It wasn't true, until Taehyung started to pick him up from practices and he left before
anyone else in the lockers so he could spend some time with his friend.

Then there were those times where he quizzed Taehyung on hard exams in the lockerroom
before practice because he would miss it later. Yugyeom and San also made sure for him to
remember that he checked his phone in between every rest period to see if Specs texted.

He denied it at first, but now, as he was walking to a stranger he didn't even know the name
of because Taehyung asked him to, he realized it was true.

And he hated it. Kind of. Not really.

It shouldn't bother him anyways. The old Jeongguk did this every chance he could to anyone
he found hot, but nowadays, he filled his free time with Specs and nothing but him so he
didn't really have a concrete defintion of hot anymore.

Unless it was blue hair, a godly, fat ass that could fill up his palms, and that boxy smile and
glasses, but that was too specific and somewhat weird.

There was the fact that there simply wasn't any time to get in a hook up when he wanted to
spend every second with his best friend. Nothing beat watching movies with Specs and eating
cereal every night.

But maybe Specs did something right by pushing him back out there. Sure, he could live
some time without having sex, but maybe it was a good idea to dwell on another thing now.

Taehyung and Jimin were going to date, and there was no way Jeongguk was going to
thirdwheel that. Thirdwheeling sucked absolute ass.

It was also probably a better option than holding onto a dumb feeling that shouldn't even
exist, and honestly, it would help separate things. Keep things friendly between them if he
had someone else.

But the second Jeongguk got there behind him, his mind blanked. Okay, maybe he was a bit
more rusty than he thought he would be.

"You need something?" The stranger asked, and that was enough to bring him back to reality.
Jeongguk blinked rapidly, realizing he was talking to him.

"No sorry," Jeongguk scratched the side of his neck, scrambling to get his shit together. "I'm
fine." I'm fine? God, what was he? A prepubescent eleven year old with no idea of how
relationships worked?

Maybe he was. This guy wasn't average in looks at all. He was cute, and he was shorter than
him by a little bit. Jeongguk could easily pull a guy like this in the past, but now, his tongue
was practically putty.

Before the stranger could turn around, however, he cleared his throat, "I'm Jeon
Jeongguk." Fucking idiot.

"Choi Jaewon, but you can call me Jae," The other said, eyeing him curiously. "I already
knew who you are. No need to introduce yourself." He grinned.

"You did?" Fuck, he sucked at this. He swore not that much time passed since the last time he
tried to pick somebody up for a hook-up, but now that he thought about it, he didn't talk to
anyone but Specs for two months.

"Yeah, you're the captain of the volleyball team," Jae snorted. "And you know my cousin,
San. He won't stop talking about how awesome you are."

"Oh, yeah, Choi San. That makes sense," Jeongguk swallowed, stumbling over his words. He
willed himself to get a grip, but he just couldn't knowing that Specs was staring at him and
this actually cute guy was smiling at him.

He wasn't as cute as Taehyung. Fuck, nobody could beat Specs but that wasn't the point. God,
he was a mess. A big fucking mess.

"M'guessing you know about my reputation," He chuckled, exhaling slowly, finally easing his
heart in its slot inside his chest. Jae nodded, smile widening.

"Yeah, and before you try to pull a move on me, I need to tell you something," Jae said. At
that, he raised an eyebrow, saying something softly for him to continue.

"I'm aromantic asexual, so like, nothing would work out between anyone and I," He admitted,
and it took Jeongguk a moment to realize what he meant. When he did, his lips curved into an
oval. Jae simply nodded, the smile he wore ever so gentle.

"That's cool. I wasn't here to try to sweet talk you or anything, though," Jeongguk said
honestly, his shoulders relaxing now that he had nothing much to worry about. "My friend
made me."
"Kim Taehyung? I thought he was your boyfriend."

Jeongguk choked, "W-what? Nooo, he isn't. We're best friends and nothing else." Jae raised
an eyebrow at him, not at all believing him.

"Not what I've heard from my cousin and his idiotic friend," The other said, snorting. "But
that's a shock. You, Jeon Jeongguk, notable fuckboy couldn't make a move on someone like
Kim Taehyung so you stay friends."

"And what's wrong with that?" Jeongguk grumbled, gently nudging Jae forward when the
line moved.

"Nothing. Thought it was cute because it shows you care more about a friendship than a one
time fuck," Jae shrugged. "Hope I'm not overstepping by the way. I just can't help but see
how funny this situation is."

"You're not, and this isn't funny. We're serious," He said, and to be honest, he supposed he did
sound like an idiot when his heart was screaming the other thing and it wouldn't shut up.

"Sure. Honestly, I hope you go for Kim. He's a rare kind of person— those sugary good ones
you can never find anywhere in this world," Jae waved his hand at him, gesturing for him to
join him at the counter.

"You're not aware he has a thing with Park Jimin?" He asked, watching as Jae ordered
something with lychee jelly and green tea. Weird combination but he didn't say anything.

"He does? Wow, did not see that coming," Jaewon said, snorting softly as he handed the
worker money. "Park Jimin is not the type of guy for him, sweetie."

"They're doing fine," Jeongguk swallowed, following Jae to the waiting area as the other
tugged him by the edge of his blazer to join him. It wasn't really a lie— Taehyung never told
him much except it was going okay.

"Hm, okay. But just saying, I thought Park Jimin liked you? San and Yugyeom told me about
it," He explained further when Jeongguk gave him a weird look.

"Oh that. The summer was a mistake. We fucked once and kissed a couple times," Jeongguk
shrugged, remembering it almost crystal clearly. "It was weird. I told him I didn't want a
relationship multiple times but he kept pushing for one."

"And that didn't give you red flags? You're really letting Kim Taehyung date him?" Jae's
brows knitted together, the other crossing his arms over his chest.

"Tae's smart. I trust him to leave when it gets too much," Jeongguk muttered, unsure why he
was telling a stranger all of this, but to be honest it felt nice to let things out.

"He doesn't tell me anything, but I heard they're doing okay."

"Alright. I know we're not close, and you came to me for way different intentions," Jeongguk
opened his mouth to apologize, but Jae waved him off with another dimpled grin. "It's fine.
But I'm gonna drop this before you run away."

"You're something, Choi Jaewon," Jeongguk joked, sliding his hands into his trouser pockets,
a smile unfolding itself on his lips.

"Oh, I know I'm awesome, and this conversation is safe with me. If you ever wanna talk
again, join us sometime," Jae gestured with his chin over to where Yugyeom and San were
sitting.

"We don't bite as hard as Namjoon and Yoongi."

"Yeah," He swallowed, glancing between the two tables. He knew it was a joke, but he still
hated the way his stomach twisted into painful knots at the mention of his supposed friends.
Friends that didn't reach out to him.

"Well, that's me," Jaewon pushed off the wall to get his drink. "You better join us after
volleyball games, alright Jeon?" He teased when he came back, stabbing a straw into his
drink.

"I'll think about it," He nodded, but before Jae left he handed him a slip of paper.

"My phone number if you wanna ever chat. Again, I'm aromantic and asexual so this is not an
invite to fuck," Jae chuckled, patting his closed knuckles.

"And I know you're whipped for Kim."

"Right," Jeongguk said, putting his number into his blazer pocket. "I'll see you." And with
that, he was walking back to where Taehyung sat, waiting for him patiently.

"Did you score a date?" Taehyung asked him the second he sat down. Jeongguk shook his
head.

"I think I accidentally made a new friend," The younger found himself chuckling to himself,
pulling the slip of paper out and glancing back and forth between Jae and the little scraggle of
numbers he might even call.

However, what Jeongguk missed is the way Specs deflated in his seat beside him,
enthusiastic smile slipping into a frown as he stared down at his food.

♡♡♡

Tonight was his first official date with Jimin.

Jimin refused to do anything in public, so all of his ideas weren't going to work out. It
bummed him out that he couldn't bring him to the places he wanted go go to but it didn't
matter. He guessed it could wait.

So he chose a movie, an empty dorm with nobody except them, one blanket, and a bowl of
popcorn. Taehyung was looking forward to this all week— he planned it all out after all,
making sure Jimin would like it.

Even though it wasn't big, and it was simple, he tried to make it as special as possible.

It was all he ever wanted, really. All he dreamt about since those ungodly hours he spent in a
convenience store, secretly hoping the Park Jimin felt something back after every one of their
conversations.

Those dreams were his reality, and although he still struggled to grasp the idea that Jimin
liked him, this was a reminder that it wasn't just in his imagination.

God, he remembered those nights in his bed he spent coming up with different cute scenarios
with his crush, knowing it would never happen because Jimin would never look his direction.
Now here he was, in Jimin's dorm with the older right beside him.

But in those scenarios, they were talking about their interests, their dreams, and every little
thing that seemed important in that frozen moment. In reality, nobody had said a word, both
of them staring at the television, the only sound being the movie and Jimin's occasional
comments about the film.

Not quite exactly what he expected.

"So," Taehyung cleared his throat, unsure of what to do. They were half way through Call Me
By Your Name, and it wasn't really at an interesting part.

"Do you still read comics?" He tried, remembering the time Jimin and he spoke endlessly
about their favorites while they stocked toilet paper.

"No. It's been years," Jimin said, popping some popcorn into his mouth. "Haven't touched
one in eons actually."

"Oh really?" The younger's eyebrows scrunched together— he didn't expect that either. He
swore the older adored comics. They literally gushed over all types of BLs over summer.

"Anybody who reads em are nerds," The blonde shrugged. "Outgrew them in elementary. No
way I'd pick up another one any time soon. Is that the answer you wanted to hear?" Not
exactly.

"Do you like the movie at all?" He tried to change the topic, hoping he could salvage this
because he wasn't sure how much longer he could go without wanting to shrivel and die from
the awkward levels. Jimin merely hummed.

"Elio's hot, and so is Oliver. Honestly the book was better," Jimin said, setting the popcorn
bowl on the side table. "The entire movie drags."
"Oh, well I like it. I think it's meaningful and the way they portray their love is really
powerful," Taehyung murmured, fidgeting with the edge of the blanket on his lap. "But if you
hate it, I can change it."

"No you don't have to," Jimin muttered, sighing unevenly as he shoved his fingers through
his hair. "We're already half way through. No use doing something else."

"It's okay I don't mind," The younger swallowed, leaning forward to grab the remote but
Jimin's hand grabbed his arm, pulling him back.

"I have another idea," He murmured, running his hand down his bare arm. Taehyung's adams
apple bobbled nervously, and honestly he regretted just wearing a white t-shirt. In the dark,
he could see the older eyeing him up and down.

"Like what?" He swallowed, feeling his cool touch slip down his arm and to his lap.
Taehyung's mind screamed, not at all expecting this! Frick, Jeongguk did not prepare him for
any of this! Was there some sort of protocol?

"We can have fun if you want," Jimin mused, teasing his lip between his teeth. Taehyung's
heart began to race, and he wasn't sure if it was because the older's hand was sitting high up
on his thigh.

"S-sure, I'm down." He did not know what kind of 'fun' he expected but he did not think
Jimin would climb onto his lap and straddle him.

"Oh hi there," Taehyung gulped, chuckling uneasily as his hands settled on Jimin's hips. His
ass was pressing on his lap where that cool spot was, and he expected himself to get turned
on, but honestly it felt like something was just sitting on him.

Was that how it was supposed to feel?

"You in or not?" Jimin murmured softly, running his hands down his shoulders to the front of
his chest. He rocked forward, ass pressing again on his thing, and honestly Taehyung didn't
know what he should do because he wasn't getting hard.

Oh god. He wasn't getting hard— w-was his dick broken?

"Sure. M'down," Taehyung sputtered, hoping that maybe if they kissed or something, things
would get along. Frick, it usually got hard around Jeongguk. Hopefully it wasn't anything
bad, right?

When Jimin kissed him, he tried to focus on the way his lips moved slowly over his. His
hands were every where, but Taehyung couldn't bring himself to enjoy it— he wasn't sure if it
was because he was tired, or his dick was kinda not working no matter how much Jimin
grinded down on him.

He could tell it was frustrating the older by the way their tight-lipped kissed was broken by
his tongue sliding into his mouth, working him open. He tried to grab at his hips, guiding
every little movement to try and get off.
It wasn't working. Why wasn't it working?

He nipped at Jimin's full lips, tongues clashing, sucking on one another and some saliva
dribbling down the side of Jimin's mouth. Pent up frustration building in the back of his mind
as he dug his fingers into his hips.

God, Jimin was all over him— shouldn't he be hard? His expensive perfume suffocated him,
his lips were sweet with gloss, and when his teeth grazed Jimin's lip he moaned and devoured
every sound.

But nothing was working!

Erectile dysfunction was not hot!!!

So he tried to think about what Jeongguk would do as Jimin popped his lips off his with a
lewd wet noise and began to trail kisses down his neck. If he wasn't in the mood, he had to
think about something hot, right?

Taehyung squeezed his eyes shut, and the first thing that came to mind was Jeongguk but not
in a "oh my god I need his help" way, and it just wouldn't leave his head.

Oh god, it was bad, and with his eyes closed he could visualize it. In the dark, the only
sounds being the obscene squelch of Jeongguk's mouth struggling to bob up and down his
length. He remembered his eyes were narrowed with lust, and the warmth of Jeongguk's lips
around him.

Fuck, Taehyung threw his head back on the couch, remembering the way Jeongguk gripped
onto his thigh so hard he saw the bruises the next morning and the other hand wrapped tight
around his shaft.

All he could picture was Jeongguk's features lit up by the moonlight spilling from between
the blinds, his gaze never once leaving his. Fuck, he could picture the tears around his eyes,
and the dirty noises the younger made when he choked around him.

Jeongguk's uneven, heavy breaths, and the strangled moans he let out when Taehyung bucked
his hips upward and his cock hit the back of his throat, making him gag.

The way he praised Jeongguk lowly, voice rasped, and the boy would sink his mouth lower,
trying to
get all of him into his mouth. The little mewls he cried out when Taehyung yanked at his hair.

Part of him slipped further, imagining things he shouldn't like running his hands down
Jeongguk's toned arms. Feeling Jeongguk beneath him, their bodies pressed hotly against one
another, the boy crumbling beneath every kiss, moaning into Tae's mouth and begging him to
fill him up.

If he wasn't hard then, now he was.

Jimin was kissing down his neck, leaving wet kisses and alternating between playful nips and
sucking as Taehyung reacted properly. Okay, this was good, it was working. Things were
working.

The older finished his work on Taehyung, bringing his head up so now their faces were
leveled. They were both breathing heavily, their chests rising and falling at different rhythms,
but nonetheless the wind was knocked out of his lungs.

He kissed him again, intensely without any patience as if he wanted Taehyung to do more. He
coaxed him with his tongue and his hands touching him beneath his shirt.

But while Jimin thought of him, all that occupied Taehyung's mind was Jeongguk. Plagued
his every thought, clouded his senses.

"Fuck, Jeongguk," He mumbled against Jimin's lips ever so softly that the older missed it, the
name that didn't belong to him being devoured anyways.

And although Jimin didn't catch it, too focused on kissing him, the younger instantly realized
what he did wrong the second it left his lips, and he knew damn well how bad it was.

He fucked up.

"I'm sorry, we can't do this right now," Taehyung removed his lips from his, panic seizing his
throat as he realized he just pictured his best friend in a way best friends shouldn't think of
one another.

"What do you mean? You're hard, I'm hard. Sex is the easy part," Jimin said, trying to
forward and kiss him again, but Taehyung pushed him back, not in the mood.

"No, I can't. I'm sorry, I can't," His throat swelled up as his hand flinched away from Jimin's
hip, going to his hair and running through his blue locks. "We can't do this."

Jimin tried to kiss down his neck, and he just couldn't stand it— "I said, stop."

"Well if you want, I can just suck you off then?" The blonde said, wiggling his hips over his
lap, but to be honest it didn't do much but ruin more of his mood and eased away at the
tightness in his jeans.

He shook his head, lungs practically working against him, "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why? Are you scared 'cuz you're small?" Jimin snorted, trying to lean down and kiss his
jaw, but Taehyung was quick to press his hands on his chest, keeping him back.

"I've seen my fair share of small guys, Tae."

"N-no that's not it at all," He swallowed thickly, tugging at his scalp, wishing he didn't have
to think about Jeongguk but of course it slipped into his mind— frick this was so wrong.

"Then what?" Jimin raised an eyebrow at him, waiting for an answer, clearly impatient.

"It's a choking hazard."

"And that's gonna stop me?" Jimin scoffed. "C'mon Tae, everyone our age has sex. It's
natural, and you've done it before so why don't you wanna do it with me?" He didn't
remember, did he.

"I just don't want to do it," Taehyung said. "Now please, get off of me." He nudged him off,
ignoring the way he was staring daggers at him, probably thinking of ways to demolish him
for leaving him hard.

"I said, get off!" He gulped, panic wrapping itself around his neck, suffocating him.

"God, what are you so scared of? It's sex. You're almost eighteen," He snapped, listening to
him. "Don't be weird about it, Taehyung."

"What the hell? I thought you would understand," The younger's brows furrowed as he got
off the couch, scrambling over to reach his jacket hanging on the edge.

"I just don't want it right now."

"Fucking hell, Taehyung. You're such a pussy," Jimin shouted, jumping to his feet as
Taehyung struggled to put his arms through his sleeves.

"Everyone does it. Everyone our age has done it."

"And that means I should do it? You need to get that I don't wanna have sex with you on a
couch on our first date," Taehyung exclaimed, gesturing at the couch angrily, the panic that
once ate him now bubbling into irritation.

"You don't have the right to guilt trip me into this!"

"M'not! I'm just telling you to grow the fuck up!" Jimin screamed.

"You can't tell me that either," He growled. "I just don't want us to do it like this. It's not
right."

"So what? You want me to take fucking rose petals and make a litte heart on my bed? Light
fucking candles while I'm at it?" Jimin chased after him as he sped toward the door, wanting
to get out of here and pretend none of this happened.

"What, want me to play music in the background while we 'make love'?" The blonde
snatched his wrist, holding him back before he could leave. The younger whipped around,
scowling.

"Want to make love with me, Taehyung?"

"Shut up! Just shut up, okay? I don't want to have sex with you!" Taehyung nearly yelled,
trying to keep his temper together. "I'm not there yet and I don't appreciate you making fun of
me."

"Then when will you be? I want to fuck you!"

"And I want to date you!" Taehyung shouted, "but I guess not everything fits our
expectations, right?"

"This isn't about me isn't it?" Jimin eventually said, tone low, watching as Taehyung ripped
his wrist away from him, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets.

"What? Of course not," Taehyung snapped, jaw tightening. Jimin rolled his eyes, nodding
like he knew the answer.

"It's about Jeongguk isn't it?"

Taehyung's expression fell. "Don't."

"Don't what?" Jimin raised an eyebrow at him.

"God, Jimin what is your fucking obsession with him?" He groaned in frustration, anger
rising up his throat. "I don't want to have sex with you because I'm not that guy, Jimin."

"I don't just fuck and run!" Taehyung shouted.

"Oh shut up, it's always about Jeongguk this, and Jeongguk that. All you care about is
Jeongguk!" He screamed, "and that's why you won't fuck me! Cuz I fucked Jeongguk!"

"You won't fuck me because all you would do is think about him the entire time!"

"That's not true," Taehyung scoffed, shaking his head. Oh but it was. "God, I thought you
would understand." He said, turning to leave but Jimin stopped him, running to the door and
blocking it.

"You can't do that to me," Jimin jabbed a finger at his chest. "You're a little bitch, Taehyung.
You're gonna go to Jeongguk and cry to him now, huh?"

"Not everything is about sex," Taehyung sneered, "and no. I can't believe you just said that."

"Get out of my dorm," The blonde shouted, pulling the door open. "Get the fuck out of here."

"Gladly," The younger spat, and with that, he walked out.

He didn't know what he was feeling as he walked as fast he could, wanting nothing but to get
out of that suffocating apartment. Taehyung swallowed thickly, head aching and heart heavy
as he tried his hardest to forget what happened but his mind wouldn't let him.

All he knew was that someone just tried to force sex on him, and that he just sexualized his
best friend in his head after promising him he wouldn't.

He fucked up, and Kim Taehyung never fucked up.

Everything that led up to him coming back to the dorm was a blur. Somewhere along the
lines he started to cry— out of frustration or hatred? He didn't know but he began to hiccup,
and his vision stung and became all blurry with tears.
When he approached the dorm, hands trembling as he jammed the keys into the lock.
Taehyung wiped the tears falling from his eyes, hoping his contacts didn't fall out or else he
would be totally screwed more than he was as the door finally unlocked.

But he paused, breathing shaky as he heard laughter behind the door. Slowly, sniffling, he
opened the door to see Jeongguk in the living room with the guy from Sunshine Sips and
Yugyeom and San.

They were playing video games and eating snacks, laughing around. Jeongguk was trying his
hardest to not fall off the couch, his face red with laughter as Yugyeom and San seemed to be
acting out the 'Team Rocket' pokemon scene with voice acting.

Taehyung opened the door fully, trying to slip in without being noticed. He carefully wiped at
his eyes, a little happy that Jeongguk was at least enjoying himself tonight.

Maybe things were working out with the guy after all.

Maybe he didn't need him anymore.

"Taehyung?" He stopped in his tracks, realizing the room silenced, and everyone was staring
at him. It was Jeongguk, of course, who stopped the action.

"I'm okay," He said defensively, the first thing that came to mind as he tried to hide his face.
"I'll be in my room." He whispered defeatedly, dragging himself to the isolation of his
bedroom.

"W-wait, Taehyung—," He already shut the door before he could hear him.

When he finally got inside, he stood in the center, hands curled into fists by his sides as his
entire body trembled. Taehyung bit down on his lips, trying so hard to stop himself from
crying, but it was as if a wave crashed over him, and soon he was crying.

Over what? He didn't know anymore.

He was just crying his eyes out. Taehyung covered his face, sobbing into his palms, nails
clawing at his skin as he hunched over. God, he let it all out, and he supposed it was the
shock from everything.

To think, he told himself no more tears once he got the make over, and here he was, crying in
the dark of his bedroom like a pathetic loser.

Taehyung was too distracted by each heavy sob that wrecked through his body to even realize
somebody opened his door. He didn't hear them, and when he felt someone touch his back, he
flinched, turning around to see who it was.

"Specs?" It was Jeongguk, voice soft and worry evident in his big doe eyes. Taehyung
hiccuped, forcing his lips into a smile but it wouldn't hold.

"Fuck, c'mere," Jeongguk whispered, holding his arms out for him. Taehyung glanced
between his arms to his feet, but it didn't take him a moment to even consider not running
into his arms.

Taehyung sobbed, pressing his face to the warmth of Jeongguk's neck, letting the boy engulf
him into his embrace. He let Jeongguk's gentle touch run down his back, his other patting
down his hair as Jeongguk held him close to his body.

"What happened? Do I need to hurt someone?" The younger asked, but his questions only
made him sob harder, each cry ripping through his throat.

Jeongguk tightened his hold around him, crushing him, but it didn't matter even though his
tears were staining his shirt and getting his skin damp. He cried harder, letting Jeongguk rock
him back and forth.

"It'll be okay Tae," Jeongguk murmured, running his hands through his hair, the other rubbing
at his hip to ease him. "Everything will be okay."

He pressed a tender kiss to his forehead, gently whispering to him the same assuring words as
he carefully pushed his hair behind his ear. Taehyung eventually calmed down, whimpering
against the younger's body.

"I'm here for you," Jeongguk whispered, "I won't leave you." He ran his hand down his back,
lips moving against his forehead.

"I got you, Taehyung. I have you."

And this, this is when Taehyung realized there was more. There was so much more to what
he felt.
 on purpose & accidental grinding

♡♡♡

"If you wanted to get a new animal, you could of asked me and I'd give you Yugyeom and
San," Jae held the door open to the shelter for Jeongguk, a scowl on his pale features when
San and Yugyeom pust past him to get in.

"We aren't animals," Yugyeom said, sauntering over to where Jeongguk stood with an
eyebrow raised at them both. "Bitch, we're alphas."

"That doesn't make any sense," Jae sighed, shutting the door. "Rowdy, prepubescent man
children are a better fit."

"Ouch, don't be rude 'cuz you'd be a beta," San flicked his cousin's forehead, a goofy grin
slacked over his lips. "Okay, so what's the plan? Why are we here Jeonggukie?"

"Please don't call me beta. God, I don't wanna get into your kinks right now," Jae rolled his
eyes.

"I mean, could we call you omega?" Yugyeom wiggled his eyebrows, earning an irritated
groan from the older. "But omegas are... you know."

"Jeongguk please," Jae pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose. "You're less stupid.
Please stop dumbfuck one and dumbfuck two."

Jeongguk was standing quietly, arms crossed over his chest, a finger perched between his lips
as he watched his new friends bicker with one another, amazed they haven't thrown an
offensive comment.

"Um right," He realized they were waiting for him to talk, and he cleared his throat, adjusting
his brown champion hat.

He didn't know why he brought them here actually. It was a last minute idea, and before this,
he was hanging out with Jae, talking about volleyball and how much of an idiot he was for
Specs.

All he knew was that he wanted to cheer Taehyung up— easy, right? For some reason, after
that night which he refused to talk about, Taehyung wasn't really in the best mood. In fact, he
wasn't even in the mood for anything.

Jeongguk wasn't a full idiot no matter how hard Taehyung tried to hide it. If he wasn't
laughing at his dumb jokes and spent most of his time curled up into a ball in his room,
refusing to spend time with him, something bad was up.
He didn't mind that Specs wouldn't tell him. He knew he would tell him on his own time, but
it was somewhat bothering him not seeing him around. All his nights were lonely without his
boxy smile and weird fun facts, and whenever Specs did come out, he could tell he was
crying.

Specs was there for him whenever his mood was terrible, so it made sense that Jeongguk
should cheer him up. After all, he was his best friend, and he missed him now that Specs
denied to go out.

Okay but it took all the effort not to pull him into a big hug and kiss the tears off his face and
give him little compliments to boost his confidence in himself. However, Jeongguk knew that
wasn't his place.

So, he came up with a platonic-er solution, and somehow he thought it was a good idea to
round up his new friends while he was at it.

That was how he was stuck with two fucking idiots and a very intimidating aroace.

"We're here to cheer up my best friend," Jeongguk declared, but all of a sudden San and
Yugyeom were coughing loudly. "What?" He raised a brow at them.

"Boyfriend, you mean," Yugyeom said in between coughs. Jae whacked the back of his head,
gesturing for Jeongguk to continue.

"That's too big of a word for him to understand right now," Jae muttered, thinking Jeongguk
didn't hear, and honestly he wished he didn't. Rolling his eyes, he cleared his throat.

"Tae's sad," Jeongguk eyed them each, challenging them to tease him, and luckily they don't.
"So it's my job to make him happy with all the things he loves. After this, we're heading to
buy some supplies."

"Do we get to participate?" San raised his hand, but of course his hand defeated the purpose
since he started to talk. Jae rolled his eyes.

"We're just helping him set it up before Kim comes back from his student council meeting,"
Jae said. The others nodded, taking in the new information surprisingly well. Jeongguk
expected them to shoot it down and call it stupid.

"Alright. If it means another step toward making my ship official, I'm down," Yugyeom
shrugged. At that, Jeongguk snorted.

"A ship? What ship?" The three other exchanged looks of pure disbelief, and Jeongguk
thought he said something wrong so he opened his mouth to apologize but San cut him off
with a warm smile.

"Taegguk. That's what we call you two behind your backs," San explained. "I came up with
it, so I get the credit." Yugyeom scoffed and elbowed his side, earning a laugh that sounded
more like a screech from the youngest.
"Since you're slow, it's your name together," Jae told him. "Kinda cute, isn't it? Taegguk
just rolls off the tongue."

Jeongguk's nose scrunched together, thankful he was wearing a hat to hide the fact his ears
were searing hot. "Can we move on already?" He asked, tone slightly desperate.

"Yes captain," San and Yugyeom saluted him. Jae nodded, sliding his hands into his pants
pockets. He inhaled slowly, glad that was over.

"Okay, well the plan is to decorate the dorm," He clapped his hands together, sliding his
palms over one another. "Tae told me about all the things that make him happy. Comics. Face
masks. Movies. All of that, I wanna do with him."

"So like a date?" Jeongguk gave Jae a knowing look, and the oldest smacked Yugyeom across
the chest. He groaned lightly, rubbing the place over his heart.

"No," Jeongguk corrected him. "It's a friendly hang out to cheer up my best friend."

"So technically a date," San said, but once Jeongguk glared at him, he held his hands up in
defense. "But platonic. A platonic date it is."

"Sure. I wanna make a fort for him because he loves them. Made them all the time with his
parents," He said, remembering the giddy way Taehyung told him all about the things he
adored doing as a kid.

"Then I'm gonna feed him ice cream and junk, and we are gonna watch his favorite movies
and read all the comics he wants!" He declared, proud of his plan. Yugyeom raised his hand,
and he supposed the point was to call on him so he did.

"Then why are we here?" He asked, gesturing around them. At that, Jeongguk's lips instantly
curved upward into the biggest smile.

"I'm gonna adopt Taehyung a dog."

"W-what? I thought we were just here to pet 'em and give them kithes," San pouted, but with
one look from his cousin, he sighed and gave in. "Okay, but how are you gonna get him in?"

"Pets aren't allowed in dorms," He frowned a little.

"My dad's the headmaster, and I've been attending class," Jeongguk shrugged like it was
nothing. "If we shove him in my jacket, we'll get past security."

"That's your plan?" Jae asked, brows furrowed. The younger nodded. "To smuggle a dog in
like illegal drugs? Gguk, you're wearing a dark hat and a leather jacket. You look sketchy."

"Nah it'll be okay," He snorted. "You can run right?"

"Yeah," Jae scowled, "I did track and cross country for years, why?" Jeongguk reached over
and patted his shoulder, a crooked smirk on his lips.
"Then we're good," Jeongguk said much to the 'i say otherwise' look plastered over Jae's
features. He glanced over at the others, "We good with splitting up?"

"Yeah, of course. We'll do anything you want us to. Friends do shit for other friends,"
Yugyeom nodded, grinning back at him. Jeongguk didn't know why his chest eased at that,
but he didn't say anything. Odd.

"I need you and San to head to the store and get the stuff I will text you," Jeongguk ordered,
finding it weird to be getting support this easily.

He honestly still expected Yugyeom and San to tell him his plan was incredibly stupid and
not worth the time. He waited for his chest to squeeze when they made fun of him, but none
of that happened. They simply gave him smiles, saluted him, and were on their way.

"Project Taegguk initiated. We won't disappoint you, Jeonggukie!" San called out to him,
waving at the older before Yugyeom and he head out.

"M'not saying we're nuch better than Namjoon and Yoongi, but we are," Jae said when they
were finally alone. Jeongguk turned to face the shorter, an eyebrow quirked upward.

"What? I could tell you're not used to support," Jae shrugged. "I'm on leadership with
Namjoon. I take piano with Min Yoongi. They're not nice guys."

"They were okay," Jeongguk murmured, though he didn't need Jae to call him out for lying.
He sighed, freeing one of his hands to run through his dark hair.

"Y'know, for some time I thought you were like them. Mean, arrogant, self centered," Jae
said. "But by the way I see you care for your team, I knew you were different. Hopefully that
didn't sound weird."

"No, it doesn't," The younger said quietly, "thanks, though. I honestly don't know why I was
friends with them for so long. All I did was get in trouble, risk my volleyball career, and get
shit all day." He found himself admitting, bitterness lacing his words.

"Nobody deserves a person who makes them feel their priorities are stupid, Jeongguk," The
older said gently. "But I get it. They had to have some good in them for you to hope they'd
change, right?"

He was right. Terribly right, and finally, it took him so long to realize it.

Once upon a time, Kim Namjoon, Min Yoongi, and Park Jimin were the best people ever—
they were his friends. His best friends. They spent every summer together at camps or at each
other's houses, the only thing that mattered were hard video game levels and sports.

Girls weren't in the picture or partying or drinking. They were still too young, awkward, and
growing up together. Jeongguk knew them all by the lines on the palms of their hand, by the
way they smiled, and the faces they made when they were upset or happy.

He missed the nights they spent overnight in his backyard, staring at up at the sky, counting
stars and making shadow puppets in the dark. He missed the times they swam all day until
their skin wrinkled, or played video games until their hands went numb.

The dumb moments where they laughed until their stomach hurt, or the times they rode their
bikes all over town. The evenings where they admitted their fears for the future, or crushes on
girls before some of them found out dick was better.

But things changed when they got into high school. People grow up, priorities shifted, and
sometimes, Jeongguk guessed they outgrow one another, and the people you once knew well
become strangers.

What were playful jokes suddenly became personal insults and attacks. The things they all
agreed on became huge disagreements. Secrets turned into broadcasts for the entire school.

He went from having them all to losing Namjoon and Yoongi. He even thought he had Jimin,
but now, he was left with no one.

Until now.

"Bingo," Jeongguk swallowed, snapping himself out of his own thoughts. "They were good at
one time, and I-I just— I don't know. I really don't get why people change for others
sometimes."

"Me either," Jae hummed. "The universe does what it wants, and all we can do is let it happen
and deal with what it throws at us. You have us to lean on, though, when shit gets rough."

"You deserve good things too, Jeon. Don't forget it."

"Yeah, I won't. I appreciate it, actually," Jeongguk nodded, trying to get used to the fact that
there were better people out there, and those better people were them. Friends that cared.
People that didn't tell him his dreams were pointless.

Maybe he did deserve this. Maybe he did deserve much better than he allowed himself to
receive.

"Alright, ready to engage in Project Taegguk?" Jae clamped his hand onto his shoulder,
pushing him in the direction of the animal kennel room.

"We're seriously still calling it that?" Jeongguk found himself chuckling as this weight
seemed to alleviate from his chest.

"Love it, like it, accept it," Jae chuckled, and soon the two of them were in the kennels,
getting the perfect dog for Jeongguk's favorite person.

♡♡♡
It was ready: all of Taehyung's favorite things combined into one big hangout.

Jeongguk was just waiting now in his pajamas, for Taehyung to comeback from the student
council meeting. On the couch, he admired the way how everything turned out— the cool
little galaxy light San found and bought, the pillow fort he built with Jae, the movies
Yugyeom chose, and the table filled with activites Taehyung would adore.

This couldn't fail— it was practically fail proof with the fact Jeongguk had a sleeping
Yeontan in his bedroom.

God, he could already imagine the giant, boxy smile on Taehyung's gentle features when he
stopped by the door, staring in complete awe at how Jeongguk transformed the space with
help of his new friends.

It would be the first time Taehyung had smiled in the past week, and Jeongguk wanted to be
there the second it happened.

He put so much effort into this! They literallly smuggled a dog by security. Yugyeom and San
were trying to distract the guard with their interpretive dancing skills, while Jae and
Jeongguk practically sprinted in with Yeontan bundled behind his leather jacket.

He even bought Taehyung a new pair of printed pajams since he realized the older wasn't
wearing them lately. Sure, Taehyung still looked great in sweatpants and plain shirts, but
Jeongguk guessed a throwback wasn't that bad, right?

And if Taehyung said he wasn't pretty, Jeongguk would passive aggressively throw
compliments at him!

He waited on the couch, staring down at the clock, fingers drumming on his thigh as seconds
dwindled down. The exact moment he heard the keys outside, he turned on the galaxy light,
watching as it played a purple, pink starry sky on the ceiling, and the LEDs that flickered a
pretty purple.

Jeongguk scrambled to the front, waiting to shout 'surprise' at Taehyung when he finally
came in. He held his breath, hoping this would do the trick, and the second he opened the
door—

"Surprise bitch!"

He shouted, causing poor Specs to flinch the second he screamed at him. Right after, he
noticed his Specs looked absolutely drained, his glasses askew on his nose, and uniform not
proper, but he watched as he stopped to look around him, features easing.

"What's this for?" Taehyung asked softly, closing the door behind him as he stepped beneath
the purple lights, eyes widening.
"You! I noticed you were bummed all week, so I decided to cheer you up, Specs!" Jeongguk
declared, a proud smirk settling on his lips.

"Jeongguk, you didn't have to," Specs whispered softly, fighting a smile Jeongguk
desperately wanted to see. Jeongguk stepped forward, grinning wide.

"I had to," He murmured. "Now, go shower. I got you everything you need in there, and when
you're done, meet me at the fort!"

"What fort— oh my god, Jeongguk," Taehyung gasped, seeing the awesome pillow fort Jae
and he spent hours trying to design. He smacked his chest, hand lingering on his heart for a
little longer.

"You are too good for this world," He could see the older's features soften, and there, he saw
the prettiest of rectangular smiles blossom on his lips.

Jeongguk's heart fluttered beneath his touch.

"Okay, I'll shower," Taehyung pulled away much to the tug of his chest wanting him to stay.
He glanced around, still very much in awe as he called out all the things Jeongguk got for
him.

Just seeing Taehyung happy and smiling again like the dork he was, was enough to satisfy
him. This was worth it, and he knew it. All of it was worth it when it came to Kim Taehyung.

When Taehyung came out of the shower, he instantly squealed when he approached
Jeongguk. He stared at him with this fondness, watching Specs gush over how cute the cactus
pajamas were and spinning in circles, begging Jeongguk to look.

"God, you're too amazing," Taehyung let out a laugh, running over to him and throwing his
arms around his neck. Jeongguk's arms came to his waist, making sure to leave a respectful
distance as Taehyung pulled his head back to look at him.

"What did I do to deserve you?"

"Wait till I tell you what else I planned for us," He grinned, and at that, Taehyung pulled
away from him, jumping from activity to activity like a kid high on sugar.

"Jeongguk! You got us face masks?!!" Specs nearly screamed, and soon Jeongguk felt his
hand slipping into his, yanking him to the bathroom.

"Come on! Let me do your hair too!"

And he let him, of course.

The two of them stood in their shared bathroom, crammed together by the only sink with
stupid and awfully ridiculous bright colored face masks on. The older was screeching about
how adorable the clips San bought were, and he hopped onto the counter to get a better angle.
"Your hair is so long," Taehyung gushed, running his fingers gently through Jeongguk's hair.
"And fluffy! It smells so good too. God, I can't believe you're letting me do this."

"Can I braid it? Oh my god! Can I put space buns!"

"Do whatever makes you happy," Jeongguk said, and for some reason, he saw Taehyung
wobble on the counter and his hand shot over to steady him.

"Okay, well, maybe I'll do space buns. Your hair is long, but not that long, and if it fails I'll
braid it," He continued, rambling about hairstyles as Jeongguk put both of his hands on his
waist, now standing between his legs.

"Please don't make me regret this," Jeongguk said, gaze meeting Taehyung's while the older
was busy tying his hair into little buns.

"Oh you won't! I'll make you pretty," Taehyung was smiling so hard, Jeongguk's own mouth
ached. The older gently patted his cheeks.

"Well if you do this, let me do something with yours too, bun," Jeongguk snorted, and it took
him a second to realize the nickname that slipped past his lips.

Taehyung froze, his hands coming to a stop in mid air. "Did you just call me bun?" He
blinked.

"Y-yeah, I did," Jeongguk pressed his lips together, inwardly cursing himself for being stupid
as his ears seemingly burst into flames.

"Was that too much?"

"Bun," Taehyung repeatedly softly and carried on fixing his hair, but Jeongguk wasn't stupid.
He didn't miss the way a subtle blush spread over his cheeks, and he just knew a way to tease
him.

"I can't believe you called me a piece of bread."

"W-what? No, that's not what I meant," He snorted, nearly choking on air, his hands
squeezing Specs's tiny waist.

"Well if you get to call me cool nicknames, I'm gonna call you something," Taehyung said
thoughtfully, his ankles brushing against the back of Jeongguk's legs. His breath hitched in
his throat as his legs enclosed around him, pulling him closer.

"And what are you gonna call me, bun?" He teased, enjoying the way Taehyung's eyebrows
furrowed and the blush on his cheeks reddened.

"I'm thinking. Let me think," Taehyung grumbled, reaching over and putting a butterfly clip
on him. He watched the older focus on him, and suddenly a light seemed to go off in his
head.

"Because I'm bun, you're toast!"

"Toast?" Jeongguk said, slightly confused. "Tae, I did not call you a piece of bread,
dumdum."

"Okay, but hear me out. Toast and Bun? Doesn't it work! Because y'know, bun is bread, and
bread is like raw toast," He explained.

"You did not call bread raw toast."

"I just did, toast," Taehyung winked, and terribly failed so it wasn't at all sexy, but to be
honest, it was sexy in his cute little Specs way.

"Don't disrespect bread," Jeongguk grumbled, gently squeezing Taehyung's waist, evoking a
giddy squeal from the older.

"Don't ruin it for me, bun."

"Fine!" Taehyung giggled, clipping yet another neon butterfly clip to his hair. Jeongguk
snuck a glance at the mirror behind him, and honestly he looked gross but he wasn't going to
tell Specs that.

"How about pumpkin?"

"What are you, a southern woman?" Jeongguk's nose crinkled. Taehyung rolled his eyes,
scoffing.

"Sweetheart? Nut?"

"Do I look like a sperm to you?"

"What about Peach?" Taehyung suggested.

"Call me peach, and I will end you," Jeongguk tried to threaten, and it took Taehyung a
second until he realized why peach was the worst name ever. The older giggled and tried
again.

"Okay, um, berry? No, too fruity. Honey bear!" He shouted, causing Jeongguk to flinch. "No?
Fine. Uh, how about lovebug! Honeybee! No— bunny!"

"Bunny?" The younger raised an eyebrow at him when Taehyung brushed aside his hair
behind his ear. He nodded, reaching over and pinching his cheek.

"Bunny. I'm your bun, and you're my bunny. Wait, no I got it. Buttercup! Nugget!"

"Tae, you suck at nicknames," Jeongguk snorted, flicking his hip. "Leave it the professional,
Specs."

"No, trust me, I got it now," Taehyung said, patting Jeongguk's shoulders when he decided he
was done. The younger looked in the mirror and grimaced as the older hopped off the
counter, laughing.
They switched. This time Jeongguk was sitting on the counter with Taehyung between his
legs. But the older wasn't very nice where he put his hands. Holy fuck, his mind was short
wiring by the way Taehyung gripped his thighs with his massive hands, holding him down on
the counter.

What a fucking friendly gesture!

"I think you'd like this," Taehyung said, tilting his head up to meet Jeongguk's skeptical gaze.
He tried to keep quiet, knowing he'd say something dumb with Tae handling him like this, so
he nodded.

"Can I call you princess?"

Jeongguk swore the bottom in him jumped out.

"P-princess?" He stammered, trying to keep his face unbothered, but the blush in his ears
seeped onto his face, setting his skin on fire.

"Yes, princess," Taehyung murmured deeply, and fuck Jeongguk wanted to cover his face. He
rolled his eyes, trying to keep his 'top' demeanor, but it was hard when he and his best friends
were pretty much switches.

"What? Don't like it, princess?" He was teasing him now. Jeongguk swallowed, trying to
finish the braid he was doing while Taehyung playfully squeezed his thighs.

"I hate you, Specs," He said, though he hated the way his voice cracked a little. Taehyung
chuckled deeply, winking at him, and this time not failing to erupt a whole bunch of
butterflies in his tummy.

Jeongguk decided to end this before it got any worse.

He finished up Taehyung's little braids without any more talking and got off that counter
before any serious accidents could occur. They washed their faces and made fun of one
another before heading out to watch movies like Jeongguk promised.

"So, on the list, it suggests Me Before You," The younger glanced down at Yugyeom's shitty
writing, trying to read the titles of movies.

"Oo I've heard about that movie," Taehyung said, getting comfortable on the couch. "We
could watch Train to Busan! Or the entire Twilight series!"

"You wanna watch Twilight when a whole ass Harry Potter series exist?" Jeongguk asked in
disbelief as he tossed the list back on the table after seeing it's a long list of cringey romantic
comedies.

Oh, and there was a note: please fuck (; and seal the deal. Yugyeom you cheeky little bastard.

"Hunger Games could work. Divergent is okay," Tae said, shrugging. "I don't care. Play
whatever. I'll like any movie you like!" At that, Jeongguk raised an eyebrow at him.
"We can watch Twilight," Jeongguk mumbled, and he knew Taehyung liked the series
beforehand so of course he went with it. He played it on the tv, and when it was settled, he
crashed on the couch beside Taehyung.

"Why are you sitting on the other side?" Taehyung asked moments before the movie started.
Jeongguk glanced over at him, brows knitted.

"What do you mean?" He snorted, crossing his arms over his chest. Taehyung rolled his eyes
and gestured at the five foot gap between them.

"Jeongguk, you can sit next to me."

"I know. I am," Jeongguk pursed his lips together, nodding along like this was normal. "I'm
vibing, you're vibing. Vibing."

"Come here," Taehyung reached over, grabbed his wrist and tugged him over. Jeongguk
whined, saying it was perfectly okay where he was and suddenly the two of them were sitting
side by side on the center of the couch.

"Nice arm," The younger found himself saying, and to be honest, he didn't know why he was
freaking out. This was supposed to be fun, but he guessed the bathroom was still freaking
him out.

"Imagine having nice arms. Can't relate."

"You have arms, Gguk," Taehyung snorted.

"Nice legs. Cool legs. Wish I had legs."

"You have legs— you know what, shut up and watch this movie next to me," The older
teasingly nudged his shoulder, rolling his eyes, but Jeongguk couldn't miss the little smile
dancing on his lips.

It was like Jeongguk couldn't focus on anything else but Taehyung's body pressing against
his. Like, sure, the whole point of this was to hang out like the best friends they were, but
Jeongguk's inner teenager simply wasn't having it.

There was a good reason he didn't like touching Specs or letting his guard down him unless
he wanted to start thinking with his sex deprived dick.

And he did not want to think with his dick— he made that very, very, very clear, especially
around his best friend.

Maybe he should have taken Taehyung's advice to fuck somebody before this, but he couldn't
bring himself to do that. There was also another reason he refused to have sex with other
people mostly 'cause he didn't want to fuck up.

By fuck up, he didn't want to moan Taehyung's name.

It was wrong, and Taehyung would never do that, and the two of them agreed to be just
friends. He didn't even want Taehyung like that anymore, but of course, Jeongguk's inner
teenager refused to do so.

Everything was going smoothly, until tonight, and suddenly Taehyung was gripping his thigh
in the bathroom! Great! Well, he guessed he could push through and try hard to keep it in
mind that they were just friends to make it to the end.

They were friends and nothing else. Everything else shouldn't bother him because that was
the truth.

"Bella has like no emotions," Taehyung said into the second Twilight movie.

"Love Kristen Stewart, but like, this girl has the emotional IQ of a fish."

"Okay, we get it, you love Edward, but don't let him be your entire personality!" He waved
his hands angrily at the tv, and to be honest, Jeongguk found it really cute. Cute in a friendly
way.

"Who's your favorite Twilight character?" Jeongguk asked, glancing over at Specs who
seemed totally invested into this movie.

"I like Alice, to be honest. I thought her pixie cut was the cutest back in middle school,"
Taehyung said after some thought. "But I guess I also like Carlise, too. Chill guy."

"I'm more of a Team Jacob person," The younger murmured, earning a jab to the stomach by
Specs.

"'Course you are," He teased, but before he could say anything else, Jeongguk tickled his side
to get him back. "Jeon Jeongguk, you did not."

"Indeed, Kim Taehyung, I just did that," Jeongguk grinned, turning to face him. Taehyung
raised an eyebrow at him, silently challenging him with the smirk on his lips.

He reached over and tickled Jeongguk's side, making the younger jump. Taehyung stared up
him, features contorted with laughter and happiness enough to make Jeongguk's heart swell
in his chest.

Happy looked beautiful on Specs.

"Is that a challenge?" He asked, catching Taehyung off guard and tickling both of his sides,
the older writhing underneath his touch.

The older let out a choked out 'yes' in between his laughing fits, and from there, it was chaos.

Jeongguk tickled him, wrestled him, wanting to be the one to win whatever this was. Their
laughters intertwined into one, the movie fading into the back ground as Taehyung's
happiness filled his ears with a melody better than any song or noise in this world.
He couldn't see from smiling so hard, his lips ached, and his lungs were squeezing from a
lack of oxygen. All he knew was that in between the mess, he ended up on top of Taehyung,
his hands trying to get his sides, while Taehyung was pushing at his chest.

And somehow along those lines, their laughter died, and Taehyung looked up at him, hands
stilling on his chest and their legs still tangled together.

"Hi there," Taehyung murmured softly.

"Hi Specs," Jeongguk replied.

God, he looked absolutely ridiculous with the two braids in his fading blue hair, but for some
reason, Jeongguk didn't seem to care. Even with dumb clips, he was still... perfect.

"Thank you," He murmured as Jeongguk bent his arms on either side of him, their bodies
impossibly close now that they were lying on top of one another.

"For what?" Jeongguk asked breathlessly, staring down at the boy beneath him like he was
the only thing that seemed to matter in that moment because Taehyung was his moment.

He always found himself at ease, and every thing,

every single worry, and all the little details that irk him seem to melt away. Taehyung was
like a breath of fresh air after drowning for years, and at the same time, he was the one to pull
him out and show him all the things he was missing.

God, he wanted to trace smile and the creases on his cheeks when that rectangular grin
appeared. Wanted to hear his laughter on repeat and feel his heart race in his chest over and
over again.

Wow. This was really fucking hard.

"For cheering me up. You didn't have to do that," Taehyung said softly, the corner of his lip
edging into a crooked smile, breaking him out of his thoughts.

"Well I missed your smile," Jeongguk admitted without much thought, seeing the way
Taehyung's features eased on his face.

"And there's only one sad bitch allowed."

"I hate you," Taehyung rolled his eyes, smacking his chest.

"No you don't," The younger snorted. "You love me."

"In your dreams," He teased, and just before he could say something else, Taehyung's
features paled. The younger raised an eyebrow at him, about to ask what's wrong until—

"Don't move," Taehyung whispered, his hands flying to his biceps, gripping at them tight.
"Please, I'm asking you not to move."
"Why not— oh," Jeongguk realized what he meant when he accidentally shifted. He
swallowed thickly, glancing down between them to see that both of their dicks were pressed
together, rubbing through the fabrics of their pajamas.

And if Jeongguk moved, he was kinda accidentally grinding on him. Yikes.

Taehyung was biting down hard on his lip, fingers digging into his biceps. "If you're gonna
move, be fast."

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean for this to happen," The younger chuckled uneasily, trying to move
again, but internally winced when the friction between their dicks made Taehyung inhale
sharp.

"You are grinding on me," Taehyung's eyes fluttered shut. "Are you aware of that?"

"Yes I'm painfully aware our dicks are touching," Jeongguk said through gritted teeth, trying
to think of a way to do this without making it weird.

"Fuck, I'm sorry. This was an accident!"

"You didn't know," Taehyung whispered lowly, his words hoarse as he tried not to move
below him.

"Can you like, roll over the couch without pressing your dick into mine?"

"I can try but," Jeongguk quickly apologized when he moved wrong, their pelvises pressing
against one another's. Taehyung bit down on his lip, muffling a groan Jeongguk did not miss
at all.

"Jeongguk, just move your hips ah— fuck don't do that!" Taehyung grumbled, nearly
groaning when their dicks brushed against one another once more.

"Well our dicks are bound to touch anyways!"

"So? Don't make them touch if you don't want this to be weirder than it already is!"

"How? They're like together?!" Jeongguk nearly shouted. "Okay, if I roll over, they gotta
touch for like a second. Can you handle that?" Taehyung nodded.

"Alright. We got this. I'm rolling now, off your dick, and onto the floor!"

"I don't need the commentary when I can feel it!" Taehyung grumbled. Jeongguk swore his
face was on fire— best friends didn't accidentally grind in one another!

Jeongguk gathered all the fucking courage he could, and when he did roll over and landed on
the ground, both of them groaned for totally different reasons.

Neither one of them said a thing, the only sound being their heavy breathing. Jeongguk
swallowed, rolling onto his back as he stared at the ceiling. This was pretty fucking awkward.
"So, you wanna meet in the fort while I go get this next thing?" Jeongguk cleared his throat
after willing his mind to be turned off by picturing chairs and shit like Edward Cullen's
glittery skin.

"Sounds good to me," Taehyung said, and with that, he turned off the tv and the two of them
scrambled away from one another.

Jeongguk didn't totally go into his room until he made sure Taehyung was in the pillow fort
before he went to go grab Yeontan. The little guy was sniffing around his volleyball bag, and
he hoped he didn't pee on it when he scooped the ball of fur up.

When he went back into the room, the lights were off except for the little fairy lights glowing
inside the fort sheets. Jeongguk inhaled slowly, trying to calm himself before he crouched
down and entered in like nothing happened.

"Jeongguk, I found this cool comic— Yeontan?" The older was sitting up, holding a pillow as
he seemed to be on his phone. But the second he saw the dog in Jeongguk's arms, he dropped
everything.

"You did not just get me Yeontan," Taehyung said, almost whisper shouting as Jeongguk
joined his side. The younger nodded, handing the puppy to him.

"This has to be some fricking fever dream."

"I got him for you," Jeongguk chuckled, glad that nothing was awkward between them when
Specs gently petted the puppy in his lap.

"How are we gonna take care of him?" The older asked, running his fingers through the dog's
coat. He was already nuzzling up against his lap, probably tired since it was almost midnight.

"We'll figure it out," He shrugged. "But I heard the last time how they were gonna start
putting dogs down, so I had to get him for you. You two are like meant for one another."

"Jeongguk, you really didn't have to," Taehyung whispered, glancing up at him. "You
seriously didn't have to oh my god."

"I told you, Specs, I got you. Now c'mon, let's read some of your favorite comics, alright?"
Jeongguk said, closing the flap to the fort while Taehyung got comfortable lying down with
Yeontan beside him.

"You know I owe you for this right," Taehyung said softly when Jeongguk joined him on the
ground and turned to his side, facing him.

"No you don't," The younger rolled his eyes. "I won't let you feel like you owe me anything. I
just want you to feel better, Specs."

"God, you're too nice," He chuckled, grabbing his phone and searching for the comic he
wanted to show Jeongguk.

"Ever heard of BJ Alex?"

And it went like that for a couple of hours— he lost track of time, reading all different kinds
of comics with Taehyung's body next to him. Yeontan was between them for some time, but
the dog didn't like how hot it was so he got up and left the fort.

Neither of them cared though.

They sat there, fingers occasionally bumping into one another, reading their favorite comics
in silence. They took the hair things out a bit ago, for Jeongguk kept complaining about his
scalp aching.

Jeongguk's eyes were drooping by the time it hit three in the morning. He set his phone on his
side, rubbing his face as he tried to force himself to stay awake. He glanced over at
Taehyung, who had put his phone down ages ago.

"Specs? You awake?" His voice was rough around the edges. He scooted closer, trying to see
if the older was up, but before he could do anything else, Specs threw an arm over him and
pulled him close.

"M'awake. Bit sleepy," Taehyung yawned, words so soft Jeongguk struggled to hear him.
"Can I cuddle you?" He asked, but he was already doing it so he guessed it didn't matter what
he thought.

"You had fun tonight?" Jeongguk murmured, feeling the older press up against him, their legs
tangled together. Taehyung nodded, burying his face in the crook of Jeongguk's neck.

"I had a lot of fun," He whispered against his skin, hot breath leaving goosebumps in its
wake. "Lots of it. With you."

"M'glad," The younger nodded, struggling to stay awake. He wasn't so sure if he was
delirious, or his body was too exhausted, but he swore he felt the older's hand on his waist
slip down his side.

It could have been the need for sleep making him imagine things. Jeongguk leaned forward,
pressing their bodies closer as Taehyung's warm palm slipped beneath his white shirt,
caressing his skin. It didn't stop there, his hand removing from his shirt and slipping down the
outside of his thigh.

"You okay, Jeongguk?" Taehyung mumbled against his neck. The younger nodded, suddenly
his senses on fire, too hyper aware of what was going on, but he still tried to fool himsef into
believing it was all in his head.

"I'm okay, hyung," Jeongguk's breath hitched when the older's hand traced down his thigh
and slipped between his legs. He ran the flat of his palm between his thighs, dangerously
close to his cock.

"Hyung? That's new," He felt his lips quirk into a smile against the searing heat burning his
neck. He exhaled unevenly, feeling the older grip playfully at his thigh, sending hot chills up
his spine.
"Call me hyung again," Taehyung nipped the side of his neck with his teeth, making
Jeongguk shiver beneath him.

His arms snaked around the older's neck, holding him close to him, the sleep making the want
he tried so hard to supress emerge. Maybe it was because his guard was down, and so was
Taehyung's, but neither of them cared because this— this was what they wanted.

He squeezed his legs together, trapping Taehyung's hand between his thighs. Taehyung
chuckled deeply, freeing his hand and pulling Jeongguk's leg over so it was secure between
his legs. Taehyung's hand ran up the expanse of his thigh, hand stopping on his ass.

"Hyung," Jeongguk mewled, pressing his head to the side of Taehyung's, feeling the older
grab at his ass, squeezing it before feeling back down his inner thigh.

"Please, hyung."

Suddenly Taehyung was pressing sleepy kisses down Jeongguk's neck, tongue dragging a
lazy stripe down the ball of his adam's apple. Jeongguk gasped, his hands finding their way to
Taehyung's hair, fingers disappearing beneath his blue locks.

Fuck, his cock was slightly throbbing, slowly growing hard with every one of Taehyung's
leisurely touches. He gasped, feeling Taehyung suck on the side of his neck, the knuckles of
his fingers brushing against the bottom of his balls.

"Want me to stop?" Taehyung asked, words slurred with exhaustion. Jeongguk shook his
head, willing his eyes closed.

"Say what you want out loud, princess."

"Please. I want it," Jeongguk swore this was some sort of dream he was living out, but here
he was, rutting his hips against Taehyung's thigh, weakly, desperately for any sort of friction.

Taehyung continued trailing effortless kisses down the plane of his neck, making Jeongguk
mewl his name as he left behind a little hickey. He nearly moaned, feeling Taehyung squeeze
the high inner wall of his thigh, hand brushing against his dick.

Fuck, it was boiling hot, sweat pooling behind his fringe. Jeongguk thrusted against him,
humping shamefully against Taehyung's thigh, wanting him in this state of brutally honest
want and need.

He felt Taehyung shift, hand gone and thigh pulled away from him much to his own
desperation. He lifted his hips, searching for any way to provide his dick some sort of
pleasure, but Taehyung wasn't letting him have it.

The older chuckled deeply into his ear, making the blush in his features deepen, burn all the
nerves om his cheeks. Taehyung carefully slid on top of him, arms on either side, trapping
him below him. His knee was between his thighs, the edge pressing faintly against his cock.

"Jeongguk," He whispered, staring down at him, his free hand reaching up and brushing aside
the hair covering his eyes. Jeongguk swallowed, his hands flying to Taehyung's hips, holding
him in place.

"I want you," Jeongguk mouthed, the truth falling out of his lips, brutally uncensored. He ran
his hands down his ass, his favorite ass, squeezing at the fat that filled up his palms.

"Always have."

"I do—," Before Taehyung could finish, the fort around them collapsed.

Yeontan barked at the mess of sheets and lights, and it took forever for them to quiet the dog
down before their neighbors awake and untangle themselves from the mess. Jeongguk and
Taehyung chuckled once the chaos settled down, the two of them lying down a good distance
away from one another.

The fort acted like a pile blankets, covering them. They were too exhausted to pick up where
they left off, to deal with their little issue on hand.

"You like it when I call you princess, hm?" Specs teased, nudging his ankle, but before
Jeongguk could reply, the older was already asleep.

And for some reason, as he lied there, staring at the older's sleep-slacked features, Jeongguk
got the idea that neither one of them was going to speak about this.

It was probably going to be forgotten in the morning.

 arguments & questionable news

♡♡♡

"Nice hickey," Jeongguk's hand clamped to the side of his neck, eyes widened as he dropped
his cereal spoon back into the bowl. He glanced up, seeing Taehyung in his uniform.

"Wonder who gave that to you," Taehyung snorted, and for a second the younger genuinely
thought he must have forgotten what happened, and a part of him was slightly disappointed.

Taehyung was staring at him, more specifically the hickey, while his fingers latched the
buttons of his button-up. Jeongguk realized he never saw the older shirtless before, but his
unbuttoned exposed a small glimpse of his tummy.

Smooth, an expanse of tan. No sight of any muscle, but a flat tummy. Then it was gone,
thoughts ending and shirt finally buttoned.

Before either one of them could say anything, his gaze averted upward, meeting his own. He
didn't know what to say, really, but Taehyung's stare was different, more intense. Jeongguk's
lips pressed into a line, and he knew Taehyung already had his fun.

It was his turn now.

"Can I ask you something hyung?" Jeongguk teased, watching the way Taehyung stiffened
while he was putting his tie on by the wall mirror. So maybe he didn't forget it— good.

"So, you grabbed my ass. How was it?"

Taehyung choked, hands fumbling around his tie after Jeongguk's words settled in. He spared
a nasty glare at him, lips tight and eyes slightly narrowed. Jeongguk's smirk grew, silently
teasing the older as he struggled to properly put his tie on.

"Wanna rate your experience? From one to fuck, Jeongguk your ass is heavenly?" He
continued, even chuckling a little to himself when Taehyung gave up.

"Don't know about you, but my ass is fantastic."

The smile he wore on his lips when Taehyung turned around broadened, gaze following his
the second he appeared by the edge of the counter. Jeongguk faced him, arms crossed over
his chest as the older eyed him up and down, expression unreadable.

"What hyung?" Jeongguk continued, enjoying the way Taehyung's chest rose unevenly at the
title.
"Embarassed to say my ass felt good?"

"I really hate you," Taehyung said, taking big a step closer, trapping Jeongguk between the
counter and his build that consisted of very broad shoulders.

"No you don't, Specs," The younger snorted, staring him down, glad that they were the same
height so he didn't have to feel more like a stupid bottom than he already was (he wasn't
complaining though).

"At least," He watched the older lick his lips, the tip of his pink tongue swiping across his
botton lip, wettening the skin. Jeongguk yanked his attention away from it, trying to focus on
his features.

"At least what?" Jeongguk challenged, standing up straighter. Taehyung simply snorted.

"At least I don't go hard in a milisecond when I get called princess." At that, the younger
deflated, ears already burning at the nickname.

"Oh, and don't forget. You humped my thigh, too."

"I-I, hey, no," He tried to get a grip of the situation, but Taehyung already won— he could
tell, and the smirk on his lips signifed another victory.

Just before Jeongguk could say something back over the tangle of his tongue, Yeontan started
yapping at Taehyung. Oh, right, they had a dog now. The little guy took Taehyung's attention,
and Jeongguk was somewhat thankful, but a part of him wanted to see what would happen.

Wait, no, he didn't. Jeongguk snapped out of it, turning back to his cereal, wondering what
the hell he was thinking. Maybe it was the dumb exhaustion talking, or the fact he was
heavily sex deprived.

So sex deprived, he really wanted Taehyung to pin him against the counter. What the fuck,
Jeongguk.

"Hey little guy," Taehyung picked the ball of fluff into his arms, letting the little dude nibble
at his long fingers. "I didn't forget about you, Tannie."

And I didn't forget about how you touched me last night and made me so hard it hurt but it's
okay. Twas a vibe anyways, Jeongguk wanted to say but he supposed it was better to stay
quiet.

"Do you have a plan for how we're gonna take care of him?" He asked, petting the puppy
with a gentle smile, the suggestiveness in his stare already gone.

"Made shifts with my friends," Jeongguk cleared his throat, trying to push all his gross, sex
deprived thoughts out of his mind to actually have a decent conversation with his best friend.

"Yoongi and Namjoon?" Taehyung asked, but the younger simply shook his head.
"Nope. San and Yugyeom agreed to be his uncles. We couldn't get Jae to agree, but he said
he'll take care of him," Jeongguk told him, watching as the older set him back down so he
could feel him some kibble Jeongguk bought the other day.

"I'm glad you have new friends," He said, joining the younger by the counter once more
while Yeontan munched happily on dog food.

"Me too," The younger nodded, but he could tell Taehyung wasn't focused on him— his gaze
was fixed on the hickey on his neck. Jeongguk's brow furrowed as Taehyung's hand gently
brushed his neck, thumb pressing lightly on the bruise.

"What are you doing?"

"I don't really know anymore," Taehyung murmured.

When his hand dropped back to his side, Taehyung's gaze shifted upward, finally meeting his.
Neither one of them said a word, and Jeongguk wasn't sure if he wanted to say anything, if
there was really much to say to one another.

They were aware of what happened last night— he knew that for sure. He swore he could
still find the older's hand heavy between his legs, squeezing his thighs tight while he left light
kisses down his neck, mumbling his name in between each gentle press of his lips.

It wasn't exactly what best friends did, and he wasn't so sure what they did anymore, but he
knew he certainly wasn't going to be the idiot who brought it up and made things awkward.

Thankfully, Taehyung was the first to clear his throat, "I guess we should get going?"

"Yeah, we should," And Jeongguk guessed that was it. They weren't going to talk about it,
and he supposed maybe it was the right thing to do.

♡♡♡

"So did ya'll fuck?"

Jeongguk was drying his hair by the locker, a towel wrapped around his waist as Yugyeom
and San sat on the bench in front of him, looking up at him like two little puppies waiting for
a treat.

"Excuse me?" Jeongguk asked, bending down to grab his shirt off the floor and wincing
slightly, his knee aching dully but he didn't put much thought into it since this wasn't the first
time. His knee was probably just sore again.

"I asked, did ya'll fuck?" Yugyeom smirked. "You haven't told us shit for a week, but If I was
Kim, I wouldn't reject your body." At that, Jeongguk rolled his eyes.

"Like look at you. Pure, walking art of muscle."

"Gyeom, you're straighter than a pole," Jeongguk snorted, smacking him with the edge of his
towel, unable to hide his smile. God, he was dumb.

"Friendly reminder that even poles can have dents in them," San cut in, giggling when
Yugyeom nudged his side, telling him to shut up.

"Okay but please, spill. We're dry, and Jae refuses to talk to us 'coz Yugs broke his vibrator."

"Hey!! I thought it was those bendable ones for your back!"

"I— you know what, I don't need to entertain you," The oldest grimaced, drying off the back
of his hair. "Plus there's nothing to say." He rolled his eyes again when the two idiots
deflated.

Well, most of that was a lie. Something did happen, and Jeongguk was sure both of them
were aware but some silent agreement to never mention it was put into place right away.

There really wasn't much of a question when both of them woke up with raging boners.

Jeongguk really did expect things to be weird, but the mutual decision to pretend that never
happened seemed to work wonders on them. Taehyung and he continued the same, spending
time together every chance they could, and ending their nights on the couch sitting two feet
apart.

With the addition of Yeontan, the two of them had been spending even more time than usual.
Jeongguk knew how to smuggle the guy out of the dorms for walks and potty breaks, while
Taehyung chased after him, laughing so hard and whisper-yelling for him to not drop the dog.

Things were practically perfect with Specs, and there was nothing Jeongguk wanted to
change about that.

He couldn't complain when both of them were finally happy. Recently, Taehyung seemed to
look better than he did almost two weeks ago.

"Please tell us if you fucked," San begged, clasping his hands together along with dumbfuck
right next to him. "We need gossip to thrive."

"No you don't," Jeongguk quickly pulled on a pair of underwear and some sweatpants
beneath his towel before dropping it to the ground. "But," He raised an eyebrow at them the
second they shot up in posture.

"We did not fuck. Sorry." Yugyeom and San groaned, all their hopes going down the drain.

"Hear me out," The oldest said, hanging his towel in his locker while the two exchange
gloomy looks with one another. "I don't want Specs like that. We made it clear we're just
friends."

"Friends my ass," Yugyeom crossed his arms over his chest. "I see the way Kim looks at you.
Looks like he wants to dick you down."

Jeongguk nearly choked on oxygen, and before he spoke, he cleared his throat in order to
regain his composure. "That's not true. You're seeing things."

"And you stare at him like you wanna dick him down too," San added, interrupting Yugyeom.
"It's mutual. Ya'll wanna shove your dicks into each other'sass.

"I think that's a strong reason to date him."

"There's also your chemistry. Ya'll are too close to be just friends," Yugyeom said. "Even I
don't cuddle San at night like you two do."

"Who told you that?" Jeongguk's eyebrows knitted together, the older's ears burning as he
grabbed his shirt out of the pile of clothes in his locker. These two were ridiculous. San rolled
his eyes.

"We didn't know, but you basically confirmed it!" He said, throwing his arms exasperatedly
into the air, but before he could saying anything else—

"Kim Taehyung's a slut."

Jeongguk stiffened after he put on a shirt, his jaw clenching tight the second he heard those
words. He slowly turned around, unable to ignore the way his heart tightened thinking guys
like San and Yugyeom would say something like that.

God, he thought they were his friends, some people that were better than the guys that
Jeongguk once let get close to him. But when he studied both of their faces, he realized it was
neither of them for the way both of them got to their feet to find who said that.

"Who said that?" Jeongguk said, voice oddly cool as the lockerroom chatter fell silent. He
surveyed the faces of boys he knew, and those he wasn't quite so familiar with, trying to find
the culprit.

Nobody could say that about his Specs without any consequences.

"Let me repeat myself again," He snarled lowly, fists clenching at his sides. "Who said that?"

"That wasn't funny you guys," San snapped, and it was weird, seeing him angry; eyes
narrowed, jaw tight, and shoulders squared. Yugyeom was the same but seemed to be more
focused.
Everyone was silent now that Jeongguk walked to the center of the lockers, stare hardened,
features unreadable, and radiating pure intimidation as he scanned the crowd of boys, looking
for the bastard who said that.

It was dead silent except for the occasional sound of metal clinking against another locker, or
the uneven breaths of a freshman not at all used to Jeongguk's calmed and collected rage
directed toward them.

It was suffocating, room boiling, and everyone suddenly felt the pressing weight of guilt
despite the fact only one person spoke.

Everybody knew to never piss off the captain, or else they wanted to face his rage.

"I said what I heard, cap," He swiveled his head to the voice that spoke up, teeth grinding
against one another from how hard his jaw clenched.

He knew who the person was the second his gaze fell on him. Pretty face, too muscular and
bulky for a volleyball player (showed his true priorities), and was a regular on the bench,
always talking shit instead of improving.

A wreckless junior. Big-mouthed. One of Jimin's.

Jeongguk sauntered toward him, slowly at first, taking his precious time to get to him,
knowing every second was probably eating away at his nerves. The junior was scared, the
unbothered front merely a facade which Jeongguk himself personally knew.

"Who told you that?" Jeongguk asked, stopping in front of him, arms pressed behind his back
because he knew he was the captain; he had morals, control.

He couldn't throw a punch— it would hurt the team, and it wouldn't do anything more but
make a mess. As much as his fists itched to get a hit on this guy for talking bad on his Specs,
he knew he couldn't.

So he had to deal with it another way.

"Doesn't matter who did. I stick to my word, cap," The junior bit, trying to spit venom on
him, but Jeongguk wasn't having it. He took a step closer, gaze narrowing, lips creasing into a
permanent scowl.

"Really? And do you know Kim Taehyung?" He asked, eyeing him up and down. He never
liked the guy. Bastards that joined just to get a hook-up and not because they loved the sport.

"No, but all I know is that he's a desperate slut," The junior snapped. "Heard he begged for
Park's dick a couple weeks ago. Cried his eyes out when Park said no." The fuck.

That did not sound like Taehyung— Jeongguk knew that. He didn't even want sex.

"Don't ever speak about him like that," Jeongguk sneered, "What's your name?"
He demanded, but when the junior said nothing, he banged the side of his fist against the
locker, making everyone in the room flinch. Even the nasty little fucker.

"Kang Jungho," The brat swallowed, still trying to look tough but Jeongguk was already
cracking at his facade. Fuck, he wanted to punch him, give him hell for talking about
Taehyung like that but he couldn't.

So he cleared his throat, lightly shoving the junior back as a silent warning before turning
around to survey the entire room of fearful faces. He tried his hardest to keep calm, knuckles
white by his sides and veins protruding from his clenched muscles.

"Everyone get dressed," Jeongguk shouted, "Kang here just earned you two miles to run." He
turned around to face the junior amid the silence, ignoring the groans of everyone else as he
zeroed his attention on the dumb bastard.

"You, you get five. Run me five miles, and tell me where the hell Park Jimin is," He seethed,
practically trembling with rage.

The junior finally broke and pointed toward the showers. Jeongguk nodded briefly, shouting
at them to run the entire time, a vein throbbing in his neck. However, he glanced over at
Yugyeom and San apologetically, and the two jogged over to him.

"Two miles are nothing for us cap. We'll deal with bitchass, and you go deal with Parky,"
Yugyeom patted his back, and with one last assuring smile from San, Jeongguk went to find
Jimin.

"Go defend your man!" He heard San shout from behind him.

He maneuvered around the lockers, seething with pure, unadulterated agitation as he

approached the showers only seeing red. He was a little relieved the junior was saying the
truth when he saw the steam and heard the running water drum against tiles.

Jeongguk leaned against the wall as Jimin shut off the shower, fuming. He pushed off it when
he heard the water stop, and he stood there, impatiently waiting for Jimin to get dressed.

And when he emerged, Jeongguk's brows furrowed, jaw tightening and shoulders tensing as
the older greeted him with a smile.

"Nice to see you Jeonggukie. It's been awhile, and you know, Namjoon, Yoongi, and I miss
you," Jimin mused, but Jeongguk wasn't having it.

He already gave him his time, spent every ounce of his patience and understanding into Jimin
just for his trust to be broken over and over again. He was done with it— done, with him.

He should have left him a long time ago. Fuck, he should have never let Taehyung date him.

"What happened with Taehyung?" Jeongguk snarled, following after the older back to his
locker.

"Nothing. We're doing just fine," Jimin said cheerfully, ignoring the way Jeongguk scoffed.
"Bullshit. I heard one of your fucks call him a slut. You know damn well he isn't like that,"
He snapped, but Jimin wasn't listening to him. He stopped and slammed the side of his fist
against the lockers, making Jimin stop and flinch.

"Look at me," Jeongguk shouted, finally able to blow off some steam now that nobody was in
the room. "I want to know what happened."

"Why do you care? You said yourself you already heard it," Jimin finally turned around, arms
crossed over his chest. "He's a slut, but you don't wanna admit it."

"Because I know him for fuck's sake!" He yelled. "I fucking know him, and he doesn't—,"

"—And so? People could change, Jeongguk. Your little innocent 'Specs' wanted me so bad,
but I wasn't ready for it," Jimin flinched as Jeongguk shook his head, shoving his fingers
through his hair.

"Stop the lies, already. Stop playing the fucking victim," Jeongguk shouted. "I'm tired of this.
You acting like you did nothing wrong when you did. He was hurting because of you."

Suddenly, his shoulders dropped, his entire blood running fucking cold. "You forced him to
have sex with you, didn't you?"

"Gguk, you're really believing him over your best friend? I know more about you than he
does. I know about your sisters, and your mom," Jimin rolled his eyes, but he could hear the
break in his voice.

"Y-you forced him to have sex when he wasn't ready," His voice dropped to a whisper as he
stared at the older, expression unreadable.

"Stop this," Jimin stepped forward, shoving him back. "You are my best friend. You should
be on my fucking side! Not that attention seeking slut's!"

Jeongguk froze, swatting Jimin's hands away from him. He swallowed thickly, chest
tightening as he could picture the fear in Taehyung's eyes, the hurt that followed his Specs for
weeks, and the tears he so badly wanted to soothe. All of that was because of him— Jimin.

He finally looked up, jaw clenched so hard, a muscle twitched on the curve. He shook his
head slowly, tongue poking aggressively into the side of his cheek.

"You're not my bestfriend anymore."

"Gguk, please—," Jimin started, but Jeongguk cut him off.

"Don't. I thought we could get over this, but I guess we can't, hm?" Jeongguk scoffed, placing
his hands on his hips, trying to refrain himself from punching somebody today.

"We're done. I should have ended this in the summer. I knew you couldn't handle it."

"Jeongguk, I'm sorry. I was just mad at him, at me, at us," Jimin said, desperation building in
his words as Jeongguk refused to look at him. "He was being so frustrating, and I don't know.
I swear I—,"

"—Shut up. Shut the fuck up. Don't use what you did to justify for anything else," Jeongguk
said, tone oddly calmed despite his entire body trembling with rage and disappointment.

"We can talk about this!" The older tried, but at that, he simple rolled his eyes and scoffed.

"You want to talk? You really wanna fucking talk now? Jimin, give it up. We were over the
second we had sex and you got attached after you promised me you wouldn't," He sneered.
"And you didn't give it up and tried to pressure me into something I told you I didn't want."

"I needed you Jeongguk. I wanted you," Jimin's voice broke. "You left me when I needed you
the most, and it hurt!"

"I was there for you as a friend, but of course you wanted more. Don't you realize how much
that hurt me?" Jeongguk snapped. "You didn't respect what I wanted, and you did it again
with Taehyung."

"My mom died that summer."

"I remember," Jeongguk whispered, throat closing. "I knew that, and I offered to be there for
you, but you ignored me. You ignored me every time I tried to reach out to you."

"I needed you," Jimin repeated. Jeongguk shook his head.

"And you had me, but you just weren't satisfied," He said softly, inhaling slowly. "I loved
you, as my best friend, and it hurt you didn't understand after every time I tried... to
understand you."

"Jeongguk, don't," The older cried out, eyes rimmed with red. "I'm sorry. I'm so fucking
sorry."

"It's not me you should be saying sorry to anymore," Jeongguk whispered, sliding his hand
down the side of neck, exhaling unevenly. "I'm sorry that it had to be this way. I never wanted
it to be this way."

It was the truth. He wanted to talk about this in a different way, and maybe salvage whatever
was left of their friendship, but now there was nothing but shattered pieces left behind.

Pieces that were far too broken to put together, pieces that already dug into his skin, and if he
pulled them out, it would hurt worse.

"Me either but," Jimin sniffled, wiping his eyes with the back of his wrist. "What I want to
understand is why."

"Why what?" Jeongguk asked, watching him intently, wondering what he was going to say
now.

"Why I wasn't enough, but Taehyung was."

"Jimin, I don't want to talk about that," He said, sighing but the older clearly wasn't letting it
go.

"I want to know why you went from not wanting anything to do with feelings, to suddenly
caring for someone you knew for a short time," Jimin said in between shaky breaths. "I
wanna know why."

"Please just drop this—," Jeongguk started, though he knew he couldn't escape this. They
cornered one another, and all that was left to do was speak the truth.

"You like him, don't you?" Jimin asked, and when Jeongguk didn't say anything, the only
way he knew his answer was by the way he stared at the floor.

"I can't believe you. I can't fucking believe you."

"Things are different now," He croaked, voice like lead, heavy, weighing against his throat.
At that, the older rolled his eyes.

"Stick to what you fucking say before you hurt somebody else!" He could tell he was trying
to raise his voice, but the conversation was exhausting on it's own. Every sliver of anger, of
unsaid words, and hurt resurfaced, consuming them in a wave of pain.

"Don't you think I already know that?" He ran a hand down his face, chest squeezing so tight
he was running out of breath. "I know that."

"Tell me why you liked him, and not me," Jimin whispered, but Jeongguk just couldn't bring
himself to answer that. He couldn't. He wouldn't.

"Jimin," He opened to speak, to tell him he couldn't hurt him more than he did, but the older
was already gone.

Jeongguk swallowed thickly, heart crushed beneath the weight of the moment, realizing Jimin
was never going to come back, and that this was it.

He lost a friend. Just like that.

♡♡♡

They needed to talk.

Taehyung didn't know why he was walking in the direction of Jimin's dorm, but he was, and
he didn't know what he was going to do the moment he got there. All that was on his mind
was that they needed to talk.

It was probably a bad idea, but he just wanted to talk things out and figure out what was
going to happen between them. Taehyung supposed closure was what he needed the most,
and if Jimin didn't want to give it to him, it was okay.

But that wasn't what Taehyung cared about.

What he did care about was the fact he wasn't moving on. He shouldn't be holding onto
something like this, especially after that. His heart should have forgotten Jimin by now,
should have been too hurt to even think about him.

And yet, here he was, going to his dorm to talk. It was like his heart was tugging him toward
Jimin as if he was the person he should be chasing even though he hurt him more than he
could describe.

Funny how it worked. How the body wanted to protect itself from pain at all costs, but in the
end it craved it, wanted it.

Jimin hurt, and as much as he wanted to evade it, he was drawn right back to him like a moth
to a flame.

Part of him thought this was just adding more salt to the wound, and part of him wondered if
maybe this could fix things. Wondering about all kinds of new scenarios that could be reality
and were probably never going to happen.

He wanted to stop. To stop thinking about this, but for some reason he couldn't. At the start,
he was so committed to Jimin, thinking that Jimin was the one for him, and now it just felt
wrong to end it when he invested so much time into this.

Fuck, it felt as if it was too late to take it all back. He got the trust of his friends, got
Jeongguk to help him, changed his appearance just so he could get noticed.

It would be a waste of all their time and effort they gave him if this didn't work out.

Suddenly, his phone vibrated in his pocket, and he saw it was a message from Jeongguk. He
snapped out of his thoughts, adam's apple bobbing as he saw it was a text asking when he
would get home.

Jeongguk. God, Jeongguk.

He cared about him more than he thought he would, and they were nearing the three month
mark of their agreement. In that time, he didn't imagine this to happen— none of this was
supposed to happen.

And it did. Everything he didn't expect to happen, happened. The feelings he had for Jimin
were hanging on a loose thread. The ones he held for his best friend were a tangled mess of
cords he couldn't sort through without pulling the wrong one and end up ruining their
friendship.
When did all of this get so damn complicated?

Three months ago, he was ugly. Nobody even batted an eyelash at him. Jeongguk and Jimin
didn't know he existed. Three months ago, things were simple.

But now, things were very, very different, and he wasn't so sure if he regretted this.

Taehyung sighed, running his hand down his face as he approached the hallway where
Jimin's dorm was. He tried to come up with something to say, for his throat was already
closing and his palms were horribly sweaty.

However, before he could go up to Jimin, his phone rang. He fumbled for his phone, fingers
trembling as he saw it was Jeongguk, probably impatient.

He answered and the first thing he heard was, "I miss you Specs! Get your ass back.
Yeontannie misses you too."

Maybe he didn't regret this because if this never happened, he wouldn't have found his
Jeongguk.

"I'll be back," Taehyung kept his voice quiet, leaning against the side of the wall to make sure
nobody sees him just yet. "M'runnin' an errand."

"Well can you do it faster? Yeontan needs a walk and I ran out of banana milk," Jeongguk's
cheery voice tickled his ear, words never failing to bring a smile to his lips.

"Yeah, it'll be a moment. Could you meet me at the front of the school?" He asked, but he
could hear the younger's groan of disapproval.

"No, I'm staying here. I can wait," Jeongguk said. "But you owe me banana milk by the way.
You still owe me after I made you a fort, Specs."

"Which fell apart," He chuckled. "Fine. If you can get Tannie into his harness, I'll meet you
back at our dorm, okay?"

"Hey, it fell apart because you rolled on top of me," Jeongguk grumbled, which only evoked
a snort from the older.

"It fell apart because you kept freaking out about me calling you a princess," At that, he could
only imagine the cute little blush on Jeongguk's ears. He leaned against the wall, glancing
over at Jimin's, but before he could do anything, he saw two people.

Weird. Not a lot of people walked around the penthouse dorm areas very often.

"Shut up. I thought we weren't gonna talk about it," The younger said. "You get
all weird when I call you hyung."

"Well yeah, because you don't have respect so you calling me hyung is like a whole cultural
reset," He snorted, watching the two come into view.
"A cultural reset? Me calling you hyung is normal. You calling me princess is deleting a
whole culture altogether," Jeongguk argued.

"What culture am I deleting?" Taehyung asked, brows drawing together realizing one of them
was Jimin, but the other was a girl.

"My top culture. Stop making me look like a bottom. It's unfair," The younger said, but
before Taehyung could come up with an answer, Jimin was pressing the girl up to the door,
head ducked down and kissed her.

His heart dropped in his chest, and suddenly, he couldn't breathe.

Of course, he was hooking up with someone else because he didn't want to.

"Hey specs, I have to go. Somebody else is calling me," Jeongguk's words were like static,
the only thing Taehyung could hear being the heavy throb of his heart. "I'll see you later. It's
my sister."

And with that, Jeongguk ended the call, leaving Taehyung alone. Taehyung gulped, thankful
the wall was there to support him as he watched Jimin and the stranger make-out. His hand
was slipping into the waistband of her skirt, and her moan was loud enough for Taehyung to
hear.

He slipped his phone into his pocket, nodding to himself as he turned around, not able to
watch that anymore. Maybe that was the sign he was looking for, the sign he needed.

Maybe nothing would go to waste because Jimin was the waste.

Taehyung dragged his feet back to the elevator, completely numb the entire time as seconds
slowed into eons and everything seemed to stop. He stared up at the numbers, watching them
rise to Jeongguk's floor.

He felt nothing except the cracking of his own heart splitting into pieces. He didn't want to
cry but his eyes burned, and he wondered how he let himself get played so much. Let himself
get hurt this bad.

Right now, as he sucked in a shaky breath to keep himself from crying, he knew he needed
Jeongguk.

He wanted Jeongguk more than ever.

The walk down to their dorm was silent except for the shuffle of his feet. A few neighbors
walked by and his lips quirked into an automatic smile, but the moment they passed it
dropped back into a line void of any feeling.

All he wanted was to be in Jeongguk's arms, safe and grounded. Wanted to go back into their
little bubble where they didn't hurt eachother. In fact, that was the last thing they wanted to
do to one another.
God, he wanted to hug Jeongguk until this didn't hurt anymore, and of course, he wouldn't
tell him right away because Jimin was his best friend. He didn't want their issues to hurt him
too.

When he arrived at their dorm, however, confusion struck when he realized Jeongguk wasn't
standing at the door like he usually did. Most of the time, he was out with Yeontan buried in
his jacket, ready to run past security.

Something was wrong.

He tried to listen in for Yeontan's barks as he got his keys to open the door. Usually Yeontan
would go wild when he heard Taehyung was at the door, but the room was oddly silent. Save
for the occasional thump of feet on the floor above them.

Maybe Jeongguk went down stairs already, and he was waiting for him. Although, Taehyung
knew that wouldn't be the case because he would call first. He always called first.

"Jeongguk?" He opened the door slowly, unsure what he should be expecting. When he
realized the younger wasn't there, he went in, shutting it behind him.

"Yeontan? Where's Ggukie?" Taehyung crouched down the ground, seeing the little puppy
sitting on the couch, head resting between his paws as his harness wasn't fully put on yet.

Confused, Taehyung glanced around, trying to figure out what was wrong but nothing
seemed to be out of place. Except for the fact that Jeongguk was nowhere to be seen.

He tried to call Jeongguk again, hoping the younger would pick up now because he was
really starting to worry about him. He got a grip of himself, taking a shaky breath to settle his
nerves as he pushed his own issues aside for later.

Jeongguk was never like this. He swallowed, hand on his hip as he called the boy again,
hoping he would pick up right away. And suddenly, right as he gave up, he heard his ring
tone from his room.

Taehyung went over, though it felt a little weird as he approached his room. Out of the three
months they spent together, Jeongguk didn't ever let him this close to his room. It was the
only space he wasn't allowed to cross up to this day.

But Taehyung knew if he didn't get his shit together, Jeongguk would be suffering, and there
was no way he was going to let him do it on his own.

He decided to do it and pushed his door open, ready to get yelled at but much to his own
surprise, he was able to swing it all the way. Thankfully, right in the center, was Jeongguk
with his back facing to him.

"Jeongguk?" He called out to him softly, entering in and taking in his surroundings. It was
weird, like he walking into uncharted territory.

Jeongguk's walls were dark gray compared to his white plaster, and all around there were
trophies for volleyball and awards and pictures of his family. His room wasn't messy, more
like unused, but he could tell why Jeongguk didn't let him in.

All of this was too personal; it was his world, and it was as if Taehyung was breaking his way
through.

"God, Jeongguk," He snapped out of his awe to see the boy was trembling, his phone on the
ground by his feet. "Oh shit."

He ran to him, gently placing his hands on his shoulders as he turned him around to face him.
He didn't know what he was expecting, but he certainly did not see this coming— Jeongguk
was crying.

Sniffling, more specifically. His eyes were red and puffy, rimmed with tears that already
stained his cheeks. Taehyung's expression softened as his hands cupped his face, gently
pulling him close to him while he carefully wiped away his tears.

"What happened, Gguk?" He asked quietly, knowing this was too rare, that something wrong
happened. Jeongguk never cried.

The younger shook his head, hiccuping as he refused to look at Taehyung, shame visible in
his glossy doe eyes. The older delicately stroked the side of his cheek, easing his face up to
meet his worried gaze, murmuring 'it's okay, talk to me' ever so quietly.

"You can tell me," Taehyung said, hating the way Jeongguk looked this way, hated how it
made his heart hurt, absolutely despised how he cried softly like his pain didn't matter.

"I have you. I got you now."

Jeongguk sucked in a trembling breath, leaning into Taehyung's touch, the frown he wore
making the older's stomach twist. God, all he wanted to do was make him smile again, to
make him feel better, to take away his pain like all the times he did for him.

"Jeongguk," He whispered. "I'm here."

"My s-sister called," Jeongguk started. Taehyung nodded, gently assuring him it was okay to
take his time while he removedc every tear. Finally after some time, Jeongguk cleared his
throat, staring directly at him.

"My mom had another stroke," Jeongguk's voice broke, a silent sob washing over him.
Taehyung removed his hands from his face, throwing his arms around him, hugging him
close.

"God I'm so sorry," He whispered, pressing his lips to the side of his temple, rubbing his palm
up and down his back, trying to soothe him as he sobbed into his shouder. "It'll be okay."

"No it won't because," The younger shook his head, burying his face against the crook of his
neck.

"Because what?" He asked, his other hand running through his hair. The younger pulled
away, looking at him, eyes glazed over with this sadness that made Taehyung's stomach twist
together.

"Because," Jeongguk hiccuped, "I-I think she's dying."

 road trips & home

♡♡♡

Taehyung wanted to call this a road trip, but driving to Busan to see his best friend's sick
mother wasn't a light topic to joke about.

It was an impromptu idea, and all he wanted to do was make Jeongguk happy again because a
crying, puffy eyed and sniffling Jeongguk tugged at his heart strings. His hugs weren't
enough, and despite all the forehead kisses he gave him, Jeongguk only cried harder.

So, his mind thought, why not drive to Busan since they had break the following week?

You see, it wasn't easy, but Taehyung was able to pack them backpacks of clothes and money,
give Yeontan over to Hoseok and Jin for a few days, talk to Yugyeom and San about
volleyball, and find his car keys to the car he rarely used in a good hour.

The plan was pretty crappy, but Taehyung was sure they could do it. After all, it was worth it
to make Jeongguk happy again.

On the bright side, Busan was only a good five hours if the traffic wasn't bad. Plus Jeongguk
needed to see his mom, and he couldn't imagine how difficult it was on his sisters. They
could probably help when they get there.

It would be all worth it in the end.

Taehyung had to admit though, he hadn't touched his car in a long time. When they got on the
road, he was freaking out internally when they hit a freeway, and god merging was
horrifying.

It was then did he remember how fricking terrifying driving actually was and why he didn't
like it.

The outside world was scary! Drivers were mean, and the traffic was so congested he felt
crammed into his seat. He wasn't used to holding a steering wheel, and the longer Jeongguk
cried, he wanted to drive faster.

But of course, safety over anything, and tried to drive as fast as he could without them dying
in some freak car accident.

Jeongguk, on the otherhand, was calming down an hour into the driving. They haven't fully
left Seoul yet, but at least his quiet sobs were limited to soft sniffling. That was good, right?
"Where are we going?" Jeongguk's voice was small when he finally spoke to him, but that
wasn't what freaked him out.

He realized he practically kidnapped him. Oops.

"We're going to Busan," Taehyung said, drumming his fingers across the steeringwheel,
keeping his eyes on the road no matter how much he wanted to look at Jeongguk.

"Busan? Why?" The younger asked, voice a little raspy from crying. "It's too far, turn
around."

"Nope, we are heading to Busan to see your family," He declared. "I already called your
sister, and they know we're coming."

"You called my sister? Which one?" He heard him sit up, his clothes rustling against the
leather seats. He didn't want to look over at Jeongguk because he was pretty much shitting his
pants, but he could feel him staring at him.

"Hyejung? The oldest sister. If you're wondering, she's with the little ones. Your aunt went to
the hospital with your mom," Taehyung said, and when Jeongguk didn't say anything he
cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry if I overstepped," He added quietly. "I know you don't like talking about your
family—,"

"—Thank you, Tae," Jeongguuk murmured, catching him off guard. "But can I ask how you
got into my phone?" At that, Taehyung's cheeks warmed up.

"Y-your password was simple," He grumbled, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.
"It was your jersey number and the year you're joining the Olympics. 1220."

"Oh, I see," Jeongguk chuckled. Did he chuckle? The older didn't know but hopefully it was.
Sounded more like a choking noise though. Was he dying?

God, he was probably freaking out again. He just couldn't help it, especially because this was
one of those rare situations where Jeongguk wasn't happy, and it didn't feel right when one of
them was sad.

The car fell silent again, and while the car stopped, he decided that maybe it wouldn't hurt to
look at him. And he did, stealing a quick glance to make sure he was all in one piece.

Jeongguk's eyes were still red and slightly swollen, a hiccup slipping past his lips every now
and then. He was staring out his window, fingers twiddling on his lap. At least he wasn't
crying, but Taehyung knew he was probably worrying.

He was always worrying— that was something he realized about Jeongguk in the three
months they spent together. People thought he was all arrogant and self-centered when it was
quite the opposite.
The real Jeongguk cared. He cared about every little detail no matter how insignificant you
thought it was because to him, it meant everything. He worried if you didn't eat, or if you
were overworking.

The last person he worried about was himself.

"Um, are you feeling any better?" Taehyung tried to lighten the mood, his grip around the
steering wheel easing as they got stuck in more dumb traffic.

"Define better," Jeongguk murmured, and for a second, Taehyung thought he messed up, but
one look at him, he seemed to be alright. He wasn't that used to a sad Jeongguk, really.

"Do you wanna hear a joke?" He cleared his throat when Jeongguk didn't say anything else.
He didn't want to force him to talk— his mom had a stroke— but he didn't want to lose him.

"What do you call a donkey with three legs?"

"I don't know, handicapped?" Okay, so sad Jeongguk didn't have a sense of humor. Taehyung
loosened his shoulders, guessing this was his chance to 'cheer' him up like he did for him.

"Nope," He turned to look at him, fixing a smile on his lips. Jeongguk raised an eyebrow at
him. "It's called a Wonkey."

"I— I don't know whether to open this door and just barrel roll out or just end our
friendship," Jeongguk said, but Taehyung noticed the way the edge of his lip twitched.

He was close. Close to seeing him smile again.

"You know, at home, I got a hen who regularly counts her eggs," Jeongguk groaned, leaning
back in his seat, hands covering his face. Taehyung bit down on his lips, unable to hold his
smile back.

"She's quite the mathemachicken!"

"God, I hate you," He shook his head, groan muffled by his palm. "I'm gonna open this door
and roll, Kim Taehyung. Roll."

"C'mon!" He found himself giggling a little, heart fluttering at the way Jeongguk's deadpan
did not quite fit the light situation. "It was funny."

"You're killing me with your existence!"

"Jeongguk, you love me!"

"You removed fifty years off my life span," Jeongguk snorted, now hugging himself as he sat
up in his seat, gaze still fixed straight ahead at the sea of cars jammed in traffic.

"That's basically murder."

The two of them snickered softly, but not even that seemed to last before Jeongguk slipped
into silence. Taehyung gulped, scratching the side of his neck as he stole yet another secret
glance at the younger, worry pulsating through him.

"M'not fragile, you know. You can look at me."

Taehyung blinked a couple times, grip tightening on the whee, not quite expecting that. When
he did crane his neck toward the younger, he gulped when his sad eyes seemed to mirror his
own.

"It's not the first time, and we were aware it wouldn't be the last," Jeongguk whispered, the
first to pull away as he leaned his head against the glass.

"Were you there the first time?" He asked, voice low, gentle. For some reason, he couldn't
quite bring himself to not tip-toe around the younger, fearing he would hurt him. That was the
last thing he wanted.

"No," He said, shoulders sagging. "I was in the final round for the junior Olympics."

"Oh. M-m'sorry. T-That must have been hard," Taehyung didn't know what more to say. A
sigh fluttered past his lips as he leaned back, one hand on the steering wheel, the other resting
on the center console.

Jeongguk hummed, "Yeah. Cancelled all my summer clinics to spend time at Busan with
them until they got back on their feet. My father came by to help, but he couldn't stay for
long 'cos of work."

"Well," The older licked his lips, fingers drumming against the leather. "If your mom
survived this one, I'm sure she'll make it through and see you in the Olympics like you've
always dreamed of."

"Yeah," Jeongguk nodded stiffly. "Hopefully."

"She'll get better, Jeongguk," Taehyung said, finally able to steady his words. He glanced at
the younger, heart tugging realizing he was trying to keep himself from crying, his eyes
tinged red and chest rising unevenly.

"We'll make sure she gets to see you play again."

After that, Taehyung decided it was best to stay quiet, but he couldn't leave Jeongguk alone
with his thoughts. He knew how terrifying it was, being alone with yourself.

Letting all your doubts and worries gnaw at your every being until it consumed you whole
was a horror on its own.

So he reached over, fingers searching for Jeongguk's hand that was now resting on his thigh.
His adam's apple bobbed nervously in the hollow of his throat, breath hitching as his fingers
bumped against the younger's, hoping this idea wasn't bad.
It really wasn't his place to do this, but there was no other way to let him know he was there
for him.

Jeongguk glanced up at him, but he was already looking away, focusing on the now moving
traffic. But Taehyung didn't stop there: he reached over, gently taking Jeongguk's hand and
turning it over ever so carefully.

The younger didn't question him the moment his palm slid over his, their fingers tangling
with one another. Taehyung exhaled slowly, soaking up the way Jeongguk's hand seemed to
complete his own.

The gentle silence that enveloped the car wasn't as painful as Taehyung thought it would be.
With the younger's hand in his, he caressed his hand with his thumb, and without thinking he
brought his hand up close to his lips.

Nobody said a word as he brushed his lips softly across the ridges of his knuckles, but it was
then, did both of them realize they had each other.

♡♡♡

The second he got the phone call, his world stopped. Literally.

Jeongguk never cried, the last time being when his sister popped his special signed
volleyball, but that was irrelevant. Crying wasn't really a thing in the family— the Jeons were
strong; not even the littlest Jeon cried about anything.

But when it came to his mom, Jeongguk didn't give a fuck about looking strong anymore. It
was his mom, the one who introduced volleyball to him, the one who encouraged him to
chase his dream from the beginning.

He couldn't lose her. She was the reason he fell in love with volleyball in the first place. All
she ever wanted was to go to the Olympics, but after having them, the dream was shared with
Jeongguk.

They made plans. Jeongguk would be a starter on the Japanese men's volleyball team in the
Olympics, and she would be watching him in the stands at the perfect angle to see him play.
Then she had a stroke, and after that struggle, he thought maybe they had another shot at
following their dream.

But after being so close to finally having what they both wanted, suddenly it was out of reach
for the second time.

However, Jeongguk wasn't alone anymore.

He wasn't spending nights awake and alone in his dorm, wondering if he could pick up
another job on top of the one he already had. Letting himself worry that he bit every nail to
the skin on his finger.

Because now, he had Specs— his Taehyung. He was there, somehow able to ground him, to
make sure he wouldn't spiral into his worries. To grab his hand before he could bite his nails
and kiss his knuckles to ease his stress.

Taehyung went out of his way to help him when he didn't need to, reminding him that he had
him, that this time, he didn't need to deal with it alone.

Together, they would get through it, and he let himself believe it.

"Specs, you should let me drive now," Jeongguk noticed the older was yawning more than
usual. It was already dark, and there was some congestion but they were still able to move.

"No, you're sad. Sad people can't drive," He rolled his eyes. Jeongguk sighed, watching him
as he rubbed his eyes beneath his glasses. What a liar.

That was the thing he got to know about Taehyung. He was the definition of supportive. He
cared, and he was so much better at showing it than Jeongguk. Taehyung was so selfless to
the point he forgot about himself.

He was always busy caring for others— the school, the students, for Jeongguk. In the
process, he forgot about his own needs and lied so he could continue to wear himself thin. He
lied a lot but Jeongguk didn't take it personal.

They were the same in some way. Neither of them liked to show their weaknesses, but here
they were, always stuck in some vulnerable situation together it was starting to humor him.

It was funny, because now matter how much they tried to push each other away, Jeongguk
knew they would never fail to find a way back to one another.

"We're almost here anyways," Taehyung yawned yet again, and just as Jeongguk about to
threaten him to let him drive, from the corner of his eye, he realized they were in a
neighborhood.

His old childhood neighborhood, and for some reason, his chest felt heavy.

"Why didn't you wake me up earlier?" He whispered, taking in the homes and streets he
remembered as a little kid, wandering around to find fun in the form of innocent trouble.
"You were asleep," The older muttered. "You looked peaceful, and I didn't wanna bother
you."

"I wouldn't have minded," Jeongguk mumbled, his heart leaping in his chest when he saw the
old play ground his sisters and he used to go to all the time to play volleyball.

"But you looked cute," He said, and from where he sat, he noticed a smile twitching on his
lips.

"Looked like a whole princess."

"Oh shut up," The younger grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. God, he hated that
name, but it never failed to make his face all hot and bothered, and Taehyung knew it.

"I will. After this, I need to stretch and sleep 'cuz I might pass out," He chuckled, leaning
back in his seat and leaving one hand on the wheel. Jeongguk was about to say something,
but before he could, his gaze fell onto his arm.

Veins, many of them, strained against the tanned skin on his forearm. Circuits of them
branched down his arm and dangling from his thin wrist was the red bracelet he made for
him. It was hot, how the veins seemed to rippled with each gentle flex he made.

Jeongguk swore his mind was shortwiring, and he turned gaze away from him, hating how
his stomach fluttered. He wasn't supposed to be feeling like this; there were other, more
appropriate times.

"And here we are. Your childhood house," His low voice snapped him out of his thoughts,
and there, where Taehyung was pointing at was his home.

He was home. Well, his first home. His other one was kinda sitting right next to him.

"Can I warn you that my sisters are weird?" He said, chuckling uneasy as the two of them
unbuckled their seat belts. "They're on crack most of the time."

"Like you," Taehyung teased, reaching over and flicking the bottom of his chin. "I can handle
kids. Don't worry about me, princess."

"Stop with the princess, Specs," Jeongguk pouted, getting out of the car with him and doing
this weird half-jog, half-limp over to where Taehyung stood. His knee was messing with him
again, probably from being bent too long.

"Princess doesn't work on me, hyung."

"You're really pulling the 'hyung' card?" The older snorted, handing him the backpack of
clothes he made for him. Jeongguk took it, slinging it over his shoulder.

"M'too tired for you," He grumbled, gripping the straps of his backpack as he gestured at
Taehyung to keep walking instead of wasting time staring at him.
To be honest, he wanted to see his sisters more than anything, and Taehyung doing this meant
the whole fucking world. He didn't have to, but he did, and he didn't know if his heart could
ever recover.

So Jeongguk did what he could to thank him. He reached over, taking his hand into his. The
older was caught by surprise, his eyes slightly wide until their fingers fit into place, hands
locking perfect like they were meant to be holding one another.

"Thank you," Jeongguk whispered softly, trying to focus on Taehyung's features beneath the
darkness. He squeezed his hand tight, not wanting to let go of him, ever.

"It's really nothing," Taehyung murmured back, and as another car passed by, lights flickering
over them, he noticed a blush creeping on his cheeks.

"I told you, I got you. I wasn't lying, Gguk."

Neither of them said anything. They were standing at the front door, bodies turned to face one
another, and in that moment, nothing else seemed to matter except for Taehyung. His heart
swelled, did all the things he was oh-so familiar with.

Taehyung reached over, eyes focusing on his own, and ever so gently, he tucked his hair
behind his ear. Jeongguk's chest squeezed, stomach fluttering with emotions he couldn't
define. And yet, he knew their meaning with every inch of his existence.

"I think I—," His words were suddenly interrupted by a little munchkin ramming right into
his lower half, nearly toppling over as he let go of Taehyung's hand to stable himself.

"Jeonggukie! Ohmygosh you're really here! You escaped the mean screen!" The little girl
squealed, and he knew who it was the second he picked her up.

"Yes, I escaped the mean screen," Jeongguk held her close, not used to how heavy she got
since the last time he held his youngest sister. "I missed you!" He chuckled, blowing a
raspberry to her neck.

"Who is this?" She said after calming down from a fit of giggles. "Jeonggukie? Is he your
friend?"

He glanced over at Taehyung, who was waving at her with a gentle smile. Jeongguk cleared
his throat, "He is. Kim Taehyung, meet Jeon Hyelin."

For some reason, Jeongguk's throat closed, and he wasn't so sure if the panic was because he
was worried his sisters might not like Taehyung, or the fact he never introduced people to his
family.

All of this was new, terrifying somewhat. Sharing this part of himself wasn't really a thing he
did, but here he was, bringing Taehyung to meet his family.

And deep down, he hoped they liked him as much as he did.

"Taehyung? That's a pretty name," Hyelin rested her head on Jeongguk's chest. At that,
Taehyung stepped closer, chuckling gently as he held his hand out.

"I think Hyelin is beautiful too," He murmured as the little girl grabbed his hand. Of course,
her fingers were nearly as big as Taehyung's, so his entire hand practically enveloped hers.

It was cute. They were both cute, and the relief that washed through Jeongguk was enough to
calm him down.

"Oh? Jeongguk! You should have called," Both of them turned their heads to the doorway
where his aunt was standing, her hands on her hips. She gave them a smile, and when her
gaze on Taehyung, her smile widened.

"My, Jeongguk. Are you Taehyung? Call me June," She reached over and shook his hand, but
Jeongguk couldn't help his face from heating up when she shook it a little too
enthusiastically.

"Nice to meet you, June," Taehyung bowed slightly before returning to Jeongguk's side. He
felt the older's hand gently brush the edge of his elbow, letting him know he was there.

"Goodness, you two must be tired," June clasped her hands together. "Oh, and give me Lin.
Sweetie, you can see your brother in the morning!"

"Buuuut auntie! I miss him!" Hyelin whined, making Jeongguk nearly choke by the way she
wrapped her arms around his neck. "Oppa's never home."

"Well I'm home now, Lin," Jeongguk whispered, his gaze flitting to Taehyung's as he let his
aunt take her from his arms. "I'm home." He repeated, staring directly at the older.

June hummed, interrupting the two's moment with an all-knowing smile, "Right. You two
boys should eat. I'll let the little girls say hey, but they need to head to bed."

"Where's Hyejung?" Jeongguk asked, the two of them following his aunt into the house. He
realized Taehyung seemed a bit awkward, so he reached over and slipped his hand into his
briefly, giving him an assuring smile that everything was okay.

He dropped his hand when his aunt turned around, "Well we're taking shifts. She's at the
hospital with your Uncle. I'm on children duty." She said, eyeing the two of them up and
down.

"When can I see her?" He questioned, following her to the living room where his other sisters
were on the couch, watching a Barbie movie.

"Tomorrow after you two sleep. I hope you guys don't mind, but you need to share a room,"
She said, gesturing at the two of them.

"That's fine. He can sleep with me," Jeongguk shrugged, barely even looking at Taehyung,
knowing if he did he would think of something dirty.
"Alright well," His aunt gave them one last smile and called out, "Jeonkyung! Hyein! Your
brother's here, and he brought someone."

He raised an eyebrow at her, wondering what that meant. His aunt wiggled her eyebrows at
him, further confusing him.

Jeongguk glanced over at Taehyung, lips molded into a crooked grin as they watched both
girls shoot up from the couch and run to where he stood. In barely any time, they hugged
him, the oldest hugging his waist and the second youngest satisifed with his leg.

"You two are so big," Jeongguk gushed, ruffling their hair as he struggled to breathe from
how tight they were holding onto him. "How's everything?"

"I'm a starter oppa! I can spike just like you!" Hyein cheered, shaking his leg aggressively.
"My coach says I can be better than you!"

"Oh really? Maybe you should take my spot in the Olympics," He chuckled, the bright smile
he wore broadening to the point he was nearly squinting.

"I won another competition Ggukie! They liked my dance a lot, and Auntie said I can show
you all my trophies in the morning!" Jeonkyung squealed, staring up with him in stars in his
eyes.

But all the chaos seemed to die down when all three girls realized their brother wasn't alone.
Jeongguk hoped they would like him, especially because kids their age are hard to please.
Taehyung waved at them, adam's apple bobbing uneasily.

Jeonkyung turned to him, brows furrowed, "You had a boyfriend and you didn't tell us?!"

Both Jeongguk and Taehyung choked. Okay, he wasn't expecting that.

"N-no he isn't my boyfriend, Kyungie," Jeongguk said, feeling Taehyung's presence behind
him. "He's my best friend." Jeonkyung hummed.

"Is he your girlfriend then?" Hyein asked, blinking up at him. Jeonkyung pushed the other
sister.

"He's a boy, duh. Boyfriends," Jeonkyung argued.

"We aren't boyfriends," Taehyung finally spoke up, and Jeongguk swore his voice enchanted
his sisters. "But I know your brother well." He said, placing his hand on his shoulder.

"What happened to Jimin?" Hyelin asked, and the second she did, Jeongguk tensed beneath
her touch. He swallowed, scratching the side of his neck.

"We aren't friends anymore," Jeongguk murmured, feeling Taehyung's shocked gaze on him.
"We had some disagreements, so we aren't friends."

"Shame. Hey Taehyung?" Hyein said, suprising Jeongguk that she wasn't disappointed since
she really loved Jimin. Taehyung replied with a quiet, 'yes', his hand squeezing Jeongguk's
shoulder.

"Do you like The Princess and the Pauper?"

Oh, Jeongguk knew the answer to that— Specs was a whole twink for Barbie. Taehyung
chuckled deeply, draping his arm over his shoulder now. "Yeah. I like the Twelve Dancing
Princess more, though."

"Really!" Taehyung nodded. "I have all the dolls, and the dresses! Do you like dress-up?!"
Hyein gushed.

"In the morning we can. I see you have a tea set," He grinned, gesturing over with his chin to
the small set by the couch. "Wanna hear a secret?" She nodded eagerly.

"I can make way better tea than your brother. Every stuff animal approves of my tea, I can
assure you," At that, Hyein squealed and practically flung herself to Taehyung.

"Alright girls, time for bed. Your brother and his boy friend need to have dinner and sleep.
It's very late," June said, pushing the backs of the girls to go up the stairs.

"But auntie!" She shook her head. Taehyung and Jeongguk merely chuckled, glancing at one
another.

"No. Tomorrow you can have a tea party with them," and after a couple groans, the three girls
said their goodbyes, kissed Jeongguk's cheek, and went to bed.

"Now you two," June turned to them, both of them springing apart from one another. "Are
you hungry?"

"We can just bring the food up to my room. I think you should sleep," Jeongguk said as his
aunt brought them to the kitchen.

"I agree with Jeongguk, June. It's very late, and all of this is on very short notice," Taehyung
was leaning against the counter with Jeongguk while his aunt made him a peanut butter and
jelly sandwich, and Jeongguk a bowl of his favorite cereal.

"Don't worry about me. I'm worried about you two," June waved them off, going over to the
cabinet to get them glasses of water. "You drove a lot."

"The drive wasn't bad," Taehyung said, thanking her when she handed him a glass. June
hummed softly, watching the two awkwardly settle by the island with their food.

"And I didn't mind it," Taehyung added. "I heard his mom was sick, and I couldn't watch him
suffer from being away from you guys."

Jeongguk ducked his head, eating his cereal as he tried to hide his blush from his aunt.

"I see. You're a sweet boy," June nodded, chuckling a little. "Thank you. It's hard to be
together since our Jeonggukie's career is so important."
"June, you know you guys are more important to me," Jeongguk cut in, brows furrowing. "I'd
do anything for you guys. Going to the Olympics won't matter if mom isn't there."

"And she will be there," June murmured. "You see, Taehyung, he's a worrier. He worries way
too much! But I'm glad," She said quietly, pausing briefly before saying—

"To have my Jeongguk, and someone who makes him happy."

"June," Jeongguk set his spoon back into his cereal bowl, his entire features burning red. She
simply chuckled and shook her head, holding her hand up to silence him.

"I'll take that as my leave," June waved at Taehyung. "Goodnight both of you! I'll see you in
the morning." And with that, she left the kitchen with one last wink in Jeongguk's direction.

When she was gone, Taehyung let out a snort, "I love your family. I can see where the chaotic
energy came from."

Jeongguk rolled his eyes, nudging his side, unable to bite back the smile twitching onto his
lips. "Shut up."

"Will do, Princess," Taehyung chuckled, going back to eating his sandwich after pealing all
the crust off. Jeongguk stared down at his cereal bowl, wondering why he was worrying in
the first place.

Everything worked out better than he imagined, and he guessed that maybe introducing
Taehyung was a good idea after all.

♡♡♡

After they showered separately and groaning about exhausted they were, finally Jeongguk
opened the door to his childhood bedroom.

"Welcome to my humble abode," Jeongguk shut the door behind him once Taehyung went
inside.

"You call this humble?" Taehyung snorted, setting his backpack by the foot of Jeongguk bed
as he stared directly at Jeongguk's trophy wall. Oh that.

Jeongguk stood by the side of his bed, watching the older take in his surroundings. He never
let anyone into his room, not even his old friends, so this was odd, seeing Taehyung in here.
But for some reason, he had to admit, it felt right.
"You won awards for everything. Top student, MVP, even popular awards? This is bragging,"
Taehyung chuckled, gesturing at the bookcase of gold. There wasn't any silver or bronze
around.

"I don't know why I put them there. It's supposed to be a volleyball trophy case," Jeongguk
said, running his hands through his slightly damp hair. He turned on the lamp on his side
table before shutting off the actual lights.

"Still. I've won only academic awards. This is like a shrine to yourself," The older snorted,
observing old volleyball team pictures with little Jeongguk.

"Oh my god! No way! Your hair! It was a coconut!"

"Are you bullying me?" Jeongguk raised an eyebrow at him, sitting down on the side of the
bed. "I loved my bowl cut, thank you."

"Goodness, you were a fetus here!" Taehyung laughed, pointing at a picture of Jeongguk
holding up his first volleyball medal with missing front teeth and huge front bangs.

"Stop bullying me. I'm hurt, Specs," The younger said, trying to sound annoyed but failing.
"Come here already, I'm tired."

"You have Haikyuu posters!"

"Oh my god, you actual weeb!" Taehyung wheezed pointing at the posters he hung on his
walls as a premature preeteen. "Okay, I have these too though. I'm a sucker for Hinata and
Kageyama."

"Sailor Moon? You were a Sailor Moon fan boy? Jeongguk that's prime twink behavior," The
older was clutching his stomach when spun around, facing him.

"I had a crush on her okay," Jeongguk muttered, trying to play it cool as Taehyung walked
over to him and plopped down right beside him.

"Am I the twink, or are you the twink?" Taehyung teased, elbowing his side playfully.
"Goodness, who are you? Are you my Jeongguk?"

"Yes, I'm your Jeongguk," He rolled his eyes, gently shoving him back. "That was an old
phase, Specs. I bet you have Winx Club posters on top of your Barbie collection."

"Okay, fine touché," He snorted, calming down from the laughter bubbling in his tummy.
"God, we were nerds. You, were a nerd, and I missed it."

Jeongguk scoffed, poking Taehyung's side. "Stop. You're giving me flashbacks to dark times.
I thought you seeing my emo bangs were enough."

"It was," Taehyung exhaled, the laughter fading from his words as his gaze latched on to
Jeongguk's. "It was enough. You... are enough."

"I'm enough?" Jeongguk asked, voice softening. The older nodded, swallowing.
"Yes, you are more than enough," He breathed. "Way more than I ever needed, honestly."

"Specs," The younger murmured.

"Jeongguk?"

He didn't know what possessed him in that moment, not even a single thought ran through his
mind, as he reached up, cupped his face in his hands and placed his lips over his.

Realizing what he did, Jeongguk's eyes widened as he pulled away. But before he could
move, the older clamped his fingers around his wrist, holding him in place, their noses
brushing against one another's.

"It's okay," Taehyung whispered, breath tickling his lips. "Kiss me."

And he did, he kissed him, lips capturing his and finally letting out this sigh of relief through
his nose as every inch of him melted in Taehyung in that one moment. He closed his eyes,
holding onto him, lips brushing over his tentatively, caressing his mouth.

It was gentle— not too rushed, not too heated. All he wanted to do was remember the
softness of his lips on his own, drugging him by the way he intoxicated him, making him
addicted all over again.

"I missed you," Jeongguk mumbled against his lips before connecting their lips again. "Fuck,
I missed you, Specs."

He lowered Taehyung onto the bed, body on top of his as he pressed the side of his nose to
the curve of his jaw. "I missed you." He repeated, tilting his head to the side, lips brushing
against his jaw.

"I missed you too," Taehyung murmured, releasing his grip from his wrists and slipped his
arms around his neck. "Missed you so much."

They kissed, again, and now Jeongguk was losing count. He kissed him to remember all the
reasons why he wanted to, and at the same time forgot as he lost himself in the sickeningly
sweet way he tasted like home and every other feeling in between.

The atmosphere shifted as Taehyung's fingers drifted into his hair, gently running through his
locks. Jeongguk tilted his head, deepening the kiss, the tight-lipped exchange being pushed
aside with the addition of his tongue.

The older's jaw slacked, allowing him to kiss him in a way that seemed to open more than
just their lips. He licked at his mouth, tongues clashing, twirling, curling, wet and warm.
Tingles shot down every inch of his limbs, his nerves practically on override.

He was overwhelmed— overwhelmed by Taehyung, who smelled like fresh flowers and
sugary vanilla. By the way he tasted of faint toothpaste, and how his fingers tugged at the
little tangles he forgot to brush out, stroking his neck.
Their bodies curved into one another, fitting perfect like puzzles, and the longer Jeongguk
kissed him with every fiber of need he had, the more detailed of a painted memory of
Taehyung developed in his mind that he couldn't erase.

Taehyung was the first to pull away, their heavy pants filling the hazy, orange tinged room
thanks to the lamp Jeongguk turned on. Jeongguk glanced down at him, body hovering over
his.

He swiped at the edge of his mouth, breaking the string of saliva that connected their mouths.
The older's features crinkled with a smile, and Jeongguk wanted to give him his heart right
there.

"I don't think we should," Jeongguk murmured, bringing his finger up to gently trace his
cheek bone. "I want to, but we should wait."

"We should," Taehyung whispered, leaning his head to the side, pressing a kiss to the side of
his palm.

Jeongguk's finger curled around one of his strands of blue hair, twirling it around his finger.
"Thank you."

"For what?" The older asked, as Jeongguk rolled off of him and rested on his back. Although,
their bodies were still pressed together side by side.

"For bringing me here," Jeongguk told him. "You didn't have to do this, and you did. You did,
and so I should thank you. You better take it."

"I'll take it," Taehyung murmured, chuckling a little. He shifted to the side, the younger
following in suit. He felt his eyes on him, but he was focused with the way Taehyung took his
hand in his.

"But I want to thank you," He added.

"Because if it wasn't for you, I'd be so lost. I'm so glad you came into my life even though
you called me Porky." At that, Jeongguk let out a laugh.

He played with his fingers, intertwining their hands, tracing the veins on his knuckles and
down to his wrist. He slid their fingers together before finally taking his hand in his, bringing
it up, and kissing it before resting over his heart.

"That was gay," Jeongguk said, trying to lighten up the mood. Everything was suffocating
around the older, but to him, the pain was worth it.

"You're partially gay," Taehyung's features glowed with a ghost of a smile flickering over his
lips. He flushed red, heart squeezing feeling the way the older's chest rumbled with deep
laughter.

"You know, my family probably thinks we're dating," The younger hummed, struggling to
keep his eyes up at Taehyung freed his other hand to start tracing his features.
"They're lovely," He chuckled again, finger running down the slope of Jeongguk's nose. "I
don't mind."

"Have you ever pictured it?" Jeongguk asked, leaning into his touch as his fingers drew
around the shape of his eyebrows.

"Pictured what?" Taehyung asked, finger drifting around the shape of his lips.

"Picture you and I together. Us," He whispered. "I think it's weird, don't you think?"

"It's weird," The older agreed. "The guy who actually wins your heart will be lucky." At that,
he snorted ever so softly.

"Eh. I don't give my heart away easily," Jeongguk joked, and when Taehyung was done
tracing every feature, he did the same, outlining it with a gentle touch. "I'm sure nobody will
love me."

"Sure there are people out there who love you," Taehyung replied, voice growing weary. He
watched as his eyelids flutter shut as he traced around his slightly swollen upper lip.

"Maybe, but I'll never know," Jeongguk said. "I don't think 'saying I love you' is enough."

"What do you mean?" Taehyung whispered, leaning into his touch.

"I don't believe in saying three words to confirm a feeling for someone," Jeongguk admitted.
"I think you have to show it, to let them feel the way you feel for them."

"How sappy of you," The older snorted softly, lighting hitting his chest. "I kissed a sap."

Jeongguk's hand dropped, done tracing Taehyung's features because he already memorized
them all. He rested his arm behind his head, watching as the older was slowly about to fall
asleep, yet their hands were still tightly intertwined.

"Have you ever been in love?" Jeongguk asked, letting his eyes fall shut, content with
Taehyung's hand in his own.

"Yeah," Taehyung replied back, words barely audible. "Have you?"

"I don't know," Jeongguk murmured, feeling himself slip away. "But I might be."
 true feelings & careful lies

♡♡♡

When Taehyung woke up at that morning, Jeongguk was already gone.

It made sense that the younger would get up as early as he could to go see his own mom.
Taehyung would have acted the same if he heard one of his dads had a stroke, and plus he
wasn't an idiot; he understood how much she meant to Jeongguk.

That was why they were here instead of spending the week break at the boarding school like
every other year. Usually this was a rest period.

But this, this wasn't a vacation— Jeongguk's mom was sick, and who knew if she was going
to die.

He got up after brushing his teeth and hair, seeing that he didn't want to embarass Jeongguk
at all around the family members that did stay back. He headed down the stairs, surprised to
hear the tv was on and the thick aroma of pancakes filled the air.

Taehyung waved at the little girls who were eating their pancakes by the tv, and he noticed
even they weren't as energetic. Did something happen?

Upon entering the kitchen, he was surprised that June wasn't the one cooking but a different
taller, more athletically built woman with a black pixie cut. He guessed that June might have
left along with Jeongguk, and that this person was his sister.

Hyejung, was it? Yes, that was her name. Taehyung didn't really struggle with names, but all
the Jeons were like carbon copies of one another that he even struggled to tell apart the two
youngest.

"You're Taehyung, right?"

He stopped by the kitchen door, flinching, not at all expecting Hyejung to turn around so fast
before he could fully entire. He blinked a couple times, failing to find any words as she stared
at him, eyes curious.

"Don't worry. I don't bite like my brother," She chuckled, but despite her best efforts to seem
okay, the dark circles beneath her eyes and her heavy laughter said otherwise.

"How are you doing?" Taehyung slipped into the kitchen, deciding standing by the island was
good enough. Starting a conversation with her wouldn't hurt; after all, this was like the phone
calls but in person.

"M'holding up. Somebody has to take care of the house, right?" Hyejung said cheerfully,
pouring every ounce of herself into seeming energetic.

Taehyung swallowed, not knowing what he should do or say. He stood awkwardly by the
counter, and he could tell both of them know that her act wasn't true— it was obvious, though
he wasn't sure if he had the right to mention it.

Eventually, the silence was unbearable and Hyejung let out a tired sigh, "It's been a rough
night. She had one out of nowhere, and the doctors won't tell us if it was bad or not."

"I'm sorry about that," Taehyung whispered softly, watching her run a hand down her face. "If
you need help, I can watch the girls so you can rest?"

"Don't, no. It's fine, Tae," Hyejung waved her hand, shaking her head. "You're here as a guest.
I don't want our personal problems to ruin your break."

"It's not ruining anything," He said, "and if you're tired, I really don't mind watching the girls
for a couple hours." At that, Hyejung set the spatula on the counter, her shoulders rising and
falling along with her breath.

"Is everything okay?" He lifted an eyebrow when he noticed her shoulders shook, hoping he
didn't hurt her or anything because if he did, Jeongguk would kill him.

Hyejung turned around, her lips pressed into a trembling smile, confusing Taehyung even
more. "I can see why my brother likes you a lot."

"What?" Taehyung frowned a little. Hyejung nodded, turning off the stove with a gentle grin.

"Jeongguk never brings people home," Hyejung started. Taehyung wasn't so sure where this
was going. "He doesn't trust anyone enough to be around his sisters, or even meet them."

Hyejung returned to her finished cooking, plating the pancakes onto a plate for Taehyung. He
watched her expression soften when their eyes met, and the smile she wore tightened but not
in a fake way. It was one of gratitude, relief.

"Gguk's afraid people won't care about them, and they only seem like it just so they can get
him to date them," Hyejung said, handing them to him. He thanked her quietly, waiting on
her words.

"He dated his fair share of shallow people."

"Jeongguk's never mentioned that before," He murmured, remembering that he thought

Jeongguk was one of those people. It was different now, of course; he didn't think that.

But he did remember what Jeongguk said about never mentioning his family. He wondered
about all the people in the past who tried to get to him by his sisters— must have been
frustrating to like a person only to find out they were just trying to use you for the popularity.
It must hurt to realize somebody you truly liked back only returned those feelings to use you.
Taehyung didn't know why his heart clenched, but he tried his best to ignore it.

He wasn't using Jeongguk, right? There was no need to feel guilty. That would be ridiculous.

"He doesn't like talking about his time doing that," Hyejung said, joining his side by the
island with a plate of her own. "But enough of that. Him bringing you here means you matter
a lot to him."

"Well, I kinda brought him here myself," He chuckled, trying to push aside his thoughts while
drenching his pancakes with syrup.

"True, but he hasn't tried to hide you, so that's a good sign," Hyejung let out a laugh. It was
airy and light, and it sounded more like a snort.

"He trusts you enough not to hurt him." But do I trust myself enough to not hurt him?

"Thank you? But I think you're reading too much into this," Taehyung tried to joke around,
but as he forked a slice of soggy pancake into his mouth, his throat tightened. "We're just
friends."

"Oh, I know that," Hyejung rolled her eyes, but the smile on her face eased him. "He always
insists you're friends everytime I call him. I've heard the word 'pal' and 'best friend' so much it
hurts."

"Really now?" Taehyung struggled to swallow as his cheeks flooded with warmth. Hyejung
nodded.

"I'm aware that you two are friends. No need to remind me, or yourselves. But to be honest, if
you are friends, you shouldn't be constantly saying it out loud to confirm it," Hyejung pointed
out.

"Both of you should just already know, and by repeating it, it kinda gives off a vibe that you
aren't just friends," She said as Taehyung nearly choked on his pancake.

"It's just my opinion. However, I think you two are great friends though!"

"Yeah," Taehyung mumbled, reaching for his glass of water. He sipped it carefully, not
wanting to meet the oldest Jeon's eye any longer unless he wanted to explode with
embarrassment.

"Anyways," He said, clearing his throat and wanting no more but to change the goddamn
topic already. "Have you heard from Jeongguk and his mom?"

"Not at all. He doesn't really talk to us about things regarding her," Hyejung said. "All we
gotta do is wait until he comes back and support him on whatever he's feeling."

"Was Jeongguk always close with your mom?" He found himself asking, and when Hyejung
didn't answer he opened his mouth to quickly apologize but she waved it off with another
smile similar to Jeongguk's that it lowkey freaked him out.
"Ever since he was young. She used to play volleyball until she became our coach," She
hummed, nostalgia twinkling in her doe eyes. "They shared something we never did with
her."

"I heard you used to play," Taehyung continued to eat, for the pancakes were fluffy little
pillows of amazingness he couldn't turn down. All kinds of food were too good to turn down.

"I did," Hyejung nodded, "but I got injured badly in my college years. I couldn't qualify for
the Olympics, but it's enough for me to see Jeongguk's able to live his dream."

"I'm sorry about that," He murmured, eyes slighty widening at the news. "What did you do to
hurt yourself?"

"I landed wrong on a spike and dislocated my kneecap so bad I couldn't ever return to how I
was," She said, twirling her fork in the puddle of syrup on her plate. "Devastated me, but
eventually I found out my real passion was working with kids."

"You see," Hyejung started, stabbing her fork into her stack of pancakes. "I never want that to
happen to Jeongguk. He overworks like I do, and I know if he gets injured, it will end him."

"Volleyball is his life," Taehyung agreed, unable to fully imagine a world where Jeongguk
wasn't doing what he loved more than anything else.

"Exactly. I try to keep an eye on him from time to time. I already lost my dream, but luckily I
found another one," Hyejung said softly. "But if he got an injury that bad, I'm afraid he'll
never recover."

"He will get into those Olympics," He tried to lighten the subject, finding this morning to be
one of those that really seemed to kill the mood. He never liked waking up sad, but
sometimes you couldn't help it.

"Oh he will," Hyejung nodded, "I don't deny it. He's going to represent Japan, and all of us
are going to be there to watch." She said enthusiastically.

"How come he's representing Japan, and not South Korea?" Taehyung asked. At that,
Hyejung's eyebrows raised in shock, not at all expecting that question.

"Jeongguk never told you?" The other shook his head. Hyejung sighed, shaking her head.
"Our entire mom's side is completely Japanese! Except for her. Her father was Korean and
her mom was Japanese, but the Japanese kinda diluted when she met our dad."

"So you guys are technically Japanese too?" He asked, genuinely shocked Jeongguk missed
out on giving him this cool piece of information.

The oldest Jeon nodded eagerly, smiling proudly, "Yeah. Mostly Korean, but he qualified.
Plus our mom wanted to play for Japan, and he's doing it for her. But Japan's also a good
team, too."

"He's really invested into this," Taehyung smiled, remembering all the times he asked him
about practice and Jeongguk would go on and on, eyes sparkling with adoration for the sport
he would die for.

"So invested he dressed up as a whole ass volleyball for halloween."

"No way," His eyebrows shot up immediately. "You're joking, aren't you?" Hyejung shook
her head, trying hard to contain her laughter.

"Kid's in love with volleyball, and I thought he would never find something else to love the
same way," Hyejung chuckled, but in a quieter voice too soft for Taehyung she smiled and
said, "Until you."

"Unnie! Jeonggukie's home!" Hyelin came running into the kitchen, her short legs unable to
keep up with her energy. Both of them exchanged worried glances, hoping the Jeongguk
mood they run into wasn't bad.

"Where is he?" Hyejung swallowed, pulling the tiny girl onto her lap and squishing her
chubby little cheeks.

"He's sad again," Hyelin pouted, crossing her arms over her chest. "Said he wants to know
where his Taehyungie is."

Both of the Jeons snapped their attention to where he sat, and he swore his heart fell out of
his chest. There really was something in the Jeon blood that made the highly intimidating.

"Is he crying, Lin?" Hyejung asked, and the littlest Jeon shook her head. "Did he say
anything about your mom?"

"He said she was doing okay, but didn't Auntie June tell us yesterday—," The oldest clamped
a hand over the younger's mouth. At that, Taehyung raised an eyebrow, wondering what was
that for.

"Is there something wrong?" His lips fell into a small frown, the skin between his brows
furrowing. He glanced between Hyejung and the littlest Jeon giggling as she tried to pull her
sister's hand away.

"If I tell you, you can not tell Jeongguk," Hyejung eventually said, the lightness in her tone
missing from earlier. She murmured something to Lin, set her down, and the two watched the
tiny human scamper away to her sisters.

"Will it hurt him?" Taehyung swallowed.

Hyejung pressed her lips together tightly, "Yes. It would, and please know I don't want our
family to hold him back from fulfilling his dream."

"Okay," He nodded, not entirely sure what he was getting himself into. This would be the
first time he really lied to Jeongguk, but the more he thought about it, the more his gut
twisted and churned.

That wasn't true.

"We know it's not okay. The doctors are telling us she'll make a recovery, but a body can take
only so much," She murmured, her low voice snapping him away from his thoughts.

"Is she dying?" Taehyung whispered, worry evident in his tone, but the oldest simply shook
her head.

"I don't know, but what we do know for sure is that," She sucked in a shaky breath before
saying—

"She's not going to see him in the Olympics any time soon."

♡♡♡

"Jeongguk?" Taehyung stood by the door, his fist rapping the wood as he noticed him sitting
on the window sill, staring outside.

Hyejung told him to give Jeongguk some time, and him some time to process the
information. He took her advice, for he wasn't sure if he could face the younger without his
chest feeling crushed beneath the weight of all the lies he kept.

It was almost evening, and when Taehyung was busying himself with the little girls and
throwing yet another tea party, he knew he had to go see him eventually.

So here he was, and there he sat.

The younger turned his head toward him, and in the darkness of his bedroom, he could tell he
wasn't at ease by the wrinkle between his brows and the frown that weighed down his lips.
All he wanted to do was erase the wrinkles with his thumb and kiss the frown away until he
was smiling again.

Taehyung sucked in a shallow breath and pushed his thoughts aside before his feet carried
him to him.

"Are you okay?" He asked, the first words that left his lips were delicate as if one wrong
saying could make the younger fall apart again.

"Could be better," Jeongguk shrugged, leaning his head against the window. "How are you?"

"I've been entertaining little kids for the last few hours," Taehyung chuckled, pushing his blue
hair behind his ear as he joined Jeongguk on the opposite end of the window sill. "Your
sisters are cute."
"Are they cuter than me?" The younger asked. He rolled his eyes, gently hitting his knee with
his hand. For a second, he thought the younger winced, but when he blinked Jeongguk didn't
seem fazed.

"I mean, we did have a tea party," Taehyung said, feeling the warmth of the window against
his arm as he leaned against it. "Invited Mr. Beary and Kitty. I got to meet Pip the Penguin
and Cooky the bunny."

"A tea party? Did you get dressed up too, princess?" He teased, earning yet another eyeroll
from the older.

"You're the princess here," He found himself smiling at the younger. "And for your
information, I only wore a plastic tiara and a scarf. Picture it."

Taehyung's face immediatey flushed red when he realized his words could have a double
meaning. His gaze met the younger's, and by the crooked smirk on his lips, he knew
Jeongguk couldn't have possibly missed that.

"That wasn't meant to be sexual."

"You just made it sexual," Jeongguk snorted. "Mm, am I allowed to picture you naked? Like
would it be wrong if I told you I'm picturing your bare ass?"

"My god, shut up," Taehyung grumbled, nudging his foot with his own. "You can't picture me
naked."

"Yes I can. Your ass is very big, by the way."

"Oh my god SHUT UP," Taehyung covered his face, fire practicaly engulfing his cheeks.

"I also have a good visual of your dick in my memories too," Jeongguk continued, ignoring
him and the way his entire face blushed red. "10/10 dick. Very big and thick. I could suck it
—,"

"—Please stop. I don't need a review of you and your shrimp," Taehyung's nose scrunched
together. The younger lifted a brow at him.

"Did you just imply I have a small dick?" Jeongguk gasped. "That's very rude of you. Just
because you are an inch bigger doesn't mean you can be dickcist to my dick."

"Did you just say dickcist?"

"Yes. It's like racist but for dicks. You are dickcist."

"Jeongguk," Taehyung rolled his eyes, "That doesn't exist."

"Excuse you, but my dick has feelings. His feelings are completely valid," Jeongguk snorted.
"I'm also very offended as well. I think this friendship can't work between us if you don't
support other dicks."
"I hate you," He grumbled, nudging his foot again as Jeongguk struggled to keep a straight
face.

"No you don't. Once you see me naked, you'll change your mind," The younger said, crossing
his arms over his chest. "You say my dick's small, but just you wait Kim Taehyung. I'll blow
your mind."

"And I'll blow your dick too." He kicked his foot, face searing hot as Jeongguk snickered
quietly.

"Can we not discuss this right now," Taehyung tried to keep in his laughter, the lightness of
the situation completely different from what he expected.

"Am I too sexy for you, Specs? Are you hot and bothered?" Jeongguk wiggled his eyebrows
at him.

"Jeongguk, how horny are you on a scale of 1-10?" He asked, genuinely concerned about the
younger. Maybe leaving him for so long wasn't a good idea. Clearly, he was going mental.

"Right now? My dick's kinda depressed, but other times? A good seven." Jeongguk said. He
wasn't sure if he sounded proud or sad to be honest.

"I haven't had sex in three months."

"Are you saving yourself for somebody?" Taehyung teased, leaning back against the wall,
staring right at him. Jeongguk shrugged.

"Kinda? Not really though," The younger admitted, scratching the side of his neck. "That
makes me sound like a virgin, but to be honest, I don't need sex."

"Why not?" He tilted his head to the side. "Before all of this, you told me how amazing it
was."

"I know," Jeongguk chuckled lowky, "but I don't need it to feel happy anymore." Taehyung
raised an eyebrow at that.

"Why?" The younger glanced up at him, a ghost of a smile twitching on his lips.

"Because I have you. Unless you wanna have mind blowing sex, then I mean, that'll make me
happy too."

"You know there's kids on the floor beneath us that can hear, right?"

"We won't know unless we try it out," Jeongguk was holding back a laugh.

"You're lucky I like you." And that was that.

He honestly thought Jeongguk was going to be brooding or something, like one of those bad
boys in cliche movies and books, but here they were, having a stupid conversation. It was
weird, but at least it wasn't awkwardly suffocating.
Eventually, the laughter settled down and the room fell silent, but Taehyung didn't mind it.
He glanced up at Jeongguk, studying the younger's features as he continued to stare out the
window.

"How's your mom?" He asked softly, tone solemn compared to moments before.

"She's okay," Jeongguk shrugged, staring down at something below the window. "She was
awake, and I guess we talked a little bit."

"Did she scold you?" Taehyung chuckled a little, heart fluttering when Jeongguk nodded, a
tiny smile folding across his lips.

"If she could, she would. I mostly talked to her," He admitted, pulling his knees close and
resting his chin on top of it. "But she would. She'd tell me to go back on the court and enjoy
what I love instead of being miserable and sad."

"It's okay to be miserable and sad sometimes," He murmured, noticing the way the sunset
seemed to envelop Jeongguk with its golden warmth.

Usually the sun never seemed to shine during fall, but in this particular moment, it did.

The room was radiating with a hazy yellow-orange, and whenever Jeongguk glanced up, the
light caught on his thick, pretty eyelashes. Taehyung studied his features, finding himself
drawn to the way the sunset made Jeongguk's eyes mirror endless warm pools of honey— he
didn't look real.

"I'm sad and miserable all the time, Specs," Jeongguk gave him lousy finger guns. The older
rolled his eyes.

"Not when you play volleyball," Taehyung said, and at that, Jeongguk let out a snort.

"And not when I'm with you," He said in a matter of fact way. He glanced up, and for a
moment, their eyes met. Neither one said a word, not even daring to look away.

"You wanna see something Specs?" Jeongguk asked. The older nodded, and he followed after
him as he got off the sill. He proceeded to open the window all the way and climb out—

"Jeongguk!" Taehyung nearly shouted, wondering if the younger fell and hurt himself or
something. He looked out the window, panic consuming his throat until he felt a hand settle
on his cheek.

"Oh my god!" He whispered angrily, flinching back when he realized it was Jeongguk. He
glanced around, wondering how the frick he was doing this until he realized he was holding
onto the lattice.

"What the hell are you doing, idiot?"

"Showing you something," Jeongguk slipped his hand beneath his chin, running his thumb
beneath his bottom lip. "Trust me, Specs."
"What if I don't— mm," His eyes widened when the younger leaned down and kissed him.
When he pulled away, he blinked dumbly, completely at a loss for words.

"Did that convince you?" He asked, squishing his cheeks together. Taehyung swallowed, still
unable to put together a coherent thought.

He meant to say 'no' but next thing he knew, he was climbing up the side of Jeongguk's house
to the roof.

The things Jeon Jeongguk did to him were simply unexplainable— it was wack. He wasn't
sure if it was peer pressure, or the fact his kiss rendered him brain cell-less, but he would
have never agreed to do this in the first place.

When they reached the roof, Taehyung expected the place to look terrible, but much to his
own surprise, it was flat and in the center was a blanket and some potted plants. He glanced
up at Jeongguk, who was standing and offering him a hand.

And he grabbed it, letting Jeongguk pull him to his feet. He almost lost his footing, but
Jeongguk's hand was quick to grab onto his waist, never failing to steady him.

"Hey there," Jeongguk murmured when their chests were pressed together. Taehyung placed
his hand over his heart, about to say something until the younger kissed him.

Kissing Jeongguk was never boring, in fact, it was like kissing him for the first time over and
over again, minus the awkwardness. His lips molded perfecty over his, moving against his
fluidly, languidly while Jeongguk squeezed his hip.

The younger was the first to pull away, and he guided him to the blanket. They sat down
together, but Jeongguk quickly grabbed him and pulled him between his legs.

Taehyung didn't know what was going on until he felt Jeongguk's arms sling around his waist
and his chin rest on his shoulder. Jeongguk reached up and pulled his shirt lower, exposing
some of his skin and placed gentle kisses on the sensitive areas.

"What are you—," The younger shushed him.

"Look ahead," He mumbled against Taehyung's skin, his grip around his waist pulling him
closer.

It was beautiful. The sunset was visible from where they sat on the roof, and below them was
the rest of the houses crammed together in the neighborhood. Beyond were lines of wires and
telephone poles, and the sky scrapers from the city kissed the pink, orange haze.

In the distance, they could hear cars honking, and occasionally the twitter of birds that flew
by. Below them, there were some people walking about, taking advantage of the beautiful
weather.

But most importantly was the sun. It sunk behind thick clouds, radiating streaks of saturated
golds and soft oranges. The indigo sky faded into the soft pinks and purples that tinged heavy
clouds.
To be honest, Taehyung could stare at this for hours.

And what made it even better was the boy hugging him from behind.

"Do you like it?" Jeongguk said, his chin now resting on his shoulder, head leaning against
his.

"I think it's gorgeous," Taehyung murmured, voice soft, intertwining with the gentle breeze
that rippled through their hair. "Really beautiful."

"Can I be honest with you?" He knew there was something else— Jeongguk wasn't a
spontaneous person. Taehyung nodded, leaning back onto the younger's chest, exhaling
softly.

"I'm scared," Jeongguk's voice dropped to a whisper. "My dream was to play in the Olympics
with my mom watching, but when I saw her in the hospital today—."

"Jeongguk—," Taehyung tried to tell him otherwise, remembering Hyejung's words, but
Jeongguk shook his head.

"I know that'll never happen."

"You don't know that," He said, reaching down and playing with Jeongguk's fingers
absentmindedly.

"I do, and a long time ago, I would have been so devastated and mad," Jeongguk chuckled,
but the sound wasn't at all happy but detached. Taehyung gulped, heart tighting at the same
time it raced.

"But now, I think I'm accepting it? It hurts, and I hope she can come, but I would
understand," He murmured, his fingers sliding into Taehyung's, the two of them holding one
another.

"Are you okay?" Taehyung asked, leaning into him.

"I think I'm okay," Jeongguk whispered. "My mom is my everything. I'm not a mama's boy,
it's just, she was my mentor, too. She shared her dream with my sister and me."

"And you're honoring that dream," The older said, which the younger simply hummed in
reponse.

"I try. Ever since Hyejung got injured, I made sure I'd make them both happy. You see, I love
them. I love every single one of them," Jeongguk said.

"But I hate this."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm never here, Specs," Jeongguk said, and he could hear the pain evident in his words. "I
missed the first stroke. I never help. I never watch my siblings. Even when they're in Seoul
with my dad, I don't see them."

"You can't help that," Taehyung said, but the younger shook his head.

"Sometimes I wonder if I should continue this dream. If my dreams even make sense, or if
they're valid," He whispered softly. "If my effort is worth it."

"You don't know how much it hurts to be like this."

"What do you mean?" He shifted around so now he was facing him. He got comfortable,
crossing his legs together as Jeongguk's arms remained around his waist.

"Before I met you, I showed people what they wanted to see," Jeongguk told him. "My
friends are shitty. I act like this fucking bigshot around school. I fuck people when I get
frustrated and pretend I don't care when I feel bad after they leave."

"I still don't know why I do that. So I focused on volleyball, and it made me happy. I was
happy, and then suddenly I'm not," Jeongguk gulped. The older inhaled slowly, his hands
reaching up to cup his face.

"My mom's really sick. My family's struggling. I'm struggling. Hiding behind volleyball
worked until it didn't," He whispered, voice slightly breaking.

"I'm trying. I'm trying really hard but I can't pretend it doesn't hurt when it really does."

"Jeongguk," Taehyung murmured, running his thumb over his cheek. The younger smiled
weakly at him, leaning into his touch. "You're not alone."

"I know," Jeongguk whispered, "I know. Wanna hear something funny?" Taehyung raised an
eyebrow at him. He swallowed thickly.

"You make me happy, Specs. So, fucking happy."

"I'm myself around you. I don't feel suffocated, and when I'm around you, everything that
confuses me makes sense. You make sense," Jeongguk's voice wavered.

"Why do you make sense? I don't know, but you make me so fucking happy I don't hurt
anymore," He confessed. "I can't explain it."

"Jeongguk," Taehyung cleared his throat, feeling his hands tremble against his skin. "I'm
happy I met you."

At that, the younger's expression eased. Taehyung gently squeezed his cheek, a smile of his
own curving his lips upward. His heart wasn't racing, but it was calm, and Taehyung knew
that meant something. It meant everything.

"And your dreams? They're valid. They're worth every drop of effort you put into it, and don't
let anyone tell you otherwise," He whispered, his gaze focusing on Jeongguk and Jeongguk
only.
"You don't need to hurt on your own, and there's no more need to pretend. You need to realize
that you don't owe those other people anything if they treated you like that. They aren't worth
your time, and I know you know who is."

"For your family? They understand, trust me. You may seem like you're letting them down
but it's the opposite," Taehyung caressed his cheek. "They love you so much, and what you
do for them may not seem enough, but to them, it's everything."

Jeongguk nodded slowly. "Remember what you told me. You're so much more than what you
think you're worth."

"Taehyung?" Jeongguk whispered.

"Jeongguk?" Taehyung whispered back.

"I'm glad we broke all of our rules," He joked, making the two of them laugh ever so softly.

"Me too," Taehyung leaned foreward, their foreheads resting against one another's.
"Jeongguk, you are worth so much, you don't even know."

"Can I say something sappy?" He asked, gaze flitting up to meet the older's. Taehyung
nodded, unable to fight the smile that blossomed over his lips.

"I know people are temporary but please, just this once," Jeongguk inhaled slowly, his hands
finding their way to cup the older's face.

"Can you be permanent?"

Taehyung nodded once then twice, and before he could comprehend anything, Jeongguk
kissed him hard. They held onto one another, the sun setting behind them, and every other
problem they had didn't matter in that moment.

Nothing else mattered except him, and as temporary was this moment, Taehyung wanted
Jeongguk to last forever even if he was hurting him in the process.

♡♡♡

The week went by faster than Taehyung could comprehend.

Jeongguk's mother was recovering great, and the doctors expected her to get back on track in
couple months. It was going to be a very long process, but when it got hard, Taehyung
grabbed the younger's hand and squeezed it, letting him know he was there.

The younger made sure to spend his time with his mom, and he wasn't they were together.

For the rest of the short break before they had to return, they spent time with Jeongguk's
family.

They played volleyball in the grass backyard, and he found it adorable how Jeongguk was
teaching his sister the correct ways to pass. He even taught him, always adjusting his form
whenever he could.

There were also a lot of tea parties. The Jeon sisters wanted to have many of them because
they knew it would be difficult to see their brother after this. All of them were entertaining,
besides the fact Hyelin kept asking them to kiss.

She had a weird obsession wanting to see them kiss, and eventually they gave in.

Hyelin squealed so loud and rolled around on the ground for minutes. It concerned Taehyung
and Jeongguk, so they kept it in mind to never do that again.

Every now and then, Jeongguk and Taehyung took them to the park, and they all played on
the swings. The duo tried to spend as much time with them as possible, going out on walks,
buying ice cream, and even building forts in the living room.

When they weren't with kids, Taehyung got to know Hyejung and Aunt June better. He even
met June's german husband, but they didn't talk.

June and Hyejung spent their day embarassing poor Jeongguk with stories not meant for
Taehyung to hear but it didn't stop them. Jeongguk called them out for bullying, but they
ignored him.

At night, it was just the two of them when the girls passed out from exhaustion. They both
went to Jeongguk's bed and made out lazily, never going any farther than a heated kiss.

Occasionally would their hands slip up shirts but that was it. Sometimes they would leave a
hickey, but only in places where the other could see.

It was the best break of Taehyung's life.

All of it felt like some dream, and he didn't want it to end. But unfortunately, the fun did
come to an end, and they had to go drive back to finish another two weeks before the end of
winter break.

Taehyung and Jeongguk didn't talk about their deal coming to an end— that was a
conversation for later.

"Noo Taehyungie can't go!" Hyelin was sobbing hysterically, grabbing onto his leg as
Jeongguk stood by the door, hugging his aunt goodbye.
"I have to get going, but I promise I'll be back with Jeonggukie," He said, carefully prying
her off. He crouched down to her level and gave her tiny body a gentle hug.

"When you come back, will you be Jeonggukie's boyfriend?" Hyein asked, tugging his
sleeve. He gave the girl a bright smile and patted her head.

"I can't make that a promise," He said, and from the corner of his eye he noticed Jeongguk
was staring at him with this fondness that made his heart flutter.

"Please! I don't want Jeonggukie to date anyone but you!" Hyelin grumbled.

"I agree," Jeonkyung interrupted. "Those girls he brings home are gross."

Hyelin pulled Taehyung close so she could whisper in his ear, "I like you better than Chimie."
Taehyung raised an eyebrow at her, thanking her quietly, although a bit confused.

"Jeon Jeonkyung, manners!" June scolded her, and she apologized quietly. At that, Taehyung
and Jeongguk snickered with the other girls.

"Where's Hyejung?" Jeongguk asked, adjusting his backpack strap while he gave his
youngest sister one more hug. June shrugged.

"She was here," June said, crossing her arms over her chest. "Might be running a bit late, but
you're not listening to me Jeongguk. Both of you drive equal distances. Please, take care."

"I know," Jeongguk whined as his aunt tugged his ear teasingly. "I promise, I'll take care of
Taehyung."

"Good, because if you don't, I'll disown you. I actually like him," June mumbled, earning an
eyeroll from her nephew.

Just as Taehyung and Jeongguk finished their final goodbyes, Hyejung came running down
the stairs. All of them stopped to see the oldest Jeon sibling bolting straight for Taehyung.

"You!" Hyejung reached him, grabbing the sides of his arms. Taehyung raised an eyebrow at
her, not at all expecting that, and he sure hoped she wasn't going to kill him or something.

"We need to talk."

"Hyejung, we gotta get going if we want to beat traffic," Jeongguk said, but the oldest gave
him a dirty look and he shut up.

"I need to ask you a favor," Hyejung whispered, ignoring how everyone else was staring at
them. He nodded slowly, wondering what she could possibly want from him.

Hyejung dragged him away, telling everyone to wait for them outside. Taehyung crossed his
arms, waiting for Hyejung after she finally got everyone to exit.

"Okay, this might be big, but," Hyejung clasped her hands together in front of her. "Can you
take my brother for winter break?"
"What?" Taehyung did not expect that. "You want me to take Jeongguk to Daegu?"

"Yes! Please," She clapped, but before Taehyung could question her, she cut him off. "Our
mom is going to recover, and as much as we want you here, I don't want Jeongguk here."

"Ouch," Taehyung chuckled a little bit until she realized she was serious. His smile fell. "Oh,
you're serious. W-well, um, I don't think my dads will mind."

"Great! I really want Jeongguk for Christmas, but I don't want him to stress, and he seems so
much happier with you," At that, Taehyung's cheeks flushed with that familiar red-colored
warmth.

"Well, that's it," One thing he noticed about Hyejung was the fact that she was difficult to
keep up with. She was literally a whirlwind of energy.

"I'm rooting for you guys, and the next time we see one another, you better be dating,"
Hyejung laughed and when Taehyung said nothing, she patted his shoulder.

"No pressure, of course. I'm just gonna miss you."

"Yeah, no pressure," Taehyung chuckled. "I'll miss you too." She winked at him, and soon the
two joined the rest of the family outside. Jeongguk was giving his sisters final hugs.

All of them said their goodbyes as much as Taehyung didn't want to leave. They were lovely
people, and he was happy Jeongguk had such a supportive family that reminded him a lot of
his own dads.

The littlest Jeon cried— a lot. Jeonkyung was older, and Hyein had some tears, but they
assured them that they will see one another again. Taehyung thanked June and Hyejung one
more time before joining Jeongguk in the car.

"I'm really going to miss them," He said as Jeongguk pulled out of the driveway. He insisted
on driving this time, and Taehyung didn't want to fight him.

"Me too. Even though they're on crack, I love them to pieces," Jeongguk chuckled, keeping
one hand on the steering wheel and his other immediately finding Taehyung's.

"Makes me want some siblings," Taehyung joked, kissing Jeongguk's knuckles as the
younger gave him a quick dirty look.

"No you don't," Jeongguk snorted, squeezing his hand before pressing a kiss of his own on
his inner wrist in return. "They're demons."

"But I had fun with those cute little tiny humans," Taehyung said, leaning back into his seat.
"I think we should do this again."

"I wouldn't mind that," The younger hummed.

"Really?" He gasped. Jeongguk nodded.

"Well then," Taehyung giggled, excitedly squeezing the younger's hand.

"How about you come over and meet my dads?"

 country boys & flower fields

♡♡♡

Finals were over faster than Taehyung comprehend, and before he could properly blink
Jeongguk and he were driving to Daegu to spend the holiday together.

He didn't expect the younger to agree, for he thought he would go home. It wasn't like he was
against the idea of him going home, but he didn't quite expect Jeongguk to agree so easily to
meet his parents.

Plus he wasn't smuggling Jeongguk to the country side for the entire break. He was going to
stay for a week, meet his parents, spend time with him, and then he would take a train to
Busan to spend the rest of the break with his own family.

It felt odd, really. Taehyung never brought anyone home before. His dads were aware of the
few friends he had, and how the constant bullying made him reluctant to bring anyone to his
house. Taehyung's home in the country was like his sanctuary.

There, secluded in fields of strawberry plants and endless rolling hills of plush green grass
and foliage that shimmered beneath the sun, was his house. A place where he could be alone
without any worry or fear of being judged.

It was his home— his safe haven. And bringing Jeongguk into this safe place he called home
felt weird, but nonetheless felt right.

He couldn't imagine bringing anyone other than Jeongguk to meet his dads.

"What are your dads like?" Jeongguk asked, one hand clutching the wheel and the other
captured by Taehyung's own. He insisted on driving this time around, mostly because they
had to bring Yeontan, and Taehyung drove last time.

"They're gay. Very, very gay," Taehyung said in a matter of fact way. At that, Jeongguk
snorted.

"And so are we," He reminded him. "Everyone in that household supports dick. Is that
scary?"

"No?" The older mumbled, hugging Yeontan close while Jeongguk chuckled softly,
squeezing his hand. "I'm just a bit worried. They're not overprotective, it's just..."

"I hope they don't scare you."

"Scare me? Specs, that won't happen," Jeongguk said. "They must be wonderful people to
have raised you." He chuckled, bringing his hand close to his mouth.

"You're a sap," Taehyung jutted his bottom lip out, pouting. Jeongguk rolled his eyes and
kissed his knuckles. "A stupid little sap."

"I'll take that as a compliment, bun," The younger teased. Taehyung sunk in his seat, glancing
out the window to avoid showing Jeongguk the way his entire face flushed pink.

"Don't call me bun, princess," Taehyung grumbled, heart doing little tiny flips when
Jeongguk kissed his fingers again.

"That's not gonna work on me this time around," Jeongguk said cooly. "You had your fun,
and now it's my turn."

"Are you suggesting I act like a bottom?"

"Precisely," The younger nodded. Taehyung let go of his hand to smack his shoulder, brows
furrowed as Jeongguk was snickering to himself.

He should have been offended, but it was nice to see Jeongguk was happier lately. Ever since
they got back to campus, his smile grew, and he seemed to be enjoying himself with his new
friends. His laughter was currently one of Taehyung's favorite sounds.

God, Jeongguk was so much different than anybody he had ever encountered in his life time.

At least that was something he could admit.

"You can't just tell me that," Taehyung said, sitting up in his seat— he wasn't letting this go
easily. "It's not like you can decide on when I act like a top or bottom."

"I won't be deciding," Jeongguk snorted. "I was gonna suggest we toss a coin and figure it
out. Heads I'm gonna top, and tails you're gonna be a top."

"Tails is on the bottom of the coin, idiot. Are you implying something?" The older nudged his
side, trying to sound offended but it was impossible with smile on his lips.

"Nope. This suggestion is powered my sex deprived self," He said. "All of this are just
hypotheticals."

"Hypotheticals?" Taehyung raised an eyebrow. The younger nodded like this was a serious
conversation.

"Very hypothetical," Jeongguk said, and before the older could say something and call out his
immense stupidity, he stared ahead and noticed the country home emerging from the distance.

"Damn, you really are a country boy," The younger chuckled. "Do you wear cowboy hats?"

"Can I have the pleasure of hearing you say 'yeehaw' during sex?"
"Jeongguk, shut up," Taehyung rolled his eyes. He glanced down at Yeontan in his lap, smile
widening seeing the little dog's tail wagging crazily as they approached his home.

His childhood home was still beautiful up to this. It was aging after years, but things
remained the same. The baby blue painted wood was chipped, and the green vines and leaves
that grew down the walls rustled in the gentle wind. The porch was a fading white, and by the
little stairs was his dads' winter garden.

Nostalgia rushed through his lungs as he held his dog close to his chest and opened the
window. All the trees were bare, and some parts of the land was coated with a thin sheen of
frost, but it was still home.

He let the wind whip through his fading blue hair, lips gently curling upward and letting it
leave cool kisses across his cheeks. Taehyung gasped, seeing his treehouse was still in tact in
the big tree out in the front, and so was his tire swing.

"Thought you lived on a strawberry farm," Jeongguk let go of his hand to control the wheel
as they passed the gates.

"It's a fifteen minute bike ride to my grandparents' farm," Taehyung whispered, running his
fingers through Yeontan's coat. "We live on their plot."

"It's pretty," The younger murmured, slowing down as they approached the gravel driveway
Taehyung remembered playing on while his dad gardened.

When they got closer, he noticed his dads were sitting on the porch, and as they both got out
of the car, they came walking down to meet join the two of them. Taehyung held Yeontan
close, following the younger to get their things from the trunk.

He waved awkwardly at them, unsure of what to say as Jeongguk did most of the heavy
lifting. He didn't know how he should introduce Jeongguk, but he knew he had to.

"Did you get any updates from your family?" He asked, helping Jeongguk with one of their
bags.

"Hyejung refuses to tell me. She told me to just enjoy my vacation," Jeongguk shrugged. "I'm
gonna see them next week anyways. This week is just for us."

"Are you sure you're okay with that?" Taehyung asked, unable to keep himself from lowkey
freaking out that this might go wrong.

Jeongguk nodded, a crooked grin fixed on his lips, "I wouldn't have agreed if I wasn't into the
idea of spending one week together, right?"

The older's nose scrunched together as Jeongguk leaned over and cupped the side of his face
with his palm. "Trust me when I say I want this. I want you."

"Okay," Taehyung swallowed, giving him a small frown but for some reason he still couldn't
get the idea out of his head that this could potentially go wrong.
"Great," Jeongguk said, kissing his forehead again. "I wanna enjoy every second we have
together." And that was the last of their conversation when his dads stopped in front of them.

"Tae!" There, standing, were both of his dads. He glanced back and forth between Jeongguk
and them, hoping the younger wasn't intimidated at all, but somehow Jeongguk seemed to be
calmer than him.

"Oh my gosh, we missed you so much baby!" Siwon, rushed toward him and threw his arms
around his son. He pecked Taehyung's cheek and squished it much to his own dislike.

"Hey kiddo," Warren nodded at him, prying off his other dad with an apologetic smile. "Is
that another dog, Taehyung?" He asked, confused.

"Yeah. We got him for the dorm," Taehyung didn't know why he was so flustered as Siwon
took the dog from him.

"What did I say about getting more pets?" Siwon clicked his tongue, but he didn't seem to be
mad as he ran his fingers through Yeontan's coat with the biggest heart eyes Taehyung had
ever seen.

"Um, dads," Taehyung cleared his throats, realizing how chaotic this all might be, and
Jeongguk was just standing there, taking it all in.

God, hopefully he wasn't scaring Jeongguk away.

Both of his parents averted their attention back to them. Taehyung chuckled uneasily and
grabbed the younger by the wrist, pulling him closer to him.

"This is Jeongguk, my friend," Taehyung gulped, his other hand scratching the side of his
neck as both of his dads seemed to be studying them closely.

"Am I your friend?" Jeongguk whispered quietly, his words only meant for his ears.
Taehyung stiffened, licking his lips as he felt Jeongguk pat his shoulder.

"Introduce me well," He teased before returning his attention back to his dads.

"Friends? Oh? Well, I'm Kim Siwon, and this is my husband, Warren Kim. We're friends
too!" Taehyung gave Siwon a death glare, his face practically on fire as Jeongguk chuckled
softly beside him.

"What? I'm trying to be cool, Tae," Siwon snorted, nudging his son with an all-knowing
smile.

"Isn't friend short for boyfriend or lover or something?"

"Dad, no," Taehyung whispered, wanting nothing more but to get out of this awkward
situation. He wondered if Jeongguk was okay, but he couldn't bring himself to look at him.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Jeongguk," Siwon ignored his son and turned to shake his hand.
The younger did so, smiling gently at both of his dads it was impossible to not appreciate his
charm.

"Are you boys hungry? Its already past noon," The two of them followed Taehyung's dads
into the house, but Taehyung made sure to stay a little bit behind them.

Jeongguk leaned in close and whispered, "Does your other dad hate me?" Taehyung raised an
eyebrow at him.

"What makes you think that?" He asked, thanking Warren when he took their bags to take up
to his room upstairs. Jeongguk shrugged, letting Taehyung guide him further into the country
home.

"He hasn't said a word to me. Did I offend him? I know how agitating it is when people stare
at you. Was I staring?" Jeongguk mumbled, and he could hear the slight panic in his words.

Taehyung sighed, grabbing Jeongguk's hand in his own, squeezing it tight. "Warren doesn't
hate you. He's just a bit shy because he's worried his Korean isn't good enough."

"Oh," Jeongguk pursed his lips together. "Well, I bet it's way better than my Japanese. Are
you sure he doesn't hate me? Because I really wanna—,"

"—Jeongguk," Taehyung cupped the side of his cheek, pushing him back against the wall to
get out of Siwon's view. He stared right at him, thumb brushing over his cheek. "They'll love
you."

"Are you just saying that because I'm freaking out?"

"No," He shook his head, patting his cheek with a small smile. "I'm not lying to you."

"Really, 'cuz I don't believe you, Specs," Jeongguk's nose scrunched together, and before he
could say anything more, Taehyung pecked his lips quickly. He giggled, watching as the
younger's shoulders eased.

"Believe me now?" Taehyung asked, pushing his dark hair behind his hair. Jeongguk rolled
his eyes.

"You suck," But he took his hand anyway and the two walked into the kitchen to see Siwon
heating up some food for them.

"Oh! You two, come here. I made some japchae," His dad was so enthusiastic it hurt, but
nonetheless, he still loved him to pieces. Taehyung squeezed his hand, and the two of them
joined him by the table.

"I'd love to sit around and get to know you more Jeongguk, but I think Taehyung's going to
overheat if I stay," Siwon patted Jeongguk's shoulder and gave his own son a wink.
"Taehyung can show you the entire property, but be back for dinner."

"Alright. Thank you, again, Mr. Kim," Jeongguk said. Beneath the table, he grabbed
Taheyung's hand, letting him know he was right there beside him.
"Oh, please, call me Siwon, kiddo," He chuckled sweetly. "There's too many Kims here, and
we'll get confused." Taehyung wanted to set himself on fire.

"Of course," And with that, Siwon left, mentioning something about tending to his winter
flowers, leaving Jeongguk and Taehyung along.

Just as Taehyung was about to pick up his chopsticks and start eating away his pain,
Jeongguk chuckled, "Your family is cool. Must be nice to have two dads."

"It's okay," Taehyung mumbled. "I love them, but sometimes they can be a bit
overwhelming."

Especially around boys. They know I'm hella gay, and they want me to find a boyfriend, and
they're probably going to bother you more because I can tell they like you. That, he chose not
to say outloud.

"Well, I think they're really lovely," Jeongguk mused, letting go of his hand to pinch his
cheek. "M'guessing you're gonna be my tour guide later?"

"Yeah. There's a creek, but it might be too cold to swim unless you wanna walk in it. Beside
it there's this cool field of flowers that grow only in winter, and we can ride our bikes
around," Taehyung hummed, scooping up a mouthful of glassy noodles.

"There's no rush to do anything."

"Sounds good," The younger said. "Will you ever say 'yeehaw' though?"

"Just eat your food," He rolled his eyes, trying to seem unbothered, but deep down, he was
too excited he could barely contain himself.

♡♡♡

They had the entire week to do whatever they wanted, so Taehyung broke it up accordingly.

Yesterday, when they arrived, he simply showed Jeongguk around the house and their portion
of the land. It was too late to go anywhere, and Jeongguk understood that Taehyung probably
didn't want to worry his dads.

So after they explored the grounds and had dinner with his parents later that evening, they
crashed in Taehyung's bedroom. Jeongguk was forced to sleep on the other half of the bed
with a pillow between them, though he didn't mind.
Taehyung said his dads were fine with them sharing a bed, but he could tell Taehyung was
still a bit antsy coming home after so long.

The next morning, Siwon and Warren apparently went out to town to go grocery shopping,
leaving Taehyung alone with Jeongguk. But of course, they didn't stay home when adventure
was an option.

Jeongguk simply loved adventures, and Taehyung happened to be one he was willing to
participate in.

"I feel like when we ride bikes together, you purposely pedal fast to torture me," Jeongguk
commented as the two of them were taking a trail to the creek Taehyung wanted to show him.

"I don't see why this is hard for you. You play volleyball and use your legs," Taehyung
snorted, though he seemed to pity him and went slower so they biked side by side.

"Well duh. Do you like hurting me? Are you a sadist, Specs?" Jeongguk wiggled his
eyebrows at him, earning a groan from the older.

"Can you not turn everything sexual? It's Christmas time. You should be pure," The older
said, trying to sound mad but Jeongguk thought it was cute.

He found it adorable how his cheeks were tinged red from the cool air, and how his blue hair
was a floppy mess over his forehead. Taehyung wore a thick red scarf around his neck, and it
covered the lower half of his mouth, which he thought it was a shame since Specs had really
pretty lips.

Really pretty lips he didn't get the chance to kiss yet today. Darn.

"Ah yes, Christmas time. I didn't forget. I saw your tree in the living room this morning,"
Jeongguk said. "I personally enjoy Christmas."

"I guess I do too, but birthday's on the 30th, so my parents give me double the gifts on
Christmas," The older chuckled, the deep sound seeming to blend with the birds chirping
above.

"That sucks. Imagine being born in December," Jeongguk snorted, winking when Taehyung
gave him a death glare.

"Do you want me to show the creek, or not?"

"I do," The younger said, "that's why I'm here."

"Then shut up," Taehyung muttered, leading Jeongguk to this uneven hill that he could
already tell would be hell pedaling up.

"I won't shut up unless you kiss me," Jeongguk teased, winking at the older when he glanced
over his shoulder, clearly not impressed.

"Would asking you to suck my dick be too much to ask?"

"I will drown you," Taehyung grumbled, and beneath the sunshine that filtered between the
canopy of bare branches above them, he could see his cheeks were flushing a deeper red; too
deep of a red for the cold to achieve.

Jeongguk smiled to himself, chest flooding with the familiar flutter of butterflies.

When they arrived at the creek, Taehyung showed him a spot to leave their bikes safely, and
with their hands intertwined, he helped him down the side of the hill to get to the creek.

"It's slippery," Taehyung commented, but of course, he was the one who slipped, and
Jeongguk was there to hold his waist to keep him from hurting himself.

"Awh look at you." He teased, blowing a gust of hot air against Taehyung's ear. The older
tried to swat his face away, and he easily dodged him.

"Are you falling for me, Specs?"

"Shut up," Taehyung said, not meeting his eye. The younger snorted, squeezing his hip as
they stopped by the side of the creek.

In the spring, it might have looked better than it did right now. The stream was barely
existent, and most of the trees that surrounded them were bare. The grass was still green, and
some flowers grew in the thicket; it wasn't ugly, but it wasn't grand.

"If we came here during summer, it would be better," Taehyung pouted, turning around to
face Jeongguk. The younger inhaled slowly, freeing his hand from his to reach up and cup his
cheek.

"I think it's perfect," Jeongguk said, which wasn't a lie. It might not be breathtaking, but if he
were to be honest, anywhere with Taehyung felt special.

"Are you lying to me?" The older poked his chest despite the fact he was leaning into
Jeongguk's cool touch. "We could go somewhere else?"

"Tae, it's pretty. Like you," He teased, patting his cheek when the older rolled his eyes at him.
"Was that cringey, Specs? I could take it back."

"Well, I'm debating whether you're flirting just for fun, or because you want to end your
intense sex deprivation," Taehyung's eyes narrowed, teeth clamping down onto his bottom
lip, fighting a smile.

"Do you really want me to answer that?" Jeongguk asked, squishing his cheeks, finding it
absolutely adorable the way Taehyung's face looks all smooshed.

"Of course," He whined, swatting the younger's hand away from him. "And be honest."

"I'm flirting because I want to," The younger's tone softened, his heart doing all kinds of
twists and flips at the way Taehyung's bunched eyebrows eased as he seemed to register his
words.
"Are you going to show me the flower field, or not?"

"Fine," Taehyung mumbled, and he tugged him along, ignoring the smirk that settled on
Jeongguk's lips as they crossed the poor excuse of a creek.

The flower field wasn't that far of a walk, and he noticed the creek seemed to loop around the
bend. The small patch of vibrant purples and soft yellows that seemed to grow during winter
was in a small clearing where the brances above them were bare enough to let sunlight filter
in naturally.

"During spring, the entire place is a rainbow of different flowers," Taehyung sounded a little
disappointed when they stopped in the center of the clearing. He glanced at Jeongguk,
slightly frowning.

"It's still very pretty, Specs. I like it," Jeongguk said, sitting down on the ground after making
sure it wasn't all wet. "We can't help the season."

"B-But I wanted to show you the flowers, and I wanted to show you how to make flower
crowns," The older mumbled, sitting close enough to Jeongguk that their shoulders pressed
against one another.

"We can't do that now, and it's stupid!"

"One day we can come back in the summer," He chuckled, playing with a patch of overgrown
grass beside him. "Then you can make me a crown."

"I guess? It just looks miserable right now," Taehyung snorted, leaning his head on
Jeongguk's shoulder.

"Kinda looks like me," Jeongguk joked, resting his arm around Taehyung's shoulder, his hand
reaching up to gentle massage the side of his hair, playing with the soft tendrils of baby blue.

"Shut up," The older sighed. "I thought it would look a bit better, but I guess not. At least
there's sun."

"Right? C'mon, Specs. Think more positively," He hummed, tucking Taehyung's hair behind
his ear.

"I am trying to be positive."

"You're making me more depressed," Jeongguk leaned back, propping himself up with his
forearm. His hand brushed down the side of Taehyung's arm, staring up at him ever so fondly
as the sun made his tanned skin all shiny and pretty.

"Well I'm sorry. I just want us to have fun together," Taehyung sighed, twisting around so he
could face him better. Jeongguk shrugged, or well, tried to.

"M'having fun just staring at you, bun," Jeongguk murmured, pulling his hand back and
slipping his fingers beneath Taehyung's chin. He teasingly pulled him closer, trying to sit up
more to meet him half way.
"Y'know what we could do?" The younger said, voice gentle as he ran his thumb over the
curve of his bottom lip.

"I'm guessing it's inappropriate knowing you," Taehyung muttered. Jeongguk snorted.

"Maybe," Jeongguk's gaze flitted between the older's lips, and the way Taehyung stared at
him like he was crazy.

"M'not gonna fuck you in a flower field if that's what you're wondering."

"W-what?" Taehyung sputtered, "n-no! I wasn't thinking about that at all! Y-you're weird.
Don't say that." Jeongguk chuckled to himself, listening to him ramble on and on about
nonsense that didn't matter.

Because in that moment, the only thing that mattered was the fact he wanted to kiss him.

Funny, how he never thought he would crave a kiss from Specs until now.

"Are you gonna kiss me?" Taehyung asked. Jeongguk nodded. "To shut me up?" Another nod
as he pushed his scarf away.

So he did, and he kissed him. They were so used to it, it was basically second nature. The
kiss they shared was innocent, sweet, and slow, neither one of them rushing a thing while
they let the warmth of the sun envelop them whole.

Jeongguk could spend forever kissing Taehyung— it probably wasn't healthy at all. It was
just the way his lips were incredibly soft, and the way he smiled against his mouth when
Jeongguk broke away to peck his lips multiple times with chaste kisses made him melt.

Kissing him felt like emerging himself into their own little word where nothing else seemed
to matter and time slowed down just for them.

"Jeongguk?" Taehyung mumbled. The younger merely hummed, his hand now cupping the
side of his face as he left kisses down the side of his jaw.

"Can I suck you off?"

Jeongguk froze— okay he was not expecting that. He dropped his hand, eyes widened in
their sockets as he tried not to let his jaw drop while Taehyung refused to return his gaze.

"You're gonna suck me off?" Taehyung nodded, face pink and nose scrunched it was
impossible not to find him adorable. "In a flower field?"

"Do you even know how to suck a dick?" Jeongguk raised an eyebrow at him. Taehyung
looked up, nodding slowly.

"I can do it," The older said, placing his hand on his chest as Jeongguk stared up at him, still
skeptical though the sex-deprived part of him was screaming 'fuck yes finally' throughout his
mind.
"Are you sure?" He asked, "I don't want you to feel like you have to. I'm telling you, I can go
without any sex for a while—,"

"—Jeongguk, I want to. I really do," Taehyung murmured, taking off his scarf and draping it
around his shoulders.

"But didn't you say my dick was ugly?"

"Don't bring that up," The older rolled his eyes. "Do you want me to suck your ugly dick, or
not?"

"If you insist," Jeongguk swallowed, "then fine. Do it. Please don't break my dick."

"I hate you," Taehyung scoffed, but of course, he wasn't mad as he kissed Jeongguk briefly
and moved in between his legs. Oh my god this was actually, really happening?

Taehyung crouched down, staring at his dick, and to be honest, Jeongguk wasn't sure if he
was fully hard. He watched, trying to stay serious as Taehyung undid his jean zipper, the
sound painfully echoing throughout the empty field.

"You can back out right now," Jeongguk shivered beneath his touch, feeling his thin fingers
graze his flaccid member beneath his underwear.

"Shut up," Taehyung murmured, "I'm focused."

"Don't miss my dick with your mouth, now."

"Jeongguk, you're not helping," He grumbled. Of course, the younger wasn't trying to make
things hard but this was monumental. Specs was going to suck his dick, and he couldn't
comprehend it!

"Well m'sorry I'm scared you're gonna bite my dick off, and I'm gonna be dickless!"
Jeongguk scowled.

"I'm not gonna bite your dick off."

"I know but hypothetically— oh your hands are cold," He inhaled sharply, completey not
expecting that at all.

He gulped, jaw clenching slightly as Taehyung's fingers curled around his cock, gently
pulling it out from beneath the constraints of his boxers.

"Tae," Jeongguk exhaled unevenly, swallowing harder when the older's fingers ran up and
down his length. Fuck, he could himself hardening in his grip, and he didn't even do
anything.

"I told you I can do this," Taehyung pushed his hair behind his ear. "By the way, your dick's
still ugly."
"Did you forget you— ah fuck, stop catching me off guard," Jeongguk hissed, feeling the
older run his thumb over the slit of his cock, the sensation making his hips twitch.

"Do you trust me?"

"Wh-what? Taehyung," He half choked out, half moaned when the older squeezed his fist
around him. "O-of course I trust you."

"Then shut up," Taehyung said sharply. He did.

Jeongguk bit down on his lip, watching the older lower himself, his hand languidly stroking
his now throbbing dick trapped beneath his firm grip. He swallowed, gaze meeting
Taehyung's for a split second before the older sunk down on him.

A moan broke past his lips, low, and rumbling in the hollow of his throat as he nearly threw
his head back, the warmth of Taehyung's mouth hot on his sensitive cock. He pressed his lips
together, brows knitting as the older hollowed his cheeks.

He grasped at the grass, watching as the older bobbed his head slowly, taking his time as
Jeongguk practically melted beneath him. He gasped, exhaling through his nose as Taehyung
pressed his tongue against his shaft.

His hipd bucked upward on accident, catching Taehyung off guard as he gagged slightly on
his cock. Jeongguk gulped, ready to apologize, but the bliss clouded his senses and made his
lower stomach knot itself tight—

He couldn't put together a single coherent thought.

The older's hand flicked upward, emitting another high moan from the younger. Taehyung
glanced up, mouth straining against his cock, their eyes meeting as Jeongguk bit down hard
on his lip, so hard he could taste his own blood.

Jeongguk closed his eyes, throwing his head back and letting out a breathy moan, swearing
loudly while Taehyung bobbed his head faster, jerking him off at the same time— it was
overwhelming.

"Shit, bun. You're amazing," He breathed out, reaching over and pushing Taehyung's hair
behind his ear. "So amazing for me."

Fuck, he couldn't think, couldn't picture anything else but Taehyung's hot mouth around his
dick. He had to refrain from thinking about pining him down and fucking him right there—
making him moan and sob out his name, but he wasn't like that.

He knew so much better than to do that. Helplessly, he bucked his hips upwards, desperate to
chase his high. Taehyung pulled off of him slowly before sinking back down, unraveling him
with every burning touch.

"Fuck, Taehyung. M-m'close," Jeongguk sputtered, hips thrusting up, but the older simply
wasn't having it. He grabbed the side of his hip and pushed him down, pining him to the
ground.
Taehyung didn't seem to be listening, but he couldn't quite tell what was going on his mind.
Taehyung popped his mouth off of him, eyeing him carefully as his tongue pressed on the slit
of his cock, making the younger's back arch at the sensation.

"F-fuck Tae," He moaned out, feeling his stomach tighten to the point he just couldn't bear it
anymore. He watched, through heavy eyelids, as Taehyung finished him off.

He came, a pitchy moan drawn from his throat as Taehyung languidly pumped his length,
swallowing every ounce of his release while his hips spasmed.

Jeongguk inhaled sharply, brows drawn together and eyes nearly rolling to the back of his
head as he came down from his orgasm, heart racing and mind screaming Taehyung's name.

Taehyung. Taehyung. Taehyung. That was all he could possibly think about.

When it was over, the only sound being their synchronized heavy breathing, the chirp of
distant birds, and the gentle rush of stream water trickling over the smooth rocks they dodged
on the walk here, Taehyung wiped his lips.

"Did I just swallow your cum?"

"Y-yeah? Is that a question?" Jeongguk's expression fell when he realized Taehyung was
being serious.

"God, Tae. No you didn't, you just swallowed my children sauce."

"Oh my god, shut up," Taehyung scowled, smacking his lips. "Weird. My mouth tastes like
your dick now. Did you know your cum tastes sweet?"

"I wonder why," The younger snorted, "Thought it was gonna taste weird, but that's nice to
know," He tucked his soft dick back into his jeans. Jeongguk sat up, leaning down so their
faces were parallel.

"Did I do good?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at him as Jeongguk cupped the side of his
neck with his palm, pulling him close.

"Best blowjob I've had in three months," He bumped his nose against his, grinning wild.
"Ever told you how much I appreciate your mouth?"

"Shut up," Taehyung giggled, letting Jeongguk connect their lips for a brief moment. When
he pulled away, he pouted, "You just kissed me."

"Can I not?" Jeongguk raised an eyebrow at him, amused. Taehyung shook his head.

"That's not what I meant, but okay," He said, looping his arms around Jeongguk's neck.
"What are you doing?" He asked, biting his lips as Jeongguk's hand gripped his upper thigh.

"It's your turn," He mumbled, pressing a kiss to his jaw as he slowly lowered Taehyung back
down on the grass.
"Oh really now?" Taehyung chuckled, leaning his forehead against his. He gasped, staring
directly at Jeongguk as the younger slipped his hands beneath his pants, squeezing his hard-
on with a teasing smirk.

"Would you let me?" He asked, and Taehyung nodded, mumbling a quiet 'please'. He
chuckled softly, going to kiss him again and again, enjoying the rest of their afternoon with
one thing in mind: it was perfect.

It was so perfect. Taehyung was perfect. And it didn't take much for him to realize that
Taehyung was so much more than just a friend.
 stars & everything in between

♡♡♡

Christmas time was probably Taehyung's favorite time of the year. It was the only time he got
to be with all the people that meant a lot to him.

The celebration consisted of his fathers and his grandparents, but this year happened to be the
time his grandparents went to his aunt's house for the holidays to spend it with her family.
Taehyung didn't mind, for he still had his dads, and Jeongguk was joining them.

Honestly, Jeongguk being with them made it just as special.

Siwon and Warren were wearing matching ugly sweaters; it was practically tradition for
them. Every Christmas eve, they wore comfy sweaters, fluffy socks, started the fireplace, and
baked holiday goods while they drank hot chocolate.

Taehyung was in the kitchen, rolling the cookie dough his dad made into balls on the sheet.
Siwon told him he had to run out and help Warren set up the lights outside, leaving him alone
to do most of it.

Jeongguk mentioned something about taking a shower, and the younger made a joke about
having sex with him in there, which Taehyung denied right away— that wasn't going to
happen.

Christmas was supposed to be innocent, not a horny holiday.

"Am I hot enough for you, Specs?" Jeongguk entered the kitchen and caught Taehyung off
guard with a quick kiss, one that left his cool cheeks on fire.

He did this more often— the surprise kisses. It always got his heart jumping partly out of fear
and adoration for the younger since he seemed genuinely entertained by the idea of scaring
him with kisses.

"You gotta try harder," Taehyung chuckled, eyeing the younger up and down. He wore an
oversized mahogany sweater and khaki pants, but what made his eyebrows raise was the
fluffy reindeer socks he wore.

"Aren't they sexy?" Jeongguk gushed, wiggling his toes beneath the fluffy material.

"The reindeer socks are interesting," Taehyung said, feeling Jeongguk's arm wrap around his
waist, pulling him close. "I don't think they're hot."
"Ouch Specs," The younger chuckled, his nose brushing against the edge of his jaw. "My
reindeer socks are deeply offended. I think you owe them an apology."

"No I don't," He snorted. "They're toes. They have no emotions."

"C'mon don't be rude. Unless," Jeongguk hummed, "You just prefer my bare toes?"

"Bare toes?" He frowned a little, taking another chunk of dough and rolling it into a smooth
ball. "Is that even a question?"

"What? That you have a toe fetish?"

"Wh— no. I do not have a toe fetish," Taehyung's nose scrunched together, truly disgusted as
the younger chuckled into his ear, arms encircled around his waist and pulling him to his
body.

"I was joking," Jeongguk kissed his cheek. He wondered if it was the holiday spirit that made
the younger extra affectionate, or the fact he was making cookies and the idiot was trying to
bribe him.

Maybe a mixture of both. After all, in the almost four months of knowing Jeon Jeongguk, he
was like a big kid trapped in an awfully handsome and muscular (not that he was
complaining) athlete's body.

"What do you want?" Taehyung sighed, shaking his head, though his lips were curled into a
gentle smile as Jeongguk pulled away from him.

"Nothing. I just wanted to see you on this lovely Christmas evening," The younger said,
leaning against the counter. "Want me to admire you from afar, Specs?"

"I think that's called stalking, but you do you," Taehyung rolled his eyes. "If you want to
help, help instead of standing there."

"I can't touch the cookies," Jeongguk held his hands up when Taehyung tried to give him a
piece of dough. "I was playing with the dogs. Yeontan was scaring them, so I decided to step
in."

"You were playing with our dogs?" He raised an eyebrow at him. Jeongguk nodded proudly.

"Like a caring father, I came to the aid of our little son and helped him become friends with
your family dogs," Jeongguk flashed him a crooked grin.

"Are you sure you weren't scaring them?" Taehyung teased, earning an eyeroll from the
younger.

"Jeez, Specs. At least tell me you're proud of me," The younger jutted his bottom lip out, his
arms crossing over his chest. Taehyung merely smiled, finding the way Jeongguk pouted like
a little child absolutely heartwarming.
"I'm proud of you," The older murmured, leaning toward him and giving him a chaste kiss.
"Now, can you wash your hands and start unwrapping chocolates?"

"You got it sir," Jeongguk saluted him and went to the sink. Taehyung couldn't help but notice
the cute way he had a little bounce in his step when he came back to him, hands washed and
smile wide on his lips.

"Can I ask what you got me for Christmas, Specs?" Jeongguk nudged his side as he
unwrapped the candy wrappers off each chocolate.

"That beats the purpose of a surprise," Taehyung snorted. "If I tell you, it ruins everything."

"Well, can I tell you what I want?"

"Jeongguk, I already got it," He said, placing another ball of dough on the tray. Jeongguk
rolled his eyes.

"Hear me out," The younger said. "For Christmas, I want candles. Lit ones. And I want it
dark."

"Why do you want it to be dark?" Taehyung's brows furrowed. Jeongguk shushed him
instantly, and of course, he had no choice but to listen.

"It's gonna be dark, and then I want you there. You will be naked, with your legs spread out
just for me, and I'm gonna be naked and we're gonna have sex!"

Taehyung choked, "W-what?"

"Okay, I'm not saying I want you for the sex because that is wrong. You are so much more
than just a person I'd fuck," Jeongguk said, voice a little too loud.

Taehyung shushed him, scared his dads would overhear, and God, he wasn't ready for that
talk with them. His dads were the least people he wanted to hear how sex worked from. Well,
same thing with Jeongguk, for he made him watch porn to figure out how all this worked.

"M'just saying. It's just a gift idea for the both of us," Jeongguk shrugged, but he knew damn
well the younger was smirking at him the moment his face started to heat up.

"And if I say yes?" It was Jeongguk's turn to freeze.

"Y-you're considering it?" He raised an eyebrow at him. "You actually want me to

put my dick in you?"

"Don't put it like that, jeez," Taehyung rolled his eyes, trying to play it cool when his entire
body was reacting the opposite way. Frick, was his heart supposed to be racing this fast?

"Oh my god," Jeongguk blinked, setting the chocolate in his hands on the counter.

"I'm gonna gently fuck you in the ass tonight!"

"Who said it was going to be tonight?" He felt his throat swell, and he wasn't sure if it was
panic or the fact Jeongguk was being ridiculous that made his chest tighten.

It didn't take long for the younger to realize he went silent. He refused to look at him, hearing
him sigh softly before Jeongguk's hands reached over and cupped his face into his careful
palms, tilting his head up so that he was finally looking at him.

"I won't do anything if you're not ready," Jeongguk murmured, stroking his cheek with the
edge of his thumb. "But let me tell you, if you do make that decision, I'd never hurt you."

"Heard it hurts the first time," Taehyung mumbled, hating how his entire face felt like it was
on fire. Every word that left his lips made him dumber. Jeongguk's features instantly
softened.

"Bun," He whispered, the edges of his lips curving upward into a gentle smile. "I'll make sure
to make it as painless as possible."

"You would?" The younger nodded.

"Promise," He said, thumb brushing the bottom of his lip. "If it hurts, I give you permission
to strangle me."

"Um Jeongguk—,"

"—And I assure you I won't enjoy it for your sake."

"Oh god," Taehyung exhaled, his chest easing at his words. Jeongguk released his face, a
deep chuckle rumbling in his throat as they returned to their work.

"But can I ask one last thing?" Jeongguk asked as he focused on trying to unwrap the
chocolate without breaking the foil. Taehyung nodded.

"Can the reindeer socks stay on during sex?"

Taehyung punched his shoulder, and that was the end of the conversation.

While they finished up the cookies, rolling the dough into balls, unwrapping the rest of the
candy, the and occasionally scolding Jeongguk when he ate the chocolate, Taehyung couldn't
help but think.

Was he really going to have sex with Jeongguk?

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, giving his virginity to Jeongguk. He was the only one he trusted
it with, and he was pretty important to him, so it made sense they'd do it together, right? Plus
Jeongguk would never hurt him, and he wasn't using him either.

Whenever his gaze fell on him, it slowly started to nake sense that he would give that part of
him to Jeongguk. There wasn't a reason not to.
"Taehyung! Are you two in there?" He heard the front door open, Siwon calling out to them
as he helped Jeongguk put the cookies into the oven.

"One second!" He shouted back, and when Jeongguk was done, he helped him up, quickly
kissed him, and the two walked out of the kitchen together to meet up with his dads.

"Wait— stop! Don't move!" Jeongguk and Taehyung immediately froze by the door,
wondering what was wrong while Siwon fumbled in his bag for something.

"Did we do something?" Taehyung asked, genuinely confused. He glanced at Warren behind

his dad, silently asking him what was wrong, but the other dad merely gave him a thumbs-up.

"Papa, please," He begged Warren, "What's up? Did we burn something? Is everything
alright?"

"Taehyung," Warren simply chuckled, his hand squeezing his husband's shoulder as he cursed
to himself when he couldn't find what he was looking for. "Look up, sweetheart."

"Look up? What would— you did not," and there, exactly where Warren was pointing, was a
bunch of mistletoe dangling from the door frame.

Jeongguk seemed to notice it, and he half expected the younger to make a big deal. He turned
to see his reaction, hoping Jeongguk was just as shocked as he was, but the younger didn't
seem to mind it. He was leaning against the door frame, staring at him with a stupid smirk he
wasn't quite sure if he wanted to punch or kiss off right now.

Well, he didn't exactly have a choice. He had to kiss him— it was the rule of mistletoe.

"Mistletoe," Taehyung sighed, giving his dads a dirty look. "That's so gay."

"What do you expect?" Warren hummed, the laugh that rumbled in his chest, low. "We're all
gay."

"Not cool," He mumbled, gaze flitting between Warren, who was giving them a thumbs-up,
and Jeongguk, who seemed to not be bothered at all.

"C'mon baby, kiss him!" Siwon cheered, finding his polaroid camera that Taehyung noticed
he seemed to adore lately. He held the camera up, waving at them to kiss. "Do it for the
memories!"

"Jeongguk," Taehyung grumbled, turning to face him, brows furrowed and nose scrunched
together. "Are you really okay with this?"

"Are you, Specs? It's just a kiss," Jeongguk winked at him, not failing to make his face burst
into flames of red and pink.

"Not as bad as what we're gonna do later, right?" He added in a whisper, which only made
Taehyung's heart fail to keep up with the situation.

"Just kiss him already!" Siwon rolled his eyes.

"Your dads are very supportive," Jeongguk mused, cupping Taehyung's face like he did
earlier in the kitchen, gently pulling him close to him.

"They're just gay," Taehyung mumbled, "Very gay."

"I like them already," Jeongguk murmured, and before Taehyung could get in another word,
he kissed him. Of course, he didn't kiss him long because he could tell Jeongguk didn't want
to get beat up, but he kissed him.

Though no matter how short it was, behind his closes eyes he could feel that familiar jump of
electricity, sparking a flurry of fireworks to erupt beneath his eyelids. It was always like that
— a little festival of fireworks— whenever he kissed Jeongguk.

Never failed to make his heart tighten and swell, and color his vision with the illusion of
thousands of different colors, flooding his senses with the jittery buzz of serotonin. Happy,
that was what he was when the younger's lips were on his.

And when he pulled away, Taehyung's breath hitched seeing the familiar twinkle in his eyes
that was missing for way too long.

Oh no.

"Perfect!" Siwon chuckle made them jump apart. The two of them walked side by side, their
shoulders pressing into one another's as they joined Tae's dads in the living room.

"I'm gonna frame this," They all sat down around the fire place, the four of them leaning
against the couch with their mugs of hot chocolate they left to cool on the coffee table.

"Frame it?" Taehyung asked, bringing the edge of his mug up to his lips while Jeongguk
settled beside him, arm lazily draped over his shoulders.

"It's a monumental moment in history! Our baby has a boyfriend!" Siwon set the polaroid on
the coffee table, tilting his mug at Jeongguk with a gentle smile.

Jeongguk and Taehyung exchanged awkward grins, knowing that neither of them knew what
they were and didn't have the heart to tell them the truth.

It wouldn't hurt to go along with it, right?

"Oh, before I forget, Taehyung," He watched, brows drawn together as Siwon got up, half-
jogging over to the tree and grabbing some presents from beneath the stack before returning
back.

"It's Christmas eve, dad," Taehyung said, glancing between Warren and Siwon, wondering
what was going on. At that, Warren cleared his throat.

"We have to pickup your grandparents from the airport really early tomorrow because your
aunt's family came down with the flu," Warren explained.
"Are Grandma and Grandpa okay?" He asked, not liking the sound of that at all, specifically
because the flu didn't treat older people well. Siwon nodded, handing Jeongguk and
Taehyung the gifts that they got for one another.

"They're fine. My sister has everything covered," Siwon squeezed his shoulder briefly before
returning back to where he sat with Warren. "We just want to be here to see you open your
gifts!"

"How come we're not opening gifts from you?" Taehyung raised an eyebrow at them.

"Just because," Siwon grabbed his phone, leaning into a smiling Warren as he videoed the
two boys. "Now go on, open your gifts!"

Taehyung gave the younger a look, only to be met with a shrug. He sighed, supposing it
wouldn't be bad to open them early; after all, he was wondering what Jeongguk got him.
Surprisingly, the younger was very good at keeping secrets.

"You should open mine first," Taehyung nudged Jeongguk's side, hugging his rectangle
shaped gift to his chest. He found it absolutely adorable how the younger wrapped it in cute
little dogs with little mittens and hats.

"What even is this?" Jeongguk held the small box up, lips curving into a giddy smirk as he
ripped off the tape. Taehyung shrugged, stomach doing all kinds of flips watching the
younger open it.

His present was wrapped in holiday volleyballs in festive colors, and he seemed to like it by
the way his eyes widened and twinkled brighter than they ever had before. Jeongguk's
crossed legs bounced up and down, eager to figure out what he got as he pulled the last bit
off, gasping loudly.

"You bought me a star?"

"Yeah, I did," Taehyung chuckled, tucking his hair behind his ear as he watched the younger
study it closely. God, it was cute how his lips were curved in an oval, eyes splayed wide with
awe.

It was a rectangular black frame, and in the center is a little photograph of the star he
managed to buy for him. He named it Jeongguk's Constellation, and beneath it in his own
writing was a note in scraggly cursive.

How rare it was to find someone whose eyes shine brighter than the stars until I met you.

"No way! You bought me an actual star! Nobody's done that before," Jeongguk's voice
softened once his gaze met the older's.

"Yeah, I did. You like it?"

"Of course I fuc— fricking love it!" Jeongguk changed his wording last minute realizing his
parents were staring.
If it was possible, he noticed that the smile he wore on his lips stretched across his features
even further, wide enough to expose his bunny teeth— the biggest, rarest of smiles Jeongguk
could muster.

"I thought it would be appropriate for you to have one, since you have stars in your eyes,"
Taehyung murmured, seeming to completely forget anyone other than them existed whenever
his stare fixated on the younger.

It was in the way Jeongguk giggled that captivated him, the sound fluttering sounded like
stars being born. How his lips curved in a smile that radiated this warmth which reminded
him of the sun, and the way his doe eyes twinkled like an endless galaxy, shining with
thousands of different stars containing all kinds of different dreams and possibilities.

He made it practically impossible not to.

"God, Specs, I love this," Jeongguk murmured, staring down at the frame in his hands. "I'm
gonna put it up in my dorm."

"I'm happy you do," Taehyung bit down on his lip, unable to keep himself from smiling as his
cheeks flooded with warmth.

"You should open mine now," The younger said, carefully setting his frame on the lap. "I
think you'd love mine too."

"Really now?" Taehyung chuckled, working at removing the pieces of tape carefully, unlike
Jeongguk who gave up in trying to salvage the paper.

"Yup. I've always wanted to give you this, and now felt appropriate," Jeongguk nodded,
scooting closer to him, their knees brushing against one another's.

As Taehyung carefully pried off the last of the cute dog wrapping paper, his heart
immediately stopped in his chest, his own lungs refusing any oxygen. He lifted the top of the
box off, setting it down as his tummy erupted with a symphony of butterflies.

"Y-you gave me your v-volleyball jersey?" He whispered in shock, unable to hear his own
voice among the thrumming of his heart.

He swallowed, feeling like he was shoving a rock down his throat with his tongue as his
fingers gently lifted the smooth material from the box. And there, folded in the bod was his
jersey. Jeongguk's number stood out, the white numbers stark against the sleek black and red
fabric.

"Always wanted to," The younger hummed, watching the older take it out and turn it around,
unaware of the way his heart lept out of its confinement seeing Jeongguk's last name on the
back.

"Y'know, my dream was to have my mother there, and it still is," Jeongguk said, fiddling with
his fingers on his lap. "But I think dreams can be added to, right?"
"Of course," Taehyung whispered, running his index finger down the numbers stitched to the
material.

"Well, I just wanted to tell you that it would be a dream come true if you come and watch me
play, too," He murmured ever so softly.

"You being there would mean the world to me."

He didn't know what to say or feel, except that his heart swelled and every part of himself
was drawn to the younger in that very moment.

He wanted nothing more but to be in Jeongguk's embrace, wanted nothing more but to feel
Jeongguk against him. Feel his heart beating along with his own, feel his laughter rumble in
his chest that never failed to evoke his own, and his gentle touch running down his arms.

There, he realized that Jeongguk was his everything, and everything else in between. He was
the moment he was waiting for, and he didn't want it to end.

"I love this," Taehyung murmured, clearing his throat in an attempt to speak louder. "I love
it."

"M'happy if you're happy," Jeongguk grinned. "Was that cheesy enough? Was there enough
sap?"

"More than enough," The older nodded, tilting his head up to meet Jeongguk's gaze. "You're
more than enough." He added in a whisper only meant for the younger's ears.

"You two are so adorable," Siwon broke them out of their moment, and when the two boys
looked in their direction, Siwon and Warren were giving them supportive smiles.

"Thank you, Jeongguk," Taehyung averted his attention back to the younger, hand reaching
out and settling on top of his.

Jeongguk nodded, swallowing as his hand flipped the other way, fingers intertwining with the
older's.

"Always," And for some reason, Taehyung supposed he was crazy for thinking that might of
meant more.

He thought it was his imagination, seeing that unknown emotion flicker in Jeongguk's honey
eyes. But the longer he stared at them, searching for an answer he couldn't find, he knew
maybe he wasn't supposed to find anything.

Maybe it was because the answer was right there all along. The answer was Jeongguk.

"Always," Taehyung squeezed his hand. "Always."

 ♡♡♡

It was late when the four of them decided to call it a night. Taehyung and Jeongguk waved at
the couple before going down the opposite hallway, calling good night over their shoulders
until they heard the door shut.

"Well I had fun tonight, Specs," Jeongguk chuckled softly, sliding his hands into his pants
pockets as the two of them walked side by side, dragging their feet against the wood.

"I'm pretty sure my parents want me to bring you here more often," Taehyung bumped his
shoulder against the younger's, flashing him a teasing smile.

"I wouldn't mind. They love me, and I honestly love them. They're the gay figures I didn't
know I need in my life," The younger snorted.

"I thought you were bisexual," He said, nudging his elbow as they slowly approached his
bedroom door.

"Specs, we can agree dick is better on a mutual level. I'd take dick any chance I get,"
Jeongguk declared.

"I thought you said you don't bottom."

"Oh I meant your dick," The younger clarified, winking at him. He rolled his eyes, thankful it
was too dark to see the blush seeping onto his cheeks.

"If I could, I'd take your dick any day, any time. Like my ass is yours to destroy. Although,
I'd like to dick you down,"Jeongguk mused, holding the door open for the older as he rolled
his eyes yet again.

"I don't mind getting dicked down by you."

His bedroom was dark, for the curtains were shut tight, preventing any light from shining
through the glass. The lamp on his bedside table was on from earlier, but the bulb barely
helped, illuminating the dim room a hazy, dull orange that glowed ever so faintly.

"But can I say that your ass is amazing?"

"My ass is what?" Taehyung snorted in disbelief, watching as Jeongguk leaned against the
door, taking off his reindeer socks and throwing them in the hamper.

"Amazing. Have I ever told you that I have an addiction to touching your ass?"
"No?" He crossed his arms, watching the younger peel off his sweater, unable to avert his
eyes when his undershirt rises along with it, exposing a peek of sculpted muscle.

Taehyung tried to pry his eyes away, knowing it might not be a good idea to try and imagine
what else was beneath his clothes. He knew Jeongguk was fit; he was an athlete. The guy
worked out every chance he got, and he saw him shirtless before.

Yet, as Jeongguk tossed his sweater to the ground, and the buckle of his belt being undone
echoed through the darkness of Taehyung's bedroom, he knew this wasn't the same as before.

"Well, Specs. Currently I'm imagining the ways I'd fuck you. M'deciding at a 90° angle, but if
you want it more obtuse, I could work with that," At that, the older snorted. God he was
ridiculous.

"Jeongguk, are you okay? Did you drink too much hot chocolate?" He teased, knowing how
sugar made the younger all jumpy and excited. Jeongguk glared at him, failing to look scary.

"Y'know the dick's actually a sponge that sucks your blood when you get excited?" Jeongguk
ignored him, continuing to ramble on ridiculously.

"Jeongguk...?"

"And that's on my 4.5 GPA," The younger stood up straight, barefoot and belt in his hands.
"You think, Specs, if I can fit my fist into this sock, I can't fit my fist into your asshole?"

"Okay? What?" Taehyung's brows drew together as he approached the younger.

Jeongguk gulped visibly, adam's apple bobbing vigorously in the hollow of his throat.
Taehyung reached out, hands settling on the sides of his arms.

"Okay? To me fisting your ass? I hope not because that's just straight up freaky," Jeongguk
rambled, nervousness glinting in his doe eyes as Taehyung ran his fingers up and down his
bare arms.

"I swear I'm not kink shaming, but I am."

"Calm down," The older murmured softly, voice decibels lower than usual, vowels slurring
together. The other nodded, feeling Taehyung's huge palms cup his cheeks.

"Is it obvious?" Jeongguk chuckled halfheartedly, his own hands finding their way to
Taehyung's hips, holding him firmly in place. His breath hitched ever so slightly, feeling
Jeongguk's thumbs hook beneath his sweater, gently massaging the plush skin.

"Jeongguk," Taehyung whispered, running the pad of his thumb across his cheek, studying
his soft features gently beneath the orange glow.

"Taehyung?" The younger murmured back, squeezing his hip. His doe-eyed gaze flitted
between the older's narrowed gaze to his lips. He swallowed.
Neither one of them said a word as Taehyung drew him close, breathing slowing, heavy with
every rise and fall of his chest. He held Jeongguk close, their lips fractions apart, seconds
from colliding. His gaze steadily fixed on his slightly parted mouth, grip slightly trembling.

"It's okay, if you don't want me," Jeongguk's voice was soft, his coarse hands smoothly
sliding up his sides, thumbs brushing right below his ribcage, making his body arch into his.

God, he wanted to feel him beneath him, to feel his touch like electricity, setting him in to
flames with every stroke of his fingers against his sides. With each second that hung in the air
that they spent apart, it felt like an endless game of tug and pull.

Except now, it was like that invisible force was tired of the constant push and pull, and now,
it was pure pull.

"I want you," Taehyung murmured, nose bumping against Jeongguk's. He gasped, teeth biting
down on his bottom lip as Jeongguk pulled his hips closer to his own.

It wasn't like he was scared. Sure, Jeongguk was more experienced than him, knowing about
things which he lacked knowledge of. But in that moment, he wasn't fearing anything.

Giving this part of him to Jeongguk was right. It made sense, and this was something he
wanted.

"I want you, Jeongguk."

Those four words seemed to be enough, for the younger's lips crashed against his, catching
him off guard. He hummed softly, tilting his head to the side, letting himself lose every
worry, every thought that plagued his concious, instead allowing himself to only think of
Jeongguk.

Jeongguk's pressed lips caressed his own, kissing him tentatively, like if he went too hard
Taehyung would break and he wouldn't be able to contain himself.

The older's hands slid up the back of his neck, fumbling with the curtain of dark hair, fingers
tanlged in his tresses.

Somewhere along the lines, Jeongguk started walking forward, making him stagger back as
his lips broke away from his (reluctantly), now tracing them down the expanse of his jaw, lips
ghosting over the bone before capturing his lips again with fervor.

Taehyung threw his arms around Jeongguk's neck, gasping into the younger's mouth. The
younger took the chance to slip his tongue in, the cool, wet muscle brushing against the rim
of his lips, teeth teasing playfully at the plush skin.

He lowered Taehyung onto the middle of the bed, getting on top of him, his hands exploring
wherever he could reach as he deepened the kiss, noses and foreheads pressed against one
another.

Taehyung groaned lowly into his mouth, running his hands down the junction where his neck
met his broad shoulders, squeezing at the firm muscle.
From there, something shifted, and suddenly the want to taste Jeongguk intensified, making
his heart swell as his fingers found their way to his hair once more, tugging at the locks.

Jeongguk hummed in response, tongue twisting against his, the squelch of saliva obscene,
evoking a flame which licked at the insides of his stomach.

It was different in the way Jeongguk kissed him feverishly, chins bumping and teeth clinking
clumsily in the effort to be closer, to taste more.

None of that seemed to matter as their clothed bodies pressed against one another, searching
for a certain friction they couldn't find unless those things came off.

And they did.

Jeongguk eventually popped his lips off the older's, and beneath the orange glow, Taehyung
stared up at him, hand reaching up to brush against the side of his cheek. Tenderly, Jeongguk
melted into his touch, narrowed eyes and swollen lips making Taehyung's heart sputter.

"Always?" He asked, something flickering in his gaze as he hovered above the older,
breathing heavy.

"Always," Taehyung murmured, words hoarse. The younger merely nodded, kissing him
again briefly and helping him out of his shirt, dropping it on the ground along with his own.

Jeongguk began to trail kisses down his neck, the sensation of bare skin against bare skin
making Taehyung's chest flutter and flip shamelessly. He even found himself smiling, fingers
playing with the younger's hair while he nipped at the skin.

"What?" Jeongguk muttered against his neck, vowels tickling him as he went ahead and
pressed another gentle kiss in the crevice of his collarbone.

"Think you're beautiful," He inhaled sharply, gripping at Jeongguk's dark locks when the
younger sucked a hickey on his shoulder blade, shivering at the clash of teeth on his sensitive
skin and the cool swipe of his tongue lapping at the bruise.

"No you," Jeongguk chuckled breathlessly, trailing kisses beneath his jaw adoringly.
Taehyung nearly let out a moan as Jeongguk left yet another love bite.

"Sorry, bun. M'not trying to hurt you," He stroked his cheek delicately, pressing his lips
tenderly on the blossom of purple on his tanned skin while the older played with a strip of his
hair.

"I know you're not," Taehyung mumbled, capturing Jeongguk's face in his shaky palms,
tilting his head so he was looking down at him. He kissed him, slowly, lips moving fluidly
against his.

When Jeongguk pulled away, lips disconnecting with a soft pop, Taehyung gave him a nod.
His gaze flitted down to his jeans, hands releasing from around his face and ran down the
sculpted muscle of his pecs to his hardened abdomen, feeling Jeongguk shiver beneath his
ghostly touch.
Their bodies were different, mostly because of their activities and the way they took care of
themselves. Jeongguk was muscular, pecs and abs defined from the heavy training he
endured. He could identify the stretchmarks from lifting weights, and the moles that scattered
his body like tiny stars.

While Jeongguk was stocky and cut out of fine polished marble, Taehyung was more broad,
on the toned end, body like smoothed, watered clay.

He worked out, like what, a couple times a month when he remembered?

He was nowhere as near as muscular as Jeongguk, but he took pride in his big thighs and
thick ass (it was all he had). His stomach was a bit on the pudgy end, nonetheless flat and soft
— a drastic contrast to Jeongguk.

A long time ago, he might have been insecure and hid himself, but in this moment,
Jeongguk's eyes were the only ones he couldn't shy away from.

He felt the younger's gaze focus on him, fingers gripping at the flesh on his hips, squeezing
them before tilting his head upward to capture Jeongguk's lips in his. He multitasked,
moaning quietly into the younger's mouth; he sucked on his tongue, while his hands undid his
zipper.

The older helped him get out from his pants, and without a second thought, Jeongguk kicked
them aside. Taehyung moved his head aside, letting him continue to suckle at the empty
canvas of his neck, filling it with an assortment of stinging purples and angry reds.

Fuck, his senses were on override; everything around him was amplified, including the
sensitivity of his cock pressed against his stomach, hard and leaking pre-cum that left the
material of his boxers wet and grossly sticky.

He was soaking; didn't think it was possible until now, and his visible erection ached,
desperate to be touched, to be relieved of this dull pain.

Jeongguk gave a generous tug at Taehyung's jeans, for they got stuck at the thick flesh of his
thighs. Once he got them off, they were left in nothing but their boxers, and their foreheads
pressed against one another's as their lungs heaved for air.

"I need to grab something," Jeongguk whispered huskily against his earlobe, hot breath
tickling the sensitive cartilage.

"Would hurt if we don't have this."

Taehyung nodded, watching the younger get off the bed, trying his best to be quiet as he
walked over to their bags to fetch what he supposed were a condom and lube (he wasn't that
clueless).

He threw his head back into his pillow, staring up at the ceiling, but his hands, fuck, they
drifted, slipping beneath his underwear.
He didn't usually touch himself; there wasn't time, and he wasn't ever desperate. But now, his
wrist twitched, fingers brushing against his hardened cock, and the urge to touch himself was
intense, to ease the pain that swelled his senses with this uncomfortable need.

Jeongguk was busy, searching for something, so maybe he wouldn't mind if he touched
himself, right?

Taehyung exhaled through his nose, lips slacking as his warm palm enclosed around his
shaft. He bit down on his lip, stifling a moan as he squeezed his length, running the pad of his
thumb over the slit.

He watched through heavy eyelids at the beads of pre-cum seeping beneath his thumb,
oozing beneath his touch, for it had no other clear path.

He gasped, lips curving into a loose oval as he dug his nail into the slit, hips slightly bucking
up at the touch. He clamped his teeth down on his bottom lip, flicking his wrist up, and
before he could do anything else, fingers clamped around his wrist.

"That can't happen, bun," Jeongguk was above him again, body between his spread legs. He
carefully guided Taehyung's hand out of his underwear, pressing his wrist into the side of the
mattress.

"Suh-sorry, it's just—," Taehyung was shut up by the younger, brows knitted together as
Jeongguk kissed him hard, catching him off guard.

"Let me take care of you, now, okay? But you have to get naked, and it might hurt, but I
assure you, it'll help," Jeongguk mumbled against his jaw. The older nodded dumbly.

"Okay," He whispered, "I trust you."

"Tell me whenever you want me to stop," Jeongguk whispered, fingers gently gripping the
waistband of his underwear. Taehyung nodded, fisting at the bedsheets.

He watched, eyelids heavy with want, as his cock sprung out of the constraints of his boxers,
settling upright on the bottom of his flat tummy. Sure, he was bigger than Jeongguk by a lot,
but that didn't seem to matter.

"So fucking gorgeous," Jeongguk licked his lips, throwing his underwear aside as his hands
clamped on the fat of Taehyung's thighs, massaging them.

"Everything about you is just... so fucking perfect," He murmured, running his fingers up and
down the expanse of his golden flesh, kneading at the supple skin.

His words on their own were enough to make his heart soar.

"Gonna make you see what I see, bun," Jeongguk hummed, letting Taehyung remove his
boxers. The two of them didn't dare break their eyecontact as he kicked it aside, stares
unwavering.
Jeongguk dipped down, kissing Taehyung once, then twice, a small smile curling onto his lips
as the older wrapped his arms around his neck, holding him close. He pecked his lips again,
nose scrunching cutely as Jeongguk tucked his hair behind his ear.

"I'm gonna stretch you open, alright? It'll sting at first, but if it's hurting too much, tell me,"
He said softly, tracing his finger down the dip of Taehyung's collarbone. Taehyung nodded,
letting Jeongguk kiss his forehead.

"It's okay," He whispered, "I got you."

He pulled away from him, and a part of Taehyung wished he could hold Jeongguk longer and
feel the heat of his bare skin against his own. Maybe at the end of this they could cuddle, and
he could run his fingers through his hair, and bask in his warmth.

But now, it wasn't the time, and Jeongguk was sitting between his legs, the bottle of lube in
his hands. He didn't question where the younger got it; knowing the Jeon Jeongguk, he was
probably always prepared.

It was then did all of this settle in.

Holy shit.

This was really happening— Jeongguk, his best friend, was going to take his virginity.

Taehyung swallowed, adjusting himself so he could have a better view of the younger's face.
He flinched slightly, feeling the cool sting of lube drizzle over his hole, the sensation
numbing against his sensitive heat. His toes curled, even though nothing happened yet—
fuck, this was weird.

"Sorry, bun," Jeongguk sighed, running his hands across his thighs, giving them an assuring
squeeze. He nodded, fingers gripping the sheets as he eyed the younger pour some of the gel
on his fingers.

"Are you okay? We can always stop," He whispered, his free fingers holding onto his thigh
which he held back to give himself better access.

Taehyung bit down on his lip, "It's okay. Do it."

He squeezed his eyes shut, nearly crying out in pain if it wasn't for his hand to clamp over his
mouth. It stung, bad, and Jeongguk's finger wasn't fully in him yet; he hadn't even pushed
past the taut ring of muscle.

He could feel Jeongguk's worried gaze on him. He inhaled unevenly, running his hands down
his face before letting them return to his sides, knuckles white as he gripped the sheets. He
nodded, trying to relax himself.

Jeongguk went again, his other hand massaging his inner thigh to help ease the pain. He kept
his gaze on Taehyung, watching his chest rise and fall unevenly as he worked his single
finger inside of him, the lube making the slide easier but not eliminating the weirdness of the
sensation.
It burned, faintly, and eventually Jeongguk eased his finger in and out of his puckered hole,
crooking his touch against his inner walls, trying to make it easier for him. He curled his
finger inward, watching the older suck in a breath.

Taehyung's breathing came out staggered, each pump of Jeongguk's fingers making his
stomach coil. Soon, the younger inserted a second finger, making him gasp out, though he
made sure to remain quiet as he continued to work him open.

"You're doing so good, bun," Jeongguk praised, watching the older's eyes fall shut as he
twisted his fingers inside of him, brushing against his sensitive walls but not quite touching
his bundle of nerves.

The sound was obscene, awfully lewd, with every pump of his fingers intertwining with
Taehyung's little whimpers. He felt his gaze studying him while his fingers curved and spread
apart, prompting the older to clench around his touch.

It was when Jeongguk slid three fingers in did he accidentally let out a moan, the soft groan
falling effortlessly from his slacked lips. But before another could escape, Jeongguk crawled
on top of him and silenced him with an open-mouth kiss.

"Shh, baby," Jeongguk kissed the corner of his lips, holding himself above him with his
forearm. "Don't want to get caught, right?"

Taehyung shook his head. No— that would be too hard to explain.

He fucked his fingers into him carefully, angling his hands in a way that managed to brush
right against Taehyung's prostate. The older's hips bucked up, brows drawn together as he let
out a muffled moan, again Jeongguk kissing him to silence him.

Taehyung wrapped his arms around his neck, whimpering against his lips as Jeongguk slowly
pulled his fingers out, nails brushing against his fluttering hole before sinking his digits back
in.

"Ah, J-Jeongguk," The older squeezed him, body trembling.

"It's okay," Jeongguk mumbled against his ear, tongue swirling around his earlobe, making
him squirm from being too damn sensitive.

"F-feels weird— hhn, fuck," Taehyung cursed, back curving upward as Jeongguk's thin,
nimble fingers swept across his prostate.

His hips wiggled, needy body subconsciously thrusting against his fingers with every pump
of his hand.

It was weird, this feeling, but eventually the oddness of having three fingers stuffing his hole
melted into this sense of pleasure that made his belly tingle and set his body ablaze.

He gasped, hole sputtering, clenching around, and swallowing Jeongguk's fingers with every
careful thrust.
The entire time, Jeongguk was brushing his hair out of his face, peppering his features with
sweet kisses and reassurances that he was doing good. He was already coated in a thin sheen
of sweat; after all, the room was stuffy and their bare bodies were pressed in such an intimate
way, leaving him burning.

Every burst of pleasure was followed by a praise, and every moan was silenced by a gentle
kiss.

"Think you're ready, bun?" The younger asked, pulling away from him reluctantly, hole
fluttering around nothing. Both his hands ran down his sides, silently appreciating him.

"Y-yeah," Taehyung nodded, gaze following Jeongguk as he reached over on the bedside
table and took a condom packet.

He ripped it using his teeth, and in moments, he rolled it over his hardened cock, lathering
himself with more of the lubricant even though Taehyung could feel the gel gush out of his
stretched hole if he moved his thighs.

When Jeongguk was ready, he positioned himself above Taehyung, hand lining his cock with
his entrance. He glanced over at Taehyung, noticing the way the older dug his teeth into his
bottom lip, hands clutching the sheets tight.

"Baby," Jeongguk murmured, "I have you. I promise I'll be gentle." Taehyung nodded,
swallowing thickly.

"I-I trust you, Gguk," Taehyung whispered, and with one last fond look exchanged between
them, Jeongguk slowly pushed himself into the older.

Taehyung nearly cried out at the stretch, but he was fast and clampd his hand over his mouth.
His eyes were blurred with tears, and to be honest, he was thankful he wasn't wearing glasses.
He leaned his head back into the pillow, whimpering as tears sprung at his eyes.

"Fuck, Taehyung, are you okay?" Jeongguk gently massaged his thighs, hovering above him
as he inserted himself half-way in. Taehyung covered his face, nodding for Jeongguk to keep
going.

He just wasn't used to it, after all, he was virgin until this moment. Things didn't really go
into his ass in his free time until now.

A wave of pleasure engulfed him before crashing, leaving behind a moan in its wake as
Jeongguk carefully slid himself in and out of his tight hole. He mewled, the new sensation
stinging, but at the same time, he couldn't help but curl his toes at the way his nerves danced
beneath his skin.

"Alright?" Jeongguk asked, leaning forward, his mouth brushing against his jaw as he
bottomed out. He groaned lowly, gripping at Taehyung's hips but not too tight that it would
hurt.
"I-I'm okay," Taehyung nodded, brows slightly knitted together when Jeongguk guided his
arms to wrap around his neck once more.

"You can hold onto me," He said, reaching up and cupping the side of his cheek, running his
thumb over the soft skin. "Want you to be comfortable, alright?"

"Yeah," He exhaled, nodding again as he let his eyes close for a brief moment, letting himself
adjust to Jeongguk's cock inside of him. He leaned into his touch, feeling him press kisses to
his forehead.

"You're doing so good. So perfect, Tae. The most prettiest boy I've ever seen," Jeongguk
mumbled, moving his hips slowly, pulling out of him before sliding his cock into him once
more, the squelch of lube and smacking skin filling the room.

"You think I'm pretty?" Taehyung whispered, staring up at the younger. He nodded, wiping
away his tears.

"I think you're breathtaking, bun. Everytime I look at you, I feel stupid for not realizing it
earlier," He admitted, voice rasping as he thrusted foreward, watching the older's face for any
sign of pain.

Taehyung hummed, breathing out slowly, simply taking the time to admire Jeongguk on top
of him. How focused he seemed, trying not to hurt him, and the way his brows were drawn in
worry as he stared at the beautiful boy taking his cock.

"I appreciate everything about you," Jeongguk leaned down, kissing the side of his neck. "I
like your mind. Your voice. Your personality."

"Sap," Taehyung teased, lightly smacking his back, features scrunching up by the smile
tugging on his lips. He giggled when Jeongguk blew a raspberry beneath his jaw.

"Like your eyes. Absolutely love your butt. I can't get enough of it," At that, he squeezed his
ass, earning another gush of muted laughter from the older.

"Love your ass so much, here I am fucking into it," He chuckled softly, pushing aside
Taehyung's fringe splayed across his forehead with sweat.

"Y'know it was my dream to fuck your ass."

"Was it?" Taehyung wiggled his hips, finding it adorable how Jeongguk dipped his head
down, hiding the way those movements affected him.

"Yeah. I can go on and on," Jeongguk murmured, lifting his gaze up back to be met with a
beautiful smile on the older's lips. "I think you're amazing."

"Can you show me?" Taehyung asked, watching confusion flicker over Jeongguk's features
before he realized what he meant. "It doesn't hurt anymore."

"Are you sure?" The younger raised an eyebrow at him. "I don't wanna hurt you."
"If it hurts, it hurts," He simply shrugged, tracing shapes down Jeongguk's back, running his
fingers into his back dimples. "You'll kiss it better, right?"

"Of course I'm gonna kiss it better," Jeongguk nuzzled his cheek. "Gonna fuck you so good,
Tae. But you gotta be quiet for me, alright?"

"I'll be quiet," Taehyung murmured, hands sliding down his shoulders and up the expanse of
his neck, cupping the lower half of his face.

"Jeongguk?"

"Yeah, bun?"

"I appreciate you too," He whispered, running his thumb over his lip. Jeongguk merely
smirked, pressing one last kiss to his lips before pulling out of him, cock rubbing against his
walls.

"What are you—hn f-fuck," Taehyung cried out, breathlessly, not expecting the younger to
thrust into him like that, but he admitted it felt good. Too good.

Jeongguk found his rhythm, picking up from where they left off and rolling his hips forward
into the older, fingers digging into his sides. Taehyung let out breathy moans, the crescents of
his nails sinking into Jeongguk's shoulders as he fucked him gently.

His head lolled back into the pillow, eyes squeezed shut as Jeongguk sucked a hickey on his
throat, teeth pinching teasingly at the flesh before gliding his tongue down the bruising patch.
His hands roamed, feeling his body, memorizing every dip and curve.

Taehyung gasped, lips sputtering and moans heavy off his tongue. Stars exploded beneath his
eyelids in all kinds of supernovas and collisions, the sensation of pain edging him closer to
relieving the tight ball knotting itself in the pit of his belly.

The sound of skin slapping against skin blended into their low groans and airy moans; the
occasional curse and the sharp breaths filtered through as Jeongguk fucked into his
Taehyung.

But both of them knew it was more than that— way more than just a simple fuck.

It was more than just Jeongguk pounding into him, pleasuring the older with every fiber of
his being as he unraveled beneath his fingertips, crying out his name in blissed-out whimpers.

It was in the way they created something out of nothing, brought together the stars in their
eyes to be a part of something brighter, something infinite. They created galaxies with every
touch, filling each other's solar system with planets and stars and everything else in between.

"J-Jeongguk m'close," Taehyung sputtered, tongue like putty as he clenched around the
younger. "Suh-so close— mhm."

His curled with every thrust Jeongguk managed to reach his aching prostate, back curving
upward, ass grinding further down against Jeongguk's cock. He squeaked when the younger
delievered a hard snap of his hips, slamming against his prostate.

"It's okay," Jeongguk grunted near his ear, hand tracing down his soft tummy before curling
around his throbbing cock, squeezing the bottom of the shaft. Taehyung let out a moan,
drawing out every vowel as Jeongguk pumped his stinging erection.

"It's okay, bun. I'm right here."

"F-fuck, hng," He gasped, brows knitted together tightly, nails digging into Jeongguk's bare
shoulders which he didn't realize were a bright, angry red from scratching him unknowingly.

He pressed his face to the crook of Jeongguk's neck, overwhelmed with every calculated snap
of his hips, and the way his calloused palm stroked his member rapidly, pushing him over the
edge— over what he could take.

Jeongguk didn't stop there; he peppered his faces with kisses, called him beautiful, pretty, and
all kinds of names that left his heart a rapid beating mess. He caressed his body, mumbling in
his ear how he adored every part, wanted to kiss every part— and he did.

Kissed his eyelids, the round of his nose, the inner crook of his neck slicked with his sweat,
the shell of his ear. Kissed his cheek, his jaw, and the curve of his chin.

Jeongguk worshipped every part of him, reminding him that he was beautiful, how his worth
was incomparable: priceless.

Finally, he connected their lips, tongue gliding over his bottom lip, sliding inside the warm
cavern of his damp mouth, clashing and curling around his own. Taehyung's moans fell onto
his lips and he drank up every fatigued, baritone hum eagerly while the older pulled at his
locks.

And soon, his back arched, a higher-pitched cry rippling out of his throat as his orgasm
reverberated through him, leaving Jeongguk's name tangible on his tongue and an explosion
of jittery stars in its wake.

"God, you're beautiful," Jeongguk trailed his lips down his jaw, gently milking the rest of his
release out of him as he cried out tears, the sticky, white substance spewing all over the flat of
Taehyung's stomach and all over the younger's palm.

"So fucking beautiful. M'lucky, Taehyung."

Taehyung exhaled shakily, whimpering as he came down from his pleasure high, glancing
down at the mess of cum staining his tanned skin white. His face, already feverishly heated,
flushed a deeper shade of scarlet realizing how fast it seemed.

"Was I-I too early?" The older mumbled, pulling away to get a better look at the younger's
faces. His brows scrunched together as he realized Jeongguk was already pulling out.

"No, you were perfect," He said, planting a kiss to his damp forehead after wiping away his
tears.
"W-wait but you didn't come yet, Gguk," He frowned a little, watching as Jeongguk took the
unused condom off and discarded it into the trashbin after slipping it into a tissue.

"Taehyung, I wanted to pleasure you, not myself," Jeongguk flashed him a crooked smile as
he took another tissue, wiping off the rest of the cum off of their bodies.

"Jeongguk, no," Taehyung's fingers coiled around his wrist, stopping him from moving away
from him. "You're still hard."

"It's okay I'm fine. All that matters is you, bun," Jeongguk murmured, his free hand reaching
over to brush aside the hair falling over Taehyung's face.

"You're not going anywhere, princess."

The older sat up, yanking Jeongguk back so that the younger was resting on top of him.
Taehyung shook his head, clicking his tongue as his other hand ran up the dip of Jeongguk's
back, humming when his back slightly arched.

"You matter too," He chewed at his lip, breath hitching in his throat as his fingers grazed the
curve of Jeongguk's ass. "A lot."

"Taehyung, you don't have to— oh," Jeongguk gasped, blinking rapidly when he saw the
older grab the bottle of lube and drizzle the cool liquid over his hole, while Taehyung's other
hand was spreading his asscheeks apart.

"I think I learned enough from you to understand what I should do, hm?" Taehyung discarded
the bottle across the bed, his hand squeezing at the supple flesh of Jeongguk's cheek.

"S-Seriously, you don't have to," Jeongguk whined, and in seconds he wasn't the same as
before.

The confidence, and the glint of smugness in his stare were replaced by soft, twinkling doe
eyes the older found adorable. Talk about a switch of headspace.

"Can't leave you hanging right?" He teased, smacking his bottom, causing the younger to
squirm above him. He brought his other hand around him, both of his fingers kneading at his
ass.

"It's gonna be a while before you're hard," Jeongguk muttered, pouting as he stared down at
Taehyung. The older shrugged, watching the younger's features slacken and head slowly dip
when his finger teased at his puckered hole.

"Then in the meantime, I'll fuck you with my fingers," Taehyung whispered into his ear,
tongue flicking around the cool metal piercings that made more than ecstatic that he wore
'em.

"F-fuck me with your fingers?" Oh, how he loved the way Jeongguk softened, realizing that it
was his turn. Taehyung nodded, planting a kiss on his jaw.
"Since it's certainly not your first time," He filled his palms with handfuls of Jeongguk's ass,
squeezing them as the younger rested on top of him, arms pinned on either side of his head.

"I just have to beat the others, right princess?"

"Mhm," Jeongguk's head lolled forward when the older circled his hole, teasing the younger
as he dipped his finger in and out, fascinated by the way the ring of muscle fluttered around
his touch.

"Gonna make you feel pretty like you did to me," Taehyung hummed, basking in the way
Jeongguk's brows scrunched together, his eyes squeezing shut as his puckered hole eagerly
swallowed his finger up.

"Gonna make you feel so good."

Jeongguk gripped his shoulders, moan tumbling out of his lips as he leaned his forehead
against his. The older merely smirked, steadily sliding his finger in and out, rubbing at his
inner walls, trying to ease the resistance. Soon, following was another one of his fingers,
pumping the younger vigorously.

The younger gasped, breath sputtering and hands squeezing at Taehyung's broad shoulders as
he angled his hand, fucking his beautiful Jeongguk with pure, unadulterated admiration. He
found it hot how Jeongguk met every thrust with his own, bouncing up on and down on his
long fingers.

Made him a bit jealous, seeing Jeongguk knew more, probably did more with others. Made
Taehyung want to be better, to make up for lacking experience by making him feel the same
way he did.

"You're so fucking gorgeous," Taehyung rasped, watching Jeongguk's lips slack into another
moan and eyebrows knit together as he slid in a third finger.

"Want nobody else to see you like this but me, alright, princess?" He left a kiss on his
shoulder blade, his other hand massaging the dip of the younger's petite waist.

"Think you can fit another finger?"

"Mhm y-yeah," Jeongguk nodded eagerly, burying his face in the crook of Taehyung's neck.
He gasped, squeaking a little at the tight stretch, all four fingers wrecking his body with
tremors.

"Hurts?" Taehyung asked, free hand sliding down the side of his hip to his bottom, cupping
the flesh and squeezing at it, loving how Jeongguk's ass fills his palm.

Jeongguk shook his head, slowly rolling his hips, moaning into Taehyung's ear as his body
jerked the moment his long fingers brushed against his bundle of nerves. Jeongguk shivered,
moans short and chaste with every twist, curve, and spread of the older's fingers inside.

The older removed his fingers from the inside of the younger, and swiftly flipped them
around on the bed, the younger now below him. Fuck, Taehyung swallowed thickly, leaning
back to admire him.

His princess was breathtaking like this: eyes blown out with bliss, sweat coating his body in a
glossy, glowing sheen, skin tinged a pretty crimson, and cock lying hard over his stomach,
thick, vibrant pink and lined with veins, which pulsated with every spurt of pre-cum leaking
from the tip.

Pissed him off that others might have seen him like this. It was too vulnerable, exposing a
side of Jeon Jeongguk that wasn't meant for the public.

He wasn't meant for anyone else. Call him selfish, but he surely didn't want anyone to see
Jeongguk like this but him.

Taehyung pulled his gaze away from the younger, reaching over to the nightstand to grab a
condom, but as he patted around his brows furrowed. He swept his hand over the counter,
confused.

"There's no more?" Taehyung frowned, returning his attention back to the younger, hands
settling on his tiny waist. "Thought you were prepared."

"I-I was," Jeongguk inhaled shakily, blush coloring his gentle features, "but I didn't think this
was gonna happen m-more than once."

"Well then," The older hummed, reaching down, hand encompassing Jeongguk's sensitive
shaft. He smirked, sliding his fingers up and down, watching the younger tremble and
whimper his name.

"Guess we have to do it without one, hm, princess?"

"S-s'okay with m— hng," Jeongguk cried out, trying to clamp his hand over his mouth but his
damn hand wouldn't stop shaking as Taehyung squeezed his cock, tight.

"F-fuck, where did you you learn this?" The older merely shrugged, watching Jeongguk
writhe from over sensitivity as he drove his thumb nail into the slit of his leaking cock.

"Are you clean, at least?" Taehyung asked, letting go of his cock to go see if he was ready
himself. He got comfortable between Jeongguk's legs, eyeing the younger's wrecked form as
he wrapped his own hand around his semi-flaccid cock.

"Yeah. We do sports screenings often. They test for literally everything," Jeongguk
murmured. "Plus I haven't had a dick up in me since junior year."

"So I'm the first you've had in a while?" Smugness glinted in the older's eyes as he pumped
his cock, jaw clenching.

"Y-yeah. You are." He felt himself harden in his grip after a few flicks of his wrist. Wasn't so
difficult seeing that he had Jeongguk spread out for him.

"Makes this special for the both of us," He chuckled, taking the lube and squeezing a
generous amount over his now aching hard-on. He decided it would be easier, even though it
was a bit messy.

"If I knew you were this good, I would have given you my virginity ages ago," Jeongguk
joked. "I don't think I can fuck anyone else after you."

"Awh, I'm flattered," Taehyung hummed. He patted the younger's thigh, moving aside his
legs and aligning his cock to his swollen hole, glistening with the lube he used earlier.

"Are you okay?" He asked, hovering above him, his other hand steadying himself on the side
of his hip. Jeongguk nodded, his legs wrapping around the older's waist, guiding him closer.

"M'ready," He whispered. Taehyung watched him carefully, teeth gritting together at the
wave pleasure crashing over him as his bare cock rubbed against Jeongguk's inner walls. He
groaned lowly, barely fully inside until he heard a sniff.

He whipped his head upward to Jeongguk's face, stopping his movements the second he
spotted tears welling in his doe eyes. Fuck, did he hurt him?

"Gguk, are you okay?" He reached up, cupping his face with the hand that wasn't stabilizing
him and ran his finger down the curve of his cheek.

Jeongguk bobbed his head, wiping at the tears blurring his eyes. "Y-you're just so big. I think
i-it's just shock." He whispered, letting out a shaky laugh.

"Well if it hurts, I can stop," Taehyung kissed his jaw, nuzzling his nose against the side of his
cheek. Jeongguk sniffled, wrapping his arms around his neck and hugging him close.

"N-no," Jeongguk whispered, "Keep going. I-I can take you, hyung."

The younger cried out as Taehyung slid in further, his inner walls clenching around him,
driving him fucking insane. The drag of his length inside his velvety walls made his mouth
water; the sensation jolted every nerve at the way Jeongguk's hole hungrily took every inch
of his cock.

Jeongguk was sobbing into Taehyung's shoulder, his cries muted against the older's skin.
Taehyung didn't move once he bottomed out, seeing that the younger was crying beneath
him, pleasure making his body to tremble.

He pressed assuring kisses on his temple, massaging his hips to ease the stress. Fuck, he
didn't like seeing Jeongguk this way, and he wanted nothing more to pull out, but Jeongguk
wasn't letting him.

He tightened his legs around Taehyung's waist, a broken moan slipping out of both their lips
when Taehyung plunged in deeper into his heat. The older trailed kisses down his jaw and
into the crook of his neck, trying to calm him down.

"F-feel so full, hyung," Jeongguk whimpered, words wavering as Taehyung bucked his lips
forward slowly, making him cry out softly. "Suh-so full."
"I l-like it— mhn, like your c-cock," The younger babbled, eyes glossed over with this
fucked-out daze that made Taehyung's stomach twist in adoration.

"You do?" He asked, voice gravely as he rolled his hips into him, Jeongguk's airy moans
tickling his ear while he sucked a hickey on the side of his neck.

Jeongguk nodded eagerly, pulling him impossibly closer, to feel more of him inside. "T-think
I like your c-cock more, hyung."

"Really now?" The older chuckled deeply, pulling back to get a look at his princess's face. He
pushed aside his sweaty fringe, throat rumbling at the way the younger leaned into his touch
automatically.

"Mhm," Jeongguk kissed his inner wrist. "I-it's okay now, by the way. You can move."

"Alright," Taehyung said, "but you have to be quiet, too. Don't want anyone to hear us,
right?" Again, another nod, prompting Taehyung to continue.

His hands flew to the sides of Jeongguk's waist, clamping down at the fair flesh while he
pulled his hips closer to him. He thrusted carefully at first, fascinated by how fast Jeongguk
came undone below him and was a mess of mumbled curses and moans.

It was beautiful, how Jeongguk's lips slacked open, those lewd, pretty sounds tumbling off
his swollen mouth and intertwining with the squelch of the older's cock fucking into him.

Found it gorgeous how Jeongguk's brow furrowed, and he bit on his lip as he tried to hold a
moan back but eventually failed when Taehyung hit the right spot. The spot that made his
body convulse, a wave of pleasure pulling him under.

Beneath the orange glow, Taehyung grabbed onto Jeongguk's hips, bucking his hips into his
pretty hole, the steady drag of bare skin on skin setting his nerves on fire.

The symphony of skin smacking against one another intertwined with the younger's sniffles
and moans teetering on the edge of another blissful sob.

He got onto his knees, pounding his hips into the younger, deeper, easily slamming into his
prostate. Jeongguk's eyes nearly rolled into the back of his head, mouth hanging open,
gasping, sputtering, splitting apart with every staggered sound.

It was obscene, and Taehyung found himself wanting more, wanting to hear more. He leaned
down, feeling Jeongguk's legs curl tight around him, ankles digging into his back but the pain
didn't matter— nothing else mattered.

He knew Jeongguk was probably close, and with every calculated snap of his hips, he was
edging him to his orgasm.

Jeongguk was sobbing again, words strung together in between a mess of moans and praises
about how massive he was, or how his cock made him so full.
Taehyung knew he couldn't be any louder than he was, so he swooped down, connecting his
mouth with his. He didn't care how clumsy it was because in the end, their lips fit together
like pieces of a fucking puzzle. Their noses bumped, teeth clashing, and tongues a fucking
wet mess of pushing and curling.

He drank every moan, every throaty sob, wanting more and desperate to get Jeongguk to
release, for his own was building, nearing the peak of his climax.

"Close now, princess," Taehyung mumbled against his mouth before silencing him with yet
another kiss. Jeongguk cried, muffled against Taehyung's lips as he tasted his salty tears.

The knot in his lower stomach squeezed, and fuck, the fatigue was catching up to him,
making his thighs clench and hips stutter. His stamina was wearing out as he relentlessly
snapped his hips into Jeongguk, his cries driving him to finish.

"H-hyung I- hhn," Jeongguk gasped, disconnecting their lips with a lewd pop as Taehyung
muttered tired praises into his ear. "Fuck I-I'm—,"

And he did, coming and back arching off the bed as his fingers dug roughly into Taehyung's
skin. The younger sobbed from overstimulation while the older's hand wrapped around his
length and milked him of his cum.

He kissed him, muffling the noise, too exhausted as his hips bucked for a final time, white
ribbons filling the inside of Jeongguk's puckered hole. Taehyung moaned into Jeongguk's
moan, hips stuttering with one last spasmodic thrust, spilling the rest of his cum into him.

Jeongguk, on the otherhand, trembled, body spent and completely fucked-out. He threw his
head back, breathing heavily as Taehyung pumped the last of his cum onto his abs.

When it was over, Taehyung pulled out of him (it was a bit gross, for his cum was leaking
from his hole) and flopped onto the space beside Jeongguk, attempting to catch his breath.
Fuck, everything ached, and he was already falling, hard, from the rush of his orgasm.

"That," Taehyung licked his lips, "was amazing."

"I don't think I'm gonna be able to walk," Jeongguk murmured, voice so soft it was barely a
whisper.

"Shut up," The older wrapped his arm around his waist, pulling the younger closer to him as
he nuzzled his face in the side of his neck.

"You destroyed my ass," The younger muttered, letting the older pull him into his embrace.
He shivered, letting Taehyung tease the sensitive skin on his neck with his teeth before
leaving another hickey just for kicks.

"And you took my virginity," Taehyung hummed, blowing against the blossoming bruise.
"Thought I'd fulfill all your dreams, hm?"

"By destroying my ass to the point I can't walk?"

"If you put it like that, it sounds weird," Taehyung chuckled, trying to move his legs to
entangle with the youngers but his hips simply screamed no.

God, his thighs burned and so did his lower back; even his dick was aching but not
in that way. Maybe going for two rounds wasn't such a great idea, but he didn't regret it.

Honestly, he didn't regret this at all.

"Ah, I'm sticky," Jeongguk sighed, reaching over for a tissue to wipe off the mess from their
bodies. But before he could prop himself onto his elbows, he winced.

"Fuck, Tae. My ass hurts," He whined in a whisper. The older merely chuckled, snatching the
tissue from him and cleaning the both of them up for each other.

When all of that was settled (bit awkward since he had to watch Jeongguk finger the cum out
of his asshole), Taehyung wrapped his arms around the younger, pulling his naked body close
to his own along with his duvet.

He sighed, burying his nose into the soft, bruise littered dip of Jeongguk's shoulder, letting
his legs tangle with his despite the burn of his lower half. Their bodies reeked of sweat and
sex, but that was another problem for later.

But now, he was exhausted, craving the feeling of Jeongguk's body against his and hold him
tight.

"Specs?" Jeongguk twisted around so that they were facing one another. The older hummed,
letting his head lean against the pillow.

"I didn't hear you say yeehaw."

"Fuck off," Taehyung flicked his bare arm, rolling his eye at the way the younger snickered.
Jeongguk, on the otherhand, rested his head over his chest.

They stayed like that, for a while. Taehyung already shut off the lamp, content listening to
their heavy rise and fall of their breathing as he ran his fingers through Jeongguk's overgrown
locks. Jeongguk was busy connecting the moles he found on his body.

"Can I ask you another question?" He lifted his chin up, a crooked smile sitting lopsided on
his pretty, kiss-swollen lips. Taehyung raised an eyebrow at him, pulling the boy closer.

"Would it be inappropriate to ask you to write me a detailed essay on how it felt to lose your
virginity to me?"

"One more word and I'm going to kick you out and make you sleep naked in the hallway,"
Taehyung rolled his eyes, not in the mood to deal with his ridiculousness.

"Jeez, okay," Jeongguk giggled, nose scrunching cutely as he flicked the bottom of
Taehyung's chin. He snuggled closer to the older, exhaling softly.

"If I'm bad will you fuck me again~?"

"Can you not," he groaned, eyelids already heavy with exhaustion. The younger sighed,
patting his chest in surrender as he finally went silent.

"Hey psst— Taehyung?"

"What now, princess?" He sighed, carding his fingers through the tangle of the younger's hair.
His eyes were already shut, voice thick with the need for some sleep after so much physical
activity.

"M'happy I met you," Jeongguk said, voice small. "I really do appreciate you, and I know
you're so much more than a fuck..."

"Mm," But Taehyung was already asleep the moment Jeongguk mumbled those last three
words into his ear.
 questions & literally no answers

♡♡♡

Jeongguk was absolutely clueless where they stood relationship wise.

It probably wasn't often that two best friends cuddled naked and had mind-blowing sex.

That wasn't very friendly of them, so of course, it left him pretty fucking confused when he
woke up to exacty that and the memories of last night tattooed to his mind. Along with that,
the two of them reeked of sex, and if he moved, his entire lower half was so sore it burned.

To make matters worse, Taehyung didn't seem to mind that 'hey, we fucked! what does that
make us?' while he clung to Jeongguk's naked abdomen, cheek nuzzled against his heart. It
was cute, but Jeongguk wasn't sure why it bothered him until now.

Well, probably it was because everything usually made sense around Taehyung up to this
point. It was easy, and things weren't complicated, but now it was one big 'what the fuck'
moment.

Seriously. What the fuck.

"Hi there," Taehyung stirred, thick vowels lathered with sleep as he stretched slightly in the
younger's embrace. But he guessed Taehyung regretted it because he winced, hand clutching
his lowerback.

"Hurts?" Jeongguk mumbled, finding it adorable how the older's features were always
slightly puffy whenever he woke up. Taehyung nodded.

"Everything does," He muttered, pulling away from the younger, teeth gritting as he flopped
onto his back. "Frick. I'm sore everywhere."

"Same here. Your dick is massive, Specs. My ass is gonna be numb for days," The younger
grumbled.

"Luckily I'm not playing any time soon." He added in a whisper, glad it wasn't his knee at
least.

"W-Well your's is really thick! I think you loosened my ass up to the point of no return."
Where was this conversation even going?
"You fucked my ass to the point of no return," the younger snorted, wincing as he propped
himself up with the aid of his forearm.

"You're a virgin, but you were rough."

That was true— Jeongguk did not expect any of that. He was ready to make fun of Taehyung,
for the guy missed his lips when they first kissed. But all of those jokes went out the window
the second the older practically rammed his cock into him.

Kim Taehyung, or well, Specs, fucking railed him.

Fuck, Jeongguk was delirious the entire time. It caught him off guard; he wasn't even
prepared! Sure, it was pretty hot, but still. The monster he created (unleashed?) was
unbelievable.

"Rough? That was rough for you?" Taehyung merely chuckled, staring up at the younger,
who flashed him a crooked smirk. "Mm, on second thought, I guess so because you were
crying."

"Shut up," Jeongguk flicked his chin. "But you felt good. I think I'm favoring your dick over
your ass now."

"Oh? Is that so?" The older grinned, wiggling his eyebrows at him as his hands ran down the
smooth ridges of his toned arms.

Jeongguk nodded, reaching over and teasing squeezing his friend's ass. Were they even
friends anymore?

"Mm, it's a close tie," He said thoughtfully, giving his heavenly ass another squeeze just for
kicks. The older smacked his chest, rolling his eyes at him yet again.

"Hey, Jeongguk," Taehyung's fingers traced down his arms and to the dip of his hip bone,
outlining all kinds of shapes. "I have another gift for you."

"Really? If it's a kiss, I gotta deny you on that one," He said, leaning back joking, nose
scrunched in mock disgust.

"You smell like sex, dried cum, and morning breath, Specs."

"So do you," He said, brows furrowing. "But that's not what I was gonna propose."

"Then what? Brushing our teeth? Could use that."

"Gguk, of course we're gonna brush our teeth," The older sighed, rolling his eyes again at the
younger's ridiculousness. "But first, can you walk?"

"I can aggressively attempt to limp," Jeongguk raised an eyebrow at him. "Why? Are you
gonna leave me now, bun?" He teased, missing the way Taehyung's smile fell a litte at the
edges.
"No, I was just wondering," God, he found it hot how the older captured his bottom lip
between his teeth. It drove him crazy (not like that) how he teased at the plush skin while he
was thinking.

"If you wanna take a bath with me?"

Oh. "Are you kidding me?" Jeongguk's eyes widened, watching the older shyly turn his head
the other way, failing to hide the way his cheeks flushed a rosy red.

"Who are you, and what have you done with my Specs?" He asked, reaching over and
brushing his palm down the side of Taehyung's neck where dark purples and red bruises
cluttered the tanned skin.

"Did the hickies I made cut off your blood circulation?"

"M'just saying," Taehyung blushed, swatting his hand away when Jeongguk curiously pressed
down on one of his creations. "Thought it would be nice."

"It would be," Jeongguk hummed. "I mean, I already saw you naked and had your dick in
me. I would very much appreciate a bath."

"Don't forget you came in me too!"

"You're annoying," The older sat up, groaning lowly as he grabbed a pillow and hit Jeongguk
across the stomach with it. "C'mon. Let's grab some clothes, and make a run for it."

"Awh how scandalous. We're sneaking off to the bathroom to bathe naked together~."
Jeongguk winked at the older and followed after him, though he moved slow, hips and lower
back stinging with every hastened movement.

The two managed to limp around Taehyung's room, getting some clothes before their bath
together. They covered their lower regions with their clothes, and with their free hands,
intertwined them as Taehyung led them outside the bedroom.

It was the rush of adrenaline that made Jeongguk's heart soar, and the look of pure fear on
Taehyung's features as he tugged him along. Jeongguk snorted, struggling to keep himself
from laughing when the two of them limped quickly to the bathroom.

He guessed it was moments like these, where his stomach was fluttering with butterflies and
his lips ached from smiling too long, that made everything feel easy. Feel like this was meant
to be happening.

Taehyung's death glares and his little wobble made his chest swell with this particular
fondness he couldn't quite define except that he knew it made him happy.

Everything about Specs made him happy.

From the way Taehyung shushed him and squeaked when he nearly lost his footing, to the
way Taehyung muttered 'frick' when he nearly dropped his only cover keeping his dignity in
tact.
Taehyung was the definition of his happy.

Eventually they made it into the bathroom. He shut the door quietly behind them, locking the
thing, and when they finally met in the center of the tiled space, they burst into laughter.

It was good kind; the absolute best. The kind that made your tummy all light and at the same
time made your lungs squeeze and eyes squint to the point you could barely see shit.

The one where no noise was made except occasional squeaks that sounded like a windshield
wiper.

"M'gonna start the bath. Brush your teeth loser," The older snickered, setting their clothes on
the counter before limping to the white tub sitting beneath a window pouring sunlight into the
room.

Jeongguk obeyed the older and went to brushing his teeth so he could kiss him properly
without having the impulse to gag (morning breath was gross). Though, he was a bit scared,
brushing his teeth here.

Specs's bathroom was completely white. More like it was aesthetically pleasing.

Behind the sink was a mirror that stretched to the ceiling, giving them an entire view of the
bathroom. Besides the cool tub was the massive shower and toilet. There were real plants in
hanging pots and succulents on the window sill.

Jeongguk had to share his bathroom with annoying sisters, which typically made their place
all messy, but because Taehyung was the only kid, it was the opposite for him. He didn't want
to ruin it.

"Can I tell you a fact?" Taehyung returned to him after making sure the water was warm. The
soft pitter patter of water against the tub filled the room and a light fog embraced them with
heat.

"The fact that you're absolutely gorgeous? Because I already knew that," Jeongguk teased,
washing out his mouth before turning around and slipping his palm over the side of
Taehyung's bare hip.

"Are you just saying that 'cuz I'm naked?" He raised an eyebrow at him, toothbrush in his
mouth making his words all muffled.

"Maybe?" He chuckled, squeezing his side. "M'just kidding, Specs. Now brush your teeth. I
wanna get into the tub already."

"Jeez," Taehyung shook his head, finishing what he was doing before returning the rest of his
attention to the younger. "Eager today, aren't you?"

"Mm. And sore," Jeongguk leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to the side of his neck, both
of his hands running down the curve of his waist then sliding down until he grasped the thick
globes of his cheeks.
"Hey, no," The older removed his hands from his ass, pining them way. "No sex. We're just
gonna sit in the tub, wash each other's hair, and chat, okay?"

"Fine, mood killer," He pulled his wrists away, holding them up in defense. "What was the
fact you were gonna tell me then?" He asked, letting the older guide him to the tub.

"That you," Taehyung chuckled, gesturing at the younger to go in first after shutting the water
off and adding bubbles that smelled like peaches.

"Are the biggest bottom to ever secretly exist."

"Hey, I told you I was crying because of shock!" The younger defended, easing himself into
the tub. He instantly sighed when the hot water collided with his tense muscles, the sensation
easing him.

"Still. I like you when you're a bottom," Taehyung giggled, climbing into the tub when the
younger was situated. He sat himself between his legs, leaning against his chest.

"You're kinda whiny, and at the same time, cute."

"Wanna hear another fact?" The younger mumbled, the two of them sighing in unison while
the hot water did its job relieving their sore limbs.

"I know you said no sex, but your ass against my dick is making this very, very difficult." At
that, the older snorted.

"Well I'm not gonna grind on you," Taehyung teased, guiding Jeongguk's arms around his
waist, inhaling shallowly. "I like this. You feel nice."

"Do I?" Jeongguk laughed softly into the younger's ear, his nose nuzzling against the side of
his cheek. "I didn't think I would."

"Why? 'Cos you're all mighty, mean, and muscular?" The older chuckled warmly, leaning his
neck back, feeling the other's lips graze his jaw.

"Maybe? Dunno," He hummed, sliding his palm up the older's thigh while the other scooped
some water and poured it down his neck. Jeongguk swallowed, watching him visibly shiver.

"Y'know, this is the first time I've ever done this with someone," Jeongguk said in a matter of
fact way, gulping back the lump in his throat.

"Guess I can be your first in something nice, right?" Taehyung said, breath hitching in his
throat as the younger's hands run up and down the slope of his body.

"Guess so," He agreed, grabbing some body wash off the side and drizzling some on his
hand. Jeongguk continued to gently massage in the soap onto his soft skin, inhaling the sweet
scent of flowers.

"Can I ask a question?" The younger nodded. "Who did you have your first time with?"
He raised an eyebrow, "You really wanna know that?" The memory was a bit vague in his
mind since it had been a while, but he wasn't very ashamed of it. Just a bit embarrassed.

"Sure. We can just ask each other random questions. I'm in the mood to figure out your
deepest darkest secrets," Taehyung chuckled, leaning into him more as the younger massaged
his tense thighs.

"Well, it was a girl. I turned sixteen, and everyone else I knew had sex, so I guessed I would
try it out and figure what the hype was," Jeongguk said, wincing at the old memory.

God, he was a cringey kid back in the days. He was pretty average and was addicted to junk
food and video games. All he cared about was volleyball, he had acne, and girls at the time
didn't really matter for he didn't truly understand his sexuality.

He felt bad, to be honest, for the girl he lost his virgnity too. And he felt sorry for himself for
doing it with someone he wasn't even dating. He imagined if it would have been different—
if he didn't lose it to her due to peer pressure.

If that never happened, maybe he could have lost his virginity to Taehyung. It might have felt
better, and he supposed it would hold a greater meaning.

Not that last night was meaningless— everything about that evening meant more than the
world.

"Was the hype worth it?" Taehyung asked, gliding his gentle touch up and down Jeongguk's
thighs while the younger massaged at the kinks in his shoulders.

"I didn't know what to do with myself, or how to even pleasure someone else," Jeongguk
admitted, feeling his cheeks heat up, and not because of the room. He ran his hands down
Taehyung's shoulders and leaned forward, kissing the dip where they met his neck.

"T'was very embarassing," He chuckled against the older's tanned skin. "I came too early, and
I don't think she even got an orgasm. It was a whole mess."

"That sounds awful," Taehyung laughed, the sweet sound rumbling in his chest. "We all start
somewhere, I guess."

"I regret it," The younger blurted out. He was glad Taehyung wasn't looking at him, for he
wasn't so sure if he could keep himself from confessing everything he felt right then.

"I wish I would have lost it to somebody I cared about, you know," Jeongguk hummed,
trailing kisses up the side of his neck as Taehyung tilted his head to the side. Wished I could
have lost it to you.

"Everything happens for a reason," Taehyung told him, slipping his hand behind him, fingers
grazing the side of Jeongguk's neck while the younger's hands wrapped around his waist.

"I gave mine to someone important, and that person was you. Then we had mindblowing sex
because you had some practice before me," He giggled, nose scrunching when Jeongguk
lightly tickled his side.
"Don't say it like that," Jeongguk mumbled, leaning the side of his head against Taehyung's,
parted lips brushing behind the shell of his ear. "Can we change the subject?"

"Hm, how about we talk about volleyball?" The older mused. "You have a couple more
games when we get back, then a tournament. You better not get injured before that."

"I don't wanna talk about volleyball." I wanna talk about us. What we are. Are we together?

"Well, how about animals? I haven't showed you my pet hamster, or my turtle downstairs!"
Taehyung gushed, leaning his head back to get a glimpse of the younger's features. When he
saw he wasn't smiling, the grin he wore faltered.

"What's wrong?" He asked, reaching up to touch the side of his cheek, tilting his head so that
he was staring down at him.

"Nothing," He lied, unsure why when his thoughts plagued his mind and not having an
answer when he looked at Taehyung nearly drove him insane.

"I was just thinking about how pretty you are."

"Sap," Taehyung rolled his eyes, letting the younger proceed to rub flower scented shampoo
in his hair. "I think you're pretty too. Not just naked. I think you're pretty when you play."

"I appreciate the compliment, Specs," Jeongguk murmured, staring at the suds building on his
thin fingers, making Taehyung's hair stick up in random places.

"Can I ask you something else?" The older hummed. Jeongguk nodded. "What would you be
if you weren't going to be a volleyball player?"

"Mm, I haven't thought of that before. I've never put much thought into it," He said in a
matter of fact way. At least he was thinking about it know instead of all that confusing shit
about his best friend (that would be a headache for later).

"I can't picture my life without volleyball, to be honest with you Specs," Jeongguk said,
chuckling a little as he washed out the suds. "I've never thought to come up with a plan two."

"Well, I can see why. There's no need to," Taehyung said softly. "You're gonna play in the
Olympics, beat everyone, and get a gold medal!"

"That's the plan, yeah," Jeongguk nodded, sighing as he finished cleaning up the older.
Taehyung sat up, hands gripping on the edge of the tub while he attempted to turn around,
water sloshing everywhere.

"What are you doing?!" The younger frowned, grabbing the older's thighs to steady him as he
sat over his lap. He tried not to focus on the fact he was sitting on his dick— this wasn't the
right time.

"Gonna wash you now," Taehyung declared, grabbing the shampoo he used. "Okay, another
question. What other things do you do besides volleyball? You can't just tell me that's all you
do."
"Oh," Jeongguk leaned his head forward, eyes falling shut as Taehyung's nimble fingers ran
through his hair, massaging at his scalp. "Well, I paint."

"Ooh, so you're an art hoe, too. I see," He chuckled softly, rectangular grin lighting up his
features while he played with Jeongguk's hair and tried to make it stick up in funny shapes.

"Not really. My dad got me into it before my mom decided to introduce me to volleyball. It
seems that we aren't close, but we are," He found himself telling him without much
hesitation.

"I used to never leave his side, actually. He helped me with my studying habits, and I listened
to him lecture when he used to teach," He whispered, words drifting off at the faint
memories.

At this point, he knew there wasn't a reason to hold back. It came natural— the truth—
whenever he was around him. It was difficult to come up with some lie when every part of
him didn't want to hide around the older.

He wanted to be authentic as he could possibly be. After all, Taehyung was real, very much
real, and that was so fucking rare to stumble across a truly beautiful person inside and out.

Jeongguk wanted to be like that: a genuine person.

He didn't want to lie to Taehyung like he did with the others. In fact, Taehyung wasn't like the
others.

He was the last beautiful thing left in this world, and there was no way Jeongguk was going
to let anything, or anyone, ruin that for him.

"I used to paint scenery? Yeah, and some abstract too. I had all these brushes and acrylic, and
I guess it was fun while it lasted," Jeongguk shrugged, though the memories were rather
vague.

"Maybe I can pull out my old skills to cover up those hickies. Got any concealer?" He teased,
earning a slap to the chest. He shook his head, laughing out.

"What do you do besides being a nerd?"

At that, the older playfully smacked his chest again. Jeongguk simply snickered, tilting his
head upward and pecking his perfect lips.

"Hmm, I garden. Read books. I worked in the farm for a while," Taehyung combed his
fingers through his hair. "Then I stopped and realized that wasn't for me."

"Then what is for you?" Jeongguk asked, running his fingers up the delicate curves of
Taehyung's hips to the thick expanse of his spread-out, golden thighs.

"Never really figured it out, to be honest. I thought I did. Thought I wanted to pursue
business and be some cool CEO," He murmured, washing out the last of the bubbles in
Jeongguk's hair.
"Let's say I don't know what to do with my life."

"Well, let's start with the things you like," Jeongguk suggested. "You have all the time to
decide." He squeezed Taehyung's hips, staring up at him with an assuring, lopsided smile.

"I like animals, and kids. I like stars. Stars are pretty too. The little stars in your eyes are
particularly my favorite," He mused, leaning into Jeongguk's touch as the younger slipped his
palm over the side of his cheek.

"I played saxophone! That was an experience," He chuckled, voice softening along with his
hooded gaze while Jeongguk ran his thumb over the bow of his lips.

"You played saxophone? That's hot," Jeongguk teased. "That's a lot of blowing. No wonder
you can suck my dick good, Specs."

"What? No! I sucked at saxophone," Taehyung's features flushed that pretty rose color that
made the younger's heart prickle. "Ew, don't be weird."

He muttered, tucking his hair behind his ear, a habit Jeongguk observed that only surfaced
when he was all shy like this. Jeongguk guided Taehyung's face down, soaking in how his
nose was cutely scrunched, his cheeks felt warm beneath his touch, and the way his wet hair
framed his gentle features.

Perfect. Taehyung was absolutely perfect.

"I don't know. I feel weird 'coz kids our age are supposed to have it all figured out, but I don't.
I know I wanna go to university, but I just... I haven't found my passion like you," His voice
was tiny, adam's apple bobbing nervously.

"It's okay not to have it all figured out," Jeongguk said in a matter of fact way, stroking the
older's cheek.

"Says you," Taehyung pouted. "You got it all covered. You're going to school in Seoul for a
fullride, and you have a spot waiting for you on the Japan team. At the same time, you're
heading to the Olympics."

"That's not the point, Specs," Jeongguk sighed, gently squeezing his cheeks together,
chuckling a little at the death glare Taehyung shot at him.

"M'saying that you'll figure it out. You don't just get to decide what your passion is. Your
passion comes to you, and suddenly you'll find yourself wanting to pursue it for your entire
life," He murmured.

"Look at me, Taehyung," Jeongguk whispered. The older chewed his lip, hesitantly tilting his
head back down to meet the younger's soft stare.

"Jeongguk," The older shook his head, inhaling slowly. "I-It's not easy. I'm not asking you to
pity me, or feel bad— it's just, I don't like to fail. I know you don't either."
"And, I'm," Taehyung paused, leaning into the younger's touch, "just afraid of failing others.
It's stupid, I know."

"Didn't say it was stupid at all, bun," Jeongguk murmured, running his fingers down the
curve of his jaw. "You're not stupid." I know how it feels.

"But it is! I-I don't know why I feel like I have to prove something to people. They're just
mean, and rude, and judgmental, but it shouldn't matter. I should do what makes me happy,
but I'm scared. Scared if I don't do enough, they'll... reject me," His voice trembled.

"All my life, Jeongguk, people rejected me," The older said numbly, breathing uneven as his
eyes began to water. "I didn't have friends for a while. I was alone. Felt like
the world rejected me."

"I'm terrified people will leave if I don't give them a reason to stay," Taehyung sniffled. "If
I'm not good enough, they'll reject me just like everyone else."

"M'never going to reject you," Jeongguk brought him close, leaning his forehead against his.
"I told you. There are people who are temporary, and me? I'm permanent. I wanna be
permanent until you're tired of me, Specs."

"I-I'll never get tired of you," He mumbled, and when Jeongguk pulled back, he noticed a
heavy smile struggling to hold on his lips. "You're more than enough. You existing is the
reason I stay."

"I'm permanent, baby," He hummed, pressing a lingering kiss beneath both of his eyes. "I'll
support whatever you choose as your passion, and I'll be there to help you chase it. I'll never
reject you."

"Really?" Taehyung asked, leaning back, his eyes glazed with tears. Jeongguk nodded,
patting his cheek before pressing a slow kiss to his lips.

"I told you you're my always," Jeongguk mumbled, smiling against his mouth. "Be my
always."

Be my boyfriend.

"Y-You're too nice. Can you be mean to me again?" Taehyung grumbled, rolling his eyes
while the younger let out a throaty laugh and pushed him back. "Liked it better that way."

"Oh did you? Well, then," the younger cleared his throat, letting go of the older and pushing
him away much to the confusion on his face.

"Don't think I'm softening up for you because I'm not. I'd never fall for you," He pretended to
snap, lathering his words with false bitterness.

"You're an idiot Porky." I'm an idiot for you, Specs.

Taehyung's expression fell in seconds. "Okay n-never mind. B-Be nice again please," He
whispered ever so softly, hands grabbing at the younger to get him back.
"God, Specs, I'm sorry. That was too much," He sighed, pulling the older in close, wrapping
his arms around Taehyung and letting him rest his head on his shoulder, body hunched over
him.

"Fuck, I was too mean. I don't mean that," Panic began to rise in Jeongguk's throat, shakily
coiling itself around his neck, threatening to suffocate him.

"I know you don't," Taehyung mumbled against his bare shoulder. "I don't know how I'd feel
if you weren't my person."

"Your person? Possessive," Jeongguk teased, trying to ease the mood (and his own stress).
The older reeled back, his big palms cupping either side of Jeongguk's face.

"No you dummy, I'm being serious. You're not my best friend anymore," He declared,
running his thumbs over the curve of Jeongguk's cheek. "You're now my designated person."

I'd rather be your boyfriend. Make you mine, he wanted to say, but he bit at his lip, unsure
how he was going to break this to Taehyung just yet. Fuck, he never had this thought before
— what should he do?

"Is that an upgrade?" He asked, cocking an eyebrow up at him, trying to play it cool.
Taehyung nodded.

"Tell me how I'm your 'person', Specs." He whispered, his hands running down the older's
smooth back.

"Enlighten me with that sexy brain of yours."

"Okay, one, don't say sexy. And two, I can't with you," His heart fluttered, watching a bright,
boxy smile break across Taehyung's lips.

"Of course you can. You deal with me everyday," Jeongguk lightly smacked his ass, smirking
up at him when his face flushed a deeper shade of pink. "C'mon, tell me. I'm listening."

"Fine. Well, you're my person 'cuz you're my go to for everything," He explained, gaze
scrutinizing him carefully, as if he was trying to get beneath all his layers, unraveling him—
and Jeongguk let him.

"Somebody you can't imagine living without, the person you can't stay mad at, somebody
who won't ever abandon you, and the person that supports you in everything that you do,"
Taehyung ran his thumb over Jeongguk's lips.

"That's you for me. I can't imagine not being with you. I can't stay mad at you even though
you piss me off sometimes," He chuckled, eyes fluttering shut when Jeongguk impulsively
kissed his cheek.

"Then what are we, Tae?" Jeongguk asked, reeling back to get a look at his gentle features,
softened by the moment. Fuck, nothing else mattered but this moment; not even the fact the
water was all lukewarm and kinda cold.
"You support me, and you make me so fricking happy. When you were gone, I was scared
you left me, but you came back," Taehyung said, "You came back to me."

"I'll always come back to you," Jeongguk's chest swelled, his heart practically in his throat.
"Don't think I can leave you temporarily." At that, they leaned against eachother's foreheads,
giggling.

"So," He finally said, swallowing as he pulled back, breath wavering as Jeongguk's hands
settled on the dips of his tanned hips. This was it. This was what he was going to do.

"Taehyung, please be my boyf—,"

"—Be my person, Jeongguk."

Taehyung interrupted him before he could hear what he said. Jeongguk tried to hide the
embarrassment making his face burn, and luckily it wouldn't be suspicious.

Fuck, he was so close, but that didn't seem to matter because Taehyung looked happy. Maybe
another time, but for now, he was content. Content being his person. Actually, fuck that— he
was more than ecstatic to be his person.

"Okay," Jeongguk nodded, shifting Taehyung on his lap, bringing him closer as he firmly
gripped his thighs. He leaned his back, staring up at his beautiful Taehyung, smiling so
fucking wide it hurt.

"I'll be your person as long as you're my always," He said, knowing how sappy it was, but he
knew the older was a sucker for it. Taehyung chuckled, nose scrunching before leaning down.

"Always," Taehyung chuckled, lips hovering above the younger's. Jeongguk shook his head,
knowing how whipped he was for this boy.

"Always," He mumbled before closing the distance between them, wanting nothing more but
to kiss Taehyung—

"Hey sweetie, I got this new shamp— oh shit."

Taehyung and Jeongguk scrambled apart, water flying everywhere as they realized Siwon just
walked into them, naked and kissing. Jeongguk wanted to drown himself as Taehyung kinda
shoved him into the tub, trying to act natural while at the same time, trying to hide him.

"I can still see Jeongguk, Tae," Siwon crossed his arms over his chest, and Jeongguk slowly
craned his neck to see his reaction, ready to have his dick cut off and probably get himself
murdered at the same time.

"Hey dad," Taehyung said awkwardly, scratching the side of his neck. "Since when did you
get back?"

"A bit ago, but I can see you two are busy," Siwon hummed. Jeongguk swallowed, closing
his eyes and praying his death would be quick and easy.
"It wasn't Jeongguk's idea," The older blurted out. Siwon raised an eyebrow at him. "It was
mine. I asked him to take a bath with me."

"Really. I didn't think you'd be the frisky one here," Siwon cracked a grin, but that wasn't
enough to ease his palpitating heart. "Well, this would be a whole different scenario if
Taehyung was a girl."

"I know Mr. Kim," Jeongguk mumbled, face on fire.

"But luckily, he's a boy. Boys don't get pregnant, so I suppose I'll give a pass on this one,"
Both of them exhaled in unison, thankful that today wasn't going to be their last day on this
planet. "However, next time, I want you to properly lock the door."

"We will," Taehyung said, nodding eagerly for his dad to get out. "S-Sorry you had to see
this."

"Oh, you're lucky boys that it wasn't Warren who discovered you! I won't tell him anything,
don't worry. Breakfast is downstairs when you decide you're done," Siwon waved at them,
winking at his son before locking the door and exiting out.

"I think my heart fell out of my ass," Jeongguk whispered, the two of them staring at one
another in silence.

Neither one of them said anything, so still the water around them didn't dare ripple. Jeongguk
gulped, hoping Taehyung didn't hate him or anything.

Then suddenly, Taehyung was laughing, his laughter bubbling out of his chest, and soon
enough his own laughter mirrored his own. As embarassing as that was, he knew deep down,
it wouldn't have been the same if it wasn't his Taehyung. His person.

The boy he wanted to make his boyfriend.

♡♡♡

The week gone by faster than Taehyung could comprehend, and to be honest, it left him even
more disappointed because Jeongguk was leaving without him.

After the fiasco in the bathroom, they awkwardly went down to breakfast with Siwon and
Warren. It wasn't bad with Siwon, but Taehyung could tell that Jeongguk was squirming
around Warren's presence. They were lucky Warren didn't catch them, though he knew
Warren wasn't a violent guy.
Made it funny to see Jeongguk obey both of his dads, acting extra polite and speaking in a
highly formal dialect just to make up for the bathtub accident.

Eventually that wore off, and Siwon felt bad and pulled Jeongguk aside to wash dishes in the
kitchen, leaving Warren and Taehyung alone in the dining room, eating their breakfast.

"I like Jeongguk," Warren admitted before taking a sip from his Mickey Mouse coffee mug.
Taehyung glanced up from his plate, both of his eyebrows raised at his second dad.

"You do?" Taehyung said, heart fluttering in his chest. Even though he knew it was
impossible not to like Jeongguk, but every fiber of his being wanted his dads to approve of
him. Why? He didn't know, but it mattered to him.

"He's a good kid. You two are good together, and you clearly make one another happy.
Treasure that boy, Tae," Warren reached over and patted his hand.

"If he breaks your heart, I'll give him the talk."

"He won't," Taehyung chuckled, squeezing his dad's hand. "Love you, papa." Warren rolled
his eyes, but the warm smile on his lips said otherwise.

When Jeongguk and Siwon came back, he noticed that the younger seemed to be less fidgety
than he was before entering the kitchen. Taehyung opened his mouth to ask if he was okay,
but the younger silenced him with a forehead kiss.

From there, everything else was perfect.

Since Jeongguk was going to miss Taehyung's 18th birthday, they decided to spend every day
doing something to make up for it. They biked along the Daegu country side even though the
air nipped their skin with frost and colored their skin red— it was still amazing to be out
together no matter the weather.

Taehyung showed him all of his pets, gushing over every pet's backstory and making sure
Jeongguk was holding them properly with the utmost care. He threatened to break his arms if
he dropped his pet hamster, Mochi, and if he scared Mr. Sheldon, he would pop his
volleyballs.

They were all empty threats, but it was cute seeing the younger hold Mochi carefully in his
palms, cooing at the litte creature, and gently stroke the belly of Mr. Sheldon. He was careful,
delicate with every one of his movements.

All of it made Taehyung's heart all light and gushy; felt cliche, but he didn't mind it. He
always wanted to be in some cliche film or a book like those nerd and badboy tropes, and it
humored him since this somewhat reminded him of one.

Besides the bike rides, they went to Taehyung's grandparents' farm. He showed him the goats
and chickens, and hand in hand, he gave him a tour through the strawberry patches. They
even flew kites (it kinda failed though).
Jeongguk listened to him babble on and on, before he tackled him and shut him up in the
strawberry field. Next thing he knew, they were making out on the frosty ground surrounded
by strawberry plants, but did he complain? Nope.

As their days dwindled, they tried to make their nights last longer. Warren and Siwon gave
them privacy on evenings, giving them the house as they traveled to Taehyung's grandparents
to help around and drink some wine (the usual adult stuff).

They started the fireplace, grabbed some pillows, got mugs of hot chocolate and cuddled in
front of the fire. Siwon and Warren usually never returned, for they always called that they're
too drunk to take the bikeride home, so Jeongguk and Taehyung were left alone.

It wasn't bad— Siwon and Warren trusted them enough not to be stupid anyways. It wasn't
like Jeongguk was going to get Taehyung pregnant.

But it was amazing, staying up with Jeongguk, and the older kept teasing him for the little
mustache of whipped cream on his upper lip. He thought it was absolutely ridiculous, but
Jeongguk always rolled on top of him, nuzzling his face and getting the stupid whipped
cream all over his cheek.

The warmth of the fire seemed to embrace them closer together, coloring their skin gold and
orange, as they were wrapped up in eachother's limbs. They lounged lazily, giving each other
compliments, tracing their features beneath the flickering light.

Taehyung always found himself lost in Jeongguk. It was hard not to be. The second he stared
down at him when Jeongguk pulled him on top, his cool palms sliding beneath his sweater, it
was difficult not to be enchanted by his presence.

It was his eyes. Within them were countless, never ending universes, and he found himself
wanting to explore them, to pick out the stars, and admire every single one. Wanted to find
the constellations and call them his own, to show others after him who get to have the
privilege of loving Jeongguk to see that Taehyung was there first.

Although Taehyung gave up stargazing a long time ago, but when he was with Jeongguk, he
fell in love with it all over again.

"Read to me again," Jeongguk ran his fingers through Taehyung's newly dyed blue hair,
which Warren helped with the other day.

It was the last night before he had to leave to Busan to spend time with his own family— one
of the nights Taehyung was dreading for to end.

Jeongguk was already packed and ready to go on his train. On the otherhand, Taehyung
wasn't sure if he was ready. Part of him was selfish, wanting to keep the younger there
forever, and they could get lost together on the little farm without a care.

Of course, he wasn't delusional— nor was he dumb. Jeongguk's family was important to him,
just like how Taehyung would bend his back over for his dads, who did nothing but give him
love and support all his life.
So, he was preparing himself, mentally, to let go of Jeongguk even though this was
temporary. His heart ached thinking about it, but he tried to focus on the present. He didn't
want to imagine a future without his Jeongguk.

His person. His always.

They were reading Milk and Honey, poetry, which Jeongguk chose. He didn't know Jeongguk
liked poetry, and he supposed he was still learning things, identifying the pieces of Jeongguk
that are yet to be recovered and put together to see the whole of him.

While he thought he was close to completing the puzzle, Jeongguk always surprised him with
another handful of pieces he needed to figure out where to put.

Warren and Siwon left hours ago, and the two of them were by the fire as per usual, already
done with their hot chocolate. He was resting on Jeongguk's stomach, while the younger
stared at the ceiling, playing mindlessly with his hair.

"Continue talking," Jeongguk murmured, massaging his scalp carefully, his voice thick and
heavy. "I love listening to you speak."

"Alright," Taehyung flipped through, licking his slightly chapped lips, the taste of chocolate
still on his tongue. "How about this one?"

"he placed his hands/ on my mind/before reaching/ for my waist/my hips/ or my lips/ he
didn't call me/ beautiful first/ he called me/ exquisite," Taehyung rolled each vowel over his
tongue, slowly, edging the meaning out of every letter as his deep, leaden voice resonated
against the crackle of flames.

"Exquisite," Jeongguk hummed. "Would you like it if I called you exquisite?"

"Sounds like you're describing me like a piece of expensive art," Taehyung snorted softly,
flipping through for another poem to read before his throat would ache.

"Well you are art. I'd bet if I painted a nude portrait of you, that shit would be in the Louvre,"
Jeongguk said. He didn't have to see his face to know he was smiling.

"Sap," Taehyung pressed his thumb against the page he wanted to read. "If you quiet down,
I'll read you this one." Of course, Jeongguk went silent.

"Hey Specs?" Of course, Jeongguk always had to be the one getting in the last word. "Yeah?"

"Will you ever send me nudes?"

"Next poem," No matter how ridiculous the younger was, Taehyung couldn't stop his heart
from leaping and his stomach from twisting shameless, or the smile that seeped across his
lips.

"i do not want to have you/ to fill the empty parts of me/ i want to be full on my own/ i want
to be so complete/ i could light a whole city/ and then/ i want to have you/," Taehyung was
cut off by the younger—
"— cause the two of us combined/ could set it on fire/," He finished for him. The older sat
up, resting the poetry book on his chest as he gave the younger an incredulous look.

"What?" Jeongguk lifted an eyebrow at him as he propped himself up on his elbow. "I saw
the book was open, and I read it off of you."

"You could have let me finish. Thought you said you liked me reading," Taehyung said, voice
a little rough from reading out loud for so long. What even was the time? Jeongguk hummed.

"I do, but I want to read now," The younger declared and snatched the book from Taehyung.
He opened his mouth to argue, but Jeongguk merely shut him up with a kiss.

Without a doubt, he melted into him, and when the younger pulled away, he acted like
nothing ever seemed to had happen.

"You're a dweeb, Jeon Jeongguk," Taehyung sighed, resting his head back down on his chest.

"Correction. I am your person, and your always," At that, Taehyung guessed there was no
point in arguing and decided maybe this was a good time to take a break. He shut his eyes,
exhaling softly.

"how do you turn/ a forest fire like me/ so soft i turn into/ running water," Jeongguk's voice
was calmer, gentle, and every word seemed to slip off his tongue effortlessly.

"You remind me of one of those people who narrate nature documentaries," Taehyung
snorted. "And there, in the field sits a wild cheetah, preying on a band of wildebeast for their
nightly meal."

"Taehyung—,"

"— Ah crikey! She leapt, attacking her prey, and successfully secured her dinner," He faked a
shitty Australian accent, and it didn't quite help with his unrefined English.

"Ouch, Specs. Do you want me to stop?" Jeongguk chuckled, but the older didn't say
anything. He didn't want him to stop, so he let him go on with another.

"Ah, I like this one," Jeongguk cleared his throat. "you might not have been my first love/ but
you were the love that made/ all the other loves/irrelevant."

"Jeongguk?" The younger hummed, his fingers still twirling around Taehyung's hair. "What
did you want to be as a kid?"

"How the fuck did you get that from the poem?"

"I was just wondering," Taehyung chuckled, sitting up and turning himself over so that he
faced the younger. "I wanted to be a Barbie princess and find myself a prince to own a
unicorn and castle with."

"'Course you did," Jeongguk snorted, setting the book aside and tuckimg his arms behind his
head, propping himself up. "Did you still wanna be one?"
"What? No," He scoffed lightly, gently smacking the younger's chest. "I was a kid back then.
I know it's not possible. Now answer the question, dummy."

"Jeez, you're demanding tonight," The younger smirked lazily up at him. "Well, before I
discovered volleyball and my love for dick, I was a straight little boy thinking tits and vag
were the shit."

"Can't relate," Taehyung felt the younger's hand grab his knee, tugging his leg to come over.
He raised an eyebrow at him, but he didn't have to hear him speak to know he wanted to
cuddle. So he went.

"Okay back to my story. Thought coochie was my only option, so poor, little straight
Jeongguk went to this cafe with my other straight friends," Jeongguk hummed, arms pressing
Taehyung's body closer to his now that he was in his arms.

"The waitresses were all in bikinis."

"So, you're saying you wanted to be a dude, in a bikini, serving horny men?" Taehyung's
brows furrowed as he rested his hand over Jeongguk's chest, leaning his head against his
shoulder.

"No, I saw this guy. Pretty timid, and he refused to look at anybody else, and nobody
acknowledged him. I did though," Jeongguk murmured. "He was playing the piano.
Gorgeously."

"Ever since I saw him, I wanted to become a pianist. I wanted to play piano, but not there,"
He said, turning his head to the side, lips brushing against the older's forehead.

"You played piano?" Taehyung was genuinely surprised to hear that. The younger didn't
really look like the type to pick up an instrument.

"Failed miserably. I learned, but I was never as good as the pianist in a cafe where all the
waitresses were in booty shorts and bikini tops," Jeongguk snorted. "Does that story beat
your princess one?"

"I don't know if you're lying to me," He admitted, unable to bite back the grin dancing on his
lips. "And no. Nothing can beat my princess story."

"Oh I'm very much telling you the truth," Jeongguk squeezed his arm. "But alright. You got
me. A pianist can't beat the princess. However, I'm a volleyball player now, so bam."

"Yeah, you are," Taehyung exhaled. "Jeongguk?" Again, the younger hummed in response.

"I'm gonna miss you."

"It's only a week," Jeongguk shifted onto his side, and when he could see his face beneath the
hazy orange shadows, he noticed his brows were drawn together. "I'll text you every day."

"Yeah, but, I'll still miss you," The older murmured, reaching his hand up and cupping the
side of his cheek. "Won't be the same without you."
"I know. I don't think I can last a day there without my little sisters begging to know where
you are," He teased, leaning into Taehyung's palm. "But we'll see eachother again. I'm
permanent, remember."

"I'm that fucking annoying stain on your favorite sweater, Specs!"

"God, I hate you," Taehyung pinched his cheek, finding it adorable how the younger's cheeks
were still a little puffy with baby fat that was yet to fully melt away.

"No you don't," Jeongguk's other hand reached down, brushing against his hip bone. "Well, if
you're gonna miss me so much, how about I leave you with another gift?"

"And that is what?" Taehyung raised and eyebrow at him. Jeongguk merely smirked,
effortlessly rolling on top of him before dipping down and capturing his lips into a clumsy
kiss.

It was a bit messy and tasted faintly of sugar and hot chocolate powder, but nonetheless he
kissed him back, his hands settling on his shoulders while the younger's lips moved fluidly
over his own. When Jeongguk pulled back, Taehyung knew he was already screwed the
second he saw the twinkle in his pretty doe eyes.

"M'gonna fuck you," Jeongguk whispered, straddling Taehyung's lap. Taehyung gulped, his
own hands resting on the younger's thighs.

"But we don't have any lube, or condoms," He said, interrupted by another kiss, this time
more intense than the other as their tongues collided sloppily, getting saliva everywhere.

When Jeongguk pulled away, he shrugged, helping Taehyung out of his jumper. "Then I
guess I have to just fuck your thighs, hm?"

"Fuck my thighs?" Taehyung sputtered, feeling the younger kiss down his neck, trailing his
tongue over the fading bruises and being surprisingly gentle despite nipping at his skin.

"Mhm," Jeongguk kissed the dip of his collarbone. "C'mon, bun. Think of this as a temporary
goodbye."

"More like a temporary goodbye to my ability to walk," He rolled his eyes, helping Jeongguk
get rid of his pajama bottoms.

He tossed them aside with the rest of their clothes, and of course, he was naked, except for
Jeongguk, who still wore his oversized sweater. Somehow, for some reason this time felt
different than the last.

"It's just your thighs, baby. Feels just as good, and you won't be sore," Jeongguk leaned
down, leaving kisses down his chest. Just before Taehyung could speak, a moan ripped
through him as something pinched down on his nipple.

"W-what?" He couldn't see Jeongguk's face, but he could tell the younger was smirking.
When he did glance up, he knew he was going to be truly, awfully screwed.
"Trust me. If you don't like it, I'll stop," He grasped at Jeongguk's hair, squeezing at a fistful
when his hot tongue came in contact with the soft bud of his nipple while the other twisted it
between his index and thumb.

"N-no, it's o-okay," If he wasn't hard then, now he was. He moaned lowly, biting down on his
lip as Jeongguk's tongue swiped around his bud, before sucking at the little stiff peak. "F-
fuck, Gguk."

"Gonna make you feel so good, you'll remember me even when I'm gone, bun," Jeongguk
stopped, staring down at the beautiful boy below him.

"Y-yeah," Taehyung gasped, feeling Jeongguk's warm palm enclose around his hardening
cock. The younger tugged his wrist upwards, prompting the older's lips to buck upwards for
more.

It wasn't like the first time, where they poured themselves into dragging every second out and
making sure they knew one another was pretty. Now, there was this sense of urgency as if
they weren't going to do this, they wouldn't be able to live with themselves.

Taehyung didn't seem to mind it as Jeongguk flipped him around. It kinda bummed him out
he wasn't seeing his face, but with his back arched and ass in the air for Jeongguk, he was
sure he wouldn't regret this later.

"Fuck, I'm gonna miss you," Jeongguk's hands felt down his thighs, squeezing at the supple
flesh. He dragged his palms up to his inner legs, kneading at the sensitive skin near
Taehyung's already leaking cock.

"You better call me, alright?" He leaned down, pressing a kiss to the curve of Taehyung's ass
before adjusting himself into a position. God, he wished he could see him right now.

"I-I will," Taehyung whimpered, squeezing his fingers into fists as his face pressed against
the pillow. Jeongguk cupped his ass, giving it a gentle squeeze before aligning his cock
between his thighs.

"M'gonna be sad without you, Tae," Jeongguk sighed, caressing the sides of his soft, golden
hips. He groaned lowly as Taehyung's thighs clenched around him.

It was desperate, in the way Jeongguk thrusted into his thighs, the friction between them and
the way their cocks rubbed against one another drove him wild. His digging into his sides it
hurt, but it wasn't that that made Taehyung's chest ache the most: it was the idea of Jeongguk
being gone.

Every moan that fell out of his lips, and sensitive whimper as Jeongguk fucked him without
any hesitation, hips bucking fervidly while Taehyung unraveled below him, a moaning mess
below him.

"Suh-So perfect, baby," Jeongguk groaned, hands roaming, their breathing uneven with every
snap. He leaned forward, bare chest pressing against his back as his hands slid up his
abdomen.
"F-fuck, ha, J-Jeongguk," Taehyung mewled, throwing his head forward as the younger's
hands found their way to his sensitive nipples, still aching from the way he teased them
earlier.

Another resonant moan rumbled in his throat, the pleasure overwhelming his senses making
his knees wobble from below him. He gasped, sputtering, moans staggered with every thrust
of Jeongguk's hips slamming against him.

He couldn't take it; his body was on the fucking edge with this new feeling of pleasure
bubbling in his lower belly before forming that familiar knot. The way Jeongguk's fingers
twisted his nipples, and the incessant snap of his hips left his tongue like putty and mind
fogged with bliss.

This was a whole different side of Jeongguk, and of course, how could he forget what he was
capable of? He whined, calling out Jeongguk's name, throat raw and cock throbbing against
Jeongguk's, rubbing, sliding over one another with every tremble of his hips.

His toes curled, pleasure making his nerves all sorts of jittery. It sent electricity shocking
through his veins, the pleasure muddling every thought, only amplifying his senses, making
more sensitive as he teetered off the edge and nearly collapsing to the orgasm building inside
of him.

"J-Jeongguk I-I'm, ah, c-close," Embarassing, that was it. It wasn't even that long, and he
could feel himself nearly losing his grip on his ability to hold it all in.

Jeongguk pinched his throbbing buds, endlessly teasing them while his tongue swirled
around the shell of his ear. Taehyung's thighs ached, trembling, nearly about to collapse from
the sensation hitting him at every angle.

"W-wait, J-Jeongguk," He bit down on his lip, as the younger kissed down his back. He
hummed, and with another thrust, the two of them groaned in unison at the friction.

"I-I can't come on the rug."

"What?" He pulled away, his voice rougher than usual. Suddenly, panic swarmed Taehyung's
throat, the feeling squeezing his lungs.

"T-the rug. It's a special rug. I c-can't get my cum on it. Siwon will chop my dick off!" He
breathed. "We can't ruin the fucking rug, Gguk."

"O-okay, wait. F-fuck, you should have told me," Jeongguk pulled back, scanning the floor to
see if there was anything they could use. Taehyung spotted a napkin by the mugs, grabbing it
and pushing it toward the younger.

Jeongguk hastily grabbed the napkin, "Fuck, I can't believe we're doing this. You should have
told me!"

"W-well you were like 'ima fuck you in the thighs'!" He tried to mimick the younger's voice,
and he supposed Jeongguk did not like that because when he bucked his hips into him,
Taehyung swore he almost fell forward.

"I don't sound like that," Jeongguk grumbled, covering their cocks with the napkin. "Way to
ruin it Specs."

"Hey! I'm sorry the rug was a gift!"

"Just shut up!"

"Make me— f-fuck Jeongguk," Taehyung's words broke into a moan as the younger rammed
into him without stopping, unraveling him over and over until he was nothing but a bare
string of moans and curses.

Eventually, he did come, his orgasm slamming through him, leaving his entire being shaking
as he came undone into the the stupid fucking napkin. A fucking napkin!

He moaned, thoroughly ashamed with himself, and buried his face into the pillow, thighs
clenching tight, twitching as he spilled the rest of his release into the damn thing.

When he was done, he flopped onto his back, out of breath when he realized Jeongguk didn't
come with him. Instead, eyebrows drawn together, he watched him crumple it into a ball and
putting it with their dirty dishes.

"One, that's fucking gross," Taehyung wiped the sweat off his forehead, "and two, you didn't
come again! Do you have an issue? Is your dick broken?"

"Shut up!" Jeongguk stammered, "I-I held myself back. I can h-hold it— my cum, I mean. I-
I'll just jerk off in the bathroom."

"Oh fucking hell, Jeongguk. C'mere," Taehyung reached forward, grabbing the older and
pulling him over him so that he was straddling his chest.

"W-what the fuck? Where did you learn— shit, Tae!" Jeongguk nearly threw his head back,
moaning rumbling im his chest as Taehyung leaned over, wrapping his mouth around his
dick.

Frustrated with how far he was, he pulled him closer, fingers digging into his hips as he tried
to bob his head. He sucked at his cock, tongue pressing the hardened shaft to the top of his
mouth. He pulled back, swirling the wet muscle over the slit before sinking down on his
aching length.

"T-this is ha, e-embarassing," Jeongguk stammered, thighs trembling as Taehyung hollowed

his cheeks, nearly gagging when the back hit the back of his throat.

It didn't take long until he got Jeongguk releasing into his mouth, and with his free hand, he
pumped the bottom of the shaft, spilling the rest of him onto his tongue. He gave Jeongguk a
dirty look, finishing every drop until he was dry, and when this was over, he threw his head
back into the pillow, sighing.
"Great. I came into a napkin and drank your cum like coolaid," Taehyung mumbled, swiping
at the edge of his mouth when Jeongguk came down from his high, sucking for air.

"Now I'm really gonna remember this," He grumbled, running his hand down his face,
wincing at the way his mouth still had the aftertaste of cock on his tongue.

"We're fucking shameful idiots, Gguk. Shameful."

"Y-yeah," Jeongguk swallowed, scratching the side of his neck. "We should clean up."

And they did, not looking one another in the eye as they put on their clothes and tried to get
rid of the evidence. Surely, this was going to be a night to remember, but not in the nicest
way possible.

Even after brushing his teeth, Taehyung grimaced, mouth still tasting like cum, and
Jeongguk's dick. The two of them were lying on the rug with a blanket over the two of them,
though neither said a word.

What was there even to say?

"That was the most chaotic sex I've ever had," Jeongguk admitted loudly, drumming his
fingers over his chest. "Was good though. Told you, playing saxophone made your head game
strong."

"Shut up," Taehyung sighed, carding his fingers through his hair. "At least you don't taste
cock and cry inside when you can feel it in your nose."

"How can you feel— m'not gonna ask," Jeongguk tossed onto his side, facing Taehyung.
"You gonna remember me now, Specs?" He asked, and god, he rolled his eyes knowing there
was a shit-eating smirk on his lips.

"You're lucky you're my person," He eventually softened, reaching over and pulling Jeongguk
into his embrace. The younger nuzzled against his chest, exhaling in content as the two of
them intertwined their legs together.

"I'm gonna miss you, Specs," Jeongguk mumbled. "You and your amazing mouth will be in
my memories."

"I'll see you in a week, dumbass," Taehyung closed his eyes, wanting to force his mind to
forget this. He wondered if banging his head against the wall would work just fine.

"Y'know you love me," The younger chuckled, patting his chest. Taehyung buried his face
into the younger's soft hair, knowing for sure he'll miss Jeongguk, but the idea of loving
Jeongguk?

In what way? He didn't know, for that was the only thing he was unsure of.
 magical sticks & heartwarming gays

♡♡♡

"If I run into that wall, you think I'm gonna be able to ride the Hogwarts Express and become
a fucking wizard?" Jeongguk swung Taehyung's hand between them as the two of them
walked down the train station to where his train would arrive.

Today was the day Jeongguk was going back to Busan, and as much as Taehyung didn't want
him to leave, he knew he had to see his family. They did all they could to spend time
together, and after all, it was only a week before they see eachother again.

Warren and Siwon said their goodbyes at the house, leaving Taehyung to drop him off at the
station even though it made his heart ache thinking Jeongguk was going to leave so soon. His
dads knew they probably wanted to be alone.

And of course, Siwon begged Jeongguk to come back with Taehyung during the next break.
Warren didn't talk much, but by the way he kept giving Jeongguk pats on the shoulder, they
knew he was in.

The two boys merely exchanged smiles, and they didn't have to say a word to know that they
would come back the next chance they got to be together.

It was their own little space in the world where nothing else mattered except them— how
couldn't they?

"Do you wanna try?" Taehyung chuckled, finding him adorable as he squeezed the younger's
hand. "Be my guest. Get a concussion."

"Well, I mean, a concussion isn't cool, but the chance of becoming a fucking wizard
outweighs any health risks," Jeongguk hummed, releasing their hands to bring his arm around
the older's waist and bringing him close.

"I'd get a magical stick, Specs!"

"You already have one." The words slipped out of Taehyung's mouth before he could realize
the damage of his actions. The younger's eyes widened.

"Did you just call my dick magical?"

"You really complimented my dick?" Jeongguk gasped, shaking him gently as the older
absolutely refused to look him in the eye while his cheeks burned feverishly warm.
"N-no," Taehyung mumbled, "Shut up."

"You just called my dick, a magical stick. Bars, Specs. Does that mean you think my dick's
pretty too?" The younger teased, tickling his side a little, to which the younger nudged his
stomach, getting him to stop.

"Y-You're hopeless," He snorted, slinging his arm around him. "Just d-don't hurt yourself
stupid. You have volleyball when you get back, remember."

"I know, Specs. It's gonna be different this time around though," Jeongguk said, thankfully
dropping the topic. "I have to fly to Japan every weekend to participate in gyms with the
national team."

"Is that all?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. The younger shook his head.

"Later in the year I have this training camp in Tokyo, and I'll be gone for a week, I think?
After, I have some training to do in America. It selects promising players from every country
and we come together in this insane camp. It's a week, or two, tops!"

Wait. Jeongguk was going to leave him?

"Are you gonna be alone?" The smile the older wore faltered at the edges, though he tried to
hide it from the other, knowing it would ruin his excitement.

Yet Jeongguk didn't tell him this earlier, and now here he was, suddenly telling him he was
going to be gone more often. He wasn't sure what to feel about it, to be honest.

"No. My grandparents live in Japan," He shrugged, rubbing his hand up and down
Taehyung's waist. "I have some family in America too. It'll be short, and you won't know I'm
gone."

You're so wrong about that, he bit his lip, unable to say a word as his throat worked against
him. It felt odd, the way it closed, and how his tongue refused to cooperate and put a decent
sentence together without feeling heavy.

He couldn't deal with it when Jeongguk ghosted him for a week, or so. He couldn't possibly
imagine how he would be if his Jeongguk disappeared for days, weeks, or months on end.
Sure, it was only going to be weekends for now, but they rarely saw another during the day
once classes were over.

And it wasn't like he had a say on this; he respected Jeongguk's dream. Jeongguk's dream
meant more than anything else in the world. He couldn't just tell him he shouldn't leave,
when Jeongguk had the right to.

It was too selfish of him, so he couldn't possibly say anything, even though he wanted him to
stay.

This hurt more than he thought it did.

"Yeah right," He mumbled, mood plummeting, and suddenly they stopped. Jeongguk turned
to face him, lifting an eyebrow at the older who was staring back at him, his own furrowed.

"Are you gonna miss me, Specs?" Jeongguk mused, squeezing the older's hip teasingly.
Taehyung rolled his eyes, refusing to meet his stare.

"Oh my god. You're gonna miss me! Kim Taehyung is gonna miss me— Jeon Jeongguk!"

"In your dreams, loser," Taehyung muttered, body writhing to the side when the younger
playfully tickled him. He whined, shoving his hand away much to the amusement in
Jeongguk's doe eyes.

"C'mon admit it, baby. You're gonna miss me," He teased, pulling him in by the hip, grip firm
on his side as he carefully closed the distance between them. God, he was too ridiculous.

He was going to miss that the most, to be honest. His stupid jokes, the way he ate cereal
religiously, and his stuff lying around the dorm haphazardly. His stupid smile, and his stupid
laughter. All of his smiles and kisses and his hand holding his.

What was he going to do without Jeon Jeongguk?

"No, I'm not," He was glad he was wearing a scarf today, for the bulky material covered some
of his lower face if he bent his neck right. It was enough to hide the blush tinging his cheeks
pink.

"Yes you are!" Jeongguk sang, leaning his forehead against his. Taehyung's bottom lip jutted
out, the older tilting his head upward to meet his fond stare despite the way his heart raced
uneasily in his chest.

"Goodness, don't be sad, Specs. When we come back to school, I'll be there for a month and
—,"

"A month?" Taehyung whispered, voice thick, words stuck in the swell of his throat. "You're
gonna be gone after that?" Jeongguk's smile fell.

"I didn't mean it like that. We'll still see each other," Jeongguk whispered, running his thumb
up and down his hip. "I'll make sure to see you."

"Jeongguk, you can't forget I'm moving out. The deal's over," The older said, his hand
reaching up to adjust Jeongguk's coat, running his fingers beneath it to feel his hard chest
below his soft sweater.

The younger's brows drew together, "And so? We will make us work, Specs. I want... I really
want us to work out. Volleyball is important, but you are too. I promised to be your person,
and your always. I don't keep empty promises, Specs."

"I know you don't," Taehyung murmured, pulling back to get a better look at the younger's
face. God, he hated it. Hated how the skin between his brows were creased and worry
twinkled in his usual happy eyes.
He wanted to erase it with his touch if he could. Wait, no. Yes? Fuck.

God, how did this get so complicated? When did his dumb heart start to flutter and race when
Jeongguk was a mere inch away from him? When did he start seeing stars and felt fireworks
when Jeongguk touched him?

Taehyung knew there was more between them, but he couldn't deny the fear nagging at the
back of his mind that what if something goes wrong? What would he do, what would they
do? And how would they recover?

Overthinking sucked, and the longer he stared into Jeongguk's eyes filled with all these
constellations and galaxies he wanted to get lost it, he wondered if that was really the right
thing to do anymore.

If getting lost in them was really the right choice.

Jeongguk wasn't making any sense to him. He was an equation that was easy at the start until
he found more information that required more work, more careful consideration to truly solve
without ruining the equation.

He didn't want to ruin this with feelings he couldn't explain; a heart that beated at the sight of
Jeon Jeongguk. He never felt this before, and fuck, it terrified him. Terrified him to jump into
something he didn't know how to explore. Absolutely terrified of what would become of
them in the end.

Without him, what would he be? This wasn't simple like before, and he missed that. He really
did.

But at the same time, he didn't miss before. He couldn't picture himself without Jeongguk,
and he supposed that scared him too.

"Then trust me when I said I want to be with you," Jeongguk said, shaking his head. The grip
on his side tightened. Taehyung nodded, swallowing, listening to him carefully.

"And Taehyung?" He glanced up at him, raising an eyebrow at the younger.

"I want you to move in with me."

"Y-you what?" Taehyung whispered, his own eyes splayed wide, dazed with shock. "Really?"
Jeongguk nodded eagerly.

"Fuck yeah, Specs," The edges of his lips tugged upward into the same boyish grin that never
failed to make his chest erupt with infinite butterflies. "I want you to live with me longer."

"I wanna wake up to you, and I wanna sleep knowing you're there and not in some other
dorm except my own," He chuckled gently. "Maybe have you in my bed too."

"Gonna make galaxies and stars to you as much as I can."

"Fricking Sap," He murmured, gently punching his chest, cheeks hot. "God, I hate you." The
younger pulled his suitcase closer to them before letting go of it and grabbing Taehyung by
the waist.

"I can be honest with you," Jeongguk drew him close, "I don't know how this works. I have
no idea what I'm doing. But what I do know is that you drive me fucking insane. I can't
function without you."

"Call me your pal, your friend, your bestfriend, or your fucking person. I don't care as long as
I'm with you, got that? We'll do this together," He said, reaching up and pushing his hair
behind his ear.

"We will make it work, Tae."

"Train to Busan has arrived in the station," a soft woman's voice played on the speakers,
announcing that it was time. Taehyung and Jeongguk stared at one another, neither one
moving, breathing even.

"Do you want us to work?" Jeongguk asked, words trembling off his tongue. Taehyung
gulped, studying the way the younger's features softened, and how there was no fear in his
gaze despite his train waiting down the railway behind them.

He didn't know what to say, and with every fucking second that dwindled, he scrambled to
put together a single sentence. It was easy— a simple 'yes' or 'no' answer to a question that
was difficult to consider in the short amount of time they had left.

Taehyung was blind! So blind it hurt, and he didn't know what to do. He didn't have to worry
about this with any other friend, for they didn't do the things he did with Jeongguk. He even
thought that maybe, if he kept calling themselves friends it would make things easier, make it
all not matter.

But here they were, standing on a train platform, together while Jeongguk asked him if he
wanted to be more than friends.

And suddenly, everything mattered. Every kiss, every flutter of his heart, every single second
he spent with Jeongguk, and every little moment that made him fall head over heels for his
bestfriend.

Oh god. He fell for his bestfriend.

Holy shit. Oh no. Frick.

Fuck.

"Now boarding," The woman repeated in the same cheery monotone. Taehyung anxiously
glanced over Jeongguk's shoulder, watching the people get on, and yet the younger wasn't
moving.

He averted his gaze to Jeongguk's features, brows knitting together at the desperation flitting
through the younger's honey irises that seemed to be silently begging for an answer. He
chewed on his lip, willing his tongue to move, to speak, to tell Jeongguk that yes, he wanted
this.

Yes, he wanted to be his, or whatever else they were going to come up with. Yes, even though
it scared the him knowing he was diving into the unknown with no experience on
relationships at all. Yes, because Jeon Jeongguk was the sole person his heart beated for.

Yes, because while nothing made sense right now, maybe this was the answer. It had to be,
right?

So Taehyung grabbed him by the collar and smashed his lips against, and before Jeongguk
could respond, he pushed him off. "Yes," He said loudly, clearly.

"I want us to work out, and yes I want to move in with you," He smoothed down his jacket,
smirking a little as Jeongguk blinked, struggling to comprehend what just happened.

"Now go catch your train," He patted the younger's cheek, handing him his luggage, and gave
him a gentle shove in the direction of the train. Jeongguk licked his lips, merely rolling his
eyes and giving the older a lopsided smile.

"Getting rid of me that easily, huh?" He called out to him as he walked backwards to his train
where others were boarding. What a dork.

"Is Yeontan gonna be okay with your dads for the rest of the year?" He shouted at Taehyung,
nearly about to join the line of others climbing into the train.

"He will be!" He shouted back. "Goodbye Gguk!"

"I'll see you in a week!" Jeongguk gave him a thumbs up. Taehyung shook his head, smile
widening on his lips as he crossed his arms over his chest. Jeongguk simply winked at him,
saluted, and turned around, jogging to his train in order to get in time.

Once Jeongguk was gone, Taehyung's shoulders slumped and the swell of happiness inside of
him seemed to disappear in the seconds he spent alone on the platform. He swallowed the
knot in his throat, smile faltering around the edges as his gaze drifted down to his shoes.

He was supposed to be happy, but a part of him couldn't help but fear what was going to
happen next.

Taehyung wasn't stupid. He tried to push it back, to hold off on confirming his feelings for his
best friend of all people. He was completely clueless on how these relationships worked, and
yeah, he wanted to make it happen. He wanted it to work out, and yet, in the back of his mind
he was scared.

Scared that this might not be a good idea after all.

Scared that this might ruin things.

Scared that this wasn't the right answer.

 ♡♡♡

Returning to school was probably one of the most conflicted feelings Taehyung ever had, but
it didn't seem to be as bad as he thought since he was seeing Jeongguk again, and his other
friends after so long.

The last week without Jeongguk wasn't so bad. It consisted mostly of texting each other at
ungodly times of the night, sending pictures of their daily activities, and mostly just catching
up.

It was unusual, being glued to his phone, but he found himself always next to it, waiting for
one of the younger's stupid texts. Even though they weren't together, just being able to hear
from him was all that mattered— they made his day.

Sometimes Jeongguk sent stupid twitter memes, and other times the guy was complaining
about his little sisters being pains in the ass. Taehyung sent updates about Yeontan, and he
always tried to be creative in sending Jeongguk pictures of his adventures.

Although, there were times were Jeongguk was just straight up horny.

Those messages left Taehyung's skin burning and his body a little bothered (in what way, he
didn't know), but he was always a red, clumsy wreck every time Jeongguk texted him like the
horny little shit he was.

Wanna fuck you so good again, bun. M'kinda craving your cock down my throat. Miss your
ass, like your literal ass, Specs.

Sometimes Taehyung ignored them, leaving him to suffer, or he was just too weirded out to
do anything. Who even sends those lewd messages? But then again, it was Jeongguk— it
made sense.

Other times he teased him, and on rare occasions, he called him to facetime if it was late
enough and he himself was frustrated and...

Yeah. They promised not to talk about it.

Now that they were back, Taehyung was more than excited to reunite with Jeongguk, but the
younger texted him a bit ago that he wasn't coming until later that night. Something came up
for volleyball, and he guessed it dampened his mood, but what could they do?

He always knew volleyball was more important than him.

Things were okay between them anyways. They didn't get the chance to talk about their
relationship, but Taehyung supposed that was something to worry about later when Jeongguk
was there. They would discuss Jeongguk leaving another time.

The only thing that mattered now was that they were happy! He was moving in with him for
the rest of the school year, and they were going to be together again!

On the plus side, they didn't have to rely on video chatting to please themselves, he had to
admit that.

But for now, he was at Sunshine Sips with Hoseok and Jin after arriving in Seoul that
morning. It was a tradition to go there when break was over and just catch up with one
another like the good ol' times. It was something he genuinely looked forward to.

"I went to fucking Hawaii," Jin said, shoving a curly fry into his mouth as the three of them
were seated at their usual booth. "Swam with fucking dolphins! Actual dolphins."

"Sounds great," Hoseok chuckled, twirling his boba straw in his drink. "I did nothing but
work. Got new socks for Christmas and that was it."

"Not the fucking socks. You have two feet. You don't need a collection," Seokjin sighed,
waving a fry at him aggressively. "Unless you're using the sock to—,"

"Fuck off, I am not pleasuring myself with a sock. That's like middle school boy behavior,"
Hoseok grimaced, pushing his food away. "Thanks, you just killed my appetite."

"What? M'sorry I am in dire need of a good dick down. I'm bound to talk about cock, good
friend," The oldest of trio shrugged nonchalantly.

"It's healthy. If you're gay, it's a natural occurence to gravitate toward cock."

"Natural my ass. I've been dick deprived for months but do you catch me complaining?"
Hoseok rolled his eyes, turning his attention to Taehyung, who was staring at his phone,
waiting for Jeongguk to text.

"You. Gay Blueberry headass."

The youngest glanced up, brows furrowed as he realized they were talking to him. Did he
really zone out that bad? He slipped his phone into his hoodie pocket before folding his hands
over the table, giving them his full attention.

"Who are you texting, Tae?" Hoseok asked, jutting his chin over at Taehyung's lap.
"Yeah, who? You've been making heart eyes at your phone," Jin bit down on a fry. "Is it
Jimin?"

"What? No. I haven't talked to Jimin in a while," Taehyung's lips tumbled into a frown. "It's
just a good friend." He tried to play it cool, but by the way his hyungs were staring him
down, it was a bit hard to not squirm in his seat.

"Did you get dick?" Hoseok asked, eyebrows raised.

"Impossible," Jin dusted the french fry salt back into the basket, mouth still full. "Taehyung is
too pure to have sex. My guy is a smol little bean."

"He probably has no idea how to do it."

Taehyung chuckled along with the two, scratching the side of his neck, which flushed a subtle
shade of pink. He was planning to tell them about Jeongguk and him before the younger
came back to town, but he guessed he didn't realize how difficult that would actually be.

Especially since Jin didn't really get along with Jeongguk at all. The last time they hung out,
Jin threatened to cut Jeongguk's dick off, and Jeongguk made really bad sheep puns the entire
dinner.

He couldn't imagine how Jin would react to hear that Jeongguk and he had feelings for each
other that weren't as platonic as they made it out to be.

Maybe he had to think this out a bit more rather than just going "why yes, I fucked Jeongguk
over break, we switched during sex by the way, I kissed him a lot, had more sex, and we're
kinda a thing. My break was a whole vibe" to his friends.

That probably wasn't a good idea at all.

"C'mon, Tae is smart. He knows who to give his virginity to," Hoseok said, tapping his
fingers over the table. "I'm just messing with you, Tae."

"W-well you see," Taehyung flinched when both of his hyungs slammed the table, shooting
up in their seats. He blinked slowly, leaning back into the vinyl seat, hoping this wasn't his
death.

"You lost your virginity?" Jin nearly yelled, but when Mrs. Jung gave him a dirty look, he
cleared his throat and lowered his voice after bowing and apologizing.

"You're kidding, Tae. Since when did you lose it? Do you have a boyfriend?" Hoseok and Jin
kept firing questions at him when they settled back down, and he wasn't so sure what to say.

Frick, he shouldn't have said something.

"I—," He started, but Jin interrupted with—

"Okay stay calm everybody! This is a fucking monumental moment in history. Kim
Taehyung, our baby, lost his virginity!" He winced, when Hoseok and Jin made a drum roll
sound over the table.

"Uh, well," Taehyung swallowed, adam's apple bobbing uneasily as he averted his stare to his
drink. "It's a bit complicated."

"No fucking way," Jin collapsed back into his seat, eyes wide with shock as Hoseok joined
him. "Our little baby grew up!"

"I am not a baby!" The youngest whined. Jin rolled his eyes.

"Only real babies say that. You are baby, accept that," Jin crossed his arms, "but I guess not.
So, tell us. How was it? Who was the lucky guy who got to pop your cherry?"

"Did you bottom?" Hoseok asked, genuinely amused as the smile he wore radiates this sort of
brightness that could blind anyone in the room— including Taehyung.

"Please don't say it like that," Taehyung grumbled, pushing his glasses up his nose, "and I
didn't just bottom. I k-kinda switched."

"Oh my god," Jin gasped, clutching his heart. "You lost everything. Your butt, lip, and dick
virginity. Just gone. Poof." He raised a concerned eyebrow at him.

"The guy better have been special," Hoseok chuckled softly. He leaned over, reaching out and
placing his hand over Taehyung's. "We're just kidding, Tae. We know you're 18 now and
capable of making the right choice."

"As your close friends, though, we don't want you to get hurt though," Jin declared, his tone
slightly serious than before. "We will beat any asshole who hurts you, got that?"

"I will end him," Hoseok agreed. "If anyone hurts our Taehyungie, they will have to plow
through us." He jabbed his thumb at the two of them before giving Jin a high-five.

"You don't have to worry about that," A grin twitched over Taehyung's lips as he let Hoseok
squeeze his hand, finally relaxing in his seat.

"He was worth it. All of it, really."

"Are you two still together?" Hoseok pulled his hand away. Taehyung nodded, guessing
maybe it wouldn't hurt to just say it. Both of his hyungs oohed.

"We're figuring out. The thing just happened, you know?" Taehyung admitted, suddenly
overwhelmed by a wave of shyness— why? He didn't know. To be honest, didn't think he
would be talking about this, but here he was.

"Ooh, I see," Hoseok hummed. "Well, can you tell us about him?"

"That's the thing," He chuckled awkwardly, pressing his lips together into a tight line. "You
kinda know him already."
"We do?" Jin asked, genuinely confused. However, when he snuck a glance at Hoseok, he
already knew by the way the shock faded from his features and the gentle smile he wore
gleamed with support.

"We do," Hoseok hummed, ignoring the dirty look Jin was giving him.

God, he really did get lucky with Hoseok and Jin.

"He makes me happy? I think I felt something for him for a while. We kinda let it sit there,
and we did things, ignored labeling us, and now we're dealing with it," Taehyung murmured.

"He's going to be my first ever boyfriend."

It felt weird, to say those words, and at the same time exhilarating. Funny how one word was
enough to send this rush of adrenaline just because of how the vowels tasted like on his
tongue. And he liked it. Liked how the words shaped around his lips. His cheeks warmed
slightly, knowing that this was going to be something to get used to.

It was a word Taehyung didn't imagine he would call Jeon Jeongguk, but here he was. Jeon
Jeongguk and he were going to be together. Boyfriends.

"It's a bit scary, 'cuz I don't know what to do. He's a busy person. I'm still trying to figure out
what I wanna do with my life," He admitted, fiddling with his fingers over the table. "I-I don't
know? I guess."

"It's just all new, and I-I could be rushing in? We know each other, and he's like my other
half, and I don't know what I'd do without him so I'm scared this is gonna ruin everything,"
Taehyung rambled.

"I don't know what to do," He whispered, babbling on. "I'm bad at relationships, oh god."

"And that's totally okay, Tae," Jin surprised him, and this time it was his hand over his.
"You'll figure it out together, and this guy must be really amazing for you to trust him with
that part of yourself, y'know?"

"He's right," Hoseok added. "But Taehyung, what do you want?" Taehyung stared at the table,
mouth slighty open as he filtered through his mind for words.

"I want to be with him?" Taehyung managed to get out, voice slightly shaky. "It makes sense
to get together."

"Okay, well, why then?" Hoseok asked. Oh damn. He didn't really think about that.

"Well, he's sweet and caring—," Jin and Hoseok groaned in unison. "What?" He frowned,
brows drawing together.

"Bitch, anyone can say that," Jin sighed, tsking at him. "C'mon, make it more spicier than
that. You let him at your ass, and you went at his ass. You've seen eachother naked."
"He's got a point," Hoseok nodded. Taehyung leaned back against the vinyl, carding his free
hand through his blue locks and tossing them back, trying to figure out what to say that
would satisfy these idiots.

"He's a dork," Taehyung started, saying the first thing that comes to mind. "He's gentle, and
he rambles when he's nervous, and I think it's cute that he isn't an asshole who tries to hide
his emotions. He cares a lot, and he's selfless. Very selfless."

"I like his eyes. They have stars in them," He found himself picturing the younger in his
head, and the heaviness that thickened his chest seemed to ease along with his lips.

"His laugh doesn't fit him, but it's cute. I like his hands around mine— they're smaller, but he
has long fingers. I like how he talks, and how he views the world. He's passionate. Sensitive,
too."

"Without him, I don't know what I'd do," He admitted, honestly slathering his words. "He's
my person. He completes me in this weird way I can't explain, but when I see him, I get all
fluttery and light? It's like nothing else matters."

"My guy is in love," Seokjin gushed. Hoseok jabbed his side with his elbow, shutting him up.

"There you go," Hoseok murmured, shaking the youngest out of his thoughts. "Those are
really good reasons, and it seems like you two will be okay, Tae."

"Really? You think so?" Both older boys nodded.

"Yeah, but I can't guarantee no issues," Hoseok told him. "Every relationship is hard and
being able to get through those times is what makes them really beautiful. You'll figure it out
together step by step. It's a whole process worth taking if it's with the right guy."

"And he sounds like the right guy for you, Tae," Hoseok finished. "Maybe timing will be on
your side." He didn't know what that meant, but he hoped it was something positive.

"And I'm sure he'll make some time between you and volleyball. He's a dumbass if he
doesn't," Jin added, but before Taehyung could thank him, he realized what he said.

"Wait, you know it's Jeongguk?" He asked, genuinely shocked Jin wasn't getting up and
going on a murder mission to kill him. Seokjin nodded, shrugging.

"Yeah, I knew the second you started to explain it," Jin said softly. "If he makes you happy,
then I'm all for you two dating. Jeongguk's a good person, even though he irritates the fuck
outta me. And I can't dictate who you date either."

"I trust that you know what you're doing," Jin murmured. "I wish you two the best."

"Same here!" Hoseok chimed, "But if he hurts you, we won't hesitate to attack." God, he
loved them.

"Hyungs," Taehyung trailed off, heart swelling, but this time he knew it wasn't because of
Jeongguk. "I really got real lucky in my last life to be able to have you guys," He chuckled,
smiling shyly.

"It's nothing," Jin sighed, patting his hand. "You got us for life, Tae." Hoseok hummed in
agreement.

"I love you both," Taehyung gushed, and after Jin and Hoseok told him they loved him more,
his gaze couldn't help but drift behind them to the person who entered the shop.

His stomacy dropped, recognizing those familiar blonde waves, the long legs covered in
ripped jeans, and the yellow flannel that hung off his smaller form. Taehyung swallowed,
droning out his friends as they discussed whether you pour milk before or after the cereal,
focusing on the new customer.

And seconds before he could look away, the boy's sharp gaze suddenly met his own, fleeting
but he could still visualize the look of shock gracing the older's features.

It had been a while since he had seen Park Jimin.

♡♡♡

Taehyung came home to the dorm that evening, hands tucked in his pockets and fumbling
with the keys. He slipped them out when he approached the door, unsure why he was holding
his breath, but he was.

Maybe it was the idea that Jeongguk was behind the door, waiting for him, and the two of
them were going to reconnect after a week of not being able to see one another. It wasn't that
big, right? After all, they talked and called— this was like any other night.

But at the same time it wasn't, and all he could do was replay his conversation Hoseok and
Jin.

It was true: he sucked at relationships. He never had a boyfriend, and before all of this, his
experience was little to none. He didn't know how it worked, and he wasn't naive to believe
relationships went down like in those cliche Netflix romantic movies.

Relationships were hard. They required lots of communication, understanding, and mutual
feelings to work. Taehyung knew it wasn't going to be all sunshine and rainbows— things
were bound to get complicated: fast.

Part of him was still afraid even after their talk. Sure, there were reasons why this was the
right choice. He cared about Jeongguk in a way words couldn't even describe, for there wasn't
a synonym that could truly define the entirety of his feelings for Jeongguk.

In fact, the way he cared for him was indescribable.

The other half was enthusiastic, eager to start this relationship. They worked out as friends in
the past, and they were already in the gray area between dating and actual platonic friendship.
Actually, scratch that— they were far from platonic.

Every kiss, every touch, and the intimate moments where their bodies seemed to be one—
those were reasons why they could work. They reminded him that this was possible; it wasn't
a stretch to make something with nothing.

There was already something to work with, and Jeon Jeongguk was different.

They didn't have to say a word to interpret how they felt. With just one look they knew. They
knew they looked at one another in a way that transcended any kind of friendship.

There was more, and by the looks of how they were right now, he guessed there was nothing
to fear.

Maybe they would work out after all.

He fished his keys from his pockey, smiling as he thumbed over the keychain he got in the
mail from Jeongguk. It was a pair of glasses, and the letter he got with it made him sit in his
living room, laughing to himself until his stomach twisted.

A pair of specs for Specs. Can't wait to see you again and maybe fuck your ass. Just kidding.
I'm counting down the days until I can see you again!

He shook his head, remembering the little dick doodle Jeongguk put on it. It even had a
smiley face! He snickered softly, turning the key in, and when he finally opened the door, his
senses flooded with this sense of contentment seeing Jeongguk there.

He stood by the small table where they ate all of their meals, waving his hands at him when
the older scanned the room. He surveyed the room, noticing it was dark, save for the LEDs he
put up, on the tv was some movie, and draped over the couch was a soft blanket.

For a second, he thought it was cute, but then he realized there wasn't any food, and the little
lights were a bit too dark for a casual mood.

Then it settled. How ridiculous was this dork.

"Movie sex? Really?" Taehyung chuckled, gaze following the younger as he strode up to him.
He shut the door, and before he could talk Jeongguk's arms were around his waist and his lips
were on his.

He melted immediately into Jeongguk like it was second nature, exhaling through his nose as
his hands reached up to cusp his face. God, he was with him again, and the euphoria that
surged through him eased the stress that plagued his mind earlier.
Right. Of course they would work out.

Jeongguk pulled away faster than what Taehyung expected, but before he could speak,
Taehyung guided his face back to his, cutting him off with another knee-weakening kiss. The
younger hummed against his lips, the sound making his heart flutter.

Taehyung tilted his head, deepening the kiss, losing himself in the way Jeongguk felt beneath
him as he remembered this familiar feeling. Fuck, he missed this, missed him, and as his wet
tongue pushed past his parted lips, tangling with the younger's, he knew everything was
going to be okay.

"H-hey wait," Jeongguk pushed him off, giggling softly when the older continued to trail
kisses down his jaw. "I didn't even said hello."

"Well then," Taehyung murmured against the soft skin, words grazing the bone, "Hi there."
Jeongguk rolled his eyes, and this time he was able to make him stop.

"Wait, pause," Jeongguk's hands slid down his shoulders, "I'm deeply offended you thought I
set up this lovely date just to bang."

"Gguk, you know I was kidding," He said, his own hands finding their way to Jeongguk's
tiny waist and squeezing his hips, tugging them close to his own.

"I know you're more than a horny little shit."

"Awh, I'm touched," Jeongguk chuckled, cupping the sides of his neck, running his thumbs
up the smooth muscle. "Fuck, I missed you, Specs."

"Missed you too, princess," Taehyung dipped down, pressing his forehead against his. "What
do you got planned for us?" He said, pecking his cheek before gently pushing him away from
him, smirking.

"An anime! Thought we could just sit down," He let the younger's fingers find his, their
hands fitting together perfectly. Jeongguk lead them both to the couch, pushing the older
down with a teasing grin.

"And cuddle! 'Coz I miss you," Jeongguk climbed on the space beside him, body in between
his legs before he grabbed Taehyung's arms and wrapped them around him.

"You, of all people, wanna cuddle?" Taehyung chuckled deeply, staring up at the beautiful
boy on top of him, running his fingers up and down the back of his gray shirt.

"C'mon, this is kinda our first date since, y'know," The younger's nose scrunched cutely as he
gestured at the wall for no reason in particular.

"We're gonna watch gay heartwarming anime and cuddle just because."

"Yuuri on ice?" Taehyung glanced over the tv, though he really had no interest in it since
Jeongguk was here instead. He caressed the dip of his spine, his other hand slipping beneath
his shirt mindlessly.
"Yes, Yuuri on Ice. I told you, gay heartwarming anime is the vibe," Jeongguk declared.

"Since when did I agree to a date?" The older asked, gliding his touch lightly over the soft
skin of his waist.

"Since the train station and me professing my undying care for you," Jeongguk rolled his
eyes. "Do you not remember, or are you too old?" At that, the older smacked his ass, shutting
him up.

"You confessed to me at the train station?" Taehyung raised an eyebrow at him, guiding
Jeongguk's body down to his as their long legs tangled up with one another's. Jeongguk
nodded, and fuck, he missed the way his neck and ears got red first when he was shy.

"Yeah, and you called my dick magical."

"Shut up," Taehyung nuzzled his nose against his hair, inhaling the sweet perfume Jeongguk
only used around him. He was always smelling like flowery detergent and strawberries.

"But it was true! You like my dick," Jeongguk giggled softly while Taehyung pressed kisses
to his forehead, his hands slipping down his hips and over the curve of his ass beneath his
black jeans.

"And you beg for my cock every hour of the day," Taehyung whispered deeply into his ear,
smirking at the way the younger shivered beneath his touch.

"We are not the same, princess."

This was something he could get used to. Spending nights with Jeongguk like this, and never
let go, though he knew there would be a time where they were going to spend lots of time
apart. God, he didn't want to let it ruin his mood, so he decided to drop it.

For now, he was going to focus on Jeongguk and nothing else.

"Was it not obvious?" Jeongguk mumbled, quickly changing the subject, resting his head in
the crook of Taehyung's neck while his fingers twirled the strings to Taehyung's hoodie. Cute.

"I told you I want you as more than a friend, dumbass."

"You did?" He chuckled lowly when the younger smacked his chest, features flushed pink.

"Stop playing stupid with me," The younger whined, tugging his hoodie string, trying to be
scary and intimidating but failing. Taehyung smiled down at him, squeezing his body close.

"Okay, fine, I remember," He watched as Jeongguk reached for the remote, his chest hovering
over his face as he grabbed it from above Taehyung's head to start the show.

"Don't act like you're eighty. I know you're eighteen," Jeongguk grumbled, tossing the
remote on the coffee table when the anime started playing. On another day, Taehyung
probably would pay attention, but how could he when Jeongguk was here?
"Oh yeah, I'm eighteen now. I'm older than you," Taehyung teased, his other hand reaching
up to cup the side of Jeongguk's face, thumb caressing his cheek.

"You gotta only call me hyung from now now."

"I already call you hyung," Jeongguk rolled his eyes, leaning into his touch. "Was that a
sexual joke?" He mimicked Taehyung, purposely lowering his voice to annoy him. Again, the
older slapped his ass, making him squirm.

"Okay, that's new," The younger breathed, arms wrapped around Taehyung's neck as he
leaned his head back down on his shoulder.

Taehyung merely smirked before reaching down and cupping his ass, giving it a squeeze.

"Can't blame me for missing you right?" Taehyung whispered hotly into his ear, humming
softly when the younger's hips wiggled over his own.

"Tae, we're supposed to focus on the anime. It's Yuuri on Ice!" Jeongguk pouted, his voice
breaking when Taehyung's hands shifted him up, giving him access to his neck where he
began to trail kisses down the fair canvas.

"We can't fuck with Yuuri on Ice in the background! That's disrespectful!"

"So? I've been thinking about you all day, princess," His lips murmured against his skin
before he left another soft kiss over the smooth flesh.

"W-wait. You have?" Jeongguk asked quietly, eyes glistening with adoration for the older.
Taehyung nodded, basking in the way the younger flinched when he sucked at the supple
skin, tongue swirling over the tender bruise.

"Yeah, I have," Taehyung pulled back, tilting his head up to look at Jeongguk. "I was
thinking, that we only have so much time together before you leave."

He noticed his hair was a bit shorter since the last time they saw one another. Guessing he cut
it, he reached up, pushing his hair aside, watching him nuzzle against his faint touch. God,
Jeongguk was a whole new level of breathtaking; it was impossible to describe his beauty.

And it amused him that he was all his if they were to become boyfriends. Boyfriends.

"M'not gonna leave you anytime soon, hyung," Jeongguk mumbled, brows scrunching
together when Taehyung began trailing his fingers down the curve of his jaw. "We have a
month."

"Then we'll take advantage of that month," He said firmly. "I told you, I want us to work out,
didn't I?"

"Y-yeah you did," Jeongguk whispered, breathing heavy as Taehyung slid his cool palms
beneath the warm of his shirt, touch gliding over his taut muscles.
"And we'll make it work, alright? You're my best friend, my person, and my always,"
Taehyung pushed him back down, gaze flitting between the younger's slightly parted lips to
his doe eyes, sparkling with fondness.

"Want you to be my—," Jeongguk clamped his hand over his mouth. Taehyung raised an
eyebrow at him, but the younger shook his head.

"Don't say it yet," Jeongguk whispered, leaning his forehead against his while his other hand
slipped down to his pants zipper.

Taehyung's brows scrunched together, wondering what was happening until he realized
Jeongguk was stripping. The creases on his features as he helped the younger out of his shirt.
A smirk folded over his lips while he ran his big palms over Jeongguk's body, drinking in
sight of a perfect boy straddling his lap.

"Why not, princess?" He asked, holding his arms up and letting Jeongguk help him out of his
shirt. The younger pressed his ass down on his cock, emitting a low groan from the older.
What a tease.

"Want you to fuck me," Jeongguk leaned back down, running his fingers down Taehyung's
chest, thumb brushing over his nipples.

"What about the anime, Gguk?" Taehyung asked, cut off by a sloppy kiss. Jeongguk
shrugged, deepening the kiss, teeth bumping and chins brushing.

His brows drew together, bunched tight while he grasped at Jeongguk's waist to hold him
down, humming into his mouth as he rolled his hips over his hardening cock. When the
younger popped his lips off his, smiling down at him, he knew he was going to give in.

"Want your cock in me," Jeongguk rambled, grinding down on the older. "Then you can ask
the question!"

"Jeez, you're demanding," Taehyung rolled his eyes, unable to help the grin that twitched on
his lips when Jeongguk kissed his cheek.

"And very horny," Jeongguk mused.

They didn't finish the anime.

Jeongguk tossed his head back, moans falling out of his pretty, swollen lips as he rode
Taehyung's cock, bouncing up and down on his length while the older spilled all sorts of
profanities into the thick, hot air.

He gripped at Jeongguk's thighs, being careful not to leave any bruises, knowing they would
show at his volleyball practice (not that he cared but still, he had to be nice). He gritted his
teeth, moans intertwining with the younger's as Jeongguk sank down, the tip of his shaft
hitting his prostate dead on.

"Happy now?" Taehyung murmured, voice heavy as he ran his hands inside the inner part of
Jeongguk's thighs, trying to ease his tense muscles knowing he had volleyball tomorrow.
Jeongguk nodded eagerly, sniffling once again, thighs clenching when he lifted his hips up
before the older brought him down on his aching cock once more. He cried out, head hanging
forward as he steadied himself using Taehyung's shoulders.

"C'mere princess," Taehyung whispered, sitting up on the couch so Jeongguk was on his lap,
legs now curled around his hips. He tilted his head up, smiling at the pretty boy and wiping
away his tears.

"Why do you keep crying?" He chuckled, caressing his cheek before slipping his fingers
beneath his chin and drawing him close. Jeongguk simply shrugged, whimpering when
Taehyung thrusted up into him.

"I-I just— i-it feels so, so g-good," Jeongguk babbled, and fuck, Taehyung swore he couldn't
get enough of the way Jeongguk was like this for him, and only him. Made him want to fuck
him more, to be honest.

"And I missed you, and I w-want you," He sniffled again, more tears falling from his dazed
eyes as he slung his arms around Taehyung's bare shoulders.

"I feel so f-full? I d-dunno what I'm saying."

"Am I hurting you?" He pressed a kiss to his collarbone. The younger shook his head, biting
down on his lip while Taehyung carefully lifted him up before dropping his hips back down
on his length, evoking a breathy moan from the younger.

"N-never. I-It's just so, so big," Jeongguk gushed, "and I-I like it. Like your cock a lot,
hyung."

"You have such a dirty mouth, princess," Taehyung chuckled, pushing aside his sweaty
fringe, finding the way the stars in his eyes were blown out from being fucked like this.

"I-I know," Jeongguk mumbled, stringing his words together as Taehyung rammed his cock
up into him, making him cry out his name. Over sensitive, the younger crumbled into him,
head resting on his shoulder as his body trembled with pleasure.

"I think that's enough," Taehyung whispered against his ear, but Jeongguk shook his head,
murmuring 'no' repeatedly against his shoulder.

"You have volleyball. I don't want the team captain to be limping and not doing his best on
the court," He said, bringing his left hand up and tracing his finger down the hickies he left
all over Jeongguk's neck.

"So? D-don't care. I-I'll be fine," Jeongguk pouted, pulling back to meet Taehyung's hooded
gaze. "You're moving too slow. Faster, hyung."

"Jeongguk," He shook his head, "No."

"No?" The younger's eyebrows drew together. "But, h-hyung, please. I can take it. I can take
you."
"Do you hear yourself? You're a mess," Taehyung chuckled softly, cupping the side of his
cheek. "I'll just jerk you off, yeah?" Jeongguk's nose scrunched together.

"It's not the same," He whined, smacking his chest. The older raised an eyebrow at him. "D-
doesn't feel the same."

"What's up with the attitude all of a sudden?" He asked, tilting his head to the side, genuinely
shocked the younger was capable of acting like this.

He was so used to the bold, arrogant, level-headed Jeongguk. He guessed there was still more
to learn about him, and it left him rather amused he was able to see Jeongguk like this, to be
the only person who could witness him this fucked out and wrecked.

Another plus to dating Jeon Jeongguk. Another thing nobody would know except him, and he
supposed he took pride in being able to be the only one who made Jeongguk this way.

Eventually he gave in, fucking into the younger like he wanted it. He watched him sob out
his name, tears streaming down his cheeks, which glistened red from both sweat and their
intense intimacy. He finished off with another series of thrusts, until the both of them came at
the same time.

"W-wait," Jeongguk said when Taehyung collapsed backwards from exhaustion once he was
done cleaning him up (his stamina wasn't as great as Jeongguk's).

"Don't pull out."

"Why not?" He asked, feeling the younger rest on top of him, his smaller frame moulding
into his own, completing him. He wrapped his arms around the younger's waist, holding him
tight.

"Just stay inside. Feels good," Jeongguk snuggled up close to him. Taehyung tilted his head
to face his, grinning crookedly when their noses bumped against one another's.

"Alright," He gave in, guessing he was too weak for the younger, but he didn't complain.
"Can we talk about us now?"

"If you want," The younger shrugged, tracing his finger down Taehyung's collarbone. "I
wanna let you know that I've never been with anyone like this before in a long time. M'a bit
rusty."

"I haven't been with anyone like this ever," Laughter rumbled in Taehyung's chest, spreading
through him with this warmth. God, his heart wouldn't slow down around the younger, and he
hoped it would stay this way.

"Then we'll do it together," Jeongguk said, some sense finally returning to him. "We'll figure
it out. I want us to work."

"Yeah, I do too," He murmured, tracing down the little beauty marks that dot Jeongguk's fair
skin like small stars. "We'll work."
"That's the spirit," Jeongguk giggled, wiping the slight fog from Taehyung's glasses with the
bottom of his palm. "We're best friends. Being more than that will be easy for us, right? It's
kinda like the same thing."

I hope it will be, Taehyung bit down on his lip, instead nodding along to what the younger
had to say. Were they not going to address the hanging fact Jeongguk was leaving in a
month? Was it going to be ignored, and they would deal with it some other time?

Did Taehyung want to ignore it? Not really, but he wasn't sure how to bring that up properly
without hurting him. He couldn't just hold him back like that. That wasn't right.

"What are you thinking?" Jeongguk interrupted. The older raised an eyebrow as he reached
up, his fingers tilting his jaw to look at him. "You bite your lip a lot when you think."

"I do?" The younger nodded at that. "Well, I guess I'm thinking about you. Us." He couldn't
help the chill that caressed down his spine at the single word. Who knew it would be
something that terrified him to think about.

"Us?" Jeongguk's eyes sparkled. "Wow, that's... just something to get used to. What the fuck."

"Is that bad?" Taehyung asked, and he quickly shook his head.

"No, it's just... it's not you and me anymore. It's us," he murmured softly, fingers drifting to
Taehyung's hair and playing with the blue strands around his fingers.

"I think Us is my new favorite word."

"You're such a sap," Taehyung rolled his eyes, flicking his shoulder blade as the younger
giggled warmly into his ear, the sound making his heart dance.

"You gonna ask me the question, or am I? Do we need to play rock, paper, scissors to see
who's gonna ask?" Jeongguk teased, nuzzling his nose against the bottom of Taehyung's jaw.

"God, you're ridiculous," Taehyung patted his ass, even giving it a squeeze just to feel
Jeongguk's laughter against his skin. "Do you wanna do the honor?"

"Me? With your dick in me?" The older nodded. "Well, I suppose. Never thought I'd ask
someone out with a dick in my ass, but okay." He snorted lightly.

"Kim Taehyung, aka Specs, my pal, my person, my always, and the guy with the best 'n
biggest cock," Jeongguk slipped his index and thumb beneath his chin, tilting his head to
meet his starry eyes studying him close, a lazy smirk lounging on his lips.

"Yes, Jeon Jeongguk?" He couldn't help the smile unfolding itself onto his lips, stretching the
skin into its usual rectangle while laughter threatened to bubble out of his throat.

"Do you want to be my boyfriend?"

There were a lot of things that could go wrong, or right, and there wasn't any way to tell.
There was the possibility Jeongguk would make him happier than he already was, or break
his heart to pieces and as much as he dreaded that idea, he knew it could happen.

But Jeongguk was right. They worked together as best friends, as pals, and they seemed to
complete each other in ways nobody else did. Jeongguk was the last piece to his puzzle— the
person he couldn't be without for days unless he wanted to go crazy.

This new title wasn't going to be any different, and together they could make this relationship
work. Sure, it wouldn't be platonic anymore, but they were already playing in that gray area,
teetering off the edge of friendship to boyfriends.

Nothing could go wrong if they just continue the same way they were before.

It would still be the exact same thing, right?

"I would love to be your boyfriend," Taehyung declared, jumping in without another thought,
hoping that the younger was there to catch him in this daze of giddiness flowing through his
veins like permanent euphoria.

"Great! Then it's settled, Specs," Jeongguk grinned, booping his nose. He kissed him sweetly,
smiling against Taehyung's lips as their mouths moved clumsily, completely out of sync but it
didn't matter except the fact they were together.

"You're my boyfriend!" He squeaked, excitement dancing in his twinkling doe eyes.

"My boyfriend," Taehyung mumbled against his cheek, pressing his nose against the side of
his face. "You're my boyfriend."

"Yes you are," Jeongguk nodded, "and we'll make it work, Tae, I promise you this will work."
Taehyung grinned, pecking his cheek before leaning back into the couch, admiring the pretty
boy above him.

Oh, how much he hoped this wouldn't go wrong, because if he did, he wasn't so sure if they
would ever recover.
 boyfriends & boy friends

♡♡♡

Dating Jeon Jeongguk felt like some sort of dream.

Taehyung didn't know what to expect, for he dived right in without thinking and let himself
get caught up in what was the wave known as Jeon Jeongguk. It was easy, to get lost in him,
really.

Especially because of his doe eyes that twinkled, and those two front bunny teeth that
accompany his boyish grin whenever he tried to beg him for something.

Jeon Jeongguk was something else.

The last two weeks seemed to be some sort of honeymoon. Perfect, absolutely idyllic-- the
whole situation seemed fresh out of some cliche romance novel where the two leads had
finally come together.

It was probably the fact that Jeongguk was somehow (surprisingly) romantic, and in the
dwindling time they had together before his intense volleyball schedule pulled them apart, the
younger swept him away on all sorts of dates.

Along with their usual routine of walking to their classes together, spending lunches at
Sunshine Sips (but this time they exchanged lazy kisses in their little yellow vinyl booth and
held hands like all the other disgusting newly-made couples), and doing homework in their
dorm before parting ways, Jeongguk took him out.

Every other night was date night with some sort of creative theme. It was Jeongguk's thing, to
do things they've never done, so when people did ask if they had done them, they would reply
with a happy moment.

He was still a disgusting sap— that was for sure.

"You're already taking my dick out for a ride, so y'might as well get familiar with my head,
yeah?" Jeongguk had told him the first night of them officially being boyfriends.

"Don't say it like that," Taehyung replied, rolling his eyes. Jeongguk merely chuckled before
pulling him close and wrapping his arm around his waist.

"Then how else should I say it?" He whispered against his ear, his breath against his earlobe
tickling the sensitive skin.
"Shut up, dumdum," Taehyung mumbled, pushing him playfully, painfully aware of the smirk
the younger wore that seemed to tease him blatantly.

"You love me."

"I don't know about that," He shot back, brows slightly bunched together. Jeongguk scoffed,
but he didn't seem to be offended.

"We'll see, baby," On his lips were the same giddy, stupid grin, and so were the endless of
stars that filled his irises like an endless fucking galaxy of never ending possiblities and
emotions words could never do justice.

Those were the stars he found himself in love with.

They were walking outside together to their date, hands loosely intertwined, and simply lost
in the way they smiled at one another beneath the blanket of fogged stars. The world seemed
like their own, and nothing else could possibly penetrate this little, perfect bubble they
created.

They were so sweet it was awful. One look at the younger's giddy grin gave him a tooth ache
all on its own. The way Jeongguk's nose scrunched up when he smiled lit up the entire room,
and every laugh that rippled through his chest like a bewitching melody, could never compare
to anything as sweet as that.

Jeongguk's happiness was addictive, and Taehyung found himself seeking it, wanting to be
the one to cause him this sort of permanent state of euphoria to fulfill his own happiness.
Sure, it made their friends want to vomit around their existence, but this was it.

Nothing, or well, that was what Taehyung believed, could ruin this.

That night, Jeongguk brought him to a computer cafe, where they played video games and
tried to beat one another in PubG. Taehyung bragged on about how amazing he was at the
game, but he eventually ended up getting jumped by a group of people, and Jeongguk, while
laughing and sputtering for air, had to go and save him.

Eventually, the younger proposed the idea of duos, and together they practically destroyed
everyone else. Well, it was mostly Jeongguk— Taehyung preferred driving the get-a-way cars
rather than shooting people.

There he learned that not only was Jeongguk competitive at sports but at games, too.
Extremely competitive.

The boy stared at the screen, completely forgetting that Taehyung was there by his side as his
fingers worked wonders on the keyboard, clacking against the keys while he aggressively
clicked his mouse.

He always cursed when he died, and when he killed someone, he would fist-pump the air
close to his chest before glancing over at his boyfriend and giving him a ridiculous wink.
Taehyung tried not to look amused, but it was impossible when Jeongguk was giving him
more reasons to fall.

To fall so inexplicably hard for Jeongguk seemed like a challenge to avoid lately.

After that, it was park dates and picnics while they read each other's favorite books out loud
(Taehyung was the literature nerd), nature walks, dates to coffee shops at "ass-o'clock"
according to the younger, and an endless abundance of kisses and hugs.

Oh, and besides the cute dates there was sex. A lot of it.

Every other day would they find themselves spent on one another. Whether Taehyung be on
the top, or the receiving end, it didn't matter as long as he was Jeongguk. Something as
intimate as watching your partner unravel beneath you just for you in this vulnerable state of
mind didn't matter.

Positions shouldn't matter if you care for someone this deeply.

Besides that, they had sex on practically anything it was embarassing: the counters, the
couch, the floor, the big mirror in Jeongguk's room, or in each other's single beds. Didn't
mean much as long as they were touching, bodies melding into one, and minds lost in this
temporary bliss.

It humored him that the younger preferred it rough and hard to the point he was crying, but
he guessed he shouldn't be judging since Taehyung appreciated the filth that left Jeongguk's
lips while he fucked him in various positions, worshipping his body in its entirety.

Everything felt right, like their worlds were finally stable, and while they were caught up in
the whirl wind of being a new couple, he supposed they forgot to talk about some things.

Like how Jeongguk was leaving in a couple weeks, and soon their time would dwindle and
die since the younger was preparing for the upcoming Olympics.

Or the fact that Taehyung was suddenly being scouted by colleges hours away from Seoul.

That conversation would be for another time, and surely they would tackle it when this
"honeymoon" eventually wore off. He knew they would get to it, after all there was one thing
he knew for sure.

Jeon Jeongguk was the best decision he ever made.

"Goodmorning Specs," A half-awake Jeongguk murmured hoarsely, voice slicked with sleep
as he dragged himself out of his room, rubbing at his eyes.

"You okay?" Taehyung asked, nose scrunching together as the younger approached him. He
gave him a look-over, snorting softly realizing Jeongguk's hair was sticking up in weird
angles and there was a dry patch of drool on the corner of his chin.

"Alright as I can be," Jeongguk murmured groggily, running his hands down his face. "We
had sex until two a.m. and we have an exam today. All that's gonna be on my mind is your
ass."

"Well then. Sounds like you're doing peachy," The older teased, using the corner of his shirt
to wipe away his boyfriend's drool. God, he couldn't get fully used to the idea that Jeongguk's
really his.

"I'm just hoping I won't pop a boner during math," He grumbled, lips jutting out into a pout
as he approached the older. Taehyung raised an eyebrow, sliding a plate of toast with nutella
in his direction.

"What? I don't wanna explain to Miss Kang that I'm getting freaky with cosine and tangent."

"You're an idiot," Taehyung mused, finishing off the last of the jam on his bread, happily
biting into it. From the corner of his eye, he noticed Jeongguk sniffing it hesitantly.

"I didn't poison that if you're wondering," He frowned, eyebrows scrunching together.
Jeongguk looked up at him, still skeptic. "Gguk, it's Monday. It's not like I ran to the nearest
poison shop at ass o'clock to kill you."

"Fine. I'll take your word, but know I fucking love nutella," Jeongguk said, chewing his toast
with his mouth wide open, already bugging Taehyung too early in the day.

"Also, I still don't trust you after you poured spoiled milk into my cereal," The younger
whined. "I trusted you, Specs. Then you threw my trust away."

"I wasn't trying to accidentally kill you," He said, feeling the younger's arm sling around his
waist like it was second nature. "It was an accident."

"Can you not eat like a dog? I really don't need a live view of you grinding your food,"
Taehyung cringed, shielding his face away from the horrific failed attempt at ASMR with his
hand.

Jeongguk didn't listen, only crunching his food louder and stepping forward much to
Taehyung's own distaste. The older backed away, holding his hands out to push him if he
dared to get too close. Thankfully, the idiot stopped, smirking as he finally ate his food like a
civilized human specimen.

"I want to bleach my eyes," Taehyung stated bluntly, immediately losing his appetite as he
tossed his half-eaten toast into the compost bin.

"Please, delete thyself for the sake of humanity."

"But if I do, I can't blow your back out, and who's gonna call you dirty things in bed?"
Jeongguk raised an eyebrow at him, smirking at the way Taehyung's cheeks flushed a vibrant
red.

"D-don't say that," Taehyung pushed his cheet, but the younger's grip around his waist wasn't
budging.
"I would have deleted myself a long time ago if it wasn't for you," The younger joked,
dusting his fingers off on the plate before pecking Taehyung's cheek and heading to the
bathroom to brush his teeth.

When Jeongguk was gone, he walked toward the mirror in the small living area, right next to
the door, which saved him the trip of disappearing into his bedroom. Taehyung stopped in
front of it, refusing to stare at himself, instead focusing his gaze on his tie.

Today was one of those days.

One of those particular days where his insecurities would swarm the back of his mind
without warning and consume him, picking him apart until he was nothing but an
overthinking mess.

Sure, he was 'pretty' now, and Jeongguk made sure to tell him how beautiful he was every
time whether it be when they're naked or clothed and cuddling, but it was hard to really drop
that mind set after years of being told, of believing, you were ugly.

Taehyung never mentioned it to Jeongguk.

He knew they worked together for months to build his own confidence within himself, and he
supposed if he told him now that there were still days where hating himself was inevitable, he
didn't know how Jeongguk would react.

He didn't want to burden him, per se, with his own shit since the younger had his own to
tackle lately. They promised to handle things together, but this didn't seem like something he
wanted to involve the younger into right now.

Mostly, he didn't want to disappoint him. Jeongguk was the last person he wanted to
disappoint. With every disappointment, a person leaves.

Taehyung knew that by fact.

Usually he was okay, but on days like these, if he looked right into one, his mind would
betray him. Instead of a simple glance, his head would create this huge flurry of negativity
that practically ate him alive until he was basically nothing but chewed-up bone.

It was inevitable, walking in front of a mirror one morning and getting the biggest reminder
that he was ugly— it was like a slap to the face, and he could feel it stinging against his
cheek.

He could stand in front of one for hours, tearing himself apart over and over until he was
nothing but scraps, endlessly searching for something he couldn't determine what it was
exactly.

All he did was criticize his features. Pick himself apart until he was nothing.

Taehyung knew beneath all this he was still ugly. Somewhere there was an acne break-out
waiting to happen, and perhaps if he stared long enough, he would realize how awkwardly
proportionate his body was. His nose was too round, too big, and his lips were too small, and
his eyelids weren't even.

Sometimes he wondered if Jeongguk would still like him if he didn't change this
dramatically. Would he still date and pepper with kisses and praises to the Kim Taehyung
with broth-colored brown hair, long, choppy bangs, and baggy clothes?

He bit at his lip, chewing at the skin, creating all sorts of 'what-ifs' with the insecurity that
devoured him whole. Would the younger still want to be seen with him? Would Jeongguk
even love him?

Did Jeongguk really want him, or did he want the Taehyung that changed for somebody else?

"Specs, you know the purpose of a mirror is to be looking at one, right?" Jeongguk's footsteps
were awfully loud as he joined him by the mirror.

He refused to look up, knowing the younger was staring at him and continued to fidget with
his tie.

"God, I look terrible. Maybe sex at ass-o'clock before big exams is a no go." You're lying to
yourself. You should look at me.

"Specs? You're listening to me, right?" Jeongguk asked. Taehyung barely nodded, wincing
when he messed his tie up for the third time. God, usually he got it, but for some reason he
couldn't loop it right.

"Hello~ Earth to Specs? Bun? Tae?" The younger nudged his shoulder, a frown evident in his
tone.

"Now I'm starting to think you have a grudge against mirrors."

"Can you please shut up," Taehyung snapped, his tie falling apart, catching the younger off
guard.

"For once, can you stop being irritating for one goddamn moment?"

He lifted his gaze upward, meeting Jeongguk's eyes directly in the mirror, a scowl prominent
on his features, but the second his stare drifted toward the mirror, everything stopped.
Taehyung's adams apple bobbed nervously, his shoulders slightly sagging as his gaze fixated
straight ahead.

He tried to shut his eyes, begging his mind not to start now before his day even began.
Jeongguk, on the otherhand, went oddly silent until he decided to clear his throat, causing
Taehyung's eyes to fly open.

"Are you alright?"Jeongguk said, voice gentle. He tried to reach out to the older but he pulled
away from his touch, repulsed with himself.

"Does it look like it?" He replied, voice coarse. He inhaled slowly, feeling the younger's chest
press against his back, his easing presence fighting with the chaos wrecking havoc in his
head.

"You can tell me," The younger whispered, staring ahead at the mirorr, his stare latching onto
the older's over the glass. "You know I got you."

Taehyung swallowed what felt like a rock in his throat. He shook his head, "I-It's just me
being stupid again. It's nothing b-big. It's dumb. I'm dumb."

"You? Dumb? Taehyung we both know damn well that you're so fucking brilliant, baby,"
Jeongguk murmured gently, watching as the older ducked his down, ashamed.

"What is it? You can tell me anything, Tae."

Taehyung closed his eyes, hands curling into fists by his sides, the loose tie forgotten around
his neck. He debated whether he should say it, knowing he would be dragging the younger
down with his own worries if he did.

But all of it was pent up, stuck in his throat and ticking away inside of him like a bomb.

This— he didn't want this to be the end of their perfect little bubble. He didn't want to blame
himself for destroying it, this happiness, that they have made with one another.

He didn't want to infect it, ruin it, and trash it apart when everything was so perfect.

But the words clogged on his throat, threatening to spill from his tongue. With every passing
second, he wanted to cry out, to tell him to forget it and carry on like nothing happened. He
wanted them to be okay, to not have to worry.

And yet, the longer he stared at Jeongguk's worried features, he knew they were past that.
Jeongguk was already stressing over him when he shouldn't, and god the panic seized his
throat and his chest was all wonky and breathing unevenly.

"Do you still want me?"

He blurted out, the words choked out, forced from his throat. He trembled, biting down on his
lip, wanting to get out of there, to continue berating himself for ruining their bubble.

He felt pathetic for even thinking like this, for letting his insecurities ruin everything once
more. This was it. He ruined it, didn't he?

Jeongguk remained silent, mouth opening for a moment to say something but he seemed to
decide against that and shut his lips again into a tight line. His mind was working, and in the
mirror, Taehyung could see those invisible gears turn, invoking this still expression radiating
focus.

"Can you tell me what you see, staring at the mirror?"

"O-of course. I see myself" Taehyung whispered, voice almost muted. He gulped and averted
his gaze to his feet, staring hard at his socks, wiggling his toes beneath the material. "Why?"
"Tell me what you see, bun," Jeongguk asked gently, "And I mean what do you see, Tae. Not
just yourself but everything else you see. I'll listen."

"W-What?" His brows furrowed, the words he wanted to say melting on his tongue before
they could properly form. Eventually, he gave up, taking in a deep breath before saying, "F-
Fine, sorry."

"It's okay," Jeongguk said, his orders not at all demanding but rather calming as though he
took Taehyung's nerves into his hands and ran his lips over them, melting his stress away
with his delicate words.

"It's all good, baby. We got time."

"No we don't," Taehyung whispered, fingers squeezing into fists at his sides. "We don't. We
have school. Y-You have volleyball and—,"

"—That doesn't matter. We have time. Tardies don't mean shit," The younger murmured,
cutting him off. "We have all the time in the world." Taehyung nodded slowly, trying to
believe him.

"I-I," He inhaled sharply, flinching a little when the younger's hand grazed his arm. "I see me,
my old self. The bowl cut and brown hair." I see a person you probably would have called
ugly. You probably wouldn't have approached me.

"Taehyung," Jeongguk's voice pulled from his thoughts. His fingers were curled as they
brushed up and down the expanse of his arm, dragging down the fabric to the edge of his
elbow.

"A-alright," He whispered, voice cracking, words trembling off his tongue. "I-I'm scared
you'll realize I'm not enough, a-and that you'll get bored and see t-there's other people who
are so much better. W-who are more beautiful. S-somebody that deserves you."

"Y-you'll see I'm not confident at all, and that this is an act, and we b-both lied to ourselves. I
don't look good— I'll never be as good," Taehyung couldn't hear himself over the pounding
of his own heart.

"Even with this new look, I still hate how big my nose is, and the acne on my face, and my b-
body. All the stretchmarks and moles, and just... everything," He swallowed, feeling the
younger's gaze staring directly at him through the mirror.

"Is that what you think of yourself?"

"Yeah," Taehyung hummed, breathless. "I-It's okay. You don't need to— oh," His eyes
widened slightly, feeling the younger take off his blazer and his tie.

"What are you doing?" He asked, words caught in the swell of his throat as he watched his
blazer fall to the ground and pool around his ankles.

"Gonna tell you what I think," Jeongguk murmured into his ear, nose brushing against the
side of his head. He sucked in his breath, skin tingling when Jeongguk slipped his palm up
his shirt.

"Gonna show you what I see if that's alright with you, bun?" Taehyung nodded dumbly.

He felt the younger's other hand slip beneath his chin, gently guiding his head upward until
their gazes were leveled. Taehyung's adam's apple bobbed uneasily while a wave of
insecurity crashed over him, consuming him, but before he could sink, Jeongguk brought him
to the surface.

"I think your face is beautiful, but let me tell you why." He ran his finger down his jawline,
touch almost ghostlike as goosebumps littered his arms. "I think your nose suits you, and it's
made just for you. It balances out your features, and the mole on it makes me want to boop
your cute little nose."

And he did. The older stiffled a giggle. Jeongguk went on and kissed his cheek.

"For the acne? Everyone has it, bun. It's natural, shows how human you are. Fun fact, I used
to have really bad acne when I was younger," Jeongguk said, "and it'll clear up. But it also
doesn't make you any less beautiful."

Taehyung tilted his head back, breath shallow as the older began to unbutton his shirt. He
stared at the younger's fingers carefully prying each button loose, and with every passing
second it felt like eternity by the way Jeongguk took his time undressing him.

"People nowadays want clear faces with no flaws, and I respect their choices. However, I
don't think there's really such thing as ugly flaws," Jeongguk whispered, finishing the last
button and helping the older shrug out of it.

"Y'know the little moles are like little stars. I stare at 'em all the time, bun. Especially the one
buried in your eyelash— that one's my favorite," Jeongguk smiled against his cheek. "That
scar on your cheek has a little story, right? It holds a memory."

"It was a good memory," Taehyung found himself admitting. "I fell off my bike when I was
five. Siwon thought I could do it, but I ended up eating dirt." He chuckled lightly,
remembering how panicked his dad got while Warren was calm the entire time as he wiped
away his tears.

"See? They're beautiful— they make you, you." His heart fluttered in his chest when the
younger nuzzled his nose against the side of his hair. "What else?"

"My s-stomach. It's n-not like yours, and I swear I t-tried to change it," Taehyung bit down on
his lip, watching Jeongguk's hands slide over his sides, gently massaging at the pudgy flesh.

"Well there's no need to change it," Jeongguk trailed his lips over the curve of his bare
shoulder. "Any kind of body is amazing, Tae. Whether you got hard abs, or a smooth tummy
like yours," he poked his stomach teasingly.

"It's just as beautiful," His brows furrowed together when Jeongguk maneuvered themselves
around so now he was in front of the older.
"You're so fucking beautiful."

His breath hitched as the younger began to lower himself down to his knees, leaving delicate
kisses over his stomach until he finally sunk to the floor.

Taehyung watched, cheeks aflame and lip badly abused between his teeth, while Jeongguk
pressed his lips over his navel and in the crevice where his v-line should be but in its wake
was soft pudge.

Jeongguk tilted his head back, peering up at him with the softest of smiles while his hands
gripped on his hips, "Could stare at your pretty tummy for hours, bun. I love your tummy."

"You do?" He asked, struggling to put a single word together. Jeongguk nodded, squeezing
his hips.

"Love every part of it. It's soft and smooth and just so perfect. And your thighs, god, I love
them," He gulped, gaze meeting Jeongguk's as the younger silently asked him if it was okay
to proceed before nodding and letting him undo his belt.

He watched through hooded eyes while Jeongguk worked the belt and tossed it aside, the
buckle clattering against the floor. He awkwardly fidgeted with his fingers, twirling them
around one another when Jeongguk tugged his pants down.

They've had sex before— they've seen one another naked so many times Taehyung could
picture it in his mind if he focused hard enough. But for some reason, this time felt like the
first, and all he wanted to do was press his legs together and hide, scared he wasn't worth it.

But he fought the urge, watching Jeongguk slip his hands down his thighs, squeezing and
kneading the supple flesh beneath his strong, calloused grip. He licked his lips slowly,
watching Jeongguk duck his head forward and kiss his inner thighs.

"F-fuck, what are you d-doing?" Taehyung shivered beneath his touch, brows drawn tightly
together when Jeongguk playfully nipped at the skin. If this was going anywhere, he knew
for sure they would be late at this rate.

"Your thighs are gorgeous, bun," Jeongguk mumbled against his thigh. "The stretchmarks on
the inside show that you've grown, not only just physically but as a person. The little
birthmark is just as precious as the rest of you."

"J-Jeongguk, we're gonna be late," He managed to mumble out, stumbling over every word.
Jeongguk seemed to ignore him, and before Taehyung could realize what was going on, he
was taking off his underwear.

"N-No, wait, stop," And Jeongguk did, staring up at him with those big, round doe eyes that
never failed to sparkle and reveal every one of his emotions.

"What, bun?" Jeongguk ran his hands up the expanse of his thighs, genuine concern swirling
in the pools of galaxy in his irises.
"M'not," He blushed feverishly, feeling like an absolute ridiculous idiot with Jeongguk on his
knees for him. It didn't feel right, and sure, he was worried about being late but that was out
the door—

"You're not what?" The younger asked patiently.

"I-I— Jeongguk," Taehyung whined softly, flicking his forehead. Jeongguk merely snorted,
freeing his hand to grab his wrist and bring it close to his mouth.

"Tell me. M'all ears, baby," Jeongguk brushed his lips over his wrist, and fuck, the way he
stared at him made him melt like putty. Taehyung glanced toward the side, rolling his eyes.

"M'not hard. It's still... yeah," He muttered, face burning impossibly hot. At that, Jeongguk
chuckled deeply, adding to the fire licking flames inside of him.

"It's still soft?"

"Don't say that," Taehyung grumbled, swatting at him, which the younger dodged. Jeongguk
threw his back a little, laughter bubbling out of his mouth.

"We'll change that when we get to it. Will you let me take off your underwear so I can
appreciate your dick too?" Jeongguk asked, and of course, he ruined the moment with his
choice of words.

Taehyung rolled his eyes before caving in and nodding meekly. Jeongguk's fingers hooked
around the waistband, and with a shaky exhale, he watched with sheer embarrassment as his
flaccid cock emerged from beneath the fabric.

"T-this is embarassing," Taehyung huffed, refusing to look at his dick. He squirmed beneath
Jeongguk's gaze, but the younger was gripping his thighs firmly, holding him in place.

"There's nothing embarassing about showing my appreciation for you," Jeongguk said,
watching the older's shoulders slacken when his palm enclosed around his dick. He pumped it
lazily, feeling it slowly harden beneath his fingers.

"You have a huge dick, Tae. Honestly, you're way above average and that's something to brag
about. Not every Asian guy can be as hung as you," The younger teased lightly, letting go of
his semi-hard on and spitting into his palm.

"Spit? Really? You're gonna wipe your spit on my dick?" Taehyung asked, raising an
eyebrow at him.

"We've done worse," Jeongguk shut him up and curved his fingers around Taehyung's cock,
his wrist flicking upward, dragging every movement out with every gentle tug.

"See, you're beautiful. Even your dick is beautiful. I know all you see is ugliness and being
unworthy of anything, but Tae, you are gorgeous," Jeongguk said, gaze intense watching
Taehyung rock his hips forward against his touch out of natural instinct.
"Not only are you funny, caring, selfless, and so fucking thoughtful, your body is beautiful.
You are so goddamn beautiful, Tae, I'll keep saying it until you get tired of me," He laughed,
now staring down at Taehyung's erection in his palm.

Taehyung wanted to say something, to tell him he was wrong, but for some reason he couldn't
say a single word. He averted his gaze to Jeongguk, who was looking up at him, eyes
sparkling and lips slacked into the prettiest of smiles, and his heart lurched.

It lurched because Jeongguk was here, telling him the reasons why he should love his body,
and why he should be confident in himself.

"Every flaw you see is a perfection in my eyes. Whoever has the privilege to love you will
find themselves falling in love with every part of you," Jeongguk whispered, squeezing his
girth, evoking a soft hum from the older.

"You are worth more than you cut yourself out to be. We as people accept the love we think
we deserve, but Tae, what we don't realize is that we deserve every ounce of love people have
to offer," Jeongguk said softly.

"We just gotta find the right person to give us that love."

"J-Jeongguk," Taehyung's tone softened, his words baret audible on his tongue. Jeongguk
hummed.

"M'your person, hyung," The younger whispered, his free hand taking Taehyung's and
placing it over his cheek. He held his hand over his, squeezing the older's fingers and melding
into his touch.

"I want to be that person," Jeongguk said, "and I will be as long as you let me."

"Do you like me?" He blurted out, caught up in the eratic thump of his heart and the
thousands of feelings surging through him and Jeongguk's name, his face, his words
replaying in his mind.

"That's a dumb question," The younger chuckled, and right before Taehyung could pull away
in confusion, hurt, he brought him closer.

"Like isn't enough to describe what I feel, silly."

Taehyung's eyebrows eased, realizing what Jeongguk had said, what he told him with his own
words. His heart danced and spun and so did his stomach, doing all sorts of shameless turns
and flips that left him dizzy in his stance.

He gulped, staring down at the younger, melting beneath his tender stare that seemed to
unravel him until he was nothing and proceed to put him back together in a way that left him
better than before.

It was in the way he stared at him, held him, and touched him in ways without using his
hands that made Taehyung realize he didn't want to lose this.
This was something he couldn't let go of, and if he did, he wasn't sure how he would ever
recover. God, He would be a fool to lose Jeon Jeongguk.

A stupid, dumb, fool.

He felt Jeongguk's hand slip from his, and the younger grabbed his hip once more. He peered
up at him, lips pressing against the side of his cock, a hint of a smile curving behind his
length.

"We're going to be late," He found himself saying, and it wasn't exactly what he wanted to
say, but surprisingly Jeongguk got it. The younger shrugged, pumping his cock once more
before giving him a suggestive look.

"We're the top students, bun," Jeongguk snorted. "I think they owe us a little break, yeah?"
Taehyung nodded dumbly, a long, drawn-out moan slipping past his parted lips when
Jeongguk finally took his cock into his warm, damp mouth.

They didn't go to class that morning, for the rest of the period where they should have been in
class, Jeongguk spent his time showing him how beautiful he was while Taehyung promised
himself he would never let him ever get out of his reach no matter what.

♡♡♡
 ♡♡♡

"Fucking hell," Jeongguk fell onto his bottom on the gym floor, falling flat on his back as he
spread his limbs over the cool wood. "Why haven't we stopped yet?"

"Coach is running us harder 'cuz you have the Olympics coming up," Yugyeom wheezed,
reaching for his waterbottle beside him before throwing his head back and draining the
remaining water.

"Also because Park didn't show up. For every member that doesn't come, we run two miles,"
San grumbled, using his shirt to wipe the sweat off his brow. "I hate Park Jimin with a
passion."

"You're not the only one. Parkass is a little bitch for not coming. Bet he's hella pissed off 'cuz
he didn't get an invite," Yugyeom grumbled, crunching his waterbottle beneath his grip.

"Still! He should have given an excuse. I wonder where he went that was more important,"
San shrugged, tossing his sweaty brown hair back over his forehead. Hope he isn't bothering
my Taehyung, Jeongguk thought.

"I'm gonna strangle him when he comes back. My legs can't take this abuse," Yugyeom
snapped. "I need to go home and sleep. Fuck exercise."

"Says you. You're on the varsity volleyball team. You signed up for this," Jeongguk snorted,
speaking up after getting a drink. Yugyeom rolled his eyes.

"I know. I just wanna go home already. Coach kept us here too long," Yugyeom sighed,
wiping the sweat off his brow with the back of his wrist. "I can feel sweat in my ass cheeks."

"Sadly, we can't. Coach wants us to do more hitting and receiving drills for another hour,"
San said, his words being met with a chorus of groans. "Oh wait, Jeongguk."

"Yeah?" He asked, setting his waterbottle back down. "What's up?"

"Don't you have a date with Taehyung?" Oh. Fuck.

"Fucking hell," Jeongguk scrambled over to his bag, digging in the duffle for his phone after
he realized he was an hour late to their date tonight. "Shit, shit, shit, I made him wait."

"Hopefully the guy understands," Yugyeom said, watching Jeongguk fumbled with his
password for his thumbs were too sweaty. "That's the problem with dating an athlete. It's
either you or the sport."

"That's not the case," Jeongguk snapped, glaring at the younger who raised his hands up in
defense. "I have a lot of time for Taehyung." He said, unsure why he was forcing himself to
believe it as the words felt wrong on his tongue.

"Do you really though Gguk?" San piped in, leaning forward, arms dangling over his bent
knees. "We have practice three hours every day a week. You're gonna go to Japan every
weekend to practice with the big shots."

"I said I have time for him. I'll make time," He snarled, finally opening his phone to a bunch
of texts from his boyfriend. Fucking fuck, he swallowed, stomach dropping as he read
Taehyung's concerned messages.

"We just don't want you guys to suffer from your other things, Gguk. We know you two are
whipped, but this is huge," San said. "You don't want Tae to think he's not as important as
volleyball."

"He won't think that," Jeongguk brushed him off, not wanting to cater to the nasty feeling
twisting his stomach as he typed an apology to his boyfriend, asking him if he could wait
another hour.

"Jeongguk, be reasonable. Jae would say the same thing," Yugyeom sighed. "Have you guys
talked at least about you leaving?"

"Yes," Jeongguk lied, but by the unimpressed looks on his friends' faces, he caved in. "No,
we haven't. We haven't had the time 'cuz we were busy."

"Busy fucking each other's asses into oblivious. God, ya'll need to talk. You can't keep
shoving shit aside and wait for later," Yugyeom nudged his foot, brows furrowed.

"When later comes, it might be too late, Gguk."

"Don't you think I know that? You sound like Jae," The oldest of the trio rolled his eyes, and
the second his phone vibrated, he returned his attention back to Taehyung's message, and
thank god, he agreed to wait.

"Are you seriously making him wait?" San asked, genuinely not amused when Jeongguk
finally put his phone away. "Gguk, we don't know when we're gonna leave."

"Can I ask why you guys are suddenly attacking me today? It's not a big deal. We're happy.
Things are going pretty great. That's all that matters," Jeongguk said, the edges of his lips
curved into a scowl.
"There's nothing wrong, and you guys don't have to worry. I got it all handled," He stressed,
tossing his phone back into his duffle. Just as the older was about to get up and try to unwind
himself in some volleyball, San grabbed him, holding him down.

"Taehyung or volleyball. Answer us."

"W-What? Is that even a question?" He stammered, staring incredulously at his two friends,
who seemed hellbent on bullying him today. Usually they never got into his business, but
there was something else in the air getting them all concerned.

"It is now," Yugyeom crossed his arms over his chest. "What's the answer, Cap? Should be
easy, hm?"

Sure, he appreciated that they cared, but sometimes he wished they didn't get so concerned.
Jeongguk was good at handling things on his own; Namjoon and Yoongi trained him to do
ever since high school started and his old friends decided he wasn't worth worrying over.

Whatever was going on with Taehyung was none of their fucking business! The two of them
weren't going to talk about it, hell, they both already knew he was going to leave soon.

Was it really a crime to just want to enjoy their last few weeks together without having to
worry about that?

But the longer Yugyeom and San stared at him, and the longer no word was said, Jeongguk
swallowed thickly, struggling to come up with an answer. He scratched the side of his neck,
jaw setting tight as he scrambled to choose, and yet, he couldn't.

Taehyung or volleyball. He thought he knew the answer to it, but now, he wasn't so sure
anymore.

"You need to realize you're not single anymore. Tae is not another fuck," San's tone softened,
and soon the grip on his shoulder eased into a gentle pat. "You guys are boyfriends. You gotta
think about his own feelings too."

"We know volleyball is important to you, Gguk, and so is Taehyung," Yugyeom added, "but
you need to either choose one, or figure out a compromise 'cuz it's going to get real messy."

"We don't wanna see either of you get hurt," San finished in a soft whisper, to which
Yugyeom hummed in agreement with, genuine worry in his usual carefree eyes.

"It's not going to be messy, you guys," Jeongguk didn't know who he was trying to convince
at this point, but he tried anyways, tried to make it seem like it wasn't a big deal. Yugyeom
and San didn't seem to believe him.

"Jeongguk," San started, but the older cut him off and got to his feet. His friends joined him,
both opening their mouths to start, but Jeongguk raised his hand, silencing them both.

"I'll figure out a compromise, alright? I know what you're trying to say, but I got this," He
cleared his throat, his tone easing as he cupped the side of his neck. "We'll figure it out."
Of course they were going to figure it out because they were best friends before this— they
always solved their shit together. Around Taehyung, all of his choices made sense, things
were easy between them, and they didn't even need to talk about it. So of course, it was going
to work out.

But why, why, of all times, did his stomach drop the moment those three words left his lips?

"Alright. We'll stop bothering you about it," San patted his back. "But know you're not alone,
okay, Gguk?" The older nodded silently, flashing them a weak smile before trailing after
them as they walked back to the court.

Right, he rubbed his hands together, trying to shake the uneasiness off from his mind. This
was going to work out, and at the end of this they would still be boyfriends, Jeongguk told
himself.

But the second his feet touched the court, all his worries were casted aside and forgotten, and
little did he know that his choice was way easier than he thought it would be.

♡♡♡

Jeongguk wasn't coming.

Taehyung was done texting him, guessing their coach was running practice extra late
especially since a tournament was coming up. He sighed, adjusting his bag and slipping his
phone back into his pocket before locking the door to the student council room.

Sure, he was a bit disappointed, but there wasn't much he could do. To Jeongguk, volleyball
was the bane of his existence. The guy lived and breathed for volleyball. Before Taehyung,
he dedicated his entire life to it— there was no reason for him to be upset.

Plus it wasn't like it was going to happen again. The younger had some late practices, but he
always made it up with a cute date for the two of them and some sex.

To be honest, Taehyung was looking forward to the sorry sex, where Jeongguk let him pound
him into another realm, so he supposed he didn't mind. This didn't happen often, therefore he
should let it go.

And he did. The disappointment didn't last long, instead he was just bummed, mildly sad he
wasn't able to spend his (now late) lunch with his boyfriend. It wasn't like they weren't ever
going to do it again anyways. He would get to see him later tonight.

He tucked his keys back into his pocket and set off back to the dorms, whistling a tune as he
walked. He was probably just going to eat alone at the dorm, or maybe even call up Hoseok
or Jin if they weren't busy. Maybe he might do some work.

Lost in his thoughts and the little happy tune he whistled, Taehyung bumped into someone,
their shoulders colliding with such force it snapped him out of his thoughts. He blinked
rapidly, realizing he was teetering to the side.

Holding his hand out to steady himself against the wall, he turned to apologize, ready to face
a lost freshman, or a hurrying lower classman. Smiling his student council smile, he opened
his mouth until he recognized the familiar head of blonde hair.

His smile immediately disappeared.

"Ah fucking hell. I'm so sorry— oh, Taehyung," It was Jimin, breathless and hair disheveled
over his forehead. He watched silently as the older brushed his fringe aside, grumbling
beneath his breath.

"Why are you here?" He asked, eyeing the older up and down, throat suddenly dry. They
haven't really spoken since their date, and even then, Taehyung didn't see Jimin around for
awhile.

"I was going to talk to the athletics director," Jimin said, patting down his blazer and
smoothing out the creases on his button-up. "I'm joining the South Korea national volleyball
team."

"That's good to hear," Taehyung said, pressing his lips together as the two of them awkwardly
stood in the hall. "Didn't think you'd pursue volleyball."

"Me either, but my dad said I should try it since I've gotten this far. It's just for the summer
so," Jimin shrugged, and surprisingly Taehyung didn't notice any hint of aggression or
bitterness in his tone. Odd.

"Right," He nodded, the tip of his tongue flicking over his lips, wetting them. "I was just
finishing some council work. Lots of detentions I had to give y'know." He tried to joke to
ease the awkwardness, and what a shocker! Jimin... smiled?

"That's great they had you for that," Jimin chuckled, like genuinely chuckled. Was Taehyung
talking to the right guy? "I'm sure you handled it well."

"Yeah," Taehyung studied the older closer, the skin between his brows creasing slightly.
Jimin merely nodded, scratching the side of his neck as the small smile on his lips eased into
a thin line.

"Alright. I, um, have to get going," Jimin said, jabbing his thumb down the other hall. "It's
nice to see you. Heard you're dating Jeongguk in practice, and uh, I hope you guys are
happy."
Did he just hear that correctly?

To think, he was talking to the guy who tried to force sex on him and was so absorbed in
himself to realize that Taehyung was next to him. This was the exact same guy who yelled
and shouted and was a whole brat to anyone, and yet he was quiet, giving genuine smiles, and
acting... a bit timid.

What happened during winter break?

"Wait," Taehyung wasn't sure if he was going to regret this since he didn't put much thought
into his choice, but Jimin already spun around, eyebrows raised, waiting for him. He bit his
own lip.

"Do you want to grab lunch with me?" He asked, sliding his hands into his pockets. Before
Jimin could answer, he added, "you don't have to."

"Oh no, it's okay. I'd like to, if you're down," Jimin nodded once then twice. He hugged
himself, hands sliding down his arms. "If you're okay with it."

"Yeah. I don't have anyone to eat lunch with, and I'm a bit hungry," Taehyung tried to relax as
the two of them began walking down the hall and toward the cafeteria to sate the growls
clawing at his stomach.

"Same here," The older admitted, a smile twitching on his lips while the two stood a decent
distance away from one another.

"Let's hope there's still food, hm?"

And after quite the awkward walk down to the canteen, the two of them bought their food
and sat down in the far back away from the rest of the students. There wasn't a thick crowd,
for it was two hours after lunch, but luckily on weekends the cafeteria stayed open longer.

Taehyung didn't know why he decided to invite Jimin out to lunch with him. Of all people, he
chose to ask him. He wasn't sure if they were even on good terms since the last time they
spoke.

He poked around at his half-eaten macaroni and cheese, occasionally glancing over at Jimin
who seemed to be focused on his rice bowl. They haven't spoken a word since they sat down,
and he guessed it was because neither one of them knew where to start.

That was, until Jimin cleared his throat, and by accident their gazes met directly. Taehyung
gulped, eyeing the older before averting his gaze back to his food. Fuck, why was his chest so
tight?

"I want to say I'm sorry."

"You're what?" Taehyung nearly choked.

"I know my behavior was fucked up, and I treated you like shit, so I understand if you don't
want to forgive me 'cos me forcing you to do something lile that was inexcusable. I'm sorry,"
At first, he wasn't so sure if he was being genuine, so he looked up, daring to meet his stare
once more.

Jimin truly did look apologetic, or well, Taehyung supposed he did. The older was chewing
on the edge of his thumb, biting at the skin as he waited for his answer. An answer Taehyung
wasn't sure about. He blinked, struggling to think.

"And about the Jeongguk stuff, I'm sorry. We're not really friends anymore, but I still wish
him the best," Jimin chuckled half-heartedly as he poked around at his food with his
chopsticks.

Was Taehyung really hearing things right today?

"It's okay," Taehyung started, supposing since it happened months ago, and that Jimin seemed
genuine that maybe it was okay to move forward. "It was shitty of you, but we're past that."

The corner of Jimin's lips tugged upward, "I'm sorry, about that. I really am. I was just a
fucking mess, but that's not an excuse—,"

"— It's alright," The younger sighed, chewing at the inside of his cheek. "We're fine. I forgive
you."

"Right," Jimin scratched the side of his neck. "You really don't have to. I treated you like
shit."

"Jimin."

"Okay, sorry," The older set his chopsticks on the side, gently raising his hands up in defense.
"I'll stop. I know I should have realized it earlier though, but at least now you have
Jeongguk."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He raised an eyebrow at him, still somewhat unsure whether
he should really lower his guard. Probably not seeing that it was Jimin.

"I mean that I'm glad that you two are happy," Jimin said smoothly. "Jeongguk looks brighter
nowadays. You two really deserve one another. I'm sure he treats you right."

"Yeah, he does," Taehyung said warily. "If you still have something against him, you can tell
me."

"But then you would tattle to your boyfriend," Jimin shot back. At that, Taehyung's brows
knitted tight. The older sighed raggedly, before slouching in his chair, shoulders slumped.

"Sorry, that came out wrong. It's just, it's funny. I understand why he never worked out when
I look at you both," Jimin rambled. Okay, so maybe he was wrong.

"Still didn't answer my question. What's your point?" Taehyung leaned back in his seat, not
really in the mood for food anymore. Jimin sighed, carding his fingers through his hair.
"My point is that you're exactly what Jeongguk wants," Jimin said. "You've fit yourself to be
the last puzzle piece he needs. He wants somebody that could understand him and his
choices, and you do it well. You get him."

"I never understood Jeongguk," Jimin admitted before Taehyung could cut in. "He always put
volleyball above everything and everyone else, and I couldn't bring myself to understand
why."

"It's nice to see you support him choosing volleyball over your relationship."

"You don't know that," Taehyung tensed, suddenly regretting even inviting him, but he
noticed the older winced, and maybe it was another mistake. God, how many mistakes would
this guy make?

"That came out wrong again," Jimin pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fuck, I'm just saying, I
don't have the patience to deal with Jeongguk and volleyball. Props to you on that."

"Thanks," He said uneasily, still not quite sure if this was a good idea anymore, but by the
way Jimin stared down at his food, his expression having fallen into a look of regret, his
chest eased.

"M'not good at this, you see. Making friends. Small talk," The blonde said quietly. "I fuck
everything up pretty fast, and god, I'm rambling again. It's just, I'm not used to it. I've been
stuck with the same people for years and we rarely talk nowadays."

"What do you mean?" Taehyung slightly leaned forward, raising an eyebrow at the older.
Jimin simply shrugged.

"Ever since we had some personal issues, our friendgroup wasn't the same," Jimin murmured.
"It's nothing big, but I've been stuck with them for years, and now we don't talk anymore.
Jeongguk was the last friend I had until now."

"So you've been alone?" Taehyung asked.

"Yeah. We can say that. I suck at people skills. M'not as good as you think I am," Jimin
chuckled lightly, "but that doesn't matter much. I'm sorry if I'm talking your ear off."

"No, it's fine. I didn't know that you guys don't talk. That's horrible," He found himself
feeling bad, even though he shouldn't, but Taehyung did anyways. God, he was too nice—
Jeongguk bullied him about it, and he guessed it was true.

Maybe he should work on it, but this conversation. Fuck, this conversation. It wasn't
comparable to what they talked about in the convenience store, and yet, he had this feeling—
nostalgia, perhaps — that reminded him oddly of those long, late nights.

He thought it was just because they were sharing an actual decent conversation rather than
Taehyung just listening to him drone on and on. For once, they were actually talking to one
another, and he guessed it was just old memories resurfacing.

Surely not old feelings. Those were long gone.

"Can I be honest with you one more time?" The older asked, saving the conversation before it
died out yet again. Taehyung nodded for him to go, snapping out of his own thoughts.

"I really did remember what happened between us during the summer."

"Jimin... you don't have to—," Taehyung's shoulders sagged as he started to tell him they
should probably forget that, but the older raised his hand, silencing him.

"I was a jerk. I remember working with you and I guess I tried to shove you away because I
don't ever get like that with anyone," Jimin said softly, staring down at the table. "I was
scared. Scared you knew me personally, and I needed to get that image of me out of your
head."

"But that's not necessary," He spoke up, voice teetering on the edge of a waver, and yet he
still seemed to be speak carefully, smoothly. "It was no excuse to treat you like shit."

"Those shifts were the only times you made me feel accompanied, y'know? I felt like I had a
friend."

"Jimin-ssi," Taehyung sighed, folding his hands over the table as he leaned forward in his
chair. "I told you, it's okay. We're past that."

"Do you remember how we talked about comics? I adored them, but everyone I partied with
hates them. Thinks they're immature. My dad thought they were a waste of time," Jimin
ignored him, continuing on, pressing the memories onto him until they played vividly again
in his mind.

Those hazy, muggy evenings when the only cool air they got was the shitty fan on the
counter. The nights where they were drenched in sweat and shared their snacks and drinks
while they talked about everything and nothing at all.

The nights where Taehyung found a new friend, or well, somebody that suddenly caught his
poor heart and nutured it with the same care he did with their relationship.

Somebody who treated him like a person and didn't once mention his looks. Somebody who
gave him a chance. Somebody who shared his interests, who seemed interested in him.

"Ever since my mom died and I lost Jeongguk, you felt like a friend that I needed at the
time," Jimin whispered. "Thank you for that."

"Your mother died?" Fuck, now he couldn't help but feel guilty for the blonde. Jimin nodded.

"And Jeongguk was ignoring me at the time. You saw him a few times. He was there, but I
don't think you noticed him 'cuz we were always laughing so hard," Jimim chuckled.

"I miss those times," He sighed, pushing his hair behind his ear. "Do you?"

"I did. It was the best summer of my life," Taehyung found himself admitting. At that, Jimin
smiled, and for once, it wasn't small and reserved but rather wide, lighter even.
It was like a light was suddenly replaced, and now it shined even brighter.

"Do you think, and I know that this is asking very much especially because of what happened
in the past," Jimin chuckled uneasily, his hand cupping the side of his neck, ringed fingers
scratching at the patch of fair skin.

"I told you we're past that," Taehyung crossed his arms over his chest, genuinely curious to
what the older had to say. "What's up?"

"It's just," Jimin murmured, "I want to know if we can go back to being that way, if possible."

"You want to what?" He lifted an eyebrow at him, u sure if he was hearing things right. Jimin
swallowed before tilting his chin up, his gaze directly meeting his and there, on his lips, was
that smile.

That same smile he gave him when they first met in that convenience store all that time ago.
Fuck.

"I want to know if we can restart," Jimin said steadily, oblivious to the way Taehyung's
heartbeat thrased around in his chest, the rush of his blood pumping through him drowning
out the noise in the cafeteria.

"I want to know if we can be friends again."

 the part & the whole

♡♡♡

"Six months later, and finally you have the time for me," Jeongguk teased as he found
himself sitting down in the same chair he did all that time ago in front of his father, but this
time instead of that look of disapproval it was a proud one.

Funny, how much things could change in a span of time. To think, six months ago, Jeongguk
was lost and pissed off and a mess when he entered this office last. He laughed looking back
at it, really, how he used to be so stupid.

Fucking people when he couldn't stand himself or the stress. Chasing trouble to find a thrill, a
purpose in his life that wasn't just volleyball. Spending time with friends that really weren't
the people he used to love.

Six months ago, this was where he met Taehyung. He was leaning against that wall with his
old hair and glasses, and his prim and proper school uniform that he remembered making fun
of.

Usually he didn't pay attention to much people, but he remembered Taehyung taking up so
much of his peripheral vision, it drove him insane. Maybe that was some sort of sign.

If this never happened, he wouldn't be dating the most incredible boy ever, or be falling so
inexplicably hard for Kim Taehyung, every fiber of his being lived and breathed for him.

God, he couldn't really imagine himself without him, and hopefully that would never happen.

"I took a leave," His dad shrugged, adjusting his wired glasses over his shadowy features.
Usually he was clean shaven, but telling by the last couple of months' events, his dad
probably didn't have time to clean up.

"Had to visit your mom, help around, and see the girls again, y'know," He chuckled, folding
his hands over his desk. "She's getting better, thankfully. Your mother is a fighter."

"Maybe she can make your Olympic game."

"Yeah, hopefully," Jeongguk nodded a little, playing with his fingers over his lap. "Are we
waiting for Taehyung, dad?" He asked, glancing up to meet his father's gentle gaze.

His dad seemed a little surprised to hear him say his name, but the older Jeon was quick to
mask it with a smile, "M'afraid that we don't need Taehyung here. Let's think of this as a little
chat between father and son, hm?"

"Sure," He said, shrugging as he went along with it, "but I know we're probably gonna end up
talking about volleyball so could we skip to that?"

"You're eager, hm. Well, I wanted to discuss your behavior lately, and thanks to Taehyung, I
see you have improved greatly," His dad said, reaching over for the manila folder on his desk
and spreading it open, revealing his student record.

"No delinquent activity. Your attendance is perfect, and I hadn't received any complaint of
your sexual activity," He praised, flicking through the sheets of paper all under Jeongguk's
name.

"Taehyung really must have had a good effect on you! Was it his disciplinary skills?
Taehyung's very good at giving punishment to students."

"We can say that, yeah," Jeongguk swallowed thickly, staring awkwardly at his lap, trying to
hide the way his cheeks flushed with a certain and rather embarassing warmth after
getting inappropriate flashbacks to the night Jeongguk sent his history project in late.

"And I also heard Taehyung filed a moving request. You two live together willingly. I also
heard you two are very friendly in campus," His dad raised an eyebrow at him, and god,
Jeongguk wished they weren't talking about this right now.

"Think I heard something about dating rumors?"

"Dad," He murmured, voice slightly whiny, teetering on the edge of strained. "Can we please
just talk about volleyball?" His dad merely chuckled.

"Jeongguk, I'm messing with you. It just makes me happy you found someone to spend time
with," He let out a hearty laugh much to the embarrassment of his own son. "Taehyung's a
really good person."

"He is," Jeongguk agreed, still refusing to meet his dad's stare unless he wanted to
disintegrate into a puddle right then and there. "He really is."

He softened at the mere idea of him, and he found it humoring how easy it was to picture his
face in his mind. It made sense, for he memorized every inch of Taehyung's body and his
features so he could picture him any time he want if he missed him.

There was just something about seeing the little box of happiness on his lips that brightened
up any room and erased every single one of his stresses. It was the way his mere presence
made everything feel okay.

In the end, things would be okay, and one look at Taehyung reminded him that after
everything, things will resolve. Things would make sense.

Taehyung thought it was dumb at first when he told him so while the two were tangled in the
bed sheets back in Jeongguk's room. He was butt-naked, on his stomach, while Jeongguk
leaned on his side, tracing his finger down the dimples on his back mindlessly.
"Why are you staring at me like that?" Taehyung asked, curiousity flashing in his narrowed
eyes while he twirled a strand of Jeongguk's hair around his index.

"M'just trying to remember you," Jeongguk said, smiling lazily up at the older. "Can I not
keep you as a memory in my mind?"

"Gguk, that's dumb. I'm right here. I'll never be a memory you look back on," Taehyung
snorted, swatting his shoulder. "We'll be making memories together, not apart."

"That's sappy," He chuckled, a soft smile blossoming over his lips. "But I wanna keep you in
my head just in case."

"Why? Are you breaking up with me already?" The older teased, resting his hand over
Jeongguk's chest.

"Never," Jeongguk leaned up, pressing a kiss to his lips, feeling his smile against his own. "I
just wanna treasure you, bun. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"I also heard you took him home. Are you two really that serious?" His dad's words snapped
him out of his thoughts, and it took him a moment to realize his father was speaking to him
this entire time.

Jeongguk blinked, "Um, yeah. We're serious about it." His dad's eyes widened, what seemed
like a mix of genuine happiness and shock filtering through his aged features.

"That's amazing. I'm happy if you're happy son. You chose well," Mr. Jeon smiled brightly,
shutting his file closed. "In that case, to make you happier, I want to let you know that I sent
your applications out a bit back."

"You did what?!" Jeongguk shot up in his seat, clutching the sides of his chair. He did not do
that. This had to be some joke?

"Sent it all around. You're quite the popular student. Colleges all over Korea and some
overseas want to have you," His father nodded proudly. "I know you want to stay in Seoul,
but there's some good colleges in Japan if you're going to play for them."

"Japan?" He asked, brow furrowing as he sank back into his chair, the excitement in his heart
thrashing around his chest, but for some reason this didn't feel too good. "What do you
mean?"

"They want you to leave for Japan right the day after graduation."

"W-what?" Jeongguk froze, suddenly feeling like a weight just slammed down on his
shoulders, forcing him to his chair.

"Oh? I thought you knew that the Japan team wants you to live there. They're more than
happy to have you, so they requested me to ask you this," Mr. Jeon's enthusiasm drifted off
when he realized his son was slumped in his seat.
"Is that not what you want?" His father asked, but Jeongguk after some time, he shook his
head. He slowly peered up at his father, lips pressed tight, and throat suddenly closing shut.

"It's what I always wanted," Jeongguk murmured truthfully, vowels wobbling off his tongue.
"T-That was my dream." But why didn't he sound happy?

"Oh son, is this about Taehyung? This opportunity is a once in a life time, and I'm sure he
would get it. It's your career, and Taehyung's the first of many. You will find someone when
you settle—,"

"—Dad, he's not just another person," He cut him off, inhaling sharply as he tried to get a
grip of himself. He curled his fingers into fists, letting them drop into his lap like paper
weights.

"Jeongguk, I'm just saying," His father retorted. "You are young and good looking and smart.
This boyfriend of yours is the first of many. You have the rest of your life to find someone
permanent—,"

"— He's not just some temporary fling," Jeongguk's voice trembled as he struggled to meet
the older man's stare. "He's so much more than that."

"Jeongguk, you're only seventeen. It's teenage infatuation."

"No," Jeongguk whispered, chest hollowed, his heartbeat merely static in his ears. "I know I
have my whole future on the line. I already know everything."

Then why haven't you made the choice? He closed his eyes, unable to swallow the lump
forming in his throat. Why didn't you make the choice if you know what it is?

"Then why aren't you jumping on this opportunity?" His dad asked, pressing further. "This is
all you ever wanted, son. This is what you worked for! Don't tell me you're throwing it away
—,"

"—I'm not throwing it away!" Jeongguk suddenly snapped, sitting up straight in his chair.

His jaw clenched, realizing what he had just done, how wrong that was of him. He steadily
sank back into his seat, watching his father's expression fade into something
unreadable. Fuck, he messed up.

"Jeon Jeongguk, I don't want you to throw your life away for a boy. I understand that he
means a lot to you, and that maybe you might love him, but you shouldn't hold eachother
back," His dad's tone was surprisingly soft, gentle even.

"Look what it did to your mother. I made her miserable, holding her back," He murmured. "I
don't want you to miss out on something."

"I know dad," Jeongguk sighed unevenly, running his shaking palms down his face. He
leaned forward, face covered as he tried to calm his breathing.

"If you love someone enough—,"

"— You'll want them happy even if it isn't with you. I know," He whispered half-heartedly,
glancing up from his trembling hands. "But Dad, what if I'm not happy?"

"Well that's just love, son. Nobody wins. Everybody loses at one point. And if you want my
opinion, I say let them go unless you're willing to work for it," His dad said. "It can work, but
it's better to end things before they crash and burn."

But that's not fair, he wanted to scream, to shout, and tell him. That's not fair you're making
me choose. He wanted to fight back, to tell him he was so fucking wrong, and yet he couldn't
because he was right. Painfully right.

Because he had to choose, and whatever decision he made would hurt everyone and
everything.

Fuck, he didn't want to choose. He didn't want to make the decision, knowing Taehyung
would be broken if he left, and there was no way he could live with himself if he was the one
who put out the brightness in Taehyung's features.

And there was no way he could live if he threw away his volleyball dream.

"Dad, I really...," Jeongguk's voice drifted off, the words stuck in the hollow of his throat as
he tried to fight the burning in his eyes. "H-He's so important to me." He whispered weakly.

"I know he is," The older man replied quietly.

"I don't want to lose him. I c-can't."

"I know, son. But whatever happens, I'll support you," His dad murmured, "and I know it's
hard, but this is your future. Think about it some more, yeah? You got those training camps
next month to help you decide." He nodded numbly.

"M'sorry it has to be this way Jeongguk," He sighed.

Me too, Jeongguk thought, slouching forward in his chair as he scrambled to put at least one
coherent thought together in his mind but failing every time, for the words in his head slipped
past his hands and broke apart.

They clumped together, creating this confusion that left him torn in half. His eyes stung,
burning faintly as he blinked rapidly, trying to keep himself together in the presence of his
father.

Fuck, this shouldn't be so hard, and yet, here he was, making the decision that could end
everything.

But he realized there was still time, and there was a chance he could have both. Yes, he could
have both, but the more he told himself he could, the less he believed his own words.
♡♡♡
 ♡♡♡

"Why are you here and not on some hot date?" Jae shoved Jeongguk gently to the side,
making space on Yugyeom's single bed for the both of them before bringing his feet up and
crossing his legs.

Honestly I don't know either, Jeongguk wanted to say but he couldn't bring himself to speak
unless he wanted to burst into ugly, frustrated tears. It really wasn't an option, so he kept his
mouth shut.

"He came to our door an hour ago," Yugyeom said, leaning against San as the duo were on
the floor, playing videogames on the tv they managed to shove into their dorm.

"He hasn't told us a thing, so we gave him banana milk, wrapped him in warm blankets, and
we let him mope," San waved his controller at the bundle-shaped Jeongguk.

"Poor guy looked like a lost bunny."

"Jeongguk, if something's wrong, why didn't you go to Tae?" Jae asked him, nudging his
side. "You never come to us like this, and you know that."

"Jae, just let him be," Yugyeom said with a sigh. "We tried to get him to open up but he won't
budge."

"If he wants to drown his sorrows in banana milk, let him! We all cope somehow."

"I think if he wants to talk about it— fuck you Gyeom! Eat my ass you little shit nugget!" All
three boys stared at San, genuine concern mirroring in their confused stares. San chuckled
awkwardly.

"Sorry. We're playing mario kart," He gulped, gesturing at the screen in front of them. Jae
merely raised an eyebrow at his cousin, and San simply ignored him, returning back to the
game.

"What San meant was that we let him be," Yugyeom finished for him, averting his attention
back to the screen.
"We're here when he needs us."

"Well that is a shit plan," Jae mumbled beside Jeongguk, leaning back against the wall as he
fixed his stare at the two idiots playing videogames.

"You do know we can talk right?" He turned toward the older, expression still as his gaze met
Jae's. "I know I'm no Taehyung. I don't know you like he does..."

"But I'll give it my best shot if you let me."

Jeongguk studied the older, teeth biting down on his lips, picking at the skin. Jae wasn't really
one to have his emotions (or his heart) out on his sleeve, and his usual accessory was the
typical frown that the three of them found very endearing in his own edgy Jae way.

But this time, the frown he wore was different, and he wasn't just saying that. Jae's brows
were drawn together, and there, in his usually unbothered eyes was a flicker of concern—
worry, even.

It was rare coming from Jae, who pretended like nothing ever bothered him.

Or well, until now, and Jeongguk supposed he could try. It wasn't Taehyung, but he would try.
It wasn't like he was able to face him anytime soon without struggling to breathe properly but
not in a good way.

Being suffocated around Taehyung was the last thing he wanted to happen.

He jutted his chin over at San and Yugyeom, hoping Jae got the idea, and luckily he did. Jae
forcefully threw a pillow at Yugyeom's head, sending the poor guy toppling forward.

The blonde turned around to shout a profanity at him until Jae gave him a death glare,
causing the curse to die on his tongue.

"You could've just asked," Yugyeom grumbled softly. "You're like a scary, evil vampire, Jae-
hyung." The oldest rolled his eyes.

"Scram, losers," Jae lifted another pillow to chuck at San's direction, and thankfully the two
got up and understood. Yugyeom nodded toward Jeongguk, even patting his shoulder as he
ushered San out.

"When you're happy, I'll challenge you to a game of mario kart, alright?" San said before
Yugyeom tried to push him out the door.

"Challenge him later. Let me take you to the coffee shop downstairs," Yugyeom grabbed the
boy by the shoulders, forcing him through the door. "We'll be back."

"Yes indeed! I'll be back, caffeinated, and it'll be your turn to be destroyed at the hands of
Choi San!"

"C'mon you little munchkin," Yugyeom spared an apologetic look at Jae and San, finally
getting him past the door. "Feel better Gguk!" He called over his shoulder, hand on the door
handle.

Jeongguk nodded, a smile twitching on his lips before he bit it back, averting his gaze to his
lap. Leave it to Yugyeom and San to make things feel okay for even just a second.

Eventually, the chatter and complaints died away, and the screams of San threatening to
barrel roll into Yugyeom ended. The dorm surprisingly fell silent, leaving them both alone.
Jeongguk inhaled shakily, leaning back into the wall, fingers digging into the blankets
wrapped around his shoulders.

"So, are you gonna tell me why you're avoiding your boyfriend?" Jae asked, drumming his
fingers over his thigh. "We could start there."

"And I know it's not because of bad sex 'cuz you talk about him banging you to another
intergalactic dimension all the time."

"Was that really necessary?" Jeongguk croaked, smacking Jae's shoulder as he felt that
familiar flame brush over his cheeks.

"It got a response out of you, so yeah," Jae smirked smugly, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Are you gonna tell me or not? We got all the time, and if you don't, I must result to torture."

"You wouldn't," Jeongguk snorted. Jae rolled his eyes.

"Oh yes I would. I'm a scary vampire who has lived a thousand years with my own torture
chamber. Be my guest and be my next victim," Jae said sarcastically, even snorting lightly
when the younger gave him an unamused look.

"What? I'm trying to be funny," The older raised his hands up in defense, a chuckle slipping
past his lips.

"You sound morbid," He murmured, unable to fight back the little grin fluttering on his lips.
"And you don't have to torture me. I was just gonna tell you I was talking to my dad about
volleyball."

"Ooh the sport where you hit a ball around really hard, shout, and slam it to the ground," Jae
nodded, ignoring the eyeroll Jeongguk gave him. "Is it about the Japan thing though?"

"Bingo," Jeongguk nodded, shoulders slumping the second his ears picked up Japan. "My
dad told me sent all my college applications, and apparently I got some opportunities in
Japan."

"That sounds... oh shit. Is this what this is about? You have to choose between volleyball and
your little lover boy?" Again, the younger nodded. Jae sighed softly, shifting so that his hands
were between his legs.

"I thought I knew what I wanted, but then I met him. I met Taehyung," Jeongguk whispered,
staring at his palms as though he was searching for the answer he desperately needed, and yet
there wasn't one.
"I had it all figured out. I denied my friend over the summer who had feelings for me so I
could focus on volleyball. I spent every second I could on it to get where I am," He
murmured softly, letting his eyes fall shut.

"Volleyball is my dream, Jae. It's my life."

"But what about Taehyung?" Jae asked, and fuck, Jeongguk was ready to tell him every
reason why he appreciated him, wanted him, and couldn't stand a second without him by his
side.

But he simplified it, instead saying, "He's the best part of my life." And that seemed to be
enough for Jae, for he hummed along, nodding at every word.

"Have you two talked about it?" This time, he shook his head. Jae tsked. "You dumbass, you
need to talk about it. If you don't talk about things—,"

"— I know. Trust me, I know," Jeongguk ran a hand down his face, wanting to erase himself
for how fucking conflicted he felt. "I know, but I don't know."

"This is a hard decision," Jae said smoothly. No shit. "But it's not impossible. You can make a
choice that either caters to all you want, or you just choose one or the other, which I'm sure
you don't want."

"Exactly," Jeongguk shoved his fingers through his hair, slightly tugging at his scap, wincing
at the dull ache in the back of his skull.

"It's either Taehyung, or volleyball, and people are telling me both won't even work."

"Why are you letting them tell you what to do?" Jae raised an eyebrow at him. "Don't listen
to them. This is all between Taehyung and you. They shouldn't even matter." He wished it
was that easy.

"But what if they're right?" He retorted back, grasping at a fistful of locks. "If I choose Tae,
and all my hardwork is gone. If I choose volleyball, the best thing that's ever happened to me
will leave."

And I don't want him to, he didn't say, but the both of them knew what he truly meant.

"Jeongguk, I can't tell you what decision to make," Jae stressed. "I can give you my input, but
in the end, this is your decision." He watched as the younger deflated beside him.

"But, what I think, is that you shouldn't have to choose if you really love both. You can make
it work, but it will be hard since you'll be gone a lot. It's not impossible. It's there, but it's not
easy either," Jae explained, his hands moving along with his every word.

"You can try it, but you have to talk to Taehyung. You can't cancel on him, and you can't hide
from him, alright?" The older sighed, his fingers grabbing onto his shoulder, squeezing him.

"You two are together— boyfriends. You're not two individuals anymore," Jae whispered.
"There's so much more to consider and you need to talk it out to figure this out."
"W-what if I fuck up?" Jeongguk asked, voice slightly cracking as he forced himself to meet
the older's surprisingly gentle stare. Jae squeezed his shoulder harder.

"Then you fuck up, Gguk. We all fuck up, and it all matters on the way we handle those fuck-
ups," Jae murmured. "We create damage and we fix damage. It's who we are, and we won't
learn unless we fuck up and own up to those mistakes."

"I don't want to make a mistake, hyung," Jeongguk shook his head, his bottom lip beginning
to tremble. "This i-isn't some life lesson. This is Taehyung, and my career. I-I'm losing
something either choice I make, and I-I don't want to."

"I-I don't know how to handle this," He continued, stumbling over his words as his throat
suddenly began to swell shut once more.

"M'scared, Jae. I-I don't want to fuck up."

I don't want to lose Taehyung.

But even so, deep down he knew he didn't want to lose volleyball either. He dreaded the idea
of tossing aside an opportunity he spent years working hard for in order to achieve his dream,
and yet, part of him hated the idea of it if it meant losing Taehyung.

God, this was complicated, but there was no where in him that ever regretted involving
himself with Taehyung. If he didn't, he couldn't imagine where he would be, or what he
would do.

He was on the verge of losing his mind, losing his purpose, until he met him. Until he
enchanted him with his stupid puns and dad jokes, won him over with his dorky smile, his
personality, and being the only thing besides volleyball to hold his heart.

He loved volleyball ever since his mother showed him how to play, but the way he felt for
Taehyung wasn't enough for a small, overly-used four-letter word. No word could possibly
contain the same amount of care he had for him.

Sure, he was young and his experience with all of these types of things weren't as finessed,
but one look at Taehyung and he knew. He knew this was his always, his person, his best
friend, and the boy that won him over since the start.

That should have been it— the deal breaker— but it wasn't. What was holding him back?

Jae merely sighed, throwing his arms around the younger and pulling him close. It was a bit
awkward, for Jae wasn't really one for expressing his love with skinship, and Jeongguk felt a
little odd being caged in his bony arms, but neither of them said a word.

While it might have been awkward as hell, Jeongguk appreciated it.

"I can't promise you that you won't fuck up, and it's scary. I get that," Jae murmured, leaning
his head against Jeongguk's.

"But you should give this more time. You're clearly not ready for anything."
"Eventually I have to choose though," Jeongguk mumbled, feeling the older awkwardly rub
his hand up and down his back. He gently nudged his stomach, which made Jae exhale in
relief and went back to just simply holding him.

"Yeah, and I'll support whatever you choose. I'm sure Taehyung will too," Jae patted his
shoulder. "It will all make sense in the end, Gguk."

"Hopefully," He inhaled shakily, trying to believe his own words. "Thank you," He added,
swallowing back the worry clogging his throat and forcing a weak smile onto his lips.

"It's nothing," Jae patted his back gently, the edge of his lip tugged upwards. "Everything will
work out if you put your mind to it. Now go to your boyfriend. I can feel Yugyeom and San's
presence outside." He chuckled lightly, pushing Jeongguk off the bed.

"How can you do that?" He found himself giggling, pushing back at Jae but nonetheless,
getting to his feet as he tossed the blanket back at him. Jae simply shrugged.

"The vibrate on strong frequencies of dumbassery," Jae said, and that was enough of an
explaination.

Before Jeongguk could reply, the door burst open, and there stood Yugyeom and San holding
bags of pastries and sipping what looked to be iced coffee. They eyed one another and back
at Jeongguk and Jae, who seemed equally amused.

"Is Jeongguk leaving?" Yugyeom asked, pointing his straw toward him. Jeongguk nodded,
walking over to where the two stood and patting each of their shoulders.

"He's gonna see his boyfriend," Jae teased, earning an eyeroll from Jeongguk, though deep
down both of them knew he didn't mean it.

"So you're choosing dick over us? Mario kart?" San asked, to which Jeongguk let out a laugh
at— one that wasn't at all forced, and finally he felt like he was breathing even if it was for a
moment.

"I'll see you guys later," Jeongguk eventually said, before waving goodbye to the boys and
heading out to go back to where his home was.

"Did he come to a decision?" Yugyeom asked, crashing beside Jae on the bed while San went
back to play some mario kart.

"Nope," Jae said, crossing his arms. "Nowhere close to a decision, but I have a feeling he's
going to take a while."

"We all know he doesn't have a while. The school year's ending, and we're all graduating,"
San called over his shoulder. "It's either volleyball or Tae."

"We all know they can't make both work," San said in a matter of fact way.

"Long distance is rough on a lot of people."

"Talk about having faith in them," Jae grumbled, chuckling a pillow at his cousin, who
managed to dodge it. He turned to Yugyeom, who flinched, holding his arms up to defend
himself.

"I didn't say anything!" Yugyeom defended, "and if you ask me, I kinda want them to stay
together. We all know it's not just some teenage love thing. Gguk's world spins for
Taehyung."

"Well you got a point," San piped up. "But if his world spins for him, wouldn't he have
chosen him already?"

"Yeah, but then there's volleyball. Jeongguk's been playing for years. He just met Taehyung a
couple months ago," Yugyeom sighed, slouching when he realized this wasn't as easy as he
thought.

"This sucks man," Yugyeom cried out, sadly drinking from his straw. "I want them to work
out!"

"Me too," San agreed, staring down at his lap. "They give me a reason to believe in love." He
pouted.

"You guys," Jae sighed, shaking his head. "We gotta support Jeongguk no matter what. We're
his friends, so whatever he chooses, we back up."

"Why do you sound so sure?" Yugyeom grumbled.

"Because," Jae said, "I have an idea of what he's going to do. M'not gonna say—,"

"—Well you gotta say it now!" San said, turning over to look at them both. "You can't be all
Mr. Brooding and not tell us shit after you declare it!"

"I was not brooding."

"Yeah you were. Jae, you're the defintion of an edgy e-boy on tiktok who posts videos of
them with their LEDs lipsyncing to some depressing audio."

"That's very descriptive," Jae raised an eyebrow at his cousin. "Should I be concerned?"

"Just tell us what you're thinking!" Yugyeom cut them both off. "Please," He added, and soon
enough, Jae gulped, giving in.

"Fine," Jae whispered. The two others sat up, listening to him closely, quietly.

"The thing about Jeongguk," Jae murmured softly, scratching the side of his neck. "Is that
while he lives and breathes for Taehyung, his heart beats for volleyball. Volleyball has been a
part of him since the beginning— it's his life line."

"So what are you saying?" Yugyeom asked, the skin between his brows creasing. Jae
shrugged, a tired sigh escaping past his lips.
"It's either he chooses the thing that gives him life, or the one that makes him feel life is
worth living."

"And what do you think he will choose?" San whispered softly, his voice almost drowned out
by the sound of the television.

Neither one of them said a thing, dreading to accept that they already knew his choice. It was
obvious.

"Volleyball," Jae croaked, words breaking apart, unable to hold together. "It's going to be
volleyball."

♡♡♡

"You're finally back," Taehyung leaned against the kitchen counter, arms crossed over his
chest when he noticed the younger slide inside from behind the door.

He glanced up at him, their gazes meeting, and from there, Taehyung flashed him a small
smile. He slowly started toward him, walking to his boyfriend, oblivious to the way Jeongguk
tensed when he finally approached him.

He reached out, his hands sliding up Jeongguk's arms and over his shoulders before sitting on
the junction where his neck met his collarbones. The older stared right at him, smile
struggling to hold before he pulled him close.

"I missed you today," Taehyung murmured, and that was true. He would have said he was
lonely, but he wasn't.

Lately, when Jeongguk was busy doing whatever he needed to do, he spent his time with his
friends. On the days Jin and Hoseok were free, they spent their time together and hung
around, watching movies, or eating food until they were stuffed.

But other times when they were too busy, he spent that time with Jimin.

He honestly didn't think it would have worked out, for he was still a bit skeptical of Jimin's
sudden change of heart. He wasn't stupid; he wasn't going to forget that easily what the older
did to him.

Although, the lunches he shared with Jimin when Jeongguk was AWOL happened to lighten
up his mood when missing Jeongguk made him frown more often and become all whiny and
sad. It was odd, but it Taehyung liked his company.

They ate in the cafeteria, and every day they had something new to talk about. Sometimes it
was about volleyball and school, and other times it was the basic conversation starters.

Favorite colors, memories, food, comics, songs— the gist of getting to know someone. In
that time, no conversation went boring, and those moments reminded him of the summer
before all of this happened.

The way Jimin threw himself onto the nearest object when he laughed, how his eyes turned
into little half moons, and the way his laughter was so contagious it ended up making
Taehyung burst into his own.

He somehow forgot about time around Jimin, and he supposed that was what good company
did. They ate and talked about everything and nothing, and then the nostalgia he once missed
became a moment he guessed he appreciated.

But nothing beat the times he spent with Jeongguk.

There was nothing left in his heart for Jimin anymore.

"I missed you too," Jeongguk replied after what seemed like forever, his soft and gentle as his
hands found their special place on his waist.

"How was your day?" He asked, cupping his jaw with his palms, reveling in the way
Jeongguk's fingers dug into his hips as if he let go, he would lose him.

"Tiring. How was yours?" Jeongguk leaned forward, his nose brushed against the side of
Taehyung's cheek. Taehyung simply hummed.

He wasn't going to tell him about Jimin just yet, for he wasn't sure how he would react. They
never talked about him, but from what Jimin told him was that they had a nasty fall-out. It
explained why he was quiet for a week, but other than that, he didn't know anything about
their relationship.

Made him wonder what else Jeongguk was hiding from him, to be honest.

But he pushed all those thoughts aside for later, focusing on the fact Jeongguk was here now!
In front of him! Finally touching him!

"It was okay. Boring without you though. You missed the entire half of the school day,"
Taehyung said, feeling the younger trail his lips over his jaw.

"My dad wanted to speak to me, and I had a meeting with the Japan coaches," Jeongguk
explained to him, warm breath tickling his cheek. "M'sorry, Specs"

"Don't be. You're busy, and I'll be busy too, so you won't have to worry!" He said, letting his
eyes fall shut as the younger's lips drifted down the expanse of his neck.
"Busy? Why's that?" Jeongguk asked, mumbling against his throat. Taehyung shivered, hands
finding purchase on his shoulders when he nipped at the skin, teasing it between his teeth.

"End of the school year shit. Have to plan the dances, graduation, and get stuff for the
incoming freshman. I have college stuff to sort out," He said, gripping Jeongguk's shoulders
harder.

"So we won't see each other anymore?" Jeongguk pulled back, his brows creased. Taehyung
lifted an eyebrow at him.

"What makes you say that?" Taehyung lightly punched his chest. "You're being weird. Of
course we'll see each other. We'll make time."

"Right, we'll make time," Jeongguk repeated, and for some reason he sounded detached,
distant, but before Taehyung could reply he was kissing him.

He couldn't think when Jeongguk's lips were on his, moving fluently over his own, slowly,
carefully as he seemed to kiss him with this sort of hesitation the older wasn't quite sure
whether it was a figment of his overthinking tendancies. But he casted it aside, pulling him
closer, eager to taste more.

God, he missed Jeongguk. Missed his warm musk that intermingled with his detergent that
made his clothes smell all fresh and wonderful. He missed the warmth of his mouth against
his own, the softness, and his mere presence that released this particular burst of happiness
throughout his system.

It hadn't been long since they had last spoken, but he supposed things felt a little altered since
Jeongguk cancelled their date tonight for the first time.

Hopefully it wouldn't happen again, but seeing that they were busy, he might as well prepare
himself.

"Wanna eat first?" Taehyung asked, pulling away for some air, his forehead leaning against
Jeongguk's.

"Why eat when I have you?" Jeongguk teased, and there, that sparkle. It was there, and
Taehyung felt his chest ease having that sort of comfort.

"You're horny already?" He giggled, flicking his boyfriend's chin (he would never get tired of
calling him that).

"Can't even wait an hour?"

"I waited all day, baby," Jeongguk muttered, leaning forward and quickly working his way
back to his neck, teasing the skin with his teeth before suckling love bites in their wake.

Taehyung's eyes fell shut, a low, throaty rumble vibrating in his throat as Jeongguk sucked
harshly on the bare flesh before swiping his tongue over the blossoming hickey. He tilted his
head back, sighing while he fiddled with Jeongguk's collar.
"Take me to your room then," Taehyung whispered, acting on whatever this hot twisting
feeling in his stomach was. Jeongguk nodded, and swiftly, he scooped him up, carrying him
like he weighed nothing.

Jeongguk kissed him on the way, completely engrossed and relying on mere memory to make
it to Jeongguk's bedroom. This time it was eager, more passionate, messy even, for their
noses bumped and edges of their teeth clinked.

He kissed him like he was trying to erase his memory, make him forget everything unless it
was Jeongguk. Then all his thoughts would be just him, and that he didn't complain about.

It was all hasty, fast-paced, lust-driven, though Taehyung didn't see anything wrong with it.
Clothes were quickly discarded, hands grabbed at whatever they could, touching, feeling,
sliding over smooth expanse of skin. Lips danced and tongues clashed in a frenzy of want
and need.

Jeongguk hadn't said a word even when Taehyung was naked beneath him, moans tumbling
from his lips onto the pillow as the younger fucked into his prostate from behind. He gasped,
clawing at the sheets, pushing his hips back to meet every thrust.

Usually by now, Jeongguk would say something, would tell him he was beautiful, or at least
crack some sort of joke to ruin the mood before picking it back up together again.

But this Jeongguk was oddly quiet except for the occasional grunt when he snapped his hips,
plunging further into his boyfriend in order to pleasure him properly.

Clearly, something was on his mind when Taehyung glanced at him over his shoulder. It held
Jeongguk in this fog, and there, the stars in his eyes were harder to see. Taehyung bit down
on his lip, turning back to his pillow, hoping this was all in his head.

Of course, the sex never failed to be amazing, and when they came, Jeongguk got up to clean
up silent yet again. Even when he cleaned him up of their cum and Jeongguk pressed his
naked body into the slot behind Taehyung, not a single word was exchanged.

It was weird, and maybe he supposed Jeongguk was tired today. Something had to be on his
mind; it was obvious when Taehyung shifted around to face him.

Jeongguk was staring off into space, seemingly not in the same place Taehyung was. Brows
creasing, he lifted his hand up to his boyfriend's cheek, heart jolting when Jeongguk blinked,
snapping out of his daze.

"Are you alright? You're awfully quiet tonight," Taehyung brushed aside his sweaty locks
behind his ear, concern lacing his vowels.

"Just thinking," Jeongguk muttered, leaning into his touch. At least there was that.

"If you weren't in the mood, you could have let me take care of you," He whispered, stroking
his cheek, fingers running down the curve of his jaw.

"Is there something you wanna talk about?"

Something shifts over Jeongguk's features, and what looked like a grimace made Taehyung's
heart clench. He scooted closer, warm body pressing against his beneath the cover of
Jeongguk's duvet as he used both of his hands to capture Jeongguk's face in his palms.

"You can tell me," Taehyung murmured, smiling softly at the younger, whose gaze flitted
over to meet his own. "I'll listen."

"I had a talk with my dad," Jeongguk started, and finally, Taehyung could release his breath.
So it wasn't something he did wrong. Good to know.

"We were discussing stuff about me joining the Japan team and all of that," He explained,
voice wavering ever so slightly that Taehyung almost missed it.

"They want me right away."

"And what do you mean by right away?" Taehyung asked. Jeongguk inhaled sharply,
reaching up and placing his hand over the older's.

"I'm going to be more busy, Tae," Jeongguk cleared his throat. "More trips to Japan. More
camps. More hours spent at practice." Upon hearing those words, the smile Taehyung wore
slipped from his lips.

"So what are you trying to say?" He asked quietly, hands on Jeongguk's jaw falling limp.

"I'm not saying anything bad, Tae," The younger murmured. "I'm just saying that I'm going to
be more busy, and we need to figure out what we're going to do."

"So you're leaving me?"

"Taehyung," Jeongguk started, but the older cut him off.

"Breaking up isn't an option," He breathed, the words falling out of his mouth before he could
shove them back in with the rest of his thoughts. But it was already too late, and Jeongguk's
hand retreated to his side.

"Never said we were going to break up," Jeongguk said, and there, in his eyes, hurt glowed
faintly in the pools of dark brown.

"I told you I'd never break up with you."

It was already too late. Panic was already seizing his throat, making his lungs tight and his
heart race faster in his squeezing chest. Taehyung swallowed, nodding dumbly, but it was
then did he pull back from him, staring at the space of sheets between them.

"Hear me out," Jeongguk whispered, though his voice was muted over the rush of blood in
the older's ears. "I just wanted to let you know okay?"

"Yeah, I know. I hear you," Taehyung lied. He couldn't hear him. All of it was static in his
ears; a white noise he couldn't stop.
"M'not trying to imply anything bad, but this is my chance. I worked hard for this," He said
softly, trying to reason withhim. "This is my dream."

You're my dream. Jeongguk said a bit ago, hugging him while the two of them were beneath a
tree in the courtyard, studying together since the weather was decent. I dream about you all
the time.

Funny how those words suddenly came to mind, crushing him even though they probably
held no significant meaning.

Volleyball was Jeongguk's everything— Taehyung knew he could never compare to

something that made up the entirety of his life when he was just a replaceable part.

He shouldn't be this hurt; did he even have the right to be hurt? He even knew this all along,
that one day Jeongguk would leave because he could never be enough. It was pathetic
comparing himself to a sport, but it was the truth.

Jeongguk cared more about volleyball than anything else. It would be foolish of him to even
think he would ever come close.

In fact, Jeongguk probably never loved him. He could just be saying it without meaning it.
People did that all the time, right? Right? Love was overused, and nowadays it was tossed
around, the meaning losing significance with every careless usage.

Did people even love anymore? Or was it just a word to make them feel better about
themselves? A word that was now just another empty promise?

"Taehyung, please," Jeongguk started when the older pushed himself up with his arms, now
sitting as his shoulders trembled, hands grabbing fistfuls of sheets.

"N-no, it's okay," Taehyung whispered, unable to hear himself. "I get it. You have volleyball.
I know it's your priority and—,"

"— Don't talk like that Tae. Don't be like this," The younger propped himself up on his
elbows. "You know how I feel about you too."

Taehyung stiffened, and before he could stop himself he whispered, "Do I though?"

"Stop," Jeongguk reached out to grab his wrist, but the older pulled himself away, shaking his
head as he tried to fight the walls behind his eyes from breaking and releasing dreaded tears.

"No, I-It's fine. I-I expected this anyways. Y-you go do what you feel is more important," He
rambled, unable to stop himself shaking his head as his fingers gripped the sheets until his
knuckles were white.

"It's clear what you really want."

"Taehyung, let me talk," Jeongguk was now sitting up, his voice firmer, and he wasn't so sure
if he was imagining the irritance in his words.
"We don't need to talk," Taehyung whispered. "We know the answers, and you know that."

"Taehyung—,"

"— Don't. I get it. I do," The older exhaled shakily, breathing quickening. "Volleyball is more
important than me. I get it. I've always known that."

"You can't just say that," Jeongguk stressed. "Tae, you don't—,"

"— I love you." He blurted out without thinking.

"Y-You what?" Jeongguk blinked, the tension from his voice fading along with his words as
the sentence became a mere whisper on his tongue.

"I love you," Taehyung murmured, unable to meet the younger's questioning stare. "There,
now you know how I feel about you."

Jeongguk didn't say anything, and the longer he waited, the more it felt like his heart was
being torn to shreds. To think if he blurted it out all of a sudden and just said it, he would say
it back.

To think if he just put it out there, Jeongguk would tell him, and he didn't.

Jeongguk didn't love him.

"You don't know how I feel about you," Jeongguk started, but the older scoffed. "You're not
letting me tell you, Tae. And don't throw that word around so carelessly like that." Ouch.

"I'm not ready for that, Tae."

"Then when will you be?" He snapped bitterly, the sadness that enclosed around his throat
injecting him with this bitterness, frustration even.

"What else are you not gonna tell me?"

"Where is this coming from. I'm not hiding stuff from you," Jeongguk whispered. Liar. You
liar.

"Sure," Taehyung wiped at his eyes, blinking back the tears as he grabbed the thin blanket
and wrapped it around himself before facing away from the younger. "Sure you aren't."

"I don't want to fight you."

"I don't either," He whispered, lying down on his side, facing the wall so Jeongguk didn't
have to see the silent tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Then why are we fighting?" Jeongguk murmured. "I don't like this."

"Me either," Taehyung wiped at his eyes.

"I'm sorry Taehyung. I can't fight you," the younger said, but he didn't answer.
Instead he willed his eyes clothes, focusing on controlling his breath because god, he felt like
he was going to die every second his lungs cried out for oxygen.

Jeongguk didn't say anything more, and the bed beside him was still heavy, so at least he
didn't leave. But as Taehyung lied there, hugging his naked body tight, sniffling ever so softly
while hot tears fell down his cheeks and onto his pillow, he was in pain.

Nobody ever prepared him for this type of pain. No scrape, or jammed toe, or broken bone
could ever compare to the way his heart felt like it was torn out of his chest and stomped all
over.

No parent could ever prepare their kid for the feeling of a heart breaking until it hit them
when they least expect it.

Nobody told him even a crack would hurt this much.

But of course, he kept quiet, not having the energy to fight anymore. After all, Jeongguk
didn't want to fight for him, so what was left to do?

If Jeongguk didn't want to fight, maybe he shouldn't want to either.

 new friends & annoying flirts

♡♡♡

The morning after, neither one of them spoke.

It was heavy, the atmosphere. Taehyung considered it quite crushing, and to be honest, it felt
odd since most of the time the spent around Jeongguk wasn't at all like this— in fact, it was
the opposite.

Usually things were light. Care free. Stress-less.

But now, it was as if a flip switched ever since their argument, and instead of the mornings
where they were all over one another, they were apart.

Taehyung guessed it wasn't just Jeongguk trying to avoid him. He was guilty of it too. After
all, he got up first to shower, and he ate way before Jeongguk even woke up. He didn't wait
for him, and when he was dressed and Jeongguk came out, hair messy and eyes squinty with
sleep, he didn't dare flirt with him.

It made sense. Their argument was fresh, hanging in the air stiffly, not having departed just
yet.

Feelings were probably hurt. He knew his were. It was a dull ache latching onto his heart,
though it wasn't because of the fact Jeongguk was leaving— he prepared himself for that ages
ago.

It was more because of them fighting. A fight that shouldn't have happened if he just listened,
but of course, he didn't and let it become this way. Maybe he shouldn't have dropped the l-
word so carelessly either— maybe he shouldn't have said anything at all.

Or mayhe he shouldn't have let his insecurities and his fears eat him alive because there
wasn't a need for worrying. It was Jeongguk and him. Taehyung and Jeongguk. Together,
they made the complicated make sense.

But suddenly, everything— his feelings, his mind, his insecurities — was so confusing.

It didn't make sense why this would even happen to them of all people. They rarely argued,
and when they did, it was never this intense.

Usually Jeongguk would laugh it off or make some dick joke by now, and Taehyung would
be smothering him with kisses and cuddles.
However, that clearly wasn't going to happen.

You see, Taehyung didn't often get into arguments like this where both parties ignored one
another. With Jin and Hoseok, they bought boba to make things up. With his dads, they
simply watched a movie.

But seeing as Jeongguk wouldn't even spare a look in his direction, buying boba or watching
a movie didn't seem like a strong enough apology.

Occasionally he would glance up, eyes fixating on the back of Jeongguk's head, watching
him shuffle about the kitchen, the pads of his bare feet creaking against the floorboards.
When Jeongguk turned around, he switched his attention back to his shoelaces.

This was ridiculous. Taehyung knew that. They should probably talk things out now that he
wasn't wallowing in his own self doubts and panic. Maybe if he just called out to him they
could sort it out.

It was easy, he told himself, nibbling on his lips. Just say his name, and maybe you could fix
things.

I don't know how much longer I can stand this.

"Taehyung," Jeongguk seemed to have read his mind, prompting the older to look up from his
shoes, heart suddenly racing in his chest.

"Yes?" He replied, voice slightly cracking. He winced internally. God, he was an idiot.

"Can you come here?" The younger murmured, turning the other way, putting together what
seemed like a bowl of cereal. Of course, it was always the cereal.

Taehyung pushed off the couch a little bit faster than he intended to. Did he want to seem
desperate to fix things Jeongguk? Yes? No? He didn't know how he should act, or what he
should say, and oh god, why were his hands shaking?

When he approached the younger, he gulped thickly, standing only a couple feet away from
him just in case Jeongguk wasn't ready for that. He slid his damp palms into his pockets,
pressing his lips into a tight thin line.

This was it. This was where he was going to tell him that all this fighting was useless, and
that they should be talking it out! It was just another easy confrontation; Taehyung's done it
before.

"What's up?" He asked, trying to sound casual, thinking maybe if he acted normal things
would be better— or perhaps he was just stalling. Jeongguk, however, didn't look his way.

That was enough to drain the color from his skin and knocked down all of his confidence.
Great.

"You don't have to wait for me tonight. I have another late practice." Oh. So that was it.
Ouch.
"Alright," Taehyung bit the inside of his cheek, fingers squeezing into fists beneath his
pockets. "I won't. I-Is that all?" Please say something.

"Yeah, I guess," Jeongguk nodded along, still not daring to meet his eye. It was then, did
Taehyung's stomachs squeezed, the unbearable twist nagging him in the back of his mind —
panic.

God, was this some sign that he was losing him? The other day, just for fun, he was scrolling
through those stupid twitter self-care threads on instagram. By accident, he saw a post about
signs a relationship is falling apart, and ever-so curiously he read it.

It wasn't that Jeongguk and he were falling apart— that wasn't the case at all. He was just
curious, and the thread was right there, so of course he read it. Why did it pop into his mind
now? He didn't know.

But by the way Jeongguk ignored him, focusing on pouring his cereal out rather than talking
to him, he couldn't help but think about it.

Distance. When partners distanced themselves from one another it wasn't good at all. This
had to be some sign, right? If it was, god, they couldn't fall apart already. They just got
together.

They promised each other always. Jeongguk was his person, his best friend, and his
boyfriend wrapped in one huge dork. He couldn't give up on him when they barely even
started.

This wasn't how things were supposed to be.

"If you're not busy, do you wanna go out together again?" Taehyung cleared his throat,
slightly inching closer to the younger to close the distance. "We haven't gone out in a while."

"We can try," Jeongguk shrugged, barely glancing at him. "But I can't promise being back
early."

"Well I can always wait," Taehyung suggested, only to earn a sigh from the younger. He
leaned back, the skin between his brows drawing together. "What?"

"I don't want you to wait around for me," He simply said, cooly. "You have other things to do,
so do them instead of wasting time on me."

"But I'm not wasting time around you," The older's lips fell into a frown. "I'm saying I'm
willing to wait for you, Jeongguk. It's what boyfriends do for one another." At that, Jeongguk
snorted.

"Well your boyfriend's telling you that isn't a good idea, and it isn't necessary," Jeongguk
said, spooing some cereal into his mouth. "You do your thing, and I do mine. We shouldn't
hold each other back."

"Who said that?" Taehyung's jaw tightened, the uneasiness prickling at his skin as his
stomach lurched.
"I said that," Jeongguk retorted. "C'mon, we have class," He dropped his spoon back into the
bowl, picked it up and turned toward where the sink was but Taehyung grabbed him by the
forearm.

"Jeongguk," He muttered, forcing the younger to face him as his throat seemed to swell and
his confidence dwindled by the second.

"Are we okay?" Jeongguk merely blinked at him.

"Why wouldn't we be?" The younger said, like it was obvious.

And perhaps Taehyung could have been dwelling too hard on it, but he swore Jeongguk
meant it like he was crazy or something. Crazy for even thinking something was wrong when
maybe everything was probably okay.

Like nothing was even ruined in the first place.

"Right. You're right," He gulped, fingers releasing from Jeongguk's arm, hands now retreating
to his side. He tried to step back, but before he could, the younger's arm coiled around his
waist, pulling him close.

"What?" Taehyung said softly, mustering all the bits and pieces of his confidences to glance
up at the younger, feeling his heart crack at the sadness clouding his usual starry eyes.

"I don't wanna fight with you anymore," Jeongguk murmured, running his hand up and down
his side soothingly, his saddened gaze fixing onto his.

"Can we just forget... this?"

"Jeongguk," Taehyung murmured, brows drawing together as his hands settled on his chest,
pushing him back. What he didn't expect, however, is to see the pain in Jeongguk's features.
Oh.

"Please," He begged, desperation lingering in his tone. "Can we just drop the fighting?"

No, this wasn't a good idea, he wanted to grab him by the fricking collar and shake some
sense into his head. Why don't you want to talk? Why can't we talk this out? Why are you just
giving up?

But eventually, the older nodded numbly, chewing at his lip quietly.

"Of course," He whispered back, giving in. "We're okay." He said quietly, watching the stress
building between the creases on the younger's face ease.

"We're okay," Jeongguk repeated half-heartedly, squeezing his hip. "And about the date, let's
make it work, okay?"

"Sure," Taehyung nodded again, a little surprised at the force he used to wear a smile on his
lips.
"If that's what you want." Is it what I want?

"Great. No more fighting. We're all good now," The younger declared, or rather, said to
himsef in a daze as pressed a kiss to his temple before carrying on with the rest of his routine,
leaving Taehyung all on his own.

As Taehyung stood there, gaze lingering on his lover, the smile on his lips slowly faded into
nothing. It was when Jeongguk left the room did his shoulders sag, and his hands flew out
and clutched the edge of the counter, trying to steady himself for his head felt like lead.

They were okay, he told himself repeatedly, sucking in a shaky breath. They weren't fighting
anymore. Even Jeongguk said they were okay. In fact, they were going to go on a date!

And yet, why did nothing feel the same?

♡♡♡

"Is something off between Jeongguk and Tae?"

Jin pointed out, watching Taehyung and Jeongguk sit together in class at their usual desks in
the front like the teacher's pets they were. But instead of being all over eachother like the
disgusting, mushy gushy couple they were, they sat a couple inches apart.

"What?" Hoseok asked after Jin slammed the table, waking the younger up from his nap. He
stretched his arms over the table, brows furrowed.

"I think something's wrong with them, or is it just me? I think it's just me," Jin murmured,
staring at the couple not even exchange a few words.

By now, Jeongguk would have had an arm around Tae, but they barely even looked at one
another. In fact, Taehyung was busy on his phone, while the other was chatting with some
members of his team on the side. Weird.

"I think it's just you," Hoseok smacked his lips together, rubbing at his eyes.

"The honeymoon shit probably wore off."

Oh, how Jin wished he was right, but this just didn't feel too good in his gut. No matter what
state those two idiots were in, they were always caught up in one another — as friends or
boyfriends. Together, the room was always light, not suffocatingly stiff.
Wait. Did they fight?

For once, he wanted to be wrong, so wrong that he was never even close to being correct. It
wasn't like him to want that, but it was Taehyung— this was different. The kid's happiness
was his own, and all he ever wanted was somebody to make Taehyung happy in ways he
couldn't.

Jeongguk was the right guy, no matter how stupid and infuriating he was. Taehyung's world
spun for that son of a bitch, and yet, it was as if their worlds seemed to have come to a stop.

And it wasn't a good kind of stop.

"Don't worry, hyung," Hoseok yawned, "they could be tired from banging eachother's brain
cells out last night."

"I hope so," Jin drummed his fingers over the table, averting his gaze aside when Jeongguk
briefly glanced in his direction.

"Maybe we should check on him more. We've been working too many shifts lately," He
suggested, but the red-head shook his head.

"Taehyung knows we need the money for college, hyung. He's smart, and whatever is going
on with Jeongguk, they will solve it," Hoseok said.

"They're meant for each other. The world won't let them break up."

"Don't jinx it," Jin grumbled, "don't give the universe any stupid ideas." He said, crumpling
up a piece of paper and yeeting at the younger.

"Okay, that was unnecessary," It bounced off Hoseok's head and onto the table. He grabbed
the crumpled ball and threw it back, ultimately missing. "Damn it."

"C'mon Jin," Hoseok whined, realizing Jin wasn't paying attention to him. "They'll figure it
out. They love each other too much to not."

"Well that's the thing," Jin sighed, "they love each other too much, I think it might kill them."

"That's kinda morbid," Hoseok snorted. "Stop staring, hyung. It's not our place to get
involved with their stuff. This kind of thing is natural, remember that. Not all couples are
disgustingly sweet all the time."

"But they're that couple— fine, I'll stop," He rolled his eyes, seeing Jeongguk lean over and
flick the older's chin. "Maybe they are okay," He told himself.

"Yeah, they're Taehyung and Jeongguk. They'll always be okay," Hoseok's voice softened as
he squeezed the older's shoulder. "Nothing could break them apart."

"I hope you're right," Jin murmured, forcing himself to focus on his work even though deep
down, the idea that something was wrong still nagged at him.
 ♡♡♡

Jeongguk missed their date.

And he missed a couple more for the next few werks with the same excuse every single time:
"I had volleyball."

It wasn't that Taehyung cared or well, he did, and with every apology text his heart cracked.
The pieces slowly broke apart, crumbling into the bottom of his stomach, but of course, he
put the fragments back together with a deep breath and a smile.

He tried to be understanding. This was Jeongguk's dream— the goal every moment in his life
lead up to. Next to volleyball, Taehyung would forever be the second choice.

He didn't have a right to be selfish and tell Jeongguk to drop everything for him when there
wasn't a reason why Jeongguk should stay for him anyways.

He realized that maybe he was boring and dull, and those times where he rambled about his
interests probably bore Jeongguk out, and the younger was just smiling and laughing along
because he felt bad.

Or maybe, Jeongguk only kissed him like he felt he had to. The times Jeongguk called him
beautiful or pretty were probably said because Jeongguk thought he should say it since he
was his boyfriend.

Jeongguk probably didn't enjoy having sex with him, and maybe he did it because it was his
obligation. Maybe he dated Taehyung out of pity, or maybe he just lost interest a long time
ago.

God, all these thoughts ate him alive, devouring him until he was a pathetic crying, snotty
mess hugging Jeongguk's hoodies to smell him since he rarely saw the younger nowadays.

All he wanted was Jeongguk, but now he wasn't so sure if he deserved him anymore. Or if he
even should deserve Jeongguk's time.

Jeongguk tried to be nice, but Taehyung supposed he was doing 'cuz he felt bad. They would
try to talk normally, but in the end it was just silence and awkward touches.
Sometimes they had sex, but it never really had the same 'wow factor' as it did before. Even
the sex was embarassing and Taehyung went from being naked beneath to him to always
wearing a shirt or a hoodie, or just flat out rejecting him so he could wallow in his own self
hate.

Sometimes they did nothing.

The other day, Jeongguk asked if he wanted to hang out on a date while they were studying
silence. He agreed, actually excited that it was the younger asking him since he rarely did so.

But he was a fool. Tonight wasn't any different.

He texted him a bit ago, apologizing that their practice was going to run later, and that
Taehyung should probably stay home because he was going to crash over at Jae's dorm.

Of course, Taehyung told him it was all good, and he even wished him to have fun after
wiping away all his stupid, idiotic tears.

What he didn't tell him, however, was that he invited Jimin over instead. He was his only
option left, since his other friends were off working a late shift as per usual, and Jimin wasn't
quite bad company.

But at this point, Taehyung didn't care who he was with. He just didn't want to be alone
tonight.

And there was something Jeongguk wasn't telling him either, but at the same time, it was as if
he knew what was going on. Pained him to think about it, and every second Jeongguk drifted
off chipped away at his heart, but this was the reality.

Jeongguk chose volleyball.

He didn't have to say it outloud for the both of them to know. It was there, hanging in the air
above their heads like a blade to a guillotine.

Taehyung supposed he was okay with it, even if they weren't talking often and the only times
Jeongguk had touched him where either a chaste kiss on the cheek or a loose arm wrapped
around his arm.

Maybe things would get better, he told himself on the days he wasn't swamped with his
thoughts.

Maybe one day all of this would just disappear and things would go back to normal. They
could go back to being disgustingly clingy and sweet and they would never fight again
because now, he knew what not to do.

Who was he fooling? Things sucked. Things weren't getting better. All that bullshit about
them being Jeongguk and Taehyung, the couple that were always good in the end, didn't
make sense.

Even that was becoming harder to believe.

So hard to believe, but Taehyung tried to anyways like the idiot he was.

"I brought food," Jimin declared, brushing past Taehyung and in his arms were paper bags
wafting with the scent of fast food from the place a few blocks from campus.

"Shouldn't you be at practice?" Taehyung shut the door after him, wanting to know the
answer since Jimin had been hanging out with him on the days Jeongguk was practicing late.

"Your boyfriend and his friends are just doing some extra training," Jimin set the bags on the
coffee table.

"The school practices ended a bit ago."

"Oh, so he's practicing for Japan already?" Taehyung joined him on the couch, and in the
back of his mind, he wondered if Jeongguk knew this was going to happen before they got
together.

But before he could delve into the stupid what-ifs and the thoughts that made him realize how
much of an idiot he was, Jimin clapped his hands together, snapping him out of his thoughts.
Taehyung raised an eyebrow at him.

"We are not going to overthink," Jimin said, crossing his arms over his chest. "That is not
what we're gonna do tonight."

"Then what are we going to do?" Taehyung leaned back into the couch, grabbing a pillow to
cuddle as he rested his chin on the soft plush.

"Eat. Talk. Cry. I don't know," Jimin brushed his blonde fringe out of his eyes. "Everything
but hate ourselves. Where's your confidence, Tae?"

"Gone," Taehyung chuckled dryly. "It flew out the window ages ago."

"Are you and Jeongguk still fighting?" The younger didn't answer, but it was enough for
Jimin to let out a sigh.

"You guys seriously haven't talked it out by now?" Jimin muttered, rubbing a hand down his
face.

"What's there to talk about?" Taehyung mumbled.

"Look at you. You're sulking and wearing one of his hoodies. Your eyes are red," The older
pointed out. "It's obvious something is wrong, Tae."

"Nothing's wrong," He whispered, and he wasn't sure if he was lying or trying to convince
himself like he had been doing for the last month or so.

"Bullshit. I know Jeongguk, and I know you now too. Jeongguk's better at hiding stuff and
pushing the shit away when it gets complicated. You have it all out in the open," Jimin said.

"It's obvious you two need to talk, Tae."

"But Jeongguk already made his choice," His words were muffled against the pillow as he
squeezed it closer to his chest. "He chose volleyball."

"Did he say that? Like did it come out of his stupid ass mouth?" Jimin asked. Taehyung
shook his head.

"See, this is some misunderstanding," he cried out. "You see, Jeongguk loves volleyball, and
he thought he would never find anything else to love as much as that sport. He's also a
dumbass." At that, Taehyung chuckled a little.

"But you, Tae, that kid loves you." Now that, he didn't believe. Taehyung gulped, squeezing
his eyelids shut feeling that familiar burn behind his retinas.

Jeongguk didn't love him, and he made it clear when he denied him the night of their
argument.

"You did the impossible and became one of the few things he loves," Jimin stressed.
"Jeongguk's just an idiot who sucks at talking but he listens. He will listen to what you have
to say."

"Why are you saying these things?" He blurted out, the words slipping past his mouth before
he could stop them.

"What?" Jimin raised an eyebrow at him. Taehyung simply shrugged, moving his head up a
bit so the pillow wouldn't muffle his words.

"You always talked bad about him," Taehyung said, clearimg his throat. "Whenever we used
to hang out in the past, you made sure to tell me how bad of a person he was."

"Oh," Jimin whispered, staring down at his lap. "Well, I guess you can say I was just mad. I
was mad a lot back then actually, and I know it's late, but I didn't mean any of that."

"You didn't?" The younger murmured, slightly shocked by the older's confession. Jimin
shook his head.

"Back then, I was just... upset. You already know I had feelings for Jeongguk during the
summer, and he turned me down. I was bitter, and I didn't handle it like I should have. I know
an apology doesn't make up for what I did," He said, chuckling a little.

"But I didn't mean those things. Jeongguk's probably had the biggest heart ever, and it's
meant for people who truly deserve it," Jimin said softly, his gaze fixing on Taehyung.

"Jimin," Taehyung's voice drifted off, the words breaking around the edges. Jimin shook his
head, waving it off.

"Don't. Back to what I was saying, I'm telling you that you need to talk it out," Jimin
swallowed. "Losing a friend like Jeongguk was the biggest mistake I ever made."

"I don't want you to lose someone like him."

"Thank you," Taehyung eventually said after some time, peering up at the older who seemed
to be staring off at the wall. "I appreciate that."

"It's nothing," The older rolled his eyes. "I'm also hella tired of seeing you like this, and
Jeongguk's an asshole at practice. All we've been doing is running."

"He's hurting too?" Confusion scrunched his brows together. Jimin nodded.

"He shows it differently. The guy works his ass off when he's upset, and I guess it could be
healthy, but he pushes himself to the limit," Jimin said, rubbing the side of his neck with his
palm. "I'm worried."

"What do you mean?" Taehyung sat up, his heart clenching in his chest. "Is he gonna hurt
himself?"

"No? I don't think he's that much of an idiot. But anyways, you two need to talk," The blonde
finally said. "Talk it out and get back to being gross."

"But—,"

"No buts. It's not hard, Tae. You're gonna regret it if you don't talk things out so do it before
it's too late," He said, reaching over for the bags and grabbing a greasy fry before popping it
into his mouth.

"What if it's already too late?" Taehyung bit his lip. Jimin rolled his eyes, wiping the grease
on his jeans.

"It's not," Jimin told him, getting up from the couch.

"Where are you going?" He asked, and suddenly, the older was grabbing his hand and
yanking him up off the couch. "What's going on?!"

"As much as I wanna stuff my face, you're just gonna be moping all night," Jimin said,
tugging him along as he scooped his car keys off the table and shoved them into his jacket
pocket.

"No harsh feelings but you're annoying me," He shoved a wave of blonde locks back over his
head. "I don't like crying people."

"Fine I'll stop but tell—"

"We're gonna go see your Jeongguk."

"B-But he has practice," Taehyung shot back, brows knitted together and lips pressed into a
frown as they approached the front door. Jimin shrugged, tossing him his shoes.

"And? We'll wait in the bleachers above until their stuff is done," Jimin said like it was no big
deal. He watched, foot tapping impatiently on the ground as Taehyung shoved his slippers
onto his socked feet.
"Can you tell me why we're doing this now?" The younger asked, wiping at his eyes while
Jimin held the door open, gesturing at him to get out.

"Because," Jimin said, "you're the last friend I have, Tae. I know how it feels to lose
Jeongguk, and you shouldn't have to go through that either."

"That's—," The shorter boy clamped his hand over his mouth, giving him quite the unamused
stare.

"Don't mention it," Jimin removed his palm, now shoving Taehyung out the door. "C'mon,
let's go fix your relationship, stupid."

♡♡♡

"This is Nakamura Yuta," Jeongguk draped his towel over his shoulder as he gestured to the
boy beside him. "He goes to a highschool in Japan, and he's also one of my teammates on
Team Japan."

"So you're the brilliant setter Jeonggukie keeps talking about?" San chuckled, crossing his
arms over his chest. At that, Jeongguk scoffed, pretending to hit the libero with his towel but
of course, he dodged him.

"I didn't know he talks about me," Yuta let out a laugh, reaching over and patting Jeongguk's
back. The younger glanced the other way, biting back the shy smile on his lips.

"Don't be flattered," Yugyeom said cooly, the way he seemed to nearly snap at Yuta catching
Jeongguk off guard. He looked at him, raising an eyebrow at him, but the younger didn't say
anything.

"Well, uh," San cleared his throat when nobody said anything for a while. He grabbed
Yugyeom by the arm, pulling him back, "We'll see you on the court."

Jeongguk waved a little at his friends, finding it a bit weird that Yugyeom was acting
different. Usually he was the friendliest out of the bunch next to San, but the second Yuta
came to the gym and clung to Jeongguk's side, something switched in Yugyeom.
He wasn't all welcoming smiles, light jabs, and easy serves to ease new teammates into the
game. Ever since Yuta started playing, Yugyeom made sure to slam the ball their way, spiking
directly at the setter.

It was odd, and it wasn't like him, but that was something to talk about later for sure.

"Your friends are an interesting bunch," Yuta slipped back into Japanese effortlessly as he
spun a ball in his hands.

"They're usually nicer. Especially Yugs," Part of Jeongguk appreciated it, knowing at least
Yugyeom and San wouldn't eavesdrop on them like they have been doing so recently.

"It's fine. I'm used to it," Yuta waved it off, smirking at the younger. "But can I ask
something?" He raised an eyebrow at Yuta, humming.

"You talk about me a lot?" He teased, nudging his side playfully. Jeongguk snorted, pushing
him back.

"Don't let it feed your ego," Jeongguk grinned, clutching the towel around his shoulders
tighter. "I appreciate a good player when I see one."

"Was that a compliment?" Yuta winked, making the younger roll his eyes at him, but the wide
smile on his lips said otherwise.

"M'kidding Jeonggukie-chan. I know you like me."

"Gross. Go back to Japan," He joked, shoving his friend. Yuta raised his hands up in defense,
and after a quick waterbreak they went back out to practice.

He met Yuta a couple weekends back in Japan, and to be honest, he was glad he did.

The entire team consisted of mostly adults or college students, so Jeongguk didn't really have
anyone to talk to while he spent time in another country he rarely visited except for during
summers back when he was younger. But even then, he wasn't alone.

He didn't have anybody besides his grandparents, but they weren't really around since they
worked a lot of hours. And it wasn't like Taehyung was talking to him either, so in Japan, he
was on his own.

But that changed when he met Yuta during one of the practices. He was the setter of the
national Japan team, and when he learned the guy was his age, he guessed things didn't seem
to be so bad after all.

It was Yuta who approached him after one practice where it was pouring , and he forgot to
bring an umbrella until Yuta came by with one. They chatted in the rain for a bit, found out
they liked some of the same things, and Yuta eventually invited him for yakisoba at his place.

It truly did feel nice to have somebody during the weekends where none of his friends, not
even his own boyfriend, contacted him since they were all busy themselves.
Yuta was really enjoyable to be around, and he even offered to show him to all the cool
tourist attractions in Tokyo. So, every weekend in Japan, they spent every second together,
and around him, he didn't have to worry about much except about himself and
what he wanted.

It was like he was stuck in this little world in Japan, and instead of being alone with
volleyball, he had a friend to keep him company.

Last weekend, the captain suggested for Yuta go to Korea with him so they could work on
their team chemistry since Yuta was going to be the one setting to him for their season.

Of course, Yuta and he agreed the second it was proposed, which brought them to what they
were currently doing.

"You're a very good hitter, Yugyeom-san!" Yuta said cheerfully when Yugyeom finished his
set. However, instead of saying thanks, the blonde rolled his eyes and went on to the other
line.

"What's up with Gyeom?" Jeongguk asked San when he passed by, his fingers grabbing the
sleeve of the younger's before he could go to the end.

"Yugyeom?" The older nodded. San's lips curved into an oval, "Well, I don't know. He's not
in a good mood, but I'll ask later."

"Alright," He said quietly, glancing over at Yugyeom who was staring daggers at where Yuta
was setting to another teammate. What was wrong?

Besides the fact Yugyeom was acting out and he was a little bit rougher than usual during
their practice, everything went surprisingly smoothly. Thankfully, mostly everybody seemed
to like Yuta, for the team was smiling and laughing more than usual.

They all worked together more efficiently than they did with Jimin, and after it took some
time to synchronize Yuta's sets with the rest of the hitters, their team was practically
unstoppable.

It was amazing really, and everytime Yuta finished a set, his gaze met Jeongguk's and the two
of them exchanged the biggest smiles either one of them could muster.

It was working way better than it he expected.

"Ready to go back to the dorms, Jeonggukie-chan?" Yuta mused, throwing his arm over his
shoulders as he joined the three of them. Jeongguk didn't fight the older off, instead smiling
down at the clipboard in his hands showing their plays.

"In a second. We're reviewing this last formation," He said, feeling Yuta's chin leaning on his
shoulder.

"When you're done, do you wanna go grab some food? I saw this barbecue place on the way
here," Yuta said, pinching Jeongguk's cheek playfully.
"We'll see," Jeongguk replied, turning his head to the side before craning his neck back,
eyebrows raised at their close proximity. He blinked rapidly, nose scrunching together as Yuta
burst out laughing.

"Well hurry up," Yuta giggled, wrapping his arms around Jeongguk's waist. "M'really hungry,
and I wanna tell you about my first day here."

"He can't go."

Jeongguk, Yuta, and San all glanced up from the clipboard, staring at Yugyeom who was
fuming in front of them, his arms crossed tightly over his chest. Yugyeom rolled his eyes.

"Are you Jeongguk?" Yuta asked, batting his eyelashes and cutting off Jeongguk before he
could reply. "No, you're not. You can't answer for him, silly."

"Jeongguk, tell him you can't go," Yugyeom gestured at him, his jaw clenching. "You know
why."

"I'm sure I can grab food with a friend," Jeongguk chuckled lightly, the skin between his
brows creasing at the younger's weird behavior. Yugyeom scoffed.

"Are you really forgetting, Jeongguk?" He shook his head, bitterness lacing his words.

"Can you tell me what m'forgetting?" He asked, trying to keep his calm considering there
were still other players in the gym. Yugyeom finally let out a sigh, shaking his head in
disappointment.

"I can't believe you."

"You're really not telling me anything," Jeongguk frowned. "If you just told me—,"

"—I'm going back to the dorm," Yugyeom declared, rolling his eyes once more before
brushing past the trio and heading straight toward the lockerrooms.

"What's his problem?" Yuta asked innocently, the three of them not saying a word as they
watched their friend slam the door to the lockerroom shut.

"I— Y'know what, I'll go check on him," San swallowed, scratching the side of his neck.
Jeongguk nodded, gaze following his friend as he ran after Yugyeom.

"I don't think he likes me," Yuta snorted, pulling away from Jeongguk but instead linking
their arms together after taking his clipboard and setting it on the bench.

"He'll warm up eventually. They all do." He shrugged like it was nothing, to which Jeongguk
merely replied with a nod of his head.

What did Yugyeom mean, though? He scanned through his mind, brows furrowed as he tried
to remember what he was forgetting. Well, there wasn't really much— he did all his
homework, he went to class this week, and he showered a bit ago.
He cancelled the date with Taehyung, so that wasn't what he was forgetting, right?

Fuck. Taehyung.

"So, you down for food?" Yuta pulled him along when Jeongguk was staring at the
lockerroom door for too long. The younger blinked rapidly, snapping out of his thoughts,
realizing they were moving.

"I don't think tonight's a good time," Jeongguk said, following Yuta outside the gym. He held
the door out for him, not thinking much about the way Yuta wrapped his arm around his
shoulder.

"Why not? You're free, I'm free," He said, gently shaking him. "C'mon it's free food too. I'll
pay for you, and we can chat before I gotta go back to my hotel."

"We shouldn't," Jeongguk flashed him a crooked smile, and with his free hand, he brushed
Yuta off of him. "I gotta go back to my dorm."

"So? Nobody's there," Yuta snorted. Jeongguk, on the otherhand, gulped. "You live alone,
right?"

"I actually don't," The younger said, trying to ignore the way Yuta's hand setted on his
lowerback. It was subtle, almost unnoticeable, but if he focused hard enough, he could feel
the pressure of it lingering.

"You don't? Is it a roommate? I'm sure they won't mind if I sweep you away for the night~,"
Yuta teased, his hand finding purchase on the dip of his hip. Jeongguk swallowed.

"They would mind," He said, prying Yuta's fingers off of him with a tight-lipped smile. Yuta
raised an questioning eyebrow at him.

"Why? They're just a roommate. I don't like taking no for an answer, Jeonggukie-chan.
Y'know me," The older flashed him a bright smile, even winking at him.

"I'm tired," Jeongguk tried, but the other didn't want to back down without a fight as per
usual.

"No you're not. You have the best stamina out of the entire team," Yuta snorted, nudging his
side. "It's just dinner."

"It's not just dinner," He whispered back. I need to see Taehyung. I need to apologize for
being late even though I know he's probably tired of me at this point.

"In Japan, you never deny me," Yuta retorted. "I already told you. The more things you deny,
the more fun in life you miss out on! Your roommate—,"

"—He's not just my roommate."

Jeongguk forced out, the two of them stopping at the exit. He turned to face the older, jaw
setting tight as Yuta stepped closer, hand reaching out to settle on his hip again, ignoring the
way Jeongguk flinched.

"Them who is he?" Yuta asked quietly.

"He's my boyfriend." At that, Yuta didn't back away like he expected. Instead, he stepped
closer, the distance between them dwindling away.

"A boyfriend shouldn't hold you back from hanging out with friends. Who is the guy?" Yuta
hummed, staring down at him, something unreadable flitting through his narrowed eyes.

"He's a good person," Jeongguk brought his hands up, resting his palms on his chest
intending to push him back but he didn't. Fuck, he probably knew how weird this looked—
he had to stop this.

"Then he wouldn't care if I take you out to dinner," The older shrugged. "C'mon, just say yes,
and I'll do anything you want. Accompany me, Ggukie."

"No, I'm not falling for that again," Jeongguk rolled his eyes, pushing him back lightly. "I
need to get back to my boyfriend."

"Fine," Yuta backed off, letting go of him. But before Jeongguk could leave and get back to
the dorm, Yuta grabbed him by the wrist, tugging him close so that his lips brushed against
his ear.

"I'll take you out some other time," Yuta chuckled lowly, "and treat you better than your
boyfriend could."

"What?" Jeongggk pulled back, the skin between his brows creased in confusion as Yuta
stepped away from, chuckling innocently.

"Nothing. See you tomorrow, Jeonggukie-Chan," Yuta said, waving goodbye before opening
the door and slipping out into the night, glancing over his shoulder one more time before
walking away.

Jeongguk gulped, rubbing the side of his neck before deciding to check his phone and hope
Taehyung didn't text him. So he did, fumbling in his pocket, but something in the corner of
his peripheral caught his attention.

He straightened up, holding his phone up to his ear after dialing Taehyung's number to ask
him if he wanted to go eat. But as he glanced over at the empty corridor beside him for a split
second, his stomach dropped.

There standing in the hallway was a person, and before Jeongguk could call out to them, his
stomach plunged even further.

Their phone rang.

 redos & no turning back

♡♡♡

"W-Wait Jimin, I-I don't think I-I can do this," Taehyung swallowed, wrist aching dully in
Jimin's tight grip as the older dragged him along toward the gym appearing in the distance.

"What do you mean we can't?" Jimin asked, brows furrowed. The duo came to a stop, and
when he finally faced him, Jimin's features eased when he realized he was hurting Taehyung.

"Fuck, I'm sorry," He scratched the side of his neck, dropping his wrist carefully. "I got
carried away."

"S'fine," The younger murmured softly, rubbing his wrist, shoulders sagging while his gaze
fixated on the ground. "It doesn't hurt as much." He said sadly.

Doesn't hurt as much as losing Jeongguk, he wanted to say, but he knew if he spoke up, he
would start crying. He could already feel that oh-so familiar burn stinging behind his eyes,
the walls holding back the flood of his tears cracking beneath the pressure.

"God Taehyung," Jimin sighed upon hearing the younger's quiet sniffles. "If we don't do this,
it's gonna hurt even worse. The longer you don't talk, the more your heart will break."

"But what if I want my heart to break?" He sulked, hands falling limp in front of him along
with his confidence.

"What if my heart is already broken?"

"Don't be like this," Jimin placed his hands on his own hips. "If you two idiots talk, then there
will be no more broken hearts! Everybody will be fixed and happy and what not."

"You guys can go back to being two little shits in love!"

"Or I could just go back to feeling like shit," Taehyung whispered, laughter broken to pieces
as the sound forced itself from his tight throat. Jimin rolled his eyes, fighting the frown on his
lips.

"Tae," The blonde repeated, tone softening when he noticed Taehyung's shoulders began to
tremble. He swallowed, reaching over and placing his hand on his shoulder.

"I c-can't talk to him. W-What if he doesn't want me anymore?" Taehyung said, sniffling over
his words. "What if h-he's so mad at me? What i-if he decides I'm too difficult to be with?
"What if w-we end up breaking up?"

"Nobody's going to break up," Jimin squeezed his shoulder. "Not on my watch," He added
softly, too soft for the younger to pick up.

"Like I said, Jeongguk's an idiot. He's a fucking idiot, alright? This isn't just your fault. Both
of you need to figure this out, and you will. Jeongguk and you will get through this," Jimin
stressed.

"Y-You're just saying that," Taehyung breathed out, chest rising and falling unevenly, feeling
himself slip further and further into his own self-loathing. "He p-probably never loved me."

"Okay, that's just bullshit now," Jimin grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking him a little.
"How many times do I have to tell you that you are the only fucking planet that matters to
Jeongguk? Scratch that, Tae, you are his whole entire solar system."

"You are the fucking sun, his stars, and everything else in his goddamn universe. Sure, maybe
volleyball created his galaxy, but you are the thing that gives him a purpose to exist," Jimin
cried out.

"That kid loves you. He would choose to keep you in a fucking heartbeat if you asked. Hell,
he's just confused now because you keep pushing each other away!" He said, voice wavering.

"He saw something in you worth loving and sharing the pieces of himself with. He loves you,
Tae," Jimin whispered loudly.

"He always did, so why are you doubting it now?"

"B-Because," Taehyung mumbled, forcing himself to tilt his head upwards to meet Jimin's
worried gaze despite the way his blood ran cold, heart stunned in his chest.

"He w-wouldn't have loved me if I hadn't changed myself in the first place."

"Oh, you little idiot," Jimin gripped his shoulders tight, the skin between his brows knitting
together but at the same time, something in his usual hard stare became gentled.

"I don't think that's what's bothering you."

"What do you mean?" Taehyung sniffled loudly, not caring anymore if he was ugly crying in
front of the older. He watched, confusion clouding his mind as Jimin dug his hand into his
jacket pocket

"Are you wearing contacts?" He asked, to which he shook his head at. Before he could ask
him why, his features eased when Jimin fished his glasses from his pocket, waving them with
a small smirk.

Taehyung opened his mouth to talk, but Jimin gave him an all-knowing look and he quicky
shut up. He stood motionless, gaze following the older as he reached up, holding his glasses
out and sliding them back onto his features.
Confused, he watched Jimin tustle his fading blue hair, using his hands to style it the way he
used to have it back then. The messy blue fringe fell over his forehead instead of having it
swept to the side. He wasn't done, however, for he started smoothing out his clothes,
eliminating them of wrinkles.

Jimin proceeded to take something out from the bag he was carrying over his shoulder. He
searched its contents before smirking when he finally found what he wanted— makeup
wipes. Even more confused, the younger gasped, feeling his fingers grip his chin and pull
him forward.

"I know this isn't much," Jimin said, "but I want you to know that you were never ugly when
you used to look like this."

"You were never worthless, and you shouldn't have gotten shit for being yourself." Oh.

"And this will prove that Jeongguk loves you," he continued, wiping off the concealer and
light foundation carefully but at the same time adding pressure when needed.

"W-what are you doing?" Taehyung asked, chest suddenly swelling with this sort of panic as
Jimin removed his make-up efficiently.

It was as if he was taking away the things that made him felt like he belonged; items that he
used to trick himself into thinking he was beautiful, to hide all of his imperfections—
his ugliness.

But instead of feeling this heavy dread which he braced himself in order to take the impact, it
was as though some weight was taken off his shoulders, and suddenly he was easing beneath
Jimin's careful touch.

"There. Just how you looked like before," Jimin said, crumpling the makeup wipe into his
palm. "Cute pimple. Really makes your skin look natural."

"Excuse me?" Taehyung said, horrified as he reached for his phone, immediately going into
the camera to see what Jimin did.

He half expected himself to cringe, to hate every part of himself the second he saw his bare
face. To say he was terrified was probably an understatement. Now that Jimin removed his
makeup, he could see the dark circles that formed beneath his eyes, the stress pimples dotting
his chin, and patches of pores on his cheeks.

All of his flaws were out in the open, exposing him to anyone who would walk by. But before
he could spiral into this never ending void of self-hate, Jimin cleared his throat.

"You were never ugly, Tae. Jeongguk saw that," He whispered, crossing his arms over his
chest. "You think he loves you because you changed, but that wasn't the case. If you go up to
him like this, he'll still be the same whipped idiot for you."

"But what's the point of all this?" He gestured at himself, unsure of how he should feel. Jimin
flashed him a gentle smile.
"Ever heard of those people who say that when you fight for your man, you get all dressed-up
and remind them of what they're missing out on?" He nodded at that, still not seeing where
this was going.

"Well fuck that. You don't have to get pretty for them, because if they truly love you, and
which I'm sure he does," His lips broke out into the brightest smile as he gestured at him
back.

"They'll want you back just like this."

"Jimin," Taehyung's words drifted off, his chest flooding with this warmth leaving him
speechless. His shoulders rose, and for the first time in so long, he finally found himself
smiling.

"You are so terrible."

"I know I am," Jimin chuckled when the younger nudged his elbow back. "But one last
thing." Tae raised an eyebrow at him.

"I want you to go to Jeongguk and be yourself and be very fucking honest with him," Jimin
waved a stubby finger at him sternly.

"No beating around the bush. I want you to breathe, calm down, and say what you wanna tell
him, alright?"

"Got it," Taehyung nodded, exhaling steadily before sucking in a slow breath. Jimin smiled.
"I'll tell him what I'm thinking, and we'll talk it out."

"Great. Good," The blonde murmured, nodding in approval. "When you two come out of this,
you better be alright, okay? I'm tired of you being all sulky and Jeongguk being edgy all the
time."

"Yeah, I promise," Taehyung said, with every word he felt his confidence slowly rising little
by little. He held onto it, tight, knowing he needed this if he was going to get his Jeongguk
back.

"Alright," Jimin hummed, jutting his chin toward the gym. "I'll see you."

And just as Taehyung was about to run toward the building, Jimin called his name again. He
stopped, turning around, ready to ask what else the older wanted to say.

But the words instantly died on his tongue, the smile he wore falling from his lips. The air
filling his lungs was knocked right out of his chest when he saw what Jimin was holding up.

The bracelet. Jeongguk's bracelet for him.

"I saw this in the trashbin in your room," Jimim said, rubbing the side of his neck. "It looked
really important, so I picked it up and kept it. I don't know if you meant— um, hello?"
Taehyung hugged Jimin tight, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close as his
eyes fell shut. The older was stiff beneath him, but eventually he eased and a single hand
settled on his upper back, patting him gently.

"I hate you," Jimin said. Without even seeing his face, he could picture him smiling. "You
gonna take the bracelet or not?"

"Thank you," Taehyung pulled away, taking the bracelet from him and sliding it over his
wrist. He swallowed at the way his heart rocked in his chest seeing the word Specs across his
skin.

It had been so long since he heard Specs. Taehyung inhaled sharply, trying to keep himself
together for a little while longer. He glanced back up at Jimin, the smile he wore struggling to
hold but he held it there anyways.

"Go get your man," Jimin pushed him off of him, nudging him in the direction of the gym.

And so, he went.

Taehyung didn't know why he was running to be honest. There wasn't really a reason to, but
here he was, legs pumping from beneath him as he pushed past the entrance and into the
massive gym.

Perhaps he was running, fearing that if he didn't catch Jeongguk quick enough he would lose
him. It was as if some timer was ticking down in the back of his mind, screaming at him to
just go.

He wanted Jeongguk back. Fuck, he needed him back. All this time apart, he realized how
much he missed his best friend, his always, his person, and the boy who held his fucking
heart in his palms.

Jeongguk was the one person he couldn't lose, and even though any second now his legs
would give out, he pushed himself harder to find him. He had to be there when he got into the
gym; he couldn't lose him again.

His heart hammered in his ears, the incessant throb nearly dizzying, but Taehyung kept going.
He ran down the corridor, following the signs leading to the main gym, but before he could
turn a corner he heard voices.

Taehyung came to a stop, leaning against the wall as he gasped for air, desperately sucking in
strained breaths. He pressed his back onto the wall as the voices grew louder, though he
couldn't understand anything.

Whoever were around the corner were speaking fluent Japanese, and unfortunately for him,
he didn't understand a single word of that language.

Weird. There weren't that many Japanese students at their school, and shortly, Taehyung
remembered that Jeongguk happened to speak it rather well. At that, his eyebrows shot
upward along with his heart realizing maybe it was Jeongguk.
His lips cracked a relieved smile as he turned around the corner, Jeongguk's name already on
his tongue, ready to be called out. But before he could, the words died on his lips, smile
faltering when he saw not one but two people by the exit.

And they were standing close to one another.

But not in a friendly way.

Taehyung's mouth twitched, a frown itching to splay itself over his features while he watched
them bicker back and forth in a foreign language. His once gentle gaze hardened along with
his jaw, noticing how the taller figure placed his hand on his Jeongguk's hip.

Jeongguk pushed him off, but Taehyung swore he saw hesitation in his actions unless he
wasn't seeing things clearly. It could have been the fact his heart was thrashing around in his
chest, making his entire world spin on a fucking axis to the point he couldn't think clearly.

Or it could have been that nagging feeling at the bottom of his gut. It wasn't insecurity
surprisingly but this other emotion gnawing away at him, making his stomach clench and his
jaw impossibly tighten.

It crashed over him like a wave and consumed him before spitting him right back out when
that stranger stepped closer. Jealousy, was it called?

Jeongguk didn't look too happy, and neither was he.

Was this what he was doing all along? Hanging out with other guys and making excuses to
avoid him? Was this what the two of them have come to? Was he so fucking irrelevant to
Jeongguk over that one fight that Jeongguk had become bored of him?

Taehyung shook his head, scoffing lightly to himself. He rolled his eyes, arms crossing over
his chest as the two continued to talk in hushed whispers. But before he could walk away and
fall apart, Jimin's words rung in his ears, holding him together.

Get him back. Remind him of what he's missing and fix your shit. But how?

By now, he supposed he would be crying seeing his boyfriend this close and personal with
another guy. He would be running away, all snotty and gross and severely broken-hearted. By
now, his insecurities and pain would have caught up to him.

But this feeling— this wasn't insecurity and sadness and self-pity anymore. It was pent-up
frustration, anger, and disappointment which stung— it hurt.

Taehyung was hurt. And this was all because of them.

It was their fault for doing this to themselves, and yet they haven't fixed anything at all.

Eventually the guy walked away after whispering something in Jeongguk's ear. For a second,
he watched Jeongguk's features pale, and it was then did he start slowly approaching him,
insides numb and jaw clenched ever so tight.
He watched him fumble for his phone, and when he did find it, Jeongguk dialed somebody.
Taehyung rolled his eyes, wondering who else Jeongguk spent his time with other than him.
What else did he lie about just to avoid him?

God, did he really forget about how much they felt about one another? Did he forget about all
the time they spent together? Well, it sure looked like it. It was like they were strangers.

Did he really have to remind him of what they used to be almost two months ago? Did he
really have to remind Jeongguk of what they should have been fighting for harder?

And there, as Jeongguk brought his phone up to his ear, anxiously waiting for the person to
pick up, he felt his phone buzz.

It rang, his ringtone echoing off the tile. Taehyung came to a stop, hands shoved in his
pockets as he stared ahead of him. Jeongguk swallowed the second he saw him, and he knew.
He knew his stomach must have dropped because he knew Taehyung was there.

"Hi there," Taehyung said bitterly, coming to a stop in front of him. "You still busy?"

♡♡♡

Jeongguk didn't know what to say, or well, how he should explain.

He stood still, hand dropping to his side realizing that it was Taehyung standing in front of
him. It was actually him, and god, he realized how it had been so long since they had seen
one another, stared at one another.

All this time he avoided him, thinking Taehyung was irritated with him, or rather, hated him
for hurting his feelings after he put so much of his trust into him to not break his heart. He
regretted all of this: not telling him he loved him, and fuck, saying that he didn't mean it when
he confessed.

When really he knew Taehyung meant it. It was all he ever wanted to hear, but it scared him.
Fucking terrified him Taehyung said it while they were fighting instead of the way he
pictured it.

Fuck, he was an idiot. He was a fucking idiot for even ignoring him. He shouldn't have done
that, hell, he probably should have talked to him even though he was scared shitless that
maybe Taehyung didn't want him anymore after their fight.
No— he should have told him that he felt the same way and fought for him. All the should-
haves plagued his mind, the words wrapping around his throat and suffocating him as they
dug into his skin, reminding him of what could have happened if he wasn't so scared.

But now, all of that was probably came true by the way Taehyung was scowling at him, dark
eyes narrowed and jaw clenched tight.

God, they messed up. He messed this up. They were supposed to be doing this together and
make it work, but here they were, driving one another apart.

What the hell happened to them?

"You still busy?" Taehyung asked passively, eyeing him up and down, unaware of how his
intense stare made him squirm beneath his skin.

"I was going to come back," Jeongguk whispered, stepping toward the older. "What you saw
—,"

"—Don't," The older cut him off. "Just don't."

"Taehyung," He said, reaching out for him but he pulled back, hurt flashing through his eyes.
"I swear to you, what you saw wasn't what it looked like. I told him no, Tae. I didn't want
him."

"Sure looked like it," Taehyung rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "To think I came here to
talk to you, but this was what you were doing the entire time."

"I wasn't doing anything!" Jeongguk's brows drew together into a bunch. "Taehyung, I
would never do that to you. I'd never hurt you intentionally."

"So you can hurt me on accident? That isn't any different?" Taehyung scoffed. "If you didn't
want me, tell me. Tell me instead of going out with other guys behind my back."

"That wasn't what I was doing," Jeongguk cried out, shaking his head quickly as he tried to
close the distance between them but Taehyung stepped back every time he advanced forward.

"Taehyung, listen to me," He grabbed him by the wrist, forcing him to come close to him.
Taehyung's eyebrows raised on his tanned features, and for a second his hard facade cracked.

"It's you. It was always you," Jeongguk said, fingers tightening around his wrist. "He's just a
friendly guy, and one of my teammates—,"

"— There you go making excuses," Taehyung spat, yanking his hand away from him.
Jeongguk gulped, feeling his heart further plunge into his chest.

"You and your fucking excuses, Jeongguk," He said, voice risingly unevenly. "Every single
time you do something wrong, you make an excuse just so you won't have to take the blame."

"What?" Jeongguk whispered, unable to hear himself by the way his blood pounded in his
head.
"At the beginning, I trusted you. I trusted that you were going to volleyball. I accepted that
maybe I'm not important to you. I was okay with that," He said, words trembling with anger.

"But this— this was what you were doing? This entire time?"

"Taehyung," He whispered again, but before he could explain, he glanced over his shoulder
and spotted Yugyeom and San walking by. Fuck, they couldn't see us like this.

Before they could turn the corner and see them, Jeongguk yanked Taehyung after him,
ignoring his complaints as he dragged him toward one of the team meeting rooms. He threw
the door open and pushed Taehyung inside, quickly shutting the door behind them and
locking it just in case.

"What was that for?" Taehyung asked, arms crossed over his chest as Jeongguk approached
him in the darkness, the only light being the moonlight spilling out from the small windows.

"Hear me out," Jeongguk ignored him. "You are important to me, Tae. I know I haven't been
around lately, but I swear I was saying the truth every time."

"Then why did you leave me?" Taehyung breathed, chest rising and falling rapidly, "Why
were you with him? Why did you let him touch you?"

"He's a teammate I met in Japan, Tae. He's my only friend there, and I told you, he's
friendly," Jeongguk said, but it was clear Taehyung wasn't listening to him.

"Tae, listen—,"

"— I'm listening," Taehyung snapped, "I always listened. I was always listening. You are the
one that isn't hearing what I'm saying!"

"Why are you letting him touch you!"

"You aren't listening to me either! Why won't you believe me when I tell you it's you?"
Jeongguk asked, struggling to keep himself together. Taehyung shook his head.

"He means nothing to me." Taehyung scoffed at him.

"Do you not get it?" He whispered. Jeongguk raised an eyebrow at him. "I thought I wasn't
enough for you. I thought you didn't love me, and seeing you with him only confirmed that
maybe it was true."

"That's not fair," Jeongguk said, chest tightening. "Do not shove your words into my mouth."

"You wouldn't know what fair means," He spat bitterly. "You of all people don't get to say
what's fair or not."

"Oh enlighten me," Jeongguk stepped closer, feeling the frustration inside of him building up.
"Tell me why I'm not fair. Tell me why I'm so wrong. Tell me why it's going to be my fucking
fault at the end of this!"
"You left me without saying a word! You didn't give me an explanation," Taehyung shouted.
"You left and you expected me to understand! Yes, I know you love volleyball, but
you left me. You ignored me, and you forgot about me."

"You of all people promised me that you would be permanent," He whispered, tone softening
for a second as his words chipped away at Jeongguk's heart.

"But why are you treating me like I'm temporary?"

"Don't start that. Don't," Jeongguk snarled, "You're not understanding—,"

"— Then make me understand! Make me fucking understand why you're treating me this
way!" Taehyung cried out. "All you could have done was remind me that you were there."

"But you left! You left like the rest of them!"

"Taehyung, I tried," Jeongguk reached out for him, but the older slapped his hand away.

"You didn't try hard enough," Taehyung whispered, words breaking, shattering on his tongue.

"And neither did you," Jeongguk didn't realize how close they were standing, their bodies
parallel from one another. He met the older's intense gaze, feeling himself swallow despite
this numbness paralyzing him completely.

"But at least I didn't have to go ahead and cheat."

Jeongguk's stomach dropped, "T-That's too far. That is way too far. I-I wouldn't ever."
Taehyung rolled his eyes, stepping forward, chest brushing against his.

"I cried over you, you know that?" Taehyung said lowly, voice oddly calm, steady even.
"Every night. I was in your fucking hoodie, crying my eyes out because I thought you would
never love me."

"T-this isn't fair," Jeongguk tried to fight back, grunting quietly when his back ran into the
wall. "I didn't do that on purpose. I didn't know—,"

"— You don't know a lot of things," Taehyung snarled. "I'm tired of getting hurt. I thought
you knew that, but I guess you didn't. You. Didn't. Care."

"But you never cared anyways," He snapped, "You never care about anything than yourself.
People were right about you. I can't believe I let you fool me."

"You're nothing but a selfish, self-centered fuckboy."

"Oh wow. I didn't care?" Jeongguk scoffed. "You're being selfish. You're jumping to fucking
conclusions, but I guess that's how it is. Must be tiring being you."

"Excuse me?" He raised an eyebrow at him, his body looming over his but Jeongguk wasn't
going to let him win even if his judgement was clouded by anger.
"Must be tiring overthinking every single fucking thing," Jeongguk shouted back, shoving
him. "You expect everyone to treat you carefully, like you're so fucking delicate. Stop playing
the victim, Tae."

"You can't keep using your fucking insecurities as an excuse for everything. You say I make
excuses? Well you do too, and you never accept the fact that you're fucking shitty too,"
Jeongguk spat out.

"I thought you would understand. I thought you did, and yeah, it's my fault for not saying
anything but you disappoint me," He said, dealing blow after blow as Taehyung's expression
remained unreadable.

"You fucking disappoint me."

"Guess we're both disappointments. Not only do you forget about me, but you also forget
about your family. You're so fucking consumed by volleyball, nothing else matters huh?"
Taehyung shoved him back.

"Not even your own sisters and your sick mom."

"Shut the fuck up, Taehyung," Jeongguk pushed him back, vision slowly being consumed by
red, ignoring the way his throat was swelling shut.

"You're horrible. You're so fucking horrible. People are right," He shook his head angrily,
"You are ugly. You deserve every single fucking thing they've done to 'cuz you're right." He
watched as Taehyung's eyes darkened.

"You're not enough for anyone," Jeongguk breathed exasperatedly, shoving Taehyung back
again until the both of them were backed up against the table in the center of the room.

"Because you're nothing. You mean nothing to—,"

He was cut off, feeling Taehyung's hands grab both sides of his face and yank him forward,
crashing their lips together. Jeongguk's brows knitted together as Taehyung held him close,
his nails slightly digging into his jaw while he kissed him hard.

He left him dizzy, legs weak, and sent his world spinning with the way he crushed his lips
beneath his. Jeongguk wrapped his fingers around his wrists, trying to steady himself but
failing as Taehyung's tongue swipe across his lower lip, teeth clinking against his.

However, Taehyung pulled away quickly, breathing hard through his nose and eyes narrowed
with this anger Jeongguk couldn't explain. They stared at one another, silent except for their
heavy pants.

"You've been pissing me off lately," Taehyung said darkly, voice rough and raspy.
"You hurt me."

"And you're hurting me, but nobody ever wins, hm?" Jeongguk replied darkly.
Taehyung rolled his eyes, and before he could say something snarky back, the younger
connected their lips together again in a heated, frustrated frenzy. Chins bumped and noses
were crushed against one another. It was sloppy with every wet clash of their tongue and
graze of teeth.

But at the same time, it was like every single ounce of their frustrations and pains were out in
the open, being devoured and torn apart by knee-weakening kisses, heavy moans, and
roaming hands squeezing at every inch of supple flesh.

Somewhere along the lines, Jeongguk hopped on the table while Taehyung kicked chairs
aside, the plastic furniture clattering to the ground. Taehyung tilted his head up, capturing his
lips between his, teasing the sensitive skin with his teeth before sliding his tongue into
Jeongguk's hot mouth.

Jeongguk slung his arms around his neck, his legs curling around Taehyung's waist and
bringing him impossibly close, wanting to feel him and push him away out of spite at the
same time. He was split in half, letting his anger control his mind.

He tugged at Taehyung's hair roughly as his mouth opening wide, allowing for Taehyung's
tongue to ravish him properly. They haven't tasted one another in so long it felt foreign, the
way Taehyung felt on him hitting him with so much deja vu that made his entire head spin.

This wasn't exactly how Jeongguk pictured things to turn out to, but he wasn't sure if he was
complaining either no matter how wrong it felt.

Taehyung popped his mouth off his, saliva-coated lips trailing down his jaw and mouthing at
the bone before traveling down to his jugular. Jeongguk let out breathy pants, tilting his back
and letting his eyes fall shut as his nails grazed the nape of his lover's neck.

Taehyung sucked harshly on the skin, keening at every breath Jeongguk sucked in and every
pitchy whimper before swirling his tongue over every bite. He teethed at his collarbone,
nibbling at the ridge. He pulled back, licking a stripe down the younger's neck, glaring at him
while he did so.

It wasn't long until Jeongguk's shirt came off, and unlike what he expected, Jeongguk
flinched, crying out and nearly folding over when Taehyung's hot mouth encompassed his
nipple.

Sensitive, he squirmed beneath wet warmth, fingers yanking Taehyung's locks while the
older's tongue swirled around his sensitive bud. He let out airy moans, toes curling and back
slightly arching forward when Taehyung took it between his teeth, lightly biting down.

"F-fuck you," Jeongguk breathed, writhing in pleasure beneath Taehyung while the older took
his other hardened nipple between his finger, rubbing it relentlessly until the bud was swollen
and sore.

"I'm the one doing that, princess," He shivered as Taehyung's heavy vowels tickled his bare
chest, and again, without any shame he twisted Jeongguk's nipple, making him cry out his
name.
Shit, all of this was different, exhilarating in the most addictive way as adrenaline pounded
through him from their argument mixed with the immense amount of pleasure twisting his
lower stomach into knots.

He was already hard, cock aching and trapped beneath his boxers, dripping wet with so much
precum the material stuck at uncomfortable angles. He dug his ankles into Taehyung's lower
back, trying to fight the moans to spite the older, not letting him have the satisfaction of
undoing him do easily.

But Taehyung wasn't dumb— he caught on. The older scoffed, pulling off his and staring at
his work with a smug smirk. Both nipples were stiff, swollen bright red, and stinging from
the cool air that hit them, making Jeongguk hiss through his teeth.

Little did Jeongguk know, Taehyung was loving every passing second, wanting to get him
back with some sort of payback.

"Same place as always hm?" Taehyung leaned against his ear, teasing the shell with his teeth,
basking in the way Jeongguk trembled below him with this newfound eagerness.

Jeongguk tried to fight the disappointment coiling in around his stomach when Taehyung
turned toward his duffle he dropped by the door. He watched beneath thick lashes as
Taehyung bent over and dug through his bag to find the contents he needed.

"Tell me," Taehyung whispered roughly as he set the mini bottle of lube and condom
wrappers he found on the space beside him.

He kissed Jeongguk again, pushing against his lips hard, stealing the air from his lungs before
pulling back, hair falling over his eyes. He eyed him up and down, his fingers squeezing his
thighs, digging into them, the pain making Jeongguk squeak.

"Did he ever fuck you?"

"W-What? N-No," Jeongguk said, brows drawn tight into a bunch as he let Taehyung take off
his shoes, then his socks, and eventually the rest of his garments.

"Are you lying to me?" Taehyung asked quietly, breath hot against his ear, making him
squirm. He shook his head, staring down at his lap while the older took off his sweatshirt and
dumped it to the ground.

"Let me say this," He yelped, feeling the older push him back and moved his legs. He spread
them aside to give him a better view of his pretty pink little hole, amusement flickering in his
eyes watching Jeongguk clench over nothing.

"Did you ever want him to fuck you, princess?" He hummed, and before Jeongguk could
answer, he gasped out, thighs clenching when the older slipped his fingers into his hole.

"N-No, I s-swear," Jeongguk sputtered. "N-never."

He wrapping his arms around Taehyung's neck, pulling him close as his head leaned against
his bare shoulder. His lips slackened, a moan falling out as Taehyung prodded around inside
of him.

"Did you imagine it?" Taehyung clicked his tongue, adding another one in, eliciting drawn
out whimpers from the younger as his fingers rubbed at his inner walls.

"No," The younger whispered, eyes squeezing shut as he clenched around the older's fingers.
He breathed unevenly, sucking in air through his noses as he felt that addicting burn electrify
his nerves.

"Do you mean it?" Taehyung asked, sliding his fingers out despite the younger tugging at his
hair for him to put it back in.

"I-I do," He nodded, gasping when the older's fingers entered him again, making him jolt as
they brushed over his prostate. Jeongguk dug his fingers into his back, groaning softly as
Taehyung continued to spread him open, his eyelids fluttering shut.

God, he couldn't think straight, especially since he was naked and spread out for Taehyung,
who he was literally shouting at minutes ago. But everything had seemed to mix together
both his pleasure and anger, the lines simply too blurred to focus.

And as much as Jeongguk wanted the last word, the final blow to piss Taehyung off, he just
couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to speak while he fucked him with his fingers, his hips
mindlessly bucking to match his thrusts angled right toward his prostate as he moaned
shamelessly.

What the fuck happened to them?

He wanted him to hurt, but at the same time he couldn't remember why. Why were they doing
this? Arguing? But the thoughts melted away from his mind when he felt the coil inside his
gut tighten.

"Oh princess," The older slipped his fingers out of him, and before he could protest, he
flipped them over, pressing Jeongguk against the table with his ass arched up for him.

Jeongguk held his breath, feeling the older lean on top of him, his clothed hard-on slipping
between his ass. He swallowed, turning his head to get a better look of him only for
Taehyung to grab him by the chin and connect their lips with a sloppy, rough kiss leaving
Jeongguk wanting more and more.

He pulled away, a string of saliva connecting their mouths, which instantly broke when the
older wiped Jeongguk's bottom lip with his thumb. The younger watched him through heavy
eyelids, trying to figure out where they went wrong.

"I'm gonna fuck you better than he ever could," He said over the buckle of his belt as
Taehyung shifted behind him, undressing.

"So good, you'll remember who you're dating."

Jeongguk nodded dumbly, and despite the burning rage and anger bubbling inside of him, he
wanted it bad. So bad he wanted to open his mind and beg for it, but he kept his mouth shut,
wriggling his hips for friction, for relief he so desperately needed.

It wasn't long until then older was inside him, his hips thrusting forward and making
Jeongguk gasp out loud. His whimpers filled the room with every stroke and roll of
Taehyung's hips, his eyes pinched tight while Taehyung fucked him.

He was already mess and nothing even started.

He leaned his forehead against the table, fingers digging into his palms while Taehyung
fucked him roughly from behind. Jeongguk's mouth parted open, gasping, sputtering,
whimpering, mewling with every thrust that shook both his core and the table.

Jeongguk arched his back, crying out a moan at the intensity of being fucked this relentlessly,
this hard without a single stop. His thighs trembled, clenching around Taehyung's cock,
turning his mind into putty at how full he felt.

"F-fuck," He moaned, lips slacked open, drool building at the corner of his mouth. His toes
curled, white stars dotting his vision as Taehyung rammed into him, his rhythm unbreaking.

He was so full of his cock. It filled him up to the brim, choking at the way Taehyung
bottomed out inside of him and slipping out, teasing the tip around his rim painfully slow
before fucking back into him.

He jolted forward, table creaking loudly, and moans an entire symphony making Taehyung
the fucking conductor. Full. So full. The words were muted on his tongue, overcome by the
obscene, lewd noises toppling out of his throat so shamelessly.

"Would he fuck you like that?" Taehyung growled into his ear, his chest pressing against his
back. The younger felt tears pool in his eyes at how good it felt, how deeper Taehyung
plunged into him.

"N-no, h-he— hah," Jeongguk moaned, stomach clenching and thighs trembling and tensing
after Taehyung bucked his hips into him. "S-suh good, hyung. Suh f-fucking big."

"Yeah?" The older breathed, hot whisper tickling his sensitive earlobe. Fuck, Jeongguk felt
his cock twitch, the need for release reaching its breaking point.

"F-feel so f-full hyung," Jeongguk cried out, feeling hot tears stick against his sweaty cheeks
as Taehyung pressed close to him, his cock buried deep inside of him.

"L-love your c-cock in me," He was long gone now, forgetting why they even fought as
pleasure clouded every one of his senses. "W-want it only in me." He said as he pushed back
into Taehyung, wanting it deeper, further.

Wanted to feel his cock pulsate him as his own mercilessly rubbed against the surface of the
table, edging him closer to his release. It was embarassing, being like this. Fucked so harshly
his brains were melted, and his body wanted nothing but Taehyung's cock. Felt dirty,
addictive, really.
"He could never fuck you like this, princess. Only I could fill you up, hm?" Taehyung
snapped, fingers digging into Jeongguk's hip as he continued to ram into him. Jeongguk
nodded, lost in the moans that seemed infinite on his lips.

"You think I'm not enough for you, Gguk?" He growled, slowing his pace and pulling out of
him. Jeonggul shook his head, desperately clenching around Taehyung, eyes rolling at how
thick he was.

"So you go ahead," He murmured raspily, breathing heavy, "and find somebody else, thinking
they could fuck you the way I do?"

"N-No hyung, I s-swear," Jeongguk whimpered, wiggling his hips, wanting more. "I-I only
want you. J-Just you." Jeongguk suddenly jolted forward, his eyebrows raised in shock at the
sting.

Did he just... slap his ass?

"Then why did you say I'm worth nothing, huh?" He chuckled lowly, kneading at Jeongguk's
asscheeks, member unmoving inside of him.

"When you're like this with my cock? Ruined?"

"I-I didn't mean it," Jeongguk said exasperatedly, "I didn't mean it, hyung." He gasped again,
brows drawing together at the second slap, the burn oddly (surprisingly) good. Too good. His
dick twitched.

"Prove it," Taehyung hummed, squeezing his ass once more before delivering another jolting
slap making him lurch forward. "You have some apologizing to do, princess."

"H-hyung— hngh," Jeongguk sputtered, a moaning mess as Taehyung smacked him again,
making him see fucking stars and his own erection throbbing, wanting release.

"That wasn't an apology, Jeongguk," The older seethed, rubbing his fingers over his sore
asscheek. "You avoided me for weeks, and I'm here, fucking you better than anyone else.

"You don't deserve this."

"I-I deserve it!" Jeongguk whined, pushing himself up with the remainder of his strength with
his elbows. He hung his head, trying to ignore how painfully tight the coil in his stomach
was, but it was impossible when Taehyung slapped him again.

"P-please," Jeongguk begged, impatient with the way Taehyung hadn't moved one inch when
he was so close to cumming. "P-please fuck me. W-wanna feel your c-cock, hyung. Wanna be
full."

"That's what you want?" He nodded shamefully.

He gasped as the older pulled out completely. He let Taehyung flip him over so now he was
on his back, sitting up. Jeongguk sniffled, trying to decipher his hardened stare but failing
miserably as he his hands found purchase on his broad fingers, nails digging into the tanned
flesh.

"You make it so fucking hard to get mad at you, Jeongguk," Taehyung whispered quietly, and
for a second, his gaze softened as his hand grazed his tear-stained cheek.

"I think I love you way too much, it'll kill me," He chuckled bitterly. "But that doesn't matter
right? 'Cuz tomorrow, you'll be gone."

"Taehyung," Jeongguk murmured, brows knitting together, "I want to say it. I-I really do."

"Then why haven't you?" Pain flashed in the older's eyes. "Why won't you?" He swallowed
thickly.

"I can't," He shook his head, feeling the older tense beneath him. "It's not right."

"Then when will it be," Taehyung asked, "now? Tomorrow? A few months from now?
Never?"

"Not now," Jeongguk shook his head, biting down on his lip. "But it's not 'never' either."

"I don't know if I can wait for you anymore. I've been waiting for too long," Taehyung
whispered, holding onto him tightly as if he were to let go, he would really lose him. For
good.

"We're hurting each other, Gguk."

"I know," The younger gulped. "I know we are."

Neither one of them said a word as Taehyung entered him once more, getting them both to
the end of their limits Jeongguk hugged him tight, leaning his chin on his shoulder, not daring
to let go of him as his moans were more subdued, muffled even.

He bit his lip, burying his face into his shoulder, inhaling his musky scent as the tears that
prickled at his eyes weren't out of pleasure but sadness. Hurt.

All kinds of pain that seemed to be this neverending spectrum thet fell between too much and
too much to bear. Where they stood was obvious, but neither one wanted to acknowledge it.

Eventually Jeongguk came, mouth splayed open as his orgasm crashed over him, consuming
him and swelling in a crescendo of pleasure that made his thighs tense and hole clench
around Taehyung's length.

He spilled strips of milky white all over them, the substance sticking onto their sweaty skin.
Stars fluttered beneath his eyelids, and soon the tide of his orgasm receding away.

He collapsed in exhaustion against Taehyung's build while the older finished, feeling his
thrusts become unevenly paced, his rhythm falling apart to his orgasm that eventually hit him
too.
When Taehyung was done, low, resonant moans replacing the lewdness of bare skin slapping
against skin, they became silent. Both of them were catching their breaths, adrenaline fading
and exhaustion finally making their limbs ache.

The older pulled out of him, the emptiness simply incomparable to the hollowness in
Jeongguk's chest when Taehyung pried his arms from around him.

Neither one of them looked at one another, for their hearts were too heavy and the pain of
their previous argument began to settle in thick. All those horrible, insulting words meant to
create pain worked.

God, they ruined this. It was salvageable at first, but after what they said? What they could
never take back? No apology could ever make up for the hurt they inflicted because it was the
truth.

Even if they said they didn't mean it, then why did they say it in the first place?

Jeongguk blinked out of his thoughts, realizing that Taehyung was already dressed after
disposing of their mess. He brought his legs to his chest, wincing as he hugged him close,
watching him with saddened eyes as the older adjusted his belt.

And just like that, before he could even get a word in that was sharp enough to cut through
this layered silence of their own pain, Taehyung left.

He left, and there did he realize that while he may have had him as a boyfriend, Jeongguk lost
his best friend.

♡♡♡

"Why are you here?" It was late when Jimin opened the door to his dorm, confusion knitting
his brows seeing the younger standing in the hallway.

"Where's Jeongguk?" He asked, leaning against the frame. "Did you guys make up?"
Taehyung remained silent, his expression unreadable but his lips were trembling.

"Taehyung? What's wrong?" The older asked, and before he realize what's going on
Taehyung burst into tears.

Eyes wide, Jimin swallowed, not expecting that, but of course he pushed his ego aside and
wrapped his arms around Taehyung no matter how awkward it was. He patted his back, still
very confused as the younger sobbed into his shoulder, hunched over him.
"What happened? Are you two okay?" He asked, concern lacing his words as Taehyung
sobbed harder. He frowned a little, feeling Taehyung's tears soak through his shirt.

"I'm taking that as a 'no'," Jimin whispered when the younger still hadn't calmed down, his
entire body tremoring with every sob.

However, it wasn't long until Jimin realized what had happened, for the familiar stench stuck
on the younger's skin reached his nose. Jimin rolled his eyes, but he said nothing, instead
holding him tighter.

"It'll be okay," Jimin rocked him a little, the two swaying beneath the dim hallway lights at
the latest time ever. "You two will be okay," He said, only for Taehyung to cry harder.

"You'll be okay," He whispered again, meaning every word and hoping things weren't too far
gone from saving.
 lost & found

♡♡♡

Taehyung wasn't home when he came back.

What did he even expect? For Taehyung to come running back to him and jump into his
arms, kiss him, hold him like he used to, and declare his love for him? After all they said, the
hurt they inflicted, and the pain they were causing one another?

It was stupid. Stupid, all of this, but it was his fault for setting the fucking fuse that ruined the
best thing that had ever happened to him.

When he came back to an empty, dark dorm, the room lacking the usual warmth that he used
to bask in. He glanced over at the small kitchenette, chest clenching when he realized there
was no light on, no Taehyung singing to himself, and certainly no bowl of cereal with the
prettiest boy waiting for him.

And it was then, did his throat began to swell. It stung, the reality of what they did, like a
harsh slap to his face which he honestly deserved.

He dropped his duffle by the couch, kicked his shoes off, and wandered over to his room,
feeling as if he was sinking into the flooring with every heavy step. If only his heart was
numb, maybe this would have been easier, but he knew better.

This wouldn't be easy any other way.

Jeongguk inhaled unevenly, the air struggling to fill his constricted lungs as he clumsily lost
his footing. He clutched the doorframe, lowering himself against it, eyes pinching shut while
every breath he took was labored, unbearably suffocating.

He fucked up. Fucked up everything. And at this point, no should-have or what-if could ever
reverse what he had done. It happened, and it fucked them up. There was no taking back
anything.

And certainly, there was no way to forget when everywhere he looked, he saw him.

He saw him and his dorky box-smile, smelled his sweet perfume that lingered even if he was
already walking away, heard the sound of his deep laughter ringing against his ear. Heard the
ghost of his vowels saying his name, the pad of his footsteps, felt the phantom of his fingers
beneath his jaw, and the pressure of his lips on his.
It wasn't fair but at the same time, it was. He got what he deserved, what he knew was
impending but chose to ignore.

Hell, Jeongguk could throw a tantrum, scream and kick, and even hit but nothing would give
Taehyung back to him.

Why should he get back the person he chose to push away?

Regret— that was it. It consumed him, devouring at every piece of his insides until he was
nothing but bone and purposefuly left a heavy heart that tortured him as it fell into pieces he
could no longer pick up.

It wrapped around his throat and suffocated him, forcing the air out of his lungs. Made it
harder to breathe, to ease his chest before he could start to spin out of control—

Jeon Jeongguk didn't cry. He rarely did.

But now, he wanted to. Fuck, he wanted to.

It was there, that gradual burn behind his eyes. It prickled at his retinas out of frustration and
pain. It stung, burned, and wavered behind his eyes, as if it was a dam controlled by his mind
except that part of him was already about to crumble.

Jeongguk sucked in a shaky breath, forcing himself to push up against the wall and stand
straight. He squeezed his eyes shut, begging himself to stay together but he couldn't.

Taehyung was the person who picked up his pieces and put them back together until he was
whole again. No, fuck that. He did more. He rearranged the fragments, putting care and effort
into repairing the most fragile parts, and in the end, he managed to weave himself into a spot
in his heart that nobody else was ever able to do.

But what did Jeongguk do to him?

He smashed his. Took his fucking heart for granted and ignored it. Stepped on it. Pulled it
apart when he put him back together. He broke him when all the older was trying to do was
repair him, love him.

Fuck, he couldn't stay here when his entire place just screamed Taehyung's name over and
over again. It was silent but deafening, those screams. The regret and the guilty twisting his
insides, making him writhe with self-hate.

You lost him. You fucking lost him. You don't deserve him. His mind tortured him, and perhaps
that was what he deserved. But like the coward he was, he ran. He tried to escape.

And so, Jeongguk went to the gym.

It wasn't that hard to get in. He had keys since he was the captain. People weren't there to
question him either. It was late, and he could be alone. He was alone.
Time blurred, meaningless, while Jeongguk stood in the dark gym, the only light being the
moon as it spilled in from the windows high up on the walls. It was cold, the frost numbing
his skin, and for fleeting moments it numbed his emotions but barely.

The only thing that came to mind that could help was volleyball.

He stood by the service line, a cart of volleyballs by his side and one in between his palms.
He stared down at it, spinning it once then twice, thumb running over the ivory leather.

Volleyball was always there for him. It was there when he needed an escape, a
new friend because every kid at the elementary school would bully him for his teeth and his
awkward, large nose and his soft doe eyes meant for the faces more feminine.

It was there when his sister got injured and all he needed was company when she disappeared
for a while, too lost in her mind to play with him. So upset she couldn't look him in the eye.

It was there for when his mother and father were fighting more often and saw less of each
other than usual. It was there when he was frustrated his dad walked out on them, frustrated
when he thought his parents gave up, and all he wanted to do was hit his emotions out.

The game was more than just a sport to him.

Volleyball was his safety net, something he could rely on when breathing was so fucking
difficult, or when existing was unbearable. It was his longest friend, his first love, something
he could never lose, and the only thing he thought that he needed.

Or well, that was what he thought. He thought there was no more room left in him to love.
His family and volleyball were the only things he imagined he could possibly be capable of
loving.

But when he got the privilege of getting to know Kim Taehyung, it was then did he realize he
was wrong.

So fucking wrong because the way he felt for him wasn't enough to confine to a four-letter
word, to one universal definition because Taehyung rewrote the meaning of it over and over
again, transcending universes and galaxies with every second he had the chance to experience
him.

Call him too young, or too naive, or a stupid teen, but this was one of the few things he was
sure about.

He, Jeon Jeongguk, was so irrevocably in love with Kim Taehyung.

And that— that scared the fuck out of him because it was supposed to be just volleyball. Only
volleyball. Only his family. There was no room for anyone else until Kim fucking Taehyung
touched him without even using his hands and made himself a room in his heart.

Now, that room was vacant.

There was no more Taehyung, and maybe that was why he decided to choose volleyball over
him. It would never leave him no matter what he did. It always stayed by his side.

Yet, he wondered if Taehyung would have done the same. Would have loved him so much
more than the definition of love provided. If he chose Taehyung, maybe he would stay.

But now he wouldn't know. He couldn't know.

All he had left was volleyball, and fuck him for being selfish, but it wasn't it enough
anymore. Why was it not enough when he was content with volleyball for all this time?

Why was he so fucking empty?

Why, of all times, was volleyball failing to comfort him?

Jeongguk blinked back tears, struggling to breathe as he served the ball over the net, hitting
the ball harder with every serve. He slammed it across, body trembling and palm vividly red,
numb like the rest of him.

The balls bounced to the ground once it breezed by the net, the sound hollow like his chest. It
wasn't enough. The pain wasn't subsiding like usual with every hit, every smack of the ball
across the net. It wasn't going away— why wasn't it leaving?

Instead, it was getting worse.

Frustration painted his every action as the void inside of him grew. His form was growing
sloppy, fatigue tugged at his joints, at his knees with every jump. His breath was ragged,
ruined, and his head was dizzy and light.

"Fuck!" He cried out in desperation, slamming the ball across the net, hoping this time he
would be satisified. He wasn't. He was still empty.

Jeongguk stopped jump serving for his legs trembled below him, instead standing there,
tossing it up and hitting it over and over until his elbows began to throb and his hand was
tingling. He gritted his teeth together, struggling to breathe.

Why wasn't he feeling better? Why wasn't hitting the ball helping? Why was he still fucking
hurting? Why, why, why?

"Jeongguk!" Somebody called his name, but the words were muffled by the rush of his blood
pumping against his skull and his uneven breaths.

He grabbed another ball, holding it out and tossing it and slamming it across. Jeongguk cried
out another flurry of swears, hands shaking as he reached for another ball.

"Jeongguk, fuck, stop that," He couldn't see who it was in the darkness, for their face was
blurry and the faster his breathing quickened, his head was like static.

He held the ball up, ready to send it across despite the tremor that wrecked through his entire
body. He ignored the sting in his legs, his lowerback, and the building of fatigue in his
upperbody and arms. Fuck, the pain, it wasn't going away— it devoured him.

And maybe he deserved that, but at the same time, he felt betrayed.

Hurt that volleyball, the only constant in his entire life, wasn't saving him this time around.

What else was going to leave him? What else was he going to fuck up?

"You're bleeding, jesus christ," He blinked again, seeing it was Jae. Another blink. Still Jae.
Almost mechanically he reached for the ball, but the older grabbed his wrist.

"What the fuck's gotten into you, huh?" Jae asked, and there, in his eyes, was worry.
Jeongguk couldn't speak, his throat being too tight to get a proper word out. He blinked once
more.

"Your fingers are bleeding. Your palm— fuck, you are a fucking idiot," Jae mumbled, ripping
the ball from his hands and throwing it aside. He stepped closer, taking his numbed hand and
inspecting it.

"Why are you here?" He managed to croak out, barely wincing when Jae ran his fingers over
his finger, which seemed to be now damp with his own red blood.

"Yugyeom and San went to your dorm and nobody was there. Not even him, so of course I
offered to find you," Jae said, delicately holding Jeongguk's hand in his, making sure not to
touch the sore bone.

"Did something happen?" He asked. Jeongguk exhaled, or at least, attempted to. All that
came out was a sniffle. "You can tell me, Jeon."

"Was it Taehyung?" Jeongguk closed his eyes, begging himself not to cry even though his
entire body burned and tears dug into his eyes like thorns.

"Whatever it was," Jae continued, "You need to not hurt yourself. This isn't healthy, wearing
yourself out. If you don't wanna talk, okay. We can get out of here and just take a walk and
breathe."

"Breathe, okay? Just, please, focus on that first."

The younger nodded stiffly, brows drawing together as he tried to focus on calming himself
down. He felt Jae's hand rub up and down his shoulder, mumbling things he couldn't pick up
over the incessant throb of heartbeat. He swallowed thickly, sucking in a shaky breath.

"Good," Jae said, patting his side, staring at him with concern, "you'll be okay, Jeongguk. It'll
be okay."

But it was then, did he finally break.

The first sob was silent, washing over him once, and the wave only consumed for a second
before he resurfaced.
But it was the second one, the one that constricted his chest, made his throat close, and eyes
sting, felt like a wave of acid suddenly being thrown on him, burning every inch of his body.

It wrecked through his throat, that sob, and the tears flowed out uncontrollably. He crumbled
apart, the imaginary acid wearing him down, burning through the bone, and the pain was
intensified, still ever so consuming.

"Fuck," Jae whispered softly, placing his hands on his shoulders, holding him. "Jeongguk," he
repeated his name, but both knew it was a filler for the words neither of them had.

"I lost him," Jeongguk managed out, forcing the vowels past his tongue. "I hurt him."

"We had sex," He continued, and now it was as if the dam to his words seemed to have
broken apart. "We should have talked but we fucked. We fucked and then he said we were
hurting one another, and it was so fucking true, and I-I hugged him to get him to stay longer
but he l-left."

"I lost him," He repeated, voice hollowed out. Defeated. "I fucking lost him."

Jae squeezed his shoulder, gaze softening, "You don't know that for sure." Jeongguk scoffed,
the sound more like a choke as he scraped at the tears still falling freely from his eyes.

"I know I lost him. We fought. I was so angry and so was he, and we said shit," He spat, "We
hurt each other more. I hurt him more. I told him lies, Jae. I told him he was ugly, when he
—,"

He half expected for Jae to be judging him, to leave his side as well, but the older merely
listened. He didn't budge. Jeongguk inhaled again, desperate to get some control— after all,
Jeons didn't cry.

"He's so fucking breathtaking. He's more than beautiful. He's gorgeous. He's everything to
me, and I told him he meant nothing," Jeongguk's voice cracked.

"I called him worthless when he's worth everything. Every fucking second. Every fucking
compliment, He cried out. "I lost him for good."

"No, you didn't. You don't know that, and we will get this sorted out alright?" Jae said,
squeezing his shoulders again, shaking him a little to make him meet his gaze.

"We will sort this out. You two will be okay."

"You say that so easily," Jeongguk whispered, "but you weren't there. Y-you didn't see how
bad we are f-for each other."

"That's a fucking lie Jeongguk," Jae shook his head. "You two are meant for another."

"No we aren't," Jeongguk sobbed, face contorting with pain as the truth finally slipped
through his lips.

"We were better off as friends."

"Is that what you think?" Jae asked, oddly calm and collected, a contrast to the mess
Jeongguk was. The younger nodded dumbly before shrugging and shaking his head and
sobbing all over again.

"I-I don't know," He murmured, "I don't know what I think. I j-just want him, Jae. I w-want
him, but I-I lost him. I fucking lost him."

"It was all my fault. I-I couldn't love him like he wanted me to. L-Like I wanted to,"
Jeongguk cried.

"I love him, and I fucking lost him."

Jae didn't say anything more, instead wrapped his arms around him and hugged him to make
up for an answer he didn't have.

He let him lean his forehead on his shoulder to cry it all out, let each sob leave him wrung
dry and broken and ultimately alone.

He should have tried harder.

♡♡♡

"So it came to this," Jimin rubbed Taehyung's back as the two of them sat on his couch, the
two of them sitting by side while Taehyung stared at the wall in front of them.

At least he wasn't crying anymore, but he couldn't ignore the void in his chest, devouring him
from the inside out and leaving him hollow. His eyes were still swollen from sobbing into
Jimin's shoulder for the last few hours. His throat was a bit raw.

With all honesty, he didn't know how he should be feeling. All those nasty words, insults, and
attempts to pry deeper and rip at barely healed wounds should have offended him more, hurt
him more.

But it didn't. He wasn't pissed off but frustrated. So damn frustrated that this even happened.

They were doing so good at the start. Hell, they told one another they were going to make it
work, and for some time they did. They were happy and falling in love and caught up in one
another— it felt right.

Jeongguk felt right.

And then they fell apart over something insignificant but at the same time, controlled every
aspect of their future together. They were supposed to have a future together, but even that
didn't sound right as he said it.

Jeongguk's future was volleyball— both of them knew it. It was this unspoken truth that hung
above their heads, and neither one wanted to be the person who dropped the blade and ruin
what they had.

Perhaps that was their mistake.

Thinking about a future together when maybe being apart was the right answer all along.

Taehyung was afraid that once Jeongguk opened his mouth, rejection would come out all
over again, and maybe that was why he didn't listen. It was a stupid fear, rejection, and
maybe he shouldn't have let that consume him.

Because he realized Jeongguk always loved him a little too late now that his head was
cleared.

Deep down, he knew words weren't enough to describe how much they loved one another. He
knew it only took one look. One simple look that said all the things words couldn't.

And he overlooked it.

He let insecurities eat him up to the bone, tearing him apart, and left him questioning parts of
their relationship that already had an answer. He was stupid.

Terribly stupid and chose to ignore it when they should have acknowledged everything.
Talked about everything. Listened to everything. But now, that was chance to savage things
were gone.

He should have tried harder.

"What are you going to do now?" Jimin asked, voice softened to a whisper. "Are you gonna
talk to him?"

"I don't know," Taehyung said the truth. "I don't know if we can go back to one another."

"You can't give up, Tae," The blonde raised an eyebrow at him. Taehyung shook his head.

"I never said I was giving up," He whispered quietly, running his fingers over his knee,
tracing around the cap. "I-I just don't think it'll be the same."

"'Course it won't. You can fix things," Jimin tried to stay positive, which was odd coming
from him, but the younger appreciated it anyways.

"I don't know. He called me ugly and worthless. I told him he didn't give a shit about his
mom," He let out a bitter laugh, feeling the older's hand on his back freeze.

"He trusted me with her, and I crossed the line."

"You did, but so did he. He shouldn't have called you those things," Jimin replied, "no matter
how mad you two were, both of you did cross the line."

"Then I don't think we can go back," Taehyung whispered, voice slightly cracking around the
edges. "Maybe we shouldn't be together."

"You're thinking about breaking up?" Jimin asked.

"I don't know," He said, teeth clamping down on his lip, chewing at the skin. "I don't want
to." But we need to.

"Well then explain to me why," The blonde said, pulling his hand away from him and settling
it on his own lap. "Tell me, and I'll tell you my unbiased opinion. You don't wanna do
something you regret, alright?"

"I know," He knew what he meant, really. When you break up, all the ties are severed unless
you take the time to reattach all the links you had to one another. Break-ups are painful—
Taehyung had heard the horror stories.

"It's permanent, and going back last minute only does more damage. It's either you break up
if you believe it's needed, or you hold on to each other and work it out," Jimin shrugged.

"But of course, cut them off when it's toxic." At that, the younger flinched. Jimin swallowed,
"I'm sorry."

"No, it's true," Taehyung said, hating the wave of fatigue that washed over him all of a
sudden. Though it made sense as he glanced at the clock. It was already three in the morning.

"Yeah," Jimin nodded, carding his fingers through his hair. "Y'know, before Namjoon became
a shitty guy, he was wise. He used to be the one who gave us all advice before high school."

"Really?" He raised an eyebrow at the older, not quite expecting that from how nasty Kim
Namjoon was. Sure, he was all dimpled-smiles and smooth words, but he wasn't a saint.

"Yeah, before drinking and partying and sex, Joon used to be nice," Something like pain
hinted behind the older's words, or perhaps it was nostalgia, but neither of them mentioned it.

"He told me that in relationships, people should be sharing equal energy. The goal is to make
each other shine brighter. You shouldn't be putting so much energy into them that you burn
out and they shine brighter, but at the same time, you shouldn't put so little energy so that you
shine more than them."

"It's a balance," Jimin whispered, threading his own pudgy fingers together over his lap.
"Namjoon said this to Yoongi before his break up with Hoseok."

"I remember that," Taehyung hummed. "Didn't they mutually drift apart?" He couldn't
possibly imagine drifting away from Jeongguk, but it had already happened before he could
even blink.

"Well it was part of the reason. Yoongi ended it after Namjoon told him this," The older said.
"I think for them, neither one was putting any effort so the light just burned out on its own."

"Is that what's happening to Jeongguk and me?" He asked, voice slightly wavering as he
stared down at his lap, teeth digging harder into his lip.

"Is it, Tae?" Jimin asked. The younger said nothing.

"M'not good at relationships," The older proceeded, managing a laugh from Taehyung,
though for him it was merely a reaction, a sound he didn't mean.

"But I do think you need to talk to him," Jimin said, pattimg his shoulder once more. "Maybe
breaking up is the answer. Maybe fixing things is. All I know is that losing him isn't. It's not
worth it."

"We can always forgive, no matter how impossible it seems."

"You're right," Taehyung murmured, tilting his gaze up to meet the older's. "And you said
you suck at people skills." He added, the edge of his lip tugging upward ever so briefly.

"I do," Jimin said, "but I observe. I like it better that way. Less messier."

"What happened to you over break?" He found himself asking before he could hold back, and
he honestly half-expected Jimin to kick him out by the way his expression contorts,
unreadable.

"I'm sorry—," Jimin raised his hand, his gaze gentle.

"My mom died over summer," He explained, words small yet at the same time
strong, pained. "I was a mess. She was my sense of direction and the person who told me if I
was stepping out of line."

"I'm sorry," Taehyung repeated again. He meant it. Jimin merely smiled, fleeting.

"I lost her. She died in a car accident. I was lost for a while. I lost my friends, I lost Jeongguk,
and I lost her. My dad wasn't pretty nice. He's a rich bastard," Jimin chuckled lowly, the
sound void of humor.

"But after Jeongguk and I fought, and he told me he liked you and we ended our friendship, I
left. I went to visit my mom's grave in Busan," Jimin said, leaning back into the couch.

"I spoke to her grave every day of winter break, and I guess I found my sense of direction
again. While loving Jeongguk might have been the reason why I continued living back then, I
realized I couldn't hold onto that," Jimin whispered.

"I realized I needed to find myself my own reason to exist. One that wasn't a person because I
needed to work on finding my own path."

Jimin was right.

All this time, Taehyung was lost, and Jeongguk was there to make sense out of the confusion
he found himself so deep in. For a while, maybe Jeongguk was the answer, but he knew it
couldn't be permanent.

He didn't have any passions. He studied hard, worked hard, filled all his time with things to
put on his college resumee. All he dreamed for was to get out of the farm and live some
meaningful life and do something great.

After all, he was a teenager. His life was just starting, and that meaning, he hadn't found just
yet, so of course, it was natural to be confused. To not know who he was just yet.

And that was okay. Jimin was telling him that it was okay to not who you were, and to not
have a sense of direction. They were young and dumb and life was waiting to provide them
an experience where they could learn who they are.

One day he would find himself, find his passion, and discover the meaning he wanted to live
his life with. For now, he didn't know, but maybe it was good to not know just yet.

He had all the time to figure out who he was. To love himself properly and accept himself.

Jeongguk wasn't going to give him that answer. He already figured out his future, his career
path, and maybe the younger was like him— still trying to figure himself out. But he knew
they couldn't figure eachother out for one another.

Taehyung had no right to hold him back from discovering himself. It was the same way
Jeongguk didn't either. While they thought being together was the answer to their confusion,
perhaps they were wrong.

Perphas being apart might be the answer all a long.

"I think, even if you found the love of your life," Jimin whispered, now sitting up and facing
the younger. "It could wait. Finding yourself can't. I think you need to love yourself before
loving another person."

"Do you love yourself?" Taehyung asked, swallowing.

"I'm working on it," Jimin's lips broke out into a smile, one that made Taehyung's heavy heart
spur to life. "Do you?"

"I'm far from it," He laughed, effortlessly this time, and it didn't suffocate him— the sound.
Instead, it flowed past his lips, the feeling good, euphoric.

It was a whole rush of emotions, and maybe it was the overwhelming sensation of frustration
working with the pain, the anger, the happiness, and the meaningful words the older said that
possesed Taehyung to kiss Park Jimin.

It was a mistake the second Taehyung placed his lips over his. Neither of them moved,
frozen, the laughter cut short, and their hearts frozen in place. Their lips were stoic on one
another's— this wasn't right.
It took a moment, to register what was going on, but the person to break the silence wasn't
one of them.

"I did not expect this," Both of them jumped apart, guilt rushing through Jimin and
Taehyung's faces as they saw a boy standing at the doorway.

"Aren't you Park Jimin?" The person said, voice thickly accented. Taehyung blinked,
adjusting his glasses to get a better look of who it is— he sounded familiar.

"Yeah, and you?" Jimin cleared his throat, sitting far away from Taehyung.

"Nakamoto Yuta," The stranger said, crossing his arms. "And who must this be? His
roommate?"

"No," Taehyung forced out, voice suddenly dry. "My name's Taehyung." Something sinister
flashed in Yuta's eyes.

"Taehyung? Huh, I heard about you," Yuta chuckled, smirking. "Well, I was here to find a
temporary dorm. I spoke to the rooming service, and they told me I was staying with the
volleyball team's setter. How funny is that? Cuz I'm a setter too!"

"A setter from where?" Jimin's voice was nearly muted by the pounding of Taehyung's own
blood in his ears. Fuck, he felt dizzy, the guilt of being caught for a simple mistake making
him nauseous.

"I'm from Team Japan."

Taehyung swore the wind was knocked out of his chest. Now he knew who he was. And
Jimin seemed to know too.

"Well, goodnight. I suppose I'll return to my hotel room and leave you both to that," Yuta
waved, other hand lingering on the door knob. "It was great to meet you, Jimin. Taehyung."

And with that, he left, leaving Jimin and Taehyung alone in the dark of his dorm, sitting on
opposite ends of the couch. They were screwed, they knew that. Guilty, as well. It was a
mistake, but it wasn't a small one.

And both of them knew very well that no sorry they could say would make Jeon Jeongguk
ever forgive them if he were to find out.
 temporary & permanent

♡♡♡

The Kim Taehyung he used to know wasn't a fuck-up.

He was careful, considerate. He dedicated himself to working hard, to chase his dreams of
getting into a good school because there was nothing else that concerned him. All he was
focused on was blending in, blurring into the crowds of faces because every second in his life
he stuck out.

And once those people noticed him, they were cruel. Called him ugly. Made sure his life was
a living hell even though all he did was exist.

So Taehyung always played it safe. Always played it nice. He wanted to be the good guy, the
one that everyone could trust. He wanted to be liked, even though his looks back then
stripped him of an easy chance.

He kept his friend circle closed, never letting anyone in without being sure. He was good at
school, did his job well. He helped others every chance he had, and in return, he was nice to
everyone even if they were rude to him because he told himself every single day that he
would never stoop so low.

But look at him now.

The Kim Taehyung he used to know was not like this. Rash, indecisive, cruel, or full of
overwhelming regret and guilt that left his head spinning, stomach churning— nauseous.

Surely, the old Kim Taehyung also didn't go around kissing boys that weren't his boyfriends.

Boys that weren't Jeon Jeongguk.

Fuck, after they were caught, he couldn't breathe. It started off with quiet swears and shaking
his head over until his vision blurred, then suddenly he was blinking back tears, hot, angry
tears directed mostly at himself for being so goddamn stupid.

He still couldn't feel his chest. It was airy, tight, all of the oxygen inside of his lungs
nonexistent as though he didn't deserve to breathe. He didn't deserve shif because he cheated.
He was a cheater.

Taehyung had never stooped this low in his entire life, and as much as he wanted to cry, and
scream at the world for being unfair, this was his fault.
All of this was his fucking fault.

Jimin didn't talk to him after Yuta left. The older merely stared at the floor, trembling with
quiet rage, not daring to meet Taehyung's eyes. When he tried to touch him, to pat his
shoulder, Jimin swatted him away.

"You should leave," Jimin exhaled shakily, nostrils flaring and eyes fixed down on the carpet.
"F-fuck, we n-need to tell Jeongguk."

"J-Jimin, I'm sorry," He whispered, words wavering, breaking apart on his tongue. "I-I'm so
sorry."

"I-It's not me you should be apologizing too," The older sat up, staring back at him, eyes
heavy with pain. Disappointment. Taehyung nodded numbly as he got off the couch.

"You need to leave." And so, he did.

He went back to the dorm; it was all that he had. Of course, there was no way he was going
to Hoseok and Jin, knowing they would be mad at Jeongguk when really, the younger did
nothing, but those two would side with him any day.

Plus they had other things to worry about— real ones. Problems that considered their futures,
not useless drama and fucked-up mistakes that only Taehyung could deal with.

Nobody else needed to get involved. He already hurt Jeongguk. That itself was enough pain
on his own.

Fuck, he could barely hold himself together as he opened the door. Taehyung leaned against
the door, hands trembling, lungs struggling to suck in air as his chest rose and fell unevenly.

Taehyung squeezed his eyes shut, forcing himself to breathe through his nose. He didn't
deserve to cry. Not now, not ever. He didn't even have the fucking right to be sad right now.

He shut the door behind him, flinching slightly when it slammed closed on accident. He
glanced at the door, staring at nothing in particular as he tried to get a grip, tried to hold onto
the pieces of himself before he could shatter because now, he didn't know if he knew how to
put those parts together again.

Jeongguk did that for him. Jeongguk put his pieces back together and called him beautiful all
that time ago.

He rubbed his hands down his face, trying to snap out of it, but with each passing second he
struggled to pick up his own pieces. They fell from his grasp, scattering around the ground,
until he could no longer hold them in anymore.

Taehyung let out a quiet sob, his arms hugging his body close as his fingers dug into his
biceps. He bit down on his lip, teeth clamping on the skin as he tried to hold it in, tried to
push it back in but the tears escaping past his eyes were already flowing.
God, he regretted this, hated every second that he spent without Jeongguk, but what could he
do? He did this to himself and he hated it.

He hated that he couldn't be in his warm arms, hold him and never fucking let go like he
promised. Or lean into the crook of his neck and inhale his scent to remind himself that he
was loved, that he was safe. Feel his lips graze his forehead, fingers pushing his hair behind
ear, and whispering to him that he was all kinds of beautiful.

God, they had it all. They had it all and he ruined it. He let go of it and took it for granted.
They had the chance to talk it out, to fix themselves, but now even one conversation couldn't
repair the damage already done.

No matter how much he wanted Jeongguk, he knew he already lost him.

There was no excuse when you hurt someone the way they hurt each other.

"Taehyung?"

He swore he heard him among his quiet sniffles, but he was sure it was just his head messing
with him. He swiped roughly at his eyes, palming rubbing at the skin beneath his fogged
glasses.

He slowly glanced up, hiccuping, the rims of his eyes slightly swollen as he noticed a shadow
approaching him. Taehyung sucked in a ragged breath, nails digging into his skin upon
hearing footsteps.

It took a second until his vision focused, and the moment it did, his breath hitched. Was he
seeing things right? Was he really seeing Jeongguk?

Jeongguk stopped in front of him, hands at his sides awkwardly. Neither one of them said a
word, instead staring at one another, unable to move as if there was some invisible barrier
between them, making them unreachable.

The younger was changed, wearing a pair of sweatpants and an oversized hoodie. He wore
the hood, the dark material casting a deeper shadow over his features, but if he peered closer,
he could see the hurt in Jeongguk's pale features.

"Jeongguk," He whispered, name so soft on his tongue he wasn't sure if he really said it out
loud. But he must have done so, for Jeongguk was already striding toward him.

"I'm—," Taehyung gasped, feeling Jeongguk's strong arms throw around him and pull him
close, his chest pressing hard against his, almost knocking the wind out of his lungs.

"Don't," Jeongguk mumbled, voice rough, gravely as though he had been crying. "I just...
wanna hold you." He said, hugging him closer.

"P-Please, let me hold you."

Taehyung said nothing, eyes falling shut as he leaned his head against his shoulder. God, he
couldn't, he shouldn't be doing this after what he did. Half of him wanted to throw up, the bile
already collecting in his throat, knowing he cheated, that he didn't deserve this.

And the other half of him missed this. He realized that it had been so long since the last time
they held one another properly, and now that he had it, even for a moment, he didn't want to
let go.

If he let go, he was afraid of what would become of them. So, Taehyung forced the bile back
down and buried his face into the crook of Jeongguk's neck, breathing him in, letting his
smell overwhelm the guilt, the regret, and the pain devouring him whole.

"I'm sorry," Taehyung blurted, words muffled against Jeongguk's skin. For a moment,
Jeongguk's grip loosened. In seconds, he was already panicking, but at the same time he was
ready to face that this was it.

This would be their permanent goodbye.

But it wasn't. Not yet at least as Jeongguk pressed his body into his impossibly closer. He fit
into him perfectly, being the last missing pieces to really make him feel whole even if this
was only temporary.

"I'm sorry, too," Jeongguk whispered, squeezing the older's waist. He buried his face into the
side of the older's dark hair, breath hot and shaking against the shell of his ear.

"I was thinking," The younger said, "I remembered when we were at the train station. I
remembered my promise to you." Taehyung squeezed his eyes closed, heart ripping out of his
chest.

"Do you remember it?" The older nodded.

"I told you that you drive me crazy," Jeongguk chuckled a little at the memory, though behind
the light sound, Taehyung could hear the pain in it. As if it broke him to remember how
happy they were.

"You still do, honestly. I can't picture myself without you." Me either, Taehyung wanted to
say, but if he did speak, he would end up sobbing. No. He wanted to stay together, to live in
this final moment before it would all go wrong.

Before Jeongguk would find out that he cheated on him, and the love he had in his eyes
would turn to hate. As much as Taehyung hated rejection, he knew he deserved Jeongguk's.

"I want you to know, that I wanted to choose both you and volleyball, Tae," Jeongguk
whispered. "I promised you that we would work this out, together, but I left you. I fucking
left you."

"Taehyung," The younger pulled back, and now they were facing one another, gazes fixed on
each other's pained expressions and puffy, red-rimmed eyes.

"I didn't mean to hurt you," Jeongguk reached up, his fingers grazing his cheek barely.
Taehyung gulped, not wanting to stare at him any longer, for his head was fucking spinning
for I cheated repeated in his mind.
God, he couldn't do this. He just couldn't.

"You mean a lot to me," Jeongguk said quietly, gaze flitting between his mouth to his eyes.

There was hesitance in his softened gaze as the cusp of his palm ghosted over the side of
Taehyung's cheek. He seemed conflicted, whether he should be touching him or not, and
eventually, he pulled his hand away, unaware of how Taehyung's stomach dropped.

"I should have tried harder for you. For us," He inhaled slowly, his hand instead cupping the
side of Taehyung's neck. "I didn't want you to feel like you were a second option."

"Because you aren't. You were never an option to me Tae," Jeongguk stressed, the skin
between his brows drawing together.

"You're the answer."

"Jeongguk," Taehyung breathed, shaking his head slowly, hating every second his heart broke
at the way Jeongguk's expression fell. "Don't say that."

"Why not?" Jeongguk asked, "I care about you. I care about you more than fucking
volleyball, Tae. Do you care about me?"

"Yeah," He nodded numbly, "I do. But Jeongguk, you can't choose me."

"Why not?" The younger pressed, his lips curving into a frown that Taehyung badly wanted
to erase with his thumb. "Why can't I choose you?"

"Because it's your future on the line," Taehyung murmured, unable to hear his own voice over
the pounding of his heart. Jeongguk scoffed lightly.

"I want you in my future," Jeongguk said, firmly, arm around his waist squeezing him. "I
want us to have some future Tae. I can't— I can't lose you."

"But we hurt each other," He said ever so softly. The younger let out a noise out of
frustration. He leaned forward, forehead pressing against his own, their noses brushing
against one another's.

"And I won't hurt you anymore," Jeongguk's hands slid down to his forearms, his fingers now
gripping the back of his elbows. "I won't lose you."

"You're not losing me," Taehyung told him, unable to peel his open unless he wanted to cry.
"But Gguk, I can't. I hurt you." I cheated on you.

"I don't care anymore," His voice trembled with this sort of desperation that didn't quite suit
him. "I don't care if you hurt me anymore. I need you."

"You're hurting me saying that." The younger pulled back, confusion sprawled over his
features as he faintly mouthed what.
"Jeongguk, I'm hurting you," Taehyung said softly, bringing his shaking hands to Jeongguk's
face, pouring every ounce of confidence he could to hold his jaw in his palms once more.

"So?" Jeongguk whispered, words cracking. "I told you I don't care."

"Hurt me all you want if it means you will stay."

"Do you even hear yourself?" Taehyung sniffled, "Do you hear what you're saying? Is this
really what you want us to do? Hurt each other over and over again?"

"Do you not see how bad we are at this?"

"We can get better," Jeongguk said curtly. Taehyung shook his head, running his thumb over
his cheek while the tip of his tongue wettened his bottom lip.

"But what happens if we don't? What if all we do is hurt each other?" Taehyung asked, voice
brittle. "We can say we won't do something ever again as much as we want, but in the end,
we'll do it again without realizing it."

"What are we gonna do if we argue again? What are we going to do if we don't have time for
eachother?"

"We'll make it work."

At that, Taehyung let go of Jeongguk and pushed him away from him, willing himself not to
cry as he watched Jeongguk's expression break before him, the sound of his heart shattering
cutting through the silence.

"Where are you going?" Jeongguk asked, choking over his words as Taehyung turned back to
the door. He followed after him, calling out his name, but the older refused to turn around as
tears prickled at his eyes.

"Taehyung, please—,"

"I have some work to do," Taehyung said, throat tight as his fingers curved around the
doorknob. Before he could open the door, Jeongguk's fingers slipped beneath his chin, tilting
his head to face his.

"What?" He asked, breathing heavily.

"I love you," Jeongguk blurted out.

Taehyung shook his eyes, studying the desperation in his eyes, and as much as it hurt, he
knew he just said to get him to stay.

"I'll see you at first period if you show up," He tried, but Jeongguk wasn't backing down just
yet.

"I love you," He repeated, this time his teeth were gritted, jaw clenched tight. Taehyung
blinked at him. He was saying it, but he didn't mean it. When he said them, they were merely
words without a meaning.

Was that how they were now? Together without a meaning? Or well, there was meaning, but
now he seemed to have lost it. They lost it the second they started to hurt one another.

"Taehyung, please," Jeongguk begged, "Stay."

"You're hurting me."

He ignored the way his heart broke apart when Jeongguk instantly released his grip from his
chin like he touched something hot, fear flashing in his eyes. It was a lie; he wasn't hurting
him physically, but inside, he was destroyed.

He merely glanced at the younger once more, who was staring off at the wall. The hood
covered half his face, but he could see he was crying by the way his chest rose and fell
unevenly, and how his fists curled and unraveled by his trembling sides.

Another time, he probably would have ran back to him and hugged him tight. Perhaps even
kissed him, told him how much he loved him, and run his fingers through his hair while
Jeongguk sobbed into his shoulder.

But this wasn't another time. And so, Taehyung left.

♡♡♡

"Wanna go somewhere after practice, Jeonggukie-Chan?" Yuta mused, arm draping over the
younger's shoulders, but in that moment, Jeongguk really wasn't in the mood.

"No," He said curtly, pushing his arm off of him. "I'm staying." Yuta snorted.

"You've been turning me down all week," Yuta said, opening the door to the lockerroom for
him. "It's March. It's spring. The cherry blossoms are blooming. It's finally nice out!"

"I said no," Jeongguk retorted, barely muttering a thanks as he brushed by him. "I need to
practice more." He repeated, tone firm.

Or rather, he couldn't go back to his dorm and face Taehyung, because if he did he would hurt
him even more for being such a pathetic loser. But that was quite the mouthful, and Yuta
didn't need to know shit about things between Taehyung and him.

Plus, he didn't want to talk about it. There was nothing to say.
"What happened to you? You always said yes to me," The older said, faking a pout as he
jogged up to catch up with his strides.

"You're all silent and mopey now~ Smile more, Jeonggukie-Chan. It makes you cuter!"

"Is there something wrong with just wanting to practice?" There was nobody in the lockers
yet. Made sense since they got here especially early to warm-up together.

Their coach insisted they did so to work on their chemistry, which Yuta eagerly jumped at the
chance once it was offered. Jeongguk, on the otherhand, only agreed because it was for the
team. If they didn't work together, what even was the fucking point of volleyball?

"You've been practicing nine hours a day. No breaks in between. That's torturing yourself,"
Yuta pointed out. "You're gonna reach your limit."

"I don't have a limit," It was a lie, but Jeongguk said it anyways, wanting nothing more but
for this conversation to end. He just wanted to get out on the court already and hit something.
Feel something that wasn't pain.

Feel something that didn't involve thoughts about Taehyung.

"Liar," Yuta teased, trying to hook their arms, though the younger simply wasn't into it.
"Hang out with me after."

"I have a boyfriend," Jeongguk said curtly, turning the corner without batting a lash at him.
At that, Yuta snorted loudly, unaware of the way Jeongguk's chest tightened at the sound.

"Jeongguk, I didn't mean—," Jeongguk rolled his eyes.

"We both know what you mean," He muttered, jaw clenching slightly. "I said no. I have a
boyfriend."

A long time ago, his heart fluttered at the idea of calling Taehyung his. But now, saying it felt
like he was ripping chunks of his heart out.

"Then where is he?" Yuta asked bitterly. "Where is your boyfriend?"

"Somewhere," He tried to pick up his pace and lose him, break the distance, but Yuta was
insistent. Always insistent.

"I haven't seen you two together at all since I came here. If I didn't know, it would seem like
you never had one in the first place."

"What are you trying to say?" Jeongguk's lips tugged downwards. He glanced over at him,
brows knitted as Yuta flashed him a shrug.

"I'm just saying, I meant what I meant in that hallway," His brows furrowed deeper feeling
the older's fingers wrap around his wrist, tugging him to a stop.
He spun around, ready to tell him off, that they should be practicing, but Yuta was standing
close, the distance between them nonexistent.

"What are you doing?" Jeongguk asked, jaw now tightened, his teeth clamping down tight.
Yuta stepped forward, prompting him to take a step back until he was backed against one of
the many lockers.

"I told you I was going to treat you better," Yuta said lowly, grip around his wrist tight. "I
mean it."

"I have a boyfriend," He repeated. At that, Yuta scoffed, rolling his eyes at him.

"Do you? Boyfriends don't ignore each other for long periods of time. He's not a boyfriend,
Jeongguk. He's just somebody holding you back," Yuta snipped.

"Some person keeping you from loving somebody else."

Jeongguk opened his mouth to say something back, but before he could, Yuta got him
cornered against the lockers. He grimaced, the back of his head hitting the metall, but he kept
his shoulder squared and expression hard, unreadable.

"Yuta, can we just practice?" Jeongguk asked, voice slipping into a whisper as he stared up at
the setter. "I'm not in the mood for this."

"Y'know, you have a habit of running from things. If volleyball doesn't work out, maybe
track can take you," Yuta joked, even smiled, but the younger remained stilled beneath his
body.

"Why do I even matter to you? And don't just say it's because we play volleyball," Jeongguk
murmured, watching humor flicker through the older's eyes.

"Well that's part of it," The corner of his lip tugged upward into a smirk. Jeongguk rolled his
eyes when the older propped his hand against the locker, caging him in.

"I just really like you. I think you're cute 'n you're all passionate about volleyball," Yuta
shrugged. "I also like hanging out with you. I've never had something like this with anyone
else."

"There's nothing between us," Jeongguk whispered, crossing his arms. Yuta snorted, leaning
forward so that their faces were parallel, only a short distance from one another's.

"There's more than you and that boyfriend of yours," The older snorted, his other hand
reaching up and brushing aside Jeongguk's hair behind his ear. The younger inhaled sharply,
watching him carefully as his finger grazed his cheek.

"Tell me, Jeongguk, does he make you happy?"

The question caught him off guard, and when he thought he had everything together,
Jeongguk nearly lost it. He swallowed thickly, tilting his down to force the tears and hide his
trembling lips as Yuta's words rung in his ears.
They were happy, he thought. He could remember it freshly, their happiness, as though it just
happened yesterday, and not all those months ago.

He could remember Taehyung's rectangular smile, his deep, honey laughter that erupted at all
his dumb jokes, his arms around him, and his lips pressing all over him— on his clavicle, his
cheek, his own mouth, his forehead, and the skin between his brows.

Happiness. They were happy. Temporarily. But now, all he was doing was sulking, crying,
even, over a happiness he once had.

A happiness he missed so much that it left this void in him that not even volleyball could fill.

"Does he treat you right?" Yuta asked, his breath tickling his earlobe. "Does he make time for
you? Understand you? Fuck you good?"

Yeah, he wanted to say. He was the best I ever had.

"I don't wanna talk about this," Jeongguk tried to push past him, to escape to the court before
he could suffocate, but Yuta wasn't having it. He glanced up at him, jaw clenched tight.

"What is your problem?" He snapped, hands pushing against his chest, but again, the setter
was hard to break through.

"You are my problem," Yuta murmured. "I've liked you ever since I saw you in Japan. You're
talented. Smart. Funny. Cute."

"Yuta," Jeongguk shook his head, swallowing, hard. "You're just a setter to me. We're
friends."

"If you wanna say that, then sure. I'd love to be friends considering your history," Yuta
chuckled, his hand hovering over his jaw, thumb brushing against his cheek bone.

"I heard about Taehyung and you. I didn't quite pin you as this friends with benefits type of
guy, but I'll work with what I can get," He teased.

"That isn't your business," Jeongguk tensed, his hands trembling as he tried to push Yuta
away from him once more. Yuta simply grinned, grabbing his wrists, trapping him.

"I'm better than Taehyung, Jeongguk. Let's face it. I can do so much better." You could never
be.

"Mind your own fucking business," Jeongguk squared his shoulders, standing up straight as
he tried to pull his wrists free from his tight grip.

"Don't talk about him like that."

"Why shouldn't I? Everyone else at this school never liked him. Heard the kid got a makeover
to suck Park's cock," Yuta snorted. "He's desperate."
"And you aren't either?" Jeongguk snapped, ripping his wrists away from him. Finally, he
was able to push him off, creating distance between them.

"Leave him the fuck alone," He said, tongue poking into the side of his cheek as he glared at
the older. "You don't even know him."

"Do you even know him Jeonggukie?" Yuta raised an eyebrow at him, stepping closer this
time, their chests pressed against one another's.

"What do you mean?" Jeongguk asked, "Of course I do. He's my boyfriend." Yuta rolled his
eyes.

"Then why?" Yuta asked, cupping Jeongguk's face and tugging him close.

"Then why did I catch him with Park last night?"

"He what—?" Before Jeongguk could reply, Yuta's lips smashed into his own. He didn't kiss
him back, hands gripping his shirt tight in shock, for his words caught him off guard.

Yuta's lips moved against his feverishly, and for a second Jeongguk froze, too stunned to
think right until he realized what he was doing and shoved him off in a panic. He exhaled
unevenly, wiping his lips with the back of his wrist.

"You caught him doing what with Park?" Jeongguk snarled, breathing heavily as he scrubbed
any traces of Yuta off of him. Part of him hoped this was some joke, some pissed off lie, but
Yuta looked genuine.

"They were on the couch of his dorm. I went to go there 'cuz Park is my temporary roomie,"
Yuta said coldly, watching as Jeongguk's expression darkened with every revelation. "Both of
them were naked."

What.

"Your 'boyfriend' was fucking another bitch behind your back," Yuta whispered against his
ear. "He was fucking his ass hard, Jeongguk. Called him beautiful. Was moaning out his
name."

"Taehyung cheated on you."

Jeongguk exhaled unevenly, his fingers clenching into white fists by his sides. The edges of
his vision blurred, his mind suddenly spinning on a fucking axis. No, he was joking. He
was lying to him.

Taehyung would never cheat on him, right? He loved him, right? It was only him. It was
always going to br him. He promised. He fucking promised.

He trembled in silence, jaw clenched so tight his teeth were grinding against one another. He
inhaled sharply, trying to get a grip of himself, but he just couldn't. He couldn't as he dug his
nails into his palms, the lining of his vision tinged red.
There was no way Taehyung cheated on him.

But it made sense. He hadn' seen him around in a long time, and maybe while he was gone,
Taehyung was probably fucking Jimin behind his back. In fact, it made so much sense—
Taehyung didn't even like him in the beginning.

For so long, Taehyung wanted Jimin, and the second Jeongguk left, maybe he took that
opportunity and cheated. Fucked Jimin when Jeongguk wasn't there.

Was all of this some lie? Was Taehyung playing with him the entire time because he was
bored, or was it because he was his second option this entire time?

"Fuck you. Go back to fucking Japan and never show your face unless it's on the court,"
Jeongguk shoved past Yuta and stormed toward the main gym, fuming.

He entered the main gym, scanning the area for a particular Park. He knew Jimin liked to
practice early— they used to come together back when they were friends and everything was
alright.

Back when they didn't fuck each other's lovers.

Jimin was slamming a volleyball to the ground as he seemed to be talking to Namjoon and
Yoongi. He hadn't seen them since the beginning of school, and with all honesty, it did hurt
when they didn't even react after Jeongguk stopped hanging out with them and showing up to
parties.

But none of that mattered. Nothing else mattered except the rage squeezing his throat and
coloring his vision red as he approached Park Jimin.

Yoongi noticed him first, and as he got closer, he saw the three seemed to be arguing over
something. Jimin shoved Namjoon back, only to be met with an apology from the older, but it
was Yoongi who got their attention averted toward Jeongguk.

"Jeongguk? What—," Jimin spun around, brows furrowed as Jeongguk closed the distance
between them with his fist.

He never hit people. He had enough self control and morality to keep himself from using his
fists. But everything lately seemed to be fucking testing him, and now morals and control
were out the window.

Jeongguk's fist landed square across his jaw. He breathed through his nose, fuming with rage
as he grabbed Jimin by the jersey and yanked him toward him.

"You fucking bitch," Jeongguk shouted, reeling his hand back to punch him again, all of his
anger and frustration channeling on his bunched fist.

"Let's talk—," Jimin started, blood trickling from the edge of his lip, but Jeongguk didn't
listen— he was too pissed off to.
He punched him square in the face, teeth gritted as his force collided with Jimin's nose, the
crunch of bone ringing through the gym.

He shoved Jimin to the ground, eyes narrowed and teeth barred as he got down, ready to
punch him again, adrenaline and anger electrifying every nerve in his body.

"I fucking trusted you!" He screamed, ready to hit him again and again until he was nothing
but bruised and bloody but Namjoon and Yoongi grabbed him by the shoulders, holding him
back.

"I fucking love him and you knew that!" Jeongguk thrashed, gritting his teeth tight as he
flailed between Yoongi and Namjoon's grip.

"Settle down, Jeongguk," Namjoon said, pinning his arms behind his back. Jeongguk scoffed,
shaking his head as he made another attempt to charge Jimin.

"He was my fucking everything and you went ahead and fucked him. You let him fuck you!"
He growled, struggling to free himself. Jimin propped himself onto his elbows, clutching his
swollen nose as blood gushed out of his injuries.

From the front of the gym, Yugyeom and San had walked in laughing to something, but the
second they saw what was going on. They ran to the scene. San crouched down to Jimin,
handing him the towel over his shoulder to staunch the blood.

"Jesus christ, Jeongguk!" Yugyeom ran his fingers through his hair, glancing in shock at the
scene.

There was bright red blood splattered all over the floor. Jimin's shirt was drenched with it, the
lower half of his face, and so was the volleyball.

Jeongguk's face was as red as the blood staining the gym floor, veins bulging from his neck
and muscles twitching on his clenched jaw. He cussed like a loose canon, throwing swears
and insults at Jimin while Namjoon and Yoongi tried to restrain his flailing.

"Tell us what's going on!" San screamed over the shouting, interrupting Jeongguk who was
telling Namjoon and Yoongi to let go of him.

"I said, tell us what's wrong!" Everyone went silent, including Jeongguk, who was breathing
heavily as the red from his vision faded with every blink.

"He fucked Taehyung!" Jeongguk snarled, knowing deep down he probably looked like a
blood-lusting animal with his frantic eyes, bloodied knuckles, and muscles flexing with every
rippling movement.

But none of that mattered anymore. Nothing mattered except his heart was shattered and the
boy he loved probably never loved him back.

"I did not fuck Taehyung," Jimin shouted, words slightly muffled behind the towel as San
helped him to his feet. "We didn't fuck. We kissed."
"I told you to never fucking touch him!" Jeongguk barked, barring his teeth as he lurched
forward, wanting nothing more but to destroy Jimin's face.

"And I didn't, Jeongguk. I didn't. He kissed me 'cuz he was overwhelmed," Jimin said calmly,
wincing as he wobbled to the side. "Fuck, I don't like him like that. I kicked him out after."

"It was nothing, Jeongguk," Jimin whispered, leaning against San's side. "Yes, Taehyung and
I are friends, but that kiss? It was an accident."

"Nobody meant it." Lies. Fucking lies.

"Fuck you," Jeongguk cried out, no longer fighting Namjoon and Yoongi. Instead, his
features contorted with pain. Fuck, his chest hurt. Everything hurt, and suddenly, he couldn't
breathe.

Fuck, his lungs, they were tight, and he was fucking spiraling. God what did he do? He was
falling apart, there of all places— his pieces no longer able to hold together anymore. His
heart seemed to have been torn from his chest and tossed aside to the ground before being
stomped on. Ripped apart. Shredded.

"H-he told me I was his always," He whispered brokenly, choking on every word. He
struggled to suck in a proper breath.

"He told me he l-loved me."

"Jeongguk, calm down," Yugyeom pushed Namjoon and Yoongi aside to grab the older. He
placed his hands on Jeongguk's shoulders, sliding his palms up and down as he
whispered breathe repeatedly.

"We'll take care of the gym," Namjoon said, watching as Yugyeom pulled Jeongguk aside.

"We'll take Jimin to the infirmary," San hooked his arm around Jimin's waist. "We shouldn't
let this get out to his dad. The headmaster will murder him."

"We know," Yoongi interrupted, glancing over at Jeongguk who was being led out of the
gym. "God, Jimin, what did you do?"

"I kissed his boyfriend," Jimin said monotonously. "It was a mistake, but that doesn't matter,
huh?"

"I'm sorry he punched you," San murmured. "He never hits. Jeongguk never solves his issues
with his fists."

"Looks like I'm the first," Jimin said sarcastically.

"C'mon," San said, glancing worriedly over at the gym entrance where Yugyeom led
Jeongguk. "Let's get you taken care of. At least one person will be okay." He added quietly as
he helped Jimin walk.
 ♡♡♡

"He knows?" Taehyung's voice broke as he stood in the kitchen, phone cradled to his ear.

"Yeah," Jimin croaked into the speaker, voice slightly slurred. "Bet that bastard Yuta warped
the story. I got the beating of a life time:"

"Shit, Jimin, I'm sorry," Taehyung murmured, leaning against the counter as he stared at the
sink. "Are you in the infirmary?"

"Don't worry about me. Worry about Jeongguk. You two need to sort your shit out right now,"
Jimin said tiredly. "Do it. Explain everything. Jeongguk's not in the state to take bullshit."

"I wasn't going to bullshit him," Taehyung whispered, twirling the edge of his shirt with his
free hand. He heard Jimin scoff.

"Just fucking tell him the truth Taehyung," Jimin snapped. "No use in hiding shit anymore."

"We weren't going to hide anything," Taehyung said, brows furrowed as he stood up,
glancing over at the door as if Jeongguk would walk in any second.

"You not telling Jeongguk right away is hiding shit," Jimin argued. Taehyung gulped,
knowing he wasn't wrong.

"Let it all out and figure out whether you're done or gonna make shit work."

"What happens if we do break up?" The younger asked softly, voice slightly cracking, panic
beginning to rise in his chest.

"Then break the fuck up then and stop making it complicated than it already is," Jimin
snapped. "This was bound to happen, Tae. I don't know about you, but even though I
deserved that punch, you're also at fault for lying to his face about it."

"I'm sorry, Jimin," Taehyung eventually whispered when the other line went silent. He heard
some shuffling around and a few other voices before Jimin finally spoke up.

"It's alright, but just please, talk this out," He sighed, and with that, he ended the call.

The second he set his phone down on the counter, his breath immediately hitched when the
door to the dorm swung open. Taehyung swallowed, stunned as his gaze met the younger's.

There, clutching his bloody fist to his chest, was Jeongguk.

Neither one of them spoke. Jeongguk tore his gaze the other direction, staring down at the
floor instead as he kicked the door shut behind him. Taehyung wasn't so sure what he should,
or what he should say.

Fuck, what did Jeongguk even hear? It wasn't in his nature to hit people. Jeongguk was above
that, and no matter how much he wanted to punch somebody, he told Taehyung he couldn't
live with himself if he punched somebody.

Whatever he heard must have changed things.

"Jeongguk," he started, biting down on his tongue when the younger past by him and toward
the fridge for an ice pack. "Jeongguk, please."

"Jeongguk," He repeated softly, clutching the edge of the counter while Jeongguk hissed
quietly when the cool pack came in contact onto his knuckles.

For a split second, he was able to see the damage done. Jeongguk's fingers were curled
inward, the skin around his knuckles were cracked red and raw. Dried blood stained his hand,
some even splattered across his chest.

Taehyung winced, wondering how many times he must have hit Jimin to end up like that. His
adam's apple bobbed nervously, head slightly spinning as he stepped forward, quietly
reaching out to help, to ease this silence somehow, but Jeongguk swatted his hand away.

"Jeongguk," His name died on his tongue as the younger turned away from him, his own
poking inside his cheek in annoyance. "Please."

"Don't," Jeongguk murmured raspily, gravelly voice wavering.

"I can explain," Taehyung tried, hopelessly reaching out, but the second his fingers brushed
against the younger's biceps, he ripped away from him as if his touch burned.

"You don't need to," He scoffed, shaking his head at him, unable to meet his gaze. Taehyung
struggled to swallow the guilt on his tongue, for it felt like shoving a rock down his throat.

"I didn't mean to," Taehyung pressed, not giving up even though his body trembled and his
voice was on the edge of cracking. "I didn't mean to cheat."

The second the words left his mouth, Jeongguk froze, shoulders tensing.

"Jeongguk—," He tried once more, but he was quickly cut off by the younger scoffing at him.

"You cheated on me," Jeongguk spat out, face contorted with anger, pain flashing in his dark
irises. "You fucking kissed another guy, and you expect me to listen?"

"N-No I just," His shoulders fell, the confidence draining with every second Jeongguk stared
at him, his eyes drowning him in regret.

"Did you ever love me Taehyung?" Jeongguk snarled, gesturing at him angrily. "Did you ever
love me, or was I a joke?" The older's eyes widened as he opened his mouth to speak—
"Or was I a rebound? Was I your fucking rebound?"

Taehyung pressed his lips into a thin, his answer on his tongue fading as he averted his heavy
gaze to the floor, unable to put together a single word without his chest squeezing and his
throat swelling shut. His fingers crumpled into fists at his sides, nails digging into his palms.

"Was I your fucking rebound, Taehyung? It's a simple yes or no," Jeongguk snapped. He
pinched his eyes shut, trying to control his breathing. The younger never talked like this to
him— ever.

But now, he realized he deserved it— the agitated growls, snarky remarks, and glares. He
fucking deserved his rage. He was the one who deserved to get punched in the face, not
Jimin. He was the one who cheated, who was lying.

This was all his fucking fault.

"Are you going to answer—,"

"Yes," Taehyung breathed unevenly, squeezing his eyes instead of returning Jeongguk's
incredulous stare, fearing to see his heart shatter in front of him when he could hear it slam to
the floor, bursting into a thousand pieces.

"You were a rebound at first."

He said truthfully, realizing this was the lie he kept all along. When he did get the guts to see
Jeongguk's reaction, he was staring right at his back.

"But," Taehyung inhaled slowly, voice shaking in its whisper, words struggling to string
together. "It all changed. I do love you, Jeongguk. I really do. I realized it was you."

"How do you expect me to believe you?" Jeongguk whispered, the way his tone was heavy,
shattered beyond repair tugged at Taehyung's chest.

"How do you expect to me to believe that?"

"Jeongguk, please," Taehyung murmured, clutching the side of the counter. "I'm saying the
truth. I fell in love with you. It's just you."

He tried to reach for him, to hold him close, to keep him close before he could lose him, but
the younger stepped away, unable to look at him. Fuck, his chest rose and fell faster, tears
prickling at the back of his eyes like thorns digging into his retinas.

"Tell me the truth about Jimin," Jeongguk breathed, his shoulders rising and falling quicker
than usual.

"Tell me, were you seeing him?" His voice cracked.

"Yes," Taehyung's chest tightened unbearably, his fingers digging into the counter to steady
himself. "But we were hanging out as friends. Nothing happened."
"Then why did you not tell me?" Jeongguk asked, betrayal evident in his tone. Pain. Hurt. All
because of Taehyung, who wanted to suffocate, to be the one breaking instead of him.

"I don't know. I should have," He whispered, eyes tearing up. He sucked in a shallow breath,
unable to hold himself together, his own pieces crumbling into dust.

"I'm so sorry."

"Fuck you," Jeongguk murmured, whipping around, and there in his eyes was this new
emotion dancing with the pain, the pure devastation in his irises.

The one emotion he swore he couldn't live with knowing he created. Hatred. Taehyung
wanted to look away, to run, but he stayed put, meeting his piercing gaze even though it
ripped him apart to see Jeongguk this way. To see that he hurt him.

"You were my person, my best friend," Jeongguk whispered, shaking his head as bitter
laughter fell from his lips, hollow and broken. Ruined.

"You were my fucking everything, and in your eyes, I was nothing but a rebound, huh?"

"Jeongguk, I'm sorry," Taehyung cried out, vowels brittle. Jeongguk shook his head, eyes
pressing shut as he inhaled slowly through his nose, chest shaking, shoulders stiffened.

"I thought you were my always," Jeongguk stared at the floor, voice muffled over the rush of
Taehyung's heartbeat slamming against his ears and the sniffles that suffocate him with each
sharp hiccup.

"But it looks like you're temporary, just like the rest."

"I'm so fucking sorry," Taehyung choked out, tears blurring his vision as he watched
Jeongguk stare at him differently, like he was some stranger, some person he no longer knew.

"I wasn't lying when I said I love you, Jeongguk," He whispered, "because I do. I do now. I
loved you ever since I met your family. You are my home. You're my everything. You're still
my always."

"You were my home," Jeongguk continued like he said nothing, expression unreadable yet his
eyes glistened, rimmed red. "But I don't think I can trust you."

"I don't think I can come back to you anymore."

"What?" Taehyung whispered, stepping closer to him. "Jeongguk, n-no. W-We can work this
out. We can f-fix this." He said, scrambling for something to hold, for a reason to get him to
stay.

"You were right this morning," Jeongguk murmured, words emotionless as he shook his head.

"We're far beyond repair."

"Jeongguk," The older cried out, grabbing his wrist, fingers digging into him to hold him,
desperate to keep him by his side, desperate to make sure he didn't lose him even if this was
the final string.

"I love you," Sobs wrecked through his chest as he squeezed his wrist, holding on to him with
every fiber of his being. He couldn't lose him like this. He couldn't let go of him.

"I thought I did," Jeongguk blinked, a single tear slipping down the curve of his cheek. "I
thought I loved you but now? I-I don't know anymore."

"I don't know who you are anymore."

"Jeongguk," Taehyung shook his wrist, biting down on his lip as Jeongguk tugged his arm
away. "I'm so fucking sorry. I'm so so sorry."

He closed the distance between them, his hands grabbing the sides of Jeongguk's face and
pulling him close, pressing their foreheads together. He cried, sobs wrecking through his
body with every tremor, every pained noise destroying him until he was nothing.

"I'm so sorry," Taehyung whispered, tilting his head up, nose brushing against the younger's.
"I'm so fucking sorry. I love you. I fucking love you." He said, every inch of him shaking.

He kissed him, or at least tried to, but Jeongguk tugged his head aside, prompting the older to
brush his lips against the side of his cheek. Gently, the younger broke away from him,
shaking his grip off of him.

Taehyung stepped back, shoulders slumped in defeat and heart nothing but a pile of rubble in
the void of his chest as he watched Jeongguk uncover his wrist from beneath the ice pack. He
sniffled, sucking in a breath seeing his bracelet

The bracelet he made for him so long ago.

His gaze met his, searching for the stars he used to find in them, but instead, he was met with
nothing but darkness. A black, empty void of nothing. There were no more stars, no more
galaxies. No more sparkles.

And even though for a split second, Jeongguk's stare softened, it hardened once more, and it
was then did Taehyung realize he destroyed the universe in his eyes.

He destroyed every star, every planet, just like that.

Jeongguk said nothing, wincing slighty as he pulled the bracelet off his wrist and over his
fragile fingers. Taehyung swore he couldn't breathe, his entire world fucking spinning.

The younger tugged the bracelet off, tossing it onto the counter beside them and said those
five words Taehyung never imagined him to ever say.

"I'm breaking up with you."

"J-Jeongguk, you promised—," Taehyung started, but Jeongguk said nothing, face stilled
except for the silent tears dripping down his face as he pushed the bracelet toward him.

"We all break promises don't we? Nobody said they were permanent," Jeongguk whispered
coldly, his attitude changing in a split second, enough to give the older whiplash.

"This is what you wanted at the beginning huh?" The younger asked, shoving the bracelet at
him, watching Taehyung flinch as it clattered to the floor.

"You wanted Jimin, not me. So go. Go fuck Jimin. Go date Jimin. Go tell him you love him,"
Jeongguk seethed despite being oddly calmed. "Go to him. I'm giving you to him just like I
planned."

"Jeongguk, please, d-don't," Taehyung breathed out raggedly, unable to see in front of him
through the tears gushing from his eyes.

"Move out by the end of the week," Jeongguk said curtly, scorn dancing in his narrowed eyes.
"I want you out of here. I don't want to see you ever again."

"This was what was supposed to happen! You happy now? Well you better be."

"Jeongguk," Taehyung sobbed, lips trembling, falling into a frown. "I'm sorry."

"Just go, Taehyung," Jeongguk shook his head, hatred sprawling across his features as he
eyed him once more, brows furrowed and lips pursed into a scowl.

"We're over. You go to Jimin, and I'll go back to volleyball. This was what we wanted in the
first place."

The older said nothing, realizing that Jeongguk meant it. This was it. They were over. They
were broken up, and their hearts were shattered to pieces far from recovery.

With that, he nodded dumbly, swiping at the tears in his eyes and spun around. This was the
right thing to do, he told himself as he dragged his legs to the door, sobbing silently to
himself as his heart seemed to be crushed into fine dust with each step.

He lingered at the door, fingers curled around the door knob. It took every fiber of his being
not to turn around, to look at the pain he caused in Jeongguk's features, to turn and run back
and beg the younger for forgiveness.

Taehyung knew this was the right choice, but this— this wasn't how he imagined they would
end.

Eventually, he caved in, allowing him to sneak one last look at Jeongguk even though it
killed him to stay there.

The second he glanced over his shoulder, Jeongguk was already gone.
 moving on & remembering it all

♡♡♡

"What the fuck happened Taehyung?" Jin burst past the door where Jimin stood, bolting right
to his friend who was on his couch, crying silently to himself beneath the blanket Jimin
wrapped him in.

"Thanks for taking him in," Hoseok glanced over at Jimin, the two staring at one another for
a moment until the older cleared his throat. "I heard Jeongguk kicked him out."

"It's nothing," Jimin shut the door, looking at anywhere but Hoseok, "Go support your friend.
He needs the both of you." He said before walking off to his room, ice pack on his face.

Taehyung sniffled, feeling Seokjin's arms wrap around him and bring him close. He rested his
head on the older's shoulder, teeth digging down on his bottom lip to keep it from trembling,
but the second Jin started to stroke his hair, he broke apart.

Fuck, it still hurt, even though it had been a week since their breakup, Taehyung felt like
something was ripped out of his chest and left him to bleed out. He'd never been this
consumed by pain, and yet, all of it was his fault.

"Fuck that Jeongguk guy," Jin murmured, brushing Taehyung's hair out of his eyes while the
younger cried in his embrace. Hoseok, on the otherhand, sat on the other side of him.

"Nobody can break your fucking heart. God, I thought I could trust him but he's just like the
rest of his asshole friends," Jin snapped, rubbing his hand up and down Taehyung's
shuddering back.

"I knew we shouldn't have let you get involved with their bunch," Seokjin whispered lowly,
"Look what happened with Hoseok. That Min Yoongi was a fucking asshat. I don't care what
Hobi tells you."

"Hyung, don't," Hoseok sighed, "We're past that. Right now we're focusing on Taehyung." He
reached over, hand resting on his shoulder.

"We can go beat him up right now. I got time," He suggested, though there was no humor
present in his voice. "That little shit hurt you, Tae."

"I-It wasn't his fault," Taehyung managed out in between sobs that left his throat raw. He
curled into a ball by Jin's side.

"D-Don't hurt him."

"But he hurt you," Seokjin scoffed, hugging him tighter. "What do you want us to do? Cut his
dick off? Snap his arms?"

"I-I mean it," Taehyung sniffled, wiping at his nose witth the sleeve of his hoodie. Well, it
was actually Jeongguk's hoodie, and he put it on without thinking much, for he missed him
terribly to point that even his smell was a little bit of comfort.

He shouldn't have let it become this way. He knew wearing his hoodie after breaking up with
him was probably really pathetic, but he missed him. God, he missed him, the longer he spent
away from him ripped him to shreds.

Taehyung would have traded anything to be in his arms again, to hug him close, and bury his
face in the real thing. He wanted it to be Jeongguk that was holding him, telling him
everything would be okay because they had eachother, and kissing away his tears.

Never did he imagine he would be crying over him and losing him all at the same time.

But this was what he deserved for fucking it all up. He didn't deserve Jeon Jeongguk after
lying to him, failing to listen to him, and not making things work when they promised they
would.

This was what happened when you didn't try hard enough. Taehyung knew that now.

"I hurt Jeongguk," Taehyung whispered brokenly, the words catching in his throat. "I broke
his trust."

"What do you mean?" Hoseok asked. Taehyung exhaled unevenly, pushing off of Seokjim to
sit up, feeling both of their concerned stares fixing on him.

"We fought over volleyball," Taehyung explained weakly, eyes blurred with his own tears as
he hung his head, staring at his lap. "He had to go to Japan a lot, so we wouldn't be able to
see one another. Then I guess he had to make a choice between us."

"And I thought he chose volleyball, and I thought I was okay with it," His voice wavered.
"But i-it got so hard to be together, and w-we never sat down and talked. I-I regret n-not
listening, n-not talking."

"I m-miss Jeongguk," He cried out, hands covering his face while his shoulders trembled,
hot, burning tears falling into his palms. "I-I hurt him."

"And you two got to the point where breaking up felt like it was the only choice left," Seokjin
said softly, running his hand up and down Taehyung's back soothingly while he sobbed
against him.

"Oh Tae," Hoseok shook his head, reaching over and wrapping his arm around his waist
before hooking his chin over his shoulder. "It's okay. You'll both come out of this alright."

"If so, then w-why does it still hurt?" Taehyung sobbed, the tremor wrecking through his
body, crushing his heart over and over again.
God, he was helpless, weak. There was nothing he could do but cry, for every time he tried to
speak, he would remember Jeongguk's face and break apart all over again.

Every word was a struggle, choking him up and making that prickle behind his eyes burn,
because everything reminded him about Jeongguk.

Even though when Jeongguk was busy all those weeks, nothing could compare to the
emptiness he felt now that Jeongguk was truly gone.

Any funny joke he heard or saw made him think of how Jeongguk would react, how he
would smile that bunny-tooth grin of his. Taehyung couldn't even sleep without hugging
anything, 'cause if he did, the coldness beside him would remind him that there was no
Jeongguk to hold onto.

He hadn't drank or eaten much. For a week, he spent on Jimin's couch, only getting up to do
assignments or go to class, just to come back and stare at the wall for a few hours either
extremely pissed off, or feeling broken beyond repair.

This was the first time he really talked to people. Not even Jimin approached him, but he
understood. The two of them knew Taehyung wasn't in the right state to talk about it,
especially to him.

But now, after crying for days on end all on his own, and the void in his chest had came to a
stop from eating him from the inside out, maybe it was time.

Maybe it was time to let it all out.

"Messy breakups happen," Seokjin murmured, "and all you can do is work on moving on.
You'll look back at this and laugh, Tae. You will get better on your own, and you'll find
another love when you've grown some more."

"But H-hyung he was the one though," He whispered, wrecked. "N-nothing, n-nobody could
beat J-Jeongguk."

"And I just lost him," He stared down at his shaking palms, struggling to breathe properly
through the sobs that filtered in and out of him.

"I-I lost him, and I'll never g-get him back."

"Don't say that Tae," Jin mumbled, "You guys had something special, I'll admit that. I don't
think this will end your entire relationship."

"Before this you two were best friends," Hoseok pulled back, hand squeezing his side.
"Maybe now, it feels like it's over, but who knows. Maybe you two just need some time apart
to figure yourselves out on your own before committing to something greater."

"He was quite the better friend to you than Jin and I recently." He said, something like
sadness flashing in his eyes though Taehyung knew it wasn't for him.
"Y-you guys were busy," Taehyung's brows drew together. "I-I knew you guys needed to
work. Y-you don't have to apologize at all."

"Yeah, but we should have been there," Seokjin cut in. "We should have supported you and
stepped in seeing you guys fight. I... should have helped."

"We knew this was your first relationship," Hoseok mumbled, "and we should have given
you help 'cuz it gets overwhelming sometimes. We're sorry, Tae, for not being around."

"It's okay," He frowned, grabbing both of their hands into his own. "This wasn't your fault.
All of it was mine. In the end, I hurt him, not you guys."

"I-I didn't put any effort," Taehyung murmured, swallowing thickly. I regret that now.

"But at least you learned your lesson, right?" Hoseok asked, to which Taehyung nodded
slowly at. "Then that's all that matters, Tae. That you learned what you did wrong, and now
you can think of what you can do better."

"B-But Jeongguk," He inhaled unevenly, something sharp poking into his heart. He squeezed
his friend's hands, struggling to breathe properly, "w-won't ever look at me after this."

"H-he told me he didn't want to see me ever again."

"You two just need some time Tae," Seokjin ran his thumb over his fingers, tone softening.
"It could be days. Weeks. Months. Years before Jeongguk can forgive you, before you can
forgive him."

"Because this," Jin gestured at their situation, "Isn't just your fault. Jimin caught us up with it
over phone while we were on our way, and honestly, both of you aren't in the place right now
to fix things if you can't even fix your own shit."

"Jeongguk may love volleyball, but he needs to learn to put time into the people he loves,"
Hoseok brushed Taehyung's hair behind his ear.

"And you need to start listening more and not letting your head get to you because Tae, that
boy loves you and you love him. But you need to love yourself first before loving him back."

"Loved," Taehyung shook his head, biting down hard on his bottom lip, pinching the skin
between his teeth. "He loved me." I don't love me.

"Tae, you need to stop beating yourself eventually," Seokjin shook his hand, brows knitting
together. "It may seem like everything sucks right now, but you hear us? It will get better."

Taehyung shook his head, pulling his hands away from his friends. Instead, he moved his legs
up, pressing them close to his chest and winding his arms around them, hugging his legs
closes as he buried his face between his knees.

Talking should have made him feel lighter, at least. It should have patched some of the holes
in his heart, but at this point, he wasn't so sure if they could be fixed.
Yeah, he was probably acting dramatic, but nothing could possibly hurt as worse as this.
Nothing could tear a person apart the same way losing a friend and a lover could.

Nothing could ruin him more than not being able to see Jeongguk every day, happy even if it
was without him.

"When I dated Yoongi, I felt like this too," Hoseok cleared his throat a few moments after a
thick veil of silence enveloped the room. Taehyung froze, slightly lifting his head up to meet
the older's gaze.

"I felt like my world stopped."

The smile on Hoseok's lips didn't quite match the pain lingering in his eyes. The older nodded
once, and that was when he knew what he was going to say. Taehyung wiped at his eyes with
the bottom of his palm, trying to listen, to get a grip of himself.

"Everybody says we ended things on mutual terms. That's what we let out to other people that
our break up was clean and fast," Hoseok continued, leaning back into the couch, gaze
averted to the ceiling.

"That wasn't true," He licked his lips. "It was messy. Just as messy and painful as this. We
fought over different things, but we did hurt one another. He hurt me, and eventually I started
to hurt him back because I was pissed."

"So we broke up. I broke up with Yoongi because I couldn't deal with his constant push and
pull. One day he loved me, and the next he didn't. He was always away either physically or
mentally," Hoseok said ever so softly that it was almost a whisper.

"And when I ended it, I was broken. I thought Yoongi was the greatest love of my life,"
Hoseok
murmured, tensing beside the youngest.

"He was mine, but I wasn't his."

"Hyung," Taehyung placed his hand over the older's hand on his thigh, lips pursed into a
frown. The older simply shook his head and sighed.

"What I'm trying to say is look at me, I'm okay. You will come out of this as a better person.
Sometimes if you're not growing together, you have to cut yourself off to grow on your own,"
Hoseok laced his fingers with his.

"You need to figure out yourself, and so does Jeongguk before you two can consider trying
again."

"Trying again?" Taehyung's brows furrowed. Hoseok nodded, squeezing his hand as the
edges of his mouth creased upward into a gentle smile.

"While I wasn't Yoongi's love, you're Jeongguk's," He whispered, grip tight on his own.
"Before this, you guys were best friends." He said firmly.
"Even though being a couple didn't work out, your friendship is too special to throw away."

"We're not saying go back and apologize right now," Seokjin piped in, noticing how
Taehyung's face fell. "It's obvious both of you need time apart. Things will get better
eventually, and when you're both ready, then you can figure out your next move."

"It isn't the end of the world, Tae," He threw his arm around him, pulling him close to his
chest, hand ruffling his hair. Taehyung chuckled softly, unable to keep the small smile from
unfolding over his lips.

God, he was so thankful for them. After all these years, Hoseok and Seokjin were the only
ones who stayed by his side even when he was difficult to deal with and the insecurities ate
him up.

They were his safety net; if he fell, they were there to put him back up on his feet with
a push. Without them, he wouldn't be sure if he would be here, for they were the only people
that kept him going, that kept him afloat when the bullying drowned him.

These two were his best friends. While he thought he had nothing left, they always reminded
him that he did. He had them.

And maybe that was all he needed right now.

"Both of you will move on and grow up," Hoseok murmured, running his thumb over his
knuckles as the crying subsided to tiny sniffles and the three of them were satisifed with
cuddling on the couch.

"And from there, you'll decide what to do next. You don't have to jump into things right
away," Jin said.

"But please don't let this stop you right now. You shouldn't even be crying over boys," He
gently nudged Taehyung's side, smirking.

"Trust me, it's not worth it Tae," Hoseok let out a laugh, eyes crinkling.

"At least you're not crying over skinny pale boys with chopsticks for legs."

"Shut up," Taehyung giggled, playfully swatting his hyungs. He sighed softly, letting them
sandwich him between their bodies into another bone crushing hug.

Eventually, though the pain still left his chest aching, it didn't hurt as much as it did.
Somehow, being there with his friends, in their embrace, and listening to Jin and Hoseok's
shitty jokes seemed to make things easier even though it was for a moment.

He would never truly forget this— Jeongguk was his first boyfriend, the first person he ever
truly loved. He was his everything, his always, his person, and most importantly his best
friend.

He was engraved into every part of him, and sure, while time might make those marks fade
and perhaps maybe those marks would be covered by another's, he would never forget the
way Jeongguk made him feel.

And while things used to feel hopeless, he realized that maybe it will get better. They would
get better one day. It might not be now, or tomorrow, but there would be a time where they
could talk it out and forgive one another.

But in the mean time, Jin and Hoseok were right. He made mistakes, and so did Jeongguk,
and now that he experienced the consequences, this was his time to make up for it.

One day, they would be okay again, and this pain settling heavy in his heart would disappear
into a bittersweet memory, but now, all that was left for Taehyung to do was move on.

And hopefully, Jeongguk would too.

♡♡♡

Even though the whistle blew, Jeongguk didn't have the power in him to stop.

The last week, he wasn't sure what was happening around him anymore, for time seemed to
have lost all of its fucking meaning, and most of his days consisted of the same thing in order
to avoid that pain he managed to shove to the bottom of his mind.

The hours he spent at the gym practicing volleyball until his palms were numb on top of the
hours he wasted away sitting at school blended into a blur of nothingness. His body did as he
told it, and he did it without much thought.

Jeongguk didn't want to think, because he knew if he did, if he dwelled on the pain eating
him up piece by piece, then he would spiral. He would lose focus, or rather, the last bit of
control he harbored to stay together.

There was nobody else holding him together. He was alone, and if he wasn't careful, he
would fall apart.

And once he fell apart, he wasn't sure if he knew how to put himself back together again.

So, he packed his schedule and made this routine. He would go to class, sit in the very back
and will himself to blend around those who made the back their homes, and the second class
got out, he ran to the gym to avoid seeing anybody.

When practice was over, he made some excuse to stay later, to work on techniques he thought
could use more perfecting. He promised he would go home to his friends, only to lie and stay
at the gym, for he refused to go back to an empty dorm.
Because he knew, if he went back, he would break. Shatter, even. Every single fucking
painful memory would resurface, and all of his efforts to push aside those thoughts would
invade and tear him apart.

He would remember what he didn't want to, to feel what could destroy him. He would picture
him and miss him, miss him so much he wanted nothing more but to hold him, to kiss him, to
feel his laughter on his skin, to feel his body curve into his, and the smile on his lips pressed
against his own.

So, he didn't go back; he repressed it. It was school, gym, repeat, and nothing more.

It worked, well, until Jae, Yugyeom, and San checked on him, but he couldn't bear to see the
concern in their eyes, so he forced on a smile and told him he was okay before playing again.

Volleyball. That was all he had time for. That was all he could do without feeling like
absolute shit. He could pour it all out into the court, pour as much as he wanted to until the
pain suffocated him and he swallowed it back down.

He swallowed it back down even if he choked, even if it was too painful to hide. He didn't
want to talk about it, to face it, because to him, that would be the thing that would hurt the
most.

He could take the numbing pain of volleyball on his muscles, his legs, and his arms over and
over again, but never could he take the pain of losing Taehyung.

"Jeongguk, coach ended practice," Yugyeom walked up to him, voice soft and pitiful, and
god Jeongguk wanted to tune him out before he would lose it.

He ignored him, wiping the sweat off his forehead and reaching down to grab another ball.
But before he could, Yugyeom snatched it. Jeongguk glanced up at him, not a single word
leaving his swollen throat.

"I think you should go home," Yugyeom said, his words static, ringing in his ears before
falling out without much consideration.

"Give me the ball," Jeongguk managed to force out, the words like lead on his cemented
tongue. "I want to practice."

"You've practiced enough," The younger retorted. "Go home, Jeongguk. Take a break. We've
been easy on you, but it's been a week. You're worrying us."

"Let me practice," He repeated, expression blank as he stood up, arms pressed to his sides.
Yugyeom simply shook his head.

"Go home," He said again, tone firm. "If not, come with me. Let's grab some food and talk if
you want."

"Just give me the volleyball," He whispered, voice wavering. He curled his fingers into fists,
willing himself not to tremble, not to break, to not feel the pain again.
He feared to even close his eyes, knowing if he did, he would see him. He would picture his
tanned features that imprinted into his mind, the tears on his face, and the hurt that flashed
through his eyes as Jeongggk said those words.

It looks like you're temporary, just like the rest.

I don't think I can come back to you anymore.

I don't know who you are anymore.

I'm breaking up with you.

I don't want to see you ever again.

We're over.

"Jeongguk," Yugyeom started, "please. I'm worried. Jae's worried. San has been worrying
nonstop. We need to make sure—,"

"— Just give me the fucking ball!" He shouted, teeth gritting and jaw clenching tight along
with his fingers, his nails digging into his palm. Yugyeom flinched, and after realizing what
he did, Jeongguk's shoulders fell.

"Give it," Jeongguk whispered hoarsely, staring hard at the ground as his chest squeezed,
lungs suddenly tight. "Please."

"I'll play with you," Yugyeom said after some time, the younger's gaze fixed on him. "How
does that sound?"

Jeongguk lifted his head to meet his eyes, only to nod before taking his place on the other
side of the net.

Yugyeom spun the ball on his palm, narrowed eyes focusing where Jeongguk stood, bent
down, legs slightly spread apart, feet planted firmly and hands out ready to receive. The
younger said nothing and did what he promised to do.

It was different, playing one on one. There was a lot more space, vulnerable spots, they called
them, and the people who mattered were just the two of them. There were no other players to
rely on, to blame your mistakes on.

It was just you and them, and the ball.

You had to work together to keep the rally. The point of volleyball was to not let the ball
touch the ground, for you lose the point, and maybe you could lose the match if you let the
ball fall too often, too carelessly.

If you didn't try, you would lose it all. If you tried your hardest, you could win, or still even
lose, but at least you knew you tried your hardest.
Jeongguk lost, and he knew he didn't try his hardest. He didn't play hard enough, hell, he
even blamed his faults on people who weren't even on the court. He didn't take the fall, he
didn't put the effort, and he certainly didn't fight.

He let the ball drop, constantly, carelessly. This wasn't one of those matches where he was
okay with losing, because he knew deep down that he didn't try.

He let it all fall apart without a single fucking care.

And perhaps, that was why he put it all into this stupid match. He dove for every ball,
receiving it, setting it up, and slamming it back to Yugyeom over and over until fatigue wore
his muscles down.

He didn't know why he was frustrated, or rather, he did, but he didn't want to think. He
wanted to keep going, to keep hitting, to keep moving even if his body couldn't keep up.

"Fuck," He cursed loudly, falling to receive the ball Yugyeom hit in his direction. The ball
rolled off the side, the two of them staring at it while their heavy panting filled the room.

"Jeongguk, maybe we should stop," Yugyeom ran his fingers through his hair, checking the
clock. "It's almost dark, and we've been at it for two hours."

"No," Jeongguk said, walking over to the pole and grabbing one of the spare balls he set there
prior to their game. "I'm not done."

"Well I am," Yugyeom said, "and you should be too. God knows how long you'll stay here if I
don't get you out. C'mon—,"

"No," He whispered, dribbling the ball in front of him, trying to hide the sounds of his
uneven breaths behind the slam of the ball on polished floors.

"I'm gonna stay back."

"Jeongguk, you know we're here for you," Yugyeom placed his hands on his hips, striding
toward the net to where Jeongguk stood behind. "If you're hurting, it's okay to let it out."

"I'm fine," He said curtly, unblinking, "now are you gonna play or not?"

"You can't just tell me, Gguk, that you're doing wonderfully after breaking up with the guy
you spent every day with for almost eight months."

"Well what if I am?" Jeongguk scoffed, catching the ball and squeezing it between his palms,
feeling the cool leather press into his numbed skin.

"We both know he meant a lot to you," He said, gesturing at him. "It's okay to be hurt. It's
okay to cry, Jeongguk. It's okay to be in pain right now."

"I don't want to talk about it," Jeongguk whispered, fingers digging into the sides of the ball,
his hands beginning to tremble.
"Then that's okay too," Yugyeom lifted the net, easily ducking under it before coming up
once more. "But you can't just keep holding it in, Gguk."

"You have to let it out eventually."

"There's nothing to let out," He murmured, body tensing when Yugyeom stopped in front of
him. "I'm doing f-fine." He lied, choking on his words.

"Jeongguk," Yugyeom sighed, placed his hand over his shoulder, staring down at the older.
"You guys broke up on the worst terms. It's going to hurt for a while, but you have to know
that it does get better when you acknowledge it."

"It will get better. You will move on. Maybe one day you'll be friends again. But for now, you
two need to be apart. It wasn't working," He said softly, running his hand up and down his
arm.

"You could always try again, but in this moment, you need to figure out your own things
first," Yugyeom squeezed his shoulder.

"Beating yourself up only could do so much."

"I'm fine," He repeated, inhaling sharply as he pushed Yugyeom's hand off of him. "I will be
okay. I broke up with him remember." He hung his head, staring at the ball shaking in his
hands.

"I broke up with him. I can't be sad about it."

"That's not true," Yugyeom whispered, "You can be sad. Hell, you can be as sad as you want.
Being sad is part of the process to getting better."

"Jeongguk, please just listen to me," The younger grabbed him by the shoulders, forcing him
to meet his worried gaze. "You have us now."

"We're not gonna leave you just because it's hard. We got your back."

That was what my old friends said to me, Jeongguk wanted to say out loud but the words
couldn't seem to untangle from his throat. Namjoon, Yoongi, and Jimin promised they would
be with me when times got hard, but where were they now?

"Let's just play," Jeongguk pushed his hands off of him. "One more round," He begged,
desperation in his eyes, even coating his words.

Soon, Yugyeom sighed and went back to his side with the ball. The younger stood behind the
service line, dribbling the ball once then twice, gave the older one last look, and served.

When times got hard, everybody left him. That was what Jeongguk remembered as he
received the ball. They all left him, and in the end, it was just him, his pain, and volleyball.

He always suffered on his own, yet he didn't want to, so he hid it— it was easier to forget
about the pain than face it. Sure, he knew it was wrong, that it was temporary, but what else
could he do?

It fucking hurt when the kids at school decided to be cruel, when his own sister ignored his
existence for years, when he missed his mother's first stroke and his family kept him in the
dark, when his parents separated, and when his friends left him when he needed them the
most.

Maybe he always had this hole in his heart, and when Taehyung finally left, it opened his
eyes to how empty he was, how fucking hollow he felt.

Sure, volleyball was there when he needed it. He didn't allow anyone else into his life since
he had this, the only constant he could trust.

It was the solution to fill the hole in him every single time, but now, as he played and put his
all into this game, it wasn't enough.

It wasn't enough, for the hole grew. It split him in half, and he wasn't sure if he could pull
himself together anymore.

With every step, he teared at the seams. With every set, every hit, he could hear himself
ripping apart, the strings breaking, snapping.

Jeongguk gritted his teeth, unaware of the tears prickling in his eyes and staining his cheeks
as he lunged to receive the ball. However, as much as he willed his body to move, he
couldn't. He froze in place, watching helplessly as the ball fell.

He screamed internally, cursing at himself to get it, to move. Instead, his shoulders caved in,
his arms lowering in front of him. He collapsed to his knees, chin quivering and chest
heaving out shaky breaths.

Jeongguk wasn't sure what it was but he couldn't move— why couldn't he move? Tremors
wrecked through him as he hung his head, fingers balling into fists, punching at the strained
muscles of his thighs to move.

"Fucking hell," He cried out, struggling to breathe. "Move. Why won't you fucking move?"
He sobbed, unaware of how Yugyeom scrambled to reach him.

"Move goddamnit," He screamed, voice breaking, cracking, falling apart. He slammed his
fists down on his legs, sobbing uncontrollably.

"It's okay," Yugyeom whispered ever so softly, his words lost in between Jeongguk's heaves.
He wrapped his arms around the older, pulling him to chest and ran his fingers through his
hair.

"Shh you'll be okay. Your body's tired. It's not your fault," Yugyeom mumbled against the
side of his head, other hand running up and down his back.

"It's my fault," He cried out, fists weakly punched his thighs.

His body weakened, a wave of exhaustion from the days he spent of no sleeping, eating, and
lack of rest crashing over him as he fell limp in the younger's arms, features scrunched with
every raw sob.

"I-I didn't try h-hard enough," He leaned into Yugyeom's side, trembling, throat closing, and
tears prickling hot as they fell down his cheeks.

"You tried your best," Yugyeom tightened his grip around him, muffling the older's sobs into
his shoulder. "You tried your best, Gguk."

Wrong, he wanted to say, to scream until his voice no longer worked but he couldn't over the
sobs that wrecked his body. I didn't try at all.

"You will get through this. You have all the time in the world," He whispered softly,
squeezing him tight. "Things will get better. You will get better, but now, you need to rest."

"Please," Yugyeom craddled him close, lips forming a frown watching his friend fall apart in
front of him. He pulled him impossibly closer, hugging him in the middle of the court while
he cried until there were no more tears left but broken, detached wails.

"Just take it easy Jeongguk and rest," He rested his head against his, rubbing his back up and
down while the older sobbed quietly into his shoulder.

"It'll be okay." If only it was that easy.

♡♡♡

"Feels nice to be out after so long, huh?"

Jimin stuck his hands into his jacket pockets, swinging his elbows a little as he nudged
Taehyung's side. The two of them were in the downtown area, strolling among the shops after
leaving Jin and Hoseok back at Sunshine Sips.

They were nearing the end of the year, for it was already April: they only had two more
months until graduation. In that time, Taehyung worked hard, and rarely spent time on
Jimin's couch, seeing that there was no use in moping around.

Not only was it the end of school, it had also been almost an entire month since the breakup.

After Hoseok and Jin's talk, he dedicated his hours to the student council and making sure the
school would be in order even after he graduated. He went to study groups with Jimin,
applied to colleges, and in the mean time, searched for his passion to pursue.

They pushed him, really. If it wasn't for his friends, he wouldn't have turned out this way.
Now, he supposed he truly did believe things would be okay in the end, and they were
somewhat.

Or at least, life became more tolerable and the pain that once devoured him whole subsided to
a dull ache.

It wasn't like he forgot about him— he would never. But every now and then, he crossed his
mind, and he wondered if he was doing okay on his own. Whether he be pouring cereal,
putting on socks, or even doing chemistry, Taehyung thought of him.

He got used to not having him by his side every day. Taehyung got used to only having him
as a fleeting memory, as a face he passed by in the halls during passing periods. As a person
he heard about through class gossip.

It was weird, and he honestly didn't think he would be okay after spending so much time with
him. Yes, it did hurt to realize they reverted to nothing but names on each other's tongue and
scars on one another's hearts, but at least he had memories.

Good ones that he could look back to and smile at and remember that they were happy
together, but now, they get to see how it was to be happy apart. It wasn't what he imagined,
though it was for the best.

He might not have been ready to face him just yet, but at least he was still healing. And when
the day would come to talk about it, he wanted to be ready.

"I guess so," Taehyung shrugged, glancing around them, "it's a change of scenery." He jutted
his chin at the flowers and trees around them.

"You're right. Better than inhaling fucking sharpies and numbers all day," Jimin snorted, the
yellowish purple skin around his nose slightly scrunched.

"I'd rather eat food than learn about angry European men settling their daddy issues by
starting wars."

"That's oddly specific," The younger chuckled, elbowing Jimin's side playfully as the two
rounded the street corner. Jimin scoffed.

"It's true! My dad never gave a shit, but I don't go around firing shots at innocent people,"
Jimin rolled his eyes, though the smile dancing on his lips really ruined the intimidating feel
he was going for.

"Anyways, I'm taking you somewhere as a thanks for studying with me," Jimin looped his
arm with his. "I also want to thank you for hiding me from Min Yoongi."

"I still don't understand why you made me do that," Taehyung snorted, the skin between his
brows creased as the edge of his lip tugged upward into a lazy grin.
"Because I don't wanna talk to him," Jimin rolled his eyes like it was obvious. "Yoongi may
be hot, but he is the King of I Have Gnarly Daddy Issues."

"Should you be telling me this?" He lifted a brow.

"Probably not, but it's out there now."

This was what he learned about Jimin. When he warmed up, not only was he brutally blunt,
but he wasn't hard to be around. In fact, he reminded him of the convenience store Jimin
except more honest and shameless.

So shameless to the point that he would make obscene sex noises when Taehyung phoned his
dads.

"Wanna hear a fun fact?" Jimin asked, shaking the younger's arm.

"Do I want to?" Taehyung pushed his black hair out of his eyes. "Is it about Yoongi?" He
nodded.

He redyed it recently with Jimin's help just to try out something new. Jimin told him he was
using it as an excuse to erase traces of his ex, but he told him to shut up and help ("Didn't
think you had it in you to do that Tae").

"He fucked me on his piano once," Jimin declared, amusement twinkling in his half-moon
eyes seeing the disgust in Taehyung's eyes.

"I didn't need to know that," Taehyung winced. "I'm seeing having sex within your
friendgroup was a normal thing- ow! I'm kidding," He whined, rubbing his stomach where
Jimin punched him.

"Shut up," Jimin grumbled, "It was a heat of the moment thing. Y'know in dramas where
they're like, 'I'm not enough' and the guy is like 'Yeah you are. Enough for me' and they pin
you against the wall, undress you with their eyes, then fuck you?"

"No," The younger's nose bunched together, trying to untangle his arm from the older only to
be met with laughter.

"You don't even recognize the wall thing? It was a big ass trend to get slammed against the
wall—,"

"—Can I revoke our friendship?"

"Nope, once you jim-in, you can't jim-out," Jimin teased. Taehyung gave him a dirty look,
and soon enough, he dropped his arm.

"Sorry, that got cringey."

"Don't you think?" Taehyung snorted.

"You gotta try it eventually though," He said, leading Taehyung down another path of shops
he seemed to oddly recognize. Taehyung raised an eyebrow at him.

"Kinky sex is the best sex," Jimin said in a matter of fact way, catching him off guard.

"You'll see when you try it out. Like hair pulling? Yes. Getting your ass eaten? Fuck yeah."

"I— no," Taehyung cringed, "please stop before I decide to strangle you."

"See! That's kinky! Aren't you quite the natural?" Jimin wiggled his eyebrows at him, earning
a groan from the younger. "Okay jeez, I'll stop."

"Thank you," Taehyung sighed, rubbing his hand down his face. "God, I hate you." Jimin
snorted.

"Now that's a lie. You'll love me again when you see where I'm taking you as a token of my
appreciation," Jimin flicked his ear, laughter bubbling out of his throat.

"Where are you even taking me?" Taehyung asked, feeling the older's small hands wrap
around his wrist and tugged him along.

Before Taehyung could say something else about the older's behavior that was lowkey
starting to scare him, the wide smile he wore fell from his lips when he realized where Jimin
had brought him. Oh.

It was the place where Jeongguk brought him on their first fake date.

"What?" Jimin asked, arms crossed over his chest. "Don't tell me you hate it."

"I-I don't. I like it," Taehyung swallowed, awkwardly scratching the side of his neck. "I've—
uh, I've been here before."

"You have? With— oh," The older's tone softened realizing what he meant. Jimin nodded,
rubbing his palms over his thighs. "We can go back to Sunshine Sips, if you want."

"No," He said, shaking his head. "You wanted to bring me here. It's fine. It wasn't like a bad
memory or anything." It was one of the best memories of my life.

"You sure about it?" Jimin raised an eyebrow at him. "If you're not ready, don't force
yourself."

"It's just a place," Taehyung assured him, or rather, he tried to assure himself. Jimin gave him
once last look, only to be met with a shitty thumbs up, and with that, they went inside.

It was the same as he remembered it— it was still aesthetically pleasing except it wasn't night
time, and the tables didn't have candles lighting them up, and the classy piano music was
replaced by soft IU songs.

There weren't a lot of couples either. There were groups of friends, some elderly women, and
some families with their little children.
The hostess led them to a table not far from the one Taehyung and Jeongguk sat at. Taehyung
tried to not dwell on that, instead focusing on Jimin who was giving him concerned glances
over the hostess who was explaining the activities.

Eventually, they sat down to the activity of that day, which was painting pieces of premade
pottery. Jimin picked out a little cat, while Taehyung settled with a tiger.

Neither of them said anything for a while, but it didn't mean anything was bad. It wasn't
exactly awkward either. They just painted in silence, and when one of them did speak, it was
to pass the glaze.

"You doing alright?" Jimin asked after some time. The younger wasn't looking at him, instead
trying to focus on his tiger. He nodded, the tip of his tongue between his lips as he painted on
the black stripes.

"Y'know, I've never asked you about Jeongguk," Jimin said, returning back to painting his
cat, which he chose to color orange and brown. "How's that?"

"There's not much to say," Taehyung said, glancing up at the older for a split second. "I'm
okay. I haven't seen him in a while. Have you?"

"Only at practice," Jimin told him, chuckling a little. "But I think we've mutually agreed to
avoid each other."

"At least your face healed without a dent?" He snorted softly, tipping the end of his
paintbrush at him. Jimin simply shrugged.

"I guess so," Jimin murmured, "but even though I don't see him, I get worried. Jeongguk's not
very good at coping." At that, Taehyung's smile fell.

"Ah," The older hummed, realizing what he said. "I mean, he likes to overwork. It's nothing
bad, but he hides in volleyball. I'm sure his other friends got him covered." He sat up in his
seat, noticing how the other stopped painting.

"I'm sorry if I worried you. I know you still probably care about him," Jimin whispered, "and
it was a big mistake of me to bring you here."

"Don't apologize," Taehyung shook his head, staring down at the purple tiger he painted,
shoulders slightly slumped. Later, he inhaled slowly.

"He brought me here on a date," He whispered, remembering that night vividly, the mention
of the mere memory making his lips curve into a smile.

"We made each other bracelets and painted. I got to know about him more, and after that, we
walked around the lake. He was my first kiss," Taehyung breathed, the words on his tongue
wavering.

"I didn't like him yet," Beneath the table, his fingers curled into a fist. "I wished I did. It was
my first proper date, and he made it feel magical."
"He made it perfect, and I ruined it with a kiss," He giggled to himself, grinning fondly at the
memory. "I kissed his chin, and he made fun of me."

"How did you do that?" Jimin propped his elbow on the table, resting his chin on the cup of
his palm.

"I don't know," Taehyung laughed quietly, face warming. "But I did, and even though I
messed up, he kissed me. He told me to look at him and he kissed me."

Fuck, he could remember it. Could hear Jeongguk's laugh ring in his ears. Could feel
Jeongguk's palm faintly in his own and his fingers entangle with his. Could hear his stupid
jokes and picture his dorky smile.

But what pained him the most was that he was starting to forget his features. It was funny,
how he spent so much time with him and could picture all these things almost perfectly.

And yet, he couldn't seem to picture his face. He couldn't come up with the image, and the
more he struggled and failed to remember what Jeongguk looked like, the worse his chest
ached.

He closed his eyes shut, willing himself not to cry right here, especially since they were in
public of all places. It was different crying at home; he didn't need a bigger audience.

"I'm really sorry Tae," Jimin reached over the table, placing his palm over his forearm as the
younger began to sniffle.

"No, it's fine," He whispered, wiping at his eyes as he exhaled shakily, choking out a laugh.
"It's stupid."

"It's not," Jimin murmured, squeezing his wrist, "You clearly still love him."

"How could I not?" Taehyung chuckled, sniffling. "I miss him every single day."

"Have you gotten the chance to talk to him?" At that, he shook his head.

"I don't know when we will, but I want to," Taehyung whispered, wiping his palm down his
thigh. "I want to tell him how fricking stupid I was to let him go. I want to say I'm sorry, and
I really want to tell him I regret hurting him. I didn't mean to."

I want to tell him he was the best thing that had ever happened to me. Even if I can't get him
back, I wanted him to know how much he meant to me.

"Then do it," Jimin said. Taehyung snapped his head up, raising an eyebrow at him. "Tell
him."

"It's not that easy," The younger's brows drew together, knitting into a bunch. "I don't know
where he is. I don't see him in class, and when he does show up, he sits in the back."

"It's like he's avoiding me."

"He's probably thinking you want distance," Jimin corrected, watching as his friend hung his
head once more. "Tae, you two should talk it out. It's been a month."

"I know," He whispered ever so softly, he wasn't sure if he really said those words out loud.
"It's funny, how we want to talk about it after breaking up."

"It's how the world works," Jimin hummed. "You can't do anything about it, but take what it
gives you and make some beautiful from it."

"Even if you didn't get to talk until now, at least you get the closure some people don't get,"
He said, and for a split second, he swore he saw pain in the older's eyes. Before he could
mention it, it was already gone.

"Plus you two are different," Jimin continued, waving his brush at him. "You guys were best
friends who became lovers. You found what everyone in the world wants, and while it may
not work out as a romantic relationship, you two can be best friends."

"You think so?" Taehyung asked, hope lacing his words. The older nodded.

"Positive," Jimin said, finishing the last of his calico cat. "Y'know, if you want, I can let you
into the lockers during our spring tournament. You can talk to Jeongguk after the game if you
want."

"The best chance you got is to corner his ass."

"Jimin," He whispered, stilling in his seat, his heart tightening in his chest. "You don't have
to."

"I have to, and I will," The older snorted, rolling his eyes. "Both of you are my friends, even
if Jeongguk doesn't consider me one."

"Seeing you both happy is enough for me."

"That was gross," Taehyung teased, smacking his hand playfully. Jimin nodded, nose
crinkling in disgust, but the shy smirk that twitched across his lips gave him away.

"It's true though. You make Jeongguk the happiest I've ever seen him. You've made him smile
more than he ever did in years," Jimin said, squeezing Taehyung's hand briefly before pulling
away.

"If you guys don't date, at least try to be friends," He shrugged like it was nothing. "The least
I can do is to help you guys talk."

"Thank you," Taehyung murmured, reaching over and taking Jimin's hand in his, prompting
the older's eyes to widen, head whipping up to meet his gentle gaze.

"It's nothing," Jimin muttered, pulling his hand away. "I got punched in the face, and yet I'm
still helping you. You better be thankful."
"Of course," Taehyung chuckled, finding it funny how Jimin's cheeks flushed red. Just as he
returned to his clay painting, the older cleared his throat.

"You guys deserve the best."

He whispered ever so softly, so soft that Taehyung almost missed it. His eyebrows lifted for a
second, before he eventually smiled to himself, the pain in his chest, for once after so long,
eased.

When they were done, Jimin went ahead to go pay, while Taehyung lingered by the wall
where all the paintings where hung up. It didn't take long to find his, and when he did, his
stomach flipped seeing the one beside his was Jeongguk's.

It was a painting of the sky, the canvas a mixture of soft pinks, oranges, and cremes. Above
his painting was their picture of them with their work.

God, they were happy here.

Jeongguk and he were leaning into one another, smiling wide, and there he spotted the
younger's arm wrapped around his waist. It wasn't anything grand, for it was just slung there,
but it still managed to make his stomach erupt with all sorts of butterflies.

Taehyung inhaled slowly, the smile on his lips tiny albeit nostalgic. To think all those months
ago, they were on a fake date with no feelings involved.

He chuckled a little to himself and turned to leave, but before he did, his elbow knocked
Jeongguk's painting to the ground. His expression paled, and quickly he got down to pick it
up.

He tilted his head to the side, glancing at the small canvas in his hands. However, as he
looked closely, he noticed there were some words in reverse on the canvas. His smile
crumbled a little as he ran his thumb over it, realizing there was something on the back.

So, he flipped it, curiousity sparking. But the second he read the words on the back of the
canvas, his breath hitched, and he swore his heart stopped.

Taehyung's lip trembled, the tears he was holding in finally escaping, falling off his cheek
and onto the back. He bit down on his lip, gripping the canvas tight as his mouth curled into a
shaky smile.

There in Jeongguk's scraggly handwriting, were the words that made him love more than he
ever did.

What the sky looked like when I realized I felt more.

 happy surprises & dirty plays

♡♡♡

"You think he's really going to talk to me?" Taehyung asked, standing by the door, waiting for
Jimin as the older was shoving on his shoes.

Today was the first game of the spring tournament. It already started a bit ago, but since their
school was a high seed (they won a lot), they got to pass onto the next round.

It wasn't part of the plan to go and talk to Jeongguk, but after talking with Jin and Hoseok last
night, he realized that maybe they did need this. Maybe if they talked, the pain would finally
fade, and perhaps things would be better.

Taehyung wasn't ready, but he knew if he didn't gathered the courage to talk to him, he would
never be. If he didn't do this now and kept pushing it for later, the pain would only worsen.

Closure was closure. They owed each other that, and of course, an apology. Even though he
might not have been ready to face Jeongguk after so long, this was part of the process to heal.

The process that they needed to move on.

"He better," Jimin grumbled, finally getting his shoes on before hopping onto his feet. He
grabbed his duffle from the couch and slung it over his shoulder, hands tucked into his jacket
pockets.

"If he doesn't, I'll make sure not to set to him," Jimin chuckled, thanking Taehyung quietly as
he opened the door for him.

"You two need to talk 'cuz I'm losing brain cells watching you guys apart."

"Ouch," Taehyung rubbed the side of his neck, grinning sheepishly at the ground. He shut the
door behind the both of them, and the two went on, side by side.

"Is Yuta gonna be there?" He blurted out all of a sudden, right as the duo approached the
elevator. He didn't know why the guy came to mind, especially after all he had done, but he
did.

He wondered if Jeongguk was seeing him, though it wasn't really his place to get mad
anymore. The younger could do whatever, but a part of him, the part that ached, wanted to
know if Yuta was out there with his— with Jeongguk.
"He's not an official team member, but he might be there," Jimin shrugged, eyeing the
younger up and down when he said nothing.

"Well, if you're thinking about Jeongguk and him, the two haven't been talking."

"What?" He whipped his head toward the older, an eyebrow raised, confused. Jimin nodded,
pressing the elevator button.

"He only talks to him if it's on the court, but even then it's just orders. Jeongguk doesn't talk
to anyone during practice anymore," Jimin said.

"He's gone quiet lately."

"Is it because he's focused?" He tried to ignore the pang in his chest, willing himself to force
the worry away, knowing that Jeongguk was capable of caring for himself.

Not everything could be bad, he swallowed thickly, following after Jimin into the elevator.
Not every scenario could go wrong. Jeongguk was probably doing fine on his own; he might
have already moved on. He had to be okay.

"Could be," Jimin murmured, drumming his fingers over his bag strap. "When it comes to
prefecturals, he takes them seriously. We have another shot at nationals this year."

"That's good to hear," Taehyung shifted on his toes, staring down at the floor. He didn't know
why his stomach was twisting like it did; it shouldn't be.

"It's alright Tae," The older said, nudging his elbow with his own. "You'll see him, he'll see
you, and you both will talk your shit out, and things will get better."

"Or worse," He grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. Jimin rolled his eyes.

"If you want to be negative, be my guest," Jimin sighed. "But I honestly think after this, you
two will work out again. If not, I'll spike a ball at his head."

"Can I ask something?" Taehyung leaned against the elevator wall, gaze fixating on the older
as he tapped his foot impatiently against the ground. Jimin raised an eyebrow at him.

"Why are you so intent on getting us back together?"

"That's a dumb question," Jimin snorted. "One, I'm your friend. Two, why'd you ask me
that?"

"Because all you've been doing lately is trying to get us to talk," The younger said back, lips
pulling into a grin. "Is there some secret ulterior motive that you have that I'm missing?"

"Ulterior motive? How petty do you think I am?" He asked, pointing at himself. "Can I not
do it for the sake of the goodness in my heart?"

"Or," Taehyung teased, "is it because you still love Jeongguk?" Jimin scoffed, loudly.
"Seriously? I told you, I'd forever love Jeongguk as my friend, dipshit," Jimin said cooly, not
daring to spare him a look.

"My romantic love-love time with Jeon Jeongguk is over. So is our friendship. We'll never be
friends again."

"You don't know that," Taehyung stepped closer to the older, his shoulder brushing against
his. "Maybe the both of you should talk too, y'know."

"Tae, there's a difference between us," Jimin's jaw tightened. Taehyung lifted an eyebrow at
him.

"Really now?"

"Yes, really," The older breathed out, "There is a big difference. Jeongguk and I were
childhood friends. He never saw me as anything other than a friend. With you, he saw
something more."

"And what was that?" He asked, curiously. Jimin rolled his eyes for what seemed the
umpteenth time.

"I don't know what you want me to say, Tae, but I will tell you this. The exact words he told
me last summer were that he would never have anymore room in his heart to love somebody
else," Jimin whispered.

"He swore to me," He said, back facing him as the two of them walked out of the elevator
together. "He swore that he wouldn't love anything more than his family and volleyball."

"And when he saw you," Jimin stopped, swiveling around to face him. Taehyung stiffened,
glancing between the sadness in Jimin's eyes to the finger poking his chest.

"He threw it all away," He murmured, jabbing his finger over his heart. "With me, he kept
that promise until the end, but with you?"

"He broke it in a heartbeat."

Taehyung didn't know what to say, or rather, if there was anything he should say to him now
that Jimin's features were contorted with this pain he wished he knew how to soothe. He
swallowed the knot building in his throat, trying to ignore how his heart was already
pounding in his chest.

"That's why I want you two to fix your shit," Jimin exhaled shakily, shoving his fingers
through his blonde locks.

"Jeongguk is a big child stuck in a teenager's body, and he can't ever get his shit together on
his own, so I have to pick up his slack. It's been that way ever sincr we were six," He
murmured, the nostalgia in his tone bittersweet.

God, he couldn't imagine how it must have felt to love someone for so long just to lose them
in the end. He wondered how close they were, what they went through, and what the hell
happened that shattered them this easily.

Maybe a long time ago he would be jealous of Jimin, perhaps he would even be hating him,
but now, he didn't know what to feel.

"Can we go already?" Jimin asked quietly, hurt lacing his words as his arms retreated to his
sides.

Without another sentence, Taehyung nodded, watching as Jimin stared down at the floor for a
mere moment before turning around and heading toward the exit.

♡♡♡

"You sure you're even ready for something like this, Cap?" Yugyeom asked, concern lacing
his words as he tugged his dufflebag strap over his shoulder.

The two of them entered the venue together, and with that said, marked the official day for
the spring prefecturals they needed to win in order to make it to nationals.

Jeongguk wasn't worried about it much, hell, it was nationals. Their team was brilliant, and
with their top tier offense, defense, and him as their ace, this tournament should be easy—
after all, he trained non stop for this.

Every day before, he stayed back for extra hours, working harder than anyone, and put the
most effort into perfecting his skills to be the best. He only ate what gave him energy, slept
less to make it to the gym early, and worked until his muscles ached.

Thankfully, most of the team decided to call this passion— devotion.

But to Yugyeom, especially after Jeongguk's incident in the gym a week ago, he preferred to
call it self destruction, mania, which Jeongguk honestly didn't agree with.

He was okay, peachy, even. So what he broke it off with Taehyung? It didn't hurt anymore
anyways. It was all gone! Taehyung was out of his life, and it took just one big cry to get it
out!

He would he fine without Taehyung. There would be more people in his life to date, to fall in
love with. He would meet others, and he found a way to forget about the pain in his chest
through volleyball.

So what that they broke up. It didn't matter to him anymore.

"I'm fine," Jeongguk muttered, hands wedged into his pockets, not quite able to meet the
younger's eyes yet. Stop babying me, he wanted to say but his teeth clamped on his lip,
holding it back.

"It's a tournament game, y'know. They're not three sets— they're five. You of all people know
how badly we need stamina in these games," Yugyeom stressed.

"Have you even been sleeping?" The younger asked, swiveling around to get a better look at
his face. He reached up, poking beneath his eyes.

"Your bags are as loose as the vaggies I fuck."

"I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that," Jeongguk's nose crinkled, swatting his hand away. "I
do not have eyebags you hooligan. I am rested."

"I am fucking speed right now."

He added for the dramatic flare Yugyeom said he lacked nowadays to put some emphasis that
he, Jeon Jeongguk, was back to normal— not heartbroken.

"Quoting Lightning Mcqueen won't change my mind that you're a tired bitch," Yugyeom
snorted. "I want you to nap before our first game, Cap."

"What? No. I'm seventeen, not six," Jeongguk scoffed, slipping his hand out of his pocket,
fingers curling around his bag strap as he shot him a glare.

"At this rate, you are one," He muttered, nudging his side with his elbow. Jeongguk scowled.
"You're literally depression."

"Being around you makes me wanna blast Lucid Dreams and mope."

"That's a you problem," Jeongguk retorted, fingers wrung around the strap gripping the
material hard as they turned the corner to the team lockers.

"And if I was a sad bitch, I'd blast Harry Styles," He added quietly. "Lucid Dreams is for sad
middle schoolers. Harry is for sad hella gay men."

"So you're admitting you're sad?" The younger raised an eyebrow at him, stopping abruptly.
Jeongguk glanced at him, unamused.

"I was just making a statement," He brushed his hair out of his eyes. "I'm not sad. I told you
I'm over it."

"Sure you are," Yugyeom hummed, eyeing him up and down. "Did you lose weight? Your
muscles look a bit deflated. Don't tell me you're missing meals."

"Are you staying hydrated?!"

"Fuck off. You're not my sister," Jeongguk rolled his eyes. "C'mon, stop being a bitch and
let's get going."
"Oof," Yugyeom's shoulders sagged, the skin around his nose wrinkling as his lips pulled into
a frown. "I was trying to be all nice, but you stomped on me and called me a dirty whore."

"Uh, no I didn't," The older's brows knitted together.

"Yeah you did. In your head," Yugyeom said back in a pout, false hurt lacing his words.

"M'not kinky," Jeongguk sighed impatiently. "Are you gonna start walking, or am I gonna
leave you here? M'going with the latter in five seconds."

"God you're infuriating Jeon. I just care about you," Yugyeom mumbled, crossing his arms
tightly over his chest as he stomped toward the older. Jeongguk snorted lightly.

"What happened to the dirty, funny Jeonggukie?"

"Stop acting like my older sister, seriously," He said, glancing over at the younger, who was
giving him quite the dirty look, something Hyejung would do.

It was then, did this pang of homesickness hit his heart directly. He nearly lost his footing at
the sudden shot, not quite expecting it after all this time playing matches on his own without
his family in the crowd watching him.

But for some reason, it affected him, thinking of his sisters and his family all the way back in
Busan. He knew they could never come watch his games— it was a hassle with three little
girls and a sick mom.

Jeongguk got used to the fact they would never be there for him. Sure, it hurt like a bitch
seeing his friends' parents in the stands, but it was what it was. He was always meant to be
alone; he couldn't help it.

But as much as he missed them, he couldn't let anything else hurt his heart. Not like his heart
was hurting or anything, though.

"You're so mean," Yugyeom grumbled, finally speaking up again when they're at the locker
door. "I was gonna surprise you with something, but you're being a big jerkface."

"Jerkface, how old are you? Two?"

"Fuck off, meaniehead." He stuck his tongue out at him.

"I don't want your surprise, Yugs. I told you, you don't need to make me happy. I'm fine,"
Jeongguk eventually sighed, putting emphasis on the word 'fine' while he reached for the
door handle.

"When you see it, maybe you would," He shrugged. The older rolled his eyes at him, opening
the door in front of him without looking.

"How many times do I have to say I'm—,"

"—Oppa!!!!!" Jeongguk grunted loudly, three heavy things crashing right into him, almost
topping him over until he got a steady grip on the door.

"What the fu— Noona?" He whispered softly, jaw dropped and blinking rapidly seeing his
sister, in the fucking flesh, standing in the lockerroom, smirking at him.

Unable to believe this, he glanced down, throat tight seeing his three sisters clinging onto his
limbs and staring up at him with bright, toothy smiles. For some reason, his entire mouth was
dry, and his chest, god, his chest was oddly tight?

"What're you doing here?" He gulped, voice a mere rasp as he forced the words out of his
throat. His oldest sister merely grinned, tucking her black hair behind her ear.

"To surprise you, of course," Hyejung said, walking up to him. "Dad was gonna offer to take
the girls up this weekend, and I thought I should join 'em cuz somebody told me you had a
tournament."

He didn't know what to feel, fuck, the walls behind his eyes stung while he crouched down,
throwing his arms around his sisters, trying to hug all of them at once, to greet their excited
faces.

He couldn't comprehend it— this couldn't be real right now. He was missing them a few
moments ago, accepting the fact they would never be there, and here they were. In the flesh.
Holding him.

He looked over at Yugyeom, shaky smile meeting his all knowing smirk. Oh, he was so going
to kill him later for pulling this.

God, he struggled to hold himself together while his youngest sister tried to climb into his
lap, pressing kisses all over his cheek and chanting how much she missed him. He couldn't
even breathe, the heat of the moment knocking the wind out of his lungs.

His mouth ached from smiling so widely, and the tears prickling at his eyes began to form,
glazing his irises over with happiness he hadn't felt in a long time. He nuzzled his face into
Hyelin's hair, holding Hyein close to his body, while Jeonkyung's arms were slung around his
neck.

To think this was what he needed.

"Oppa! I miss you so so much!" Hyelin giggled, patting his cheek. "I get to see you play
today!"

"Yes you do," Jeongguk chuckled sweetly, ruffling her hair, nose scrunching with more
laughter when she whined about him messing up her bow.

"You better play well, okay?" Hyein punched his shoulder, "I wanna study your form.
Hyejung said I wasn't stepping into my spike right, so I'ma watch you, okay?"

"Alright," He said, patting her shoulder, smiling up at her brightly. "After the game, I can
help you, hm? We can figure it out." Inna nodded excitedly.
"Stay safe today, Oppa," He tried to turn toward Jeonkyung, who was pressing her cheek
against his. "I know nothing about volleyball, but I'll support you, 'kay?"

"I appreciate it Kyung," Jeongguk said softly, hand clamping over her small forearm and
squeezing it assuringly.

"What about you? You gonna say something to me?" He teased, watching Hyejung stride
toward them, probably enjoying the scene unfold while Yugyeom melted by the lockers.

"Should I say something encouraging?" She asked, sarcasm dripping off her words, not quite
matching the smile she wore proudly.

"I'm just happy to see you haven't died."

"That's pretty morbid, noona," Jeongguk snorted, sadly untangling himself from his younger
sisters, knowing he wouldn't change in time since he always got distracted playing with them.

"M'kidding," Hyejung snickered. "I just wanted to talk to you, big sis to my only baby bro."
He raised an eyebrow at her, glancing back and forth between his sister and Yugyeom.

"Don't worry about the girls. Dad's here to watch, too," Hyejung waved his worry off upon
seeing it on his face. "Yugyeom, mind taking them?"

"Nope, I'd be glad to escort Cap's sisters," He said, bowing a little. "I'll guard them with my
entire life Jeongguk." He saluted, holding his arms out for the girls to take.

"You better," Jeongguk teased, winking at his sisters, who were giggling getting to hold onto
a buff guy like Yugyeom. "Don't let them get hurt."

"Never. I'll spoil them like princesses," Yugyeom winked back at him, earning another eye
roll from the older.

"Let's go tiny humans! I'll buy you guys some snacks. How about that?"

"As long as there's no raisins or old people candy, I'm all in," Jeonkyung shrugged, linking
her arm with Yugyeom's while she held onto Inna. Lin took Yugyeom's other arm.

"Do you like cinnamon candies?" Jeonkyung made a face. "Alright. I'll keep that in mind."

Right before Yugyeom left, however, Jeongguk held his hand out, hand pressing against his
chest. He glanced down at him, lifting an eyebrow at the older.

"Thank you," Jeongguk whispered, meaning every fucking word that left his mouth.
Yugyeom nodded once, patted his shoulder, and with that, took his sisters out to spoil them
silly.

Once the door shut, he gathered the courage to face Hyejung, for he felt her heavy stare
settling on him once the airness of being with his sisters finally left his chest in one big
exhale.
"We need to talk," Hyejung started, catching him off guard. Jeongguk scratched the side of
his neck, half expecting her to yell at him and scold him like a child like she usually did, but
instead, her features softened, her smile easing into a frown.

"I'm disappointed, Gguk," She whispered, which was honestly rare considering she was his
sister, who screamed his ear off whenever he fucked up.

"I'm disappointed I had to hear about what was going on from your friend, and not you." Oh.

"Is it something I did? Am I not here enough? Are the calls not enough for you to know that
I'm always here for you?" Hyejung asked, sadness sparkling in her doe eyes as she reached
forward, gripping his arm.

"Are we not as close as we used to be?"

"W-what? No," Jeongguk murmured, staring down at her hand around his arm, gulping. "It's
not that."

"Then what? Gguk, we've been there for each other for everything. We promised after I got
hurt, I'd never leave you," Hyejung whispered.

"I know," He said, suddenly not wanting to be there anymore if this conversation was heading
where it was going. "It's not important, noona."

"Yes it is. To me, yes, it is," She countered, grip tightening when he tried to pull away. "My
brother breaking up with his boyfriend and wearing himself down to the bone concerns me."

"I'm fine," Jeongguk forced out between his teeth. "It wasn't a big deal," He lied, squeezing
the words out of his seemingly sword throat.

"Keep saying it all you want, but I know you aren't. I know you, Jeongguk. You're like me.
When we hurt, we work ourselves until we can't feel the pain," She said quietly.

"You can tell me if you're hurting," She continued, ignoring the way he tensed beneath her
touch. "By now, after seeing mom suffer, it's okay to be honest."

"Noona, stop. I have a game," Jeongguk said weakly. "I don't wanna talk about him." He
added quickly, mumbling the words underneath his breath, for if he said them any louder, the
pain would return again.

"Okay," Hyejung nodded, letting go of him, but even so, Jeongguk still felt like he was
choking. "But if what I heard was right, then."

"Then what?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Then," She bit her lip, "you shouldn't be playing."

Jeongguk's jaw suddenly clenched, "You can't tell me what to do, noona. I'm almost an adult.
I can make my own decisions."
"Not when you're like this," She shook her head, gesturing at him. "Not after you tortured
your body. When was the last time you ate a full meal? Slept seven hours? Rested in between
properly?"

"Hyejung—," He started, only to be caught off by his sister shaking her head once more.

"Jeongguk, I love you, okay?" She murmured, "I trust you to make the right choice, but do
you really think playing right now is one?"

"Yeah, of course," He said, swallowing the hesitation back down his throat— there was no
need to be reluctant; he knew his body well. "I've trained for this."

She opened her mouth to say something, but before she could, her lips sealed shut, words
dying on her frown. Instead, she stepped forward, hands settling on her brother's arms,
holding him in place.

"When this game is over, we are gonna catch up properly, alright?" Hyejung said sternly,
squeezing his biceps. "But you better take breaks if your coach or friends say you need
them."

"Noona i'll be fine," Jeongguk tried again, but he knew his words meant nothing to her. Why
would they if he didn't even mean them himself.

"Heartbreak, Jeongguk, is a whole different type of pain," Hyejung murmured. "There's no

remedy for it except allowing those who care for you to be there for you, alright?"

"When did you become so mature?" He snorted, trying to ease the seriousness of the
situation, unable to bear the worry on his sister's features any longer.

"Shut the fuck up," Hyejung grumbled, punching his stomach. Jeongguk winced, hand flying
up to his abs, hating how hard she could hit.

"M'just saying," She shrugged like she didn't just punch him with all her strength, "I'm here
for you."

"I know," Jeongguk molded his lips into a lopsided smirk as he rubbed the sore spot. "I can
see you."

"Don't smart talk me dumbass unless you want me to punch you again," She threatened. The
younger's eyebrows raised along with his hands in defense.

"Can I ask one more serious thing though?" She asked. He nodded, feeling her grip ease
around his arms.

"Did he hurt you?"

Oh, Jeongguk wasn't expecting that. He gulped, not really wanting to think about that
especially since he had a game soon, and surely he didn't need to break apart again, but for
some reason, he was oddly calm with Hyejung staring right at him.
It hurt, yes. It hurt like a fucking bitch tearing his insides to shreds and slamming a hammer
on his heart until it was barely even pieces but rather fine dust.

But as he stood there, chewing on his lips as his sister's honey irises seemed to search his
own for an answer, he inhaled sharply and took every fiber of his courage to answer.

"We hurt each other," He said, finally. Hyejung's features eased, every trace of hatred fading
as her lips pull into a thin line.

"It wasn't just him? It was you too?" He nodded stiffly. Hyejung's hands dropped back to her
sides, proceeding to cross over her chest.

"Well then, we'll sort it out after. I'll talk some fucking sense into you 'cuz clearly you need
some relationship advice," She chuckled, jutting her chin at him.

"I love you, Gguk," She whispered softly, right after.

"I love you too, Noona," Jeongguk replied, smiling back at her, one that was brighter than the
previous ones.

"Okay, gross," She grinned, reaching over and ruffling his hair. "M'gonna go find our sisters,
take them to Dad, and watch you play. Take care, okay? I hope you win."

"You know we will," Jeongguk said, smirking widely, somewhat feeling like his old self a
little bit, and though he knew it was probably temporary, he held onto it before he could lose
it.

"That's the spirit!" Hyejung cheered, smacking his shoulder, already on her way out.
"Goodluck!"

Jeongguk mumbled a quick thanks, watching as his sister swung the door open and
disappeared in the direction Yugyeom went off with his sisters. He leaned against the side of
the locker, arms crossed over his chest as his smile slowly began to fade.

He was going to be okay, Hyejung gave him that hope at least. This game was what he
worked for, hell, he was ready for this game.

Nothing could affect him at all, right?

♡♡♡

Jimin had to leave to meet up with his teammates, leaving Taehyung to wander around the
big venue on his own since Jin and Hoseok weren't coming until the game was about to start.
So, he was left following the crowds toward the gym, panic texting Hoseok and Jin that big
crowds were fricking intimidating and that people were staring at him because he was alone,
which honestly wasn't great for his social anxiety.

Jimin said as long as he followed the crowds, he would be good! He shouldn't be

overthinking. Every time he did, Jimin took money out of their group milkshake jar, so it
wasn't worth it to be.

He just had to trust the process, and plus, he noticed a couple people from their school
adorning their school colors of red and black.

People were crazy, with those noise makers and big signs to wave at the players. Some girls
wore makeup and some even had shirts with stiched on numbers of their favorite players.

Taehyung hoped his outfit was fine? He was wearing baggy, khaki-colored pants, loafers he
stole from Warren, and a soft crimson sweater that matched Jimin's jersey. It had to have
worked, right? Okay, he shouldn't be stressing about fashion— he needed to find the gym.

God, if only he didn't let Jimin out of his reach so easily. Maybe if he begged he would have
led him to the stands, but noooooo Jimin left with a quick goodbye and disappeared.

Alright, no. Get a grip, he said inside his head as he blended in with a sea of red and black,
marching along with them to the stands. He got this. He could do this simple thing.

Eventually the crowd led him into this empty hall? He didn't know where people were going,
but he guessed they dispersed through some door because he could hear the whistles and
cheering from where he stood.

He glanced down at his phone, hoping for another text from his friends to say that they at
least left the dorm, only to be met with Jin raging about Hoseok being an indecisive bitch on
what socks he should wear (Nobody will see them anyways you prissfuck).

Bummer. Looked like they weren't coming anytime soon. Taehyung rolled his eyes, head
hung low to see his phone better through his slightly smudged glasss, and before he knew
where his feet were taking him, he hit a wall.

Or well, it felt like a wall? It was hard, and big, and firm? Was that how walls felt?

Glancing upward, quick to curse himself for being a fricking idiot, Taehyung fumbled to fix
his glasses and tilted his head up, realizing this wasn't some ordinary wall.

Heck, this wasn't a wall! Walls didn't breathe.

Instead, it was a guy. Somebody he recognized.

"Watch where you're going," His accent was heavy, clearly not from around any part of
Korea. Taehyung blinked again, opening his mouth only to shut it again.

"Ah, it's you. Nice to see you again, Kim," Bitterness wove in between every husked vowel,
matching the sneer on the person's lips. It was him— Yuta.
"Looking a bit different, Kim," Yuta pointed out, eyes raking his figure. "Bit of a downgrade
huh." He bit his inner cheek, tensing at his insult.

"I'd like to think it's an upgrade," Taehyung tried to summon all his confidence, or rather,
confidence he borrowed from Jimin and Jin, which he hoped didn't make him look like an
idiot.

He undid all the effects of the makeover a long time ago, starting with dying his hair to black,
ditching the constant contacts, and even going back to his old fashion choices except with
Jimin's help, made better.

He felt more like himself than he did before, and it honestly worked for him. There was no
way he was letting a dick like Yuta to tell him what he couldn't be— if he was comfortable
with it, why should his opinion matter?

"If you think so," Yuta snorted, hands sliding into his pants pockets. "The blue was a
mistake." Again, he tried not to wince, but he did anyways.

"Why are you here?" Taehyung cleared his throat, willing himself to stand up straight, to
appear unaffected because there was no way he was letting this asshole get to him.

"Have to support Jeongguk. I should be asking you the same," He tipped his chin toward him.
"You can't be here."

"It's a public area and I go to the same school," He deadpanned, "I can be here. Dunno about
you though."

"I'm Jeongguk's friend," Yuta spat out. "Y'know, it looks bad on your end showing up. Makes
you a bit desperate." Okay, what now?

"Desperate?" He forced out a laugh, sliding his buzzing phone into his pocket. Yuta nodded,
staring him down, eyes narrowed. "Maybe I'm not the only blind one here."

"Trying to be a smartass, huh? It's not gonna cut it. You cheated on Jeongguk and broke his
heart," Yuta seethed.

"You showing up here is an embarrassment."

"I'm the embarrassment here?" He scoffed, pointing at himself. "Have you seen yourself? I
caught you flirting with my ex while we were dating. Thinking you didn't do anything is
delusional."

"He wanted it," The other bit back. Taehyung raised an eyebrow at him, jaw pressed tight and
shoulders now squared. "I treated him way better than you did."

"He didn't even mention you existed to me," Yuta snapped. "He was so ashamed of you. I see
why now when you look like that."

"Excuse me?" Taehyung asked. God, he was too mad to wince, to let the insults get to his
head. A long time ago, he would cower away and cry to his friends, but now? He was done
with it.

So fucking done, he couldn't stand this anymore.

"Face it Kim, you were a shitty excuse of a boyfriend. I could have treated him so much
better," Yuta said smoothly, venom poisoning his words. What he said was partially true— he
did have his issues which he regretted, but he knew better to let it get to him.

"Really now?" He lifted an eyebrow at him, jaw clenched so tight a muscle visibly twitched
along the sharpened bone.

"Jeongguk deserves everything. I could have taken him out on nice dates. I listened to all his
problems. We would have been perfect together."

What a delusional bitch. Taehyung wanted to laugh.

"Even if you could," Taehyung took a step forward, lips curled into a sneer. "You couldn't do
one thing."

"And what's that?" Yuta asked, staring him down. The other merely smirked, lip flicking
upward as he tilted his head to the side, meeting his gaze with an equally lethal one.

"You couldn't ever fuck him like I did."

"You're so full of yourself. Nobody would fuck a guy who looks as deformed as you," Yuta
snorted. "Sorry, but God did you fucking dirty, dude."

"Well, then, if I'm so ugly," He pressed a hand to his chest, indifferent, words a low drawl,
rumbling in his throat.

"Then why did Jeongguk beg for my cock?" He asked, batting his eyes innocently at him.
"Think you could fuck him so hard against the mattress the way he wants? Make him sob
your name? Think just 'cuz you think you're sooo good, you can make a mess out of him the
way I did?"

"Or are you the type to brag but when it comes to it your dick's so fucking small nobody
could feel it?"

"You son of a bitch," Yuta hissed, rage flashing in his slitted eyes. "I could do it."

"No you can't," Taehyung scoffed, the bitterness in his laughter heavy on his tongue. "You
can't."

"Then tell me why," He snarled. Taehyung glanced at the floor briefly before whipping his
head up, a shit-earing smirk sitting lazily on his lips.

"Because you didn't love him like I did."

"When I fuck him, I meant it. He's not just a body I could treat well and show off like a
fucking item. He's more than that," He said smoothly, letting out the truth he'd always wanted
to say out loud.

"He isn't the grand prize. He also isn't some fucking trophy to flash to others," Taehyung
snapped. "Sure, maybe you could treat him better, but you could never love him the way we
loved each other."

"I'd be lying if I said I was sorry you could never experience it, 'cuz you just can't. And you
never, ever will."

"You're a fucking delusional bitch, Kim," Yuta scoffed, shaking his head, but it was clear he
won this. There was no way he could bounce back from what he just said.

"I prefer that you stop mixing the two of us up," He smirked, sliding his own fists into his
pockets. "It'd be best if your desperate ass left. I doubt Jeongguk would want to see you."

"You cheated on him," Yuta tried, and sure, it stung, but it was only a mere pinch. Taehyung
nodded.

"But you were the one trying to get him to cheat," Taehyung retorted. "Maybe that's the only
thing we will have in common," He shrugged, flashing him a harmless smile.

"Go back to Japan," Taehyung said when the other said nothing for quite some time, marking
his victory.

"Find somebody that'll actually love you back for the shitty asshole you are."

"Fuck you," Yuta spat, failing to come up with a better insult, which was enough to stroke
Taehyung's budding ego. The other simply rolled his eyes and swiveled in the other direction,
striding away toward the exit, defeated.

"That was fucking hot."

Taehyung whipped around, eyebrows raised on his face hearing a voice behind him. But
thankfully, it was Jin and Hoseok, but his face was still heating up into its usual red.

"Did you hear all of that?" He asked awkwardly, scratching the side of his neck as his two
friends approached him.

"Heard some of it," Jin said, winking at him, laughing along with Hoseok when Taehyung's
hands flew to cover up his face, hiding his embarrassment.

"You really told him off, Tae," Hoseok's hand clamped his shoulder, shaking him gently with
the biggest heart-shaped smile on his lips.

"Was it too much though?" He asked weakly, hands sliding down his face before retreating
into his trouser pockets. Jin shook his head, snickering.

"Nah, it was good. A little possessive though. Thought you were over Jeongguk," He teased.
The youngest rolled his eyes, scowling.
"I'm not, you know that, but I'm dealing with it okay? That Yuta guy just pissed me off, and if
he wasn't gonna tell him off, I would," Taehyung said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"You do have a point," Hoseok pointed out. "You know what's gonna cheer you up?" He
mumbled a low what, and in seconds, Hoseok pulled up his pant leg, flashing his chipmunk
socks.

"He took fucking eons to pick them," Jin groaned, staring at the socks with utter distaste .
Taehyung, on the otherhand, giggled, finding them adorable.

"Are you two done? We should probably go grab seats," Jin said, immediately speaking up
when Hoseok began to pretend to model his ridiculous socks, making Taehyung laugh harder.

"Sorry," Taehyung pressed his fingers over his mouth, trying to repress the giggle bubbling
up his throat when Hoseok gestured dramatically at his socks.

"I'm so done with the two of you," Seokjin rolled his eyes once more, took both of them by
the elbows, and yanked them toward the stands.

The three of them eventually burst into laughter, with Hoseok and Taehyung bumping
themselves against Seokjin, whose windshield wiper laugh only seemed to worsen the fit.
They stumbled into the stands, eyes scrunched together and mouths wide in the happiest
smiles as they approached the seats.

Luckily there was still some room by the front, and they managed to squeeze there way to the
balcony barrier. The laughter already died down, now that they were seeing the real thing.

Below them was a massive court, and one side was the other school, who seemed to have a
big support system like theirs. All of them were in light blue and white jerseys. On the other
side was their school, wearing their black and red ones.

Taehyung quickly found Jimin, spotting the setter standing by the net, leading warmups. It
was easy to spot his blonde hair, and of course, his really short shorts that seemed to
accentuate his ass.

"Somebody needs to get him longer shorts," Jin teased from the side. A long time ago, he
would have talked shit on him, but ever since Taehyung brought the group together, Jin was
growing fond of him.

"It's Jimin for you. He probably distracts the other team with his ass along with his setting
skills," Hoseok snorted. "Look, there's Yugyeom and San stretching."

When Taehyung followed the direction where Hoseok was pointing, he expected Jeongguk to
be with them, but he wasn't. He wasn't disappointed, or anything, but he couldn't deny the
way his stomach dropped not seeing him.

"It's okay, he's here," The voice that called out to him was neither Hoseok or Jin. When he
turned around to see who it was, his eyebrows eased seeing it was Jae.
"Who are you?" Jin asked before Taehyung could greet him. Jae flashed him a small smile,
walking over and filling the empty spot beside Hoseok.

"Choi Jae. I'm Jeongguk's friend. I know you guys haven't seen him in a while, but I assure
you, he's here," Jae said, his gaze fixing intently on Taehyung.

"That's good to hear," Hoseok thankfully answered for Taehyung. The youngest of the group
swallowed, thanking Jae quietly before facing the volleyball court, secretly scanning their
faces for him.

It took some time, as he chewed on his lip, teething picking at the sensitive skin while he
searched for him. And when his gaze finally fell on him, he swore his chest tightened at the
sight of him.

He hadn't seen him in so long. His breath hitched, relief flooding through him seeing that he
was okay. Jeongguk was stretching, something to someone across the court, so he couldn't
really see his face.

But when he did, Taehyung's lungs squeezed, all the air knocked from them. He was still the
same, his features ever so perfect, and his hair slightly longer than before. He was stretching,
saying something to someone across the court.

And although Jeongguk probably couldn't see him, all that seemed to matter was the fact he
saw him. It pained him when his memories forgot Jeongguk's face, and he couldn't visualize
him no matter how hard he tried to.

But now, he was there, breathing, walking, moving in front of him. Sure, his expression was
unreadable, and he didn't see him smile once, but at least he was there, proving to Taehyung
he wasn't some figment of his imagination.

Taehyung took advantage of the situation while he could, scrambling to remember his
features this time and holding onto the pieces within his memories. He gripped the balcony
edge, staring at him, his eyes always on him.

The game started with Jeongguk tossing a coin for first service. Luckily, they won, the other
captain begrudgingly handing Jeongguk the ball.

He watched him return to his teammates. Yugyeom patted his back, saying something
inaudible to him, which provoked an eye roll from the other. Jimin and Jeongguk merely
nodded to one another, and soon, Jeongguk was about to serve.

Taehyung always loved watching Jeongguk play.

He was graceful, practically soaring in the sky when he went for the jump serve. He seemed
to hang in the air for a moment, before slamming his arm forward, sending the ball hurtling
across the court.

Somebody was able to get it, though it was off, and they nearly fell to the ground. Taehyung's
eyes widened in awe, watching the ball be tossed to the setter, who set it up for the hitter
waiting.

On their side, Yugyeom and another tall kid were waiting to block, their hands right in front
of them. Together, they jumped in unison, hands above the net to meet the spike.

"One touch!" Yugyeom shouted, sinking back to the ground and quickly dropping back as the
ball was received by one of their teammates.

The ball was passed to Jimin, who was ready, and when the ball came to him, Taehyung and
his friends gasped seeing his fingers effortlessly push the ball up, his back arching to reach
Jeongguk who was behind him.

The sequence was flawless with the way Jeongguk approached the ball, jumping high to meet
the ball Jimin set, and slamming it down on the other team's court, breaking past all of their
defenses and landing right on the ground behind the blockers.

For a moment, the gym was silent, before it erupted in the roar of their school's crowd.
Taehyung, still in shock after watching them, glanced around, unable to believe that what he
saw was real.

"He's still good as ever," Hoseok chuckled warmly, leaning forward on the banister. "He's a
god. Makes sense why every school wants him."

"What can Jeon Jeongguk not do?" Jin murmured, shaking his head as the referee whistled,
silencing the gym for Jeongguk's second serve.

"Talk about his feelings," Jae spoke up. The three of them stared in disbelief at the boy,
holding back their laughter seeing Jae said it with a blank expression.

"Ouch," Hoseok snorted, averting his gaze back to the game along with Jin and Taehyung.

The first set, they ended up beating the other team. It was 31-29, seeing that in volleyball, in
order to win a set, you must win by two. Taehyung spent his time watching Jeongguk in
amazement, seeing him kill spike after spike without a trace of exhaustion.

Although, he didn't ignore Yugyeom, San, and Jimin. Yugyeom was a really good blocker,
always getting a touch on the ball, softening the spike. Jimin seemed to set without looking,
sending it to the person he wanted with perfect ease. San was also cool too, diving for balls
Taehyung thought were a lost cause.

The second set was won by their school once more. It went by faster, 25-20.

"Our team's a monster," Jin muttered, watching them change sides yet again. "Especially
Jeongguk. You think he's ever gonna burn out?"

"I honestly don't know," Hoseok said. "When we played together, the kid never admitted he
was tired. He played through the fatigue and exhaustion."

"That's worrying," Taehyung murmured, "so you're saying he doesn't know his limits?"
"Oh he knows them," The redhead said, gaze fixated on Jeongguk, who was ready to receive
the ball from the other team's first serve.

"But he chooses to ignore it."

Taehyung tried to not let that bother him because it was Jeongguk. He wasn't a total idiot, and
if he was tired, he knew Yugyeom and San would force him to the bench. Maybe even Jimin
if he thought he was being a big dumbass.

However, the idea nagged at the back of his mind while he watched this set. For some reason,
the atmospheres was way more intense, and he guessed the other team was stepping up their
game so they wouldn't lose.

"Are they getting tired yet?" Taehyung asked Hoseok, wincing when he saw a member on the
other team punching their thighs when they missed a receive opportunity.

"Fatigue should be catching up to them since they're playing so hard. They're evenly
matched, but our team is more consistent toward the end," Hoseok shrugged. "I dunno. Looks
like they're fine."

"You sure?" Taehyung asked, swallowing thickly when he saw Jeongguk was at the front
lines, glaring at the boy in front of him.

"Don't worry, Tae. This is probably the last set anyways, and we're done," Hodeok patted his
shoulder. "Jeongguk and the others will close it."

Hoseok was wrong.

They were neck and neck, and apparently the middle blockers on the other side have figured
out how to block the team's spikes. It was obvious Jimin was trying to disperse the hits
around the team, but he could see his frustration when all of them were shut out.

"What is he trying to do?" Jin asked, deflating when the other school blocked yet another
spike attempt, and it seemed that Jimin was ignoring Jeongguk's death stares.

"Trying to save Jeongguk's energy maybe?" Hoseok hummed, shrugging yet again. "Uh oh,
he's mad."

Taehyung watched as Jeongguk approached Jimin, and he couldn't quite see his face, but he
could tell he was yelling at him. Jimin, however, kept his expression calmed, unaffected even
while Jeongguk barked orders at him.

Yugyeom and San jogged up to them, and he even snorted a little watching Yugyeom smack
the back of Jeongguk's head. Jeongguk seemed to be piss, but he couldn't really tell since his
back was facing him.

Eventually, Jeongguk shook his head and went back to position when their coach stepped in
and yelled at them to get ready. They were at 22-22. Now wasn't the time to be arguing.
Taehyung shifted in his position, watching the match unfold before him once the referee blew
his whistle. All of them looked frustrated, even Jeongguk, who was breathing a bit too
heavily considering what set they were on.

He glanced over at Hoseok, opening his mouth to ask yet another question, but before he
could ease the worry in his chest, the slam of a ball being served snatched his attention.

He couldn't dare rip his eyes away from them. They all went back and forth, the rally existing
for what seemed like forever, neither team wanting to let the ball drop and lose such a crucial
point for a break.

The other team was getting frustrated, it was obvious when they received yet another one of
Jeongguk's spikes. They were pushed to edge, desperation burning in their eyes for the win.

They were at 23-24. Their school won the break.

One more point and it was over, Taehyung thought, drumming his fingers impatiently over
the banister as he watched the other team's player serve the ball. He didn't know why he was
suddenly holding his breath, hoping that this was it.

This was going to be their victory.

His lungs squeezed, watching San receive the ball, sending it up for Jimin to set toward
Jeongguk, who was waiting for the spike. He watched the ball, bouncing on the tips of his
toes, ready to start his approach once the ball came in contact with Jimin's fingers.

He was fast, cutting around his teammates to hit what seemed like a quick attack. Jimin's
fingers splayed out, setting the ball high for Jeongguk, who was already stepping into his
form.

Taehyung was focused on Jeongguk as he jumped into the air, form flawless, but what he
noticed, and so did Hoseok beside him as he stiffened, was that Jeongguk was close to the
net.

His only mistake. An amateur one, Taehyung knew. Jeongguk used to tell him only amateurs
made that mistake. But he supposed the exhaustion was so intense, he didn't realize it until
then.

"Fucking hell," Hoseok swore quietly, the moment seeming to have dragged as Jeongguk
hung in the air for what felt like fucking eternity.

And with all of his force, Jeongguk's palm collided with the ball, sending it spiraling to the
ground, securing the match point and leaving the other team wordless.

However, as the crowd cheered loudly, celebrating their victory and their progression toward
the finals, Taehyung wasn't jumping around like the others. He was frozen, wondering where
the fuck Jeongguk landed because he wasn't by the net.

Taehyung averted his stare at the net, spotting a member of the other team staring straight
ahead, expression hardened while his foot seemed to be a bit under, resting right where
Jeongguk would have landed.

No, no, no, Taehyung's breathing rapidly increased, panic wrapping around his throat,
suffocating as his eyes frantically darted around for Jeongguk. Fuck, where was he? Where
the fuck was he?

Jin, Jae, and Hoseok had stopped celebrating by his side realizing that Taehyung wasn't
joining them. All of them scanned the court, realizing their team wasn't jumping around
either.

"That was a dirty fucking play," Hoseok mumbled quietly, "A foot under the net is the
filthiest way to secure a win."

"What do you mean?" Jae asked Hoseok as Taehyung was practically falling apart,
wondering where the fuck Jeongguk landed.

"It's illegal for a reason, why you can't cross the net," Hoseok shook his head, bitterness
lacing his words. Taehyung cried out loud, finally finding Jeongguk, the boy was on all fours,
head hanging low on the sideline.

Fuck, no, Taehyung wanted to run down there when he saw Jeongguk wasn't moving, his
hand clutching his knee. No, no, no this couldn't be happening. San, Yugyeom, and Jimin ran
to his side, trying to see if he was okay.

Yugyeom was the first to crouch down, hand on Jeongguk's shoulder, about to whisper
something to him until—

Jeongguk cried out in pain, face contorted with such discomfort as he rolled onto his back,
knee curled in as he clutched it, wailing out in frustration. He threw his head back, hair
clinging to his forehead with all of his sweat, as he let out another strangled cry.

Medics were suddenly rushing onto the court, a team carrying a bright orange gurney.
Jeongguk's coach jogged over to where he was on the ground, free fist slamming onto the
ground repeatedly as he writhed around.

Taehyung couldn't watch, but at the same time, he couldn't rip his eyes away from Jeongguk.
It didn't feel real, watching him like this, struggling to deal with the pain in his swollen knee
he caught a glimpse of.

The medical team told everyone to back off and they did. He watched a white-clothed figure
kneel by his side and try to move his knee to stabilize it, only to silence the gym with a
blood-curling scream of agony.

"What happens if you cross the net?" Jae asked, voice muffled through the static in
Taehyung's ears as his heart fell out of his chest, bile rising in his throat.

This couldn't be happening. This had to be fake.

"That," Hoseok whispered gravely, features unreadable as Taehyung trembled beside him,
staring at the medics who helped lift Jeongguk's body onto the gurney.
"The worst injury in volleyball," He murmured, words Taehyung couldn't possibly register in
his mind. "To ever possibly exist."
 saying always & being okay
Chapter Notes

trigger ⚠ suicidal thoughts &

implications of an attempt

♡♡♡

"There's nothing to talk about," Jeongguk whispered softly, staring at the gray ceiling that
seemed to have become a routine since the last few days he had been at the hospital. It was
all he had now, anyways.

It had all been a blur, really. A dream that had become this inescapable nightmare that
seemed to have consumed him whole, and what escape he imagined practically impossible at
this point.

There was not much to say, except it happened. It happened, and here he was, lying down on
a hospital bed, surrounded by four, gray plaster walls, and his knee unrecognizable before
him.

Oh, and he surely didn't forget that his dreams were practically fucking destroyed.

Yes, he was devastated, yet he tried to focus on the pain medication making his head all fuzzy
because it was slightly more tolerable to ignore everything than face reality. Yes, he felt so
fucking numb he couldn't dare to move, for he was fragile enough to shatter with a blink of
an eye.

And yes, he knew damn well what this meant, how horrible it was, and the damage that
would continue to haunt him forever if this was the end.

He didn't need some doctor to tell him in terms he couldn't understand, or his family, who he
refused to see, soften their pitiful expressions and break it down to him like he was some
child that every single thing he ever worked for was shoved down the drain.

Jeongguk was aware, too painfully aware, that this happened, and there was no emotion, no
word, and no sensation to even start to describe how he felt.

Maybe call it emptiness. Call it devastation. Call it whatever the fuck you wanted to, but it
would never be enough.
He would never feel enough ever again.

"I'm not leaving this room until I know you're okay," Hyejung said, crossing her arms over
her chest. "I'm not gonna leave you, Gguk."

"You should though," He replied, licking his chapped lips, teeth grazing the cracked skin.
"M'not gonna do anything if that's what you're worried about."

"You think I'm here to make sure you won't kill yourself? Jeongguk, it's more than that. I'm
here because I know how bad it hurts," She countered.

"M'not here to pity you. M'not here to make you feel worse. M'here so you know that you
have someone."

Jeongguk swallowed dryly, the words he wanted to say dying in his throat, for they no longer
held any sort of meaning anymore so really, it was pointless to even speak. He grasped at the
sheets at his sides, fingers gripping them in tight bunches.

His sister said his name again, more meaningless words, but he managed to drown her out
with the static buzzing in his ears and let himself fall further into this void.

Every inch of him lost its purpose, he guessed. All his passion was cooped inside of him,
growing and thriving, but now, he was merely an empty vessel. His purpose gone like the rest
of his own feelings.

There wasn't a point to speak to anyone, or even see anyone the more he thought about it.
Hell, if his sister wasn't stubborn, he would have asked her to leave him alone like the others.

Existing was the least of his cares. He couldn't even bring himself to eat, to get up, or look at
the face of another when there was no reason to.

Every breath he took was labored, forced even, like he wanted to suffocate and wither away
until he matched the nothingness that devoured him.

Why continue if his body didn't have the strength to, was how it felt like. Why continue to
exist if there was no other purpose, when all you ever loved was stripped from you, and made
you realize your life was meant to be spent alone?

Maybe it would be like that for a while, who knew. He didn't know anything anymore.

"Are you even listening to me?" Hyejung asked, sighing. He heard her shift and wondered
how long she sat there but quickly lost interest. As per usual.

"Can you at least see your friends? They've been calling, wondering when they can see you,"
She said. At that, Jeongguk tensed.

"Yugyeom, San, and Jae are worried."

"I don't want to see them," He croaked, adam's apple bobbing in his throat.
"You need them right now. You need somebody. Even if it's not me, you need someone,"
Hyejung whispered, scooting forward in her chair, her fingers trying to reach Jeongguk's but
he quickly retracted his hand back.

"I don't need anyone," He said thickly, letting his eyelids fall shut, mind begging for sleep to
take over him so he could just forget for some time. "I'm fine."

"Gguk," She tried again, but of course, he shut her out. "You can't give up. This isn't the end
for you. If you fight—,"

"— There's no reason to fight," He interrupted her, jaw stiff, tight as his knuckles whitened at
his sides, the sheets nothing while he dug his fingers into his palm.

"I tore my fucking acl," Jeongguk murmured, "It is a major injury that requires months of
physical rehab, but even then, noona, it's no guarantee if I can play the same way. Hell, I'd be
lucky to even play after surgery."

"Don't say that," Hyejung started, suddenly cut off by dry, hollow laughter.

"Give it up already," Jeongguk snapped, shaking his head bitterly, eyes burning. "Just fucking
shut up and stop trying to say there's hope when there isn't any at all, alright?"

"I gave up. You should too."

"Don't say that," Hyejung stiffened.

"Why not? It's the truth," Jeongguk spat.

"You're not yourself right now," She whispered lowly, words trembling. Jeongguk scoffed,
finally whipped his head to the side, hands shaking, nails painfully digging into his skin.

Her face broke him: another blow to his already fragile heart. Prominent dark circles were
beneath her red rimmed eyes, her hair thrown into a careless ponytail with tendrils falling all
over her face. She hadn't changed since the tournament.

Bu the way she trembled, her lips folded into this strange frown, her own breathing unable to
keep up with her exhausted body, Jeongguk wanted nothing more but to take her pain, but at
the same time he couldn't bear it.

He couldn't look at her without breaking apart, the string inside of him already worn thin, on
the verge of snapping. Any second, he would fall apart, and he didn't want to. Fuck, he was
afraid what would happen if he did.

But he forced himself anyways. He forced himsef to meet her pained irises once before
tearing his gaze back to the blank wall ahead of him, teeth gritted.

Pathetic. That was what he was. So pathetic he that he wasn't strong enough. Fuck, he
just...wasn't strong enough.
"I don't even know who the fuck I am anymore, noona," Jeongguk murmured. "I don't have
volleyball anymore. I'm never around you guys. I let go of the only person that I
actually loved."

"So m'sorry if I don't sound like myself," He said, words trembling off his tongue, "I can't
help it."

"You'll find yourself again," Hyejung said softly.

"Don't start," He croaked, words welling up in his throat, building into this knot he couldn't
seem to untangle. "Just don't. There's nothing you can say that can possibly make me feel
better about this."

"Volleyball was my fucking everything and n-now, when I chose it, it left me. I-I thought,"
He inhaled shakily, voice cracking, the tears he desperately struggled to hold back fought
against him.

"I-I thought it'd never leave me, but it did. It l-left me noona."

"Jeongguk," She whispered, but the younger merely shook his head, pulling his blanket
higher over him, turning his head to the side to avoid looking at her while his body trembled.

"Leave me alone," Jeongguk said, firmly, attempting to mask the sobs caught in his throat,
not wanting to deal with this anymore.

"J-just please, go away. I want to be alone."

"Don't do this, Gguk I promise—,"

"—Fuck your promises," Jeongguk snapped, voice raising, wavering as the words slipped
past his lips. "Leave me the fuck alone. I-I don't want to repeat it again."

"A-Alright," Hyejung cleared her throat after some time. "If that's what you want."

Her voice cracked as Jeongguk desperately forced out a hoarse please. He heard her chair
screech against the linoleum, her foot steps heavy as they receded toward the door.

Jeongguk couldn't bring himself to say a word, or rather, even spare her a glance as the
handle clicked open. He could, however, feel her eyes land on him, studying him closely,
worry obvious in her stare, but he did nothing. He tensed, holding his breath until she finally
left.

And the second she was gone, he broke, letting himself slip up and allow the tears he tried so
hard to hold back finally fall.

But he didn't make a sound— he didn't have the energy, the capacity to even make a noise.
Instead, his shoulders shook, his hand covering his face as he muffled every sniffle behind his
palm, tears staining his cheeks.
With every muted cry, he broke apart, strangled, letting himself be devoured alive piece by
piece until he no longer knew who he was.

There was no purpose. No meaning. No reason to even try anymore as he cried, too weak, too
tired to pick up the pieces by himself.

For the first time in his life, Jeon Jeongguk simply gave up.

♡♡♡
 ♡♡♡

"Jeongguk~," He whipped his head toward the door, hands resting over his stomach as he
saw his sister by the door, an unusual smile splayed wide over her lips.

"Didn't I tell you I want to be alone," Jeongguk said, pressing his lips together into a tight
line, averting his gaze back to the ceiling, guessing it was his only company that didn't give
him the urge to vomit.

"Yes, but you're having your acl surgery today," She said, "and I don't want you to be alone."

"Well you've left me alone for years," Jeongguk spat bitterly, crossing his arms, fingers
digging into his skin through his sleeves. He couldn't see her face, but he could tell her smile
disappeared.

"Can we not fight? I want to be here for you," Hyejung murmured, and god, she had an awful
a lot of patience to deal with him.

Of all people, he thought she would understand him. She injured her knee years ago, having
been stripped of volleyball and all the dreams she spent most of her life creating in her head.
All that time ago, she was the one in the bed, suffering and wanting to be alone with nothing
but the fucking pain poisoning her every thought.

And Jeongguk left her alone. He lost his sister for awhile, and though he knew she
remembered it and even pledged to be there for him after, he still didn't want her there.

It had been three years after her injury that made her come back to him. He didn't have a
fucking sister for three years.

So, she should have known why he didnt want anyone to be with him. Why couldn't she
understand that?

Why couldn't she understand that if he saw her face, his stomach twisted into knots and
nausea would crash over him wave after wave, the vomit bitter in his throat as it rose into his
mouth?

Why couldn't she understand that if he was alone, it was tolerable? There wasn't any pitiful
faces, or concerned stares, and the four gray walls around him didn't vividly remind him of
the night he lost it all.

Why couldn't she understand that seeing all of them was killing him?

It was so much easier to be alone, even if being alone slowly drove him crazy and left him to
suffocate in his own pain, it was easier.

"Please. You would want to see this," Hyejung whispered. He didn't look at her, instead,
falling silent, teeth gnawing on his lip.

Jeongguk's chest rose and fell unevenly, his fingers beginning to tremble, but he tried to keep
calm, to hold what was left of him together. He supposed his sister must of left when he was
met with nothing, and he guessed it eased him somewhat.

So, he returned his gaze back to the wall ahead of him, stomach dropping realizing Hyejung
did leave. Fuck, he shouldn't feel this way— he wanted her gone, far from him so he wouldn't
feel so goddamn strangled.

But the second he averted his attention toward the door, it swung open. His expression
immediately hardened the moment he saw Yugyeom's smile.

"Hey Jeongguk," Yugyeom whispered, shuffling into his room with Jae and San behind them.
He tensed, nails digging crevices into his skin, jaw clenched so hard he could feel his teeth
grinding.

"How are you?" San was the second to speak soft, voice equally soft. They surrounded his
bed, giving him the same gentle smiles that only made his hands tremble, knuckles white.

"It's nice to see you after a while, Gguk," Yugyeom tried again, clearing his throat as
Jeongguk stared down at his lap, mouth suddenly dry, heart squeezing in his chest.

"We heard you're having surgery," San murmured. "So we came here, to be with you."

"Everyone misses you," Yugyeom added, "and we do too. A lot. We just want you to be
okay." Jeongguk swallowed, struggling to push the lump down his throat, for it felt like a
rock digging in his neck.

"We know this situation wasn't quite expected, but we want you to know we're here for you,"
It was Jae who finally spoke, but even Jeongguk couldn't focus on him over the static buzzing
in his ears.

"We'll be there." And that was when he began to break.

"G-Get out," Jeongguk twisted his head to the side, pressing his eyes shut, hands running up
and down his arms. "Please," he croaked, "get out."

"Jeongguk, you shouldn't be alone," San began, but Jeongguk cut him off, scoffing loudly and
shaking his head, chin trembling.
"Get the fuck out," Jeongguk repeated, bringing his hands to cover his face, lips parting and
letting out a shaky exhale, his chest constricting. "Leave."

"Jeongguk—," Jae murmured, but he just wasn't having it. He couldn't do this anymore. They
just reminded him too much... looking at them hurt.

"I don't want any of you here," He snapped, voice wavering, cracking at the edges as he
forced them out. "So please, get the fuck out. I don't want to see any of your fucking faces."

"Leave me the fuck alone!"

"We're your friends," Yugyeom whispered. At that, Jeongguk forced out a laugh.

"And if you were truly friends, you'd understand that seeing all of your faces makes me want
to fucking kill myself," Jeongguk spat, letting his hands fall back to his sides, brows
scrunched as his eyes squeezed shut.

"I don't want you here," He seethed, words soft on his tongue, pain lacing through every
vowel. "I want to be alone. I need to be alone."

"So why the fuck can't you get that?" He whispered, voice breaking. "I can't look at you
without seeing that night. So please." He begged.

"Do me a favor and get the fuck out."

All of them were stunned, neither one able to find the words. Jeongguk's teeth gritted
together, forcing the sobs building up his throat to go back down; he couldn't cry in front of
them.

But without another sound, Yugyeom, San, and Jae filed out, just like he wanted. He didn't
open his eyes until they were gone, and when he knew it was okay, he shattered, lips
quivering, breath struggling to leave his mouth as a sob strangled him.

Jeongguk shoved his fingers through his hair, tugging at every matted tangle, shaking
violently. He teeth clenched tight as he ran his hands down his face, tears prickling at his
eyes, betraying him as they fell.

He couldn't do this.

He thought he could. He thought he could be here after it all. Jeongguk tried so goddamn
hard to convince himself he couldn't breathe knowing he lost volleyball. That he could still
exist in a world without the one thing he swore would be there forever.

But he couldn't. It was hard. He couldn't breathe, feeling suffocated every second, for his
lungs seemed to reject the air filling into them as if it was poison.

Even lying in that bed was painful. It was tolerable, sure, but every second he spent, he
wanted nothing more but to close his eyes and hope that it was the end. If volleyball left his
world, he could leave his, right?
Jeongguk didn't want that though.

He wanted to be able to breathe, to exist, to be happy again. He wanted it to be easy again, to

live without having to pick apart every situation and be swallowed up by pain medication
couldn't take away.

He wanted to wake up like he used to all that time ago, looking forward to his day and being
glad he had another chance to live. Fuck, of all times, he had to remember the happiest times
of his life where he had everything he ever wanted.

And now, he had nothing. People tried to remind him that he did, but he knew, deep down, he
lost it all.

He lost his life line and the reason that made life worth living.

There wasn't anything left to convince him, and this pain, god, he wanted it to fucking end.
He didn't want it anymore. It hurt, and it shredded him to pieces of himself that he couldn't
recognize, and with every dose of pain medication, it only worsened.

He didn't know how else to make the suffering stop. He wanted it all to just stop, and maybe
then it would be easier. Maybe he would be at peace, but at the same time, it
fucking terrified him.

Jeongguk didn't want to die, but if so, why was it lingering in the back of his mind? Why was
it a fucking option if he didn't want it?

Was it his mind telling him this was the only way out? The only way to solve all this pain?

When Hyejung came into the room, it was silent.

"Hey, I'm sorry, I know— oh my god," A screamed ripped through Hyejung's throat. She
broke down, shouting for a nurse before running to her brother's side, yelling out his name.

"Don't do this to me," Hyejung sobbed, trying to stop it as her vision blurred, every sob
shredding her throat as she caved over him. "Don't do this. This isn't h-happening right now."

"Jeongguk," She shouted again, patting his cheek, trying to get him to wake up as his head
lolled to the side. "Someone, fucking help him!" She called over her shoulder, unable to see
through her tears.

"Don't fucking die on me, Jeongguk," She pressed her face into the side of his neck, oblivious
to the nurses rushing into the room, her entire body violently shaking.

"Please, Jeongguk, you're my only brother," She wailed, cupping her hand over his cheek, not
caring that it was all over her, or the fact a nurse was trying to pull her away, telling her she
needed to leave.

"D-Don't leave. You can't. Please."

 ♡♡♡

Taehyung was running.

He couldn't remember what happened, except that he had to go, fast. He was working,
tutoring some kids in the library with Seokjin to get some extra service hours in until he got a
phone call.

He usually didn't accept phone calls, but when he checked his phone, seeing Hyejung's name
flashing over the screen, he couldn't just ignore it. One look from Seokjin, he knew he had to
take it.

So, he excused himself from the student and wandered over to the bookshelf, staring directly
at Jin, who had stopped to focus on him while his kid solved a math problem. Taehyung
didn't know what to expect, or really what to feel.

When Hyejung's voice erupted from the speaker, frenzied and manic, his brows drew together
as he told her to calm down. But she couldn't, that was what she said.

He vaguely remembered asking why, only to be met by a sob. Eventually, after letting her
calm down on the otherside, she told him what happened.

And he supposed that was where his world stopped.

Jeongguk tried to kill himself.

He left Jin, muttering a string of those words to him as panic and fear filled his throat,
strangling him as he stumbled over his feet trying to gather his stuff and get out of there as
fast as possible.

I left him in the room, and when I came back, it was bad. Really bad.

He got into his car, trying not to speed, or rather die from some dumb car accident on the
fucking freeway trying to reach Jeongguk. God, he needed to see him, needed to make sure
he was okay because Hyejung couldn't find out just yet.

Taehyung guessed he arrived at the hospital in record speed, even after cussing out the
drivers in front of him, hands frantically carding through his hair. When he managed to park,
he practically ran out of his car, sprinting to the main hospital.

He was running, for the place was massive, and he didn't know his way around it. So he
scanned the crowd, trying not to collapse right then and there. All that mattered was reaching
Jeongguk.
He needed to see him. He had to be alive.

When he found Hyejung, he still couldn't breathe— he didn't know how to. It was like he
forgot, the only thing that allowed him to function was knowing that Jeongguk could be dead,
and god, he did not want to think that.

She was sitting in the reception area, waiting for him. It wasn't too hard to spot her. All the
people there were giving her looks as she paced back and forth, crimson-covered hands over
the bottom half of her face, muffling her sobs.

When she glanced up at him, arms falling back to her side, Taehyung was stunned, breath
hitched, not a single emotion processing in his mind seeing her disheveled hair and blood
stained clothes.

Was that... his blood? His stomach dropped, bile rising up his throat.

"Taehyung," Their bodies collided together, her arms wrapping around his neck as she sobbed
into his shoulder. "I-I left him for a second, and I-I was gonna apologize, b-but—,"

"It's okay," Taehyung whispered softly, arms absentmindedly wrapping around her, letting her
body tremble against his, trying not to think about Jeongguk's blood getting on his uniform.

"—I-It was everywhere," Hyejung sputtered, shaking her head. "I-I should have known. I c-
could have stopped him."

"Where is he right now?" He asked, voice void of any feeling. He was too numb, everything
unable to settle right away, for it was too much for him to properly comprehend.

"They brought him to the psych ward. He's g-going to stay there for an additional week to be
monitored and get his blood levels back up for his surgery," Hyejung sniffled, pulling away,
rubbing the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand.

"Oh god, I'm sorry. You have his blood," She whispered, staring at his chest. He glanced
down to where she was pointing, and there, on his white button up, was blood. A lot of it.

"S'okay," were the only words he could muster. She nodded meekly, trying to get off
Jeongguk's blood by wiping them over her already bloodied blouse. So much fucking blood.

"Maybe you should go clean up," Taehyung said softly, placing his hand on his shoulder. "A
lot of people are staring, and there's a good chance we won't be able to see him for a bit."

"I know," Hyejung murmured, her voice detached from her usual self. "I-I have a spare shirt
in my car."

"Sounds like a plan," Taehyung nodded. Hyejung got the idea, mumbled something about
coming back, and walked off toward the exit to go clean herself up, leaving him alone.

It wasn't long, however, until somebody tapped his shoulder, and there were Yugyeom, San,
and Jae, all of their expressions hard and unreadable probably like his own. Perhaps even
stunned.
"You must of heard, huh," Yugyeom was the first to speak, but he did so quietly, as if the
situation stripped him of his usual volume. He nodded.

"We were just there," San whispered, fidgeting with his hands over his lap. "He was so angry
with us, and we left him to give him some space. M-maybe we should have stayed."

"It would have pissed him off more," Jae told his cousin, staring down at the ground, refusing
to meet anyone of their gazes. "We did what we had to. We couldn't have known."

"It was unexpected," Yugyeom murmured, getting a few nods from the others. "But it
happened. Is he okay?" They all looked up at him, all desperate for an answer.

"He's staying in the psych ward for a whole week to be monitored," Taehyung told them, still
unable to really grasp a grip of himself, for he felt like he was floating.

"We probably can't see him until then." He swallowed, his heart dully aching. Neither one of
them spoke, a kind of heavy silence enveloping the four of them. There was nothing to say.

That was, until Taehyung cleared his throat and said, "Was he really struggling that much?"

"He wasn't in a good place when we saw him," Jae said after some time. Taehyung barely
nodded his head, the reality of the situation suddenly sinking in, leaving his body frigid,
empty.

"It makes sense, though," Jae added in a whisper. "He lost volleyball."

"His life," Taehyung filled in for him, knowing the truth as much as he did, "entirely revolved
around volleyball."

Yugyeom sniffled, whipping his head to the side. He glanced over at him, noticing the tears
prickle at his eyes and roll down his cheeks. He tried to get them to stop, but he couldn't, his
clenched jaw quivering.

San leaned against Yugyeom's shoulder, wrapping his arms around him, staring blankly at the
ground, tears of his own glossing over his eyes.

Yugyeom turned around, having to arch over as they held one another. Jae, on the otherhand,
remained silent, expression as hollow as he probably felt.

Taehyung didn't know what to feel, but he guessed he was crying. His face was wet, and his
heart was constricted, squeezing tight in his chest. It hurt, aching only faintly even though he
swore he was being stabbed multiple times.

However, it was the kind of pain that was too much to truly register, only to be fully felt
when it settled in hours later in the darkness of his dorm.

When Hyejung came back, she was cleaner. There wasn't a single trace of blood on her, and
her shirt was replaced for a black blouse. Her eyes were rimmed red, and occasionally she'd
sniffle, but it seemed she had news.
They all looked up, waiting patiently for an answer, for some closure they all wanted. The
good kind, hopefully.

"He's stable," Hyejung breathed out, "and it's only family who can see him. You guys can't
for a week."

"That's okay," Jae seemed to be the one who spoke for the others. "We'll get going then.
Jeongguk needs to get some rest."

"I'll call all of you when you can come by," She waved half-heartedly as Jae, San, and
Yugyeom sulked toward the exit, their shoulders still slumped, carrying the weight of this
day.

Eventually, it left behind Taehyung and Hyejung, and he supposed he should get going too.
He wiped away at his tears, breathing out shakily, but before he could leave, Hyejung
grabbed his wrist.

"I entered you as a family member," Hyejung said softly. "You can go see him. You're like
family to us anyways." At that, Taehyung's heart swelled but not in the way it should have
been.

"Do you wanna come with me to see him?" She asked, loosening her grip around his wrist.
"He's sedated, I think. We don't know when he'll wake up."

"Sure," Taehyung murmured, nodding weakly. It was then, did he begin to suffocate within
his own body, but he tried to ignore it.

He took Hyejung's hand in his, giving her an assuring squeeze, and together, they walked to
the elevators.

The psychiatric ward was on the otherside of the hospital, making it quite the walk to reach
where they wanted to go. Nobody said a word, which he was grateful for, because he wasn't
sure if he could properly talk without breaking down.

God, he just couldn't comprehend that this really happened. He was still stunned, not even
sure if he was actually walking but floating right now. Floating on a fucking cloud void of
any emotions. That was how it felt.

When they got on the elevator and to the psych floor, their hands were still intertwined as
though they were supporting one another. He was thankful they held onto each other— it
made things easier as it could possibly be.

Hyejung had to let go, and he swore he couldn't breathe when she did, but he told himself to
get a grip of himself. All she was doing was signing them in, and once she was done, she
handed him a visitor sticker and off they went.

The psych ward wasn't as scary as he imagined it to be. It was like the rest of the hospital,
filled with the same beep of machines and the occasional person walking around, doing
rounds.
Taehyung wasn't sure why he was afraid to come here. Nothing was out of the ordinary. It
was filled with people who needed help like the others. There wasn't anything wrong with
being in the psych ward.

Jeongguk's room was at the end of a hallway. When Hyejung talked to the doctor for some
time, and once it was over, she gestured him inside.

It was dark, for the windows were covered by thick curtains. There were a few potted plants,
and some paintings, he supposed, were to help calm patients down. They stopped, however,
by the front of the room, both of them too stunned to believe it was Jeongguk in front of
them.

After gathering the courage to walk up to him, he joined his side on the opposite end,
approaching him slowly, fearing he'd wake him up even though he was sedated.

Fuck, he was just so peaceful. It was too artifical, unreal. There was no crease between his
brows like he remembered, no occasional twitch of his lips that looked like a smile. His face
was at ease, albeit pale and his eyes were dark and hollowed— even though they were shut.

Taehyung ran his fingers over the bedside, trying to get himself to believe that this was
Jeongguk lying in this bed. This pale, vulnerable body was the boy he still loved. There was
nothing different about him, except that he was hurting. A lot.

His breath hitched seeing the thick bandages around both of his wrists, the faintest stain of
blood on them. Taehyung ripped his gaze away from them, feeling his heart surge.

"Is your family coming?" Taehyung asked to quickly move on, watching as Hyejung covered
her mouth, stiffling the sob she nearly let out seeing him like this.

"They're on their way. My dad will him later. He has the girls, and we don't want them seeing
him like this," Hyejung explained. "It'd be too much for them."

"I understand," He whispered. He watched as Hyejung slowly got onto the bed, staring
directly at her brother's face as she curled up into his side.

She rested her head on his pillow, hand reaching out to take his in her own and entangling
their fingers together. She glanced up at Taehyung, who was idle by the sides, not wanting to
be intrude. But she gave him a nod, encouraging him to lie down.

So he did, getting on the bed on Jeongguk's other side. He was careful not to hurt him, and
when he did fit himself in the slot beside him, it was then did he start to really cry. He sniffed
softly, hesitatant to grab and hold onto his hand.

God, he didn't know what to do, or how to really feel.

He rested there, on his side, staring at Jeongguk's side profile. Hyejung's eyes were squeezed
shut, her brows knitted together as she seemed to focus on Jeongguk's breathing, the only
evidence that he was truly alive and right there with them.
They stayed like this, unmoving, trying to silent their own breathing to focus on Jeongguk's
shallow ones. Taehyung didn't know what else to do when seeing Jeongguk like this rendered
him stunned.

"When I injured myself, I never considered this."

Hyejung whispered after an hour of lying in silence. Taehyung glanced over at her, seeing her
eyes were opened, her other hand reaching over to stroke her brother's cheek.

"To be honest, the only reason I was so closed off was because I was afraid to disappoint my
family. I didn't have any direction. I wasn't even planning to go to college," Hyejung
murmured.

"And so, when I got hurt, I ignored everyone, even my brother for three years to figure out
my life after volleyball," She admitted truthfully.

"But for Gguk, he never imagined a life after it. I can see why he did it. He must have felt
so... alone, and I wasn't approaching him right," Her voice broke as she squeezed her
brother's hand.

"This wasn't your fault," Taehyung said, "This is nobody's fault." Hyejung shook her head,
biting at her lip.

"I know. If he felt like this was the only way out at the moment, I couldn't judge him, but I
wish he didn't do it," Hyejung whispered. "I saw him grow up. I don't want to see him die."

"Me either," He agreed, leaning into the pillow, sucking in a shaky breath as his shoulder
lightly bumped into Jeongguk's. "But he's okay now."

"For now," Hyejung said, "but he needs somebody. I don't think I can be that person for him,
Tae."

"What do you mean?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at her. "You're his sister."

"And there's only so much he'd let his sister know," Hyejung whispered back. "Jeongguk
needs somebody, and I think that person should be you."

"Hyejung-ssi, you know we broke up," Taehyung said, trying to roll onto his back as he
stared up at the ceiling, swallowing.

"I can't be that person for him anymore." We used to be each other's person, he bit his inner
cheek.

"Jeongguk's friends told me about what happened ," Hyejung said. "The two of you were in
the wrong, but Tae, it was one big misunderstanding that needs one long conversation."

"Sure, you hurt one another, but you also need closure to heal."

"You don't have to be boyfriends right away, or have some sudden epiphany. You're both
young and new to relationships. Of course you're gonna fuck up," She whispered, noticing
him shift uneasily on his side.

"M'not trying to force you to talk to him. You can leave before he wakes up. You don't even
have to be his person. But I want you to know that Jeongguk was the happiest with you,"
Hyejung murmured.

"He was?" Taehyung asked, a knot raveling in his throat. Hyejung nodded.

"He loved you and took you more seriously than anything else."

He glanced over at Jeongguk between them, chest tight, suddenly being flooded with the
memories of being this close to him in the darkness of their dorm, holding onto one another
as they traced each other's features and shared shitty jokes.

Taehyung would be lying if he said he didn't miss him. He spent so much time with him, not
even realizing how Jeongguk had woven into every second of his day until he lost him.

He missed his bunny-toothed smile, and his stupid jokes that ended with the cutest of laughs.
He missed the way his hand fit perfectly into his, the callouses of his own rough against his
soft palm. All of his stories, his passions, and the way a whole universe existed in his eyes—
that was Jeongguk.

Sure, he made a whole new routine without him, but in the back of his mind, it would never
be the same. There wasn't a Jeongguk by his side to tell him what was on his mind, or to
share their food, or to study together.

He thought they didn't know how to be friends, so it made sense if they weren't anything after
the break up.

He looked back at it, seeing all the questionable things they did, and he did truly believe that
maybe they weren't really friends— just people who happened to be around one another and
share benefits.

But it was all a delusion. They were the best of friends.

They spent every waking second together, whether it be clowning Jeongguk for his cereal
obsession, going to every class with a new story to tell, remembering the little details about
each other, and trying new things together.

Even if they couldn't ever be the same, Taehyung admitted that he was the happiest around
Jeongguk. He made his day with just his presence. Together, he never felt alone. Jeongguk
just made sense.

Jeongguk was his best friend. He was his always, his other half, and his person.

And Taehyung was so fucking madly in love with him, he wasn't ever going to lose him
again.

The two of them fell silent, neither one saying a word as time seemed to pass by with
Jeongguk sleeping peacefully between them. It was a different kind. The type where it wasn't
tense but the three of them were simply content, at ease for once.

Jeongguk was okay. That was all that mattered.

Eventually, Hyejung told him she had to get up two hours later. She mentioned something
about getting food and water for them, and with a nod of his head, Taehyung watched as she
dragged her feet out of the room.

Once she shut the door, it was just the two of them again.

He exhaled softly, twisting onto his side to get a better look of Jeongguk now that his sister
wasn't here. His hair was a bit longer, the strands falling into curls right above his cheekbone.

Taehyung almost reached out, fingers splayed to touch his cheek, to feel his presence as if to
make sure he was truly real. He bit down on his lip, hesitating, but he supposed it wouldn't
hurt if he was sedated, right?

His heart squeezed in the cavern of his chest while he brushed his fingers over the soft skin of
his cheek. Taehyung gulped, head suddenly spinning, hand retreating back as if he touched a
flame.

It had been so long. It had been so fucking long, and my god, he didn't how to feel. He held
his breath, lips curving into the smallest of grins as he gathered the courage to run his thumb
over his cheek.

"Hi there," Taehyung started, voice wobbly, hand trembling. "It's been awhile. It's your
Taehyung."

His smile faltered, the tears that had stopped ages ago returning, prickling, stinging at his
eyes as he let out yet another pained exhale. He reached over, brushing Jeongguk's hair
behind his ear.

"I missed you a lot," Taehyung whispered, stroking the back of his fingers up and down the
side of his face. "I miss you every single day."

"And," He inhaled sharply, hand freezing before cupping the entirety of his cheek, thumb
caressing the bone.

"I'm so sorry, my love."

Taehyung leaned forward, pressing his forehead into the side of Jeongguk's head, trying to
inhale his familiar scent. God, it felt like returning home after being away from it for so long.
Who knew it would still feel like this as he shifted closer, body molding into his.

"I'm so sorry for being an idiot," He whispered over the tears, a thick lump forming in his
throat. "I hurt you. I told you I never would, and I did."

"I never meant to hurt you. I was being stupid and petty and irritating. You didn't deserve
that," He murmured, gently squeezing his cheek. "If you had to choose volleyball over me, I'd
be so happy for you, Gguk. I'd be the happiest."
"So please, hang on. I want to see you happy again," Taehyung sniffled, vision blurred as he
stared down at the sleeping boy. "Please, if it's hurting tell me."

He grabbed his hand, entangling their fingers together. Taehyung forced his lips into a smile,
trying hard not to break apart, to lose it all right then and there because he had everything.
His everything was still right in front of him.

"Don't do this again, okay?" He cried, smile falling apart. "You have so much more to live
for, but if you really want to leave us early, I don't blame you. But if it hurts, tell someone,
okay?"

"If it hurts, I'll do whatever to make it feel better. I'm not gonna leave you even if you choose
to l-leave me," Taehyung hung his head, tears falling from his eyes, squeezing his hand.

"I told you always, remember? You are my always."

"You, Jeon Jeongguk, are my always," Taehyung repeated, shaking his head as his tears
slipped from his chin and onto Jeongguk's cheek.

"And," He whispered shakily, untangling their hands to swipe at the tears off Jeongguk's
cheek. "I love you. I've loved you ever since the day at the train station. When you kissed me
goodbye and gave me your scarf, which I still have, I loved you when you got on that
damned train."

"I will love you, whether you choose to stay or leave, okay? You don't have to make the
decision now, but know I'll love you and accept whatever you choose to do," Taehyung
leaned forward, kissing his forehead.

"Taehyung?"

He pulled away, eyes widening seeing the younger stir below him. Taehyung's eyebrows
scrunched together, lips trembling, chin quivering as he let out a sniffle in between his tears.

Jeongguk's brows drew together but eventually, his eyes peeled open, those big, doe eyes of
his staring right back at his own. Taehyung crumbled seeing they were empty, not a single
star in existence.

"I-I'm sorry," Jeongguk started, voice weak, barely audible. He shook his head, gently
squeezing his cheek, watching as the younger leaned into it.

"Don't be," Taehyung whispered, "You were hurting. You don't have to apologize for that,
alright?"

"I'm sorry," Jeongguk repeated. The older leaned forward, pressing their foreheads against
one another's, exhaling shakily as he felt Jeongguk's hand rest on his hip.

"I heard it all."

"You did?" Taehyung asked, face warming up, pulling back to get a better look at his
beautiful face.
Jeongguk nodded, wincing slightly. Worry flooded Taehyung's features, but the younger
patted his hip, assuring it was fine.

"I did," He whispered, staring up at him. "I'm sorry I was an idiot. I'm such a fucking idiot."

"We're both idiots," Taehyung chuckled softly, the smile he wore barely able to hold. "But it's
okay. We know better. Are you okay, though?"

"Wrists hurt. Feel a bit loopy," Jeongguk muttered, only to be met with a kiss on the forehead
from the older. Taehyung snuggled up closer to him, letting go of his face to curl his arm
around his shoulders.

"I missed you Tae," Jeongguk whispered, "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too," Taehyung said, resting his head in the crook of Jeongguk's neck. "I'm
glad you're awake."

"Me too," The younger admitted, draping his arm over Taehyung, leaning his cheek on the
top of his pillowy black locks.

"Honestly, I thought I was dead when I heard you. I couldn't believe it. Thought I was hearing
angels."

"It's all real," Taehyung sighed, hand now resting over his chest, feeling content at the beat of
his heart right beneath his finger tips. He was alive, god, he was really alive.

"I know," Jeongguk said. Taehyung craned his head up, smiling faintly as the younger looked
down at him. "I know it is because you're all warm."

"I am?" Taehyung asked, raising an eyebrow at him. Jeongguk nodded.

"And also because I can talk to you," Jeongguk grinned a little. Although it was a smile, and
he swore it could have been a wince, it was positive.

"You don't have to right now. You should be resting," Taehyung said, running his hand down
his chest. "It's been a long day."

"I need to tell you something though," Jeongguk murmured, voice still a little rasped. It was
deeper than usual, probably from the sedative.

"It can wait," Taehyung said, gently flicking his chin. "Go to sleep." Jeongguk shook his
head. "Don't be hard headed. Sleep, you went through—,"

"— Don't leave me."

Taehyung's heart stopped. He studied the younger's features closer, wondering if he was
hearing things right, but he wasn't. Jeongguk slowly lifted his hand up, wincing slightly, but
he wasn't content until his palm cupped Taehyung's cheek.
"Don't leave, please. It hurts less when you're here," He whispered softly, thumb running over
the edge of his lip. "Please stay."

"Alright," Taehyung said without much thought. "I'll stay," He repeated, relaxing in
Jeongguk's arms, remembering the familiar feeling of being this close to him.

"I'll be okay, right Tae?" Jeongguk asked, and god, his expression was so broken, like a little
child's. It made Taehyung's heart rise into his throat seeing him this pained, and all he wanted
to do was take it away.

"You'll be okay," Taehyung assured him, placing his own hand over his. "You'll be okay."

"I'll be okay," Jeongguk repeatedly his words softly, eyes slowly falling shut as his hand went
limp. The older carefully lowered it back down, their now intertwined fingers resting on his
chest.

"Yes you will," Taehyung said, feeling the younger's breathing shallow, exhaustion taking
him back once more. Their bodies fit perfectly together as he pressed into him, exhaling in
content.

"Will we be okay?" Jeongguk asked groggily, half asleep. Taehyung gently squeezed his
hand, bringing his knuckles to his lips, brushing his lips over it into the softest of kisses.

"We will," He promised, meaning every single word as Jeongguk fell asleep. Taehyung
kissed his knuckles again, running his thumb over them.

"We will be okay," He said, again, and this time, he believed it. He truly did.
 saying always & being okay

♡♡♡

Taehyung never once left his side.

It had been a thing for the two of them, visiting Jeongguk right after school. After the
younger asked him to never leave his side that day, he possibly couldn't. There was no way
he was going to lose him.

So, they spent every chance they could.

While he was at school, Jeongguk's family visited in the mornings. From what he heard, he
met up with his aunt already, and after some crying on both of their ends and a long
conversation, Jeongguk assured him things were going to be okay for him.

He hadn't seen his mom or his sisters— he wanted to when he wasn't in the psych ward, and
his mother simply wasn't in the condition yet to travel so far.

His father dropped by, but Jeongguk didn't mention much about what they discussed, or
rather, he didn't tell Taehyung anything except they talked.

He wasn't going to push him though: he would tell him when he was ready for it.
However, he seemed to look a bit at ease, like some burden was lifted from his shoulders. He
wasn't back to smiling and laughing yet, but his doctor explained he was most likely drained,
so Taehyung would have to be careful to not push him to his limit.

He didn't mind it though. Some days, Jeongguk would have the energy to be pushed on a
wheelchair around the floor for an afternoon walk. Others, he was content with reading
books, doing puzzles, and watching animes.

But of course, there were bad days along with the good.

Sometimes he refused to talk to Taehyung after a physical therapy session, too consumed by
pain to even talk, and all Taehyung would do was lie on his bed and cuddle him close as he
cried himself to sleep on his shoulder, rubbing his hand up and down his back and reminding
him how strong he was.

On the worst of days, Jeongguk simply wasn't in the mood for visitors. Taehyung didn't leave,
though. He sat outside his room, doing his homework until he knew Jeongguk was safe
asleep.

Taehyung prefered not to dwell on those days.

He knew they were inevitable even though it pained him to see his Jeongguk so broken. It
was going to be difficult, he knew it, especially when that darkness took over, and he could
barely recognize the boy before him.

Jeongguk rarely smiled, laughed. Sometimes he didn't even talk or eat, and the stars, all the
pretty galaxies, in his eyes were gone, and he wasn't so sure if they would ever return.

But he was determined, determined to make him happy again, to at least bring a hint of a
smile on his lips despite the pain, to see even the tiniest speck of a star in his eyes.
It wasn't impossible, and they had all the time on their hands— they were doing this
together.

Eventually, the week in the psychiatry ward passed, and he was able to go back to his main
room to continue to rest up.

It had been two weeks since then, and Taehyung had to switch shifts with Hyejung, his aunt,
and his dad, but he didn't mind being the last person to see Jeongguk.

It was nice seeing him at the end of his day— it made getting through it worth every second,
and luckily today, Jeongguk was in a good mood. So, as per usual, he curled by his side,
entangling him into his arms, and together they watched Haikyuu, bodies fitting perfectly like
they were meant to be one.

"You wanna hear a joke?" Taehyung asked, running his fingers through Jeongguk's hair, head
leaning against his as the two of them were watching anime on his phone.

"Do I really want to?" Jeongguk asked, tilting his head up, nose crinkling. Taehyung snorted.

"I mean," The older said, twirling the long black strands around his finger. "They're really
good jokes."

"From what I remember, all your jokes are bad," Jeongguk grumbled. Taehyung scoffed,
pretending to be offended as he lightly smacked Jeongguk's head.

"Rude," Taehyung leaned back, getting a better look at his face. "You love my jokes." He
said, pinching his ear, only to get swatted by the younger.

His nurses recently told him he was sleeping more, the nights he spent sobbing were
dwindling lately. He could tell— the dark circles around his eyes were beginning to fade and
were less puffy this morning. Plus, he wasn't complaining of a headache.
"So can I tell you a joke?" He asked again, carding his fingers through his hair, massaging at
the side of his head, smiling at the way Jeongguk's head lolled into the crook of Tae's neck.

"Fine, only because it's you," Jeongguk gave in, sighing. Taehyung grinned, sitting up and
putting his phone on the side table.

"What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?"

"Oh I wonder," The younger said sarcastically, snorting softly. Taehyung's heart lurched, his
lips widening at the familiar sound.

"A can't opener," He declared proudly, only to be met with an eye-roll. Taehyung couldn't
help but snicker, getting nudged in the stomach.

"You are horrible," Jeongguk said, threw his head back, staring up at him, his doe eyes
softening.

"I don't know how I stand you."

"You love me," Taehyung whispered, fingers trailing down the side of his jaw, faintly
caressing the skin. Neither one of them said a thing, his gaze fixating on his own.

"Anyways," He cleared his throat, realizing they were staring at one another for too long, and
if he didn't look away, he would notice the blush creeping over his cheeks. "You like the
episode?"

"I do," Jeongguk murmured quietly. He felt his eyes linger on him, but Taehyung refused to
meet his gaze, teeth gnawing at his bottom lip.
"I thought I'd be pissed, honestly, watching them play against Shiratorizawa. But when I
watch them, I guess I'm... happy?"

"You're happy?" His head whipped toward him, and god, his chest clenched seeing the way
Jeongguk was staring at the screen, longingly.

"Yeah? I don't know. I don't feel like shit," He said, shrugging a little. "I miss it. Watching
them. I miss the game, and it hurts, yeah, but— I-I don't know."

"It's okay not to know," Taehyung murmured, propping himself up on his pillow. Jeongguk
glanced at him, the skin between his brows scrunched together.

"I don't know a lot of things lately," Jeongguk said, honesty burning in his dark irises as he
averted his stare to his lap, fidgeting his fingers around.

"It's all happening so fast. Rehab. My family. Therapy. This. I just can't comprehend
anything."

"Like," He inhaled shakily, lacing his fingers together. "God, I don't know. I'm sorry, I-I
probably sound really dumb and I'm rambling and—,"

"—Jeongguk," Taehyung whispered, snapping him out of his trance, his index and thumb
hooking beneath the younger's chin, tilting it in his direction.

"It's okay," He said, rubbing his thumb over the curve of his chin. Jeongguk blinked, lips
pressed into a thin line. "You don't sound dumb, and there's no need to worry about things
right now except yourself getting better."

"But everything's already so complicated though," Jeongguk muttered, deflating, stare

fixating away from the older. "You shouldn't even be here. There's entrance exams, and you
have college. You have places to be."
"This is the place I want to be," Taehyung hummed, palm sliding over the side of his cheek,
cupping it. "I'm not gonna make the same mistake again."

"Mistake?" Jeongguk asked, raising an eyebrow at him. Taehyung nodded firmly.

"I'm not gonna leave you," He said, thumb gliding over the bottom of his lip, right beneath
the mole decorating the skin below it. "I can't and I won't."

"Tae," The younger's voice drifted off, leaning into his touch for a second before he flinched
away from his touch.

It fell silent, again, but this time, the air around them was heavy as though some weight had
fallen between them— all the unsaid words, the memories, both painful and happy,
resurfacing.

Their break up, their first kiss, every laugh and joke, every smile and promise, the spur of the
moment "i-love-you's", and their fights seemed to have opened old wounds that didn't quite
heal right.

Jeongguk swallowed. "You changed."

"Yeah?" Taehyung said, pulling his hand way, letting it fall back onto his lap. He scratched
the side of his neck, "I dyed it black. Went back to my old self."

He didn't know why he was suddenly self-concious feeling Jeongguk's eyes rake over him.
He shouldn't have to be after working so hard on building his own confidence without him.

He was finally okay with himself, but in seconds, Jeongguk was able to tear it all down. It
shouldn't have mattered, yet it did.
But as he braced himself for an insult, a backhanded compliment, all he was faced with was
what looked like the beginning of a smile.

"You look amazing."

Jeongguk murmured, the corner of his lip tugging up for the first time since he got there.
Taehyung's eyes splayed wide for a second, his heart doing all sorts of flips. It was progress.
Good progress.

"I do?" He asked, palm sliding up and down his neck. Jeongguk nodded, and it was his turn
to reach over, the tips of his fingers brushing against his cheek.

"You always do," Jeongguk whispered, fingers tracing down the curve of his jaw. "Always
thought you were. I never stopped thinking so."

"I'd love every version of you."

"Sap," Taehyung's voice cracked as he blinked rapidly, hating how easy it was for his eyes to
prickle with tears. Jeongguk breathed out what could have been a laugh.

"M'glad you're doing well at least," He moved his hand away much to Taehyung's own liking,
but he said nothing, following the younger's stare to his still bandaged wrists.

"I can't believe I did that to myself," Jeongguk said, holding them out in front of them,
shoulders tensed.

"B-but when I held that scapel I stole from one of their carts, it just felt right." At that,
Taehyung froze.

"Oh, fuck, sorry. I shouldn't be talking about it, huh?" The younger winced, about to hide his
wrists like he always did, but Taehyung was quick to grab his hands, stopping him.
"God I'm so sorry Tae—,"

"—No, it's fine. It's how you felt, and your therapist said you shouldn't bottle anything up,"
Taehyung's adam's apple bobbed in the hollow of his throat as he met the younger's glossed
over gaze.

"Right," Jeongguk nodded, biting his lip. "Right. But I don't want you to think m'some
fucking loony."

"I don't think you're crazy, Gguk. Doing that doesn't make you crazy," Taehyung said, slowly
turning over his wrists between them, displaying them out in the open.

"You were hurting."

"When did you become some therapist?" He asked, attempting to joke, but they could tell he
didn't have it in him yet. It sounded cold, empty. Maybe he would have been hurt a while ago,
but he wasn't.

The two of them fell silent, again. It was starting to become a habit with everything going on,
but he always refused to let it get awkward between them. Every moment mattered; they
couldn't waste it acting like immature middle schoolers.

"Y'know what," Taehyung pressed his lips together, searching the room for something in
particular. The younger asked what back, watching the older get off the bed and toward his
bag.

"Have you ever wanted tattoos?"

He called over his shoulder, digging through his bag until he found his tiger pencil pouch
Jeongguk bought for him when they were still dating ("It oddly reminded me of you Specs").
"When I was a kid," Jeongguk said cautiously. "What are you planning?" He questioned,
scooting over when the older climbed back to his side of the bed.

"What are you— the fuck is that?" The younger asked incredulously, watching as Taehyung
took a red marker and made a failed attempt at drawing a heart.

"It's so lopsided?" Jeongguk pointed out. The older ignored him, putting the marker aside and
taking another one to make eyes and lips.

"Tadaaa!" He said, showing his little heart drawing on Jeongguk's bandage, smiling proudly
at his artwork. A little red heart with big yellow lips.

"See, now when you look at your wrists, you won't think sad thoughts anymore!"

"You're a dork," Jeongguk whispered, lips twitching into an almost-smile. Taehyung was so
close.

"You hate it?" Taehyung asked, waving a pen in front of him. Jeongguk rolled his eyes.

"Of course. It's horrendous. Now hand me one."

And he did, handing him a marker and let Jeongguk draw something right beside it but in
pink pen. He watched him lean down, brows creased and the tip of his tongue poking
between his lips as he seemed to draw a bunny beside it.

"Ah fuck. Fucked up his eyebrow," Jeongguk grumbled, groaning out when he messed up the
outline. "Now he has a wonky big brow, but hey, your heart alien has a friend!"
"Heart alien?" Taehyung snorted softly, watching the younger with fondness overflowing in
his gentle irises. Jeongguk nodded, snatching the pouch from him.

"Your heart looks like a failed red asscheek," He deadpanned. "Failed asscheek and wonky
brow bunny can be besties."

"Pals?" Taehyung teased. At that, Jeongguk snorted.

"C'mon, don't do them dirty like that," He said, looking up at him, expression glowing for the
first time since that day, and there, playing on his lips was what Taehyung was waiting for.

His first smile.

"Besties it is then," Taehyung let out a low laugh, the sound rumbling pleasantly in his throat.
He reached forward, a boxy smile on his lips as he pushed aside Jeongguk's hair behind his
ear.

"Can we make more, Tae?" The younger asked. He nodded, and together, they hunched over
his wrists, drawing happy thoughts (what Jeongguk named them) on the bandages.

Jeongguk was way better at art than Taehyung, which gave him an advantage because he
ended up getting really disappointed when his rainbow didn't compare to the tiger lily he
drew on his side.

"You're cheating," Taehyung pouted, finishing his clouds, deflated beside Jeongguk. The
younger simply let out a snort, nudging his side.

"You're just gay," Jeongguk teased, earning an eyeroll from the older. "A rainbow, really?"

"I'm sorry I'm not an artist," Taehyung held his hands up in defense. "What else do you want
me to draw? Two dicks tapping to symbolize your alliance with gays?"
"If you're down, sure. But m'not sure how my nurses would react," Jeongguk pointed out, the
beautiful smile he wore growing stronger with every passing second.

"M'a cock supporter but do I really wanna be vocal about it right now?"

"Shut up," Taehyung rolled his eyes, taking a pen out to draw something else (no, it wasn't a
dick). His horrible artistics abilities limited him to stickmen, but he wasn't going to do that so
he tried to draw Yeontan.

"Oh my god, Tae, why does Tannie look like a ball of hair," Jeongguk pointed at his second
failed attempt. The older frowned, glaring at him as he added the finishing touches: a tail and
ears.

"He is a ball of hair. Why are you so judgy? Do you see me critiquing your... oh fuuuck you.
You drew a skeleton peace-sign?" Taehyung groaned.

"Yeah," Jeongguk said like it was nothing. Damn talented people. "It looks cool, huh?
Reminds me of that nirvana song. I'd rather be dead than cool."

"Mm lol, I almost died," The younger blurted out without thinking.

When Taehyung didn't say anything, he coughed awkwardly, scratching the side of his throat.
"Shit, sorry. I don't mean to make those... jokes."

"No, it's fine, it's just the fact you said 'lol' out loud," Taehyung said, flicking his chin,
stomach fluttering seeing another small smile unravel over Jeongguk's lips.

"I hate you," He grinned, pinching his chin, gently shaking his head a little.
"No you don't," Jeongguk swatted his hand away, "You never will."

"You got me there," Taehyung laughed, tucking his black hair behind his own ear before
returning to his sad excuse of a dog drawing.

Eventually, they filled up all the possible white with stupid drawings. Taehyung drew
cartoons all over and geometric faces that he thought were 'artistic' while Jeongguk doodled
all kinds of flowers and cool scribbles of stars, planets, and the sun and moon.

They fought over who had the better drawings, and after threatening to shove markers up
Jeongguk's ass, he gave in and said Taehyung had the best art.

And somewhere along the lines of playful threats and shitty jokes, the old— no scratch that—
the happier Jeongguk was slowly coming back to him.

Oh, and he wasn't sure who suggested it, but they managed to get Jeongguk on a wheelchair
when they realized it was about dinner time.

"Hospital food sucks fucking ass," Jeongguk said, leaning against Taehyung, trying not to put
weight on his knee.

"Also, this kinda feels like you're illegally smuggling me out of somewhere."

"More like I'm smuggling you out of a room so you don't have to face the fate of eating
terrible hospital food," Taehyung grumbled, trying to catch his breath from carrying a heavy
Jeongguk while he scribbled a note for the nurses.

"Maybe Jeongguk smuggling should be an art form," The younger gasped, gesturing his
hands into an imaginary rainbow as Taehyung tried to figure out how to work a wheelchair.
"Art form?" Taehyung asked, groaning when he managed to unlock the damn thing. He was
starting to enjoy this a little more than usual, his heart fucking soaring seeing Jeongguk filled
with energy.

This was the most alive he had seen him yet.

"Yes, an art form," Jeongguk said, clapping his hands together, letting Taehyung push him out
of his room. "It requires technique like you just did."

"I just carried your fat ass to a wheelchair."

"Hey, was that a compliment?" The younger glanced up at him, smiling widely, front bunny-
teeth flashing at him. Taehyung rolled his eyes. "Taehyung?"

"What?" The older asked, holding onto the handles tightly as he led Jeongguk out the door,
trying to avoid the nurses' station.

"You want some cake?"

"The hospital doesn't sell cake, stupid," Taehyung said. Jeongguk snorted.

"I meant cake, as in ass," He grinned goofily, lips crooked and lopsided, but real and very
much happy. That was all that mattered.

"Please don't offer your ass to me in the form of a food," Taehyung scanned the area in front
of them before gathering all his strength to push Jeongguk fast so nobody would see them.

"What else should I offer it as then? Like a flower?"

"Shut the fuck up," Taehyung flicked the back of his head but of course, once he got the
younger going, there was no stopping him.

"I shall spread my ass like a flower for you Kim Taehyung," The younger lowered his voice
to mimic a salesperson, unaware his words caused Taehyung's entire face to flush red.

"Never say that again," He said, voice rough as he pushed him down a hallway toward a
bunch of different vending machines.

"Vending machines? Exquisite taste Taehyung-san," Jeongguk's energy really was at its peak.
He rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time, unable to hide the smile on his lips as he locked
Jeongguk's chair by the machine.

"What do you want to dine on tonight, dear sir?" He tried to play along, wondering if he
could get the younger to laugh too.

"The finest chip bagged in morrocan air, or luxury chocolate wrapped in expensive chinese
wrapping paper?" He pointed at a cheeto bag and a snickers.

"The chocolate looks out of budget," Jeongguk tapped his chin, looking absolutely ridiculous
as he pretended to be deep in thought.

It took everything in Taehyung's power not to die of laughter. He couldn't even hide his smile
for Pete's sake!

"How about the bag of morrocan air? Gives me good vibes. There's more air than chip," The
younger hummed, drumming his fingers excitedly over his lap. "Ooo there's gummy
worms!"

"Wait shit— I meant fine, multi-colored gelatin product of stringed mammal."

"Worms are mammals?" Taehyung asked, lifting a brow at him while he dug for his wallet.
The only shitty thing about vending machines was that their cheap food was terribly
overpriced.

"Dunno. Just wanted to sound smart," Jeongguk breathed out, shoulders shaking in quiet
laughter that didn't quite count, admitting his dumbassery.

"Alright, but you sure you just want this for dinner?" He glanced at him over his shoulder
while he put in some money into the machine.

"We can buy ice cream," The younger suggested. "I saw an ice cream truck outside the
hospital."

"We are not going outside the hospital. I think it's a crime to take a patient out of hospital
grounds," He muttered, scratching the side of his neck, punching the numbers in for their
snacks.

"Fine. We can settle for hospital ice cream in the cafeteria if it makes you happy," Jeongguk
crossed his arms over his chest. "I can go there, right?"

"We'll see," Taehyung said, crouching down to grab the bag of chips before tossing it to the
younger. He decided it wouldn't hurt to buy some banana milk from the drink machine.

"Are we going to head back to the room?"

"We should go to the roof," The younger grinned. "The hospital has a really pretty roof.
There's plants."

"Wow there's plants. So cool," He rolled his eyes, yelping when Jeongguk swung his non-
injured foot at his calf. He hissed, whipping his to get a look at him smirking smugly at him.
"Take me to the roof. I've been trapped here for a while. I forgot what the sky looked like,"
He said dramatically, draping his arm over his forehead.

"Well for starters it's blue. There's white clouds. They're puffy. It's also pretty big—,"

"— Come on," Jeongguk said, whining a little. "It'll make me happy."

"Gguk." Taehyung grabbed the last of their food, back leaning against the machine as he
stared down at him, brows drawn together in a bunch.

"Please," The younger's tone softened, words solemn off his tongue. "Let's go escape for a
while yeah? Just you and me. Us. Together."

"Us," Taehyung whispered, fingers squeezing the bags of junkfood and their drinks. It had
been way too long since he heard that, and god, his throat was suddenly tight.

"Us. Just us. Specs and Jeongguk," Jeongguk repeated. "Like the old times."

"The old times," He murmured, throat tight.

"Yeah," He cupped the side of his neck, "And... I think we need to talk."

"We do," The older nodded stiffly, pushing off the vending machine to return to his place
behind him. He handed Jeongguk all the food, gulping while he unlocked the chair.

"About this," Jeongguk clarified, pointing at the two of them, his words making his stomach
do all sorts of flips he weren't quite sure felt good. "You okay with that?"
"Are you sure you're ready?" Taehyung pulled them away from the machines and toward the
direction of the elevators to head to the roof.

"If it's with you," He whispered, honesty lacing his words, "then yes, I think I'll be okay. As
long as we're together, right?"

"Are you ready Tae?" Taehyung stiffened.

This was all he had been waiting for, and this, this was their chance. It wasn't quite the
circumstances he imagined it to be, but did life ever really work in their favor?

Taehyung was supposed to have a plan for the rest of his life, but he struggled even until now.
Jeongguk was supposed to be playing volleyball, win nationals for their school, and play for
the Olympics, but here he was, recovering from a career-ending injury.

Hell, they would have been celebrating their fourth month as a couple together, not their
second month since their breakup, if life worked out the way it should have.

Maybe all of these things happened for a reason, and this was his shot to make things right.

Maybe this was the moment he had been waiting for, or rather, it was his only chance— their
only chance to fix everything between them.

Because even though they were fine now, would they be days later? Months? Years even?
Would they be okay when Jeongguk was healed, not needing him by his side anymore? Or at
college, when they became too busy once again?

As much as it terrifed him, and as much as it hurt to pry open the wounds he tried to heal on
his own (and couldn't quite do it all the way; how could he?), they wouldn't be okay unless
they did this.
They had to talk, and Taehyung wasn't sure if he would ever get the chance again if he
backed out now.

And so, after gathering the rest of their food, they went to the roof.

It was cool when they reached the top, the air a bit stuffier and a gentle breeze ruffling
through their hair as Taehyung wheeled a munching Jeongguk (he was impatient) to a bench
in front of the railing.

Below them was the city, spread out before them dozens of buildings towering and kissing
the orange-pink skies. There were tangles of roads and faint, yellow and red lights of cars
honking buzzed in the hazy air, muted in the whoosh of the wind.

They didn't get ice cream since they guessed it would be too cold, so they sat and ate their
mediocre chips and drank their banana milk, side by side on the bench while they stared out
ahead of them.

It was endless, the city. No matter how hard they squinted to find an end, there wasn't one in
sight.

But eventually, with his bottom lip captured between his teeth, he glanced over at Jeongguk,
knowing the second he saw his features beneath the golden light that he couldn't ever see an
end with him.

To the slope of his nose, the curve of his lips, to the sharp line of his jaw, and the slants of his
doe eyes, even then there was no end to them. He could stare at them for hours, like a body of
stars he couldn't rip his eyes away from.

And when he remembered the way they loved one another, he wondered why they let it slip
from their fingers, giving themselves an ending when every moment he looked at him he saw
infinity.
He saw infinity in him, so why did they give their love a limit?

"I didn't kiss Jimin because I wanted to," Taehyung blurted out, whipping his head the other
direction, face burning when he realized what he said.

"Ouch," Jeongguk let out softly, the hurt in his words making Taehyung want to throw
himself off the roof for being insensitive and oh-so stupid. God, he needed a filter
sometimes.

"We're diving right in, huh Specs?"

"Sorry," Taehyung whispered, hanging his head, fiddling with the chip bag in his lap.

"No, it's fine. We avoided it for so long," The younger hummed, the edge of his lip quirked
upward into a half-smile.

"But Jeongguk," He interrupted, quickly adding, "I meant it. I didn't kiss him with the intent
to cheat. When you were gone, we kinda became good friends."

"Is that so?" The younger said. He couldn't quite understand his tone. Every essence of the
happier Jeongguk missing from each vowel.

"He changed, but I'm not defending him. He can defend himself," He explained, lacing his
fingers together, a lump forming in his throat. "We were only good as friends, and that kiss
was more of a friendly peck and nothing more."

"It doesn't excuse what I did, but you and I? I really thought we were meant to be more,
Gguk."

"I did too," Jeongguk admitted, voice a mere murmur. "And I'm sorry for never telling you
about Yuta. I don't know what I was thinking letting him do that to me. I should have stopped
him."

"It's alright," Taehyung exhaled shakily, glancing ahead at the skyline before them. "We both
messed up there. We should have told each other."

"I'm sorry, Tae for accusing you of cheating," He whispered, and fuck, he could feel his eyes
lingering on him, all the pain and hurt out in the open.

"I'm sorry too," He said thickly, words trembling off his quivering lips. "I'm so, so sorry."

"And," Jeongguk murmured, "I should have tried harder for us."

"Ouch," Taehyung flinched, not expecting that to have come up right away. He could already
feel his heart beginning to fall apart in his chest, the temporary fixes he instilled no longer
able to hold.

"You started it," Jeongguk tried to make thhe situation lighter, or well, at least tried to but the
atmosphere was already tense, heavy with each of the things they had left unsaid.

"But I mean what I said. I let everyone force the volleyball agenda on me instead of telling
them to stop. Everybody made it feel impossible, so I felt it too, when really it wasn't,"
Regret laced his every word.

"I left you when I promised I wouldn't, and it has haunted me," Jeongguk's voice cracked. He
glanced over at him, watching the younger shove his fingers through his hair, nostrils flaring.

"I r-regret it. I'm sorry Tae," He finally broke, his head leaning against his shoulder, face
contorted with pain and eyes squeezed tight.

"I shouldn't have left you. Y0u were trying, and I was so fucking s-stupid and left you," The
younger said ever so softly and Taehyung leaned his head against his.
"T-Tae I'm so sorry I h-hurt you."

"Jeongguk," Taehyung reached over, palm settling over his cheek, "I'm sorry too." He
breathed out, words as fragile as his own heart, nearly shattering in his chest with every
passing second.

"I should have listened to you. I should have let you explain, but all I did was jump to all
kinds of fucking conclusions," Taehyung caressed his cheek with his thumb, gaze averted
toward the sun setting in front of them.

"If only I listened, maybe we wouldn't be here, you know? You're not the only one at fault,"
Taehyung whispered, licking his lips.

"You see," He started, chest clenching hearing the younger's tiny whimpers and sniffles. He
held him close, stroking his cheek. "I don't think we were ready."

"We jumped into it without thinking."

"We might have been ready to do all those couple things," He chuckled a little, though it
wasn't at all humorous, for the second it slipped past his lips it sounded strangled, pained,
even.

"But maybe we weren't ready to really commit yet. I learned that we still have a lot left to
figure out about ourselves," Taehyung whispered.

"And we could have done it together, but we let it split us apart."

"You sound really smart, Specs. Maybe you have the 4.5 GPA," Jeongguk blurted out in
between sniffles.
The two of them ended up chuckling, though in the end, Taehyung could feel his own tears
burning at the back of his eyes. Exhaling shakily, he adjusted his arm so it was around
Jeongguk's shoulders, hugging his warm body against his.

"I'm just saying, Gguk, that I loved you then," Taehyung said, no longer holding himself back
as his vision began to blur. "I still love you, and I love you in a way that hurts."

"It's stupid and cringey and cliche," He laughed brokenly, "but I love you so much it hurts to
love you."

"Is that supposed to be good?" Jeongguk asked, snorting softly. Taehyung shrugged, lips
forming into a weak smile.

"Maybe?" He said, his free fingers tangling with Jeongguk's, their enclosed hands resting on
his thigh. "I don't know, but I do know is that I love you. I think I always will because..."

"Because what? Finish your sentence,"Jeongguk whispered. He tilted his head up, pulling
away to get a better angle of the older's face only to be met with teary eyes and a trembling
frown struggling to hold.

"Because you're my person," He declared, squeezing his hand to feel him, to make sure he
wasn't some figment of his imagination. "You are my best friend. You are my always."

"You are my home, Jeongguk."

"Tae," Jeongguk murmured, watching as the older's shoulders began to shake. He shook his
head, blinking back the tears that still managed to slip down his cheeks.

"And when I saw you on that bed, half alive after you tried to k-kill yourself," Taehyung
nearly sobbed, feeling Jeongguk remove their hands so he could cup the side of his cheek.
"I couldn't live with myself knowing I hurt you, and that was how you'd remember us when I
wanted you to remember all the good things because those good things? They were the
happiest moments of our lives, Gguk. And I ruined them. I hurt you."

"I lost you. I t-thought I lost you forever."

"Taehyung no," Jeongguk rubbed his thumb over his cheek, their faces parallel, so close their
noses almost bumped. "I hurt you. I hurt you, baby, and I'm here. I'll stay here."

"But, Tae, it was us. We hurt each other," He whispered, shoulders falling as he slumped
against the younger. Jeongguk nodded numbly, leaning over and pressing his forehead to his.

"We did, and we're sorry," The younger continued, voice low and gentle. "We're okay. We
will be okay. You're my person too. My home. My always."

"You're my fucking always, Taehyung."

"I know I said all those mean things, but I didn't mean it. I never did," Jeongguk said,
desperation edging his tone. "I'm so sorry, Tae. I'm sorry."

Their food was forgotten beside them, and though it probably wasn't very great to have
banana milk breath, nothing about that mattered.

All that he cared about was the fact Jeongguk was beside him, breathing the same air as him,
warm and tangible, existing even after given all the reasons not to.

He closed his eyes, exhaling softly, nuzzling his forehead against his Jeongguk's. His hands
reached up, cupping the sides of his face, fingers burying into his hair, touching him, feeling
him.
He drew in a shaky breath, smelling his scent, senses flooded with just Jeongguk. He felt the
other's hands cup his face, thumbs tracing his cheek to the outer lining of his parted lips.
Muttered something along the lines of my beautiful Tae and my always.

It was different, difficult to explain how he felt then, leaning against him, their eyes closed
and noses pressed together. Maybe it was the desperation to be finally near another, the
struggle to believe that this was all real and not a dream, or the fact all they have left unsaid
was finally said.

It was easier to breathe, to exist, this way. With no more lies and nothing hidden between
them. Even though they would never be the same, this moment of clarity, of peace was the
remedy they needed.

They were hurt. They would always be hurting inside, whether it be together, or apart, but
what truly mattered was the healing process.

There would be days, Taehyung had learned, where everything would feel hopeless, and there
was no energy to fulfill a purpose that seemed unclear inside of him. The question, why
continue on, would reoccurr in his mind.

There would be days of pain, eating him alive, or days where the pain was silent, leaving him
to suffer alone with no explanation of why except that it did.

But among those days were the good ones. The happy ones. The ones filled with everything
good, and you seemed to be flying on fucking air getting things done and finally feeling
loved even if it was for a fleeting moment.

Everybody loved the happy days. While he dated Jeongguk, that was all he ever wanted, all
he ever really planned for. He didn't want those sad days; hell, he didn't think they were
possible.

Relationships were always romanticized to make those who haven't had one, want one.
Before, he would hear of perfect highschool sweethearts who got married and have families,
or of cute dates and equally cheesy pictures of smiling couples online.
Nobody would ever tell the story of big fights, or huge misunderstandings. Even on shows or
books, the main couples would have some fight, and they would be fine right away and be all
gross and all over each other.

It made relationships sound so appealing, so easy and simple and fun— who wouldn't want
one?

But he learned it was the opposite. He didn't plan to fight with Jeongguk. He didn't think he
would be devoured by self-doubt and watch all of their happy days fall from his grasp.

Maybe he was a person who loved Jeongguk but wanted to be in a relationship for the sake of
being able to say he was in one. There was a difference of being in it for the title and fun than
the journey of working through every issue, every struggle together.

Clearly, he wasn't ready for that process.

But the longer he spent apart from Jeongguk, and the weeks he was at his side, watching him
recover, he realized that there will always be bad and good days.

No matter if you were in a relationship or not, and that you had to face them. You had to get
through them.

Because with every sad moment where life seemed to stop, it wasn't just there to make you
suffer. Those moments shaped you into the person you were going to be. They made you the
individual that you would be even if you had to suffer.

And at the end of all that pain, Taehyung finally understood as he sat there, holding onto
Jeongguk, afraid if he let go, he would lose him.
Pain was necessary for happiness. It was inevitable and it surely wasn't appealing, but you
had to have the bad times in life to finally experience the happiest moments of your entire
existence.

"I love you," Taehyung murmured, pulling back, gaze meeting the younger's. "I love you,"
He repeated, declaring them with every fiber of his being.

"I would say it back but," Jeongguk chuckled, squeezing the older's cheeks, finding it
adorable how his expression fell.

"I love you more than love."

"You're such a fricking sap," Taehyung groaned, shaking his head a little as his nose nuzzled
against the younger's.

God, he loved this, hearing Jeongguk's airy laughter curl around his ear, feeling his warmth,
and simply just holding him. But never did they kiss. Never did they let themselves do
anything other than this, for it meant more than any possible gesture.

They didn't need to label anything or move fast when this was it. Holding another close
beneath the sunset was all he ever needed to feel alive. To feel happy.

To finally, feel complete.

♡♡♡
Jimin didn't know if he was supposed to be here, or rather, if he did have any business being
here.

He heard Jeongguk was having visitors, seeing how Yugyeom, San, and Jae were always
chatting about ways to cheer him up. Taehyung was also spending less time with him, for he
spent all his time at the hospital with Jeongguk.

Namjoon and Yoongi were talking about it every now and then, only knowing vague details
for Jeongguk's dad shut down any rumor about his suicide attempt, but the duo never had the
balls to ever do anything that wasn't beneficial to themselves.

Jimin honestly hated them, but what could he do? Namjoon was too drugged most of the time
to care. Yoongi was just... Yoongi.

He shouldn't have came, he knew that. But he didn't know why he drove his car in the
direction of the hospital instead of going to the store to pick up some dinner.

He already brought himself here before he knew it.

Jimin hated hospitals. God, he was sick of them. Ever since his mom died, they weren't his
exactly favorite place to be. But he was here, and people saw him, and it would be weird to
just walk in and walk out.

So, he gathered the courage to ask for Jeongguk's room number to not waste anymore of his
time. The lady at the desk told him the four digits, but his dumbass forgot them, so he asked
again, face red as he half bowed.
Then he asked for them again after wandering about. He was a fucking mess as he shoved his
fingers into his blonde locks, and after a pep-talk, he supposed it wouldn't hurt to go up.

And he did, getting on that elevator and regretting it. Would Jeongguk even want to see him
after all he did? No, so why was he here? He had no purpose here. Their story ended in the
summer.

But his legs went against him, taking him to his floor and down the corridor where
Jeongguk's room was. He tried not to look around the floor, already nauseous having to be
here.

This was such a horrible idea, but he was doing it anyways. There wasn't any turning back
anymore.

Luckily Jeongguk's parents were not here. He heard Taehyung mention that they never came
at night until it was really late, but he guessed he was good seeing it was only nine.

He nodded at other nurses who smiled at him, right until he stopped in front of Jeongguk's
room. This was it. He was here, and fuck, his chest. It was tight, his breathing unable to
function properly.

There was nothing telling him that he had to talk to him, but a part of him wanted to. A part
of him wanted to apologize, to tell Jeongguk he was sorry for his behavior. Taehyung even
encouraged him to apologize.

And he wanted to. He really did. He wanted to say sorry, to patch up all the wounds he left
that eventually destroyed their friendship. Even if an apology wasn't enough, he needed to let
it out.

Jeongguk had been his friend since they were six. It hurt every fucking second to know he
ruined their friendship by hurting him. He never wanted to. They promised to be friends
forever, but here they were, merely strangers because he did hurt him, not on accident but on
purpose.
This was his chance.

He, Park Jimin, probably wouldn't have the guts to come here again, so this was it. His
fingers curled around the handle, a lump forming in his throat. The second it clicked, his head
was spinning.

Jimin braced himself for the worst, but when he opened the door, his lips curved into an oval
seeing Jeongguk wasn't alone on the bed.

On his side was Taehyung. He was spooning him, body curled into Jeongguk's. Jeongguk was
nuzzled close into Taehyung, face buried underneath the crook of his neck. It was an odd
angle, but he guessed if you love someone, it wouldn't matter.

They looked peaceful, in love, even though they were asleep. One look at them was enough
to tell they were whipped for one another. A long time ago, he would have been angry at this,
but all he felt now was content— for Jeongguk.

Great, so this wasn't his chance. A relief, actually. Jimin closed his eyes, swearing softly
(holy fuck) and sucked in a shaky breath as he leaned against the door frame.

But he couldn't leave them. They weren't covered, and there was a chill that brushed at his
neck, so it shouldn't have bothered him but it did.

Jimin knew he was testing his fucking time being here, but he spotted a blanket on the chair.
Sighing, he went over, unfolded it, and went over to the sleeping boys.

He draped the blanket over them, seeing this was all he was going to do. When he stepped
back, frozen when he saw Taehyung stir, he prayed he wouldn't wake up and when he didn't,
he exhaled in relief.
"Noona?"

"Holy fucking shit!" Jimin swore softly, jumping back, seeing Jeongguk stir. "Fuck, fuck,
fuck," He paced, trying to be quiet with his heeled shoes being little bitches below him.

Thankfully, Jeongguk went back to sleep, snuggling closer to Taehyung, only to be pulled
closer onto his chest. Exhaling quietly, he watched, chest clenched when a content smile
spread over Jeongguk's lips.

Jimin deflated, standing by the edge of his bed, biting at the tip of his thumb. He had to leave
since this already backfired, but there was something holding him back.

He drew in a shaky breath, knowing this was what he had to do. He was being creepy already,
watching them sleep. Eventually, Jimin ran his hand down his face before blurting out in a
whisper—

"I'm sorry Jeongguk." He said, without anything else, and turned to leave, having done all he
needed to do, thinking Jeongguk wasn't awake to hear him.

But the moment he was gone, far from the room, Jeongguk's eyes flew open, staring at the
spot where he once stood.

"I'm sorry too, Jimin," Jeongguk murmured softly, and with that, he went back to sleep.
 the nerd & the fuckboy

♡♡♡

"You think I can whack somebody across the head with my crutches?" Jeongguk asked,
hobbling after Taehyung, the two of them walking side by side as they approached his dorm.

"Would it be assault? Or like, what if I gently pat their heads with it? Just gently, though."

"I don't think that would be favorable," Taehyung chuckled, staring at him with such
fondness anybody could notice it. "Be careful."

"I am careful. I'm the definition of careful," The younger said, scoffing. "I'm so good—,"

He stumbled, underestimating his dumb crutch to foot ratio and nearly fell if it wasn't for
Taehyung who was quick enough to grab him by the arms to steady him.

Face unbearably warm and once he wobbled back to a stand, he stared down at the ground.

"You didn't see that."

"What happened to being the definition of careful?" Taehyung teased, reaching over and
ruffling his overgrown hair. Jeongguk rolled his eyes.

"That was just a test to see if you would save me," He mumbled softly, nose scrunching
together when the older cupped his face, squeezing his cheeks.

"Of course I'd be there to save you," Taehyung said, forcing him to meet his eyes, a small
smirk on his lips. "You're an idiot, Jeon."

"No you," Jeongguk grumbled, pouting. "I am a god at crutches. You got fooled by my
skills."

"Sure I did," He chuckled, pinching his friend's cheeks, eyes squinting into a smile. "Let's go
already. You've been walking for too long."

"I need the exercise," Jeongguk said over his shoulder, already head of him. "I gained weight
because of you."

"I don't have abs anymore."

"And does that change my love for you? Not at all," Taehyung grinned, watching Jeongguk,
even though he still struggled, manage to get to the door all by himself.
"But it was my abs! They were my sex appeal!" He cried out, exaggerating his words.

"How am I gonna bag bitches now?"

"Do you think you can bag bitches like that?" He asked, gesturing at him between his
crutches. "What are you gonna do?"

"Romance them with my crutches," Jeongguk hummed, winking at him. Taehyung rolled his
eyes, fighting the smile on his lips, knowing it would only encourage him.

"Like how? Drop them, fall to the ground in front of them, and say 'I've fallen and I can't get
up 'coz you're so pretty, my crutches gave out'?"

"I mean, that sounds plausible," Jeongguk stopped by his side, tapping his chin in thought.
The second Taehyung turned away to continue on, he heard a clatter behind him.

"Jeongguk what the frick are you doing?" He groaned, watching Jeongguk slowly lower
himself to the floor like an idiot.

Unimpressed, he crossed his arms over his chest, staring down at Jeongguk who had
pretended to fall.

"You're going to hurt yourself," He jutted his chin over to his brace, but of course, Jeongguk
ignored him as he tried to get into character.

"Oh no," He said sarcastically after clearing his throat, flapping his arms around him, testing
Taehyung's ability to hold himself back from smiling.

"I have fallen and can't get up."

"Get up loser," Taehyung whispered, chewing on his bottom lip, praying nobody in the
hallway would see him being an idiot like this.

"You're so pretty my crutches gave up!" Jeongguk giggled, eyes scrunched in laughter while
Taehyung looked the other way, trying to hide the way his entire face flushed pink.

"Have you fallen for me yet?" He asked in between fits, eyes sparkling with the mischief he
had grown to miss.

"Clearly you have," Taehyung grumbled, crouching down to gather his crutches and leaned
them against the wall. He reached over, wrapping his arms around the younger's waist and
helped lift him up.

"Hey, don't use my pickup line against me. I'm supposed to pick you up," Jeongguk said,
throwing his arms around his neck as Taehyung stabled him on his feet.

"And yet here I am, picking you up," The edge of his lip curled upward as he stared over at
the boy, not at all caring that they were too close, lips fractions away and noses nearly
bumping.
"Touché," Jeongguk whispered softly, the pink of his tongue gliding over his own lips, eyes
never leaving his except for a mere second, for they glanced down briefly at Taehyung's lips.

But before Taehyung's impulses could get the best of him, he pulled away, snapping out of
whatever trance the younger put him into.

"Let's get going," He said, patting Jeongguk's bum, and together, he helped him adjust back
in between his crutched, and they were silently on their way.

When he caught up to him (he went slow on purpose to make him feel fast), accomplishment
glittered in Jeongguk's eyes as he gave Taehyung the prettiest, toothy smile. Taehyung ruffled
his hair, saying he was proud of him, stomach doing all kinds of flips when the younger fist
pumped the air.

"See, I'm getting better Specs," Jeongguk leaned against the wall, gaze fixing on Taehyung,
who was trying to find the dorm key.

"I can tell," Taehyung glanced at him, hand holding the key hovering over the doorknob.
Their eyes met for a fleeting second, but he could tell all of this was genuine.

The stars: they were slowly returning.

Well, it made sense since it had been two months since Jeongguk's injury.

Taehyung was there since the start of everything: the gruesome hours of physical therapy, the
evenings where Jeongguk took a step back and fell into that darkness, and mornings where
the boy gave him a tired smile, saying he wanted to work harder even though yesterday
devastated him.

It wasn't easy, recovering. Jeongguk had to learn how to put weight back on his knee, and as
much as he struggled, stumbled, and nearly fell from how much it hurt, he got up again,
promising to try harder.

The thing about Jeongguk that he admired the most was that he never seemed to give up.

Even though he chose to that day, there was something in him that refused to give up ever
again, and, that, that was why he loved him so much.

He wanted to change. He wanted to get better. He wanted to try to live and find a new
purpose.

It honestly made Taehyung want to do the same.

Despite all the shit the world threw at them, all they could was try to live through it, even if it
hurt and it was too much to bear.

Because in the end, they were able to find their own kind of happy.

Jeongguk was smiling and laughing more than he used to. Taehyung managed to break him
out of his shell, and eventually, the Jeongguk he knew and loved came out: jokes, laughs, and
suggestive smiles all in one.

It took a while, but it was worth waiting and sticking by his side through every struggle,
every victory, and every moment where their eyes met during difficult times, and they knew
they would be okay as long as they were together.

They didn't need a label for what they were. They didn't need to kiss to show how much they
cared. All of that would be figured out later, but for now, it didn't matter.

All that really did was knowing that they were going to be okay. They were together, and
that, that was enough for them.

"Hey Specs," Jeongguk said, following Taehyung into the dark dorm. "I was thinking."

"Thinking about what?" Taehyung asked, holding the door open for him, biting down on his
lip.

"Graduation. We're graduating soon," The younger hummed, hobbling inside, looking at Tae
over his shoulder. "Since I don't have volleyball, I spent some time thinking about what I
wanna be."

"Really? You figured that out fast," Taehyung chuckled, quietly shutting the door behind,
them, leaving them in the dark.

"I know, it's just, I have to go to college still. I wanna do something I could enjoy even if it
isn't volleyball," Jeongguk whispered, barely able to see Taehyung as he strode toward him.

"Even if I still feel like my life's over, I gotta move on you know?" Jeongguk said, glancing
upward a little to meet his eyes. He could have sworn they were the same height, but he
guessed Taehyung managed to snag a centimeter on him.

"You're right. What is it?" Taehyung asked, stopping in front of him, breathing hitched. In the
dark, all he could see where Jeongguk's eyes, and there, in the pitch black light, he saw them.
L

He saw the beginning of a star twinkle in his eyes.

"I think I wanna take care of kids, like day care."

"Oh?" Taehyung raised an eyebrow at him, taking a second to enjoy a picture of a big guy
like Jeongguk waddle with little kids, playing with dolls and giving them piggyback rides.

"It sounds dumb, I know, but I like kids," Jeongguk muttered sheepishly. "I like hanging
around with my sisters, so I guess maybe that's the next thing I'm gonna try to work for."

"And maybe... we could even go to college together!"

"That's a good plan, Gguk. I don't think it's dumb at all," Taehyung whispered, about to reach
over and slip his palm over his cheek, but before he could, the lights flicked on.
"Surprise!"

San, Jae, Yugyeom, Hyejung, Hoseok, and Jin jumped out from behind the furniture, scaring
the shit out of them as they screamed to the top of their lungs.

Jeongguk flinched, bumping into Taehyung who was smiling at him softly while he realized
it was a party for him. Eyes wide and mouth hanging open, he blinked, trying to comprehend
what was going on.

San and Yugyeom ran up to him, clapping and cheering. They had confetti poppers in their
hand, releasing them, and shooting confetti all over them. Jin, Hyejung, and Hoseok had
kazoos, making all kinds of noise.

"What's this?" Jeongguk whispered, holding his hands out in front of him, confetti falling into
his palms.

"A welcome home party!" Yugyeom and San declared, scooping confetti off the ground and
throwing it on a giggling Jeongguk.

"We wanted to congratulate you from leaving the hospital, but because of finals, this party
was a little late," Jae said, the noise settling down.

"You guys," Jeongguk gushed, bouncing a little, his hands making tiny fists as he covered his
ears in excitement. He immediately looked over at Tae, eyes softening realizing it was him:
he was behind this.

"I hate you," Jeongguk punched his arm weakly. "I really, really hate you." At that, Taehyung
chuckled.

"We even bought you a cake!" Hyejung walked over to where they stood, and there, in her
hands, was a little cake with purple frosting and a volleyball on it.

There, in Taehyung's perfect handwriting, in purple gel frosting was MEANS

EVERYTHING CUZ ISSA REAL PARTY.

"I hate all of you," Jeongguk declared, voice nearly cracking. He scanned the room, lips
curled into the smallest of smiles, his chin quivering.

"Taehyung put it all together," Jin said, throwing his arm around Taehyung's shoulders.

"He was a bitch about it, but what can you do when you're in love?"

"Shut up," Taehyung grumbled, elbowing Jin's side, who was laughing (windshield wiper and
all) at the way his ears reddened.

"You did this for me?" Jeongguk asked, turning toward him. Taehyung nodded, only
flinching a little as the younger punched his chest.

"Of course. You went through a lot and you're doing so well," He said, unable to meet his
eyes, his hand cupping the side of his neck. "You deserve every good thing, you know?"
"I do?" Jeongguk murmured. Taehyung nodded.

"You do. You deserve it all," He chuckled a little, finally gathering the courage to meet
Jeongguk's pretty doe eyes, ignoring the way his stomach did all those stupid flips and turns.

"Specs?"

"Jeon Jeongguk?"

"I love you," He whispered softly, soft enough so that only Taehyung could hear it, his face
hovering a few inches away from his own.

Taehyung stiffened, not quite expecting that, but before he could say it back, Jeongguk patted
his cheek and turned around, giving all his attention back to the party.

"Why are you here noona?" Jeongguk asked, eyes glittering when his sister set the cake on
the coffee table. She stood up straight to meet his gaze, but she wasn't as tall as him.

"I had to celebrate it with you," Hyejung shrugged, reaching over and swiping some frosting
over her brother's nose. "I was gonna leave this morning, but Taehyung invited me to this last
minute."

"What? I'm sorry!" He held his hands up on defense when the oldest Jeon glared at him.
Eventually, she shook her head, and reached over, ruffling Tae's hair.

"I'm joking. But I couldn't miss my baby brother going back to school, hm?" Hyejung
pinched his cheek despite his whines. "I'm happy if you're happy, Gguk."

"I'm happy," Jeongguk said, honesty dripping from his vowels, and what really made
Taehyung's heart clench was the moment he said that...

He was looking directly at him.

"In a couple months you'll be walking again," San cheered, and the conversation had steered
away to small talk as they sat on the couch, drinking boba from Sunshine Sips and passing
around bags of chips San and Yugyeom bought.

"But it won't be enough for volleyball," Jeongguk shrugged, leaning his body against
Taehyung's, unaware his back was practically against his chest.

"You'll get to that point eventually," Hoseok said. "But you should focus on being able to get
back to normal things, kid."

"I know," He grumbled, taking a sip from his boba, brows scrunched together. "I'm taking
baby steps for now, but I'll be taking big ass dude steps next time you see me."

"I won't allow you to injure yourself again," Hyejung warned, waving a chip at him. "If you
dare do that again, I'll literally snap ur spine in half."
"That was very violent," Yugyeom commented. "Should I be scared?" He whispered to San,
who only shrugged.

"With love," Hyejung added, if that even softened anything.

"You better graduate though," She said, changing the subject. "Who's graduating this year?"

"Everyone except San and Yugyeom," Jae gestured around the group. "Yugyeom's a junior,
and San's a sophomore."

"Jeez, you guys are young," Jin snorted, leaning back into the couch. "Imagine being a whole
ass fetus."

"Hey, I'm sixteen," San muttered, pouting. "I'm old."

"Most of us are eighteen, kiddo," Hoseok let out a laugh. "You're on the edge of baby and
even bigger baby."

"Okay, rude," San turned to Yugyeom, arms crossed over his chest, cheeks puffed out, "Am I
a baby?"

"You're my baby," Yugyeom bit down on his straw. When everyone was staring at him, he
held his hands up in defense, "No homo. I'm wearing socks."

"Oh my god you are gay, admit it. None of that no homo shit," Hoseok groaned, rolling his
eyes. "My ex ruined no homo for me, I swear to god."

"Is it gay if I kiss you? Fuck yeah it is," He threw his hands up in the air. "It is gay, if you
touch a dude in a non-friendly way. Doesn't matter if you're wearing het pride socks."

"Het pride exists?" Jae asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"No, it doesn't. Attention-seeking straights made that up," Jin sipped at his drink.

"Did I ever say 'no homo' to you Specs?" Jeongguk twisted his head around, accidentally
knocking his head against Taehyung's chin. "Oh, fuck, sorry."

"It's fine," Taehyung grumbled, rubbing at his chin, his other hand snaking around Jeongguk's
waist by habit as he pulled his body closer to him. "And no, thank god."

"All we ever did was make out and ask if we were pals at the end of it."

"Ya'll did what?" Jin nearly spat out his drink, along with Hyejung. But the rest of them didn't
seem to be surprised by the sudden relevation.

"I just assumed you two were idiots who couldn't get their feelings and shit together."

"That was basically it," Jeongguk nodded, "I even sucked him off, swallowed his kid sauce,
and went, 'yo, are we friends'? Then I dipped."
"Jeongguk, I did not need to hear that," Hyejung whispered, pinching the bridge of her nose.
He said a tiny sorry in her direction, shrinking in Taehyung's arms realizing she was there,
listening.

"Did this actually happen though?" Jae asked, looking as though he was trying to hold back a
laugh.

"It did," Taehyung confirmed, glad he could hide behind Jeongguk, for his face was
practically in flames right now. "Not my proudest moment."

"And why do you call it kid sauce?" Yugyeom asked, disgust contorting his features. "That's
like, gross. Call it ejac juice."

"Ejac juice— no. Call it cum. Please, you actual barbarian," Jae shoved Yugyeom, who was
beside him. "Never again let those words leave your mouth."

"I hate boys," Hyejung rolled her eyes, quietly sipping at her drink.

"Oh my god same noona," Jeongguk gushed. "Let's be lesbian together."

"That's not how it works—," Taehyung started, but eventually he closed his mouth and shut
up. The younger simply chuckled, squirming in his arms, and lacing their hands together on
his lap.

"Are they a couple?" Hoseok whispered over to Jae.

"Shh, just let them be," He said, waving him off.

"So, do you listen to girl in red?" Jin suddenly asked Jeongguk's sister, curiousity in his eyes.
Hyejung nodded, a little caught off guard by the question.

"When I have the time," She admitted. Yugyeom groaned.

"So Hyejung-noona's off limits too? Why are all the pretty ones gay," He pouted. San and
Jae, and probably everyone in the room rolled their eyes.

"You're gay," Jae cupped his hands around his mouth, trying to make his voice louder. "You
are so gay, I see the gaylengths of gay radiating off your body."

"I do not radiate gay," Yugyeom sat up, throwing a pillow at him. "I am challenged by the
way San looks in shorts. However, I am not gay. No homo. Full on hetero."

"Come on, it's not that hard to admit you like dick," Hoseok said, gesturing at him. "Most of
us are gay, or bi. I think Jin's pan? Jae's aro ace. Hyejung is the biggest butch lesbian I've ever
encountered."

"Was that a compliment?" She asked.

"Being lesbian is a compliment," Jin snickered. "Some men ain't shit."

"Exactly," Jeongguk agreed, "I used to be bi now I'm just hetero."

"No you aren't. You ain't fooling anyone twink headass," Jin scoffed. Jeongguk gasped,
pretending to be offended.

"Shut up sheepy," Jeongguk mumbled, "or else I'll beat you with my crutches."

"Oh I'm so scared," Jin rolled his eyes, only to nearly let out a scream when Jeongguk pushed
away from Taehyung, reaching for one of his crutches.

"Please settle down!" Taehyung sighed, pulling the younger back despite him threatening to
end Jin's bloodline by wacking him hard with his crutch.

"And also don't you start with the 'no homo' please. I already suffered calling you pal,"
Taehyung groaned.

"How did that pal thing even work?" Hoseok asked, titling his half empty boba cup toward
them. "Did you just go 'oh sorry bruh, kinda accidentally slipped my dick into your ass. We
still friends or nah'?"

"Basically," Jeongguk hummed, "but it wasn't on accident. It was my Christmas gift!" He said
happily.

"Please, stop. I don't need to know my brother gets dicked down in his freetime," Hyejung
begged, covering her face.

"All I want for Christmas is some Grade A Dick," Yugyeom said softly, only to be hit with a
pillow by both San and Jae. "Fine, partial homo."

"Why go partial when you can say full homo?" Jin asked, incredulously.

"Just say you like getting your ass stuffed like build-a-bear and go."

"I get my ass stuffed all the—," Taehyung clamped his hand over Jeongguk's mouth, saving
them from further embarrassment.

"I got socks on," Yugyeom whispered. At that, everyone rolled their eyes once more.

"I honestly regret putting all of us into a room," Taehyung grumbled, dropping his hand and
resting his chin on the dip of Jeongguk's shoulder despite it tickling the younger which made
him squirm around.

"It probably wasn't one of your smartest ideas," Jae agreed. "At least you know what to do in
the future."

"Exactly," He said, drumming his fingers over the younger's thigh. "But something's missing.
I planned for one more thing, but I haven't got a text."

"What is it?" Jeongguk asked, craning his neck back to get a better look at the older's face.
"Don't tell me you bought me something."
"It's not that," Hyejung cut in, checking her own phone. "I haven't got a text either. I wonder
—,"

"Jeonggukie!!" The screams of three little girls filled the room, and it didn't take long for
Jeongguk to register what was happening until his three sisters were trying to climb onto his
lap.

"There they are," Taehyung hummed, letting go of Jeongguk as he busied himself with
greeting each of his sisters. However, that wasn't who he was focused on.

"What the heck? Lin? Inna? Kyung?" He whispered, giving them all hugs to the best of his
ability. "I thought Aunt June took you guys back home?"

"Nope! We stayed with Jungie," Hyelin declared, fitting herself into her brother's lap and
snuggling into him. "But Ggukie oppa! We had fun!"

"You had fun? Where?" He asked, eyes glistening as every one of his sisters began speaking
at once, gushing over their day and how much fun they had with another oppa.

"He bought us ice cream! And sweets! And we even got you a present!" Hyein squealed. "I
think you'll like it, Jeonggukie-oppa."

"What present?" He asked, glancing over at Taehyung, who merely shrugged. "Where is it?"
He said, looking at Jeonkyung.

"He has it," Jeonkyung said, jerking her thumb over her shoulder. "Jiminie-oppa has it."

"Jimin?" Jeongguk's voice softened, and the second his gaze averted to the door, Taehyung
watched him freeze on the spot.

Jimin shut the door behind him, and beneath his arm was a box, his blonde hair a mess over
his forehead and his blazer a bit wrinkled. He seemed a little out of place, and he could tell he
probably didn't like everyone staring at him, but Jimin took it in stride and pulled his lips into
a small smile.

"Hi," Jimin said, holding the box in front of him, bottom lip captured between his teeth.
"Sorry, we were late. They wanted ice cream."

"It's all good," Taehyung interupted, for Jeongguk wasn't saying anything. "Is that it?"

"Oh, uh, yeah, here," Jimin nodded hurriedly, handing the box to Hoseok, who passed it on
until it was finally with Jeongguk.

"I came up with it, and well, um, think of it as a gift from all of us."

Jeongguk remained silent, which nobody knew if it was bad or good, but nonetheless he
opened the gift. He removed the lid, handing it over to his sisters, and finally after going
through the wrapping paper, he gasped.

"A volleyball?" He asked, confused, as he pulled it out. But it wasn't just any volleyball.
"We all signed it. The volleyball team, your family, and your friends. There's messages from
everyone on it too," Jimin murmured, scratching the side of his neck.

"It's beautiful," Jeongguk said softly, spinning it around in his palms, lips curling upward
seeing every message, every name, and god, he didn't know what to say.

"Thank you Chim," He tilted his head up, meeting the older's gaze. "I appreciate it. A lot."

"You're welcome," Jimin breathed out, tucking his blonde hair behind his ear. "Glad you like
it, so uh, I guess I'll get going."

"No," Jeongguk said, glancing between Taehyung and Jimin. For a second, his gaze lingered
on Tae, and without a word, Taehyung squeezed his hip, encouraging him to keep talking.

"Please, stay," Jeongguk cleared his throat, gesturing at the empty spot beside Jae. "We want
you here."

"Oh, okay," Jimin nodded briefly and took the spot beside Jae, awkwardly glancing around at
everyone.

It was weird, for nobody really said a thing, until Jeongguk cleared his throat and said—

"So, about getting your ass stuffed—," Only to have a pillow being thrown into his face and
scattered laughter before the room burst back into life, everyone continuing on like nothing
happened.

Even Jimin was warming up, laughing along, throwing his body into the side of the couch as
he did so, and made up stupid jokes when arguments arose over dicks and what was the
proper way to say no homo.

"You should talk to him," Taehyung nudged his side, when the party was rolling toward the
end, and the girls were getting tired.

"Maybe I should," Jeongguk whispered back, watching as Hyejung got up and announced it
was time to go. In that moment, their eyes met, and he knew he couldn't let this go.

"I think I will," He said, giving Jimin a small smile, which surprised the older, for he blinked
rapidly and glanced around the room, pale. He always did that when he was nervous.

"You guys should," Taehyung nodded, rubbing his hand up and down his side, helping him
gather all his confidence. "You got this, Gguk. You can do it."

"I can do this," Jeongguk repeated, realizing that deep down, part of him still missed his best
friend.

No, scratch that, of course he missed him, he missed him with his whole entirety, and
Taehyung knew it. He didn't have to say it for him to know because with a friendship like
their's, Jeongguk didn't have the power inside of him to throw it away forever.
If he could make up with Taehyung, surely he could makeup with Park Jimin.

♡♡♡

Eventually, everybody said their goodbyes and left, leaving behind Taehyung, Jeongguk,
Jimin, Hoseok, and Jin, who stayed back to clean up the dorm before crashing for the night.

Jin and Hoseok were busy cleaning the living room of their mess, while Jeongguk was in the
kitchenette with Taehyung and Jimin, watching the two throw away trash and wash dishes
together.

Maybe a long time ago, he would have been mad seeing Jimin and Taehyung like this. He
would have been irritated, perhaps would even lash out at Jimin for trying to invade every
part of his life, when really, it was the opposite.

All those times where Jimin was clinging onto him wasn't to annoy him or to suffocate him.
For so long, he didn't understand. He thought Jimin was trying to force this relationship on
him that he didn't want, which was partially true, but that wasn't the point.

Their friend group was falling apart, and they were all that was left. But instead of fighting to
be friends with Jimin, Jeongguk ran. He ran and tried to avoid it— all these feelings, these
situations he didn't want to deal with.

He ran away from Jimin when the older merely tried to fight for him to stay. Sure, there were
other things they did that couldn't be ignored and what couldn't be excused, but that was what
he failed to see.

Jimin wanted him to stay, but all Jeongguk did was leave. They were both clearly in the
wrong, but in the end, deep down, they were still the two little kids who met on the
playground twelve years ago.

They may have gotten older and life had gotten in the way and tampered with that innocence
that started their friendship, but at the end of the day, they were still Jeongguk and Jimin.

Somewhere in him, he was still the kid with bunny bandaids and a big dream for volleyball,
and Jimin was the little boy in a yellow sweater, knees bruised and cut, who promised to be
best friends forever and always be by each other's side.
They had something that may not be the same kind of love he had for Taehyung, but love
existed in many forms. He did love Jimin even if it wasn't in the way it could have been.

So, he had to apologize, to talk to him. This was his only chance to get his best friend back.

The sorry they said in the hospital was the start, but he knew it was up to them to figure out
their end.

"Ah fuck, I have to get going," Jimin announced, glancing at his phone on the counter,
realizing how late it was.

"Where are you heading off too?" Jeongguk watched as Taehyung took the last of the trash
from Jimin and threw it away, while the blonde hurried to grab his shoes by the door.

"A talk with the coach of Team Korea," Jimin told Taehyung as he shoved his fingers through
his hair, pushing back a wave of blonde over his forehead.

"I'm quitting the team."

"You are?" Taehyung asked, his eyebrows not the only one raised. Jimin nodded, fishing his
keys off the counter and shoving them into his blazer pocket.

"I'm not gonna play volleyball professionally," Jimin said, cupping the side of his neck as he
lingered by the door. "It's not my thing. My dad wanted me to do it, but I think I wanna
pursue something else."

"Well, if it makes you happy, go for it," Taehyung hummed, glancing over at Jeongguk. The
younger swallowed, realizing he was telling him this was his cue.

"See you," Jimin waved, already half-way out the door.

Rather abruptly, he got up onto his feet, struggling to balance his crutches while he tried to
catch up to Jimin. He gave a thumbs up to Taehyung, hobbling forward fast enough to catch
the door, and just before Jimin shut it, he shoved the bottom of hos crutch between the door
and the wall.

He pushed his way past it, desperate to catch him, and thankfully when he got out, Jimin
hadn't gone far. Fuck, he had to say something before he was gone, but his mind was just—

Oh god, why couldn't he say something?! He carded his fingers through his hair, licking at
his lips, trying to put a proper sentence together. Shit, he was too slow, and Jimin was almost
—

"It's piano, isn't it?"

He shouted out loud the first thing that came to mind, nearly fumbling over his words. Ahead
of him, Jimin froze.

"You chose piano," Jeongguk gulped, hands faling back to his crutches to hold himself up.
"Your mom loved piano. Is that why you chose to pursue it?"
"Yeah," Jimin said, barely glancing over his shoulder. "She made me really like piano."

"Then that's good. Do it. Do what you love," He prodded forward, not stopping until his body
was only a few feet away from Jimin's— a safe distance.

"You deserve to have that chance."

"And you do too," Jimin whipped around, arms crossed over his chest. He eyed him up and
down, expression unreadable, but he swore, in his eyes were regret.

"Jimin," Jeongguk's voice softened. "Hyung."

"Jeongguk," Jimin whispered, fingers digging into his arms, the silence between them thick,
neither one knowing exacty what to say. "I just wanted to say that—,"

"I'm sorry." The both of them said in unison.

"Oh, uh," The older gulped, drumming his fingers over the side of his arms, gaze averted to
the ground, blonde hair falling over his eyes.

"Should we talk?" Jeongguk suggested, gesturing at the ground. Jimin unfolded his arms, one
hand slipping into his pocket and the other pulling out his phone to check the time.

"We have to make it quick," Jimin said, grimacing at the clock. "I have to make my decision
right away."

"No, I get it. We were supposed to commit today,"

Jeongguk nodded, pressing his lips together. I was supposed to have my first official practice
today.

"Shall we sit?"

The older asked before he could lose himself further into his thoughts, and with another nod,
the two of them walked over toward the wall and carefully slid to the ground until they were
side by side, shoulders brushing.

Jeongguk didn't know what to say, or rather, how to start it. The two of them sat in the empty
hallway, staring at the blank wall ahead of them, the lights above them dimmer than usual. He
pulled his fine knee up and propped his chin on it, his other hand tracing patterns on his
thigh.

Jimin, on the otherhand, tilted his head back, gaze fixed on the ceiling. The only sound he
could really hear was their breathing, unmatched, but still there. Every time he exhaled, Jimin
inhaled.

God, this wasn't what he planned, but it was his fault for not knowing what to say. He should
have known, but he didn't imagine it to be this difficult.

They were friends. They used to be able to tell one another everything, and here he was,
struggling to even speak. Beside him, Jimin sighed sharply.
"Y'know what?" Jimin murmured, hanging his head, hands covering his face. Jeongguk
glanced at him, raising an eyebrow at him.

"What?" Jeongguk asked, peering closer at him, noticing from behind his tiny hands was a
smile forming on his lips.

"I just got a memory," The older whispered, his words met with a soft oh from Jeongguk.

"What was it?" He gulped, leaning his head back into the wall, keeping his gaze focused
head.

"We were ten," Jimin said, "and we fought at the piano practice room. It was when you still
did your lessons with me. I don't remember what we fought about, but it was bad, and I left
you and told you to do whatever you wanted."

"It was raining too," The older chuckled a little, "and I remember I was so mad. And then you
called me,, and I was like 'I told you not to call me' but you were crying so hard,
apologizing."

"That was almost eight years ago," He snorted, eyes falling shut at the distant memory he
didn't think Jimin would remember up until now. It was one of their earliest fights, back when
they rarely fought.

"Wasn't it because I told you I chose more volleyball practice hours over piano lessons with
you?"

"Yeah," Jimin murmured, sliding his palms down his thighs. "Then we don't know where you
were. You said you'd get a taxi, and I waited for you, in the rain. I was sitting against the
wall, like this, and then I saw you, ran up to you, and I hugged you."

"I hugged you, and then I apologized, and I promised... we weren't ever gonna fight like this
again."

"Is that why you're laughing? Because we fought again?" Jeongguk asked, and when he did
turn his head to look at him, his breath hitched the second their gazes met.

"I guess," He couldn't quite tell what was going on in Jimin's mind. He remembered he used
to be able to know how he felt with one look, but somehow, over the years, Jimin became
harder to read.

"We made a lot of promises back then," Jimin said, gaze unwavering. "We broke all of them."

"We suck at keeping promises then," Jeongguk said, snickering a little. Jimin rolled his eyes,
but he couldn't miss the smile that graced his lips.

"And we're real good at beating around the bush," The older exhaled, sitting up, turning his
attention to his lap. "Jeongguk, I— I-I'm sorry. I really am."

"Just looking back at it, I shouldn't have done what I did, or said what I said," He whispered,
fiddling with his fingers over his lap. "I was horrible to you. It was my worst fear to lose you,
but I guess in the end, I lost you anyways hm?"

"I was so worried, trying not to lose you, but I fucked up. I j-just— I fucked up."

"You didn't lose me, hyung," Jeongguk said, placing his hand over his forearm, biting down
on his lip when the older's head whipped up, glossy gaze meeting his own.

"I'm sorry, too. I wasn't clear with anything."

"I led you on," He added, gently squeezing his arm before pulling away. "I shouldn't have
done that either. I knew how you felt, and yet I still did what I did. It was my fault too."

"Looks like we're both at fault then," Jimin cracked a smile, his lips trembling, struggling to
hold. The younger hummed, shaking his head.

"Yeah, we suck," He chuckled half-heartedly, a knot beginning to tie itself within his throat.
"But I don't want to be bad... at this. I don't want to be mad at you forever."

"I don't want to hurt you," Jimin admitted. "If you want my honesty, I will always fucking
love you, you little shithead."

"It's so easy to love you, you know?"

"Did you not see how my last actual relationship went?" Jeongguk snorted, finally earning a
laugh from the older. He grinned shyly to himself when Jimin nudged his side, laughing
against him.

"Okay, maybe it isn't, but still. I love you as my best friend, if I even deserve that title," Jimin
said, firmly. "You being happy means so much to me."

"But you deserve to be happy too, hyung," Jeongguk murmured. "You deserve to be loved,
and to have love, too." At that, Jimin winced.

"I think I'm gonna take a break from all the love bullshit," Jimin chuckled dryly, scratching
the side of his neck. "It's not my thing."

"No, I get it. I barely understand it too, except that it's there," The younger hummed. "But
seriously, I want you to be happy, and if doing piano and music makes you happy, do it."

"Just because you made mistakes in the past, doesn't mean you don't deserve happiness."

"Yeah," Jimin nodded, swallowing. "When did you become so wise?"

"Since I fell in love with Taehyung," He let out a gentle laugh, fondness flooding his chest
with this warmth he couldn't quite describe.

"He changed you," Jimin pointed out when the laughter between them died out. "In a good
way. You're so much more like yourself. You remind me a lot of how you were back then."
"I didn't know it was that obvious," Jeongguk grinned, ears tinged red. "But yeah, I get what
you mean. Around him, I can just be me."

"I'm glad you found him then," Jimin whispered.

"You look so much happier."

Jimin glanced at his phone again, cursing when he saw the time. He scrambled up to his feet,
helping Jeongguk as the younger struggled to get up. He handed him his crutches, somehow
still careful even though he was clearly rushing.

"Shit, I'm sorry, I have to go," Jimin shoved his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry we had to
cut this short, but do you think it's possible if we can talk again?"

"Of course. We got a lot to catch up on," The edge of his lips lifted into a smile, holding his
hand out.

"I miss you, hyung."

"I miss you, too," The older whispered back, taking his hand into his and squeezing firmly
before he had to turn around and head toward the elevator.

When Jeongguk went back to the dorm, Taehyung was waiting for him with the door open.
As he stood in front of him, he inhaled slowly, finally feeling as if he could hold up his
shoulders upright, a small smile unraveling over his lips.

Everything, in that moment, seemed to become lighter— more bearable, even.

"Are you two okay now?" Taehyung asked, helping him get inside before shutting the door
behind him.

"I think so," Jeongguk said, stopping by the front, waiting for Taehyung to turn back to him.
"I think we still have a lot of things to sort out before we get back to being friends."

"I get that," The older nodded, sliding his hands into his pockets. "You feeling okay?" He
jutted his chin down at his knee brace.

Jeongguk said nothing, instead he spent the silence studying Taehyung's features, wondering
how the fuck he got so lucky with this boy.

Not only was he beautiful behind those thick glasses frames and curly black hair (he recently
got bullied into getting a perm), just looking at him was enough to ease all his worries.

He could rely on him, but at the same time, loving Taehyung taught him how to grow on his
own, and he supposed that was made loving him his favorite part of existing.

This boy changed him. Jimin was right. Who would have thought the nerd could change the
fuckboy?
At the beginning of this, he couldn't even recognize who he was. He hid behind volleyball,
believing it was enough, that it was the only thing he deserved. All his life, he worried about
others, forcing himself into this mould others would approve of.

He did things he wasn't proud of, thinking others would accept him. He chose to be alone,
holding everyone at a distance, knowing that things would never be permanent. He wasn't
really himself.

It was also so much easier to run than to face the things that scared him, that hurt him.

But it all changed when he met Taehyung. When he met him, his entire fucking world
seemed to spin faster, and everything he ever knew became just as strange as himself.

For the first time in years, he could recognize himself.

Suddenly, he didn't give a damn about what others thought, ditching the hook-ups and parties
for time spent at a pet shelter, a fake date making bracelets, and a farm, where he realized
making 'stars and galaxies' together was way more better than one night stands.

He just couldn't run away when Taehyung drew him close, holding his hand out to him as
though if he held on, everything they faced together would be okay.

Repelled by every thing else, Taehyung seemed to be the only one that he clung to. He was
his safety net; the home he would always go back to.

He was his person, his always. He was the only one that he managed to love more than
anything else.

And even though the idea of things being temporary scared the shit out of him, loving
Taehyung made him realize he had to appreciate everything— temporary or not—because it
still mattered.

Everyone and everything was still capable of being loved and giving love.

And despite how much he hated losing, he supposed if you didn't lose the things that meant
the most to you, you would never realize how important it was in the first place, or rather,
how to live life.

He was so set on one passion, he didn't realize there were other things he could pour himself
into, that he could love just as intensely.

But at the end of this, after all the pain and happiness that came with it, Jeongguk knew, deep
down, that he changed for the better.

All of this was for the better.

"You're quiet," Taehyung's eyes narrowed as the younger hobbled forward until the distance
between them was mere an arm's length away.
"Is everything alright?" He asked, brows furrowing when Jeongguk removed his crutches and
rested them against the wall.

"Love can't describe how much I love you," Jeongguk threw his arms around his neck, nearly
catching Tae off guard, making him stumble back to support his weight.

"That's funny, 'cuz I love you more than love too," Taehyung chuckled, wrapping his arms
around his tiny waist, holding him so close their thighs pressed against one another's.

"Seriously, the defintion of love isn't enough," He said, fingers entangling with the long
curtain of hair behind Taehyung's neck.

"What's gotten into you?" Taehyung asked, leaning closer. "Why the sudden confession?"

"Because," Jeongguk whispered, but before he could continue on with how much he fucking
love him and a dramatic ass speech that might end with some kiss (he missed kissing him),
his phone rang in his pocket.

"One second," He grumbled, pulling back to get his phone. He slid the call open, bringing it
up to his ears.

"Hello? Dad?" He raised an eyebrow at Taehyung, wondering what the hell his dad was
calling him so late for.

"I have some news for you, kiddo," His dad said into the phone. Jeongguk's expression
softened as he brought his phone between Tae and him, putting it on speaker.

"And what is that?" Jeongguk asked, glancing back and forth from Taehyung's concerned
expresion to the call.

"Japan made an offer."

"They did what? Why? I'm injured," His brows knitted together into a bunch when his dad let
out a laugh. He glanced at Taehyung, but the older simply shrugged, just as confused as he
was.

"They love your ethic, so they proposed to help you get back on your feet."

"What?" Jeongguk gasped. "You're kidding."

"I'm not. They want you to come to Japan, go to school there, while also participate in their
rehab in their elite team center," His dad said.

Eyes splaying wide, Jeongguk whipped his head up to meet Taehyung's gaze, not at all
expecting this. He mouthed oh my god repeatedly, smacking the older's shoulder in
excitement as it took every fiber of himself not to explode and jump off the walls.

This couldn't be happening. Fuck.

"I'll give you some time to answer, but this is a really good deal, Jeongguk. They want you to
go right after graduation. Give it some time, and maybe you can make it to the Olympics,"
And with a few clumsy goodbyes, the call ended.

"You have to take it," was the first thing Taehyung said.

"But," Jeongguk started, still stunned, only to have a hand clamped over his mouth. Taehyung
shook his head.

"You're going to take it," The older murmured softly, removing his hand from Jeongguk's
mouth to cup the side of his cheek.

"We were going to go to college together," He whispered, but the older simply shook his head
again.

"Gguk, this was your dream," Taehyung pressed, however, it was Jeongguk's turn to cut him
off.

"You are my dream. Dreams can be added to, Tae, and you," He grabbed his face between his
palms, thumbs running over his cheeks. "Are part of it."

"Did I say I was going to leave you? No. I'm saying, this is your second chance. You got your
second chance with me, Gguk, and look at us now," He whispered tenderly.

"You'll regret it if you don't take it," Taehyung said, watching as the boy deflated in front of
him. "Don't toss away your chance at getting something you love back for me."

"It's not worth it."

"I beg to differ," Jeongguk pouted, meeting his loving gaze (which was also kinda scary what
the fuck), nose scrunched.

But eventually, he let the older's words settle in, and he couldn't help but agree. This was his
second chance, and he wasn't sure if he could ever get an opportunity like this ever again.

"Alright, but this really fucked everything up," The younger let out a broken laugh, his
forehead leaning foreward, pressing against the older's.

"What do you mean?" Taehyung asked, running his thumb over the curve of his cheek.

"I was literally gonna profess my undying love for you in some big ass speech and then kiss
you, but I guess that has to be put on hold, huh?" Jeongguk whispered. At that, Taehyung's
gaze softened.

"Gguk, you know that wouldn't have been a good idea," Taehyung said. Jeongguk froze,
raising an eyebrow at him.

"Me confessing and kissing you... or?"

"Us getting back together right now wouldn't be a good idea," The older corrected.
Jeongguk's lips curved into an oval, his shoulders sagging.

"Shit, no, you're right," Jeongguk pulled his face away from him, unable to miss the way
Taehyung's lips were pressed into a frown. "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking."

"No, it's fine," Taehyung chuckled a little. "You know the saying, right person, wrong
timing?" The other nodded.

"I think that's us," He said, to which Jeongguk rolled his eyes at.

"No duh, who else would it be," Jeongguk snorted, placing his hands on Taehyung's
shoulders. "Okay, but I get your point. We couldn't even date for longer than a month."

"Long distance might not be the move."

"I'm not saying I'm not considering the idea, being yours, again," Taehyung teased, pinching
his cheek, which made Jeongguk swat his hand away.

"But I just got you back. I don't wanna lose you."

"Yeah, no, I get it. Gosh, could I take back the whole confession and kiss thing? Like correct
it with, I'm gonna confess my love and then reject you?" He asked, earning a snort from the
older.

"One day, you can kiss me again," Taehyung smirked, "but not now. Some other time. You go
work on getting better, alright?"

"But if I can't kiss you, does that mean you get to kiss other guys?" Jeongguk asked. "Okay,
no, ignore that. When I leave, feel free to date whoever you want."

"HOWEVER, you gotta let them know I was your boyfriend first okay? And you gotta let me
facetime them so I can make sure they're good for you, okay?" Jeongguk tried to be
threatening, but he couldn't when Taehyung was staring so fondly at him.

"If only I get to do the same for you," Taehyung nodded, hand sliding down to cup the side of
the younger's neck.

"Fine. That's a deal. I know you will never find someone as funny and sexy as me though,"
Jeongguk teased, lightly smacking the older's chest, the two of them snickering softly.

"I guess this is it. We're breaking up again," The younger breathed out, the laughter finally
dying down, leaving the two of them just staring at one another.

"Okay, but," He whispered, voice slightly breaking. "Can I like kiss your cheek? I really miss
fucking kissing you already."

"Gguk," Taehyung warned, but of course, he gave in. Jeongguk sucked in a shaky breath,
unsure why a cheek kiss was making his hands all clammy and gross like a premature
teenager, but it was.
He eventually gathered the guts to lean in slowly, lips hovering over the soft patch of skin.
Closing his eyes, he pressed his lips firmly against his cheek, lingering there for a few
seconds, his hand placed over the other side of Taehyung's cheek, holding him in place.

When he pulled back, the audible sound of his lips pulling away filling the heavy silence, he
leaned his forehead against the side of his cheek, exhaling shakily.

"M'gonna miss you," Jeongguk whispered, running his fingers over the curve of Taehyung's
jaw. "I'll call you every day, and you gotta visit, okay?"

"Promise," Taehyung sounded strained as he held Jeongguk's waist closer, as if he would let
go now, the moment would end and neither of them wanted that.

"Fuck, I love you," Jeonggum murmured against his cheek. "I'll always fucking love you."

Taehyung pulled away, body curving into his as he held him tight, crushing him in a hug. He
buried his face into the side of his neck, inhaling sharply as his fingers dug into Jeongguk's
back.

"I'll keep loving you even though you're going away," Taehyung mumbled, "Take care,
alright?" He said, sniffling a little when he pulled back.

"Study hard while m'gone," Jeongguk tried to make a joke to lighten the mood, but he
himself began to choke over his own words.

"Yeah," Taehyung nodded stiffly, eyes glossed over with his own tears. "I love you."

"I love you too," Jeongguk repeated, knowing he would say those words for the rest of his
entire life.

"Always?" Taehyung asked, chuckling weakly as he tried to wipe at the tears falling from his
eyes with the back of his palm.

Jeongguk nodded, saying fuck-it and wiping away the older's tears for him, holding his face
ever so delicately. Fuck, he knew this wasn't the end for them, but he couldn't help but hate it.
Hate that he was leaving him when they finally got back together.

"Always," Jeongguk whispered back, meaning every word. "Can you promise me one more
thing?" The older nodded.

"Best friends?" It was ridiculous, but at that, he chuckled, the sound sounding more like a soft
sob before he nodded again, eagerly this time.

Taehyung wiped at his eyes, smiling wide. "Best friends."

 epilogue
Chapter Notes

took forever but we're here now (:

See the end of the chapter for more notes

— 2024
june. korea.

"So you're coming right?" Jeongguk's face popped up on the facetime screen the second the
call connected, greeting Taehyung with the same old bunny-tooth smile spread wide on his
lips.

"I already showed you my luggage," Taehyung said, chuckling softly when he held the phone
toward his bed, showing his things. "I'm coming."

"Good, 'cuz when you watch me play, I want you sitting at a specific angle so you can see me
be all cool and shit," He declared.

"Like, you gotta see my godliness when I spike. You flew all the way to see me, so."

"I know. I'll be sitting exactly where you can see me," The older set his phone down on his
desk, angling it so Jeongguk could see him walk around his room.

"You better 'coz you're my lucky charm, hyung," Jeongguk let out a laugh. Taehyung rolled
his eyes, unable to hide the smile tugging at his lips.

"Without you, I don't think I can play well."

"Shut up," Taehyung grumbled while the younger giggled, "you have to play well. This is the
Olympics we're talking about."

"Okay but, I feel stronger when you're there," The younger pouted, crossing his arms.
"Seeing you makes me all energized."

"Sure it does," He chuckled a little, rolling his eyes as he slipped some shirts into his suitcase.
"The Olympics won't be the same without you Specs," Jeongguk declared.

"You're part of my dream after all."

"Shut up."

"But it's true. M'not kidding. The Olympics is my dream, and so are you," He winked, being
the gross sap that he was, but instead of an eye roll, the older merely smiled back at him.

The Olympics.

Sometimes he still couldn't believe he was actually going to play there. It seemed impossible,
but with the extra help of Team Japan, and Jeongguk's drive to get better, he beat all those
odds going against him.

Although, it took four years of intense rehabilitation to get Jeongguk back on his feet, it was
all he ever wanted— all he ever worked for.

And after graduating high school and promising to stay as friends for now, they still managed
to never leave one another's side.

He already played his first national season back, and did really well despite his injury.
Jeongguk played a decent season for a player off injury, and Taehyung managed to go to a
few Japan home games and cheer him on with some old friends.

They also called one another every single day. The two of them would summarize their entire
day while doing college work, or sometimes they would go to restaurants and 'eat together',
not caring if they got weird looks because all that mattered was each other.

Other times, they put effort into seeing one another. Taehyung had to pick up an extra job on
top of his work at Hoseok and Jin's cafe to pay for all the plane tickets, but it was worth
doing so, flying out to see Jeongguk, even if it was only once every other month.

Nothing else really mattered except they got to be together. It was better than anything else
really, loving another without a serious label.

They were content with it, being friends, for it was healthier than they could ever imagine.

Yeah, they argued sometimes, and Jeongguk could be a little bitch about Taehyung unable to
make his monthly visit, or Taehyung would get paranoid if the younger didn't tell him why he
missed his calls for a few days.

Unlike when they were dating, however, they talked it out. They always made sure to corner
one another and do so.

If Taehyung missed a visit, Jeongguk would surprise him by going to Seoul (he made him cry
the first time he surprised him), and they would spend time, drinking cheap alcohol and
watching anime while they caught up with each other's lives.
If Jeongguk missed a few calls, he would explain it was because of their coach, and
Taehyung would badger the younger to keep him on a facetime call so he could watch him
practice during a class lecture to make him feel better.

Sometimes he'd even bully him into reading him to sleep after long days, making him tell
stories of his time in Japan against his ear over call, seeming as though he was right next to
him.

It was in the way they loved one another that the two of them just knew that by the end of the
day, they were always going to be okay.

"Hey Tae," The younger said, leaning his chin on the pillow he seemed to be hugging.
Taehyung glanced over at his phone, raising an eyebrow at him.

"You gonna say something sappy again?" He asked, arranging the shirts, tone playful.

"If what m'gonna ask you is your idea of sappy, then I guess," Jeongguk shot back, and even
though his side was turned to him, he could visualize his smile, teasing him without a word.

"Then shoot," Taehyung snorted. "If it's too sappy, I'll strangle you through the screen."
Jeongguk let out a laugh, and for a moment, he said nothing, the only sound being his breath
against the speaker.

Slightly impatient that the younger left him hanging, Taehyung teased, "Are you gonna ask
me a question—,"

"—Are you gonna bring your boyfriend to the Olympics?"

"W-What?" Taehyung choked, brows scrunched together as he averted his gaze back to
Jeongguk.

"This summer's Olympics is in Paris. It's the City of fucking Love," Jeongguk shrugged, not
phased at all.

"You're still dating Seojoon, right? He's a great guy, you should bring him."

"Gguk, it isn't a serious relationship," The older sighed, shoving his fingers through his
blonde hair, trying to avert from the topic because he certainly did not call Jeongguk at one
a.m. to talk about somebody else.

"You introduced him to Warren and Siwon," He pointed out, propping his elbow up and
resting his cheek against his palm.

"It seems pretty serious to me."

There was this other thing, about the two of them being really good bestfriends.

When it came to dating, all of the people they've dated in the last four years technically dated
the other person, too.
Taehyung's boyfriends probably got an earful about Jeongguk from time to time, and of
course, when he was in town, they all hung out. The same went for Jeongguk and his
partners. However, they all knew their boundaries, after all, they were just friends.

But if the people they dated couldn't accept that they were friends, the relationships never
really lasted more than few pathetic weeks. They each had their fair share of jealous partners
that couldn't wrap their heads around the fact they had a real close bond.

However, sometimes, they got lucky and found people worth falling for.

Jeongguk had his relationships, and from what he heard, the current when he was in was
doing good. Taehyung, on the otherhand, was dating Park Seojoon, this rising actor at his
college, for almost five months now.

Seojoon was sweet and kind and gentle and really fricking dreamy. He was perfect, like, the
guy was really really perfect. They had arguments sure, but Seojoon made it so easy?
Taehyung didn't even believe they were dating to be honest.

"How about you? Aren't you bringing Jisoo?" He asked, returning his attention back to his
packing, face slightly red. He didn't want to think about it right now.

"We broke up lmao."

"Oh?" Taehyung said, head whipping back to the camera. "When?" Jeongguk simply
shrugged, carding his fingers through his dark hair.

"A month ago?" He chuckled to himself when the older's eyes widened. "I didn't tell you
because I knew you were gonna beat me."

"Yeah because Jisoo was a really sweet girl. She was good for you," He countered, voice
softening, but the younger wasn't having it. "Gguk, she was it."

"No she wasn't," Jeongguk snorted, drumming his fingers over his cheek. "We weren't going
anywhere, and it was sad, y'know? We barely even spoke to one another. I had volleyball, she
had her med school."

"So? You two seemed happy."

"The keyword is 'seem'," Jeongguk rolled his eyes. "Tae, you know this happens all the time.
Why are you even surprised?"

"Surprised that whenever you reach, what, more than three months with somebody, you say
you hit some dead end and dump them?" He raised an eyebrow at him.

"Kinda, yeah," Jeongguk breathed out, the laughter tumbling past his lips sounding a bit
empty, tired even. "I don't know. We clicked, and then we didn't. It is what it is."

"So you're single now?" Taehyung asked, folding his shirts, mocking offense. "And you
didn't tell me?" He added, trying to lighten the mood, not really down to deal with the heavy
tension enveloping them.
"Did I have to? If I announced that I'm suddenly single, would you run back into my arms?"
Jeongguk teased, evoking a snort from the older. If only he was there, he would hit him for
making his face all gross and hot.

"Don't be stupid," Taehyung whispered to him, their gazes meeting through the phone
screens. And in a softer tone, he murmured—

"You know I would, dumbass."

The younger simply cracked a boyish grin before hanging his head, prompting the other to rip
his gaze away. Awkward. Nice one, Taehyung.

"Anyways, it's over. I'm single in the City of Love. You, however, aren't. Go bring Seojoon.
He has your parents' approval, yeah?" Jeongguk asked, quickly changing the subject.

"Warren and Siwon like him," Taehyung bit the inner wall of his cheek, nodding along,
somewhat thankful Jeongguk didn't prod any further. "Said he was sophisticated."

"Oooo," Jeongguk gasped. At that, the older shook his head, chuckling to himself. "So you're
into sophisticated guys, huh? Makes sense from what you wear."

"You dress like an old English professor."

"I do not," Taehyung's nose scrunched together as he pushed his hair behind his ear. "You
dress up like a broke college student but you're richer than me."

"I mean, I could dress sophisticated," Jeongguk suggested, smirking when Taehyung rolled
his eyes at him. "Wouldn't I look sexy in coats?"

"Don't even start," He quickly said, holding back a giggle.

"Come on," the younger groaned, "Anybody would get down on their knees if I spoke fluent
poetry and wore slacks and oxfords."

"Would you get on your knees for me?"

"No," He repeated, nearly letting out a laugh, "Please, you're ridiculous."

"Get on your knees Tae," Jeongguk smirked fondly at the older who was hiding his face,
which was practically on fire and redder than a tomato at this point.

"And tie my shoes, peasant. Shine them while you're at it." Well, that killed everything.

"I hate you," He whispered, refusing to look back at him, hating the way his stomach twisted
into knots.

"No you don't," Jeongguk grinned. "Admit it, I'm so hot, it would evoke your hot inner desire
to tie my fucking shoes for me."
"Never. You'd look the same," Taehyung told him, and it honestly wasn't true (he'd probably
look great), but the other seemed to ignore him. Of course, he was still as childish as ever.

"Admit you have a fetish for tying my shoes for me."

"Now . I don't have a kink for tying your shoes."

"The flavor lacks in your answer," Jeongguk rolled his eyes, though he sucked at looking
angry by the big ass smile on his lips that exposed his front teeth.

"I can tell you're probably a kinky little shit. C'mon, admit it."

"I hate you," Taehyung's lips stretched into a smile mirroring the other's.

"No you don't," Jeongguk mused. He was right. He couldn't possibly hate him.

"Hey Tae?" He hummed. "Are you excited to see me?" The younger proceeded to ask, never
hesitating about jumping from one topic to another no matter how weird he was being.

That was probably the only thing that never changed in Jeongguk as he got older. He was
twenty one now, but he was still stupid as ever.

"You missed our visit last month. Still kinda hurts."

"I know," The older ran his hands down his face, exhaling tiredly. "I know, it wasn't my fault.
I didn't get my paycheck in time. I'll make it up to you."

"By tying my shoes for me?" Jeongguk wiggled an eyebrow at him. God, he wanted to punch
him. Maybe he would when he would see him tomorrow.

"Shut up," Taehyung grumbled, fisting at his hair as he scanned his room for things he was
missing. "I'll buy you a gift or something."

"Or you can see me at the airport tomorrow and give me the biggest hug ever?" The younger
said. "Like, when I see you, can you run into my arms?"

"Run into your arms?" Taehyung lifted a brow at him. Jeongguk nodded eagerly, doe eyes
sparkling.

"Yeah, like in dramas. We haven't seen one another in like a million years—,"

"— barely even three weeks," The older corrected him. Jeongguk glared at him, prompting
the other to hold his arms up in defense, shutting up.

"Before I was rudely interrupted," Jeongguk's eyes narrowed at him. "I was saying that when
I see you at baggage claim, you drop all your shit, I hold my arms up, and you run, like full
on fucking speed at me. Like embrace your inner naruto—,"

"— Where is this going?" He asked, biting down on his lip, trying to hold back his laughter
from how ridiculous the younger was being.
"If it makes you feel better, embrace your inner speed."

"Jeongguk, what?"

Jeongguk ignored him, "And then you jump into my arms and I catch you! And I go 'Ahhh I
missed you' and I spin you and you hold my face and then I set you back down and crush you
in a hug."

"You done yet?" Taehyung asked, walking around to grab his phone off the desk before
crashing down on his bed, the mattress sinking from his weight.

"Bells fucking ring because I haven't seen you, and I continue to crush you and you can't
breathe but it's okay I have permission to suffocate you."

"Permission to suffocate me—?"

"—Then you tell me you miss me, and I hug you again because I love all your hugs. Then
bam, end scene," He whispered, resting his cheek against his knuckles.

"You in?"

"God, we'll look ridiculous," Taehyung stiffled a laugh behind his wrist, leaning back into his
pillow, hair sprawled over his forehead.

"As long as I look ridiculous with you, m'good. If I go down, you go down with me. If
Seojoon objects, I'll just ask him to recreate it with me," Jeongguk said like it wasn't a
problem.

"See, nobody gets left out. Even your boyfriend gets a piece of me." He winked.

"If you were here, I'd punch you."

"Of course you would," Jeongguk laughed, eyes scrunching in a smile that matched the one
on his lips. "But you gotta bring Seojoon. I think I wanna hug him too."

"What is your obsession with him? You're not gonna steal him aren't you?" Taehyung asked,
rolling over on his side, holding phone close as though the younger was lying down right
next to him.

"No, because he's perfect for you," Jeongguk, his voice deeper, warm, even, like he could feel
it from the screen and blow over his face. "I support it."

"You support any of my relationships," Taehyung said, the corners of his lips quirking
upward when he rolled his eyes.

"What kind of best friend am I if I don't? But m'not joking. He's a good guy, your parents
approve, and he treats you right," Jeongguk shrugged, leaning back into his pillow, bending
an arm behind his head.
"Personally, I like Seojoon way better than the other guys. Remember Idol Trainee you
dated? That was a mess," Jeongguk snorted, and of course, ripping up buried embarrassing
memories right to the surface.

"Oh! And that other guy— wasn't he American?" He hummed, ignoring the way Taehyung's
brows bunch, frown evident on his lips. "He had no sex drive."

"Not only did his dick show up late, he seemed to forget shit too," Taehyung muttered flatly,
wincing at the memory.

"And that's why I hate him," He said, "He didn't deserve you."

"You say that every time somebody does something wrong," He moved his wrist aside,
unable to stop the grin from unfolding over his lips when he met the younger's eye.

"Yeah, 'cuz it's true," Jeongguk said. "You're godly. No guy deserves you unless they go
through me, or they're just so perfect and unhateable."

"And Seojoon fits that?"

"Honestly?" The younger sighed, brushing the brown fringe away from his eyes. Part of
Taehyung, the selfish, stupid part of him that seemed to hold onto his personality from
highschool wanted Jeongguk to say no. To tell him Seojoon wasn't right and that he should
keep looking.

Why? Taehyung knew the answer, but he wouldn't admit to it— it'd be stupid. Too stupid to
say that he wanted Jeongguk to tell him all the guys he had dated weren't the one for him, for
the answer was right in front of him.

The answer being a particular volleyball addict with a penchant for shitty sexual jokes and a
bunny-tooth smile he could stare at for hours.

But of course, he wasn't going to say that outloud.

"Yeah," Jeongguk eventually said, resurfacing the older from his thoughts. He blinked,
refocusing his attention on the younger.

"He deserves you. I can't find a reason to dislike him."

"That's new," Taehyung breathed out, "usually you could find a flaw and clown me for dating
a guy that likes mint chocolate chip." At that, it coaxed a smile out of the younger.

"You know I was kidding," Jeongguk giggled, the sound addictive to Taehyung's ears.

"I know, but I can't forget you calling him a heathen everytime I talked about him."

"In my defense, he's still a heathen 'cuz he broke your heart."

"I guess so."

"But anyways a few rare people deserve you, so. He passed the vibe check," He muttered
quickly. "He got my Jeongguk stamp of approval."

"He did?" Taehyung asked softly, voice merely a whisper. Jeongguk nodded.

"Well yeah, like that guy? He made you the happiest I've ever seen you. Like, with Seojoon,
you smile more y'know? You're always grumpy 'coz of school and he makes you laugh 'n
shit."

Dumbass, Taehyung wanted to say, but instead his teeth bit down on his bottom lip. You were
the one who made me the happiest. Perhap Jeongguk knew that, but of course, he knew his
boundaries.

He always did. That respectful little lovable shit.

"Who else deserves me then?" Taehyung raised an eyebrow at him, clearly catching the
younger off guard by the way his lips gape open and close, sealing into a tight line as he
looked away from the camera.

"O-Oh uh, well, t-that's a good question!" Jeongguk cleared his throat, scratching the side of
his neck. He held the phone beside him, smiling gently while he watched Jeongguk stumble
over his words.

"I-I'd like to think—,"

"—Do you belong on that list?"

"U-uh, w-well, I dated you before so I automatically get in," The younger saved smoothly
much to the older's expectations.

"I am the Jeongguk stamp of approval." At that, his lips cracked into a beginning of a smile.

"B-but," Oh no. "That ended a long time ago so on that list, I technically retired myself. I
deserve you, but at the same time I don't so," Jeongguk rambled, blinking rapidly as he
struggled to let out each word.

"What are you trying to say to me, Tae?"

"Nothing," Taehyung whispered back, gaze flitting down for a mere second before looking
back up and meeting the younger's eye.

Breath suddenly hitched in his throat, he reluctantly reached forward, the pad of his index
slightly tracing Jeongguk's cheek over the screen. He watched the younger continue to
stammer, all red faced and eyes wide, missing the way Taehyung was staring ever so fondly
at him.

It was like old times, and for a moment, he seemed to be transported back to their dorm and
their little twin bed where their bodies were crammed together. He remembered tracing his
features, smiling, he always smiled with him, while he spoke.
He always spoke so carefully at night. He wasn't very loud like he usually was. Jeongguk at
night was more calculated and calm, though at times, he would be goofy and would say the
dumbest of shit.

But for some reason, when sleep lathered his voice and each vowel was deeper and held more
meaning, Taehyung liked those moments the most. Like this one. The nostalgia lingering in
his mind wasn't helping, but he appreciated it.

After all this time, he still appreciated Jeongguk.

"Ah fuck," Jeongguk said, glancing at something off camera. "Look at the time. We need to
get up early tomorrow."

It was only two in the morning, but he guessed he needed to sleep even if his body was used
to it. He nodded, watching the younger's chest rise and fall, focusing on the way Jeongguk
never met his eye and somewhat wishing that he would.

Maybe he could see what he was thinking. See that he was thinking of them. Or rather, how
they used to be.

They were really close nowadays, maybe he could have read his mind. He probably already
did, but Jeongguk chose to be dense and ignored the obvious more often than he should.

Maybe it was to protect him, to protect himself. It made sense, after all, hurting each other
was the last thing they wanted to do.

"The faster we sleep and get there, the faster I get to see you," Jeongguk said, finally meeting
his stare, the biggest bunny-tooth smile on his lips albeit tired.

"Alright," Taehyung nodded, swallowing as the other waved goodbye to him. He did the
same, twiddling his fingers at the screen. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Of course. You gotta run into my arms, remember?" Jeongguk chuckled a little when the
older's nose scrunched together.

He curved his thumb and index into a finger heart, smiling widely. "Aight, this is goodbye
Specs."

"Specs? That's an old nickname," Taehyung breathed out a laugh, adjusting the glasses that
he forgot were resting on his nose.

"Well, it's a good one," As if on cue, Jeongguk yawned, arms stretching above his head,
biceps flexing. "Okay, g'night. I'll text you."

"I know you will," The older said, waving, thumb hovering over the end. "Night, Ggukie."

But of course, right after the duo bickered over who got to end the call for another thirty
minutes than promised.
However, the younger eventually passed out from exhaustion, giving Taehyung no other
choice but to sleep after deciding it was creepy to watch Jeongguk cuddle into his pillows
with a content, dreamy smile over his face.

"You haven't told him yet?" He glanced up mid-stretch to see Jimin standing by his bedroom,
door, leaning against the frame.

"About what?" Taehyung asked, charging his phone on the side table as he propped himself
up onto his elbows.

"Seojoon," Jimin said, legs dragging him to the edge of his bed. "You haven't told Jeongguk,
have you?"

"Well, I was," Taehyung whispered, fingers carding through his hair. "I was going to, but it
slipped my mind."

Right, the actual reason he called Jeongguk tonight was because he had something else in
mind.

He was going to tell him that things with Seojoon ended with a crash and maybe even a little
burn a month ago. No, scratch that, it burned. It burned pretty fucking bad, but of course, he
chickened out when Jeongguk started to talk about how perfect Seojoon was and he shut up
real easily.

"You should tell him," Jimin nudged his ankle. "Both of you are single. It's been four years.
You guys are technically already dating."

"No we're not," The younger of the two kicked Jimin's back, rolling his eyes. "Don't say
that."

"I mean, it's true," Jimin chuckled, tucking his newly dyed pink hair behind his ear. "Even
Seojoon saw it. That's why he dumped your ass."

"We broke up mutually," Taehyung grumbled, grabbing a pillow from beside him and hitting
the older square on the back with it.

Jimin snatched the pillow away before chucking it right back at his face, "No, I watched him
dump you. Specifically, he said 'you're not as invested as I am and I want somebody who's in
100%' to you."

"Ouch, no need to remind me," The younger sighed, flopping backwards onto the bed,
groaning lowly.

"I have to, or else you won't tell Jeongguk," Jimin said in a matter of fact tone. "Why did you
chicken out? You guys called for what, an hour? That's plenty of time."

"I know."

"And isn't Jeongguk single? Heard shit with Jisoo ended fast from Jae."
"Yeah he is," Taehyung covered his face with his palms, muffling his words. "But Chim, I
couldn't. He kept going on and on how Seojoon was perfect for me. How he made me so
happy and shit. He thinks he's the one for me."

"Bullshit," Jimin snorted. Taehyung moved his hand aside, peering at the older, confused.
"Jeongguk knows he's the one, but he's just being nice."

"Or, he's acting like a good friend," The younger snickered, dodging Jimin as he tried to hit
him with another pillow.

"Don't repeat shit from highschool," Jimin cried out, shaking Taehyung's leg. "You're driving
your actual friend insane, here. All of us rooted for you guys for the last four years. I hated all
your relationships."

"I don't know if that's messed up or not," Taehyung said, blinking at the older. "Should I be
offended?"

"No, maybe? I don't know. Probably," The older shrugged. "But haven't you noticed a pattern
with all of your exes? You always break up because of one thing."

"And what's that? Enlighten me," Taehyung said, now sitting up against the headboard, knees
brought close to his chest.

"Because," Jimin said, crawling up the side of the bed and pushing Taehyung aside to make
space for him. He watched slightly impatient as Jimin kicked off his leather loafers to the
side.

"They're not Jeongguk."

"Of course they're not Jeongguk," Taehyung scooted a little bit to accommodate the older.
They rested flat on their backs, shoulders brushing against one another's.

"Yeah, but you'll never move on to the next level unless it's with Jeongguk," Jimin corrected.
"You can't argue with me, 'cuz it's true. Tell him you broke up with Seojoon and date him
already."

"It's not that easy," He whispered, only to be met with a loud slap. However, as he flinched
away, he snuck a glance over at Jimin, seeing he facepalmed himself.

"It's been four years, Tae. You guys do all the dating shit already. You call everyday, you fly
to see one another. You two just need the push to make it all official," Jimin ran his hand
down his face.

"I know, but," Taehyung hugged the pillow between his arms close, burying his chin into the
material.

"It's hard to just go 'hey I like you again' after dating different people for four years."

"So you're not ready?"

"Why do you sound disappointed?" Taehyung frowned. "You took forever to finally talk to
Yoongi."

"That's different. I didn't know he was a big composer at the music company I'm trying to
work for, and we're NOT dating. I left Namjoon and Yoongi in the past," Jimin grumbled,
elbowing his side. "But seriously, it's been four years."

"He might not have feelings for me," Taehyung argued. At that, Jimin scoffed, facepalming.

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say," Jimin pinched the bridge of his nose.

"But like, I mean it. What if he doesn't like me? He's had some rough relationships in the
past, y'know."

"I know but Tae," Jimin exhaled unevenly, shoving his pudgy fingers through his hair.
"Listen. You're finally both single. You love another. You both know how to work
relationships— you'll be careful."

"It all adds up, and plus you two kept each other waiting long enough."

"I...I'll think about it, okay?" Taehyung settled with, covering his face with the pillow. "Let
me sleep on it."

Honestly? He didn't want to think about it. It was an excuse, and Jimin surely knew it the
second it left his lips. But Taehyung just wasn't ready. Sure, he had four years to learn from
his mistakes, and yet, the idea of dating Jeongguk still terrified him.

Call it some sort of irrational fear from the last time they dated, because that whole fiasco
fucked him up back then even still, when things between them were better.

And although he was twenty-two now, which was very much different than how he acted as a
eighteen year old, in the back of his mind, he knew he wasn't ready.

He was a coward, afraid of making the same, stupid mistakes. Afraid that if he made another,
he knew they couldn't recover from it a second time. They already used their second chances
on one another.

Maybe when he wasn't scared shitless, he would consider it. But for now? He wanted to
sleep.

"You make decisions yourself, not with your bed," Jimin mused, but of course, he knew not
to push any further than he already did. So, instead, he pulled the thin blankets up to their
waist.

"Sleep well, little bitch," Jimin flicked the side of Taehyung's head. The younger groaned,
mumbling something about cutting off his dick, but Jimin ignored him like he usually did.

"Tomorrow," He declared as Taehyung twisted around, covering his ears with the pillow,
"You're seeing your Jeongguk again."
♡♡♡

— 2024
june. paris.

Jeongguk remembered why he didn't like airports.

They were awfully stuffy, crowded with people, and sometimes too humid depending on the
country he went to for volleyball matches. Plus, there was a lot of walking to be done, and
the knee brace he wore would piss him off after a few hours of standing around, but it was
what it was.

But today, his annoying knee wasn't on his mind, or the fact he had his first Olympics games
starting next week.

It was Taehyung. It was always Taehyung.

He was a little giddy, to be honest, after they ended their call. He couldn't sleep properly
without being too excited, and he kept twisting and turning in his sleep, ready to see his best
friend.

Sure, it had only been three weeks since the last time they saw one another in the flesh, but
how could he not miss him? He needed his monthly dose of being able to hug Taehyung, to
actually feel him in front of him— it helped him function.

Certainly, there weren't any other reasons. Pfft.

"We're in fucking Paris!" Yugyeom skipped to his side, eyes blown out on his features while
he spun, taking in the entire airport. "Paris, Jeongguk!"

"I know," Jeongguk chuckled, leaning on his luggage while his free hand slipped out his
phone, trying to check if Taehyung's flight landed. It should have.

"You thinking about him already?" Yugyeom asked, adjusting the collar to his Team Korea
jacket. He tried to look over at his phone, but the older was quick to whip it away.

"It surprises me how you two aren't dating one another yet," Yugyeom snorted, patting his
back roughly. Jeongguk nearly stumbled forward from the sheer force.

"Did you just try to spike my back?" Jeongguk raised an eyebrow at him, wincing as his
fingers grazed over the spot that stung.

"No," The younger mused, "I just tried to knock the dumbassery out of your body~!"

"Well you're the dumbass. You shouldn't even be with me," Jeongguk snorted, nudging the
younger away from him, lips folding into a crooked smirk.

"M'sorry, I naturally gravitate toward the Jeon Jeongguk," Yugyeom let out a laugh. "Plus,
my teammates are boring. They're good players, but we're not necessarily friends."

"Your chemistry fools everyone then," The older scratched the side of his neck, nose
scrunched along with his eyes in his usual smile.

"Well yeah, same goes for you and Taehyung, Mr. Team Japan," Yugyeom teased, ignoring
the eyeroll from his friend as he flicked the zipper to his bright red Team Japan jacket.

"How many times do I have to tell you, we're just friends," He put an emphasis on friends,
but the other naturally wasn't having it.

"You say it everytime, but do I believe you? Nope," Yugyeom shrugged.

"Taehyung has a boyfriend."

"Does he though?" The younger merely said, evoking a rather confused lift of a brow from
Jeongguk himself.

But before he could argue back, from the corner of his eye, he caught a figure standing still in
the distance among the crowd surging forward that seemed to part for only them. Jeongguk
practically forgot Yugyeom was beside him when he tried to focus his vision, struggling to
believe this was it.

He had been here before more times than he could count, and yet, Kim Taehyung still
managed to steal his breath away.

Unrealistic— that was how he described Taehyung and his overgrown blonde hair that fell
over his eyes, his white, cuffed tee cinched at the waist with a matching leather belt and
paired with loose beige slacks. On top of his blonde waves were a pair of sunglasses and on
his lips, a bright smile that beat any piece of jewelry he could ever wear.

He realized that as they got older, his beauty was simply unrivaled by anyone else. He grew
into every feature, the softness he fell for in highschool growing hard and sharp and broad; it
was defined in ways that made him appear sculpted— like fine art.

Honestly, Jeongguk couldn't quite see why annoying teenagers bullied him to feel as if he
was ugly when Taehyung was practically its antithesis.

Kim Taehyung was incomparably beautiful.

When Taehyung caught sight of him, Jeongguk's entire chest seemed to clench with the way
the older's expression seemed to blossom with light. He lifted two fingers and waved, and in
seconds, the older was speeding his way over to him.

Jeongguk tried to not let the fact that Seojoon wasn't there affect his thoughts. Maybe the
actor was busy, and Taehyung couldn't bring him along. Perhaps he just didn't want to go.
Either way, all thoughts that badgered his brain melted away with every second Taehyung
approached him.

He spread his arms out, waving his fingers while his lips spread into the biggest, most
ridiculous grin he could muster, but Taehyung simply shook his head. The older strode
toward him, biting back his smile and teasing at his damn lip like he always did.

Jeongguk didn't want to admit it, but it honestly drove him crazy. In a totally friendly way of
course.

"You didn't run into my arms," Jeongguk grumbled, making grabby hands at Taehyung when
the older man stopped in front of him, eyeing him up and down.

"We'll attract attention," Taehyung said, voice the same, but for some reason, their video call
audio never did his deep voice justice. In person, it was just as smooth, as heavy, and rough
and perfect.

"You're wearing your team jacket," The older reached forward, tugging at his red collar. "You
look like a cherry."

"Don't shame my country's colors, Taehyung-chan," Jeongguk flicked the older's chin, a
ghost of a smirk playing on his lips, "and who cares if we attract attention?"

"I do," His features creased as he laughed, the sound never failing to make Jeongguk's
stomach flutter.

"But fine, I guess I'll hug you." He said, setting his sweater over his luggage only to be
crushed into a hug by the younger.

Jeongguk pulled his body close, arms caging him into his body. He held him by the back,
knowing it wasn't his place to hold his waist anymore, and there was so much he couldn't do
without disrespecting their friendship boundaries so he tried to keep it simple— platonic.
Taehyung leaned into him, his hands splayed and pressed over the expanse of his back. He
couldn't quite see his face, but he knew the older was smiling, and fuck, it hit him right then
and there how much he missed his cologne, his detergent, his warmth.

Practically everything because it was motherfucking Kim Taehyung.

He wanted the hug to last forever, but he knew it couldn't be like that, so reluctantly, he
pulled himself away. Untangling their arms, Jeongguk swallowed, nearly flinching back from
how close their faces were for a split second.

"So," Jeongguk tried to clear his throat, stepping backward, giving themselves that safe
distance which Yugyeom snorted at. "Where's Jimin?"

"He couldn't come," Taehyung explained, crossing his arms over his chest. "Something came
up at work, and he couldn't leave."

"That means you're alone right?" Yugyeom cut in. The oldest of the trio nodded slowly, his
brows knitted together in a bunch, silently stating that it was pretty fucking obvious.

"Well shit," Yugyeom laughed, the sound coming out rather awkward as he patted Jeongguk's
back with the same crushing force. "I gotta go."

"But Tae just got here," Jeongguk knew where this was going, and maybe Taehyung did too,
seeing that it was Yugyeom— the guy sucked ass at being subtle.

"I have to be with my team," Yugyeom said, cupping the side of his neck with a palm as he
gave the duo an apologetic grin. "We're heading to the Village."

"Already? To do what?" Jeongguk raised an eyebrow at him. Yugyeom snorted, reaching

back to grab the handle of his luggage.

"Check out the infamous condom dispensers man. They give out condoms there like free
candy!" He snickered, already walking backwards to leave them alone. Jeongguk rolled his
eyes.

"Your boyfriend's in Korea," He called out after him, couldn't help but let out a snort as
Yugyeom nearly tripped over the wheels to his suitcase.

"Chill! M'just gonna go collect some condoms. You two enjoy Paris. It's the City of Love~!"
Yugyeom blew them kisses before disappearing into the crowd, his Team Korea jacket
blending in with the flow of other travelers.

"Condom collecting, huh," Taehyung was the first to speak once he was out of sight, his
elbow playfully digging into Jeongguk's side. He yelped, pushing his arm away.

"Why are you hitting me?" Jeonnguk asked, swatting at the older, who was chuckling softly
to himself.

"'Cuz it sounds like something you'd do," Taehyung said in a matter of fact way. Jeongguk
scoffed, now his turn to jab at the older's side.
"M'not here to collect foreign condoms, Specs," He sighed as the older stifled a laugh behind
a smile.

"You sure?" He wiggled his eyebrows at him.

"It's totally my dream to collect condoms— no, of course not," Jeongguk rolled his eyes.

"I know stupid," Taehyung said, flicking his chin. Jeongguk grinned back at him, trying to
ignore the way his stomach fluttered at the simple yet familiar gesture.

However, he didn't dwell on it for too long, seeing that it wasn't his place to. So, with a clap
of his hands, he gestured at Taehyung to grab his bag.

"Where are we heading to first?" Taehyung asked, attaching to Jeongguk's side as the two
scan around the busy baggage claim, searching for an exit to get out of here.

"To your hotel," Jeongguk said, his free hand curling around Jeongguk's wrist, lightly tugging
along when he finally found the exit not too far where they stood.

"Aren't you supposed to be at the Olympic Village?" The older pointed out, not questioning
as Jeongguk tugged him along, pushing the thought of how close their bodies were pressed
together to the back of his mind where it should belong.

"I'll go there later," He said, not looking over his shoulder. "Why?"

"I don't wanna bother you," Taehyung replied.

"You're not bothering me," Jeongguk came to a stop, a frown decorating his lips as he stared
over at the older, who was smiling back at him, and for what reason? He didn't know.

"Tae, I literally asked you to fly here for me."

"But aren't I in the way of your dream?" The older mused, furthering the crease between
Jeongguk's brows, but before he could give him a fucking essay that he was part of his dream
so he couldn't possibly get in the way of things, Taehyung cut him off—

"Your dream of collecting Parisian condoms to add to your international condom collection!"

"Fuck you," Jeongguk rolled his eyes, ignoring the deep, smooth laughter that flowed past the
older's mouth, filling his ears with a sound sweeter than honey itself.

"You love me," Taehyung giggled, letting Jeongguk pull him past the sliding doors and into
the heat of the summery Parisian afternoon.

"Of course I do," Jeongguk grumbled, sparing a glance over at him, not a single drop of
hesitation in his words. "You're an idiot."

"An idiot indeed for flying all this way just to get manhandled," He teased, another burst of
bubbly laughter accompanying his rectangular smile as the younger's face flushed red.
"M-Manhandled?" Jeongguk stammered, lifting up Taehyung's limp wrist. "M'just touching
you!" He shook his hand, face undeniably hot.

"Jeongguk-ah," Taehyung chuckled, amusement twinkling in his softening eyes, "I'm messing
with you."

"Messing with me," He muttered, dropping his wrist, realizing a bunch of people were
probably staring at them. Jeongguk gulped, scratching the side of his burning neck
awkwardly.

"Ggukie," Jeongguk's eyes widened, suddenly caught off guard by the older's fingers
pinching his cheeks together, forcing him to meet his eye.

"Yes?" Jeongguk grumbled sheepishly, pouting when he squeezed his cheeks again, hating
how flustered he was.

"I'm really happy to see you again," Taehyung's smile seemed to widen, which seemed
impossible until now, the rectangular box straining against his cheeks.

"It's been a hot minute," Jeongguk agreed, hand reaching up to rub his cheek when the older
finally let go. "But m'not sure I feel the same though."

"Sure you don't," Taehyung snorted, nudging his side, his eyes shining as he draped his arm
over Jeongguk's shoulders, their sudden close proximity making the younger's eyes splay
wide at his unexpected touchiness.

"Fine," Jeongguk said, glancing between the older's hand secured on his shoulder and the
smile Tae had been giving them— and oh shit, their faces are too close— fuck.

"What?" Taehyung asked, raising an eyebrow at him. Jeongguk gulped, adam's apple bobbing
nervously as he craned his neck away, panic (yes, panic) fluttering in his tummy.

"I should go get a taxi," Jeongguk pulled the older's arm off of him, the laugh he forces out
doesn't come out very real, sounding more pained than not.

Taehyung raised an eyebrow at him, mouth opening to say something, but in his moment of
sheer panic and this weird awkwardness he hadn't felt since middle school all thanks to
Taehyung deciding that "hey, let's be waaay more touchy than usual!" of all things, Jeongguk
slaps his palm over his mouth.

"Mmf?" Taehyung mumbles against his hand, which Jeongguk kept over his lips, brain short
circuiting when the older's intense gaze fell on him. Fuck.

He shouldn't be feeling this way! It wasn't right! This was certainly just Taehyung messing
with him— it shouldn't be such a big deal. Heck, over the last four years, he was hella touchy
with him and Taehyung was able to keep his composure.

But here he was, going mad just because Taehyung touched him more than usual. Okay, that
sounded waay too sexual— fuck, now he's overthinking, and Jeon Jeongguk does not
overthink, or well, unless it was Taehyung.
And in that case Taehyung was standing in front of him, as a person, with flesh and woah, his
best friend looked good like, really good like any other good friend— oh god, he was
screwed.

"I-uh, well, fuck, taxi, yes," Jeongguk pulled his palm away, now laughing uncontrollably
despite the look of concern contorting Taehyung's golden features.

"You good?" He asked, reaching out to touch him, but Jeongguk quickly swerved his hand,
face on fucking fire as he gave Taehyung his suitcase.

"Taxi," Jeongguk jabbed his thumb over his shoulder to the curb where other travelers were.
Taehyung nodded slowly, not quite sure if he should let him get it, but he did anyway.

However, right before Jeongguk could calm himself down so he wouldn't make a bigger fool
of himself (hey, you couldn't blame him for being unprepared) the older called his name.
Turning around, Jeongguk gulped, replying with a timid yes.

"Did any bells ring?"

"What?" The edges of his lips fell into a frown.

"The bells, like y'know, when you hug someone that means a lot to you—,"

"Taxi," Jeongguk repeated firmly, whipping around to hide the way his face was tinged
crimson as he went to go get a goddamn taxi, trying to drown out these fucking butterflies
and Taehyung's laughter teasing him from behind.

♡♡♡

After dropping their luggage off at Taehyung's hotel room, the duo set out to the streets of
Paris, having more time on their hands since they arrived a few days early before the
Olympics could officially start.

"Do you know how to speak French?" Taehyung asked, staying close to Jeongguk's sides as
the duo ended up at the Champs-Élysées, walking down the sidewalk as all kinds of tourists
and Parisians flooded the area.
He didn't know why they decided to come here of all places, but it was the first thing their
taxi driver suggested, and Jeongguk said it was trademark of Paris so why the fuck not.

Much to Taehyung's high expectations, it was kinda cramped, a bit dirty, and undeniably hot
among all the bodies packed onto the streets. Taehyung was also a bit jet lagged, for it was 10
in the morning, but he shook off the exhaustion, focusing his energy into seeing the sights
and Jeongguk's awe-struck smile.

"I learned a few phrases on the plane ride here," The younger replied, now without his
notable Team Japan uniform and in a pair of light ripped jeans and a button-up striped shirt
cuffed around his wrists.

"Anything useful?" He kept his grip light over his elbow, guiding Jeongguk around the
crowd. He pressed his shoulder against his, staying close so he wouldn't lose him.

"Not really. I know how to ask basic directions and where to find places," Jeongguk
shrugged, his voice a little strained, Taehyung had noticed but decided not to comment on.
He was probably tired.

"It's so fracking hot here," Taehyung said, changing the topic, grunting softly when
somebody bumped into his shoulder and apologized in French, "Gosh, there's alot of people."

"They're probably all here for the Olympics," He said, to which the older hummed in
response. It was reasonable— there were a lot more diverse tourists.

"You wanna go somewhere else?" Jeongguk asked, concern flashing in his doe eyes when
somebody brushed shoulders with Taehyung, the older's body lurching forward.

Jeongguk's thankfully there to catch him, "No. It's fine. We can head over to the Arc de
Triomphe!" He said, pointing in the distance where the massive arc stood at the heart of the
shopping avenue.

"It's an arc," Jeongguk wiped at the sweat collecting on his brow with the back of his hand.
Taehyung rolled his eyes.

"Well sue me for wanting to spend time with you," He snorted, pinching Jeongguk's elbow,
evoking a small yelp from the younger. "I could be sleeping in my hotel room, but here I am,
with you."

"Hey, you didn't have to pinch me," Jeongguk pouted, craning his head to look over at
Taehyung, who was already staring at him, this fondness softening his usual hard gaze.

"I pinched you out of love."

"I refuse to believe that," The younger scoffed while Taehyung let out a chuckle, rolling his
eyes as the two allowed their feet to move with the flow of the crowd.

"Can you not hold my elbow?" He whined, swatting the older away. Taehyung raised an
eyebrow at him.
"How else do you want me to not lose you? A leash?"

Jeongguk choked on air, his eyebrows shooting up on his forehead, "What? N-no. Don't be
ridiculous. M'a grown man, Specs. I can walk."

"A grown man that needs a leash," Taehyung teased, heart skipping in his chest when
Jeongguk's cheeks flush a particularly deeper shade of rose pink.

"Oh shut up. I can fucking walk on my own," He declared, stepping away from Taehyung. At
that, the older lifted a brow, watching as Jeongguk walked ahead of him, occasionally
glancing over his shoulder to make sure Taehyung was looking.

And he was, of course. His eyes were always on him.

"See! M'walking fine," Jeongguk turned around, walking backwards, which probably wasn't a
smart idea, but Taehyung guessed it was Jeongguk. None of his ideas that required common
sense were smart.

"Take my fucking picture Specs," He declared, crossing his arms over his chest, a smug smirk
fitting over his lips. "I can fucking walk."

"Wow, you're walking. That's such a great human achievement— you're using your legs!"
Taehyung said, sarcasm dripping over his words.

"I totally don't know how to use my legs."

"Okay, don't need to rub that shit in," Jeongguk scoffed, suddenly apologizing when he
almost bumped into somebody.

Taehyung snickered, making sure to leave a good distance between them so he could save his
ass. But when Jeongguk's face turned to look over at him, he pretended to snap a picture of
him with his fingers.

"What are you doing?" Jeongguk asked as Taehyung closed one eye, focusing the other
within the box he formed with his two hands.

"Taking your picture," Taehyung said, the edges of his mouth tugging upward when
Jeongguk got the hint and began to ridiculously pose.

God, he was so stupid. Jeongguk made finger hearts, posing in dumb ways. Sometimes he did
a peace sign, eyes comically wide and lips puckered while Taehyung pretended to click
pictures. The younger went on, placing his palms beneath his chin to form a flower, the
apples of his cheeks rising with every second to accompany the toothy grin that blossomed
over his lips.

Taehyung couldn't help but laugh at him, the sound bubbling in his throat and tumbling out
effortlessly with each cheesy pose Jeongguk pulled off. It was easy, fuck, he forgot how easy
it was to be happy with Jeongguk.

Jeon Jeongguk could literally just breathe and his heart would swell with happiness.
Happiness. That was something he couldn't get enough of being with Jeongguk. Something
that he missed dearly, something from their old relationship that made loving Jeongguk this
never ending rush of serotonin and adrenaline he couldn't really forget no matter how hard he
could try.

And perhaps that was why his heart was lurching and these butterflies erupted in his stomach,
making him all light and airy and euphoric and careless, for all that mattered was Jeongguk in
front of him.

He missed this, and god, it wasn't too bad— this taste of what could have been, what could
be.

But before he could dwell on it further and let himself finally feel this without restraint,
Jeongguk tripped and was suddenly flying backward.

Luckily, Taehyung surged forward, one hand on his hip, the other stabilizing his back, and
among the mess, Jeongguk's arms wrapped around his neck in a haphazard attempt to catch
himself. Taehyung grunted, managing to lift him back up, and oh—

They were close. So, so close, he nearly brushed his nose against the tip of Jeongguk's, and
holy frick, too much time had passed since they had been this dizzying close.

"Hi there," Taehyung whispered, stunned, watching as Jeongguk's adam's apple bobbed
nervously, the younger's bottom lip caught between his teeth.

"Bonjour?" Jeongguk forced out awkwardly, thick eyelashes batting as he reluctantly met
Taehyung's hooded gaze, his pretty doe eyes twinkling with all sorts of emotions he couldn't
pinpoint.

"Bonjour?" The older asked, a hint of a laugh edging his words, palm absentmindedly
squeezing his waist, which evoked a small yelp from Jeongguk.

"Don't mind me," He said, vowels wobbling, "just trying to connect my uh, French roots."

"French roots?" Taehyung cocked an eyebrow at him, stifling a laugh, teeth teasing at his
bottom lip.

"Yes, and why are you, um, holding me?" Jeongguk squeaked, gesturing quickly between the
two of them.

"Because you were being a dumbass," Taehyung said, gently pulling Jeongguk and himself
out of the way and to the side when he noticed people were giving them weird looks for
blocking the flow of the crowd.

"I don't need a leash," Jeongguk blew his cheeks out, rounding them into cute little squishy
pillows that took every ounce of Taehyung's will not to pinch.

"I know," He said, swallowing when he glanced down, seeing his hand was still on the dip of
the younger's waist and right on top of his own were Jeongguk's.
Although it was faint, Taehyung's throat tightened at the subtle brush of Jeongguk's fingers
over his. Sure, it was nothing, for it was quite the elementary thing to be all jittery over
touching hands. He was 22, for god's sake, but then again, it was Jeongguk.

Every little jolt, little firework, and the incessant throb of his heart made him miss him in a
way that he couldn't really describe just yet.

"We should get to the Arc," Jeongguk said, snapping him out of his thoughts and giving
Taehyung quite the reminder that what he was thinking was stupid.

There was no way he could ambush Jeongguk with feelings the younger probably didn't
return. They spent years loving each other as friends, supporting one another through every
relationship, every messy break up, all at a respectable distance.

There was this distance— a gap — that they created and Taehyung wasn't sure he had the
confidence to fully jump across. Hell, he still had to tell Jeongguk he broke up with Seojoon.
Clearly, he wasn't ready.

Fuck, he needed more time to think this through.

With that, he let go of the younger, tilting his head aside to hide the faint presence of a blush
that seeped onto his cheeks. Warm, he was too warm with the sun and Jeon Jeongguk being
the cutest little shit right beside him.

"To the arc?" He cleared his throat, tapping Jeongguk's shoulder to signal him they should
keep going. Hoping it wasn't awkward, he held his breath for a response.

"Sure," Jeongguk turned to him, meeting his stare like nothing even happened (he ignored the
pang in his chest) and gave him the brightest smile that made him melt all over again.

"Let's get going then. Together?" Taehyung asked, already beginning to walk with Jeongguk
by his side. But before he could get any further, he felt a tug on the back of his shirt.

Whipping around, he saw it was Jeongguk, and as he opened his mouth to speak, he noticed
the younger's ears were burning red, his gaze averted to the floor. He let his lips fall shut,
pressing into a firm line, watching as finally Jeongguk lifted his head up, his doe eyes
managing to make Taehyung's breath hitch.

"Together," Jeongguk mumbled, tugging weakly at the back of Taehyung's shirt. At that,
Taehyung's expression brightened, feeling the edge of his lips effortlessly tug upward into a
fond smile.

"Together," He repeated, gently prying Jeongguk's fingers off his shirt and instead, slinging
his arm over his shoulders. Cute, he thought, watching the younger duck his head the other
way, and with matching smiles, the two of them set on to the Arc de Triomphe.
♡♡♡

There wasn't much to do at the Arc de Triomphe, so they just took pictures, uploaded it to
Instagram, and went on their way to the metro to go to some museum.

"Specs, there's a photobooth!" Jeongguk gushed, tugging at Taehyung's wrist as the two
entered the metro station. It was small and had Photomaton in blue letters over the side, not
something you would go to Paris for, but since the younger was excited, he tagged along.

"C'mon!" Jeongguk was already holding the curtain aside. Taehyung, however, eyed the
cramped seat, wondering how they're going to sit there together.

"Can we even fit?" He asked, ducking inside, gaze scanning the bright, blinding white booth.
Jeongguk shrugged, gesturing at him to sit down.

"You sit. Your fat ass takes up two seats," He giggled, earning an eye roll from the older.

"I don't know if that's a compliment or insult," The older grumbled, sitting down anyways
while the younger snickered over by the side.

He was right about it being cramped. When it was Jeongguk's turn to sit, the younger almost
fell off.

"Noted. This can only fit two asscheeeks and a half," Jeongguk pouted, staring down at
Taehyung who was obviously taking up the entire seat.

"Then sit on me," Taehyung shrugged, the words slipping out of his mouth before he could
stop himself. He winced, knowing it was probably a bad idea, and when he tilted his head up
to gauge the younger's reaction— he nearly laughed.

"O-okay," Jeongguk swallowed, blinking rapidly, the pink of his tongue swiping over his
bottom lip but he made no move to sit.

"Hurry up," Taehyung scolded lightly, fingers coiling around Jeongguk's wrist to tug him
down. "We have a train to get to."

"Jeez, fine. I'll sit on your lap... respectfully," He added quickly as Taehyung's other palm
settled on his hip. Awkwardly, Jeongguk lowered himself onto Taehyung's lap, sitting stiffly
on top of him.
"You comfortable?" Taehyung asked, wincing a little at how most of Jeongguk's weight was
channeled on his right thigh, but he could manage it.

The only thing he couldn't possibly want was getting a boner, but to be honest, he was
jetlagged, sweaty, and in a bit of pain to really pop one down there.

No matter how fat Jeongguk's ass was, this wasn't quite setting the sexy mood, really.

"M'sitting respectfully," Jeongguk said, not making an effort, and luckily he already selected
most of the things so all they had to do was take a picture.

"You're so fricking heavy," Taehyung muttered against his neck, having to lean forward to the
best of his ability with a heavy body crushing him on his lap.

"Don't do that," Jeongguk swatted at his chest when Taehyung leaned back as the timer began
to count down. Taehyung breathed out a quiet why, fixing a peace sign over his cheek. "It
tickles."

"Well your ass is huge. In a heavy way," He let out a laugh.

"Sorry I have a dump truck of an ass," Jeongguk snorted, not at all sounding sorry, which
evoked a smile from the older.

"You don't mean it."

"Well, you're right. I can't fully apologize for having no power over the size of my dummy
thick asscheeks."

Taehyung burst into laughter as Jeongguk matched him, the two of them having matching
peace signs and smiling wide until a flash nearly left them blind in their seats. Ouch.

They had another ten seconds, so the duo made ridiculous faces at the camera. Jeongguk
stuck his tongue out, eyes rolling the other direction, while Taehyung did a stupid double chin
that honestly kinda hurt but it had Jeongguk nearly doubling over in laughter.

For the last picture, Taehyung decided they needed at least one good photo for the memories.
So, he hooked his chin over Jeongguk's shoulder, his arms wrapping around his tiny waist.

Jeongguk didn't seem to question it, their eyes meeting on the screen, neither saying a word
as the older snuggled against his shoulder. In fact, after a few moments watching gears turn in
Jeongguk's head, he leaned his against Taehyung's.

Taehyung couldn't breathe. Not in a "oh i'm kinda suffocating" but more like Jeon Jeongguk
was so goddamn beautiful it was impossible to not be smothered by how effortlessly pretty he
was and how effortlessly it looked seeing them this close.

He knew no relationship was effortless; Taehyung learned that firsthand. But this, sitting
here, with his arms holding him close, and Jeongguk resting his head on his, a content smile
spread over his lips, it felt effortless.
Like they didn't need to put much effort into being comfortable together. Like all of this was
just part of their nature. Like this, this was meant to be.

Frick, this was hard.

It lasted as long as ten seconds, unfortunately, and when it was over, Taehyung resurfaced to
see Jeongguk was climbing off his lap, signifying the end of the moment.

Unable to see his face, which probably saved him, for the stupid butterflies in his stomach
were eating him up with this fluttery, light feeling that made him feel like he was fricking
floating.

Whatever this was, he couldn't seem to shake the smile off when he got out to see Jeongguk
with their photos in his hand.

"Quality's shit," Jeongguk handed him one, his eyes wide with excitement and the gigantic
smile he wore exposing his cute front teeth.

"It is," Taehyung admitted, failing to bite back his smile as he stared down at their ridiculous
photos, knowing right away his favorite was the last one.

The one where they kinda looked like a couple, but he wasn't going to say that out loud.

"Good thing we're both high quality dudes," The younger nudged his side. "Hey, don't we
look like a couple?"

Taehyung nearly choked, "What?"

"A couple of besties," Jeongguk finished, looking smug with himself, and god, he really did
ruin the moment. Taehyung rolled his eyes, slipping the photo into his wallet.

"You're an idiot," He sighed, grabbing Jeongguk's wrist, heart thrumming in his ears as he led
him to the platform with Jeongguk snickering happily behind him.

♡♡♡

At this point, Jeongguk was pretty sure Taehyung was bullshitting his way through this art
exhibit.

They ended up at some museum, not the Louvre because they decided it would be too packed
and they didn't have the energy to deal with it, but the art here probably wasn't any different.
Jeongguk didn't understand why Taehyung wanted to come though.
Taehyung wasn't an artist. Hell, the guy couldn't even draw and said so himself he didn't have
the ability to be an artist. But here he was, arms crossed and two fingers perched over his
chin as he stared at the painting in front of them, seemingly focused.

They had been at it for almost an hour. Walking by all kinds of portraits, landscapes, and
splashes of color Jeongguk couldn't really find a deeper meaning of without bullshitting it.

Taehyung would sometimes stop and stare at one painting for a particularly long time. He
didn't say anything, he just stood there, eyes raking every piece and occasionally humming.

For a while, Jeongguk found it cool that Taehyung could understand the paintings. Or well,
maybe he just thought so because as he snuck glances at him from time to time, he found the
way he studied each painting closely, endearing.

It was the little crease between his brows, and the way he'd nibble at the edge of his thumb,
or how he'd squint and tilt his head to the side that made being here worth it. Seeing him
interested was enough for him even if he didn't get any of this.

There was this power Taehyung had to make any moment with him enjoyable. Ever since
high school, Jeongguk would find himself even enjoying the little, boring moments because
Taehyung was just being Taehyung.

Genuine. Funny. Thoughtful. Effortlessly beautiful. He couldn't deny the fact that in moments
like these, Taehyung made his world feel real, and felt a bit more grounded.

To say he missed this would be an understatement.

He fucking missed Taehyung. In every possible way, big or small, relevant or not, he missed
him. Sure, it had only been three weeks since the last time they saw one another, but
Jeongguk just couldn't seem to get enough of his best friend.

Hell, he loved him. Loved him in every shape or form Taehyung allowed him to have the
privilege of.

But standing here, right next to him, shoulders barely brushing and his gaze lingering on
Taehyung, who was so focused on the paintings, for a little too long, Jeongguk realized he
loved him more than anything.

He would always love Kim Taehyung as his best friend.

As the two ventured on, he thought the older must have picked art up as a hobby in the last
four years since Taehyung was bent on staying at some pieces for a little longer. But he
quickly realized that wait, Taehyung wasn't an art major.

And then Taehyung's thoughtful hums started to break into stifled fits of laughter when he
started to get suspicious, which honestly, broke his cover the second he started to laugh.

"You're not really analyzing them, are you?" He said, slipping his hands into his pants
pockets as the older covered his mouth with his fist.
"No— I mean, yes, yes I am," Taehyung chuckled softly, glancing over at Jeongguk, the
edges of his lips quirked upward into a smile.

"Liar," Jeongguk snorted, reaching over to pinch the other's side, but Taehyung pushed him
away, giggling more abundantly as they spilled freely past his lips.

"Do you even understand art?" He asked, watching as the older pushed a lock of blonde
behind his ear and shook his head.

"Not really," Taehyung admitted, a rectangular smile fixed on his lips, growing impossibly
wider. "But I'm thinking though."

"Thinking about what?" Jeongguk turned toward the piece of art, brows already furrowing
the second his gaze fell over it.

It was a Claude Monet painting of two blurry women standing on a green cliff, overlooking a
blue sea with boats on a nice cloudy day. Or well, in basic terms. Jeongguk didn't know how
artists described stuff like this, and he wasn't going to test his vocabulary.

"That," Taehyung pointed at it, "like I'm thinking of little backstories for them. Like why are
they on the cliff? Stuff like that." He said, running his hand in his light hair.

"Can you tell me why then?"

"What? No, it's," The older breathed out a laugh, fisting at his hair before gesturing his palm
at the story, "it's stupid."

"Tell me," Jeongguk teased, nudging his side, but the older wouldn't quite budge. "C'mon. I
won't judge."

"No," Taehyung sealed his lips shut. Jeongguk sighed, rolling his eyes as he shoves him
lightly.

"Speeeeeecs, you know I wouldn't."

"I know," He chuckled, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. "But like, it's
boring. It's nothing saucy or anything."

"Oh my god, Tae, you can't leave me hanging after watching your ass stare at every painting
like it's some well done porno," Jeongguk snorted.

"I did not stare at it like some porno."

"Uh, yeah you did. Or, you were undressing the painting with your eyes. Very sexy, Specs,
but we're also in public."

"Jeongguk—,"

"Shhh it's all good," He held his hands up in defense, unable to control his laughter, eyes
scrunched and nose all crinkled. "I'll accept you for your exhibition kink."
"Oh my god shut up," Taehyung groaned, covering his face, the tips of his ears turning a cute
shade of pink.

"Never. Not unless you tell me," Jeongguk teased, forgetting how fun it was to make fun of
him like this.

Taehyung rolled his eyes, "Okay, fine. Jeez, you promise you won't laugh though, alright?"
Of course, Jeongguk ended up laughing anyways. The edges of the older's lips dipped into a
frown.

"I told you not to laugh," He grumbled, making a fist and weakly punching his shoulder.

"M-M'sorry," Jeongguk gasped, holding the flat of his stomach as Taehyung shot him glares.
"Okay, sorry. Go ahead. I got it out."

"I hate you," Taehyung muttered, nose scrunching when Jeongguk tapped the bottom of his
chin. "Now I hate you more."

"Tell me your porno plot pretty boy," Jeongguk cooed, patting his chin again, even giving it a
good stroke just to piss the older off more. He snorted loudly when Taehyung swatted his
wrist away.

"First of all, it's not a porno," Taehyung grumbled, rolling his eyes for the umpteenth time as
he turned back to the painting. "It's a love story."

"So porn with plot?"

"No," He said, "a sweet lesbian lovestory."

"Ooh so they're gay? Do tell me more, Taehyung senpai," Jeongguk gushed, grunting out a
low oof when the older elbowed his gut.

"Jeez, sorry."

"You better be."

"Anyways," Taehyung mused like nothing happened and he totally didn't elbow him at all.
"They're two forbidden lovers— Laura and Eliza. They come from noble families and they
go out on secret dates."

"So they're like 'yo dad I'm gonna go hang out with my girlfriend. It's totally hetero, don't
worry"?"

"Basically," He nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. "They go on strolls and they fall in
love. They used to hate each other too. Laura thought Eliza was a gold digger."

"Ooh spicy. Some angst. We love angst."

"So, they talk and slowly become friends, and they end up trusting each other with their past
history," Taehyung went on, "and they find out they're both being wed to men in a few
months."

"Damn conflict," Jeongguk whispered, holding his hands up in defense once more when
Taehyung's elbow threatened to punch him again.

"They fall in love," Taehyung said, "hard. The kind of love where you fall irrevocably hard
and all of it feels right and that person is the one for you. They're so in love nothing could
describe it."

"Sounds like a win for the gays."

"And they want to be together, but they can't. Laura is going to be wed to a duke in England.
Eliza was gonna stay back in Paris," Taehyung whispered, "but as days dwindled, they
realized they couldn't live without each other."

"So what happens?" Jeongguk asked. Taehyung shrugged, tapping his index over his cheek.

"They go to this cliff and jump off!"

"Jesus christ," Jeongguk's eyes splay open. Beside him, he watched as Taehyung chuckled
softly to himself, staring at him, his gaze softening.

"That's uh, really brutal?" Jeongguk cleared his throat, "like, you thought all of that up just
then?"

"Everything up until the ending," Taehyung hummed. "I dunno, I just wanted to freak you out
with the grand finale."

"Well, m'more concerned," He said, the edge of his lip tugging upwards. "It's a good story.
Would read. 10/10 content. Except the last part, I really hate angsty endings."

"Then how do you think it should end?" The older beamed, his attention now focused on
Jeongguk, amusement dancing in his eyes.

"I wouldn't kill them," Jeongguk shrugged, "and I think they'd run away together if they made
each other happy. Like, I imagine Eliza being the biggest butch lesbian and building them a
cottage."

"And Laura would tend the animals and she would embroider cool shit and sell it. Eliza
would work hard, and when it's done, they can have hot, intense cottage lesbian sex," He said
nonchalantly. Taehyung snorted.

"Hot lesbian sex? Really?" He raised an eyebrow at him. Jeongguk nodded, the smile he wore
stretching wider over his lips.

"Nothing can go wrong with hot lesbian sex," He declared, not realizing how loud he said it
until he felt a tap on his shoulder.

Jeongguk whipped around, eyebrows raised high on his forehead seeing a short, old Asian
woman and her American husband in tourist get-up. Confused, he opened his mouth to speak,
but she cut him off—

"This painting is a priceless antique, and this place is a famous French art museum," She
wagged a finger at him, spitting out rapid fire Korean that left Jeongguk stunned.

"You children need to learn to respect the beauty of art and its raw meaning! Keep your
vulgarities at home! Goodness, your parents must have not taught you any manners, child,"
She spat out.

"M'sorry ma'am," Genuinely afraid for his life right now, Jeongguk squared his shoulders,
even bowing a little to the old woman.

"So you do have an awareness of manners," She grumbled, crossing her arms and thankfully
taking a step back, giving Jeongguk a chance to breathe properly.

"Respect the paintings and the other viewers. You children nowadays need to learn the
defintion of respect," The woman grumbled, walking away with her timid husband to another
exhibit, leaving the duo behind.

Neither of them said anything, both too shocked to actually comprehend what just happened.
That was, until Taehyung let out a snort.

And honestly, it was all downhill from there.

"Oh my god," He pressed his fist over his mouth, trying to silence the laughter spewing past
his lips.

"You were so fricking scared!"

"How else was I suppose to look?" Jeongguk asked, voice slightly strained as he ran a hand
down his face, hating how hot his skin felt beneath his palm.

"God, I haven't been scolded like that in years," He sighed softly, pinching the bridge of his
nose before letting his arms drop to his sides in defeat.

"Especially by a stranger, huh?" Taehyung reached over, his palms cupping the sides of
Jeongguk's face, squeezing at his cheeks.

"Are you mocking me?" Jeongguk puffed his cheeks out, lips pursed into a pout. Taehyung
simply laughed, the sound gentle, sweet, and not at all mocking but he decided it was
anyways.

And oh, he probably should have freaked out that the older touched his face. Taehyung
usually never did, but he brushed it off, guessing it was just to make fun of him. Yes, that was
the reason.

Totally not because of anything else.

"No," Taehyung said, letting go of his face (Jeongguk didn't realize he was holding in his
breath), a lopsided grin decorating his features.
"But I won't let you forget a small old woman called you out for shouting about lesbian
porn."

"I hate you," Jeongguk grumbled, receiving another pat of pity on his cheek.

"Lesbian sex, Jeongguk. Lesbian sex."

"Fuck you."

"Hooot Leeeeesbiaaaaan sex."

"So, are we heading out of here?" A sulky, deflated Jeongguk trudged after Taehyung as he
moved on through the exhibit, though this time he wasn't stopping by paintings to make
bullshit plots about them.

"Yeah," Taehyung nodded, throwing his arm over his shoulder, a rather popular gesture in
their outing today. There were bonus points if Taehyung's hand twirled locks of hair that fell
over his nape.

"This shit sucks. We're out of here."

"Then why did you wanna go here?" Jeongguk asked, brows furrowed, stopping in his tracks.
Taehyung turned his body, angling it so he was standing in front of him, an arm draped lazily
over his shoulder.

"Because," Taehyung smirked, gaze oddly intense that somehow had Jeongguk shifting
beneath it after all these years, his free hand reaching over to flick his chin.

"It's part of the Paris experience I wanna share with you, stupid," He merely said, words
enough to make Jeongguk's heart twitch. A twitch he didn't miss.

A twitch that left him wordless and all his brain cells practically depleted. Jeongguk opened
his mouth to speak, though no words seemed to come out, so with little grace, he shut his
lips, licking at them while the older's throat rumbled, a soft, teasing sound tickling his ears.

"Cute," Taehyung said, tousled his hair one final time with a scrunch of his nose, and he
walked off, not caring that he left Jeongguk behind, unable to comprehend that just happened.

Unable to comprehend why it happened.

♡♡♡
"I think the jetlag's catchin' up to me," Jeongguk yawned, head lolling onto Taehyung's
shoulder the second the two plop down onto two free seats on the metro.

"Tired already?" Taehyung asked, hand shooting up to catch the younger's head from rolling
off his shoulder, the cusp of his palm settling on his neck.

"Kinda," Again, another yawn. "But I wanna be with you."

"We have today and tomorrow," Taehyung chuckled warmly, but he couldn't deny the way his
heart clenched, too endeared by the younger's sleepiness.

"Want it to never end though," Jeongguk murmured, voice thick, words slightly slurring.
"'Cuz after, we won't see each other for a while."

"You don't know that," The older said, hand creeping up and entangling strands of Jeongguk's
hair around his fingers, slowly massaging his scalp.

"I do. I'll be in Japan, and you'll be far away. I wanna make the most of our time," Jeongguk
whispered.

"Me too, Gguk. Me too," Taehyung said, watching the metro doors slide shut, the last of the
people finding seats, words dying on his lips as the younger exhaled softly.

"You wanna go back to the hotel to rest a bit?"

"No. J-Just let me rest my eyes."

"Why not?" He asked, but it was too late: he already dozed off. Taehyung held the younger's
head closer, trying to make it comfortable as he began to snore quietly, the exhaustion of the
day taking over.

"I want this to last too," Taehyung said, running his fingers through Jeongguk's hair,
breathing easing as he listened in to the sound of wheels clacking against the rails, the
mechanic whir of the metro car, along with the pitter-patter of his heart in his chest.

It wasn't a lie, really. This was nice— sitting together on a metro somewhere beneath the city
of Paris, listening to a french song filter through the muddled speakers, and a tired Jeongguk
with his face buried in the crook of his neck, snoring in contentment.

In fact, this entire day was probably the best time Taehyung had ever spent with anyone.

He supposed this was what he lacked with Seojoon, why he never found himself invested all
the way like he was with Jeongguk. And as much time as he spent with him, the little
moments like these he usually skimmed over, never really dwelling on them.
But with Jeongguk, all of these little moments, they mattered. Whether it be watching in
amusement as Jeongguk failed to read a French metro, his brows cinched together in
concentration as he traced every line, or walking among crowded streets, holding onto
pinkies or belt loops to make sure they would never lose one another ever again— he looked
forward to them.

All of these little moments were what Taehyung was excited for, ones he sought and dwelled
on and constantly replayed in his mind, smiling aimlessly at how stupid and trivial these
moments were.

It made sense to date Jeongguk. Taehyung was an actual adult— not a teenager overthinking
every detail, destroying all he could with impulse and indecision, worrying that he wasn't
enough when he really was, but he was just too blind to see how much he was truly worth,
how much others were worth.

He messed up with him, and luckily, they managed to be together all this time as best friends,
stuck in this security of friendship where they could love each other but not really explore its
fullest potential without obstructing any boundaries.

Part of Taehyung, the foolish half of him wanted to explore that side again, and maybe, just
maybe navigate through loving Jeongguk better, loving Jeongguk the right way.

But the other half saw it as wishful thinking, these thoughts a product of being in a city filled
with couples and love folded into every nook and corner. Hell, today, Taehyung probably saw
dozens of happy couples, selfishly wishing he had that too.

However, it wasn't that easy, and although the younger version of him thought that they could
be together again, looking back at it as an adult, he was grateful they even lasted after how
terribly they treated one another.

Sure, they knew better now with experience and their bond was as strong as ever, but what
was the guarantee that they wouldn't repeat the worst? What if what happened wasn't as bad
as it could be? What if they couldn't make up afterward?

Was it even worth the risk?

"Y'know, you're everything I want," He eventually let out a sigh, the edge of his jaw tickled
by wisps of Jeongguk's unkempt hair bristling over his skin.

"But at the same time," He pushed aside a loose tendril, watching fondly as Jeongguk's nose
twitched before snuggling closer into him. Cute.

"You're everything I don't think I deserve."

♡♡♡

They crashed at Taehyung's hotel room for a few hours despite Jeongguk getting all whiny
about wanting to spend time with Taehyung, but the jet lag was so bad, they passed out and
ended up waking up at 11 pm Paris time.

There was no point lingering around at the hotel, and since they couldn't possibly go back to
sleep, Taehyung found a place to go to at night, and after putting on jackets, the two headed
out to find a laundromat.

"A laundromat? Like, a place where you do actual fucking laundry?" Jeongguk asked,
slinking his hands into his hoodie pocket, trudging side by side with Taehyung as they
walked down the stoned streets of Paris illuminated by hazy, yellow lamp lights.

"The reviews said it was cool," Taehyung shrugged.

"Tae, it's a fucking laundromat."

"I know."

"Clothes are cleaned there," Jeongguk deadpanned, not really sure if this was actually a good
idea. Both of them didn't know shit about Paris, and they were probably still hella drowsy.
All of this could be some fucked up tourist trap.

"I trust the reviews," Taehyung said nonchalantly, and his lack of concern was a bit troubling.
He was always worrying about something, so why didn't this qualify for some good old-
fashioned overthinking?

"Should I be like— y'know, kinda worried?" The younger asked, brows furrowing. "What if
we get kidnapped?"

"What makes you think that?" He frowned, nudging Jeongguk's elbow with his own. "It's a
laundromat."

"It's ass o'clock and we're going to a laundromat with no fucking laundry," Jeongguk cried
out, "this is giving mega 'we're gonna get kidnapped' vibes you dumb schnitzel."

"Schnitzel. That doesn't sound very French, Gguk," The edge of his lip tugged upward, thick
accent roughing the pronunciation, and for some reason it made Jeongguk's stomach flutter.

"Trust me, we're okay. We won't get kidnapped."

"Well now you fucking jinxed it."

"Okay, sorry," Taehyung rolled his eyes, "We will get kidnapped." Jeongguk elbowed his gut.
"Frick— I just said what you wanted me to say? What's wrong now?"

"I can just picture it. Olympian Jeon Jeongguk and dumbass friend held hostage by French
mafia," Jeongguk pretended to sniffle, only to receive a glare from the older.

"I don't think France has a mafia, you douche baguette," Taehyung snorted, kicking at a loose
stone at the ground.

"Well, there's got to be gangs," Jeongguk grumbled, picking up his pace when Taehyung's
strides started to beat his own. "Oh fuck you, stop walking so fast."

"We're the same height. You can keep up," Taehyung called over his shoulder, a shit-eating
grin as he began to effortlessly jog. Jeongguk groaned loudly, having to actually run to catch
up.

"Stop making me exercise. I technically have three days until I have to actually work out,"
Jeongguk huffed, reaching out to grab Taehyung, who seemed to be practically sprinting.

"Doesn't hurt to start early!" He teased, and fuck, he was doing this on purpose, huh?

"You little shit— stooop," Jeongguk cried out, trying to grab Taehyung, whose giggles
seemed to fill the crisp, cool air, making things lighter, like he was floating on the doses of
serotonin he gave him.

"My knees will literally snap if you test me."

"Okay, jeez," Taehyung came to an abrupt stop, chuckling softly when Jeongguk crashed into
his back, letting a low oof as his hand flew back to stabilize him.

"You really had to bring up your knee," He spun around, fingers curled around Jeongguk's
wrist as he peered over at the younger, brows knitted together.

"Sometimes you just gotta be desperate," Jeongguk pulled his hand back with a smug smirk,
shoving it into the safety of his hoodie pocket.

"It was a really bad joke though."

"I know, and so is my life," He winked at him and continued on, a slight bounce in his step.
He rolled his eyes at him.

"I don't know how I stand you."

"Then sit down if you can't take me, Taehyung-senpai~!"

"Was that sexual?"

"Could be. Actually, no. Don't be dirty minded."

"You're unbelievable," Taehyung said, snorting lightly when— "Wait. You're going too far,
stupid, come back."

"Shit, my bad," Jeongguk chuckled awkwardly, a sheepish smile replacing his smug smirk as
he back pedaled to where Taehyung stood in front of a small teal shop with glass windows on
the front, and there hanging was a pale aqua light that said Lavomatic.

"This is it?" Jeongguk blurted out, joining the older's as the duo stood in front of the door. "It
only has four laundry thingies." He gestured at it.

"This is it," Taehyung turned toward him, smirking the second he met Jeongguk's skeptical
gaze. "You wanna head inside?"

"I don't think there's much to do, but okay," He said, heading inside while Taehyung held the
door open for him. Jeongguk, still pretty fucking confused, watched Taehyung approach the
four washer tucked in the back.

"We don't even have laundry, Specs," Jeongguk pointed out, watching as Taehyung ran his
fingers over every machine, seeming to be looking for something.

"Patience, dear Jeonggukie," Taehyung scolded quietly, gasping out loud when he finally
found something. Jeongguk raised an eyebrow at him.

"What are you— what the fuck?" The younger's eyes jumped open watching Taehyung open
the fucking washing machine like a door. The fuck?

"C'mon!" Not all fazed, Taehyung gestured for him to join him, and reluctantly, Jeongguk
did.

It was pitch black, and being the idiot he was, he nearly tripped on the stairs, evoking a yelp
from his lips and a snicker from Taehyung.

"You really are hopeless," His deep, velvet words were coming from somewhere, but as
Jeongguk glanced up, he couldn't really make out his face in the grainy shadows.

"C'mere," Taehyung said, hand probably reaching out to grab his. Right before he could say
something snarky, the words died on his tongue the second the older's hand found his.

"Found you," He could hear the smirk in his smile.

Oh fuck, this was weird. Jeongguk swallowed the lump forming in his throat, trying to at
least come up with some coherent word without losing it, for his mind was focused on
Taehyung holding his fucking hand! Like, he was actually holding it.

It had been a while since they were like this. Fingers intertwined, palms fitting into perfect
places like two pieces of a missing puzzle had come together, finally complete once more.

And god, Taehyung squeezed his hand, cutting off his thought processes with a simple
gesture unable to be seen in the dark. It was weird, this setting, with Taehyung's smooth,
slightly larger hand enveloping his, which was full of calluses and rough patches, so surely, it
probably wasn't enjoyable to hold.

But Taehyung didn't say anything. Fuck, why wasn't he talking and why was he holding his
hand like this? No matter how many times Jeongguk tried to force the lump in his throat
down, he failed, unable to get rid of this stupid bubbly feeling.

This dumb, fluttery and warm feeling that flooded his chest shouldn't have existed. Hell, his
face was even all hot. What was he, a prepubescent teen?

When they reached the top of the staircase, he quickly dropped his hand once they came
across the door to an actual bar judging by the drink menu on the side. Taehyung didn't say
anything, which again, made Jeongguk shift awkwardly because he should at least say
something.

And when he did, it wasn't what he expected, "You down to drink?"

"Of course m'down to drink," Jeongguk said, shoving his fingers through his hair, trying to
calm himself down because he probably looked ridiculous. Hell, Taehyung didn't seem
affected at all, so why should he be?

"If you say so," Taehyung's gaze raked him over, inflicting a sudden wave of 'what the fuck'
to wash over Jeongguk as he lifted a questioning brow at him.

"What?" Jeongguk asked, eyes narrowing when the older chuckled softly. "Is something
wrong?"

"Your face," He reached over, pinching his cheek. The younger yelped, swatting his hand
away, his brows bunched together. "Why are you so red?"

"We didn't even drink anything yet, Gguk."

"W-Well it's kinda hot," Jeongguk stammered. "Why are you bullying me already? 'We didn't
even drink anything yet,'" He mimicked him in a higher tone, nose crinkled as he stuck his
tongue out at him.

"Sometimes I wonder if you're seventeen or twenty one," Taehyung flicked his chin, not all
threatened by the death glare Jeongguk gave him.

"Are you trying to fight me?"

"Nah," Taehyung said, but just as Jeongguk was about to reply—

"I'm trying to date you."

"H-Huh?" Jeongguk blinked rapidly, his words a pang shot straight through his heart,
erupting flames over his cheeks. He did not expect that, and right as he struggled to open his
mouth and put together a proper, coherent sentence, Taehyung tossed his head back,
laughing.
"I'm messing with you," He said, patting his stiffened shoulder, struggling to hold the smile
that settled over his lips.

"Don't say stuff like that," Jeongguk breathed out, only to be met with Taehyung's low
laughter as the two finally went inside the secret bar.

After pulling himself together, guessing Taehyung was just in a good mood, and all of that
surely didn't have a double meaning 'cause Taehyung had a boy friend somewhere out there,
Jeongguk watched Taehyung converse in English with the host.

He knew some English himself, and Taehyung was only speaking in the most basic of
sentences just to get his point across. But it was still a sight watching Taehyung's hands move
animatedly along with his words, brow strained only if you look closely to see him struggling
to come up with the right words.

Jeongguk knew better than to interrupt him, and he certainly knew better than to think any of
this had any romantic intentions. Sure, Taehyung was all touchy, but at the end of the day, he
was dating another guy.

Taehyung wasn't his anymore, and he hadn't been his for the last four years. Jeongguk got
used to that a long time ago; he didn't have a choice.

Getting flustered was probably part of Paris's charm. There wasn't anything he should try and
read into. They were friends, even if he was so painfully in love with him, he learned a new
way to love him, and that, that should be enough.

It should be enough, but for some reason, part of him wasn't satisfied with just this. Getting a
chance to even be with Taehyung was more than anything he could ever want.

And yet, there was no way he could make anything more happen.

The host led them through the crowded space to a table far in the back. The place was bright
and dainty and homey with tons of plants and french music in the background, smelling of
floral incense combined with cigarette smoke from a balcony that he spotted from the corner
of his eye while walking in.

The two of them sat down on literal swings with cute decorative pillows, a menu placed right
on the small table between them. After ordering some drinks, they sold fucking oompa
loompa liquor, the two of them sat in comfortable silence while Jeongguk went through his
phone.

"Oh Tae," Jeongguk said, other hand reaching over to pat his shoulder to get his attention.
Taehyung hummed, finishing his sip of water before saying what.

"My family's coming to Paris later this week and they wanted to ask you something," He
said, rereading the message, his hand lingering on Taehyung's bicep.

"Ask me what?" Taehyung raised an eyebrow at him.

"Ask if you wanna meet up at the Olympic opening ceremony," He showed him his phone
and their family messages, a giddy smile curling the corners of his lips upward.

"Sure, why not. I've met them multiple times," which was true. Sometimes Taehyung ran into
his aunt at Japanese games, and Hyejung checked in every now and then when she wasn't
busy at work.

But there was still one person Taehyung hadn't met yet, mostly because of timing, and since
he didn't usually drop by the Jeon house whenever he came to visit.

"My mom's also gonna be there," Jeongguk started slowly, chewing at his lip as he gauged
the older's reaction.

"Really? You're letting me meet your mom?" He nodded, squeezing his bicep before realizing
how awkward it probably looked so he tucked his hand back onto his lap.

"Not a lot of people meet her, not even my partners, since we don't wanna overwhelm her.
But she's still getting better every day, and I honestly think you should meet her. I think she'd
love you," Jeongguk admitted shyly, fingers reaching up to scratch at his neck.

"I mean, I'd get if you don't wanna see them. M'sorry to just throw this at you, but no biggie
if you don't wanna—," Jeongguk's breath hitched, his ramble cut short to see Taehyung's
hand over his knee.

"Jeongguk," Taehyung said, and fuck, when he met his gaze, he instantly regretted so, hating
how his heart twitched, kick-starting its endless rhythm.

"I'd love to meet your mother."

"You would?" He squeaked. Taehyung nodded, the boxy smile he wore radiating this warmth
that never failed to ease him.

"It would be an honor to meet her," He hummed, drumming his fingers over his knee,
unaware how the simplest of movements left Jeongguk short circuiting.

"It means a lot," Jeongguk whispered, honesty dripping from his words, neck flushing a
deeper shade of pink, hotter against his fingertips.

"Means a lot to me too, Gguk," The older murmured back.

Neither one of them said a thing, which honestly made Jeongguk afraid, for he was worried
Taehyung could hear the eratic pounding of his heart against his chest that would give him
away.

"How is your mom anyways?" Taehyung pulled his hand away, allowing Jeongguk to finally
let go of the breath he had been holding in all this time and relax.

"She's been doing well," Jeongguk slid his phone back into his pocket, leaning against the
wall as the swing creaked from beneath him, trying to get a grip of himself.
"Recovering slow, but she's making progress."

"That's great to hear. I'm happy she could make it to Paris."

"Honestly, yeah," The younger admitted, shoving the back of his hand up the curtain of hair
that fell over his nape. "M'happy too. It's just... it's everything I've ever wanted."

"Really?" Taehyung whispered, catching the younger off guard. He glanced over at the older,
studying his careful gaze but ending up with no answer to his question except this bubbling
pit of warmth in his stomach.

"I mean, it's kinda everything I want," Jeongguk found himself admitting and instantly
regretting it. His hand dropped to his lap, fingers fidgeting as he hoped Taehyung went deaf
for a second and didn't hear him.

But of course, that wasn't the case. "What more do you want then?"

"Why do you make me sound so greedy?" Jeongguk attempted to change the topic, ankle
kicking over to knock against the older's leg. Taehyung let out a gentle laugh.

"Didn't mean it that way. I mean, what else do you feel that's missing?" Taehyung said,
crossing his arms over his chest.

You, he almost wanted to say, but he knew better.

Jeongguk already had his answer, but it wasn't a good one. One that probably couldn't even
happen, and he shouldn't say out loud because a good friend wouldn't be selfish and ruin a
perfectly good existing relationship with a guy Taehyung actually deserved.

Sure, they promised all those years ago to try again, but sometimes things were better off left
as they were.

"I want to win gold," Jeongguk blurted out, realizing he was probably taking up too much
time to come up with some other bullshit and less selfish answer.

He winced internally noticing the way Taehyung's eyebrows eased on his features, the
corners of his rectangular grin faltering ever so slightly. If he were some other person, he
wouldn't have noticed, but he was Jeongguk, and he was Taehyung. Of course he noticed.

Luckily, as if on cue, the server came with their crazy, handcrafted drinks, thankfully ending
their conversation without much effort from Jeongguk's end.

"Merci," Taehyung murmured, bowing his head out of habit as he eyed his cocktail with mild
concern.

"Don't you hate alcohol?" Jeongguk asked, trying to lighten up the mood to some degree,
praying the older would get the drift and carry on like nothing happened.

And he did, because he was Taehyung, and he probably had some sixth sense that Jeongguk
wasn't going to talk about so of course, he answered with that goddamned boxy grin that
contained happiness and joy and little snarky, mean insults.

"I don't hate it, but I don't love it either," Taehyung's nose crinkled as he sniffed the
concoction.

"Who knew an oompa loompa smelled like vanilla?"

"Nobody would know," Jeongguk giggled, glancing down at his pink drink that he honestly
didn't know what was inside of it.

"You know what though?" The younger hummed as he brought the drink to his lips, tasting a
little and was instantly hit with a shock of sweetness.

"We haven't been drinking together in a long time."

"The last time was what, back in November?" He snorted, setting his glass back down, nose
wrinkling as the intense strawberry flavor stained his tongue.

"Well, you know, since we're jetlagged," Taehyung said, lips tugging into a smirk, something
glinting in his dark eyes. "Maybe we should—,"

"Are you insisting we get shitfaced in a foreign country?" He raised an eyebrow at him.

"I mean, why not," Taehyung shrugged, fitting his fingers around his glass and lifting up
toward him.

"Ever wanted to get shitfaced in Paris?"

"The thought never really crossed my mind, but I mean, I'll take your offer," Jeongguk
chuckled softly, raising his glass to clink against his.

"It's a plan," Taehyung winked, earning an eye roll from the younger as the duo took sips of
their equally ridiculously bright drinks.

"God, this won't be enough though," Jeongguk said, setting it back down, wincing as more of
that stuff made his entire mouth taste like a strawberry.

"Then we'll pick up some more," Taehyung laughed. "C'mon, first one to get drunk has to do
something stupid."

"Stupid as in?" Jeongguk snorted, watching the older sip more of his drink through the straw
that came with it. It was funny, really, watching Taehyung wince with every bit of alcohol he
consumed.

"We'll get there later," Taehyung waved him off, clearly disturbed by the strong flavor of
alcohol in his drink. "You gonna get drunk or not?" He asked, gesturing at him.

"Geez, you're so demanding," He chuckled, noticing how pink Taehyung's cheeks were
beginning to get. Of course he had to forget he was such a lightweight, so as he downed
every drink, the younger made sure to stay a little bit sober just in case.
Taehyung was right, the alcohol in Lavomatic wasn't enough.

After getting out of there, barely buzzed, alcohol sitting warmly in the bottoms of their
stomach, the older insisted they stopped by a supermarche.

Staying true to his promise, Jeongguk agreed. So, the two of them ended up buying a bottle
of wine to share between the two of them and sat cross-legged on a grassy bank near the
Seine in the middle of night with nothing but a measly lampost a few feet away illuminating
the night with a hazy, honey glow.

Half way through the bottle of wine and a bunch of terribly trashy puns and stories collected
from the last four years, Jeongguk was hot. Cheap liquor was filtering through him, filling
him with this warmth, and god, he was already tipsy, head empty, floating on this cloud of
alcohol and Taehyung's addictive laughter.

His ears buzzed with this particular drunken static, heart thumping against his chest as he sat
there on the grass, watching Taehyung try not to choke on wine when he cracked a stupid
joke.

"What does one tiddy say to the other boob?"

"Oh I don't know, you tell me, Gguk."

"If we don't get support, people will think we're nuts."

"Ew no— frick you. But hey, Jeongguk guess what."

"What now?"

"Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But it was just a Fanta
sea."

"Shuddup Tae."

It went like that, the two of them just enjoying each other's company underneath the expanse
of dull stars, streetlights, their laughter intertwining into one and bodies knocking against one
another,and the occasional breeze accompanying the cool Paris night.

Jeongguk wouldn't have this any other way. Getting to spend time with Kim Taehyung was
probably something he could never get enough of; he always wanted more and more.

Every time he laughed, his eyes creasing and cheeks jutting out as a smile adorned his lips,
Jeongguk would feel his heart clench. Like anything Taehyung did, it made him love him
more, and fuck, it was so goddamn contagious— this happiness he gave him.

He didn't want it to end just yet. Wait, scratch that, he didn't want this to end at all.
"Isn't this illegal?" Jeongguk blurted out, snatching the almost empty bottle from Taehyung's
grip and bringing the rim to his lips.

"I honestly don't know," Taehyung said, taking it back the second Jeongguk was done with it.
"But I mean, as long as we don't do bad shit, then we're good."

"By bad shit you mean what exactly?" He snorted, watching the older nearly choke, wine
dribbling from the edge of his mouth.

"Like, y'know," The older coughed, swiping at the wind with the back of his sleeve. "Public
indecency."

"What makes you think m'gonna whip out my dick?" Jeongguk said. Taehyung simply
shrugged.

"I dunno. Be gay, do crimes. It's a saying for a reason," Taehyung laughed, resting his palm
behind him and leaning back, the bottle snug between his outstretched legs.

"I don't think it's smart to commit crimes in a foreign country," Jeongguk nudged his side,
biting down on his lip but failing horribly to hide the smile aching to show.

"I didn't say we're gonna commit crimes though."

"Then what are we gonna do?" He asked, averting his gaze over to the Seine, finding it
beautiful how the moonlight and lamp lights spilled into one another, tinting the water with
this ethereal light.

"Walk around," He whipped his head up to see the older was getting onto his feet. Scrambling
up, knowing he would leave him, he jogged after him across the grass.

"And do what?" Jeongguk managed to join his side without breaking a sweat. He stopped for
him while Taehyung carefully left the bottle in a trash bin before gesturing at him to follow
him onto the streets.

"Talk. See some stuff," Taehyung said, hugging himself as the duo strolled over the pebbled
streets, wandering about in the city— just the two of them, alone.

"You're not sleepy right?" The older's gaze flitted toward him, and for a split moment their
eyes met, and Jeongguk, in his stupor, couldn't remember what his name was.

"N-No, just, floaty," He eventually said, kicking at the pavement, hands finding comfort in
his pant pockets. "M'not sober," He clarified.

"Me either."

"I think I can tell."

"Oh, yeah, sorry," Taehyung chuckled. "But I mean, don't you feel like talking about your
feeelings?"
"Feelings?" He glanced over at the older, who was staring straight ahead, a thin white cloud
snaking past his parted lips.

"Are you dumb? Gguk, we have the whole world at our fucking fingertips right now. We can
talk about anything as loudly as we want!" Jeongguk quickly shushed the older, reaching out
to tug at his wrist to shut him up.

"Not so loud," He scolded, squeezing the older's wrist, his chest brushing against his
shoulder. "We can't get in trouble walking around drunk, 'kay?"

"Yessir. But you gotta tell me something juicy. Like, tell me the good shit. Spill all the
fucking tea, fam."

"Did you just put 'tea' and 'fam' into one sentence?" Jeongguk's nose crinkled as the older
leaned back into him, body shuddering with throaty chuckles. He pushed him away, feigning
disgust.

"M'sorry," Taehyung's contagious giggles rung in his ear as their bodies bumped against one
another's once more. Jeongguk rolled his eyes.

"Sure you are," He said, clamping back the smile threatening to betray him. "If you wanna
talk so badly, why don't you just ask something?" At that, the older's expression brightened.

"Maybe, lemme think," Taehyung said, tapping his index finger over his chin as those gears
in his head seemed to churn. "Alright! I got one!" Jeongguk braced himself, hoping it was—

"What's the real reason you broke up with your girlfriend?"

"You're cutting right to the chase aren't you?" He grimaced. Taehyung nodded, playfully
elbowing his side like he didn't ask some question Jeongguk probably shouldn't answer while
drunk.

But of course, he found the truth building on his tongue before he could even try to dodge the
subject.

"I never loved her."

"I never loved Jisoo," Jeongguk blurted out, causing the giggly Taehyung beside him to fall
silent. Nearly panicking, he tilted his gaze toward him, wondering if he made him mad, but
instead, his face was focused— listening in carefully.

"I just didn't love her," Jeongguk continued on, guessing he could keep going while the two
trudged along, pale golden lights flooding their features.

"Why didn't you love her?" Taehyung asked, folding his arms behind his back. Jeongguk
shrugged.

"I tried to," He said, biting at his lip, vaguely even remembering how his last relationship
went despite it going on for so long. Hell, all of it was murky, and the parts he could pick out
were still fuzzy.
She was a good person, he knew that. But that was all he could remember about Jisoo. There
was no doubt he was a shitty boyfriend. At the start, maybe he was decent, doing his part
until he forgot.

It all went down from there.

He was too caught up with school and life and volleyball and depressive episodes that fucked
him up from time to time. Too busy juggling practices and therapy sessions with a woman
who had to remind him every day it was okay to talk about his problems, that he wasn't alone
like he made himself out to be.

Now he could recall telling her that, explaining to her with a wince that he was fucked up.
That he was constantly fluctuating between pained and happy and numb. That loving her was
probably easy, but he complicated it and fuck— he just couldn't do it.

Surprisingly, she wasn't mad at him. In fact, Jisoo apologized for not having time for him
with medical school taking up chunks of her day. Apologized for not being there more and
wished him the best.

Told him he would heal eventually and that maybe he could find a lover that made his
complicated mess make sense.

Jeongguk never really told anyone that was how it really went, using the same bullshit excuse
that they just didn't click anymore to avoid the topic.

But here he was, drunk in Paris, with Kim Taehyung, telling him the truth. And of course, he
listened.

"The last time I tried to love somebody, you know about her, I was so scared to make her
mad, I let her do whatever she wanted," Jeongguk couldn't hear his own voice over the blood
rushing in his ears.

"I didn't want to hurt her, but then I let her hurt me," He whispered, chuckling dryly at the
memory he repressed. A memory that happened two years ago, and yet mentioning it still
fucking stung.

"Hated her ass. I was glad you dumped her," The older said, tone indecipherable, flat almost.
"She cheated on you while you two were dating."

"She insisted on having an open relationship," He croaked, flinching at the slow trickle of
memories that began to flash across his mind.

"Still, she hurt you. None of that was your fault. You wanted to be happy," Taehyung
stressed, and for a moment, Jeongguk let himself believe him.

"You wanted her to be happy 'cause you loved her, and she took advantage of your kindness.
None of that was your fault, Jeongguk."

"I guess," Jeongguk replied sheepishly. "I don't know. I just— I don't think I can love anyone.
I fuck it up so many times, m'scared I can't do it right."
"What do you mean?" Taehyung came to a stop, his body angled so it was in front of him,
keeping the younger from walking ahead.

"You're doing it right now just fine."

"No, I know, I-I just mean loving someone. Another person that isn't a friend or a family
member," He said, his hand reaching up to card through his hair, tugging lightly at his scalp.

"It's possible," Taehyung said, "You just haven't found the right person—,"

"—Tae, I've never been in a happy relationship in the last four years," Jeongguk confessed,
watching the older's expression harden at the sudden revelation.

"I'm not like you. I didn't get a Sungmin like you did, or a Seojoon," He said, trying to lighten
the mood he purposely dampened with a smile that he couldn't quite hold, his chin beginning
to tremble.

I got a Mina, he wanted to say but couldn't, who fucked other people while we dated. Who
didn't want me around, who got bored of me and went to spend time with guys who weren't
her boyfriend.

"I know it's not my fault but m'just so scared I'll fuck up again," Now he was rambling.
"M'scared I'll get really hurt, or I'll hurt someone. Tae, I'm hard to deal with. Nobody wants
to date someone who's depressed, and I don't ever tell them, because I do feel happy for a bit
and I want it to last even if I just fuck it—,"

"— Jeongguk," Taehyung's palms gripped his shoulders, shaking him gently, his brows drawn
together tight. "Baby, breathe."

"I tried to love her," He sucked in a shaky breath, struggling to swallow as Taehyung ran his
palms up and down his arms.

"And you did your best," Taehyung whispered, "you did your best, and she saw that."

"You're just saying that," He let out a choked laugh.

"No I'm not. You did your best with everything going on. It was a good first try, but it doesn't
mean it's your last," He said softly.

"You'll find somebody that'll love you on your best days, your worst days, and the days you
don't feel anything," Taehyung declared, the edges of his lips tipping upward, enough to
make Jeongguk try to smile on his own.

"Really?" He asked, staring at the older, heart swelling in his chest the moment he returned
his gaze. It used to be you.

"Really," Taehyung whispered back, and a part of Jeongguk wondered if he thought the same.
I wish it were still you.
"Nobody's difficult to love, Gguk," The older added, returning to his side, his arm now
finding its way around his shoulders, bringing him close.

"You sure?" He muttered, leaning his head against Taehyung's, the two of them walking on,
the warm yellow light enveloping them both as they entered a plaza, bustling with nightlife.

"I'm sure," Taehyung said, squeezing his shoulder.

"Others just need a bit more care and patience, and there's nothing wrong with that."

"If you say so," Jeongguk said, playing with a loose string inside his pocket, feeling
Taehyung's gaze on him but for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to look back at him
without feeling this warmth.

"I know I'm right," Taehyung said, solemnly, "it's the truth."

The duo fell into this silence that Jeongguk didn't really mind. It was always like that with
Taehyung. They could be together without saying a word, and he wouldn't be choked up on
anxiety, for everything, his breathing, the assuring grip on his shoulder, was enough to anchor
him to reality.

With Taehyung, he supposed everything felt like it would be okay as long as he was there.

They walked around the plaza and examined the opened shops, bundled close, feeling the
warmth radiate against one another while liquor floated through them, still buzzing in
Jeongguk's veins.

He wasn't sure if it was the fact he was drunk, or that Taehyung was beside him that made
every feeling of his seem amplified. To the way his heart hammered in his chest, how he
could listen in closely to the older's steady breathing, and this fleeting, tiny jolt whenever he
brushed too close to Taehyung— he felt it all.

Whether he should be scared or not that he was feeling all these things, Jeongguk didn't
know. They were signs he wanted to avoid, to hide and push away because there was no way
Taehyung could have felt the same.

All of this was dangerous territory, and if he wasn't so drunk, maybe he would have cared
more. Or perhaps, maybe he just didn't want to care at all.

"Can I ask you something now? I feel like I kinda ruined the mood," He chuckled, softening
when he heard the older's low laugh against his ear at a street performer doing magic tricks,
the feeling enough to make his skin tingle, and he wasn't sure if it was just the alcohol in him.

"Why do you say that?" Taehyung asked, pulling back to get a better look of his face, his
thick brows bunched together.

"Coz you're quiet," Jeongguk flicked his tongue over his bottom lip, wettening the skin.
Taehyung snorted lightly.
"Well I'm having fun," Taehyung said, only to get a skeptical look from the younger. He
tickled his side, prompting Jeongguk to twist away from him, yelping.

"Do you not believe me?"

"I mean, I believe you," Jeongguk breathed out, swatting Taehyung's hand away. "You
seemed focused on other stuff."

"You're right about me thinking though," The older smirked. It was then they passed a band
of street performers, playing an acoustic French song, singing softly into the night. Taehyung
stopped.

"Thinking about what?" He asked, glancing between the performers and Taehyung, whose
smirk was just a little bit intimidating.

Pulling away, he watched as Taehyung's palm slid down his arm, his hand grabbing his. He
had no idea what was going on, letting Taehyung guide their bodies so they were in front of
one another, parallel.

"Seriously, what are you thinking about?" Jeongguk gasped, the older suddenly spinning him
around to the music before bringing his body close, pressing his chest into his back— fuck.

"You," Taehyung whispered, wrapping his other arm around his waist, their fingers an
entangled mess over Jeongguk's heart as their bodies swayed to the song.

"Me?" Jeongguk breathed out, staring down at the stony path, a lump forming in his throat as
his ears began to burn. Taehyung nodded, and shit, his lips were brushing against the
sensitive shell of his ear.

"Yeah, always you," He murmured, breath hot, tickling the cool lobe adorned with piercings.
At that, Jeongguk flushed an impossible shade of red, tongue like putty in his mouth as his
heart seemed to thrash in its place.

"What am I supposed to say to that?" He mumbled shyly, a cool shiver caressing his spine as
the older's resonant laughter rumbled against his ear.

"What do you wanna say?" Taehyung said, pushing him back to twirl him again, and now, he
was holding both of his hands, swinging them between them.

"That you're ridiculous," A smile flutters on his lips when Taehyung pulls him forward and
pushes him back, the older wiggling his eyebrows at him.

"What are you doing?" Jeongguk couldn't help the giggle that bubbled in his throat,
squeaking when the older spins him again, this time, a bit harder than the last and their bodies
collide, emitting a grunt from both men.

"Trying to cheer you up," Taehyung laughed softly, wrapping his arms around Jeongguk,
squeezing him in a tight hug. He buried his face in his neck, making him squeal as he blew
raspberries on his skin.
"Stooop," Jeongguk squirmed in his embrace, mouth stretched into the widest smile as
Taehyung tickled his sides.

"Stopyouactuallysuck." He whined, patting the older's arm in surrender, laughter twisting his
stomach.

"You don't wanna dance Gguk?" Taehyung returned to them to their original positions, but
this time, he settled his palm on the dip of Jeongguk's waist, his other hand holding his own
up in the air.

"Not in public," Jeongguk breathed out, his lips aching from smiling so hard. "You're an
actual dork."

"Correction," Taehyung dipped him down, catching the younger off guard. Jeongguk gasped,
free hand flying to grab at the collar of Taehyung's jacket.

"M'your dork," He pulled him back up, nose wrinkling cutely as he spared the younger a
wink, enough to make him blush harder.

"Since when were you a sap?" Jeongguk lifted an eyebrow at him, breathless, his heart
practically in his throat, swelling and racing and maybe palpitating.

"Just felt like being one for a change," Taehyung hummed, hand splayed over the dip on his
lower back, chests close, hearts pressed over one another.

"So many people are staring," Jeongguk whispered, leaning forward, angling his face away
from the crowd, which only proved to be a mistake when he realized how dangerously close
he was to the older's lips. Well shit.

"We look stupid."

"No we don't."

"Tae, they're staring."

"Let them stare," Taehyung said, squeezing his hand, his gaze not once leaving his, and for a
second, in his daze, he caught his irises flitting down to his lips.

"Why?" Jeongguk whispered, unable to hear himself over the thrum of his heartbeat. He
couldn't help it, studying Taehyung's features close, no longer fearing any sort of
consequence— he couldn't care less.

"I don't care about them," Taehyung said, lacing their fingers properly, fitting their palms
together, the gesture so small yet enough to knock the wind from Jeongguk's lungs.

"I care about you." Fuck.

God, he was still so fucking beautiful. Now, since he was a bit older, there was a ghost of
stubble over his upper lip and some sprinkled over his chin. Besides that, not much changed
except his jaw was sharper, his eyes were darker, and everything about him seemed to be
ethereal beneath the yellow glow.

All of this didn't feel real. To think he would be in the older's arms again, being this close,
and feeling his heartbeat as though it was his own.

The problem was that he didn't hate it, hell, he loved it. He loved every fucking second being
here, with the boy he loved. The boy he still loved up to now.

And for a moment, Jeongguk decided it was okay to be selfish and pretend that this was real.
Despite his mind being lost in liquor, his heart beating all for Taehyung, and all his fears
lingering in the back of his mind, he wanted this.

He just wanted one happy moment to feel how it was to be loved by Kim Taehyung again.

After dancing, Taehyung suddenly took his hand in his and pulled him away from it all. He
guided him down the pebbled paths, smiling back at him as they ran beneath the lampposts,
the yellow lights a blur in the night, and fuck, he was so happy.

So happy when Taehyung's hand held onto his, never letting go. So happy when Taehyung
stared at him like he was the only person in his world.

So happy when Taehyung and he stumbled into another épicerie, buying beer, and chugging it
as they walked across empty pathways, laughing until their stomachs hurt and holding onto
another the more drunk they got.

Happy when Taehyung hugged his body close while he spoke about nonsense, allowing him
to bury his face in his neck and smell his scent, bathing himself in his familiarity.

So fucking happy when Taehyung pushed him up against a brick wall in a dark, barely lit
alleyway, the younger's hands entangled in his soft blonde locks, looking straight at him, eyes
glossed over, dazed with love and painful adoration and honesty the alcohol had milked from
him.

Taehyung hovered above him, equally drunk and smiling stupid, his massive palms on the
dips of his waist, thumbs drawing circles over his hipbone. His head hung low, lips barely
brushing over his ear, the two of them snickering softly for no good reason.

They probably looked stupid this drunk. Careless. Messy. But to Jeongguk it didn't matter.
Didn't matter that Taehyung was mouthing over his neck, mumbling words he couldn't pick
up but felt like some sort of promise— a promise he still loved him.

Nothing else mattered except Taehyung was here, holding him, his heart, his everything, and
choosing to love him— fucked up and all. Even if this felt like a dream, god, he wanted to
believe it. Believe it all.

"You're so fucking beautiful," Taehyung's voice was gravelly, reduced to a mere rasp against
his ear.

"I am?" Jeongguk asked, words slurred, his head lolling onto Taehyung's shoulder.
"So fucking beautiful," He repeated, squeezing his waist. "Missed you, y'know."

"Well I'm here now," Jeongguk's grip in his hair tightened.

"I know," Taehyung pulled back, freeing one of his hands to cup the side of Jeongguk's
cheek, guiding his gaze to match his own. "You're here now."

"Don't go," He didn't know what he was saying, but he supposed the older got the message,
his features softening beneath the shadows.

"I won't," Taehyung whispered, thumb running over the curve of his cheek. "God, I hate
them."

"Hate who?" He asked, the tip of his tongue darting over his lips, gaze falling to Taehyung's
mouth.

"All those people who hurt you," The older growled, "You don't know how much it pissed me
off."

"It did?"

"It did," Taehyung said, "They don't deserve you."

"Then who deserves me?" Jeongguk asked, his free hand running up Taehyung's chest, the
other teasing the hair that fell over his nape. Eventually, his hand settled on the side of
Taehyung's neck, pulling him closer.

"Somebody who'll treat you right," Taehyung leaned closer, voice barely a whisper.

"Will you treat me right?" The younger dug his fingers into his hair, his hands trembling ever
so slightly. Taehyung's breath hitched, his adam's apple bobbing nervously as he inched back.

"Jeongguk—," At that, Jeongguk's heart dropped, the dream, shattering around him,
reminding of reality.

The reality that Taehyung was his and would never be his.

"Right," Jeongguk murmured, swallowing thickly as his fingers eased their grip on Taehyung.
"You have a boyfriend. I-I shouldn't have forgot—,"

"— Jeongguk no that's not it," Taehyung tried, but the younger shook his head.

"It's okay you don't have to explain to me. I got carried away," He sucked in a breath, willing
the pain to go away, feeling it dig in his ribs, slowly curling around his heart.

"Can you let me—,"

"—I know you don't love me." Taehyung froze. "And that's okay. You deserve Seojoon. He's
a good guy, and he's probably not difficult to love and he's probably always happy—mmf!"
Taehyung's lips were over his, silencing the rest of the words on his tongue. Jeongguk's eyes
shot open, his hands flying to the older's chest but not quite pushing back. For a moment, he
couldn't believe it, the feeling odd since it had been way too long.

And god, it felt good, kissing him. His lips moved feverishly over his, but before Jeongguk
could get a chance to kiss him back, Taehyung popped his lips off his, his heavy pants filling
in the silence.

"I broke up with Seojoon a month ago," Taehyung muttered. Jeongguk nearly choked.

"You what?" He said, voice cracking as he struggled to comprehend what he just said.

"Or well, he dumped me, but it was a kinda mutual thing, so I'm fine. Still, that isn't the point,
Gguk," He exhaled, removing his hand from Jeongguk's cheek to card through his hair.

"Things with Seojoon are over," Taehyung finished, tilting his head up to meet the younger's
gaze, who was still struggling to comprehend his words.

"So where does that leave us?" Jeongguk asked softly. The older sighed, shrugging, his hand
resting on the side of his neck.

"I don't know but, god, Jeongguk, I really, really want to kiss you," Taehyung confessed, his
words not at all what Jeongguk expected.

"... You do?"

"Hell yeah. And I-I'm so sorry I didn't—," Gathering all the confidence he could muster, he
kissed him.

He kissed him with every drop of his strength, his palms splayed over the sides of his jaw,
lips moving hungrily against his, telling the truth, and all kinds of words he couldn't verbally
put together. So it made sense to kiss him this way: honest, unadulterated.

Taehyung eventually eased into the kiss, his brows furrowed, his hands reached to grab
Jeongguk's hips, pushing their entire bodies together, fitting perfectly in one another's dips
and curves as though they were sculpted for one another.

This was it— this was what he wanted. To kiss him until he couldn't remember his name,
until his body gave up, knowing that his heart and mind thrived on his very existence.
Taehyung kissed him back equally hard, wanting more and giving back his part.

Taehyung's tongue pushed against his bottom lip, swiping over it, teasing the plush skin.
Jeongguk effortless loosened his jaw, allowing him in, even though he tasted like bitter wine
and beer, none of it seemed to matter. He tugged him closer, desperate to taste more, to have
it all.

It was a mess of noses squished against one another, teeth clicking, saliva collecting, and
breathy hums as Taehyung eagerly licked at every corner of his mouth, tongue grazing behind
his upper teeth, and occasionally would he suck on his lower lip, evoking pleasant sounds
from the younger.
Eventually Jeongguk broke it off, smiling in a daze when Taehyung playfully nipped at his
bottom lip, teasing the skin between his teeth. Once it was over, Jeongguk leaned back
against the wall, blissed out, staring at Taehyung while his fingers played with his hair.

"So you're single now?" He teased, pushing a lock behind the older's ear.

Taehyung laughed, leaning forward, his nose nuzzling against his cheek. "I guess so," He
said.

"Funny, 'cuz m'single too," Jeongguk mumbled, grinning at the older as he pulled back to get
a better look at him. He sighed, leaning into his palm, staring over at him, fondly.

"Funny," Taehyung repeated, his thumb running over the curve of lip, tracing the outline until
he reached the little mole. "Can I kiss you again?"

"Please," The younger said, and without another word, he kissed him endlessly beneath the
shadows in a Parisian alleyway, holding him close and loving him like he was supposed to.

♡♡♡

"I kissed Jeongguk," Taehyung said over the phone to the only person he could think of
calling when he fucked up, a hand covering his face while the other cradled the device next to
his ear.

"Cool. Did you talk about your undying love that had been developing over the last four
years but both of you just didn't acknowledge it?" Jimin's monotone voice rang in his ears.

"No," He whispered, pinching the bridge of his nose beneath his glasses, trying to stifle the
hungover hammering away at his skull.

"No? Then why are you calling me?"

"Because," Taehyung bit his lip, shoving his fingers through his hair. He swore softly, closing
his eyes as he replayed the events of last night in his head, wishing he wasn't drunk off his ass
when he practically confessed to Jeongguk.
He really should have put more thought into this, but of course, he didn't, and now he had to
face the consequences. 10 out of 10 adulting skills Kim Taehyung, he winced internally.

"Well you dumb bitch," Jimin sounded iritated, but to be honest, when was he not irritated?
"Talk it out with him. I already told you. DO. NOT. Repeat. High. School."

"But he's not here. He went back to the Village last night," The younger said, brows
furrowing. Over the receiver, Jimin scoffed.

"Is that my problem? Go pursue him, or do some k-drama romantic shit."

"I can't. It's private and heavily secured."

"So call him, dumbass."

"His phone died."

"Well, then when can you see him again?" Jimin grumbled, and in the background, he could
hear some sheets rustling.

"We're not gonna meet until later," He said.

"Then talk to him about it when you meet. Now I'm gonna go—," Taehyung froze.

"No! Please, Chim. I don't know what to do, or what to say," He rambled, panic rising up his
chest as he began to pace around his room. "Please, I really need your help. I-I can't do this."

"Yes you can," Jimin said, "You can talk to him. Just be honest and don't beat around the
bush. This talk between you guys has been delayed for four years, Tae. Four fucking years.
Now's your shot."

"Oh that really boosted my confidence. Thank you hyung for your wisdom," Taehyung rolled
his eyes, sarcasm dripping off his words.

He could picture the older rolling his eyes, "You're welcome. Next time you call me, you
guys better be a thing. If not, I'll personally beat your ass."

"I'll keep that in mind," Taehyung said, sighing as the line went dead on the other end. Fuck,
he really might have messed up this time.

♡♡♡
"Sorry m'late," Jeongguk was breathing heavily when he approached him, his dark hair
splayed all over his forehead, his phone in hand as he jogged up to the older.

"They were going over the Opening ceremony plans, and shit took forever," His words strung
together in a mess. He finally joined Taehyung's side, the first thing he did was glance over
his outfit.

"Well shit. Did I underdress now too?"

"I think you look fine," Taehyung chuckled softly, eyeing the younger's outfit. It was a simple
white long-sleeved shirt, denim joggers, and... mismatched shoes? "Nice feet."

"They come like that," Jeongguk sighed, shoving his phone into his back pocket. "Okay, but
you said we're going somewhere fancy. I feel basic."

"Hey, it's okay to be basic, and this," The older pinched the fabric of his pattern button-up, "is
what I usually wear." Jeongguk raised an eyebrow at him.

"Is it though?" He snorted. Taehyung smacked his elbow. "Fine, sorry. Now enlighten me
with where we're going, dear pal."

Taehyung tried not to wince at the old nickname that didn't quite come with the best set of
memories (he honestly cringed looking back at high school), but at least they were doing
fine. He expected worse for Jeongguk to ignore him, so this was good enough for him.

He would take whatever he could get.

"We're going to Le Champo," Taehyung said and fishing from his loose pants pockets a
pamphlet for the place. "You down to watch old French films?"

"Bold of you to assume I know French," Jeongguk, the edge of his lip tugged upward in a
lopsided grin.

"So what if you're not fluent in French? Don't you wanna see some vintage classics?" He
mused, arms crossing over his chest. Jeongguk cracked a grin.

"Is that why you're wearing the dumb beret," He teased, reaching over to flick it. Taehyung
was quick to swat his wrist away, his features contorting with irritation.

"Hey, don't clown the beret. The only thing we should be clowning is you for showing up
late," He said, flicking Jeongguk's shoulder, a smug smile settling on his lips.

"I didn't have any control of that hyung," Jeongguk grumbled, rolling his eyes as Taehyung
began walking in the direction of the vintage theatre.
"So, how was it getting back to the Olympic Village last night?" Taehyung asked once they
fell in line. "Was it all luxurious?"

At that, Jeongguk snorted, suddenly coming to life right in front of him, "Not at all. It's hella
big, like, we got a Mcdonalds and a whole ass mini town there, but the rooms are basically
dorms."

"Dorms? For Olympic athletes?" He scoffed lightly, nudging Jeongguk's side. "Don't lie to
me."

"Oh, m'not lying," Jeongguk chuckled, "I literally got to room with volleyball players. They
group us by the sport we play."

"So you were with Yugyeom?"

"Nah, I got paired with a sex-crazed womanizer from America," He sighed, shaking his head.
"The guy made use of the condom dispensers, though."

"Oh god, don't tell me, did athletes hit you up?" The older gasped, straightening his shoulders
to match Jeongguk's height. Jeongguk merely snorted, features scrunching together.

"I got there at ass o'clock, drunk. Yugyeom helped me to my room and he did a good job of
avoiding fellow athletes, so no."

"But this morning, you had to have met some cool athletes right?" Taehyung said, nudging
Jeongguk's side suggestively, teasing him.

"Yeah, I did, but get your head out of the gutter. I didn't go to the Olympics to find love," He
muttered, rolling his eyes. Taehyung deflated.

"You're no fun then," He pretended to sound all disappointed, but of course, Jeongguk caught
onto his bullshit like he always did. Jeongguk scoffed.

"Gguk, you literally missed your chance to have mind blowing sex with Parisian-olympic
brand condoms and godly-bodied foreign athletes."

"Saying it like that makes it 100x less appealing," Jeongguk grumbled, rolling his eyes yet
again. The older let out a laugh, tossing his head back as he knocked his body against the
younger's, who was clearly uncomfortable.

"Can we please drop this topic," His nose crinkled in disgust. "M'here to watch a movie with
you. Not talk about potential hookups with people I'm not into."

"Then who are you into?" Taehyung asked, and the second those words left his mouth, he
instantly regretted it.

And as if on cue, the awkwardness he was trying so hard to avoid, settled in. Beside him,
Jeongguk tensed, his eyes widened for a split second, and he swore he was blushing too, but
before he could sneak a peak, he had already turned his head the other way, avoiding
Taehyung's eyes.
Fuck. So he did remember. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Taehyung swore he was an idiot for bringing that up, and now, he had to deal with his own
dumbassery. But in all seriousness, he did know there was no way he could avoid it. They
literally avoided the topic for four years. FOUR whole years, they ignored it.

Jimin was right. They put it off for so long, it was getting to a point where they needed to
address it like mature adults capable of not being emotionally constipated.

The thing was, Taehyung didn't know how to bring it up, and nobody was there to really help
him. Except for Jimin, but he was afraid to call him and get his bones snapped the second he
landed back home in Korea.

So, without a plan, he let it remain awkward, not saying a thing and staring ahead as the que
dwindled away.

Fuck, he felt like a teenager all over again when they got inside the cinéma, their shoulders
occasionally brushing, and each second their fingers accidentally bumped against one
another, he was a mess of mumbled apologies and feverish blushes.

Jeongguk wasn't any better. The poor guy kept running into people and pillars and even
stepped on Taehyung's foot. God, even in high school, he wasn't a big wreck like this.

It was cute though, the way he'd apologize to him all flustered and chewing on his lip, his
gaze lowered to the floor. It was a newer side of Jeongguk he had yet to familiarize himself
with, but he knew he would learn to love that part of him in no time anyways.

Anything he did, it made him fall harder, and this, this felt a lot like a date.

The movie theatre was beautiful once they were inside, the seats all smooth crimson velvet,
and the architecture reminding him of the vintage 60's. In front of them was a massive blank
screen, probably with a matching old-fashioned projector.

"Everyone seems to know what's playing," Jeongguk whispered to him all of a sudden, once
the lights dimmed, and the chatter around them faded into silence.

"I don't know what's playing either. I can't read what the ticket says," Taehyung murmured,
snickering softly as he showed Jeongguk the ticket written in complete French.

"Then why are we here?" The younger said, the skin between his brows creasing. Taehyung
rolled his eyes and tucked the ticket back into his pocket.

"Well," Taehyung said, reaching up, his thumb and index smoothing out Jeongguk's
eyebrows, trying to erase the frown between them, "I heard it's part of the Parisian
experience."

"That again? We're not artists and we don't pass as cinephiles, Tae," Jeongguk's tone softened
as his gaze fixated on the older, who was struggling to swallow properly beneath his scrutiny.
"Doesn't matter as long as I can experience it with you," Taehyung shrugged, recoiling his
hand back, lips quirked into a small smile.

"If I'm with you, I'm fine doing anything."

"So if this isn't the Parisian experience, then what is it?" Jeongguk asked right as the movie
began, the theatre booming with the familiar instrumental of every old film.

Beneath the black and white light, enveloping him in this artificial- old-film moonlight,
Taehyung couldn't ignore the way his heart swelled in his chest, or how all kinds of flips and
twists made their home inside of his stomach whenever he was beside him.

It was as if his heart forgot how to work along with his lungs. Everything about Jeongguk
rendered him unable to properly function in a way where he didn't mind forgetting his own
name if all he could think about was Jeongguk's.

"It's the Taehyung and Jeongguk experience," He replied, voice hushed, so soft it was barely
a whisper.

"I like the sound of that," Jeongguk hummed, not at all making any effort to tear his gaze
away.

"Me too," Taehyung whispered, heart squeezing, on the verge of palpitating. In the end, he
had no other choice but to look back at the screen, or else he would fricking burst with his
adoration for him.

The movie was The Elephant Man, and with full honesty, Taehyung had no idea what was
going on since the entire audio was in French. He supposed it was such a good film, since the
people around him were so absorbed in it, probably analyzing it and appreciating the filming
style like the cinephiles they all were.

He could tell Jeongguk was just as confused as him. The younger's expression was
unreadable, except the occasional furrow of his eyebrows, or the pout of his lips when
everyone chuckled quietly at something he obviously missed.

This was probably not a good idea— watching a full French film without having any
knowledge of the language. However, it was a good movie, or well, he guessed it was from
the parts he could pick out from the pictures.

But that wasn't all. Taehyung was partially focused on the movie, the rest of his attention on
where his arm rested on the armchair, his hand dangerously close to Jeongguk's.

It was such an elementary thing: sitting in the dark with your ex, hands nearly touching, and
having your heart race like a kid all over again.

The thing was, as stupid as it felt, Taehyung couldn't seem to pry his eyes away from their
hands. Their pinkies were so close, occasionally brushing, sending a jolt of sparks up his arm
every time they touched.
If only he moved a little closer to him, they would be holding hands, and for some reason, it
excited him to think about it.

Naturally, he would be embarrassed for being a grown man excited about holding hands, but
this— he wanted this. He wanted to hold onto the younger and make sure he was there, next
to him, and that all of this wasn't some dream.

And somewhere in the movie, he wasn't paying attention anymore.

Jeongguk wasn't either, his head tilting to meet his gaze, his doe eyes questioning as
Taehyung's teeth bit down on his own lip. He glanced back and forth between their hands,
trying to find the courage to do so, until Jeongguk asked—

"What's wrong?" His lips brushing faintly against the shell of his ear, soft, gentle vowels
sending a shiver down his space. Frick.

Taehyung shook his head, fingers curling away, the panic already forming in the hollow of
his throat, ready to suffocate him for being so stupid. But the younger wasn't having it.
Jeongguk's eyes trailed down to their hands, brows knitting together until he finally realized
what was going on.

He tensed, breath trapped in his chest, feeling the younger's pinky knock against his,
amplifying the feeling of his presence right next to him. The younger's eyes never left him, a
sense of hesitance pooling in his warm gaze when Taehyung couldn't bring himself to look at
him.

"Are you okay?" He nodded profusely, a game of fucking tug-a-war playing inside of his
mind, trying to decide whether if he should say frick it and hold his hand.

However, before he could make the decision, the younger already did it for him.

He sucked in a shaky breath, eyebrows easing as his lips parted in an inaudible oh.
Jeongguk's hand fit perfectly in his, filling up his palm and shifting so their fingers were
entangled snugly together. All of this was dizzying, and god, Taehyung couldn't deal with the
pounding of his heart, daring to expose him.

"Better now?" Jeongguk whispered, a hint of smugness in his tone. Taehyung nodded again,
whipping his attention back to the screen.

"Better," He murmured, glancing shyly back at the younger, unable to keep away the smile
twitching on his lips. He squeezed the younger's hand, knowing that in the end, they were
always going to be okay.
♡♡♡

"I'm sorry we don't have much time together," Their hands were still intertwined as the duo
arrived at their next destination.

Place du Trocadéro was not quite full, but at the same time, there were still groups of tourists
walking around. The sun was already setting, sinking into an endless expanse of soft golds
and pinks, merging alongside the darkening navy sky, and in the center, twinkling faintly was
the Eiffel tower.

"It's fine. You can't do anything about that," The older said, lightly swinging their hands
between them as his gaze wandered to where the Eiffel tower stood in all its glory.

It was beautiful out, but it wasn't the Eiffel tower he was staring at.

"I feel bad asking you to fly out, when I'm barely going to see you after this," Jeongguk
muttered, the two coming to a stop.

"Gguk, seriously. I came here because I want to be here," Taehyung stressed, squeezing his
hand. He sighed, reaching over, his fingers sliding beneath the younger's chin and tilting his
head up to meet his gaze.

"I know how much this means to you, and—," He said, his free hand settling on his chest, a
small smile unraveling over Taehyung's lips.

"—I want to be with you."

His hand recoiled back, realizing what he had said with wide eyes, his heart, for once, stilling
in his chest. Taehyung gulped, slowly retracting his hand back to his side, averting his gaze to
their loosely entangled fingers between them.

Shit, he bit down on his lip, chewing the skin when the younger said nothing. He didn't mean
to rush in like that, hell, he still didn't even have a single plan on how he was going to
approach this conversation.

Taehyung had four years to prepare for this, and yet, his mind was empty, which was not
going to do a single thing for his heart that was overflowing with love that hadn't stopped
since their break-up.

Okay, he wasn't going to dive right in. There was no way he was going to overwhelm
Jeongguk since the guy didn't have a good track record with love, and he had to make sure he
wasn't going to—
"Taehyung." He blinked, realizing the younger was calling out to him. Taehyung pulled his
gaze away from his feet to his face, breath hitching seeing the fondness in his gentle eyes.

"Specs," Jeongguk whispered, his free hand reaching up toward the edge of his frame,
pushing Taehyung's sliding glasses back up his nose, unaware how the smallest of gestures
sent his heart into a frenzy.

"We have a lot to talk about," Taehyung joked, or at least tried to, "like what happened. Last
night. That."

"That," The younger nodded, his hand dropping back to his side, but the one holding
Taehyung's tightened. "Where do we start?"

"I honestly don't know."

"Well, there's four years of content to unpack," He said softly, the corner of his mouth
tugging upwards. "I don't blame you."

"God, Gguk, y'know how bad I am at this talking thing," Taehyung admitted sheepishly,
kicking at the dust over the stoned floors.

"You're not alone," Jeongguk snorted lightly, "so let's start with the obvious things then.
That's an easy start right?" Taehyung raised an eyebrow at him.

"Sure, but like, what though?"

"Like why you broke up with Seojoon."

"Yikes," His nose crinkled, "we're really starting with that?" At that, Jeongguk chuckled,
flashing his front two teeth with a smile so endearing the older nearly melted right then and
there.

"I mean, you found out why I broke up with Jisoo," The younger shrugged. "S'only fair if you
tell me why you broke up with Seojoon. I still got 'best friend in the entire world privileges'
Specs."

"You're really using that right now?" Taehyung rolled his eyes, nudging his side with his
elbow.

Jeongguk chuckled, pushing him back, "Nah. You don't have to tell me. I was just kidding.
It's none of my business."

"Well now I have to tell you because you said that and made me feel bad," The older's brows
furrowed, mouth collapsing into a frown.

"M'sorry you have a weak ass heart."

"Jeongguk." He glared at him.

"Taehyung." Jeongguk peered over at him from the corner of his eye, his body angled toward
the Eiffel tower and the sun, which was already sinking into a pool of saturated yellows and
oranges and faint pinks, enveloped them in this warm, golden glow.

"He dumped me," Taehyung whispered, watching as the younger's shoulders slowly sagged
along with the smile on his face. "But I don't blame him at all. I realized I was just so... unfair
to him."

"Unfair as in?" The younger asked. The older cupped the side of his neck, trying to recall his
memories with him, which he didn't realize he had shoved to the back of his mind.

It wasn't like Seojoon treated him badly. It was more of the fact he just didn't care as much as
he should have. It was the effort he realized he had lacked, and the love for Seojoon that did
exist but he didn't quite show properly, or rather—

"I loved him, but I don't think I loved him in the way he wanted me to," He admitted, settling
with the first words that came to mind. "I always told myself I did since he lasted a long time,
and he made me happy but... I don't know."

There was nothing wrong with Seojoon. He was so patient with him, caring, and did all the
cute and cliche boyfriend things with Taehyung, which he appreciated. Sure, they had their
ups and downs like every other couple would, but something was just missing.

However, it wasn't just Seojoon. It was the others— all seven of them— that he had dated in
the last four years but none of them ever quite came close to 'love' and ended before they
could reach that possibility.

It took him forever to finally realize it, but now that he knew, he didn't know how to really
feel except that Jimin was totally right, and that he was most likely an asshole for being this
way.

The truth was that Taehyung couldn't ever love anybody as much as he loved Jeongguk.

Taehyung tried hard not to compare anyone with him since it was awfully unfair for his
partners, but he knew in the back of his mind for the rest of his life that he would always find
himself comparing them to Jeongguk without trying to.

That was the thing about first loves. Nothing could ever change or beat the standards that had
been set or exactly recreate the overwhelming, consuming sensation of being head-over-heels
for somebody who seemed as though they were made specifically for you.

Nobody could surpass Jeongguk, and a part of him supposed that was the only great love he
would get. Somebody had come close once but nobody, and he knew that well now, would
never ever beat what Jeongguk was for him.

And he supposed Seojoon caught on, ending it to save himself. To protect his heart. Perhaps
to also wake Taehyung up, which he managed to do in the end anyways.
"I think," Taehyung blurted out, staring ahead at the Eiffel tower, "it's difficult to actually
love someone else. Sure, you can say it, but do we ever really mean it unless we truly feel it?"

"Sure, but even then," Jeongguk added, "nobody knows what love is supposed to feel like."

"Yeah, 'coz it's different for everyone," Taehyung said in a matter of fact way. "But I do think
that everyone in life has this 'great love.'"

"A 'great love'?" The younger raised an eyebrow. He hummed, pulling Jeongguk's body
closer until he could feel the warmth of his chest behind his back.

"The love that tramples all other loves. The movie screen romance but in reality and it's all
you can think about because nothing else could beat it," He murmured, letting go of
Jeongguk's hand to wrap his arm around his waist, eyeing the younger to make sure he wasn't
uncomfortable, and thankfully, he wasn't.

"Have you experienced your 'great love' then?" He whispered, his grip tight around
Taehyung's waist, bringing him close to his side so he could murmur every word against his
ear.

"Yes," Taehyung breathed out without hesitating.

"I've experienced my 'great love' a long time ago."

"Could you experience it again?" Jeongguk asked, breath hot, somewhat ticklish behind the
shell of his ear. Taehyung exhaled, placing his hands over where the younger's perched over
his hip.

"No," He said, "I tried. I came close, but I realized I could never exactly replicate it."

"It was Sungmin, wasn't it?" The younger chuckled.

"What?" Taehyung pulled back, craning his head to get a better look at the younger to see he
was smiling directly at him, his eyes twinkling like old times.

"You were in love with him. I remember it. 2022 was the happiest I've ever seen you,"
Jeongguk said, his voice remaining low as though his words were only meant for Taehyung's
ears.

"I could tell when you're in love, Specs."

"Well, it ended," He grumbled, rolling his eyes, ignoring the way his heart spiked in his chest.
"He dumped me, and yeah, I actually cried, but that was 'cuz he was moving away to
America, and he didn't wanna do long distance."

"So was he it?"Jeongguk squeezed his hip, letting the older's fingers slide between his own.
"Was he your 'great love story' that rocked your world?"

"No," Taehyung whispered, throat suddenly closing as his cheeks began to prickle with that
familiar flush of heat. "Seojoon wasn't either."
"Then who was?"

"Are you playing dumb with me? Or do I seriously have to tell you," The older lightly
smacked his chest with the back of his free hand. Jeongguk tossed his head back, laughing
stupidly— genuinely.

"C'mon tell me, who was your 'great love' Tae?" Jeongguk said, obviously teasing him, but of
course, his stubborn ass wouldn't admit it when he was clearly getting a reaction out of him.

"Jeongguk, you're so fricking stupid," He groaned, lolling his head into the crook of the
younger's neck, nose pressed against the soft skin that smelled of detergent and some sort of
fresh bodywash.

"Then enlighten me with your big brain," Jeongguk chuckled, leaning his head against his as
the older tried to hide away from him. When he did say it, however, the words were an
incoherent mess against Jeongguk's neck.

"What? Repeat that," He teased, gently pushing the older off of him. Taehyung pouted,
staring up at Jeongguk, nose scrunched as he whined his name.

"Say it."

"You already know," Taehyung frowned.

"No I don't."

"Clearly you do."

"Just say it," Jeongguk laughed, "Tae tell—,"

"—It's you!" Taehyung finally said, managing to collect every remaining inch of confidence
and courage he had despite his face being on fire and the younger's annoying teasing. At that,
Jeongguk grew silent, his laughter fading in exchange for the soft look he spared him.

"It's you," The older repeated, "It was always you. The greatest love of my life was you, and I
wish—,"

"— You wish what?" Jeongguk asked, watching the older shrink in his arms, the words dying
on his tongue. Eventually, he swallowed before finally letting out—

"I wish it was still you," Taehyung confessed. Right as he opened his mouth to speak, to
apologize, the younger him off right before he could.

"Taehyung," Jeongguk said, pulling back, moving him so that he was standing in front of
him, his gaze fixing on the older.

"You can say it," He croaked, voice wavering as he forced himself to meet his gaze. His
stupid doe eyes that were always so clear, never failing to hide any of his emotions with those
damned stars.
"You can reject me already. Cut it off while you can."

"What? No, that wasn't what I was going to say," The younger said, brows creasing.
Taehyung's features eased, his adam's apple bobbing nervously

"Then what were you going to say?" He whispered, words cracking, teetering off his lips.
Jeongguk's grip on his waist tightened, clutching him harder as if he would lose him if he was
anymore careless.

"I was going to tell you that I never stopped," The younger mumbled, inhaling sharply as
Taehyung's eyes splay wide, his heart lurching forward.

"There wasn't a time where I ever stopped loving you, Tae."

"But," Jeongguk winced, his hand trembling against his side, "I need time. It's just—,"

"— Scary," Taehyung whispered, finishing for him. The younger lowered his head, the
corners of his mouth falling into a frown. "It's okay, 'cuz I'm scared too."

"You are?" He asked. The older nodded, his palm gravitating toward Jeongguk's face,
cupping the side of his cheek and carefully tilting his head upwards until their eyes could
properly meet.

"The last time I hurt you. I told myself I don't want to do that ever again, but I realized if I'm
going to love you, I'll probably somehow hurt you again and you'll hurt me too," Taehyung
ran his thumb over his cheek, softening beneath the younger's gaze.

"But the next time, I'm not going to run away. I'm tired of running. Hell, I spent four years
running," At that, Jeongguk giggled, his nose scrunching cutely, filling the older's chest with
this giddy warmth.

"I'll stay right here and take that risk, Gguk. I'll love you when I hate you. I'll love you when
you hate me, 'coz you're worth it. You matter a whole lot to me, so I'm not going to run
anymore," He stressed.

"Tae," Jeongguk whispered, pain settling in his eyes, and god, Taehyung couldn't take it. He
wanted to take away everything— his pain, his sadness— all of it just so he could be happy.

"You deserve better Gguk, but I don't think I can let you go again. So this time around, I
promise to be the better you deserve," The older said, running his thumb over the edge of his
frown, gently pressing the corners up into a smile.

"Tae, that's," Jeongguk breathed out, shaking his head, his lips briefly curling upwards, "that
sounds like everything I-I want."

"It does?" His expression brightened, but telling by the way Jeongguk refused to meet his
eyes, he knew there was more to this. There was still something holding him back.

"But I just... I need time. It's assuring, yeah, but I'm still y'know... It's not your fault, but I
think I need more time before we start something new."
"Oh well, I understand," Taehyung said, gently squeezing his cheek. "You don't have to
accept me right away, or ever. I just kinda threw this all on you, and we've been here for two
days."

"Well we also had four years," Jeongguk flashed him a small grin, one that didn't quite match
the dim twinkle in his irises.

"I know," The older brought his arms around his neck, pulling Jeongguk's chest against his
own. He sucked in a shallow breath, realizing how close yet so fucking far they were, but of
course, nobody could jump across a large gap on the first try.

"I'll wait for you," Taehyung muttered, resting his chin on the younger's shoulders, hugging
him tight.

"And we'll take it as slow as you want," He said, smiling feebly as the younger buried his
face into the side of his neck, the smallest of gestures enough to send his heartbeat into chaos.

"Oh and Jeongguk," The older suddenly pulled back, hand reaching into his pocket as
Jeongguk gave him a wary look. He fished around for some time before finally finding what
he wanted.

There, in his outstretched palm, were the exact same bracelets they made four years ago.

"What— Tae, you saved them?" Jeongguk's voice cracked, hesitation in his eyes as he
seemed unsure whether he could touch them.

"I found them in my dresser the other day. I forgot I packed them with me when I moved to
SNU," He chuckled lowly, handing Jeongguk his red bracelet while his other hand pulled his
wrist closer.

"You kept them," Jeongguk said, eyes glossed over. Taehyung's fingers hovered over his
wrist, gaze finding his way, asking silently if it was okay. The younger nodded, the back of
his free hand wiping at his eyes.

"Of course I did. I know you can't wear them when you play, but at least you can have them
on during the Opening ceremony," Taehyung hummed while the other sniffled quietly.

"You kept them," Jeongguk repeated again, this time, his bottom lip quivering as he blinked
back tears that were already escaping.

Carefully, he slid his blue bracelet onto his wrist, too aware of his own hands shaking. But
once he fit it over, the younger took his red bracelet, copying the same thing he did and
slipping it over his own. It felt like a silent promise, one that words couldn't justify the
meaning of, for it was something only the two of them could understand.

"Why are you crying?" Taehyung asked after staring at their bracelets that were now back
where they belonged, his other hand wiping away the tears rolling down Jeongguk's round
cheeks.
"M'happy hyung," Jeongguk said, finally meeting his gaze, and there, on his lips, was a
genuine smile that shined brighter than the twinkle in his eyes.

"M'happy too," Taehyung said, sliding his palm down to the side of Jeongguk's neck.

He smiled back at him before he couldn't hold it back anymore and brought him close,
wanting to hug him again until he couldn't, wanted to hold him close so he could feel how
crazy he was for him, how his entire heart beat solely for him, and for him alone.

♡♡♡

"Kim Taehyung!"

Taehyung's head whipped in the direction of a voice calling him over the booming music,
holding his phone close to his ear to realize the person he was calling for was right there in
front of him. Slipping his phone back into his pocket, a smile blossoming over his lips, he ran
into the arms of Jeon Hyejung.

"Ah look at you! You're fucking blonde!" Hyejung squealed, squeezing Taehyung tight as she
ruffled his hair. "God I haven't seen you in ages."

"You look so good," Taehyung shouted, plugging one of his ears to be able to hear himself.
He glanced over her shoulder to see the other Jeon sisters, all grown and looking away from
their phones to wave at him.

"Where's your parents?" He screamed, but Hyejung merely shook her head, signaling she
couldn't hear him as they sat down.

It was already loud as fuck, the bands below them playing all kinds of traditional French
festival music as the stadium filled with spectators for the Opening Ceremony.

There were a lot of people, endless seas of bodies dressed in their countries colors or waving
massive flags, chanting above the music the names of their homelands.

After repeating his words in Hyejung's ear, basically screaming into her eardrums, she said,
"Oh they're coming. They had to take a special way!"
"Is Jeongguk with his team?" She yelled back. He nodded, gaze flitting to her pretty floral
dress, which was themed in Japan's flag colors. He guessed he should have dressed up the
same way, since he was here to support Jeongguk after all.

"Will your mom be okay here?" Taehyung said after glancing around the stadium, realizing
this place wouldn't quite down until it actually started— which was in thirty minutes.

"She'll be fine," Hyejung patted his forearm, "God, I can't believe you're gonna meet her!
She'll love you!"

"You sure about that?" Taehyung winced when his voice nearly cracked. Thankfully, Hyejung
couldn't hear it, so at least he could save himself from some of the embarrassment.

Deciding not to destroy his vocal cords, Taehyung slumped into his seat, letting everything
practically settle in. Ever since he left the hotel, it didn't quite register with him that he was
going to actually meet Jeongguk's mom, so you could say he was floating.

Well, he wasn't, or at least, not anymore. Taehyung crashed, the reality of whole the situation
knocking him out of whatever floaty state he was in to remind him that he was meeting
Jeongguk's mother— the woman who basically raised him and shared her entire passion for
volleyball with.

Taehyung wasn't usually a nervous wreck. All of this was new to him: the sweaty palms, his
heart unable to properly calm himself, and fuck, he couldn't stop tapping his foot against the
floor, and if he tried to, his other leg would anxiously stomp instead.

Maybe if Jeongguk was here, he wouldn't be dying in seat, feeling as though time ticking
away slowly and suffocating him as if every passing second seemed to convince his lungs to
work against him and lead him to his slow, painful, and imminent death.

Fuck. It was just meeting his mom. It was no big deal that he was going to meet the woman
that literally gave birth to Jeongguk. Like, no pressure. It wasn't like he loved her more than
volleyball and basically cried his eyes out when he heard she had a stroke (and mind you,
Jeongguk rarely cried), so again, no pressure.

Okay, there was pressure. A shit ton of pressure.

He really wanted to make a good impression, but he was alone, and there wasn't a Jeon
Jeongguk to hold onto while he practically lost his mind. Well, either way, with Jeongguk or
not, he couldn't frick this up.

Jeongguk's mother meant a lot to him. If he messed this up, who would know how Jeongguk
would react when he found out? Plus he didn't want her to hate him, and most importantly he
didn't want her to be disappointed with him at all.

This wasn't solely about seeking her approval to date Jeonggul, or whatever. This was a
woman who played a major part in making the boy he loved into the person he was today.
Not only did he respect Jeongguk and his mother, this was so important to the younger, so it
made sense for it to be just as important to him that he does this right.

"Hey, you look like you're gonna explode," He nearly flinched out of his seat when Hyejung
whispered into his ear. The older merely chuckled, not at all looking offended when
Taehyung leaned away.

"Is everything alright?" She asked, gesturing at him when he finally managed to calm himself
down enough to listen to her.

"Yeah, I'm doing dandy," Taehyung whispered back, giving her a shitty thumbs-up, which
Hyejung most likely didn't believe as she gave him a dirty look.

"Tae, you look like you're gonna piss yourself. Is it 'cuz you're meeting our mom?" Hyejung's
scowl eased into a small smile when the younger didn't say anything, his arms crossed over
his chest as he awkwardly averted his gaze to his lap.

"Hey, you shouldn't be worried," She nudged his side, "Our mom already loves you."

Taehyung scoffed, "She hasn't even met me."

"But Jeongguk's talked about you a lot," Hyejung said, her words enough to kickstart
Taehyung's heart in his chest. He gulped, turning toward her to see her all-knowing smile.

"He has?" He raised an eyebrow at her, stomach fluttering at the idea Jeongguk talked about
him to his mom of all people.

"All the time. He talks about you like you're the most important thing in the world, and we
must know what you're doing because in his eyes, you're so cool and amazing," Hyejung
whispered softly.

"He's whipped, but he's also been through a lot," She added, watching the younger sink in his
seat, hiding his burning face behind his plams.

"So he's a bit hesitant, but since that kid loves you so much, he'll come around and realize
there's nothing to be afraid of."

"There's a lot to be afraid of," Taehyung said, only to let out an ow when Hyejung punched
his side.

"Tae, you're Taehyung and Jeongguk. You two will always come out of it together," Hyejung
said, but before she could say anything else, Hyelin was tapping her shoulder.

"They're here!" Hyelin said, and all five of them turned their heads to the beginning of the
aisle where their dad was pushing a smaller woman in a wheelchair and along side them was
Aunt June.

This was it, Taehyung thought, tongue trying to push back the lump in his throat seeing them
come closer. He wiped his trembling palms on his thighs, licking anxiously at his lips, blood
pounding in his ears.
When they finally joined them, the younger girls put away their phones to greet their mother,
but neither of them dared to run up to her side. It felt oddly intruding to be there, seeing the
girls all greet her with respectful bows, or wave at her and blow her kisses from where they
sat.

Jeongguk's mom was a beautiful woman without a doubt. Her short raven hair was tucked
beneath a floral headscarf tied around her chin, her ears were covered with earmuffs to block
the loud noise, and the dress she wore was in a matching pattern.

And there, on her pink-painted lips was a bright, crooked smile that reminded him too much
of her son.

Taehyung's breath hitched in his throat, not sure if he should really be here. All of them were
focused on her, and god why was he so out of place—

"Oh mom! This is Taehyung! Jeongguk's friend!" His eyebrows shot upward from his lap
when Hyein pointed at him.

"Hi Taehyung!" Aunt June also waved at him, to which he smiled and waved back at her
before returning his attention back to Jeongguk's mother, who was staring right at him.

"This is him," Hyejung started, gesturing at him. The younger waved at his mom, wincing
internally at how awkward he probably looked.

"He's really important to Gguk as you know. He's the one he tells you about," The oldest said
smoothly, her choice of words catching Taehyung off guard.

His mom hummed softly, nodding her head a little. Taehyung pried his gaze from Hyejung,
red cheeks prickling with a familiar warmth he could never get used to. Jeongguk's dad
wheeled his mom right into the handicapped spot next to him, her eyes studying him closely,
long enough to make him hold his breath.

"You can speak," Hyejung leaned close to his ear, "She's good at reading lips." At that, he
nodded stiffly.

"It's uh, a pleasure to meet you Ms. Jeon," Taehyung started, scratching the side of his throat
as he stared down at Jeongguk's mom, trying not to crumble apart right then and there.

Thankfully, she seemed to understand and gestured at him with her left hand to come closer.
So he did, the smile he wore easing on his lips.

"This is the dude Jeonggukie-oppa wouldn't shut up about," Hyelin giggled, earning a
collective chuckles from the other Jeon siblings.

Honestly, it should have been funny, but Taehyung's stomach decided to take a plunge and in
the back of his mind, he wondered what they told her.

Fuck, his hands were already clammy— he didn't want to ruin his impression on somebody
that meant the world to Jeongguk. This was it. He was doing it.
"Hi," Jeongguk's mom croaked, her fingers twiddling for Taehyung to take them in his own.
Quickly, he gave her his hand after rubbing the sweat off on his slacks, letting her hold onto
it.

"Hi there. You have a wonderful son," Taehyung said softly, smiling to himself when one of
the sisters let out an ooooh. Jeongguk's mom squeezed his hand lightly after giving her
daughters each a glare.

"I think he's an amazing person, and he's probably the best thing to have ever happened to me
to be completely honest with you," He murmured, sucking in a shallow breath in one last
attempt to calm down.

"I'm really glad to meet you, and I want to thank you for allowing me to be in Jeongguk's life.
I also hope you're recovering well. I was the one who drove him when you were sick."

Again, Jeongguk's mom squeezed his hand, but this time, her smile softened, approval
glimmering in her eyes.

"Ohh the show's starting!" Jeonkyung said once their dad was settled on their mother's other
side with Aunt June.

Taehyung nodded along with the rest of the family, but before he could pull back, Jeongguk's
mom grabbed his hand.

Nobody said a word as Jeongguk's mom fit her hand into his, not quite lacing their fingers but
holding on to him. On her lips was a content smile, her doe eyes sparkling in a way similar to
her son's.

He glanced down at her, raising an eyebrow, but she was smiling at her husband, nodding at
him that it was all okay. But of course, she looked to him for permission, and with a breath of
relief, thinking that maybe this went well, Taehyung squeezed her hand back.

It went like that for the rest of the show. Taehyung sat next to her, his hand always in hers.
The others didn't seem to mind it, or well, they did at first, but the family seemed to catch on
to what it meant before Taehyung could.

During the show, he learned from Hyejung that their mom lost the ability to speak fluently
again in her last stroke, and that she probably felt really bad that she couldn't talk to the only
person Jeongguk loved more than volleyball.

So, she said, to make up for it, she held his hand to show her approval for him— let her
actions sub in for words she could no longer say.

Taehyung appreciated the gesture, even giving her hand an assuring squeeze back. He didn't
mind it at all, for Ms. Jeon was a lovely person, smiling while she watched her kids jump out
of their seats at the cool performances and laughing silently at their childish bickering.

The entire time, Taehyung was enjoying himself. He loved Jeongguk's family; they
practically felt like his own, and the fear he felt before all this was basically nonexistent with
Mrs. Jeon gently squeezing his hand every now and then.

He'd laugh with the younger Jeon sisters, agree with Jeongguk's dad's comments about the
music choice, and even bicker with Hyejung beside him on what performance was better, all
like he was meant to be part of their family.

Eventually, all the theatrics came to an end, and it was finally time for the countries to be
announced for the torch-lighting. Athletes from all over the world— Sweden, China, South
Africa, Germany, Russia, Italy, and so on— walked onto the main floor, waving their
countries flags and showing off their nation's culture and colors in their outfits.

It was beautiful seeing everyone come together, all sharing smiles and waving at their
supporters while upbeat festival music played in the background. It wasn't until Japan's came
out, did Taehyung cheer.

It was easy to spot Jeongguk since their seats were close to the main floor. He was smiling at
everyone, his dark hair parted and styled, clad in a bright red blazer and white clothes, a
matching scarf tied around his neck, and in his other hand was a mini Japanese flag he
twirled around.

The entire family cheered for him, even Jeongguk's mother, who let go of Taehyung's hand to
pat her hand that was limp over her thigh. His sisters got of their seats, screaming his name
and waving at him, hoping to catch his attention.

All of this felt unreal. This rush of euphoria, and floods of serotonin that flushed through him
as he saw Jeongguk radiate with joy, finally living the dream he had always wished for.

This was all they had been working toward for the last four years, and now, seeing Jeongguk
the happiest he had ever been, Taehyung wasn't sure he could ever stop loving him.

Jeongguk scanned the crowd for them when they fell in line, smile waning on his lips until
his gaze landed directly on his sisters. He waved at their family, eyes scrunched by the
impossibly wide grin on his lips, and out of sheer excitement, his hands flew up to cover his
ears before he waved at them again.

But it was when Jeongguk's starry-eyed stare found Taehyung's did the older's heart seemed
hammer against his chest, swelling into his throat as he got the courage to wave at the one he
would always love.

And Jeongguk waved back, smile impossibly getting wider seeing him with his mom. If only
he was right next to him, would Taehyung shout those three words to the top of his lungs just
to see happiness forever in his doe eyes.

I love you, he mouthed, knowing Jeongguk couldn't see it but he did it anyways. I love you,
and I don't want to stop.
♡♡♡

Jeongguk's played volleyball for 15 years, but of course, the only game he was genuinely
nervous about had to be the first round of Olympic matches.

He had went to the bathroom like, three times since they got here. The guy was shaking, hell,
his hands never shake, and they were all gross and clammy so when he tried to set, the ball
slipped right off his hands. And fuck, his heart— it was like the thing was going to rip a hole
in his chest.

He tried to explain it all to his sister when she pulled him out of the lockerrooms to talk
outside, but she wasn't exactly that great in easing people's worries.

"You'll be fine," Hyejung repeated, leaning against the tunnel wall, her arms crossed over her
chest. "Just do your stretches properly and not fuck up your knee."

"That's easier said than done, noona," Jeongguk grumbled, doing the knee stretches his
professional trainer advised him to do before the games.

"Well, I mean, you had four years of rehab. Your knee might not be new, but you've done
well for a kid with a knee brace and acl tear," Hyejung pointed out, gesturing at her brother's
knee.

"M'scared I'm gonna fuck up, or something," He said, shaking out his free hand as he leaned
back on the wall, other bending his ankle up behind him.

"Well then hustle and make up for it."

"You suck ass at making me feel better," Jeongguk snorted, swatting his sister, watching her
snicker softly beside him.

"Hey m'sorry. I know it's nerve-wracking, but Gguk, you're doing the impossible right now.
Half of the athletes who get torn acls don't recover. You're here, at the Olympics because you
worked for it. Once you get on that damned court, it'll all go away. I promise you that,"
Hyejung said, reaching over to squeeze his shoulder.

Jeongguk cocked an eyebrow at her, "We've been standing here for twenty minutes, and it
took you that long to finally say something nice?"
"Fuck off," Hyejung rolled her eyes, lightly punching his shoulder. Jeongguk smiled, shoving
her back.

"Seriously though, why did it take you so long?" He asked, straightening out to his full height
when he noticed the older was checking her phone.

"'Cause, Mr. Team Japan," Hyejung said, flicking the side of his head. "Your lover's coming."

"My love— you mean Taehyung?" His brows crumpled together, "What? Why?"

"So you admit he's your lover!" She gushed. At that, the younger's eyes widened, and just as
he was about to object, he felt a gentle hand settle over the small dip of his back.

"Jeongguk has a lover?" He tensed, breath hitching in his throat hearing the older's low,
rasped vowels against his ear. He slowly whipped around, lips pressed into a thin smile to see
him.

Of course it was him.

"N-No I don't," Jeongguk stammered, eyes flitting nervously from Taehyung's hand on his
hip to the lazy smile Taehyung wore— and fuck, his heart just couldn't contain itself today.

"Well then that's good," Taehyung pulled his hand back only to flick his chin. "'Cuz then that
means I can still show you my surprise!"

"A surprise?" He side-eyed his sister, wondering what the hell was going on. However,
Hyejung gave him nothing but a wink, which honestly scared him a bit.

"I mean, it's nothing big, and I know you're probably really nervous— heck, I'd be nervous
too," Taehyung chuckled, "so, I came up with a surprise to make you less nervous and stuff."
He blushed.

"Where is it then?" Jeongguk asked, studying the older's get-up. He was wearing ripped
skinny jeans and a black oversized jacket that was zipped up. If he was holding anything, he
probably could have seen it but there was basically nothing to look at.

"I'm kinda scared you won't like it," The older let out an airy laugh, his palm coming up to
cup the side of his neck. Jeongguk's brow furrowed.

"What? No. That's impossible. I'll love whatever you have for me, Specs," He said, hand
reaching out to grab his shoulder before he could stop himself. The older glanced over at him,
biting down on his lip.

"Okay, fine," Taehyung's cheeks tinged a subtle red, the sight of it enough to make the
younger soften. He nodded, watching the older step back and unzip his jacket.

"Taehyung," Jeongguk whispered, his stomach dropping in his chest the second he saw the
letters.
"Taehyung, you did not," He shoved his fingers through his hair, shaking his head as
Taehyung pushed aside his jacket to give him a better view.

He was wearing his high school jersey. The exact same one he gave him all those years ago.

"You like it, Gguk?" Taehyung asked hopefully. The younger said nothing, instead making up
for the words he couldn't form for a hug as he threw himself into his arms.

"I love it," Jeongguk mumbled against his neck, feeing the older's arms wrap around him.
"Fuck, I love it so much." He whispered, burying his face into his scent.

"Remember that old high school tradition of giving your jersey to somebody for goodluck?"
The younger nodded, pulling back to see the older's gaze focused solely on him.

"Just like you wanted, I'll be there with your mom, and we'll be your goodluck charm."

"Tae," He tried, but the words couldn't form on his tongue, the whole situation overwhelming
on its own and now this was added to everything, but for some reason, he felt lighter.

"Go chase your dream," Taehyung said, reaching up to brush his hair behind his ear, a proud
smile fixed on his lips. "Knock 'em out, okay?"

Jeongguk nodded again, diving forward into then older's warm embrace. "What could I do
without you?" He mumbled, squeezing the older tighter in his grip, heart throbbing in his
chest.

At that, Taehyung merely laughed, the sound a deep rumble in his throat. He leaned back and
pressed his lips to Jeongguk's forehead, letting himself linger there a bit longer, their hearts
beating solely for each other, wanting to feel each other close for one more second.

Softly, he whispered against his skin, "You can do a lot of things, my beautiful boy."
Jeongguk's breath hitched, the praise easing his shoulders as his fingers found their way into
the older's blonde locks.

"But I believe that we could do a lot of extraordinary things together than apart."

"M'gonna win today," Jeongguk finally said, now facing the older, his arms wrapped loosely
around his neck while the older anchored him to reality, his hands gripping his waist.

"Yes you are," Taehyung nodded as they pulled away (hesitantly) from one another. Ready to
go back, he glanced over at his sister, only to see she was holding her phone out, giggling
silently to herself.

"What are you doing?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at her. Hyejung chuckled, slipping her
phone back into her pocket as Jeongguk joined her side.

"Saving shit for your wedding," She teased, only to get an eyeroll from Jeongguk. "Goodluck
little bro!" She managed to ruffle his hair just as he was about to walk out.

"We'll see you on the court! Goodluck!" Taehyung shouted after him, "Win today, alright?"
Jeongguk glanced at them over his shoulder one last time, nodding to the two of them before
sucking in a deep breath, knowing what was to come. This was it. All of his life, he prepared
for this moment, and now, it was here.

He was finally going to play on an Olympic court.

♡♡♡

The ball was in his palms, ready to be served.

Jeongguk gulped, already feeling cool sweat build on his brow as he stood beneath the
gleaming stadium lights in the center court, surrounded by thousands of spectators waiting
for the whistle to start the first game.

He scanned the crowd, quick to find Taehyung and his mother and the rest of his family, all
of them giving him thumbs up and smiles that eased the tension building in his shoulders.

Exhaling slowly, he got into his stance, only barely glancing over at his brace, which seemed
tighter around his knee. The arm sleeves he wore to cover his form arms squeezed at his
wrists.

I can do this. We're going to win, Jeongguk chanted, channeling all the power he worked
tirelessly to restore to be even make it here. This is it.

A shrill whistle silenced the arena, and soon, all eyes were on him. Jeongguk closed his eyes,
inhaling sharply before throwing the ball up in the air, all his worries melting away, freeing
him from reality as he became one with the sport he loved once more.

This was it, and he was going to make every second count.

♡♡♡
It was all a fucking blur.

Jeongguk couldn't believe it when they beat Egypt, his ears ringing the entire time his
teammates ran up to him, ruffled his hair, and nearly topple him over after a long five sets of
endless rallies he thought would never find an end to.

He couldn't remember how it was to play against Poland in the second round until somebody
had to shake him after the game and repeatedly tell them they had won. That they were going
to play against Argentina in order to make it to the finals.

The game against Argentina was a total black out. He couldn't remember much except
stepping on the court beneath the hot, blinding stadium lights, and being surrounded by
watchful eyes and knowing the commentators had a particular interest in him since the last
game, so there was more pressure.

But they won. They fucking won, and the finals made him dizzy to even think about. Gold
was so close, yet so far away, and holy fuck, he almost threw up his insides before standing
on court next to the world's top team— Brazil— who had the best record in the entire
national mens' volleyball organization.

The Brazil men were taller, beefier, and bulkier. On the Japan players, who were smaller in
comparison, they had the advantage. Maybe the aerial battles would be manageable, but on
the ground, it would be tough getting around their defense.

But Jeongguk fought nonetheless. He played until every muscle throbbed, he watched
carefully, picking out parts of the game while he was benched, and the second he got back, he
put his all into each move to at least give their team a fighting chance.

And the next thing he knew, they were standing on the podium, the Olympic's award music
blaring in the stadium and the crowd shouting their names.

But they weren't on the top.

Oh, they lost to Brazil. It wasn't a total blow out, but they secured silver overall, and even
though they didn't win gold, Jeongguk couldn't even believe he was standing up there with
the team's veteran ace in the first place.

Fuck, he wanted to cry, feeling that particular prick behind his eyes as he felt the weight of
the silver medal being draped around his neck. He inhaled shakily, cheeks aching from
smiling the entire time, and god, all the exhaustion and adrenaline and pain of rehab and
endless training made him choke up yet at the same, he was floating— merely existing in the
damned moment.
He was here, his dream finally achieved, and he was going home with a silver medal on his
first trip to the Olympics. He waved at all the cameras saving every glorious second and
spoke accordingly to reporters who praised him on his recovery and performance.

Jeongguk still couldn't believe it when they got off the podium, following the ace back to the
locker rooms, and their team was all patting his back, roughing him up like they usually did
and all of them congratulating another for a brilliant season.

It didn't all totally settle in until he saw his mother, Yugyeom, and his family at the end of the
tunnel, waiting for him. It was then did he realize that this was it. He made it. He achieved
his dream. It was over. He did it.

Tears were falling uncontrollably from his face the second he hugged his mother, holding
onto her while he sobbed into her shoulder, feeling her hand gently patting his back and her
smile against his forehead.

He pulled away from her to wipe at his eyes and at least try to control his breathing, but then
he was ambushed by his sisters and his aunt, all tackling him with one massive hug from all
sides. When they pulled away, he fistbumped Yugyeom, and even his dad hugged him.

All that was left was Taehyung. He could feel the older's gaze on him the second he whipped
around to find him. Jeongguk shook his head when the older spread his arms open. He
sobbed into his palm, chin trembling, and in no time, he crashed into his arms, burying his
face in his neck.

"You did so good. I'm so fricking proud of you," Taehyung squeezed his waist, his arms
bringing the boy impossibly closer while he sobbed against his neck, tears wettening his skin,
but he didn't seem to mind.

"I did it," Jeongguk whispered, leaning back to look at the older, not caring if they were too
close and the meda dug into his chest at an awkward angle, for he was so overwhelmed to
care.

"You did it, love," The older hummed, his other reaching up to cup his cheek, thumb wiping
away his tears as the younger flashed him a shaky smile.

"I did it," He repeated softly, pulling the older in for another hug, heartbeat thrumming in his
ears. "We did it," He murmured, hugging him tight, not daring to let go.

Even if it this happiness was only temporarily, he wanted it to last as long as he possibly
could have it.

♡♡♡
They went out to celebrate at a restaurant. Jeongguk decided so, preferring to spend time with
his family and friends than go to a massive banquet later to celebrate the Olympics with
people he didn't know.

It was better than any celebrity party anyways. They ate korean food at a restaurant Yugyeom
found, and they sat around, drinking with those who could do so legally, cracking jokes and
acting out their favorites plays in the final match against Brazil.

The medal was still sitting around his neck, glinting in the dim lights of the restaurant.
Occasionally would someone tug it, or ask to wear it, and he let them all have their fun with a
real Olympic medal.

But eventually, the celebration came to a close before anyone could get too drunk. His dad
needed to take Jeongguk's mother back to the hotel to rest. The other girls joined Aunt June
to catch a film at the Moulin Rouge, leaving Yugyeom, Taehyung, and Hyejung with
Jeongguk.

After leaving the restaurant, they decided to drink over at Taehyung's hotel room. Nobody
was really in the mood to go French clubbing, or even try it, so it didn't take a lot for them to
agree and crash there.

As of right now, they were situated on the balcony, sitting back in chairs and drinking glasses
of wine from bottles Hyejung bought from downstairs. It was a cool, breezy evening, the sky
already a dark, heavy blanket of stars, and below them, the city of Paris was alive, glowing
like a river of gold among the night.

Jeongguk was a bit drunk, but he wasn't exactly ruined. Perhaps you could say he was
nearing the end of his happiness high, and now, he was a bit burned out, fatigue weighing his
limbs and alcohol sloshing warmly in his stomach.

Hyejung and Yugyeom were catching up. He explained to her that he was dating San, and
that Jae whisked his boyfriend away to a big family vacation right when the Olympics were
held so he was quite lonely in a city of love.

On the otherhand, the oldest Jeon sibling tried to make a moping, drunk Yugyeom happy by
saying that her boyfriend had work, making her just as alone as he was.

Jeongguk and Taehyung exchanged amused looks when Yugyeom and Hyejung began to cry,
wondering why the hell they were alone in a place where love was supposedly to thrive.

Later in the night, after a lot of crying and sniffles, Taehyung managed to convince them to
go home on taxis. And they did, waving at the two of them and congratulating Jeongguk one
past time before disappearing out the door to go home and crash.
In the end, it left Taehyung and him, and when the older joined him back on the balcony, he
was the first to speak.

"You shitfaced yet?" Taehyung asked, bringing the rim of his wine glass to his lips.

"M'drunk enough," Jeongguk replied, watching him smile behind the glass before setting it
on his thigh. "You?"

"You could say the same," He chuckled lightly.

The conversation died after that, but as they sat there, enjoying one another's company in
silence, Jeongguk couldn't help but think in his drunken state about the two of them. Not just
their friendship but the other part of them. The chapter he thought they closed a long time
ago.

But in the time they had spent in Paris, all the things they have done and said, he realized that
maybe this wasn't the end.

Maybe, it was a new beginning he had been too scared to start.

"Did you mean it," Jeongguk suddenly blurted out, letting the alcohol speak for him, for he
was always a bit more confidant when drunk, and perhaps it made him a little less scared.

"Mean what?" The older raised an eyebrow at him, sinking further in his chair.

"Did you mean when you said you want me?"

"Oh," Taehyung hummed, crossing his leg over his thigh. "Well, of course. I do want you."

"Why though?" Jeongguk asked, tracing the glass rim of his wine glass, staring down at the
dark, blood red liquid he was yet to drink.

"Is that even a question? Gguk, I have a lot of reasons to want to be with you," He said, and
god, he could feel his intense gaze on him.

"You want me to list them?" The younger gulped, looking away to hide the way his entire
face flushed red. At that, Taehyung sat up in his seat, chuckling softly.

"Well, I love your laugh first off, and the way you scrunch your nose and touch your ears
when you're get excited. Even when you're painfully stupid, I still love you. I love your dumb
jokes, your smile, your passion for volleyball, and the way you love everyone with every
piece of your heart," Taehyung said.

"You see, Gguk. It's you. It was always you, and when I asked you to be my person in that
fucking bathtub," The two of them snickered at the memory.

"I said it because I loved you. I still love you, and I love everything about you."

"Even the bad parts of me?" Jeongguk asked, mustering the courage to meet the older's eyes,
his stomach doing all sorts of flips and twists when he did.
"Of course," Taehyung murmured. "Even the things I don't like about you, I love. Remember
what I said about finding somebody that will love you on your bad days, the good days, and
the days where you feel nothing at all?"

Jeongguk nodded, swallowing nervously, "I do."

"Well If you'd let me, I would do that. I'd love you when you hate me, when you don't wanna
look at me, and I'd still love you if you don't love yourself," He declared with all of his chest.

"It's just," Taehyung inhaled slowly, averting his gaze back out to the city scape, "You
complete my world, Gguk."

"Tae," The younger whispered, heart stuck in the hollow of his throat, wanting to say
everything but nothing at all, knowing what he could possibly say wouldn't be enough.

Nothing could ever be enough with Taehyung, but at the same time, nothing was enough
when he wasn't by his side. At least that when they were together, a part of him felt fulfilled.

The most selfish parts of himself wanted to love Taehyung again. The parts where he just
wanted to chase happiness and hold onto it a little while longer, to keep it all to himself, and
for once feel like he was able to be complete.

Taehyung was the best part of his life, the missing piece he didn't know he was searching for
until he found it. Loving Taehyung made his world make sense, and the ground feel like it
was actually beneath his feet— like he was in control of his emotions for once.

But loving Taehyung was also the worst part, the most painful part. They hurt one another
back then. Even if the world felt right being together, and everything seemed to fall into
piece, it wasn't easy to love him.

It was hard, and scary, and he was so fucking blind. So blind, he hurt him more than he could
love him.

In the last four years, he wondered if he even deserved the privilege to love Taehyung. He
saw how others could make Taehyung happy, how he wasn't the only one capable of making
the older feel loved, and that there were better people out there than him.

"I want that with you," He ended up saying before he could hold himself back, his teeth
gnawing on his bottom lip, "but at the same time, I just, no— I-I'm scared, Tae."

Scared to mess up. Scared to hurt you. Scared to not be enough. Scared to make you hate
me, he wanted to say, but he just couldn't. And a part of him guessed that Taehyung probably
feared the same things.

"Tae, to me, when I first saw you, I thought you were way beyond my imagination,"
Jeongguk admitted, chuckling a little, pain lacing his words.

"But I think again, and you are way beyond my imagination."

"Jeongguk," the older said, his voice catching in his throat.

"You deserve better. Way better than me," He whispered firmly, words nearly cracking. "I do
want you, but m'scared I won't be like the others. I won't be like Sungmin, who made you so
happy."

"H-Happier than when you were with me."

"You made me the happiest though," The older's brows crumpled together. Jeongguk shook
his head, forcing out a breathy laugh.

"Who says I could make you happy again? You saw what happened," He swallowed thickly.

"Gguk, I know, you didn't have your fair share of amazing relationships, but just because it
didn't work out, it doesn't make you incapable of loving another person," Taehyung started.

"Just because you feel like you're not enough, it doesn't mean I think that."

"But hyung," Jeongguk breathed out, "It's just so fucking scary."

"I know it's scary, Gguk. Hell, I'm scared. It scares me so much to want you back because
there's no guarantee I won't hurt you too, and yet I'm here, wanting you anyways," He said,
exasperatedly, gesturing out at nothing in particular.

"I want you even though it scares the shit out of me, and Paris made me realize that I can't
find you in another person, Gguk. No other person can make me feel the same way you do,"
Taehyung whispered softly.

"And as much as it scares me, it means I have something to lose," He finished, unaware of
the fact he was breathing heavily now, the words gushing out of him, all far beyond his
control.

"You are my best friend, my everything, and my fricking always. I don't want to lose you."

"I don't want to lose you either," Jeongguk whispered, his words nearly lost in the wind, and
it was as if in that moment, something opened inside of him, allowing him to let out the
words he always wanted to say.

They've never really had a conversation like this where they could sit down and talk. Sure,
they made up after arguments in the past, but never have they sat down and discussed their
feeings.

And for the first time in four years, here they were, talking it all out, putting everything
they've left unsaid out in the open. Even though it terrified him to, Jeongguk just knew they
needed this.

He needed this.

"When I-I lost you, Tae, I tried to pretend I wasn't hurting but I couldn't even function
without you, and it sounds so stupid but it was so true," Jeongguk sucked in a shaky breath.
"And when I finally got you back and I was so happy for once, I had to leave. I had to go to
Japan, and I was alone, and you were so far away," He squeezed his fingers into fists over his
thighs, feeling his nails dig into the skin.

"I'm not going to lie to you, plus you already know but," Jeongguk breathed out, "It was the
worst first few months, Tae. I-I relapsed, a-and I felt so fucking alone when I realized where
my life was at, how hard things were going to be. And then, I went to therapy, and finally I
got proper help."

"You're better now right?" Taehyung asked, concern flashing in his eyes as his hand reached
over between them, quick to find the younger's.

"I'm managing," The younger said, smiling shyly at their entangled fingers, his heart
squeezing in his chest. "But you can say I'm happier."

"You are?" The younger nodded. "Well that's good. It's okay to not be okay, Gguk."

"I'm learning to believe that," Jeongguk said, sighing. "But Tae, I just want you to know this."

"Know what?" He raised an eyebrow at him, watching as the younger closed his eyes,
drawing a shaky breath as his grip around the older's hand tightened.

"Jeongguk is something—?"

"—I love you, Specs."

From the corner of his eye, he noticed the older froze, the wine glass he was bringing to his
lips stopping midway before lowering back down to his lap. Jeongguk couldn't hear anything
over the incessant throb of his heart that left his world spinning, and his mind on an axis, but
he pushed on.

It was now or never. He already had everything he could ever want except for Kim Taehyung.
And even though there was a chance he couldn't have him, he waited way too long to tell him
how he felt.

"I'm four years too late with a confession," He said, laughing gently, removing his hand to
trace hearts on the older's palm.

"But I want you to know, that I've like, never ever really stopped. I don't think there ever was
a day where I woke up and thought 'I don't think I love him anymore'." He flashed him a
crooked grin, his fingers lacing with his once more.

"To be honest with you, it was the other way around: 'I think I love him a bit more today'."

"That is so sappy oh my god," Taehyung tried to cover his face with his wrist, failing to hide
the rectangular grin that never failed to make Jeongguk's heart skip a beat.

"When I met you," He continued on, holding onto Taehyung's hand for assurance, "I felt like
I was drowning. I was drowning, and you were like coming up for a fresh breath of air. You
saved me. The only time I don't feel like I'm drowning is when you look at me, because when
you look at me, you see me struggling and you actually save me."

"You actually saved me, Specs."

"Is that all?" Taehyung teased, bringing his hand to his mouth, grazing his knuckles with his
smile as the younger blushed feverishly.

"Well, and I wanted to say that my world is a less complicated and better place with you in
it," The younger murmured, breath shallowing feeling the older press a kiss to his wrist.

"But you're still scared," He said, lips pressed against the material of his long sleeves. The
younger shrugged, glancing down at his lap.

"Yeah. I'm terrified to love you because I'm scared I won't do it right," He whispered. "I'm
scared I'm gonna fuck it all up, and I'm scared you're not going to love me anymore when you
realize how hard it is to love me."

"We couldn't do it the first time Tae, what guarantees we won't fail the second?"

"Well, nothing. There's no guarantee that we won't mess up," Taehyung said, sliding his palm
over his cheek, leaning against his rough touch.

"The thing I've learned about love is that we're gonna keep messing up and failing, but we
just can't run away anymore," He murmured.

"We're not gonna walk out when it gets hard. I'm gonna stand right here, and we'll take care
of it," Taehyung set his glass aside, tugging Jeongguk up. Brows furrowing, he followed him,
watching as Taehyung got to his feet as well.

"It's been four years, and I'm not gonna chase after you anymore," The older declared, their
bodies now parallel, facing one another.

"I'm not gonna chase you because I'll be right here, by your side, and I'll wait for you when
you're ready to say 'fuck you' to being scared and love me," He said, his gaze fixing on him
as he held his hands between them.

"It's scary and we'll know nothing, but at least we know something, and it's the fact we love
one another, we're scared shitless, and that we're still willing to take the risk and try, ok?"

Jeongguk swallowed thickly, feeling the older let go of his hands, instead grabbing at his
waist to pull him closer. He gasped lightly, his eyebrows easing slightly when their chests
bumped against one another's, slowly tilting his gaze up to meet the older's.

Fuck, he was a dream. Standing there, cheeks were dusted in red, his golden fringe brushing
right above his eyes, the moonlight entrapped in his thick eyelashes, and his lips wet and
slightly parted, breathing harshly, heavily as if he poured meaning into his words.

And it was there, in his drunk, buzzing stupor, standing somewhere in Paris and feelings all
out and exposed, leaving him a vulnerable mess, Jeongguk realized that Taehyung was more
than just a dream.

He was real, and he could touch him, feel the softness of his skin beneath his rough finger
tips. He was so real, that he could have him, and it was as if Taehyung was offering himself
to him, giving him his all, knowing how awfully terrifying it was to open up to another
person.

Kim Taehyung was everything he ever wanted, hell he was everything he knew he needed,
and even though it scared him to love him, if he was willing to take the chance and risk it all,
then maybe he should take the leap too.

Because unlike the others, he wouldn't be falling into nothing— Taehyung would be there,
finding a way to catch him.

"Jeongguk, I'm with you. I'm with you because I want to be — I'm with you because I love
you," Taehyung stressed, letting the younger's palms capture either side of his face.

"And you, you're my everything. I love you, and I'm not going to stop. I love you, and that's
that," The older whispered, his irises flitting down to his lips.

"So you love me?" Jeongguk raised an eyebrow at him, squeezing the older's cheeks.

"And you wanna date me again?"

"Did you not just hear me go on about how much I love you?" Taehyung frowned, lightly
smacking his chest. "Are you deaf?"

"I just wanna hear it again," He whispered, holding the older in place, unable to the smile that
twitched over his lips when he rolled his eyes at him.

"I love you. There, I said it. Plain and simple," The older said. "Why are you smiling like
that?"

"Say it again. Louder."

"Jeongguk, I love you," Taehyung snorted, smacking his chest again, but this time, he let it
stay there, his fingers gripping the fabric of his hoodid.

"Again," Jeongguk chuckled softly, bringing their foreheads close as the older scoffed.

"Jeon Jeongguk. I am in love with you, and I will be in love with you until I'm old and
gross," He giggled, pressing his nose against the other's, Taehyung's hand finding solace in
the patch of hair over Jeongguk's nape.

"Want me to say it again?" He whispered. "If I keep saying it, you're gonna get sick of me."

"Don't want you tired of me just yet, Gguk."

"I'll never get sick of you, Specs," Jeongguk pulled back, caressing the older's cheek, breath
hitching in his throat seeing him lean into his touch like he was finally back home after being
lost for so long.

"Then why are you making me say it?" He asked, giggling when Jeongguk pecked his cheek.
"God, stop, you're so sappy."

"Because, Kim Taehyung," Jeongguk said, breathless, knowing if he said this, this was it.
There was no turning back.

"I'm a scared little shit, and I'm probably going to break your heart a lot of times because of
my dumbassery, and maybe you'll break mine," He said, gently tugging him close, words
spoken so soft it was as if they were only meant for Taehyung.

"But I swear, I'll make it up to you by loving you even more. Even though we'll be scared
together, I won't run. I promise to stay— to stay and be yours as long as if you want to be
mine."

"Be yours?" Taehyung whispered quietly, his eyes rounding. Jeongguk nodded, finding
himself leaning into the older, his lips barely brushing his.

"I'll be your always, and you'll be mine," Jeongguk murmured, watching Taehyung's eyes
flutter shut, his grip on his hair tightening.

"Does that sound good?" The older nodded.

"It sounds perfect," He whispered, and with one final smile, Jeongguk kissed him.

At first, it was a small nip of his lips, teasing him and barely even kissing him really, evoking
a smile from the older and another pat on the chest for being an idiot. But eventually, he let
out a sight through his nose, dipping forward and kissing him properly.

It started off sweet, gentle, and slow, not daring to rush what this was, knowing in the back of
their minds, they had all the time in the world. Jeongguk wanted to savor every second of it,
wanted to remember how exhilarating it was to kiss him, to feel his lips moulding against his
own once again as though they were made for one another.

But eventually, he grew impatient, teeth grazing, nibbling, and sucking on Taehyung's bottom
lip. He gasped softly, feeling the older tug at his mane, their knees knocking together as
Taehyung signaled him to start moving back— and he did.

He kissed him harder, angling his head in a way to deepen the kiss, tongue gliding over his
soft bottom lip and coaxing inside as the older gave him permission. He tasted faintly of wine
and strawberries as his tongue licked every corner of his mouth, flicking behind his upper
teeth, the warm muscle curling around the older's in a mess of saliva and wet pants.

Jeongguk backed into the hotel room, trying his best to maneuver himself without running
into any furniture. He held onto Taehyung's face while the older gripped at his hip, guiding
him to where the bed was.

He scooped Taehyung in his arms, spinning them around so that he was on top of the two.
Effortlessly, he picked him up and carefully lied him over the satin sheets, crawling on top as
he reluctantly broke the kiss.

"So what does this mean?" Taehyung asked, propping himself up onto his elbows as the
younger fit between his legs, dipping down to kiss him again, hard, wet, and hot.

"Can you not read the room?" Jeongguk grumbled, voice rasped as he pressed his lips to the
edge of the older's mouth, hand digging into the side drawer after the older told him where he
kept the things.

"Oh I can read the room, alright," He chuckled, running his hands down his chest, head
falling back onto the pillows, blonde hair a wavy mess across the sheet haphazardly.

"I just wanted to tell you something that I learned recently," Taehyung said, to which the
younger muttered a low what toward as he tossed the bottle of lube and condoms to the side.

"J'ai envie de toi."

Oh fuck. Jeongguk pulled back, eyes splayed wide as he hovered above the beautiful boy,
whose lips were coated in saliva and swollen from his constant teasing.

"What does that mean?" He whispered, stomach pooling with warmth as he helped the older
out of his shirt, tossing the fabric to the side before dipping down to kiss him yet again.

"I want you," Taehyung moaned softly when Jeongguk nipped at his neck, pressing wet
kisses down the slope of his honey-tanned skin, alternating between sucking and teething at
the blank canvas.

"Fuck," Jeongguk cursed, sucking at the skin beneath the older's jaw, and he wasn't sure if it
was because it had been awhile, or since it was Taehyung, that the space between his legs
began to tighten.

"J'ai— J'ai besoin de toi," Taehyung's back arched slightly as the younger peppered kisses
down his chest, lips hovering above his nipple.

"And what does that mean?" He eyed him carefully, flicking his tongue over the stiff peak,
feeling Taehyung's body shiver in sensitivity. God, he was beautiful. So fucking beautiful and
so lovely, he was going to make tonight the best one Taehyung's ever had.

After all, it had been a long time since they had been together like this. He just had to make it
memorable.

"I need you," Taehyung whined, hiding his eyes behind the back of his wrist as Jeongguk
captured his nipple between his lips, grazing his teeth over it, teasing it between his tongue.

"F-fuck, Jeongguk," He squirmed, moaning as his free hand twisted his other one between his
thumb and index, making him a mess of little whines and pants below him, such lewd sounds
building the pressure between his legs.

"W-wait," The older swallowed thickly, his grip on Jeongguk's hair pulling his head off of
him, "take off your shirt."
"Why?" Jeongguk asked dumbly, wincing when he realized that of course. They were going
to fuck— he needed to be naked.

Taehyung snorted, flicking his forehead though the fond smile on his lips said otherwise,
"Yeah, and also 'cuz I haven't seen your arms for like five weeks already."

"Okay, well," The younger got to his knees, his fingers gripping at the bottom of his hoodie.
"I don't want you to freak out."

"Freak out as in how?" Taehyung asked, his palms settling on Jeongguk's thighs. The younger
gulped, deciding he had to seem them eventually, so in one swift motion, he pulled off his
hoodie and discarded it to the side.

"Holy shit," He whispered in awe, fingers reaching out for the younger's arms once they came
into view.

"You got tattoos?"

"Yeah," Jeongguk blushed shyly, letting the older trace the black ink that ran up his forearms,
the older gasping quietly while he stared at them closely.

"When did you get them?" Taehyung asked, running his thumb over the endless vines and
flowers that curved around his forearm, eyes widening when he spotted the tiger lily and
skull peace-sign.

"I got them like two months ago," Jeongguk shrugged, breath hitching in his throat when the
older slowly turned his forearms around.

"You covered it," He whispered softly, running the pad of his thumb over the barely visible
pale thin scars hidden beneath black ink.

"Yeah, my therapist suggested if I covered them with things that make me happy, I'll look at
them and heal," Jeongguk muttered quietly, breath hitching in his throat when the older
kissed over each scar.

"And these make you happy?"

"They remind me of you. So yeah, they do."

"Well they're perfect. Beautiful, even. You're so beautiful," He murmured, staring back up at
him, pupils blown, and lips curved in the most love sick smile that had Jeongguk's heart
spasming in his chest all over again.

"I love you, my strong boy," Taehyung said, brushing away the younger's hair behind his ear,
the back of his fingers caressing down the curve of his jaw.

"Fais-moi, l'amour," His thick accent coated the words heavily, slurring them almost, the way
they rolled off his tongue effortlessly made Jeongguk's heart throb.
"Now what does that mean?" Jeongguk asked, easing him out of his pants and soon after, the
two of them managed to discard all their clothes to the side, finally exposed.

"Make love to me," He whispered, watching as the younger's pupil expand, his jaw tensing at
the sudden declaration.

"You want me to?" The younger hesitated, knowing the two of them were still drunk, so of
course, it was just in case the older didn't want to do it anymore.

"Of course," Taehyung pulled him closer, shakily pressing his lips against his, breath hot and
ticklish over his upper lip.

"Make love to me, Ggukie."

Jeongguk flipped the older over kissing down the valley of his back, hands wandering up and
down his slim waist, squeezing at the soft pliant skin. Eventually, his hands gripped at the
back of Taehyung's thighs, propping the older up so his ass was properly in the air.

"Okay, but first, I've always wanted to do this," Jeongguk murmured, fingers massaging his
firm ass, never failing to be in awe at the way the round golden globes filled up his palms.

God, Kim Taehyung was so perfect— all the way to his broad shoulders, sunkissed skin, his
soft thighs, his petit waist, his plump, massive cock dangling hard between his legs, and his
glorious ass that Jeongguk admitted to have missed dearly after so long.

To think that this perfection was going to be shared with him, and him alone from now on.

"You're so fucking pretty," Jeongguk growled, pressing aside each cheek with his thumbs,
marveling in the way Taehyung's pink hole twitched at the exposure to the cool, hotel room
air.

"Do what— oh mhm," Taehyung drawled out a low moan, head hanging between his
forearms as Jeongguk dragged the flat of his tongue over his taut entrance.

"Fuck, J-Jeongguk," The older gasped out, but before he could roll his hips back, the younger
reached out, clamping his thighs and holding him still. He sucked at his rim, keening with
every low, rasped moan he coaxed from the older.

He lapped at the ring of muscle, sucking and teasing his teeth around its sensitive ridges as
the older moaned, body shuddering with every touch. Taehyung gasped out, sputtering his
name as his thumb pressed down against his perineum. The older cried out, body shaking,
trembling, as Jeongguk dipped his tongue into him.

Jeongguk ate him out hungrily, a low, gutteral noise rumbling in his throat as the older tried
to grind against his face, desperate for more. He flicked his tongue in and out of him before
finally pushing the wet muscle inside, hearing a mess of oh fucks and shit from the older as
he clawed at the bedsheets.

He plunged his tongue deeper into his hot, ridged walls, sucking wetly, lapping his tongue,
mind spiraling into nothing, thinking about nothing except for the feeling of Taehyung
clenching around him, moaning out his name, and falling apart just for him.

The younger pulled away, reaching over to grab the lube on his side. He flicked the bottle
open, eyeing the older as his body twitched, ass wriggling for more, wanting Jeongguk to
touch him until all of his thoughts were on the younger pleasuring him, making feel so good
he couldn't remember his own name.

"You're desperate, huh?" Jeongguk chuckled, pouring lube over his fingers, making sure to
put a lot, guessing it might have been a while for the older.

"Really want my cock that bad, hm, bun?"

"Oh fucking hell," Taehyung groaned, hissing when the younger drizzled the cool gel over his
swollen asshole, "d-don't talk like that."

"Like what? M'just being honest, baby," He said, rubbing the lube between his fingers before
bring them down to his entrance, circling the pads over his twitching hole.

"I-It's new. N-never had you s-speak like that before," He whined, gasping when the younger
dipped a finger inside, his head lolling forward into his forearms as the younger slid inside of
him, rubbing around his inner, muscular walls.

"I-I don't want you to speak like that," The older whispered, glancing over at Jeongguk, his
eyes already glossed over, dazed in bliss.

"I w-wanna feel loved," He added quietly, a bit too quiet, for the younger almost missed his
words.

Jeongguk's eyebrows eased, realizing what he meant, and before he could proceed, he flipped
the older onto his back.

He settled above him, finger finding it's way back into his ass, as he stared down at the older,
basking in the way Taehyung's body was on display just for him, finding him all kinds of
beautiful seeing him writhe and his lips fall open with breathy, resonant moans with each
curve of his fingers inside of him.

"Is this better?" Jeongguk asked, leaning down to press a kiss against his jaw, his other arm
circling around Taehyung to bring their chests closer together.

"Y-Yes— hng," Taehyung breathed out, the skin between his brows creasing as the younger
slid in another finger, stretching him out carefully and slowly, putting every ounce of his love
and adoration for him in the way he handled his body with absolute patience and
consideration.

The older wrapped his arms around his neck, burying his face into the crook of Jeongguk's
neck, muffling his moans as his long, nimble fingers played with his hair. Taehyung tensed,
hole clenching around Jeongguk while he caressed his inner walls, pumping his fingers lazily,
thumb applying light pressure on his perineum.
It was slow and oddly perfect, a new pace he found himself loving. It was in the way he
languidly fucked him with three fingers and found solace on Taehyung's lips and silent
moans, kissing him gently, smiling against his mouth, their foreheads pressed together as he
watched Taehyung's jaw go slack and eyes squeezed shut as his body tremored below him,
wave after wave of pleasure satisfying him.

Every breathy whimper, groan, hiss, and cry, he reveled in, finding Taehyung beautiful as he
blossomed before him, vulnerable, exposing himself. In another time, perhaps he would have
rushed and fucked him hard and fast until he was throwing his head back, fingers digging
into his shoulders, and screaming his name, spiraling head on to ruination.

But now, he found himself getting lost in his every reaction, discovering new reasons to love
him and familiarizing himself with the ones he had finally reunited with.

There was no need to be fast, to speed up and get this over with. They had been apart for too
long, too many years and days and seconds and moments spent separated to take this moment
for granted.

So, he took his time getting to know the older's body all over again, relishing each graceful
arch of his back, pressing kisses over each beauty mark and imperfection he found that made
him perfect, and savored every second he spent unraveling him to make up for lost time.

"Jeongguk," Taehyung rasped, spreading his legs open wide to fit him between, hooded gaze
following the younger while readily aligned himself against his entrance.

"Yeah?" He whispered, brows furrowing when the older drew him in for another sloppy kiss,
breathing shallow, teeth clicking and chins bumping haphazardly against one another.

"I missed you," The older carded his fingers through his hair, shakily bringing him forward to
kiss him again, humming lowly into the kiss, this time, their tongues curling around one
another's, sucking, teasing, dripping saliva every where.

"I missed you too," Jeongguk said, groaning into the junction of Taehyung's neck when he
entered him slowly, inhaling his sweet perfume combined with the scent of sweat and sex.

"G-God, please, all of it— mmh, fuck, Gguk," Taehyung babbled, moaning out his name in a
slur of broken vowels when the younger finally bottomed inside of him, his pelvis pressed
against the curves of his asscheeks.

"I will, baby," The younger mouthed at his jaw, his grip firm on his hips, squeezing at the
supple skin.

"I'll fuck you so good."

Shit, his mind nearly went blank for a second, the overwhelming sensation of the older's tight
walls clenching around his throbbing cock. It had been long, too long. He growled, a deep,
carnal sound building in his throat and rolled his hips forward, only to be met with the older
tugging harshly at his scalp and his hot, resonant whimpers against his ear.
"God, you're so fucking tight," He watched the older keen at every gentle thrust of his hips,
his head pressing back into the pillows, mouth ajar, spilling with all kinds of satisfied noises.

Jeongguk hovered above the older, palm sliding over the curve of his cheek, the pad of thumb
brushing over his kiss-swollen lips. He sighed, watching Taehyung nuzzled into his touch,
staring at him with this fondness that made him feel loved, feel wanted, needed.

"Jeongguk?" The older whispered, lips pressing against his inner palm.

"What?" He asked, rubbing the side of his hip, trying to ease whatever's left of the pain of the
stretch. Taehyung slowly wrapped his arms around his neck, drawing him close, their
foreheads, damp with sweat, leaning against one another's.

"Fuck me," Taehyung murmured softly, freeing one of his hands to cup the side of the
younger's face, his fingers sliding into his hair, staring up at him with all the love in his eyes.

"Fuck me like you love me."

And so, he did.

He took extra care with every thrust, angling his hips in a way that made Taehyung shiver
and whine below him, the gentle slap of skin against skin filling the dimly lit hotel room
along with their shallow, airy sighs and heavy, gutteral groans.

They were in the dark, seeing nothing but one another's faces coated in hues of marvelous
blues, eyes shut, jaws slack, and lips parted, and hands reaching every to touch, to hold, to
feel anchored in the moment with each slow rock of their bodies melding into one.

Taehyung was the first to fall apart, unraveled and exposed, his ribcage ripped out in the
open, heart exposed and beating solely for the younger who pleased him, loved him. Who
made sure to treasure his every dip and curve, praising and kissing and caressing every part
until he lathered him with so much love, that the older was coated in purplish bruises and
faint kisses branded into his skin.

And the longer he pumped into him, picking up his pace, chasing a high that was so close yet
out of reach, and somewhere along the lines, he too fell apart.

He too felt like he was being split open, ribs cracked apart down the center, heart just as
vulnerable as the rest of him. And this— this wasn't just making love anymore.

It was taking pieces of themselves and putting them together to create something beautiful,
something new and familiar. Like the stars in the sky coming together to twinkle as one, like
two perfectly timed collisions, combining to become part of a bigger purpose— a brand new
galaxy.

Fuck, his hips sputtered, shoulders hunching as the older's breath tickled against the shell of
his ear, murmuring all kinds of praises and encouragements, and in the midst of all this bliss,
he brought his forearm to his lips.
Taehyung's intense, hooded gaze never left his as he pressed his mouth against his old scars,
trailing kisses down his faded wounds hidden behind inky flowers, saying on repeat how
amazing he was, how he was his strong, pretty boy, who made him so happy and proud and
feel so fucking full, so fucking good.

And somehow, the younger stopped, bent over the older, who was hugging him close, fingers
buried in his hair. He didn't realize he was trembling until the older took his hand in his,
squeezing it tight, and through his blurry vision he could see his arm was shaking.

"Baby," Taehyung said softly, kissing his knuckles, "it's okay." Jeongguk frowned, unsure
why he was saying that until he felt the first tear roll down his cheek.

God, he was crying. He was actually crying while making love to the person that held his
heart for the last four years of his life. He sniffled loudly, knowing it was probably weird and
uncomfortable to have stopped inside the older, but he made no move to tell him off.

"I-I'm sorry, i-it's just a lot, and I'm so happy right now, so l-like it's not settling in at all,"
Jeongguk said in between tears, crying softly as Taehyung reached up to cup his face.

"Shhh, it's okay. It's real. Your happiness is real, and I'm here, Gguk. I'm right here,"
Taehyung said, consoling him as he carefully wiped away his tears.

"This is all real, baby." That— that only made him cry harder.

"H-Hyung," Jeongguk whimpered, leaning into the older's touch. "I-I never cry."

"I know you don't, but it's okay. You're happy," He said, squeezing the side of his cheek, the
edges of his lips curled into a small smile.

"And you know what?" Taehyung said, pushing his arms up on the mattress. "Flip over." And
the younger did right away, now leaning against the headboard while Taehyung sunk down
on him, hissing quietly as his cock entered him, filling him up deeper.

"Now look at me," The older guided his hands to his hips, patting them before letting go. "I'm
real. All of this is real. And I want you look at me as I ride you, alright?" He nodded.

"Remember what you always wanted me to say?" Taehyung leaned forward, draping his arms
around his neck, his nose brushing against his jaw.

"What?" Jeongguk breathed out, blinking away the tears that coated his eyelashes, the two of
them moaning in harmony when the older bobbed his hips at the right spot.

"Yeehaw," The older chuckled, breathing heavily into the younger's ear. God, it was so stupid,
and yet, Jeongguk was laughing. He was actually laughing, and fuck, he loved him.

Taehyung fell silent, his eyes squeezing shut as he gripped the younger's shoulders while he
bounced up and down on his cock, lips parted and head tossed back, his moans growing
louder with every thrust.
Eventually, the younger's hips bucked upward to meet Taehyung halfway, their pace growing
desperate, less controlled as neither one of them seemed to hold back. Jeongguk gripped his
hips, fingers digging into his sides while he fucked into him, wanting nothing more but to
reach their highs, to see each other peak at their most vulnerable point.

And they did, managing to find release at the same time as Jeongguk plunged his cock
repeatedly into the older's prostate, fucking him fast and hard and thoroughly until they were
both groaning out one another's names as they scrambled to find each other's lips.

Finally, Taehyung collapsed into him, coating their stomachs with white while the younger
spilled into the condom buried inside of him. For a moment, they sat like this, in silence,
simply staring at one another in the dark as they came down from their highs.

Nothing could be heard except for their heavy panting and perhaps even the thrumming of
their hearts in seemingly perfect sync. He eventually pulled out of the older, tying the soiled
rubber and tossing it into the bin.

"I think I'm in love with you," Taehyung breathed out, the two of them now lying on their
sides after the younger used a shirt to clean up the come on their stomachs.

"You think?" Jeongguk raised an eyebrow at the older, pulling the covers up, watch the older
snuggle into his arms.

"I know I love you," He hummed, staring up at the younger, resting against his chest. "It's just
I think I love you more. I can't believe I forgot how good you are at sex."

"Even when I stopped and cried midway?" He teased, pulling the older close, their legs
entangling beneath the sheets as he pressed a kiss to his forehead.

"Yes, it made it even better. Means you care a lot about me," Taehyung said, sighing in
content as buried his face in the crook of the younger's neck. "I love you, Gguk."

"I'm sorry it took four years to get my head out of my ass to realize that."

"You don't have to be sorry about that," He snorted, his hand reaching up to card through the
older's soft, golden locks. "Things happen for a reason. We weren't ready back then."

"I don't think anyone's ever ready for stuff like this," Taehyung whispered, voice growing
thick with exhaustion, the post-orgasmic bliss dying out on his tongue.

"I think it's a matter of having the courage to accept that you'll always be a fucking coward
and take that leap of faith anyways, knowing the person that you love will be by your side."

"Is that so?" Jeongguk smiled, eyes falling shut as his mind began to fade in and out of
consciousness. The older nodded, pressing his body closer to his. "God, I love you."

"And I love you too," Taehyung murmured, sighing as he found himself content in his arms
like this was the place he was meant to be.

"Always?" He whispered, staring up at him.

For Jeongguk, well, he knew this was where he belonged. Coming back to Taehyung was like
returning home after being lost for so long, and now that he was back in his arms, in his life,
knowing that he loved him back, he never wanted to leave ever again.

After all this time, he finally had everything he ever wanted, and for once, he truly believed
he finally deserved to be happy.

"Always," Jeongguk kissed his forehead. "Always."

♡♡♡

"Why did you bring me here?" Jeongguk asked, brows furrowed. It was early in the morning,
and Taehyung had dragged the poor boy out of bed, taking him to a secluded area to see one
last thing before their trip to France came to a close.

"We're at the Wall of Love," Taehyung said, squeezing his boyfriend's hand as he dragged
him closer, noticing the skepticism in his stare.

"Okay and?" The younger yawned, rubbing at his eyes. Taehyung wrapped his arm around
him, chuckling warmly as he let him rest his head against his shoulder.

"I just wanted to bring you here," He shrugged, the two of them stopping in front of the blue
wall, eyes darting all over the yellow text filled with different languages meaning all the
same thing— love.

"It's pretty. Look. Saranghae," Jeongguk snorted, pointing at the Korean painted on the wall.
The older rolled his eyes, though of course, the smile on his face gave him away.

"Okay, seriously though. We can make this at home," The younger whipped around, the skin
between his brows creased.

"Make it at home? God, Gguk, this is a famous wall," Taehyung snorted softly, pinching the
younger's ear, who was also quick to swat him away, his nose scrunched all cutely together.

God, he couldn't get used to this. Jeongguk was actually his lover, his boyfriend, if you put it
in official terms. It made him giddy to think about, knowing that he was going to come home
to him since the younger was going to take a year off to go and finish college back in Korea.
After four long years, he was home again. He was right where he belonged after jumping
from place to place, and god, he would never make this mistake again. Of course, he knew
better. Just because they were happy now, doesn't mean they would be happy forever.

But now, he was prepared. Even though it scared him, he wasn't going to run anymore. He
loved Jeongguk; they promised to jump the gap together. There was no way he was going to
let him go ever again.

"Alright, I brought you here because I know we're gonna be busy. You're gonna finish your
last year you missed college to become a teacher, and I'm gonna continue my education to
become a couples' therapist," he said, gesturing at the two of them.

"A couples' therapist? That's what you're gonna do?" Jeongguk raised an eyebrow at him.
Taehyung nodded, boxy smile on his lips.

"What? It's a good idea. I wanna help couples work through their stuff so they wouldn't go
through the same thing we did," Taehyung said nonchalantly. "Nobody deserves to go
through that."

"Anyways, that's not the point. We'll be busy."

"Yes, we'll be busy," Jeongguk murmured softly, staring over at the older with that familiar
twinkle in his eyes, the stars Taehyung knew he would never get tired of.

"So, I'm here to tell you that Wall of Love over there doesn't contain the definition of how
much you mean to me," Taehyung gestured between them.

"Jeon Jeongguk, I love you. I've always been in love with you," The older whispered,
cupping the younger's cheek, his other arm winding around his waist to bring his body closer.

"We're gonna have the best life, you and me. We're gonna be so happy, and we'll grow old
together and I'll even have kids with you if that's what you want," He giggled, pressing his
nose against Jeongguk's, eyes squeezed shut as the younger's palm settled over his necl.

"You, and I. Specs and Ugly Dick Jk," At that, the two of them snorted, staring down at their
matching bracelets, "We're supposed to end up together. We're meant to be. I love you."

"I love you too," Jeongguk said, staring at the older fondly, the smile he wore stretching wide
over his lips, bunny-teeth exposed. "I'll love you as long as you let me."

"Yeah, and that's why I was going to ask you this," Taehyung pulled away. The younger's
brows knitted together, confusion sprawled over his face until he realized he was getting
down on one knee.

"Um, d-don't you think this is going too fast?" Jeongguk gulped, eyes widened as he pointed
between the two's position, his cheeks a bright shade of pink.

"M'not gonna propose. I have all the time to do that," Taehyung laughed, tilting his head back
to get a better look of his beautiful boyfriend, who was mildly panicking.
"I was gonna ask you this," He grabbed his hand, bringing his fingers close to his lips, gently
giving them a kiss, unable to hide the smile blossoming over his mouth.

"Jeon Jeongguk."

"Kim Taehyung."

"Can I take you on a real first date?" The younger froze, not saying anything for a second, a
moment, and fuck, the smile slowly began to falter on Taehyung's lips. Maybe he shouldn't
have gotten down on—

Jeongguk tugged him up, yanking the older forward until their lips collided half-way. His
eyes shot open, not expecting the younger to be cupping his face, kissing him sweetly, his lips
moving gently against his. Oh well, he wasn't complaining, and soon, he kissed him back,
hands finding his waist and fitting their hips together.

"Hi there," Taehyung murmured, eyes opening to see the younger smiling at him, his thumb
running up and down his jaw. "So is that a yes?" He asked, smirking.

"Yes," Jeongguk nodded, pulling the older back to him, his lips hovering above his so he
could still see the beautiful smile and the stars dancing in his pretty doe eyes.

"Yes, I'll go on a real date with you."

THE END of HTT

Chapter End Notes

we finally reached it.

i first want to say thank you to all of you guys who stuck around and saw the end to
these two shitheads. htt was originally an accident. but htt has also brought a lot of new
milestones and i was able to meet so many lovely people from this book on its time in
wattpad. no future book i will write can beat how htt impacted me. and i'd also like to
thank my friends, fairykoo & @areumgn for helping me in this process! other than that,
thank you everyone again for every vote & comment. i loved reading all the comments
and seeing you guys happy!
Please drop by the Archive and comment to let the creator know if you enjoyed their work!