First Day of School

The Morning Meeting

So, here’s a story you’re probably not gonna’ believe, but it’s true. I promise you! At least I remember
it happening…

It was a long time ago, when I was teaching in a school that was a bit strange, and a bit peculiar (but
not nearly as peculiar and strange as the school you’re in right now!).

As I remember, it was the first day of school and everything seemed perfectly normal.
The problem is that it really wasn’t. As a matter of fact I could have never imagined what
was going to happen on this particular first day of school…

You see, all my new students showed up on time at 8:30 and I had them sit on the
carpet to welcome them. After I introduced myself and went over some basic
information about fourth grade, I had each of them introduce themself by telling us their name, one
favorite thing they liked to eat, and one favorite thing they liked to do.

As we went around the classroom, I heard typical things. For example, Jenna said, “My
name is Jenna, I like to eat pizza, and I like to play basketball.”

Then a boy named Jake said, “My name is Jake, and I love sushi, and I like playing
video games.”
Yes, everyone was pretty typical until we came to a boy who was new to the school. He said,
“My name is SchmipMorp, I like to eat fungus salad and butterfly soup, and my favorite
thing to do is lick car tires.”
“Oh, I didn’t know car tires tasted good,” I said, trying to go along with his joke.
“Oh they do, especially racing tires,” said ShmipMorp in a very serious voice.
“Licking tires, and eating fungus salad and butterfly soup sounds a little weird,” said a girl
named Jackie.
“Oh, It’s delicious. Especially the red fungi, and the Goodyear tires on Jeeps.
“Now that’s even weirder,” continued Jackie.
“Everyone,” I said, “Let’s not judge a person because they do some things that you don’t. We’re here
to celebrate and learn from our differences, not judge or criticize them.”
“But licking tires, and eating fungus salad and butterfly soup? Are you sure you’re not an alien or
something,” blurted out a boy named Joe.
“Joe,” I said, “Please don’t make any more comments. ShmipMorp deserves the same respect that
you got when you shared facts about yourself.”
“It’s OK,” said ShmipMorp, “I’m not an alien. I’m pretty sure I was born in a hospital right here on
Earth.”
“Pretty sure?” asked a girl named Sarah.
“Yup,” said SchmipMorp, “I can’t remember being born, but my mom told me it was in a hospital.”

I noticed the other students rolling their eyes, and because he was new to the school, I was already a
little concerned ShmipMorp would have trouble fitting in with the other students.

If the students rolled their eyes 245 times, and then another 247 times, how many times had
they rolled their eyes?

ShmipMorp's Poster
“OK, OK, everyone, let’s move on,” I said, “there’s still more of us who have to introduce ourselves.”
Finally, after all the students introduced themselves, I assigned them to their
desk spots where they all sat quietly.
Now, on the first day of school, I always let my students design a poster with
their name on it to hang on the wall of the classroom, so I handed out
markers and paper and let them get to work.
 As I walked around the room learning their names and seeing their artwork, I
noticed something strange. ShmipMorp was not making his poster on the
paper I’d given them. He was drawing it on his face.

The other students were looking at him as if he was some kind of crazy space
alien.
“ShmipMorp, what are you doing?” I asked.
“Making my poster,”
“What happened to working on the paper I gave you?”
“I ate it.”
“You ate the paper?”
“Yeah, it was delicious.”
“Do you always eat paper?”
“No, only if it’s eleven inches wide. Skinnier paper sizes don’t taste quite as good.”
“Well, ShmipMorp, I need to hang the posters up on the wall, so I don’t think I could hang yours up
when it’s on your face, unless I hang you up on the wall. Do you think you can do one on the paper?”
“Yeah, I guess I can try.”

I gave ShmipMorp another sheet of paper, but a few minutes later, I saw something
strange.
Again, ShmipMorp was not making his poster on the paper I’d given him. He was
drawing it on his face.
The other students were looking at him as if he was now some totally crazy alien from
space.
“ShmipMorp, what are you doing this time?”
“Making my poster,”
“I gave you another sheet of paper, didn’t I?”
“Yes,”
“What happened to it?”
“I ate it.”
“You ate the paper again?”
“Yeah, I simply couldn’t help myself, I was still hungry.”
“ShmipMorp, I don’t want to have to repeat myself again. This is fourth grade. You cannot color the
poster on your face. I’m gonna’ give you one more sheet of paper, and if you eat it I’ll have to send
you to Principal Grapefruit’s office. Do you understand me?”
“Does Principal Grapefruit have eleven inch paper in his office?”
“ShmipMorp,” I said, “please just make your name poster.
”Ok, Mr. R.”

If SchmipMorp ate 36 sheets of paper, and I had 127 left, how many sheets had I started with?

ShmipMorp's Beads
Later that morning, we had a meeting and the students decided on official class colors.
I thought it would be cool if we all made matching bead bracelets that showed the
colors and let everyone know we were all together as a big family in class 4D.

I handed out beads and string for everyone to make the bracelets. The students
had come up with a pattern that was 2 blue beads, 3 yellow beads and then 1
lavender and 1 red bead, before it repeated again.
The students were having fun making the bracelets and getting to know each other,
and I was walking around the room looking at their handiwork.
When I got to ShmipMorp’s desk, I looked at his bracelet and noticed that it had no lavender or red
beads.
“ShmipMorp, what happened to your lavender and red beads? That’s the pattern we decided would
be the official pattern for class 4D.”
ShmipMorp pointed to his nose.
“What’s wrong with your nose?”
He said, “Beads.”
“What are you trying to tell me? What happened to your lavender and red beads?”
“Nose,” he said.
“Nose?” I asked, confused.
“Nose,” he said again.
Then it hit me and I yelled,
“The lavender and red beads are in your nose!”
All the other students stopped working and looked at ShmipMorp.
“Yes, in my nostrils,” he said.
“Why did you put the beads in your nose!” I yelled imagining the worst possible outcome at the
nurse’s office.
“Lavender beads go in left nostril, for L, and red beads to in right nostril, for R,” said ShmipMorp
matter of factly.
Beads shouldn’t go in any nostril!” I screamed. I don’t care what letters they start with. You have to
get them out right now!”
“How? I can’t reach them anymore,” said ShmipMorp.
“I told you he’s an alien,” a girl named Suzie whispered to her neighbor.
Other students seemed concerned. “How are you going to get beads out of his nostrils?” asked Joe.
“I’m not sure,” I said.
“Hey, I saw some pliers in the science area,” said a kid named Carlos, “we could use those.”

“No, we’re not sticking pliers up anyone’s nose this year. That got us into trouble the
last two years. ShmipMorp, are you sure you can’t get the beads out?” I asked.
“I’m pretty sure,” he said, seeming a little depressed.
“I have an idea,” said a girl named Josie.
“What’s your idea?” I asked.
“Well, my mom gave me some pepper for my macaroni and cheese, and maybe if he
sniffs it, he’ll sneeze out the beads.”
“You put pepper on your macaroni and cheese,” yelled a boy named Carl, “Gross!
What are you some kind of alien?”
“Be quiet Carl,” said Josie who had been with Carl every year since Kindergarten.
“Well, I guess that’s an idea,” I said. Better than ShmipMorp having to go to the nurse on his first day
at our school.”
Josie prepared the packet of pepper by placing it precariously in the proximity of ShmipMorp’s nose.
Nothing happened.
“Breathe deeper,” said Josie.
Again, nothing happened. We all waited two more minutes, and ShmipMorp hadn’t sneezed at all.
Josie lost her patience, ripped the little pepper package open and poured it precisely on the perimeter
of ShmipMorp’s nostrils.
Suddenly his eyes began watering, and his cheeks got red, and then he said, “aaa….aaaah……
aaaahhh…”
But then quiet filled the room.
“Aw come on and sneeze already!” yelled Jake.
Suddenly ShmipMOrp said, “Aaa….aaaah…aaaahhhh,” again, and then he said,
“CHEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

We all saw the lavender and red beads fly across the room and bounce off the
smartboard.
A few kids cheered, while a few kids screamed, “That’s so gross!”
“Finally,” I said, “Now ShmipMorp, go get your beads and finish your bracelet.”
ShmipMorp retrieved his beads off the floor, and all the students went back to work on their bracelets
until it was lunchtime.

I had a bag with 124 red beads, 234 lavender beads, 87 yellow beads, and 345 blue beads, how
many beads did I have in all?

ShmipMorp's Lunch
Now, at the time, the lunchroom at our school was under construction. The walls still needed to be
painted, so for the first week of school that year, the students had to eat their lunches in class.
Everyone got out their bag lunch and sat at their desk spots.
As I watched the students, I saw them take out the usual things for lunch. Among other
things, I saw chicken nuggets, pizza, sandwiches, pasta, and tacos.
“What’s that?” I heard Sarah scream as she looked at ShmipMorp.
“That’s my lunch, what’s wrong?”
“What the heck is it?”
 “Fungus salad,” he said, “and it’s delicious.”
“Fungus! Disgusting! It’s slimy and green!” cried Sarah.
“Yes, it is. It’s fungus and seaweed, wanna try some?”
“No! I don’t eat fungus!” assured Sarah.
“Are you certain?” asked ShmipMorp.
“Yes, I’m certain,” said Sarah.
“You never had mushrooms?” asked ShmipMorp.
“I don’t like mushrooms,” said Sarah.
“You never had bread, or cake, or a donut, or pizza?” asked ShmipMorp.
“Yes, what does that have to do with fungus?”
“Well, all of those have yeast which is a fungus.” he said.
Sarah looked skeptical.
I told her it was true.
“Well, that’s normal fungus,” she said, “not that crazy looking stuff you’re eating!”
ShmipMorp shrugged and continued to eat his fungus salad, “This is normal to me.”
“Then you must be an alien,” said Sarah under her breath.
“Sarah,” I said, “we don’t talk about other people’s food, or other people like that in my
classroom. Please consider how that might make ShmipMorp feel.”
Sarah felt bad for what she’d said, “I’m sorry, ShmipMorp. It’s just that I’m not used to that
kind of food. It looks like it’s from another planet.”
“That’s OK, a lot of people think I’m an alien, but I was born right here in a hospital on Earth. At least
that’s what my mother told me.”
The rest of the day was particularly normal. That is until dismissal time arrived.

If my students started the day with 226 different desserts and they’d eaten 49 of them, how
many were left?

Dismissal
It was 3PM and I took the kids out to the recess yard for them to get picked up by their
caregivers. We were all waiting when we heard a strange sound in the sky. I looked up and
couldn’t believe my eyes. I saw a strange saucer shaped spaceship coming straight towards us.
“What the heck is that?” I said.
“Cool, it’s a UFO!” yelled ShmipMorp as the other students just stared.
“Come on everyone,” I yelled, “we have to get back inside the school where it’s safe!”
ShmipMorp was staring at the ship but began to slowly follow me back to school.
All my other students just stood and stared at the UFO as if they were hypnotized.
“Come on everyone! Back inside to the classroom, it might be dangerous!” I yelled.
The UFO landed right in the recess yard in front of us.
“Come on 4D students, back. inside. now!!”
But all my students, except for SchmipMorp began walking towards the ship instead of away
from it. When they got right in front of it, a door opened, and a ramp slid down.

“Don’t you dare go on that ship!” I yelled, “you don’t know where it might take you!”
But they seemed to be under its power and kept walking towards it.
When the ramp was completely down, I saw some older people descending. When they got to the
ground, they started hugging my students and talking to them as if this was the most normal thing
ever.

“Jake, how was your first day of school on Earth,” said one man to Jake.
“It was fine, Dad,” responded Jake.
“Jenna, did you enjoy your teacher, Mr. R. I heard he’s funny.”
“Yeah, Mom, he’s kinda’ funny,” said Jenna.
“Jackie, was your lunch good? I hope it stayed fresh on the trip to school today. It was only 7 billion miles, so it
should have been fine,” said a woman to Jackie.
All the students hugged their parents (which I couldn’t believe were on a spaceship), and walked up the ramp.
At the top of the ramp, they turned around and waved to me and ShmipMorp as we were standing in the
recess yard in disbelief.
They yelled, “We have to go home to our planet now, but we’ll be back for school tomorrow. Have a good
night!”
ShmipMorp and I waved goodbye, and the flying saucer took off into the sky.
ShmipMorp looked at me and shrugged,
“That was a fun first day of school, but I can’t believe my classmates are all aliens.”
 The End

The Wishing Machine

A Meteor in the Classroom

So here’s a story you’re probably not gonna’ believe, but it’s true. I promise you! At
least I remember it happening…

It was a long time ago, when I was teaching in a school that was a bit strange, and a bit peculiar (but
not nearly as peculiar and strange as the school you’re in right now!)

As I remember, it was a cold, dark morning, and I came into my classroom like I always did.
Everything was perfectly normal and there was no way I could’ve imagined what was going to happen
to me and my students that very strange day.

We were just beginning our morning meeting when Joe screamed, “What’s that!”
“What’s what?” asked Zander.
“What’s that strange sound!” said Joe.
We all got really quiet to listen for the sound Joe was talking about. Then we all heard it.

“It sounds like an airplane!” yelled Jenna.

“More like a helicopter!” yelled Matthew.
“More like a meteor!” yelled Jake.
“It also looks like a meteor!” yelled Regina who was pointing out of the classroom window.
We looked and saw something flying through the sky right towards the classroom!

“I don’t want to be crushed by a meteor!” yelled Matthew.

“I don’t want to be crushed at all!” yelled Carlos.
“Run for it! Get out of the room!” I yelled, but we quickly found out meteors are fast.
Before we could even make it out of our chairs, the meteor crashed through the window! Luckily
the meteor was so hot, the glass melted and dripped down to the floor so none of us got hurt.
We were also lucky the meteor flew through our classroom and landed right in the sink where I’d put
some ice cubes for a lesson on thermometers and temperature.
The ice cubes melted, and then turned to water vapor, and we were left with a cooler meteor in the
classroom sink.
“Wow, that was close!” yelled Jake.
“Yeah, that meteor was screaming hot!” yelled Jenna.

Solve the math riddle below to find out the temperature of the meteor.

The temperature of the meteor (in degrees) was an even number

The number rounds to 470 .
The three digits of the number add to 18
What was the number?
Something Strange on the Carpet
“Stand back,” I told everyone, “We should probably leave the classroom and report this to Principal
Grapefruit.”
Matthew didn’t listen and yelled, “This is so cool!” as he ran towards the sink.

“Stop Matthew, Stop!” we all yelled, but like he often did, he

ignored us.
“Matthew! Stop!” I yelled more loudly, but it was as if he didn’t even hear me.
When he got to the sink he took a close look at the meteor, and after a second he turned around and
said, “None of you are gonna’ believe this!”
“Believe what?” asked Jake, “We already know there’s a meteor in our sink.”
“It’s not a meteor,” said Matthew.
“What do you mean it’s not a meteor,” asked Jenna, “We saw it fly down from the sky.”

“But it’s not a meteor,” said Matthew, “Come look at it.”

I reminded the students not to approach and I told Matthew to leave the sink area.
“I’ll take a look at whatever it is,” I said as I walked over and looked at the object in the sink.
“What is it, Mr. R.?” asked Carlos.

I was still staring at the object. It appeared to be some sort of box that had
writing on its side.
“I have no idea,” I said.
“Can we look?” they asked.
“Maybe after music with Ms. Arpeggio,” I said, “We’ll figure things out when you get back.”

I dropped the students at the music room, and went straight to a meeting I had with the other
teachers. I left the box sitting in the sink.
An hour later, I picked up the students at music and we came back to the classroom. When I opened
the door, something was strange.
“What’s that thing on the carpet?” asked Matthew.
We looked at the carpet and we saw an orange machine with a red orb on top of it.
“I have no idea,” I said.
Suddenly, we heard a voice come from the machine. It said, “If you can figure out this math riddle,
you will learn the use of this machine,” then a math riddle popped up on a screen on the side of the
machine. It said this:

Find the Number:

I am a 2-digit EVEN number
I am divisible by 4, and 3.
The product of my 2 digits is 14
The difference between my 2 digits is 5.
What number am I?

Page 3: A Wishing Machine

Zander entered the correct answer on the machine’s screen, and some words
appeared on its outside.
“Look, it says, washing machine on it,” yelled Jackie.

“No, read carefully,” I said, “It says, wishing machine.”

“What’s a wishing machine?” asked Joe.
“I wish I knew,” said Matthew and then he kept talking, “Actually, I do know. A wishing machine is a
machine that was sent by beings who live on a planet in another solar system. If someone squeezes
the red orb on the top of the machine, a math riddle will appear on its screen. If the person figures out
the math riddle, they will have whatever they wish for come true.”
“How did you know all of that?” asked Carlos.
“I don’t know, it just popped into my head when I said I wish I knew what a wishing machine was.”
“Cool, we have a wishing machine!” yelled Jake.
“Yeah, all we have to do is figure out some math riddles,” said Regina.
“Can we try it Mr. R.?” asked Jenna.
“I guess we can see what it does,” I said as I wondered what a wishing machine really did do. “Who
wants to try first?”
“I’ll try,” said Carlos as he raised his hand.
Carlos went to the machine and squeezed the red orb.
A math riddle for Carlos flashed onto the screen.
If there are 6 of me, you have 4 less than 40? What number am I?

Carlos thought about it for a while, and finally he figured it out. What number did he have to type into
the machine?

A Broken Wishing Machine

After Carlos typed in the correct answer, the machine started beeping as if it was cheering. The
Words MAKE A WISH popped up on the screen. We all screamed at Carlos to make a wish.

“I wish that all the chocolate in the world would fly into the recess yard!”
A puff of purple smoke came out of the machine and we stood around the classroom waiting to see if
anything would happen. Just when it seemed as if nothing would, the lights flickered, and then they
went off completely. It was pitch black in the classroom.
“Hey, I can’t see anything!” yelled Joe.
“I’m scared of the dark!” yelled Jenna.
“Me too!” yelled Zander.
Then suddenly there was an explosion of light, and when we opened our eyes, we all went to the
window to see if there was chocolate in the recess yard.
We didn’t see any chocolate, but we saw three of the kindergartener’s lunch boxes pop open, and
the chocolate bars that were inside of them fly into the sky.

“Hey, the chocolate’s leaving the recess yard, not coming to it!” yelled Carlos.
“Yeah, this wishing machine is broken!” complained Zander.
“Yeah, it’s working in reverse,” said Jake.
‘Maybe we should try a different wish,” I said, “Who wants to try next?”
Jackie raised her hand. I called on her, and she went over and squeezed the red orb. A math riddle
popped up on the screen.
It said:

I am a 2-digit number between 60 and 80

My tens digit is 2 more than my one’s digit
I am not 64
What Number am I?

Recess All Day?

After Jackie typed in the correct answer, the machine started beeping as if it was cheering. The
Words MAKE A WISH popped up on the screen of the machine. We all screamed at Jackie to make
a wish.
Jackie thought for a minute and said, “I wish the schedule said it was recess all day!”
A puff of purple smoke came out of the machine and we stood around the classroom waiting to see if
anything would happen, and just when it seemed as if nothing would, the lights flickered, and then
they went off completely. It was pitch black in the classroom.
“Hey, I can’t see anything!” yelled Joe.
“I’m scared of the dark!” yelled Jenna.
“Me too!” yelled Zander.

Then suddenly there was an explosion of light, and when we opened

our eyes, we saw that instead of RECESS, the schedule said HISTORY at recess time.

“I told you this wishing machine is broken!” yelled Matthew, “It’s more like the anti-wishing machine.
It’s doing everything backwards!
“Yeah, and now we have NO recess today!” complained Jackie.
“I have an idea,” said Jake.
“What’s your idea?” I asked.
“What if we wish for the opposite of what we want to happen, then maybe what we actually want to
happen will happen!”
“That’s a good idea!” yelled Carlos.
“OK,” I shrugged, “I guess we can give it a shot.”
Jake walked over to the machine and put his hand on the red orb. A math riddle appeared on the
screen. It said:
What number comes next in the pattern?
5, 11, 23, 47, ___

Page 6: Wishing in Reverse

After Jake typed in the correct answer, the machine started beeping as if it was cheering. The
words MAKE A WISH popped up on the screen of the machine. We all screamed at Jake to make a
wish.
Jake had to think for a minute to make his wish in reverse.
“I wish there would be no ice cream in our classroom today,” he said, “and I wish we would never
have recess again!”

“Hey,” said Matthew, “I love ice cream and recess.”

“Don’t you get it, said Regina, “He’s just wishing for the opposite stuff.”
 A puff of purple smoke came out of the machine and we stood around the
classroom waiting to see if anything would happen, and just when it seemed as if nothing would, the
lights flickered, and then they went off completely. It was pitch black in the classroom.
“Hey, I can’t see anything!” yelled Joe.
“I’m scared of the dark!” yelled Jenna.
“Me too!” yelled Zander.
Then suddenly there was an explosion of light, and when we opened our eyes, we saw the classroom
had changed. The walls no longer had the students’ work or a smartboard, they were now lined with

ice cream machines. Above each machine were little tags that said what flavor was in the
machine. We also saw that each desk had containers of different toppings. The pencil sharpener had
turned into a whipped cream dispenser, and the staplers all squirted out hot fudge instead of staples.
“This is the greatest thing ever!” yelled Carlos.
“Yes, it is!” they all yelled before they asked if they could make an ice cream cone for themselves.
I said “OK,” and the students all made ice cream cones and covered them with enough toppings to
last for an entire week!
But just as the students were about to eat the ice cream, an alarm came from the machine, and some
words popped up on the screen.

Not until you solve this math riddle can you eat ice cream!

The students tried to eat the ice cream anyway, but they couldn’t move their hands to their mouths!
Somehow the machine was preventing them from eating.
“We have to solve that math riddle fast!” yelled Zander.
Jackie said, “I’ll do it, and she went over to the machine to read the riddle. It said this.

I am a number that is between 1-100.

I am an odd number.
If you double me, you get the same number as 3 times 38.
The digit in my ones place is 2 greater than the digits in my tens place.
What number am I?