Stewart 1 Josh Stewart Victoria Reynolds English Composition I, Section 056 April 30, 2012October 31, 2011 Sibling

Rivalry in Life on the Color Line In the book Siblings Without Rivalry, Adele Faber writes the following: Take two kids in competition for their parents' love and attention. Add to that the envy that one child feels for the accomplishments of the other; the resentment that each child feels for the privileges of the other; the personal frustrations that they don't dare let out on anyone else but a brother or sister, and it's not hard to understand why in families across the land, the sibling relationship contains enough emotional dynamite to set off rounds of daily explosions. This quote, taken from Siblings Without Rivalry by Adele Faber, yada yada yada quip to transition into thesis and forecast. Sibling rivalry is a given in any family with multiple children. The second child takes away from the attention the firstborn had. This starts jealousy begins early on, inevitably leading which later leads to competition. Then the younger child resists being bossed around by the resentful older sibling. In the article Sibling Rivalry, Patricia T. Castiglia writes about why such competition occurs, the effects of it, and the role of parents intervening in her aptly titled article Sibling Rivalry. This is exemplified in the book Life on the Color Line by Gregory H. Williams, in which the author tells the story of hehimself and his brother, growing up in both black and white communities. Even though both He he and his little brother Mike went through a lot togethershared many experiences together, but in the end, they turned out to be two very
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Stewart 2 different people. This separation ofunexpected dichotomy of character is perhaps could be a product of the rivalry between Greg and Mike. I have seen similar Similar separation is evident among between my own brother, sister, and I. Castiglias article is supported by the life experiences of Williams and his little brother, as well as my own experiences with my siblings. In the article, Castiglia begins by describing a situation of two siblings fighting. They become angry at each other, and the parent is forced to step in to resolve the conflict. The author She then describes why such conflict occurs. When: when a new child is introduced into a family, the older child loses the attention it once hadhe or she once enjoyed. In returnAs a result, the older child tends to take charge over the younger child. It is aThis naturally asserted dominance is theorized to either be a type of revenge for what the older sibling lost to theon the younger onesibling, but in can also be a or the older childs way of taking care of the younger sibling. In Life on the Color Line, Williams describes how he felt responsible for his little brother Mike. This was especially seen is most noticeable in Chapter 19, in which is focused on Greg trying to be guardian angel to Mike, who had become becomes involved in the transporting of drugs. Greg tried to guard Mike by warned warning himMike of the inherent dangers involved and tried various tactics He even tried banning Mike from doing itany further activity. However, although Mike listened, Gregs efforts were eventually in vain. Mike resisted Gregs advice and chose to go his own way, showing demonstrating the effect of the sibling rivalry between the two. [My sister, who is about two years older than me, always showed similar dominance over me. However, I rebelled from the beginning] [AWK]. When I was nine years old, my younger brother was born. when I was nine years old, both Both my sister and I took a position of authority naturally and have held it ever since. The article continues on to say show that, as
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Stewart 3 the older sibling ages, he or she will begin to drift away and become engaged in other activities. This is especially true if the age gap is higherlarger, such as with my little brother. My sister would occasionally play with my brother, but by the time I was eighteen my interests did not overlap with my brothers at all. We spent less and less time together. I also went a separate way from my sister. I did well in academics and sports, and went in a different direction religiously and socially. I also rebelled from my parents in areas my sister had not. In the book[TITLE], Greg excelled in school as well as basketball and football. Mike was not as talented, and became involved in drinking, gambling, and sex, much like his father. Mike felt the need to be different from his brother, which consistent withis supported by the article, which says that such rivalry results in jealousy, guilt, rejection, isolations, resentment, and/or general anxiety (Castiglia PAGE #). Mike rejected Gregs path and chose his own. Eventually, as Gregs life became better and better, Mikes life seemed to steadily decline. He got in trouble at school, joined the navy only to leave soon after, and eventually married an older woman who was a professional shoplifter. Greg mentioned he often later felt guilty about how this happened. HoweverEven so, the effects of sibling rivalry are not all negative. Oftentimes The the older child often becomes more mature as far as speakingeloquent, independenceindependent, and interaction more comfortable with newborns. This superior maturity was not exemplified in my family, however butit was in the case of Greg and Mike. This social maturity helped promote Gregs excellence in reading and in school. His success in academics can also be attributed to his father. The article statesCastiglia claims that parents can promote better relationships between siblings by making the older child feel involved as well as pointing out that the newborn will not be a playmate, at least not at first. Castiglia pointsshe further argues out that fathers tend to be more attentive to the older child, while mothers

Stewart 4 typically focus on the newborn. This is especially true in the case of Gregs support by his father. Greg was told that he could be anything, and his father also pushed him to become a lawyer. His father always expected more of him than of Mike, who did not have as strong of a will to succeed. Their father conveyed totold Mike that he was a screw-up just like him. This point is also supported by the fact that Mike was much more distraught about his mother leaving them than Greg was. The lack of attention he had previously received from his mother was now gone, and his fathers attention was still focused on Greg. As a result, Gregs superior motivation and talent were spurred on, leaving Mike in the dust. In spite of any best efforts, sibling rivalry will still inevitably occur. However, it might may not always be appropriate for the parent to intervene, because as this denies the children the experience of learning to resolve conflicts on their own. Protecting children from everything will not give them the proper exposure to such situations, and will damage social maturation. My sister and I always clashed as children. A parent was not always around, and I agree that the lack of intervention led to us either compromising or walking away from the argument. When my brother and I used to play together, he would often get hurt and it would always be blamed on me when he cried to our mother. This was eventually what caused us to stop playing together. Although the instances of Williams describing he and his brother fighting are rare, it is mentioned that when he and Mike fought on the bus on the way to their new home in Muncie, their father intervened to disrupt the physical aggression. While this stepping in by a parent stops the physical conflict, as the article mentioned, a study showed that a mothers involvement led to longer and physical conflict. However, the children, as a result of the parents leadership and example, picked up somelearned tactics used to solve conflicts by experience. It is best to offer intervention only when necessary. At the end of the article Castiglia points out notes that sibling

Stewart 5 rivalry varies per child and family. There are many factors that affect a child. My family moved from Michigan to Ohio when I was nine, and for those first few years after moving we moved we were closer than ever. [One factor, which was a major contributor to the tension between Mike and Greg, was the fact that they were mixed but appeared white.][should have been a major theme, not a side note] As a result[you use this phrase a lot; I added mine before I saw the number of times you used it-problem?], they lived in both black and white communities, or on the color line, as Williams phrased it. This added to the regular sibling conflict. This is because as a result of not truly fitting into to either black or white communities initially, the brothers spent more time together and had to depend on each other. Although this created some bonding between the brothers, it also increased the chances of conflict and created a mutual tension for Greg and Mike.[scant analysis poop] This tension added to the rivalry which sent them down separate paths, just like I differed from my sister. The article talks about the fathers support of the older child. This is seen in how Greg was encouraged by his father and excelled in many areas. However, Mike had less support from his father and none from his mother, who according to Castiglia would have given him more attention. The rivalrys effects are seen in how Mike steered his life in a completely different direction that Greg did, and rejected Gregs advice. The article is also supported by how my sister and I clashed and then eventually went our own ways. The effects of sibling rivalry, as described in the article, are clearly supported by my own life as well as the life experiences of Greg and Mike in Life on the Color Line.
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Works Cited Castiglia, P T. Sibling rivalry. Journal of pediatric health care 3.1 01 Jan 1989: 52-54. Elsevier. 19 Oct 2011. "Take_two_kids_in_competition_for_their_parents." Columbia World of Quotations. Columbia University Press, 1996. 19 Oct. 2011. <http://quotes.dictionary.com/ Take_two_kids_in_competition_for_their_parents>. Williams, Gregory H. Life on the Color Line: The True Story of a White Boy Who Discovered He Was Black. New York, NY: Penguin Books, 1996. Print.