The Boys at Work

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/44843530.

Rating: Explicit
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: F/M
Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Relationships: Eren Yeager/Reader, Jean Kirstein/Reader, Minor or Background
Relationship(s), Minor Jean Kirstein/Pieck Finger - Relationship
Characters: Reader, Eren Yeager, Jean Kirstein, Minor Characters
Additional Tags: Smut, Alternate Universe - Office, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Oral
Sex, Dubious Consent, Multiple Orgasms, Multiple Partners, Multiple
Sex Positions, Come Swallowing, Blow Jobs, Comeplay, Creampie,
Explicit Sexual Content, Explicit Language, Porn With Plot, Friends
With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Mental Health Issues, POV Second
Person, No use of y/n, Love Triangles, Pining, Slow Burn, Panic Attacks,
It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy,
Emotional Infidelity
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2023-02-14 Completed: 2023-10-31 Words: 303,187
Chapters: 38/38
 The Boys at Work
by spiteless

Summary

“I still think this is a stupid fucking plan,” Eren says, “I think you’re better off moving on to
someone else than trying to get Jean fucking Kirstein to fall in love with you.”

“Like who?” you ask, raising an eyebrow in amusement. “Someone like you?”

“At least I’m not an asshole,” he scoffs. “And I fuck you good. You’d be better off with me
than with him.”

“I thought you didn’t do relationships.”

“I don’t,” Eren looks over at you with pursed lips. “I’d break your heart.”

“Hmm, tempting, but I think I’ll stick with Jean.”

“He’ll break it too,” he says. “Maybe even worse than me.”

---
You're in love with your best friend, but he's still hung on up his ex-girlfriend, so you start
sleeping with his former best friend to make him jealous. The four of you work together at
one of the city's most prestigious professional services companies and you're struggling so
much with the workload that you're worried you might get fired.
Can you successfully juggle all these relationships and your career, or will you burn out and
lose it all?
---
COMPLETED

Notes

Hello and welcome! This is technically a sequel to my other fic The Boys at School, but it can
be read as a standalone story as well. You might miss out on some little easter eggs or
references, but it won't negatively impact your experience.

For those coming from The Boys 1, the Reader in this story is not the Reader from the
previous story, but all of the other characters are the same.

I'm aiming to stick to my weekly update schedule, but I'll let you know if life gets in the way
and I have to delay an update.
CW: Alcohol, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content (Dirty Talk, Vaginal Fingering,
Protected Sex, Multiple Orgasms)
 Operation: Make Jean Jealous (e)

“Cheers to our careers!”

You raise your glass with your friends and smash your drinks together, beer spilling over
your hands and the table before you all bring the mugs up to your mouths to drink. You and
your friends are finally about to start your new, adult careers tomorrow.

No more shitty part-time jobs.

No more studying for exams.

And no more living in the dorms!

With your new career income (albeit still low), you and your three best friends can rent a
house together in the suburbs. It’s a 45-minute commute from home to work, but it’s
affordable and with your favourite people in the world. How could you ask for anything
more?

“I can’t believe that in two sleeps we’re going to be actual adults,” Sasha squeals, practically
vibrating from excitement.

“We’re going to eat like kings! No more ninety-nine-cent ramen noodle bowls,” Connie says,
elbowing Sasha enthusiastically.

Jean slings a casual arm around your shoulder and pulls you close against his chest as he
clinks his glass with yours again. “And the two of us are going to tear up the accounting
world. Right?” he says, smiling.

You try to pretend the blush crawling up your chest is from the alcohol, but when Jean’s
fingers brush the bare skin on your arm you have to bite back your grin.

Ok, so not only are you going to be living and working with your best friend, but you are also
totally in love with him.

The two of you have been friends for a few years now, and even though you and Jean have
had a flirty banter since the two of you first met, nothing has ever come of it aside from a few
lingering touches.

You’ve never actually told Jean that you have feelings for him because you can’t tell if he’s
being flirty just for the sake of being flirty or if he actually has feelings for you, too. Rather
than risk rejection and your whole friend group, living situation, and workplace exploding,
you’ve decided to keep your crush a secret until it’s obvious that Jean feels the same way
about you.

Despite your reservations, the way that Jean’s lips ghost against your ear as he leans into your
neck sends shivers down your spine, “Do you think we’ll get to sit together?” he asks.
“I hope so,” you say. You avoid the urge to turn towards him, knowing that your faces will be
only inches apart. “Do you think anyone else from Paradis University got hired there?”

“Hard to say,” he sighs, pulling away and allowing you a moment to calm your heartbeat. “I
didn’t see anyone I recognized when I went in for my interview.”

You nod, “Same here, just strangers.”

“Even if it’s just us, it should still be fun. I can’t wait for all the late nights at the office with
you,” he says with a wink.

The DJ seamlessly transitions from one pop song to another that has Sasha and Connie
jumping out of their seats. “Guys, we have to go dance!” Connie yells, grabbing at your and
Jean’s hands to pull you from the booth.

“This is our song!” Sasha cheers, already charging straight into the throng of people. With a
laugh, you and Jean climb out of the booth to join your friends on the dance floor.

You and Sasha lose yourself to the music, shaking your hips and throwing your arms in the
air to the beat of your favourite song. Connie and Jean fist bump to the music next to you, as
boys do.

While you’re dancing with Sasha, you watch a random girl come up to Jean on the dance
floor. She curls two fingers near her face, beckoning him to lean in close, and he does. She
whispers something into his ear, presumably asking to dance because Jean smiles and nods
before grabbing her hips.

Your vision turns green as you watch Jean and the girl dance together, moving away from
your little group into the thicket of people. She has her body pressed up against his, arms
wrapped around his neck, while Jean holds her by the waist.

You’re not the only girl that thinks Jean is hot — of course not. You notice the way women
will sit up a little taller when they see him, the way they play with their hair, the way their
eyes trail his body. It’s not unusual for Jean to get attention like this when you all go out
together.

But that doesn’t mean it hurts any less when you see him grinding against another girl at the
bar.

Lacing her fingers with yours, Sasha pulls you close into her chest, nuzzling her face into
your neck. “You look like you’re about to deck that girl,” she laughs.

You try to pull away but Sasha holds you tight, earning an excited woah from Connie as the
two of you dance against one another. “He can dance with whoever he wants,” you say, teeth
clenched. “We’re just friends,” you stress, “Best friends.”

She blows a raspberry in your ear, causing you to jerk back with a shriek. “Lame,” she says,
dragging out the vowels before spinning you around, pulling you until your back is pressed
against her chest, your arms tangled in hers.
“Maybe you should try to make him jealous,” she says, her voice lilting into a sing-songy
tone as she rests her chin on your shoulder, “Since it seems to be getting you all worked up.”

“What are we, thirteen?”

“Fine,” she says, twirling you in her arms again until you’re facing each other once again.
“Just keep pining over him like a little puppy, then,” she challenges.

Sasha is the only person that knows about your crush on Jean and she is always scheming
ideas on how to get the two of you together. You never follow through with any of her
ridiculous schemes because they’re exactly that — ridiculous. But, you appreciate her
enthusiasm.

You scrunch your nose at her before moving away, rejoining Connie. “Are you guys gonna
make out?” he asks, wiggling his eyebrows and looking between you and Sasha.

“No, you pervert,” you say, sticking your tongue out at him.

The bodies of other dancers start bumping into all of you, some friendly, some not. You get a
little separated from the others through the crowd but manage to lock eyes with Sasha to see
her jerking her thumb back towards the table in a silent signal to leave.

You nod curtly, starting to nudge through the crowd to get back to her and Connie when a tall
figure stands before you. At first, you think it’s Jean, but looking up at his face you realize
it’s not. It’s Eren Jaeger, he was on the Paradis University hockey team with Jean and the two
of you have only spoken a handful of times, just drunken flirting at parties that went
nowhere.

He leans down to speak into your ear over the loud music, “Do you wanna dance?” His body
is already pressed close against yours from the crowd, hands hovering over your hips. Your
instinct is to decline and rush over to your friends, but Sasha’s words from earlier bounce
around in your head — Maybe you should make him jealous.

The thing with Eren Jaeger specifically is that he and Jean don’t get along… at all. The two
of them have known each other since high school and used to be best friends, but at some
point in the last few years, their friendly rivalry turned into full-blown hatred for one another.
The best person to use to incite jealousy in Jean would definitely be Eren Jaeger.

“Sure,” you say back, pressing up on your toes to speak into his ear. You lean around him to
make eye contact with Sasha through the crowd, pointing at Eren and then waving her off.

She looks at you blankly for a moment before the realization hits her. Eyes widening in
excitement, she flashes you two thumbs up before disappearing into the crowd.

Eren wraps his arms around your waist, pressing his hands firmly into your lower back as
you throw your arms around his shoulders, his face buried against your neck. It’s not so much
dancing as it is grinding, really. But between the buzz from the alcohol, his firm body against
yours, and the intoxicating scent of his cologne, you can feel your body start to heat in
arousal.
Eren is cute. It’s been hard for you to give him much thought with your crush on Jean, but
you haven’t been ignorant of the way he looks at you. You know he thinks you're attractive,
and if you didn’t before, you definitely do now when you feel a stiffness growing between
your bodies as your hips move against one another.

“You’re really hot,” he says into your neck, slurring.

Feeling bold from the alcohol, you press your lips gently against the skin just behind his ear.
“So are you,” you say, feeling him pull you tighter against himself in response.

You allow him to run his hands further down your body, kneading at your ass with both
hands. You clutch tightly onto his shoulders for stability as he leans forward into you. He
bites gently at the skin between your neck and your shoulder, causing you to gasp in surprise.
You try to look over his shoulder to see if your friends (aka, Jean) are watching, but Eren is
too tall. You can just see the top of Jean’s head from here — looks like he went back to the
table with Sasha and Connie — and he could be looking in your direction, but you can’t tell
for sure.

Still grinding into you, you can feel Eren growing harder in his pants and it’s making you
dizzy from arousal. Well, if Jean is watching, then maybe you should give him something to
be jealous about. You bring a hand down to grab Eren’s jaw, pulling his face away from your
neck and pressing your lips hard into his.

He groans into the kiss, instantly adding his tongue into your mouth to taste every inch of
you. Still hooking your arm around his neck for stability, you trail your hand from his jaw to
his stomach, gripping hard at the thin cotton of his shirt against his abs.

Eren runs a hand up the length of your back and tangles it into your hair. He swipes his
tongue along your lower lip and then captures it between his teeth, tugging on the soft skin
before releasing it.

Shit, Eren is a really good kisser. You shouldn’t be surprised. Being the star player of the
Scouts, he’s had plenty of girls to practice on after his popularity from being on the hockey
team. And you can tell he knows he’s a good kisser from the way he’s grabbing you and from
every moan he swallows from you. He knows exactly what kind of effect he’s having on you
and he is reveling in every moment.

He pulls away from you suddenly, a long string of almost translucent saliva stringing between
your mouths. His eyes are half-lidded, pupils blown out. You’re not sure if it’s because of
how drunk he is or how horny he is.

You’re sure you look just as fucked out as he does after that kiss.

“Come home with me,” he says, and you know it’s not a question.

You smile and lean forward to kiss him again, intending it to be brief but you lose yourself in
the feeling of his hands on your body again. You have to pry yourself away from him
begrudgingly. “I can’t,” you say, pained.
“Why not?” he frowns, still gripping your ass tightly. “Are you wasted?” His grip on you
loosens.

“No, just tipsy — but, I’m here with my friends,” you say, gesturing in the direction of your
table. “I can’t leave without them.”

He leans forward into your neck, gently licking and sucking at the sensitive skin as he says,
“They won’t care.”

Despite the wetness growing between your legs, you manage to find the strength to push
yourself away from him. “Another time,” you promise, kissing him once again quickly on the
cheek before darting out from the crowd and back to the table with your friends.

It’s not that you can’t leave your friends. It’s not even that you don’t want to sleep with him
(because you definitely do after that makeout session). It’s just that there’s still a small voice
in the back of your head that’s telling you not to do it because of Jean. How far are you
willing to go to make him jealous? Would it even work?

When you come up to the table, Connie’s in the middle of excitedly telling a story to Jean as
Sasha dozes on the table. Jean seems bored and annoyed, rolling his finger along the rim of
his glass but when he catches sight of you approaching the table he lights up.

“She’s back!” he says with a grin on his face.

“We should probably go,” you yell over the music, sliding next to Sasha and trying to shake
her awake.

“How was Eren?” Connie taunts. He makes kissy faces at you as Sasha lifts her head from
the table, eyes bleary. You notice how Jean scowls at the mention of Eren’s name.

You blush from being teased like this in front of Jean. You sling Sasha’s arm around your
shoulder to help her up before speaking, ignoring Connie’s comment entirely. “Can one of
you call a cab?”

Jean comes around the table to help you with Sasha’s other arm as Connie pulls out his
phone. Between the two of you (mostly Jean), you’re able to help her sleepy, limp body out
of the bar and onto a bench outside while you all wait for the cab to arrive.

Connie can’t sit still, bouncing around on the sidewalk and looking down the street for any
signs of the cab. Sasha’s fallen back asleep again with her head resting against Jean’s
shoulder. You sit on the bench next to Sasha, lacing her hand in yours and rubbing the
tendons on the back of her hand gently with your thumb.

“So,” Jean says, looking over the top of Sasha’s head at you. “Eren?”

You scrunch your nose, looking away from him. “We just made out, nothing serious.”

“He used to always ask me about you,” Jean says, and you look over at him with uncertainty.

“What did you say?”

“That he’s an asshole and that you’d never go for a guy like him.”

You laugh.

“Was I wrong?”

Looking over at Jean you see an unfamiliar look on his face. It takes you a beat to respond,
your voice dropping in volume. “I told you already, it’s nothing serious.”

He looks away from you with a hum, rubbing circles into Sasha’s back as she continues to
sleep against him. “It’s just…” you hold your breath, waiting for a response. “He’s really not
a good guy. You know about his reputation.”

You exhale slowly, trying to calm the pounding of your heart in your chest. “Why do you
care?”

“No — I mean, I don’t… it’s just —” he says, flustered. “I think you could do a lot better
than him.” He looks over at you with a softness in his eyes that makes your heart crumble.
“Nevermind, sorry. I’m drunk, I don’t know what I’m saying.” He smiles at you sheepishly
before turning away.

“What about you and that girl? Did you get her number?” you ask, not wanting to know the
answer.

He shrugs but doesn’t turn back to face you. “She was cute, but not really my type.”

“Why did you dance with her?”

“I liked the attention,” he says with a laugh.

You feel a buzz from your phone in your hand and see a message from Eren on Instagram.

Can’t wait for next time

You glance over at Jean from the corner of your eye briefly to see him still turned away from
you. Maybe Sasha finally has the right idea, Jean seems like he’s annoyed that you and Eren
were kissing — to the point where he felt the need to say something to you.

You wonder what Jean might do if he knew you and Eren were doing more than just kissing.

Come over tomorrow?

Eren responds with a tongue emoji.

***

You wake up the next morning to the sounds of laughter and the smell of breakfast from the
kitchen. Yawning and stretching, you crawl out of bed and walk down the hall to see your
friends. Jean is already busy cooking breakfast over the stove while Sasha and Connie fiddle
with your coffeemaker.
“Hey,” you whine, rushing over to them and shooing them away.

“Oh good, you’re awake,” Sasha says, relieved. “We can’t figure out that thing.”

“Yeah, leave it alone,” you say, looking over it to make sure they didn’t do anything to screw
it up.

You spent a few years working as a barista during university and ended up falling in love
with coffee. Connie, Jean, and Sasha had gifted you this fancy espresso machine for your last
birthday, and you cherished it like a newborn child.

“Why couldn’t we have gotten a normal coffee machine?” Connie complains, slumping into
his chair as you start making drinks for everyone.

“Hey, shut up, this coffee is way better than normal coffee-machine-coffee,” Jean says,
waving his spatula at Connie before turning to you. “How’d you sleep?” His eyes dart down
to your neck for a moment and you see his jaw tighten before he turns back to the stove.

You start working on drinks for your friends before responding, heart pounding in your chest
from Jean’s wandering eyes. “Not bad. I’m a little hungover, but overall ok,” you say.

“Ugh, must be nice,” Sasha groans, head in her hands. “I’ve got a soccer game in a few hours
and I think I’m going to puke on the field.”

You slide over a small espresso to Jean and he takes it with a nod, his fingers brushing
against yours as he grabs the cup. Biting your lip to hide your smile, you start working on
drinks for Connie and Sasha, they prefer more elaborate lattes and cappuccinos.

“And whose fault is that?” you ask teasingly.

“So, what’s the deal with you and Eren?” Connie asks, grinning as Jean hands him a plate
with breakfast. “I saw you DMing him in the cab last night.”

“He’s coming over later today,” you say, keeping your head down to hide your blush as
Connie and Sasha sing out an oooooh in unison.

“Are you guys gonna hook up?” Connie asks around a mouthful of toast.

“I don’t know, maybe. We’re just going to watch some Netflix.”

Delivering hot drinks to Connie and Sasha, you see the two of them exchange glances.

“Just watch some Netflix, eh?” Sasha asks, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Maybe do a little bit of chilling, too?” Connie asks as you sit down at the table with your
little espresso.

You frown at them from across the table, “I don’t know, we’re just hanging out.”
“Eren’s really hot,” Sasha says, eyes darting from you to Jean. You can already see the gears
turning in her head as she implements Operation: Make Jean Jealous on your behalf. “The
two of you look really cute together.”

“I barely know him,” you say, narrowing your eyes at her.

“He’s kind of a fuckboy, I didn’t know that was your type,” Jean says, deadpan, keeping his
back to the three of you as he cooks at the stove. The alarm on his phone starts ringing and he
shuts it off quickly before tugging on some oven mitts and pulling a tray of bacon from the
oven.

Sasha perks up with excitement at Jean’s negative comment, grinning as she says, “It’s been
so long since you’ve had a boyfriend. Why not give it a shot?”

Connie scoffs at this, “Eren’s never had a girlfriend before. He probably just wants to fuck
you.”

“Is there something wrong with that?” Sasha asks, looking over at the back of Jean’s head
again. “If you guys have a problem with our dear friend hooking up with a hot guy, speak
now or forever hold your peace.”

“You’re being dramatic,” you scold, embarrassed by how pushy Sasha is about this.

“All I’m saying is that maybe you two will fall in love,” Sasha says with a shrug.

Jean drops off plates of food for the rest of you before settling down at the table himself.
“Knock it off. You’re being annoying,” he snaps.

You try to shoot Jean a look of gratitude but he already has his head down, fork stabbing
aggressively into his hashbrowns. “Thanks,” you say instead. Looking over at Sasha, you see
her raise her eyebrows in approval.

Ok, so maybe Operation: Make Jean Jealous isn’t just another one of Sasha’s ridiculous
schemes. Maybe this time, it’ll work.

***

After breakfast, Sasha takes an excruciatingly long shower in an attempt to cure her hangover
while you lay on the couch and watch Jean and Connie play video games on the tv. When
Sasha finally gets out of the shower, hair still sopping wet with bags under her eyes, she’s
dressed in her soccer uniform and leaves almost immediately. She takes the time to wiggle
her eyebrows, glancing between you and Jean sitting next to each other on the couch, before
closing the door behind her and leaving.

“I’m going to go take a shower,” you say but the boys don’t even register your presence. You
doubt they can even hear you over their game.

Slinking into the bathroom, you take a look at yourself in the mirror. No bags under your
eyes like Sasha, but your skin needs a good exfoliant. Leaning closer into the mirror, you can
see that your lips are still a little swollen from Eren’s kisses last night and there’s a dark mark
on your neck from where he bit you.

That must have been what caught Jean’s attention this morning.

You thumb the mark absent-mindedly as you brush your teeth, feeling a nervous tightness
grow in your chest as you think about Eren coming over today. You’re honestly not even sure
why you invited him over — it must’ve been the liquid courage. Again, it’s not that you don’t
think Eren is hot or that you don’t want to hook up with him, you are just feeling a bit…
scared.

It’s one thing to make out with Eren at the bar, but it’s a whole other thing to invite him over
for a hookup.

Despite your aloofness during breakfast, you know this is a booty call. There’s no chance that
you and Eren are just going to sit in your room and watch Netflix together without anything
else going on. Especially after the way he was grabbing and kissing you last night.

You haven’t hooked up with someone in a while, and now you’re about to hook up with The
Eren Jaeger, known fuck boy and womanizer, to try to make Jean, the guy you’re actually
interested in, jealous enough to confess his feelings for you.

It sounds ridiculous now that you’re thinking it over with sober eyes.

You consider texting Eren again and telling him to forget about it, that you changed your
mind and you don’t want him to come over anymore… but you don’t.

Eren was an amazing kisser last night and the way he was grabbing you really turned you on.
The two of you had always been flirty with one another at parties, so this is your chance to
finally clear out the sexual tension between the two of you. There was no harm in having a
one-afternoon stand with a hot guy, especially if the rumours of his sexual prowess are true.

Giddy, you turn on the water to the shower, resolving to clean yourself up and shave fully in
preparation for tonight. You can hardly contain your excitement.

***

Eren arrives just after you finish eating dinner. Sasha is still out with her soccer friends while
Connie and Jean are still glued to the loud tv. You’re not even sure they notice when Eren
comes in through the door and slinks down the hallway behind you into your room.

Closing your bedroom door, you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. The
flimsy wood of your door does a lot to muffle the sound of the boys’ shooter game outside,
thankfully. You look up into Eren’s predatory emerald eyes as he towers above you, his long
dark hair tied up into a half-ponytail out of his face.

“So,” he says, arching a brow.

“So,” you respond, looking away awkwardly. You gesture vaguely to the bed, watching as
Eren glances over with a smirk. “I don’t have a tv in here, but we can use my laptop for
Netflix.”

“Sounds good,” he says, making himself comfortable on your bed while you grab your laptop
from your desk.

“What do you want to watch?” you ask.

“Doesn’t matter,” he says, scanning your body with his eyes as you go to lie down next to
him with the computer on your lap.

You swallow loudly and just click randomly on one of your comfort shows as Eren wraps an
arm around your shoulders. You can practically feel electricity shooting from his fingertips as
he grabs your arm. It’s hard to focus on what’s going on in the tv show when the sound of
blood is rushing in your ears and Eren’s vanilla cologne is overpowering your senses.

Did you really want to allow yourself to be another one of his conquests? To be just like all of
those girls you and Sasha used to roll your eyes at when they would throw themselves at Eren
at parties? Even before Jean and Eren’s falling out, the gang used to always warn you about
Eren and his bad reputation.

Now that the two of you are alone together and the reality of the situation is sinking in,
you’re starting to get intimidated by his sexual experience.

“You’re so tense.”

You jump as Eren speaks into your ear, proving his point.

“Relax. Put down the laptop.”

He pulls the computer away and sets it down on the bed next to you both, twisting your torso
so your back is against his chest. He starts to knead at your shoulders with both hands, trying
to help you relax. His massage makes you more anxious at first, but as his hands start to
firmly work out the tightness in your shoulders, you start to relax.

“Is this good?” he asks, lips brushing against your ear, he sounds so cool and confident. You
assume this must be his move because you feel like putty in his hands. All your nervousness
from a few minutes ago is lost under the heavy pressing of Eren’s hands on your skin.

“Yes — Harder,” you say, voice breathy as his hands massage into you more firmly. You have
to bite your lip to hold back a moan as his strong fingers work into the muscles in your back.
His warm hands on your back and breath against your neck cause heat to grow between your
legs. You squirm on the bed, pressing your thighs tightly together to control the feeling and
hope that he doesn’t notice.

“Still good?” Eren asks, his voice just a low whisper as he runs his thumbs up your spine to
the nape of your neck. You can practically hear the smirk on his face — oh, he definitely
noticed.

At this, you can’t control the breathy, moaning, “Yes,” that his hands pull from you. Your
body is fully relaxed and almost falling back into him. Wow, he is really good with his hands.
And at flirting. And… everything. You allow yourself to fall under his spell as his hands
roam your body.

Stirring behind you, he presses his mouth softly on the junction between your neck and
shoulder, exactly where he left the mark from last night. “You sound so sexy,” he says into
your skin, dragging his lips along your shoulder.

You can’t control your gasping moans as his hands knead harder into your back. He must take
this as a sign you want to go further, because his hands shift down to your waist, pulling you
into his lap until your back is flush against his chest.

He grabs your chin, tilts your head to the side, and presses his lips into yours for a kiss.

Just like last night, his kiss is intoxicating. His soft lips move seamlessly against yours as his
tongue glides into your mouth to play with your own. He nudges his legs between yours and
spreads you open so his other hand can run up and down your inner thigh.

You bring one hand back to pull at the hair on the back of his head, deepening the kiss as
your other rests on his thigh for stability. Chills run up your spine as you let both of his hands
roam your body — grabbing at your thighs, your waist, your breasts — until you’re gasping
into his mouth and grinding down into his lap.

One of his hands roams down to rub you through the thin material of your tights, while the
other slides up your shirt to cup your breast. The rings on his fingers are cool against your
skin in contrast to his burning touch and you whimper when he pinches your nipple through
the fabric of your bra.

Eren pulls away from the kiss to whisper, “Turn around for me, I want to see your pretty
face.” You can feel the way his mouth moves around each word as his lips brush against
yours and you pathetically nod in response.

He hooks one hand under your knee and helps you spin on his lap, lifting your leg up and
over his head until it lands on the other side of him and you’re straddling his lap. He purses
his lips in approval, “You’re flexible.”

It makes you blush.

Eren pulls your shirt over your head and tosses it to the ground before quickly following with
his own. He pulls you tighter against the firmness of his chest and the heat between your
bodies makes you feel like you’re on fire. He grips your hips and watches your mouth hang
open in pleasure as he grinds you back and forth along his hardening cock.

“I wish you could see how pretty you are like this,” he smirks, eyes glinting in mischief with
every gasp and groan that spills from your lips. Embarrassed, you close the gap between your
mouths, pressing deeply into him and tangling your tongues together to avoid his gaze.

Almost losing yourself to the rocking of your hips against his, you realize that you can’t hear
the shooting sounds from the boys’ game outside anymore. Instead, you hear the familiar
thudding of someone walking past your room and the click of a door closing. You pause,
pulling away slightly from Eren.

“What?” he groans, obviously annoyed.

“Jean’s in his room,” you say quietly, gesturing to the thin wall separating your two rooms.
You want Jean to get jealous but you don’t know if you want him to hear you having sex —
would that be too much?

Eren smirks, pressing his lips against the hollow in your throat before saying, “Guess you’ll
have to be quiet then.”

As if to challenge you, his hands unhook the bra behind your back and pulls it off you,
leaving your breasts exposed to the cool air. You try to protest, feeling awkward, but Eren
runs a flat tongue along the nub of your nipple, causing you to bite your lip and grab at his
shoulders from the sensation.

“Do you like that?” he asks, doing it again before you can respond. This time, you whimper
as his tongue flicks back and forth over your hardened nipple.

“Oh, you do,” he teases before taking it entirely into the warmth of his mouth.

You have to clutch at the hair on the back of his head as his tongue flicks over and back on
your nipple, your hips grinding down into his lap from the sensation. You mute yourself to
quiet gasps and whimpers, hoping and praying that Jean can’t hear a thing over the sound of
your discarded Netflix show. Your body responds eagerly to Eren’s touch as your heartbeat
pounds between your legs.

When Eren pulls off from your chest he looks up at you with blown-out pupils. There’s a thin
line of saliva trailing from your nipple to his lower lip and you can’t control yourself from
grabbing his face and kissing him hard. You understand completely now why so many girls
fall over themselves to be with him. Suddenly, you need him.

He hooks your legs around his waist and maneuvers your body so you’re laying down on
your back with Eren’s strong, muscled body caged above you. He pulls away from your lips
and trails kisses down your torso, licking and sucking at the soft skin as he makes his way
down to the hem of your leggings.

Eren slides his fingers under the waistband and pauses, looking up at you. You swallow
thickly and give him a quick nod in approval. He smirks, kissing your stomach gently before
tugging your pants and underwear off of your hips, leaving you naked on the bed beneath
him.

“Wow, look at you,” he marvels, eyes fixed on your aching core. “You’re so wet for me
already,” he smiles, fingers brushing gently against your folds, spreading the wetness across
them. “Did you get all worked up like this just from my little massage? Or were you thinking
about me before I came over?”
You turn your face away from his cocky smirk in embarrassment at his comment. You had
gotten yourself a little worked up during the day while you waited for Eren to come over —
and could he blame you? After everything you had heard about him, you can’t help but be
excited.

“Cute,” he says as if he can read your mind. He presses his thumb against your clit, swirling
it in soft circles as his fingers play with your opening. “I can’t believe you left me at the bar
last night — aching and horny for you,” his voice is low and slow when he speaks, each word
sending more heat between your legs.

“Such a tease,” he scolds. “Kissing me and grinding on me like you want me, then leaving
me all alone.” He presses his finger against your entrance, pushing slightly but not enough to
dive inside of you. You gasp and whimper beneath him and grip hard on the sheets.

“Oh, do you want more?” he croons and he moves his other hand to rest on the pillow next to
your face, looming above you as he continues to tease and play with you. You tug your
bottom lip between your teeth and nod desperately at him, afraid to make a sound.

“Did you think about me when you came home?” his head dips down to your neck, kissing
and sucking on the skin as his thumb continues to make slow, lazy circles around your clit
when you whimper in affirmation. “Did you touch yourself?”

His teeth sink into the soft skin of your shoulder and you let out a stuttered moan, hands
flying from the sheets to his biceps and sinking your nails into his skin. “Eren,” you gasp.

Your hips buck up into his hands but he keeps his fingers away from where you need them.
You can feel the wetness building up between your thighs and can hear the lewd sounds of
your folds moving against his fingers as he strokes you gently.

“Come on,” he urges, “Tell me how you do it. Do you like to tease yourself?”

You hum in response and he lifts his head from your neck, looking down at you with blown-
out pupils. His fingers slide from your opening to your clit, they’re slick from your arousal
and move more smoothly against you than his thumb. Your grip on his arms leaves small,
crescent-shaped marks on his skin as you gasp and squirm beneath him.

“Do you play with your clit or do you finger yourself?” he asks, his voice is so low it’s just a
grumble in your ears.

“Both,” you admit, biting your lip as you look up at him. You watch his eyebrows quirk up in
amusement as he slides his fingers back down to your entrance.

“Dirty,” he tsks. You’re so wet from his teasing that Eren can slide his entire finger into you
without resistance. You gasp in pleasure as he pushes himself into the knuckle, the cool metal
from his ring pressing against you. “God, you’re so worked up right now,” he smiles,
watching your face as he gently pumps his finger in and out of you. “I wish you could see
yourself.”
You whimper and turn your face away from his intense stare in embarrassment, trying to hold
yourself back from making louder noises as he pumps and curls his finger inside of you.
Even with just one finger, he’s already making your head dizzy.

“Do you want more?”

“Yes,” you answer quickly, hips rolling against his hand to chase your release. He’s playing
with you enough to keep you on the edge, but not quite enough to make you cum. “Please,
Eren,” you beg, shameless.

He presses another finger into you and this time you feel the stretch as he pushes inside of
you. His fingers are longer and thicker than yours and when they curl inside of you you have
to clamp your teeth down onto your lip to stop from moaning.

“Tell me how you like it,” his breath is hot on your ear but you still feel a chill down your
spine when he speaks.

You clench your eyes shut tightly, unable to focus on seeing and being quiet at the same time
as Eren’s fingers work inside of you. “Harder,” you whisper. “Faster.”

Your inability to form more than one-word sentences has Eren chuckling above you and you
don’t need to open your eyes to know he’s probably smirking down at you. “You’re so cute,”
he hums, pressing his lips into your neck, just below your ear. “I bet you’d look even cuter
cumming on my fingers.”

Eren starts to move harder and faster, just like you asked. His fingers pump deep inside of
you until the heel of his hand is grinding against your clit with every thrust. Your legs clench
around his hips as you throw your head back in pleasure, mouth open in a silent scream while
your nails dig into the muscles in his arms.

“Does it feel good?” he teases as your hips fuck down into his hand for more. The noise you
make in response is pathetic, whiny, and loud as his fingers curl up to hit your sweet spot.
“Fuck yeah,” he growls, “Do that again.”

Your body trembles and shakes beneath him as he finger fucks an orgasm out of you, curling
his fingers in that same spot over and over while you sob into the pillow. You clench your
eyes shut as you squeeze around him, struggling to catch your breath as he pulls more and
more lewd sounds from you.

When you finally relax against his body, your hands loosening their grip on his arms, and
your legs relaxing against the bed, he pulls his fingers out from inside of you. He brings his
hand up to his face, sucking the two glistening fingers into his mouth as he looks down at you
with pride.

You’re still gasping for breath when you move your hands to his chest, catching the dark
marks from your nails in his arm and your eyebrows raise in alarm. His gaze moves from
your face to his arms, seeing the marks and chuckling.
“Ow,” he says quietly, eyes darting back to your face. “We haven’t even gotten started yet
and you’re already marking me up.” Eren looks down at you, excited, and you tremble under
his gaze.

You want him to do everything he wants to your body. You want him to pull orgasm after
orgasm from you until you’re just a puddle of sex on the mattress. You want him to pull your
hair and fuck you stupid while you scream out his name until your throat is raw.

But you can’t — not with Jean in the next room… and Connie somewhere else in the house.

You shake your head quickly, “Eren, I can’t,” you whine, voice still tight. “Please just fuck
me, I can’t take it anymore.”

“Tapping out so quick?” he tsks and you almost cave to the pressure as his eyes roam down
your body. “Next time, then.”

“Next time,” you confirm, nodding eagerly as he sits up on his knees. He pulls a small foil
wrapper from his back pocket, tossing the condom onto your stomach as he works on
unbuckling his belt. You can see his cock straining in his jeans and it makes your mouth
water, fingers trembling as you carefully tear open the wrapper.

He slides his pants off and tosses them onto the ground next to the bed, looming above you
with his cock in hand. He strokes along the shaft, smearing the precum dribbling from his tip
across his length as you fumble with the wrapper.

You wouldn’t be having such a hard time with this if you could only tear your eyes away
from his dick for a second. Watching him stroking his cock on his knees between your legs
like this, body chiseled like some sort of Greek God, dark hair falling into his face — it’s so
fucking hot, you can’t believe this is happening.

When you finally get the condom out, you hold it up to Eren to put on but he shakes his head.
“No, I want you to do it.”

Swallowing thickly you reach out for him, replacing his hand with your own as you stroke
his cock. He’s hot and heavy in your hands and you run your tongue along your lips as you
stare down his shaft. You want to feel him in your throat.

Instead of leaning forward and taking him into your mouth, you raise your other hand to
press the condom against his tip. Using both hands, you roll it down along his length as Eren
grunts above you. “Is that ok?” you ask, looking up at him.

“Yeah, it’s good.”

He pushes you onto your back with your shoulders before looming above you again, caging
you down between his arms. He takes one of your hands in his, interlocking your fingers and
holding your hand down into the mattress by your head.

“No more marks,” he says sternly, and you nod.

“No more marks.”

With his other hand, he guides his cock to your entrance, taking the time to collect your
wetness on his tip, rubbing himself all over you as you squirm beneath him. He slaps your
clit a few times gently with his cock and smirks down at you when you whimper.

“You want it?”

“Eren, p-please!”

He plunges into you mid-sentence and you stutter and gasp at the feeling. His cock fills you
up completely, your walls clenching hard around him to try to accommodate his girth, but
Eren doesn’t give you any time before he starts thrusting his hips in and out of you.

You chant his name like a prayer as he pumps his cock into you, dragging against your walls
and hitting you in just the right spot that has you curling your toes and throwing your head
back. Jean in the next room long forgotten as the lewd sounds of skin slapping against skin
fills the room along with your panting and moaning.

Eren grabs your other hand and holds it down in the same way, pinning you beneath him as
he fucks you. “You look so pretty stretched around my cock like this,” he grunts, his chest
glistening with a fine layer of sweat from the exertion.

“Do you like that? Does it feel good when I fuck you like this?” he snaps his hips fully into
you before pressing even harder against you, forcing himself deep inside of you as wanton
moans spill past your lips. Your hands struggle under his weight, wanting to rake your hands
down his back at the feeling.

Unsatisfied with your lack of response, he pulls himself out until just the swollen mushroom
head of his cock is inside you before snapping his hips forward. The force sends your whole
body rocking upwards on the bed as you cry out. “I asked you a question,” he says,
practically growling from the depths of his chest.

“Yes, Eren,” you whine, hands squeezing around his as you sob. “Please, Eren, fuck me
harder,” you beg.

This time, he actually does growl before pressing his lips hard against yours. “I want you to
cum hard all over my fucking cock, just like how you came on my fingers. Can you do that
for me?”

“I want to,” you sob, lifting your head off the pillow as he moves away, chasing his lips.
“Please, Eren, I want to.”

His pace is relentless as he fucks you hard into the mattress, your hips springing back up into
him from the force of his thrusts. You can feel another tight coil building in your core as he
pounds into you, leaving you gasping and breathless for him. “Eren, please, I’m close —
don’t stop!”

He groans in approval of your desperation. He lets go of one of your hands to press against
the wall behind you, adding more leverage and force with every thrust. “Yeah, baby, cum for
me,” he grunts.
Each thrust causes the headboard of your bed to rock into the wall, and the mattress creaks
loudly beneath you as your free hand grips and pulls on the sheets. Despite your fucked out
haze, you’re still mindful not to dig your nails into his skin as you rapidly approach release.

Like fireworks, you cum hard around his cock. You throw your head back and arch up into
his chest as your pussy flutters around him. Each movement of his hips against you has you
crying out his name as you gush and squeeze around him.

“Fuck, that’s my good girl,” he groans, biting into your shoulder as his hips stutter against
yours, struggling to fuck you with the same intensity as before while you grip him. It only
takes a few more frantic pumps before he’s burying himself completely up to the hilt inside
of you, cock twitching as he spills his cum into the condom.

He stays on top of you, foreheads pressed together as you come down from your respective
orgasms. You’re breathless and sticky and sore, but you still whimper in disappointment
when he pulls his now-softening cock from inside of you and collapses next to you on the
bed.

Eren pulls off the condom and ties a small knot in it before tossing it down onto the floor.
You let out a pathetic, whiny, hey in displeasure.

“I’ll clean it up before I go,” he says, waving his hand in dismissal. “Just let me chill for a
second.”

When the two of you finally catch your breath, you realize that your hand has found its way
back into Eren’s, your fingers enterlaced together as his thumb strokes the back of your hand
gently. He looks over at you with a lazy smile, giving your hand a quick squeeze before
sitting up on the bed.

“Well, that was fun.” He reaches down onto the ground to grab his jeans, pulling them back
up onto his hips and re-doing his belt. “What did you think?”

“Yeah, I liked it,” you say shyly, pulling the blankets over yourself to hide your exposed body
from him.

“I’d love to stay, but I have work in the morning and it’s a long drive back to my place,” he
explains as he pulls back on his shirt. True to his word, he grabs the used condom from the
floor and stuffs it back into the condom wrapper before gathering the rest of his things.

“You’re leaving already?” It’s not like the two of you are dating or anything, but you had
kind of expected that he would stay and cuddle with you for a little bit at least. The painful
reality of you being just another conquest for him is crashing around you.

You feel used and gross.

As if Eren can sense your mood, he leans down over you on the bed to press a soft kiss on
your forehead, then your cheek, and your nose, before finally resting on your lips. “Don’t be
so sad, baby, I’ll see you again.”
You hum in response when he moves away, unconvinced.

He runs his hands through his sweaty hair, adjusting the hair tie until his long, dark locks are
tied up into a bun on the back of his head. “Next time, I don’t want you holding yourself
back, ok?” He smirks down at you when you look away from him, embarrassed. “Fuck Jean.”

Jean?

“Oh shit,” you whisper, eyes darting over to your shared wall.

But this is what you wanted. You wanted Jean to hear you and Eren hooking up so he would
be jealous.

So why do you feel so guilty now?

 Titan LLP
Chapter Notes

Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter up and also for any formatting issues!! I’m
doing this on my phone because I am currently snowed-in at a cabin with no computer
and iffy wifi! Thanks for your patience and I will go back and make any formatting edits
once I make it back home!!

I worked as an auditor at a Big 4 for several years, so some of what you see in this fic
will be based on my experiences. There will be some embellishments for plot purposes
so please don’t think that what you read here is 100% accurate!

CW: Alcohol, explicit language

The next morning, Connie and Jean don’t mention anything about your night with Eren, but
you notice that they have a hard time making eye contact with you. It’s fine when you’re
getting ready at home, but now that you’re sitting in Jean’s car with him on the commute to
work, the awkwardness is killing you.

You clear your throat, causing him to startle. “Sorry, about last night,” you say, looking down
into your lap as a blush grows across your face.

“It’s ok,” Jean says, his eyes still fixed on the road.

“I was hoping you guys would keep playing that loud game,” you say awkwardly.

“Can we not talk about this?” Jean snaps. You can see his knuckles turn white as he grips the
steering wheel. “Let’s just listen to a podcast or something, ok?”

“Yeah, sure,” you say quickly, pulling out your phone. “Sorry.”

Jean’s attitude is surprising. He’s not usually this short with you unless he’s angry at you.

Is he angry at you?

You turn on one of your favourite podcasts and allow the voice of the hosts to fill the silence
in the car as you look down into your lap in thought.

You don’t want Jean to be angry with you — you want him to be jealous. Maybe hooking up
with Eren was a mistake. The two boys hate each other, so maybe now Jean is disgusted with
you.

Your heart plumets into your stomach at the thought and you swallow thickly.
Did you just screw things up for yourself?

***

When the two of you get off the elevator on your floor, there’s already a crowd of people at
reception.

“Accountants over here!” calls a girl with shoulder-length red hair.

“Consultants over here!” calls an older guy with short, curled brown hair.

You and Jean join the crowd to the right near the girl. You try to stand up on your toes to scan
for familiar faces, but everyone is too tall for you to see past.

“Do you see anyone we know?” you ask, looking up at Jean as he scans the crowd.

“Oh! Yeah, I see one of my hockey buddies,” he taps your shoulder and starts making his
way through the crowd, “I’ll be right back.”

He walks away before you’re able to protest, leaving you alone in the crowd of people. You
clutch your purse tightly against your chest and try to keep your eyes low, feeling a little
embarrassed and lonely.

“Hey there, babe,” you hear him before you see him. Eren’s deep husky voice speaking into
your ear from behind.

“Eren!” you squeak, surprised. “What are you doing here?”

He gestures over to the other crowd of new hires. “I got hired here as a consultant,” he
explains. “Surprised to see you here.”

“Jean and I got hired here as accountants,” you respond, shuffling your weight from one foot
to the next. You wonder if Jean will be mad if he sees you talking with Eren.

“Oh, that’s cute, we’re coworkers,” he coos, leaning down to face you. “How’re you feeling
today? Sore?”

“A little,” you admit, face burning in embarrassment.

“You did so good last night,” he says, voice lowering. He grabs you by the back of the neck
and pulls you close into his body to press his lips against the shell of your ear. “Took me so
well, baby. Like you were made for me.”

You push off from him in alarm, glaring at him. “Don’t say that!” you whisper sharply,
hoping nobody nearby heard. “There might be a company policy around that sort of thing,”
you say quietly and you lean into Eren slightly to muffle your voice from the others.

As you do, you catch the scent of his cologne and your mind instantly flashes back to
memories of him on top of you, causing a dull ache between your legs. His lips twitch in
amusement and you want nothing more than to kiss them and tear off his clothes, but you
look away instead.

What is wrong with you? One night with Eren Jaeger and you are already no better than any
of those other girls from school.

“Shouldn’t you be in the other group?” you ask, trying to fill the silence as you feel his eyes
roaming your body.

“Yeah, but they’re still waiting on a few other people, so I’ve got some time,” he says with a
shrug, slinging an arm around your shoulders.

Jean returns from talking with his friend, eyes widening at Eren’s arm around your shoulders,
suddenly unable to make eye contact with either of you. “Didn’t know you got a job here
too,” he says, looking at the floor.

“Yeah, I was just telling our girl here how excited I am,” he says, giving you a squeeze. You
frown up at him and shove his arm off your shoulder, shuffling away from Eren and closer to
Jean.

“By the way,” Eren says, leaning forward toward Jean. Curious, Jean leans in too. “Sorry
about all the noise yesterday, just wanted to make sure our girl was satisfied.”

You and Jean both flush bright red. Jean mumbles a quiet, s’ok while you shove Eren back to
his consulting group in embarrassment.

“Eren!” you scold.

Eren catches your hands in his, laughing. “Just teasing!” he squeezes your hands gently
before letting go, winking at you as he turns around to join his group.

“I’m so sorry about him,” you say to Jean, flustered.

Thankfully, the girl at the front of the crowd calling for accountants starts clapping. “Ok
everyone, it is officially 8 am and our workday begins! Follow me to the training room.”

***

The girl from reception, whose name you learn is Petra, has been with Titan for four years
and is one of the Senior Accountants working here with you. She walks you and all the other
new hires through some general learning exercises and onboarding, using a company-made
slideshow and some handouts.

Jean introduces you to his hockey friend, Reiner, and the three of you sit together as you
work on the assignments. It’s basic stuff for the most part: setting up your laptop and email,
creating accounts to access client data on the Portal, and a few technical exercises to get you
used to the actual accounting part of the job.

“This is different from school,” Jean mumbles as he fiddles with the program, still struggling
to finish the last assignment before leaving. He bounces his leg next to you in irritation,
gently brushing against yours as you lean in to help him.

Throughout the day, Jean’s attitude gradually returns to normal. The two of you are laughing
and joking and helping each other out with assignments, just like normal. You’re glad that all
of the awkwardness from this morning is gone.

“I’m sure we’ll get the hang of it,” Reiner says with a shrug, looking down at the schedule on
his computer. “Looks like we get a few more days of training and then on Friday we’ve got
an Icebreaker Event.”

“What’s that?” you ask.

Petra comes by as the three of you chat, noticing that you’re one of the few groups lagging
behind at the end of the day. “Is everything ok over here?” she asks.

“We were just wondering about the Icebreaker Event,” Jean says quickly, not wanting to
admit that he’s already struggling on his first day. You try to hide your laughter from his
response as you lean away and he sends you a quick warning look.

“Do you guys like to drink?” Petra asks. The three of you look at each other silently before
nodding. “That’s good, it’s a big part of our work culture here.

“The Icebreaker Event gives all the new hires a chance to officially meet the other staff, the
managers, and the partners. Unofficially, it’s just an excuse for everyone to get drunk for the
day,” she says with a glint in her eye.

“The event starts at 9 am,” Reiner says, looking down at the schedule.

“I said all day, didn’t I?” Petra says, raising a brow.

“Wow,” Jean whispers, “That’s really cool.”

Petra smiles, “Get used to it! We have events like this every couple of weeks. Work hard,
play hard,” she says with a laugh. “Are you guys done yet? I can’t leave until you do,” she
says with a small sigh.

Jean snaps his laptop shut quickly, “Yeah, all done!” he says, but you know he’s not being
truthful.

“Excellent,” she says with a smile. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow!”

The three of you pack up your things into your Titan-supplied laptop bags before heading out.
Reiner rides down in the elevator with you and Jean, sighing heavily and leaning back against
the mirrored wall.

“Day one: complete,” he says, gently punching Jean in the shoulder. “Can you believe it?
Who’d’ve thought we’d be working at a place like this together?”

“No kidding,” Jean laughs, running a hand through his hair.

Knowing him for the past few years, you recognize this to be one of his nervous tics, but
Reiner doesn’t comment on it. Instead, he chatters on and on about how excited he is to be
done with school and making money.

“The only thing that would make this better would be if Bertl was working here at Titan,
too,” Reiner says with a lopsided smile.

“What’s that guy up to these days?” Jean asks, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “He
graduated with you in accounting, right?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Reiner nods. “He stayed in Marley working for his dad’s firm back home,
some small local place. He usually works there in the summer, so he’s got lots of experience
already.”

“Shit, no kidding, eh?” Jean says, whistling in approval. “Do you think he’s gonna try to
poach any of our clients here in the big city?”

Reiner laughs, loud and deep from his chest as the elevator slows to a stop. “If some little
Podunk town in Marley can poach one of Titan’s clients, then they deserve it.”

“We’ll see you later, man!” Jean says, adjusting his bag on his shoulder as the elevator dings!
to indicate your arrival to the main floor.

Reiner pushes off from the back wall of the elevator once the doors open and heads out,
turning around to wave at you before they shut again. “Nice meeting you!”

“You too!” you call, just as the doors shut and the elevator begins to descend further to the
parking garage. “Reiner seems nice.”

“Yeah, he’s a cool dude,” Jean says, running another hand through his hair. “You two seem to
be getting along pretty well.”

“I guess,” you say, walking with Jean out of the elevator when it stops on your floor. “It’s
nice to have some friends at the office since we’ll be working together so much.”

“Friends like Eren?”

You look down, feeling the burn of embarrassment on your cheeks as the two of you walk to
Jean’s car. “I guess,” you say slowly.

“You two seemed really close this morning —”

“That’s just how Eren is, I think.”

“— and last night.”

You groan, covering your face with one hand as you throw your bag in the trunk with the
other. You walk around to the passenger side of Jean’s car and crawl in as he turns the key,
still burning in embarrassment.
“Are we talking about this now?” you ask.

“Yeah,” Jean snickers as he pulls out of his parking spot and starts to drive out of the parkade.
“I felt pretty awkward about the whole thing this morning, but I’m over it now.”

“Glad to hear,” you say, rolling your eyes. “Yeah, I’m really sorry about whatever you and
Connie may have heard.”

“Eren’s dirty talk is definitely not something I ever want to have to listen to again,” Jean
says, shaking his head. “Ugh, God, do girls really like that shit?”

“I don’t know,” you say, face hot. “It sounds good in the moment.”

He shrugs, one hand on the wheel and the other resting on the centre console between your
two seats. “It’s fine, it’s normal. I just mean like… Eren, though?” You laugh as his hand
grips the steering wheel a little tighter. “You know about his reputation from school. I didn’t
think you’d be interested in a guy like him.”

“We’re not dating,” you say sternly, lips pressed into a line in annoyance.

“So, it was just a one-time thing?”

You hesitate to answer, glancing over at Jean. He keeps his eyes fixed on the road but his
fingers tap impatiently on the centre console as he waits for you to respond.

Was it just a one-time thing? That would probably be the safe thing to do, with the two of you
working together at Titan. There might be rules about office relationships and things could
get messy, but you had fun with him and you are loving the reaction this is getting you from
Jean — now that he’s not snippy and angry with you anymore, at least.

But, then again, maybe this will just end up pushing Jean away further. He can’t stand Eren,
so should you really be sleeping around with the one guy Jean hates the most? What sounded
like a good idea in your drunken haze from a few nights ago, sounds less like a good idea
now, and more like a recipe for disaster.

Would Eren even want something more with you? He had a reputation for pumping and
dumping girls, but he was still so flirty with you this morning. Your heart races at the thought
that he might want more with you, that maybe you did something to get him hooked on you.

“Yeah, it’s just a one-time thing,” you say finally watching as Jean’s hand relaxes around the
steering wheel. “It was fun, but you’re right. He has a reputation.”

Jean breathes a small sigh of relief through his nostrils and reaches his arm across the centre
console to rest on your knee. “I’m glad to hear you say that. Eren’s… cool… I guess, but he’s
a shitbag.”

You laugh, “What ever happened between the two of you? Weren’t you guys friends?”

“Yeah, I don’t know.” Jean removes his hand, much to your dismay, to rub at the nape of his
neck. “He’s just so fucking sanctimonious.”
“Wow, that’s a two-dollar word.”

“It’s the best one to use.”

“You’re not going to tell me what it means?”

“Nah,” Jean laughs. “Read a book once in a while and maybe you’d know.”

You dramatically pout in your seat, causing Jean to laugh harder. He reaches out again to give
you a light squeeze on your knee and lets his hand linger there as he drives.

“So, if not Eren, then Reiner?”

“Ew, no,” you say quickly. “Not that there’s anything wrong with Reiner, he’s just not what
I’m into.”

“What are you into then? I don’t think I’ve seen you date someone seriously since we’ve
been friends.”

“I’m picky,” you say, fiddling with your fingers in your lap, hyperaware of the warmth of
Jean’s hand on your knee. “Just the basics: kind, funny, smart, respectful.”

“Is that tough to find?”

“You’d be surprised,” you laugh. “What about you?”

Jean shrugs, sliding his hand off your knee to return to the steering wheel. “I haven’t dated in
a while — haven’t really thought about it.”

“Do you… not want to date anyone?”

“Nah, I think maybe now that school is over I’ll give it another shot. It’s tough to find time to
date when you’re in school.”

“Yeah, totally.”

It’s true, Jean hasn’t dated anyone since his last relationship ended. Sasha mentioned to you
once that Jean had hooked up with someone at a party right after the breakup, as a rebound,
but other than that, there’s been no one.

“Hard to meet people now, though,” you say. “With work and everything.”

“I could date someone at work.”

Jean’s answer surprises you. “You would?”

He shrugs, “Yeah, I mean, why not? Everyone that works there is around our age anyway.
Even if there’s rules against it, I doubt this is going to be my job for the rest of my life, so if I
had to quit if things got serious with someone that would be ok.”

“Oh.”
“Would you?”

“I think if it was the right guy, then yeah.”

Jean looks over at you with a soft smile, but you keep your eyes fixed on the road. Your heart
feels like it’s pounding out of your chest with this new information.

“Cool,” Jean says before turning back to look at the road.

***

On Friday, you and Jean show up to work at 8 am, wanting a chance to check out your desks
for the first time before the event. Petra had given you all maps of the building, individually
marked with your seating arrangements, to help you navigate through the office for the first
little while. You and Jean were delighted to see on your maps that you were seated across
from one another and were looking forward to seeing how the setup looked in person.

Jean confidently walks ahead of you through the office as you navigate behind him, naming
off points of interest as you pass them. “This area here is the tax division,” you whisper,
glancing up to see all the desks already filled with people working hard on their computers.

“Seems dull,” Jean whispers back.

“The consulting division is on the opposite side of the building,” you say as you continue to
walk through the halls. “And the law division is on the far end over there,” you gesture
vaguely.

“Where’s the accounting division?” Jean asks, looking around curiously as you continue to
walk.

“Should be coming up on it soon,” you say, trying to figure out where you are on the map.
“The lunchroom is in the centre of the floor, so once we pass that, we’ll be in the accounting
division.”

“I wonder if they have one of those fancy coffee machines,” Jean teases. “You could show
them all how to use it.”

“I’m not a barista anymore,” you huff as the two of you walk down the hall.

Coming up to the lunchroom, the two of you duck your heads in briefly to look before
continuing along. It’s huge, with a full kitchen, two large stainless steel fridges, and a couple
of tables. Interestingly enough, as well as having an automated coffee machine on the
counter, there’s also a small cafe in the opposite corner of the room with two baristas. A few
people are in here already, some chatting near the fridges with a few others in line at the
cafe.

“Wow,” you whistle, “Pretty fancy.”

“No kidding,” Jean says before clapping his arm on your shoulder and steering you out of the
lunchroom. “But, let’s get coffee after we check out our desks.”
Now arm and arm, the two of you continue walking down the hallway until you see a small
group of empty desks. There are four desks, formed in a quad, with small half-walls for
privacy in between them. You gasp when you notice a golden nameplate with your name on it
attached to the wall of one of the mini cubicles.

“Jean, we’re here!” you squeal, tugging him in the direction of the desks.

Just like the map said, your desk is next to the window while Jean’s is diagonally across from
yours. You both drop your things on your desks, setting your workstations up for the first
time. You hook up your company laptop, connecting it to your monitors, keyboard, and
mouse. You pull a small picture from your bag and set it up on your desk: a photo of you,
Jean, Connie, and Sasha from a trip you took together last year.

You take a seat in your desk chair, adjusting it until your feet are flat on the ground, then
adjusting the height of your desk appropriately.

“This is so cool!” you say, looking over at Jean as he does the same, but he adjusts his desk to
perfect standing height, towering down over you.

“This is sick,” he says excitedly, “Do you think they’ll let me get one of those desk
treadmills? I always see girls on Tiktok with them.”

“Yeah, they’re pretty cool, eh?” you hear from behind you. Whirling around in your chair,
you see Eren striding towards you, a coffee in each hand. He sits in the chair of the empty
desk next to yours and hands you a coffee. You notice it has the same logo as the one you saw
at the cafe in the lunchroom. “Got you a coffee, babe,” he says with a smile.

You take it from him happily, drunk on the feeling that The Eren Jaeger took the time to get
you a coffee. You squeeze his knee with one hand as he rolls closer to you, “Thanks, Eren.”

“I would’ve gotten one for you too if I knew you’d be here,” Eren says over the rim of his
drink at Jean. “My bad.” He doesn’t sound sorry.

Jean narrows his eyes down at Eren but he shrugs, coming around his desk into your area of
the cubicles. “I can grab my own.” He waves at you both before heading into the lunchroom,
leaving you and Eren alone at your desk.

“Cute setup,” Eren says as he looks at your desk. He’s wearing a well-fitted, dark grey suit
with a white dress shirt and a skinny black tie. When he leans into you, you can smell his
familiar vanilla cologne.

He points at the picture of you and your friends on the desk, “You’re gonna have to get one of
these of me.”

You laugh, gently squeezing his knee, “You want me to hang a picture of you at my desk?”

“Of course,” he says, resting his hand on your thigh and rubbing his thumb along the bottom
hem of your pencil skirt. “We’re friends, right?” he asks, eyebrow cocked.
Your heart lurches in your chest as he eyes you down, pulling you under his spell once again.
Despite what you said to Jean about your hook-up with Eren being a one-time thing, you
haven’t been able to stop thinking about your night with him. Would it be so bad if it wasn’t a
one-time thing?

You lean forward into him. “Are there benefits to being friends with Eren Jaeger?” you ask
quietly, your lips ghosting against the shell of his ear.

You feel the way Eren’s grip on you tightens when you say his name. “Oh, there’s a lot of
benefits to being friends with me,” he whispers, rolling forward in his chair until your thighs
are caged between his. His breath is hot on your neck and it makes your whole body shiver.
“Just say the word and I’ll bend you over right here,” he says, voice low.

“Do it,” you challenge as his fingers dip underneath your skirt, pressing hard into your thighs.
If you weren’t so horny, you might feel embarrassed by how hot and eager you are for him
after just a few touches and whispered words.

His grip tightens on your thigh as he exhales slowly, removing his hand from your leg and
leaning back against the backrest of the chair. “Don’t get me all worked up so early in the
day,” he says, smirking around a sip of his coffee.

You laugh, turning back toward your desk. He’s right, but the embarrassment of how
desperate you are for him makes you want to crawl in a hole. Eren Jaeger is like a siren, all it
takes is a few whispered words and you’re already hot and ready for him. The more you talk
with Eren, the more you realize that all the hype around him is not unfounded.

You look over at your workstation and admire your small, simple set up. It isn’t much yet, but
you are looking forward to decorating it further over time. “Is your desk pretty much the
same?” you ask, drinking from the coffee Eren gave you. He got you a vanilla latte, not your
drink of choice, but still appreciated.

“For the most part,” he says, resting his ankle against his thigh and spinning around in his
chair. “It’s darker over on the consulting side of the building. You guys get the morning sun,
and we get the afternoon.”

“Did you make any new friends yet?”

“Nah, I’m gonna try to make friends with some of the Seniors at the party tonight. There’s a
lot of alumni from the Paradis hockey team working here, so it’ll be easy to talk to them.”

You nod thoughtfully, “That’s a good idea.”

“I know,” he says, smirking.

You roll your eyes at him just as Jean returns with a coffee and a girl in tow. “Hey, look who I
found!” Jean says cheerfully, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

You feel your stomach sink into your stomach, recognizing the girl in front of you. “Oh,” you
say softly, “Hey.”
She gives you a small, tight-lipped smile in return. “Hey, it’s nice to see you again.”

She is beautiful with her long dark hair, a distinctive hooked nose, and sleepy, seductive eyes.
Standing next to Jean, she looks so small and delicate, especially as his arm hooks
protectively around her. You feel your stomach bubbling in jealousy and irritation as you look
up at her from your seat — of course she’s working here, too.

Pieck Finger: Jean’s ex-girlfriend.

***

The event starts out relatively tame. All of the new employees congregate in the boardroom
on the floor below the main office for a speech by the Regional Managing Partner, Erwin
Smith, separated by department — thank God. After a round of awkward introductions with
Pieck this morning and Jean falling over himself to talk to her, you’re happy to have some
peace. She works in consulting, so when the event started, she left with Eren.

“We at Titan are so happy that all of you have chosen to work here with us,” Erwin says. His
voice is loud and commanding, even without a microphone, as he holds up a glass of
champagne. “Here at Titan, we strive towards success through innovation and risk-taking. I
am excited to see how your bright, eager minds will take on the challenge.”

“Guy seems like a tool,” Jean whispers, leaning down to speak into your ear as the room
breaks out in applause.

“Jesus, Jean! That’s our boss,” you scold, hitting him against the chest.

He snickers but continues clapping with the rest of the employees as Erwin holds his glass up
even higher. “Tonight, we welcome you to the family. I hope that you all get a chance to
speak to your superiors and learn from the greatest. I encourage you all to have fun, and I
don’t forget to come in at 8 am on Monday. Cheers!”

The crowd repeats cheers! and everyone raises their glass, toasting to the Partner before
taking a sip.

You try to look around the room for more familiar faces, but with Jean and Reiner standing
next to you, you can hardly see around their broad frames.

After a few more speeches from a couple of the other Partners, they let you all free to wander
the floor and mingle with the other employees. You try to stick to Jean and Reiner as much as
you can, since you’re feeling nervous about being around so many unfamiliar faces, and meet
a few of the other new hires in the accounting division.

There are bartenders set up throughout the floor, so after you finish your champagne, you get
another drink with Jean from the bar. Jean and Reiner seem to know a lot of the other boys at
Titan because, as Eren said earlier, there are a lot of former Scouts working here. You try
your best to involve yourself in the conversations, even when they start rambling on about the
university hockey league.
There’s a photo station set up on the floor, where staff can have their photos taken by a
professional photographer, hired for the event. You’re not sure who suggests it, but all of the
boys run off to the photo station to get a picture together.

“Scouts photo! Scouts photo!” Reiner yells, already half-cut and it’s hardly even noon yet.

You watch as boys from all over the room rush to the photo, piling into the shot with arms
around one another as the photographer snaps some pictures. You even see Eren running into
the shot to join Jean for the photo, a rare moment of civility between the two boys.

“I wonder why there’s so many Scouts working here,” you say to yourself, bringing your
glass up to your lips to take a drink.

“Extracurriculars are a critical part of the application process for Titan,” says a deep voice
from next to you. You jump in surprise, turning to find the Regional Managing Partner, Erwin
Smith, standing next to you. “They demonstrate who you are outside of the classroom and
provide an opportunity to showcase your leadership skills and community involvement.”

“Of course,” you say quickly, nodding.

“I’m sure you had some extracurriculars on your application as well, Miss…?”

You tell him your name and he smiles broadly down at you, extending a hand for you to
shake.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, I remember your application.”

“Oh, really?” you ask in surprise. Titan hired hundreds of new employees every year, how
could Erwin possibly remember your application in a sea of others.

“Yes, I was particularly impressed with your community involvement.”

“Thank you, sir,” you say quickly, unable to maintain eye contact as his intense blue eyes
stare down at you.

He laughs, deep from his chest. “No need to be so polite. Please, just call me Erwin.”

“Of course, sir — Erwin, sir,” you say, fumbling over your words. This man beside you has
the power to make or break your career. You’re already buzzed from all of the alcohol this
morning and you’re trying to best to hold it together so you don’t make a complete fool of
yourself.

He laughs again, clasping a hand on your shoulder. His hand is so big and warm it completely
engulfs your shoulder. If he squeezes you hard enough, you think he might be able to break
you.

“I always love to meet the new hires,” he starts. “So fresh-faced and eager to join the team.
Whether it’s due to selfish reasons on wanting to further your own experience to move
elsewhere, or idealistically wanting to become Manager or Partner — you all have the same
shine in your eyes.”
He keeps his eyes fixed on the Scouts taking photos at the booth while you look up at him.
“At school, they neglect to teach you the realities of the workforce. Or maybe they do, but
you don’t listen,” he continues. “After just one month in, many employees start to feel
disillusioned and disheartened with their job. They may feel overwhelmed with the high
workload, the pressure to meet deadlines, and the intense attention to detail that is required in
their work.” Erwin pauses to take a sip of his champagne as you look up at him with rapt
attention. “They may feel like they’re not getting enough support from their colleagues or
superiors, and that they are expected to figure things out on their own. Many start to question
whether they made the right decision in taking this job in the first place.

“Some employees make it through their probation feeling like they’re barely keeping their
head above water. They may have received some feedback from their superiors that they
don’t quite measure up to expectations, and this may be demotivating.”

Erwin finally looks down at you, his grip tightening on your shoulder. His gaze is intense and
you want to cower away, but piercing blue eyes hold you in place. “Next are the ones that try
to give it a year. The ones who may have gotten into a routine, but feel that they are just
going through the motions, without any real opportunity for growth or advancement. After
that, we have the stragglers,” he continues. “The ones who have too much pride to admit
defeat. Even when their relationships crumble, their health deteriorates, and the quality of
their work falters.” He looks at you pointedly, “We reward these ones with a promotion:
Senior Accountant, after two years of service. For some, it’s enough.

“The ones that make it to manager have no semblance of a personal life outside of Titan.
They live and breathe Titan. Their coworkers are their closest friends, their partners, their
lovers — there’s no time to see anyone else. Titan fully consumes them.

“There is no such thing as an irreplaceable employee. If you’re not delivering results, if

you’re not driving profits, then you’re not fulfilling the most important role in the company.
This is the harsh truth that all employees must face — your mental health, your wellbeing,
your job satisfaction, all of these things may be important, but they’re not as important as the
company’s financial success,” he says. “I want you to remember that.”

“Ok,” you say quietly, unsure of what else to say.

He smiles at you approvingly, giving your shoulder a gentle squeeze before walking away.

You stand there in shock after he leaves you until Jean comes back to your side, waving his
hand in front of your face. “Hey, are you ok?”

“Yeah, I just had a weird conversation with Erwin,” you say, frowning as you look up at Jean.

“What did he say?”

You shake your head, “It doesn’t matter. How did the pictures go?”

“Really good,” he says grinning. “It’s so cool to meet some of the older Scouts. Do you need
another drink?”
He gestures to your now-empty glass and you look down to follow his gaze. You don’t
remember when you finished off your drink, but after your talk with Erwin, you definitely
need more alcohol.

“Yeah, let’s get another.”

***

You all but collapse into your desk chair, head dizzy and heavy from the alcohol. How much
did you drink? You feel like you’ve been drinking for hours — and you definitely have. After
the catered lunch, the drinks at the office started to flow more liberally. Champagne and shots
and drinking games everywhere you looked, you couldn’t walk two steps without being
approached by a waiter with a tray of sparking wine.

You learned about Titan’s “Buffalo” game, where you always had to drink out of your left
hand in order to keep your right hand free for handshakes. If you were caught drinking from
your right hand and someone called Buffalo on you, you had to finish your entire drink.

You had been called on a few times and were feeling the effects of it now, so you decided to
go upstairs to the floor with your cubicle so you could hide out and sober up for a bit. There
are a few people lingering around the floor, smaller groups having quieter drinks together.
Since the bar and all of the games are downstairs, you’re not surprised that there’s only a few
people up here.

“Hey, why’d you run off?”

Lifting your head from your hands you see Jean walking towards you. He settles himself in
the chair next to you, where Eren was sitting this morning.

Jean collapses into the chair, throwing his head off the backrest, with a heavy sigh. The dark
fabric of his suit strains against his muscular thighs, built from years of hockey. His white
dress shirt is stretched across his chest and you can see the bumps and ridges of the strong
muscles underneath through the thin fabric. The top few buttons of his dress shirt are undone
and his tie is loose, so you can see the glint of his golden chain resting against his
collarbones.

Although he is no longer playing hockey, Jean still takes incredible care of his body. You
always make sure to linger around the living room when he gets home from the gym, so you
can ogle at his sticky, sweaty body before he gets into the shower — you can’t help yourself.
Jean is tall and broad and lean with big veiny hands that send you into a frenzy. You wonder
what else Jean has that is big and veiny as your eyes scan down his body.

When Jean’s head flops forward to look at you, you have to quickly avert your eyes from his
crotch, staring instead at your keyboard.

“I just needed a break,” you say, realizing you left his question from earlier unanswered. “I
wasn’t really prepared to drink this much.”
“It’s fun though, right?” he hums, swirling the wine in his glass before taking a long sip.
“What do you think?”

“Everyone seems really cool, so far,” you say with a small smile. “I’m excited to start
working with everyone.”

“Meet anyone important yet?” he asks, handing you his wine glass to drink from. You take it
from him and take a small sip, revelling in the fact that your lips are on the same glass that
his were. An indirect kiss — you are pathetic.

“I talked with Erwin earlier and a few of the other Managers, but that’s about it.”

“That’s about it,” Jean repeats, laughing. “As if you didn’t chat up the Regional Managing
Partner of Titan.”

You roll your eyes. “It honestly was such a weird conversation. I think he was threatening
me.”

“At least you got to talk to him, your network is your net worth,” he says with a sigh as you
finish his glass. “I wonder how much overlap there is between the different departments.”

“Like tax and stuff?”

“Yeah,” he says, tapping his fingers against the armrest of his chair. “It would be cool if we
could work with everyone. Maybe accounting isn’t my calling. Maybe I want to transfer to
law.”

“I’m sure you’d be able to do that if you wanted,” you say, swirling the small drops of wine
still left in Jean’s glass. “Why, you’re already over it?”

He laughs, “No, I’m just wondering.”

“Do you think you would?” you ask, keeping your eyes low.

“We’ll see how the year goes and then maybe I’ll start thinking about it,” he says with a
shrug. “My dad has all these high hopes for me getting a cushy government job like him.
He’s not happy with me working here.”

You know Jean and his father have a strained relationship. He doesn’t say much about it,
even with Connie and Sasha, so when he does you always give him space to talk. You sit
quietly as he sighs, still tapping his fingers on the armrest.

“It sucks because he pressures me so much about it that I don’t even know what I want to do.
Do I even like accounting, or am I just doing it because of him?”

“Did you talk to any of the older Scouts?” you ask, finally looking up at him. “Maybe they
have some insight.”

“That’s actually a good idea,” Jean says with a nod of approval. “Look at me,” he laughs, “I
haven’t even done any real work and I’m already thinking about transferring departments.”
You laugh with him. “That’s not a good sign.”

“Feels weird that we’re not in school anymore,” he hums. “Like, we’re supposed to be adults
now, but I just feel like even more of a kid.”

“I wonder when that feeling goes away.”

“I wonder if it ever does.”

He breathes out sharply before clapping his hands loudly once. You look up at him and see
renewed vigor on his face.

“Ready to go back?” he asks, extending his hand out to you.

Honestly, you just want to sit here for the rest of the night and talk with him, but when Jean
looks over at you with hopeful eyes, you can’t help but take his hand. “Let’s go,” you say
with a smile.

On your way back to the conference room, you get called into the lunchroom by none other
than Eren Jaeger. “Guys, get over here!” he says when you walk by.

The two of you back step until you’re in the entrance of the lunchroom and see Eren, Pieck,
Reiner, and a few other new hires all sitting in the lunchroom with a few bottles of
champagne on the table. You join the group, pulling up chairs from another table to join
theirs, you and Jean nestling yourselves between Eren and Reiner.

“We’re playing a drinking game,” Eren says, throwing his arm over the backrest of your
chair. “Wanna join?”

“What is it?” you ask, not noticing any cards or dice on the table.

“Truth or dare,” he says with a glint in his eyes.

“Sounds fun,” Jean says, pouring some champagne into his empty wine glass, “Count us in.”
 Truth or Dare (e)
Chapter Notes

🙊
I feel like there's been a lot of Eren these first few chapters, but don't worry Team Jean!

CW: Alcohol, explicit language, explicit sexual content (fingering, vaginal sex,
unprotected, creampie, dirty talk)

“Alright, you first, Jean. Truth or dare?” Eren asks, leaning past you to get closer to Jean.

Jean swirls his drink around in his cup for a moment before responding, “Dare.”

“I dare you to baby bird someone in the circle,” Eren says without missing a beat. Everyone
in the room erupts in laughter at the prompt as Jean groans in defeat.

“Had to go with that one right off the bat, didn’t you?” he sighs before looking around the
room for his target, eyes finally settling on yours. “Can I?” he asks, a blush growing across
his cheeks.

You swallow back your nervousness but nod as Eren leans back into his chair. “Nice choice, I
would’ve picked our girl too,” he says.

Jean takes a mouthful of champagne, standing up so he’s towering over you. He tilts your
chin with two fingers until your face is completely tilted up towards him. You open your
mouth slowly as he leans forward into you, spitting the champagne into your mouth.

You close your mouth after the last few drops, swallowing the mouthful as your eyes fix on
Jean’s face. His cheeks are tinged pink as he looks down at you and he softly brushes his
thumb across your lips, wiping off the drops that missed your mouth. Looking into your eyes,
Jean swallows thickly, too, before he moves away and sits back down in his seat to the
hooting and hollering of the others in the room.

“Spicy!” Pieck cheers, giggling with the girl next to her, but you catch the way her eyes
harden when she looks at you. You see Jean’s face darken in embarrassment.

“My turn, right?” he asks, looking over at Eren who nods back. “Ok, Reiner, truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Have you ever jerked off thinking about someone in the circle?” Jean asks mischievously
and Reiner cries out in outrage.
“I’m not answering that!” he yells, face turning dark red.

Eren hoots, slamming his fist down on the table in excitement. “If you don’t answer you gotta
finish your drink!”

Reiner takes a long look at the full glass of champagne in his hand, pausing for a beat, before
downing it completely.

Everyone in the group erupts in laughter and cheers as people chat amongst themselves about
why Reiner won’t answer the question.

“That’s not even that embarrassing,” Eren laughs, giving Jean a light punch on the shoulder
in approval. “Nice one, man.”

Jean smiles at him for a second, but you watch as his eyes trail over Eren’s arm settled on the
back of your chair, and his smile turns into a scowl. “Yeah, whatever,” he says, scoffing.

“Ok, my turn!” Reiner slurs, slamming his glass back down on the table after finishing it.
“Mina, truth or dare?”

The girl sitting next to Pieck perks up, looking over at Pieck hesitantly for guidance before
looking back to Reiner. “I’ll do truth,” she says shyly.

“What’s your favourite sex position?”

Mina flushes red at the question as everyone hollers. The curly-haired Senior Consultant that
you recognize from reception on your first day, rolls his eyes, mumbling, “You kids are all so
horny.”

“I like it when I’m on top,” she says quietly.

“Sorry, Mina, I didn’t quite hear you,” Eren taunts, cupping his hand around his ear and
leaning forward. “Can you say that again, louder?”

“I said, I like it when I’m on top!” she says, voice raising in pitch as she yells, scrunching her
eyes shut in embarrassment. “Oh my God, I can’t believe you guys,” she says, fanning her
face with her hands to calm down her blush.

“Ok, come on, next person!” you say with excitement as the alcohol buzzes at your
fingertips. Jean passes you his glass of champagne to drink but you look over and shake your
head, you’re already pretty drunk. If you have any more you might black out or pass out or
puke — you have to be careful about monitoring your intake so you don’t do something
stupid at work.

“Eren, truth or dare—?”

“Dare,” Mina hardly finishes her question before Eren answers. “Give me something good,
Mina.”
She looks over at Pieck for help and the two of them whisper amongst each other for a
moment before Mina pulls away, giggling. “I dare you to transfer an ice cube from your
mouth into someone else’s.”

He smirks. “Sure, does anyone have an ice cube?”

Reiner gets up and goes to the fridges at the back of the lunchroom, using the ice dispenser to
grab a handful of ice to bring back to the group. Meanwhile, Eren pulls your chair closer to
his until your thighs are touching.

Eren takes an ice cube from Reiner’s hand and pops it into his mouth. He grabs your chin and
turns your face toward his while you look up at him in surprise. “Open up,” he says around
the ice cube.

You reach up and cup his face with both hands, leaning forward until your mouths are
pressed together. His lips are cold from the ice as you softly move against him. It must be
melting quickly because you can feel the cold water spilling from the sides of Eren’s mouth
as his tongue slides against your lips. You smile into the kiss and you part your lips for him,
letting him push the cube into your mouth with his tongue.

The ice is cold in contrast with his warm tongue as he pulls you deeper into him, gripping the
back of your head and keeping you close despite having accomplished the dare. The weight
of the cube is heavy on your tongue as you slide it past your lips and back into Eren’s mouth.

You can feel the way his lips tighten and the corners of his mouth turn up in a smile before he
pushes it back to you, chasing after it with his tongue as he explores your mouth. The kiss is
cold and wet but your body is burning hot.

You push the ice cube back and forth between your mouths like a wet game of pass until it
melts into nothing.

“Wow, that was hot,” Reiner says, eyes wide as you and Eren pull away from one another to
wipe the dripping water from your chins.

So much for not doing something stupid at work.

You duck your head in embarrassment as Eren kisses your neck, his lips still cool from the
ice. “Where’s the ice cube, Eren?” Pieck taunts, her nose scrunching in mischief.

“Oh shit,” he says in mock surprise. “I guess we’ll have to do it again.”

He reaches out to grab another ice cube from the cup in the center of the table, but Jean
snatches it out of his grasp. “I think that’s enough,” he snaps.

Eren rolls his eyes at Jean before turning his attention back to you, “Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” you respond hesitantly. You know it’s a bad idea to give Eren this kind of power
when he’s looking at you like this, his deep green eyes glinting with mischief, but you can’t
help yourself.
“I dare you to unzip my pants with your teeth.”

You close your eyes in embarrassment as the group cheers again. You knew it was a mistake
to choose dare.

“Are you really going to get naked at work?” Jean asks, annoyed.

“Live a little,” Eren responds, catching your gaze when your eyes open again. “Everyone’s
downstairs, nobody is going to see.”

His words feel more like he’s trying to reassure you than Jean and you give him a small nod
in response. “Ok, back up a little.”

A devilish smirk grows across his face as he wheels back in his chair. He laces his hands
together behind the back of his head and spreads his legs open for you as you slide off your
chair and onto your knees in front of him.

“You don’t have to do this,” Jean says, grabbing your arm and pulling your attention away
from Eren’s crotch.

“It’s ok, it’s just for fun,” you say, feeling saliva build in your mouth.

“Don’t be a buzzkill,” Reiner says, hitting Jean in the chest with the back of his hand.

Jean frowns, looking between you and Eren before letting go of your arm and leaning back in
his chair, crossing his arms over his chest in disapproval as the rest of the group cheers you
on.

You rest each of your hands on Eren’s thighs, leaning forward into his crotch to grab the hard
metal of his zipper with your teeth. Once you get purchase on it between your teeth, you look
up at him as you slowly drag it down.

Eren’s devilish smirk changes into a lustful stare, grunting above you as you pull the metal
down across his cock. You can feel him twitching underneath you as you look up at him with
an unwavering stare, watching as the skin on his neck and cheek darkens.

By the time you pull his zipper down the base, you can feel his thighs tensing under your
hands and his hands have moved down from behind his head, to instead, hover over your
forearms. You can tell he wants to grab you, but his gaze keeps darting back up to the crowd
around you both, and he has to hold himself back.

When you let go of the zipper, you press a quick, soft kiss into his semi-hard cock (hearing
Eren groan from the back of his throat, much to your delight) before standing back up and
returning to your seat next to Jean.

Eren rolls his chair forward to sit next to you and grips your knee hard under the table. “That
was so fucking hot,” he hisses into your ear as the group laughs.

Everyone takes turns choosing people for the game and the questions and dares get racier and
racier after the ice cube dare and Eren’s subsequent zipper dare. By the time your group has
finished all of the champagne, everyone is either half-dressed or sitting in someone’s lap —
or both.

“What if we get caught like this?” Mina asks, giggling into her glass as she squirms in the
Senior Consultant’s lap.

“It’s ok, we’ll just blame it on Oluo. He’s the senior,” Peick says, cheers-ing her glass toward
him as she struggles to cover her breasts with her arm.

He blushes and waves his hands in front of his face in dismissal, fingers digging into the soft
skin on Mina’s waist. “No way, we’re all taking the blame for this. But it’s not like anyone's
gonna come up here when there’s free booze in the conference room.” He glances at his
watch briefly, “Actually, the bus is going to be leaving for the bar pretty soon, we’re going to
have to wrap this up.”

“We’re going to a bar?” you ask.

“Well, it doesn't look like you two will,” Reiner says, gesturing to your position on Eren with
a laugh.

At some point in the game, you were dared to sit in Eren’s lap. You don’t remember now who
was the one that dared you to do it, but since then Eren’s hands have been roaming all over
your body, taking this opportunity to grope you until your heart is stuttering in your chest.
You know you should be embarrassed by having Eren’s hands kneading your breasts through
your shirt in front of your new coworkers, but the buzz of the alcohol is dulling your
inhibitions.

Besides, Jean hasn’t looked your way since you crawled into Eren’s lap and you can see him
pouting in his chair from the corner of your eye.

You blush, hiding your face into Eren’s neck as he tugs you closer on his lap, “Hey, what
happens in the lunchroom, stays in the lunchroom,” he says, trailing sloppy kisses along your
neck.

Shrieking in embarrassment, you push his face away, still balancing precariously on his lap,
“Eren!” you hiss but it only seems to egg him on further.

Jean rolls his eyes at your antics before asking, “Alright, whose turn is it?”

“My turn!” Mina says, raising a hand. She immediately turns to face Pieck, squirming in
Oluo’s lap as his face blanks. “Truth or dare.”

Pieck thinks about it for a moment, tapping her chin with one hand while the other tries to
cover her chest from the group. She still has a bra on, so all she’s doing is pushing up her
boobs even more to show off her cleavage. You can’t help but roll your eyes at her.

“Truth,” she says finally.

You and Eren boo loudly. “Boring!” he says, his hand gripping you higher on the thigh under
the table, obscured from everyone but Jean. “Our last one and you go with truth?” Eren
heckles as his thumb rubs circles into your inner thigh, causing your breath to catch in your
throat.

Pieck blushes but sticks to her decision, unfazed by peer pressure. “Who here do you think is
the hottest?” Mina asks.

She giggles, looking over every boy in the group, her eyes trailing up and down each body as
she does. You cross your arms, annoyed as she spends extra attention on Jean’s chest,
partially exposed from his half-buttoned shirt. “You have to hurry up, we need to go soon,”
you say.

“Ok, ok, sorry!” she says. “I think… Jean is the hottest!” she points at him from across the
table and you watch as Jean’s face lights up at her words.

Mina claps a hand over her mouth to hold back her laughter as she and Pieck fall into each
other from giggles. “This doesn’t leave this room!” Pieck shrieks, her entire body turning
pink from her blush. “What happens in the lunchroom, stays in the lunchroom,” she says,
looking over at Reiner.

“Of course,” Eren says. “Your secret is safe with us.”

You’re annoyed. Very annoyed. Of all the guys in the room she just had to pick Jean, didn’t
she? Wasn’t she the one that dumped him? And now she’s toying with him by pressing her
tits up in his face and telling everyone at the office that she thinks he’s the hottest. You hope
that Jean can see that she’s just playing with him for attention.

Eren grabs at your thigh, snapping you out of your rage and you notice everyone around you
is pulling back on their clothes. “Come on, let’s go,” he says.

You nod, trying to calm down as you adjust your clothing back on while everyone excitedly
talks about the bus to the bar. After Pieck’s comment, you don’t really feel like hanging out
with her anymore tonight. You just want to go home with Jean and relax.

“I don’t think I wanna go,” you say to Jean as he does up his tie.

“You don’t wanna come? Why not?” he pouts and you almost change your mind, but when
Pieck comes over and links arms with him, you bite your tongue. Her blouse is half-buttoned,
tits spilling from the top of her bra. You watch as Jean’s eyes fall downwards to her chest
before darting back up to your face, a pink tinge coating his cheeks.

“Oh, come on! You have to come!” she whines, pouting up at you as she tugs on Jean’s arm.
“We’re having so much fun together!”

She’s so fake and manipulative. This is the most you and Pieck have ever spoken to one
another and now all of a sudden, she’s acting like the two of you are best friends. Despite her
pouting and whining, you can see how she grips Jean’s arm tightly against her chest, eyes
narrowing at you.
You only met Pieck once when she was dating Jean, and even from that small interaction you
knew the two of you would never get along. Especially not after finding out that Pieck
cheated on Jean when the two of them were together -- you’re honestly surprised that Jean is
treating her as kindly as he is, after what she did to him.

“Right,” you say, hiding your grimace behind a cough. “I’m feeling pretty tired, I think I’m
just going to call a cab.” You look up at Jean expectantly, hoping he’ll brush Pieck off and
return home with you. “I’m thinking about making some grilled cheeses back home.”

Jean groans, eyes lighting up. “That sounds so good right now.”

Oluo pulls a stack of taxi vouchers from the pocket of his suit jacket, handing you two.
“Here, use these. One to get home and the other to get back to the office for your car.”

You smile but only grab one, “I don’t have a car, I usually just carpool with Jean.”

Jean grabs the second taxi voucher and puts it into his wallet. He has a dark pink blush across
the tops of his cheek and down his neck and you’re not sure if it’s from the alcohol or Pieck.
“I’ll take two, Oluo,” he says and Oluo tears off a second.

You feel a little disappointed knowing that Jean is still going to the bar, and part of you is
tempted to stay behind, too. But seeing the way that Pieck giggles and twirls her hair,
teasingly grabbing one of the vouchers from Jean’s hand, makes you feel nauseous.

“I’m just going to go to the bathroom and then I’ll head out,” you say to no one in particular,
eyes focused on the floor. “You guys have fun!”

You walk with everyone to reception, breaking off at the elevators so you can walk down the
hallway to the bathrooms. You just need a moment to pull yourself together before leaving.

It’s bad enough that you’re stuck working with Pieck, but now that she’s throwing herself all
over Jean, you feel even worse. To your knowledge, Jean hasn’t spoken to her since the two
of them broke up, but they’ve been acting like best friends since the moment she came back
into his life.

But, Jean’s a good guy. Even if they ended things on bad terms, you know that Jean would
never be rude or cruel to her. He liked her a lot, so you shouldn’t be surprised that the two of
them are rekindling their friendship after all this time.

Liked, right? There’s no way Jean still has feelings for her… right?

“You good, babe?” you hear from the doorway, startling you. You had been staring at
yourself in the mirror in silence.

“Eren,” you say, “Yeah, I’m good.”

“You don’t seem good,” he says, leaning on the counter next to you as you wash your hands.

“You should go, you’re going to miss the bus,” you say.
“I just want to make sure you’re ok, first.”

“I’m fine,” you respond sharper than you intend and instantly regret it when you look up at
Eren’s pained face. “Sorry, I’m just tired,” you say, leaning forward into him.

Placing both hands on his chest, you allow him to wrap his arms around you. He leans his
head down into your neck, holding you tightly as you sigh against him.

“You seemed kind of off after the game. Are you sure you’re able to get home ok—”

You don’t let him finish, cutting him off by pressing your lips against his.

He stills at first, but when you slide your tongue against his lower lip he returns your kiss
with renewed intensity. Clutching hard at your body as he pulls you closer against his chest,
you reach one hand up to tangle in his hair and press his mouth harder against yours.

You’re not sure what’s come over you all of a sudden. Not even thirty seconds ago you were
fuming at the sight of Jean and Pieck together, and now here you are with your tongue down
Eren’s throat.

This is just a distraction — a way to get your mind off the fact that for once Jean isn’t giving
you attention. That he’s touching and flirting and blushing around another girl. This is just
like that girl from the bar last weekend, except Jean and Pieck have history together — and
that scares you.

Eren groans into your mouth and you can feel him hardening from the confines of his work
pants. “Hey, you can’t work me up like this before I go,” he says regretfully, pulling away.

“You’re not going anywhere until I’m done with you,” you hum, hands trailing down his
body before beginning to work on his belt.

He hisses, grabbing your thighs and lifting you up onto the counter so he can stand between
your legs as you undo his belt. “Right here? Now?” You can see the lust in his eyes, but the
shake in his hands as they paw at your thighs reveals his hesitation.

“Didn’t you say there were benefits to being your friend?” you whisper, pulling open his
zipper and palming at his cock through the thin fabric of his underwear. “I wanna cash in on
one of those benefits,” you say, smirking up at him as his hands grip your thighs tighter.

“You’re drunk,” he says, looking into your eyes.

“I’m not,” you assure. “I stopped drinking during the game. I’m just tipsy.”

“I don’t have a condom,” he says, leaning down to kiss your neck.

“It’s ok,” you say, working on unbuttoning his dress shirt to feel his bare skin. “I’m on birth
control, you can cum inside me.”

He groans, fingers digging hard into your skin, all resolve crumbling. “Yeah, baby? Is that
what you want?”
“Yes, Eren,” you whine, running your hands down his chest and feeling his stomach tighten
under your touch.

He grabs your face with one of his hands, squeezing your cheeks tightly until your mouth
pops open. “Look at you — you got so worked up playing that game, eh?”

From the way Eren’s holding you, you can only whimper in response, looking up at his lust-
darkened eyes. You grab at his waist, pulling his body tight against yours until you can feel
the firmness of his cock in his pants. Eren releases his grip on your face to slide his hand
down around your throat, watching you pant and writhe beneath him as the cool metal of his
rings presses into your skin.

“Please,” you whimper and he smirks.

“Please, what? Come on, baby, be a good girl and use your words for me.”

You swallow loudly, your throat bobbing against Eren’s hand, and bite your lip as you run
your nails up and down Eren’s body. “I want you to cum inside of me, Eren.”

“You’re incredible,” he says, voice low and husky as he hikes your skirt up around your
waist. “I’m not going to last long,” he admits as you pull his cock free from his underwear,
hard and leaking precum. “You’re so hot.”

He grabs at the seam of your tights with both hands, and you watch the tendons in his
forearms flexing before he rips them open at the crotch. You squeal in delight, feeling a
burning inferno growing in your core from the action, biting your lip as he tears at your tights
until he can palm at your crotch.

“Eren,” you gasp, “My tights!”

“Shut up, you liked it,” he says, eyes darting up to look at you mischievously as his chest
heaves in arousal.

He’s right, you are all worked up from the game. Between all of the sexual dares and the
alcohol, your underwear is already soaked with arousal. Eren looks just as undone as you are
and you are suddenly very grateful that he came to check up on you.

Eren pushes your underwear to the side and starts playing with your folds, fingers brushing
up and down and swirling around your clit. He slides in a single finger, pumping it lightly to
pull more of your wetness out as he groans at the feeling of you squeezing around him. “So
wet already,” he says, sliding in a second finger and curling them both inside of you, just the
way you like it.

You cry out in pleasure, wrapping a hand around Eren’s tie to pull his mouth against yours as
the other strokes along his cock. “Eren, hurry,” you gasp, your mouths messily moving
against each other from your desperation for each other’s bodies.

“Hurry?” Eren laughs. “Now you’re getting nervous? After you just begged for me to cum
inside of you?”
Removing his fingers, you help guide his cock to your entrance, sliding it between your folds
to collect some wetness on his head before he slips himself slowly into you. The stretch and
burn as he pushes into you causes you to cry out and Eren’s hips still against you instantly.

“You ok?”

“Fuck me, Eren, please.”

His hands dig hard into your waist as his hips move slowly against yours, shifting his
position until each thrust has you crying out and clutching at his shirt and tie. Having him
fuck you bare like this feels so much better than the other day with the condom. You can feel
the warmth from his cock as every ridge and vein slide against the tight walls of your cunt. It
feels incredible and you’re already so close.

He brings one hand up from your waist to cover your mouth. “Shut the fuck up,” he growls as
he fucks into you. “Someone’s going to hear you screaming for me.”

Your legs wrap around his hips for stability as one hand presses into the countertop behind
you. Eren whines into your neck as you pull his tie closer into your body, he grinds his hips
into yours, fucking you deep and stimulating your clit with his pelvis as he ruts into you. You
kick your heels off behind him and they fall to the floor with a clatter as you use your feet to
pull him even closer to you, moaning and whimpering into his hand as he fucks you.

“God, you’re such a needy girl,” he growls into your neck. “Begging for my cum at work?
You’re so fucking good to me. I’ll give you what you want, baby. I’ll fill this pretty pussy up
with my cum.”

You feel lightheaded as a coil tightens in your core from the stimulation. You clench around
him with every lewd comment Eren whispers into your ear, squeezing him like a vice as he
fucks you. You think you could get off just by hearing his voice, listening to him moan into
your ear about how dirty you are for him.

Eren’s thrusts start to build up in speed as you squeeze around him. “Baby, please,” he
whines, breathless. “Cum for me — you feel so fuckin' good — you’re gonna make me cum
with this sweet, little pussy.” You pull him tighter into your chest with his tie as he pounds
into you and you’re certain that you’re so wet for him that you’re spilling out onto the
countertop.

You whimper into his hand, looking up at his face to see his fucked out, desperate expression.
Sweat rolls down into the collar of his shirt as wet strands of hair cling to his neck. It doesn’t
take long before you feel the familiar snap of the coil in your core and your body starts
shaking and trembling in his arms.

You keep your eyes on him, feeling dizzy as the waves of pleasure overtake you and you
flutter around his cock. If not for Eren’s hand on your mouth, you would be chanting out his
name in pleasure.

Eren opens his mouth like he wants to say something, but then his hips stutter against you
and he groans instead. You can feel his cock twitching inside of you as he empties his balls
into your tight heat with a throaty moan.

He keeps fucking you until you stop shaking and his cock stops twitching. You can feel his
cum spilling from inside of you with each slow, lazy thrust of his hips as he comes down
from his orgasm.

Eren removes his hand from your mouth, settling both hands onto the counter as you both
catch your breath. You release your grip from his tie and rest both hands on the counter, next
to his. He presses his sweaty forehead onto your shoulder, taking huge gulps of air as he
struggles to even his breathing.

“You’re a freak,” he says, his voice just a breathy whisper in between his panting. “That was
so risky.”

So much for not doing something stupid at work.

“I just needed you,” you say, stroking the back of his head gently until he pulls away.

He looks into your eyes, scanning your expression for a moment before leaning into you for a
soft kiss, just your lips pressing against each other, still exhausted. When he pulls away he
removes himself from inside of you, grabbing his pants around his hips to do them back up.

You shift your underwear over to cover yourself and prevent Eren’s cum from leaking down
your thigh when you jump off the counter. Your legs are still a little shaky, but you manage to
keep your balance with a little help from Eren and pull your skirt down over your ass.
Looking into the mirror to freshen up your appearance, you’re grateful that the rip in your
tights isn’t visible from the length of your skirt, despite the cool air on your inner thighs. The
two of you adjust yourselves in the mirror: you trying to wipe the smeared mascara from
under your eyes and Eren trying to smooth out the wrinkles in his tie.

So much for this being a one-time thing.

As you fix your appearance in the reflection of the mirror, you think back to the game from
earlier this evening and how Jean’s demeanor immediately changed when you and Eren
started cozying up to one another. Earlier this week, you were so worried that Jean would
hate you after you slept with Eren — and he kind of did, for a few hours — but now, it almost
seems like he’s jealous.

You vividly remember the way that Jean snatched the cup of ice away from Eren so that he
couldn’t kiss you again, and the way he pleaded for you not to do Eren’s dare on your knees.
The thought makes you flush in embarrassment, but you also feel a spark of excitement.

Was the plan working? Was Jean jealous of how affectionate you were with Eren?

You glance over at Eren from the corner of your eye, watching as he smooths out the
wrinkles in his tie and fixes loose strands of his hair. Maybe it’s just the post-sex endorphins,
but Eren is hot, you can see that clearly now.
His eyes catch yours in the mirror and you quickly look away, feeling your face burning in
embarrassment and your hands shake while you smooth down your hair. Despite your
intimacy, Eren still makes you nervous when he looks at you.

He’s hot, kind, respectful, smart… Would it be so bad if the two of you kept doing this —
kept… hooking up?

Just for the sake of making Jean jealous, of course. Jean is still your priority, regardless of
how Eren makes you feel.

“Can I ask you something stupid?” you ask, keeping your eyes on your reflection in the
mirror.

He glances over at you for a beat before returning his gaze to himself as he fixes his
appearance. “Sure, what’s up?”

“Do you want to… keep doing this?”

“What, fucking?”

You’re not sure why you suddenly feel so shy next to Eren when his cum is pooling in your
panties, but you struggle to match his gaze when he turns toward you. “Yeah. I mean, it’s fun,
right?”

“Right,” he confirms, nodding. “I don’t do relationships.”

“That’s not what I want,” you say quickly. “Just something casual but… maybe exclusive?”

“Casual, but exclusive,” he coos and you can see him smirking in the reflection of the mirror.

“That way we don’t need to use condoms,” you explain, but your face is hot. Eren won’t stop
staring at you and it’s making you uncomfortable. “Does that work?”

“What’s this really about?” he asks.

You squeeze your eyes shut in embarrassment, hoping that if you do so it’ll be easier for you
to talk to him. “I have feelings for Jean,” you explain.

Eren scoffs, “This is a really weird way of showing it.”

“I’m hoping that if you and I keep hooking up with each other, then he’ll get jealous and
maybe confess his feelings for me.”

“That’s a stupid fucking idea.” You open your eyes and look up at him, frowning. He’s still
smirking down at you, amused with your plan. “But I’m happy to keep hooking up with you
if it means pissing him off.”

“Thanks,” you huff, turning away from him. “I think it’ll work.”

“I don’t do relationships, so don’t get your hopes up for anything serious with me.”
“You already said that,” you say, annoyed. “I’m not going to fall in love with you, jeez,
you’re so stuck up.”

He laughs, “Hey, don’t worry, you wouldn’t be the first fuck buddy to fall in love with me.”

“I like Jean,” you repeat and look up at him sternly. “I’m only using you for sex and to make
him jealous, there’s nothing else going on here.”

“Ok,” he hums, reaching into the pocket of his pants to pull out his phone. He scrolls through
some messages and types out a quick response as you work on smoothing down your hair and
fixing your makeup until it’s good enough for the cab right home.

“Ok, I’m heading out to the party bus. You sure you don’t wanna come?”

“I’m sure,” you say with a heavy sigh. “I don’t want to be around Jean and Pieck right now.”

“Right, the ex,” he says pointedly, stuffing his phone back into his pocket. “Wow, this will be
fun — the four of us all working together and fucking each other.”

You frown, “Jean’s not going to fuck Pieck. He’s over her.”

“Right,” Eren says with a condescending smile. “Exclusive fuck buddies, then,” he says,
extending out a pinkie.

You lock your pinkie with him, sealing your informal arrangement with a pinkie swear. Eren
pulls your hand up to his mouth, gently pressing your knuckles against his lips. “You good
now, babe?”

You roll your eyes but you can’t help a smile from growing on your face. “I appreciate you
checking in.”

“I’m gonna do it a hell of a lot more if this is how you thank me,” he laughs, slapping your
ass. You squeal from his smack, jumping forward into his chest as he wraps his other arm
around your shoulders.

“I really do have to go, though,” he says, kissing the top of your head. “My phones been
blowing up, I think the bus is leaving soon.”

He pulls away from you completely and starts walking to the door. He pushes it open but
before leaving, he gives you one final once-over, winking when his eyes trail back up to your
face before he finally walks out of the bathroom.

Smiling to yourself, you pull out your phone to dial the number for a taxi. Before you do, you
look down at a photo of you, Jean, Connie, and Sasha on the lock screen of your phone, it
was taken from the day you first met the guys at the Scouts’ Halloween Party.

You try to ignore the pang in your chest when you see Jean’s face, wondering if he'll have fun
with Pieck at the bar tonight.
 Halloween
Chapter Notes

Credit to Reddit users lawjr3 and Baby-Got-Books-1989 for the embarrassing stories
told in this chapter!

CW: Alcohol, explicit language, minor mention of bodily harm and blood

“Are you sure we made enough?”

“Um,” Sasha looked down into the cooler, filled with different coloured Jell-o shots. She
gave it a little kick and giggled as they all jiggled inside. “Yeah, I think that’s loads.”

“I can’t believe you talked me into helping you with this. I don’t even know these people,”
you huffed in mock annoyance, crossing your arms over your chest as Sasha closed the lid.

She waved her hand in dismissal before picking up the cooler. “Don’t worry, I told you,
you’re going to like everyone! Just trust me, ok?” You held open the dorm door for her so
Sasha could walk out, locking the door behind you before trailing after her to her car. “The
boys are going to love you! Especially in that cute little costume of yours.”

You were dressed in a pair of black leather pants, an off-the-shoulder black crop top, red high
heels, and bright red lipstick: Sandy from Grease. When Sasha invited you to the Scouts’
Halloween Party (last minute, too), you rushed out to the store to find a low-effort, sexy
costume. It would be your first time meeting a lot of these guys, so you wanted to make sure
you gave off a good impression.

“Are any of your friends single?” you asked, hopeful.

“Most of them.”

“Ooo, red flag, never mind,” you said with a grimace. “I don’t know why I expected hockey
players to be anything but fuckboys.”

Sasha laughed, “No, no, don’t get me wrong, they’re all really cool guys. The only one you
really need to look out for is Eren.”

“Eren Jaeger?” The star player of the team? Sasha was friends with him?

“He’s definitely going to hit on you, but watch out because he’s kind of a fuckboy,” she said,
looking back over her shoulder at you. “I’m not even really friends with him, I only know
him through Jean and Armin.”
“Who are those guys again?”

Sasha tried to debrief you on everyone you would see at the party tonight while the two of
you made Jell-o shots. She knew many of the Scouts and their friends through high school, so
she had been to a lot of these parties in the past. You, on the other hand, had only just
transferred to Paradis University, so you didn’t know anyone.

You were grateful that you ended up sitting next to Sasha in class on Friday. If you hadn’t,
she wouldn’t have invited you to this party. You were already having a hard time adjusting to
the workload of your new school, so it was difficult for you to find time to make friends. This
party was a perfect opportunity to meet some new people.

“Ugh, don’t worry, you’ll meet them all soon anyway,” she said, stepping aside for you to
open up the backseat of her car for her. She sat the cooler down in the backseat, pulled the
seatbelt across it, and clipped it into place.

“Do you think that’s really going to work?” you asked, sliding into the passenger seat as she
went around to the driver’s side.

“I’ll try to drive carefully,” she said with a shrug before pulling out of her spot and down the
road.

“So,” she said, speaking over the music pounding through the speakers of her car, “Are you
looking for a boyfriend? Is that why you keep asking me about my friends?”

You shrugged, “I don’t know. New school, new boys… I’m just looking to have some fun.”

She grinned, “Ooh! Well, I honestly don’t know if I would recommend any of my friends,
they’re all weirdos.”

“That’s ok, there will be lots of other guys at the party. I’m sure I’ll meet someone cool.”

“Totally,” she looked over at you in the passenger seat with a wide grin. “These parties get so
rowdy sometimes. Frats aren’t allowed at our school, but Floch, Daz, and Samuel rented this
place off-campus and have been hosting parties there every weekend. They call themselves
Devils.”

“That’s so cringe,” you said, grimacing. “Who are those guys again?”

“Doesn’t matter — don’t talk to them,” she said, shaking her head and causing the antler
headband she had on to scrape against the roof of the car. “If those guys try to talk to you,
just run. They’re on the No Go List.”

You groaned, “How am I going to remember all of this, Sasha? You’ve told me like a
hundred names.”

“You’ll figure it out, I have faith in you,” she said, grinning. “Just try and get a good vibe-
check before you go home with anyone.”

***
When you and Sasha arrived at the house, there were already cars parked all along the street.
Sasha had to do a couple of laps around the block before she was able to find a spot that she
deemed close enough for the walk with the cooler. The two of you carried it together with
each of you gripping one of the handles as you walked down the road to what looked like a
frat house.

You could feel the bass from the music through the ground and some of the bedrooms
upstairs were flashing colourful lights. Between all of the cars parked on the street and the
booming music, you felt bad for the other people living on this street next to the obvious
party house.

Your heart raced in your chest as the two of you approached the front door. Before coming to
Paradis, you went to parties all the time with your friends, but back home you had a group of
friends that you felt comfortable with. Here, at Paradis, you just had Sasha.

When you walked through the front door, you were greeted by a childishly made banner
across the main entrance with the words, Welcome to Hell’s Gate haphazardly written on it.
Glancing over at Sasha, you saw her rolling her eyes, “See, I told you, they’re the worst.”

After kicking off your shoes into the pile in the main entrance, Sasha led you through the
house and the crowd of people to the back deck, sliding the door open so you and her could
set down the cooler in the snow outside.

“They should be ok here, right?” she asked, grabbing a handful of shots before sliding the
door closed.

“Hard alcohol doesn’t freeze, I think,” you said, taking a shot from her hand.

She smiled and nodded. “Ok, cool. I’m going to hand some of these out, you wait here.”

Before you could protest, Sasha disappeared into the crowd and you were left alone in the
empty kitchen next to the door to the back deck. “Sasha, what the fuck,” you grumbled,
annoyed that your new friend had already abandoned you.

You flipped off the cap to your shot and swirled your finger around the cup to loosen the Jell-
o, before tipping it into your mouth. You swallowed thickly with a frown and a grumble,
“Yikes, too much vodka.”

“Can I have one of those?”

You were startled by a voice from behind you and you whirled around quickly to find
yourself face-to-face with someone’s chest. Slowly looking up from the white t-shirt
stretched across broad shoulders, you finally meet the voice’s face.

“What?” you said dumbly.

“I said, can I have one of those?” The man with slicked-back ash-brown hair gestured to the
now-empty Jell-o shot in your hand. You could see the pink flush of alcohol in his cheeks as
he smiled down at you in amusement while you blinked up at him, dazed.
“Um, yeah, sure,” you said, sliding open the door and bending down to reach into the cooler.
You were grateful for the opportunity to hide from his intense gaze as you calmed your
pounding heart, but you made sure to intentionally hinge at the hip to show off your ass to
this super cute guy. “What flavour do you want?”

“What do you have?” You could feel the heat from his body as he stood behind you, resting
both hands on the frame of the door and leaning over your body to look into the cooler.

“Cherry, lemon, lime, and berry blue,” you said, pointing at each of the different colours in
the cooler.

“I’ll take cherry,” he said, reaching past you into the cooler to grab his own shot.

His body was fully pressed up against yours as he bent into the cooler, the leather of his
jacket brushing against your bare arm. You felt tiny compared to his long limbs and
incredible reach and you needed to grip the sides of the cooler to steady yourself.

This man was bold, you had only just met him and he was already all over you. You needed
to get his name to make sure he wasn’t one of the guys on Sasha’s No Go List — but even if
he was, you didn’t care. He was too hot for you to turn away.

You grabbed yourself a shot and stood up alongside him, sliding the door shut behind you.
You hoped that the heat burning in your cheeks wasn’t noticeable as you looked up at him.
“Let’s do it together,” you suggested.

He smiled down at you, (that stupid, dazzling smile,) and popped the cap off of his shot. “Do
you have a toast?”

You fumbled with removing the cap of your shot as you considered his question. “A toast?”

“Yeah, I like to say a toast before every shot.”

“That’s cute,” you said, smiling. “But no, I don’t know any off the top of my head.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve always got one.” He held the shot up toward you and you mimicked his
action as he cleared his throat. “Here’s to our best friends: those who know the worst about us
but refuse to believe a word of it.”

“Cheers,” you said, tapping his shot with yours before bringing it up to your lips. You had
forgotten to loosen the Jell-o with your finger, so it didn’t fall into your mouth when you tried
to take the shot. Instead, you had to swirl your tongue around the cup to get it free.

When you tilted your head back down, you noticed that he was staring at you as he swirled
his pinkie around the cup. “How’d you get it to come out so easy?”

“I used my tongue,” you explained shyly, to which he raised his eyebrows in approval. “Hey,
so what’s your name?”

After loosening his shot and tossing it back, he held his hand out for you to shake. “Jean
Kirstein, Captain of the Scouts.”
You shook his hand lightly and introduced yourself as you raked your memory for what
Sasha had said about Jean, but you couldn’t remember. His name was definitely familiar,
though.

“I’m friends with Sasha,” you explained and he nodded in acknowledgment.

“Yeah, she mentioned that she’d be bringing someone new over tonight,” he said with a
smile. “It’s nice to meet you. I can’t believe Sasha convinced you to come here. And to make
all those shots for everyone.”

“Hey, she’s really nice,” you said, feeling defensive over your new friend. He had to be a No
Go, there was no way someone this cute, charming, and playful was a nice guy. The vibes
were off.

He laughed and held up his hands in defense. “Sorry, I’m just teasing. Sasha is one of my best
friends,” he said and you relaxed. “Have you met any of the others yet?”

You shook your head and looked around the empty kitchen. “No, Sasha and I dropped off the
shots outside and then she ran away.”

“Typical Sasha,” he said with a shake of his head.

Speak of the devil, Sasha returned to the kitchen with a handful of empty Jell-o shot cups to
join you and Jean in the kitchen. Her eyes lit up in excitement as she saw the two of you
standing together.

“Oh my God, you two are so cute!” she said, clapping her hands. “You guys are wearing
matching costumes!”

You and Jean looked over at each other, noticing your costumes for the first time, and you
realized that Sasha was right. You were surprised you didn’t realize it earlier with his slicked-
back hair and leather jacket, but Jean was dressed as Danny from Grease.

He laughed and slung his arm around your shoulders, pulling you close into his chest. “Sash,
you’ve got to take a picture of us.” His body was warm and firm against yours and when you
rested your palm on his stomach, you could feel him flexing under your fingertips.

He was so hot.

Sasha pulled out her phone and snapped a few pictures of the two of you together, muttering
all the while about how the two of you were so cute together. You and Jean went through the
motions of making various poses before Sasha finally set down her phone.

“Where’s Connie?” she asked, looking up at Jean.

“Who knows,” Jean said, sliding his arm off your shoulders and stuffing both hands into the
pockets of his leather jacket. You tried not to stare as he pulled out his cell phone and smiled
down at the screen before typing out a message.
“I can’t wait for you to meet him,” Sasha said, grabbing your shoulders and shaking you,
tearing you away from your attempts at peeking at Jean’s phone screen. “He’s the best. One
time, in high school, he got in a fight with another guy at school —”

“Oh my God,” Jean said with a laugh. “This one?”

“Yeah, this one,” Sasha said, nodding and looking up at Jean with a wide grin. She turned
back to you before continuing her story, “Now, neither Connie nor this other kid had ever
been in a fight before, so they didn’t really know what they were doing.”

Both Jean and Sasha were trembling with laughter. Jean was doubled over against the kitchen
counter, hand over his face, and Sasha had to keep clearing her throat to stop from laughing.

You looked between the two of them expectantly. “What? What happened?”

“You know that thing that guys do during fights, where they like,” Jean managed to pull
himself together long enough to stand up straight, puffing his chest out, “Stand like this and
chest-bump each other?”

At this, Sasha erupted into uncontrollable laughter, gripping Jean’s forearm for stability as
she doubled over. “I can’t,” she said, breathless, “I can’t.”

“What happened?” you asked between giggles. Their laughter was infectious but you wanted
to know how the story ended. What did Connie do?

“Connie didn’t know to do that,” Jean said, wiping tears from the corner of his eyes as Sasha
clung to him for stability as she laughed. “So instead, he just fucking hip thrust into this guy.”

“He what?”

“Yeah, and the other dude didn’t know what to do either, so he kept doing it back! They were
just grinding on each other going Yeah? Yeah! Yeah?”

Finally, in on the joke, you broke out into laughter along with the other two. Without even
knowing who this Connie person was, the mental image of a couple of high school boys
trying to intimidate each other with a series of hip thrusts was enough to have you doubled
over onto the counter in front of Jean.

The three of you could hardly catch your breath over your laughter, but Sasha kept slapping
her hand against the counter, trying to draw everyone’s attention. “J-Jean, tell her about the
blindfold.”

“Oh my God, the blindfold!” Just when he was starting to calm down, Jean broke out into
uproarious laughter at the mention of the Blindfold Incident as you looked between the two
expectantly.

“What the fuck are you guys laughing about?”

You turned around to find a man dressed in an orange prison jumpsuit with a buzzed haircut
standing in the doorway of the kitchen. Upon noticing him, Sasha and Jean started to laugh
even harder.

“Connie, Connie — get in here!” Jean said, waving the boy over. “Come meet Sasha’s new
friend.”

You introduced yourself to Connie through a series of giggles as Jean and Sasha’s story from
earlier gained new details. So this was Connie.

“Your friends were just telling me about how you got in a fight in high school.”

Distraught, Connie turned to the two with a wail. “No way. Guys, come on, you need to stop
telling people that! That happened like —”

“Four years ago?” Sasha suggested, finally stepping away to wrap Connie in a big hug. “You
know we’re just teasing! Besides, she’s cool.”

Connie was still grumbling after Sasha broke away from the hug and crossed his arms in
irritation. “Fuck, you guys are always embarrassing me in front of cute girls. This is why I
can never get laid.”

“Oh my God, you can’t sleep with her!” Sasha exclaimed, smacking him across the chest.
“Look at how cute she and Jean look together. I already ship them.”

Jean looked over at you with wide eyes before shifting his gaze to Sasha. He raised both
hands up by his chest, palms bared in innocence as he spoke quickly. “Woah, Sasha, come on.
I told you already, I have a girlfriend.”

“But like, not reeeeaaally,” she sang, rolling her eyes. “You’ve only been seeing her for like
a month — if that! And we haven’t even met her yet!”

“Yeah, but I really like her,” he said sternly. His eyes darted back down to you and he offered
an apologetic shrug, “No offense.”

“None taken,” you said with an understanding smile, even though your heart sank in
disappointment.

“So,” Connie interjected, “Does that mean I can sleep with you?”

“Am I really your type?” you asked with a smirk. “Sounds like you’re more into hip-thrusting
with other dudes.”

Jean and Sasha broke out into laughter as Connie whined in protest. “No, come on! Guys!”

Sasha slung each arm over your and Connie’s shoulders and pulled you close against each
other. “See? I told you you guys would get along! You fit in with us so well.”

“Yeah, yeah, she’s kind of cool,” Connie agreed with a grumble before pushing Sasha’s arm
off his shoulders. “You guys look thirsty — let me make you all a drink.”
Connie hopped over the kitchen counter and started rummaging through the cupboards until
he found some hard alcohol and cups. He set them up on the counter and then went to the
fridge and pulled out some pop and juice.

“Sasha told us you’re in the accounting program, is that true?” Jean asked, leaning on the
counter next to you and bumping you with his shoulder.

You tried to calm the pounding of your heart in your chest, reminding yourself that he already
had a girlfriend (or at least, someone he was interested in), before responding. “Yeah, I just
transferred to PU this year. Are you her accounting friend?”

“Yeah, that’s me,” he said with a smile. He tried to run a hand through his hair but it was too
stiff from the hair gel he used for his costume, opting instead to just brush a flat palm over his
hair. “Have you taken any classes with Levi yet?”

“Yeah, I think almost all of my accounting courses are with him,” you said, pursing your lips.
“Is he the only accounting professor here?”

“The only good one,” Jean explained with a shrug, turning back to watch Connie mix various
liquids together under Sasha’s direction. “He’s fast-paced, but he’s really good.”

“I like him so far,” you agreed.

“It’s annoying because he’s the coach for the Scouts, too, so I see him like… all the time,”
Jean said, rolling his eyes.

“Are both of you on the team?” you asked, pointing between you and Connie as Connie
squeezed a lime into one of the glasses.

“Just me. Connie got cut last year after —”

“Don’t,” Connie said sternly, breaking out of his groove to point at Jean with a frown. “Why
don’t we tell her about some of your stupid stories, huh?”

“Oh? Like what?” Jean challenged.

“Jean doesn’t have any funny stories because he was a bully,” Sasha said, snatching the cup
from Connie’s hand and looking down into it. She swirled the drink around in the cup before
giving it a hesitant sniff. “Hey, what’s in here?”

“I wasn’t a bully,” Jean said with a frown.

“What about that time Jean tried to give a girl his number but was too shy to ask for a
working pen so he just fucking carved his phone number into the back of her hand?” Connie
asked, laughing.

“Did she ever call you?” Sasha asked before taking a sip from Connie’s drink.

“That’s not even what happened,” Jean protested, “You guys are exaggerating it.” Despite his
attempt at deflection, you noticed the way his cheeks tinged pink when you started laughing
at him.

“You carved your phone number into a girl’s hand?” you asked.

Jean frowned as he looked down at you. “Well, you know how when your pen doesn’t work
and you just like, scribble it harder? I did that… but on her hand.”

“Oh my God,” you said, widening your eyes and covering your mouth in mock horror.
“You’re a monster.”

“I didn’t mean to!” he whined, exasperated.

“Is it any good, Sash?” Connie asked as Sasha took another sip of the drink.

“What’s in here?” she repeated. “But yeah, it’s good.”

Connie shrugged and gestured to all of the open bottles in front of him. “This, this, this, and a
little of this.” He looked over at you and Jean and pointed between the two of you. “Guys
want one?”

Sasha held her drink out for you and you took a tentative sniff before taking a small sip. It
was surprisingly good, knowing the shitmix of liquids that Connie had put in it. “Sure, I’m
down.”

“Me too,” Jean said. He stepped away from the counter to go back to the sliding back door,
pushing it open and grabbing a handful of shots from inside the cooler. “We should probably
do some more of these, you guys made so many.”

Jean tossed you each a shot. Connie was busy mixing up a drink for you and Jean, so his shot
hit him solidly in the chest before falling to the ground. “Hey!” he squeaked, looking up at
Jean with a frown as he heavily poured alcohol into your cups.

“Come on, Connie, let’s hear a toast,” Jean said, popping open the cap to his shot.

Connie bent down to pick up his shot as you and Sasha pulled the lids off your shots. The
four of you held the small plastic cups up together as Connie cleared his throat.

“If liquor was the ocean and I was a duck, I’d get really, really, really fucked up.”

“That’s not even how it goes,” Jean said with a groan before you all threw back your shots.

You noticed that Sasha and Jean both took the time to swirl their finger around in the cup to
loosen the Jell-o while you and Connie just threw the shots back. You were able to dislodge
the shot with your tongue like last time, but Connie was stuck beating the back of the cup
with the palm of his hand to get it free.

“How did you get it out so easily?” he asked.

“She uses her tongue,” Jean explained, pointing at his mouth.

“What? Do you have like a long tongue or something?” Connie asked before opening his
mouth wide and sticking his tongue out. “Is mine lil’?” he asked, words slurred with his
tongue out.

“I don’t think mine is freakishly long or anything,” you considered before mimicking
Connie’s actions and sticking your tongue out.

“What about me?” Sasha asked, doing the same.

You watched Jean’s eyes darken as he looked at you before he blinked rapidly as if snapping
himself out of a daze. “Jesus, guys, stop. Connie’s fucking with you,” Jean said, covering his
face with his hand and turning away from you all.

It only took one look over at Sasha to realize how lewd this expression was and you snapped
your tongue back into your mouth. “Connie!” Sasha shrieked, leaning across the counter to
smack him. “That’s gross!”

Connie cackled in response before sliding two half-full glasses of his shitmix toward you and
Jean. “Totally worth it,” he snickered.

“Where is everyone?” Sasha asked, looking around the empty kitchen. “The kitchen is
usually a hotspot for people.”

“A bunch of the guys are doing a push-up contest downstairs,” Connie replied, taking a sip of
his drink.

“Is that where you were before this?”

“... No,” he said, shifting his gaze to the ground.

“Who’s winning?” you ask.

“It was just Eren going when I left,” Connie explained. “A bunch of girls came downstairs to
watch, so I think he’s showing off a little.”

“A little?” Jean scoffed.

“He’s on the No Go List,” Sasha said, leaning into your ear to whisper. “Eren Jaeger: fuckboy
extraordinaire.”

“Come on, he’s not that bad,” Jean said with a frown, obviously having overheard Sasha’s
comment despite her whispering. “He gets around but whatever, I mean, we all do.”

“Yeah, we all do,” Connie said nervously, nodding with wide eyes. Jean rolled his eyes and
elbowed him hard in the side.

Sasha looked up at Jean in disbelief. “I’m surprised you’re defending him. Yesterday, you
sent me a fucking email called Shit that Tilts Me, full of screenshots of annoying text
conversations you’ve had with Eren.”
“Well, I wasn’t going to call it, Eren Sucks: The Email,” Jean said, shaking his head. “He
pisses me off sometimes, but I still love the guy.”

“God, the sexual tension between the two of you is so thick.” Connie placed his elbows on
the counter and rested his head in his hands, looking up at Jean. “When are you and Eren
going to kiss?”

Jean rolled his eyes in annoyance. “Yeah, I bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” He walked
over to the other side of the counter, grabbed Connie, and thrust his hips into him. “Yeah?
Yeah?”

Connie pleaded for Jean to release him but Jean continued to hold on tight, jokingly humping
the smaller guy as he whined and squirmed.

“Are they always like this?” you asked, looking over your drink at Sasha in amusement.

“Pretty much.”

***

The four of you drank together in the kitchen for most of the night. Assumingly after the
push-up contest downstairs, more people came up and took some of the Jell-o shots you
made, but you, Sasha, Connie, and Jean had the bulk of them, along with more drinks made
by Connie. As the night went on, the drinks he made became more shit and less mix, and by
the time the last of the Jell-o shots were gone, you could confidently say that you were
wasted.

Throughout the night you started leaning in a little closer and closer to Jean. You’d blame the
dizziness from the alcohol if anyone called you on it, but really you just wanted to feel his
body against yours. You noticed that the drunker Jean got, the more he would pull out his
phone to text his little not-girlfriend, as Sasha dubbed her. Jean would always respond with a
scowl but the blush on his face and the way he’d shuffle away from you revealed his guilty
embarrassment.

“We should all take a picture together,” Sasha suggested, eyes wide after the four of you
downed another round of Jell-o shots. After alternating toasts throughout the night, your
creativity had dwindled to just simple cheers! for each shot.

“Fuck yeah!” Connie said with a grin.

All of you huddled together as Sasha pulled out her phone for a selfie picture. You stood
sandwiched between Jean and Connie to the left of Sasha. Jean’s arms wrapped around your
and Sasha’s waists, while Connie’s arm was slung over your shoulders, resting the empty shot
glass he was using to make drinks on your shoulder. The antlers on Sasha’s deer costume
were pressed into Jean’s cheek, which caused him to tilt his head to the side and rest it on the
top of yours.

“Everybody say, cheeeeese!” Sasha cooed, snapping several pictures of the four of you
laughing and smiling together.
“Core Four! Core Four! Core Four!” Connie chanted, jumping up and down next to you.

“What’s that?” you asked, looking over at him.

“That’s us? Right? Core Four! You’re not going to abandon us after tonight, are you? We’re
having so much fun together!”

“Core Four!” Sasha agreed.

“Core Four,” Jean said with a shrug.

You laughed and opened your mouth to repeat the nickname when, from the corner of your
eye, you saw the shot glass on your shoulder slipping from Connie’s hand with a quiet, oops.
You reached your hand out to catch it so it wouldn’t shatter on the ground, but in your haste
to catch it, you ended up slamming it into the kitchen counter instead.

“Oh my God,” Sasha gasped as everyone took a step back from you to give you space.

You had somehow managed to shatter the shot glass between your palm and the lower
cabinets, causing glass shards to embed in your hand and blood to drip down your wrist.

“Oh my God,” Connie repeated, eyes wide.

“Connie, go get a first aid kit,” Jean commanded, suddenly springing into action. He grabbed
some paper towels from near the sink, soaking them in water before returning to your side.
He cupped the wet paper towel under your wrist and then gently pulled your hand away from
the cabinets.

Small pieces of glass shards fell from between your hand and the wood, but thanks to the wet
paper towel that Jean was holding beneath it, he was able to catch them before they fell to the
ground.

“Come on, let’s go to the sink,” he said with one hand on your wrist as he guided you over to
the kitchen. Connie and Sasha ran off together in search of a first aid kit.

“Does it hurt?” Jean asked, looking into your face as he threw the blood and glass-laden
paper towel into the sink. You responded by shaking your head from side to side, flustered
from the alcohol, the pain, and Jean’s close proximity.

“I’m going to try to rinse out some of the glass until they get back with the first aid kit, ok?”

You nodded dumbly in response as he turned on the tap. The water stung the small cuts in
your hand and you tried to flinch back, but Jean’s grip on your wrist held you steady. “I’m
sorry, I know it hurts,” he said with an understanding frown as he pulled the nozzle off the
tap to spray at a better angle. “I’m just trying to clean it up as best as I can.”

You nodded again, swallowing thickly as you felt your heartbeat pounding in your temples.
He smelt so good — some sort of fruity, clean, citrus scent. You weren’t sure if it was his
cologne, his laundry detergent, or his shampoo.
“Got it!”

Connie and Sasha rushed into the kitchen, holding the bright red first aid kit up above their
heads. You quickly leaned back and away from Jean after realizing that you had leaned
forward, close into his neck, to immerse yourself in his scent.

Jean shut off the tap and ripped off another piece of paper towel while holding your wrist still
with his other hand. He gently patted your hand dry and when you hissed from the feeling of
glass digging into your skin, he turned to look at the other two. “See if you guys can find
some tweezers and some cleaning alcohol for her wounds.”

“I’m ok,” you said, trying to ignore the blood dripping down your hand as Jean sent you a
look of disbelief.

Sasha rummaged through the kit for the items Jean requested while Connie rushed to the
counter to grab one of the bottles of alcohol. “What about vodka? Does vodka work?”

Jean looked over at Connie and shook his head like he was stupid, “Why would we use vodka
when we have a first aid kit?”

You could hardly focus on the boys’ bickering when Jean’s thumb kept stroking your wrist. It
was such an innocent action, but why did it feel so intimate?

“I don’t know?” Connie shrugged before Sasha pushed past him with a pair of tweezers in
hand.

“Tweezers!” she yelled.

Jean grabbed them out of her hand and lifted your hand into the light, twisting your wrist
until he could get a good look at the glass in your hand. “I’m going to try to pull out any
leftover glass, ok?”

“Ok,” you squeaked, and Jean shifted his gaze from your palm to your face.

“Don’t worry, I took first aid,” he explained, giving you a small, reassuring smile before
returning his attention to your palm.

You tugged your lip between your teeth as Jean grabbed a small shard with the tweezers,
removing it from your hand slowly. The drag of the jagged glass against your skin burned and
when he finally pulled it out completely, a small pool of blood started to ooze from the
wound. You hissed from the pain and he gave your wrist a gentle squeeze in apology before
moving to the next one.

“Ah! Fuck, Jean,” you whined, gripping the countertop with your free hand to help with the
pain.

“Sorry,” he said quietly as he concentrated. “It's so deep.”

Pulling out another shard you cry out in pain, “Jean!”

“Shh, you’re doing so good,” he said, giving your wrist another gentle squeeze. “Just a bit
more — you can take it.”

You looked up at him with pleading eyes, biting down hard on your lip as he pulled another
shard. “Fuck, Jean, please,” you begged, practically sobbing.

“Please, what?” Jean whispered, eyes flicking from your palm to your mouth.

“Are you two fucking?” Connie’s words snapped your attention over to him as he looked at
you two with wide eyes. “Because it sounds like you’re fucking.”

“Obviously, we’re not,” Jean huffed, but when you looked up at him again you could see that
his face was turning pink. “Just deep breaths, ok?”

Against his directive, you took short, rapid breaths as Jean pulled out the final shard from
your hand, followed by a sharp cry of pain from the sensation. The warmth from Jean’s hand
on your arm helped comfort you from the pain as his thumb rubbed gently back and forth on
the pulse point of your wrist.

To be fair to Connie, it kinda did sound sexual.

“I found some hydrogen peroxide,” Sasha said as Jean ran your hand under water again. After
shutting off the tap, he dried your hand off with a new paper towel and this time you didn’t
flinch. He must have gotten all the glass out.

Jean grabbed the bottle from Sasha, biting the cap to loosen it before spinning it open with
one hand. You flinched as he dumped some of the contents onto your palm, expecting a burn
but feeling nothing.

“This stuff doesn’t hurt,” he explained, looking up at you. You noticed that his face was still
flushed and you looked away from him quickly, embarrassed to hold his gaze as you replayed
the scene from earlier in your head. You awkwardly shifted your weight from one foot to the
other and tried to ignore the ache of arousal building in your core.

When Jean set the bottle down, Sasha handed him some antibiotic ointment, which he
smeared all over your hand before covering it with a large piece of gauze. Finally, with a
compression bandage, he wrapped it carefully around your hand until it was securely
fastened.

“How’s that?” he asked, finally releasing his hold on your wrist.

You looked down at your bandaged hand, rolling your wrist, and gently opening and closing
your hand. “Feels ok,” you said, “A little sore.”

“I don’t think it’s deep enough that you need to go to a doctor, so this should be ok for now,”
he offered with a shrug. “But, I’m drunk, so maybe don’t listen to me.”

“No, this is great.” You looked back up at Jean with a wide smile. “Thanks, Jean.”
He smiled back in return, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. “Yeah, no problem.
Like I said, I took first aid.”

“God, you two are so cute,” Sasha squealed from off to the side, snapping the two of you out
of your moment.

With a cough, Jean turned away from you to clean up the mess he made with the first aid
supplies, snapping at Connie to go find a broom for the glass on the ground, and again at
Sasha to remind her that he had a girlfriend.

You stepped away from him as he cleaned up the kitchen, pressing your palm with your
thumb for any signs of missed glass as you tried to distract yourself from the heat in your
chest.

Right. He had a girlfriend.

And you had a crush.

Looking up from your hand, you were met with Sasha’s concerned frown. “Does it hurt?”

“A little,” you lied, hoping that your injury would be able to mask how flustered you were
around Jean suddenly. “I’ll go to a doctor or something in the morning. Jean’s right, I should
be fine until then.”

“Hell yeah,” Connie hooted, making the rock-on symbol with both hands and throwing them
up in the air, “No use crying over broken glass.”

“I don’t think that’s an expression,” Jean said, deadpan as he threw the bloody glass-laden
paper towel from the sink to the garbage.

“We should all do another shot,” Sasha suggested. “Just to show that shot glass who’s boss.”

You laughed and nodded in agreement, “Sure! Who’s got a toast?”

Sasha pulled out a replacement shot glass from one of the cupboards and filled it, along with
three others, with alcohol as Jean perked up. “I actually have a good one that’s relevant.”

Jean cleared his throat, grabbing a shot from the counter and holding it up along with the
other three of you. “Don’t tell me the moon is shining, show me the glint of light on broken
glass.”

The four of you clinked your glasses together before tossing your drinks back with mirrored
grimaces.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Connie asked with a frown.

“It’s from Anton Chekhov, a Russian playwright,” Jean said, as if that explained it.

Sasha rolled her eyes and nudged your shoulder, pointing toward Jean as she spoke out of the
corner of her mouth. “Business student takes one English class and suddenly he’s fucking
Shakespear.”

“Hey!” Jean said with a frown. “Is it wrong to have an appreciation for the arts?”

“So pretentious,” you teased with a tsk.

At that, Connie broke out into laughter, clutching his stomach with one hand while he
pumped his fist with the other. “Core Four! Core Four! Core Four!”
 Roomie Movie Night (e)
Chapter Notes

CW: Alcohol, explicit language, explicit sexual content (fingering, oral, vaginal sex,
unprotected, creampie, dirty talk, light exhibitionism), vaping

You wake up the next morning with a pounding headache and a dry mouth.

Even though you stopped drinking early in the night, all of the alcohol you drank yesterday is
now hitting you like a brick wall. You reach your arm out to your bedside table, grab your
water bottle, and practically dump the contents over your face to get some water in your
body. After choking back a few gulps of water (with a lot more ending up on your face, neck,
and pillow), you decide to crawl out of bed.

Shuffling like a zombie, you pull on a pair of loose-fitting sweats and a comfy t-shirt before
leaving your room and going down the hall to Sasha’s.

She perks up when you open the door to her bedroom. She’s still lying in bed, but she’s
already awake with her phone propped up on her chest as she scrolls through it. “Good
morning,” she coos with a lazy grin, setting her phone aside. “How was last night?”

You grumble in response, shuffling over to her bed and crawling under the blankets next to
her. You curl up against her side and close your eyes with a heavy sigh. “My head hurts,” you
whine.

“And whose fault is that?” she teases. “What time did you guys get home last night?”

“Ten? Maybe midnight? I’m not sure,” you rub your eyes with the heels of your hands. “I
came home by myself. Jean stayed out with everyone and went downtown to the bar.”

“Wow, wild night,” Sasha whistles.

“You won’t believe it though,” you say, opening your eyes and blinking up at her. “Guess
who works with us at Titan.”

“Eren?”

“Well… yes, but that’s not who I meant.”

“Oh my God, Eren?” she squeals, eyes lighting up in excitement. “That’s so spicy. Are the
two of you still hooking up?”
Memories of last night come flooding back and you feel your face burning in embarrassment.
“Actually, yeah. We may have kind of hooked up in the bathroom at the office.”

“You didn’t,” she says, eyes wide in disbelief. “Are you abandoning Operation: Make Jean
Jealous for Eren Jaeger?”

“No, no, not at all,” you say, shaking your head. “You should have seen it yesterday, Sash.
Eren was all over me at the party and being sooo flirty and Jean was just pouting off to the
side.”

The two of you giggle in excitement and suddenly the pounding in your head doesn’t feel so
bad.

“Does Jean know you guys hooked up again?” Sasha asks.

“No, but don’t worry, he’ll have plenty more opportunities to find out. Eren agreed to be fuck
buddies with me, so we’ll be hooking up a lot.”

Sasha clasps a hand over her mouth in shock. “What! You’re fuck buddies with Eren Jaeger?
Is he like, into you, or something?”

You shake your head quickly. “No, I actually told him all about my plan with Jean and he’s
going to help out.”

“Ok…” Sasha says, considering this information. “You go, girl! If anyone’s gonna get under
Jean’s skin, it’ll be Eren, so he’s the perfect guy to help.”

“But anyway,” you say sternly, trying to steer the conversation back to where you intended.
“You’ll never believe who works with us at Titan,” you take a moment to pause for dramatic
effect before saying: “Pieck Finger.”

Sasha’s eyes widen in shock and her mouth falls open again. “You’re joking,” she says,
deadpan.

“I’m not.”

“Holy shit, that’s not good.”

You frown up at Sasha and she looks away from you quickly. “What do you mean?”

“Uh, well, they dated.”

“I know that. But they dated for like, two months. She’s just a blip,” you say, emphasizing
your comment by making a small pop! with your lips.

Sasha hums in response but keeps her eyes away from your gaze.

“Sasha, what is it?” you press.

She fiddles with her hands, trying to avoid your question, but when you pinch at her side she
finally concedes, speaking in a rush, all at once. “Jean really liked her and was kind of, like,
totally in love with her, like more than you would think for only dating for a few months, and
so maybe there’s a chance that he’s still hung up on her, and might try to — I dunno — get
back together with her?”

You blink up at her, trying to process her rapid confession before the crease of the frown on
your face deepens. “Seriously?”

Sasha nods, finally turning to you with a sad expression. “He doesn’t talk about it much, but
like...” she gestures vaguely.

“Fuck,” you say quietly. “Really? Shit.”

Now you feel even worse about what happened last night. Pieck called Jean hot, Pieck was
falling all over him at the office, and then you let Pieck and Jean leave together for the bar.
What if something happened between the two of them while you were at home?

“Shit,” you say again, looking down at your hands. “I might have fucked up.”

You explain to Sasha all the little moments between Pieck and Jean last night, keeping your
eyes on your hands to avoid seeing her reaction. When you finish, the two of you lay together
in her bed in silence as your words hang in the air around you.

“I’m sure it’s fine,” Sasha says, trying to keep her voice light and reassuring. “Jean wouldn’t
hook up with a coworker.”

“He would. We literally talked about it in the car the other day,” you say sadly.

“Oh.”

The two of you lay together without another word until you hear the familiar chime of Jean’s
alarm ringing from the kitchen. It’s only then that you notice the faint smell of breakfast
cooking.

“Bacon alarm,” Sasha says, looking over at you with a soft smile.

“Let’s see how Jean’s night was, I guess,” you say with a heavy sigh.

You and Sasha crawl out of bed and join Jean and Connie in the kitchen for breakfast. Connie
is sitting at the dining room table with one foot propped up on his chair as he plays a game on
his handheld console while Jean stands at the stove making food.

Jean looks over at the two of you as you shuffle into the kitchen and smiles brightly.
“Morning!”

“You seem awfully cheery this morning,” you say, settling into your chair at the dining table.
You try to keep the bitterness out of your voice after your conversation with Sasha earlier, but
Jean’s cheerful attitude has you biting back a scowl. “Aren’t you hungover?”
“A bit,” he hums as he prepares a plate of food for each of you. “When I got home I took an
ibuprofen for like, preventative hangover control, and it seems to be working.”

Sasha rests her head on Connie’s shoulder so she can look down at his screen to watch his
game, but you notice the way her eyes dart up between you and Jean. You know she’s
keeping her attention on your conversation.

You wish you never talked to Sasha this morning. If you hadn’t, you wouldn’t have known
about Jean’s lingering feelings about Pieck, and then you wouldn’t feel so awkward now at
the table. You want to believe that nothing happened, but Jean is just so fucking cheerful, you
know something did.

“How was your night?” you ask before taking a large gulp of orange juice to calm the
tightness in your chest.

“It was fun,” Jean says with a smile as he comes over to the table with a plate in each hand.
He sets them down in front of Connie and Sasha’s seats before going back to the counter and
grabbing two more plates for you and him. “It’s too bad you didn’t stay and hang out.”

“Yeah, I wish I had,” you hum, sharing a look with Sasha as you poke at the food on your
plate with your fork. “Tell me all about it. What did I miss?”

Connie pushes Sasha off his shoulder and sets his console down on the table. “Ugh, you guys
missed it this morning. Jean wouldn’t shut up about this party.” He rolls his eyes as he
shovels a forkful of food into his mouth before taking on a whiny, high-pitched voice to
mimic Jean.

“I talked to the Regional Managing Partner, what’s-his-face, allll night. He told me I was
such a promising applicant and he was excited about my future at Titan. Then we made out
on the dancefloor and I sucked his dick.”

“That didn’t happen,” Jean says with a frown. “Well, not all of it. You’re not telling the story
right.”

“You made out with Erwin?” you ask with a snicker.

“You sucked your boss’s dick?” Sasha teases.

“No!” Jean snaps, “Just the first part.” He settles into his seat with a sigh, sending Connie an
annoyed look before shifting his gaze back to you, “Erwin told me that I was one of his
favourite applicants and that he was really impressed with my resume.” He puffs his chest out
proudly and smiles around a mouthful of food. “I wish you had been there, it was so cool to
be recognized like that.”

You and Sasha share another look before you smile back at Jean. “What about everyone else?
Or did you just hang out with Erwin all night?”

He shrugs, “I hung out with the boys a bit when we first got to the bar, but yeah, then I just
talked with Erwin. Reiner was lit the fuck up so the girls were looking after him to make sure
he got home safe.”

“Very cool, Jean,” Sasha says. “What’s a Regional Managing Partner?”

“I don’t know, it’s a Regional Managing Partner, fucking sound it out, Sash,” Jean snaps,
annoyed.

“Hey!” she squeaks.

Jean looks over at Connie in shock as he douses his food in ketchup. “Jesus fucking Christ,
why don’t you just squirt the ketchup directly into your mouth.”

“I wasn’t raised in a barn,” Connie says with an eye roll, squeezing even more ketchup onto
his food.

You laugh and get up from your spot at the table, walking over to the coffee machine. “Uh
oh, sounds like the hangover is kicking in,” you taunt. “I’ll make some coffee for everyone.”

The trio bickers amongst themselves as you work on coffee for everyone, taking the time
with your back to them to let out a sigh of relief.

Ok, so nothing happened between Jean and Pieck last night — that’s good. Now, you just
have to make sure that nothing ever rekindles between those two before Jean realizes his
feelings for you. It will be hard, now that you’re working together, but she mentioned last
night that she worked in the consulting division of Titan. There isn’t much overlap between
accounting and consulting, so it’s unlikely she and Jean will ever see each other outside of
work events and the break room, thankfully.

Sasha calls your name from behind you, snapping you out of your thoughts. “Are you going
to tell the guys about Eren?”

“Ugh, not him again,” Jean groans, dramatically rolling his eyes. “You guys should have seen
him, he was all over her last night. It was pathetic — guy needs to take a hint and get a life.”

“Eren and I actually hooked up last night,” you confess, turning around to see Jean’s reaction.

He stills in his seat, chewing around a mouthful of food before responding. “When? You
didn’t come out with us.”

“Before you guys left,” you explain. “He checked up on me when I went to the bathroom and
it just kind of… happened.”

“Oh,” Jean says quietly and you almost miss him over Connie’s over-exaggerated gasp of
surprise.

“You guys hooked up at work?” Connie asks, eyes wide, mouth comically hung open.

“Listen,” you say with a shy smile, “It probably wasn’t my best idea, but…”
“That’s so scandalous,” Connie says, looking between you and Sasha. She just nods at him in
confirmation.

“We decided to kind of make it a thing,” you explain, watching as Jean looks down at his
plate. “Not like dating, but just like —”

“Fucking,” Jean says, deadpan. “You two are fucking.”

“Yeah,” you say with a shrug, suddenly feeling full of shame when Jean turns to look at you.

“So, is he going to be over all the time?” Connie asks, cocking his head to the side.

“No, not after last time,” you say.

“What happened last time?” Sasha asks, looking between all of you for a response. “I wasn’t
here.”

“Gross sex noises,” Connie explains, making a lewd gesture with his hands, and Sasha nods
in understanding.

“Can we move on to something else?” Jean groans. “I don’t want to talk about Eren fucking
Jaeger first thing in the morning.”

“You mean fucking Eren Jaeger,” Sasha says pointedly.

Jean tries to stay grumpy, but Sasha's comment has him laughing around a mouthful of food.
“Yeah, whatever. Let’s just talk about what movie we’re going to watch tonight.”

You bring coffee over for everyone before returning to your seat, taking a small sip from your
espresso as your brows furrow in thought. “Who picked last week?”

“I think it was Sasha.”

“I think it was Connie.”

They say together as you and Jean look over at each other in exasperation.

Weekly movie nights have been a tradition between the four of you ever since your last year
at Paradis University. You and Sasha dormed together and Connie and Jean dormed together,
so each week one of the duos would hold a movie night and invite the other two over.

You alternated responsibility between each of you: one person with the movie, one person
with the food, and one person with the drinks. The lucky fourth person just got to sit back and
relax until next week.

“Didn’t we see that horror movie last week?” Sasha asks, tapping her finger on her chin.
“The weird indie one that Connie recommended.”

You hum in response, “Yeah, you’re right. It was Connie last week.”
“Nice, so that means I get the night off!” he says with a grin. “Sasha’s turn to pick the
movie.”

“So, that leaves me and you for drinks and snacks,” Jean says, looking over at you. “When do
you wanna go?”

“The earlier the better so I can just chill at home and nurse my hangover.”

He nods, “Good call. We need to go back to the office to get my car though.”

“Right,” you groan.

After breakfast, you and Jean take turns showering before getting ready to leave the house.
He calls a taxi while you’re fixing your hair and by the time you’re done, it’s outside waiting.

“How do you feel about work on Monday?” he asks after a few minutes of silence in the cab.

“I’m excited,” you answer.

“Yeah, but it’s a little overwhelming too, right? I’m excited, but there’s also like that little
feeling like everything's on fire.”

“Mine’s kind of a purer excitement, without the arson,” you say, looking over at Jean seated
next to you.

He hums in response, propping his elbow up on the lip of the window and resting his head in
his hand. “I was so excited about Erwin gassing me up last night, but now I feel like I have
even more pressure on me.”

“It’ll be fine,” you say, trying to be reassuring. “You said you knew a lot of the senior
accountants, right? You’ve got a huge support network of people who can mentor you.”

“Right,” he says as he looks out the window. “You know, Levi used to work at Titan.”

“Professor Levi?”

“Yeah.”

You wait expectantly for Jean to say more, but when he doesn’t, you press. “But he doesn’t
anymore?”

“No.”

“Why not?” you press, again.

“Not sure.”

You try not to sigh in frustration from Jean’s clipped responses. “He was your coach, right? If
you’re really worried about it, I’m sure you could talk to him. It might be good to get his
perspective,” you suggest.
“Yeah.”

You drop the conversation entirely after Jean’s repeatedly dry responses. He gets like this
every once in a while — lost in his head. Jean struggles to open up to people, opting instead
to bottle everything inside and deal with things himself. You wish he felt comfortable enough
to open up with you.

Maybe that’s why he still has lingering feelings for Pieck. Maybe she was the only one he felt
like he could open up to.

The thought makes your stomach flip into your throat. The idea that this random girl, who
only knew Jean for a few months, had a stronger connection to him than you makes you sick.
You’ve been friends with Jean for years and Connie and Sasha have been around for even
longer. What was it about Pieck Finger that made her so special to him?

You try to stop yourself from overthinking things. This is all just speculation on your part.
Maybe it has nothing to do with their emotional connection and is just sexual attraction.

Ugh — you don’t know what would be worse.

***

By the time the taxi drops you off at the office and you and Jean retrieve his car, he’s back to
normal.

You sit in the passenger seat, scrolling through your phone for music while he drives to the
store. “What are you feeling for food?” you ask.

He taps his fingers on the centre console as he thinks. “Not feeling tacos tonight, I feel like
we do that every week,” he says.

“You thinking handheld or fork-and-knife?”

Jean purses his lips in thought as he stops at a red light. He lolls his head to the side to look at
you, eyebrows furrowed. “Handheld, I think.”

“Charcuterie board?”

“Your specialty,” he smiles, returning his gaze to the road as the light turns green. “Yeah, I’m
down for that.”

You finally choose a playlist for the drive to the store and stuff your phone into the pocket of
your hoodie. Irritated by Jean’s incessant tapping between you, you rest your hand on top of
his to still him.

He rotates his wrist until his palm is facing yours, lacing your fingers together on the centre
console of his car. “What wine pairs well with charcuterie boards?” he asks.

You give his hand a gentle squeeze and look up at him from your seat, watching as a smile
grows across his face. “Definitely a nice white wine.”
“Sauvignon Blanc?” Jean suggests, dulling his consonants as he takes on a French accent.

“You know I prefer a nice Riesling,” you say, smiling.

“Ugh, yeah, because you like juice, not wine.”

The two of you laugh together and he squeezes your hand in his, brushing his thumb across
the tendons on the back of your hand.

Moments like this make you feel like you and Jean are already a couple. It feels too intimate
to be just friendly.

You and Jean have always been physically comfortable with one another. Touching, cuddling,
and holding hands isn’t uncommon between the two of you. Sure, you hold hands with Sasha
every once and a while too, but it never feels like this.

Would it really be that bad if you never confessed your feelings? The two of you could just
live in this limbo of dating without benefits. Holding hands, cuddling, and being best friends
but never more.

But, you know that would never work out. Eventually, Jean will fall in love with someone
else and it will kill you. You want him to be happy and in love, but you want him to be those
things with you.

“Where’d you go?”

Jean’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts and you blink up at him. You realize that the car
is parked off the highway and in the lot for the grocery store. Jean is looking over at you with
amusement, still brushing his thumb across your hand as you try to piece together how you
got so lost in your head during the drive.

“Oh, sorry,” you say with a small laugh, looking away from him. “I was just thinking about
stuff.”

“Let’s go,” he says, squeezing your hand once before letting go and climbing out of the car.

You miss the warmth of his hand on yours as he pulls away, getting out of the car and
walking with him into the grocery store.

Jean holds the basket as you pick out various meats and cheeses from the deli to fill your
board. You make charcuterie boards every once in a while, so you know that there are
mustards and pickled veggies at home, so you don’t have to buy much for the board tonight.

The two of you walk to the alcohol section of the store to pick out some wine to pair with
your meal. Jean points out the different variations of wine that he thinks might go well with
the meat and cheese, and from there you make a decision based on which bottle has the
prettiest label.

One of the attendants for the liquor kiosk approaches the two of you with a smile as Jean
grabs a bottle off the shelf. “Can I help you two with anything?”
“No, I think we’ve got it covered,” you say with a polite smile.

“Special occasion?” she asks, gesturing to the charcuterie ingredients in the basket.

Jean throws his arm around your shoulder and pulls you close against his chest as your face
burns in embarrassment. “Anniversary. Four years,” he says.

The woman gasps in joy and you can’t help but feel like it’s a bit of an exaggerated response
toward a couple that she barely knows. “The year of the fruit,” she says wistfully.

She putters off to one of the shelves, looking through it until she finds what she’s looking for.
She pulls a bottle off the shelf and brings it back to where you and Jean stand, holding it out
to the two of you.

“Here, it’s on the house,” she says with a smile. “A sparkling fruit wine for this big
milestone.”

Jean smiles kindly and takes the bottle from her hands, holding it out for you to look at the
label. “What do you think, sweetie?”

The label is an intricately drawn flower with bright and vibrant colours. “I love it,” you say,
looking up from the bottle to Jean’s face with a beaming smile.

He smiles down at you before looking over at the woman again, “Thank you so much, we
appreciate it.”

She nods, pulling out a notepad and scribbling something down before tearing off the page
and handing it to Jean as well. “Just give this to the cashier up front and they’ll promo the
bottle for the special occasion.”

You and Jean pay at the front counter and leave with the groceries and wine bottles in bags at
your sides. You wait until the two of you are back in the privacy of his car before you punch
Jean in the shoulder.

“You have to stop doing that,” you say, but you’re grinning around each word as a blush
burns at the tips of your ears. “That’s like the sixth time it’s been our anniversary this year.”

He laughs with you, shrugging his shoulders as he pulls out from the parking lot. “I wouldn’t
do it so much if they stopped giving out free shit. Besides, it’s fruit wine — you love juice.”

You roll your eyes, settling into your chair as the playlist you picked earlier continues to play
softly through the speakers. “How do you keep up with all your lies, Kirstein? How many
other wives do you have?” you tease.

Jean shakes his head, reaching across the console to grab at your knee. “You know there’s no
one else,” he laughs. “Just you. Always you.”

***

Sasha picks a romantic comedy for tonight’s movie night, to absolutely no one’s surprise.
You, Jean, and Connie share the couch facing the tv while Sasha lays out by herself on the
one perpendicular to it. The coffee table is littered with the charcuterie board you made for
dinner, as well as everyone’s wine glasses, and the bottles of wine Jean got from the store.

Sasha is watching the movie with rapt attention while Connie snoozes against the armrest of
the couch. His manspreading on the couch has you pushed close into Jean and Jean has his
arm draped on the couch behind you so you can rest against his side.

You spin the wine in your glass absent-mindedly as you watch the climax of the movie. It
doesn’t capture your attention quite as strongly as it does for Sasha, so you’re quickly pulled
out of the movie when you feel your phone buzzing in the front pocket of your hoodie. You
pull it out to see a message from Eren on Instagram and sliding it open, you find that he’s
sent you a tongue emoji and an eggplant emoji.

Come over? ;)

I’m drinking

You respond right away and see three dots pop up on his side of the conversation as he types
up a response.

Oh are you drunk?

No just tipsy
Can’t drive

I can come to you ;)

No, we can’t hook up here anymore

I’ll pick you up

I know a place ;)

Ok
Just give me like
An hour?
Roomie movie night

Cute ;)
Yeah
I’ll see you soon ;)

Ok ok
Cool it with the winky faces mister

But how else would you know this is a booty call?

;) ;) ;)

Before putting your phone away, you realize that Jean’s head is tilted down from the tv as if
he’s looking at your phone. You peek up at him through the corner of your eye and see him
staring at you.

He looks away quickly and grabs your phone out of your hand, setting it face-down on your
lap. “No texting during the movie,” he grumbles.

“Sorry,” you say quietly.

“Shh,” Sasha says, turning to the two of you with a frown. “You guys are missing the best
part.”

“You’ve seen this movie before?” Jean asks with a groan. “Why are you making us watch it
with you again?”

“Because it’s good,” she says with a pout. “You guys should pay attention, I think you’d like
it.”

“I like it,” you offer with a shrug.

“I’m watching,” Jean responds with an eye roll.

Sasha frowns as her eyes scan over the couch, landing on Connie’s limp form across the
armrest. “How long has he been asleep for?”

“Since the first bottle of wine,” Jean says with a laugh. “No point waking him up now.”

She nods, “You’re right. God, he’s unbelievable. He’s missing one of the greatest friends-to-
lovers romantic comedies made in the past ten years!”

Before turning her head back to the movie, she catches your gaze and quickly darts her eyes
to Jean’s arm around your shoulder and you smile in response. It’s almost spooky how much
the two of you are able to communicate with just your eyes and small shifts in your facial
expressions.

It’s not unusual for you and Jean to cuddle like this during movie nights, but every single
time you and Sasha squeal about it the next morning as if it’s the first time.

After the movie ends, the three of you clean up the living room, leaving Connie sprawled out
on the couch asleep. Sasha works on the dishes while you pack up the leftover food on the
charcuterie board with Jean’s help.

“We never ended up popping that sparkling wine,” Jean says, grabbing some Tupperware
containers from the upper shelf for you to put the food away in. “Do you guys wanna crack it
open?”

Sitting at home and splitting a bottle of sparkling wine with your friends sounds great, but
last you checked, Eren was already on his way. “I can’t, I have plans.”

Sasha looks over at you with a frown. “Plans? It’s like almost midnight.”

“Eren,” you offer as an explanation and she just nods in response.

“Are you guys going back to his house?” Jean asks, his voice tight as he puts the bottle away
with the rest of your alcohol.

“I don’t think so,” you say slowly. “He said he knew a place.”

“So, you’re going to just hook up in his car?” Jean scoffs. “What a gentleman.”

“It’s whatever,” you say, waving your hand in dismissal as you put the leftovers away in the
fridge. You catch Sasha’s gaze as you’re turning back to face Jean and you see her lips pursed
in amusement.

Jean frowns, crossing his arms over his chest. “Yeah, ok. Just be safe — use a condom or
whatever,” he says, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, totally,” you agree.

Another matched glance with Sasha. Another silent message.

She tsks and turns back toward the sink to finish the dishes.

Your phone buzzes in your pocket and you pull it out to see just a one-word message from
Eren on your phone. “Oh, he’s here!” you say, “I better go.”

“Do you want us to leave the lights on or something for you? Or the door unlocked?” Jean
asks, still frowning.

You shake your head, typing up a quick response to Eren before walking out of the kitchen to
the front door. “I should be ok, but thank you!”

Sliding on some comfy shoes, you leave the house and rush into Eren’s car. The bass from his
music vibrates your whole body as you get in and you slam the door behind you.

He smiles over at you and peels out onto the road before you’re even able to buckle up your
seatbelt. “How was the movie?” he asks, yelling over the sound of his music.

“It was ok.”

“What?”

“I said, it was ok!” you say, yelling back.

“What kind of movie?”

“Romantic comedy.”

“What?”

“I said, romantic comedy!”

You cross your arms over your chest in annoyance. Why is he even bothering to talk to you
when the music is so loud? He asks you another question but you don’t respond, instead
opting to just pout in the seat next to him.

You were in such a good mood after movie night with your roommates, but now that you’re
in the car with Eren you find yourself souring. Maybe you should’ve just stayed at home and
split that bottle of wine with Jean and Sasha. How is this plan going to work if you avoid
hanging out with Jean to be with Eren?

After a few moments of silence, Eren looks over to see you sitting in the chair grumpily and
turns down the music with a laugh. “What’s wrong with you?”

“The music is too loud, I can’t hear you,” you whine. “You can’t hear me.”

“Ok?” he says, laughing. “I turned it down. Is that better?”

“Yes,” you say, still grumpy.

“Hey, come on.” He reaches across the centre console of his car to rest his hand on your knee.
“I’m sorry, don’t be grumpy.”

“I’m not grumpy.”

“You seem grumpy,” he says, laughing. You’re annoyed that he finds this so amusing. “Don’t
worry, I’ll get that smile back on your face once we get to The Point.”

“What’s The Point?”

“The point of what?” he teases.

“The thing you —” he laughs at you and you roll your eyes, further annoyed. “Eren, you’re
being a brat.”

“You’re so easy to rile up,” he says, grinning. He reaches his hand up to squish your cheeks
but you swat him away before he can touch your face. “It’s just this place I found when I was
in high school. It has a really good view of the city and it’s pretty secluded,” he explains.
“Out of all the times I’ve been out here, I’ve only ever seen another car once.”

“Romantic,” you say, rolling your eyes.

“You’ll be happier once we get there,” he says matter-of-factly. “The city looks really
beautiful at this time of night, you’ll see.”

He turns off the highway and down a dirt road. There are no street lamps lining the heavily
forested road, so he has to flash on his high beams to lead the way. The road winds back and
forth with a slight incline and it’s just long enough that you almost start to make a joke about
him murdering you when the trees open up into a large clearing.

The road ends, but he keeps driving on the grass until his car approaches the cliff. The only
thing preventing him from driving off the edge and killing you both is the thin, chain-link
fence lining the edge.
Pressing firmly on the ignition button of his car, the engine purrs to a halt, leaving you and
Eren sitting together in the warmth of his car as the bass-boosted music plays softly in the
background.

When you turn to look over at him, you see that he’s already staring at you with an amused
smirk. “Wanna go check it out?” He gestures toward the hood of his car, not waiting for you
before he unclips his seatbelt and gets out of the car. You follow after him, walking around to
sit on the hood of his car as the two of you overlook the city.

It’s beautiful up here, he’s right. The cliff drops down into a wide, slow-moving river,
bordered by green belts of thick pine trees. Just beyond that, the city starts to take shape with
towering concrete giants with hundreds of glowing eyes. It’s an amazing view, and after
finishing Sasha’s sappy romantic comedy earlier, you find your heart beating a little faster in
your chest from the warmth of Eren’s body next to yours.

“Pretty, right?” Eren asks, drawing your attention away from the marveling cityscape.

“Yeah.”

“Still grumpy?”

“Never was,” you say, rolling your eyes but finally letting yourself smile for the first time
since Eren picked you up when he nudges your side. “I was just annoyed that the music was
so loud when you were trying to talk to me.”

“Aw, you like talking to me?” Eren teases, scooting closer to you on the hood of his car.

“Yes,” you answer honestly. “I think you’re cool. You said we were friends, right?”

For once, Eren seems to be caught off guard. “Right,” he says.

“With benefits,” you add.

“Of course.” His confident grin returns as he slides an arm behind your back, resting his hand
on your waist and tugging you close against his body.

Eren leans his head down toward your face, pressing his lips against yours in a soft, open-
mouthed kiss. You press against him eagerly when his tongue swipes across your lower lip.
His long, dark hair is loose against his shoulders, in contrast to his usual up-do style at work,
and you love how soft it feels against your palm when you tug on it.

He pulls away from the kiss but his fingers still press your body tight against his. “How come
you didn’t invite me to your little movie night?” he asks, eyes fixed on your lips.

“Do you want to come?”

“I’d come.”

“Yeah?”
“Yeah, definitely,” he leans forward, nose brushing against yours. You move your hand to cup
around his cheek, trying to direct his lips back against yours but he stays just out of reach.
“We could cuddle under a blanket,” he says, breath hot on your face, “I could grab your thigh
— like this.”

He grabs hard on your upper thigh and even through the thin material of your sweatpants,
you can feel the heat from his palm. “Nobody would know if I started touching you like this,”
he whispers, hand trailing higher up your thigh to gently press against your crotch as your
legs fall open for him.

“Do you think they’d notice?”

“No, probably not,” you sigh, head hazy as you grab his wrist, moving his hand up to the
waistband of your sweats.

He gets the hint — nudging his fingers under the fabric and sliding his hand down your body.
You tilt your hips slightly to give a better angle, moaning when his fingers brush your wet
cunt.

Eren’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise when he touches you. “No underwear?”

“Didn’t need it.”

“You’re so fucking good to me.”

Eren pulls his face away from you so he can watch your heaving chest and flushed face as his
fingers move against you. Feeling tight and restrained, you move your hands to the hem of
your shirt to pull it up and over your head, delighted to find Eren’s slack-jawed face as you
toss it aside.

“Didn’t need a bra, either,” you say, breathlessly.

“Fuck,” Eren cups one in his hand and it rests against his palm, soft and heavy. He leans
forward to run a flat tongue across your nipple just as he sinks two fingers inside of you. You
arch your back from the sensation, gasping and grabbing at his shoulder as his fingers curl
and his tongue runs circles around your hardened nipple.

“Take these off,” he says, voice low and commanding as he pulls his fingers out from inside
of you and up to his mouth. “I want you to cum on my face,” his eyes are locked on yours as
he presses his fingers against his tongue, kneeling down on the grass in front of you as you
kick off your sweats and spread your legs open for him.

It is so hot — so exciting — to be spread out like this on the hood of Eren’s car, overlooking
the city as he kisses up your thighs. You glance up from Eren’s dark eyes to the buildings
across the river and wonder if anyone out there can see you.

You’re already so flushed and slick from just a little kissing and touching, but Eren takes his
time to slide his hands up and down your legs, pressing his thumbs into your inner thighs and
looking up at you with hunger in his eyes.
He leans forward until his hot breath is just ghosting across your wet heat. You roll your hips
upward to meet his mouth impatiently and he responds by laying his tongue flat against you.
You gasp from the sensation of his warm, wet tongue across your pussy and both hands fly
down to tangle in his hair. He tongues you softly, earning desperate gasps and whimpers from
you with every flick of his tongue. Shit, he feels amazing.

You watch Eren palm at his cock through his sweats as you cry out in pleasure and it only
seems to egg him on more. He slides his tongue deep into your cunt, face pressing hard
against you as he tongues your walls. You gasp and shake around him, tugging harder on his
hair and causing him to moan into your skin.

He slides his flat tongue against your mess before circling your swollen clit, sucking it into
his mouth and tonguing it rhythmically.

Wanton moans spill from your lips as your legs shake on either side of his head. You don’t
hold back this time as you gasp out his name, tugging him closer into your skin as his tongue
flicks against your clit, over and back. He removes his punishing grip from one of your thighs
to plunge two fingers inside of your dripping pussy, pumping them against his chin to match
the pace of his tongue, stroking that soft bundle of nerves just inside your cunt that has your
toes curling.

It doesn’t take long before your pussy is clenching around his fingers, hips bucking into his
face as you cum. He doesn’t stop — just continuing his pace as you writhe and sweat above
him, Shaking, trembling, and squeezing as you coat Eren in your wet slick.

When you finally relax around him, he stands back up on his feet, pushing his sweats down
from his hips to free his aching, needy cock. Even just from eating you out, Eren looks so
fucked out, pupils blown completely as his chest heaves.

You reach for him, tugging him toward you by the collar of his shirt, and smash his face into
yours. The kiss is sloppy, just a tangle of tongue and lips — you’re so hungry for him it
aches.

“Eren,” you gasp, and he groans in response.

He pulls away from you long enough to pull his shirt off, leaving the two of you naked in the
middle of the field, about to fuck on the hood of his car.

“Turn around,” he says, voice thick with arousal.

You do as he asks, bending over the hood of his car and thrusting your hips backward until
his cock is sliding between the cheeks of your ass. “Eren, please, I need you,” you gasp,
reaching your hand between your legs to grab at his hard, heavy cock, lining it up as best you
can to your entrance.

His hands grab at your hips as he sinks into you, “Fuck, I love it when you say my name.”

You clench hard around his cock, crying out in pleasure as your walls tighten around his
length. He feels so good, so big, so heavy, as he thrusts inside of you, searching for that spot
that makes your toes curl.

When he finds it, he hits it again and again and again, snapping his hips hard into yours as
you brace yourself against his car.

“Pretty girl — so fucking tight and wet for me,” he grunts as the lewd wet sounds of your
pussy grabbing around his dick fills the silence of the clearing. You think again about the
office buildings behind you and this time, you hope someone is out there watching, seeing
how good Eren fucks you.

The thought makes you squeeze hard around him and he moans in approval. “Do you like
that?” he growls, “Does it feel good when I fuck my cock into your little pussy?”

“Yes — Yes! Eren!” you gasp and moan below him, eyes clenched shut as you let the
pleasure of his cock pressing against your swollen walls overtake you. The car rocks back
and forth from the force of Eren’s movements and he reaches a hand up to tangle in your hair,
arching you up into his chest and using his grip for added leverage as he fucks into you even
harder.

“Eren, please, I’m close — don’t stop!”

He quickens his pace, balls slapping against you with each thrust. “Yeah? Gonna make a
mess all over my cock?”

Eren is close, too. You can tell from the urgency in his thrusts and the way his husky voice
starts to take on a small whine. Thinking about him losing himself inside of you is enough to
push you over the edge and you cry out, moaning Eren’s name desperately as you clench hard
around his cock.

He tries to keep fucking you, to help you ride out your orgasm, but the way your body shakes
against him as you cry out his name into the night must be too much. “Fuck, you’re —” his
words dissolve into a strangled moan as his orgasm consumes him. He plunges himself
completely inside of you, cock twitching as he empties his balls into your tight cunt.

Eren pants against your shoulder as you tremble in his arms, trying not to black out from how
hard you came. The feeling of Eren’s hand stroking across your stomach is nice and helps
bring you back down to Earth as you shudder in his arms.

You both pull your clothes back on and get back in the car in awkward silence. Eren plays
what you assume to be his post-sex playlist, made up of soft pop songs, as he rolls down his
window and pulls out a vape pen.

“I didn’t know you smoked,” you say, still flushed and breathing hard.

He takes a long drag, cheeks hollowing around the stick as the cherry burns bright red. “I
don’t often,” he explains before blowing the smoke out the open window. “Just after sex. Or
if I’m stressed.”

“Are you stressed?” you tease, and his eyes dart over to yours in amusement.
“How’s the plan going?” he takes another long drag, ignoring your taunt.

You shrug. “I think Jean was upset this morning when I told him you and I decided to be fuck
buddies, so that’s promising, but I’m worried about working with Pieck.”

“Why? Because of what I said the other day?”

“No… well, kind of. Sasha said the same thing this morning.”

Eren hums in response. “You two have been friends for a while, right? You and Jean?”

“Couple years now,” you explain.

“If you guys have been friends for so long, don’t you think he would have already confessed
by now if he had feelings for you?”

It’s a valid question, but it still makes you recoil. “What if he’s the same as me, and he’s too
afraid to say something?” you respond, although your words hardly convince yourself.

“And why haven’t you said anything? Don’t you want to know?” Eren asks, lips pressed
around the vape in the corner of his mouth. “You’re going through all this effort to make him
— what, jealous? — when you don’t even know if he’s into you like that.”

“I think he feels something for me,” you say quietly, eyes on your lap. “He treats me
differently from other girls and he’s always been so good to me. We basically already act like
we’re a couple, we just don’t —”

“Kiss? Fuck? Make love?” Eren says and you look over at him with a frown.

“We just don’t talk about our feelings,” you say sternly.

“Then talk,” Eren says, annoyed. “If you two are such good friends, I don’t understand why
you wouldn’t just tell him you like him.”

“What if I’m wrong?”

“Ok?” Eren shakes his head. “So what? Then you can move on. Sleeping around with
someone else to try to make him jealous is just such a stupid fucking idea, I don’t even
understand your thought process.” He takes another long drag from his vape. “And just to be
clear, I’m not complaining. I’m happy to be used as a tool to piss off our sweet little Jean-
boy, I just think this is a dumb idea.”

You frown, nervously fiddling with your fingers. “You just don’t get it. You don’t know what
this feels like.”

“And thank God,” Eren laughs, blowing smoke out his window. “Why would I want to be
miserable like you?”

“Ok, ouch,” you say, glancing over at him. “That’s harsh.”

“Are you not miserable?” Eren presses, taking another drag. “What have you got to lose by
just saying something?”

“What if I lose him as a friend?” you ask, so quietly that you’re not sure if Eren can hear you.

This time when Eren exhales, he does so through his nostrils. The smoke fills the space
between you in the car, billowing into your lap and making you dizzy.

“Wouldn’t be a big loss, you’re better off without him. Jean’s a piece of shit,” he says.

“Maybe to you,” you say defensively. “He’s not to me.”

“Right.”

Eren takes another long drag off his vape before tucking it back into the pocket of his
sweatpants and blowing the smoke out his window. “Do you wanna fuck again or do you just
want me to take you home?”

“Take me home,” you say, crossing your arms over your chest. “I’m not really in the mood
for a second round.”

He nods as if he was expecting your response, firmly pressing the ignition button on his car
and buckling up his seatbelt as it purrs to a start.

“I still think this is a stupid fucking plan,” he says, “I think you’re better off moving on to
someone else than trying to get Jean fucking Kirstein to fall in love with you.”

“Like who?” you ask, raising an eyebrow in amusement as he starts to reverse out of the
clearing, resting one hand on the headrest of your seat. “Someone like you?”

“At least I’m not an asshole,” he scoffs. “And I fuck you good. You’d be better off with me
than with him.”

“I thought you didn’t do relationships.”

“I don’t.” Eren looks over at you with pursed lips. “I’d break your heart.”

“Hmm, tempting, but I think I’ll stick with Jean.”

“He’ll break it too,” he says. “Maybe even worse than me.”

When Eren drops you off at home, you notice that the porch light is on and the door is
unlocked.
 Jean's Ex-Girlfriend
Chapter Notes

Thank you everyone so much for your views, comments, bookmarks, and kudos! I love
seeing how much people enjoy my little story so far! I always try to respond to every
comment, but I know there are silent readers out there too and I just wanted to give my
thanks to you guys as well!!

We just cracked 100 bookmarks (private + public) on this bad boy over the weekend
which is totally INSANE to me. I hope you all continue to enjoy and make sure you
buckle up because we're about halfway through the first arc of the story and the plot is
about to thicken.

Also sorry if my Pieck or my Petra are out of character, but I need them to be a certain
way for plot reasons lol

CW: Explicit language

Working at your first adult job out of school is scary, but it’s easier knowing that you have
Jean at your side. The two of you are used to spending time together; since you were in the
same program at university, you had a few classes together and often studied with one
another after class. Jean was always busy during hockey season, but he still made sure to take
the time to stay on top of his studies.

The two of you spent many late nights together at the library, going over practice questions
and exercises before exams. You caught on to the theory more quickly than Jean did, so he
would always come to you to help re-teach him the concepts that he didn’t understand from
Professor Levi’s classes.

Sasha and Connie were in different programs, but they came to the library often to study with
you and Jean, too. Sometimes, the four of you were more chaotic than productive, but it was
nice to have a good group of people to study with.

It’s crazy to think that your goofy friend group of people who would rather spend all-nighters
cramming for exams than taking the time to really study are all now working in offices and
labs and schools.

Jean parks in the underground garage beneath your office building. It’s expensive to secure a
spot under the building, but the two of you agree to split the cost since you will be carpooling
together most days, and it makes it more manageable. It’s a lot pricier than commuting to
work with public transportation, but after weighing the options, the two of you decided that
you preferred the convenience and comfort of driving over taking the SkyTrain.
Monday morning, you and Jean take the elevator up together from the parking garage and
you mentally prepare yourself for your first official day as an accountant working at Titan
LLP.

When you get to your desk, you find a cup of coffee sitting next to your keyboard, waiting
for you. Taking it in your hand, you notice that it’s still warm. Whoever gave this to you must
have done so just before you arrived.

You take a hesitant sniff at the lip of the drink before taking a small sip — it's a vanilla latte.
Not really your drink of choice, but who are you to turn down a free drink?

You pull your laptop out of your bag and set it up on your dock, typing in your password to
your computer and logging in for the day. You boot up your email app and the company’s
internal scheduling tool to see what you’re scheduled on.

You are given a small, eight-hour file to work on today. The necessary documents are filed on
the network for you to access and review prior to the planning meeting in thirty minutes.
Biting your lip in excitement, you pull out a notepad from your bag after opening the files on
your computer.

It’s time to put all the training from last week to the test.

By the time you finish scribbling down all of your notes and questions, you see a message
pop up on your screen from your work messenger app with a soft ding!

Petra Ral: Let's just do a call.

Before you can respond to her message, your screen fills with her employee profile picture as
the video call app rings at you. Scrambling to shut it off, you find your wired headset and
plug them into your computer before accepting the call, and Petra’s employee profile picture
is replaced with a video of the real Petra sitting at her desk.

“Hey,” she says, voice dull. “Did you get a chance to look through the documents?”

“Yes, I did!” you say eagerly. “I actually had a few questions for you before I get started.”

“Uh, ok.”

“Is that ok?”

“Yeah… Well, no. Let me tell you about the client first.”

You write down notes on your pad as Petra tells you about the client whose file you’re
working on. She explains the nature of their business, their expected business activity in the
current year, and areas to pay special attention to for variation. During the call, she shares her
screen with you and shows you an example of one of the working papers that you need to
complete for this particular client, and you maintain rapt attention — it isn’t something that
you covered in training last week.

“Does that answer any of your questions?” she asks.

The notes on your page are scribbled haphazardly in an effort to document all of the
information as Petra rattled it off at lightning-fast speed. “Um, I think,” you say hesitantly.

“Let me know if you have any questions, but try to figure things out on your own first. But
also, don’t sit there spinning your wheels if you don’t get it. Got it?”

You nod in response and for the first time, she looks up at the camera and smiles. “Great.
Good luck!”

She hangs up the call before you get a chance to respond and your eyes fall back down to
your notes on your desk. It’s a little overwhelming, but you’re still feeling optimistic, so you
start on your assigned task.

***

You’re interrupted shortly before lunch by another ding! from the messenger app.

Jean Kirstein: Are you good?

Jean Kirstein: You haven’t said a word all morning.
Jean Kirstein: Just typetypetypetypetype

lol
I’m in a groove

Jean Kirstein: Wanna take a break?

Jean Kirstein: Go to the lunchroom, get a water or something.
Jean Kirstein: It’s almost lunch anyway.

Sure

You pull your headphones out of your ears and set them on the desk before looking up at Jean
from across the small cubicle divider. He does the same before looking over at you, eyebrows
raised.

“Good to go?” you ask.

Nodding in response, he comes out from behind his desk to meet you at yours and the two of
you walk to the lunchroom together. Despite it being almost lunchtime, the only other people
here are the baristas at the cafe and a few other employees heating their lunches in the
microwaves.

“How’s the day so far?” Jean asks, stretching his arms up above his head as you pull open the
fridge. You look at all of the options for drinks (pop, water, juice, even some beer, and wine),
before grabbing two bottles of water for yourself and Jean. He mumbles thanks, cracking
open the lid of the bottle and bringing it up to his lips.

“So far so good, I think,” you say, watching his Adam's apple bob in his throat with every
swallow — it’s kind of hot and you have to turn away before you get too flustered. “I got
assigned a job with Petra, so she called me this morning and debriefed me on everything.”
“Yeah, I heard,” he says, sighing in relief after lowering the bottle. “I got one with her, too.”

“What do you think of her?” you ask in a hushed tone.

“Like, is she cute?” he asks, tilting his head in confusion. “She’s like our boss, I dunno —”

“No,” you say quickly — sternly. You don’t need even more competition for Jean at the
workplace. “She was so nice and friendly during training, but this morning she was kind of
short with me.”

“Oh,” he says with a scoff. “Yeah, she was like that with me, too.”

You crack open your bottle of water and take a sip to refresh your throat as Jean leans an
elbow on the standing table near the fridges. He drums his fingers on the tabletop as you
drink and looks around the room. His eyes linger on the cafe before he returns his attention
back to you.

“Hey, I saw you had a coffee on your desk this morning. What was that about?”

“I’m not sure,” you say. “There was no name or label or anything on it that I could see.”

“Secret admirer?” he teases, grinning at you.

You scoff. “Doubt it. We haven’t been working here long enough for me to meet anyone like
that.”

Jean takes another drink from his bottle of water, finishing it all. He re-caps the bottle before
tossing it into the recycling bin on the other end of the room. You raise your eyebrows in
approval when he sinks his shot.

“You should’ve been on the basketball team.”

“I’ve got the height for it,” he says, looking down at you with a smile. “But, handling balls
isn’t really my forte.”

“And handling sticks is?” He rolls his eyes at you but laughs, nudging your side as you drink
from your water.

“Oh!” says a soft, sleepy voice, “Look who it is!”

You roll your head to the side begrudgingly to see Pieck entering the lunchroom. She has a
small glass container in her hands and a large smile on her face. You return her expression
with a forced smile.

“Hey, Pieck,” Jean says, making up for the lack of enthusiasm behind your smile with his.
“Having lunch?”

She nods in response, walking past the two of you to the now-free microwaves so she can
heat up her lunch. “I was just going to heat it up and see if there was somewhere nearby I
could sit outside. It’s such a beautiful day today.”
“Totally,” he says, still smiling.

“Do you want to join me?” she asks, cocking her head to the side. “I’d love the company.”

Jean answers with no hesitation. “We’d love to! We just gotta go grab our stuff.”

Her eyes gently fall closed as she smiles. “Cool. I’ll meet you at reception?”

You get the impression that Pieck’s invitation doesn’t extend to you, but you’re grateful when
Jean confirms that we will be joining her for lunch. Ideally, you don’t want Jean to hang out
with her at all, but he does, it’s better if you’re there too to keep her in check.

“Sounds good, see you there,” Jean says, waving at her and walking out of the lunchroom.
You have to practically chase after him in his rush to get back to your cubicles, your legs
barely keeping up with his long strides.

“Hey, wait up,” you say, puffing to catch up with him.

“Sorry, I don’t want to keep her waiting,” he says sheepishly. “Is the lunch stuff in your bag
or mine?”

“Mine,” you say, following him on the walk to your cubicle to grab your container for lunch.
Last night you had packed up some of the leftovers from your charcuterie board from movie
night so you and Jean could have it for lunch today. If Pieck hadn’t invited the two of you to
join her for lunch, you likely would have suggested the same idea for lunch with Jean.

You pull the container from your bag and follow Jean back down the hall to the reception.
You don’t wait long before Pieck joins you with her container in hand. The three of you get
an elevator together, with you and Pieck on either side of Jean. You try to discreetly glance
over at Pieck through the reflection of the mirrored walls in the elevator, and you see that
she’s looking at you, too. The two of you scowl at one another before looking away.

Jean suggests going to a park that’s a few blocks away from the office, and the three of you
walk there together. Jean and Pieck talk with each other, mostly chatting about what they’ve
been up to since they last saw each other. You try to chime in where relevant, but Pieck
gently nudges you out of the conversation by bringing up names and places that you’re
unfamiliar with.

Pieck is the first person to find a spot to sit, there’s a small stone picnic table under a large
oak tree that’s free for the taking. It’s a lovely spot, with the tree providing ample shade from
the sun, and you’re surprised that it’s not already occupied.

The three of you settle into your spots, with you and Jean sitting next to each other and Pieck
sitting across from the two of you. You pull out your container of food and box of crackers
and pop the lid off while Pieck stirs her meal with her fork.

“How are things going on the accounting side so far?” Pieck asks, only looking at Jean as she
blows steam from the food on her fork. “I heard accounting is pretty intense.”
“It’s not so bad so far,” Jean says with a casual shrug. “I’m surprised that you work here at
Titan, actually. I knew you were in business but I didn’t know you were taking…”

“Business Technology,” she explains with a smile. “I did a co-op with a small tech company
during my last year at Marley and was lucky enough to get a job at Titan based on their
glowing recommendation.”

“Is it really competitive?” Jean asks.

“Just for my division,” she says. “I’m actually hired under the tech consulting division under
the overall consulting department, and it’s pretty competitive comparatively because it’s such
a rapidly developing market.”

“I didn’t realize it was segmented like that,” you muse, genuinely interested. You wonder
what division Eren’s in. “What are the other divisions?”

She shrugs, not bothering to look your way as she responds. “General, marketing, human
resources, and strategy. Unless the job is super specialized, our teams are usually made up of
someone from each division, so it’s cool getting to work with people who have specialties in
different areas.”

“That’s really cool,” you say, quietly under your breath in hopes Pieck doesn’t hear.

You have no intention of becoming friends with her and you don’t want your small interest in
her department to make her think that that’s what you want. You want to make it clear that
you’re only tolerating her because of Jean, so you keep your body turned toward him
throughout the conversation.

“I think the accounting department is like that, too,” Jean says, piling meat and cheese onto
his cracker. “But there’s no overlap, like what Pieck is saying. I think by the time we get
promoted to senior accountants, we have to choose which industry we want to specialize in.”

“Oh, yeah, you’re right,” you nod, remembering vaguely that Petra had said something about
that during training last week.

“What do you mean, industry?” Pieck asks, leaning forward.

“Like forestry or mining or financial services or whatever,” Jean explains with a wave of his
hand, stuffing the cracker into his mouth. “The teams are limited to people who specialize in
each industry, except for us plebs, who get roped into everything,” he says around a mouthful
of food, nudging you in the side.

“I wonder if there’s ever any overlap between the different departments,” Pieck says, resting
her chin on her hand as she looks across the table at Jean. “It would be fun to get a chance to
see what things are like on your end.”

“It’s boring, you wouldn’t like it,” Jean says, but you can see the tips of his ears turning pink.
“Whatever you do in consulting sounds a lot cooler.”
She hums in response, bringing her fork up to her mouth and biting the food off of the end.
During the conversation, you had let your guard down, but seeing the way she licks her lips
with her eyes trained on Jean has you back on high alert.

“What do you think of the food, Jean?” you ask, trying to draw his attention back to you. “Do
you want me to make lunch for us again sometime?”

He hums in response, having just stuffed another cracker in his mouth, overflowing with
toppings. “Yeah, this is really good. Even better than the other night.”

“You made this?” Pieck asks, sneering down her nose at the glass container sitting between
you and Jean.

“Yes,” you say, voice laced with sickly sweet politeness. “Did you want to try some, Pieck?”

“I’m ok, I don’t really like to eat processed meats and cheeses,” she says with a polite smile.
“Have you ever had Jean’s cooking? I hear he’s quite good,” she adds, smiling over at Jean.

“Jean cooks for me all the time,” you say, smug. “He loves making breakfast for us on the
weekends.”

“Cute.” Her gaze shifts over to yours and you catch a glint of mischief. “Jean made me one of
his mom’s famous german omelets once when we were dating,” she glances back over to
Jean, “Do you remember that?”

Jean coughs around a mouthful of food, face turning red.

“It’s too bad,” she says, looking back over at you, “We never got to eat it — we got too
distracted.”

Bitch, you think, what’s that supposed to mean? The two of you stare each other down with
polite smiles hiding bitter disdain for one another as Jean shoves another handful of food into
his mouth. His face has turned completely red from Pieck’s comment as he tries to mask it
behind a mouthful of crackers and cheese.

“What time do you want to leave today, Jean?” You lean forward toward him on the bench
and rest your hand on his knee, but you keep your eyes fixed on Pieck. You hope your actions
convey your message to her clearly — that Jean was yours and that she needed to back the
fuck up. “Thanks so much for driving me,” you add.

“You said the file you’re working on today is eight hours, right?” he asks, looking over at
you, still flustered but clearly grateful for the change in subject. You dart your eyes quickly to
his face so he doesn’t catch you glaring at Pieck. “Why don’t we leave whenever you finish it
up?”

“I like the sound of that,” you purr, a little too sultry than normal and you see the way Jean’s
eyebrows knit in confusion. He turns away from you and back towards the food, and when
you look over at Pieck again, you see that she has a smug, triumphant smirk on her face.
You feel like an idiot and duck your head down as you finish up the rest of your lunch with
Jean. The remainder of your time together at the park is filled with idle small talk around
mouthfuls of food until you all finish. Packing up your things, the three of you walk back
down the hill and to the office.

“That was really nice,” Pieck says when you get into the elevator, looking up at Jean, sticking
out her chest, and batting her eyelashes. “I’d love to do it again,” she looks down at you,
“Maybe we can invite your boyfriend, Eren, some time.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you answer quickly as Jean scoffs.

“I’m not having lunch with that asshole,” Jean says.

“Oh, do you two not get along?” Pieck asks, and you can see the gears turning in her head as
she thinks of ways to use this information against you. “That must be awkward to be dating
someone that doesn’t get along with your roommate.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you repeat, tone harsh. “I don’t know where you got that idea, but
we’re just friends.”

“Huh, that’s weird,” Pieck says, jutting her lip out into a thoughtful pout. “You two didn’t
seem like just friends during Truth or Dare.”

“That was just a game,” you say quickly.

“I thought I saw him leave a coffee on your desk this morning,” she croons. “I didn’t see him
get anyone else a coffee. You must be a pretty special friend.”

Of course, it was Eren. You feel stupid for not realizing earlier. It’s the same drink that he got
for you on Friday before the Icebreaker Event.

Your hesitation to respond to Pieck’s comment has her smirking in triumph once again as the
elevator dings! to signify the arrival to your floor. “You and Eren make a really cute couple,”
she says, smug. “It was nice seeing you both,” she looks up at Jean with a smile before
walking out of the elevator and down the hall to her desk.

You and Jean follow her to the lobby but split off to the other side of the office to get to your
desks. He laces both hands behind his head as he walks, sighing in contentment.

“It’s so cool that the two of you guys get along,” he says. “I was worried things might be
awkward because she’s my ex.”

You hum noncommittally, clutching the container for your lunch tightly in your hands. “Who
broke up with who?” you ask suddenly, and even from the corner of your eyes you can see
his body tense.

Jean has never told you about his relationship with Pieck, but you know from talking with
Sasha: Pieck cheated on Jean. You hope that reminding him of their breakup will sour any
new or re-emerging feelings he has for her.
“Uh, it was mutual,” he says, scratching at the scruff on his chin. “She was living in Marley
and I was here in Paradis so we just didn’t think it would work out with the distance.”

His response catches you off guard — that's not what Sasha told you. “You must be happy
she’s here now,” you say, torturing yourself in anticipation of Jean’s response.

“I guess,” he says, and he stops walking. You pause with him, turning to face Jean as he looks
down at you. “We’re just friends,” he says, and there’s a weird emphasis in his tone that
you’re not sure what to make of.

“Ok,” you say with a shrug, feigning nonchalance as your hands tremble around the
container.

“Why? Do you think she —"

“Hey, guys.”

You’re gratefully interrupted by a familiar sing-songy tone and the two of you turn your
heads to see Eren approaching you both in the hallway. “Did you guys go on a little lunch
date?” he gestures to the container in your hands before looking at you with a pout, “And I
didn’t get an invite?”

Jean grunts before looking down at you, “I’m going back to my desk, I’ll see you later.”

“Bye, Jean-boy!” Eren snickers as Jean stalks off.

“Eren,” you hiss, scolding.

“What?” he raises his hands up to his chest in a gesture of surrender. “I thought you wanted
to make him jealous?”

He leans toward you until his face is level with yours, shit-eating grin plastered across his
face. “I think it’s working,” he teases and you try to hide how embarrassed you are. “I think
he’s gonna confess his undying love for you soon.”

“Stop,” you scold, frowning as you step around him to head back to your desk, but he follows
close on your heels.

“Am I going to see you again tonight? You can come over after work and I can drop you off
after.”

“Jean drives me home,” you say sharply.

“Every day? What’s that, like an hour's commute?”

“Something like that,” you say, tone dismissive.

But Eren continues, “That’s a lot of time spent alone together. Don’t you think he’d say—"
“Eren, please,” you say, whirling to face him with furrowed brows. “I don’t want to hear your
opinions.”

Eren rolls his shoulders back, standing at his full height as he tilts his chin up. “Ok, fine, I’ll
stop,” he says, looking down his nose at you. “But I want to see you tonight. You need to
hold up your end of this arrangement.”

“I don’t want to tonight,” you say, face burning in a mixture of anger and embarrassment as
you look around at the cubicles nearby. “I can… I can send you pictures or something.”

His eyebrows raise in amusement. “Pictures?”

“Yeah, like,” you gesture vaguely, “You know what I mean.”

He grins devilishly. “I am so lucky that Jean’s little girlfriend is so stupid,” he tsks, squishing
your cheeks with one hand as he looms above you. “Yeah, send me some pictures, baby —
videoes, too. Make sure you’re nice and loud when you moan out my name next door to
Jean’s bedroom.”

“Eren,” you scold, swatting his hand away. “I’m done talking about this. I’ll talk to you later
tonight.”

“Sure,” he says, still grinning. “I’ll be waiting.”

***

“How’s Operation: Make Jean Jealous going?” Sasha whispers, closing your bedroom door
behind her before rushing to your bed and crawling under the covers.

You wiggle to the other side, giving her more room to settle in before the two of you pull the
blankets up and over your heads. These little gossip sessions and debriefs with Sasha have
become a part of your nighttime routine ever since you started working at Titan. You look
forward to them every night, a chance to giggle and gossip with one of your best friends
about a boy you like.

“Not well,” you confess with a frown under the warmth of the blanket. “We went for lunch
with Pieck today.”

“Ew, we hate Pieck Finger,” Sasha says, sticking her tongue out. “Why?”

“We ran into her in the lunchroom,” you explain, “And she was all Ooo, Jean, I want to go sit
outside for lunch and he was like, Wow, what a great idea, Pieck — as if I didn’t suggest that
this morning to him.”

“Barf,” Sasha says, rolling her eyes. “I don’t want to hear about her anymore, tell me about
you and Jean.”

“There’s really nothing,” you say with a sigh. “Just the usual.”

“What about the whole arrangement with Eren?”

You laugh, “Jean is so fucking weird about Eren. He’s so snippy whenever Eren comes up in
conversation or whenever Eren's around.”

“Ugh, right! He’s so weird,” Sasha says, eyes lighting up. “You should’ve seen him the other
day when you left to go see Eren, he was stomping around all grumpy in the house.”

“Really?” you feel your heart flutter in excitement. “Like, after movie night last week?”

“Uh huh,” Sasha says, moving her head up and down in big exaggerated nods. “He wouldn’t
shut up about how much of a scumbag Eren is and how he was surprised you were even into
him and how blah, blah, blah.” Sasha opens and closes her hand as if mimicking Jean talking.

Your toes curl in excitement as you grin over at Sasha. “Do you think he’s into me? Do you
think it’s working?”

She sighs and shrugs. “It’s hard to say. He can be so hard to read sometimes.”

You hum in agreement, fiddling with the blankets. “Do you think this whole thing with Eren
is ruining my chances with Jean? Like, what if Jean is grossed out that I’m hooking up with
Eren, to the point that he wants nothing to do with me?”

“I don’t think that’s the case,” Sasha says. “When those two were friends, they were really
competitive with one another. If anything, Eren hooking up with you will make Jean want
you even more, just to rub it in Eren’s face.”

Would Jean hook up with you just to one-up Eren? You’re not sure if that’s even a good
thing. Just like all of the other hockey guys from school, Jean has had his fair share of flings
and fuck buddies. He wasn’t as infamous as Eren, but you know he got around.

But, Jean respects your feelings. He wouldn’t hook up with you just to one-up Eren, you
think. You and Jean are friends, so he wouldn’t toy with your feelings like that unless it also
meant something to him, too — right?

You hum in response, looking away again and feeling sweat prickling your hairline from the
heat of being under the blankets.

“How’s Eren?” Sasha asks.

“Like, sexually?”

“Like, in general,” Sasha says, rolling her eyes. “Is he… good to you?”

“Yeah, I think so,” you respond, thinking back to your previous experiences with Eren, the
pictures you sent to him earlier this evening, and his very enthusiastic response. “I’m
enjoying our little arrangement, even if it doesn’t work with Jean.”

“Are you like, into him?”

“God, no.”
“Is he into you?”

“Definitely not,” you shake your head quickly. “He literally reminds me every time we talk
that he isn’t into relationships. I’m honestly lucky he’s sticking around long enough to do this
whole fuck buddy thing when I haven’t even seen him since last weekend.”

Sasha laughs. “God, I can’t believe you’re sleeping with him. Eren Jaeger... who would’ve
thought.”

“He’s always been flirty with me at parties and stuff,” you say with a shrug.

“Well, yeah, but he’s Eren,” Sasha says, eyes wide. “I never thought you’d be into him. Like
with his reputation for being a fuckboy.”

“Him being a fuckboy doesn’t really bother me. I’m not trying to date him or anything, we’re
just having sex,” you say. “Besides, he’s like… good.”

Sasha crinkles her nose in disgust and makes a fake gagging noise. “Ew, gross. Spare me the
details.”

You stick your tongue out at Sasha and give her a small shove, dissolving you both into
laughter until you have to push off the blankets. The open-air in your room feels so much
cooler than under the blankets and you take a huge breath in relief.

You fiddle with the blankets in your hands as you build up the courage to ask a question
that’s been bubbling up inside of you since you first met Sasha. “Can I ask you something
weird?”

“What?”

“You have to promise not to freak out.”

“Oh God, what is it?” Sasha rolls onto her side to face you, eyes wide.

“You have to promise,” you urge, holding out your pinkie to her.

She looks at it with a frown before her gaze falls back to your face, eyes narrowed. “Fine, I
promise.” She links pinkies with you and the two of you squeeze them together.

“Have you… ever…”

Despite the pinkie promise, you’re still struggling to make the words come out. You’re not
sure if you want to know the answer to this question, but you feel a little too far in to back out
now.

“Have you ever had a thing with one of the boys?”

You instantly recoil after asking the question, cowering behind the corner of the blanket as
Sasha blinks at you, mouth agape.
“Oh my God, absolutely not. Those guys are like my brothers, I’ve known them since I was
in high school.”

“Yeah, but like,” you give Sasha a look of disbelief. “They’re cute.”

“Ew,” she says, crinkling her face.

“Never?” you press, watching her face carefully. “I just want to know in case it’s weird. Like,
am I sitting here, telling you how badly I want to…” you trail off, eyes darting behind Sasha
to the shared wall between your room and Jean’s, before returning your gaze to her. “When
you had feelings for him?”

“No, no, no. Jean is like my best friend — Connie, too — I’d never have… Ew.” Sasha says
sternly. “Terrible, awful, and like, not hot at all. I love them, I’d do anything for them, but
I’m not attracted to them.”

“Ok, ok, just checking,” you hum, feeling like a heavy weight was just lifted from your
shoulders. “If you ever did get feelings for one of them, I’d back off immediately. You know
that, right?”

“You really don’t have to worry about that, after all the shit I know about those two from
growing up together, I’d never be attracted to them.”

You nod in response, but keep fiddling with your blanket. “Have you ever talked to Jean
about me?”

“Huh?” Sasha says, frowning. “What do you mean, I talk with him about you all the time.”

“No, I mean about like… my feelings.” Sasha looks at you with wide eyes as you stumble
over your words. “I mean, you guys are so close and I was just an outsider, really, when you
first found out about my crush so like… Does he know?”

“He doesn’t know,” Sasha assures, resting her hand on your shoulder. “What you and I talk
about is protected under the Cone of Silence. Jean and I are besties, but I would never out
your crush on him.”

“Ok,” you say, smiling in relief.

“Besides, who doesn’t love a good slow-burn friends-to-lovers arc? The slower the better,
baby!”

You laugh, brushing her hand off your shoulder. “This isn’t one of your rom-coms, Sash. This
is real life.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” she says, waving her hand in dismissal. She pauses, tapping her chin
with her finger as she looks up at the ceiling in thought. “Actually, I don’t even know what
you see in him. Don’t you realize how gross he is?”

“He’s not gross!” you whine defensively, eyes wide in shock. “He’s actually really, really
hot.”
“Ew,” Sasha says, sticking her tongue out. “But like, he wears that douchey chain all the time
and he literally has a fucking mullet.”

You hold your hand up to your mouth to stifle your giggles, but it doesn’t really work, and
soon you and Sasha are cackling in your bed together.
 The Cabin in Trost
Chapter Notes

Credit to Reddit user omfgitsjeff for the embarrassing story used in this chapter!

I think this will be the last flashback chapter that I do for this fic, but I might have a
flashback scene or two in future chapters. I hope it's clear when I do current day
(present-tense) vs. flashback (past-tense), and that it's not too confusing!

CW: Alcohol, explicit language, non-explicit description of sexual acts?

“This is your family cabin?”

Your jaw fell as Jean pulled off the dirt road and up the long, winding driveway to what
looked more like a lakehouse than the wood cabin you were expecting.

Sasha giggled and slung her arm around your shoulders in the backseat of the car, tugging
you close to her side. “Isn’t it amazing? It’s so lucky our schedules lined up for this weekend,
what a great way to celebrate the end of exams!”

You were still struggling to pick your mouth up off the floor when Jean parked in front of the
house. It was a beautifully built log home with huge bay windows and a wrap-around porch
overlooking the crystal-blue lake down the hill.

“This is unreal,” you said, still stunned as Jean killed the engine.

He turned around to face you with a wide grin plastered across his face. “Come on, don’t you
want to see inside?”

That spurred you into action, unbuckling your seatbelt with the others and going around to
the back of Connie’s SUV to pull your bags out from the trunk.

Jean, Connie, and Sasha had spent all of last semester telling you about Jean’s family cabin.
Ever since they became friends in highschool, the three of them would come out here for long
weekends in the summer to relax, get drunk, and splash around in the water.

Jean’s parents stopped coming out here after Jean became a teenager, and he didn’t have any
other siblings, so the cabin was always available for Jean and his friends to party at. It was
about two hours outside of Trost, but it was worth the drive to stay at a totally secluded cabin
on what felt like a private lake.

Long weekends with the group were such a practiced routine that all you had to do was pack
your things and hop in the car. Jean had a multi-year spreadsheet of the food and drinks that
needed to be purchased for the trip (complete with costs and quantities, adjusted each year
based on their tastes), that the three referenced when shopping for supplies for the trip. After
everything was purchased, Jean would calculate the cost-per-person and each person would
e-transfer their portion of expenses to him at the end.

Such an accounting major thing to do, but also really handy.

Jean and Connie grabbed the giant cooler filled with food from the trunk while you and Sasha
grabbed the cases of beer and seltzers. The boys led you up the driveway and into the cabin,
with Jean opening the door with the touchless lock on the side of the front door, connected to
his phone or maybe his smartwatch — you weren’t sure. You struggled not to stumble in
through the door as you were greeted by the sight of the cabin’s lavish interior.

“Your parents must be fucking loaded,” you said, spinning around to take in the sights.

The log exterior carried onto the inside of the building with exposed beams lining the ceiling.
The main floor was made up of a large sunroom that overlooked the lake, leading into a cozy
living area with a small wood stove and a sizable kitchen. In the corner, you could see the
half-open door to the bathroom, which had a full sink, toilet, shower, and washing machine.
A huge wooden staircase on the main floor curved up to, likely, the bedrooms and a second-
floor overlook.

You were still marveling at the cabin when Jean and Connie sat the cooler down in the
kitchen next to the fridge. “Hey,” Connie called, “Come on, we’ve got a lot of stuff to put
away. Pick your jaw up off the ground and get to work!”

You laughed but followed into the kitchen with the rest. Together you unloaded the cooler
into the cabin’s fridge and freezer and then filled up any remaining space with alcohol. The
extra alcohol you purchased was set aside on one of the counters in the kitchen and the dry
goods were put away into the cupboards.

Between the four of you, it didn’t take long to get all of the food and drinks put away, and
then Jean was leading you all upstairs to the bedrooms. Jean showed you the three bedrooms
upstairs: one had a large king bed and overlooked the lake, another was just a double bed, and
the last had three singles.

Connie and Sasha threw their bags into the room with the three singles and you looked at
them in confusion. “You guys are going to sleep in here together?”

Sasha nodded, “Yeah, all three of us usually sleep here together because it’s the most fun.”

You looked between the other three and then the three beds in the room — there was no room
in here for you.

“You can squish in bed with me if you want,” Sasha said, noticing at the same time that you
did. “It’ll be tight, but I don’t mind sharing with my best bud.” She ran up toward you and
squeezed you into a big hug as Jean shifted the strap of his duffle bag from one shoulder to
the other.
“Sorry, I didn’t even think about the sleeping situation in here,” Jean said, scratching the back
of his head. “I can go sleep in one of the other rooms, I usually get up the earliest, anyway.
Plus, you don’t want to share a bed with Sasha, she farts in her sleep.”

“I do not!” Sasha screeched.

You sat your bag down with the rest and followed the gang downstairs back to the kitchen.
Jean pulled out four cans of alcohol from one of the cases on the counter and handed one out
to each of you, keeping one for himself. He rummaged around in the drawers of the kitchen
before finding a steak knife and holding it up.

“Ok, let’s do a quick shotgun before the real party starts,” he said, tilting his can to the side
and pricking it with the knife. Some of the beer from his can sprayed up into his face, but he
continued to drive the knife into the can, twisting it until it made a small hole in the side.

Jean pulled the knife out of his drink and held it out for the next person, Sasha, who did the
same to her drink before passing it on to Connie, and then to you. Once all of you had your
shotgun hole ready in your drinks, fingers tucked under the tabs and ready to snap them open,
Jean held up his can.

“Here’s to the best people I’ve ever met, all here together in this room!”

With a cheer, you all tapped your cans together before cracking them open. Some of your
drink spilled onto the floor before you were able to wrap your lips around the knife hole,
tilting it up so the alcohol drained steadily down your throat.

Sasha was the first to finish with a loud squeal before slamming the empty can down on the
ground. Next was Jean, then you, and finally Connie.

“How do you guys do that so fast?” he whined, the loud thunk! of his half-full drink hitting
the ground drawing all of your attention.

“You didn’t even finish,” Jean laughed, leaning down to pick up Connie’s leaking can from
the ground. “You’re ruining my floors, man.”

Connie snatched the drink from Jean’s hand as you and Sasha cleaned up the rest of the cans.
He grumpily finished the remainder of his drink just as Sasha threw down a wet towel to
clean up the sticky mess.

“God, fine — better?” he asked, wiggling the empty can in the air. Only a few drops fell from
the can this time before he tossed it into the sink with the others.

“Much,” you said with a grin, watching as Jean turned around to grab four cold drinks from
the fridge.

“Do you guys want to hit the water right away while we still have some light?” he asked,
holding out two cans in each of his massive hands for you and the others to take.

Connie staked his claim first, grabbing a can and cracking it open quickly. “Yeah, I’m so
sticky and gross from the car ride over. I need a dip in the lake.”
“Ew,” Sasha said. “Maybe if you got your AC fixed, your car wouldn’t be such a sweatbox.”

“Ok listen, last year it didn’t get hot at all, so I figured this year would be the same. It’s not
my fault it’s like 30 degrees in fucking April,” he said, setting his drink down on the counter
and pulling his t-shirt off as if to prove his point. His body was already glistening with a thin
film of sweat.

“Are you wearing your suit under there?” Sasha asked, leaning forward to run her finger
under the thin strap of your tank.

“I have to change,” you explained, choosing one of the remaining two drinks from Jean’s
outstretched hands for yourself. “Do you?”

She nodded and turned to look up at Jean, “We’ll meet you guys down by the water.”

“Ok,” he said, grabbing the neck of his shirt from behind his back and pulling it up and over
his head. You tried not to stare too much at his defined chest and abs, covered in small beads
of sweat, but in the soft light from outside he just looked so fucking good.

Your mind was instantly thrown into the gutter as you thought about what his skin would feel
like under your fingertips. Was his back as muscular as his chest was? Would he let you dig
your nails into his back and mark up his chest with hickeys? And what about those big, veiny
hands of his? You were certain they would look pretty wrapped around your throat or those
long, thick fingers stuffed in your —

“Come on,” Sasha said, snapping her fingers in front of your face with a grin before dragging
you out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

Shit, she caught you.

Sasha practically slammed the door shut behind the two of you, eyeing you with a glint as
you scurried away from her to your bag.

“What was that?” she sang.

You tried to focus on looking for your swimsuit in your bag, keeping your face fixed away
from Sasha so she couldn’t see how flustered you were. “What was what?”

She giggled and flopped down on the bed next to your bag until her face was in your view, a
shit-eating grin plastered on her face. “I totally saw that,” she said.

Finding your bikini finally under all of your other clothes, you pulled it free from your bag
and turned away from Sasha. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you insisted.

“You were totally checking out Jean,” she pressed, walking around to face you as you
desperately tried to keep your back facing her.

“Sasha, I’m trying to change,” you whined, pulling your shirt up over your head while at the
same time trying to hide your tits from Sasha — which wasn’t really working out because she
was determined to look you in the eye through her interrogation.
“Do you have a thing for Jean?” she asked as you covered yourself with your arm, using your
free hand to throw the neck of the bikini over your head. The blush that bloomed across your
face and exposed chest was more than enough answer for Sasha and she instantly dissolved
into a fit of giggles. “Oh my God, you do!”

You spun around quickly to avoid her laughter, tugging your top over your breasts and tying
the string behind your back with nervous, shaky fingers. “Sasha, no, don’t be ridiculous.”

“You’re the one being ridiculous. It’s so obvious!”

With your boobs securely covered by your small bikini top, you looked over your shoulder at
Sasha. She had flopped back onto Connie’s bed and was kicking her feet up in the air in
excitement.

“Sasha,” your tone shifted from dismissive to desperate. “Please don’t say anything about it.
It’s just a little crush.”

“You know, I always thought the two of you would be cute together,” she said, eying you
from her spot on the bed. “Do you want my help setting you guys up?”

You shook your head furiously. “He just broke up with his ex.”

“Jean’s been broken up with his ex for like months now,” she said, rolling onto her stomach
to look at you. “I’m sure if you made a move on him, he’d be into it.” Your frown did nothing
to discourage her as she looked up at the ceiling in thought. “This weekend would be a really
good time for the two of you to get together. All alone, out in a romantic cabin getaway,
under the stars…”

When she started making kissy faces you rolled your eyes in disgust, turning away from her
to pull your shorts off and your bikini bottoms on. Even though you were devastated and
embarrassed that your secret crush on Jean was out in the open, it felt nice to talk about it
with someone. You had bottled up your feelings for so long and now it felt like they were
bursting out of your throat.

“Do you think… he likes me too?” you asked, shy.

Sasha practically screamed in excitement, jumping up off the bed to grab your hands, she was
so excited that her hands were shaking. “I don’t know for sure, but he’s definitely flirty with
you.”

“You think?” you asked, face hot with embarrassment. “It’s so hard to tell with him if he’s
just being nice or if he’s being flirty.”

“Jean’s also so fucking stupid sometimes,” Sasha said, dropping your hands and walking over
to her bag as if suddenly remembering the reason why the two of you came up here in the
first place. As she dug through her bag, she continued, “He’ll flirt all day long, but he’s
definitely the type to need a little liquid courage to actually make a move. For someone
who’s so stuck up, he doesn't realize when someone’s into him. You really have to just throw
yourself on him for him to get it.”
When Sasha found her clothes, she instantly stripped in front of you. You looked away
quickly out of respect, marveling at Sasha’s self-confidence to get completely naked in front
of you like this.

When you heard the soft snapping of nylon against skin, you turned to face Sasha, seeing her
dressed in a well-fitting one-piece. “But, anyway, I’m so down for Operation: Jean Kirstein
this weekend — like, so down!” she cheered.

“What if he doesn’t like me, though?” you asked, taking a sip from your drink. “I don’t want
things to be awkward and screw up our friendship. I really like you guys.”

“Core Four,” she said.

“Core Four,” you repeat.

“Yeah, that’s a good point,” she hummed, pacing back and forth in front of you. “Not only is
Jean stupid, but he’s also a weirdo. I could see him icing you out if he didn’t feel the same
way.”

“Cool,” you said, heartbroken.

“But, that won’t happen,” she said quickly. “Because this weekend is going to be so romantic
and you look so cute in your little swimsuit that you have nothing to worry about.”

As if to emphasize her point, she walked up to you, cupping your breasts in her hands and
jiggling them gently. “I mean, just look at these bad boys!” she said, eyes bright. “And get up
off the bed, I bet your ass looks really nice too.”

“Sasha! Oh my God,” you laughed, covering your face in embarrassment and cowering away
from her. “Let’s just get out on the lake.”

“Hmm, yeah, fine,” she said, stepping away and grabbing her drink. “But I’m telling you,
after this weekend, the two of you are gonna be taking full advantage of Jean’s private room,”
she said with a wink.

You rolled your eyes at her but you couldn’t ignore the buzz of excitement in your stomach as
you followed after her out of the cabin and down to the lake to join the boys. Jean and Connie
were floating near the dock in water tubes, sunglasses on and facing toward the sun as they
soaked up rays before the sun set over the horizon. Two empty cans were already laying on
the dock as the boys worked on their third drink of the night.

“Did you guys blow up any for us?” Sasha whined, settling her hands on her hips as she
peered down at the two boys on the water. “What are we supposed to sit in?”

“You have no idea how long it took us to get these pumped up,” Connie said, lowering his
sunglasses to look over at Sasha. “You guys can do your own.”

Sasha frowned, unsatisfied with that response, and set her drink down on the dock. “Or, I
could join you,” she said, diving into the water.
Her splash caused ripples in the lake, swaying the two floating boys as she started to
approach Connie. “Sasha, no,” he said sternly, trying to paddle away from her with his hands.
“You’re going to flip me over.”

You watched in amusement as she swam over to Connie’s floatie, hooking her arms around
the edge and weighing him down on one side. She looked over at you back on the dock and
called you over. “If you hang on to the other side, we might be able to stabilize him.”

Not wanting to miss out on the fun, you sat your drink down next to Sasha’s on the dock
before diving into the water as well, swimming quickly out to join the two on the floatie.

The floatie wavered unsteadily from the weight of you and Sasha on either side and Connie
flailed around in distress. “Guys — guys! Come on, get off!” he whined, removing his drink
from the cup holder to lift it up above his head. “You’re going to get lakewater in my drink!”

“Connie, shut up,” Jean groaned, unbothered.

You and Sasha shared a look, her eyes darting over to Jean and then back to yours, eyebrows
jerking up. “Let’s knock him over,” she decided.

You and Sasha kicked off from Connie’s floatie, leaving him to spin around in circles on the
lake as you swam over to Jean. He hardly had time to react before the two of you grabbed
onto his tube, but both of you grabbed onto the same side and your weight caused the whole
thing to flip over, sending Jean and his drink into the water with you and Sasha.

With a large gasp for air, Jean breached out of the water, running a palm down his face to
wipe off the water while his other hand held onto his drink and sunglasses. “What the fuck,
guys!”

Sasha giggled and started swimming back to Connie. “It was her idea!” she said quickly.

Jean tossed his can (now full of lake water) and his sunglasses onto the dock before he turned
to face you. “Do you wanna get dunked?”

“No — Jean, no!” you squealed, struggling to swim away as he started to approach you.

Jean was easily able to catch up with you and grab you around the waist, pulling your half-
naked body against his chiseled abs. You tried (but not really) to squirm out of his grasp, but
your wet bodies just slid against one another underwater.

“Do you wanna get dunked?” he repeated, voice low and threatening in your ear as he held
you tight against his chest. You felt chills of arousal shooting down your spine from the way
his stubble grazed your jaw when he spoke.

You wrapped your legs around his waist and your arms around his shoulders, clinging tightly
to him. “No, come on, Jean — We didn’t mean to, don’t do this!” you whined dramatically as
Connie and Sasha laughed from afar.

“Hanging on isn’t going to save you,” he scoffed. “All I have to do is crouch and you’ll be
dunked.”
“But you’ll be dunked, too,” you said, hoping to discourage him but reveling in the way it felt
to have your body wrapped around his like this. You were happy to continue arguing with
him if he kept holding you close like this.

“Hmm, good point,” he said, tilting his head away from your ear to face you. “Fine, I won’t
dunk you.”

You breathed a sigh of relief but still held on tight, feeling fireworks where his fingers dug
into your waist.

“I can just splash you.” Using his other hand like a cup, he gathered a handful of water and
dumped it onto your head.

“Jean!” you squealed, squirming in his arms.

In retaliation, you splashed your arms around in the water, trying to get him as wet as
possible until he finally let go of you and you swam back to the safety of the dock. Jean
didn’t bother to chase after you and instead ran both hands through his hair to push the wet
locks away from his face as if it wasn’t unbelievably sexy of him to do so in the soft light of
the setting sun.

Jean looked like a model from a magazine with his chest half-submerged in the water,
glistening in the light as he grinned at you from where he stood. His golden chain rested
around his neck and against his collarbones, glinting from the sun, and with the ripples of the
water obscuring his lower half, you could be convinced he was standing there in nothing but
that golden chain.

“What? Afraid of the water all of a sudden?” he asked as you looked over at him from behind
your shoulder.

“You can have the floatie, I’ll just sit on the dock,” you said with a pointed look, before
turning back to face the dock and pulling yourself out in — what you hoped was — the
sexiest way possible. Water streaming down your body, bikini squeezing around your ass,
until you were able to twist yourself to sit down on the dock.

As you did so, you caught Jean’s eyes, dark on your body, before he looked away and swam
back to his floatie. You quickly looked over at Sasha, sending her an excited look as she
smiled at you.

“You two are always staring at each other,” Connie said with a huff, flicking Sasha’s
forehead. “What’s that about?”

She whined in pain, pinching Connie’s stomach in retaliation as the two floated closer to you
on the dock. “Girls can communicate just by looking at each other. I bet you didn’t know
that.”

“That’s not true,” Connie scoffed. “How can a look communicate anything?” Sasha gave
Connie a look like she thought he was stupid and he blinked at her blankly. “Now why are
you staring at me?”
Jean paddled his floatie close to the dock, arms flexing against the resistance of the water as
he moved closer to you and the others. “What do you guys want to do tonight for dinner?”

“Ooo, hot dogs!” Sasha said, swiveling her head over to look at Jean. “Please, Jean?”

“Is that cool with everyone else?” he asked, ignoring Sasha’s pleading look to glance between
you and Connie.

“Whatever, I don’t care,” Connie said with a shrug, clasping his hands behind his head and
relaxing back into his tube.

You nodded in agreement and Jean jerked his chin back toward the cabin. You turned to look,
finding a firepit nestled between the cabin and the dock surrounded by some chairs. “Let’s
have a fire outside tonight.”

“How romantic,” Sasha cooed, looking over at you.

“How is that romantic?” Connie asked with a frown, and Sasha just looked at him in
response.

***

The four of you ate roasted hot dogs and smores by the fire until the stars came out and the
cicadas were buzzing. Sasha had a stack of logs next to her chair that she threw in the fire
every time it got too low, but for the most part, none of you got up from your seats all night.
Just drinking and laughing and sharing stories around the fire without a care in the world.

Jean, Connie, and Sasha had a lot of stories from high school they shared with you.
Sometimes the stories didn’t make sense because they were laughing too hard to tell you
properly, but you still appreciated the little glimpses of their lives before you came into the
picture.

“Am I ever going to find out about the Blindfold Incident?” you asked, resting your elbow on
the armrest of your chair and your chin in your hand. “You guys mentioned it on Halloween
but then never again.”

“Oh my God, the Blindfold Incident!” Sasha cackled as Connie groaned. “Yes, absolutely, we
can tell you about that.”

Jean leaned forward in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees as the light of the fire
illuminated his face. “Ok, so when we were in gym class, we had to play this like, trust
exercise game thing — don’t ask me why, I have no clue — but everyone had to get paired
up for the game.”

“Connie and I were partnered together,” Sasha said, grinning over at him as he covered his
face in his hands. “And Connie decided that he was going to trust me, so he had to cover his
eyes with the blindfold.”

“Worst decision I ever made,” he grumbled, taking a long swig of his beer.
“It was an obstacle course, so I basically just had to direct him through it without taking too
much time,” Sasha explained. “We got through it relatively quickly, and we were about five
meters from the finish line when I decided I wanted to fuck with him, so I told Connie to
run.”

Sasha’s grin turned devilish as she continued. “There was a straight stretch to the finish line,
so he just took off. I never told him to stop, so even though he passed the finish line, he kept
going into the crowd.”

Jean had his face in his hands, body shaking with laughter as Sasha continued the story. “The
crowd parted like fucking Moses and the Red Sea as Connie ran full tilt into the crowd,
somehow not hitting anyone, but then he kept going.”

“Please, Sasha,” Connie whined. “I beg of you.”

Sasha dismissed him with a wave of his hand. “Behind the crowd were the bleachers, so
Connie ran — literally as fast as he could — blindfolded, into the bleachers. He tripped
immediately and face-planted into the stands.”

“Cracked my tooth,” Connie said, running his tongue along his front teeth. “Got it fixed,
obviously.”

“So fucking funny,” Jean groans, running a hand through his hair. “I’ve never seen anything
that ridiculous before.”

“Did you guys see that gif I sent in the chat? That’s exactly how I felt, running into the
bleachers with a blindfold on,” Connie said with a laugh, shaking his head.

“Yes! Absolutely!” Sasha agreed, clapping her hands.

“What gif?” you ask, cocking your head to the side. You didn’t remember Connie sending
anything to the Core Four group chat recently.

The look painted on Connie’s face was that of someone who just realized they fucked up. He
looked nervously between Jean and Sasha, “Oh, uh… it was a while ago, you probably
missed it.”

Connie’s reaction had you reeling back in surprise. You would have dropped it if it wasn’t for
the way he, and both Sasha and Jean, got quiet.

“Can you show me?” you asked, pulling out your phone and clicking on the group chat. “I
haven’t seen you post anything.”

“Sorry, he’s talking about our old group chat,” Sasha admitted after sharing a look with Jean.
“We had a group chat with just the three of us and sometimes Connie forgets.”

“Yeah,” Connie agreed quickly. “It’s just muscle memory, you know?”

“Right,” you said, putting your phone away and looking at your three friends warily.
You didn’t mind that they had a group chat without you — of course, they did; they’ve been
friends for years. Were they acting weird because they thought you’d freak out about it? Or
were they acting weird for some other reason?

“I think we’re out of drinks,” Sasha said, standing up. “Connie, come with me, let’s go get
more.”

Connie stood up abruptly and followed Sasha up the hill back to the cabin. You could hear
Sasha whispering sharply to Connie, likely scolding him for his slip-up, as the two walked
back to the cabin.

Jean sat in his chair awkwardly, playing with the label on the bottle of his beer as he stared
into the fire.

“It’s ok,” you said, brows furrowed. “I’m not mad about it or anything.”

“Yeah, of course not,” Jean said with a shake of his head, looking up at you. “It’s just… it’s
always been the three of us. It’s weird to let someone else into our little group.”

“I get that,” you said with a shrug. “It’s ok. I hope you guys can feel as comfortable with me
as you do with each other one day, but it’s ok if it’s not today.”

“Yeah,” Jean said with a sigh, “Ok, cool.”

He quickly finished the rest of his drink as the two of you sat in silence by the fire, reaching
over to the side to open another bottle from the cooler. The atmosphere was eerie from the
way the fire crackled between you and the soft sounds of the water against the shore.

“You looked good today,” Jean said, eyes still on the fire. “In that swimsuit.”

You had since changed into something more comfy and warm for sitting next to the fire in the
dark, but Jean’s comment had you blushing and pulling your jacket tighter around yourself.
“Thanks.”

He looked up at you and you met his gaze. His eyes seemed to sparkle from the reflection of
the flames in them and it made your breath catch in your throat. “You look good in a
swimsuit too,” you said, trying to tease him but your tone was shaky and uncertain instead.

“Oh yeah?” he said, smirking. He took another long sip of his beer, “I thought I saw you
checking me out.”

Shit.

You looked away quickly, face burning.

“It’s ok,” he said, standing up. “Wanna see again?”

You looked back at him in shock as he started pulling his hoodie up and over his head. “Let’s
go skinny dipping,” he said, throwing his hoodie down onto his chair and smoothing down
his hair. “Come on,” he urged, slamming back the rest of his drink before tugging down his
shorts.

You didn’t even attempt to try to hide the way your eyes scanned his body. He kept his
underwear on, but it left very little to the imagination as he stepped out of his shorts,
throwing them with the rest of his clothes in a pile on his chair.

“Are you coming?”

You swallowed thickly and nodded, pulling off your own clothes until you and Jean were just
standing by the fire in your underwear. He grabbed your hand and started walking with you
toward the lake, and you were grateful for his aid because you could hardly see anything in
the dark.

When you felt the soft sand on your feet, Jean let go of your hand and walked a little ahead of
you to the shoreline. He looked back over at you, winking, before grabbing the waistband of
his underwear and tugging them off.

You weren’t given much chance to ogle him in the limited light from the moon before he
started walking into the water. “Come on!” he called, swimming out as you stood, shuffling
your weight from one foot to the next on the shore.

With a reluctant groan, you undid your bra and stepped out of your underwear, throwing them
on the beach near Jean’s underwear and running into the lake after him. You tried to cover
yourself as much as you could before submerging in the water, but Jean was too busy
swimming out to notice you.

“Wait up!” you called, struggling to swim out to where Jean was going. Upon hearing you, he
looked over his shoulder to see you much closer to shore than he was and started swimming
back to you.

The two of you finally met somewhere in the middle, treading water in the lake. As if it was
some kind of movie, the clouds parted in the sky and illuminated you both in the soft light of
the moonlight.

“Have you ever done this before?” he asked, swimming a little closer to you.

Your heart was hammering in your chest, trying to focus on keeping your legs moving so
your head kept above water. “No, never.”

“We try to do it every year,” Jean explained, looking up into the sky. “It’s like a little
tradition.”

“That’s cool.”

“I want you to be a part of these traditions, too,” he said, looking back at you and he looked
so stunningly beautiful in the moonlight. His lips were half-parted and plush, cheeks pink
from the cold.
“I’d like that,” you said. You watched as his eyes trailed down to your lips and you nervously
tugged your bottom lip with your teeth.

“It’s been the three of us for so long, it’s still weird for us to have another person in the
group,” he said, “But we all really like you. We want you to stick around. I hope us being
kind of cagey doesn’t chase you away.”

You laughed. “Never. I need to know more ridiculous stories about Connie from highschool.”

“Deal,” he responded, grinning. “We’ve got loads of those.”

“I wanna hear more about you and Sasha, too,” you said, huffing a little from the exertion of
swimming. “I wanna know what you guys were like growing up.”

“Don’t worry, Sasha has lots of ridiculous stories,” he said. “Not me, though. I was really
cool and popular in highschool so I don’t have any embarrassing stories.” He ran a wet hand
through his hair, glancing away from you after speaking.

“They don’t have to be embarrassing stories. They can be anything,” you said.

Jean swam a little closer to you and you could feel the ripples from the water against his legs
as he waded next to you. “Are you a strong swimmer?”

“Not really,” you admitted.

“We can go closer to shore if you want,” he said, jerking his head in the direction of the dock.
He spun around until his back was facing you and then looked at you from over his shoulder.
“Grab on.”

“I’m naked,” you said quickly, face burning in embarrassment.

“It’s fine,” Jean said. “Come on.”

Nervously, you reached out for him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and your legs
loosely around his hips. Your chest was pressed fully against his back and you wondered if he
could feel how hard your nipples were from the cold.

Jean started swimming closer to shore while you focused on trying not to touch him too
much. Your heart was clattering around in your chest from nerves and you wished he’d get to
shore sooner so you could hop off — a stark contrast to earlier in the evening when the two
of you were in a similar situation.

When he got to the dock, you let go of him. It was still too deep for your feet to touch, but
you were able to hang on to the wood of the dock to keep your head out of water. However,
this also meant that the tops of your breasts were peeking out from the water. As the waves
moved back and forth against the shore, your nipples were appearing and disappearing from
view.

Jean turned around to face you and you quickly covered your chest with your arm,
embarrassed. He rested his arm on the dock next to you, body so close to yours that you
could feel him radiating heat.

“So, what do you think?”

“About skinny dipping? I dunno, it’s kind of boring.”

He laughed, running a hand through his wet hair. “Yeah, it loses its excitement pretty
quickly.”

You hummed in response, looking away to avoid his intense gaze. You felt naked in front of
him, literally and figuratively. “When do we get out?”

“Now’s probably a good time,” he said, looking up over the edge of the dock. “Can you
climb up here on your own or do you need my help?”

He knew you could get up on your own. He saw you do it earlier today.

“I need help,” you said and he smirked down at you.

“Turn around.”

You turned to face the dock, resting both hands on the edge as Jean’s large, warm hands
grabbed at your hips. You were so close to him that you could feel his breath on the back of
your neck.

He lifted you up onto the dock and you felt your ass slide against his abs and his chest as he
did. You scrambled to get up on the dock without completely flashing your ass in his face and
ended up settling down on the cool wood with your hands pressed against your chest to hide
your breasts, legs crossed.

Jean placed both his palms on the dock next to you and jumped up to sit beside you. You
watched him until the water hit the v-line of his abs, darting your eyes away quickly to avoid
ogling his dick.

With a heavy sigh, Jean sat on the dock next to you, so close that your thighs were touching.
He leaned back, resting on his forearms as he looked up at the sky. You were painfully aware
that if you looked over just slightly you’d get an eyeful of his cock laying on his thigh, so you
sat rigidly straight and slightly forward to avoid the risk.

You recalled how earlier this evening, Sasha stripped down naked in front of you as the two
of you were changing into your swimsuits. Were these three just so comfortable with their
bodies that they didn’t mind being naked like this around each other?

“You’re so weird,” Jean laughed. “You’re so tense.”

“I’m trying not to look at your dick,” you laughed, body buzzing from a combination of the
alcohol and the adrenaline of the situation.

He laughed again. “I mean, you can if you want to. I’m not shy.”
“Jean,” you whined, clenching your eyes shut. If only he knew how badly you wanted to do
just that.

You felt his hand rest on your back and you almost flinched at the touch, but he was warm
and the wind was cold on your wet skin. “Relax, I’m joking. We can go back to the shore and
put our clothes on if you’re uncomfortable.”

You didn’t want to be uncomfortable like this around Jean. You wanted to be involved with
all of the traditions with him and Connie and Sasha, and if that meant being comfortable
being naked around the three of them, then so be it.

“No, I’m fine,” you said, and then you leaned back onto your elbows next to Jean, opening
your eyes to look over at him.

Jean was already looking at your face, smiling lazily as you attempted to relax on the dock
next to him. "I'm sorry if I make you feel uncomfortable," he said, scratching the back of his
head. "Like... when I touch you, and stuff."

"What do you mean?"

"You always get so tense," he tensed his shoulders to demonstrate and it made you break out
into laughter.

"Oh, no it's fine," you said, chewing on your bottom lip as you tried to keep your eyes
focused on his face. "I... I like it when you touch me."

"Ok, cool," he quickly looked up at the stars, biting his lip to hold back the grin that was
making its way across his face. "I... I like touching you."

You mimicked his actions, looking up at the stars as your heart pounded so loudly in your
chest that you were certain he could hear it. You weren't sure if it was the alcohol that was
making you feel so bold around Jean or your conversation from earlier with Sasha. The
tension in the air was so thick, you thought you might suffocate.

“You good?” he asked with a laugh. Even in the dark, you could see the pink flush on his
cheeks from the alcohol when you turned to look at him. You couldn’t help but think of how
cute he looked, and how badly you wanted to kiss him. You wished you brought your drink
down with you to the dock, you could've really used the liquid courage.

“A little cold,” you admitted, looking down at the goosebumps on your stomach before
realizing you could see Jean’s body from the corner of your eye. You quickly snapped your
vision back up to his face in alarm and watched as he laughed at you.

“It’s ok, you can look.”

You didn’t know what to say.

He leaned forward into you until your arms were flush against one another. “We can both do
it at the same time. How about that?”
His face was so close to yours that you could see each puff of his breath from the cold. His
body was so hot against yours and it had you squeezing your legs together a little tighter.

Jean wanted to look at you? The idea made you burn in embarrassment but you nodded.
“Yeah, ok. Let’s look at the same time.” Your face was so hot you felt like it might melt off
— was this really happening?

He smiled, tilting his head slightly toward you, and — shit — if you didn’t know better,
you’d think he was going to lean in and kiss you.

Jean reached a hand down his body and you immediately looked up at the stars in
embarrassment. “Sorry,” he said, breath hot against your skin as his arm rhythmically
pumped up and down, “It’s a little cold. I just want to make sure I don’t disappoint you.”

“Oh my God, Jean,” you practically whimpered, biting your lip as you kept your eyes
averted. “Should I play with my nipples to make sure they’re hard for you, too?”

You meant it as a joke, but your nerves made your voice sound so whiny and pathetic that
you instantly regretted saying anything.

But Jean’s breath audibly hitched in his throat and you found yourself looking back at his
face to see darkened eyes and flushed cheeks. “Shit — I mean, yeah, if you want to.”

Your body felt like a live wire, buzzing and exposed, as his gaze trailed from your eyes to
your lips and threatened to go even lower. He shifted his weight onto his hip as he rolled his
body to face yours, sliding his tongue across his lips before speaking, “Let’s —”

“I can’t believe you guys went skinny dipping without us!”

You and Jean both turned to look behind you, watching in alarm as a very naked Connie ran
toward you both on the dock. You shrieked, both of you rolling off the side of the dock as
Connie charged past where you two were sitting to cannonball into the lake.

Just as you surfaced, wiping water out of your eyes, Sasha jumped into the lake, too,
drenching you with the splash from her dive.

You tried to shield yourself from the splash, laughing as Sasha and Connie surfaced. Connie
rubbed at his face with the palms of his hands to get the water out of his eyes.

“When we came back from the cabin and saw your clothes by the fire, I thought for sure you
guys were fucking,” he said with a loud laugh. “But then we heard you guys splashing around
in the water.”

Connie’s comment made you blush as you swam around to the front of the dock to join the
other three. You could see Jean looking at you from the corner of your eye, but when you
turned to look at him he was turned away.

“Nothing like a late-night dip to wake you up,” Sasha said with a sigh, tilting her head up into
the moonlight. “What should we do now?”
“Maybe go back inside before we get hypothermia,” Jean said.

“Come on, it’s not even that cold,” Connie whined.

“We’ve been out here a lot longer than you two have,” Jean replied, brows furrowed in
annoyance.

“What were you two doing?” Suddenly Sasha was at your side, whispering into your ear as
her legs grazed yours.

You scrunched your nose at her as you looked between her and the bickering, splashing boys.
“It was nothing,” you said quietly, but your body was still buzzing from your conversation on
the dock with Jean.

If Connie and Sasha hadn’t interrupted you, what would’ve happened?

“Don’t worry,” she said with a smile. “We’ve got a few more days together.”
 Work Sucks
Chapter Notes

To be completely honest with you all, I don't know the difference between angst and
hurt/comfort. I think that this fic overall has both, but I don't understand the terms well
enough to confidently tag them in my chapter content warnings. Please bear with me.

someone recommended it on Tiktok which is really super cool 🥺🥺🥺

ALSO, over the weekend one of my fics, The Roommate, literally blew up because
If there are any
new readers for this story that found me because of that -- hello and welcome! Thank
you so much @gojosrealbf on Tiktok (cherryyysodapop on AO3) for sharing my story
with your followers!

CW: Explicit language, dirty talk, vaping, emotional hurt/comfort, work-related angst

“Grumpy again?”

When Eren picks you up this time, the volume is already turned down low, but you still
collapse into the seat with a huff and crossed arms.

“It’s been a long week,” you say, looking up at him with a frown.

“It’s Wednesday.”

“It’s been a long three days,” you say.

“Tell me.”

It’s now the third full week of your new job and Titan and you feel exhausted, overwhelmed,
and stupid.

You managed to submit that eight-hour file for review after only six hours, and you were
feeling pretty good about yourself. You were assigned a few other files that week and felt like
you were starting to catch on. You only had to ask Jean and Petra for help a few times.

But the following week — this week — you got all of the files back from review.

The number of review notes on each file was overwhelming. How was it possible to get so
many things wrong on such a small file? Your eight-hour file turned into a twelve-hour file
and you cried in the bathroom in shame.

Your only saving grace for the mountain of work you now have to make up (between the new
files you were assigned and the old ones you have to correct), is that Jean is equally as
swamped as you are. The two of you have been working twelve-hour days, but he doesn’t
seem to be as devastated about the workload as you are, despite his earlier reservations.

You wouldn’t feel so shitty about the situation if it wasn’t for the fact that Jean seems to be
breezing through everything at work. He’s not swamped because he’s fixing corrections, he’s
swamped because he keeps getting assigned to special projects with Erwin.

Management at Titan love Jean — it’s annoying. You’re happy for him, of course, but it’s
frustrating to see him thrive at work when you’re barely keeping your head above water. You
can’t complain to him about how things are going at work because he can’t relate. He doesn’t
understand how demoralizing it is to get back a file with so many review notes, because he’s
too busy going to meetings with the Senior Management Team.

So you’ve been suffering alone and it all comes out at once in the front seat of Eren’s car.

By the time Eren kills the engine at The Point, you’re sniffling and near tears next to him.
You feel even stupider now, having unloaded so much on to him before a hook-up — how
sexy.

He pulls the lever on the side of his chair, sliding it back until there’s more room between his
seat and the steering wheel, and then he taps his palms on his thighs.

“Come here. Come sit.”

You frown over at him, brushing a stray tear off your cheek. “What?”

“Just get over here.”

You’re a little pissed that he’s already jumping to sex without saying a word about anything
you just told him — but that’s why the two of you are here, right? The two of you haven’t
hooked up since the first time he took you out to The Point. You were too busy, too stressed,
too tired. The best you could do to maintain your end of the bargain was send him a few
nudes during the week, but even then, they were low-effort.

You shouldn’t keep him waiting any longer.

Swallowing thickly and blinking back tears, you climb over the center console and into his
lap, settling your thighs on either side of his. You gently trail your nails down his chest,
keeping your eyes low as your gut sinks with dread, but he grabs your wrists to stop you.

“No,” he says, “Come here.”

He pulls you tight against his chest with one hand firmly pressed against your lower back, the
other holding the back of your neck and nestling your face into his shoulder. You’re stiff and
awkward in his arms for a moment, but then he starts to gently rub circles in your back and
smooth down the hair on the back of your head.

“That sounds like shit. Are you ok?”

Like floodgates bursting, you melt into his chest with a sob, clutching the fabric of his shirt
tightly.

“I’m not. It’s so hard, Eren. I’m so fucking stupid, they’re going to fire me.”

He squeezes you tighter, “You’re not stupid, the job is stupid. They shouldn’t be working you
so hard right off the bat.”

You nod into his neck, “They shouldn’t.”

“I talked with Reiner the other day, sounds like he’s going through this shit, too.”

“Really?” The thought that someone else is struggling like you are gives you a small sliver of
hope. Maybe you’re not as big of an idiot as you feel.

“Yeah, don’t take it personally. It’s like trial by fire, you’ll get it eventually. You’re not going
to get fired.”

“But what if I do?” you ask, just a whimper against his skin.

“Then is that really so bad? If this job is so stressful that you’re crying at work before the
first month is up, do you actually want to keep working here?”

You know he means to be reassuring, but his comment doesn’t relax you. You can’t think of
anything more devastating than getting fired from your job. What would your friends think?
Your family? Jean?

Would all of those years at university be for nothing if you got fired from your first job?
Would you have to start over?

“I’m just so scared,” you confess. “I don’t want to be bad at this.”

“You’re still learning, it’s ok,” he says, voice soft.

Your heart feels like a lead weight in your chest, but you cry until you run out of tears before
finally pulling your face away from his neck. You use the heel of your hand to brush the tears
and drool and snot off of your face as Eren looks at you in amusement.

“I’m sorry,” you croak, throat raw. “This isn’t very sexy.”

“That’s ok.” He runs his hands up and down your waist before settling on your hips, thumbs
rubbing circles into your hip bones.

“Do you want me to blow you?”

“Not really,” he laughs. “It’s ok, we can just chill.”

“I feel bad.”

“I can see that.”

“No, I mean, about us.” You gesture vaguely between the two of you, face burning in
embarrassment. “You invited me out for sex and I just spent the whole night crying.”

“Nah, it’s ok,” he says, giving you a small squeeze. “We’re friends first, right? Before the
benefits.”

“I thought we were fuck buddies. Fuck before buddy.”

“Either way, I’m not going to have sex with a girl that’s actively crying.”

“Some guys are into that kind of thing.”

“Yeah, that’s fucked.”

You find yourself laughing for the first time all week and the weight in your chest doesn’t
feel so heavy anymore as you grip Eren’s biceps to ground yourself.

Eren’s hand trails down your thigh, sliding into the pocket of his sweatpants to pull out his
vape pen. He clicks it on at his side before holding it up to you.

“Wanna hit? It helps me when I’m stressed.”

You eye the pen warily before taking it. It’s a small, black pen with a few coloured lights.
You’ve never smoked before.

“What will it feel like?” you ask.

“You’ll feel a little lightheaded,” he says, wrapping his hand around yours on the pen. “Don’t
take too much — just a bit.”

His hand follows yours when you bring it up to your mouth, eyes fixed on the cherry as it
glows red from your inhale. He pulls the pen away from you after a beat and you promptly
cough in his face.

“Sorry,” you say, voice strained, hand on your chest as you curl into his. “It hurts.”

He pulls the pen from your hand and holds it up to his mouth. “Did you feel anything?”

“Not really.”

“Let’s try something else.”

He takes a drag from the pen, longer than the one he let you take, before shutting it off and
putting it back into his pocket. He taps your jaw with two fingers, “Open up and inhale,” he
says, voice strained.

You open your mouth for him and he closes the gap between your lips. You can feel the thick,
heavy smoke as he exhales into your mouth and you slowly breathe it in on his command.
He moves away and exhales the remainder from his nostrils as he looks up at you. “What
about now?”

Now, you can feel the buzz in your fingertips and dizziness in your head. You blink at him,
jaw slack, before swallowing and nodding.

“Yeah, I feel something.”

He smiles, amused. “How do you feel?”

“Good. Lighter.”

You open and close your hands, feeling a little uncomfortable with the buzzing in your
fingers, but the weight of Eren’s warm hands on your waist feels so nice when he squeezes
you. You almost feel like you’re drunk.

“Did you drug me?”

“Yes,” he laughs. “Are you good?”

You rest your hands on his, lacing your fingers between his and squeezing around his hands.

“Feels weird,” you say.

“Lightweight,” he scoffs.

You sigh heavily, letting your eyes fall closed, and succumb to the buzz of Eren’s vape in
your veins. You’re still stressed, but you feel a lot lighter now with the high of the hit dulling
your racing thoughts.

You open your eyes to look down at Eren but your lids feel so heavy. You move your hands
up from where they’re laced in his, back around his neck, leaning your face forward into his
shoulder.

“Jean and I went for lunch with Pieck the other day,” you say.

“Oh God, that sounds awkward as hell,” Eren laughs, wrapping his arms around your waist.
“Why did you do that?”

“I don’t even know,” you whine, cheek pressed against Eren’s shoulder. “She invited us and
Jean was all like, Yeah, totally! We would love to! and then she was all flirty with him at
lunch — barf.”

Eren’s laughter feels warm against the back of your neck. “Did you sock her in the face?”

“No,” you whine, “But I wanted to.” You sigh, “She was such a bitch during lunch, I don’t
know why Jean ever liked her.”

“Jealous?”
“Me?”

“No, her,” Eren laughs. “Maybe she’s jealous of your friendship with Jean so she’s being rude
to you.”

“Why would she be jealous? Jean and I are just friends, he actually liked her.”

“If I remember correctly, they had kind of a shitty breakup,” Eren says, letting his hands run
up and down your back softly. “I’m surprised those two are trying to be friends again after all
of that.”

“He told me it was mutual.”

“Jean is lying to you,” he says.

You hum, lifting your face up from his shoulder and carding your fingers through Eren’s hair
to brush his long locks out of his face. “Why did you and Jean stop being friends?”

Eren’s face instantly darkens at your question and he looks away from you. “It was a whole
fucking thing,” he explains, hands sliding down your back to rest back on your hips. “He’s an
asshole, that’s all I’ll say.”

“Both of you are so cagey about it,” you say, laughing sharply out of your nostrils. “It must
have been something bad.”

“Something like that,” Eren says, fingers fiddling with the bottom hem of your shirt.

You run your hands up and down his chest, gently scratching him with your nails through the
thin fabric of his shirt. The buzz of Eren’s vape makes every ripple of his abs under your
fingertips feel hot — intense — and you feel the warmth of desire pooling in your core.

“I’m no longer actively crying,” you say, voice low. He tilts his head back to face you and
you lean forward until your lips brush against his.

“No, you’re not.”

You can feel the way Eren’s lips turn up in a smirk before he softly presses them against you.
You’ve never kissed him after smoking before, and for the first time, you can taste it on him
as his tongue moves against yours.

He slides your hips forward until you’re seated directly on his crotch and then runs his hands
up your waist to your shoulder blades and pulls your body flush against his. Your arms wrap
around his neck to hold him close as your hips roll against him.

He groans into your mouth at the feeling, hands sliding back down to slip under the hem of
your shirt until his huge, hot hands return to your upper back. His fingertips dig into your
skin as his cock twitches in his pants, but he pulls away from the kiss.

“I don’t want to fuck,” he says, but his pupils are blown out and his face is flushed. “You’re
upset — and high, for the first time — I don’t want to take advantage of you.”
“You’re not,” you assure, leaning down to kiss him again, but he turns his face away.

“Let’s just chill,” he says with a tone of finality.

You audibly pout and he looks at you with amusement. “Fine, but can I stay here?”

Eren’s eyes clench shut as you roll your hips against his crotch, his cock growing hard and
heavy between you. “Fuck,” he hisses, tugging his lip between his teeth. “Yeah, for now,” he
says, voice strained.

You gently run your fingers through his hair while you look down at his face. Eren is
handsome, you’ve always thought so. With his long, dark hair, tanned skin, and bright green
eyes, he stands out in any room he’s in. Strong and lean from years of hockey and hours at
the gym, he’s like a sculpture under your fingertips.

You can’t believe he’s actually agreeing to this weird arrangement with you. Eren can have
any girl he wants, you know about his reputation from school and you’ve seen him in action
yourself at parties. Does he really hate Jean so much that he’s willing to sacrifice hooking up
with girls just to hook up with you and make Jean angry? The idea makes your heart beat a
little faster in your chest from excitement.

You realize those bright green eyes are looking up at you, his face twisted into a smirk as his
fingers dig into your hips.

“You’re such a tease,” he scolds, but his expression is playful. “Tell me more about work,” he
says. “Tell me the good stuff.”

“Well,” you tap your chin in thought with one hand while the other stays playing with Eren’s
hair. “I think I have a secret admirer at the office,” you say.

“Oh? Why’s that?”

“Every morning when I go in to work, there’s a coffee waiting for me at my desk.”

He laughs, “Wow, every day?”

You hum in affirmation. “A vanilla latte, every morning.”

“And what do you think?” Eren’s arms wrap around your waist, holding you tighter.

“It’s very nice. I wish I knew who it was, though,” you tease, smiling down at him.

“Does it brighten your day?” Eren asks, eyes shining.

“It does, actually. It’s a nice little treat in the morning to help me get through the day.”

“Well, you better hope your little admirer keeps it up,” Eren says, kissing your neck. “When
work is being shitty, it’s nice to have something to look forward to.”
“I look forward to this,” you admit, hands gripping his biceps. “I like this. Talking with you
and hanging out… also fucking, but, I like just hanging out with you, too.”

You immediately regret saying it once the words come out of your mouth. The haze of Eren’s
vape is making you feel things for him that you know aren’t real. You like Jean — you like
Jean. You can’t forget that.

Eren laughs against your skin and squeezes you a little tighter. “Don’t go falling in love with
me now,” he says quietly.

“I know,” you groan, eyes rolling, “I’m not.”

He pulls away from your neck to look up at your face and you can’t quite read the expression
on his face in the darkness. “If you’re going through shit at work, you know you can always
talk to me about it, right?”

You shake your head, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so whiny today.”

“I mean it,” he says, tone firm. “Don’t bottle it all up. You can message me at work or
whatever if you’re having a hard time and we can talk.”

“I don’t like complaining,” you admit, frowning. “It’s embarrassing for people to see me
struggle.”

“But, you know it’s normal, right? Nobody’s perfect at everything.”

You look away from Eren out the window of his car, watching the trees move softly in the
wind.

“I’m serious,” Eren presses. “Do you even talk with Jean about this kind of stuff? Connie?
Sasha?”

“Not really,” you hum, tapping on the window with your nails. “Like I said, it’s
embarrassing.”

“They wouldn’t think so,” he says, “I guarantee it.”

“Yeah,” you concede, looking back at Eren. “Sasha and Connie just wouldn’t get it. They
have totally different jobs, they wouldn’t understand.”

Eren rolls his eyes. “I’m sure they’d understand more than you think. Come on, those guys
are dumb, but they aren’t that dumb.”

“And I definitely can’t talk to Jean about stuff like this,” you say, frowning. “He’s doing great
at work. It would be so embarrassing if he knew I was struggling.”

“Why?” Eren asks, deadpan. “Because you think he won’t like you if you’re bad at
accounting? Do you realize how stupid that sounds?”
You feel your face burning in embarrassment under Eren’s intense stare. “I don’t know, Eren.
It would just be embarrassing. I already told you, we don’t really talk about our feelings with
each other.”

He rolls his eyes again. “You know, if your plan with Jean ever works — which it won’t, by
the way — you’re going to have to tell him all these little embarrassing things about yourself
to him.”

“I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it,” you huff.

“How’s that little plan going, by the way?” he asks, running his hands under the bottom hem
of your shirt. His hands are warm on your skin but you shiver from the touch.

“I don’t know, I’ve been too stressed out with work to really think about it.”

He hums in response, pulling you close to pepper kisses along your throat. “I want us to hang
out more. I know you said you’re busy and stressed and whatever, but what could be better
stress relief than getting fucked? Besides, jerking off to pictures of you isn’t as fun as the real
thing.”

You laugh but it suddenly turns into a gasping moan as you feel Eren’s tongue dance out
against the skin on your neck. He presses his lips against your neck, sucking and biting you
until you’re squirming in his lap.

“E-Eren! I thought you didn’t…”

“I don’t,” he says, pulling away from your neck with a soft pop!

You pull away from Eren slightly, hips still pressed against his. You lift your hand up to your
neck, touching the wet spot that Eren was sucking on, as if you can feel the hickey forming.

“You said no marks,” you say, brow arched.

“I’m not the one trying to make someone jealous,” he says, smirking. “No marks on me.”

“That’s a little hypocritical,” you frown.

“Aw, do you wanna mark me up?” Eren leans forward, eyes half-lidded as he looks up at you.
“Do you want everyone at the office to know I’m your little fuck toy?”

You crinkle your nose in embarrassment and quickly turn away, but Eren’s grip on your waist
tightens as you squirm.

“Come on,” he purrs and you find yourself rolling your hips against his in response. “Bite
me, baby — show everyone I’m yours.”

“For someone that doesn’t want to have sex, you’re really making it hot in here,” you say,
still looking away.
He laughs, “It’s called teasing, sweetheart. I’m keeping you all worked up and hot for me, so
when you’re home alone and it’s dark and cold,” he leans his face into your neck, breathing
hot, heavy air onto your skin, “You’ll only be thinking about me and all the things I could do
to you.”

One of his hands slides up to cup your breast through your bra, while the other trails down to
the waistband of your pants, fingers dipping under the band and sliding across your
underwear. “Think about how good I could make you feel. With my fingers, my tongue, my
cock,” he whispers, lips brushing against the shell of your ear.

“Eren,” you hiss, nails digging into his biceps as his hands roam across your torso.

The buzz from Eren’s vape has worn off, so you have to credit the tingling in your fingers to
your arousal, now. You can feel a pool of wetness building between your thighs as Eren
presses his hips up against yours, he’s hard and heavy in his sweats and you’re aching for
him.

“You’re thinking about it right now, aren’t you?” Eren asks as you squeeze your eyes shut.
“Getting so wet and horny grinding against my cock like this, huh?”

You just offer a strangled groan in response, grabbing him a little tighter as his hips grind into
yours.

“Soaking through your panties for me, I bet that cute little clit is getting so needy and
sensitive,” he says, voice low in your ear while his hands grope at you.

“I can feel how hard your nipples are through your bra,” he continues, thumb brushing over
and back on the sensitive nub. “Fuck, I bet it’d feel so good in my mouth. I could make your
pretty tits so wet with my tongue.”

“Eren,” you whine, hips grinding against his out of necessity now, as his words send you into
a heated frenzy. “Touch me, please.”

“Oh, baby, I want to,” he hisses, hand groping hard at your ass. “Can’t you feel how hard I
am for you?”

You can — he’s thick and heavy between your bodies and you reach a hand down to palm at
him through his sweats. He sucks in a sharp breath through his teeth and his fingers dig
harder into your skin.

“You’re so worked up,” he says, practically groaning as he pants against your neck. “I bet
you’d cum so fast for me.”

You try to nudge your fingers under the waistband of his sweats but suddenly his hand is
wrapped around your wrist, stilling you.

“I said, no, babe. We’re not going to fuck tonight.”

“Then stop teasing me,” you hiss through gritted teeth.

“Ok,” he whispers, kissing you softly behind the ear before letting go of you completely. He
relaxes back against his seat, hands clasped behind his head as he smirks up at you. “It’s
getting late, we should probably head back,” he nods toward the clock on the dashboard of
his car.

His eyes are dark and his face is flushed and you’re certain you look just as fucked out as he
does. You turn around to see the time, and he’s right, it’s late for a work night. Turning back
to look at his smug grin, you sigh.

“You’re the worst,” you say, still breathing hard.

“I know,” he says, grinning as you crawl off his lap and back to your side of the car with an
audible pout.

Eren adjusts his seat forward, turning on his engine and resting his hand on the back of your
headrest as he reverses out from the grassy area of The Point back to the road. “Next week, I
want to see more of you,” he says, glancing over at you.

After that — after getting you so worked up and then pushing you aside — you almost blurt
out your response in excitement.

“Of course, Eren.”

***

The next morning when you get to work, you can’t help the stupid grin that stretches across
your face when you see the vanilla latte on your desk waiting for you, even when Jean
dramatically scoffs and rolls his eyes. As you boot up your computer, you take a small sip
from your drink and feel your anxieties of the day melt away for just a moment.

The first time Eren got you a vanilla latte, you drank it begrudgingly. It was too sweet, too
milky — nothing like the espressos you liked to make for yourself in the morning.

But now, you love them.

Thanks for the coffee :)

I really appreciate it

Eren Jaeger: huh?

Eren Jaeger: wasn’t me
Eren Jaeger: :)

Ok, loser :)

A frantic tapping sound on the small half-wall of your cubicle pulls you from your
conversation with Eren. You look over to see Petra standing there with a stack of files under
her arm, looking down at you impatiently.

“Do you have a minute?” she asks. “I want to go over some things with you.”
You nod, grabbing a notepad and pen from your desk drawer. “Yeah, of course, Petra.”

“Follow me.”

She leads you down the hallway to one of the small ad-hoc meeting rooms at the far end of
the office. Titan has several large boardrooms and meeting rooms that people can book in
advance for meetings or training sessions, but they also have smaller meeting rooms that
can’t be booked in advance for times like this: when your boss wants to have an impromptu
conversation with you.

She slides open the door to one of the rooms, Pearl, and waves you in. After you settle down
in one of the chairs in the room, she slides the door shut behind her and places the stack of
files on the table. Petra all but collapses onto her chair with a huff, running her hands over
her face.

“How have things been going so far?”

“Uh, good. I think,” you say, squirming awkwardly in your chair. “I mean, you’re the one that
reviewed most of my work, you would have a better idea than I would.”

“Right,” she says, placing both palms flat on the table. “I’m not sure if you’re aware, but I’m
your office mentor, so I’m responsible for monitoring your progress and your performance.”

You wait for her to continue but she stares at you expectantly, like she’s waiting for you to
say something. You nod in response and she carries on.

“You’re not keeping up with the other new hires.”

“Oh.” Your tongue feels dry and thick in your throat. You try to swallow but your throat feels
tight and you wish you had brought your coffee with you to this meeting. “So, am I fired?”

She shakes her head, but her expression is still somber. “No. Not yet, at least. You still have
time to turn things around.”

“What can I do?” you ask, desperately. You lean forward in your seat until your elbows are
resting on the table. “I really want to do well.”

She nods, “Yeah, everyone does.”

Petra pulls open her laptop, clicking through different things on her computer as you sit in
front of her with bated breath. “I just need you to try a little harder at work, ok? You need to
pay attention to your review notes and think about them every time you open a new file.”

She looks over at you from across the table, then down at your notebook. You take the hint
and start scribbling down everything she’s saying onto the pad.

“If you have questions, come to me, right away. Don’t go to any of the other new hires, come
to me. I need you to book a meeting with me every two weeks so we can go over your
progress, too.”
You nod, afraid to speak because you might burst out into tears.

“You’re not officially in shit yet, but you’re not on a good path,” she says, frowning at you.
“By the next few weeks, if you don’t catch up to your peers, we’re going to have to take more
serious measures.”

Your eyes are burning but you try to hold yourself together as you scribble down notes.
You’re embarrassed and ashamed to be here with Petra. To have her tell you that you’re not
good enough at your job and that if you’re not careful, you might not be working at Titan for
much longer.

“We want to help you,” she says, deadpan. “Your success is important to us, but we can only
help you as much as you want to be helped.” Her words are so devoid of emotion that it
almost sounds scripted.

You wonder how many other new hires she’s had to give this speech to. And how many of
those people had been successful?

“You’re going to need to work late for a while, but don’t let that be reflected in your billables.
Do you understand what I mean?”

You shake your head.

“Whatever your file is budgeted for, that’s how many hours you spent working on it. Ok?”

You furrow your brow in confusion and cough to clear the lump from your throat. “But what
if I spent more time?”

“You didn’t,” she says, firmly. “You never go over budget.”

Then, it clicks. She wants you to lie.

“Ok, got it,” you say quietly.

“Once your files are back on budget, then we shouldn’t need to have many more of these
conversations,” she says, eyes narrow. “Do you understand?”

You nod, “Yes.”

She smiles, but it’s tight-lipped and doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “I’m really glad we had this
talk. I see a lot of potential in you.” Petra gets up suddenly and swings the sliding door open,
walking out and back to her desk without another word.

You gather your things and solemnly walk back to your desk, head low as you try to stop
from bursting into tears. On your way back to your desk, you see Jean in the lunchroom
talking with Reiner, but you don’t stop to chat with them, instead heading straight back to
your desk so you can try to get some work done.

I hate this so much :(

Eren Jaeger: what happened

Just had a meeting w Petra

She said I’m shit at my job

Eren Jaeger: lol

Eren Jaeger: she didn’t say that

Basically

Eren Jaeger: maybe SHES shit at HER job

Eren Jaeger: ever think of that?

Eren wtf

Eren Jaeger: just sayin ehehe

You sigh heavily, minimizing the chat screen with Eren and opening up one of your files.
Only fifteen review notes on this one, compared to the twenty-plus on the others. You pull up
the budget to see how you’re doing in comparison; you’ve already booked nine hours to this
file and it’s supposed to take ten.

You wonder if you’ll be able to finish it under budget or if you’ll have to eat your hours on
this file.

“Hey, a bunch of us are going out for lunch today, do you wanna come?” Jean asks, tapping
your shoulder as he walks past your desk to his own, back from the lunchroom.

You keep your head low as you respond to him, afraid that he’ll see how much of a failure
you are if he looks at you. “I don’t think I can, I’ve got a lot of work to catch up on… I think
I might be working late tonight, too.”

“Oh good, me too,” Jean says with a sigh. “Erwin assigned me to do another special project,
but I’m already booked all week. I want to get some hours in after work so I don’t have to
work all weekend on it.”

At least your ride is going to be working late, too. If Jean goes home early, you’ll have to
take the SkyTrain home alone, and it gets a little scary late at night.

“Isn’t this cool?” Jean says, and even though you’re not looking at him, you can tell he’s
grinning. “We’re working late like real office workers. Next thing you know, we’ll be sitting
in our corner offices, signing off on audits.”

After your somber conversation with Petra this morning, Jean’s comment makes you laugh.

***

You don’t look up at all from your computer once you get started on the corrections to your
file. Even when Jean leaves for lunch, you don’t look up to say goodbye, you’re so focused
on getting the review notes finished and cleared so you can get some of your time back.
You make notes for yourself in your pad for every review note left on your file: add more
relevant documentation, insert client-provided support and tie-in to numbers, and reference
back and forth where each figure comes from.

You feel like you’re learning more now than you did during training with Petra.

What was it that Eren called it? Trial by fire?

Speaking of Eren, you’re interrupted from your flow by the thick smell of vanilla cologne
and tapping on your cubicle’s half-wall.

You pull your headphones out of your ears and look up to see Eren standing at your side,
sandwich in hand, looking extra handsome and put-together in his sharp, dark blue suit.

He wiggles the sandwich in his hand before handing it out to you. “You didn’t come for
lunch, so I got you something.”

“Oh, thank you.” You take it with hesitant hands, unsure of what to think when you feel a
warmth bloom in your chest. “That’s really nice of you, Eren.”

He reaches a hand out to your desk, grabs the vanilla latte, and sloshes it around in the cup.
“You didn’t even drink any of this,” he comments, frowning.

“I’ve been really busy trying to catch up,” you say around a mouthful of food. You didn’t
realize how hungry you were until you started eating. “I’m just trying to get as much done as
I can so I don’t have to work late tonight.”

“Again?” he asks, eyebrow raised and lips pursed. “When’s the last time you went home at a
normal hour?”

“Training?” you say with a shrug.

“Hey, leave her alone,” Jean calls from his desk, frowning at Eren. “You consulting assholes
are always leaving work early. You don’t understand how much we have to hustle over here
in accounting.”

“La de da,” Eren says, rolling his eyes. “Didn’t realize this was an episode of fucking Mad
Men, sorry for wanting to have a normal work-life balance.”

“You don’t know shit, Jaeger,” Jean huffs.

“God, they’ve got the kool-aid pumping right into your veins, eh?” Eren asks, laughing and
tapping at his inner elbow with two fingers. “Whatever, I’m just trying to make sure nobody
passes out from hunger over here.”

“Eren,” you say sharply, brows furrowed.

He’s still glaring and making faces at Jean when Eren rests his hand on your shoulder. It’s
warm and comforting and he gives you a small squeeze before looking down at you. “I’m
gonna head back, but if you need anything, let me know.”
You nod in response, having just taken another large bite from your sandwich, and give him a
small wave as he walks away. Jean’s loud scoff brings your attention back over to him as he
rolls his eyes.

“Can you believe that guy? Acting like he just did you some huge fuckin’ favour by bringing
up lunch. The sandwiches were free, Oluo paid for them and charged them back to a client.
All he had to do was pack one up and bring it here. Anyone could have done that.”

“Oh,” you say.

 Performance Improvement Plan (e)
Chapter Notes

I loved reading all the comments on the last chapter lmao I really didn't expect everyone
to turn on Jean like that 😂 We only have two more chapters before we finish this arc of
the story and I'm really excited to see your reactions!

CW: Explicit language, explicit sexual content (dirty talk, fingering, vaginal sex,
unprotected, creampie), emotional hurt/comfort, work-related angst

You’re so fucking overwhelmed at work.

Listening to Petra’s advice on how to get back on track, you start eating your hours. Any time
that you spend over budget goes unrecorded so whoever reviews the file doesn’t see how
much of a fuck-up you are when you spend an additional 10 hours on an 8-hour file.

By doing this, you find yourself at the end of most days with only a few hours recorded in
your timesheet — which is a problem, because you have to book at least 8 hours to your
timesheets each day.

So what does this mean for you?

It means that you’ve been working overtime almost every single night since your meeting
with Petra, just to get 8 hours' worth of work to put in your timesheet.

It’s a fucking nightmare.

Jean’s special project with Erwin has him working late most nights too, so he hangs out at the
office with you until you’re done. Tonight, however, he finishes the project before you
manage to fill your time for today.

“How much longer do you think you’ll be?” he asks, leaning against the half-wall of your
cubicle to look down at you at your workstation.

You look over at your timesheet for the day to see that even though it’s already 6 pm, you
only have 3 hours booked for today.

“I think I’ll be here for a while still,” you say, keeping your head low to hide from Jean’s
gaze. “I have a big file due tomorrow so I want to get as much done here as I can tonight,”
you lie.

Jean hums in response, drumming his fingers on the wall of your cubicle. “I don’t really have
anything else to work on right now.”
How can Jean have nothing to work on when you’re currently in over your head?

“You can go,” you try to clip your words to hide the waver in your voice. “I can take the
SkyTrain.”

"I don't like it when you take the SkyTrain by yourself," he frowns, reaching forward to grab
your shoulder. He gives you a light squeeze and a small shake. "Especially not at night when
you're dressed in your cute little work skirts."

He nods toward your outfit and you flush in embarrassment. "I'll be fine, I'm a big girl."

"You're gonna have to beat the creeps off with a stick on your walk to the station."

"I usually beat them off with my hands," you joke, smirking and making a lewd gesture with
your fist.

"Jesus Christ," Jean says, removing his hand from your shoulder to cover his face as he
laughs. "Seriously though, are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

He hums again before pushing off the wall and walking back to his side of the cubicle. “Ok, I
guess I’ll see you at home, then.” You can hear him pulling back on his suit jacket and
putting his laptop away into his bag, but you keep your head low as you feel tears prick
behind your eyes.

“Don’t stay too late,” he says and you can hear the heel of his shoes clicking against the floor
as he walks down the hall and out of the office.

You swallow thickly and let your head hang back on the chair. You try to breathe out all of
the air from your lungs as you look up at the ceiling, still fighting back tears as the anxiety of
the evening looms above you.

If you really focus and buckle down on the files you’re assigned, you should be able to get
out of here by 11 pm at the earliest. That’s assuming that you don’t run into anything
unfamiliar, anything you don’t know how to do, or anything that takes you longer than
budgeted.

Flopping your head forward again to face the bright light of your computer screen, you take a
long, grounding breath, and then start working.

***

Just after 10 pm, you burst into tears at your desk.

You’ve been working non-stop since Jean left, motivated solely by caffeine and the thumping
music in your headphones, but it’s been hours and your vision is starting to double.

You still have another hour of billable time to make up but you can’t fucking take it anymore.
You bury your head in your hands and sob — chest heaving, body shaking, and spit and drool
everywhere.

You’re a mess and you can’t pull yourself together. You know you need to brush away the
tears and focus for the last hour but it’s so late already and you just want to be at home in
bed. Your chest hurts, your head hurts, your eyes hurt, everything hurts. The idea of coming
back to work and doing this all again tomorrow makes you feel like you’re drowning.

“Is everything alright here?”

The familiar, deep voice at your side breaks you out of your sorrow. You look away in alarm,
wiping away as much of the mess on your face as you can while still keeping your head low
and facing away from the source of the voice.

“Yes, I’m fine,” you say quickly.

“I thought I was the only one here,” he laughs and you can hear him pulling out the chair
from the desk next to you and settling into it with a heavy sigh. “Mind if I sit?”

Yes, you do. You want him to leave you alone, but you’re so sad and weak that instead, you
say, “Ok.”

He doesn’t say anything, just sitting with you in silence as you sniffle and brush the tears
from your face until you feel like you’re put together enough to finally look at him. You
swivel your chair around until it’s facing him, looking over at the tall, broad blonde sprawled
out on the chair next to you.

“Why are you here so late, Reiner?”

“Probably the same reason as you,” he says with another heavy sigh.

Reiner looks ill. Nothing like the loud, cheerful guy from week one at Titan. His cheeks are
gaunt, eyes hallowed and dark, beard and hair unkempt.

You offer him a sympathetic smile and try to laugh, wanting to make light of the situation,
but a choked sob comes out instead.

“This fucking sucks,” you choke.

“Yeah,” he nods, another sigh. Each breath seems to make him curl more and more into
himself, he looks so small. “How long have you been working late? Like, when did Petra talk
to you?”

“It’s been about a month now.”

“Me too.” He looks up from the ground at you — there doesn’t even seem to be any light in
his eyes anymore.

You look at each other, exhausted, but somehow you feel lighter. It’s nice to know someone
else is struggling just as much as you are, even though this feeling sucks.
“Eren told me you’ve been having a hard time too,” he says, “I’ve been meaning to talk to
you, but it’s hard to find the time when I’m so busy eating hours.”

You laugh, “No kidding.”

“For me, I’m slow,” he says, laughing weakly. “I think I’m doing great at everything. I’m
getting files done, and yeah, there’s review notes, but for the most part, it’s not too bad. But
then when I go to put in my time, I realize I’ve just wasted 6 hours doing a 2-hour task.”

You nod in understanding. “If it helps at all, I’m just stupid. I don’t usually go too over
budget on files — at first go, at least. But when I submit them to review, I get like…
hundreds of review notes! That’s how I blow the budget,” you explain.

“You’re not stupid,” Reiner says with a soft smile. “This shit is hard. I thought training was
good with Petra, but she didn’t really tell us how to do this.” He gestures vaguely at your
computer.

“I dunno about that,” you scoff. “Have you talked with Jean lately? He’s like the Golden
Child of Titan these days.”

“Fuckin asshole,” Reiner laughs, running a hand down his face. He scratches at the stubble
on his chin, cheek sucked into his mouth as he stares blankly out the window. “Fuckin
asshole,” he repeats, a little more harshly.

“At least we weren’t part of the first round of firings,” he says suddenly, lips in a thin line.

“People have been fired?” you ask, feeling your heart fall heavy into your stomach.

“Yeah, the lost causes. They fired like three people last week.”

“Do you think they’ll do another round of firing?”

“Definitely,” he scoffs. “If we don’t show improvement before the second round…” He
draws a line across his neck with his index finger.

You swallow thickly. “Oh, wow.”

“I’m thinking about quitting,” Reiner says, looking down at his hands. “It’s better to leave on
your own terms with some dignity than walking out with security, I figure.”

“What are you going to do?” you ask, voice hushed like it’s a secret, despite there not being
anyone else nearby.

He shrugs. “Maybe I’ll go travel. Maybe I’ll go back to school and do something different.
Maybe I’ll go back to Marley and see if Bertl’s dad’s firm will take me,” he shrugs again.
“I’m not sure.”

You sit back in your seat, stunned by Reiner’s confession and the two of you sit together in
silence, letting his words hang in the air around you.
“Are you here alone? No Jean?” he asks, finally looking up from his hands.

“He left hours ago.”

“How much later are you staying?”

“I have another hour.”

He nods, lips flattened into a tight line as he looks back down at his hands. “Do you want me
to stay here with you until you’re done? So you’re not alone?”

“Yeah,” you say, swallowing. “I’d like that.”

Reiner sits with you, half asleep in his chair as you work through your last hour. The sound of
his heavy breathing next to you helps soothe you through your panic.

Although you sympathize with his struggle, it’s really nice to hear that someone else is going
through the same thing that you are. Working with Jean every day and seeing him succeed
has been so demoralizing — you feel like you can’t even talk about work with Jean anymore
because you’re so embarrassed.

So, you’ve been confiding in Eren.

After the other night in Eren’s car when you sobbed to him for over an hour and then didn’t
suck his dick, he’s been really good to you. The only thing you haven’t told him is how
you’ve been eating your hours.

The daily coffees are normal, but now he messages you throughout the day to check in, gets
you lunch when you don’t have time to leave, and sometimes when you’re really stressed, he
makes you go on a walk with him around the office.

He’s been a really good friend to you, and so you feel even worse about not having time to
hook up with him. You’re certain that you’re the worst fuck buddy he’s ever had, since you’re
only available once a week — if that — but he still sticks around. He’s still interested in
seeing you.

You try to ignore the way your stomach flutters when you think about it.

When you’re finally able to fill in 8 hours in your timesheet, you release a heavy sigh of
relief and start packing up your things.

“I’m all finished now, Reiner,” you say, gently shaking his knee to wake him up.

He rubs his eyes with the heels of his hands, yawning loudly. “Wow, it’s been an hour
already?” You nod. “Do you need me to walk you to your car?”

You shift awkwardly from one foot to the next as you grab your jacket from where it lays on
the back of your chair. “I didn’t drive… I have to take the SkyTrain home.”
“It’s really late,” he says, brows furrowed and lips pursed in concern. “You shouldn’t go there
alone. Maybe Jean can come pick you up? The two of you live together, right?”

“We’re like an hour away from here, I don’t want to wake him... It’s ok, Reiner,” you assure,
smiling at him. “I’ll be ok by myself.”

“At least let me walk you to the station,” he says, standing up and you agree.

Reiner continues to frown at you as you fiddle with your phone awkwardly. When it lights
up, you see that you have a message from Eren from a few minutes ago. You slide to unlock
your phone, reading Eren’s message and responding quickly as you and Reiner walk together
to the elevators.

wyd ;)
pics?

I’m actually just leaving work rn

what?

Yeah
Omw to the SkyTrain

stay at the office

i’ll come pick you up and take you home
don’t go on the skytrain so late
i’ll be there in like 5

You have to bite your lip to hide your smile as you look down at your phone before stuffing it
into your jacket pocket, standing by the elevators as Reiner hits the button to call one up.
“Actually, Reiner, it looks like Eren’s going to come get me.”

Reiner looks over at you with a sleepy smile. “Ok, that’s good,” he pauses, “He’s a good
guy.”

This is the first time you’ve ever heard someone say something nice about Eren and it catches
you off guard. “Yeah, he is,” you agree.

You wait down in the main lobby of the building with Reiner until you see Eren’s car pull up
out front. The music is low when you get in and Eren’s brows are furrowed in concern when
he looks over at you.

Reiner walks over to Eren’s car with you and leans his head down to nod at Eren. “Thanks
for picking her up, make sure she gets home safe.”

Eren nods back, but his jaw is tight. “You need a ride?”

“Nah, I live just a few blocks over.” Reiner gestures vaguely down the street. “I’ll see you
guys tomorrow.”
He shuts the door closed and waves at you both through the window before walking in the
direction of his place.

“You must live close by. That was really fast,” you say, hoping to avoid the probing questions
etched on Eren’s face, but he deflects your attempt.

“Why are you working so late with Reiner?” he asks, turning his attention to the front and
pulling out onto the road.

"I wasn't working with Reiner," you explain, looking down into your lap. "He was just there
late, too."

"Ok," Eren hums, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel. "Why were you working
so late, period?"

“I have a big file due tomorrow so I wanted to get as much done here as I could tonight.”

“You're a bad liar,” he says, “What’s the real reason?”

You sigh. “Petra told me to eat my hours so I can get back on track, so I have to work extra so
I have some billables to book to my time.”

“What the fuck, don’t do that.” Eren’s still focused on the road but you can see the crease
between his brows deepen from your explanation. “If it takes you 10 hours to do an 8-hour
job, then so be it.”

“But, it doesn’t,” you say sadly, “It takes me more like 12 hours.”

When your voice cracks around your words, Eren reaches his hand out to rest on your knee.
The warmth from his palm is comforting and you feel like bursting into tears all over again.

“Are you ok?” he asks, voice soft.

You just sigh in response, unable to answer with the tightness in your throat.

“Is there anything I can do?”

“I’m so stressed,” you say weakly. “I hate this. I’m not cut out for this job.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not right now,” your voice wavers around every word as the tears start falling from your
eyes. “I just want to be sad right now, ok?”

He nods, lifting his hand from your knee to turn the volume knob for his music a little louder.
He lets you cry in the seat next to him and he keeps his eyes on the road and his hand on your
knee, giving you space without making you feel alone.

***
“I hope you feel better tomorrow,” he says, turning down the volume of the music as he pulls
up to the front of your house. “Or, today, I guess,” he says, gesturing to the clock on his
dashboard. It’s past midnight.

“Are you going to drive home?” you ask, throat sore. “It’s so late.”

“It’s fine,” he says, but he lifts the back of his hand up to his mouth to hide a yawn. “I drive
faster when I’m alone, so it won’t take me long to get home.”

You frown and brush the tears away from your face, you can feel how puffy your face is from
crying. “You should stay the night.” He quirks an eyebrow up at your suggestion and you
quickly add, “If that’s ok. I don’t know if that would be too relationship-y for you.”

Eren laughs, “I didn’t think I was allowed to be in your house anymore.”

“Just as long as we don’t have loud sex,” you answer.

“Loud — got it,” he says, killing the engine and unbuckling his seatbelt. “I actually have a
change of clothes in my gym bag, so I could even drive you to work in the morning if you
want.”

“Jean and I usually carpool together.”

“Right.”

The two of you get out of the car and you wait for him by the trunk to grab his gym bag. The
porch light is on and the front door is unlocked so you don’t have to fumble with your keys
when you get in.

You follow Eren to your room, shutting the door behind you as he throws his stuff on the
floor.

“Do you need a toothbrush or anything for bed?” you ask, watching as he starts to pull off his
hoodie.

“Nah, I’m good. I brushed before seeing you,” he says with a wink and you turn away as he
starts to slide off his sweats. “Just go do your night routine or whatever and come join me
after.”

You nod in response, leaving your bedroom to go to the bathroom. You brush your teeth and
wash your face as quietly as you can to avoid waking up your roommates as you hear Eren
thumping around in your room. The cool water feels nice against your swollen skin and you
hope the puffiness goes down before the morning.

When you get back into your bedroom, Eren is nestled under the covers, with no sign of
disturbance in your room from whatever he was doing to cause so much noise earlier. You
change out of your clothes and slide into bed next to him, falling asleep almost as soon as
your head hits the pillow.

***
You wake up in the morning to a vibration against your back.

Blinking awake, you find yourself cuddled into Eren’s chest with his arm wrapped around
your waist. He stirs awake too, lifting his arm from around you and shutting off the vibrating
alarm on his watch.

“What time is it?” you ask blearily, still feeling half-asleep.

“It’s 5 am,” he croaks, voice gravelly from lack of use as he stretches his arm up over his
head before bringing it back down to your waist. “What time do you usually wake up?”

“Not until six.” You rub the sleep from your eyes as Eren’s palm rubs circles in your back
through the thin fabric of your tank top. “Why do you wake up so early? I thought you lived
close to the office.”

“I usually go to the gym in the morning,” he explains, ducking his head down into your neck.
“How are you feeling?”

“Ok,” you hum, trying to ignore the sinking in your stomach as you think about going in to
work today.

He kisses your neck softly — slow and wet. “You’ll be ok. Everyone can see how hard
you’re working and how much shit you’re getting done.”

You chuckle quietly as he presses more kisses into your neck. “Thanks, Eren, but it doesn’t
matter how much shit I get done if it’s all wrong.”

“You’re so hard on yourself,” he tsks, pulling his head away from your neck to look down at
you. “You’re a smart girl, you know that, right? I have faith in you.”

You roll your eyes. “Thanks, Eren.”

“No, I mean it,” he insists. “You used to tutor Jean, I remember. Armin tutored pretty much
everyone on the team back in uni, but Jean always went to you. He’s only doing well at work
right now because of you.”

You hum noncommittally, burying your face into Eren’s chest while he continues to rub soft
circles on your back.

Eren leans his head down to press against your neck, squeezing your body tight against his.
“It’ll all work out,” he assures and you find yourself relaxing, tense shoulders softening as he
whispers against your skin. “You’re a fighter. You got this, I know you do.”

“Thanks, Eren,” you say, and this time it doesn’t sound sarcastic.

“You’re ok?”

“I’m ok,” you assure.

He peppers soft kisses along your jawline and throat and you gasp in pleasure. “Since I’m not
going to the gym today, I’m going to need some other form of exercise.”

His words send a jolt of arousal down to your core and you’re suddenly aware of the stiffness
of his cock pressed against your lower stomach.

“My roommates are sleeping,” you whisper, a pathetic excuse as you grab at Eren’s back.

“I can be quiet,” he hums, gently biting your shoulder. “Can you be quiet?”

“I can be quiet,” you respond.

“Then roll over.”

You do as he asks, rolling over onto your other side until your back is pressed against his
chest. His hands roam across your breasts, rolling your nipples between his fingers through
the fabric of your tank while he grinds his dick against your ass. Maybe it’s because it’s early
and you’re still half-asleep, but you’re finding every touch adding more and more haze to
your brain.

You gasp as his fingers pinch at your nipples and his lips press against your neck. You roll
your hips back into his crotch and feel a burn of arousal course through you as he groans into
your skin.

“Eren, I —”

“Shh,” he scolds, reaching one hand up to cover your mouth while the other pushes your
shorts and underwear down off of your hips. “Quiet, remember?”

You kick your shorts off and are suddenly grateful for his hand on your mouth as he spreads
your thighs open, fingers sliding along your already-slick entrance as you moan into his
palm.

“It’s too bad. I hate it when you hold back,” he whispers, using your wetness to coat his
fingertips as he swirls them around your clit. You can hear the hitch in his voice when you
roll against him again while his fingers apply constant pressure to you as you writhe in his
arms.

You hook one hand around your knee to hold yourself spread open for him as he plays with
your pussy. Your breath becomes more and more ragged against his palm as he brings you
closer and closer to the edge. He hasn't even slid a finger inside of you yet, just focusing all
of his energy on swiping quick circles around your clit as your breathing deepens.

His hips thrust against you with a sense of urgency, his clothed cock sliding between the meat
of your ass as he grunts into your ear. You can feel how hard he is against your ass, thrusting
against you as his hot breath tickles the side of your neck. The growing heat in your gut
intensifies with every tight circle of his fingers against your skin and you find yourself
whimpering and whining into Eren's palm as it presses tightly against your mouth.

“I want to fuck you so bad,” he whispers and it completely sends you over the edge.
You tremble in his arms, pussy fluttering around nothing as your orgasm overtakes you. Your
moans and whimpers are muffled by Eren’s hand on your mouth, but his groan of approval
rings loudly in the room.

“Good girl,” he grunts, face pressed against your neck. “Get that pussy nice and wet for my
cock, baby.”

When you stop shaking against him, he removes his hand from between your legs to pull
down his underwear. He shifts his hips backward until the soft, leaking tip of his cock is
brushing against your folds, the lewd noises of his tip against your wetness seeming louder in
the silence of the morning. You can't help but buck your hips backward, eager for him to fill
you when he teases your entrance.

You’re tight around him when he pushes into you. Despite your earlier orgasm, you squeeze
Eren’s cock as he slowly — agonizingly — slides inside of you. Eren's cock is so hot and
thick as it pushes against your tight walls and your eyes roll back into your head from the
feeling of being completely filled.

His hand slides up to replace yours around your knee, propping his own leg up behind you
for added leverage as he starts to rock his hips back and forth against yours. “Fuck,” he
whispers and it sends chills down your spine. “What a great fucking way to start my
morning.”

The angle has him directly pushing against your sweet spot with every thrust and you’re
struggling to keep your eyes open as he hits it again and again and again. Eren’s pace is slow
to prevent any more sounds than his laboured breathing and the faint squeaking of your
mattress and it’s driving you into a frenzy, hips thrusting back for more and more. You let
your hand slide down between your legs to replace his and swirl your own fingers around
your wet clit for added stimulation as Eren fucks into you.

"Can't get enough of me?" he teases and you audibly whimper in response.

He grunts into your neck as you squeeze around him. Both of you are sweaty from the heat of
the room and his hips slide easily against yours. Despite his pace, each thrust has you
trembling in his arms as you near release.

“I want to feel you cum,” he says, and you think he says it a little louder than he intends
because he immediately presses his lips into the nape of your neck to muffle any other sounds
as he starts to increase his speed.

The squeaking of the mattress is accompanied by the soft slapping of your skin as he starts to
fuck you a little faster. His new pace has you shaking and gasping into his palm, squeezing
tighter around his cock as he pushes you closer to another orgasm.

With another audible whimper, you feel the coil snapping in your core from the constant drag
of Eren’s cock against that tight bundle of nerves inside of you. You squeeze hard around his
dick as your thighs fall closed, gasping and moaning into Eren’s hand as you cum around his
cock, pussy pulsing rhythmically around him as he fucks you through your contractions.
“That’s it, baby — fuck, you get so tight when you cum.”

He groans from deep in his chest and rolls you over onto your stomach, throwing his leg over
your hips until he’s straddled above you. Eren reaches out for the headboard with one hand,
pulling it toward him to prevent it from knocking forward with his thrusts while his other
hand grabs at your ass. You curl your arms underneath your pillow and pull it tight against
your mouth to muffle your cries.

Eren moans breathily above you, frantic as he fucks into the tight heat of your pussy with
more urgency. All regard for sound management is gone as his hips pound into yours, hips
slapping against your ass as you arch back into him. He spreads your ass open with the palm
of his hand, watching his thick, wet cock as it disappears inside of your tight heat.

“Fuck, you’re so good to me. Can’t get enough of this pretty little pussy,” he grunts, hand
pulling back before connecting with the meat of your ass with a loud slap!

This new angle has you seeing stars, drooling, and panting into your pillow as the bed creaks
beneath you. You’re loud, wet, and messy but it feels so good you can’t think straight.

You cum again, or maybe you’re still feeling the shockwaves from the last one, as your pussy
clenches around his cock — so hard it almost hurts as he fucks into the wet tightness of your
cunt. Eren’s fingers dig marks into your ass as he breathes out a strangled groan, cock
twitching inside of you through his frantic thrusts as he shoots hot ropes of cum inside of
you.

Eren slows his pace gradually until his hips press flush against yours and both of you are
breathing hard in the heat of the room. You can already feel the mess sliding out from inside
of you against your thighs as his cock twitches against your tight, swollen walls.

He shifts his hips backward, sliding his cock out and resting back down on the bed next to
you. For warmth, you curl up into his arms and he pulls the blankets back up over your
shoulders.

“I thought you said you could be quiet,” you mumble, lips pressed against his clammy neck.

When he laughs you can feel the vibrations in his chest. “Whoops.”

Your thighs feel sticky and gross when you press them together and you squirm in discomfort
as Eren kisses the top of your head. “What time is it?” you ask.

“Uh, almost six,” he says, shifting his wrist on your back so he can look at his watch. “Time
to get up.”

You groan into his chest, this time in frustration as all of your stress and anxiety from the
night before hits you like a freight train. Another day of eating time and working late —
great.

“Are you tense again already?” he scoffs. “I think there was only ten minutes last night when
you actually relaxed.”
“How would you know? You were already asleep when I came to bed.”

“No, I wasn’t. I was waiting for you to get to bed so I could give you a hard time about all
those pictures.”

You turn around to look at the shared wall between your room and Jean’s where Eren is
pointing to see your collage of photos from university. Mostly pictures of the Core Four
throughout school, but there are some of your old friends and family from back home.

“What about it?” you grumble, turning back to look up at him.

“You don’t have a single picture of me up there.”

You laugh, a little louder than you should at this hour, and quickly cover your mouth with
your hand to muffle it. “Are you really still concerned about that?”

“I can see at least five or six pictures up there of Connie and you don’t have a single one of
me?”

“Oh my God, Eren, we're barely friends,” you roll your eyes.

"Barely friends?" he repeats, mouth agape in mock outrage.

“If you and I ever take a picture together I promise I’ll put it up on the wall.”

“What about the office?”

“Yes, fine, the office, too.”

He grins in satisfaction, finally looking back down at your face from your photo collage wall.
His eyes are soft in this light and you reach out a hand to brush the hair from his forehead.
Eren’s grin shrinks into a soft smile as he looks down at you and you can feel his hands
tensing against your back.

bzz - bzz - bzz

“Is that your alarm?” he asks as you roll over to silence your phone on your nightstand.

“Yeah,” you say, your torso twisted away from him as you fiddle with the lock to shut it off.
“Time to wake up.”

“God, you even have photos of them on your lock screen!” Eren whines dramatically,
grabbing your phone in your hand and tilting it toward him.

“They’re my friends, what do you expect?” you laugh, snatching it back from him.

Eren sits up from the bed, stretching both hands over his head as you feel around on the floor
for your pajama shorts. He climbs overtop of you to get out of bed, picking up his clothes
from the ground and getting redressed in last night’s outfit.
“Do you want to shower first?” you ask, lifting your hips to slide your shorts back on.

“No, I think I’m gonna just head home,” he says. He pulls his hair tie from his wrist, biting it
between his teeth as he runs his fingers through his hair to comb out his sweaty locks. You
watch as he pulls it all to the back of his head before grabbing the tie from his mouth and
pulling his hair back into a messy bun.

“What?” he smirks, eyes meeting yours. “Are you staring at me?”

You look away quickly, stammering around an answer.

“Whatever,” he dismisses, grabbing his stuff from the floor. “Are you going to walk me out?”

“You know the way,” you say, rolling your eyes but crawling out of bed after him. You follow
him out of your bedroom and into the hallway, stopping at the door to the bathroom. “I’ll see
you at work, I guess,” you say, awkwardly.

You aren’t sure what the proper way to say goodbye to your fuck buddy is after spending the
night together. Are you supposed to kiss him? Hug him? Shake his hand?

“Yeah, I’ll see you,” he smiles. Eren almost seems awkward too, a contrast from his usual
arrogant self, but when his eyes shift from your face to something behind you, his smug grin
and cocky demeanor returns.

“Good morning,” he says brightly.

“Eren,” comes the rugged voice behind you.

“Did we wake you?” Eren asks with a shit-eating grin painted across his face.

“Eren,” you scold, frowning.

Jean doesn’t respond and just walks down the hallway to the kitchen, solidly shouldering
Eren as he passes by. Eren stumbles slightly but otherwise makes no reaction as Jean walks
past. Instead, he looks down at you again and whispers a playful See you later, before
walking to the front door and leaving.

***

Jean doesn’t talk to you all morning, which is fine — it gives you an opportunity to catch up
on sleep in the car on the way to work. He has to shake you awake after parking in the
underground garage because you’re completely knocked out after less than five hours of
sleep the night before.

The only time he speaks to you is when the two of you are standing in the elevator together
and he huffs, "You could have called me. You didn't need to call Eren," but before you can
respond, the doors slide open and Jean walks out ahead of you.

When you settle into your desk, you take a few calming sips of your vanilla latte as you wait
for your computer to boot up. Opening your email, you see that you have an invitation from
Petra for a meeting in Erwin’s office in about five minutes.

You immediately break out into a panicked sweat.

You gather your things quickly: a pad of paper, a pen, and your drink, and make your way
over to Erwin’s office. The cup is shaking in your hand but you try to focus all of your energy
into putting one foot in front of the other as you walk down the hallway to the far end of the
building, stopping just short of the door to Erwin’s corner office.

It’s sitting half-open and you can see Petra and Erwin sitting inside already. Both of them are
fiddling around on their computers, not speaking to one another, and you swallow thickly
before gently knocking on the door.

Erwin looks up immediately and smiles at you. “Come in, please,” he says, gesturing to the
empty chair across his desk next to Petra. You walk in quickly, but before you get too far, he
quickly adds, “Shut the door behind you.”

You settle into the seat next to Petra and set the pad of paper on your lap like a table to set
your drink on. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t sure what to bring, the invitation didn’t say.” You hope
that the shaking in your voice isn’t immediately obvious to your two superiors.

“Petra,” Erwin says sternly, glancing over at the girl who hasn’t looked up from her computer
once.

She hums in response, eyes still fixed on her computer. She tilts her head up to face Erwin,
typing the last of whatever message or memo she’s working on before snapping her laptop
shut and darting her eyes up to meet his face with a tight-lipped smile.

Erwin returns her smile before looking back over at you. “How are things?”

Your back feels sticky with sweat as your eyes dart between Erwin and Petra. “Things are
good.”

Erwin smiles and nods. “The management team has noticed you’ve been struggling with
work and that you aren’t quite catching on to things at the same pace as your peers.”

You focus all of your energy on holding back tears, nodding as Erwin continues.

You’re about to get fired.

“At Titan, we want to make sure that all of our team members are provided with adequate
support and opportunity to succeed. You were selected and hired for your position based on
your grades, your extracurriculars, and the potential growth we saw in you. It seems like we
aren’t supporting that growth in a way that lets you thrive.”

He gestures to the papers on his desk and you look down at them for the first time. Your
name is written in the top corner, followed by Performance Improvement Plan.

“Petra, the HR team, and I have designed this work plan for your success,” he flips through a
few of the pages. “It identifies specific areas that you are struggling in and our suggested
tools to improve. At the end of each week, I want you to meet with Petra and the managers of
your files to go over your learning and document it here,” he flips to the last page, pointing to
a table. “By the end of your probation period, I need to see you on par with the rest of your
peers.”

You glance over at Petra, but her eyes are glazed over as she stares at Erwin. Is she even
listening? You wonder how many times she's sat through meetings like this — maybe that’s
why she’s so bored.

“Do you understand?” he presses, folding the papers back over to its cover page. He pushes
the stack toward you with his fingertips, glancing down and then back up at you.

You take the stack off his desk and set it on your lap with the notepad. “Yes, sir. I
understand.”

He smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I need you to sign the last page of that document and
return it to me, but I don’t want you to do that until you’ve read and understood everything at
your own pace. I understand that this might be overwhelming —”

That’s a fucking understatement.

“— but it’s important that you fully understand this process and how we are going to support
you.” Erwin leans back in his chair, arms outstretched on the desk as he looks over at you.

You nod, squeezing your coffee so tightly in your hand that you worry you might crush the
cup. It’s the only thing keeping you together right now as Erwin stares down at you.

“Is that all?” Petra says, the first words she’s spoken since the start of the meeting.

“Yes, that’s all,” Erwin says with a small nod, glancing between you and her. “Petra, please
take care of her.”

Petra nods in response and stands up from her seat. You do the same, following her out of
Erwin’s office and into the hallway feeling numb. The two of you walk together to the
bathrooms before she stops, looking over at you with a frown.

“I don’t like this any more than you do,” she says. “Figure out this week whether you’re
going to quit or not, because I don’t have time to babysit you through this plan if you don’t
have intentions of actually improving.”

Her tone is harsh, snapping through the fog of your anxiety and stress as you stare at her
blankly. She waits a beat for you to respond, but you’re too numb to, so she turns on her heel
and walks off back to her desk, leaving you alone in front of the bathrooms.

You look down at the papers in your hand, detailing all the areas you’re struggling with —
everything you’ve fucked up on. Your vision blurs, your hands shake, and you don’t realize
you’re crying until you see your tears staining the page.

You feel big hands grab at your upper arms, pushing you into the single-person accessible
bathroom and shutting the door closed behind the two of you. Your eyes are too blurry to see
what’s going on, but the smell of vanilla when strong arms wrap around you gives you a
sense of comfort.

He squeezes you close into his chest as you sob against his shirt, both arms hanging limply at
your side, barely holding your coffee upright from spilling. When the tears finally stop falling
and your breathing steadies, he still holds you close into the warmth of his body.

It’s not until you gently lean back that his arms fall back at his sides and you look up with
bleary eyes at his concerned expression. Brows knitted in the center of his forehead, lips
pursed, and emerald eyes soft with worry.

“Is everything ok?”

You lift your drink up to your lips, taking a slow, shaky sip as your other hand holds out the
papers to Eren. He takes them from you, eyes lingering on your face before shifting down to
the papers in his hands. He flips through them as you walk over to the bathroom mirror,
trying to fix your makeup as best as you can while your bloodshot eyes stare back at your
devastated expression.

“This is good,” he says, surprising you. He points down at the page, fingertips jabbing into
each point as he speaks, “They say in here everything that you need to focus on to improve
and how to do it. It’s like a roadmap for accounting, you’ll be fine if you follow this.”

You bark out a sharp laugh. “That’s optimistic.”

“I’m serious,” he says, looking up at you. “I have total faith that if you follow this plan,
everything will be ok.”

You frown up at him. “Or I could just quit.”

“If you don’t fight, you can’t win,” he says sternly. “So fight, dammit. I told you, you’re a
smart girl. Don’t get discouraged over some stupid bullshit.”

His expression softens as he looks down at you, resting a hand on each of your shoulders and
brushing his thumb across your collarbones. You find yourself smiling back up at him as you
consider his words.

“Ok, fine,” you say, shaking your head, “I’ll fight.”

“Good,” he murmurs, leaning down toward your face and pressing his lips softly against your
temple.

Eren walks you back to your desk with one arm hooked around your shoulders, papers in
hand, and the other flicking through the pages in front of your face. You sling one arm around
his waist as the two of you walk down the hall together, steadying yourself against him.

“This stuff doesn’t look too hard,” he teases, “Why don’t we trade jobs?”

“I don’t want to do consulting,” you groan.

“Why do you make it sound like it’s so bad? We have so much fun on the other side of the
office.”

“On the dark side?” you tease.

He smirks down at you, pinching your side. “Yeah, over on the dark side.”

When you come up to your desk, you’re annoyed to see Pieck leaning against the half-wall of
Jean’s cubicle. She’s giggling and laughing about something with him as he looks up at her
from his chair, both hands clasped behind his head causing the fabric of his shirt to strain
against his chest.

She notices you before Jean does, looking over with a smirk on her face. “Look, it’s Titan’s
favourite couple.”

“We’re not a couple,” Eren answers quickly, removing his arm from around your shoulders.
The speed and tone of his response surprises you and you try to ignore the way your heart
sinks into your stomach.

“Where were you?” Jean asks. “You ran off as soon as we got in.” He must not be mad
anymore after your awkward run-in this morning before work because he’s actually talking to
you now.

Before you have a chance to respond, Pieck starts giggling.

“Mina said she saw the two of you duck into the bathroom together,” she hums, resting her
hand on her chin as she speaks. “Sounds like you had a little early morning romp.”

“Again?” Jean snaps as his face hardens. You’re not sure if you’re referring to the fact that
this would be the second time in the office bathroom, or the second time this morning.

“No, it wasn’t like that —”

“But, you did go in the bathroom together. Didn’t you?” Pieck presses, her sleepy eyes
narrowing into a vicious glare.

You look at Eren for help but when you see the mischievous smirk on his face, you know he’s
only going to make things worse. “She said she needed help spreading her sheets or
something?” he croons, resting his hand back on your shoulder. “But, now that I’m thinking
about it, she probably meant spreadsheets.”

“You’re disgusting,” Jean groans, rolling his eyes so hard his head falls back against his chair.

“That’s cute. A little accounting pun,” Pieck hums. She reaches her hand out to rest on Jean’s
bicep and he visibly stiffens at her touch, eyes widening as he looks up at her. “Jean, why
don’t we get out of here so you can appreciate my assets.”

“What about a consulting line?” Eren says as you watch Jean’s chest and neck bloom dark
red. “Baby, are you a PowerPoint, because I’d love to see you slide on my deck.”
“Jesus Christ, Eren,” Jean mumbles, looking over at him sharply, but his expression lacks bite
as his face turns pink. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Despite the boy's bickering, you can’t tear your eyes away from Pieck’s hand on Jean’s arm
and the way she gently strokes and squeezes his bicep. You look up at her face to see her eyes
fixed on your face, eyes glinting.

“Shouldn’t you be working on some fancy B-tech project?” you ask, crossing your arms over
your chest.

“Shouldn’t you be crying at your desk?”

Her words shock you into silence. How did she know about that?

“Crying?” This time, Jean’s interjection is accompanied by a furrowed brow and a look of
concern. He leans forward in his seat, brushing Pieck’s hand off his arm. “You were crying?”

You don’t want to talk about this, not in front of Pieck. Eren must feel you tense from his grip
on your shoulder and he steps in front of you, it almost feels protective as Pieck continues to
smirk at you.

“It’s nothing,” you say quickly, averting your eyes from Pieck and Jean, feeling grateful that
you have Eren’s broad shoulders to hide behind.

“You were crying?” Jean repeats, standing up from his seat to approach you, pushing past
Pieck and Eren. He rests his hands on your arms and gently rubs them up and down as he
cranes down to look at your face. “Hey, what’s going on?” he presses when you don’t answer
right away.

You look over at Eren and see that he has a hand raised to pull Jean away from you, but you
give him a quick shake of your head and he lowers it. Eren huffs, running a hand through his
hair and then walking away and down the hall. You look over Jean’s other shoulder to see if
Pieck is still hovering nearby, but it looks like she’s gone, too.

You swallow thickly and just hold up the papers in your hands. Jean glances down at the
pages before grabbing them, standing up tall to scan through the words.

“Holy shit,” he whispers, the crease between his brows running deeper. “Is this why you’ve
been working so late?”

You nod. You’re so embarrassed to share this with Jean. Even though he’s your best friend,
it’s terrifying to share this with him — the fact that you’re bad at your job. You only want
him to see the good parts of you, so admitting this to him makes you feel exposed and
vulnerable.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks, voice soft.

“It only just happened,” you explain, looking away. “The PIP, I mean.”
“But you’ve been struggling for a while, right?” he presses. He grabs your chin, tilting your
face up toward his until you’re forced to look up into his penetrating brown eyes. “Why
didn’t you tell me?”

“I was embarrassed,” you admit.

“But you told Eren?”

The hurt in his voice is evident. The betrayal. You can see every thought cross his mind from
the way his eyes stare into yours. Jean is your best friend but you chose to confide in Eren
over him?

“Do you have feelings for him?” he asks, voice quiet.

“No,” you respond, but you’re having trouble keeping eye contact.

“If you need to talk to someone, or if you need help… You can talk to me.”

Looking back into his soft eyes, you nod slightly. You watch as his jaw tenses, eyes bouncing
between each of your eyes and he considers your response.

“Shit," he hisses, frowning. "I’m sorry, I haven’t been paying attention. I've been so caught up
with all my own shit at work, I never realized what's going on with you." He sighs heavily
and his face is so close to yours that you can feel his breath tickling your cheeks when he
does. “You're really sad, huh?"

"Yeah," you laugh, trying to make light of the situation as you roll your eyes. You try to pull
away but Jean wraps his arm around your waist, pressing firmly against your lower back to
keep you close to him.

"I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t talk to me about this." His frown deepens, brows
creasing in his forehead as he looks down at you with concern. "I'm sorry I haven't been there
for you — that’s fucked up, I’m supposed to be your best friend."

"It's ok, Jean, I should've gone to you, first," you assure and he hums in response.

"I love you — you know that, right?”

Your breath catches in your throat and you try not to let yourself get too excited as fireworks
explode in your stomach. You know he doesn't mean it like that.

“I love you, too."

 Sparkling Fruit Wine
Chapter Notes

cw: Alcohol, explicit language, angst

With Jean and Eren’s support, you make it through the first month of the Performance
Improvement Plan with less tears and some semblance of hope.

Petra had eyed you warily when you met with her for your first performance meeting, cheek
sucked into her mouth as she waited for you to speak. You knew what was on her mind: were
you going to quit?

For the first time since training week, you got to see her genuine smile when you told her you
intended on improving, and since then you’ve been meeting with her weekly to track your
progress and improvement.

Today, at the end of the workday, she asks to meet you in one of the ad hoc meeting rooms,
Ruby.

“How are things?” she asks, eyes focused on her computer as she types something up. You’re
used to her dismissive attitude now, so it doesn’t bother you.

“Ok, I think.” You pull out your notepad with all of your notes from the week and things you
wanted to tell Petra about, mostly successes and areas you improved in. You try not to dwell
too much on the things that you’re still doing poorly because Petra will point them out
anyway.

“I had my first Golden File the other day,” you say with a grin. “Didn’t get any review notes
back at all.”

Petra glances over at you from her laptop with an impressed eyebrow raise. “Wow, that’s
awesome.” She shuts her laptop and clasps her hands together on the table, leaning forward.
“There’s something I wanted to tell you, actually.”

You put your things down on the table and look at her expectantly.

“Congratulations on making it through your probation,” she says with a smile. “You’re still
on the PIP for now, so don't get too excited, but this just means that you're not in immediate
danger of getting fired anymore. If it happens, there will be lots of warning signs
beforehand.”

“Has it really been three months already?” you say with a sigh of disbelief, reclining back in
your chair. “That’s crazy.”
“I talked with Erwin,” Petra says, moving on, “And we can switch our meetings to every two
weeks instead of weekly. You’ve been showing steady signs of improving so we don’t need
to monitor you as much.”

You grin, “That’s great.”

“Like I said, we’re still going to keep you on the PIP for a while, but we trust you to start
working on some more complex jobs now,” she says with a smile. “How does that sound?”

“That sounds great,” you reply, practically vibrating with excitement.

“I don’t really have much else to go through with you today, so we can end the meeting
here,” she says with a quirk of her brow before nodding toward the door in dismissal. “I hope
you have a good weekend.”

You immediately rush out of the room after packing up your things, feeling giddy. These past
few months have been absolute Hell between having to work so late all the time and the
looming fear of being fired, but after today’s meeting with Petra, you finally feel a little
lighter.

On your way back to your desk, you make a detour over to Reiner’s cubicle. The two of you
haven’t talked since that one night he caught you crying at the office, but you think about him
a lot. You wonder how he’s doing and if he still even works at Titan. If he does, he’ll be
excited to hear that today is the end of probation.

You release a shaky, relieved breath when you see his large form hunched over his desk. He’s
concentrating hard on something on his laptop, brows furrowed as his large fingers type on
the small keyboard. He has lots of photos pinned to the walls of his cubicle: pictures of him
and a couple of kids, the Marley hockey team, and a few photos of him with his friends. You
try not to snoop too much when you approach his desk.

“Reiner,” you whisper-yell, and he quickly looks over at you. “Have you talked with Petra
today?”

He runs a hand down his face, accompanied by a heavy sigh. “We’re meeting in a few
minutes to monitor my progress with the PIP. What about you?”

“You’re on the PIP too,” you say, settling into the empty chair near his desk. You're not
surprised to hear that after your conversation a while back, but for some reason, you had
never considered that anyone else would be on the same track as you. “Same with me.”

“I figured,” he says, crossing his arms over his chest, and heaving out another heavy sigh.
“How are things with you? Better since…?” he trails off, but you know what he’s referring
to.

You nod. “A lot better. That night was my lowest low, but things have been improving since
then.”

He smiles in response and it looks genuine, despite his tired eyes. “That’s awesome to hear.”
“What about you? I know you were thinking of maybe leaving…” you trail off, looking over
your shoulder as if someone might be listening in on your conversation.

“I don’t want to give up yet,” Reiner says, looking at you sternly. “I want to give it my best
shot. I chose to come back here after finishing school in Marley and I'm not going to go back
home with my tail between my legs just because things are a little tough.”

You smile. “That’s really great to hear, Reiner.”

“Thanks,” he sighs, shoulders relaxing. “What’s up?”

“Well, if you’re meeting with Petra soon, I don’t want to spoil the surprise.”

He arches a brow curiously.

“It’ll be good news,” you say with a reassuring smile. “Today is a really good day for both of
us.”

He laughs, shaking his head. “Ok, sure. Whatever you say.”

You feel the weight of someone’s hands resting on the armrest of your chair, looming above
you. Looking up, you see Eren's upside-down smiling face as he asks, “What’s going on over
here?”

“Just chatting,” you say, allowing Eren to spin you around until you’re facing him. You watch
as he glances over at Reiner with a tight jaw before shifting his gaze back to you.

“Let me walk you back to your desk,” Eren offers, smiling again.

“I’ll talk to you guys later,” Reiner says from behind you as you stand up from your seat.
Eren wraps his arm around your shoulder and his strong grip prevents you from turning
around to give Reiner a proper goodbye as you walk back to your cubicle together.

“I just had one of my weekly meetings with Petra,” you say, grinning up at Eren as soon as
you’re out of earshot with Reiner. “She said I successfully made it through my probation!”

“Does that mean you’re in the clear?”

“Not quite, but it’s still really good news.”

Stopping at your desk, Eren smiles. “That’s great to hear!” He cups your face with both
hands, his dark green eyes trailing down your face as he leans forward slightly.

It almost seems like he's about to kiss you, his gaze settling on your mouth as his tongue
slides against his lips to moisten them, but then you hear Jean pulling out his headphones and
throwing them down onto his desk, before storming over to the two of you and snapping his
fingers in your faces.

"Hey!" he spits and Eren pulls away from you, annoyed. "We're at work. Do you want her to
get in even more shit with the higher-ups?"
"Relax, I know," Eren scoffs, dropping his hands from your face to cross them at his chest.

Jean rolls his eyes, turning his attention to you. "How was your meeting with Petra?"

“Our girl here just passed her probation period," Eren explains, still obviously annoyed.

“Oh, no way, that’s cool!” Jean says, placing his palm on Eren’s chest to push him out of the
way so he can pull you into a hug. Even with Jean’s strong arms around you, you can hear
Eren huffing in annoyance.

“Thanks! Yeah, I’m really excited,” you say, gently hugging him back. When you pull away
from him, you’re still grinning from ear to ear from Petra’s news, but you notice the two boys
glaring at each other.

“Let’s pack up and head home,” Jean suggests. “It’s already late, so we should leave before
rush hour hits.”

“Don’t bother with rush hour,” Eren says, nudging his shoulder past Jean. “Why don’t you
come over and we can celebrate at my place.”

Jean snaps before you can respond, "Thanks, but I think we're just going to go home."

"I wasn't inviting you," Eren scowls.

"Oh, yeah? And how were you planning on celebrating with just the two of you?" Jean
presses and you can see on his face that he immediately regrets his choice of words when
Eren looks at him with a smug smirk.

"Well, Jean, first I would start by —"

“Jesus Christ, Eren, put your dick back in your fucking pants,” Jean snaps. “Is sex all you
think about?”

Eren gasps in mock outrage. “Who said anything about sex? What if I was talking about
some good, clean, wholesome fun?”

Jean groans and rolls his eyes. “Right. It’s a wonder you’re able to get any work done when
all your blood is pumping to a different head.”

“It’s a wonder you’re able to get any work done with your head jammed so far up your ass,”
Eren spits.

“Guys, stop,” you say with a frown. You step slightly in front of Jean defensively, extending
a hand out to push against Eren’s chest to get him to settle down.

The action seems to make Eren bristle even more, jaw tightening and fists clenching at his
sides, but he backs off with a huff.

“We can hang out sometime this weekend,” you offer and his gaze shifts down from Jean’s
face to yours. “Tonight, I want to hang out with Jean and the roomies.”
You watch his eyes dart back up to Jean behind you, hardening, before flicking back down to
you. “Yeah, ok,” he says, voice tight. “I’ll see you this weekend.”

He huffs again before spinning on his heel and heading back down the hallway to his desk.

“Why don’t we watch a movie tonight?” Jean suggests after Eren walks away. “I know we
usually do movies on Saturdays, but today's a big day.”

“Kind of short notice though, isn’t it?” you ask, looking down the hall after Eren’s retreating
frame. “We don’t have time to grab food or drinks.”

“I’m sure if you texted Connie right now, he’d go pick up some alcohol,” Jean says, grabbing
your shoulder and pulling your attention back to him. “He’s probably home already playing
video games.”

“What about food?” you look over at Jean to see him already staring at you.

“We can order in.”

You smile and he returns it earnestly. “Yeah, ok,” you say. “That sounds good.”

***

When the two of you arrive home, you catch Connie unloading his SUV with some drinks.
He waves at you both as you pull into the driveway, “Perfect timing!” he says with a bright
grin as you and Jean climb out of the car.

You’re fiddling with the food delivery app on your phone, picking out a bunch of different
rolls and combos to be delivered to the house for dinner from a nearby sushi restaurant. In
serious concentration on the task, you don’t look up from your phone as you follow the two
boys inside.

“What movie are we gonna watch? Something good, I hope,” Connie says when you all walk
into the kitchen. He puts the drinks into the fridge, some cheap beers and coolers, as you and
Jean settle into the seats at the dining table.

“There’s this cool Tarantino-esque movie I wanted to check out, actually.” Jean undoes his tie
and the first few buttons of his shirt as he speaks. You manage to find the time to look up
from your task to ogle at his bare chest as he does so. “Might be a little gory, but won’t be
much worse than that horror movie you made us watch the other day.”

“I didn’t think it was going to be that bad,” Connie whines, sitting with the two of you and
dramatically flopping his head into his hands.

“It was pretty bad,” you chime, sending off the order on your phone. “None of us could even
eat our food, it was so bad.”

“Except Sasha,” Jean laughs, looking over at you pointedly. “That girl could eat through
anything.”
“She’s used to seeing blood and guts, so it probably doesn’t even phase her,” Connie says.
“Speaking of which, where is she?”

“Didn’t you see the group chat?” you frown. “She said she was running late with surgery and
that she’d try to get here before the food does.”

“I wonder what she’s doing this time,” Jean says, leaning forward with eyes lit up in
excitement. “Last time, it was… wasn’t it a dog that had eaten its owner’s underwear? And it
got stuck in its stomach?”

You nod, feeding off of Jean’s energy and responding with your own excitement. “Maybe this
time it’ll be an emergency c-section on a pregnant cat! But, she shouldn’t really tell us these
kinds of things.”

“Not with client-patient confidentiality,” Jean snickers. “She’d be sued for every dime in her
pocket if one of the cats she neutered finds out that she was blabbing about it to her
roommates.”

You laugh, “Or what about the Chihuahua who’s anal glands she expressed last week?”

“I don’t think client-patient confidentiality is a thing with vets. Animals can't talk,” Connie
says slowly as the joke flies completely over his head. You and Jean just laugh in response.

"I don't know, Con," Jean says, sucking in a breath between clenched teeth. "You ever see
those videos on Tiktok with those dogs with the buttons?"

"The future is here," you say menacingly as Connie dramatically rolls his eyes.

"Ha ha, you guys are very funny," he says sarcastically as you and Jean dissolve into a fit of
giggles.

Jean reaches across the table to clap his hand on Connie's shoulder, still grinning
mischievously. "Sorry, buddy. It's just so easy to bug you, you know how it is."

"Yeah, yeah," Connie brushes Jean's hand off of him dismissively. "Funny how you're never
the butt of any jokes, huh?"

"It's because I never do anything embarrassing," Jean says with a shrug.

"Oh yeah?" Connie challenges and you perk up in amusement. "You wanna bet money on
that?"

Jean doesn't say anything right away, he just eyes Connie warily as you kick your feet in
excitement. "Nah, I'm good," Jean decides, scoffing and turning back to you. "Anything fun
you wanna do to celebrate tonight?”

You offer a simple shrug in response. “I just wanna hang out with my best friends tonight, eat
some food, and watch a good movie.”

"Celebrate what?" Connie asks.

You frown at Jean quickly before turning to Connie. "Just celebrating the weekend," you
explain, "Woo, Friday!"

“Lame,” Connie scoffs, leaning back in his chair until he’s balanced on two legs. “But you
know me. I'm always down to get lit the fuck up. You wanna? I bought enough.”

Jean makes a silent face of approval, glancing between you and Connie. “Could be fun?” he
coos.

“How will we be able to appreciate your fancy Tarantino movie if we’re all drunk?” you ask,
crossing your arms over your chest.

Jean shrugs, “We can watch something else — something fun. Come on, we deserve to
celebrate.”

You’re not completely convinced, but then Jean and Connie both rest their elbows on the
table, cupping their face with their hands as they attempt to give you their best puppy-dog
pout.

“Come on, please!” they beg in unison and you wonder if they planned this.

“Ok, fine,” you groan, feigning annoyance as Connie leaps up from his chair. “Somebody get
me a drink.”

“On it!” Connie calls, already on his way to the fridge.

***

The three of you drink and bullshit until Sasha gets home. You’re all already three drinks
deep each, so Sasha opts to take a shot to catch up as you drunkenly devour the food.

“I’m so down for a big roomie weekend, but what’s the special occasion?” Sasha asks around
a mouthful of sashimi. She looks at you excitedly, eyes darting between you and Jean and
you give the smallest shake of your head in response.

“Work’s been brutal,” Jean explains, struggling with his chopsticks to pick up some rice from
his bowl. “Needed some quality chill time with the Core Four.”

“Core Four,” Sasha says.

“Core Four,” you repeat.

“Like, your bosses suck or the work sucks?” she asks.

“It all sucks,” you say with a sigh. You catch Jean looking at you but you keep your eyes
focused on your food. You still haven’t told the others about being put on the PIP at work,
and you don’t intend to. You don’t want anyone else feeling sorry for you for being stupid,
it's bad enough that Jean knows.
Sasha audibly pouts, looking between the two of you sympathetically. “That’s so annoying,
I’m sorry guys. I’m sure it’ll pass.”

“Fingers crossed,” you say, making the same gesture with your free hand. “I don’t think I’ll
ever make it to Partner if work is this brutal all the time.”

“Is it Busy Season? Like, isn’t that a thing?” Sasha asks, tapping her chin in thought. “Like,
Tax Season? Or whatever?”

“That’s a tax thing,” Jean explains. “We do like, audits and assurance.”

“What does that mean?” Sasha asks.

“Just like… stuff, Sasha. I don’t know, it’s hard to explain,” Jean says, brows furrowed.

She hums in response, dropping the subject in favour of eating more food, but Connie
quickly takes the torch with another annoying conversation topic.

“I heard you had Eren over the other night,” he says, a mischievous grin on his face. “You
guys officially dating now or what?”

You groan, rolling your eyes. “No, he just drove me home after work when I was stuck there
late. It was nothing.” You don’t have to look at Jean to feel his eyes on you as you speak. “I
won't invite him over again.”

“God, his car probably reeks like sex,” Connie says with a frown of disgust. “I wonder if he
gets horny every time he gets into his car. Y’know, like a Pavlovian response-type thing?”

“Can we please not talk about Eren fucking Jaeger at dinner?” Jean groans.

“You mean fucking Eren Jaeger.”

“I mean, shut the fuck up.”

“As if you have any right to get annoyed with him,” Connie snorts, rolling his eyes. “You’re
just as horned-up as Eren is.”

“No, I’m not,” Jean snaps, eyes narrowing as he looks over at Connie.

“Really?” Connie pushes, leaning forward slightly on the table. “Should I tell them?”

”Don’t, dude.”

Connie’s threat has Jean’s entire face turning red as you and Sasha perk up in your seats.
“What is it?” she urges, eyes darting between the two boys.

“Nothing, Connie’s being an asshole,” Jean says, but he’s flustered and stammering over his
words and Connie’s grinning in triumph. “Shut the fuck up, dude,” he hisses.

“Remember the first time the Core Four went to Jean’s family cabin together?” Connie starts.
“Yes!” you and Sasha say in unison, eyes lighting up.

Of course, you remember that night — you remember it vividly. You've spent multiple nights
lying awake in bed overanalyzing your conversation with Jean on the dock.

“Connie, stop,” Jean pleads.

Connie bites his lip like he’s physically holding himself back from speaking, but you and
Sasha keep urging him to continue until he finally says, “Dude was fuckin’ bricked up after
we went skinny dipping.”

“Connie!” Jean snaps as you and Sasha look at each other with wide eyes. His face turns
bright red as he desperately glances between the two of you. “It’s not like that, I swear!”

“Ew, Jean!” Sasha shrieks, but you and her dissolve into a fit of laughter as Jean continues to
sputter out an explanation.

Connie continues, “It was like minus three out and my dick’s fuckin’ inverted into my body
— meanwhile this guy’s sailing at full mast.”

“Do you always get a boner when we go skinny dipping?” Sasha teases, twisting her face in
disgust.

“No!” Jean insists, blushing so hard that he’s visibly sweating.

“Oh,” Sasha coos, nudging you in the side. “So it was because of our new friend, then.”

Jean can only offer a strangled whine from his throat in protest, looking over at you
desperately. “I’m not a creep — I promise!”

You giggle, bringing your hand up to your face to hide your grin as you respond, “Looks like
I’ll have to beat you off with a stick,” and you see his nose scrunch in reaction.

“Wow,” Sasha says, smirking. “Notice how he didn’t deny it?”

“I wasn’t hard,” Jean says quickly, clenching his eyes shut in embarrassment as you all laugh
around him. “I have a big dick — it just looks like that, ok?”

“Yeah?” Connie challenges and Jean opens his eyes to glare at him. “Your dick’s always
standing up against your stomach like that?”

“Fuck off!” he growls, “Why were you even looking at my dick anyway, you fuckin' perv,”
and you all dissolve into laughter.

“Whatever you say, Big Dick Jean,” Connie teases to more uproarious laughter.

“Is that supposed to be an insult?” Jean scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest, feigning
confidence with a bright red face. “That’s nothing compared to Connie Small Cock.”
Sasha practically chokes on her food from laughing so hard at the boys’ bickering. “Connie
Small Cock! Holy shit!” she wheezes, falling completely into your lap from laughter.

Now, Connie’s face turns red. “Real mature, smart ass. You know that's not true.” He turns to
look over at you and Sasha, who are currently laughing so hard that neither of you can sit
upright. “He’s just joking, I have a perfectly normal-sized dick. It just looks small compared
to Monster Cock over here.”

“Again, is that supposed to be an insult?” Jean sighs in frustration, running his hand back
and forth over his face like he's trying to wipe away his blush.

You raise your hand for the boys to pause as you try to catch your breath in between your
laughter. “Why were you guys comparing dick sizes?”

This time, both of the boys start blushing and stammering while you and Sasha cry from
laughter.

"It's normal!"

"All guys do it!"

***

You’re grateful for Jean’s suggestion to have movie night tonight. He picks a random comedy
movie to complement the alcohol and the four of you settle into your usual spots on the
couch with another round of drinks: Sasha with the side couch to herself while you, Connie,
and Jean sit together on the main couch.

You know Sasha only lays out on the couch so you can cuddle with Jean, and you appreciate
it, but sometimes you wish you had a little more room during the movies — especially when
Jean is still visibly flustered from Connie’s story at dinner. He’s been more stiff and awkward
than he’s ever been around you before, and it makes Connie’s man-spreading even more
unbearable today.

Eventually, Jean relaxes throughout the movie and his arm slips from the couch’s backrest to
down by your waist. He tugs you a little closer into his chest, fingers pressed into the bare
skin of your waist where your shirt rides up. Feeling bold from the alcohol, you throw one of
your legs across his lap and he responds by grabbing the back of your knee with his other
hand and pulling you until your hips are flush against his thigh.

The intimacy of the position has your heart pounding in your chest. You’re so distracted that
you hardly know what’s going on in the movie. All you can think of is how hot Jean’s body
feels against yours and the way his thumb is brushing back and forth across your thigh. Your
head feels dizzy from the alcohol so you rest it comfortably against his chest and try not to
squeal in excitement from the sound of his beating heart in your ear.

When the movie ends and Jean shuts off the tv, you realize that both Connie and Sasha are
snoring from their places on the couch.
“Looks like we’re stuck on cleanup duty,” you say, making no move to leave the warmth of
Jean’s side.

“I’m still wide awake. How about you?”

“Yeah, me too.” You wonder if maybe he’ll offer to watch another movie so you can stay
cuddled next to him, but instead, he pushes your leg off of his and stands up from the couch.

“Come with me,” he says, stepping over Connie’s legs and into the kitchen.

Grabbing a blanket from the back of the couch, you wrap it around yourself like a cloak to
hide your trembling nerves before following Jean into the fluorescent lighting of the kitchen.
He gestures for you to sit at the table as he grabs a bottle of wine from your liquor cabinet.
The label is bright and vibrant with an intricately drawn flower — it’s the sparkling fruit wine
you got for free for pretending to be a couple.

He wiggles it in his hand. “I know it’s not cold, but you wanna tuck into this tonight?”

You smile and nod, resting your chin on your hands as you watch Jean grin and grab two
wine glasses from the cupboard. He holds the bottle out to you after setting the glasses down
on the kitchen table and sits across from you.

“Would you like to do the honours, sweetie?”

You laugh quietly, not wanting to wake your roommates in the next room and take the bottle
from Jean. You grip the cork with one hand and the bottle with the other, wiggling it back and
forth until it jumps out of the lid with a satisfying pop! causing Connie to stir and snort
especially loud from the disturbance.

Giggling, you fill the two wine glasses with the sparkling beverage, leaving the bottle half-
empty before setting it down on the table.

“Do you have a toast?” you ask, grabbing a glass and swirling the drink around as much as
you can. The soft fizzing and popping from the drink makes you shiver as you look up to
meet Jean’s gaze. His face is flushed from the alcohol earlier this evening and he has that
familiar glazed look in his eyes when he's had too much to drink.

“Here’s to the end, and may it never come,” he says, eyes softening as he looks into yours.
He taps his glass gently against yours with a quiet clink! and you both bring the glasses up to
your lips to drink.

It’s fruity and bubbly, just as advertised. It almost tastes like sparkling apple juice and you
just know from how sweet it is that Jean won’t like it, but you ask anyway.

“What do you think?”

“I really like it.”

His answer shocks you. “Really?”

“Oh, you mean the wine?” he smiles. “I meant the company.”

You scrunch your nose at his shameless flirting, hiding your blush with another sip of your
drink. Of course, you’re used to this with Jean — he always gets extra flirty when he’s drunk
— but it still makes your heart clench in your chest every time.

“What, you don’t agree?” Jean asks, leaning forward and resting his hand over yours on the
table. He’s sitting so close to you that your knees are touching and you can feel the warmth
radiating off of his body.

“Ask me again after I’ve finished this glass,” you tease and he scoffs in response.

"Sorry about Connie earlier," he says, running his tongue across his bottom lip. "He was
being an asshole."

You laugh. "It's ok, I remember that night pretty well."

Yeah, you remember Jean jerking off moments before Connie and Sasha interrupted because
he wanted to make sure that he didn't disappoint you — how could you forget?

Jean bites his tongue and groans, head flopping forward in shame. "Fuck, yeah. That was
embarrassing, sorry. I was drunk and stupid."

"S'ok," you assure, setting your glass of wine down to pat his head.

He lifts his head again to look at you with a smirk and strands of his hair have fallen from
their usual pushed-back style, framing his face nicely. Your eyes drift down to his soft, plush
lips, and wonder what they might feel like against your own.

“So, how is work, really?” he asks, and his face shifts from a flirty smirk to a concerned
frown. “Are things good? You’re feeling better?”

You sigh, looking down at your lap as you keep running your fingers through his hair. “I’m
improving and I’m learning, but I’m still really scared that it’s not enough.”

“Did Petra tell you it’s not enough?”

“No. That’s just how I feel.”

“Well, what does Petra say? She’s your coach, right?”

“Yeah,” you take another sip from your wine. “She says I’m doing better and that I’m
keeping on track… but I’m still on the PIP, you know? It’s just a really scary position to be
in. If I keep fucking up, they’re going to fire me, and then what am I going to do?”

“There are other accounting firms,” he offers, squeezing your hand gently.

“It’s embarrassing, though… failing at something that I worked so for,” you say, scrunching
your nose again, but this time to hold back your tears. “It’s hard because you make it look so
easy.”
He laughs, “It’s not easy. It’s really fucking hard.”

“Yeah, but you’re working on all of these special projects for Erwin and the other managers,”
you say, looking up at him. “So, you must be like some kind of all-star.”

“I think they’re only making me do all this shit because of my dad,” he says, voice low
before taking a long sip of his wine. “The Kirstein name is like gold. Once they find out who
I am, clients become so nice to me. Anything I ask for, I get. It has nothing to do with how
good I am at my job or how smart I am.”

“What is it that your dad does exactly?” Usually, you wouldn’t ask. You know Jean has a
weird relationship with him and that he doesn’t like to talk about it, but the courage from the
alcohol and the intimacy of his hand on yours makes you brave.

He grumbles, taking another long sip of his drink. “Like a CFO or something for the Reiss
group of companies. Government-adjacent, basically, since that family owns practically the
entire country…” Jean trails off, looking down at his wine as he swirls it around in his glass.
“I think my dad still expects me to come work for him once I get my professional designation
at Titan.”

“Is that what you want to do?” you ask, rotating your wrist on the table until your palms are
touching.

Jean squeezes your hand in his, brushing his thumb across your palm. “I’m not sure yet. I like
my job right now, but I'm still kind of thinking about switching to another division.”

“Like tax or law or —”

“Consulting, yeah,” he finishes. “I don’t know yet, though. It’s hard to think about that when
it feels so good having the managers at work practically suck me off just to have me working
on their clients.” You laugh at this, covering your mouth with your wrist as Jean’s eyes
crinkle in amusement. “I’m serious, you should see it during the planning meetings. Feels
good to be wanted, but like, I dunno,” he sighs, rolling his eyes. “It’s hard to tell if I’m
actually good at my job or if I’m just a Kirstein.”

“I’m sure you’re good at your job, Jean,” you say sternly.

“What if all the praise I got from Erwin on my first day was just because of my last name?
And he doesn’t actually care about what else I can offer?”

“You’re being too hard on yourself,” you assure.

He shrugs in response, removing his hand from yours to run through his hair, pushing back
all the loose strands on his forehead back. Jean is so effortlessly handsome, everything he
does has your heart thumping loudly in your chest when his eyes meet yours.

Jean brings his hand back down to yours, thumbing against the small dark marks on your
palm. “Is this from Halloween?” he asks, looking up from your hand to your face.

You flex your hand, looking down at the small scars. “Yeah, from the shot glass.”
“Was that when we first met?”

You smile wistfully, remembering that night clearly. “Yeah,” you say. “Sasha and I made a
bunch of jello shots and you and I had matching costumes.”

“That was fun,” he says, thumb still brushing across your palm. “You're such a good fit with
us... with me.”

Jean’s comment has you swallowing thickly, eyes fixed on your own hand. You can see from
the corner of your eyes that he’s still looking at your face. “Yeah, I’m really happy the four of
us got so close. I can’t imagine how much different things would be if I never met you guys.”

He hums in response, pressing his thumb firmly against the center of your palm before
bringing his hand back up to his head, running his hand through his hair again. He's been
doing that a lot this evening, you notice. You recognize it as one of his nervous ticks, but
what could he be so nervous about?

This time when Jean lowers his hand from his head, he rests it on your thigh, scooching
forward in his chair until your legs are caged between each of his. He’s so close you can
smell the soft citrus scent of his cologne on his skin.

“The only reason I got through my last year was because of you, remember?” he says, head
craning down to meet your gaze as you desperately try to calm the pounding in your chest.
“If you weren’t tutoring me, I doubt I would have passed the final.”

“T-that’s not true.” Your voice stutters and wavers as you look into Jean’s bright brown eyes
— you sound pathetic. You watch as his gaze bounces from your eyes to your nose to your
mouth, lingering there for a moment until they return to your eyes.

It almost feels like Jean is thinking about kissing you.

You need to relax, you’re drunk and letting your imagination run wild. You nervously turn
away from him, taking a sip of your wine to calm yourself down but as you raise the glass to
your lips, you see how badly you’re shaking.

If Jean notices, he doesn’t comment on it. “Of course it’s true,” he says, “You stayed up late
with me the night before the exam, running through problems and questions until I finally
had the material drilled into my thick skull. Studying sucked ass, but it wasn’t so bad
spending all that time with you.”

You blink and suddenly Jean has inched his face closer to yours. You have to focus intently
on steadying your breathing as you stare at him. The blanket slips from around your
shoulders, pooling into a pile at the bottom of your chair and sending a rush of cool air and
goosebumps down your spine.

"If things don't work out at Titan," he starts, looking at you with furrowed concern, "Nobody
would think less of you. We all know how smart you are and if Titan doesn't realize it, then
that's their loss. There will be other jobs, you can always just do something else."
"Thanks, Jean," you say dismissively but your face burns in embarrassment.

“You’ve always been there for me through everything.” He sets down his glass of wine on the
table and brings his hand up to cup your face. His hand is so big that his fingers cup the back
of your neck while his thumb rests on your cheek. You watch as his pupils dilate, eyes
drifting back down toward your mouth.

“I want to be there for you, too,” he continues and the tip of his tongue slides from between
his lips, coating them in moisture. “I feel like I’m not important to you anymore.”

“Jean, you are,” you say weakly. Your body is tense to control your trembling as Jean’s other
hand slides up the side of your thigh to rest on your waist.

"I feel like I've been a really shitty friend to you — fuck, have I even been a good person?"
he scrunches his face in anger, brushing your cheek gently with his thumb. "The fact that you
feel more comfortable around Eren fucking Jaeger than me is fucking heart-wrenching."

"I'm sorry —"

"You have nothing to apologize for," he says quickly, cutting you off. "It's me. I'm the one
that should be sorry — I'm the one who is sorry." Jean ducks his head down with a heavy
sigh and the hand on your waist squeezes you a little tighter, thumb rubbing small circles in
your side. "I don't want to lose you to some asshole because I'm too self-absorbed."

You swallow thickly but say nothing. You can feel your heart pounding in your chest and the
heat radiating off of Jean's body from how close he is to you. What is going on?

"You're so important to me, but I feel like I don't do a good job of showing that to you," he
says.

"Jean, it's ok," you assure, gently resting your hands on his shoulders and giving him a
comforting squeeze. "I get it. I don’t expect you to be there for everything."

"But I want to," he says, so quietly that you almost miss it.

When Jean lifts his head, you realize how fucking close he is to you. You can feel his hot
breath on your face. You can see each strand of stubble on his chin, the golden flecks in his
light brown eyes, and the pink glow on his cheeks as his eyes swing back up to meet yours.

“Jean,” you gasp, shifting your hands from his shoulders to behind his neck. Your heart
is pounding in your chest but you find yourself gently fingering the wisps of hair against his
nape as you look at each other.

“Huh,” he hums and his thumb brushes down across your cheek and over the soft pads of
your lips. He traces the outline of your mouth with his thumb, dragging your bottom lip down
until your mouth gently parts.

“What are you doing?” Your question is so quiet that even from this close, you’re not sure if
he hears you.
His eyes gently flutter shut and your breath catches in your throat. You find yourself closing
your eyes, too, unsure of what to do as you feel Jean’s nose nudging against yours.

“I want to be the person you go to if you need something,” he whispers, his breath warm
against your lips. “I want you to feel comfortable around me.”

“I do,” you say, more breath than sound.

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes, Jean.”

And then — Jean Kirstein kisses you.

His lips are soft and gentle as they move against yours, pressing tender, open-mouthed kisses
against your lips as his fingers press hard against your skin. He tilts your head up so that he
looms above you, grip tight on your cheek as he kisses down into you. Jean presses forward
to tug at your lower lips with his teeth, following it quickly with a swipe of his tongue before
you allow your mouth to fall open for him, greeting the languid grazes of his tongue against
yours.

You find yourself falling forward into him, grabbing a handful of his hair to tug him close
into you while the other slides down to wrap around the golden chain against his collarbones.
His body is strong and sturdy and hot under your touch and it makes fire burn in your core.
You want to slide forward and crawl into his lap, press his body into yours, and grind your
hips down into him, but his grip on you is strong — somehow pulling you close but keeping
you apart at the same time.

The taste of the sweet, fruity wine still lingers on Jean’s lips, perfectly complementing his
citrus cologne as you breathe him in. Your heart is rattling so hard in your chest that you feel
like you’re going to knock your ribs loose and you breathe a small moan into Jean’s mouth,
which he swallows eagerly and returns with even more intensity.

A crash! from the next room startles the two of you apart. Jean pushes his chair back quickly
and with so much force that it topples over with another crash! causing even more of a
ruckus as he stumbles to pick it up.

“What the hell is going on?” Connie wails — more ruckus.

You stand up suddenly and walk into the living room to inspect the source of the original
disturbance to find one of the half-drank cans of beer on the coffee table had been knocked
off by one of your sleeping roommates and fallen onto the floor.

“Who did this?” you ask, panicked as you spring into action, picking up the can from the
floor and wiping down the mess with a nearby pad of napkins from the takeout bag.

Sasha yawns loudly, stretching her arms up into the air as she blearily blinks at the situation.
“W’is going on?” she mumbles, still obviously half asleep.
“Your dumb ass knocked over one of the drinks,” Connie yells, tossing a pillow over your
head and at Sasha’s face. “And Big Dick Jean is knocking shit over in the kitchen.”

Connie gestures towards the doorway of the kitchen and you look over to see Jean leaning
against it, watching you clean up the mess with dazed, wide eyes and a hand over his mouth.
You can’t identify the expression on his face but you feel your heart sink into your stomach at
the sight.

“It wasn’ me!” Sasha mumbles, hugging the pillow Connie just threw at her and flopping
back down onto the couch.

“Sasha,” you scold, “Come on, you need to go to bed. You can’t sleep here.” You turn to look
over at Connie. “Are you going to help, or are you just going to sit there and whine?”

He huffs, grumpy after his rude awakening, and starts grabbing garbage and cans from the
table to carry with him into the kitchen. “Why aren’t you yelling at Jean?”

Your face burns impossibly hot as you focus your attention on cleaning up the spill,
stumbling and stuttering over your words before Jean takes over. “I fucked something up in
the kitchen,” he says quietly.

You’re afraid to look at him again.

***

The four of you lazily clean up the mess before all heading to bed. In the safety of your dark
room, you press your back flat against your bedroom door as you take slow, shaky breaths.

What the fuck just happened? What the fuck just happened?

You feel giddy, excited, and nauseous all at once. Jean kissed you — he kissed you.

Your heart is still thundering in your chest so loudly that you don’t even hear the gentle
knocking on your door, but you’re startled by the vibrations of the tapping against your back.

Turning around, you quietly twist the knob to your door, slowly opening it to face a familiar
white t-shirt stretched across broad shoulders. With a loud swallow, you allow yourself to tilt
your head up until you’re met with Jean’s face.

“Can I come in?”

“Yeah, sure, totally,” you mumble quickly, stepping aside to let him into your room.

Jean pushes the door closed behind him and then the two of you are standing only inches
apart, engulfed in the darkness of your room. All you can hear is the pounding of your heart
and your choppy, stuttered breaths.

He reaches blindly in the dark until he touches your arms, gently stroking his hands up and
down before settling his grasp on your upper arms.
“You ok?” he whispers.

“Yeah, are you?”

“Yeah.”

His hands slide further up your arms until they sit on your shoulders, fingers tapping
nervously against your skin before they slide again. His hands gently cup your face and you
find yourself fluttering your eyes shut, bringing your hands up to rest on his chest, and you
can feel that his heart is beating just as fast as yours.

Jean leans forward until you can feel his hot breath on your face. “I —”

This time, you kiss him. Stepping up on the tips of your toes until your lips press against one
another and he melts against you. His hand reaches back behind your head to deepen the kiss
while the other slides down your body to your lower back, pulling you forward until your
bodies are pressed flush against one another.

He pulls back just enough to mumble quietly against your lips, “Wait, wait,” but he cuts
himself off by diving back into the kiss like he can't control himself. “Shit.”

You gently push him forward until his back is pressed against the door. Each kiss becomes
more and more heated as he holds you tight against his body. Jean's hand grips your hair
tightly as his hips start to grind against yours, his leg nudging between your thighs to press
firmly against your crotch. You release a shuddering breath against his lips and he responds
with a deep groan, "Fuck."

His hand on your lower back slides to your hip, helping guide you back and forth as you rock
against his thigh, and fuck, it feels like it's a million degrees in this room and you're both
wearing far, far too many clothes. Jean slips his fingers underneath the hem of your shirt and
his hand is burning hot against your skin. "Jean," you whimper and he tugs your lip between
his teeth in response — hungry.

Jean's hands are huge and sturdy as they touch you, and even through the fabric of his
nightshirt, you can feel the way his abs clench against you every time his hips rock forward.
He pants your name, quiet but eager against your lips as you whimper from the feeling,
"Shit." You can feel him growing hard between you and it's making you dizzy with arousal.

You want to touch him — you want him to touch you — fuck, fuck! You can't even think
properly as his mouth moves against yours and heat builds in your core. You need to feel his
skin against you, right now.

You only pull away when you hear Sasha’s bedroom door open across the hall, both of you
holding your breath as you hear her stomping footsteps down the hall to the bathroom. Your
faces are still only inches apart and you can feel a string of saliva trailing between your
mouths from the heated kiss, snapping back against your lips when Jean lifts his head away.

When you hear the bathroom door shut, you both let out a shaky sigh of relief. You tighten
your grip on the fabric of his shirt, intending to pull him back into you but when his arms
drop away from you completely, you pause.

“Wait, wait,” he says, shifting his leg away from between your thighs. “We shouldn’t do
this.”

You blink your eyes open to look up at him. You still haven’t fully adjusted to the dark, but
you can see the faint outline of his face and his furrowed expression.

“We shouldn’t… we can’t...” his wavering voice starts to harden as he continues. “We can’t
do this,” he repeats. “I’m sorry.”

“Why not?” you ask, voice sharp and laced with annoyance.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he repeats, and his hand reaches behind him to twist the doorknob.

He gently walks you back so he can pull the door open but you just tighten your hold on him.
“Wait, Jean — what do you mean?”

“We can’t,” he insists, running a shaky hand through his hair. “I’m sorry,” and he reaches out
to grab at your hands, gently loosening your grip on his shirt until the fabric falls flat against
his chest. Jean drops you hands and slinks out the door, closing it behind him, and leaving
you confused and breathing heavily in the darkness of your room.
 Eren fucking Jaeger (e)
Chapter Notes

cw: Alcohol, explicit language, explicit sexual content (fingering, blowjob, dirty talk,
thigh riding, creampie, overstimulation, multiple orgasms)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Eren pulls up to your house late on Sunday night to take you out to The Point. He wanted to
come earlier, but you always insist on having your little movie night with your little
roommates before seeing him.

Ugh, it makes him so mad that you’re always blowing him off to hang out with Jean fucking
Kirstein.

You never accept Eren’s offers to come over after work because you want to drive home with
Jean.

You always make Eren pick you up in the middle of the night because you want to watch
movies with Jean.

Jean Jean Jean.

It’s annoying that you’d rather hang out with Jean platonically than get fucked out of your
mind with Eren. He doesn’t understand it. How is watching a movie with Jean more fun than
what he can do to you? With you? For you?

Eren watches as all of the lights in the house shut off one by one, a sure sign that the movie is
over and everyone is going to bed. The porch light flicks on moments before the front door
opens and you scurry outside, shutting it behind you, and jumping into the warmth of Eren’s
car. Eren doesn’t even try to hide his grin as he watches you frantically buckle up like you’re
in a rush to get away.

“Start the car!” you whisper-yell, “Start the car!”

Eren laughs and drives out of your subdivision quietly until he hits the freeway, then he flies
down the road to The Point with the sound of his roaring engine in his wake. He reaches a
hand across the centre console to grip your thigh and you lace your fingers with his, grinning
up at him and swinging your feet in excitement. His heart races — probably from the thrill of
his car roaring down the empty roads.

“How was the movie?” He asks, turning down the volume of the music until it’s just low
background noise. You get so fucking grumpy when his music is too loud, so he always
makes sure to turn it down for you.
“It was ok. Just some stupid horror movie Sasha found online.” You play with Eren’s hand as
you speak, spinning his rings off of his fingers before sliding them back on. “Really scary in
the first half, but not too bad toward the end.”

“I bet you were terrified. Shaking, even.”

“No,” you whine. Eren looks over at you to see that cute little pout on your face, and he gives
your hand a gentle squeeze.

“You can lie to me all you want, but you can’t lie to yourself.”

You laugh and hit his arm with your free hand. Your palm lingers on his bicep and you give
him a light squeeze before pulling away. You always do this when Eren makes you laugh —
it makes him want to do it more.

“So, did Connie shit himself or what?”

Another laugh, another squeeze. Eren grins.

“No, he did pretty good this time.”

“Who gets to pick the next movie?”

“I think it’s me. I was thinking maybe a romcom or something… but Jean doesn’t really like
those.”

Eren resists the urge to roll his eyes. Great, Jean, again. You never miss an opportunity to
bring him up in conversation. He can feel his shoulders tensing at just the mention of that
horse-faced fuck.

“Am I going to get an invite to the next movie night?” he asks, giving you another gentle
squeeze. “You said you’d invite me and I’ve been waiting.”

You laugh. “Did I say that? I don’t remember.”

He nods, thumb brushing across the back of your hand. “I definitely remember you saying
that.”

“Was that around the same time that I told you I’d print out a photo of us together for my
picture wall?”

“Hmm, yes, I think so,” Eren says with a smile. “Maybe we can take one tonight out at The
Point.”

“I’m not really dressed cute for a picture.” Your free hand flies up to your hair, fluffing it up
and fixing it as you look over at him with soft eyes and pouty lips.

Eren thinks you look plenty cute for a picture — beautiful, even. He wants to reach over, grab
your face, and then lick and bite at those cute pouty lips until you’re dazed and panting.
“You’re being ridiculous,” he says instead, scoffing. “It’s not cute to fish for compliments.”

“I’m not fishing for compliments,” you say, eyes widening in surprise before darting down
into your lap sheepishly. “I’m wearing a frumpy dress and no makeup — I didn’t even fix my
hair properly before leaving.”

“It’s really hot that you get all dressed up for me,” Eren teases.

“I don’t have to get dressed up for you. We never keep our clothes on long enough for it to
matter.”

Your words send a jolt of desire straight to Eren’s cock and he squeezes your hand a little
tighter in response. He sucks in a sharp breath before responding, trying not to be such a
horny bastard for once, “Let’s take a picture when we get there. I’m not taking no for an
answer.”

You open your mouth to speak, but he turns to look at you sternly. “I said, I’m not taking no
for an answer.”

You scrunch your nose at him, frowning. “Yes, sir.”

He groans, turning back to the road as his mind flies straight into the gutter.

“So, what’s got you in such a good mood today?” he asks, trying to change the subject so he’s
not driving down the road with a raging hard-on. He squeezes your hand in little pulses as
your legs swing in your seat.

“Just happy,” you explain and Eren can see you grinning even out of the corner of his eye.
“It’s been a really good weekend so far.”

“Well, it’s about to get even better,” Eren says, smiling.

The two of you arrive at The Point soon after your conversation and Eren parks in his usual
spot near the chain link fence at the edge of the cliff. He unbuckles both his and your
seatbelts before getting out of the car. “Come on, let’s go take this picture.”

He leans up against the fence while he waits for you to get out of the car, phone in hand. Eren
watches as you look around the clearing to try to find a nice place to take the photo, settling
on exactly where Eren is standing — as he expected. He’s been thinking about this for a few
days and already decided that having the city in the background of the photo would be nice,
so he’s happy that you agree.

“It might be a little dark for pictures,” you say, standing next to him and turning on the front
camera on your phone. Through the screen, it looks ok, but Eren can tell from your
expression that you’re not convinced.

“We could try using flash,” he suggests, snatching it from your hands and pulling you so your
back is flush against his chest.

“Flash won’t look good, it washes everything out,” you try to explain, but Eren says nothing.
He tries to frame the photo with some of the buildings in the background, curling his arm
around your shoulders and resting his head on top of yours. You reach up to wrap your hands
around his forearm and Eren watches his face break out into a grin on the screen.

“You’re so little,” he teases, thumb brushing across your shoulder.

Rising to his bait, you start to whine and pout, and Eren starts to take pictures. He doesn’t use
flash, having listened to your protest, but he takes a couple of different action shots before
lowering his arm for the two of you to look at the photos.

Eren holds your phone as you cup your hands around his, flicking through the photos as you
lean back into Eren’s body. “They’re a little dark, but there’s a few cute ones,” you hum.

“Great,” he says with a smile, leaning down to kiss your cheek. “Now you have lots of
pictures to choose from.”

You twist out of his grip until you’re facing him, palms resting on his chest. “Why do you
want me to have a picture of you so bad?”

Eren has no fucking idea why he wants to take this photo with you.

It started out as some stupid joke when he saw your pictures of those other idiots at your
desk, he didn’t mean to keep bugging you about it. But when he saw the photo collage in
your room the other night, filled with pictures of you being happy and having fun with your
friends, he felt… weird.

“Don’t you want a picture of me?” he says instead, curling one hand around your waist while
the other grips the back of your neck. “You can brag about how hot I am to all of your
friends. Why don’t we take a few pictures with my shirt off, too?”

You groan in annoyance but Eren can tell you’re enjoying his teasing from the way your neck
heats under his touch. If it wasn’t so dark, he wonders if he’d be able to see you blushing.

“I’ve got plenty of pictures of you with your shirt off. I don’t need any more.”

Eren smirks, tugging you closer and lowering his lips until they brush against your ear. “Oh?
You saved the pictures I sent you?”

He doesn’t wait for you to answer, knowing already that you’ll protest and whine and pout
like you always do. Instead, he just starts kissing along your jaw and neck and relishes the
feeling of you melting against his chest.

“It’s kind of cold,” you mumble, hands gripping tightly against the fabric of his shirt.

“Is that a hint?” he hums and you scoff in response. “Ok, let’s go back to the car and warm
up.”

Eren holds your hand back to the car, getting into the driver’s side and sliding his seat all the
way back. When he pats on his thighs for you to climb on, you look at him in confusion.
“There’s more room in the back seat,” you say, but straddle him all the same.

“Yeah, but I like it up here,” he says, closing the door behind you before running his hands up
and down your waist, fingers dragging the hem of your dress to your upper thigh, exposing
more of your bare skin. “I can’t stop thinking about the other night when I had you on my lap
like this,” he gently kisses the hollow of your neck.

“You’re so lame,” you huff, but you run your nails down his chest through the thin fabric of
his shirt.

Eren hums in response, gripping your hips and rolling you against his lap.

You whimper from the feeling of Eren’s hardening cock against the crotch of your panties
and Eren loves the sound so much he rolls you against him again. “I like that you wore a
dress for me today,” he says, “But I want you to take it off.”

He removes his hands from your hips so you can grab at the bottom hem of your dress,
pulling it up over your head and tossing it to the passenger side of the car, leaving you in your
underwear with goosebumps. Eren returns his hands to your body, trailing them up and down
and squeezing your flesh with his fingertips. You’re so soft — he loves it.

“See, I told you. There’s no point getting dressed up for you.”

Before he can respond, you reach behind your back and unclip your bra, throwing it over
with your dress, too.

Every time he sees your boobs, it feels like the first time. Jaw-dropping, eyes widening,
palms grabbing — he can’t get enough of them. They’re so soft and heavy in his hands and
when he rolls his thumbs over your nipples, they harden almost instantly.

“Fuck,” he whispers, leaning forward into your chest to take one into his mouth. You’re soft
even against his tongue as he slides it across your nipple, sucking and teasing it as you arch
into him. His hand plays with the other, not wanting it to feel neglected, pinching and pulling
it gently between his fingers.

You gasp at the sensation, hands flying up to the back of Eren’s hair to tug him closer into
your chest. You’re always so enthusiastic and eager, it makes his dick twitch against you in
his pants. He wants to fuck you right now, but he knows it’ll be better if he teases you first. If
he makes you wet and aching — weak from pleasure but still begging for more — he knows
you’ll keep coming back to him. He knows how addicting he can be.

“So,” he hums, mouth still around you. “Are you gonna tell me what’s got you in such a good
mood tonight?”

You whimper in response, eyes falling closed as you press your chest against his face.
“Jean,” you whine.

Eren stills immediately, pulling off your nipple with a frown. “Excuse me?”
“Jean,” you repeat breathlessly, eyes fluttering open to look down at Eren. “We kissed last
night.”

Eren just blinks up at you in response.

“I think this is working — he’s getting jealous,” you say, tugging Eren’s hair gently.

“Ok,” he says slowly, “So, why aren’t you at home making out with him then?” He’s
surprised by how bitter his tone sounds.

You huff, obviously annoyed. “Because he’s acting really weird about it — look, I’m too
horny to talk right now, can we just…?” You gently guide his face back toward your chest.

Eren can’t control himself as he breaks out into laughter. He leans forward, pressing his head
between your breasts as his body shakes. You’re so stupid — you’re so fucking stupid.

The guy you’re supposedly into kissed you last night and yet here you are, grinding against
Eren’s dick and begging him to touch you. Fuck, you’re dumb.

Do you even like Jean? Because if you did, you wouldn’t be here with Eren right now.

“Fuck, baby,” he groans, bringing a hand up to wipe the tears from his eyes. “You’re funny.”

“What?” you ask, squirming as Eren presses his lips against your skin.

“Nothing, nothing,” he hums. “Keep up the good work.”

He kisses across your breasts to take your other nipple into his mouth, giving it some much-
needed attention as you whimper above him. With his free hand, he slides it down the back of
your underwear, over your ass, and between your legs until his fingers find that sweet
wetness.

He wonders if you ever think about Jean when you’re here with him — if all this built-up
slick is caused by thoughts of someone else. The idea makes him bristle.

“Eren,” you gasp, hips sliding back for more contact, immediately soothing his discomfort.
He sighs from the sound of his name on your lips and lets you grind against his hand, palm
cupping around your drenched pussy, fingertips pressing against your already swollen clit.

“Does that feel good?” he asks, mouth still wrapped around your breast, voice so low it’s just
a grumble. “Tell me what you need, baby.”

You whimper against his neck, head falling forward into his shoulder as you rock back and
forth against his hand. “I want you inside, please,” you say, quiet against his skin.

Not one to keep such a pretty girl waiting, he does as you ask, sliding his middle finger past
your wet folds into your tight heat. You moan from the sensation and grind down into him
harder, riding his hand.

“Another, Eren,” you gasp and he pushes his ring finger into you as well.
The second finger is always tighter than the first, but once you get used to the feeling of him
inside of you, you start to fuck yourself with his hand. He loves it — moving his head up
from your tits to bite and suck on your neck while you use his hand to get yourself off.

“Come on, baby,” he grunts as your hands grip his shirt tighter. “I want you to make yourself
cum for me.”

You whimper in affirmation and grind down on him harder, sliding one hand down your front
to swirl your fingers over your clit.

Eren groans, “Yeah, fuck, touch yourself for me — you’re getting so wet.”

Eren starts to pump his hand up and down, fucking you hard with his fingers as your ass
bounces against his forearm.

“Eren — fuck — don’t stop.”

His dick gets so hard for you when you beg for him like this — beg for him to make you
cum. Hardly able to say words as the pleasure builds except his name, chanting it like a
prayer as you squeeze around his hand. His face glows from the knowledge that you’re only
thinking of him in this moment.

You tremble in his arms, gasps turning into deep moans as you cum on his fingers. It’s so
fucking hot and he’s so horny that his hips buck up into you, desperate for stimulation. He
wants you to touch him so bad — hopes that you will — after you finish coating his hand in
your arousal.

When your body stops clenching around him, you lift your head from his neck, pressing your
lips sloppily against his mouth as you wrap your arms around him. Eren removes his fingers
from inside of you, reveling in the way your body tries to suck him back in, and rests both
hands on your hips, grinding you forward and back in his lap against his stiff cock.

“Take it off,” you whimper, lips still pressed against his mouth. “Take off your pants for me,
please.”

You are so demanding tonight and Eren loves it. He shifts his hands to the waistband of his
sweats, lifting his hips and hooking his thumbs into them before pushing them down and off
along with his underwear. He kicks them off of his feet before returning his hands to your
hips to grind your clothed pussy against him.

You reach down between your bodies and grab firmly at Eren’s cock. He groans in approval,
throwing his head back as you start to stroke along his length. Your hand is so much softer
and more delicate than his and it feels so good. He loves the way you touch him, the way you
slide your thumb across his slit, the way your hips rock against him, almost involuntarily to
match the pace of your hand on his dick.

“Do you feel how hard I am for you?” he grunts, lowering his head to look into your eyes,
dark and hungry with lust. “Look how horny you make me, baby.” He lifts one hand to cup
your face, tracing your mouth with his thumb and dragging your bottom lip down until your
lips part for him.

He reaches down with his other hand, wrapping around yours to slide your hand more firmly
against his length. Eren could probably cum just from this, watching how you pant from
softly parted lips, tongue lolling out to flick against his thumb, breasts rising and falling with
each breath as the windows in his car fog from the heat.

“You feel so good,” you gasp, eyes dropping from his face to his dick. “Can I taste you?”

Fuck, yes.

Eren’s response is just a strangled groan, eyes narrowing as he watches you slide down to
your knees between his spread legs. His cock is throbbing against your hand as precum spills
from the tip, so eager to have your lips wrapped around him.

You blink up at him, eyes wide and innocent as you swipe your tongue across your lower lip.
You’re still panting and flushed from your earlier orgasm but your grip is firm on his cock.
Eren feels like he’s suffocating from the way you’re looking at him right now, so he takes off
his shirt so he feels less constricted.

Eren pulls the hair from your face with both hands, holding it back and away from your face
so he doesn’t miss a thing as you start to lower your mouth down onto his cock. He bites
down on his lower lip as you slide your wet, flat tongue against his entire length, your gaze
fixed on Eren’s face the entire time.

“Holy shit,” he grunts, sighing in pleasure as he watches you swirl your tongue around his
swollen head. When you pull away his eyes widen in lust as he watches a string of his
precum trailing from his tip to your tongue. “Come on, be good for me, baby — put it in your
mouth,” he urges, dick twitching in your hand as you smile up at him.

You listen so well for him, opening your mouth a little wider and letting the head of his cock
slide against your tongue. You wrap your lips around him, gently bobbing up and down
across the ridge of his dick as your hand pumps lazily against his length. Drool slides down
from the side of your mouth, lubing up your hand and allowing you to slide faster and grip
him tighter.

Eren’s grip on your hair tightens as you start to take more of him into his mouth. He loves
watching the way your lips stretch around his girth as you slide him deeper, the head of his
cock brushing against the soft back of your throat. He tries to focus all of his energy on
holding himself back from shooting his load into your mouth, but when you push the head of
his cock into the tight ring of your throat, his legs tremble on either side of you.

“Fuck,” he groans, watching you blink back tears as you take him deeper and deeper. “That’s
it, take it — just like that, baby — fuck.”

Your throat tightens around him when you swallow and Eren's vision goes blurry, almost
missing the way you nuzzle your nose against the dark curls around the base of his cock.
When you pull back slightly, choking and crying, he resists the urge to force you back down
so he can feel you do that again.

You pull off of him completely with a gasp, thick strings of spit trailing from your mouth to
his cock, and your chest heaving as you try to catch your breath. You look so beautiful and
fucked out on your knees for him like this, face flushed, and eyelashes lined with tears. He
wants you to keep going — to keep worshiping his cock on your knees with your hot mouth
and your soft tongue, but he’s so fucking worked up already that he knows he’ll blow his load
if you’re down there for any longer.

Eren reaches down with both hands to cup your face, brushing away the tears and the spit
from your face with his thumbs as he looks down at you in adoration.

“I could cum just looking at you,” he says, voice so low and gravelly that he hardly
recognizes himself. “Come back up here and sit on my dick, I need to fuck you.”

You wipe the remaining spit from your chin with the back of your hand before resting both
hands on Eren’s thighs, using them to help lift you up before peeling off your panties and
settling back onto his lap. You sit there, breathing hard, gripping his bare shoulders tightly as
Eren reaches down between your bodies to stroke his dick.

He’s so wet from your spit, so hard it aches, so needy for your pussy. He can feel himself
throbbing against his hand from the way you’re looking at him.

“Eren, please,” this time, you wrap your hand around his, lifting your hips, and guiding him
to your entrance. “I want it. Lemme feel it,” you’re practically slurring, you’re so cockdrunk.

Eren has never been harder than he is right now in this moment, his cock feels like a fucking
diamond in his fist. He’s so close to bursting already, gut tight and balls tighter from the way
your mouth was wrapped around him earlier — but he resolves to give you everything he has
as you sink down onto him, enveloping him in the warm, wet, heat of your pussy.

He releases a shuddering breath, wrapping his arms around your waist and tugging you flush
against his body. He buries his face in your neck, breathing hard and trying to adjust to the
feeling of your walls squeezing around him. It’s almost too much — especially when you
start to run your nails softly up and down his arms.

“Eren, you feel so good inside of me.”

He groans, clenching his eyes shut and squeezing you tighter. “Baby, you’re going to make
me cum,” he whimpers. It’s embarrassing how horny he is for you, how quickly you’re able
to make him unravel.

“You’re so deep,” you whine, grinding against his cock as much as you can from how tightly
Eren’s holding you in place. He can hear the wet squelching of your pussy squeezing around
him and he can feel your wetness dripping down his balls — fuck, he’s so close. “Fuck, Eren,
you feel so good.”
“Shit,” he hisses, pulling you up and off of him completely. His cock slaps against his
stomach and he quickly reaches a hand down to grip it tightly around the head, holding back
his orgasm as he feels his gut churning. “You’re so fucking hot,” he groans, eyes clenched
shut, gritting his teeth hard.

“Eren, please — come on.”

You’re so whiny and desperate for him to fuck you — it’s making it worse. You’re grinding
against his thigh for stimulation, coating the hard muscle in your slick arousal as you rub
your clit against him. He feels bad leaving you so needy like this but he needs to focus —
he’s so close to cumming all over his chest right now, how embarrassing.

He tries to tune out the sound of your breathless moans as you ride his thigh. You’re making
such a fucking mess of his leg and your nails are digging into his biceps as you chase your
orgasm. It’s so fucking hot how desperate you are to cum, using his body to get yourself off
like this. You’re whimpering against his neck as your rub your clit against him, gasping and
panting like the needy girl he knows you are. Every sound out of your fucking mouth is
making Eren’s cock throb in his hand — he’s so horny, he feels like he’s going to explode.

“Fuck it,” he grunts. It’s too late — he’s so close already, there’s no holding back. But he
wants to cum inside you.

Eren grabs your hips roughly, lifting you up before slamming you hard down on his dick. You
cry out in alarm as he rams himself straight in to the hilt, but you’re so wet there’s no
resistance as his cock pushes against your tight walls.

“Wanna cum inside,” he grunts, digging his heels into the floor as he thrusts up into you. He
holds you tight around your middle, bouncing you up and down on his cock like a doll as
your nails dig into his arms. “Come on — fuck.”

He can feel you tighten around him as he fucks up into you. You already got yourself so close
riding his thigh — and thank fucking God because Eren is about to lose it. “Eren, fuck, I’m
—”

You’re struggling around your words as your head falls limply against his shoulder, gasping
and panting and squeezing around his cock. “Fuck, I can feel it — I need to feel you cum on
me,” he groans, feeling like every single nerve ending is on fire as he pants. “You’re gonna
make me cum so hard, baby — good girl, my good fucking girl —”

He can’t control himself any longer as you clench hard around his cock. He groans and pants
as his cum spills into you, cock twitching against the tight walls of your cunt with every
spurt. He can feel how messy he’s making you from the wet sounds between your bodies and
his blunt nails dig hard into your skin as he shudders through his release.

Eren is still mid-orgasm, his pace beginning to slow when your hands claw at his shoulders
desperately.

“Keep going, Eren — please, I’m so close.”

“Fuck!” he huffs, arms squeezing around you tighter as he keeps fucking into you. His cock
is so sensitive from his orgasm, but he’s desperate to get you off while he’s still hard, hips
slamming up into you frantically as he throws his head back against the headrest. His groans
are just deep, animalistic sounds from the depths of his chest as he thrusts his hips into you,
fueled solely by every delicious fucking whimper that spills from your lips.

You whine against his neck, nails digging hard into his skin as you tremble in his arms.
“Harder, harder,” you beg.

Eren’s deep groans turn into breathless pants. It’s so intense he can hardly take it but he needs
to — he can’t disappoint you.

“Come on, baby,” he whimpers. “Cum for me, please, baby, please.”

His entire body feels like it’s on fire from his overstimulated cock pounding into you. It’s so
intense — so fucking intense, and when he finally feels your pussy squeezing rhythmically
around him, he feels the sensation of another orgasm brewing in his gut.

He clenches his eyes shut tightly and grits his teeth as he fucks up into you, pace irregular
and sloppy as he tries to fuck himself as deep as he can into you — forcing some of his cum
from his first orgasm deep into your stomach while the rest spills against his balls. His toes
curl, his legs tremble, and his body explodes from the sensation as you pant into his ear. He
cries out with you as he pumps a second load of cum inside of you, and his cock is so
sensitive and overstimulated that it almost hurts but it still feels so fucking good that Eren
wants to keep going and going until he has nothing left to give you.

“Fuck,” he whispers, close to tears.

***

“This was a mistake,” Jean grumbled, taking a sip from his beer.

It took a lot of convincing, but Eren finally succeeded in getting Jean to come out and party
after his shitty day, but from the moment he walked through the door he had been nothing but
a vibe killer and it was starting to piss Eren off. Eren just wanted to get drunk with his friends
and maybe get his dick wet, but Jean was souring the mood and scaring off any girl that tried
to approach them with his ugly scowl.

“It’s not a mistake, it’s an opportunity,” Eren said, thumping Jean on the chest with his fist.
“You know, there’s no such thing as love. It’s just our natural human desire to breed and fuck
around, repackaged into something romantic so capitalism can use it to its advantage.
Valentine's Day, anniversaries, weddings? All of it is just a money grab.”

“Eren, you’re being cynical,” Armin sighed, pressing his lips into a deep frown.

“There’s more to love than just having sex,” Jean huffed, rolling his eyes. “It’s about how you
feel when you’re with the person. Like you couldn’t imagine not having them in your life, or
how they turn you into the best version of yourself.”
“Arguably, I turn people into the worst versions of themselves, but they still always fall in
love with me after I dick them down.”

“That’s because you make them fall in love with you,” Jean said with a scowl. “You always
act like you’re the perfect boyfriend when you find someone new — a new toy — and then
you break their heart as soon as you get bored.”

Eren nodded, “Yeah, that’s exactly what I do. People should know by now what to expect
from me — play stupid games, win stupid prizes.”

“You’re horrible,” Armin said, looking over at Eren in disappointment. “Don’t you feel bad
for treating people like that?”

“No,” Eren said with a shrug. “If I don’t do it to them, they’ll just do it to someone else.” He
nodded toward Jean, “Like this poor sap over here. How many girls have broken your heart?”

Jean bristled at his comment, the crease in his forehead deepening as he frowned. “You’re
being a real asshole tonight. What’s wrong with you?”

“Eren’s always like this,” Armin said with a huff. “One day you’re going to meet someone
that’ll make you regret this kind of behaviour. This reputation you’ve crafted for yourself is
going to bite you in the ass.”

“Unlikely,” Eren scoffed, waving his hand in dismissal as he turned back to Jean. “Come on.
You just need a hot, little rebound fuck and then you’ll be back to normal — I guarantee it!
No more moping and crying over some dumb slut.”

“Hey,” Jean scolded, tone sharp. “Don’t talk about her like that, she’s not a bad person.”

Eren’s eyes widened in shock as he looked up at Jean with his mouth gaping. “Are you
serious? After she told you that she rode some other guy’s dick? Wow, Jean, I didn’t realize
you were that pathetic.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Jean grumbled, he tried to hide his face behind a long sip from his beer,
but Eren saw the way his face darkened in embarrassment.

“Jesus Christ, have a little self-respect, buddy,” Eren sighed, clapping his hand on Jean’s
shoulder. “I know you’re desperate to have a successful relationship because of all your weird
issues with your parents, but this girl is not it.”

“What do you know?” Jean groaned, rolling his eyes. “Besides, we literally broke up less
than an hour ago. I’m not really in the headspace to be flirty with someone right now.”

“Don’t worry, I can do all the legwork,” Eren suggested, pulling him closer. “You just stand
there and look pretty, and I’ll do all the talking.”

When Jean didn’t immediately brush him off, Eren’s face broke out into an excited grin. His
eyes scanned the party looking for someone hot enough to help Jean forget about his ex. As
he looked at all the faces (and the tits and the asses) of all the girls at the party, he found his
eyes settling on you.
You were sitting on the couches with Connie and Sasha playing some kind of card game, but
you were obviously distracted. Your gaze was soft with adoration and Eren followed it until it
led him straight to the man beside him — you were staring at Jean.

“What’s the deal with your new friend?” Eren asked, nodding toward you.

Jean’s attention swiveled toward you on the couches and Eren watched as your eyes widened
in embarrassment from being caught, before quickly turning back to look at the tables.

“Oh, her?” Jean asked with a shrug. “We met at the Halloween Party at Hell’s Gate a few
weeks back. She’s super cool, the others really like her.”

“She’s hot,” Eren said, letting his eyes drift down your body. “Are you into her?”

“We’re friends.”

The way Jean snapped caused Eren to recoil in surprise.

Interesting, Eren noted. It seemed like Eren’s comment about you had struck a nerve. He
knew it was counter-productive in repairing Jean’s gloomy attitude — especially after Jean
already agreed to let Eren wingman him — but Eren couldn’t resist an opportunity to rile him
up.

“Just friends?”

“Yeah,” Jean said curtly, and Eren looked up at him to gauge his expression. He had his lips
pressed into a firm line and Eren could see that Jean’s ears had turned completely pink.

“I think she’s into you,” Eren grinned, nodding back toward you but Jean refused to look.
“She keeps looking over here.”

“Stop it, that isn’t funny.”

“Come on, just go make out with her or something. She wants it, I can tell.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

Jean was fully blushing now at this point, lips still pressed together as he nervously tapped
his fingers against his beer. He seemed to be looking everywhere in the party except the
couches, and Eren couldn’t help himself from egging him on further.

“Come on, man. You’re hot, she’s hot… the two of you could have a really sexy night
together.”

“Jesus Christ,” Jean hissed, finally turning to look down at Eren with a stern expression,
shrugging Eren’s arm off of his shoulder. “Cut it out, you’re making things awkward. She’s
just my friend.”

“I don’t think I could ever be just friends with someone who looked like that,” Eren
continued.
“Eren, stop it,” Armin scolded, frowning. “You’re making Jean uncomfortable.”

“Ok, fine,” Eren conceded, raising his hands up against his chest in surrender. “But I’m not
going to let those cute, pouty lips go un-kissed. If you don’t wanna make out with her, then I
will.”

“Fuck off,” Jean snapped, glaring at him. “Don’t touch her.”

“You know, I think I was wrong,” Eren teased, looking back over at you on the couch. “I
think she’s actually looking at me.”

“I’m serious,” Jean snapped. “Leave her alone. I’m not letting you hook up with one of my
friends. I know what you’re like, you’re just going to hurt her.”

“I bet she’d go home with me if I asked,” Eren continued, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Don’t.”

“Why do you care so much? If you’re not into her, why can’t I have her?”

“Guys,” Armin said sternly.

“I never said that. Stop talking about her like she’s a toy, Jaeger.”

“Are you jealous she’ll like me better?”

“I already told you, I’m not in the fucking mood for your bullshit right now. Just stay away
from her.”

“Or what , Kirstein? You gonna stop her from bouncing on my fucking d—”

Jean reached forward, grabbing Eren by the collar as he snarled down at him. “I’m fucking
serious, keep your hands off of her.”

“Guys!” Armin said sharply, finally causing the other two to stop. They looked over at him
with stern expressions, still heated from their argument. “You guys are yelling, you need to
relax.”

“It’s not my fault Jean is acting like a child,” Eren said, brushing Jean’s hands off of him.

“You’re the one acting like a child.”

“Guys!” Armin frowned up at them, crossing his arms over his chest with a huff. “Eren,
you’re being a jerk. Jean had a really hard day today and you’re not making it any better.”
Jean smirked at Eren smugly.

Eren scoffed and rolled his eyes, annoyed that Armin was on Jean’s side about this, but he
conceded.
Jean had always been intense like this whenever Eren joked about hooking up with Sasha.
Eren had a reputation for being the worst kind of fuckboy, so of course Jean didn’t want Eren
to go for one of his close friends — but the blushing? That was new.

“Come on, she’s your friend now, but we all know the three of you never let anyone join your
little circle,” Eren said pointedly. “It’s been The Golden Trio for like five fuckin’ years. Every
time you guys try to bring someone new into the group, they never last.”

“This girl is different,” Jean said and Eren could see in his eyes that he was serious.

“Ok, ok, fine. If Jean doesn’t want to fuck his cute little friend —”

“Jesus Christ, Eren.”

“— then we can just get drunk and have a fun time at the party,” Eren proposed, looking
between Jean and Armin expectantly. “No girls, just us.”

“I think that’s a good idea,” Armin nodded, looking up at Jean, too.

Jean sighed heavily, rubbing his face with his palm before running his hand through his hair.
“Yeah, ok. Let’s do that.”

The three boys clinked their drinks together, raising them up for a toast. Just as Jean opened
his mouth to speak, a small blonde girl charged into their little circle, pushing past Eren and
Armin to punch Jean square in the chest.

“Ow! What the fuck, Annie?” Jean groaned, stumbling backward. “What’s your problem?”

“What are you doing here?” she snapped, looking up at him with pure malice in her eyes.

Eren didn’t want to get involved in this drama, so he casually slipped out of the circle toward
the couches. “I’m gonna go introduce myself to your new friend,” he said, eyes glinting with
mischief.

“I told you to stay away from her,” Jean frowned, stepping forward to chase after him but
Annie pushed him solidly back against the wall.

“You’re not going anywhere until I’m through with you,” she spat, and Jean looked down at
her in alarm.

Eren grinned, nodding goodbye to Armin as he turned to approach you, Connie, and Sasha on
the couches. None of you looked up until he settled himself down on the cushion next to you.

“What are you guys playing?” he asked, gesturing to the cards with one hand while he
brought his drink up to his lips with the other. Eren kept his eyes fixed on you as you looked
from the table up to his face. He realized that you were a lot hotter than he originally thought,
now seeing you up close.

“It’s called Fuck the Dealer,” you explained, pointing at Connie. “Connie’s the dealer right
now, so he gets the deck of cards. It’s Sasha’s turn so she gets two guesses to figure out what
the card is.”

“Seven,” Sasha said, eying the face-up cards on the table before making her decision.

“All of the cards that have been drawn are laid face-up here,” you said, pointing down at the
table. “It gets easier and easier to guess, the longer the game goes on.”

Connie peeks at the top card of the deck in his hand, eyes darting down to the table before
back up at Sasha. “Higher.”

“Queen?” Sasha asked, wincing.

“Fuck,” Connie groaned, throwing the card down on the table to reveal that Sasha’s guess
was correct.

As Connie started to drink from his beer, you leaned into Eren. “Sasha got it on her second
guess, so Connie has to drink three. If she had gotten it on her first, he would’ve had to drink
six.”

Eren nodded in understanding eyes fixed on your plush, soft lips as you spoke. He
unconsciously ran his tongue across his lower lip as he thought about kissing you. How did
such a pretty little thing like you become friends with Jean?

“Ok, Eren, your turn,” Connie said, nodding toward him.

Eren leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees to get a good view of the cards on the
table. Almost every number had been drawn at least once already, except one. “Seven,” he
said confidently.

“Lower.”

Looking back down at the table, Eren scanned the lower cards. “Uh, what about an Ace?”

Connie laughed, throwing the card down on the table. “That was a ballsy guess, and it did not
pay off — drink up!”

Eren looked down to see the card drawn was a six and he looked up to you for clarification.
“Do I drink three because it was my second guess?”

“Not quite,” you said with a smile. “If you lose, you have to drink the difference between
your last guess and the card. So you have to drink,” you tap on each card as you count, “Five
drinks.”

Eren cringed but did as he was told — five long swallows of his beer. “This game is brutal,”
he said.

“You just don’t want to be the person stuck with the cards at the end of the game,” you said
with a laugh. “If you’re the dealer when there are only a few cards left, you’re guaranteed to
get fucked.”
“Is Connie not the dealer for the whole game?”

“No,” you shook your head. “If three people guess incorrectly in a row, he can pass the deck
on to Sasha.”

“Dangerous,” Eren said, clicking his tongue.

“Yeah,” you agreed before turning your attention to Connie for your turn.

Throughout the course of the game, Eren nudged himself closer and closer to you until your
thighs were pressed flush against one another and his arm was slung around the back of your
couch cushion. To his delight, you seemed to be leaning more and more into him the drunker
you got, too — and Jean never came by to pull him away from you. Just like Eren thought,
Jean was all bark and no bite. If he really cared, he would’ve stormed over here and drug
Eren away from you.

But Eren was all bark, too. If Jean didn’t want him to hook up with someone, he’d keep his
hands off of them. Despite the bravado and the taunting, Eren respected Jean’s opinion. If
Jean decided that you were off limits, then you were off limits — but for some reason, with
you, Eren was having a hard time holding himself back.

Sasha had been stuck as the dealer for a while and things were not looking good for her as
more cards were drawn.

“You should be worried,” you whispered into Eren’s ear, breath hot against his skin. It sent
shivers down his spine and blood rushing to his cock — you had to know what you were
doing to him, you little tease. “If Sasha passes the deck, you’re fucked.”

He smirked, watching as Connie guessed correctly on his second try. “I think I’ll be fine,” he
said, turning and leaning toward you. Your cheeks were flushed from the alcohol with a
seemingly permanent smile plastered across your face, it was cute.

Eren couldn’t stop thinking about how soft your lips would feel against him — how soft
they’d feel wrapped around him. He slid his tongue out again, brushing it across his lower
lip, and watched as your eyes drifted down to his mouth. Fuck, he wanted to kiss you so bad.

Sasha snapped her fingers in Eren’s face, breaking him out of his thoughts. “Ok, come on,
Eren, it’s your turn. I’ve got a good feeling about this round.”

Without even looking at the table, Eren made his guess. “Five.” He watched your eyes
bounce back to meet his gaze, pupils dilated in arousal. Your face was so close to his — were
you leaning into him?

“Higher.”

“Queen.”

“Drink… three!”
Your smile turned devilish as you looked up at him. “See? I told you,” you sang, before
turning away to look at Sasha. Eren felt like he could finally breathe for the first time, once
you broke his gaze.

“Ten,” you guessed and Sasha shook her head. She gave you a thumbs down in response and
you tapped your chin in thought. “What about a two?”

“Yikes. Drink five!” Sasha cheered, throwing another card down on the table. She was
practically vibrating with excitement as she turned to Connie. “Your turn!”

“Three?” Another thumb down. “Lower than a three?” Connie asked in disbelief. “Alright, I
got a fifty-fifty shot here.”

He rubbed his hands together like a little fly, looking between the stack of three cards on the
Ace and the stack of two on the Two. “My odds are telling me it’s Two, but my gut is telling
me…” he looked up at Sasha, “Give me an Ace.”

“Drink one!” Sasha cheered, slamming the card down triumphantly before thrusting the deck
toward Eren. “Thank God!”

Eren took the stack of cards from Sasha and thumbed through it quickly. The deck in his hand
was still relatively thick, so there was still a chance he’d be able to get away with passing it
on to you.

“Five,” Sasha guessed quickly, tapping the stack of cards on the table impatiently.

“Higher.”

“Give me an Eight, then!” Eren flipped the card over to reveal a Queen, causing Sasha to
groan in defeat. “God, this is worse than being the dealer.”

When Eren turned to you, you were already looking up at him with plush, half-parted lips and
big, innocent eyes. “What’s your guess going to be, cutie?” he asked, smiling.

You laughed, raising your hand up to your mouth to cover your smile as you shyly looked
away. Eren thought it was cute. Everything about you was so cute — he wanted to ruin you.

“Seven?”

Eren peeked down at the card, it was a Five of Hearts. He looked back up at you with a
smirk. “Lower,” he said.

You looked over at the table to see what the available cards were, eyebrows scrunching up in
thought as you weighed your options. “Lower than a Seven,” you mumbled to yourself, eyes
scanning the table before settling on something with a raise of your eyebrows.

Looking up at him with that sweet, corruptible expression again, you said, “Three?”

Eren clenched his teeth, sucking in a breath as he flipped the card over and watched you
slump in defeat. He tossed the card onto the table and quickly placed his hand over the mouth
of your drink before you could bring it up to your lips, speaking before he could even think.

“Instead of drinking, why don’t you give me a kiss?”

He watched your eyes widen in surprise — in want — but then they darted away from Eren’s
face to something just behind him, before returning to his gaze. “I’ll take the drink,” you said,
pushing his hand off the top of your cup and bringing it up to your mouth.

Eren was disappointed, but he tried not to show it, instead turning to Connie for his turn.
“Come on, let’s go, man,” he said, impatiently.

Connie paused to think it over, and Eren took that time to look behind him at what you were
staring at — what you were looking at that stopped you from kissing him, when he knew you
wanted to.

Jean fucking Kirstein.

Right, Jesus. Eren had to control himself.

Eren and Jean were best friends. Eren would die for Jean. Despite their differences and their
constant bickering, Eren loved Jean, and Jean had already made himself clear — you were
untouchable.

“Ten,” Connie said.

“What?” Eren asked, returning his attention back to the game. “Ten?”

“Yeah, Ten.”

“Lower.”

“Fuck. Six?”

“Sixes are out, Connie,” you said, tapping the flipped-over stack of cards where the Sixes
were.

“That still counts as a guess, right?” Eren asked, looking over at you and you responded with
a nod, eyes down at your lap.

He could tell he embarrassed you when he asked you to kiss him. It was cute, so fucking
cute.

Eren flipped over the card to reveal an Ace, causing Connie to groan out in frustration.
“There’s my Ace!”

“You better guess right, Sasha,” Eren said, still looking over at you. “If you get this one
wrong, you’re gonna make me fuck this little cutie over here.”

He watched your face bloom in embarrassment, eyes widening and darting up to meet
Sasha’s gaze. Despite your wide eyes and blank expression, he knew it wasn’t panic — it was
excitement.

Maybe Jean would let Eren have you if he saw how hot you were getting for him. Sure, you
were staring at Jean, but you wanted Eren — he could tell.

“Five?” Sasha asked, looking over at Eren with pursed lips and a furrowed brow. Eren shook
his head and pointed up at the ceiling. “Queen?”

“It’s a Ten,” Eren said with a sigh, tossing the card down onto the table and handing the deck
over to you.

You frowned as you took the cards from him, thumbing through the deck and realizing that
there weren't very many cards left in the stack. You peeked at the top card, eyes flicking over
to the table, and then up to Eren’s face. With a heavy sigh, you said, “Pick a card.”

As the dealer, you got fucked. There were too many cards on the table for you to get enough
wrong guesses to pass along the deck, so you ended up finishing what was left of your drink
as well as an entirely new drink. Eren watched you in amusement as you struggled to chug
the last few gulps, some of it spilling out of the side of your mouth in haste.

“Hey, let me get you a water or something,” Eren laughed, squeezing your knee gently before
standing up and heading toward the kitchen.

He rummaged through the kitchen cabinets, looking for some cups or glasses but found
nothing. He even tried to look for a fucking bowl that you could drink out of, but again,
nothing. This place was worse than Hell’s Gate.

“Yo, Eren.”

He looked up to see Jean leaning against the kitchen counter, face flushed from alcohol, eyes
glazed — wasted.

“Come piss off the deck with me.”

Eren laughed, immediately forgetting about his task of getting you water to join Jean out on
the patio.

The two boys stood next to each other at the edge of the patio, lowering their zippers, and
pulling out their dicks to piss between the bars of the railing, laughing like a couple of
teenagers. Out in the cold, November air, Eren could feel how hot his cheeks were from all
the drinking he did during the game with you. He felt a little unsteady on his feet and the tips
of his fingers were buzzing — he was a lot drunker than he thought.

“That new friend of yours sure is something,” Eren whistled, looking over at Jean.

“She’s fuckin’ cool, right?” Jean agreed, grinning. “She’s a good fit with everyone. I told
you, she’s different.”

“Yeah, fuck, eh? Plan on keeping this one around?”

“Until I fucking die,” Jean laughed. “She’s fun to be around, easy on the eyes, and she rounds
out the group… I really like her.”

Eren watched Jean’s grin grow impossibly wider and his face flush. Eren tilted his head
curiously to the side, rolling his tongue against his cheek as he considered the events from
this evening.

“Jean…” Eren started, waiting until Jean tilted his head to face him before continuing, “Do
you have feelings for that girl?”

***

Eren looks at you, face flushed and eyes closed, your chest heaving as you try to catch your
breath. The two of you are a sticky mess of sweat and cum and tears. It's a mystery how he
isn’t completely snapping you in half from how tightly his arms are wrapped around your
waist. Realizing now that he might be hurting you, he loosens his grip, resting his hands on
your hips. He takes a moment to sigh against your skin, fists opening and closing loosely as
he tries to regain feeling in his fingers.

Eren has never cum so hard before in his life, and definitely never back-to-back like that.
He’s still struggling to straighten his vision, focusing on the pine-tree air freshener dangling
from his rearview mirror.

He can feel a tinge of pain on his arms from where your nails broke the skin, but he doesn’t
mind, he likes having little reminders of you on his body. Eren leans forward and presses his
lips against your throat, sucking and biting at the soft flesh as you squirm beneath him — he
wants to mark you, too.

“Hey, that tickles,” you squeak, but he doesn’t stop.

Once he feels like he’s left a sufficiently dark bruise on your neck, he sits back against his
chair, grabs his vape from the centre console, and turns it on to take a long drag. He admires
the mark on your neck, knowing that it’ll only grow darker and uglier tomorrow. He grins
smugly, wishing that he could be around to see Jean’s face when he sees that.

You shift in his lap until you are cuddled against his chest, your sweaty, sticky bodies
clinging together in your post-sex haze. His cock is still buried inside of you, still so sensitive
that Eren’s worried he might cry from pulling out. He looks down at you as you close your
eyes against his chest and he gently plays with your hair. He feels his heart clench at the sight
of you curled up in his lap like this, and then it suddenly sinks into the pit of his stomach.

Eren’s been feeling weird around you recently. He’s not sure what to make of it. All he knows
is that he wants to keep you here, just like this, until you wake up and look at him with your
sleepy eyes.

“So, what’s the deal with you and Jean?” Eren asks, trying to keep his tone level as you draw
circles on his arm with your fingertip.

“Jean kissed me last night but then got all weird about it.”
“Weird, how?”

You sigh, resting your forehead on Eren’s shoulder. “He just kept saying: I’m sorry, we can’t,
I’m so sorry. And now he won’t talk about it at all with me.”

“Did you ask him what that means?”

“No,” you whine. “I’m scared that he regrets it.”

It’s annoying how passive you are about this situation. Everything could be solved and out in
the open if you just sat Jean down and had a conversation with him, but for some reason,
you’re too fucking scared to do that. So instead, the possibility of failure is scaring you into
inaction — that's something you and Jean have in common.

It’s your own fault, really, so Eren doesn’t feel sorry for you. Especially not when it benefits
him like this.

“Yeah, maybe he regrets it,” Eren agrees with a shrug and you whine louder.

“Eren!”

“Come on,” Eren urges. “He’s just pissed that you and I are hooking up. He doesn’t want
you, he just doesn’t want me to have you.”

“You don’t think he likes me?”

Eren’s intention is to discourage your feelings for Jean, but he regrets it immediately when he
hears how broken you sound. Fuck.

“I don’t know,” he responds quickly, backtracking. “Jean’s always been stupid… you just
need to talk to him.”

Fuck. Now he’s overcorrecting.

“Or just wait, maybe,” he adds. “Give him space and he’ll eventually say something to you,
probably.”

“Yeah?”

Eren wants to roll his eyes. Of course, that’s the response you latch on to the most — any
opportunity for you to continue to be passive as you wait for Jean to say something to you.

“Yeah, totally,” Eren says, kissing you softly against your neck, grunting when he feels you
squeeze around him. “I mean, the plan’s working, right?”

“Right,” you agree, and he can feel you smiling against his skin.

Eren’s tired of sharing his time with you with Jean. He’s tired of hearing you talk about Jean.
He’s tired of pretending like he’s doing this to help you with Jean.
 He knows he’s being selfish and petty, but he wants your full, undivided attention. Eren can
tell that you trust him and his opinion — too much, really — but whenever it comes to Jean,
it’s like you just plug your ears and tune him out, only listening to what you want to hear.

He needs you to forget about Jean fucking Kirstein.

And what better way to do that, than to steal you away for a few weeks? Without that horse-
faced fuck in the picture, Eren can fill your pretty little head with thoughts of just Eren Eren
Eren.

“Did you hear about the Reeves job?” Eren asks, taking another slow drag from his vape
before exhaling the smoke out his cracked window.

Chapter End Notes

Congratulations on making it to the end of the first arc of this story!!

I’m hoping I did a good job of planting all my hooks, to be pulled and revealed in future
arcs, and that I didn’t leave anything hanging or forgotten. But, this is just my little
hobby story that I write in my free time, so please don’t expect perfection!

Thanks so much for your support! It always feels surreal to see how people are so
invested and to see so many of you enjoying the ride. I always read the comments on
Tuesday morning after I post the next chapter and it’s become something that I really

I love seeing what you guys catch and also what you miss… 👀
look forward to each week -- even when you guys scream at me hehehe
It's getting harder for
me to respond to the comments without giving the whole plot away!! Some of you are
very perceptive!

discussions in the comments!! Ahh, it brings me so much joy 💕

I LOVE everyone’s guesses about what’s going to happen!! And seeing you have little

Have I made everyone unlikeable? 😂 Who do you think we’re gonna end up with? Are
we gonna get fired? Any other thoughts or theories about little crumbs I’ve left
throughout the story?

I love you all so much and I’ll see you next week for the beginning of Arc 2!

Sidenote for my Team Jean fans: I'm working on an absolutely filthy belated birthday
one-shot for our precious boy because I love writing smut about Jean Kirstein hehehe so
keep your eyes peeled for that (hopefully) this weekend!
 The Reeves Job
Chapter Notes

Apologies in advance! Admittedly, the pacing in this chapter is kind of weird but I
needed to move things along quickly after the events in the previous two chapters.

Also, I increased the total chapter count!!

I’ve finished plotting out each chapter in the final arc and we might end up closer to
40+, but after writing and editing I usually cut things out so I’m just projecting 35 for
now.

cw: Explicit language

Of course, you tell Jean about the Reeves job on the car ride to work on Monday morning.

“This is our chance to really prove ourselves to the higher-ups,” you say excitedly, eyes
bright. “You can prove to Erwin that you’re more than just a Kirstein, and I can prove that
I’m actually competent at my job!”

“And we can just ask to get put on the job?” Jean asks, eyebrows raised in disbelief.

You shrug, “That’s what Eren said he did.”

“Is that where you were last night?” You blush and look away as Jean’s penetrating stare
darts to the mark on your neck, the one from last night that you couldn’t cover up with
makeup. “I’m surprised you went to see him this weekend.”

“It’s nothing,” you say and Jean scoffs. “Let’s focus on the Reeves job.”

The Reeves Company is a new, really important client that Titan has just acquired. Eren
didn’t know all of the details, just that they needed both accountants and consultants on the
job and that it required going out to the client’s site in Trost.

Petra and Oluo are in charge of building the teams for their respective departments, and Oluo
had already asked Eren to be a part of it. Eren wasn’t sure who else Oluo asked, or if Petra
had started building her team yet.

“I think if we talk to Petra, we can get her to put us on the job,” you say. “It might be a
tougher sell for me to get on the team, but there’s no way she wouldn’t put you on. You’re
probably already on it.”

“Because I’m a Kirstein,” Jean says with a sigh.

“Yeah, but, you can use this as an opportunity to prove yourself as more than just a Kirstein.”

“You know I’m from Trost, right?” Jean asks, glancing over at you from the road. “Everyone
knows who I am there.”

“I thought your Dad wasn’t well-liked by all of the other Trost-onians.”

“Trost-onians,” Jean repeats, amused.

“What do you call yourselves?”

“People of Trost.”

“Lame,” you say with a huff, watching as Jean’s eyes crinkle in amusement. “Come on, Jean.
It’ll be like a little vacation. I really want you to come, I don’t know what I’d do without
you!”

“What about your precious Eren Jaeger?” he taunts.

You wave your hand in the air in dismissal. “I would rather have you there with me than
Eren.” You look down to try to hide your blush as he smiles at your admission.

He tries to make a non-commital grunt, but you see the way his eyes light up at the thought.
He reaches across the centre console to rest his hand on your thigh, but on his way over, his
hand hesitates — clenches into a fist — and then returns to his thigh.

To say that things between the two of you have been strained since the kiss would be an
understatement. You haven’t talked about it at all and now it’s like there is this giant elephant
looming over both of you during every conversation.

Anytime the two of you are alone together, Jean becomes visibly jittery — you’re surprised
he agreed to drive you to work today after how he acted all weekend. You half expected him
to make up some excuse for you to get to work separately, just to avoid the awkward
commute together.

His mood swings from normal to awkward to angry every few minutes, and it’s hard for you
to keep up. Maybe he just needs some time to process what happened — God knows you
spent the entire night awake in bed overanalyzing the incident in your room. Your whole
friendship, in fact.

You want to take Eren’s advice to heart and wait for Jean to approach you, but you can’t help
but worry that your window of opportunity with him is closing, and you feel haunted by
Eren’s comment.

He doesn’t want you, he just doesn’t want Eren to have you.

Your plan with the Reeves job is to spend some time away from home with Jean alone. It
seems like every time the two of you try to move forward in your relationship, Connie and
Sasha do something to interrupt you.
If Sasha hadn’t walked by, how far would the two of you have gone?

If you and Jean are alone for a while, he might finally relax enough for you to have a real
conversation again. You can use this as an opportunity to get him to talk to you about his
feelings and clear the air.

To talk about the kiss.

To talk about your relationship.

“Ok, sure,” Jean says with a sigh, shaking his head. “I hope we both get to go.”

***

You decide to go meet with Petra in the morning for an informal chat at her cubicle when you
get to the office. Her desk isn’t far from yours, so after you drop off your things and take a
sip of your vanilla latte, you head over to see her.

She’s already sitting at her desk, flipping through her planner and prioritizing her day when
you pull up a chair next to her.

You smile at her, gesturing vaguely to her outfit when she looks up at you with annoyance.
“You look really pretty today.”

She arches a brow, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms over her chest as she looks
at you. “What do you want?”

“I want you to put me on the Reeves job,” you say, clutching your hands to your chest.
“Please, Petra, I will work so hard and eat every single hour of overtime to help with the
billables.”

She scoffs, looking away. “How did you even hear about that?”

Your face falls. Was it supposed to be a secret? “I heard from Oluo,” you lie, “He said you
and him are picking the teams.”

She rolls her eyes, muttering a quiet Typical under her breath before turning back to you.
“Well, you’ll be happy to hear that I was actually already planning on booking you for this
job. I talked with Erwin about it on Friday and he thinks it will be a good way to measure
your improvement.” Your eyes light up in excitement, ready to thank her profusely when she
raises a hand. “But, I need to talk to you about something first.”

“What is it?”

“It’s about Eren.”

You stiffen. “What about Eren? Is he in trouble?”

She squints, looking at you curiously. “Nobody’s in trouble. Oluo told me… well, never
mind. What I’m trying to say is, whatever you and him have going on, don’t let it affect your
work performance.”

You blush, leaning away from Petra to digest this information. So much for: what happens in
the lunchroom, stays in the lunchroom. You tug the collar of your blouse over your neck to
hide the hickey from last night.

“We would never,” you say, scandalized. “It’s not like that with us.”

“I don’t care what’s going on,” Petra says firmly. “But, this is a really important job and I’m
not going to let your stupid little relationship drama ruin this for me. I’m serious. I’m up for
promotion at the end of this term and if you two screw it up by screwing each other I’m
going to be pissed.”

“Ok, Petra,” you say, brows furrowed. “It’s not going to be an issue. I promise.”

She looks at you sternly. “I’m not fucking around with you. If you two can’t keep it in your
pants and focus on the job, this is going to reflect poorly on your PIP. There’s more than just
my promotion on the line here. Your job is at stake, too.”

You hold out your pinkie to Petra, “I swear.”

She rolls her eyes, pushing your hand away from her. “Do I look like I’m five years old?
Give me a break.” She turns back to her desk, waving her hand at you in dismissal. “We’re
going to have a planning meeting later this afternoon, so be ready for it.”

Giddy, you hurry back to your desk to tell Jean the good news, and you practically run into
him in the hallway.

“Woah!” he hisses, stumbling backward, trying not to spill the hot drinks in his hands.
“Watch where you’re going,” he scolds — angry.

“Sorry!” you squeak, taking a step back to give the two of you some breathing room. “I was
so excited to get back to see you from Petra’s,” you explain as Jean frowns down at the paper
coffee cups in his hands. “Where are you headed?”

“I was trying to do something nice for you, actually,” he spits, but when you look up at his
face you can see that he’s blushing. “I saw that you didn’t have a coffee this morning, so I
went and got you one.”

“Oh!” you say, surprised when he pushes the cup into your hand, and when he pulls his hand
away you can see it trembling before he squeezes it into a tight fist and stuffs it into his
pocket. “You got this for me?”

“Yeah,” he has his gaze fixed on the floor as he talks to you — awkward. “I know you like to
have coffee in the morning so when I saw you didn’t have one, I went and got one for you.”

“What did you get?”

“It’s an americano, I think?” he says, scratching the back of his neck. “I dunno what you
usually get because you always make your own… so, I just asked the barista for something
with espresso — I know you don’t like the sweet shit.”

You struggle to fight back a grin as you look down at the drink in your hands. “Thanks,
Jean.”

“Yeah,” he huffs, finally looking back up at you as the two of you walk together back to your
cubicles. “Just watch it when you’re running around corners, ok?”

“Sorry,” you say sheepishly, blowing the steam from your cup before taking a small sip. “I
talked with Petra and she said they’re gonna put me on the job.”

Jean’s face lights up — back to normal, now. “Hey, that’s great news!”

“She said it was going to be a test of my skills,” you continue.

“You worried?”

You purse your lips in thought, stopping with Jean at his desk and leaning carefully against
the small half-wall as he settles into his seat. “I dunno. I’m feeling pretty good after this
weekend, but I know this’ll be tougher than the small files I’ve been working on so far.”

“I think you’ll do great,” Jean smiles, lacing his fingers behind his head as he reclines back in
his chair. You try not to let your gaze wander when his thighs fall open against the armrests.
“They must trust you a lot if they’re putting you on a new client.”

You shrug in response, but his encouraging words warm your heart.

“And even if it sucks and you do shit, it’s ok.”

“Gee, thanks.”

He laughs, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees as he looks up at you. “No,
I’m serious. I know you’re stressed as shit right now with everything going on. You must feel
like you’re under a ton of pressure, but just don’t let it get to you.”

You offer him a noncommittal hum, rolling your eyes as you take a sip from your drink. “I’m
not going to just give up.”

“It’s not giving up,” he says and he reaches forward with one hand like he’s about to reach for
yours, but ends up resting it on the desk beside you. “I just don’t think you should be crying
about work. If that’s how this place makes you feel, then is it really worth it?”

You hum again, eyes fixed on his hand tapping against the desk. Sucking your cheek into
your mouth, you rest your hand on the table next to his, and you watch his hand twitch, like
he’s about to jerk away, but he leaves it there.

“I know how scary it is to do something different than what people expect of you,” he says
with a sigh. “But the Core Four is here for you no matter what, ok?”

“Yeah, ok,” you say with a chuckle.

Jean inches his hand toward yours on the desk and you can feel your heartbeat pounding in
your chest. He’s not even touching you, yet.

“We should get back to work,” he says after a long pause, and his words are sharp and
clipped — angry again, you note.

“Right,” you say with a heavy sigh when he removes his hand from the desk, spinning in his
chair to face his computer. It was nice having Normal Jean back for a bit.

When you go back to your desk, you take another sip from your drink, clicking your tongue
in your mouth in reaction to the bitter taste. Your palate has changed after drinking vanilla
lattes almost every day for the past three months, so although you usually love americanos,
you’re struggling to finish your drink without twisting your mouth from the taste.

But remembering that Jean got it for you, helps with the struggle.

He may be acting weird, but you try to recognize this moment as a small victory.

***

You and Jean receive a meeting invitation from Petra in the afternoon. The invitation is
private, so you can’t see who else is invited to attend, but you know Jean is invited because
when you get the email, you squeal and immediately look up at him.

“Yeah, I got it, too,” he confirms with a grin and you have to clench your fists to stop
yourself from clapping in joy.

You’re happy that Petra is giving you this chance to prove yourself — but not only that,
you’re happy that you can spend some time away with Jean. The two of you have never gone
anywhere without Connie and Sasha.

You and Jean pack up your things in preparation for the meeting. You grab your trusty
notepad and pen, while Jean folds up his laptop and tucks it under his arm. Together, you
walk toward the elevators to get to the Maria boardroom, one of the larger boardrooms
located on a lower floor from the cubicles.

You’ve never been to a meeting on this floor before, but Jean’s been here multiple times
when working on special projects with Erwin, so he’s able to lead you through the maze of
offices until you see the top of Eren’s bun over the half-frosted glass of the meeting room’s
glass wall.

You nudge Jean in the side and gesture to the doorway. “I see Eren, it must be here,” you say,
giddy.

Eren lifts his head up from his laptop when you walk in and grins, nodding his head toward
the empty seat next to him for you to sit down before his gaze hardens at the sight of Jean
trailing in behind you. On his other side is a red-headed guy you recognize as Floch Forster,
one of the owners of Hell’s Gate, the party house you and your friends used to go to in
university. You didn’t know that he worked here at Titan, too.
Jean sits across from you, next to Petra and Oluo, and there’s another person you don’t
recognize sitting at the head of the table, flipping through their notes.

“We’re just waiting on a few more people,” they say, pushing their glasses up the bridge of
their nose as they look up.

Moments later, Reiner walks into the room, face lighting up when he sees you. He gives you
a small wave before sitting down next to Jean and as you’re waving back, you almost miss
the person who comes in immediately after him.

“Sorry,” Pieck squeaks, keeping her head low as she settles into the last remaining seat next
to you. “I had a meeting run a little later than I was expecting.”

You bristle beside her when she looks over at you, resting her elbow on the table and her chin
in her hand. You don’t need to look over at her to know she’s grinning at you, smug. Instead,
you try to focus all of your attention on the person sitting at the head of the table, presumably
the manager in charge of the client.

“For those of you who I haven’t met before, my name is Hange Zoe, Senior Manager in
Titan’s consulting division,” they say, taking a moment to look at each person in the room. “I
worked… probably ten years in accounting? Then I transferred to consulting. Due to the
nature of this particular job, Erwin thought that it was best if I lead the engagement.”

Hange sighs, looking back down at their computer and clicking away rapidly. “Unfortunately,
Erwin couldn’t make it to the meeting this afternoon, so I’ll be going over all the details of
our new client with you here today.

“The Reeves Company is a merchant organization led by the Reeves family — aptly named
— located in Trost,” Hange explains as everyone takes notes. “They’re a new client for us
this year, transferring from another firm, MPB, after the death of the previous owner. His son
has entrusted us to fix the mess in their organization that he believes was caused by MPB.

“MPB, unfortunately, was not kind enough to send over their working papers from when the
Reeves Company was their client, so we will be working from scratch. Please reference some
of the work done in Berg Newspapers when working on this client. Although they are in
different industries, the templates should be relatively similar.

“The accounting and consulting divisions will be working separately, to prevent a conflict of
interest, but the client has requested that both teams come out for the same time period to
quicken the turnaround time on our ending reports.”

Petra raises her hand, “How much time will we have to work out on the field for this client?”

Hange sighs, removing their glasses to set them on top of their head. “Sadly, Petra, we are
already working with a tight budget for this client. To reduce the impact this will have on our
bottom line, we can only afford to have you out for two weeks of fieldwork, so please make
the most of your time there.”
She frowns, lowering her hand dejectedly as she takes notes on her computer. You and Jean
exchange a worried look. If Petra is concerned about this, should you be too?

“Travel and accommodations will be provided by the firm, but please do not expect anything
glamorous and fancy. As I said, there is a tight budget on this client so I appreciate you all
cutting corners where possible.”

“Will we be coming home on the weekends?” Pieck asks, blushing when all eyes turn on her
from the interruption.

“Unfortunately, no. We can’t afford to fly the team back and forth. Besides, you’ll probably
be working overtime to get all of the work done for this client.”

Hange goes over all of the important details about the client, the location, and important
considerations before turning the meeting over to Oluo and Petra to discuss task allocation.
You and the other juniors frantically take notes, heart sinking with every new task that gets
added to your plate.

Petra makes sure to remind you all that aside from the monstrous additional workload that
you are getting from this client, you all also have to consider your current workload. Those
tasks don’t just go away because you’re working on a new job, the managers of your existing
jobs still expect you to complete your previously assigned tasks.

She makes pointed looks at you and Reiner when she says this, and you hope none of the
others notice.

Hange gives the team the rest of the week to prepare for the job and get as much done as
possible at the office before flying out for Trost on Sunday next week.

After a whirlwind of a planning meeting, you hear a soft ping! from your computer back at
your desk. Opening the chat, you see Floch has created a group chat with you and the other
juniors on the Reeves Job.

Floch Forster: Hey TEAM.

Floch Forster: I bet consulting can get this gig done faster than accounting can

Jean Kirstein: Yeah right.

Jean Kirstein: All of you guys are slackers. I bet you’re gonna have to beg Oluo for an
extension because you’re gonna be so behind.

Pieck Finger: :(

Eren Jaeger: big talk for someone who only got put on the job because his daddy runs the
town

Jean Kirstein: Shut the fuck up, Jaeger

Eren, chill
Floch Forster: Nothing wrong with some friendly competition, right folks? :)
Floch Forster: Why don’t we make this a little interesting?

Jean Kirstein: I’m listening.

Floch Forster: Whichever team finishes the job faster gets free dinner and drinks when we
get back home

Eren Jaeger: ayooo

Eren Jaeger: get your wallets ready, accounting

Reiner Braun: Are you guys sure about this?

Jean Kirstein: Fuck you, Jaeger.

Jean Kirstein: We’re getting the free dinner

Pieck Finger: Yay! Fun!

Reiner Braun: Why don’t we compete individually?

Floch Forster: Pussyyyyyy

Jean Kistein: Let’s just do it. It’ll be fine.

Jean Kirstein: Come onnnn

Ok

Reiner Braun: Sure

You know exactly what’s going through Reiner’s head right now because you’re thinking the
same thing. How are the two of you supposed to help Jean win this bet when you’re both on
the Performance Improvement Plan?

You sigh, minimizing the screen as Floch and Jean flesh out the details of the bet. Asking to
be put on this job is starting to seem like a bad idea. Not only is it a complicated, brand-new
client, but also there’s a tight deadline that even has Petra worried, and you still have to work
on all of your existing files while out of town.

Is this more trial by fire? If you can’t keep up with all of the demands of this job, are Petra
and Erwin going to fire you when you come back from Trost?

You feel your heart sink into your stomach and sweat break out on your forehead. It’s entirely
possible that that is the case, especially with how Petra made sure to look at you and Reiner
when laying down the requirements of the job.

Not only that, but Pieck is on the job, too. So much for your plan to spend some time out of
town with just Jean and no other distractions. With Pieck in Trost, batting her eyelashes the
way she does and pressing her tits up to her neck… it’s only a matter of time before Jean is
putty in her hands again. That is, if he isn’t already.
You tried not to notice the way his eyes lit up when Pieck came into the boardroom, but it
was impossible to miss.

This little bet between the accounting and consulting teams is the least of your concerns.

After these two weeks, you might lose the two most important things in your life: your job
and Jean Kirstein.

***

You leave for Trost the following week by plane. You, the other juniors, Oluo, and Petra
arrive together at the Trost airport and rent two cars for transportation for your time in the
city. Hange told you that they wouldn’t be coming out until next week, they’re working from
the office until then. When the eight of you arrive at the hotel, bags in tow, Oluo and Petra go
to get your rooms sorted out while the rest of you wait in the lobby.

It’s a small, run-down hotel, similar to something that you and your friends might rent out in
a pinch. Considering the way Hange emphasized how important it was to stay on budget,
you’re not surprised that they cut corners when it came to the hotel.

The waiting area is furnished with outdated couches seated around a small wooden coffee
table. At the front desk, there’s just one small girl working and she barely looks old enough
to rent a room herself. The place has that old-building smell that causes your nose to crinkle
when you walk in.

You share a glance with Jean when you settle into one of the couches and he just shrugs in
response. You wonder if it’s weird for him to be staying at a hotel in his hometown.

“Ok, we have bad news and good news,” Petra says, walking over to the group with Oluo,
keycards in hand.

“What’s the good news?” Jean asks, taking the keycards from her.

“The good news is that Oluo and I have breakfast coupons for the hotel restaurant for
everyone,” she says with a forced grin.

“And the bad news?” Eren asks.

“Bad news,” Oluo chimes, “Is that the admin team screwed up our booking so… you guys
have to all double up.”

“There are two queen beds in each room,” Petra says as if that makes it any better. “We’ll
leave it up to you guys to decide who sleeps where.”

“Doesn’t this violate some sort of policy or something?” Jean asks, frowning.

“You’re adults, there’s nothing wrong with sharing rooms between coworkers,” Petra huffs.
“Sharing a room will build camaraderie and a sense of teamwork. This will help you all get to
know each other on a whole new level.”
“What about you guys?” Floch asks. “Are you sharing rooms too?”

Petra and Oluo share a look that lets you know that no, they definitely aren’t. But Oluo says,
“Yeah, us too!” which convinces absolutely no one.

Petra rolls her eyes and starts storming off to the elevators. “Look, if you have a problem
with this, take it up with Hange — better yet, give Erwin a call. See if he cares.” Oluo
glances between the juniors and Petra, before following her to the elevators.

Between the six juniors, there were three rooms available, each with two beds.

“How should we split everyone up?” Reiner asks, adjusting his duffle bag on his shoulder.
“Are you sure you can’t pull some strings with Erwin to get us all our own rooms? I know
you two are tight,” Reiner teases, nudging Jean in the side.

“The two of us can share a room,” Eren says, hooking his arm around your shoulder and
grinning wildly. He almost knocks you off balance with how aggressively he pulls you
toward him, reaching an arm out to Jean’s hands to snatch away a key card.

“No, dumbass. The girls will have to share.” Jean’s ears are tinged pink as he jerks the cards
out of Eren’s grasp.

“That makes the most sense,” Pieck agrees and Eren releases you with a scoff, but he
surprisingly doesn’t put up much of a fight.

Although you would have enjoyed staying in a room with Eren for the next two weeks, you
prefer this setup so you can make sure Pieck stays away from Jean. However, this definitely
throws a wrench in your plan to get Jean alone.

Jean looks down at the keycards in his hands for two matching ones and hands them to you
and Pieck, respectively.

“So, then it’s me and Reiner and Eren and Floch,” Jean says, handing out keys to the boys.
“Then the accountants and consultants are together. That makes sense, right?”

It’s already late after traveling all day, so you all decide to settle into your rooms for the night
in preparation for the first day at the client’s tomorrow. As described, it’s a mid-sized
bedroom with two queen beds, each side equipped with a small nightstand. There’s a small
bathroom and an even smaller kitchenette. You can’t imagine that you’ll be cooking anything
here, but it’s nice to have.

“This is home for the next while, I guess,” you sigh, closing the door after you and Pieck
walk in.

She just hums in response, walking over to the far bed and setting down her bags. She starts
to unzip them and unpack her things, and you follow suit on the near bed.

The tension in the room is thick — neither of you are happy about being stuck in the same
hotel room, but it’s not like there’s anything you can do about it.
“We’ll have to figure out a schedule for showering and getting ready,” you suggest. “Sharing
one bathroom could be tough."

“I shower at night,” she says curtly, walking past you to put her things into the bathroom.

You’re already annoyed with the situation, so her attitude lights a fire in you.

“Look, I don’t like this any more than you do,” you say, crossing your arms over your chest
and staring her down when she walks out. “But if we’re going to be stuck here for the next
two weeks, can you not be a raging cunt?”

At this, she laughs, quick and sharp. “I’m the cunt?” She walks past you back to her suitcase,
pulling out her clothes and stuffing them away in the hotel dresser roughly.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“You’ve been rude to me since day one!” Pieck wheels around to face you, a fire in her eyes
that you have never seen before. She looks wild — crazed. “You’re so mean to me, just
because I dated Jean!”

You fume at her words and deny everything. “You’re crazy.”

“Don’t get pissed at me for being rude when I’m just trying to defend myself!” she says,
scowling. “I don’t want things to be awkward between us, especially since we all have to
work together — can you just… be nice?”

“I’ll be nice as soon as you stop trying to manipulate Jean,” you say, twisting your face into
such a vicious scowl that your mouth hurts. “You keep flirting with him and stringing him
along as if you weren’t the one that broke his heart!”

She rolls her eyes dramatically. “You’re one to talk!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you ask, bristling.

“You and I are the same, you know,” she says, voice low as her eyes narrow. “Maybe the
reason why you hate me so much is because you see too much of yourself.” She opens her
mouth to continue but then snaps it shut as if deciding against it. “Whatever, it doesn’t
matter,” she says, shoving her now-empty suitcase under her bed.

You’re shaking in anger, but when she turns her back on you, you decide not to push things
any further. The tension in the air is even thicker than before, and you’re grateful when she
storms past you again to go into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind her.

You feel like you can finally breathe again when you hear the water of the shower running
and physically deflate onto your mattress with a heavy sigh.

Pieck is so infuriating. How dare she make it sound like you are the one causing issues, when
she’s the one that’s been a menace since day one?
You’re the one that’s been struggling on the defensive. Especially now that the two of you are
on this job with Jean. You can’t let her influence him and twist his thoughts — she is evil and
manipulative and she’s just going to break his heart all over again. She doesn’t deserve Jean,
not like you do.

Your phone buzzes at your side and you reach out for it to see a message from Sasha.

How’s night one with Jean????

Call me!!!!!

With a relieved sigh, you pull on your jacket and some shoes and head out of the hotel room.
There has to be a cafe somewhere you can sit and talk with Sasha — far away from Pieck.

***

“Tell me everything!” Sasha squeals the second she picks up the phone. “I hope I didn’t
interrupt anything between you and Jean.”

“Ugh, no, unfortunately,” you sigh, settling into your seat.

After pulling up directions on your phone, you were able to find a local cafe a block away
from the hotel. You got yourself a small herbal tea and settled into a booth in the back corner
of the store, away from any prying eyes and ears — not that there were many of those at 9
pm.

“Thanks to Titan being stingy, we all have to share hotel rooms,” you explain.

“That’s good! Isn’t it?”

“I’m not sharing with Jean,” you add. “I’m actually stuck sharing with Pieck.”

“Ew, we hate Pieck Finger,” Sasha says, making gagging noises over the phone. “Is she there
with you right now?”

“No, I left. We actually got in a fight right before you texted me.”

“About what?” Sasha yells. Even though you can’t see her over the phone, you know she’s
probably thrashing around in her bed in excitement.

“She said I’m the one being bitchy and that she’s just trying to be my friend,” you say, rolling
your eyes so hard that your head flops back against the headrest of your chair.

“Boo, what a bitch.”

“I wanted to tell her that Jean and I made out — I would’ve loved to see the look on her
face!”

“God, that would’ve been chaos!” Sasha giggles over the phone. “Tell me again what
happened with you and Jean. We never really got a chance to talk about it properly.”
“Ugh, I know, sorry,” you groan, fiddling with the small cardboard label of your tea bag as
your brows scrunch in thought. You let your eyes fall shut as you think back to that night
with Jean. “In the kitchen, he was acting really weird. He went on this weird monologue and
got all sappy.”

“Like what did he say?”

“He asked me if I trusted him.”

Sasha hums in response. “What do you think that means?”

“No clue. And then, later that night, he came into my room and told me that he was sorry and
that we shouldn’t do this.”

“Why didn’t you tell him you liked him!” Sasha screeches. “That would’ve been such a good
time. Oh my God, you two are so frustrating!”

“No, Sasha, he was being so weird,” you explain.

You can visualize it so clearly in your head. Jean looming over you, features barely visible in
the darkness of your room, but you could see the way his brows were furrowed and how
much his hands were shaking when he spoke.

“It really seemed like he regretted it,” you say quietly, eyes fluttering open. “Maybe it was
just a drunken mistake. We had a lot to drink that night.”

“Jean wouldn’t do that,” Sasha says quickly — sternly. “Maybe he was worried that you
regretted it.”

You hum in dismissal, taking a long, slow sip of your drink. “Since then, we haven’t talked
about it and now things are really weird between us.”

Sasha sighs heavily and even through the phone you can tell she’s frustrated with you. “I feel
like you just took one huge step forward and then two steps back. You and Jean kissed —
like, literally kissed!”

We did a little more than that, you want to add, remembering the way his hand on your hip
rocked you against his thigh, but you decide to keep that detail to yourself.

“Yeah,” you shrug, noncommittally.

Taking another sip from your tea, you look around the cafe that you’re seated in. It’s a small,
local place, with a single barista and a few other patrons seated throughout. It’s peaceful and
quiet in here, even with you chatting with Sasha on the phone. Being here reminds you of
your part-time job at university.

“You need to talk with Jean about the kiss.” Sasha whines, snapping you out of your
thoughts. “Confess your feelings or something. Maybe he’s on the phone with Connie right
now, talking about how he blew it with you!”
You laugh, rolling your eyes. “I know, I know. I don’t know how to bring it up now, though.
It’s been so long!”

“It’s been like, what? A week?”

“Yeah,” you clarify, sighing. “I dunno, Sasha. This is a really delicate situation.”

“What do you mean?”

You sigh, resting your face in your palm as you speak. “Well, I don’t know what’s going on
in Jean’s head. I know you said he wouldn’t, but what if it was just a drunken mistake? I
don’t want to make things awkward by telling him I’m in love with him when he was just
drunk and horny… this could blow up our whole friend group — we still have to live
together, right?”

“You’re being dramatic,” Sasha groans. “But, fine, ok. What’s the play then?”

“I don’t know,” you say unhelpfully and Sasha groans again. “Maybe I’ll try to talk to him —
sober — to try to get a read on how he feels.”

“You need to use this time at Trost to say something to him,” Sasha urges. “Say: Hey, Jean. I
like you. What do you think about me? Just get it all out in the open. Maybe don’t run out the
gate with a big I love you declaration, but an I like you, could work. Once things have been
all cleared up, I’m sure everything will go back to normal — or better.”

You blush just at the thought of confessing to Jean like that, but you know Sasha’s right. So
you groan in frustration, covering your face with your hand. “Yeah, yeah, you’re right. I have
to say something.”

“You have to,” Sasha urges.

“It’ll be hard finding a chance to talk to him alone since I’m rooming with Pieck.”

“Ugh, right, Pieck Finger.”

“We hate her.”

“We hate her,” Sasha emphasizes with a groan. “Is Jean rooming with Eren?”

You laugh, “God, no. That would be a disaster. He’s with Reiner.”

“I’m sure you could ask Reiner to leave for a bit so you could talk to Jean alone. Or the two
of you could go for a walk or something.” You can hear Sasha fidgeting with something on
the other end of the line.

“I don’t want it to feel super serious. I don’t wanna freak Jean out,” you say, heart racing. “I
want it to just be like a natural progression of the conversation. Like: Hey, Jean. How’s it
going? Oh, cool. By the way, I like you.”

“That sounds very natural,” Sasha says, deadpan. “That’ll work, for sure.”
“Or something like that,” you say, waving your hand in dismissal. “I don’t know, I’ll figure
something out. I’m just a little nervous after what Eren said the other day.”

“Eren?” Sasha screeches and you have to pull the phone away from your ear a little from the
noise. “You’re still seeing Eren? After you and Jean kissed?”

“Well, yeah, of course,” you say, brows furrowing. “The plan is working, why would I stop
now?”

Sasha stumbles over her words and you can picture her so clearly in your head, mouth gaping
open like a fish as she tries to articulate all the thoughts in her head. “Does Jean know?” she
asks finally after frantic sputtering.

“Yeah, I think so,” you admit, suddenly embarrassed. “Eren’s been leaving nasty hickeys on
me recently, so I’m sure Jean has noticed.”

“Oh my God, are you dumb?”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re totally crushing on Eren!”

“I’m not!” you protest, but your face burns hotter. “I like Jean.”

“But you also like Eren,” Sasha says, pointedly. “Why else would you keep seeing him after
all this progress with Jean? Oh my God, I can’t believe you’re falling for Eren Jaeger: the
King of Broken Hearts.”

“It’s part of the plan,” you remind her. “The only reason I’ve gotten this far in the first place
is because I’ve been hooking up with Eren. I’m not going to stop now.”

“Right,” Sasha says in disbelief.

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it,” you assure, shaking your head. “We’re just fucking.”

“Ew.”

“Once I talk with Jean and get everything out in the open, things will be fine and I can end
things with Eren,” you say with a heavy sigh. “I promise. I’m sure we’ll have some time at
some point this week to talk.”

Sasha huffs, “I mean this in the most respectful way possible… you’re one of the smartest
girls that I know, but sometimes, the things that you do are just sooo stupid.”

“It’s under control, Sash,” you snap, brows furrowing.

“Whatever you say,” she taunts.

 Fieldwork (e)
Chapter Notes

If anyone is interested, you can connect with me on Twitter (@spiteless_xo) or Tumblr

(spiteless-xo)!
I usually just reblog/retweet fanart or writing tips, but recently I've been getting asks on
Tumblr and it makes me really happy to have the opportunity to gush about something I
love, so if anyone else wants to ask questions or get excited with me -- feel free!!

I also wanted to say another big huge thank you for commenting, kudos-ing,

idea how happy it makes me to see people enjoy my story 🥺

subscribing, and bookmarking!! Big thank you to all the silent readers too!! You have no

Extra big thank you to all of the people who have been following along and commenting
on every chapter! I get so excited to see familiar names in my inbox every week and I'm
so glad that you all are still sticking around week after week!
Honestly, I cannot express my gratitude enough to every single reader 💕 I never really

🥰
expect to get more than like 2 views on any of my fics, so the fact that we've surpassed
10k now is insane to me!! I love you all from the bottom of my heart

cw: Explicit language, explicit sexual content (fingering, oral, multiple orgasms,
masturbation)

Monday

The client lets you set up your computers in one of the boardrooms. It’s a little bit smaller
than what would’ve been comfortable, so each of you is trying your best to be mindful of
space. You, Jean, Reiner, and Petra sit at one end of the table while the consultants sit at the
other end, keeping your work somewhat separate.

You and Reiner are tasked with sample selection and testing, so you spend a lot of the first
day looking through invoices in bankers boxes and documenting your findings in
spreadsheets.

Petra has Jean tasked with helping her document client processes and controls, so they spend
a lot of time in and out of the boardroom and in meetings with various members of the
client’s financial team. It’s annoying because Petra isn’t reliably around to ask for help when
you need it, so you try to make a list of all of the questions you have for her each time she
gets back.

When they return to the boardroom, Jean spends his time documenting relevant details from
the interviews he did with Petra into the file, while she glances over your and Reiner’s work
to make sure everything is correct, before leaving with Jean for more interviews.
The consultants at the other end of the room talk quietly amongst themselves when they
work. Although everyone but Oluo is a junior, each person is given the opportunity to chime
in with their thoughts about each situation when Oluo questions them. You get distracted a
couple of times from your work by some idea or solution that the consulting team comes up
with and it sounds kind of interesting on their end of the table, but you try to keep your head
down as much as possible so you can focus on work.

“Petra has been gone a while,” Reiner whispers to you as he fiddles with some papers in his
hands. “I’ve been wanting to ask her about something… I don’t know how to move forward.”

“Maybe I can help?” you offer, turning in your seat to face him. “It might be the blind leading
the blind, but it’s better than you just sitting there and waiting, right?”

He nods with a tight-lipped smile and hands you over the papers in his hands. “I pulled a
sample from the client’s financial system and traced it back to this invoice… but the amount
on the invoice doesn’t match the amount in the system.”

You look between the paper and Reiner’s computer screen and confirm that he’s correct. It’s
out by several thousand dollars. “Are you sure you pulled the information from the client
system correctly? You might have mistyped it.”

“Huh, that’s a good idea,” Reiner says, leaning forward and fiddling with his computer.
“Better check that first before I start screaming fraud.”

The two of you laugh together and you hand the papers back to Reiner. “How are things
going so far?” you ask, tone hushed.

He shrugs, scratching the back of his neck. “I’m still slow.”

“I’m still stupid,” you offer with a shrug, and he laughs. You lean in closer to him, shooting a
tentative glance at the consultants to make sure they’re not listening, before saying, “I’m a
little nervous about this job.”

“Why?” he whispers back, face stern as he looks at you.

“I think if we fuck it up, they’re going to fire us,” you say. “Trial by fire, right? It’s an
important client, our first time doing fieldwork, and we still have to keep up with all of our
other work… I think this is our last chance to prove to Erwin that we’re competent.”

“Huh,” Reiner considers your words for a moment, fingers scratching at the stubble on his
jaw. “That’s a good point… but don’t you think it’s weird that they’d put both of us on here if
it’s such an important client?”

You hadn’t considered that.

“If we bomb this, we might lose the client. I don’t think they would put themselves at risk of
failure just to test us,” Reiner offers with a shrug. “So, they must have faith in us.”

“Maybe,” you say with a shrug, but you’re not convinced.

“Ah!” Reiner says suddenly, smiling. “You were right.” He points a large, fat finger at his
computer screen, “I pulled the wrong invoice total for the sample I picked. No fraud.”

“Thank God,” you say with a laugh. You pat Reiner’s shoulder and roll back over to your
computer and stack of invoices. You feel someone’s gaze on you and look up to lock eyes
with Eren, he’s looking at you with a tight jaw, lips pursed.

You jerk an eyebrow up, questioning, but he shakes his head and looks away, re-joining the
hushed conversation with the others.

***

Petra and Oluo don’t let you guys pack up until just after 8 pm. Oluo made sure to order
some basic soups and sandwiches from the downstairs cafe for lunch and dinner, so you guys
aren’t starving, but you are exhausted.

“I think today was pretty good for us,” Oluo says, zipping his laptop bag shut as he grins over
at Petra. “How about you guys?”

“It’s tough to say,” Petra says with a shrug and a heavy sigh. “I’m going to do some review
tonight and then I’ll get a better picture of where we’re at in the morning.”

She looks up at Jean, “Kirstein, can you do a preliminary review of their work tonight?” she
gestures at you and Reiner, “It would be a big help for me.”

“Y-Yeah, totally,” Jean stutters, flustered. “I was actually going to ask if you guys wanted to
put in some extra work on the file tonight,” he says, looking over at you. “We could bring
home some documents and try to finish a few more working papers… help get us over the
finish line a little quicker.”

“That’s a really good idea,” Petra says with a satisfied hum before you or Reiner can respond.
“I really like the initiative, Kirstein.”

“That’s a really good idea, Kirstein,” you hear Eren mumble under his breath in a mocking
tone. You glance, wide-eyed between Petra and Eren, and luckily it seems like she didn’t
hear. Jean scowls as Eren and Floch quietly giggle together.

You and Reiner grab some boxes of samples to go through back at the hotel, but the box you
picked up is heavy and causes you to fall behind everyone else as you walk down the hall to
the elevator.

You watch as Pieck falls in step with Jean, grinning up at him and saying something that
makes his shoulders shake with laughter. You wish you had the strength to chuck this box
right at her head when you see the way she rests her hand on his bicep.

“Let me help,” Eren offers, standing in front of you, blocking your view of Pieck and Jean,
and replacing your hands on the box, pulling it away from you with ease.

“Thanks,” you huff. You pretend to be annoyed but it’s obvious you’re grateful.
Despite Eren’s strength and ease when carrying the box, the two of you still linger a few feet
behind the others as you follow them through the office. “So, how long do you guys think
you’ll be working for?” Eren asks.

You shrug, “I don’t know. Hopefully, not too late, I’m already tired from looking at invoices
all day.”

“Why don’t you come over after?” Eren asks, and your heart races in your chest when you
look up at him. “Things are awkward with Pieck, right? You can stay with me instead.”

“Eren,” you whine, eyes flicking to the back of Petra’s head, nervous that she can hear.
“You’re rooming with Floch, we can’t.”

“We don’t have to…” his voice drops to a hush, “Have sex … You can just stay the night.”

His offer is tempting and you purse your lips in thought. You’re hesitant to leave Pieck
because she might try to get Jean alone, and your priority is to stop those two from rekindling
their past relationship while all of you are stuck in Trost for this job.

Pieck definitely overheard that you’re going over to Jean and Reiner’s room tonight to work,
but she doesn’t know how long you’re staying there. You could easily sneak over to Eren’s
after you finish with the boys, and she would never know.

If she thinks you’re still with Jean, Pieck won’t try to go see him.

You nod up at Eren, quick, sharp movements.

“Yeah?” he asks, eyes lighting up.

“Yeah, let’s do it.”

***

When you get to Jean and Reiner’s room, you’re surprised to find the counter of their little
kitchenette covered in various snacks. You didn’t even know they had gone to the store last
night.

“Is this stuff really necessary?” you laugh, poking through the various crackers, chips, and
candy they have laid out across the counter. “Do you guys really snack this much?”

“Brain fuel,” Jean says, reaching past you to grab a bag of gummy candies. You notice that
he’s a little stiff and awkward as he stretches past you, careful not to touch you at all.

Before coming over, you went to your hotel room so you could change into your pyjamas and
discreetly grab your toiletries for later when you went to Eren’s. You’re now wearing a light,
short pyjama set, and thigh-high socks to keep your toes warm. You’re not wearing a bra, but
it’s warm enough in Jean and Reiner’s room that you don’t need to worry about poking
through your top.
Reiner and Jean have changed out of their suits, too. Jean is wearing his usual casual attire
while Reiner is wearing a big hoodie and some comfy-looking shorts. It’s weird for you to
see Reiner dressed casually. You just know him through work, so you’ve only ever seen him
wearing dress clothes. He almost looks like a completely different person in casual clothing.

Jean lays sideways on his bed, head propped up with his hand as he clicks through things
using the trackpad of his laptop. Reiner is sitting on a pillow on the ground, pulling stacks of
paper out from the bankers box and checking them against the spreadsheet on his computer.
You settle on the floor next to Reiner so you can easily access the box, too.

“Can you believe Jean is marking our work,” Reiner teases, elbowing you. “Mr. Senior-
Accountant-in-Training, over there.”

Jean scoffs and rolls his eyes, but you can tell he likes it. “I’m sure Petra’s going to look over
it again too, I’m just checking to make sure there’s nothing obviously wrong.”

You flush in embarrassment from his words — obviously wrong. Even though Jean is your
friend and he knows how much you’re struggling at work, it’s embarrassing for you that he’s
the one reviewing it. Now he can see first-hand how much of an idiot you are.

“Who’s stuff are you looking at first?” you ask, flipping through papers.

“Yours,” Jean says around a mouthful of candy. “Is that ok?”

“Yeah, totally,” you say quickly, but keep your eyes low. “Let me know if you see me making
any super obvious mistakes or like… you know, just whatever.”

“So far, it looks good,” he says. When you glance up at him, he’s giving you a soft look, and
it only embarrasses you more. “I dunno what your work was like before, but I think this is
really good,” he continues. “Better than mine, for sure.”

Reiner laughs from next to you, nudging you again. “See? I told you. You’re doing good.”

“Thanks,” you say quietly, scrunching your nose and trying to keep your eyes focused on the
work in front of you. “How was working with Petra today, Jean?”

“Petra did most of the work,” Jean says. “I basically just sat there and took notes while she
asked a bunch of questions.”

“Did you learn lots?” you ask.

“Eh, kind of,” Jean shrugs. “I learned more about the business and their processes, but I
dunno if that’ll help me with being an accountant overall.”

“Are you still thinking about switching?” you ask as you look up at him. “You’ve talked
about it a few times.”

“I don’t know,” Jean says with another shrug. “It’s still on my mind, for sure. I might talk
with Hange about it down the line, since they made the switch, too.”
“You want to do consulting?” you ask, sitting up a little taller. “I thought you were still
undecided?”

“Tax just sounds like a more boring version of accounting and law involves going back to
school, so I think my only real option if I want an easy switch is consulting.”

“Right,” you say quietly, trying not to let your disappointment show on your face. “I guess
accounting is pretty dull,” you say, just something to fill the dead air as you simmer in anger.

Consulting is where Pieck works. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t bother you to know that
he wants to switch to her division. It’s becoming more and more obvious to you that Jean is
interested in being with Pieck again.

"I don't know," Jean says with a heavy sigh. "I think I'm good at accounting, though, so I
might just be shooting myself in the foot if I switch. I've been working on so many projects
with Erwin and the other managers... I could see myself maybe being Partner one day."

"That would be cool," you say quickly, perking up. "I think you'd make a really good Partner,
or Manager, even."

Jean grins over at you, eyes glinting. "Yeah, you think? Would you want to work under me?"

"Would you be hard on me?" you challenge, letting the words spill from your mouth before
you even have time to think about it. Your heart thunders in your chest as you wait for Jean's
response — you're impressed with yourself for openly flirting with Jean like this and you
credit it to sleep deprivation and stress lowering your inhibitions.

"If that's what you want," he counters, rubbing his palm across his mouth to hide his smile as
his face starts to turn pink.

You press your lips together into a tight line to hide your grin and just look over at Jean in
response, eyebrows jerking up in amusement. He chuckles at your reaction, rolling his tongue
against his cheek and suddenly it feels like it's a million degrees in this room.

“I’ve been talking with Bertl a lot recently,” Reiner says quietly, and you and Jean both turn
to look at him with wide eyes. You had forgotten that Reiner was in the room, too. “Asking
how his job is going… and it sounds like he really enjoys it. Maybe it’s just Titan that’s bad.”

“Titan is one of the most well-respected firms in the World,” you say with a frown. “I don’t
think Titan is bad, it’s just hard.”

“Titan is really intense though,” Reiner adds. “Erwin is crazy. I’ve heard stories about how
high his expectations are with his employees, he works them half to death.”

You remember your conversation with Erwin from the Icebreaker Event and how ominous it
was, but before you can say anything, Reiner continues.

“Turnover here is really high,” Reiner says. “I mean, just a few months ago they fired a
bunch of people. I think Titan’s requirements for their staff are unreasonable.”
You lean back onto your hands as you look between Reiner and Jean. “I think it’s just tough
to work at a real adult job for the first time. You learn a lot at school, but it’ll never really
prepare you for the real world. People that can’t adapt quickly enough will struggle.”

“You’re making it sound like it’s the people’s fault, but maybe you should be blaming the
system,” Reiner challenges. “If so many people are struggling and failing, maybe the training
process should be more robust. Or the workload on each staff member should be lessened.”

“But working at a big firm like this should be challenging. That’s why it’s so prestigious. If
everyone excelled then it wouldn’t be such a badge of honor to work at a firm like Titan.”

“Are you happy?” Reiner asks, brow raised. “Do you like working here?”

“Yeah, of course,” you say, but it feels like you’re lying. If you were better at your job you’d
like it a lot more, and you know you just need to get to that point.

“I’m not happy. This job is making me sacrifice my mental and physical health for less
money than I made working labour in Marley,” Reiner shugs. “I dunno. Is it worth it?”

“Why don’t you just quit, then?” Jean asks. “If you’re so miserable, just quit. Nobody’s
making you stay and work here.”

Reiner scratches his beard, frowning. “I know that’s the right answer, but it feels shitty. I
went to school for what, six years? Just to fail at my first job out of university? It’s shitty.” He
shrugs, “I feel like I need to just… work harder.”

Jean nods in understanding, lowering the screen of his laptop to look over at you both better
on the floor. “Levi used to work for Titan, but he quit.”

“That’s right,” Reiner says, nodding. “I wonder why. Maybe he was unhappy, too.”

“What does he do now?” you ask. “I know he teaches at the university and coaches the
Scouts, but is that it?”

“I think he owns a tea shop or something in the city,” Reiner says with a shrug. “He doesn’t
talk about his personal life much.”

“Does he talk about Titan?” you ask.

“Never,” Jean says. “Not once in the three years I was on the hockey team with him. The
only reason I even know he worked at Titan in the first place is through my dad.”

The three of you quietly go back to work as the conversation fizzles out, but you can’t stop
thinking about Professor Levi working at Titan. He was the best accounting professor you
had between your old school and Paradis University, and now he’s just running a tea shop? It
seems strange to you, but it seems even stranger that he would have left Titan on such bad
terms that he doesn’t even talk about it anymore.

***
It’s close to midnight by the time you guys decide to wrap things up and you’re both
physically and mentally exhausted. Eren texted you over an hour ago to let you know that the
consultants had wrapped up for the night — sounds like they decided to try to do some extra
work tonight, too — and he told you his room number so you could just head straight there
when you finished up.

Jean didn’t find many mistakes in your and Reiner’s work, much to your shared relief. After
knowing that the two of you were on the right track, you were able to work through most of
the samples in a similar fashion more quickly.

“I think we’re doing good,” Jean says with a heavy sigh, slapping his laptop shut and laying
back on his mattress. “We’ll just do it all again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next
day…”

“Hell,” Reiner says, stretching and yawning from his place on the floor. “Kirstein, that
sounds like absolute Hell.”

You laugh, gathering your things up and getting off the floor. You help Reiner clean up the
mess of papers strewn across the room and tidy up the empty food wrappers from all of your
snacking.

“What floor are you on?” Jean asks, sitting up on his elbows as he watches you clean up. “Do
you need me to walk you to your room?”

You smile in gratitude but shake your head. “I’m on the same floor, just a few doors down
from here, so you don’t need to worry.” Not that it matters, you’re heading over to Eren’s
room on the opposite end of the hall as soon as you leave here.

Jean frowns, eyebrows scrunching as he regards you carefully. His eyes dart to Reiner,
watching him pack up his things and head to the bathroom before snapping back to you as
soon as the door closes.

“Come ‘ere,” Jean says, sliding forward on the bed until his legs are hanging off the edge,
beckoning you toward him with two fingers.

You gravitate toward Jean instantly, feet moving before you even have a chance to think —
finding yourself standing between Jean’s legs and looking down at him with your lip between
your teeth. You squeeze the strap of your laptop bag tightly in your hands as you look down
at his bright eyes.

“What?” you ask.

His face softens as he sighs, hands reaching up and hovering over your hips like he’s about to
rest them on you. Jean’s hands flex and then tighten into fists, but before he pulls them back
to his lap, you say, “It’s ok. You can touch me.”

He sucks in a sharp breath through his teeth, looking up at you almost pained. “Yeah? It’s
ok?”
You just nod in response, biting harder on your lip.

Jean swallows loudly, opening his hands again and gently resting them on your hips. His
hands are huge and hot, even through the fabric of your clothes, and your heart immediately
starts racing in your chest.

“Are you doing ok?” he asks, brows knitted in concern. “With work and everything?”

“It’s only been a day,” you say, trying to be dismissive but Jean’s hands squeeze against you a
little tighter. “Yes, Jean, I’m ok.”

“I want to be better about checking in with you,” he explains as the corner of his mouth
twitches up into a smile. “I’m worried about you.”

You laugh, bringing a hand up to your face to try to mask your blush as you feel heat
creeping up your neck. “You don’t have to worry about me.”

“I know,” he says, sucking his cheek into his mouth as his gaze travels down your body. His
thumbs rub gentle circles against your hipbones and the heat crawling up through your body
starts to burn hotter between your thighs.

“I know you’re under a lot of pressure right now, so I just wanted to let you know that if you
need anything… I’m here for you, ok?” he says, eyes darting back up to your face. “Like, if
you need help with queries or something at work or whatever, you can ask me. I’ll help.”

“Thanks,” you say with a soft smile, lowering your hand from the strap of your laptop bag to
rest on Jean’s wrist. You gently wrap your fingers around him as you rub the pad of your
thumb back and forth across his pulse point.

“I know you don’t like to tell me things,” he says, a hint of bitterness lacing his tone, “But,
I’m going to make you while we’re out here.”

You snort, squeezing his wrist a little tighter. “You’re going to make me?” you laugh.

“Yeah,” he says, looking up at you with a pretend-serious face as he gently rocks your hips
from side to side.

“How, exactly, are you going to make me, Jean?”

“Well…” he tsks, pursing his lips together in thought. “We’ll probably be working late most
nights here in the room, so I’ll just hold you hostage every night until you tell me how you’re
doing.”

You laugh, “Oh yeah? What if I put up a fight?”

“I’m bigger than you,” he says, smug. “And stronger. You don’t stand a chance.”

“I could take you,” you challenge, crossing your arms over your chest.
He laughs, rocking your hips a little bit more until you stumble forward. You’re standing now
at the edge of the bed, your shins resting against the mattress between Jean’s thighs. You’re
so close that he has to crane his head completely upwards to look at your face, to the point
where his chin is almost touching you.

When he looks up at you, his eyes widen a little in shock before he leans back. You watch his
eyes trail down from your face to your chest to even lower and you see his shoulders shudder
when he takes a shaky breath.

One of his hands trails down your hip, past the bottom hem of your shorts, until his palm
rests on the top of your thigh-high sock. “These are,” he sucks in a sharp breath, “Really
nice.”

“Thanks,” you whisper and chills shoot down your spine when he dips his fingers underneath
the fabric.

When his gaze swings back up to meet yours, your breath catches in your throat. His mouth
parts gently, like he’s about to say something, before snapping shut again and averting his
gaze. He removes his hands from your body and rests them behind him as he leans back on
the bed.

It would be so easy to cup his face in your hands, to lean down and meet his lips with yours,
to climb into his lap and pull him into you. You miss the feeling of his hands on your body
already, even when your skin still tingles from where he touched you. You rest your knee on
the bed between his legs and lean forward after him, resting your hand on his shoulder. You
can feel his muscles tense under your touch and his hands ball into fists against the mattress
behind him.

He looks up at you again, pained, before his lips part again. “Listen, I —”

Before he can finish, you hear the door to the bathroom rattling. Jean shuffles on the bed
awkwardly and you take a few steps back away from him, just in time for Reiner to return to
the main area.

“Heading out?” Reiner asks and you nod, glancing awkwardly between Reiner and Jean.

“Yeah, I’ll see you guys,” you say quickly, padding toward the door on shaky legs.

“Ok,” Jean says, clearing his throat. “We’ll see you tomorrow. Bright and early.”

“Bright and early,” you sigh, pulling your laptop bag onto your shoulder and heading to the
door. “Goodnight, guys!”

After the door closes behind you, you look down at your text messages with Eren to confirm
his room number before heading off. His room is near the end of the hallway, far away from
Jean and Reiner’s room. When you find yourself standing in front of his hotel room, you
gently knock and hope that he hasn’t already fallen asleep.
You feel a little weird after your conversation with Reiner from earlier in the night. He is so
pessimistic about working at Titan and how not even changing departments would be better
— and is he right?

Reiner has the same anxieties as you do about your employment at Titan. You’re both on the
PIP and you’re both afraid of failing at your first job out of university. It’s comforting in a
way to know that you’re going through this together, but you’re nervous about how things
might end. Will Reiner quit to preserve his dignity? Will you quit? Or maybe one of you will
get fired, instead.

And what was that with Jean? What did he want to tell you that he couldn’t say in front of
Reiner? Why did he touch you like that? It was so intimate and sexual, the way he slipped his
fingers into your socks and against your thighs. God, this man is going to be the death of you.
You're proud of yourself for being a little bolder with him — after your kiss the other night,
you feel more confident pushing against the boundaries of your friendship.

It's too bad Reiner interrupted when he did. You might've gathered the courage to kiss Jean
again if you just had a few more minutes alone with him.

You hear the deadbolt clicking on the other side of the door before it slowly opens inward,
revealing Eren with his loose, disheveled hair, bare chest, and low-hanging plaid pyjama
pants.

“Hey,” he whispers, smiling as he opens the door wider for you to come inside. “Floch is
already asleep.”

You nod, quietly walking past him and into the bathroom. You’re still a little shaken up from
your thoughts as Eren closes the room’s door behind you, locks the deadbolt, and then
follows you into the bathroom.

“Eren,” you scold, looking over at him with a frown when he shuts the door behind himself.

“What?” he asks innocently, walking up to you and running his hands up and down your
waist. He leans down and peppers soft, sleepy kisses along your jawline and neck, and you
squirm from his touch.

“Floch is outside,” you whisper, tone sharp.

“He’s sleeping,” Eren mumbles into your neck, hands running up underneath your shirt to
roam your bare torso. “He’s got fuckin’ earplugs and an eyemask on and everything. We’ll be
fine.”

“It’s like midnight,” you say, continuing to protest despite allowing his hands to grab at your
body. Your knees feel weak and you wrap your arms around his shoulders to steady yourself
from falling into him. “Aren’t you sleepy?”

“Sure,” he hums, hands gripping around your waist tighter before lifting you up off the
ground and onto the cool marble countertop. “But I can tell you’re stressed out.” You squeal
from the shock and then quickly clasp your hand over your mouth, embarrassed.
“He’s not going to hear anything,” Eren assures you, hands sliding down from your waist to
your thighs, fingers hooking into each of your socks and dragging them down your legs and
onto the floor. “I promise.”

“You said we weren’t going to have sex,” you say, continuing to find more and more reasons
to deny his advances despite your body’s obvious approval of his touch. You find your thighs
spreading wider for him as he stands between them, sliding his hands up the bottom hem of
your shorts.

“We don’t have to have sex,” he says, continuing to kiss along your jaw and neck. “But I can
offer you some relief.”

You find yourself with your hands bracing your weight behind you, lifting your hips up, and
allowing Eren to drag your shorts and underwear down off your legs until he’s settled on his
knees in front of you. He’s right, you are stressed out, and you’re already hot and needy from
your interaction with Jean earlier tonight — Eren’s wandering hands and soft kisses are only
adding to the slickness between your thighs.

He groans at the sight of you spread out for him and runs his thumbs along your folds to
spread your wetness, pulling you open to look inside of you and swirling his thumbs around
your clit. He loves the way your thick strings of arousal cling to his fingertips, making each
movement more slick and smooth. You gasp and writhe on the counter above him as he plays
with you.

“Fuck,” he growls, peppering your bare thighs with soft kisses and bites. Eren plans on
making good use of his time in Trost while he stays here at the hotel with you. He is going to
take you on every surface of this room. In the shower, on the couch, on the little kitchenette,
even in Floch’s bed, if you’re up for it.

His heart is beating fast in his chest and his cock is already rock hard against his thigh, just
from looking at the way your pussy glistens for him — just for him. He’s obsessed.

Eren had been having a hard time concentrating on whatever bullshit buzzword-of-the-day
Floch was trying to incorporate into every sentence when you were sitting across the room
from him with your hand on Reiner’s arm. He was going absolutely fucking feral at the sight
of you touching another man and it made him feel insane.

It’s bad enough that you won’t shut up about Jean. Is he going to have to keep you away
from Reiner, too?

Eren leans forward into your wet heat to run a long stripe up with a flat, soft tongue. You
gasp and squirm above him as he does it again and again. He sucks your folds into his mouth,
tonguing and teasing them as you tangle your fingers into his dark hair. You push his face
tighter against you and he moans into your skin.

“You always taste so sweet for me, baby,” he groans, gently making out with your cunt as
you whimper above him. “Been thinkin’ about doing this all fuckin’ day.”
He sucks your clit into his mouth and gently flicks his tongue back and forth over the swollen
nub as you moan from his touch. Eren can’t help but smirk against you as he lowers his face
back down to your dripping entrance, nudging your clit with his nose as he laps at the sticky
sweetness gathering at your folds.

“Prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen,” he mumbles, more to himself than to you as he lets his
tongue slip inside of you like the good little pussy-eater that he is. Your grip on his hair
tightens and you rock your hips forward against his face when he groans against your skin.

He pulls his tongue back to lick soft, fat stripes across your entrance before swirling around
your clit again. God, you’re so fucking wet and worked up for him, he can’t get enough.

“Poor pussy’s so needy, huh?” he asks, lifting his mouth away just so he can look up to see
how flushed and horny you are for him. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you — just like I
always do, right, baby?”

“Right,” you nod, tugging your lips between your teeth as you look down at Eren on his
knees between your thighs. His lips and chin are already glistening and you haven’t even cum
yet. “You’re so good to me.”

“So good,” he agrees, bringing up a hand between your thighs so he can swirl his finger up
and down your folds. The sound of his finger moving between the lips of your wet pussy is
like music to his ears, combined with the thick taste of your arousal on his tongue, and the
sweet smell of your dripping cunt — fuck, he can feel his cock straining against his pants in
arousal.

He shifts his hand to your thigh, holding you spread open as he dives back forward, trying to
fill as much of his mouth as he can with you you you. Whimpering from pleasure, you tug
him tighter against you with no regard for his need for air as you feel the burning heat
building in your gut.

Satisfied with how wet and eager you are for him, he brings his hand back between your
thighs, licking up to your clit and sucking it into his mouth as he plunges two fingers deep
inside of you. He looks up to see you clamp a hand over your mouth to muffle your moans as
the combination of his fingers curling inside of you and his frantic tongue pushes you over
the edge and your pussy pulses around his fingers rhythmically.

He wants to tell you all the dirty things he’s going to do to you while the two of you are here
together, but he can’t tear his face away from you, not when you’re making all these cute
little sounds above him and you’re cumming on his face like such a good girl.

“Eren!” you whimper, letting your hand fall from your mouth as you buck against his face.

Eren knows exactly how to make you cum. He knows where to suck and how to lick to make
you shudder and scream his name, so he does just that, not bothering with teasing and edging
you anymore. Again and again and again until you’re just a whimpering, babbling mess on
the counter above him.
Eren’s face is covered in your juices and your slick is sliding down his palm as your hands
tug at his hair, trying to pull him up to your face and away from your overstimulated pussy
but Eren doesn’t stop. These next few weeks in Trost are his chance to fuck the Jean out of
you, and he’s going to start by making you forget your own name with his tongue.

He’s lapping at you like a man starved, face buried against your pelvis as his tongue attacks
your clit. Your hips are bucking into his face to chase each orgasm as you gush and clench
against his chin and around his fingers. You’re in complete and total ecstasy from his mouth
on you, to the point where you can’t even form words — just breathless whimpers and
whines and gasps as he tongues you through another set of convulsions.

Eren pulls his fingers from inside of you, groaning from the way you squeeze around him. He
considers pushing his digits back into you but opts instead to slide his slick hand under the
waistband of his pants as he spreads you open with his other, nuzzling his face deeper against
you. You’re worked up enough that he knows he can just bully your clit into orgasming again
and again for him.

He wants to fuck you — he always wants to fuck you — but he wants to make tonight all
about you, so he’ll settle for jerking himself off to the sounds of you gasping above him.

You’re making his mouth so wet that it’s dripping down his chin, thighs clenching around his
head, and hand pulling and tugging at his hair so much it hurts — but he loves it.

His cock is already wet from the precum that has been steadily dripping from his head, and
he gathers it against his palm along with the built-up slick coating his hand from your pussy
before grabbing his length tightly. Eren strokes himself to the feeling of you clenching
against his tongue, your thighs trembling on either side of his head, and your breathless
moaning above him.

Jerking himself off with your silky wetness sends him into a fucking frenzy. If he squeezes
around his length hard enough, he can imagine it’s your pussy clenching around his cock.
He’s not going to be able to touch himself with just lube or spit anymore, he’s going to need
this on his cock at all times.

It’s so hot, the way you let yourself go. Even knowing that Floch is just in the other room,
sleeping peacefully, you’re here grinding against Eren’s face and chasing your fourth? fifth?
orgasm of the night. You’re really close to your next one — he can tell.

“Eren,” you gasp, squirming as he assaults your sensitive clit, the sounds of his mouth against
your wet pussy are lewd and bounce off the tiled walls of the bathroom, amplifying the
sound. “I can’t — it’s too much.”

He takes that as a challenge, hand gripping around himself harder and grunting into you as he
sucks your clit against his tongue. One more, just one more — he knows you can do it for
him.

Eren looks up at you from between your legs to see you with your head thrown back, chest
heaving as the coil in your stomach tightens and tightens. The collar of your t-shirt is soaked
in sweat and it makes Eren’s cock throb in his hand. He wishes he had thought to take your
shirt off before he got down on his knees for you. He would have loved to see you palming
your breasts and pulling at your nipples while he licks your pussy.

The thought has him reeling in pleasure, moaning around your clit and the vibrations send
you completely over the edge as you spasm against him. It only takes a few more frantic
thrusts into his fist until he’s spilling over his own hand, hot ropes of cum hitting up onto his
stomach, each pulse of his cock seemingly in time with the clenching of your pussy against
his face.

He wants to watch you through this one — he can tell it’s a good one for you, from how your
back arches and your nails dig into his head — but the pleasure of his own orgasm overtakes
him, and he finds himself clenching his eyes shut as waves of ecstasy thrum through his
body.

Fuck. He could spend the rest of his life here between your legs, tongue buried in your pussy
while your thighs threaten to crush his skull — what a beautiful way to go. He’s obsessed
with you, so fucking obsessed.

When your thighs relax around his face, he finally moves away, breathing heavily — just
from eating you out.

He pulls himself up onto his feet, standing between your shaking, open thighs as you look up
at him with bleary eyes. His mouth gleams with your juices, all the way down to his chin, and
you’re so embarrassed but he makes it look so sexy.

“Sorry,” he says with a lazy smile, “I didn’t even kiss you yet.” He leans forward and presses
his lips against yours. You can taste yourself on his tongue but you pull him closer to you all
the same, feeling the cum on Eren’s stomach press into your shirt.

When he pulls away, you’re both breathless and flushed and even more exhausted than you
thought possible.

“Can we go to sleep now?” you ask, voice quiet and weak. You’re suddenly having a hard
time keeping your eyes open.

He laughs, kissing you again before taking a step back, and reaching down onto the ground to
grab your discarded clothes. “Yeah, let’s go to sleep.”

Eren stays with you in the bathroom as you quickly do your evening routine, Eren washes his
face and chest, and the two of you brush your teeth together. You kick him out so you can pee
by yourself, but when you open the bedroom door, he’s waiting for you outside.

“I got you a shirt,” he says, looking down at the mess of cum and sweat on your pyjama shirt.

“Thanks,” you whisper, not bothering to turn away before you pull your shirt up and over
your head, replacing it quickly with Eren’s as he appreciates the glimpse of your bare chest.
You grab at the fabric of the chest, bringing it up to your face and deeply inhaling — vanilla.
You realize what you've done immediately afterward and look up at Eren with wide,
embarrassed eyes. Shit.
“Creep,” he tsks, but he's smiling as he shuts off the light in the bathroom and guides you to
his bed.

The two of you climb under the blankets together and Eren immediately pulls you flush
against his chest, nestling his face into your hair and deeply inhaling.

“Creep,” you say, just a muffled mumble into his chest and he laughs in response.
 Sleepless
Chapter Notes

some art of Connie, Sasha, and Jean!!

love!
💕🥰
A lovely artist on Twitter named @Haru_Kichou was inspired by this story to draw
Please go check it out and send them some

cw: Explicit language, sexual content, angst

Tuesday

Due to not getting to sleep until well past midnight (no thanks to Eren), and the buzzing of
his watch at five in the morning (again, no thanks to Eren), you wake up feeling groggy and
poorly rested.

To his credit, he quickly reaches his arms around you to turn off the buzzing, but you’re
already awake so there’s no point in trying to fall back asleep. Instead, you tilt your head up
and kiss the bottom of his chin.

“Good morning,” you grumble, eyes still closed.

“Good morning,” he responds, voice deep and gravelly from lack of use. It sends shockwaves
straight down to your core and you find yourself throwing your leg over his hips and pulling
yourself even closer.

“Ooo, good morning,” he repeats, hooking one arm under your neck to tug to closer while the
other slides down the back of your shorts to grope your ass.

Eren rolls his hips against your crotch and you can feel he’s half-hard in his pants. He leans
his face down, pressing soft kisses against your cheek and jaw.

“Are you going to the gym this morning?” you ask, just a quiet hum against his cheek.

“Not if you stay here with me,” he says, kneading your ass and continuing to grind against
you.

“Floch’s right over there,” you warn, grabbing Eren’s waist to still him.

Eren glances over his shoulder at the other bed. Floch is sleeping on his back, arms folded
over his chest like a vampire, with earplugs and an eye mask on. Eren scoffs when he turns
back to look at you.

“He’s fast asleep, don’t worry.”

“It’s still rude,” you protest, still holding him firmly to prevent him from grinding on you
again.

“That’s not what you said last night,” Eren taunts, pulling the neckline of your shirt (his shirt)
lower so he can kiss your chest.

“That was different,” you scold, but you find yourself breathing a little heavier. “We were in
the bathroom.”

“We can go to the bathroom then,” he hums, lips latching on the top of your breast and
sucking gently. He pulls his lips off of you with a quiet pop! and adds, “We can take a shower
together.”

It’s very tempting, but you’re so exhausted you can hardly open your eyes. The idea of
jumping out of this warm, cozy bed into the cold bathroom sounds very unappealing.

“I’m enjoying just this,” you admit, and you can feel Eren grinning against your chest.

“Me too,” he says.

Eren trails his kisses back up from your chest, up your neck, and across your jaw until his lips
land against yours. You’re nervous at first — what if your breath smells? — but he keeps
biting and sucking on your lips until you finally part for him.

You hook your arm under his, looping it up to grab Eren’s shoulder to pull him tighter against
your chest while he returns his hand to your ass. Despite your earlier protests, when Eren
subtly grinds against you, you find yourself shifting your hips to meet his.

He groans into your mouth and then pulls you up and onto his chest as he rolls over on his
back. Your legs are straddled on either side of his hips and he moves both hands to your ass,
grinding your hips back and forth on his now-hard cock.

You open your eyes for the first time this morning, sending a sideways glance at Floch on the
bed next to you as Eren rocks you back and forth against him. Eren digs his heels into the
mattress, hips bucking up against you for more stimulation through the thick fabric of his
pyjamas.

“Eren,” you hiss, pressing your palms on his chest and pushing yourself up.

Eren’s too horny right now to care about Floch in the room — fuck it, he can watch.
Spending the night with you and then getting to wake up with you wrapped in his arms feels
incredible.

He enjoyed the first night you spent together, but this is even better. Before, you were still a
little stiff and awkward around him, but today you’re melting into his body completely. He
loves feeling you seated in his lap like this, every soft curve and slope of your ass and thighs
sinking into his hard muscles.

Even though his cock is heavy and leaking against his leg and he knows that you’re just as
needy as he is, he stops grinding you against him. He doesn’t want to push you too much
outside of your comfort zone, in risk of losing you completely. Eren shifts his grip from your
ass to your waist and pulls you back flush against his chest, despite your protests.

“Fine, ok,” he says, breathless. “I’ll kick him out tonight, and then I’ll fuck you.”

Eren swears he can feel you throb against him from his words, but your face reveals nothing
as you frown at him.

“Floch can probably hear you,” you say.

“He’s wearing earplugs.”

“They’re not that good. You’re practically yelling.”

“Am I?” Eren grins up at you, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “You’re so sensitive.”

You blush — hard. “No, I’m not,” you say, squirming on his lap.

His brows raise in interest. “Oh, that’s not what I meant, but good to know.”

He bucks his hips up against you and this time you audibly moan. You’ve been trying to hold
back all morning, but between your half-asleep haze and the pool of slick gathering in your
underwear, you can’t deny it anymore how turned on you are.

“Stop,” you scold, face burning as you glare at Eren. You send another look over at Floch —
still sleeping.

Eren kisses you in response, slow and languid movements that sate your hunger for him
without increasing your desire. Lazy, sleepy licks of his tongue against yours as his fingers
press softly into your lower back.

The two of you stay like that, just kissing and touching each other softly, backing off every
time the kiss gets too heated until Floch’s alarm goes off. You pull away from Eren and roll
off of him before Floch can take off his eye mask, and Floch sits up with a yawn as he shuts
his phone off.

“Oh, it’s… You,” Floch says, looking over.

You look over at him with a frown. “Floch, I have a name.”

“I couldn’t care less about the name of some little slut in accounting.”

Eren immediately tenses, moving to get up to snap at Floch, but your hand on his chest stops
him. He glances over to you and you just shake your head, so he relaxes back against the
pillows.

“I should go,” you say, leaning close to kiss Eren gently on the cheek before sliding out of
bed and pulling back on your socks.
“Don’t forget your shirt.” Eren gestures to your dirty, discarded shirt on the floor near the
bed, and you blush when picking it up. “You can just keep mine for now, I don’t need it.”

Besides, Eren likes seeing you in his clothes. His shirt is so baggy on you that it hangs lower
than the shorts on your hips. His only regret is that the white fabric is thin, so he can see the
faint nubs of your nipples poking through. He glances back to Floch to see if he’s ogling, but
he’s thankfully distracted by something on his phone.

“Ok, thanks,” you say sheepishly. “I’ll see you downstairs later.”

The hallway is a lot colder than Eren’s room, so you cross your arms over your chest for
warmth as you shuffle to your room, laptop bag on your shoulder. You hope you’ll get in
before Pieck wakes up so you can maintain some semblance of the illusion that you were out
with Jean last night. Anything to discourage her from talking to him.

Your whole body is hot from the embarrassment of your morning with Eren. It was so
pathetic, the way you threw yourself all over him — it was so relationship-y. You’re actually
surprised that Eren didn’t call you out on it.

God, it’s so cringy to think back on, now. Good morning, you said, kissing his chin — ahh!
And then you kissed his cheek before leaving! He’s definitely going to scold you for acting
too much like a girlfriend, but you couldn’t help it. Waking up with your arms and legs
tangled together was so nice, it was hard not to be affectionate.

Sasha's words from the other night have been weighing heavily on you, especially today after
your cute morning with Eren. You know you don't have feelings for Eren, you can't have
feelings for him.

Eren is just charming, you know that — it's his whole thing. He charms people into sleeping
with him and then dumps them when he gets bored, you know that. He doesn't date people or
fall in love, he just breaks hearts. He's only being nice to you because he's sleeping with you.
If the two of you weren't hooking up, you doubt he'd even give you the time of day.

If it wasn't for your little arrangement, you know Eren probably would've had someone else
over at his room last night. Someone from Tinder or Bumble or Grindr or whatever. Eren
doesn't care about you, you're just a placeholder.

You’re just falling victim to Eren’s charms from spending so much time with him. He’s
dangerous, everyone warned you about him — even Eren warned you about himself. All this
time spent with Eren is distracting you from your original goal, you know that. Eren is a
distraction.

I don’t have feelings for Eren Jaeger, you chant in your head, repeating it like a mantra as
you softly walk down the hall back to your room.

As you approach your room, one of the doors to another room in the hallway opens up. You
clutch your arms around yourself tighter, suddenly embarrassed that you’re dressed in your
pyjamas in the hallway when a familiar broad figure walks out into the hall.
“Oh, Reiner! … And Jean!”

At first, pleasantly surprised to see Reiner and then quickly even more embarrassed to see
Jean following after him. The two are dressed in gym attire, so you assume they’re going
downstairs to use the fitness center.

“What are you doing out in the hall?” Jean asks, eyebrow raised. His eyes scan up and down
your outfit, then to your laptop bag on your shoulder, before he visibly pieces it together.
“Did you stay at Eren’s last night?”

There’s no point in lying, but you do it anyway. “No, I was just going for a walk.”

“In your socks. With your laptop.” Jean points at each as he speaks, frowning.

“Yup,” you answer, unconvincingly.

Jean opens his mouth to speak, but then snaps it back shut, deciding against it. He just shakes
his head and walks past you down the hall with Reiner trailing after him. Reiner, at least,
offers you a polite smile and wave before walking past.

Full of shame and embarrassment, you scuttle the rest of the way to your room, unlocking it
quickly and running inside. Thankfully, Pieck is still asleep, so you don’t have to worry about
another awkward conversation before slinking into the bathroom for your morning shower.

***

You can’t stop yawning the entire car ride to the client’s; you’re exhausted and a little
grumpy from lack of sleep and hunger. You opted to skip the free hotel breakfast this
morning so you could get another hour of rest, but if anything, it only made you more tired.
You take another long sip of the coffee Jean got for you and hope that it kicks in soon.

“How did the review go last night, Kirstein?” Petra asks, glancing over at you in the
passenger seat before looking back at the boys with the rearview mirror.

“Pretty good, I think,” Jean says, running a hand through his hair. “We got a lot of work done,
so I think we’re in a good spot for the rest of the week.”

Petra hums in contentment, the corner of her mouth turning up slightly. “That’s good to hear.
I'm hoping we can get the bulk of the work done this week so you three only have to worry
about Manager review notes when Hange gets here. Erwin will have some high-level stuff
before wrap-up, but it should be easy for us to take care of it if we're thorough with our
documentation while we’re here.”

You nod in feigned understanding, half awake. You’re not sure how you’ll be able to make it
through another twelve-hour day at the client’s on such little sleep. Maybe tonight you won’t
let Eren eat you out for so long.

Although, it was nice. Thoughts of last night make you squirm in your seat and a dopey smile
grow across your face. After spending all day staring at spreadsheets and worrying about
work, it was definitely a nice distraction.
“Hey,” Petra snaps, head whipping toward you. “Look alive. We’ve got a big day today.”

“I’m awake, I’m awake,” you mumble unconvincingly. Jean scoffs from the back seat and
when you turn to look at him, you see him sitting back with his arms crossed, looking out the
window.

Petra pulls up to the client site moments after, parking next to Oluo’s car just as the
consultants are piling out.

“Looks like they went for coffee,” Reiner says, pointing at the cups in each of their hands.

You notice Eren is holding two cups, and when he catches your eye in the window, he toasts
one gently toward you.

When Petra parks the car, you climb out with your laptop bag and coffee to approach Eren.
His eyes dart immediately to the drink in your hand with a frown.

“Hey, I always get you coffee,” he says and he almost sounds hurt.

“Well, you haven’t been, recently,” you start and you watch as Eren’s brows scrunch in
confusion. “Jean got me this from the hotel this morning.”

Eren’s face twists into a scowl as he glances behind you, presumably over at Jean. “Oh, did
he?” He sucks his cheek into his mouth as his gaze hardens before slipping back down to
you. “And when, exactly, did Jean start getting you coffee in the morning?”

“Last week,” you offer with a shrug. “When you stopped.”

“When I stopped,” he laughs, sharp and cruel. “Right.”

Eren walks past you toward Jean, who’s helping remove the boxes from Petra’s trunk and you
watch as he shoves him in the shoulder with his own.

“What the fuck?” Jean snaps, struggling to keep hold of the box as he stumbles. “What’s your
problem?”

“Are you throwing out my shit?”

“What?”

“I said, are you throwing out my shit?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jean scoffs, rolling his eyes.

While watching their heated exchange, you catch eyes with Petra to see her slowly shaking
her head in disappointment. Great, now she thinks the boys are fighting because of you.

“Eren, stop it,” you scold, approaching the two and pulling Eren back by the crook of his
elbow.
“Who’s coffee do you like better, his or mine?” Eren snaps, looking down at you.

You shake your head at him in confusion. Why is he getting so mad?

“I like both? I don’t know. Why are you freaking out about this?”

He scoffs, tugging his elbow out of your grasp and holding both cups of coffee close to his
chest. “Fine, I’m drinking both of these then,” he says childishly before storming off into the
building.

“Fucking maniac,” Jean mumbles, shifting his grip on the box as you shut Petra’s trunk.
“What’s wrong with him?”

“I guess he’s mad about the coffee,” you offer with a shrug.

Jean laughs and rolls his eyes, walking slowly behind the rest of the group next to you. “I
really don’t know what you see in him,” he says quietly.

“Nothing,” you say quickly, face burning in embarrassment. “I told you, we’re just hooking
up, it’s not like a thing.”

“Seems like a thing,” Jean says. You look up at him to see he’s sucked his cheek into his
mouth and his brows are furrowed.

“Trust me, it’s not,” you emphasize and Jean turns to look down at you.

He opens his mouth like he’s about to speak but then snaps it shut again, exhaling heavily
through his nostrils before turning away.

“What?” you press, nudging him in the side with your elbow.

“It’s nothing.”

“Come on, you can tell me.”

He laughs again, scrunching his nose before looking back down at you. “I’m worried that
he’s distracting you.”

Your eyebrows raise in shock. “Oh?” you squeak, clutching your drink a little tighter in your
hand.

“You’re already in a really tough position with work right now,” he says, eyes softening in
concern. “This job is hard, even Petra’s stressed out, and you’re out fucking around with Eren
all night and then showing up to work half-asleep.”

You purse your lips together tightly from Jean’s words.

“We were up until midnight last night doing work and then you still went over to go see
him,” he says sternly. “I know it’s none of my business who you want to see or spend your
time with, but you’re already stressed out with work as is. I think you’re just making things
worse for yourself.”

You consider his words carefully but before you can respond he sighs heavily again and
shrugs his shoulders.

“I’m sorry I said anything. I don’t mean anything weird by it,” he says and you can see his
neck turning pink under the collar of his shirt. “Just like… y’know?”

“Right,” you say, swallowing thickly as you watch Jean visibly become awkward and weird.
“Thanks for looking out for me.”

***

Work today was hard. You struggled to stay awake as you flipped through invoices and
spreadsheets and more invoices and more spreadsheets. You refilled your coffee a few times
throughout the day, but it wasn’t enough to stop you from dozing off slightly during work and
slowing down your pace dramatically.

“We have some energy drinks if you want one,” Reiner offers with a sympathetic shrug,
noticing you yawning for probably the hundredth time tonight on the hotel room floor.

“No, I better not,” you say sleepily, gently hitting your cheeks with your palms to wake
yourself up. “We’re probably wrapping up soon, right? I don’t want to be too wired before
bed.”

You grab another stack of invoices from the bankers box at your side, setting it down on the
ground in front of you as you work through more late-night samples. Despite being hour
fifteen of work today, you feel like you’re still trying to catch up after having a less-than-
productive day.

“It’s probably because you were up late last night,” Jean grumbles from his spot on his bed.
“You should go straight to bed after this, otherwise you won’t get enough sleep.”

You give a non-committal hum in response. Jean’s right, but you really don’t want to go back
to your shared room with Pieck. Even if sleeping at Eren’s left you feeling exhausted, you’d
rather that than try to make peace with that fucking raging cunt.

You’ve been thinking about what Jean said to you earlier in the day and you know he’s right.
You’ve even been thinking something similar throughout the past few days. Even though you
enjoy spending time with Eren, he’s making things at work a lot harder for you between
keeping you up all night and then starting a fight with Jean in front of Petra.

And maybe Sasha was right — maybe you shouldn’t be seeing Eren anymore after kissing
Jean.

“I’m serious,” Jean stresses, narrowed eyes looking over at you from above the screen of his
laptop. “I’m seeing a lot more mistakes in your work than yesterday.”

“Oh, really?” you ask, eyes wide, heart falling into your gut. “Is it bad?”
Jean nods curtly, eyes darting back down to his screen as he types on the keyboard. “I’ll try to
fix what I can so you don’t have too much to deal with tomorrow,” he offers, still scowling.

“How long have you and Eren been dating?” Reiner asks.

“We’re not,” you respond quickly. A knee-jerk reaction drilled into you these past few
months from your arrangement with Eren. “It’s just a stress relief thing.”

Reiner chuckles, trying to hide his smile. “Does Eren know that?”

You burn hot from his words — what does Reiner mean by that? Your eyes dart between
Reiner and Jean, whose face is obscured by the screen of his laptop. “He’s the one that set
that boundary,” you say.

“Let’s stop for tonight,” Jean says abruptly, shutting his laptop. He rolls over onto his back
and rubs at his eyes with the heels of his hands with a groan. “I’m fucking wiped out.”

You and Reiner follow suit, shutting your laptops and putting papers away to clean up the
room. Your brain feels hazy and your limbs are heavy from lack of sleep, but you’re excited
to curl up in the warmth of Eren’s arms tonight.

“Let me walk you back,” Jean says, sitting up on his bed as you throw the strap of your bag
over your shoulder.

“I’m not going to Eren’s,” you lie and he frowns.

“Then what’s the problem?”

You make a show of being irritated, but inside your heart is beating frantically from Jean’s
protective attitude. You feel wide awake as Jean gets up off the bed and walks toward you at
the door.

He reaches past you, turning the knob and swinging the door inward for you to walk out. You
don’t leave right away, sleepily looking up at him as he stands with his chest against your
shoulder. He looks down at you with an arched brow and the corner of his mouth turns
upward.

“What?” he asks, amused.

You shake your head, looking down at the ground as you walk out of his hotel room. Jean
follows after you, the two of you walking in stride toward your room in the opposite direction
of Eren’s.

“You don’t have to babysit me,” you say, trying to sound angry but you can’t even convince
yourself.

“I’m just looking out for you,” he hums.

Your room isn’t far from Jean’s, so the walk is short, but the two of you stop in front of your
door and turn to face one another as you reach in your bag for your keycard.
“Things are still good with work?” he asks, brows furrowing in concern.

“Things are still good,” you assure him. “Less so today, obviously, but I think I can bounce
back.”

Jean hums in response and from the corner of your eye you can see him nervously rubbing
the back of his neck. “Look,” Jean starts, and you keep your eyes low as you dig through
your bag. “I really need to talk to you.”

“Talk about what?” you press, voice quiet over the sound of your heartbeat pounding in your
ears.

“I know it’s none of my business, but Eren’s not the right guy for you.”

You look up as Jean crosses his arms over his chest, shoulder leaning against the doorframe
as he looks down at you with furrowed brows and a deep frown. You’re afraid to remove
your hand from your bag to reveal how badly you’re shaking as you look at Jean with wide
eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“He’s an asshole, you know that, right?” Jean huffs, running a hand through his hair before he
returns it to his crossed arms. “He’s only fucking you to piss me off.”

“Why would that piss you off?”

“Eren’s always done shit like this to prove he’s better than everyone else. He’s manipulative
and he takes advantage of people just because he can.” Jean’s frown somehow deepens as he
looks down at you, before softening completely with a heavy sigh. “I don’t want you to get
hurt just because Eren’s trying to get back at me. You’re important to me.”

Oh.

You don’t say anything. You can’t say anything. You feel like you’re frozen in place as you
look up at Jean’s soft gaze, heart pounding so hard in your chest that you’re certain he can
hear it, too.

You can’t do anything but open and close your mouth like a fish, eyes widening as Jean’s
eyes flick down to your mouth.

“He’s not a good guy and it really hurts to see you still sneaking out to go see him after…” he
trails off, sighing heavily as he runs another hand through his hair. He looks away from you,
down at the ground, and you see a blush crawling up his chest from the collar of his shirt.

“After what?” you urge.

It feels like he’s been gradually leaning closer to you throughout the conversation, but you’re
certain of that fact now when you realize you can smell his soft citrus cologne. He never
wears very much, not like how Eren wears his cologne, so you can’t smell it unless you’re
just inches away from him.
You swallow loudly and Jean’s attention returns to you. His gaze is intense but you can still
see the small flecks of gold swimming in the brown of his eyes.

“Look, I’m thinking of going to visit my mom this weekend back home,” he says, still staring
at you. “Do you want to come with me? It’ll be a good chance to get away from everyone
else.”

His sudden shift in topic surprises you, but it gives you a chance to find your voice. “Yeah,
sure,” you say, breathlessly. “I’d like that.”

“Cool,” he smiles. “We can leave after work on Friday if Petra will let us.”

He leans a little bit closer toward you and you can feel your breath catching in your throat.

“It’ll be nice to have a chance to spend some time away from everyone else,” his eyes dart
down to your mouth, tongue running across his lower lip slowly. “What do you think?” You
can see the tendons in his forearms flexing as he tightens them against his chest while he
leans down to speak with you.

He uncrosses his arms, reaching them forward until they rest on your waist. You watch his
gaze soften as his eyes flick back up to meet yours and his fingers tap nervously against your
skin.

You raise your hands up to wrap around his shoulders and Jean pulls you a little closer. You
can feel your heart thundering in your chest and your knees shaking as you keep your gaze
fixed on his face. “Jean…”

He sighs and then leans forward, your eyes flutter shut and you let your mouth part gently in
anticipation, but then you feel him tug you tight against your chest as he presses his face into
the crook of your neck. Your body flashes with heat from a mixture of embarrassment and
disappointment as you rest your chin on Jean's shoulder. You really thought he was going to
kiss you just now.

“I miss you,” he says softly against your skin, wrapping his arms around your waist and
squeezing you.

“I haven’t gone anywhere,” you chuckle, but your voice is tight.

“Things are weird. I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok,” you assure and you hold him a little tighter.

Jean sighs against your skin and you feel the skin on your neck burning when he presses his
soft lips against you. He lifts his head, keeping his arms wrapped tight around you as he
looks down into your face, your lips only inches apart. You can feel Jean’s heart pounding in
his chest against yours as you look up at him with wide eyes and parted lips.

“I don’t want to do this anymore,” he says softly, brows furrowed.

“Do what?”
Jean’s lips part like he’s about to speak but then his gaze drops down to your mouth and you
watch as he runs his tongue across his lower lip.

Before anything more can happen, you hear the soft padding of feet on the floor through the
door of your hotel room and the click! of the deadbolt turning before the door swings open.
You and Jean jump away from each other comically as you turn to see Pieck standing in the
doorway wearing a silk, low-cut nightgown, looking between you and Jean with wide,
innocent eyes.

“I thought I heard someone outside,” she says, smiling softly. “I was worried you had
forgotten your key.”

You hold the keycard up with now-steady hands and a deep frown. “No, I’m good.”

“Hey, Pieck,” Jean says, smiling as he runs a shaking hand through his hair, face red. “How’s
your evening so far?”

“Not too bad,” she coos, stepping up on her toes and holding her hands behind her back,
pressing her tits forward and up. “I just got back from Floch and Eren’s and was going to
settle in for bed soon. Do you want to come inside?”

“No, I was just making sure our friend made it home safely,” he says, shifting his hands into
his pockets. He seems flustered and awkward and it makes you want to shove Pieck back into
the room and slam the door shut.

Pieck leans against the door, head resting softly against the wood as she looks up at Jean with
gentle, inviting eyes. “That’s too bad. We haven’t really gotten a chance to get together and
catch up properly,” she pouts and it makes you want to puke, “Even during meals, I feel like
everyone’s so busy working.”

“Maybe another time,” he says, and then he turns to you, resting his hand on your lower back
to gently push you inside. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye, Jean,” you say, more breathlessly than you intend, and walk forward into the room with
Pieck.

The instant the door closes, your gaze hardens on her and she returns the cold stare.

“I’m going to sleep. Don’t make too much noise,” she says before turning on her heel and
marching toward her bed.

You don’t even bother responding, you just set your things down next to your bed before
heading to the bathroom to do your nighttime routine.

You’re buzzing with so much excitement that it’s hard for you to go through the motions of
your routine. You’re doing steps out of order, multiple times, and you even drop a few things
as you replay the past few minutes over and over again in your head.

Every word Jean said to you made your heart beat faster and faster in your chest.
He didn’t like seeing you with Eren.

You were important to him.

He wanted to be alone with you.

He missed you.

And he kept looking at your lips! It almost felt like he wanted to kiss you.

You're so confused and annoyed by the situation. Every time things seem to be moving
forward with Jean, you end up getting interrupted — it's frustrating. Especially when Jean
keeps stammering over his words the way that he does. If he just said what he was trying to
say instead of beating around the bush, maybe you wouldn't feel so confused about how he
feels. Every time he tries to talk to you, he gets cut off before he can finish.

Is he trying to tell you that he's interested in you? Or is he trying to let you down? He
wouldn't touch you like that if he was going to reject you, right?

You wish you had the courage to confront him, but the idea of talking to Jean about your
feelings makes you nauseous. Although you're desperate to know if he likes you, you're
terrified that maybe he doesn't. You're not sure if your heart could handle rejection, not when
you've been in love with him for so long.

It would be devastating.

***

Are you still coming by?

Not tonight.
Super tired :(

“Is that girl coming over again? What’s-her-name?” Floch asks, twisting the knife as Eren
frowns down at your message.

“No,” Eren responds, sighing sharply before tossing his phone onto his bed. He runs his
hands up and down his face in an attempt to relieve his frustration, but it only makes things
worse.

Floch settles in his bed, pulling his eyemask on but resting it on his forehead as he turns to
face Eren. “That’s too bad, she’s really hot.”

“She’ll come over tomorrow,” Eren says quickly — defensively.

“Right, yeah, of course,” Floch says with a scoff. “Why wouldn’t she?”

Eren laughs nervously. He knows your rejection tonight has something to do with Jean and
it’s making him feel sick.
After finding out this morning that you thought Eren wasn’t getting you coffees anymore,
Eren knew that Jean was meddling. Of course, Eren is still getting you coffee in the morning!
Why would he stop?

He wouldn’t stop — but that’s just the type of shit that Jean would pull to try to convince you
that he was better.

Admittedly, he lost his cool a little in the parking lot this morning over those stupid fucking
coffees. He could have handled that a little better, for sure, but when you were looking up at
him, drinking Jean's coffee with that stupid hose-faced fuck smirking behind your back at
Eren — he couldn't help himself. And of course, Jean played the victim and had you running
to go save him — because you always run to protect Jean, even when he's the instigator.

Fuck fuck fuck. Eren feels like he's losing his mind.

“You’re pretty lucky, getting to fuck one of the girls on the team. It’ll be a nice couple of
weeks,” Floch says.

Eren ignores him.

He wonders if you’re with Jean right now. He knows you were in his room looking at
invoices or whatever-the-fuck it is that accountants do, but Reiner’s there, too. It’s not like
anything will happen between you and Jean if Reiner is there… right?

But you and Reiner have been getting really close recently, too — Eren's noticed. Rationally,
he knows it's because the two of you are both struggling with work and you've probably built
some sort of camaraderie around that. Eren should be happy that you have someone else to
whine to about your job.

But the emotional side of Eren doesn't see it that way. Instead, he hyper-fixates on the way
Reiner leans in to whisper in your ear. The way you pat his arm when you talk to him. The
way the two of you giggle behind the screen of your laptops. What's so fucking funny?

“Are you guys like, exclusive? I wouldn’t mind a turn on that ride.”

“Shut the fuck up, Floch,” Eren groans, rolling over on the bed with a huff, and turning his
back to Floch.

“Do you think Jean and Reiner take turns fucking her?”

The mental image makes Eren seethe in anger. “What the fuck are you talking about?” he
hisses.

“She’s always all over them at work,” Floch says with a scoff. Eren looks over his shoulder at
Floch with a frown. “There’s no way she hasn’t fucked both of them.”

You wouldn’t. Eren knows you wouldn’t. Floch is just talking out of his ass. He doesn’t
realize how much Eren actually fucking cares about you, so Floch’s just talking shit to try to
sound cool. But now, all he can think of is you getting double-teamed by Jean and Reiner and
it’s making his vision go completely red.
Normally, comments like this wouldn’t bother him — Hell, if it were any other girl, he might
even join in. He’d pull open the folder of nudes that he keeps on his phone and show off to
Floch how sexy his latest slam piece is.

But not about you, never about you. He doesn’t want anyone to see you the way he does. He
hates hearing Floch run his mouth about you, disrespecting you, making it sound like you’re
just another dumb slut and not the beautiful, smart, funny girl that you are —

Wait a second, what the fuck? Where did that come from?

“Shut the fuck up,” Eren snaps, pulling the blanket up over his head like a child. He’s not sure
if he’s snapping at Floch or his own internal dialogue, but either way, he feels sick. “She’s not
like that,” he grumbles, annoyed.

Eren was so fucking happy this morning when he woke up next to you. The whole day felt
better and brighter after spending the morning just kissing and touching you — he loved it —
it scared him.

Eren has never felt this way about anyone he’s been with before. Usually, after a few weeks,
he gets bored and moves on to someone new. But it’s been months and he still isn’t sick of
you. If anything, he’s just getting more and more obsessed.

And now every time he sees you talking to someone who’s not him, he gets pissed off. If
you’re not sitting directly next to him, he feels lonely. If you blow off hanging out with him
because you’re too tired, he gets sad.

Eren feels like he’s losing his fucking mind. Is this what it feels like when you have feelings
for someone? It’s terrible. Eren feels like shit every second that he’s not with you.

Is this how you feel about Jean?

The thought makes Eren feel sick.

Eren can’t believe this is happening. He never thought he’d start feeling this way about you.
You were supposed to just be a hook-up, a fuck buddy — someone he could use to help blow
off some sexual frustration. But lately, things have been so different. He’s thinking about you
all of the time, wondering what you’re doing, worrying about you, and wishing he was there
with you.

It’s not just that he enjoys fucking you anymore. There’s something else there, something
deeper. He’s known for a while now, but every time he thinks too hard about it, it makes him
feel nauseous. He gets a warm feeling in his chest whenever you smile at him or laugh at
something he says. When you lean in close or even just fucking touch his arm, he feels an
electric shock run through his body. Even the smell of you still lingering on his sheets is
making his head swim with yearning.

It’s like nothing he’s ever felt before.

Groaning in frustration he rolls over onto his side, covering his head with his pillow. He
wants to just ignore these feelings and move on, but how is he supposed to just turn off
something like this?

Fuck.
 Hopeless
Chapter Notes

I’ve been battling the world’s worst cold this past week and so I was high on cold
medication while editing so apologies in advance if there are any silly errors!!

cw: Explicit language, sexual content, angst, hurt/comfort, vague mention of canonical
character death, implied depression, mention of suicide (a character makes a joke that
worries another character)

Wednesday

You wake up feeling happy and well-rested the following morning. However, the feeling only
lasts for a few minutes before you start thinking about work and your anxieties and worries
crash down on you again.

As usual, you and Pieck ignore each other while you get ready for the day and she leaves the
room while you’re still getting dressed. When you get to the main floor of the hotel to meet
your team, the consulting team is nowhere in sight. You assume they left early to go get
coffee and you hope Eren won’t make a big deal about it again when he sees that Jean got
you another drink this morning.

In the car, Petra asks again, “How did the review go last night?”

Jean doesn’t answer right away. You watch from the corner of your eye as he runs a hand
through his hair and glances between you in the front seat and Reiner next to him in the back.
“Yeah, it went ok.”

“Only ok?” Petra asks, immediately catching on to Jean’s hesitation and non-answer. “What
does that mean?”

You look back at him to give him a reassuring shrug and he sighs. “I noticed a few more
mistakes this time than last.”

“From both juniors?”

“Not Reiner,” Jean says quietly and you turn back to face the road, cowering for Petra’s
impending scold.

But, it never comes. Instead, she just taps her fingers on the steering wheel with a hum. “Ok,
that’s fine. We will just have to try to buckle down today and make the most of it. I’ll take a
look at everyone’s work and we can see from there how we’re doing.”
Jean sighs, lips pressed into a tight line. “How do you think we’re doing so far?”

“We’re behind, definitely,” Petra answers quickly, sighing. “But, it’s nobody’s fault. The
client isn’t prepared for the level of interrogation we’ve been doing, between our audit
questions and the consulting questions.”

Petra pinches at the bridge of her nose, sighing again and letting them fall shut as you sit at a
stop light. “I really appreciate you all putting the time to work late to help get this done.
That’s going to be a real difference maker on whether or not we’re able to get this done
before we have to leave.”

Opening her eyes, she looks over at you. “I get that it’s really hard, but please don’t let it
discourage you from asking questions. I know I’m not always around to help — that’s
something I could do a lot better, for sure,” she chuckles, “But I want to be available for you
guys.”

You’re surprised by Petra’s sudden kindness and wonder how much of this is attributable to
her fear of losing out on her promotion.

“What do you want me to work on when we get to the client’s?” you ask.

“Work on some other stuff this morning while I look through your work. Once I’m finished
my review, I want you to focus on clearing all of your review notes and taking note of things
that you’re doing wrong.” She taps her nail against the steering wheel for emphasis. “I need
you to learn from your mistakes, so when you move on to a new section, you don’t keep
making the same mistakes.”

“Yeah, totally,” you say, nodding.

“How was Reiner’s work?” Petra asks, sitting up a little taller to look at Jean through the
rearview mirror.

“Uh, good,” Jean says, awkwardly. Although he was excited at the opportunity to review
work, you can tell that now he feels uncomfortable having to comment on his peers’
performance. “Reiner didn’t finish as much work yesterday, so there was less for me to look
at.”

Petra hums in understanding, turning to look back at Reiner, seated behind you. “I don’t want
you to sacrifice quality for speed, but try not to spend too much time on each task.”

He nods in response, “Got it.”

“And Kirstein?” she looks back up into the rearview mirror.

“Yeah?”

“Great work so far.”

Jean rubs the back of his neck, gaze down in his lap. “Thanks.”
 ***

It’s difficult for you to focus on your work when Petra is sitting across from you, brows
furrowed, sighing constantly. You know she’s looking over your work, so every time she
angrily clicks her mouse or aggressively types on her keyboard, you feel your heart sink into
your stomach.

You took a look at the review notes Jean left on your work last night, and he had quite a few
but it was nothing that was too unmanageable since he helped fix most of your other
mistakes. But now, you’re trying not to refresh your audit client, because each time you do,
the query counter goes up substantially.

It’s close to lunchtime when Petra finally looks up at you. “You can start working on your
queries now,” she says, voice tight. She looks over at Reiner, who’s practically cowering in
his seat next to you, “Reiner, I’m going to look through your stuff now, so you can work on
something else for a bit.”

You don’t catch Reiner’s reaction because you’re too busy gaping at the number of review
notes that Petra left on your working papers. There’s well over a hundred.

Are you really that bad?

You look up at Petra to gauge her expression, but she’s returned to angrily looking down at
her screen as she starts to review Reiner’s work.

Shit.

You take a long, slow exhale to try to calm the pounding in your chest. You can feel your
eyes burning and you're trying your absolute hardest not to burst into tears in the boardroom
in front of everyone. You try to focus on your breathing as you stare blankly at your screen,
tuning everyone else out until you pull yourself together. Normally, you would run to the
bathroom and go cry there for a bit, but you feel like you’re already so far behind that you
can’t afford to leave your seat.

You're broken out of your haze by the flashing of a chat notification on your computer screen.

Eren Jaeger: you ok?

Eren Jaeger: you look like ur about to shit yourself

I’m stupid
I’m so bad at my job

Eren Jaeger: talk to me.

Eren Jaeger: what happened

Petra reviewed my work and I’m fucking stupid

Eren Jaeger: you’re not stupid. stop saying that.

Eren Jaeger: do you wanna go walk it off? i’ll come
 I can’t Eren
I need to get this shit done or else they’re going to fire me

Eren Jaeger: they’re not going to fire you

Eren Jaeger: you’re fine, you got this

I just feel like such a piece of shit right now

Eren Jaeger: you’re good don’t worry

Eren Jaeger: come over after

Jesus Eren
I can’t

Eren Jaeger: not to like

Are you fucking serious right now

Eren Jaeger: do anything

Eren Jaeger: just so you’re not alone

You don’t respond to Eren’s message. You try to keep your head low and focused on the
screen as you feel a single tear slip from one of your eyes. You brush it away as quickly as
you can, but as you do so, you look up and catch eyes with Eren. He’s frowning across the
table at you, jaw tight. You just sternly shake your head at him before directing your attention
back to your computer.

***

The rest of the afternoon is somber. Petra’s not happy, Jean is awkward, and you and Reiner
are upset. There’s usually some banter between the accountants and consultants at the end of
the day when everyone is packing up, but the consultants must be able to sense the sour mood
because they keep to themselves.

Pieck leaves to go work with Eren and Floch, so you get the hotel room to yourself —
thankfully. Today has already been shitty, you don’t have the patience to be stuck in a room
with Pieck for the rest of the evening.

You’re about two seconds away from bursting into tears when you hear a gentle knocking at
your door. When you open the door, you’re surprised to find Reiner standing outside, in his
comfy clothes, laptop bag in tow.

“Hey,” he says, scratching at his beard. “Do you want some company? I know you had a
rough go with queries from Petra, too.”

Part of you wants to close the door in his face and cry by yourself in your room, but a
stronger part of you opens the door wider and invites him inside.

Unlike your usual seating arrangement in the boys’ room, you and Reiner sit next to each
other on your bed, computers sitting on your laps. You spend the first few minutes together
just setting up your stuff and settling in, quietly working independently to the soft sound of
whatever show is playing on the tv.

The two of you work quietly for about an hour before Reiner speaks. “How do you feel about
this?”

You let out a long, shaky exhale — barely holding back from bursting into tears, but
somehow you manage.

“I’m really fucking scared about next week when Hange gets here,” you admit. “And the
following week, when we’re back at Titan.”

“Do you think…?” Reiner doesn’t need to finish his sentence for you to know what he’s
insinuating.

“I think I’m going to get fired,” you say, quietly.

Reiner swallows loudly, nodding his head in slow, small movements. “Yeah, I think I am,
too.”

He runs his hands up and down over his face with a groan and when you look over at him,
you can see that his eyes are bloodshot.

Reiner doesn’t look like the same guy you met on your first day at Titan anymore. He doesn’t
even look like the same guy that sat with you, late at the office the night before you were put
on the Performance Improvement Plan.

He’s obviously lost a lot of weight. His face is angular in a way it never was before, his
clothes hang off of his frame, and his beard and hair are long and unkempt. It breaks your
heart to see him struggling like this and you wonder if you look just as bad as he does.

“Still thinking of quitting?” you ask, trying to make light of the situation but your voice is
shaky and low.

“Kind of thinking of killing myself, to be honest with you,” he says with a snort. When you
look over at him, alarmed, he quickly backtracks. “I’m only joking.”

“Are you sure? Are you ok?” you ask, worried.

He sighs, resting his face in his hands. “I don’t know. This is hard.” His voice is just a
muffled grumble against his palms. “I’ve been so busy with work these past few months that
I haven’t been able to take care of myself properly.”

He lifts his head up from his palms and looks over at you with a frown. “I used to… have
some mental health problems… back in university — still do, I guess. It’s not really
something that just goes away.” Reiner shuffles in his seat, hands clenched into fists by his
hips as he speaks. “A close friend of mine passed away in a pretty traumatic way and it
fucked me up,” he confesses.
“I’m really sorry to hear that, Reiner,” you say, brows furrowed in concern. You reach out to
rest a comforting hand on his knee as he takes slow, shallow breaths.

“I went to therapy over it, just through the programs that the school offers, but it was really
helpful. My therapist and I worked through it and it took a long time but… I managed, you
know? Things seemed ok, for a while.

“I mean, things have been ok… for a long time. But, with how stressful work has been
recently and how fucking shithouse I am at my job… I’ve been feeling like things aren’t ok
anymore.”

He sighs heavily, clenching and unclenching his fists at his sides. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to
dump all of this on you like this, but I just feel really comfortable around you and things have
been getting so hard… it’s hard to go through this alone.”

“No, don’t apologize, Reiner, it’s ok,” you say quietly, brows still knitted together. “Are you
still talking to a therapist?”

“No,” he admits, looking away. “I used to see one every few weeks, sometimes more if things
were… bad. But, with work, I haven’t been able to make the time to go see someone again
and…”

His face scrunches up as he takes another heavy sigh and you just sit quietly next to him,
allowing him the space and time he needs.

When he looks up at you again, you can see his eyes glistening as they hold back tears. “I’m
not in a good place, right now,” he admits, voice cracking. “And I don’t know what to do.”

“Don’t let this job kill you,” you say quickly, squeezing his knee tighter. “It’s just a job.
There will be other jobs, but there won’t be other Reiner Brauns.”

He chuckles, but it seems forced.

You don’t really know what to say to him to make him feel better, but you try your best.
You’ve never experienced anything like this yourself or within your friend group, so you’re
nervous about saying the wrong thing.

“If you’re having a hard time, you need to talk to someone,” you urge. “Prioritize yourself.”

“I know,” he sighs. “It’s just fuckin’ hard when all my other friends are thriving.”

“I totally understand that. I’m afraid too,” you admit. “I don’t want to be bad at something.
It’s scary.”

He nods, eyes downcast into his lap. With his thumbs, he taps the pad of each of his fingers
from pinkie to index — over and over as he tries to steady his breathing. “Yeah, it’s fucking
hard.”

“You need to quit,” you say quietly, like someone might overhear. “Apply for another job. Go
work in Marley. Anything — anything is better than what you’re going through right now.”
“I know,” he says, swallowing. “I know. I just… I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I just can’t,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t know.”

Your frown deepens as you watch Reiner crumble in front of you. You sympathize with what
he’s going through right now. Although you don’t have the same history of mental health
issues as he does, you feel like you’re on the brink of snapping, too.

It’s hard to admit to yourself that the job isn’t a good fit for you, let alone admit it to someone
else. You’ve been struggling since your first real day of work at Titan. How much suffering
are you going to put yourself through before you admit that this job isn’t for you?

You wish you were just better, like Jean. If you picked up on things as quickly as Jean did
and you weren’t struggling so much, you’d love this job. You know you would.

But instead, you have trouble falling asleep at night because you’re scared to go in to work
the next day. You’re afraid of how many queries you’ll find on your working papers. You’re
nervous that all your friends and family will realize that you’re a fraud — that you don’t
deserve to work here, you never did.

Despite your insistence that Reiner should quit, you know exactly how he feels. The job
sucks, but quitting doesn’t feel like a real option. It feels like giving up, and you’ve never
given up on anything before — why start now?

The door to your hotel room opens suddenly, startling you both when Pieck walks in. She
glances between the two of you, brows furrowed as she takes in your position on the bed
together, but then her eyes move up to Reiner’s face, and her expression softens.

“Is everything ok?” she asks, immediately setting her things down on the ground and
approaching. Pieck sits at the edge of the bed, closer to Reiner, and looks at him with
concern. When Reiner doesn’t answer right away, she looks over to you. “What’s going on?”

You look over at Reiner, unsure of how much he wants to share with her, but he’s returned his
gaze back to his lap, tapping his fingers, and you suddenly feel protective.

“Pieck, get out of here.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” she spits, frowning. “Tell me what’s wrong, Reiner is my friend.”

Is he? You’ve never seen the two of them talk before.

“Reiner.” Pieck leans forward, close to Reiner as she ducks her head to find his eyes. She
pushes his laptop shut and looks up at him softly, brows knitted in concern. “Are you ok?”

You’re about to snap at her again, unconvinced that these two are actually friends, when
Reiner looks up at her. “I’m having a really hard time at work,” he confesses.

“How bad is it?”

“Bad bad,” he sighs and Pieck’s lips press into a thin line.

“Have you talked to anyone?” she glances over at you before returning her gaze to him. “You
can talk to me,” she urges, reaching a hand forward to rest on his other knee. Her action
makes you realize that your hand has been lingering on him this whole conversation, so you
return it to your lap.

“What about the others back home?” she asks. “Have you talked to Bertolt? Annie? Porco? ”
With each name, her voice takes on a greater tone of urgency.

You don’t recognize any of those names, but Reiner seems to know who Pieck is talking
about because he offers a shrug. “I’ve kind of been talking with Bertl, but he doesn’t know
the whole deal.”

“You need to talk to us if something’s going on,” she says. “We can’t help you if we don’t
know you’re struggling. We’re your friends, you have to trust us.”

Reiner nods and he runs a hand up and down his face, sniffling back tears. “I know, Pieck, I
know. Thanks.”

“What do you need from us?” you ask. “How can we help?”

Pieck glances over at you with an appreciative smile as she scoots further up on the bed,
sitting closer to you both. “Yeah, we’re here for you.”

“Venting has been really helpful,” he admits, looking up at you. “I feel a lot better now, with
all of that off of my chest… thanks, guys.”

You both offer him a sympathetic smile as he glances between you, before lowering his eyes
back down to his lap. “Maybe after this job, I’ll take some time off… go back to Marley and
visit everyone.”

“I’ll come, too,” Pieck says, eyes crinkling as her smile grows.

“You only want to come so you can visit with Porco,” Reiner teases.

"Ugh, you know I can't stand that brat," Pieck says, but the two of them start laughing. “Why
don't we see if everyone wants to go to that bakery Annie likes?"

“That sounds really nice.” Reiner takes another long, shaky breath, but then he sits up a little
taller and he looks a little happier. “Thanks a lot for talking with me, guys. I’m feeling a lot
better now. Sorry for burdening you both with my emotions.”

“Don’t be sorry,” you and Pieck say at the same time.

Reiner gets up off the bed and the mattress creaks loudly from the change in weight. “I think
I’m going to head back to my room, now. Maybe go hit the gym or something… something
for me.”
“Reiner, are you sure?” Pieck presses, just as you’re about to say goodbye. “You don’t need
to leave, you can stay and talk with us if you need to.”

“No, I’m good, I’m good,” he assures, but from how Pieck frowns you can tell she doesn’t
believe him. She doesn’t say anything in response, just watches him carefully as he packs up
his things from the bed.

“You know we love you, right?” she says finally, voice quiet. “The whole gang does.”

“I know, Pieck,” he says, smiling.

“You don’t have to pretend to be strong around us. You can just be yourself… be vulnerable.”

“I know, Pieck,” he assures, but his smile seems sad. “Thanks,” he says finally before
leaving.

The air in the room feels different after Reiner leaves and when you look over at Pieck, she
has her lip tucked between her teeth, brows furrowed in concern. She realizes you’re staring
and looks over at you, sucking her cheek into her mouth before saying, “Thanks for being
there for Reiner.”

“Yeah, you too,” you say, still tense. “I didn’t know the two of you were friends.”

“We met through my roommate from university,” Pieck explains. “She’s known him since
they were kids... Reiner’s been through a lot.”

“Do you think he’s going to be ok?” you ask with a frown.

She takes in a deep breath, holding it for a beat before releasing it with a heavy sigh. “It
seems like he’s under a lot of stress… I’ve never seen him like this before.”

You hum sadly in response, tapping your fingers mindlessly on the keys.

“He seems to like you,” she says quietly, looking at the doorway to your room. “I know he’s
talked to you before about this kind of thing… nice to know you’re not a complete cunt, I
guess.”

You turn to snap at her but pause when you see her smiling. “Yeah, and I guess you can't be
all bad if Reiner likes you.”

“Yeah,” Pieck says before getting up from your bed, walking back to the entrance to grab her
things and putting them away properly now that Reiner is gone. “Are you… just staying
here?”

“Yeah, I have some work I need to do,” you say, eyes fixed on your computer.

“Ok.” Pieck fiddles with her phone in her hands and from the corner of your eye, you can see
that she’s glancing between you and the door. “I’m going to go for a walk,” she says.
“Yeah, whatever,” you shrug, not bothering to look up as she leaves. A part of you wonders if
you should try to stop her — maybe she’s running off to go flirt with Jean — but you’re so
exhausted from the day, you can’t find the energy to bring yourself to make a fuss.

Tonight, she can have him.

She’s only gone for a few minutes before you hear another knock at your door. This time with
an annoyed sigh you get up from your bed and make your way to the door, you’re tired of all
of these interruptions, you really need to get some work done.

Your irritation immediately melts away when you see the person you were just thinking about
standing in the doorway in front of you. “Hey, do you mind if I come in?” Jean asks, and you
notice that he has his laptop bag on his shoulder.

“Sure, come in,” you say quietly, moving aside for him to step in. With his back to you, you
quickly adjust your hair and fix your clothes, watching him carefully as he approaches your
bed. Jean is the last person you expected to be at your door — well, after Floch.

“Mind if I sit?”

“Go ahead,” you nod when he turns to look at you for confirmation and then he settles down
on your bed.

You walk back to the bed as well, watching him carefully as he pulls out his laptop and boots
up his computer.

“You seemed really upset at work today,” he says, eyes fixed on his screen. “I saw how many
queries Petra left you, so I thought I’d come by and help out.”

When Jean looks up at you, you almost burst into tears. After having such a bad day at work
and then such an emotionally draining conversation with Reiner, Jean’s small act of kindness
has you on the brink of collapsing.

“Hey, are you ok?” he asks, brows furrowing.

“I’m fine,” you say quickly, voice strained as you settle on the bed beside him. “Thanks,
Jean.”

“Of course,” he says, still looking over at you despite your efforts to avoid his gaze. “Petra
didn’t assign me as much work as she did to you and Reiner, so I could help her with
review… so I have some free time to help out.”

“Thank you, Jean,” this time your voice audibly cracks when you speak and from the corner
of your eye you can see Jean looking at you softly.

“So, how are things?”

“Still hard,” you admit with a shrug. “Reiner was just in here actually and we were kind of
having a bit of a heart-to-heart.”
“Oh?” Jean says curiously. “I didn’t realize the two of you were so close.”

“We’re really bonding over how bad we are at this job,” you say with a chuckle, finally
looking back up at Jean. His lips are pursed and brows are scrunched as he looks at you and it
seems like he’s annoyed. “What?” you ask.

“Nothing,” he says, shaking his head and turning back to his laptop. “Do you wanna start on
top?”

“What?” you ask, brows jerking up in surprise.

“Like, the top of the file,” Jean explains, gesturing vaguely with his hands. “If you start on
top and work your way down, I can start from the bottom and work my way up until we meet
in the middle.”

“Oh,” you say, embarrassed that your mind immediately went to the gutter. “Yeah, that
sounds great.”

“Ok, cool,” he says, grinning over at you before lacing his fingers together and stretching
them out in front of him. “Let’s get to work, we’ve got a lot of ground to cover.”

The two of you work in relative silence as you concentrate on clearing Petra’s queries. You
joke and laugh a few times about some of Petra’s outlandish requests and you tease Jean a
little when he pulls out a seemingly endless supply of snacks from his laptop bag, but within
a few hours, the two of you manage to clear every single query.

“Wow, that’s gotta be like a record,” Jean says with a sigh, shutting his laptop on his lap
before reclining back against your pillows. “What was that, like 150 queries?”

“Hey, I did a lot of them myself before you even got here,” you tease, poking him in the side.
He squirms away from your touch, laughing, and when you continue to poke and prod him he
reaches out to grab your wrists.

“Stop that, I’m helping you,” he scolds teasingly. “If I hadn’t come by, you would’ve had to
be up all night. Thanks to me, you can get a decent night’s sleep today,” he says pointedly.

You try to twist your wrists out of his grip, but he keeps a firm hold on them. “Whatever, I
would’ve been fine without you,” you say with a grin.

It’s nice to have this moment of normalcy with Jean again. You forgot how much you missed
your playful banter with Jean and the way his presence relaxed you. You know you should
use this time alone to say something to him, but you don’t want to ruin the moment.

“Yeah, right,” he scoffs and he tugs you a little closer toward him by your wrists. Your laptop
slides off your lap onto the bed as he pulls you close until your shoulder is leaning against his
chest, it’s only then that he releases his grip on you.

“Shit, sorry,” he says quickly, shuffling away slightly and avoiding your gaze.
Selfishly, you only cling to him tighter, wrapping your arms around his waist and pushing
your body close to his. “No, it’s ok,” you say quickly, squeezing him tight. “Thanks for all
your help, Jean.”

Jean laughs and his body stays tense for a moment before he swings his arm around your
shoulder. He grabs both of your laptops and gently tosses them to the foot of the bed as you
squirm closer and closer until your thigh is slung over his hips.

“Of course. I’d do anything for you,” he says softly. With your cheek pressed into his chest
you can’t see his face, but you can feel the way he rests his chin on your head while he places
his hand softly on your lower thigh, near your knee.

“So, what do you think of Trost so far?” he asks, the soft vibrations of his voice in his chest
causing your heart rate to quicken.

“I’ve been here before, we have to drive through the city to get to your cabin,” you remind
him.

“Yeah, I guess,” he says and you let your eyes flutter shut as you enjoy this moment of
intimacy with him. “But we usually just pass through. Maybe before the job ends I can take
you out a bit — show you some of my old favourite spots.”

“That'd be cool! Do you have any fun stories of everyone from when you were kids?”

“Nothing you haven’t already heard before,” he says.

“When we go see your mom this weekend, I’m going to ask her to tell me a bunch of stories
about you.”

He groans, lifting his hand from your leg to run through his hair. “And I know she’ll tell you
everything too, that’s so embarrassing.”

You giggle, “Why? Are you hiding something from me, Jean?”

“No,” he sings and he curls his arm tighter around your shoulder.

Maybe it’s just the stress or maybe it’s the sleep deprivation, but there’s something about the
way that his arm shifts around your side and how his other hand on your thigh tightens that
makes you think he wants you to climb into his lap.

… So, you do.

“Woah!” he says, eyes widening in alarm when you roll on top of him, legs straddling either
side of his thighs as your hands rest on his chest.

When you see the look of shock on his face, you immediately regret your decision. “Shit,
sorry!” you hiss. You pull your hands back as if burned, face flushing in embarrassment as
you twist in his lap.
“N-No, it’s ok,” he says quickly, hands shifting to your hips to hold you in place as you try to
sit up. “You can stay.”

“O-Ok!”

You shift until you’re sitting on his thighs instead of directly on his crotch and keep your
gaze low on his chest, teeth clenched into a tight grimace. Your face is on fire and your heart
is thundering in your chest. You feel stupid. You feel awkward.

Why did you think he wanted you to sit on his lap?

You look back up at Jean’s face to see it completely contorted in pain. His eyebrows are
pressed into a tight peak in his forehead, his lips are pursed tightly, and his hands on your
hips have shifted into just tight fists at your sides.

“I’m sorry, am I hurting you?”

“N-No, no, no,” he says quickly as his face rapidly begins to turn red. “I-I’m just — T-This
is…”

He looks at you, mouth open and just shakes his head gently, at a complete loss for words. He
just keeps sputtering and stammering as he looks at you with wide eyes.

You want to crawl into a hole and die.

“I’ll get off,” you insist and you shift your weight to climb off of him but he suddenly wraps
his arms around your waist. Jean pulls you down back onto his thighs with a quiet Wait! and
the sudden jerk of your body causes you to fall forward into his chest.

“Oh my God,” you squeal, panicking.

“Shit! Sorry, I didn’t mean to —”

When you fall forward into his chest, the hem of your shirt rides up to your waist. Jean must
not realize this because when he puts his hands on you to help you sit up, you feel his hot
palms against your bare skin. He groans at the contact, squeezing you a little tighter in his
hands.

“Your skin is so soft,” he whispers, hands trailing up and down along your sides and you feel
chills shoot down your spine.

“Jean…” You press yourself off his chest with your palm directly on his heart. You can feel
his heart pounding against your hand as you look into his face and see that his usually bright
brown eyes have gone completely dark.

He whispers your name, eyes flicking down to your mouth as his thumbs press into your
ribcage, just below the curve of your breasts. He brushes them back and forth and you can
feel just the tips of his thumbs grazing against the underside of your breasts.

“Sorry,” he says quietly but you gently shake your head.

“No, it’s ok,” you insist, and Jean visibly relaxes.

“Sorry, I don’t know why I’m so awkward,” he says through clenched teeth. “We do shit like
this all the time.”

”Right!” you say quickly, nodding emphatically. “It’s not weird.”

”It’s not weird,” he repeats, like he’s trying to reassure himself.

“Right.”

You try to will your heart to calm down as you stare into Jean’s unwavering gaze. You watch
as he sucks in a sharp breath and you hold yours in anticipation before he says, “So, how’s
work — really?”

“Hard,” you admit, melting a little in his lap. Your hand is still pressed against his chest and
you let the beating of his heart beneath your palm help ground you. “Especially after talking
with Reiner tonight, I’m really stressed out.”

“Why’s that?” he asks.

“He seemed really… he didn’t seem to be in a good place. I’m worried if things get worse,
I’ll be like him, too.”

“Reiner’s gone through some shit,” Jean explains, face twisting in concern. “I don’t things
would get that bad for you. But even if they did, that’s ok.”

You laugh, “How is that ok?”

“You’ve got me and the rest of the Core Four to fall back on,” he says, grinning, and he
squeezes your waist a little tighter in his hands — those same hot hands that you’ve been
hyper-aware of this whole time, still holding on to your bare waist underneath your shirt. “If
you have to quit and do something else, it’s ok.”

“I’m not just going to give up.”

“It’s not giving up,” he says sternly. “I don’t know why you keep saying that.”

“You keep repeating yourself, too,” you point out. “This isn’t the first time you’ve given me
this whole speech.”

“Yeah, and I’ll do it again and again until it finally gets through your thick skull,” he teases,
pursing his lips in amusement. “I know you’ve been talking with Eren a lot about this shit
and he’s a fuckin’ blockhead, so he’s probably filling your head with bad ideas.” You roll
your eyes, but Jean continues. “Giving up doesn’t mean you failed — sometimes, it’s the
bravest choice. You need to think about yourself, first.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you scoff but you let a smile grow across your face from his words. “Thanks,
Jean.”
He smiles at you, a wide grin at first before it slowly drops to just a small half-smile as you
watch his face completely soften. His heart starts to thunder under your palm and you see
Jean take in a slow breath before speaking again.

“I love you, ok? I don’t say it enough, but I never want you to forget that.”

You feel your own heart rate start to pick up speed from his words and you wonder if Jean
can feel your body burning from the flush of heat you feel coursing through your body. “I
know, Jean. I love you, too.”

It never gets easier hearing him say those words when you know he doesn’t mean it the same
way that you do. Especially not now, when you can feel how fast his heart is beating and you
can see pink dusting his cheeks — he almost looks as flustered as you feel and it makes your
heart lurch into your throat.

Normally, you’d try not to read into it, but with everything that’s happened these past few
weeks, you can’t help yourself from latching on to this small glimmer of hope.

You swallow thickly, struggling to maintain eye contact as you return his smile with one of
your own. His shoulders relax and his heart pounds harder under your hand, but before you
can say anything more, you feel his hands inching higher up your torso until his fingers are
sprawled just under your arms and the sides of his thumbs are pressed against the underside
of your breasts. If he swiped his thumb, he’d brush directly over your nipple.

The thought makes your breath hitch in your throat and you involuntarily squeeze your thighs
around his. You watch his eyes widen as he tugs his lower lip between his teeth, releasing a
slow, shaky breath through his nostrils. You run your tongue across your lower lip, watching
his eyes follow your movement before your whisper again, “Jean …”

“Huh,” he hums, eyes not moving from your mouth. You watch Jean drag his lip through his
teeth until it’s pulled free, swollen and pink from how hard he was biting it.

You run both hands up Jean’s chest, settling them against his neck and brushing the underside
of his jaw with your thumbs. You lean forward and watch as Jean’s eyes flutter shut and he
tilts his head upward slightly, lips parted and inviting as you lean in.

Jean lifts his hand from your waist to wrap around one of your wrists, his hand is so big that
it engulfs the entirety of your wrist as he guides it up from his shoulder to his jaw. Jean
cracks open his eyes, looking down his nose at you with half-lidden eyes as he gently tilts his
head to the side. He keeps his gaze fixed on yours as he presses his parted lips into the pulse
point of your wrist and your breath audibly hitches in your throat.

“This ok?” he asks, lips moving against your skin.

“Yeah,” you respond, eyes watching him carefully as he puckers his lips against your skin.
You’re not even certain if you’re breathing as you watch him, shifting your gaze to his eyes
to see that he’s still staring at you.
Jean shifts his face forward again and your skin still burns from where he pressed his lips.
You watch his Adam’s apple bob in his throat as he swallows, looking at you expectantly.
You can see the desire painted across his face so clearly that it almost feels like a dream —
Jean’s never looked at you like this before.

It almost feels like he wants you to kiss him.

Letting your eyes fall shut, you brush your nose against his, and the sound he makes sends
bolts of lightning straight down your spine. Something like a soft, needy whimper, and you
like it so much you brush your nose against him a second time to hear it again.

His grip around your waist tightens and he slides your hips forward until you’re seated
directly on his crotch. You squeak in surprise, lips so close to Jean’s that you can feel it when
he breaks out into a smile.

“Are you going to do it?” he taunts. You’re shocked by how low his voice is — just a deep
rumble that immediately sends heat rushing between your thighs. You’ve never heard Jean’s
voice dip this low before and it makes you fist the hair at the back of his neck in need.

Now it really feels like he wants you to kiss him.

“Do what?” you ask, feigning confidence as you feel heat flooding through your veins. “Do
what, Jean?” you urge, smiling against his mouth as his hands grip you tighter.

Jean’s hands trail down the side of your waist and the front of your thighs before sliding
underneath them and gripping you tightly just under the curve of your ass. He shifts his face,
brushing his nose against your cheek and his stubble across your jaw until you feel his hot
breath on the shell of your ear.

You're practically panting in his ear, resisting the urge to grind into his lap as you feel his
slow, steady breaths against your skin.

“Jean,” you whimper and you feel his whole body tense up beneath you.

“I can’t stop thinking about that night,” he admits as his hands squeeze your thighs tighter.
You hear him swallowing next to your ear as if he’s trying to muster up courage before he
speaks again. “Do you regret it?”

“No,” you answer quickly, “Do you?”

“No,” he says back and you can almost feel him grinning as he presses his cheek against
yours.

You let your eyes flutter shut, trying desperately to calm either the pounding of your heart or
your erratic breaths, but having Jean pressed against you like this — breathing into your ear
like this — it’s too much.

“Tell me what you want,” he says and you barely recognize his voice when it’s so gravelly
and thick like this. “I need to hear you say it.”
You can only offer him a breathless whimper as your head swims with desire. You steer his
face back against your own and brush your nose against his again. Your lips are parted, just
softly brushing against his and you’re both panting, now.

“Come on,” he urges.

“Jean, I — fuck — I…”

You still haven’t kissed yet but your heart is thundering in your chest and the two of you are
practically breathing the same air from how close your mouths are.

“Please, come on,” he urges again, desperation evident in his voice.

The soft click! of the door unlocking snaps you both back to your senses. Jean practically
throws you off of his lap as he rolls off of the bed and onto his knees on the floor. You
bounce against the mattress, flushed and breathless, in time to see Pieck walk into the room.

“Um,” she pauses in the doorway as she looks between the two of you: you sprawled across
the bed and out of breath, and Jean on the floor with a bright red face. “I’m sorry, should I
leave?”

“No!” Jean yells. He clears his throat and runs a hand through his hair before continuing, “I
mean, I was just about to… Leave, I mean.”

He keeps his head down, strands of his hair falling into his face as he frantically stuffs his
things back into the laptop bag: his laptop, the half-eaten bag of chips, his phone. After
zipping his bag shut, he gets up off of the ground, holding his laptop bag firmly against his
crotch as he stands.

“I-I have things,” he explains, looking up and offering you both a shrug and a vague hand
gesture as he slings his bag onto his shoulder, still careful to hold it over his lap. Every time
his eyes land on you, they immediately dart up to the ceiling. “Uh… I’ll see you!”

He salutes you both before taking big, long strides to the doorway, only stopping to pause for
Pieck to step aside before continuing to charge out of the room and down the hall.

Pieck lets the door close gently behind her as she looks over at you with a raised eyebrow.
“What did you do to him?”

“I don’t know! Leave me alone!” you yell, still flustered as you storm past her and into the
bathroom, slamming the door behind you.

“Ok,” she says quietly through the door. “Well, I’m going to bed. Please try not to make too
much noise.”

“Yeah, whatever!” you call back, wrapping both of your arms around your middle and
squeezing yourself tightly.

What the fuck was that?

You grab a towel from under the sink and bury your face into it before screaming. There’s so
much adrenaline in your veins that you feel like you might pass out at any minute.

You close the lid of the toilet and then sit down on top of it, taking slow, deep, calming
breaths as you try to relax.

Jean definitely wanted to kiss you just then, right? There’s no other way to interpret what just
happened.

You take a slow shuddering breath and squeeze your eyes shut tightly. Shit, you need to talk
to Sasha, right now. Your hands are shaking so much that you’re worried you're going to drop
your phone as you flip through your apps and your contacts until you find her name.

I just sat in Jean’s lap

???
Pardon me???

I just
SAT
IN JEAN’S LAP!!!

Your phone lights up with a photo of you and Sasha smiling together and you immediately
answer.

“Context, please,” she says and her voice is so loud in your ear that you have to fiddle with
the volume of your phone before responding.

“Jean and I were just sitting in my room together, doing work, and then I climbed into his
fucking lap,” you whisper, voice just a sharp hiss as you try to contain yourself.

“And then what happened?”

“It was so embarrassing! I was fucking whining and panting and grinding in his lap — oh my
God!”

“What did Jean do?”

“He was like, Just do it. Come on. Fuck, I don’t know! I think I blacked out!”

“Oh my God!” Sasha screams as you clench your eyes shut. Your whole body feels wet from
nervous sweat as your mind replays the last few minutes. “He wanted you to kiss him, idiot!”

You can’t respond when you’re practically hyperventilating, so Sasha continues, “What else
could he have wanted? If he didn’t immediately throw you off his lap when you got on, then
obviously he wanted you to be there!”

“Sasha!” you scold when you hear her cackling on the other end of the line.

“Oh my God, I wish I was there to see that.”

“Sasha!” you hiss again, twisting the towel in your hands like some kind of stress ball as you
cradle your phone against your shoulder. “I’m serious!”

“So am I!” she says around her laughter. “Where is he now? He is still there? Hi Jean!”

“Sasha!” you whine, dropping the towel in your lap to cover your face with one hand. “No,
he’s not still here — he left immediately after! God, do you really think he wanted to kiss
me? I mean, I thought so too, but it’s just —”

“Relax, relax,” Sasha says quickly. “Why didn’t you kiss him?”

“I don’t know,” you whine, rubbing at your face with your hand in frustration. “I was
overwhelmed by the situation.”

“Literally, this man is giving you so many green lights, you need to have some confidence!”
she says, trying to keep her voice level and stern around her laughter. “He stuck his fucking
fingers in your socks, he weirdly hugged you the other night, and now he’s begging you to
kiss him?”

“Sasha, I’m going to cry,” you whimper, still consumed with embarrassment. “Don’t say this
shit just to try to cheer me up, ok? I’m really stressed out.”

“I’m serious!” she insists, and this time her laughter stops. “Oh my God, trust me! He’s into
you, I promise!”

You whine again, eyes still clenched shut tightly. “Ok,” you concede. “So what if he is? What
do I do now?”

“Now, you act,” Sasha says and even through the phone you know she’s got a determined
glint in her eyes. “You said he’s taking you to see his mom this weekend, right? That’s your
chance, you need to kiss him… actually kiss him! Just grab his face and give him a big
mwah! If you can’t grow a pair and tell him how you feel, then show him!”

You release a big, shuddering sigh. “Ok,” you say quietly as the confidence in you starts to
build again. “Ok, I can do that.”
 Shameless (e)
Chapter Notes

Team Eren, you might want to savour this chapter.

cw: Angst, explicit language, explicit sexual content (vaginal sex, unprotected,
creampie, multiple orgasms, oral sex)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Thursday

Petra corners you in the bathroom at the client’s when you’re washing your hands. She hasn’t
spoken to you at all today, not even during the car ride debriefs you usually have, so you feel
like you've been walking on eggshells around her.

“How are things?” she asks, arms crossed over her chest as she leans against the counter.

You shake your wet hands into the sink, drying them off a bit before walking past her to the
paper towel dispenser. “I finished all of the queries you left from the other day,” you offer. “I
should be done with most of my sections today, so I can focus on more cleanup on Friday
before the weekend.”

“I told you not to let your relationship with Eren fuck up this client,” she spits.

“It’s not,” you respond defensively. “I didn’t even see him yesterday.”

She scoffs in disbelief, rolling her eyes dramatically. “Your work was looking a lot better
back at the office. You were improving and learning from your mistakes… it looked really
good. Now all of a sudden, when we’re out in Trost with your precious Eren Jaeger, your
work is tanking.”

“It’s not because of Eren,” you say sternly, frowning. “It’s hard. Reiner’s having a hard time,
too — I guarantee you he’s not fucking Eren.”

“Oh, so you two are fucking,” she says, brow raised.

You’re flustered from your admission, but you try to stay confident. “As if you didn’t know.”

“Right.” She looks away from you, sighing heavily as she looks down at her feet. “I’ll be
honest, things aren’t great for you right now. Your performance on this job is really below
expectations in terms of both quality and output. I’m being hard on you so you can try to pull
it together because when Hange gets here, I won’t be able to cover for you.”
“Are you covering for me now?” you ask, quietly.

“A little,” she admits. “I like you, you remind me of someone I used to work with… I know
that it’s hard, but I really need you to focus.”

“It’s hard when I feel like I’m fucking stupid all day,” you sigh, suddenly feeling a dam of
frustration bursting as you speak. “I just feel like things aren’t clicking. I keep getting things
wrong over and over again — the same things! I feel like I’m not learning.”

“You were doing really good,” Petra assures, looking up at you again. “But these past few
days, your work has been completely different — and not in a good way. When Hange gets
here on Monday, if they think you’re not performing well... it doesn’t matter what my report
to Erwin says, he’ll take their word over mine.”

You nod in understanding, looking down at the tiled floor of the bathroom. “Is it supposed to
be this hard?”

“What?”

“This job?” you look up at Petra with wide eyes. “Did you struggle this much when you
started here?”

“I had a really good mentor when I started here,” she says, a small smile growing across her
face. “I was stupid too, don’t get me wrong, but it was easier when I had someone I felt like I
could go to with my problems and I want to be that for you,” she says, looking at you sternly.
“For Reiner, for Kirstein… for everyone. When I get promoted, I want to be the kind of
manager that can support the new and junior staff. I want to give you guys the knowledge
that I wish I had when I was in your position, so you have all the tools you need to succeed.”
She sighs, crossing her arms tighter across her chest. “I know it’s a little idealistic, but…”

“No, I think that’s great,” you say. “Sometimes you’re just a little unapproachable, so I don’t
always feel comfortable asking you for help.”

“I wish you wouldn’t feel that way,” she says, shrugging. “I know I’m probably grumpy a lot
of the time. It’s because I’m always so fucking overwhelmed with work. I work probably 70
hours each week and I’m just tired…”

You watch as she rubs at her eyes with both hands, crumpling forward with a heavy sigh.
You’re used to Petra being grumpy and standoffish at work, so it’s unusual to see this
vulnerable side of her.

Is everyone at Titan miserable? Are some people just better at hiding it than you and Reiner?

“I’m sorry I haven’t been a good mentor,” she says, looking up at you with a frown. “Give
me the opportunity to be better. Ask for help when you need me. Don’t be afraid.”

“Ok,” you say with a nod. “I will.”

She smiles and nods with you, finally uncrossing her arms and turning to leave the bathroom.
As her hand rests on the handle of the door, she turns to you with a stern look, “And stop
fucking around with Eren Jaeger.”

***

You settle into Eren’s lap on the bed, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and burying
your face in his neck. You had (surprise, surprise) another really bad day at work and despite
your better judgment, you allowed Eren to talk you into coming over to his room for the night
after you spent a few hours working on open review notes in your room.

After you argued with Petra about how Eren isn’t the reason why your work quality is so
poor, you feel a little guilty being here now, but you know this is probably the last time
you’re going to see Eren like this.

Tomorrow, you’re going with Jean to his parent’s house for the weekend and after Sasha’s
boost of confidence, you’ve decided that you’re going to confess your feelings for him. Part
of you is certain that Jean is going to return your feelings — especially after what happened
last night — but even if he doesn't, after this weekend, your arrangement with Eren is going
to end.

There’s no reason for you to continue to hook up with Eren if you’re not doing it to make
Jean jealous... right?

You’ve been in denial for a while, even after Sasha pointed it out to you, but you realized
today that you're developing feelings for Eren. You know you are because after having a
rough day today, he’s the first person you wanted to be with — the only person.

The thought makes you sick. You feel like you’re cheating on Jean, even though you hardly
have a romantic relationship with Jean — but you’ve been in love with him for so long that
the thought of having feelings for someone else makes you feel guilty. If you keep seeing
Eren, you know these feelings will only get stronger and the guilt will only get worse.

It doesn’t help that Eren’s been so perfect with you these past few months. It’s not even just
about the sex anymore — he helps ground you when you’re stressed about work. He knows
exactly what to say to make you calm down and make you feel better. He makes you feel
safe.

The thought of losing Eren — of losing your rock — has you sobbing harder into his neck,
balling your hands into fists against his bare back. You feel stupid and childish for crying
over losing a fuck buddy, especially with all the shit that’s going on at work right now.

You should be focused on trying to improve your performance — that should be your
priority. Instead, it’s these stupid boys at work.

“You’re ok, babe,” Eren says, whispering into your neck as he rubs his hands up and down
your back. “I’ve got you, you’re good.”

“I think I’m going to get fired,” you whine, voice muffled in Eren’s neck. “I keep screwing
things up and Petra keeps getting mad at me.”
“I’m sure that’s not true,” he assures, stroking the back of your head. “You’re a hard worker,
I’m sure everyone can see that you’re trying your best — even the higher-ups.”

“That’s the thing… I feel like I’m always just trying and never actually succeeding,” you sigh
heavily, clenching your eyes shut tightly as you shudder. “I don’t want to be a failure.”

“You’re not,” he says, but he knows it doesn’t help. “Don’t give up just because of one little
roadblock — you’re strong, I know you are.”

Eren holds you still in his lap, rubbing comforting circles into your back as you try to pretend
like you’re not crying in his arms. “Is there anything I can do to help?” he asks, kissing your
shoulder gently.

You whine wordlessly and curl your hands into tight fists against his back. “I don’t know. I
just want to stop feeling worthless.”

“Yo, dude,” Floch interrupts from his seat on the other bed, eyes wide as he looks down at his
phone. “Check out this bitch I just matched with on Tinder.”

He leans across the gap between the two beds, holding his phone out to Eren who takes it
from his hand. Eren holds the phone behind your back, resting his chin on your shoulder as
he scrolls through photos.

“She’s hot, dude, nice one.” Eren hums, reaching his arm back over to return the phone to
Floch.

“I’m gonna see if she’s down to fuck,” Floch says, typing furiously on his phone. “Been a
while since I’ve gotten my dick sucked.”

“Can’t relate,” Eren says and the two boys break into laughter. You stiffen in Eren’s grasp but
don’t say a word.

Floch whistles, eyebrows raising in amusement as he looks down at his phone. “Holy shit, I
hardly had to say anything and she’s already sending me nudes.”

“You sure she’s not a bot?”

“Nah, these are some natural tits, not that fake shit.” Floch leans over with the phone again
and Eren takes a cursory peak before nodding in approval. “I’ll see if she can come pick me
up and if this slut knows any good parking lots she can suck me off in.”

Eren laughs again with Floch and this time you raise your head from his shoulder to frown at
him. “What?” Eren asks, noticing your scrunched brows.

“You guys are gross,” you say quietly with a small shake of your head. “Is that really how
you talk about people?”

Floch scoffs and rolls his eyes before Eren can respond. “Don’t get all high and mighty just
because you’re Eren’s slam piece of the week — you’re just another slut, too.”
“Easy,” Eren snaps, turning quickly to look over at Floch and raising a hand threateningly.
“Don’t talk to her like that.”

Alarmed, Floch raises his hands in surrender but says nothing. His phone buzzes in his hand
and he looks over at it to read the message, a sly grin growing across his face. “Shit, she’s on
her way. I love loose women.”

Floch sits up from the bed and starts to gather his things under your and Eren’s watchful
gaze. He rummages through his bag for a few condoms that he sticks in his jacket pocket
before he heads out of the room. “See you guys!” he calls, just as the door shuts behind him.

Your head is still raised from Eren’s shoulder and Eren can practically feel you glaring at
him, so he takes his time letting his gaze travel back from the door to your face. “What?”

“Do you guys talk about me like that?”

“Never,” Eren says sternly, lifting his hands from around your waist to cup your face, but you
swat him away. “Hey, come on, it’s just locker room talk, all guys do it.”

“Really?” you ask, rolling your eyes. “I’ve never heard Jean and Connie say things like
that.”

“Of course, they’re not going to say it to you,” Eren says, but he can feel his skin burning
with heat as struggles to defend himself. “It’s just a guy thing. We don’t mean it.”

“Sure,” you say, clicking your tongue and shifting slightly in his lap.

"I didn't even say anything," Eren says, bristling. "That was all Floch."

"Yeah, but you tolerated it. That makes me think that you're used to that kind of language."

“Come on,” Eren groans, resting his hands on your hips and trying to nudge his face into
your line of sight when you turn your head away. “What do you want me to say?”

“Not stuff like that,” you say, tone harsh like you’re scolding him. “It’s gross to talk about
people like that… and you’re making fun of that girl for the same stuff that you’re doing.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve probably slept around with half the students at Paradis University,” you say, finally
shifting your eyes back to Eren and he almost cowers under the intensity of your glare. “Why
is she the Slut and you’re the Man?”

Eren realizes that anything he says to try to defend himself is just going to put him into a
deeper hole so he concedes. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t talk like that.”

“No, you shouldn’t.”

“I’ll try to be more thoughtful with the words I use,” he says, cautioning another look at your
face and then breathing a small sigh of relief when he sees your glare has softened. “I respect
women.”

Your face twists in disapproval as you look at him. “Your apology sounds really
disingenuous.”

“I said sorry!”

“Do you even realize why it’s bad to say stuff like that?” you challenge and he clams up.
“See?”

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” he whines, squeezing your hips a little tighter and
looking at you with a frown. He hates that you’re mad at him like this — it’s bad enough that
he can’t help you when you’re stressed out with work, but now he’s actively upsetting you.
“Just tell me what to say and I’ll say it,” he says, jutting out his lower lip in a small pout. “I’ll
change for you, baby, come on.”

You roll your eyes at him but he can see your stern expression start to fade. “You’re being
annoying,” you say, clicking your tongue.

“I’ll shut that shit down the next time Floch runs his mouth about someone,” Eren says,
sticking his lower lip out further into a comical puppy-dog pout. “I’ll remove all those words
from my dictionary: slut, bitch, whore — whatever, ok?”

He watches you nod slightly and he can’t help himself from leaning forward and brushing his
lips against your neck. Your body trembles against his and he can feel the goosebumps
growing on your skin. “Unless you want me to call you those things.”

“Eren!” you groan, shoving his chest and squirming away from him. He laughs and squeezes
you tighter when he sees you smiling.

“I’m joking, sorry,” he laughs, running his tongue across his teeth. “But I mean it, ok? I’ll be
better… for you.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” you huff, but you rest your hands on his shoulders again.

He can’t help but grin when he watches your annoyed expression finally melt away. Eren
can’t stop himself from leaning forward to kiss you, soft and slow as his hands slide up under
the bottom hem of your shirt to pull your body closer to his.

“I can’t believe you’re making out with me after being such a jackass,” you say in between
kisses and Eren chuckles.

“I can’t believe you’re letting me,” he says and he can feel your lips twitch upwards into a
smile when he presses forward again.

Eren loves this.

He loves holding you close against his chest like this. Feeling the warmth of your skin
through your shirt and your fingers pressing against the muscles on his back. He loves the
way you taste and how you lean in for more every time he pulls away, the way you whine and
squirm, and how even when you're mad you still want him. This reminds him of the other
morning when the two of you woke up together, how you just spent the morning twisted
around each other's bodies with your lips pressed against one another.

Eren slides his hands up your torso over your shirt, sprawling his fingers into each of the gaps
in your ribs and feeling his chest lurch with the thought of how perfectly the two of you slot
together. He wishes he could freeze time and live in this moment forever.

The kisses grow more and more heated and although this is enough for him, he can tell you
want more. Your nails start to dig into his back, hips rocking back and forth in his lap, and
when he feels your hands shift down his back towards the hem of your shirt, he pulls back.

Eren's certain the look of shock on your face mirrors his own as he stares at you dumbly.
"What?" you ask.

"I —"

Attempting to communicate the idea of just kissing without sex is really foreign to him,
especially when he's usually the one to initiate sexual contact with you. His eyes dart down
towards the mattress, suddenly embarrassed, and he feels small under your gaze.

"It's ok," you assure him and he cautions a glance back up at your face. "I'm not mad at you
anymore — well, a little, but... I believe you."

Eren nods, like your assumptions are correct and that's exactly why he's hesitating. "Right, ok
— good," and he leans back in before he can let himself dwell on the way his heart twists.

He holds you tight against his chest in an effort to savour this moment before it devolves, but
you're impatient and horny and you push him away enough to pull your shirt up and over
your head.

"I'm not sure when Floch will be back," he says, but his words contradict his actions as he
reaches forward to cup your breasts in his hands, squeezing the soft flesh and running his
thumbs over your nipples until they grow hard.

"I need you," you say and like a switch has been flipped in his brain, every other thought in
his head dissipates immediately as he registers the thick lust and desire in your voice. His
mind fills only with thoughts of You. Things he could do to you, ways he could please you,
places he could touch you — and he concedes.

"Take off your shorts," he commands, and he watches how your eyes light up in excitement.

You climb off his lap enough to tug your shorts off of your hips, kicking them off of the side
of the bed to join your discarded shirt from earlier, leaving you bare before him. You move to
climb back into his lap, but he hooks his arm around your waist and twists you both until
your back is laying firmly on the bed with Eren towering above you.

"You're so... fucking hot," he says, the words coming out in a breathless whisper as his eyes
trail down your body. "You make me crazy."
You raise your hands to wrap around his back before gently dragging your nails down the
thick muscle and Eren can feel the trail of goosebumps that your touch leaves behind. Eren
ducks his head, pressing kisses along your jaw and down the side of your neck, sinking his
teeth into that one spot that he knows makes your toes curl — and they do.

"Eren," you whimper and he pulls away enough to admire the soft imprints of his teeth on
your skin before moving lower.

He presses hot, open-mouthed kisses along your entire body as you squirm beneath him. You
tangle your fingers in his hair and give him gentle tugs, guiding him towards your nipples
and then down low between your thighs. He laughs at your desperation but lets you lead him
all the same, directing his mouth exactly where you want it most.

Eren starts with small kitten licks on the hood of your clit and the whimpering sound you
make above him makes his cock throb against his thigh. He can feel his tip growing wet and
sticky as you twist your fingers around the dark locks of his hair, tugging rougher and all but
pressing his face against you.

He's not sure which set of your lips tastes sweeter as he slides his tongue up through your
folds. You whimper and twitch when he ghosts his tongue across your clit before diving back
down to taste more of you. Your legs try to squeeze closed around his head but he keeps you
spread open for him with his large, sturdy hands pressed against your thighs.

His eyes dart up to look at you on the bed and he almost grins at the sight — he'll never get
tired of seeing you blissed out and panting like this from him.

When your breathing starts to stutter, he lets his eyes flutter shut as he concentrates on
maintaining the same steady rhythm of his tongue flicking against your clit, chin dragging
across your slit and growing wet from your arousal as you pull at his hair tighter.

"Eren," you whimper, "I'm really close."

Oh, he knows — you don't need to tell him — but he appreciates the warning.

Your breath hitches in your throat right before you cum and then you're moaning and
twitching against him, legs trembling on either side of his head as he feels your muscles tense
and shudder from your climax. He grunts against your skin, pressing his face harder into you
as he laps at your dripping entrance, only pulling away once your tight grip on his hair
subsides.

He contemplates staying down here and doing this all night, but it's been too long since the
last time you fucked and his cock aches for the warmth of your cunt. So, he sits up on his
knees between your thighs and tugs his bottoms off completely while he watches your chest
heave as you try to catch your breath.

"You're so good at that," you hum, eyes closed as you pant, and your compliment has heat
flooding to Eren's cheeks.
Eren doesn't respond. He leans forward to rest his palms on either side of your head and your
legs wrap around his waist almost instinctively. He smiles down at your face, waiting for
your eyes to flutter open before he leans in to kiss you.

These are the lips he loves the most, he decides.

Your hands slide between your two bodies to grip him firmly around the base of his cock. He
grunts from the contact, hips thrusting shallowly against your hand as you guide him to your
entrance.

He pulls away. "Are you sure?" he asks, and he's not sure why.

"Yes?" you look up at him, bewildered.

Eren doesn't bother to stammer through a response, he just leans forward with his face and
his hips so your lips touch just as his cock slides into you.

"Fuck," you groan into his mouth, pussy squeezing hard around his length as he pushes into
you. “That feels really good,” you add when Eren pulls back.

“Yeah, I bet it does,” he says, voice low and gruff.

He sits back up onto his knees, gripping your hips tightly as he slowly ruts against you,
watching the way you squirm and grip at the sheets.

Eren makes agonizingly slow movements against you, pulling out until just the head of his
cock is nestled inside of you, before slowly plunging himself into the hilt. You’re whining
and whimpering for him to move faster — to fuck you harder — but he maintains his
painfully slow pace.

“Eren, you feel so good — please,” you beg, head thrown back against the pillows. “Fuck me
— I want you to ruin me.”

Your choice of words has Eren’s stomach twisting in his gut, but he plays it off with a laugh.
“Ruin you?” he asks, taunting. “You want my dick to ruin this sweet little pussy? After
everything she’s done for me?”

He reaches down with one hand and swirls slow, lazy circles around your swollen, aching
clit. You try to buck your hips against his hand for more stimulation, but his grip on your hip
is firm.

“This pretty little pussy is so good to me,” he grunts. “Makes me cum so fucking hard, baby
— why would I want to ruin her?”

“Eren — please, please, Eren —”

“You’re so tight around my cock,” he says, letting his eyes fall closed as he enjoys the feeling
of you squeezing around him. “So wet for me, baby — God, I fucking love this pussy.”

“Eren!”
“I love fucking this pussy,” he grunts, pulling his hips back just to snap forward into you. You
cry out from the feeling of him deep inside of you, eager for more. “I love making you cum
so hard for me — until you’re shaking and drooling, isn’t that right, baby?”

He opens his eyes, looming over your face as you look up at him in a fucked-out haze. You
whimper in response and he wonders if you even have any thoughts up inside your head right
now or if you’re just so focused on the drag of his thick cock against your pussy and the press
of his fingers on your clit.

He starts to build up speed, fucking you a little harder and a little faster. Your clench your
eyes shut from the feeling of him pounding into your hips, breathing heavily as your orgasm
builds like a rocket in your gut.

“Wanna cum so bad, huh?” he teases, but he keeps his pace as you squirm below him. “God,
you’re fucking soaked, I can barely feel anything.”

He removes his hand from your clit and pulls out from inside of you, causing your eyes to fly
open with a whine. He settles on his back on the bed beside you while you look over at him
with a huff.

“Well, come on,” he says, giving his dick a few slow, long strokes, using the built-up slick
from your arousal. “If you wanna cum so bad, let me see you work for it.”

Angry, you flip over on top of him, planting your feet on either side of his hips. You reach
down between your bodies and waste no time sliding him back inside of you before resting
your hands behind you on his thighs.

He groans in approval of the sight in front of him — your legs sprawled open allowing him to
watch your pussy swallow his cock with every bounce of your hips. When you lean your
head back in ecstasy from the drag of his cock inside of you, he watches with amazement as
your breasts bounce in time with your hips.

“What a fucking view,” he groans, grabbing a pillow from behind him to elevate his head so
he can really appreciate the sight you’re giving him.

He grips the backs of your thighs hard, helping lift you up and down along his length as you
bounce on his cock and — holy fuck, Eren doesn’t think he’s ever seen anything hotter.

“There,” he grunts, fucking into the tight fit of your pussy despite your sprawled-open thighs.
“That’s better, isn’t it?”

You’re just babbling incoherently at this point as Eren pounds his cock directly against your
sweet spot, hands digging into your thighs as he helps lift your hips up and then slams them
back down against his. You’re making a mess of his lap from the slick on your thighs as you
ride him, the sounds of skin slapping against skin and your frantic breathing filling the room.

“Tell me how it feels,” he says, voice tight. “Tell me how my dick feels.”
“So fucking good, Eren — so fucking good, baby — please don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop
—”

The words fall out of your mouth all at once, hands clutching his thighs tightly as you let
your head hang back behind you, losing yourself in the sensation as he starts to fuck up into
you.

“Eren, right there — right fucking there — please please please —”

He moans loudly as his hips snap against you, fucking himself as deep as he can inside of
you against the tightness of your pussy. He’s addicted to the sight of your pussy clinging
around his length and the way you’re coating him in milky white until it pools around the
base of his cock. You’re getting so wet and tight around him, he knows you’re on the edge,
nails digging hard against his skin as you cry out in pleasure.

“Yeah, baby, come on — mark me up — show everyone I belong to you,” Eren groans. He
clenches his eyes shut and throws his head back, fucking you harder as he feels his own peak
coming. “I can’t control myself around you,” he admits through frantic breaths. “I want you
all the time — all the fucking time, baby, you have no idea — fuck, I need you — I need you.”
His admission falls on deaf ears, you’re too fucked out to even know what’s going on as his
hips move against yours.

Eren’s grip shifts from under your thighs to around your waist, pulling and pulling you until
you’re laying on his chest. “Fuck, baby,” he growls, face buried in your neck. “I — I fucking
— I fucking lo—” He has to literally bite his tongue with a loud groan to stop the words from
spilling out of his mouth.

Where the fuck did that come from?

He can’t say that, he can’t say that, he’s never said that.

Eren tries not to think about it — he’s just so fucked out from the way you feel wrapped
around his dick. He doesn’t mean it, it’s just something that slipped out. He hopes to God you
didn’t hear him.

Instead, Eren’s voice becomes whiny and desperate as his hips pound against you, he’s so
fucking close but he needs you there with him. He focuses on the way your body feels
pressed against his and how your nails are raking into his arms as you whimper in his ear.

“Cum for me, please,” he begs, just a breathless pant. “I wanna feel you cum when I fill this
pussy up — please, baby, please.”

Your body trembles and shakes above him, moans spilling from your mouth uncontrollably as
your pussy flutters around his length. Eren follows immediately after with a deep and throaty
groan, his pace turning erratic as he struggles to fuck you through his orgasm.

If not for Eren's strong grip on you, he knows you would completely fall limp against the
mattress as the final shockwaves of your pleasure course through you. Eren doesn’t stop until
his cock becomes too sensitive for more, desperate to fuck his cum deep inside of you, each
thrust painting his cock white from the mixture of your release.

You roll off his chest to the bed beside him, his cock slipping out from between your thighs
along with some of the wet, sticky mess inside of you. Both of you are breathing hard with
your eyes closed as the buzzing in your bodies subsides.

Once he’s caught his breath, Eren steps away from you and heads into the bathroom. His
hands are shaking as he runs them both through his loose hair and he breathes out an
unsteady sigh.

What the fuck was that?

Eren doesn’t let himself think about it. He thinks about anything but the way his heart twists
when he’s with you, the way his smile feels a little brighter, the way his skin craves your
touch.

It’s just the post-orgasmic bliss he decides, and the wipes all other thoughts out of his head.

Eren runs one hand across his face while he reaches forward with the other, fiddling with the
knobs on the tub and plugging the drain as he starts to draw up a bath. His heart is beating so
hard that he can feel his pulse in his fingertips. He stays crouched in the bathroom, testing the
temperature of the water with one hand while he lets the sweat cool on his naked body.

He doesn’t come out of the bathroom until the tub is full and his heart rate is back to normal.
When he turns the corner, he sees you sitting up on the bed with wide, questioning eyes, and
he feels his heart lurch back into his throat.

“What are you doing?”

“I was just running you a little bath so you could rest,” he says. Even with his tanned skin,
you can see that his cheeks are still dark red — from his orgasm, you think. Eren approaches
you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you in close. You nuzzle your face
against his neck before kissing his cheek.

“That’s very sweet of you.”

He helps you up from the bed and walks you over to the tub. Although you’re able to stand,
your legs are still a little shaky and unsteady from earlier.

Eren helps you sit down in the tub, but he stays outside, just watching you get comfortable
amongst the bubbles as he pulls his underwear back on. You notice when you submerge your
body that the water smells like Eren’s familiar vanilla cologne. Despite yourself, you feel a
heavy aching between your thighs at the scent.

“I’m going to go clean up a bit before Floch gets back,” he says, brushing away the sweaty
hair from your forehead. “Why don’t you relax for a bit?”

“You don’t want to join me?” you mean to sound seductive, but it comes out sad and whiny
instead. You clear your throat immediately afterward.
Eren smiles, his eyes crinkling. “Baby, I would love to join you, but the room smells like sex
and our clothes are all over the place outside. I need to go open a window or something.”

You laugh, reaching forward to grab at his arm, squeezing his bicep gently. “Ok, fine. Hurry
back.”

By the time Eren finishes cleaning up the room, Floch returns. You had fallen asleep in the
bath, exhausted from the sex, but wake up when you hear Eren and Floch chatting outside.
You sink deeper into the bath, covering your breasts in the water. Did he have to come back
so soon? You wanted more alone time with Eren.

Even through the door of the bathroom, you can clearly hear Floch telling Eren all about the
girl he just met up with.

“You should’ve seen her — biggest tits I’ve ever seen and that fucking ass! Jesus Christ, that
bitch was born to fuck.”

“Hey, don’t say shit like that.”

“Huh?”

“It’s disrespectful, dude. Don’t be an asshole.”

“Why are you being all weird about this?”

“If that girl’s willing to lower her standards enough to fuck you, the least you could do is
show her some respect.”

Eren’s scolding makes you giggle in the tub, wiggling your toes in happiness, but you say
nothing when he returns to the bathroom. He’s dressed in his plaid pyjama pants from the
night before and a black wife beater, you can see red marks on his arms from where you were
grabbing him earlier and it makes you blush.

He closes the door behind him and squats down on the ground next to the tub. “Hey, you
ready to get out? We should go to sleep.”

You pout at him, “I thought you were going to join me.”

Eren’s eyes trail from your eyes to your mouth. “Next time,” he says quietly before leaning
forward to press his lips against yours. His kiss is soft and tender and leaves you wanting
more when he moves away. “I brought you your clothes so you can change before you get
out.”

“Thanks,” you say, smiling appreciatively. “Hey, Eren?”

He’s still leaning in close over the rim of the tub and his eyes light up when you say his
name.

“Thanks,” you say again, looking down at the bubbles in the tub. “You’ve been a really good
friend during this whole PIP thing. You’ve made it a lot easier to deal with.”
 “Of course,” he says with a scoff, but he turns his face away and fingers the water near your
knees. “I’m just trying to be good to you.”

“I’m sorry if I’m acting too girlfriend-y with you.”

You’ve been meaning to apologize for a while. Eren has repeatedly reminded you throughout
these past few months that there’s a firm boundary in your relationship, so you want to make
it clear to him that you understand.

You know you aren’t going to be able to come to Eren if you have another bad day after this
weekend. If the two of you aren’t sleeping together, you doubt he’ll even want to give you the
time of day. He’ll probably be happy to hear that he can go back to his old ways again
without being chained down to you for this childish plan.

“It’s ok,” Eren says quickly, looking back up at you. “I don’t mind.”

You hum in response, still lost in your thoughts as you watch Eren flick at the water. You
know you should tell him about your plan with Jean this weekend, but part of you wants to
hold on to what you have with Eren for as long as possible. You know it's silly, but you can't
help yourself — you've grown attached.

“I didn’t mean any of that shit I said, by the way,” he says suddenly and you look over at him
with furrowed brows. “I was just saying shit in the heat of the moment. I was all fucked out.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The stuff — you know what, never mind.” Eren presses his lips into a tight, thin line as he
hangs his head forward. He seems almost dejected.

“I’m going to spend the weekend with Jean at his parent’s house,” you say and Eren turns his
face away from you. “I’ll be back on Sunday.”

“Are you gonna tell him you love him?” Eren scoffs but his voice sounds strange.

“I don’t know,” you say. You reach your hand forward, gently grabbing the tips of Eren’s
fingers in the water. “Do you think I should?”

Eren wiggles his fingers in your grasp and you watch his shoulders rise and fall with his
breath.

“I don’t care,” he says finally, still turned away.

Right, of course, he doesn’t care. You feel stupid for asking. You don’t know what you
expected him to say, but your heart feels a little heavier in your chest when he pulls his
fingers away.

Chapter End Notes

I'm so happy to see more Team Jean fans coming out of the woodwork these past few
chapters!! Thank you Team Jean for your patience and your tolerance during these past
few months lol I know the Jean/Reader relationship has been very frustrating.

Also, thank you Team Eren for your passion and your intensity! It's also really cool that
my story is able to foster such a huge attachment to the Reader/Eren relationship.

Also some fun news!

I have about 50k words in "deleted scenes" from this story. So instead of just letting
them sit in my drafts forever, I've decided I'm going to share them with you guys 😊 All
of these scenes were deleted for a reason, so they're considered not part of this story, so
any details or things that the characters say do not reflect their attitudes in this fic. I'll
post something here and there, depending on the length and where we are in the story.
They won't be edited so they might be a little messy and disjointed but I'll try to provide
relevant context where needed. I'll post them on Tumblr and then put a link here on AO3
each week. You will need a Tumblr account to view mature content
(sex/drugs/violence), but you don't need to follow me

I'm not sure if this is completely self-indulgent and nobody cares lol but I honestly love
this story so much so I will take any opportunity to geek out about it even if there's only
one person that's interested.

Thank you again to everyone for all of the support and comments!! I love you all 💗
 Mrs. Kirstein
Chapter Notes

cw: Explicit language, sexual content

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Friday

You know Jean’s family is rich, even though he tries to hide it. But when you exit the hotel
with him to find a lifted SUV with tinted windows waiting for you outside, you can’t stop
your jaw from dropping. “Is this our ride?” you ask in disbelief.

You can see the back of his neck turning pink as you trail behind him. “Yeah, sorry. My
mom… she just wants to make sure we get there safely.” He hands his bag to the waiting
driver and motions for you to do the same. The driver grabs both and takes them to the trunk
while Jean opens the back door to get inside.

“Safe from what? Are we going to be assassinated?”

Jean laughs, eyes crinkling as you crawl into the car behind him, surrounded by leather seats
and a wood-paneled interior. “You can never be too careful.”

“You lead a mysterious life, Jean Kirstein.”

He just glances over at you with a smirk as the driver pulls out of the hotel parking lot. You
look away from him, blushing.

The two of you have been friends for years and you’ve been in love with him for just as long,
but you’ve never felt so nervous like this around him before. The energy in the car is weird.
All due to a combination of the awkward moment from the other night and the kiss you
shared over the weekend. As much as you’re dreading talking to Jean about your feelings,
you’re looking forward to clearing the air so you don’t have to feel so fucking uncomfortable
around him anymore.

You squirm in your seat, tucking your hands under your thighs. “So, what does your mom
do? I don’t think you’ve ever said.”

Jean waves his hand in dismissal. “She stays at home and takes care of the house.”

“How domestic.”

“Hey, that’s my mom,” he scolds, but his tone is light. “She used to work for a bakery when
her and my dad first met, and she stuck with it after they got married, but a few years back
when she got sick she had to quit. She’s really into cooking and gardening right now.” He
pulls his phone out of his pocket, thumbing through it until he pulls open a picture, “She’s
been sending me pictures all week of the flowers she’s been growing — here, look.”

He holds his phone out for you to look at, but it’s still relatively close to his chest. You have
to lean to the side, shoulder almost resting on his, to see the picture. “Wow, it’s lovely,” you
say, catching the faint scent of Jean’s light citrus cologne.

Jean thumbs through a few more pictures and you ooh and ahh at every one. “Wait until you
meet her, she’s going to love you.”

“Yeah? Did you already tell her all about me?”

“Everything.” You blush and move away from him, settling back into your own seat. “I’m
glad Petra let us take the weekend off. Things were looking a little dicey there for a minute,"
he adds. Jean reaches across the space between your two seats and rests his hand on your
knee, he lets it linger there for a moment before giving you a soft squeeze and pulling away.

Your talk with Petra yesterday was ominous, but thanks to a concerted effort between the
three junior staff today, you were able to get the file to an acceptable state so she would let
you take the weekend off.

But, you think she just feels bad for you all because Oluo promised the consultants the
weekend off. Not one to be outdone, she followed suit, despite her grimace during her
announcement. You’re curious how this will affect the job when you get back.

After packing your things back at the hotel, you made sure to take the time to talk to Pieck
before leaving. You had asked her to keep an eye on Reiner while you and Jean were gone
this weekend. Despite your disagreements, you and Pieck were on the same side when it
came to Reiner’s mental health. It feels weird leaving him behind after your emotional
conversation from Wednesday, but Jean didn’t extend him an invitation — it's not really your
place to invite Reiner over to Jean’s family home.

You pointedly avoided talking to Eren all day after you left his room in the morning and
you've had this sick, sinking feeling in your stomach ever since. You haven't been able to
make eye contact with him all day — it almost feels like the two of you have broken up, even
though you haven't quite had that conversation with him, yet. You keep telling yourself that
this doesn't mean anything to Eren and it's not going to be a big deal, but for you — it doesn't
feel that way.

When you drive through the gated entrance to the Kirstein property, you catch eyes with Jean.

“What?” he mumbles, covering his mouth with his hand to hide his smile.

“You have a fucking gated entrance?”

“Oh, that old thing?”

Even though it’s dark already, you still marvel at the size of Jean’s estate. Your experience in
Trost so far has been fairly modest, so it’s especially shocking when the driver takes you up a
long, winding driveway to a large mansion.

“I’m surprised there’s no butler waiting at the front door for us,” you tease, looking over at
Jean.

“It’s his night off,” Jean says with a shrug, and you’re unsure if he’s teasing you back.

When the car rolls to a stop in front of the main entrance, you watch as the front doors swing
open to reveal a short, stout woman who’s practically jumping for joy as Jean steps out of the
vehicle.

“Jean-boy!” she squeals, running forward to grab Jean into a hug. He bends down to allow
her to wrap her arms around his neck, holding her close against him.

“Hi, Ma,” he says with a soft smile. It’s cute. He leans away from his mom and gestures to
you, “And this is —”

“Oh, I know, I know,” she says, waving him off to wrap you into a tight hug. “Jean-boy’s told
me all about you! You’re just as beautiful as he said you were!”

“Ma!”

Your face burns hot in embarrassment as you return her tight hug. “It’s so nice to meet you,
Mrs. Kirstein.”

“Oh, so polite!” she says, pulling away and stepping back to look at Jean with glee. She still
has that bright grin plastered across her face and you notice that Jean is red and flustered.
“Please, call me Marie.”

“Ok, hi, Marie,” you say with a laugh.

Jean’s mom is vastly different than you expect. The only similarity she has with Jean is her
brown hair and eyes, and the way they crinkle when she smiles. She’s dressed in a plain-
looking dress, her hair tied back into a tight ponytail. She radiates joy and positivity as she
glances between the two of you.

“Have you two eaten already?” she asks, reaching out to pinch Jean’s stomach through his t-
shirt, earning a sharp Ma! as he jumps back. “You’re withering away to nothing, Jean-boy!”

“Yes, Ma, we had some food back at the office,” he says, throwing an arm around your
shoulder and pulling you close. He squeezes your arm as he holds you tight against his body
and you look up at him curiously, but he keeps his gaze fixed on his mom as they speak. It
almost seems like a nervous gesture, rather than an affectionate one — like he's trying to
calm himself down by holding you close.

While the two chat, the driver grabs your bags from the back of the car, setting them down on
the steps near Marie before driving off. You look back at the vehicle curiously, wondering
where he’s going, but neither Jean nor Marie makes any mention of it.
“I’m so sorry, we must be boring you to death,” Marie says, turning back towards you and
grabbing both of your hands. “Come inside, I made some tea.” You nod in excitement, letting
Jean lead you up the stairs after Marie and into their home. “Your father said he’ll be by
tomorrow for dinner,” she says from over her shoulder, like it’s an afterthought.

You feel Jean stiffen next to you, “Oh?”

Marie doesn’t say anything, but you feel the air between them has changed. You know there
is tension between Jean and his father, but you keep all of your questions to yourself as Jean’s
jaw tightens.

Jean stays close to you until you all enter the dining room. It’s surprisingly modest, you
notice, but you assume that there’s probably another, more grand, dining room in another part
of the house. Jean leads you to your chair, pulling it out for you to sit in before walking
around to the other side of the table to sit across from you. Marie putters around with a small
tea kettle, pouring the steaming drink into each of your cups before settling at the head of the
table, fiddling awkwardly with her napkin.

“He’s been away on a business trip the past few weeks,” she explains, eyes cast down toward
her cup. “It’s nice that your visit coincided with his return.”

“Yeah,” he says, giving his cup a cooling blow before taking a small sip, “Real nice.”

“Jean-boy, don’t be rude in front of our guest,” Marie scolds, eyes darting up to your face
apologetically.

Jean shrugs in response and rolls his eyes, but he keeps his mouth shut. He reaches across the
table with one hand, palm facing upwards, and glances over at you expectantly. When you
meet his gaze, you furrow your brows at him, unsure of what he wants and he just nods
toward his hand.

You look over at Marie, who's focused on adding sweetener to her tea, before looking back at
Jean. He wiggles his fingers at you.

You shake your head slightly, biting back a smile as you lift you hand from your lap to rest on
Jean's. He instantly beams, squeezing your hand gently in his. When Marie turns back to look
up at the two of you, you move to jerk your hand back, but Jean's grip holds you in place.
You try to shoot him a questioning look, but his attention is back on his mom.

You don't mind touching Jean like this — of course not, you do this all the time — but it feels
strange to be affectionate like this in front of his mom.

“How is work going for the two of you?” she asks, trying to relieve some of the tension after
her previous comment. “Are things going well?”

“It’s ok,” Jean says with a shrug, rubbing the back of his neck with his other hand. “I’ve been
working really closely with my boss on this most recent job, which has been nice, but I think
she’s just trying to parade me around to the client.”
“Because of your name?” you ask, brows furrowed. This is the first time you’re hearing of
this — you know Jean was worried that that was what the managers were doing with him on
their special jobs back home, but you didn’t know it was happening here in Trost, too.

He nods, giving your hand another gentle squeeze. “Yeah, practically everyone at the office
knows who I am because of Dad, so… everyone’s been very cooperative.”

“You should be proud of your name, Jean-boy!” Marie scolds, tsking as she wags her finger
at him. “The Kirstein name will open doors for you.”

“I wanna open my own doors,” he grumbles, sulking in his chair like a little child.

“How are things going for you?” Marie asks, turning to look at you. “Has my Jean-boy been
good? Treating you properly?”

“Ma!”

You laugh as Jean blushes, scrunching his face and keeping his eyes low. “Yeah, Jean has
been really good to work with these past few months. I’m lucky to have him around.”

Marie beams, glancing between you and Jean, who’s still sulking in his chair. “And the two
of you live together as well, correct?”

You nod, taking a sip of your drink before adding, “The two of us and Connie and Sasha.”

“How are those two doing? I haven’t seen them since…” She purses her lips in thought,
looking up to the ceiling before returning her gaze to Jean. “Gosh, I can’t even remember the
last time I saw those two. You never bring your friends over anymore,” Marie pouts, topping
up her cup with more tea. “I miss seeing you and the others having fun at the house.”

Jean scoffs and rolls his eyes, but he can’t contain the smile that crosses his face. “Ma, we’re
not kids anymore.”

“I know. You grew up so fast,” she says, sniffling.

“Ma!” Jean says, alarmed. “Don’t start crying, please.”

“I’m not, I’m not!” she assures, but she brings her napkin up to dab at the corners of her eyes
all the same as Jean groans in frustration.

You can’t help but grin in amusement over the edge of your cup as you watch Jean and his
mother interact. Jean’s always been a hothead around you and the rest of the Core Four, so
it’s interesting to see a little more subdued version of himself around his mom. At his core,
he’s still the same Jean you’ve grown to love, but you can see the warmth and affection
radiating off of him as he talks with his mom — even when he tries to pretend like he’s
annoyed.

Marie continues to ask you both questions about work until the kettle is empty and Jean is
yawning in his chair, slumped deeper into it with his arms outstretched on the table, one hand
still firmly holding yours.
“Jean-boy, sit up straight,” she scolds, noticing his poor posture. “Why don’t you go clean up
and get ready for bed? I’d like a chance to talk to your friend.”

“Ma, leave her alone,” Jean whines, sitting up in his seat and it's only then that he finally lets
go of your hand. “Don’t feel obligated to stick around if you want to go to bed,” he says,
turning to you, his tone returning to normal. “I know it’s late, you probably want to sleep.”

You shake your head, looking between Jean and his mom. “No, I’m fine. I don’t mind talking
with your mom for a bit.”

Jean makes a face, looking over at his mom as he stands up. “Please don’t embarrass me,” he
says. “I’ll come get you after I’m done with my shower,” he says to you before finishing his
cup of tea and walking out of the dining room.

You watch Jean as he leaves, admiring his wide, broad shoulders and how his muscles move
beneath the thin fabric of his shirt. You can’t help yourself from ogling, even knowing that
Jean’s mom is sitting across the table from you.

When you dart your eyes back to Marie to return to the conversation, you’re surprised to see
her softly smiling at you and there’s a small glint in her eye that you can’t quite read —
almost like she knows something you don’t.

“My Jean-boy doesn’t bring home many girls,” Marie says, leaning forward over the table to
speak quietly to you. “It’s so nice to meet you, he always has such lovely things to say about
you.”

You blush, looking down into your lap. “Oh, really? That’s so sweet.”

“It’s nice to see he’s made such a close-knit group of friends,” she says with a sigh, leaning
back. “I always used to worry about him because he struggled so much to make friends as a
child.”

You perk up, interested in hearing more about Jean’s past. “Oh, really? He’s so easy to be
friends with.”

During your trips with the Core Four, you’ve learned bits and pieces of everyone’s lives and
personalities before meeting you, except for Jean. You know every embarrassing story and
fuck up from Connie’s life and you know every detail about Sasha’s family, but you know
next to nothing about Jean. He keeps his past close to his chest, he doesn’t even let Sasha or
Connie share any stories with you, so you’re eager for the opportunity to know more from
Marie.

Despite how close the two of you are, Jean has always felt like a big mystery that you're
eager to crack. You want to know what he was like growing up, you want to know about his
family, and you want to know what happened between him and Eren.

“He wasn’t always like that,” Marie says with a sad sigh. “My Jean-boy was so sweet
growing up. He was an adorable little boy with such a voracious appetite,” she smiles
wistfully at the memory, “But other children can be so cruel to kids who look… different.
“He was teased so much by the other kids at school growing up. It broke my heart to see him
crying every day when he came home,” she frowns down at the table, eyes watering as she
grips the napkin. “I think the cruelty he experienced as a child is the reason why he lashed out
so much when he became older.”

“That’s so sad to hear,” you say, leaning forward to rest your hand on Marie’s forearm.
“Children can be mean.”

She nods, looking up at you. “My little Jean-boy grew like a beansprout when he hit puberty.
All the food and snacks that helped him grow wider as a child helped him grow taller as a
teen,” she laughs. “And look at him now! I’ve never seen anyone so tall.”

You laugh, nodding in agreement.

“Jean-boy turned into quite the troublemaker after his growth spurt in high school… there
were many times that I was called into the school to pick him up after he picked a fight with
another child.”

Sasha and Connie have both mentioned in the past that Jean was a bully, but you never
believed them. Hearing the same now from his mother causes you to frown in confusion.
Jean could be mean sometimes, but you never thought he was actually capable of being a
bully. That’s not the Jean you know. The Jean you know is caring and considerate, albeit a
little clueless sometimes.

“He denies it, but I think he wanted attention,” she says with a shrug. “It’s funny, the one boy
that my Jean-boy picked on the most in school ended up becoming one of his close friends.”

“Connie?” you ask, head tilting.

“No, no. There was another boy… what was his name again?” she purses her lips in thought,
tapping the table with her finger until the realization crosses her face. “Arlert! That sweet
little blonde boy. He was close friends with the Jaeger boy, and my Jean-boy often got in
fights with him after picking on Arlert — Armond? I can't remember his name.”

Armin and Eren, you realize.

“My Jean-boy really turned things around after becoming friends with the Jaeger boy,” Marie
continues. “And especially in university when the two of them joined the hockey team
together. Getting serious with sports and the community involvement that came with it did
wonders in changing his attitude.”

You nod in understanding. “I did quite a bit of community involvement when I was in
university, too.”

“Oh, really! What did you do?”

You look down at your hands, a little embarrassed as you explain. “I worked for a local cafe
when I was in school and they did a lot of work with this mentoring program for kids.” You
offer a bashful shrug when you look up to see Marie looking at your adoringly. “We would
meet up with the kids from the program every week or so and just do normal things with
them like go see a movie, do homework… or whatever, you know? It was never enough for
those kids that didn’t have much growing up, but… it was something.”

“That’s so sweet,” she says, clasping her hands over her heart.

“Eren — the Jaeger boy — and Jean used to be really good friends in highschool, right?” you
ask, eager to learn more about their relationship.

Marie hums in response. “Those two fought almost every single day, but they still remained
the best of friends throughout school. Eren was always over at the house, more so than any of
Jean-boy’s other friends. I always said, those boys were so similar they could’ve been
brothers — two sides of the same coin!”

You’re surprised by this. You knew Eren and Jean used to be friends, but you didn’t realize
how close they were or how far back their friendship went. And then somehow during
university, it deteriorated completely. Their relationship ended around the same time that you
became friends with the other members of the Core Four, so you missed a lot of the drama,
thankfully — but you're still really curious about what happened.

It doesn’t make sense to you. What could have caused their friendship to crumble so
suddenly?

"It's a shame those two boys aren't as close anymore," Marie sighs, as if she can hear your
thoughts. "They were good for each other. My Jean-boy can often lose himself in the details
and Eren was always able to help him focus back on what's important. Eren was..." she
laughs and shakes her head, as if remembering some long-distant memory, but she doesn't
continue.

Your curiosity gets the better of you and you find yourself asking, "Do you know why they
stopped being friends?"

"Pride," she tsks. "I've told my Jean-boy that he should forgive Eren, but he's just too
stubborn. From the sounds of it, Eren... could have handled things better, but my Jean-boy
knows that he needs to be patient with him. That boy has a good heart, he's just a little...
misguided."

Your eyes narrow, confused by Marie's response. "What did Eren do?" you ask, feeling your
chest tighten as you watch Marie take in a breath, but then Jean walks back into the room and
the two of you shrink back into your chairs as if caught.

“Do you want to shower?” he asks, still rubbing a small towel against his head to dry off his
wet hair.

“No, I’m ok. I’ll do it in the morning," you wave your hand in dismissal, and then tuck it into
your lap when you notice that it's shaking.

He nods, looking over at his mom. “It’s pretty late, we should go to bed.”
“Yes, yes, of course!” she says, raising her hands in defeat before sitting up from her chair.
She putters around the room, grabbing the stray cups on the table to haul back into the
kitchen. “I’ll make breakfast for you both in the morning — sleep well!”

“Thank you, goodnight!” you say, calling after her as she walks into the kitchen, balancing all
of the dishes precariously in her hands.

“Come on, let me show you to your room,” Jean says, jerking his head toward the door
before spinning on his heel and guiding you out.

He leads you up the large imperial staircase in the centre of the room with a giant crystal
(diamond? — you wouldn’t be surprised if it was,) chandelier hanging from the ceiling.
Everything in the foyer of his home appears to be made of marble, and it’s cold even through
your sock feet.

Jean takes the stairs two at a time as you struggle to keep up with him. He navigates through
the halls of his home expertly, despite the size. Meanwhile, you already feel lost after turning
down the second hallway.

“The guest room is right next to my bedroom,” he explains, stopping at one of the doors in
the hallway. “The bathroom is down there, my mom’s down there, too,” he gestures vaguely.

You nod, reaching forward for the doorknob, twisting it in your hand, and swinging the door
open to reveal your bedroom for the weekend.

It’s much nicer than your hotel room, but you were expecting that. It has a large queen-sized
bed with lavish blankets and pillows that almost look more like decorations than for actual
use. A huge window on the far wall overlooks the backyard, illuminating the room in soft
moonlight through the sheer curtains before you flick on the light switch.

You notice that your bag is sitting on the foot of your bed and you turn to Jean for an
explanation.

“I brought it in when I came up for my shower,” he explains with a lazy smile. “Do you need
any help settling in?”

“Settling in… to my bed?” you tease and Jean looks away with a huff, but you can see his
ears tinge pink. “I think I’ll be ok. Are you tired already?”

“Not really,” he confesses, looking back at you. “I just wanted to get you away from my
mom. Who knows what ridiculous stories she’d tell you unsupervised.”

You laugh, stepping inside your room and toward your bed. “Your mom is sweet, I like her.”

“Yeah,” he agrees, lingering in the doorway.

“You can come in,” you say, plopping down onto your back on the comfy bed and Jean walks
into your room, shutting the door behind him.
It only takes him a few long strides to reach the edge of the bed and he crawls onto it before
flopping down beside you. The force of his body hitting the mattress causes you to bounce
slightly and when it dips from his weight you slide closer to him.

“What do you think of the place?” he asks, gesturing vaguely to the room.

“Really fucking nice,” you scoff and he laughs. “I really wasn’t expecting your family to be
this rich.”

“The cabin didn’t tip you off?”

“Surprisingly, no,” you admit.

You fiddle with your fingers in your lap as you struggle to maintain eye contact with Jean.
Looking at him makes you feel shy, but you try to hold his gaze. “Your mom said you don’t
bring home girls often.”

He scoffs and rolls his eyes, running a hand through his wet hair slowly. “Well, you know
me, I haven’t really had a lot of serious girlfriends. The only girl I’ve ever brought over here
before you was Sasha.”

“You’ve had girlfriends, though.”

“But nothing serious,” he emphasizes, looking away from you.

“What about Pieck?” you press, even though you don’t want to know the answer. “You
seemed pretty serious about her and I know you guys have been talking a lot more since
we’ve been working together… is it bringing back any of those feelings?”

Jean seems surprised by your question, stiffening next to you. “Uh, I don’t know. I haven’t
really thought about it,” he says, awkward. “Why are you asking?”

“I’m just wondering if like… do you still have feelings for her?”

This time, it’s obvious that Jean is surprised by your question. “What? No.”

You hum in response, unconvinced. “The two of you just seem really close.”

This conversation is making your heart pound in your chest. Ordinarily, you’d just dance
around the subject or drop it immediately after Jean tried to dismiss it, but you’re determined
to get to the bottom of what’s going on between Jean and Pieck.

“Do you think you’d ever get back together with her?” you press.

“No, definitely not,” Jean says, and when you look over at him, his eyebrows are furrowed.
“I don’t like her, anymore. I haven’t for a really long time. I don’t know why you’re so
adamant that I have feelings for her.”

“You’re always flirting with each other,” you blurt out, suddenly feeling like you need to be
on the defensive under Jean’s gaze. “She’s always touching you and you’re always blushing
when you’re around her… It just seems obvious to me that you still have feelings for her.
Besides, you said you wanted to transfer to consulting, right?”

He laughs and shakes his head, letting it hang forward when he looks away from you. “I
didn't say that because of her.” Jean brushes the wet, loose strands of his hair back before
turning to look up at you again.

“Sasha told me…” you trail off a little, unsure whether or not you want to throw Sasha under
the bus like this, but Jean’s looking at you expectantly and you feel compelled to continue.
“Sasha told me that you were in love with her,” you say and you watch Jean’s face darken.
“She told me that you might want to get back together with her.”

Jean sucks in a sharp breath and darts his eyes away from your face. You can see the muscles
in his jaw twitching as he clenches his teeth before his eyes slide back to you. “I thought I
loved her,” he says, clicking his tongue in his mouth. “I realize now that I never did.”

You offer a hum in response and try to keep yourself busy with a stray thread on your shirt as
you feel your face burning in embarrassment.

“I’m not interested in getting back together with her anymore,” he says, voice slow and
calm.

You shrug, pressing your lips into a tight thin line. You still don’t entirely believe him, after
the way he’s been acting, but you’re tired of this back-and-forth so you say nothing.

“I’m serious,” Jean insists. “I’m not interested in Pieck, I don’t know how many times I need
to tell you that. Flirting with her sometimes is fun, but I don’t like her like that. We dated for
like two months three years ago and she cheated on me — it’d be a little pathetic if I was still
hung up on her after all of that, don’t you think?”

“Ok,” you say quietly, gaze focused down into your lap. Despite his words, you don’t feel
reassured at all. “Have you guys been hanging out much since we’ve been here?”

“What? No.”

“She always leaves for late-night walks and I assume she’s going to see you.”

“Hey, look at me.” He reaches forward to grab your chin, tilting your head until you’re facing
him. “There’s nothing going on between me and Pieck.” You brush his hand away and look
back down at your lap.

“Does it bother you?” he asks before you have a chance to speak again and your eyes dart up
at him to see a shit-eating grin on his face.

“What? No.”

“Kinda seems like it bothers you,” he teases, leaning forward. “Are you… jealous?”

“Of course not,” you say quickly, looking away from him with a huff.
“Oh, come on,” he teases, leaning forward to grab your chin in his hand again. He tilts your
head to face him and you try your best to keep your face neutral but when you see that he’s
still grinning at you, you can’t help but crack a smile in return. “You know there’s no one
else,” he says, “Just you. Always you.”

“And all your other fake wives,” you tsk, brushing his hand away again as the two of you
break out in giggles.

Jean catches your hand in his as you try to push him away and you find yourself lacing your
fingers with his. You feel your breath catch in your throat and you stare down at your
interlaced hands for a moment before your eyes dart up to his face.

“Does it bother you that I’m hanging out with Eren?”

His face falls immediately. “Yeah, it does.”

“Why?” you ask, eyes narrowing to regard him carefully. “You guys used to be best friends.
If he was good enough to be your friend, why can’t he be my boyfriend?”

“Is he your boyfriend?” Jean asks, and if you thought he looked upset before, he looks even
more broken now.

“No,” you say quickly. “We’re just hooking up, it’s nothing serious.”

“Right,” Jean says quietly, but he pulls his hand free from yours and you instantly regret
saying anything. “Do you have feelings for him?”

“No,” you say quickly, but your heart lurches from the question.

He looks up from his lap to eye you carefully. You watch his eyes narrow and his throat bob
when he swallows before he finally nods. “Ok,” he says.

“Why does it bother you so much?” you press. “Are you jealous?” You try to lilt your tone in
a way that makes it sound like you're teasing him, but you're so nervous that it comes out
shaky and pathetic.

Jean huffs and runs a hand through his hair, smoothing the wet strands back and away from
his face. “Because he’s literally an asshole. He has absolutely no respect for other people and
fucks around with good girls — like you — all the time and breaks their hearts. He doesn’t
deserve you.”

“So, you don’t like us hanging out because you’re worried he’s going to hurt me?”

“I guess, yeah,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

“Is that… the only reason?” you ask, looking over at him expectantly, but he avoids your
gaze.

Jean fiddles with his hands in his lap, looking down with pursed lips before his eyes finally
dart back up to your face. “No, it’s not.”
“What’s the other reason?” you ask, so quietly it’s just a whisper.

He bites his lip and looks back down at his lap. Jean doesn’t answer for a long time and it
makes your mind race with questions. You think back to earlier this week when the two of
you were talking in his room, and when he held you tight against his chest outside of yours,
and then how he touched you the other night.

You swallow loudly to coat your dry throat, still waiting for Jean to respond as your heart
beats so hard in your chest that you’re worried you’re about to knock a rib loose. “What’s the
other reason?” you repeat.

He sucks in a long, slow breath, his eyes still down in his lap. He squeezes them shut tightly
as he exhales through clenched teeth before opening them and looking up at you.

“I really don’t want to screw up our friendship,” he says, swallowing loudly. “I don’t want to
do anything to push you away or make you feel uncomfortable…”

Jean looks like he’s physically in pain as he speaks. He leans forward slightly, reaching
across his lap to grab your hands in his and pulling them into the open space between the two
of you. “I know it was selfish to kiss you when I knew you were seeing someone else, but…”

“But what?” you ask, voice hoarse as your heartbeat pounds so hard it's affecting your breath
— each exhale coming out in a quick puff of air.

Jean squeezes your hands a little tighter, eyebrows pitching up on his forehead as he looks at
you. He opens his mouth to speak but he just stammers and sputters instead. You watch as his
face slowly turns into a darker shade of red and you can feel his hands trembling in your
own.

“I’m sorry,” he says quietly, his gaze wavering. “I’m scared of fucking everything up.”

“Me too,” you admit, nervously chuckling as you shift your weight on the bed. He returns
your laughter with a grimace.

Sasha’s advice rings in your head as you lean forward onto your knees, hands slipping out of
Jean’s grasp to cup his face. You watch his eyes widen in surprise before darting down to
your mouth to watch how your tongue slides against your lower lip. He raises his hands up to
grab at your wrists and leans back slightly, not enough to pull away, but enough for you to
pause.

His breath audibly hitches in his throat before he says, “Are you sure about this?”

“Yeah,” you assure. You brush your thumb across the stubble on his cheek and watch as his
lips gently part. “Do you want to kiss me, Jean?”

“Yeah,” he admits, biting back a smile. “Do you?”

“Yeah.”
Jean closes the gap between your mouths, pressing his lips firmly against yours. The kiss
starts out slow at first but quickly becomes more intense as Jean wraps his arms around your
waist and pulls you until you’re sitting on his lap. He shifts his palms to your hips and rolls
you back and forth over his crotch as you gasp into the kiss.

Your hands are tugging at his hair and his neck as his mouth ravages yours. He firms his hold
around your body, sitting up on his knees before laying you down on your back with him on
top of you. His large hand presses against the small of your back, holding you slightly arched
off the mattress and against his firm chest.

“Is this ok?” he asks, mouth so close to yours that you can feel the way his lips move around
every word.

“Totally ok,” you assure, and he presses forward for another kiss.

You feel like you might just burst from excitement. After years of pining over him and
stressing out about whether or not he reciprocated your feelings — in just one evening you
were able to finally clear the air!

… Kind of.

You’re aware that neither of you has actually told one another how you feel, but, like Sasha
said, actions speak louder than words, right?

“Ugh, shit,” he groans, fingertips digging hard into your skin as your hips roll against him.
“You’re driving me crazy.”

You giggle against his mouth, ducking your head down into his neck and latching on. Jean
responds with another throaty groan.

“Fuck,” he moans, holding you tighter against his body and panting into your ear. “You’re
getting me all worked up.”

“Is that ok?” you purr, dipping your head lower to bite around his collarbone.

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” he stammers, sitting up on his palms and looking down at you. His
face is flushed dark red, his darkened gaze trailing from your eyes to your lips to your neck.
"But we can't do this."

You whine, twisting your hands around his hair and pulling him back down toward your face.
"No, Jean, you can't do this to me," you say, speaking with your lips pressed against his. "I
need this — I need you."

Despite your begging, he still pulls back, but the way he's looking at you now is dark with
desire. "You gotta stop," he says, breathless as he tugs his lower lip between his teeth. "You
can't talk to me like that right now — you can't... you can't beg for me like that."

"Please," you whimper, rolling your hips up against him and looking up at him with wide
eyes.
He groans, low and deep, clenching his eyes shut tightly and throwing his head back. "Don't
do this —"

"Please, Jean."

"We can't —"

"I need you."

"You gotta stop —"

"I want you so fucking bad, Jean."

With a hiss he sits back on his heels, kneeling between your sprawled open thighs with his
hands covering his face. "Fuck," he groans, and you can see his cock straining against the
fabric of his sweats as he takes low, slow breaths. You sit yourself up on your forearms,
watching him with amusement despite your desperation.

"Why can't we?" you ask, deciding to give him a break from your needy whining.

He lowers his hands from his face and he looks so completely fucked-out from your words.
Pupils blown and face flushed — it only makes you want him more. If that's how he gets
from just you begging for him, what would he be like if you did more?

“I can't stop thinking about my mom.”

You have to hold back your laughter with your hands, clamping them both over your mouth
as your eyes widen in surprise — you were not expecting him to say that.

“She’s just down the hall,” he explains quickly, running a hand through his hair as he takes a
cautionary look behind him, like he’s half-expecting her to be standing in the room. “I’ll
literally die if she hears us.”

You roll your eyes with a groan, dropping your hands from your mouth and sitting up to
reach for Jean’s face. “Ok, jeez, fine.”

“Thank you,” he sighs, leaning forward to litter kisses across your jaw. “I know, I’m sorry, I
— I don't want to stop.”

You hum in response, tilting your head to allow him more space to kiss and lick. You clench
your thighs tightly around his hips as his soft lips send shivers down your spine.

“Besides, maybe you’ll change your mind,” he mumbles against your skin and you huff.

“I’m not going to change my mind,” you respond with a groan and an eye roll. "I'm more
worried about you."

He lifts his head up to grin down at you. “Yeah, ok, cool,” he says, visibility excited before
sitting up completely and hopping off the bed.
 “I’ll see you in the morning, ok?” he says, stuffing his hands into his sweats to fiddle with his
obvious boner. You giggle in amusement as you watch him adjust himself, struggling to make
the imprint of his dick less noticeable.

“See you later, Jean,” you laugh when he looks up at you with a huff.

“Yeah, shit,” he grumbles, face turning red in embarrassment.

Chapter End Notes

Happy June, everyone!! 🥰 This story just cracked 20k hits!!! That's crazy!!! Thank you

enough how much I appreciate you 💗

to everyone who's read, commented, subscribed, kudos'ed, etc. etc. I can never tell you
It's been a fun journey these past few months,
and I'm really looking forward to seeing your reactions to the chapters in June/July.

As promised, here are a few bonus scenes! No mature content in these, so you should be
able to read them even if you don't have a Tumblr account.
11 Eren fucking Jaeger - Short scene cut from original draft of Eren POV chapter.
16 Hopeless - Alternate scene where Eren visits Reader at her hotel room instead of Jean

This week, I'll be sharing an unfinished flashback scene with Eren, Jean, and Armin
(1.7k words) and an unfinished smut scene with Eren (1.4k). I'll put a link to them in

Reminder that all deleted scenes are unedited so they might be a little clunky!
Thanks for reading!!
🥰
next week's chapter, but if you want to see them earlier you can check out my Tumblr.

Team Eren 👀
(Also, just out of curiosity, I made a poll to see how many of you are Team Jean vs.
This won't affect anything in the story, but I'm curious to see if there's a
heavy lean one way or another. Thanks to the anon user that suggested this idea! If
you're Team None/Other, I'd love to hear who and why!)
 Mr. Kirstein
Chapter Notes

cw: Alcohol, explicit language, strained familial relationship

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Saturday

You’re disoriented and confused when you open your eyes to the blinding light from outside,
not shielded at all by the sheer curtains draped across them. Forgetting that you’re at Jean’s
house, you sit up with alarm, looking around frantically to try to figure out where you are
until your bedroom door opens and Jean walks in.

“Hey, I knocked a couple of times but you never answered,” he says, carrying in a tray as he
approaches you on the bed. “I hope it’s ok that I just walked in.”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” you say, still half-asleep as your rub the goop from your eyes. “What time
is it?” you ask, glancing outside. It’s really bright already, so it must be late — you must have
slept through breakfast.

“It’s like… 10 am,” he shrugs and you squeak in alarm. “It’s ok, it’s the weekend. My mom
was cool with it.”

He points down at the food on the tray, an elaborately prepared omelette with orange juice
and coffee on the side. “I made you some food,” he says, sitting at the end of the bed and
rubbing the back of his neck.

You look up from the food to give Jean an appreciative smile before grabbing the cutlery off
the tray to begin working on your meal. “You made this?”

“Yeah, it’s a German Omelette,” he explains. “My mom used to make them for me all the
time when I was kid… it’s not as good as hers, but…”

“No, it looks great,” you say as you start to cut into it. “Thanks, Jean. You didn’t have to.”

“I know,” he says quickly, shrugging. “My mom says she really likes you. She enjoyed
talking with you last night.”

You hum in response around a mouthful of food — it’s delicious and you instantly dive in for
a second bite as Jean continues talking.

“My mom likes everyone but she really likes you,” he says with a small laugh, running a
hand through his hair. “She wants us to help out with some errands around the house — so
much for our little vacation — um, if you’re ok with that?” He looks up at you with hopeful,
expectant eyes and you nod in response.

“Ok, cool,” he says. “Whenever you’re done showering and getting ready, I can meet you
downstairs and we can get to work,” he laughs. “She wants us to clean out the pool and paint
the poolhouse.”

“Pool?” you say, mouth half-full with food. “You have a pool?”

He gestures vaguely toward your bedroom window, “Yeah, you can see it from here.”

You stuff the last forkful of Jean’s omelette into your mouth and set your cutlery down on the
tray. Jean glances down at your clean plate and grins in amusement.

“Wow, you sure polished that off fast,” he says, whistling. “You’d give Sasha a run for her
money with that speed.”

“Oh, shut up,” you groan, taking a sip of your coffee and rolling your eyes. You still haven’t
gotten used to the coffees that Jean has been getting for you, so it’s extra bitter on your
tongue — you try not to grimace. “But, thanks. It was really good.”

“Anytime,” he smiles, but then his eyes narrow. "Is there something wrong with the coffee?"

You look over at him wide-eyed before shaking your head. "No, why do you ask?"

"You made a face," he says, and he purses his lips in thought. "I thought you liked black
coffee."

"I do," you assure. "I've just been drinking a lot of lattes at the office recently, so I think my
palate has changed a little."

Jean hums, considering your response, but he doesn't say anything. He scooches a little closer
to you on the bed, enough so that when you reach out, you’re able to grab his hand. His face
softens as he lets you interlace your fingers and he brings his hand up to kiss each of your
knuckles.

“Come closer,” you whine, softly tugging at him.

You watch as his eyes dart over to your open bedroom door, before back at you. “We can’t,”
he says, pained. “Later, I promise.”

“Fine,” you groan, letting him kiss you one last time on the back of your hand before pulling
your hand away completely.

***

Jean provides you with some of his old, frumpy clothes to wear while you’re painting and
you change into them after you've finished your morning shower. When you meet him
downstairs, he leads you through the house to the backyard where you find the Olympic-
sized pool and accompanying poolhouse.
You whistle in amazement at the sight. With the sun shining down on you guys from above,
the water looks cool and inviting. If you had known Jean had a pool, you would’ve packed
your swimsuit.

“Do you want to paint or clean?” he asks. “We can swap later when we get tired.”

“I’ll start with painting,” you say, reaching out to grab the paint bucket and brush from his
hands.

Both chores seem to be equally difficult, but the poolhouse offers some shade from the sun in
its current position, so you want to take advantage of that while you can.

Jean sets up some music to play through the exterior speakers on the poolhouse so the two of
you aren’t working in dead silence, but other than that, you don’t see much of him throughout
the afternoon as he works behind you.

Although you were expecting this weekend to be a little more relaxing, you’re happy to have
the opportunity to stretch and move your body a little. Painting isn’t hard and the weather is
nice, so you can’t really complain.

Marie comes out with a tray of snacks and drinks for the two of you later in the afternoon.
Since you had such a late breakfast, you’re not hungry, but Jean takes the time to sit down
with his mom to eat some mini-sandwiches while you continue to work.

You can’t hear what the two of them are talking about over the sound of the music from the
poolhouse, but the few times that you glance back at them, you catch them staring at you, and
Jean looks upset. It makes you feel uncomfortable, but you try not to overthink it.

Things have been a little awkward between you and Jean after your kiss last night, but you
can’t help but feel optimistic about the future. It feels like everything has changed and
nothing has changed, all at once.

You want to grab him and sneak kisses during your work, feel each other up against the side
of the poolhouse, or maybe just hold hands — but you don’t know what he’s thinking.
Instead, you've just been trying to sneak glances at him, smiling and blushing every time he
catches you.

Part of you still feels like you’re still in this weird limbo where you don’t know whether or
not Jean has feelings for you, but you’ve been replaying every moment the two of you spent
together in your head to try to convince yourself that he does — and it’s working.

“Wanna switch?”

Jean’s voice in your ear spooks you, causing you to jump and squeal in surprise. He laughs,
grabbing your shoulders and gently running his hands up and down your arms.

“Hey, sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you,” he says, eyes crinkling in amusement.

“Are you done eating?” you ask, looking around him to the table that he was sitting at with
his mom to see it empty, save for a few leftover snacks and a pitcher of water.
He nods and reaches for the paintbrush in your hand. Your hands brush against one another
during the exchange and you try to ignore the hitch in your breath when they do.

“I can take over here,” he says, nodding his head toward the pool, “And you can finish up the
pool.”

“I like painting,” you whine, pouting.

He chuckles and points up at the poolhouse, near the roof where you aren’t able to reach.
“You’re missing spots — you need my help to get it all done.”

“Yeah, whatever,” you huff, trying to sound annoyed but you start laughing.

“I left the pool cleaner by the table,” he says and you nod in response, making a move to
walk toward it. “Wait a sec,” Jean hums, grabbing your arm tightly and pulling you close
against him.

Jean leans his head down and softly presses his lips against yours. You find yourself melting
forward into his chest, despite the chaste kiss, and pull away feeling light-headed and
breathless.

“I hope that’s ok,” he says softly, running a hand through his hair. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” you say quickly with a dopey smile across your face.

“I don’t want my mom to see,” he explains, looking back over his shoulder.

“You’re insane,” you giggle, hitting him gently in the chest until he turns back to face you.
“Jean, you’re a grown man. I think your mom knows that you kiss people.”

He shrugs, “I know, but it’s still kinda awkward.” He nods toward the pool house, “After
dinner, why don’t we hang out in the poolhouse? It’s got a mini theater so we can watch
movies or… whatever,” he shrugs, looking away. “We can bring our things and sleep in
there.”

You nod, eager. “Yeah, ok. Your mom’s not gonna bother us in there?”

He looks back at you and you can see his face start to turn pink as he blushes. “No, she never
goes in there.”

***

It takes you most of the day to finish cleaning out the pool and painting the poolhouse,
leaving you with just enough time to shower and get cleaned up before dinner. While you’re
fixing your hair in the bathroom, Jean walks in with two very full glasses of wine in one hand
and a bottle in the other.

“Want a drink?” he asks, holding out to you.

You scoff, setting down your things to grab the glass. “What’s with the heavy pour?”
“I don’t have the energy to deal with my dad sober,” he groans, swirling his drink in his glass.
“I’m really sorry you have to meet him tonight.”

Jean raises his glass up for a toast and you mimic his pose. “Any words of wisdom for me
tonight?” he asks, eyes glinting as he looks down at you.

You ponder for a moment before remembering a quote you found online once, “Life is not
always a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes, playing a poor hand well.”

Jean hums, smiling as he clinks his glass with yours before taking several large gulps from
his glass. “I like that,” he says, licking the stray drops of wine from his lips.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” you offer with a shrug, tearing your eyes away from Jean’s mouth
long enough to take a sip. “Your mom seems so sweet, I can’t imagine she would be with
someone who’s really terrible.”

Jean scoffs, rolling his eyes dramatically as he takes another large gulp, half-finishing his
drink. “That’s the problem, my mom is too sweet. She lets him walk all over her.”

You frown, swirling your drink in your glass. “He’s not around a lot?”

“Nah,” Jean shakes his head. “Ever since I was a kid, he’s always been really busy with work.
I can probably count on one hand the number of times he’s been home, and that’s including
birthdays and holidays.”

Your frown deepens, “He works for the Reiss family?”

“Yeah, some bullshit finance gig,” he shrugs. You notice that’s the only explanation he ever
offers when you ask. “He’s probably going to bug me tonight about going to work for him.”

“Do you want to?”

“Definitely not,” Jean scoffs, finishing his drink. You glance down at your own glass, seeing
that it’s mostly full, and start to drink a little quicker. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I
think I’m going to stick it through in accounting with Titan. I’m good at it and Erwin is a
really cool guy to have as a mentor. I want to make my own name and my own career… I
don’t want to ride off of my dad’s coattails. I don’t want people to think I’m anything like
him.”

You just offer a shrug in response, choking back your drink until you feel the flush on your
cheeks. “It’s just dinner, and then we can go watch a movie or something. It’s Saturday, after
all.”

He nods, smiling. “Roomie movie night, right.”

Jean grabs the now-empty glass from your hand and sets both on the counter, leaning forward
and cupping your face in his hands. “I’m really glad you’re here with me today, but please
don’t see my dad and immediately run away screaming. I promise I’m nothing like him.”

Your hands reach up to grab at his wrists, smiling up at him. “I promise, I won’t.”
He leans forward to kiss you and you expect it to be quick and chaste like the one outside by
the pool, but he pushes you backward until your back is pressed against the bathroom counter
as his teeth nip at your lips. You moan softly into his mouth, allowing your lips to part for his
tongue to tangle with yours.

Jean presses his hips firmly against yours, groaning into the kiss before pulling away,
breathing heavily. “Sorry —”

“Don’t apologize,” you say quickly, reaching out for him to pull him in again, but he laughs
and swats you away.

“I feel like I can’t control myself around you anymore,” he admits, cheeks turning pink as he
runs a hand through his hair. “I can’t keep my hands off of you.”

You grin up at him, excited as he brushes the hair away from his face. “It’s ok, Jean. I don’t
mind.”

“I know,” he says with a smile. “I’m trying to keep it together until we can be alone
together.”

“Oh?” you say, suddenly feeling your heartbeat between your legs.

Recognition flashes in Jean’s eyes and his face instantly turns red. He turns his face away
from yours, stammering and stuttering, “Sorry — I... just like —”

“It’s ok,” you offer, resting both hands on his chest and even through his shirt you can feel
how quickly his heart is beating.

“Shit, sorry, I feel like a teenager,” he huffs, running a hand through his hair for what feels
like the millionth time today.

You giggle, “Don’t worry, me too. It’s probably all the sexual tension.”

He laughs before leaning down to kiss you again, this time it’s quick and chaste before
pulling away. He leans back against the counter and grabs his glass of wine, giving you an
opportunity to catch your breath while he refills both of your drinks.

“Let’s just get through dinner first then see how things go,” you say and Jean catches your
gaze with a smile.

***

Marie walks back and forth from the room, laying out plates of food in front of each of you.
You’re not sure if she prepared this meal — or if one of the Kirsten family chefs did — but it
looks delicious. Your mouth is already watering after skipping lunch today.

Jean’s father hasn’t arrived yet for dinner, but the three of you have been seated at the table
waiting for a few minutes now. After your pre-game in the bathroom, Jean poured you
another hefty glass of wine at the table while he's already half-finished his own.
“We don’t have to wait for him,” Jean says, grabbing his cutlery to start working on his meal.
You see Marie frown from the other end of the table, but she doesn’t say anything, leaving
her hands on her lap as she waits for Jean’s father.

You glance between the two nervously, unsure whether you should wait or follow Jean’s lead,
but luckily, you hear the slamming of a door behind you and a man’s voice yelling. You can’t
make out the words, but both you and Marie jump from the sound.

“He’s here,” Jean sings around a mouthful of food.

Jean’s father enters the room shortly thereafter, screaming complicated finance jargon into the
phone as he collapses into the chair at the dinner table. You sit still in your chair, eyeing him
cautiously as he haphazardly throws off his suit jacket.

“Jean, sweetie, you’re home,” Marie says with a soft smile.

Ah, Jean is named after his father.

He taps at his phone furiously before setting it down on the table with a heavy sigh. “Thanks,
honey,” he says, but there’s no warmth in his tone. Jean’s father turns towards you and you
cower under his gaze.

Not only does he and Jean share a name, but their physical similarities are uncanny. He has
the same ash-brown hair and intense brown eyes, but they don’t look at you softly like Jean’s
do, they’re harsh and probing. Jean and his father are spitting images of one another, and as
you glance between the two of them, you feel yourself shrinking under their equally fierce
gaze.

“Who are you?” Jean’s father asks.

You quietly introduce yourself, glancing over at Jean for reassurance but his eyes are cold as
they focus on his father.

“So, what do you do?”

“Dad.”

You shake your head at Jean, “It’s okay — um, I work at Titan, with Jean,” you explain.

Jean’s father scoffs and rolls his eyes. “You're in accounting?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Are you going to be Partner one day?”

“I don’t know, sir,” you say quietly, picking at your food with your fork and flushing in
embarrassment — you’re definitely not going to be Partner if you get fired after the Reeves
job, but you don’t think saying that would score you any points with Jean’s dad. “I’m just
trying to learn as much as I can right now, get exposure to a bunch of different industries…
try and figure out what I really like.”
“So, why are you hanging around Jean?”

“Leave her alone, Dad.”

“It’s just a question.”

“You know exactly what you’re doing.”

Your eyes dart between the two, nervous.

“Are you looking for a free ride?” Jean’s father presses, holding up his hand and rubbing his
thumb over his index and middle fingers, mimicking the gesture of rubbing money together.

“Dad,” Jean hisses, fists clenched on the table around his fork and knife, “Stop it.”

“It’s just a question,” he repeats, not even glancing in Jean’s direction.

“Jean and I…” you glance over at him with a furrowed brow, unsure of what to say. “We’re
friends, from university,” you decide. “We took the same accounting courses so we used to
study together all the time.”

“These two live in the city with their two other friends from school,” Marie chimes in,
beaming from across the table. “Do you remember Connie and Sasha?”

“Right,” Jean’s father says, still glaring at you.

“Be polite,” Jean spits, frowning. “Mom’s talking to you.”

“Jean-boy, it’s alright.”

“No, Ma, it’s not.”

Silence fills the room, interrupted only by Jean’s dad’s knife scraping against the plate. Your
eyes land on Jean’s face, brows furrowed in concern as he grips his cutlery hard in his hands,
knuckles turning white.

“It’s alright, Jean-boy,” Marie assures, speaking quietly to ease the tension. You can tell that
Jean isn’t assured, but he sets down his knife to reach for his wine glass, downing it entirely.

You duck your head down to your plate, quietly working on your food as you struggle to
breathe from the tension in the room. You can hear Jean taking angry huffs of breath from
across the table, but Jean’s father doesn’t seem to be bothered at all by the exchange.

“Jean-boy is working closely with Erwin Smith these days,” Marie says, perking up with
pride. “He’s the… what is it, sweetie? Partner of Titan?”

“Regional Managing Partner,” Jean corrects with a huff. You can see his jaw clenching hard
around each bite of his meal. “Yeah, he’s been assigning me special projects and clients to
work on for him.”
Jean’s dad looks over at his son, considering this information as he chews a mouthful of food.
“Are you doing a good job?”

“I think so —”

“It’s a yes or no question.”

Jean presses his lips hard into a line, glaring at his dad. “Yes. I’m doing great.”

The two stare at each other in silence for a beat before his father looks away, back at his plate
for another bite. Jean breaks his gaze to reach for another bottle of wine on the table, twisting
the cap open to pour himself another glass.

You try to catch his eye from across the table — he’s been drinking a lot, probably two whole
bottles, now. You want him to slow down because you know if he gets drunk, his fuse will be
even shorter, but he doesn't look your way.

“The kids have been delightful guests this weekend,” Marie says, smiling. “I had them clean
out the pool and paint the poolhouse for me this afternoon.”

“I told you to just hire someone to do that,” Jean’s dad frowns, brows scrunching between his
eyes. “We can afford the help, so there’s no need for you to burden yourself with all these
foolish house chores.”

“You know I like to keep myself busy,” she says, still smiling.

“Stupid woman,” he scoffs.

“Hey!” Jean snaps, “Watch your language.”

“Jean-boy, it’s alright.”

“No! Ma, it’s not.”

Jean was already barely holding it together, but you can see now that his last glass of wine is
hitting him, through flushed cheeks and glassy eyes. “Stop being rude to her,” Jean says
sternly.

Jean’s father turns back to his son, regarding him quietly for a moment as he chews around
his food with narrowed eyes before asking, “How much longer do you plan to stay at Titan?”
Refusing to address Jean’s outburst.

Jean crosses his arms over his chest with a huff. “I don’t know. Forever? I like it.”

“How much longer are you going to waste your time?” he repeats, frowning. “You could be
doing so much more with your life.”

“I’m not wasting my time, Dad.” He spits the word like it’s an insult. “I love my job and I’m
good at it.”
He scoffs, “Love? What kind of a reason is that? And being good at it doesn’t mean anything
if it’s not a respected profession — you know, you’re just settling.”

“I’m not settling,” Jean says, rolling his eyes. “I’ve worked really hard to get here. It’s an
achievement.”

“You call being an auditor an achievement? It’s a dead-end job with no future.”

“What do you know? I have opportunities for advancement working under Erwin and I feel
like I’m making a difference in the business world.”

He scoffs and rolls his eyes dramatically. “It’s a thankless job that only brings attention to
problems. No one respects auditors. Jesus Christ, Jean. When are you going to snap out of
this fantasy world you’re living in and come work with me at Reiss?”

“I don’t want to work there,” Jean says, sternly. “I’m happy with my job at Titan.”

“You’re a grown man, Jean. You need to start taking responsibility and making decisions that
are good for you.”

“I am taking responsibility.”

“You’re just being stubborn and selfish.”

“Selfish? You’re the one who’s being selfish. You just want me to do whatever you want.”

“I’m trying to help you, Jean. I’m trying to give you a better life and all you can do is argue
with me and throw my help back in my face.” He throws his cutlery down onto the table with
a loud clatter, causing you and Marie to jump in surprise.

Meanwhile, Jean is clenching his cutlery so tightly that his hands are shaking. You keep
staring at him with wide eyes, urging him to relax and back off before the two Kirsten men
start exchanging blows, but his gaze is fixed on his father.

“Can’t you two just talk calmly and come to some agreement?” Marie asks, frowning as she
wipes the corners of her mouth with her napkin.

Jean’s father snaps, “There’s nothing to agree on. Jean just needs to listen to reason and do
what’s best for him and his future.”

As he speaks, you can see a look of pain in Marie’s eyes. Jean glances between his two
parents before rounding back on his father, eyes ablaze, and he slams his cutlery down on the
table.

“Stop being rude to Mom. You can’t take advantage of how much she cares for you just so
you can be mean.”

“Mean?” his father asks, brows furrowed. “What are you talking about?”
“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” Jean spits. “You always try to control her and
make her feel bad for doing things when she’s just doing them to make you happy.”

“Now, Jean-boy. Your father wouldn’t do something like that,” Marie says softly, reaching
forward to rest her hand on Jean’s forearm but he jerks away, as if burned.

“Yes, he would. And he does. All the time. And you always let him get away with it.”

“This is ridiculous,” his father scoffs, rolling his eyes and sitting back in his chair. “You have
no right to speak to your mother like that.”

“I have every right to defend her. I’m tired of you mistreating her and her always letting you
get away with it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Jean-boy,” Marie says, frowning. “Your father is a
good man and he loves me.”

Jean looks between his two parents, panicked and angry and drunk before he sits up suddenly.
His chair falls back behind him with a crash! and he tosses his napkin down onto the plate.

“Fuck this,” he spits before storming out of the room.

You sit up with wide eyes. You glance over at Jean’s father but are instantly terrified when he
regards you with a hateful look. You shift your gaze to Marie and offer an apologetic shrug,
“I’m so sorry, I’ll go check up on him,” you say and you immediately race after him.

You follow Jean out the door into the backyard, struggling to keep up with his large steps as
he storms out to the poolhouse.

“Jean! Jean, wait!” you call, but you can hear him huffing and grumbling in anger ahead of
you.

He swings open the door of the poolhouse and it flies against the wall with a loud bang!
startling you and causing you to stumble a little as you follow him inside. Closing the door
behind you, you watch as he walks behind the bar at the far end of the room, grabbing a
bottle of hard alcohol and pouring himself a heavy glass.

“Jean, you should stop,” you urge, rushing to the front of the bar. “You’ve had a lot to drink
already.”

He doesn’t listen to you, bringing the glass up in the air. “Here’s to shitty parents,” he says
before slamming the drink back with one thick swallow and settling the glass back down on
the counter with a sigh.

“Fuck,” he groans, rubbing at his face with his free hand. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“It’s ok,” you assure, biting your lip in concern as you look up at him from where you’re
seated at the bar. “It’s ok — you were right, your dad’s a dick.”
“He wasn’t supposed to be home,” he says. “He treats mom like shit and she just takes it
because she loves him.” You stay silent as Jean sighs. “It’s how he treats everyone.”

“It’s ok, I get it. You can’t choose your family,” you assure. “You did a good job of defending
her tonight at dinner, I’m sure she appreciated it.”

“She doesn’t,” he groans, resting both hands on the bar, his head hanging low between his
shoulders. “She gets mad at me for causing trouble with him… she wants us to get along but
— how the fuck could I ever get along with someone like that?”

You nod in understanding and rest a hand on each of Jean’s forearms. He stays standing
behind the bar with his head hanging low, taking long, steady breaths.

“You’re not your father,” you say, running your hands up and down his forearms. “I saw the
way you talked with your mom yesterday and how you treated her. Sure, your dad’s a dick,
but the way you care for your mom more than makes up for it.”

Jean sighs in frustration. “Thanks. I appreciate you trying to make me feel better, but... it’s
not.” His words are sharp and you physically recoil from him, settling your hands back on the
table.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m Jean Kirstein,” he says, jabbing at his chest with his finger. “And so is he. It doesn’t
matter who I become or what I achieve, I’m always going to be tied to him. I’m always going
to be just fucking like him.”

You shake your head. “That’s not true, you can make a name for yourself and break free of
him.”

“It's not that simple,” he repeats with a huff. “You don’t get it.”

“I’m sorry,” you say quietly.

It hurts to see Jean in pain like this and not be able to do anything about it. For the first time,
Jean is opening up to you about his life and you’re only making things worse and making
him more frustrated.

He sighs, lifting his head up to look at you. His eyes are red-rimmed and bloodshot, face tight
and contorted in pain from his argument with his parents. Jean comes around to the front of
the bar to stand next to you. He turns your chair around until you’re facing him and then
spreads your legs to stand between them, arms resting behind you until you’re caged against
the bar by his body.

You look up at his glazed, drunken eyes with wide, nervous ones of your own. He’s breathing
hard from the alcohol, each breath coming out in quick puffs against your cheek as he looms
above you.

“This is why I don’t like talking about my life,” he explains quietly, brows furrowing as he
looks down at you. “It’s just shit like this, over and over again. Dad being a dick. Me being a
dick. My mom just fucking tolerating it.” He hangs his head with a heavy sigh, clenching his
hands into tight fists as they rest on the bartop behind you.

“I try to be better, but every time I get in a fight with him I'm just reminded of how similar
we are,” he says quietly, sniffing sharply before lifting his head to look back at your face.
“I’m really sorry you saw that,” he says softly and you can see that his eyes are watery. “I’m
sorry I was rude to you — I’m just so angry, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you... that’s
not right.”

“Jean, you’re really drunk,” you say, frowning. “Let’s go sit down.”

“No, I’m fine,” he scoffs, leaning forward to kiss your cheek gently before standing up. He
slides his hands from the bartop to your waist, thumbs rubbing small circles on your ribs as
he looks down at you. Jean frowns, “I never want to hurt you.”

You wrap your arms around his shoulders, brushing his neck with your thumbs as you look
up at him softly. “You would never, Jean.”

You can tell from the look on his face that your words don’t provide him with any comfort or
assurance, so your eyes scan the room, looking for something to distract him with. They land
on the big-screen tv and the large home-theater seating in front of it that looks more like a
bed than chairs.

Nodding your head toward the tv, you say, “I thought we were gonna watch a movie or
something?”

His hands reach up to yours, still resting on his shoulders, and he gently clasps his hands in
yours. “Sure, let’s watch a movie,” he smiles.

He helps you hop off the barstool and the two of you walk to the couches together. He settles
into the couch with a drunken sigh, grabbing at the remote and turning on the tv.

“If you want to change, your stuff is over there,” Jean says, gesturing vaguely behind you.

You turn around, spotting your bag near the door, and head over. Not that you’re wearing
anything particularly fancy, but you’d like to change into some pyjamas if you’re going to
watch a movie.

You grab your things and go down the hall to change in the bathroom while Jean calls out
various movie names for you to choose between. You pull on an oversized white t-shirt and
your sleeping shorts before heading out and plopping down on the couch next to Jean.

He instantly grabs your waist and pulls you tight against his body despite your shriek of
feigned protest. He pulls you until you’re settled between his legs with your back tight
against his chest. Jean rests his head on your shoulder, still breathing heavily from the alcohol
as he clicks on a show on the tv.

“Let’s just watch something stupid,” he says, tossing the remote off to the side. He wraps his
arms tightly around your waist, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck as he takes a
deep breath.

His affection is cute and makes your heart swell with happiness. You’ve dreamed of being
close like this with him for years, and now that it’s a reality you can hardly contain the grin
across your face as you lay back against his chest.

“You smell weird,” he grumbles, lips brushing against your skin. “Did you get a new
perfume?” You squirm in his lap as he runs his nose across your shoulder, breathing deeply.
“Like vanilla…”

Shit. Right. You’re wearing Eren’s shirt.

“Oh, it’s just the laundry detergent,” you say, panicking. Despite the progress you’ve made
with Jean these past few days, you know he won’t be happy to know that you’re cuddling
with him in one of Eren Jaeger’s shirts.

He hums, unconvinced, and moves his head to your other shoulder, repeating his motions as
chills run down your back. You hope he’s too drunk to put two-and-two together, but you still
frantically try to think of some way to change the subject to get his mind focused on
something else.

You freeze in fear as Jean’s fingers dip against the back collar of your shirt, pulling the tag
out to read the size. “Men’s large? Why are you wearing a —”

He pauses mid-sentence, realizing immediately before his hands fall from around your body.
Jean practically jumps away from you, breaking all touch as he groans in disgust.

“Who’s shirt is this?” he asks, but you know he already knows.

“I’m just borrowing it,” you say quickly, looking over at Jean with big, panicked eyes.

“Is it Eren’s?” his tone is stern and sharp and under the dark lighting of the poolhouse he
looks just like his father.

You just nod in response, watching as Jean’s brows furrow, lips tightening into a firm line
across his face.

“Why did you kiss me if you’re dating Eren?”

“I’m not dating Eren,” you reply firmly.

He sighs, running his hands over his face. “You’re wearing his shirt for Christ’s sake, of
course, you’re dating him,” he says. There’s anger in his tone but he keeps his face turned
away from you. “We can’t do this.”

“We’re not doing anything wrong,” you urge.

“It just doesn’t feel right,” he sighs. “You act like you want me and then you go and hook up
with that asshole? How does that make sense?” He groans in frustration, sitting up to rest his
elbows on his knees as he cradles his face in his hands. “What the fuck,” he grumbles. “All
girls are the same.”

"I already told you," you insist, "We're not dating. It's ok for us to do this."

He huffs and shakes his head, but keeps himself turned away from you. "Look — I don't like
Eren, you know that, but I'm not going to encourage you to cheat on him, that's not right."
Jean runs his hand through his hair and you can see his shoulders tensing. "It felt like shit
when it happened to me and I don't wanna be the guy that makes someone else feel like that."

"Oh my God!" you groan, exasperated. "We're not dating, I don't know how many times I
need to tell you that! The only reason Eren and I are hooking up is because I'm trying to
make you jealous! He knows that — he knows there's nothing between us."

You watch Jean still during your outburst and after a pause, he looks up at you. “You, what?”

“The only reason I’m hooking up with Eren is to make you jealous,” you repeat, exasperated.
“I started sleeping with Eren because I knew you hated him, and that maybe it would help
you realize that you had feelings for me.”

His brows scrunch in confusion. “What?”

“I know it’s stupid,” you say, face burning in embarrassment. “But it worked, didn’t it?”

“Do you have feelings for me?” He asks and you freeze in shock.

You swallow to coat your dry throat in moisture, suddenly wishing you could be anywhere
but here right now — having to admit your feelings to Jean so earnestly. Part of you wants to
shy away from his question and deny everything, but you've made too much progress to back
down, now. Your response to his question is going to completely change things between the
two of you, for better or for worse, and you don't know if you're shaking in fear or
anticipation.

He eyes you warily and you realize that you still haven't responded to his question. “Yes,”
you say after a long pause, “I have feelings for you.”

You watch the muscles in his jaw twitch as he clenches his teeth, but otherwise, his face
shows no emotion.

You swallow again. “Do you have feelings for me, Jean?” you ask, quiet and meek.

“Yes,” he answers abruptly. His response comes so fast that you reel back in shock. “Yes, I
have feelings for you,” he repeats, scooting closer to you on the couch.

“Ok,” you respond lamely.

The two of you pause, just staring at each other as you each absorb this new information.

“I…” he sighs and runs a hand through his hair, eyes darting away. “I just… I didn’t want to
tell you because I was scared of ruining our friendship…”
You don’t respond, noticing his hesitation and hoping that the silence will spur him into
speaking.

This time, he runs both hands through his hair before speaking. “You saw what happened at
dinner. I’m scared that I’m going to fuck things up and end up like him,” Jean says, face
scrunched in anger as he looks down at his lap. “I’m so fucking scared I’m going to be like
my dad and I’m going to treat you like how he treats my mom — what you saw tonight was
just the tip of the fucking iceberg.”

“You’re not like your dad, Jean,” you assure, lacing your fingers with his. He gives your hand
a firm squeeze but doesn’t look up. “Why are you so afraid of hurting me? You’ve dated girls
in the past and you’ve never been this weird.”

“I don’t know,” he confesses, shaking his head. He finally looks up at you and his eyes are
wide, face soft and vulnerable. “You’re just different. I don’t know how to explain it.”

You nod, trying to hide your grin from hearing Jean’s words. He’s clearly struggling with
what’s going on in his head and you don’t think now is the appropriate time to gloat about
how much Jean likes you.

“Wait, are you surprised that I like you?” you say, brows furrowed.

“Of course, I am,” he scoffs and rolls his eyes — like it's a ridiculous question.

“Why? I literally kissed you last night and the other night back at the house.”

His face scrunches, pained, and he looks away. “I thought you just wanted to have sex.”

You blink at him, watching the blush crawl up from his neck to his face. “What?”

“I don’t know!” he groans, exasperated as he pulls his hand from yours to bury his face in his
palms. “I don’t know, ok? I always thought that you only wanted to have sex and I was
hiding this big fuckin’ crush on you this whole time and I knew I couldn’t just fuck you.”

You shake your head, confused. “Is that why you were so weird after we kissed the first
night?”

“Yes!” he groans again, face still pressed into his hands. “If we had hooked up that night, I
would’ve been fucked.”

Jean runs his hands up his face and through his hair before turning back to face you,
eyebrows furrowed into a look of pain. “I’ve liked you for so long and if we just had a
meaningless hookup, this crush would’ve gotten so much worse. I would’ve just had to sit
here and watch you date Eren, wishing that you were mine.”

"We're not dating," you remind him.

"Yeah, I get that," Jean says, sighing heavily.

This time, you allow yourself to crack a smile. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Why didn’t you!” Jean groans, throwing himself backward to lie back on the couch with a
dramatic huff. “We’re both adults, we should be able to talk like this but… I don’t know, I
was scared.”

“Yeah, me too,” you hum, scooching back so you can look down at Jean. “Why did you think
I only wanted you for sex?”

Jean gestures vaguely, brows pitching into a look of annoyance, now. “I don’t know. You’re
just always touching me and looking at me with those eyes —”

“What eyes?” you ask, drifting your gaze from his eyes to his pouty mouth.

“Those fuckin’ eyes, ok? And I didn’t know how to handle it.”

“You touched me just as much,” you say pointedly, bringing your gaze back up to his eyes.
“Even out there in front of your mom, you were touching me and holding my hand.”

“Because I like you!” Jean says with another annoyed huff. “When I touch you, I try to keep
it innocent. I hold your hand, I hug you, I…” he gives another vague hand gesture. “But you
are always making it sexual.”

“How?” you ask, alarmed.

“You climbed in my lap the other day,” he says. “You’re always cuddling up to me and
grinding all over me.”

“Oh my God,” you say with a groan, rolling your eyes. “As if you didn’t tell me to look at
your dick back at the cabin!”

“I was drunk!” Jean explains, clearly embarrassed. “Besides, you spent all day eyefucking me
and running around in your little bikini.”

“Oh, so it’s my fault,” you challenge, raising a brow. “I’m just some mesmerizing temptress
and you’re just a poor innocent guy.”

“Exactly,” he chuckles, sitting up on his forearms. “There's only so much I can endure
without cracking.”

“Very noble of you, Jean,” you sarcastically agree with a nod. “Historians will write books
about you.”

“I hope so,” he hums, smiling finally. His face relaxes back to the drunken glaze he had from
back in the bathroom before dinner, but it only lasts a second before his face turns stern
again.

“Look, I'm sorry I kissed you,” he starts, looking at you seriously. “I'm sorry I held you. I'm
sorry I brought you here. I'm sorry that I have fucking feelings for you, ok?" Jean groans,
throwing his hand up in defeat. "My family is fucked up, I’m a stupid asshole, and you’re one
of the most important people in my life. I like you, but I really value our friendship… I'm fine
 with pretending this never happened and hiding this little crush if it means keeping you in my
life forever.”

You frown at him. “Did you forget the part where I told you that I like you, too?”

“No,” he answers, lips twitching as he tries to fight back a smile.

“Why would I want you to forget about everything after we finally just had a breakthrough?”
you ask with a sigh of relief. “Jean, you have no idea how long I’ve been fighting with
myself about this! I don’t want things to go back to the way they were.”

“Are you sure?” he asks, sitting up completely. “If we… if we do this… things will never be
the same.”

“If we do what?”

“If we —” he gestures vaguely. “If we break the dam. If we take things to the next level. If
we…”

“If we have sex?”

“Yeah,” Jean says with a heavy sigh. He runs his hand through his hair and looks over at you
before reaching his hands to grab yours and lacing your fingers together. “I don't want to be
like my dad, but I can't help but feel like I will... I can’t promise that I won’t hurt you,” he
says, eyes darting up to your face.

“It’s ok,” you say quietly, inching forward. “You’re worth the risk.”

“So…” he starts, moving a bit closer to you until your thighs are pressed flush against one
another. “What does that mean for us?”

“I don’t know,” you answer, chest tight as you tilt your head to look over at Jean. His face is
only inches away from yours, you can feel his breath on your skin, tainted with alcohol.

“What do you want?” he asks, reaching his hand forward to wrap around your waist. You feel
your breath hitch at the contact, but lean forward and wrap your arms around his neck.

“You.”

Jean leans forward again, this time pushing you onto your back as he crawls overtop of you.
Propping himself up next to you with his forearm, his other hand runs down your side,
fingertips brushing the hem of Eren’s shirt before sliding underneath.

“Then take off this fucking shirt.”

Chapter End Notes

We have officially hit the halfway mark for Arc 2!! The next 7 chapters contain some of

🙈
my favourite scenes I've ever written and I'm really excited to share them with you. I'm
really really sorry about the absolutely egregious cliffhanger
but I had to!! You'll see why next week.
You hate me, I know --

FYI, I'm going on vacation for the next two weeks. I'll still upload on Tuesday mornings
PST while I'm away, but I might not be as active on Tumblr... or I'll be very active and
be a drunken menace in all of my posts and asks.

Bonus Scenes:
0 Eren & Jean Backstory - Unfinished flashback of the origins of Eren and Jean's
friendship
11.5 The Reeves Job - Deleted smut scene with Eren (mature content, requires a Tumblr
account to view)

This week I'm just sharing one scene because I'm on vacay, and it'll be a scene from the
original plotline where Eren/Reader were fake-dating instead of just fwb (5k).

🥰
And the results of the poll from last week show approx 30% Team Jean and 70% Team
Eren in case anyone was wondering
 Jean-boy (e)
Chapter Notes

cw: Explicit language, dubious consent (drunk sex), explicit sexual content (fingering,
oral, vaginal sex, multiple positions, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, dirty talk, cum
swallowing?)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Jean pushes your shirt up your waist and over your head, crumpling it into a ball before
launching it across the room.

“Jean!” you scold, looking at him with wide eyes.

But he’s not paying attention. His eyes are focused on your bare chest, lips half-parted as he
stares down at you. With one hand hovering over your breast, his eyes finally flick up to
yours.

“Can I touch you?”

Tugging your lower lip between your teeth, you nod frantically and watch as Jean exhales
shakily, eyes shifting back to your chest.

“Ok,” he says, as if to reassure himself, before lowering his hand down onto you.

He cups you entirely with his large palm, kneading and squeezing at the soft flesh as his eyes
widen in delight. He runs a thumb across your already-hardened nipple and sucks in a sharp
breath at the whine you make when he does.

“Fuck,” he hisses, thumb rolling back and forth to hear more and more of your sounds. “I
can’t believe I’m…”

Jean closes his mouth to swallow thickly, only for his lips to fall apart again as he looks down
at you. He glances up at your face, nervous, as he says, “Can I…?”

“Yes,” you whimper, “Anything — anything.”

“Ok, shit,” he nods, this time keeping his eyes fixed on your face as he lowers his mouth
down onto your pert nipple.

His breath is hot against your skin before he swipes a soft, flat tongue against the nub,
causing you to arch up into his mouth. He groans, latching on and sucking you into his mouth
as his tongue continues its assault.
“Ahh — fuck!”

Your hands fly down to tangle in his hair, tugging gently as he tongues the sensitive nub. His
eyes are dark and heavy as he looks up at you, glazed from the alcohol, repeating movements
that make you squirm or whimper as he groans against your skin.

He pulls off with a wet pop! and starts littering wet, open-mouthed kisses all along your
breasts as he makes his way across your chest.

“Fuck, I can’t believe this,” he says quietly against your skin.

“Me either,” you whimper as you watch him drool a line of spit onto your nipple before
gently wrapping his lips around it.

You’ve spent so much time imagining this happening to you, that it almost feels like a dream,
now. Jean’s body is warm and heavy against you as he kisses and sucks on your chest. His
hands are impossibly large, making you look so small beneath them as he grabs at you.

He pulls off from your chest, slowly crawling up your body until his face is level with yours.
“Sorry,” he says, breathless. “I want to kiss you, too.”

He leans down as your hands tug him close, lips pressing against one another in sloppy,
frantic movements. Jean presses his firm body against yours and you involuntarily buck your
hips up against him, to which he groans and pulls away from the kiss. He looks down at you
with flushed cheeks and blown-out pupils, still breathing hard.

“You’re so incredible,” he murmurs, reaching a hand out to cup at your breast again. “I love
your body — I’m so fucking lucky.”

You look up at him with your lower lip held tight between your teeth, whimpering quietly as
you roll your hips against him. “Is this really happening?” you ask, hands trailing down from
his neck to his chest.

“Yeah, what the fuck?” he says, laughing. He looks back up at your face and you can see his
glazed eyes crinkled in amusement. “Is this ok? Are you sure you want this?”

You nod frantically. “I need this,” you assure, gripping his shirt tightly and tugging him
toward you.

“I never thought…” he trails off, nose brushing against yours as his eyes fall closed.

Whining desperately, you grind your hips into him harder. “Please, touch me,” you beg,
remembering the way he reacted last night and grabbing the wrist of his hand on your chest
to slowly drag it down your body.

He shifts his hips back, allowing space between your bodies for you to place his palm against
your clothed pussy. You can hear his breath catch in his throat as he firmly pushes his hand
onto you and your hips jerk needily.
“Ok, shit.” He’s flustered as he looks down at you, breathing shakily as his hand gently rubs
you through your shorts. “Are you sure? Is this ok?”

“Stop asking that,” you whine, reaching up to cover your face with your hands. “You’re
embarrassing me.”

He laughs, hand working a little firmer against you, causing you to moan into your hands.
“Shit,” he hisses, head leaning down to kiss your neck. “You sound really hot. I’ve never seen
you like this before.”

Your face is burning from a mix of arousal and embarrassment as you grind down into Jean’s
hand. You’re loving this, you’re on cloud nine — but also you’re embarrassed that you’re so
desperate and horny like this in front of your best friend.

Jean runs his tongue along the side of your neck and you the groan you let out is feral from
the heat.

“Shit,” he growls, pressing his nose against your cheek as he pants into your jaw. “You taste
so good.”

You pause. “What?”

“Uh… fuck,” Jean hisses, lifting his head to look down at your face. His eyes are wide with
shock and embarrassment. “I just mean —”

When you burst into a fit of giggles, Jean’s face relaxes and he starts giggling, too. He
presses his forehead against yours and he pulls his hand from between your legs, wrapping
both arms around your waist to pull your body flush against his.

“Shit, sorry, I’m stupid.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” you say around your laughter, bringing your hands up to run through his
hair.

“This is fucked — are you sure you like me?” he asks and his tone is light but you can see
genuine worry in his eyes.

“I’m sure.”

He breathes out a soft sigh in relief, pecking you on the lips before propping himself back up
on his forearms. “Sorry, I wish I wasn’t so drunk for this.”

“Do you think you’ll be able to get it up?” you tease and you watch Jean’s eyes glint.

“Oh,” he scoffs, dipping his head down to nip under your jaw. “I’ll get it up. Don’t worry
about that — I’ve been fucking dreaming about this moment.”

You have another burst of nervous giggles that are cut off immediately as Jean’s hand trails
down from your face back down to your shorts, fingers hooking against the waistband and
gently tugging them downward. “Is this ok?” he asks, pulling away from your skin just
enough to speak.

“Stop asking,” you scold, lifting your hips to help him pull your shorts off.

He tsks, sitting up on his knees to fully pull your clothes off your legs.

Tossing the shorts and your underwear to the side, he grabs each of your thighs and spreads
your legs open on either side of his knees. You watch his gaze darken as it trails down from
your face, to your chest, before finally settling between your legs. You feel a flood of
embarrassment being exposed like this in front of him, wanting to snap your legs shut in
shame, but his deep, guttural moan and the tightness of his hands on your thighs keep you in
place.

“Holy shit,” he says, face dark in arousal. “Are we really doing this?”

“Can you stop being so weird?” you beg, squirming beneath him. “Just touch me or
something, please! Stop talking like this is your first time with a girl.”

He scoffs, eyes darting up to your face. “Brat,” he tsks, pinching your inner thigh lightly. “Let
me enjoy this.”

“Let me enjoy this,” you whine, reaching a hand down to grab at his wrist and then tugging
him toward your aching arousal. “Please, I’m so…” The words die on your tongue as you
look up at him in embarrassment. Even after imagining this moment for so long, you still find
yourself feeling awkward and shy.

It’s Jean. You shouldn’t be feeling this way around him, but you still can’t wrap your head
around the fact that this is actually happening.

“You’re so… what?” he asks, eyebrow quirking as he holds his wrist steady from your tugs.

“I’m so horny,” you whimper, hips jerking needily beneath him.

He smirks, still not touching you. “And what can I do to help?”

“Stop,” you whine, covering your face with your other hand.

“You want me to stop?”

“No!” you say quickly, still whining, “You know what I want.”

“This is my first time with a girl,” he teases, and even with your face covered you know he’s
grinning. “I need you to tell me exactly what you want.”

“You’re so annoying,” you huff, looking up at him through the cracks between your fingers.
“Touch me.”

“Here?” he asks, moving his hand from one thigh to the other, squeezing it gently.
You groan in frustration, hips bucking up into the air, aching and needy. “Come on!”

“Here?” he asks again, moving his hand to your lower stomach. Rolling your hips, you can
almost get him to touch you where you need him, but he shifts his hand away.

Jean slides his hand up your body to grab at your waist and his touch feels like fire against
your skin. “Or here?”

“You’re going the wrong way,” you groan, but it comes out more like a whine as you peek up
at him.

He grins down at you as his hand slides up further to grab around your wrist, pulling your
hand away from your face so he can loom above you.

“You have no idea how badly I’ve wanted to do this,” he says, and his voice is low and gruff
in a way you’ve never heard before. “How much I’ve wanted to touch you — taste you —
fuck you.”

His words send a jolt of desire straight into your core as his deep, husky voice rings in your
ears. You look up at him, panting and needy as you tug your lower lip between your teeth.

“Let me enjoy this,” he says, smirking.

“Ok,” you squeak, body trembling in anticipation as he regards you carefully.

Resting one forearm near your head, he lets his other hand trail down your face, your neck,
your breasts — until it hovers against the heat of your pussy. You can feel your clit throbbing
from arousal and your pussy leaking wetness as you look up at him, eyes wide and needy.

When he finally lowers his hand against you, his touch feels like electricity against your skin.
Jolts of pleasure course through your body as you writhe beneath him, at the mercy of his
skillful fingers. He starts by rubbing circles on your clit with his thumb as his fingers brush
up and down along your entrance. Even through your dreamy haze, you can hear how wet
you are under his touch.

Jean groans, eyes darkening once more as he plays with you, gentle pads pressing lightly into
you, but then pulling away before they can slide in. “You’re so wet for me,” he groans, and
you tilt your face away in embarrassment.

“Stop,” you scold, face burning.

“I thought you liked dirty talk.”

Even though it’s just a throwaway comment, you can feel his touch waver at the thought of
you doing this same thing with a specific someone else. You fumble quickly for words to
bring things back on track.

“It’s just weird,” you say, shy. “We’re friends, we don’t talk to each other like this.”
“Get out of your head,” he scolds, brows furrowing. “I’m trying to make you feel good —
didn’t you say you wanted to enjoy this?”

You scrunch your nose up in embarrassment, but you know he’s right. “Yeah, sorry. I feel like
I’m all over the place.”

He nods, applying a little more pressure to your clit, causing you to cry out. “Just focus on
this,” he says, fingers pressing a little harder at your entrance. “Focus on how good I can
make you feel. Let’s try to forget about everything else — ok?”

You try to nod in response but find yourself with your head thrown back against the cushions
of the couch as he slides a finger inside of you. His finger is so long, plunging deep inside of
you as you squeeze and writhe around him.

“Ooo,” he says, a devilish smirk crossing his face. “Tight fit.”

Your mind goes blank as he starts to pump his finger into you, pulling more wetness out
against your folds before plunging back in to the knuckle, all the while maintaining steady
circles on your clit with his thumb.

Even drunk with just one finger, you find yourself close to unraveling from his touch. Your
hands fly up against his chest, fisting the cotton of his shirt as your hips roll against his hand.

“Fuck — that feels —”

You’re struggling to form words as his finger curls inside of you, causing your back to arch
up off the couch from the sensation. Even Jean is breathing heavily above you, eyes fixed on
your face as it contorts in pleasure.

“Ready for another?”

“Yes yes yes yes — please!”

He laughs at your desperation before pressing a second fingertip against your entrance,
pushing gently until they both slide into your body, and the stretch of a second digit causes
you to clench around him.

Jean groans in approval, pumping his fingers into you as he keeps his steady rhythm on your
clit. “I can feel you getting so tight and wet around my fingers,” he says, voice low and gruff.
“Are you going to cum for me? Already?”

You clench your eyes shut as your breathing gets more erratic, focusing on the building
pleasure in your core from his fingers — Jean’s fingers. He works them hard against you,
curling against that soft bundle of nerves just inside of you until you find yourself gasping
and shuddering beneath him.

Curling forward against his chest, you clutch hard at his shirt as your pussy flutters around
his fingers. He keeps his steady rhythm, grunting into your ear as he works you through your
orgasm, not slowing until you fall back against the couch, breath and body shaky.
He slows his pace but keeps himself inside of you as he looks down at your face. “That was
so good,” he praises, smiling.

You can only offer him a mumble in response, eyes fluttering open as you feel the steady
build of a second orgasm from his slow-moving fingers.

Jean leans down until his lips brush against your ear, the stubble on his jaw lightly scratching
against your cheek as he does so. His voice is low when he speaks, and you can feel the deep
vibrations in his chest as you clutch against his shirt. “Now that I know how to make you
cum, I want to see you do it again.”

“Fuck,” you whisper, eyes clenching shut again as your pussy throbs around him. “Shit, that’s
so hot.”

He chuckles against your face before pulling away again, looming above you. “Why don’t we
add another?” he hums, and before you can answer you can feel a third finger pressing into
your body, stretching against your walls.

Jean’s fingers move expertly against you, repeating the same motions that had you squeezing
around him from earlier. Your breathing stutters in your chest as you feel his fingers
scissoring inside of you, stretching against your tight walls while his thumb continues its
steady circles.

You find yourself curling up against his chest again, whimpering into his neck as he brings
you closer and closer to the edge. “Fuck, it’s too much,” you gasp.

“You’re doing good,” he assures, scissoring his fingers inside of you once more. You respond
with a strangled gasp as your body clenches around him. “You can take it — c’mon, lemme
stretch you out,” he groans.

You feel the burning intensity of your orgasm nearing its peak as Jean works his fingers
harder and faster. Your whimpering turns into frantic panting, the coil inside of you twisting
and twisting and threatening to snap.

Just as you feel yourself about to tumble off the edge once again, Jean pulls away completely,
leaving you empty and frustrated. Your eyes fly open in shock as you fall back against the
couch, breathing hard as you look up at Jean with confusion.

“Why did you —?”

He’s smiling down at you despite your sputtering and presses a soft kiss to the tip of your
nose. Shifting his weight, he sits up on his knees between your legs, hands gripping your
thighs tightly as he looks down at you.

“I told you what I wanted to do to you,” he says, shuffling back on his knees. He crouches
lower against the couch and leans forward to press a kiss to the underside of your jaw, and
then to the side of your neck.
You squirm in pleasure as he leaves hot, open-mouthed kisses across your collarbone and
then down your sternum. He keeps his eyes fixed on your face as he keeps trailing his mouth
lower and lower and lower until his breath is ghosting across your pelvis and you can feel
yourself dripping in anticipation.

Jean grabs one of your thighs and hooks it over his shoulder before nipping gently against
your inner thigh and as he does, you can feel his jaw moving against your slick folds. “I
touched you,” he says, practically growling as he moves his mouth to do the same to your
other thigh, “and now I’m going to taste you.”

You grip the couch desperately as Jean swings your other thigh up onto his shoulder, pulling
you close against his face and lifting your body until just your head and shoulders are pressed
into the cushions.

You cry out in alarm as he lifts you, settling your thighs on either side of his face, and
shifting his weight until he’s sitting comfortably on his heels. You feel flustered and exposed
in this position, thankful for the balance of his broad shoulders, but Jean’s hot breath against
you has you seeing stars.

Your body is still throbbing in arousal from the last orgasm that Jean ripped away from you,
so when he closes his eyes and lowers his mouth onto you, you damn near cum instantly. He
doesn’t ease you into it, instead, sucking your clit into his mouth and tonguing it rhythmically
as you writhe in pleasure beneath him.

The feeling is so intense you’re struggling to stay still, but Jean’s firm grip on your thighs
holds you in place as he devours you. Each wave of heat brings you closer and closer to the
edge with every flick of his tongue until you’re crying out in pleasure, clenching and gushing
against his skin as he coaxes you through another orgasm.

You’re whimpering and crying through this one, body shaking as his tongue repeats its
movements to prolong your pleasure for as long as possible. You find yourself gasping and
moaning and clenching your thighs around his face from the sensation, your mouth hanging
open as you gasp out, “Fuck — Jean!”

Hearing you cry out his name in a fucked-out bliss has him moaning into your skin as he
works you through another orgasm. When you stop clenching against his chin, he pulls away
from you with a wet smack! Lowering his face back down to make long, slow, languid licks
up your entrance. You're shaking in his grip as he cleans the wet mess between your legs with
his tongue. Your head is throbbing from the rush of blood in this position, feeling dizzy and
lightheaded after another, intense orgasm.

Jean removes your legs from his shoulders, breathing heavily as he looks down at you. Stray
strands of his hair fall into his eyes as he looks at you with a dark blush, the lower half of his
face glistening.

“You look so hot,” you say, breathless as you reach out for him with grabby hands. “How do
I taste?”
“Amazing,” he laughs, rubbing a palm across his mouth to clean himself off before landing
with both hands on either side of your head. “Wanna see?” he asks.

You nod, grabbing at the back of his neck to pull him toward you. Jean kisses you frantically,
tongue playing with yours as you taste your slick arousal against his lips. Your mind is still
reeling from your last orgasm, but when you feel his hips lower against yours and the
hardness between his legs, you moan impatiently.

“Jean, I want to have sex.”

“Yeah, shit — me too.”

He sits off you, grabbing at the collar on the back of his shirt before pulling it off in one
quick, smooth motion. He unbuckles his belt and then pulls down his zipper before hooking
his thumbs under the waistband of his jeans and underwear and tugging them off just as
quickly. You watch the waistband of his underwear dragging across his length — lower and
lower and lower, until it slides off his tip and you see his cock fly up against his stomach.
You find yourself gawking at him with your mouth hanging open as you see, for the first
time, the size of the erection between his legs.

“Holy shit, Jean,” you gasp, sitting up and reaching out for it immediately, as if you don’t
believe it’s real.

Jean groans when you wrap your hand around him, he’s so thick your fingers don’t touch and
you feel yourself shudder in a mixture of alarm and anticipation. You should’ve known,
based on his height and stolen glances at the outline of his dick through his sweatpants, but
you’re still surprised to see it up close. Just like you thought, everything about Jean is big,
thick, and veiny.

"Big Dick Jean," you whisper in awe. Jean snorts and soon the two of you are laughing and
giggling again.

When your laughter dies down, you start to gently move your hand along his length. He
wraps his hand around yours and you look so small and delicate in comparison. He squeezes
you tighter around his cock and guides your movements, showing you exactly how he likes to
be touched.

“Why do you think I tried to get you so wet?” he asks, voice strained. “I don’t have any lube
here, so if you don’t want to…”

“No, I want to,” you assure, watching the tip of his cock leak precum in excitement. “I really
want to, Jean.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he says, eyes flicking up to your face. The two of you hold one
another's gaze as your fist pumps around his cock before the two of you meet in another
drunken, desperate kiss.

He removes his hand from around yours, wrapping both arms around your body and pulling
you tight against his chest. You can feel his golden chain against your collarbones as he tugs
you close and the heat of his body against yours feels like an inferno as the aching builds
between your thighs.

“Please, Jean,” you say, pulling away. Your eyes flutter open to look at him and his usually
bright brown eyes are almost entirely engulfed by his pupils. “I really want you.”

He nods, breath shaky as he lays you back down on the couch. You spread your thighs on
either side of his body, still stroking him firmly as he settles above you. Angling him toward
your entrance, you rub the head of his cock against the wetness built up around your folds.
You watch his jaw tighten as he looks down at you, struggling to keep his breathing steady.

“Is it ok like this?” he asks, reaching a hand down to replace yours. “Without…?”

You nod awkwardly, not wanting to get into the details about this with Jean. “Yeah, just…”
you gesture vaguely.

“Ok, cool,” he says, rubbing his cock back and forth against your clit.

You squirm and whimper below him from the feeling of his soft head against your sensitive
nub. If you weren’t so fucked out, you’d make fun of him again for being annoying, but right
now you just need to feel him inside of you.

“I’m ready — please, Jean.”

He nods, swallowing thickly before removing his grip from around his cock. He reaches for
your hand and directs it down between your legs. “Spread yourself open for me,” he says,
voice gruff, and you do as he asks, spreading yourself open with your index and middle
finger as he looks down at you approvingly. “Fuck, just like that,” he groans, biting his lip.

Jean’s eyes dart back up to your face. “We’re still friends after this, right?” he asks, as if this
is the point of no return. Like you didn’t just cum on his fingers and his face, moments
earlier.

“Of course,” you urge.

Jean returns his grip around his cock and angles himself toward your entrance, eyes fixed on
your spread-open pussy. As he pushes himself gently against you, you can feel his cock
sliding between your fingers. He slowly inches himself inside, pushing until the thick head of
his cock is nestled inside of your body.

Even just this has you shuddering in pleasure. You look up at Jean’s face to see him already
staring back at you, breath shaky. “Good?” he asks and you just nod in response.

He pushes himself further into you, groaning at the sensation of your body squeezing around
him. He feels so thick as he slides against your fingers and even thicker when he pushes
inside of you. You’re grateful for all the time Jean spent getting you worked up and stretched
out because even now, you still feel the burn of your body struggling to accommodate his
girth.
You close your eyes softly, moaning in pleasure as you feel him hard inside of you, each
ridge and vein of his cock pushing against the tightness of your walls as he sinks deeper and
deeper. He’s not even fully inside of you yet, but you feel so full and satisfied.

Jean starts to thrust in and out, slowly and shallowly. The feeling has you curling up against
his chest in pleasure, both arms flying up to wrap around his body and grip his back,
abandoning your task of holding yourself open for him.

“Shit, Jean,” you moan, nails digging into his skin.

He breathes soft pants against your cheek as his chain dangles against your chin. “Is it ok?”

“More,” you beg. “I want all of you.”

He groans against your skin, one hand wrapping around your back and tugging you tighter to
his chest. “Yeah? You think you can take it?”

Your laugh turns into another wanton moan as he presses deeper into you. You wrap your
legs around his waist, using your feet to push against the backs of his thighs — urging him to
give you more and more, but he keeps moving slowly and gently.

“Come on, Jean,” you whine, hips rolling against you. “I want you, please — fuck me.”

He moans, hand digging harder into the skin on your back as his body stiffens above you.
“Shit, ok — if that’s what you want.” You can tell he’s trying to tease you but his voice is
thick with desire.

Jean drags his hand down your back, leaving a trail of fire against your skin until he settles
his palm on your ass. He grips you hard, pulling you open as he slides deeper into you with a
heavy groan.

“Shit, you’re taking me so well,” he grunts, eyes closing in ecstasy. “Just a bit more — fuck.”

You look down between your bodies to watch him slowly thrust back before driving in
deeper with a groan. His cock glistens in your milky white arousal every time he pulls back
and your body clenches tight around him at the lewd sight of Jean’s cock covered in you.

You find yourself fluttering your eyes closed as he fully sinks inside of you, hips pressed
firmly against yours as you squeeze around him.

“Shit,” he grunts, cock twitching inside of you. “You’re so —”

“Fuck,” you hiss, impatient. “Just fuck me already.”

He laughs, ducking down to press a soft kiss against your lips. “Shit, ok, jeez.”

Still gripping your ass tightly with one hand while the other wraps back around your body —
Jean starts to fuck you. He pulls back almost completely before slamming forward, hips
pounding against yours as he buries his cock deep inside of you. His golden chain swings
against your chin with every thrust, the cool necklace a stark contrast to your burning body.
You cry out in pleasure, nails raking into the skin on his back as he fucks you into the
cushion, panting heavily above you as your body clenches around him. You can’t even form
words as he slides in and out, the head of his cock pushing against the soft bundle of nerves
in your pussy that has your toes curling and your thighs wrapping tighter around his waist.

He moans, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he pants against your skin. His
fingers are bruising as he pulls you tight against him, your chest fully pressed against his
from his firm hand on your back. Jean’s other hand squeezes your ass, pulling you open so he
can fuck you deeper and deeper.

“I can’t believe I waited so long for this,” he groans, lips pressed against your skin as he
speaks. “I was so scared you didn’t want me —”

“I want you, Jean — I want you,” you insist, arms gripping him tighter.

“— the way I want you,” he finishes, and Jean raises his head from your neck to look down at
you, the pace of his hips slowing.

You look up at his soft face to see the vulnerability in his eyes and even after everything the
two of you talked about this evening, you can still tell he’s afraid that this isn’t going to work
out.

“I do, Jean,” you say, squeezing your legs firmly around his waist. “I promise.”

“Yeah?”

You open your mouth to speak, but you watch as his face hardens and he suddenly starts
fucking into you again, harder than before. You find yourself gasping and moaning and
gripping hard at his hair against his skull.

“Gotta make up for lost time, then,” he says, biting down hard on the soft flesh on your
shoulder.

The lewd sound of skin slapping against skin fills the room alongside your frantic moans.
Jean’s hands dig harder into your skin as his body tenses above you, and you can feel the
harsh press of his blunt nails digging into the meat of your ass.

You run your hands down to his back, digging your nails into his skin as your vision is
blinded with pleasure. The steady pounding of his hips against yours has him slamming
against your clit with every thrust, bringing you closer and closer to the edge as his cock
pumps against your tight walls. You try to muffle yourself by sinking your teeth into Jean’s
shoulder, but hearing his groans of pleasure when you do only makes things worse.

“Jean, I’m so close,” you whine, feeling the steady build of heat in your core.

“Fuck — yeah, I know,” he grunts, mouth alternating between tonguing and biting down on
your skin. “I can feel you — so fucking tight — shit.”

His pace becomes hurried — frantic — as he helps you reach your peak. Your toes curl and
your back arches from the sensation of your body squeezing around his length. You’re just
babbling out his name as you feel the coil twist and twist and twist until finally — like
fireworks — the pleasure explodes inside of you, and you find yourself tightening even
harder around Jean’s body.

You tremble and cry out as your nails dig into his skin, holding him tight against you as your
pussy flutters around his cock. He groans at the feeling, moving his hand from your ass to the
cushion near your face, hips slamming harder into you to fuck you through your orgasm.

“Shit — you feel so fucking good,” he groans, lifting his head off your shoulder to press his
mouth hard into yours, swallowing every gasp and moan as he draws them out of you.

Jean pulls away, sitting up on his knees and you immediately miss the feeling of his body
pressed against you. He grips your hips and pulls you into his lap, slowing his thrusts into
deep, rolling grinds against your body.

“Look how fast I can make you cum,” he groans from above, fingertips digging into your
skin. “Fuck — no other dick is gonna be able to satisfy you after this.”

You whimper in response, back arching up off the cushions as your hands grip tightly around
anything you can find to ground yourself.

He presses one palm into your lower stomach and suddenly — fuck — suddenly, everything
is so much more intense. You cry out in pleasure, legs squeezing around his hips as he moans
in approval. You start rolling his hips against him as much as you can, fucking yourself on his
cock as he holds your hips up off the couch.

“Next time you’re fucking someone else, I want you to remember this. Remember how I
make you feel.”

You open your eyes to look up at him and your pussy throbs at the sight. Disheveled hair falls
into his flushed cheeks while he stares down at your body like a predator. He’s breathing hard
and covered in beads of sweat from the exertion but he still looks so fucking hot, it takes your
breath away.

Your eyes trail down his body, from the gold chain bouncing against his collarbones, down
his chest and his flexed abs, to the trail of ash-brown leading to his cock buried inside of you.
You watch as he pulls out slightly, covered in your slick, before pounding hard back into you.
You cry out, head falling back against the cushion.

“You like to watch?” Jean asks, but it sounds sinister.

He removes his hands from your hips, moving instead to hook his hands under your knees
and shoving them forward until they’re pressed to the cushions on either side of your body.

“Hold them here,” he commands, and with weak hands, you do as he asks.

This new position gives you a perfect view of Jean’s cock disappearing inside of you. The
sight is obscene as you watch Jean slowly drag his hips back before pushing forward into
you. Your pussy and thighs are coated in your translucent arousal, leaving a sticky mess
every time Jean presses his hips into you. Collected around the base of his cock is a ring of
thick white, pulled from the depths of your pussy from every thrust. Despite how slick and
wet everything is, the lips of your pussy still cling to Jean’s girth when he pulls back.

He pulls out from you completely and his cock is absolutely glistening from your juices, and
it’s so hot and lewd that you find yourself clenching around nothing at the sight.

“Fuck,” he groans, gripping his cock with one hand while the other settles on the couch next
to your face. “Your pussy’s so wet for me — what a fucking mess.”

Jean rubs his cock back and forth across your clit and then against your inner thighs before
returning to your entrance. He gives himself a few firm strokes with his hand before sinking
back into you — slow, slow, slow — until he’s fully pressed inside of you.

While you’re whimpering beneath him, he shifts his hips back — slow, slow, slow — until
he’s unsheathed from inside of you. This time, he slaps his wet cock against your aching,
swollen clit and you squirm at the feeling.

“Fuck, look at this,” he groans, eyes lighting up as he watches you gape for him.

You can only offer him whimpered gasps and moans as he repeats his movements: one long,
slow thrust in until he bottoms out, and then one long, slow thrust back so he can tap his cock
against your clit.

Despite his agonizingly slow pace, you can feel the familiar twisting in your gut of an orgasm
building. As you get closer, your whimpers become louder and more demanding as you
squirm beneath him.

“Please, Jean, please,” you beg, each word coming out like a choked sob. This time, you’re
not begging just to rile him up — this time, you need it. “I wanna cum.”

“Shh, I know, I know,” he says, smirking. He spends more time rubbing the head of his cock
against your clit, grinning when you twitch beneath him. “And I wanna watch.”

“Fuck, Jean!”

“Pretty little thing, I wanna make this pussy cry for me.”

You’ve spent so many nights fantasizing about having sex with Jean — you’ve imagined
every position and every location you can think of. But in none of your fantasies did you ever
dream that he would be so nasty.

He slides back inside of you, resting both hands on the backs of your thighs as he presses his
weight into you. “You gonna give me what I want? Huh? Gonna let me fuck another orgasm
out of this tight little pussy?”

You can only babble in response as he starts to thrust firmly into you, each movement filling
the room with the steady slap! of his skin against yours. You reach up to grab at his forearms,
nails digging into his skin as your eyes roll back into your head.
He groans, leaning forward as his hips snap against yours. You can feel the growing sensation
of your orgasm building as his cock throbs inside of you.

“Fuck — your pussy feels so good wrapped around my cock,” he grunts and his voice is so
low and husky that you hardly recognize it. “Need to feel you cum — fuck.”

As his thrusts get tougher and the weight of his body pushes you into the couch, you feel that
twisting in your gut becoming tighter and tighter as your release looms closer.

“Fuck, Jean, I — I —”

“I know — feels good, huh? I’ll keep fucking you just like this, as long as you need me to,”
he grunts, hips slapping against you. “You’re so close, yeah? Fuck, I can tell. God, you’re so
fucking perfect.”

You turn into a trembling, whiny mess as your orgasm finally reaches its peak. Gasping and
panting beneath him as he fucks you through every clench of your pussy around his cock, the
messy sounds between your body getting even louder and lewder from the wetness of your
orgasm. You’re just desperately grabbing and clawing at whatever part of him you can reach,
unable to do much else with the way he has your body pinned down.

“Yeah — fuck, that’s it,” Jean groans, pushing your thighs aside and resting clenched fists on
either side of your head. Your legs fall limply to the side, but you circle your arms around his
back, nails digging into his skin as your body squeezes him tightly. “You’re squeezing me so
fucking tight.”

Jean leans down and presses his lips against yours in a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss. Just a
tangle of tongues and spit as you moan into each other’s mouths from the steady pounding of
his hips against yours.

His back flexes under your touch and you can feel his gasps and moans become more urgent
and needy. He starts whispering your name against your lips as his hips move against you,
each word coming out in a puff of exertion. “You feel so good — you’re gonna make me cum
— fuck, you’re gonna make me cum.”

You’re still clenching hard around him when he pulls out of you, his thick, wet cock falling
heavy against your stomach. He moves to reach his hand down, but you beat him there,
wrapping your fingers around his length and stroking him just like he showed you earlier.

His hips buck against your hand, fucking your fist as his moans become louder and more
desperate. He’s so hot and heavy in your hand, cock twitching under your touch until thick
ropes of cum shoot from the tip, coating your stomach and your hand as you continue to jerk
him off.

Jean’s still moaning and thrusting into your hand with each hot spurt until his cock is just
spitting out the last of his release, his whole body shuddering from the feeling as you use
your cum-covered hand to gently stroke his slit. He twitches against your hand, finally
stilling his hips when the last of his cum leaks from his tip.
 You look up at his face to see him already looking down at you, panting heavily. With a
shuddering breath, you bring your hand up to your mouth and lick the sticky release off of
your fingers, eyes still fixed firmly on Jean.

He groans in approval, eyes rolling shut as he reaches a hand to grab at your wrist. He moves
your hand away from your mouth to land his lips firmly against yours, kissing you softly
until your breathing returns to normal and the pounding in your chest goes away.

When he pulls away, the two of you look at each other with flushed, fucked-out faces. You
break your gaze first, turning your head to the side as you feel the burn of embarrassment on
your cheeks.

“Uh, I should… clean up.”

“No, no, I’ll do it,” Jean says quickly, rolling off of you. He grabs his underwear from the
ground, pulling them back up on his hips before hurrying away.

Left alone, you stare down at your stomach, fingers circling around in the pools of white as
you mentally debrief what the fuck just happened. It still all feels like a dream, especially
now that you can feel the buzz of alcohol at your fingertips from the wine earlier this
evening.

Laughing a little, you try to just focus on how happy you are to finally be here with him. You
confessed your feelings to Jean and things turned out even better than you had hoped they
would. Operation: Make Jean Jealous: complete.

Jean returns with a wet cloth in his hand and you greet him with a wide grin when he settles
back on the couch next to you. “What?” he laughs, ducking his face as he uses the warm
cloth to clean the mess on your stomach.

“Nothing, I’m just happy,” you say simply, and you watch as Jean burns darker.

“I’m sorry if I was rough,” he says, carefully wiping across your skin. “I’m just drunk — I’m
not usually like that.”

“Really?” you ask, lips pursed in amusement. “I liked it. You can be rougher.”

“Oh. Ok,” he says, voice shaky as he ducks his head further. He starts working on cleaning
up between your thighs as you sit up, watching him intently. “Still like me?” he asks,
grabbing for your hand to clean the cum off your fingers.

“Yeah,” you say, waiting until he tosses the cloth off to the side before cupping his face in
your now-clean hands. “Still like me?” you repeat.

“Yeah,” he says, smiling. “I do.”

Chapter End Notes

my birthday 🥳
I am unapologetically feral for this man 😫 I'm really happy that this chapter lined up on
It's like a gift from me, to me!
I hope you all enjoyed 7k words of smut and I hope it makes up for edging you all
repeatedly over the past 19 weeks!! Don't worry Team Eren, your boy will be back next
week.

Bonus Scene:
0 Fake Dating - An unfinished chapter from the original, scrapped plotline where Reader
asks Eren to be her fake boyfriend and they hang out with Connie, Sasha, and Jean.
(mature content, requires a Tumblr account to view)

This week, I'll share the original draft of Reader and Jean's visit to his parent's home
(3k).
 Stress
Chapter Notes

cw: Explicit language, hurt/comfort, work-related angst

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Sunday

In the morning, you wake up tangled in Jean’s lanky arms and legs and the pathetically thin
blanket you threw over yourselves after having sex last night.

After having sex… with Jean fucking Kirstein.

Despite the pounding headache from your hangover, you can’t help but grin as your heart
races in excitement.

Jean is still asleep, so you roll in his arms carefully to avoid waking him up. One arm is slung
around your waist while the other is under your neck, curling you tight against his chest as he
breathes deeply in rest.

You look at his peaceful sleeping face in awe, feeling lucky that you get the chance to see
him like this so closely. Biting your lip in admiration, you look up at his sharp features, one
hand resting on his chest and gently brushing against the soft, ash-brown curls. You’re so
excited to know that everything you’ve ever dreamed of having with Jean is finally becoming
a reality.

Your hand on his chest must start to tickle, because you watch as he frowns, lifting his hand
up from your waist to grab at yours on his chest. He squeezes your hand once gently before
his eyes flutter open and he tilts his head down to look at you and you're already looking up
at him with warm, glowing eyes.

“Good morning,” he grumbles. His voice is already deep, but it sounds even deeper and more
gravelly this morning. “I feel like shit,” he groans.

You laugh, leaning forward to rest your forehead on his chest. “Yeah, I’m pretty hungover.”

“What the fuck, why did you let me drink so much?” he groans, returning his arm to your
waist your tug you even closer. He presses a soft kiss against the top of your head before he
rolls over, bringing your body up onto his chest as he rests on his back. He tugs you tight
against his body, nuzzling his face into your neck and breathing deeply as you close your
eyes and enjoy the intimacy.
With your head laying on his chest, you can hear when his heart starts to beat faster, so you
lift your head up to look at him curiously and you’re met with his furrowed expression.
“What is it?” you ask.

He keeps his arms wrapped around your body but you can feel him tensing beneath you
before he speaks. “Is this… is this ok?” he asks, face twisted in concern. “We were drunk
yesterday and… I just want to make sure that this is really what you want and not just some
drunken hookup.”

You can’t help but smile, appreciating his concern. “I really like you, Jean. I don’t regret
anything we did last night,” you assure.

His mouth quirks up into a small smile and you feel him squeeze you a little tighter. “Ok,” he
says with a slow sigh of relief. “I like you, too.”

You pause, waiting expectantly for him to continue, but when he doesn’t you ask, “Do you...
regret it?”

His lips press into a tight line and his eyes dart away from you. Suddenly, you feel sick and
clammy and embarrassed — does Jean regret what you did?

“No,” he says slowly, but his tone doesn’t help ease your concerns. “I’ve been in a lot of
really short relationships,” he says. “Like a few days to a few months — and every single one
has ended poorly… I don’t want that to happen with you.”

You melt a little in his arms as your concern softens. “Jean, we’ve been friends for years. You
don’t have anything to worry about.”

Jean shrugs but doesn’t say anything further.

You adjust your position on his chest, squirming until you can rest your palms on the couch
on either side of his head and he looks up at you with a frown. “You’re getting nervous about
all the What Ifs. Just try to focus on the moment and what’s happening right now. Just
because those relationships ended poorly, that doesn’t mean that this —” you gesture between
the two of you, “— will too, ok?”

He grumbles but when you lean in to kiss him you can feel his tensed muscles relaxing
beneath you. “Yeah, yeah,” he says in between kisses.

“I thought we finally talked everything out last night?” you say, pulling away to regard him
carefully. “You told me all of your concerns —”

“And you dismissed them as completely baseless,” Jean finishes, smiling at you. “Yeah, we
did.”

“And you’re still feeling weird about it?”

“I don’t feel weird,” he clarifies, holding you close against him. “This is just… it’s strange,
you know? Going from friends to, uh… this — so suddenly. I don’t want to move too fast or
something.”
“Trust me, we’re not moving too fast,” you say with a huff, but you nuzzle your face into his
chest. “But we can take things as slow as you want, Jean.”

He hums in response and you lift your head to look at him. His gaze is soft but his brows are
still furrowed in concern as he looks up at you, so you kiss his lips gently to try to soften his
worries.

“Ok, well…” he says, lips still brushing yours, “Maybe for now we should keep this a secret
from everyone.”

You audibly pout and he pulls away from the kiss to press his cheek against yours.

“Petra’s already been on your ass with work, imagine what she’ll say when she finds out
about this. And Sasha’s gonna be weird about it so we shouldn’t tell her — or Connie — until
we’ve figured out what’s going on between us.”

He’s right, but you still grumble in response.

“And… of course, there’s Eren.”

“Eren will be fine,” you say quickly, but you break out into a nervous sweat at the mention of
his name. “He doesn’t care.”

Saying it out loud makes your heart hurt. The idea that the closeness and the intimacy that
you and Eren shared will be so easily forgotten makes you sad, but you know it’s for the best.
Eren was only ever a means to an end, and you’ve achieved your end.

“Well, it’s up to you,” Jean shrugs, “But remember how he freaked out over me getting you a
coffee? Imagine what he’ll do when he finds out about this. You should wait at least until
we’re out of Trost so we're not stuck in an awkward situation.”

“Fine,” you groan, letting Jean sit up with you still nestled against his chest. He lifts you up
from his lap and off to the side on the couch beside him, kissing you once on the neck before
pulling away.

“I’m just going to go say goodbye to my mom and then we should head out,” he says,
grabbing his clothes from last night to put on for today. “I don’t want to stick around too
much if my dad’s going to be here.”

You’re sad that your weekend alone with Jean will be ending so soon, but you understand
why he wants to leave so suddenly. Despite how nice his home is and how good his mom's
cooking is, you don't blame him for wanting to go back to the hotel after that awful argument
between him and his dad last night.

“Of course, I’ll pack my things.”

“Great,” he smiles, pulling his shirt over his head.

You reach out for your clothes, pulling on your shorts first before looking around the room
for your discarded white tee. “Where did you throw my shirt, Jean?” You stand up to search,
walking behind the couch in the general direction of where you remember him tossing it.

“Please, don’t wear that again,” he whines, looking at you from over the back of the couch,
hair in disarray from pulling on his shirt. He runs his hands through his hair in an attempt to
smooth it back down, using the reflection from the screen of the tv as a mirror.

You laugh, “I have to return it to Eren, at least.”

“Yeah, but you don’t have to wear it, right?”

“I guess not,” you offer with a shrug, finding it tangled in the legs of one of the barstools. “I
can change into one of my hoodies or something.” You jam it back into your bag, deep near
the bottom, so you don’t accidentally grab it again.

“Thank you,” Jean sighs in relief. “Once you’re done packing, I’ll meet you out front.”

You nod in response, pulling on a random hoodie from the top of your bag — definitely not
Eren's, you note. When you pop your head out of the neck hole, you see that Jean has crossed
the poolhouse to stand next to you. He kisses you softly on the top of your head while you
look up at him with a beaming smile before he heads out to the main house.

After he leaves, you reach for your phone. You haven’t touched the thing all weekend, so
when you see a bunch of unread messages, you aren’t surprised. You read the messages from
Sasha first:

Have fun on your sexy weekend!!!

I hope you two kiss again - mwah mwah mwah!!

You laugh at her messages and quickly send her a follow-up.

I’ll call you when I get back to the hotel

Sooooo much to tell you!

She responds almost instantly with a gif of a screaming cat and you giggle before moving on
to the next set of messages. Jean literally just told you not to tell anyone about your
relationship — or whatever’s going on between the two of you — but you can’t keep
something like this a secret from Sasha. He’ll understand.

The next message you look at is from Petra:

I reviewed your sections over the weekend and there’s some high-priority items I need
you to look at before Hange gets here. Make sure you get it done.

Sure thing! I’ll work on that right away!!

Thanks

Her dry response instantly has you feeling nervous and sweaty for Monday, but you try to
push it out of your head by swiping to the next set of messages. You don’t want anything
ruining your high from this weekend.
If you need me to rescue you from horseface this weekend just say the word
I’ll carry you outta there myself if I have to
Come see me when you’re back :)

Eren, of course.

The two of you don’t text much — usually just to coordinate a hookup — but you’re still not
surprised to see his name pop up after this weekend. You try to respond curtly before shutting
off your phone and stuffing it in your bag. Like Jean said, it’d be more trouble than it’s worth
to break things off with Eren while you still have a week together. You’ll just have to… avoid
him.

Sorry, I can’t.
Bunch of work stuff to do tonight.

***

“You said you’ve got some open notes from Petra, right?” Jean asks, leaning against the wall
as the two of you stand together in the hallway between your two rooms. The Kirstein driver
took you back to the hotel shortly after you gathered your things, and the two of you are
having trouble separating back to your own rooms. “Do you want me to come help again?”

“Yes,” you say, breathy as your body floods with heat, but you swallow and dart your eyes
away from his face. “Actually... after this weekend, I think I’ll have a hard time focusing
when you’re around, so I should probably work alone.”

Jean snorts but when you look back up at him you see him grinning and blushing. “See? I
knew you only wanted me for sex,” he teases, dropping his voice to a low whisper. “That’s all
you’ve got on the brain, now.” He reaches forward with two fingers and taps your forehead
before you swat away his hand.

“God forbid I enjoy having sex with my —” you stumble over your words, eyes widening in
panic. Boyfriend? The two of you haven’t discussed labels yet, so you don’t want to spring
something up on him in the middle of the hotel hallway like this. Especially not after he told
you that he wanted to take things slow.

“My — my buddy,” you settle on, internally cringing.

Thankfully, Jean laughs in response, eyes crinkling in amusement. “Your buddy? Is that what
we’re calling it?” When you blink at him in confusion, he purses his lips together and
gestures vaguely toward his crotch.

“Oh my God!” you groan, rolling your eyes as Jean snickers into his palm. “Leave me alone,
I’ve got work to do.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he says, waving his hand in dismissal. He takes a cautionary glance over his
shoulder down the hallway and then darts his eyes forward to look down the hallway behind
you. You watch his face soften in relief before he leans forward to kiss you softly, one hand
cupping your face while the other slides behind you to pull you close by the waist.
Even after having sex last night, your breath still catches in your throat every time Jean kisses
you. Attention from him has always given you butterflies in your stomach and
(unfortunately) it's only gotten worse now that you've slept together.

“Don’t work too hard, ok?” he mumbles, lips still brushing against yours as he speaks.

“I won’t,” you respond, pushing forward for another soft kiss before he pulls back and stands
up tall again.

Despite wanting to spend more time wrapped in Jean’s arms, remembering Petra’s text
message gives you a spike of anxiety and dread, so you part ways with him after your brief
conversation to head to your room to work on your review notes. However, when you walk
into your room, you see that Pieck is nowhere to be found. So, you take this opportunity to
call up Sasha to tell her about the weekend.

“What happened?” she screeches, not even bothering to say Hello when she picks up the
phone. “Tell me everything!”

“You will not believe it,” you hiss, rolling onto your stomach on the bed and kicking your
legs in excitement. “Jean told me that he liked me!”

You have to pull the phone away from your ear as Sasha screams into the receiver —
whooping and cheering in excitement. You can hardly make out what she’s saying from the
screeching decibel she’s managed to hit.

“Oh my God! Oh my God! Congratulations! After all this time — I’m so happy for you!”

“Thank you,” you squeak, practically crying from how bright your grin is across your face.
“We talked about our feelings, figured out that we’re both on the same page, and then we had
sex.”

“I can’t even complain about that being TMI because I’m so excited for you,” Sasha cheers.
“So, if he liked you, why didn’t he say something earlier?”

“Basically, he said he didn’t want to ruin our friendship, among other things — but it was all
just stupid excuses.”

“Wow, that’s so lame.”

“Right?”

“He could’ve easily just said something to you!”

“Exactly!”

“Sooo stupid,” Sasha giggles. “Imagine hiding your feelings away like that because you’re
afraid of a little rejection!”

Sasha’s laughter makes you realize that she’s making fun of you so you huff in annoyance.
“Ok, whatever, Sasha. The important thing is that we’re here, now.”
“And Eren!” Sasha adds, shrieking again. “Have you told him?”

You shake your head, quickly adding when you realize she can’t see you, “No, I haven’t yet.”

“Are you still going to hook up with him?”

“What? Obviously not,” you say quickly. “I’m dating Jean now — I think — and he thinks
we should wait until after we’re home from Trost before telling Eren, so I’m just going to try
to avoid him this week.”

“Do you think Eren’s going to take it ok?”

“Of course,” you scoff. “We're just fuck buddies and he knows I was only hooking up with
him to make Jean jealous.” Sasha hums in response and you frown. “What?” you ask.

“Are you sad?”

“About ending things with Eren?” you clarify, even though you know exactly what she
means. “We’re not seeing each other, we’re just fucking. There's nothing to be sad about.”

“Sure, keep telling yourself that,” Sasha says and you scowl. “You guys are practically
dating.”

“What?” you say quickly. “Eren doesn’t do relationships.”

“Right,” Sasha scoffs. “Hey, what do you call it when two people exclusively hook up with
one another? For months?” She doesn’t wait for your response before she continues.
“Pretending you're just fucking, doesn’t mean you're not dating.”

“I can’t be dating Eren if I’m dating Jean,” you huff.

“Are you dating Jean?” Sasha pushes. “Did the two of you have that conversation? Or did you
just hook up?”

You stumble around your words, suddenly feeling hot with embarrassment.

“Why is that enough to be dating Jean but not Eren?”

“Stop it,” you scold, brows furrowing. “You’re trying to make me feel guilty about hooking
up with Jean.”

“Do you? Feel guilty?”

“No.”

“Right.”

“Where’s this coming from?” you snap, suddenly growing irritated. “You literally told me
three days ago to make out with Jean and now you’re making me feel like I cheated on Eren.
We’re not dating, he’ll be fine when we end things, and I didn’t do anything wrong.”
Sasha doesn’t respond.

“I even asked Eren what I should do about Jean on Thursday night. He told me he doesn’t
care. He doesn’t care,” you emphasize.

“You’re getting awfully defensive about this.”

“You’re making me feel like a bad person!” you counter, voice raising in frustration. “Sasha,
you’re not being fair. You can’t encourage me to make out with Jean and then guilt-trip me
about my relationship with Eren.”

“Well, Connie and I were just talking about it and —”

“Connie?” you repeat, outraged. “You talked to Connie about me? I thought you said you —
what happened to the Cone of Silence?”

“Not about you!” she clarifies quickly, and you can hear the panic in her voice. “Well, not
really! We were talking about Eren.”

You’re somehow even angrier that Sasha is gossiping about you and your — whatever he is.
“Well, what did you say?”

Sasha doesn’t comment on the venom in your voice as she continues. “I was just thinking
about how this is probably the longest that Eren’s ever been with one person.” Sasha sighs
from the other end of the line. “Eren used to be our friend, too — before the whole thing with
Jean happened. We miss him, a little bit, I guess.”

You can practically hear her shrugging as she sighs again. “A part of me thinks that you’re
good for him, you know? When you talk about him, he sounds like the old Eren I used to
know. Maybe you could like… take him off the No Go List and bring him back into the group
— Armin, too! The only person I’m happy about losing in the divorce is Floch,” and Sasha
makes a retching sound after saying his name.

You hum in response. It's difficult for you to stay mad at Sasha for long — the girl doesn't
have a malicious bone in her body, she just... says stupid things sometimes. You know that.
So you don't bother scolding her any further. She just misses her friend, you can understand
that.

Pursing your lips in thought, you try to find a way to change the subject, but you have a
specific question sitting in your mind after what she said. “Do you know why Eren and Jean
stopped being friends?”

You’ve never really cared about it before, so you’ve never asked, but after spending so much
time with Eren and getting to know him, you struggle to understand what could have
happened to ruin their friendship so badly. Talking with Jean's mom about it just left you with
more questions than answers and you're desperate to rationalize why the two boys hate each
other so much.
“Jean’s never told us,” Sasha huffs, annoyed. “They got in a fight at a party a while back and
haven’t talked since. I think you were at that party, actually — it was around the time the
Core Four was formed.”

“I talked to Jean’s mom about it a bit. She made it sound like it was something Eren did.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised,” Sasha scoffs. “He was such an asshole in uni. Him and Floch and a
few of the other guys on the hockey team used to do this whole Alpha Male-schtick that was
super gross.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t even really remember, to tell you the truth. Just being gross and hooking up with
girls, basically.”

“Isn’t that like, normal university behaviour?”

“Yeah, but like… they were dicks about it,” she says.

“Like, what do you mean?” you press, desperate to know more.

Sasha hums and you can picture her clearly in your head — eyes looking up at the ceiling as
she taps her chin in thought. “I remember Jean would absolutely lose it any time the guys
would try to pull shit around him. I think I remember him saying that the Devils would do
this thing where they’d rate girls.”

“The Devils?” you repeat, confused.

“Yeah, Floch and the other guys he lived with at Hell’s Gate — remember? We went to
parties there loads during university.”

You nod, recollecting a long-forgotten memory from years ago. “Right, yeah… what do you
mean they’d rate girls? Like how hot they were? That's not that bad.”

“No…” Sasha hums, still thinking. “I think it was based on how good they were in bed? And
any girl over eight or nine, they’d all try to hook up with. Share dirty stories and nudes or
something gross like that.”

“What?”

“Yeah, yeah!” Sasha says, and you can hear her snapping her fingers excitedly as she
remembers details from the past. “If one of the Devils hooked up with a girl that was highly
rated, they’d all try to hook up with her. Eren told Jean about it once and he lost his shit.”

“Is that why they’re not friends anymore?”

“No — well… I don’t know for sure. Like I said, Jean’s never told us. They just got in a fight
and then…” Sasha makes a popping noise with her mouth.
You hum in response. You’re not surprised by any of this information, especially after
hanging out with Eren and Floch and hearing firsthand how they talk about the women
they’ve slept with. In spite of that, it’s hard for you to see Eren as that type of guy. Any time
you’ve ever spoken to or hung out with him, he had always been really considerate and
respectful. That’s why you were so taken aback by his conversation with Floch — it was
almost like he was a completely different person.

“But anyway,” Sasha continues, snapping you out of your thoughts, “Sorry for stirring up
drama. I was just reminiscing about the past when all of us were friends and I miss it.”

“Yeah, that’s fair,” you hum. “But that’s not really my problem. If you want us to be friends
with Eren again, you’re going to have to talk to Jean about it. He’s the one that has an issue
with him.”

“Right.”

Just then, the door to your room swings open, and Pieck walks in. You mumble quickly into
the phone, “Gotta go, bye!” and hang up, looking over at Pieck as she regards you on the bed.

“Oh, you’re back,” she says quietly, tossing her things onto the bed. “How was your weekend
with Jean?” she asks, looking over at you.

“Fine,” you say curtly. You fiddle with your phone in your hands as you watch her rummage
through her bag. You want to tell her about how you and Jean hooked up last night — in
graphic detail. You want to tell her that Jean likes you and not her. You want to rub it in her
face that you won.

“He seems really happy when he’s with you,” she says quietly, and all your thoughts drift
away. “I’m glad.”

“What?” you ask, brows furrowing.

“Jean and I didn’t end on the best of terms,” she says, face darkening with sorrow. “I’m sure
you’ve heard all about it from him… I still feel really guilty about what I did.”

“Yeah, you cheated on him, didn’t you?” you ask, but it’s not a question — more of a
reminder.

“I didn’t see it that way at the time,” she admits, “But looking back… yeah, I did.”

She settles on her bed, crossing one leg over the other as she looks at you seated on the other
bed. “He’s a really good guy,” she sighs, looking away. “It’s nice seeing him happy again
after how hurt he was when we ended things.”

You’re not entirely sure where this conversation is going, so you just stay quiet for now.

“I’m a little jealous of you, to be completely honest,” she says, laughing a little. “I’ve always
been jealous of you. You’re beautiful and you get to see Jean all the time… I was really
threatened by you when him and I were together.”
You’re a little taken aback by her words. Pieck was threatened of you?

“You care about him a lot, right?” she asks, eyes darting up to meet yours and you
immediately look away. “I can tell from the way you look at him.”

“It’s none of your business,” you huff, hoping that she can’t see the way her words fluster
you. Suddenly, all of your confidence from earlier is gone as she gazes at you with those soft,
sleepy eyes.

“No, of course not,” she agrees with a sigh, flopping back down onto the mattress. “You seem
like a really good friend — he needs that.”

You don’t respond. Instead, you try to focus on avoiding eye contact as much as possible
when you see her head tilt to face you from her spot on the bed.

“I know I haven’t been very nice to you,” she starts, “But to be fair, you haven’t been very
nice to me, either.”

You scoff and roll your eyes, ready to argue, but she continues.

“I was young and stupid and I wanted to blame you as the reason why things didn’t work out
with Jean… even though it was entirely my fault, I realize that now,” she sighs. “But, you’re
not all bad — you can’t be! Not after the way you were there for Reiner the other night.” You
finally allow yourself to look over at Pieck as she sits up on her forearms, looking over at you
with a soft smile. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I don’t want us to fight anymore. I
know things aren’t that simple, but I promise I’ll be nicer if you are, too.” She extends a hand
out to you, “Truce?”

Your eyes dart down to her hand before bouncing back up to her face. “Truce?” you repeat,
confused. “Just like that?”

“It's worth a shot, right?” she giggles. “We work together, so we should probably get along.
Plus, we’re both friends with Reiner. We can focus on helping him if we don’t have our own
petty drama to worry about.”

You eye her warily. You’re not completely convinced that this isn’t some sort of manipulative
scheme to get you to let your guard down, but you look back down at her hand for another
beat before finally extending your hand to shake hers. “Ok, fine,” you say quietly. “Truce.”

She grins at you, squeezing your hand lightly as you shake hers. “I’m glad! I think you and I
are really similar, it would be a shame for us not to get along.”

There’s a knock at the door, interrupting the two of you from your talk. Pieck’s eyes widen,
glancing away from you to the door, before getting up and seeing who it is.

You stare at her with pursed lips as she approaches the door, confused by the conversation the
two of you just had, but before you have the time to think about it, you hear her squeak in
surprise when she opens the door. You sit up a little taller, craning forward to see who it
might be.
“Oh, Reiner!” Pieck says and your eyes widen in surprise. Why is he here?

“Hey, do you guys mind if I come in?” he asks, and Pieck steps aside to give him space to
enter the room. He looks over at you on your bed, and then sits down on Pieck’s bed, on the
side closest to yours. “I’m glad you’re both here, I wanted to talk to you.”

Pieck instantly jumps into action, rushing to Reiner’s side with furrowed brows as you lean
forward as well.

“I-I don’t know what's wrong with me. I feel like I’m losing control.” His voice is shaking.
His hands are shaking. His eyes instantly well up with tears as soon as he starts speaking and
you and Pieck both reach out to put a comforting hand on him, anywhere you can reach.

“What’s wrong, Reiner?” Pieck asks instantly.

“I’ve been working so hard and I feel like I’m not making any progress. I don’t know how to
handle the pressure — I feel like I’m losing my mind.” His words come out frantic and
rushed and his voice is shaky. He keeps clenching his hands into tight fists and then flexing
them out, over and over as he speaks.

“Reiner, we’re here for you,” you say quietly. “Whatever you need, we’ll help.”

Pieck nods, “Yeah, we’re your friends, Reiner. We’re here to support you.”

Her voice is soft and airy when she speaks, and the two of you share a tense glance as Reiner
leans forward onto his elbows, cradling his face in his hands.

“I’m sorry to dump this all on you guys like this,” he says through a shaky breath. “Just, with
the weekend ending and Hange coming tomorrow... I’m so scared.”

“I know what you mean, I’ve been feeling the same way,” you say quietly, brows furrowed in
concern.

“I just feel so hopeless, like I’m stuck in this cycle and I can’t get out of it.”

“Yeah, I hear you. It’s tough,” you offer, but you know it does nothing to help ease his
concerns. Just like last time, you’re at a loss for words. You want to comfort him, but how
can you do that when you’re going through the exact same thing, and you can't even comfort
yourself?

“How long have you been feeling this way?” Pieck asks, and you’re grateful for her chiming
in because you feel like you’re in way over your head here.

“Since the beginning,” he admits, “But it’s been getting a lot worse now that the deadline is
coming closer and closer.”

“Reiner, you need to take a break,” she urges, brows furrowing and face growing stern as she
tries to convey the severity of the situation. “You shouldn’t be feeling this way because of
your job. Don’t worry about what they think of you, ok? Focus on yourself — always.”
“I know, I know,” he nods, thumbing at the tears that slip from his eyes. “I just feel like I
can’t.”

“You always can,” you assure him, giving him a gentle squeeze that you hope provides some
comfort.

“Reiner, if you quit today, do you know what would happen?” Pieck asks and Reiner pauses.
He looks up at her with red, watery eyes and shakes his head. “Life would go on,” she says.

“Things might be a little tougher for the team as they shuffle your work to others, but Titan
isn’t going to go out of business just because you aren’t around to help,” she says, pursing her
lips. “Corporations like this don’t care about you, they don’t care about me, they don’t care
about anything but the bottom line. Titan will be fine without you.”

Pieck’s words hit you — hard — but you try not to visibly reel back. It’s just like what Erwin
said to you when you first started.

“Everyone is replaceable,” you say quietly, echoing Erwin’s words. “Titan will consume you
if you let it — but they don’t care. They only care about the company’s financial success.”

Reiner forces out a laugh but it sounds foreign and weak. “You guys are being a little
dramatic,” he says, but he swallows thickly and takes in a slow, shuddering breath. “You’re
right though, I know you are… it’s just scary to admit it.”

You nod, pressing your lips into a tight line as you regard him carefully. “Don’t let your pride
stop you from admitting you need help.”

Sighing in defeat, he shakes his head gently in his hands. “I don’t know what I would do
without you two.”

“Of course, Reiner. That’s what friends are for,” Pieck says.

“We’ll always be here for you,” you add.

Reiner nods, lifting his head from his hands to look from you to Pieck and back again. She
gives him a soft, sympathetic smile before leaning forward and wrapping her arms around his
neck, pulling him tight into a hug.

He weakly lifts his arms up to rest them on Pieck’s back, burying his face into the crook of
her neck and he takes slow, shaky breaths. You can hear Pieck whispering something soft and
encouraging in his ear as Reiner offers small hums of confirmation and you feel your heart
clenching at the sight.

Seeing the way she treats Reiner — the way she does everything she can to make him feel
better — you almost feel embarrassed for how angry you were at her… almost. Maybe you
let your feelings for Jean cloud your perception of her and maybe she’s not the evil villain
you think she is, but the fact remains that she was still rude to you for no reason.

All this time you thought that Pieck wanted to get back together with Jean — it seemed
obvious. From the way she flirted with him and the way she took any opportunity to attack
you… thinking about it now, you feel yourself bristle with anger. How dare she try to make
amends with you after everything she did? After she made fun of you in front of your
coworkers for crying at work?

She’s just trying to manipulate you, you decide. She’s trying to get you to let your guard
down so she can… you’re not sure — extract information about Jean? Whatever her intention
is, you’re not going to fall for it.

But you’ll be nice to her for Reiner’s sake, at least.

When Reiner and Pieck pull away, he seems to be a little more put together but you watch as
he palms away a few stray tears on his cheeks. Pieck sits back on to her heels but keeps her
hand rested on his knee as he takes slow, steady breaths.

He rubs a big hand across his chin, scratching at the hairs as he lets out another heavy sigh.
“How was the weekend with Kirstein?” he asks, looking over at you and smiling slightly, but
you notice that it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

You feel like there’s still so much more to talk about with Reiner about what he’s feeling
right now, but if he wants to change the subject, you’ll let him. Maybe it’s just a tactic to help
shift his focus to something else.

“It was good,” you say, unable to contain your grin. “I got to meet his parents and eat some
delicious food. Jean even made me one of his famous German Omlettes.” You can't ignore an
opportunity to take a dig at Pieck, remembering that she bragged about how Jean made an
omlette for her. You want to remind her that she's not special to him anymore and you notice
that her brows raise from this information and she darts her eyes away.

“That sounds like a lot of fun,” Reiner says. “His family is loaded. He invited the Scouts out
to his family cabin one year for a team retreat and I couldn’t believe how fancy it was.”

You laugh, relaxing back into your seat as the tension visibly dissipates from Reiner’s
shoulders during the lighthearted conversation. “Yeah, I knew he was rich but I wasn’t
expecting a full-on mansion and poolhouse.”

Reiner whistles in appreciation and his smile finally reaches his eyes. “Now I’m jealous I
didn’t get an invitation. Would’ve been nice to go for a dip in this heat — but I get it, the two
of you are close.”

You nod, ducking your head down to hide your blush. Close, yeah.

“Have you been talking with Porco much?” Reiner asks, looking back at Pieck.

“Just in the group chat,” she says. “You haven't been checking it?"

Reiner shakes his head. "I've been pretty busy working."

"I told them about your plan to take some time off after the job," she says, "So they’re going
to see if they can, too.”
He laughs. “Pieck, you didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to,” she assures, leaning forward to rest her cheek on Reiner’s shoulder. “We want
to be there for you… all of us. We could rent out a cabin somewhere in Marley — it’ll give
us all an excuse to unplug from work for a bit!”

“It’d be nice to get the gang together again,” he says with a grin, and he finally starts to look
like the same Reiner that you met on your first day.

Reiner sits with the two of you for a while longer for some lighthearted conversation. Slowly
as you talk, his laughter becomes louder and more genuine and his smile finally starts to
reach his eyes.

“Thanks for letting me talk with you guys,” he says finally, rubbing his eyes with the heels of
his hands. “I’m sorry for always being such a pain.”

“Not at all,” you insist, frowning. “You can come by any time, Reiner. I want you to know
that.”

“Yeah, ok,” he says, sighing. “I’m going to head back to my room now, but I’ll see you both
tomorrow.”

“I’ll walk you out,” Pieck volunteers, sitting up with Reiner and walking him the few feet
over to the door to let him out of the room, locking the deadbolt behind him.

She holds the door closed after he leaves and you see her shoulders slump forward sadly. She
heaves a heavy sigh before turning around, walking back to her bed, and flopping down onto
her back.

“I’m really worried about him,” she says to the ceiling. “I’m not sure what to do to help
him.”

“He probably feels really alone and isolated,” you suggest and she turns to look at you. “I’m
in a similar situation to Reiner, too. I have him and Jean and Eren to talk to about what’s
going on, so it makes it a lot easier. But Reiner only talks about it with me when he’s on the
verge of a breakdown.”

“Yeah,” she agrees, nodding before turning back to look at the ceiling. “I’m trying to be there
for him, but it’s difficult when work has been so busy. He really needs a break.”

“Do you know when he’s taking time off?” you ask.

“I think his plan is to put in a vacation request for all of next week,” she says with a smile.
“I’m not sure if that’ll be ok with management, but he really needs it for his mental health.”

You nod, pressing your lips together in a tight line. “What if you got some of Reiner’s friends
to come here to surprise him?” Pieck looks over at you. “He’s always talking about that Bertl
guy, and you obviously know a few of his other friends back in Marley… do you think they’d
be willing to come up?”
Pieck sits up on her forearms and regards you carefully. “That’s a really good idea,” she says
with a smile. “I’ll definitely be able to get Porco and Bertolt to come out! Maybe not Annie,
with her job and such short notice… but I think I can pull together something.”

Grinning she sits up, grabbing her phone from her bedside table before rushing out. “I’ll be
back! I need to make some phone calls!”

You wave goodbye to her before turning back to your neglected laptop, filled with open notes
from Petra that need to be addressed before Hange’s arrival. You groan and rub at your face,
wishing that you could be transported back to Friday afternoon when you were alone with
Jean.

You think back to your weekend with Jean and then your conversation with Sasha. Talking
with her always helps you put things into perspective and there was one thing in particular
that you can’t let go of: Are you dating Jean? Did the two of you have that conversation? Or
did you just hook up?

The two of you were pretty drunk last night, but you distinctly remember confessing your
feelings for him — and you remember him saying the same, too. Sure, you didn’t directly tell
him that you wanted to be his girlfriend, but after everything that happened… you are, right?

You kissed, you cuddled, you had sex, and Jean knows you’re ending things with Eren, so
there’s nothing stopping the two of you from being together. Jean said himself that he was
scared you only wanted him for sex, so surely he must consider the two you in a relationship
after this weekend — there's no way he thinks things are just casual, even if you're taking
things slow.

Not wanting to get stuck in a limbo of miscommunication again, you decide to talk to him
about it the next time the two of you are alone. You should’ve just talked to him about it
when it came up in the hallway, or even back when the two of you were at his parent’s house,
but you were too afraid. The two of you are best friends and now lovers — you should feel
comfortable having these kinds of conversations with him.

A knocking at the door jerks you from your thoughts and you instantly feel your heart rate
quicken in excitement. You softly cross the room to open the door, hoping that the person at
the door is the same man you’ve been thinking about all day, but when you open the door to
see dark hair and green eyes, you don’t feel disappointed.

“Hey, Eren,” you say, smiling as if your body isn’t covered in marks from Jean’s mouth the
night before. “What’re you doing here?” You ask, pulling the hem of your hoodie tighter
against your neck.

“I just wanted to see you,” he scoffs, feigning nonchalance but you can sense something
about him is off. “Wanted to… I just… Fuck, I’m just horny,” he says, uncharacteristically
stumbling over his words as his eyes focus intently on a patch of chipped paint on the
doorframe.

“You came over to hook up?” you ask, frowning. Of course, you’re not sure why you’re
surprised. “Look, Eren, I told you, I’m busy —”
“Then, we can just hang out instead,” he offers, pulling his hand from his pocket to thumb at
the chipped paint, making it worse. “I can keep you company or something. I saw Pieck rush
down to the lobby again, so I know she’s not in here.”

“Hang out?” you ask, shocked.

“Yeah, just like… talk, or something.”

“Why would we do that —?”

“I don’t know, it was just an idea,” he says quickly, cutting you off before you’re even
finished speaking. His eyes dart to the room behind you and he cranes his neck to peek
further inside, but you close the door a little to stop him from coming in.

“Is someone in there?” he asks, body stiffening.

“No, it’s just me,” you say, your frown deepening. “Eren, I really need to focus. I can’t work
with you in here distracting me.”

“Yeah, ok,” and his shoulders slump a little like he was expecting your rejection. “How was
your weekend?” he asks hesitantly, focused back on the chipped paint.

“Um, good,” you say, shifting your weight from foot to foot.

Eren nods but doesn’t say anything. And there’s this thick, awkward tension between the two
of you that you’re not sure what to make of, but it’s making it really hard to breathe and you
wish he would just say something to break the silence.

You wonder for a moment if you should tell Eren about what happened this weekend. You
already told him that you were going to confess to Jean, so he’s probably expecting to hear
from you about how things went. But for some reason, the thought of telling Eren that you
had sex with Jean is making your chest tight — you blame Sasha for filling your head with
confusing thoughts.

“Cool,” he says finally, and you sigh in relief, hoping it’s not obvious. “I’ll see you tomorrow
then, right?”

“Yeah,” you nod, “Tomorrow. At the boardroom.”

“And… after?”

For the first time since you opened the door, his eyes dart to you and you feel small and
nervous under his gaze. You swallow thickly, looking down at the ground before answering.

“We’ll see,” you shrug, “Depends on how much work I have to do.”

Eren nods, hand dropping from the doorframe to return to his pocket. “Ok, yeah,” he says,
and he leaves without saying goodbye.

***
Monday

Petra is nervous.

She hasn’t spoken a word to you since you came down to the lobby of the hotel. Her knuckles
are white as she clutches the steering wheel on the drive to the client’s, only loosening so she
can gnaw at her fingernails.

You, Jean, and Reiner exchange worried glances from your seats in the car.

“Are you ok?” you finally ask, leaning in your seat to try to get a good look at her face. “Did
something happen over the weekend?”

She lets out a big, heavy sigh, hand flying up to her mouth as she chews on her nails. You
notice some of them are bleeding.

“We’re really behind where we should be,” she says. “I spent all weekend reviewing the file
and comparing it to the budget and… we might not finish this week.”

Your eyes widen as you glance back at Jean, seated behind Petra in the car. “So, what does
that mean?” you ask quietly.

“It means we’re fucked,” she snaps, slamming her fist on the steering wheel. “We have a
deadline to hit and if we can’t get things done this week, we’re going to miss it.”

Petra brings a hand to her mouth and you can hear her teeth digging into her nails and she
continues, speaking around the tips of her fingers in her mouth. “I need all of you guys to
really buckle down and focus this week. I’ll see if Hange can review consulting’s work first,
but eventually, they’ll want to see our progress.” She winces, tearing a strip off of her nail as
you look at her in alarm. “This isn’t an excuse for you to cut corners. This is a clear, harsh
reminder that you need to be performing high-quality work at an increased pace.”

Great.

“I know you guys have already been working in the evenings on this file, so thank you — but
you need to do more,” she sighs again. “I’m sorry.”

Not only are you letting Jean down by being bad at your job and losing this stupid bet with
the consultants, but you’re also letting Petra down. You think back to your conversation with
her from last week about how she was trying to cover for you with Hange and you wonder if,
now that Hange's coming, shit’s really going to hit the fan.

You try to calm your breathing but it’s hard when your chest feels so tight. You almost feel
like you’re going to vomit — you’re so fucking stressed out — but you try to pull it together
as best as you can to avoid embarrassing yourself in front of your coworkers.

You feel a soft tapping against your shoulder closest to the door and turn your head just
enough to see Reiner's strong hand grasping you tightly. You can feel how clammy his palm
is from sweat and there's a small shake as he grips you — even just looking at his hand, you
know he's probably feeling just as wrecked as you are. He gives you another squeeze, firm
and comforting, and you reach your hand up to place overtop of his. The two of you squeeze
each other tightly until your breathing slows and the tightness in your chest loosens up.

The remainder of the car ride to the client site is a somber one.

The four of you exit the vehicle in dead silence, following Petra to the trunk, and waiting for
her to open it to retrieve your things. You exchange wary glances with both Reiner and Jean,
keeping your lips pressed together tightly when Petra slams the trunk shut and storms
towards the building.

The consultants follow close behind her, as do you and the other accountants, but you find
yourself lingering a little behind the rest and following step with Eren. He doesn't say
anything as the two of you walk together, he just quietly drinks from his coffee cup as he
walks alongside you.

You swallow thickly, feeling your heart race in your chest before you open your mouth to
speak. "Are we... friends?" you ask, keeping your eyes fixed forward.

"What?"

"Are we friends?" you repeat, clearing your throat to speak a little louder. "Like even if we
didn't... would we still be friends?"

Eren takes another slow sip, removing his other hand from his pocket to adjust the strap of
his laptop bag on his shoulder. His silence seems to drag on for an eternity until he finally
lowers the cup from his lips and says, "I don't stay friends with people I've fucked."

His tone is harsh and sharp and your steps stumble from the shock of his response. "O-oh,"
you stutter, feeling heat flood your cheeks. "Really?"

"I don't see the point," he says and you can see him tilt his head to the side to look at you, but
you keep your gaze focused forward. "Is that a problem?"

As you’re about to respond, you see Jean perk up in front of you. He stands up a little taller
and looks from left to right before whirling around completely, eyes brightening when he
finds you, and then immediately twisting his face into a scowl when he sees Eren walking
alongside you.

Jean stops, waiting for the two of you to catch up to him. Just as you and Eren fall in step
with Jean, Eren snaps at him. "What do you want?"

"Chill out," Jean huffs. "I'm just walking."

"And we were just talking," Eren says.

"Doubt it was anything serious." Jean scoffs and rolls his eyes and you watch Eren's jaw
tighten. "You're probably just bothering her."

"Bothering her?"
“Hey, relax,” you whisper with a sense of urgency, eyes darting ahead to look at Petra. If she
sees the two boys fighting again, she’s going to lose it.

“I’m fine,” Eren says smoothly, but the way he grinds his teeth reveals his irritation. "The
only person bothered here is you, Jean."

"The fuck is your problem?"

"The fuck is your problem?"

The two boys start to bicker about God knows what, and you see Floch and Oluo turn around
from the ruckus. You swallow thickly, feeling sweat beading along your hairline from the
growing attention. "Please, Eren," you say, and his eyes snap back down to yours instantly.
"Stop it. We're going to get in trouble."

Eren's jaw relaxes as he looks down at you, but his brows are still tight. He glances over at
Jean for a beat before huffing, storming ahead, and leaving you and Jean together.

Jean clicks his tongue in annoyance but otherwise doesn’t say anything and the two of you
walk alongside one another to join the others.

"I don't know why he's acting weird," you say quietly, looking over at Jean from the corner of
your eye. "I didn't tell him"

"You don't have to — he knows."

***

Hange arrives that afternoon and the nine of you work in a tense silence until 10 pm when
they finally allow all of you to leave — later than you usually pack up with Petra and Oluo.
Hange leaves first on their own since they have their own car, leaving you and the remaining
crew to walk down to the cars together in a somber silence.

“I need you guys to do some work tonight,” Petra says when you get in the car. “I know it’s
late, but Hange wants to do their review tomorrow and they can’t do it when we have so
many open review notes. It's embarrassing how far ahead the consulting team is compared to
us. Our end of things was supposed to be easier.” She pinches the bridge of her nose with a
long, heavy sigh. “I don’t mean to sound like a bitch or like I’m your mom or something, but
I’m really disappointed with your performance so far — all of you.”

You keep your eyes down at your lap, feeling like a child being scolded despite Petra’s
disclaimer.

“I know that you’re all still learning and that these technical skills don’t come easily, but I
had really high expectations for all of you.” When she returns her hand to the steering wheel,
she grips it so tightly you can hear the leather move against her palms. “Kirstein, you
especially.”

At this, you look up slightly at Petra with a furrowed brow.

“I gave you the extra responsibility of reviewing the work of your peers to help fast-track
your promotion under Erwin’s directive, but I’ve found that your quality of work on this audit
has been on par with everyone else. I expected a lot better from you.”

“What do you mean,” Jean asks from the back, voice tight, “Erwin’s directive?”

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” Petra says with a sigh. “We shouldn’t have this
conversation right now.”

“No, I want to,” Jean insists.

“Ok,” Petra snaps. “Erwin wants to push you through the ranks as quickly as possible. He
wants to see you in management… but from what I’ve seen these past few weeks, your
technical skills aren’t strong enough to push you along. You’re… honestly, some of your
work is worse than the others.”

“If I’m not good, then why does Erwin want to fast-track me?” Jean asks, but it doesn’t sound
like a question.

“You and I both know the answer to that, Kirstein.”

You find yourself with your palm pressed against your mouth in shock, processing Petra’s
words as Jean huffs in the backseat.

All this time, you thought Jean was picking up on things quickly — that he was getting extra
jobs and praise from Erwin because he was smart and excelling at his career. When in reality,
he was just getting pushed along.

You’re angry. Angry that Jean is getting special treatment when he’s not better than you or
Reiner. Angry that just because of his last name, he doesn’t have to feel worthless at work.
Angry that he’s been getting undeserved praise at work.

All because of who his father is.

You swallow thickly as you lower your hand back to your lap while a tense silence fills the
car for the remainder of the drive. You caution a glance back to Jean to see his gaze fixed out
the window of the car, fists clenched tightly against his thighs and jaw twitching as he grinds
his teeth.

You should feel bad, but you can’t worry about Jean right now. Not when for the first time,
everything is making sense.

Your work quality hasn’t gone down because you’re spending time with Eren — maybe after
the first night when you were overtired from staying the night with him, but the drop in your
work quality perfectly coincides with when Jean started helping you.

Because you made so many sleepy mistakes, Jean helped fix them for you that night in his
room and the next fucking day was the first day Petra looked at your work — the day that she
left you all of those review notes. And then that night, Jean came by your room and helped
you clear all of your queries.
 Every day you've felt worse than the last. Petra's queries have been making you feel like
you're walking backward — making the same mistakes over and over again and not learning
like you're supposed to. But you've been taking notes and you've been applying what you've
learned into every note. Back at the office, Petra was proud of you! You were improving! You
were on track to get off the PIP and keep your job!

The quality of your work is dropping because you've been getting help from someone you
thought was an all-star at work. Someone you thought was better than you. Someone you
thought you could trust.

You’re about to get fired because of Jean.

Chapter End Notes

Sorry about such a long chapter, but thank you so much for reading!!

Bonus Scene:
0 Meeting the Parents - revised scene of Jean and Reader at his parent's house

Sadly, I can't share a deleted scene this week because the snippets I have left have too
many spoilers! Maybe next week.
 Anxiety (e)
Chapter Notes

cw: Explicit language, hurt/comfort, angst, minor physical violence, explicit sexual
content (masturbation, vaginal fingering, oral, vaginal sex, dirty talk, creampie),
mention of domestic violence (a character implies that another character has abusive
tendencies)

Tuesday

When you excuse yourself from the boardroom in a panic with tear-rimmed eyes, Eren trails
after you immediately.

After Hange’s arrival yesterday, he knows that things have been much, much worse for you.
He watched your status stay Online on the work messenger app until well past midnight and
when he logged in this morning to check again, you were still online. Did you even get any
sleep last night? And it doesn’t help that Hange keeps making multiple comments about how
surprised they are that accounting is so far behind, it’s even making Eren feel uncomfortable.

He can see the distress on your face despite your best efforts to hide it by tucking your chin
against your chest. He doesn’t even bother to wait after you leave, to maintain some sort of
illusion that he’s not chasing after you — the second you leave the room, he’s right behind
you.

Eren silently grabs your elbow, interrupting your walk to the bathroom, and instead, drags
you to the main entrance of the Reeves building and takes you outside. He watches you take a
deep breath of the cool air, but it doesn’t seem to calm you down at all. Your breathing just
gets faster and faster and —

“Hey, come on,” Eren says, crouching down until his face is level with yours. He looks at you
with a soft, worried expression, brows knitted in the centre with wide eyes. “What’s going
on?”

Your lower lip trembles as you fight back a sob and despite the way your eyes fill with tears,
he sees you relax slightly when meeting his gaze.

“Things —”

You try to speak but it just comes out as a hoarse croak. Bringing your hand up to your mouth
you try to clear out your throat, but all it does is cause a few tears to slip from the edge of
your eyes. Eren’s hands fly up immediately, cupping your face in his palms as his thumbs
brush your cheeks. He wipes away the stray tears as you whimper in his hands, still
struggling to find your voice.
“Things are really, really bad, Eren.”

A quiet whisper is all you can manage, but Eren’s close enough to catch every word. His
frown grows even deeper as he looks at you and he can feel his heart breaking as you fall
apart in front of him.

“How can I help?” he asks, just as quietly.

You close your eyes and shake your head gently. “There’s nothing you can do. Petra’s mad
and Hange’s mad and I’m screwing things everything up for everyone. I’m going to get fired
and we’re going to lose this client and I’m going to be blamed for everything —”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Eren says, trying to soothe you as you ramble on and on. “It’s ok, you’re ok.
Just relax.”

His grip shifts from your face to your shoulders, pulling you close against his chest and
enveloping you in his warm, strong arms. He feels you crumbling forward into him, legs
falling weak, but he holds you tight against his body as you sob.

“I’m going to get fired,” you mumble against his shirt. Eren can hardly hear you with your
face pressed against his chest, but he holds you a little tighter and kisses the top of your
head.

Eren keeps you wrapped in his arms until your breathing returns to normal and your eyes run
out of tears, signaling to him that you’re feeling better by gently pushing him away. He pulls
his head away from where it was resting on your shoulder and holds you tight against his
chest as he looks down at you. He cups your face with one hand, brushing away the last of
your tears with his thumb, and guiding you upwards to look at him before tracing the pads of
your lips until you part them.

His eyes fall closed as he starts to lean toward you, but then he feels your body tense in his
arms, and you pull away from him completely. You push him gently with your palms on his
chest until the two of you are arms-length apart and he’s looking down at you with a frown.

“Stop,” you say quickly.

“Is this because of yesterday?” he asks, trying to hide the panic in his voice.

He was rude to you yesterday, he knows that. He couldn’t help himself after stewing all night
thinking about how you and Jean fucked this weekend. You didn’t have to say a word for him
to know — it was written all over your face when he came to visit you on Sunday night.

He’s never been angry about a hookup sleeping with someone else before. He’s never cared
before. But for some reason, knowing that you spent the weekend with Jean — probably
fucking all over his multi-million dollar home — makes Eren feel sick.

But he can’t pretend like he doesn’t care about you when you're so obviously upset. Even
though he’s angry that you left with Jean, he wants to be there for you when you need him —
he knows he’s the only person that can make you feel better when you’re upset like this.
“Look, I’m sorry — I was being a dick, I didn’t mean it,” he says quickly but you keep
shaking your head.

“No, no, Eren, we can’t.”

Eren bites his tongue to stop from spilling every thought in his head and retreats his hands
into his pockets to hide the way they’re shaking. Eren’s plan to get you alone failed miserably
and now he’s losing you and he doesn’t know what to do. You’re acting like you don’t even
want to be near him anymore when that’s the only thing he wants.

“Jean’s not… he doesn’t have your best interests at heart,” Eren says, soft and quiet. “He’s
going to hurt you.”

You frown, finally finding the strength to look back up at him. “You don’t know anything
about us.”

He doesn’t respond right away, his eyes scanning your face. “He doesn’t care about you.”

Not the way I do.

“You’re being an asshole,” you say, crossing your arms over your chest defensively. “Jean
doesn’t treat me the way he treats you.”

“Trust me,” he insists. “I’m looking out for you.”

“I don’t need you babysitting me, Eren.”

The way you spit his name has him stepping back with a frown and as much as he tries to
fight it, he feels his irritation spike. “If he cares about you so much, then where is he?” Eren
opens his arms, gesturing at the empty air around the two of you. “Where is he?”

“You heard Hange, we're behind. I shouldn't even be out here,” you say, and he can see the
way your whole body stiffens. “Eren, I don’t want to argue with you right now. I’m already
having a shitty day, don’t make it worse.”

Eren bites his tongue as he looks down at you. There’s so much he still wants to say about
you, about him, about Jean — but he doesn’t want to make your day worse.

“Ok, fine,” he says instead, throwing his hands up in defeat. “Are you good to go back inside
or do you want me to stay with you out here for a bit longer?”

“You can go back inside,” you say, turning away from him.

Fuck.

***

After work, Eren subtly pulls Jean aside while everyone is walking back to the cars. Jean
doesn’t put up a fight about it, to Eren's surprise, and the two boys linger in the hallway until
the others have gone outside. Jean is visibly confused when Eren looks at him, his own face
contorted into a look of pure anger and hatred as he grips Jean’s arm.

“What the fuck happened?” Eren hisses.

“What do you mean?” Jean asks, the crease in his forehead deepening with his confusion.

Eren scoffs, stepping away to run a shaky hand through his hair, pulling it free from his loose
up-do. He’s been brewing in his anger all day after his conversation with you this morning.
It’s taking everything inside of him not to completely lunge at Jean and shove him up against
the wall right now.

“You know exactly what I mean.”

Even though he already knows, he needs to hear somebody say it out loud. He needs
someone to confirm that the anger brooding in his gut is valid and isn’t just some sick
nightmare that he’s torturing himself with. He needs to hear Jean say it — out loud. He needs
to have a reason to have all of these fucking feelings that are making his stomach twist into
knots and his heart ache in his chest.

"Just tell me the two of you fucked," Eren says, and he's trembling in an effort to hold
himself back and he watches as Jean’s gaze lights up at the thought of taunting him.

“Maybe she just lost interest,” Jean sneers, looking down his nose at Eren.

“Are you really that fucking selfish?” Eren is breathing hard, like just being in Jean’s
presence right now is exhausting him. “You’re stringing her along —” Eren gestures down
the hall to where you’ve gone with the rest of your coworkers, “— flirting with your ex, and
then following Petra around like a lil’ lost fuckin’ puppy? You're so desperate for validation.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Jean scoffs, but his face starts to turn red. “I’m not
flirt— I’m not… I’m only focused on her, not any of the other girls!”

“Really? So that’s why you didn’t give a shit until me and your little girlfriend started
hooking up, huh? You didn’t even look at her until you found out I wanted her.”

“You don’t know shit, Jaeger.”

“Oh, I know shit, Jean. I know a lot of fucking shit.” Eren takes a step toward Jean, and he
desperately wants to throw a punch and knock that smug look off Jean’s face — but he takes
two steps back, restraining himself.

Jean makes up the space by taking two steps forward. “You’re so fucking entitled. Greedy.
Selfish. You think everyone is just like you: emotionally detached and pathetic.”

“Oh, fuck off!” Eren groans, dramatically rolling his eyes and throwing his head back. “You
don’t care about her! Where the fuck are you when she’s crying? When she’s upset?” Eren
throws his hands up with an aggravated huff. “You didn’t even know she was struggling until
she cried in front of you! Anyone with fucking eyes could’ve seen that she’s been having a
hard time! You’re not even trying to help her!”
Erens words have Jean reeling back with a scowl and Eren watches as he clenches his hands
into tight fists at his sides, like he’s contemplating throwing a punch. “You have no fucking
clue what’s going on,” he spits and Eren just rolls his eyes in response. Jean takes another
step forward until he’s looming above Eren and he jabs at Eren’s chest with his finger.
“What’s going to happen when she realizes what a piece of shit you are, huh? What’s going
to happen when she realizes you’re just fucking manipulating her?”

Eren scoffs and shoves Jean back. “Stop making shit up to make me sound like the bad guy.
You know the second things get hard you’re going to bail out like the little bitch you’ve
always been — you’ve never fought for anything in your life.”

“Now look who’s making shit up,” he scoffs, eyes narrowing. “Maybe if you took your head
out of your ass for once, you’d —”

“You know you’re just gonna fuck her over, right?” Eren goads, cutting Jean off. “You’re just
going to end up hurting her — real fuckin’ bad — and it’s going to destroy her. You know
that, right?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“You pretend like you’re this fuckin’...” Eren waves his hands in the air vaguely. “Like
you’re this fuckin’ saint amongst the sinners, but you’re just like everyone else. You’re just
like Daddy.”

“Shut up!” Jean grabs the lapels of Eren’s jacket, pushing him until his back is flush against
the wall.

Despite being winded from the slam, Eren gathers enough air to scoff and reaches up to grab
Jean’s wrists and squeezes them tightly. “Still got Dad’s temper, huh? You gonna throw her
up against the wall when she pisses you off, too?”

Jean immediately drops Eren’s coat, taking a step back. “Fuck off, I’d never lay a hand on
her.”

“Daddy didn't have to lay a hand on you to fuck you up.”

“You’re just saying whatever shit you can think of to piss me off,” Jean says, running both
hands through his hair as he takes another step back. “Just flinging shit and seeing what
sticks — we both know I wouldn’t do that. Eren, you can’t say shit like that.”

Jean takes slow, calming breaths, walking around in small circles as Eren steps off from the
wall and brushes off his suit.

“Yeah, sorry,” Eren admits, sucking his cheek into his mouth as he regards Jean carefully.
“Fuck, sorry.”

Moments like this remind Eren of his old friendship with Jean, the way they would fight and
push each other's buttons. They always knew exactly how to piss the other person off and
they did — constantly — just for fun. No matter how angry they would get at one another,
they always made up in the end.

But they haven’t talked — really talked — since their big fight. And now, instead of calming
down and laughing after going over the line, both boys find themselves in a tense, awkward
silence.

“You’re fucked,” Jean says, finally turning back to face Eren. “You’re obsessed with her. You
need to give it a break.”

“I’m not obsessed,” Eren says defensively, brows furrowing. “I just actually fucking care
about her and it’s annoying that every time I try to help her, she just talks about you. You
don’t fucking deserve her if you can’t even be a good friend — you can’t just pick and
choose what parts of her you want to deal with.”

“Bull-fucking-shit, buddy,” Jean scoffs, rolling his eyes. “If you really cared about her, you
wouldn’t be trying to mend all her problems with your fucking dick.”

“Jesus Christ,” Eren groans, rubbing his face with his hands. “This isn’t just about sex to
me.”

“Ok, whatever,” Jean says dismissively as he starts to leave.

Eren hisses, stepping in front of Jean to stop him from continuing down the hallway. “Look, I
don’t care if she has feelings for you — whoopdee-fuckin-doo, congratulations!” he says
sarcastically. “But the least you can do is be there for her when she’s upset. Why the fuck
does she care about you when I’m the one always trying to make her feel better?”

“Fuck you, Jaeger,” Jean scoffs, stepping around Eren once more to walk down the hallway.
“You don’t know anything.”

Eren reaches out to grab Jean’s arm again, stilling him. Eren is breathing so hard now that his
shoulders are heaving as his grip digs through Jean’s suit jacket. He wants to deck him —
completely bash his face into a pulp — but Jean’s face is taunting, Give her another reason to
like me better than you.

Eren releases his grip on Jean’s arm with a frustrated sigh, following Jean in silence with his
eyes fixed on the ground the rest of the way down the hallway and out to the parking lot.

“Is everything ok?” you ask, voice laced with concern as the two boys join the rest of the
group waiting by the cars.

Eren sighs heavily, looking up from the floor to respond to you — but you’re not even
looking at him. You’re looking at Jean — only Jean — just fucking Jean.

Jean wraps his arm around your shoulders and Eren watches your face softens when you look
up at him.

“We’re good,” Jean says, and neither of them spares Eren a second glance as they turn to
enter Petra’s car.
Fuck.

***

“Did you and your girlfriend get into a fight?”

Eren doesn’t even look up when he responds, “Yeah, fuck.” He keeps opening his phone to
check to see if you’ve answered his messages — maybe he missed it — but no, there’s
nothing. You’ve been ignoring him all day.

He groans, rubbing his face and leaning back against the pillows of his bed before looking up
at Pieck’s soft expression.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” she says with a shrug. She looks down and runs her palm across the
bedsheets, smoothing out the wrinkles with one large sweep of her hand. “She seemed really
upset today at work,” she hums.

“Yeah,” Eren sighs, letting his eyes fall closed and his head tilt back against the headboard.
From beside him on the bed, he can feel Pieck shuffling and the way the mattress dips from
the way she sits up beside him.

“Do you want me to leave? It doesn’t seem like you’re in the mood to keep going,” she says.

Eren sighs again, pinching the bridge of his nose between two fingers before saying, “Yeah,
shit. Sorry. We didn't need to meet up tonight.”

He tilts his head forward, blinking his eyes open as he watches Pieck sit up from the bed
completely, swinging her legs off the edge before standing up completely. His eyes dart back
to the phone in his hands, flicking it open to check the messages again.

“That’s ok,” she hums, pulling her sweater a little tighter around her shoulders. “We’re pretty
far ahead anyway.”

“We can probably just get this shit done tomorrow at the client's,” Floch agrees with a huff as
he slams his laptop shut.

Eren does the same, pressing his lips into a tight, thin line as he sees no unread messages on
his phone screen. He shoves the laptop off of his lap and onto the bed as Pieck begins to
gather her papers to pack away into her bag.

Pieck has been coming over every other night to finish up some work with Floch and Eren
for the consulting side of the Reeves Job. It was Floch’s idea initially because he knew
accounting was working extra and he was worried about losing the bet, but after today
they’ve realized that they don’t need to meet up in the evenings anymore. Hange is really
pleased with what they’ve seen so far, especially in comparison to accounting.

Besides, Eren hasn’t been able to concentrate at all today after his argument with you. Even if
they needed to get work done today, Eren wouldn’t be able to focus.
Eren casts another anxious glance down at the phone in his hand before looking up at Pieck,
“Hey, Pieck, I got a question for you.”

She eyes him warily. “Ok, shoot.”

“What’s so special about Jean?”

She immediately brings a hand up to her face to stifle her laughter. “I’m sorry?”

Eren feels the burn of embarrassment crawling up his neck, but he tries to stay confident.
“Like, what’s the big deal with him?”

“Um,” Pieck looks over at Floch nervously. “I’m not really sure how to answer that.” She
stacks all of the loose papers that she had strewn across Eren’s bed into a single pile before
putting them into her work bag, obviously uneasy with this conversation.

“You dated him, right?”

“Not for very long,” she clarifies, following the papers in her bag with her laptop. “But,
yeah.”

“So, what did you like about him?”

She purses her lips, regarding Eren carefully before saying, “You’re serious.”

“Dead serious,” Eren admits.

Pieck laughs a little, looking up at the ceiling in thought and tapping her chin with her index
finger. “Well, I thought he was really kind and cute and honest. He was always really
considerate of me and my feelings and he was so caring and gentle.”

“Hah — sounds like a beta bitch!” Floch calls from his spot on the bed.

“Dude, shut the fuck up,” Eren snarls, wheeling to look at Floch who cowers in fear. “What
did I tell you about saying shit like that?”

“Right, sorry,” he squeaks, relaxing only when Eren’s gaze returns to Pieck.

She seems a little unsettled by Floch and Eren’s exchange, but she continues, “Jean’s not
great with communication, admittedly, but he’s vulnerable with his emotions and I found that
really endearing.”

Eren sends a sharp look to Floch, who is obviously biting his tongue to prevent himself from
saying another crass remark, but he holds it together this time.

“So, you liked Jean because he’s… soft?” Eren says, looking back to Pieck with his brows
furrowed in confusion. “I thought girls liked tough guys.”

“Sure, but the whole thing that you two have —” Pieck gestures vaguely between Eren and
Floch, “— isn't tough. It's mean. And it’s hard to have a real conversation with someone,
much less a relationship, if they have all these walls put up to prevent themselves from
expressing their emotions.”

Eren stares at Pieck blankly. “So, like… I have to cry?”

“That’s not what I said.”

“I’m so fucking confused,” Eren says, shaking his head. “But you and Jean broke up, right? If
he’s such a good guy, why didn’t you get back together?”

“That’s my fault,” she explains, her smile shrinking. “I wasn’t very good to him.”

“And what about now?”

“I don’t see Jean like that anymore,” she says with a shrug, packing up the last of her things
and slinging her bag onto her shoulder. “That chapter of my life is over, I’ve moved on.”

“Did you love him?” Eren’s question surprises even himself and he can feel his face burning
in embarrassment when he sees Floch staring at him from the corner of his eye. “How could
you move on if you were in love with him?”

She’s quiet for a moment and her face softens as she looks at Eren. “I didn’t love him,” she
says quietly. “I’m sorry, I can’t help you.”

Eren bites at his cheek, nodding as he leans back against the headrest of his bed. He takes a
cursory glance at his phone again and then sighs heavily when there are no new notifications.

“Are you worried about him and your girlfriend?” she asks, cocking a brow as she starts
packing her things.

“No,” Eren snaps, but even when he looks away he can feel Pieck staring at him. “I was just
curious.”

She offers a hum in response but otherwise doesn’t say anything. She starts to head out of
Eren and Floch's shared room, but just as she reaches the door, she turns back around to look
at Eren.

“She brings out a good side of you,” Pieck says, eyes softening. “You should talk to her.”

“I have nothing to say to her,” Eren scoffs, pulling out his phone and flipping open his
conversation history with you — still no response.

“Ok,” Pieck sings from the doorway before she heads out.

“I didn’t know you were dating that bi— I mean, that girl,” Floch says, tone deadpan as
Eren’s eyes dart over to him. “I thought it was just casual.”

“It is casual,” Eren says. “I mean, it’s just like… we’re not…”

“Pieck called her your girlfriend,” Floch continues, “And you didn’t correct her.”
“No, I guess not.” Eren presses his lips into a tight thin line as he stares down at your
conversation history — still nothing.

“You need to fuck someone else,” Floch suggests, leaning forward on his bed and stretching
his phone out to Eren. “Come on, don’t let this one chick bum you out. Message some girl on
Tinder.”

Eren glances over at the phone in Floch’s hand for a long beat before reaching forward and
taking it from his hand. He looks down at the girl on Floch’s Tinder.

Her profile says she’s a student at the local college taking business. He flicks through her
photos with narrowed eyes, they’re all mirror selfies in very little to no clothing — just the
type that Eren usually likes.

“She’s ok,” Eren says instead, still looking down at her profile. He scrolls down to her bio,
I’m really good with numbers. I can show you if you give me yours. She must be in
accounting or finance, Eren assumes.

She reminds him of you.

Fuck.

***

This is wrong, this is so wrong.

Eren feels sick but he desperately needs relief. He strips off his clothes, cock hard and heavy
in his hand, and steps into the hot stream of water from the shower.

He didn’t even bother messaging any of the girls on Floch’s phone. He didn’t want to talk to
them, he wanted to talk to you — but you were still ignoring his messages. He considered
charging down the hall to your room and beating on the door until you opened up for him, but
what would he say?

His body aches for you, it’s almost embarrassing. After giving Floch his phone back with a
shake of his head, he spent the rest of the evening thumbing through the photos you’d sent
him, each picture lewder than the last until he was so hard he couldn’t take it anymore.

It was that stupid fucking picture of the two of you at The Point that had his heart racing the
most. He could still remember the way your body felt pressed up against his, how cute and
pouty you got when Eren teased you, and then how soft and vulnerable you were when you
were resting against his chest in the car.

The sad thing was, he wasn’t even looking at them because he was horny. He was looking at
them because he fucking missed you. Scrolling through your Instagram photos wasn’t
enough, they were all so perfectly curated for your feed, all so impersonal. So he had to resort
to the nasty photos you sent for his pleasure — it made him feel like a pervert.

But now here he is: hand gripped hard around his cock, spit coating his palm, and eyes falling
shut as he pumps along his length, picturing you squirming and gasping beneath him, saying
his name over and over again Eren! Eren! Eren!

It would be easy to find another girl to help take care of his problem, but that’s not what he
wants. He wants to fuck you, but this will have to do, so Eren lets his mind wander as he
strokes his cock.

Fuck, he misses the way you scream his name. The way you bite your lip when he curls his
fingers inside of you. The way your eyes flutter shut when he rubs circles on your clit with
his thumb. Your pussy is always so wet for him, just after a little bit of teasing — he loves it.

He loves watching your face when he slips a finger in you for the first time of the night, the
way your breath hitches a little in your throat, and how your eyebrows scrunch together. The
second finger always has you biting your lip, squeezing around his digits tightly as your body
tries to accommodate the stretch, and it makes his mouth water with desire.

Precum dibbles from his tip as he releases a shaky breath. He runs his thumb across his slit,
smearing the slick across his swollen head to help lubricate the movements of his tight fist
around his cock. He imagines you staring down the length of his dick, eyes bright and lips
soft and puffy before tonguing his head, one hand working the remaining length of his cock
while the other cups around his balls. Shit, you were always so good with your mouth, and
you always knew the exact way to make Eren squirm and whimper for you. Twisting your
wrist, flicking your tongue — just thinking about it makes him shudder.

You always begged to taste his cum. Always begged to have him blow his load all over your
tongue. And he wanted to, fuck, he wanted to so bad sometimes. Especially when you took
his whole length down your throat until you were choking and crying around his cock. It was
such a fucking turn-on watching you deny yourself the air you needed to breathe just to
swallow around his dick. Fuck. If he didn’t love coating your messy little pussy with his cum
so much, he’d let you swallow every drop.

With a low groan, he remembers the feeling of his face between your thighs. Your soft, plush
skin squeezing around his head as he tongues and sucks your sensitive clit. He loves the
feeling of you dripping against his chin as he flicks you with his tongue. He loves the way
you tug his hair, like you’re not sure if you want to pull him away or pull him deeper — and
there’s nothing that makes him feel more like a man than the way your legs shake when
you’re close.

He starts to thrust his hips into his hand, wishing he was fucking into you, instead. He rests
his other forearm against the cool tile of the shower before pressing his forehead against his
arm, stabilizing himself as he fucks his own fist.

God, you made him so fucking hot and horny. No other girl had this kind of effect on him
like this. No other girl ever had him fucking whining and gasping in the bathroom with his
hand tight around his cock when he could be fucking them instead.

If it wasn’t for the fight this morning, that’s exactly what he’d be doing right now. He’d be
watching your eyes roll back into your head as he fills you with his cock, sinking into your
tight warmth. He’d have you laid back on the bed, caging your head between his arms as
your thighs wrap around his waist. Your nails would be digging into his back as he rolls his
hips against you, marking him up as he fucks you into the mattress, swallowing every moan
with his lips pressed against yours.

Fuck, you always take him so well — fucking your hips up into him if he isn’t doing it hard
enough. Always wanting him deeper, harder, more, more, more. And he loves giving you
exactly what you want.

He bites his lip hard to hold back his whimpers as the slick sound of his hand moving against
his dick fills the room, masked only by the showerhead beating water against his shoulders.
Eren feels his breath hitch in his throat as he tugs himself closer to the edge. He needs you so
badly right now: his fat cock stuffed into your tight little pussy. He loves watching the way
your body clings to his dick as he pumps in and out of you, coating his length in your slick
arousal, squelching and dripping every time he fucks into you.

And the way you squeeze around his cock every time he says something nasty into your ear
— fuck, it drives him nuts. You’re always shy about saying dirty shit in bed, but your pussy
loves it when he whispers every little filthy thing he can think of.

“Look at how fuckin sloppy you are for me.”

Squeeze.

“I wish you could see the way this pussy stretches around my dick.”

Squeeze.

“Be a good girl and cum on my cock, baby.”

Squeeze.

Eren’s breath catches in his throat as his fist tightens around his cock, and suddenly he’s not
thinking about fucking you anymore. Suddenly, he’s thinking about holding hands with you
while he drives. Looking at the stars at The Point while you sit together on the hood of his
car. Holding you close against his chest. Smelling your hair while he feels you relax in his
arms in bed. The way you laugh at his jokes. Seeing you smile. Kissing you.

He groans out your name as he shoots thick ropes of cum across the wall of the shower. The
white-hot pleasure of his orgasm overtakes him, legs trembling with each twitch of his cock
in his hand while his head is filled with innocent images of the two of you being together. He
can’t believe he’s cumming to the thought of you just fucking smiling at him.

The water from his shower beats against his back as he breathes heavily, trying to relax his
tense muscles.

He feels disgusting — post-nut clarity is a bitch. Jerking off to thoughts of you when he
knows you are sitting in a room down the hall thinking about Jean fucking Kirstein? He’s
pathetic.

He lets the water run over his chest as he catches his breath, splashing some over onto the
wall to clean up his mess. Fuck, what is wrong with him?
Eren turns off the shower with a sigh before toweling himself off. He still feels hot from the
embarrassment of jerking off to you. Not that this is the first time that he ever touched
himself to thoughts of you — far from it. But this is the first time he’s ever done it to
thoughts of… just fucking hanging out with you.

Eren needs to splash his face with cold water to clear his head. You infect his thoughts like a
virus. He needs to figure something out before the Reeves job ends this week. He doesn’t
want to lose you to that horse-faced fuck, but he can already feel you slipping out of his
grasp.

Fuck.

***

Eren can’t sleep.

He’s already spent half the night tossing and turning in his bed while Floch lays like a corpse
in the bed next to his. Every time he looks at his watch, he sees that another twenty minutes
have gone by, and every time he looks at his phone, he sees that you still haven’t answered
him.

Eren doesn’t know what to do. He’s restless and jittery, so he pulls the blanket off of his bed,
grabs his vape from the nightstand, and scurries into the bathroom. He shuts the door behind
him before flicking on the light — a courtesy to his sleeping roommate — and the flash of
the fluorescent blubs brightening has him shielding his eyes with a grimace.

He stumbles over to the toilet, lowering the toilet seat with one hand while he jams the vape
in his mouth with the other. He takes a few small puffs as he settles himself comfortably on
the lid of the toilet, blanket wrapped around his shoulders, while he thumbs through his
phone.

Like many other restless nights, he finds himself scrolling through his contacts until he finds
a name that makes him feel at ease just by reading it on the screen. He presses the call button
with his thumb before nestling his phone between his ear and his shoulder. It only rings a few
times before the person on the other end picks up.

“Eren? It’s like two in the morning,” Armin yawns, voice groggy.

Eren pulls a thick drag from his vape pen, holding the smoke in until his lungs burn, and then
exhaling the vapor from his nostrils. The soft hum of the bathroom fan fills the room and
Eren watches as the smoke is sucked up and pulled away before taking another long hit.

“I really need your help,” Eren whispers. He takes another long drag from his vape, unsettled
by the lack of comfort it provides.

“What’s going on? Is everything ok? Are you hurt?” Armin asks, panicked.

“I need help with a girl.”

Armin is quiet on the other end of the phone for a while and Eren almost thinks that he’s
fallen back asleep just as Armin says, “What?”

“Come on, please, Armin,” Eren whines. “You’re smarter than me, so I thought you might
know what to do.”

“Can’t this wait?”

“No, it can’t.”

Armin sighs heavily. “Fine. What is it?”

Eren takes a long drag from his vape in hopes that it will help calm his shaking and exhales
as he asks, “How do you know if you’re in love?”

“What?”

Eren is grateful this conversation is over the phone as he feels his face burn in
embarrassment. This is somehow worse than the conversation he had with Pieck earlier this
evening. “I just need some advice, Armin.”

“Ok.” Eren can hear Armin shuffling on the other end of the line, and he knows that Armin is
probably sitting upright in bed now as the gears in his head turn. “Why do you think you’re
in love?”

“That’s not what I said,” Eren says sharply, coughing around his last drag. “I asked you, how
do you know?”

Armin sighs and Eren can easily picture him pinching the bridge of his nose, eyes closed, as
he tries to think up a response.

“Well, there’s love and there’s lust. Lust is just a physical, sexual attraction toward another
person where love has a deeper, emotional component,” Armin starts. “Like, for example,
you’ve probably experienced lust with the people you’ve hooked up with in the past. A
blinding attraction that makes… uh… that makes you want to touch each other.”

“Right,” Eren nods. “Ok, I get that.”

“But love is something a lot deeper than just physical attraction. Obviously, there’s usually a
component of sexual attraction with romantic love, but it’s not the driving force behind your
feelings.”

“What does that mean?” Eren says, shifting the phone from one ear to the other.

“Like… you start to think about the other person more in your day-to-day life. Worrying
about them if you know they had a bad day, wanting to spend time with them without having
sex… maybe there’s a component of jealousy, too, where you worry about potential threats to
your relationship.”
Eren doesn’t like hearing this. Everything Armin says has him thinking about you and it’s
making his chest tighten and his breathing fall shallow. He takes another pull from his vape
before setting it aside on the counter — it’s doing nothing at this point but making him more
anxious.

“Does that help, Eren?” Armin asks.

“What do you do if you’re in love with someone?”

Armin stammers a little but recovers by clearing his throat. “Well, you should tell them.”

Eren finds himself clutching at his shirt above his heart as if it can soothe the ache he feels
inside his chest when he thinks about doing that with you. “What if you don’t know if they
feel the same way?”

Armin hums. “I think love is always risky. There’s always a chance that the person you’re in
love with doesn’t feel the same way, or even if they do… they might end up hurting you. I
think that’s what makes love so beautiful, even if it doesn’t work out. It’s an opportunity to be
vulnerable and to open yourself to hurt, but trusting that the other person will be kind.”

Nothing that Armin says is making Eren feel better. If anything, he’s just more confused and
frustrated. “You’re not making sense,” Eren snaps. “Why would getting hurt be good?”

“Eren, it’s two in the morning. I don’t have the mental capacity right now to talk about the
depths of being in love,” Armin says with a groan. “I have work in the morning I —”

“What if it hurts?” Eren says quickly, just blurting out the words as he clutches at his shirt.

“What hurts?”

“My heart,” he says quietly and suddenly he feels really really sad. “My heart really hurts
when I think about her. Even talking like this I —” Eren cuts himself off, afraid of what he
might say next.

“Oh, Eren.” Armin’s voice is soft and sympathetic but he doesn’t say anything more. Eren
swallows back a lump in his throat and tries to ignore the way his eyes feel like they’re
burning. “What are you afraid of?” Armin asks quietly.

“I don’t know,” he says, gaze focused on the tiled floor of the bathroom. “I’m just scared.
I’ve never felt like this — I want her to know and I want her to feel the same.” He runs a
hand over his face. “But… I don’t know if she does.”

“What do you guys talk about when you’re together?”

“Work, mostly. She’s really stressed out because the higher-ups are breathing down her neck
about this job, so I’ve been trying to keep her calm but it’s getting harder because she’s
getting so overwhelmed.” Eren’s heart aches for you, he wishes there was something he could
do to make you feel better. “She’s been struggling for a really long time and I just wish I
could do more for her.”
“Just work?” Armin prys.

“Oh, and she talks about this other guy a lot.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, she says in love with this other guy, so her and I are hooking up because she thinks
it’ll make him jealous.” Eren scoffs and rolls his eyes. “I told her it was a stupid fucking plan
but, funny enough, I think it’s working.”

Armin pauses for a moment and Eren can hear his blankets shifting from the other end of the
line. “Do you want her to be happy?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“She’s in love with someone else, and you know that… why would you confuse her by
telling her your feelings?” Eren scowls, but Armin continues, “She told you upfront that she
just wanted to hook up with you to make this other guy jealous, right?”

“Yeah.”

“And you agreed to that?”

“Well, yeah… I didn’t think I was going to start feeling this way — how could I have
expected something like this? This is totally new to me!”

“You loving her isn’t enough to make her ever love you back, it just doesn’t work that way,”
Armin says bluntly. “If you really love this girl, you need to trust that she knows what’s best
for her, and that sounds like that’s finding love with someone else.”

“That’s not what you said earlier,” Eren frowns. “You told me I should confess.”

“That was before I knew she loved someone else,” Armin says with a sigh. “Telling her you
love her when she has feeling for someone else is disrespectful.”

Eren sighs and cradles his head in his hands, feeling worse than he ever has. “I want her to be
happy, obviously, but I want her to be happy with me.”

“You don’t get to choose how other people feel and you can’t force them to feel something
they don’t,” Armin says. “You’ve been seeing this girl for months and she’s still talking to
you about this other guy? It sounds to me like she’s not interested.”

“But she is!” Eren insists. “She’ll go see him and then immediately run to me and have sex.
If she really liked Jean, then why the fuck would she still keep sleeping with me?”

“Oh, this is about Jean’s roommate?”

“That’s the girl,” he says, allowing a soft smile to grow across his face.

Armin groans. “You’re not serious, are you?”

“Dead fuckin’ serious.”

“I thought you were only seeing this girl to make Jean mad,” Eren can practically hear
Armin’s disapproving frown through the phone. “You know, if you apologized to him, the
two of you could be friends again. The two of you are acting like children.”

“Fuck that, I didn’t do anything wrong,” Eren insists, lips pressed into a tight frown. “He’s
the one that crossed the line. I don’t even want to be his friend anymore.”

Armin huffs, “Why can’t you do the mature thing and take responsibility for your actions for
once? You could be the bigger person, but instead you —”

“Armin, fuck off,” Eren groans, dismissing the conversation. “It doesn’t matter why I started
seeing her —”

“Actually, yes, it does,” Armin says, cutting Eren off. “Let’s say that she decides that she has
feelings for you, too.”

“Ok.”

“If she finds out that the reason why you started seeing her in the first place was to get back
at Jean… don’t you think she’d be kind of upset?”

“No,” Eren answers. “That doesn’t matter.”

“You manipulated her,” Armin says plainly. “You used her for your own selfish gain.”

“Yeah, but… it’s not like that anymore.”

“But that was your intention,” Armin says sternly. “How can she believe anything that you
say to her if she finds out that your relationship was built on a lie? What if she finds out about
the things you did?”

“I didn’t do anything to her! I would never!” Eren realizes he’s starting to yell and curls into
himself on his seat. “I wouldn’t… not with her.”

“What about the things you said, Eren?” Armin says and Eren instantly clenches his jaw.

“It’s the same fucking shit that she’s doing with Jean!” Eren hisses. “She’s sleeping with me
to make him jealous!”

“Eren,” Armin scolds, and Eren shuts his mouth, exhaling heavily through his nostrils. “You
know it’s not the same.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying…” Armin starts, “She may not be forgiving of your actions.”

“It was in the past,” Eren scoffs, pulling a loose string on his blanket.
“Just because it happened in the past doesn’t mean it’s not important,” Armin says quietly.
“There’s a chance that she’ll be ok with it… but you need to tell her and give her the
opportunity to decide for herself.”

“I don’t like that,” Eren says childishly.

“And you have to prove that you’ve changed.”

“I have!” Eren groans, covering his face with his palm. “She makes me want to be better
because she deserves the best.”

Armin doesn’t say anything in response and sitting in silence while Eren’s words hang in the
air makes Eren feel even more anxious and jittery. He considers just hanging up and going to
bed, but then Armin says, “Then be better, Eren. Not just for her, but for anyone else that
comes after.”

“I don’t want there to be anyone else,” Eren snaps. “She’s making a mistake by choosing
Jean, I’m just trying to help her. She should see that after spending the weekend with his
parents.”

“There’s nothing wrong with Jean,” Armin says, confused. “Just because the two of you are
fighting —”

“It’s not just that, Armin,” Eren says quickly. “Why do you think Jean can’t keep a girlfriend?
It’s because he never tries. He’s so used to getting everything spoonfed to him that he doesn’t
know how to handle it when things get hard.”

“Eren,” Armin scolds. “Doesn’t that sound familiar? You haven’t dated anyone seriously,
either.”

“But I’m not trying to!”

“But why not?” Armin insists. “Jean has his flaws, but so do you, Eren. You’re so scared of
getting hurt that you don’t let people in. You claim you’re in love with this girl, but have you
ever even talked to her?”

Eren scoffs. “Of course, I’ve talked to her, Armin. What do you think we do when we’re
together?”

“I mean about you,” Armin clarifies. “Does she know about your family?”

“No,” he says quickly, tugging his blanket tighter around his shoulders.

“Jean is letting her in,” Armin says, and his words make Eren’s heart twist in his chest. “You
said she spent the weekend with him, right? You know how much Jean struggles with his
family, but he still let her meet them.”

“Right… but —” Eren groans. “Stop comparing me with Jean, we’re different. If Jean wants
to show off how dysfunctional his family is, then great. But I’m not going to do that.”
“If you date this girl — or anyone, for that matter— are you just going to pretend like your
dad doesn’t exist? What about Zeke? And your mom —”

“Stop,” Eren hisses, clenching his eyes shut tightly. “She doesn’t need to know about them.”

Armin sighs heavily. “If she ends up with Jean, what are you going to do?”

“Jean doesn’t love her,” Eren says. “Jean doesn’t even like her, I think. I feel like Jean’s just
using her to get back at me. It’s not fair to her.”

“Do you really think that’s true?” Armin asks softly. “Jean’s been friends with her for years…
I don’t think he’s doing this because of you.”

“How can you say that?” Eren says, angry. “You said I should tell her. You said it’s worth the
risk. And now you’re telling me I should just stay quiet because I don’t deserve her?”

“Eren,” Armin says, slow and calm in contrast to Eren’s angry outburst. “You just want me to
tell you what you want to hear, but I'm telling you what you need to hear.”

Eren grumbles and curls his arms around his knees. He doesn’t respond, opting instead to
pout on the lid of the toilet and ignore Armin’s words.

“There’s nothing you can do here, Eren,” Armin says as Eren clenches his eyes shut tightly.
“You can’t change her feelings and if you try you’d just come across as —”

“Pathetic,” Eren says, “I know.”

“You’re already pathetic.”

“Thanks, Armin,” Eren says sarcastically.

Fuck.
 Hot Flashes (e)
Chapter Notes

cw: Explicit language, angst, explicit sexual content (oral sex, fingering, vaginal sex,
multiple orgasms, facial, dirty talk)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Wednesday

Hey, do you wanna come over?

Pieck is gone

It was another brutal day at work. Hange was leaving review notes on everything you already
cleared with Petra, asking for more details, more documentation, and more work. Even after
you started clearing all the notes yourself, without Jean’s help, you’re still getting query after
query and it’s demoralizing. You feel sick to your stomach and you just need to be held and
comforted for a few hours until Pieck gets back from her nightly walk.

You’re interrupted from your thoughts by a knocking at your hotel room door. You jump up
quickly from your place on the bed, fixing your outfit and your hair before heading to the
door to greet your visitor. You swing the door open with a smile, head already craned up to
look up at the man on the other side.

“Hey,” he says, smiling down at you. He reaches out to wrap his hand around your waist,
taking a cautionary glance in the hallway for any prying eyes before leaning down and
pressing a soft kiss against your lips. Your heart flutters and your stomach flips when you feel
his body pressed against yours.

“Hi Jean,” you say breathlessly against him. You clutch at his shirt tightly, pulling him inside
with you and shutting the door behind him. “Thanks for coming.”

“Of course,” he hums, wrapping both arms around you and lifting you up off the ground.
Instinctively, your legs wrap around his waist as you clutch at his shoulders, and you allow
him to walk you back over to your bed.

He sits down on your bed, scootching around until he can comfortably lean his back against
your pillows before he shifts his hands down to your waist. “How are things going?” he asks
softly, brushing his lips against your temple.

“I’m really stressed out,” you admit and the thought of work has your heart racing in your
chest. You lean your forehead against his shoulder and take slow, shaky breaths to try to
relax. “I’m pretty confident that I’m getting fired when we get back from Trost.”
He rubs comforting circles on your back as he presses his chin against your head. “Shit, I
know that’s probably really scary.”

“Yeah,” you sigh heavily. “I don’t know what I’m going to do if I get fired. What would I
even put on my resume?”

“Maybe it’s for the best,” Jean suggests, squeezing you a little tighter. “I feel like you’ve
been in this constant state of stress all this time. You should just take some time off and chill
out — be unemployed, have fun.”

You scoff. “I can’t really afford to do something like that.”

“Sure you can,” Jean says, kissing the top of your head. “You’ve always been good at saving,
haven’t you? I bet you have lots squirreled away.”

“Not enough to be unemployed.”

“Not forever,” Jean laughs. “Just for a couple of months or something.”

“Months?” you reply incredulously. “You think I have enough saved to be unemployed for
months? You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“I don’t know,” Jean shrugs. “I can always help you out, too — if you need it.”

You hum in dismissal, lifting your head up off of his shoulder to look at his face. Jean has
always been vocal about you leaving Titan. He’s always said that you shouldn’t stay in a job
that makes you feel so miserable. You wonder if his thoughts around this have anything to do
with the way Jean’s father has been pushing his dreams and ideals onto him.

“Do you want to talk about what Petra said in the car the other day?” you ask, and you watch
as Jean’s face shifts to a look of annoyance and his eyes dart away.

“No matter how hard I try, I always get stuck in my dad’s fuckin’ orbit,” he huffs, squeezing
your hips tightly in his hands as if to ground himself. “My whole life has just been stuck
living in his shadow.”

“It’s not your fault, he just has a strong influence,” you offer. “Maybe you could use it to your
advantage?”

“I really don’t want to,” he admits, looking up at you. “I’m worried that if I let one thing slide
then more things will slide and soon I’ll be exactly like him.” He sighs, running his hands up
and down your waist, gently dragging up the hem of your shirt. “I just feel shitty because
after what Petra said the other day, it sounds like I should be on the PIP, too… and the only
reason I’m not is because Erwin wants me to stick around.”

You nod, swallowing thickly as you look away from his gaze. “Yeah, fuck,” you hiss, but you
try not to let the resentment show in your voice.

“You probably hate me,” Jean says with a heavy sigh, and from the corner of your eye you
can see his face soften as he looks at you. “I thought I was helping you, but all this time I was
just making shit worse.”

“It’s not your fault,” you say, and you mean it — despite how angry you feel about the
situation. “I probably shouldn’t have accepted your help in the first place. Even if you were
really helping me, I wouldn’t be learning anything if I relied on you to get through the PIP.”

“But I want you to feel like you can rely on me,” he says, grabbing your chin and tilting your
head to face him. “I feel like I really let you down.”

“You didn’t,” you assure him, feeling your chest crumble with adoration.

“I can’t believe I’m a fucking nepo baby,” he tsks.

You laugh, happy to brush away the awkward tension from the previous topic of
conversation. “Hey, well, if you’re going to be Partner at Titan, maybe I will just bum around
and let you take care of me.”

He clicks his tongue in annoyance but his eyes are still crinkled in amusement. “Wow, my
dad was right about you. You’re just using me for my money,” he teases.

“Come on, I’d be the cutest little trophy wife,” you joke with a pout. “Don’t you think?”

Jean hums, leaning back against the headrest and letting his eyes fall shut. “Paint me a
picture. I don’t know if I can quite visualize it.”

You slide your hands down from his face, along his neck, and across his broad shoulders.
“Imagine this: you come home after a hard day at the office, kicking ass and taking names
with Erwin, to a lovely home-cooked meal by yours truly.”

“What did you make?”

“Steak, potatoes, and roasted veggies with a fancy garnish,” you suggest and he grins.

“Go on.”

“I’d greet you at the door in nothing but an apron —” Jean groans at the thought, tugging his
lower lip between his teeth. “— I’d help you take your coat off and grab all your bags before
guiding you to the dining room.”

“Are we still living with Sasha and Connie in this scenario?” he asks, cracking an eye open to
peek at you. When you shake your head he gives a small nod before closing his eye again and
relaxing.

“I’ll pour you a glass of my favourite sparkling fruit blend as you settle into your seat for
dinner,” you snicker, watching his face twist in amusement.

“But what if I say, honey, I don’t want to eat this tonight?”

You pause and watch as Jean’s eye cracks open again with a devious glint. “What would you
prefer, darling?” you ask in a mock posh accent.
“This looks lovely, but I think I need a little appetizer, first,” Jean nudges his fingers under
the hem of your shirt until his hot hands are against your bare skin. You feel yourself
trembling in anticipation as his touch roams across your torso.

“I put a lot of effort into this meal, Jean,” you say, pretending to be stern as his hands reach
up to cup your breasts. You bite your lip and suck in a sharp breath when he runs his thumbs
across your nipples.

“I’ll still have it,” he assures, and he leans forward to press his lips against your jaw. “But
you can’t expect me to eat that when you’re standing in front of me looking so sexy like
this.”

You lace your fingers behind his neck as you tilt your head back, allowing him more space to
pepper kisses along your jaw and down the side of your throat. When your nipples harden
under his touch, he gently pinches them with the knuckles of his fingers as he runs his tongue
up the side of your neck.

“Jesus, Jean!” you squeal, squirming under his touch. You rock your hips against his lap and
feel him growing hard beneath you as he sinks his teeth into your skin.

“What?” he hums, biting harder and harder until you squeak in pain. “I’m just having a little
taste.” He soothes the sore spot by running his tongue across it before moving to another spot
and repeating the same process.

Your gasps and squeaks turn into moans as Jean’s big hands continue to grope you. You can
feel your body growing hotter and hotter under his touch and your hips move needily against
his lap. You bring your hands up to tangle in Jean’s hair, guiding his face down until his lips
are pressed just above the neckline of your shirt.

He pauses. “Do you know when Pieck will be back?”

“I don’t care.”

“Maybe we should stop.”

With a desperate whine, you try to pull Jean back into you when he moves away, but he
easily deflects your advances. “She left like ten minutes ago. She won’t be home for another
hour, probably,” you huff, gently running your nails down in chest in hopes of getting him
riled up again.

Jean hisses through clenched teeth before grabbing both of your wrists firmly, stilling your
descent towards the waistband of his shorts. “An hour isn’t nearly enough time for what I
want to do to you,” he growls and your panties are absolutely soaked at the thought.

“What do you want to do?”

“I want to take my time with you,” he grunts, sliding his tongue across his teeth as his gaze
darkens. “I want to fuck you properly, the way you deserve.”
After this past weekend at his parents, it’s like the floodgates between you and Jean have
completely burst. You can’t keep your hands off of each other. You’re sneaking around to
meet up just to make out and hump each other like a couple of teenagers — it’s ridiculous but
it’s fun and it’s exciting and it’s with Jean.

To say that you’re frustrated is an understatement. At this point, it’s more of a blinding ache
between your thighs. You’re so hungry for release that you want to take full advantage of this
moment in the hotel alone with Jean.

“Jean, please,” you whimper, grabbing his hand and directing it between your thighs, but he
twists his wrist out of your grasp with a huff. “Come on,” you insist, staring at him with a
deep frown.

“I can’t stop thinking about Pieck,” he explains, looking up at you with concern.

“Excuse me?”

“Oh God, not like that!” he says quickly, eyes widening in alarm. “I just mean… I’m worried
she’s going to come in at any minute,” he explains, nodding towards the door. “Trust me, I
don’t want to stop,” he continues, and the way his face twists in regret has your frown
softening.

“Jean, I really want —”

“I know, I want it too,” he says as he gestures to the bulge in his shorts. “But I don’t think I
can focus if I’m worried about someone walking in, I’m sorry.”

You sigh and roll your eyes, settling your hands on his shoulders as Jean adjusts his cock.
“Fine, the mood’s ruined, anyway.”

“Sorry, really poor choice of words on my part,” he says sheepishly, wrapping both arms
around your waist and pulling you close. “All my blood is in my dick, I have nothing flowing
to my head — I was being stupid.”

“You’re always stupid,” you tsk and he laughs.

He leans forward to press a soft kiss against your lips, not even pulling away as he says, “I
promise I’ll take good care of you next time we’re alone.”

You nip at his lower lip and he pulls away with more laughter. “That’s so kind of you,” you
hum. “Are you going to jerk off back at your room?”

“Probably,” he says with a shrug. “My balls are so fucking heavy, I haven’t cum in like three
days.”

“Aw,” you whine, pouting. “You’re not going to save it for me?”

He sucks in a sharp breath through clenched teeth, reaching one hand down to squeeze the
head of his cock through his shorts. “You’re really not helping me get rid of this boner,” he
groans.
“I’m trying to help, but you won’t let me,” you whine but when he looks at you sternly you
roll your eyes. “Ok, fine. You’re the one suffering.”

“And I’m really suffering,” he groans, looking at you with pain, throwing his head back
against the headboard and letting out a slow breath before the two of you break out into a fit
of laughter.

You feel your heart twisting in joy from this blissful moment with Jean. To your delight,
things between the two of you haven’t changed after you slept together — it’s still just you
and Jean and your goofy friendship.

Should things be different? You’re still keeping things a secret from everyone at work, sure,
but should things feel different when the two of you are alone together?

You remember that the two of you still haven’t had The Talk, and you feel your heart start to
race in your chest. You told yourself that you were going to bring it up with him the next time
the two of you were alone together and you’ve been ignoring it in favour of sticking your
tongue down his throat — but now...?

You clear your throat, eyes darting away from Jean’s face as you gear yourself up for what
you’re about to say. “Jean, I…” you whisper, trailing off.

“What?” he says softly, bringing one hand up from your waist to cup your face. You feel
yourself leaning into his touch and letting your eyes fall shut.

“I have a stupid question,” you say, scrunching your nose and hiding from his judgment
behind your closed eyes.

He laughs, brushing his thumb across your cheek. “I’m sure it’s not stupid.”

“It is.”

“Alright, well, let me hear it.”

You take in a slow breath before blinking your eyes open. You look at him for a moment —
pained — until you say in one big rush, “Jean, are you my boyfriend?”

His eyes widen slightly and his brows jerk up in surprise. Immediately, you feel dread
pooling in the pit of your stomach. “Sorry,” you say quickly, swatting his hand away and
moving to scramble off of his lap. “I’m sorry, I knew it was stupid.”

“No, no, no — hey, come back here,” he says, leaning forward as you try to crawl away. He
grips you tight in his arms and pulls you back into his lap, but you try to avoid his gaze as
you grow clammy with nervous sweat.

“I —” he starts, cutting himself off with a thick swallow. “I…”

“It’s ok if you don’t want to,” you say, flustered.

“No, I want to,” he says quickly, squeezing you tighter. You finally allow yourself to look up
at him to see him staring at you with his face twisted into a grimace. “I want to — I just…”

Jean sighs heavily and runs a hand through his hair, looking away from you. “I do. I want us
to be together but… and I told you this before, but I just — I don’t want us to break up.”

You open your mouth to speak but he silences you with a firm look before he continues.
“You’re the only person I’ve ever met that’s liked me for me,” he says quietly. “Before you
knew what it meant for me to be Jean fucking Kirstein. You've always been nice to me and
friendly and… and then you met my parents and you found out how fucked up my life is
because of them,” Jean sighs heavily and then looks back up at you.

“And you still want to be with me?” he shakes his head in disbelief. “I’m terrified that I’m
going to do something to fuck things up and we’re going to break up… because that’s what
happens in relationships — you break up.”

“Or marriage,” you say quietly, looking away.

“What?”

“I said, or marriage,” you repeat, clearing your throat. “You either break up or you get
married.”

“I…” Jean stumbles over his words, face relaxing. “I guess… yeah, or marriage.”

“I understand that you’re scared,” you say, looking down at his chest to avoid his intense
gaze. “I’m scared, too, Jean. You’re like my best friend — and I don’t want to ruin that, but
also I…”

You look up at him, pained, before saying, “I really want to be with you.”

“Ok,” he says with a heavy sigh of relief, but there’s still tension in his shoulders. “Even after
finding out about all my shit? My dad… Titan… My whole fucking —” he gestures vaguely
with a heavy sigh. “The fact that I can’t seem to do anything without screwing something
up?”

You laugh and Jean fully relaxes with a smile. “Yes, Jean,” you insist. “Even after all of that.”

He’s practically biting back his grin when he asks, “So, does that mean you’ll be my
girlfriend?”

You grin wildly, suddenly feeling butterflies in your stomach from the way Jean looks at you.
“Yeah, Jean, I’d love to be your girlfriend.”

The two of you giggle excitedly and you feel Jean’s hand on your waist squeeze you a little
bit tighter. He leans forward to kiss you — just a soft peck on your lips — before kissing
your nose, your cheek, your chin… all over your face until you’re squirming and laughing in
his arms.

“So, trophy wife, huh?” he teases, eyes glinting as he pulls away.

“Jean, I was just joking,” you say quickly, instantly feeling your cheeks burn in
embarrassment.

“No, it’s ok,” he assures you, hands settling on your hips as his face softens. “Is… is that
what you want?”

“To be a trophy wife?”

He laughs and looks away, but you can see a faint dusting of pink across his cheeks. “Well…
specifically… my trophy wife.”

“Oh!” you squeak, eyes widening in alarm. “Um, well, yeah… not right now, of course!”

“Of course!” he says, returning your look of panic with one of his own.

“But like… maybe down the line or something.”

His face burns darker and you can see him biting at his cheek in an effort to contain his smile.
With a soft chuckle, he looks down at your lap, hands squeezing your hips a little tighter as
he murmurs, “Yeah, ok.”

“I thought you wanted to take things slow?” you ask, hoping to deflect some of the
awkwardness with humour. “And now you’re proposing to me?”

He laughs earnestly, eyes crinkling as his hands slide up from your hips to your waist. He
gives you one firm squeeze around the middle before wrapping his arms around you and
sliding you forward on his lap until you’re pressed chest-to-chest.

“You’ve been in my life for so long, it’s just so easy to imagine a future with you,” he says,
nuzzling your cheek with his nose, and your heart feels like it’s about to burst. “I do want to
take things slow, but everything just feels so natural with you.”

“Yeah,” you agree. “It does.”

You hide your tears of happiness by leaning forward to press your lips against his. The kiss is
soft and slow and as you wrap your arms around his shoulders to pull him even tighter, you
hope that he can feel the depths of your love behind every move of your lips.

But slowly the kiss starts to build heat and your hips start rocking against Jean’s once again.
He groans against your lips, pulling away to press his mouth against your neck. “You really
gotta stop,” he says regretfully. “Let’s talk about something unsexy.”

You laugh but slide your hips back to rest on Jean’s thighs. When he pulls away from your
neck you can see his cheeks flushed and his eyes darkened… but he wants to talk about
something unsexy? You pause to think.

“So, what were you and Eren fighting about yesterday?”

“When?”
“After work,” you hum, watching the confusion clear from Jean’s face. “You guys seemed
really upset with one another when you came out to the parking lot.”

“Oh,” Jean snorts, rolling his eyes. “He was being an asshole about you.”

“About me?” you ask, brows furrowed. “What was he saying?”

“He was getting on my case about stealing you away last weekend,” Jean continues and you
can feel your heart start to race. “He got mad when I called him out for being shitty and then
he just flipped out.”

You hum in response, trying to contain the burning flush on your cheeks as you listen to
Jean’s story. Why does it make you feel weird to know that Eren and Jean were talking about
you?

Jean tilts his head forward to regard you carefully. “He’s trying to make it sound like I’m
only interested in you because you were hooking up with him, but you know that’s not true,
right?”

“Yeah, of course,” you say, shaking your head gently.

“Then he was saying shit about how I’d hurt you. Like, implying that I’d hit you,” Jean says,
voice dropping to a hush. “I know I’ve got a short temper and I’ve gotten in fights in the
past… but I don’t want you to think that’s ever a possibility.”

Jean’s voice turns stern as he lifts his hands from your thighs to cup your face softly. “I would
never hurt you. Despite how shitty my dad is to my mom, he’s never hit her either, so there’s
no reason for Eren to even say shit like that.”

“Of course, I know that,” you say, scrunching your eyebrows together in thought. “So, Eren’s
just telling lies?”

“Lots of them,” Jean emphasizes, dropping his hands to your shoulders and massaging them
gently. “He’s so fucking childish and he’s pissed that his little plan isn’t working, so now he’s
just saying shit to ruin what we have.”

“What plan?”

Jean eyes you carefully before continuing. “Eren’s only sleeping with you to piss me off.”

“You’ve said that before,” you say, pressing. “But what do you mean?”

After a long pause, Jean sucks on his teeth and then asks, “Do you want to know what
happened between us? Why we’re not friends anymore?”

“Yeah, I do,” you say with an earnest nod, sitting up a little taller. “I think if I knew why the
two of you didn’t get along… if I had that context, then maybe I could…”

If you knew why Jean and Eren ended their friendship, it might change the way you see the
boys. It might make things easier to break away from Eren — because despite the fact that
you finally have Jean, there’s still a small part of you that doesn’t want to lose Eren.

You feel awful about it, absolutely sick, and the way Eren’s been acting recently hasn’t made
things any better. You can tell he’s upset about how you’ve been blowing him off recently.
Every time he tries to talk to you, you push him away, and every time he texts you, you
ignore it.

Although you knew things with Eren were going to end eventually, you feel really upset at
the thought of losing him. He’s been such a strong fixture in your life these past few months
and you’re not sure how you’ll be able to continue without him — he’s quickly grown to
become one of your closest friends.

You feel selfish for wanting to keep both boys in your life, especially when you know that’s
not possible. So, rather than admit that you can only have Jean or Eren, you’re hanging on to
your weird arrangement with Eren while hooking up with Jean.

You swallow loudly, turning your face fully to look up at Jean. “I want to know.”

He nods, pressing his lips into a tight, thin line as he takes in a deep breath through his
nostrils.

“Ok,” he starts. “It was after Pieck and I broke up, when we all went to that party after the
game in Marley. I was feeling shitty, but Eren was trying to cheer me up.” Jean sits up a little
taller, removing one hand from your waist so he can run it through his hair. “He was giving
me a really hard time about you,” he says. “He wanted me to use you as a rebound.”

You bristle at Jean’s words but try to keep your face neutral as you listen.

“Eren slinked off at some point to go talk to you. I think you guys were playing a game or
something, I’m not really sure.”

“Yeah,” you say quietly, nodding. “I think I remember that.”

“Anyway, I caught up with Eren later that night and we talked about you.” Jean sighs heavily.
“He asked me if I liked you and I said that I did,” he admits and you feel your cheeks burning
in embarrassment.

“Wait, you liked me back then?” you ask. “Back when you were with Pieck?”

He squirms a little beneath you, looking shy. “Yeah… shit. I met her around the same time I
met you and I was already kinda seeing her, but then I saw you every day at school and I
just…” he sighs, grimacing. “I know it’s really shitty, but you had nothing to do with our
breakup if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I’m not,” you say honestly, and part of you understands why Pieck was so jealous and
hostile around you with this new information. It sounds like she had good reason to be. You
try not to let this fact get to your head as you nod at Jean, “Go on with your story.”

“Eren was drunk and being an asshole, so he started making a bunch of lewd jokes about
hooking up with you and…” Even now, the memory of that conversation has Jean rolling his
eyes, sucking his cheek between his teeth in irritation. “He was being really disgusting and
disrespectful. He’s always like that and I always fucking hate it, but I was already upset
because of Pieck, and he was talking about you when he knew how I felt about you.”

Jean’s face softens when he looks at you, pursing his lips in thought. “I just… I felt so sick
hearing him talk about you like that, so I snapped,” he admits. “Eren and I have known each
other since we were kids, so we know where the line is and not to cross it.”

Jean draws an imaginary line between you and him, poking two fingers into your side of the
line. “And that night, we both fucking crossed the line and did some shit that really hurt each
other.”

He sighs, running a hand through his hair and looking away from you, back towards your
room as a whole. “He said that I didn’t deserve you, and after the things I said to him… he
told me he was going to fuck you up just to spite me.”

Jean’s words have you reeling in shock. Eren only slept with you to spite Jean? You
remember him saying several times that he was happy to hook up with you if it would piss
off Jean, but you thought he was just joking.

“He was going to treat you like he does all the other women in his life — maybe even worse
because of how fucking vindictive he is,” Jean continues as you struggle to compose
yourself. “I should’ve told you from the beginning to stop you from getting involved with
him at all, but I didn’t know how to say it without telling you about my crush and I was…
fuck, I don’t know. I was scared?”

He sighs and offers you a small shrug, running his hand through his hair once again when he
looks at you with flushed cheeks. “And then seeing the two of you get so close… I got even
more scared because I knew what he was planning on doing with you and I just… I couldn’t
just sit by and watch him use you like that.”

“Really?” you ask quietly, your voice just a whisper as you feel your heart clenching in your
chest.

Jean nods in response, thumbs brushing across your collarbones as he watches your face
carefully. “That’s just who Eren Jaeger is. He’s charming and manipulative and fucks people
around for his own gain.”

That doesn’t sound like the Eren you know. The Eren you know was always considerate of
your feelings when you were struggling with work. The two of you primarily had a sexual
relationship, but he never pressured you into doing anything if you weren’t feeling up for it.

He was there for you when you were an ugly, crying mess. He was there for you when you
needed someone. He was there for you… just because. The Eren you know is a good person.

"What exactly was he going to do to me?" you ask quietly, brows furrowing in confusion.
"Was he just going to sleep with me and then ghost me? That doesn't seem that bad —"
"No, no," Jean says quickly, shaking his head. "Eren and the other guys... they have this
group chat and..."

Jean seems hesitant to tell you and the way he can't quite meet his eyes is making your heart
sink into your stomach. "What's the group chat?" you urge, swallowing thickly to coat your
dry throat.

"Come on, you don't want to hear this," Jean says dismissively.

"No, Jean, tell me."

He sighs heavily, chewing at the inside of his cheek — visibly fighting with himself about
what he's about to say. "Allegedly... there's this group chat with a few of the guys and they
would share..." Jean sighs again, finally looking up to meet your gaze. "They would share
girls' nudes in it."

Your whole body breaks out into a cold sweat as you look at Jean in stunned silence.

"I don't know if it's real!" Jean adds quickly, likely noticing your obvious discomfort. "Eren
told me about it once a long time ago and I gave him shit for it, but I don't know if he was
just kidding around or what..."

“That’s really fucked up,” you mumble, mostly to yourself but Jean is close enough to hear
you.

“Yeah, shit, sorry,” Jean says. He shifts his hands from your shoulders to your arms and rubs
you gently up and down. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I’ll be ok,” you say, trying to look up at him with a smile but you’re uncertain if it’s
convincing.

“You didn't send him anything, did you?”

You don't answer — you can't. You feel like you're about to throw up.

You did send photos to Eren... videos, too. Has Floch seen them? What about the other guys
in the group chat? What if there are people in there from work?

“Sorry, I’m not feeling well,” you say, swallowing back a lump in your throat.

Something flashes across Jean’s face but before you can say anything more he nods. “Yeah,
ok, no problem. Do you want me to leave?”

“Kind of, yeah,” you admit and you let Jean help you off of his lap.

“That’s ok, I’ll just… see you tomorrow then, ok?”

“Ok,” you say softly, pulling your knees up to your chest and sighing heavily.
Jean sits up off the bed, giving you one last squeeze on your shoulder before standing up and
heading to the door. “If you need anything, just let me know… I hope you’re feeling better.”

“Thanks.”

He frowns, running his hand through his hair once before turning to the door and heading out.

It’s not until you’re alone that your heart starts to really twist in your chest. Your throat feels
tight and your eyes burn and you feel so fucking stupid.

How could you be so dumb to think that the way Eren treated you was genuine? You were
always just some girl he was fucking. Floch even said it to your face and you ignored it.

You feel like an idiot. You should be furious with Eren for using you like this — you've seen
the way he talks about women with his friends, you should have expected this.

But there's a small part of you that doesn't believe Jean.

***

Thursday

You feel like everything is crashing down on you.

Despite your small victory in becoming Jean Kirstein’s girlfriend, you’re still shit at your job
and now you have all these awkward feelings in your gut about Eren.

You can’t even look at him today. Every time you catch a glimpse of his hair in the corner of
your eye or you hear the deep rumbling of his voice, you feel your stomach doing flips. You
feel sick. You don't know what to think — it's like your whole entire life has been flipped
upside down.

You keep thinking about Jean's story about Eren. And that's what it feels like to you — a
story. A made-up tale about some stranger named Eren Jaeger who bares no resemblance to
the man you've spent so much time with over the past few months. The Eren you know is not
like that, and despite Sasha's warnings and Jean's warnings, and even Eren's warnings about
the type of guy he is — you've come to know him as someone completely different.

You've always taken Jean's side, no matter what. You've always trusted him and his opinion
and you've done everything you can to align your views to match his — but not this.

But you can't let yourself dwell on thoughts of Eren Jaeger when you're still being smothered
by work. After finding out that Jean trying to help you clear queries were actually hurting
you, you’ve been spending a lot more time on the brink of tears trying to keep the number of
review notes down. You feel like every time you close one note, Hange opens six more. It’s
like some kind of fucked-up corporate Hydra. It makes you feel hopeless.

Jean spends a lot more time with you and Reiner in the boardroom while Hange, Petra, and
Oluo meet together to go over the status of the job. He’s still working under the guise of
reviewing your and Reiner’s work, but after Petra’s bombshell the other day, you know
anything he does is just pointless.

He sits across the table from you and offers you gentle leg taps with his shoe from under the
table in comfort. When you look over the screen of your laptop to meet his eyes, he gives you
a soft smile that makes your heart flutter.

How can your heart be fluttering for one boy while your stomach is in knots about another?

Ugh, you feel terrible, but you know after tomorrow that things will be easier.

If, by some miracle, you’re able to keep your job next week, you and Jean will be working
together back at the office. You still intend to break things off with Eren — because why
wouldn't you? — and once you do, then there’s no need for you to see him again. Accounting
and consulting don’t usually work together, the Reeves job is just an unusual case.

It’ll be a lot easier for you to push him out of your head if he’s not around. Out of sight, out
of mind, right?

And when you and Jean are back home and can finally have a real, public relationship,
instead of sneaking around like this, then things will only get better.

You just have to make it through these last two days in Trost and then you’ll be in the clear.

You’re startled when the boardroom door swings open, practically slamming back into the
wall as Hange and the two seniors walk into the room.

“I just don’t understand how you can be so far behind,” Hange hisses and you see Petra
cowering after them as the three take their seats in the boardroom. “This isn’t a difficult
assignment and after the prep work that was done in-office you should’ve had more than
enough time to get this job done.”

“Hange, I —” Petra pauses, looking around to room to see every single junior staff trying to
pretend like they aren’t eavesdropping on the conversation. “I don’t think this is the place —”

“And the work that is done is shoddily done at best, disastrous at worst,” Hange continues
with no regard to the fact that the juniors Hange is complaining about are seated in the room
with them. “Petra, I know the quality of work that you’re able to do, why are you not meeting
expectations?”

“I have a new team,” she says, pursing her lips. “They’re still in the learning phase and
working on a brand new client isn’t a good environment to have that type of learning. It’s
difficult for them to reference past work when they have to reinvent the wheel for every
working paper.”

“This isn’t rocket science,” Hange says, looking at Petra from over their glasses. “Besides,
your team is a reflection of your leadership — I’m going to have to tell Erwin about this as
part of your performance review.”
Petra opens her mouth to dispute but then snaps it shut again, pursing her lips hard as she
ducks her head down. “Yes, you’re right. I’m sorry.”

Hange spins in their chair until they’re facing Oluo and he cowers under their gaze.
“Consulting seems to be doing well.”

“It’s not complex work,” Oluo says, waving his hands in dismissal. “And we’ve been
working late with the accounting team the whole time, so we’ve been able to get more work
done than we were expecting.”

“That’s very impressive,” Hange says, pushing their glasses back up on their nose. “I like the
solidarity between the teams… even though one of you is grossly underperforming.”

You swallow loudly and look down at your laptop as Hange continues to talk about the
performance of the group openly. You don’t even feel like working anymore with how
demoralized you are.

The best thing you can do right now is to focus on trying to finish as much work as you can.
You might be behind, but there’s still a chance to pull it together before the end of the week,
right?

You glance over at Reiner beside you for reassurance and you can see that he’s gnawing so
hard on his lower lip that he’s starting to break the skin. He’s visibly sweating and you can
see his fingers trembling as he types on the keyboard.

Well, fuck.

***

You feel like just a husk of your former self. You’re exhausted, you’re burnt out, and you feel
absolutely worthless. You feel like everything is crumbling around you and despite how hard
you try to make things better, it just keeps getting worse and worse.

Eren trails behind the rest of the group with you on the walk back to the cars, but he doesn’t
say anything. He wraps his arm around your shoulder and pulls you tight against his side, just
holding you close as the two of you walk, and somehow it’s exactly what you need right now.
But once the two of you leave the Reeves office, you stop walking, allowing the others to go
ahead a bit as you and Eren stand rooted in place. He looks down at you curiously as you take
a large gulp of air before exhaling with a full-body shudder.

“Are you ok?” he whispers. You can see pain etched in his features and you’re not quite sure
what he could be feeling so upset about.

You can hardly hear him when he talks to you. You feel like a shell of a human being. There’s
this high-pitched ringing in your ears that’s making your head feel fuzzy and your throat is
tight in a way that makes you feel like you’re about to cry — but your eyes are dry and you
don’t even feel sad anymore — just numb.
Despite the comfort that Eren’s presence gives you, you can't ignore the things that Jean said
last night.

You want Eren to squeeze you tight in his arms and tell you everything you need to hear to
make the aching in your chest go away. You want him to pet your hair and kiss your forehead
and you want to be submerged in his comforting vanilla scent.

But even if you don't quite believe Jean's story, every interaction with Eren feels tainted. You
refuse to let yourself be swayed by Eren’s charms when you’re in such a vulnerable state.

You shake your head and brush his arm off of your shoulders. “I’m really disappointed in
you, Eren,” you say, the words coming out calm despite how unsteady you feel on your feet.

He looks down at you, confused, and neither of you hears Jean approaching until he’s
standing next to you both.

“Everything ok?” he asks and you find yourself stepping tighter to Jean’s side, allowing him
to wrap an arm around your shoulders as Eren glances between the two of you, face blank.

“Nice of you to show up for once,” Eren spits, gaze holding on Jean’s face for a moment.

“You should head to the car,” Jean says, jerking his head back toward the parking lot. “I think
they’re waiting for you.”

“Sure,” he says, voice still cold as he glances between the two of you, eyes lingering on your
face for a moment before he walks past you both and toward the car.

You stay standing there with Jean, nuzzled under his arm, as you watch Eren walk back to
join the other consultants. Petra is quietly helping Reiner pack some boxes into her trunk
while the consultants all pile into the car, save for Eren. You don’t even bother to look to see
what face Petra’s making from seeing you causing more drama at work.

Who cares? You’re probably getting fired anyway. Part of you wants to grab Jean and start
making out with him here in front of everyone — cause some real drama. You cackle at the
thought — you’re really losing it now.

“Are you ok?” Jean asks, turning to look at you and he leans down until his face is level with
yours. “I can’t believe Hange said that shit in front of everyone.”

Now, you feel really, really sad. You’ve never felt this way before in your life — it almost
feels like you’re sinking into a void. You try to ground yourself by staring into Jean’s soft,
brown eyes but your heart just twists and twists in your chest until it feels like every breath is
coming out as a choked gasp.

Jean’s face hardens in concern and he rests both hands on your shoulders, taking a glance
back at the cars for a moment. You follow his gaze to see Petra and Reiner getting into the
car, but Eren is still lingering outside — staring at the two of you.

“Can I stay with you tonight?” you ask, looking back at Jean.
“You know we can’t,” he says softly, brows pitching up in his forehead when his gaze swings
back to meet your face.

“Why can’t we?” Your voice cracks around your words and you’re worried you’re about to
burst out into tears as you look into Jean’s eyes.

“Well, there’s Pieck and Reiner… we can’t be alone,” he explains. “I don’t want… I don’t
want them to think…”

“To think what?” you ask.

Jean frowns and rubs his thumbs gently across your collarbones as he looks down at you.
“Nothing,” he says finally. “Stay over tonight. I want to be with you… I want to be with my
girlfriend.”

You just nod in response, afraid to say anything else in case you start crying.

***

That night, you curl up around Jean’s body in bed. If Reiner thinks it’s unusual, he doesn’t
say anything about it. He just settles into the opposite bed with his back facing the two of
you.

Laying in Jean’s arms help. He holds you tight against his chest with his chin resting on your
head as you immerse yourself in his soft, citrus cologne. You try not to think about work
when you feel his palm rubbing circles in your back. You try not to think about how you’re
going to have to admit failure when Erwin fires you. You try not to think about how you’re
disappointing everyone.

Jean doesn’t kiss you until Reiner’s snores start to fill the room. He leans his face down to
press softly against your lips, deepening the kiss with his hand pressed against the back of
your head. When he shifts to roll on top of you, you pull him greedily against your chest,
needing to feel the warmth of his body fully consume you — but he pulls away.

Both of you glance at Reiner at the same time. Your eyes have adjusted to the dark enough to
see his hulking mass curled up on the other bed. His body shakes through every snore like it
rattles his entire being.

Jean looks back at you first, nuzzling your cheek with his nose. “How can I make you feel
better?” he asks quietly and you appreciate his thoughtfulness, but a part of you wishes that
he would just know.

“Do you want to have sex?” you ask, and you know you're just searching for something to fill
the emptiness you feel in your chest after everything.

You can feel Jean’s cock stirring against your thigh, but he cautions another look toward
Reiner’s sleeping form. “We can’t,” he says quietly, but he kisses just under your jaw.

“We can do it in the bathroom,” you suggest and you feel his teeth grazing across your throat.
“Will that make you feel better?” he pants, and when you nod he concedes. “Yeah, ok — let’s
go.”

Jean guides you to the bathroom from the bed by the hand. You squint and shield your eyes
when he flicks the light on, watching as he stands awkwardly in the centre of the bathroom,
looking around the room like he’s never done this before. His eyes settle on the shower and
he leans forward to fiddle with the knobs.

“Isn’t that a little obvious?” you ask, already feeling a little better as you laugh.

“I don’t want Reiner to hear us,” Jean says. His back facing you as he pulls off his shirt, then
his pants, and you’re shocked to find dark red scratches covering his back. You realize
instantly that those are from you.

“Oh shit,” you whisper, stepping forward to brush your fingers across the marks. Jean freezes
under your touch, only moving to look over his shoulder at you as you stare with wide eyes at
his body. “Did I do this?”

“I think I got you just as good,” he laughs, turning around to pull your shirt off of your head.

You glance at yourself in the bathroom mirror to see the dark hickeys and bites on your body
and you feel a little embarrassed.

“Come on,” he says, kicking off his pants and nudging yours down with one hand. “Let’s get
under the water.”

Jean guides you into the shower, shutting the glass door behind you as the two of you are
immersed in the steam of the shower. Jean stands in front of you, blocking the water with his
broad shoulders and back, leaving you naked and cold.

Before you have a chance to complain he cups your face with one hand and pulls you tight
against his body with his other hand on your lower back. He leans down to kiss you and it’s
just as soft and slow as his lazy kisses from the bed.

Your knees feel weak as you fall forward into him, moaning into his mouth and feeling the
way his cock throbs against your body, already thick and hard. He pulls you both under the
stream of water and you find yourself gasping for air in between kisses as the water flows
down your bodies.

“I really want to make you feel good,” he says against your lips. “I wish we didn’t have to
sneak around like this.”

“It’s kinda fun though,” you hum, wrapping your arms around his waist and pressing the pads
of your fingers against his back.

His kisses trail from your lips to your neck and you find yourself tilting your head back to
give him more room. Over the sound of the running water, you can hardly hear him as his
voice vibrates against your skin, “When we’re finally alone… when I finally have you the
way I want… I’m going to show you how much you mean to me.”
Your body shivers in anticipation and you feel Jean’s grip around your body tightening as he
twists you around until your back is pressed firmly against the cool tile of the shower wall.
You whimper from the feeling, back arching off the wall and tighter against Jean’s body.

“Is this ok?” he asks.

“Yeah,” you respond, breathless, and watch as Jean gets down on his knees in front of you.

“Just relax, ok?” he says, running one hand through his hair to push back the wet strands
before grabbing your thigh, lifting it up off the ground, and slinging it onto his shoulder. “Let
me take care of you.”

Jean angles your hips until his mouth is pressed against your folds, nose brushing against
your clit every time he runs his tongue along your slit. You find yourself gasping and
throwing your head back with a painful thunk! but you hardly have time to register the ache
before you feel his tongue press against your entrance.

“Shit, Jean,” you moan — much louder than you intend. The way your voice bounces off the
titled wall of the bathroom has your face and chest burning in embarrassment — so much for
Reiner not hearing.

If Jean’s annoyed by how loud you’re being, you can’t tell. He keeps dragging his soft, flat
tongue up through the lips of your pussy, vibrating you softly with every slow moan he
makes between your thighs. You look down at him to see his eyes closed, brows furrowed in
concentration as he focuses on his task.

He tongues all the way up to your clit, circling it softly before pressing a soft, wet kiss around
your sensitive nub. Your hips jerk forward involuntarily, desperate for more as he slowly
pulls away.

“Do you like that?” he teases, and now he’s looking up at you with a dark glint in his eyes.
He leans forward again for another wet kiss and you whimper immediately. “Does it feel
good when I kiss you here?”

“Yes,” you pant, and Jean leans in for more, leaving a trail of wet kisses from your clit down
the entrance. He keeps kissing you over and over and you can feel yourself coating his mouth
in your slick arousal, making the mess between your thighs even sloppier when you start to
feel his tongue teasing your hole.

“Fuck,” he groans, and you feel him slipping his tongue inside of you. It’s just for a moment,
but the second he pulls away your hips are chasing after him — desperate. He chuckles
against your skin, but doesn’t do it again — just trails his mouth back up to your clit. “I want
to kiss every inch of your body.”

“I want that, too,” you say in a rush, just a slur of words as your hips buck against his face.

He laughs again. “Have you been waiting for me?” he hums, lazily licking around the
swollen nub as you squirm above him. “I waited for you,” he confesses, eyes darting up to
lock with yours. “I haven’t cum since the last time I was with you.”
Your fingers twist tighter around his hair as you try to force his face against your body, but
he’s stronger than you and doesn’t relent. “I waited,” you admit, swallowing thickly to stop
from drooling as Jean’s hand slides up your inner thigh. “I want you to make me cum, Jean.”

He hums in satisfaction, pressing another wet kiss to your clit as his fingers start to tease at
your slick entrance. “That’s my girl,” he says, low and deep, and fuck you’re already so
worked up but that praise has you practically gushing.

You’re so wet he doesn’t need to spend time prepping you with one finger, he’s able to easily
press two inside of you and you let out another moan that’s much too loud. Your body curls
forward, gripping his hair hard to ground yourself when you feel his fingers rub against that
sensitive spot on the front wall of your cunt.

And then Jean wraps his mouth around your clit, tonguing you rhythmically as his fingers
pump and curl inside of you. You’re gasping and panting for air, body trembling and fully
curled forward to the point that if Jean wasn’t holding you, you’re certain you’d fall to the
ground.

You can feel him grunting as he flicks his tongue against you softly in quick bursts before
slowing down to gentle licks. He keeps bringing you right to the edge before backing off and
giving you space to cool off.

“Jean,” you whine, desperate. “Please, I need to cum.”

He groans loudly between your thighs and you can feel the vibrations run straight up your
spine. His brows form that familiar crease as he presses his face hard against you, tongue
flicking back and forth, over and over, as your cries get more whiny and desperate.

You twist your hand so tightly in his hair you’re certain you’re going to tear a chunk out, but
the sound he makes as you tug on his hair has you cumming against his face. With a stuttered
gasp, you fall back against the shower wall, slamming your head against it for a second time
as your hips grind forward into Jean’s mouth. You whimper and whine as shockwaves of
pleasure course through your body, making your legs tremble, and your mind feel hazy.

When your breathing starts to level out, Jean settles your foot back onto the ground. You rest
your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself as he stands up with a pleased grin on his face.
“Good?” he asks, and you feel your face burn in embarrassment.

“Really good,” you murmur, stepping up on your toes to wipe the smile off of his face with a
kiss. You can taste yourself on his lips and it only makes the dizziness in your head worse as
your pussy throbs between your legs.

You slide a hand down his chest, gliding easily from the water, before wrapping around
Jean’s cock. He groans into your mouth, pulling away just enough to say, “You don’t have
to.”

“I told you, I want to have sex,” you counter, “Besides, didn’t you say you waited for me?”
and you can feel his lips turning up in a smile.
“I did,” he hums. You feel him crouch enough to grab each of your thighs, lifting you
completely up off the ground until your legs are wrapped around his waist. Jean keeps one
hand hooked around your ass while he uses the other to half-heartedly wipe the slick from his
face before pressing his forearm into the wall behind you.

He shifts his hips back enough to allow you the space to line him up with your entrance, and
you brush his head through your folds for a moment and watch the way his jaw clenches
from the feeling. Jean notices you staring at him — teasing him — and he clicks his tongue at
you.

“You said you wanted this,” he reminds you.

“I do,” you say, pressing his head against your entrance and then sucking in a sharp breath
when his hips slide forward, pushing his cock into you.

“Shit,” he hisses, dropping his head to rest his forehead against yours as he rolls his hips
against you.

Your desperate moan is muffled by his lips against yours as he grinds against your body,
rutting deep into you. Filling you totally and completely to the point where you feel like you
can hardly breathe.

“You ok?” he mumbles, eyes suddenly fluttering open with concern as he pulls away and you
nod emphatically. “It doesn’t hurt?”

“Jean, I’m fine — just fuck me,” you whine, gripping his shoulders desperately and he
laughs.

“Ok, but you need to be quiet,” he grunts, pressing his lips hard against yours.

You always knew Jean was strong and he’s lifted you multiple times before, but there’s just
something about the way he has you pinned up against the wall as he fucks you that has you
going absolutely feral. If not for his mouth practically smothering yours, you’re certain the
entire building would be woken up from the way you’re screaming for him right now.

The snapping of his hips against your thighs causes a low smack! each time that echos off the
walls like a thunderous applause — so much for being quiet — you’d laugh if you weren’t
too busy looking at stars in the back of your head.

Jean grunts into your mouth, pounding his hips hard against you with long, deep strokes, and
the way his body grinds against yours has him rubbing your clit with every thrust. You’re
already so worked up that you’re not sure you can take much more of this before you
completely unravel in his arms.

His hip bones dig hard into the meat of your thighs with every thrust and you’re certain
you’re going to have bruises there tomorrow, but right now you’re clutching at Jean’s
shoulders for dear life and pulling away from his mouth just to press your face into his chest.
“Jean, I’m so close — I’m so fucking close,” you pant, each word coming out in a whine as
you feel his cock throbbing inside of you.

“Yeah, fuck,” he grunts pressing his face into your cheek and the scratch of his stubble on
your face burns just like the stretch of his cock in your pussy but you’re on another planet
right now and you can hardly focus on that when Jean’s cock keeps hitting you right there.

“Come on,” he says, breathing hot air against the shell of your ear with every thrust. “I want
to feel you cum — need it — fuck,” he grunts, his words losing some of its bite as you
squeeze around him.

Your whole body is shaking in his arms, eyes clenched shut tightly as you feel the familiar
build of heat in your core from a combination of Jean’s dick and the heat of his mouth on
your neck.

“— I’ve been waiting all week to do this to you,” he continues, moving his hand from the
wall to grab your face. He squeezes your cheeks with his hands, lifting your head up from his
chest so he can look down at your face. “All fucking week to feel you again.”

He leans forward to lick into your mouth before kissing you again — messy and sloppy and
desperate.

“Show me how good I make you feel,” he grunts, pulling away just to look down at you with
eyes so dark they’ve gone completely black. “Lemme see how hard my girlfriend cums for
me.”

With a desperate cry, you feel a burst of fire shoot through your entire body. You tremble and
shake in his arms, nails digging hard into his skin and teeth biting into his collarbone so hard
you’re certain you can taste blood. Your pussy squeezes around him rhythmically as he fucks
you through your orgasm, each slam of his hips sending more stars into your vision as your
entire being is overtaken by white-hot pleasure.

Jean moans against your ear as he tries to chase his own orgasm and you suddenly feel
yourself slipping out of his grasp as your body falls limp in the aftershocks of your orgasm.
“Oh, shit,” he hisses and you feel yourself sliding down the wall, Jean’s hands struggling to
grab onto you before you land solidly on your ass, Jean’s cock slipping out of you and flying
up to smack against his stomach.

“Fuck, sorry,” he says, leaning above you with one hand gripping the head of his cock while
your eyes flutter up to look at him. “You need to hang on to me,” he says and he moves to
reach down to pick you up again but from where you’re sitting you can see exactly how red
and hard his cock is and you know he’s barely holding himself back.

“Jean, cum on me,” you say, blinking up at his face with wide eyes.

“What?” he says, bewildered, but you watch his hand start to jerk around the head of his
cock.
“I want you to cum on me,” you repeat, still breathless and shaking from your orgasm. You
watch Jean’s eyes trail down from your face to your heaving chest and he bites his lower lip
hard with a deep groan. “Please,” you beg, letting your mouth fall open and allowing your
tongue to loll out of your mouth.

And that’s all the permission Jean needs before you feel the first rope of cum shoot across
your cheek. “Oh, fuck,” he moans, panting heavily above you as his cock pumps cum across
your face.

He watches with excited fascination, moaning as each spurt of cum hits your face — some on
your cheek, some on your tongue, some sliding down your chin and landing on your chest.
“Oh, fuck,” he repeats, face flushed as his fist works along his length, milking his cock for
every drop as it shoots onto you.

You keep your eyes wide and focused on his face, watching as his eyes dart all over you —
like he’s not sure where he wants to look. Until a streak of cum paints across your nose and
you're forced to flutter your eyes shut.

“Oh, fuck,” he moans, slowing the strokes of his fist as the last of his cum dribbles from his
tip. With a loud groan, he nudges his hips forward and you moan quietly when you feel the
soft head of his cock rubbing against the cum on your cheek. “Holy shit,” he hisses.

You tilt your head to lick him, but before you can, you feel him pull back. Opening your eyes,
you see him crouched in front of you, leaning forward with both hands to brush the cum from
your face with his thumbs.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he whispers, wiping your face clean as best he can before leaning
forward to kiss you. “I can’t believe you let me do that.”

You reach forward to wrap your arms around his shoulders, pulling him close until the two of
you are awkwardly crouched on the floor of the shower, halfway in the stream of water as
you kiss and grind against each other — still hot and desperate for one another after
everything.

When your body finally stops trembling and Jean has wiped off most of the cum from your
face, the two of you pull away, flushed and breathing hard. He looks at you with wide,
shocked eyes as he shakes his head.

“That was… wow,” he says, running a hand through his hair to push back the soaked strands.
“I was supposed to make you feel better.”

“You did,” you laugh, leaning forward to kiss him briefly before he helps you stand back up
on your feet. Jean pulls you under the stream of water, lathering his hands with body wash
and then palming against your skin until you’re covered in suds.

You’re exhausted, so you just lean forward with your head resting on his chest as you let him
wash your body. It feels so gentle and intimate, even when his hands run across your breasts
and your ass, and it helps relax you after everything that’s happened today.
 He lathers the soap gently on your body before pulling you under the stream of water to rinse
it off. Jean tilts your head up and presses his hand to your forehead to prevent the water from
running down your face, and that’s when you blink your eyes open to look up at him.

Jean’s brows are furrowed in concentration — the same concentration you saw when he was
between your legs earlier this evening — when he notices you watching him, his eyes flick to
your face and his brows relax.

“How are you doing?” he asks quietly, reaching back to turn off the knobs. He holds you
close against his chest as he waits for your response, letting any remaining water drip off
your bodies into the shower drain.

“I’m good, thank you,” you mumble, feeling drained, weak, and ready to go to sleep. He
smiles softly down at you before pressing his lips against your temple.

“I’m glad,” he hums, pushing open the door of the shower and helping you step out on
unsteady feet.

Jean grabs a towel to help dry you off and it feels nice being cared for like this with the
delicate way that Jean works the towel against your skin. You appreciate the opportunity to
just completely shut your brain off for a moment as you allow Jean to take care of you. Once
you’re dry, he grabs your discarded clothes from earlier and helps you step back into your
bottoms before pulling your shirt on over your head. He presses a tender kiss to your
forehead when your head pops out from the neck hole and you smile at him in your post-sex
daze.

You lean back against the counter on shaky legs as he grabs his own clothes and you notice
that even when he’s not near, you can still smell the soft citrus you’ve grown to associate
with him. You lift your arm up to your face to sniff your skin and realize that it must come
from his body wash, not a cologne.

The two of you walk quietly back out into the main room and you’re thankful to hear Reiner
still snoring in bed. Hopefully, he slept through all the noise that you and Jean made in the
other room.

Jean guides you back into bed with him and holds you close with your back pressed against
his chest. He kisses you once on the neck, then the cheek, and then the temple.

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Jean.”

Chapter End Notes

Sorry for the late update today! With AO3 being down, I didn't have an opportunity to
do my last-minute spelling/grammar checks, so I wanted to do that quickly before
posting. I probably missed some stuff, but I hope the extra-long chapter today makes up
for the wait!

The next three chapters are pretty intense as we wrap up arc 2, so buckle up folks and
maybe queue up some cute, fluffy one-shots to help soften the journey that I'm about to
take you on. Remember: it gets worse before it gets better.

I also changed the final chapter count from 35 to 38, and assuming I can stick to the
weekly upload schedule, that will take us to November 7!!

that you guys are still interested in reading week after week🥰
And also, thank you thank you everyone for 30k hits!!! That's insane!!! I'm so happy
I love you all!

Bonus Scene:
21 Anxiety - alternate version of part of Eren and Armin's conversation from the last
chapter
 Panic Attack
Chapter Notes

I took a bit of a creative risk for this chapter! Dunno if I nailed it, but I had a lot of fun
trying something new.

cw: Explicit language, angst, hurt/comfort, vomit, a character has a panic attack.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Friday

The final day at the client’s is a somber one.

The consultants finished up their work early, but you and the other accountants frantically
worked until you had to leave to catch your flight — and even then, your work was still left
unfinished.

Hange’s flight out of Trost was at noon, so you were thankful that you didn’t have to see the
look on their face when Petra told them that the work wasn’t done, but when Petra spoke to
Hange on the phone, you could see the distress painted all across her face.

The drive to the airport is mostly silent, aside from Petra gnawing further at the bloody stubs
of nails on her fingertips. When you look in the backseat, both boys have their heads low in
disappointment. Reiner is pale and sweaty and Jean keeps running his hands through his hair
and chewing on his lip.

They look about the same way that you feel right now.

At the airport, the four of you are still silent when Petra returns the rental car to the shop.
Silent when you pull your bags from the trunk. Silent when you stand in line for security.
Silent when you walk to the gate to wait for your flight.

Eren sticks close to you after meeting past security. If he’s still mad at you from your fight
the other day, you can’t tell, because he helps you carry your things and sits with you at the
gate — even when you seat yourself directly next to Jean. It’s a little awkward sitting in the
airport sandwiched between your boyfriend and your… Eren — but you’re too drained from
this past week to care.

You’re still unsure of how to feel about the things Jean told you about Eren. How can the
same man that helped carry your suitcases today at the airport be someone who shared
another girl’s naked photos with a bunch of other guys? It doesn’t make sense.
“Did you figure it out?” Eren asks, leaning a little closer to you to speak quietly at your side.
His question startles you and you look over at him with wide eyes. “Are things ok with
work?”

You take a sideways glance at Jean to see he’s scrolling through Twitter on his phone one-
handed with his earbuds in. His other arm is slung over the back of your chair, thumb
brushing against your shoulder occasionally. He's not paying any attention to you and Eren.

You tilt your head slightly to the side to meet Eren’s gaze as he looks at you with his brows
furrowed and it makes your heart ache. Even though you’re confused about the situation and
kind of mad at him, you can’t help but appreciate his concern — genuine or not.

“Things are shit right now,” you admit, frowning. “Petra had to tell Hange that we didn’t
finish the job and she hasn’t talked to us since.”

Eren returns your frown with one of his own. He settles his hand on his thigh near your leg
and gently strokes your knee with a single finger. “So, now what happens?”

“I don’t know.” You swallow thickly, turning your head forward so you can duck your face
into your sweater as you feel heat burning at the back of your eyes.

“Hey, you’re good, stay with me,” he murmurs, leaning even closer. “Do you wanna go for a
walk? Get a coffee or something?”

You snort. “It’s like 8 pm.”

“Decaf, then,” Eren says, and even from the corner of your eye you can see him grinning.
“Come on — it’s my treat. I bet you miss my vanilla lattes.”

You have to bite your lip to hide your own grin when he winks at you and you nod in
response. Eren gives your knee a quick squeeze before standing up from his chair. When you
stand alongside him, you catch Jean’s attention and he pulls out an earbud.

“Where are you going?” His eyes dart from you to Eren, and back again.

“We’re going to get a coffee. Did you want us to bring you back anything?” you ask with a
smile.

Jean glances over at Eren, biting at his cheek as his eyes narrow. “Nah, but you two have
fun.”

You frown down at Jean, wanting to quip back at his annoyed comment but are quickly
interrupted by Petra standing up from her seat. “I’ll come with you guys,” she says.

“The more the merrier,” Eren says with a smile as Petra joins the two of you on your walk to
the nearest coffee kiosk in the airport. There’s one not far from your gate, so you can see the
others seated while you stand in line for coffee.

Eren is all over you as the three of you stand waiting. He wraps both arms around your
shoulders and pulls you until your back is flush against his chest, resting his chin on the top
of your head. You want to push him away, but his affection is helping comfort you after a
tough day, so you don’t. Petra doesn’t even seem to mind the PDA as Eren attempts to make
awkward small talk with her, but she's hardly paying attention to what he's saying to her —
she seems distracted.

He presses his cheek against your head as he laughs at one of his own jokes, stroking your
arm softly with his hand as you clutch at his forearm. You feel your heart thundering in your
chest from the vibrations of his voice against your back, and you find yourself leaning back
into his warmth. You can feel him smiling against your hair before he presses a soft kiss on
your head and you watch Petra's nose crinkle from the action.

“Hey, can I talk with you?” she asks, turning toward you with a frown.

“Uh, yeah, sure,” you respond with a shrug.

“Can you hold our spot while we go over there?” she says to Eren as she gestures vaguely off
to the side.

Petra doesn’t wait for a response before she starts walking off. Eren squeezes you tightly for
a moment before letting you go, and you turn to offer him a confused shrug before following
Petra to a little unoccupied corner of the airport, still within line of sight of both Eren in line
for coffee and the others seated at the gate. You watch with a tight frown as Pieck comes over
to sit next to Jean and you feel your blood boiling.

After Jean’s comment from the other night (about thinking of Pieck while you were making
out with him), you’ve been finding yourself feeling insecure about their relationship again.
Not that you have any right to be angry at Jean for just talking to Pieck when you and Eren
were practically cuddling in line for coffee.

Petra doesn’t speak right away. Instead, she gnaws at what’s left of her fingernails anxiously
as she stares out the window, watching some airport workers throw baggage onto a cart.

“You wanted to talk to me about something?” you prompt, awkwardly shifting your weight
from foot to foot as you stand near her.

You send a nervous glance over to Eren, who responds with two thumbs up and a big smile,
but it doesn’t provide you with any assurance. After these past few weeks at Trost and the
meetings you’ve had with Petra, you know that nothing good can come from this
conversation. Your whole body feels cold and your heartbeat is fast in your chest, getting
worse with every long second that Petra’s gaze remains on the bags outside. You hope this is
just about the PDA with Eren.

“Yeah,” she says, finally pulling her hands from her mouth to turn toward you. “I wanted to
talk to you about the Reeves job.”

“Of course, what’s up?” you try to remain calm but the waver in your voice betrays you
instantly. You wish Petra hadn’t drug you away from Eren for this conversation, you could
really use his comforting presence right now. You try to send him a desperate glance but he’s
reached the front of the line and is talking with the girl at the till, so you begrudgingly return
your gaze to Petra.

She’s having a hard time looking you in the eye and that instantly makes you feel worse
about what she’s about to say next.

“You made a lot of mistakes in your work,” she says. “During my review, I tried to correct
what a could, to help you, but even then you still had a lot that needed to be fixed.”

You wring your hands together while she speaks, so hard that it’s painful, but it does nothing
to distract you from the looming feeling of dread as she continues. You want to tell her that
it’s not your fault — that Jean was helping you — but you don’t know if that will just get you
into more trouble, so you keep your mouth shut.

“I spent a lot of time talking to Hange about you — vouching for you — but there’s only so
much I can say to refute the results.”

The dread gets worse and worse. You find yourself looking down at your feet and tugging
your lower lip between your teeth. Are you about to get fired from your job at a fucking
airport? You feel like you might get sick.

“Hange was really disappointed with your performance this week,” Petra says with a heavy
sigh.

You feel your heart tightening in your chest — it’s almost painful. You find yourself lifting
your hand, gripping your shirt tightly above your heart as you try to focus on Petra’s words.

“When we get back to the office on Monday, Erwin wants us to meet with him.”

Shit, you’re sweating, now. Beads of sweat pepper your hairline as more drip down the back
of your neck. Why are you so sweaty?

“I’m not sure how this meeting is going to go, but it doesn't look good.”

It’s so stuffy in here all of a sudden. You’re having a hard time catching your breath.

“Since you’re on the PIP, it might not —”

She’s speaking so quietly now. You can hardly hear her. It’s like you’re underwater.

Hey, are you ok?

She’s looking up at you, but her face is all distorted, like you’re looking at her through a fish-
eye lens.

Yes, you try to say, but it just comes out like a strangled moan.

Your throat is so tight. Feels like someone’s choking you.

What’s going on?

 Hey, are you —

Why are you down on the ground? It’s like your knees just gave out.

On your hands and knees on the floor by Petra’s feet. What’s happening?

Is someone calling your name? Why does everything sound so distorted?

You feel like you can’t breathe. Big, huge gulps of air but it’s not reaching your lungs. You
can’t breathe. You can’t fucking breathe.

Strong hands pull you against an even stronger chest. Vanilla — smells like vanilla.

Vanilla. Lattes at the office.

The office. Erwin.

Erwin. Your meeting.

Your fucking meeting. You’re getting fired.

Fired. Fired.

Your stomach clenches but your throat is so tight. You gag.

Relax — come on, stay with me. You’re freaking out!

More big gulps of air. More choking. More gagging.

You need to calm down! Just breathe!

Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.

Get Reiner — hurry!

It’s so tight. You can’t move. The hands are tight and you can’t fucking breathe.

Let go of me!

You squirm — thrash — cry out, until you’re free. On your hands and knees on the ground.
Why can’t you breathe?

Help her — please!

You’re ok, just take a deep breath.

Who’s talking to you? Why are there so many people here? You want to be alone. You can’t
breathe.

You see the vomit on the floor. Disgusting. Was that you?
It happens again. Puke coating the ground in front of you. That’s not you, is it?

Reiner! Help her!

Take a deep breath. Tell me what you see. Name five things.

Puke. So much puke.

You lift your hands from the ground. They’re disgusting. There’s puke on your hands.

Is she ok? Is everything ok? Please!

Eren, calm down! You’re making things worse!

Tell me what you see.

You take in huge gulps of air but your lungs still feel empty.

My hands. They’re dirty.

It’s ok. You’re doing good.

You are? You’re so dirty. You can’t breathe. Hands are shaking.

What else do you see? Three more things.

Shoes. Someone’s shoes. Next to the puke. Stepping in it. Oh, shit. It’s so dirty.

It’s ok.

You look up. You know this man.

Reiner. Reiner’s shoes. Puke. My hands. Carpet.

The words come out fast as you gulp for air.

Good. Can I touch you?

No!

Ok, don’t worry. Tell me what you can touch.

You touch your fingers. Sticky. Slippery. Covered in puke.

You reach for the floor. Clean carpet. Rough against your fingers.

Good. Two more things.

Smooth. Slippery. Shoes. Dress shoes. Work shoes.

You look up again. Large palms stretched out toward you. They’re rough and calloused. Big.
 Breathe.

You do. Still fast — panicked. But you breathe. It’s hard.

What can you hear?

You. Crying.

Laughter. He’s laughing, eyes crinkling. You’re crying — you’re the one crying.

What else?

You try to focus as you squeeze tightly around big, calloused hands. What can you hear?

People. Talking. Voices.

Good. Breathe.

You do. It’s hard — but easier, now.

What can you smell?

Puke.

Laughter, again. He thinks it’s funny. It kind of is, isn’t it?

Breathe.

You do.

Vanilla.

Good. Breathe.

It’s easier now. Focused on the smells, the sounds, Reiner’s hands in yours. Your heart hurts
— still, but it’s better.

Do you want water?

You nod slowly, your head feels heavy — dizzy. He lets go of one of your hands and you
panic again.

No! Don’t leave!

But he returns quickly, placing a cool, plastic water bottle in your hand.

Try to drink.

He helps you lift your hand. You’re shaking. It spills down your chin. On the puke. You made
such a mess.
I’m sorry.

It’s ok. You’re ok.

I’m sorry, Reiner.

You’re ok. Just breathe.

Your chest hurts. You feel like you might die right here. Reiner’s hands keep you grounded as
you kneel on the floor. You try to calm down.

Puke. Hands. Reiner. Shoes. Carpet.

It’s getting easier now. The pounding in your head is going away. Your vision returning to
normal.

Deep breaths. Count with me, ok?

Ok.

Inhale — one, two, three, four.

You breathe in. It’s hard, but easier.

Hold it — one, two, three, four.

Your hands are shaking. Reiner’s eyes are closed.

Exhale — one, two, three, four.

You close your eyes. Breathing in — feeling your heart relax.

Inhale — one, two, three, four.

Your nails are digging into Reiner’s hands. You’re squeezing him so tight, you realize. You
relax your grip.

Hold it — one, two, three, four.

You hiccup and cough. Your throat is tight but it’s better, now. Better than before. Your chest
still hurts, but it’s better.

Exhale — one, two, three, four.

It smells like puke and airport food. You can hear people talking behind you. It doesn’t feel
like you’re underwater anymore.

“How are you feeling?” Reiner’s voice cuts through the ringing in your ears as you blink up
at him, tears clouding the edges of your vision.

“Scared,” you whisper, voice unsteady.

You open your eyes to meet Reiner’s concerned, golden stare. Your chest still hurts but your
breathing is mostly back to normal. You can feel your shoulders trembling and your back is
soaked from sweat.

“What happened?” you ask, still quiet.

“You had a panic attack,” he explains, quietly. “Can you stand up?”

Your legs feel weak, but you nod. “It stinks,” you say, eyes darting down to the puke between
you two.

He laughs. “It’s ok.”

Reiner helps you up to your feet, careful not to let you step into the puke, and you fall into his
chest. Your whole body is shaking and you keep your eyes low, embarrassed. You can’t
believe you just caused such a scene at the airport like this.

Your head is still hazy and disoriented as you blink away your tears. Reiner holds you loosely
against his chest with one arm while the other holds your hand around the water bottle. He
helps guide you away from the mess to one of the chairs in the waiting area for the nearest
gate. You try not to fall into the chair, but your legs give out underneath you.

When you look up, you’re met with concerned eyes. Petra, Eren, Jean — even Pieck.

Shit, this is so embarrassing. You jerk your head away and bury it in Reiner’s shoulder in
shame.

Eren makes a jerky move toward you but Reiner firmly raises his hand to stop him. “Give her
space.”

He stumbles, hesitating as his eyes dart between you and Reiner’s upraised hand. His chest
feels tight and his eyes burn. Eren just wants to reach out and hold you close — he's scared,
he's so fucking scared to see you like this.

Eren looks over at Jean, who has a vice grip on one of Eren's arms, and tries to send him a
silent plea for help — Jean understands, doesn’t he? Eren needs to be with you, help him.

“Jean,” he begs, voice soft and desperate.

Jean tears his eyes away from you to look at Eren, face pale and mouth gaping in shock. He
furrows his brows at Eren, shaking his head as he struggles to speak, and his grip on Eren's
arm tightens.

“Everyone, give us some space,” Reiner repeats, tone gentle but firm.

Petra jumps into action then, pulling Eren back with the grip she has on his other arm. “Come
on, let’s go back to the gate. Give them some space.”

Eren’s still reaching out for you, but he lets Petra and Jean drag him away, watching as
Reiner holds you close and helps your breathing return to normal.
“Do you want more water?” Reiner mumbles, voice quiet.

You nod slowly and pull your face away from his shoulder enough to allow him to bring the
bottle up to your lips for another sip. You feel silly being babied like this with your hands
covered in puke, but you’re grateful for Reiner’s stability and his strong arm around you.

“I have a napkin in my pocket,” he says, shifting his hips so his pocket is angled closer to
you, “If you want to clean off your hands.”

“Thanks,” you say quietly, reaching to pull them from his tight pocket and then wiping your
hands until most of the mess is gone. “I’m really sorry, Reiner.”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Reiner tsks. “Was that your first time having a panic
attack?”

“I thought I was going to die.”

“Yeah, it feels like that sometimes,” he offers, rubbing small circles on your back with his
large, warm palm. “I used to get them a lot.”

“I’m really sorry,” you repeat, looking up at him with watery eyes. “I’m sorry you had to take
care of me like this. You have enough shit going on in your life without having to worry
about me and my issues.”

“It’s ok, you’re fine,” he assures. “You’ve been there for me all week when I’ve been on the
brink of a breakdown. It wouldn’t be right if I left you alone like that.”

“Thanks,” you say quietly, swallowing back the lump in your throat. “I just feel bad.”

“It’s hard to admit when you’re struggling, I get that, but it’s easier to lean on your support
system than try to go through it alone,” he says, hand still pressed firmly into your back.
“Your friends want to help you — so let them.”

You nod noncommittally, looking over across the room as the janitors start working on
cleaning up your mess. You feel shame and guilt and have to look down at your feet to avoid
bursting into tears.

“Good thing you didn’t puke on Petra,” Reiner teases, poking you in the arm. “Could you
imagine? She’s been a ball of nerves all week, she’d probably just puke on you back.”

“Ew, Reiner,” you say, scrunching your nose in disgust, but you giggle regardless.

Reiner laughs, deep from his chest and you find the sound comforting. “What had you feeling
so anxious anyway? I’m happy to listen.”

“I don’t want to make you feel shitty, too,” you admit, swallowing thickly.

“Don’t worry about me,” he says with a scoff, “I’m tough.” He offers you a comforting
squeeze when you look up at him with a frown. “Don’t you worry about trying to act strong
in front of everyone right now, it’s ok to be vulnerable after what just happened.”
“Ok,” you squeak, feeling grateful for Reiner’s assurance.

You know his confidence in dealing with you after your panic attack is the result of his own
traumatic experiences and it makes your heart ache for him. He’s had… several of these? You
thought you were about to die after just one.

“I think I’m going to get fired on Monday,” you say. Your chest feels hollow when you speak,
but with Reiner’s warm body at your side, you don’t feel as bad as you did during your
conversation with Petra. “Erwin wants to meet with me, and since I’m already on the PIP,
Petra said it doesn’t look good.”

If your words bother Reiner, he doesn’t let it show. He continues holding you tight and acts as
your rock in the storm as he looks down at you with a soft gaze. “How do you feel about
that?”

“Like a failure,” you admit, feeling the telltale tightening in your chest of another sob. “Like I
wasted my time. Like I’ll never succeed in anything ever again. Like I’m just a big fucking
embarrassment.”

Each word comes out choked, but your eyes are dry — you just feel broken.

“You know, none of that’s true,” Reiner assures, voice soft. “Just because it doesn’t work out
at Titan doesn’t mean your life is over. You’re young — you have so many options ahead of
you that you can pursue.”

“I don’t know what to do,” you say, voice shaking. “What are you going to do? Things are
hard for you, too, right?”

Reiner presses his lips into a firm, thin line as he looks down at you. “I’m not sure yet, but
after talking with you and Pieck these past few weeks and with how low I’ve been feeling… I
know I need to get out of here, so Pieck and I are taking some time off next week,” he says.
“We’re going to go back to Marley and hang out with some of our old friends from
university. After that, I’m going to start looking into something new.”

“You said before you might go traveling,” you say, chin trembling. “Where do you want to
go?”

He smiles down at you. “I’ve never been to Hizaru. I think I’d like to try going there, first.”

“That sounds nice,” you hum, grateful for a distraction from your worries about work. “What
would you do there?”

The two of you chat quietly about Reiner’s future trip to Hizaru. He tells you about all of the
landmarks he’d like to see, the food he’d like to try, and the things he’d like to do while he’s
there. Talking with Reiner helps you relax after the stress and adrenaline of your panic attack
by filling your thoughts with thousand-year-old temples and cherry blossoms. And all the
while, Reiner keeps rubbing gentle, soothing circles on your back with his palm.
“You seem to have relaxed a bit,” Reiner observes and you look up at him. “Do think you’ll
be ok to go to the bathroom on your own? It might help to splash some water on your face.”

“Um… yeah.”

“Or, I can go get Pieck or Petra,” he suggests.

“Maybe Petra,” you say, smiling appreciatively.

He smiles back in response, squeezing your shoulder gently before sitting up. “I’ll go get her
and be right back,” he says before walking off, leaving you alone in your seat with the water
bottle clenched in your hands.

You’re so embarrassed, still, even after Reiner’s reassuring words.

You’re embarrassed that you just had a panic attack in front of your coworkers — in front of
Jean!

You’re embarrassed that your work quality is so low that Petra and Erwin want to meet with
you and — probably — fire you.

You’re embarrassed that after spending so many years at school to get a degree in accounting,
you’re failing at your first job. What are you supposed to do now?

Reiner returns with Petra in tow and she looks just as rough as you feel. She reaches a hand
out to help you up from your seat but you brush her off, gesturing toward your sticky, gross
fingers, and stand up on your own.

Your legs are a little wobbly and unsteady, but Petra swoops in and grabs your elbow to help
you stabilize.

“Hey, you’re good,” she says softly, eyebrows knitted into the centre of her face in concern.
“I got you.”

She walks with you to the bathroom, only letting go of your elbow when you’re able to lean
against the counter of the sink. Petra watches you as you first, wash your hands clean from
the puke, before taking a few handfuls of water and splashing it up into your face.

Reiner was right, the water does help.

You feel a little more stable and calm after a few shocking splashes of cold water on your
face. Petra hands you some paper towel to dry yourself off with, still watching you with that
concerned look on her face.

“How are you feeling?” she asks, voice soft, like she’s afraid that if she speaks too loudly,
she’ll scare you.

“I’m really sorry you had to see that,” you duck your head in embarrassment, fiddling with
the paper towel in your hands. “I’m so embarrassed. Please don’t tell Erwin.”
“I —” she cuts herself off, pressing her lips into a hard line as she looks at you. “I feel really
guilty.”

“Why do you feel guilty?”

“I feel like I haven’t been there for you.” Petra wraps her arms around her waist, hugging
herself tightly as she gnaws at her lower lip. “I want to be someone you can come to when
you’re struggling… but you don’t feel comfortable with me, do you?”

You offer a shrug in response, feeling awkward.

“If I knew you were having such a hard time, I would’ve been nicer,” she says. “I would’ve
understood if I knew — if you had told me.”

It feels like she’s scolding you, but her voice is still soft, fragile.

“I can’t believe I made you… that I…” She’s stumbling over her words now, voice shaking.
Even with her eyes low, you can see the edges lined with tears. “I’m sorry,” she says,
clenching her eyes tightly as tears start to spill.

“Petra…” You reach out for her with now-clean hands, resting on her arms as her body
trembles.

“Sorry, I’m being stupid.” She takes a step back from you, wiping her eyes with her sleeve as
she turns away. “You literally just had a panic attack and here I am, crying because I’m not a
good boss.”

“Hey, no,” you reach out for her but she moves away again.

“I just hate seeing this happen again,” she says, sucking in a sharp breath through her teeth.
“When I saw this happen to him, I felt so fucking powerless. I thought that once I became a
Senior and I had some control, I could make things better — I could help people. So nobody
would ever feel shitty like that ever again… but even when I have the power to change
things, I still can’t.”

She covers her face with both hands, letting her head sag down between her shoulders as you
reach out for her. Your hands are still hovering near her arms, wanting to give her a
comforting pat, but knowing she’ll just move away again.

“I don’t know what to do anymore,” she says quietly, almost muffled. “I don’t know what
else I can do to help. I couldn’t help him, I can’t help you — and now here I am crying in a
fucking airport bathroom.”

She breathes heavily into her palms, face still buried in her hands until the shaking in her
shoulders stops. Dropping her hands to her sides, she tilts her head up to the ceiling with a
heavy sigh.

“Maybe I’m not cut out for management. I can hardly keep my head above water as is, and
my staff are having breakdowns all around me. I wish…” She sighs again, dropping her head
forward to look at you through the reflection of the mirror. “Don’t come in on Monday,” she
says, returning back to her usual stern self.

“Are you firing me?”

Before you can finish your question she whirls around with panicked eyes, grabbing at your
shoulders. “No, no — that’s not what I meant! I just mean… take the day off.”

The two of you look at each other with wide, panicked eyes, breathing hard.

“Ok,” you say quietly, brows furrowing together in confusion. “Why?”

“Just, take the day off, ok? I’ll talk to Erwin.”

“Are you even allowed to authorize my vacation?”

“It doesn’t matter, you’ll be fine,” she insists. “Just listen to me, ok?”

Although it pains you to say it, you ask, “Won’t this just delay the inevitable? Will one day
really make a difference if Erwin wants to meet with me?”

“It’ll be fine,” she assures, “I’ll take care of it all, I promise.”

You give her a slow, hesitant nod and her arms return to her sides, face relaxing. She breathes
out a quick sigh of relief, brushing at the tears on her face one last time before fully returning
to the same demeanor you have grown used to these past few months.

“Are you ready to go back to our gate? The flight should be boarding soon.”

You hesitate to answer, looking down at your feet. “I’m really embarrassed,” you confess,
fiddling with your fingers. “After what happened out there, and what everyone saw…”

She nods in understanding. “We can wait until boarding to go back so you don’t have to talk
with anyone. Who are you supposed to be sitting next to?”

“Jean,” you say.

“Is that ok?”

“I don’t… I don’t really want to sit with him right now,” you say, face burning.

You don’t want Jean to see this side of you. You’re so unbelievably embarrassed that he saw
you crying and throwing up on the floor of the airport — what does he think about you after
witnessing that?

He’s your best friend — your boyfriend — but you can’t bare to let him see you being this
vulnerable. You only want him to see the good, happy parts of you. Not the You that cries
because work is too hard or the You that’s about to get fired from your job. What if he breaks
up with you after seeing how pathetic you are?
 “Do you want me to get Jean and Eren to switch spots?”

Yes.

You need to feel Eren’s comforting arms around you. You need him to hold your face in your
hands and brush your tears away with his thumbs. You need his lips pressed softly against
your own until you feel whole again. You want to sob into his chest while he whispers into
your hair how strong you are for making it this far.

You need Eren.

“No,” you lie. If you want any hope of continuing a romantic relationship with Jean, you
can’t have him trade seats with Eren on the plane. “Maybe I can sit next to Reiner, instead? Is
that ok?”

Anyone but Jean.

Petra nods, reaching out to rub her hands up and down your arms firmly, to help you relax.
“Sure, I’ll make Jean switch spots with him, then you’ll have Reiner with you on the flight
back.”

“Thanks,” you say quietly, head still low as you feel tears burning in your eyes.

Chapter End Notes

Bonus Scenes:
16 Shameless - Alternative foreplay before the smut scene in Eren's hotel room (mature
content)
22 Hot Flashes - If Reader had successfully managed to convince Jean to hook up in her
room on Wednesday night (mature content)
 Dinner and Drinks (e)
Chapter Notes

This is my favourite chapter! I hope you guys enjoy!

cw: Alcohol, explicit language, explicit sexual content (dirty talk, thigh riding), angst,
hurt/no comfort, physical violence, mention of blood.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Saturday

“Are you sure you still want to go out to dinner with everyone tonight?”

“Yeah, I need the distraction.”

“We don’t have to go. We can just stay here and chill with Connie and Sash.”

“I know, I know. I want to go.”

Jean frowns, arms crossed over his chest as he watches you put on your makeup for this
evening. “Fine, ok,” he concedes with a huff. “At least they picked somewhere close to the
house, so if we need to bail we can just walk back.”

You’ve been feeling really somber and embarrassed about Jean seeing your panic attack at
the airport, so you’ve hardly been able to hold a conversation with him since the two of you
got back. After a long, awkward car ride home from the airport, you ran and hid away in your
room for the rest of the evening and most of today.

Jean has been respecting your space, and thankfully, Sasha has been busy all day working on-
call at the clinic, and Connie is playing the new expansion pack to his video game, so you’ve
been able to avoid talking about it with anyone. But now, it’s almost dinner time and the two
of you have to leave. Thanks to Hange, it’s no secret that accounting is behind. So, the
consulting team requested that they receive their free dinner and drinks immediately to
celebrate their success. Surprisingly, Pieck was the most vocal about getting everyone
together tonight.

“How much do you think this is going to hurt our wallets?” you ask, glancing over at Jean as
you finish up with your makeup.

“Knowing Floch, I wouldn’t be surprised if he takes this as an opportunity to order top-shelf

liquor for shots,” Jean snorts. “Eren’s an asshole, but he’s not that bad… Pieck will be fine.”
You hum in response, leaning away from the mirror to get a full look at yourself for this
evening. It’s not often that you get to go out for dinner and drinks since you and the Core
Four usually have movie nights at the house, so despite everything that’s happened this week,
you’re excited to have the opportunity to dress up for once. Looking at yourself all done up
like this now, you feel an instant shift in your mood from earlier this week.

You’re excited, you’re looking forward to this evening — you’re even wearing lipstick!

As he leans against the doorframe, you catch sight of Jean’s outfit in the mirror as you’re
assessing your own. You can see the glint of his chain laying across his collarbones through
the opened neckline of his shirt and a small dark hickey hiding just underneath his shirt from
your romp in the hotel shower, and when you trail your eyes up to his face, you see that he’s
looking at you, too.

“You look really good,” he says, smirking at you from the doorway.

He casts a cautionary glance over his shoulder, toward Connie’s room, before taking a step
into yours, and gently closing the door behind him.

“You look really good, too,” you say, perking up and turning towards him.

It’s difficult to hide the excited grin on your face as he takes long strides to meet you by your
mirror. Jean rests his hands on your hips and pulls you firmly against his body until the two
of you are pressed against one another.

“I missed you,” he says quietly, leaning down to brush his nose across your cheek.

“I haven’t gone anywhere, dummy,” you say, but your breath catches in your throat when you
feel him press his lips against your jaw.

Your hands reach up to grab at his shirt, tugging him even tighter against you as you feel heat
building in your core.

“I’m glad you’re ok,” he mumbles, lips pressed against your skin. “That was really scary
yesterday.”

“Yeah,” you say dismissively, feeling your face burn from embarrassment.

Jean hums in response and squeezes you a little tighter against his chest.

“We have to leave soon,” you say regretfully as his lips trail down your neck, along your
collarbone, and then dipping even lower to the tops of your breasts.

“We can be late,” he murmurs against your skin.

“We’re already late,” you huff, but you make no effort to push him away.

Jean leaves wet, open-mouthed kisses across your chest as he makes his way back up your
neck to your face. He looks down at you with darkened eyes, breaths coming out in slow
puffs as the heat from his hands radiates through your body.
His gaze falls from your eyes down to your lips and you tug your lower lip between your
teeth in anticipation. Jean’s eyes brighten at the sight and he finally closes the distance
between your mouths, pressing his lips firmly against yours.

Comically, your knees feel weak when he kisses you, and you find yourself all but collapsing
forward into his chest. He wraps one arm around your waist to tug you impossibly closer as
he deepens the kiss, and you allow him to slide his tongue against yours.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, barely pulling away from you to speak. “I’m probably ruining your
makeup.”

“Ruin it,” you insist, hands moving up his body to grasp at the back of his neck. “Please.”

Jean walks you backward until the back of your legs hit your bed. With one hand pressed
against your lower back, he helps ease you down until you’re laying down with Jean’s knee
nudged between your thighs. He presses a palm into the mattress near your head and looks
down at you with darkened eyes, his mouth is already stained with your lipstick, and you find
yourself thumbing your lip to clean some off of yourself.

“Look how pretty my girlfriend is,” he says, voice low as he trails his nose against your
cheek. You feel your breath catch in your throat as his hand shifts from your back to your
waist, trailing up the curve of your body to palm at your breast through your dress.

Jean presses his knee higher between your legs until you can feel his thick thigh pressed
against you and you groan. “Jean, please,” you whimper, and you don’t even know what
you’re begging for, just that you need more.

Jean slides his palm down your body, across your stomach, and down to your hip before he
starts to rock you gently against his thigh. “I wonder how fast I can get you off,” he hums,
lips grazing against your ear.

“Let’s find out,” you whisper back, unsure whether to focus your attention on his darkened
gaze or the way his hand tightens around your hip.

He presses his lips hard against yours to muffle your moans as he starts to rock you against
his thigh. You wrap your arms around his body, gripping the ridges of his shoulder blades as
you grind down against his leg. It feels so good but it’s not enough.

As if Jean can sense your neediness, he rests his shoulder down on the mattress to free both
hands to grab your hips. He rubs you harshly along his thigh and the feeling sends
shockwaves through your body, causing you to arch up off the mattress until your chest is
pressed flush against his body.

You pull away from his lips to bury your face in his neck, whimpering quietly as you feel
your gut tightening. With the way he’s breathing heavily against your ear and how his weight
is pressed into you, all you can think of is having his cock filling you instead. Pushing against
the tight walls of your cunt as your body sucks him in, immersing yourself in the thick,
masculine scent of Jean fucking Kirstein until you’re filled and dripping with his cum.
“Close?” he coos against your ear as your body shudders beneath him from your filthy
thoughts.

“Yeah,” you pant, rolling your hips against him harder to chase the slow build of your
orgasm. “So close.”

Jean maintains his steady rhythm as you whimper and pant in his ear. You squirm below him,
legs tightening around his thigh just as you feel the wave of pleasure shoot through your
body.

Your hands grasp at his back when you cum, nails threatening to tear through the fabric of his
shirt as your pussy pulses against the heat of his thigh pressed against you. It feels so good
cumming like this — so fucking good — but instead of relief, you just feel hungry and needy
for more.

Jean works you through your orgasm, slowing his pace when your body relaxes against him,
but he’s still breathing hard against your ear. When he pulls away to look down at you, the
way his face is flushed and how his hair has fallen into his eyes has your hips rocking against
him in need.

“Hmm,” he says, caging you between his forearms. “Not very fast… I think we can do better
than that, yeah?”

You swallow thickly, trying to collect yourself as he moves a hand to cup your jaw. He slides
his thumb across your lower lip before gently dipping it into your mouth. You watch the
muscles in his jaw twitching when you wrap your lips around him, tonguing the tip of his
thumb softly as your cheeks hollow around it.

He pushes his thumb deep into your mouth until you feel him tickling the back of your throat,
and when he pulls it out, you can feel your pussy twitching from the sight of the ring of
lipstick you left around his knuckle.

“Maybe I should try with my tongue,” he offers.

“Yeah,” you whimper in response, nodding quickly as you picture Jean looking like this
down on his knees between your thighs — face flushed and ragged. “Maybe you should.”

As luck would have it, Connie decides at this exact moment to come out of his room and start
stomping down the hallway. “Are you guys still here?”

With an annoyed groan, Jean pushes himself up off of you and you instantly whimper from
the lack of warmth. He runs a clean hand through his hair to brush away the loose strands as
he whirls around and storms toward your bedroom door.

“Wait, wait!” you hiss and Jean pauses, turning back to face you. You gesture toward his face
and you watch as he glances over to the mirror, seeing the lipstick smeared on his face and
neck, widening his eyes in shock.

“Guys?” Connie calls again

“What do you want, Connie?” Jean says, licking his thumb to rub away the lipstick until he’s
deemed himself presentable and clean enough to open your bedroom door. Connie is standing
right outside and Jean stares down at him as you adjust your clothes and stand up from the
bed.

“Why was the door closed...? Were you two fucking?”

“Shut the fuck up, Connie.”

“Woah — wait… were you?” Connie asks, eyes narrowing at Jean.

You quickly walk up behind Jean on shaky legs, pushing him aside to smile up at Connie
innocently, hoping you don’t look as fucked out as Jean does. “Hey, while you’re out of your
room, do you wanna drive us to the restaurant?”

“I thought Jean was going to drive?” Connie crosses his arms on his chest, face turning into a
frown as he looks over at you.

“If you drive us, he won’t have to leave his car there,” you explain, grateful that you are able
to distract Connie from his earlier question. Thank God for his short attention span.

Jean hasn’t told Connie yet that the two of you are together and you don’t think Sasha’s
mentioned anything to him either. So, as far as you know, Connie is in the dark about what’s
going on between you and Jean. Despite having already told Sasha, you want to maintain
some semblance of the illusion that you and Jean aren't together in front of Connie — at least,
for now.

Connie grunts in annoyance but says, “Yeah, ok, fine. But we have to leave now.”

“Fine by me,” you say, raising your hands up in defeat. “We have to go now, anyway.”

“Ok,” Connie says, “Good.”

“Good,” you say.

“Great.”

“Can we just fucking go already?” Jean snaps, one hand still gripped firmly around the
doorknob to your room. “Get your keys and let’s leave.”

“I could do without the attitude,” Connie grumbles, heading back to his room. “Remember,
I’m the one doing you a favour, so you could try being a little nicer to me.”

“Connie,” Jean says after taking a long breath, “Can we please just fucking go already?” He
stomps across the hall to the bathroom and you hear the sink running as Jean, presumably,
does a more thorough clean of the smears on his neck and shoulder while you duck back into
your room to reapply lipstick.

“Acceptable,” you hear from Connie’s bedroom, alongside the soft jiggling of keys and the
rustling of clothes. Connie returns in a big, oversized hoodie, spinning his keys around his
finger. “Alright, let’s go.”

***

The restaurant is less than a five-minute drive, so you barely have time to get through basic
pleasantries with Connie before he drops you off at the restaurant.

“Have fun at dinner!” he calls through his open window before driving away, leaving you and
Jean standing outside the restaurant.

You walk with Jean into the building while he scrolls through his phone. “I think Pieck said
she made a reservation,” he says and you frown. You know Pieck is the one that organized
the dinner, but you don’t like that she’s texting Jean about it.

When Petra asked Reiner to sit next to you on the plane ride back, you didn’t realize that
meant that Jean would be sitting next to Pieck. The two talked — of course, they talked —
and part of you is afraid that sitting with Pieck sparked up some of Jean’s old feelings for her.

Before you can say anything, the hostess calls the two of you up to the main desk.

“Do you two have a reservation?”

“We’re meeting a larger group here. Should be under the name Pieck Finger?” Jean says and
the girl looks down at her screen before nodding.

She leads the two of you through the restaurant to the indoor patio where they have arranged
a long table for you and the others with more than enough seats for everyone. Even with just
a quick glance, you can tell that this table is too big for the number of people coming.

The others are already here, so you and Jean take two of the remaining seats near the group.
You sit at the far end of the table, across from Floch while Jean is next to you, sandwiched
between you and Pieck and across from Eren. Reiner sits on the other side of Eren, leaving
two open seats next to Reiner and Pieck.

“Finally! It’s Kirstein and… You,” Floch says with a frown, gesturing vaguely toward you.

“I have a name, Floch,” you snap, reminding him again. “You should know by now, we’ve
been working together all week.”

Floch just responds with a scoff and an eye roll.

“Why is the table so big?” you ask, leaning forward so Pieck can hear you across from Jean,
but you’re looking at Eren.

“It’s the only table they had available,” Pieck explains with a shrug.

You can hardly hear her soft voice over the music in the restaurant, but with your eyes fixed
on Eren, you watch the way his gaze drifts from your face down to your chest, and his
eyebrows raise in approval.
He leans forward in his seat, “You look really nice.”

“Thank you,” you say, leaning back in embarrassment as heat floods your cheeks. “I don’t get
to dress up often.”

“Shame,” Eren tsks, grabbing his drink from the table and taking a slow sip as his eyes linger
on your body.

“Where the hell have you two been? I’m starving,” Floch groans, knocking twice on the
table. “I haven’t eaten all day today so I can fully take advantage of all you fucking losers.”

“Ok,” Jean snaps, raising a hand, “No need to get so fucking snippy, Floch. We’re paying for
your food and shit, but at least be polite.”

“Fuck that,” Floch snorts, grabbing his glass and slamming back the rest of his beer. When he
settles his glass back on the table with a soft thunk! he whirls around in his seat. “Where’s
that fucking bitch? I want to order some shots.”

“Floch, shut the fuck up,” Eren hisses, but surprisingly, Floch ignores him as he snaps his
fingers to attract the attention of the nearest waitress.

You look over at Jean and he meets your gaze before rolling his eyes and snorting. “I told
you.”

“Can you get us a round of tequila shots? Some real top-shelf shit, if you know what I mean.
The kind that you don’t need salt and lime for, y’know? And get these two idiots some drinks
too — whatever they want.” Floch talks to the waitress with absolutely no respect, gesturing
vaguely to the group as he rattles off his order while you look at him with a scowl.

The waitress offers him a tight-lipped smile, tapping his order onto her small tablet before
turning to you and Jean. “And for the two of you?” Jean orders a beer and you get whatever
cocktail is on special tonight.

“Fun,” Eren croons when the waitress walks away, raising his eyebrows in approval. “Are
you getting lit up tonight with the rest of us?”

“I think so,” you offer with a shrug.

“Pieck was suggesting that we all go out dancing after this,” Eren continues, “I’d like to see
what you and that little dress can do on the dancefloor.”

You feel your face heat in a mixture of embarrassment and anticipation but you duck your
head to hide from Eren’s gaze. Jean literally just made you cum not even ten minutes ago and
now you’re flirting with Eren right in front of him — you need to rein it in tonight, especially
with all of the alcohol.

Eren nudges Floch in the shoulder and makes a switch-a-roo gesture with his hands, which
Floch responds to by eagerly nodding.
“Oh yeah, totally, for sure man,” he says, sitting up right away to allow Eren to slide into his
seat as Floch settles in next to Reiner.

When Eren takes up Floch’s seat, he moves his chair to the head of the table so he’s seated
next to you instead of across the table. With his new position, he’s able to lean in close when
he speaks to you.

You’re expecting him to say something lewd and nasty, but instead, he asks, “Are you feeling
better since yesterday?”

You’re caught off guard by his question and lean back slightly in your chair in surprise.
Looking at his face you can see it contorted into a soft look of concern as he runs his finger
along the lip of his glass.

“Yeah, I dunno,” you offer with a shrug, looking away. “I don’t really want to talk about it
here.”

“Fair,” Eren hums, leaning back into his chair as well. “I just wanted to make sure you’re
ok.”

“I am, thank you,” you say, and your heart stutters in your chest.

He reaches for your knee under the table, resting his large hand on your bare skin. You glance
over at Jean to see his reaction, but he’s half-turned away from you in the middle of a heated
conversation with the others. There’s a little pang of jealousy in your chest at the sight of him
leaning in close to Pieck, but you try to ignore it as you turn your body toward Eren.

“I was really worried about you,” Eren says, squeezing your knee gently. “I’m glad you came
out tonight.”

***

Thankfully, Eren manages to convince Floch to stop ordering shots, but Floch still makes
sure the waitress is on top of keeping everyone’s drinks full, much to her chagrin. By the time
a round of appetizers are delivered to the table, you can already feel your face burning and
your fingertips buzzing from the alcohol.

Aside from Jean and Eren, you haven’t spent much time with your other coworkers in such a
positive setting. It’s nice to have the opportunity to drink and chat with everyone and forget
about work for a little bit, you even find yourself laughing at a few of Pieck’s jokes.

Eren spends most of the evening whispering in your ear with his hand on your thigh and you
can’t find the strength to brush him off. You know that Jean doesn’t like to see Eren touch
you like this — but you doubt he even notices from the way he’s spent the evening turned
toward Pieck.

You can’t deny the fact that you’re jealous of the attention Jean’s giving her. Even though you
asked Jean about her back at his house and you know nothing’s there, you can’t help feeling
like you’ve been cast aside for her at dinner. He’s laughing at all of her jokes and engaging
with her in such a spirited conversation that you can’t help but feel jealous.

Jean is your boyfriend, he should be giving you that kind of attention.

You find yourself desperately glancing back at Jean while you’re talking to Eren, hoping that
Jean will turn around and talk to you — but he never does.

Eren squeezes your leg a little tighter, drawing your attention back to him. “Are you having
fun?”

“Yes, I’m having lots of fun,” you say, and he smiles. “Are we still going out dancing?”

“Is that what you want?” Eren glances over at the others. “Looks like they still want to sit and
chat, but I can take you.”

You glance back at the group again, lips pursed in thought. “No, we should wait for
everyone.”

“They won’t even notice if we leave.”

“I want the others to come, too,” you say with a tone of finality, and you twist away to face
Jean, tapping him on the arm to get his attention. “Do you want to go dancing?”

Jean looks over at you for what feels like the first time since the evening began. His cheeks
are flushed from alcohol and he has that far-away, dazed look in his eyes that he gets when
he’s had too much.

He purses his lips in thought, glancing amongst the group before his gaze falls on Eren. You
watch Jean’s eyes trail from Eren’s face along the length of his arm until he sees Eren’s hand
resting on your thigh.

“Let’s have a few more drinks here first, yeah?” Jean says, smirking at Eren as he places his
hand on your opposite thigh.

Jean slides his hand up your leg and under your dress until his hand is slotted firmly between
your legs. You squirm a little at the feeling, but your thighs fall open unconsciously to give
him more access. You’re unsettled by the way the two boys are glaring at each other, but your
heart races when you feel Eren’s palm slide up to brush against the bottom hem of your dress.

You find yourself growing excited from the feeling of their hands on you, wishing that they
would touch you more. You wonder what it would be like to have Jean and Eren at the same
time. You picture yourself with your back pressed against Jean's chest, legs held open with
his large hands as Eren’s mouth trails across your body and you almost shiver in arousal.

But you know that’s just the alcohol talking — something like that would never happen.

You watch Eren’s jaw clench and his eyes narrow as he looks at Jean, before his gaze shifts to
something slightly behind Jean and you see all of the emotion drain from Eren’s face. Eren’s
eyes are fixed at the doorway, brows furrowed in concern as his body stiffens and he removes
his hand from your leg.

“Shit,” he whispers, glancing back at Jean. “This isn’t good.”

You and Jean move to look at the doorway and you see two vaguely familiar men
approaching the table. Jean moves his hand from between your legs just as Pieck and Reiner
perk up in excitement.

“Bertolt! Porco!” Reiner says, standing up so quickly that his chair almost knocks backward.
“What are you guys doing here?” he looks over at Pieck, “Was this your doing?”

She grins back at him, nodding and practically vibrating in excitement as the two men
approach. “We wanted to surprise you, Reiner.”

Reiner looks like he’s about to burst into tears when Bertolt approaches him, long arms
wrapping around Reiner’s broad frame into a tight embrace. Porco stands off to the side,
sending a wink at Pieck as he waits for Bertolt to step aside, and then he pulls Reiner into a
big, rough hug.

“Guys —” Even over the loud music in the restaurant, you can hear the way Reiner’s voice
cracks when he looks at his two friends. You’re still trying to calm yourself down from your
dirty thoughts, but it’s heartwarming to see Reiner look so happy after knowing how much
he’s been struggling.

You shoot a glance over to Pieck to see her looking at you. She smiles and mouths Great idea
— right, you suggested this. That feels like a lifetime ago.

After Porco steps away from his hug with Reiner, Reiner grabs at Bertolt again, clinging to
him like he’s Reiner’s lifeline. “Woah! Easy, Reiner,” Bertolt laughs and slings his arm
around Reiner’s shoulders, squeezing him tight against his side. “We’re not going anywhere.”

“I’m just so happy to see you guys,” Reiner rubs at his eyes with the heel of his hand and you
look up at him fondly.

“What’s up, Kirstein? I see you still have that stupid fucking mullet.”

“Galliard,” Jean spits in response when Porco settles in the empty seat next to Pieck. “You're
still styling your hair with bacon grease, eh?”

“Shut the fuck up, dude. At least I’m not a fuckin’ beanpole like you,” Porco looks over at
Bertolt, “No offense.”

“None taken,” Bertolt says, raising his hands by his chest in defeat as he settles into the seat
next to Reiner. “I thought the two of you would’ve outgrown this little,” he gestures vaguely
between Jean and Porco, “Whatever.”

“I’ll say,” Pieck says, rolling her eyes. She turns to look at Porco with a tight frown, “Be
nice,” she scolds before turning to look at Jean, too. “Same with you.”
Porco throws his arm around the back of Pieck’s chair and you watch her body stiffen as the
two boys glare across from her. Porco tries to put his hand on Pieck’s shoulder but she swats
him away and leans forward in her chair, resting her elbows on the table as she poorly masks
her discomfort with a tight smile.

“Have you guys eaten yet?” she asks, looking over at Bertolt as finally shoves Reiner's arm
off of him.

“We stopped for burgers on our way into town, so we’re good for food,” Bertolt explains. He
laughs, jerking his thumb in Porco’s direction, “You know how hangry this guy gets if he
doesn’t eat every couple of hours.”

“The Jaw,” Pieck teases, gnashing her teeth in Porco’s direction.

“I thought you liked my mouth, sweetheart,” he croons, lips pursed as he grabs Pieck’s face
with one hand, squishing her cheeks.

She pushes him away with a giggle, but her body is still stiff and awkward. “Pock!” she
hisses.

You watch Jean’s eyes narrow as he stares at the interaction, jaw tightening, and hands
clenching into fists against his thighs.

“Shots? Shots, anyone?” Eren calls from the far end of the table, drawing everyone’s
attention. “Come on, since everyone’s here now, we should have a little —” he wiggles an
empty shot glass in the air. “Eh?”

“I like the sound of that,” Floch says loudly. “Where’s our waitress? Let’s get another round
going.”

You can tell Eren is trying to diffuse the tense energy at the table caused by Jean and Porco,
but it’s not working. You realize quickly where you recognize Reiner’s two friends from and
know exactly why the tension is so thick.

When Jean and Pieck were dating, you and the other members of the Core Four went to
Marley to watch the Scouts play against the Warriors. Jean and Porco got into a fight that
almost cost the Scouts the game — and you thought it was strange because Jean didn’t
usually get violent on the ice.

Jean wasn’t supposed to come to the after-party because he was going to hang out with Pieck,
so you were surprised when he showed up with red-rimmed eyes. You found out later that
evening that Pieck slept with another guy and the two broke up shortly before Jean arrived.

From the way the two boys are interacting at dinner, you’d be stupid not to put two-and-two
together.

Porco is the guy that Pieck cheated on Jean with.

But Jean said he didn’t have feelings for her anymore. He said he wasn’t interested in getting
back together with her. He said he liked you.
So why is he getting so mad watching Porco touch Pieck?

***

If you thought Jean was ignoring you before, that’s nothing compared to the way he’s treating
you now.

His body has been completely turned to the side ever since Porco arrived, effectively
blocking you out of the conversation entirely by having his back toward you. It sucks — it
feels really shitty — but you try to rationalize it by telling yourself that he’s just worked up
seeing Porco again after so long. Of course, he’d be angry seeing the guy that stole his
girlfriend… even if it was years ago.

“I talked with Petra,” Eren says, snapping you out of your thoughts as you swirl the ice from
your drink around your glass. You can’t even remember how many drinks and shots you’ve
had tonight, it feels like you’ve been at this restaurant for hours. “She told me you aren’t
coming to work on Monday.”

“She suggested I take the day off,” you say with a shrug. “I don’t know. Why delay the
inevitable? I know they’re going to fire me.”

“Hey, maybe they won’t,” he says, resting his hand on your thigh as he leans toward you.
“What have you got planned for the day?”

“Working on my resume, I guess,” you say with a bitter laugh.

Eren laughs, squeezing your thigh gently. “How about I take Monday off, too? We can spend
the day together.”

It’s tempting, but you shake your head. “No, Eren, you don’t have to do that.”

“I want to,” he urges, smiling. “I wanna hang out with you. You can come over to my place
or I can take you out… whatever you want.”

He reaches his other hand to cup your face, brushing this thumb across your cheek as he
smiles at you. You want to lean into the warmth of his palm, but instead, your brows furrow
and you swat his hand away.

“I think we should stop hooking up,” you say suddenly, and it surprises even yourself. You
didn’t want to have this conversation with Eren tonight, but with the alcohol and Jean’s back
facing you, you find yourself speaking without thinking. “We should end things.”

“You’re drunk,” he laughs, but it’s forced and his palm feels clammy on your thigh.

“No, Eren, I’m serious,” you say, looking at him as sternly as you can manage. “We don’t
need to keep seeing each other anymore.”

“Let’s talk about this later,” he says dismissively, but you push.

“I don’t want to do this with you anymore.”

“Come on, you’re drunk,” he says, but his cheerful facade is quickly crumbling. “You don’t
know what you’re saying.”

You want to keep pushing — pushing and pushing Eren away until you’re just left with Jean,
but you start to hear Jean speaking louder behind you, tone harsh, and you turn around to
survey the situation.

Pieck is pressed against the backrest of her chair, eyes wide in a daze looking down at her
plate as Porco and Jean snap at each other across from her. Bertolt and Reiner are trying to
mediate as Floch looks over in amusement, but Jean and Porco are lost in their discussion.

“Stop acting like you own her,” Jean spits, jabbing his finger in Porco’s direction. “You’re so
fucking disrespectful.”

“Cry more, loser,” Porco laughs, rolling his eyes. “You’re not still jealous that I won, are
you? That’s so fucking pathetic.”

“You’re fucking pathetic.”

“It’s been years, man! Get over it! Do you know how many times Pieck’s been on my dick
since then?”

“Pock!”

“Shut the fuck up,” Jean says to Porco, scowling. “Don’t say shit like that.”

“What? Don’t like hearing about how often I rail my girlfriend?” Porco taunts, eyes gleaming
as he thrusts his hips into the air from his seat. “You know, she tells me all the time about
how you never satisfied her. How she had to fake it with you.”

“Pock, stop it!”

“Girlfriend?” Jean looks over at Pieck but she avoids his eyes, still staring down at the plate
in front of her as she grows more and more flustered.

“Oh, you didn’t know?” Porco almost sounds hurt but his face remains smug. “Pieck and I
have been dating ever since she dumped your ass.”

Jean stiffens as Porco throws his arm around Pieck’s shoulder, pulling her close to his side,
and you hear the scuffing of Eren’s chair on the floor as he stands up behind you.

“Don’t tell me you thought you still had a chance with her — you’re so fucking pathetic,”
Porco spits the words out as Jean stands to retaliate.

Eren grabs Jean by the collar, dragging him away from the table despite Jean’s protests.
“Come on, let’s go get some air,” Eren says sharply, knuckles turning white as he grips Jean
tightly.

You watch after the two boys in alarm, eyes wide and body frozen in place until Porco’s
laughter snaps you back to your senses.
“Can you believe that freak?” he asks, looking over at Bertolt and Reiner across the table,
who are staring at him with frowns.

“Was that really necessary?” Bertolt asks, stern.

Porco ignores him. “Why didn’t you tell him we were together?” he asks, turning to look at
Pieck. “Are you embarrassed?”

“Of course not, Pock,” she assures, pressing both palms flat on his chest. “I love you, you
know that. I called you every night when I was at Trost, remember?”

“Then what was that all about?” he asks, gesturing to the doorway. “Why was he acting like
there was something going on between you guys?”

“There’s not,” she says. “We just work together. I think he’s still hurt from what happened.”

“You’re such a fucking bitch,” you snap, and all eyes turn toward you. “I always knew you
were taking advantage of him. You flirt with him all the time at work and then neglect to
mention the fact that you have a fucking boyfriend.”

“You flirt with him?” Porco asks quietly, but Pieck ignores him.

“I already told you I’m not interested in Jean,” Pieck assures, brows furrowing. “I don’t like
to talk about my personal life with coworkers, is that a problem?”

“It’s a problem if you omit details to make yourself seem available,” you snap, crossing your
arms over your chest. “You know exactly what you’re doing — you’re toying with his
feelings.”

Pieck clenches her hands into fists on the table, biting her lip hard like she’s trying to hold
back from speaking before blurting out: “Don’t act like you’re not doing the exact same
thing!”

“What the hell are you talking about?” you ask, bristling.

Reiner stands up, “I’m going to go check on them,” he says, but you stand, too.

“No, I’ll go,” you insist, reaching a hand out to stop him. “Your friends are here, stay with
them.”

“Are you sure you don’t need me?” he asks, brows furrowed.

“I’ll be fine.”

“Hey, You! You better not leave,” Floch says, eyes narrowed as he looks up at you from his
seat. “You still need to pay for our meal.”

“I can cover it,” Reiner assures, nodding toward you. “Just go.”

You nod, grateful, and chase after Eren and Jean.

 ***

“Pull it together, you’re fucking embarrassing yourself,” Eren snaps, still holding on to Jean
tightly as the two stand outside. You catch up with them quickly, hovering off to the side as
the two boys scuffle.

“Let go of me,” Jean snaps, jerking his arm out of Eren’s grip. Once he’s free, he stumbles a
little on his feet and Eren reaches forward again to steady him.

Jean has had a lot to drink tonight — Eren’s never seen him act this way before. Eren’s drunk
too from all the shots Floch ordered, but he’s been trying to sober up since Porco arrived. He
knew Porco was going to cause drama tonight — what was Pieck thinking inviting him?

“What’s wrong with you?” Eren asks, face twisted into a deep frown as he tries to get Jean to
look at him. “I’m calling you a cab, you’re acting like a fucking teenager.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Jean groans and he shoves at Eren’s chest. His movements are sloppy and
uncoordinated, but Jean is still strong, so the two boys stumble together from the force of his
shove. “You’re such a piece of shit.”

Eren sighs in exasperation, glancing over at you before focusing back on Jean. “Just shut up
for two seconds, ok?”

He steers Jean over to a bench on the sidewalk, settling him firmly down on the seat before
moving away and pulling out his phone. You immediately rush to Jean’s side as Eren calls a
cab and Eren lingers close by to watch the two of you interact. He’s not sure what Jean’s
mental state is like right now and he’s worried Jean is about to do something stupid.

“Hey, is everything ok?” you ask, one hand on Jean’s shoulder as you crane around to look at
his face. “What happened in there?”

Jean presses the heels of his hands against his eyes as he groans in frustration. “Fuck that guy,
man.”

“What happened?” you press, reaching up to pull his hands from his face. “Are you ok?”

“I’m fucking fine,” he snaps and you recoil from his tone.

“Hey, be nice to her,” Eren says, jamming his phone back in his pocket and standing in front
of you and Jean on the bench. “She’s trying to help you.”

“Fuck off, Jaeger.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Jean stands up, teetering on his feet before taking a
threatening step toward Eren. “Why are you always in my fucking business? Just leave us the
fuck alone.”
“You’re drunk,” Eren says, brows furrowed as he watches Jean take another step toward him.
“Sit back down before you fall on your ass.”

Eren and Jean haven’t gotten in a fight — a real, physical fight — since they were teenagers.
Half of the time they were together growing up was spent rolling around on the ground, fists
flying, as Armin tried to calm them down. After high school when their hormones and
testosterone leveled out, they stopped getting into as many scuffles.

But Eren’s been in enough brawls with Jean to recognize when he’s about to swing a punch
— shifting his weight onto his back foot, clenching his hands into tight fists, swinging his
shoulder back before stepping forward and launching his fist toward Eren’s face.

It happens so fast and Jean is only standing about a foot away from Eren, but he’s able to
shift himself back enough that Jean’s fist flies just past his nose.

“What the fuck?” Eren hisses, stepping back into the road as Jean throws another punch.

This one connects with Eren’s cheek, knocking him back further as he stumbles into the
street. Blinded by rage and fueled with alcohol, Eren launches himself forward, grabbing at
Jean’s shirt and twisting him off his balance until the two boys tumble onto the ground to the
sound of cars honking on the road.

Eren can’t hear you screaming for them to stop over the rushing blood in his ears. He
straddles Jean’s hips, pinning him down to the ground as he presses his hands flat against
Jean’s chest. Jean groans in retaliation, arm reaching up to grab at Eren’s throat — squeezing
and pushing him away as his other hand grabs at Eren’s wrist.

“Jean — stop,” Eren chokes as Jean’s large hand squeezes around his neck. Jean’s arms are
longer than Eren’s and Eren is finding it difficult to keep himself rooted on Jean’s chest as he
pushes him away.

When he starts to feel light-headed, Eren brings both hands up to grab around Jean’s on his
throat, prying his fingers off of his neck and loosening his grip. With Eren’s weight off his
chest, Jean takes the opportunity to flip the two boys over, pinning Eren beneath him.

Eren takes huge, gasping gulps of air when Jean releases his grip around his throat, only to
have Jean’s hands grab at his shirt as he pulls him up off the ground. “Mind your own fucking
business,” he sneers, slamming Eren back down on the ground — hard.

Eren coughs as the wind is knocked out of his lungs and he cradles the back of his head with
his hands to stop it from slamming against the concrete when Jean does it again and again.
Eren can faintly hear the sound of you yelling over the ringing in his ears and suddenly he
feels so fucking embarrassed to be losing this fight.

“Come on, where’s that tough-guy attitude now?” Jean spits, pounding Eren harder and
harder into the concrete.

Eren can taste blood in his mouth from Jean’s initial punch and collects it on his tongue
before spitting up into Jean’s face. Disgusted, Jean’s grip loosens on Eren’s shirt to palm at
the mess on his cheek. Eren uses the opportunity to flip their positioning, pinning Jean down
on the ground beneath him, straddling one of Jean’s thighs while the other hooks around
Eren’s hips.

His intention is to hold Jean pinned to the ground until he calms down, but as Eren’s gripping
the collar of Jean’s shirt, it slides down off his shoulder, and Eren’s vision goes completely
red. He sees a dark purple bruise on Jean’s collarbone, along with a smeared mess of lipstick
that Eren immediately recognizes to be the one that you have on your lips.

He knows the two of you are sleeping together, but seeing it confirmed like this sends Eren
into an absolute rage.

Eren pulls his fist back, launching it forward to connect solidly with Jean’s face with a
sickening thunk! before pulling back to hit him again. Jean cowers behind his arms, holding
them up to protect his face and finally, your words break through Eren’s rage-filled fog.

“Eren! Stop it!”

You’re grabbing at his shoulders, pulling him up and off of Jean’s body. Eren’s stronger than
you, so he could keep pummelling Jean’s face if he wanted to, but he doesn’t. He lets you
pull him away.

“What’s wrong with you?” you yell, practically throwing Eren aside before rushing to Jean’s
aid.

Eren watches with tightness in his chest as you help Jean sit up on the ground, doting over his
injuries and the blood on his face while Eren stands off to the side — hands and throat aching
from the fight.

“Why do you always pick his side?” Eren asks, adrenaline still pumping in his veins. “You
always defend him over me.”

You look over at Eren with a frown, as if you’re upset that he’s even asking you this question.
“What are you talking about?”

“Jean threw the first punch, why aren’t you on my side?”

“It doesn’t matter who threw the first punch,” you say, exasperated. “You shouldn’t have
been fighting at all!”

With a scowl, you turn back to Jean and Eren watches as you brush the hair out of his eyes
and wipe the blood off of his chin. Eren runs both hands through his hair in frustration,
feeling the burn of jealousy in his gut as he pulls at his hair.

“He didn’t look at you once, all night,” Eren says, angry. “He was too busy flirting with Pieck
and fighting with Porco — but you know who was there? Who was sitting next to you,
keeping you company while your so-called best friend ignored you all night?” Eren feels
hysterical as he speaks, and you’re not even looking at him at all.
He calls your name, desperately, as you brush your thumbs across Jean’s cheeks, and finally,
you whirl around to face him again. “What do you want, Eren?”

I want you. He doesn’t deserve you. I want you to leave Jean on the curb and come home with
me. I need you. I love you.

“I want you to come home with me,” he says, his thoughts all coming out in a jumbled mess
and you frown at him.

“What?” you ask, looking at him in confusion. “I told you we’re not doing that anymore,
Eren.”

“No, that’s not what I meant — I don’t want to have sex with you — I mean, I do —” he’s
flustered, now. “Stop touching Jean.”

“He’s bleeding!”

“I’m bleeding!” Eren says, desperate, gesturing toward his split knuckles. “What about me?
Why aren’t you helping me?”

Eren knows he’s being childish by throwing a tantrum like this, but he’s so fucking frustrated
seeing you dote over Jean when he’s done nothing to deserve it. Eren wants you to care for
him like that, he wants you to worry about him, he wants you to want him.

You look at Eren in exasperation and shake your head before turning back to Jean.

Eren leans against the bench, frowning as he picks at the torn skin on his knuckles and tries
to ignore the giant lump in his throat. He swallows thickly and it only makes things worse.
He thinks about what he could have done differently to prevent you from getting mad at him
— should he have just let Jean beat the shit out of him? Probably. Maybe then you'd be
doting over him, instead.

“Let me see,” you say quietly, appearing beside him and reaching out for his hands.

He silently lets you take his hands and you brush your fingers against the torn and inflamed
skin. He can see that your hands are trembling, even when you grip him tight to try to hide it.
Eren lifts his eyes to your face as his heart races in his chest, tongue heavy with unspoken
words.

“You’re pretty torn up,” you say, inspecting his wounds. “But you should be ok, you just need
some bandages or something…” You swallow thickly, brushing your thumb across his
knuckles before speaking again, keeping your eyes low. “I’m sorry for yelling at you, Eren.
I’m just scared.”

“Of what?”

“Of you guys getting hurt,” you confess, looking up at Eren’s face with watery eyes. “I don’t
want you two to fight. You were fighting in the street and there were cars and I —” Your
words get caught in your throat as the tears start to spill from your eyes.
You look down at the ground as you continue to hold Eren’s hands in yours and Eren gives
you a soft, comforting squeeze. “You’re right,” he says quietly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to
scare you.”

You nod and let Eren pull a hand from your grasp to wipe at the tears on your cheeks with his
thumb. “I know you guys hate each other, but just…”

Eren can tell you’re at a complete loss for words, so he wraps his arms around your
shoulders, pulling you close against his chest, and letting you sob into his shirt.

“I’m really sorry,” he says, kissing your temple. “I’ll be better for you.”

He slides one arm down to wrap around your waist while his other hand presses against the
back of your head, cradling you tight against his body. “You scared me, too,” he says into
your temple, “Yesterday at the airport… I didn’t know what to do.”

“It’s ok,” you mumble into his chest, and he takes a long shuddering breath.

“Fuck, I just wish… I wish I could’ve done more,” he sighs heavily, burying his face in your
neck. “It hurt so bad to see you in pain like that.”

He kisses your shoulder softly, just brushing his lips against your skin as he breathes you in.
He inches his mouth slowly up your throat, feeling your pulse jump under his lips, and
guiding your face out from where it’s buried in his chest. Cupping your jaw with his hand, he
watches as you look up at him, pained. Your gaze darts from his eyes to his mouth and as he
watches you run your tongue along your lower lip, he moves in to kiss you.

“Eren,” you start, lifting your hands to push him away, and he stills. “I told you I want to
stop.” You tilt your head away from his mouth, looking over at him with furrowed brows.

He looks down at your face and his heart twists in his chest, with the alcohol rushing in his
veins, he feels compelled to speak — against all of Armin’s advice.

“Can I tell you something?” he asks, feeling like a child as he looks at you expectantly,
chewing at his lower lip.

Your brows crinkle cutely and you say, “Yeah, of course.”

He curls forward, resting his head on your shoulder and slipping both arms around your waist
to hold you tight, grounding himself as he takes a shuddered inhale. You hesitate for a
moment before wrapping your arms around his shoulders, and when you do, he practically
crumbles against your body.

“I’ve never said anything like this to someone before,” he says. He squeezes your body a
little tighter against his and sighs heavily. “I feel like been holding this in for so fucking long
and it's tearing me apart. I can't keep pretending like I don't care about you… I can't watch
you be with him knowing that I can make you happier.”

“Eren, what’s this —“

“Please, let me finish,” he says, voice wavering. “I don’t know how to say this… Fuck, I
know what I’m doing is just selfish and pathetic — but I need to tell you. I… fuck,” his hands
clench into fists against your back and he rolls his face until it’s nuzzled against your neck.
He confesses quietly against your skin, so quietly that he’s certain you can’t hear him but he
can’t bring himself to speak any louder.

“What, Eren?”

He whimpers against your neck, eyes tightly clenched shut for a long moment before he
raises his voice slightly and continues. “I’ve never felt like this before and I’m so fucking
afraid I'm going to lose you. I don’t want to be the man I am without you. I can’t imagine
watching you be with him when I’m right here.”

Eren takes a long, shuddering breath as he feels tears rolling from his tightly shut eyes. “I
know you have feelings for him and I know he makes you happy, for some fucking reason.
But… I could make you happy, too. I know I’m not perfect — fuck, far from it. But… I’ll
always be there for you — just like I am right now, just like I have been, all this time.”

Eren sniffles and he hopes it’s not completely obvious that he’s sobbing into your shoulder.
“Is there any part of you that feels the same? After all the time we spent together? Is there
any part of you that thinks that… that maybe you could choose me?”

“What?” you say, soft and quiet. “Eren, you… what?”

“I love you,” he repeats, speaking loud enough now for you to hear him and squeezing you
tight as his voice cracks around the words. “I love you so much it drives me fucking insane. I
love you. I love you.”

Each time he says it, his chest feels lighter. Like each word was weighing him down and
saying it out loud relieves him of that aching burden, but with each second that passes by
without your response, he finds himself sinking again.

“Eren, I…” you stammer over your words. “Why are you saying this?”

You start to push away away from you and Eren lets you slip out of his grasp. He feels his
body grow cold and his heart tighten in his chest when he sees you looking up at him with
furrowed brows.

“You… you said… Eren — what?” you stumble over your words, voice cracking in panic as
you take a staggered step backward.

Eren reaches out for you but you dodge his grasp and his hands curl back into his chest as if
wounded. “Hey, come on… talk to me,” he urges.

You shake your head, eyes brimming with tears as you bring a hand up to cradle your
forehead. “Why would you say that to me?”

“I don’t expect you to love me,” he says, taking another pained step toward you as you step
back. “I just want to know that you feel something for me — please, you do, right?”
Eren nods as if he’s trying to convince himself, closing the gap between you again to rest his
hands on your arms softly. “It took me a long time to realize, too,” he says, swallowing back
the lump in his throat. “But you always came to me. You always wanted to be with me, even
when you said it was because of… because of someone else.”

He shakes his head, squeezing your arms gently as you look up at him in shock. “Just like
how I always want to be with you,” he insists. “I don’t just want to have sex with you
anymore — I wanna hold your hand in a goddamn airport! I wanna sit next to you when
we're at dinner with our friends! I wanna buy you coffee in the morning just to see you smile
at me! I want —”

Eren chokes, cutting himself off as he pulls you close to him. “Please, please. Don’t tell me
that I’m imagining things… you feel it too, right?”

He’s momentarily distracted by a taxi pulling up next to the two of you and he lets you
squirm out of his grasp. Eren shoves his hands into his pockets to hide his shaking, but it’s so
bad that even his teeth are chattering as he watches you return to Jean’s side.

He watches you help Jean back up to his feet and Eren opens the backdoor to the taxi to help
you guide Jean in. He tries to ignore the twist in his chest from the way you avoid looking at
him.

Eren frowns when you crawl into the taxi behind Jean and he looms in the doorway, looking
at you as you reach for the seatbelt.

“Don’t go with him,” Eren says. And there’s so much more he wants to say to you. He’s
almost ready to get down on his knees and beg for you, but you’re still not looking at him.

“I don’t know what else to do,” you say. You frown at Eren, reaching forward to grab the
interior handle of the door. “I'll see you later.”

He holds the door open firmly. “No,” he says. “Stay with me.”

“I can't stay,” you respond, still tugging on the door. “I have to be with Jean.”

Jean grumbles from the other side of the car at the mention of his name, head slumped
against the window, half-passed out. He reaches his long arms out, wrapping one around your
waist and pulling you against him in the backseat of the taxi.

This time, Eren grabs at your wrist, tugging you gently toward him as his brows knit in
frustration. “Come on,” he begs, “Stay with me.”

Eren feels so small as he tugs on you, pleading for you to stay — but you twist your wrist out
of his grasp and regard him carefully. There are tears lining your eyes and Eren feels like his
heart is shattering into a million pieces as he watches you lace your fingers with Jean’s.

“Goodbye, Eren.”

And when the door slams shut, Eren feels his heart breaking.
Chapter End Notes

EDIT: Please go check out Beautiful by shepnicolo it's an alternate ending to this
chapter, where Reader leaves with Eren and it's honestly perfect.
 Jean fucking Kirstein (e)
Chapter Notes

cw: Alcohol, explicit language, angst, minor physical violence, explicit sexual content
(oral sex, fingering, vaginal sex, dirty talk, rough sex), dubious consent: drunk sex.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

“Jean, stop squirming,” you scold, frowning as you fuss over him. “Let me take a look at
you.”

Jean's confused, he hardly knows how he made it home. One minute he was yelling at Porco
at dinner, then he was rolling on the ground with Eren, and now suddenly he’s in his room,
sitting on his bed, with you.

“Eren got you good,” you say, face close to Jean’s as you inspect his injury. “You’ll probably
have a black eye for a while.”

Why are you taking care of him like this? You should be mad at him after the way he acted
tonight, but instead, your lips are pursed in concern as you dab at his face with a cotton ball.
Even through Jean's drunken haze, he can see that your eyes are red and swollen — you're
upset, really upset.

"What did I do?" Jean asks quietly, letting his eyes fall shut.

You hesitate to answer and it makes Jean feel even worse — it must've been bad.

"You got in a fight with Eren," you say, and your voice shakes a little when you speak. "The
two of you were hitting each other pretty hard."

"Is he ok?"

"He's... he's fine," you say, and he feels the sting of antiseptic on his face from where you're
tending to his wounds. "Are you ok?"

Jean scoffs — are you really asking him that right now? "I'm fine," he sighs, struggling to
hide the annoyance in his tone.

It's been a long time since Jean and Eren have gotten into a physical fight, but they always
end the same: Eren holding Jean down until he calms down. The fact that Jean is injured from
this fight tells him that something is different. Eren didn't usually hit back unless he was
defending someone else.
"Why did we fight?" Jean asks, eyes fluttering open to look at you again. You meet his gaze
and look away quickly and he feels his heart twisting in his gut.

"I don't know... he was trying to help you."

"Fuck," Jean hisses, closing his eyes shut again. He tilts his head away from you and cradles
it in his hands, breathing heavily against his palms. He can feel you shifting on the bed, but
you stay seated next to him. With just this little pressure on his face, he can feel the ache on
his orbital bone from where Eren, presumably, hit him.

"Hey, it's ok, you guys were drunk," you say softly, resting a hand on Jean's shoulder but he
twists away from you.

"Why are you here?" he groans into his hands. "Why are you taking care of me?"

"Because you're my boyfriend —"

"You should hate me. You should be afraid of me," Jean insists, face still buried in his hands.
With a heavy sigh, he runs both hands through his hair to look over at you, and your face is
still twisted in concern. "How could you see me fighting like that and just be ok with it?"

You stammer over your words, brows furrowing, and Jean just shakes his head. He's about to
tell you to leave him alone when he hears you whispering beside him.

"Jean... I'm in love with you," you say quietly, and he turns to look at you so quickly it makes
him dizzy. "I've been in love with you for so long... that doesn't just go away because you
made a mistake."

Jean feels nauseous.

How can you be in love with him after everything you've seen? You saw how dysfunctional
his family is. You know how Jean's incapable of achieving anything without his father's
influence. And you're taking care of him after he got in a fistfight with Eren, just because
Eren had the gall to fucking help him.

Jean has always been so afraid of having a relationship like his parents. The idea of him ever
treating someone the way that his father treats his mom makes him want to scream — and
here you are, acting just like her and forgiving him for doing something unforgivable.

"You don't love me," Jean insists, resting his face back against his palms. "You don't even
know me."

"Jean, we've been friends for years —"

"Yeah, and have you ever seen me do that before?" Jean asks, lifting his head back up and
throwing his hand out. "I got in a fight with Eren in front of a bunch of our
fucking coworkers. Do you think that's ok?"

"Nobody saw," you insist, frowning. "It was just a mistake, it's ok, Jean."
"It's not a mistake," he says with another heavy sigh. "I do shit like that, ok? Or at least, I
used to. I used to always get in fights with Eren when we were kids. I used to beat other
people up just for the fucking fun of it. I'm not a good person — I'm a piece of shit."

"Used to," you emphasize, latching on to the least important bit of what Jean's trying to tell
you. "You used to be like that... not anymore."

"Clearly not," Jean scoffs, gesturing at his face and you wince and look away. "Clearly, I'm
still a stupid fucking kid that doesn't know how to control his anger."

"It's ok —"

"Stop excusing my behaviour," Jean hisses. "You shouldn't be ok with this. I beat someone
up!"

You fall silent, looking down at the cotton ball in your hands that you were using to clean
Jean's wounds. "You don't get to tell me how to feel," you say quietly.

Jean feels like he's talking to a brick wall. With a heavy sigh, he flops onto his back on the
bed, arms outstretched as he looks up at the ceiling.

He feels... conflicted.

He's wanted to be with you for so long, but he was always afraid that you'd realize who he
really is and run away screaming — yet here you are, fighting to stay. He should be happy,
this is exactly what he's been dreaming of and hoping for after all this time.

But at the same time, tonight is a painful reminder that no matter how hard he tries, he's
always going to be just like his father. He's a grown-ass adult and he's still throwing punches
to solve his problems — that's not normal. He doesn't want you to be with someone who acts
the way he does.

If you were dating someone else and Jean found out they beat the shit out of somebody, Jean
would lose his fucking mind. He'd organize an intervention with Connie and Sasha to get you
to end things because someone who's violent like that, isn't safe.

You're not safe with Jean.

"I'm sorry I'm such a shitty person," he sighs, eyes falling closed again. "I don't deserve you."

When Jean feels the weight of your body sitting on his hips, he blinks his eyes open to see
you straddling him, your palms resting on his chest.

"You're ok, Jean," you hum, voice soft as you lean forward into him. You press your lips
gently against his and Jean finds himself bringing his hands up to wrap around your body.

He's still annoyed — annoyed with himself, annoyed at the situation, and now, annoyed
with you. He wants to talk to you. Especially now, with the severity of what happened
tonight.
But instead, you're grinding your hips down into him and slipping your tongue into his
mouth. All he wants to do is understand what's going on in your head, but he can't when
every time he tries, you deflect it by making out and fucking. Sometimes, you make him feel
like all he's good for is sex.

Nothing's been resolved but when you weave your fingers through his hair and moan into his
mouth, he feels his dick jerk in his pants. He runs his hands up and down your sides,
following the curve of your breasts, down your waist, until his hands are cupping your ass.

Yes, he's annoyed and doesn't really want to fuck after what happened tonight, but it's hard to
turn you down when you're grinding against him. It's hard to stay focused through his
drunken haze when your body is pressed into him like this.

You gasp at his touch, tugging on his hair and deepening the kiss as Jean’s hands grip firmly
around your hips. He shifts your hips forward and back against his growing erection, reveling
in the way you pant out his name around his tongue. You pull away from him and climb off
his lap, suddenly, and by the time he opens his eyes, you are already kneeling between his
legs on the ground in front of him. He swallows loudly as you reach a hand up to palm at his
cock through his jeans.

“Just relax, ok?” you say, looking up at him with half-lidded eyes, already working on his
belt, and then pulling down his zipper. “Let me take care of you.”

His head is so hazy, he can only stutter around a response. Wasn't there something he wanted
to talk to you about? It's hard to think when you press your palm against the bulge in his
jeans.

“Relax,” you insist, and he nods.

He loses all train of thought when you wrap your fingers around him, tugging your lower lip
between your teeth as you look up at him with awe.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this,” you say, eyes wide as your hand lazily strokes up and
down his length. “You’re just so fucking big, Jean.”

Is that all you care about? The size of his fucking dick?

He wants to laugh, but when your thumb slides across his weeping tip he can only groan in
response. You look up at him with a smirk, rolling your tongue between your lips before
pursing them up at him. Your tongue darts out of your mouth to lick a long stripe from his
balls to his tip and Jean moans loudly from the depths of his chest at the sight.

“Is that good?”

“Really good,” he says quickly.

You smirk and do it again, eyes trained on him carefully as he tries not to buck his hips
against your face. And then again. And again.
His tip is leaking precum steadily as you trace the veins on his cock with your tongue. You
pump your hand a few more times before finally taking the entire head into your mouth, and
Jean groans in approval. “Yeah, that’s good,” he whispers, breathless as you flatten your
tongue along the bottom of his cock and take him further into your throat.

You can’t take all of him, but you try your absolute hardest to stuff him down your throat and
Jean can only look down at you in stunned awe. Your lips stretch around his girth, eyes
watering as your hands work on the remaining length, and Jean groans at the sight.

“Poor girl, can’t fit it all, huh?” he says, watching drool leak from your mouth along his
length. “You’re doing good, keep sucking me just like that.”

Jean feels like he could lose it right here, but he holds himself back, gripping the sheets
tightly as you look up at him through your lashes. He groans, unable to tear his eyes away
from the sight of your head bobbing on his cock. The loud, wet sounds of you sucking and
choking on him drowning out any other thought inside his head. “Fuck. Fuck.”

Your lips and chin are coated in spit and Jean is losing his goddamn mind. He allows one of
his hands to release its punishing grip on the sheets to pull your hair away from your face. He
can’t take his eyes off you and he doesn’t want anything in the way. God, how did he get so
fucking lucky to have you do something like this for him?

“You look so fucking pretty with my cock in your mouth.”

You’re able to build a rhythm on his length that has him sighing and gasping above you. He
wants to stay like this forever, with his cock buried in your throat, but his balls ache for
release. Fuck, you’re way too good at this.

He lets his eyes fall shut and his head roll back as your tongue swirls around his tip. “Fuck, if
you keep doing that I’m gonna cum,” he moans. His legs tremble on either side of you as you
suck his soul out of his body.

He whimpers your name, quietly and breathlessly as you pull off from him with a satisfying
pop! and look up at him with watery eyes. Such a fucking tease, he thinks, balls tight,
twitching, and on the edge of bursting.

“Do you feel better?” you ask, lips swollen and slick with spit, but despite that, you’re still
grinning at him devilishly.

“Almost.”

He pulls you up onto the bed with him, rolling until you’re pinned beneath him as his hands
make quick work of shoving your underwear to the side, allowing his fingers to brush against
your opening. Shit, you’re so wet for him, just from sucking him off.

“God, you’re so fucking wet,” he groans, verbalizing his thought as his mouth drags against
the skin on your neck. “Got all worked up with your lips wrapped around me, huh?”
You writhe and gasp beneath him as he pushes two fingers into your tight cunt and curls them
inside you. He wants to show you how much he appreciates you, how much he cares about
you, how much he loves you.

So he rubs the soft, spongey wall of your pussy to the sound of you panting out his name in
approval. Jean can’t control his shuddering moan against your skin, cock throbbing between
his legs. Yes, again — again.

“Can’t wait,” you whisper as his thumb swirls across your clit. “Need you, right now. Jean,
fuck me.”

You reach down between your bodies, gripping him firmly and he loses some of his cool.
Teeth digging into the skin on your neck as his hips buck into your hand. You’re needy for
him — so needy — is this what you’re like with Eren, too? Jean cringes at the thought.

Jean hates that he can’t have a single moment of peace with you without thinking about Eren.
Without thinking about how you’ve probably been breathless and desperate for Eren like this.
You’ve probably been on your knees with your lips wrapped around Eren’s dick. You’ve
probably let Eren cum in your mouth.

That's why he was so fucking mad at dinner. He saw the way Eren's eyes combed your body
the second you walked into the room, with a familiarity and intimacy that Jean had never
seen before.

You looked good at dinner. Between your tight little dress and the colour on your lips, you
already had Jean in a daze. But then after he made you cum, you just had this glow on your
face. Jean was proud of himself for somehow making you look even more beautiful than you
already are — and then Eren just had to go ahead and ruin it by eyefucking you across the
table. Acting like you were flushed and breathless just for him, like you had gotten yourself
off before dinner just to tease him.

Jean wonders who you were thinking about when you were grinding against his thigh. Was it
Jean or...?

Annoyed at his intrusive thoughts, he pulls his fingers from you and stands by the side of the
bed. He drags your body to the edge by your thighs before reaching into his bedside drawer,
pulling out a small bottle of lube, and squirting it into his palm as he steps out of his pants.
He pumps his fist along his cock, coating himself in the liquid as he watches you squirm out
of your underwear and spread yourself open for him, not even bothering to take off your
dress.

When he returns to your side, he pushes your dress up your stomach so he can lay his full
length on your body. With his fingers already slippery from lube, he stuffs three of them
inside of you, stretching you and coating you in the slick as he admires how small you look
next to his throbbing cock.

“Look at that,” his eyes are glazed over in lust as he slaps his cock down on your stomach.
“Look how deep I’ll be.” The sight makes him dizzy with arousal.
Removing his digits from inside of you, he grabs your hips, flipping you over onto your
stomach. He holds your shoulders down with one hand while he angles your hips with the
other, making you into a perfect arch for him as he tilts his hips back until just the head of his
cock is brushing against your entrance. Jean collects your wetness on his head and uses his
hand to spread it across his already-slick length.

He knows he’s being rough, but this is what you want, isn’t it? He wants to hold you tight in
his arms and make love to you, but he’s so drunk and angry and if you wanna get fucked then
that’s what he’ll do.

“Tell me if it hurts,” he murmurs quietly before he pushes his head against your needy
entrance. “Tell me if you need me to slow down.”

He gasps as he pushes into you and your body stretches around him, all thoughts leaving his
head in a flurry. He nudges himself deeper and deeper against your tight walls, eyes fixed on
where your bodies meet, watching his cock disappear inside of you.

Oh, fuck, you’re so tight. He can’t take his eyes off of your slick pussy as you swallow his
full length, inch by inch until his hips are pressed firmly against your ass. “Shit, look at that,”
he groans, making slow, shallow thrusts into your body. God, you don’t even flinch when he
stuffs you like this.

Jean starts breathing heavier as he thrusts into you harder and faster. “Fuck, you feel so
good,” he groans, a little louder than he means to. “So fucking good,” he repeats as his hips
start to slam against you, watching your ass jiggle from the recoil.

You have to hold a hand over your mouth to smother your cries as Jean’s hips snap against
you. He isn’t holding back anymore, thrusting himself completely in and out of your body
like an animal in heat. He wraps his hand around your dress, bunched up around your waist,
and uses it for leverage to pull you back against his hips with every thrust forward.

“Shit, this pussy’s so fucking creamy for me,” he groans, watching you coat the base of his
cock in your foamy white slick.

The room fills with the sound of skin slapping against skin, Jean’s soft groaning, and lewd
wet noises as his cock thrusts into your pussy. If your roommates were sleeping, they
definitely aren’t anymore, as Jean pounds his hips against your ass with reckless abandon.
The bed creaks under the weight of your bodies and the headboard slams against the wall
with each thrust, accompanied by your muffled moaning.

His eyes are still fixed on his own cock as he pants above you, small beads of sweat rolling
between his pecs and disappearing under his shirt. With his free hand, he grabs the bottom
hem of his shirt to bring it up to his mouth, biting it to hold it out of the way so he can fully
appreciate the sight in front of him.

He groans through clenched teeth, grabbing you hard as you cry out beneath him. It doesn’t
take long for Jean to lose himself of the feeling of his cock inside of you. You’re squeezing
him so good and keep saying his name just the way he likes. Gasping and whining and
writhing beneath him, begging for his cock, begging to be filled by him — by Jean, only
Jean.

Jean takes out all of his anger from this evening into fucking you — fucking you like he has
something to prove — stepping one foot onto the mattress for added leverage as his hips
pound against your ass and push you hard into the bed. Jean’s moans grow louder and louder
as you tighten around his length, and he groans as your cunt spasms around him, squeezing
around his cock as you cum. You shudder beneath him, wave after wave of pleasure washing
over you from the constant stimulation of his cock pushing against your walls and Jean has to
grip your hips with both hands to keep you from squirming as he fucks you.

“Stop running away,” he grunts, reaching forward to grab a fistful of your hair. He pulls you
up off the bed until your back is pressed against his chest. Dropping his shirt from his mouth,
he sinks his teeth into the skin of your shoulder instead, littering you with bites and hickeys
as he fucks against your hips. Your body squeezes hard around him in response, hands
reaching back to grip any part of him you can, digging your nails into his skin.

He shudders against you, burying his face into your neck as he feels his gut tightening.
“Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” he pants, gripping your body hard as he thrusts his hips against you.
Your ass slaps against his hips with every feverish movement, one of his hands still clutching
the hair against your skull while the other slides up your body to grab a handful of your
breasts.

For Jean, it’s too much — far too much — so he jerks his hips backward, removing his cock
from inside of you and then thrusting forward against the curve of your ass. He throws his
head back over his shoulders and clenches his eyes shut, cock twitching against your ass as
he shoots ropes of cum up your back. Jean moans loudly, legs trembling from the intensity of
his orgasm and the way your roll your hips against him.

Shaking, he squeezes you against him, delirious from his orgasm and the alcohol and you feel
so fucking good and warm against him. He grabs your face roughly, tilting your head to the
side to meet you in a messy kiss, tongues and teeth bumping into each other in a drunken
frenzy.

***

Jean spent every free moment during the game looking for his girlfriend in the crowd. Even
after making out a few hours earlier, he still couldn’t get enough of her. The end of the game
couldn’t come soon enough, but with no goals yet, he was starting to worry that it was going
to get pushed into overtime.

Sure, she was just another girl in a string of short, failed relationships over the past few years
— but Jean had a good feeling about this one. The only thing keeping him away from her
tonight was this fucking hockey game running into overtime.

Jean skated over to the benches to find Eren squirting some water in his mouth and winking
at some cute girls in the crowd. He was really making a show of it — spilling the water down
his chin and throat, flicking his tongue lewdly into the spray of the water — Jean rolled his
eyes in disgust.
“Eren, get it together, man. Can you shoot a goal for once?” he asked, knocking the bottle out
of Eren’s gloved hands.

“Hey, chill,” Eren said with a frown, wiping the mess off his face with his glove. “That lil
fucker Galliard has been on my ass the whole game. If you can get rid of him, I should be
able to get some shots in.” Eren jabbed a finger at the rink, eyes narrowing as they fixed on
the cause of his frustration.

Jean turned around to look out on the ice, seeing Porco already looking at him. “Yeah, I can
do that. I’ve got a date tonight so I don’t want to stay too late on the ice.”

“Aw, cute,” Eren said, making kissy faces up at Jean. “Our little Jean-boy is in love again,”
he sang.

Jean didn’t even blush from Eren’s teasing. Yeah, he was in love, what of it?

“Just try and find openings when you can. I’ll handle the puck and pass to you when you’ve
got a clear shot.”

“Ay ay, captain,” Eren said, saluting Jean before pulling his helmet back onto his head.

Jean always prided himself on his leadership skills and he was excited when he was given the
honour of being named captain of the Scouts. To date, he was the youngest person ever
chosen as captain and he always did his best to help his team secure victory. He may not have
been the best player on the ice (begrudgingly, that honour went to Eren), but he had a keen
mind and could always come up with a successful strategy. Today would be no different.

Jean was skating down the rink with the puck, his eyes trained on Eren. Eren had successfully
managed to shake off Porco and had an opening to shoot a goal. Bertolt was a good goalie
with his long arms and legs, but Eren was a better shot. Now was the time to make the pass.

But before Jean was able to, Porco flew out of nowhere and pushed Jean hard into the
boards.

“What the fuck?” Jean yelled as he rebounded off the boards, skating around Porco in a loop.

“Oops, I’m so fuckin’ sorry, Kirstein,” he said, bowing. “Didn’t mean to knock you over.”

Jean looked down at him, annoyed. “Yeah, whatever man, just keep it clean.”

Porco moved forward toward Jean with a smug little smirk on his face. “That’s not what your
girl said last night. She likes it when I’m fuckin’ nasty.”

He skated away before Jean could even process what he said to him.

What was that supposed to mean? Whatever, it didn’t matter. It was probably just some tactic
to get in his head. But he noticed the way that Porco waved at Pieck when he skated past her
seat and he felt a sinking feeling in his chest.

Jean didn’t want to let his insecurities ruin a good day, so he tried his best to forget about it.
After that incident, it was like the energy between the two teams shifted. Everyone was
playing more roughly and people were getting tripped and pushed into the boards. But there
were still no fucking points for either team.

Jean was getting angry. They were in the final minutes of the third and final period and Floch
had gotten himself a penalty, giving the Warriors a power play and putting the Scouts at a
disadvantage. Jean and Coach Levi even decided to pull the goalie so they could have another
player to push for a goal.

Eren was getting swarmed by defensemen so Jean decided to take matters into his own hands.
Jean already had the puck, so all he had to do was get it past Bertolt and into the net — easy
enough.

He should have been keeping his eye out for Porco. That little squirt had been intentionally
charging into Jean at every opportunity — he should have been looking. It was stupid of Jean
not to be paying attention.

But when Porco flew out at him at full speed, knocking them both against the boards, Jean
couldn’t hold back his anger any longer.

“What’s your problem, man?” he yelled, pulling off his helmet angrily as the crowd went
wild.

Porco took his helmet off too and Jean could see that he still had that stupid smug smirk on
his face, sweaty strands of his golden hair falling into his face. “No problem here, man. I just
thought you might need some tips.”

“Tips on what?” Jean asked, exasperated.

“Your girl came over to my place the other night,” he said, gesturing towards where Pieck
was sitting in the crowd. “Said something about you not fuckin’ her good.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Jean said, face burning hot.

“But don’t worry, I took real good care of her,” Porco said, miming a jerking-off motion with
his gloved hand.

Jean moved closer to Porco, close enough that their chest pads were bumping into one
another as they spoke. “What the fuck did you just say to me?”

“If you see her tonight, let her know I’ve been thinking about her,” Porco said. “Your bitch
makes the cutest fuckin’ noises when she’s cumming on my tongue.” At this, he stuck a soft
tongue out at Jean and licked the air between them.

Jean didn’t hesitate to rip off his gloves to grab the front of Porco’s jersey and pulled him
even closer into him. “Don’t you ever fucking talk about her like that!” he yelled, voice
almost drowned out by the sound of the crowd losing their absolute minds.

Porco threw down his gloves to grab at Jean’s wrists, struggling to push Jean off him.
“What’s wrong, Kirstein? Mad your little slut likes to ride my cock better than yours?”
“Mind your fucking manners, you piece of shit!”

Before things could come to blows, Reiner and one of the referees swept in and pulled the
two off of each other.

“Chill out, man,” Reiner said, arms hooked under Jean’s to pull him away. “He’s not worth it.
Don’t let him get to you.”

“Did you hear what he fucking said?” Jean spat, but he let Reiner drag him to the penalty box
alongside Porco, the little pipsqueak making lewd high-pitched moaning noises the whole
way.

Jean was practically shaking in anger. How dare Porco disrespect Pieck like that. How dare
he insinuate that he was anything more to her than some annoying guy she met at a party.
How fucking dare he make it sound like Jean wasn’t good enough for her.

He looked up at Pieck for reassurance and instantly felt his blood run cold.

No.

He could see the guilt on her face from across the rink.

Porco wasn’t lying. He wasn’t saying that shit just to throw Jean off his game. He was saying
it because it was true.

***

Jean breathes heavily against your neck, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist as his
softening cock twitches against you. He wants to stay like this forever, but he can feel how
shallow your breaths are from how tightly he’s squeezing you, so he lets go.

“I’ll go grab a cloth,” he says quietly, helping you pull your dress up over your head. Even
from just a quick glance, he can see the blotches of white on the material and he feels bad for
probably ruining it — just another thing to add to the fucking list of things Jean's ruined.

You nod quietly in response, twisting to wrap your arms around Jean’s neck to press your lips
against his. Jean holds you close against his body, breathing you in as his tongue teases yours.

“I wasn’t too rough, was I?” he murmurs, pulling away to wipe the sweat off of your
forehead. He frowns at the way your lipstick is smeared across your mouth and licks his
thumb to clean it off.

“No, it was really good,” you assure him with a satisfied sigh. You run your hands through
the hair on the back of his head as he cleans off your face, Jean’s brows scrunched in
concentration as he looks down at you.

“Sorry, about everything,” he sighs, finally cleaning off the last of your lipstick before
pressing his lips against the corner of your mouth. “Thanks for taking care of me.”

“Of course,” you hum, squeezing him close. “We can talk about it tomorrow.”
He nods solemnly, pulling away to help guide you into bed. He looks down at you for a
moment, laying on your stomach in the soft moonlight from the open window, body
glistening from a thin layer of sweat as you try to catch your breath. How can you be so calm
after everything that happened?

Jean tugs off his shirt, soaked in sweat and drool, before heading out of his room and to the
bathroom in just his underwear. When he gets to the bathroom, he flicks on the light and
looks at himself for the first time this evening.

You were right — he has a nasty bruise on his face from where Eren hit him. His lip is split
and swollen and his jaw has a dull ache from where he remembers Eren punching him. Eren’s
rings even caused a few cuts on his cheek that, thankfully, aren’t bleeding too bad.

Right. Jean is starting to remember, now. Porco was being an asshole at dinner and then Eren
was trying to play white knight by pulling Jean away. Jean was never going to hurt Porco. He
was drunk, sure, but he was just angry seeing him again after all these years — especially
after he found out that Porco and Pieck were dating. What a fucking piss-off.

And then Eren was fucking all over you. Acting like you and him were best friends and like
he was looking out for you — and you were letting him. Letting him touch you, whisper in
your ear, stare at your tits.

You were the one that asked to put a label on things, and yet there you were — blatantly
disrespecting your relationship with Jean. Can’t you see how much you’re hurting him?
Every time you run off with Eren, Jean just has to bite his tongue and fucking bare it.

Maybe you’re still sleeping with Eren, too — he wouldn’t be surprised by the way you act
around him. And what’s Jean supposed to do? Is he just supposed to pretend like it isn’t
happening? Is he supposed to act like this is fucking normal? Just because of how badly he
wants to be with you?

Jean splashes some cold water onto his face to help sober up — his thoughts are still a
jumbled mess and he keeps bouncing between being angry at Eren, you, and himself. He
grabs a cloth and soaks it in warm water, wringing it out in the sink before he heads back to
clean you off. As he’s walking back down the hall to his bedroom, he hears a faint buzzing.
Curious, he follows the sounds back to the entryway where he finds the buzzing sound
coming from your purse — you must have left your phone there.

Jean digs into your purse to grab your phone and almost recoils as he looks down to see a
photo of you and Eren, standing together with his arm around your shoulders. The way
Eren’s holding you looks so intimate — so familiar — it makes Jean’s stomach twist in his
gut. In the photo, Eren grins boyishly at the camera as you look up at him with a pout, and
even just from this single frame, Jean can tell that Eren was teasing you about something. He
scowls down at the picture as he watches Eren’s name and face flash on the screen before
your phone returns to its regular background of the Core Four on Halloween.

You have five missed calls and several unread text messages from Eren.
He looks over his shoulder cautiously, like someone might be standing behind him, before
turning back to your phone and flicking it open. Jean unlocks your phone easily — your code
is your birthday, he's known that for years. He knows this isn’t right, but his curiosity is being
irrationally fueled by alcohol and he needs to know what Eren’s messaging you about.

Jean knows it’s wrong to snoop through your phone like this, but he can’t help himself — he
has to. His insecurities and his relationship anxieties are rearing their ugly head in his
drunken haze and he needs to make sure that there’s absolutely nothing going on between
you and Eren.

Seeing Porco with his smug fucking grin and his hand around Pieck’s shoulder on one end of
the table while Eren was whispering in your ear with his hand on your thigh on the other end
made him go completely insane.

Jean had already made peace with his failed relationship with Pieck, but he's disgusted by the
thought that Pieck is still dating that piece of shit. That Pieck chose him over Jean. Doesn’t
she realize how disgusting he is?

Can’t you see how disgusting Eren is?

You said you didn’t have feelings for Eren and Jean wants to believe you… but then why do
you keep hanging out with him? Why is Eren fucking Jaeger calling you at one in the
morning? Weren’t the things Jean told you about him enough to scare you away?

He’s just going to take a quick look at the messages. He’s just going to read through a few of
them and then come back to the room with your towel. You won’t even know he did
anything.

But when Jean opens up your messages with Eren, his blood runs cold.

***

Of course, she didn’t like him. Of course, she was sleeping with other guys. He was stupid
for assuming that a girl like Pieck would ever be happy with just him — just Jean. He was
pathetic. This happened every time he fell in love with someone, he shouldn’t have been
surprised that it happened again.

Jean knew coming to this party would be a bad idea. The last thing he wanted to do was be
around the fucking Warriors after he just spent an hour crying in his car, but Eren had
convinced him that this would be good for him.

Good for him, right. Like some meaningless hookup was supposed to make him feel less
empty inside. As if Jean could even pretend to be flirty with some stranger when Eren was
practically panting like a dog while he eyefucked you on the couches.

Jean’s emotions were too muddled to unpack why he felt so angry about that.

“Annie, come on, let me go,” Jean whined, trying to gently push her away from him, but she
was surprisingly strong.
“Where’s Peick?” she snapped and there was a small hint of concern behind her bite that
made Jean pause.

“I dropped her off at home,” he explained, eyes narrowing as he looked down at her. “Why?
Is something wrong?”

Annie swore quietly under her breath, eyes darting around the party. “Is Porco here?”

“I don’t know, I just got here.”

“Yeah, he came in earlier with the other Warriors,” Armin said and Annie’s attention snapped
to him.

“Pieck wasn’t with him either?”

“No, I don’t think so, Annie,” Armin said with a shrug. “Is everything ok?”

“Shit,” she hissed, taking a step back away from the two boys. “Was she really upset?”

Jean shrugged, “I guess.”

Annie spun around and started to walk away but Jean reached forward, grabbing her by the
crook of her elbow and holding her in place. “Is everything ok?” he asked, brows furrowing
in concern.

“If she’s not with you and she’s not with Porco, there’s only one other person she could be
with right now,” Annie explained and she looked… scared.

“Who?” Jean pressed.

“Jaeger,” she spat.

“Jaeger?” Jean repeated with a deep frown, but before he could ask any more questions,
Annie tugged her arm free from his grip and stormed through the crowd.

Hearing you laughing drew Jean’s attention back to Eren with you on the couch and he felt
his blood boiling. Before Jean could charge over to him, Armin linked his arm with Jean’s
and pulled him away, deeper into the party. “Jean, come on, let’s have fun.”

“Armin,” Jean hissed, half-heartedly tugging as he let Armin weave him through the crowd.
“I need to go get Eren off of her.”

“Eren’s just trying to make you mad. You already told him she was off limits — Eren will
respect that,” Armin said looking back over his shoulder.

Jean huffed in annoyance, but Armin was right. Jean just had to let Eren talk to you a little bit
and get it out of his system. Jean knew you would never sleep with Eren, so he didn’t have
anything to worry about. He just felt a little protective of you sometimes — that was normal
between friends, right?
“Yeah, ok,” Jean conceded, letting Armin pull him up to an active game of Flip Cup.

“There he is!” Floch cheered, face flushed from alcohol. “Captain Kirstein, the man of the
hour!” Jean laughed and let Floch clap him on the back, shaking him gently. “Can’t believe
we won again! On Warrior turf, too — can you believe it?”

“Fuckin’ rights we did,” Jean grinned, letting Floch push a red solo cup into his hands.

“Drink up, dude, we’ve got a long night ahead,” Floch said as he helped guide the cup up to
Jean’s lips, tilting it up until the liquid was pouring into his mouth. “The bitches here in
Marley are fucking hot. After fucking the Warriors on the ice, now we’re going to fuck their
sluts.”

Jean choked around his beer, pulling away to bring the cup down from his lips and wiping the
mess from his chin. “Jesus, Forster, what did I tell you about saying shit like that, what the
fuck?”

As Floch continued on about stealing Marley women from the Warriors, Jean made eye
contact with Armin across the table. Armin rolled his eyes and shook his head, causing Jean
to snicker in amusement.

“That’s the spirit!” Floch cheered, clapping Jean on the back again. Jean’s eyes darted back
over to Floch and he worried nervously about what he might’ve just agreed to. “Survivor Flip
Cup, Scouts versus Warriors, let’s go!”

Jean allowed Floch to push him into position, lining up along the side of the table until there
were five Scouts on one side of the table. Across from them stood five Warriors: Bertolt,
Reiner, and a few others that Jean didn’t recognize.

“Rules of the game are,” Floch pointed to the far end of the table where Daz stood across
from Bertolt. “After the song, cheers your drinks, tap the table, and then slam it back. Once
your cup is empty, you have to successfully flip it upside down off the edge of the table
before we move on to the next player,” Floch pointed to Samuel standing across from a
blonde Warrior. “We keep going until we make it to the end, the last team to finish loses a
player for round two, but the team still has to flip five cups until every player is eliminated.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Reiner scoffed waving his hand in dismissal. “We know how to play,
let’s just get to it.”

All the boys began to clap as they started off the opening chant, “Olaaaay, olay, olay, olay.
Olay, olay, flip cup!”

Jean bent over until he was closer to the table, hand ghosting around his cup as he watched
Daz slam back his drink, alcohol dripping down the sides of his mouth. “Come on, man!” he
cheered as Daz lined up his cup, flicking it with his fingers until it hopped off the table and
then landed on its side.

“Nice try, bro! Nice try!” Floch said, clapping as Daz scrambled to set up his cup for another
flick.
Jean’s eyes darted over to the other end of the table just in time to watch Bertolt’s cup land
upside down on the table. The Warriors jumped up with glee as the blonde Warrior slammed
back his drink to repeat the process.

“Come on, Daz, you got this,” Jean groaned, watching as he continued to struggle. The
Warriors cheered again, watching as Reiner started drinking. “You got this.”

Jean frowned as he watched Reiner successfully flip his cup, then grimaced as he watched the
last two remaining Warriors finish and flip their drinks before Daz managed to land his cup
properly.

The Warriors burst out into cheers as the Scouts huddled up to discuss strategy.

“Obviously, Daz is out,” Floch said with a scoff and he nodded understandingly. “Who wants
to do two cups?”

“I can,” Jean volunteered. “I’m pretty good at Flip Cup.”

The other boys nodded before they returned to their spots on the table and this time, Jean
stood with two cups in front of him.

The group repeated the opening chant and this time they started the game from the opposite
end of the table. Floch cheered with the Warrior, tapped his cup on the table, and then
slammed it back. Jean watched excitedly as Floch flipped his drink successfully on the first
try — then it was Jean’s turn.

He grabbed the cup tightly, lifting it up to his mouth and swallowing back the alcohol in one
big gulp. He balanced it on the edge of the table, flicked his fingers softly, and watched as the
cup landed smoothly upside down.

“Atta boy!” Floch cheered, clapping excitedly as Jean repeated the process with his second
drink.

This time, the cup got held up with Marlowe, and the Scouts were forced to huddle again.

“Marlowe, sorry bud,” Jean said apologetically, sucking in a sharp breath through clenched
teeth. “You’re holding us back.”

“Yeah, I get it,” he said, waving his hand in dismissal as he left the group to go stand with
Armin and Daz.

Floch volunteered to take the second cup, meaning that Jean and Floch both had to drink and
flip two cups while Samuel just had to do one. They were at a clear disadvantage to the other
team, who still had all five players, but they were still in high spirits.

Starting back at Bertolt’s end of the table, they finished the chant and Samuel slammed back
his drink. Jean could feel the flush of alcohol in his cheeks as he cheered him on, jumping up
and down excitedly as Samuel managed to flip his cup before Bertolt could.
Jean started on his first cup, flipping it easily on the first try, and then doing it again with his
second cup.

It took Floch two flips to get his first cup which was unfortunate because it allowed the
Warriors to pass him. Floch was just swallowing the last of his second cup when the Warriors
flipped their final cup successfully and broke out into uproarious cheers.

“Fuck,” Floch hissed, throwing his cup down on the table. “We had them, we fucking had
them.”

“It’s fine,” Jean said, waving away Samuel as he turned fully to face Floch. “It’s just you and
me. We got this.”

“We got this,” Floch repeated, lifting up two of his fists to chest height before gently fist-
bumping Jean. “And after this maybe we can go tag-team some dumb Marley bitch.”

“Floch, stop saying shit like that,” Jean groaned, twisting back to face the table as he set up
his cups — three, now.

“You idiots should just give up now,” scoffed one of the Marley boys from the other side of
the table. Jean looked at him with narrowed eyes, some small ginger kid with round glasses.
He didn’t recognize him from the ice, and based on his stature, Jean doubted the kid did
much more than bench-warming during the season.

“Shut your mouth or I’ll do it for you,” Floch hissed, pressing his palms on the table and
leaning across to sneer in the boy’s face.

Jean frowned, clasping his hand on Floch's shoulder and pulling him back. “Chill out, it’s
fine. We don’t need to prove anything to this runt.”

The boy snorted and rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest dramatically. “Just
because you get everything handed to you, doesn’t mean you’re gonna win this one.”

“What are you talking about?” Jean asked, shaking his head in confusion. “Who are you?”

“I’m Carlo,” he said proudly, adjusting his glasses on his face. “Carlo Panzer. My dad works
with your dad.”

“Ok?” Jean said, still confused. He looked over at the other Warriors, they were taking their
time getting set up for the next round.

“My dad told me all about you, Jean Kirstein,” he said, smirking across the table.

“Ok?” Jean said, making a face. “What are you getting at?”

“Captain Jean Kirstein,” Carlo snorted, dramatically rolling his eyes. “Does it count as being
Captain if your dad paid to get you on the team?”

Jean stilled, his whole body going cold. “What did you just say to me?”
“My dad told me that your dad made a hefty donation to secure a spot for you on the Scouts,”
Carlo sneered as he mimed the act of rubbing coins together between his fingers. “And he
threw in a little extra to get you named Captain.”

“That’s not true,” Jean said, at the same time as Floch interjected.

“Shut your fucking mouth, you piece of shit.” Floch slammed his hands down on the table
again, startling the other players and spectators. “You lost today, remember? How dare you
talk shit when you don’t even have a fucking leg to stand on.”

Carlo grinned smugly before leaning forward across the table, preparing to further goad
Floch and Jean, but then Bertolt jerked him back. “That’s enough, guys, come on. It’s just a
game.”

Jean’s gaze flicked from Carlo up to Bertolt. “Yeah, come on,” he agreed, but he felt hollow
inside.

That wasn’t true… was it? Jean knew his dad made donations to Paradis University, but that
wouldn't have affected anything with Jean, would it?

This time, the Scouts finally won a round of Flip Cup. Jean and Floch cheered in excitement,
pulling each other in for a crushing hug as they watched the Warriors kick out one of their
players.

“One down, four to go!” Floch yelled as the Warriors grumbled on the other side of the table.

“Chill out, you guys aren’t winning this,” Reiner said with a scoff as he prepped a second
cup.

Jean just ignored his comment, feeling the buzz of alcohol in his fingertips, and raised his cup
and began the opening chant.

Again, the Scouts won after both Jean and Floch were able to flip each of their cups on the
first try. The Warriors groaned in defeat as they kicked out another player, bringing it down to
two versus three.

Jean excitedly elbowed Floch in the side as the two boys set up their drinks for another
round. “We got this,” he whispered, cheeks hurting from how hard he was grinning.

“Easy peasy,” Floch responded, clicking his tongue and giving Jean another fist-bump.

Unfortunately, their cockiness got the best of them and the Scouts ended up losing the next
round and Floch bowed out.

“You’ve got this man,” Floch said, squeezing Jean’s shoulders as Jean hunched over to fill
five cups with alcohol. “Captain Kirstein, you’re the fuckin’ man.”

“I’m the fuckin’ man,” Jean repeated in a soft whisper. His eyes darted up to meet Carlo, who
had been kicked from the team this round, and he still had that smug fucking look on his face
that was making Jean’s blood boil. All the drinks from the game were starting to hit him hard,
but he just needed to win three more rounds — he could do it, probably.

The crowd behind Jean started to chant out his name with increasing intensity as he finished
and flipped cup after cup. He landed each on the first flip, smiling around mouthfuls of beer
as he slammed back another cup before lining up for his final flip.

Everyone went nuts when he landed his fifth cup. Daz and Floch jumped on his back and
shook him in excitement as Jean raised his arms in the air with a loud cheer. The Warriors
were beginning to lose morale as Jean crushed them.

Jean let Floch push him aside to fill up his cups and he ran both hands through his hair,
sighing deeply to relax from the nerves of the game. As he looked up, he caught eyes with
you at the couches, you were looking past Eren at him and Jean couldn’t help but grin widely
over at you and wink.

You smiled back at him before darting your eyes back to Eren, saying something to him, and
then taking a drink. Jean’s eyes narrowed at the interaction — you and Eren were sitting
really close to one another. Fucking Jaeger. Jean’s jaw clenched in irritation as he watched
the two of you together.

“Here you go, man,” Floch said, snapping Jean’s attention back to the game of Flip Cup.

“Thanks, Floch,” Jean said, clapping him on the back and returning to his spot in front of the
first cup. He looked up briefly back at you on the couches, but your attention was back on
your card game. He wished that you were here cheering him on, too.

Jean won again, causing another burst of cheers from behind him as the Warriors were
knocked down to their last player.

“I’m surprised you stuck around for so long,” Jean goaded, but he was slurring around every
word and Bertolt just looked at him with a cocked brow.

“Get some water after this, Jean,” he said with a look of concern.

Sweat was dripping down the side of Jean's face as he slammed back his first drink, hands
trembling from a mixture of nerves and alcohol as he lined the cup up for his first flick —
landing perfectly upside down.

Jean tried to steady his breathing as he drank his second drink, trying not to pay attention to
Bertolt across the table as he lined it up — landed again.

He could hardly hear anything else but the steady chanting of his name behind him as he
drank his third drink, lining it up and… perfect!

He was grinning around his fourth cup as he heard Floch’s distinctive voice screaming and
cheering behind him, he lined it up — flick! — and it landed perfectly!

On Jean’s fifth and final drink, he took a second to glance up at Bertolt — he was still
working on his fourth so Jean had a bit of time. He glanced through the crowd over at you
and Eren on the couches, eyes narrowing as he watched Eren squeeze your thigh.

Jean didn’t like the way Eren was touching you. He didn’t like the way Eren was looking at
you. But he watched with pointed interest as Eren sat up from the couches and made his way
over to the kitchen.

Jean flicked his fingers against the cup and it flipped in the air, spinning beautifully until it
landed upside-down on the table. The Scouts behind Jean lost their absolute fucking minds as
they started screaming and jumping and grabbing at Jean, but Jean squeezed out of their grip
and stumbled into the kitchen.

“Yo, Eren,” he called, leaning against the kitchen counter as he looked down at Eren, who
was crouched down on the ground and rummaging through the cupboards.

“Come piss off the deck with me.”

***

im really sorry about the way i acted

i was stupid and immature
i shouldn't have fought w jean
i'm sorry
i just want to make sure ur ok
tonight was scary
i'm sorry i freaked u out
i could've done things better
i know things were hectic
so i don't blame u for leaving
but i really wanna talk
i love you so fucking much
and i just wanna be with you
i know this is fuckin petty but
jeans not good for you
he's not there for you
he just makes things worse.
please just call me back
we don't need to talk about it rn
i just wanna know ur ok

What the fuck is this?

Jean can feel his breathing grow shallow and his body heat in anger as he reads through each
message.

He swallows thickly, still looking down at Eren’s messages on your phone as he runs a shaky
hand through his sweaty hair. Before he can even second-guess himself, he starts clicking on
Eren’s messages one by one until they’re all highlighted up to your last conversation.

And then he deletes them.

Fuck.

Jean is bad at relationships — he always has been. It's always been hard for him to be
vulnerable in front of other people because he's so scared that once they peel back the layers,
they're going to be disgusted by what they find.

He wanted things to be different with you. He wanted you to peel back his layers, one at a
time. He wanted you to see the dirty parts of his past and still choose to be with him. He
wanted to be able to look back at the person he once was and say, "I don't recognize that man
anymore."

But then all of his layers fell down at once: his strained family relationships, his history of
violence, his manipulation, his deceit, his corruption — and in the black mirror of your phone
screen in his hand, he realizes that he's still the man he's been trying to distance himself from
— he's just gotten better at fooling himself.

***

“Jean…” Eren started, looking over at Jean, dick in hand. “Do you have feelings for that
girl?” Eren jerked his head back toward the party.

“Yeah, I really like her,” Jean blurted out, not even thinking.

Hearing himself say it out loud felt like a punch to the gut. He liked you, he liked you —
fuck, he really liked you.

Of course, he did, he didn’t do a good job of hiding it. Even though he was supposed to be
dating and in love with another girl, he found himself wanting to be with you all the time. He
felt like shit. How could he be mad at Pieck for hooking up with another guy when he had
feelings for another girl?

“Shit,” Eren whistled, tucking himself back into his pants. “Ok, shit man. I’ll back off, for
real.” When Jean looked over at Eren, his eyebrows were pitched up into his forehead, face
twisted in guilt. “She’s all yours.”

“It’s ok,” Jean said with a shrug, doing up his pants and leaning back against the railing. He
looked through the glass patio doors into the party, hoping to catch a glimpse of you, but
there were too many people. “I… I don’t know.”

“What do you mean?” Eren asked, mimicking his pose

“She’s so cool and fun and smart,” Jean started, feeling his heart thump harder in his chest as
he thought about you. “She gets along with all of us so well… I’m just worried I’m going to
fuck things up if I go for her.”

“You’ll never know if you don’t try,” Eren offered with a shrug.

“I just don’t want to hurt her,” Jean said with a shrug. “You know how all the shit is with my
dad… I’m just worried I’m going to treat her like how he treats my mom.”
"What's the difference between her and that other bitch you were dating?"

"Easy," Jean warned, eyes narrowing down at Eren. "I told you not to talk like that."

Eren raised his hands in surrender. "Fine. What's the difference between her and that lovely
young lady you were dating?"

Jean rolled his eyes. "She's my friend. She's not just some random girl I think is hot at a party.
She's part of the group and I like having her around... if I fuck things up with her, she's not
gonna wanna hang out with us anymore."

“You’ve always got an excuse for everything, huh?”

Jean frowned, looking over at Eren. “What?”

“Things didn’t work out with the last girl because she cheated on you,” Eren said, making air
quotes with his fingers. “Even though you never even established any sort of boundary in
your relationship.”

Jean opened his mouth to protest, but Eren continued.

“Now, you don’t wanna date this girl because of... this bullshit?” Eren rolled his eyes.
“You’re acting like you’re just a passive participant and life is happening around you… Just
fucking try for once!”

“Shut the fuck up,” Jean groaned, rolling his eyes and tossing his head back over his
shoulders. “You have no clue what you're talking about.”

“You just don't wanna hear it,” Eren countered, and Jean could see that he was looking at him
from the corner of his eye. “Why are you always giving up? Jean, you're not the asshole that
you think you are,” Eren said, frowning, and Jean felt for the first time in their decade-long
friendship that Eren didn't understand him. “You’re always sabotaging yourself because
you’re so fucking insecure.”

“How could I not be insecure?” Jean challenged, shifting to face Eren fully. “Every girl I’ve
ever dated has fucking dumped me for some other asshole and every time I think I’ve
accomplished something, I find out it’s because my fucking dad has his fingers in shit.”

Jean raised a hand and started counting off on his fingers. “The only reason I didn’t get
fucking expelled for all the shit I did in high school was because he was friends with the
principal. The only reason I got accepted into Paradis was because he donates money to the
school. The only reason I fucking became captain of the Scouts was because of him. I haven’t
accomplished shit — I don’t deserve anything.”

“That’s not true,” Eren said, rolling his tongue against his cheek. “Connie got accepted in
Paradis — I don't think your dad's donations tipped the scales on your acceptance.”

Jean ran a nervous hand through his hair, pushing the loose strands back out of his face. “I
just don’t want things to get fucked up,” he sighed finally. “Ok? So, it doesn't matter. I like
being her friend.”
“You’re so scared about something that might not even happen that you’re just gonna let
yourself be miserable?”

“I'm not miserable,” Jean said, sending Eren a pointed look of finality.

“Yeah, ok,” Eren clicked his tongue, looking back through the glass patio door into the party.
“I guess that means she’s up for grabs then, huh?”

Eren was just trying to get a rise out of him, Jean knew that, but his words felt like a sucker
punch straight to his gut after what happened tonight with Pieck and Porco. “Don’t you dare
fuckin’ touch her, dude. I already told you.”

“Oh, come on,” Eren continued, rolling his tongue against his cheek as he looked over at
Jean, eyes alight with mischief. “You should’ve seen her on the couch earlier when we were
playing that little game. I had her fuckin’ blushing and squirming in her seat, I bet her little
panties are soaked.”

Jean knew he was joking but the thought of you riding the dick of a conceited asshole like
Eren was twisting the knife in Jean’s gut after the events of this evening. Looking over at
Eren through his drunken haze, he just saw Porco Galliard, instead.

“You’re disgusting,” Jean groaned, pressing his lips into a tight, thin line.

“Look, if you’re not going to go for her, I’ll take real good care of her.”

Jean snapped. He reached his hand out to twist around the fabric of Eren’s shirt, pushing him
back hard against the railing before he could even take a step forward. Jean shifted until he
was standing in front of him, looming over Eren with his lip curled in anger.

"Hey, lay off," Eren said sternly, shoving Jean's hand off of him. "Take a breath."

"I'm fine," Jean hissed and Eren waved his hand in dismissal.

"How long have you even liked this girl for, anyway? Didn't you just end things with that
other chick?"

"It's complicated."

“Were you thinking about her every time the two of you fucked?”

"Don't be disgusting."

"Me?" Eren said incredulously. "You always act like you're better than me just because you
don't fuck around the way I do... but remember what everyone used to say when we were
kids? Eren and Jean: two sides of the same coin!" Eren laughed but it was sharp and cruel.
"You're like me, Jean — you're just better at hiding it."

“No,” Jean said sternly as he gripped the railing on either side of Eren’s body, caging him in.
"I'm nothing like you, Eren. I actually respect the women that I'm with and I don't just treat
them like a warm, wet hole to stick my dick in."
"And respect, to you, means fucking around with people's feelings?" Eren scoffed. "At least I
just play with their pussies." He was visibly getting annoyed from how the conversation was
taking a turn, Jean could see Eren's face flushing in anger and he knew he should just back
off and relax but he couldn't help himself from pushing a little more.

“You know what, I’m sick and tired of guys like you. You think you can just waltz in and
take any girl you want — fuck that, Eren. Fuck you. Stay away from my friends.”

“Yeah? You gonna guard her pussy from me? What's your excuse gonna be when she calls
you out? I'm protecting you, baby — this is for your own good,” Eren sneered, goading Jean
on.

“Fuck you, dude. Go find somewhere else to stick your nasty ass dick.”

“Fuck you. You know what, Jean? You are just like your dad. Manipulative and selfish and
just an all-around shitty-fucking-person. You gonna hide this girl away for the rest of your
life, huh? Just like what daddy is doing to mommy?”

Jean watched Eren’s eyes widen in shock from the bite behind his words. Eren crossed the
line with that comment, and they both knew it, but before Eren could stammer out an
apology, Jean’s gaze hardened and his rage burst forward.

Jean lifted both hands from the railing immediately, gripping Eren’s shirt hard and pushing
his upper body over the railing as Eren’s hands reached up to grab desperately around his
wrists. “You’re such a fucking disappointment, you know that? I’m trying to keep her safe
from getting her heart broken, not that you’d ever understand that.”

“Oh, fuck off!” Eren scoffed, shoving at Jean’s chest to push him away but the two still
leaned over the railing precariously. “She’s just some dumb bitch like the rest of the girls out
there,” Eren nodded his chin back toward the party. “Don’t make her out to be some saint
when she still gets down on her knees to suck dick, just like every other girl.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Jean hissed, pushing Eren further over the railing. It wasn't very high, but
there was still a chance that Eren could break something if he fell off — but Jean didn't care.
“Do you know why no woman ever wants to be in your life, Eren? Why all these girls are
happy to just fuck you and leave? Because you don’t deserve love.”

Jean sneered, leaning his face so close to Eren’s that their noses were brushing. “Not a single
man in the fucking Jaeger family deserves to be loved. Each and every one of you is a piece
of shit.”

“Hey, fuck off,” Eren said, pushing at Jean again, but with a little less strength. Jean could
see the way that his words affected him and how Eren was beginning to close in on himself,
but he couldn’t stop.

“You think your fucking mom would be proud of what you’re doing?”

Eren visibly snapped. Jaw clenching tightly as his gaze hardened, shooting up to glare
menacingly at Jean. “Don’t you ever fucking talk about my mom.”
“Do you think she’d be happy to hear the way you talk?”

“As if you’re any better!” Eren yelled, wrapping his hands around Jean’s wrists and
squeezing tightly. “You always complain that everything’s because of my dad. My life sucks
because of my dad — wah wah wah,” Eren said, using a high-pitched voice to mock Jean.
“But you still fucking let him! Nobody told you to go to Paradis after you found out about
your dad’s donations!” Eren continued and Jean’s face twisted in anger. “You complain about
all the fucking benefits you get from being a Kirstein, but I don’t see you doing anything
about it.”

“Fuck off, you don’t understand,” Jean spat, angry.

“Fuck, it must be so hard being rich and spoiled,” Eren mock-whined, twisting his hands
around Jean’s wrists to pull him off, but Jean only grabbed on tighter. “I bet that’s why every
girl you date cheats on you — because they realize you’re just a big fucking baby.”

“At least I’m not a fucking orphan!”

Eren didn't even look mad anymore — his face was stone cold. Jean knew he'd gone too far,
that he had gone too far a long time ago, but there was no going back after saying something
like that.

“You know what, Jean? I will fuck her.” Both boys were breathing heavily as Jean pushed
Eren further over the railing, threatening to launch him over it completely and into the snow.
Eren had one leg wrapped around Jean’s in an effort to hold himself up as he dangled
backward off the edge.

“I’ll fuck that little slut so good that she forgets all about you. Just picture it: your little whore
bouncing up and down on my dick, screaming out my name — on her knees, tongue out as I
paint her face with my cum — begging for it, begging for me.” Eren was practically spitting
on Jean with every venom-laced word, “I bet your bitch would sound so fucking sweet
cumming on my tongue.”

If Jean were sober, he’d know that Eren was just being spiteful. He was just saying shit as it
came to his head — anything to make Jean angry. But he wasn’t sober, and he just heard
Porco say the exact same thing about Pieck. The blood was rushing in his ears and all he
could see was red.

“Guys! Stop it!”

Jean considered just throwing Eren off the railing. So what, if Eren pulled him down with
him? Jean just wanted to hurt him. He was so angry and overwhelmed and ashamed. Instead,
he turned around to tell Armin to fuck off but met eyes with a bigger, broader blonde standing
behind Armin.

“Jean, get your hands off of him,” Reiner said, eyes narrowing.

Jean huffed in response but pulled away, letting go of Eren and stepping away from him.
“What is going on?” Armin asked, looking between Eren and Jean with concern.

Jean wheeled around to face Eren, still breathing hard as he said, “Don’t you ever talk to me
again, you fucking piece of shit. Stay away from me and my friends.”

“Yeah,” Eren scoffed, taking a threatening step forward. “The feeling’s mutual, bud. Better
keep that girl of yours on a tight leash or I’m going to —”

Jean couldn’t listen to Eren anymore. He shoved past Armin and Reiner in the doorway and
tried to head back into the party. Reiner grabbed a hold of his shirt, holding him in place as
Jean fumed.

“Jean, you need to relax —”

“Let go of me or I’m going to fucking knock you out,” Jean spat, shoving Reiner’s hand off
of his clothes and glaring at him coldly.

Reiner pressed his lips into a thin line and raised both his hands in surrender, letting Jean
walk past him back into the house.

His face was burning hot in anger and he could hear the blood rushing in his ears as he
stormed through the party — he didn’t even know where he was headed or what he planned
on doing, just that he needed to get as far away from Eren fucking Jaeger as humanly
possible.

When he felt soft hands grabbing at his arm he stopped, wheeling around to scream at the
person to just fucking leave him alone, but when he turned, he was faced with you and your
soft, concerned face.

“Jean, is everything ok?” you asked, and the way you were looking at him made Jean’s heart
clench in his chest.

“Yeah, I’m ok,” he sighed, reaching forward to cup your face with his hands. He noticed the
way your breath caught in your throat from the action — he had never touched you like this
before. “I’m doing a lot better, now,” he admitted and you smiled.

“Ok, good,” you said, breathing out a quick sigh of relief. “I thought I heard you yelling.”

“I’m fine,” Jean insisted, eyes darting behind you to meet with Eren’s narrowed gaze as he
entered the party behind Armin and Reiner. “You know you’re my best friend, right?” he
asked, eyes drifting back down to meet yours.

“Of course,” you hum, grinning.

Jean was really drunk — and obviously so were you. He could tell from the dopey smile on
your face and the glazed look in your eyes. You twisted your hands around the fabric of his
shirt and leaned forward against his body until you were pressed flush against him. Jean
stilled, looking down at you with wide eyes as you craned your neck up to look at him.
“I heard you and your girlfriend broke up,” you said, sticking your lower lip out into a small
pout. “I’m sorry to hear that, Jean.”

“It’s ok,” he said, resting his hands on your arms. He watched your gaze dip from his eyes to
his mouth and Jean swallowed loudly.

His heart pounded in his chest as he felt you press tighter against him and Jean’s drunken
mind felt hazy with arousal. Your face was so close to his, he could have easily dipped his
head down and kissed you — ducked down the hallway with you into one of the bedrooms.
Maybe Eren was right. Maybe he just had to stop being so passive.

Jean's grip tightened around your waist before sliding down to press into your lower back. He
leaned forward against you and he watched as your eyes fluttered shut, lips parting, but he
moved his lips against your ear, instead. "Hey, do you want to —"

“What are you doing?”

The sound of Connie’s uncharacteristically stern voice snapped Jean out of his trance. He
looked up and watched as Connie approached, eyes narrow and hard, and Jean’s grip shifted
to start to gently push you away from him.

“She’s really drunk,” Jean tried to explain as Connie looked at the two critically. You were so
drunk, you were still leaning forward into Jean’s body, seemingly unaware that Connie was
even there.

“I can see that,” Connie said, thrusting a glass of water toward the two of you and finally
getting your attention. “I got you some water.”

“Oh! Thank you, Connie!” you said happily, shifting away from Jean and grabbing the glass
with both hands.

“Sasha’s looking for you,” Connie said, jerking his head in the direction of the couches, and
you immediately stumbled over there without another word.

Connie returned his gaze over to Jean and Jean felt like cowering in fear. It wasn’t often that
he was the recipient of this side of Connie.

“What the fuck was that?”

“Nothing,” Jean said quickly, ducking his head in shame and rubbing at the nape of his neck.
“We were just talking.”

“Just talking, my ass,” Connie scoffed.

Jean huffed but kept his head low. “Nothing happened, don’t worry.”

“Don’t use her as a rebound, dude — come on.”

“I’m not,” Jean snapped, before running both hands through his hair in frustration.
 ***

Jean feels sick. He's so scared of turning into his father, and yet here he is — manipulating
your perception of Eren to get you to choose Jean, instead. He's always tried to rationalize it
by telling himself that he's doing this to protect you... but how is this protecting you?

Eren's reaching out to make sure you're ok after he got the shit kicked out of him by Jean...
he's making sure that you are ok.

Does Eren think that Jean's hurting you? Is that why he's reaching out? Is that why he stepped
in? Was Eren fighting Jean to protect you?

And instead of bringing you your phone so you can explain to Eren what's going on, Jean
instead just fucking deleted all of the messages — like some petulant child.

Jean was jealous when he found out that you were hooking up with Eren, but what hurt most
was finding out that you were confiding in Eren. You were telling him about things that were
happening to you at work and seeking him for comfort. You reached out to Eren for help
instead of Jean, your best friend. You trusted Eren in a way that you've never trusted Jean
before and it made him so jealous that he tried to sabotage your relationship.

First, he started throwing out the coffees that Eren was leaving for you on your desk — it was
hard because you and Jean showed up together, but he was quick and sneaky and managed to
trick you into thinking that Eren had forgotten about you.

Then, he did his best to keep you away from him — making you stay over at his hotel room
until late at night and then walking you back to yours to make sure you didn't stop at Eren's.
He tried to tell you about how shitty Eren was and how you deserved better, but you refused
to listen to him. You were still seeing him, even after Jean's warnings.

Taking you away for the weekend was his biggest success. Just you and Jean, away from
Eren and anyone else. You told him that you had feelings for him (which he wasn't expecting)
and the two of you had sex for the first time — Jean felt like he had won. Like all of the
effort he put into pushing you away from Eren had finally worked.

But then, you were still talking to him — so he told you about Eren's group chat. Jean
remembered that rumour from university and twisted it to his advantage — he had no idea if
it was actually real or if Eren would've done that with you, but the important thing was
making you believe that it could be true.

And even that didn't fucking work.

***

“That girl really loves you, you know,” Marie said, eyes crinkling in amusement as she
looked over at Jean seated next to her by the pool. “I can see it in the way she looks at you.”

“She’s my best friend,” Jean said, running his hand over his face and then through his hair.

“I can tell you love her, too,” Marie said and Jean focused all of his attention into his lap.
“Yeah,” he said, clicking his tongue.

“Have you told her how you feel?”

“Not… exactly.” Jean rubbed the nape of his neck with his palm, keeping his head low as his
eyes darted up to look at you from across the pool.

You looked so cute dressed in his clothes, stretching to paint the upper wall of the poolhouse,
skin glistening with sweat. Every time he looked over at you, he just wanted to pick you up in
his arms and hold you tight against his chest. Kissing you last night felt like breaking a dam
on his emotions — it was so much harder for him to keep his hands to himself, now.

“A sweet girl like that isn’t going to wait around forever,” Marie said, drawing Jean’s
attention back to her. “If you love her, you have to tell her.”

“I’m not good enough for her,” Jean said, pressing his lips into a thin line. “She’s so good to
me and I’m worried that I’ll let her down. I’m scared of hurting her.”

“Love is pain,” Marie shrugged. “It’s not always going to be easy, it’s something you have to
fight for.”

“Love should be easy,” Jean disagreed. “If it’s not, then you’re just forcing it.”

Marie laughed, reaching across the small table to pat Jean’s arm. “You’re such a hopeless
romantic, Jean-boy. Real life doesn’t work that way. You have to work at love — prove to her
every day how much she means to you.”

“Do you and Dad fight?” he asked, but he already knew the answer.

“Sometimes,” Marie admitted. “But the important thing is that we always come together in
the end.”

“What do you do when he hurts you?”

“I forgive him,” she said, smiling. "Great relationships aren't great because they have no
problems. They're great because both people care enough about the other person to find a
way to make it work."

Jean rolled his eyes but said nothing.

“You’re a good man, just like your father,” Marie said, inadvertently twisting the knife. “She
would be lucky to have you. Don’t let your insecurities stop you from being happy.”

“Yeah,” Jean said, clicking his tongue. He bit at his lip, tearing at the skin as he watched you
paint the poolhouse.

Nothing his mom said to him made him feel better about the situation. If anything, she was
just making things worse. Jean didn’t want to be just like his father, he wanted to be different
— better. It’s what you deserved.
 “I’m going back inside,” Marie said, sitting up with a smile. “Make sure you save some food
for your friend, we have to wait for your father to get home before we have dinner.”

“Right, yeah,” Jean huffed, watching his mother walk back into the house.

He stayed seated by the pool, drinking a glass of water as he returned his gaze to you. He
thought about lazy weekends like this with you, eating breakfast together in the morning and
then sitting out in the sun all afternoon. He thought about going to bed with you and feeling
your body beneath his, touching you, and kissing you. He thought about falling asleep with
you wrapped in his arms and waking up next to you every morning.

Then, he thought about fighting with you and yelling at you. Seeing you cry and watching
him break your heart over and over again. He thought about you begging him for forgiveness
when you’ve done nothing wrong and him taking out his anger on you. He pictured his
parents' relationship and saw you and him, instead.

He groaned in frustration, buried his face in his hands, and took slow, steady breaths.

I can’t promise that I won’t hurt you.

It’s ok, you’re worth the risk.

Chapter End Notes

Congratulations on making it to the end of the second arc of the story!! This arc had
some of the most dramatic scenes in the whole series, often in back-to-back chapters.
Thank you all for sticking through the story despite the weekly emotional exhaustion!

Thank you so much for all of your support and comments. I really love reading all of
your theories and character discussion. Honestly, I feel so lucky to have such a huge
group of people who come back every week to read my story, you have no idea how

🥺
happy it makes me! I wish I could personally hug you and wipe away your tears and kiss
your forehead

Also, I'm so sorry everyone, but I'm going away on a hiking trip in a few days so I'll be
inactive on Tumblr until I return next week and Chapter 26 will be published on
Wednesday, August 9 (PST)!! So sorry for the inconvenience, but after next week we'll
be back to our regular Tuesday updates.

Also also, here's another Team Jean vs. Team Eren poll! Just to see if things have
changed at all since the last time I polled you guys hehe

Sidenote for my Team Eren fans: I have a one-shot with our boy in the works! I hope to
get it uploaded before I leave, but if I can't, I'll post it next Friday.
 The Aftermath
Chapter Notes

cw: Explicit language, angst.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

When you wake up in the morning, Jean isn’t in bed with you.

You remember him cradling you in his arms and holding you tight against his body in his bed
after having sex, but now he’s nowhere to be seen. You wrap yourself tighter in his blankets,
pressing the fabric up to your face and taking a long, slow inhale.

Your heart feels full! You’re so happy and excited! You can hardly believe this is really
happening! You foolishly pinch yourself just to be certain, and when you feel the dull pain in
your arm and the vision of Jean’s room doesn’t disappear, you finally let yourself relax.

You giggle in his bed, wiggling your toes in excitement. This is a dream come true!

The two of you are dating now — really dating! Well… you were before, after your
conversation at the hotel, but for some reason, it just feels official now. The two of you had
sex in your home and spent the night cuddled up next to each other. Sasha and Connie
definitely heard what happened last night, so there’s no hiding it from them any longer.

No more secrets. No more sneaking around. Just you and your boyfriend.

The whole idea just makes you feel like bursting from excitement and you find yourself
clenching your eyes shut tightly to walk yourself back through the events of last night. You
were really drunk, but you’re determined to remember every minute.

You hooked up with Jean before dinner — that was fun. Almost got caught by Connie, but it
was probably for the best. The two of you probably would’ve ended up being even later to
dinner, had Connie not interrupted.

Dinner itself was relatively normal. You chatted with Eren for most of the night because Jean
was talking to Pieck.

Ah! That’s right… you remember being really annoyed by that.

You scrunch your brows in frustration as you start to piece together memories from the latter
half of dinner. The way that Jean kept his back turned towards you so he could talk to Pieck,
and then when Pieck’s boyfriend showed up, Jean flew completely off the handle.
Your excitement fizzles away quickly when you remember Eren and Jean fighting. You
remember being terrified as the two wrestled in the street and you remember the way your
heart clenched when you saw them bruised and bloody.

You’ve never seen Jean get in a fight like that before. He had a small altercation with Porco
on the ice during one of their hockey games, but nothing like what you saw last night. You
just keep replaying that fight over and over in your mind, remembering the way Jean
slammed Eren into the ground and the way Eren was punching Jean in the face.

Remembering the fight leads you quickly back to the memory of Eren’s… confession? You
swallow thickly, feeling your body go hot and cold all at once. After your whirlwind evening
with Jean, you almost forgot about your conversation with Eren.

He was only saying those things because he’s upset that you’re ending things with him, right?
He doesn’t mean it, you assure yourself.

But as much as you try to convince yourself that his words were meaningless, you can’t help
but feel a twisting in your gut the more you think about it. Last night, he seemed so upset —
he was literally crying. Was he really that good of an actor or was there some truth behind
what he was saying?

Eren said that your arrangement was no-strings-attached. He told you that he doesn’t do
relationships. He warned you not to fall in love with him. You don’t understand how he could
suddenly confess his love to you like that when he was the one that set all the boundaries in
your relationship.

You need to talk to him, you decide. He was drunk last night, so he probably didn’t even
know what he was saying. You just need to talk with him and clear everything up between
what happened last night and what that means for the two of you. After all, you’re officially
dating Jean, now. It’s time to cut things off with Eren, completely.

You reach for the side table to feel around for your phone, but you can’t find it. You crawl out
of bed, body aching and sore from last night, and grab Jean’s shirt from his bedroom floor.
Pulling it on for cover, you sneak out of his bedroom and down the hall to the main entrance.

It’s relatively early, so Connie is probably asleep and Sasha is probably at work — since her
bedroom door is open and you don’t see her in there. You peek your head into the kitchen to
see if Jean is making breakfast already, but he’s nowhere to be seen. With a shrug, you
continue on your mission to find your purse.

Your purse is hung up on the coat rack near the door, so it’s easy to find. You reach into your
bag and pull out your phone and are surprised to see several missed calls from Eren from last
night — after you left with Jean. You felt bad for leaving him there on the street, bruised
from his fight and with tears on his face, but you were so overwhelmed with everything that
had happened that you just needed some space from everything.

The backseat of a taxi with Jean passed out next to you felt like a safe place to be while you
sobbed into your hands and calmed down.
You frown as you look down at your phone, swiping it open to check your messages, when
the front door beside you opens up. You squeak in alarm, clutching your phone tight to your
chest as the door pushes open and you see Jean’s head peeking in.

“Oh,” he says, eyes wide. “Hey, you’re awake.”

“Just getting my phone,” you explain, shoulders relaxing when you realize he isn’t some
strange intruder.

You notice the way Jean’s jaw tightens when he looks down at the phone in your hand but
when his eyes flick back up to meet your gaze, he seems normal.

“Where were you?” you ask, stepping aside so Jean can fully enter the house. He shuts the
door quietly behind him and shifts the plastic bag from one hand to the other, using his now-
free hand to press against the small of your back as he guides you back down the hall to his
room.

“I was just doing some running around. Figured I should do it right away instead of waiting,”
he explains, pushing open his bedroom door to further guide you inside. “I was having a hard
time sleeping last night.”

“Oh, really? I slept like a rock,” you explain sheepishly, walking into his room and settling
yourself back into his bed. You grin over at him as you watch Jean shut the door behind him,
walking over to his desk to set down the shopping bag. “What’s in the bag?”

“I got a cold compress for my eye,” he says, pulling it out of the bag and setting it down on
his desk. “I also got… uh… this.” He glances over his shoulder at you as he pulls the box out
from the bag. “I was pretty drunk last night, so I don’t really remember if we…”

You look over at him in confusion as he tosses the box over to you. Glancing at the package,
you see Emergency Contraceptive written across the front and you feel your face bloom with
embarrassment.

“I know we didn’t use a condom, but I just don’t really remember if I… uh… pulled out… in
time,” Jean says awkwardly, avoiding your gaze.

“Oh, no, it’s ok. We don’t need to use this.”

“Yeah? Are you sure?” Jean asks, flustered as he turns back to his desk to fiddle with the cold
compress.

“Yeah, it’s ok,” you insist, waving your hand in dismissal as you set the box down on his
nightstand. “I’m on birth control, so it’s actually fine,” you say awkwardly, face burning in
embarrassment.

He nods in response, walking over to you with his head low. You scooch over on his bed to
make more room for Jean to sit beside you. He settles next to you, snapping the compress in
his hands to activate the cooling solution before pressing it up against his face.

“Does it hurt?” you ask, frowning as you lean forward to get a good look at his face.
“Only a little bit,” he laughs, laying back against the headrest of his bed.

You sigh, leaning forward against his chest and curling up on the bed beside him. Jean is a
little stiff and awkward at first, but then he shifts his arm to wrap it around your shoulders,
pulling you close.

Jean runs his hand up and down along your back as you melt into his chest and you throw
your leg across his lap to nuzzle even closer.

“Are you mad at me?” Jean asks quietly, and you lift your head from his chest to look at him
in confusion.

“Why would I be mad at you?”

“Why wouldn’t you be mad at me?”

You scoff in dismissal, shifting yourself until you’re straddling Jean’s hips with your palms
pressed onto his chest. “We were all drunk last night, it’s ok.”

You should be mad at him. You should ream him out for his behaviour last night: ignoring
you to talk to Pieck and getting in a fight with Eren… but you just want to forget about it and
enjoy the beginning of your relationship with Jean.

He hums noncommittally, but you feel his body soften beneath you. Jean sets down the
compress on his nightstand and the. rests his hands on your hips, gently rubbing up to your
waist and dragging the bottom hem of your shirt up your thighs.

“I really think we need to talk,” he insists, frowning. “I don’t wanna just handwave
everything that happened last night.”

“I do,” you frown. “Don’t worry, Jean, I get it. You saw Porco for the first time in years and
then Eren was being weird and there was alcohol flowing… you don’t have to explain
yourself, I understand.”

“I don’t think that you do,” Jean says. “I only remember bits and pieces of what happened
last night after Porco and Bertolt showed up, but I’ve got a big shiny reminder of what I did.”

Jean gestures to the bruise around his eye and your frown deepens.

“Look, we all make mistakes. I’m not going to hold it against you.”

Jean groans, cupping his face in his hands as he takes in a slow, steady breath. He’s quiet for
a while before he pulls his hands away from his face to look up at you.

“Why is it so hard for you to give up on things that are clearly bad for you?” he says finally,
looking at you with concern.

“What do you mean?”

“Do you feel like you don’t deserve better?” he asks, pressing his fingers into his temples.
“Like, I’m trying to understand what’s going on in your head and I’m just so fucking
confused.”

“What are you talking about?” you ask, shifting yourself back as Jean sits up. You move to
slide off of his lap, opting to sit next to him on the bed, instead.

“You’re going through so much shit at Titan right now, but you refuse to acknowledge that —
maybe — this isn’t a good job.”

“Why are you bringing that up all of a sudden?” you ask, bristling.

“You’re literally crying at work, having panic attacks in public places, and yet you refuse to
even entertain the idea of quitting!” Jean says with a huff. “Why won’t you quit?”

“I’m not just going to give up,” you say, crossing your arms over your chest. “I spent four
years at university getting an accounting degree so I can work at Titan. They’re one of the
most prestigious professional services companies in the World. Working here should be hard,
I’m not just going to give up because I cried a little.”

“Is that how you feel about me, too?” Jean asks and you still. “How long have you lo— how
long have you liked me for? At least a few months, right?”

“More than that,” you say, looking away and wrapping your arms around your waist.

“Right,” Jean says, voice wavering slightly. “So, am I like Titan to you? You’ve liked me for
so long, you don’t wanna give up — even though I’m a shitty fucking boyfriend.”

“You’re not a shitty boyfriend,” you insist, looking back up at him with a frown.

“Yeah?” Jean challenges. “I beat up your friend last night — and for what, exactly?”

You shrug. “I don’t know… I don’t remember.”

“Sounds like probably not a good reason, then, if you don’t remember.”

“What’s going on?” you ask, shaking your head. “Why are you bringing this up?”

Jean frowns. “You keep trying to dismiss something that I really want to talk about.”

“Well, I don’t want to talk about it,” you insist, squeezing yourself tighter. “I just want to
forget it happened, ok?”

Jean huffs and rolls his eyes. “Fine. Fuck. Whatever, we’ll forget about it, then,” he concedes.
He rolls his tongue against his cheek, brows furrowed.

His attitude annoys you. All you want to do is sit here and cuddle with your new boyfriend,
but he’s trying to start a fight over something he doesn’t even remember. Why is he always
making things so hard?
If he wants a fight, then you’ll give him a fight.

“Actually,” you say, starting to feel anger brewing in your gut. “I do want to talk about last
night.”

“Good.” He seems relieved.

“You spent all of last night talking to Pieck and completely ignoring me,” you say before
gesturing to his phone. “And you’re texting her, too!”

Jean blinks at you in confusion before speaking again. “That’s what you’re worried about?
She just texted me to tell me about the reservation, we aren’t talking.”

“And what about at dinner?”

“I was talking to everyone,” Jean says with a huff. “Besides, you were all cuddled up next to
Eren. I didn’t want to interrupt that,” he says sarcastically with another eye roll.

“You literally told me that you had feelings for me the same time you were dating Pieck,”
you say pointedly. “Why is it crazy for me to be insecure about our relationship?”

Jean sucks his cheek into his mouth, gnawing on it gently as he looks at you with narrowed
eyes. “I already told you that I don’t care about Pieck anymore,” he says, voice even and
level. “She’s our coworker, of course, I’m going to talk to her — don’t be unreasonable.”

“Don’t you see the problem?” you ask, throwing your hands up in exasperation. “She’s your
ex-girlfriend! And you spent more time talking to her than you did talking to me last night —
and you got in an argument with her boyfriend! Do you have any idea how that made me
feel?”

“Do you have any idea how you made me feel?” Jean counters. “The second we walked into
the restaurant, you couldn’t take your eyes off of Eren. You let him touch you. And not even
just then — this whole past week!”

Jean crosses his arms over his chest as he regards you carefully. “You’re supposed to be my
girlfriend but you’re spending all of your time with him.”

“No, I’m not,” you answer defensively. “I spent all week with you.”

“Yeah?” Jean laughs, but there’s no humour in his tone. “You spent all week being sad about
Eren. Cuddled up next to Eren — in front of everyone.”

Jean’s tone drops to a hiss as he looks away from you, jaw tight. “Did you think I couldn’t
see you? That everyone couldn’t see — you and him — making out at the airport?”

“We weren’t making out —”

“Yeah, well, you might as well have been!” Jean huffs, grinding his teeth. “Do you know how
fucking embarrassing that is for me? For everyone to see my girlfriend wrapped around
another guy?”
“You’re the one that wanted us to keep it a secret!”

“And the only way to do that is to cuddle up next to Eren?”

You feel shame and guilt burning in your gut as you try to sputter around a response.

Jean sighs heavily, resting his elbows on his knees and cradling his head in his hands. “I want
to be with you, but you’re not being fair,” he says quietly, eyes clenched shut.

“You’re right,” you say quickly, lifting a hand to rest on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, I didn’t
realize —”

“How could you not realize?” Jean says sharply, lifting his head to look at you. “How could
you not realize?” he repeats.

You cower beside him on the bed, eyes downcast at your lap as you gnaw at your lip. He’s
right — everything he said is right. You’ve been entertaining Eren’s advances instead of
shutting them down immediately. Jean is your boyfriend — you shouldn’t be letting another
man touch you the way Eren does.

“I’m sorry,” you say again, quietly. “I wasn’t thinking… I just… I’m sorry, Jean. I won’t let
him touch me like that again.”

“It’s not just that,” Jean grumbles, pulling his knees up to his chest. “You don’t… you don’t
talk to me.”

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t tell me about what’s going on with you at work. You don’t talk to me when you’re
upset, I don’t know how you’re feeling... you only talk to Eren.”

“I just…” you pull your hand off his shoulder, returning it to your lap. “I’m scared that you’ll
think less of me.”

“Why would you think that?” he asks, turning to look at you, resting his cheek on his knees.
“What have I ever done to make you feel like that?”

“I don’t know,” you admit, swallowing the lump in your throat and looking down at your lap.
“But you haven’t really told me anything about Pieck —”

“Why are you so worried about Pieck?” Jean sighs, running his hands through his hair.
“She’s literally just a coworker to me, but you’re making me feel guilty about being friendly.
What do I need to do to make you believe me?”

You just shrug in response. You don’t know.

You don’t know why you find it hard to talk to Jean. You don’t know why you’re insecure
about Pieck. And you don’t know why you can’t let go of Eren.
He sighs heavily and runs another hand through his hair, sniffing sharply and looking away
from you before speaking again, “We shouldn’t do this.”

“Do what?” you ask quietly, eyes still low.

“This isn’t going to work,” he continues. “We’re fucking everything up. Things were better
off when we were just friends.”

You reel back in confusion. “Just like that? You’re going to give up after one argument?”

“I’m not giving up, I’m being realistic — this isn’t working.”

“We’ve literally only been dating for three days.”

“I told you I wanted to take things slow,” he says, running a hand through his hair. “And you
pressured me into making you my girlfriend.”

“You didn’t seem very pressured into it yesterday when you were fucking me,” you retort and
he scoffs, face turning dark red.

“See? I fucking knew it. You only care about sex. You don’t want a boyfriend, you just want
another fuck buddy.”

Jean’s words make your heart twist in your chest. “Jean, you can’t keep doing this to me.”

“Doing what?”

“Doing things… saying things… acting one way when you’re drunk and then backtracking in
the morning.”

“I’m not doing that.”

“You are,” you insist, frowning deeply. “You did the same thing to me the first night we
kissed.”

Jean looks over at you and you try to keep your gaze on him steady, despite your teary eyes.
His face is neutral — expressionless.

“We’re ruining our friendship,” he says swallowing thickly.

“We’re working out the kinks,” you insist. “Things don’t have to be perfect right away.”

Jean shakes his head, “Shouldn’t they? Isn’t the first few months of a relationship supposed
to be the best? Like the honeymoon period, or whatever?” he asks, fiddling with the fabric of
his pants. “We’re only a few days in and we’re already fighting. What does that mean for us
after the honeymoon period?”

He sighs heavily and then groans into his knees, squeezing his legs tight against his chest as
he curls deeper into the fetal position on the bed. “I don’t want to lose you like… I don’t want
us to hate each other.”
“Why would I ever hate you?” you ask softly.

“Because we’re hurting each other,” Jean says into his knees. “We don’t mean to, but we are.
We just — we can’t, ok? I don’t want to do this anymore.”

“Jean, I like you,” you insist. “I want to be with you — I want us to work through this.”

“I like you, too,” he admits, squeezing his eyes shut tightly. “But if liking you is going to hurt
like this, then I don’t…”

He trails off, but the damage is already done. You feel your blood run cold as you swallow
back the lump in your throat.

“Then you don’t want me,” you say and he just sighs heavily in response.

You nod in understanding, quietly crawling off of his bed, and grabbing your clothes from the
ground with shaky hands. You bite your lip to hold back your sobs as you blink away tears on
the walk to his bedroom door. You don’t spare him a second glance as you crank the door
open and then slam it shut behind you.

Jean’s fucking embarrassed. He hates himself. His insecurities are making him act crazy and
that’s not fair to you. You’re scared to be vulnerable in front of him — fuck, he’s scared, too!

Maybe he’s being too pushy about the fight last night. He really doesn’t remember much, just
flashes here and there — maybe he’s over-inflating something that really wasn’t that big of a
deal. If you want to handwave what happened, maybe he should let you.

But instead, you’re focusing on the fact that he talked to Pieck? Sure, maybe he shouldn’t
have ignored you the way he was, but he saw that you were talking to Eren and he just got so
angry.

Angry because you and Eren have this level of intimacy that he’s never had with you before.
In just a few short months, you feel more comfortable with Eren than you have in the years
that you’ve known Jean. He knows he should be more understanding. And if it were anyone
else, he would! If you felt more comfortable talking to Connie, then that would suck, but fuck
— he’d deal with it.

It’s just the fact that it’s Eren that’s killing him. The fact that he knows how charming and
caring Eren can be — how he’s always been. Eren’s always been better at dealing with the
raw edge of people. More understanding, more considerate, more passionate.

Jean’s quick temper and his own insecurities make him dismissive when people come to him
with their problems. He’s never been good at comforting people. It's never felt intuitive to
him — he’s always been awkward and clunky.

Jean and Eren have been compared to one another all their lives. Two peas in a pod. Cut from
the same cloth. Growing up, they even bared enough physical similarities that their teachers
would sometimes get them confused.
Jean is threatened by your relationship with Eren because Eren excels in the area where Jean
falls flat — he doesn’t know what to do.

“I’m so fucking stupid,” he grumbles, rubbing his eyes with his palms as his phone buzzes
next to him. With a sigh, he reaches for it to see Connie blowing up the group chat.

Connie Small Cock: bruh what’s goin on

Connie Small Cock: did u guys get into a fight??

Dr. Sash: ???

I’m not in the mood for this right now.

Connie Small Cock: wtf did u say to her???

Dr. Sash: WHAT HAPPENED!?!?!?!?!

We fucked last night.

Connie Small Cock: lmao ya no shit

Connie Small Cock: i felt like i was the 1 getting fucked from how much the house was
shaking

Dr. Sash: you two kept me up allllll night

Dr. Sash: “pussys so creamyyyyy aahhhhhh”
Dr. Sash: BARF
Dr. Sash: jean you gotta stop watching so much porn
Dr. Sash: ppl don’t talk like that irl wtf

Connie Small Cock: yo i can hear her crying?

Connie Small Cock: wtf happened?

It’s ok.

Dr. Sash: ????

Dr. Sash: wait
Dr. Sash: what’s happening?

Connie Small Cock: shes really upset dude

We broke up.

Connie Small Cock: @Big Dick Jean

Connie Small Cock: disrespectfully, ur a major fuckin asshole
Connie Small Cock: u fuck her
Connie Small Cock: and then u dump her???

It’s not even my fucking fault.

Chill out.
Dr. Sash: ????
Dr. Sash: is that a joke?
Dr. Sash: i’ve literally been telling you for MONTHS that she’s into you
Dr. Sash: she wouldn’t fuck things up with you
Dr. Sash: be honest with yourself

You don’t have a fucking clue, Sasha.

Sasha responds with a voice note of her screeching that Jean listens to while hunched over his
phone in bed. As if he didn’t already feel like shit, now his other two best friends are making
him feel even worse by calling his shit out in the Golden Trio group chat.

Despite what Jean and Sasha may have said to assure you, the trio were still regularly
chatting in a group chat that excluded you. And the Golden Trio chat was reserved for…
well… talking about you.

Jean had confessed his feelings for you to his two other friends shortly after the four of you
moved in together. Jean didn’t realize how obvious he was about his attraction toward you
until fucking Connie figured it out. Since then, Connie and Sasha haven’t stopped teasing
Jean about it in the group chat.

Sasha’s been going on for months about how Jean needs to ask you out. Assuring him that
you feel the same way, but Jean never believed her. How could he when you were literally
hooking up with Eren at the fucking office?

Connie, meanwhile, flooded the group chat with cautionary warnings and vaguely relatable
quotes and memes about your so-called friends-to-lovers struggle. He didn’t think that things
would work out between the two of you because, in his words, Jean’s a real fuckin pussy —
maybe he’s right.

This is why Jean didn’t want you to tell Connie and Sasha about your relationship. He knew
those two would immediately start harassing him in the group chat, and — thankfully —
despite you telling Sasha almost immediately, she kept it to herself until last night. But then
Connie asked Jean in the group chat why the two of you were hanging out behind a closed
door and Sasha couldn’t contain herself.

Dr. Sash: you’re literally so stupid……………..

Dr. Sash: like so fucking stupid………….

Connie Small Cock: yeeeee

Dr. Sash: what was your excuse??

Dr. Sash: you finally make some progress and you just…..
Dr. Sash: ruin it??????

Doesn’t matter. I don’t even like her.

Connie Small Cock: fuck off with that bs

Dr. Sash: dude come on
Dr. Sash: ughhh im so pissed off with you

It’ll be fine.

Dr. Sash: god

Dr. Sash: i have to get back to work but i need to see your written apology so i can make sure
you don’t MAKE THINGS WORSE
Dr. Sash: send in the gc plz

I can handle it on my own, thanks.

Dr. Sash: NO
Dr. Sash: NO. YOU CLEARLY CAN’T JEAN

Connie Small Cock: yo did u hear that??

Dr. Sash: you like her!!! just admit it!!!

Dr. Sash: you literally told us you do!!!

Connie Small Cock: door slamming??

Dr. Sash: you’re so scared of hurting her

Dr. Sash: but doing this just literally hurts her MORE
Dr. Sash: and it’s hurting YOU!!!!!
Dr. Sash: let yourself be happy for once!!!!
Dr. Sash: ugh i’m SO MAD AT YOU

Connie Small Cock: yo

Connie Small Cock: jeanboi
Connie Small Cock: i think she left

Jean looks down at his phone with furrowed brows as Sasha sends line after line of berating
messages that only makes Jean feel worse about the situation.

“She… left?” Jean murmurs to himself, sitting up from his bed and walking out into the
hallway.

Connie’s frowning as he stands near the front door. He turns to look at Jean as Jean comes
close and Connie visibly recoils in shock.

“Dude, what happened to your face?”

Jean just waves his hand in dismissal, standing next to Connie and looking out the front
windows. “What happened?” he asks.

“I saw her get into a car just now and leave with some of her shit,” Connie says and Jean
feels his heart sink. “I think she’s planning on being gone for a while.”
Jean curses, running a hand through his hair as he swipes through his phone. He tries to
ignore the buzzing from Sasha’s messages as he pulls up his text conversation with you.

Where are you going?

Away.
I don’t wanna talk to you for a while.

He groans in frustration, allowing Connie to take his phone away to read the messages as he
runs both hands through his hair. “Fuck, where do you think she’s going?”

“Eren’s?”

Jean’s heart sinks even further as a cold chill washes over his body. “She wouldn’t.”

“Where else would she go?” Connie offers with a shrug.

Jean snatches his phone back from Connie, typing out another message to you.

Don’t be like that.

Come back.
We can talk.

He watches as the message changes from Delivered to Read and waits for your response, but
the dots never appear. Fuck, you’re ignoring him now.

“Dude, seriously, what the fuck happened to your face?” Connie insists as Jean tugs at the
roots of his hair in frustration.

“I don’t really remember,” Jean admits and Connie frowns. “I got in a fight with Eren last
night, that’s all I know.”

“Why?”

“I don’t fuckin’ know,” Jean snaps and Connie shakes his head in disappointment. “I was
really drunk last night and… honestly, Con, I really don’t remember what happened.”

Connie hums, face still twisted in concern as he regards Jean carefully. “Jean… is everything
ok?”

Jean doesn’t respond. He just shakes his head and turns on his heel, returning back to his
room. He doesn’t even bother to walk all the way back to the bed, he just slides down the
wood of his door until his ass hits the ground, and curls up with his knees against his chest.
He presses his hands against his ears in a pathetic attempt to block out the rest of the world as
he sinks into a sorrow of his own making.

***

When you called the taxi to come get you, you didn’t really have a plan in mind for where to
go. The only friends you felt like you could rely on were the Core Four, but — obviously —
you can’t talk to Jean about this, and you don’t want to stay at home and wait for Sasha to get
off work. The only other person you could think of was Eren, but after his confession last
night you weren’t ready to face him just yet, either.

So, instead, you went to the only other place you could think of — the Titan office
downtown.

You don’t feel comfortable being anywhere right now — but you have to pick somewhere,
and since it’s Sunday you figure it will be a safe, empty place to go until you figure out what
you’re actually going to do.

From the minute you walk into the office, you feel even worse about yourself. You know that
this is probably one of the last times you’ll ever walk into this building. After your meeting
with Erwin, you doubt you’ll still be employed here.

To your surprise, it’s not as empty as you’re expecting. After walking past reception on your
way to your desk, you notice that there’s the odd person or two sitting in their cubicle doing
work. It’s a little sad to see, and you feel your heart race at the sight — is this what you
should’ve been doing to catch up? Working on the weekends? How much of yourself are you
expected to give to this company?

Your plan is to just sit at your desk for a bit until you can collect your thoughts and come up
with a plan of what you’re going to do. You don’t really want to go back to the house to see
Jean until you know what you want to say to him. You and Jean have never gotten into a real
fight before, so you’re not sure how to approach reconciling things.

And then, do you even want to reconcile things? He was such a jackass to you about your
night together. He should be the one working to reconcile things — not you. But you know
that’s just your irrational, emotional brain talking. Jean is important to you and you want
things to work out with him.

And then there’s Eren.

What was that last night? His emotional love confession to you out of nowhere still has your
heart racing when you think about it, so you push it out of your mind for now. One crisis at a
time.

You plop down onto your chair at your desk and bury your face in your hands, breathing
heavily.

How did you get into this mess?

You hear someone whisper your name, snapping you out of your spiraling thoughts and you
look up to see Petra standing by your cubicle. Her eyebrows are scrunched in the centre of
her forehead and she’s looking down at you with a firm frown.

“What are you doing here? I told you to take some time off.”

You sigh heavily, “It’s complicated.”

“Whatever, it’s actually good you’re here. Saves me a drive into the suburbs.” She pulls up a
chair to sit next to you, flipping through a stack of papers in her hands. “I was just working
on something for you.”

“Is it my termination documents?”

She looks at you with a frown. “No, it’s your mental health leave forms.”

Petra holds out the papers for you and you take them warily. Flipping through the pages, it’s
just a form asking you some basic personal information and questions about your health.
You’re confused.

“I already talked with our benefits provider and submitted a stress leave request on your
behalf, so I just need you to fill out these forms with your family doctor and I can submit
them,” she explains, pointing down at the bottom of one of the pages requesting a
practitioner’s signature. “Your leave is effective immediately, but if you want to get paid,
you’ll need to have these forms filled out.”

You’re still confused and it must be evident on your face because Petra continues.

“Nobody should be having a panic attack because of their job, that’s a sign of severe mental
distress. I know things have been really hard for you recently with the PIP and everything,
but it’s important to always look after yourself first.”

“Stress leave?” you ask, still looking down at the pages in blank confusion.

“Yeah, it’s… it’s not something to be ashamed of,” she explains. “Our benefits program is
really good, so you’ll still be getting paid like eighty percent of your regular salary once you
submit these forms.”

“How long will I be gone for?”

“That’s a question for your doctor,” Petra says, sitting back in her chair and crossing her arms
over her chest. “The idea is that you go see professional help and they give you the tools you
need to manage your mental health better when you return to the workplace. It could be
anywhere from two weeks to over a month or maybe even indefinitely.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You need this,” she says emphatically. “Trust me. I’ve seen stronger people than you go
through what you did at the airport this weekend. You can’t just come in to work again on
Tuesday and pretend like it never happened — it’ll kill you.” She taps the pages in your hand
with her finger, “Fill this out and take some time away from it all.”

“I’m so confused,” you shake your head, still trying to make sense of it all. “Is this what
Erwin wanted to talk to me about?”

“Uh, not quite,” Petra says with a shrug. “I don’t actually know the details of the meeting, but
whatever it is, it doesn’t matter. Prioritize this first. Titan will still be here waiting for you
whenever you’re ready to come back.”
After everything that’s happened these past few days, you feel like you have whiplash.

“Why are you doing this?”

“Because I’m worried about you,” she says with a heavy sigh. “You remind me a lot of an old
friend… he went through something really similar and it almost broke him. I want to make
sure the same thing doesn’t happen to you.”

You don’t want to give up on Titan but you can’t help but feel like Petra just brought you to
the light at the end of the tunnel. Going on stress leave will delay your inevitable firing, but if
you take some time off and refresh, you might be able to come back more clear-headed than
you are now. You might be able to convince Erwin to give you another chance! There’s only
one problem…

You look back down at the pages. “I don’t have a family doctor.”

“What?”

“I didn’t think I was going to stay here when I came for university, so I never got one… and
now I still don’t.”

She frowns, rubbing her chin in thought. “Uh, ok. Well, that’s not good. They won’t pay you
unless the forms are signed off by a licensed practitioner… but that’s ok, you can still go on
your leave.”

“I can’t go without a paycheque,” you say, frowning. “I can’t afford housing on my own… I
need money.”

Petra presses her lips into a tight line as she considers your words. “Well, I could help you get
a chill, part-time job during your leave. I don’t think that’s against the rules.”

You feel like crying tears of happiness. You’re so grateful you came to the office today and
ran into Petra, it’s like she knows exactly what you’re going through and how to help. A part-
time job would help you get enough money while on leave from Titan.

“Thank you, Petra,” you say, brushing away tears with the heel of your hand. “This is… this
is amazing.”

She breathes a heavy sigh of relief, sinking back into her chair. “Please, don’t thank me. I’m
part of the problem.” She takes the pages away from you gently before ripping them up and
tossing them into the trash. “Ok, since you don’t have a family doctor, the leave will be
unpaid and you can just keep it going until you decide you’re comfortable to go back to
work. I think someone from the benefits program will reach out to you via phone or email,
and they can give you more details than I can.”

“Thank you, Petra,” you say again, looking up at her with gratitude. “Thank you, thank you.”

She blushes in embarrassment and averts her gaze. “Really, you don’t need to thank me. I’m
just doing the bare minimum.”
The two of you sit in silence together for some time before she turns back to look at you, now
gazing at you in confusion. “So, sorry — why are you here on a Sunday?”

“I got in a fight with my roommates,” you explain, fidgeting with the bottom hem of your
hoodie. “I didn’t really know where else to go, so I guess I just came here.”

“You live with Jean, right?”

“Yeah, and a few others.”

“Why don’t you go to Eren’s?”

His name causes your body to flash hot and cold at the same time. “We got in a fight, too.”

“Wow,” she laughs, shaking her head. “So, what’s the plan then?”

“I don’t know.” You shake your head, turning back to rest your elbows on your desk with a
heavy sigh. “I think I just need a night alone from everyone to cool off for a bit — maybe I’ll
just spend the night here...”

“Ew, don’t do that,” Petra says, scrunching her face in disgust. “I’d invite you to stay with
me, but I live in a shoebox and there’s barely enough room for me,” she says with a laugh.
“Don’t you have any other friends?”

“Not really,” you admit sheepishly.

“What about Reiner? You two seem close.”

Reiner. You hadn’t thought about him.

“Hmm, I guess I could ask him. I don’t have his contact information though, so I’m not sure
how I’d get ahold of him… plus his friends are in town, so I’m sure he’s got enough on his
plate.”

“It’s worth a shot to call him,” Petra says, pulling her phone out from her pocket. She thumbs
through the different icons before finding what she needs and holds it out for you: it’s
Reiner’s cellphone number. “Just ask him — he’s a good guy.”

It couldn’t hurt, you reason, before taking Petra’s phone in one hand as you pull out yours
with the other. You type in Reiner’s contact information, hovering over the Call button for a
beat before clicking it and holding your breath as it rings.

“Hello, this is Reiner Braun, how can I help you?”

You giggle a little at Reiner’s husky voice on the other end of the call before introducing
yourself. “I’m sorry to bother you, I just… I wasn’t sure who else to call.”

“Oh, not a problem at all! I’m happy to help, what do you need?”
You fiddle with the hem of your hoodie, looking to Petra for reassurance before speaking.
“My life is kind of complicated right now… is there any chance I would be able to stay with
you? Just for one night.”

He’s quiet for a beat and you almost take it back when he says, “I’m actually going to Marley
for the week, so I won’t be home. I’d totally be open to having you stay over and housesit
while I’m gone.”

“Oh, no, if you’re not going to be home, that’s ok!” you say quickly, flustered. “I can call
someone else, it’s fine.”

“No, no, no,” he insists. “You’re welcome to stay here. If you need to stay for longer too,
that’s fine, we can play it by ear.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course, anything for a friend.”

You practically crumble into your seat in gratitude. “Thank you, Reiner.”

“Yeah, anytime,” he insists, and even through the phone you know he’s smiling. “Do you
need a ride?”

“You live close to the office, don’t you? I’m actually at Titan right now, so I can just walk
over.”

“Sure, I’ll text you the address! We aren’t leaving until this afternoon, so just try to come by
in the next couple of hours.”

After hanging up with Reiner, you release a shaky breath.

Not even 20 minutes ago, you were close to tears and feeling hopeless and now — now,
things seem to be working themselves out.

You just have to figure out what you’re going to do about Jean and Eren, now.

“Are you heading over right away?” Petra asks, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Yeah, I might as well,” you offer with a shrug. You open up your map app on your phone
and input Reiner’s address, showing the route to Petra.

“Oh, that’s perfect, actually!” she says, grinning. “I have a friend who owns a small tearoom
nearby there. I could introduce you guys and maybe you can work there while you’re on your
stress leave.”

This time, you do start to cry. “Thank you, Petra. Thank you, so much.”

She stares at you in a panic with wide eyes, hands hovering over you like she’s not sure
whether to hug you or pat you or not touch you at all. “It’s fine! It’s fine! Please stop crying.”
Chapter End Notes

The results of the poll are in! 84% of you are Team Eren (with 64% having been Team
Eren FROM THE BEGINNING!!), 11% are Team Jean (with 2% of you having started

💀
out Team Eren but then switching at some point), and finally 5% are Team
Nobody/Other

Sorry, I've been slacking on sharing deleted scenes! I'll try to share some with you this

🙏
week now that some of the major plot points have finally been revealed. (And the Eren
one shot I promise )

EDIT: Please go check out Beautiful by shepnicolo it's an alternate ending to Chapter
24, where Reader leaves with Eren and it's honestly perfect.
 A Fresh Start
Chapter Notes

A lovely artist on Tumblr named @whenrene was inspired by this story to draw some

together!! 🥰💗
art of Reader's photo with Eren at The Point and another with Reader and Jean
Please go check it out and send them some love!!

cw: Explicit language, angst, violation of consent (sharing explicit photos and details of
sexual encounters with others)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

The tearoom that Petra takes you to is in an alleyway between two larger buildings. It’s small
with minimal signage, to the point that you’re not completely convinced that this isn’t a drug
front, despite Petra’s assurances.

There is a small table just outside for seating as well as two tables inside, with shelving and
the counter taking up the majority of the space in the small shop. Despite the small space and
the sketchy location, the shop is spotlessly clean. Nobody is standing at the counter when you
arrive and there’s no bell to ring for service, so you just stand awkwardly with Petra while
you wait.

She taps her fingers on the counter impatiently. “He should be around, the door was
unlocked.” She places both hands on the countertop and leans over it to try to peek in the
back room, calling out in a sing-songy tone, “Hello!”

“What?” comes a gruff voice from the back room.

“How do you expect to make any money with service this terrible?” Petra tsks, grinning
widely.

You just hear a heavy groan from the back room, followed by the scraping of a chair on the
ground before a man comes out to tend to the front — a familiar man.

“Oh, Professor Levi!” you say quickly, smoothing out your hair and your clothes as you look
down at him with wide eyes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you owned this place.”

He says your name sharply in greeting, but his narrowed eyes are fixed on Petra as he presses
his palm to her face, pushing her away and back to the customer side of the counter.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” he asks, voice dry.

“The two of us work at Titan together,” Petra explains, brushing Levi’s hand away from her
face as she gestures toward you. “But she’s taking some time off for a bit.”
He scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest but says nothing.

“She doesn’t have a family doctor so she can’t get the form signed for our benefit program,”
Petra continues and you think you finally catch a flash of something on Levi’s face but it’s
gone before you can even identify it. “I know how busy you get working here, so I thought
you might need the extra help.”

Levi pointedly looks around the shop at the two empty tables and then behind you and Petra
to the empty line before shifting his gaze back to Petra.

“She went to Paradis University, so you probably had her in one of your classes — you must
know how good of a worker she is.”

“I am aware,” he says, nodding slowly.

You stand awkwardly off to the side as Petra and Levi talk about you like you’re not even in
the room. You fidget with the strap of your bag, eyes fixed on the floor as Petra explains to
Levi your current situation, in extremely limited detail. But Levi’s always been sharp, and
you know he can fill in the blanks despite Petra’s efforts to stay vague.

“I’m not some home for stray dogs, Petra,” Levi says, sucking his cheek into his mouth. “It’s
not my responsibility to take care of your junior staff.”

“I know, I know,” Petra says quickly, clasping her hands together at her chest. “Please, Levi?
You owe me.”

“I owe you?” he asks, brow cocked.

“Yeah,” Petra insists, nodding.

He scrunches his nose in, what might be amusement — the corner of his lip twitching upward
before he finally turns toward you. “What do you know about tea?”

“I used to work at a cafe when I was in university,” you explain.

“What do you know, about tea?” Levi repeats, eyes narrowing.

You suck in a sharp breath, suddenly transported back to when you were a student in
Professor Levi’s class. He was always short and to the point in his lessons, which paired well
with your learning style so you were able to catch on quickly. You had never actually talked
to him one-on-one like this — never went to his office hours or asked him questions after
class — so this is your first time experiencing the brunt of his cold attitude.

“Not much,” you admit, gaze wavering, “But I’m looking forward to learning.”

He hums in response, turning on his heel and walking into the back room. You can hear
rustling inside before he returns with a small stack of papers and a pen.

“You’ll need to fill out these forms for employment records,” he explains, setting them down
on the counter.
You take the papers quietly to begin filling them out as Petra cheers beside you. “Thank you,
Levi!”

He just offers a grunt in response as Petra starts rattling off about things that have happened
at work. She talks about the new crop of hires, she talks about how Oluo is annoying (as
always), and then she talks about Hange and Erwin.

You try not to eavesdrop, but you can’t help but notice the way that Levi’s body stiffens at the
mention of their names. Petra gives a quick run-down on how Titan has been doing and
Erwin’s plans for expansion and how Hange has moved to consulting. Levi’s noncommittal
grunts become more frequent as she waxes on about Hange’s dedication to quality and
Erwin’s dream of business-world domination.

“Erwin has been scouting out other small firms in the area,” Petra explains. “He offers to
purchase their company and absorb it into Titan, and if they refuse then he reaches out to
their clients to try to steal them away.”

Levi tsks in response.

“He’s been using the Kirstein kid to help him — doesn’t even let him say a word in the
meetings though. Him just sitting there, looking exactly like his dad is enough to get clients
to switch over to us,” Petra says, voice hushed. “Then after Erwin steals away their major
clients, he goes back to the firm and offers an insultingly low purchase price, that the
company is forced to take. It’s bringing in way too much work for the current staff to
handle.”

Petra crosses her arms over her chest, shrugging slightly as she continues, “Hange’s on
Partner Track, working closely with Erwin on all major assignments. I think they’re going to
get promoted pretty soon here, once Erwin acquires a few more firms.”

“Stupid,” Levi tsks.

“Despite transferring divisions, they’re still doing work for both consulting and accounting.
Hange did all of the review for our new client this past week, they were sending me emails all
through the night — it was ridiculous!”

Levi’s gaze snaps to yours and you fluster immediately, having been caught eavesdropping
and you lower your eyes back to the paper, scribbling frantically.

“Are you done?” Levi snaps.

“Just about,” you say, quickly scribbling in the last remaining details before pushing the
pages across the counter toward Levi. “I can get you my direct deposit stuff tomorrow, I just
need to go to the bank.”

He hums in response, scanning the pages with his eyes to ensure they’ve been filled correctly
before taking the papers and the pen to the back room. He returns with a small, nicely folded
apron that matches the one he’s wearing.
“You can start on Tuesday once you’ve gotten me the rest of your forms.”

“Ok,” you squeak, taking the apron from him. “Thank you!”

You notice Petra and Levi staring at you expectantly and you shuffle your weight from one
foot to the other, unsure of what to do now.

“Do you need help getting to Reiner’s place?” Petra asks, lips pursed.

“Uh, no, I guess not.”

“Ok, I’m going to stay here for a bit.”

They keep staring at you, so you take that as your cue to leave. “Ok, thanks for all your help!
I’ll see you on Tuesday, Levi.”

Levi doesn’t bother to say goodbye as you walk out of the store and you can see through the
front window the two immediately return to their conversation as you walk out of the
alleyway and back to the main street.

***

Reiner’s apartment is about fifteen minutes away from Levi’s tearoom and twenty minutes
away from Titan. You need to buzz his room with the intercom near the main entrance to be
allowed into the building and once you’re in, you take the elevators up to his floor.

You knock on the door lightly and it swings open almost immediately. Reiner looks down at
you with a soft smile, dressed in his now-familiar casual attire of an oversized hoodie and
some cotton shorts.

“Hey, I’m glad you found the place ok,” he says, stepping aside to let you in.

The main entryway is just a small hallway with one door leading to the bathroom before
opening up to the main living area. You kick your shoes off near the entrance and walk
deeper into Reiner’s apartment to find his friend from earlier leaning by the kitchen counter,
drinking out of a steaming mug.

“I just made some coffee, do you want any?” Bertolt offers, gesturing to the half-filled pot on
the counter.

“Sure, thank you,” you say with a polite smile as Reiner takes your bag off of your shoulder.
“Just black, please.”

“I cleaned the sheets this morning, so they’ll be good to go for you,” Reiner says, setting your
bag down on his bed located in the corner of his studio apartment.

“Oh, that’s ok, I can just sleep on the couch,” you say, flustered.

“I’ll be gone anyway, it’s fine,” Reiner insists as Bertolt presses a warm mug of coffee into
your hands.
You look up at him with a smile in thanks and he nods in response, walking past you to sit on
the couch in the living area.

“So… do you want to talk about it?” Reiner asks, arms crossed as he leans against a nearby
wall, regarding you carefully.

You frown, looking down at your mug of coffee to avoid his soft gaze. You glance over your
shoulder at Bertolt on the couch and it looks like he’s busy on his phone, but you know he’s
probably eavesdropping.

Looking back over at Reiner’s soft face, you decide that you don’t really care if Bertolt
knows about your business — you need Reiner’s comforting presence to help you deal with
everything.

“Jean and I got into a big fight this morning so I just wanted some space away.”

Reiner hums in response and even with your head low you can hear his rubbing the scruff on
his chin with his palm in thought.

“I talked with Petra this morning and she’s putting me on stress leave with work,” you
continue, squeezing around the mug tightly to ground yourself. “So, my life is kind of in
shambles right now.”

“Do you want me to stay here with you?”

“No, no, I know you want to go back to Marley with your friends! It’s ok,” you assure,
looking up at him. “I think the time alone will actually be good for me.”

“Ok,” Reiner says, unconvinced. “We’re planning on leaving in an hour or so here, just
waiting for Porco and Pieck to get their shit together. I won’t be back until next Sunday.”

“That’s fine, I can stay here and look after the place. Do you have any plants you need me to
water?” you ask, looking around the room.

He laughs. “No, but I’ve got some food in the fridge that needs to be eaten before it goes
bad.”

You laugh with him, finally settling down on the couch next to Bertolt as Reiner sits in the
armchair off to the side.

“How long have Pieck and Porco been together?” you ask abruptly. Bertolt stills in his seat,
but Reiner takes the question in stride.

“A couple of years now,” he says with a shrug. “They kept things casual for a while because
Pieck had just gotten out of a bad relationship, but those two were always good friends so
they ended up dating exclusively pretty quick.”

“A bad relationship?”

“Yeah, she was dating Eren's older brother."

You reel back a little in shock. “I didn’t know Eren had an older brother.”

“I don’t think they’re very close,” Reiner says, but you can tell from his face that he’s a little
unsure.

You hum in consideration, reeling from the shock of finding out, not only that Eren has a
brother, but that Pieck dated him. Maybe she was right about the two of you having a lot in
common — you definitely have a similar taste in men. You imagine a scenario where you and
Pieck are sisters-in-law, meeting up with the Jaeger family on the holidays and having to
pretend like the two of you don't completely hate each other. The thought makes you snort.

“Should you really be gossiping about our friends with a stranger?” Bertolt asks, eyebrow
raised as he glances over at Reiner.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to pry,” you say, looking between Bertolt and Reiner. “I’ve never heard
her talk about Porco before, so I was surprised to see them together.”

“Yeah,” Reiner says, laughing. “Pieck is very private about her personal relationships,
especially since she's been working with Jean.”

Your whole body bristles. “Oh?”

“Pieck and Jean dated for a little while,” Reiner explains, but you already knew that. “The
ending of her previous relationship kind of overlapped with the beginning of her relationship
with Jean… and then the ending of her relationship with Jean overlapped with the beginning
of her relationship with Porco… I think she still feels guilty about how it all went down.”

You hum in response. In your opinion, feeling guilty about cheating on someone doesn’t
excuse her poor behaviour, but you don’t think slandering one of Reiner’s closest friends is a
good idea right now, given your situation.

“So, how’s things with Jean?” Reiner asks and you curl forward into yourself. “What did you
fight about?”

You sigh heavily. “We broke up this morning.”

“What happened?” Reiner presses, but you notice that he and Bertolt share a quick glance.

“We got into a fight over some stuff that happened last night,” you say, and you can see
Bertolt peering at you from over the lip of his coffee mug. “Jean and Eren got into a physical
fight last night and Jean kept saying that he wanted me to hate him for it.”

Reiner hums, taking a slow sip of his coffee before speaking. “So, the two of you... broke
up?”

You nod and look back down at your mug of coffee with a sigh. “Yeah… Jean was really
feeling down about the fight… but I got upset with him, too, because I didn’t like the way he
was talking to Pieck.”
Bertolt and Reiner share another look. You turn to look over at Reiner with a questioning
stare and he sighs.

“I had kind of thought that you and Eren were dating,” Reiner says. “So, I was surprised the
other night when you spent the night in our room with Jean.”

You feel your cheeks flood with heat and you look back down at your mug. “I told you
already, Eren and I were just hooking up.”

“Kinda seems like you still are from the way you two acted at dinner,” Reiner says and you
feel guilt twisting your stomach into knots.

“Yeah… that’s what Jean said, too.”

“You guys will figure it out,” Reiner shrugs and you look up at him with a smile.

“Yeah, I hope so.”

“How’re you feeling about work?” he asks, thankfully changing the subject.

You shrug, “I think I’m about to get fired, so we’ll see. What about you?”

“I put in my two weeks on Friday,” he says, setting his empty coffee mug down on the table.
“After taking care of you at the airport, I realized that this job isn’t worth it. I’m taking the
week off to spend time in Marley with the gang and then when I come back, I’ll finish up at
work, and then I’m going traveling.”

You nod in approval. “That’s awesome, Reiner, I’m really happy for you.”

Reiner jerks his chin toward Bertolt with a laugh. “I’m trying to convince this guy to come
with me, but he claims that he can’t get any time off — at his dad’s firm! Can you believe
it?”

You laugh, glancing over at Bertolt next to you to see him rolling his eyes.

“Do you want to come with me?”

Reiner’s question makes you pause, turning back toward him to see him looking at you very
seriously. “To Hizaru?” you ask.

He shrugs. “Yeah, I’d love the company.”

“That sounds fun,” you say, looking back down at your drink. “But I don’t know what I want
to do, yet.”

“That’s ok,” Reiner says with another shrug. “I don’t mean to pressure you. You can think
about it.”

“Ok, thanks,” you say, smiling. “I will.” You finally take a sip of the coffee that's been
cooling in your hands and you grimace a little from the bitter taste on your tongue.
Reiner perks up immediately, seeing your reaction. "Do you want some cream and sugar? I've
got that fancy flavoured stuff if you want."

"No, it's ok, I love black coffee," you assure him with a smile as you choke back the rest of
your drink.

***

The two boys leave with their things after another hour of chatting, explaining that Porco and
Pieck are ready. You're grateful that they aren't coming up to Reiner's apartment to visit —
you're not sure if you'd be able to be polite to Pieck in front of all of her friends after last
night.

Left in the apartment by yourself, you finally let out a shaky breath.

Ok, this is it. You have one week before Reiner gets back to try to figure things out. Where to
start?

You check your phone to finally read the messages from Jean and Eren waiting for you in
your inbox. You open Jean’s message first.

Can you please come back home?

You continue to ignore him.

There are just two messages from Eren, sent this afternoon.

i'm really sorry if i made you uncomfortable

can we please talk?

Your fingers hover over the keyboard as you think of what to say in response. You need to get
to the bottom of his confession from last night, and a part of you wants to see him for comfort
after your big fight with Jean this morning.

Even though your fight with Jean revolved around you talking to Eren, and you know talking
to him more isn't going to help with your and Jean's relationship, you can’t help yourself as
you respond to his message.

Yeah, ok

You send the message before you even have time to think about it. Holding your breath as
you watch it quickly change from Delivered to Read.

now?
i can come get you

I’m not at home

I’m housesitting for Reiner
i can be there in 10
no. 15

Ok

Your heart is beating so fast in your chest that you’re worried you’re about to have another
panic attack, so you decide to jump into the shower quickly.

Standing under the stream of cool water, you scrub at your skin as the water beats at your
back. You’re really nervous about seeing Eren again — really nervous. You’re not entirely
sure why you agreed to see him today, but you already sent the message, so there’s no taking
it back now.

You should have told Eren no. You should have deleted his messages and blocked his
number. You know that talking to Eren is only going to complicate things — but why is it so
hard for you to do those things? You just can't seem to let go of him, no matter how many red
flags pop up.

Not that it should matter! You’re in love with Jean — it shouldn’t matter if Eren has feelings
for you!

You vaguely remember telling Jean that you loved him last night, and him brushing you off
completely. You wonder how much of that conversation Jean remembers… that’s not exactly
how you pictured your love confession to Jean would go. You hope you’ll get another chance
to tell him after the two of you reconcile.

You feel like tearing your hair out from your conflicted thoughts, but instead, you crank the
water to as hot as you can tolerate in an effort to burn away the tingling feeling in your body.

You pull some random clothes out of your bag to change into before Eren arrives — an
oversized white t-shirt and some leggings from the bottom of your bag. You’re thankful that
you didn’t get around to unpacking your stuff from Trost yet, it made it easier to make a
quick getaway from the house after your fight with Jean.

Suddenly, you hear the loud buzz of the intercom system by the door and you rush over to
respond. You tap the button, “Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me,” he says. “It’s Eren.”

“Ok,” you say, tapping the button to unlock the doors for him.

You walk over to the couch, hands clasped in your lap to calm your shaking as you wait in
nervous anticipation for Eren to arrive.

You hardly have time to calm your breathing when you hear him knocking at the door.
Getting up from the couch, you take quick, shaky steps to the door to unlock it for him.

“Hi,” he says breathlessly, standing in the doorway. His hair is loose against his shoulders
and he’s dressed in casual attire as he looks down at you with soft, emerald eyes. His eyes
flick down to your shirt for a moment before bouncing back up to your face, his smile
growing slightly. You look down to see him holding a small bundle of flowers against his
chest and you feel your face burning in embarrassment.

“Hi,” you respond, just as airy as you look up at him. "Are these for me?"

"Yeah," he says, nervously running a hand through his hair. "Just... I don't know." He holds
them out to you and you quickly snatch them from his hands and pull them tight against your
chest, afraid to let him see how much your hands are shaking.

You look down at the bouquet — it's nothing fancy, just a small bundle of a few roses. It's a
really kind and thoughtful gesture and you feel your stomach doing flips knowing that Eren
went out of his way to get these for you.

The two of you stand there in an awkward silence before he makes a vague gesture with his
hand.

“Can I…?”

“Oh, yeah, of course.”

You step aside to let him walk in, shutting the door behind him as the two of you stand
awkwardly in the entryway.

“Do you want to —”

“Should we go —”

The two of you speak at once, staring at each other with wide eyes.

“Sorry, you go —”
“You go first —”

You feel your face burning in embarrassment as you break away from his gaze, looking down
at the ground and gesturing toward the living area.

“Chairs,” you say, and Eren nods in response.

He walks past you into the living room to sit down on the couch, resting his elbows on his
knees as they bounce nervously. You head to the kitchen the place and roses into a small vase
that you find in one of Reiner's cupboards before taking a seat next to him. You press your
body completely against the armrest, hugging a throw pillow close to your chest for security.

“You’re housesitting for Reiner?”

“Yeah,” you nod. “He’s going to Marley for the week.”

“Ah, cool.”

He sits up, drumming his fingers on his knees as he breathes out sharply from his nostrils.
“So, did you guys get home ok last night?”
“Yeah,” you hum, avoiding his gaze. “I got Jean inside and cleaned up some of his wounds
and then we went to bed.”

“Is he ok?”

You snort. “He’s got a giant black eye, but otherwise he’s fine.”

Eren sucks in a sharp breath through his teeth with a grimace as he looks over you. “Shit. My
bad, I didn’t mean to hit him so hard.”

“He was wailing on your pretty hard, too — it’s ok,” you say, waving your hand in dismissal.

“Does he… get like that a lot?” Eren asks, voice dipping down to a hush.

“Um, no,” you shake your head. “That’s the first time I’ve ever seen him like that before… I
think he was just upset about the whole Porco thing.”

“Right.”

Eren drums his fingers against his thighs a little more incessantly as he looks forward, away
from you. You can tell he wants to say something, but he’s holding himself back.

“Are you ok?” you ask quietly, looking to fill some of the silence.

Eren chuckles, bringing his hands up to his chest to crack his knuckles. “Yeah, I’m just a little
sore and my ego’s bruised, but I’m ok.”

“You look… good,” you say, eyeing him carefully for injuries and you watch the corner of
his mouth turn up into a small smile.

“Thanks,” he says, and it almost sounds bashful, but his tone returns to normal when he
continues. “Did the two of you guys… um….” Eren rubs the back of his neck with his hand,
staring nervously down at the coffee table in front of him. “Are you two, like, together now?
I mean, did the plan work?”

You nod, watching as Eren’s shoulders slump forward in reaction. “Yeah, I’m sorry I didn’t
tell you sooner… but when we were in Trost we —”

“Yeah, I get it, it’s ok,” Eren scoffs, waving his hand in dismissal. “I’m… I’m happy for
you,” he says with a smile, but you can see that it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. He rubs his
palms against his pants nervously as he tugs on his lip with his teeth. “I’m glad things worked
out.”

“Well… they didn’t,” you say with a grimace and Eren looks at you curiously. “The reason
why I’m housesitting for Reiner is actually because Jean and I got into a fight this morning.”

“A fight?”

“Not like the one you guys had,” you joke and you see Eren’s shoulders relaxing. “We got
into a bit of an argument and… I guess, we broke up.”
“Oh, that was fast.”

He doesn’t say anything else and the silence drags on for so long you feel compelled to fill it.
“I was mad at him for talking with Pieck the whole night and he was mad at me for talking
with you so much.”

“Oh,” Eren says, and you watch one side of his mouth twitch upward.

“He said that you and I were acting too close,” you continue, and his mouth turns fully into a
smile.

“Is that so?”

You feel like he’s teasing you, so you roll your eyes and look away, feeling heat flooding into
your cheeks as you pout in your seat. “So, I’m staying here until Jean and I can work things
out.”

“And what if you don’t?”

You shrug. “We will.”

He nods in response, facing forward and letting his head hang between his shoulders with a
light sigh.

“Are you going to work tomorrow?” he asks, and you’re grateful for the change in subject.

“No, I’m not going back to work for a while… I’m on stress leave.”

He looks up at you at this, eyebrows knitted in concern and he gently leans toward you. “Are
you ok?”

“I think so,” you say, looking down at your lap as you gnaw at your lip. “All things
considered.”

“Yeah,” he says. “I ended up taking Monday off after our conversation from dinner, so… if
you want any company… I’m available.”

“Thanks,” you shrug.

“Yeah.”

“Do you want to stay and hang out tonight? Order food or something?”

“Yeah, ok. I’d like that.”

“Cool.”

“Cool.”

This conversation feels so awkward after last night. You know that Eren wants to talk about it
— and you do, too — but clearly, neither of you wants to be the one to bring it up, so instead
you fill the air with awkward, tense small talk.

“It’s still really early,” you say, reaching forward to grab the remote from the coffee table to
turn on the tv. “Do you want to watch some tv, first?”

“Yeah, sure. Let’s watch a movie,” Eren decides when you boot up Netflix, and you agree.

***

It’s not until midway through the second movie that the two of you finally relax around one
another.

The first movie is spent with the two of you rigidly sitting on the couch, eyes laser-focused
on the tv despite knowing that neither of you are paying attention. Slowly as time goes on,
the two of you begin to relax. Eren slouches a little in his seat, both legs resting up on the
coffee table while you sit with your back against the armrest, legs curled into the small space
between you and Eren. The two of you lightly discuss scenes from the movie as your toes
inch closer and closer to Eren. You think about stretching your legs across his lap and feeling
the warmth of his palm on your ankle, but you hold yourself back.

When the food finally arrived at the door, you carry it over to the coffee table and Eren leans
for the remote to pause the movie while you organize the food. You notice as you’re pulling
things out of the bag that your hands are shaking, so you try to act as quickly as possible so
you can sit back on the couch.

As you finally sit back, you notice Eren staring at you and you immediately duck your head
in embarrassment. “What?” you ask, gnawing nervously at your lip.

“I…”

Your heart starts pounding in your chest as Eren fumbles over his words. Here it is, you think
to yourself.

“I want to talk about yesterday,” he says quietly, shifting in his seat until he’s fully facing
you, one leg bent up on the couch. “Can we do that?” He rubs his palms against his pants
before curling them into fists on his thighs.

“Ok,” you nod, still keeping your head low.

“Are you mad at me?” he sounds so small when he speaks. "You didn't answer any of my
texts from last night."

“What texts?” you ask, looking up at him curiously.

“I sent you a bunch of…” he trails off with a shake of his head. “You didn’t see them?”

“No, I don’t have anything but missed calls from you,” you say, opening your phone quickly
to confirm. When you show your text history to Eren, he looks at the screen with furrowed
brows, but then leans back in his seat.
“Ok, well… whatever, that’s weird... How much of our conversation from last night do you
remember?”

You cross your arms over your chest awkwardly, sucking in a slow breath before responding.
“Most of it… I think.”

“Ok.” You can hear Eren taking in a shaky breath before exhaling slowly and you clench
your eyes shut in anticipation of his next words. “And… what are you thinking?”

“Eren, this is…” you trail off, practically curling yourself into the fetal position on the couch
in an effort to shrink away from this conversation. You hope that he will fill the silence but
when he doesn’t, you find yourself speaking again, “Did you mean it?”

“Yeah,” he says with a heavy sigh. "I did — I still do. I know that I have a really shitty
reputation and I don’t know what Jean told you, but I know it’s probably not far from the
truth…” he sucks in a sharp breath, “Can I explain myself? Please?”

You just nod jerkily, your body still tense and awkward.

“When I met you for the first time, I thought you were really hot,” you snort at this but Eren
continues. “Jean and I were friends at the time and I knew that you and him were friends, too,
so I wanted to check with him first before I tried anything with you. He told me that he liked
you but that he didn’t want to go for you because of —”

“His parents,” you offer, swallowing thickly. “Yeah, I know.”

“Yeah, right. So, I was joking around with him about you but he was still kinda pissy about
his breakup with Pieck so I think he took it really seriously.”

You lift your head a little to look over at Eren to see him staring down at his lap, fiddling
with his rings as he continues.

“He got mad and then I got mad, so we started fighting, and I… I may have taken things a
little too far…” he sighs heavily, running his hands across his face and groaning into his
palms. “I said some really nasty shit and I promised Jean that I would ruin you.”

Eren is visibly wincing as he tells his story, like remembering that night is physically painful.
You look at him carefully, watching his shoulders shudder as he takes shaky breaths.

“What did you say?”

“Honestly, I don’t even really remember,” Eren says, sighing heavily. “But probably
something really fucking disgusting. I was a shitbag back then.” He runs his hands over his
face again but keeps his head low to avoid your gaze. “So, because I was so pissed off at
Jean, I told him that I was going to —”

“Ruin me.”

“Yeah,” he squeaks out, just a quiet, barely audible whisper. “Yeah, that was the plan.”
You know this all, of course. Jean told you his version of the story back in Trost — but that
doesn’t make it hurt any less, especially not when you can hear the sincerity and the guilt in
Eren’s voice.

“But that was years ago. When I approached you at the bar a few months ago, it was just
because I still thought you were hot… I didn’t have any ulterior motive until I realized that
you were Jean’s roommate, and then I…” he sighs heavily, scrunching his nose in
embarrassment as he looks over at you. “I remembered all the shit I said about you back
when Jean and I got into our fight, so I decided to use you to piss him off,” Eren says,
cringing. “I wasn’t even sure if he still had feelings for you, or what the deal was between
you and him. I just liked the idea of fucking someone that would hurt Jean.”

You scrunch your nose in disgust and he nods. “I know, I know — it’s really shitty… but then
you asked me to help you with your little plan and I felt like I hit the fucking jackpot,” Eren
says. “I got to fuck you and rub it in Jean’s face, all under the guise of helping you.”

He sighs, “But then we started actually hanging out and I got to know you better and I
realized that you’re actually… kinda cool.”

“Gee, thanks,” you say sarcastically and Eren laughs but you can see him nervously
clenching and unclenching his fists against his thighs as he speaks.

“I’ve never had feelings for anyone before, so I thought that I was still mad about Jean but
then it just hit me one day that hanging out with you wasn’t about Jean anymore,” he laughs
nervously. “I wasn’t going to say anything — really. I talked to Armin and he basically told
me it was a bad idea to tell you, but last night when you ran to Jean… I just — I couldn’t
take it anymore.”

Eren leans forward to cup his face in his hands and you can hear him taking deep breaths
against his palms as he hides his face from you.

“I know that I’ve been a shitty guy,” he says, voice muffled by his hands. “I know you
probably think that I’m a piece of shit… but I just need to tell you how I feel because I don’t
think that Jean is going to be there for you the way I am. And it kills me to imagine you being
with him when I know you and I could be better together.”

Eren finally lifts his head to look at you and you can see that his eyes are red and watery. The
sight makes your heart clench in your chest and your hands twitch at your sides, wanting to
grab him and pull him against your chest.

Eren’s words — especially after your fight with Jean this morning — are hitting you hard.
You can feel your own emotions bubbling up in your throat as your eyes begin to burn with
impending tears. He reaches across the couch to grab at your hands and you let him interlace
your fingers with his, squeezing you tightly.

“I love you,” he says and his voice cracks around his words. You feel like the floor is falling
out from under you as he looks at you, eyes soft and vulnerable. His hands are trembling
slightly as he speaks, and you find it hard to breathe from how quickly your heart is pounding
in your chest.
“I love you,” he repeats. “I’ll do anything to prove to you that I’m the right guy for you, just
tell me what you need — please, I can’t go another day without being yours.”

He lifts one hand to cup your cheek and you let yourself tilt your head into his touch. It's only
when his thumb brushes across your cheek that you realize you're crying.

You watch his eyes soften as he looks at you, gaze scanning your face carefully before he
leans forward. His nose brushes gently against yours and your heart pounds a little harder as
your lips fall open. His lips gently brush against yours as the two of you share air.

You want Eren to grab you. You want him to wrap his arms around your waist and pull you
into his lap. You want him to kiss your lips, your cheeks, your nose, your neck. You want him
to run his fingers through your hair and down your waist. You want him to make you stop
feeling so fucking shitty. You want him to make you feel good.

Having him be this close to you makes you want to squeeze him tight — you want Eren,
you need Eren — everything just hurts so bad.

But you lean back, away from Eren and his lips and the love for you that's radiating off of his
body like a burning inferno, and you frown.

“What did you say about me?” you ask quietly, trying to stabilize your breathing.

He winces, sitting back and letting your fingers slip out of his grasp. “I told you, I don’t
remember —”

“But you must have some idea.”

“I don’t want to repeat it.”

“Eren,” you scold and you watch him swallow thickly before looking down and away. “I
can’t forgive you if I don’t know all the details. It had to have been pretty bad if you and Jean
stopped being friends over what you said.”

He sucks in a sharp breath through clenched teeth and he squeezes his eyes shut tightly. “I
probably said something about how your panties were soaked for me… how I thought you
were a…” he speaks so quietly that you can’t hear him.

“What?”

He does it again.

“Eren, speak up.”

He groans loudly, covering his face in his hands as he says, “I probably called you a... slut or
a bitch or a whore or some shit,” he says, spitting each word like he’s disgusted in himself for
even thinking of it. “I probably told Jean about how I wanted to bend you over the coffee
table and rail you in front of all your friends.”
“Jesus,” you whisper, recoiling from his words. In another context, hearing Eren say these
things might make you feel differently, but knowing that he said these things about you when
he barely knew you makes you uncomfortable. “You said that about me?”

“I know,” he hisses, clenching his hands into fists against his face. “But I was stupid — I
don’t know, I don’t fucking know. I’m not like that anymore!”

You’re not satisfied with Eren’s excuses, if anything, they just make you more upset. “You
were friends with Jean, too… and Connie, right? They didn’t say shit like that.”

“Yeah,” Eren says quickly, running both hands through his hair with a heavy sigh. “It’s just
me and Floch and a few other guys on the team that did. I told you — I don’t talk like that
anymore. Not about you — not about anyone.”

“And what about the group chat?” you ask, voice hoarse.

He looks up at you, eyes wide — scared. “What?”

“The group chat,” you repeat, swallowing back the lump in your throat. “The one where
you… the one with all the naked pictures.”

“What?” he says, and now he looks confused. “There isn’t… there’s not a group chat like
that. Why would you think that?”

“Jean told me you had a group chat.”

Eren doesn’t answer right away. He stares at you for a moment and you can practically see
the gears turning behind his eyes before his brows raise and he says, “Jean’s lying to you.”

“Let me see your phone,” you say, holding your hand out. Eren reaches into his pocket
immediately and goes to set his phone on your palm. “I want to see your messages with
Floch.”

You see his hand waver in hesitation and you quickly wrap your fingers around his phone and
snatch it away from him before he can pull it back.

“What’s your password?” you ask, holding his phone close to your chest so he can’t pull it
away from you. He chews on his bottom lip as his face drains of colour and you’re almost
scared of what you might find.

“Oh-one-three-nine,” he says quietly, watching as you type the numbers and unlock his
phone.

You scroll to his messages and pull down the search bar, typing out your name and then
clicking Search to see what comes up in his message history. Most of the messages that pop
up are between you and Eren from when he’s said your name via text, but you see that your
name was used once in a conversation with Floch.

Who’s that?
 jean’s roommate

Ok lol

fucked her

Oh shit! How’s she?

eh 6/10
she’s a bit of a frigid bitch
but i still made her cum

Nice lol

had her begging for me

made her scream out my name when Jean was next door

Loooool

The conversation ends there and you’re left with a hollow feeling in your gut. You back out
of the conversation and return to the search bar, erasing your name and putting Jean’s
roommate, instead.

This time, several conversations between Eren and Floch show up. You don’t open them right
away and just look at the dates — even though the messages span over the past few months,
you recognize the dates immediately.

“You texted Floch every time we had sex?” you ask, voice trembling.

“It’s not what it looks like,” he says, reaching forward to retrieve his phone but you pull it
close to your chest, quickly scanning over each message.

fucked jean’s roommate again

RAW
9/10
begged me to cum inside of her at the office lol

You feel sick, not even bothering to read Floch’s response as you flick to another message.

fucked jean’s roommate again

7/10
made me pick her up in the middle of the fuckin night
didn’t wanna go round 2

No wonder Floch didn't bother to learn your name when Eren always referred to you as,
Jean's roommate. You flick to another message, thankfully not seeing a rating on this one —
but what you find makes you feel much worse.

jean’s roommate sent me some tasty nudies

remind me next week and I’ll show you
“Did you…” your throat has gone completely dry and you have to swallow thickly to coat it
in moisture before speaking. “Did you show Floch those pictures I sent to you?”

“No!” he says immediately, eyes wide. “I didn’t, I promise!”

You hold up Eren’s phone with a shaky hand. “You told him you would.”

“I didn’t, I promise!” he repeats, leaning forward to rest his hands on you but you flinch away
from him. “Floch was gone for a job that week, so I was going to show him when he got
back, but I didn’t — I promise you! Nobody has seen those pictures but me.”

You look back down at Eren’s phone, returning to the main text screen and you type in /10
into the search bar.

The screen buffers for a second before filling with messages and you feel your heart sink into
your stomach. Sasha told you about Eren and the others rating girls, but seeing it for yourself
is making you feel sick. You see that most of the messages are contained in a group chat
called The Devils of Paradis and you click on it with a shaky hand.

The group chat is made up of several members of the Scouts, including Eren and Floch. You
scroll through a couple of messages of ratings of girls you know from school, growing more
and more repulsed as you read through them. Most of the messages are from Floch and
someone named Zeke, but there are several messages from Eren, too — disgusting things.

You're horrified by what you find. Eren and his friends not only rated the girls that they slept
with, but also talked about the things they did during sex in vicious detail. Eren's messages
aren't quite as vulgar — you'll give him that bit of credit — but he's still sharing personal
things about girls you know, girls you went to school with.

Sweet, innocent girls, just like you — isn't that was Jean told you?

“Eren, what the fuck?” you ask, dropping the phone with disgust. Eren instantly reaches
forward to snatch it back, holding it close against his chest. “So there is a group chat!”

“I can explain!” he assures, eyes wide with panic. “It’s not what you think — there’s no
naked photos of anyone in there. It’s just ratings and we stopped using it a long time ago.”

He unlocks his phone with shaking hands before he holds the screen up for you to look at.
“See? The last time anyone talked in here was over a year ago.”

“Just because you’re not sharing nudes doesn’t mean what you’re doing isn’t disgusting! And
you’re still sending ratings to Floch,” you counter, and Eren shrinks backward.

“Yeah, I was,” he concedes with a heavy sigh. “But I promise, I’m not doing that anymore.
The last message I sent him was months ago.”

You cower away from Eren on the couch until you’re pressed tight against the far armrest,
suddenly feeling like you're in the room with a complete stranger. Your whole body is
shaking as you yell, “What the hell is wrong with you!?”
You sit up from the couch and walk into the kitchen. You can feel your legs trembling with
every step but you need to get away from him, you’re so angry. You clench and unclench
your fists as you try to take slow, calming breaths, but you feel like you’re going to pass out.

You shouldn’t be surprised. Everything that everyone has ever told you about Eren matches
this behaviour. He’s on Sasha’s No Go List. He’s slept with half the school. He lets Floch say
disrespectful shit about the women he hooks up with. Jean told you that Eren was an asshole.

You’ve been in denial of his behaviour for so long. You don’t want to believe that he’s really
like this — a scummy, disgusting fuckboy — but the proof is overwhelming. The Eren you
thought you knew, doesn’t exist. This is the real Eren.

You’re not even mad at Eren — not really. You’re mad at yourself for thinking that you knew
him.

Eren calls out your name and follows after you, but you raise a hand to stop him from getting
too close.

“Stay away from me!” you yell, not even allowing yourself to look at him. “What is wrong
with you?”

“I’m fucked, ok?” You can hear him pacing along the perimeter you’ve set between the two
of you. “I’m really shitty, I know — that’s not me anymore, ok? I promise you, I fucking
swear!”

“Your last text to Floch was from barely three months ago, Eren,” you say, spitting his name
like it’s an insult. “How can you say that you’ve changed?”

“Please, I love you —”

“You can’t just say that like it negates every other shitty thing you’ve done!” you say,
clenching your hands into tight fists at your sides. Eren flinches from your words, eyes
darting down to the ground. “And those were only the messages I was able to find — what if
there’s more you’re hiding from me?”

“I’m not hiding anything,” he pleads. “Come on, please — I need you to believe me.”

“How?” you ask, looking over at him and shaking your head in disbelief. “How do I know
you’re not just pretending you love me just so you can accomplish your original goal — how
do I know that you’re not just trying to ruin me?”

He rubs his eyes with the heel of his hands and slowly starts to approach you. You feel sick
— like you scream at him and throw his stupid bouquet of flowers in the trash — but you
stay still until he’s close enough to touch you.

“Please, baby, I —”

“Don’t call me baby.”

“Sorry, I —” he swallows thickly, holding his hands out shakily like he wants to pull you into
him. They hover at your sides, slowly moving closer toward your arms, but when you curl
away from his touch, he pulls his hands back.

“I know I don’t deserve it, but please… please, let me try to make it up to you. I promise you,
I'm different with you in my life. I'm not the same guy I was three months ago — fuck, I'm
not even the same guy I was two weeks ago!” He runs both hands through his hair, sucking in
a sharp breath. “We can start over? How about that? I can prove it — I’ll show you how
much I love you. Please, just give me one chance.”

”How can you have changed so much so fast? How am I supposed to believe that that Eren
isn’t in there anymore?” you ask, gesturing from the couch where you read the messages to
Eren himself.

Eren gives you a pained shrug. Even he doesn’t know how to answer that.

You swallow thickly, taking in a shaky breath to compose yourself before speaking.
“Everyone warned me about you… everyone. Even you, Eren.”

“I know, I know,” he babbles.

“I thought that they were wrong. You were so nice to me all the time, you got me those
coffees, you held me when I was upset, you —” your voice cracks around your words and
you start to feel those tears that were crowding against your lash line finally spill onto your
cheeks. “Was it all an act?”

“It was, at first,” he says, finally reaching forward to grab your hands. “But things changed
for me after that night in my car… when you first cried about work.”

You look at him with furrowed brows and you feel stupid because part of you wants him to
convince you to forgive him, despite all of the evidence that tells you to throw him away.

"Do you remember that? I picked you up from home and took you out to The Point. You were
crying the whole drive out there and even though you were very clearly upset, you tried
hooking up with me in the car," he says. "But I couldn't — even though that's the reason why
I picked you up. When I saw you like that, all I could think about was how much I wanted to
see you happy again."

"You're acting like that's not the bare fucking minimum," you snap, and he flinches. "Not
hooking up with a girl that's crying? Bra-fucking-vo, Eren."

He nods in understanding but continues. “After that night, I started seeing you differently.
That’s why I told you about the Reeves job — I wanted to get you away from Jean because I
was tired of you bringing him up all the time,” he scoffs, shaking his head, “I thought that
maybe if I got you alone, you'd forget about him and only think about me.”

He pulls your hand against his cheek, leaning into it and taking a long, heavy sigh. “I’m
begging for a chance that I know I don’t deserve. Please, let me show you how serious I am
— let me show you how I feel.”
You swallow thickly, looking up at Eren as he presses your hand to his face. His body is
trembling and he looks so small and sad, despite still towering over you. “Tell me the truth,
Eren,” you say, trying to keep your voice firm. “Did you share any of the pictures I sent to
you?”

“I didn’t,” he says quickly, shaking his head. “I told Floch was going to, but then I didn’t. I
promise you.”

“What about any other girls? Before me?”

“Before you doesn’t matter —”

“It matters to me, Eren.”

He sighs heavily and you can feel his warm breath on your hand. “I… yeah, I showed Floch
some pictures of some other girls.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” he admits. He looks at you and his eyes are lined with tears. His face is
twisted into a painful grimace and you almost feel sorry for him. “I thought it was cool. I
know it’s fucking messed up now… but back then, I didn’t know what I was doing.”

You shake your head in disgust, pulling your hand free from his grasp and Eren takes a
defeated step backward. He laces his fingers together behind his neck, keeping his gaze fixed
on your feet as he takes long, slow breaths.

“But there was no naked pictures group chat, ok?” he says softly. “The one you saw… that
was just for ratings. We didn’t share pics like that.”

“Jean told me that you were going to fuck me and send my nudes to all the other guys in the
group chat.”

“He’s lying to you,” Eren says, and you can see his brows furrowing. “I never said that… and
even if I did — it’s been fucking years! Do you think I’d still have that much of a grudge
against Jean that I’d do something like that? To you?” You cross your arms over your chest
and as Eren raises his head to look up at you, you can see him frowning. “What’s going on
between me and Jean doesn’t involve you. All the shit I said to him that night was just to piss
him off — even if I did say something about a group chat, I wasn’t serious.”

You frown, unsatisfied with his answer but you can’t help but believe him. Despite all of the
evidence, you still want to believe that your Eren is the real Eren.

“What did you and Jean fight about?”

“It’s nothing,” Eren responds quickly, eyes darting away from your face. You can see the way
his entire body stiffens, even his tears seem to stop wavering on the edge of his waterline.

“You have to remember something if the two of you have been fighting for so long.”
“I just said some shit about his parents,” Eren says, waving his hand in dismissal. “I don’t
remember specifics.”

You pause, looking at him curiously. “But what did he say to you?”

“He didn’t say anything.”

“Are you defending him?”

Eren’s eyes dart up to meet yours for a beat but look away again before he speaks. “No... I
just don't want to tell you.”

"Why not?"

He shrugs, still looking away.

You sigh heavily, stepping forward until you can feel the heat from Eren’s body. He keeps his
gaze on the ground but you can see him perk up a little when you inch closer. “I just want to
understand you,” you say, moving your face into Eren’s line of vision.

Eren sighs and closes his eyes, avoiding your stare.

“Eren, I want to forgive you,” you say, brows furrowed. “Against all of my better judgment, I
desperately want to forgive you… The Eren that I’ve known these past few months is a really
good guy and it’s hard for me to believe that you were ever like that,” you sigh, gesturing
vaguely. “I just want to know who the Real Eren is… no more lies, no more schemes… just
honesty.”

He presses the heels of his hands into his eyes and sighs. You watch his throat bobbing as he
swallows and he gives you a quick, curt nod. "Honesty... yeah, I can do that — I want to do
that with you."

"I just don't understand where this is coming from all of a sudden," you admit with a frown.
"You said you didn't want to be in a relationship, so how could you...?"

Eren shrugs, still hiding his face from you as he speaks. "I like being with you. I like who you
are. I like the way you make me feel like I can be better than I am. I like seeing bits of you in
every part of my life... I like you — I don't know. This is all new to me, I'm trying to figure it
out, too."

Both of you are quiet for a long while until you finally hear him speak again. He talks so
quietly that you can hardly hear him, but before you can prompt him to speak up, he clears
his throat and repeats himself. "Do you... have any sort of feelings for me after all the time?"

You swallow thickly and look away. That's a complicated question.

"I feel like I don't know who you are outside of sex," you say quietly. Your body burns in
embarrassment from your admission when you realize the weight of your words.
 It's true... you don't know anything about Eren's personal life. You've never asked him how
things are going, you've never shown an interest in things he likes... you don't even know
how he's doing at his job and you work together!

"I'm sorry, Eren," you say quietly, feeling guilty about the way you've treated him these past
few months when he's been nothing but kind to you. You treated him like an emotional
dumping ground for all of your issues with work and Jean — and then used him for sex when
he was harbouring these secret feelings for you. The thought makes you feel horrible.

“It’s ok… let’s start over,” he says quietly, lowering his hands to rub his palms against his
thighs. “You and me. From the beginning.”

Chapter End Notes

🥰
Thank you all so much for 40k views!! And 1,000 kudos!! It feels like only yesterday
that we hit 30k, so this is absolutely wild to me, thank you all so much

The Eren one-shot is taking me longer than I expected, sorry!! But I will have that out
for you guys one day, eventually.

Bonus Scene:
Finally, A Night Alone - an alternate version of Eren and Reader's last night together
before visiting the Kirstein's (mature content)

Also, I've decided that I'm going to post all of the bonus scenes to AO3 after this fic is
finished. I'm wary about posting it now, just because if someone stumbles across it,
they're going to be pretty heavily spoiled. So, when TBAW finishes, I'll post them all as
a separate collection and order it semi-chronologically. If for some reason, you aren't

🥰
able to read the bonus scenes on Tumblr, you'll be able to see and save them here on
AO3 in November!

Thank you guys again so much for being awesome!! I love you all!! 🥺
 First Date
Chapter Notes

Reader and Jean buying wine together and their first kiss!!
and send them some love!!
🥰💗
A lovely artist on Tumblr named @toxrez was inspired by this story to draw some art of
Please go check it out

cw: Explicit language, mention of canonical character death, coping with loss and grief,
toxic masculinity, less angst than usual(?)

In the morning, you run around town taking care of things in preparation for starting your
new job tomorrow. After walking Eren out last night, you promised him that you would give
him a call when you finished up all of your errands for the day. It’s not until noon that you
finally dial his number.

“Hey, it’s me,” you say when he picks up.

“Hey,” he responds, and even through the phone you can hear him smiling. “Did you finish
everything you needed to do already?”

“Yeah, just leaving the bank now,” you say, standing on the street outside. “When do you
want to meet up?”

“Are you downtown? I can meet you somewhere for lunch.”

“Yeah, I am. Where do you wanna go?”

He hums in thought as you shift your weight from one foot to the other, clutching the phone
with both hands and cupping the receiver around your mouth.

“There’s a little taco place near Reiner’s we could go. I can send you the address.”

“Ok, cool.”

“Cool, I’ll see you soon.”

Things are still a little awkward between the two of you — which you hate, but it’s getting
better.

You’re still confused about what you saw on his phone yesterday, even after sleeping on it —
and his admission about the things he said about you to Jean was like another punch to the
gut. You never suspected that you would be on the receiving end of his fuckboy-treatment. A
part of you idealistically thought that things were different between you and Eren — that you
weren’t like the other people he’s been with.

You realize now that was a stupid and foolish thought.

But you’re desperate to find the Eren that you thought you knew. Your heart really wants to
believe that he’s changed his ways with you, despite your brain screaming at you to run away
from him. You know you’re being stupid to entertain his advances right now, but it’s almost
like you can’t help yourself. It's just so difficult for you to accept the fact that the person
you've grown to be so close to after all these months was actually hiding this secret, horrible
side to himself.

When you get to the restaurant, Eren is already sitting at a table, waving you over.

You bite your lip and look down to hide your grin as you walk over to him. Seeing him still
makes your stomach flip, but you can't tell if it's because you're excited or because you're
nervous.

He looks flustered, like he’s not sure if he should stand and hug you or stay seated, so you
save him the pain by bee-lining to the chair with your head low.

You pull out your chair and settle down in your seat across the table from him. “Hey E—”

“Hi, my name is Eren,” he interrupts, extending a hand out for you to shake. “Nice to meet
you.”

You look over at him quizically as his eyes dart from your face down to his outstretched
hand. Slowly, you reach out to shake his hand, introducing yourself. “Nice to meet you, too.”

“Thanks for coming, I know first dates can be kind of awkward.”

Oh, you see what’s going on now.

“Yeah, totally,” you agree, grinning across the table from him. “Sorry, remind me, did we
meet on Tinder or Bumble or…?”

He hums, pursing his lips in thought. “I think it was a mutual friend, actually.”

“Oh yeah, which one?”

“Erwin Smith,” Eren says with a shrug and you break out into laughter, making him grin.
“Yeah, he said that you were really cool and that we’d get along pretty well — and like, it’s
kind of weird because he’s our boss, but I guess he’s a bit of a matchmaker or something.”

“Oh, is that right?” you ask, covering your mouth with your hand to hide your giggles.

“Yeah, you’d never guess, but I hear he sets up all of his employees with each other,” Eren
teases, eyes glinting with mischief.
“Enough about work,” you say, tsking. “Why don’t you tell me a little about yourself, uh…
Ian?”

“Eren,” he corrects, biting his lip in amusement. “Don’t worry, it’s a tough name.”

The two of you slip into an easy rhythm, pretending like this is the first time you’ve ever met
— like your boss set the two of you up on a date. Eren tells you things that you know, like
that he went to Paradis University and played on the school’s hockey team and how his best
friend is Armin, but then he slips in a few new facts about himself and you find yourself
leaning forward over the table, listening closely.

“So, how much do you wanna know about my dysfunctional family on the first date?” he
asks around a mouthful of tacos and you snort in response. You can tell he's trying to keep
things lighthearted, but he seems nervous and hesitant, even around his smile.

“Uh… I don’t know. Why don’t you start and I’ll let you know when to stop,” you suggest
and he nods.

“Armin — my best friend, Armin — remember, I told you about him?” Eren says, pursing his
lips as you laugh. “He's been begging me to open up more to people for years, so when I told
him you wanted to know more about me, he wouldn't shut up about it.”

“I’m shocked that you’ve already talked to Armin so much about me,” you tease, resting your
chin in your hand as you see Eren’s face flush in embarrassment.

“He’s helping me,” Eren explains quickly. “I’ve never done this before.”

“Done what?”

He gestures vaguely between the two of you. “Gone on a date.”

Now, it’s your turn to feel embarrassed. “Really? This is your first date?”

Eren nods, ducking his head to pick at the pieces of tomato that fell from his last taco. “Yeah,
well… anyway,” he says dismissively. “Armin —”

“Your best friend, Armin?”

“Yes, that’s the one,” he says, eyes crinkling with his smile as he looks up at you. “He gets on
my case about not opening up to people, so I’m going to try it out.”

You nod, pursing your lips as you focus on what he’s about to say next. You watch Eren take
a slow, shaky breath, and you reach a hand across the table to rest on his forearm. You hope
that the gesture is comforting as he steels himself for what he’s about to say next.

“My family is pretty fucked up,” he starts, and you cringe a little from the harshness of his
words, but he continues. “My dad was a doctor and he spent a lot of time traveling between
Paradis and Marley, so my mom and I were used to him not being around much.”
Eren fiddles with the straw of his drink with one hand, keeping his eyes low. “When I was in
high school, my mom spent the night at the hospital after, what was supposed to be, a routine
surgery… but she didn’t make it through the night.”

Your eyebrows raise in shock and you give Eren a gentle squeeze on the arm. “Oh my God,
I’m really sorry to hear that.”

“Yeah, we were really close,” Eren says, coughing to clear his throat. “She used to always
treat me like a little kid and I hated it… I regret treating her the way I did when I was
growing up, I feel like I took her kindness for granted.”

Eren’s sudden vulnerability has your eyes widening in surprise and you gently stroke his arm
with your hand. He clasps his other hand over yours, giving you a gentle squeeze before he
continues.

“It was really hard, especially with Dad being gone all the time, so I relied on Armin and
Jean to help get me through it,” he explains, swallowing thickly. “I stayed with them until I
was able to live in the dorms at university because after my mom passed, my dad moved to
Marley to stay with… his other family.”

You furrow your brows in confusion but say nothing.

“Turns out, every time he went to Marley, he was staying with his other wife and kid,” Eren
explains with a scoff. “So, that was fucked to find out. He had a whole other life there that he
was keeping secret from me and Mom.”

“Holy shit, no kidding,” you say softly.

“I didn’t end up meeting them until once I started playing for the Scouts. After one of our
matches in Marley, my brother found me and we kinda bonded over some shit.”

Eren looks up from his plate to meet your gaze for a beat before immediately lowering it
again. He takes in a slow, steady breath, eyes still low. "Sorry... this is really hard. I've never
talked about this with anyone before."

"It's ok, Eren," you assure him, "you don't have to tell me anything."

"But I want to," he says, jaw tightening. "You said you feel like you don't know who I am, so
I want to share myself with you... but it's just hard."

He sighs heavily and gives your hand another squeeze before he continues. "After we
reconnected, Zeke and I — my bother — got really close. I felt like he was the only person
that I could really relate to.” He shrugs and offers a small, half-hearted laugh. “I still had
Armin and Jean and the others, but I never felt like they really understood what I was going
through after my mom died… I just felt so lonely all the time and Zeke helped a lot… but I
ended up getting all wrapped up in his bullshit.”

Eren leans forward against the table, his voice dropping to a hush. “Zeke is fucked. He feels
like women are just meant to be used and that men are like… superior, or something,” he
whispers, like he’s ashamed to be saying any of this out loud.

“He’s the reason why we all made that stupid group chat,” he scoffs, nodding down toward
his phone on the table. “He’s the reason why Floch and I talk the way we do. Zeke put all
these ideas into our head about how to be real men and because he was older than us and we
respected him, we let him influence us.”

Eren sighs, “Zeke is smart — really smart. He knows how to talk to people and how to get in
their heads. When we were stupid kids and he was telling us that girls acted a certain way
because of —” Eren waves his hand vaguely, “— whatever bullshit… we believed him. He
taught us how to meet girls, what to say to get them to sleep with us, how to treat them after
to make sure they left us alone.”

Eren looks back down at the table, leaning back. “This is going to sound stupid, but when I
was sleeping around with a bunch of girls, it made me feel less lonely. It felt good to have
someone want me like that and to just forget about all the shit going on by spending the night
with someone... and like —” he gestures vaguely to his chest, "— it made things hurt a little
less."

"Did you ever talk to anyone about it? Like your friends or like... a therapist?"

You're expecting Eren to blow off your comment, but he doesn't. "Armin made me go to
counselling, actually. I only went once. But talking to her just made me feel really shitty, so I
stopped going."

Eren looks really embarrassed to be admitting this all to you. You can see the dark flush on
his cheeks and the way his eyes have been fixed on his own hands as he fiddles with his
rings. “I knew Zeke was shitty but I never really realized how shitty I was acting, too, until
you said something about it. In my head, I was never quite as bad as him, even though we
were doing the same thing.”

“Did Jean know?” you ask quietly, and Eren pauses. “Or Armin? Did either of them realize
what was going on with you and Zeke, or did they just think…?”

“I don’t know what they thought,” Eren shrugs. “They were my best friends, but I felt like I
couldn't talk to them anymore once I started hanging out with Zeke.”

“What happened after that?”

Eren shrugs, finally looking up at you with a small smile before he looks back down at his
hands. “I thought we were just saying shit — it didn’t mean anything, it was just something
to say… I didn’t realize how hurtful I was being.” You look at him skeptically and even with
his eyes fixed on his hands, you can see his blush darken. “I know — it sounds really stupid,
but I’m being honest with you. One night when I was staying over at Zeke’s, one of the girls
he was sleeping with came by asking for him and I saw first-hand how he treated her and…”
Eren makes a face and shakes his head. “It was disgusting.”

“Do you still talk to Zeke?”

“No, I stopped talking to him shortly after that,” Eren says, and he pulls back and crosses his
arms over his chest. He looks at you from across the table with a huff and despite his relaxed
demeanor, you can tell he’s still nervous. “I realized that I didn’t want to be in my thirties,
hooking up with eighteen-year-old girls like Zeke was… I don’t know, it wasn’t like I wanted
to settle down or anything, but I just started to feel like all the stuff Zeke and I were doing
was no better than the shit my dad did to our moms.”

You nod in understanding, leaning back into your chair as well. “Do you still talk to your
dad?” you ask and Eren shakes his head.

“He's dead to me,” Eren says, cold and emotionless. "I haven't spoken with him since he left
for Marley after my mom died."

Eren’s voice wavers a little and his eyes dart down to his plate. You watch his throat bobbing
as he swallows thickly and the tendons in his forearms flexing. “He bought me a condo in the
city, but I haven’t heard from him since.”

He sighs heavily, brushing back the fallen strands of hair in his face before he looks up at you
again. “After cutting things off with Zeke, I started hanging out with Armin again, but I
fucked up too much with Jean for him to ever want anything to do with me. So, I stayed
friends with Floch and the others from hockey longer than I should've.”

“And now?”

“I’m only talking to Floch because we were working that job together. Now that we’re back
from Trost, I don’t really have a reason to keep in touch,” Eren scoffs. “Since grad, I’ve been
trying to stay close with Armin as much as I can, but he works a lot… and I’ve been seeing
you.”

You scrunch your nose in embarrassment, ducking your head low as Eren smiles at you.

“Both of you are positive influences in my life, I think.” Eren rests his elbows on the table
and leans forward, you can feel his eyes on you, even though you’re facing away from him.
“My friendship with Floch is complicated and I know he brings out a bad side in me… but
I’m phasing him out.”

“So, you’re not going to send him ratings of my performance in bed anymore?”

Eren laughs. “I haven’t for a while, but if you’re curious, you’d be a ten every time.”

“That’s not what I saw on your phone,” you tease, finally looking up at him. "That six is
going to haunt me."

“I didn’t want him to steal you away from me,” Eren winks. “Had to downplay you a little
bit.”

You roll your eyes but you’re struggling to fight back a grin. “Ok, and the nudes?”

“My eyes only,” he says, raising his hands up in defeat. “But after yesterday, I deleted them. I
know you probably felt uncomfortable with me having them after what you saw, so I just got
rid of them.”

You’re quiet for a moment, but then you nod. “Thank you, Eren.”

Eren breathes out a tense sigh of relief and you can’t entirely tell if he’s joking or being
genuine. You fiddle with your plate as you purse your lips in thought — this feels too easy.

You were mad at Eren — really mad — but now after talking with him, it seems like
everything is fine again. He explained himself, apologized for the way he acted, and is
promising to do better… but what’s the catch? Are you really just going to take his word for
it and forgive him after the way he betrayed your trust? After you saw the disgusting
behaviour that he's capable of?

“How was that?” Eren asks, snapping you out of your thoughts. “Too much?”

“No, that was fine,” you say, smiling at him from across the table. “I was expecting you to
tell me that you had killed someone.”

He laughs, “No, not yet.”

“Yet?” you repeat in mock outrage and the two of you break out in laughter.

As the two of you finish your tacos, the conversation becomes more lighthearted and fun.
You tell Eren little tidbits of your life before Paradis and he tells you about what things were
like for him growing up.

“Armin’s really into watching anime, so I got roped into watching stuff with him when we
were kids,” Eren explains as you chew around a mouthful of food. “There’s this one show
that he got me really hooked on though, it’s the Gundam series.”

“Is that the one with the giant robots? Like transformers?” you ask after swallowing.

“Uh, kind of,” Eren says, cringing. “Not really, actually. Transformers are like aliens, so the
robots are sentient, while Gundams are mobile mech suits that are controlled by people.”

“Oh, yes, of course,” you say feigning embarrassment as you watch Eren’s cheeks turn red.
“What do you like about them?”

“I just think it’s cool,” he says with a shrug. “Like, imagine being able to control a giant with
just your mind, and being able to help protect your friends and family,” he shrugs again,
sheepishly. “I just think it’s really cool.”

“It is cool,” you assure, smiling at him fondly. “Do you build the little models too?”

“Uh, yeah,” he says, cringing in embarrassment as he looks down at his plate. “I’ve been
building models since high school. I have, kind of, like… a small collection of them, back at
my condo. I get most of them from a local game store in the city, but all the really cool ones I
order directly from a place in Hizaru.”
You have to bite your lip hard to hide your grin as you watch Eren fluster in front of you.
“That’s really cool, don’t be embarrassed.”

“I’m not embarrassed,” Eren scoffs but his face has completely changed colour. “I know it’s
cool, it’s really fucking cool, actually.”

This time, you can’t contain your grin as it breaks out across your face. “I’d love to see them
sometime — the ones you’ve built.”

You can tell Eren is having a hard time maintaining his cool-guy facade as his face gets
redder and redder. You’ve never seen him get flustered like this before and it’s actually really
cute. He’s awkwardly fiddling with the rings on his fingers as he keeps his eyes low,
struggling to compose himself after your gentle teasing.

“I don’t know what kind of a guy you think I am, but I’m not going to take you home after
the first date,” he says after clearing his throat, looking up at you with a playful smile.

“Date number two then?” you offer, eyebrow raised.

“You think there’s gonna be a second date?” he challenges, the darkness on his cheeks slowly
fading away. “Wow, we’re not even done with the first one yet and you already want to see
me again.”

You laugh, reaching forward to rest your hand on his across the table. This is the Eren that
you know. Not the gross, misogynistic, disrespectful guy from those messages with Floch.
You believe his story about being negatively influenced by his brother, and you believe that
he’s changed for the better.

But you’re still waiting for the other shoe to drop — for him to disappoint you.

He smiles softly back at you, interlacing his fingers with yours and giving your hand a gentle
squeeze. “Do you have any other plans for the rest of the day?” he asks.

“Nope,” you say, popping your lips. “No plans today.”

“Wanna go for a walk after this?” he asks and you nod in response.

***

Eren pays for lunch for both of you before leading you downtown to the park by the ocean.
The two of you maintain your easy rhythm and silly banter during the walk, but Eren keeps
his hands stuffed in his pockets the whole time.

“Armin and I used to come here a lot together,” he explains, leading you down the path to the
water. “He’s been obsessed with the ocean ever since we were kids, so he always likes to do
this walk along the seawall.”

“I’ve actually never been here before,” you admit, bumping him with your elbow as the two
of you walk side-by-side.
“What? Really?” Eren asks, looking down at you in shock. “You’re not from here, right?”

“No, I just moved for school.”

“This is like, the number one most iconic tourist spot in the city, and you’ve never been
here?”

You just shake your head in response.

“Wow, well… do you wanna walk the whole thing? It takes a couple of hours, but it’s totally
worth it.”

“Yeah, sure,” you say, smiling up at him. “I told you, I don’t have any other plans today.”

He grins down at you before turning forward again to lead you down the path, explaining to
you the history behind the wall as you walk together. The seawall is a long, stone wall built
around the perimeter of the park to protect the shore from erosion caused by the ocean water.
Along the path, you get the opportunity to view different angles of the city as Eren guides
you along.

Just like he said, the seawall is an iconic tourist spot, so even on a Monday afternoon, it’s
busy with people. You get so lost in the sights that Eren has to tug you out of the way from
other people trying to walk past, pulling you close against his chest protectively. Even though
you’re supposed to be pretending like this is your first date — and for the most part, the two
of you are doing a good job — these small moments of physical intimacy make you want to
grab on to him and never let go.

After walking for an hour or so, you come across a bench off the trail and near the water, so
the two of you decide to take a break. Eren sits next to you, slinging his arm over the back of
your seat as the two of you watch the waves lick the shore.

“What do you think so far?” he asks, looking out at the ocean.

“Really cool,” you respond, looking up at him with a grin. “I’m having a lot of fun with you
today.”

“Wow, easy date,” he whistles, smiling. “I just took you out for food and a walk.”

Eren turns to look over at you and you’re already smiling up at him, looking at him happily.
Being with Eren like this has your heart fluttering in your chest. Spending time with him like
this has you wishing you could stay like this forever — walking along the seawall and eating
tacos with Eren Jaeger.

You see a glint in his eyes before his gaze dips down to your mouth and he rolls his tongue
against his lower lip. You feel your breath hitch in your throat as the two of you lean into one
another and you’re consumed in the thick scent of his vanilla cologne. You can almost feel
the warmth of his breath on your face — but then you remember the text messages you saw
on Eren's phone and you violently pull back.
“Is everything ok?” he asks, blinking down at you as you scootch away from him on the
bench.

"Sorry, I —" you shake your head, as if trying to chase away the memory of what you saw.
"Eren, I'm confused."

He exhales slowly through clenched teeth, removing his arm from the back of the bench and
clasping his hands together in his lap. Despite your best efforts to enjoy this moment with
Eren and the vulnerability he's shown today, you find yourself wondering about what intimate
details of your relationship his gross friends know about. What if Eren did show Floch your
nudes? The thought makes you sick.

"Tell me what you're thinking," he says, and you squirm a little in your seat.

"I'm having a hard time forgetting the things I saw."

"I don't expect you to," he says, and you turn to look at him in surprise. "I'm trying to be
better, but I know we can't just pretend like that past didn't happen. I just really hope you can
find a way to forgive me."

You cross your arms over your chest, pursing your lips in thought. "Ok, so, what are you
doing to be better?"

Even from the corner of your eye, you can see him grinning. "I'm so glad you asked — I
actually got Armin to help me with this."

You turn to look over at him as he pulls his phone out from the pocket of his pants. He scrolls
through some things on his phone before pulling up a text conversation with, likely Armin,
and then he looks back up at you. "After I left last night, I spent the entire night talking with
Armin and he helped me list out all the bad things I've done in my past and I'm just going to
stop doing them — right now — no excuses."

He gestures to his phone with his free hand, eyes darting back down to read off of the screen.
"No more disparaging comments about women, no more rating sexual encounters, no more
sharing personal photos with other people." He looks back up at you, just to make sure you're
listening, before continuing. "No more using people to fill a void in my own life, no more
ghosting people, no more keeping secrets, no more lies."

"You needed Armin to help you come up with this list?" you ask, brow arched.

Eren chuckles, embarrassed. "Yeah... he also helped me come up with a list of things I should
do more."

You nod for him to continue and he smiles at you. Eren's entire face softens when he looks at
you and you immediately feel a flood of heat blooming in your cheeks. You swallow thickly
and turn your face away from him, shutting your eyes and trying to will your heart to calm
down.
"I have to be better at communicating my feelings and taking accountability for my actions. I
need to work on it every day, just like exercising. And I need to be more comfortable being
vulnerable with people that are important to me."

"That all sounds really great, Eren," you say, turning back to face him when you hear him
putting his phone back in his pocket. "But saying you're going to do these things and actually
doing these things are completely different."

"Yeah, it's like the PIP."

You scrunch your nose at him. "What?"

He smiles. "Armin helped make me a roadmap to success by telling me everything I need to

work on. As long as I follow his advice — and stick with it — I'll be good."

"Yeah, and that worked out really well for me."

Eren crinkles his nose, eyes darting down to his lap.

"I think you probably still need to go to therapy," you say and he nods.

"Yeah, and I will... maybe. But right now, I'm going to try this."

You rub your eyes with your hands, taking a deep, heavy sigh.

Eren is saying exactly what you want to hear. You should be happy and excited to know that
he's putting so much effort into changing, but you still can't shake that bad taste off of your
tongue.

"Everything with you just feels so sudden." You turn back to look at the ocean, watching the
waves crashing into the shore. "Our relationship — or whatever you want to call it — was so
sudden. Just sex, all the time. And then you're in love with me, seemingly out of nowhere...
and now you're telling me that you've suddenly changed from the person you were in those
text messages from literally three months ago."

"I know, it sounds fucking crazy," he laughs. "Trust me, when I saw you at the bar — or even
at that party — I didn't expect this would happen."

You can't help but laugh, but your heart twists in your chest. It's so hard to separate the Eren
you saw on his phone from this Eren that's trying so hard and looking at you with so much
hope in his eyes.

"I know that it might take a while for you to forgive me... if you ever do," he says. "And I
want you to know that even if you don't, I'm committed to being better."

"God, did Armin write up a script for you to recite?" you ask with a chuckle. "This all feels
so rehearsed."

He laughs, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "Kind of, yeah... I'm not very good at
talking about this kind of thing — it's not something I've ever done before."
"I don't want to be stupid," you admit quietly. "I'm afraid that I'm going to forgive you and
give you this chance and then find out that nothing's changed and that you were lying to me
this whole time."

He sighs heavily. "Yeah, I know. But we’re starting over, right?” he hums. “We can take
things slow — I'm happy just hanging out with you and talking like this. There's no pressure
to forgive me or whatever, ok? I just like being with you."

The two of you sit on the bench quietly for a long time, listening to the bustle of the people
walking along the trail behind you and the soft sound of the waves on the shore. Thanks to
the breeze, you can smell Eren's vanilla cologne and it makes you relax into your seat.

You've always felt safe with Eren. You wish you never saw those messages on his phone
because now, you're not sure if you can ever forget them. Despite everything that Eren's
doing to change and be better, how can you forgive him for the things he said?

Eren breaks the silence by asking, “Do you still want to be with him?” and you swallow back
the sudden lump in your throat.

“Yes... I’ve always wanted Jean.”

“In the past,” Eren says, voice strained. “But what about now?”

You want to respond but the words get caught in your throat. Instead, you squeeze your hands
into fists and press them into your thighs.

"Eren, even if I decide that I don't want to be with Jean... that doesn't mean that I want to be
with you."

"Ouch, shit," he hisses, laughing. He's trying to pretend like your words don't hurt him, but
you know they do. "Well, whatever you decide, I want you to be happy." You can hardly hear
him over the crashing of the waves and you think it’s intentional — he’s trying to hide the
way his voice cracks when he speaks.

"I'm sorry," you say, but he doesn't say anything in response.

After another long period of silence, Eren clears his throat. “So, how’s everything going with
the stress leave.”

“It’s barely been a day.”

“I know, I know… but there’s probably been a lot on your mind since Petra talked to you on
Friday.”

“Yeah,” you admit. “I feel like a huge failure.”

“You’re not.”

“I know, but I feel like I am,” you insist, biting your lip. “Before he left for Marley, I talked
with Reiner a bit about it… he told me he put in his two-week notice.”
“Oh, shit,” Eren says, impressed. “Good for him, I know he was having a hard time, too.”

“He said he’s going to go traveling in Hizaru once he’s done at Titan.”

“Like some Eat, Pray, Love bullshit?”

You laugh, “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Fuckin’ guy,” Eren laughs. “Good for him.”

You hesitate before continuing, “He asked me if I wanted to go with him.”

“Oh, shit,” Eren says, surprised.

“I don’t know if I will. A part of me still wants to go back to Titan, but I think I’ll end up
getting fired regardless… so maybe I just won’t come back after stress leave.”

Eren doesn’t say anything in response, just plays with his rings as he keeps his hands in his
lap, listening to you closely. You keep your eyes down as you speak, feeling nervous about
admitting this out loud to someone for the first time.

“Part of me wants to go — like, really, wants to go. I feel like I fucked up so much shit here
that I just want to run away."

“For how long?” Eren asks after a beat of consideration.

“I don’t know,” you say dismissively. “I don’t even know if Reiner was being serious when
he invited me, it might’ve just been a courtesy thing. I’m trying not to think about it too
much.”

“It might help,” Eren says, and you finally look up to face him. “Get away from everyone and
figure yourself out — what you want to do, who you want to be…”

“Eat, Pray, Love bullshit,” you suggest and he smiles.

***

When Eren takes you home, you let him give you a hug before he leaves. He wraps his arms
tightly around your shoulders as you grip the back of his shirt in your fists. You clench your
eyes shut and try to remember all of the moments you spent with Eren these past few months,
trying not to taint those memories with the knowledge of his messages. He presses his face
into your neck and squeezes you so tightly that when he pulls away, you feel like he’s
reshaped you.

You take a long shower to help decompress after your date, trying to figure out all the
thoughts that are jumbled up inside of your head.

If things were different, it would be easy. You and Eren could give it a shot — a real shot —
and maybe you’d fall in love with him, too. If he never said those nasty things about you and
if he never sent those messages to Floch then maybe — maybe — you could choose him.
But you love Jean — you love him so much it hurts. You want to be with Jean — you’ve
always wanted to be with Jean. You’ve had feelings for him ever since you first met and no
matter what happens, you can’t move on from him.

With a huff you reach out to shut off the showerhead, standing in the shower with water
dripping off your body as you hang your head between your shoulders.

Why did this all have to be so confusing? You should’ve never started sleeping with Eren to
make Jean jealous — it would’ve been so much easier if you had just told Jean how you felt.

You step out of the shower and grab a towel to dry yourself off, skin burning from the heat of
the water. You look over on the counter to your phone and see it lit up with notifications from
Eren and Jean.

You look at Eren’s messages first.

hey, i had a lot of fun with you today :)

i hope you have a really good day at work tmo

Thanks Eren :)

i’ll have to come by and visit sometime :)

maybe i can come by tomorrow for lunch?

Cute
I like it :)

cool :)
i’ll see you tomorrow

Cool it with the smiley faces mister

im jus flirtin :)

You feel giddy after your brief conversation with Eren. Your stomach is doing flips and you
can feel your face burning around your uncontrollable grin. You feel silly — you’re acting
like this is the first time you’ve ever gone out with Eren before.

You open the messages from Jean, next.

Heard you’re not coming in to work for a while.

Hope everything is ok.
I really want to talk.
Please.

You’ve been avoiding Jean for long enough, you think. You left Sunday morning and haven’t
spoken to him since. Ignoring his messages isn’t going to do anything to help solve things
between you two, you know that. So, you respond.

Ok, we can talk

Shortly after sending a response to Jean, your phone lights up in your hand with a goofy
picture of the two of you together — he’s calling you.

Your first instinct is to hang up and throw your phone across the room, but instead, you find
yourself answering it and bringing the phone up to your ear as your heart sinks into your
stomach.

“Hello, who is it?” you say, voice shaky, asking as if Jean isn’t one of your favourite contacts.

“Hey, it’s Jean,” he says and his voice is quiet like he’s whispering. You know he’s probably
still at work right now. “How are you doing?”

“I’m good,” you say, answering on autopilot. “How are you?”

“I… ok, I guess,” he says but his voice is wary. “Where are you?”

“I’m housesitting for Reiner,” you explain and you swear you can hear him breathe out a sigh
of relief. “He’s on vacation in Marley this week, so I’m looking after the place for him while
he’s gone.”

“Yeah, ok,” Jean says, swallowing loudly over the phone. “He mentioned that he was going
back for a bit. I didn’t realize that was so soon.”

“Yeah,” you hum, fingers tapping anxiously against your thigh. “Do you want to talk right
now?” you ask, feeling uncertain.

“No, I want to see you in person,” he says firmly. “I just… I just wanted to hear your voice,
make sure you’re ok.”

“I’m ok,” you assure him, but your voice cracks when you speak.

“Can I see you? Soon?”

The idea makes your heart sink into your stomach. You’re not sure if you’re ready to see Jean
again but you say, “Yeah, ok.”

“Tonight?”

“Um… ok.”

“Do you want me to come over after work?”

“Yeah, ok.”

“Ok.”

You’re both quiet for a while, just listening to the sounds of each other breathing over the
receiver of the phone.

“I gotta go,” he says and you nod quickly in response.

“Yeah, yeah, of course. I’ll see you later.”

After hanging up, you frown at your phone, feeling a pool of dread building in your stomach.
You have no idea how this conversation is going to go and you’re so scared, you’re
trembling. Taking a deep breath, you settle down on Reiner’s bed as you dig through your
bag for some clean clothes to wear for your talk with Jean.

***

Jean breathes a heavy sigh of relief after the two of you hang up. It’s so nice to hear your
voice again.

You didn’t sound mad on the phone, but Jean’s not stupid. There’s no way you’ve already
forgiven him for how he acted in such a short period of time. The conversation with you
tonight is going to be awkward, but he’s optimistic that he can talk his way through it.

He texts the group chat right away with the good news.

Gonna go see her after work today.

Wish me luck.

Dr. Sash: what are you going to say???

I don’t know, I’ll figure something out.

Dr. Sash: you gonna tell her you’re in love with her
Dr. Sash: or you gonna push her away even more
Dr. Sash: do you need help crafting an epic apology?
Dr. Sash: a grand romantic gesture to sweep her off her feet?

I don't need your help.

I’m going to try to salvage our friendship.
I just want to be friends.

Connie Small Cock: jezuz

Dr. Sash: arghhh jean!!

Dr. Sash: you’re screwing yourself so hard right now
Dr. Sash: this girl loves you……. LOVES YOU!!!
Dr. Sash: and you love her!!!

Connie Small Cock: dude

Connie Small Cock: stop running away from a good thing
Connie Small Cock: if u don’t lock her down ur gonna spend the rest of ur life regretting it
Connie Small Cock: i feel like things w u and her are diff than the other girls u dated before

Dr. Sash: ^^^^^

Dr. Sash: don’t be stupid jeanie!!!
Jean rolls his eyes and puts his phone away in his pocket. He doesn’t need their opinions or
their half-baked ideas of how to fix things with you. You’re one of his closest friends, he
knows how to talk to you.

He doesn’t know what he’s going to say… but he’ll figure something out.

Hange sent out an email to the whole office this morning, informing the office that Reiner
had put in his two-week notice and was leaving Titan to go travel Hizaru. Jean wasn’t
surprised when he saw the message — but it made him feel weird.

Petra told Jean that the only reason he wasn’t on the PIP with you and Reiner was because he
was a Kirstein. Erwin could see the way Jean’s last name could open doors and wanted to
leverage that power, much to Jean’s chagrin, despite the fact that Jean wasn't a good technical
fit for the company.

He should’ve known from the way Erwin introduced him as Mr. Kirstein, as if it didn’t even
matter what his first name was. Jean was so excited about the attention and the special
treatment — he didn’t think to question it. Now that the illusion has been shattered, it’s all he
can think of.

He didn’t realize it at the time, but all those special projects and important meetings that Jean
was getting invited to were hostile takeovers. Erwin was using the influence of Jean’s family
name to get his foot in the door for meetings with shareholders of important companies.
Wining and dining them until they gave Titan their business because working with a Kirstein
was worth more than gold — even if it was just Jean.

There’s nothing Jean wants more than to carve his own path and to succeed by his skills
alone, but his family name haunts him like a curse.

Just another painful reminder that he’ll always be the piece of shit that he’s trying so hard to
run away from.

Jean sighs heavily, running his hands across his face as he groans in frustration. He has a lot
of work to take care of tonight before he can see you. Not that he would ever blame you, but
since you and Reiner are gone and the job’s not done yet, Jean has to pick up the slack.

Petra’s been running around the office and sending Jean frantic messages in an effort to make
sure everything’s taken care of, and it’s got him all stressed out and anxious.

The tasks he’s taking over from you and Reiner are hard. They’re like nothing he’s ever
worked on before. He remembers reviewing some of your guys’ work at Trost, but reviewing
and doing are completely different beasts. When Jean opens up a blank spreadsheet and reads
the procedure, he feels like he’s reading a foreign language.

Just then, a message pops up in his work messenger app. Jean feels his blood run cold as he
clicks open the message.

Erwin Smith: Jean, please come to my office immediately.

He swallows thickly, running both hands through his hair as he releases a slow, shaky breath.
Fuck, what could this be about?

Jean doesn’t think to respond, he just instantly stands up from his seat and starts marching
towards Erwin’s corner office. Is this about the Reeves job? Is this about you? He has no idea
but he’s breaking out into a cold sweat and can feel it coating the back of his dress shirt.

“You asked to see me, sir?” he says, gently knocking on Erwin’s half-open door.

Erwin looks up from his desk, eyebrows raised, as if he wasn’t expecting Jean to come by,
but beckons him in with his hand. “Please, shut the door behind you.”

Jean does as asked, clenching his hands into tight fists as he walks the length of Erwin’s
office until he’s seated in one of the chairs in front of his desks. He sits ramrod straight, fists
pressed hard into his thighs as he tries to keep his face as neutral as possible.

“I’m sorry to bother you, Jean, I know you’re probably busy with work,” Erwin says, resting
both hands on his desk and clasping them together. “Do you know what time of year it is?”

“Um, autumn?” Jean says lamely.

Erwin smiles but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “It’s year-end. Time for our annual
performance reviews.”

“Oh, I thought juniors didn’t have to do one,” Jean says trying to smile but it feels on his face
more like a grimace. “Petra said that since we only got hired a few months ago, there was no
need.”

“Typically, yes,” Erwin says, reclining back against his chair, moving his clasped hands to his
lap. “You’re an unusual case, however.”

“Oh?”

“Jean, you have displayed some exemplary behaviour these past few months. You’ve been
such a valuable asset to the Titan team and have aided in many successful business
partnerships.”

Jean feels his heart sink into his stomach as Erwin speaks — he has a feeling he knows where
this is going.

“We generally don’t offer promotions to junior staff until they have completed a full year, but
I think you have a lot of potential and I don’t want to stunt your growth here at Titan.” This
time, Erwin’s eyes crinkle with his smile. “I’d like to officially congratulate you on your
promotion as Senior Accountant, Jean Kirstein.”

Jean swallows thickly, ducking his head down into his chest. “Thank you, sir.” He listens
with his head low as Erwin continues to sing his praises.

False praises.
Jean knows everything Erwin is saying is a lie. It’s just like Petra said, Erwin is trying to push
Jean through to management as quickly as possible, regardless of his actual performance.
Does Erwin think he’s stupid? He's not fooling anyone.

Sitting here with his head down in Erwin's office, Jean wonders if anything he’s ever
accomplished has been the result of his own hard work or if it’s all tied back to his family
name somehow. He feels sick.

“Sir, I —” Jean surprises himself when he lifts his head to speak. Erwin pauses his
monologue immediately and looks at Jean with raised eyebrows. “I don’t think I deserve this
promotion.”

Erwin laughs. “Jean, you’ve put in a lot of hard work these past few months.”

“I know what you’re doing,” Jean says, voice steady despite his thundering heartbeat. “I
know you’re just pushing me along. I don’t deserve this.”

Erwin pauses, pressing his lips into a thin line as he leans forward on his desk. His eyes
narrow as he regards Jean carefully and Jean immediately regrets opening his mouth. Just as
Jean’s about to apologize, Erwin speaks.

“Don’t be foolish, Jean,” he tsks, gaze hard. “You’re smart. You know that succeeding in
business has nothing to do with your technical skills and everything to do with who you
know. And it just so happens that you know someone who can open every door for you.”

Jean frowns, clenching his teeth as Erwin’s gaze holds him still.

“You will take this promotion and the sizable pay raise. You will come to work and sit in on
meetings with me and the other managers. Titan will bring you through the ranks, regardless
of how poor your performance is. And you will bring more business into this company.

“As I said, you are a valuable asset to this company. If you want to be stupid and throw away
your privilege, then be my guest.” Erwin smiles again, but his eyes are still narrowed on
Jean’s face. “But I assure you, you will find that many, many doors that were once open will
now be slammed shut in your face.”

“Sir, are you —”

Erwin silences him with just a look and Jean bites his tongue to stop from saying anything
more, shifting his gaze down into his lap as Erwin keeps his unwavering stare on his face.

“Do you understand, Jean?” Erwin presses and Jean nods in response. “Good.”

“Can I leave now?” Jean asks quietly, still avoiding Erwin’s gaze. “I have a lot of work I need
to finish up for the Reeves job.”

Erwin makes a sound, something like a snort that draws Jean’s attention up to his face.
“You’re not still doing busywork for that file, are you?”

“Busywork, sir?” Jean asks, feeling more dread pool in his stomach.
“I told Petra to assign you mundane tasks, just to keep up appearances.” Erwin cracks his
knuckles as he looks over at Jean, his face blank. “Don’t worry about pretending to do work
anymore, Jean — you can head home for the day.”

Jean’s mouth feels dry and he sucks his cheeks between his teeth as he gives Erwin a curt
nod. “Thank you, sir.”

Fuck.
 Visitor
Chapter Notes

Short chapter this week, sorry folks!

cw: Explicit language, sexual content, angst.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

It’s late when Jean buzzes to be let in — really late. Despite Erwin’s dismissal, he tried to
keep working on the Reeves job to help Petra, but he wasn’t able to make much progress and
it was only serving to further demoralize him.

When you open the door to let him into Reiner’s apartment, he all but collapses into the
couch.

“I’m sorry to keep you waiting,” he says with a heavy sigh, throwing his head over the back
of the couch and rubbing at his eyes with his hands. “I had to get a bunch of shit done before
I could leave.”

“I’m sorry,” you say, small and sheepish, and Jean lifts his head to look over at you with
pursed lips.

“It’s not your fault, don’t be sorry.”

You don’t seem convinced but you go over to sit next to him on the couch, tucking your feet
under yourself as you turn to face him. Jean looks over at you quietly while he tugs at his tie,
loosening it from around his throat and unbuttoning the top few buttons.

“So,” he says, and he watches your gaze lift from his chest to his face.

“So,” you repeat, clasping your hands together and pressing them firmly against your thighs.
“You wanted to see me?”

“Yeah, I did,” he agrees, this time rubbing his hand across his mouth.

He looks at you carefully for a moment. You’re wearing a cute little summery dress that's
riding up your thighs from the way you’re sitting on the couch. You look nervous, but not
scared. Not sad. Not angry. Just… nervous.

“How are things?” he asks, fiddling with his hands in his lap awkwardly.

“I got a part-time job,” you offer with a shrug and Jean tilts his head in interest. “I’m working
at Professor Levi’s tea shop downtown.”
“Did you quit Titan?” he asks, and the excitement in his voice is evident, but you shake your
head.

“No, I’m just on stress leave…” Jean’s excitement falters as you dip your head low, letting
your words hang in the air for a moment before continuing. “Petra recommended that I take
it, so I’ll be gone from the office for a while.”

“She mentioned that you’d be away but I didn’t realize… is everything ok?”

“I think so,” you offer with a shrug. “How are things at home?”

You’re deflecting, again. Jean frowns, feeling his irritation spike as you keep your eyes low.
You cross your arm under your chest, pushing up your breasts as you clasp your opposite arm
and Jean finds his eyes darting down.

You always do this. Even when you’re sitting a foot away from him on the couch, you’re still
trying to avoid talking about yourself by doing something to turn him on — Jean refuses to
take the bait.

"Connie and Sasha?" Jean asks, crossing his arms over his chest and you nod. "They're
good... I told them that you're working out of town for a bit longer and I wasn't sure when
you'd be back."

"You didn't tell them about us?"

"I want us to figure it out first." Jean feels bad for lying, but admitting to you that Connie and
Sasha know everything seems like a bad idea right now.

You nod and look down at your lap. "Ok, that explains things... I guess," you shrug. "I was
wondering why neither of them said anything to me... I've been gone for two days."

"They don't know anything is wrong," Jean says quickly. The truth is that Jean told the
others not to reach out to you. He doesn't want those idiots meddling in his business and
screwing things up even more. "Besides, I thought you might want a break from everyone for
a bit."

You sigh but nod, moving your hands to fiddle with the hem of your dress. "Yeah, that's why
I left the other day — so I could have a break... but it kind of feels like running away."

Jean shrugs in consideration but says nothing.

"I know it's childish to run from my problems, but I was just so overwhelmed after our fight
that I needed to get out of there."

Jean doesn't know what to say back, it's ok? but it's not.

He didn't like that you stormed off yesterday and he didn't like that you ignored his messages
for almost a day. It does feel like you're trying to run away from him and that makes him feel
terrible — but at the same time, that's kind of what he forced you to do, isn't it?
He pushed you away by being a jerk the morning after you confessed your love to him. He
was mad that you seemed to forgive him so quickly over something that he felt like he
should've been punished more for, and he —

Jean shakes his head, chasing away the thought and pulling himself out of another spiral of
insecurity.

“I got a promotion,” he says, looking away from you and picking at the lint on his pants. He
watches you in the corner of his eye, how your head jerks up with alarm. Even when he’s not
looking directly at you, he can feel the anger radiating off of your body.

“I know what you’re thinking,” he says before you have a chance to snap. “I tried to fight it,
but Erwin basically threatened me.”

“What?”

Jean waves his hand in dismissal, sinking lower into the couch and spreading his legs open as
he sighs heavily, rubbing his palms against his inner thighs. Can he really get mad at you for
deflecting when he does the exact same thing to you?

“I’m happy you agreed to see me,” he says quietly, glancing over at you. “I just… I wanted to
apologize for how I acted the other day.”

To his surprise, you groan in frustration, twisting forward in your seat and crossing your arms
over your chest. “Jean, you can’t keep doing this!” you snap. “You’re giving me whiplash.
One minute you’re nice to me, the next you’re rude. Then you apologize for being rude and
are nice again… just to turn around and be rude, again!”

He winces from your words, looking over at you with a grimace. “I know… I’m sorry.”

You just huff in response and Jean swallows loudly, tapping his fingers against his thighs as
the two of you sit in tense silence.

Yes, he wanted to talk to you, but now that you’re here with him, he feels like he can’t think.
He doesn’t want to screw things up any more than they already are, but he doesn’t know what
to say. He wishes he had taken Sasha up on her offer to help.

“Well?” you ask, looking over at him impatiently. “Is that all?”

“I don’t like fighting with you like this,” he says, running a hand through his hair. “You’re
really important to me, and I get that things are messed up… but I just want things to go back
to the way they were.”

“They can’t,” you say and he flinches. “You said it yourself, Jean. Things can’t go back to the
way they were after we break the dam, remember?”

“So, you’re just going to throw away our friendship because we aren’t fucking anymore?”
Jean asks, shaking his head to try to dissipate the growing fog of anger. “I took a big risk
telling you how I felt because I thought you’d be understanding, but you don’t seem to really
care about anything but yourself. You’re being selfish.”
“I’m being selfish?” you counter, twisting back to face Jean. “You’re the one putting up all
the roadblocks in our relationship: you want things to be a secret, but not too secret! You
want to take things slow, but not too slow!”

“When did I ever say any of that?” Jean frowns, sitting up to face you properly. “I said I
wanted to take things slow because I was scared you didn’t want this.”

“Why would you think that?”

“Because you’re still fucking around with Eren!” Jean snaps, throwing a hand out. “You’ve
been sleeping with Eren for months and I’ve just been waiting here for you… even after we
kissed, the next day — the next fucking day — you were riding his dick again.”

“I was only seeing him because I was trying to make you jealous,” you explain like it’s
obvious.

“Do you realize how manipulative that is?”

“Do you realize how manipulative you are?” you challenge. “Jean, I talked to Eren. He told
me that you’ve been lying to me.”

Jean feels his blood run cold and his body stiffen. “He… what?”

“You told me that there was a group chat that Eren was in that shared a bunch of nude
photos,” you say, slow and calm. “But I looked through Eren’s phone… so did you lie to
me?”

“I told you it was just a rumour,” Jean swallows loudly, feeling sweat beading along his
hairline. “I wasn’t sure if it was true.”

“Then why did you tell me that if you didn’t even know if it was true?”

Jean looks away from you quickly, flustered. He tries to think of something to say to dismiss
his actions — another lie to cover his tracks. But the longer he stumbles over his words, the
more your frown deepens and Jean just feels worse and worse.

“Because I was scared,” he admits, and he watches you pause. “I was scared seeing how
close the two of you were getting and…” he shrugs and looks away.

“And what?”

“I didn’t know what to do,” he offers with a shrug. He knows that’s not a good answer, but he
doesn’t know how else to explain himself.

He didn't know what to do — he still doesn't. When it comes to you, it's just so easy for Jean
to fuck things up. The right thing to do is to tell you how he feels and to stop telling lies, but
that opens himself up to rejection and it's easier to push you away first before you have a
chance to do the same to him.
It's fucked up, but it's easy — and he knows it isn't right to treat you like this. He wants to
believe that you care about him and that all of his insecurities about screwing things up with
you is just that — an insecurity... but it's hard.

“You could’ve just said something.”

“I did,” Jean says, turning to look at you again. “I told you so many times about how awful
Eren was, but you still kept seeing him. Even now you’re running around getting fucked by
both of us, and it hurts.”

“I’m not fucking Eren,” you say with a huff.

Jean’s jaw tightens as he looks over at you, hands clenching and unclenching against his legs.
“What?”

“I said, I’m not fucking Eren,” you snap.

“How long?” Jean asks and then he swallows thickly. “How long has it been since you last
hooked up with him?”

“Weeks,” you say quietly, eyes falling down into your lap. “Since before you and I stayed
with your mom.”

“So, you haven’t… you haven’t been with him since you and I…?”

“No, I haven’t.”

Jean starts drumming his fingers on his thighs, cheek sucked into his mouth. “Why not?”

You sigh heavily, “What?”

“I said, why not? You and I aren’t together. You and him have a —” he gestures vaguely, “—
thing. So, why not?”

“What kind of a person do you think I am?” you ask, eyes still fixed on your lap. Jean hums
noncommittally.

“Do you have feelings for him?” Jean asks, soft and quiet, like he wants to take back the
words as he’s saying them. He watches you hesitate to answer, gaze wavering and Jean nods
his head. “You do.”

“It’s complicated,” you say quickly and Jean shakes his head. “You understand, right? You
told me that you had feelings for me when you were dating Pieck… it’s like that.”

Jean rolls his eyes, he can’t believe you’re equating this to that. “Am I Pieck or you?”

“I’m serious,” you emphasize, scootching closer to Jean on the couch. “I don’t know exactly
how to describe the feelings that I have for Eren. When I try to think about it, I just feel sick
and guilty because I’ve liked you for so long that I feel like I’m betraying you.”
You reach forward to grab Jean’s hand and he lets you drag it into your lap, lacing your
fingers with his. “Eren has been a really good friend to me. He’s helped me get through some
really hard times at work and he’s given me advice when I talked to him about you… I've
gotten really close to him these past few months and I don't know what to do.”

”I don’t know what you want me to say,” Jean says with a frown. “You say you want to be
with me, but then you act like you’re dating Eren, and now you’re telling me that you have
feelings for him?”

“I’m just trying to be transparent with you,” you explain. “It’s not fair to you if I’m not being
honest… and I want you to be honest with me, too.”

“If Eren was out of the picture, what would that mean for us?”

You squeeze Jean’s hand a little tighter. “I know it would make things easier. I understand
why you’re so upset about my relationship with him, but it’s just so hard to let go of him
when he’s been there for me through so much.”

“And what if I wasn’t in the picture?” Jean asks quietly, and you look up at him. “What
would that mean for you and Eren?”

You stumble over your words and Jean can feel your hand grow clammy against his. He
wonders if you're struggling to speak because you don't know what to say or because you're
worried how he'll react.

“Do you want to explore something with him?” Jean asks, even though it pains him to do so.

Jean wonders if you know that Eren is in love with you. It seems like you’re being careful
with your words and it’s obvious that you know Eren has feelings for you… but do you know
he loves you?

Maybe Eren said something to you during dinner, before Jean deleted the text messages. Or
maybe he said something to you more recently… it sounds like the two of you hung out —
the thought makes Jean’s heart sink into his gut. What if Eren being vulnerable about his
feelings with you is what makes you end up with him instead of Jean?

Is that what you near to hear, that Jean loves you?

He rolls the thought around in his head. He knows he’s in love with you, he’s known for a
long time. And he knows you’re in love with him, too.

Thinking about it makes Jean’s heart thunder in his ears and his body grow cold. Is this is
what it’s supposed to feel like when you’re in love with someone — like you’re about to be
sick?

You wouldn’t be the first person he’s said I love you to — far from it. But saying it has never
felt like this before.

It’s just another reminder that something about you is different. Something about you makes
Jean feel like he’s going insane. Something about you makes him desperate to be with you,
terrified of losing you, and scared he’ll fuck things up — all at the same time.

He swallows back the words and squeezes your hand gently in reassurance. “It’s ok, you can
be honest.”

You swallow thickly and look down at Jean’s hand in yours. You run your thumb across the
veins on the back of his hand as you consider his question for a moment.

“I don’t know, I — I don’t know, Jean.” You sigh heavily, keeping your head low as you
speak. “I didn’t see a group chat with nude pictures on Eren’s phone, but I saw something
that made me feel just as bad... and I’m having a hard time dealing with all these feelings of
betrayal from someone that I thought was my friend.”

“I told you he was a piece of shit.”

“Then why did you let me be with him?”

Jean reels back from your intensity when you look up at him with watery eyes.

“You knew about the things he was doing — the things he was saying… If Eren was so
awful, why would you let me get involved with him and get hurt like this?”

“You wouldn’t have listened to me if I had said anything.”

“Yes, I would have!” you say, exasperated. “Jean, your opinion means more to me than
anyone else’s. If you told me not to see Eren, then I wouldn’t have.”

“I did tell you not to see him.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t tell me why.”

Jean clenches his jaw, looking over at you with narrowed eyes as you try to blink away your
tears.

“All you’ve ever said about him was that he was an asshole or he was a dick or he was
sanctimonious — whatever that means! You never gave me details or even a good reason not
to see him! If you had given me an actual reason, I would have listened to you!”

Jean frowns and looks away. He tries pulling his hand away from yours, but you hold him
tight. “Morally superior,” he mumbles.

“What?”

“Sanctimonious… it means morally superior,” he explains and you let out another
exasperated huff.

“You’re not even going to give me an excuse?”

“I told you,” he hisses. Jean clenches his eyes shut, trying to block out your watery stare as
he racks his brain for something — anything — to say. “I didn’t think you would listen to
me.”

Jean feels nauseous, but when he opens his eyes, he tries to keep his face neutral. He knows
that you don’t accept his excuse — and why would you? Jean’s known for years how shitty
Eren treated the girls that he was with and he never truly warned you. But it’s not fair that
you’re getting mad at him like this. It’s not like Connie or Sasha told you, either. Why are
you blaming Jean?

“You’re not being fair,” he says quietly and you frown at him. “You went to Paradis just like
the rest of us. You’re acting like you didn’t know about Eren’s reputation before you hooked
up with him.”

You shake your head, defeated. “I would’ve appreciated a heads up from my best friend.”

“I’m sorry.” Jean swallows thickly and he squeezes your hand tightly, shifting his gaze away
from your face and to his reflection in the blank tv screen. “I should've been honest with
you.”

“Thanks,” you say, leaning forward in your seat. “I’m sorry for being rude, I don’t want to
lose you — I’m just so frustrated and confused about what’s been happening. My head feels
like a mess and I just want things to be easy, again.”

Jean turns back to face you, raising one hand to cup your face and you press your cheek
against his palm, blinking up at him softly. You look so hurt and lost, it breaks his heart.
Jean’s eyes waver from your eyes to your lips and back again, and he thinks about what he
can do to make you feel better.

“I miss you,” he says quietly. “I miss you so fucking much.”

“I haven’t gone anywhere, dummy,” you whisper as your eyes flutter shut, both of you
leaning forward until your lips meet, and — fuck — so much for salvaging the friendship.

Jean is confused about how he feels about you. He wants to be with you, but he doesn’t want
to hurt you. He wants to be your friend, but he likes the way your mouth feels on his. He
wants to see you happy, but he doesn’t think he can make you happy.

No matter how much you try to reassure him, he knows that your friendship is irreparably
damaged after everything that’s happened these past few weeks. If he wants to keep you in
his life, he needs to be with you — and that means being vulnerable and honest instead of the
disgusting caricature of his father that he’s been acting like.

But that’s scary. He doesn’t want you to shed tears over him but he doesn’t know if he can be
the man that you deserve. He’s fucking things up at work and he’s fucking things up with you
— because of Jean, everything is going wrong.

His tongue swipes across your lip before diving into your mouth. His hand slides from your
cheek to the back of your head, cradling it in his palm and he deepens the kiss, pressing his
body forward and gently guiding you onto your back on the couch, with him straddled above
you.
Fuck. Everything with you makes Jean feel like he’s going crazy. His head is filled with
contradictions and insecurities and he feels like he’s going in circles around the same
concerns, over and over again.

It’s like he’s stuck in this loop with you and he doesn’t know how to break free.

Every conversation with you leads to tears and more confusion and the only time the two of
you feel normal is when you’re fucking.

With his tongue down your throat, Jean remembers his conversation with Erwin from earlier
today — another painful reminder that no matter how hard he tries, he’ll never be the man he
wants to be.

But first step in being someone he can be proud of is changing — just because people keep
trying to push him into his father’s shadow, doesn’t mean he has to stay there.

He can do better. He can be better.

He pulls away slowly, blinking his eyes open to look at your glassy, dazed eyes below him.
There’s a thin, translucent string of saliva that connects your mouths and he wipes it away
with his palm. He thinks about how easy it would be to sink inside of you and just forget
everything that’s making your relationship hard — but he needs to be better than that.

“Stop,” he hisses, “we can’t do this.”

“Jean,” you scold, gripping the front of his dress shirt firmly and holding him close. “Stop it,
please.”

“We’re still not talking,” he insists, brushing away your hands and sitting upright on the
couch. He rubs his palms across his face to try to calm the ache between his legs and to avoid
looking at your sprawled open thighs and the wet spot on your underwear.

Fuck.

“I didn’t come over so we could hook up — I wanted to sort things out.”

“We did.”

Jean snorts. “Did we? What did we resolve?” his voice is almost cruel and when he lowers
his hands to look over at you, you look ashamed.

“Why is it so hard to be with you?” you groan, throwing your hands up into the air. “We were
best friends for years, Jean, and neither of us had a problem with it… but suddenly, we start
having sex and everything goes to shit?”

Jean snorts, throwing his head back against the couch and looking up at the ceiling. “Yeah,
what the fuck? Why are things so complicated?”

“We’re both scared,” you offer and Jean nods. “I’ve liked you for a really long time, so I
really want things to work out between us.”
Jean sighs heavily. “Me, too.”

“So, when I see you with Pieck… even if it’s totally reasonable, I just get freaked out that
you’re going to choose her instead.”

“How do you think I feel about Eren?” Jean asks, rolling his cheek against the couch to face
you. You’re chewing on your lip with your feet curled under you as you look at him with
concern.

“I get it — I do,” you say and Jean gets up off the couch.

“I need a glass of water,” he explains when you look up at him in confusion. He’s mostly
stepping away to help control himself from kissing you again, but a glass of water won’t hurt.

He searches through the cupboards for Reiner’s glasses while you trail into the kitchen
behind him, phone in hand.

Jean fills his glass with water from the sink, before turning around to lean against the counter
as he takes a drink. Over the rim, he looks over at you standing by the counter, looking up at
him with big, hopeful eyes — and then he looks over at the dining room table.

“Those are nice,” he says, lowering the glass from his lips and gesturing over at the bouquet
of flowers. “Reiner doesn’t strike me as a red rose kinda guy.”

You glance between the flowers at the table and Jean, and he watches your body stiffen.
“Those aren’t Reiners, those are mine… E-Eren brought them over,” you explain, stumbling
around Eren’s name like you’re afraid to say it out loud.

Flowers — why didn’t he think of that?

Jean takes another long sip from his glass to avoid speaking. He finishes his glass and then
sets it down in the sink behind him, before resting his hands on the ledge and throwing his
head back over his shoulders.

“Why is Eren Jaeger getting you flowers?” he asks, but he already knows.

“He was apologizing for the other night — at the restaurant,” you explain and Jean lets out a
heavy sigh.

“I hate that you’re still seeing him. Even if you’re not fucking.”

“Jean, do you even like me? Really? Or are you just mad about how close I am with Eren?”
he looks down at you with a frown to see you matching his expression. “I feel like you only
want me because Eren is… because he was nice to me.”

“I like you,” he insists with a heavy sigh.

“Well, what about me do you like?”

He sighs heavily, running a hand across his face before speaking. “I like how much fun I have
with you when we’re together. I like that we can be goofy together.”

Jean takes a step toward you.

“I like holding hands with you when we’re driving in the car and cuddling together when we
watch movies back at the house,” he continues, and you take a step toward him — close
enough that he can feel the warmth radiating off of your body. “I like the way your lips feel
against mine when I kiss you. I like the way your body shivers when I touch you.”

As if to emphasize his point, he reaches forward and rests his hand on your waist — you
shiver from his touch and he smirks.

“I like the way you say my name,” he says, voice dipping lower as he inches his face toward
you. “I like hearing you beg for me.”

You swallow thickly as Jean gently guides you until your back is against the counter and his
body is pressed against yours. He slips his knee between your thighs and you place your
phone on the counter so you can rest your hands on his shoulders. His cheeks are flushed and
his eyes are dark and stormy — you lick your lips.

“Should I keep going?” he asks, his voice dips into a low growl and you squirm against his
body.

“I thought you wanted things to go back to normal,” you say, swallowing thickly. “I thought
you wanted to just be friends.”

“I do,” he hums, and something flashes across his face. “But you’re right, I don’t think we
can go back to being just friends now that I know how you taste.”

You whimper and clench your eyes shut tightly. “Jean,” you warn, but it’s weak and trembly.

“You can go back to Eren if you want,” he says, and you feel his hand come up to cradle the
back of your head, his thumb pressing against your cheek. “Is that what you want?”

Your eyes flutter open to see Jean staring at you intensely. You roll your hips against him to
feel him hard in his slacks and watch his jaw tighten as he bites back a groan.

“What do you want?” he urges, and his hand on your waist grips you tighter.

“I want you, Jean,” you say, cupping his face in your hands and leaning forward to kiss the
smile off of his face.

This kiss is hungry and frantic. You feel like you need Jean’s lips on yours to breathe as you
grind against his thigh. He moans into your mouth as he slides his tongue against yours and
his hands shift to grab your hips, lifting you up off of the ground and onto the kitchen counter
as he slots himself between your open thighs.

You can feel Jean’s hard cock straining against the confines of his work slacks as he ruts
against you. Each time your clit slides across the length of his cock you whimper into his
mouth.

You feel crazed — like some kind of animal. The feeling of Jean’s rough stubble on your face
and his hot hands on your body has you frantically clawing at his clothes, trying to rip them
off at the same time you’re using them to pull him close.

When you slide your hands down his chest to grip his belt, Jean pulls away from the kiss with
a throaty groan. “Fuck,” he hisses when your fingers start to undo his belt. “Come on,
faster.”

Your hands are shaking as you pull his pants open while his hands paw at your breasts. You
want him, you need him, you —

bzz - bzz - bzz

The sound of your phone buzzing on the counter beside you jolts you out of your hazy
arousal, but you shake your head and focus on the button on Jean’s pants. “Ignore it,” you
huff.

bzz - bzz - bzz

Jean’s grip on you starts to falter and you can hear his panting breaths start to slow down.
“Are you sure?” he asks, and you’re still fumbling with his button. “What if it’s important?”

“It’s not,” you insist.

bzz - bzz - bzz

With a frustrated groan, you twist around to grab your phone, ready to slam the Ignore button
for whoever’s calling you, but when you bring the phone up to your face, you still.

Eren is calling you.

You swallow thickly, looking down at the photo of the two of you together as your phone
buzzes in your hand. Jean grabs your wrist, twisting it so he can see, and he audibly scowls.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” he hisses, and as you watch Eren’s call go to
voicemail, you feel Jean’s hands reach down for his belt — but he’s doing it back up.

“I should probably go, it’s getting late,” he says, obviously annoyed. “Besides, you probably
want to call him back.”

Jean steps away, leaving you perched on the counter as he gathers his things, still half-hard in
his pants. You offer him a half-hearted goodbye but don’t take your eyes off of the phone in
your hand until the call goes to voicemail — even when you hear the door close behind Jean
when he leaves.

Your phone buzzes again, but this time you see it’s a text message.
sry for calling i was just thinkin about you :)
what time do u want me to come by tmo?

You swallow thickly and type away on your phone quickly in response.

Maybe like 11am? Before lunch rush?

can do :)
sry i hope you weren’t busy

No not at all

You set your phone back down on the counter and then slip off the counter with a heavy sigh.

What are you doing?

You’re trying to reconcile things with Jean, but you chased him away by answering Eren’s
messages in the middle of hooking up.

What’s wrong with you?

You rub your eyes with your hands and groan loudly. At least you and Jean were able to talk
things out today before he left.

Jean wants to keep working on things between the two of you and he’s ok with you seeing
Eren. That’s what you guys had agreed on… right?

You can’t remember — talking to Jean always leaves you feeling hazy and confused. You
decide to send him a quick message, even though you’re not sure if he’ll see it if he’s already
driving home.

Sorry about tonight.

Things are good with us though, right?

Yeah.

Ok, good :)
Can I see you again sometime soon?

We’ll see.
Things are busy with work right now.

Oh yeah, of course.
Thanks for coming over today :)
It was nice seeing you.
I really missed you.

I missed you too.

 You smile down at your phone. Jean’s always been a dry texter, but seeing those few words
on the screen makes you feel at ease.

Things will work out between the two of you — you know it.

Chapter End Notes

I know some of you guys were disappointed with Eren's backstory reveal in the last
chapter, myself included 😳 I had written an alternate version of Eren's backstory that I
think adds more detail, but unfortunately didn't fit into Ch28 without major rewrites and
is too short to be a standalone chapter/doesn't fit anywhere else in this arc.

I've posted it on my Tumblr as bonus content, and I recommend reading it if you felt
unsatisfied with Eren's backstory in the previous chapter! It's literally the same
information that was given in Ch28 but delivered in a slightly different way that might

🙇
answer some questions that were left too open-ended in the published chapter.
Hopefully, this compensates for the short chapter this week

Bonus Scene:
Family - an alternate version of Eren's backstory
 No Regrets
Chapter Notes

various moment of Reader and Eren in the car!! (slight NSFW)

out and send them some love!!
🥰💗
A lovely artist on Tumblr named @toxrez was inspired by this story to draw some art of
Please go check it

cw: Explicit language, angst, hurt/no comfort.

“We’re closed every other Sunday,” Levi explains as you tie the apron tightly around your
middle. “Do you want full-time hours or part-time hours?”

“Whatever you need me for,” you say brightly. “I don’t have anything else going on, so I’m
fully available.”

“Right,” he says, raising a brow. “Full-time then, starting tomorrow you can work Monday to
Friday.”

You nod, wringing your hands together as you wait for further direction. The tearoom is
empty like before, but Levi is keeping himself busy by cleaning off the tables. You weren’t
sure what time to come in for your shift today, so you arrived at eight in the morning —
around the time you usually showed up for your cafe job at university. Levi didn’t seem to
mind, thankfully.

“Our busiest times are the mornings and lunch, otherwise we rarely have people come in,” he
explains. “During your downtime, I expect you to keep this place tidy and organized.”

You nod, looking over at the small display of baked goods. “Are these made in-house?” you
ask, pointing toward them, careful not to touch the glass with your finger.

“Yes, as part of your morning duties, you will be responsible for making baked goods and
sandwiches. You can do a lot of the prep work in the afternoon after the lunch rush, I have
lists posted on the wall in the back room with recipes and instructions.”

Levi was always very organized and structured in class, so you’re not surprised to see him
exercise those same qualities for his small business.

“While you’re training, I’ll stay here for your full shift, but after a few days, if I think your
performance is adequate, I’ll let you run the shop on your own.”

“I hope my performance is more than adequate, sir!” You joke, grinning over at him.
He looks at you dryly in response before returning to his task of wiping off the table. “I’ll
teach you how to use the register in a moment, just get behind the counter for now.”

You’re starting to feel a little nervous about working here with your old professor, but you try
to calm down by reminding yourself that it can’t possibly be worse than working at Titan.
Levi is strict, no-nonsense, and pragmatic and you were able to handle him as a professor, so
dealing with him as a boss can’t be much different.

As you drift away with your thoughts, you remember: Levi used to work at Titan. That’s
probably why he seemed so awkward when Petra was gossiping with him about Erwin and
Hange, you feel silly for not remembering immediately. You wonder if working here with
Levi will give you some insight into why he left the company, but you suspect it might have
something to do with Erwin.

After cleaning off the table, Levi walks you through using the register, explaining how all of
the buttons work and how to process payment. Then he walks you through preparing teas for
customers and the all proper health and safety protocols.

Levi has a small piece of paper taped to the back wall that tells you the temperature and
length of time that the tea needs to be steeped. There are multiple small timers and
thermometers lined at the back wall that you can use to help perfect the drink

It’s simple, methodical work, but it’s not easy. You can tell that this might be challenging if
you have multiple customers at once, but luckily for now, you’re just practicing.

After showing you the basics, Levi returns to the back room, mumbling something about
needing to do some paperwork. You stay manning the register, tapping your nails on the
countertop as you wait for some customers. You hope that by the end of your time here with
Levi, you’ll have some semblance of a friendship with him.

“What did I say about cleaning during your downtime?” Levi yells from the back room,
startling you.

“Yes, sir! Sorry!” you squeak, grabbing a cloth and some disinfectant spray from under the
counter.

While you wipe down the already-sparkling surfaces in the tearoom, you let your mind
wander back to your predicament with Jean. Last night was fun but now that you have a clear
head, it’s obvious to you that nothing has been resolved between the two of you.

He’s still being weird with you and you don’t understand why. You’ve been so clear about
your feelings for him and he’s still acting like things are uncertain.

You feel the buzz of your phone in your apron pocket and you don’t have to look at it to
know who’s messaging you. It’s Eren checking in to see if you still want him to come by for
lunch.

Of course, you want to see him again. You had such a good time on your date at the seawall
with him and you’re looking forward to spending more time with him again today… but you
still can’t shake the sick feeling in your stomach every time you remember the messages you
saw.

Is it even possible to forgive Eren after seeing something like that? How can you ever trust
him again?

And you know you’re being stupid — Jean told you he hates that you and Eren are still
hanging out. Your relationship with Eren is a big part of the reason why Jean ended things
with you after your three-day-long relationship… but you can’t help it.

You even admitted it to Jean last night — you have feelings for Eren Jaeger.

And you shouldn’t, after what you saw on his phone — but things are complicated. You’re
confused and you just wish you could dismiss everything you saw and just go back to how
things were with you and Eren before the night at the restaurant.

Back when you could go to Eren for comfort. When he would reassure you that things would
be ok. When he would go out of his way to make things easier for you, whether it was getting
you coffee or grabbing you lunch at work.

You think about all the times you spent curled in Eren’s lap. The way he kissed you and held
your hand and kept you safe every time that you felt hopeless.

You don’t realize you’re crying until you see your tears fall on the counter below you.
Sniffling, you brush your cheeks with the heel of your hand before scrubbing the counter a
little harder, willing yourself to calm down before —

“What are you crying about?”

Shit.

“It’s nothing,” you say quickly, turning until your back is facing Levi as you try to busy
yourself with cleaning. “I’m fine.”

“I can hear you sniffling from my office. At least blow your nose.”

“Right, yes, sorry,” you say.

Levi sighs heavily from behind you as you blow your nose into a tissue paper, but you keep
your back facing him to avoid his gaze.

“People don’t usually burst into tears when they wipe down countertops.”

“There’s just a lot on my mind,” you say, waving your hand dismissively and hoping that
Levi goes back into his office.

“Work?” he asks and you still.

No, not really — but, kind of. Everything that’s been going on at Titan definitely isn’t
helping your current mental state.
“A bit,” you admit with a shrug.

“I worked at Titan for ten years before quitting,” he says, leaning against the counter next to
you. “I know what you’re going through.”

“Why did you leave?” you pry, taking a cursory glance over your shoulder at Levi. His arms
are crossed over his chest, head tilted back with his eyes closed in thought.

“That man is chasing some unattainable goal,” he starts. “So he pushes and pushes and
pushes until everyone under him breaks — all in the name of driving profits.”

Levi scoffs, flopping his head forward again and looking over at you with narrowed eyes.
“We lost so many bright kids because Erwin doesn’t know how to delegate a realistic
workload. And yet, stupid brats like you still line up like fodder for him every year and then
are shocked when they get eaten alive.”

“Does this happen to a lot of employees?” you ask, finally turning to face him. “The whole,
stress leave thing? It didn’t seem like it was the first time Petra’s had to do something like
this before.”

“It happens more than you think,” he says. “Companies just don’t advertise it as an option.”
Levi scoffs again, shaking the hair out of his eyes. “Are you going back there after this?”

“Maybe,” you admit with a shrug.

“Why would you want to work somewhere that makes you go on stress leave?”

“I just need a little break,” you offer, “After I rest a bit and get my life together, I’ll be better
when I return.”

“But you won’t,” Levi says bluntly. “You’ll work even harder to prove to management that
you aren’t weak, even though mental health has nothing to do with weakness. Then you’ll
burn yourself out even more and have to go on stress leave again, or worse.”

“So, is that what I should do?” you ask, fiddling with the tissue in your hands. “I should
quit?”

You expect him to answer you quickly and bluntly, but instead, he pauses. He looks at you
carefully, narrowing his eyes in thought before he takes a slow breath.

“I don’t know what you should do. I could never advise you on that. No matter what kind of
wisdom dictates the option you pick, no one will be able to tell you if it’s right or wrong until
you arrive at some sort of outcome from your choice.”

You blink at him in surprise. You thought he’d be like everyone else and give you his flat
opinion, but Levi instead, gives you no answer, but somehow it still feels comforting.

“Thank you,” you say softly, and you brush away another tear from your cheek.
“Choose for yourself,” he says and his voice seems a little softer. “Whichever decision you
will regret the least.”

The bell atop the door dings as a customer walks in and Levi doesn’t even bother turning
around when he says, “We’re closed.”

“It says open on the sign outside,” says a familiar voice. Your gaze darts up to meet with
bright emerald eyes and you immediately suck in a sharp breath and turn your back to him.

“I said, we’re closed.”

“Hey, is everything ok here?”

“Jaeger, are you deaf?”

You brush the tears away from your face and try to compose yourself as quickly as possible
before Levi throws Eren out on his ass. “I’m fine, I’m fine!” you say frantically.

Was it lunchtime already? Eren’s seen you at your worst, but you still find yourself
embarrassed to be caught crying.

“Get out,” Levi hisses through clenched teeth.

You whirl around to face them both, knowing that your face is probably still wet from tears,
and quickly say, “It’s ok, I told him to come.”

Levi’s brows scrunch in confusion, eyes darting between Eren and you. “Oh, great.”

“It’s not like that,” Eren says quickly. “We’re friends.”

“Sure,” Levi tsks before looking over at you sternly. “You know he’s an idiot, right?”

“Hey!” Eren says, offended.

“Keep it quick, the lunch rush will be coming shortly.” Levi waves his hand in dismissal and
returns to his office in the back room.

You nod after him before turning your attention back to Eren, who’s looking at you with soft
eyes and furrowed brows. “Everything ok?” he asks, voice low. “Levi being a dick?”

“I heard that.”

You shake your head, forcing a laugh. “No, we were just talking about work and I got
overwhelmed.”

Eren frowns, unconvinced, and reaches out across the counter to hold your hand, but he
pauses just before contact. You watch his hand clench into a fist before he returns it to his
side.

“You know you can talk to me,” he says.

“I know,” you assure, nodding. “It’s nothing we haven’t already talked about.”

“Ok,” he says before smiling. “Still good for our lunch date?”

You glance over at the clock near the entrance and see that it’s already eleven. Brushing the
last of the tears off of your face, you look across the counter at Eren with a smile. “What can
I get for you?”

“Do you guys do vanilla lattes here?” he asks.

“Just tea.”

“No, just tea,” you repeat after Levi’s stern yell from the other room. “We have some green
tea lemonades that look tasty if you want to try that?”

He shrugs, “Sure, I like the sound of that.”

You grab two sandwiches from behind the glass and pour two glasses of lemonade for you
and Eren, bringing them all out with you to one of the small two-person tables outside Levi’s
shop.

“Levi, I’m just going to go sit outside for a minute!” you call and he doesn’t respond.

Eren reaches out for your hand immediately when you take your seat across from him, but
then he does the same thing as before — pausing before contact. This time, you nudge your
hand into his and watch as he visibly relaxes, brushing his thumb back and forth across the
tendons on your hand.

“How’s your first day at work?”

“I’ve only been here a few hours,” you laugh, taking a small sip from your drink. “So…
well? I guess?”

“Well,” Eren hums, grabbing his sandwich with his free hand. “If crying on your first day at
work is your idea of well, I’d hate to see a bad day.” You laugh again, squeezing his hand
gently in yours as he takes a bite from his sandwich. “Did you make this?”

“No, Levi did,” you say, lips twitching up in amusement. “I think tomorrow he’ll let me make
some sandwiches, but I showed up late today so he did them.”

“Cute,” he says around a mouthful of food. “I can’t wait to try yours.”

You roll your eyes and mask your grin with a sip of your drink. “What about you, how’s
work?”

“You already know this, but Reiner put in his two weeks,” Eren says. “Hange sent out an
email informing the whole office about it. His last day is supposed to be next Friday, but I
already saw them packing up his desk, so I don’t think he’s coming back.”

“Has an email gone out about me?”

“Nope,” he says, popping his lips around the word. “Nobody in management has even
mentioned you. It’s like this awkward elephant in the room.”

“Weird,” you say with a shrug, but you’re relieved your mental health issues aren’t the hot
gossip in the office.

“I think the Reeves job is all wrapped up now. At least it is on the consulting side, I don’t
know about how Petra and Jean are doing with accounting.”

“Jean’s probably swamped with work since both me and Reiner are gone,” you say
regretfully, looking down at your drink. You know that’s true, that’s what he told you last
night.

“He’s tough, he can handle it,” Eren says dismissively, waving a hand in the air. “But
anyway, it looks like my days of late nights at the office are over! I’m back to my regular
workload after today.”

“That’s really awesome,” you say earnestly. “I’m glad things are cooling down after the past
few weeks.”

Eren sighs heavily, “Yeah, I can’t believe how tough that job was. I hope I don’t get assigned
to another one of those again.”

You hum in agreement, taking another long sip of your drink. “Do you want to come over
tonight?” you ask, fiddling with the rim of your cup. “Watch a movie or something?”

Eren whistles in approval. “Wow, you already want to take me home? I must be doing
something right.” You roll your eyes, looking up at him to see him grinning cheerfully at you.
“Yeah, I’d love to.”

“I just want to watch a movie,” you say with a shrug.

“Just a movie” he hums, eyes lowering down to look at your hand in his. “And then you’re
going to fall in love with me, right?”

“You’re so dramatic,” you groan, resting your head on your hand as you look across at Eren.

“You think that’s dramatic? Wait ‘till you hear this,” he laughs but keeps his eyes fixed on
your hand. “Before I met you, I didn’t even believe in love. I thought it was all capitalist
bullshit, invented to suck money from poor unsuspecting idiots.”

“That’s pretty cynical, don’t you think?” you ask, quirking a brow.

“It’s funny,” he hums, pressing his lips into a tight line. “Armin said almost the exact same
thing. I always knew that nerd was smarter than me.”

You roll your eyes. “Armin, your best friend? That Armin?” you tease and Eren laughs.

“Yeah, that’s the one.” He takes another bite of his sandwich and asks around a mouthful,
“What about you? Who’s your best friend?”
You roll the thought around in your head for a moment. Jean’s always been your best friend,
of course, but before you can respond, Eren adds to his question.

“Who’s the person you go to for advice? Someone you can completely rely on to help when
you’re going through something?”

That changes your answer.

“Definitely, Sasha.”

Eren nods in approval, devouring his sandwich completely. “And have you been talking to
her about this?” he gestures between the two of you and you flush.

“Um, kind of,” you admit with a shrug. “I haven’t talked with her recently… not since we
were in Trost.”

Eren’s face twists in confusion and he swallows back the last of his sandwich with a swig of
his lemonade. “You haven’t talked to her?”

You shake your head. “I would, but just because of Jean and everything…”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, she’s Jean’s friend.”

“You just said she’s your best friend.”

“Yeah, but I’m not sure if I’m her best friend… you know?”

Eren shakes his head, still visibly confused.

“Sasha and Jean have been friends long before I knew either of them. I’m just worried that
she’ll side with him if things go sideways.”

Eren makes a face. “You really think that?” and you nod in response. “Then who are you
talking to?”

“Nobody,” you shrug. “You, I guess. Jean…” you trail off, feeling heat flood your cheeks but
if Eren notices you flustering, he doesn’t comment.

“You should talk to your friend, she’s probably worried about you.”

“Well, she hasn’t reached out,” you say with a defeated sigh. “Jean told her that I’m away for
work, so she has no reason to worry.”

Eren frowns and squeezes your hand a little tighter. “Why would he say that? You should talk
to her. Just because she’s known Jean for longer, doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about you.”

You snort in amusement, but Eren’s face remains stern. “I’m serious,” he insists. “Talking
with Armin helps me a lot. You should talk with Sasha, too — she might have some insight
into everything.”

“Sasha’s the one that got me into this whole mess, actually,” you say with a laugh and Eren
quirks up an eyebrow in interest. “She’s the one that suggested that I try to make Jean jealous
by hooking up with someone else.”

“God bless, Sasha,” Eren smiles. “See? She gives great advice.”

“Sure,” you say sarcastically, rolling your eyes.

“If she hadn’t told you that, we wouldn’t be here right now,” Eren points out and you find
yourself holding his hand a little tighter.

“No, we wouldn’t,” you agree. You purse your lips in thought as you look down at your
fingers laced with Eren’s. Your hand is small compared to his, but his touch is gentle. The
cool, smooth metal of his rings feels nice against your skin and you find yourself gently
stroking his hand with your thumb.

He lifts your hand up from the table and you follow it with your eyes as he brings your hand
to his mouth. Eren gently presses his lips to each of your knuckles, his eyes fixed intently on
your face as he does so.

“I really like hanging out with you,” he says quietly and you can hear the vulnerability in his
voice.

“I like hanging out with you, too,” you admit with a sad smile.

***

The rest of the day with Levi goes off without a hitch. He stays in the back room for most of
the afternoon, only coming out to help you with some of the complicated orders and teaching
you how to prep for tomorrow morning.

“So, you want me to come in bright and early tomorrow?” you ask, following Levi out of the
shop as he locks up.

He hums in response, walking with you out of the alleyway to the main road. Levi lingers
near the mouth of the alley as you start to make your way to Reiner’s, and the way he’s
looking at you makes you pause. “Everything ok?” you ask.

“Yes,” he says slowly, pursing his lips in thought. He opens his mouth like he’s about to
speak, but then snaps it back shut before turning away quickly. “See you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow!” you parrot, waving at his back before turning and walking in the
opposite direction. You pull out your phone to send a quick message to Eren to let him know
that you’re off work and he responds with a bunch of smiling emojis.

want me to bring anything when I come over?

should be done around 4
 No, we should be good
Reiner’s got some food in the fridge
I can make us something for dinner!

ok :)

You have to stuff your phone into your pocket to hide the way your hands shake when you
talk to Eren, taking a sharp breath through your teeth as you power-walk back to Reiner’s
apartment.

You don’t let yourself think about what you’re doing to Eren by inviting him over like this.
You don’t let yourself think about Eren’s text messages. You don’t let yourself think about
how much he loves you. You don’t let yourself think about the fact that he’s trying to have a
fresh start with you while you’re still desperately trying to get back together with Jean.

Instead, you clean every flat surface in Reiner’s apartment in preparation for Eren’s arrival.
You take a long shower under scalding hot water, pulling on your favourite oversized white t-
shirt to lounge around in as you start prepping some food for dinner.

By the time you’ve figured out what meal to make from what’s available in Reiner’s fridge
and done some prepping, Eren buzzes the intercom to be let in, arriving at your door not even
five minutes later.

“Hellooo,” he sings, walking into the apartment like he lives here — with another bouquet of
flowers. He’s changed out of his work clothes into something more casual and when his eyes
land on your outfit, his eyebrows quirk up in surprise. “You’re always wearing that shirt,” he
says, grinning.

“Am I?” you say, shutting the door and then walking past him to the kitchen. “It’s just an —
oh my God, this is your shirt, isn’t it?” You realize mid-sentence, eyes widening in alarm as
you grab the fabric on your chest and tug it away from your body slightly. “I’m so sorry, I
forgot to return this to you.”

“It’s ok,” he coos, walking up to you and brushing imaginary dirt off of your shoulder. “It
looks better on you than it ever did on me. Besides, I notice you like to wear it a lot.”

You swat his hands away, spinning quickly to hide your blush as you return your attention to
the cutting board. “Thank you for the flowers, Eren. You can put them in the vase with the
others.”

“Sure,” he coos, and you can hear him fiddling with the bouquet from behind you.

“Are you hungry? I was just about to make food.”

“Starved,” he says with a sigh, falling into one of the chairs at Reiner’s small, two-person
dining table, just off to the side of the kitchen. “Do you need help with anything?”

“No, I think I’m good,” you hum, turning on the stove to start cooking. “How was work?”
“Slow. Boring. You know how it is,” he says, and when you turn to look at him, he’s resting
his head in his hands, both elbows propped up on the table as he watches you cook. “Been
hearing some rumblings about a mass exodus in the consulting department.”

You perk up, “What do you mean?”

“Apparently, there’s this recruiting company that’s been eating up all of the junior
consultants,” Eren says, smirking. “I guess they’re trying to advocate for a better work-life
balance for office workers, so their aim is to pull people out of public and into industry. I
talked with some people about it today and it sounds like more than a handful of people have
already interviewed with them.”

“Who are they?” you ask, turning your attention back to the frying pan when the oil starts to
sizzle.

“They’re called HERO. They only just started operating this year,” Eren shrugs. “Seems
kinda sus to me, so I’m just going to stick it out at Titan for a bit until I hear from some of the
other guys that go there.”

“Who’s all going?”

“I don’t know if you know many of the other consulting crew,” Eren says, scratching his
chin. “Gordon, Marlowe, Sandra… Surprisingly not Floch, but I know if I tell him I’m going,
he’ll go too.”

“That guy loves you,” you giggle, frying up some veggies.

“Yeah, he’s obsessed with me,” Eren groans, standing up from his seat to come lean on the
counter next to you.

You look up at Eren to see him smiling down at you, eyes soft as his arms cross against his
chest. “I don’t blame him,” you say with a shrug. “It’s the Eren Jaeger Effect.”

His brows jerk up and he purses his lips together in amusement. “Oh, yeah? And what’s
that?”

“You know,” you gesture vaguely toward Eren’s chest, then his face, then his crotch.

He laughs, inching a little closer to you. “No, I don’t. Please enlighten me.”

“There’s just something about you,” you say with a shrug. “People either love you or hate
you.”

“And what about you?” He inches a little closer and your breath hitches in your throat as you
look up at him. “Do you love me or do you hate me?”

You can only stammer in response, blinking up at bright, green eyes. You breathe in a shaky
breath, chest visibly shuddering and Eren’s eyes twinkle brighter in amusement.

“Sorry,” he breathes, inching a little closer. “Do I make you nervous?”

“No,” you squeak.

“You’re a bad liar,” he tsks, leaning back against the counter and finally giving you space to
catch your breath. “You’re burning the veggies, by the way.”

“I’ve got it,” you say quickly, furiously stirring them around from sticking to the bottom of
the pan. “It’s fine, just a little blackened.”

He just chuckles in response, still looking over at you fondly while you prep the food. “So,
what movie do you want to watch tonight?”

“You can pick,” you hum.

“I always pick.”

“Always?” you say, rolling your eyes. “Literally one time and it was two days ago.”

“Yeah,” he nods, “Always.”

“Fine. There’s that new horror movie out I wanna check out.”

“I don’t like horror.”

“Ok, what about that romance one? I saw some —”

“Don’t like rom-coms, sorry.”

You snort, looking over at him in disbelief. “If you want me to choose the movie, you can’t
be so picky.”

“I’m not picky,” Eren sings, shaking his head. “Next suggestion, I promise I’ll say yes.”

You name the first chick flick you can think of and he sucks in a sharp breath through
clenched teeth as he looks down at you.

“You sure?”

“Uh huh,” you assure.

“I know you only suggested that because you thought I’d hate it, but the joke’s on you
because I actually like that movie,” Eren says, smug. He presses his arms a little tighter
against his chest and you can’t control the way your eyes trail down to his flexed forearms.

“Right,” you say quickly, looking back down at the pan to hide the way he flusters you. “I’m
almost finished up here, do you want to grab some plates?”

He hums in response, kicking off from the counter to look through Reiner’s cupboards until
he finds plates. You load up each of the plates with the meal you prepared and the two of you
bring the dishes over to the couch and fire up the tv.
“Does Netflix even have it?” Eren asks around a mouthful of food as you search through
movies.

“I think so,” you say, unsure. “What should we watch if it’s not on here?”

“I’m good with literally anything,” he says with a shrug. You silently hover the cursor over a
rom-com and look over at him with a smirk. “You know what, if you really wanna watch
that, it’s fine.”

“Wow, really,” you whistle. “You’re gonna cave that easy?”

He scrunches his nose at you teasingly. “Don’t expect me to get all sappy and teary over
this.”

***

“Kirstein.”

The snapping of fingers near Jean’s face jolts him out of his focus. He sits back in his chair,
pulling his headphones out of his ears as he looks over at Petra standing beside his cubicle.

“I finished that shit you asked me to do already,” he sighs, rubbing his eyes with his hand.
“Hange hasn’t reviewed it yet, so I dunno how it is but —”

“I’m not here about the Reeves job,” she says, raising a hand to cut him off.

“Ok,” he says hesitantly, crossing his arms over his chest. “What then?”

“Can you go drop his stuff off at Reiner’s house? Management has decided to expedite his
departure.” Jean makes a face of displeasure as Petra gestures to the box of Reiner’s things at
her feet. “I already packed everything up, I just need you to go drop it off.”

“How am I supposed to do that?” Jean asks with a huff. “Just leave it outside of his door?”

“Uh, no.” Petra looks at him strangely. She refreshes his memory by saying your name, first
and last, low and slow until it clicks — you are at Reiner’s.

“Oh, yeah, I can drop it off,” Jean says, sitting up a little taller. “I’ll leave it with her.”

“Thanks,” Petra’s lips twitch up slightly in relief before returning to her neutral expression.
“Have you talked with her recently? How’s she doing?”

Jean’s mind flashes back to the evening you spent together and he has to rub his hand across
his mouth to hide his face. “She’s good.”

“Do you think she’s going to come back?”

“Why would she?” Jean asks, pressing his lips together into a tight line.

Petra’s head cocks slightly to the side, but she says nothing.
“I heard it’s year-end,” Jean says, filling the awkward silence. “Did you get that promotion
you were hoping for?”

He watches as Petra’s face turns bright red and he immediately regrets asking. She looks
away from him before responding, “No, unfortunately… but congratulations on becoming a
Senior.”

“Thanks,” Jean says, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. “But, you know it’s because
—”

“Whatever,” she snaps, turning back to face him. “It doesn’t matter.”

Jean frowns, “Look, I know I’m only skating by because of my dad’s reputation… but that’s
not what I want. I want to be praised for being good at my job because I’m actually good at
my job.”

“Ok, well, then don’t work at Titan,” Petra scoffs. “Erwin only sees you as a Kirstein — same
with all of the other partners. If you want to break free of your family’s reputation, you need
to go work at some small, local firm or something.”

“Let me help,” Jean offers, reclining back in his chair as he turns to fully face Petra. “Tell me
what I can do to help us get over the finish line with the Reeves job. I can do it — I can
help.”

Petra eyes Jean warily for a moment before crumpling forward with a sigh. “You’re not very
technically strong, so you’re causing more issues by working on the detail testing, so stay out
of those spreadsheets, ok?”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Petra says with a dismissive handwave. “But, you and I went around and did all of
the narrative interviews for the process documents… so you could help out with those reports
if you want.”

Jean’s face lights up, “Really?”

She nods, lips pursed in consideration. “Yeah, you were with me during my talks with all of
the directors, so you should have a good understanding of the Company for the report… Can
you do that? It needs to be done tonight.”

Jean nods earnestly, sitting up in his seat in excitement. “Yeah, of course. I can do that — let
me do it.”

“Ok, it’s yours then, Jean,” she says with a chuckle. “Just don’t fuck it up.”

“I won’t,” he says, giddy as he turns back to his computer.

She gestures again to the box at her feet before heading back in the direction of her cubicle.
“Don’t forget about Reiner’s stuff!”
Jean opens up the unfinished report in the file that Petra just assigned him. He scrolls through
the document, scanning all of the required fields, and sighs, rubbing at his eyes.

He can do this — he knows he can. It’s just a lot of work that he’s not used to doing… but if
he wants to prove himself, he has to do this… but then he looks down at the box of Reiner’s
things, tapping his fingers on his thighs in thought.

***

Eren spends half of the movie hiding the tears in his eyes. It’s only when he sniffles
especially loudly that you finally say something.

“I thought you said you weren’t going to get teary over this movie.”

He clears his throat, shifting his face away from your gaze. “I’m not — it’s allergies.”

“Right,” you tsk, biting back a grin. “Maybe it’s from that little bouquet of flowers you
bought me,” you nod toward it on the table behind you two. “Maybe I should throw it out.”

“You shouldn’t do that,” he says quickly. “Wait until all the flowers die, at least.”

You laugh, “I’m just joking.”

“You like these kinds of movies?” he asks, gesturing vaguely to the screen as the two of you
watch the characters’ dramatic love declaration. “Isn’t it a little over the top?”

“Not all of them are like this,” you snort. “But it’s nice to see a happily ever after, especially
when two people work so hard to get there together.”

“Right,” Eren says, the disbelief evident in his tone.

With a mischievous smirk, you scoot a little closer to him on the couch and jab him in the
chest. “Come on, don’t act like you didn’t like it.”

“Hey, I never said that,” Eren laughs. He lays his arm across the back of the couch, fingertips
gently brushing your arm and nudging you closer to his side. “I just thought it was dramatic.”

“Love is dramatic,” you explain with another jab.

“Ouch, hey!” he whines in mock outrage, arm slipping around your shoulders. “That hurts!”

“What?” you ask with another jab, accompanied by a giggle. “This?”

“You’re a brat,” he tsks, but he’s smiling as you swing your legs up across his lap.

You keep trying to jab his chest but he deflects you with his free hand, swatting away your
finger with exaggerated sword-noises from his mouth.

Your giggles turn into full laughter as you fall into him, your cheek pressed into his chest.
“God, you are a nerd.”
“Not a nerd… I’m very cool, actually.”

“Right, my mistake,” you giggle.

Eren squeezes you a little tighter into his chest with his arm wrapped around your shoulders.
You allow yourself to melt into him for a moment, enjoying the feeling of being so close to
someone who’s so important to you. His other hand rests on your leg and gently rubs up and
down along your thigh.

“What are you thinking?” he hums, pressing his lips against the side of your head.

“I’m thinking about how much I like sitting here with you,” you admit, eyes fluttering closed.
“Thinking about how I like hanging out with you like this… how I wish we did this more
instead of just fucking all the time.”

He laughs. “Yeah, me too.”

You grab a fistful of his shirt as you pull your head away from his chest to look up at his face.
His brows are pitched upward in uncertainty as he tugs his lower lip between his teeth, and
you feel your heart thundering in your chest.

You already know what he’s about to ask from the way his eyes trail down to your lips, but
you feel your breath catch in your throat when you hear him speak.

“Can I kiss you?”

You swallow thickly and give him the smallest nod that you can imagine. He still looks
uncertain when he leans forward, brushing his nose against your cheek.

You know this is a bad idea — even though Jean said he was ok with it, you shouldn’t do
this.

“Are you sure?” his breath is hot on your skin when he speaks, and you tilt your head until
your lips are ghosting across his.

But you can’t help yourself. You answer him by pressing your lips against his.

Eren feels like home. He pulls you tighter against his chest as you wrap your arms around his
neck, holding him close as your lips move against his.

You let your mind fall blank as he kisses you — soft and slow — like he’s savouring your
taste before he dives in for more. He shifts you with his hands until you’re fully sitting in his
lap and his arms are wrapped around your waist.

You will yourself to forget the messages from the group chat. You just want to forget
everything you saw and enjoy the kiss with Eren. You’ve been wanting this for so long and it
feels so different from your kiss with Jean yesterday.

Eren doesn’t try to deepen the kiss with his tongue. He doesn’t grind you into his lap and he
doesn’t grope your ass the way that he usually does, but somehow the kiss still has your heart
racing and your palms sweating.

You want to sit here with him and just enjoy the closeness and intimacy. Just like that
morning you spent together in the hotel, where you just held each other and kissed like
nothing else in the world mattered.

But you know that’s not the case, and no matter how hard you try to forget — the group chat,
Titan, Jean — you can’t. You clutch at his shirt tighter to hold on to this moment with Eren
before it slips away — you can already feel your brow creasing and your body tensing.

He pulls away from you, cupping your cheek in his hand, and he looks down at you with the
softest expression you’ve ever seen on his features. He almost seems hurt.

“Are you ok?”

You bite your lip and look away. “I don’t know, Eren…”

“Do you forgive me? I need to hear you say it,” he says softly and you sigh.

He lets you slip out of his grasp, settling back into your own cushion on the couch and you
sigh heavily.

“It’s hard for me to be with you without thinking about those messages,” you say and he
flinches. “Even now when we were kissing… I had to keep reminding myself not to think
about that Eren and to focus on you.”

“Is there something that I can do?”

“I just —” You wrap your arms around yourself, hugging yourself tightly around the waist. “I
feel like you’re doing all the right things and you’re saying everything I want to hear, but it
doesn’t feel genuine… I know you got a lot of advice from Armin on what to do and it’s good
advice… but I want to know how you feel.”

He looks away from you, resting his elbows on his knees and cradling his head in his hands.

“Not any more of this bullshit you rehearsed with Armin. I want to know your thoughts and
your feelings, Eren.”

He nods, running both hands through his hair but keeping his gaze forward. “You want to
know how I feel?” he asks, and he almost sounds angry.

“Yes, Eren.”

“I told you that being with you makes me want to be better, but now here I am, trying to be
better — and you’re holding my past against me like I’m not capable of changing,” he spits
— as if he’s been holding this bubbling anger inside of him all this time, and it’s just now
finally bursting.

“It’s not fair. I feel like you’re telling me that just because I made mistakes when I was
fucking twenty to cope with some traumatic shit, I’m just fucked for the rest of my life. I
want to be better — I’m trying to be better, and I have the rest of my life to do that. I
understand if you need time, but don’t write me off for things I did when I genuinely didn’t
know better.

"How much time do you need? Six months? A year? Ten years? How long do I have to wait
for this arbitrary milestone where I change from bad to good? I just want to know that there’s
a future where you no longer look at me like you’re about to throw up.” Eren emphasizes his
point by turning toward you, brows furrowed as his eyes darken in sorrow.

“I know you’re disgusted by what you saw and — yeah, fuck, so am I! I hate the guy I used
to be! If I could go back in time and shake some sense into him, I would, but I can’t! So
instead, I’m just trying to be a better person today — and tomorrow — and every other day
for the rest of my life.”

He thumbs at his nose, sniffing back tears, and you feel yourself wishing you could disappear
into the ground to avoid seeing the pain and desperation in his face as he speaks.

“I’m trying to change and be someone I can be proud of. Someone that can be vulnerable and
deserving of love, and I’m trying to prove that to you because I want to be with you so badly,
I can’t think about anything else.

"I just wish you could see beyond the mistakes from my past and see me for who I am —
right now — here, in front of you.”

Eren opens up his arms and ends his statement with a heavy sigh.

“I love you,” he says when you blink up at him in silence, “and I’m trying so fucking hard to
keep you in my life because you mean so much to me and I don’t want to lose you because
I’ve taken you for granted. When I think about life without you, it hurts. Things don’t feel as
bright if you’re not there with me to share it with. When I picture my future, I see you there
with me and I want you there with me!”

Eren crumples forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He presses the heel of his hands into
his cheeks and curls his fingers up into his hair as he groans.

“I don’t want to lose you and I’m trying to keep you in my life. I know that it was selfish not
to tell you the truth right away — I was hiding it because I knew you would leave me if you
knew… I knew you wouldn’t want anything to do with me… I knew you’d hate me.”

Eren chokes, head low as he speaks and you feel your heart twisting.

“I just hoped that maybe you could forgive me the way that you’ve forgiven Jean and that
maybe we could start over and that maybe … maybe we could be happy together… but that
doesn’t seem likely anymore.”

His body shudders through shaky breaths and Eren’s entire body is trembling. You reach
forward to rest your hand on his shoulder, but he jerks away and lifts his head to face you.
“Do you want to be with me or are you just keeping me around until Jean decides that he
wants you?”

You frown, “Eren —”

“You deserve better than someone who can’t make up their fucking mind about whether they
want to be with you or not,” he snaps. “You deserve — so fucking much — and I want to be
the person that gives that to you, but I feel like you don’t want me if there’s a possibility that
you can have Jean, instead.”

“Stop bringing him up,” you say, squeezing yourself tighter.

“I have to,” Eren says. “Because I know how important he is to you.”

You swallow thickly, breaking away from Eren’s intense eye contact to cower into yourself.

“He’s your best friend — I get that. I know there isn’t a world where he’s not in your life and
that’s ok, but I feel like I’m doing all this work to prove myself to you but you’ll still always
see me as second place.”

You feel embarrassed — ashamed — guilty… so you deflect.

“Eren, it’s been two days. You don’t really expect me to forgive you that quickly, do you? I
need time to process everything.”

He nods, but his lips are pressed into a tight thin line. “So is that what you want? Space? You
want me to leave?”

“Eren, I…” You keep your head low, feeling sick over what you’re about to say next. “Yeah,
I think you should leave.”

He inhales sharply through his nostrils and you can see him recoiling from your words as if
you had struck him. Eren opens his mouth like he’s about to speak, but then snaps it shut,
pressing his lips into a tight line as he sits up from his chair.

You stay, crumpled into yourself on the couch as he walks to the door, and leaves.

***

With his long legs, it doesn’t take Jean long to reach Reiner’s apartment, and since he’s a
well-dressed man with his arms full, one of the tenants holds the door open for him so he
doesn’t have to ask for you to buzz him in.

He thumbs the button to call the elevator and then stands back to wait for it to arrive, fingers
tapping against the bottom of the box as he holds it against his chest.

“Jean?”

He looks over at the sound of his name to see Eren sitting nearby on one of the chairs in the
foyer of the building — he looks like shit.
“Oh, Eren… do you live here?” Jean asks, pursing his lips in confusion as he watches Eren
rub at his face with his hands. “I thought your dad bought you some fancy condo.”

“Yeah, he did,” he says and his voice sounds hoarse.

Jean watches Eren closely as he sits up from his chair, rubbing at his face again before
running both hands through his hair to pull it away from his face.

“You look like shit.”

“I feel like shit,” Eren laughs, sniffing sharply through his nose. He keeps his face low and
his eyes on the floor as he stuffs his hands in his pockets. “Tough day.”

“I thought things were chill in consulting?”

“Yeah.”

Jean glances back over at the elevator, wishing it would hurry up and save him from this
awkward conversation, but it’s still making its way down. He swallows thickly, turning back
to Eren and he observes the way Eren’s body seems to be crumpled in on itself.

Jean and Eren used to be best friends, so even though they’re not on good terms right now
and they’re both hooking up with the same girl, he can't help but feel concerned.

“You good, man?” he asks, brows furrowed.

“I’m sorry about everything,” Eren says, coughing to clear his throat. “You’re right, I’m an
asshole — I deserve this.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Fuck, this feels bad,” he laughs but it’s forced. “What was that shit you and Armin used to
always say? Karma…? Fuck off with that bullshit.”

Jean just stares at Eren, unsure of what to say when Eren is pacing the lobby like a madman.

“I thought I was overreacting. I thought I was just being childish and stupid and I was going
to call her to let me back up to apologize, but then I see you walk in?” Eren laughs but it’s
completely devoid of humour and Jean crinkles his brow at him.

“She deserves to be happy and for some fucking reason, she’s happy with you,” Eren says
thumbing at his nose. “You better not break her heart or I’ll…”

His threat doesn’t seem as menacing as usual when his voice cracks around every word.

The elevator dings at his side, doors sliding open as Jean processes Eren’s words. “Eren, what
—”

“You should go,” Eren waves Jean off, turning to walk out of the foyer. “She’s waiting for
you.”
He rubs at his face again just before leaving and Jean realizes that Eren’s crying.
 Choices
Chapter Notes

cw: Explicit language, little bit of angst

See the end of the chapter for more notes

“J-Jean?”

You look up at him in shock as he smiles down at you. He gently nudges up the box in his
hands, nodding down toward it as he stands in the doorway to Reiner’s apartment.

“I’m dropping off Reiner’s stuff from the office,” he explains.

You step aside to let him walk into the apartment, closing the door behind him as your mind
reels with thoughts. You’re still trying to get your mind wrapped around the conversation you
just had with Eren — why is Jean here all of a sudden?

Jean sets Reiner’s box of things down on the dining room table, settling his hands on his hips
as he looks around the apartment. His eyes linger on the two dishes still laid on the coffee
table and the credits of the movie that you paused from when Eren was over.

“Did you have a visitor?” he asks, looking over at you.

“No,” you answer quickly, shutting off the TV and grabbing the dishes to put away in the
dishwasher. “I’m just a mess.”

You don’t want to explain to Jean what just happened with Eren — you can’t. What are you
supposed to tell him?

Yes, I had Eren over and I was just sitting in his lap making out with him. Why don’t you
come over here and kiss me too, Jean?

The thought almost makes you scoff. Especially after Jean accused you of still sleeping with
Eren the other day when he was over — you don’t want to give him even more reasons to get
upset with you.

Jean hums in response, watching you carefully as you tidy up the kitchen. “Is it ok that I’m
here?” he asks and you nod furiously.

“Yes, yes, of course!”

He takes off his suit jacket and sets it across the back of one of the dining room chairs before
sitting down. He fiddles with the box as he watches you putter around, throwing things in the
dishwasher before furiously cleaning up the dishes in the sink.

“You good?”

“Yeah, no, totally!” you squeak, back facing Jean and he hums noncommittally.

“Do you want me to leave? You seem busy.”

“No, no,” you shut off the water quickly, shaking your hands dry with a tea towel. “Sorry, I’m
just all frazzled,” you say with a huff, crossing your arms over your chest and leaning back
against the counter, finally facing Jean.

He rolls his tongue against his cheek in thought, opening his mouth to speak, but then his
eyes drift down to your shirt and his gaze hardens.

“I thought you were going to get rid of that shirt.”

You look down in alarm, as if you didn’t even realize what you were wearing. “I was — I
am!”

He stands up and approaches you in a few long strides, hands resting behind you on the
counter, caging you in.

He scans your face for any signs that the two of you were intimate. You’re obviously
flustered, but that could just be from nervousness. Your lips aren’t plump and swollen and
your neck looks to be free of any marks when hooks his finger into the neck of your shirt and
tugs it to expose your collarbones.

“What are you doing?” you ask, fidgeting nervously under Jean’s gaze.

“I saw Eren downstairs.”

“Nothing happened,” you say quickly. You shift your gaze off to the side as he tugs the
neckline of your shirt a little more, exposing your full shoulder.

“Are you still talking with Eren about work stuff?” Jean asks, shifting his hand from your
shoulder to the counter behind you, trapping you against it with his body. “I told you you
could talk to me about that kind of thing, now.”

“I know,” you say quickly, pulling your shirt back over your shoulder and wrapping your
arms around yourself protectively. “Eren and I didn’t even really talk about work, we just
hung out.”

“Hung out?”

You nod, sucking your cheek into your mouth as you look at Jean with narrowed eyes. “Are
you jealous?”

“I thought you said you weren’t seeing him anymore,” Jean says instead of answering your
question and he watches you shrink against the counter.
“I said that I wasn’t sleeping with him anymore,” you say, clearing your throat. “We’re just
friends… you have nothing to worry about.”

“Ok,” he says with a sigh, standing up to his full height and pressing his hands off of the
counter. He takes a step back and leans against the adjacent countertop, rolling his tongue
against his cheek as he looks down at you. “You’re making it hard for me to feel comfortable
around you when you’re seeing another guy.”

“Nothing happened,” you repeat, but you’re looking at the floor when you speak. “We just
had dinner and watched a movie.”

Jean hums in disbelief and you nod earnestly. “That’s really unlike Eren.”

“He’s the one that suggested it,” you explain. “We haven’t done anything physical, I told
you.”

Jean cocks a brow and bites at his cheek. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you insist, turning back to the sink to finish the dishes. “Why do you have Reiner’s
stuff?” you ask over the sound of rushing water.

Jean can tell that you’re desperate to change the subject and it makes him wonder what
you’re hiding. He can’t quite tell if you’re lying to him — but you must be. There’s no way
Eren came over here without making a move on you.

But he lets you change the subject. “Petra gave it to me to return to Reiner. They cleaned out
his desk,” he says.

“Should I tell him?”

“Nah,” Jean scoffs, running a hand through his hair. “Don’t ruin his vacation. You can tell
him when he gets back.” You hum in response, keeping your head low as you focus on your
task. “Have you talked to him much?”

“No, not since he left,” you answer. “Reiner and I don’t really talk that much outside of
work.”

“Liar,” Jean tsks. “How else would he trust you enough to housesit for him if you aren’t
friends?”

“That’s just how Reiner is,” you say, looking over at Jean as you clean off a plate. “You
should know, you’re friends with him, too.”

Jean watches your demeanor shift at his accusation — you’re looking him in the eye now,
whereas before with Eren you kept your head down. He frowns at the realization that
everything you just said about Eren was a lie.

So, the two of you did hook up.

“Barely,” Jean says, shrugging in an attempt to hide the way the revelation shakes him. “We
were friends years ago when he went to Paradis, but when he transferred back to Marley we
lost touch.”

Jean watches you carefully as you clean off the dishes. You look so small and innocent,
especially in Eren’s oversized shirt. He thinks back to his conversation with Eren in the foyer
and swallows thickly. Eren seemed really upset when he saw Jean.

From Eren’s point of view, it probably looked like you called Jean for a booty call
immediately after finishing with Eren. The idea makes Jean seethe with jealousy — why did
he have to get stuck with Eren’s sloppy seconds?

But Eren seemed really upset, so Jean knows that’s not all that happened between the two of
you.

What happened when the two of you were alone together?

Jean snaps out of his trance when you shut the water off for the sink. You dry your hands on a
nearby tea towel before walking over to Reiner’s box of things from the office.

Looking over your shoulder at Jean, you ask, “Where do you think I should put this stuff?”

“Maybe just in his room until he gets back?” he suggests and he watches your eyes dart to the
side and Jean follows your gaze to Reiner’s bed in the corner of the studio apartment. It’s
partitioned off from the rest of the room by a translucent room divider, but it’s angled in such
a way that Jean can see into the entire “room”.

“Right,” he chuckles, eyes darting back to you. “I guess just put it wherever then.”

“I’ll leave it here,” you shrug, looking into the box and pulling out a stack of photos. “I
usually eat in front of the TV, anyway.”

Jean watches as you flip through the photos, the ones that Reiner had hung up in his office.
Even from a distance, Jean can recognize the people in the photos. There’s one of the Scouts
Hockey Team from when Reiner was at Paradis, another of him with the Warriors, and then
one with him and his group of friends from Marley: Bertolt, Annie, Pieck, and Porco.

“I didn’t realize Reiner and Pieck were friends until we went out to Trost,” you say, holding
out the photo as you look over your shoulder at Jean. “I’ve never seen those two talk before.”

“Really?” Jean hums, kicking off from where he’s leaning on the counter to stand next to you
by the table. “You must not have been paying attention. Those two are always together.”

“Really?” you scoff and Jean laughs.

“You must’ve been too busy thinking I was flirting with her to notice,” Jean teases, allowing
himself to wrap his arms around your waist. “So jealous of some girl I broke up with years
ago that you didn’t notice anything else around you,” he teases, resting his chin on your
shoulder.
“She flirted with you all the time,” you insist, setting the photos back down in the box. “And
you flirted back, you know.”

“Maybe,” he concedes, pressing his lips against your neck. He can feel your pulse jump
under his lips and his mouth curves up into a smile. “So, what?”

“It was annoying,” you say, and even though he can’t see your face, he knows you’re
pouting.

“You’re cute when you’re jealous,” he says, the words slipping out before he has a chance to
think about them. You twist in his hold, turning until your chest is pressed against his and
your hands are cupping his face, guiding his head towards yours.

“So are you,” you hum and Jean succumbs to the urge to kiss you — overcome with the need
to claim you after knowing that you were here with Eren, moments before.

The kiss starts soft and slow as you cradle Jean’s head in your hands. His grip around your
waist tightens when you slip your tongue into his mouth and he makes a small, pleased sound
from his throat when you push yourself up onto your toes to kiss him deeper.

Part of you feels guilty about kissing Jean like this after you were just sitting in Eren’s lap,
but you try to rationalize it by telling yourself that you’re not dating either of the boys right
now. If you kiss Eren in the morning and Jean in the evening, that’s ok… right?

You briefly wonder if Jean can taste Eren on your lips, but when his fingers slide under the
hem of your shirt to press into the bare skin of your lower back, you completely lose your
train of thought.

Jean steps you back until your ass hits the dining table before grasping you around the waist
to lift you up until you’re seated on it. He nudges himself between your thighs and pulls you
tight against his body as he ravages you.

You find yourself moaning softly into his mouth and feel the corners of his lips twitching in
amusement. You move to pull away in embarrassment but he pushes further forward, nipping
at your lower lip and dragging it out with him as he pulls away.

When your lip snaps back against your teeth, you blink up at him with dazed eyes to see him
smirking in amusement.

“You’re such an asshole,” you groan, rolling your eyes. He laughs and dips his head against
your neck, kissing you softly there before lifting up again. “What happened to, we can’t do
this?”

“I lied,” he hums, shrugging.

“You’re lucky I forgive you,” you say, wrinkling your nose at him, but you feel a chill run
down your spine.

Eren’s right — Jean’s been fucking you around these past few weeks but you always forgive
him. You’re always looking for a reason to welcome him back into your arms, but you’re not
willing to give the same grace to Eren for his crimes.

Is it because you don’t think what Jean has done is as bad? Do you even know the extent of
Jean’s sins? It seems like he’s always hiding something from you. You decide that you owe it
to Eren to treat Jean with the same attitude that you’ve been giving him these past few days.

You clear your throat, sitting up a little taller on the table as Jean looks down at you with
wide eyes. “Jean, we need to talk.”

“Uh oh,” he tsks, but he’s smiling — he’s not taking this seriously.

“I really want to be with you, Jean. It feels like there are all these roadblocks that are keeping
us from being fully honest with one another, and it’s making us get stuck in this weird limbo
where we argue until we start making out… I don’t like that.”

He straightens out, looking down at you in consideration. “Ok… honesty? Sure. You first.”

You bite your cheek, feeling heat flood into your cheeks from his words — you first. Of
course, he’d want to hear what you have to say first, it’s your idea, after all.

“It makes me uncomfortable when you talk with Pieck,” you say, for starters. “I know we all
work together and you’re trying to be polite, but to me, it doesn’t feel like you’re just being
professional with her. I would feel better about your guys’ relationship if there was some
distance between the two of you.”

Jean sighs, visibly annoyed, and you know it’s because you won’t let go of the whole Pieck
thing… but it bothers you, so you want to bring it up with him. You want to have this
conversation with him to clear all the grievances the two of you have so you can be stronger
when you move forward with each other.

“If Pieck and I get put on a job together, I’m going to have to talk to her.”

“I know… but just, don’t go for lunch with her anymore. Or let her touch you… Or flirt with
you.”

He smiles, resting his hands on your shoulders before sliding them down to your arms. He
gives you a small, comforting squeeze as he says, “Ok, I’ll keep it professional.”

“Thank you,” you say, smiling back as you feel some weight lift off of your shoulders. “Your
turn.”

He rolls his tongue against his cheek, looking up at the ceiling in thought, but you know it’s
all an act — you already know what he’s going to say.

“I don’t like it when you talk to Eren,” he says after some feigned thought. “I don’t like the
two of you hanging out alone together, I don’t like you texting him or calling him, and I don’t
want you to see him anymore.”

You suck in a sharp breath — those are some hard boundaries. “Can we compromise about
this?”
“I don’t really see a world where we can,” he hums, pursing his lips. “He gets off on the fact
that hanging out with you pisses me off. He’s so childish that he can’t let go of this stupid
grudge we have for one another and he’s using you as a pawn in his little game — I don’t
think you should talk to him anymore.”

You frown, feeling your heart rate jump from his words. You don’t believe that’s true — not
after these past few days with Eren — but you decide not to argue for the sake of your
relationship with Jean.

“Can I at least tell him what’s going on?” you ask. “I don’t want to just ghost him.”

Jean frowns but he nods. “Yeah, fine. You can see him one last time to end things — and
obviously don’t kiss him or anything,” you scoff but Jean continues, “and you need to give
him back this shirt.”

To emphasize his point, he pulls at the shoulders of the shirt, lifting it slightly off your frame
before dropping it back down.

“Your turn,” he says, eyes flicking back up to your face.

“I get that you didn’t like me and Eren hanging out,” you start, resting your hands in your lap
as you fidget anxiously. “But I kinda got the impression that you were doing things to… to
sabotage us.”

Jean’s eyebrows shoot into his hairline. “Oh?”

You look down into your lap, feeling heat burn in your cheeks. “Well, you lied about the
group chat —”

“I didn’t mean to, I thought it was true.”

You shrug. “Ok, but that’s a really serious accusation to make, regardless.”

“Eren’s capable of this type of shit. You don’t know him like I do.”

“I guess not,” you hum, still looking down at your hands. To be fair to Jean, there was a
group chat… but it just didn’t match what Jean had told you.

“Back when we were in Trost… Eren got really mad at you when he found out you were
buying me coffee,” you continue. “I didn’t really think anything of it at the time… but it
stuck with me.”

“Ok,” Jean says, voice laced with uncertainty.

“Were you… throwing out the coffees that Eren was getting me?” you ask finally, looking up
at Jean with a pained expression. He snorts and you feel heat flood into your cheeks. “I know,
it sounds stupid — but I can’t stop thinking about it and I need to know.”

He rolls his eyes. “No, I wasn’t throwing out your coffee — Jesus, why would you think
that?”
“I don’t know,” you scramble. “It just seemed really weird to me that Eren would get so mad
like that.”

“That’s just what Eren’s like,” Jean insists, waving his hand in dismissal. You want to accept
his answer, but something about his demeanor is making you question his honesty.

“My turn?” he presses, and after a beat of consideration, you nod. There’s no reason why
Jean would lie to you about something so petty — you must just be a little on edge after his
previous request.

“I don’t like that you use sex as a way to deflect from how you’re feeling.”

You look up at him in alarm, recoiling slightly from his words. “What?”

“Whenever emotions are high — after the restaurant… back in Trost when Hange was rude
to you… even yesterday when we were talking on the couch! — you always try to deflect
talking about things with sex.”

You stumble around a response, feeling heat flood your cheeks from Jean’s accusation —
that’s not true, is it?

“I like having sex with you,” he assures, hands slipping down to grab your waist, “but when
we’re trying to work things out, I’d rather talk.”

“I didn’t realize I did that,” you admit, blinking up at him. He just offers you a small nod in
response and you dart your eyes back down into your lap. “Yeah, I can stop — I didn’t know
I was doing that, sorry.”

“It’s ok, like I said, I like having sex with you,” he says with a smile. “Just when you do that,
sometimes it makes me feel like you don’t care if it’s me or… whoever that’s making you feel
better.”

“I’m sorry,” you say again with a deep frown. “I didn’t know —”

“Your turn,” he smiles, squeezing you gently around the middle.

“I only have one other thing,” you say sheepishly and he laughs.

“Really?” he asks and you nod.

“I just… I want you to give us a chance, Jean,” you say, voice getting quieter with every
word. “I know things will work out between us, especially now that everything is out in the
open, and I just really want us to give it a chance. You and me — boyfriend and girlfriend —
please.”

You feel a little pathetic begging him for this, but it’s all you’ve ever wanted and you don’t
want to give up. Jean is your person, you know from the way he makes you feel when you’re
around him and how kind and thoughtful he’s always been.
Things have been rocky recently because of the added Eren Jaeger element, but once he’s out
of the picture, you know things will work out.

Jean sighs heavily and you prepare yourself for the worst.

“I don’t think we should jump into anything. One little conversation isn’t just going to
magically solve all our problems,” he says. “Maybe we can slowly ease our way into it. Start
out as friends again until things are back to normal and then maybe give it another shot when
the dust settles.”

You frown, but he’s right — that’s probably the best way to approach things. Especially
because you still need to officially end things with Eren and sort out what you’re going to do
about Titan. And then there’s your potential trip to Hizaru…

You decide not to say anything about that to Jean just yet.

“Ok,” you concede. “We can do that — let’s be friends again.”

“Great!” Jean says, smiling down at you.

“So, do you want to stay the night?” you ask cheekily and he frowns.

“My turn, again?” he asks instead and you roll your eyes in mock annoyance. “It’s my last
one, don’t worry.”

“Yeah, ok. Lay it on me.”

“I really want to talk about the night at the restaurant,” he says, swallowing thickly and you
still. “I wanted to talk about it with you the other day and I don’t think I approached it the
right way, but I don’t want to just forget about it.”

“What about it do you want to talk about?” you ask, eyes darting away from Jean’s face.

“Are you really ok with what happened? You’re not upset with me?”

You shake your head but keep your gaze low. “I told you already, I understand why you
reacted like that. I don’t see what the big deal is.”

“You’re not afraid of me?” he asks, and his tone is laced with concern. “I just don’t want you
to think that I’m ever going to hurt you or freak out like that ever again. That was a one-time
thing and I promise, it’s never going to happen again.”

“I believe you,” you nod. From the corner of your eye, you can tell he’s looking at you
closely, but you keep your gaze low.

In all honesty, it was scary. Seeing Jean explode like that was terrifying and you’re happy that
the worst thing that happened was Jean’s black eye — things could have easily ended up
much worse. You think about how different things would be if one of the boys had gotten
seriously injured… if one of them had to go to the hospital.
“I hope I didn’t shatter your perception of me,” he says with a chuckle, trying to keep things
lighthearted. “I used to be a really shitty kid growing up, but I’m not like that anymore.”

He sighs, rubbing the back of his head. “At least, I hope I’m not. I’m older and wiser now,
right? So, I shouldn’t be getting into brawls anymore like I did as a kid. Or doing any of the
shit I did back then, for that matter.”

You laugh a little with him, eyes finally darting up to meet his face. “Yeah? You’re finally
gonna admit that you’re not this villain that you keep painting yourself as?”

He breathes out a heavy sigh, looking at you with raised eyebrows. “Jury’s still out on that
one, but I’d like to think I’m getting better — like take work for example!” He breaks out
into an excited grin and you feel butterflies in your stomach.

“I asked Petra if I could help her out with some more of the outstanding stuff for the Reeves
job so I can prove myself to her,” he says proudly. “I don’t want everyone to think that I’m
just some spoiled, nepo-baby.”

“That’s awesome, Jean!” you say cheerfully, grinning back at him.

“I actually should probably get back to the office,” he says, lifting his hand from your waist
to look at his wristwatch. “Shit, it’s late.”

“You’re going back now?”

“I have to,” he sighs, but he brings his hand up to rub at his face. When he returns it back to
your waist, you can see the weight of exhaustion on his face. You wonder how much he’s
been working as a result of your absence — the thought makes you sick with guilt.

“Just stay the night,” you insist, seriously, this time. “Get a good night’s rest here and head
into work early in the morning — I’m sure Petra will be fine with it.”

He hesitates, rolling his tongue against his cheek in thought. “I don’t really want to sleep on
the couch.”

“We can sleep in the bed together,” you offer and he gives you a look.

“Friends,” he reminds you with a tsk.

“We’ve slept in bed together before as just friends,” you remind him and he rolls his eyes.
“Come on, you won’t get home until after midnight at this rate, and you’re already
exhausted.”

“I don’t remember ever sleeping together before… well… sleeping together.”

“I’m sure we did at least once,” you say dismissively.

“Fine. Twist my rubber arm,” he sighs and you grin. “I’ll stay, but keep your hands to
yourself.”
He shakes his finger in your face in a mock scolding manner and you giggle. “Ok, ok, I
promise!”

Jean pushes your hands away from where they’ve settled on the waistband of his slacks and
takes a step back from you entirely. “Nothing’s going to happen, ok?” The grin he flashes you
is contagious and you feel your heart thumping in your chest. “I’m going to go take a shower
and cool off — maybe you should take one, too.”

“We could do it together?” you purr and Jean has to bite his tongue to hold back his groan.

“Stop that, you temptress,” he scolds and you giggle as he pulls his tie off and throws it at
you on the table.

Jean retreats to the bathroom, leaving you alone on the table. With a sigh, you hop off and
head to the bed.

Alone with your thoughts, you let your mind wander over your conversation with Eren before
Jean arrived.

You feel terrible after hearing the way he felt — he was right, you were being harsh on him
— but at the same time, you feel like your hesitance is justified. It almost feels like he
expects you to forgive him just because the two of you have been on a couple of cute dates.

Sure, you want to forgive him, but it’s not that easy…. You hope he understands that.

His comments about Jean, however, make you feel really guilty. Maybe there's some truth in
his accusations that you’re holding his past against him, despite everything he’s done to show
you he’s changed because you need an excuse to run away from him and back to Jean.

You love Jean, you know that.

You’ve loved him for so long, you can’t imagine what your life would be like without him —
especially now that you’ve moved past just friends. But he keeps trying to push you away
and keep you from furthering your relationship. No matter how much you try to convince
him to give it a shot, he keeps pulling back and putting up walls to prevent the two of you
from getting closer.

You wish that Jean would love you the way Eren loves you.

You wish Jean would be as open and honest with you as Eren is. That he would be willing to
admit his fault and take steps to be better and to change himself to the type of person you
know he’s capable of being.

You wish Jean would hold you the way that Eren does and get you flowers, too — even
though it’s just a small gesture, you can’t help but feel disappointed that Jean doesn’t seem to
think of you outside of when you’re together the way that Eren does.

You groan, burying your face in the blankets as thoughts bounce around your head. You don’t
want to compare the two boys because this isn’t a competition — you love Jean and you want
to be with him. Eren shouldn’t matter.
The sound of the bathroom door opening snaps you back to reality and you lower the
blankets from your face. You eye the entryway of Reiner’s room cautiously as you wait for
Jean to walk into view, and when he does, you feel your jaw drop.

“I realized I don’t have a clean set of clothes here,” Jean explains, face blushing as he walks
into the room with nothing but a towel tied around his waist. His hair is wet and plastered
against his forehead and neck, still dripping from the shower and you let your eyes follow the
path of one of the drops, from the end of his hair, past his collarbone, down his chest, and
then —

“Do you think Reiner would mind if I borrowed his clothes?” Jean asks, snapping your
attention back to his face.

“Um, no, I don’t think so,” you say, stammering and stuttering as you try not to openly ogle
at him. “I can do a load of laundry before he gets back, so you can just borrow whatever.”

Jean hums in response, crossing to the other end of the room to open up one of Reiner’s
drawers. You watch the muscles in his back flexing as he searches through the drawers and
try to will yourself not to get too hot from the sight of Jean’s bare back.

“I’m just going to borrow a pair of underwear and a dress shirt,” Jean says, pulling out the
clothes from Reiner’s drawers. “I can’t wear the same shirt at work tomorrow.”

“Right,” you say, eyes still fixed on him as he squirms at the foot of your bed.

“Are you going to watch me get dressed?”

Jean’s words have you flushing in embarrassment and you quickly look away, stammering
again. “Shit, I’m sorry.”

He laughs and you clench your eyes shut tightly as you hear his towel drop to the ground.
“It’s ok, it’s really flattering.” You don’t look back until you feel his weight on the bed and
the blankets shuffling as he lays beside you. “I’ve seen you check me out before, it’s fine.”

You squeak in embarrassment, looking over at Jean with a tight frown. “You’ve noticed
before?”

“You’re pretty obvious about it,” he laughs, rolling his tongue against his cheek. “Even in the
fuckin’ office, I always catch you staring at my dick.”

“Oh my God,” you whine, burying your face in your hands in embarrassment and it only
makes Jean laugh harder. “I didn’t realize I was so obvious about my crush on you.”

“Honestly, I was clueless,” he laughs, settling on his side, facing you, and propping his head
up with his hand. “I could tell you thought I was hot, but I didn’t think you actually had any
feelings for me.”

You look over at him in disbelief, arms crossed over your chest. “You’re so stupid,” you say,
rolling your eyes.
“And you still like me,” Jean teases, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you
tight against his chest on the bed. He kisses you softly on the forehead before you get a
chance to push his face away. “What’s that say about you, huh? That you like stupid men?”

“It means that I’m destined for heartbreak,” you say with a dramatic sigh and Jean frowns
down at you.

“Alright, ok — no need to make me feel worse than I do.” Jean huffs and rolls onto his back,
one hand still hooked behind his head as he drags you with him until you’re lying on his
chest.

“See? Even now,” you say, poking him in the chest. “Nothing’s going to happen. We’re just
friends,” you say, pitching your voice lower to imitate Jean as you bobble your head. “But
come lay on top of me in bed — that’s totally platonic.”

“Ok,” Jean tsks and you break out into a fit of giggles. “I can leave,” he taunts but you secure
yourself with your thighs on either side of his hips.

“No, you can’t — I’ve trapped you.”

Jean squirms beneath you, gasping and grunting comically as he pretends like you’re too
strong to be thrown off. “Ah — curses! It looks like I’m stuck here.”

You snort, pushing yourself up with your palms on his chest to loom over him, and the way
you shift on his lap has Jean groaning for real.

“Hey, easy,” he warns, hands lowering to still your hips.

You smile down at him wistfully and lift a hand from his chest to card through his hair. Jean
looks up at you, pressing his lips into a tight, thin line as he watches your eyes scan his face.

“I like this Jean,” you say quietly. “My goofy, fun best friend who always knows how to
make me laugh.”

He sighs heavily, eyes dropping down to your lips as he squeezes your hips a little tighter.
“Yeah,” he says through gritted teeth. “I like this Jean, too.”

“See how easy this is?”

You tilt his head upward before leaning down. You brush your nose against his softly, eyes
fluttering closed before you press your lips forward. Jean shifts his grip from your hips,
wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you flush against his body as his lips move
softly along yours.

You can already hear Jean mentally scolding you — just friends! — but it doesn’t stop him
from returning your kiss, deepening it with swipes of his tongue against yours until you’re
moaning into his mouth and curling your hands into tight fists on his chest.

You love this — you love him. All of your emotions are bubbling up as you feel the warmth
of his body pressed against yours. You imagine lazy mornings wrapped in the sheets with
Jean, drinking coffee at the table together, and kissing in the car before work.

You imagine what it would be like to lace your hands with his and call him yours. What
holidays and birthdays would feel like — celebrating them with Jean and making memories
and traditions that the two of you could continue year after year.

The thought makes your heart swell with happiness and against your better judgment, you
find yourself pulling away from the kiss and looking down at Jean with dreamy eyes.

“I love you,” you whisper quietly against his lips, and Jean sucks in a sharp breath.

“Fuck.”

“Oh,” you say, deadpan — instantly pulling away.

“No — that’s not —” Jean tries to keep you close but you squirm out of his grip and off of
him, moving to your side of the bed and rolling until your back faces him. “Hey, come on —”

“Jean,” you snap, shrugging his hand off of your shoulder when he tries to touch you, “I
don’t want to fight with you — let’s just forget it. I shouldn’t have said that, I just thought…”

He takes in another slow breath, hand hovering over your body before he sighs heavily and
lays flat on his back. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You are hurting me,” you say, sniffling softly.

Despite not wanting to fight, Jean watches as you twist around to face him, eyes lit up with
anger and frustration. “I just don’t understand what’s going on with you,” you say. “Why do
we have to go slow? Can’t you see how badly I want to be with you? Just trust me, Jean —
you’re spending so much time worrying about the future that you can’t enjoy the present.”

“I don’t know,” Jean shrugs. “I know that’s a shitty answer, but I just don’t know.”

You sigh heavily and shake your head, twisting back to your other side, but Jean stills you
with a firm hand on your arm.

“I want this, too — I know I do a bad job of showing it, but I do,” he insists, brows furrowed.
“It’s hard for me to fight for you when all I can think about is all of the damage I could cause
you.”

“I already told you, I don’t care.”

“I do,” Jean says firmly. “I don’t want to hurt you — even this is fucking hard for me. I don’t
understand why you think things would be easy between us — nothing’s ever been easy in
my fucking life.”

“Life is hard,” you say, brows furrowing. “Even as friends, you and I might hurt each other,
but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be friends, right?”
 Jean doesn’t answer, he just loosens his grip on your arm and purses his lips in thought. You
watch his expression soften as he looks over at you. “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he
concedes, but it doesn’t sound like he’s fully convinced.

“You had no problem dating Pieck or any other girl before her… why are you so worried
about hurting me?”

“I don’t know,” he says honestly, shifting his gaze away from you. “You’re just so different
— I can’t explain it. I hardly talk to any of those girls anymore… I don’t want that to happen
with you and me, I want you to be in my life forever.”

“Do you hear yourself?” you ask, eyes lighting up in amusement. “That’s so romantic, Jean.”

He groans, rolling his eyes and flopping onto his back on the bed, covering his face with his
arms. “You’re making this so hard,” he says, voice muffled behind his arms.

“You’re making it hard,” you counter and Jean just huffs in response. “I’m tired of arguing
with you about the same thing.”

“Let’s go to bed, I have to be at the office early tomorrow,” Jean says finally, pulling his arms
down and away from his face.

“Ok, fine,” you huff, sitting up to shut off the bedside light. “Are you going to cuddle with
me or do you wanna build a pillow wall.”

“Fuck off,” he groans, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling your back flush
against his chest. He presses his face into the crook of your neck, kissing you softly as he
squeezes you tight. “Friends can cuddle.”

“ Yeah, this is totally platonic,” you agree and you can practically hear Jean’s eyes rolling
behind you.

Chapter End Notes

Edit: Sorry everyone for any silly mistakes! I went on another hiking trip this weekend
and didn't have much time on Monday evening to clean up the chapter, but all the key
points are here so I'm not too worried about it.

I'm also done with my vacations until Christmas time, so I should be more active on

them 🥰
Tumblr again! If you wanna send me asks, requests, etc. I'm always happy to receive
buuuuut I'm really slow about responding to requests because I'm working on
some other WIPs, so please be patient with me!

much as I love writing it 🥺

Thank you all so much for 50k views!! I'm so lucky that you all love reading this as
I want to kiss you all!! And I cannot BELIEVE the timing
of the finale aot episode (as per the leaks) on November 4!! That's gonna be a big week
for us between the finale episode of the anime and the final chapter of this fic!!

Please go check out this art by toxrez on Tumblr of Reader, Jean and Eren that I'm
absolutely obsessed with 😳
 Resemblances (e)
Chapter Notes

cw: Angst, explicit language, explicit sexual content (fingering, oral, vaginal sex, dirty
talk, multiple orgasms, edging?)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Jean wakes up in the morning to the sunlight shining in his eyes. He lifts his hand to shield
his face as he rolls over onto his back, blinking until his vision clears up from his sleepy
haze.

Right, he spent the night with you at Reiner’s, that’s why nothing looks familiar in here.

He glances over to his side and sees you curled up next to him. The two of you must’ve been
cuddling all night, he thinks as he looks down at you. You look so soft and peaceful when
you sleep, it’s an expression he hasn’t seen on your face in a long time.

Ever since things started getting bad at Titan, you’re always frowning or frazzled, but right
now you finally look at peace. Jean wonders if it’s because you’re on stress leave or just
because you’re sleeping, and if your face will contort back into your forever furrowed brow
and pursed lips when you awake.

He hopes that you decide at the end of this to quit your job at Titan. Jean knows how freaked
out you are about quitting your job and being left with nothing, but can’t you realize how
much damage this job is causing you? You literally had a panic attack at the airport the other
day — how was that not a giant wake-up call for you?

Jean finds himself brushing your hair out of your face, looking down at you with soft
adoration as he watches your chest rising and falling from your steady breaths. You're still
wearing Eren’s fucking shirt, but he’s decided he’s not going to make a big deal about it. Not
after all of the lies he told you yesterday during your conversation about honesty... he's such a
piece of shit.

He reaches his hand between his legs to palm at his morning wood — fuck — he was hoping
it would’ve gone away by now, but it’s only gotten worse. He attributes it to waking up
curled against your body and the smell of your shampoo on the pillow.

He groans softly from the wet feeling of precum against his thigh and he shuffles on the bed,
careful not to wake you as he tries to sneak out, but the sunlight from the window is hitting
your eyes too, and he watches them flutter open as you stare directly at Jean.

“Are you leaving?” you croak, rubbing your eyes with one hand as you start to sit up on the
bed.
Shit. He fidgets on the bed to try to hide his boner as he stumbles around a response. “I just
woke up, I was going to go take a shower.”

“You showered yesterday,” you say, immediately calling Jean’s bluff despite your sleepy
haze.

Jean watches as your gaze travels down from Jean’s face to the tent in the sheets and a
devious grin grows across your face. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” he winces, looking away nervously. “Sorry, it’s a morning thing.”

“Do you want help with that?”

He bites his tongue as he feels his cock throbbing against his leg from the way you’re looking
at him with those sleepy, seductive eyes. How are you so fucking sexy first thing in the
morning?

“We shouldn’t,” Jean says, but he’s already scooching closer to you on the bed, wrapping one
arm around your waist as you reach out to press your hand on his thigh. “We don’t really
have time to do anything, I have to get ready for work.”

“Your alarm hasn’t even gone off yet,” you say, gently rubbing your hand up and down his
thigh, opposite from where his cock is laying. "And neither of us are emotional or drunk or
anything right now, right? So, it's ok."

“Just friends,” he scolds, but he’s throbbing against his leg from the way you’re looking at
him.

“It’s nothing we haven’t done before,” you rationalize.

Jean nudges both hands under your shirt and helps guide it up over your head before tossing
it onto the ground. He’s hardly aware that he’s even doing it until he sees your bare breasts in
front of him — shit, what happened to we can’t do this?

You don’t complain though, guiding Jean’s hand to your breast as your other hand finally
slides against his cock. Jean sucks in a sharp breath at the contact, squeezing you gently and
watching as your nipples harden from his touch.

“One second,” he says, immediately pulling away. He leans over the side of the bed, pulling
open Reiner’s beside drawer and rummaging around inside. When the one on his side of the
bed turns up empty, he swings back around and throws his body over yours to rummage
through the drawer on your side.

“What are you doing?” you ask, confused as Jean slams the drawer shut.

“Ugh, fucking virgin. He doesn’t have any lube,” Jean groans, running a hand through his
hair. He glances over at your face and watches as it twists in excitement from the implication
of his search.
“I’ll just have to take some time to warm you up properly then,” he says, settling back on the
bed beside you. He lays facing you and grabs your thigh to sling it over his hips before he
reaches back and grabs a handful of your ass. “Is that ok?”

You tug your lip between your teeth, nodding as you look at him with wide eyes. You reach
your hand down the front of his chest to grope at his cock just as his hand slides down the
back of your shorts.

Jean grabs a handful of your ass, squeezing it tightly as you jerk your palm along his length.
He takes slow, heavy breaths through his nostrils as he feels his cheeks start to flush in
arousal. He looks down at your face to admire your half-lidded glazed look and grunts when
he feels a bead of precum leak from his tip.

“You’re so hot,” he mumbles, leaning forward to kiss along your jaw. “Even first thing in the
morning.”

“Thank you,” you hum, rocking your hips back and forth as his hands start to grope the back
of your thigh. “So are you.”

The compliment makes him blush, but he masks it by ducking his head against your neck to
press his lips against your throat. He slides his hand up and down the back of your thigh,
inching his hand between your legs as you squeeze down on his hip with your knee.

“Be careful, Jean,” you warn, and he pauses. “I don’t want us to break Reiner’s bed.”

He snorts, fingers brushing gently against your folds to spread the slick between your legs.
“I’m not going to break his bed, Jesus.”

“I know how rough you get,” you say, punctuating your words by squeezing his cock a little
tighter.

“I’ll be gentle,” he says, spreading you open with two fingers and feeling you shudder in his
arms. He rubs the soft folds with the pads of his fingers until you’re rocking your hips back
into his palm, and then he presses the tip of his middle finger to your entrance.

“I’ll take good care of you, now that I have you all to myself,” he says, tone dipping an
octave as he slips a finger into your body. You whimper at the feeling, hand gripping him
tighter and he sucks in a sharp breath. With his other arm, he wraps it around your waist to
pull you tighter against his chest. You lose your grip on his cock, regretfully, but now it’s
pressed against your stomach and he can feel himself making a mess on your skin with his
precum.

“No more roommates interrupting us,” he says, gently working his finger in and out as your
hands curl against his chest. “No more sneaky hookups.” You laugh at this, but when he
pushes a second finger into you it dissolves into a breathless moan. “No more drunken
clumsiness,” he continues.

He sinks his teeth into your skin, right where your neck meets your shoulder, and your body
arches into him. “How does that sound?” he whispers against your skin as his fingers gently
work inside you.

“Good,” you respond, just a breathless gasp and Jean finds himself rocking his hips forward
to grind his aching cock against your body.

“Yeah?” he goads, working his fingers a little faster. You whimper in response, burying your
face into his chest as he pants into your ear.

Your body tries to suck him in every time he pulls out and it makes him shudder against you.
He tries to keep his pace slow and teasing — he just wants to get you wet and worked up for
him, and from the sounds you’re making, he thinks he’s doing a pretty good job.

“Talk to me,” he says, pressing a kiss behind your ear. “Does it feel good?”

“Yeah,” you moan, and he can tell you’re in a haze from how hot your skin feels against his.
“Really good.”

“Uh-huh,” he says, closing his eyes so he can focus on the wet sounds of his fingers pumping
into your pussy. “Keep going.”

“I want more,” you whimper, hips shifting backward against his hand, causing your stomach
to press harder against his cock and he groans. “Please.”

“Greedy,” he tsks, and he scissors his fingers against your tight walls to the sounds of your
moaning approval. “Does it feel this good when you touch yourself?”

“No,” you answer quickly, and now you’re panting against his chest. “You feel — s-so much
better.”

He grins at the way your voice starts to stutter and he pulls both fingers out of your pussy,
covered in your slick, and he rubs them across your folds. “Uh-huh,” he encourages when
you whine. “And what do you think about?”

“You.”

“What about me?”

Your hips are rocking back and forth against his hand, desperate to have his fingers back
inside of you, and each movement has you grinding against his cock. Jean sucks in a sharp
breath through clenched teeth, twitching against your stomach, but he still keeps teasing you.

“Riding you,” you whimper and he swallows thickly.

“Yeah?” he hums. “Think about that a lot?”

“Yeah,” another breathless moan when his fingers slip against your clit.

“Is that your favourite fantasy?”

“Yeah,” this time, it’s a whine when the pads of his fingers press firmly against your clit,
rubbing softly from side to side.

“And why’s that?”

“I like —” your breathing stutters. “I like seeing your face — I like making you feel good.”

He groans, leaking more against your stomach as his fingers slide back to your entrance. This
time he slips a third in and you moan loudly from the stretch. “You think you can take me?”

“Yeah,” you nod, pressing your mouth against his neck. You start licking and sucking on the
sensitive skin and sending Jean into a frenzy. “I can take all of you.”

“Yeah, I know you can,” he says, strained as his fingers work a little faster.

You’re already so wet and stretched from his teasing. It hasn’t been long since the last time
the two of you had sex, so he knows he doesn’t need to spend too much time doing this —
but he’s having so much fun, it’s hard to stop.

He can feel you tightening around his fingers and he can tell you’re close. “Aw, are you
gonna cum for me already?”

“Yeah,” you whimper. You’re not even trying to hide how desperate you are and it’s making
Jean’s head spin.

“Turns you on to get stretched out for my cock, huh?” he teases, and from the way you
squirm, he can tell you like it. “You always cum so fast when I’ve got my fingers in you.”

You can only offer him a strangled whine in response and he chuckles.

“It’s ok, I want you to,” he hums, kissing your cheek. “Cum all over my hand so I can clean it
up with my tongue.”

You suck in a sudden sharp breath before moaning into his shoulder. Jean feels your body
tense against his and your pussy squeeze around his fingers, coating his fingers in more slick
and making him groan against your cheek as you cum on his fingers.

“That’s it,” he encourages, keeping a steady rhythm in tandem with the way your hips fuck
back into his hand. “That’s my girl.”

You come down from your orgasm with a whimper and Jean pulls his fingers from inside of
you slowly. He brings it up to his face and the two of you look at the way his hand glistens
from your arousal, dripping down from his fingers to his palm and the sight has him tugging
his lip between his teeth.

“Lay on your back for me,” he says, licking his fingers and watching as your eyes dilate until
they’ve gone almost completely black. “Let me clean up the mess you made.”

You roll over onto your back and Jean shifts his position until he’s kneeling between your
thighs, pulling your shorts and your panties off and tossing them off the side of the bed with
his boxers. He gives himself a few firm strokes — just to alleviate some of the ache — before
he places both hands on your body.

He starts by wrapping his hands around your neck and your body arches up for him, head
thrown back until both of his large palms are pressed into your skin. “Fuck,” he hisses,
squeezing gently before sliding his palms down to your shoulders, then down to your breasts.

Jean cups them in his palms, thumbs rubbing back and forth over your hardened nipples, and
Jean has to swallow to stop from drooling all over you. He slides hands down your torso,
squeezing you gently at the smallest point of your waist, before sliding down between your
legs and grabbing your inner thighs in each hand.

He lifts them up against your chest, “Hold yourself open for me.”

He watches your hands grip the backs of your knees, pulling your legs tight against your
chest and exposing yourself to him — but it’s not enough.

Jean grabs the backs of your thighs and spreads your legs open until they're sprawled on
either side of you. “Like this,” he insists, eyes flicking up to your face.

He can tell you’re embarrassed, exposing yourself for him like this, but he knows you’ll
forget all about your shame once he gets a taste — so he gets to work.

Jean gets down on his stomach between your legs, propping himself up on his forearms and
palming the mess from your pussy, spreading it all across your flushed cunt.

“You have such a fucking pretty pussy,” he groans, and his voice is heavy with lust.

“Jean,” you whimper, and he slips a finger inside of you and then darts his eyes back up to
your face.

“What?” he hums, innocent as his finger hooks up against that soft, spongey front wall of
your cunt.

You spasm from the feeling and he watches you bite your lip hard and throw your head back.

“Do you want me to stop?” he repeats as his finger curls against that spot repeatedly.

“N-No,” you choke out and he grins.

He removes his finger from inside of you so he can place both hands on your inner thighs,
spreading you open even more so he can look inside of you — see how stretched and slick
you are for him.

“Ugh, fuck,” he groans, and he can’t help himself from leaning forward, eyes fluttering shut,
to press his mouth against your cunt. Jean makes out with your pussy, lips moving softly
against your skin as his tongue teases at your entrance.

You’re moaning and saying something to him, but he can’t even hear you from how lost he is
from the feeling of your silky wetness against his mouth. You sound so sexy — you taste so
sexy — you smell so sexy. Jean feels like an animal, wanting to shove his tongue as deep
inside of you as he can, just so he can taste every inch of you.

He pulls back for air and he can feel his cheeks burning in arousal as the thick, sweet scent of
your pussy floods his senses. You’re like the sweetest, most delicious dessert he’s ever had
and he wants to stay down between your legs until he passes out.

One of your hands slips from their hold on your leg to tangle in the hair on his head. He
groans against your skin as you tug, and he presses the palm of one hand against your
unrestrained leg to keep you spread open for him as he dives back in.

“Right there, right there,” he hears you say through the haze of his arousal and from the way
you’re clenching against him, he can tell you’re getting close again.

But this time, instead of maintaining his rhythm, he pulls away.

You whine desperately from the lack of contact, trying to force his head back against you but
he brushes your hand away, watching with half-lidded eyes as your pussy clenches around
nothing, and all he can think about is how pretty you’d look stuffed with his cock.

His eyes flick back up to your face and the sight of you fucked out for him has his cock
twitching against his stomach. “Jean,” you whimper and he crawls up the bed to cage you
between his arms.

“I thought you wanted to ride me?” he smirks before lowering his face down against yours,
kissing you sloppily and flooding you with the taste of yourself.

You hum against his lips, arms and legs wrapping around his body as Jean’s hand snakes
under your hips. He rolls the two of you over together until he’s flat on his back and you’re
straddling above him, and it’s only then that you pull away from the kiss.

“I wanna watch you cum,” he says, voice low as you sit yourself up on his lap, hands
pressing against the hard muscles of his abdomen. “I want you to use me.”

“Ok,” you respond, breath shaky as his hands rub up and down your thighs. You sit up on
your knees, reaching down with one hand to pull his cock upright and guiding it to your
entrance.

“Yeah,” he groans, watching you rub the head of his cock between your folds to coat it with
your slick. “Just like that — sit on it.”

You sink down on his cock and Jean chokes out a moan. His grip on your thighs tightens as
he tries to keep his eyes from rolling back into his head, trying to keep them focused on the
way your pussy swallows his cock.

“Holy shit,” he groans, watching you slowly take him inch-by-inch until you’re seated on his
lap.

“I told you,” you tsk, smug, and Jean’s eyes dart up to your face. His cock twitches inside of
you and he watches your face twist from the feeling.
“Come on,” he nods, hands shifting to your hips. “Show me how you ride it.”

You inch your hands higher up his body until your palms are pressed on his chest. You lift
your hips up, whining from the drag of his cock against your tight walls, before slowly
lowering yourself back down.

Jean hisses from the feeling, this time throwing his head back and clenching his eyes shut as
he feels you squeeze around him. “Fuck,” he groans, and he can hear you chuckling above
him.

You lift your hips up again before slamming them back down — over and over again until
you’ve built a rhythm on his cock and each bounce has your ass slapping against his thighs.

Jean can’t control his moans from the way you feel wrapped around his cock. He wants to
open his eyes to watch you bouncing on his dick but you feel too fucking good and he knows
he’s going to lose it if he sees you.

He shifts his feet on the bed, angling his hips slightly and you cry out in pleasure, collapsing
forward onto his chest.

His eyes fly open as you pant into his shoulder and holy fuck, you just got so much tighter
around him.

“Are you ok?” he asks tentatively, looking down at you in alarm as your hands fist against his
chest.

“You —” you gasp around every word, “that was so — so fucking deep.”

You sit back up before Jean can say anything further, hands pressed against his abs, and he
watches you bounce on his cock again, this time moaning out loudly every time your hips
press against his.

“So fucking deep, Jean,” you repeat, eyes closed as you throw your head back.

Jean’s jaw drops as he watches you ride him, bouncing back against his cock needily as your
pussy squeezes around him. He’s not even sure where to put his hands — he wants to grab all
of you at once.

He looks up at you in stunned silence, watching as you chase your orgasm as you desperately
roll your hips down against him. The sounds you’re making are fucking feral and he can see
sweat trailing down your face and neck from the exertion.

Jean starts panting as he watches you. The way your tight walls cling around his length has
his balls growing tight with their impending release but he doesn’t want to ruin this for you,
so he bites his lip to hold himself back.

You’re making such a mess in his lap — sticky, translucent strings of arousal connecting your
bodies as your pussy coats his cock in creamy white. The sight has him twitching inside of
you, face flushed and burning in arousal as you chase your high.
Each bounce of your hips has you squeezing tighter and tighter around him and Jean is losing
his fucking mind he’s so close.

“A-Are you gonna cum?” he asks, more of a desperate whimper than his usual deep husky
voice.

“So close,” you moan, and the sound of your voice has even more pressure building in his
gut.

“Fuck,” he whimpers, throwing his head back and gripping your hips in his palms tightly. “I
need to cum — I’m so fucking —” he whines, but your pace doesn’t even stutter.

“I’m so close, Jean,” you pant.

“Please, please,” he begs, squirming beneath you. “I need you to cum — please, fuck, I’m —
I’m —”

Jean sucks in a sharp breath through clenched teeth as he whimpers, squeezing his eyes shut
tight as he tries to think of anything that will hold back his orgasm but every one of his senses
are flooded with you.

“Almost, Jean,” you pant, hips bouncing against his lap with a loud slap! “I’m right fucking
there.”

His whimpering gets louder and more desperate and Jean can feel his face flushing in
embarrassment. “Please, please, please. Come on, I can’t — I can’t hold it —”

Jean brings a hand up to his mouth, biting hard at his knuckles as his cock twitches inside of
you. “Oh, fuck, I’m right there — please, please,” he begs, back arching up off the mattress.
“I’m gonna cum inside you,” he chokes, desperate.

His writing shifts the angle of his cock once more in a way that has you screaming and crying
out his name. He barely has time to pull out when he feels you clenching around him,
gripping your hips tightly and pulling you up and off of him. With a desperate moan, he feels
his slick cock sliding against your ass and he finally lets himself cum.

Jean grips your hips with both hands, digging his heels into the mattress as he grinds against
your ass — shooting thick ropes of cum all over himself and you, whimpering and panting
with each throb of his cock.

You fall forward against his chest and he keeps bucking his hips against you you, spilling so
much cum that he can feel it leaking down the sides of his shaft. His gut squeezes tight with
every wave of his orgasm and his body shudders beneath you before finally falling limp.

The two of you lay there, mindless and boneless in a heap of sweat and skin. You feel like
you can’t catch your breath, taking huge gulps of air as your head spins. You can feel the
mess of fluids dripping from between your thighs and his cum sliding down your ass. In a
brief moment of clarity, you think about how you're going to have to make sure you clean
these sheets before Reiner gets home, but then you feel Jean's cum sliding against your clit
and you lose all train of thought.

Jean recovers faster than you do, and he rolls the two of you over until you’re lying on your
back with him pressed against you. “Holy fuck,” he hisses, propping himself up on his
forearms to look down at you. “Holy fuck,” he repeats.

You laugh, wanting to say something cheeky in response but you still feel hazy.

Jean kisses you softly and you barely have the strength to return it. He shifts next to your
cheek, then across your jaw, then down your neck.

“Jean,” you whine when you feel him littering kissing down your chest, hands grabbing at
your thighs to spread yourself open for him again.

“Huh?” he hums, stilling with his lips pressed against your navel.

“I can’t right now,” you say, blinking down at him with hazy eyes. “I need a break.”

“I was just gonna clean you up,” he says, and it almost sounds like he’s pouting but he rests
his head on your stomach instead, cheek pressed against your skin as his arms rest against
your hips.

You card your fingers through his hair softly and you can feel his eyelashes flutter against
your skin when his eyes shut. Your heart thumps steadily in your chest as you gently toy with
his hair, enjoying the soft, tender moment in your post-sex bliss.

You’re not sure how long the two of you lay together like that before Jean’s eyes flutter open
again.

“Oh, shit, it’s getting late — I gotta go,” Jean groans, lifting his head off of your stomach
when he catches sight of the clock on Reiner’s bedside table. You whine in protest but make
no move to stop him as he crawls out of bed and starts pulling on his clothes.

“Are you busy today?” you ask, wrapping yourself up in the blanket as you sit up.

“I just gotta finish that report and then some shit for the Reeves job, but nothing too crazy.”

“Do you wanna come over again tonight?”

He glances over his shoulder at you with a frown, adjusting his pants on his hips and
buckling his belt. He tsks your name, shaking his head before turning forward to pull on one
of Reiner’s dress shirts.

“I’m just kidding,” you offer with a scoff, although you definitely weren’t. You watch Jean
stuff the ends of Reiner’s shirt into his pants, it’s a little baggier on him than Jean’s usual
shirts, but for the most part, it looks ok.

Jean throws on his blazer before fixing his hair in the mirror, smoothing it out from where
you had tugged it out of place. “I’ll come by tomorrow after work, how about?”
“Ok,” you squeak cheerfully, sitting up a little taller in the bed.

Once Jean has finished preening himself he starts to head out, collecting his tie from the
kitchen and doing it up quickly as you pad out of bed behind him. “When do you work?” he
asks, glancing down at you.

“Soon. I should probably get cleaned up.” You clutch the blanket tighter around your chest as
you look up at Jean with eager, expectant eyes.

“Ok, well… I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says with a shrug, grabbing his bag off the table and
slinging it over his shoulder. “If you need anything, just text me or call me, ok?” You nod,
still trailing after him as he walks towards the front door. Jean slides on his shoes and then
looks down at you questioningly. “What?”

“Can I get a kiss before you leave?”

Your words send a flood of colour to Jean’s face and you watch his throat bob nervously.
“Oh, hey, come on,” he starts, stammering over his words. “We’re just friends, remember?”

You roll your eyes and push yourself up onto your toes so your face is closer to his. “Jean,
you literally just had your head between my thighs, I think the ship has sailed on the whole
just friends thing.”

He clicks his tongue, annoyed, but cups your face in his hands all the same. “Fine, but — we
really can’t do this.”

“Whatever,” you say, pushing forward the last few inches until your lips are pressed together.
You expect it to be a quick, chaste kiss, but Jean pulls you closer and deepens it until you're
softly moaning into his mouth — it’s only then that he pulls away.

“See you tomorrow,” he says curtly, spinning on his heel and leaving out the door while your
head is still hazy from his kiss.

***

When Jean gets to work, he boots up his laptop immediately, not even bothering to getting a
coffee. He needs to get this report done quickly before Petra comes in.

He opens up his work project app and scrolls through the documents until he finds what he’s
looking for, double-clicking it open and waiting for the file to load. As his screen is filled
with the document, Jean pauses. He scrolls through the file, brows furrowing in confusion as
he reads the text on the screen — this wasn’t here last night.

Jean skims through the whole file before he realizes that someone else worked on it last
night. He feels his face flushing in embarrassment at the thought that someone else had to
pick up his slack and he immediately rushes over to Petra’s desk — there’s no chance it was
her, is there?

Unexpectedly, he finds her already seated at her desk, typing away at another report as Jean
pulls up a chair to sit next to her. “Hey, Petra, that report —”
She turns to look at him with a blank expression, eyes half-lidded with dark bags underneath
them. Jean pauses in shock, just staring at her with a mouth hanging open as he takes in her
disheveled appearance.

She sighs, rubbing at her eyes with both hands before speaking. “Look, Kirstein… don’t tell
me you’re going to work on something if you have no intention of actually getting it done.”

“I was going to work on it this morning, I swear!”

“I told you it had to be done yesterday,” she snaps, causing Jean to clamp his mouth shut and
look down in shame. “Let’s not pretend anymore, ok?”

“Am I in trouble?” he asks quietly, feeling like a child.

“No, you’re not in trouble,” she says. “You’ll never be in trouble, Kirstein.” Petra huffs and
turns back to her computer, effectively dismissing Jean and ending the conversation.

Jean gets up from the chair and walks back to his desk with his head hanging low. He
collapses down into his chair and rests his face in his hands with a low groan.

He just keeps fucking everything up — with you, with work, and with his family.

He can’t be the perfect son that his father wants him to be. The same cut-throat, narcissistic
guy that Jean Sr. is.

He’s bad at his job but he’s coasting through the ranks, even when he should be fucking fired
for his incompetence, all because Erwin is excited to have a Kirstein working at Titan.

And you — fuck.

Thinking about you for too long makes Jean’s heart twist in his chest. He should be happy
that you want to be with him. You’re literally begging for him to push aside his stupid
insecurities and to just let himself be with you — but he can’t — he just can’t.

He lied to you last night… he lied a lot.

You asked him to be open and honest with you to clear the air between the two of you, and he
still couldn’t bring himself to do it. He’s the one making your relationship complicated, but
he can’t help it. All he can think of when he looks at you is a future where he’s sitting drunk
on the couch while you putter around the house — cleaning up his mess, taking care of his
kids — just a hollow shell of your former self.

He knows that he needs to be better for you, but he doesn't know how.

Jean finds himself sitting up from his chair and marching down the hall, hardly thinking as he
walks. He crosses to the other side of the floor and walks past unfamiliar cubicles until he
sees the familiar, small dark bun that he’s looking for.

“Eren,” he hisses, pulling up a chair and rolling next to him.

Eren pulls out his headphones before looking over at Jean — he still looks like shit, Jean
notes — and immediately scowls and waves his hand in dismissal. “Leave me alone, I have
work to do.”

“I want to talk to you.”

“Well, I don’t.” Eren turns back to face his computer and stuffs his earbuds back into his ears,
rigidly staring at the spreadsheet on his screen while Jean sits next to him.

Jean doesn’t move. He just reclines back in his chair and clasps his hands in his lap, tapping
his feet impatiently. Eren pretends to work but Jean can see the tension building in his
shoulders under Jean’s careful gaze.

With a snarl, Eren pulls his earbuds out again and turns on Jean. “What do you want?”

“I just wanna talk to you.”

Eren shakes his head, brows furrowed in confusion. “What the fuck, Jean?”

“Am I a bad person?”

Eren's frown deepens from Jean’s question and his eyes dart down toward his keyboard.
“Why are you asking me that?”

“We used to be friends,” Jean says, leaning forward until he rests his elbows on his knees. “I
need someone to be honest with me.”

“Yeah, well, not anymore.”

“But you know me better than anyone,” Jean insists, catching Eren’s gaze again. “I’m
serious. This is about —”

“I know,” Eren snaps, raising a hand to cut Jean off. “I know what this is about.”

You.

Eren sighs and runs his hands over his face, turning in his chair to face Jean slightly. “You
were a huge asshole when we were kids,” he starts, looking over at Jean with narrowed eyes.
“You used to beat the shit out of Armin all the time.”

“Yeah,” Jean nods, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

“I don't know what you're like anymore, but… I think you’re capable of being a good guy,
Jean,” Eren admits, face softening. “You don’t have to be like him.”

Jean feels himself crumple as he looks at Eren’s face and Eren reaches a comforting hand out
to rest on Jean’s shoulder. The two boys look at each other quietly as Jean considers Eren’s
words.

“Just don’t be a fucking idiot,” Eren scoffs but he’s smiling.

Jean laughs and reaches a hand out to clasp Eren’s shoulder, squeezing him firmly. “Easier
said than done.”

Eren nods in understanding and gives Jean a small squeeze in return. “How is she?” he asks
quietly. “Is she ok?”

“Yeah, she’s ok,” Jean says dismissively, leaning back and brushing Eren’s hand off of his
shoulder. “We spent the night together.”

Eren’s face crinkles but he says nothing.

“We’re going to give it another shot,” Jean continues, feeling a sick sense of satisfaction
when Eren’s eyes dart away. “We’re going to be happy together.”

“I hope you are,” Eren says quietly.

Jean wants a fight.

Despite running to Eren for comfort, he wants Eren to be mad at him — it’s what he
deserves. He wants Eren to throw up him against the wall and sock him in the face. He wants
a second black eye to match the first.

Eren’s the only person in Jean’s life that’s ever challenged him. The only person who ever
saw his faults and forced him to do better, even when it wasn’t easy.

You’ve always offered Jean reassuring words and comfort, but that’s not what he needs to
change and he’s desperate to have his old best friend back to guide him so he doesn’t keep
fucking up.

Jean needs someone in his life to give him a reality check. He wants to be punished for all the
shit he’s done to you, all the people he’s hurt — everything.

But Eren keeps his gaze on his monitor, fingers tapping his thighs awkwardly as Jean watches
him.

“Do you hate me?” Jean asks quietly, and Eren’s eyes dart back to his face.

“Because the girl I love loves you?” he asks with a hint of amusement, but his face is blank.
“Nah, all’s fair in love and war.”

“No,” Jean says. “Because of what I said to you back then.”

Eren presses his lips into a tight, thin line as he looks down into his lap. Jean watches Eren’s
knees bouncing, before he looks back up.

“That was really fucked up,” he says, and Jean winces. “You were my best friend. I never
expected you to say something like that.”

Jean nods, forcing himself to hold Eren’s gaze. “I was drunk —”

 “That’s not an excuse,” Eren shakes his head. “You have no idea how much I was suffering
— and then to hear you say that?” He looks back down at his lap with another shake of his
head. “No, Jean, I don’t hate you… I’ve never hated you. But you made me hate myself.”

Jean says nothing, physically biting his tongue as he watches Eren sigh heavily.

“I don’t know what she sees in you, but just please, don’t let her down,” Eren says,
swallowing thickly.

When Jean returns to his desk, he sees that there’s a new unread message in his inbox from
HERO Recruiting. He eyes it curiously — this is the company that’s been poaching all of the
consultants, he realizes.

Hi Jean,

We’re working with a forestry company in Liberio to find their next Accounting Coordinator.
This key role will aid the organization’s finance team and work closely with the Director of
Finance in several aspects of the Company’s financial operations with an emphasis on
financial reporting.

Looking at your profile, I wondered if you might be interested in a chat about this role and if
it aligns with your career goals.

Thanks,
Miche Zacharius
Lead Talent Consultant at HERO Recruiting

Jean drums his fingers on the table as he reads over the message again. They’re looking for
an accountant for a forestry company in Liberio… that was all the way in Marley.

Jean’s father doesn’t have as much influence and notability in Marley as compared to here. If
Jean were to move and work there, he’d have to get by on his own skill rather than riding
along on his father’s coattails.

He rolls the thought around in his head — starting out fresh somewhere new where nobody
associates him with his father’s legacy, getting an opportunity to make a name for himself…
a chance to prove himself.

If the two of you were together — as a real couple — then maybe you would come with him.
You could quit your job at Titan and move with him to Liberio and start fresh.

No more Eren fucking Jaeger. No more Titan. Just you and him.

The thought makes him smile and he quickly responds to the message.

Yes, I’m interested. Can you tell me more about the role?

Chapter End Notes

The dry spell is over!!

Also, turns out that I messed up the date of the final chapter and The Boys at Work is
actually going to end on October 31! This doesn't change the number of chapters, I just
miscounted the weeks when I originally announced the end date. I started writing
TBAW on November 1, 2022, so that will be exactly a year from start to finish and I
think that's really cool!!

Bonus scene:
The Point - Alternative version of chapter 29 where Jean and Reader hook up at The
Point (mature content)
 Honesty
Chapter Notes

cw: Explicit language

See the end of the chapter for more notes

You texted Eren in the morning after Jean left and then again when you got to work. After
finishing cleaning from the lunch rush, you check your phone again to see that he still hasn’t
responded.

You frown down at the screen before tucking it back into your apron. It’s unusual for him not
to message you back right away. Even when he’s busy, he usually takes the time to say
something, but you try not to let it get to you too much — you told him you wanted space,
after all.

You sent him a quick little, “Hey, wanna come by the shop?” this morning so you could
deliver the bad news.

Following your conversation with Jean from yesterday, you need to break things off with
Eren — officially. No excuses this time.

It feels like the hundredth time you’ve told yourself that.

Gotta end things with Eren. Need to stop talking to Eren. Have to do it.

But every time you try, you find yourself putting it off or making excuses. That’s not fair to
Jean, especially when the two of you are working so hard to be open and honest with one
another. This is the least you can do.

If you want to move forward in your relationship with Jean, you need to stop seeing Eren.
And you feel awful about it because of how hard Eren’s trying to change and everything he’s
done for you these past few months… but Eren will understand, right? You were only seeing
him so that you could make Jean jealous — that was the plan from the beginning.

Just because Eren’s changing things up, doesn’t mean you have to go along with it. Stick to
the plan, you remind yourself.

A faint buzzing in your front pocket has you dropping everything and scrambling for your
phone. You pull it out to check your notifications and feel a small tinge of disappointment
when the name on the screen isn’t the one you were expecting. Nonetheless, you swipe open
your phone to read the messages from Sasha.
GIRL!!!!
i hope everything is ok :( i’m sorry i didn’t check in sooner
i talked w jean and…………..
can i come see you today plz plz plz????

Sash :(
Don’t worry I’m ok
Yes! Come over after work today?
I’m housesitting for Reiner, I’ll text you the address

okieeeeee
love you <3

Love you too <3

You smile down at your phone before tucking it back into your apron. The message may not
have been from who you wanted it to be, but it was Sasha! You’re so happy to finally hear
from her.

It’ll be good to have a chance to talk with her. You’re hoping she’ll be able to help ease your
feelings and maybe she can help reassure Jean of whatever mental block he has that’s keeping
him from fully committing to you.

Although, you can’t help the twinge of sadness you get from realizing that it took her three
days to reach out to you. You understand that she’s busy with work, but she’s supposed to be
one of your best friends… and she didn’t think to reach out to once. Jean said he told Sasha
that you were busy with work, but she usually still texts you when you’re away, so her
absence these past few days has made you feel worse about your situation.

You think back to your conversation with Eren from the other day and how you shared with
him your insecurities about being an outsider in the friend group. You know you have no
reason to feel this way — they’ve always been welcoming and accepting of you since the
beginning — but you can’t help but feel like those three will always be better friends with
one another than they will be with you.

This message from Sasha, three days late, only further increases your worries.

“Hey, brat.”

You jump in surprise, turning around to see Levi leaning against the doorway of his office.
He’s been sitting in his office all day, only coming out to help you with some of the more
complicated orders, so you almost forgot he was here.

“Yes, Prof— I mean…” you stumble over your words, unsure of how to address him but he
just rolls his eyes and dismisses it with a wave of his hand.

“Did you decide what to do about Titan yet?”

“No, sir,” you say, turning to face him completely. You take a cursory glance toward to main
door, checking for customers, before leaning back against the counter. “I’m just going to take
a break for a bit with this stress leave thing, then I’ll go back.”

Levi’s eyes narrow when he looks at you and you feel like shrinking back against the wall.
“Why do you want to go back?”

You swallow nervously and fidget with your fingers as you cower under his gaze. “Well, I
just don’t want to give up.”

“It’s not giving up,” he snaps and you’re quickly reminded of your conversation with Jean
from the morning of your breakup. “You know that, right?”

You chuckle nervously, glancing off to the side to avoid his gaze.

“Hey, I asked you a question.”

“Sorry, I thought that was rhetorical,” you say quickly. You’re not sure what you did to get
Levi’s attention this afternoon, but you’re desperately wishing that he would return back to
his office and leave you alone. You can’t handle his sharp tone like this. “I thought you said I
needed to make the decision myself?”

“You do,” he says, “but make sure the decision is rooted in happiness, not obligation.”

When you don’t answer, Levi rolls his eyes again, clicking his tongue in his mouth, and the
two of you stand together in a thick, awkward silence. Your eyes dart back to the entrance,
desperately wishing for a customer to come in and save you from this interaction, but as
usual, there’s no one.

You swallow loudly and shift your gaze back to Levi before immediately shooting to the
floor when you realize that he’s still staring at you.

“What makes you happy?”

“I’m… sorry?” you jerk your eyebrows up in surprise but keep your eyes fixed on Levi’s
shoes.

“I said, what makes you happy?”

You fumble around a response, picking at a loose thread on your apron. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

You flinch from Levi’s harsh tone, finally looking up at him with a wince. “I like being with
my friends and watching movies,” you say, slowly and carefully. “I like going to the lake and
sitting by the fire. I like drinking coffee in the morning and wine at night. I like…”

You let your words trail off, feeling a flood of heat in your cheeks as your mind fills in the
remainder of your sentence. You like being with Eren and cuddling with Jean — but that’s
not really something you can say to your boss.
“It will be difficult to do those things when you’re working sixty-hour weeks at Titan,” Levi
says plainly and his eyes seem to soften a little as he speaks. “Do you realize what you’re
sacrificing by working in a place like that?”

You purse your lips in thought and look back down at the ground. You stay quiet for a
moment, hoping that Levi will fill the silence, but when he doesn’t, you say, “Is that why you
quit?”

Even with your eyes on the ground, you can see Levi’s body stiffen from your question.

“Yes, it is.”

His response surprises you and you immediately lift your head up, lips parted to ask a
hundred more questions but he’s already turning around, heading back into his office, and
shutting the door behind him.

You snap your mouth shut again, audibly pouting as you turn back to face the counter. You
were hoping that you could finally crack through Levi’s tough exterior. You can tell he has
some compassion for you and your situation, despite his harsh tone. If Petra was able to get
close enough to him that she could ask him for favours, you’re sure you’ll be able to crack a
little bit of information out of him these next few weeks — or however long you’re working
here for.

You rest your elbows on the counter and look out the front window as you brood with your
thoughts.

Levi is an adult — a full-grown adult in his thirties. Sure, you’re an adult, too — but you
somehow still feel like a kid most of the time. So hearing Levi insist that you need to find
happiness is hitting you harder than any of the advice you’ve gotten from other friends.

You always thought it was strange that Levi would quit Titan to work as a professor and be a
hockey coach at the university, but from your brief conversations with him this week, you’re
starting to understand him a little better.

He left because he wasn’t happy — and that was enough.

You sigh heavily and press your face into your palms, letting your eyes flutter shut as you
think about your life.

If you quit Titan, what would you do? You’re bad at your job.

Would things be better if you worked at a smaller firm? Reiner has repeatedly mentioned that
his friend, Bertolt, was happy working with his dad — you could be too, you think.

But then again, what if accounting just isn’t for you? You would have to go back to school
and get another degree — start from scratch. You’d have to go back to serving or working
here at Levi’s tea shop to earn enough money to pay for school and then you’d have to spend
another four years getting a new degree while all your other friends built their career.
You know it’s nothing to be embarrassed about — people defer their education all the time or
switch or simply, don’t go to university… but you never thought that you would be one of
those people. It feels strange.

It’s just your pride talking, you know that, but it’s difficult to ignore. When you’ve wanted
something for so long, it’s hard to admit — even to yourself — that it isn’t what you were
expecting.

***

Sasha screams immediately when you open the door, launching herself forward and wrapping
her arms around your shoulders to pull you in for a crushing hug. “My baby!” she squeals,
practically sobbing into your shoulder as you pull her tight.

“Sash!” you squeal back, squeezing her so hard that you’re certain it hurts, but she doesn’t
complain or let go until you’re both gasping for air.

“Is everything ok?” she asks, looking at you with a soft frown. “I haven’t seen you in weeks
— I’m so sorry I didn’t check in with you sooner.”

“It’s ok, Sash,” you say, sniffling a little as you brush a tear from your cheek.

She sobs again, almost comically before walking past you into Reiner’s home. You watch as
she approaches the couch to flop down into it before catching sight of the fridge and bee-
lining it there instead. “Do you have any food? I’m starving! We were so busy today with
emergency calls that I couldn’t take my lunch break.”

“Oh God, I hope everything’s ok!”

“It’s fine,” she says, waving her hand in dismissal as she rummages through Reiner’s fridge,
pulling out a container of leftovers from the night before and devouring it quickly.

“People just get so up in arms about their pets sometimes,” she says around a mouthful of
food. “Oh, my dog threw up! Lady, it’s a puppy — they just do that sometimes,” Sasha
groans, rolling her eyes.

You giggle, feeling your heart bloom with warmth at the normalcy as Sasha chatters on about
work, while you sit together on the couch. You listen to her bitch about clients around
mouthfuls of food until the container is completely empty and she sets it down on the table
with a satisfied sigh.

“Anyway, enough about me — how are things with you!” she leans forward, grabbing your
hands and squeezing them tight as she looks into your eyes. “Jean told us some things…
about you... I hope that’s ok.”

“What did he tell you, exactly?” you ask, wary.

“He said you had a panic attack at the airport,” Sasha starts, face twisting in pain. “He said
you’re on a mental health break with work… he said he’s really worried about you.”
You feel like bursting into tears all over again but you take a slow, steady inhale to calm
yourself before nodding. “Yeah, that’s all true.”

“Oh, my poor baby,” she sobs, scooching closer on the chair and pulling you toward her until
your head is cradled against her chest. “What the hell is going on? Why didn’t you say
anything!”

“I was embarrassed,” you admit, voice slightly muffled from how Sasha’s arms squeeze
around your head. “I didn’t want you guys to think I’m stupid.”

“You are stupid!” she says with a huff, squeezing you tighter until you have to push yourself
away for air. “I can’t believe you felt like you couldn't trust us!”

You frown, scratching the back of your head as you look down at your lap. “I know… I don’t
know what I was so afraid of, but it was just so hard admitting to myself that I was bad at my
job… I felt like it made it more real if I told other people.”

“You know we don’t care how good you are at counting beans, right?” Sasha says. “We love
you as our friend, not because of your job.”

“I know, Sash, I know,” you say, brushing the tears away as they fall down your cheeks. “I
don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Can you talk about it now?” Sasha asks, lowering her voice to a quiet whisper. “Tell me
what you’re going through, I really want to be there for you. I’m your friend, remember? No
matter what.”

Sasha’s words cause tears to fully stream down your face and you try to mask them with
laughter, but you know she sees completely through you. She doesn’t say anything, just
reaches across the couch to rest a comforting hand on your knee as she waits for you to
speak.

“I’ve been struggling at work for a really long time — pretty much since the beginning. My
boss put me on this Performance Improvement Plan thing to monitor my progress, and if I
didn’t improve, they were going to fire me,” you explain, brushing away tears with the heel
of your hand.

“Long story short, I didn’t improve, and my boss talked to me about it in the airport on our
way back from Trost and I just… broke down,” you admit, voice growing quieter and quieter
with every word as you try to hide the waver in your voice. “I felt so stupid for being bad at
my job because I’ve always been good at everything, but working at Titan was so much
different than school and I just didn’t get it.”

“I can’t believe you were suffering like that all alone,” Sasha says, squeezing your knee
lightly. “Jean said you didn’t even tell him all the details, and the two of you were working
together. I’m sorry I didn’t notice what was going on with you, either — I should’ve been
more attentive instead of just gossiping with you about boys.”
“I wasn’t totally alone,” you say, looking over at Sasha sheepishly. “I talked to Eren about it
quite a bit.”

She pauses, narrowing her gaze as she considers this new information. She opens her mouth
to speak but then snaps it back shut again and gives her head a small shake.

“What is it?” you press.

“You’re not going to like it,” she says, fidgeting with her hands in her lap.

“Come on.”

She bites her lip like she’s physically trying to hold herself back before saying, “Interesting
that you felt ok telling Eren, huh?”

You groan and roll your eyes. “Not this again.”

“I told you you wouldn’t like it.”

Crossing your arms over your chest, you look at Sasha on the other side of the couch with a
huff. Now that the Eren dam has been broken, you can see her mind spinning with questions
as she starts to blurt them out all at once.

“What’s the deal with you and Eren now, anyway? And did Jean spend the night here
yesterday? He didn’t come home and I figured, where else would he be? Are you sleeping
with both of them?”

“Sasha!” you scold, frowning. She snaps her mouth shut and clasps her hands in her lap,
looking at you sheepishly. “I’m not sleeping with both of them.”

“Just one of them?”

“Just Jean.”

"It'd be kinda sexy if you were," Sasha says, waggling her eyebrows. "They could share you
— or it could be like a throuple situation."

"Oh my God, Sasha!"

"What?" Sasha shrugs sheepishly but she doesn't look sorry. "Haven't you ever thought about
it?"

You gape at her, eyes wide in shock, and face burning in embarrassment.

She raises her hands in surrender, shifting her head to the side to hide from your gaze. "Fine,
fine. I'm just saying — I want you to live your best life."

You shake your head, biting back your laughter.

“So, did you break up with Eren?”

“Eren and I were never dating,” you remind her but she gives you a stern look. “I told Eren
that I didn’t want to see him anymore at dinner a few nights ago and then he told me that he
loved me.”

“He what?!” Sasha shrieks, eyes growing wide and mouth falling open comically. “He said
what?!” she shrieks again, leaning forward to grasp your shoulders and shake you wildly.

“Oh my God, relax!” you scold, swatting at her hands to get her to let go of you but her grip
is too tight.

“Eren Jaeger is in love with you?!”

“Sasha, relax!”

“How can I relax after you dropped that on me!” she yelled, finally releasing you to stand up
from her seat. She does a small lap around the kitchen, head in her hands. “Oh my God, I
can’t believe he said that! The Eren Jaeger! In love?”

“Can you please calm down,” you snap, feeling your face flood with heat as you watch
Sasha’s ridiculous reaction. “It wasn’t… he didn’t…” you stumble over your words, wanting
to assure her that Eren only said that to manipulate you, you don’t believe that — you never
believed that.

“So, that’s it? He told you he loved you and then you just broke his heart?”

“I didn’t — Sasha!” you snap, finally causing her to still as she looks over at you from the
kitchen with a slack jaw. “I’m still seeing him. We’re… we’re figuring it out.”

“What are you figuring out?”

“I don’t know… we’re just —”

“But you’re sleeping with Jean.”

“Yes,” you snap, averting your gaze.

“Does Jean love you, too?” Sasha asks sarcastically.

You snort. “No, but I told him I was in love with him and he basically told me to fuck off.”

“He what?!”

You wait patiently as Sasha repeats her process, stomping around in quick circles around the
kitchen with her hands laced behind her head. She keeps babbling incoherently and you just
fiddle with the back of the couch as you watch her until she tuckers out.

She leans back against the kitchen cupboards, sliding down to her butt with her legs stretched
out in front of her as she looks over at you from behind the back of the couch. Her lips part
like she’s about to speak but she just shakes her head in disbelief.
“You done?”

“I need you to start from the beginning,” she says, leaning her head back against the
cupboards.

So, you do.

Even though she knows most of the story with Jean, you tell her about the origins of your
crush. How you met him at the Halloween party and instantly felt a spark of attraction that
you kept buried inside as your friendship grew. You recapped that night at his cabin in Trost
(which you had never told Sasha about) and how the two of you shared a moment on the
dock that was rudely interrupted by her and Connie.

You tell her about the kiss with Jean in the kitchen of your shared home and then how he took
it all back moments later. You tell her about how awkward and weird he was in the days
leading up to and the first week at Trost for the Reeves job. You tell her, in vague detail,
about the weekend at his parents and how the two of you finally admitted to one another that
you had feelings for each other.

You tell her about dinner with your coworkers and how Jean ignored you to talk with Pieck
all night. You explain the fight between Jean and Eren and how you took Jean home to clean
up his wounds. You don’t need to tell her about how the two of you had sex because her face
flushes red and she waves a hand in dismissal before you get into too much detail.

When you explain to Sasha the morning after and how Jean pushed you away, you watch her
face scrunch in confusion. You briefly mention your talk last night and this morning with him
and then pause to let the information sink in.

Explaining the whole situation from start to finish causes your heart to tighten in your chest.
It’s crazy to think how far your relationship has come with Jean — from flirting at a party to
spending the night with one another — yet he still keeps closing himself off from letting you
get close to him.

“Wow, holy shit.”

“Right?” you laugh, watching as she shifts her weight on the floor until she’s comfortable.

“Ok, so — um… I feel a little guilty. I haven’t been completely honest with you,” she says,
looking down into her lap and fidgeting with her fingers. “So… I… kinda, sorta knew the
whole time that Jean was into you.”

You scrunch your brows in confusion. “What?”

“Jean told us — me and Connie — about his crush on you a while back. Kind of around the
time we all moved into the house together.” You stay quiet, eying Sasha carefully and she
folds under the silence. “He was worried about screwing things up, between us living
together and you guys working together.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was sworn to secrecy!” she pleads, looking up at you with wide eyes. “If it’s any
consolation, I never told him that you liked him, either. I just kind of… alluded to it. Kind of
like how I did with you. I didn’t outright tell him that you had feelings for him until after I
knew you two confessed to each other.”

“So, you were puppeteering our relationship from behind the scenes?”

“Unsuccessfully, clearly, but… yeah, I guess.” You frown but Sasha quickly tries to explain
herself. “The three of us have a little group chat that we talk in — I know that’s really shitty
because you’re one of our best friends, too, but… we’re just so used to it being the three of
us!”

Your frown deepens and Sasha returns your expression, realizing that she’s doing nothing to
make you feel better.

“We never talk shit about you, if that’s what you’re worried about! It’s mostly just Jean
freaking out about how much he likes you and me and Connie giving him advice that he
constantly ignores,” she says, rolling her eyes.

You’re sick and tired of all of these fucking group chats.

You’re furious by this new information, but you try to stay calm. In the grand scheme of
things, not being included in a group chat is the least of your worries — but a group chat with
your three closest friends? Sasha claims that they never said anything bad about you, but how
can you believe that if they’ve been keeping it a secret for so long?

You’ve always felt like a bit of an outsider in the friend group, and this just confirms it. They
never accepted you as a true member of the Core Four, it was always just the Golden Trio.

“Sasha, do you consider me your friend?” you ask quietly, willing your voice not to crack.

“Of course, I do — why would you even ask that?”

“Then why did it take you so long to reach out to me?” you ask and she clamps her mouth
shut. “Why have you and the others been talking about me behind my back?”

“It’s not like that,” she insists, eyes pleading. “I can show you what we said —”

“I don’t want to see it,” you sigh heavily. “I just… It’s ok if the three of you are closer to each
other than you are with me, that’s fine… but don’t lie to me and tell me that I’m one of the
gang when you all just see me as an outsider.”

“We don’t,” Sasha insists, frowning. “I know this looks bad — I know you’re probably
furious with me right now… but you’re not an outsider, ok?”

You swallow back the lump in your throat and look away, trying to calm down.

“We love you — all of us. I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but we all love you,” she
says.
“Do you know how many times Connie has stepped in to stop Jean from making some stupid,
drunken mistake with you? How many times I’ve tried to help Jean sort out his feelings so he
can confess to you?” she continues, looking at you with wide eyes. “And the reason why
Jean’s being so fucking weird about your relationship is because he loves you! He doesn’t
want to ruin the Core Four by screwing things up with you because you’re one of our best
friends.

“You’re one of my best friends,” she adds. “You’re right — I’m sorry for lowkey siding with
Jean during this whole thing and not reaching out to you. I didn’t mean to make you feel like
an outsider, I was just — I was so…” she groans, clenching her hands into tight fists. “Jean is
acting crazy and it’s just so frustrating! I’m trying to help you, I promise. Even though I
haven’t been around the way I should have.”

It’s always been hard for you to stay mad at Sasha, and today is no different. You thumb
away the tears on the edge of your eyes before sighing.

“I mean it, ok?” she says, brows pitching up into the centre of her forehead. “I’m sorry if you
felt betrayed or if you’ve ever felt like you weren’t important to us because you are. You’re
important to me, ok?”

“Ok,” you chuckle, and Sasha smiles.

"Jean sounds like a fucking asshole right now, so I'm going to have to beat some sense into
him when I get back home." You snort at Sasha's threat, watching her pound one of her fists
into the opposite palm in a threatening manner. "I mean... are you serious? He sounds like a
psychopath — it almost feels like you're lying to me because that doesn't sound like Jean."

"I know," you agree, nodding. "I don't understand what happened. Him and I were such good
friends for so long and it's like suddenly we don't know how to act around each other
anymore. And not in like a cute, shy, new-crush kinda way... it's like —"

"Toxic," Sasha finishes for you, frowning, and you nod. "I'm not going to make excuses for
him because... wow! I mean, if he was a stranger and you told me all of that, I'd tell you to
kick this guy to the curb!"

You laugh, rolling your eyes at Sasha's ferocity. "But because it's Jean?"

"Because it's Jean..." she trails off with a frown, shoulders slumping. "I love Jean, you know
that. He's like my brother and I'm not going to pull my punches when criticizing him, so..."
she rolls her head on her shoulders, looking up at the ceiling in thought. But she struggles to
pull together the words she wants to say and ultimately looks back to your face and just offers
a shrug.

"Yeah," you sigh. "I know what you mean."

Even without saying a word, you know exactly what Sasha is trying to tell you.

Jean isn't like this.

She pauses, face down at her lap, but her eyes dart up to meet your gaze. “So, what’s the deal
with Eren?”

You roll your eyes at her for jumping to the next subject already, but she just offers a half-
hearted apologetic shrug.

Talking about Eren is infinitely harder than talking about Jean. Maybe it’s because you’re still
unsure about your feelings for him or maybe because you know you fucked things up with
him, but you find yourself pausing multiple times to steady your voice as you weave a tale
for Sasha.

You tell her about your supposed no-strings-attached arrangement with Eren and how you
slowly started to confide in him about work — mainly because you were scared to admit it to
the Core Four. For some reason, talking to Eren was easier.

You admit to Sasha that you started to develop feelings for him, but you tried to ignore them
because you were so focused on building a relationship with Jean. You tell her about how
hard it’s been to distance yourself from him, even though you know it’s the right thing to do,
and then you tell her about Eren’s love confession.

Sasha’s face twists in sorrow as your voice wavers around the story and you try to skim
through it as quickly as possible to regain control. You tell her about how Eren came over the
other day and how he still hasn’t given up on you — how he wants to become closer to you
to prove that he’s the right guy.

Even though you know it’ll taint her view of him, just like it did for you, you tell her about
Eren’s group chat.

You tell her about the things you saw on his phone and how betrayed you felt, but how Eren’s
been working so fucking hard to prove himself to you. To show that he’s not the same guy
that he was in the messages that you saw, but you tell her how you can’t quite find it in
yourself to forgive him.

You find yourself trailing off as you feel a lump growing in your throat and you look down
into your lap as you try to collect yourself.

“Disgusting group chat aside — that’s so fucking romantic,” Sasha whines from across the
room and you can’t help but laugh. “Fuck Jean! Why are you still even bothering to baby him
through his issues when you have Eren literally fighting for you!”

You snort and roll your eyes. “I can’t just forget about the group chat, though.”

“Do you think he’s really changing?”

You purse your lips in thought, rolling the idea around in your head before speaking. “It’s
hard for me to see how the Eren I know now, was ever the Eren I saw in the group chats… he
just feels so different and caring and thoughtful — and he’s been asking Armin for help!”

Sasha shrugs. “Sounds like he’s not changing… sounds like he already has.”
“It’s been three months.”

“People change every day,” she challenges. “If it was a year, would you feel better about it?”

“Maybe,” you say, brows furrowing.

“Well, what difference does it make?” she shrugs. “You said so yourself, he’s not the guy you
saw in those group chat messages — he’s already changed. He’s better, he’s… he’s your
Eren.”

“He’s not my anything,” you say with a frown. “I can’t just forgive him for something like
that so quickly, you don’t understand — you didn’t see what I saw. I’m going to end things
with him officially so I can be with Jean.”

Despite your best efforts to line your voice with conviction, it feels weak and you curl in in
yourself almost defensively when Sasha’s eye narrow.

“Why Jean?”

You look up at her sternly, swallowing back your tears as you say, “I love Jean.”

“What about him do you love?” Sasha challenges and you frown.

“I thought you wanted him and I to get together,” you say. “Why are you trying to discourage
me from being with him?”

She presses her lips together, eyes rolling up to the ceiling in thought. “That’s not what I’m
doing, I just…” she sighs and looks back down at you. “Of course, I want you and Jean to be
together. You guys are my two best friends so I think it would be really cool if you two
dated.”

“Ok,” you say warily.

“But… are you sure you still like him?”

“I love him,” you correct and Sasha makes a strangled noise in her throat.

“No, I know, I know… but now that your relationship with him has changed from just
friends, do you still like him?”

You frown but say nothing in response.

“I mean, you’ve had a crush on Jean since you guys first met which was like… years ago,
right? And now that the two of you are kinda dating, he’s probably different than what you
were expecting.”

“What do you mean?”

She shrugs. “Well, like… you probably built him up in your head while you were crushing on
him, right? Like, what he’d be like as a boyfriend, or cute romantic gestures that you’d want
 him to do… Are you sure you’re not latching on to that Jean instead of the real Jean?”

You struggle to find something to say in response, stumbling over your words as you try to
speak.

You’ve been friends with Jean for years, you know who the real Jean is. There is no fantasy
Jean that you’re comparing him to, there’s always just been Jean.

“I want you to be with Jean if he makes you happy,” she continues, “but don’t confuse him
for someone he’s not.”

“He’s my best friend, I know who he is.”

"I thought I did, too," she hums, "but he's acting like a stranger."

You sigh heavily and bury your face into your hands. "Things will change. They'll get better
— I believe in us," you say into your palms.

“And what about Eren?” Sasha says quietly. “You said it’s hard for you to let go of him even
though you want Jean… That has to mean something, right?”

You feel like Sasha can see straight through you, even with your face in your hands. You
duck your head behind the back of the couch so she can’t see you from her seat on the floor,
but you can hear her shuffling in the kitchen and then the soft padding of her footsteps as she
approaches. You peek up at her when her head peers over the back of the couch, her brows
furrowed in concern.

Sasha reaches forward and thumbs away the tears on your cheeks that you didn’t realize were
there.

“You’ve always been stubborn,” she says softly. “Maybe you’re trying to latch on to feelings
that aren’t really there anymore.”

You try to respond, but you can’t — your chest feels hollow.

Chapter End Notes

🥰
EDIT: Please go check out this playlist that shepnicolo made for The Boys at Work! She
also has a big post explaining why she chose each song!!
 Giving Up
Chapter Notes

cw: Explicit language.

You’re in the middle of eating breakfast when your phone starts ringing, alerting you of an
incoming FaceTime call from an unknown number. You’re cautious but curious and end up
answering it, tilting your camera to face the ceiling as you peer down at the screen.

“Hey, buddy!”

You smile, picking your phone off the table when you see Reiner’s grinning face on the
screen. “Hey, Reiner!” You must not have saved his number when you first called him earlier
this week.

“Sorry, were you sleeping? Did I wake you?”

You shake your head, angling the camera down towards your food. “I was just eating food
before my shift.”

“You’re back at work?”

“Not Titan,” you clarify quickly, tilting back up to your face. “I got a part-time job to keep
me busy while I’m on stress leave.”

“Hey, that’s great to hear!”

You’ve never seen Reiner smile this much before, especially when the two of you were
working together at Titan. It warms your heart to see him so happy.

“Anyway, I just wanted to call quick to ask you something,” he says.

“Sure, what’s up?”

“I got Pieck to help me look into travel options for Hizaru and she found this cool package
that I think I’m going to go for,” he says, shifting his camera to show Pieck sitting on a couch
in the background, curled up next to Porco. “Say hi, guys!” Pieck turns to look at the camera,
smiling and waving at you, but Porco doesn’t bother to look up from his phone.

“There’s this volunteer group that works in youth education and recreation,” Reiner explains,
tilting the camera back until it fills with his face. “I’d do some English teaching and general
mentoring in one of the rural areas and they provide accommodations and a monthly stipend
for food.”
“Wow, that’s really cool!” you say, watching Reiner’s grin grow impossibly wider.

“Yeah, it sounds super cool and they’re shipping out a new batch of volunteers pretty quick…
All I need to do is fill out an application and send in a little video message about why I want
to be involved.”

“Sounds easy enough,” you hum, propping your chin on your hand as you listen closely. “Are
you gonna go for it?”

“Yeah, I think so!” he says, eyes crinkling in excitement. “Hey, but the reason I called was
because I remember Jean saying that you did some volunteer work with kids during uni — is
that right?”

You nod. It feels like forever ago, but during university you did some volunteering with kids
alongside your part time job at the cafe.

“Ok, cool,” Reiner continues and his grin starts to fade a little as he grows more serious. “I
know I asked you kinda out of the blue the other day, but I wanted to formally extend an
invite to you — do you want to come with me on this volunteer trip to Hizaru?”

Your eyes widen, jaw falling open as you sputter around a response. “You really want me to
come with you?”

He nods. “Yeah, I know you’re going through shit at work and — I dunno about you, but I
just need a fresh start. If you want to come with me, I’d love the company.” Reiner whirls his
phone around to show two other people sitting on another couch, one you recognize as
Bertolt from the other day and the other is a small, grumpy-looking blonde girl. “None of my
friends wanna come with me so I’m on my own — say hi!”

Bertolt awkwardly smiles and waves but the girl just looks up from her book with her face
twisted in annoyance.

“Do you seriously need to have this conversation in the middle of the Airbnb? Go take the
call in your room or something you’re so fu—”

Her voice fades away when Reiner spins the camera back to his face, still grinning. “Yeah,
so, no pressure, but I just wanted to extend the invitation! Think about it?”

“Yeah, I can think about it,” you decide, nodding slightly.

Honestly, you were already thinking about it, even back when you thought Reiner was just
offering to be polite. Now that you know he's serious, it feels more real. Your head spins with
thoughts but you try to focus until the end of the conversation as Reiner explains a few more
details about the program before promising to send you the package so you can read it over
yourself.

“If you wanna come, that would be cool, but if not — no worries!” he smiles, holding back
the camera a bit so he can wave. “I’ll talk to you later!”
“See you!” you yell back, waving your hand until the call disconnects. You set your phone
back down on the table, biting your lip as your brows furrow in thought.

Seeing Reiner's face again after he left for his vacation felt surreal, he didn’t look like the
same Reiner you remember from your hotel room, crying and trembling — instead, he was
happy… peaceful.

You want that for you, too.

Things with Jean seem to be going well after yesterday morning, but after your conversation
with Sasha last night, you're starting to feel confused about how you really feel about Jean
and Eren.

But it seems like Eren doesn’t want to see you anymore, judging from his lack of contact
since the fight you had the other day. He hasn’t answered any of your messages or calls and
it’s starting to make you feel anxious — you wish he would just say something. You'd be
happy even with just an emoji!

You know you’ve been judging him harshly for the things you saw on his phone, but you feel
like it’s justified. How can you feel comfortable around Eren after seeing those messages he
sent, barely three months ago?

But, as always, in spite of all of the reasons you should cut Eren completely out of your life,
you’re still fighting to keep him in it — looking for reasons to see him and talk to him again
— even though you know Jean doesn’t like it.

What’s wrong with you? All Jean wants is for you to cut contact with your ex-fuck buddy —
a completely reasonable request — and you can’t seem to do that.

You want to blame Sasha. Blame her for planting little seeds of doubt into your mind about
your feelings for Jean, but you know you can’t. You’ve been feeling this weird sense of dread
and uncertainty since your first fight with Jean after dinner last week.

Why are you trying so hard to be with someone who seemingly doesn’t want you? And Jean
was right from yesterday, you are always quick to jump into bed with him because…

Because it’s hard to do anything else with Jean.

Talking with Jean just leads to arguments and despite being friends for years, the two of you
can’t do anything alone that doesn’t involve touching each other. You thought it was just the
tension from your crush on Jean that was making you want to be close to him, but even now,
the two of you can’t even give each other a simple goodbye kiss without turning it heated.

Maybe going to Hizaru with Reiner is the answer. You would have to quit your job at Titan
and run away from both Jean and Eren… but maybe that’s for the best?

***

Your head is still jumbled with thoughts as you walk down to Levi’s teashop, mulling
between staying and quitting, Jean and Eren, Paradis and Hizaru. You hope that Levi leaves
you alone today — you’re not in the mood for his judgey comments — but the second you
walk through the door, you feel his eyes boring through your soul.

“You’re quiet today.”

You give him a look of exasperation as you remove your bag, setting it down in the office
before pulling out your apron to tie around your waist. “I’ve got a lot on my mind today.”

“Care to share?”

You try to ignore him, walking past him to start working on setting up the food display but he
stays leaning against the counter next to you with his arms crossed, eying your every
movement.

“A friend of mine invited me to go volunteer overseas with him.”

“You can’t do that if you’re chained to your desk.”

You hum noncommittally in response, keeping your back turned to him as you look through
the fridge, checking the milk to make sure they haven’t expired.

“Petra tells me that you haven’t talked to her since your leave.”

“I don’t really have anything to say to her,” you say, growing annoyed with Levi’s sharp,
probing comments.

“How long do you plan on staying on stress leave?”

“Why, are you tired of me already?” you look over, hoping to challenge Levi’s stare with one
of your own, but you cave almost immediately, looking back into the fridge as you fiddle
around with the cream.

“I worked as a manager at Titan alongside Hange,” he says, and you’re surprised he’s
opening up like this, unprompted. You keep your gaze low in hopes that he will continue
talking, treating him almost like a skittish animal. “Erwin wasn’t the Regional Managing
Partner at the time, or whatever bullshit title they’ve given him. He was just a Senior
Manager.”

You shut the fridge quietly and stand back up to your full height, crossing your arms over
your chest as you lean back against the counter. You caution a glance up at Levi to see that,
for once, he’s not glaring at you. This time, he’s looking down at his feet.

“Erwin and I were working on a project together with an unreasonably tight deadline and too
small of a team to handle the workload.” You watch as Levi pulls a cloth from his apron
pocket, wiping down the counter mindlessly as he continues. “Both of the juniors that I
worked with ended up leaving Titan after that job.

“Erwin talked me into staying, despite the fact that I was at my breaking point, and so I did. I
stayed for another five years before I decided that I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t watch
all of my junior staff work themselves to the bone like that. Losing their sense of self and
losing faith in their abilities, just because they couldn’t tackle the unreasonable workload that
he expected of them.”

He flicks the cloth in the air, waving it out before stuffing it back into his apron. “And here I
am.”

“What makes you happy?” you ask quietly, spinning his question from yesterday back to him.

“Tea,” he says, eyes flicking up to yours. “Seeing people succeed and thrive despite their
obstacles. Watching people realize their worth. Seeing someone recognize the unhealthy,
toxic work environment that Erwin tries to present as normal and seeking balance
elsewhere.”

“Things aren’t that bad,” you say with a small scoff, trying to keep things lighthearted, and
his eyebrows twitch in response. “Besides, it’s not like Titan is the only thing in my life going
wrong.”

Levi says nothing, but the way he looks at you compels you to say more.

“My love life is in shambles,” you admit sheepishly and Levi groans as he rolls his eyes.

“I warned you that Jaeger was an idiot.”

“No, it’s not Eren,” you clarify quickly. “It’s Jean.”

Levi’s brows furrow. “The Kirstein kid?”

“He doesn’t like being called that… but, yeah.”

“You’re dating him?” Levi is visibly confused.

“Well, no… not really. We’re trying to figure things out, but it’s really complicated,” you
explain. “Him and I have been friends for years and only just confessed like, a week ago, that
we had feelings for one another… but things aren’t really working out.”

“If you’re dating Kirstein why are you holding hands with Jaeger?”

Levi’s counter makes you bristle and you look away from him in shame. “I told you, we’re
not really dating.”

“You’re upset that things are complicated when you’re hanging out with two different boys at
the same time?”

“Eren and I are just friends,” you insist, but your voice lacks conviction.

His eyebrows twitch in response before he steps off the counter and walks into the back
office. “I don’t really have the time to listen to boy drama — get back to work.”

You walk around the counter to wipe down the tables in the main seating area, just trying to
keep things tidy before any customers arrive. You take a cursory glance down at your phone a
few times throughout the morning and see messages from Reiner regarding the volunteer
opportunity in Hizaru, a few supporting comments from Sasha, and a check-in text from
Petra.

Still, nothing from Eren.

You sigh, trying to ignore the way your stomach twists in disappointment as you flick open
your message with Petra.

Hey, can you give me a call when you’re free?

It’s not work-related.
Kind of.
Just call me.

You shoot her a quick confirmation text to let her know that you’d give her a call after your
shift today before switching over to your conversation history with Eren. You frown down at
the messages, pursing your lips in thought before succumbing to the urge to text him again.

Hope everything is ok
I’m sorry about the other night
Let me know if you want to talk

You feel stupid sending off a message like that but you’re starting to get worried. It’s been
almost two days since you last talked to him and it’s making you feel uneasy. You know he’s
probably upset from the other night and you just want to see him again so you can apologize.

You stare down at your screen for a little longer before putting it back away in your apron
pocket. You’ll check again later tonight after you call Petra.

***

“Hey, girlie!”

You cringe, holding the phone a little away from your face as you hear the unusually cheerful
chirp from Petra on the other end of the line. “Uh… hi.”

She clears her throat, obviously embarrassed, before returning to her usual speaking voice.
“How are you doing, is everything alright?”

“I’m ok, just left work,” you hum, cradling the phone between your ear and your shoulder as
you walk down the street. “What did you need?”

“I just wanted to check up on you.” You hold your breath until Petra fills the awkward
silence. “I wanted to see if you could give me an ETA on when you might come back to the
office. There’s some work I need you to get done when you’re back.”

Her words instantly break you out into a cold sweat. You swallow thickly, reaching for your
phone and shifting it to your other shoulder as you stammer. “Well, I’m not sure… I… I
think, maybe —”
“Relax, relax,” she says quickly, making you pause again. “It was a joke. Please, don’t have
another panic attack. Bad joke — sorry.”

You’re mildly annoyed but you feel your heart starting to calm down a bit from her
assurance.

“How are you doing with the whole stress leave thing?” she asks, voice soft with concern.

You shrug, “It’s ok, I guess. I’ve just been working at Levi’s and then trying to see some
friends in the evening.”

“That sounds nice,” she hums. “Are you feeling better at all?”

You laugh nervously. “Not exactly, but that’s not all due to Titan… I have some personal
drama going on.”

“Ah, right,” Petra says, clicking her tongue. “Well, I hope everything works out for you. I
haven’t gotten a chance to talk with Eren much since I’ve been doing wrap-up for the Reeves
job, but Jean said he saw you.”

“Y-yeah,” you stutter, taken off guard at the mention of Eren’s name. “Is Eren there at work
today?”

“Uh… I think so? I think Oluo mentioned meeting with him for another client,” Petra says.
“He hasn’t been acting as snotty as he usually does, so I think he’s worried about you.”

“Eren is?” you ask, feeling your heart skip a beat.

“Yeah, Oluo’s usually complaining about Eren being a brat on engagements, but he hasn’t
said anything recently so…” Petra trails off, but you keep quiet, hoping she’ll reveal more.
“Anyway, I hope the two of you make up soon. I’m sure he did something stupid to make you
mad but just forgive him. He’s a good kid.”

You make a noncommittal noise in your throat, and before you can respond, Petra speaks
again.

“Sorry, it’s none of my business. I just feel bad for the guy, walking around like he’s a kicked
puppy all of the time,” she says with a laugh. “He’s so upset his girlfriend’s not around
anymore and he’s making it everyone else’s problem.”

You frown. “Girlfriend? Oh, it’s not like that with me and Eren — we’re just friends.”

Petra is quiet for a long moment. “Oh,” she says, shocked. “Sorry, I thought… Oh, ok.”

“I’m dating Jean,” you clarify, suddenly feeling defensive.

“Oh,” she says again. “I… Oh, wow, that’s juicy.” Petra chuckles on the other end of the line
as you scrunch your brows in confusion. “So, you were you cheating on him with Eren?”

“What? No!” you say quickly, but Petra is already talking over top of you.
“I know you and Eren were hooking up, but I didn’t realize you and Jean were together…
That explains why you and Eren were always acting so sneaky...”

“Jean and I didn’t start dating until last week,” you huff. “I never cheated.”

“Then why… you know what, it doesn’t matter,” Petra says, her tone shifting to one of
professionalism. “It’s none of my business, I shouldn’t be prying into your personal life.”

Despite your reassurance, you already know that she’s probably going to reach out to Oluo or
some of the other staff for more information about your awkward little love triangle.

“Why did you call, Petra?” you ask with a defeated sigh.

“Well, as your mentor, I just wanted to check up on you and make sure you’re ok — which…
it sounds like it’s complicated, I guess,” she hums. “And I wanted to let you know that, in the
event that you decide not to return to Titan, I’ve taken the liberty of writing up a resignation
letter for you.”

Her voice drops down to a whisper as she speaks. “No pressure at all, but I know you’re
probably overwhelmed with everything that’s going on — and that’s ok! If you want to quit
Titan, all you have to do is sign the document and email it back to me. I can deliver it to
Erwin on your behalf.”

“Are you firing me?”

“No, no, no!” she says quickly. “I’m just trying to make things easier for you, in case that’s
what you want.”

You frown. “I feel like you’re trying to push me out… did you talk to Jean about this, too?
He’s been really pushy about me quitting, too.”

“I wouldn’t talk to him about private matters with you,” she says, almost sounding offended.
“Your friends care about you and it’s obvious — even to me — that you’re struggling.”

Petra’s tone softens as she continues, “I’m sorry if I’m being pushy and it’s making you
uncomfortable, but it’s coming from a good place — I’m just trying to help you.”

“What if I don’t want to quit?” you ask, standing up a little taller and holding the phone up to
your ear. “What if I want to keep fighting?”

“Then you’re more than welcome to,” Petra says. “But I’m going to send over the resignation
letter anyway, ok? No pressure.”

“Ok, sure. Thanks, Petra.”

“Of course,” she hums and you feel a small smile tugging at the corner of your mouth.

The two of you stay on the line together for a moment longer and you feel a question
bubbling up to the forefront of your mind. Just as she’s working her way through a goodbye,
you quickly cut her off.
“Hey, Petra?”

“Yeah?”

“Am I… am I not cut out for this?” you ask, feeling your pace slow as you walk towards
Reiner’s apartment. “Do you think… if things were different, do you think I would’ve done
well at Titan?”

She takes in a long, slow breath and you can visualize her clearly in your mind: lips pursed,
brows furrowed. “I think that working at a place like this requires a certain kind of person,
and I don’t think you’re that kind of person.”

You feel your hopes crumble. “Oh, ok —”

“I think that person is someone who has no hobbies, no interests, no friends… just work.
Everyone I know who’s succeeded at Titan has been people who don’t have anything else
going on in their life but work,” she continues, and you find yourself stopping completely on
the street.

“This job doesn’t give you the time or the space to have anything else in your life — it
demands your attention. I think you value spending time with your friends and I don’t see a
world where you choose this job over them,” she says. “And I don’t think there’s anything
wrong with that. There are jobs out there that let you have your individuality, but this is not
one of them.”

“Ok,” you say, voice quiet. “Why are you still at Titan?”

She chuckles but there’s no humour in her tone. “I’m one of those lucky people with nothing
else in my life,” she says. “And I’ve got it in my head that I want to be the one to change
things around here… make it so people can have a healthy balance.”

“Do you think you will?”

“I don’t know,” she says, soft and quiet. “You’re not the first person I’ve seen go through
something like this, and I’m sure you won’t be the last… and I want to get better at realizing
when someone’s approaching their breaking point so nobody else ends up breaking down the
way you did.”

“Yeah,” you say, swallowing loudly and continuing your walk. “Thanks.”

“It was hard seeing Levi go through that and it was even harder seeing you,” she admits, and
your steps stutter. “With Levi, I justified it as being out of my control. I was his junior staff
and he was my manager, so when he broke down, I didn’t have the power to help him.

“But then when it happened to you… I felt like I should’ve been able to do more, and I hate
that I couldn’t.” Petra sighs heavily and you can hear her shifting from the other end of the
phone. “I’m sorry, I’m always turning this into a pity party about myself.”

“No, that’s ok,” you assure. “I appreciate it, Petra… I really do.”
“I’m glad,” she hums, and you can feel the warmth from her tone across the line. “Are you
going to be ok?”

“I think so,” you say, and it feels like the truth. “I just need some time.”

“Yeah, good,” she responds. “Take all the time you need.”

***

“Thanks for all your help this afternoon, Jean,” Erwin says, clapping him on the back as the
two walk down the hall together.

“Yeah, of course, sir,” Jean says dejectedly, keeping his eyes low on the ground and doing his
absolute best not to flinch from Erwin’s touch.

“You’ve done a lot for Titan and it’s only been a few months, you should be pleased with
yourself.”

“Will I ever get any real coaching?”

Erwin pauses, eyes narrowing as he regards Jean carefully in the empty hallway. “What do
you mean?”

“I know my technical skills aren’t up to par,” Jean keeps looking down at his feet. “Will I get
any coaching to get me back up to where I’m supposed to be, or am I just…”

Erwin chuckles, patting Jean on the back once more before continuing to walk down the
hallway, making Jean trail after him. “You weren’t hired for your technical skills.”

“I want to be useful.”

“You are.”

Jean’s unsatisfied with that answer but says nothing. He bites his cheek as he follows Erwin
back to his office, shutting the door behind him and taking a seat in one of the chairs in front
of his desk while Erwin perches on the edge of the desk in front of him.

“You need to rid yourself of this attitude, Jean,” Erwin tsks, thumbing his nose as he looks
down at Jean. “Stop making such a spectacle about your terms of hire. You’re going to cause
dissent among the other workers. They’re not like you, they’re all replaceable… but it will
put Titan in a difficult position if we lose any more people.”

Jean nods, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back in his seat, still refusing to look
up at Erwin. “Are you concerned about all the people quitting?”

“No,” Erwin says, clicking his tongue in his mouth. “There’s always going to be a fresh crop
of new grads each year that would sell their souls to work here at Titan. And how could I
possibly be concerned after we just acquired a new major client — all thanks to you.”

“Yeah,” Jean says, swallowing thickly.

Erwin pauses and moves to clasp his hands together on his lap. “Jean, look at me.”

Jean’s nose crinkles in annoyance and he shifts his eyes up to meet Erwin’s gaze, but he
makes no move to shift the positioning of his head, still tilted downwards.

“Your skills are in leadership and communication. You may not be the best employee on our
team technically, but you are an excellent salesman when it comes to acquiring new clients.”
Erwin keeps his gaze fixed on Jean as he speaks and Jean wills himself not to bend under his
piercing blue eyes. “You were born for this. Don’t shy away from your true nature.”

“But I’m not doing anything,” Jean huffs childishly. “I just sit there while you all talk around
me — I’m not doing anything to actually help.”

Erwin frowns. “Is that what you think, Jean?” Before Jean can answer, Erwin leans forward,
forcing Jean to sit further back in his chair to avoid having Erwin directly in his face.

“Your presence is important for client relations,” Erwin says, clicking his tongue. “Sure, you
don’t know what to say when we talk business, but you absolutely know what to say when it
comes to schmoozing.”

“So, I’m good at small talk,” Jean scoffs, tone laced with contempt.

“Yes,” Erwin smiles, sitting up tall again. “You’re good at making the client feel comfortable.
Relaxing them. Getting them to do what I want. You may not realize it Jean, because it comes
so naturally to you, but you’re very influential.”

“Manipulative,” Jean corrects, feeling chills run down his spine.

“Whatever you want to call it.”

“Right,” Jean says through gritted teeth, jaw clenching uncomfortably in his mouth, and he
stands up immediately to leave. “I have to finish helping Petra with all of the notes in the
Reeves file."

“Don’t waste your time, Jean, you will only cause more problems for Miss Ral. She can do it
on her own.”

“Right,” he spits, getting ready to storm out of Erwin’s office but before he’s able to take a
step, he hears a voice behind him that makes his blood run cold.

“Ah, Jean! Good, I caught you.”

Jean clenches his teeth so tightly that his jaw cracks, turning his head just enough to see his
father walk into his line of sight. He smiles at Jean — as if they have a friendly relationship
— and takes a seat in the chair next to him.

“Jean, please sit,” he directs, and Jean feels himself lowering back into the chair before he
can think.
“I invited your father here to discuss some business,” Erwin explains, but Jean can hardly
hear him over the sound of his teeth grinding. “I thought the two of you might like to chat, I
know it can be difficult to find time to meet family.”

Jean just offers a tense nod in response as his father speaks. “It’s good to see you. I’ve been
talking with some of my connections and they’re really impressed with you.”

Jean pauses, feeling his shoulders relax slightly. “What?”

“Flegel Reeves was impressed with the work that you did on the audit,” he continues. “He
was pleased by your professionalism during his meetings with you. As a new client, it’s
important to develop that rapport.”

“Thank… you…” Jean says hesitantly, wary.

Erwin nods. “Yes, we’re looking at having Jean lead the engagement for that client next year
since he developed such strong connections with them.”

But I didn’t do anything, Jean thinks, unable to speak.

“The previous senior didn’t quite meet our expectations,” Erwin says, clicking his tongue in
disappointment. “It’s a shame. She worked very closely with an old colleague of mine and he
always had good things to say about her.”

“Was that the Ackerman?” Jean’s father hums, rubbing at his chin with his palm. “Erwin, I
don’t know why you hold so much weight on his opinion when the man runs a teashop.”

Erwin laughs. “I’m a sentimental man, I can’t help myself.”

“Is Petra getting fired?” Jean asks, finally finding his voice. “She did all the work on the
job… after everyone left… Sir, I didn’t do —”

Jean freezes when he feels his father rest his hand on his arm, silencing him. “Stop being
modest,” he tsks. “You should be proud of yourself for what you’ve accomplished.”

Without the liquid courage, Jean finds it hard to argue against his father. He didn’t do
anything on the Reeves job. Petra did all of the work and Jean just walked around making
sure everyone knew he was a Kirstein. And now she’s getting punished?

“Jean always tries to bring his teammates up,” Erwin says with a smile. “It’s admirable, but
he’ll realize quickly that you need to be selfish to succeed in the corporate world.”

“Jean has strong work ethic,” his father explains. “It’s fortunate that he gets to work under
your guidance to develop skills to help him succeed. Who knows where he’d be if he ended
up elsewhere.”

Jean shakes his head in confusion. “Wait, Dad… I thought you wanted me to work for you?”

He hums, “You’re building strong connections here at Titan, that will help when you
eventually move on to other things. Perhaps I was wrong to judge you for taking this role —
you’re doing well.”

You’re doing well.

The words ring in Jean’s mind long after they’re spoken. Is he? He doesn’t know what to
think anymore. It’s so hard to recognize what he’s accomplished versus what’s been handed
to him.

Is he good at his job? If clients are praising him, then maybe he should listen to them. Erwin
said that he excelled in client relations — that was an important part of business too, right?
Maybe he doesn’t need to worry about being technically strong in accounting.

“I’d like to see Jean in management before the end of next year,” Erwin says, shifting around
the desk to sit back in his chair.

“Impressive,” Jean’s father says, humming in approval. “You’ve done well for yourself,
Jean.”

Jean wishes he knew the truth.

“You can go back to your desk now, Jean,” Erwin says, nodding toward the door in dismissal.
“Your father and I need to speak privately.”

Jean swallows thickly and stands up from his seat, returning back to his desk on auto-pilot as
he tries to wrap his head around what just happened in Erwin’s office.

After the message from the recruiter at HERO, Jean has been dead set on moving to Liberio
to work in forestry. It’s going to be a pay cut from his current position, as well as a decrease
in responsibilities, but it will give him an opportunity to make a name for himself outside of
his father’s shadow. And he wants to go with you.

Your relationship together is already tumultuous, and he knows things won’t work out if you
try to keep it long-distance.

His bad experience with Pieck aside, Jean knows he won’t be able to trust you here alone
with Eren Jaeger — he needs you to come with him. Now that he’s made his decision, he just
needs to convince you.

He sees another message from Miche when he gets to his desk and quickly opens it up. The
two have been talking ever since Miche’s initial message the other day. Jean sent him his
resume and they chatted briefly on the phone, but Miche needed to talk to the client before
they could have a formal interview.

I’m surprised by your lack of experience after working at Titan for so long, the message
reads, and Jean feels his heart drop into his stomach.

The client is looking for a bit more knowledge and experience, but they’re willing to meet
with you to see if you’re a good fit, culture-wise. I just want to warn you that your starting
pay will be lower than what’s listed. I understand if this is a big risk to take, especially since
it involves relocating.
They have the staffing to provide you with on-the-job training for your role, but if you don’t
pick it up quickly enough during your probation period, they won’t be continuing your
employment. Do you think that’s something you’d be capable of learning? I’m not sure the
reason behind your lack of experience in your current role.

Jean frowns down at the message. Lack of experience, it says — the words jump out at him
over everything else on the page. He swallows thickly and minimizes the screen from view as
he mulls over his options.

Lack of experience.

But that’s not true — that’s not what Erwin just said to him. Maybe he isn’t technically
strong, but Jean has lots of attributes that make him an integral member of the Titan team.

Lack of experience.

He is going to be leading the Reeves job next year because he did such a good job on it this
year. Erwin wants to see him in management because he sees Jean’s potential to succeed.

Lack of experience.

If he takes this role and moves to Liberio, he won’t be able to ride off of his father’s coattails
for the first time in his life. He’ll have to work hard to prove to himself and to the company
that he is smart. He is good. He is worthy of the Kirstein name.

But what if he can’t? What if he fails?

Despite hating living in his father’s shadow, he can’t deny the sense of comfort he gets from
knowing that in the end, everything is going to be ok. He’s never had to try at anything before
because he never needed to. Jean Kirstein has always just coasted by through life because it’s
so fucking easy.

Separating himself from his father’s name is scary because it means that Jean might have to
admit to himself that he’s nothing special without his father. He might struggle to pay for his
rent, instead of coasting off the monthly dividends from his trust fund. He might get fired
from his job, instead of having his father pull a few strings to get him promoted, instead.

Jean claims that he doesn’t want to be anything like his father, but the truth is — Jean is
exactly like him in every facet of his life. He says that he wants to be better but his actions
contradict that.

He’ll always be Jean fucking Kirstein and needs to either accept that or actually change.

And “changing” doesn’t mean just admitting that he’s a bad person. Acknowledging and
apologizing for being in the wrong doesn’t make him better. Jean’s self-awareness means
nothing if he just keeps making the same mistakes, over and over again.

Jean drums his fingers on his desk in thought before opening up the message from Miche. He
reads it again, feeling his heart clench in his chest with every line.
"See you later, Jean," comes a commanding voice from beside him.

Jean jolts in surprise, scrambling to minimize the screen as his father and Erwin walk past his
desk, but they don't even bother to give him a second glance.

With a scowl, he opens up the message and hits Reply while his heart races.
 Empty
Chapter Notes

🙏
Apologies in advance if this chapter is clunky! I've been sick all weekend so I didn't
really get a chance to give this a proper edit after revisions.

cw: Alcohol, explicit language, slut-shaming. Two characters get into a fairly intense
argument where one character becomes afraid of the other but there is no violence.

You can sense Jean’s sour mood the second he walks through the door. You step out of his
way as he charges past you, already working on undoing his tie with one hand while he
white-knuckles the handle of his bag with the other.

“Does Reiner have anything to drink?”

“Um, I’m not sure,” you say, shutting and locking the door before following Jean into the
apartment.

He sets his bag on the table next to Reiner’s box of things and rips off his tie, throwing it
down onto the table. You watch as he shrugs off his suit jacket and lays it across one of the
dining room chairs before he starts working on the buttons of his shirt.

“Can you check?”

“Yeah, sure,” you say hurriedly, walking into the kitchen and looking through various
cupboards and cabinets. You know Reiner doesn’t have anything in the fridge, but he might
have some stronger stuff or maybe some wine tucked away.

To your relief, you find a bottle of wine in the back of one of Reiner’s cupboards. You take a
cursory glance at the label, trying to identify if it’s special or expensive, before realizing that
it’s a sparkling fruit wine — the same brand that you and Jean got together months ago!

“I found some wine,” you say, calling over your shoulder and resisting the urge to turn
around as Jean peels off his dress shirt.

“Thanks. Pour me a glass?”

“On it.”

Reiner doesn’t have any wine glasses, surprisingly, so you fill up two short, stout rocks
glasses with wine before walking over to the couch, waiting for Jean while he pulls on a pair
of shorts.
“Look, it’s the same brand of wine that you and I bought,” you grin, showing off the bottle to
Jean as you settle into the couch, tossing your phone on the table. “It’s like it’s fate!”

Jean just grunts in response, pulling a loose-fitting shirt over his head and smoothing out his
hair.

“Did you have a rough day?” you ask, eying him carefully as he collapses on the seat next to
you. He takes the glass you give him and swallows it all in two large gulps before leaning
forward and grabbing the bottle to pour himself another glass.

“Fuckin… everything,” he scoffs, taking another, smaller sip. “I don’t even give a shit
anymore about anything. I’m over it.”

You hum in response, taking a small sip of your glass before resting it down on your thigh.
You watch Jean run a hand through his hair and sigh shakily before he relaxes on the couch,
letting his head hang over the back cushion.

“My dad came into work today and I’m still rattled about it,” he sighs, closing his eyes. “I
hate him — I really fucking hate him.”

You hum in understanding, reaching forward to rest a comforting hand on his knee as he
sighs again.

“Why was he at Titan?”

“Some meeting with Erwin, I don’t know,” he runs his palm across his face. “He put on this
big show in front of Erwin like the two of us have a normal father-son relationship, it was…”
he trails off with a groan, blinking his eyes open to stare blankly at the ceiling.

“I’m sorry, Jean, that —”

“How was your day?” he asks, darting his eyes toward your face.

“It was ok,” you shrug, moving a little closer to Jean on the couch. He wraps his arm around
your shoulders and you let yourself relax against his chest. “Petra wrote a resignation letter
for me.”

“Is she firing you?”

“No, she said it’s still my decision… she’s just trying to help me out.”

“Weird,” Jean hums, taking another slow sip.

“Yeah, I’m not sure how I feel about it.” You swirl your drink in your glass before bringing it
up to your lips to drink. Thanks to your empty stomach, you can already feel the familiar
flush of alcohol in your veins. “And I talked to Reiner this morning,” you say, quickly
changing topics before Jean can pry more on the subject.

“What did he have to say? Is he coming back?”

“Not until Sunday… he was just telling me about this volunteer opportunity in Hizaru.”

“Random,” Jean scoffs, brushing his thumb against your arm. “Why did he call you about
that?”

You take a long sip from your glass to avoid answering right away. This is it — your first
time telling Jean about the Hizaru trip. There’s no reason for you to feel nervous, you know
Jean will be supportive, but you can still feel your heart pounding in your chest as you build
up the courage to speak.

“He asked me if I wanted to go with him,” you mumble. You feel Jean’s body stiffen next to
you, so you sit up to face him. After all the wine he’s drank in such a short period of time,
you can see his cheeks are already flushed red. “What do you think about that, Jean?”

“Are you hooking up with Reiner, too?” Jean spits, eyes narrowing. His sharp tone has you
recoiling — where is this coming from?

“What? No, Jesus, we’re just friends,” you say, raising your hands up defensively.

“Really? Because we’re just friends, too, aren’t we?”

“You know that’s different,” you say, furrowing your brow. “There’s nothing… You have
nothing to worry about, Jean. It would just be a little trip to clear my head.”

“A little trip?” Jean scoffs. “A little trip halfway across the globe? That’s what you need to
clear your head?”

“You know I’ve been feeling confused about everything with Titan,” you say, looking down
at your lap. “I haven’t even decided if I’m going to go with him or not. I’m just thinking
about it.”

Jean keeps his narrowed gaze on you for a moment before shifting to the black screen of the
tv mounted across from the couch. He grunts in response, taking another long sip of his wine.
When he lowers the glass from his lips, he asks, “Why do you need to leave me to clear your
head?”

“It’s not like that — don’t think that,” you say quickly. “It’s just a stupid idea, I don’t think
I’ll even do it.”

“What about everyone here?” Jean asks and you can hear his voice is strained. “What about
us?”

“Do you want me to stay?”

Jean doesn’t respond. He finishes the rest of his glass and then holds it against his thigh,
running the index finger of his free hand along the rim. He sucks his cheek into his mouth
and purses his lips in thought, but still, he says nothing.

“Or we could go together,” you urge, shifting in your seat. The idea makes you break out into
a wide grin — maybe this is the solution to all of your problems. “What do you think? You
could come with me!”

“I’m not going with you to Hizaru,” Jean snaps, eyes still low as his finger traces against the
rim of his glass. “Don’t ask me that. I have a job and all my friends and family here — I can’t
just pick up everything and leave.”

“Sorry,” you say, frowning. “I just...”

“That’s so unreasonable, why would you even ask me that?”

You frown, taken aback by Jean’s harsh tone as he pours himself another glass. “I’m… I’m
sorry, I just — I want to be with you, Jean.”

“Then be with me here.”

“Ok, then I won’t go.”

“No!”

His sharp tone makes you flinch. Jean slams his glass down on the coffee table before
cradling his head in his hands, working his fingers against his scalp as he groans.

“I don’t want… Don’t make a decision like this just because of me. I —”

You watch him bury his face in his hands and take a shaky breath. Your stomach twists with
guilt for making him feel this way — he’s right, you were stupid for even suggesting the idea
in the first place.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,” you say softly, “but I’m glad we talked about this.
You’re right, I have a life here — we both do — I shouldn’t go.”

He sucks in a sharp breath, running both hands through his hair as he lifts his head up to look
at you. He’s visibly angry — but why? Aren’t you saying what he wants to hear? What are
you doing wrong — why is he still upset?

“Jean, can you talk to me? I don’t understand why you're angry.”

Jean shakes his head. He closes his eyes and pinches at the bridge of his nose, taking long,
calming breaths as you sit beside him in a panic. “I just… can you leave me alone?”

Your stomach twists in your gut from his words and you wordlessly finish the rest of your
drink before setting the empty glass down on the table and standing up. Jean doesn’t even
flinch. With a huff, you walk into the kitchen and pull out some food to prepare for yourself,
calling out behind you, “Have you eaten?”

“Not hungry,” is Jean’s muffled reply, so you cook in silence.

You can hear Jean fiddling with the wine bottle on the coffee table, probably pouring himself
another glass, but you keep your back turned to him while you cook.
You don’t understand what’s wrong with him today, but you’re not surprised — every time
you talk to Jean he’s mad about something. At this point, you’ve practically gotten used to it.

As you prepare food for yourself, you think back on moments with Jean before everything,
back when the two of you were just friends in university. Before the two of you lived
together, before Eren, before Titan — before everything got so complicated.

One memory that stands out is the night you first met.

You can remember it so clearly, even after all this time. You remember how happy you were
to be welcomed so warmly by Sasha’s friends and how disgusting Connie’s mixed drinks
tasted. You remember how kind and gentle Jean was with you when you cut your hand —
how he carefully cleaned your wound and wrapped you up, even though you insisted you
were fine.

That was the Jean you fell in love with.

Looking down at your palm, you can still see the faint marks on your skin from the shot
glass. You touch them softly with your fingertips, wondering what went wrong — what
ruined the easy chemistry the two of you had.

You look over at him sitting on the couch. You can only see the back of his head as he curls
forward to look at his phone and you frown.

You were mad at Sasha for insinuating that you had idealized Jean in your head because of
your crush, but as you look at him — still radiating anger from the other side of the room —
you wonder if maybe she was right.

People can change, and maybe you didn’t see the way Jean was changing because you were
so blinded by your love for him. Who is the real Jean?

The thought makes you sad — incredibly sad — and you shake it out of your mind
completely.

No, you tell yourself. All couples fight, we’re just having a bit of a rough patch, you insist.

Jean swears under his breath. You hear the clattering of his phone getting tossed onto the
coffee table and you find yourself flinching at the sound. Swallowing thickly, you hear his
heavy footsteps approaching as you keep your focus on the food in front of you. Your body
tenses as he nears and you almost jump when you feel him come up behind you and wrap his
arms around your waist.

Jean squeezes you gently and rests his head in the crook of your neck, kissing the bare skin
softly.

“Hey, I’m sorry,” he says quietly, but something about his tone is off. You offer him just a
hum in response, shoulders tense. “I was being a dick because I’m mad about work, I
shouldn’t have taken it out on you like that.”

“No, you shouldn’t have.”

He chuckles, pressing another soft kiss on your neck, then another and another until he’s
inching up your throat to that soft, sensitive spot behind your ear. “Let me take over,” he
whispers and his hot breath against the shell of your ear sends chills shooting down your
spine. “Let me cook for you.”

“I’m almost finished,” you say, trying to keep your voice steady when you feel Jean’s hands
start to wander across your torso.

“Turn down the burner for a second,” he says, hands squeezing your hips tightly and pulling
you flush against his front. “I want to apologize properly.”

Normally, Jean’s hands on your body and his lips on your skin like this would have you in a
frenzy — but suddenly, you feel repulsed.

“No, Jean, I’m fine,” you say, tone harsh.

His body stills against yours before he slowly uncurls himself from around you, leaning
instead on the counter beside you. He crosses his arms over his chest and regards you
carefully as you angrily stir at the food in your pan.

“Jean, you’re giving me fucking whiplash, you know that, right?” you say around clenched
teeth, looking down at your food. “You’re nice, you’re not, you’re nice, you’re not, you’re
nice — when are things going to go back to normal?”

With a heavy sigh, you shut off the burner and push the pan onto a cool burner as you turn to
face Jean with a huff. “We used to be friends — and now all of a sudden I feel like we’re
always fucking or fighting.”

You watch Jean’s jaw clench as he looks down at you, but otherwise, his expression is
unreadable.

“I miss the old Jean,” you admit, almost exasperated. “I miss being able to laugh with you
and hang out with you like normal! Instead, we just keep getting into these stupid petty fights
and arguments and I hate it, Jean — I hate it!”

“Sorry.” Jean snaps, eyes narrowing. “Maybe you should call Eren,” he nods toward the
couch, “see if he’s available to make you feel better because clearly, I’m no good at it.”

“What are you talking about?” you ask with an exasperated huff.

“You’re still calling and texting Eren,” Jean scowls. “I told you to stop that.”

“No, I’m not — what are you talking about?” you pat at your pockets, looking for your phone
before you turn to follow Jean’s gaze back at the couches. You see it sitting on the coffee
table, next to the bottle of wine.

You turn back to Jean in shock. “Did you look through my phone?”

“Why, do you have something to hide?” he sneers, and your whole body bristles.
“Why are you looking through my phone?” you ask, voice elevating in irritation. “How do
you even know my password?”

“It’s your birthday,” he explains, looking away. “You told me months ago, remember?”

“It doesn’t matter when I told you. I never gave you permission to look through my stuff.
Don’t you trust me?”

“How can I trust you when you’re talking to other guys behind my back?” Jean challenges.
“Eren… Reiner… Levi…”

“Oh, my God! Levi is my boss.”

“Yeah, well, maybe the two of you are fucking, too.”

You shake your head. “Jean, what is wrong with you? Do you really have such a low opinion
of me that you think I’m hooking up with every guy in my life?”

“Well, you haven’t done much to convince me of otherwise,” he scoffs, still looking away.

“What’s wrong with you?” you repeat, voice a little weaker, this time.

He rolls his eyes before landing them on you. “You always act like the victim. Like you’re
doing your best and everyone else around you is in the wrong,” he says, resting his hands on
the edge of the counter at his sides and gripping it hard. “Don’t you realize that you’re the
one fucking everyone around?”

“What are you talking —”

“You’re so concerned with yourself, it’s like you don’t even realize how shitty you’re acting,”
he says. “You think I’m acting crazy? I’m acting fucking crazy because you’re driving me
insane!”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“I’ve told you for literal fucking months that I don’t like you and Eren talking and you still
look for every little excuse to message him.”

You frown, wrapping your arms around your body defensively and hugging yourself tightly.
“I told you, I was trying —”

“We dated for what, two? Maybe three days? And even then Eren had his hands all over you
— and that was in front of my fucking face. Who knows what the two of you did behind my
back.”

“I didn’t cheat on you, Jean.”

“Oh yeah?” he scoffs. “Then what would you call it? Huh?”

“Why won’t you just trust me?”

He laughs, sharp and cruel. “Is that a joke? You’re —”

You watch him clench his hands into fists, so tight that his hands tremble. He’s clearly
struggling to hold back his words, teeth biting so hard into his lip that he might draw blood.

“Even when I call you out on it, you still try to make yourself out to be the victim,” he hisses,
voice low and eerily calm. “I have to trust you — I have to trust you? Oh, so if I trust you,
it’s completely ok for you to dry hump Eren in the middle of the fucking airport — my
mistake!”

“Stop it,” you hiss, taking a step back until you’re pressed against the stove. “You’re being
mean, Jean.”

He laughs again, shaking his head like this whole conversation is ridiculous. You watch him
clench and unclench his hands into fists, his body is so wound up you can see a vein pulsing
on his forehead. He’s scaring you.

“You’re right — you’re fucking right. I should let my girlfriend sleep with whoever she
wants to. If she wants to fuck Eren Jaeger, go for it! Reiner, too — why not? Maybe you’d
even want them to fucking tag team you.”

“Jean!” you snap, reeling back from his words.

“I introduced you to my mom. You were supposed to be different from other girls! Instead,
you’re just —”

“Stop, stop, stop!” you yell, lifting your hands up to block your ears. “Jean, you’re acting
crazy — please, stop! This isn’t like you!”

“How much longer do you expect me to tolerate you acting like this?” Jean asks, throwing a
hand out to emphasize his point and you flinch, bringing your hands up defensively.

He pauses, eying you carefully. “Did…” his voice drops to a whisper and suddenly his face is
pale as he leans back. “Did you think I was going to hit you?”

“You’re just yelling a lot,” you say, looking down at the ground. “I’ve only ever seen you like
this when…” You trail off, swallowing thickly as you lower your hands back down to your
sides. Maybe it was an overreaction, but all you could think about when Jean was yelling at
you was the way he pounded Eren's body into the concrete outside of the restaurant.

God, that wasn't even a week ago.

Jean returns his hands to his side, fingers fidgeting as he looks down at you. “I would never
— I would never lay a hand on you, why would you think that?” he asks, voice shaky as he
looks at you with wide eyes. “Please, I’m sorry — oh, fuck — I’m so sorry.”

He reaches out for you and then quickly pulls his hands back, crossing his arms over his chest
and then pressing his hands into his armpits and pinning himself down. “Oh my god, I’m so
— I’m so sorry, I don’t know — I didn’t mean —”
“It’s ok, Jean, I know,” you say quietly, but you're trembling, too. “You’re acting really weird
and not just today — you’ve been acting weird for a long time. I feel like I don’t know who
you are anymore.”

“Yeah,” he says quietly. It seems like your reaction has calmed him down somewhat and
you’re glad he’s not yelling anymore. His eyes are glassy and his body is trembling slightly
as he speaks, his voice coming out in a soft waver. “I don’t know what’s happening to us.”

“I feel like I can’t have a normal conversation with you anymore.”

“Just fucking and fighting,” he sighs as he tilts his head back to look up at the ceiling.

You watch his Adam’s apple bob in his throat as he swallows and the two of you stand there
in silence for a moment. Just the soft sizzling of the food in the pan cutting the silence.

“I’m an asshole,” Jean says finally. “I’m selfish and I’m mean and I’m manipulative. Maybe I
was better at hiding it in the past, but it’s all coming out now and I feel like I’m disappointing
you.”

“You’re not any of those things, Jean.”

“You’re making excuses for me when you shouldn’t.”

You try to interject but Jean cuts you off by saying your name softly, head falling forward to
look at you. You pause, pressing your lips into a tight, thin line as you look up at him, there
are loose strands of his hair falling into his eyes and an expression on his face that you can’t
quite read.

“I’ve been trying to sabotage your relationship with Eren because I don’t trust you to do the
right thing when it comes to him,” he says. “I’ve been telling you things to sway your
opinion, I’ve been reading — and deleting — his messages to you. And… fuck — yeah, I
was throwing out the coffee that he got for you because I was jealous.”

You blink up at Jean in stunned silence, trying to wrap your head around everything he’s just
told you but it feels like your brain is short-circuiting.

“I hate my dad — I always have… but I’m turning into him more and more every day and
it’s making me feel like I’m going insane,” Jean groans. “I feel like a fucking vampire or
something because every time I look in the mirror, I can’t see myself anymore.”

He sighs heavily, shoulders slumping forward. “I’m scared that I’m nobody without my dad,”
he confesses.

“You know that’s not true —”

“Do you want to know what Erwin said to me?” he asks, eyes narrowing. “He told me that
clients love me. He said that I’m doing a great job with client relations… that I’m really
influential.”

“That’s good, then… right?”

“I don’t know if they’re just saying that because I’m Jean Jr. or because I’m actually good at
my job. I don’t know if anything anyone tells me is true or if they’re just using me. And the
only way I’ll ever know for sure is if I start over.”

Jean is quiet for a really long time after speaking. His eyes shift to the floor and you watch
him suck his cheeks into his mouth, deep in thought.

“I’m sorry I scared you,” he says quietly. “I would never hurt you — I don’t want to hurt you
anymore… I’m sorry, but we can’t do this.”

You look up at him, panicked. “What? No, Jean —”

“You said it yourself, I’m not good for you.”

“That’s not what I said, I —”

Jean shakes his head, walking away from you and toward the table with all of his things. His
hands are shaking as he reaches out for his clothes, all strewn across the table, and stuffs
them back into his bag.

“Jean, where are you going?”

“Things are just going to keep getting worse and worse. We can’t do this anymore.”

“You’re not even trying,” you say, and you’re begging, now. “You’re not giving us a chance.
What about our talk the other day? I thought we had everything sorted out — what about us
sleeping together?”

“It was all a mistake,” he sighs, running his hand through his hair.

“Did you ever even care about me, Jean?” you swallow back the lump in your throat as you
speak. “Or was I just someone you kept around to stroke your ego? Someone you just kept
around because I made you feel good about yourself?”

“Of course, I care about you,” he says, closing his eyes and taking a shaky breath. “That's
why I'm doing this. I care about you so much, I don't want to hurt you anymore.”

“How do you feel when you think about life without me?” you ask, desperate. “Do things
seem dull if I’m not there to share them with you? When you imagine your future, do you see
me there, too?”

Each word comes out in a rush after the other like you’re trying to spill everything out before
you have a chance to take them back. Your chest hurts — you can’t believe this is happening
to you.

Jean is giving up.

He’s giving up on you.

“What does that even mean?” he sighs and you feel your heart breaking.
You throw your hands up in exasperation, choking back sobs. “I just don’t understand what
I’m doing wrong, Jean.” You see emotion flash across his face, but he masks it quickly by
ducking his head against his chin as he zips his bag closed. “I don’t want things to end, I want
us to keep trying because I know we can figure out it.”

“Then why are you thinking about going to Hizaru?”

“Tell me that you want me to stay,” you beg, and you know it’s pathetic but you can already
feel him slipping out of your grasp and you just need something. “Tell me that there’s
something here worth fighting for.”

“I —” Jean bites his tongue to stop the words from spilling out of his mouth — from making
things worse. He keeps his eyes clenched shut as he breathes out a sharp breath through
clenched teeth.

He’s trying to push you away and you’re still fighting for him. He’s warning you about how
awful he is, how awful he knows you know he is — but you’re still trying. You fucking
flinched when Jean threw his hand out, but you still want him to stay with you — even
though he scared you.

He doesn’t deserve you, he never has.

“I’m trying to protect you from myself,” he says, cutting through the silence.

“Who are you to decide what’s best for me?” you challenge. “I’ve forgiven you for
everything —”

Your words make him cringe. It’s true, everything that Jean has done, you’ve just dismissed
like it was nothing. How far could he go with you? How poorly could he treat you and you’d
still welcome him back into your arms?

“— and I’m not going to give up on us now, just as long as you give me one reason to keep
fighting.”

He opens his eyes to look at you and there are tears running down your cheeks. It’s such a
familiar sight that Jean hardly feels remorse anymore — this is just who he is, now. He’s
always going to make you cry like this, always going to make you feel less than because Jean
needs others to fail for him to succeed.

“This was a mistake,” he says, and he watches you crumble before his eyes.

“Ok,” you whisper, broken.

***

Jean leaves you alone in the apartment, rushing down the stairs two at a time until he's
breathless in the lobby, hand shaking as he calls for a taxi. He knows it's a bad idea to drive,
between all of the wine and the way his emotions are thrumming against his temples, and as
he slides into the backseat of the cab, he finds himself with his phone in his hands, thumbs
moving quickly to dial a number that he’s committed to memory, even after all this time.
He raises his phone up to his ear and listens to the dial tone, willing the person on the other
end to pick up.

“Hello?” comes the confused voice from the other end and Jean almost sighs in relief.

“You can have her,” Jean says. “We’re done, Eren. She’s yours.”

Eren hesitates before answering and Jean can hear him rustling on the other end. “What?”

“I said —”

“I heard what you said,” Eren says, voice sharp. “That’s not how this works. She’s not a piece
of meat.”

“Well, I don’t give a fuck anymore, ok?” Jean huffs, running his hand through his hair. “You
want her, right? Well, go take her, then. You have my blessing.”

“What did you say to her?”

“Who cares, Eren,” Jean snaps. “I don’t care what you think or what she thinks or what
anyone else thinks, ok? I’m done acting like I’m someone I’m not and I just don’t fucking
wanna do this anymore.”

“Are you ok?”

“No, I’m not fucking ok.”

“Don’t take it out on someone who cares about you,” Eren snaps. “Look — I’m glad the two
of you aren’t working out because the selfish part of me wants to swoop in and take her for
myself — but things don’t work like that in the real world.”

Jean rests his elbow on the edge of the window and pinches the bridge of his nose in
irritation. “Then how, pray tell, does the world work then, you sanctimonious fucking
asshole?”

“I can’t even believe I’m gonna say this,” Eren mutters with a groan, “but stop acting like a
fucking child, Jean.”

“I’m not acting like a child.”

“Then why the fuck are you whining like a baby?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“You called me, remember?”

“Not so you could fucking insult me.”

“Well, then, I don’t know what the fuck you want.” Eren sighs heavily and Jean bites his
tongue from spitting out another retort, waiting for Eren to say more. “Why did you call me?
I know you didn’t ring me up just to hand her off like you’re her fucking father at the altar.
You’re looking for advice, right?”

Jean shrugs but says nothing, clenching his eyes shut as he listens to the sound of Eren
breathing on the other end of the line.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Eren scoffs and Jean rolls his eyes. “You told me years ago that you
liked her but you were scared that things weren’t going to work out… so, what’s the
problem? She’s in love with you, right? That’s what you wanted?”

“I’m not good for her.”

“Are you even fucking trying?” Eren sighs. “She just wants you to show her that you love
her, too! She wants you to hold her hand, to buy her flowers... she — fuck, I can’t believe I’m
fucking coaching you into being with...”

Jean can hear Eren groaning on the other end of the line before hearing the familiar buzz of
Eren’s vape.

“You’ve always been like this, man,” Eren says, voice strained from the smoke. “You always
whine about how everything in your life is shit but you actively sabotage yourself and you
don’t even bother trying to change.”

“What do you mean?” Jean asks quietly, listening closely.

“Ever since I’ve known you, it’s always been all: Woe is me. My life is so hard. My dad
sucks,” Eren whines in a high-pitched imitation of Jean. “And I get it, Jean — I really do.
Your dad does suck, but there’s nothing you can do about him, ok? You need to focus on
yourself and things that you can change.”

“Well, what am I supposed to do?”

“Do better,” Eren sighs. “Jean, I know you. You're not a bad guy, so stop acting like it.”

Jean hums noncommittally, letting his eyes blink open so he can watch the city fly by from
the window of the taxi.

“What if I can’t?” he asks quietly. "What if I can't be better?"

“Well, you’re not gonna change if you just sit around and hope for things to be different,”
Eren says after another pull of his vape. “You have to actually put in work — you know, you
should talk to Armin.”

Jean knows this. Everything that Eren is saying to him, he’s already realized himself. But
hearing someone else saying it out loud feels… different.

“I haven’t really talked to him in a while,” Jean confesses and Eren laughs.

“Yeah, I know… you know, we didn’t have to split the friend group when we divorced.”
“I didn’t wanna hear Armin talk about how you and I needed to make up and be friends again
every other day.”

“Oh, yeah, he still does that to me,” Eren says and both boys chuckle. “He says we just have
to apologize to each other and we’ll be friends again.”

Jean hums in response but otherwise says nothing. He fiddles with the fabric of his shorts as
he watches the city through the window in the taxi.

Friends again, he thinks, rolling the thought around in his head. It feels like such a ridiculous
thing to say after he's spent the past few years hating Eren Jaeger... but why did he hate him
again in the first place? Jean can hardly remember after all this time.

After a beat of silence, Eren says, “I’m sorry for being such an asshole back then.”

"Yeah, you were an asshole," Jean snorts and Eren laughs.

Eren pulls another long drag from his vape and Jean can hear the strain in his voice when he
speaks again, "I just want you to know I’m sorry. I should’ve been more considerate about
how you were feeling that night.”

“I’m sorry, too, Eren,” Jean sighs. “I really am.”

Eren laughs but it sounds sad over the phone. “See? You’re doing better already. Keep it up.”

“Whatever,” Jean scoffs, but he’s smiling, now.

"And... I'm happy for you guys, ok?" he adds, speaking quietly. "I think she really loves you
and you'd be stupid to lose someone like her... Just give her some space and then apologize
when you’re not so heated. She’ll forgive you… she always does.”

"Maybe she won't forgive me this time... She cares a lot about you, Eren — you know that,
right?"

"Don't say that," he says around another pull of his vape. "Please, I don't want to get my
hopes up."

***

You don’t feel sad anymore, just defeated.

You’re not even sure if you cried at all after Jean left. You just feel hollow and empty and
broken. You feel stupid and foolish and immature. You feel sick and hopeless and angry.

You loved Jean for so long — for so fucking long — and now what are you supposed to do?

When was the last time that you and Jean had fun together without being bookended by an
argument? You’re starting to question your entire friendship with him these past few years.
Maybe you really did idealize him in your head to the point that you ignored all of his flaws.
He never yelled like that when you were just friends, did he? Or drink so much? Or get so
aggressive? Did you ignore every red flag with your rose-coloured glasses or did he change
so drastically because of you?

You’re going to have to move out of your place with the Core Four, you realize. Now that
you and Jean aren’t together — aren’t even friends — you’ll need your own place. Sasha and
Connie will kick you out because they’ll side with their friend, and you’ll be alone.

You’re going to have to quit your job, too. You can’t come into work every day and sit across
from Jean, pretending like things are ok. You’re going to have to completely start over
because you have nothing. Jean and the Core Four were your everything and now you're
alone.

But Jean was right — you're not innocent. You treated both Jean and Eren terribly, but then
victimized yourself and warped the truth so that you wouldn't feel guilty about the things you
were doing. When you were seeking out Eren for comfort, it was because you and Jean
weren't really dating. And when you were sleeping with Jean, it was ok that you were still
kissing Eren because — technically — you were single.

You loved Jean but you also wanted Eren, and you couldn't bring yourself to let either of
them go even though you knew it was causing problems. Jean hated that you were still
talking to Eren and Eren was trying so hard to be better for you — while you were sleeping
with Jean behind his back.

What a stupid fucking mess you’ve gotten yourself into.

You stumble into the living room, collapsing onto the couch and grabbing your phone off of
the coffee table. It’s still unlocked and open from when Jean was snooping through it — open
on your text conversation with Eren.

You swallow thickly, looking down at the last set of messages you had sent him, and then you
scroll up further to read older messages.

sry for calling i was just thinkin about you :)

Reading the words makes you choke back a sob.

You think about calling Eren and apologizing for everything. For using him and stringing him
along, even when you knew he was in love with you. Back then, you tried to rationalize your
behaviour by telling yourself that you were just fuck buddies, but you know that hasn’t been
true for a long time.

There have been so many moments with Eren that made you question your feelings for him.
The way he was there for you every time you were upset at work — holding you and kissing
away the tears and bringing you little treats — even though he was just a fuck buddy.

The way his eyes softened when he would look at you. How he would cradle you in his arms
and press you tight into his chest for comfort. The way he would say your name, soft and
gentle, even when you were breaking his heart.
You press the heels of your hands into your eyes, hoping to push the tears back when you feel
them rolling down your cheeks. Is it too late? Did you ruin things with Eren?

You want him, you realize.

You need him. Now, more than ever.

And you know you’re doing exactly what Jean just criticized you for, but you can’t help
yourself — you need Eren to comfort you. It's selfish and manipulative and cruel, but you
can't stop yourself from typing out the words.

You don’t even know if what you’re saying is true — you just know it’s the only thing you
can say that will get him to respond.

Eren, I forgive you.

 Rekindled (e)
Chapter Notes

Thank you all so much for 60k views!! 🥰💗 I don't deserve you 🥺
cw: Angst, hurt, vaping, explicit language, explicit sexual content (oral, fingering,
vaginal sex, dirty talk, multiple positions, multiple orgasms, dubious consent: high sex)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

The next few days at work go by in a blur. You feel like you’re on autopilot: wake up, work,
home, sleep, repeat.

Sasha has been texting you pretty much every five minutes since the night of your fight with
Jean. You can only assume that he talked to her when he got home after leaving Reiner’s, but
when you saw the first message from Sasha, you felt your heart sink into your stomach.

IM SO FUCKING ANGRY

You were ready to throw your phone out the nearest window and curl up in a ball. It was bad
enough that Jean hated you, but now, Sasha, too?

But then she followed up with:

JUST SAY THE WORD AND I’LL BEAT HIS ASS

OH MY GOD IM SHAKING
JEAN IS SUCH A PIECE OF SHIT

Even in your hollow state, you couldn’t help but chuckle. You watched Sasha’s messages
come in one after another, explaining how he told her what happened. How even from his
perspective, she still thought he sounded like the asshole.

Sasha tried to call, but you weren’t in the mood to talk to anyone. Even today, you still
haven’t responded to any of her messages, but she’s still sending soft words of support.

have a good day! <3 lmk if you need anything

love you love you forever <333333

But from Eren and Jean, you’ve heard nothing.

You don’t expect Jean to message you — you don’t even expect him to ever speak to you
again, but you’re still trying.
You’ve sent him a few messages, apologizing for upsetting him, asking to see him again —
but he’s ignored them all. You wouldn’t be surprised if he has you blocked.

You know that things between you and Jean are fucked up, but you can’t help but want to
keep trying. It’s bad enough that you’re shitty at this job you’ve been working toward your
whole adult life, but to have your relationship fail, too?

And you know it’s wrong. You know you’re being selfish. You know it’s cruel... but you’re
still texting Eren, too.

He hasn’t responded to your message, even though you thought you finally said what he’s
been waiting to hear this whole time.

The radio silence is what you deserve after everything you’ve done to both boys.

It was a stupid plan to begin with: sleeping with Jean’s ex-best friend to make him jealous.
From the start, you were trying to be sneaky and manipulate Jean’s feelings when you
could’ve just been upfront and honest. If you had just told Jean how you felt, none of this
would have happened.

This mess is your fault. And now, even the one person that you thought really, truly loved
you, doesn’t want anything to do with you. You feel sick.

It’s not until the end of the day on Saturday while you’re packing your things that Levi
finally says something.

“You’ve been looking worse than usual.”

You can’t even find it in yourself to offer him a lighthearted laugh.

“Is everything ok?”

You just shake your head, keeping your head low as you remove your apron, folding it up
neatly before tucking it into your bag. “I’m just tired.”

“Tired, my ass,” Levi scoffs, stepping in front of the main doors to block your exit. You
watch as he flicks the lock of the door behind his back and then flips the sign to Closed,
before gesturing to one of the tables in the tearoom. “Take a seat, I’ll make you some tea.”

You don’t have the energy to argue with him so you slink over to one of the empty chairs and
collapse into it, sitting with your face buried in your hands as Levi prepares you some tea.

He comes back a few minutes later with two teacups and sets one down in front of you while
he sits down with the other on the opposite end of the table. He lifts his cup from the table,
fingers pressed against the rim of the cup, before bringing it up to his lips and taking a slow
sip.

“So?” he urges as you look up at him. “Are you going to tell me what’s got you walking
around like a zombie or are you just going to sit here and cry?”
“Can I just cry?”

“No.”

This time, you do laugh. You rub your face with your hands before reaching down to wrap
your fingers around the cup of tea in front of you, feeling the warmth against your skin. You
can tell it’s some sort of tea latte from the foam, but your nose is so congested from crying
these past few days that you can’t recognize the smell.

“Boy drama,” you say in dismissal, but Levi arches a brow at you in a way that compels you
to keep talking. “Jean and I broke up… for good, I think.”

"I thought you weren't really dating him."

You make a strangled noise in your throat, shrugging. "I don't know. Everything's been
messed up from the beginning."

Levi scoffs and rolls his eyes, but for some reason, it doesn’t discourage you from speaking
further.

“I just feel kind of… numb, I guess? I’ve been in love with him for so long and then when he
and I got together, he was so different from what I was expecting,” you admit, looking down
at your cup. “I feel betrayed — like he was tricking me into falling for someone he’s not, but
I know that’s not true… I just… I don’t know.”

You’re openly sobbing now in front of Levi, curling forward in your seat until your body is
hunched over your cup of tea. For the first time, you see Levi’s face soften as he looks at you
from across the table.

“I feel like an absolute failure. Like everything I do is wrong,” you say quietly and Levi tsks.
“I’m bad at my job, I take advantage of the people who care about me, and I don’t even know
what my real feelings are for anyone.”

Levi’s eyes narrow but he says nothing, taking another slow sip from his tea.

“I decided what I’m going to do with work,” you say, blowing steam away from your cup and
raising it up to your mouth. “I’m going to quit Titan.”

“Good,” Levi hums, nodding in approval as you take a sip.

The vanilla on your tongue makes your chest tighten and you have to lower the cup back
down to the table quickly before your hands start shaking. You clear your throat to calm your
nerves as you continue, speaking in a rush. “I just feel like I need to start over. There are so
many bad memories tied to that place that I don’t think I can go back and be myself if I’m
working there.”

“Good,” Levi repeats.

“And then… I don’t know,” you say. “I want to go to Hizaru, but it feels like I’d just be
running away from my problems.”
“Is that a bad thing?” Levi asks with a cocked brow.

“No, I guess not,” you hum, shrinking in your seat and suddenly feeling like you’re a student
back in his class again. “It’s just… scary.”

“Anything new is scary,” Levi says, “you can’t confuse happiness for complacency.”

“Yeah,” you say, swallowing thickly. “That’s right.”

“You can keep working here for as long as you like,” Levi says above the rim of his cup. “If
you need to save up money for your little trip or whatever else you want to do after you quit
Titan — there will always be room for you here.”

You feel a little lighter from Levi’s offer and you look up at him with gratitude. “Thank you,
Levi. I really appreciate that. I’ll talk to Reiner tomorrow and figure out what I need for this
trip and I’ll let you know.”

Levi nods and sets his now-empty cup down, clasping his hands together on his knee as he
stares at you from across the table. You offer him a tight-lipped smile, feeling uncomfortable
under his gaze as you finish your tea.

“What is this?” you ask, trying to fill the silence.

“It’s a London Fog,” he explains. “I heard you and Jaeger talking about vanilla lattes the
other day — it's just like one, but made with tea instead of coffee.”

You nod in consideration, letting the liquid sit on your tongue for a moment before
swallowing. Sweet and vanilla, without the bitter bite of coffee — the same, but different.

“And hey, brat?” he says, drawing your attention back to him before you sink into your cup
of tea. “I’m sure things will work out between the two of you.”

“Who?” you ask, but Levi doesn’t clarify. You take another slow sip of your drink, holding it
closely with two hands to hide the way your hands shake. “I hope you’re right.”

***

You call Eren again when you get back to the apartment. You don’t expect him to answer —
he hasn’t answered any of your messages from the past few days — but you just want to hear
the sound of his voice from his voicemail and tell him about your decision to quit Titan. You
want to tell him that you’re leaving.

To your surprise, the ringing tone cuts out and you hear a familiar, deep voice. “Hello?”

You don’t say anything at first — you’re too stunned. You just swallow thickly, holding the
phone up to your ear with shaky hands as you stammer around something to say.

“Hellooo? Anyone there?” he teases and you crumble completely into the couch.
“Eren! I —” You’re not even sure what you want to say, all of your thoughts are coming out
in a jumbled mess.

“Hey, slow down, slow down,” he coos and his voice is so soft and soothing that you feel
yourself relaxing immediately. “What’s up, why did you call?”

“I just…” You continue to stammer, looking around Reiner’s apartment as if there’s

something here that can help you with the words that are stuck on your tongue. “I miss you,”
you say finally.

He sighs and even through the phone you know he’s playing with his hair. You can hear it
from the way his rings clink together. “I miss you, too.”

“Can I see you?”

He’s quiet for a long time before responding. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“I… yeah. It is.”

“Ok,” he hums but his tone is off. “I can come by in a few minutes.”

“No! I… I want to come to you,” you say, sitting up a little taller. This apartment feels so
much like Jean after these past few days that you’re eager to escape. “If that’s ok.”

“That’s ok,” he says and you can hear the clinking of his rings again. “I’ll text you my
address, it’s just a short walk over.”

“Thank you, Eren.”

“See you soon.”

You hold your phone in your hands until the message with Eren’s address arrives and you
immediately plug it into your Maps app. He’s right, it’s only a short walk away, so you grab
your things and leave Reiner’s in a hurry.

Eren lives downtown, near Titan in a luxury apartment building located near the seawall. You
almost feel underdressed as you walk up to the main entrance. Like Reiner’s apartment
complex, you have to be buzzed in by one of the guests before you’re allowed to even enter
the building, so you look for Eren’s room number and press the little red button next to it.

He doesn’t say anything over the speaker, he just buzzes you in and you can hear the heavy
metal lock in the door click open before you reach out to enter the building. You walk
through the lobby towards the elevators to find one opening just as you approach. Curiously,
you walk in and see that his floor is already lit up in green and you settle into the elevator as
the doors begin to close.

When the doors open on Eren’s floor, you start to feel nervous. The adrenaline of Eren
answering your call and then the excitement of you rushing over has finally worn off and
now you’re a shaking, anxious mess.
You have to thumb the Door Open button a few times to keep it open for you as you stand
against the far wall of the elevator, breathing hard and petrified. You’d probably stay there for
another hour or two if the elevator didn’t start violently beeping at you.

Scrambling out of the elevator, the doors finally close behind you. You take a deep breath and
look for his room on the sign in front of the elevator before walking down the hall toward it.

When you find his room, you stop in front of the doors and fiddle with your hands. You take
a few quick breaths to try to calm yourself down before reaching out with one hand to knock
next to the golden 845 on his door.

Unlike the thin doors and walls of the hotel in Trost, you can’t hear Eren’s feet padding
towards the door before he opens it. Instead, you’re surprised when the door suddenly swings
inward and you’re greeted by the sight of Eren standing in the doorway.

You want to melt. You want to cry. You want to rush into his arms and sob.

But instead, you just release a shaky breath and offer him a small smile. “Hi,” you say.

“Hi,” he responds, but when he smiles back it doesn’t quite reach his bloodshot eyes. He
steps aside from the doorway, holding the door open a little wider for you, and gestures for
you to come inside, which you do.

Eren’s apartment is a stylishly decorated, modern one-bedroom suite — a stark difference

from Reiner’s haphazardly furnished studio apartment. One of the walls in his apartment is
entirely made of windows overlooking the seawall and the ocean. You almost whistle in
admiration at the sight — you didn’t expect Eren’s home to be so lavish.

Despite the carefully decorated apartment, you can’t help but feel like it’s devoid of any
personality. There are no pictures on the walls or clutter on the counters to show that it’s
lived-in — it almost seems like a showroom, if not for the thick stench of weed filling the
room.

“My dad paid some interior design girl to decorate the place before I moved in,” Eren says
from behind you — as if he can read your mind — shutting and locking the door. “Trust me,
if I was in charge of decorating, it wouldn’t look like this.”

You laugh for what feels like the first time in days. You’re almost shocked at how
comfortable and relaxed you feel by just being in Eren’s presence and it makes your heart
twist and twist until you feel like you’re suffocating. To hide your feelings, you walk towards
the window-wall and look down at the city, admiring the view as Eren stands behind you.

“You look like shit,” he scoffs and you laugh again.

“So do you,” you respond and he snorts.

You turn around just in time to catch him running a hand through his hair and you watch his
fingers glide through his dark locks, pulling them back from his face for a moment before
they return back against his cheeks. You feel that twisting feeling in your heart again as you
take a shaky step towards him.

He eyes you carefully, his other hand fiddling with his vape before he brings it up to his lips.
You watch him take in a deep breath, longer than you’ve ever seen him do in the car with
you, before he exhales the smoke through his nostrils.

“Why were you ignoring me?” you ask, blunt and to the point. You’re so sick and tired of all
these games and plans and schemes. You saw how poorly that worked out with Jean and
you’re determined not to make the same mistake again.

“You said you wanted space,” he says and you frown at him, unconvinced.

Under your gaze, he cracks, and you watch his eyes dart away from you as his hands fiddle
with his vape. “It hurt seeing Jean come over right after I left,” he says, and his face twists
with pain. “I know you’ve been trying to get with him this whole time, but… I don’t know…
I was trying so hard to get you to forgive me because I knew I didn’t have time — not with
Jean in the picture… and so when I saw him, I just….”

He trails off and pulls another thick drag from his vape as you look at him. "You called me at
a good time, you know — I was going to keep ignoring you, but I'm so fucking high right
now, I almost feel like I'm dreaming." He takes another drag before shooting you an impish
grin — but still, there's no happiness in his eyes. "Are you really here?"

“I’m sorry,” you say earnestly, taking another step toward him. “I’ve been so stupid. I don’t
know what I was thinking.”

He waves you off but you continue. “You were right — I was so afraid of being lonely that I
kept seeing you even though I knew… I thought I wanted Jean.”

Eren’s eyes flick up to meet yours as you take another shaky step forward.

“I was being selfish and stupid and I was so mean to you, Eren,” you say, and your voice
cracks around your words. “I’m so sorry and I know there’s no excuse for the way I treated
you, but I hope you can forgive me.”

Surprisingly, he laughs, but you can see that his smile still isn’t quite hitting his eyes when he
looks at you. “You’re apologizing, but nothing’s changed,” he says and you furrow your
brows in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

He shrugs limply, stuffing both hands into the pockets of his sweatpants. “I know that you
and Jean are fighting… that’s the only reason you’re here right now.”

You feel that sick, twisting sensation in your chest again and you find yourself with your
hands pressed against your chest as if it can soothe the ache. “Eren, no, I —”

“It’s ok,” he says, and he closes the gap between the two of you. He wraps his arms around
your shoulders and pulls you tight against his chest. Your knees almost give in when you feel
his body against yours and you find yourself taking slow, shuddering breaths as you nuzzle
your nose into his chest, inhaling the familiar, comforting vanilla scent.

“It’s ok,” he repeats, squeezing you tight with one arm while he cradles the back of your head
with his other hand. “You know, I can never say no to you… not when you’re like this.”

“Ok,” you squeak, quietly against his chest and you want him to crush you in his arms — to
hurt you as badly as you've hurt him — but he holds you closely against him until you stop
shaking, comforted by his hands on your body and the soft thumping of his heart in his chest.

When you pull away, you look up at him with watery eyes and he looks just as wrecked as
you feel. You swallow thickly and twist your hands around the fabric of his shirt, like you’re
afraid that he might pull away from you.

“I’m quitting Titan,” you say and you wince in anticipation of his reaction. “I know you told
me not to, but I can’t do it anymore, Eren — I’m sorry, I have to give up.”

His face twists in disappointment, as you expected, but the words that come out of his mouth
surprise you. “That’s not giving up — did I make you think that?” he sounds hurt. “I don’t
care if you quit Titan, it’s ok.”

When you sob, he squeezes you a little tighter, pressing his lips against your temple and
kissing you so softly that it makes your skin tingle. “I’m sorry if you thought you had to stay
there for me,” he says, soft and quiet.

“I don’t know what I thought,” you admit, frowning hard. “My head is all jumbled up from
everything. I’ve been so stressed with work and then you and Jean and everything — I just
—”

You take another shuddering breath to continue but Eren shushes you. “Hey, it’s ok, just
relax.”

You let Eren guide you over to your couch until the two of you are seated together. Without
even thinking, you find yourself crawling into his lap and straddling his hips like you used to.
He doesn’t protest — he just holds you tighter until your twisted grip on his clothing finally
loosens.

“I don’t know why you’re being so nice to me,” you say, sniffling when you pull away from
his chest. You sit perched on his thighs, looking down at him with swollen, watery eyes.

“You forgave me for all the shit that I did,” he says, cupping your face with his hands to
brush your tears away with his thumbs. “And what I did was a lot worse than anything
you’ve ever done to me… plus, this is supposed to be us starting over, right?”

You smile down at him but you feel like bursting into tears all over again. “Right,” you say
and you lean forward to kiss him.

To your surprise, he ducks his head to the side and you end up with your lips pressed against
his cheek. Instantly, you feel a flood of embarrassment but he quickly says, “I’m not going to
kiss someone who’s actively crying, remember?”

You laugh again, leaning your head forward into Eren’s shoulder and letting him rub soothing
circles on your back. You missed this, you missed him.

“I’m really happy you agreed to see me,” you say, running your hands down his biceps and
squeezing them tightly. “I didn’t realize how much I needed you until you left.”

“Fuck, look at you being all sappy,” he teases but his voice is strained and he quickly changes
the subject. “Have you given much thought about Hizaru with Reiner?”

You hum in response, feeling his arms flex whenever he presses his palms against your back.
“I’m going to talk to Reiner about it tomorrow when he gets back home, but I think… I think
I’m going to go.”

“That’ll be fun,” he says, squeezing you a little tighter. “Reiner’s a good guy, he can take care
of you out there.”

“There’s nothing going on between me and Reiner,” you clarify quickly, remembering Jean’s
outburst from the other day.

“Woah, ok, sure, that’s cool,” he says, audibly confused and you feel your face burning in
embarrassment. “I didn’t say that there was.”

“Sorry, I just… we’re just friends.”

“I know,” Eren assures. "He did a good job of looking after you with this whole stress leave
thing. Letting you stay at his place, helping you out at the airport... he's been a good friend to
you."

"You were there, too," you say quietly. "At the airport... I remember."

"I think I made things worse," he chuckles, drawing little circles on your back with his
fingers as he speaks. "I was so fucking scared when I saw you like that, I just flipped out —
you needed Reiner, not me."

“I appreciate it,” you say quietly. “I remember you trying to hold me. I remember the
vanilla.”

“Vanilla?”

“Your cologne,” you explain and you take a long slow breath with your nose pressed against
his shirt for emphasis.

“Ok, creep,” he laughs and he shifts his hands from your back to your hips.

You lift your head off his shoulder and brush away the last of the tears on your face. You can
feel that your face is still puffy from crying, but from the way Eren’s looking at you, you
can’t find it in yourself to be embarrassed.
“You mean a lot to me, Eren,” you confess, swallowing thickly. You slide your hands up his
arms to rest on the curve between his shoulder and his neck. “I’m so sorry about everything,
but I really want to be with you right now.”

It feels like several emotions flash across Eren’s face at once from your words, but the one
that sticks is pain. His eyebrows pitch up in the centre of his forehead and he presses his lips
into a tight line as he looks at you softly. He says your name quietly and it sends chills down
your spine.

“This hurts,” he says, mouth hardly moving as he whispers his words. “I love you so fucking
much and there’s nothing more I want than to have you but…” He swallows thickly and
despite the way his gaze wavers, he keeps his head up as he speaks. “I can’t be your
consolation prize because you couldn’t get Jean to love you.”

You feel your heart twisting again. “That’s not —”

“It is,” he says, rubbing small circles on your hipbones with his thumbs. “I spent months with
you — hearing you tell me how much you loved him, how much you wanted to be with him,
and then everything that came after… I know you're just using me to make yourself feel
better.”

“That's not true,” you insist but he shakes his head.

“I know you think that,” he says and he looks really hurt, now. “I know you’re going to say
anything you can think of to make me believe you — but I can’t believe you when I know
you only reached out because Jean doesn’t want you. I know that no matter what you say to
me today, you’ll still go back to him tomorrow.”

His words cut like a knife but you’ve been crying for so long that you don’t have any tears
left to spill. You just look at him with wide eyes as you stutter and stammer over your words
— but he’s right.

No matter what thoughts are jumbled up in your head, the only reason you’re here right now
is because Jean doesn’t want you and you just need someone to love you. That's why you
texted Eren. That's why you called him. That's why you're here.

Even though you apologized, you’re still hurting Eren.

You swallow thickly and look down at his lap. “You’re right, I… I don’t love you, Eren.”

It sounds like a stranger is speaking, you feel so disconnected from everything that’s going
on: the warmth of Eren’s body against you, the cold trails of tears on your cheeks, the ache in
your heart, and the flurry in your thoughts.

“I know,” he says, and when you look up at his face, he’s smiling at you despite the way his
eyes glisten. He bites at his cheek and you know he’s about to tell you to leave, so you
quickly speak.

“But can we pretend that I do? Just for tonight?”

His shoulders crumble from your words and you can see him fighting against himself as he
tries to respond. You know you’re just using him — again — but you also know that he loves
you, and he can’t say no.

You want to hate yourself for taking advantage of him like this — for being a hypocrite. You
scolded him and punished him for his past and here you are, doing the exact same thing.

“You’re bad for me,” he sighs, squeezing your hips a little tighter in his hands. “You’re the
karma that I deserve after everything I did and — fuck — is she ever a bitch.”

He brings one hand up to cradle your cheek and you lean into the warmth of his palm. You
watch his eyes scan your face, gaze soft as he sighs heavily. “Ok…” he concedes, brushing
his thumb against your skin. “Let’s pretend.”

You lean forward until your lips connect with his. Your eyes flutter shut as you wrap your
arms around his head, slipping your tongue easily into his mouth as he hugs you tight against
his chest. You melt into him, moaning into his mouth when he returns your kiss with fervour.

The kiss is messy — just a tangle of lips and tongues and spit as you ravage each other. Each
brush of his tongue against yours has you gripping the hair on the back of his head tighter and
you can feel his fingers dig into your skin as he pulls you down against his crotch.

You mindlessly grind in his lap, running your hand through his hair as you pull him closer
and closer but it’s still not enough. You want your bodies to be pressed so tightly against one
another that you don’t know where he ends and where you begin.

He presses forward, leaning into you for a hungry, desperate kiss as his teeth nip against your
lower lip. You find yourself gasping and panting as you rock back and forth in his lap, needy
for friction as his lips start to trail down from your mouth to your jaw.

“I’m so fucking stupid,” he mumbles to himself, and you tug on his hair tightly.

You groan in pleasure as he grows hard beneath you. You keep tugging on his hair,
whimpering as his mouth trails down your neck and his hands find their way under the hem
of your shirt. With his hands gripped around your waist, he stands up. Your legs wrap around
him like it’s second nature as he walks the two of you toward his bedroom, never letting his
lips leave your skin as he litters your throat with soft bites and kisses.

Eren nudges his bedroom door open with his foot before carrying you inside, laying you
down on your back on the edge of his bed as he kneels between your open thighs.

He pulls away finally and you look up from beneath him. His hands are pressed into the
mattress on either side of your head as you watch his eyes hungrily roam your body. “Fuck,”
he growls and he reaches a hand back behind his head to grab the collar of his shirt, pulling it
off and tossing it to the side until his bare chest is revealed to you.

You raise your hands to touch his shoulders. You run your hands lightly across them before
sliding down to his chest and then lower over his abs until he shivers from your touch. Eren’s
gaze softens from his hungry stare as he sits up on his knees, sliding his hands under the hem
of your shirt and dragging it up across your torso before discarding it aside with his shirt.

You reach behind your back to undo your bra and Eren peels it off your skin to discard with
the rest. He lowers his hands back down to the mattress near your head and the two of you
just stay there, breathing heavily and admiring each other’s bodies for a long moment.

Eren moves first — leaning forward to press his lips against yours and this time there’s no
desperation in the way his mouth moves — just passion and care. He kisses you like this is
the last time you’ll ever be together, like he wants to remember every inch of your mouth
with his tongue, like this is the end.

The thought makes your blood run cold and you push it out of your mind by wrapping your
arms around his back and pulling him until his body is pressed flush against yours. You
missed the way it felt to have him on top of you like this, the way he was always so
suffocating but not enough, all at once.

Eren rests down on his forearms to press into you deeper and you can feel his clothed cock
between your legs as his hips press down into yours.

“Eren,” you gasp, barely allowing yourself to break away from the kiss to say his name and
he just moans into your mouth in response.

The removal of your pants is hurried and frantic. Your hands dive down to push your
leggings off your hips just as Eren reaches down to pull down his sweats until the two of you
are fully bare against one another. Eren reaches a hand underneath you to press against the
small of your back, lifting you up off of the mattress and sliding you forward until your head
is resting on his pillows — never once removing his lips from yours.

You buck your hips against him, grinding yourself against the length of his cock as your
hands grab and squeeze every inch of his body. If he’s going to map out the way your mouth
feels against his tongue, you’re going to map out the way his skin feels under your touch.

You run your hands down the hard muscles of his back, revelling in the way they tense and
flex from his hands moving against your body. You trail down to his lower back, following
the dip before the curve of his ass and then squeezing hard.

Eren laughs into your mouth and you give his ass another hard squeeze with both of your
hands, pulling his hips against yours to keep his cock sliding against your slick pussy. “Eren,
I need you so bad,” is all your flustered brain can think to say.

His head dips to kiss your neck again and you feel his hands sliding up and down along your
waist as his mouth leaves a hot trail across your collarbones, around each of your nipples, and
down your stomach.

His large hands press hard into your hipbones as you try to buck up against his face while he
peppers wet, open-mouthed kisses against your pelvis and down the inside of each of your
thighs. He keeps his bright, emerald eyes fixed on your face as he runs his tongue up the
length of your inner thigh, stopping just before he brushes against your dripping cunt.
“Eren,” you whine, helpless under his strong grip as he does it again to the opposite thigh.
He’s barely touched you and you can already feel a wet spot on the sheets beneath you from
where your arousal has dripped between your thighs.

“I missed you so much,” he sighs. His tongue is hot as it slides against your skin and your
hips move of their own accord — squirming and bucking and wanting.

Eren nips at the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, making you suck in a sharp breath, and just
as your hands start to tear the sheets off the bed, he leans forward and finally runs his tongue
between your folds.

You can only offer him a guttural moan in response and he does it again and again and again
until you’re writhing and desperate beneath him. Only then does he finally sink his hot, wet
mouth around your clit, enveloping it fully before pressing his tongue firmly against you.

“Shit, Eren,” you gasp, hands flying down between your legs, but rather than tangling your
fingers in his hair, you reach for his hands, instead. You interlace your fingers with his and he
uses his grip on your hands to help hold your hips down as your clit throbs against his
tongue.

He holds his mouth there for a moment, eyes still looking up at you before you feel him start
to make slow, gentle flicks with his soft tongue. After all of the teasing and your desperation,
just this soft movement alone has you on the brink of orgasm as you squirm beneath him.

And he knows — you know he knows from the way his eyes glint up at you. Eren keeps his
same slow pace, chin brushing against your slick entrance as his tongue works against your
clit. He keeps his gaze steady on your face as your cheeks burn in arousal — watching you
closely.

You can only babble out his name, chest heaving with every breath as you feel sweat beading
across your forehead. Even under Eren’s strong hold, your hips begin to rock against his face
for more and more, but he doesn’t relent.

Your orgasm builds slowly — so painfully slowly that you’re practically in tears as you
squirm in his grip. You gnaw at your lower lip and throw your head back, feeling the burn of
heat growing and growing between your thighs and adding to the building ache of your
arousal. And just when you think you can’t take it anymore, Eren shifts below you and one of
his hands slips away from your grasp. He brings his hand up between your legs and you feel
his fingers brushing up and down your entrance, splitting open your folds with the soft pads
of his fingers, before he pushes two thick digits into your body.

Before you can sob out his name, you feel his tongue against your clit moving faster and
faster — each flick in tune with the pumping of his fingers into your pussy and the curl
against your sweet spot.

It’s too much all at once and you cum with a loud cry — your whole body tensing as your
back arches up off of the mattress, thighs shuddering on either side of Eren’s head and you’re
not sure if you want to clamp them tight around him or let them fall limp against the mattress.
You feel like you’re breaking Eren’s hand from how tightly you’re crushing it with your own,
but he doesn’t stop as you clench and gush against his face — he just keeps his same steady
pace to help work you through another mind-breaking orgasm that only Eren fucking Jaeger
can give you.

Eren only removes his mouth from around your clit when your body falls limp on the
mattress and your pussy stops squeezing around his fingers. You’re breathless and exhausted,
eyes fluttering shut but you reach out with weak hands to grab at him when you feel him
shifting away from his position between your legs.

“Wait, Eren,” you say, voice shaky and unsteady as you grab out at nothing.

You hear the sliding of his bedside drawer opening and the sound of him rummaging through
it. After a few more slow, calming breaths, you open your eyes to see Eren retrieving a small
foil packet from his drawer.

You look at him in confusion as he returns to his position knelt between your sprawled open
thighs. You watch him tear open the packet with his teeth before pulling out the circular
condom, pinched between two fingers.

“What are you doing?” you ask, brows furrowed as you watch him bring the condom down to
his dripping cock. He presses it against the head of his dick and rolls it on before his eyes
flick up to your face.

“We're not exclusive anymore, right?”

You open your mouth to protest but you hesitate just long enough to see the hurt flash across
Eren’s face. He nods, swallowing thickly before directing his attention back down to his cock
and sliding the rubber down his full length.

He gives himself a few firm strokes to make sure the condom is on correctly before resting
one palm on the mattress near your head. The other grips around the base of his cock and
guides it towards your flushed entrance, rubbing it back and forth across your clit while you
shudder beneath him.

“I’m sorry,” you say quietly and his eyes flick back up to your face.

“We’re pretending right now, ok?” he whispers and he leans forward to press his lips against
yours just as he slides his cock into you.

You moan into his mouth from the feeling of his thick cock stretching out your walls. You
wrap your arms around his back, digging your nails into his skin as he makes slow, shallow
thrusts into your body until he’s pressed tight against you.

He stays like that for a moment, cock fully nestled in your pussy as your tongue slides across
the slick of you on his mouth. Eren reaches back to grab one of your arms, pulling it away
from his back and firmly on the mattress. He slides his hand up along your forearm until it
meets your hand and then interlaces his fingers with yours.
Eren does the same thing with your other hand until you’re pinned beneath him under each of
his big, strong hands. He raises them slightly up the mattress above your head before pulling
away and looking down at you.

"No marks," he scolds, and you feel like sobbing.

"No marks."

When you meet his gaze, you feel yourself melting from the soft look he’s giving you. You've
never seen him so vulnerable before — eyes wide as they scan across your face. He's biting
his lip, like he's trying not to speak, and his hands clench tight around yours.

“I love you,” he says and his voice cracks around the words. “I really love you.”

His eyes are glistening and you feel that familiar twisting of your heart in your chest. “Eren, I
—”

“Please don’t say anything,” he says, sniffing sharply. “This is hard enough as it is, ok?”

You swallow and let your mouth fall closed, giving him just two quick nods.

“I love you,” he whispers, leaning forward to press his mouth against yours as his hips start
to move.

Eren’s hips slide against yours, pounding into you and grinding against your clit while his
hands squeeze you tight. You gasp and moan into his mouth, legs wrapping around his waist
to pull him impossibly closer — but it’s still not enough. Eren fills you again and again until
the hollow feeling in your chest doesn’t feel so empty anymore, and you want to scream and
cry and hold him in your heart but he keeps you pinned down to the bed as he makes love to
you.

He’s always known your body better than you’ve known yourself, so he quickly finds that
soft spongy spot inside your cunt that makes you gasp out his name with every thrust. Your
hands squeeze around Eren’s, gripping him hard until your palms are pressed flush against
each other.

He groans out your name as his lips shift to your cheek, peppering your skin with kisses as he
rolls his hip against you. You can hear the lewd wet sounds of your pussy gripping his cock
and every thrust feel so electric — it makes you feel alive.

You think about how different things would be if you could fall in love with Eren. He’s
always been so good to you, so kind, so thoughtful. You think that maybe the two of you
could be really happy together — that you could be happy, here, with Eren.

“Eren,” you choke, rocking your hips up against him and he groans into your neck.

He lets go of one of your hands to drop down to his forearm, his body pressed so tightly
against yours that you can feel his heart pounding in his chest. You wrap your now-free hand
around his body until it’s pressed against his lower back, urging him deeper.
“Fuck,” he moans, breath hot against your ear. He squeezes your hand tighter in his as he
gasps out your name into your cheek. “Always feels so good with you.”

You squeeze your thighs against his hips tighter as he rocks into you. The head of his cock
brushes against your sweet spot with every thrust, making you arch into him and pressing
your chest against his.

You babble out his name and he groans lowly into your neck, pressing kisses behind your ear
and down your throat as he thrusts into you. Your nails dig hard into his skin as you feel the
pressure in your gut building — you’re already about to cum — you’re so close.

“Eren, please,” you choke, and he lifts his head from your neck.

He looks down at you, watching your face carefully with a tense jaw as you writhe beneath
him. “That’s it — come on, just for me — cum on my cock, baby.”

Your lip trembles as you whimper, eyes clenching shut as you twist your head to the side, but
then you feel Eren’s strong grip on your jaw as he steers your face back to face him.

“Open your eyes,” he grunts between each snap of his hips. “Look at me — I want to see you
cum.”

Your legs are shaking on either side of his hips as you blink your eyes open. They’re hazy
and unfocused as Eren bullies his cock into the tight warmth of your cunt. Hitting right there,
right there — over and over again, just like he always has.

You sob out his name when you cum, squeezing hard around his cock as your body tenses
beneath him. He groans in approval, eyes dancing across your face as he takes you in — the
drop of your jaw, the way your eyes roll back, the trembling of your body.

“Good girl,” he hums, “good fucking girl — that’s it. Just for me, baby — all for me, right?”

You nod furiously, hand gripping his so tightly you’d worry that you might break it if it
wasn’t for how loudly your blood is rushing in your ears. You feel like you’re electrified,
each snap of Eren’s hips just sending you deeper and deeper over the end until the babbling
of his name dissolves into breathless moans and gasps.

He shudders above you, slowing the pace of his hips and giving you a chance to catch your
breath. As soon as the tingling in your fingers subsides, you're gripping him even tighter —
thrusting your hips up to meet his, whimpering and whining below him.

“Eren, please — please.”

“What is it, baby?” he coos, moving his free hand to wipe the sweat off your forehead as he
looks down at you, cock twitching inside of you and shooting jolts of pleasure through your
body. “Tell me what you need — I’m yours.”

“Eren,” you gasp, and you bring your hand up to grab the back of his neck, pulling him
toward you. “Please, Eren — don’t leave me.”
He lowers his forehead against yours and you can feel each puff of hot air against your lips as
he breathes. “I can’t — I won’t, I promise.”

Eren’s hand slips out of your grasp and you blindly grab for it — needing to feel the warmth
of his palm pressed against yours — but then he wraps both arms around your waist and flips
you over. He rolls onto his back, pulling you onto his chest before pressing a palm into the
mattress and pushing himself up until he’s seated upright with you on his lap.

You grab at his shoulders, rolling your hips on his cock as he groans beneath you. He shifts
his grip from your waist to cup your ass before sitting up on his knees and lifting you up into
the air.

Your eyes sparkle with delight as you look at him and he grins devilishly, biceps hardening as
he holds the weight of your body in the air, still impaled on his cock.

“Show off,” you scoff, but your voice cracks when he snaps his hips.

He offers you a pleased hum, fingertips digging into the meat of your ass as he starts to move
you along his length in tandem with the thrusting of his hips. You moan in pleasure, locking
your legs behind his back at the same moment that you wrap his arms around his shoulders,
clinging on tightly as he fucks you in the air.

Each demanding snap of his hips knocks the breath out of your lungs. You can feel the
muscles in his arms and his back working to move you and each tight puff of breath as he
uses you like a toy.

A thin film of sweat coats his skin and you can feel beads forming along his hairline and
dripping down his throat. With your face buried in his neck, you can smell him — not just the
vanilla cologne you've grown to find comfort in, but the thick, masculine scent of sweat and
skin and it just makes you dig your nails into him deeper.

You tighten around him as you feel the familiar warmth building in your gut as Eren's cock
throbs inside of you. Even separated by the thin material, you can feel the way he aches for
you — how bad he’s wanted this — how much he’s trying to tell you each time he fills you.

“Getting me — so worked up,” he huffs, breathless against your shoulder as his hips slap
against your thighs. “Make me wanna cum so hard — fuck.”

Eren’s grip shifts as he lowers down onto his heels, seating you on his thighs as his hands dig
into your hips, grinding you in his lap and making sure your cunt moulds around every single
inch of his cock. You whimper, pulling your head out of his shoulder to look into his eyes as
you feel that thread in your gut threatening to snap.

His jaw is tight but the rest of his face is soft — loving — as he gazes up at you. Eyes hazy
but filled with so much adoration that you feel a different type of warmth in your chest. He
nods at you, speaking through gritted teeth, “Keep looking at me.”

You nod, because there’s nothing else you can do when he’s rocking you so deliciously in his
lap. Your brows scrunch, your mouth falling open in a silent scream as you squeeze around
his length.

And Eren watches. He bites his lip so hard you see the skin turning white. His cheeks flush
red and he grunts each time you pulse around his cock. His arms are shaking as he grinds you
in his lap — messy and wet from a mixture of sweat and arousal.

“Good — good,” he whispers.

He lowers you down onto your back, looming over you as he presses himself flush against
your hips. You’re still cumming — squeezing around his cock as he throbs inside of you —
but and he just keeps watching, like he’s committing the sight to memory.

Eren props himself up on the bed with one hand pressed into the mattress next to your head,
the other wrapped around your waist. Your head hangs slightly off the edge of the bed from
how he’s thrown you around, exposing your throat to him.

He leans down and peppers slow, sensual kisses to the skin on your neck. Licking and
sucking away the sweat and sending chills down your spine when he breathes cool air onto
the slick skin.

“Can’t get enough of you,” he admits, still buried inside of you. “I don’t want this to end.”

Eren hooks both arms under yours, wrapping up to grab your shoulders as he presses his
weight into your body. You cradle the back of his head with one hand while the other reaches
down to scratch at his muscled thigh.

“I want you to feel good, too,” you say, and your voice is unsteady and hoarse when you
speak.

He shudders in your arms before lifting his head from your neck. He stares at you for a
moment, eyes soft as he studies your features before he leans forward and locks his lips with
yours.

His hands dig into your shoulders as his hips shift against yours. Each rough slam! of his hips
against yours has your body rocking forward on the bed. You moan into his mouth, muffled
by his tongue down your throat as he fills you.

With his full weight against your body, you feel suffocated — like Eren is trying to pull you
into him until you’re one, and you can’t find it in you to fight it. You want that, too — you
want him.

Your breathing falls short with the pressure of his chest against yours, your head growing
hazy with each snap of his hips as his cock presses deeper and deeper inside of you. You can
feel the firm slap of his balls against you, tight against his body as his pace grows erratic.

“Fuck,” he hisses, speaking against your lips. “Gonna cum — gonna cum for you, fuck, you
feel so good.”

“I want it, I want it —” you gasp, voice strained as your hand presses against Eren’s thigh,
like you want him to stop — to slow down — but the way your legs wrap around his waist
and how your hips rock against his, your body is telling him you need more.

He gasps your name, pulling away to press his forehead into yours. “Take it, baby. It’s yours
— I’m yours — I want — I love —”

Eren’s choppy, babbled sentences dissolve into a deep groan as he pushes impossibly deeper
into you. You can feel the shake of the vibrations of his voice in his chest and each twitch and
throb of his cock as he cums. You rock your hips against him, grinding your clit into the
nestle of dark curls at the base of his cock until you feel your own orgasm, closely following
his.

Your pussy squeezes him, milking out each spurt of cum as he releases into you and your
body trembles and shakes beneath him. His eyes grow dark and unfocused as he looks down
at you before rolling back into his head and he clenches them shut through the final waves of
his orgasm.

You let your eyes fall closed to mimic his, letting yourself enjoy the wave of pleasure as you
ride your orgasm out with the warm, comforting pressure of Eren’s body on yours. Your
breath is short — strained — but you’re holding him so tightly, you don’t think he could pull
away if he wanted to.

The two of you lay there, breathing hard as your hearts beat against each other’s chests.
Without opening his eyes, Eren kisses you softly on the lips before slipping out of your grasp
and sitting up.

You blink your eyes open, watching the beads of sweat roll down his chest and the way his
hair sticks to his forward as he looks down at his cock. He pulls the condom off and ties a
small knot in the rubber before tossing it onto the floor. It lands with a soft thud! from the
weight of his cum.

You crinkle his nose at him. “Gross.”

“I’ll clean it later,” he assures you, smiling at you boyishly before reaching forward to scoop
you up into his arms.

He brings the two of you back up to the pillows of his bed until he’s flopped onto his side
with you cradled against his chest. You rest with your cheek pressed against Eren’s heart,
hand tightly intertwined with his as the two of you catch your breath. Your body is sticky and
slick with sweat — and so is Eren’s — but you don’t even care, you just want to pull him
closer.

Eren twists around, wrapping both of his arms around you and holding you close as he speaks
into your hair. “How long are we going to pretend for?”

“Until the morning,” you say and he kisses the top of his head. But the thought of this
moment ending has your heart tightening in your chest — you don't want to leave Eren. You
don't want to stop pretending. You want to stay here curled up in his arms and just forget
about all the other bullshit going on in your life.
Things with Eren have always been so easy — so effortless. Why should you try to fight it
any longer?

“Just pretend,” he says softly, almost to himself as his arms squeeze you a little tighter.

You shift your head from his chest, looking up at him to see him already looking down at you
with glossy eyes and flushed cheeks. You raise a hand up to cup his face and gently stroke his
cheek with your thumb.

He smiles down at you and presses a soft kiss to your forehead and you feel your heart
crumbling.

You squeeze him tighter, resting your chin on his shoulder as you enjoy the warmth of his
naked body pressed against yours, and behind his back, you take a moment to take in his
bedroom.

Unlike the rest of his home, this room shows off Eren’s personality. The walls are dark with
LED light strips along the ceiling, posters of his favourite musicians are stuck to the wall and
he has a desk set up, but there’s no computer.

Looking carefully, you realize it’s a builder's desk with a magnifying light attached to the
side. Glancing around, you see two floor-to-ceiling shelves cased in glass that are filled with
Gudman figurines. You can’t help but smile.

“Did you build all of those?”

Eren hums in confusion, grabbing you tighter to pull you onto his chest as he rolls onto his
back. You nod toward the shelves and he follows your gaze with a chuckle.

“Oh, yeah… those are all my lil dudes.”

Your smile grows as you watch Eren eye the shelves carefully, biting his lip to hide his own
smile.

“I buy a new one at least once a year,” he says, lifting a hand from your waist to point across
the room. “Do you see that really big one in the corner? Near the top?”

You follow his gesture and nod.

“Armin got that one for me when I got hired at Titan. Like a graduation gift, I guess.”

“That’s really nice of him,” you hum, resting your cheek back down on Eren’s chest. “How
long does it take you to build them?”

“Depends,” he sighs, hooking his arm behind his head. “That one took me a few months
because it’s so big — lots of parts. But usually, it only takes me a few hours… sometimes a
couple of days if I have to paint it, too.”

“Wow, you paint them?”

“Some of them,” he says, and with your cheek pressed against his chest you can feel the
steady beat of his heart. “Most of them are pre-painted, but also sometimes I like to zhuzh
them up a little.”

“Zhuzh?” you snort. “What does that mean?”

“You know,” he laughs, “like, to make something fancier — zhuzh it up.”

You laugh with him and he rolls the two of you back to your sides. While you’re still
giggling, he peppers your face with small kisses and you whine and squeal and feign protest
as he holds you tight.

“Let’s go take a bath,” he hums, lips pressed against your cheek. “I owe you one from that
night at the hotel.”

He pulls your legs around his waist before climbing out of bed, carrying you with him to the
bathroom. You giggle into his neck, wrapping your arms tight around his shoulders and
clinging hard, even when he tries to set you down on the counter.

“Come on,” he whines, but you can feel his smile against your face. “I gotta go get the water
running.”

With a dramatic sigh, you let go of him. Eren pulls away, cupping your face in his hands, and
he presses a soft kiss to your lips before stepping away completely.

“I’ll be two seconds,” he promises, looking at you over his shoulder as he gets down on his
knees by the tub. He turns back, stretching an arm forward to fiddle with the knobs until the
tub starts to fill with water. You watch him squirt some body wash into the stream, filling the
room with the thick scent of vanilla before he gets back up and returns to his place between
your thighs.

You smile up at him as he rubs your shoulders, his eyes scanning all across your face and
body from where he stands. “You sore?” he hums and you shake your head. “I wasn’t too
rough?”

“No, it was good,” you assure him as his hands slip down to your waist. “You always take
good care of me, Eren.”

He bites back a grin as his hands slide further down, grabbing your thighs as you squeeze
them around his hips. “I do my best,” he says, voice soft as he rubs his palms against your
skin. “I’m still new to this whole thing.”

“What thing?”

He nods toward the tub, “Aftercare? I dunno… just this whole, being with someone after I
cum, thing,” and his explanation makes you snort. “I’m serious! Usually, once the condom’s
off I peace out.”

“That’s so rude,” you tsk, brows furrowing. “I remember you did that to me when we first
hooked up… I hated it.”
“I’m sorry.”

“It made me feel really bad about myself.”

Eren swallows thickly, eyes returning to your face. He sucks his cheek into his mouth as he
looks down at you and you feel his hands grip you a little tighter. “I treated you really poorly
in the beginning… I was selfish and stupid.”

“It’s ok, I knew what I was getting into with you,” you say with a shrug.

“It’s not ok, I shouldn’t have had a reputation like that in the first place,” he frowns.

You notice that the water is getting high in the tub, so you slip off the counter and onto the
floor, your body pressed firmly against Eren’s. He eyes you carefully as you step away from
him, bending over to turn off the taps before taking a step into the water.

“Are you coming?” you ask over your shoulder, but he’s already right behind you.

Eren settles into the tub behind you and you lean your back into his chest when you sit down.
He rests his chin on your shoulder while his arms wrap around your body and it feels like the
two of you are melting into one.

“You’re probably sick and tired of all of my dramatic love declarations,” he says, kissing
your neck.

“It’s a bit much,” you tease, tilting your head to the side to give him more space to litter
kisses.

“Hmm, ok, I’ll stop,” he says, and his hands shift to your arms. He gently rubs your arms up
and down, covering you in soapy water as his mouth trails up behind your ear. “I’ll just show
you how much you mean to me, instead.”

You roll your eyes in mock annoyance, but it’s difficult to maintain the ruse when Eren’s
hands on your skin is making you feel so good. He lifts one hand up from the water to move
aside the hair on the back of your neck and presses a soft kiss into the skin there.

You moan softly as his hands roam your body, softly kneading at your breasts before sliding
down around your waist. He wraps his arms around you and tugs you even closer to his chest,
and you can feel him growing hard against your back.

Before you can say anything, you feel him whispering into your skin. “Just ignore it. I want
to help you relax.”

Eren’s hands are gentle as they caress your body — despite his lips on your neck and cock
throbbing against your back, you can tell that he’s really trying to loosen your muscles and
get you to relax.

His movements are soft as they knead at your muscles, loosening up your tight shoulders
before moving down to massage the muscles in your arms. You try to keep your breath soft,
but you can’t help from moaning every time his hands press into your skin.
“Eren, that feels good,” you sigh, feeling him twitch as his hands go down and grip your
thighs.

“I always want to make you feel good,” he says, voice thick as he speaks in your ear. “I never
want to hurt you.”

You spread your thighs open as much as you can in the confines of the tub, letting Eren’s
fingers dig into the muscles. You rest your head back against his shoulder with a throaty
groan as you feel yourself growing hot from his touch — from the way his hands trail up
your legs and how his thumbs dig into your inner thighs.

“Touch me,” you beg and he laughs a little.

“I’m not trying to turn you on,” he says, kissing just under your jaw.

“But you are.”

“Relax,” he tsks, hands sliding back up to your arms.

“You’re horny, too,” you remind him and he smiles into your shoulder.

“Because you drive me fucking crazy,” he laughs, and there’s a genuine lightness in his tone
that you haven’t heard in a long time. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Sure.”

“I get hard thinking about you.”

You snort, “I feel like that’s not a secret.”

“No, I mean,” he laughs again. “Not just when I think about having sex with you. It happens
when I think about us hanging out together — going for walks along the seawall, having food
together, driving around in my car… Anytime I think about us, I pop a fucking boner, and it’s
so embarrassing.”

You laugh with him, turning your head to press a kiss on his cheek. “That’s… weirdly cute.”

“I’m glad you think so because it makes me feel like a creep,” he says with a sigh of relief.
“You have no idea how many times I’ve jerked off looking at that picture of us together at
The Point.”

“Ew, Eren!” you gasp, giggling as he squeezes you tight around the middle. “I thought you
said you deleted all of my nudes!”

“I did!” he says quickly, burying his face in the crook of your neck. “That’s not a nude,
though — you’re fully clothed in it. It’s the only picture I kept.”

“You’re disgusting,” you tsk, but you’re smiling.

“You just look so cute in it,” he hums. “It reminds me of back when you weren’t so sad all
the time.”

You frown at his comment. “I’m not sad,” you say and he hums noncommittally. “Why do
you think I’m sad?”

“I never see you smiling anymore,” he says quietly. “I know you’re in a weird situation with
work and Jean, but… you just seem really upset all of the time.”

“I’m not sad, Eren,” you insist.

Eren is quiet for a while, chin still resting on your shoulder, before he finally asks, “He makes
you happy, right?”

You swallow thickly and turn your head to the side, looking out at the empty bathroom as you
speak. “I love him,” you say.

Honestly, you don't even know if that's true anymore. After fighting with Jean almost every
day, it's hard for you to remember what you saw in him in the first place — it's almost like a
reflex now, telling Eren that you love Jean. Maybe Sasha was right and you're just being
stubborn about your crush.

But it's hard for you to make sense of your thoughts when Eren's lips are on your neck.

“What about him do you love?”

You groan, squirming in Eren's touch but he coos into your ear.

“I know, I know,” he sighs, squeezing you a little tighter. “I shouldn’t ask but… I just need to
know why you always choose him.”

You bite your cheek, keeping your face turned away from him as you think. “It’s hard to
explain,” you say, trying to buy time. “I’ve been in love with him for so long that it just feels
natural.”

“That sounds nice,” Eren hums, but it sounds strained. “Do you remember that party… the
one where you and I met? We played cards with Connie and Sasha.”

“Fuck the Dealer?” you ask and he nods against your shoulder.

“Yeah… I really wanted to kiss you at that party.”

You laugh. “I know, it was pretty obvious.”

“But I didn’t,” he continues, “I was trying to be a good friend to Jean... but I think about that
night a lot.”

“What do you think about?”

Eren rests his cheek on your shoulder, face turned away from yours. “What if Jean and I
didn’t get in that fight?” he muses. “If Jean and I had stayed friends, I would’ve eventually
become friends with you, too… I wonder what that would’ve been like.”

“I probably wouldn’t have liked you,” you laugh. “Not the you from university.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” he counters. “I think that, even back then, you would’ve seen the
good in me.”

You shift your hand from your lap, reaching for your stomach to grab Eren’s hand and you
lace your fingers with his.

“I think I still would’ve fallen in love with you,” he says quietly, squeezing your hand in his.
“And I think it would’ve fucking killed me to see you pining after Jean while I had to sit back
and pretend like I didn’t care about you.”

“You make it sound so tragic,” you joke, but your chest feels tight.

“It’s just something I think about sometimes,” he says, brushing his lips across your shoulder.
“It’s too bad, we’ll never know.”

“But we can pretend,” you say, turning to face him.

Eren lifts his head from your shoulder to look into your eyes. He seems sad as he stares at
you, his gaze bouncing between each of your eyes like he’s searching for something.

But he says nothing, instead, he leans forward and his eyes flutter shut as he kisses you.

The two of you sit in the tub together until the water gets cold, and then Eren helps you out
and dries you off with one of his towels. You walk together back into his room, hand-in-hand,
and crawl under the blankets of his bed.

You lay on your side, facing him as he settles into bed beside you and when you meet Eren’s
gaze, you feel your heart twisting. He’s still looking at you so softly — like you aren’t just
using him to feel better about things with Jean — and it breaks your heart. You wish you
could be in love with Eren, but he's right — there's a small part of you that still hopes things
will be better with Jean.

It's not fair to use Eren like this, but you justify it by telling yourself that this will be the last
time. Eren understands the arrangement, you're just using each other, like in the beginning.

But even as you try to reassure yourself, it doesn't feel right. This whole situation makes you
feel dirty and wrong and you don't know what you're supposed to do to make things better.

You reach up, brushing away some of the wet strands of hair from Eren's brow and he smiles
at you. Your breath catches in your throat from the way he looks at you.

Eren's not perfect — he's done some bad things and probably hurt a lot of people — but you
believe that he's changing for the better. You're hit with a sudden wave of sadness when you
realize that this Eren — your Eren — is going to be someone else's Eren.
 “You’re going to make someone really happy one day,” you say, struggling to keep your
voice steady.

You watch his gaze crumble and the way he opens his mouth to speak, but he turns away
from you and brushes the tears that slip out of his eyes with the heel of his hand. “I hope so,”
he chokes.

You cup his face in your hands and guide him back toward you, leaning in close to kiss away
the tears on his cheeks as you feel cool trails forming on your own.

“I know so,” you assure him and he laughs a little, but it’s strained.

The two of you lay together, tangled in the sheets and in each other’s arms as you kiss away
your tears and you wonder if maybe you’re making a mistake.

Chapter End Notes

EDIT: Please go check out Crestfallen by shepnicolo it's an alternate ending to this
chapter!
 Endings
Chapter Notes

cw: Angst, explicit language, mention of toxic relationship dynamics.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

When you wake up in the morning, Eren is already gone.

You wake up in a panic, searching for him amongst the sheets before stumbling out of bed
with them haphazardly wrapped around your body. You charge into the main area of his
apartment, searching for him desperately until you catch sight of a small, folded note on the
kitchen counter.

Good luck.

You have a hazy memory from this morning of him kissing you on the cheek and slipping out
of your arms, but you thought that was just a dream — you hoped it was just a dream. You
wanted to talk to Eren again in the morning, but this is probably for the best.

He was right. Even after spending the night wrapped in Eren, you’ve woken up this morning
thinking about Jean. Worrying about what he will say when he finds out you slept with Eren.
If he will ever even talk to you again. What’s going through his head.

You almost hate yourself for it — how pathetically drawn you are to the man who just keeps
spitting on your love.

It doesn’t make sense. Why are you so desperate for Jean to care about you when you have
Eren right here? But just because Eren loves you, doesn’t mean that you love him, too — and
you know you don’t. When you’re with him, it doesn’t feel the same as when you’re with
Jean.

But that doesn’t mean you don’t care about him.

You carry the note with you when you return back to his room, where you pull your clothes
back on and make his bed. After smoothing out his sheets and fluffing up his pillows, you
take a closer look at the Gundam models he has on display.

You smile to yourself, walking up to the shelf to look at the small figurines. You reach out to
touch them but just delicately ghost your fingers against the glass, marvelling at the shelf
filled with Eren’s hard work and dedication. There are empty spaces on the shelves for him to
add more models and the thought of Eren filling these gaps without you makes you so
incredibly sad that you decide to leave before you can’t.
You try not to spare his apartment a second glance as you step out into the hallway, keeping
the small message he wrote (impersonal and detached, you note) as the only reminder of your
time here together.

The walk back to Reiner’s apartment is sombre. A sick combination of the events from the
past few days bouncing around in your mind and the hazy clouds and the light sprinkle of
rain pouring down on your head. You half-run back to the warmth of Reiner’s apartment, but
you still arrive drenched despite your best efforts.

Once back at Reiner’s, you change into some dry clothes before pulling the sheets off his bed
and tossing them in the wash. You prepare a pile of clothes (yours and Reiner’s from when
Jean borrowed them) to be washed after your first load, before settling back at the table and
flipping open your laptop.

Reiner sent you information about the Hizaru volunteer program that he was looking into, so
you open up the links to read more about it. Like he said over the phone, the process is
relatively simple. You just have to complete a small application form with some basic
information, your preferred location, and then a short video essay on why you should be
selected for this program — easy enough.

Reiner sent you his application and you use it as a guide to complete your own, so you fill
yours out to match his, ensuring that the two of you are sent to the same area, at least.

After filling out all of the general information on the application, you’re left with the video
essay. You take a long look at the question on the submission page, Why do we sometimes
make ourselves feel better by punishing others?

Rolling your tongue against your cheek, you hit Record and start talking.

***

You save your application without submitting it and switch over to your inbox, searching for
the email that Petra sent you the other day — your resignation letter.

When you open up the file to read over, you're surprised to see minimal words on the page.
It's mostly just your name and a brief thanks for the opportunity before detailing your
resignation and your last day. Submission of the letter would still have you working at Titan
for another two weeks, but in Petra's email, she says that they'll likely just let you leave
effective immediately, since you're already on stress leave.

You don't make any changes to the letter. You just save it to PDF and then email it to Erwin
and Petra before you have time to talk yourself out of it.

You watch the little bar in the corner of your email client as it makes its way to the opposite
end of the screen before you hear the familiar woosh! of your message being sent.

You expected to feel relief after sending off that message, but instead, you feel a little bit
uneasy. The unease spikes when your phone lights up with a text message from Petra and
with shaky hands you reach out to unlock your phone to read it.
I'm really proud of you. This was the right decision.
If you need any help or a reference for your next job, please don't be shy about reaching
out.

It takes you a few minutes to calm down after reading the messages from Petra. Your eyes are
foggy with tears and your hands are shaking, but her words make you feel better.

Thanks, Petra

Shortly after you pull yourself together, you hear a knocking at the front door. You rush to
answer it, fiddling with the lock and deadbolt before swinging it open to see a friendly,
familiar face.

“Reiner!” you grin, and he grins back.

“Hey, little buddy,” he laughs, faking a gut punch as he walks past you into his apartment,
bags in tow. “Did you have a fun week without me?”

You groan, “Don’t even get me started.”

He just laughs again in response, setting his stuff down on the floor and looking around the
apartment with his hands on his hips, whistling lowly. “Wow! You really cleaned up in here.”

“It’s the least I could do,” you say quickly, flustered when Reiner turns to smile at you.
“Also, I’m sorry, but I helped myself to some of the wine you had in your cupboard — I hope
that’s ok.”

“The weird fruit wine?” Reiner asks, rubbing the scruff on his chin, and you nod. “Ah, don’t
worry about it — that was just some junk I was gifted a while back. It’s not important.”

You breathe in a small sigh of relief before taking a moment to look at the man in front of
you. Reiner seems light and refreshed — his hallowed cheeks even look to be filled out a
little and there’s a dark red sunburn across his nose and cheeks. He looks so much more like
the Reiner you met on your first day than the man who cried in your hotel room barely a
week ago.

“Reiner, you look really happy.”

He sighs in contentment before rolling his shoulders back and standing tall. “I am. For the
first time in a while… I am.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” you smile before gesturing to the kitchen. “Do you want me to make
you a coffee or something? I want to hear all about your trip!”

He grins and nods, settling down on the dining room table and taking a look at his box of
things from the office while you head into the kitchen to work the coffee machine. “Is this all
my stuff from the office?”

“Yeah,” you say from over your shoulder. “Jean brought it by the other day. It sounds like
Titan doesn’t want you coming back.”
“Yikes,” Reiner hisses, sucking in a breath through clenched teeth. “Well… that’s ok, I didn’t
really want to go back anyway.”

You join him at the table with two coffee cups in hand and set them down in front of your and
Reiner’s seats. “Do you want cream and sugar?”

“Yes, please,” he sighs, wrapping his big hands around the mug and blowing the steam away.
“I have some of that fancy coffee creamer in the fridge if you could grab that?”

“Sure,” you say, puttering over to the fridge and looking for the cream. It’s bright blue bottle
catches your attention immediately, French Vanilla.

You bring it over to the table, handing it off to Reiner as you settle into your seat across from
him. “So? Tell me all about your vacation!”

He chuckles, pouring some of the creamer into his drink before setting it down on the table
between the two of you. As he’s stirring his mug with a spoon, you see him pursing his lips in
thought. “Well, after I left here with Bertolt, we convoyed with Pieck and Porco back to
Marley so we could meet up with our other friend, Annie.”

Reiner lifts the mug to his lips, blowing steam away again before taking a small sip. “She
was that blonde girl from the call.”

“Yeah, I figured,” you say, offering him a tight-lipped smile as you cup your hands around
your own mug.

“Pieck and Porco got into quite the fight over everything that happened at dinner,” Reiner
explains, pressing his lips together and looking over at you with wide eyes. “They have a
complicated history together and Porco didn’t like knowing that Pieck was still hitting on
Jean.”

“Understandable,” you say with a shrug. “She shouldn’t have been flirting with him if she
had a boyfriend this whole time.”

“No, she shouldn’t have,” Reiner agrees, nodding softly. “And Pieck is smart, she knows that,
but I think she likes the attention.”

You hum, resisting the urge to roll your eyes — she’s still Reiner’s friend, after all. Even
though he’s openly gossiping about her and her relationship issues. You wonder if Reiner’s
ever gossiped about the things you’ve told him.

“Did she work things out with Porco?” you ask, trying to keep your tone soft and inquisitive
to hide the malicious edge to your question.

“They figured out a compromise,” Reiner explains. “She submitted a transfer to the Titan
office in Marley so they don’t have to be long-distance anymore.”

You raise your brows in surprise. “Oh, wow! So, she’s leaving?”

“Just our office,” Reiner says.

“Why didn’t she work there from the start?” you ask, tilting your head in confusion. “Isn’t
she from Marley?”

“Escaping an ex-boyfriend,” Reiner explains with a wave of his hand. You take that as his
signal to drop the subject.

“And what about you?” you ask, blowing off some steam from your cup. It’s still hot to the
touch, so you’re not sure if you want to start drinking yet. “How are you feeling?”

Reiner grins. “I feel great. We stayed at an Airbnb a few hours away from the city and just
hung out for a few days.”

“That sounds fun,” you hum, smiling.

“Yeah. And then I spent a day with my family back at the farm and got to see my little
cousin.” At this, he sits up a little in his chair and digs through the items in his box from the
office. He pulls out a photo that you recognize from his cubicle: it’s of Reiner and four kids.

He points a fat finger at one of the girls as he shows you. “This is my cousin — this is Gabi.”
He quickly flips the photo over to look at it himself and smiles wistfully. “This is an old
photo from when she was still a kid. She’s actually graduating from high school soon!”

“Oh, wow!” you say, smiling. “That’s huge!”

“Yeah, so she’s been busy with prom and applying for college and stuff,” he explains, still
looking down at the photo. You watch him thumb it carefully and you can practically feel the
love radiating off of his body. “She’s a little firecracker. Wants to go to Marley U and join
one of their varsity teams.”

“Good for her,” you say, grinning when Reiner’s eyes finally flick up to meet yours. “Is she
going to be an accountant like her older cousin, too?”

“God, I hope not,” he sighs and the two of you break out into laughter. “She’s smarter than
me, so hopefully she ends up doing something better with her life.”

Reiner takes another long sip from his mug, tossing the photo back into the box. “I’m looking
forward to hearing back from the Hizaru volunteer program. Did you end up applying?”

“Not yet… I filled out my application and everything but I haven’t submitted it yet.”

“What’s holding you back?”

You shrug.

“Better figure out fast,” Reiner says. “The application deadline closes soon and the
turnaround is pretty quick, so once we find out we’re accepted we basically have to start
packing our bags.”

You nod in response. You honestly just want to forget about it entirely — you’re not sure
you’ll even have the courage to submit your application.
“So,” he drawls, “how have things been here? Did you work things out with… the boys?”

You feel a sudden stutter in your chest and a chill washes over your body. “Um, not exactly.”

He quirks up a brow, regarding you carefully. “Oh?”

You sigh heavily, slouching in your seat and curling yourself over your still-steaming mug of
coffee. “I don’t understand my own feelings,” you start, speaking quietly like you don’t want
Reiner to hear your admission. “I know I love Jean — I think — but then I also have these
feelings for Eren that I don’t know what to do about.”

Reiner stays quiet and when you flick your eyes up to meet his, you see his face is soft with
empathy. “Last I heard, you and Jean had gotten in a fight. Are you two still fighting?”

You almost snort at his question — when are the two of you not fighting?

“Yeah, we’re still fighting,” you admit sheepishly. “I want us to get back together, but we
can’t seem to work out all of our issues.”

“What are your issues?”

“I don’t even know, to tell you the truth,” you say with a sigh. “We had a really good
conversation where we worked things out, but then the next time I saw him, he was acting
weird and now we’re back to where we started.”

You let out a nervous breath, trying to mask it as you blowing the steam away from your
mug. “He got really angry the other day when he found out that I was still talking to Eren.”

“You’re still talking to Eren?”

You pause awkwardly. “Not… then.”

Reiner looks at you with a raised brow and you duck your head in embarrassment. “I was
trying to end things with Eren, but he was ignoring me, and Jean misunderstood what was
going on and got upset.”

“So, now you’re talking to Eren?”

“No,” you say, dragging out the word as you scrunch up your face. God, this is awkward. “I
went to go see him yesterday — last night — uh… but that was the last time.”

You can feel your cheeks burning as you speak. Saying it out loud sounds terrible. The boy
you’re trying to date got mad at you for talking to another guy, so you went and spent the
night with the guy he was worried about? Yikes.

“That sounds really bad,” you say quickly before Reiner can comment. “Um… I don’t really
have an explanation for why I did that. I guess, I just needed someone to comfort me after I
fought with Jean, and Eren’s always been really good about taking care of me.”
Even without looking up, you can feel Reiner’s gaze on you. “Yeah, he cares about you a
lot.”

“Yeah,” you whisper, sinking your shoulders. “I take advantage of how much he cares about
me someti— all the time.”

Reiner hums in response and you feel your heart sinking with guilt.

“I haven’t really been a good person,” you admit.

“And how does that make you feel?”

“Really bad,” you say, so quietly you’re not sure if Reiner can hear you. “I feel so guilty
about the way I treated both of them. I kept using Eren to make myself feel better and just
expected Jean to be ok with it.”

“Sounds kind of familiar,” Reiner hums, and you frown.

“I’m not like Pieck,” you say defensively, but then you sigh. “I’m worse.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Reiner says, and when you look up at him, his face is soft. “What
about work? How’s your stress leave?”

“I decided to quit,” you say.

Reiner’s eyebrows raise in surprise. “No shit, eh?” he says and when you nod in confirmation
he lets out a low whistle. “Good for you, buddy. That place didn’t treat you well.”

“It wasn’t Titan’s fault that I’m bad at my job,” you dismiss, but Reiner leans forward in his
seat to insist.

“Nah, fuck that place. No job should be making you cry as much as they did.”

“Well, I didn’t think it was going to be that bad!” you say with a laugh. “I knew it would be
hard working at Titan, but I thought it would be manageable. Instead, it was a nightmare.”

Reiner nods, leaning back in his seat with his arms crossed over at his chest. “Yeah, and even
though you tried to force it, it just got worse and worse until it broke you down.”

“Yeah, I think I was just being stubborn,” you shrug. “I wanted so badly to succeed, even
though it wasn’t a good fit from the beginning.”

Reiner smiles but says nothing, so you continue.

“Maybe I’ll have to go back to school and get another degree, or maybe I can find a small
firm like Bertolt and be happy there — but I’m not happy at Titan, so I can’t be there
anymore,” you say definitively. “With my next job, I want to make sure it’s something I
actually want, and not just something I’ve built up in my head.”
“Are we still talking about Titan?” Reiner asks, but when you send him a questioning look he
waves his hand in dismissal.

“Did you end up reconnecting with your counsellor while you were in Marley?” you ask,
hoping to shift the topic.

“Ah, yes!” he says, leaning forward onto his elbows on the table. “I told her about Hizaru and
she said she can still arrange time to meet with me over video call once I get settled in if I get
accepted.”

“That’s great,” you grin. “It sounds like everything is working out for you, now.”

“Yeah,” he says, releasing a heavy sigh of relief. “And then, I think when I get back from
Hizaru, I’m going to move back to Marley.”

“Oh?”

“It was really nice seeing Gabi and my mom and all my friends again. I really need that in my
life… so I’m going to go back home.”

“Oh, that’s so great, Reiner! I’m really happy for you!” you say with a big grin.

The two of you chat and catch up for a few more minutes before you’re interrupted by the
sound of the dryer finishing its cycle. Reiner glances over at you with surprise. “Wow, you
even did laundry?”

“Just the sheets and some of your clothes,” you say, and you flush immediately when you see
Reiner’s eyes narrow.

“Oh?”

You swallow loudly and open your mouth to explain, but he holds up a hand to stop you.

“You know what, it doesn’t matter as long as they’re clean, right?”

“Yeah,” you agree with a sigh.

Reiner gets up to deal with the laundry while you relax back in your chair. You cup your mug
in your hands and realize that it’s finally cool to the touch, so it’s probably a good
temperature to drink, now.

“Do you want me to drive you back home?” Reiner offers from somewhere behind you,
pulling things out of the dryer and back into his laundry basket.

“Yeah, sure,” you agree, taking a small sip of your coffee and sucking your teeth at the bitter
taste. “Just let me finish my coffee first.”

You reach forward to grab the creamer.

***
Jean knows it’s you who walks into the house without even turning his head. He’s sitting in
the living room, eyes fixed on the TV in hopes of ignoring your presence as you shut the door
behind you, just lingering on the edge of his vision.

He’s embarrassed — he’s not ready to talk to you after what happened the other day. He’s
been ignoring all the messages you’ve sent him. All of the I’m sorry’s and the Please talk to
me’s and the I didn’t mean to upset you’s because reading those messages and seeing you be
so apologetic for something that he did wrong makes him feel sick.

You were right. The two of you have just been fighting or fucking ever since he confessed his
feelings to you back in Trost. He misses his friendship with you but he doesn’t know what to
do to get back to that and he’s scared of what might happen between the two of you if you
start dating.

He yelled at you. You flinched — you thought he was going to hurt you.

He can never forgive himself for making you think that. Despite what you had said about
forgiving him and understanding that his fight with Eren was just a one-off thing — you still
flinched. How can he ever touch you again if you’re afraid that he might hurt you?

Jean sees you walk down the hall to your room out of the corner of his eye. He catches the
bouquet of flowers in your arms as you turn down the hall and it brings forth a wave of
nausea. His hands ball into tight fists against his thighs as he remembers that those are from
Eren fucking Jaeger. He can't believe you brought them home with you.

Despite his anger and his embarrassment and his disgust with himself — he still wants you to
want him.

He wants you to sit next to him on the couch and tell him how badly you want to be with
him. He wants to hear you say that you don’t care about anything that’s happened in the past
because he’s worth it and that you need him.

He’s always been there for you, hasn’t he? The two of you have been best friends for years
and he’s been in love with you for almost as long. He can’t lose you — not now — not after
how hard he’s tried to be with you.

But against all of the advice that he’s gotten from Connie and Sasha and even Eren fucking
Jaeger, he can’t find it in himself to apologize to you. Apologizing would mean admitting
that he was in the wrong — that all the things that he did to protect you were actually hurting
you.

As if all the tears you shed in front of him aren’t proof enough.

To his surprise, you come out of your room and sit on the couch next to him. You sit with
your back against the couch, staring forward at the TV with Jean in silence, but he can see the
way you fiddle with your hands in your lap nervously.

He doesn’t want to be the one to break the silence, but his heart is pounding so loudly in his
ears that he can’t think of anything else. He runs a hand through his hair, clearing his throat
as he speaks. “Did Reiner drop you off?”

You jump as if startled and it makes his heart sink into his stomach. “Um, yeah… yeah, he
dropped me off.”

Why does it sound like you’re lying? Jean tries not to overthink it.

“I slept with Eren last night,” you confess suddenly and Jean’s whole body goes rigid.

“Oh.”

“But it was the last time. We aren’t going to see each other anymore.”

“Ok,” he says, strained.

He tries not to let it bother him, he really does — but as the two of you sit together in silence,
all he can picture in his head is Eren on top of you, underneath you, inside of you. Jean’s jaw
tightens and his hands ball into fists against his thighs.

“Why did you sleep with Eren?” he asks through clenched teeth, his fury evident through his
tone. “I thought you wanted to be with me.”

“I do,” you insist, but the conviction in your voice from the other night isn’t there. “But you
wouldn’t answer me — Jean, you left when I was trying to fight for you.”

“You always have an excuse, ” he grunts, taking slow, deep breaths through his nose to try to
calm down. “How are we supposed to be together if you’re always sleeping with somebody
else?”

“We’re not together,” you say, and your words feel like a slap in the face. “You made that
clear, Jean. You keep pushing me away and telling me that we shouldn’t be together, and you
get mad when I act single but then refuse to commit to a relationship.”

“That’s not what’s —” he cuts himself off by biting his tongue. He can feel the burn of
jealousy and anger in his gut and he knows that if he lets himself get out of control, this’ll
just be a repeat of the last argument. “Forget it,” he says dismissively.

“I filled out my application for Hizaru,” you say, and Jean swallows thickly but says nothing.
“I haven’t submitted it yet, but if I get accepted, I have to leave right away.”

“So, you’re going to do it? You’re going to leave?” Jean says and it comes out so harsh that
even he flinches.

You’re quiet for a long time and the silence is making Jean sweat. He can feel beads rolling
down his spine and dotting along his hairline, but he pretends like he’s unphased — eyes
fixed on the TV.

“I’ve fucked everything up,” you say quietly. “I don’t have a reason to be here anymore.”
You lower your gaze to your lap and only then does Jean turn to look at you. His face softens
as he sees the way you crumble into yourself.

“What do you mean?” he asks.

“I quit my job at Titan,” you start, and Jean’s brows shoot up. “Eren hates me. You hate me.
I’m not welcome here anymore… I just don’t know what else I’m supposed to do.”

“I don’t hate you.”

You look up at him with watery eyes and Jean immediately looks away — he can’t look at
you when you’re like this.

“Then why do you treat me like you do?” You sigh in exasperation, throwing your hands up
in defeat. “I feel pathetic, Jean! I’m throwing myself at you and begging you to reciprocate
something and I feel like you don’t even care about me.”

“That isn’t —”

“I know I’m partially to blame,” you say, cutting him off. “I know I haven’t been honest with
you and that I should’ve cut things off with Eren a long time ago, but just… I have no idea
what you think about me and the uncertainty scares me.”

Jean says nothing. He sucks his cheek into his mouth as he stares blankly at the television
screen in front of him.

“The only time you ever even looked at me was when I was with Eren, so I was scared that if
I ended things with him, you’d just… stop.” Your voice cracks when you speak and even
without looking at you, Jean knows that you’re fighting back tears. “I know that apologizing
and begging for forgiveness doesn’t make anything that I did right, but I just want you to
know that I realize now how shitty I’ve been and…”

You lift your hand to your face to brush away tears as you choke on your words. Jean clasps
his hands tightly in his lap to hide the way he’s shaking.

“I want to be better and make things right,” you say weakly. “I’m sorry, Jean — I don’t want
us to hate each other and I want…”

Jean hates that you’re apologizing to him right now. He should be apologizing to you but
every time he tries to speak, he just feels his jaw getting tighter and tighter instead.

Why bother apologizing when you’re sitting here accepting all of the blame? Why should
Jean face his own villany when you’re happy to take the full weight onto your shoulders?

“I need you to tell me how you feel about me,” you whisper. You’re just a quiet, trembly shell
of the person you used to be and — fuck — Jean hates that this is who you’ve become around
him.

“I need you to tell me that all of this effort I’m putting into us isn’t going to waste,” you
continue, obviously struggling to keep your voice steady. “I need you to tell me that you’re
willing to work on us, too — that we can do this together.”

He can see you in the reflection of the television in front of him, looking up at him with wide,
anxious eyes — but he can’t bring himself to face you.

“I need to know that we can change together,” you say, gulping loudly. “Please, Jean — say
something.”

I need you. I want to try. I think we could be happy. I love you. I love you .

Jean bites his tongue. You want the same reassurance that he wants from you — you want to
feel chosen.

And so he thinks about the job opportunity in Liberio.

He imagines you and him packing up your things here and moving away together. Away from
the comfort of the Core Four and Jean’s father’s looming influence and everything else that’s
making things hard. You could find a nice teashop to work at there, or maybe another firm,
while Jean works at the forestry company. The two of you could start a life together away
from everything that’s been keeping you apart — you could be happy.

He can already see it so clearly in his head. The two of you packing up your things into boxes
and waving goodbye to your friends from the front seat of the rental van. He can picture you
sitting beside him, a big grin on your face as you lace your hand with his — so excited to
start over — so excited to be with him.

The two of you could find a nice apartment in the city somewhere, some place that the two of
you could call Home. You’d decorate it with all of your little trinkets and things and he’d
pretend like he was annoyed when you told him to re-arrange the living room again, but he’d
be smiling, too.

You’d fall asleep together in a new bed, a new town, a new life — the two of you could start
over and things would be better. Everything would be better.

After the meeting with Erwin and his father, all Jean could think about was how easy it is to
live life in his father’s shadow. He's bad at his job — terrible, even. He misses deadlines, he
doesn’t understand working papers, and he should’ve been on the PIP with you and Reiner.

But instead, he got a promotion. He got praise from the client, from Erwin, from his dad.

So when you sat on Reiner’s couch, begging him to go to Hizaru with you — looking for an
escape from Titan and everything that’s holding you down — Jean snapped.

He already said no! You can’t just come to him now and tell him that you’d go anywhere
with him — that’s not fair. Jean’s already given up on himself, you can’t do this to him.

Jean isn’t the man you think he is — fuck, he’s not even the man he thinks he is. He’s
revealing himself to be a toxic, manipulative asshole that can’t even say I’m sorry after
making you cry.
You want to change. You want to be better. And you want Jean to be there with you on this
journey of self-improvement.

His hand twitches in his lap and before he can control himself, he reaches across to rest it on
your hands. Your body stiffens next to him at first contact, but then relaxes as you allow him
to lace his fingers with yours.

With his other hand, he reaches up to cup your face, and you melt into the palm of his hand.
Your gaze softens when you look up at him and even with the glassiness of your eyes from
the tears, he can still see hope.

Rather than say anything, he leans forward. First, just brushing his lips against yours while
his eyes flutter shut, but then he pushes forward until your lips are pressed firmly against his.

You reach forward with your free hand to grab at his shirt, fisting the material as you pull him
closer. Unlike any of your other kisses from this past, this one is slow and careful.

His hand slips from your cheek to cradle the back of your head while his other hand squeezes
yours tightly.

Jean doesn’t want to talk — every time he talks he fucks something up. He just wants to kiss
you and fuck you and love you until you feel everything he’s trying to tell you without ever
saying a word.

He needs you to know that he wants to be better but he’s so fucking afraid that he can’t. He’s
scared of failing and not having a safety net to fall back on. He wishes he wasn’t such a
coward and he doesn’t know how to change.

So, he deepens the kiss and feels you falling into his chest, but no matter how passionately he
kisses you and how much you grip him he still feels… hollow.

Jean pulls away from the kiss and looks down at you, seeing a translucent string of spit
joining your mouths. His hand shifts back to your jaw and he brushes his thumb across your
lips to break the contact as you blink up at him.

Jean’s hesitance with you has always been because he sees so much of his father in himself.
The idea of ever treating you the way that he sees his father treat his mom makes him sick.

Ever since he was a teenager, Jean has been vocal about not wanting to be stuck in his
father’s shadow. He doesn’t want special treatment just because of what his last name is, but
at the same time… he takes every advantage when it’s presented to him.

When he was young, he rationalized it as a form of rebellion. He was seeing how far he could
go before his father’s “generosity” ended. Was it after getting in a fight? Suspension?
Expulsion? Where was the line where Jean’s behaviour became unforgivable?

Where is that line for you?

Jean wants to believe that he’s capable of being better, but it’s so hard to imagine that when
it’s easier to just… coast.
Why would he move away and work when he can just stay here in Paradis and let Erwin
promote him to management? Why would he try to be better when you’ll forgive him for
every mistake he makes? When you keep coming back every time he throws you away?

“I need you to say something, Jean,” you say, and Jean bites his cheek. “You can’t just kiss
me, I need…”

“Assurance,” Jean finishes. “I know.”

You swallow thickly and nod, your face still so close to Jean’s that it feels like you’re sharing
air.

He brushes your cheek with his thumb as his eyes scan your face. His heart thunders in his
chest as words bubble up in his throat — he doesn’t know what to say to you.

“Do you want me?” he asks softly.

You give his hand a comforting squeeze but your eyes dart away when you respond, “There’s
no one else, Jean. Just you, always you.”

And he wants to believe you — he wants to forgive you.

Just like every time you’ve forgiven him for treating you like an afterthought. For every time
you’ve made excuses for his behaviour. But he can feel that the fire you once had for him in
your heart is sputtering out.

But you’re begging him to give you something, even when he can see your feelings are
fading. This feels like his last chance to be the man you want him to be, and he’s not sure if
he’s capable of measuring up.

Jean feels like he’s standing at a crossroads.

On one side, there’s you and the happy life he knows the two of you could have together. It’s
not an easy path and Jean will have to put in a lot of work to be better — but so will you and
you’ll be working on yourselves together, so it can’t be that bad, can it?

Maybe there’s still time to message Miche about the job in Liberio. Jean knows that staying
here and working at Titan will only cause more problems, so the two of you will have to
leave. Or maybe he could apply for Hizaru too, and the two of you could go together.

He would have to put effort into being a better person and not let his jealousy and insecurities
get the best of him. He would have to trust you — really trust you — for the first time. He
would have to believe you when you tell him that you love him and that there’s nothing going
on with anyone else.

He would have to let himself admit to you the depth of his feelings. How loving you made
him feel like he needed to keep you safe. Like he had to decide who you could and couldn’t
talk to. Like he had to go through your phone and throw out gifts from other people.
 He would have to admit to you that his love meant controlling you — but that it doesn’t have
to be like that anymore.

On the other side, there’s his father. That path is easy — short, too. Jean doesn’t even have to
do anything to go down this path because he’s already halfway there.

He just has to keep doing what he’s doing: accepting promotions from Erwin for just sitting
at meetings, coasting through life with the dividend payouts from his trust that are more than
enough to live comfortably, and treating you like shit.

You wouldn’t have to work so you could just stay home or take a part-time hobby job. The
two of you could live out your fantasy of being a stay-at-home wife with dinner on the table
every night when he gets home.

Eventually, his father will pass away and Jean will inherit the family wealth. You and Jean
would move into his family home and Jean would start working for the Reiss group and take
over his father’s role. He would be gone for weeks at a time for business trips, only returning
so he can criticize you for staying home all day and then fucking you until you give him an
heir.

You would lose all your friends being trapped in that home. The only people in your life
would be the people who work on the property and Jean. You would be lonely — so
desperately lonely — that you would crave any sort of interaction with Jean, even if he was
taking out his anger from work on you.

Is that what your relationship will become if Jean can’t change?

“Jean,” you urge, snapping him out of his thoughts. “I need you to answer me.”

As he looks down at your wide, watery eyes, Jean wonders if you will forgive him one last
time.

Chapter End Notes

Omg, the penultimate chapter! Can you believe it?

As you know, next week is the final chapter of The Boys at Work!! Since it’s the finale,
after posting I’m going to be taking a bit of a social media break until Saturday,
November 4! This will hopefully give everyone a chance to read the chapter before I
start posting about it on Tumblr -- I don’t want to accidentally spoil anyone. (And I’ll

💀
post this same announcement on Tumblr next Tuesday before I drop the chapter so
nobody thinks I’ve disappeared )

through to the end instead of just scrolling to the bottom and spoiling yourself
of course, you guys do whatever you wanna do to make the story fun!
👀
Heads up, the finale is an extra-long chapter! And I strongly encourage you guys to read
But,
And I have for you, the final TBAW poll!! Who do you think Reader is going to end up
with? Not who you want her to be with, but who you think she’ll end up with. And
we’ll find out next week how many of you are right 😊 I hope I’ve done a good job of
crafting the story in a way where nobody will be surprised by the ending. You may not
like it, but I hope it makes sense based on everything that’s happened leading up to this
moment.

(And please, I encourage you all to share your theories on what's going to happen in the
final chapter because I loooooove reading them!!)
 New Journey
Chapter Notes

cw: Alcohol, explicit language, angst.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

One Year Later

“Ladies and gentlemen, Eldian Air would like to welcome you to Paradis. The local time is
seven forty-three in the morning. For your safety and the safety of those around you, please
remain seated with your seatbelt fastened and keep the aisles clear until we are parked at the
gate.”

You yawn and stretch your arms up in the air as much as you can in the tight confines of your
seat, twisting your waist one way, and then the other, in an effort to loosen your cramped
muscles.

“Did you get any sleep on the flight?” comes the low, gravelly voice beside you.

You shake your head, resting your arms back in your lap before turning to look over at your
seatmate. “Only a little bit.”

“Too excited?” he grins.

“Something like that,” you say, returning his quip with a smile. “Can you believe we’re back
already, Reiner?”

He laughs, scratching at his beard with thick, blunt nails. “Feels weird, that’s for sure.” He
shrugs, stretching his arms forward and shifting in his seat. “I’ve got a lot of packing to do
when we get back.”

“You’re going to move right away?”

“Yeah, I told my aunt I’d help with some stuff around the farm before the season changes, so
I don’t have much time to hang around.”

You nod in understanding, shifting your gaze to the window as you watch the airplane take a
large sweep across the sky, steering towards the long landing strip at the airport. “Are you
nervous?”

“It’s always a little scary to do new things,” he admits. “But I think this will make me happy
— it’ll be tough, but it’s honest work.”
“God, you sound so lame,” you groan, rolling your eyes as you shift your gaze back to
Reiner’s face. “You’re just going to work at your family’s farm,” you say, giving him a
pointed look.

“Let me romanticize it a little,” he chuckles, shrugging. “Makes going back home feel like a
new adventure.”

“Sure,” you concede, gripping the armrests loosely as the wheels of the plane touch down on
the tarmac.

The plane jolts a little from the impact, bouncing slightly on the pavement until it evens out
and you feel the familiar rush of the brakes slowing the aircraft down to a slow crawl.

“Do you need Bertl to give you a ride home?” Reiner offers. “He’s in town to help me pack
my shit for the big move.”

“No, that’s ok,” you hum, feeling your heart rate quicken in your chest. “I have a ride.”

***

You and Reiner grab your bags from the plane and walk through the giant maze of the airport
to the baggage claim. You’re certain that Reiner can tell you’re nervous from the way he
keeps trying to talk to you — just mindless small talk and observations as you follow the
other passengers out of security while you clutch your bag so tightly you can feel your palms
sweating.

The rush of cool air hits you as the two of you approach the baggage claim and your eyes
instantly scan the area for familiar faces. It doesn’t take long to see two wildly grinning
people holding up a bright neon sign that says Welcome Home! with a cut-out photo of your
and Reiner’s faces.

“There’s your friends,” Reiner says, leaning down and pointing over at the group — who still
haven’t quite noticed you yet.

“Yeah,” you say, and your voice starts trembling immediately.

“Go say hi, I’ll grab your stuff.”

The words have barely left Reiner’s mouth before you start running — you weave through
the crowd, your bag haphazardly trailing behind you, until one set of eyes finally connect
with yours and you hear an almost deafening screech.

The two of you charge into each other's arms, nearly knocking yourselves onto the floor from
the force and you feel warm arms wrapping around your body as Sasha screams and screams.

“You’re back! Oh my God, you’re back — you’re back!” she yells, squeezing you so tightly
you’re certain you’re going to pop — but you’re doing the same to her.

Grinning so wildly you can’t even open your eyes, the two of you stand there, violently
clutching each other as if it’s been decades since you’ve last seen one another.
“Sasha, I missed you so much,” you say around a choked sob and you can feel her tears
coating the shoulder of your shirt.

“My baby — you look so happy,” she says, voice quiet as she presses a sturdy kiss to your
cheek.

“Hey, what about me?”

You laugh, pulling away from Sasha to wipe the tears from your face as you look over at
Connie, grinning and looking at you with open arms.

“Come on, get in here!” he says and you give him an equally crushing hug, arms wrapped
around his neck as Connie’s arms circle your waist and he lifts you up off the ground. “The
missing member of the Core Four finally returns!” he says into your neck as you squeeze
him.

When Connie lowers you back down onto the ground, you take a step back so you can
breathe. Tears keep falling from your eyes, blurring your vision as you try to wipe them
away. You take note of the now-discarded sign that the two made for you on the ground and
gesture at it vaguely.

“What the hell is this?” you ask, looking between Connie and Sasha.

“It was my idea.”

The low voice from nearby has your head snapping to attention. Even through your blurry
vision, you recognize that stupid fucking mullet and you feel your heart twisting in your
chest.

“I would have never guessed,” you say, voice tight.

“Thought you guys might like it,” Jean shrugs in dismissal, his hands stuffed in his pockets.
“It’s good to see you again.”

“Yeah, you too,” you say, swallowing thickly.

“Oh my God, you guys are so awkward,” Connie groans and you feel his hands pushing at
your back. “Just go hug or something — jeez!”

You stumble toward Jean and he pulls his hands from his pockets to catch you. He holds you
there for a second before wrapping his arms around your shoulders and pulling you tight
against his chest.

Your breath catches in your throat as you wrap your arms around his back, clutching at his
shirt as you feel Jean pressing his face into the crook of your neck.

“I really missed you,” he says quietly, so only you can hear.

“I missed you, too.”

You can feel his lips curling up into a smile against your neck but before you can say more,
you hear Reiner’s booming voice behind you.

Pulling away from the hug, you turn around to see Connie and Sasha literally hanging off of
Reiner’s biceps as he laughs and grins.

“You guys are too funny,” he says around his laughter, bouncing his arms in an effort to
shake the two goofballs off.

“I heard you’re going back to Marley to be a cattle farmer!” Sasha says.

“We just want to make sure you’re strong enough to wrangle ‘em hogs,” Connie says, legs
dangling in the air as he clutches around Reiner’s bicep for dear life.

“Hogs are pigs, Con,” Sasha tsks, lifting herself up on Reiner’s arm until her chin is resting
on the curve of his muscle.

“Tomato tomato,” he scoffs and the two drop down to the ground together.

Reiner laughs and shakes his head before grabbing the handle of your checked luggage that
he retrieved for you. “You guys are ridiculous,” Reiner says again, eyes crinkling in
amusement as he rolls your luggage toward you. “Did you see Bertolt anywhere?”

“Yeah, Colossal is over there,” Connie says, speaking out of the corner of his mouth as he
points to one of the nearby benches. Bertolt is sitting there, phone pressed up against his ear
with a frown on his face, chatting away to someone on the other end.

“We offered him to come and join the welcome party but he said he had to take a call for
work,” Sasha says with a shrug, wiggling the poster board until it makes a loud wobbling
sound.

This attracts Bertolt’s attention and you watch as his gaze shifts over to the group, eyebrows
jerking up in recognition as his eyes land on Reiner. He sits up from his seat, saying
something sharply into the phone before hanging up and walking over to join you and the
others with a smile.

“Bertl!” Reiner cheers, pulling Bertolt into a big bear hug as soon as he gets close.

“Hey, Reiner,” Bertolt chuckles, rolling his eyes over Reiner’s shoulder to your amusement.

The six of you chat for a few more minutes together before Bertolt’s phone rings again and
he explains that they need to get going. You say goodbye to Reiner and Bertolt at the parking
lot and follow your friends, bags in tow, to Connie’s SUV in the parkade.

“Man, I’m so happy you’re back,” Connie says for probably the hundredth time. “It’s been so
weird without you.”

“I didn’t even think you guys would notice my absence,” you admit, cheeks burning in
embarrassment as Jean helps you load your bags into Connie’s trunk. “I thought you guys
would just go back to being the Golden Trio and forget all about me.”
Sasha clicks her tongue at you, brows furrowing as she settles in with Connie in the front seat
of the car while you and Jean pile into the back. “Don’t be stupid — we’re The Core Four.
Missing you was like losing a limb.”

“Dramatic,” Connie scoffs, rolling his eyes as he steers out of the parkade. “But honestly…
accurate.”

You laugh and try not to cry again from the feeling of warmth in your chest from being
surrounded by your three friends again. “I missed you guys, too — so much.”

“Don’t forget, it’s Saturday,” Sasha says, twisting in her seat to face you with an impish grin.
“And I think it’s your turn to pick a movie.”

“Hey, well give me a chance to catch up with you guys, first,” you counter, pursing your lips
at Sasha. “What’s happened since I’ve been gone?”

“You’d know if you didn’t delete all your social media,” Connie quips, looking at you
through the rearview mirror.

“I needed to break free from everyone back home,” you explain, only sparing him a glance
before focusing back on Sasha. “How’s work?”

“Same as usual,” she says with a shrug, twisting around to sit properly in her seat. “Still at
the same place — still working with the same annoying people — still dealing with shit.”

Connie’s hand lifts from the wheel to slap Sasha across the arm and she recoils against the
door with a whine. “Ouch! What was that for?”

“Tell her about Nic!”

“Who’s Nic?” you ask, eyes lighting up immediately when you see the back of Sasha’s neck
turn red.

“Just this guy I met at work,” Sasha explains with a nonchalant wave of her arm. “He came in
a month or so ago with his cat —”

“And left with Sasha’s number,” Connie cackles, flipping his hand against the centre console
for you to low-five him.

“Oh my God, Sasha, a boy?” you say, eyebrows raising in amusement. “Why didn’t you tell
me!”

“We’re just talking,” she says quickly, twisting around to face you. “It’s nothing serious, yet
— I promise, I would’ve told you — but…” she shrugs sheepishly before turning back in her
seat, and she doesn’t need to say anything else for you to understand.

“What about you, Connie?” you say, sitting forward and twisting in your chair to get closer to
the front seat, ignoring the heat on your skin when your knee brushes against Jean’s. “What’s
new for you?”
“Nothing big,” Connie says with a shrug, rubbing his palm back and forth across the stubble
on his head. “No girls, no promotions, no exciting news… just the same old cool Mr.
Springer teaching kids about the importance of History, baby,” Connie says, snapping his
fingers as his excitement ramps up.

“Great,” you say, laughing. You cast a cursory glance over at Jean, who’s turned away from
you and facing the window, but his knee is still pressed flush against yours. “What about you,
Jean?”

Connie and Sasha fall oddly quiet as you wait with bated breath for Jean’s response — is he
dating someone? Did he move on?

“Nothing really,” he hums, tapping his fingers against his thigh as he keeps his gaze fixed out
the window. “I got a promotion at work.”

“Oh?” you say, tilting your head in confusion.

“Yeah, I’m a Manager now at Titan.”

“Wow!”

“Yeah,” Jean says, and even when he’s turned away you can see the way his jaw clenches.

“That’s great, Jean, congratulations,” you say, smiling and trying to pitch your tone in a way
that sounds cheerful, even with him turned away from you. He grunts in response but doesn’t
say anything, letting an awkward silence linger in the car.

“Sooo… tell us about Hizaru!” Sasha says, filling the silence once it becomes unbearable.

You turn back to the front and grin. “Ok, sure!” and you launch into a story about the past
year.

***

You wrap up your story by the time the four of you arrive back at the house and you get
Connie and Jean to help you bring your stuff into your room. It feels weird to be back, but
everything is just where you left it, and you’re excited to start a new chapter in your life after
your exciting adventure overseas. Jean sets your bag down by your bed while Connie leaves
the one he was carrying over by your bedroom door.

“Let me know if you need help unpacking or whatever,” Connie says with a shrug and you
see him make eye contact with Sasha as she walks down the hall to her room. “Sasha and I
are just gonna… hang out.”

You frown, opening your mouth to speak but Connie quickly darts out, following Sasha into
her room and then slamming the door behind him. If Sasha hadn’t told you that she was
seeing some other guy, you’d think that those two were fucking.

As you swing your gaze back to look at Jean (who’s still awkwardly standing by your bed)
you see a vase sitting on your desk with a single rose. You lift your hand to point at it, leading
Jean’s attention as you ask, “What’s that?”

He frowns. “Did you know that when flowers die they rot?” he asks with a snort. “You had a
bouquet of roses in your room when you left and it was stinking up the place. Sasha had to
get rid of them.”

“Ok… but what’s that?”

Jean shrugs. “She said one of them was fake, so she kept it.”

“Oh,” you say, looking at it curiously.

“They’re trying to get us alone,” Jean explains, pulling your attention back to him. He’s
looking down at the floor, one hand rubbing at the nape of his neck as he presses his lips into
a tight, thin line. “They’re going to keep doing this until we talk, so we should… talk.”

“Ok, sure,” you say, stepping forward and closing your bedroom door before returning to take
a seat on your bed. Jean sits down, too — on the other end of the bed, more than an arm’s
length away from you. “What do they want us to talk about?”

He gives you a look and you smirk at him.

“I’m kidding,” you say and he huffs, looking away again. “Why don’t we start with, how are
you?”

“I’m good,” he sighs, twiddling his thumbs in his lap. “I told you already, I got a promotion
at work.”

“That’s really sudden,” you say, feeling more comfortable being critical of the news now that
it’s just the two of you.

“The benefits of being a nepo baby,” he sings, smiling with clenched teeth. “Now that I’m in
management, Erwin’s been taking me with him to meetings out of town to acquire more
clients, so I spend a lot of time traveling these days.”

“Do you like it?”

“I like it a lot,” he confesses. “But I feel shitty because I know I’m only in this position
because of my dad.” He sighs heavily and falls back on your bed, clasping his hands together
on his chest as he stares up at your ceiling. “I get paid six figures just to drink beers with
other businessmen and pretend to write reports back at the office. I haven’t done any real
accounting since Trost. I feel like a fraud.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t take that job in Liberio.”

He exhales sharply through his nostrils. “I’m surprised you remember that.”

“It sounded like it would’ve been good for you,” you say.

“Maybe,” Jean says, leaving it at that.

bzz - bzz - bzz

Jean frowns, sliding a hand into his back pocket to pull out his phone. From where you’re
sitting, you can see the name clearly on the screen and it brings you a wave of anxiety and
nausea: Erwin Smith.

“Are you gonna take that?” you ask, nodding down at the phone in Jean’s hand as he stares
down at it. “It’s probably something important.”

“Yeah,” he agrees, glancing up from his phone to give you an apologetic look. “I still want to
talk to you — but maybe after?”

“Sure.”

He smiles at you gratefully before sliding his thumb across the bottom of his phone,
answering the call. Jean stands up at the same moment he starts speaking, and you watch him
walk out of your room into the privacy of his room.

With a heavy sigh, you glance around at the suitcases in your room and you start unpacking
your things.

***

“You’re fucking stupid, dude,” Connie scolded, clicking furiously in the game on his
computer as Jean laid face-down on his bed. “Why did you tell her to leave? I thought you
fucking loved her.”

“I know, Con,” Jean grumbled, voice muffled from the mattress. He lifted his head with a
huff, strands of hair falling into his eyes. “I couldn’t tell her to stay — do you have any idea
how fucked up we were together?”

“Right, yeah. Because sending her off to Hizaru is going to do wonders for your
relationship.”

“Maybe it will,” Jean insisted. “When she comes back, I’ll be different. I’ll be the man she
wants me to be and we can have a normal fucking relationship.”

“Yeah, and?” Connie scoffed, eyes still fixed on the screen. “She’s coming back in a fuckin’
year! Do you really think she’s still going to have feelings for you after that long?”

“I don't know,” Jean shrugged, rolling over onto his back. “Maybe.”

“Maybe,” Connie whined, mimicking Jean. “Fuck off. You need to be realistic — she’s
probably going to forget about you.” He snorted, as if amused by the thought, but continued.
“I bet she’s going to meet some guy out there in Hizaru and stay there forever. Or maybe
she’ll fall in love with Reiner, instead — what would be worse?”

“Shut up,” Jean groaned, brows furrowing at the thought.

“Ah! So it’s Reiner,” Connie said, smug. “Well then, I hope she falls in love with Reiner.”
“Aren’t you supposed to be my friend?” Jean scolded, throwing a pillow at Connie. “You’re
supposed to hype me up.”

“What am I supposed to say, Jean-boy?” Connie said, brows furrowing, and Jean wasn’t sure
if it was due to the game or their conversation. “You fumbled the bag — hard. The only thing
that would save this would be some sort of grand, romantic gesture.”

“Like what? You’re the one that said she’s not going to have feelings for me after she gets
back.”

“I don’t mean in a year,” Connie clarified, eyes shifting to glare at Jean for a second before
returning to his screen. “I mean, now.”

“Now?” Jean repeated, confused.

“Come on,” Connie groaned. “We’ve watched hundreds of those romcom movies with the
girls — the guys are always doin’ something big and romantic in those movies. Just take
inspiration from something we’ve watched together and do it now before she meets
somebody else.”

Jean pursed his lips, considering Connie’s advice carefully. “That’s… not actually a bad idea,
Con.”

“Duh,” Connie scoffed, rolling his eyes. “I work with kids. I’m used to giving advice to idiots
in love.”

Jean shook his head, ignoring the subtle dig, and rolled off of Connie’s bed and onto his feet.
“Great talk, Con. I’ll see you later, I’m going to bed.”

“See ya!” Connie called as Jean walked out of his room, shutting the door behind him.

Jean returned to his room and flopped into the same position on his own bed. He stared up at
the ceiling as he mulled on Connie’s advice — he was right, you and Sasha always went
crazy for those big, romantic love declarations.

He sat up suddenly and walked over to his desk, pulling out his chair and taking a seat. He
pulled open his drawers, searching for a pen and paper, before slamming them down onto his
desktop. He pulled the cap off of his pen and looked down at the blank page.

Greetings, he started — and then crossed it out.

What’s up? He crossed that out too.

Hey, he wrote.

He looked down at the page, lips pursed in thought before nodding and moving on to his next
line.

I hope things are going well in Hizaru! It’s been twelve hours since you left and Connie and
Sasha are already driving me fucking insane.
I’ve been thinking about you a lot today. Your absence is like this giant hole in the house that
can’t be filled. I keep walking past your room, thinking maybe I’ll see you lying there on your
bed, and it reminds me of how I used to burst into your room to bother you back in university.

Do you remember that? Do you remember living with Sasha at the dorms? Connie and I lived
a few floors above you guys, and I used to always go out of my way to walk down your
hallway just so I could hang out with you or Sasha if you guys were home… mostly you.

I was crazy about you. My heart used to always race every time I’d knock on your door,
hoping that I’d hear your cute little “Come in!” from the other side. I kinda miss back then
when things were simpler.

I know I really fucked things up with you. Every time we moved one step forward, I would run
ten steps back. I was stupid — I still am, but I want to change.

This might be too little, too late. You’re already setting down roots in Hizaru with Reiner (tell
him I say hi, btw) and forgetting all about the shit that went down here, but I need to try.

If you hate me, just tell me. I’ll stop. I’ll leave you alone. But I have to try. I’ve never tried
with you the way I should have.

So, this is me — trying.

Jean paused, tapping his pen on the desk as he read over the words on the page. He rubbed
the palm of his free hand across his mouth as he considered the words he wrote and what you
might think when you read them.

He folded up the paper into thirds, envelope-sized, and then stuffed it into one of his desk
drawers, deciding to mail it out the next day.

But when the next day came, he found himself sitting at his desk in front of a blank page
again. The last letter wasn’t right, he wasn’t saying what he needed to say — so he had to
start over.

Hey,

How’s the weather over there? Today, as I’m writing this, it’s storming pretty bad outside. You
know how Connie gets when there’s thunder, he’s always so freaked out about the power
going out. Sasha’s keeping him company right now, they’re playing cards in the living room
— but it doesn’t feel the same without you, so I’m hiding out in my room.

Do you remember that time when the four of us were out at the store picking up snacks for
movie night? This was before we all lived together and there was that major storm advisory
warning for the city. Do you remember how windy it was that day? The rain was falling
horizontally and we were holding hands because Sasha was worried someone was going to
blow away.

There was that huge, city-wide power outage and all the lights went out at the store. Do you
remember that? Do you remember the way Connie screamed? I’m laughing just thinking
about it. I hope you’re laughing, too.

You calmed him down so easily. You pulled out your phone and started playing music from
one of his little dungeon-crawling video games. We all used our phones as flashlights and
snuck around the store like we were scavenging for supplies. Sasha was rolling on the ground
to hide from zombies and you and I were tip-toeing through the aisles “acquiring resources”.

Connie was having such a blast that he was practically disappointed when the power came
back on.

I remember thinking you were so beautiful that night. The way you handled it so quickly and
turned his fear into a fun game. I couldn’t stop thinking about what you’d be like if we had
kids together. I think you’d be a really good mom.

My hand was so sweaty when we walked back from the store, I remember you teasing me
about it. I got mad at you for calling me out and blamed it on the rain. I’m sorry for being
rude.

Jean set down his pen and covered his face with his palms, breathing out slowly. He sat like
that for a few long moments before pulling his hands from his face and folding up the letter.
He stuffed it into the drawer with the other one but made no promises to himself that night
about mailing it out.

The following day, and each day after that, he repeated the process. Whether he was at home
or away for business, he found himself sitting down in front of a blank sheet of paper and
writing you a letter. Every day, he did that — every day for the entire year you were gone.

Do you remember that time the four of us went to that comedy club and you and Sasha split a
bottle of wine on an empty stomach? You guys got us kicked out of the club because you two
were so drunk and heckling the comedians too much. I remember you felt bad and bought me
food on the walk home because I was so mad and snippy with you both. I’m sorry I treated
you that way.

I wasn’t mad because we got kicked out of the club. I was mad because that guy that was
sitting next to us kept hitting on you. I felt stupid because it’s not like I had any right to be
mad about something like that, so I just took it out on you.

I wish I could’ve had the courage to wrap my arm around your shoulders and pull you into
my chest that night. Imagine the look on that guy’s face! You’d play along — I know you
would, you always do with my little schemes — and you’d pretend like I was your boyfriend.
Maybe after enough drinks I would’ve been brave enough to kiss you. I wish I had.

Each letter felt like tearing out a piece of his heart. It hurt to remember all of those moments
with you, moments where he could’ve been better, where he could have admitted how he felt
— apologizing to you for every time he did something wrong. The words just flowed onto
the page every time he sat down at his desk, he rarely even had to think about what to write
— it all just came naturally.
Why was it so easy to admit all these things on paper but not in person? Jean realized that if
he had just manned up and talked to you like an adult, you might have stayed.

But you didn’t, so instead, Jean wrote letters that he would never send.

On New Year’s last year, we went to that party hosted at the school. Do you remember? The
student pub only sold tickets for a day before they sold out — luckily for us, Connie had
connections and was able to secure our tickets.

It’s always awkward when they start doing the countdown and everyone pairs off. I know you
and Sasha usually kiss each other and Connie dramatically makes out with his hand. I always
tried to run off and find some random to kiss when the ball dropped.

That time, though, the pub was so packed, I couldn’t run off. You and I were trapped near the
bar and Connie and Sasha were God knows where. The countdown was starting and you
were yelling along with the rest of the pub while I was standing next to you in a panic.

You were getting so excited as it got closer to midnight and I remember the way you looked
up at me that night. Your lips were all glossy and your eyes had that drunken haze you always
get after a few drinks.

I think you expected me to kiss you when the countdown hit zero. I really wish I had, I really
fucking wish I had. But like an idiot, I just turned away from you and downed the rest of my
drink. When I turned back to look at you, you were kissing someone else standing next to you.

I felt fucking stupid. Connie still bugs me about that night. I regret telling him. I’m sorry I
was such a coward.

As Jean takes the call with Erwin, he takes a few long strides to reach his desk, pulling open
his drawer and grabbing the stack of letters from inside. Erwin tells him that he needs to
come into the office for a few hours today, and Jean frowns as he looks down at the letter in
his hand.

Do you remember that time we went out to my family’s cabin for the weekend? That was the
time that you and I went skinny dipping alone together.

That was the boldest I had ever been with you. I was drunk on the way you looked at me that
day. I kept catching you staring at me and it made me feel like I actually had a chance with
you.

I wanted to kiss you on the dock. If those idiots hadn’t interrupted us, I probably would have.
You looked perfect in the moonlight and I wanted you so bad — I could tell you wanted me,
too.

I think a lot about that night. If it had just been you and me out there, I definitely would’ve
kissed you. And kissing would’ve led to touching and then we probably would’ve made love
on the dock.

I mean that — made love. Because I loved you. I still do. Even after all this time.
I love you.

I’m sorry I was too scared to tell you. Loving you shouldn’t have been scary, it should’ve
been easy. I was so convinced that I’d hurt you, but I didn’t even give myself a chance to
prove myself.

I sabotaged us. I ruined us. I made you feel like it was your fault but it was mine .

If there’s any part of you that still loves me — that still has feelings for me… I want to try
again. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize what I needed to do. I wasted so much time
running away from you.

Please, I love you. I want you back.

That was the last letter Jean wrote — reading it back makes him feel sick.

Three hundred sixty-five letters, written and addressed to you but never sent.

Jean’s not sure why he never sent you the letters. Sasha knew your address, courtesy of your
Find My Friends app on your phone, so it’s not like he didn’t know where to mail them to.
Just like every other moment in his life, Jean found himself fumbling at the finish line.

Writing each letter made him feel so vulnerable and raw. He’s never expressed his emotions
so candidly — even to you — even when the two of you were seeing each other. It felt scary
and every time he thought about it, it just made him feel nauseous.

So instead, he just collected them in his desk.

Connie comes into Jean’s room and catches him flipping through the pages. “Didn’t go
well?” he asks softly and Jean glances at him from over his shoulder.

“No, we got interrupted,” he says with a sigh, “Erwin wants me to go into the office for a bit
— I’ll have to talk to her when I get home.”

“You've been putting this off long enough,” Connie frowns, and Jean turns forward to look at
the letters again. “Just tell her you still have feelings for her. It’ll take like two seconds.”

“I will, I will,” Jean assures him dismissively. “I’ll show her all of the letters I wrote.”

“I think she’ll like that.”

“Maybe,” Jean says, feeling his heart clench with hope.

***

After Jean leaves and you finish unpacking your things, you head into Sasha’s room to go
bother her and find her lying back on her bed, scrolling through her phone. She perks up
when she sees you, eyes wide.

“How’d it go?”
“Unpacking?” you ask, closing the door behind you before walking forward to dive under the
blankets with Sasha.

“Uh… sure!” she says awkwardly, and you giggle.

“You mean my talk with Jean?”

She sighs, “Yeah, or that.”

“How much do you already know?” you ask warily and she shoots you a guilty look.

“We don’t talk about you anymore,” she says. “Atleast, he doesn’t with me. We don’t use the
Golden Trio group chat much, so I don’t know anything. I felt really guilty about keeping that
a secret from you, I’m really sorry.”

You shrug, “It’s ok, I get it —“

“It’s really not what you think,” she says quickly. “I’m friends with them, sure. But you’re
my friend, too. I’m not going to go behind your back anymore... the only thing Connie told
me was that there's something that Jean wants to... tell you? Give you? I can't remember.”

You sigh in relief and let Sasha lace her fingers with yours, squeezing your hand lightly. “So,
tell me what happened.”

“Honestly, he didn’t say much,” you admit with a shrug. “We got interrupted by a phone call
from Erwin, so Jean had to leave.”

Sasha frowns, groaning loudly. “That’s so anticlimactic,” she whines. “I was expecting him to
confess his love for you and beg for forgiveness.”

“Sorry to disappoint,” you snort, but your heart beats a little faster in your chest.

“Well, he’s stupid,” she whispers. “He’s going to regret losing you and when you and
whoever gets married and he’s sitting in the stands like a kicked puppy, I’m gonna flip him
off from the altar.”

“Why are you standing at the altar? Are we getting married?”

“I meant as a bridesmaid,” she giggles, laughing into your neck. “But if you wanna get
married, I won’t say no!”

You laugh with her, squeezing her tight as the two of you giggle in each other’s arms.

You missed Sasha — you really did.

Being apart from everyone made you realize how important she is to you. Even though she
could’ve been better about how everything happened between you and Jean, she was one of
the only people in your life who actually gave you solid advice. She was one of the few
people you could rely on to knock some sense into you when you were being ridiculous.
When you moved to Hizaru with Reiner, you deleted all of your social media accounts and
you changed your phone number. After Jean told you to leave, you were so heartbroken that
you just wanted to disconnect from everyone back home.

Except for Sasha. She was the only person from back home that you reached out to with your
new number.

Sasha was — is — your best friend. And you’re glad to be with her again.

“So, what now? What are you going to do now that you’re back?”

“I’m not sure,” you say, laying on your back and pulling the blankets up to your chin. “I’ll
have to find another job, for sure, so I’m going to see if I can work with Levi at his tea shop
until I figure things out. I really want to make sure I choose something that I’m passionate
about.”

“That’s a good idea,” Sasha hums, smiling.

“Yeah, I’m going to head over there now to go talk to him.”

She smiles, “Are you going to be back in time for movie night? Nic’s coming.”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the World.”

“Good,” she sighs. “Jean’s going to go pick up snacks and drinks, I think. Any special
requests?”

“He should know what I like by now,” you say with a scoff, but her question brings up
another concern you’ve had on your mind. “Hey, Sash… are you guys ok with me staying
here?”

She frowns, brows furrowed. “What? Of course, we are!”

“Well, just with everything that happened with me and Jean… I don’t want to make things
uncomfortable in the house.”

She scoffs, waving her hand in dismissal. “Jean’s barely around anyway, it doesn’t matter.”
When you look over at her curiously, she continues. “He’s either gone for work or staying at
his condo in the city. We honestly never see him anymore, I don’t know why he bothers
paying rent here.”

“He has a place in the city?”

She nods. “He’s been working so much that it’s just easier for him to stay there instead of
commuting back and forth. Honestly, we don’t even do movie nights anymore, he’s so busy.”

“That’s so unlike him,” you say with a frown.

“Yeah,” Sasha sighs. “He’s… different.”

You hum in response, awkwardly fiddling with the sheets as you drift away in thought.

Sasha’s smirk slowly fades away as she looks at you, her expression turning a little softer as
she asks in a whisper, “If he had confessed… what would you have said?”

***

Navigating the city has always been annoying. You don’t drive much as you were usually
chauffeured around town by either Eren or Jean, so you struggle with the traffic in Sasha’s
car until you finally find an available parkade that’s near Levi’s teashop. You don’t think
about the way you have to walk past Eren’s condo to get there.

Levi’s teashop looks the same as you remember it and as you walk down the alley to the main
doors, you can’t help but smile at the comforting emptiness of the shop. When you open the
front door, you hear a small bell jingling above you as Levi calls out from the back room.

“How can I —” as he comes around the corner, he catches your eye, and you see for the first
time, a genuine smile cross his face. “Oh, she’s back,” he says, feigning indifference.

You return his smile and walk up to the counter. “Hi, Levi!”

“Nice to see you again, brat,” he scoffs, tapping on the counter with his fingertips before
turning away to start working on a drink. “How was your trip?”

“It was a lot of fun,” you say with a sigh, leaning down to rest your forearms on the counter
as you watch Levi work. “Reiner and I were assigned to the same prefecture but not the same
town, so we could only see each other on the weekends,” you explain. “Living and working
in a town all by myself was a really nice reset after everything that happened with Titan
and… well…” you trail off in dismissal. “Reiner and I became pretty close with the other
people that were accepted in the program, so it was a tonne of fun.”

“Glad to hear that,” Levi hums, back facing you as he steams some milk. “Was that your first
time being on your own?”

“Yeah,” you say with a sigh. “It was weird adjusting and I was really lonely at first, but I
think it was good for me. I was so used to relying on other people to help manage my feelings
and emotions, so being alone in a foreign country was a really drastic way to quit that bad
habit.”

Levi snorts in amusement from your comment. You watch him delicately pour the steamed
milk into your cup before placing it onto a saucer and setting it on the counter in front of you.

Looking down at your mug, you see that he’s drawn you a small flower with the milk. “This
is cute,” you hum.

“Petra suggested I start doing it,” he explains. “Latte art, it’s called.”

“How’s Petra doing?” you ask, following Levi over to one of the tables and taking a seat with
your tea. It’s still too hot to drink, so you just warm your fingers with the mug in the
meantime.
“She’s still at Titan,” Levi says and his face loses its softness. “But she’s a manager now
and… she’s still unreasonably optimistic about changing things.”

“That sounds like Petra,” you say, blowing steam from your mug. “Has she made any
changes yet?”

“She’s fighting a losing battle,” Levi says with an eye roll. “But she’s doing her best, and if
there’s anyone at that godforsaken place that can make a difference — it’s her.”

Despite Levi’s efforts to appear uninterested and detached, you can tell how much he worries
about Petra from the way he speaks about her. His brows pinch together slightly as his finger
traces the rim of his cup, keeping his eyes low as he continues. You wonder if this is how he
looked when he spoke about you, back when the two of you were working together.

“She hasn’t sent me over any more stray dogs like you, so I’ll take that as a positive sign.”

“Good for her,” you say happily and Levi hums in response as he brings his mug up to his
lips. “Speaking of that, I wanted to thank you for taking me in… I was feeling really hopeless
and confused and I really appreciated your kindness and advice.”

He shrugs but says nothing.

“You were a really positive influence in my life and I appreciated the tough love.”

He scoffs and rolls his eyes, “Is that why you’re here? To thank me for basic human
decency?” and you snort.

“No, I… well, actually, I wanted to ask if I can work here again with you, now that I’m
back,” you say, stumbling over your words and suddenly feeling a wave of anxiety as Levi
looks at you. “It’s ok if you don’t need the help, but I just thought I’d ask —”

“Do you still have your apron?”

“Yeah, I think so…”

“Then you can start whenever you’re ready,” he says, glancing away. “You know the drill,
don’t make me explain it all again.”

“Thank you, Levi,” you say and he dismisses it with a wave. “I haven’t decided yet what I’m
going to do now that I’m back. I’m not sure if I’ll go back to accounting, but maybe after I
save up some money I can go back to school for something else. I think I’ll work here for a
few months before I decide.”

“Have you ever thought about recruiting?” Levi asks and he shifts his gaze back to your face.
“I have a friend who owns a recruiting company and they’re looking.”

“I don’t know if I’m qualified…”

“All you need is a business degree, there’s no special designation required,” he assures you.
“And it’s not like Titan, they actually have decent staffing for training.”
“Um, maybe,” you say with a shrug.

“They aim to help people working in public transition into industry. They advocate for work-
life balance and mental health — I think you’d really enjoy it.”

“What are they called?”

“HERO Recruiting,” he explains. “I’ll send Miche your information and you can talk to him
about it. He can help get you settled in a division that suits your expertise best — he has a
nose for that kind of thing.”

“Thanks, Levi,” you say with a heavy sigh, bringing the teacup to your lips. “How do you
know him?”

“We used to work together with Hange and Erwin at Titan,” he says. “He’s been trying to get
me to work for him, but I’m happy here, making tea.”

“That’s good,” you hum. “Do what makes you happiest.”

He smiles as you take a sip from your drink and you taste the vanilla. When you set the cup
back down on the saucer, you suck your teeth in thought from the emotions it brings back.

“Good philosophy,” Levi says with a smirk. “I wonder where you got that from.”

“An old professor of mine,” you tease with a shrug. “Grumpy, old bastard.”

“Hey.”

***

The weight in your bag compels you to turn toward Eren’s condo as you approach it. You feel
like you can’t even control your feet as you walk, finding yourself standing in front of the
main doors of his building — but then you realize the fatal flaw in your sudden decision.

You need to be buzzed in.

You stand outside for a minute, contemplating waiting for someone to exit so they can let you
in, but you think that’s unlikely, given how fancy this building is. Then, you consider sending
him a text message to let him know you’re downstairs, but you’re worried he won’t respond
and that you’d just be embarrassing yourself.

So, you decide to just buzz his room.

You mentally prepare a speech to give him — maybe you don’t need to go all the way up to
his room — but the door buzzes loudly next to you and you realize that he’s already let you
in.

With a shrug, you open the main doors and head toward the elevator, pushing the large red
eight-button that takes you up to his floor — at least, you hope it’s his floor. You have no idea
if Eren even still lives here.
Your nerves finally hit when the elevator dings! and the doors slide open. You haven’t been
here since your last night together and the memories are hitting you all at once. You swallow
thickly, clutching your bag tight to your chest before crossing the threshold onto the eighth
floor and making your way down the hall to his room.

You knock on the door, softly at first, and then again with more force. You wonder if maybe
he’s expecting someone, and that’s why he buzzed you in without a word — like a girlfriend,
maybe? You try to shake the thought away.

The door swings inward and you gawk up at the man before you and his dark, emerald eyes.
You watch his face light up before twisting in confusion as he mumbles your name. “What
are you doing here?”

“I’m back from Hizaru,” you explain lamely and thankfully he smiles.

“Do you want to come inside?” he asks, swinging the door open wider and stepping aside.
You nod and enter his condo.

It looks different from what you remember. Before, it was devoid of personality — just a
showroom with perfect furniture and nothing out of place.

But as you walk into his living room, you see pictures on the walls. Eren at his graduation,
dressed in a grown and cap, arm-and-arm with his best friend, Armin. Teenaged Eren and
Jean, making faces at the camera like stupid teenagers do. And Eren as a child with a woman
that looks too much like him to be anyone else but his mother.

You swallow back all the feelings bubbling up in your throat as you take a seat in his living
room. You can’t help but run your fingertips over the fabric of the couch, thinking back to the
last time you were here with Eren.

He settles down next to you — close, but not too close. Familiar without intimacy.

“Your hair is different,” you comment, gesturing vaguely up at his face.

“Oh, yeah,” he shrugs, running a hand through the buzzed undercut near the nape of his neck.
“I thought it was time for a change.”

“It looks good.”

“Thanks.”

You feel awkward. Now that you’re here, you’re feeling a little tongue-tied. You regret letting
yourself go through with this.

“How have you been?” he asks, clearly feeling awkward as well. “Was Hizaru everything you
wanted it to be?”

You nod, taking in a quick breath to try to calm yourself down before speaking. “Yeah, I
really enjoyed myself out there.”
“That’s good to hear,” you smile and you notice that his eyes crinkle when they do. It’s such a
stark contrast to the strained smiles he gave you when the two of you last spoke that it makes
your heart hurt.

“Is Reiner back too?” Eren asks.

“Yeah, him and I flew back together,” you explain. “He’s packing up his things to move back
to Marley, though.”

“Oh, shit — good for him,” Eren hums in approval. “Back to work at the farm?”

“Yeah, he is,” you nod. “Are you still at Titan?”

“Yeah, for now,” he laughs with a shrug. He glances over his shoulder at the door before
returning his gaze to you. “I’m still doing bullshit junior work for Oluo, but it’s not too bad
anymore,” he continues.

“That’s good. I’m glad,” you say, fiddling with your hands in your lap. “Is Floch still there,
too?” you ask, not really caring but just trying to fill the air with conversation.

“Nah, he quit not long after you did,” he explains. “I don’t know what he’s up to now, I don’t
really keep in touch with Floch anymore.”

“Oh? Why’s that?”

“He’s kind of a shitbag,” Eren snorts and you laugh.

“I’m glad you finally realized that,” you tease and his smile softens.

“I realized a lot of things after you left.”

He speaks so quietly, that you almost don’t hear him over the sound of your laughter, but you
do, and you pause. You suck in a sharp breath and dart your eyes down to your lap, steeling
your nerves as you prepare to apologize to him for the way you treated him, but you see him
looking back over his shoulder again at the door, and you frown.

“Are you expecting someone?” you ask, looking up at him.

“Uh, yeah, I am,” he says, shifting back to meet your gaze.

“Oh, sorry, don’t worry, I’ll be quick.”

“No, no, take your time,” Eren assures, giving you another one of his warm smiles, but you
still feel on edge. “So, why did you stop by?” Eren asks, sucking his cheek into his mouth. “I
assume you’re not here just to catch up.”

“No, I’m not,” you say, looking back down at your lap. “Going to Hizaru really helped clear
my head and gave me an opportunity to look back on the things I did and… and the way I
treated you.”
You glance up at Eren to see him looking at you intently, and he nods for you to continue.

“I’m sorry I used you as an emotional dumping ground and took advantage of the feelings
you had for me to make myself feel better,” you say, wincing. “I was so focused on trying to
get Jean’s attention that I… I was really disrespectful to you.”

Eren nods but says nothing, and you fiddle with your hands in your lap awkwardly.

“I know I’m just digging up old drama again by coming here — I’m sure you’ve already
moved on — but, I really wanted to apologize to you.” You crumble forward into yourself
feeling the weight of your words land on your shoulders. “You were nothing but nice to me
since the beginning and I practically spat in your face. You deserved a lot better than that —
than me — and I’m sorry… I’m just — I’m really sorry, Eren.”

Finally, Eren chuckles a little and looks away with a sigh. “I appreciate you coming by,” he
says. “And, thank you for apologizing. I was shitty back then, too, but it’s all in the past,
now.”

You wait for him to say more, but he doesn’t. So you press your lips into a tight, thin line and
stand up from the couch. It’s obvious to you that Eren doesn’t care about your apology, so
you want to get out of here before you embarrass yourself any further.

“Thanks for listening to me,” you say, grabbing your bag and pulling it onto your shoulder.
“I’ll get out of your hair.”

Eren nods and quietly follows you to the door, as you approach, the buzzer near his front
door goes off. He leans past you, tapping the Open button without bothering to speak to the
person below and you offer him a little smile.

“I guess your visitor is here now,” you say.

He doesn’t respond, stepping forward to open the door for you and holding it against the wall
as he smiles. “It was nice seeing you again.”

“Yeah,” you say, swallowing thickly. You wring your hands around the strap of your bag as
you look up at him, sweating nervously, and then you remember. “Oh, wait!”

You pull open your bag, digging around inside for a moment as Eren looks at you curiously.

From inside your bag, you pull out a box and hold it out to Eren. You watch his eyes widen in
delight as he takes it from your hands. “It’s a —”

“A Gundam, right?” you say, awkwardly rubbing the nape of your neck. “I remember you
said you liked building them, and I saw this one when I was in Hizaru.”

You point down at the box, toward the Gundam’s bright green eyes. “It reminded me of you,
so I just thought… well…”

Before you can embarrass yourself anymore, you take off down the hallway back to the
elevators. You don’t even wait to hear Eren’s response to your gift — you just need to leave.
As you thumb the call button for the elevator, your hands are trembling and your body feels
hot all over. You don’t know why your body is going into fight or flight after giving Eren a
fucking toy, but you’re looking forward to getting out of the building and heading back
home.

One of the two elevators dings loudly when it reaches your floor and in your panic, you
almost charge into the girl that’s walking out of the elevator.

“Oh my God! I’m so sorry!” you say, quickly jumping back to avoid a head-on collision with
the beautiful girl with long dark hair walking out of the elevator.

“Sorry!” she says in response, equally as flustered.

The two of you stare at each other awkwardly before she laughs nervously. “Ok, well… bye!”
she says, smiling before walking around you and down the hallway.

You charge into the elevator the second she steps out of the way and thumb the button for the
lobby repeatedly. You clench your eyes shut tightly and pray for the doors to close as you try
not to think about the fact that that girl was walking in the direction of Eren’s room.

***

Eren struggled after you left.

He thought about returning to his old ways — what was the point in trying anymore if it hurt
so much? But he couldn’t after he realized that the pain that he felt from how you treated him
was the same as the pain he caused others.

He went through the first month without you on autopilot. He went through his routine in a
zombie-like haze until he was able to return home and smoke himself to sleep. It was an
unhealthy cycle of self-destruction, but at least he wasn’t hurting anyone else.

“Eren,” called a muffled voice from the other side of his door. “Let me in, Eren. Please.”

Eren took another long drag off his vape, staring blankly at the black screen of his TV as
Armin pounded on his front door. He exhaled the smoke from his nostrils, surrounding
himself for a moment in the haze before he pushed himself up to his feet.

Unlocking the door felt like a chore and he spun the deadbolt before dropping his hand to the
handle and turning it open. The door was hardly open a crack before Armin pushed it open
with his forearm, face twisted in concern.

“You’re not answering your phone,” Armin said, pushing into Eren’s apartment and letting
the door fall closed behind him. “Is everything ok?”

“I don’t know,” Eren sighed, bringing his vape back up to his lips for another drag.

Armin’s frown deepened and he snatched the vape out from Eren’s hand. “What happened,
Eren?”
Eren drifted back into the living room and flopped face-first into the couch with a low groan.
With his face buried in the cushions, he could only faintly hear Armin approaching, but he
felt Armin’s warm, comforting hand on his shoulder and the dip of the couch when Armin
took a seat next to him.

Eren’s chest felt empty knowing that you weren’t here anymore — he felt like he didn’t know
who he was after you left. He was trying to be better, he wanted to be better… but he wanted
to be better for you.

But now with you gone…?

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do,” he said into the couch.

“So, you’re just going to smoke yourself to death because the first girl you fell in love with
rejected you?” Armin asked, tone laced with concern despite the harshness of his words.
“Eren, this isn’t the end.”

Eren twisted his face to the side, pressing his cheek into the cushions and looking up at
Armin with a heavy sigh. “I just love her so much, Armin.”

“Well, a lot can change in a few months,” Armin offered as Eren wiped the tears off his cheek
with the heels of his hands. “Maybe you’ll meet someone new.”

“I don’t want to,” he pouts. “I want to wait for her but I’m so fucking scared that she’s going
to come back and still want him … I’m scared that I’m going to be forgotten by someone that
I’ll never forget.”

“Yeah, that’s a possibility, too.”

“You’re not helping.”

“I’m trying to be realistic,” Armin sighed. “I don’t want to give you false hope and tell you
that things will be ok, when neither of us will ever know that. There’s a chance she’ll meet
someone new in Hizaru or maybe she’ll still be in love with Jean or maybe she won’t love
anyone.”

Eren scoffed, but Armin continued.

“You can’t sit around waiting for her and forget to live your own life. If you really love her,
you know she wouldn’t want that for you.” Armin pressed two fingers into Eren’s back,
where his heart would be. “This pain that you’re feeling will go away, eventually. I know it
doesn’t feel like that, but one day, it will.”

“How?”

“You’ll meet someone else, Eren,” Armin repeated and Eren frowned. “You don’t have to try
to be better for her, you can be better for yourself. Be someone you can be proud of.”

Eren made a noncommittal noise in his throat, shifting his gaze back down to the couch.
“Life goes on after heartbreak,” Armin sighed. “You’re being really dramatic right now and I
need you to snap out of it.”

“‘M not being dramatic,” Eren pouted. “You’re being cynical. You see it all the time in
movies, the couple always ends up together in the end, no matter what.”

“This isn’t a movie, Eren.”

Despite Eren’s protests, he knew that Armin was right — he had to be better for himself.

“Ok,” Eren said with a heavy sigh, sitting up on the couch properly next to Armin. He rubbed
his palms across his jaw, feeling the stubble on his face as he did so, and he was painfully
reminded of how little care he was taking of himself since you left.

“Ok,” he repeated with a heavy sigh, running his hands through his hair. “I need to be better
for me ”

After his conversation with Armin, Eren cleaned himself up: he showered, he shaved, he cut
his hair, went to the gym… he did everything that he could to bring himself back out of his
fog of hopelessness to return to the person he once was — with a few big exceptions.

Eren stopped talking to most of the guys he became friends with through Zeke and spent
more time hanging out with Armin when he could. And after a few months of consistently
working on himself — Eren sent out apology messages.

With Armin’s help, he came up with a list of all of the people he had hooked up with in
university and then tracked them down on social media. There were a handful of people who
had blocked him, but Eren was able to find most of them online.

It took a lot of courage to reach out, but he made sure that he wrote a personalized message to
every single person he fucked over. Every person whose heart he broke, every person he
ghosted after fucking, and every person that he had rated in the Devils group chat.

A handful of people blocked him, not even bothering to respond to the message. Some sent
angry messages back and others responded kindly. A small number of people thanked him for
the apology and then immediately tried to coordinate another hookup, which Eren had to
politely decline.

Apologizing didn’t make him feel any better about himself, if anything, it made him feel even
worse to acknowledge how horrible he was in the past — but he knew it was important to do,
even though it made him uncomfortable. It was the least he could do to all of the people he
hurt while trying to self-medicate the ache in his own chest.

He wanted to apologize to you, too. He wanted to apologize for using you to make Jean mad.
For trying to force you into forgiving him after all of the awful things you saw on his phone
when really you just needed some space.

At the time, Eren felt like he couldn’t afford to give you space. Under any other
circumstance, maybe he would’ve been able to back off and let you decide to forgive him on
your own, but with Jean in the picture he was so scared that if he wasn’t pushy, you’d choose
him instead.

In the end, it didn’t really matter. You left for Hizaru with a piece of Eren’s heart in your
hands, and you didn’t even want it.

Although it hurt, he was glad that you left. The distance was supposed to make it easier for
him to forget about how much he cared about you. He hoped that he could maybe, one day,
move on — and then maybe the two of you could be just friends.

After you run off, he stands rooted in the doorway of his condo, foot still propping open the
door as he looks down at the box in his hand. How did you even remember Eren’s little
hobby after all this time? Enough to buy something like this for him?

It reminded me of you, you said, brushing your fingers over the bright green eyes of the
character on the box — and then you ran off. Eren can still feel the butterflies in his stomach
from your words, even after all this time.

“Eren!” calls a cheerful voice from the hallway.

Eren looks up, smiling brightly at the dark-haired girl walking toward him. He raises his hand
half-heartedly in a wave as she approaches, trying to shake off his tension. “What do you
have there?”

“Just a gift,” he says with a shrug, hugging it against his chest, away from her prying eyes.
“From an old friend.”

***

“An animated movie?” Connie frowns, settling into his seat on the couch as you select a
movie to watch with your roommates.

“Yeah, what’s wrong with that?” you pout, casting him a sideways glance. “I watched a ton
of anime when I was in Hizaru to help pick up on the language and it’s really good! You
should give it a shot.”

Connie makes a retching sound and you roll your eyes in response, returning your attention to
the TV to choose your movie.

“I’m surprised you’re not already into anime, Con,” Sasha says, sprawling out across the
couch and curling up under a blanket. “Seems like something right up your alley, along with
all your weird little video games.”

“They’re not weird!” Connie crosses his arms over his chest with a huff, falling back onto the
couch and grumbling to himself.

“Stop fighting and just pick a fucking movie!” Jean says from the kitchen, yelling over the
sound of the popcorn machine. “It’s not even your turn, Connie. Stop pitching a fit.”

“I’m not pitching a fit, I’m offering constructive criticism.”

“The fuck you are.”

“Hey!” Sasha yelled, voice stern. “Cut it out, guys! Nic’s gonna be here soon and I don’t
want you embarrassing me.”

“Ooo, Nic!” Connie coos from his place on the opposite end of your couch. “You two gonna
make out the whole time or what?”

“Ew, Connie!” Sasha screeches but her face turns bright red. “Don’t embarrass me!”

She sends you a pleading look for aid and you jump at the opportunity. “Yeah, Con — when
are you gonna bring someone home, huh?”

“Oh, shut up,” he groans, rolling his eyes so dramatically that his head falls back onto the
couch. “I already told you guys, I have a girl.”

“You mean that fucking Chat AI bot you’re always talking to?” Jean calls from the kitchen
and you can hear him laughing to himself.

“She’s not a bot!”

You have to bite your lip to contain your grin as the chaos of the Core Four surrounds you.
You thought things might be a little awkward, but it feels like you never left. When the four
of you are together, it’s so easy to slip into the familiar comfort of roomie squabbles. You
didn’t realize how much you missed it until now that you’re back.

You hear Jean calling your name from the kitchen a moment before his head peeks out from
the doorway. “Hey, can you come in here for a second?” Even though he’s speaking to you,
he’s looking anywhere but directly at you.

You shoot a glance toward Sasha and she just offers a shrug. “Ok, I’ll be right there,” you
say, standing up from your seat and heading into the kitchen.

Jean is standing by the far counter, leaning with one hand wrapped around the edge of the
counter and the other one holding a stack of letters, pressed against his chest. “Hey, I wanted
to talk to you again,” he says, still not looking at you.

“Ok,” you say hesitantly. The sound of the popcorn machine drowns out Sasha and Connie’s
argument from the other room, but it also makes it hard to hear Jean from your place at the
doorway, so you approach him slowly.

“I know that it’s been a long time,” he says, swallowing thickly. There’s a small waver to his
voice as he speaks that has you looking up at him curiously. “But… I want us to be together.”

“What?”

“You mean, so fucking much to me,” he continues, and you can see as you get closer that the
hand against his chest is shaking. “I know I was really shitty to you when we were together
before your trip, but I don’t want to give up.” He’s rambling now, fingers gripping the ledge
of the countertop so tightly you can see his knuckles turning white. “Please, just give me one
more chance. I can prove it to you, this time — we can be together.”

You blink at him in shock, but you’re unable to form words.

“Please,” he insists, and he thrusts his hand out toward you, trembling as he holds the stack of
letters. “Please, just read these — I need you to know how much I care about you. I promise
I’ll be better — I’ll be the man you fell in love with — just give me a chance.”

You reach out with shaky hands to take the stack from Jean, and the second your fingers wrap
around them he pulls his hand back to his side — almost defensively. You look down at the
unmarked envelopes in your hands before thumbing one open and pulling out a letter.

“Jean, what is this?”

“I wrote to you every fucking day you were gone,” he says, voice soft over the sound of the
whirring popcorn machine on the counter beside him. “Apologizing for everything I did
wrong — telling you how I feel — everything.”

You look down at the page, words written in Jean’s familiar chicken scratch and you only
read a few lines before you stuff it back into the envelope and scrunch your eyes shut.

“Jean…”

“Please, I lo—”

“You’re too late,” you say suddenly, cutting him off. You blink up at him, feeling rage and
fury building inside of you as you look up at his bewildered face. “It’s too late, Jean,” you
repeat.

You hold the stack of letters back out for Jean to take from you, but he makes no move to
reach for it — just sinking his head down to stare at it as he swallows thickly.

“No, you’re not listening — you just have to read them —”

“I’m listening, Jean,” you snap. “You’re still the same person that told me to leave a year ago.
Why would I ever believe that you’d change for me when you still haven’t?”

“Because I need you,” he insists, but his voice is weak and his gaze is low. “I can’t do it
without you.”

“It’s not my responsibility to make you a better person,” you say with a frown and Jean falls
silent, head sinking even further. “Take the letters, Jean.” You jut them out further into the
space between you, urging him to take them. “You can’t really expect me to want us to go
back to the way things were before I left.”

“I wanted you to stay,” he confesses, voice quiet. “I wanted you to be with me.”

“Then why did you tell me to leave?”

“I had to,” he explains, “I wasn’t good for you — not then.”

“Why do you always think you know what’s best for me?” you ask, surprising yourself with
the harshness of your tone. “I gave you my heart, Jean. I told you how I felt and I told you
that I wanted to be with you but you never wanted to believe me.” You shake the envelopes
angrily, hoping that Jean will take them out of your hands. “You’re too late, Jean.”

The silence between the two of you is stilted and awkward. What happened to the friendly
banter the two of you once shared? The way you felt so comfortable in each other’s
presence? The way your hands would seek him out, just to feel him against your skin?

“You’re still really important to me,” he says.

Jean tilts his head to face you and the two of you just stare at each other for a moment. You
feel your breath catch in your throat as your eyes scan his face — the sharp lines of his jaw
and cheekbones, the soft dusting of stubble on his skin, and the weight of his confession in
the bags under his eyes.

You had tried so hard to make things work between you and Jean, even as you started to
realize that he wasn't who you thought he was — and he didn’t do anything. He was so
convinced that he couldn’t be better, that he didn’t even try.

The reality of the situation makes you furious. He can’t just come hand you a stack of
fucking letters and expect you to fall into his arms again. You’re not the same idealistic, naive
girl that you were before you left.

You changed — but Jean didn’t.

“It’s been a full year and you’re still the same person I left behind,” you say, trying to control
the way your voice wavers when you speak. “You’re still at Titan, you’re still doing all the
shit you said you hated — what happened to the Jean that used to be disgusted with how his
father treated people? The Jean that wanted to be his own person?”

“I’m trying —”

“No, you’re not!” you snap, shaking the letters again. “How are you living like this? This is
everything that you said you hated!”

His gaze wavers as he looks down at you, still white-knuckling the edge of the counter.
“There’s no running away from the Kirstein name and there’s nothing wrong with benefitting
from it,” but even as he speaks, it feels like he’s trying to convince himself. “This is the only
way to succeed in business and I want to succeed. I need people to know who I am so I can
get what I want from them — what Erwin wants from them. I make good money and I’m not
going to throw that away because of some stupid ideals of individualism that I wanted when I
was a fucking teenager. ”

“Are you happy?” you ask quietly.

“I’m on track to become Partner at Titian in a few years,” he says in response and you nod,
pressing your lips together tightly in disappointment.

Things with Jean are different now. No matter how hard you want to believe that they’re not,
your friendship with Jean will never be the same.

And maybe that’s a good thing.

You and Jean were so toxic to each other — that’s clear to you now, especially as you stand
here in the kitchen with him, shaking in anger. What did you even like about him in the first
place? Love about him? You can’t think of a single thing.

When you see the man he’s become in your absence, he’s the spitting image of his father.
He’s a manager at Titan, he gets by just on his family’s notoriety, and he’s nothing like the
man you thought he was. He's always been all talk and no action and it's disappointing to see
that, even after all this time, he's still unwilling to take life into his hands.

You’re glad things with Jean didn’t work out because you don’t see how you’d ever be able
to fit in his life anymore — you’re not even sure if the two of you can be friends anymore.

“Jean, you’re too late,” you say again and he looks away. You urge the letters in his direction
again as you add, “Take the letters.”

“I want you to have them.”

“I don’t want them.”

He flinches at that, finally lifting his hand up from the counter to snatch the letters out of
your grasp and then throwing them onto the counter beside him.

“Fine. I’ll just throw them away,” he says.

“I don’t care.” You know you’re being harsh, but you can’t help it — you’re just so angry.

Jean brings his hand up to rub at his face before he finally looks up at you and he looks so
sad that your resolve almost crumbles. “I’m really sorry,” he says quietly. “I wish I had
treated you better and that I loved you the way that you deserved and I wish… I wish I had
realized sooner how much I need you.”

"If I really meant that much to you, then why couldn't you change for me?" you ask, and
Jean's silence speaks volumes.

Just as the whirring of the popcorn machine cuts out, you hear a firm knock on the front
door.

“Come in!” Connie calls, and you peek out from the doorway of the kitchen, eager to escape
this intense conversation with Jean. You watch in amusement as Sasha perks up in her seat
and brushes her hair back behind her ears.

“It’s Nic!” she mouths to you, giddy.

The door swings open and you watch Sasha’s head cock in confusion at the same time that
Jean blurts out from where he’s standing behind you, “Eren?”

“Hey,” Eren says, grimacing. He glances around the room before landing his gaze on you and
the second you make eye contact, you shift your vision to the floor. “I just wanted to come
talk… can you come outside with me?”

You dart your eyes back up to see Eren still staring at you and you feel your cheeks flooding
with heat. “You came all this way to talk?” And Eren shrugs in response.

You and Sasha share a look and for once, you don’t know what she’s trying to tell you. You
look back up at Eren, swallowing thickly before taking a step toward him. “Yeah, ok,” you
say with a shrug.

Before you walk away, you feel Jean’s large hand wrap around your wrist, holding you firmly
in place. “Wait!” he hisses, drawing all the attention in the room toward him.

You look up at him with wide eyes and watch as his gaze darts from you, to Eren, and back to
you. He stammers, his grip tightening around your wrist as he speaks, “You have to stay. I
need you —”

bzz - bzz - bzz

Your eyes flick down to Jean’s phone on the counter, lighting up with a phone call. Erwin
Smith.

You look back up to Jean to see him still looking down at the phone, but his hold on your
wrist is still tight. His brows furrow, pained, and you pull your hand out from his grip.

“You should answer that,” you say, and he nods curtly, not bothering to look back at you
before he answers the call.

As your eyes move to follow him, you just shake your head, but before you can say anything
your attention snaps back to Eren. He raises his eyebrows at you expectantly.

“Yeah, I’m coming,” you say.

You quietly step through the living room around Sasha’s couch to meet Eren at the doorway.
You slip on some shoes before following him outside and as you turn to close the door, you
lock eyes with Jean in the kitchen. He’s frowning as he talks into the phone, watching you
closely as you close the door behind you.

“Do you wanna go for a drive?” Eren asks, head low as he rocks on his heels.

You’re confused, but you say, “Sure. I just have to be back to watch movies with the others.
Sasha will be upset if I miss our first roommate movie night.”

You walk with Eren back to his car and he opens the door for you. He gives you a soft smile
when you shoot him a questioning look, but settle into the passenger seat all the same. He left
his car running while he came up to the front door, so while you wait for Eren to make his
way into the car, you listen to the soft music playing through his speakers.

“What do you wanna talk about?” you ask when he starts to pull out onto the street.

Eren doesn’t look at you while you’re seated next to him. He keeps his eyes fixed on the road
and both hands on the steering wheel — it feels weird compared to the other times he’s
driven you. But you have to remember, it’s been a long time since you and Eren have been in
a car together, and a lot has changed since then.

You busy yourself by slotting your hands under your thighs and keeping your eyes on the
road.

“I just feel like we didn’t really get a chance to talk earlier today,” he says.

“You had a guest coming, it’s ok,” you say with a shrug. “I said everything I needed to.”

“I have more to say.”

You bite your lip and look down at your lap, trying not to read into the familiar bumps and
curves of the road as he takes you to The Point.

Your heart is still racing from your conversation with Jean, but you’re trying to calm yourself
down as Eren drives. You still can’t fucking believe that Jean would think that something like
that would work on you, after all this time.

The girl you were last year would’ve accepted his confession. She would’ve read every single
one of those letters and listened to Jean’s false promises of changing and being better despite
all of the evidence that showed otherwise.

She would have ran into his arms and apologized to him for things that weren’t even her
fault. She would have kissed him and loved him and forgave him for all the ways he hurt her
— she would have thought that being with Jean would make her happy.

The girl you are now can see the truth. You can see how Jean’s self-awareness doesn’t mean
shit if he won’t put in any effort. Maybe the two of you could have been happy together, and
maybe Jean really is capable of changing — but you can see clearly that Jean doesn’t think
that you’re worth changing for.

Despite expecting this to be a long, awkward drive, Eren pulls up to The Point faster than you
expect. Like always, he takes you down the long, dirt road, winding back and forth through
the sea of trees until you break into a large clearing.

It looks the same as you remember it, beautiful and peaceful. When Eren drives up to the
fence, you notice that there’s a new building from the last time you were here, and even after
all this time, you find yourself blushing and sweating as Eren gears into park.

“Do you wanna go outside?” he asks, still not fully looking at you as he unclips his seatbelt.
You nod in response, doing the same and the two of you exit the vehicle to sit on the hood of
his car.
Being here with Eren helps relax you, even when the two of you aren’t speaking. All of the
tension from your argument with Jean and your disappointment and anger just feels like a
distant memory as you and Eren sit together outside.

You tug your sweater a little tighter around your shoulders — it’s colder now than it was the
last time you were out here with Eren. As you look out at the city and all the lights in the
office buildings, you wonder how many people are in those offices, working late into the
night. The thought makes your chest ache from memories of Titan.

“Most of those offices are probably empty,” Eren says from beside you, as if he can hear your
thoughts.

You shrug, “Yeah, maybe.”

He crosses his arms over his chest and his feet at the ankles and you can feel the heat
radiating off of his body, despite the distance between the two of you.

“I come here a lot these days,” he says, and before your heart can twist itself into a knot, he
adds, “Alone.”

“You don’t bring your girlfriend out here?” you ask, venom lacing your tone, thinking about
the girl from the elevator.

From the corner of your eye, you see him turn to look at you. “My girlfriend?”

You shrug, looking down at your feet, suddenly feeling embarrassed. “As I was leaving, I ran
into your friend in the elevator.”

Eren frowns, visibly confused. “My friend? You know his name.”

“His?”

The two of you blink at each other in confusion.

“You ran into Armin in the elevator?” Eren clarifies and you shake your head.

“Armin? What? No. I ran into that girl.”

“What girl?”

“The one with the dark hair.”

Eren frowns and you can practically see the gears in his brain working as he tries to figure
out who you’re talking about. “Oh!” he says with a grin. “Are you talking about Freida?”

You shrug. “I don’t know her name, but I just know she’s not Armin… and she showed up
right after you buzzed her in.”

“I didn’t buzz her in, she lives in the building,” Eren clarifies. “I was waiting for Armin. Him
and I went for a walk down along the seawall after you and I talked.”
You blink at him, suddenly feeling embarrassed. “I didn’t see Armin.”

“Yeah, doesn’t sound like it,” he snickers.

You wave your hand in dismissal, annoyed. “Well, she’s very pretty, Eren. I’m really happy
for you.”

“Why are you happy about that?”

“She seems like a nice girlfriend, the two of you look good together.”

Eren laughs and turns back to face the view. “She’s my neighbour.”

“Yeah, well… I was dating my roommate,” you say with another shrug.

“So, you and Jean?” Eren asks, rubbing the nape of his neck with his palm. “I hope I didn’t
interrupt your conversation. Seemed intense.”

You shake your head, feeling anger bubbling in your gut. “Nothing’s going on with me and
Jean anymore,” you say. “I don’t even know who he is.”

“Yeah,” Eren hums, turning back to look at the city. “I see him at work every once and a
while and he’s…”

“Just like his father?” you suggest and Eren presses his lips together tightly.

“Don’t let him hear you say that.”

“He knows what I think.”

You fiddle with your hands in your lap, keeping your eyes glued on the cityscape in an effort
to ignore the way Eren is looking at you from the corner of your eye. Did he invite you out
here just to talk about Jean? You wish you hadn’t agreed to come out here with him — it feels
like a waste of time.

“Tell me about Hizaru,” he prompts. “I want to know how it was.”

“Reiner and I were about an hour away from each other so we were only able to see each
other on weekends,” you explain. “So, I was lonely a lot of the time. The town I was sent to
was pretty small and I was the only English teacher, so I spent a lot of time by myself.”

“That must’ve been weird,” Eren hums.

“Yeah, it was,” you chuckle. “I deleted all my social media and stuff, too — I just felt like I
needed a break from everyone back home… I only kept in touch with Sasha.”

“What did you do?”

You shrug. “After work, I would go for walks around the town. I read a lot at home —
especially during winter,” you laugh a little at the memory. “And then on the weekends I
would meet up with Reiner and a few of the other teachers in one of the bigger cities and we
would do all the fun touristy stuff in Hizaru.”

“How was Reiner?” Eren asks, and you finally look up at him. He’s staring at you with rapt
attention, a soft smile on his face. Seeing him looking at you like this has your cheeks
burning.

“I think he enjoyed it a lot,” you smile, and you watch Eren’s grow to match yours. “I’m glad
we went.”

“Sounds like it was good for you.”

You nod, looking back at the city with your lip between your teeth. “Yeah… I needed some
time alone for a bit and it was hard to get that here. I needed to figure out what I really
wanted in life and who I wanted there with me.”

“And?”

“Sasha,” you say definitively with a smile on your face. “And Reiner. I don’t know what I
would’ve done without them.”

“No Connie?” Eren asks and you can hear his unspoken accompanying question, No Jean?

“Connie and I were friends, but we were never really close,” you admit with a shake of your
head, and you leave it at that.

Eren hums in understanding and he looks away from you, turning to face the city. The two of
you sit there in silence for a moment, listening to the soft sounds of the river below the cliff
and the buzzing of insects in the trees.

It’s always been easy talking with Eren. And even after all this time, you find it easy to slip
back into a rhythm with him — even though your relationship is different. The boundaries
the two of you set up in your relationship made it hard for you to acknowledge the depth of
your relationship with Eren. He told you not to fall in love with him. You told him you were
just using him to get to Jean.

But Eren was your friend, first and foremost — friend before the benefits. He was someone
you felt comfortable talking to. Someone you felt like you could really confide in. All of
those walls that you had put up around yourself to hide from Jean didn’t exist when you
talked to Eren.

At the time, you told yourself it was because you had nothing to lose with Eren. You were
just using each other — it didn’t matter if he saw the ugly parts of you.

But seeing those ugly parts made him fall in love with you — and maybe that was your
mistake with Jean. Maybe Jean would’ve been vulnerable with you if you had torn down
your walls, first.

Unlike Jean, you’ve never lied to Eren — except for maybe once.
“It took me a while to feel like myself again after you left,” he says, filling the silence. “I
think I just sat in my apartment and got high every night for a month before Armin finally
shook some sense into me.”

“Ok,” you say, not knowing what else to say.

“I felt so stupid being so upset about our breakup even though we were never even really
together. And I felt like, what was the point in trying to be better if there wasn’t someone I
was being better for, you know?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“But Armin helped me realize that I need to be better for myself and then I felt like my life
really started.”

“I’m happy to hear that,” you hum, pursing your lips. “Armin sounds like a really good
friend.”

“He is,” Eren says, and you can hear him smiling when he does.

“Why did you bring me here, Eren?” you sigh, twisting your head away from him. “What did
you want to talk to me about?”

“You didn’t give me a chance to thank you for the gift,” he explains, and you swear he’s
inched himself a little closer to you. “It was really thoughtful of you.”

The way Eren’s voice dips has you flaring in anger. “So, you brought me out here to hook
up?” you snap, twisting back around to face him.

You almost feel bad for snapping at him from the way he frowns at you — he seems hurt.
“No, that’s not it at all. I’m not like that, anymore.”

“Well, ok. You said your thank you, you can take me home, now,” you huff, stuffing your
hands deep into your pockets to hide the way they shake.

“It hurt me a lot when you left… and even more so when you used me to get over Jean,” Eren
says quietly and you frown.

“I know, Eren,” you say softly. “I’m sorry I did that to you.”

“But, I deserved it. That’s how I treated people when I was hurting — so it was like some
sort of fucked up cosmic punishment for the things I did in the past.” Eren shrugs, shifting a
little closer to you until your shoulders are touching.

“When you came to see me today, I wasn’t expecting anything from you. The apology was
nice, but I didn’t —” he shrugs, “I felt like I was just some item on your checklist of things to
do when you got back to town. You know, like: unpack all your shit, find a job, apologize to
Eren… that sort of thing.” Eren shifts his hands to his thighs, nervously rubbing them up and
down like he’s trying to wipe the sweat off of his palms. “But then you gave me that
Gundam,” he says, “and I realized that that meant you thought about me while you were
gone.”

You crinkle your nose as he smiles at you and you look away from him.

“Did you miss me?” he teases, and you look over at him with a frown.

“What?” you hiss, crossing your arms tight over your chest.

“I said, did you miss me?” he repeats, rolling his tongue against his cheek. “You must’ve, if
you brought that gift all the way from Hizaru.”

You feel your face burning with embarrassment and you turn back to the city with a huff.
“Yeah, I guess?” and you can practically hear his smile growing. “But what does it matter?”
you say through a heavy breath. “You didn’t really seem like you wanted to talk to me when I
went to see you and besides, you have your pretty neighbour, now.”

You can’t hide the resentment in your voice as you speak. But the thought that Eren has
moved on with someone else makes you feel a type of visceral anger and jealousy that you
can’t seem to control yourself. And suddenly you feel words bubbling up in your throat that
you promised yourself you wouldn't say out loud.

You ball one hand into a fist and gently thump it on your thigh, feeling another flood of heat
rise into your cheeks. “I thought about you a lot, Eren,” you admit, embarrassed at the way
your voice wavers. “I missed you, so much — more than anyone else — I’m so sorry, Eren.”

“Why are you apologizing?” he asks, leaning forward into your line of sight.

You blink at him, tears streaming more freely, now. “Eren, when I left for Hizaru I was so
heartbroken,” you say, struggling to keep your voice from shaking. “I was so upset that Jean
didn’t want to be with me that it felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. But when
I got to Hizaru, I realized that I wasn’t hurt because of Jean… Eren, I was heartbroken
because of you.”

His eyes widen in surprise as he looks at you, urging you to continue.

“I thought I loved Jean, but I don’t think I ever did,” you say. “I had no idea what real love
felt like — I didn’t know what I meant when I felt so calm and peaceful anytime I was with
you. I didn’t understand why I wanted to show you all of my broken pieces and why you
treated me with such care.” You swallow thickly, struggling to keep your eyes fixed on his as
they well up with tears. “I didn’t understand why things felt so dull and boring without you or
why I couldn’t keep myself away from you or why things with Jean just didn’t feel right!”

You twist your hands into tight fists against your thighs as you sob up at Eren. “I kept
comparing the way I felt for you with how I felt for Jean, and I was so confused because it
felt so different. I loved you, Eren — I loved you so fucking much.”

Eren grabs your chin and steers your face toward his, looking down at you softly. He thumbs
the tears away from your cheeks as his eyes scan your face.
“I told myself I wouldn't tell you this — I know it's not fair after everything I did... But it’s
always been you, Eren,” you confess softly, leaning further into Eren’s touch. “I’ve always
been in love with you — and even after all of this time, I still… I’m still in love with you.”

He gently runs his thumb along your jawline, almost absent-mindedly as he looks down at his
lap, and his hair falls down and obscures his face. “I really liked seeing you again today, but
it was hard for me.”

“I know, Eren. I’m sorry.”

Eren laughs, leaning toward you to run one hand down your spine to rest on your lower back
while the other cradles the back of your head and you find yourself leaning forward into his
touch.

“You really broke my heart, you know,” he says softly and you frown at him. “The first time
was that night at the restaurant when you left with Jean. And again the night we fought and I
saw Jean go up to Reiner’s apartment. And then again the last night we were together.”

You swallow thickly, your lip trembling as you look up at him. “I’m so sorry, Eren. I can’t
undo the past, but I promise you that I’ve changed. Living in Hizaru and being away from
everyone helped me realize who is important to me, and you are important to me, Eren.”

He smiles at you, but it’s strained. “I don’t want you to undo the past,” he says, and you blink
up at him curiously. “The past is an important part of who we are today, but it doesn’t define
us — we can be better.”

You nod up at him, feeling your heart clench.

“Tell me,” Eren says, eyes narrowing. “Tell me what’s different now.”

As you look at him, you can see the hope in his eyes. Even after all this time and after how
badly you hurt him, you can still see the warmth in his gaze as he looks at you. It makes your
heart clench in your chest and your stomach twist into knots because you don’t deserve him.
You treated him terribly and now you’re doing the exact same thing to Eren that Jean did to
you — Eren has every right to be wary.

But you can't control the way you feel about him and when you think back to the way Jean
treated you — how he wouldn't let you make your own decision about whether or not the two
of you should be together — you decide to give Eren the grace that Jean never gave you.

“I don’t want to just tell you,” you say softly. “I want to show you — every day — in
everything that I do and everything that I say, I want you to see how different things are and
how much I’ve matured and that my love for you is real, Eren.” You swallow thickly,
blinking away the tears in your eyes. “Whatever you need me to do, Eren, I promise, I’ll do
it. I betrayed your trust and I broke your heart and I understand if you never want to speak to
me again — but I’d like to believe that the reason why you asked me to come out here
tonight is because you still have feelings for me, too… and I don’t want to make another
mistake.”
“What was the mistake?”

“Leaving you.”

His grip on the back of your head tightens and he swipes his thumb across the skin behind
your ear. Eren looks down at you, his gaze bouncing between each of your eyes like he’s
hoping to find some sort of an answer in your gaze.

“You really did have an Eat, Pray, Love journey out there, huh?” he teases and you finally
crack a smile.

“Eren,” you scold, but it’s muffled from the way he pulls you into his chest. You want to
bury your face into his shirt as you smell his vanilla cologne and, in an instant, your mind is
flooded with memories.

“Come on, tell me more about how much you love me,” he says, and you can feel the rumble
of his laughter in his chest as he holds you close. “Am I handsome? Am I the funniest guy
you know? Come on!”

“You’re so annoying,” you huff, but you’re clutching tightly to the fabric of Eren’s shirt as
you listen to the sound of his heart beating. “I take it all back, Eren. I don’t wanna be with
you anymore.”

He just squeezes you tighter, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck and you can feel
your heart pounding against your ribcage. It feels so good to be held in Eren’s arms like this
again — to be laughing and joking around with him — you can feel the tears freely running
down your cheeks as your eyes flutter shut to enjoy the moment.

“I forgave you the second you gave me that Gundam,” he admits, smiling against your skin.
“That gift felt like an apology all on its own. The fact that you brought me back something —
something that I had only mentioned to you in passing! — was all the proof I needed from
you that your feelings are genuine.”

“What if I brought souvenirs back for everyone?” you challenge. “Maybe you’re not that
special.”

“Babe, I’ve been buying Gundams for years — I know how expensive those things are.”

You crinkle your nose and make a small sound of annoyance, but Eren’s little petname for
you has your stomach doing backflips in your gut. You gently push him away from you so
you can look up at his face, but he keeps his hands protectively cradling your body as he
blinks down at you.

“So, we’re good?” you ask, and he grins.

“We’re good,” he says. “But you just got back from Hizaru, let’s take things slow — like a
normal couple. I’m not going to let you jump my bones immediately —”

“Eren!”
He snickers, struggling to hide his grin. “What?” he coos, leaning forward to brush his nose
against your cheek. “Let me get a few more digs in — you owe me.”

You huff in mock annoyance, but you’re smiling just as wide as he is as he peppers small
kisses along your jaw.

“Say it again,” he hums, teeth tugging on your earlobe. “Wanna hear it again.”

“What?” you ask and he bites down a little harder.

“You know what.”

You push him gently away from you, cupping his head in your hands as you smile at him. “I
love you,” you say.

He smiles, “Again.”

“I love you.”

“One more time.”

“Eren, I love you,” you sigh, and this time you lean forward and press your lips into his.

He’s still smiling as he kisses you, his hands gripping your waist tightly as he pulls you into
him. You start giggling into his mouth as his fingers press into your skin and your hands shift
down to grab handfuls of his shirt, tugging him even closer.

The two of you are grinning so hard that you’re hardly kissing anymore — just pulling each
other close and sharing air as you giggle and laugh. You feel so light and free as Eren holds
you and you’re grateful for this chance to prove yourself to him — it’s a chance you don’t
deserve after the way you treated him, but you’re thankful that he still sees the best in you,
even after all this time.

“I should probably take you back,” he whispers, and you clutch his shirt tighter. “Sasha’s
gonna be pissed at me if I steal you away all night.”

“She’ll understand,” you whine, but he unravels your hands from the fabric of his shirt.

“Taking things slow, remember?” he says, eying you mischievously. “There’s always
tomorrow. I can take you out for lunch or something.”

“Why don’t you come over?” you ask, and his brows raise in surprise. “You said you wanted
me to invite you to movie night, right?”

He smiles, eyes crinkling as he laces his fingers with yours. “Yeah, ok. I can come over.”

You smile back at him, squeezing his hands in little pulses as your heart thunders in your
chest. Even though he just agreed to go back home with you, you can’t find it in yourself to
let go of his hand.
“What are we watching tonight?” he asks.

“I wanted to watch an anime movie, but Connie is against the idea of watching cartoons.”

“I’m surprised you don’t want to watch another one of your little rom-coms,” he teases, and
his comment reminds you of something.

“Oh, hey — what’s with the rose?” you ask and his eyebrows shoot up into his hairline.

“Oh, shit! You still have those flowers?”

“Well, Sasha threw out the ones that were rotting while I was gone,” you explain, “but there’s
still one rose left.”

He grins, obviously pleased with himself as he speaks, “Yeah, I swapped out one of the roses
in the bouquet I got you a while back with a fake one.”

“Why would you do that?”

“I just thought you’d like it,” he says with a nervous chuckle. “You like all those big romantic
gestures in those movies — so I thought I’d do something like that, too.”

You bite your lip as you look at him. “So, what does that mean?”

“It represents my feelings,” he says, and your eyes immediately well up with tears. “I’ll love
you until the last flower dies.”

“That’s so cheesy,” you say dismissively, but you have to wipe the tears away from your
cheeks.

“Did you hear me?” he asks, reaching forward to grab your wrists, pulling your hands away
from your face. “I said, I love you.”

“I heard you,” you say, feeling your cheeks burning in embarrassment. “I love you too,
Eren.”

He grins at you, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to your forehead before leaning back.
“I’ll never get tired of hearing that,” he says around his smile. “Hey, since we’re staying here
a little bit longer, there’s something I wanna do.”

He slips his fingers out of your grasp and pulls away. You watch him curiously as he walks
back to the driver’s side of his car, leaning in through the open driver’s side window and
cranking up the dial on his sound system. The Point fills with the sound of the music playing
from his car as he crawls back out and approaches you with a wry grin.

You look at him warily as he extends a hand out, and without even thinking about it, you
reach out to fit your hand in his. He pulls you close against his chest and you feel your heart
skip a beat when he settles his free hand on your lower back. You can hear the soft thumping
of his heart against his ribs when you rest your head on his chest and as you breathe in the
vanilla, you finally feel relaxed.
 Eren leans down, sending chills down your spine as he whispers into your ear.

“Do you want to dance?”

Chapter End Notes

We made it!!

Thank you all so much to everyone who read this 300k-word love triangle story! It

leaving comments and sending me messages on Tumblr 🥺

really means a lot to me that there were so many people tuning in week after week and
I really feel so lucky that
you all enjoyed my story and I hope the ending was satisfying!

At the time of posting this, we’re at 1,452 kudos, 261 bookmarks, and 64k views, that’s
insane!!

From the beginning, it was always going to be Eren 🙈 I’m sure some people might not
believe me because there were some very vocal commenters early on who wanted an
Eren ending, but I think I left enough clues throughout the whole story that show it was
always going to be him. Maybe now, in hindsight, those clues will be more obvious on a
re-read?

The plan was always for Jean and Eren to swap roles. Eren was going to be the “bad
guy” with the redemption arc and Jean was going to be the “good guy” with the
corruption arc. I was actually concerned that Eren would be too unlikeable at the
beginning, so I added a lot of cute/caring moments to make him seem like less of an
asshole -- unfortunately, that was at the detriment of Jean and so a lot of people spent the
whole story hating Jean lol

project and I totally encourage all of you to tell me your thoughts about the story 🥰
Oh well! This is my first big story, so there’s lots that I can improve on for my next

Positives and negatives! Was the ending satisfying? Were there any plot holes or things
that came up that were never addressed later? Idk, whatever, I’m excited to hear it all
and to answer any questions!!

Keep your eyes peeled for my future projects:

🙏🙏🙏
Jean/Reader mini-series -- I know I promised I’d release this after this final
chapter, but I think I need more time to edit and refine it
Jean/Reader phone sex one-shot
I’m so sorry!

Eren/Reader cheating one-shot

Gym Rat!Eren/Reader one-shot
Eren/Reader/Jean one-shot
right now, so until then, you will all have your Tuesdays back! 🥰
I’d like to write another multi-chapter story, but I don’t have any solid plans for that
And I will be posting
all of the bonus/deleted scenes that I shared on Tumblr, here on AO3 (plus some extras).
But I want to organize them a bit so they’re in somewhat chronological order first.

You can reach out to me with any other questions, comments, or just to chat via my
Tumblr! I also have some small drabbles posted there that you can check out if you’re
interested.

Again, thank you all so much for reading this! Whether you were reading each new

💗💗💗
chapter every Tuesday or you’re reading this week/months/years from the posting date --
I love and appreciate every single one of you

And thank you to everyone who sent me something that was inspired by this story! In
case you missed it:
Art by Toxrez
Art by Whenrene
Art by Toxrez
Art by Haru_Kichou
Art by Toxrez
Art by Toxrez
Moodboard by jeanboyjean
Playlist by shepnicolo (and supplemental song breakdown)
Playlist by femme-lune (and supplemental song breakdown)
Spin-off chapter, Beautiful by shepnicolo
Spin-off chapter, Crestfallen by shepnicolo

If I missed anything, please let me know and I will add you!

Links updated November 16, 2023

Works inspired by this one

Beautiful by shepnicolo

Crestfallen by shepnicolo

Please drop by the Archive and comment to let the creator know if you enjoyed their work!