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  • Have You Seen Me

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    Trinidad Burgos
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    The document describes two different attachment patterns: avoidant and preoccupied. For avoidant children, the summary would be: They hide their feelings and appear self-reliant to protect themselves from hurt, but they may feel withdrawn, ignore emotions, and avoid close relationships. For preoccupied children, the summary is: They feel they must exaggerate their behavior and feelings to get attention since they fear losing it. They are disruptive, clingy, demanding, and have difficulty with rules to compensate for underlying feelings of insecurity. Both types of children would benefit from nurturing relationships, structure, and support to help make their feelings feel safe and to aid learning.

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    Have-you-seen-me (2)

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    The document describes two different attachment patterns: avoidant and preoccupied. For avoidant children, the summary would be: They hide their feelings and appear self-reliant to protect themselves from hurt, but they may feel withdrawn, ignore emotions, and avoid close relationships. For preoccupied children, the summary is: They feel they must exaggerate their behavior and feelings to get attention since they fear losing it. They are disruptive, clingy, demanding, and have difficulty with rules to compensate for underlying feelings of insecurity. Both types of children would benefit from nurturing relationships, structure, and support to help make their feelings feel safe and to aid learning.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Flag for inappropriate content
    Download as pdf or txt
    4 views2 pages

    Have You Seen Me

    Uploaded by

    Trinidad Burgos
    The document describes two different attachment patterns: avoidant and preoccupied. For avoidant children, the summary would be: They hide their feelings and appear self-reliant to protect themselves from hurt, but they may feel withdrawn, ignore emotions, and avoid close relationships. For preoccupied children, the summary is: They feel they must exaggerate their behavior and feelings to get attention since they fear losing it. They are disruptive, clingy, demanding, and have difficulty with rules to compensate for underlying feelings of insecurity. Both types of children would benefit from nurturing relationships, structure, and support to help make their feelings feel safe and to aid learning.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Flag for inappropriate content
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    of 2

    Have you seen me in your class ?

    My brain protected me by
    developing an Avoidant
    Attachment Pattern.

    I believe if I show my feelings, other people withdraw or they


    You can help me feel safe and happy in your class
    hurt me. The best thing I can do, is to hide my feelings and so that I can learn, you can do this by:
    pretend everything is okay. You may notice that I: Finding opportunities to nurture me
    Gently show me that feelings are safe to share
    Am withdrawn and quiet Help me name my feelings by saying “I wonder if…”
    Rely on information and ignore feelings Help me to feel good about myself regardless
    Am too self-reliant for my age of achievement
    Organise me into small groups and encourage
    Am reluctant to ask for help
    1:1 relationships
    Deny my distress by saying “I’m fine”
    Remain physically close to me even when I’m
    May try to take care of others
    in trouble
    Can appear happy and bright most of Arrange for older children to be buddies
    the time Show me that you hold me in mind (I thought
    Am a model pupil about you on the weekend and...)
    Might show sudden outbursts of anger Using questions which are clear and precise
    or upset Using characters, films, videos to help
    Avoid getting close to others describe emotions
    Focus on what I can't do rather than Using writing frames (filling in boxes etc)
    to prevent anxiety about spilling out into a blank
    what I can do
    page
    Fear failure and need to be the best
    Avoiding activities which are about winning/ losing
    Zone out or shut down when stressed
    all the time, encourage playfulness, taking part

    www.beaconhouse.org.uk
    FOLLOW US

    @BeaconHouseTeam
    Have you seen me in your class ?
    My brain has protected me by
    developing a Pre-Occupied
    Attachment Pattern

    I believe to get others’ attention, I must exaggerate my feelings and my You can help me feel safe and happy in your class
    behaviour. When I have their attention, I must hold on to it for as long as so that I can learn, you can do this by:
    possible as I don’t know when I’ll have it again. You may notice that I:
    Finding opportunities to nurture me
    Am disruptive, loud and dominant in class Seeing the hidden feeling of fear behind my
    Am clingy or possessive in relationships behaviour
    Showing empathy even when I’m raging at you
    Am very demanding of your time and
    Providing a highly predictable, structured routine
    attention
    Using visual timetables and instructions
    Am more concerned with getting attention
    Breaking down tasks into small chunks
    than with learning Providing transitional objects 'please look after this
    Find it difficult to settle by myself for me for a while'
    Talk excessively or act like the clown Noticing and keeping me in mind (I thought of you
    Have concentration problems when…)
    Am very focussed on feelings Gently ask questions to get me to thinking rather
    Find it hard to follow rules and structure than feeling
    Have poor understanding of cause and effect Increasing any separation very slowly
    Offering extra support for transitions
    Cannot take responsibility for my actions
    Planning beginnings, endings and separations
    Am coercive, controlling, & confrontational
    Giving me strategies to calm strong emotions
    Am under performing academically
    Using permission cards to take time out
    Become stressed or angry when things Providing a physical space for me to retreat to
    change Mediating and scaffolding peer relationships

    www.beaconhouse.org.uk
    FOLLOW US

    @BeaconHouseTeam

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